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Townhall is scheduled for May 22nd, GMT 2PM.

File: 1557968121945.jpg (140.37 KB, 427x547, un_gato__by_faboarts.jpg)

No. 410647

I was inspired by the subreddit. This is a thread to ask other anons if you're being the asshole in a particular situation or if you're in the right.

>there's a cat that always chills around the neighborhood

>no collar or any indicator he belonged to anyone
>always coming up to me demanding affection
>took him in assuming he's a stray
>get him collar and stop letting him outside
>after a week start seeing missing posters with a cat that's most likely him in them
>ignore them, telling myself it's not
>his owner contacts me on Facebook a few months later saying she thinks it's her cat and that she wants it back (apparently a neighbor tipped her off that I might have him because she saw him through the window)
>I lie and tell her I've had him for longer than her cat's been missing and there's no way they're the same cat

I feel bad, but who the fuck let's their cat be outdoors in an area filled with fisher cats, dog breeds known for being predatorial toward cars, heavy traffic, and doesn't even put a collar/name tag on them? Not only are this cat and I super bonded at this point, but I would genuinely worry about his safety going back to someone who lacks this much common sense.

No. 410648

>>410647
>dog breeds known for being predatorial toward cats

No. 410650

>coworker wants to hang out beyond work
>she's a mostly nice person but we have no hobbies in common
>also she says some really ignorant shit about lgbt/other races sometimes
>but overall she's very kind
>don't want to hang out with her tho so keep lying about being busy

I get the feeling she's a little lonely and doesn't have that many friends; she also asks me really strange questions sometimes that almost seem like they'd be reserved for a date? Just… stuff about me that feels almost forced, and should just come up naturally in a convo if we're becoming true friends. IDK it feels like she's trying to force a friendship but I feel like a jerk for withdrawing. I don't really want to get to know her super closely. I already have a core group of close friends like that anyway.

No. 410651

>>410647

i think you're a bit of an asshole but for good reason tbh, if you're bonded and its treated well then so be it

domestic cats should NOT be outdoor cats, so like…sorry lady lmao you obviously didn't care enough to worry until it was gone

not like she can prove its hers anyway

No. 410653

>>410650
No one is entitled to your attention or frienship, anon. You aren't the asshole for just not wanting to be friends with someone. If you don't enjoy spending time with her, you have no obligation to stick around.

No. 410657

Please go back to fucking reddit, we don't need this shit

No. 410658

>>410657
I don't see what the problem with this kind of thread is? I like it.

Just ignore it if you don't like it.

No. 410659

>>410650
There's nothing wrong with not wanting to be friends with someone because you don't feel a connection, even if they are nice.

No. 410665

>>410658
Of course you like it… You made it. This site doesn't need to entertain more annoying plebbitors. They're bar none the least desirable outsiders.

No. 410668

>>410647
You basically stole the cat because the cat was being a slut for attention like how most cats are.
But the original owner is also an asshole for letting their cat outside, anything else could have happened to it like being eaten or hit by a car.

>>410650
Not the asshole.

No. 410670

>>410665
who cares? the catalog is gigantic and this will die if no one cares about it

No. 410672

>>410665
But really, would you rather hear if you're an asshole from idiotic, cumbrained, misogynistic scrotes on Reddit, or from (halfway) sane anons who have no interest in gaslighting and/or shilling political agendas?
As long as the gross run-off from Reddit don't make their way here, I think it's fine.

No. 410673

>>410647
You are, I can't imagine someone stealing my cat and acting smug about it online on top of it. Btw in tons of places in the world letting your cat indoors is considered cruel and abusive

No. 410674

>>410672
OP here- this. I trust the judgement of you guys far more than the average Reddit user, which is one of the reasons I wanted a thread of that theme here.

No. 410677

>>410673
Well, the general consensus of cat welfare organizations in the USA is that you absolutely 100% shouldn't have outdoor cats for a laundry list of reasons (cars, predators, diseases, etc). Here the average life expectancy for an outdoor cat is 3-5 years and there is no proven reason why letting them outside is necessary. What countries are these that consider indoor cats animal abuse? Perhaps they don't have the same issues we have in the USA that make it so deadly, but I have a hard time believing that.

No. 410681

>>410673
Then put a fucking tag on your cat. It's not that hard. A tagless outdoor cat is basically a stray to anyone who doesn't know you.

No. 410684

>>410681
I'm sorry but OP is clearly saying that she has seen that the owner is actively looking for her cat and has flat out lied about stealing it? It's not like she took in a starving stray animal.
>>410677
In most of Europe, people believe the cat's well being and happiness is most important than his owner's wishes.

No. 410686

>>410684
How is it beneficial for a cat‘s wellbeing to be run over by a car?
I got my cat from a shelter, she was dying outside before someone found her. Never letting my baby outside, the risk is way too high.

No. 410687

>>410686
Cats like to run around, play, laze in the shade etc. I used to live in house with a garden so I let my cat in and out the house for many years and he never had an issue. Now he lives in an apartment he's exclusively an indoors cat. It's really not big of a deal but OP is still a thief.

No. 410688

>>410684
I am searching every single combination of words I can think of to find anywhere where indoor cats are considered animal abuse or against the law and finding nothing. Provide specific countries please.

>the cat's well being and happiness is most important than his owner's wishes.

Which is why they should always be indoors. What part of "significantly shorter lifespan" is so hard to understand?

No. 410689

>>410687
Cats enjoy the outside until some neighbor's dog or a tire is tearing them to shreds.

And if you don't want someone to accidentally steal your cat, I repeat: put a damn tag on it. It's not yours anymore the second you let it outside without a tag or microchip.

No. 410692

>>410687
It really depends on where you live, as you said. If I lived in the countryside with little traffic or other things that could hurt my cat, she'd be an outdoor cat too.
Unfortunately I don’t live in a place like that at all, so she has to stay inside.

We’re always worried about her not tolerating a collar though, because what if she gets outside somehow one day and what OP described happens?

No. 410694

>>410689
>>410688
You people don't understand the purpose of this thread I am afraid. What's the point of ''am i an asshole?'' thread if you're just looking for people to hugbox you and polarizing opinions in your favour?
If you can't comprehend that in many countries outside the US, people live in the countryside with few cars and danger IDK what to tell you. Btw collars are a choking hazard since they can get caught in branches etc. Seems more like a comestic accessory than anything else.

No. 410697

>>410694
Why do cat fags always go on about how it’s ~natural~ for cats to want to roam and how they should be ~free~ if they want to be. Yeah, no shit they want to roam outdoors, every animal does, and yet I don’t see people frothing at the mouth at the suggestion that animals like dogs and rabbits shouldn’t be allowed to just roam. Domesticated animals should be kept indoors for their own benefit unless they are supervised/within a closed off space (like a cat run) because they’re domesticated and can’t adequately care for themselves.

No. 410698

>>410697
Samefag but cats are also huge threats to natural fauna and actively decrease numbers of local birds and other small wildlife when allowed to roam

No. 410699

>>410647
Yes you are. Not giving it a tag doesn't mean the owner doesn't give a fuck about it and obviously now they are even searching for it. You're trying to find reasons to rationalize theft to feel better about it.

No. 410700

If you let your cat outdoors unsupervised, you consent to it being attacked by a dog, attacked by other cats, run over by a car, taken by a psycho and killed/tortured, poisoned by neighbors, somehow getting lost or trapped somewhere, and just generally being hurt or dying.

There is no reason not to keep a cat indoors. Fucking play with it to stimulate its mind. Get it cat trees and toys and other things to play with. This isn't difficult.

No. 410701

>>410694
Because your position should have rationality behind it either way you go. And you haven't even named one place where it's illegal to have indoor cats even though you've been asked twice.

No. 410704

>>410699
Actually, from a legal stand point it isn't theft if there is no collar or microchip establishing this cat as the other women's property.

No. 410705

>>410701
It is illegal nowhere yet it is common practice for people to let cat outdoors. I've never said it was illegal, I've said it was socially shunned. Get your facts right. Laws against animal abuse are extremely rare everywhere.

No. 410706

>>410700
This. It sucks but if that person got their car back they’d just let it out again and its lifespan statistically would be cut severely. Disease, infection from fighting other cats or animals, getting hit by cars. I’ve done a lot of catsitting when I was growing up and about half the cats I’ve worked with that were outdoor cats ended up with grievous injuries from cars or dying prematurely. So yeah I agree it’s a dick move but the owner of that cat was also a dick who clearly didn’t care if their cat got hurt or died.

No. 410707

>>410700
When you leave your house, you consent to being mugged, robbed, run over by a car, get in a car accident, get killed by a psycho, get contagious infections etc yet you don't stay indoors all the time, do you? There are many things that could happen that are out completely out of your control after all.

No. 410708

>>410707
That analogy is completely off base due to the average lifespans of indoor vs outdoor cats. Being a NEET doesn’t double or triple people’s lifespan. The only thing comparable for human beings in terms of making them die that much earlier on average would be hard drugs like heroin. But we should let our children do heroin if it makes them happy, who cares if they die at 20! That’s how dangerous it is for cats to be outdoors statistically.

No. 410709

>>410705
>Btw in tons of places in the world letting your cat indoors is considered cruel and abusive
Using that phrasing made it sound like you were saying it was illegal and you did not clarify what you meant until now. Anyone who thinks it's abusive to greatly lower your cat's chance of dying is either a nutjob or horribly uneducated on the subject, but shouldn't own a cat either way.

Also, your previous argument that collars are mostly cosmetic is absolutely retarded. You are participating in a conversation that centers around how black of identification can lead to people mistaking your cat for a stray. How can you be so dumb to say they're just an aesthetic thing in this context?

No. 410712

>>410708
So you would rather live 90 years completely miserable in prison than 50 years free?
>>410709
It's funny for someone how hell bent on safety you are, you would put your cat's health in jeopardy for the sake of identification. Many more ways exist like tattoos and microchips.
Stop thinking a cat living outdoors equals immediate death lol. My cat lived 6 years outdoors/indoors before becoming a complete indoors cat. Statistics are skewed since they refer to stray cats, not outdoors cats who also get fed and medically treated by human beings.

No. 410713

>>410707
Except that our lifespan doesn't decrease in average to about 1/5 of what it otherwise would be and there is absolutely no concrete evidence that outdoor cats have a higher quality of life than indoor other than "they seem happier!" by outdoor-fags.

No. 410715

>>410712
Would you let any other animal just roam outdoors unsupervised?

No. 410716

>>410713
You should let your cat out a few times and report back your findings on whether he wants to go home or not then.

No. 410717

>>410715
If they aren't a danger to humans, yes.

No. 410718

>>410717
Double digit IQ confirmed

No. 410719

>>410712
>It's funny for someone how hell bent on safety you are, you would put your cat's health in jeopardy for the sake of identification.
The health risks to a cat from being outside are incomparably greater than whatever weird complication comes from form of identification. This is one of the weakest gotchas I've ever seen.

>Statistics are skewed since they refer to stray cats, not outdoors cats who also get fed and medically treated by human beings.

I am finding nothing that says this other than your post. Sources?

>So you would rather live 90 years completely miserable in prison than 50 years free?

A more comparable number would be 20 years with the ability to go outside or 100 years indoors in a nice apartment with everything I need. And I would choose the latter.

No. 410722

>>410647

>>410668
>>410699
Pretty much what they said, it’s not yours to steal. Regardless of anyone’s moral position you can’t just steal someone’s cat “because YOU think it’s better for it”, that’s not how that shit works.

No. 410723

>>410716
He actually hasn't even expressed any interest in going outside.

In my experience, most people who want their cats to be outdoor cats just want to deal with less litter and general burden. I've seen people make their cats go outside and I wouldn't be surprised if this was the case with him because he doesn't seem to have a desire to at all. Anytime I leave he just sits there, doesn't try to go out the door. Even when I had it open for like 10 minutes to bring my new fridge inside.

No. 410724

>>410718
Get off lolcow and step out outside your middle class American bubble, you will be greatly surprised by how differently people lead their lives than you.

No. 410725

>>410723
You still stole someone’s cat. ESH but obviously you’re the bigger fucking asshole for stealing someone’s pet, most people consider them family members

Doesn’t matter what your stance on outdoor vs indoor is because it’s still not YOUR cat

No. 410726

>>410724
Yes, only American unsupervised dogs are a danger!

No. 410729

>>410724
I am neither middle class nor American, I’m just not a retard that lets loose animals to roam outside of my property which I have absolutely no intention of supervising

By your logic I should let my rabbits roam about the city just because they want to with complete disregard to their safety and well-being

No. 410730

>>410719
>100 years indoors in a nice apartment with everything I need
Big derail (although I guess it's already a derail), but this sounds so nice. Living out my days at home with my family and just taking part in my hobbies and sleeping, eating, and getting snugs.
God I wish I were my cat.

No. 410732

>>410647
NTA anon, the outdoor catfags ITT are delusional selfish people that probably just don't want to clean the litterbox.

No. 410734

One thing I would like to point out in OP's defense is that she has no reason to trust beyond a reasonable doubt this cat actually belongs to that person. She says "most likely" not "definitely". If there's nothing disctinct enough about the cat to establish for a fact he belongs to that lady, then I don't think she has the right to claim it.

It's the risk you take by letting a cat outside without a collar. Sorry, but that's what the owner signed up for when she decided to raise a cat this way.

No. 410735

>>410727
My own cat now lives indoors. It's not normal behaviour to think you are entitled to steal someone's cat because you don't think he should be outdoors. Would you steal a baby if you disagreed with the way his mother raised him?

No. 410736

This just reminded me how my cat snuck out and disappeared, it kind of hurts knowing there is people out there that could just steal someone’s pet without remorse. I’d understand if there was actual abuse or something. You don’t even seem to know anything about this woman.
I searched weeks to try and find my cat, I was so heartbroken. So yes OP, I would say you’re an asshole.

No. 410737

>>410735
This is yet another dumb comparison because a mother doing that with her kid would have CPS called on her and be charged with child neglect or some shit.

Are you afraid of this happening to you? Just microchip your fucking cat.

No. 410738

>>410735
>Would you steal a baby if you disagreed with the way his mother raised him?
Yes! If the baby is being put into a dangerous situation.

No. 410739

>>410734
OP didn’t even go to check if the cat is microchipped, and now that someone has come forward saying it’s possibly her cat she’s pretending she’s had him for longer than she has. How is she not in the wrong in this scenario?

No. 410740

>>410738
You’re a dumbfuck, call the authorities.

No. 410742

>>410737
You clearly don't pay attention. I said ''way you disagreed with'', that doesn't imply it's dangerous or universally hated. For many people, it is the norm after all no matter how you feel about it. Don't get mad when you get in serious trouble for being a thief because they will most likely come to confront you at some point.

No. 410743

>>410739
OP here. I should have specified this, but I actually did ask her if he was micro chipped and she said no.

No. 410745

>>410743
I’m genuinely unsure as to how I feel about this scenario then. My previous ruling was ESH but I’m starting to think NTA since you have no way of definitely knowing this is her cat..

No. 410746

>>410742
>Don't get mad when you get in serious trouble for being a thief because they will most likely come to confront you at some point.
What trouble would that be? She has no rights to the cat legally speaking.

No. 410747

OP is s massive cunt who feels entitled to stealing other peoples pets due to her feeling morally superior and created a wholeass plebbit ripoff thread to validate her cuntery. could've just gotten a shelter kitty if you wanted to rescue one oh so badly.

