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No. 2572581
A thread for venting about difficult, weird, or stupid stuff going on in your life.
Previous vent thread:
>>>/ot/2558523Follow all the /ot/ board rules & do not reply to bait.
Please, do not come to this thread to make fun of anons' vents, to demean them, or to try and be funny with some shit snark reply. It's annoying. If you do not have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. No. 2572878
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i hate being a neet so bad but i dont actually want to do anything and never liked anything so i cant even pick a career to get out or something im going to kill myself i cant stand it anymore
i thought i was just being lazy when i started to feel like this as a teen and i remember thinking i would eventually come up with some career to pick and suddenly love working and studying but then the feeling of never wanting to do anything never left i feel so useless and stupid and retarded
i dont even want to go out ever not even to buy groceries and dont want to be seen at all i just started feeling like i cant go out at all and i cancelled a plan with friends but its not like they text me at all so fuck them ig its only worth texting me when they want to complain about random bullshit
also i fucked up a bread recipe yesterday everything sucks
No. 2572916
>>2572878i feel the same and people always say "just get an easy job" there are
literally no easy jobs near me theyre all fucking taken and the only jobs avaliable are the shittiest most desperate overworked positions you can imagine. i worked a job like that for 2 years and was suicidal literally everyday im not doing that shit ever again. its not even worth it because it pays like 12$ an hour too like what the fuck am i going to do with that lmao
No. 2572926
>>2572892With front counter type jobs, it's mainly face-to-face and phone interaction, keeping track of appointments, reporting to management and mail handling. Sometimes preparing invoices/processing payments.
Did such a job, will confirm much stress.
No. 2572932
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>>2572889>>2572916op and tbh i did try to get a job and applied for stuff that didnt even ask for experience but i never get called, im guessing not announcing they're asking for experience doesnt actually mean they dont consider it. At this point, i think having zero experience plus no degrees just means im fucked forever
Either way i hate having to talk to people or having people talk to me so i cope by thinking i wouldnt have lasted long anyway
No. 2572954
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>>2572938thanks for the advice anon but i dont think ill be able to try again for some time since im currently not feeling like going out at all so not really thinkg about the big adult thing to do
but it does makes sense i never got hired since i stuttered and couldnt look at the employers
No. 2572981
>>2572959I wish he was, but nope. He decided to lose his job instead. Thankfully his family is on my side and has helped me so much. It'd probably have gone off the deep end without their help
>>2572948Thankyou nonna. I just can't fathom why someone would hurt somebody that is carrying their child/children.. then he had the audacity to assume he'd still be apart of their birth. Nope
>>2572941You made me laugh nonna thankyou, he really is a disgusting piece of goat anus.
No. 2573013
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Being friends with someone who lacks any ounce of accountability is tiring. I am beginning to resent who I thought was a close friend. All the time people got mad at her are starting to make sense now and I’ve realized that she was always the one in the wrong. She’s way too possessive and if you don’t react in the way she wants to and support her then she gets offended and starts acting up as if you have attacked her.There’s no point arguing with her kek, I just gave up and said “yeah yeah, you are right, I understand”.
As much as she says she’s mature she doesn’t accept an opinion different from hers and will always try to make you change her mind.
I don’t give a rat’s ass about fucking men and getting “fucked” won’t resolve my “trauma with men” and you are no one to come up to me and tell me that I should resolve my issues with therapy, who the fuck do you think you are? Therapy doesn’t seem to work for you since it just enables you like a retard, your own therapist encouraged your own cheating kek.
I am not cheering up at the nth time you talk about begging the scrote who doesn’t want you for sex or bragging about going to bed with another woman’s man.
I think I’ll just keep her for now, but I’ll develop a closer relationship with other people and then ditch her slowly by slowly. I wish I never became friends with this retard, but she basically stalked me and followed my same route going home and made it seem accidental because she so badly wanted to be my friend (discovered it like a year later). Crazy bitch.
No. 2573015
>>2572981Yeah kill him nonna, say that it was post- partum or something kek.
If I ever became a law maker I would absolve pregnant women who kill their cheating partner. Your honor, he made her do it! She was in a vulnerable space and she was just protecting herself, she couldn’t discern right from wrong! She felt in danger!!!
No. 2573199
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Being in your 30's and having the reality of city expansions hit you like a truck is such a weird feeling. It's not like it's new to have forests I used to run around in, play faeries or have sword fights with friends in, cut down and turn into ugly houses. I learned to deal with it in my early 20's, and understand that whatever forest walks I may have access to now is only temporary unless I move out into the middle of nowhere. The scenic route you use for your daily jogs might be a row of ugly designed apartment buildings in a couple of years, you don't know. It hit me even harder when I drove by childhood friend's house, and realized the entire area had been bulldozed and turned into apartment blocks.
