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The old one reached limit and now is auto-saging.>>>/ot/187938
Vent your worries and stress away, dear farmers.
I have really bad depression, not for one particular reason but lots of tiny things that become exaggerated into a big fog that just hangs over everything I do. I had counseling for a bit but I felt like I couldn't tell the counselor anything because of course even tho there is confidentiality I get paranoid that telling her lots the things that play a major role in my feelings (some of which involve drugs, alcohol etc) will end up being pursued further, so I stopped going bc it was kind of pointless. The only person I have to talk to right now is also my only friend (Seriously, I have no other people I have actual conversation with on a regular basis) and she's been really sweet listening to me and being 100% honest when giving me advice. I'm really glad to have her but also really scared that I'm going to lose her as friend bc the few times we've hung out it just ended in me crying. I feel like a massive idoit and like I'm just burdening her, especially after reading some of the replies in >>195281
thread. No one wants to hang out with someone who just cries and ruins everything all the time but she's all I have it's so pathetic. ofc I listen to her when she has stuff to talk about too. She keeps telling me its ok and that she wants to help but I really feel like it won't be.
copy pasted from the last thread bc I really need someone's perspective or im gonna go insane
You say lots of tiny things are causing your depression so if you're not going to find another counsellor soon maybe you could try to think about these things that contribute to your depression. What things are weighing you down and are they something that you can change or not? Try to focus on e.g. One thing you can change or affect like trying to do a certain activity x times a week and work your way through it. I can't come up with situated examples due to the lack of context.
A way to hopefully relieve some of your depressive symptoms by yourself could be by using CBT methods like in link related http://www.everydayhealth.com/hs/major-depression-living-well/cognitive-behavioral-therapy-techniques/
I'm sure your friend wants to be there for you anon, so I don't think you should worry more about over-sharing your problems perhaps use this worry with the CBT methods.
I do think you should consider finding another counsellor or therapist to talk to, though and try to find the courage to at some point acknowledge/explore the source of your feelings. alternatively, if you really don't want to dive deeply into your feelings surrounding your depression etc. You can try to combat your depression solely through cognitive therapy/methods that put less emphasis on emotions.
Anon, have you tried writing in a diary? I know it may sound stupid but hear me out. Try writing things down, afterwards, rip the paper out or if you're using loose leaf leave it in tact. Now, fold the paper into a smaller size, as small as you can and carry it around you for the entire day. Before you go to sleep, take out the paper, re read what you wrote and burn it. This allows you to freely say what you want and allow yourself to physically see it become smaller and smaller. Keeping it close to you, your mind will begin to minimize the problem you've written down about and that once you burn the paper, it kind of gives the illusion that your problems or issues disappear. It's a weird thing but I did this once my life spirales out of control when my great uncle died and All the things I've kept hidden just started to pour out,making my emotions just become out of control, i couldn't even tell anybody until I did that. It showed me that I had control and with that mindset,I wasn't too ashamed or embarrassed to tell people what's wrong.
Sorry for droning on and on, Anon but I believe you need to find a way where you firmly have a grip on what's wrong and you won't feel it will go out of control.
And remember this, you're not making your friend help you. She's doing this out of her own free will because she cares about you and wants to help. If she did feel like you were doing that, I'm sure she wouldn't tell you her problems at all because she'll think that you'll only turn her problems all about you.
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I know it's a really minor first-world problem compared to other things in these threads, but I'm a veggie (who never drank milk/liked cheese and only had dairy in things like chocolate) who's trying to go vegan but I'm already kind of fearing the future of my veganism. I'm on day 17 of 21 - 21 days to form a habit and all that - and I already just feel cleaner, healthier, and overall better despite my mental health issues, so I feel like I'll probably continue with it after my 21-day trial. But in a year I'll be taking a round-the-world trip to places with cultures where no meat with meals is unheard of. It would be difficult as a veggie but vegan would be a lot harder, and when I was just veggie I brushed it off like 'oh, I'll just go off it for a while, no biggie'. But since then my beliefs in animal cruelty and rights have become a lot firmer and I don't see myself ever not being vegetarian at the very least, so the idea of travelling and restricting what I can experience in these new cultures as a vegan doesn't sound thrilling.
I know I probably sound really whiny and I know that all cultural experiences don't revolve around food, but I'd hate to return from this one-in-a-lifetime trip and regret never tasting homemade national dishes from hosts or trying street food in Asia or something. The summer camp I'm helping out in in Russia has even said 'being vegetarian here is unknown; be prepared to eat a lot of potatoes and cucumber', and if my whole 6-month trip ends up that way I see myself going home early, to be honest. So I'm kinda stuck between having these experiences and sticking to my morals.
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I feel so bad for my nephew. He'll start crying when his parents start yelling at each other and one of them is just all, "settle down, you're fine." Like…it doesn't matter that he wasn't getting yelled at, seeing that kind of behavior when you're so young can just terrify you, especially when it's coming from your parents. Even if I step in and say something I always get some, "I DIDN'T START THIS!" bullshit.
My nephew spends so much time watching youtube videos and many of them are about families playing games together and it breaks my heart to know his parents barely do that kind of thing with him. It's summertime and he just spends his days staying inside and not playing with friends.
I'm admittedly a shitty aunt because I'm a hermit and not terribly fond of children, but I feel like I need to step up and be his friend or something or else he's going to grow up into a lonely, anxious mess
So first off, let me just say congratulations on sticking with it for this long and making plans to stick with it in the future because planning is half the battle.
Not really sure exactly what you have planned but I'd stick to the big cities and avoid anywhere that doesn't have food that can be adapted to be vegan. There are plenty of cities worldwide known to be vegan friendly (London, Berlin, Helsinki, Tel Aviv, Singapore, Taipei, Chiang Mai…) and plan to include them on your trip. No use going to somewhere you know will be hard when you can make on easier on yourself.
If you're staying in places that have cooking facilities, use them! You're still going to get all the benefits of all the fresh, local fruit and veg. I'm sure a quick google search will give you all the vegan products available in whatever country you're in and there are barcode scanner apps if you're unsure.
Recently I made a map on Google Maps for somewhere I'm going to over the summer. You can put a star next to businesses and they'll show up on the map next time you open it (or if you're on a laptop/desktop you can categorise them by colour and little symbols like a pizza for an Italian restaurant or a bowl of rice for a Chinese restaurant) I've completely planned out every place I'm going to eat in, there will be no guessing or having to awkwardly ask for vegan options. Plus if you're hungry, you can just pull up the map and go to the nearest place for food. You can find out if a place has vegan options by liking some vegan groups in the area on fb, checking websites like Trip Advisor, pulling up the online menus for individual restaurants and just typing "vegan restaurants near _____" into Google Maps itself. There are plenty of Eastern religions that practise vegetarianism/veganism so veggie places near temples/churches should be common.
One thing I love about veganism is that the community is so friendly and helpful so if you join a few online groups and ask for traditional cuisine in the area they'll be more than happy to help you out. Hope you enjoy your trip, anon!
Have you tried saving up to move out? Or to pay your way through a trade school or anything? I'm not sure where you live, but there's odd jobs near me that pay quite a lot for no degree (babysitting, dog walking, etc). Even a fast food joint bumps you up to $15/hr if you stay 6months+
If you and your bf want out of your shit town and living arrangements,you guys should start looking for jobs and places to stay elsewhere. Honestly fuck the people youre living with if they're holding you back. Look online for job postings and start living the life you want.
I've done my best, I recently bought a new car which drained me. Desperately needed it though.
So I'm back at square one.
I'm living in Florida in a small town, anything decent is about an hour out from me. Here there's tons of fast food places all starting st minimum wage.
The place I'm at is the best paying one though.
His struggle is being a manager at his store and unable to just up and leave. Though I have mentioned it several times. He feels obligated to make sure they'll have an AM and enough people hired. But realistically the people who apply are all horrible and we barely get new people in.
if I do odd jobs on the side do they truely pay good? I'm hesitant because of the people here.
But if it's worth the risk I'm desperate enough to take it.
It might be harder if your town is really that small, but doing odd jobs helped me out. I live in a smallish town in the midwest, but I took up babysitting on the side and it's helped a lot. I don't like kids, but people were willing to pay $20 an hour because they desperately needed someone to watch their kids since school is out and because they can't stand their own damn offspring.
I'm not sure what part of FL you live in, but I've seen postings for odd things there too that paid decently, usually only GED as a req. Things like tour guides for hotels or parks, watching over RV parks during the night,nannies, dog sitters/walkers, etc. I can't say it's enough to live off of because hours can vary, but it's pretty decent to do on the side when you need to save up extra money. Try browsing through postings near where you live on something like monster.com or indeed.com
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I'm in a small town in Germany right now, and it should be easier than when I was in Berlin, but I'm even more afraid to go outside lol. I haven't eaten anything all day bc I freak out when I consider leaving my apartment. I'm doing an internship here, and today was my first day, but all of my interactions were so awkward that I immediately went home after I was done, and I've just been here since then. I'm so afraid of ordering food bc I don't want to fuck up my German, which I know is a dumb thought. But I'm still dreading the rest of the summer tbh
don't worry! you'll maybe find some friends and get used to everything soon.
I felt the same when I moved to a big city
and don't worry about ordering some food. you can usually do it with an app or order online! you just need to do it once and it won't be hard next time!
German anon here, we are mostly awkward in the beginning and just need some time to open up. It's super common, just keep being nice to people at work and they will become more comfortable. It's the Germans, they cannot small talk so well. :)
As for food, maybe check out Lieferheld.de or Pizza.de, where you can just pick and prepay with PayPal online. You just have to open the door and take the food from them (sometimes sign that you got the food, but no big interaction needed).
Another German anon here and I can totally agree.
Germans tend to take their time opening up but once they do it's pretty easy to get to know them.
Also if you are in a smaller town people are more open there compared to big cities.
Pretty sure that despite their and your awkwardness it will turn out good. They are probably even more awkward than you anyways lol.
But good luck there !
After being single for two years, I just feel like I'm ruined on the idea of dating most guys. I feel like I'm attractive enough, but my preferences for guys is pretty specific (intellectual, sensitive, open-minded and at least a little bi, somewhat more progressive than me). On the other hand, I have NO interest in dating SJWs/special snowflakes, either.
I'm pretty sure this is the kind of guy I like the most, because I tried to have a relationship with a guy who was decent looking and somewhat similar, but I didn't really feel anything for him in the end.
I don't have a huge social circle who could introduce me to a guy like this. I'm also at a loss as to where to meet new people either. Also online dating has kind of been mediocre, and my city is filled with good old white boy bros who are nothing like my type.
So now I feel like I'm going to die alone. Or there's a good chance anyways. Hearing about all of the people who meet their SOs at parties is depressing for me.
Learn to code and get rich.
You take free classes online and there currently two jobs per one programmer. I mean it.
Thanks guys, I know whats causing it pretty much but Its a lot to go into here. Idk she keeps telling to do what makes me happy but the stuff that used to make make me happy just dosent anymore. I used to love drawing but I dont have any motivation to and if I do it just comes out looking shit. I dont even have energy to watch netflix or play games. Whats makes me happy is just being around others but I cant do that when I only have one person (who now suddenly has a new boyfriend and has started ignoring me… makes me feel like everything she said was just bs so I would get of her back. This happens to me with every friendship ive had. Id bring it up with her but I bet she thinks im clingy and insane enough as it is, and Id rather have 1 friend than 0) and ofc we cant hang out just whenever i want to. People always say well just hang out by yourself but thats what I did today and it just made me feel worse, seeing everyone out having fun whilst im just wandering aimlessly. Fucking boring
Its summer break now and I have nothing to look foward to. idk what im doing after college.
I wish I could just suddenly disappear. no one would miss me
>>195566> I don't think anyone even wants to date me, unless they are some fedora wielding cuck.>don't want to be alive because what's the point if no one wants you
Translation: I'm upset because attractive wealthy males don't want me. There is a diverse range of guys who want you, but you don't want any of them.
Perhaps you have hit the wall, when females get older, roughly around 30 years old, their value to men drops sharply. Your value to men is almost entirely based on your youth, looks, chastity, and how traditionally feminine/submissive you are. (Men's value is almost entirely based on financial/social status, and looks/strength)
Lol at women being so stupid they think the same things that make men valuable, will make them more valuable.Being a strong independent college-educated career-woman who makes a decent salary and has traveled the world, something that makes men very attractive to women, will make you LESS attractive to men.
These same women are thousands of times less valuable to men than an 18 year old unemployed virgin – something that would make a guy very unattractive, and a girl much more attractive.
Women are pathetically unaware of everything. I wonder if I should even bother trying to explain things like this to women, I honestly feel like talking to women about any high-level concept is like trying to explain something to a chimpanzee, or a very young child.(Domo arigato Mr Roboto)
wew m8, 1/10 for bold.
I don't know how to stay on top of it all. Work, trying to be fit, school, dreams of large piles of money, and so on. Seems every step I take is two steps back. Much that I hate my pay-rate, when I'm not going to work I'm a lazy antisocial piece of shit.
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I have my first ever job interview in 2 days and I have no idea what to wear/what to expect/how to prepare
What kind of job are you applying for and where are you? There are some really helpful guides if you google about but really the most useful thing you can do is look at the actual workplace yourself and assimilate
Prepare some answers to the expected questions like "why do you want to work for us" and also some questions of your own, such as what the interviewer enjoys most about the workplace, and practice saying them either to a friend or the mirror until it feels natural.
I don't want to get your hopes down but sometimes it takes a few interviews before you can land a job, so try to make this a learning experience
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Thanks Anon, it's a retail job and yeah i fully expect to fail but i'm still going to try my best at it
thanks guys, I appreciate it. Also I'm in Freiburg, just in case you were wondering, lol. I guess it's not a town as much as it is a city, but it's much smaller and has a different feel than Berlin.
my third day is tomorrow, and I'm kinda dreading it lol, but i'll try to take it in stride. also, vielen Dank for the delivery recommendations, I'll check those out!
Where did I say it was an iPhone? It isn't. It runs android 6. Not even a Samsung, either.
The screen shattered because it fell on it (not sideways, front facing) from above, like almost 5 feet high, and since it had came the day before (online bought), I didn't get the chance to buy a case and screen protection either.
Way to be an entitled jackass just for the sake of it.
Had a friend living there and I can tell you people there keep ti themselves even more than let's say a big city like Cologne or Berlin.
So from what I heard it's harder to make friends there but again once Germans open up to you they will start to be really friendly.
Not really in this situation but I can understand the feeling lol>>195544
I'm sorry anon. When I bought my cellphone I literally just put it in my pocket and one small portion of the screen shattered a bit. Then I bought the case (a thick one) and it never shatter again. Two years going strong. How much did the repair cost?
I want to tell my friend I don't think she should marry this guy. As I write this I know I need to tell her, but she has a kid in the mix, and crazy traditional parents. I'm scared of crazy worst case scenarios where she breaks up with the guy instead of just postpones the wedding, or they get into a huge fight because of it and break up, or she gets upset at me for any reason, just so many bad worst case scenarios running through my head. It's not like this is out of the blue, she has vented to me about some of the stuff he's said and done, and at the end of the day, I think they can work out their problems, but I think they should wait more than 5 years to get married while they raise their kid.
on the flipside though, i am not completely understanding in how tax credits for marriage works, and i think it looks better when trying to get a loan if you're married.. also good credit but marriage I think can influence buying houses and getting juicy tax breaks.
what the fuck do i do and how should i do this without making it seem like forceful. Ultimately I will support her no matter what but I would be sad to be supporting their marriage as her first. I was more bummed when she said she was pregnant but she told me she planned it It was within a year of knowing this dude. If you want to have kids, that's awesome, but who knows what this guy is like, you barely get to know someone like that within a year, and then you essentially postpone your relationship with each other to raise a child. We're under 25. wHY god
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Thank you, anon. I sent an email asking about it to the official tech support and they asked for more than half of the phone's value, so I am not feeling it. I'm gonna search for a good general tech to see if the price is a bit better.
I'm in a wave of bad luck tho, because I got really sick over the weekend and still sick rn, so I couldn't go looking for it around town, all i can do is stay in bed.
I've just sort of given up on this life. I hardly complain in real life, I have work, I study, I somehow managed to have a stable relationship but I’m basically just going with the flow and waiting till my time in this earth is up.
I’m terrible at everything I do (and I’ve had many jobs), I’m sure the only reason my bosses keep me around it’s because I try really hard and have a good attitude; and speaking about work, I’m always stressed out because it takes everything I have to complete simple tasks that no one else seems to have issues with. I’m slow, I panic easily, and always feel out of place. I don’t have friends, hell I don’t even know how to make friends on the internet; it’s weird, I can talk to people, go out with them and all but it just never develops into a friendship, even my brother jokes that I was born with something off. I always dreamed of traveling the world but with what I earn I have only been able to save up enough money to visit a beach; I ended up going alone of course and it was incredibly boring. Because I live in a dangerous city I don’t use public transportation, I either drove or had a family member take me where I needed to be. 7 years ago I decided that it was time to start doing shit by myself, and for the 1st time I took the bus, well guess who was raped that very same day? now I’m fucking terrified of going out alone so for the past years my life has been school-work-home. I feel so hopeless about everything. I’ve tried, I’ve seriously tried to accomplish my goals, I was so full of dreams and thought that somehow I would be able to have a fulfilling life, but here I am, reading shit about other people not even because I want to make fun of them but because it’s the only way I get to “live”. I don’t even have the guts to kill myself so I’m stuck here.
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One of my longest childhood friends went off her meds and completely flipped the fuck out on me because she found out I was uncomfortable about her being friends and fuck buddies with my rapist, and then publicly claimed I lied about it.
I was raped when I was 13, but no charges could be filed because it was all he said/she said by the time I finally told someone so I kept quiet…which means rumors spread like wildfire and I never addressed anything since I decided no one would believe me anyway and figured it would die down eventually, which it mostly did and only the fringe group of goth kids I hung out with ever speculated about it since the guy was part of their circle too.
My friend and I met in third grade, but lost touch when we ended up going to different middle schools until we ran into each other when we were 16 at the local "goth hangout" coffee shop in town. She hung out with my group a lot after that and eventually asked me about the guy because she liked him, but I didn't want to go into it and she didn't press. A few months later I moved to a new state and got into a much healthier state of mind, got therapy, and became comfortably independent when I moved out. We kept in touch on social media and saw each other when I would visit my hometown for holidays. I knew she had a lot of issues stemming from her own childhood and occasionally helped her through drama here and there, but because of the physical distance it was never a major impact on my life.
I got married and lived abroad for a time, and that's when she started to become a bit more clingy. She soon admitted, while high during a call, she had been fucking my rapist on and off since they'd met when we were 16. I told her it was her life and to just be careful, and she giggled and said she "believed 90% of" my story, but also kind of believed his side, and then deflected and changed the subject when I asked why she was bringing this up since it was over 10 years ago by now. I let it go at that moment, but it still bothered me a bit, especially when days later she was suddenly posting old pictures of them together on Facebook and tagging him in things. Eventually it became triggering and I decided to block her (only on Facebook, we still had contact via another social media site) until I was ready to talk to her about it since she was going through a stressful situation and I didn't want to make it worse by bringing it up. She noticed pretty quickly, though, and asked my husband about it since they were also friends.
Since my husband was at work when she texted, he gave her a brief but polite summary and she completely lost her shit. She started telling my husband that I was manipulating everyone I knew, that I sent someone to the psych ward by using black magic (lol wut), and then says we're welcome to contact her through a mutual friend when we're ready to apologize to her before blocking him. Husband screenshots it and sends it to me, mutual wtf commences, and we haven't spoken since.
It's been a few weeks and I've had a few mutual friends approach me, confused, because she made a vague status that "someone she's known since childhood" has been "maintaining a decade-old lie to protect their reputation." I've mostly given a brief summary of the situation and the friends, most of them having witnessed more of her freak outs in recent years than I have, are on my side, but the lengths she went to to try and paint me as this awful person just because something she said and was doing made me uncomfortable has stung me pretty deep. Nearly 10 years of helping her emotionally, and even financially in some cases, and suddenly she tries to completely defame me to our mutual friends, all because I was uncomfortable…It fuckin hurt, man.
I'm still bitter and angry and want to lash out, even though I know it won't do any good since, especially since everyone who knows about it already knows she's not mentally well, but fuck it made me so angry. Plus I'm legitimately happy with my life; I have a decent job I enjoy, a supportive family and husband, and, even though my closest friends live a bit away, I have a great network of people who care. I'm just trying not to be bitter about it and just accept she's legitimately sick.
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I quit my job at a local bar to start working at a high end restaurant. It was a hard decision because I absolutely adored my coworkers but the restaurant offered higher pay and I’m in desperate need of money right now, so I jumped. When I left I was on good terms with everyone and I visit them often because the bar is right next to my gym. We’re still really friendly with each other and I sometimes join them for drinks when they go out after work. But yesterday felt… Different. I know they were both tired but I can’t shake the feeling that they were annoyed with me. Most of the night they were cold and distant, not very open for conversation and mostly just stared blankly at me when I talked to them. I ended up sitting alone most of the night while they were talking amongst themselves or with other customers. I know that I don’t work there anymore so I can’t really ask of them to act like I’m still part of the team or whatever, and I’m the one bothering them at work so I have to respect the fact that they can’t pay attention to me all the time. But it did make me upset when I saw them smiling and laughing with other customers and I could barely get a ’hi’ from either of them when I walked in. It’s especially weird considering I was there just last week and everything was fine.
I just hope I haven’t said anything or done something that would make them so upset with me they’d immediately turn on me.
I’m torn between deciding if I should go back there and see if they’re still acting distant or just leave them alone for a while and see if they contact me.
That's a shame. Hope you get better.>>195836
Be careful and pay attention to the condoms lol, he's being very avoidant about it.
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I'm gonna vent again about this phone saga because
1- I bought a case online for it (it's a very unusual model, so it's really, really hard to find cases for it, even online) and it came with a big ass scratch in the middle. I'm not gonna return it though because I am afraid it may fall again, and even though it's scratched, it protects the phone well. But fuck, I really wish it wasn't scratched.
2- As I said, my phone model isn't very common. It's not a Samsung, nor a LG, nor Motorola, not even a Nokia, so I am having a real hard time finding techs that can repair it (online ones, since I am still sick)
I know this is "very first world problems" compared to what other people wrote here, but damn, it's making me really frustrated.
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I only graduated college 21 days ago and I already know people in my major who are getting hired and getting nice jobs. Meanwhile I haven't even taken the licensing exam.
I feel so jealous. I'm stuck inside studying because I was too lazy to take the exam earlier.
Oh anon, don't be so hard on yourself. Hell, I barely know you but you seem very sweet. But what about going out in a place with less people. Such as a small hike on a mountain or somewhere in a higher elevation. Just a place that's very open and has very little people. The scenery may make you relaxed and it may even help influence some creativity in your mind?
ahh I know this isn't the best thing to say to others but I can't really word it in a better way. I actually have no friends on my own but from my own experience, I do those sort of activities and little walks and they always tend to make me feel a bit better. It also allows my passion for photography to be utilized whenever I do, so maybe it may do the same…?
As for your friend, I may be wrong or right but sometimes when people get into new relationships their bf/gf is technically the most important thing at the moment in their lives so they do tend to ignore others or place them as less important and that may be it…?
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i'm five feet tall. i always thought i was at least like 5'2. but nope! i'm a fucking munchkin.
i wanna be skinny and tall like the people with good genetics. but theres nothing i can do. my body just sucks. i'm not overweight, but my legs are super short/awkward so i just feel like i look fat. like jill, if you check the jill thread, she's not really fat but she's so short that her body looks all chubby and fucking weird. my body is unfortunate like hers. looking at her old pics from when she was ana i get super anxious because she looked ten times better than she does now.
my friends/family tell me that i shouldn't lose weight because i look fine (i've already lost around 30 pounds) but i don't feel skinny yet.
i want the cute skinny legs and the skinny arms and all those things that taller girls have but my body just sucks. i want to be tall and skinny so badly ;-; but no matter how much weight i lose i don't look thin. i'm so frustrated anons. i'm not underweight but i secretly want to be. in my head, if that means i'll look cute then i want it… please do talk me out of this thoughts… i know i sound ridiculous, just venting.