No. 410749

>>410746
The law won't stop her from being punched in the face for being a thief

No. 410752

>>410749
And the girl would get an assault charge?

No. 410753

Even if you think it’s ~abusive to keep a cat indoors you’re STILL a stupid asshole for letting it out because cats kill wild birds by the thousands along with other small things like baby rabbits and such. You’re helping destroy a natural ecosystem because you’re apparently too lazy and neglectful to provide a stimulating environment for something as low-maintenance as a cat. Why even have it?

No. 410754

It amazes me how difficult of a concept it is for some people to accept that letting you cat outside with no way to prove it's yours is a bad idea. Especially considering how intense America's straybcat problem is.

Like be the slightest bit responsible for your cat it's not that fucking hard.

No. 410757

Don't keep other people's pets, even if you think it's the owner's fault for losing it.
I could understand if the cat had been abused, but that doesn't seem to be the case.

No. 410758

>>410752
Worth it. Op clearly doesn't give a fuck about how her actions make other people feel

No. 410760

>>410747
You do realize if a shelter gets an animal with no identification they treat it as a stray and put it up for adoption, right? The owner literally has to readopt it if they can't prove it's theirs.

No. 410761

OP's not asking if what they did is legally okay or not, they're asking if they're an asshole. Not even letting the owner of the missing cat see hers to check is an asshole move.

No. 410762

>>410758
And the owner clearly doesn't care about the obvious consequences of being insanely irresponsible with her cat.

Also, are you missing the part about there being no definitive way to know the cat belonged to this girl in the first place? You're essentially advocating that anyone who loses their cat in easily avoidable situations are justified to punch any rando who has a cat that resembles it.

No. 410763

>>410762
Every cat has specific features. No offense but I would recognize my cat among 1000000 pictures of cats the same colour as him

No. 410766

>>410760
alright, assuming animal control would go thru ops neighbourhood with a van, or something similarly stereotypically American, and the cat winds up in shelter, the og owner lady could get it back. ususlly 1st thing you do if you have missing animals is calling the local shelters/vets. the massive op cunt over here however, knows well enough she has stolen the ladies cat, the lady has even enquired, yet op plays dumb to her face. and then goes on a validation seeking adventure on this here thread. could've posted it in dumb shit thread or something but noooo

No. 410767

>>410763
That's true of some cats, but definitely not all. There's a lot of cats that look generic AF.

>>410761
To be fair, the owner could easily think the cat is hers when it isn't. I had a friend who was convinced a neighbor stole their cat (similar situation but this one had a collar) only to find its remains in the woods the next week. There's really no way of being certain.

No. 410769

>>410767
>the owner could easily think the cat is hers when it isn't
I don't know, the fact that OP went out of her way to lie about the cat and not let her see it seems to say otherwise.

No. 410771

>>410766
It's almost like this whole situation could have been avoided if the potential owner had taken basic precautions before letting her cat outside.

No. 410773

>>410771
Or, you know, if OP hadn't just taken someone else's cat for their own.

No. 410774

>>410766
I just want to point out in some states animal control will straight up put the animal down if there's no evidence anyone owns the animal and the shelters are overcrowded.

So yeah, don't be dumb with your animals.

No. 410775

>>410773
And brag about it online like an asshole to boot

No. 410776

>>410775
I wouldn't call it bragging, more like looking for validation because she clearly has a guilty conscience.

No. 410777

>>410773
Right, because it's so crazy to assume an animal outside with no name tag or chip is a stray.

No. 410778

>>410777
Once you see missing cat posters for a suspiciously similar cat, yeah, it gets a little incredulous.

No. 410780

So how many of these posts are OP trying to defend herself?

No. 410782

My fiancé raped me 6 years ago and has also emotionally abused me over the years and I don’t think I can trust him anymore. I completely buried all trauma from the events and it has just recently resurfaced and it makes my stomach turn and I can’t believe I stayed.. that said we now have two young children together. I have no education as he is the one currently studying, no former employment because my abusive parents never let me get a job (I ran away at 16) and my only income is benefits. Don’t wanna hear about how I fucked up, because yeah no fucking shit I did. My question is WIBTA if I left my fiancé and tried to get full custody of my kids even though I wouldn’t be able to provide them as well financially and they wouldn’t have a father fLigure..? Or should I honestly just tough this out and stay with him as he seems genuinely remorseful and has changed a bit..

No. 410783

File: 1557982003202.gif (971.69 KB, 500x280, tumblr_ng1gmfJaqo1qgf1i8o1_500…)

Moral of the story: microchip your cat

No. 410784

>>410780
My guess is not nearly as many as the eurofag sperging about ~muh animal abuse~

No. 410786

>>410783
Yeah, wouldn't want some asshole stealing your cat.

No. 410787

>>410780
willing to bet like a good third of the anti-letting cats out ones. repeating talking points/phrases.

>>410771
yeah, owner is at fault for not feeling ops massive psycho pet stealer vibes /s

No. 410788

>>410784
You're the only one who thinks that letting a cat outside is enough to warrant it being stolen weirdo

No. 410789

>>410782
That's so horrible anon, I'm so sorry you're in such a nightmare of a situation. You absolutely should leave and take the kids. You're not an asshole in the slightest for doing that.

Also, no father is far better than a horrible father.

I wish you the best.

No. 410790

>>410782
Trying to escape from an abusive household doesn't make you an asshole. I can't really give you any life advice, but I hope things work out alright for you, and that you can be free of him someday.

No. 410792

>>410788
No, there's actually a lot of anons on OP's side because not everyone is too stupid not to acknowledge this was some grad A neglect on the "owner"'s part.

No. 410794

Can we stop arguing about the fucking cat already
Not to say this reddit-tier thread's going anywhere good

No. 410795

>>410782
it's a tricky one due to children. firstly, please elaborate what you mean by him having changed a bit? is the emotional abuse in the past too then?

in my heart I want to tell you to dump him bc being a child of a family where the dad abuses the mom is worse than a poorer but healthier household imo but I'm not sure what's the best way for you to disengage from him. if he isn't abusive rn, work on getting a job and saving up some, if he is, reach out to women's shelters or crisis centres.

don't worry abt the father figure meme, I'm sure no father figure is better than father figure that abuses them, especially if your children are boys.

No. 410814

Letting a cat roam outside is how you get your cat killed: by eating poisoned food left by some asshole, by a car, by a dog when it trespasses on someone's property, etc.

It was shitty to steal the cat but at the same time OP saved the cat's life… The previous owner seemed really irresponsible.

No. 410817

cat thief anon is literal human scum and it would be best if you stopped breathing

No. 410848

Cat-stealing OP could have gone into so many other threads, like the stupid question thread, but they just wanted to blog and feel superior.
They sound like a psychopath. The original owner put up posters after a week and she didn't say it was in bad health, there's no reason why they shouldn't give the cat back except for the collar thing, which she can talk to the owner about. If she has other concerns about how the cat is looked after she can call protective services, but you don't get to just steal a healthy child and claim it was always yours so why is it ok to do that with a cat? For all she knows it could even be microchipped.
Go adopt a cat instead of stealing one ffs

No. 410860

>>410848
i agree. i hate novice vigilantes. if she gives enough of a fuck about the dangers that outside cats deal with, taking one outside cat isn't going to fix anything. what a lazy form of activism.

No. 410880

this thread is the best i've seen on this website in a long time lmao i'm loving this

anyway, op is kind of an asshole but honestly this is the original owner's fault for letting their cat roam outside with no chip/collar tbh did they deserve getting their cat stolen? probably not, but odds are this same cat would have gotten run over/attacked at some point and at least this way it's safe and happy. it's not like the cat itself gives a fuck so.

No. 410881


No. 410887

>>410704
Yes it is. The owner still bought the cat and has it's certificates/IDs.

No. 410890

>>410723
>leaving the cat all alone without a companion after you kidnapped it from its original home
I hope the owner takes it back from you.

No. 410894

>>410848
/thread

No. 410895

>>410736
Plus the OP was contacted by the cat’s original owner, it wasn’t like the cat just disappeared. They know what happened to it and OP is blatantly lying back to them.

No. 410897

OP is in the right, the cat lives in a comfy home instead of being hit by a car.

No. 410898

>>410647
People who let their cat roam free are the lowest of trash so you did the right thing despite being a bit of an asshole. Why the fuck didn't the owner provide the cat with a collar to begin with? I wish everyone would do this if they saw a cat roaming free, it's basically shielding them from feline HIV, breeding uncontrollably, getting beat up by other cats or run over by a car.

No. 410902

>>410647
Eh, I just think you're dumb. You should've taken it to a vet since most cat owners chip their cats, especially if they're outdoor cats. I know I wouldn't rely on a collar if I had a cat and it got lost because anything can happen. Even if you take out the safety issues, what if the cat just ran away? You're not entitled to its ownership unless it was severely abused and shit.

No. 410919

Op assumes the owner let the cat out like they can’t escape the house. I have 2 cats one that loves trying to escape the house and chill outside she also happens to hate her collar and takes them off. Op is a dick and a thief.

No. 410931

>>410782
No, you're not the asshole for wanting to leave someone because he raped and abused you.
Your children would be disgusted if they found this out when they're older. They will understand why you left.

However how do you intend to gain custody of the kids if he lawyers up and shows that you've never had a work history and need benefits in order to live?
If he's asshole enough to rape you, he's likely asshole enough to punish you through your kids by trying to assassinate your character and take them away. Unless you think he won't, but I've seen abusive men before…

No. 410936

>>410647
You're an asshole that took someones cat. They raised it well enough for you to want it.

No. 410939

>>410684
I live in Ireland and lived in a residential area my cat was a rescue and likes access to outdoors. It's extremely common to see rescue pages and sites stating if a cat is indoor or needs outdoor access, it's better for their enrichment to get access outside. Maybe US car states are more dangerous. Personally my cat spends some hours outside, she's street smart and engages with school children knowing the times of their commute to get pets. When I was at school she use to range down to the bus stop and walk me home. Some owners give more freedom to their cats. My cat would always come when called and certain nights of the year like bonfire nights or Halloween, fireworks she was kept in. I guess it depends on area, I'm obviously not from US but sounds like this cat was use to having outdoor access.

I'd be interested how the content the cat is now being indoors.

No. 410940

>>410931
I honestly don’t know.. I feel so broken and defeated at this point and keep switching between despising him and being unable to imagine life without him..

He’s a student so I don’t see him being able to afford a lawyer of any sort but I’m worried my history of abuse could be used against and it would be decided that I’m unfit to be a mother

To the anon that asked before, I don’t think he’s emotionally abusive anymore.. but I’m very much frightened. I never feel truly at ease anymore and he does have a short fuse. Every little thing he does that inconveniences my life now makes me build up resentment, even if it’s something as mild as not helping with cleaning the house and I have to do it myself while in severe pain

I regret not having left earlier because at the end of the day I think I’m only staying because of our two kids now, but whenever I even entertain the thought of leaving I feel the biggest piece of shit on earth and when he cries I instantly forgive him and regret even bringing up any relationship issues we have

I’m just at a complete loss as to what I should do and whether or not I’m scum for even feeling this way. It’s been 6 years I feel like I should get over it but I know I would never even think of suggesting such a thing to any other rape victim..

I love him but I don’t know if that’s enough at this point

No. 410947

>>410782
>My fiancé raped me 6 years ago
>emotionally abused me over the years
>I don’t think I can trust him anymore
>my abusive parents never let me get a job
>my only income is benefits
>he seems genuinely remorseful and has changed a bit.

I'll be the asshole here and say your story is pretty inconsistent. Either it's partly true or completely made up. Regardless, you will have a lot of trouble getting full custody unless there's concrete evidence of abuse and the children can attest to it. If it is true, no, you are not the asshole, but you are stupid.

No. 410949

>>410947
What’s inconsistent about it?
And I don’t see my two year old and infant being able to attest to any abuse

No. 410951

>>410949
How old are you?

No. 410953

>>410951
Early twenties

No. 410956

>>410953
What have you been doing in the last few years of adulthood? Did your abusive parents prevent you from working as an adult?

No. 410958

>>410947
How is she stupid? Making bad decisions because of either love, or because the alternatives are scary doesn't make someone stupid.
>>410940
>>410782
First off, start documenting, even if that just means writing down whenever he does things that could be grounds for an unhealthy relationship. What country are you in? Support for mothers is unfortunately varied by where you live. I don't know much about in the US, but in the UK you could divorce on grounds of the past abuse, be offered social housing on the basis of being a mother on benefits and split custody so that the children still see their father.
I'm sorry but when you say "my history of abuse" do you mean you yourself have abused people or drugs, or do you mean his own past abuse?

No. 410959

>>410956
I was first studying and ended up having to drop out when I got pregnant and have been a SAHM. My parents wouldn’t let me get any sort of employment, not even a tax file number, while I lived with them so I have no references

No. 410960

>>410959
How did your fiance rape you?

No. 410961

>>410958
By history of abuse I meant that I have been abused in the past by my parents - this has made social workers and the like wary of my mental health so i have gut wrenching fear that it could be used against me in that they say that because I was abused my mental health is too poor to care my kids, I don’t want to rock the boat and have that potentially happen

No. 410962

>>410960
For pretty obvious reasons I’m not going to lay out intimately horrible details of my rape.

No. 410963

>>410961
Why the fuck would they be wary of your mental health and not supportive? Unless of course you had lied or conflated abuse previously.

No. 410964

>>410959
Do your parents help with babysitting ever or a desire to look after their grandkids? Do you have an type of friends or family that would mind your kids a few hours a day while you get whatever legalities you need to gain employment in the future. Obviously child care cost and welfare of your kids is a big concern so you need to think about how you can have them minded while you look into getting part time work or taking part time classes in the meantime. I assume your fiancé will not help with minding them or spending money on childcare so you need to figure that out because I assume you'll want to start working with a roof over your head to gain independence and maybe save and then once you're out of the house you can hopefully feel comfortable seeking proper help. Hopefully you can leave him sooner if he's abusive and have somewhere to stay

No. 410965

>>410963
I saw in my eldest sons medical files details of my abuse (I’ve spoken to therapists about it in the past) and how this puts him in an at risk category of potential abuse

No. 410966

>>410963
they get worried mom will off herself and take her kids with her.

No. 410967

>>410964
My mum helps out often as she’s the only one I even remotely trust, I don’t have any friends as I’ve been pretty socially isolated and have trouble opening up to people

I feel like asking for advice on this may have been a mistake, whenever I bring stuff like this up I doubt myself and worry that I’m lying to everyone.. god I know I’m coming off as pathetic and I’m really sorry for that, no one wants to read a sob story (especially on an imageboard)

No. 410968

>>410782

For god's sake, get out of there. You're not the asshole, you're living with a monster, bail.

I'll post my own:

I quit my decent paying but dead-end tedious job to be my mother's secretary/assistant/manager/whatever. She's started a new business that's getting pretty successful but because she took out a loan to start it she can't afford to pay me more than the bare minimum I need for rent and groceries (the plan is that my wage will go up significantly once the loans are repaid, on steady course to be done by September).
My partner is saying that it was shitty of me to accept this low wage job because, while I can cover the basics, I have a lot less money left for nice things like eating out and we can't take the vacation to Japan together they wanted in December. Am I being an asshole to my partner by bringing in a lot less money to the household than I used to, even though it's a temporary thing?

