File: 1557968121945.jpg (140.37 KB, 427x547, un_gato__by_faboarts.jpg)
No. 410651
>>410647i think you're a bit of an asshole but for good reason tbh, if you're bonded and its treated well then so be it
domestic cats should NOT be outdoor cats, so like…sorry lady lmao you obviously didn't care enough to worry until it was gone
not like she can prove its hers anyway
No. 410658
>>410657I don't see what the problem with this kind of thread is? I like it.
Just ignore it if you don't like it.
No. 410668
>>410647You basically stole the cat because the cat was being a slut for attention like how most cats are.
But the original owner is also an asshole for letting their cat outside, anything else could have happened to it like being eaten or hit by a car.
>>410650Not the asshole.
No. 410672
>>410665But really, would you rather hear if you're an asshole from idiotic, cumbrained, misogynistic scrotes on Reddit, or from (halfway) sane anons who have no interest in gaslighting and/or shilling political agendas?
As long as the gross run-off from Reddit don't make their way here, I think it's fine.
No. 410684
>>410681I'm sorry but OP is clearly saying that she has seen that the owner is actively looking for her cat and has flat out lied about stealing it? It's not like she took in a starving stray animal.
>>410677In most of Europe, people believe the cat's well being and happiness is most important than his owner's wishes.
No. 410686
>>410684How is it beneficial for a cat‘s wellbeing to be run over by a car?
I got my cat from a shelter, she was dying outside before someone found her. Never letting my baby outside, the risk is way too high.
No. 410688
>>410684I am searching every single combination of words I can think of to find anywhere where indoor cats are considered animal abuse or against the law and finding nothing. Provide specific countries please.
>the cat's well being and happiness is most important than his owner's wishes.Which is why they should always be indoors. What part of "significantly shorter lifespan" is so hard to understand?
No. 410689
>>410687Cats enjoy the outside until some neighbor's dog or a tire is tearing them to shreds.
And if you don't want someone to accidentally steal your cat, I repeat: put a damn tag on it. It's not yours anymore the second you let it outside without a tag or microchip.
No. 410692
>>410687It really depends on where you live, as you said. If I lived in the countryside with little traffic or other things that could hurt my cat, she'd be an outdoor cat too.
Unfortunately I don’t live in a place like that at all, so she has to stay inside.
We’re always worried about her not tolerating a collar though, because what if she gets outside somehow one day and what OP described happens?
No. 410694
>>410689>>410688You people don't understand the purpose of this thread I am afraid. What's the point of ''am i an asshole?'' thread if you're just looking for people to hugbox you and polarizing opinions in your favour?
If you can't comprehend that in many countries outside the US, people live in the countryside with few cars and danger IDK what to tell you. Btw collars are a choking hazard since they can get caught in branches etc. Seems more like a comestic accessory than anything else.
No. 410709
>>410705>Btw in tons of places in the world letting your cat indoors is considered cruel and abusiveUsing that phrasing made it sound like you were saying it was illegal and you did not clarify what you meant until now. Anyone who thinks it's
abusive to greatly lower your cat's chance of dying is either a nutjob or horribly uneducated on the subject, but shouldn't own a cat either way.
Also, your previous argument that collars are mostly cosmetic is absolutely retarded. You are participating in a conversation that centers around how black of identification can lead to people mistaking your cat for a stray. How can you be so dumb to say they're just an aesthetic thing in this context?
No. 410712
>>410708So you would rather live 90 years completely miserable in prison than 50 years free?
>>410709It's funny for someone how hell bent on safety you are, you would put your cat's health in jeopardy for the sake of identification. Many more ways exist like tattoos and microchips.
Stop thinking a cat living outdoors equals immediate death lol. My cat lived 6 years outdoors/indoors before becoming a complete indoors cat. Statistics are skewed since they refer to stray cats, not outdoors cats who also get fed and medically treated by human beings.
No. 410719
>>410712>It's funny for someone how hell bent on safety you are, you would put your cat's health in jeopardy for the sake of identification. The health risks to a cat from being outside are incomparably greater than whatever weird complication comes from form of identification. This is one of the weakest gotchas I've ever seen.
>Statistics are skewed since they refer to stray cats, not outdoors cats who also get fed and medically treated by human beings.I am finding nothing that says this other than your post. Sources?
>So you would rather live 90 years completely miserable in prison than 50 years free?A more comparable number would be 20 years with the ability to go outside or 100 years indoors in a nice apartment with everything I need. And I would choose the latter.
No. 410723
>>410716He actually hasn't even expressed any interest in going outside.
In my experience, most people who want their cats to be outdoor cats just want to deal with less litter and general burden. I've seen people make their cats go outside and I wouldn't be surprised if this was the case with him because he doesn't seem to have a desire to at all. Anytime I leave he just sits there, doesn't try to go out the door. Even when I had it open for like 10 minutes to bring my new fridge inside.
No. 410725
>>410723You still stole someone’s cat. ESH but obviously you’re the bigger fucking asshole for stealing someone’s pet, most people consider them family members
Doesn’t matter what your stance on outdoor vs indoor is because it’s still not YOUR cat
No. 410729
>>410724I am neither middle class nor American, I’m just not a retard that lets loose animals to roam outside of my property which I have absolutely no intention of supervising
By your logic I should let my rabbits roam about the city just because they want to with complete disregard to their safety and well-being
No. 410730
>>410719>100 years indoors in a nice apartment with everything I needBig derail (although I guess it's already a derail), but this sounds so nice. Living out my days at home with my family and just taking part in my hobbies and sleeping, eating, and getting snugs.
God I wish I were my cat.
No. 410737
>>410735This is yet another dumb comparison because a mother doing that with her kid would have CPS called on her and be charged with child neglect or some shit.
Are you afraid of this happening to you? Just microchip your fucking cat.
No. 410762
>>410758And the owner clearly doesn't care about the obvious consequences of being insanely irresponsible with her cat.
Also, are you missing the part about there being no definitive way to know the cat belonged to this girl in the first place? You're essentially advocating that anyone who loses their cat in easily avoidable situations are justified to punch any rando who has a cat that resembles it.
No. 410767
>>410763That's true of some cats, but definitely not all. There's a lot of cats that look generic AF.
>>410761To be fair, the owner could easily think the cat is hers when it isn't. I had a friend who was convinced a neighbor stole their cat (similar situation but this one had a collar) only to find its remains in the woods the next week. There's really no way of being certain.
No. 410774
>>410766I just want to point out in some states animal control will straight up put the animal down if there's no evidence anyone owns the animal and the shelters are overcrowded.
So yeah, don't be dumb with your animals.
No. 410783
File: 1557982003202.gif (971.69 KB, 500x280, tumblr_ng1gmfJaqo1qgf1i8o1_500…)
Moral of the story: microchip your cat
No. 410787
>>410780willing to bet like a good third of the anti-letting cats out ones. repeating talking points/phrases.
>>410771yeah, owner is at fault for not feeling ops massive psycho pet stealer vibes /s
No. 410789
>>410782That's so horrible anon, I'm so sorry you're in such a nightmare of a situation. You absolutely should leave and take the kids. You're not an asshole in the slightest for doing that.
Also, no father is far better than a horrible father.
I wish you the best.
No. 410790
>>410782Trying to escape from an
abusive household doesn't make you an asshole. I can't really give you any life advice, but I hope things work out alright for you, and that you can be free of him someday.
No. 410795
>>410782it's a tricky one due to children. firstly, please elaborate what you mean by him having changed a bit? is the emotional abuse in the past too then?
in my heart I want to tell you to dump him bc being a child of a family where the dad abuses the mom is worse than a poorer but healthier household imo but I'm not sure what's the best way for you to disengage from him. if he isn't
abusive rn, work on getting a job and saving up some, if he is, reach out to women's shelters or crisis centres.
don't worry abt the father figure meme, I'm sure no father figure is better than father figure that abuses them, especially if your children are boys.
No. 410931
>>410782No, you're not the asshole for wanting to leave someone because he raped and abused you.
Your children would be disgusted if they found this out when they're older. They will understand why you left.
However how do you intend to gain custody of the kids if he lawyers up and shows that you've never had a work history and need benefits in order to live?
If he's asshole enough to rape you, he's likely asshole enough to punish you through your kids by trying to assassinate your character and take them away. Unless you think he won't, but I've seen
abusive men before…
No. 410939
>>410684I live in Ireland and lived in a residential area my cat was a rescue and likes access to outdoors. It's extremely common to see rescue pages and sites stating if a cat is indoor or needs outdoor access, it's better for their enrichment to get access outside. Maybe US car states are more dangerous. Personally my cat spends some hours outside, she's street smart and engages with school children knowing the times of their commute to get pets. When I was at school she use to range down to the bus stop and walk me home. Some owners give more freedom to their cats. My cat would always come when called and certain nights of the year like bonfire nights or Halloween, fireworks she was kept in. I guess it depends on area, I'm obviously not from US but sounds like this cat was use to having outdoor access.
I'd be interested how the content the cat is now being indoors.
No. 410940
>>410931I honestly don’t know.. I feel so broken and defeated at this point and keep switching between despising him and being unable to imagine life without him..
He’s a student so I don’t see him being able to afford a lawyer of any sort but I’m worried my history of abuse could be used against and it would be decided that I’m unfit to be a mother
To the anon that asked before, I don’t think he’s emotionally
abusive anymore.. but I’m very much frightened. I never feel truly at ease anymore and he does have a short fuse. Every little thing he does that inconveniences my life now makes me build up resentment, even if it’s something as mild as not helping with cleaning the house and I have to do it myself while in severe pain
I regret not having left earlier because at the end of the day I think I’m only staying because of our two kids now, but whenever I even entertain the thought of leaving I feel the biggest piece of shit on earth and when he cries I instantly forgive him and regret even bringing up any relationship issues we have
I’m just at a complete loss as to what I should do and whether or not I’m scum for even feeling this way. It’s been 6 years I feel like I should get over it but I know I would never even think of suggesting such a thing to any other rape
victim..
I love him but I don’t know if that’s enough at this point
No. 410949
>>410947What’s inconsistent about it?
And I don’t see my two year old and infant being able to attest to any abuse
No. 410956
>>410953What have you been doing in the last few years of adulthood? Did your
abusive parents prevent you from working as an adult?
No. 410958
>>410947How is she stupid? Making bad decisions because of either love, or because the alternatives are scary doesn't make someone stupid.
>>410940>>410782First off, start documenting, even if that just means writing down whenever he does things that could be grounds for an unhealthy relationship. What country are you in? Support for mothers is unfortunately varied by where you live. I don't know much about in the US, but in the UK you could divorce on grounds of the past abuse, be offered social housing on the basis of being a mother on benefits and split custody so that the children still see their father.
I'm sorry but when you say "my history of abuse" do you mean you yourself have abused people or drugs, or do you mean his own past abuse?
No. 410964
>>410959Do your parents help with babysitting ever or a desire to look after their grandkids? Do you have an type of friends or family that would mind your kids a few hours a day while you get whatever legalities you need to gain employment in the future. Obviously child care cost and welfare of your kids is a big concern so you need to think about how you can have them minded while you look into getting part time work or taking part time classes in the meantime. I assume your fiancé will not help with minding them or spending money on childcare so you need to figure that out because I assume you'll want to start working with a roof over your head to gain independence and maybe save and then once you're out of the house you can hopefully feel comfortable seeking proper help. Hopefully you can leave him sooner if he's
abusive and have somewhere to stay
No. 410967
>>410964My mum helps out often as she’s the only one I even remotely trust, I don’t have any friends as I’ve been pretty socially isolated and have trouble opening up to people
I feel like asking for advice on this may have been a mistake, whenever I bring stuff like this up I doubt myself and worry that I’m lying to everyone.. god I know I’m coming off as pathetic and I’m really sorry for that, no one wants to read a sob story (especially on an imageboard)
No. 410968
>>410782For god's sake, get out of there. You're not the asshole, you're living with a monster, bail.
