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No. 2430952
ITT:A thread for open/closeted ex-Muslims and or Muslims who are questioning their faith
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>>>/ot/774138 No. 2432565
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>>2431490We ask ourselves this question everytime. Just like being born with FAS, none of of us chose this.
No. 2432618
>>2432590it's childhood indoctrination and fear of being isolated from everything you know, plus patriarchy instilling the idea any mistake a woman makes (or really us existing) is a grave sin but men are easily forgiven and need to be catered to.
>>2432606huh i never felt embarrassed as a kid for crushes for religious reasons, only felt bad since i was a loser. islam didn't seem to have much about sexual guilt, but pressuring about sex within marriage and no premarital sex.
No. 2433290
>>2432543Same
nonnie, I hate all of the cooking bullshit that women are forced to do because men are lazy as shit. Watching my aunts slave over the stove cooking meals for their fat lazy moids radicalized me. And these same women are also fasting and working full time jobs. Of course the fat moids won't even clean up their shit afterwards. And the women cope by saying, they will be rewarded for this servitude. A lady I know has a lot of moids come over to her house for iftaar and makes her daughters cook and clean. I hate how moids in my culture don't learn to cook for shit.
No. 2435463
>>2435414I can't recommend this path but I understand where you're coming from. You could lie to your parents, use filters and shoop to make your husband-to-be look more acceptable to them, ask him to lie about being Muslim, or pretend that he's Muslim but Iranian or something and that's why he's white. Will any of these things work in your situation?
And not to be a bitch or anything but it might be better to wait until Ramadan is over to make massive life choices like this, the constant starvation and praying isn't going to help you make an informed decision.
Good luck getting out of wherever you are. I hope things improve for you soon.
No. 2435947
>>2435414What's your country's law regarding it? I'm sure different countries have different laws even if all are muslim countries. Just look it up. Maybe yours doesn't need parental approval to get married.
Can't you find another way to escape tho? Studying abroad is a good to leave and when you're in a non-muslim country there's a better chance of finding a non-retarded western moid and you can marry him more easily there. You won't need parental approval there. I mean if you still want to marry.
No. 2436194
>>2435414Go to an university abroad, to a western secular country.
Avoid Sweden.
No. 2437029
>>2435414western muzzie moids desperate for brides may exist, but you coming from abroad they may see you as lesser or easy to abuse. like another nonna said going to school abroad and then using one of them maybe as your ticket to citizenship and out.
marriage as escape doesn't seem like a good idea though.
No. 2437063
>>2435953She sounds like narcissist who is jealous of you while also seeing you as an extension of herself to control.
>And if I have a thought that is different to hers on this, or talk about living apart from her to remind her that I will not always be around to be her punching bag, her knee jerk reaction is oh you're a crazy feminazi and there must be a male involved.Stop telling your mom your beliefs and plans. You need to focus on long term strategy and making her paranoid you're a "whore" and will leave will only make her try to control you more. Try to limit engagement. Dr. Ramani's channel on youtube is about dealing with narcissists.
>I just want to scream at her that she's a stupid brainwashed pickme. But I know that is unfair when she didn't ask to be born into a muslim family in a third world country.It's not unfair at all. She may be indoctrinated but there is a possibility to realize that your beliefs are hurting your children. Yelling at her is obviously a bad idea and only will set her off to try to control you more.
No. 2440113
>>2435953OK so you need to learn to be quiet and keep secrets. When you've mastered that, learn to use your mother's batshittery for your own benefit. Since she does everything possible to crush you, tell her the opposite of what you want, eg tell her you want to live at home forever and she'll probably encourage you to move out. It's tiring, but you can make it easier for yourself by not telling other people all your hopes and dreams and then being surprised pikachu when they ruin all your plans.
>>2435488This is true and if you keep up the act for a few years you can get a divorce and fuck off to live your own life. Men like that will think you're too indoctrinated to contemplate that. You could even fake your own suicide after the divorce if you're worried he's going to tell your parents (or you could just pretend you're an orphan with no family just in case, moids are retarded and you can shoop yourself into another person so your real family won't recognize you from your photos).
There are many cons to this, though, he's definitely going to get violent and controlling and probably won't let you get a job or an education. You can get around this with the internet but it's not easy. Pretending you can't speak English and can barely understand English helps, as does wearing a hijab- or burqa if you chose not to go the Kim K route- so he can 'humiliate' you by forcing you to go outside uncovered as punishment.
