File: 1744297787344.jpeg (180.75 KB, 1199x1523, IMG_0476.jpeg)
No. 2482244
A thread for venting about difficult, weird, or stupid stuff going on in your life.
Previous vent thread:
>>>/ot/2470733Follow all the /ot/ board rules & do not reply to bait.
Please, do not come to this thread to make fun of anons' vents, to demean them, or to try and be funny with some shit snark reply. It's annoying. If you do not have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. No. 2482256
File: 1744298835394.jpeg (754.4 KB, 1170x1444, IMG_0477.jpeg)
My dysphoria is the only thing I can think about recently and I really can’t tell why. I just wake up depressed thinking about it, I fall to sleep crying. Everything I see and hear reminds me of it. I’ve always been dysphoric but it’s kind of gone away for like years until now. My girlfriend tries to comfort me and being in her presence does comfort me but I don’t wanna burden her with it 24/7. I don’t know if it’s the meds I just started (Atomoxetine), just misogyny in general, or if it’s something else like me being insecure about how strong I am or whatever. I don’t know but I hate how it rots my brain 24/7. Even on lolcor (lolcow.farm (this website )) Im really annoying about it, atleast I think I am. And before anyone asks no I do not plan on trooning out, I will never troon out, I’m just dysphoric. To me I’m aware that it’s just an extension of my depression plus the homophobia i’ve dealt with throughout my life. Anyways, the most logical conclusion to me is that my meds are making me more depressed but I don’t know if Atomoxetine does that and if I should talk to my doctor about it. I just really don’t know. It’s fucking with my work life too
No. 2482360
File: 1744304073241.jpg (29.57 KB, 736x531, solemn.jpg)
One of my baby cousins like IShowSpeed
No. 2482415
File: 1744305800428.png (922.26 KB, 1076x1070, iOAMRJx.png)
>>2482256Definitely meds, please talk to your doctor about it. If you're feeling incredibly depressed without any logical reason it's most likely your brain being all fucked up. Most mental illness is all rooted in the same shit but it's what you focus that shit on is what causes specialized suffering. Don't feed into it, no matter how hard it gets because it will prevent you from moving on. I say this as someone who has been in the deep of it and successfully got out. If you aren't taking therapy I also recommend doing so, it may take a bit to find a therapist right for you but it does do wonders because just medication isn't enough for mental health improvement. God speed anon.
No. 2482538
File: 1744311427301.jpg (81.8 KB, 961x768, DhegelQUEAECbgj.jpg)
I will never be good at japanese no matter how much effort i put in because of the environment i live in and the cultural expectations placed on me and 25 is too old to be following your otaku desires god you fucking loser this is something you should have done at 15
No. 2482548
File: 1744311709701.jpg (156.86 KB, 1179x1228, tumblr_d741a2cd20f3d75e2cffd07…)
Spoilering this because it could be triggering to anybody with EDbrain I had to get on zoloft about two years ago due to developing temporary panic disorder (having panic attacks literally everyday, all the time) and i dont take it anymore because it fixed the problem, unfortunately I gained… almost 20 pounds from the time i was on it and ive been unable to lose any of it. And im slightly shorter than average so yeah, so yeah its pretty visible. I dont understand why im struggling so much because im literally eating the same i always did. I feel like the only option is to go full anorexic mode but i really dont want to, its something i struggled with a lot as a teenager and it was so miserable. I just lost a lot of weight because of the panic attacks making it so i had no appetite and would vomit and diarrhea a lot, and i hate to say it but i really felt more confident with my body then, but i was so unhealthy.. I just hate this whole situation so much
No. 2482559
File: 1744312894533.jpg (7.39 KB, 244x206, 2102193.jpg)
Sputtered coffee all over my pants because my brain couldn't comprehend motor functions while I was taking a sip and my entire mouth tastes like wet cat (probably because of the vitamins I take). What world am I living in
No. 2482576
File: 1744314512176.jpeg (644.92 KB, 750x962, IMG_4223.jpeg)
I unironically almost get a smile on my face when I’m reminded that I can die any time and therefore leave this ungrateful, sociopathic, mechanical shitheap of a planet. The only few things I truly get hyped for
No. 2482622
File: 1744316415044.jpeg (185.59 KB, 1366x2048, GmG3fr6bcAIsfK6.jpeg)
I wish I was attractive enough so I could earn a living from being an e-girl on tiktok and OF where my only worry on the world would be my next cute outfit or cosplay but alas I am ugly so I must go to school and achieve a career that will pay me 80% less.
No. 2482628
File: 1744316626514.webp (108.95 KB, 2048x1365, how-much-does-deliveroo-charge…)
>Dad in hospital with broken spine and about to go on benefits which i am arranging for him
>pity him and buy him a deliveroo to his hospital with money I dont have knowing he would never return the favour
>get someone who doesn’t speak English to take it to the right place
>get an overworked nurse to agree to collect it for him
>mfw trying to co ordinate a military operation
>he receives it and gets angry (for some reason) and said he had already eaten, doesn't like takeaway food and said he’d ‘sent it away’
>The whole thing took me over an hour to arrange
>I was so excited for him to receive it thinking it would cheer him up
Guys is anyone else's Dad this mean or just me
No. 2482713
File: 1744319883804.jpg (11.98 KB, 360x360, 1693860369727316.jpg)
>rejected from an unpaid internship
i didnt even want it but im hurt regardless
No. 2482734
>>2482683how old are you
nonnie? and how old is your father? Regardless, I'm sorry to read that he and your family are going through this. Did you say it was pancreatic cancer? It's very rough to go through.
—
I wish my feelings were validated but I know it's unrealistic to hope for it.
No. 2482795
>>2482753Pancreatic cancer is a bitch nonna. When I studied it for my exam I literally had to sit down for a bit because it was just very bleak.
I hope you can enjoy your time with your dad.
No. 2482830
File: 1744324418744.gif (87.13 KB, 220x221, IMG_0953.gif)
>>2482256I have nothing to say except I have struggled with the same thing my whole life. I don’t know what to do. Just dressing masculine isn’t enough, I wanted to have a male body, and if I couldn’t have that there was no point in my mind, so I just dress feminine and try to fit into society. I’ll update you in ten years and tell you if I managed to resist the urge. I don’t want to troon out but it feels like I’m fighting an uphill battle
No. 2482835
>>2482600Nevermind.
If I don't get some good news tomorrow or monday, I'm 100% going to kill myself.
No. 2482841
>>2482830Trooning out is useless kek. You don’t even get to be a man, just a woman with chronic pain And mutilation.
I think dysphoria is a form of OCD, the same way someone might have impulsive thoughts or harming themselves. You can’t change yourself, the only thing you can do is cope and accept yourself as you are.
No. 2482861
>>2482788>>2482795>>2482812thank you my beloveds. the oncologist yesterday pretty much told me my dad can only expect palliative care at this stage, if we manage to get him well enough to travel back home. the worst part is that tomorrow i have to travel back home. we hired a home assistant for 15 days, so i hope it's enough help for my mum.
and yes, wink wink, i'm elder nona lmao (thanks for that, nonita, it made me smile)
No. 2482881
>>2482861Take care of yourself
nonnie. Take it easy.
No. 2482913
File: 1744328317201.jpeg (928.56 KB, 1953x2045, c7os27a8ecwc1.jpeg)
>>2482891i don't remember her exact words, but essentially she thinks i only want it for cosmetic reasons (which is true, but like i said, it's infected and scarred over, see picrel) and that's not important to her. she wants to put me on birth control too to see if my ovarian cysts (ruptures? i'll have to call and ask tomorrow, i forgot) get smaller but i've already told her i don't want to do that. her response was like, "well we could remove your ovaries :)" i'm definitely going to get a second opinion
No. 2482922
File: 1744328803023.jpg (104.98 KB, 736x981, 26d41bc272cf62ec83594ece36c8ab…)
>>2482830ayrt and I've always presented more masculine, I still do. But that's because it wasn't as a result of my dysphoria, I just get positive female attention if I dress a certain way. My dysphoria always just caused me to want to off myself, I don't think I ever really wanted to troon out. I know I'd be lying to myself. I don't think I want a male body though, I just don't want the female reproductive role (i've tried "just getting over it" too, nothing helps because as a woman you're reminded of it 24/7 sigh). Trooning out just wouldn't fix that for me. i don't know if it's the same for you though.
Like i said in my original message. I'm aware that my dysphoria is just an extension of my depression and that's why it makes me want to off myself. My logic is: "I got unlucky with the way I was born (in this case, being a lesbian female) so I should just off myself instead of having to deal with the mental burden it puts on me". It's why I was thinking it was my meds, because I was suppressing it just fine before. I hope it gets better for you nona, dysphoria sucks. It's grueling and it really feels like there's no escape
>>2482415Thank you nona, I have a therapist but honestly I'm scared to bring up my depression in general. I really don't know why. (My therapy is moreso about my autism/adhd which is why I haven't brought up depression). I guess I just hate opening up about shit. I'll probably try to talk to my provider about my meds too and if they can cause depression symptoms
No. 2482931
File: 1744329534457.jpeg (60.92 KB, 600x450, 55AA5F26-331E-404F-8069-56F084…)
Pray for me nonnys this is due at midnight and I just have reached a point where I no longer fucking care.
No. 2482936
>>2482920Idk, it feels like as soon as I was born I was thrown off a cliff and I've been falling down it ever since. I really did try, almost saved enough money to comfortably move out and then covid happened, I had to pay medical bills for bullshit that came out of nowhere, and I lost it.
>>2482926Tbh I did make a discord a long while ago for that but I haven't had the guts to actually do anything with it.
No. 2482937
>>2482879You need to be 18 years or older to post here.
Besides being old(-er) - by older I mean 40+ - isn't that bad. You have more money statistically and it's easier to be yourself. Our culture is weirdly obsessed with youth, seems like you drank its kool aid.
Since I can tell you're very young, I feel like it's my duty to tell you to get off lc and go do literally anything else. You don't want to waste your youth here, don't you?
No. 2482953
File: 1744330662801.png (88.97 KB, 500x500, 1725858955164383.png)
>>2482879this post is making me freak out kinda because Im going to be 23 soon and Ive basically done nothing with my life since 18 when covid happened, no travelling, no new friends, no nice job, no living on my own. And its like.. oh wow, I just wasted my entire young adulthood in a flash sitting in my room drawing and posting on imageboards, awesome
No. 2482961
>>2482953You're still a young adult, definitely till you're 30, maybe even till 35. You have plenty of time. 23 is still a baby adult.
Now get off lc and go do something better.
No. 2482967
>>2482957>>2482961Youre right. i just meant young adult as in the range that nona posted, i dont think im old or not a young adult
also just realize i have a huge split in my nail and it hurts fml
No. 2482971
File: 1744331302418.jpg (26.65 KB, 500x375, 1000022880.jpg)
>>2482966Are zoomers even gonna make it to 50 with all the preservatives and micoplastics they've been eating since 2000?
(derailing) No. 2482990
File: 1744331890692.jpg (143.9 KB, 1025x1280, IMG_20240701_020226_562.jpg)
I want a girlfriend who acts like a douche on the outside but is a complete servant to me who dotes after me behind closed doors. I want a girlfriend sooo bad but NONE OF THESE WOMEN IN THE LOCAL AREA ARE MY TYPE AND IF THEY ARE THEY'RE TAKEN OR I'M NOT THEIR TYPE!!!!!!
No. 2482991
File: 1744331940681.jpeg (187.49 KB, 1150x1804, 1738979700073.jpeg)
>>2482979nona I relate a lot to what you said about high school, I feel so robbed that i missed all of that stuff. Not having a proper transition from high school to college really fucked me over. Really, I dont think ive "wasted" my years but aging is scary and i worry that im not using my time properly. I dont really know what I should or shouldnt be doing. I am generally happy and I have fun everyday engaging with things I like and developing my skills and hobbies, but theres sometimes a nagging feeling im doing it "wrong" you know? doesnt help that im autistic so my life is somewhat unconventional anyways
>>2482969Youre right and im not trying to make excuses but i have endo and the pain and fatigue make it so hard to do that stuff consistently. i always end up getting my period and getting knocked out for 7-10 days unable to do shit
No. 2483000
>>2482991>I dont really know what I should or shouldnt be doing. I am generally happy and I have fun everyday engaging with things I like and developing my skills and hobbiesI think being happy and developing your skills/hobbies is truly the best thing you can be doing at any time. There is no right way to live your life and everyone is going to have a different path. As long as you feel content I think that's enough.
>Youre right and im not trying to make excuses but i have endo I hate the "have you tried birth control" shit but I know that really does help people with endo if they can find the right one. Take one day at a time nonna.
No. 2483004
File: 1744332939926.webp (16.22 KB, 390x280, windowcat.WEBP)
>>2483002Honestly anon, I sound like the type of woman you’re describing here
>>2482990. Alas, our paths will likely never cross
No. 2483007
File: 1744333127565.jpg (35.97 KB, 474x474, f291cc3e55453074fa40d92aeb632f…)
God, I can't understand how ignorant or just incapable of understanding some people can be. I was talking with a group of acquaintances about the kind of clothes we like or don’t like to wear, and this girl suddenly starts telling me how great I’d look if I wore dresses or “cuter” stuff.