I'll post my own:
I quit my decent paying but dead-end tedious job to be my mother's secretary/assistant/manager/whatever. She's started a new business that's getting pretty successful but because she took out a loan to start it she can't afford to pay me more than the bare minimum I need for rent and groceries (the plan is that my wage will go up significantly once the loans are repaid, on steady course to be done by September).
My partner is saying that it was shitty of me to accept this low wage job because, while I can cover the basics, I have a lot less money left for nice things like eating out and we can't take the vacation to Japan together they wanted in December. Am I being an asshole to my partner by bringing in a lot less money to the household than I used to, even though it's a temporary thing?
No. 410972
>>410960What the fuck kind of question is that to ask someone?
>>410961But even if you have received support for mental health issues, that doesn't mean that you are marked unfit as a mother unless it's a genuine risk such as a current substance dependency or in manageable personality disorder. Even with both if those examples, something like that would only be a temporary problem until you could prove you were maintaining your mental health once in a safe environment. Additionally, if it was found that the family home was unsafe for you butsomehow still a better place for your children, you should be supported so that you can provide equal custody once you live alone, with the worst case scenario being that you might have to bear through an assessment period. However as the mother and as a domestic abuse
victim you would be in a sympathetic position, and should also be able to ask social services up front if there would be any issues with your claim for custody. At least in the uk, this would be the the case.
Sorry to press the nationality thing, but anons from your city might be able to tell you of welfare organisations that can help get you going in the right direction.
No. 411092
>>410986don't stop there anon! you gotta exclude the bobfocs and the ones with bad teeth/hair colours etc too
ps even if you don't say it out loud, even if you come up with an excuse they'll know. haha. "I know you're my sister but I am being blackmailed by my colleague's wife's niece so she has to be a bridesmaid instead sorry about that"
No. 412367
>>410647wow you're a huge asshole.
You basically kidnapped someone's family member because you have different views on wether cats should be indoors or outdoors.
How would you feel if your beloved family member had been taken away from you by a cunt and you didn't even know where she went or if she's dead. How would you feel to keep on waiting every day for your cat to come back?
You have no idea if this person took good care of their pet. not everyone has your views and some see it as animal cruelty to lock their cat up indoors.
I hope you feel bad, you're horrible.
No. 412372
>>412370NTA and I am an Amerifag but like… you do realize lots of people hate cats, right? I have heard so many horror stories of cats being tortured or poisoned or killed, and most commonly, getting run over. Even letting your cat outside in a rural environment is dangerous. All kinds of birds of prey can hurt or kill them, and often do. Letting your cat out means you don't care about it, tbh.
>>412367Obviously the owner didn't care enough to not let what is essentially a child out, in a high risk area. If it was an accident, ok, but regularly letting a cat out when there are shittons of predators means you are a shit owner, sorry, and the cat deserves better. The cat deserves someone that will actually put its safety and best interest into action.
No. 412374
>>412372>>412372You do realise a lot of people live outside of America and don't have your same ideas about pets, right? In my country it's perfectly normal and considered
abusive to keep outdoor-cats indoors.
In fact, in our contract from the shelter where we got our outdoor cats, it actually states we are obligated to let the cats outside when they're adjusted to the area.
>Obviously the owner didn't care enough to not let what is essentially a child out>comparing an independant predator animal to a helpless snot-monster>letting cat have freedom = not caringcats aren't the same as dogs you know
The OP also stated she put a collar on her wich is really annoying for cats who aren't used to it. In fact, it's a safety hazard if she gets stuck somewhere. Guess the OP doesn't care about the cat at all, right?
Still, let's not forget that she stole someone else's cat without even knowing their living situation or anything about them at all.
No. 412375
>>412374>In my country it's perfectly normal and considered abusive to keep outdoor-cats indoors.Lol, ok. Most people in my country believe it's okay to keep cats outside. Our professionals and experts don't, however. Unless your pet industry is lined to the brim with weird shills, who, for some reason, want cats outside, I can almost guarantee they'd agree that it's best for cats to be inside, but mentally stimulated, given affection, etc.
>>comparing an independant predator animal to a helpless snot-monster>letting cat have freedom = not caringcats aren't the same as dogs you know
I don't like dogs, but I never compared them to dogs. However, as intelligent as cats are, indoor/outdoor cats are socialized and can easily become prey to humans. And again, as intelligent as cats are, they don't know what the fuck a car or an 18 wheeler is. They're clever animals but they're not deathproof. Just admit you're a negligent cat parent defending a negligent pet practice and go, anon.
>The OP also stated she put a collar on her wich is really annoying for cats who aren't used to it. In fact, it's a safety hazard if she gets stuck somewhere. Guess the OP doesn't care about the cat at all, right?Most people who aren't retarded buy the VERY WIDELY AVAILABLE "safety collars" for cats. If you were a decent cat owner, you'd know that. A cat that isn't used to a collar isn't going to die from not being used to it.
No. 412379
>>412375>>412375>Our professionals and experts don't, however. Again, you assume that because it's this way in the usa, it's like this for every country. Typical Amerifag thinking they're always right and their ideals are standard for everyone.
>Just admit you're a negligent cat parent defending a negligent pet practice and go, anon.>If you were a decent cat owner, you'd know that.Go fuck yourself, I'm a great owner and I treat my cats like royalty.
Every time we keep them inside for a coming storm or something they constantly whine at the door to be let outside, they love being outside and it makes them a lot less nervous than being trapped indoors.
And why do you assume I don't know about safety collars? They're still just as annoying for your cat but I guess you only care about keeping them locked up with a pretty collar as a toy.
No. 412383
>>412379>they constantly whine at the door to be let outsideMan, this. It makes me wonder if the anon arguing against outdoor cats has ever actually had one or is just talking about cat safety in theory. We had every intention of keeping out cats indoors when we got them, but they are RELENTLESS in their pursuit of getting outside. They would do literally nothing but sit at the door trying to escape, they clearly love being outside as much as possible.
I'd rather my cats live a potentially shorter but happy life than a long, miserable life trapped indoors. Considering I live on a quiet suburban street and they don't leave the garden that I've noticed, I'm willing to take the risk to let them enjoy themselves.
No. 412385
>>412379>Again, you assume that because it's this way in the usa, it's like this for every country. Typical Amerifag thinking they're always right and their ideals are standard for everyone.I didn't say that. I was explaining that people popularly accept that letting cats out is ok in America, but professionals don't. If you refuse to accept that there are sadistic people in the world that can harm your pet, who is unattended for numerous hours, or you can't be fucked to care about their safety enough to want to limit their exposure to potentially cruel and harmful people, there's just straight up no denying that you're a shit owner. Sorry. Not the shittiest owner, but a bad owner nevertheless. Cats going outside isn't about their ability to feed themselves, but that they're no match to all kinds of predators and disease.
>Every time we keep them inside for a coming storm or something they constantly whine at the door to be let outside, they love being outside and it makes them a lot less nervous than being trapped indoors.Ok? And? Toddlers whine and cry if they can't lick restaurant tables. Are we going to let them do that too? You're supposed to advocate for the animal and choose for them based on the fact that you're privy to fucktons more information about the world and what can harm them. Most people don't get their cats vaccinated for FIV, and it's an uncertain vaccine anyways, so I'm really glad you're this adamant about potentially exposing cats to lifelong, incurable diseases or a cruel, cold, painful death or suffering. Feel free to dig up the information from your shelter about how it's TOTALLY obligated to keep them outside, btw.
>And why do you assume I don't know about safety collars? They're still just as annoying for your cat but I guess you only care about keeping them locked up with a pretty collar as a toy.Because your last post was retarded as fuck and said this:
>The OP also stated she put a collar on her wich is really annoying for cats who aren't used to it. In fact, it's a safety hazard if she gets stuck somewhere. Guess the OP doesn't care about the cat at all, right?No acknowledgement of safety collars, the possibility that OP put a safety collar on the cat, etc. You just straight up said collars are safety hazards, with no recognition of safety collars, or the fact that most popular collars you can buy at the store are safety collars now, or that most responsible pet parents buy them.
>>412383> It makes me wonder if the anon arguing against outdoor cats has ever actually had one or is just talking about cat safety in theory. I have 5 currently who were all stray rescues and have had literally countless throughout my life that transitioned to indoor pretty seamlessly.
No. 412386
>>412385>Toddlers whine and cry if they can't lick restaurant tables. The temporary whims of a toddler that are forgotten about in half a second are not equivalent to the literal biological imperative animals have to be in their natural environment and behave in a natural way.
If being indoors is unnatural and unpleasant for cats, but they aren't safe outdoors, how is it even ethical to have a pet cat at all? Our cats probably aren't safe, yours probably aren't happy because how the fuck would an animal be anything but miserable indoors all the time We're all stuck between a rock and a hard place here if we have pets, be more reasonable.
No. 412391
>>412385>or you can't be fucked to care about their safety enough to want to limit their exposure to potentially cruel and harmful peoplesince you like to compare cats to children.
So you would keep your child locked up indoors too? Not send it to school? You're from America so I'm sure you're aware of school shooters, best not to send your kids to school because of those potentionally cruel and harmful people.
>Not the shittiest owner, but a bad owner nevertheless.again, fuck you
>No acknowledgement of safety collars,>not covering every single detail means you don't know about it and makes you a shitty ownerlol, whatever sweaty
>or that most responsible pet parents buy them. you assume OP is a responsible pet parent. I wouldn't call a thief/kidnapper responsible
>>412386>The temporary whims of a toddler that are forgotten about in half a second are not equivalent to the literal biological imperative animals have to be in their natural environment and behave in a natural way. this.
Either way, people obviously have different opinions on keeping cats inside or letting them go outside but that doesn't mean OP should steal someone else's cat just because she disagrees with their view on that matter.
In this story, OP is the cruel and harmful person people with outdoor-cats should be afraid of.
No. 412393
File: 1558341880421.jpg (94.58 KB, 421x834, 1474308660706.jpg)
the amount of people in this thread chalking up letting a cat run free outside where it's supposed to be as animal abuse
OP give the cat you stole back and anons let your cats outside you fucking freaks
No. 412403
>>412401>You can't read for shit, anon. Literally no one said not letting a cat outside is animal abuse>>412395>What you're experiencing isn't rooted in realityLOL
see
>>410651>the original owner is also an asshole for letting their cat outside>>410668>the original owner is also an asshole for letting their cat outside>>410686>Never letting my baby outside, the risk is way too high
>Domesticated animals should be kept indoors for their own benefit unless they are supervised
>If you let your cat outdoors unsupervised, you consent to it being attacked by a dog, attacked by other cats, run over by a car, taken by a psycho and killed/tortured, poisoned by neighbors>>410706>the owner of that cat was also a dick who clearly didn’t care if their cat got hurt or diedthis is 1/4 of the way down the thread, the thread is riddled with posts by freaks that ironically think it's abuse to let a cat outside when it's the total opposite.
No. 412405
File: 1558343325497.png (650.53 KB, 599x600, Screen Shot 2016-08-06 at 09.0…)
>>412404except that every single one did…? How does it to feel so wrong and so dumb anon
No. 412416
>>412413If you live in a place where it would be cruel to let your cat outdoors then you're a complete shitstain for having a cat at all.