I'm going to write about my experience to you, this is from my diary I got to keep in ED treatment center. This was 6 years ago when I was 17. > I am currently getting treatment for an ED, everything feels like it's falling on me. All this fucking weight I lost and I still don't feel skinny enough. No matter how much I keep losing, I still look like I have a fat gut and thighs. My arms are so flabby it's not cute at all. I still have that cut from a month ago on my face. Gross.> Im 5'0 and 68.5LBS currently. I still look short, chunky, and weirdly shaped. I'm still not happy with my body, but at this point it doesn't matter what I think because I'm literally dying. I lost control with my weight even though I told myself just to lose 10lbs, which was only 5lbs away from being underweight. Congratulations ( anon ), you are a failed skinny girl. The only clothes I can wear are big hoodies and my nieces 12 yo clothing. I can't work because I'm very weak and can't stand for long. I can't so anything, but lay down and feel cold. It's always cold. Every day I get horrible headaches and many heart palpitations, it feels like I'm near death. It's not worth it at all, please trust me ( anon ). > I have severe anemia, so that's why I can't walk without breathing hard huh? My hair is also falling off a lot lately, that's scaring me eep. I don't even look cute anymore, I look like the troll under the bridge. Fucken ew!> Three days ago my heart started to race so fast and I couldn't breathe. It was the scariest moment of my life. My lungs felt like they were being squeezed and my left arm started to cramp like crazy. Today I found out that I had a heart attack. I'm so scared I'm supposed to be calm, but I can't help it. I'm scared of dying. All I can do is cry these dry tears.> I don't want to die I'm only 17. I want to graduate high school and go to college. I want to live so badly! I'm so tired of feeling sick all the time I just want to live normally. Why did I ever lie to myself that I was too fat. I'm so fuckin miserable here and the nurses treat me like I'm insane. I miss mom and dad. I miss everyone.
It took me years to grow out of the mentality that skinny is the best body. I work out 4 days out of the week now, I aim for muscle not flabby skinnyfat. I'm not afraid to gain weight anymore, quite the other way now. You are 5'0. You will never look skinny like a 5'11 woman. Aim for health especially if you are in 20s and educate yourself in nutrition. Lastly as cliche as it is, surround yourself with positivity. There is no need to cause your body stress for the mere illusion of ' feeling skinny '. That feeling will happen once and will addict you into losing more weight. From that mindset, you will do drastic things to seek it again, unfortunately you'll probably only find death.
Yes, I was in control of my weight when I was still passable underweight for one year, but once you start getting used to it you crave to lose more weight. The nitpicking will never end. Also whilst being underweight I developed mild anemia. You always feel tired and weak so say goodbye if you have a job that requires any movement.
If you have any questions feel free to ask.
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I'm very tired of the pseudo-nihilistic edgy "meme" meirl culture that everyone from ages 9 to 30 seems to have ingrained onto themselves.
Everyone keeps posting about how depressed they are, how food is their only friend or how much they want to die and keep making "jokes" and "memes" out of it.
If you do not post watered down memes about how okay you are with dying and how miserable everything is around you but you don't care, it seems you are out of the loop. It drives me fucking mad how degrading mental health has become a joke that is absolutely normal.
I don't mind people who post online about being sad/having mental problems if they actually are having those things, but most of the people who post it do it "for the meme".
I do not mind memes at all, but i really miss when they just stayed on the internet. Now they are everywhere in real life too and you just cannot escape them.
Maybe it's the nostalgia goggles, but before this trend everyone did not mind being happy and showing it. Now if you are happy you have to hide it or mask it into a "haha i'm happy what a weird feeling not wanting to kill myself" kinda deal.
Not only it trivialises mental health, it normalises it and makes it seem that it's the norm. It just fucking tires me and want it to get over with or at least have it calm down a little.
Not only that, but also the whole "sassy" hoe shit that everyone seems to do alongside that. People just being mean for the sake of being mean, because they think it's "cool" and "omg queen" whenever an asshole treats everyone around them like crap they just found on their shoes. It's not cool, it's disgusting, being bitchy to people who are kind to you should never be the norm.
I just want people to be kind and unapologetically happy once again and get over these stupid self-hating bitchy trends.
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Hey, thanks :) I dont really have areas like that around where I live, but I might take a day out to the forest and draw soon. The thing is I think a very social person but I dont really have anyone to be social with. Like if I had people to hang out with I would love to constantly be around them. Not even doing anything in particular, Id love to just be able to stay over at someones house for days just doing nothing. I think thats the best. Drawing in the forest is the type of thing I would to do alongside someone else. I do have 2 other people I talk to often but we arnt very close at all and hanging out with them can get kind of awkward. We dont really have all that much in common so I find it hard to warm up them I guess, but idk where to find people I would get along with. Ive tried the friend finder threads here and on cgl but to no avail.
As for that friend im honestly really happy for her, this new guy sounds amazing (her old bf was kind of a loser). It is making me low-key salty, but tbh I 100% understand and if I found someone who liked me as much as he seems to like her I would want to spend all my time with them too. I guess its the honey moon phase or whatever rn now ahaha.
I have a week long program for a uni im looking at in few weeks and im hoping to meet some like minded people then but I always hope that for these things and it never turns out but Ill just wait and see I guess. I met a girl who was in a similar situation to me and we had some stuff in common at one of these programs a few months ago and we added eachother on fb but nothing really came out of it, we talked brieflya few times but thats it which sucks. I have no idea how people build up strong friendships with people unless they are sort of 'forced' to hang out via school or work.
My summers are always shit like this, last summer I went out (as in like, hanging out with 'friends') about 4 times in 3 months. Its always like this but I guess Im the only one really who can do anything about it. I can try and find company in myself but at the end of the day I just way prefer being people im really comfortable with, which is why its lame to only know 1 person like that because obviously I cant be with her 24/7 lmao. Idk but Im just going to try harder this summer to have fun (I do say that every time tho lol)
I use it as a coping mechanism because if I'm laughing about how depressed and scared I am, I'm not crying about it.
It's pretty weird to think that some of my favourite jokes/memes about being mentally ill come from people who are just looking for karma on Reddit or something.
I don't know what kind of retail you worked in but I feel you. My first job I worked in a bakery at a supermarket for two weeks before I just left. The training was shit, they had me doing the jobs of three different people while the other employees just relaxed, the cake decorator used me as her personal slave, and I got sick so I called out (like the training said to do) and the manager screamed at me. Fucking bye. I'm not making food after vomiting for an hour straight.
I can't go back to the store either and honestly good riddance. It's not your fault at all, why the fuck do these places not train people anymore?
Thank you so much for this anon, really sums up my feelings on the matter.
I've been meaning to express myself on this exact issue but I'm terrible at that sort of thing.
Just posting to say I 100% feel you both. I posted in the career thread some time ago about my experience working as a housekeeper at a luxury hotel and I was appalled at the lack of training/care. Every week we'd get someone new and they'd mysteriously disappear soon after, places like these prey on first-timers and the desperate and there's always always a reason employee turnover is so high. I remember being so fed up and crying all the way home on the train because of my shitty job.
Run from places like these as soon as you see the red flags.
occasionally i still get mad about the shit my ex used to do and i want to scream into his face. some of it is petty.
>got mad at me when i would cry and be unable to talk, forcing me to speak louder even if it caused me more anxiety
>act like he was cute even though he looked old as shit. bouncing, clapping his hands together, etc.
>critique every fucking thing from movies to music, video games etc. but when i would talk about art - "art is subjective" "you shouldn't call things 'good' or 'bad'
>said i had no authority to talk about art because he thought i had only taken like 2 art classes. i had taken it for 6 years, won prizes at competitions, etc.
>when called out for being an asshole by me and OTHER PEOPLE, always mentioned how he volunteered a lot.
>said he was from a san francisco. he was born and raised there for one year, never been back since. his entire life was spent in the city we lived in.
>told me my eating disorder wasn't real
>had NO FUCKING LIPS. god looking back it was the least appealing thing ever. kissing was so unfulfilling.
>would never show his teeth while eating. somehow covered it with his nonexistent lips. it was fucking grotesque to see like he was some sort of worm monster.
>nasty ass precum. it was fishy smelling what the hell
>called my ex-ex-boyfriend my lover~ call each other lovers~ like this was some novella
>have an opinion about EVERY fucking thing. would interrupt other people's talks.
>talk as if he was a professional in his field. never had a job. never released a project.
>share our sex life with other people because he was an "open book"
>disregarded when i would tell him the shit he does (especially the last point) reflects badly on me
>claimed i was emotionally abusive. actually he would yell it at me.
i tiptoed around his feelings and how he wouldn't get a job for so long. then i realized i was being gaslighted about being "abusive" to him. i became so afraid of him, especially after he got physical with me, that i couldn't break up with him because i was so afraid of what he would do, like try to harass my friends and spread rumors about me publicly. i realized afterwards that i was the one being emotionally abused.
Hi anon, maybe you could look for some clubs around your campus or where you live if you're currently on break. Volunteer work could also be a possible way to meet new people and make more friends.
Other places to maybe met new people could be the gym or perhaps by taking a course on drawing/doing artsy things or cooking etc.
Just try thinking about similar activities to sekk out if those don't appeal to you, anon!
I shadowed at a bakery after having a good interview and it was a total shitshow with the manager. At the end of our interview she told me to come in to work a couple days after, and when I showed up she had forgotten I was supposed to be there!
Their registers also had an employee code system so if I had to ring customers out I had to get the other working employee, since I didn't have one yet. Instead of helping the two of us the manager ran into the backroom and fiddled on her phone until the assistant came in.
>spend less than one hour being shown the front end equipment, and not how it works >manager gets angry when I can't use their wrapping machine or cash people out fast enough during the shift >thank them for having me before I leave and the AM has to get the manager's attention to have her even acknowledge me in their office
It's no wonder the place has constant ads for openings when they don't bother training new hires. I don't particularly care for my current job but at least my boss is great.
This is going to be very very long, and I doubt anyone will read it but I really just want to write it all out.
After overcoming a really really bad childhood, rape, sexual abuse, an eating disorder, and crippling misdiagnosed mental illness I was finally on a really good path, I was healthy and fit and able to focus on school and working hard. I have been vegan/raw/extremely healthy for years. I failed so many things so many times I wanted to put my all into really being successful and helping other people, so I decided to work toward nursing school. I was able to get into a really good school and complete one semester well enough, but I had seen several doctors about feeling tired and ill, losing focus, gaining weight, starting to dislike myself a lot. In my second semester I was (finally) diagnosed as Bipolar, and I thought it was great because I finally had an explanation for a lot of my behaviors, swings, and why normal treatment for depression didn't work for me. I was actually happy about the diagnosis. I thought it meant I had a solution and it would be easy and I would be able to continue on. I managed to make it through that semester okay, then I spent the whole summer crippled with fatigue and depression and the horror of trying out different medications with all sorts of side effects. I thought a lot of the time that it would be better if I died, even though I was successful in school so far my memory was getting worse and I wasn't able to recall a lot of important information, which is of course really bad for a medical profession. I somehow made it through the summer, and struggled even worse through the fall. I got by by cramming information and regurgitating but every day I was crippled with depression and tired and basically kept myself going by telling myself that this was my path and I was finally going to be successful. Nobody around me noticed that I was doing badly because my grades were somehow keeping up despite my worsening memory and focus and continued illness, weight gain, loss of self esteem. Finally, in January, what was supposed to be my last semester, I cracked and could no longer function. I started having anxiety attacks every single time I thought about school and how I wasn't ready to work, couldn't recall important information, and had completely failed in my own eyes. I thought about dying every day, I researched ways to die, I couldn't do anything except sit in bed thinking about how it was all over and I had no other choice but to die. I fell into a deep depression despite my meds and my doctor, in a desperate attempt to pull me out of what was essentially a depressive catatonic state, put me on seroquel. This kept me sedated and at least quelled the anxiety, but as a lot of people on these boards know (from reading threads on other bipolar cows) Seroquel is pretty much the devil. I started sleeping 15 hours a day and putting on even more weight, but at least I wasn't trapped in a coma of suicidal ideation (I assume was the doctors thinking). Now, several months later, I have finally got a new doctor who decided to actually listen to me about how bad I was feeling physically (and about the seroquel). How despite my healthy diet and lifestyle I had kept on gaining weight, feeling tired, watching myself lose my body and fitness and self esteem and focus and memory and success. They ran almost every single blood/urine/saliva test available. I have now been diagnosed with Hashimotos, PCOS, adrenal fatigue. The mental health clinic I went to specializes in brain scanning and they found patterns related to PTSD, most likely from my childhood that has never allowed my stress response system to operate and function properly. Even though I now have all these answers, I don't even know where to start or how to begin to process all of this. It feels like way too much for me to handle and I've started falling into that trap of thinking "How much does one person have to deal with?" All I really wanted was to overcome the problems I had earlier in life, be successful in school, and live a stupid, simple life. Now I'm looking at an autoimmune disease that has caused me to become obese, my continued struggle with bipolar disorder, PTSD to overcome, and 75% of a degree that I don't even know I want anymore. All of it honestly feels like too much. I've pushed myself for so long into the ground and now I'm sicker than ever.
get into waitressing babe. I've been waitressing since 15 (26 now) and even at the shittiest/slowest places, I made more than I would working at a shitty by the hour place. yeah you have your slow seasons/shifts but in my opinion it's worth it.
I am going thru the same thing, I'm 26 and a recovering heroin addict. just now getting my life together after getting clean 2 years ago & I have nothing. no car, no degree, nothing. I live in a shitty town on Long Island and I'm trying to figure myself out and am feeling very insignificant because I've accomplished nothing and I'm in my mid 20s. you got this. is your bf supportive, does he have a similar mindset as you?
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I CAN'T BELIEVE I POST ON THESE GODDAMN FUCKING WEBSITES WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME AM I LONELY!?!?
sEE you guys tomorrow <3
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Fuck apartment complex politics, man.
>almost two years ago we moved here
>only white couple, the rest of the complex are indian transplants
>no manners and never say hello to us
>have to deal with children screaming and stomping up stairwells
>small children riding bicycles in motorways
>people keeping their bikes in the breezeways next to our door (illegal)
>people and their children throwing inorganic things like plastics and toys outside their windows and me having to deal with it on my deck/lawn
>suck it up and deal with it because they are just small annoyances
>moved up a floor
>figure out the screaming child problem
>that is, the lazy stay at home moms let their toddlers play in the stairwells and don't take them to the playground/pool in the day
>decide to put up my bird feeders to attract songbirds to drown out the children
>balcony gets dirty from squirrels digging into my plants, and there's seed husks on it so I sweep it off and spray down the deck
>today is my day off
>outside enjoying my clean balcony
>sudden indian dude from floor below
>"Um ma'am can you come over here and look please?"
>I don't leave my chair and ask him what the problem is
>"Ma'am I just want you to look."
>still ain't getting up from my chair and ask what the issue is again
>"Well there's just seed here and it's a huge mess can you put up something to catch the seed?"
>"Sure, give me a couple days after the grass takes the organic seed hulls and I'll come straight down to rake it for you!"
>the guy is an idiot and doesn't get the sarcasm
>give him the thumbs up and he seems satisfied that he's accomplished something
They don't use that deck for anything besides hanging their washed laundry (also illegal and not allowed), but I'm sure that's why they're mad at me. Because when I swept all the dirt fell from the cracks and got on their wash.
Otherwise they don't care about mess and litter at all.
I agree with everything you wrote except the part about sweeping your shit into their yard. Get a bucket and put it in there next time. I mean, wouldn't you be pissed if someone swept a bunch of shit into your yard because they were too lazy to carry it downstairs? (I'm saying this as someone on the second floor who has to haul down the leaves and dirt and bird seed husks every time I sweep.) Plus, if you try to cooperate with them it will give you a chance to ask them for a favor as well. (I asked my downstairs neighbors to stop taking showers at the exact same time as me since they have like 50 children who all seem to need to shower at the exact moment I'm in there.. RAGE
>>196272>I mean, wouldn't you be pissed if someone swept a bunch of shit into your yard because they were too lazy to carry it downstairs?
Did you happen to miss the part where I said I used to be ground level as well and dealt with people throwing plastics, wrappers, trash, toys. and other junk landing into my yard? Of course I know it's annoying, but dirt and seeds are easier swept into the grass than confronting neighbors. They're mad about their illegal wash getting dirty, and having to sweep like I did for the first two years I was here.
If I had considerate neighbors that I liked I would go out of my way like you, but I don't really care about them and put up with their inconsiderations all the time.
I was forced into a group of lazy Russian and Vietnamese exchange students and had to do a big project with them. Volunteered to be the leader in hopes of getting them to do anything at all, they gave no fucks and missed all deadlines or handed in nothing at all, constantly faking being 'sick' and making up bullshit excuses, showing up half an hour late for class, not speaking English in front of the group, etc. Now we got the final grades and they've lowered my GPA to just barely passable when it used to be really good, just because they're lazy rich kids who don't have to worry about working hard and putting in effort since their mommies and daddies will arrange for a good job for them straight out of college. The professor doesn't give a fuck and won't answer students' emails, I can't meet up with him because he's on summer holiday, and I won't be here next year because I'm graduating and moving back home (I'm currently studying abroad). I live in a poor shithole and these bastards have ruined my ONLY chance of landing a decent internship/job because I don't have any work experience (getting a job back home is impossible and nobody hires students, getting a job here is equally impossible because of my lack of work experience and being foreign).
I don't even understand the purpose of going to college if all you're going to do is party, talk shit about your classmates and get bad grades. Just go work as a waitress or something.
Can you go to your dean and contest the grade?
As long as you show proof of your own work and the other students' lack thereof, you should be able to get that grade from the class up to an acceptable level. Tell the administration that your professor did not answer emails and/or did not resolve the issue.
These entire situations are the fault of lazy professors. Group projects are easy to assign because it's up to the students to self-guide and get major aspects done themselves with, at best, a shitty project outline for instruction. No surprise that the same lazy ass professors also hate playing mitigators when their sloppily put-together groups sour.
I've had SO MANY shitty experiences with group projects from college. So I know the difference when a good
professor facilitates group work and a bad professor who just needs to fill their lesson plan. ie. Making it so that part of the project grade is determined by how students rate each other's efforts, or having weekly assignments to turn in for group projects for each individual so that ensures proof of who's doing or not doing what.
I'm sorry you're experiencing that anon. I wish I could say it's uncommon and it will be better next time but…
I had a similar but opposite problem.Trigger warning
I took an advanced feminist studies course, back before tumblr and SJWs were a thing.
I excelled in that class, so my professor thought it would be a good idea to stick me with older music/theater major girls who were struggling so I could work on the final project with them. It was supposed to be a group paper and media presentation.
These selfish bitches acted like complete slavedrivers towards me because they knew their shitty grades were on the line, but instead of giving themselves a gratuitous amount of work, they passed it off on me.
I remember this group so well because they're the ones who bullied me into signing up for facebook because they wanted to be all up in my shit 24 hours. They implied I was a "loser" for not having one.
And despite me being the youngest, I was the only one with a job and a responsibility to commute. They couldn't wrap their heads around why I couldn't make their 7am campus meeting after only texting me about it at 4am. Or why I couldn't just zip over to the library at random odd hours as if I lived on campus like them.
My relations with them soured fast because I wouldn't deal with their shit.
The self-appointed leader bulldyke in our group once sent a bitchy IM about how my word document with my draft paper wasn't showing up in messenger and barked at me to drive out to campus with a USB so she could frankenstein our essays together. I drove all the way to campus only for the smug bitch to say she had 'gotten' it but didn't bother to let me know before I arrived.
They played games like that. When I'd show up to these "SUPAH IMPORTANTZ GREWP MEETINGZ" they'd have nothing and would sit around and bullshit over their Starbucks. Later on they wondered why I thought the meetings were a waste of time and didn't care if I missed them.
Next, they demanded all sorts of impossible personal deadlines for my portion (they never had deadlines for themselves…), and demanded I contribute my idea of a detailed wall scroll, with a century of events and pictures, as another media because the "music mashup" they were claiming they worked "so hard" on every night was going to be a failure piece of shit. They needed me to have a media to save their grades (though they didn't admit this).
Basically I wasn't caving to their demands about pace and they grew paranoid.
I had a job and other classes with other projects, I didn't have time to meet with them everyday.
They threatened that they had been in contact with the professor, because I was just oh so lazy and not meeting their deadlines that they arbitrarily decided!
Day of presentation: My group gave me the stink eye and distanced themselves from me as we go to stand to present our crap. Their papers sucked, and the "music mashup" made no god damn sense and wasn't academic whatsoever. They literally took lyric clips from their favorite "feminist musicians" and made a Youtube mix. I shit you not. This thing they had "busted their asses" on was something that a 13 year old today could make in under an hour! The class thought it was stupid, and those girls had a confusing presentation of explaining how the fuck that noise was even relevant or intelligent.
I bust out my 20 foot wall scroll that I had worked on. People were impressed, and I think moreso because it was obvious, that based on my presenting it, that I had done it on my own.
The professor gave me an A for that class, so I assume whatever lies and bullshit those girls whined to the professor about, the professor didn't believe it. Why would the professor have believed it? They were the ones with the shitty grades and late assignment issues!
Cute sidenote :The other bitch was too lazy to turn in her own library books, so partway through the project she slipped them off on me even though they were useless to me. I asked her everyday in class when she was going to take the library books back from me, but she'd always say 'soon,' and towards the end would pretend to ignore me. She never did it.
I forgot about the books because they weren't my responsibility. I should have tossed them in the garbage, but they stayed in my car. Months pass after the presentation. Suddenly I got a really angry IM from her about overdue book fees and her demanding I give her the money (a whopping $15) and deliver it to her music mailbox. Lmao, maybe that's what you get for not making sure you turn in your books, bitch? So I left her $15 in pennies because my job was a cashier, it was no problem.
She threw some sperglord tantrum about it that I had a hardy kek over because there was seriously nothing she could do about it. I didn't feel sorry for her, I didn't feel sorry for any of those bitches.
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the alt-right channers infesting every part of the internet with their muh white genocide 1488er shit are getting kind of annoying lol. at first i thought they were entertaining because they stirred so much shit and because they have a tendency to embarrass themselves in public just as much as the SJWs/antifa they despise, but at this point, their presence is really tiring. i wish we could throw both of the SJWs and the kekistani /pol/ dumbfucks in a pit and let them have at it.
i've also been accused of being an SJW for having this opinion, and it's kind of amazing considering i'm the farthest thing from that. i just hate white priders and the sad incels that think they're hitler's chosen.
When I see pictures like this I can't help but think>well no wonder white women are race mixing
I view myself as a free thinker in the center with some left-leaning, as well as right, ideologies.
But the problem about being in the 'center' is that you are EVERYONE'S adversary.
I'm sorry, but the US election brought this out the worst in my friends and with strangers.
Overnight, I was suddenly not extreme or 'convicted' enough for my friends because I didn't vote for their demagogues Trump/Clinton. If I didn't agree with them 100% on issues, then I must be 100% against them on the issues.
I had to 'defriend' this one arrogant ass bitch from my social media because I wouldn't take her single Youtube video she posted as gospel as to why I should've voted a certain way, so she proceeded to call me ignorant despite her just being a dippy fashion blogger and me having an actual degree in poli sci.
It's all or fucking nothing now.
Friends on the left, who I used to think were a trite more logical and understanding, shown that they can be just as cultish about their beliefs like those alt-right nutcases. I feel like my generation is destroying polite politics. And that the older gen are either apathetic or thrilled that they have little minions doing their bidding to get what they've wanted.
We are so fucked.
I feel you. I have both Democrat and Republican voters among my US friends and they all say pretty much what you said.
I'm a eurofag myself and I'm so tired of American extremist nutjobs on both sides leaking into political discussions about my country on the internet. They seem to be oblivious to the fact that oher places have different political systems, societal issues and whatnot.
Like I couldn't care less if you think my city is one big no-go zone nowadays because rapefugees
or how Europeans are ~problematic
~ because they don't care about Afro-Americans enough.
At least I only encounter these people online, I feel so sorry for those of you that have to face these people in their everyday lives.
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Whew, after a whole afternoon I've finally finished and sent my candidacy for a project that would finally allow me to leave my southern shithole of a town & broken home to live on my own and work abroad, at least for a year (I would do everything in my power to develop connections and stay there, so let's say more than a year).
I say "would" because they will pick only two people in the city I asked for, but one can always dream. Good luck to me.
Yesterday my swedefag ass was walking through my really small shitty home town to celebrate midsummer with my parents at their house. I was wearing a white mid-thigh length dress with black lace tights and a leather jacket which I suppose the inbreds having lunch outside a restaurant found sexy or whatever because they whistled at me from across the road. I was not at all prepared and just wanted to get from point A to point B and it made me feel extremely uncomfortable and self-conscious the rest of the way. Arriving at my parents' I told them about it and was met with them basically agreeing on that I should be happy about the attention, to which I replied that no, it did not make me happy, it made me feel uncomfortable and that I nearly fucking cried because of it, and explaining this I became visibly upset with my voice shaking and everything. This prompted my mother to roll her eyes at me and give my father a look conveying something like "can you believe this ridiculous daughter of ours" and they both laughed it off. I didn't expect to get so emotional about it and went inside to try and regain my composure. I was in the bathroom drying my eyes trying to calm down and shake it off when my dad walked in to the kitchen and proceeded to try to make small talk from in there, then he asked if I wanted a beer before walking out again. I'm sad as fuck having been ridiculed and made fun of by my own parents for being upset but finally was calm enough to act like a normal adult so I grab the beer from the kitchen and join them outside. My mother tries to smooth things over by saying I look nice and then started talking about the weather and that was it.
