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File: 1493006335719.jpg (17.37 KB, 321x267, db4e6177806eb089f45528d6b4d493…)

No. 187938

Previous thread hit post limit

>>>/ot/181943

No. 187939

So, I made this thread just so i could post this:

>>187900
God, anon. I'm in a very similar situation. feeling so lost because i'm developing a HUGE crush on this guy who said he doesn't want to be with anyone because of his previous relationship/mental state/he still likes his ex. His life basically went downhill recently so i get why he'd want to be alone for a while and that he still loves his ex. But he just met this girl and i kind of feel like he may start hitting on her soon. we get along so well, and he himself knows that too, and we even discussed maybe, just maaaybe being together in the future when he's better… so yeah, i feel really shitty right now.

No. 187963

File: 1493026271710.jpg (37.81 KB, 500x375, da11c7b69d5cfab87188e56c45251f…)

I'm a former ana-chan that started with fitness 2-3 years ago. Over these years I've gained 15kg and now I'm looking normal and am at a healthy weight range.

What really fuck me up is that I'm bulking, and the weight = progress ration is really small. My current goal weight is 55kg (right now I'm at 51kg) The ultimate goal is 60kg and that's probably the max I feel comfortable at. I still feel really small, but also big and the whole thing is fucked up.

What messes with me even more are those before-after picture like pic related, where the persons body changes A LOT within like, 3-5 months.

I think I'll stop at 55kg and see how much fat I can lose

No. 187965

>>187963
How tall are you ?

No. 187967

>>187965
161/5'3

No. 187968

Sweden just released a poor muslim for raping a girl bc he maybe has ADHD and thus can't comprehend no.

SWEDEN YES

No. 187971

>going between not being able to sleep for days and sleeping 20 hours a day

send help

No. 187980

I fucking hope Marine Le Pen wins the election.

No. 187981

>>187980
I hope Macron wins. Living in the EU is better for both individuals and businesses, at least more than whatever isolated Muslim shithole France will turn into following Le Pen's victory.

No. 187982

I have to look for a job for this summer and I'm 100% sure I won't find anything because I'm unlucky and don't have enough experience or whatever. I have so many doubts for the future, college definitely isn't for me but I'm so close to getting my master degree and finding a good job seems impossible without one. I wish I were one of these people that could just play video games on youtube and get payed for it.

>>187980
I fucking hope not. I completely forgot the elections were yesterday but I'll definitely vote in May.

No. 187985

I've been working for the same company (office job) for 4 years this winter. I hate it. It was a good job offer because I needed it at the time. I didn't feel one way or the other about the work but now I know it's not for me.

Now I'm basically fucking strapped to this life sucking job that I hate more and more every single day. My rent and bills are too high to quit and work somewhere else. I get good money ($15/hr) but I genuinely hate my life right now. Getting up in the mornings knowing I have to come to this stupid job makes me want to just lie on a highway.

Now there's talks of extending our hours which means I'd be stuck here longer wasting away for no increase in pay but a 1hr lunch break that I'd have to sit in the break room for and listen to the phone ring for an hour and return all the calls after. I would rather shoot myself in the temple than work another hour in this fucking job.
I hate wasting my hours and days here, I miss being able to get up at 7 or 8am for a retail job where the hours were different and I could at least see the fucking sunlight during the day.
Now I get up at 6am and hate myself.
Vent over.

No. 188134

Last night I dreamed of having a 9/10 tall, friendly, blonde German bf. I didn't know I needed this but now I do. Where's my German bf?

No. 188135

>>188134
>German
>friendly
Best you can hope for is an awkward assburger

No. 188136

>>188134
I used to have one and it was this >>188135 but Germany has a great supply of tall, cute, friendly guys!

No. 188144

I miss my boyfriend. I still have to spend almost 5 months here and it makes me sad, I wish I could be in his arms.