>both will drastically decrease your pets life span. you also open the door for ticks, fleas or your cat simply ingesting something poisonousthat is literally just life anon, exposing a cat to the 'threats' of reality is infinitely less cruel then confining it to a long and boring life in a domestic prison.
No. 412417
>>412416>If you live in a place where it would be cruel to let your cat outdoors then you're a complete shitstain for having a cat at all.Please read about cats in rural areas getting torn to shreds by hawks.
>exposing a cat to the 'threats' of reality is infinitely less cruel then confining it to a long and boring life in a domestic prison.Wow, you're so right. Cats bleeding out after being hit in the stomach with a crossbow, dying of rat poison in poisoned food, being killed by a psycho, being ravaged by disease, dying with its head split open or bleeding out slowly after being clipped by a sedan, etc, is all totally much better than living indoors. Do you people even own cats? My cats are happy as fuck and don't try to leave and they were outdoor cats when I got them. They will only stand under my awning, at best. Just because some people aren't dedicated to providing a healthy, exciting indoor environment for their cats doesn't mean all cats are miserable inside. More stale excuses to be lazy and negligent at your cats expense.
No. 412419
>>412417hilarious and ironic how melodramatic you're being in order to deflect from the fact that you don't let your cats outside which is just about the most
abusive thing you can do.
>My cats are happy as fuck and don't try to leave and they were outdoor cats when I got them. They will only stand under my awning, at best.don't believe you for a second. If you don't ever lets your pets outdoors then they are naturally going to be timid and cautious about going outdoors.
No. 412444
>>412426It’s absolutely a catfag thing because no other animal owners froth at the mouth at the idea of not letting their animal roam
It’s like those weird fucking dogfags that get way too emotionally attached to their dogs balls
No. 412451
>>412445too fucking true in my experience as well. my brother wouldn't let my mother desex her small dog, he still pisses all over everything/anything left within his reach, to the point where the floating wood floors in her house had to be removed because of water/piss damage. house reeks, furniture ruined. all because of some imaginary masculinity the owner enforces on a helpless animal. weirdest flex ever and drives me insane.
reminds me of fathers of sons re: the circumcision thing, like "nah cut his dick, he's my boy he's gotta be like me. I'm his dad. A dad. he's my BOY". men are insane.
No. 412471
>>412419NTA anon but youre a fucking idiot. How is listing the things that can and often do go wrong when you let you cat outside "melodramatic", but calling someone
abusive foe not taking these tisks isn't? Every authority on domesricated cats is in agreement that cats absolutely don't need to roam outside to have a high quality of life and it is a horrible idea to let them out. Please just Google it and you will see that every fucking resource will tell you this.
This is another reason I can't stand people who let them outside, it outs you as having never looked into how to actually properly care for a cat. You're just making these decisions that can easily end with your cat dying and calling those who don't "
abusive" when this is just cat care 101. Hell, some shelters even ask you if you plan on letting a cat outside and won't let you adopt if you do. But I guess those shelters just want you to abuse your cats, right?
No. 412477
>>412412Explain how this statement is inaccurate? These are the risks of letting a cat outdoors and if you decide to let your cat out, you are indeed taking them. Ironic hiw you call people who keep their cats inside
abusive, but refuse to accept or acknowledge the downsides of outdoor cats.
No. 412500
>>412486A hawk tried to carry my dog away right in front of my eyes in my suburban backyard and my aunt who lives rurally caught a mountain lion climbing into her yard and giving her dog the "I'm about to kill you" stare. Predators WILL come into your yard. That's one of the reasons why when cats disappear they haven't ran away–if they don't come back very soon, they're not lost; they got killed.
Just saw some idiot on Youtube the other day "avenge" his outdoor cat that got killed by a coyote by going and killing the coyote, as if it wasn't his fault for having an outdoor cat in obvious coyote territory.
No. 412504
>>412471our local shelter has most cats listed as 'requires outdoor access'. If you don't have a garden to let the cat use they won;t let you adopt.
it's common sense either way. My cat has access to a back garden that is part of a long line of back gardens, he also likes to come to the front garden but he won't go past the gate. so although we live on a very busy road in London he's made it to 14. with a cat with a less cautious character or with a different garden setup I would think again re fences, etc. but when we had to keep him indoors cos he had a pulled muscle and the vet didn't want him climbing outside, we locked the catflap, he basically destroyed it, destroyed every barrier we put up - he was just not going to be kept indoors. for him, it would have been cruel. for other cats, they can be happy inside.
tl:dr it depends on both your cat's character and the safety of your own particular area, there is no absolute right or wrong
No. 412530
File: 1558364493938.gif (2.8 MB, 289x393, 1427739658578.gif)
It's priceless that you retards have convinced yourselves that anything other than keeping your cat cooped up is tantamount to abuse because you can what? …make a list of the possible misfortunes it could come by, which can obviously be endless.
Meanwhile, you, the actual abuser of an animal, live and eat in the same space as the box it shits in, where you allow it to walk its fecal matter up and down your kitchen counter tops and bedding while it goes insane.
>>410712>So you would rather live 90 years completely miserable in prison than 50 years free?this.
>>412522>No one uses cats for pest control anymoreso disconnected from reality, but then again so is anyone who thinks it's normal to treat a cat like a goldfish.
No. 412536
>>412530Why don’t you guys just create spaces for your cats in your gardens so that they’re still safe. I don’t understand, are you guys taking ‘indoor’ cat literally as never ever being allowed outside? Every time I hear the term indoor cat used it has meant that they are not allowed to roam outside of the property.
As for pest control cats don’t differentiate between common vermin and endangered species.
No. 412657
>>412530>Meanwhile, you, the actual abuser of an animal, live and eat in the same space as the box it shits in, where you allow it to walk its fecal matter up and down your kitchen counter tops and bedding while it goes insane. Ah, so you ignore all the reasons not to let your cat outside because you think living with a cat is gross. Cool. Thanks for confirming what several anons have said about the motivations of outdoor cat people often being incredibly selfish.
>>412539Yeah, this anon calling it
abusive not to let your cat outside is so delusional I question if she's trolling.
No. 412690
File: 1558391528943.jpg (156.93 KB, 600x600, P227937.jpg)
>>412416>If you live in a place where it would be cruel to let your cat outdoors then you're a complete shitstain for having a cat at all.Yes, it would've totally been better for my cat to stay in a fucking cage at the shelter. I live in a country where people
literally put cats in cages when they're not at home, you'll not make me feel guilty about not letting my cat enjoy the greatness of the concrete jungle.
Pic related, it's the kind of cage my cat was in at the shelter. No place to hide, lots of noises and smells around her. We thought she was terribly shy at first because she was just so scared. She's a cuddle ball now.
No. 412801
>>412799>>412799How funny I had to sign an agreement that I would let them outside.
Would you look at that, different opinions…. Give back the cat, OP you bitch!
No. 412823
>>412806>>412806Are you kidding? You assume my vet is lying but
>>412799 isn't because it just happens to be convenient for your point of view? You just lost all credibility….
Besides most docters here aren't like corrupted American docters. When the operation on my rat failed (she was already 2.5 years wich is very old for a rat) she refused to accept my payment but yeah, she's in it for the money lol.
No. 412831
>>412713mate I don't put my cat in a cage, that's what she was in when I got her. My cat runs around everywhere inside our house.
>>412801I too had to sign a paper saying that I won't let my cat outside. It's a matter of opinion and life circumstances.
Can we rename this thread?
No. 412832
>>412831>>412831> It's a matter of opinion and life circumstances.I do agree with this.
My cats are allowed outside because our environment is not dangerous to them (few cars, no other predators) but my friend who lives in an apartment in the city keeps his cat inside wich is logical to me.
No. 412837
>>412832This. My friend has a 20 year old farm cat fit as a fiddle. My other friend has a young cat that's an apartment cat in the city doesn't go out. My cat that lived until 16 was a stray that still wanted access to outdoors, as she aged she was more reluctant to go out. She got cancer tho and looking into it there were a lot of dangers lurking in the kitchen for my cat too. My mum and I also weren't educated about certain cleaning products being carcinogenic which I feel guilty about now, like my mum would clean up hair balls with detol and my cat would always inspect it afterwards etc.
OP sounds like a dick and knowingly took someones pet that was conditioned well enough for her to take on a low maintenance pet since it has a good temperament. I'm sure the cats previous owners misses it since they're actively trying to get their cat back. Yea you probably have taught them the lesson to be more careful since some cunt has stolen her pet
No. 412859
>>412831>It's a matter of opinion and life circumstances.Agreed. Saying that all cats must be kept indoors is insane without understanding the conditions of where they live.
I live in the countryside and here it's normal for cats to be outdoors. There's a lot of semi feral cats that are kept on farms to hunt mice and rats. Terriers are also used for the same purpose. There's no natural predators here and very little traffic so it's safe.
It should be up to the owner to make the correct choice. While there's always going to be a few that are irresponsible, the majority of cat owners love their pets and will do what's right for them.
No. 413012
>>413003It is insane, you retard. Nevermind the obvious worry about disease or harm from humans or animals, but even if you have enough space, in the US, animal control kills countless outdoor cats every year. 70% of pets, once handed over to animal control, end up being euthanized, regardless of whether or not they have owners, regardless of whether or not their owners can be reached. Their microchips VERY infrequently are even scanned. People call animal control because outdoor cats are "nuisances" and your "outdoor cat" ends up in AC and they legally own your cat if it's not picked up by the end of the holding period, which is only a few days. You no longer own your cat and have no ability to save it, dumbfuck.
Serious dangers don't just go away because you want to pretend they don't exist because you're fucking lazy.
No. 413013
File: 1558471797647.png (143.23 KB, 423x599, Yuu.png)
>>413012I'm sorry you live in a feline-orwellian themed dystopia where trucks patrol the streets looking to kill cats
No. 413030
>>413012>People call animal control because outdoor cats are "nuisances" and your "outdoor cat" ends up in ACWtf is all of America like this or do you just live in a specific shithole locale
Do you people just not have catflaps at all?
No. 413038
>>413030I live in an expensive area. People literally are calling animal control here over cat prints left on their cabin cruisers. Most of America is like this. Idk why you guys are acting though, like cats aren't mistreated by people in other countries. Cats are seen as pests. Australia is dumping loads of poisoned sausages in an attempt to kill 2 million "feral" cats that they say are otherwise shot or poisoned by civilians that say they're pests. The problem with "outdoor" cats is that stupid people and poisoned sausage don't discriminate and any cat that is unaccounted for can end up a
victim of "pest" removal or extermination intended for "feral" cats, but I commonly see strays considered feral, which is sad, too.
No. 413051
>>413050>Cabin cruisers are like mini yachts for upper middle class peoplewhoops sorry i didnt know that lol
im glad i lived in a rural area where most people had outdoor cats when i had one. although we did kind of need them because there were so many giant rats and the cats kept their population down.
No. 413146
>>413038>Idk why you guys are acting though, like cats aren't mistreated by people in other countries.Sorry you live in such a shithole country that you cant imagine it otherwise.
Nope, cats aren't mistreated here. Everyone knows most cats running around are someone's pet especially the non-shy ones. People allow their children to play with random cats on the street and explain to them why they can't just take the cat home. There are even people without cats who put food outside. Most people in my country generally love cats and it's the go-to pet for most.
Stray cats are being picked off the streets by the shelters and taken care of (vaccinated, sterilised).