No. 410970

>>410968
Do you guys usually split costs 50/50 or are you not living together? And is it just stuff like luxuries and entertainment that you now can’t afford?

No. 410971

>>410970
Living together, we have separate finances and split things 50/50. It's just stuff like luxuries, I can cover the bills, rent and groceries fine. (No fancy ingredients though.)

No. 410972

>>410960
What the fuck kind of question is that to ask someone?
>>410961
But even if you have received support for mental health issues, that doesn't mean that you are marked unfit as a mother unless it's a genuine risk such as a current substance dependency or in manageable personality disorder. Even with both if those examples, something like that would only be a temporary problem until you could prove you were maintaining your mental health once in a safe environment. Additionally, if it was found that the family home was unsafe for you butsomehow still a better place for your children, you should be supported so that you can provide equal custody once you live alone, with the worst case scenario being that you might have to bear through an assessment period. However as the mother and as a domestic abuse victim you would be in a sympathetic position, and should also be able to ask social services up front if there would be any issues with your claim for custody. At least in the uk, this would be the the case.
Sorry to press the nationality thing, but anons from your city might be able to tell you of welfare organisations that can help get you going in the right direction.

No. 410974

>>410967
What advice are you looking? No you're not an asshole for wanting to end a relationship with someone you don't love. You said your parents were odd that they denied you the creditionals to seek employment? Then how are you getting benefits because you need still to be a citizen with a tax number? Where do you live your boyfriend is a student are you living off his loan and government grant because he can't get unemployment benefits being a student? Honestly, just get a job cry to your mum and say you want to work and can she mind the kids sometimes. You don't seem to want a change in circumstances apart from your bf fucking off but you want his house and income?

No. 410975

>>410971
NTA. people take temporary pay cuts all the time. be glad you have enough for the basics and wasn't like, laid off and totally dependent on your partner.

No. 410979

>>410967
Everything you need to know is probably available on the internet. You're posting here, so you already have access to this information. If you're concerned about your partner seeing your browser history use a private tab. I recently helped my friend leave her asshole husband and everything we needed to know about custody and divorce laws, her rights and how to access the benefits she needed was easily found online. I'm in the UK but it's probably the same for other European countries and the US.

No. 410983

>>410971
NAH I can see why it would be straining on your relationship if you cannot comfortably afford luxuries, but at the end of the day you can still afford all necessities and are also helping your mother with her business. Just make sure that you definitely will be getting a better income than you currently are in the near future

No. 410986

Am I being a dick if I don't include people in my bridal party because they're fat (obviously I would not say this out loud)? The style of bridesmaid dresses that I want is absolutely incompatible with fat chicks.

No. 410988

>>410986
How fat? Obese fat or 20lbs overweight fat? It's kind of a dick move but it's your choice. Just come up with a reason so they don't get hurt.

No. 410989

>>410986
You can exclude people from your bridal party for any reason you want. If some hamplanet is going to fuck up your pretty bridal party photos then don't include them. It's your wedding day and it's not like you're telling them "It's because you're fat." I'm going to exclude children from my wedding but I'm not telling their parents "It's because your child is an undisciplined and horrible little demon" so whatever. Do what you want.

No. 410991

>>410986
At the end of the day it’s up to you, just know that if they’re a close friend or sibling you’re burning bridges by doing this - especially if it’s more than one so it’s a noticeable trend

No. 411023

>>410986
I think you are. Assuming the fat people are people close to you, I think it's a little messed up to exclude them from an important event for someone they care about just because they are harder on the eyes. Likely no one will know but I think your reason is kind of asshole-ish.
>inb4 fattie

No. 411027

>>410986
it's your wedding, anon. weddings are inherently about being selfish so i'd say go nuts.

No. 411030

>>410986
Are you actually getting married or is this just hypothetical? Is there a fat relative or friend expecting to be in the bridal party?

No. 411031

>>410986
Yes, you’re an asshole but you don’t seem to care about whether you are or not, considering the tone of your post. Go wild anon but don’t complain when nobody likes you afterwards.

No. 411032

>>410986
If those fat people are not close to you - you sound like a shallow and shitty person, but it's your call and no harm done. However if those fat people are good enough for you to call them to vent, borrow money from or you consider each other friends, I hope they will realize what happened and drop your ungrateful ass.

No. 411092

>>410986
don't stop there anon! you gotta exclude the bobfocs and the ones with bad teeth/hair colours etc too

ps even if you don't say it out loud, even if you come up with an excuse they'll know. haha. "I know you're my sister but I am being blackmailed by my colleague's wife's niece so she has to be a bridesmaid instead sorry about that"

No. 411102

>>410986
Protip: Unless the fat friends are so close they're willing to do anything for you they're not thrilled to spend hundreds on a dress for you that they'll look like shit in.

No. 411237

>>410986
Yes, you sound terrible

No. 412367

>>410647
wow you're a huge asshole.
You basically kidnapped someone's family member because you have different views on wether cats should be indoors or outdoors.
How would you feel if your beloved family member had been taken away from you by a cunt and you didn't even know where she went or if she's dead. How would you feel to keep on waiting every day for your cat to come back?
You have no idea if this person took good care of their pet. not everyone has your views and some see it as animal cruelty to lock their cat up indoors.
I hope you feel bad, you're horrible.

No. 412370

>>410677
>in the USA
>Amerifags locking up their animals
ah yes, it must be like that for the rest of the world too then

No. 412372

>>412370
NTA and I am an Amerifag but like… you do realize lots of people hate cats, right? I have heard so many horror stories of cats being tortured or poisoned or killed, and most commonly, getting run over. Even letting your cat outside in a rural environment is dangerous. All kinds of birds of prey can hurt or kill them, and often do. Letting your cat out means you don't care about it, tbh.

>>412367
Obviously the owner didn't care enough to not let what is essentially a child out, in a high risk area. If it was an accident, ok, but regularly letting a cat out when there are shittons of predators means you are a shit owner, sorry, and the cat deserves better. The cat deserves someone that will actually put its safety and best interest into action.

No. 412374

>>412372
>>412372
You do realise a lot of people live outside of America and don't have your same ideas about pets, right? In my country it's perfectly normal and considered abusive to keep outdoor-cats indoors.
In fact, in our contract from the shelter where we got our outdoor cats, it actually states we are obligated to let the cats outside when they're adjusted to the area.

>Obviously the owner didn't care enough to not let what is essentially a child out

>comparing an independant predator animal to a helpless snot-monster
>letting cat have freedom = not caring
cats aren't the same as dogs you know

The OP also stated she put a collar on her wich is really annoying for cats who aren't used to it. In fact, it's a safety hazard if she gets stuck somewhere. Guess the OP doesn't care about the cat at all, right?

Still, let's not forget that she stole someone else's cat without even knowing their living situation or anything about them at all.

No. 412375

>>412374
>In my country it's perfectly normal and considered abusive to keep outdoor-cats indoors.
Lol, ok. Most people in my country believe it's okay to keep cats outside. Our professionals and experts don't, however. Unless your pet industry is lined to the brim with weird shills, who, for some reason, want cats outside, I can almost guarantee they'd agree that it's best for cats to be inside, but mentally stimulated, given affection, etc.

>>comparing an independant predator animal to a helpless snot-monster

>letting cat have freedom = not caring
cats aren't the same as dogs you know
I don't like dogs, but I never compared them to dogs. However, as intelligent as cats are, indoor/outdoor cats are socialized and can easily become prey to humans. And again, as intelligent as cats are, they don't know what the fuck a car or an 18 wheeler is. They're clever animals but they're not deathproof. Just admit you're a negligent cat parent defending a negligent pet practice and go, anon.

>The OP also stated she put a collar on her wich is really annoying for cats who aren't used to it. In fact, it's a safety hazard if she gets stuck somewhere. Guess the OP doesn't care about the cat at all, right?

Most people who aren't retarded buy the VERY WIDELY AVAILABLE "safety collars" for cats. If you were a decent cat owner, you'd know that. A cat that isn't used to a collar isn't going to die from not being used to it.

No. 412379

>>412375
>>412375
>Our professionals and experts don't, however.
Again, you assume that because it's this way in the usa, it's like this for every country. Typical Amerifag thinking they're always right and their ideals are standard for everyone.

>Just admit you're a negligent cat parent defending a negligent pet practice and go, anon.

>If you were a decent cat owner, you'd know that.
Go fuck yourself, I'm a great owner and I treat my cats like royalty.
Every time we keep them inside for a coming storm or something they constantly whine at the door to be let outside, they love being outside and it makes them a lot less nervous than being trapped indoors.
And why do you assume I don't know about safety collars? They're still just as annoying for your cat but I guess you only care about keeping them locked up with a pretty collar as a toy.

No. 412383

>>412379
>they constantly whine at the door to be let outside
Man, this. It makes me wonder if the anon arguing against outdoor cats has ever actually had one or is just talking about cat safety in theory. We had every intention of keeping out cats indoors when we got them, but they are RELENTLESS in their pursuit of getting outside. They would do literally nothing but sit at the door trying to escape, they clearly love being outside as much as possible.

I'd rather my cats live a potentially shorter but happy life than a long, miserable life trapped indoors. Considering I live on a quiet suburban street and they don't leave the garden that I've noticed, I'm willing to take the risk to let them enjoy themselves.

No. 412385

>>412379
>Again, you assume that because it's this way in the usa, it's like this for every country. Typical Amerifag thinking they're always right and their ideals are standard for everyone.
I didn't say that. I was explaining that people popularly accept that letting cats out is ok in America, but professionals don't. If you refuse to accept that there are sadistic people in the world that can harm your pet, who is unattended for numerous hours, or you can't be fucked to care about their safety enough to want to limit their exposure to potentially cruel and harmful people, there's just straight up no denying that you're a shit owner. Sorry. Not the shittiest owner, but a bad owner nevertheless. Cats going outside isn't about their ability to feed themselves, but that they're no match to all kinds of predators and disease.

>Every time we keep them inside for a coming storm or something they constantly whine at the door to be let outside, they love being outside and it makes them a lot less nervous than being trapped indoors.

Ok? And? Toddlers whine and cry if they can't lick restaurant tables. Are we going to let them do that too? You're supposed to advocate for the animal and choose for them based on the fact that you're privy to fucktons more information about the world and what can harm them. Most people don't get their cats vaccinated for FIV, and it's an uncertain vaccine anyways, so I'm really glad you're this adamant about potentially exposing cats to lifelong, incurable diseases or a cruel, cold, painful death or suffering. Feel free to dig up the information from your shelter about how it's TOTALLY obligated to keep them outside, btw.

>And why do you assume I don't know about safety collars? They're still just as annoying for your cat but I guess you only care about keeping them locked up with a pretty collar as a toy.

Because your last post was retarded as fuck and said this:
>The OP also stated she put a collar on her wich is really annoying for cats who aren't used to it. In fact, it's a safety hazard if she gets stuck somewhere. Guess the OP doesn't care about the cat at all, right?
No acknowledgement of safety collars, the possibility that OP put a safety collar on the cat, etc. You just straight up said collars are safety hazards, with no recognition of safety collars, or the fact that most popular collars you can buy at the store are safety collars now, or that most responsible pet parents buy them.


>>412383
> It makes me wonder if the anon arguing against outdoor cats has ever actually had one or is just talking about cat safety in theory.
I have 5 currently who were all stray rescues and have had literally countless throughout my life that transitioned to indoor pretty seamlessly.

No. 412386

>>412385
>Toddlers whine and cry if they can't lick restaurant tables.
The temporary whims of a toddler that are forgotten about in half a second are not equivalent to the literal biological imperative animals have to be in their natural environment and behave in a natural way.

If being indoors is unnatural and unpleasant for cats, but they aren't safe outdoors, how is it even ethical to have a pet cat at all? Our cats probably aren't safe, yours probably aren't happy because how the fuck would an animal be anything but miserable indoors all the time We're all stuck between a rock and a hard place here if we have pets, be more reasonable.

No. 412387

>>412386
I don't advocate pet ownership, but cats and dogs are overpopulated and need homes.

No. 412388

>>410647
OP give the goddamn cat back you psycho.

No. 412391

>>412385
>or you can't be fucked to care about their safety enough to want to limit their exposure to potentially cruel and harmful people
since you like to compare cats to children.
So you would keep your child locked up indoors too? Not send it to school? You're from America so I'm sure you're aware of school shooters, best not to send your kids to school because of those potentionally cruel and harmful people.

>Not the shittiest owner, but a bad owner nevertheless.

again, fuck you

>No acknowledgement of safety collars,

>not covering every single detail means you don't know about it and makes you a shitty owner
lol, whatever sweaty

>or that most responsible pet parents buy them.

you assume OP is a responsible pet parent. I wouldn't call a thief/kidnapper responsible

>>412386
>The temporary whims of a toddler that are forgotten about in half a second are not equivalent to the literal biological imperative animals have to be in their natural environment and behave in a natural way.
this.


Either way, people obviously have different opinions on keeping cats inside or letting them go outside but that doesn't mean OP should steal someone else's cat just because she disagrees with their view on that matter.
In this story, OP is the cruel and harmful person people with outdoor-cats should be afraid of.

No. 412393

File: 1558341880421.jpg (94.58 KB, 421x834, 1474308660706.jpg)

the amount of people in this thread chalking up letting a cat run free outside where it's supposed to be as animal abuse

OP give the cat you stole back and anons let your cats outside you fucking freaks

No. 412398

>>412393
right?? this feels like twilight zone territory. and can't not notice the irony of all the not-letting-cats-out posters mentioning psycho people as one of the main dangers lurking outside when op is exactly that kek

No. 412401

>>412398
Except, again, the only instances of "abuse" were brought up by anons claiming it's animal abuse to keep cats inside. What you're experiencing isn't rooted in reality.

No. 412402

>>412393
You can't read for shit, anon. Literally no one said letting a cat outside is animal abuse. The only one who said anything about animal abuse is the lying sperg who refused to back up her claims about how """countries""" consider it animal abuse to keep cats INSIDE.

No. 412403

>>412401
>You can't read for shit, anon. Literally no one said not letting a cat outside is animal abuse
>>412395
>What you're experiencing isn't rooted in reality
LOL
see
>>410651
>the original owner is also an asshole for letting their cat outside

>>410668
>the original owner is also an asshole for letting their cat outside

>>410686
>Never letting my baby outside, the risk is way too high

>Domesticated animals should be kept indoors for their own benefit unless they are supervised


>If you let your cat outdoors unsupervised, you consent to it being attacked by a dog, attacked by other cats, run over by a car, taken by a psycho and killed/tortured, poisoned by neighbors


>>410706
>the owner of that cat was also a dick who clearly didn’t care if their cat got hurt or died

this is 1/4 of the way down the thread, the thread is riddled with posts by freaks that ironically think it's abuse to let a cat outside when it's the total opposite.

No. 412404

>>412403
None of those posts said letting your cat outside was abuse as you guys claimed.

No. 412405

File: 1558343325497.png (650.53 KB, 599x600, Screen Shot 2016-08-06 at 09.0…)

>>412404
except that every single one did…? How does it to feel so wrong and so dumb anon

No. 412407

>>412405
Where, bih? Literally where? Because saying "it's dangerous outside" or "the owner was a dick" isn't "LETTING YOUR CAT OUTSIDE IS ANIMAL ABUSE". You all are seriously some lying-ass hoes.