No. 188145

>>188135
OP here, I've known groups of Germans in international exchanges and I'm in contact with most of them, they're super friendly and humorous. So it's totally possible

No. 188156

File: 1493142707942.jpg (119.24 KB, 576x1024, tmv1fBr.jpg)

My parents used to be cool. They are 3rd generation legal Mexican Americans and would feed me stories about how when they were in school, they were yelled at if they spoke Spanish and even eating Mexican food got them ridiculed. So every time they saw Mexicans who never bothered to learn English as well as received all sorts of government aid, they got pissed. Hell, they hate when people speak Spanish to them because "this is America. I speak English and so should you"
But then Trump got elected and my mom suddenly did a complete 180. Every time there is news of illegals getting arrested she starts ranting about how evil Trump is. Every time a white person does something stupid she right away says they probably voted for Trump. It's killing me. I just want to remind them that our families fought to come here and did it the right way and there are people doing it illegally and it's unfair. But I know if I do she'll call me racist and probably disown me.

I really want to show her this picture so I can explain to her that it's not ALWAYS about race and it's not just Mexicans doing it.

No. 188162

>>188144
May time pass swiftly, anon-chan

I'm way too depressed and self-loathing as usual.

No. 188165

>>188156
Lol. Fuck you. You sound like a brat

No. 188170

>>188165
why is everyone always such a cunt in the vent thread
>>188156
i agree with you in a sense, i dont know much about america but where i live my family also came here legally even though there was so much war going on where they were, so it pisses me off when people think they can just come here on a boat and be accepted

No. 188172

>>188165

Spotted the illegal.

No. 188193

Socialism impoverished my country just in a couple years.
And now western 'intellectuals' think they are smarter than the smartest people in the eastern block and fight for the same thing that ruined hundreds of millions of lives.

For them being truly poor between equally poor people is better than being relatively poor between rich people.

Don't even get me started with
>no true scotsman

No. 188194

>>188193
Natives are worse. My grandmother is nostalgic about the past system and whenever I mention that it got the country literally bankrupt, or that she should compare our country to western ones she just goes silent.

It makes me mad when I think about it how socialism fucked us. The economy and the mentality of the people.

No. 188196

>>188162
Thank you.
I wish you well too, maybe try to get something done like making your bed or vacuuming your room, it might help you feel better.

No. 188216

im too retarded to get a job, and to live in this world
but im also too retarded to get help
its a dead end for me

No. 188217

I'm having trouble coming out to my parents & family. I think I shouldn't even let them know, but my mom is kinda pressuring me to get a husband & whatever. I'm very ashamed of being Lesbian & my parents/family are very against homosexuality. I remember when the Orlando shooting happened my parents were laughing at the situation saying they deserved death & idk I cried all night about it. I just want to make my parents happy for me but that's very unlikely.. I really hate myself.

No. 188223

>>188217
I'm bi so I can't pretend I know exactly what you're going through but I understand a little, my mom refuses to shop at this one store just because she thinks one of the cashiers is a lesbian, and she and my dad were saying "I hope he died of AIDS" when George Michael died and it really does fucking suck to hear that kind of shit from family. Again I don't know exactly what you're going through but I'm sorry you have to be ashamed, it's lame as hell.

No. 188229

Where the fuck is the influx of self important humblebraggers coming from? Nobody gives a fuck about how you look like if it isn't relevant/in appropriate threads. Its an anonymous imageboard ffs, whats the point? ???

No. 188230

Is my boyfriend just a giant asshole or do I just not understand him?
We went out last night and some guy sat down next to me and proposed a fuck in the bathroom… I told him to gtfo. Instead of comforting me or telling that guy to go fuck himself, my bf just acted jealous as hell all night.
Shit like "wow I guess you don't need me you get guys all over you…" wtf dude I literally just got sexually harassed?! He's great most of the time but I'm seriously considering breaking up with him over stuff like that. Any time a guy talks to me it's the end of the world, I get legit harrassed and he acts like I wanted it…

No. 188234

>>188230
> I get legit harrassed and he acts like I wanted it…

Probably because you act like you do, dress in a way that warrants it, and go to places that warrant it.

He sees you talking with some guy and you're not immediately rejecting him. Your boyfriend probably thinks you'll soon actually cheat, which he probably isn't wrong about is he?

No. 188238

>>188230
Yeah no he's an asshole, what the hell. You'd be justified in breaking up over this.

No. 188240

>>188216
I feel you anon
I feel you so hard
Luckily I have a boyfriend who's very understanding of my retardation and he's slowly introducing me to stuff and teaching me how to navigate the world and even how to get help

(I feel like I might have posted this myself and not remember, so… I hope not, that would be extra retarded)

No. 188241

>>188230
Why not tell him what you told us?