Even for feral cats there's a future. People with bigger land or farms usually get some feral cats to catch mice and so that they still have a home. They never come inside or let themselves be petted but at least they have a place to eat and sleep.
No. 413223
File: 1558524060291.jpg (35.48 KB, 602x379, 1541218759813.jpg)
6 days arguing over a fucking cat
No. 413253
>>413180There was an outdoor cat that hung around my backyard for almost two years, and I knew the owner and would message her with updates if anything would happen. He was the sweetest cat but he had a sinus issue and left snot all over my patio, he would attack my elderly dog when we would take him out, and he would consistently come back with bad scratches from fights or would even be limping. Every time I would message the owner she would say "I'll look into it" or when I'd tell her about my dog getting hurt "My cat would never attack another dog, he gets along great with my dogs!!" And nothing would ever change, eventually he got skinnier and skinnier and died to feline aids.
I'm not saying that it is right to take someone's outdoor cat, but I can very much understand why OP would. Watching this poor guy waste away right in front of me and not being able to do anything about it was devastating.
No. 413257
>>413253That makes me so mad, it's just basic pet facts that an animal might get a long with another animal they cohabitate with, but not unfamiliar ones. The fact they won't accept that it's hurting your dog is so shitty of them. That's the other thing that's annoying about outdoor cats, it's not just about the owner and their cat, but it's often a nuisence to everyone else. I was attacked by an outdoor cat when I was little and tried to pet it. It was definitely someone's pet and not a stray because it had a collar. It didn't even try to walk away, just immediately scratched the shit out of my arm when I reached for it.
My parents have a neighbor whose cat would come into our yard all the time and fuck up their plants. The owners of the cat personally witnessed my parents' two large dogs almost kill it one day and my parents straight up told them that these dogs see a cat as no different from raccoons, skunks or any other unknown creature that wanders into the yard and they will attack. The owners basically told my parents to control their animals better.
Like no bitch, that's not how it works. They don't go after cats unless they wander onto the property, which is basically where a dog owner's responsibility ends. Now that you're aware your next door neighbor's dogs will tear your cat to shreds if it goes in their yard, it's on you if it happens.
No. 413522
File: 1558597313825.jpg (709.01 KB, 1920x1080, today-on-shit-that-never-happe…)
>>413332>>413367Nice roleplaying
No. 462351
File: 1568491805682.png (503.45 KB, 493x512, Screen Shot 2019-09-14 at 9.03…)
Am i the asshole for trying to bait my "friend" into not taking her stuff back from me?
At the beginning of the year, I thought I made a new friend. We were the same major and seemed to have a lot in common. I was pretty excited to meet her, but our friendship never panned out and she ignored my requests to hang out.
Then, in the middle of exam week, she expects that I can pick up her belongings for her and store them over the summer because my family lives near campus and she is a Chinese international student. It goes without being said that she is rich and could afford to pay for her own storage. I figure I could do her a favor and arrange for my parents to pick up for the items.
Then at the end of the summer, my parents are wondering what to do with her stuff. After repeatedly messaging her, it turns out she isn't coming back for the semester or perhaps ever, and didn't bother to let us know. I guess she was expecting for us to hold her stuff forever? However, in true Chinese international student fashion, she apologizes by giving us some luxury brand name items. I do admit, they make up for the cost of holding her items.
But idk, she is sooo annoying. She posted this on fb, and I want to tell her off how hypocritical she is for spending thousands of dollars on a brand name education and having luxury items is doing fuck all. She is the kind of person who wants to be an academic and fuck around while not accomplishing shit. She doesn't even like America or Americans so I have no idea why she is getting her education here.
Also, I hope that she gets so mad at me that she doesn't bother asking for her stuff back. Fuck that shit.
No. 462355
>>462354My thoughts exactly! And of course it's coming from a privileged rich person who doesn't do shit too.
>>462351Just sell her shit anon, you owe her nothing.
No. 462357
>>462351Here's some other dumb shit about my friend:
>Claims to be feminist and constantly complaining about sexism in class. But when a professor was put on leave because of accusations of harassing grad students she got upset. I guess you always believe the accuser unless you like the accused.>Claims to hate capitalism as a Chinese person, yet she somehow missed all of the terrible things communism did in China. She also misses the fact that almost nobody in China could afford to pay $200k for their kid's education until relatively recently. She reeks of being a champagne socialist who would never give up her cushy lifestyle. She claims to be not that rich, but after not bothering to negotiate a price on holding her shit, I doubt it.>>462355lol you are encouraging me
No. 472648
File: 1571092513269.jpg (160.2 KB, 1200x1465, 8fa.jpg)
>>472636You are not the asshole, i can empathize as someone who had to live to the communist holocaust of my country, also, those people are not anti racist, they have an inverse "white mans burden" complex where they feel pocs are little snowflakes that, as dumb weaklings ,need an enlightened leftist white person to protect them from other superior but racist white men. You should see how they react when people from my country tell them communism is bullshit and that they don't know shit, they go full fledged racist in a millisecond and start spouting every stereotype and racially insensitive comment in the book to discredit us. We call it "commiesplaning"
If he is autist and communist theres also a high chance he will troon out. Any minute now.
No. 472650
File: 1571092543155.png (167.72 KB, 680x672, lolcow.png)
>>472636You're both sides of the same coin
No. 472674
>>472636"I'm offended by communists now I found out they did something bad to my family" kek. I can't imagine functioning on a level of "I'll only give it attention if it has oppressed me in some way historically."
Landlords are complete scum though. Honestly you both just sound like crazy SJWs bouncing off each other because there's nothing new to attack lately.
No. 472679
Here's some other stuff that happened on the bus:
>We talk about travelers (gypsies) with our host. Our host says that travelers tend to be pretty scummy. Autistic guy says, "As an anthropologist I can appreciate the culture of indigenous people." He is an anthro undergrad so he sounds so pompous. I think he thinks on the inside the travelers are so misunderstood, though as an autist he would probably be scammed by them.
>The bus driver has to take a break due to labor laws. Autistic guy tells the bus driver how it's so great that labor laws here are better than the US. The bus driver then replies that she thinks the laws get in the way of her work.Honestly I think it's hard to be around autistic people. They consistently seem inconsiderate and pretentious.
>>472650How so?
>>472661This guy is obsessed with race relations and that kind of crap. I guess it's bad that I lied and kind of bullied him but I think he and his kind encourages that kind of mindset.
>>472674kek I guess I sound like an SJW but I didn't believe what I told him. I was just trying to make him feel bad.
No. 472697
>>472680Nayrt but landlords did something bad to everyone's family.
OP was right to shut down the political guy but most landlords are exploitative parasites.
No. 472707
File: 1571100525928.png (20.78 KB, 700x700, actually.png)
>>472697
>Nayrt but landlords did something bad to everyone's family.OP was right to shut down the political guy but most landlords are exploitative parasites.
No. 472884
>>472679>Honestly I think it's hard to be around autistic people. They consistently seem inconsiderate and pretentious. That's what I meant about mollycoddling. It's not that they don't care. They just rarely, if ever notice. Keep hammering it into them what is or isn't polite or they'll never pick up patterns.
>"As an anthropologist I can appreciate the culture of indigenous people."Except not the culture of indigenous Europeans to shit on travelers, lol.
>>472707>>472697Enjoy living in a world where landlords don't exist, where renting is not an option. Providing low commitment housing to often scummy people that would rip them off and destroy property in a heartbeat is a crazy risky venture. They walk as close to bankruptcy as everybody else.
No. 472899
>>472680landlords are 9/10 exploitative trash. I'm sure it's killing you that you want to be opressed so damn bad but it turns out a throwaway comment yu made about your parasite family puts you in the oppressor role under socialism lmaooo
>>472884imagine being this stupid you don't realize not all countries function like America. There's ways to keep landlords in check without eradicating them, slow-anon.
No. 472918
>>472899Someone unearthed an entire site for landlords where they'd discuss ways to exploit their tenants and suck as much profit out of them as possible. I wish I could find the posts and the screencaps of it, it was fucked.
>>472680>or are you on the level of shitting on people on issues that do not affect you and don't concern you.NTA, but
>what is empathy No. 472938
>>472911There's a UK TV show called 'nightmare tenants slum landlords' with lots of episodes up on youtube. Shows the two sides of the coin there
Landlords overcrowding (and overcharging for) dangerous properties with fire risks etc
Then tenants who never pay a penny of rent and essentially squat in properties for years while the landlord tries to take the legal route to evict. They often lose tens of thousands as it drags on for a couple years with them never getting the money they're owed. When they finally evict the tenants they then find the house trashed in retaliation?? In the UK at least the eviction process is stupidly drawn out
No. 472956
>>472899>yu made about your parasite family puts you in the oppressor role under socialism lmaoooMy family lost everything thanks to communist scum, you try having all your life's work stolen by a party thief with a badge and see how you like it, then tell me who are the real parasite.
You save your money and make your investments, rather than looking for ways to mooch and steal the work of from others who already did. The worst thing i can wish to a communist is for them to live under communism.
No. 473031
>>472956I typed up a whole angry post replying about MY historical trauma but then realized it was caused by socialists too lmao
also my dad was a landlord but he was really nice to who he rented to and specifically worked in low income neighborhoods fixing things up so I think he's safe from the guillotine
No. 473196
>>472884> Keep hammering it into them what is or isn't polite or they'll never pick up patterns.I'm wondering why actual autistic people are this way. Why do they need to be told repeatedly what to do?
>Except not the culture of indigenous Europeans to shit on travelers, lol.But evil white people can't be indigenous!!! lol
>>472956This guy isn't even poor. His mom is a nurse practitioner in NYC. He would be fucked in various ways if communists ever came to power. I guess autists have simplistic thinking. I've been trying to get more information if his mindset is caused by his disability but I'm not sure.
>>473031>also my dad was a landlord but he was really nice to who he rented to and specifically worked in low income neighborhoods fixing things up so I think he's safe from the guillotinelmao are you serious. There is no guillotine, and if there were to be, people don't actually give a shit about that.
No. 473225
>>472636The simplest explanation is that normal people have brains where there's plenty of connections between both lobes, whereas autistics have brains where there's plenty of connections within each lobe, but far fewer connecting them.
The former configuration helps people think incredibly quickly and intuitively when it comes to complex tasks like social interaction. The latter configuration means that every little detail needs to be slowly and methodically thought through in one lobe alone before results are passed along - often at a slower pace than new stimuli comes in.
Though potentially this has a lot of advantages too, as I know for example, the Israeli army will deliberately scout out high functioning autistics to be trained for top secret intelligence divisions.
https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2016/01/israeli-army-autism/422850/tldr; What's simple to you can be challenging to them, and what's challenging for you might be simple to them. Ultimately though, it's still on him if he doesn't so much as try to behave as a normal person.
No. 473338
>>473299lol left wingers hate liberals like us. But thanks for the reinforcement
>>473225I see. However, I think the idea that autists are all savants is a myth. There are a couple that are exceptionally good at coding and such. But there are also a lot that are of average or below average intelligence. A lot are drooling retards that are violent.
I really hate how a lot of autists view themselves as having superior intellect to everyone else. But these people don't have what it takes to do hard work to succeed.
>>tldr; What's simple to you can be challenging to them, and what's challenging for you might be simple to them.I don't think this guy has any special mental capability. I guess he knows a lot of stuff, but I don't think he knows particularly more than me. I know for a fact he's not good at math. Maybe he's good at what he studies in uni but I would have to know about grades.