I told her I honestly don’t care how cute my clothes are, I prefer practicality. But she kept going, saying I shouldn’t feel insecure and that I should try wearing more feminine things. I explained that I wear what I wear because it makes me feel good… and stillshe kept trying to convince me that I’m really pretty and shoulnt feel less of a woman than others, and instead embrace my beauty. Excuse me?
No. 2483030
>>2482998you inspired me to go up and down the stairs like 7 times and did some stretches, thank you.
i feel like passing out kek>>2483000It sucks because I havent been able to get treatment because theres only one womans center near me and theyre super booked up, had an appointment but it got cancelled and moved to next month, Im still kinda upset my appointment got moved because Im literally in some degree of pelvic pain everyday and I waited 2 months for the appointment in the first place
>>2483021this was cute
No. 2483043
>>2483030>you inspired megreat job
nonny, also yoga helps with balancing hormones so I can't recommend it enough!
No. 2483049
File: 1744335615779.jpg (257.7 KB, 945x2048, 1000012877.jpg)
If I could erase any kind of hardship from this world, it would be the eldest sister fate, where she has to be the one to pick up the family's slack or fix everyone's problems. I feel so chained by these problems that have existed from the day I was born. I wish I was simply an only child sometimes.
No. 2483050
>>2482897You can only experience many things to the fullest extent when you are young, also: foundational experiences. Being an awkward autist is okay at 20 and younger, it's grating at 26, and it's over territory at 30+. So many aesthetics available can no longer be done in your late twenties, thirties.
The 23 (and younger) year olds replying to this can still make it, but it's over for me.
Yes life does not END but a fun youth ends.
No. 2483077
>>2483075If you dont take care of yourself then sure.
>>2483072My mother was like that and she was absolutely miserable most of the time
No. 2483083
>>2483075>Health also starts to decline.If you don't take care of yourself. Exercise, eat healthy, make sure you're up to date on your physicals, etc.
>Your opportunities go down the drain.Unless your ability to make money or get into relationships hinges on nothing but your physical appearance this is not an issue.
>You no longer have a safety net to be foolish.You build your own safety net with the wisdom and resources you gain as you age and experience life.
You have to be retarded if you think life stops being fun the second you age out of your twenties. I see grannies out and about having fun and probably getting laid just as much.
No. 2483097
>>2482913I had this and i found that taking spironolactone and doing skin peels, preferably by an aesthetician with good reviews or dermatologist fixes this. it's a slow process i'd like to add. If you can't afford the skin peels, try getting them from somewhere like makeupartistschoice and send customer services your pics so you don't end up burning your skin.
>>2482879I am 28 and i've been doing the same exact shit since i was 16 years old, kek. From my experience (mainly observation), the thing that ends your life is having a severe disability (i mean bedridden, many people have been able to overcome and live the best lives possible despite their ailments), having kids and getting married. As long as you don't do these two things, you can pretty much do whatever you want. Of course you would still need to go to work, but if you have a job that's ok, you won't want to kill yourself. I just think you're freaking out over nothing. I get that your friends will probably want to be "adult" and shit and will ditch you eventually over it, but if you learn to do shit on your own, your life will be more enjoyable. Nothing is stopping you from buying a new sanrio plush at 50 or doing fun things like going out for bubble tea at 60. Sometimes, elderly people seem to be having more fun with their lives than a lot of teenagers and young adults and are very fun to be around.
No. 2483101
File: 1744339536007.jpg (48.11 KB, 828x828, 1664673319167.jpg)
>45 minutes reading reduxx
>nowhere to a-log men
No. 2483121
File: 1744342511913.jpg (27.76 KB, 655x720, FIrn3-jUYAAqqXp.jpg)
A coworker of mine who I thought was just a regular gay man suddenly revealed he's trooning out and I'm beyond pissed. We were chatting about mundane shit as usual when he suddenly goes "oh btw anon I'm starting hormonal treatment so please call me Lena." I was genuinely speechless so all I could do was blink a few times and respond with a "uh huh…" while slowly looking away. I'm not sure what the fuck made him think it was okay to do in public but he went on to say "yeah my breasts are slowly growing too and this bra is so uncomfy" and he LIFTS HIS FUCKING SHIRT to show me. At that point I didn't try to be subtle so I just turned my head and changed the subject. I'm avoiding him as much as possible while looking for another job and I'm pretty sure he knows I don't want to talk to him anymore, but I don't give a fuck. Fucking disgusting. I hope his boyfriend leaves him and he kills himself.
No. 2483136
File: 1744344582452.jpeg (221.85 KB, 804x581, 56333420-F0D6-4190-B0AE-D8634E…)
>>2482931It’s done and submitted, perhaps now I may truly know rest
No. 2483138
File: 1744345014380.jpeg (142.17 KB, 1079x1026, IMG_1208.jpeg)
I pushed my little brother today out of pure rage and I’ve never felt more guilty and satisfied
He taunted me about my abusive ex, because I giggled at him for missing school today so I shoved him.
He’s a mamas boy so before I could even tell him not to disrespect me he’s got her on speed dial
I owned up, told our parents it was my fault for escalating it to physical and I apologized for it
I hate losing control like that
That peaks as the most escalated our ‘fights’ have gotten but why did he think it was okay to hurl straight up abuse at me and not expect the same energy back?
Parents were very cool but they keep bringing up how he’s still a minor (literally turns 18 in less than 8 weeks) and that I should be more scared of this affecting my job and our family.
I’ve accepted the consequences that I’m most likely not going to have a good relationship with him moving forward.
But I’m getting conflicting reactions from friends and other family members when recounting the details and majority are saying I was justified? That makes me feel like they're just glazing to make me feel better.
Nonas was I tweaking for pushing him be straight up
No. 2483143
File: 1744345592501.jpg (37.58 KB, 300x300, ab67706c0000da84735cc03c384fb1…)
I'm wrapping up my 6 month internship next week, I checked in with the tech leads and they're going to come back to me. But I know. I know with the current ongoing recession I'm not going to get it, and I know the moid that came after me is going to get it despite me having been there for 6 months. It took me 1,5 years of searching to finally land an internship, and with the fact that only 7 out of last year's alumni have gotten employments - and they got it at their internships - makes it all look incredibly dark. I'm going to end up in another dead-end job and these past 2 years are going to be nothing but a very expensive distraction.
I did my best, but my best will never be enough. There is only thing left for me to do, and that is kill myself when I get home. Because what is even the point of trying anymore. I double check the meds I have in the cabinet, I have alcohol, and my roommate is away until 1am on fridays playing magic. Easy peasy
No. 2483152
>>2482244My vent:
While I understand JK Rowling's anger at troons, who takeover the women's spaces, I don't get her hostility towards asexuals.
No. 2483169
>>2483162OP here.
Dunno, I live in Poland. For most women, sex life looks sorta like this:
- a woman has sex with a scrote
- she is being probably filmed by said scrote
- she receives plethora of retribution, because of that
- folks in Wykop insinuate she likes having sex with black guys (sorry for unintentional well all know what bait)
- she gets raped and killed then.
I reckon, it's the life for most women from Poland.
Uh huh, they also get trafficked.
Most Polish women are raised as good Catholics.
For me, asexuality is one of the good shields, against aggressive scrotes and also, I haven't legitimately felt attraction to me (there were noble exceptions sometimes, but same case is with women).
No. 2483174
>>2483171>the same way gays and lesbians are badmouthedAnon…this kind of comparison is part of the reason. And what
>>2483157 said
No. 2483177
>>2483171You are not "badmouthed" for not having sex, it's because asexuals are as whiny as you are being and suffer from similar main character syndrom as troons. Comparing asexuality to treatment of homosexuals is absolutely disgusting, because you do not have a long history of being murdered for who you love, you do not risk being sent to conversion camps (that are still active today) for not having sex, you do not have actual shootings happening in clubs that are supposed to be a safe space for you.
The worst thing that happens to you is people being a little weird about it, cry me a fucking river.
No. 2483180
>>2483178I'd wish to love Poland, but Polish folks, esp. men, don't give me any reason.
Sigh… I saw still the doctors saying that asexuality exists and I prefer relyingon science.
No. 2483185
File: 1744349720547.png (313.59 KB, 1080x933, 1000004876.png)
I have white guy trauma. My dad is white and my mom is afro latina. I don't like my dad and every white guy I've ever liked has never liked me back. I feel like latino men and oddly enough, asian men are the only groups of men that see me as a normal girl. I'm dating an Asian guy right now and if it doesn't work out, I think I'll just keep dating asian guys.
No. 2483210
File: 1744352574500.jpeg (32.54 KB, 403x405, IMG_1419.jpeg)
>>2483145>>2483144>>2483141Thx for the responses babes ily forever
I thought you’d like to know a detail I left out because it sounded too mean to me but while he was on the phone with mom I splashed the last of the water that was in my water bottle in his face and verbatim,
“mom shes pouring water all over me”
I think he hung up the phone because of how hard that made me laugh it was literally an ampoule of water tardo
No. 2483224
>>2483195Social oppression yes, being called “freaks” and people who are just “depressed”, “haven’t found the right one”, very common asexual sentiments. Not to mention if you’re a woman, the constant pressure to have children and that sex is a requirement
in 99% of relationships.
No. 2483291
File: 1744366542364.png (1.12 MB, 805x772, sac2.png)
Working is so nice sometimes but so stressful and frustrating sometimes.
No. 2483292
File: 1744366757843.jpg (39.79 KB, 450x800, 71b550b40f08b12f571514b69c5cec…)
>>2482622wow I made a vent about exactly that like a thread or 2 ago
No. 2483301
File: 1744369268897.jpg (37.06 KB, 640x480, 1646904829908.jpg)
>>2482622I wish i was pretty so i could easily pick up all the guys i find cute.
No. 2483308
File: 1744370539719.png (325.78 KB, 496x445, 1646461554800.png)
>failing in high school
>meet guy i fall in love with
>for the first time in my school life i have the motivation to study and he and i are the only ones that pass our math exam
>overall doing great in my school life
>he rejects me
>fail the grade and drop out of high school
>start uni
>really dont want to go but have no other choice because ugly and poor
>0 motivation, want to drop out after the first week
>meet really cute guy
>start studying really hard
>he soft rejects me twice
>borderlien suicidal
>still want to be with him so study 10 hours a day to try and pass my exams
wtf am i like this? i can only find motivation when i am horny. Its kinda sad to think i probably havent unlocked my full potential as a human because i dont have a cute bf to motivate me. What having no supportive family unit, being poor and ugly does to a motherfucker.
No. 2483335
File: 1744373670654.jpg (84.5 KB, 625x458, web-designer-meme-2.jpg)
I had to show a basic website to some people and they all acted like picel and as if they've never been on the internet before. The site functions like 99% of other websites in that the main page has a mix of everything, and if you click the menus it has those specific items sorted there. It's so fucking intuitive and obvious, yet EVERY SINGLE PERSON was shocked and confused when they simply clicked a menu title like "huh all the (other things) disappeared, what happened?? did it break???", "wait why is it showing all these irrelevant things again??" (they clicked on the home page symbol to get back there), "oh no! that's not supposed to be here right???" (referring to the literal thing the title is named after). Genuinely what the fuck is wrong with people.
No. 2483480
>>2482879>we only have 6-8 years of useful youth (16-22)Useful? I and everyone else I knew were useLESS babies at 16, barely any better at 22
>We should have like 50 years of youthNona did you know if you exercise and watch what you eat your age will always be lower than the age number suggests. You can literally be healthier at 40 than you were at 20 (especially these days when people are all obese from a young age).
What is you ACTUALLY want to do, and what is stopping you?
No. 2483484
>>2483479>but your idea of quality time together does sound like a nightmare anonWatching a TV live show once a week with my mom for a few weeks while it's airing is a "nightmare"? Why, do you hate your mom or something?
And what do you mean I'm making him do this? He's driving here either way, I was literally just asking him IF he'd be on time for the show and he said yes?
No. 2483499
>>2482879You will hopefully grow up, and grow out of this phase you're in. You're here, it's now, this is all you get. Don't throw it away wishing it could be better, or by playing movies in your head.
Also, 22 is somehow your age limit for being viable? Absolutely weird. Nobody at 22 knows shit about shit. You either live in a strange cult where you've been brainwashed into thinking life ends at 22, or you need to get off the fucking internet and actually do a real thing. Please don't turn into one of those annoying-ass cynical people who will miss out on experiences staring you in the fucking face because "who cares, everything is shit."
No. 2483530
>>2482538ganbatte
nonny! You can do it, you just need to learn to give a shit really! I have decided to really embrace my weebyness this year and I feel very happy.