No. 188242

>>188229
I think it's because summer is approaching so school is going to be over soon. We've gotten a lot of newfags in the last 2-3 months

No. 188253

File: 1493209791296.gif (162.27 KB, 329x353, 1451489527247.gif)

I wish I could be a neet all my life and have some way of still being financially independent. Right now I'm only in the mood for video games, sleeping and going out with friends because I know I'll fuck up this semester and that I won't find a job this summer.

No. 188254

>>188230
He's absolutely being a dick about it, but I'd say there's probably some reason why he feels that insecure, and you should talk to him about it and see if you can find the problem before you break up, because that's not just a normal character flaw in my opinion.

If talking to him does nothing and he keeps acting jealous with no real reason to be, then yeah, you might have a point to reconsider whether you want to be with him or not.

No. 188258

>>188230
My ex boyfriend used to act like this. It got to a point where I couldn't even look in someone's direction (despite being short sighted and not wearing glasses) because he'd accuse me of wanting to fuck the blurred image in the background, or if his own friends when we was out interacted with me in a very appropriate manner he would storm off and leave, or if an old friend of mine from my childhood would just merely say "hello" as soon as we got home he would start screeching calling me a slut and telling me to go fuck them. I never cheated on him, nor flirted with anyone else, i'm extremely monogamous where if i'm in a relationship i don't even find other people attractive. one day he wrote a song about it (fucking kek) and i didn't even know until i heard the album months later of him whinging about me being too good for him and him being alone in the future… i never even saw it like that because i saw him as an equal and i really did love him. eventually I left him because i got sick of his spergs and i also found out it was in fact him going behind my back sending other girls suggestive messages. he was toxic and not good for me. when i did break up with him it was hard but for the best, he harassed me for 5months with text messages and now he's someone else's problem… though i haven't really had a relationship since lol

No. 188265

When I was with my abusive ex, my friends would all shit talk him every single time I saw them. They didn't even know about the abuse and I loved him at the time, so I felt pushed away and hurt. It never feels good to have someone you love shit talked constantly. My friends would "gang up" on me about it, circling the subject over and over during a majority of what little time I had to spend with them.
I felt so pushed away by this, and just generally had a bad time with them because I was already so conflicted. I just wanted to spend time with them to get away from it all- not focus on and be surrounded by negativity that I was trying to escape.

That's not the part I have a problem with. I understand it, and that they just wanted me to be happy.
The issue I have is the following:

Now that I've left him, I want to vent. I've shit talked him drunkly via text, and I wanted to share that with my friends that seemed to be so on my side. I was a savage, and wanted them to get hype with me about the savagery. They don't give a fuck, even leaning towards annoyed when I've tried to talk about it. My best friend since birth took my phone and threw it the first time I tried to tell her when we were drunk.

I'm so frustrated, and feel really fucking unsupported again. I almost feel betrayed, honestly. It's like: So you could endlessly shit talk a person I loved and was with for years for your own sake, but the second I want to get in my word against my abuser you don't have time for me? Okay. Great. Thanks.

No. 188269

>>188265
>willingly stays in an abusive relationship
>shits on her friends for telling her to dumb the asshole
>finally break up with him and cry to same friends about the abuse

Sorry, but both you and your story are dumb.

No. 188273

>>188230
My ex was like this, went crazy if guys just talked to me. Screamed at me and treated me like shit because anonymous guys asked me crude questions. Didn't even let me talk to his friends. I wasn't allowed to wear makeup, or clothes that might attract men. Even tank tops were off limits.

And well he was the one who cheated on me, surprise surprise.

No. 188274

>>188269
It's hard to leave an abusive relationship (especially after I moved away from home/ support system), and there was no reason for them to believe that my ex was an asshole as I never told them anything. I didn't shit on my friends. I literally said I didn't have a problem with what they did initially, and that I understood it. I did say that it affected me negatively.
No ur dumb.

No. 188276

File: 1493226855834.jpeg (82.71 KB, 500x362, rollseye.jpeg)

>>188274
It doesn't matter how but your friends were right about him. And they know it. What you are doing now is going to them and cry about stuff they already known and/or were right about. I been that friend before and can say that you are being annoying.

>no shit biatch

No. 188277

>>188276
Both you and your response are dumb

No. 188278

>>188277
>wah wah, I'm always right, the world revolve around me.
Change friends if you're unhappy with the one that had to endure you getting abused and now endure you being shitty about it.