No. 473345
>>473338the autist I work with is good at knowing dinosaur and vidya facts and that's where his savantism ends kek. if you try to engage in any sort of abstract convo about those same dinosaurs for example where he'd need to make up shit on his own, he really struggles/just makes aggalmations of things kinda like chris and sonichu. he's high functioning I guess as he went to normal school and can drive, but he's very slow to do anything (almost robotic, even in his gait) and makes weird speech constructs despite being a native speaker, also has a very naive/shallow view of most things. basically, he's like a smart 12 year old but def a 12 year old you know?
another one is closer to savant bracket as he goes to uni for music (then again, so do many non autists so idk fam), but he's far more unbearable socially wrt the aforementioned aspects.
tldr, I think the whole savant thing may be real in rare cases, but generally is a massive cope parents tell themselves and their offspring.
No. 473411
>>473338I don't think the average autist is going around feeling like a savant. I've met a good number of them through work and they've mostly been average intelligence but low in confidence. These were also ones with harmless 'special interests' though (like trains or hoarding beanie babies) I can see how a higher confidence autist will gravitate to a special interest like politics instead, and spend his days pissing people off
As far as I can tell they simply memorise information on one subject and repeat it
No. 473851
>>472636>I have the strong feeling he wouldn't get a pass for his disability if he was religious or a Trump supporterI worked with someone who was basically that. Strap yourselves in cause this gon' be a ride.
So at the gas station I worked at, a coworker I had was really loud and obnoxious. Avid Trump supporter. He would get REALLY worked up over certain things in the media, like people complaining that women's soccer players got paid less than male ones. He would list all of the reasons it was bullshit and kept ranting and would even bring it up to customers (when we were explicitly told not to talk about politics/religion to customers). He would get worked up over things like this on a regular basis and always sperg out about them. He would make me watch sh0eonhead and PJW videos too, like he would just turn on his phone and put it in front of my face, not even ask me if I wanted to watch it or anything.
He was also racist af towards black people, and would talk about false crime statistics like "black ppl commit 80% of the crime but are only 30% of the population" and had a bunch of other opinions about black people's conflict with cops that I don't even want to repeat (and I never even asked him for any of this, he would just dump it on me).
Another time he told me about how he would watch videos of people dying on r/watchpeopledie because it was "the best way to feel emotion" or something. He would also say sexual things, like he would whinge about how much he wanted an Asian gf (in his words: a hot, short, Asian weeb gf). And then he got circumcised and told me he couldn't jerk off because it made his dick bleed, and another time told me about the burning diarrhea he got from the chicken he ate. One time this customer said something about her husband, then when she was gone he said "it's hard to believe that hawkish looking creature has a husband". And he couldn't figure out why he couldn't get a gf.
He would also yell at me to do things like "CHANgE THE TRASH!!!!!" as if I was a slave (which he called me once).
And this guy wasn't even diagnosed as autistic, that I know of, but I believe he was. You're not the asshole anon, and I really hate how much society has been glorifying autism lately and encouraging us to coddle aspies as if they're special snowflakes uwu meanwhile people with other mental conditions get kicked to the curb as weirdos. There's a whole community of autists on YT who just compare themselves to Einstein, Sherlock Holmes and Sheldon Cooper (as if being like Sheldon Cooper is somehow a good thing) and one channel called "the aspie world" actually called his autism a superpower, when in reality most autists have below average IQ. YT autists also say things that relate to a lot of people but they act like it only effects autistic people, like how going out is hard for them because of dealing with lights, noise, and people. I'm not autistic, but I also hate noise, people and lights. I just don't get a free pass for it so I have to deal with it like an adult.
No. 474260
>>473851I've seen it mentioned (quite a few times) on here that autism is being glorified
What is this usually referring to?
I'm a non-US anon and where I live people with autism are generally looked on as maybe low IQ and eccentric but that's about it
No. 474264
>>474260I wouldn't use the term "glorified", but I see both autistic and non-autistic people in the west really exaggerate the positives of autism and downplay the downsides (or use the downsides to present autists as poor
victims).
This is done largely by moms of autistic children who are trying to feel less guilty for having autistic kids (not that they should, but they usually do), coddled autistic males who have Magneto-style delusions of being "the next step of evolution" (not joking here, I've seen autistic men unironically say this online), or undiagnosed tumblr "autists" who are roleplaying to feel special.
The media is also to blame for this, they really overplay the savant autist trope and make people think that's the standard for autists. In reality, around 10% of diagnosed autists are considered to be savants.
This ~quirky superior autist savant~ misinformation actually makes it harder for more "normal" autists, usually women, to be diagnosed.
No. 474297
>become known for planting and growing stuff at work
>I bought a small hydroponic set up and grew lettuce, literally nbd but people were really intrigued by it
>coworker in the same general group asked if I wanted to grow plants
>thought my entire team might be into it because a few others inquired about what we might be growing
>decided to grow a few different types of plants
>it was going really well because we would both baby the germinating seeds and check up on them
>eventually we moved everything to a pot–everyone was really happy with our progress
>but like a month in, I realized I was the only one who watered them
>whenever I was gone for (me and the other coworker taking care of the plants have a split shift where the other works the two days we have off) the plants seemed to shrivel
>damage was worse when I hadn't watered the plants within a day or so of my "weekend"
>eventually I stopped watering them altogether
>they all died/started dying
AITA?
Basically, I stopped watering these plants because I noticed the other person who said she wanted to take care of the plants didn't
admittedly, I called her out on this a few times and she said "haha oh my bad" and I figured that she would start watering more
But she never did
Also, when the plants were just about fully dead, I just took them home because another coworker was upset there were gnats (they were attracted to the fertilizer rather than the dead plants, but nevertheless)
I did leave one plant there, which was the plant she was most excited about, but I still question if I made the wrong move at any point.
The worst thing in my mind is that I didn't pay her back for the soil ($5 - 10$), but I'm okay with that because I ordered the seeds and plant pots
No. 474305
>>474266You're not to blame here. You don't owe your relative anything. Your father
is the parent and he
chose to make you exist without your consent, entirely out of his own will. You cannot owe anything to him, and you shouldn't feel bad about not complying especially if he's a fuckup that cheats and steals.
No. 474308
>>474297Tbh this is why I'm always cautious whenever someone takes notice of my hobbies and 'volunteers' my talents in the workplace.
There was never any intention on behalf of your coworkers to be responsible for the plants, they just wanted the novelty of plants around the office without having to care about them or do any of the work. When you lapsed, they didn't pick up the responsibility. Then it became a nuisance to them when the plants died and lost their novelty.
At my call center job I had this dippy older coworker who knew I loved to cook and decided to keep pestering my volunteer to host a "cooking club" among others. She of course had no intention of planning, budgeting, going to pick ingredients, or teaching people how to cook. She just wanted all the fun parts like saying she was a founder of the club and mixing some ingredients together when the time came.
I turned her down, and told her that just because I cook for myself doesn't mean I'd be good at teaching it-which was a half-truth anyway.
It's a total trap to bilk you for work that they would otherwise have to pay someone else to do.
No. 474317
Okay so I’ve been in the same job for around 3 years, same schedule 9-5, no wiggle room. And it makes me slightly paranoid because I’ve had a stalker in the past who left me with a fat case of ptsd that I still struggle with. I worry that if someone wanted to stalk me, it’d be extremely easy. Most of the time I can shrug off the paranoia, but there’s one element of my job that heightens it. Without giving too much away, I’m required to drive a specific route to get to my job, on the way, I have to stop by and collect something for my boss, every single day. I have to get out of the car, go inside, pick up my bosses order, get back in the car, head off to work. No big deal, except for this guy who I see everyday, at first I thought he was a city worker, because he’s always out at the same time and always wearing the same thing, looks like he’s picking trash or something. But I’m pretty certain now, that he’s just some dude, not really doing anything. Last year he started waving to me, when he spotted my car, but I never wave back, or even make eye contact with this guy. This year, I’ve noticed he’s always hanging around where I have to stop before work, sometimes hes just in the parking lot waiting, and I can’t help but assume he’s waiting for me. I never, ever acknowledge this fucker, because by this point it scares me to think what’s going through his head. Well a few months ago, he was in the parking lot and I watched him approach this other girl I see every day, too, I didn’t hear what he said to her, but she said nothing and just got in her car and took off. He kind of turned and started walking over to me, so I made a beeline for the store and made a point to socialize with the employees for much longer than normal, and waited for him to leave, which he normally does once I show up. Right so that was fucking weird, the lady he spoke to, the one that pretty much bolted, didn’t show up for the next week or so, and I had to, but carried the only knife I have in my purse, this impractical fat thing that doesn’t fit in my pockets. I don’t know. The odds of him raping or murdering me are slim but I get this really fucking oily, sick feeling in my gut when I see him. Especially after today. So the next few months pass, he’s still lurking in the parking lot, acting kind of strange, one time I think he fucking was dancing? I don’t know. Another time he yelled at me from across the parking lot as I was getting in my car, said something like “I see you everyday” and started jogging toward me and I noped the fuck out, even made my male roommate drive me to work the next day so I wouldn’t have to be alone. I now carry mace with me but I’m pretty sure I’d never be able to get to it in time if this guy decided to do something to me. Anyway, today, he’s in the parking lot, in the corner, kind of, again, I don’t even look his direction and park a pretty good distance away. I go into the store, pick up the order, it takes a little longer than normal, so when I get out to the parking lot again, the guy is like right by my car, like feet away. And by this point he has to know I want nothing to do with him right? I’ve got my hands full, kind of fumbling with my stupid keys and trying to get into my car before he can say something or get like uncomfortably close to me, but as I’m getting into my car he’s like arms length away. I felt like he was going to slide into the backseat or grab my arm so I threw myself into the drivers seat in a bit of a fucking panic and locked the doors and booked it out of the parking lot. I was kind of still shaking when I got to work, so I told my boss about it. I’m sure I’ve mentioned the “creepy dude” before, but she looked at me like I was overreacting and didn’t really say much so I don’t know. Maybe I’m the asshole. I just get this weird fucking feeling off this guy and I feel like he keeps pushing his luck, trying to see how much he can get away with. For reference, I’m really small for my age, always have been, this guy could easily pick me up or knock me out or whatever. And I get this feeling, every time something like this happens that o should be very aware and careful, but maybe I’m just fucked up and he’s completely innocent, like I said, I struggle with ptsd so it’s hard to know what’s a real threat and what’s conflated in my mind. Am I the asshole?
No. 474356
>>474317You're constantly giving off ALL of the signals that say "don't talk to me" other than wearing a shirt and holding a giant sign that directly state it
Guys, unfortunately, don't pick up on this stuff as easily–but that's not your fault
You're not an asshole for feeling uncomfortable, common courtesy is nice, but it's not common entitlement. You don't owe him anything and I hope you stay safe just in case there is an issue, but even more so, I hope there's never an issue
I hope you're able to explain yourself in a safe way
No. 474367
>>474236>>474281this is true, but I still believe he was probably on the spectrum. all conversations with him were one-way conversations where he would get really worked up over a subject and talk and talk and talk about it without letting you get a word in, and even when he wasn't worked up about something you still couldn't really have a normal conversation with him. he seemed completely blind to cues too and would say sexually inappropriate things without realizing they were inappropriate which is a common symptom of aspergers.
my ex boyfriend (who knew him too) also believed him to be on the spectrum and my ex knew several other people who were actually diagnosed as being on the spectrum.
but then again, he was a man.
No. 474377
>>474299>>474305Thank you, I just also deep down want him to change his ways though. Highly doubtful he will, he stole money and my own medication from me too(four years ago when I lived with my grandma for a bit). I had to sleep with my medicine underneath my damn pillow(Adderall) because he stole a months worth while I was at work.