No. 2483567
File: 1744389245031.png (263.69 KB, 437x549, 1667698656824.png)
>wake up at 1-2 am because of insomnia
>study until its time to go to uni
>go to uni
>get ignored by crush and his tif friend
>come back
>cry because crush is cold towards me and i am friendless and i dont know what i did to get the cold shoulder from crush and tif and i hate college because its so time consuming and it sucks and i dont want to work
>vent on lolcor(i am sorry)
>study for 3-4 hours(timed)
>play overwatch (1-2 hours timed)
>masturbate thinking about crush
>go to sleep
>repeat the next day
My life is so utterly miserable right now, i wish i could go back time and never enroll in college. I am going to fail my exams because i am retarded no matter how much i study. The only guy i have ever liked finds me creepy because i am an ugly autist that thought she could just ask a guy out and he would say yes and i probably make him insanely uncomfortable when i try to talk to him now. Holy shit no matter how much i try i fail and i make my life worse EVERYTIME. Would it kill god to make me succeed at one thing so i dont feel like i am an utter waste of oxygen. I just want to die, i want to die so badly. This is hell. I wish i could rewind time and go back to when i used to daydream about having a bf that looks exactly like my crush. At least back then i hold onto hope, now, there is nothing i can do anymore. The opportunity was given to me and like always, i failed to achieve it. I will never find a bf, i will never be good at anything, i will always be fat, ugly, poor and lonely.
No. 2483599
File: 1744390563300.gif (135.18 KB, 444x340, 6A095-423B678V9.gif)
i just noticed the number for this thread is wrong. was supposed to be 5 instead of 8
No. 2483718
File: 1744395326320.jpg (67.91 KB, 634x837, 46A083DB00000578-5110483-image…)
Nonnies, I cannot do it.
Women are the object of my fantasies, and the only ones who 'activate my almonds', so to say. However, I would love to have a family one day. And I would feel it wrong to deprive my future children of a father figure. I know a guy with lesbian moms and he has so many issues. And I always felt the absence of my father as a kid- to not know the person who gave you your genes, to never have the balance in your life, it just seems very wrong.
I feel like I should just suck it up and commit to a guy and let myself just fantasise about women? If it was with my best friend, who has proposed to me, it would be ok, because we work well together and have so much fun and look after each other, even though he's a boy. I do not like kissing him, but it is tolerable. I can do it, but I don't like it, but I'm not dying. I am torn between pursuing women and breaking his heart (he said he's lose his life purpose if I said no), or compromising, and letting myself fantasise about women in private whilst pursuing a traditional family with him. I am so stuck.
No. 2483742
File: 1744396335935.gif (906.9 KB, 440x248, 1690862126178.gif)
>try to approach people i want to hang out with
>they give me very obvious hints that they dislike me, like straight up pretending i dont exist, not greeting me, never starting conversations with me out of their own will, when i am next to them they dont even try to talk to me while they talk to eachother just fine and i walk next akwardly in silence
>vent to friend about how i feel they dislike me
>umm noo ackshually thats just the brainworms you dont know how their feel maybe try doing x and y next
>ok try x and y instead
>same result
i like my therapist friend but he's so annoying constantly dismissing my feelings and giving me hope in an obvious situation where i am not liked nor welcomed. I fucking hate him for always making me keep trying when i know deep down i am right.
No. 2483753
>>2483725>might be because he's a malesent me lol
>>2483731I think having no father figure can definitely cause issues. Like I said, I feel sad when I see fathers who love their daughters. I think it's nice for the kid to have the feeling of stability and protection from a father, I wish I had one myself, I think it's a normal thing to want.
No. 2483765
>>2483761>nurturer and a protectorNona this is really dumb lol. Men aren't "protectors". Do you live in a rural area or something? I'm genuinely curious. Also
>he said he's lose his life purpose if I said noWhy is he telling you these kind of things too? This sounds pretty
abusive nona. You need to do some self reflecting.
No. 2483773
>>2483718I get what you mean about the father figure stuff. I've known plenty of people who have little to none of that and are very obviously fucked up as a result.
However, you shouldn't subjugate yourself to a life of unfulfillment, you'll end up causing more problems for your kids down the line. Especially not with the guy you're describing here.
No. 2483779
>>2483765Ok, I'd stand corrected if you implied that all men are protectors. I see a lot of straight women put the blinders on for their men, who gawk at younger women and are nonchalant about their families- I guess the truth is hard for some. However, I know my uncle used to charge less in his repairs service for this old lady, and always bring her stuff and listen to her- he got in trouble for doing it because he'd have to work longer to make up the money. He is humble and has many friends, yet is clever. I think a type of human that is inherently bigger, and does not need to have the vulnerable period of child carrying could be called a 'protector', and can fulfill such a purpose. I was raised catholic so i am aware of the dissonance between beliefs and sexuality.
>Why is he telling you these kind of things too? This sounds pretty abusive nona. You need to do some self reflecting.I know. It would be
abusive if he meant to make me guilty, but he didn't tell me this, I asked him why he was so emotionally flat, and he said the rejection is why. He has stopped looking after himself, and feeling enthusiasm. I feel like I've killed my best friend.
>>2483773Would it be so bad? His family is wealthy, I could get head like once a week, and mastvrbate to thoughts of women whilst doing it. I feel totally safe with him because we threw up on each other whilst high, I just wouldn't enjoy it- but a biweekly chore is no big deal, for a life of being understood, cherished, and having children. You're the only one here who thinks father figures are important tbh
>>2483770I'd say it goes like this
>attentive mother and father (best)>attentive mother and mother (not bad)>attentive father and father (not bad)>single mother (lacking)That being said I really don't like how boys online slander single mothers, putting the onus on them for their situation, when they are standing by their kids and doing their best.
No. 2483783
>>2483770NTA and I agree but she did say she didn't have a father. But you're correct. There's BILLIONS of dollars worth of unpaid child support in the US. Fathers end up committing the most violent acts of child abuse. The "men protect and women nuture" myth is so harmful. It's really just a way of scaring women into staying in the home
>"oooh spooky!! they're gonna getcha if you don't have a moid around 24/7"If you live your life unfulfilled, it's gonna fuck with your kids too.
No. 2483784
File: 1744398499937.jpg (662.52 KB, 1200x800, 1.jpg)
I'm never gonna find a virgin bf who isn't also an incel
No. 2483790
>>2483783Male "protection" is a protection racket: they create the danger and demand payment (sex and your vital energy) to keep you from being brutalized. They're destroyers, nothing more.
>>2483779>That being said I really don't like how boys online slander single mothers, putting the onus on them for their situationIt's just another manifestation of their hatred of women. The bar for men is in hell, but the bar for women is made to be unachievable so that their hatred is justified. No woman will ever be good enough of a mother. The reason single mothers are the "worst" is because of the amount of pressure and responsibility, they have to make all the money, do all the housework, provide all the emotional support, all alone. I understand your point about attentive mothers and fathers being the best, but I stand by my point that for a father to be considered attentive all he has to do is change a diaper and take his child to baseball practice once in a while. There's barely any requirement for them.
No. 2483793
File: 1744398705188.jpeg (26.26 KB, 500x281, 1648256212765.jpeg)
I am dealing with suicide ideation and its pretty bad. I am convinced its thanks to forcing myself to try new things. Back when i was neeting i used to daydream all the time about the life i could have if i tried. Ofcourse, in my fantasies everything worked out and i sucessfully turned myself around into a working normalfag. I had a sucessful career, tons of friends, a cute bf. I thought i could do it if i TRIED, and it was purely my choice to stick to NEETing. Now that i actually tried to achieve those fantasies and failed, i realize i have nothing left to lose. I should have NEVER tried. I am not a position where i can fail and learn from it and use it to improve my life. Its a one and done deal for me. I got nothing else, no hope, no dreams. I cant even go back to fantasizing about a sucessful life because its too painful to be reminded of i could have had it all if i wasnt me. Worst of all there is a girl i have to see everyday that easily achieved everything i wanted in life in a matter of weeks. I am so envious of this chick, everytime i see her i feel intense jealousy towards her. Its not fair, she has everything i want and dares to be a tif cutter. Meanwhile i got nothing and i try my best and i fail over and over again like a hummingbird stuck in house, i try to scape and fly away but i keep hitting my head in the ceiling and i always end up hurt. I have run out of things to fail at, at this point i would be happy with just succeeding at ONE thing. Yet, it doesnt seem like this will ever be the case, regardless of how much effort i put into something, i always fail. I dont have the strength to try anymore. I dont udnerstand why women like the stacy tif who get literally everything handed to them cut themselves, they dont know how good they have it. If they were in my place they would have killed themselves ages ago. I really hate my life and i want to go back to neeting i am tired of having to see other people make 0 effort and have the life i dream of.
No. 2483804
>>2483793>I am so envious of this chick, everytime i see her i feel intense jealousy towards her.Weird that she's a TIF but hey, you have that over her: you didn't fall for the misogynistic cult that wants you to mutilate yourself!
But you're right, it's not fair. I'm sorry you have to be confronted with that constantly. If it's affecting you so negatively, can you find a way to avoid her or change jobs? Out of sight, out of mind does work, and you have the right to handle your jealousy by avoiding it, you don't have to be a "bigger person".
>i try my best and i fail over and over again like a hummingbird stuck in house, i try to scape and fly away but i keep hitting my head in the ceiling and i always end up hurt.It sounds very painful nonna, but I think it's more a consequence of not having been exposed to the many frustrations of life for a long time. Neeting brings its own frustrations, but you grow used to them and learn how to handle them, healthily or not. It's the same with all other types of frustration: they become easier to manage. Ideally you'll find positive ways to do so but you're only human so that's gonna be a whole process.
I feel like maybe you had the wrong impression of what life was like for non-neets, that they don't go through the same amount of frustration, or that they have something inside them that you don't have, that makes them more resilient. I promise you normies also go through frustrations, and that you have what it takes too. Every new problem makes the previous and future ones seem smaller, because they actually are smaller than you think, you're just not used to them. They're new and scary. But I promise you, every new challenge will be more manageable and once you're out of survival mode, you'll be able to enjoy your new life and see that it's worth it.
Ganbatte
nonnie, every step takes you closer to happiness.
No. 2483815
>>2483808i hate doing it in the shower. not comfy.
i guess ill just fuck up the bed, or try not to be a slave to my desires and just go to bed unmasturbated
No. 2483820
>>2483804she's not a mutilated tif she can easily change back her retarded pronouns and its like nothing, she's just an attention whore. Thanks
nonny but the kind words but i cant keep up with this shit anymore, i am going back to neeting. Most people have something going on in their life that drives them to keep trying, i dont have that. This was my only chance at having something, but i failed tremendously, again.
No. 2483844
>>2483835What did you try to do this time that didn’t work out
nonny?
No. 2483862
>>2483857I am glad it worked out for you
nonny, but i am just too defeated to keep trying. I need a strong motivation. This guy i have a crush one was my main motivation, as cringe as that sound, but its pretty obvious by now he doesnt even want to be my friend, let alone something else.
No. 2483883
>>2483639It's not really like I have no trouble getting up, it's more like no matter when I finally fall asleep I always wake up at 5-6am. And the feeling of going to bed feeling shitty and then waking up still feeling shitty doesn't exactly instill joy, even worse if I had any sort of dream. But thanks.
>>2483653Yeah I usually put on some youtube essay/retrospective to watch, if I end up falling asleep while watching then that's good and if I don't I might have learned some completely useless fact nobody but I will be impressed by.
>>2483698Thanks
nonnie. Sleep has sadly rarely been calming for me because I have always suffered from night anxiety. It's almost a little silly how something you desperately need to do to function can be the cause of so much stress.
No. 2483887
>>2483862Being a neet is probably not going to improve your quality of life and security in the long run… My support system was nearly gone in an instant when one of my parents unexpectedly passed away just 2 years after I was done neeting. If I had still been a neet I would've been in so, so, so much trouble.
I won't try to change your mind from this post on, but you sound like you're quite young still, please think deeply about the consequences of neeting for your life in 5 or 10 or 25 years. Neeting puts you in such a difficult and vulnerable position financially and towards whoever you're dependent on. I'm assuming you're dependent on your parents since you mentioned trying to ask a guy out, is it worth not pursuing education right now while you still have your parents to support you even if it sucks, if them passing away inevitably is going to force you into a minimum wage job to survive later on in your life?
Btw this is coming from someone who went back to uni at 25 and had to suffer through interning, working for people in senior positions my age or younger, I know what failure is and how much life can blow.
Unless I'm fully misundestanding the situation and you have a trust fund or government income to survive off I guess.
No. 2483895
>>2483886kek thanks
nonny its cute but i need something else thats…bigger and actually contributes to my well-being and value as a person
>>2483887I get it. But i tried and failed. I dont know what to do anymore. If this is how my life is going to be from now on, then i dont see the difference between wasting time trying and failing and ending up stressed and suicidal or just neeting until my parents die and just kill myself. If both paths lead to the same outcome, but one is less stressful, then i dont know what benefits it brings me to keep trying to become a normalfag. Its just so painful. Maybe if i had SOMETHING i could depend on, like a bf, a good family, close friends, intelligence, something i am really good at, looks, idk ANYTHING i could keep trying. But i have lost all motivation to try.