No. 188282

>>188278
I've determined that along with my friends, you're a bad friend. You also don't know how to read.

No. 188300

>>188282
>I swear, it's not me, it's only everyone AROUND me.

No. 188301

>>188282
Just stop.

No. 188304

To say I'm a poor communicator would be an understatement. Who know how that's blocked me in life, but you can't take back what is.

I'm tired of being broke at the end of the day. Of locking everything up inside me, like a grasshopper stuck in a city. I'm tired of my disgust with society, without having any feasible way to make it better.

Also, the state owes me like $200.

No. 188305

>>188269
>>188276
>>188278
>>188300
Don't reply to obvious bait, anon. I know you want a nice supportive venting thread, but if you don't realize that they're doing to you what you're complaining about in your post, you just look foolish.

I lost my dorm key (my lanyard came loose and it fell off, but I didn't realize it until I had to head back to my room and saw it was missing), and I'm really miffed over the fact that I have to pay over a hundred dollars to replace it when school ends in a week. I'm almost certain someone picked it up, too. Oh well.

No. 188319

>>188305
You're right. I mean, I knew they were probably just some robot baiting me but I guess yelling at anons about these feelings online is the toughest I'll get lol.

That's super unfortunate about your dorm key. College already takes enough money. Do they really need to charge you so much for something that will take them a fraction of the price? Super shitty of them.

No. 188321

>>188319
if I'm a robot and I'm like your friends, does that not make your friends robots as well?

No. 188325

>>188265
I honestly completely get that, and I don't understand the mentality of friends who bitch about a current partner, it's never going to go well, and seems obvious that it's just going to cause issues in the long term.

How long ago did you break up with the guy though? Breakups are shitty, but your friends probably don't care about it as much as you do, so if you keep bringing it up heaps over a long time, then it can start to be a bit exhausting to be around.

>>188278
>Change friends if you're unhappy with the one that had to endure you getting abused

This is some trash bait my man, why do you keep coming into these threads and shitposting?

No. 188336

I started college late due to having to get full time jobs with shitty schedules to help my mom, and while I did that willingly and out of love, I still feel like shit everyday thinking about all the years I wasted, and that I could have graduated already if I went to college when I was 18. I'll be able to graduate before my 30's so it's not that bad, but every time I see my classmates (between 19 and 20) I feel so jealous and self hatred, I can barely control myself from cracking right there.

No. 188339

>>188336
Do you have any classmates closer to your age? If it makes you feel any better I'm not going back to school until next year and I'm 26… so I'm jealous of you haha.

No. 188340

I'm worried that my friend has an anxiety disorder, but she's obviously still hung up on the stigma of mental illness. Anytime I bring it up that she might need help, she gets so salty and assumes I'm mad at her/don't want to be her friend anymore. Like wtf. This is me actually showing that I care about you?

No. 188343

Getting blamed for a suicide attempt really fucks you up is what I've learnt recently. Roommates suck. Holy shit.

No. 188357

I'm 25 years old, I've lived alone for 5 years and work full time, yet my mother still manipulates me in to feeling like I can't do anything myself or that I'm always doing the wrong thing, criticises me for anything and everything and reminds me of every regret I could have in life "don't you regret wasting all those years doing X when you could have done Y", which has evolved me in to an adult child with no confidence in myself. I feel I can't cut her off because she's my mother and I get ever so lonely as all my friends live so far away. Maybe I stick around hoping one day she will accept me or maybe my confidence is that low I always run back to her like the adult child I am thinking I can't live without her. She's currently mad at me for booking a holiday with my friend somewhere she personally wouldn't want to go and spending so much of my own money on it. I think she's the one who needs help more than I do but I'm the one having to go for therapy.

No. 188366

File: 1493298756518.png (320.89 KB, 722x378, Skärmavbild 2016-03-27 kl. 13…)

I started working at a new restaurant last week and I performed horribly yesterday because we were understaffed and I was so stressed out. And to make things worse I woke up this morning to a text message from a coworker telling me that I forgot to turn off the dishwasher, clean it and do the last dishes. I went into full on panic mode after reading it and had to call my mom to calm down. I started crying, sent my coworker a text back where I apologised and had to wait for a few minutes after she replied because I was so scared of what she was going to say. My mind is painting these disaster scenarios where I come in to work tomorrow and everyone is going to ignore or yell at me. Or that my boss is going to call me and tell me I'm fired. All because I forgot to turn off the dishwasher.