My grandma knows all of this and couldn’t understand why I flat out said no. I have my shit together and he can’t even stay clean long enough to hold a job or save money. It’s all messy and I want no part of it, but it shows a lot that she just cut me out like that.
Sorry for sperging out.
No. 474440
>>474317Yeh you're not being paranoid, he's trying to fuck with you, at least mentally. You need to come up with a solution to stop having to interact with him. Talk to the employees at the place, your boss, something. Btw if it came to something physical the knife isn't a good idea, that's the kind of thing that just winds up with them using it against you, you would probably be easily disarmed. Pepper spray is a better bet for self defense.
And this is easier said than done but try not to show any fear of him and be confident.
No. 474444
>>474356Something similar happened to me at uni. I ended up getting stalked horrifically until the professor had to step in and file a report. Dude was eventually expelled but I was told to call the police ifhe followed me to the parking lot.
Don't try to be polite, it isn't worth it. I was polite and it didn't mean a damn thing when he tarted following me after class.
No. 474533
File: 1571495505293.jpg (286.97 KB, 2048x1152, IMG_20191011_023229.jpg)
Am i a bad/toxic friend? A friend broke up with me quite recently and i kept dwelling over it…pls no bully, i just want to know what i did wrong
>she told me that i spent my money recklessly because i wasted it once where i bought a figurine that costed ~60$ for some meme
>critial of s/o art because i dont want to make the same mistake and they were quite a cow in the community
>i didnt want her help once and bother others instead
>told me i was an extremeist
>didnt pull me back because she cant seem to "fix" me
>told me i have high expectation of others and left where they dont meet it
>Originally broke up with me because i was boring, yet when i rant abt it once she lost it and then list them above.
The sad thing is i didnt even see the fault in our friendship and on her, but she saw through mine like she held on to it for so long
No. 474572
>>474317holy shit anon
please trust your gut instincts, there's a book called "the gift of fear" which is constantly recommended to people who are like you/have been in a similar situation. Seriously, you need to trust your instincts with this.
No. 475542
>>472891Yeah, I agree with this. I totally understand politics-fatigue, but I probably sound like this to my coworkers/friends just on the basis of reading keeping up with current events. For me it's just a constant low-grade anxiety of like "
hey you guys are seeing this too, right? this is crazy right?" and the more apathetic people seem the more you feel like you need to talk about it. I assume with autism this impulse is 10-fold. However this is usually only the case when I work with a lot of middle aged white ladies whose only "news" source is shock jock radio in their SUV on the way to work. When I work with people closer to my age they're usually also vibrating with anxiety, so your stress is validated and we don't need to talk about it really. I definitely sympathize with politics not needing to be a part of every single discussion though, it's a very "read the room" instinct which this dude probably doesn't have.
No. 475898
>>410647Autism.
But in a good way, because you will keep that thing mostly inside, I hope.
It gotten to the point that I consider people with pets to be 100% subhuman. I still find them cute on videos just like any other person, but if you own a pet and bother other people with it, kys.
I have this…interesting neighbor. She walks around with pride with her dog. I see her taking out her dog where everyone's garden is, just like most of the subhumans who deserve the rope do here. Aside from the fact there's a huge neat dog park very near, she lets him shit in my garden always, even that one time when I was busy with mowing the grass.
I used to take walks, that was until I saw that same woman every time with her dog unleashed. And he barks and growls really loud at me every time and it gives me a damn headache, he also once licked my foot when it was ruptured, and bumped it with his retarded head really rough, and when I told her that she should walk him on a leash, she said that he doesn't like that and that she can't control a beast.
From that day on I am hungry when I see him. It's sad eating dogs and cats is illegal but eating useful much better animals isn't.
AITA leddit?
>>475613A gun is not legal everywhere anon.
>>474317The common sense to do is to record him 1 week straight and to give this material to the police. Don't post it online though, you want it to leave you alone. Talking with it is useless, you already made it clear and you can't punch that freak.
No. 476023
File: 1571846701308.jpg (82.66 KB, 630x630, 2894524_0.jpg)
>>474317You're not the asshole, but you do seem like the idiot? From what you're saying here it seems like you've had ample resources and time to deal with this problem, but instead are going "
idk guys :////" and not handling anything. As someone who's legally dealt with stalking it's a huge pet peeve of mine when people just go "
omg he's like stalking me!!". Ok? So then do something about it instead of just complaining, it's not going to go away on it's own because people are monsters.
>I now carry mace with me but I’m pretty sure I’d never be able to get to it in timeThen take it out of your purse and have it in your hand as you're walking
>but carried the only knife I have in my purse, this impractical fat thing that doesn’t fit in my pockets.Then get one that does fit in your pockets. Hardware stores usually have a great selection of pocket knives, but you can even find them just at Walmart for <$10. Both of these issues are easily fixed. What's the point of even having these things with you if you don't actually arm yourself with them ahead of time?
I'm not trying to be the asshole here, but you're clearly letting yourself be walked all over in this situation. I'm also someone who's had to get a restraining order and deals with that trauma, but I also keep a knife on my car keys and make sure I carry them in my hands when I'm walking somewhere I feel uncomfortable, even to the point where I'm carrying my keys by the knife for quick unfolding/accessibility. If you've been going to the same place every morning for 3 years, why haven't you asked the employees "
Hey, what's the deal with that guy out there every morning? Do you know him?" or had them walk you to your car? If it's a corporate office building you're going to, they have security guards, have one of them walk you to your car or alert them of the situation. It sounds like your boss is an asshole, but also if you've been doing this for 3 years and are just now half-heartedly bringing it up of course he's gonna think you're overreacting because he doesn't understand the gravity. You need to tell him the full extent of what's been happening and how unsafe you feel, be an advocate for yourself. At the very least say "
Get the fuck away from my car or I will call the police", take pictures/video of him waiting by your car and then call the police either way. When I had to get my restraining order even though I had a mountain of evidence, I could not just take that mountain of evidence and trade it in for a restraining order. I had to make at least one police report ahead of time to show that this was something I had taken action on before. If you stab the guy and just say "
no but he's been like stalking me for 3 years dude trust me" to the police without any proof or previous documentation you're gonna look like the asshole. If you get stabbed/murdered/kidnapped/whatever and the only lead they have to go off of is your room mate and your boss saying "
it was this dude that was in the parking lot but uhhh I don't know his name or face that well or anything about him", that's not super helpful either, because that dude's not gonna be in that parking lot anymore. Take pictures of him. File a police report. Leave a paper trail. Establish with your boss and the employees of this place that this is a concern. For all you know he could be harassing other employees there too. Take it to HR, record yourself making the complaint to your boss if you have to (legally, review the consent laws in your state). Stop being complaisant in your own harassment when you have the tools to fight back.
For what it's worth, when I took my mountain of evidence + my police report to the government worker lady to file it, she was super dismissive and basically said I was overreacting and said stuff like "
I mean my ex-husband does that stuff all the time it's not a big deal lmao calm down" (I had met the guy when I was a teenager but barely knew him or ever spoke to him, an acquaintance of an acquaintance. This happened when I was 20 or so and probably 100lbs and he was almost 40 and had been recently involuntarily hospitalized for schizophrenia) so unfortunately your boss isn't unusual in that regard (again, people: monsters). But when I filed my initial police report and when I pushed through and got to court both the officer and the judge were pretty immediately like "
Yeah for sure 1000% this situation requires a restraining order" (people: occasionally not monsters). I know it's easy to feel like you're overreacting, but think of it this way: I was about to move which would have likely solved my problem but it was important to me to establish a paper trail not just for myself, but for any future women this dude may harass. You're probably not the first or last person he will do this to. If the next woman complains to police and they look at his record and there's a clearly established pattern of harassment, you're helping strengthen her claim and making it that much harder for her to be dismissed as "overreacting", which could possibly save her life. Even if you get away unscathed you don't want to see his face on the news one day having murdered some girl and think "
I could have done something, I should have said something".
No. 476102
>>410647You are not the asshole. Outdoor cats are a stupid idea. When I was a kid we started feeding this cat we thought was stray/abandoned. Beautiful calico long-hair, but declawed and fixed. My mom ran the HOA so she put out a bulletin asking if anyone was missing a cat like that, and bingo, someone from the other side of the neighborhood was. They said she was an "outdoor cat" and that she had 4 or 5 others and gave them all plenty of food and took care of them- clearly not.
That Fall, we noticed she was injured from fighting, so we took care of her cuts, took her to the vet, and got her matted hair chopped off and took her inside. The owner was pissed but never did anything besides general passive aggression about it. We offered to return her if she was kept inside (this was in the dead of a midwest winter) and the neighbor said this was none of our business and all of their cats did fine. We just kept her, as we all had grown quite attached and put significant money into her vet/grooming bills. Some people will actually just adopt cats, declaw them, and let them fend for themselves outside, and not care when they don't see them for days. If they aren't taking care of it, the cat's better off in your care anyway.
No. 476114
>>476093Nope. What could anyone even say?
"How dare you not divulge your marital and family status!"
No. 476468
>>474533not a bad person but a bad friend imo
you sound self centered tbh
No. 476654
>>476643You are not the asshole, anon. That shit is gross. Does he know about you being a csa
victim and being groomed with lolicon?
I'm not a
victim of csa but my ex had a serious porn obsession and was into loli shit too. Whenever I told him it bothered me he would just act like I was trying to make him feel bad/kinkshaming him. I hate that men act like this.
No. 476660
File: 1571979503255.jpg (172.58 KB, 1241x801, IMG_20171120_074119.jpg)
>>476643Good heavens, would you look at the sign!
No. 476679
>>476643Replying to my own post to save replying to a bunch, but I just… he's so good besides this and I KNOW it's because anime has brainwashed him. He went off on me about how it's all fictional none of it matters and then his mindset is most people who sexualize minor characters are just selfinserting aa highschoolers ans just want to be young again and shit and that's SO uncomfortable to me, and he also doesn't understand how aging up a character that's like 15 isn't creepy either.
I really really don't get it all I want is for him to not bring up cartoon child porn and understand my uncomfort. If he did everything would be okay.
No. 476690
>>476679Are you dating my ex? Cos that sounds exactly like him. Perfect in a bunch of ways but obsessed with nasty hentai shit including lolis, said the same things about "self inserting" etc.
Even if he stopped bringing it up, you'd still have to live with the fact that he watches it. Ask yourself if you're really okay with that.
No. 476699
>>476679"It's fine if he watches child porn, I just don't want him to talk about it to me"
>>476693>the problem is your boyfriend being desensitized and cumbrained for not realizing that flaunting your school girl porn in front of your traumatized girlfriend isn't okay.Yeah that's the problem. Not that he watches it in the first place.
No. 476712
>>476705>If you're going to dig through all the stuff people do in private and only cherrypicking those who don't have sick fetishes or do anything else that's dubious (like posting on a gossip board dedicated to stalking people), you're going to be a very lonely personposting on a gossip site is as bad as watching cartoon child porn… alright then.
and no shit, no one's perfect. but there are a lot of "sick fetishes" out there that are not nearly as bad as lolicon. yeah no one's perfect, but there are lines to be drawn. that's like saying dating someone who broke into a car once would be the same as dating someone who committed multiple murders and sexual assaults. you'd have to only ever think in extreme black and white terms to justify to yourself, and judging by your comment it looks like you might think that way.
also I don't care if lolicon is legal, that doesn't make it any better. the problem is that he is sexually turned on by imagery of CHILDREN being portrayed as sexual objects (even if they're ~technically super mature because they're actually hundreds of years old but haven't aged uwu~) and who knows, he might even want to fuck actual children but doesn't want to get arrested. lots of pedos love lolicon. if someone is okay with their s/o watching that then to each their own I guess, but ew.