No. 2483902
>>2483718Absolutely ridiculous, why are do you want the worst possible outcome for yourself, for a man who could otherwise get married to someone who actually wants him, and for a child who will have to witness the whole horrible thing? You will have no choice but to have this child essentially via rape, is that really how you want to bring them into this world?
You should read some actual research on the outcomes of different family structures, look up papers written by Susan Golombok. A lack of a father does not cause problems in itself, poor outcomes for single mothers are due to poverty, parental conflict and depression in the mother (things you will most likely experience if you force yourself to be with a man). Furthermore, there are alternative forms of a 'father figure' - men you know personally who can be rolemodels, a known donor who wants to be in the kids life. Donor conception can be complicated but you can generally avoid issues by telling the kid very early on.
I love my dad, he brings a lot of value to my life, but not all fathers do and many kids are better off without them. A nuclear family set up is not a magic bullet to giving a child a good life, and it is not inherently the best or most natural family structure. A happy mother who can provide the love and security a child needs is so, so much more important.
No. 2483923
>>2483911My biggest fear is pushing through with college and ending up in a dead end wagey job. My friend i met through an art server stopped drawing as soon as he got a full-time job. I havent drawn since i started uni because i am bust. Its scary. I dont like where my future leads, even in the ''best case scenario(finishing college, getting my degree)'' i cannot see myself being happy working. I cant think of any major life goals i want in life that i havent failed at already. My life is empty.
>>2483914While i was a neet i did freelance work and other projects(who also failed), as well as try to learn new skills(failed at, also) its not like i didnt do anything. I know you mean well, i just cant find the motivation to try anything new anymore.
No. 2483939
>>2483934Non depressed people have something going on in their life, i got nothing. I cant even get UGLY men to like me. My life is hell.
>>2483935but i dont think origami is achieving something lol just like how i dont think winning a game match is ''achieving something'' it has to be something that works towards a bigger end goal
No. 2483940
>>2483932you are i just had to express my distaste somewhere
>>2483936it's just a bunch of blue eyed white twinks in the thread nona, isn't that what gay men are usually into
No. 2483946
>>2483939>Non depressed people have something going on in their life, i got nothing. I cant even get UGLY men to like me. My life is hell.I mentioned this before but the things people have in their lives were found, not just given to them. That's exactly the point of being out in the world, finding these things that keep you moving forward. And all the time, these things change, some new ones appear and some lose importance or are "finished" somehow. It could be carreer ambition, finding a partner, or even just a birthday party on the weekend. You won't find anything stuck in your bedroom.
You're in crisis now. Neet out for some time, then try again. It gets easier every time.
No. 2483949
>>2483939There's a real chance you're depressed and that's a mental health condition that's skewing your perception of your life and future.
Please get help while you can. If it's like you said it is then you've got nothing to lose anyway.
No. 2483957
>>2483946>it gets easier every timeThats what i always tell myself and i ALWAYS end up feeling worse than before. Nothing ever improves. It just becomes a vicious cycle of telling myself things will get better, trying again, getting hurt, and ending up in worse shape than before. At this point its just self harm. Over and over until it completly shatters my spirit and drives me closer to suicide. You cant expect a person to try endlessly without eventually getting tired. I have been trying since i was 16 to improve, and so far things have only gotten worse. Even while neeting i was activelly trying, trying to make money, develop skills, get better. Nothing worked. If i could tell something to my 18yo self, it would be to give up, live a life with hopes and dreams you can daydream about rather than a life with a mountain of failures and completly shattered dreams. I really wish i could go back and not even try, 7 years of straight up failures have destroyed my will to live to the point i dont even know what to aim for anymore. I got nothing else i want to try at that i havent tried already and failed.
>>2483949I am in therapy, its not doing anything.
No. 2483995
File: 1744409750419.jpg (46.82 KB, 736x736, e819fcac417c818d5a1d60824f3ba3…)
>Decide to go on antidepressants because I'm sick of having mental breakdowns every week, even more so when I'm PMSing
>It gets rid of my mental breakdowns but also ruins any joy I would typically receive from my interests. Can't even be focused or excited about gaming anymore
So I just can't win huh? It's like I have to choose between all extreme ends of emotions or just no emotions/interests at all? Why can't there just be a fucking balance and why did I have to suffer like this?
No. 2484021
File: 1744410790741.jpeg (105.35 KB, 1125x284, IMG_6370.jpeg)
Yes, I know I’m a retard for searching it up in the first place, let alone poking in Reddit for it, but why powerlevel about your access to drugs that will kill you in suicide subreddits and then have this response kek. What the fuck were you even there for then. Saging for my own retardation
No. 2484029
>>2484021kek, send the message
nonny.
No. 2484030
File: 1744411066233.webp (21.23 KB, 680x699, 3d8.webp)
>>2484021I don't get it, you went to a suicide sub and some guy bragged that he had the drugs but wouldnt help you get them?
Mandatory picrel
No. 2484087
File: 1744413484589.jpg (34.13 KB, 735x646, 8948e63bcb7b6c00b5388b9b0afd9a…)
Why the fuck do i have like, actual BDD-tier dysmorphia over my height and constantly feel like im "too tall". to preface how retarded this is, im 5'2, maybe 5'3 with shoes, but I live in an area full of really short women (I very often see women who are 5'0 or shorter) Like what the fuck is this actual psychosis. give me a lobotomy please!
No. 2484088
File: 1744413509611.jpeg (160.07 KB, 2048x748, IMG_5388.jpeg)
Not trying to be political in any way. (I’m neutral but leaning more towards the woke side) but it fucking sucks finding friends out here that aren’t ridden with self diagnosed disorders or conflicted with their gender identity. Like why can’t a “woke” person be normal without constantly having a victim complex. Most friends I’ve had in the past were so stressful to be around. They always had an excuse to act shitty. They aren’t making themselves look any better towards people against them. It hasn’t radicalized me in any way. Buts it’s definitely a huge turn off when I try to be sympathetic towards them but they only want more negativity or just want to constantly stay in the state of mind.
No. 2484119
>>2482622you only see the succesful ones, every time i hop on ig reels i see bitches who wouldn't obviously make it and it saddens me to see them try so hard for their <500 followers, even if they're pretty they don't understand that to be famous this way you must degrade yourself in disgusting or innovative ways. i was facebook famous by being misandric before this uwu
femcel!! pandemic, but having to degrade yourself every time isn't fucking worth it. nowadays some random scrotes still remember me by my full name or face
No. 2484173
>>2484009Nah you don't sound like a dick
nonnie you're absolutely right. I do need to physically exhaust myself and just get out more in general, I feel like it would help for sure. I'm hoping that the medication + getting a lot of physical exhaustion in might calm me down in the right sort of way.
No. 2484207
File: 1744417871482.gif (112.35 KB, 480x317, rub_this_anon_belly_for_luck_a…)
>>2484144Maybe your boss doesn't appreciate you but we do, job-haver anon
No. 2484218
File: 1744418589712.png (457.46 KB, 944x960, 844.png)
i want something to get into, i hate lulls where i don't have hobbies. at least i'll be back in school again soon but every show/movie i try to watch is slop and my normal interests and hobbies (select few lolcows, this website, things here and there for short periods of time) are not cutting it for me. its good that its almost summer but i am so bored right now
No. 2484319
File: 1744425152766.jpeg (24.3 KB, 534x485, 9C4C9549-FE3A-46C2-9036-D8A459…)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA( not the dumbass shit thread)
No. 2484338
File: 1744426163330.jpg (86.16 KB, 440x330, nerd03.jpg)
>>2484334Why would you come to a place where anons enjoy making fun of each other? To make us feel guilty and wrong about our culture?
No. 2484346
File: 1744426547655.jpg (6.99 KB, 235x235, dRAoC3gp_400x400.jpg)
I had a bad handling session with my lizard and now I'm pretty sure I lost some of his trust. I put my hand near him after putting in back in his enclosure, and he literally scurried away. Just a few minutes before that he was literally licking my hand a ton. I feel awful.
No. 2484347
>>2484338Anon why are you taking that vent personally kek.
>>2484334I feel the same way. Complete panic inside when it happens.
No. 2484489
>>2484488But it’s not like I go around harassing bi scrotes. I don’t, I keep it to myself.
Most of them don’t even say they are bi, they just cheat on you and then cry biphobia or never say it until four years down the line and then bitch that you are a bigot, the
victim complex is insane. They are not in tune with their feminine side yada yada because they are the same pornsick (more of them have kinks actually) and misogynistic as their straight bros. It’s hard to trust them when they show that they are shitty.
No. 2484490
>>2484488This. Relationships work better with people who have shared experiences, it's simple fact. Sure "love wins all" or whatever but realistically it's harder if you come from different places in life. I don't get why it's such a bad thing to be bi4bi or les4les or straight4straight, the trannies had the right idea with t4t even though their shared experience is mental illness.
It's just women are policed more, obviously. Meanwhile moids harass bi women and lesbians all the time for their pornsick fantasies but nobody calls them out.
No. 2484501
>>2484498This. And this applies to the "gay" moids too, who go and get married to a woman, have 3 kids with her, and then suddenly go AWOL and say they're gay. If they enjoyed sex with a woman that much they're not fully gay.
I also hate how women who claim they're lesbian get policed more than moids for having sexual history with moids. I think in both cases they're bi, but the double standards are real.
No. 2484503
>>2484502? I don’t really get what you wanted to say kek.
I mean that they aren’t willing to be truthful and open and still expect the woman they are lying to to accept them at their terms.
No. 2484590
File: 1744455345965.png (108.08 KB, 1050x750, 1658364916656919.png)
>>2483943>what’s your bigger end goal? if i had money i would stay home and draw all day. Thats my only ''goal''. I would like to make games too, i started learning how to code but had to stop because college sucks any free time i have.
> What did it look like?i just want a comfy life doing what i like and having a cute bf i can cuddle at night, thats pretty much it.
>If you’re in school to improve your career prospects what were you hoping a career would give youi enrolled in college because i had no choice. I used to daydream about being a college stacy with friends and a bf but ofcourse i understood those are dreams and i didnt went in with that expectation in mind, so having to see a stupid tif living out my dream college life was brutal. I have never felt so jealous and depressed.
No. 2484640
>>2484590I need you to stop right now. This guy is 18. You are 23. Maybe if you were both in your 20s the age difference wouldn't be that weird, but right now, it is weird. He is a college freshman. If you had enrolled in college straight out of high school, you would be a senior. Maybe even someone returning for a fifth year. That's weird. Also, you seem to think if this girl wasn't around you'd have a chance with this guy. You wouldn't. He doesn't like you. He has told you in every way except verbally that he doesn't. You've said before that he is "nice" to you, he is not. He is just extremely passive and weak. What kind of guy says "yes" to dating you and then completely ignores you? One who cannot say no. That is not a trait you want in a partner, stop idolizing him. The girl you are jealous of, she presents herself as a stereotypical girl but uses he/him pronouns, correct? She is mentally ill, there is nothing to be jealous of. I need you to grow a backbone and completely ignore the two of them. Even if the weak boy tries to engage you, be curt and do not entertain them. Until you can do this, I do not want to see you crying about it here. Lastly, you are 23. That is still extremely young. Maybe I seem harsh to you but I need you to stand up for yourself and not accept poor treatment from others. Only then will your life begin to get better.
No. 2484657
File: 1744461861223.jpg (37.77 KB, 680x665, F21L9naW4AAuS_j.jpg)
>"sorry I can't chat tonight I need to wake up early tomorrow"
>Twitter post till 5 am about some anime
I wish I had real friends. I wish I didn't feel so attached to online "friends" that don't give me a fraction of the attention I give them.
No. 2484658
File: 1744462121088.jpg (26.87 KB, 500x344, c3bdc934340234dd9c626f77068da9…)
>mom watches my skincare routine
>makes a stupid face when I apply my vitamin c serum, making some comment implying it's immature(??)
>watches me apply sunscreen, says it's unnecessary since she's in her 50s and never did it
>fast forward a week
>she buys a new moisturizer with spf and extra masks with antioxidants
Literally why is she like that. Every fucking time she does this. She sees me doing or expressing my liking for hobbies, habits, ideas, places, food etc., she mocks them and makes fun of me and then she turns around and imitates me. What the fuck is your problem, why can't you just be normal? I would love to just bond over interests with her but she pulls this shit every single time.
No. 2484714
>>2484661I mean you are miserable kek, you don’t even know if the guy friend is, with the money he has he can afford things he like.
People work to have money, do you think there’s someone who enjoys working everyday? No they don’t. Like the other nonna said you sound and act like a cry baby, you are immature and have no prospect, you keep wallowing in self pity and soothing yourself.