But the urbanization is also really felt when you go further out to the countryside, I visited the farm my close friend's husband's family have belonged to for a hundred years that they are now shutting down because they can't make enough money off the grounds to keep up with today's cost of living anymore. Because they haven't been able to make enough money to hire helpers they haven't had the time nor ability for the upkeep of the rest of the grounds that isn't only the farm itself. Having spent several summers there with them when we were in our early to mid-20's - partying, bathing in the lake, just enjoying summer in every way - it felt so sad seeing how it all was falling apart. The forest have trees that have toppled over during storms and just left there, bridges and piers are falling apart from tree rot, the rentals we used to have sleepovers in are now water damaged and not livable. It was all so sad to see, but even more so for my friend's husband who grew up there together with his brother.
It's weird to walk around the forest and remember how we would drunkenly stumble around there, taking everything for granted and feeling like we were going to be young forever. That this was what summers where all about. Now it's all in shambles, and we are never going to see it again. I know a university is going to take over the farm, they already have access to the lake and a couple of the still livable cottages for water research, and from what I understood it they are going to try to restore some of the cottages and rentals for their students so they can expand it to farmland research and studies. So at least it's not going to waste.
No. 2573205
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>>2573200Might I suggest you seek out female friends nona?
No. 2573208
>>2573203thank you anon i just really needed to get it off my chest somewhere.
>>2573205i have 3, 1 is just in very bad health and the other two we have clashing work schedules so it's rare to see each of them
No. 2573210
>>2573199that's depressing but life has to go on, people have to be housed, cities have to evolve
they've been destroying old houses and replacing parks with huge appartment complexes all over my city, it depresses me but it is what it is, thankfully they haven't touched to the forest yet
No. 2573218
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I don't understand what people want from me. They say that I am too closed-off and need to speak about my problems but then when I do speak about my problems or insecurities then it's just flipped as some sort of attack against them even when it's not, or because it's not what they wanted to hear, or because I dared to ask questions or maybe they misunderstood me. I'm too old for this. I lost so much of my childhood and teen years to mental illness and self harm and not receiving diagnosis or not getting the support I needed as a child and teen and now to this day, in my late 20s, nothing has changed. I don't feel like I can overcome my struggles. The only thing that even remotely works for me is just closing it off, not talking to anyone, and anonymously venting on here about various issues or regrets I have and then trying to pick myself up again time after time even though this is chipping away at my self-esteem and my anxiety is worse than ever. People beg me to talk and then when I do there's always something to criticize. I don't get it. I don't know what people want from me.
I don't like people very much and I just wish I could have my own small farm and be completely self-sustainable in the country, on my own, with just animals as my only company. I don't trust people's intentions or perceptions, and while I am not perfect and have a bad attitude sometimes, I'm aware of what's wrong with me. I wish people would stop asking me to open up and pull the "speak about your mental health" card when in reality they don't give a single fuck and will flip it on me as soon as it's an answer they dislike or personally don't want to hear. Please just leave me alone. I was always better on my own and with my cat as my only company. I wasn't built for this, I just want to be alone and mind my business because it's clear that it's the only thing that works and helps.
No. 2573224
File: 1750516625637.jpg (Spoiler Image,600.94 KB, 2653x1152, becky fornicator vs stacy wait…)
>>2573200>i refused to fuck Based
No. 2573232
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I'm going to scream and cry. I found what I'm assuming are mold mites on another piece of furniture, I had this problem before and I ended up throwing the unit away after it broke. This new shelf was fine for a year or two until now. They're tiny and harmless, you wouldn't notice them unless you were concentrating on finding them, but I still feel like it's forever tainted and unusable. I hate that I can't get rid of them, I would clean that old unit over and over again, cleaned everything on it too, did the whole routine you need to do when dealing with mold generally. It never worked, so I just feel doomed now. I wish I was somebody that didn't really care about bugs so I could just ignore it and get on with my life but I just can't let go of that feeling of dirty-ness.
No. 2573242
>>2573210Yeah, I'm not gonna deny that at all. That's why I've kind of shrugged it off when "my" forests have been cut down, it was inevitable anyway. I just feel weird about how temporary everything truly is, and the fact that a whole street of houses got plowed just to become apartment buildings kind of hit me in a place I couldn't quite describe. But going to the farm was really depressing in a different way, but that is sadly the way things are.