… Okay, now that I've typed this out I realise how stupid this all is and that I probably overreacted. I wish I could be the kind of person that shrugs it off when she makes a mistake instead of breaking down like this every. Fucking. Time.

No. 188367

>>188366
I feel you Anon, I constantly overreact as soon as something slightly stressful happens. And then when I try explaining my boyfriend why I'm upset I realize how ridiculous I'm being.
I guess something we could do is try to re-explain the situation to ourselves and relativize it before even getting upset.

No. 188368

>>188357
My mom is like this too. My younger sister lets my mom bully the shit out of her and it frustrates me. She doesn't want to accept that our mom is a fucking toxic person, and to top it off, thinks I'm bitter for doing so. I had to stop hoping she would ever change, because she NEVER will. I distance myself from her for my own sanity. I visit my parents 2-3 times a month on weekends, but that's about all the contact we have. No phone calls or texts unless it's about family gatherings or holidays.

The best thing that ever happened to me was when my parents moved across the country and we barely stayed in touch. Made it a lot easier to define my boundaries when they moved back to the area I live in a year later. I know you can't just pick up and move wherever you want on a whim, but physical distance does wonders if you get the chance. I got a little sad from time to time but I think it was more for that fact that I mourn the lack of a supportive mother. I didn't really miss her as a person. My mental health greatly improved that year. It prepared me to handle her quirks or whatever when she came back to town.

No. 188369

>>188366
ayyy another swede

tbh first i cry about what happened, then i cry because i feel stupid for crying about what happened. it's a vicious cycle.

i think we need to sort of just step back and process what makes us upset and accept it for what it is, because if you need to cry- just let it out. that's all you can really do.

hope you feel better anon! like you said, it's probably not even a fraction as bad as your mind makes it out to be. you'll be fine.

No. 188370

>>188366
Sounds like you have massive anxiety. Might want to go to the doctor about it if it's interfering in your daily life that badly.

No. 188373

>>188367
It's always nice to have someone else to talk to when things like this happen, especially when you can't really trust your own mind. I think I'm going to take your advice and start writing down what happened and see if it really warrants getting this upset.

>>188369

Aaaaaay, was it the image or the screenshot name that gave it away?

God, I know exactly what you're talking about. I always feel so stupid after crying about something minor. I know that my feelings are basically fake news, but much like a crazy conspiracy theorist I ignore the lack of evidence and logic in favour of blindly trusting my emotions.

>>188370
I've suspected that I have some form of anxiety but never been diagnosed. I'm thinking of seeing a therapist and get a professional opinion.

No. 188374

>>188339
That sounds great! Even if late, being able to get an education is awesome. I mean, the rational part of me knows that not everyone is able to do stuff at the same time that others, so I'm happy I at least have the opportunity to go to college, but it's pretty hard for me to not feel my inferiority complex creeping up, and it's probably me being paranoid but I feel like an old hag with kids fresh out of high school being loud and shit.

No. 188376

>>188373
both!! i stopped scrolling when i saw the pic then saw the screenshot name and was like aw yiss

i honestly admire anyone who's working in restaurants so much because it seems so horribly stressful and i could never handle that. i can barely handle being on a crowded street because it feels so suffocating and i panic right there and just want to bulldoze over everything. anyone who works in a stressful environment like a restaurant is seriously like a warrior to me.

you'll do great; good luck with your work there and stay awesome, my fellow swe farmer.

No. 188429

>>188366
This makes me so angry. Not at you, but at your situation. They should not be bothering you when you are not work, especially about something like that. If you are not on the clock, you don't have to respond. If they can't respect that, they are not worth your energy.

No. 188434

File: 1493350971950.jpg (49.76 KB, 450x600, hilda1.jpg)

I am currently overweight due to health problems, nothing obese or anything, but my BMI is 26ish right now, so deffo into chubster territory. When we started dating, I wasn't stick thin or anything, but I was about 22lbs lighter.

I know my boyfriend loves and cares for me, and we've been together for more than 3 years now, but sometimes he jokes about my weight and when I think too much about it - which is often - I get very sad. Doesn't help that the same condition is making me lose hair like crazy (already lost half the volume of it), so I'm feeling just like a bald pig.