No. 2484715
>>2484700>Anyway I'm just going to be a cunt and tell them I'm not feeling like going to brunch and will probably not go out to eat with these friends ever again I agree, either don't go and pay only your food and drinks and make that clear from the start. I don't drink alcohol for the same reason and I don't even like how it tastes in general and the very few times my friends and I go out to eat and they order the same menus and alcohol I make sure I don't pay for them because it gets expensive very fast. I don't care how it makes me look at all, if I'm drinking free water and everyone else eats the same food but order one or two glasses of wine that cost 12€ each like last time I'm not getting involved anymore.
>friend then sends me a spot literally more expensive than the first restaurant i suggestedSome of my friends did this when we were supposed to celebrate something for me in particular, I made plenty of suggestions that were easily accessible for everyone and had good food and drinks, and the bar we went to because of them barely had any good mocktails. And on top of that it was a pain in the ass to get there and it was a small, quiet bar in which my friends were screaming and acting like tards and spilling food on my clothes so after agreeing and being disappointed yet again I started refusing hanging out with friends a lot more often. Weekends are a lot more relaxing for me now. You don't see your friends as often as I do so maybe it's not comparable though.
No. 2484717
>>2484713>18High schooler .
But I don’t even care about the scrote, I am saying that you are ridiculing yourself right now; he has rejected you already, move on.
No. 2484721
>>2484714I dont want money. I live in a shithole, even with a degree i will earn elss than a walmart employee.
>you don’t even know if the guy friend is, with the money he has he can afford things he like. Again i never shitted on my friend, i am happy for him. But i dont get motivated by money. My only motivation is drawing, and i cant even do that anymore because of uni.
>>2484717he's in college.
>he has rejected you already, move on.i already have, i added it to my never ending pile of things i failed at. But this is the vent thread and i want to vent about how i failed to get the only guy i ever found attractive in my life. There is no chance i will ever met another guy that looks like him.
No. 2484741
>>2484727I dont have a job and i hate uni. I want something that makes me happy for once.
>>2484730I have been living for 23 years and this is the ONLY guy i have ever felt attracted to. I am from latam literally every single scrote has that ugly faggy hitler youth hairstyle and a beard. The guy i like is literally the only guy in my class without a buzzcut THE ONLY ONE. How the fuck am i supposed to lie to myself and tell myself i will find another guy that looks like him when there is evidence to prove he's a rare type. Men in my country are allergic to long hair and sadly long hair is the thing i find the most attractive about men.
>>2484732Kys scrote dont push your fetishes onto me. We cant even vent without scrotes turning it into fap fuel.
(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE) No. 2484751
File: 1744469149473.webp (46.78 KB, 900x900, IMG_1993.webp)
>>2484730This was his look alike kekkk
No. 2484755
>>2484748Ok but you dont have a rare type kek i do. I have yet to see another guy that looks like him. And he fits my type to a tee. I domt even want a long relationship if we dated for a month had sex and then it didnt work out then i would still be happy. I just want to feel whats its like to be with someone i find attractive. I am also shallow i dont like men flr their personalities and i am not interested in lifelong relationships.
>>2484751With long fluffly hair and rounder glasses tho
No. 2484756
File: 1744469412917.jpg (16.44 KB, 1148x648, polska.jpg)
Sometimes I absolutely hate being Polish and living in Poland, change my mind. I'm a GC feminist and I feel like I don't fit to this country at all.
No. 2484758
>>2484752My bad probably trying to make my posts less recognizable. Yeah i rememner switching uni for work. But i dont work.
>>2484753Maybe if god gave me something else in life i wouldnt need to chase dick but alas my life is miserable and painful and i cant even get a cute guy to hug at night to at least ease some of the pain
No. 2484769
>>2484767Stop writing fanfiction about my life weirdo. Like i said my vent isnt about ONLY HIM. But rather that i can never achieve anything i want no matter how much i try. Having one single thing that i achieved would improve my life ten fold. Ofcourse you wouldnt understand because you arent cursed with a miserable life of failures. Again, happy for you
nonny ♥ you would kill youself in my place
No. 2484779
>>2484777Thanks,
nonny. ♥
No. 2484866
>>2484756I guess, I'm gonna reglue it. I live in Poland. For most women, sex life looks sorta like this:
- a woman has sex with a scrote
- she is being probably filmed by said scrote
- she receives plethora of retribution, because of that
- folks in Wykop insinuate she likes having sex with black guys (sorry for unintentional well all know what bait)
- she gets raped and killed then.
I reckon, it's the life for most women from Poland.
Uh huh, they also get trafficked.
Most Polish women are raised as good Catholics.
No. 2484871
File: 1744476798566.jpg (263.94 KB, 1080x1169, image.jpg)
My mother underwent open heart surgery a few months ago and has since been hospitalised on and off due to various complications, and for the most recent one my father implied she was faking it and that she is a burden to me, neither of which are true. He also suggested she look into moving into a nursing home. I'm frustrated but simultaneously didn't expect much to begin with since moids are not familiar with the concept of empathy or compassion. Genuine defective sex that I hope we move past as a species in the near future.
No. 2484906
File: 1744479274654.webp (44.09 KB, 1200x800, what_we_do_in_the_shadows_stil…)
>>2484890I just remember seeing a documentary by a bdsm midget who looked like picrel (on yt) about child trafficking in poland. It was annoying bc I have no idea if any of the content presented was real or if it was just coomer urban legends that the midget gets off to (or made up himself). He interviewed people involved in trafficking (like a pregnant polish woman and a trafficker) but the entire thing was bdsm-coded and the midget wore bondage clothing and used weird bdsm sets so that also makes me suspect he used actors and just wants to make "extreme" content. It's really awful when scrotes are the ones "investigating" things like this bc they're so prone to lying bc they're pedophiles themselves and get off on presenting these ideas to "normies". I've really wanted to hear a polish woman's take since watching that
No. 2484986
>>2484866Stop having sex with men then? It's not that hard. The men are very low quality. You don't have to fuck them. This also sounds like a load of bullshit to me personally.
>>2484858Russia is bordering on nationwide bankruptcy, they aren't going to invade anything beyond what they did already. The country is basically ruined and it was already in poverty before starting the war.
No. 2484992
File: 1744483465727.jpg (374.4 KB, 1440x810, somethingsliveforever.jpg)
>>2484986I unironically think that if america really wanted to invade russia, they would make good jeans again. The wall pretty much fell bc the russians wanted levis so badly. Obviously having an enviable economy and culture/film industry helps but that would be a byproduct of employed americans creating quality products again. The circus would all be more believable if the politicians at least tried these things, instead of saying that to get votes and centralizing power more instead
No. 2485000
>>2484987>people only want things from me but don't actually like me and discard me once I am no longer useful>the people I try to love hate me backI feel you
nonny, look into the channel of the video I linked, I watched most of the stuff there and it helped me tremendously
No. 2485086
>>2485074It would also be difficult for anons to support you through that, bc of the hilarious way this started too
>>2485084You should probably be aloof for at least a month and only bc you say she's not usually like that. If it happens again, she probably has issues and you need to block her. I was friends with a couple girls who turned that way as teenagers and the rest of the "fun times" started pretty quickly after that. Pretty glad I moved on
No. 2485104
File: 1744491708621.jpg (68.96 KB, 1170x649, tumblr_397abf602c5c878f32b6dff…)
is everyone just living the same life. i thought i was at least unique in my mental illness but this post had like 50k notes
No. 2485141
I think I have become what you call “black pilled”, this past year I’ve gotten more into feminism and actually dug my way down rather than just stopping at surface level and it’s like a thin veil got lifted up. It’s genuinely depressing and bleak how in dire need we are of change and yet nothing is made, it’s bleak that men treat us like this, that they hate us this much. I’ve been called crazy but really once you see it, it’s literally everywhere.
I hardly see men as human beings anymore, just an abomination, a defect, parasites. I used to always dream about my perfect guy, one that would sweep me off my feet and love me , but I don’t even daydream now, not when I know that women enter in active danger once they are with men, and there’s no way you can even tell sometimes, not when I know that men simply use, even when they “love”.
Being safe is remaining alone and limiting contact as much as necessary. I hope I can do my little part in the future, I plan to become a gynecologist and maybe study endo. I really want to focus my life around women and women only.
No. 2485161
>>2485104It sounds like a moid summarizing a woman getting upset about anything tbh. But's it's from a woman named "sulky", so obviously that can't be the case…
Also I'm not even american and would find it kind of insensitive to post this rn
No. 2485238
File: 1744503483653.jpg (49.57 KB, 588x454, 1000006564.jpg)
Friend is talking about relationship drama while Im trying to do integral equations, with how much male engineering majors talk about not having felt the touch of a woman Im wondering if Im even gonna have no girlfriend by the time I enter a 4-year college or if that sort of thing doesn't apply to women.
No. 2485286
File: 1744510156141.jpg (15.22 KB, 307x300, 1000152478.jpg)
So I came back from a party and I was happy to see that a friend of mine is changing in a good way, she's trying to eat healthy and such, so I'm happy.
The thing is that I told my parents and my brother's girlfriend because we were having dinner together.
So, the issue is that it all became a talk about aging and such, and I was like, I always tell people that I'm older than how I am in reality because I forget about it all of the time, I always say my brother's age.
The thing is that my brother's girlfriend was talking about her cousin, her cousin is 33 years old and she used to be like, always having sex with random guys three times a day with different guys and going to parties, but now that she's the really old age of 33 years of age, she doesn't like it anymore and is bored of going to parties.
My brother's girlfriend then said that it's normal, that she's 31 and also feels like she's not interested in going to parties and such and that up until her 25's she was happy with staying up all night long and such.
I didn't even want to talk because not too long ago I was told at my 28 years of age that I was too old to want to go to parties or night clubs to dance to, that I sound childish.
But let's think about this, I've always been told that I'm childish.
>9 years old
I was a 9 years old woman when I was told I shouldn't get twintails and twinbraids.
>13 years old
I was a 13 years old woman when I was told I shouldn't like dolls and that I should try to make friends so I could go to parties.
>15 years old
I was a 15 years old woman when I was told I should stop liking anime and vocaloid because it was childish, that I should try wearing some makeup and get some friends so I could go to parties.
>18 years old
I was told I was too old to draw and to go to anime conventions.
>21 years old
I was too old to want to go to nightclubs and parties.
>25 years old
I was an ancient old lady that would look ridiculous at a nightclub and that I would get kicked out
>28/29 years old
I'm told that I should stop wanting to go to nightclubs with friends because I won't get accepted at all because I'm clearly too old for such things.
And I think, I never really did any of the things I wanted to do when I was at the "appropriate age" because my country is dangerous as fuck and I didn't have any friends that wanted to do such things like partying. And we're talking about friends that are either younger or my same age.
So then I think, were they too old as well at 18 or 20 years old? Or were they just not into the same things I was into and didn't even want to experience dancing or listening to some loud music and singing along?
I'm not even the type of person that wants to do such things daily, I just wanted to have some fun every, idk, 5 months or something.
But I'm too old, I've always been too old for anything I wanted to do.
I always get so annoyed, maybe angry too, because I listen to my family members and people like my brother's girlfriend that got to do things that I've always wanted to do and I can't even say I relate to the idea of being "too tired for that" or "already bored of that" because I didn't really experience doing things on my own because I'm the only young woman in my family, meanwhile my brother was always allowed to do anything because he's a man, that's it, nothing bad happens to men, they're never too old, they're never childish for wanting to do anything.
I can't even drive because everyone always has an excuse for me to not learn how to do so, but everyone wants me to be independent. Hell, everyone is annoyed because I have a job, but everyone was also annoyed when I didn't have a job.
So what fucking is it?
No. 2485304
File: 1744512364045.jpeg (299.56 KB, 1290x1671, IMG_7134.jpeg)
Can someone PLEASE tell me some techniques/tips for dissociating myself from a certain thought/concept. I'm okay at it but I need something stronger. I try to research but everyone online is like Oh you don't want to do that sweetie nooo dissociation is bad Like I know it is. I get it. I don't care. I need to make a certain set of thoughts 100% illegal in my brain or I will want to kill myself
No. 2485319
File: 1744513684242.gif (732.83 KB, 275x248, 1556508738901.gif)
How do I not just walk into a random highschool/college classroom and kill all the males in it at this point. We need a war or something to cull these freaks already I'm not sure how much more I can take.
No. 2485332
File: 1744515283792.jpeg (17.32 KB, 340x340, d0bc488b6d7801cda0366b948afde9…)
>>2485327
It's that old saying "hard times create strong men. strong men create good times" - but now with women. And look at you examining yourself and improving, it's already working nona
No. 2485375
>>2485303I live in latam, but at this point it's not that different from living in the middle east because I really have always been told to mind what I do and so on.
I know this country is dangerous but there's no way in hell I could be the only person getting in trouble or hurt.
They really just think I'm some low functioning autist that needs a caretaker for life. But I can do shit on my own, I just need to read about it a few times and I will get it.
I even told my family a few weeks ago that I'm so sick of never doing anything at all that I should just get into disability (which sucks ass) and live with my brother when my parents die so he can hate me even more but this time with a reason.
My family always gets annoyed whenever I do something that makes them change their daily plans, it's seriously tiresome, this is why I also have a hard time meeting new people. Like when I was in uni they were annoyed because I had a different schedule to my brother's, it took them a while to let me use the public transport of the city because it was too dangerous, and it is but I survived.