It wasn't really that big of a deal but like, this is how they have always been with my sister and I when it comes to dealing with feelings. I'm 28 now and have developed a great relationship with them in all other aspects since moving back here a few years ago (I moved away for school at 17 and have lived in a couple different places since then), but it makes me really sad and a bit angry that they've always been so shit at offering emotional support.
Growing up I was always well fed and our house was always clean, but I can't for the life of me remember ever being comforted or feeling that my feelings were valid. The only exception that comes to mind is the time when I was 9 and had chipped a tooth and my mother had me snuggled up against her on the couch and was hugging me while we watched TV, and the thing I remember most about it is that at the time I felt that it was an unusually tender display of caring.
When I started self-harming at the age of 13 as a result of me never learning how to properly deal with my emotions my mother's way of showing concern was to yell at me about it. Pretty much every concern she ever had about me while I was growing up she showed as anger. When in arguments with my dad he would insinuate that I was stupid instead of trying to understand my point of view. I was praised for doing well in school but was met with nothing but frustration whenever i struggled with other aspects of being a teenager. Any situation resulting in me being upset was never talked out afterwards, no apologies were ever given and my self-esteem has always been shit because of it.
As I got older my mental health-issues got worse and I had a hard time keeping up with school and ended up failing most of my classes senior year. Because of my low self-esteem and messing everything up so bad I saw myself as nothing but a failure and never pursued fixing my grades enough to get educated further and have a proper career. My parents never showed much interest in helping me figure things out and get back on some kind of track, I guess they figured that their responsibility ended once I was 18 and technically an adult and not living with them any more.
I know that they love me and as I've grown older I've come to understand that they did the best that they could, but the lack of emotional support really fucked me up. I'm doing all right now and have worked out a lot of my emotional issues over the years with the help of my bf, but I'm still quite the mess of a person and sometimes I wonder what my life could have been like if I had grown up with more supporting parents.
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I'm really involved in my city's queer/drag scene which is the most accepting and lovely group of people I've ever known and has helped me get through pretty shit times. I'm not super super far-left but I'd probably be classed as an SJW because I do think that gender is fluid and that non-binary/agender people are legit, etc. I believed this even before getting into the scene but seeing how much happier these people are knowing that they're free to do whatever they want with their identities and fashion and makeup made me feel much more comfortable with accepting myself and my own life. I just wish that it wasn't seen as an exclusively SJW/tumblr thing because the people I know have thought this way for much longer than the fucking tumblrites have been yelling 'down with cis' and insisting that people use deer/deerself pronouns (and yes, I think both of those two things are absolute bullshit, I'm not that bad). I ended up where Ghandi is on that political alignment test (centre-left), but even just thinking differently about gender/sexuality gets me branded as an SJW, apparently.
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Bf has been on a God of War gaming streak using the main big tv in our 1 bed apartment and it's kind of boring/annoying at this point. We both work a lot so our main mixing hours are late at night, and while I don't mind him playing vidya and me watching on from my laptop, I wish he'd pick something different.
I wish he could have started any other kind of vidya marathon, I hate this video game so god damn much now whereas before I tolerated the Powder lookin' fuck in the loincloth.
It's mostly just a bunch of button mashing, obnoxious noises/meta narration, and watching him fight the same bosses over and over again bc of course he had to set the difficulty as high as possible. It doesn't even look like he's having fun most of the time…
Sounds like emotional abuse.
Time to call CPS.
Perhaps your parents will do better.
Chin up, anon. Don't be as harsh on yourself like your mom is being.
My parents were the same–thought I would land a $80k/yr salaried job right off the bat with my degrees, but I wound up settling for an unrelated sales job with decent benefits for $15/hr. Their disappointment was/is deafening to me. Because I was supposed to be a golden child and go to law school.
But baby boomers have a warped sense of what is actually achievable for fresh college grads.
Forgive yourself. Know that the way you feel is likely caused by the medication that you weren't able to take. You will be okay.
This so much. Have a stem degree but I'm a stripper at night and a mediocre accountant by day. Parents expect me to pay the expensive ass car they got me.
They don't know how hard it is right now. The whole bootstraps thing is hard for everyone
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I'm so angry at so many things.
SJWs on my timeline are pissing me off so bad and I wanna tell them off but i'm too nice and don't want to "hurt" someone or get shit for it.
I also hate alt right snowflakes. Both are just so fucking retarded and their mere existence pisses me off.
I'm also fucking pissed at the world in general. This whole world is so fucked, corrupted,… If you don't have money you're shit.
I also need to study but what's the point? Working to pay bills, taxes with barely anything left while the government is sitting there laughing with their pockets full of shekels.
Doesn't help i'm fucking autistic and got a fucking chronic illness so any real "good" job is out of the question. Fuck that shit. I'm just so mad at everything.
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SAME ANON FAAAAAAACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
SJWS SHARING PSEUDO-FEMINIST BULLSHIT FROM THE LIKES OF 'GALMOUR' AND 'COSMOPOLITAN' MAGAZINE WHEN ALL THEY'RE ESSENTIALLY DOING IS ADVERTISING PRODUCT CATALOGUES, THE CONTENTS OF WHICH ARE MADE BY LITERAL SLAVE WOMEN FROM THE THIRD WORLD THAT HAD TO DROWN THEIR NEWBORN BABIES IN THE TOILET JUST TO KEEP THEIR JOB.
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could start a commune
Thanks for the advice, anon! I did as you suggested and she bumped up my grade.
I stg I'm going to make people take a personality test before working in a group with me in the future if this goes on.
That's tricky anon, but if you have to do that then no worries. If you never worked at a place that offered you a job, no one will be the wiser. I'd say accept the jobs, but if you get offered the one you really want then reply to the previous offers that "something came up, and I won't be able to work there". They won't be your employers, so no worries. After a couple weeks they will probably have forgotten about the whole ordeal. Good luck!>>196607
Sorry to hear you are depressed anon. I hope this new year in your life brings you lots of happiness!>>196615
Why are you living in a hotel anon? Isn't that more expensive than renting?
Hope everything gets better for any anons who are in stressful times btw.
Hey anon, try going to WIC (Women, infants, children) and seeing what they can do for you, especially since you're pregnant. There's so many resources for women specifically, if you're struggling with near homelessness. Definitely look into it and ask questions on subreddits or Google for mothers in your exact situation. People want to help you.
Also, regardless if you're religious or not, churches can be really helpful and tend to do a lot of work locally with people down on their income or even homeless. If they cannot directly help you, they almost always have connections.
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I'm retarded, please send help.
I was fat all my life and recently lost a ton of weight. I'm slowly getting /fit/ now but I'm still a virgin. I'm in my mid twenties and I'm embarrassed of being a virgin, which is super stupid because I know that's something I shouldn't be ashamed of, but I feel like people are going to judge me in my future relationships if I'm this inexperienced. Should I ask one of my guy friends to fuck me/seduce him, or should I just wait to find someone? I don't even know how to do that, ffs
I'm very shy and a bit awkward, I just can't see it happening casually with a guy… Thanks
, that's what i'm going to do anyway but it helps a lot of hear someone else tell me it'll be ok, ty
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I recently turned 18 and i'm having full blown panic attacks about how fast life is going by. It feels like i was 8 yesterday, playing with my friends and making stupid movies and going to elementary school and loving it. Now it's suddenly been 10 years and i'm officially an adult and it just makes me so fucking anxious. I barely remember the last 5 years, it has gone by too fast. Soon i'm gonna be 80 and taking my last breath.
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I feel you anon, got hired at Mcdonalds last year (was my first job!) and their training was awful, they just toss you in and expect you to figure it out, I cringe looking back on all the awkward interactions I had kek. I mean sometimes my co workers would try to help but most of the time they were too busy doing their own thing. To this day I'm still angry and appalled at how stupid and mean customers can be, people are horrible.
Gonna vent about my time there;
The shit talking there from my co workers was probably the worst though, they would openly criticize the shift manager when she wasn't there and complain about not getting enough hours, and would low-key talk shit about me as well. It wasn't a very good work environment (as you'd expect) but the one thing that'd made it super awful was one of the managers there, who was literally Satan. He was the goddamn worst, just the kind of person that gets off on the power trip and loves to make you look stupid. I came home crying twice because of him, whenever I'd see him my heart would sink. After I quit I used to get nightmares about him and that I was still working there, it affected me quite severely. It was nice to know that no one else liked him either, they even brought it up to my boss but it looks like he didn't care enough to actually fire the asshole.
There was also a handful of co-workers that I wouldn't hesitate to push into the hot oil fryer, two of them were my age; a guy who had a dumb undercut that was promoted to manager and the other was a fake as fuck girl. At one point, both of them were on fries for some reason, and I was on drive-thru handing out food>one of them had forgotten an order of fries so I had to ask them to give me another one>Girl didn't hear me after I repeated it twice and she got frustrated quickly and went behind undercut manager guy and in a low voice "i can't fucking understand her ugh/mumbling to him". >He says also in a low voice that I can still hear,"Gotta keep the aces in their places" then asks me to go to the back drive thru a.k.a the hot place with no fan where they put people they don't want around in to work.
I basically got sent back there for nothing, it wasn't even my fault that THEY forgot an order of fries, I was only there to give out the food.
The whole situation was stupid and he handled it so poorly, same with another time when this mentaly ill man came in and started picking the lose change off the counter (it was change another co worker found in the lobby)>I was cleaning trays and undercut guy was at the counter awkwardly telling him not to do that>he then notices me standing there and tells me "hey anon can you handle this?" then leaves me there with the man. >I let the guy have the change since I didn't have the energy to deal with that and wanted him to leave.
I was uncomfortable since the man was big, mentally ill , and hard to understand but it bothered me more that my co-worker decided he didn't want to deal with it and just dumped it on me while he goes to chat it up with my other co-workers.
Now I'm just hoping that the jobs I apply for don't end up like that experience, I hate people so much jesus christ
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Thanks, you made me feel better about not having a girlfriend.
3 months ago I got fired from I job I really enjoyed for being absent too much, I got sick alot since it was Winter. During that time, my boss did not like heat cause he and his brothers are fat fucks. I got let over the phone and I just cried and cried. My whole life I was rejected by my own parents, family, teachers, people who I thought were my friends. I just couldn't take it. It just brought back all of those feelings back again.
It hurt even more that a few months prior I was staying at my best friend's house for 2 months and his mom fucked me. We agree that rent would be $100 (I've known him and his family for 7 years and we were close at the time) at the end when it was time for me to go she threw a 1.5k "bill" at me and I was so bewildered, hurt and betrayed. She never said anything about changing the rent/conditions with me, she said "Anon. I told you". In her alchoholic ass mind she thinks saying "I can't take this" equates to "your rent is now 1.5k" the room was dirty before I moved in and she wanted me to clean it like how it was before lol. I had literally no money and I still have debt to pay off, I had to borrow money from my mother, who I am grateful for to pay her back so I could leave. Despite struggle financially I still paid her because of the respect and friendship I have with my friend, she got 1.2k from me and she's been asking for the rest and I won't be paying it. I should had fucking done this earlier, I will never forgive her for betraying me like that. I loved her as if she was my own mother. I use to send her cards and gifts for mother's day and her birthday. I was so hurt and crush..
I'm trying to get back on my feet but it's been tough. I spend most of my days in bed, I don't contact my friends anymore as they indulge in shit like drugs and the party/club scene. I feel alone because I can't talk to anyone, sometimes I feel like I can't speak to my SO about my depression. I felt strong before, nothing got in my way and I feel like I lost that. Sometimes my SO would critisize me saying that maybe I never had that headstrong attitude to begin with. He makes it seem like I was lying to myself and everyone. He just recently netted a job with a top finance company and I am jobless and depressed. He tells me that he feels like I'm just sulking behind him and it makes me feel like other shit. It makes me feel like he doesn't think of me as an equal. Again I can't talk to him about this because he will say something like read the self help books, go find a job, go work out. I have no motivation to help myself and just alone..
But most guys would want a virgin girl, if they could choose. The number of men who prefer that their girlfriend has had sex with other men before, rather than being the first, is very low.
You must be talking about guys who only want to date virgin girls, and won't date a woman if she had sex before, I guess? Then you're right, these guys have issues and that anon should avoid them.
>>196745>A normal man wouldn't care if a girl isn't a virgin.
Strongly disagree. Lots of people love the idea of being their partners firsts. I'd wager a significant number of women like that idea too. There are of course those who avoid virgins because they don't want to go through the learning process but I believe those are the minority.
Now if you said it wouldn't be a big deal for a normal man if she wasn't a virgin, I would agree.
This really depends on the individuals and virginity means nothing to some people, regardless of gender. A lot of people are doe-eyed with virginity. They wanting perfect virgin mates have religious backgrounds or have some ideal vision of being someone's one and only. Yeah, it's a fetish to some, but wanting a virgin isn't just because of a single thing.
Most well-adjusted people will just take a person due to actually liking them, not if they have a v-card still. Go for those reasonable types and if you happen to be a virgin, just be honest. It's seriously not a big deal and if someone makes it a big deal, consider it your big red flag.
People don't consider it racist because it's implied that they GENERALLY don't mesh well with people of X race/ethnicity/nationality [however, there might be/are exceptions], as opposed to "I hate niggers and would never date one ever, ew".
This is the kind of butthurt you see when someone says "I don't like cats" and a cat owner comes to defend their furbaby because he's such a great pet. Relax, I'm sure Mittens is a great cat, just not for everyone.
It seems like it's only white people who actually prefer their own race.
Everyone else just prefers white people above their own, and gets butthurt because whites generally have an ingroup preference. Hence the veritable rivers of butthurt from certain subreddits (e.g. /r/asianmasculinity).
>>196786>I have had plenty of men tell me they're shocked that I'm cute/not smelly because I'm Indian and they wouldn't date Indian girls. I have had plenty of men reject me before seeing what I look like only because I said I'm Indian
I know this feel, but I'm black. Pretty much all of those people turned out to actually be ugly or mentally fucked up in some way, though, so it was no big deal. Some of the ones that did end up seeing me usually reeled back and tried to find out whether I was mixed race or made shitty comments about me being an "exception" or something, which was really dumb and annoying, too.
A lot of people won't understand what you're saying because they've never been put on the receiving end of bad stereotypes, but you're entirely right, anon.
Yes, i am projecting. And yes, thats not healthy. Idk how to stop stalking that bitch tho.
Btw my bf has minor contact to her, because he has things in her basement.
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We have barely any food in our house and I'm starving. my partners pay doesn't go through until tomorrow, and all we have in our house is some instant rice and one pack of ramen. I don't like bothering others for money or food, it feels wrong so tonights dinner will be suffering. Just one more day..
Like instant ramen?
I'd cook the rice and use the seasoning packet from the ramen to season the rice.
Just to switch it up. Maybe even pick out the little dehydrated vegetables from the instant ramen, hydrate them, and fry them up with the rice.
Idk. Got a spice cabinet?
You can't force people to have sex with you; that's called rape kek. Some people don't date fat girls, some don't date skinny girls, some don't date blondes, some don't date goths, some don't date normies. You're not entitled to the desire of others. I know many caucasian guys who specifically like a certain ethnic minority and don't like their own race, that's just how it is and they are entitled to like what they want and be in control of what they wish to date as are you.
I'm Arab and my preference is Asian and Caucasian. I am not attracted to other Arabs or Indians, I also don't mix well with their strict culture so stay away (even if they are westernised, if it's long term their family becomes my family). Call it what you want but it is what it is and I like what I like. And if someone didn't find me attractive because I am Arab, so what, I'll get over it as so should you.
Dont give up anon. Someday you will find someone whos ok with you and your bullshit.
I fucking hate my coworker. I have to prep his paperwork for him to take to his jobs and he never believes me on anything.
Last week I passed him the work forms to complete and told him that he'd gotten the city wrong, it wasn't X city, it was Y city. He absolutely refused to believe me, the customer who requested the work, google maps, AND our boss and called the customer to confirm I was wrong.
Surprise, I wasn't.
This is the 5th time this has happened, at least once a month he calls behind my back to my boss to insist I've gotten something wrong when I haven't. I've been doing this shit for 4 years, fuckwad, you've been here half a year. I'm pretty sure I know what I'm doing.
That and literally all he does when he comes into the office is talk about how he purposely pisses off his wife and thinks it's hilarious, brags about driving a motorcycle, and this, that or the next family member being in gangs. He's in his late 40s for fuck sake.
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I am getting more and more sick of lolcow. I am sick of people sperging over non-saged posts and derailing and acting like mini-mods. Just shut the fuck up and report the post instead of derailing with 15 posts about derailing.
I am sick of every single poster accusing others of being pullfags. Honestly, lolcow is worse than pull. On pull they at least have polite conversation about actual content, even if they powerlever a lot. Here we just have endless nitpicking of perfectly normal girls.
I am sick of perfectly normal and beautiful girls being torn to shreds by jealous girls here. The streamer threads are a perfect example. Beautiful and normal girls being called manly, potato nosed, ugly, old etc. Its honestly pretty fucking embarrasing.
You always have deniability because it's anonymous, anon.
It happened to me once on cgl. This spoilt psycho bitch I was telling a story about always railed against 4chan for being ~bullies~ yet apparently she was obsessively checking every thread everyday. So she replies to my post freaking the fuck out demanding to reveal my identity because she knew it was about her. Suddenly on her fb she posts a screencap of my post and was whining about it to her friends trying to get people to tell her what I said wasn't true.
So just to fuck with her, I posted in the thread pretending it was about someone else and what a massive tool she was for projecting the story to be about herself. Other people agreed and she got 10/10 tier ragey and started backpedaling. Anons made fun of her for getting upset. And of course she never figured I made it.
So change names, go vague on details, but ultimately you can always deny it.
(IMO I'd rather people talk shit about me anonymously rather than spread shit to people irl, but that's my 2c)
Yeah I don't think any of the streamer girls are ugly and have said so in a thread only to be bombarded with "r u sure look at this pic of her anon" to which I'm like no she looks fine. I think ugly should only be reserved for cows like raven lol.
I know what you mean this site gets mentally tiring sometimes
I've been struggling to cope with depression since the latter half of elementary school (I'm now in my mid-twenties), and even though I was able to finish university and find a decent job, I feel like both my romantic and platonic relationships have suffered.
I have a close group of friends who I love, but I rarely respond to text messages and turn down plans frequently, which has left me alienated. I know it's completely my fault, but it still hurts. I'm going to be leaving the country next year and I think they're probably happy to be rid of me.
And in terms of men, I've never been able to be close to anyone. I always shut it down at even the slightest flirtation, even if I like them a lot, which is the most fucked up part. I don't know what's wrong with me. I've never had any traumatizing experiences or suffered abuse, I'm able to be sexually aroused, but the reality of it is overwhelming.
I just feel like a complete fuck up.
I work in a private facility for addictions and mental health, have been there since last year.
Without going into too much detail my facility treats all ages pretty much, from around age 4 to adulthood. I work the most with teenagers. Our facility is supposed to be safe, impossible for them to harm themselves, or close to it.
But I found out today one of our kids killed themself the day before (Thursday) while I was not working. They hung themself. Nobody found them for 27 minutes, a head count was late/missed
Now I have no particular attachment to this particular teen. They were kinda really crappy, you couldn't help them, and whenever you tried they would snap out and be mean and would not open up no matter what. Many tried so hard, but you couldn't help them. They were a ward of the state, no real family and no foster family or attachments aside from some friendships. But nobody saw suicide from this person. Never talked about it. But it's the ones who font talk about it that go through with it most often, right?
And I can't tell why I'm having such a hard time with this. I can't tell if I'm sad about it, angry, idk what I should feel or do feel besides kind of numb.
I go back to work tomorrow and I don't know how to feel about it or how to talk to the other patients about it, if they ask or talk about it. I've never been in this kind of situation.
Could we have done more for them? What was so horrific that they did this? What couldn't they open up about? And why do that to so many other people, their peers and staff alike? I have so many questions that I know I'll never get answers to…
I agree so much with a lot of this.
Also ana-chans calling everyone fat.
When people called Anisa fat and started aguing about it I wanted to ragequit. I mean, she's not ripped, but c'mon.
Too bad I am addicted to the milk, but this gross cowpox discharge coming with it is annoying.
I'm so sorry, Anon. I had to put my elderly cat down a few weeks ago; it is never easy to lose a pet. I can tell how much you love your doggo and that counts for a lot, okay?
I'm a little tipsy and your post hit those feels, sorry for being a big stupid baby. Hang in there. <3
Thank you so much. It really stresses me out because I want to have a baby before I ding 30, this is my last year to do that.
I cut out a lot of friends when I had the MC, and now the ones I have just doesn't understand why it's devastating to lose something like that.
I can imagine post partum is rough. I don't look forward to birth and hormones but it'll be worth it in the end. Probably. Hopefully.
>>"It's not the end of the world, just try again">>"maybe it's for the best that it didn't stick"
(referring to me being depressed…. over the fact that I had a miscarriage. Apparently that makes me an unfit parent.)>>"You really worry about this too much">>"Just don't think so much about it and just try again, it's not like it was a real baby yet"
It might sound pretty tame and not as insensitive, but being hormonal and hearing this shit from your so called best friends is really hard. It was also around the time I got married so I walked down the isle raging with hormones and looked pregnant but wasn't.
>>196985>my life will never get better>I'm 22
Ahah. Anon, I know you're depressed and not being able to get mental health help feels hopeless, but you're thinking just as irrationally as how you were planning to kill yourself by July.
Become a squeaky wheel like other anon said; tell your uni that you've had suicidal ideations and you haven't been able to complete assignments. There's a possibility (if you work on this now
and don't wait further) that you could have those bad grades wiped and you could retake the courses. If you do see someone, get handwritten letters of your condition, and if your uni psychs can write to your professors, have em do that (that's what I did during my breakdown in grad school).
And if you haven't come clean with the professors of those courses, do it now. You want them to understand and be on your side. They have hundreds of students, so they're going to assume the worst about you if you haven't shown up for classes and haven't done assignments like any other typical 'party' student.
I'm sick of this too and the only explanation I would have for such an behaviour would be that their character just makes them look ugly in general?
I used to know someone and I thought she was really nice looking. Turns out she is a shit person made her look less attractive after that.
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Ive always wanted to be famous or popular online or be a model but as social medias have come and gone, and I got older, I accepted at 16 Im not pretty enough and my life is too average. I recognize its dumb and egotistical to care about ect but it still bothers me time to time. Especially with my current situation and now that Instagram has become a job for the girls pretty enough, girls like Alexis Ren and other insta models who make a living on traveling and modeling or just being a social media star. I know its probably not that easy, that theyre probably unhappy too in someway and it wont last forever, ect, but I would have loved to experience it.
Im mostly at peace with it but my young sister has showed me girls like in pic related who are like 14 and literally living the life I tried to have until I was 16. It seems so effortless for them and I hope they know how lucky they are. When I was in college my parents got into an accident and I basically had to drop furthering my life to take care of my whole family because Im the oldest and both sides of my parents family are gone in some way. I love them and wouldnt trade them for the world but I wish I couldve experienced being insta famous at 16, being an insta model who travels, or even a vlogger. Im especially envious of Taylor for obvious reasons. I’ll be raising my siblings for probably the next ten or more years and taking care of my now disabled parents for life. Reality sucks more than ever and the life is being sucked out of me from the stress. Life isnt fair.
>>197039>other insta models who make a living on traveling and modeling or just being a social media star
Oh my sweet summer childhttp://tagthesponsor.com/2017/04/19/how-instagram-models-end-up-with-large-amount-of-followers/
Feel free to browse the entire website, pay particular attention to the scat fetish requests
The trick is really to just make it look like you're living a traveler's lifestyle or in luxury if you're not. I can take a picture next to any lake and say "Canada is great!" when you're just by any old lake with pine around it. You don't even have to do things like cool foodie shots at expensive restaurants. Just take a picture of your Starbucks unicorn frapp with a pastel filter in a bubblegum pink sweatshirt and it's good enough because it's just aesthetic.
Instagram famous is just such smoke and mirrors. Most sugar babies/cam girls/sex workers don't even make all that and clearly have splenda daddies and limited budgets, so even that doesn't always work.
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I don't have any friends but at the same time find it really hard to motivate myself to do things alone. Even running errands or going out to buy food or something, I hate it and it feels like a boring chore because I have to do it by myself. But it's been years since I've had friends so I know I have to get used to it because the alternative is that I just don't do anything at all. That's kind of what I'm doing right now, and it sucks.
I need to go to the store today, for example, and I just feel dread and overwhelming loneliness. But that's how I feel about everything, everyday.
What about work anon? Coworkers can be good friends.