No. 412412

>>412407
>>412404
>If you let your cat outdoors unsupervised, you consent to it being attacked by a dog, attacked by other cats, run over by a car, taken by a psycho and killed/tortured, poisoned by neighbors

No. 412413

Just wanted to chime in that im another EU fag and unless its the specific breed we have that is a wild cat (essentially the only non-domesticated breed we have) and you live in a more bumfuck-y nowhere situation and not in a central town then yes you're a complete shitstain for letting your very domesticated and bred to be a housecat pet outside. On a world basis letting your cat out isnt anymore dangerous in the US as it is letting it out in the UK, they both will drastically decrease your pets life span. you also open the door for ticks, fleas or your cat simply ingesting something poisonous.
Plus for the straw man anons who lack reading comprehension: OP said she got the cat checked for a micro chip, you're not being clever by bringing it up lol.
You're a lazy owner and instead of waiting until you own a home thats big enough to satisfy all these grandiose ideas of what freedom your cat is entitled to instead you just get one and chuck it out to the streets while claiming its for the best.
Ruining eco systems and killing your cat all in one stone sure must be fun.

No. 412415

>>412413
ty based eu anon.

No. 412416

>>412413
If you live in a place where it would be cruel to let your cat outdoors then you're a complete shitstain for having a cat at all.

>both will drastically decrease your pets life span. you also open the door for ticks, fleas or your cat simply ingesting something poisonous


that is literally just life anon, exposing a cat to the 'threats' of reality is infinitely less cruel then confining it to a long and boring life in a domestic prison.

No. 412417

>>412416
>If you live in a place where it would be cruel to let your cat outdoors then you're a complete shitstain for having a cat at all.
Please read about cats in rural areas getting torn to shreds by hawks.

>exposing a cat to the 'threats' of reality is infinitely less cruel then confining it to a long and boring life in a domestic prison.

Wow, you're so right. Cats bleeding out after being hit in the stomach with a crossbow, dying of rat poison in poisoned food, being killed by a psycho, being ravaged by disease, dying with its head split open or bleeding out slowly after being clipped by a sedan, etc, is all totally much better than living indoors. Do you people even own cats? My cats are happy as fuck and don't try to leave and they were outdoor cats when I got them. They will only stand under my awning, at best. Just because some people aren't dedicated to providing a healthy, exciting indoor environment for their cats doesn't mean all cats are miserable inside. More stale excuses to be lazy and negligent at your cats expense.

No. 412419

>>412417
hilarious and ironic how melodramatic you're being in order to deflect from the fact that you don't let your cats outside which is just about the most abusive thing you can do.

>My cats are happy as fuck and don't try to leave and they were outdoor cats when I got them. They will only stand under my awning, at best.

don't believe you for a second. If you don't ever lets your pets outdoors then they are naturally going to be timid and cautious about going outdoors.

No. 412420

Why do catfags have such a hard time understanding that domesticated animals shouldn’t be let out to roam on their own - either create a run for them or take them on a walk. Why are cats the only animal people would even consider for a second to let run around, even if they’re not in danger themselves they go around killing natural fauna and damaging ecosystems.

Your cat isn’t some wild animal that needs to be let out and free, it’s a fucking domestic pet.

No. 412426

>>412420
Let's not make this a catfag thing. This is legit just retard vs sane, accountable human being thing. I love my cats, do not like dogs, and these people are selfish morons. These people are not catfags as they care little for their cats and aren't bothered by the fact that while they're fucking around on Overwatch, their cat could be dying from licking bufo toads or eating lilies, could be writhing in agony two streets over after having been hit by a car, or attacked and torn to shreds by a dog, and they'd have no clue, because they treat their vulnerable, innocent animal that relies on them for safety like a 32 yo roommate.

No. 412442

Whatever your opinion is on inside or outside cats, OP is still thief.

No. 412444

>>412426
It’s absolutely a catfag thing because no other animal owners froth at the mouth at the idea of not letting their animal roam

It’s like those weird fucking dogfags that get way too emotionally attached to their dogs balls

No. 412445

>>412444
In my experience those are almost exclusively male dog owners

No. 412451

>>412445
too fucking true in my experience as well. my brother wouldn't let my mother desex her small dog, he still pisses all over everything/anything left within his reach, to the point where the floating wood floors in her house had to be removed because of water/piss damage. house reeks, furniture ruined. all because of some imaginary masculinity the owner enforces on a helpless animal. weirdest flex ever and drives me insane.
reminds me of fathers of sons re: the circumcision thing, like "nah cut his dick, he's my boy he's gotta be like me. I'm his dad. A dad. he's my BOY". men are insane.

No. 412471

>>412419
NTA anon but youre a fucking idiot. How is listing the things that can and often do go wrong when you let you cat outside "melodramatic", but calling someone abusive foe not taking these tisks isn't? Every authority on domesricated cats is in agreement that cats absolutely don't need to roam outside to have a high quality of life and it is a horrible idea to let them out. Please just Google it and you will see that every fucking resource will tell you this.

This is another reason I can't stand people who let them outside, it outs you as having never looked into how to actually properly care for a cat. You're just making these decisions that can easily end with your cat dying and calling those who don't "abusive" when this is just cat care 101. Hell, some shelters even ask you if you plan on letting a cat outside and won't let you adopt if you do. But I guess those shelters just want you to abuse your cats, right?

No. 412477

>>412412
Explain how this statement is inaccurate? These are the risks of letting a cat outdoors and if you decide to let your cat out, you are indeed taking them. Ironic hiw you call people who keep their cats inside abusive, but refuse to accept or acknowledge the downsides of outdoor cats.

No. 412479

>>412476
Yeah. Fuck letting your cats roam.

No. 412481

>>412476
If you don’t live in a suburban are there should be no reason with having a cat outside. If you live anywhere near a busy road or somewhere with a lot of dogs, it’s irresponsible. My cats been indoor/outdoor since he was a kitten and he’s 11 now, but we also live in the boonies in the middle of nowhere and the only people who go down our street live on it.

No. 412483

>>412476
My point is that only cats are ever considered for roaming. Hence the catfaggotry.

No. 412486

>>412481
Dogs, coyotes, hawks, disease, wolves, owls, etc, are all great reasons to not let your cat be completely unsupervised and unaccounted for.

No. 412488

>>412444
>>412420
It's because some people don't understand the concept of domestication and see them as majestic wild animals we keep as pets.

No. 412490

>>412486
I guess but he stays in my yard and sleeps on the deck, I’ve never seen him roam farther than that. If he were going off into the woods I’d feel differently but he just likes sunbathing and then he comes inside.

No. 412498

>>412490
Yeah, that's different than roaming. My parent's cat does that too, she never leaves the immediate perimiter around the house.

No. 412500

>>412486
A hawk tried to carry my dog away right in front of my eyes in my suburban backyard and my aunt who lives rurally caught a mountain lion climbing into her yard and giving her dog the "I'm about to kill you" stare. Predators WILL come into your yard. That's one of the reasons why when cats disappear they haven't ran away–if they don't come back very soon, they're not lost; they got killed.
Just saw some idiot on Youtube the other day "avenge" his outdoor cat that got killed by a coyote by going and killing the coyote, as if it wasn't his fault for having an outdoor cat in obvious coyote territory.

No. 412504

>>412471
our local shelter has most cats listed as 'requires outdoor access'. If you don't have a garden to let the cat use they won;t let you adopt.

it's common sense either way. My cat has access to a back garden that is part of a long line of back gardens, he also likes to come to the front garden but he won't go past the gate. so although we live on a very busy road in London he's made it to 14. with a cat with a less cautious character or with a different garden setup I would think again re fences, etc. but when we had to keep him indoors cos he had a pulled muscle and the vet didn't want him climbing outside, we locked the catflap, he basically destroyed it, destroyed every barrier we put up - he was just not going to be kept indoors. for him, it would have been cruel. for other cats, they can be happy inside.

tl:dr it depends on both your cat's character and the safety of your own particular area, there is no absolute right or wrong

No. 412519

>>412420
because the whole point of getting a cat is so that it can get rid of the rats/mice/other disease carrying vermin outside?

No. 412522

>>412519
OK grandma. Lmk when you get back from tending to your mouse infested 16th century Bulgarian chapel. No one uses cats for pest control anymore.

No. 412525

>>412522
they do though?

No. 412530

File: 1558364493938.gif (2.8 MB, 289x393, 1427739658578.gif)

It's priceless that you retards have convinced yourselves that anything other than keeping your cat cooped up is tantamount to abuse because you can what? …make a list of the possible misfortunes it could come by, which can obviously be endless.

Meanwhile, you, the actual abuser of an animal, live and eat in the same space as the box it shits in, where you allow it to walk its fecal matter up and down your kitchen counter tops and bedding while it goes insane.

>>410712
>So you would rather live 90 years completely miserable in prison than 50 years free?
this.

>>412522
>No one uses cats for pest control anymore
so disconnected from reality, but then again so is anyone who thinks it's normal to treat a cat like a goldfish.

No. 412536

>>412530
Why don’t you guys just create spaces for your cats in your gardens so that they’re still safe. I don’t understand, are you guys taking ‘indoor’ cat literally as never ever being allowed outside? Every time I hear the term indoor cat used it has meant that they are not allowed to roam outside of the property.

As for pest control cats don’t differentiate between common vermin and endangered species.

No. 412539

>>412530
>so disconnected from reality, but then again so is anyone who thinks it's normal to treat a cat like a goldfish.
You're actually an idiot. The anon you were caping for literally said "the whole point of getting a cat is so it can get rid of rats", that's how delusional she is. No one gets a cat to get rid of rats that isn't in the 3rd world or generally nearly impoverished, and that certainly isn't the main reason why people are getting cats now. You outdoorfags are really deluded. Are you all Chinese shopkeeps from 1920?

No. 412541

OP is def the asshole but I also call bull

No. 412657

>>412530
>Meanwhile, you, the actual abuser of an animal, live and eat in the same space as the box it shits in, where you allow it to walk its fecal matter up and down your kitchen counter tops and bedding while it goes insane.

Ah, so you ignore all the reasons not to let your cat outside because you think living with a cat is gross. Cool. Thanks for confirming what several anons have said about the motivations of outdoor cat people often being incredibly selfish.

>>412539
Yeah, this anon calling it abusive not to let your cat outside is so delusional I question if she's trolling.

No. 412690

File: 1558391528943.jpg (156.93 KB, 600x600, P227937.jpg)

>>412416
>If you live in a place where it would be cruel to let your cat outdoors then you're a complete shitstain for having a cat at all.
Yes, it would've totally been better for my cat to stay in a fucking cage at the shelter. I live in a country where people literally put cats in cages when they're not at home, you'll not make me feel guilty about not letting my cat enjoy the greatness of the concrete jungle.

Pic related, it's the kind of cage my cat was in at the shelter. No place to hide, lots of noises and smells around her. We thought she was terribly shy at first because she was just so scared. She's a cuddle ball now.

No. 412713

>>412690
>people literally put cats in cages when they're not at home
>I neglect my cat by leaving it unsupervised in dangerous areas

Your way of abusing animals ain't that much better m8.

No. 412795

I went to the vet yesterday and she literally told me cats should be able to free roam outside or they get too frustrated.
Too bad you dense bitches won't even believe a medical professional because you want to keep treating an animal like a stuffed toy

No. 412799

>>412795
Yeah? And my vet says letting cats outside is a death sentence and I had to sign an agreement with the shelter I adopted from saying I wouldn't let my cat go outside. Turns out even the professionals have differing opinions on this, wow, shocker.

No. 412801

>>412799
>>412799
How funny I had to sign an agreement that I would let them outside.
Would you look at that, different opinions…. Give back the cat, OP you bitch!

No. 412806

>>412795
You know there's vets who get paid to overdose an animal with medications because it gives them a salary bonus… The medical field literally has an issue where doctors will have a quota to throw newer medicines at patients. Not trying to sound like an anti-vaxxer, but it's an issue I've personally run into. Some vets only have money on their minds. Whatever vet you dealt with knew it was an opportunity to have your cat come in more often by saying this. Bet your vet didn't think about the possibility of the cat getting run over. Coming home with rabies is okay though, because the cat will be rushed to the vet and get vaccinated.

No. 412823

>>412806
>>412806
Are you kidding? You assume my vet is lying but >>412799 isn't because it just happens to be convenient for your point of view? You just lost all credibility….
Besides most docters here aren't like corrupted American docters. When the operation on my rat failed (she was already 2.5 years wich is very old for a rat) she refused to accept my payment but yeah, she's in it for the money lol.

No. 412824

All you animal mommies sure sound sane…

No. 412831

>>412713
mate I don't put my cat in a cage, that's what she was in when I got her. My cat runs around everywhere inside our house.

>>412801
I too had to sign a paper saying that I won't let my cat outside. It's a matter of opinion and life circumstances.

Can we rename this thread?

No. 412832

>>412831
>>412831
> It's a matter of opinion and life circumstances.

I do agree with this.
My cats are allowed outside because our environment is not dangerous to them (few cars, no other predators) but my friend who lives in an apartment in the city keeps his cat inside wich is logical to me.

No. 412837

>>412832
This. My friend has a 20 year old farm cat fit as a fiddle. My other friend has a young cat that's an apartment cat in the city doesn't go out. My cat that lived until 16 was a stray that still wanted access to outdoors, as she aged she was more reluctant to go out. She got cancer tho and looking into it there were a lot of dangers lurking in the kitchen for my cat too. My mum and I also weren't educated about certain cleaning products being carcinogenic which I feel guilty about now, like my mum would clean up hair balls with detol and my cat would always inspect it afterwards etc.

OP sounds like a dick and knowingly took someones pet that was conditioned well enough for her to take on a low maintenance pet since it has a good temperament. I'm sure the cats previous owners misses it since they're actively trying to get their cat back. Yea you probably have taught them the lesson to be more careful since some cunt has stolen her pet

No. 412856

>>410647
you're a huge fucking asshole you straight up just stole someone's cat and think it's justified because it was outside. are you an actual retard? how do you know how the cats being treated? give it back you insane cunt

No. 412859

>>412831
>It's a matter of opinion and life circumstances.
Agreed. Saying that all cats must be kept indoors is insane without understanding the conditions of where they live.

I live in the countryside and here it's normal for cats to be outdoors. There's a lot of semi feral cats that are kept on farms to hunt mice and rats. Terriers are also used for the same purpose. There's no natural predators here and very little traffic so it's safe.

It should be up to the owner to make the correct choice. While there's always going to be a few that are irresponsible, the majority of cat owners love their pets and will do what's right for them.

No. 412860

If y'all wanna let your cats outside, go ahead. But if it gets hit by a car, mauled by an animal, or goes missing, just remember you made that choice and you accepted those risks.

No. 412869

>>412860
Everyone gets that but OP posted circs surrounding if their an asshole and yes! The other owner hasn't lost their cat because of dogs or cars but because anon wants company because they're too much of an asshole for friends

No. 412964

>>412860
Yeah, they don't care. A pointless warning because unfortunately the animal is the one that ends up suffering for their owner's selfishness. They'll just get another cat to neglect. When really, no other animal is let loose to their own detriment like this. No one tries to justify any animal roaming around, with little understanding of the world, without a protector, but cats. It's actually seriously insane if you think about it. And I've seen and heard so many nightmares from animal control because of the fact that the cats were 'outdoor cats'.