No. 476716
>>476714she didn't describe cartoon teens though (as if that's leaps and bounds better). she said "people who sexualize minor characters". last time I checked minor could be anyone under 18. also she said she was groomed with lolicon, if what he was watching wasn't in any way lolicon then why would it upset her?
and yeah I'm sure everyone who disagrees with you is a sperg.
No. 477731
File: 1572193115545.gif (467.55 KB, 500x500, source.gif)
AITA if I said no to my moms pancake offering?
We were at brunch together and she asked if I wanted to try her pancakes and I said no because I didnt like pancakes. She said that she felt my anwser was to harsh, she just wanted me to say "no thank you" instead of saying I didn't like pancakes. She then said she felt rejected by when when I said no and that I should say yes because its the kind thing to do. She next said I should feel comfortable around my family because their the people I'm closest to and I should feel safe sharing my emotions with them. She also went how she feels like I'm closed off from her and that Im overly aloof with my family. She finally said that people would think Im weird for saying no to food offerings.
I feel bad because I should know better at this point. My parents offer to do something for me (asking me to try their food or offering to buy something for me) and when I say no they get irritated and go on the rant my mom gave. Like my dad has been pissed of four 3+ hours because I refused to let him pay for a book. I guess I should just suck it up and accept their offers, but doing that's what got me in that problem. If I said I hated pancakes when I'm younger my mom would go on a "cooking takes lot of work and you don't appreciate that" rant so I ate them without complaining. This happened in the rest of my life so I just sucked it up and went with it. So when I tell them I don't like pancakes or other food now they get mad and think Im lying to them to make them angry, which I've dome before, but now they assume anything I do that makes them angry is on purpose.
The way they get so angry over nothing makes me feel like I'm so autist who can't get basic social clues. Am I the asshole?
No. 477778
>>477737Seconding this anon. If this didn’t sound like it is a common occurrence for you, you could brush it off as emotions and people being dumb, but imo they’re guilt tripping you into letting them control you and your emotional reactions. Sounds like a possible cultural issue as well but apologies if it isn’t.
I live with someone like this and they’ve done similar things to me so you’re not alone. For example:
>omg we love you, you’re my granddaughter i would jump in front of a train to protect you uwuAsks for my opinion on something like the landscape in our garden, gets an honest answer (our garden is ugly and we have a big house that needs a better design):
>fuck you bitch!!! You don’t know what you’re talking about!!! I’m an engineer! I have 55+ years of experience and you don’t have shit! Get out of my goddamn house!!! No. 477795
>>477731Nope, but your mom is though. You said you don't like pancakes, which means in the future she won't have to offer them to you again and if she does she shouldn't be disappointed when you say no again when you remind her you don't like pancakes. It's simple!
I don't like sweets, no one offers them to me anymore after I tell them I don't like sweets, so more for them! It's a win-win situation here. I don't get bothered and they can enjoy more.
No. 485448
File: 1574310983922.jpg (294.62 KB, 1280x818, JEWUFqJuRS8.jpg)
>>485440>My teacher showed us a corporate ad>It was a fucking chipotle ad.the absolute state. Soon enough you´ll have your social score lowered for arguing with the corporate woketard posing as an educator
No. 2010106
File: 1716166247132.jpg (59.62 KB, 564x1001, 056d6715932b79634ce211fed60251…)
>be me
>working cash register during heavy traffic hour
>middle-aged woman walks up to check out a bottle of wine
>"do you need to see my ID?"
>"nah no need"
>her face drops
>instantly realize I just implied she's too visibly old for me to even bother
God I have no tact sometimes.
No. 2010817
File: 1716227963169.jpg (67.83 KB, 933x654, Efw5k1DUMAMChKs.jpg)
I'm pretty sure i'm right but i just need confirmation. One of my friend claims she has DID (the tiktok kind, with an harley quinn and loli alter) and i 100% don't believe her, she is so bad at acting and forgets about her DID half of the time. The thing is she told me she suffered horrible abuse when she was young :
>raped by her entire 3rd grade class during a school trip
>sold by her parent to be a sex slave during the holidays
>saw children being tortured and put on fire
>had multiple stalkers
But she still lives with her parents (she doesn't work because she's too lazy) despite them selling her to perverts ? I'm 99% sure she is lying she is just edgy and trying to get pity points but i feel so bad doubting a victim, especially a woman i know, i feel like it just gives credit to the "all women lie about their SA"
No. 2010821
>>2010817nta, she's a pathological liar and desperate for pity points. She may be a
victim of SA but the very first point sounds like tranny levels of fanfiction.
No. 2010851
>>2010821i think she suffered in her childhood but every single story she told me seems too big for me to believe. She told me about the sex cult her parents sold her to when we were at starbucks, even tho she was talking about children being skinned alive and men making her act different characters to turn them on (the alledge cause of her DID)
>>2010827>>2010831she is part of one of my friend group from HS, DID wasn't a thing back then so she never mentionned or faked it at the time, now it's been years and our group is still the same, it would feel weird to exclude her. Most of them claime they experienced some kinf of mental illness (depression, ptsd, schizophrenia, ed…). Tbh it wasn't a thing when we first met or at least not as important, it got worse with the years and now most of them act like edgy teenagers making jokes about missing children and orgy every time we try to play a gartic phone or something. I really liked when we were all going to class together, helping with hw and stuff. Now the DID friend spend most of her time on discord, talking about DID with other "systems" and going out with multiple people (all long distance relationships trhough discord) because it's all different alters
>>2010832like the dude from fire emblem ?
No. 2012250
>>2012233Dude even most nords arent that turbo supra autistic. Honestly even most high functionning autists understand hyperboles and at best doesnt perceive them as intentionally lying.
Something's weird about your boyfriend honestly. Maybe you should try to catch him doing the same thing and call him a liar in return. (that's
toxic)
No. 2012252
>>2012233I think it’s
valid of him to be upset about you wanting to kys, even if you don’t really mean it. Idk instead of viewing him as being mean maybe just reframe to think of him as cute and sweet for not being able to stand the thought of you being hurt even a little?
No. 2012255
>>2012253He’s probably just being kind of retarded and doesn’t know how else to justify it considering
nonnie doesn’t seem to buy the “it scares him” part
No. 2012282
>>2012233Arguing semantics till women can't even express themselves without having to edit first is what controlling men do. And then it's covered up with this it's just because I care about you babe bs.
Maybe he's a tist, maybe he's not. The result is the same.
No. 2012293
>>2012233>>2012259Idk anon I think if he’s not super autistic about other things as well then he’s probably just getting defensive. Your posts honestly sounds like you got annoyed and were just ready to dismiss him instead of listening to what he felt. People fumble and explain themselves badly when they’re in defense mode, they get flustered and hurt feelings because they don’t feel safe talking to you in that moment and end up getting overly blameful. I’m usually one to cry dump him over everything, but I’ve made this mistake myself and working on being more empathetic improved my communication skills with everyone a lot. I don’t think you need to go to him and apologize or anything, just next time you vent try to keep yourself from mentioning self harm and when you have disagreements try to understand his feelings over semantics.
>>2012282This could also be true, though. There’s not enough context to tell, but I think you can figure out for yourself if your bf is manipulative manbaby in general or not. If what this anon says rings true then you should definitely dump.
No. 2012376
>>2012293I'm OP, I only posted the one time. The problem is that he doesn't speak like a human being when I'm emotional, he talks in soulless terms like "your feelings are
valid" or whatever else he got off the internet and it honestly pisses me off even more. He insists on "healthy communication" while sounding like a corporate social media spokesperson and lectures me on how to talk when I'm angry and express myself like an angry person does. The more I tell him to stop, the more he digs his heels in and says we need to change how we communicate (meaning me, ofc). Going online and doing research about it just makes me see even more therapy speak from therapycows on instagram or TikTok, and atp it's making me feel crazy. I don't want to be with walking talking Reddit.
No. 2012517
>>476705Lmfao. My boyfriend doesn't watch porn at all, you know why? Because he respects me. I have been dating him for 3 years, and have been his friend for 6 years. You are delusional if you think your boyfriend consuming porn is a good look for you. Not all moids watches porn. I pity every woman you give advice to, talking about "private sexual fantasies", go fuck yourself. You sound like redditor moids who try to excuse themselves for wanting to brutalize and rape women in bed under the guise of "fantasy.
>>476679You are retarded. I am beginning to think this is bait, because you have had many posters tell you to dump him, and you continue to excuse him. What did you expect with your post? Pity? It's obvious you're not going to do anything about him. You might as well tell him what happened to you doesnt matter, because he gives less than two shits to even respect your wishes about your CSA. My boyfriend doesnt even watch films with sexual violence or whatever because he knows I hate it. There are no complaints from him. I hope you wake up and kick him to the curb.
No. 2022616
aita if I stopped talking to a friend once she got pregnant?
To me kids are a big no, maybe I'm a turbo autist but their screams make me cringe and I can't stand the smell of baby wipes/baby food and I gag at the sight of waste, plus I noticed that once people my age (mid to late 20s) become parents, in my country, all the talk about is kids and partner life.
I am in a long term relationship but I couldn't see myself only talking about my moid and I mostly talk about my own personal interests (some people don't even realize that I'm engaged because I never talk about couple shit) and I feel like that everytime a irl friend of mine gets pregnant, that friend dies in some way. Like I get it, people have to change and grow up, even if I see very childish parents who never actuall matured past 18, but parenthood is not compatible with me. I can't stand talking to the phone with my friend and hearing a child screaming in the background and they suddenly interrumpting our call, I can't stand people flaking on our appointments due to child needs, I can't stand people asking if a place where are going to is stroller/kid friendly and since it's something that I don't like, I usually remove myself from the situation, like I'm not gonna have a meltdown like a schizo would do, but I'll quietly go away and explain that this stuff is not for me and I don't want to deal with it but somehow that makes me the asshole. Not putting myself in stressful situations makes me the asshole. Most women my age, I also feel, don't want to be parents but are forced by family and partners (by pressure or talking them out of abortion) so I don't see the point anyway. A friend of mine once joked about "You're gonna be the cool aunt!" like no tf you're gonna raise that on your own.
I wish there could be actual childfree spaces instead of mild "no kids" spaces where the kids are allowed if they're well behaved like the fuck! They're kids anyway!
This shit to me is so stressfull that when I was out looking for a place for rent, I always got appointments past 6pm to hear if there were any kids around. Recently my neighbour gave birth and then kid won't stop crying and it's driving me nuts.
Not for me, ever and since I remove myself and don't expect people follow me, I wish that I could at least live peacefully instead of being seen as mean or someshit. I will never be the "cool childless aunt" to any friend.
No. 2022641
I told my boyfriend I needed some alone time to rebuild myself but he's trying to barge in on it every chance he gets. I was with a friend and he kept messaging me if he could come along when he knows I don't see her often and I don't have that many friends. Also I've had a concert planned for months I'm going to this week and when I mentioned it he called me up saying
>Anon it really broke my heart when you said you were going there, you have time and energy for that and not me? Can I come with you?Aita for telling him off saying I had it planned for ages and he shouldn't come because he doesn't even remotely like that type of music anyway? I told him let's do something we both like instead but he didn't follow up. If he wants to spend time with me he shouldn't be hours late every time only to mess around on his phone. I don't know if he means it like this but he makes me feel like I can't have a life of my own, I don't have many friends at all so I don't want to be joined at the hip.