It's too bad I have to quit my job because the company is going under. Then I'll be right where you're at until I find something else
I'm a temp worker in a really close-knit office, and the culture honestly reminds me so much of highschool cliques. I've tried being friendly but half the time they don't even remember my name, or say things like "Oh, you're….Anon, right?" in a really catty way.
I'm sorry your company is going under, that really sucks. I hope you're able to find something new ASAP.
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I'm worried I can't give my fiance a child.
My cousin is already pregnant and I feel like such a failure because I had all the signs of pregnancy (it would have been my first) and I was so convinced yet 2 weeks later I got aunt flow. .
And with all these women openly proclaiming their pride in having abortions etc. it aggravates me to no end. I WANT A CHILD.
I feel like my basic functions are failing me entirely.
And my cousin's was an accident to top it all off
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My taobao package got rejected by china customs and is just kinda in china mail limbo while my agent fingers their ass not retrieving it at the post office. I've never had an issue with customs in the 7 years I've been using taobao, figures it would happen now while I'm not in the best of money positions. I'm trying to have hope that it's just in mail limbo like an anon told me rather than actually getting rejected for ?? reason, only to get returned to my agent where I have to fork out $40 in shipping AGAIN to ship it and MAYBE get it, maybe have customs reject it again. idk. I was really hoping to have cute clothes to wear for Summer.
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That's awesome, anon! I'm proud of you! You'll get used to the job quickly and the nervousness will go away so don't worry too much. You're going to do great! What kind of job is it?
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I have work, I hate work.
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Same shit every year.
I don't feel like writing a huge rant, but this year will probably be as awful as every year. Guess the good part is that I can't get anymore disappointed or sad about it.
>>197130>I'm way too sensitive about everything: loud noises, bad moods, critic.
You may want to look into highly sensitive or hypersensitivity.
Also… just have a look at all the other people. What are they actually contributing?
How much of seroquel do you get? If it is below 100 mg it is only used as a calmer. Ive gotten it too for sleeping issues.
You visit a psychiatrist. Did he say you got BPD?
You should ask him for a diagnosis.
anon, there are usually only a few pills that get you actually addicted. Are you living in the US? Is it possible to find a psychiatrist that doesnt overuse such medication?
Antidepressants e.g. have no addiction issue.
You could even go there and tell them you want something that is non-addictive.
Iirc only opiate based medication is addictive.
it's possible you actually were pregnant. Only 30% of fertilized eggs, survive the first 4 weeks or something. Most of the time women dont even notice.
Can you take anything that increases the baby-friendliness of your uterus? like ask a doctor.
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Im proud of you! You can do it!
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Ive got my period and everything hurts, and im emotionally sensitive as shit and full of love and I want chocolate, but at the same time Im glad because last month was the weirdest I had in years and I was actually scared Im pregnant or some shit.
Also I fell in love with a girl and omg everything is just so mhhhhh right now.
I see what a big relief, Thank you anon!
hope i can convince them and go soon :)
>>197140>You may want to look into highly sensitive or hypersensitivity.
Thanks, I'll look into it.
I got the diagnosis bpd from a psychiatrist after I talked to her for 20min. I had a breakdown before, so I cried the whole time.
A second psychiatrist told me he doesn't believe in bpd and I should built a social net(web?) to support me. Also recommend sport, moving to the US (because people there are happier lol). He also was excactly like Dr. House and I think he took a few pills himself lmao.
Just 25mg seroquel. :)
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Today I was scrolling through Google Street View and pics of mountain villages, chalets, woods, northern lights and I've been a ball of feelings, it made me feel so peaceful but also I want to go there really bad and I started travelling with my imagination like some sort of Anne of Green Gables and started to look for nice b&bs and cabins in the woods for a future vacation plan for me and my future bf
A lot of people get a low dose of seroquel.
20 minutes is not really enough for a good diagnosis. If you self harm or used to, you have a 100% chance of getting diagnosed with bpd, although not everyone who self harms has bpd.
imo most of the time it's a cop-out-diagnosis
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do it, one piece of advice though: go as far north and as rural as possible, dont settle for something more south.
I was in Umeå in december
and it's for one not far north enough to really see the boreal light (especially not in the city) and also not rural enough for real (touristy) native villages with reindeers.
phew… it's really too much to remember it. There are so many genuine things you can do in sweden. I remember the ice hotel in kiruna, astrid lindgren things if youre a fan in the near of stockholm. Elk farms are great but theyre only seasonally open in summer I think.
for native villages, i dont really remember, sorry.
but there are quite a few and theyre partly open for tourists.
further more i only know about sweden, but the lapplander/sami (natives) are all over the northern parts of scandinavia. http://www.visitfinland.com/article/chill-out-with-the-sami-people/
this might be a weird advice.
But carrot soup might help.
Just take 500 gram or 1.1 lbs of carrots. Chop them in small parts with a knife. Put them in a pot with twice as much water. Add a teaspoon of salt. Now boil it for over an hour or better two hours. You will have to add water again as some of it will get evaporated over time. So make sure the water level stays put over time. After it cooked for 1-2 hours, you can either puree it with a (hand) blender or press it through a sieve. If you lack both, eat the carrots together with the water - it should be the same.
Eat only the soup for some days.
Ive had super bad diarrhea and was super nauseous for over a week and after starting to eat the soup it got better. It's important though you actually cook it for over an hour or longer.
You can try taking Perenterol along with it.
Thanks anon ! Didn't know about not drinking in between meals I'll try this thanks for the advice !>>197177
I'll try it but Idk if it will help. Tried so many things and nothing helped for a long time.
I got some med's I still take but I only got a few more left so I normally only take them if it's really bad.
But thanks for the advice !
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>have aspergers and depression
>date a really cute guy but make it clear I don't want a relationship
>constantly pushes my boundaries and inserts himself into my stressful moving situation then uses that to guilt me into doing what he wants (seeing him more because he is clingy and FLIPS if I tell him no when he wants to see me)
>finally get drunk last night and tell him that I'm tired of him saying we're so similar while shutting me down and making me feel like an alien when I'm expressing myself (aspie so that means talking about my passions)
>tell him I'm done with him making me feel like a freak
>at first he is apologetic but then gets mad and guilt trips the hell out of me for the "help" he GUILTED ME INTO IN THE FIRST PLACE
>he starts saying shit like he loves me and I used him so I say goodnight because he can't love something he was so apathetic or rejecting towards (my inner self)
>he has some kind of meltdown this morning and drives an hour round trip to throw a hat I have a duplicate of into my yard and blocks me on fb
Wew lad. At first I was sad but once he texted me about the hat I kinda lost it. He's 26 and that is just so petty. Maybe it's not nice but I find it pretty funny. Mixed emotions because I'm still sad that I'm an aspie and treated like an alien, but also feel a lot better about my decision to dump my ex (almost a year ago) and express my feelings to this guy. I'm normal (in the sense that aspergers is just neurodiversity) and fuck these guys for treating my "eccentricity" like a defect. I'll stick to people who act like adults and are more than just trivia-smart, thanks.
Ugh. I hate dating. (Also I resisted texting him #cutebutpsycho and basically live-snapped the hat debacle)
>>197151>the client didn't ask for the X to begin with
Then they don't get it.
Unless they pay up. For extra X$, you will provide them with it, if you can.
Before each project with every client, write down in clear writing in bullet points EXACTLY what they will get for their money. Quantify every aspect of work. Ask them to confirm it. Start working.
Any demand they make, if not previously agreed upon, charge extra or simply refuse to do.
This is how you business. Know your worth and stand your ground when you bargain, or you will be sucked dry.
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Every other week or so I break down.
Mostly when i'm by myself and have the time to think, since I live with my bf.
I just have no friends. None. My bf is the only person in my life that gives me human interaction (i live away from my family so i don't see them much).
After falling out with a close friend over them not treating me like a friend, i was basically their person they used until they found someone better, I just shut down. I'm extremely lucky to have my boyfriend but if anything were to ever happen like we couldn't live together or break up i would be 100% alone.
I know if i didn't have him I would self harm out of depression, boredom, and pure need of attention. I'm a Uni student the supposed high of my social life and the 2 years i've been here i've never been out to any parties or anything i just sit at home. My degree is all guys but 1 other girl and she doesn't seem interested in talking to me and while yes i do have people i talk to in uni they're not the kinda friends you'd go out clubbing with and vent to them, you know? (hence the venting on lolcow..)
I'm just a lonely person and i WISH i could make friends but i don't know how too, my uni has no proper clubs to join or anything that i could go to alone and feel safe/comfortable.
I start my work placement for uni in september and while i would like to hope i'd make friends it's at a game dev company - another sausage fest with people twice my age.
I just hate myself right now.
I need an insanely rigid example of a budget. Or some insanely rigid example of developing self control. I just recently quit smoking cigarettes and starting using an e-pen, but I'm still fucking up my lungs, and I want to stop altogether. I also smoke oil and I have no knowledge of any long term studies done on it but I imagine oil just slicking over entire clusters of air sacs in my lungs and rendering them useless. I want to actually be healthier and not be as dependent on indulging in chemicals all the time. I share everything with my partner so quitting cigarettes was a joint effort, and I am worried that if shying away from dabs or pot won't be, it will put an actual strain on our relationship. I personally wouldn't care if he didn't want to quit, but I feel like the dynamic of our relationship would change. I'm honestly just afraid that if I quit everything and make huge improvements in my life and he doesn't, he'll develop some kind of complex. I would actually enjoy a partner where I'm more of the breadwinner or I treat him more, I just want to have control over the entire situation quite frankly.
All I want to do is not work in hospitality anymore. Laborious jobs aren't paid enough in this area. I'm not even working in a field relevant to my degree, which is irrelevant to the career choices in general anyway, so what's the point in the first place? I can be in debt until I'm dead.
Part of me wants to be running the show, the other parts want to run away from literally every obligation. I want to just wander around all day hopped up on a substance and indulge in bullshit media and take shitty pictures, draw shitty pictures, write shitty stories, and occasionally relapse in some way or the other for hellish, self-destructive and self-indulgent mayhem
I feel like a fucking idiot, I feel like an idiot that I even share any of this here
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I ended up dropping my guard and catching feelings for an online friend after knowing him for a year and a half or so. We talk daily. Of course, he's on the other side of the planet.
It took me about a week or so to be honest w/ myself about it and as soon as I do he tells me about how he's made friends with a cute girl at his work and how they really click. He's not dropped me or talks any differently with me or anything, and I'm happy for him, because we both find making new friends fairly difficult and he's been deserving of a win for a while; I'm just really angry with myself. Who tf am I to be crushing on a nice boy three continents away? I'm an absolute moron.
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I have no friends and no boyfriend and I live with my mom in a retirement/resort town. I'm 27 and a virgin and I seriously worry about slowly morphing into a friendless middle aged homebody.
>>197347>>Are you me anon?
I'm not a virgin, but everything else you said sounds spot-on to my current situation. I've become so depressed, I'm on antidepressants and even though it makes me not want to kill myself, I'm still not happy. Luckily, I applied for graduate schools abroad, was accepted and my stepdad has paid for everything (bless him!).
If I were a few years younger, I probably wouldn't have appreciated this opportunity as much. At 27, I realize finally what I want out of life. I'm not sure about you, but I got myself in this situation a few years ago because I never thought much about what I wanted to do after college. I probably would have been happy staying with my longterm boyfriend and working a regular day job if it weren't for studying abroad. I did 1/2 my undergraduate program outside the country, and suddenly realized the awe of living in a giant metropolis.
Even though I was miserable in my home country/city after knowing what else was out there, I decided to start my own company straight out of college despite student loans and almost no funds or skillsets. Even though I learned a lot, the idea of being stuck in my current situation/location constantly threw me into panic. The fact is, as much as I enjoy many of the seniors I know through living here and wouldn't mind vacationing here, I don't fit in and desperately miss living in a large city with lots of stuff going on/opportunities. Even though I desperately wanted to succeed at my own companies, the dread of being trapped in this city/country for the rest of my life really screwed me up. This dread of becoming "stuck" here resulted in me also having zero IRL friends anymore (was scared of getting too bonded or falling in love and never leaving).
Even though I finally decided to leave, I go into a panic everyday/night thinking about dropping everything I've worked toward and leaving. I know it will be easier for me living somewhere I'm happy and not constantly panicking about becoming "stuck" living somewhere I'm unhappy, but it's still difficult. I'm leaving in 2 months and plan on staying abroad permanently in a huge major city. Honestly, I just want to live somewhere I'm happy. Living with my mom isn't even an issue for me, but living in a small town/resort city just isn't for me. I'm planning to have my family visit me for extended periods of time (mom and stepdad are both retired), but it's still scary knowing I'll be gone for good.
>>Sorry/sage for the blogpost and not contributing much, but thought I'd share my situation a bit more in detail incase you can relate since it's not often I see people in a similar situation.
Do you have any plans to leave/change your situation?
Thank you for rationalising that for me, makes me feel a little less loopy. I appreciate that.
But, just, FUCK. Maybe I'm just really paranoid but I'm a little scared he'll just… forget about me, or something. Logically I know that's dumb – we're very close, if not the closest friends we've both really ever had (we both have decent helpings of trust issues brought on by shitty upbringings), but I'm just some girl on the other side of the world, with not much to offer to him.
Just fuck my shit up fam
Moving abroad is not going to fix your problems, if anything it's going to create more. You keep talking about moving somewhere 'where you'll be happy' but you don't magically become happy by moving somewhere else, even if the place is more prosperous, because you'll need to try twice as hard to succeed there and people rarely pick candidates with foreign credentials unless they've a degree from Oxbridge, Harvard or some other world-famous institution. Not to mention that it'll take LOTS of money and LOTS of time just to get all the paperwork in order (for you and
your folks), find a place to live, learn the language (if you need to), get a job as a foreigner, meet new people etc. It also costs exorbitant amounts of money.
I STRONGLY suggest talking it through with a therapist or a friend, I've met many people with a similar mindset (I moved abroad years ago, come from a country with a massive expat population and occasionally hang out in expat groups) who thought moving to X country would magically make everything better and finding work, making friends, etc would be easier than back home. Believe me when I say it'll be much harder.
Please, please think this through very carefully before causing irreparable damage to your bank account, CV and social life. If you're unhappy now, you're not likely to be much happier anywhere else.
i've had an ear infection too and yeaahh i feel u its fucking miserable. sorry that you're going through that.
>infection>hair lost>hormonal problems>weak immune system
uhhh maybe ask your doctor first before losing the weight? just to be extra safe?
start counting your calories. its the easiest thing you can do to lose weight right now. there are plenty of apps to track calories, free ones too.
if you are a little overweight you can lose the extra weight easily with calorie counting (as the anon called, "stop eating tons of food"). if you're heavier and you need to lose tons of weight then changing your lifestyle +diet/exercise is necessary imo.
sometimes the tiniest things like not asking for soda, skipping breakfast, eating one less slice of pizza, and other silly things can make all the difference. when you track everything you eat, you start realizing it so i'd recommend it for you anon. since its bothering you a lot and you can't do much in your situation. good luck, hope you feel better.
Yeah, thank you anon. I am not obese, my IMC is about 26 so yeah, overweight. I actually lost tons of weight in the past (about 60lbs), but since I started (and dropped) the pill, my hormones and metabolism have been shit. I've gained about 25lbs back. Mind you, I don't drink soda since I was a kid and don't eat tons of shit, actually my blood results are pretty good.
I am currently taking medication to for this, but so far nothing changed. I've lost half of my hair since January, it's sad. And to prove that it's totally hormonal, my nails are always big and healthy lol
I'll admit that I do love me some carbs tho. I'll try to eat them less and even bought some kitchen stuff to help with meal prep.
But until them, I'm pretty miserable. And deaf.
But really, I appreciate the help and concern, anon! Sorry if I sounded too whiny
I've actually lived abroad a few times, and have pretty good credentials. I see a therapist, and she also recommended I leave (she's an expat from Europe).
I've never had an issue making friends, but decided not to make friends here because of my own fears of becoming "stuck".
Luckily, my folks don't need to file any paperwork as I'm a dependent and plan to have them visit (not live with me) so this is all on me. I know it's a lot of work, but I'm getting everything in order and will be eligible for permanent residency in a few years. I know this is right for me, but thanks for your advice though anon!
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>tfw have the face and body of a wee hobbit child but the voice of Big Bubba
>for some reason everyone thinks I'm a lesbian
>people think I'm angry and violent when I get autistically excited about something because my voice carries
>when I answer the phone people always mistake me for my boyfriend
>tfw I'll never be kawaii
At least I can always join the Bulgarian mafia or be a pocket sized loan shark. Loan barracuda.
I've been on seroquel to sleep for 3 years and I'm up to 600 mg but I don't want to be anymore. I'm numb but also I have a mental illness that makes me feel so intensely that I feel safer feeling numb but at the same time I feel spacey and exhausted and dumbed down.
I'm gonna lower my dose and see if I can still sleep. I see my psychiatrist in like 3 weeks and I'll discuss it I just want to start already I'm tired of feeling faded as hell everyday
I hope I can do it though… I've never tried. I don't remember falling asleep without meds for 5 years easy..
Suggestions are welcome, also any drugs I could suggest I switch to???
Got thyroid issues and shit never got checked out (it was around 3.5) because normal doctors over here still think that nothing over 4 is bad.
So if they tell you there is nothing wrong with a let's say 3.0 got to a specialist they'll get shit going
My doctor says something around 1 is perfect.
are you the weight issue anon?
yes usually over 2.5 means issues. most doctors treat after the old standard of 4.0 though. :/
if you have over 2.5 for several blood works, try to get an ultrasound of your thyroid, your thyroid hormones T3 and T4 checked and get antithyroid antibodies checked.
I have hashimoto's thyroiditis, which is quite common among thyroid diseases. my tsh was 16 in the beginning and I was adjusted on a dosage so that my TSH was around 4 and literally lost several years of my life because I felt like crap.
My tsh is now nearly not measurable my thyroid hormones great and Im on a combinated medication with T4 and T3
No I am not sorry for the confusion.
Glad to hear that you feel better now !
And I feel you. I don't have hashimoto (my mother has is though and I think it's very likely that I will develop it too someday) Injust felt like crap before my meds.
I still feel very tired most days and I can't seem to lose weight but it's much better than before.
I'm curious anon how is it with trying to lise weight for you?
My mother is talking a lot of bullshit when I ask her she is lying that she can't lose weight at all and only maintain her weight, despite her being lazy and eating like shit.
I wonder how much bullshit she talks or if there is a grain of truth in the stuff she says.
Hey there anons, I am this anon >>197394
and I am very thankful for your help! I don't live in the US (or any english-speaking country for that matter), so what is "THS" exactly? I'll translate it to my native language and double check the results.
I have my blood results (and we have universal health care where I live so it isn't a particular family doctor or anything) and I checked every page when they came out (I always do) and didn't see any problems but a Vitamin D deficiency (that many doctors say it's pretty common here where I live, but I have to take supplements for it anyway lol)
I do have PCOS and as far as I know I don't have thyroid problems, just "metabolic issues" (?), also I doesn't help that my uterus is retroverd and it sits wrong on my intestines/colon area making it harder for my bowels to work properly lol Shit just sucks (literally i guess)
However the doctor said a low carb diet really helps for most of my problems (and I've tested so myself and it really does), however it's very hard not to eat bread and stuff like that on a daily basis, when I go to work it's almost impossible to find something around that doesn't have refined carbs, so I really have to meal prep, which I am looking forward to this weekend or when my new kitchen gear arrives.
Sorry for this long-ass post lol saging for that. But thanks again, anons, it's super cool how you're willing to help~
I have weight issues, but I rapidly lose weight when I start cutting out any carbs (at maximum 30 gramm per day) and do a high fat diet. https://www.dietdoctor.com/low-carb/keto
ive started 6 weeks ago and already lost 8 kg
I fucking hate my brother.
He is a lazy, selfish slob who refuses to help out or contribute. He's 19 and unemployed, after being kicked out of college for never attending. He sleeps all day and plays video games all night.
What's caused me to hate him is the way my mum treats him. She has always babied him, defending his shitty attitude and lack of self-responsibility. 'Oh well, at least he's not on drugs'. She enables the fuck out of him and it causes nothing but arguments. My dad can't stand my brother because, like me, he is completely embarrassed by him, so my parents are constantly arguing over his lifestyle, and of course he doesn't see any of this as his problem.
I'm the older sister, and I've always been held to a higher standard. Everything is expected of me whenever they go away - taking care of the house, walking and feeding the dog, laundry, cooking food, picking up post and I fucking work all day. But my NEET brother, who does shit all, is expected to do nothing.
I'm so fucking envious of all of my friends, who have a good relationship with their brother. They joke, the share interests, they care about one another. It's so surreal when I visit them and I see them having friendly conversations with their brother.
I can't wait until I move out. I will never speak to that sack of shit again.
In pretty much the same situation, anon (only it's my sister, not a brother).
It's so weird hearing my bf talk nicely about his siblings! Thank God I'm not the only person feeling like this.
I'm sorry about your situation anon, I envy those tight as fuck asshole siblings with their cosy families and shit. People laughed and thought I was weird for me and my brother not even saying hello if we saw eachother out and about.
I've hated two people in my life, and one of them is my brother for the abuse and the fucking hell he made my childhood. We're cool now but we will never share a bond.
What country are you from ?
Maybe google something like thyroid result blood work or something like that in your native language maybe that will help ?
Or ask your parents about it I'm sure they will know.
I'm sorry anon but I laughed haha
Maybe play it cool ? is it a friend ? You might be able to laugh with that person lol.
If it's a stranger then I don't know what to do really just ignore it I guess lol.
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I kinda of hate coming to visit my moms.
Every few months I'll come to my moms to stay a week with her and her boyfriend because I hardly see her, and I know she's loves when I come over. Every time I stay over though, it's always the same thing. I hang out with her after she get's off work, she seems in a good mood and then her boyfriend starts ordering her to do things/she gets super pissed off at how messy her bf made the house/gets pissed off at her bf she making her go run his errands while she has her own stuff to do. I'm happy to help out if I see she needs it, like I'll do the dishes and clean up a mess if I see it but she gets in this SUPER foul mood the moment she's around him, cussing up a storm, throwing things and stomping, talking about how she wishes she was dead.
I get mad sometimes too when my partner makes me alittle mad but my mom pushes it.. it happens every time I come over and it makes me feel very uncomfortable as she storms through the house. Often I just go outside away from her. Both my sister and I have tried to help her get away from her partner, to move someone else and dump him but it's been over 7 years and she won't take our advise. We have tried to help her, I tell her I love her all the time but when this happens every time it reminds me why I don't visit often. She has no life of her own, she lives to work for her bf.>>197518
I'm the same with my sister, we had a terrible relation growing up together and I loathed her for a very long time. We are /okay/ now but she seems says very demeaning things to me.
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I farted in front of a guy I had a crush on in 8th grade
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i have depression and it keeps fucking things up
i was achieving really good grades before i developed it then that all changed. i ended up managing to get into a fairly good uni but i just got a shit grade in my second year and i need to decide whether a) i redo the year and try to improve or b) continue into my final year and work my ass off but get a piss poor degree
i'm worried no matter what i choose i'll still underachieve
i felt like a fuck up before but this has dealt a big blow because the course material really wasnt that difficult but i could never concentrate or remember anything
i have other problems too from struggling with my self-esteem, to poor social life
it's getting to the point where im doubting if i can ever change but i dont want to give up
i just want to be an functioning person but everything is just so much all at once i can never get myself in order
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My new meds are making me miserable, i've been on them for a month and there's no improvement. My psychiatric clinic won't offer me therapy and rarely do check-ups and is generally shit at offering the right help atm (they used to be better for some reason). I'm a wreck and lie in bed and cry all day. My boyfriend is amazing and supports me a lot, but i still feel like shit whenever i'm on my own. I can't even manage my job which is super non demanding with few hours. I just want my life back.
it's TSH: thyroid stimulating hormone.
it's a Hypothalamic-pituitary hormone and produced by the hypothalamus and pituitary gland, not by the thyroid itself.
It regulates the thyroid function.
The TSH is usually the hormone that is checked first and most often at blood work. Should be the same in your country.
Go check for it in your last blood works, maybe they even checked it. Tell me what it says.
sorry im the same from >>197486
I want to give a more elaborated answer.
I dont know how it functions microbiological and what the issue is, but in my personal opinion and what Ive learned from a selfhelp forum in my native language, not everyone with thyroid problems has weight issues.