No. 413003

OP is the asshole and there are at least two anons here who live in an area where it's completely possible for them to give their cat outdoor access but instead force it to fester in the dark with them, screeching that letting them outdoors = TOTALY INSANE GUYZ like this rambling >>412964

No. 413012

>>413003
It is insane, you retard. Nevermind the obvious worry about disease or harm from humans or animals, but even if you have enough space, in the US, animal control kills countless outdoor cats every year. 70% of pets, once handed over to animal control, end up being euthanized, regardless of whether or not they have owners, regardless of whether or not their owners can be reached. Their microchips VERY infrequently are even scanned. People call animal control because outdoor cats are "nuisances" and your "outdoor cat" ends up in AC and they legally own your cat if it's not picked up by the end of the holding period, which is only a few days. You no longer own your cat and have no ability to save it, dumbfuck.

Serious dangers don't just go away because you want to pretend they don't exist because you're fucking lazy.

No. 413013

File: 1558471797647.png (143.23 KB, 423x599, Yuu.png)

>>413012
I'm sorry you live in a feline-orwellian themed dystopia where trucks patrol the streets looking to kill cats

No. 413018

No matter whether cats should or should not be outside, that choice is for the owner to make, not for anon. Don't steal cats, there's tons in shelters looking for love. Wtf is wrong with you?!

No. 413030

>>413012
>People call animal control because outdoor cats are "nuisances" and your "outdoor cat" ends up in AC
Wtf is all of America like this or do you just live in a specific shithole locale
Do you people just not have catflaps at all?

No. 413038

>>413030
I live in an expensive area. People literally are calling animal control here over cat prints left on their cabin cruisers. Most of America is like this. Idk why you guys are acting though, like cats aren't mistreated by people in other countries. Cats are seen as pests. Australia is dumping loads of poisoned sausages in an attempt to kill 2 million "feral" cats that they say are otherwise shot or poisoned by civilians that say they're pests. The problem with "outdoor" cats is that stupid people and poisoned sausage don't discriminate and any cat that is unaccounted for can end up a victim of "pest" removal or extermination intended for "feral" cats, but I commonly see strays considered feral, which is sad, too.

No. 413047

so people in america will call animal control to euthanise a cat because it left paw prints on their car, but will mass sign petitions to save dogs that maul children from being euthanised? wtf.

No. 413050

>>413047
Cabin cruisers are like mini yachts for upper middle class people so they're especially huge assholes about their material possessions, but I've personally had neighbors complain and call AC over cats peeing in their yard, cats crying in the middle of the night, cats fighting, etc. Cats aren't seen as lost children like dogs are. They're just considered nuisances by people who dislike them, and if you have an outdoor cat, yours can easily get wrapped up in the effort to control or exterminate "nuisance cats".

No. 413051

>>413050
>Cabin cruisers are like mini yachts for upper middle class people

whoops sorry i didnt know that lol

im glad i lived in a rural area where most people had outdoor cats when i had one. although we did kind of need them because there were so many giant rats and the cats kept their population down.

No. 413146

>>413038
>Idk why you guys are acting though, like cats aren't mistreated by people in other countries.
Sorry you live in such a shithole country that you cant imagine it otherwise.

Nope, cats aren't mistreated here. Everyone knows most cats running around are someone's pet especially the non-shy ones. People allow their children to play with random cats on the street and explain to them why they can't just take the cat home. There are even people without cats who put food outside. Most people in my country generally love cats and it's the go-to pet for most.
Stray cats are being picked off the streets by the shelters and taken care of (vaccinated, sterilised).
Even for feral cats there's a future. People with bigger land or farms usually get some feral cats to catch mice and so that they still have a home. They never come inside or let themselves be petted but at least they have a place to eat and sleep.

No. 413180

Even if you think the owner was irresponsible, the fact that she put up posters, searched around for the cat and even called you proves that she does deeply care about her pet. You don't have the right to determine that she doesn't deserve him just because you knew him for a week.
The outdoor/indoor debate is honestly a discussion for another day (I personally think it's fine to keep your cat indoors as long as they have at least one other cat as a companion - unless you're a shut-in, you'll end up leaving them alone sometime, and the isolation is not good for them). I understand that you care, but it'd be best if you return this woman's cat and get your own, OP. He's not yours.
If it's so bad with his actual owner, he'll most likely just come back to you on his own, since she doesn't keep him isolated indoors at all times. After all, he's been managing just fine wandering on his own until you scooped him up.

No. 413216

this thread is wild lmao keep it up

No. 413219

>>410707
>you consent to being mugged, robbed, run over by a car, get in a car accident, get killed by a psycho, get contagious infections

Your understanding of the word "consent" is a little rusty

No. 413223

File: 1558524060291.jpg (35.48 KB, 602x379, 1541218759813.jpg)

6 days arguing over a fucking cat

No. 413236

>>413223
>200+ posts
This thread is juicier, more dramatic and active than any cow one.

No. 413253

>>413180
There was an outdoor cat that hung around my backyard for almost two years, and I knew the owner and would message her with updates if anything would happen. He was the sweetest cat but he had a sinus issue and left snot all over my patio, he would attack my elderly dog when we would take him out, and he would consistently come back with bad scratches from fights or would even be limping. Every time I would message the owner she would say "I'll look into it" or when I'd tell her about my dog getting hurt "My cat would never attack another dog, he gets along great with my dogs!!" And nothing would ever change, eventually he got skinnier and skinnier and died to feline aids.

I'm not saying that it is right to take someone's outdoor cat, but I can very much understand why OP would. Watching this poor guy waste away right in front of me and not being able to do anything about it was devastating.

No. 413257

>>413253
That makes me so mad, it's just basic pet facts that an animal might get a long with another animal they cohabitate with, but not unfamiliar ones. The fact they won't accept that it's hurting your dog is so shitty of them. That's the other thing that's annoying about outdoor cats, it's not just about the owner and their cat, but it's often a nuisence to everyone else. I was attacked by an outdoor cat when I was little and tried to pet it. It was definitely someone's pet and not a stray because it had a collar. It didn't even try to walk away, just immediately scratched the shit out of my arm when I reached for it.

My parents have a neighbor whose cat would come into our yard all the time and fuck up their plants. The owners of the cat personally witnessed my parents' two large dogs almost kill it one day and my parents straight up told them that these dogs see a cat as no different from raccoons, skunks or any other unknown creature that wanders into the yard and they will attack. The owners basically told my parents to control their animals better.

Like no bitch, that's not how it works. They don't go after cats unless they wander onto the property, which is basically where a dog owner's responsibility ends. Now that you're aware your next door neighbor's dogs will tear your cat to shreds if it goes in their yard, it's on you if it happens.

No. 413277

So this is cat thread now, right?
I do want to know if OP finally decided to be a decent human though but she's probably not following anymore after everyone made her see that she is indeed the asshole.

No. 413332

>>413277
OP here- I came clean and offered her $150 for him, which she accepted. Happy ending for everyone.

No. 413367

>>413332
if true your assumption of her being a shit owner was correct and all of these anons can eat crow because no person who loved their pet would give them up for $150 unless they were on the brink of homelessness

No. 413522

File: 1558597313825.jpg (709.01 KB, 1920x1080, today-on-shit-that-never-happe…)

>>413332
>>413367
Nice roleplaying

No. 453726

>my sister drunkenly sent my husband a bunch of texts about how she's in love with him and how she'd treat him so much better than I do
>he showed them to me this morning and I immediately texted her to tell her she is no longer part of my life and I will never be seeing her again unless it's absolutely necessary like funerals or emergencies involving our parents
>she doesn't even respond but goes crying to my parents who are trying to dismiss the incident as ~a drunken mistake~ and not worth destroying the family over

Am I in the wrong if I completely disown my sister for trying to steal my husband from me, even though it's deeply distressing my parents?

No. 453727

>>453726
how close were you before this? has she ever tried to make moves on your husband? i don't know her personality type. if this is out of character, i would dismiss it, but if not, it's not wrong to

No. 453730

>>453727
We've never been close, but our relationship wasn't awful or anything. She's never made a direct move on him before, but there were a lot of red flags that made this somewhat unsurprising. She commented a lot on his looks and body. Like, if he was in a bathing suit, she'd say things like "I'd eat sushi off those abs" and "what is it like being married to a Greek statue?" She also would play with his hair a lot, would lean up against him on the couch, and tried to be around him alone a lot when she'd come over while barely interacting with me.

No. 453740

>>453730
yeah, that's uncool and really disrespectful, even without this drunken development. how old is she? how close knit are you and your family? you sound like you were mostly in the right if she has been leaving a trail of breadcrumbs in trying to lowkey seduce your husband and wreck the life you've made for yourselves, but i would've phrased it a little differently/explained that her behavior is unacceptable and without an apology and understanding for how disgusting what she did is, there's no place for her in your life.

No. 454627

>>453726
I would've done the same thing, anon. NTA

No. 462351

File: 1568491805682.png (503.45 KB, 493x512, Screen Shot 2019-09-14 at 9.03…)

Am i the asshole for trying to bait my "friend" into not taking her stuff back from me?

At the beginning of the year, I thought I made a new friend. We were the same major and seemed to have a lot in common. I was pretty excited to meet her, but our friendship never panned out and she ignored my requests to hang out.

Then, in the middle of exam week, she expects that I can pick up her belongings for her and store them over the summer because my family lives near campus and she is a Chinese international student. It goes without being said that she is rich and could afford to pay for her own storage. I figure I could do her a favor and arrange for my parents to pick up for the items.

Then at the end of the summer, my parents are wondering what to do with her stuff. After repeatedly messaging her, it turns out she isn't coming back for the semester or perhaps ever, and didn't bother to let us know. I guess she was expecting for us to hold her stuff forever? However, in true Chinese international student fashion, she apologizes by giving us some luxury brand name items. I do admit, they make up for the cost of holding her items.

But idk, she is sooo annoying. She posted this on fb, and I want to tell her off how hypocritical she is for spending thousands of dollars on a brand name education and having luxury items is doing fuck all. She is the kind of person who wants to be an academic and fuck around while not accomplishing shit. She doesn't even like America or Americans so I have no idea why she is getting her education here.

Also, I hope that she gets so mad at me that she doesn't bother asking for her stuff back. Fuck that shit.

No. 462354

>>462351

i want to punch whoever wrote that message in your picture. How obnoxious and pedantic, i would hide the posts of whoever shared something like that.

No. 462355

>>462354
My thoughts exactly! And of course it's coming from a privileged rich person who doesn't do shit too.

>>462351
Just sell her shit anon, you owe her nothing.

No. 462356

>>462354
Yeah sorry for OT but people that have real mental health issues (and not uwu made up ones) should be allowed to opt out of political 'who's more oppressed' talks to preserve some sanity

No. 462357

>>462351
Here's some other dumb shit about my friend:

>Claims to be feminist and constantly complaining about sexism in class. But when a professor was put on leave because of accusations of harassing grad students she got upset. I guess you always believe the accuser unless you like the accused.

>Claims to hate capitalism as a Chinese person, yet she somehow missed all of the terrible things communism did in China. She also misses the fact that almost nobody in China could afford to pay $200k for their kid's education until relatively recently. She reeks of being a champagne socialist who would never give up her cushy lifestyle. She claims to be not that rich, but after not bothering to negotiate a price on holding her shit, I doubt it.

>>462355
lol you are encouraging me

No. 462360

>>462357
>She also misses the fact that almost nobody in China could afford to pay $200k for their kid's education until relatively recently.

I'm guessing her family might has ties with the communist party. Almost all rich kids from my country studying in very expensive universities abroad are related in one way or another to the socialist party in power. Always doubt these people.

No. 462372

>>462351
I'd milk more luxury items out of her, then if she still doesn't pick up her shit, sell it

No. 463197

>>462372
Agreed. If she doesn't care about her own property and is willing to give you expensive shit, just use that. I'm sure she doesn't mind at all.

No. 469836

Am I the asshole for trying to get an autistic guy to shut up about politics?

I'm in this college foreign exchange program with an autistic guy whose special interest is politics. More specifically left wing politics. He's a big communist and "anti-racist." He can't help but bring in his politics to every single fucking conversation it seems.

I'm not white, but I think these kinds of people are annoying as fuck. I've hated Communists for a long fucking time, but recently I've learned that Communists did some awful things to my family that get ignored in America. Also my parents are landlords who rent out houses, and I know these people love to "joke" about killing landlords, which really disturbs me.

I tried to bring it up with some people in the group how annoyed I was, but they said I should be more understanding because he's autistic. I'm not really sure if it's because they are super understanding people or because his views are more obscure and a lot of college students these days are sympathetic to anti-capitalism and anti-racism. I don't think the group cared that much, but I think I came across kind of bitchy. On the other hand, I have the strong feeling he wouldn't get a pass for his disability if he was religious or a Trump supporter. I'm not really sure.

Since we had a trip this weekend, we had a talk where he said he wouldn't bring it up again but I should remind him if he does. I think he is trying somewhat, but it still came up again. So today I bought him aside again and told him that me having to remind him as a woman of color was emotional labor. I think that was kind of a bitchy thing to do but I felt like it was justified.

I'm not really sure what it is I'm bothered about. I think one is that I would come across as a bitch for voicing a legitimate concern and no one else has my back on the issue. The other is that I hate people who are extremely smug about their political views and think they're so much better than the rest of us.

No. 472636

Am I the asshole for trying to get an autistic guy to shut up about politics by playing the race card?

I'm in this college foreign exchange program with an autistic guy whose special interest is politics. More specifically left wing politics. He's a big communist and "anti-racist." He can't help but bring in his politics to every single fucking conversation it seems.

I'm not white, but I think these kinds of people are annoying as fuck. I've hated Communists for a long fucking time, but recently I've learned that Communists did some awful things to my family that get ignored in America. Also my parents are landlords who rent out houses, and I know these people love to "joke" about killing landlords, which really disturbs me.

I tried to bring it up with some people in the group how annoyed I was, but they said I should be more understanding because he's autistic. I'm not really sure if it's because they are super understanding people or because his views are more obscure and a lot of college students these days are sympathetic to anti-capitalism and anti-racism. I don't think the group cared that much, but I think I came across kind of bitchy. On the other hand, I have the strong feeling he wouldn't get a pass for his disability if he was religious or a Trump supporter. I'm not really sure.

Since we had a trip this weekend, we had a talk where he said he wouldn't bring it up again but I should remind him if he does. I think he is trying somewhat, but it still came up again. So today I bought him aside again and told him that me having to remind him as a woman of color was emotional labor. I think that was kind of a bitchy thing to do but I felt like it was justified.

I'm not really sure what it is I'm bothered about. I think one is that I would come across as a bitch for voicing a legitimate concern and no one else has my back on the issue. The other is that I hate people who are extremely smug about their political views and think they're so much better than the rest of us.

No. 472648

File: 1571092513269.jpg (160.2 KB, 1200x1465, 8fa.jpg)

>>472636

You are not the asshole, i can empathize as someone who had to live to the communist holocaust of my country, also, those people are not anti racist, they have an inverse "white mans burden" complex where they feel pocs are little snowflakes that, as dumb weaklings ,need an enlightened leftist white person to protect them from other superior but racist white men. You should see how they react when people from my country tell them communism is bullshit and that they don't know shit, they go full fledged racist in a millisecond and start spouting every stereotype and racially insensitive comment in the book to discredit us. We call it "commiesplaning"

If he is autist and communist theres also a high chance he will troon out. Any minute now.