>>2022616How close are you? Soon as she has kids she probably doesn't have much time to socialize anyway so it'd be okay if you just sort of faded into the background. I'd be pretty upset about it if I was her but if kids are just going to lead to fighting or you being miserable around her better leave on good terms.
No. 2022651
>>2022637I'm not a black and white thinker, there are some stressful things that I can deal with and some actively make me feel sick. Kids (not the kid per se, but of course if there's a kid around there are diapers, baby food, wipes and stuff like that) are one of the few that make me sick. If I didn't gag at the sight of diapers and the smelling of baby food and felt pain at their screams, then I wouldn't mind, really but it's out of my control. I don't even need to be in contact with someone 24/7 but if a friend of mine wants to hang out but always flakes me because their child got sick or their poor excuse of a moid is the only one allowed fun time out of parenthood, then I'm not inviting her anymore. Really, stay with your kid, they need you, but don't force me to stay in the same space as them. I'm not heartless, not hearing/seeing my friend as much as before kinda hurts me but I can't stand everything that revolves around parenthood. I don't want her to feel uncomfortable around me because I'm a bad actor and I don't want to be put in a stressful situation, period but the thing is that some of my friends don't understand it, like they have some sort of parent-by-proxy syndrome and believe that since I'm a woman then I also have baby fever which I don't, that's why I find irritating when I got addressed like "the cool aunt" like no? Don't do that? I get it that you expect me to help you with your kid but I'm not suited for that. "Could you watch my kid when I go out for groceries?" No and not because I'm an asshole but if they start crying, I lock myself into another room because I can't stand it. Maybe growing up in a very loud household with careless parents did a bad number on me but I stay away from anything baby related.
No. 2022687
>>2022616>Most women my age, I also feel, don't want to be parents but are forced by family and partners Most women who have kids do actually want kids, if they didn't the internet would be full of women talking about how much they hate it and regret it, instead we get endless baby posts from happy mothers. If anything moids are the ones less interested in committing to having kids at that age.
I would say it's 100% due to autism or whatever other anti-social disorder you have that you're so anti-kids. because "not liking kids" is normal - but acting selfish the way you do as to dismiss people out of your life because you heard a child in the background for 5 seconds is highly unusual. But I think it works out fine, since you're a bad friend to all of those people so it's better if you stop being friends with them for their sake, and you don't have to deal with the kids then.
No. 2022713
>>2022616I don't know what your culture might be like, but is there no middle ground here? If you have a really strong aversion to the accessories of small children (the food, diapers, etc), couldn't you maybe talk about that and maybe just discuss that you'd be there for her if she really needs support, but that you absolutely can't handle that. Once she has the kid you might not see her for a while, but once the kid is like a year old, couldn't her husband or whoever watch the kid for a bit so she can have some child-free time and you guys can hang out? Sure, she might talk a bit about the kid in that case, but it'll be something that takes over her life, especially in the first year. Maybe you guys could even time box it and say, like, "ok, here's 10, 15, 30 minutes to share whatever you want about the baby, but then we are gonna talk about …(whatever you guys usually talk about)". If she's a friend you really like, that might give her the space to be her again, and not just lose her identity to being "just a mom".
No. 2257991
>>2257973I left the extras because we had agreed at the store that I would pay and she would send me half the money. I didn't actually check to see if she had actually sent it until after I left her house.
I know I am a doormat though and so does she, she takes advantage of that fact all the time and I need to work on standing up for myself but I just am unsure if this is the right time to start.
No. 2257999
>>2257991it sounds like you've already decided she's the asshole in the situation and want to be told you're in the right. like the other
nonny said just send her a venmo request and establish some boundries
No. 2261805
File: 1731681286003.jpg (48.83 KB, 680x670, FRZ8IaTXIAA4G6K.jpg)
I probably also need some confirmation too but it's nice to check it over.
TLDR: Guy working at the gym I have gone to for years started a friendship with me, knew very early in I have a long-term long distance partner. Quickly got too controlling and weirdly obsessive with me and confessed to me, of which I rejected him and realized all the nice things he'd been doing for me were with hope that I would (???) let him get in my pants.
I have since been gradually distancing myself, but he acts like I am horrible and cold for remaining polite but not engaging with him, literally sent me paragraphs guilt tripping me for having other friends and a life and victimises himself every time I go to see said partner, so now I have advised that he take time to get over me and gives me space. He also tried to convince me while I was very drunk to come over to his, of which I declined and said I was going to bed and he also guilt tripped about that. He insists all his controlling and unsolicited advice is "because he cares" but nonnas I'm guessing I'm right that this guy is the one being the asshole?
The thing is I had been clear from the beginning that I was happy to be friends but he just seems so entitled and seems to think that he deserves any woman he fancies. Bonus red flag points, he says both his exes were crazy and he got bored of them after three years each. Dumps sudden rants on me about his hopeless dad all whilst being the hopeless narcisstic man and thinks he's a bippie and I honestly think he may be too.
I refuse to change gyms or move house (he lives annoyingly close, I've been here ten years) so I'm guessing I'm doing the right thing in distancing myself but not setting him off in any way that feels dangerous?
Honestly as much as he insists he's so nice to me and 'you're safe with me see?????' I don't think anybody who's genuinely safe or nice has ever told me how to feel. He also paragraphed me saying he thinks it would 'benefit us both' to hang out but I've also been blunt that it wouldn't benefit me right now as I KNOW it's going to turn into him monologuing me about how sad and sexy he is and how sad it is that I have this same partner that I've BEEN OPEN ABOUT since the beginning.
Sorry for the wall nonnas. I'm just tired of being antagonised but moids will really make us out to be bitches when they don't get what they want. I'm trying to keep messages and contact minimal and I ignore him at the gym because him interrupting my workouts just because he works there feels fucking invasive and predatory to me now I know his intentions.
No. 2261824
>>2261805You need to get away from that freak. Telling you you're safe and that he's nice is such a red flag, he's obviously having malicious thoughts. Don't feel bad about quitting that friendship or ghosting him, it seems like he never saw you as a friend to begin with. Him being upset about it doesn't have anything to do with you either, you don't owe him anything.
If I were you I'd honestly stop going to that gym. Or at least go on days he's not working if you know his shifts
No. 2262008
>>2261820Thank you nonna, I've already started documenting the messages just in case, your advice is great. There's one female (hahahah go figure) manager he always complains about who seems to see his true colors, so I've been tempted to have a word with her herself if it escalates any further.
>>2261824For me it was the repeated "see I'm so safe see????" comments but also sending a video where he went to pet this cat his grandparents own and she flinches because he keeps rubbing her head in a way she clearly hates. You can hear him say the same thing, but he found it hilarious and didn't get why I found it deeply unsettling. I thankfully know his work pattern so I will be gyming when he is not there. Sometimes he shows up to gym too when he knows I'm around but I will pretend I do not see him.
>>2261829It's tempting nonna. I think he's a bona fide nice guy narc after all. They're always deeply into philosophers and Nietsch and stoicism and love to mansplain for some reason.
No. 2262894
>Witness best friend get yelled at in public restaurant by other friend. Friend feels neglected and yells at her to change her job or work less hours to make time for her.
>Friend gets loud enough to where people are staring, I'm too shocked to say anything atm. Best friend looks uncomfortable, doesn't say much and friend hugs her afterwards
>Best friend tells me that this happens often on the car ride home,
>Start to dislike friend
>FF I move out of state
>friend becomes very aggressive over discord with me over stupid disagreements for no reason
>Stop posting in discord or responding to memes she sends me
>otp best friend tells me that friend gave her an ultimatum because friend feels neglected
>I get angry and block friend on everything without saying anything
>FF a few weeks, she texts me and I text her explain to her why I stopped talking to her
>Friend is hurt and says sorry I feel that way
>FF bestfriend tells me friend apologized to her
>FF I reach out and try to make amends with friend, she says she's not interested in being my friend, says that she feels sorry I think her and her roommates are terrible people. Is passive aggressive, defensive and condescending in her reply
>I'm irritated with the attitude of her reply, but accept it
>FF a couple days later and text her a long paragraph that her attitude irritated me, I don't think she's sorry for how she treated best friend either.
>She responds very smugly and makes it about me, says I'm upset because I'm not forgiven and then blocks me
I need brutal honesty
No. 2262934
>>2261805Had the exact same specimen at my workplace (acts 'protective', advertises how safe he is, latches onto women with a saccharine concerned mommy attitude, tried to get drunk women to hang out with him), turns out he raped one coworker and is a pedophile to boot. You dodged a bullet when you declined his invitation. Report him ASAP, you might want to ask for an opinion from police if you're afraid he'll escalate and use your personal info against you.
>>2262894The friend is an unrepetant asshole. 'Muhhh change work hours for me' what? she has no solid self and thinks berating her friends for contact is an acceptable way to fill the void within her. I bet you she'd think it's awful and unforgivable if this was done to her. She clearly pressured your best friend by berating her in public, trying to twist her arm into a commitment. What a retard. Her passive agressive response says it all, if she had more of a spine (she doesn't, hence why she attacked your bestie) she'd tell you to fuck off because she's not sorry. Not the asshole. Your best friend needs to enforce boundaries better
No. 2262937
>>2262894NTA. Friend is a freak for having regularly made public spectacles to try and publically shame bestfriend for living her own life. Demanding that she change jobs or work less hours?? Loneliness to that extent is a problem of more personal initiative rather than expecting others to bend over backwards to soothe someone.
Bestfriend sounds like a pushover if she's still friends with friend. Expect friend to try driving a wedge between you two now that you're physically out of the picture. Friend is an asshole and in her eyes you "lost" by getting mad at her over a long text after you accepted her shitty apology (from the context idk why she brought up her roommates).
At least friend blocked you and took herself out of your life over imagined feelings of superiority. Good riddance, what a freak. The thought of an adult throwing tantrums like that disgusts me tbh.
No. 2263001
>>2262934Ty, those were my thoughts exactly. She loves to dish it out but she can't take it herself. As for my bestie, she knows how I feel and tbh, I don't see their friendship lasting.
>>2262937Yeah, I think she is the type of person to tear us apart. I don't worry though because bestie and I are childhood friends. She mentioned her roommates because they were with us at the restaurant and they also dogpiled on her but I honestly think they wouldn't be acting like that if it wasn't for her. I made it pretty Obvious I was singling her out but I think she mentioned them to take the heat off herself and rile them up imo
No. 2263018
>>2262934Nonna I'm so sorry you have had such a similar experience knowing a man like this, I hope that coworker is in a much safer place. Moid in question DOES get overprotective or classes very controlling remarks as him "being protective" and is weirdly familiar and jealous, and acts like he's the world's most cursed martyr but I reckon he is the problem and HE is the one being
toxic in all his life situations. The way he responded to me declining his invitation was disgusting, saying it wasn't fair and that he was so looking forward to seeing me, trying to pressure me into doing it and then sulking that I did not. I've noticed it's a pattern so I disengaged and I've kept him as far away from me as possible, I actually feel pissed off when he tries to get his gym workouts in on days he thinks I'll be there, comes over and tries to mansplain weights to me and has his hands on his hips grinning over me expecting me to hang out so thanks for the extra validation that I am not being paranoid and he is as slimy as I wonder. Bonus points that I've accidentally seen the porn and this pornstar on his phone when he showed me a photo from his walk and it made me feel sick because the woman resembled the young girls who come into the gym even though she was of age.