Some with hypothyroidism are underweight with trouble gaining weight, some are overweight with trouble losing weight and some are at a normal weight with no specific issues at all. I guess the thyroid is not the main source of problems and that the other genetic sources and family sourroundings play a role too.
personally and what ive experienced from other people with this disease I think, having one disease that affects the hormones makes it more probable you will have other hormonal issues as well. And just from my experience it seems more people with thyroid diseases have a genetic insulin resistance. It's a proneness for type 2 diabetes but without the illness became manifest. It makes sense since it is discussed that the thyroid plays a role in processing carbohydrates, which is the reason why a lot of people can make great results in cutting carbs out of their diet.
ahh sorry, it's so hard to explain everything with all the medical terms in another language than my native language.
the second part is that if you dont get the right medication or enough of it, you lack energy which makes it hard to get out of bed.
Regarding your mother, dont judge her. Be glad you dont have the same thing. Of course she has own responsibility and she could lose weight, she would just have to use double effort. You know?
And at your mothers age, it is probably less important for her than to enjoy eating. :/ Idk.
God, I just come of my sleeping medication TT__TT I'll stop rambling now.
cough… what I want to say summasummarum: it's 50/50. She probably is lazy and stuffs her face with garbage, but even if she didnt, it would be hard for her to lose weight. And a short term diet wont work. She would need to stop eating crap for the rest of her life to maintain her weight.
How overweight is she?
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hi anon, im the seroquel-advice anon from the tuna thread.
what mental illness is underlying all of that?
Is it possible for you to reach out to psychotherapy?
>also any drugs I could suggest I switch to?
Do you really think this is a good idea?
In the beginning an antidepressant thats calming could be helping.
Dont do big steps, just try it with 550 or 575 in the beginning. Do you have the 100mg pills at home or 25mg? If 100mg… you can ask in a drug store for a pill-parter (or whatever thats called in english, image attached) that way you can take quarter, half or 3/4 of a pill and lower the dosage in small steps.
Your body needs to adjust to a new dosage and come of the stuff.
People with good skin routines should have perfect skin.
I woke up on my 19th birthday with cystic acne.. it's never gone away since. Years of treatment. I always took amazing care of my skin- only wore eye makeup, always used sunscreen, vitamin c, collagen. i must've spent thousands on amazing luxury products for my skin. i've always had a great diet and i never eat fast food, dairy, or tons of sugar. the acne is hormonal so things have 'worked', but eventually they stop working.
my friend has perfect skin and she sleeps in her makeup. she always jokes about how she only eats mcdonalds (she literally does, she can't cook) and only drinks coke. she cakes her face in foundation like a drag queen even though she doesn't have a single spot. it seriously makes me want to commit suicide.
i eat healthy, i workout, i always have my whole life. i've done so much to keep my body in perfect condition. i can't go outside without foundation, but putting it on hurts. and whats the point? you can see all the huge, nasty bumps under it. i'm thin, and people used to always compliment me when i was just out and about. no one compliments me anymore.
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Her skin will probably look like shit in a decade or so, while yours will still look youthful.
At least, that's what I keep telling myself when I feel bad.
as you see not everyone has nice siblings and cosy families. :/
I also always envied those who have good relationships with their brothers. My three brothers are strangers to me.
But hey, at least your didnt enable a child molester to take advantage of you, like mine did.
i know what you mean kind of.
Doctor hopping though comes mostly from them being lonely. Most of the elderly would just need someone to talk to weekly, not even therapy-tier, just someone who cares a little and listens. but they dont have anybody so they do the only thing thats available to them: they go to their family doctor.
but I understand why youre annoyed. Elderly people are so unflexible and grumpy and want to have everything their way
I have something better. I farted in front of a co-worker who I always thought was nuts.
And a few days later I swear she farted forcibly and hard in front of me. It was the most awkward thing Ive ever experienced someone do. I wasnt even that embarrassed by my fart, but that… that was something new.
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what are your studies?
Why would one bad grade make it a piss poor degree?
I cant follow …
>>197583>must've spent thousands on amazing luxury products for my skin
Sometimes luxury products have too many ingredients because they're trying to do EVERYTHING for your skin. I know that my skin routine at its most expensive was harmful to my oily and spot-prone skin and my acne at that point was disgusting. I kept folowing skincare routines recommended by brands that I thought were good but they weren't all they were cracked up to be.
Switching to simpler products perfected my skin. I think it's easier to pinpoint which ingredients don't work for you when each product has less ingredients.
tbh now I just use aloe vera, witch hazel and olive oil and skip anything with alcohol or perfume in it. Every week or so I branch out with a luxury mask or serum. I switched to a milkier sunscreen too because I think the thickness of my old sun cream blocked my pores.
in my personal opinion and from my experience your skin care routine is nothing more than an advertising scam.
Ive had cystic acne from 14 to fairly now (30). Ive done one round of accutane which has improved it a lot, but I still get small break outs.
Weird share but I had diarrhea and took some stuff that improves your bowel bacteria and BOOM suddenly all of my acne is gone (good fucking god, sometimes im so glad this board is so anonym).
what I want to say: improve your bowel.
btw what I took was perenterol, but you should probably do a full round of intestinal repair / renovation of the intestinal flora
asmefag: no product I ever bought did fucking anything. It comes from the inside and that is where you need to heal it.
And btw, I dont even wash my face daily anymore and my skin is the best it has ever been.
I have the exact same settis. Everything, exactly the same, the age, the town type, also a virgin and no experience whatsoever.
I'm deep deep down in depression and my mother is overly attached to me. I don't know if you watched black swan but the mother-daughter relationship is a lot like the one between me and my mom.
What's worse, I live in a country where unemployment is really high so I'm also neet. I applied to so many jobs that I can't even count, not even one single response. Now I barely get out of my bed. I can't sleep, eat, I don't even go internet that much. I just wish I never woke up. If it weren't for my mom, I would have jumped or overdosed already.
My father told me that I have to start paying rent from next year on or that I move out. I'm sort of looking forward to it. I'll just go to the nearest bridge and end this.
>>197599>your skin care routing
not yours.. i meant skin care in general.
like, it doesnt do shit.
it just "common knowledge" it would help because of advertisement.
Santa is red because of advertisement and diamond rings as engagement rings werent a common thing until the 50s and cartier's engagement ring advertisements.
it's fucking nuts.
Our society is fucking nuts.
is it not possible to move countries?
or to get an education?
yeah, I understand how module's grades are build up.
I still dont understand why your grade would be so fucking important or why a lower grade would make your degree suddenly so piss poor.
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I'm so sick of the power leveling that goes on in any threads that have to do with personality disorders (especially BPD or Narcissism) its always the same bullshit of random anons arguing over medication or armchair diagnosing but writing paragraph after paragraph. Usually following it up with how they know someone personally or have the disorder themselves. Putting "sage for blogging" at the end doesn't make it all better, it's totally ruined some threads and when it's going on it makes them almost unreadable (the Onision thread and the Luna Slater thread, for example- both overpopulated by autists).
I know its possible to discuss such things in a civil way…the munchies thread for example isn't that bad. For some reason though the average anon can't comment on bpd/npd without sperging the hell out.
How often do you shower?
I know it sounds weird but when I was in Basic,I showered much less/slept dirtier and my acne cleared up
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hahaha its basically been radio silence other than "check this dank meme the cute girl sent me" since I've posted that. I know that sounds petty and clingy as shit but before that we'd check in w/ each other a few times per day. He was even like 'hey dw ur still important to me' with no prompting or anything, but idk I don't really feel like I am. I just wanna be happy for him but fuck I'm feeling kinda bitter about it
I kinda just regret everything tbh
like FUCK this is what u get for having feelings u dumb bitch why are u like this!!
Stop wasting time and get the fuck on accutane.
I wish I went on it earlier, it would've saved me so many years of suffering, so much money spent on skincare that simply cannot fix cystic acne that requires proper medicine, and all the scarring and pigmentation it left behind. I know it's hard to make the decision because of fear mongering about side effects but your derm will monitor you the whole time. Fuck the accutane causing depression meme, it cured my depression because it was 100% environmental as a result of acne.
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it's not even a significant other thing, either?? she's married? If anything we were kinda like the significant others, we're a more-than-friends close kinda thing, but neither of us said anything about it bc we're on either side of the world and it wouldn't work. We've dropped the L word on each a few times and have done the whole 'I'd deffo date you if distance wasn't a thing' song and dance. Like, we get together and watch streams and shit and fall asleep in voice chat on each other, that kinda close.
It's just dumb. idk i feel really stupid abt it – it was a thing for a couple of days before I even posted about it bc it took me that long to be like 'no ur not being stupid about it IS kinda shitty'. I couldn't ever hurt him over it though, because I do love him in whatever way it is that I do way too much. It just really kinda hurts and I have no idea what to do about it
I'm only judging her because I think she is lying by making up excuse. If she would just tell me smth like 'I'm too exhausted from work to cook smth or do sports' I would understand.
Idk how overweight she is to be honest. She kinda looks like Momokun just maybe 2 sizes bigger and with a huge ass (you know like the I had two kids kind of ass)
Thanks for all the info though.
I've never been really interested in my condition despite me taking the meds. And I used to eat like shit too (I think I still can't get over the fact that I used to be one of the kids who could eat anything while staying thin or at least I didn't really learn on how to eat more healthy so Idk how that works lol. Stupid excuse I know)
Nowadays it's better and I'm slowly trying to understand how to eat more healthy so I can lose weight again.
I know how you feel anon lol.
I feel like this cosplay scene is all about gaining 'Fame' now which makes me fucking sad. Before it was also kinda about gaining like compliments or whatever but now with Instagram and that bullshit it took the whole scene to a different planet. I feel like you sometimes too anf then I have to remind myself that I'm doing it because I have fun doing it and I enjoy it not to gain some likes which don't even mean shit unless you actually make a living out of it.
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I'm getting really tired of 'eyebrow-shaming', even if it is in jest.
I have naturally thin eyebrows, not 90s pamela anderson thin but pic related, except rounder. They're also kinda far apart, that's just how they grow.
I have big, round, protruding tea-stained eyes and they really don't need to be emphasised further with chunky brows, the ones I have now suit them just fine. I've tried several different styles but it just made me look fucking goofy. Yet people insist I get mine filled in, microbladed, shellacked into obedience etc because that's trendy now. I use a brow pencil and make them slightly fuller when I do my makeup, but any more than that would look silly, and I've tried.
What's worse is that in pictures they look even lighter, thinner and further apart than irl for some reason. Same thing happens to my lips, they just… disappear and my eyes look really meaty, idk why. Which just incites even more comments about my 'sad brows'. Jfc stop, not everyone's face suits Lily Collins caterpillars.
Ignore it and be proud you're not enough of a dumb trendwhore to force a look that doesn't work for you. Things like that will go in and out of fashion but your natural shape is almost always gonna be the best choice.
Though I do question the sort of people you choose to interact with, are your friends and acquaintances all mean spirited instathots?
eyebrow shaming? really?
and if you're comparing yours to Kristen Stewart's, I'm sure yours are fine. hers are light but the shape and thickness is just fine.
I know the feels anon, im in your place actually
How long is soon and how bad is your body exactly?
I have tubular breasts, fupa, man ass, and sooo much fat on my face,shoulders, arms, back, and armpit, i also have a lot of razor bumps on my thigh area and my labia has these weird wrinkles in it, im a virgin though so idk
Basically my plan is to get a lift and some fat transfer to my breast, some fat transfer to my butt and hips, and acne scar removal, and fat transfer to my labia, with some jaw reduction and im doing a looottt of working out, waist training and taking care of my skin
In clothes,i look normal,without them I look bad
I also might consider selling my eggs to pay off the surgery as well>in b4 "ooo just work on your self esteem"
Look I have a breast mutation and god awful body that working out and dieting can only fix so much, i don't want my boyfriend to take off my clothes and be disgusted, it's for me and I've been struggling with this since i hit puberty, it will honestly make my life so much better
Have you tried actually working out and eating better?
If there's that much to fix is it really worth going through all the trouble?
I seriously think your self image is kind of warped, I understand if someone's nitpicking because we all do that when we look in the mirror but I highly doubt there's so many things fundamentally wrong with you that can't be fixed with diet and exercise. The fupa comment just supports that.
yes, I have, like I said, diet and exercise only goes so far, I have awful genes really, I do legit have tubular breasts, I wear an A cup and they're sooooo saggy with nipples the size of a coaster , my self image isn't warped, which I get that a lot because I wear baggy clothes that make me look normal, I have fupa because it's in my genetics, I'm 5 foot and even when I was 95 lbs I still had fupa, I gave up and I'm 135 now, I do diet and exercise especially with squats but as I said, squats and exercise can only go so fat
my ass is shaped like a mans ass, I don't have saddle bags, my hips are shaped so weird, they're not hip dips but, they literally are straight flat on the sides, I have two huge dents in my ass, like a mans ass would be shaped, it's just awful and I have been squating/ weight training for years, it did get bigger and more toned but my hips and dented sides didn't change
I know how you feel anon, one of my breasts is a A vup an the other is a B cup, it's awful.
However, if your boyfriend really loves you, he won't care about stupid shit like that. Sometimes sex is just like an extension of cuddling, by that I mean, your boyfriend probably will be happy if you both feel good, like cuddling.
Also, having sex with the lights off can be fun. It helps you feel eachother better and not pay attetion to your sorroundings.
I know it's hard, but try to relax. If he cares about you, he'll understand. If he doesn't, well.. he shouldn't be your boyfriend in the first place.
well depends, if asymmetrical breasts are the only flaw you have then it's going to seem a lot easier to talk about how if a man will leave you for your body then it's not worth it
I'm anon from >>197663
and I know my boyfriend loves me enough to not break up with me over my flaws but I do want to fix some of them, no I don't expect to be perfect but this is something I struggled with for years, and planned on getting PS for years, and I know it will make my boyfriend happier when he takes off my clothes (as long as if he doesnt know about the PS) it will make him happier seeing me more confident and I will be happier and won't feel trapped inside my body, I only have enough good attributes to count on one hand and none of them even matter (good feed/hands, nice skin color, nice nose, nice lips, nice hair)
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Untill last year I had never had a friend who genuinely cared about me or had anything in common with me, all my friends untill last year where just people I meet in my last year of hs and we were all just kind of stuck together bc it was the last year and everyone already their own groups (all of them where foreigners who had just moved so didnt know anybody, and had just been told by teachers to hang out with the unpopular kids, thats how our 'group' was formed) we all had nothing in common with eachother and they were all very focused on work, which I didnt care about all, so I never did any fun teenage things aside from a few partys here and there. We never went out on the weekends or hung out at eachothers houses or cafes, no texting till 3am or sneaking out, other typical teenage shit. It sucked. When hs finished I cut ties with them and spent summer alone in my room pretty much everyday. I thought when college started I would find a nice group to hang with but everyone In my class is a mirror image of those from hs. Expect for one girl who by some kind of insane coincidence, idk how, who shared pretty much everything in common with me. It was almost scary.
Finally I found someone who I share so much in common with and is the first true friend Ive ever had. I thought everything was finally starting to look up after being depressed for years, and I was starting to look foward to the future a little more
But of course bc Im fucking cursed or some shit
> Find out shes moving away and wont be coming back to college after summer
FUCK. wow I genuinely dont know why this shit always happens to me, why I am not allowed to be happy?? I guess not being completely alone was fun while it lasted. I dont think I can handle being alone again. The thought of it just makes me to kill myself, as if I didnt already.
Sage for samefag forgot to add, im >>195558
for extra context kek
It's not my only flaw, I was just giving an example because I really hate them lol I do have a lot of flaws, but I didn't want to drag it on.
If you want do go under the knife, all the power to you, just don't do it because of your boyfriend. I almost ballooned my tits because of an ex, he said he couldn't get hard because my breasts were ugly, turns out he was just an abusive motherfucker.
So be careful, anons.
Agreed. I tried dating my male "best friend" and after we decided to become bf/gf, he started going on about how unattractive I am. It's not a big deal that he wasn't attracted to me, since I don't/didn't find him attractive either, BUT he was pretty crass about his feelings. It really made me feel bad about myself.
He told me the perfect girl for him was a DD+ 182cm+ (6'0"+) Swedish blonde (with naturally platinum blonde hair) that dressed like a hooker. This was before he moved to Sweden (literally only moved there to get a gf).
I never had someone bash my appearance so much before, so I considered plastic surgery. In fact, I made an appointment with a surgeon, who told me I didn't need surgery and to spend the money on my hair and nails instead.
After I came to my senses, in part due to the plastic surgeon and therapy, I realized that I was being ridiculous trying to change myself for someone I didn't even want to date!
As for my "friend", he's leaving Sweden now, after a few years of trying to get a girl there and the 10/10 Swedish girls not wanting anything to do with him. He regrets everything.
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It's Yukata Season and I can't fit my Yukata anymore ughhh I just wanted to put a Yukata on and tie cute obi ribbons. Sigh.
>inb4 stop eating so much
Yes yes I'm working on it, but I'll probably lose the weight when Yukata season is over. Oh, well.
Have the Queen being cute in a Yukata.
No clue, i really hope so, last he said anything about her was that she was a hoe being thrown around by old dudes and is dating some ugly meth head
Why did he feel the need to mention her body is better than mine though and brag about how tight she was but blast me the secone i consider plasic surgery?
Didn't mean to delete my post btw sorry
Ever told him it bothered you?
It seems like he lied about her being a ~perfect pear shaped submissive jap waifu with big tits~
He sounds douchey, anon. You deserve someone who's supportive, not ANNOYED when you feel insecure. <3
I've had 2 seizures because of it, but I keep abusing my bupropion. I just got a little more careful about it. Logical solution is to switch to some other med, but I don't want to do more SSRIs again. They make me feel dead inside and kill my already decimated sex drive. Depression, fuck yeah!
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Depression hit me hard again, my boyfriend used to be the sole thing that pulled me out of the gutter. Now he just seems to parrot these same phrases that everyone does, he doesn't make my anxiety induced ocd habits disappear because he just keeps denying everything. "It's not like that!", "It's all in your head!", "You'll feel better in time, you'll see!". I know it's all in my head and I can't break the loops I get into with pointing it out. I know it's not his place or job to fix me, I don't expect that. I'd just wish I had a little bit of thought and reassurance dedicated for me. I'm all alone and I've started planning my death again, because everybody is just a shell to me. Nobody has any meat in them anymore. Not even him. I love him so much but I'm so lonely.
Atm I'm just in bed, bleeding my uterine lining out and crying alone when I just would want to be held and given attention. I keep pushing him to play with his friends and spend time with them, because I don't want to poison him with my company all the time. I don't have any friends myself.
I have stretch marks all over my body, and I've had them since the second I started puberty. Legs, arms, stomach, hips, back, boobs. Everywhere. My boobs are also very big but they sag. I was the first one in a bra. Soon is in a month or two. I want to get laser treatment for the stretch marks, and I'm considering a breast lift or a reduction. I never see anyone else with stretch marks this bad except for women who have been pregnant. I'm not even fat.
Best of luck with your treatments anon. >>197676
Thank you for the advice anon. I know if he loves me he should be able to accept my flaws, but I hate them myself and would feel a lot better if I could get rid of them. I wish I could accept myself for how I am, but I see how perfect everyone else looks and it makes me want to claw my skin off.
your body is probably not even half as hideous as you think it is.
and even if it is: just be grateful you dont die a virgin.
If you can live with eventually numb nipples, get an operation. I have them, not even really bad and if I wasnt scared I would lose all of my sensibility I wouldve loved to get them done at 18.
Oh anon, I know how you feel. I'm the anon you replied to in the post.
I remember being a teenager and wearing size 0 everything, never worrying about a single thing I ate, never even trying on clothes before I bought them. Now I'm 22 with an ugly body and I'm lucky if I can shove my fat ass into size 7 jeans. I'm 115 pounds but it's all fat and almost all of it goes to my hips. (5'3" for reference.)
I'm really changing my lifestyle because I'm sick of being such a fat pig. I'd really like to get to 100 at first, but 95 would be perfect. I guess I really just want to be able to look into the mirror without hating everything I see.
Good luck to you anon. ? This shit is so hard.
Speaking as someone with body dysmorphia, you sound like you've got it, too.
Listen to the anons here. Also, you shouldn't live your life only for beauty and only for others. There's more important things.
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WHY IS IT SO FAR TO LOVE MYSELF, I'VE BEEN TRYING SO HARD TO LOVE MYSELF, I FUCKING HATE IT AND HATE MYSELF, I HATE SEEING OTHER GIRLS I HATE EVERYTHING I HAVE BEEN SEEING PROFESSIONALS AND EVERYTHING BUT NOTHING HAS IMPROVED
Sorry you're triggered
Damn anon, you're a really shitty person. She's your grandmother. You literally hate an old woman who is responsible for you being here because you're such a spoiled little cunt.
Appreciate her while she's still here.
I totally get it anon and annoying is annoying. It doesn't really matter who it is. Unfortunately the only advice I can think of is to just be patient. Maybe when she gets better it will be a little different. Or maybe you can have a talk with your grandmother about taking her medicine and eating to get better?
From my experience, the elderly like to feel like useful and needed so if you can go along the lines of "grandma please do what your supposed to for you health because I'm worried" it might help.
nayrt but do you really think that only one girl on this website has issues with her weight? You're in for a huge surprise.
Also, this is a venting thread. No one needs to care or even respond. I don't really understand how posting on an anonymous Mongolian basketweaving forum, literally screaming into the void, is attention seeking.
If you really have an issue with people complaining about their lives then why are you in this thread?
Yeah, you are right too, anon. I need motivation to stay focused and do the work, tho. I am so unmotivated like, fuck. And when I said that to my mom she brushed it off, like "No you're not" (because I only show her my happy side), which actually made me even sadder. I'll go to the advice thread later to ask for help to study/work better.
Thanks for replying tho, I really appreciate it.
Obviously they aren't the only one bothered by their weight but making an incredibly obvious attempt at fishing for anyone to go 'nawwwwww but you poor bby you're so thin'
Nobody venting creates a setup begging for validation of their boring peusdo-anorexia melodrama. Everyone knows that 115 lbs is perfectly average unless she's a midget or tall. Why feed their desperation for validation? They aren't special for struggling a little or being normally sized. They need to learn to validate themselves and grow up not get coddled online because they have a minor problem.
Motivation is a fleeting whore and you don't need it. Motivation isn't consistent or reliable or useful for anything other than a creative burst.
You need to cultivate self discipline and you do it by forcing yourself to do the work that you hate to earn the satisfaction of completing it and doing it well. Force yourself once and you'll find it easier the next time because you've had a taste of genuine achievement.
It's super hard but if you keep telling yourself it's too hard and you're too unmotivated you'll fail. Tell yourself repeatedly the only thing stopping you is you and then get out of your own way.
Ignore the voice that says I can't be fucked, I'm tired, why bother, tomorrow, blah blah and make yourself uncomfortable.
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Not OP anon, but damn, I really needed to read this. Best advice for me right now, hope it helps the other anon too. You're 100% correct. Just gotta do it, even if I don't have the energy or will power.
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Moved abroad a year ago and the in-laws are visiting and they're driving me crazy. I think I'm just being melodramatic but every day spent with them is so taxing and exhausting and I secretly can't wait for them to leave. I care about them and I'm happy for my husband because he gets to see his parents after a year apart, but I just wanna rip my hair out at this point.
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I was in a "nerd" group two years ago, made some good friends I hang out irl and then got the fuck out of there because a lot of them, grown up men in their twenties, literally had a private chat where they spent their time gossiping about members of the group. Also, being one of the first and few girls of the group, looking "normie" and being somehow attractive, despite avoiding attention and just staying in my chill spot, some of those guys were and are still obsessed with me. Also, them being just a more clean version of a neckbeard, flirt with just every slightly attractive girl who comes in the group, and when rejected start ganging up on them. Those creeps took my rejection really badly, hate my guts but pretend to be nice to me.
One of them is the nerd Onision: an absolute narc, arrogant, thinks he's always right and smarter and more talented than everyone, thinks he's a special snowflake for playing chess and reading french comics than nobody knows. He also has a Lainey: an underaged, bland, shy girl he's in a LDR with because girls his age run away from his creepyness. He also flirts with other girls, even in front of her, and gets rejected every time because the only one who could ever tolerate to touch him with a ten foot pole and deal with his NPD is a spineless underaged girl with no personality.