No. 472650

File: 1571092543155.png (167.72 KB, 680x672, lolcow.png)

>>472636
You're both sides of the same coin

No. 472661

>>472636
You're an asshole for playing a race card, and for ever using the phrase "emotional labor"; but you're right about everything else. For every bad landlord there's a hundred worse tenants. Autistics aren't helped by being mollycoddled. They wouldn't give him a pass if they didn't mostly agree with him. It's your God given right to people to STFU.

No. 472674

>>472636
"I'm offended by communists now I found out they did something bad to my family" kek. I can't imagine functioning on a level of "I'll only give it attention if it has oppressed me in some way historically."

Landlords are complete scum though. Honestly you both just sound like crazy SJWs bouncing off each other because there's nothing new to attack lately.

No. 472679

Here's some other stuff that happened on the bus:

>We talk about travelers (gypsies) with our host. Our host says that travelers tend to be pretty scummy. Autistic guy says, "As an anthropologist I can appreciate the culture of indigenous people." He is an anthro undergrad so he sounds so pompous. I think he thinks on the inside the travelers are so misunderstood, though as an autist he would probably be scammed by them.


>The bus driver has to take a break due to labor laws. Autistic guy tells the bus driver how it's so great that labor laws here are better than the US. The bus driver then replies that she thinks the laws get in the way of her work.


Honestly I think it's hard to be around autistic people. They consistently seem inconsiderate and pretentious.

>>472650
How so?

>>472661
This guy is obsessed with race relations and that kind of crap. I guess it's bad that I lied and kind of bullied him but I think he and his kind encourages that kind of mindset.

>>472674
kek I guess I sound like an SJW but I didn't believe what I told him. I was just trying to make him feel bad.

No. 472680

>>472674

Did landlords do something bad to your family? or are you on the level of shitting on people on issues that do not affect you and don't concern you.

No. 472697

>>472680
Nayrt but landlords did something bad to everyone's family.
OP was right to shut down the political guy but most landlords are exploitative parasites.

No. 472707

File: 1571100525928.png (20.78 KB, 700x700, actually.png)

>>472697

>Nayrt but landlords did something bad to everyone's family.

OP was right to shut down the political guy but most landlords are exploitative parasites.

No. 472884

>>472679
>Honestly I think it's hard to be around autistic people. They consistently seem inconsiderate and pretentious.
That's what I meant about mollycoddling. It's not that they don't care. They just rarely, if ever notice. Keep hammering it into them what is or isn't polite or they'll never pick up patterns.

>"As an anthropologist I can appreciate the culture of indigenous people."

Except not the culture of indigenous Europeans to shit on travelers, lol.

>>472707
>>472697
Enjoy living in a world where landlords don't exist, where renting is not an option. Providing low commitment housing to often scummy people that would rip them off and destroy property in a heartbeat is a crazy risky venture. They walk as close to bankruptcy as everybody else.

No. 472891

>>472650
The dude wasn't trying to sound oppressed though, he was just "ugh I feel so upset about this, let me voice my opinion about this thing" but he does this about every little thing because he's autistic. Mix autists with politics and it's a non-stop pity party, it's annoying.

No. 472892

>>472679
Why is male autism so much worse? I know women with autism and they are normal but introverted… meanwhile men with it are insufferable

No. 472895

>>472892
Might be because women tend to be far more empathetic than men are in general. The -5 penalty they take to their charisma score for having the Autistic quirk is balanced out slightly by a +3 gender trait.

No. 472899

>>472680
landlords are 9/10 exploitative trash. I'm sure it's killing you that you want to be opressed so damn bad but it turns out a throwaway comment yu made about your parasite family puts you in the oppressor role under socialism lmaooo

>>472884
imagine being this stupid you don't realize not all countries function like America. There's ways to keep landlords in check without eradicating them, slow-anon.

No. 472911

>>472899
Tenants depend on landlords for cheap housing, and landlords depend on tenants to match rates. There is no exploiter. It's a symbiotic relationship.

No. 472918

>>472899
Someone unearthed an entire site for landlords where they'd discuss ways to exploit their tenants and suck as much profit out of them as possible. I wish I could find the posts and the screencaps of it, it was fucked.

>>472680
>or are you on the level of shitting on people on issues that do not affect you and don't concern you.
NTA, but
>what is empathy

No. 472922

>>472918
Okay, THOSE landlords were see you next Thursdays. I'll agree with y'all on that.

No. 472938

>>472911
There's a UK TV show called 'nightmare tenants slum landlords' with lots of episodes up on youtube. Shows the two sides of the coin there

Landlords overcrowding (and overcharging for) dangerous properties with fire risks etc

Then tenants who never pay a penny of rent and essentially squat in properties for years while the landlord tries to take the legal route to evict. They often lose tens of thousands as it drags on for a couple years with them never getting the money they're owed. When they finally evict the tenants they then find the house trashed in retaliation?? In the UK at least the eviction process is stupidly drawn out

No. 472956

>>472899
>yu made about your parasite family puts you in the oppressor role under socialism lmaooo

My family lost everything thanks to communist scum, you try having all your life's work stolen by a party thief with a badge and see how you like it, then tell me who are the real parasite.

You save your money and make your investments, rather than looking for ways to mooch and steal the work of from others who already did. The worst thing i can wish to a communist is for them to live under communism.

No. 473031

>>472956
I typed up a whole angry post replying about MY historical trauma but then realized it was caused by socialists too lmao

also my dad was a landlord but he was really nice to who he rented to and specifically worked in low income neighborhoods fixing things up so I think he's safe from the guillotine

No. 473196

>>472884
> Keep hammering it into them what is or isn't polite or they'll never pick up patterns.
I'm wondering why actual autistic people are this way. Why do they need to be told repeatedly what to do?

>Except not the culture of indigenous Europeans to shit on travelers, lol.

But evil white people can't be indigenous!!! lol

>>472956
This guy isn't even poor. His mom is a nurse practitioner in NYC. He would be fucked in various ways if communists ever came to power. I guess autists have simplistic thinking. I've been trying to get more information if his mindset is caused by his disability but I'm not sure.

>>473031
>also my dad was a landlord but he was really nice to who he rented to and specifically worked in low income neighborhoods fixing things up so I think he's safe from the guillotine
lmao are you serious. There is no guillotine, and if there were to be, people don't actually give a shit about that.

No. 473211

>>473031
People’s biggest issue with landlords is that they own more homes than they need, which ultimately fucks up housing affordability for those who do need them. In particular here in Australia it’s fully fucked with negative gearing, I’m not sure what it’s like everywhere else, but it’s such a selfish way to make money that does quite a bit of harm.

No. 473225

>>472636
The simplest explanation is that normal people have brains where there's plenty of connections between both lobes, whereas autistics have brains where there's plenty of connections within each lobe, but far fewer connecting them.

The former configuration helps people think incredibly quickly and intuitively when it comes to complex tasks like social interaction. The latter configuration means that every little detail needs to be slowly and methodically thought through in one lobe alone before results are passed along - often at a slower pace than new stimuli comes in.

Though potentially this has a lot of advantages too, as I know for example, the Israeli army will deliberately scout out high functioning autistics to be trained for top secret intelligence divisions.
https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2016/01/israeli-army-autism/422850/

tldr; What's simple to you can be challenging to them, and what's challenging for you might be simple to them. Ultimately though, it's still on him if he doesn't so much as try to behave as a normal person.

No. 473299

>>472636
White autists sperging about left-wing politics are a special type of awful, and I'm saying this as a liberal. I've been in similar situations and I'm also non-white. Use that race card as much as you need to to make him shut the fuck up.

No. 473338

>>473299
lol left wingers hate liberals like us. But thanks for the reinforcement

>>473225
I see. However, I think the idea that autists are all savants is a myth. There are a couple that are exceptionally good at coding and such. But there are also a lot that are of average or below average intelligence. A lot are drooling retards that are violent.

I really hate how a lot of autists view themselves as having superior intellect to everyone else. But these people don't have what it takes to do hard work to succeed.

>>tldr; What's simple to you can be challenging to them, and what's challenging for you might be simple to them.

I don't think this guy has any special mental capability. I guess he knows a lot of stuff, but I don't think he knows particularly more than me. I know for a fact he's not good at math. Maybe he's good at what he studies in uni but I would have to know about grades.

No. 473345

>>473338
the autist I work with is good at knowing dinosaur and vidya facts and that's where his savantism ends kek. if you try to engage in any sort of abstract convo about those same dinosaurs for example where he'd need to make up shit on his own, he really struggles/just makes aggalmations of things kinda like chris and sonichu. he's high functioning I guess as he went to normal school and can drive, but he's very slow to do anything (almost robotic, even in his gait) and makes weird speech constructs despite being a native speaker, also has a very naive/shallow view of most things. basically, he's like a smart 12 year old but def a 12 year old you know?
another one is closer to savant bracket as he goes to uni for music (then again, so do many non autists so idk fam), but he's far more unbearable socially wrt the aforementioned aspects.

tldr, I think the whole savant thing may be real in rare cases, but generally is a massive cope parents tell themselves and their offspring.

No. 473411

>>473338
I don't think the average autist is going around feeling like a savant. I've met a good number of them through work and they've mostly been average intelligence but low in confidence. These were also ones with harmless 'special interests' though (like trains or hoarding beanie babies) I can see how a higher confidence autist will gravitate to a special interest like politics instead, and spend his days pissing people off

As far as I can tell they simply memorise information on one subject and repeat it

No. 473441

>>473338
I mean, he could always be retarded on top of being a robot, and it kinda sounds like he is.

No. 473457


No. 473851

>>472636
>I have the strong feeling he wouldn't get a pass for his disability if he was religious or a Trump supporter

I worked with someone who was basically that. Strap yourselves in cause this gon' be a ride.

So at the gas station I worked at, a coworker I had was really loud and obnoxious. Avid Trump supporter. He would get REALLY worked up over certain things in the media, like people complaining that women's soccer players got paid less than male ones. He would list all of the reasons it was bullshit and kept ranting and would even bring it up to customers (when we were explicitly told not to talk about politics/religion to customers). He would get worked up over things like this on a regular basis and always sperg out about them. He would make me watch sh0eonhead and PJW videos too, like he would just turn on his phone and put it in front of my face, not even ask me if I wanted to watch it or anything.

He was also racist af towards black people, and would talk about false crime statistics like "black ppl commit 80% of the crime but are only 30% of the population" and had a bunch of other opinions about black people's conflict with cops that I don't even want to repeat (and I never even asked him for any of this, he would just dump it on me).

Another time he told me about how he would watch videos of people dying on r/watchpeopledie because it was "the best way to feel emotion" or something. He would also say sexual things, like he would whinge about how much he wanted an Asian gf (in his words: a hot, short, Asian weeb gf). And then he got circumcised and told me he couldn't jerk off because it made his dick bleed, and another time told me about the burning diarrhea he got from the chicken he ate. One time this customer said something about her husband, then when she was gone he said "it's hard to believe that hawkish looking creature has a husband". And he couldn't figure out why he couldn't get a gf.

He would also yell at me to do things like "CHANgE THE TRASH!!!!!" as if I was a slave (which he called me once).

And this guy wasn't even diagnosed as autistic, that I know of, but I believe he was. You're not the asshole anon, and I really hate how much society has been glorifying autism lately and encouraging us to coddle aspies as if they're special snowflakes uwu meanwhile people with other mental conditions get kicked to the curb as weirdos. There's a whole community of autists on YT who just compare themselves to Einstein, Sherlock Holmes and Sheldon Cooper (as if being like Sheldon Cooper is somehow a good thing) and one channel called "the aspie world" actually called his autism a superpower, when in reality most autists have below average IQ. YT autists also say things that relate to a lot of people but they act like it only effects autistic people, like how going out is hard for them because of dealing with lights, noise, and people. I'm not autistic, but I also hate noise, people and lights. I just don't get a free pass for it so I have to deal with it like an adult.

No. 474222

>>473851
Lol did you work at sheetz

No. 474223

>>473851
>>473851
Lol did you work at sheetz

No. 474225

>>474222
No. It was actually a grocery store gas station.

No. 474236

>>473851
If he wasn't diagnosed then tbh you can't really diagnose him just based on that behaviour, non-autistic coddled men act that bad all the time

No. 474258

>>473851
>American
>racist af to black people
>obsession with East Asia and East Asian girls

Why is this SUCH A THING?! Fuck, why does my country (US) have so many cancerous archetypes floating around?

No. 474260

>>473851
I've seen it mentioned (quite a few times) on here that autism is being glorified

What is this usually referring to?
I'm a non-US anon and where I live people with autism are generally looked on as maybe low IQ and eccentric but that's about it

No. 474264

>>474260
I wouldn't use the term "glorified", but I see both autistic and non-autistic people in the west really exaggerate the positives of autism and downplay the downsides (or use the downsides to present autists as poor victims).
This is done largely by moms of autistic children who are trying to feel less guilty for having autistic kids (not that they should, but they usually do), coddled autistic males who have Magneto-style delusions of being "the next step of evolution" (not joking here, I've seen autistic men unironically say this online), or undiagnosed tumblr "autists" who are roleplaying to feel special.

The media is also to blame for this, they really overplay the savant autist trope and make people think that's the standard for autists. In reality, around 10% of diagnosed autists are considered to be savants.

This ~quirky superior autist savant~ misinformation actually makes it harder for more "normal" autists, usually women, to be diagnosed.

No. 474266

So a couple of weeks ago my grandma ended up cutting me out of her life over something that isn’t my responsibility. Basically, my dad has been homeless and lost everything due to him choosing drugs over getting his life together.

So she called me and didn’t really ask, more like demanded I let my dad stay the night at my place until she could pick him up the next day. I said no, one being he has stolen from me before and I wouldn’t trust him. Secondly, we don’t have a good relationship and I know he would ask me for money and guilt trip me about it.

My grandma got upset(?? it’s not even her place to keep helping him he’s an addict and hasn’t changed) and called me a selfish bitch and blocked me on everything. I couldn’t even call her back or anything.

My point being, am I selfish for saying no? It hurt my feelings that she cut me out over something that isn’t my responsibility. My dad is an addict and has put himself in his own situation.

No. 474268

>>474264
I know that autism rates increase the older that you are when you conceive a child so I've often wondered if particularly frustrating male autists could be doubly bad because their parents didn't have the energy to even discipline a regular kid, never mind a child with unexpected extra challenges

No. 474281

>>473851
>And this guy wasn't even diagnosed as autistic, that I know of, but I believe he was.
Aside from him being the worst person on the planet that hasn't raped a child or committed genocide were there any other signs? Scrotes are often garbage without any excuse at all.