Today I went to the doctor and he said that I will probably start losing weight again once I do my tests and he gives me the right medicine.

So I hope.

I just wish I'd hear a little fewer jokes about my weight gain until then.

No. 188435

I've been feeling so ugly lately, I feel like my head has gotten a lot bigger for some reason even though I didnt gain weight. I miss dressing up, putting on lipstick and ''feeling myself'' my current boyfriend doesn't allow me to dress up or do anything when I go out on my own and it's really depressing at times, he says it's to avoid rapists but I know it's not just that, and his paranoia has made me paranoid…

No. 188436

>>188435
>my current boyfriend doesn't allow me to dress up
>doesn't allow
not really up to him is it

No. 188437

>>188435
Are u a 9y old that some one can "not allow me"? Dont be stupid. U cant give Up ur self for ur boy cos When he is gone What do u have? Stop that.

No. 188438

>>188435
Anon how can you even type this out and still be so unaware? Your boyfriend has massive issues and he has no right to project them on you.

No. 188440

>>188438
>>188437
>>188436
I don't know what to do about it farmers ;_; i'm extremely afraid of making him angry with me, I don't like saying it's an abusive relationship per se because I have a hard time believing I'm some sort of victim, I don't know.

No. 188441

>>188440
>boyfriend doesnt allow me to dress up to avoid rapists
thats not how rapists think
>afraid he will get angry with me
your boyfriend is the one you should be afraid of being a rapist if hes making comments like that and is aggressive


get out of your abusive relationship and stop being controlled by some loser for fucks sake. buy some pepper spray and get on with it.

No. 188442

>>188440

What's the problem of being a victim of abuse? It's not necesarrily something you choose or that you are at fault.

He seems controlling and possessive, and saying "I'm afraid of making him angry" is another huuuge red flag.

No. 188443

>>188442
I've just always thought a person as bad as me can't be victimized but you guys are right, I did try to talk some sense into him about how controlling he is and he just says he is this way because he loves me so much, typing this out makes me realize just how stupid I sound/am for staying in this relationship but I'm scared of what he'll do if I leave again, last time was pretty hellish.

No. 188444

>>188443

Just be safe, anon. I hope nothing happens. :(
I am tired of reading bad news about girls breaking up…

No. 188445

>>188443

Samefag to say that, as awkward as this sounds, if you have a strong/big relative, take them with you, even if they are "undercover" or something. I don't know how your bf is, but abusive motherfuckers can get violent. So better be "awkward" and safe than anything else

No. 188447

>>188443
What happened last time?

No. 188452

I feel terrible saying this but I am so fucking tired of dealing with suicidal people.
It feels like all my friends are hanging on by a thread and I'm their life support and it's too much for me.
I was suicidal for a long time too… I'm not anymore though. But their shit is basically making me feel that way again, I just can't handle it anymore. It's not like I can just drop them out of my life though, I know at the end of the day it isn't my responsibility but fuck I couldn't live with myself is something happened.
I don't know.
I feel so trapped and I care so much about them but they're bringing me down so badly, I'm selfish but I can't live like this..

No. 188461

>>188452
You have to let them know. You HAVE to, for your own sake. Tell them, if you can't tell them the specific reason why for fear of upsetting them, that you just need a break to work on yourself and to give you some space. If they respect YOU, they will. And being a very suicidal person myself, I personally know when I tell my friends about what I'm feeling, it can wear them down. I see it on their faces. I'm sure a lot of others know it too but want someone to assure them.

There's nothing wrong for wanting to distance yourself. You can still be there for them but not "all in", you don't necessarily have to drop them. Let them know for afar if it gets really serious you're just a phone call away. Try to avoid investing all your emotions in others, it will drain you dry. Take care of yourself first.

No. 188465

I'm really getting fed up with insecure crazies who need to put others down in order to feel better about themselves (she said on lolcow.farm, I know).
I never know how to deal with them apart from ignoring them, but it's always so hard since they're often so loud and make themselves impossible to ignore.

They always make you feel like shit about your choices and abilities, and while ignoring them makes them think they aren't getting to you, that doesn't stop you from feeling like shit and getting discouraged from pursuing your interests regardless.