It causes so many mixed feelings, because as you say - life has to go on, people need space to live and small communities are too outdated by today's society to survive. But also the fact that all these smells, sights and sounds that have been so familiar to you through all these years can suddenly be gone and forgotten one day is just… sad. Like the mall I grew up close to used to be a farm when my mom was young, when the rest of her generation dies nobody will remember that. And once the mall death finally officially hits the once very popular mall, it will probably be torn down and turned into something else, and said mall will be forgotten once my generation dies. Life goes on.
No. 2573246
>>2573243spiders have been my greatest pest control. I had an outdoor plant completely covered in aphids. it was so nasty… and one day they were just gone. replaced by a couple spider webs.
thank you, ladies
No. 2573264
>>2572810I'm 21 and have only worked as a waitress. I feel like I'm justified in wanting it.
>>2572663No it's just like "damn if only timing was better"
No. 2573279
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>>2573243I actually allow spiders in my home, they usually just stick to the top corners of my place. They're fine as long as they aren't near my food/dishes, bed or seating area. I must have some lazy piece of shit spiders hanging around, I'll give them an ultimatum to start eating the mites or start paying rent kek. I definetly can't pick them up or handle them in anyway, though. It took me years to muster the courage to get a glass and piece of paper
and sometimes I still kill them because it's scaring me too much, I'm sorry I know I'm evil and going to hell.
>>2573246This is really cute, imagine if she liked your plant/garden and wanted to help you by giving you a hand.
No. 2573291
>>2573279the spiders who ate all those aphids changed my view of spiders for me, tbh. my garden plants house many webs so I know they are putting in work.
#I still kill one sorry if they get too close to my feet indoors but now I feel remorse and say a lil prayer kek#
No. 2573501
>>2573381I was just talking about this last night with my spouse. kekkk
Like it really needs to be socially acceptable. Too many men and handmaidens need to feel my fists.
No. 2573506
>>2573013Misery loves company kek, she's trying to pull you into the crab bucket from whence she came. Start grey rocking now and slowly stop contacting her online or over the phone. When she confronts you about it just spew some retarded therapyspeak slop at her and ignore her breakdowns. She's probably going to show up at your house at some point so be prepared for that.
>>2573182Been there, it's grim but you can climb out of it. In my case it was a combination of burnout, depression, stress, and a shitty situation. I spent a lot of time resting and that helped a lot, don't force yourself to do things because you're wasting your precious free time if you don't, or compare yourself to others who seem to have their lives together.
It takes time to get better. If all you can do on the weekends is lie in bed and stare at the ceiling, that's what you need to do. Let yourself be a miserable failure for a bit.
If you can't pinpoint why you're like this it's worth getting blood tests done. You'd be amazed at how badly a lack of vitamin D or iron can fuck you up.
No. 2573514
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I hate being poor. Everything about my life revolves around money, how to make money, how to save money. Its fucking hell. I cant do anything without thinking about how i can make money thorugh it. I recently picked up crochet and i had to drop it because i cannot get over the intrusive thoughts that tell me i am not allowed to have fun, that if i learn something i must monetize this. I am so fucking tired, my life is hell. I hate it, thinking about how my life would be if i wasnt born poor and in a shithole makes me want to cry, i would be achieving my dreams, working on my hobbies, having fun. I already handed out like 100 CVs and not a single place called me, except for a scammy call center that wanted me to work for free for a week and get two calls before hiring me. God i hate this country, i hate my life, i hate my family. I have so much resentment towards my parents because of being poorfags that shat me in a poor country, i dont think i will ever forgive them for that. I hate rich cunts like jill and shayna fucking up their one in a million opportunities at life to become whores and munchies. I hate them so fucking much.
No. 2573666
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I get depressed knowing that so much of my life is defined by me being born into poverty. Suffered bullying and abuse because I was a poor kid, had to skip out on several opportunities as a teen due to my family not being able to foot the bill (or even wanting me to go, lest I speak on my abuse), graduated university super late because I couldn't afford tuition fees, missed out on a good job because I had to take care of my dad…now I am still struggling to dig myself out of this hole my birth circumstances put me in. I get so frustrated and envious seeing people with easier, happier lives. I get frustrated and envious of deathfat troons with enabling parents who let them sit around all day and beg on ko-fi for gibs. Worst part about it is that my suffering isn't even unique, this is just the experience of millions. Billions maybe. You're born in a hole, you fall deeper, you see all the beauty beyond the lip of it but you can't fucking get out.