No. 474297

>become known for planting and growing stuff at work
>I bought a small hydroponic set up and grew lettuce, literally nbd but people were really intrigued by it
>coworker in the same general group asked if I wanted to grow plants
>thought my entire team might be into it because a few others inquired about what we might be growing
>decided to grow a few different types of plants
>it was going really well because we would both baby the germinating seeds and check up on them
>eventually we moved everything to a pot–everyone was really happy with our progress
>but like a month in, I realized I was the only one who watered them
>whenever I was gone for (me and the other coworker taking care of the plants have a split shift where the other works the two days we have off) the plants seemed to shrivel
>damage was worse when I hadn't watered the plants within a day or so of my "weekend"
>eventually I stopped watering them altogether
>they all died/started dying

AITA?
Basically, I stopped watering these plants because I noticed the other person who said she wanted to take care of the plants didn't
admittedly, I called her out on this a few times and she said "haha oh my bad" and I figured that she would start watering more
But she never did

Also, when the plants were just about fully dead, I just took them home because another coworker was upset there were gnats (they were attracted to the fertilizer rather than the dead plants, but nevertheless)
I did leave one plant there, which was the plant she was most excited about, but I still question if I made the wrong move at any point.

The worst thing in my mind is that I didn't pay her back for the soil ($5 - 10$), but I'm okay with that because I ordered the seeds and plant pots

No. 474299

>>474266
If that's how she treats her family I can see why he's such a failure kek. Not your fault at all. Zero tolerance for thieves who sabotage their own lives. He will only get better when he genuinely wants to and he is only deserving of pity and help from you if he actually works to redeem himself and prove he is already getting better, staying clean and can be trusted. Also, he's your father, not your child. He's supposed to be the mature one. You have no responsibility to coddle him and teach him how to be a human being.

No. 474303

>>474297
No, it's fine that you recognized they unfairly hoisted extra responsibility onto you. If they just wanted you to bring in plants they should have said that instead of pretending to want to care for them with you even after you reminded them that they needed to actually help. You even left your coworker's favorite plant which was nice of you. And if you want to avoid awkward conversation about how it ended you can just pretend to play it off like "Oh well, caring for plants all together at work like that with everyone's different schedules is just too hard, no biggie!"

No. 474305

>>474266
You're not to blame here. You don't owe your relative anything. Your father is the parent and he chose to make you exist without your consent, entirely out of his own will. You cannot owe anything to him, and you shouldn't feel bad about not complying especially if he's a fuckup that cheats and steals.

No. 474308

>>474297
Tbh this is why I'm always cautious whenever someone takes notice of my hobbies and 'volunteers' my talents in the workplace.
There was never any intention on behalf of your coworkers to be responsible for the plants, they just wanted the novelty of plants around the office without having to care about them or do any of the work. When you lapsed, they didn't pick up the responsibility. Then it became a nuisance to them when the plants died and lost their novelty.

At my call center job I had this dippy older coworker who knew I loved to cook and decided to keep pestering my volunteer to host a "cooking club" among others. She of course had no intention of planning, budgeting, going to pick ingredients, or teaching people how to cook. She just wanted all the fun parts like saying she was a founder of the club and mixing some ingredients together when the time came.
I turned her down, and told her that just because I cook for myself doesn't mean I'd be good at teaching it-which was a half-truth anyway.

It's a total trap to bilk you for work that they would otherwise have to pay someone else to do.

No. 474317

Okay so I’ve been in the same job for around 3 years, same schedule 9-5, no wiggle room. And it makes me slightly paranoid because I’ve had a stalker in the past who left me with a fat case of ptsd that I still struggle with. I worry that if someone wanted to stalk me, it’d be extremely easy. Most of the time I can shrug off the paranoia, but there’s one element of my job that heightens it. Without giving too much away, I’m required to drive a specific route to get to my job, on the way, I have to stop by and collect something for my boss, every single day. I have to get out of the car, go inside, pick up my bosses order, get back in the car, head off to work. No big deal, except for this guy who I see everyday, at first I thought he was a city worker, because he’s always out at the same time and always wearing the same thing, looks like he’s picking trash or something. But I’m pretty certain now, that he’s just some dude, not really doing anything. Last year he started waving to me, when he spotted my car, but I never wave back, or even make eye contact with this guy. This year, I’ve noticed he’s always hanging around where I have to stop before work, sometimes hes just in the parking lot waiting, and I can’t help but assume he’s waiting for me. I never, ever acknowledge this fucker, because by this point it scares me to think what’s going through his head. Well a few months ago, he was in the parking lot and I watched him approach this other girl I see every day, too, I didn’t hear what he said to her, but she said nothing and just got in her car and took off. He kind of turned and started walking over to me, so I made a beeline for the store and made a point to socialize with the employees for much longer than normal, and waited for him to leave, which he normally does once I show up. Right so that was fucking weird, the lady he spoke to, the one that pretty much bolted, didn’t show up for the next week or so, and I had to, but carried the only knife I have in my purse, this impractical fat thing that doesn’t fit in my pockets. I don’t know. The odds of him raping or murdering me are slim but I get this really fucking oily, sick feeling in my gut when I see him. Especially after today. So the next few months pass, he’s still lurking in the parking lot, acting kind of strange, one time I think he fucking was dancing? I don’t know. Another time he yelled at me from across the parking lot as I was getting in my car, said something like “I see you everyday” and started jogging toward me and I noped the fuck out, even made my male roommate drive me to work the next day so I wouldn’t have to be alone. I now carry mace with me but I’m pretty sure I’d never be able to get to it in time if this guy decided to do something to me. Anyway, today, he’s in the parking lot, in the corner, kind of, again, I don’t even look his direction and park a pretty good distance away. I go into the store, pick up the order, it takes a little longer than normal, so when I get out to the parking lot again, the guy is like right by my car, like feet away. And by this point he has to know I want nothing to do with him right? I’ve got my hands full, kind of fumbling with my stupid keys and trying to get into my car before he can say something or get like uncomfortably close to me, but as I’m getting into my car he’s like arms length away. I felt like he was going to slide into the backseat or grab my arm so I threw myself into the drivers seat in a bit of a fucking panic and locked the doors and booked it out of the parking lot. I was kind of still shaking when I got to work, so I told my boss about it. I’m sure I’ve mentioned the “creepy dude” before, but she looked at me like I was overreacting and didn’t really say much so I don’t know. Maybe I’m the asshole. I just get this weird fucking feeling off this guy and I feel like he keeps pushing his luck, trying to see how much he can get away with. For reference, I’m really small for my age, always have been, this guy could easily pick me up or knock me out or whatever. And I get this feeling, every time something like this happens that o should be very aware and careful, but maybe I’m just fucked up and he’s completely innocent, like I said, I struggle with ptsd so it’s hard to know what’s a real threat and what’s conflated in my mind. Am I the asshole?

No. 474356

>>474317
You're constantly giving off ALL of the signals that say "don't talk to me" other than wearing a shirt and holding a giant sign that directly state it
Guys, unfortunately, don't pick up on this stuff as easily–but that's not your fault
You're not an asshole for feeling uncomfortable, common courtesy is nice, but it's not common entitlement. You don't owe him anything and I hope you stay safe just in case there is an issue, but even more so, I hope there's never an issue

I hope you're able to explain yourself in a safe way

No. 474366

>>474317
i'm dealing with an almost identical situation rn escalating in the same way yours has. you're not at asshole at all, that guy is a fucking creep to the extreme and you have every right to be fearful. have you tried telling the store employees about him, maybe they have security they can notify? maybe they can provide camera footage so you can file a police report? maybe your boss can pick a different store to order from, or use another location of that chain? stay safe!!!

No. 474367

>>474236
>>474281
this is true, but I still believe he was probably on the spectrum. all conversations with him were one-way conversations where he would get really worked up over a subject and talk and talk and talk about it without letting you get a word in, and even when he wasn't worked up about something you still couldn't really have a normal conversation with him. he seemed completely blind to cues too and would say sexually inappropriate things without realizing they were inappropriate which is a common symptom of aspergers.

my ex boyfriend (who knew him too) also believed him to be on the spectrum and my ex knew several other people who were actually diagnosed as being on the spectrum.

but then again, he was a man.

No. 474377

>>474299
>>474305

Thank you, I just also deep down want him to change his ways though. Highly doubtful he will, he stole money and my own medication from me too(four years ago when I lived with my grandma for a bit). I had to sleep with my medicine underneath my damn pillow(Adderall) because he stole a months worth while I was at work.

My grandma knows all of this and couldn’t understand why I flat out said no. I have my shit together and he can’t even stay clean long enough to hold a job or save money. It’s all messy and I want no part of it, but it shows a lot that she just cut me out like that.

Sorry for sperging out.

No. 474440

>>474317
Yeh you're not being paranoid, he's trying to fuck with you, at least mentally. You need to come up with a solution to stop having to interact with him. Talk to the employees at the place, your boss, something. Btw if it came to something physical the knife isn't a good idea, that's the kind of thing that just winds up with them using it against you, you would probably be easily disarmed. Pepper spray is a better bet for self defense.

And this is easier said than done but try not to show any fear of him and be confident.

No. 474444

>>474356
Something similar happened to me at uni. I ended up getting stalked horrifically until the professor had to step in and file a report. Dude was eventually expelled but I was told to call the police ifhe followed me to the parking lot.

Don't try to be polite, it isn't worth it. I was polite and it didn't mean a damn thing when he tarted following me after class.

No. 474533

File: 1571495505293.jpg (286.97 KB, 2048x1152, IMG_20191011_023229.jpg)

Am i a bad/toxic friend? A friend broke up with me quite recently and i kept dwelling over it…pls no bully, i just want to know what i did wrong
>she told me that i spent my money recklessly because i wasted it once where i bought a figurine that costed ~60$ for some meme
>critial of s/o art because i dont want to make the same mistake and they were quite a cow in the community
>i didnt want her help once and bother others instead
>told me i was an extremeist
>didnt pull me back because she cant seem to "fix" me
>told me i have high expectation of others and left where they dont meet it
>Originally broke up with me because i was boring, yet when i rant abt it once she lost it and then list them above.
The sad thing is i didnt even see the fault in our friendship and on her, but she saw through mine like she held on to it for so long

No. 474545

>>474317
Kind of bad that your boss is female but wasn't more understanding of the situation, I mean most of us know exactly the kind of concern you're feeling right now

No. 474572

>>474317
holy shit anon
please trust your gut instincts, there's a book called "the gift of fear" which is constantly recommended to people who are like you/have been in a similar situation. Seriously, you need to trust your instincts with this.

No. 474575

>>474533
I don't get half of this

No. 474581

>>474575
Well basically she broke up with me with very innocuous reasons, guess she held it in for quite a while and i cant see it…

No. 474634

>>474317
Can you have your roommate confront him? Even with whatever mental illness he no doubt has, a stern talking to by someone physically intimidating could be all that's really needed to set him straight.

No. 474754

>>474581
Had that happen before anon, an ex friend broke up our friendship in a very hurtful way bringing back silly comments or actions I had said or done years ago that I apologized and didn’t even remember, she’d had done far worse things to me and I would just forget about them and never treat her differently. I must say I never did anything to her while she did to me, she’d hold me to some standard and felt she had the authority to correct me and hold me accountable even if the things had nothing to do with her. At the end I realized it was another form of manipulation and control on her end and I realized she didn’t love me or care for me in the same way, in fact she was holding me down and jealous of me, I decided to no longer tolerate it and she went on full narcissistic rage, told me to kill myself and other awful things, while I just kept stoic which made her rage harder. You’re better off from such people I know I am. It gets better, hugs xx

No. 475513

>>474754
Thank you anon, after reading your comment made me felt so much better. Although she didnt do anything bad to me yet but i still felt a little betrayal from her side, i definitely can relate on the jealousy part though cuz before she broke up with me she eventually told me that she was always felt like she was the underdog in our friendship… i was doing all kind of things that she wanted like following my dream as an artist, taking a digital art class, studying Japanese and was the friend with better things. I always love and respect her but after seeing her reeing when she saw me rant abt it i finally see her true colors, mean and petty not the sweet and kind friend before like i always imagine. If she loved or care abt me she could have fix our friendship not drop me like a hot potato when she saw just a little bit of flawed inside me and made me wonder if im the bad person in the first place. Guess she was just making excuses for her shitty behaviour, im getting better now thank god.

No. 475542

>>472891
Yeah, I agree with this. I totally understand politics-fatigue, but I probably sound like this to my coworkers/friends just on the basis of reading keeping up with current events. For me it's just a constant low-grade anxiety of like "hey you guys are seeing this too, right? this is crazy right?" and the more apathetic people seem the more you feel like you need to talk about it. I assume with autism this impulse is 10-fold. However this is usually only the case when I work with a lot of middle aged white ladies whose only "news" source is shock jock radio in their SUV on the way to work. When I work with people closer to my age they're usually also vibrating with anxiety, so your stress is validated and we don't need to talk about it really. I definitely sympathize with politics not needing to be a part of every single discussion though, it's a very "read the room" instinct which this dude probably doesn't have.

No. 475613

>>474317
Get a gun. Fuck that dude. Human intuition is one of the most powerful indicators we have, it can be wrong but it's incredibly reliable. Or ask your room mate to drive you every day.

No. 475898

>>410647
Autism.

But in a good way, because you will keep that thing mostly inside, I hope.

It gotten to the point that I consider people with pets to be 100% subhuman. I still find them cute on videos just like any other person, but if you own a pet and bother other people with it, kys.

I have this…interesting neighbor. She walks around with pride with her dog. I see her taking out her dog where everyone's garden is, just like most of the subhumans who deserve the rope do here. Aside from the fact there's a huge neat dog park very near, she lets him shit in my garden always, even that one time when I was busy with mowing the grass.

I used to take walks, that was until I saw that same woman every time with her dog unleashed. And he barks and growls really loud at me every time and it gives me a damn headache, he also once licked my foot when it was ruptured, and bumped it with his retarded head really rough, and when I told her that she should walk him on a leash, she said that he doesn't like that and that she can't control a beast.

From that day on I am hungry when I see him. It's sad eating dogs and cats is illegal but eating useful much better animals isn't.

AITA leddit?
>>475613
A gun is not legal everywhere anon.
>>474317
The common sense to do is to record him 1 week straight and to give this material to the police. Don't post it online though, you want it to leave you alone. Talking with it is useless, you already made it clear and you can't punch that freak.

No. 476023

File: 1571846701308.jpg (82.66 KB, 630x630, 2894524_0.jpg)

>>474317
You're not the asshole, but you do seem like the idiot? From what you're saying here it seems like you've had ample resources and time to deal with this problem, but instead are going "idk guys :////" and not handling anything. As someone who's legally dealt with stalking it's a huge pet peeve of mine when people just go "omg he's like stalking me!!". Ok? So then do something about it instead of just complaining, it's not going to go away on it's own because people are monsters.

>I now carry mace with me but I’m pretty sure I’d never be able to get to it in time

Then take it out of your purse and have it in your hand as you're walking
>but carried the only knife I have in my purse, this impractical fat thing that doesn’t fit in my pockets.
Then get one that does fit in your pockets. Hardware stores usually have a great selection of pocket knives, but you can even find them just at Walmart for <$10. Both of these issues are easily fixed. What's the point of even having these things with you if you don't actually arm yourself with them ahead of time?