They also got annoyed because I did take some driving lessons and it also messed with the schedules they all had, so I got sick of it and decided to drop them so I didn't inconvenience anyone, then everything was okay but everyone got mad at me because I supposedly didn't learn how to drive, but they never even let me show them what I learnt so I honestly gave up on that too.
Actually, during my internships, I had issues to go to the school I was doing them at because my brother was mad and didn't want to wake up early to take me there in like 10 minutes by car, to the point that I had to pretend I was sick so I didn't have any issues with the school I had to go to. We even had to pay someone to take me there because then he ratted to my parents and told them that I was waking up too early to go to school by walking.
Every time I remember any moment in which I tried to be independent that then was ruined by them makes me wonder if I'm actually just plain retarded and if I should just kill myself so no one is worried anymore about me ever doing anything by myself or just because.
And I really love my family, but I don't get why they have to be like this and then say that I'm just too lazy or too ditzy to do anything on my own.
No. 2485380
File: 1744522785492.jpg (8.87 KB, 225x225, YAY.jpg)
job hunting is the most miserable and soul-sucking experience ever and honestly i'm at my limit. nine months and several interviews yet i've had nothing. at this rate i might as well put a gun in my mouth because i'm losing hope that anyone would want to hire me, and not to mention its so demeaning going in for a meeting with a caseworker about my situation every month just to tell them im a fucking failure. if god is real i wish he'd just take me now because im at my goddamn limit and am losing all desire to do anything but stay in bed all day and occasionally boot up my pc to play video games
No. 2485381
>>2485380I've been there nona. I have a degree and was laid off a while back. It took me 8 months to find a job. Not even food service or retail would hire me because I was "overqualified". I felt the same exact way you did and just wanted to jump out a window.
Let yourself bed rot for a day. You deserve a short break from the grind.
Just don't give up, nona. Hopefully you'll be back in the saddle soon.
No. 2485399
File: 1744525828744.jpg (41.77 KB, 640x652, 4943153f041e8951150e82b83fe63d…)
Have barely drawn since new years because I fell into a mega depression and now any time I have an idea (legitimately once a month if at all) or simply want to draw I either back away immediately because it'll look like shit or try it anyway and it looks like shit. doesn't help that I can't bring myself to study fundies anymore since it always well you guessed it looked like shit mostly because I can't learn properly or something. Fml that was the only hobby I was decent at
No. 2485400
didn’t find an advice thread, so i dont know if this is the right place, but im at a complete loss. my bf of a few months still has pictures of him and his old gf from 8-5 years ago on his instagram feed, and when i complained about it and said it hurts me, he told me i have no right to complain, because i hurt him by keeping in touch with my exes. and that the posts are “legacy” and his ex gf isnt in his life anymore, meanwhile i keep contact with almost everyone i once dated. is it comparable? i do try to stay friends with the people i have dated (he says its VERY WEIRD and nobody does that - i guess its true?), but to his wish i have stopped doing almost anything IRL with them, have minimized the conversations, dont mention it to him. and yet he still holds it against me and acts like i cannot criticise any of his actions, because when we weigh our actions he always comes out the martyr.
No. 2485414
please help, im working at target and i do fulfillment. i keep being harassed by random men who come up to me in empty aisles, ask for my number, then follow me when i say no. i recently saw an old guy fapping through his pocket. we crossed paths a little later, he tried making conversation. a fat coworker also made weird comments, doesnt do his fucking job and even yells at the managers, but still works here. ive told hr everything. but theres only so much they can do. like, i would have to cause a scene, get a team lead to come over and remove that person from the store, or only give them a warning. thats all the fat guy got, a slap on the wrist. i dont need this job, but i like most of the people here. do i keep putting up with creeps or should i quit? im at my limit!!! anyways i hope that old man has a heart attack today
No. 2485443
I am too autistic and retarded to live. Some people are better off dead and im one of those people. Im lazy, retarded, uncreative, stupid, ugly, uncool, unfunny and insufferable to be around
>but nona most people are average
Im not average, im mentally handicapped at this point. I have nothing good or interesting to say, no matter where i go shit it up with my sperging and end up sounding completely stupid, i never blend in or really end up getting along with people. There is nothing i like, nothing i enjoy. Everything i say is always wrong. People like to say that there are worse things in life but im not living any life, im not even human. Even those poor people can be somewhat normal, i'll always have to act lobotomized because my real self is insufferable. I have to kill myself, i'm never gonna be normal or well adjusted.
No. 2485466
>>2485451coming into the relationship we made an agreement that i wont be friendly with my exes, and i am fine with these boundaries. i just dont want to completely expunge people out of my life, especially when it all happened years ago.
sorry nonnas, ill take the L and wont pollute your vent thread. i guess the thing that hurts me most is not even the pics with ex gf, but the feeling that im not allowed to be hurt even a little bit, just because he’s hurting more
No. 2485470
>>2485466It’s not about being hurt , it’s about you being a massive hypocrite.
>i just dont want to completely expunge people out of my life, especially when it all happened years agoDo you realize that the same thing can be applied to him? Even more kek. He isn’t having contact with his exes while you are.
No. 2485496
>>2485157>>2485213Thanks
nonnieUpdate : she's fine this morning, she's still not walking much and she seems itchy but I think it's just her feathers growing.
She looks more energetic, I don't know if it was the leg treatment or the antibiotics that helped her. Yesterday she was limping and she is not anymore, she's just a little slow. She was resting in her little house, I put her some wet bread at the entrance so she can eat without going out.
I think once new scales grow on her legs she'll be running around again.
I'm continuing antibiotics for 2-3 more days in case that's what helped her and also to avoid leg infection.
She has some diarrhea because of them, but it's good it shows they actually went into her system.
I think she'll be fine. Usually, when a hen starts limping, she'll either be dead the next day, or healed the next day. I think in this case it's the latter, but she needs a little longer to recover fully.
No. 2485521
File: 1744540715463.jpg (62.39 KB, 500x469, _f4f3a7ca_500.jpg)
I'm weirdly out-of-the-loop when it comes to any pop-culture. Internet and few autistic video games are my main source of entertainment so I have second-hand knowledge of popular films, shows, anime, etc, but I barely consume any media and if I do get into new stuff I miss the actual fandoms for it by years.
I think internet and depression have destroyed my attention span. I used to be a bookworm, but of course, I don't read anymore either. I know it's a first world problem ("wahh, consuming entertainment I'm not already familiar with feels like a chore") but it bugs me how lazy I am when it comes to new experiences, even if it's just media.
No. 2485544
File: 1744543388935.jpg (36.02 KB, 500x429, 1000026880.jpg)
Why is every normie now screaming "PEAK" at any basic goyslop garbage… or ending every sentence with "BRO"… it honestly activates my murderous intent like… shut the fuck up…
No. 2485546
File: 1744543857627.jpg (135.38 KB, 1200x900, 1631361037046.jpg)
>trying to buy a house
>find perfect neighborhood where we wouldn't have to compromise on literally anything
>only house for sale that isn't 2MM+ is slightly out of our price range
>house is perfect for our needs
I know I'm lucky to be in the position where I can afford what I can, let alone buy a home, but fuck this sucks. I'm hoping I can make the extra money we'd need materialize from somewhere or that the current owners will accept a lowball offer, but I know that I'm being delusional.
No. 2485584
File: 1744550956228.jpg (40.05 KB, 567x670, 1605559652301.jpg)
In my mid-20s, completely socially inept with a useless degree and enough mental problems to cripple me in long-term decision making and employment. I just found out my last employer lied straight to my face about why they let me go months ago. I've never even liked doing anything or had any interest in relationships, careers, hobbies, etc. Everyone I talk to is a two-faced snake and I know people laugh about me behind my back for being awkward and unconventional. Some days I feel so empty I can't even taste food.
I'm at a high risk for developing skin cancer, so I'll sit around in the sun and wait for that to take me out. I just want out but I don't want it to seem deliberate.
>>2485443Feel you, nona. Some of us just weren't meant to be around.
No. 2485665
>>2485636They aren't your friends then. I hope you can find the courage to let go of them. I've felt the same way for my entire life and don't go out of my way to hang out with people anymore. Being alone sucks too but it's much more bearable for me. If I really think about it I realize that I've never met anyone I really
needed to be around so it doesn't bother me anymore when people treat me like some kind of freak despite me being completely average.
No. 2485666
I'm getting more and more convinced everyday that a lot of moids are bipolar by default, because there's no fucking way I keep seeing so many of them with visible mood swings and changes in the way they perceive you and all that must mean nothing. My stepbrother demeanour around me changes like a switch, one day he can be caring and nice with me, and next day cold and sarcastic and straight up mean. My ex was the same, he was going back and forth from loving me and being affectionate to wanting to get rid of me and be left alone. My dad was like this too, I didn't know if today he's gonna be warm or toxic. I don't think it's a coincidence or that I'm cursed to meet men like this, because I hear that a lot of women struggle with the same problem, the men around them are never constant, whether it's about male relatives, male friends, situationships or boyfriends.
No. 2485680
>>2485629This is really stressful, please keep us updated nonna. One time my ex went up the road to the pharmacy to get me some meds. I was already sleeping when he left at like 830pm. Pharmacy was 1 mile up the road. I woke up near midnight and he was still gone, car still gone, no meds on the table, no texts from him. I tried calling and texting, no answers. I’m starting to freak out. I call the drug store and ask if they saw someone fitting his description come inside, no they hadn’t. wtf? I call the hospital but he’s not there either. I call him again, no answer. Finally I call the non emergency line for police and explain to them the issue as I’m crying and running up the street in the middle of the night. They tell me to chill and stay home, they’re gonna go look for him. 5 min later I get a call from a cop and he found my ex - he was passed out in the parking lot. Cop thought he was drunk or on drugs (he was neither, he has a sleeping disorder). Thankfully he wasn’t dead and thankfully he didn’t get arrested. But he had never even gone into the drug store, he just drove there and fell asleep. I hope your sister just fell asleep somewhere. Has she ever fallen asleep anywhere?
No. 2485681
>>2485672Not sure what the laws around this are like where you live but is there an option to check hospitals or police reports as well? One of my roommates went missing like this at one point and we were able to find her by calling/looking up public records from those local institutes.
I really hope your sister is okay. I don't normally pray but I'll make the exception for her today.
No. 2485806
File: 1744567202903.jpeg (130.41 KB, 892x1024, 1632511342238.jpeg)
Drank my 1.5L! Only 65 more years of this shit! Every! Single! Day! Yay!
No. 2485812
>>2485809If I don't force myself I drink less than half a liter a day and get really bad constipation and all the other fun stuff though
>>2485811I don't know, I just never feel thirty, I remember like two instances in my whole life where I felt like I needed to drink something.
No. 2485846
File: 1744570023438.png (90.01 KB, 706x264, tumblr_naokatRDU31s9t4pqo1_128…)
I hate that I'm fucking picrel whenever something goes wrong in my life and idk what to do. I start spiraling at an insane fucking speed and turn into a fucking mess for 24 hours, making a fool out of myself because I am panicking. But as soon as I'm done I'm all "okay time to look over my back-up plans and write up a map of what to do next", and get into a pretty competent problem-solving mode. I'm so fucking embarrassing when I'm at the point where I'm so stuck I can't do anything but panic and cry, I can't focus on anything and while it's nice to talk it out with someone so I can get it somewhat out of my system, at that moment I'm emotionally not even in the same galaxy as the person in front of me.
No. 2485875
>>2485851Anon I think you’re talking like this because you were scared to death and obviously your mother’s reply would hurt you even if it wasn’t her intention. The thought of her being that bad must have been so scary and I’m sure you were terrified, right now she can’t comprehend that because she was the one feeling sick and sometimes it’s hard to be put in other people’s shoes (I can be wrong though).
I’m glad your mom’s feeling better, I wish her a speed recovery, take care of you too, I’m sure it has been exhausting.
No. 2485977
File: 1744578231446.webp (8.65 KB, 598x900, anons_glass_full_analysis.webp)
>>2485959Maybe life is bullying into creating art, music or something meaningful. Then you can sell that and finally reap the long-overdue rewards waiting for you. Maybe the first part of your life was developing character or going through horrible situations that you could whitewash to seem funny and relatable to anons like us. Anything is possible!