Tldr any moid who orders a mail order Muslim thirdie bride is buying a fetish punching bag so he can batter all her hopes and dreams into the ground. Escaping your shithole through marriage is not going to be easy but if it's literally the only path available to you it's better for you to sell yourself as a submissive ultra religious saint so he can attack your religion before he resorts to attacking you.
Going abroad to study (avoid Sweden and the UK) like
>>2435947 said is the best option, but I understand that your parents or country might not allow that.
No. 2444754
>>2444270You might be overthinking this. Why do they need to know that you've cut them off? Tell your family what they want to hear. You've made so many pious Muslim friends at uni, your degree will get you a job that pays enough to support your husband and family, your sister and cousins would be super safe studying abroad, etc. You don't need to sperg your heart out, you know? Lie until your sister and cousins are safe. You don't need to make it elaborate or anything. Stick to a few points that are easy to remember and make sure they're all things that your family wants to hear. If you have to complain about something, complain about the food.
Keep in touch, but not daily. Tell them that you need to study. That's what you're there for, they should be able to understand that you're busy. There's no need to sever contact completely, and if you do cut them off suddenly with no warning, they might send someone after you to drag you back home. Maybe do a video call every so often for a few minutes in a spot with dodgy wifi. They'll see that the connection is shit, so it's plausible that you won't be able to chat very often. Turn off your read receipts. Send pics of your high exam scores sometimes so they know you're studying and doing well. If you give your family a reason for your absence now, they'll be more likely to believe you when you finish your degree and come up with another reason to continue to cut contact with them.
Seriously though, learn to lie, and learn how to not overshare. You'll get through this.
No. 2447430
>>2444270>Nonnas I can't do the final step, I'm at a point where I can safely cut them off - I'm at a uni in europe, I have a long time visa (til the end of my degree) and I have a job that pays me enough to get through my bills. I don't believe you're fully there, I would say you need a permanent visa/citizenship situation before you're fully in the clear. You've done good for yourself but you want as near 100% security before being open like that.
>In the end I can't seem to be able to disown them, I can't leave my sister like this and my younger cousins knowing that if word got out all the other women in my family would suffer.It sounds like you're doubting your judgment that being too openly exmuslim would be dangerous to your younger family, but you are right they would make you an example of what not to be, and try to control your other family members. Remind yourself you are complying for their sakes so they can also have the potential options of getting out.
>Anons how do I do it..?>>2444754 gave good advice, I'd say learning to say less and disconnect from them through keeping conversations more shallow and short may be good. Try to go low contact, if full no contact may be too nuclear.
No. 2447496
>>2447408Why would it be weird for muslims when she's considered a great figure in the religion, the rest of us can recognise it as strange but it's really the same as naming your child mary who was also a child. These people aren't thinking clearly.
>>2444754>>2447430Thanks both of you, Yeah I think I'll live it a few years more til I've got my feet a bit more grounded. I'm mostly friends with other non-muslim women so it's not as if I'm closeted all the time and feeling like I used to, just the usual paranoia. My grandparents are conservative and my parents had to fight with them to let me and my sister study the courses we wanted so I know it will be a gotcha but it's only 3 years and a lot can happen then.
No. 2447506
>>2447408Thank you for the explanation, nona. That's fucking foul.
>>2447496This has been discussed in other threads, but christians generally know Mary to have been an adult. Her age is never definitively stated, she is married (and therefore assumed to be an adult), and in all art depicting her, she is a grown, older woman.
It's also common to refer to her as "mother" Mary, and while this is because she's Jesus's mother, she also takes on a maternal role for those who include her in their religious experience.
Nowhere near the same as a 6-9 year old little girl being forcibly married and raped.
No. 2447858
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Is it weird I daydream about a normal life? Dating, pre-martial sex, white wedding with music and alcohol, having kids with a normal non-muslim guy, never forcing my future daughter to wear the hijab, letting them have hobbies (music, painting),etc? I hate being a closeted hijabi, I hate how other people pretend to know what I'm going to say and assume my opinion on things and I can't explain to them why. Unless I win the lottery, my situation isn't going to change anytime soon. Thanks to this shit economy, I might never make enough to leave and I'll be too old to enjoy anything.
No. 2448042
>>2447335Well, the name gives me CSA vibes because it was the name of a person raped as a child. You wouldnt name your child Lolita, would you? Sorry to other anons named Ayesha out there.
Its funny you should mention Mary. Ive always associated Mary/Maryam with matriarchs or female CEOS/politicians.