Fuck, I worry if I do get out, won't I just be escaping into another hole? What's the point of anything.
No. 2573739
>>2573250I was feeling crazy with the complacency going on before you showed up
nonnie. I can't stand seeing more and more of the Earth being swallowed up by humanity for reasons that are entirely frivolous. It's not like what's being built holds an iota of beauty or integrity. They aren't places to live, merely exist. Such awful, mental-illness inducing tract housing that'll undoubtedly fall apart within twenty years due to them being constructed out of flimsy, cheap garbage. Horrid.
No. 2573751
I've been wondering what the hell am I gonna tell my niece and nephew about my dad, they're now asking more about stuff like "nona, where is your dad?". My dad was a nasty alcoholic who made quite a bit money by being a charismatic and nasty businessman, he died in a pretty graphic way, pretty traumatising. I've never been close to my sister like that, mainly due to my dad and I think I just need to ask her at some birthday party or whatever thing I attend where I do see her, because I'm not gonna lie to the kids but I'm also not gonna say weird shit. They're still kinda little but it's also so wild to think that here I am thinking if it's okay to just say "Yeah my dad is dead and he wasn't a nice man" when i was knee deep in that awful shit with the said dad. They know he is dead but come on, there does come a point where no matter what my sister or their dad says, they're gonna ask aunt nona and i need to know what lore we're putting out there. Maybe I'll just do what my grandma did and once I'm done with my church confirmation, grown enough, here is the family gore and funny gossip. It's really not that deep but it's hilarious just how different our lives are, sometimes the kids will be loud and I'll say shit like "my dad would never have let me act this way lol" and they're asking me how so and I'll just stare straight ahead like "absolutely nothing, carry on babies"
No. 2573811
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>>2573514>I recently picked up crochet and i had to drop it because i cannot get over the intrusive thoughts that tell me i am not allowed to have fun, that if i learn something i must monetize this.I have an adjacent problem where I grew up poor, still am and people like my parents tell me to monetize my hobbies. They're my escape from my two jobs and being stressed out all the damn time from having to work this much to be able to afford rent and necessities. Like I GUESS yeah it could be good to make money from drawing or doing instrument tutoring but why the hell does the answer have to be do more work when you're already at your limit…the people who were born rich or had parents who helped them go to college without needing to work will never understand the exhaustion and defeat of being working class
No. 2573920
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I'm wondering if meeting my limerent object was a good idea. I somehow went for coffee with him and I feel kinda bad now. like it shouldn't have happened, I feel shame. I was very nervous. it was really overwhelming and now left me feeling nothing.
couldn't reply him most of the time due to me being overwhelmed and his words didn't help at all. he's a stoner philosophy student what did I expect. I feel the I ruined the moment not knowing what to say to him though it seems he didn't mind.
why I like him that much even. my eyes are teary because I crave for him like candy. but it won't have him be because he's out of my reach.
No. 2573930
>>2573811Thanks
nonny it's just so exhausting because i am always thinking about how i am going to afford materials in the future. I had to drop other hobbies before because they were too expensive to maintain. At least crotchet is super cheap, but still i cant get the brainworms out of my head.
No. 2573936
>>2573933kek
nonny no, the clothes is more expensive than the yarn
No. 2574020
File: 1750555922249.jpeg (77.95 KB, 905x849, 1718319831394.jpeg)
I made the mistake of dating an emotionally abusive closeted scrote as my first partner, and the second was a three month 'relationship' with this dumb, narcissistic lawyer who was only fun for dates because he could pay his way. In between that I've wasted too much time with the pondscum of the earth and few were even attractive. I feel relieved I didn't jump from relationship to relationship and avoided long term commitment with horrible men but now i'm cynical, burnt out and disgusted by all men. I no longer care about them, my attraction to hot guys fades quickly, and any small sign they'll be annoying makes me dump them. I've tried everything and still haven't found a single man who likes me for who I am, or even seems to enjoy my company in a deep way. I despise hetero dynamics and every time i date a guy (or even think about doing so) the weight of those shitty expectations: clean, cook, suck his dick, put up with his retarded hobbies, bears down on me and makes me want to vomit. I'm bi and have briefly dated women before but fucked it up out of insecurity and hesitancy, they were great women and we had chemistry! Is it even worth waiting for a man who might love me for who I am, or battling the tranny loving cesspit that lesbian dating is in my country, or should I just embrace the habit and become a nun???