I had him in my friendlist because we were supposed to be in good terms, turns out that he's still shittalking me in that private chat and keeping up with my life (or the little I share on fb). This time he's salty because I'm writing for a website, so he goes on saying that "I can't write and I'm talentless" - despite everyone else saying the opposite - just because he writes for a website too. What a sad, insecure, pathetic little pedo man. I'm so sick of this high school tier drama, so I'm going to confront him and cut ties forever. I will never be in a nerd community again. What a bunch of pathetic losers.
you should tell him all of this. complete, sincere communication is even more important in long distance relationships. if he's invested in your relationship and cares about you 100% he would want to know that this bothers you.
i had a similar conversation with my LDR bf. it's no longer a problem. communicate, people
I'm at the point in my life where Im just starting out pretty much, I desperately wanna get my own place, get a job, sell my eggs to pay for plastic surgery and cannot do that with my parents in the way, which yeah I'm trying to get a job and split a place with a few friends and all but my family is the most aggravating and time wasting
Lets start with my grandma, a local trade school here was holding an event, my grandma heard about it, and gathered all the family to go to an event that was supposed to benefit and help me, the only person going to school soon, which makes no sense but they made me go despite me telling them i don't wanna and they tell me "oh you might see something you like there" and while i see my fellow classmates walk around by themselves or with 1 person,here i am walking around with my family for no, fucking, reason at all they needed to come, just to have them later tell me i should go to a regular uni and not a trade school, wasting my time and embarassment
Second thing that bothers me is the fact they name me this weird foreign name, im not gonna say what it is, buts it's one of those Russian ones that sound like an american name with a twist on it, you know which ones im talking about
But they call me by my middle name which is fine, but they constantly scream it in public to get my attention which is embarassing because when they do it I have all these people come up to me and say "ooo your name is ___ i thought it was ___" youd think they go by what I wanna go by, and not by what they wanna call me which is embarassing because of my social anxiety and how judgemental people are here, usually i wouldn't care but people here make a huge deal i don't get called by my first name, even though i prefer it
3rd, back to my grandma, she is fucking making me do everything, like she will read about a class in the paper that isn't relevant to anything i wanna do, tell me about it then act hurt when i don't wanna do it, which guilts me into doing more things i dont wanna and wasting my time and if i deny my family sees me as some monster,like there will be an event at church where they listen to a new song and she will make a huge deal and make me come, she almost made me come watch the choir practice, which makes no sense to waste my time and watch plus i had plans with friends
She constantly asks me stupid shit about getting into the local uni here, im not a student here yet i don't even wanna be a student… I use to be on the basketball team all my life and out of nowhere she comes up to me, knowing I'm not a student and said "did you see about joining the basketball team" like youd think it would be common fucking sense you cant drive up to a random school and ask to join a sports team etc etc, i have so many problems in my life and wanted to vent about that,my other problems are being handled as it is
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confront them and come back and tell us anonbring photos, films, recordings, receipts
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I thought my bf was asking me if I wanted to go to a concert next week, which I usually can't because nobody ever wants to pick up my shift at my job.
So I told him to go ahead and buy the tickets for himself and friends.
I guess he actually meant that the concert is tomorrow, which I theoretically could go to because I called off work sick. But I only found that out because he posted about the concert to fb and now it seems a little too late to beg to tag along.
Additionally, I do legitimately feel punky and it would look bad on my part to post on social media about concert going when I'm supposed to be at home sick.
So, idk, realistically I couldn't have gone regardless but it still feels bad being left out of things. I don't remember the last time I did something legitimately fun like that.
Feels like I work for the weekend, since I have such a useless weekday schedule, and even on my weekends I mostly do nothing.
>will probably see if bf can buy me a band shirt at least, he had no interest in these bands until I introduced him
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Speaking from experience, love tends to happen when you least expect it. Just live your life, have fun, and enjoy yourself/friends/family. People tend to feed of positive energy…well, at least the type of people you want to be in a relationship with. Eventually it's just going to happen and you won't even realize it.
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>>197976>someday my prince will come
princesses where visited by princes because the princesses were known. They are in a way famous and popular. Public figures. And because you automatically get some kind of ennoblement.
Since youre not a princess, nobody knows you're sitting in your small town. It reminds me of a TED talk of a woman who said she "highjacked" dating and figured out that even in Philadelphia a population of 1.5 million people, there would actually be only 35 men who would fit her requirements (image related).
This doesnt have to be necessarily be true and it's regarding what you expect, but think it might be about right.
>to be afraid of men and to stay away from them.
Well, I hope you do see the connection.
Im my personal experience you fall in love with people you meet and learn to know. Love at first sight is rather seldom.
I feel you. I have this too. It especially bothered me when I was in middle/high school because every other girl had a flat crotch. I thought maybe I was a fat fuck, but the thinner I got, the more pronounced it was.
Guys I've spoken to say the feature is not unattractive and can even be cute/sexy, so that made me feel (slightly) less disgusted with myself. I carefully pick out my pants and swimsuit bottoms so I don't unwittingly draw unwanted attention to my crotch. Only so much we can do, though.
a lot of men are into puffy pussies especially on slim women.
Only because theyre not depictured in porn and such, doesnt mean men dont like it.
thank you i dont feel so alone now anon!!>>197987>>197988>>197992
I never knew it had a name!
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I did it right away because I was mad. I knew that group is full of salty losers, but I keep in my contacts the ones that (supposedly) aren't. Our interactions have always been friendly, I've never done anything to him, and he turns out to be this doublefaced and catty? Enough.
At first he said stuff like "B-But I didn't, who told you that" because he didn't know I have receipts. Showed him the screencaps, the three "…" typing marks go on and off for a good 4-5 minutes.
Then he finally replies. "I didn't want to be mean" yada yada. Nah dude, my "secret spy" told me everything, you always talk behind your own friends' backs and it wasn't the first time you came after me (cowardly acting as a friend in my face, obviously), so now I'm cutting you out for good. He actually tried to gaslight me, guilt trip me and say that he's my friend and loves me. It's surprising how much he has in common with Onionboy.
At last, as soon as he noticed that I was having none of his shit, and after I've told him that he sounds really insecure, he finally flipped and showed his true colors. "HAHAHAHAHAHA insecure of whaat, of youuu? I have a bright future in front of meee, [blah blah bragging about his uni grades and degree], [blah blah bragging about how he writes for a good and refined website "while I write for a shit one"], who do you think you are, there's no way a successful person like me would be insecure about you", a nice Gregsperg-tier sperg. I simply told him that confident people don't act like that (because it's true, come on, I'm not very successful but I don't have even the 10% of his levels of salt in me), that I'm sick of his child behavior and basically everything I said about him in the first post ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
And before saying goodbye I managed to manipulate him into thinking that my source is a close friend of his that even apologized to me on his behalf.
Now they're telling me that he's fighting with his friends in the private chat, to find out "who betrayed him". Needless to say, I feel sorry for his gf and I hope she wakes up soon and dumps his ass for a kind, cute guy.
My job with this asshole is done.
Since I was 13, I thought of getting a nose job, but on the other hand I am also really afraid of it. The tip of my nose is really wide and the one half is very asymmetrical. Every time I look in the mirror I think "Oh, it's not THAT bad", but when I take a selfie from the front or right side, where the nose appears super wide, it always looks absolutely hideous and if my nose is way too big for my face. (That's also why only very few fotos of me exist and on every image you can only see the left side of my face) I can't even imagine what people must think when they look at me and I honestly don't know how my bf or the few friends I have, put up with me. When I was in my teens I experimented with makeup to get the focus on my eyes and lips but when I do it, I always feel guilty of wearing a mask, because I have soemthing to hide.
I didn't told anyone about it and I am so ashamed that I think like that on a daily basis. I am very sure that I will get plastic surgery, when I am out of uni and can afford it, I just can't see myself living with this ugly, hideous thing.
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>all your friends inherit houses, land and money from their parents/grandparents
>you only get debt
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I feel it >high school classmates are all in real estate or insurance because of their parents>still trying to do college in my mid-twenties while working retail and living with my parents like a neckbeard
dude I feel you, I don't wanna seem like some redpilled psycho but here a lot of people will easily get jobs, apartments, get into uni easier, etc if they're not white, I know a lot of them are smart and deserve it, but I knew a few girls from church who were honor students, good grades, never did a felony,etc etc, pretty much the average good girl who always struggled with getting jobs and getting into a uni, one girl applied to 6 unis and had 113 interviews, no job, no uni yet but the druggies who were lazy as hell, made average grades, got arrested before, etc easily got jobs and into uni, it just doesn't seem fair
sage for tinfoil
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I'm having really shitty luck as an online buyer lately and I don't know if it's due to it being summer, or if sellers are just being more irresponsible than usual.
>end of June
>decide to support seller by buying a print of her artwork instead of reposting memes of it like most people did/are doing
>got shipping notification fine
>tracking num didn't work but figured I'd give it a few days
>tracking number never worked even after a week
>still no print in the mail
>contact artist about it
>"Oh storeenvy has been garbage with incorrect tracking numbers you're not the first, tell me if you don't get it in a few days so I can talk to postal service."
Like…why continue to use storeenvy then?
It's been more than a few days since the deadline but I have to check my apartment complex's office just to be sure the postal worker didn't deliver it inside before I message back.
>also end of June
>ordered a set and a single of a product
>NOTHING was backordered when I placed my order
>two days later, receive notification that single product shipped but not the set
>because they decided a few days later to list a backorder on my set
>obv it wasn't on backorder at the time or else I'd have not ordered it!
>their website says they'd wait to ship items together when something is backordered to 'be green'
>well no, because they shipped my individual
>which I take as a bad sign because it means they probably won't fulfill that backorder for a significant amount of time
>the single product is useless without the set
So this company basically gets to sit on $50 for almost a month now without notifying me, or at least letting me know when they'd get more of the set. They kind of just expect their customers to be stupid and not ask I guess, I left a comment with my order number on their company fb page so maybe that might get a result.
I ordered something a few days ago from a UK clothing store and I still haven't received a shipping notification, despite paying extra for better shipping. At this rate, it will get here at the same rate of the free shipping assuming they had followed their own shipping policy!
What the fuck is happening.
Why does no one have their shit together?
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Yep, my building's pretty much a refugee camp now. I don't mind the actual students who come here for their Master's or whatever, they're great craic and I really couldn't give less of a fuck about Sanjay Patel and Dong Quang playing table tennis and drinking on a Saturday evening, but we also get actual middle-aged families nowadays who leave their buggies in the stairway with the screaming brat still inside, hog the hot press/launderette (like I described above), let their kids piss by the entrance and god knows what else. None of them look all that young and I highly doubt any of them work or go to college, so I don't know who let them in in the first place.
I'll forever be jealous of my classmate who got the quiet Indian for a next-door neighbour, his gaff always smells so nice and I've got a pack of rowdy Africans who burn things at 4 in the morning.
The Purge can't come fast enough.
I'm really hoping the artist didn't scam you anon
I hope all your mail gets to you safely!
The good news is that it was there when I checked at my office, so huzzah for that! >>198107
If they don't respond to me I'll start a paypal claim. Which sucks, because I didn't have problems with them up until this point.
They got popular really fast, so maybe they're overwhelmed with orders…but that's not my problem tho.
>>198120>but I can't name you the rule or explain why one is using tense x instead of y
It's funny because most native speakers can't either, kek.
Your grammar seems fairly good to me anon. If native English speakers are giving you shit over an honest try, they're likely insecure themselves. My second language is Spanish but I probably couldn't type a full paragraph on the spot without any errors either. No less write in my own voice without relying on formulaic sentence structures I learned from school.
It'll be okay. I have faith in you!
Fellow not native Eng speaker here. Can write pretty good, can understand written English even better, but irl speak and pronounce need a looooot of work. Also:>I can use certain tenses just fine but I can't name you the rule or explain why one is using tense x instead of y
Same. But take note that most native speakers can't either, and that theory is not really important unless you're using English for academical purposes (for ex. teaching it). No one comes at you irl and asks you "Hey, tell me tense X".
And at last, it sounds like you haven't been in that English speaking country for long. You will improve dramatically in a year or less. Just keep interacting with natives.
Native English speaker here:
I don't know what the fuck I'm saying most of the time, let alone which tense I'm using. Sometimes (when I'm angry) I say really weird shit that comes out in jumbled sentences that don't make any sense. People still get me.
Don't worry about it too much, especially if you live in the UK. They're just a bit too obsessed with accents, it's the only thing they've left, after all.
Always remember that you speak one more language than they do.
I'd never have even guessed you weren't a native speaker from your post. most of us can't tell you the rules of English because they're so stupidly complicated and contradictory.
Seems like people are being picky with you if you speak as well as you write in English. >>198135
well obviously don't starve yourself just eat fewer calories than you're burning. Duh. Eating too much is the only way you get fat so obviously eating less is the way to lose weight.
Thanks anon. They aren't really giving me shit for it I guess. Sometimes they are just really rude when I'm struggling by just changing the topic.
It's just me being stupid I guess.>>198130
The thing is I lived here for a year already I guess since my time here is coming to an end I just expected more changes in my English.
Accent wise as well as my vocabulary.
I guess they can't tell what country I'm from by my accent unless I tell them, but it still sucks that they can pick my accent out at all by listening to me for just a second.
Anyways thanks anon.
I guess I'm just jealous of the people who used to be in my class. They could name everything while I just couldn't.>>198131
I live in the US. But my coworkers told me that people here are also crazy over accents so I guess that' why they are pointing it out.
And yeah that's the only thing that sometimes makes me feel better especially here in the US where you might learn Spanish in school but no one actually uses it.>>198143
Thanks anon that cheers me up!
I wish I was normal and not someone always going through anxiety and panic attacks.
I have been having extreme panic attacks about death and not existing. Just got over this in January and started again a few days ago. I can't sleep, I stop eating, I cry a lot, etc. Therapy and medication hasn't helped. I wish I could understand how others live their lives without this crippling fear, I hate going through this so much. I'll be 30 in November, I worry once I get over this, it will come back around birthday. Time seems to fly by so fast, felt like I just turned 29. I feel like in the blink of an eye, I'll be old and on my deathbed. I'm not religious, I don't believe in an afterlife. I wish I did but I can't accept it, it would always be in the back of my mind that it's not true. I'm trying to have faith in radical life extension but I do worry that I'll be too old/dead by the time it becomes fully effective.
I just feel so angry and sad right now, I wish could live my life normally without feeling this way.
I feel like my life completely halted in 2013.
I had friends, a bright future, was dating hot guys, and enjoying life. After I graduated college and moved back to the U.S., I lost everything. Suddenly my health (physical and mental) plummeted and I gained 40 pounds. Before I knew it, 4 years had passed.
I'm trying to move forward, but am deeply depressed despite being prescribed a high dose of antidepressants. I look at my old friends and classmates from that time period's FB profiles, and most of their lives seem to have come to a standstill at a similar point in time. No or few updates at all to their profiles. I'm too embarrassed to contact anyone. I've had a few old friends from high school contact me, but I was too embarrassed to reply, except to one person. I replied, and never got a response back. It makes me more depressed thinking they may be feeling the same way as me.
I'm trying to get out of this "funk" and go back to the way things used to be, but it's hard. I'm moving abroad in 2 months to get a graduate degree, and hope that will jumpstart things for me. Right now I spend most of my time laying in bed avoiding life, and feeling like crying. I joined a couple internet forums I used to be an active member of, but I'm not sure if it's just me or if life has changed so drastically…because the vibrancy is gone. Everyone I used to chat with on the forums have disappeared. I don't even know why I come to lolcow anymore (habit? it's the best option for likeminded people?). All the milk has dried up, most farmers are just bitter and miserable like myself.
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Oh my fucking god
I love my boyfriend but he is such a fucking child sometimes!
It was around 12 AM last night, and he had been on the couch, sleeping while sitting up, for two hours. I tried to wake him up a few times, but he kept making the same sad pitiful face before closing his eyes again. He wanted me to wake him up, so now I have to fucking constantly try and nudge him awake without getting angry at him for falling back asleep. We just ate a bunch of fried chicken like pigs and watched Seinfeld. Then he got mad that he was falling asleep to Seinfeld. Then fell back asleep. So I got up and brushed my teeth. He woke up again and asked me what time it was. I told him it was late and I was going to bed, because I have to fucking get up in the morning. Cue him getting pissed off and slamming things around, huffing and hurriedly searching for things on the XBOX to do or watch or something.
So I just laid in bed and ignored it. I put a pillow over my head and ignored it. He just got angry and impulsively decided to buy cigarettes, but then sat in the living room and moped before going to bed.
God, just grow the fuck up. I'm sick of all his fucking attachment issues. I want to scream. Like, he can't be 20 feet away from me (not even) in the bedroom and enjoy a TV show by himself in the living room.
We walked around all day yesterday after I got home from work, and at 8 PM he was like "We don't have enough weed for tomorrow, do you want to get weed tonight?"
No, I don't fucking want to get weed tonight after leaving the house 3 separate times to grab things, I just want to sit down and find some motivation to do something besides sit on the computer all day. I said no, I don't want to. Instead of going, oh okay, I'll go by myself, he gets all pouty and dejectedly tells me he'll wait 'till tomorrow. Guess who changed her mind so he wouldn't fucking pout all night!
The most annoying part is how he can't just be like "I know I have issues. I'm sorry I get upset when you don't want to do something with me." and leave it at that. He has to tell me WHY he has them, even though I KNOW WHY, and he's told me several times before when a similar situation has occurred.
I don't think he understands that I will leave him if he keeps this up. If I feel like I have to do go everywhere and do everything with him to maintain his positive mood, I'm going to fucking leave. The only thing that's stopped me from breaking up with him a few times is going to pound a few drinks at a pizza bar without him.
Fuck me, why the fuck do I always fall in love with man children? I have serious problems.
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My boyfriend just spent the day consoling his ex-girlfriend after her long-term boyfriend dumped her. He took her out to eat, and took her to a clinic (even making an appointment for her), and spent hours at her house.
They've been friends for longer than we've been dating, but I still hate it? I trust him, but he does this kind of stuff all the time without considering how it would make me feel. I think because I'm usually so chill with everything, he doesn't see a problem. I've mentioned it casually, but sometime's I think he's a little retarded when it comes to social norms.
Am I being unreasonably jealous? He's not the cheating type, but it still feels bad he's spending his time (and emotional energy) on another woman.
Yeah… I had a mutual friend tell me I was overreacting the last time (he had lunch with another ex's kid), so now I question myself about it.
I don't want to be the girl whose like "no females", but it's getting to me.
Glad to hear that I'm not being totally crazy about this though.
Spending lunch with an ex's kid sounds like he's a nice guy to a fault where he wants to help out all his exes just because he cared about them once.
If it bothers you, talk to him in a serious way? How is that so hard.
Yeah, that's my gut feeling.
It feels so hard because I don't want to be so jealous if he's truly just trying to be a good friend. Jealousy ruined my parents relationship.
I'll put on some big-girl panties and bring it up tonight. Guess I'll keep you all posted if anything comes of it.
If a situation bothers you, you should bring it up in a serious manner from the start. Guys are oblivious and can't take a hint. If you're not firm on the details or intentions, don't worry about being X kind of person until you're 100% sure of the details.
If you still feel jealous about it, it's not a bad thing. Different people have different sets of boundaries. It's not the worst thing in the word to expect your SO to restrain himself from being too friendly with his exes.
honestly, him being so close to his exes still is a red flag for me, even if his intentions are good. he's juggling multiple women as if he's still in some significant relationship with him, without any regard to the one he's currently with.
My bf is sort of like this (used to be anyway?), in the sense that he doesn't understand when he crosses emotional boundaries with his female friends and that it's downright inappropriate to do.
I tried to be understanding at first because he just had a lot of female friends, and we had so many mutual friends that I would've known before if he were a cheater.
He invited a female friend to stay at our apartment once, lied to me about how long she was staying for, and went out to do fun shit (datey stuff like trips to the museum and showing her the sites) while I got to go to work. Whenever I'd ask to go on dates, he'd bring up money as a reason not to. I gave him an ultimatum after he treated me that way and told him if he didn't start treating me better, that we were over.
It worked pretty good.
If you want to make this work anon, then you have to nip this in the bud before he thinks this is acceptable.
It's not fucking acceptable.
No man or woman would defend you if you spent your entire day helping a nice Tyrone. People would suspect you and call you a slut. Don't let guys get free passes for questionable behavior.
Good luck, and don't let him step on you. Remember that he's in a relationship and the stuff he's doing isn't normal. Be firm. Update us tomorrow, if you want to of course >>198249>Guys are oblivious and can't take a hint
I have to disagree on this. I hear a lot of girls saying this to excuse poor behavior from men, but truly, they are perfectly capable of understand what's going on. My goldfish is oblivious and can't take a hint, a guy isn't.
That's probably true. I meant more that if you bring up an issue in a joking way, people (guys) won't really get that it truly bothers you unless you actually make it clear.
Goldfish aren't the only beings that can be oblivious.
I do not really know how to describe it, but lately I remember many moments from my early childhood. For example, I went to a store today and stood in front of a huge poster. On the poster was a city at night, I could see every small, brightly lit window in the big skyskrapers & in the background of the store ran some weird kind of Deep House mix.
This reminded me of a night when my father and I drove home after visiting my cousin. There played a similar kind of music in the radio and I was happy because my brother wasn't there so I was allowed to sit in the passenger seat next to my father.
I saw the well lit city pass by in the window next to me, and when I looked with half-closed eyes at the front, the lights of the passing cars looked like stars. I felt sad when remembered this, because it made me realize that I am now grown up, and my father will not be there anymore in a few decades. I do not know why, but pictures of cities at night make me sad, I associate them with transience. Anyone else here who is experiencing similar stuff?
I just really needed to get this off my chest, sorry for my bad english.
This sounds like my mother she is the same and I hate it so much.
I just want to scream when she does that. Funny thing is whenever I do something """"loud"""" she fucking screams at me for being too loud when I make dinner or whatever because her fatass needs to watch TV.
It really does feel humiliating doesn't it?
Like, not even a call-back for a position I'm overly qualified for is a brand new sort of rejection and idk how to take it.
It's been 6 months and nothing. Hope you get some good news and a steady job soon anon
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Started calorie counting, didn't know it felt so good. I got help from a friend, which is good, but I keep having my ED tendencies, my calorie intake is at 1.4k but I only go up to .5k or .6k
I feel like nothing has changed other than instead of puking a lot, I just eat way less than I should.
I understand but you need to take this seriously. Or you're going to die. Men are strong and one blow the wrong way CAN kill you.
I don't mean to be mean but CALL THE POLICE ! they can help you they'll throw him out and you'll keep all his shit too.
Try to ask them to play something different.
Make it less awkward by only telling one person pretty sure they will help you to change the game.
Don't do this.
Like funerals, going away parties are not for those who depart, but for those who stay behind.
Think, how would you like you to be remembered? You know the importance of first impression. You are about to learn the importance of last impression.
just thinking about killing myself, not seriously, but I think about it like a wandering thought sometimes when I'm stressed.
i just want to leave everybody behind and be alone, but I know that's a bad idea, but I just want to be alone. i never feel satisfied with anything, can't focus on anything for more than a few minutes, i have a fucking mental problem. i am a failure. i don't mean anything in this world, i am nothing. usually nihilism is comforting but I feel despondent and frustrated. nobody gives a shit, nobody cares. i'm an annoying human being. the only reason i can't kill myself is hurting people that love me, thus proving how hypocritical it would be for me to be upset that i feel surrounded by apathy, but then kill myself and hurt others. that's why i just want to disappear. i just want to disappear. there is nothing to talk about. I am a failure, in a dead end job, and i am certain i will go nowhere, and i'm not even 25. i sound like a huge pussy because i am one.
anon, i can't explain how much i relate to you right now.
the only reason i haven't killed myself is the fact that my parents and siblings would be devastated. my dogs and cat wouldn't know where i went, but they'd know something was wrong.
>>198478>i don't mean anything in this world, i am nothing. nobody gives a shit, nobody cares>the only reason i can't kill myself is hurting people that love me
I thought "love" included caring about someone.
If you're feeling right now so bad that you want to die, suffering that greatly, and yet no one cares as you said, why would they care differently when you died. At least now they could do something about it.
Maybe they'd feel bad when you died, but that's about them, not about you, I don't see how it's loving someone. Dunno fam that just sounds weird to me
There is noone you must please. There is nothing you must do.
It's just a ride, this life. Relax. Breathe. Stop and smell the roses.
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>>bf always spends money on shit, spent thousands on useless and degenerate crap when we were broken up in 2016
>>get back together with him, we're both super happy
>>Bf loses job
>>Looks desperately for a new job
>>Bf decides to propose anyways
>>Bf says engagement ring is expensive even though I genuinely wouldn't care if it's expensive or not because I love him
>>Ring has to be adjusted
>>Finds out at jewelry store that engagement ring is not that expensive
>>It's actually pretty cheap for an engagement ring
Why lie? He's unemployed and decided to propose anyways because we're both super happy to be together, things are great again, our age is nice for marriage and all of that… But why lie? Does he think I'm very materialistic? I wouldn't even be with him if I was. He's looking for a job, I don't need anything expensive. Fuck. Now I am bitter and sad that he lied, not to mention thinking about the money he spent on gross CRAP and TRASH last year. Kill me.
The worst part of this is that I really don't want to confront him because I know he had good intentions, but… Ugh.
Like you said he had good intentions. You shouldn't "confront" him about it because that sounds like you'll tell him he made a mistake and berate him or whatever. Tell him that you appreciate the sentiment and that he tried to make you feel good with the ring but that there's no need for that kind of materialism between the two of you
Also consider that he might have been lied to whereever he got the ring, if it isn't the same place you had it refitted.
dont fall for that, anon.
the cow made a self post on PULL and now wants to make it seem like it was a vendetta post.