It's not something I can help, and people who want to comfort me and make me feel better usually just make it worse with comments like 'you can't let them get to you' and 'you shouldn't listen to them'. I know, but it's hard not to even if I try because people will rarely dedicate themselves so much to lifting others up as these people do to bringing them down.

It's really sad because even if I can clearly see that someone has issues (redpillers, insecure not-like-other-girls a la mystery.jpg), having to listen to someone calling me stupid, weak and helpless for having a vagina and daring to enter a man's gaming/programming safe space 24/7 or daring to be ugly and exist does get you to doubt yourself eventually. Especially if you're constantly surrounded by people like that who all share in that opinion or don't want to concern themselves with the drama.
Groups that encourage women programmers usually just make matters worse, it only makes neckbeards angrier and those women programmer hackathons or whatever rarely do anything useful past talking about doing something useful. And of course men don't have the same problem because they have their bros patting their backs constantly.

I don't want to have to live in a bubble to avoid getting my self-esteem crushed, especially since everyone and their dog tells me to 'put myself out there'. They mean well, but they don't know what it's like to constantly have your work scrutinised by dozens of basement dwellers every day and be called a dumb whore for daring to get one string of code wrong. It's tiresome and I don't want to have to deal with insecure manchildren just for a privilege of doing what I like, because I'll grow to not like it at all if it means having to listen to men explaining to me how I don't REALLY want to do this, how I'm only interested in it for money, how I can't POSSIBLY do any of this, how I'm only here because I've tits, how I should frankly just give up and be a schoolteacher to little kids because 'I'd be more on their level', all day every day for the rest of my life.

At least incels only have it in their heads.

No. 188467

>>188465
Welcome to the rat race darling, there's no such thing as unearned respect.

Ironically it is your post that reeks from insecurity. My cousin is the same. She's constantly complaining about other people shitting on her work or ambitions. I will tell you the same I told her: they can never take away your achievements. The reason you can't ignore their voices is because you want to comply to their rules, you wan't to be accepted by them. But there's literally no need for that. You can be a successful individual without peer recognition.

The problems arise when you have nothing to be proud of. But that is entirely your responsibility.

the patriarchy is a myth to fuel a victim complex

No. 188472

File: 1493381481211.jpg (25.33 KB, 300x399, b5f150609690b25748ca86095e1486…)

>>188467
>Welcome to the rat race darling, there's no such thing as unearned respect

Respect =/= treating people like functional human beings. I don't respect you, but I'm not an insecure mouthbreather so I don't call you a dumb whore day in day out just because I'm threatened by your genitals.

>You can be a successful individual without peer recognition.

No, you really can't. A good relationship with your coworkers accounts for a good chunk of your performance.

>The problems arise when you have nothing to be proud of.

I don't have that problem. But you don't get to decide what I can and cannot be proud of.

>The reason you can't ignore their voices is because you want to comply to their rules, you want to be accepted by them

How dare I! And no, it's because it's hard to ignore autistic screeching when everyone normal is silent.

Please stop trying to psychoanalyse a person you've never met going off only one post, the real world isn't like your JoJo comics.

No. 188476

Dear lolcow;

I got super ridiculously drunk last night and totally embarrassed myself in front of all of my friends. It doesn't happen very often at all, and while I learned some lessons from it I still feel super ashamed.

How do I deal with being so stupid? I don't think I want to drink anymore. It just causes problems for me.

No. 188478

>>188465
In what setting are you experiencing this? I getting into programming and haven't seen any of this so far…

No. 188484

Bought myself my first beer in years. Maybe along with some benzos, it'll get the courage to finally kill myself. Maybe a little black out. Either way would be nice.

No. 188485

>>188443
As one abuse victim to another, I hope you can get out there soon. I understand what you mean about not feeling like its bad enough, or feeling like you deserve it. My ex would always warm me about other people hurting me to keep me from doing things, but looking back he was the only one ever hurting me. I cried every single day, because he would find some reason to scream at me. You should never fear your partner.
He was my first relationship, and shitty abuse-conditioning as a child made me unaware of how I was treated being a problem at first.
Life now is so much better! You can be happy' you can be yourself! You can be with someone that is happy with you being yourself! You deserve a good life.
My heart aches for you. I wish I could help you anon. Much love.

No. 188486

>>188484
I'm sorry life has taken you to this point. I understand. Do you have anyone to talk to?