No. 2486008
>>2485988>collegeJust get through that part nona, it seems like many anons hated college/uni but all agree it was worth it to get where they're at today. It will probably be perfect timing after the recession and you'll finally see a pay off to these awful things. And don't worry about the moid bc he is expendable
and replaceable, unlike you, a female-woman
No. 2486028
File: 1744580056230.jpg (15.47 KB, 236x330, a9548aef84a2bb26dc41ebb93fbf0c…)
>>2486011>I just want to drawThis is more important than wanting to go to college imo. As long as there is something you enjoy doing, you have a clear purpose and just stuff temporarily in the way of that. Maybe college will help you learn ways to be lazy but in a smart way that pays your bills and keeps you from thinking about money too much
No. 2486038
File: 1744580334516.png (843.69 KB, 1057x733, 1744580124105.png)
>psycho ex back to slipping printed out texts under my door again
just make it stop
even had to disconnect my doorbell not to get PTSD every other day
No. 2486054
File: 1744581236545.webp (82.17 KB, 1140x869, il_1140xN.6549528520_s83i.webp)
>>2486047If you don't want to trade time, the other option is value. Maybe you could find cool natural minerals and sell them or something. Like this rock is being sold for almost 20 grand on etsy
this also makes me even more pissed about the complaining peruvian-OF anon, since some of the most expensive minerals are from peru jfc No. 2486090
>>2486054lmao i live in a city
nonny. Selling minerals sounds cozy as fuck though.
No. 2486107
>>2486099>, I got forcibly institutionalised and the state threw away all of my belongings during that time as well.How does this happen? Can you tell me about it if you feel like it?
I would also suggest trying to find online friends and then if you are comfortable real life ones too.
No. 2486109
>>2486062it is scary. if you don't trust your nigel to discuss this, you need to ask why you're with him and what you need to do to be safe and also feel safe.
try starting with objective facts. the majority of men watch porn or watched porn, and their views of women are already influenced by it. have you looked into research on the percentage of men that are pedophiles and rapists? i don't mean to sound fearmongering but having actual numbers and grounding your understanding in research can help you manage your life and feelings.
there are levels to the woman-hatred each man has. when it comes to porn and sexual fantasies, ultimately you can't truly know with how accessible porn is nowadays. being with a man consists of some level of risk (like most decisions in life) and you have to decide what you're comfortable with.
No. 2486124
>>2486117The fake autists, BPD, DID retards would place at this kek, they get really squeamish when people , surprise surprise, have debilitating symptoms from their mental illness.
This sounds so scary nonna, do you recall any of those six months? Did they give you medication? How do you feel now?
No. 2486143
>>2486135> I was also homeless for a week and got raped twicePerks of being a woman I guess? Sorry for the morbid joke nonna. Dealing with a mental illness is shitty enough, when you add also being a woman it just makes you even more vulnerable. I’m really sorry you have to live with this condition nonna.
Can’t you like live with someone? Even your parents at this point. Do you live alone now? There isn’t a safe instituiton for people like you or like an organization? Is there a possibility to change medications too? Guaranteed I know nothing about schizophrenia but I heard that in order to find the right cocktail of meds you often need to try many times.
I know it sounds stupid given what you have been through, but stay strong and keep it together, you had a bad moment, but now you’re up, you’ll find your equilibrium nonna.
No. 2486271
File: 1744595774934.jpg (268.22 KB, 720x1465, Zzzzzzz.jpg)
>>2486267>I did exaggerate in my postNta but assuming its this then I don't think you exaggerated. Reason I avoid cow threads
No. 2486274
File: 1744596075148.jpg (41.43 KB, 736x700, 628636675156e4144528ed22bcd2f0…)
>>2486261
You make a lot of good points for moving out. Why not do that anon?
No. 2486289
>>2486279I wasn't her biggest fan or anything because she was degenerate and simped for trannies but I miss android raptor and her /pol/cel-
triggering ways. Now you have these losers who just parrot tired out /pol/ talking points. The lolcow.farm thread on there currently is circlejerking over how much superior they are to us because of the weegeefag threads' shitposts and baitposts.
No. 2486298
>>2486289KF is just reddit for edgy moids who want to hate black people freely. I always found it ironic how much they hate reddit while acting just like them with the constant circlejerks and obsession with their own form of upvotes.
Meanwhile they unironically defend rape and pedophilia. They'll pretend up and down to be disgusted by both, but just reading cow threads you can see how much they like and defend both.
No. 2486318
File: 1744598251673.jpg (27.37 KB, 496x618, 1000028864.jpg)
I work at a restaurant and today some random moid called and cursed at me when I said we didn't have the food he wanted. I swear, I genuinely hate males so fucking much. Fucking monkeys who can't handle problems without chimping out. I never had this type of problem with women, but rude male customers are so common. I wish they all would join the suicide rate already.
No. 2486348
File: 1744600439067.jpg (12.33 KB, 480x360, hqdefault.jpg)
my period is a month late and ive been depressed as shit for an entire fucking month all i can bring myself to do past 4pm every day is feel suicidal and binge eat while watching vinesauce vods
No. 2486375
File: 1744603317555.jpeg (24.78 KB, 236x202, IMG_2632.jpeg)
I wish I could be like my old friend. She’s so unapologetically herself and is not feminine and not “woman-like” at all but she’s not a troon, she hates troons. I don’t ever think she struggles like I do. I struggle with gender so much but I can’t let the troon demons win. I’m so far removed from what a woman should be, I only relate to male characters and my personality is not feminine and I don’t want to wear feminine clothes and I just want to be me. I am tired of being tied to the curse that is being a woman because I’m not good at it. Other women have rejected me as their own and I cannot fit or deliver what they ask of me as a woman. I can’t answer their silly wish.
No. 2486435
File: 1744610055932.jpeg (34.42 KB, 828x818, IMG_2044.jpeg)
I can’t seem to find a pair of cream colored panties I had and I also seems to have lost a pair or two of simple black panties. It’s really weird, I think the black ones have been misplaced in my mom’s house since I go back there at the weekends, but I always make sure to wear comfortable pairs when I go, so I’m sure I didn’t bring the cream ones.
I have a male roommate and although he seems normal (I hate the retard though, he doesn’t respect cleaning chores unless you tell him , doesn’t give you money for the bills unless you reminded him every time, says he pays stuff but then doesn’t and makes retarded excuses, he also loses a ton of hair and never removes it from the toilet and he’s ugly) there’s no way I can tell, he’s a scrote so I can’t give him the benefit of the doubt.
No. 2486451
>>2486436put some more stuff that seems ok to put in an underwear drawer because he might replicate the position of just one photo too well like maybe more photos and jewellery, maybe you could steam iron and arrange your clothes extremely well and in a system you understand so the moid couldn't replicate it if he tried,
my mother keeps her clothes so organized she can tell when i've been searching for a top to steal kek. this is really terrible tho nonna, total moid death now.
No. 2486465
File: 1744612757818.jpeg (668.69 KB, 1125x844, DD022B16-71C4-42D4-99F0-4B96E7…)
>>2486436You gotta do the ol’ Light Yagami and put a piece of paper in your door when it’s closed, plus the pencil lead in picrel
nonny. I hope your suspicions are wrong but trust no moid, better safe than sorry.
No. 2486496
I have fat relatives that are only drinking zero sugar sodas and then they turn around to eat tons of food and mostly it's not containing any vegetable. Their kid is also getting fat at such a young age. It gets a soda for breakfast and already has a belly hang out under the shirt. We went to an outdoor activity and all the other kids were playing but the family kid was too lazy to do shit so I'm sure it's not used to. exercise at all. It breaks my heart for the child tbh.
>>2486465I never understood where the lead pencil is? Like outside of his room? Because he couldn't have placed it inside and then close his door. I never understood this in the anime kek
No. 2486543
File: 1744626514190.gif (489.6 KB, 160x160, 1744264599787405.gif)
One of the longtime members of a writing and gaming community that I am a part of is finally trooning his gay bottom character out and it feels so fucking weird and disappointing to see. I appreciated his homo sparkle cat even if I didn't hardly engage with him, and now I do not want anything to do with in any capacity. I had more respect for him being a gay bottom than I did for him now trying to troon out his OC.
I seriously don't understand the logic behind making your character trans instead of just roleplaying as another separate opposite sex character, leaving your same sex OC intact. My only guess is that some people seriously just play only 1 character and LARP as them constantly, and will dramatically change them at will instead of reasonably playing another character. I have multiple characters and I enjoy the fun in swapping between them at my whims and enjoying playing out their lives. The idea of just committing to a single character and making them into some polysexual troonshit, which happens so fucking much in these dogshit communities like this, seems cringe as hell and mentally unhealthy. Those are the people I avoid the hell out of.
No. 2486634
File: 1744636360252.jpg (55.34 KB, 736x519, 6d5278dadaec31ebd8b663e6a99aad…)
>Feel sleepy around 10/11pm last night
>Decide to be sensible and go to bed, turn the lamp off, relax and put my blue light filter thing on to help me sleep
>Close my eyes and put youtube video and fan on in the background as some noise helps me sleep
>About to finally fall asleep
>Sudden burst of energy at 12am and unable to sleep until 4am
Is this a fucking joke?
No. 2486725
>>2486604Meh, nta but I just add that to the list of worse things I worry about kek. Everything is suffering sometimes because why not.
>>2486496Letting a child get obese should be legally classified as child abuse.
No. 2486766
File: 1744643785794.png (711.61 KB, 932x698, 5278967892.png)
>>2486551There is no way you'll be ''bloated'' after eating a meal for a mouse like that unless you're lactose intolerant or something. An empty stomach versus one with a measly little itty bit of food in it will look different yes, but that's normal so stop this embarrassing behaviour and just eat nona. Starving your body of food is not worth all the health issues it possibly can give you in the future. You may be young and not care or notice any of that immediately right now but seriously your health is important. Stop wasting time and overanalyzing yourself in the mirror and just live your life, start a new hobby or something, anything. I promise you nobody gives a fuck if you are bloated or not (unless you have an almond parent or friend, but their opinions are invalid because they most likely have their own body or food related issues and are projecting).
No. 2486793
File: 1744644831434.jpg (91.24 KB, 1140x855, il_1140xN.5195993940_lolp.jpg)
>>2486757I've started buying dresses/skirts from malaysia on etsy tbh but their pants would fit well too. I'm not malayasian but maybe the women there have longer legs than surrounding countries bc everything fits the way western clothing used to when it was still high quality and not sized for ego stroking (or w/e the fuck is happening). Update picrel, they have really good shirts too kek
No. 2486796
File: 1744644981240.gif (41.04 KB, 130x130, Wiw.gif)
i've never understood people who hang out 24/7 on discord or actually go their way to make internet friends, like lots of internet friends. it reeks of attention seeking behavior. like i'm autistic and mentally ill too but i've always preferred interactions IRL and i don't trust people who spend way too much time on internet despite me being like that. i like to see people's faces and reactions and doing my best to interpret them, you can't do that on pedocord and VC isn't an accurate way to interpret their intentions
No. 2486801
>>2486796I figured it was what others do in an attempt to overcome the loneliness they feel. You have complete control over your self image and the way people perceive you! If anything, this power makes the social environment more manageable
in their heads, where in contrast reality you have to deal with the cards you are dealt. In this instance, attention seeking isn't inherently bad if they're just being friendly to a lot of people. Attention-seeking behavior is really only ever bad when people are destructive with their methods. Being social at all is technically attention-seeking behvaior if you think about it.
No. 2487006
>>2486862>I lost my best friends of 8 years because of my own behavior where I was consistently shitty to them over the course of 4 years It’s telling that you are trying to sidetrack the whole thing and not taking blame. It’s classic abuser tactic, it’s everyone’s fault if they did it and even if it’s their fault then they didn’t mean it kek.
Suicide baiting is pathetic and your friend finally got the courage to leave, I hope she thrives far from you !
No. 2487026
FML I just took a shower and got comfy in one of my favorite lounge shorts and then started my period out of nowhere and stained it. I think i washed it out but goddamn.
>>2486735Idk why but I also get ED behavior when Im employed, I fucked up my heart and gave myself panic disorder after living on drinking an energy drink and one microwave meal almost everday for about 10 months straight. I think work is poison tbh
No. 2487043
>>2486976Initial caregiver. Initial source of trauma or something. More sensitive.
>>2487026Nta same. It's anxiety, I get stuck being scared of whatever work problem I have, forgetting to eat etc. It wouldn't count as an ED because no body dysmorphia and no conscious actions but it can fuck up my stomach for a bit
No. 2487055
File: 1744659579255.jpeg (68.42 KB, 1280x720, IMG_7544.jpeg)
I took benadryl last night because I had an exam this morning and I couldn't sleep. I forgot how terrible it makes me feel. I feel so depressed for no reason, I've just been lying in bed all day feeling dread. Never again.
No. 2487088
I feel like another guy love-bombed and used my empathy again although I put so much work into noticing everything and reacting to my gut feelings. I feel like because he was so all over the place and in a constant crisis, and contacting me even though I blocked him at first, he kept manipulating me and I regret opening up and making myself vulnerable to try and bond as a friend. I put a lot of work into not needing to bleed my trauma all over the place and to anyone, and talking with this guy was just like trauma bonding all over again… Now I felt sort of bad first time I blocked him, and now I feel embarrassed that I exposed myself talking about my experiences in the least, and putting out any emotional labour, and then even about engaging with him being obviously manipulative, "flirty", and overbearing… I just hate the idea of someone going away with this info I gave them about me… And sure I felt bad because I too get lonely so it was nice to think of maybe having a friend, but then I said I am not interested in anything else than friendship for xyz reasons and of course he started ghosting, so I ended up blocking him again. And now I feel sick about making myself vulnerable again.