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I've noticed I have a pattern of becoming extremely infatuated with attractive guys that are A.) in positions meant to teach/help me B.) impossible to develop anything further relationship with.
i.e. Professor, waiter at a high class restaurant (who put a lobster decorated bib on me for my dinner; oh god it was adorable, I swear the sexual tension was like a blanket) and most recently, my personal trainer.
Thing is I'd never consider making a move considering how inappropriate that'd be and part of me knows I only desire them for the impossible fantasy, once I actually knew them as people it'd likely fall apart. I have a good relationship with my pops, I'm not insecure and I have a bf that's very attentive/caring. What's up with this subconscious part of my self that's continually seeking men in these positions? Am some sort of idealist romantic or do I need more self validation than I thought? Gah… I want these pointless infatuations to stop (but I also don't)
td;dr I'm a big idiot
late reply so you probably won't see this but me too, anon.
in HS i transferred to a big public school because i wanted friends. i was ostracized at my old school for being into music like metallica, iron maiden, anthrax, etc.. At my new school there were kids like me and i was so excited, but they had all grown up together and hated me for no reason. i had always been a girly girl and loved makeup, skirts, etc.. apparently because i had long hair and wore miniskirts i was a fake fan.
i ended up going to concerts alone (i had always dreamt of going with friends). i eventually saved up enough sick days at school and skipped a whole week so i could follow metallica on tour around my state. it was fun, but i kinda wish i had someone with me.
i did end up meeting lars ulrich at an art museum, which was cool.
now im in college and im having the same problem i did in HS basically. especially now with band shirts being in trend, everyone assumes a put together girl is a poser. i'm not saying i'm model levels of beauty but i do take care of myself. i thought this stupid way of thinking would stop in college, but apparently not.
sorry for the rant, i'm just tired of being lonely. i want someone to share my passion with :(
I actually did contact her and it got removed because the IP addresses are different so she said it was obviously a vendetta (my friend had multiple posts over the past few months, i'm assuming all from her apartment about 2hr away from me so I obviously wasn't using a VPN or whatever). it was really stressful though, I thought the falling out had been pretty calm but I guess not. i think she's embarrassed about it now (i noticed she quickly blocked me on everything after the thread was taken down).
crazy sucks, especially when you don't know they're crazy until it happens to you.
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>watch romance anime or read a manga
>spend two to three days moping and depressed because I'll never have someone that loves me in my life
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My brother is going to grow up to be a good for nothing mamas boy and it infuriates me. He is 12 and can't even use a knife and fork bc my mom has always cut his food for him. He is allowed to scream and swear and play video games all day, if I did that shit at his age I would have gotten the shit kicked out of me. And if I dare say anything, she'll respond with "well when you were younger you were like that as well". Yeah, when I was 3. Why tf are you comparing the behaviour of a 3 year old with the behaviour of a spoiled rotten 1w year old? The worst part is that my mother has constantly complained that her brothers were spoiled and that she had a hard time, so why tf are she doing the same shit herself?
Ever since I've come back to my parents' (my mom's) home after college I've been having crazy breakouts, headaches, and frequent nightmares. My mom has untreated mental issues (don't want to armchair, but probably bipolar and narc) and has abused me since childhood. I love her, but she only ever says hurtful things to me, that if she dies I won't cry, that I don't love anyone, projects a lot of her bad features on me, calls me every sort of name, is frequently mad at me for the stupidest reasons, will beat the fuck out of me if I ever dare to move the slightest critic in her direction and has overall denied me the development of a self esteem which has caused me a lot of problems I'm working on. Thing is, we're also dirt poor and where I live finding a job is like finding the holy grail, and IF you find one you get paid like 400-500 monthly. This way, there's no way I could move out. But I NEED to move out, because this situation is taking its toll on me and I've had the first suicidal thoughts since teenage years. I feel legit trapped in a hopeless situation. I just need money and a therapist. Why do people with crippling mental issues have kids and why nobody stops them?
odds are she's picking up familiar behavior from her parents in the way that they treated her brothers. i hate to say it anon, but you need to step in even if your mother doesn't like it.
there's nothing wrong with being a mama's boy (being respectful to women, a little less hopped up on masculinity) but being CODDLED at 12 years old is an issue.
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so, idk how i even made it this far. i'm doing an internship abroad, and my social anxiety is at an all time high.
i feel awful and alone most of the day because the time difference is getting in the way of me talking to my best friend and bf, and i know i need to try to make friends here instead of relying on talking to them to make me feel better, but i don't feel like my language skills are good enough. that, and the people living in my building already have friends from their own countries, so it's easier for them to speak with them… so i just sit in my room for hours and i'm wasting time here waiting for the days to pass so i can just go back home, when i should be doing cool things, but i can't bring myself to do anything by myself or talk to anyone. one of those dumb vicious cycle things
i also hate the place i'm interning at, it's really stressful for me to work at the reception desk (in addition to other shit) because i'm not fluent, and i've had people get mad at me for not understanding them which just makes me want to kill myself. plus everyone probably thinks i'm fucking retarded because i get so nervous when i speak that i stutter and talk quietly. i feel so useless at this job, having to ask them to repeat themselves is just so embarrassing for me and it makes me want to die
the internship is unpaid, too, so i feel like i'm doing this for nothing, not even improving my language skills, while destroying my mental and emotional health even further. the only good thing is that i'm losing weight, mostly because i'm not eating, but at least i'm starting to look nicer in my clothes
Where are you, anon? I know this sounds silly, but sometimes some anons from the area/country could be willing to be friends with you, even if it's just online. I know i would!
But anyway, I am sorry about your experience. Not even getting paid tho? How do you live where you are?
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I was chilling in my room with the windows open late at night, when a group of 2 boys passed by talking and laughing very quietly about something. I started listening on their conversation because i'm nosy.
To my surprise, they were talking about a passed out girl they raped tonight and laughing about it and saying how she didn't wake up at all and how "good it felt fucking her when she was asleep".
I didn't know what to do so i looked out the windows to see what they looked like but they were already turning a corner and getting in their car, and i wasn't able to catch their faces or clothes at all since it was very dark.
I don't know if i could've done something about it, but i feel horrible for knowing this and not being able to help the girl or report those bastards, i just wish i could do something with this information to help the victim in some way instead of being useless.
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hi anon, thanks for the kind words! i really appreciate it.
i'm in southwestern germany right now. living arrangements were provided by the place i'm interning at, and the only thing i have to pay for is my own food. it's a nice setup honestly, and the area is really gorgeous, but i'm such a sperg and can't take proper advantage of it lol.
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Been suffering with the depress for ages. Lately I have been getting worse and worse and seriously considering an hero and with additional weight gain due to comfort eating I feel 10x worse. Feel like my friends are getting sick of hearing it, I turn to my mother hoping for a shoulder to cry on and support. She expresses how bad I am for telling her how I felt and how I should have kept it to myself and that she wouldn't have told her own mother and would have pretended she was okay (even though I told her I feel like kms), and that now I've made her feel bad and why don't I tell my friends instead and not her and that I make her feel depressed etc. Now hiding upstairs crying. I was only visiting her for the weekend, want to go home but I feel more an hero than before now. Sighhh
I would have ran outside gone in my car followed them and run them over. Or you could pull up to them say you're looking to have fun (fucking vomit) and exchanged phone numbers give it to the police.
Damn tho where do you live? Here in LA guys most guys are so damn dorky and passive they would never do that. Or if they did I wouldn't believe that. Sounds like a fantasy
Aww anon, it's not your fault. Even if you saw their faces you wouldn't know their names, or the name of the raped girl… If
she files a report. And even then, the two assholes could always claim they were drunk too, or something like that. It's terrible, but most guys get away with raping drunk/unconscious girls all the time sadly.>>198667
That's cool! You could open Tinder and find a cute, friendly guy who speaks English. You go out, he could show you the city, even introduce you to his group of friends. As weird as it could seem, Tinder is often the best way to make friends when you're new in town.
Dude I'm in the same position right now but I'm in the US.
It was the worst year of my life really.
Anyways I'm going back to Germany in a month again you wanna switch out contacts ? I think I pretty much know how you feel so that might help.
I'm the anon from >>198641
and I completely understand what you're going through. No one cares to listen unless it benefits them or their needs, and scoff at you like you're annoying for being depressed and wanting someone to be there for you.
If it means anything, I think you deserve to be heard and your feelings are valid anon.
can you use tinder for just friends? i wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong idea lol. sorry i'm kinda dumb when it comes to those sorts of apps lol, but thank you for the advice. i will probably do this. >>198673
hey anon, we can talk if you'd like! i also only have a month left here, too. do you use discord, whatsapp, usw?
I got whats app wouldn't want to post my number on here though for obvious reasons
Anyways I put a throw away mail adress in the email field feel free to send me a mail and we can exchange whats app numbers!
This is an awful situation anon, and I am sorry. But really, it's not your fault. Please, don't carry the guilt over your shoulders like that because it's only going to stress you out. But it really shows how you are a good person.
Let's hope the girl is doind fine.
Where is the father? Your mother should realize that when your brother grows up and realizes how your mother robed him of becoming an adjusted individual, he will hate her for that.
I started cooking my own meals at age 10 and still sometimes hate my mother for teaching me to not stand up to bullies, but to just ignore them.
Bad parents piss me off so bad.
Maybe you shouldn't count other peoples money as if they owe you.>>198554
How old are you? Tbh it sounds like he was just drunk-horny. Luckily you didn't go with him because you'd have just ended up hurt.
Imo it's best to forget about it's especially if he hasn't messaged you since. Sorry
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I'm upset because my boyfriend tries too hard to do nice things and be friends with this flakey dumbass obeast dude who's spoiled rotten and it really messed things up insofar as being able to go to a concert with my bf.
Story is bf bought concert tickets for him and friend. The concert is tomorrow, but asshole friend decides to tell him tonight (less than 24 hours) that he isn't going.
I can't just go in his place because my job is inflexible as fuck. It didn't used to be, but now it is.
I'm scheduled 1pm-11pm and the concert starts at 7pm. Nobody ever picks up hours, and I'm trying to get into a fb group right now called 'incentives' where you basically pay someone under the table to take your hours. It's double pay.
I have five days of floating vacation time (not counting the two weeks I scheduled in September), but apparently I can't use them because I needed to have submitted the request for it last monday,
Which is an extreme amount of bullshit.
I can't take a sick day.
So, fuck me I guess. If that stupid ass fat fuck would have told us he couldn't go like two days ago my chances would've been better, but almost nobody ever picks up the day before. Fuck that dickweed.
I feel like this would be me if I were in that situation lol. I always feel guilt for dumb reasons and from an outside perspective, I think you should just forget about it.
As for me venting,
I told this guy I really, really liked that I don't want to do anything else unless I know it's going in a good direction, and just wanted to see where it would go. He started being distant, which I just thought he was busy, then he made a sugarcoated excuse (which also had to do with him being too busy, specifically with making music) for why he didn't want a relationship or anything, and still said he wanted to be friends. I realized after he said that to me that he just meant he realized he didn't like me that way, he confirmed, I chewed him out a bit over text and made sure he understood that he was the one that initiated most of it, to delete the nudes I sent him, and that I can't be friends after that and apologized and that was that.
I'm still friends with him on facebook, plus
he is roommates with my very close friends. Most of the reason why I don't want to be friends with him was because I got such strong feelings for him so fast and it wouldn't be worth the hurting.
I want to do things to try to get him to regret what he did but I know in the back of my head that its pointless. I never met someone that I clicked so well with, guys.
I know the feel anon, that used to be the story of my life - I'm actually the anon u replied to so let me tell u one thing - they always come back around and regret not giving u a chance when they could ;)
However for most boys or ex's the best "revenge" is honestly just doing you and appearing better than ever. It's not to say "look super hot!!" But look like you're enjoying life, and are completely unphazed (even tho inside that's it the case lol)
I know it's tough to just get over it, but you just gotta fake it until you make it. If he comes back around or tries to chat with u even as friends don't dive on in and pour your heart out to him, don't make any sad type statuses or guilt trippy posts because it's fills their ego to know that u can't move on. However, when you're happy and enjoying life without them it like triggers
something within them and makes them want a part of that again! And who knows a while you're busy showing him ur better off without him, maybe you'll start to believe that yourself so by the time he comes around and tries to hit u up again you won't even want it anymore!
Thanks so much anon!! This is what I keep telling myself. I agree, they always regret it. I have a feeling he will so I'm trying so hard to act like I don't care. He loves music and art as much as I do, he is more into music, but he draws just to draw sometimes. But now I'm getting really buried into my art and posting it on social media, which I wanted to do anyway, but it's making me even more focused and its a plus that I can brag about it to him without directly doing anything.
He acted super into me, more than I've ever experienced, had GREAT sex, chemistry in all ways, and since we have so much in common, I really think he will realize he made a mistake. He's 25 and I'm 24 by the way.
I'm trying to do everything right, and I'm proud of myself for being the one to say that I don't want to be friends afterwards and I won't interact with him unless he initiates it, even they I will still be weary. I'll probably interact with him minimally if I see him in person.
I took a photo of your post with my phone to keep as a reminder!
I went through a similar thing at your age. I was stalked and attacked by a random stranger during broad daylight. I called police immediately afterward, but was humiliated by them (told me it was my fault for wearing a knee-length skirt rather than tight jeans…I kid you not). The creep who assaulted me wasn't arrested for a few days after attacking me, and spent the next few days standing outside my apartment threatening to kill me.
He had a few friends who would scream outside my apartment that they would kill me too, including a woman (his girlfriend?). I literally never saw or met these people ever in my life. I didn't attend any of the court proceedings (didn't want him remembering my face too well), but he still received 4 years in prison. Despite this, I became a complete recluse, and definitely considered dropping out of uni. My grades dropped and I purposely let myself go physically. After a few months, I moved abroad and immediately felt 90% better. If you can transfer to a university somewhere safer, I don't think it's such a bad idea. I had to return to the U.S. to complete my degree 1 year before my attacker was released from prison, and became incredibly suicidal after returning to where everything occurred (it happened near campus).
I've been seeing a therapist for over a year, and she has recommended I leave the country permanently for my mental health. You don't need to leave the country, obviously, but moving somewhere new might be a good idea. I've learned "coping" skills (including a 5 month self-defense course), but honestly, even my therapist said there are too many mentally ill people walking the streets in the U.S. (she's a European immigrant) so being paranoid isn't unreasonable. I'm not sure if you live here or not, but if you are a weeb of sorts then check out East Asian countries. That is where I lived 2 years, and am returning. It's incredibly liberating as someone who's been raped and sexually assaulted to live somewhere withOUT the creepy drug addicts following you in their cars, cat calling, and cussing you out or groping you etc. Sure there are creeps, but nowhere near the same level.
>>Anyway, sorry for the blogpost. Just wanted to share my story so if you can relate to any of it, maybe it will help you in the healing process and moving forward.
I'm really sorry to hear what happened to you anon!
Same here anon. I even saw a sleep specialist a couple times and had a sleep test done. Basically, he said I'm not sleeping properly because of stress. I'm not sure if you are stressed or not, but it's definitely a contributing factor for me at least. There have been a few times in my life where I slept just fine, but those were low stress times (grew up in a stressful household and spent most of my adult life with stress).
Hope your schedule gets better anon!
>>198916>Its amazing how fucked up my sleep schedule is I keep staying up 24+ hours in order to "fix" it.
I tried to do the same thing for ages. Never worked. Instead I kept shifting it forward a few hours each time until I got it to where I wanted.
I can only speak for myself but a huge factor for this was the fact I had nothing going on. If I have college and/or work that requires me to be up at 8 AM, my body will be happy with 8 hours of sleep as that's all you're supposed to need. But during vacation? I'll regularly sleep for 12-16 hours. I also know my friend was just constantly feeling tired during a bought of depression brought on from a relationship that should have been ended way earlier.
Holy fuck anon, don't do it.
You will be even more miserable. Please, go to a doctor.
How is that a helpful suggestion? What should she do while outside that will help her overcome her body issues?>>198962
I feel you too anon. I'm a 22 (soon to be 23) yeah old virgin and I'm genuinely afraid to enter a relationship because I have no confidence in my body. I've been working out a lot this year to try and overcome it, but even though I've noticed positive changes I feel like it's never going to be enough.
There's therapists outside. She could meet one and learn that thinking you're doomed to lonely loneliness because of not being 10/10 is incel tier logic.
Outside also has fewer pictures of models and other shit to sit around comparing/torturing herself with. There's activities and people and she might just develop
>>198542>"well no one can compete with fictional characters"
Yes they can, because fictional characters are fake and not real. Worse than being dead. So why yes, you can compete with fictional 2D waifu because he will literally never touch or fuck it.
And you need to get over that you will never be 'fictional' tier hot. Nobody is, naturally.
were not as healthy because we sit in on our asses everyday ranging from malnourished skeletors to fat obese whales and are ridden with mental illness.
…u guys kno its tru
I do go outside, quite often actually. It's good for distracting myself and meeting other people but that doesn't get rid of the fact that my body doesn't look good to myself or when compared to other girls. Also going outside during the summer often means going to the beach and showing a lot of skin.>>199001
The area I live in does have a lot of youthful good looking people which sucks sometimes. A lot of people here often try to become something along the lines of "Instagram models", or work for up and coming clothing companies.
So going outside just lets me distract myself from what's bothering me and let's me enjoy myself. I work out a little too with hopes to improve my body shape but was wondering if anyone else had any other ideas.
I'm shaped like a refrigerator. I am basically a thinner Kate Upton– big boobs with a nonexistent waist and ass. It's unflattering and not at all a good body shape. I'm not exaggerating anything; I really am shaped like a brick.
I have been dating the same man for two years and he is a dream. He loves my body and sees nothing wrong with it. I know you will be the same, anons. I thought I would never find someone who loves my horrible shape, but he does. You just need to find the right person.
corsetting, gaining muscle on your outer thighs help, do lots of hip abductors and get protein powder
however you shouldn't feel bad about that, beauty isn't a one way street, many of men and women think kate upton is hot as fuck
my friend actually has the same problem, big tits, shapeless everywhere else, to make her feel better I showed her a picture of kate upton and she was like "holy fuck she is so hot and she's shaped like me" just because you're not shaped like roger from american dad with huge tits doesn't make your body unattractive
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I hope this is fake, holy shit
This is absolutely heartbreaking, i grew up with linkin park and met one of my best friends thanks to them, fuck i am sad.
I really feel for his wife and children too, this are such horrible news.
Its true, mike shinoda tweeted about it on his official account.
Its a huge shame.
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Yesterday and the day before me and my bf where all cudly and loving and sugary and stuff, and now today he's very cold with me because yesterday we had a very fucking stupid disagreement, i fucking hate this and it's making me miserable and achy
i thought we were cool because in the morning he was treating me normally, i even brought cookies because i thought we were meeting after work. fuck
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>>199103>have a terrible day, with dysmenorrhea preventing you from going to a close friend's graduation>freaking out because some of the acne you thought you fought seems to be coming back>going back on socials to see this
I can't wait for this day to be over
I feel you on the acne thing, too. My skin was recovering after 6 months, but now I've got scarring to deal with all over again.
Also, I learned one of my professors died recently and I had just started a class in hopes of having them again, with no idea why we had a sudden switch in instructors.
A lot of my formative music listening years were influenced by LP, so this news is just awful. Especially learning that LP had just released a new MV hours before Bennington's suicide came to light. His death is awful no matter what, but something about it is even more depressing because it wasn't during hiatus or a break. Like he was hurt so bad that even a busy schedule couldn't stop him from suicidal thoughts.
I guess I don't know how to explain, but drawing is the only thing that really keeps me going. Producing work that shows I'm improving is when I'm happiest. But when I get depressed, my feelings of inadequacy over art amplify and stop me from doing anything. I guess part of the reason I want to go into art is that producing work will stop me from killing myself, but Bennington's suicide flies in the face of that.
I don't know. I think I'll quit art soon because it's a risky career and I don't think I'll ever be good enough. I hope I can find a new career, soon.
Me too, farmer. Me too…
The worst is when I have vivid dreams of having friends or even a boyfriend, and then I wake up and realize that I'll never ever have any of that. I'll never experience happiness.
I've been feeling the same way lately due to similar circumstances. LP and Chester was kind of another moment where I just felt this wave of sadness. Its funny because I spent my entire day drawing today to relax and when I had found out all I could do was continue my art and listen to LP as a little grieving moment.
Feel better anon, keep drawing even if that isn't the career you choose. If it makes you happy, if it makes you feel accomplished, keep it. Art produces something that stays with people when we aren't here anymore. Hope tomorrow is better.
he was most likely joking and probably thought you where doing the same.
Everyone knows there's no such thing as windows 9, don't get yourself worked up about it.
ME TOO ANON
I was telling my friends that the only thing that makes me happy right now are drawing and listening to music. I started painting on my body too and it's helped soooo much, it's so therapeutic. I try to do something and post it to instragram almost once a day (if you tag there's always at least some people that will like it). This is what is getting me through things right now. You don't need a job in art to keep doing it, I changed my major from art because I figured I would be doing it either way.
His death made me think, too. Whenever I hear of someone famous committing suicide, I feel so understanding of it. I've been in some seriously bad places with my depression but not bad enough to kill myself, which makes me think there is a whole other depth that you can reach and it scares me that I could possibly get there one day.
tell your guys boyfriends to grow the fuck and don't act like a cold little pussy for some dumb reason and refusing to work it out
that sounds like some shit a 14 yr old girl on her period would do to her mom
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I hate Shadman and his pedo minions so much. "He only draws it ironically! Muh victimless crime! U r butthurt!" No, you don't spend your entire time drawing something like that if you're not into it. Normal people wouldn't draw CP. Also he's drawn actual children and his Patreon got rekt for that, so he did molest real children.
They just completely refuse they're pedos. "Pedos molest children, if you don't molest a child you're not a pedo!" Do I have to pull an Onision and open a dictionary? Jeez. I understand that, like incels, redpill etc. they're very vocal on the internet because irl no one in their right mind would partecipate in their degenerate circlejerk, but their stupidity and denial gets on my nerves everytime.
I haven't smoked for two days and my depression is spiraling out of control. No one takes me seriously when I say I wanna kill myself and I can barely eat. >>199103
doesn't make me feel much better either
Where are you from? If America, 1-800-273-8255
They also have a private chat. http://chat.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx
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I'm so fucking tired of this stuffed nose and scratchy throat i've had for like a week. It probably doesn't help that i've been binge drinking since last sunday but fucking hell. I want to TASTE my potato chips goddamnit.
Anon are you me?? Literally got super drunk for the first time in a while on the weekend - suddenly has terrible as fuck cold that won't go away. I literally came to browse because I can't sleep due to cough and sore throat
Best wishes anon!
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It's dumb, but I feel really bad about potentially throwing out this hand-me-down 80s dishware set that I grew up with. My mom gave them to me when I moved out for college, but tbh they're pretty dated– and imo–a little ugly. The matching cups are gone too because my asshole roommates obliterated them on purpose a couple years ago. My mom long ago threw out the matching mugs as well.
So I have a disjointed set of plates, butter plates, and bowls.
There's lots of scratches, some chips, and fading on most of them so they're probably not even worth my time to resell.
It just feels weird to put them in the trash when these are the dishes I've eaten off since forever.
I got square, white ceramic plates today while I visited in my mom's town, which were on discount. They're made in China, and they definitely have a mass-produced feel to them that the vintage dishware doesn't have.
Pic related is what my set is. Should I just let them go farmers? Idk…
nah, most of my silverware and dishes are cheap mass produced aliexpress level crap to
your plates look fine, but if it helps, if the old dishes are the floral kind, they probably weren't that ugly, something is kinda cute and comforting to me about floral dishes, despite me not even growing up with them
>They're made in China, and they definitely have a mass-produced feel to them that the vintage dishware doesn't have
That feeling isn't "mass-produced", it's "made in a country with no regulations or care for human life that produces shit-quality products as cheaply as possible with dangerous and destructive results and my sub-conscious survival instincts are begging me not to eat off of these"
I don't have an opinion on whether you should keep the old set or not, but if you don't at least shell out a little more money to by cook and dinnerware made literally anywhere else. Your dinner will be better without the lead and other chemicals leeching into it, just trust me.
Guess I could keep the older dishes until I grab a lead swab test. But I doubt that's an issue. I googled it out of curiosity and most articles said the lead concerns were only for improperly manufactured plates and ones with brighter dyes.>>199367
Haha thanks anon, I too am a sucker for floral dishes. I'm keeping an easter set I inherited from my grandma, but for some reason I never quite registered my set as floral. I always thought the orchids were black waves until I looked more closely one day.