I'm not trying to be the asshole here, but you're clearly letting yourself be walked all over in this situation. I'm also someone who's had to get a restraining order and deals with that trauma, but I also keep a knife on my car keys and make sure I carry them in my hands when I'm walking somewhere I feel uncomfortable, even to the point where I'm carrying my keys by the knife for quick unfolding/accessibility. If you've been going to the same place every morning for 3 years, why haven't you asked the employees "Hey, what's the deal with that guy out there every morning? Do you know him?" or had them walk you to your car? If it's a corporate office building you're going to, they have security guards, have one of them walk you to your car or alert them of the situation. It sounds like your boss is an asshole, but also if you've been doing this for 3 years and are just now half-heartedly bringing it up of course he's gonna think you're overreacting because he doesn't understand the gravity. You need to tell him the full extent of what's been happening and how unsafe you feel, be an advocate for yourself. At the very least say "Get the fuck away from my car or I will call the police", take pictures/video of him waiting by your car and then call the police either way. When I had to get my restraining order even though I had a mountain of evidence, I could not just take that mountain of evidence and trade it in for a restraining order. I had to make at least one police report ahead of time to show that this was something I had taken action on before. If you stab the guy and just say "no but he's been like stalking me for 3 years dude trust me" to the police without any proof or previous documentation you're gonna look like the asshole. If you get stabbed/murdered/kidnapped/whatever and the only lead they have to go off of is your room mate and your boss saying "it was this dude that was in the parking lot but uhhh I don't know his name or face that well or anything about him", that's not super helpful either, because that dude's not gonna be in that parking lot anymore. Take pictures of him. File a police report. Leave a paper trail. Establish with your boss and the employees of this place that this is a concern. For all you know he could be harassing other employees there too. Take it to HR, record yourself making the complaint to your boss if you have to (legally, review the consent laws in your state). Stop being complaisant in your own harassment when you have the tools to fight back.

For what it's worth, when I took my mountain of evidence + my police report to the government worker lady to file it, she was super dismissive and basically said I was overreacting and said stuff like "I mean my ex-husband does that stuff all the time it's not a big deal lmao calm down" (I had met the guy when I was a teenager but barely knew him or ever spoke to him, an acquaintance of an acquaintance. This happened when I was 20 or so and probably 100lbs and he was almost 40 and had been recently involuntarily hospitalized for schizophrenia) so unfortunately your boss isn't unusual in that regard (again, people: monsters). But when I filed my initial police report and when I pushed through and got to court both the officer and the judge were pretty immediately like "Yeah for sure 1000% this situation requires a restraining order" (people: occasionally not monsters). I know it's easy to feel like you're overreacting, but think of it this way: I was about to move which would have likely solved my problem but it was important to me to establish a paper trail not just for myself, but for any future women this dude may harass. You're probably not the first or last person he will do this to. If the next woman complains to police and they look at his record and there's a clearly established pattern of harassment, you're helping strengthen her claim and making it that much harder for her to be dismissed as "overreacting", which could possibly save her life. Even if you get away unscathed you don't want to see his face on the news one day having murdered some girl and think "I could have done something, I should have said something".

No. 476093

Am I an asshole if I don’t tell friends of mine I have a child and husband? I don’t talk about martial status, there isn’t any relationship going on.. etc. I just don’t want to talk about my family life. I like the break from my family since it’s a hobby of mine. We don’t hang out outside of a designated spot every so often.

No. 476102

>>410647
You are not the asshole. Outdoor cats are a stupid idea. When I was a kid we started feeding this cat we thought was stray/abandoned. Beautiful calico long-hair, but declawed and fixed. My mom ran the HOA so she put out a bulletin asking if anyone was missing a cat like that, and bingo, someone from the other side of the neighborhood was. They said she was an "outdoor cat" and that she had 4 or 5 others and gave them all plenty of food and took care of them- clearly not.
That Fall, we noticed she was injured from fighting, so we took care of her cuts, took her to the vet, and got her matted hair chopped off and took her inside. The owner was pissed but never did anything besides general passive aggression about it. We offered to return her if she was kept inside (this was in the dead of a midwest winter) and the neighbor said this was none of our business and all of their cats did fine. We just kept her, as we all had grown quite attached and put significant money into her vet/grooming bills. Some people will actually just adopt cats, declaw them, and let them fend for themselves outside, and not care when they don't see them for days. If they aren't taking care of it, the cat's better off in your care anyway.

No. 476103

>>476093
It would be weird if you denied it when asked, but I wonder how you could even become friends with people without them knowing basic facts about your life/living situation. They sound more like acquaintances. Not an asshole either way. Just sort of odd.

No. 476114

>>476093
Nope. What could anyone even say?
"How dare you not divulge your marital and family status!"

No. 476115

>>476103
Just don’t want them knowing/involved/ since I use this as my free time to escape, and they’re somewhat more than acquaintances. Thanks for the perspective.

No. 476118

>>476093
not really it's a bit odd and could be interpreted as you being ashamed or wanting to cheat though by some people.

No. 476306

>>476115
What are you rambling about? Free time? People hang out with others in their free time. They aren't going to hang out with your family, they'll hang out with you. How old are you?

No. 476319

>>476306
Younger than 30.. I’m not sure I just feel weird that I’m hanging out with people when I have a child sorry.

No. 476369

>>476319
I'd be very weirded out and wary if I found out someone I consider a friend and hang out with regularly neglects to tell me they're married and have a child.

No. 476466

>>476369
Even if no one else talks about their home life and just comes to this place once in a while, talks, then leaves?

No. 476468

>>474533
not a bad person but a bad friend imo
you sound self centered tbh

No. 476643

My boyfriend keeps fucking showing me weird hentai shit that's obviously schoolgirls and defending his friends who do it too, but the former is what gets me the most. I'm a csa victim who was also groomed with lolicon and every time I express upset with him for that he gets pissed off and says something along the lines of "This is why i don't show you anything."
I love him so much but he never gets this and brushes it off as him being moody or some shit I'm literally crying in the bathroom because I feel like it's all my fault for being upset. It's not right??

No. 476647

>>476643
"dump him" is usually a meme response but for FUCKS SAKE DUMP HIM

No. 476653

>>476643
>I love him so much
He clearly doesn't give a fuck about you though, so why are you wasting your time with a pedophilic piece of shit?

No. 476654

>>476643
You are not the asshole, anon. That shit is gross. Does he know about you being a csa victim and being groomed with lolicon?

I'm not a victim of csa but my ex had a serious porn obsession and was into loli shit too. Whenever I told him it bothered me he would just act like I was trying to make him feel bad/kinkshaming him. I hate that men act like this.

No. 476660

File: 1571979503255.jpg (172.58 KB, 1241x801, IMG_20171120_074119.jpg)

>>476643
Good heavens, would you look at the sign!

No. 476679

>>476643
Replying to my own post to save replying to a bunch, but I just… he's so good besides this and I KNOW it's because anime has brainwashed him. He went off on me about how it's all fictional none of it matters and then his mindset is most people who sexualize minor characters are just selfinserting aa highschoolers ans just want to be young again and shit and that's SO uncomfortable to me, and he also doesn't understand how aging up a character that's like 15 isn't creepy either.

I really really don't get it all I want is for him to not bring up cartoon child porn and understand my uncomfort. If he did everything would be okay.

No. 476687

>>476679
>my boyfriend is totally great and perfect except for insert evil thing here
Classic. Most men would be perfect if not for the blatant hatred of women and attraction to children.

No. 476690

>>476679
Are you dating my ex? Cos that sounds exactly like him. Perfect in a bunch of ways but obsessed with nasty hentai shit including lolis, said the same things about "self inserting" etc.

Even if he stopped bringing it up, you'd still have to live with the fact that he watches it. Ask yourself if you're really okay with that.

No. 476693

>>476643
Anon I'm a degenerate porn addict and even I can tell you to dump that manipulative fucker. Your love will not "fix him" and if he doesn't respect you now enough to stop forcing this stuff upon you, he will never be better. It's not your fault for being "too sensitive", it's your boyfriend being desensitized and cumbrained for not realizing that flaunting your school girl porn in front of your traumatized girlfriend isn't okay.

No. 476699

>>476679
"It's fine if he watches child porn, I just don't want him to talk about it to me"

>>476693
>the problem is your boyfriend being desensitized and cumbrained for not realizing that flaunting your school girl porn in front of your traumatized girlfriend isn't okay.
Yeah that's the problem. Not that he watches it in the first place.

No. 476705

>>476699
>Yeah that's the problem. Not that he watches it in the first place.
Well, practically yes. If you're going to dig through all the stuff people do in private and only cherrypicking those who don't have sick fetishes or do anything else that's dubious (like posting on a gossip board dedicated to stalking people), you're going to be a very lonely person tbh. Unless the boyfriend is watching actual real life CP that should be reported to the feds, it's still not illegal, just gross, especially the way he forces it upon his girlfriend.

No. 476712

>>476705
>If you're going to dig through all the stuff people do in private and only cherrypicking those who don't have sick fetishes or do anything else that's dubious (like posting on a gossip board dedicated to stalking people), you're going to be a very lonely person

posting on a gossip site is as bad as watching cartoon child porn… alright then.

and no shit, no one's perfect. but there are a lot of "sick fetishes" out there that are not nearly as bad as lolicon. yeah no one's perfect, but there are lines to be drawn. that's like saying dating someone who broke into a car once would be the same as dating someone who committed multiple murders and sexual assaults. you'd have to only ever think in extreme black and white terms to justify to yourself, and judging by your comment it looks like you might think that way.

also I don't care if lolicon is legal, that doesn't make it any better. the problem is that he is sexually turned on by imagery of CHILDREN being portrayed as sexual objects (even if they're ~technically super mature because they're actually hundreds of years old but haven't aged uwu~) and who knows, he might even want to fuck actual children but doesn't want to get arrested. lots of pedos love lolicon. if someone is okay with their s/o watching that then to each their own I guess, but ew.

No. 476714

>>476712
I don't think you're in the place of preaching about "black and white thinking" when you think being attracted to cartoon teens (as the original anon described the characters being in high school) and self-inserting into their world as their equal is the exact same as masturbating to lolicon and fantasizing about abusing small children as an adult. Quiet down your spergery.

No. 476716

>>476714
she didn't describe cartoon teens though (as if that's leaps and bounds better). she said "people who sexualize minor characters". last time I checked minor could be anyone under 18. also she said she was groomed with lolicon, if what he was watching wasn't in any way lolicon then why would it upset her?

and yeah I'm sure everyone who disagrees with you is a sperg.

No. 476797

>>476466
are these people even your friends then?

No. 477731

File: 1572193115545.gif (467.55 KB, 500x500, source.gif)

AITA if I said no to my moms pancake offering?
We were at brunch together and she asked if I wanted to try her pancakes and I said no because I didnt like pancakes. She said that she felt my anwser was to harsh, she just wanted me to say "no thank you" instead of saying I didn't like pancakes. She then said she felt rejected by when when I said no and that I should say yes because its the kind thing to do. She next said I should feel comfortable around my family because their the people I'm closest to and I should feel safe sharing my emotions with them. She also went how she feels like I'm closed off from her and that Im overly aloof with my family. She finally said that people would think Im weird for saying no to food offerings.
I feel bad because I should know better at this point. My parents offer to do something for me (asking me to try their food or offering to buy something for me) and when I say no they get irritated and go on the rant my mom gave. Like my dad has been pissed of four 3+ hours because I refused to let him pay for a book. I guess I should just suck it up and accept their offers, but doing that's what got me in that problem. If I said I hated pancakes when I'm younger my mom would go on a "cooking takes lot of work and you don't appreciate that" rant so I ate them without complaining. This happened in the rest of my life so I just sucked it up and went with it. So when I tell them I don't like pancakes or other food now they get mad and think Im lying to them to make them angry, which I've dome before, but now they assume anything I do that makes them angry is on purpose.
The way they get so angry over nothing makes me feel like I'm so autist who can't get basic social clues. Am I the asshole?

No. 477737

>>477731
>"you should feel comfortable around your family because they're the people you're closest to and you should feel safe sharing your emotions with them"
>say you don't like pancakes
>"No not like that"
You aren't. Your parents are weirdly sensitive and controlling.

No. 477778

>>477737

Seconding this anon. If this didn’t sound like it is a common occurrence for you, you could brush it off as emotions and people being dumb, but imo they’re guilt tripping you into letting them control you and your emotional reactions. Sounds like a possible cultural issue as well but apologies if it isn’t.

I live with someone like this and they’ve done similar things to me so you’re not alone. For example:

>omg we love you, you’re my granddaughter i would jump in front of a train to protect you uwu


Asks for my opinion on something like the landscape in our garden, gets an honest answer (our garden is ugly and we have a big house that needs a better design):

>fuck you bitch!!! You don’t know what you’re talking about!!! I’m an engineer! I have 55+ years of experience and you don’t have shit! Get out of my goddamn house!!!

No. 477795

>>477731
Nope, but your mom is though. You said you don't like pancakes, which means in the future she won't have to offer them to you again and if she does she shouldn't be disappointed when you say no again when you remind her you don't like pancakes. It's simple!
I don't like sweets, no one offers them to me anymore after I tell them I don't like sweets, so more for them! It's a win-win situation here. I don't get bothered and they can enjoy more.

No. 485440

My teacher showed us a corporate ad and she praised the message for rejecting factory farming and depicting a cartoonish alternative. She asked for thoughts and I said that we shouldn't trust the ad to completely prove that a company is good because they're using buzzwords that aren't regulated to seem better. She called me cynical and started saying weird comments like, "Oh I guess we should give up". I said no, trying to improve is good but I don't trust the message. Overall she had her last say, misrepresenting my thoughts as all or nothing. It was a fucking chipotle ad. I left it and felt kind of embarrassed. Maybe I should have said nothing at all because it made for a weird situation in the classroom? Maybe I was "that kid", but I really felt the need to voice my thoughts. AITA?

No. 485448

File: 1574310983922.jpg (294.62 KB, 1280x818, JEWUFqJuRS8.jpg)

>>485440
>My teacher showed us a corporate ad
>It was a fucking chipotle ad.

the absolute state. Soon enough you´ll have your social score lowered for arguing with the corporate woketard posing as an educator

No. 485461

>>485448
The drawing doesn't go with this at all. I don't get what the sunglasses have to do with it? Whoever made this should've made him look like themysteriousmrenter or made him look more obvious.

No. 491689

Am I the asshole for not being totally honest about a gift?

Yesterday I was giving my friend a small going away gift. I bought a $2.50 bookmark and a $1.50 small notebook. Turns out I lost the notebook and started panicking, looking everywhere because the bookmark was too small of a gift. Luckily, I had bought a scarf on a whim for another friend. I acted like I had bought it with her in mind, and my friend loved the gift. What a close call. I feel a little scummy for not being totally honest but I feel like this is for the best for everyone. Also, I bought the gift without expecting that my friend was going to buy something back either. I feel like it's 50-50 right now that she will, though I'm not getting my hopes up.

No. 491693

Am I the asshole for not being totally honest about a gift?

Yesterday I was giving my friend a small going away gift. I bought a $2.50 bookmark and a $1.50 small notebook. Turns out I lost the notebook and started panicking, looking everywhere because the bookmark was too small of a gift. Luckily, I had bought a scarf on a whim for another friend. I acted like I had bought it with her in mind, and my friend loved the gift. What a close call. I feel a little scummy for not being totally honest but I feel like this is for the best for everyone. Also, I bought the gift without expecting that my friend was going to buy something back either. I feel like it's 50-50 right now that she will, though I'm not getting my hopes up.

No. 491718

>>485461
Are you crazy? It's Movie Blob. He's the poster boy for consoomerism.



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