No. 2487125
>>2487009I didn’t abuse anyone. What a weird fucking thing to say to someone in the vent thread
>>2487065Where did I even imply I abused someone? We got into pretty nasty (obviously verbal) fights sometimes but that’s nowhere near the same thing as abuse. Someone’s venting to you about the loss of friends they’ve had for a life time and how they’re struggling with suicidal ideation, and the nonnas in this thread immediately jump to me being a terrible awful abuser. Like I said, I don’t understand the thought process on shitting on someone in the vent thread of all fucking places
No. 2487139
File: 1744663965579.png (265.82 KB, 640x503, tumblr_f1e38bcf52a3b88b693975e…)
I can't for the life of me seem to take my new vitamins without them getting stuck in my throat or otherwise not going down easy. It's literally 1 pill and not even "horse pill" big, and not that I'm bad at taking pills either. I swear it's leaving scratches or something because since I started taking them there's been this lump sort of feeling and it hurts to breathe. There's still nearly 200 tablets left in the bottle though… fml
No. 2487144
File: 1744664387994.jpeg (55.8 KB, 598x575, 1738396264792.jpeg)
period started today and the pain is unbearable and im scared its going to progress to the point where im lying on the bathroom floor puking and crying so im just trying anything to distract myself. im really scared
No. 2487171
>>2487125> We got into pretty nasty (obviously verbal) fights sometimes but that’s nowhere near the same thing as abuse.Mind you, this were your words before
> I was consistently shitty to them over the course of 4 yearsKek
No. 2487198
File: 1744668160534.jpg (66.79 KB, 600x600, 1644388510376.jpg)
I have no motivation to study. I am so tired. So depressed. I am going to flunk all my exams.
No. 2487205
File: 1744668540175.jpg (45.02 KB, 627x635, 1740980047690820.jpg)
internet/media/onlinespace fatigue fucking sucks, I feel like a husk going day to day checking the same things. somethings need to change in my life
No. 2487206
>>2487205its nice when you dont get to do it a lot
when im super busy i love browsing
when its all i have to do all day its fucking boring
especially lolcow with how slow it is, constantly refreshing the same threads
No. 2487208
>>2487201I will do that
nonny, thanks.
No. 2487216
>>2487006Are you a retard? I literally took the blame myself. You sound like an unintegrated Tumblrfag and I can tell from the passive aggressive wording. You're actually evil, instead of focusing on actual abuse you call stuff not uncommon in friendships abuse. Let me guess, you think microcheating is a real thing? I never expected the vent thread of all places to be full of vitriolic assholes who assume sides of the story and say that they're glad my friend left me. This is what happens when you're raised as an oversensitive faggot, everything is abuse, manipulation, suibaiting without having basic empathy for others.
>>2487183I literally said I was shitty to them, just saying
abusive is a stretch. Once again, why are you so insistent on arguing on the vent thread like this? Divert this energy somewhere else and stop being such a dick
No. 2487224
>>2487216>you think microcheating is a real thing?Weird hill to die on nonna. Are you saying you are a cheater too?
>tumblrfagYou are calling someone evil for a non issue kek, you are the tumblrfag.
No. 2487231
>>2487219At least you got out nonna, be glad about that, as much as it’s hard try not to think about it too much or let it frame your whole life.
Out of curiosity much did you even earn? Was flipping burgers or working cashier not the same?
There are so many people selling feet pics or footjobs, I doubt you can make more than a normal job unless you are adding stuff. The average OF doesn’t even earn that much to solely live off of that. In the porn abuse industry the more extreme stuff and the more you let scrotes rape you the more you earn, it’s bleak and disgusting that it’s being sold as “empowering” or totally safe.
No. 2487243
File: 1744670299537.jpg (73.48 KB, 1079x1321, 1646958633920.jpg)
I'm gonna be spending 40 dollah on video games again this month. Back on that grind. I'm addicted.
No. 2487325
>>2487254Thank you for asking, nonna! My purchases:
>bought a gem pack for my gacha game because an event I've been waiting months for is happening>resubbing later this month to ffxiv to catch up on the expansion packs I've been sitting on kek>bought a DS game I lost when I was a teenager (dragon quest starry skies)I'm so happy I found DQ for a good price, I've already decided my team build and I'm gonna take 'em all the way to endgame this time! ♥
>>2487267This looks sooooo cute,
nonny. When it comes to console I'm gonna be buying it first thing.
No. 2487327
>>2487324well at least you made some money out of it, i do it for free which is more pathetic. Hope you invested that money
nonny.
No. 2487333
>>2487330Thanks
nonny. Thankfully i never let those moids fully take advantage of me. I never send photos or money and i make them provide their own toys. I really wish i had cute bf irl so i wouldnt need to contact gross scrotes to get the horny out, sigh.
No. 2487343
File: 1744675209368.jpg (178.83 KB, 600x900, TK-2011-06-04-011-001-Harajuku…)
I just want one lolita friend who doesn't lick troon asshole but also isn't a racist Trump supporter. It feels like you only get one or the other in this community. So sick of feeling like I have to walk on eggshells and having the gender cult brought up unprompted.
No. 2487514
File: 1744684827599.jpg (210.26 KB, 1000x1481, 1000000297.jpg)
I woke up and got really angry at the shitty porny anime my boyfriend was watching on the TV. Like I felt irrationally annoyed like I was going to start crying. I'm also having period cramps though so maybe that's why. I told him not to watch his jerk off anime on the TV but I feel like there's something deeper that's frustrated me. Like I just wanted to break the TV the second I heard the autistic anime moans. Made me want to bite someone.
No. 2487533
File: 1744686051059.gif (3.36 MB, 640x480, that oughta do it.gif)
i am now worried i am a munchie psychopath autistic useless freak. like what if all of that is true and to top it off im not even good at autistic shit like video games. i am trapped between being a normie and being a reclusive hermetic internet-raised freak of nature but not autistic or jobless enough to be on discord. not normal enough to trust irl people and make friendships. it is lonely out here nonas
No. 2487611
File: 1744691609131.gif (115.19 KB, 220x158, IMG_9558.gif)
Being gender critical in secret is so fucking exhausting. I only had one person I could discuss it with and we're no longer talking anymore. I feel like I've been taking a big brunt of retardation alone and it's been very suffocating.
No. 2487654
File: 1744695344454.jpeg (33.39 KB, 462x460, FD01501F-102A-4791-B4CA-5C9E65…)
I think my period is starting soon because I am a wreck. I cannot focus for the life of me on incredibly important work despite being on a deadline. I cried because I listened to the OHSHC ending song and realized it’s almost 20 years old. I got sad because I love my cat too much and he will never know how much he means to me. When will this fucking end already.
No. 2487718
my dad is not doing well. he's had two strokes (that we know of, it could have been more) in under 4 years. he's become very weak and lazy. i'm 28 and still live at home due to some unfortunate mental and physical illnesses, but i'm torn between wanting to gtfo and stay so my mom doesn't have to deal with this alone. it hurts to see him this way. he says he wants to get a job but he's hardly able to make appointments (mostly out of fear and laziness, but still) or use a computer. he has some incontinence issues from the last stroke. today, he fell off the bed and hit his head and knees. there's no swelling or bleeding or bruising at all.. and he was talking okay when he was awake… but he's sick atm so he's been sleeping a lot. fast forward to now, my mom is asleep. he asks me for his help for a minute. the minute turns into an hour+ of him falling asleep mid-sentence, physically helping him put on his pants and eat some bites of soup, take his medicine, etc. i swear he spent 30 minutes not even half-awake trying to put his pants on himself. he had his eyes closed most of the time. he would dose off and start talking nonsense because he was dreaming in this middle of it. i was getting very frustrated and a little aggressive trying to get him to do ANYTHING. he's finally laying down and has pants on. he smells bad, he hasn't showered in a week he says, plus the bladder issues. i want to cry but i can't. so much is going on in my life right now, it's really stressful, but i'm finally getting my shit together and see a future for myself, i'm so fucking scared of losing my dad. it would destroy me.
No. 2487732
File: 1744705051772.jpeg (82.65 KB, 750x1000, IMG_0269.jpeg)
>Be me
>Bloated stomach for months, twinges of pain in right side, change in bowel habits
>maybe I drink alcohol too often?
>sober for 2 weeks
>still bloated, still painful, still look pregnant
>oh fuck, do I have ovarian cancer?Fuckfuckfuck
>try not to spiral
>look up gynecologic oncologists in my area out of curiosity
>5 results
>All Indian men
>mfw
No. 2487741
File: 1744706072203.jpg (312.02 KB, 1920x1080, 1.jpg)
>dad's bday comes around
>few days ago he said something mean while i was already at a low point
>been extra suicidal recently and always thinking about how he once told me i should do it when he was angry at me
>he treats everyone like that but it still hurts
>avoid him all day just to avoid saying happy birthday
>see him the next day
>still don't say it
>leave without even acknowledging him
>guilt still eating me alive
No. 2487772
File: 1744711434169.png (153.21 KB, 317x357, unknown-3.png)
I don't feel very good today.
Today I feel too weak withstand the pressure and it's all falling on my head. I'm losing control of things and it's sending me in some unpleasant places.
It sounds very dramatc and logically, these are very non-issues. But I want to at least get it out of me.
I am extremely ashamed of myself for not showing up to my profesor for revisions on my illustrations because I was equally ashamed for not having content to show for a couple of weeks and no money for test prints. I am scared and deeply ashamed to start meeting him face to face again, even though I know I have to.
I am tired and deeply upset at my bf for being childish. The argument can't be fixed in a calm tone and level-headedness, I have to yell and reach my limit to be understood and taken seriously.
His pettiness and gluttony make me soo livid at times.
I came to a friend for advice. I won't detail everything but in short, I was encouraged to stuck it out and try guiding him. I'm all for that but, the last semester of my bachelors is a very bad time to do so. Plus, I don't want to look at my partner like he's a dog I'm training.
I've become exasperated by my trichotillomania. I want to keep my hair and I struggle soo much to do so. I don't know what to do anymore to just make it stop. I don't want to shave my head again.
I'm disgusted by my own body. I want to be skinny, I want it soo bad. I want to go to the gym, but I put on muscle easily and I don't want to make my shoulders bigger than they are or my legs gigantic. I miss having muscular strength, but I never looked good.
I feel like a tranny sometimes. The way I described myself sounds like I'm a man playing dress up. I'm never feminin enough, even in a dress. It's soo sick. I've ever only been associated with a brute-ish woman when I wan a kid.
I'm trying to fix my face and take care of it with whatever money I have.
I feel the unhealthy need to suffer. But I'm not gonna do that cause I know its unhealthy. It's just another cycle. I've dealt with it before.
I hope when I have more money to talk to my therapist about the body image issues.
Sorry its long.
No. 2487789
Considering doing a 180° flip on my personality. I've sacrificed my own happiness for my family's for my entire adult life. And in the end, I got screwed over hard. Min-max'd art and had plans to move to an artcentric city, I was dragged to the other side of the country just because family bullshit. Once a promising college student with a future, a car, and a functioning and able body, I'm now without any of it, damaged by ECT and a drooling retard with PTSD. I could have been selfish and threw them under the bus when I had the chance, but I had to be drowned by empathy towards the uncaring.
Now I'm a doormat ten years later, having flashbacks and weird emotional triggers that throw me into fits of neurotic meltdowns, can't walk for long distances, can't function in public.
If I was just a selfish whore from the beginning I would have made it. I would have adapted. I wouldn't have had to be on the receiving end of betrayl.
And now that I realize this, I will proceed to ruin their lives as much as I can. I hate them for doing this to me. Not a single thank you.
Fuck that.
If I'm going to be miserable, everyone around me's going to be miserable.
No. 2487845
File: 1744721782559.jpg (24.4 KB, 720x658, 5105778e56330834799b057e8c3b25…)
Where the fuck are my hello kitty pyjama pants at? I ordered 2 pairs so I could be comfy while working at home and they're still not here. And on top of that the current client's tax return I'm working on has 100+ pages of bank statements to work through. Fuck this day.
No. 2487889
File: 1744726696820.png (2.24 MB, 800x1427, Kirby_Wallpaper.png)
I'm in my last semester of college and I feel so burned out. It's almost 10:30 and I'm still in my pajamas and just laying in bed with my roommate's cat. This week is also my one vacation from my job but I have zero desire to work on any final school projects. I'm so embarrassed whenever I go into class and I have nothing to share and our presentation event is just a month away.
No. 2487904
File: 1744728366648.jpg (12.86 KB, 161x171, IMG-20230217-WA0037.jpg)
>>2487847Girl how many ingrown hairs do you have on your toes that's worth 5 hours? No shame but that's wild. Also, study. Get that knowledge.
No. 2487917
File: 1744729612479.jpg (205.83 KB, 896x896, eagle.jpg)
I meet a cute polish guy on /soc/, i am about to commit some serious mistakes arent i? met a guy through /soc/ is probably the first one.