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I worry about how younger millenials and the next generation will turn out when reading youtube comments under videos like Yumi King's, Onision's, and other Youtubers who do questionable shit. The way their followers worship them and believe they can do no wrong is worrisome. Also the fact that they see unhealthy relationship as "goals" makes me think that they're going to end up in bad/abusive relationships. On top of that they don't seem to handle criticism and different viewpoints well at all. I hope Im wrong though and that they grow out of this shit when they become young adults.
I also worry that kids get sexualized too early, there's so much shit on the internet that's easy to access and opportunities for kids to get preyed on. There have been studies that show kids hit puberty earlier these days too, which just adds to it.
I've noticed kids in my area just don't look like kids anymore, I don't know if it's a worldwide phenomenon or not. And I'm in my late early 20s so even 18 year olds look like gangly teenyboppers to me.
My SO is a cashier at a large shopping mall supermarket and he constantly rants about girls as young as 14 wearing Kylie Jenner makeup, Instaho clothes and generally looking like slutty Hobbits. I myself have seen really young girls trying to flirt with older guys and get them to buy them things which just…what even.
Idk, when I was young I still played with Barbies, wore braces, plaits and rainbow-coloured platform flip flops so this makes me super uncomfortable.
same, either that or they look super young as well
I work with a lot of kids and when I see preteens/early teenagers, they either look 21 or they look like 4 yr olds, it usually applies to the boys that look like kids though
it also scares me that ddlg is a thing among these people and often allows them to get in a kink based relationship with some pedophile, it's disgusting and wrong people think stuff like the movie lolita, or ddlg doesn't harm kids at all
the insta baddie thing among kids, I think they shouldn't be overexposed to instagram,my 12 yr old cousin, while she dresses normal, she still wastes all her mommies makeup on kylie jenner makeup, technically it's not harmful, but what ever happened to just being a kid? and the kids that do act like actual kids are jumping on the lolita train, it disgusts me
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>tfw live across street to super popular store that my friends frequent every now and then but they don't text or ask to hang out
I know not everyone wants to hang out w/ friends during a shopping trip, but it feels a lil bad that they don't want to stop by for tea. Even bf is a little sad they don't say anything, we only know based on the pictures they post on fb. Especially considering they often drive out thirty minutes to an hour from their own homes to go. Feels like ever since I got less involved in fashion they're distant now.
just wanted to add that i feel like my youth is wasting away because of my skin
i don't even wear makeup that much, only when i go out once a week and i have to use so much foundation and concealer
i would give anything to be like my friends who can complain about being ugly and then post selfies minutes later because they know that they have clear beautiful skin
I got some random junk to get out of my system. The older I get the more I hate living in 2017, and people in general. I feel like no matter how indifferent I act to new people I meet, I still end up attracting weirdos and it's driving me insane.
At work a few weeks ago, it was the last day for this middle aged guy that every one seemed to like pretty well. He came up to my friend/coworker and I during lunch, asked for our pictures, and started going on about how he was building a BDSM whipping rack for his friends. I don't get why he told us that. We had never talked about anything like that before. He went on about how he worked in the strip club industry designing clothes, and said stuff like that I would fall flat on my face if I wore 6 inch stilettos, and called me vanilla and I feel like he kept insinuating I was sexually innocent. I was super creeped out by it, and I ended up telling a manager about.
He was the 3rd creep I've had to put up with at this job in only a few months.
And here's the thing that's really bothering me. That friend/coworker has a girlfriend and I feel like he keeps flirting with me. He's said some wierd things. Someone else remarked it seemed like he's always hitting on me, and someone else asked if we were dating.
He had asked me to hang out two times before and I just kinda ignored it because I didn't know if his girlfriend was okay with him hanging out with other girls without her there or not. Later on it seemed like she was okay with it, so when he asked to hang out last week, I said sure. It was pretty normal for the most part, we walked around while he drank several beers and he kept asking if I wanted a sip of daddy's beer. I'm not sure what he meant by that. I have a pretty hard time sometimes distinguishing between someone just joking, being friendly, or actually trying to hit on me. I want to believe he was just joking, but part of me thinks it was some attempted daddy dom meme thing wrapped in a joke; I vaguely get the feeling he's into that sort of thing bacause a couple days after the creepy old guy left, we were talking more about it. I couldn't believe that he thought it was even remotely acceptable to tell us about his bdsm rack, but he told me "nah, I was actually really interested." What…
I hadn't really thought too much about it till yesterday when he wanted to hang out again. We were going through pictures on his computer, and you could clearly tell what each photo was by the thumbnail. He enlarged one of them and I looked up, it was someone's fucking ballsack pulled out of their pants. From the looks of it it was probably taken by him or one of his friends. I was super embarrassed, but he was like "haha, oops." He showed me a bunch of YouTube videos he found, one I'd guess I'd classify as soft core bondage porn. I told him that, feeling super uncomfortable, and he just ignored me and let that video play for another minute. Another video was a sex doll sales videos, and I was like "dude, how is this on YouTube? Doesn't this violate terms?" Friends who get to know me well know get that I'm not comfortable with porn, or really sexual stuff like that. He just let the video keep playing and didn't change the video till I asked him to.
I just really wanted to get all this junk off my chest. I don't expect any advice, I would feel stupid stopping being friends because we have to work together and have another work friend in common. I want my job for awhile. I also feel like some people are just think I'm being prudish and over sensitive.
Stop enabling him to make you this uncomfortable ffs. It's clear he's taking advantage of the fact you want to be nice and are afraid to outright reject him. That's a really bad idea to let him do this. It's escalating and you're not cool with it. You're not a prude because you don't like watching pics of your co-worker's (who have a fucking gf) ballsack, come on.
You should enforce some boundaries 'cause I guaranty you, pretty sound he's going to try and kiss you or some shit and put it all on the fact that you were so flirty with him because you never rejected what he was doing.
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>tfw drank up mom's box wine again
6th day of my binge fellas! gonna get me a cigarette.
is this a joke? obviously the solution is to not talk to this fucking creep anymore, why the hell would you hang out with someone who makes you constantly uncomfortable?
maybe this keeps happening to you because you enable it by being spineless smh
I dug into a stranger's liquor cabinet and had two shots, passed out (or fell asleep, not sure which) and now I'm hungover as fuck. Didn't even get drunk. >tfw used to drink over half a bottle of vodka every night and now my body is rejecting alcohol like this
What an ungrateful little shit
He shows classic signs of being a rapist. Making you feel uncomfortable through jokes with sexual connotations, images and videos. He knows you feel uncomfortable and gets off from it.
If I were you I wouldn't go into the same room with him anymore. He needs a clear and sound "No." from you. Otherwise he will keep pushing your boundaries.
Stay away from this freak if you want to stay safe.
What shit hole country do you live in that there are no laws that keep your boss from treating you like that? What do you make an hour?
A friend of mine always complained that she constantly attracted weirdos. It was because she never had the guts to say "no" in fear of being "impolite", so the creeps always took advantage of it. Creeps can recognize this type of girls pretty easily.
React. Say "fuck, no", even loudly. Do something. As long as you put up with their shit they will see it as consent.>>199528>>199533
Could also be Italy, their employment situation is utter shit
go, anon. Do what you need to be safe. Psych ward is not as bad as one might think. It can make you nervous at first, but youll soon adapt and then it feels nearly normal.
just go an emergency admittance thingy and tell them at what kind of place you are right now. And please dont do it. Even if right now it seems no one cares about you, you have a future.
It will get better. Trust me.
>>199467>i wish i had killed myself
wait until you have finished high school.
high school is shit for most people. it will get a lot better afterwards.
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>have a good social life
>can make friends with people and get along with them instantly mostly
>become a total sperg when a romantic situation arises
>still single at 27 and never had anyone in my life
yeah, accutane did nothing. i did this one antibiotic that kinda worked but it all came back. i've even tried those expensive lasers. i've tried not washing my face using face wash, not wearing makeup for a month, no dairy no sugar.. everything i can think of. my sister also has cystic acne (hers is on her chin, mine is on my cheeks) and it's never gone away so i'm losing hope. but in addition to the acne my whole face is red and also covered in bumps/normal acne. i'm so tired of covering my face all the time, i know it's such a stupid reason to be depressed but it's all over my face and i can't get rid of it.
i guess the worst part for me is that i'm doing everything right and nothing is working. i haven't eaten fast food in months.. my friend literally sleeps in her makeup and has clear skin :(
Could be stress and/or hormonal related acne. I empathize anon, my mom was diagnosed with rosacea and had adult cystic acne all her life.
I have acne as well, and the only things that have ever helped, but didn't eliminate, were antibiotics and topical creams. I stopped doing the antibiotics because I'm afraid of resistance. No skincare regimen has ever made a huge difference. My back is a scarred disgrace and I get extreme hyperpigmentation aka redness. My pores are ironically really small but I feel like that only makes them susceptible to being clogged easily by keratin and sebum.
So my new go-to is dousing my face with benzoyl peroxide cream. It works and makes it so I can go outside without makeup save for some concealer on some of the red dots.
But it does make my face extremely dry and sometimes itchy. Yet it's the only way. I combine it with some moisturizer in order to combat the effects. I'm not blemish free, but at least it doesn't make me feel like I'm dirty or have a skin disease.
Accutane didn't work? Weird… For how many months were you on it? Afaik you see improvement from 6-8 months on. What does your derm say?
Read this >>197599
you could try it too! You could also find help on r/Acne, there may be someone in your same situation that came to a solution. Don't stop trying, there's always hope!
i have a friend struggling with a very similar situation anon,
she finally decided to take estrogen pills and it's clearing up already - honestly an insane the difference within a month already.
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I've come to the realisation that two friends treat me like shit. They make fun of me for trying to improve myself by running, eating healthy etc. and for my hobbies. For a time I thought it was just roasting/banter but whenever I make a comment they acted so hurt.
I would distance myself from them but the issue is that they are my only friends and I don't want to be friendless. I'm also shit at socialising so idk what I'm gonna do
These days my friends were saying "how can someone like you be single, you have to make a tinder blah blah blah", so I created one, again. Big mistake. I have to carry all the conversations by myself, come up with subjects to talk about, and I'm always the one who is making effort. If I try to let the girls come up with something to say they don't say anything and the conversation dies. After a while it tears your self-esteem apart.
I just don't understand, I'm not a 8/10 looking super sociable guy but I'm not a 3/10 robot loser with no direction in life, either, and I'm far from being the kind of guy that gets posted in the "terrible exes" thread as well. Surely, some girl out there would like to date me, but it's like they're doing me a favor just by talking to me. Well, serves me right, I was happy this year just studying, hanging out with my friends, and doing my stuff, and then did something I knew would only hurt me. Sage and sorry for malepost, but I needed to vent somewhere.
thank you for all the responses!
i was on accutane for 6 months. while there was improvement, it did come back. i only have acne on my face, not anywhere else.. it's definitely not stress because my life is pretty stress free besides some regular highschool drama but i've never really felt stressed (besides the whole stress of acne).
my skin is really close to this girl's but just on a different part of my face. i've actually talked to her about it and it's the same as me, where it'll get better but never really go away.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgPpjardAr0&t=298s
i've tried every suggestion under the sun.. so i guess all i can do now is learn to live with it.
6 months is nothing. you usually take it for a lot longer. I only had super mild cystic pimples - like not even the whole face, just 4-5 at a time and only around my period. I had a very low dose because the acne wasnt as bad (20 mg/day) and Ive taken it for 9 months. I still get pimples now, but theyre not super deep in the skin and infected, but only small ones at the surface of the skin.
weirdly enough it also improved my acne inversa, although it is said it's no use for it.
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>bf did something retarded
>I'm hurt and shocked
>Say I'm going to forgive him
>Trying my best
>Still sad though
>Bf says I could physically hurt him if that would make me feel better
>Says that's pretty awful and that I couldn't do it
>Starts thinking more about it…
>Feels like I'd actually feel better if I did
>Tells bf I can't do it, but would probably feel better
>Bf says I should beat him up if that would help me
>Unsure of what I should do
Are we retarded? Am i evil? Is this normal in relationships? We never fight, so this is new to us, and we don't know what to do. I feel like I'd feel better if he was "punished" for his stupid actions. I know he already feels bad, but seeing him feel humiliated and in light to moderate pain would make me feel like he's finally hurting like I am too.
And no, were not going to break up over what he did, he didn't cheat on me etc. I'm very bitter and wanting revenge is part of my personality, unfortunately, so idk what to do.
I would probably feel guilty, but I will say that slapping his face a few times would make me feel better.
Yes, yes and no.
Grow up, you literal child.
>>199660>desperately needing outside validation
sorry to say, anon.
but foremost and all you need to find yourself pretty and stop thinking what others think. and also stop fishing for compliments. You make yourself dependant from other peoples opinions and will end up like tuna. Also relying on others opinion you'll get crushed down like that each time you dont get a compliment. Get some self worth, girl.
1) Men are notoriously horrible at complimenting people and don't notice minute differences in appearance like women do. I don't even bother asking my bf anything about me that doesn't require a "yes" or "no" answer. If you want an honest opinion, ask a random girl (not lolcow for obvious reasons).
2) You're comparing your blank slate to a girl with extensive plastic surgery procedures, regular filler appointments, makeup, lighting, angles AND filters.
Also this >>199661
anon, this is ridiculous for a few reasons.
youre implying that what he did wasn't too serious, so i'm just concerned what youre going to do when something serious does come up?
you need to take this situation to learn how to manage your emotions. It's fine to be upset even after saying it's forgiven. Forgiveness is a process, not just a "yeah its fine" and then suddenly you forget all about it. So take the time to be upset, let that heal you, learn to trust him again and trust that he won't do it. and just let him know that although you're still sad you still love him and maybe let him know ways that he can help. Yes it may make you feel better in the moment to see him humiliated, but is that really what you want? I feel like that behaviour will turn into just doing things to spite him everytime you're upset at something he's done no matter how big or small just to -get even-
Fighting is tough especially if you're pretty new to it, and everyone has their own way of doing it, but i think getting even is just stupid.
Focus on learning how to actually forgive and let go.
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My period pain is so debilitating, I probably endo or something.
I desperately want to be on birth control again, but my insurance sucks and all the women's clinic with cheap birth control are shut down near me. Fuck me…
Thank you for your well thought out reply. You're absolutely right, and I'll try to work on that. What he did was very serious
but it wasn't aimed at me. I'm not violent at all and I don't tend to be emotional, so I have no idea why I'm feeling/acting this way.
nah anon you're not alone, in fact in the sexual abuse thread, a lot of them mentioned that their pediatrician touched them when they were younger and were really creepy about it
as crazy as this sounds, but I feel like pediatricians need to be watched and monitored better and more, it just really creeps me out and strikes me that someone can be so okay with touching a kids genitals for "check ups", I mean I could understand if the kid is having problems but why do they need to do it to every healthy child who is showing no signs of anything like that happening ?
I've done something dumb that might (hopefully won't) result in health related unpleasantness. I have a problem and I need to stop but I'm afraid of admitting it, failing, and disappointing the people who matter most to me.
It's not an actual physical addiction, either, which makes me feel like a fucking loser/failure for not stopping.
I use to have a friend like that, they treat you like backup friends and can care less about you. You are better off without that person
Block and then delete them. You won't regret this, fuck people like that. There are/will be other people who appreciate you and your friendship
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>overhear classmate talking to professor trying to figure out the name of an outsider artist
>recognize who it is because I was going to write a report about them and give classmate the name
>"wow thanks anon that was awesome of you blah blah etc"
>write down that I'm using them for my report on list passed around during class today
>overhear classmate and professor saying it's unfair that I picked this person when classmate-chan clearly wanted to
Should've kept my mouth shut, I guess.
ahh i had a friend just like this, i recently told her how i felt and she lost it on me… safe to say we don't talk anymore. sometimes u just have to know when to cut those people off - they bring you more misery than happiness in the end. It's draining especially when youre constantly giving and giving and shes taking and taking.
it's even easier when it's an online friendship because you don't have to worry about mutual friend hangouts and stuff haha
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He's probably checking if you're interested, but doesn't want to show that he misses you in case you're not.
Different company (almost 8 months) same experience. The last four companies I worked at are the same. Either micromanagement or pure sketch.
The only way out of the cycle is starting your own business, until you grow enough to have to hire people and the cycle repeats. Or join corporate at somewhere big and have a smile painted on you.
My only irl friend decided I wasn't good enough for her. I would get so fucking angry (I wouldn't confront her because I didn't want to be clingy, or cause drama) because she NEVER texted me, called me, or asked to hang out. I had to do all the fucking leg work in the relationship, it felt like a chore, most of the time she was never interested in anything I said, she seemed a bit bothered when he hung out (tho I am rlly socially anxious so the bothered thing might be me projecting) so I would rarely text her or ask her to hang because I felt like a bother, but sometimes we would have so much fun just shooting the breeze that I really didn' t care about the negatives.
So after helping her with her closing duties at work (aka staying late out of my own free will, not even getting payed) I finally said something.
I asked her why she didn't ever text me or ask to hang out.
Then she said in a shitty little tone, "I dont't know, why don't YOU start the conversation?" Now, I am pretty quick to get annoyed and angry and this shit nearly sent me to the moon, because like I said I'M the one making the first move every time, but because I enjoyed our friendship when she decided to actually be my friend, I kept it inside and tried to poke fun.
I just said, "You hang out with Amy all the time, though!" Just kind of light hearted and chuckling, she really didn't say anything back. (Amy is this girl she's friends with that she has no problem actually communicating with. Not her real name btw.)
So fast foward like a week or so, she keeps gushing about how Amy is sooo funny, Amy did this Amy did that, Maria did this, Maria did that (Maria is her OTHER friend shes got no trouble talking to and hanging out with, also not her real name.) And so I've had enough fucking bullshit so I'm over here pretty much nearly seething, on the outside I'm like… oh how cool!…trying to be okay and not telling that bitch how fucking pathetic she is crawling back to those two cunts after they excluded her for the longest time.
Okay, so I just quit trying to text her. A few weeks passed.
Now its yesterday, the bitch ignored me completely outright, so I guess shes okay having her old two timing bitch ass friends back.
I put my two weeks in yesterday as well. She actually hooked me up with the shitty ass job. It just felt wrong to keep working there when working there also made me miserable. So now it's job hunting season.
It's fucking insanely hard for me to ease up to people because I've been through some shit like this before (one "friend" dumped my ass and told me to kill myself when I was struggling through really tough depression and had previously attempted suicide, another one would punch me and kick me and fuck if it didn't hurt, then giggle "that's what friends do")
I thought she was different. She was shy and funny and not rude at all, until, well…
Any advice, besides telling me to stop being a pushover or a pussy, etc.?
Sorry for the fucking novel lol.
Ngl anon, seems like you struggle with a lot of self worth. Perhaps it really is your insecurities that makes it feel like she doesn't like you as much, when really she's just enjoying your time together or maybe she can sense your on edge so it made things a little awkward.
You also sound a bit bitter/jealous over her other friends. Had you all ever hung out together before?
Some people just click naturally better with others and unfortunately that's out of anyone's control.
I've been on the other side of this so maybe it's possible she just didn't realize she was making you feel this way… replying to her with something like "you don't have a problem texting Amy!" Or w.e it was you said probably wasn't smart and sounded bitter, something like "I just worry I bother you by texting you first all the time" would've been better and more inviting for a conversation about how you feel about things. If she's really valuable to you as a friend maybe try messaging her, apologize for the way you acted and maybe explained that it was brought on by your hurt feelings by feeling like youre not as close friends as you want to be. That way you're not putting blame on her - which would cause her to put blame on you and have a fight etc.
I get what it's like to have a friend who doesn't care for you, however it seems there's a lot of personal insecurities getting in the way and possibly making you feel this way
Yeah, unfortunately I have a lot of insecurities. And yeah I'm really bitter I guess. When she stopped hanging around the two of them, she hung out more with me and it was fun. It just… makes me angry how she kind of used me as a place holder, y'know? She knows the person I am. I guess I can't fault her for getting tired.
And no, I never hung out with her friends. I'm scared of being the fourth wheel while they have fun. Which would definitely happen. I guess this was another chapter in my life. I'm still bitter…like, way bitter. I also bungled stuff up because when I said 'stopped trying to text her' I meant I tried texting her but she's never replied so I stopped (sorry for that, got carried away I guess), and I don't think she'd respond now after so long, I also dont want any drama at work since shes close to our boss and sort of… goes and cries to him when shes upset. I just need to better myself, I think, and try to be more outgoing and focus on my mental health since it has kinda went down the shitter as of late lol.
I just thought about it and I mean I already put my two weeks in, I guess this would be the best time to talk about my feelings next time we work together when we aren't so busy. It won't be my preferred place to confront her but I don't see her outside of work anymore and she won't text me. So maybe it will all have been a misunderstanding or she really doesn't want to be my friend. But either way, I'm definitely going to better myself! Thanks for responding, anon :)
But I'd be dissapointed if my bf doesn't punch that ugly motherfucker in his disgusting face.
But seriously, he should have said something.
He's probably just retarded. Guys don't usually have a lot of forethought into what they're saying. I can't count the number of gaffs my bf has said to me. >>199917
I can see why you'd be down but your bf is with you for a reason. Who cares what some loser thinks? He's probably just humping his dakimakura every night while weeping anyways.
thanks guys, this helped a bit actually. i know i shouldn't care what some asshole thinks, but my self esteem is pretty low so i take stupid shit to heart.
my bf didn't want to tell me the details but he did mention in passing the guy said something "rude" about me and i insisted on him telling me. he's a little autistic. he did say he told the guy off though, so that's something.
…And then call CPS so you don't get charged with kidnapping. Say she just wandered into your property and those crazies next door aren't taking care of her and so on.
Least we remember that even though they are druggie scum, they are (probably) under the mistaken impression that they can care for their three-year-old. Which is still, as far as we know, theirs. Taking their kid escalates things.
And no, they won't go to the police, they'll take up pipes and chains and settle their grievance more directly.
I'm not taking their kid. HELL NO!
That's one of the things that is hold me of calling cps. Since the dogs charged me and m husband they have been more watchful and yesterday for exemple the whole group was staring at us when we came back from the gym. And th y had the dogs on leash. The problem is this now, we have a group of homeless druggies staring at us. I feel so much more paranoid. I honestly lost my "daaawww" effect over the kid and may call the cps to scare them since complaining to our landlord is not doing anything about the situation and like I said they are not only bother us, but other 3 neighboring families too. I'm glad I found out that I can make anonymous reports on them for the child neglect.
I guess it's more rebound effect than proper withdrawals, I guess. It's really feels like withdrawals though : intense headache behind the eyes, really sore muscles, upset stomach.
I don't take anything else and have really been abusing them lately, so I don't see what else it could be.
Last night I read an article on Wired about a girl who had a cyberstalker since she was 12 that was always truing to get her fired by posting letters to her bosses or ruin her irl friendships by pretending to be her and saying horrible things. It reminded me of the stalker that I had from 12-19 but made me realize how lucky I was that it never progressed and he gave up eventually
And then today I logged into an old account and saw that he had messaged me 2 days ago, the first time in maybe 4 years. It's just too much of a weird coincidence, and also makes me uneasy that he could still sometimes be cyberstalking me after I thought it was over. I'm still thankful he's just a lurker rather than the psychotic type that tries to interact or influence.>>200071>I know I should leave, but I can't.
Do you actually have a reason other than the cliche 'but wen its gud its reel gud so love overcums all' that you can't leave? If it's at this stage already and you're only young then break up, but if you're a LDR locked into a mortgage or something then try couples counselling first.>>200087
It would be weird if someone you loved lied to you and told you they loved you in order to keep you as a friend, would you really want that kind of friendship?
do you know what you like?
If not: write the things down you love and enjoy.
Animals, music, drawing, telling stories, antique furniture or whatever.
It's not always easy to know what you like. Ask yourself if you like random things and listen to your heart.
And then you can think about one thing you really enjoy and turn it into a hobby.
I hope that helps a bit. I have the same problem
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I don't know if you have tried it already but someone I got to know had migraines all the time and really bad ones.
She got this piercing because it's supposed to help with Migraines (not everyone of course)
But it really helped her and she has them less now and not as extreme as before she got the piercing.
It's worth a shot I guess.
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I broke up with my girlfriend a month ago, the thing I really miss is smelling her.
Smelling her armpits or pussy got me really hard, I would smell her panties while jacking off or before lifting weights for the testosterone boost to increase my lifts (home gym).
I think I got addicted to smelling the female pheromones, and now I went cold turkey.
I know they sell used panties online but that's kind of disgusting because I know they fuck other guys and probably have an STD.(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)
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I've been in a long term relationship with a man for 7 years, since I was 16. I realized I liked girls between then and now, but I'm happy and committed in my monogamous relationship.
>tfw will never get to fuck kinky lesbos while I'm young and fit.
>tfw wasting my entire youth due to stokholm/sunken cost syndrome