No. 188487

>>188486
I don't. I've been depressed ans suicidal, for years. I'm sure even my psychiatrist is bored hearing me talk about it by now. I don't even feel like saying good bye or anything, it would be ridiculous. I just wish that it would end quicly and painlessly.
I hope at least I have helped some of you guys, I've tried to anyway, these last few weeks.
I'm just too tired to pretend I'm not thinking about it all the fucking time.

Thank you for your concern, it means a lot right now.

No. 188488

>>188487
Hey anon, I'm sorry to hear that.
Do you maybe have a throwaway skype/discord, do you need someone to listen besides your psychiatrist?
I think about suicide all the time too, and I've harmed myself to get it out of my head, I know it sucks having such dark thoughts and feeling like a burden to everyone.

No. 188489

File: 1493391275338.jpg (129.16 KB, 924x976, 1491290227213.jpg)

>>188156
Your family sounds like a group of non-whites that did everything they could to integrate and saw that the white people that the spent so much time placating to still hates them.

No. 188490

I need to stop frequenting spaces full of the kind of people that disgust me or make me feel angry but my stupid curious compulsion keeps me coming back. My latest are 'pick up' spaces for men where guys aim to sleep with as many women as possible but any woman who's slept with more than one or two men is a slut. Not only are the double standards insane but I never realised before now how disgusted I am by the idea of being with a man who has slept around.

No. 188493

>>188472
Haha, exactly like my cousin. Do you happen to be named after a poet's muse?

Keep blaming the world for your hardships. This divides successful from bitter women.

No. 188496

File: 1493394415961.png (433.83 KB, 539x746, lel.png)

>>188493
>Keep blaming the world for your hardships. This divides successful from bitter women.
Wowee, thanks for the tip, Buzzfeed!

No. 188497

>>188478
My country's local forum and irl from some other interns.

No. 188500

>>188496
is that infographic supposed to be ironic

No. 188501

>>188500
No, it's just silly

No. 188505

I tried to kill myself today, but I chickened out and called for help.

Regret not doing it now

No. 188507

File: 1493400840557.jpg (13.27 KB, 225x225, 1469047073847.jpg)

>insurance got cancelled
>can't afford my meds anymore
>terrible withdrawal
>suicidal thoughts returned
>fucked my midterms up
>literally everything is going wrong in life
>uncontrollable anger

No. 188508

>>188505
Tried to too. Have the belt marks and petechias but I never got to the right placement where blood is cut-off from the brain but the push on the windpipe is not too painful.

No. 188511

>>188505
>>188507
>>188508
everything is going to be okay anons :)

No. 188518

>>188511

No it won't, it didn't after 27 years it will not now or ever.

No. 188522

>>188518
not with that attitude

No. 188523

>>188505
>>188507
>>188508

Please, hang in there. Also, if possible, seek professional help. I know people that got their life turned around when they were 32ish, so there is hope! Please please please. I know this sounds cheesy, but there are a lot of people that are going to miss you, even if at first it doesn't look so.
Please, seek help. :(

No. 188524

>>188507
Misery loves company.
This was my exact situation when I tried desperately to get help last year from a really bad breakdown/relapse. My insurance didn't really cover any of the costs of the medication I needed plus there were no generic versions.

Thanks to that I completely fell back on binge eating to cope, and gained 80 pounds within a year. I sought therapists, but my insurance didn't cover any experienced ones or psychologists. I got stuck with a 300 pound social worker who bailed on my second appointment at the office to go get fast food after I'd waited for her for 2 hours. I left her office crying on the verge of killing myself and never went back.

I'm marginally better now in that I don't want to die, but I'm still littered with rage.

No. 188525

>>188523
I'm guetting help, anon. I've been for years and nothing has change. I'm almost 30, wthout a degree, unable to support myself. Every attempt at a normal life is a reminder that I'm utter shit and time passing (as a woman) makes it worse.
Sometimes, I'm so desperate I thik I would be better off becoming the silent waifu maid of a robot. At least, maybe they'd be some of sense of purpose?

No. 188534

>>188525
Have you thought about camming? I know cam girls get shit on here, but I don't think there's any shame in it -especially- if you're mentally ill and struggle to support yourself otherwise. It gives you freedom from the stress and obligation of a typical job, monetary stability, and compliments to help you feel better. You're in control and can just sit there and get paid. Get a Lovense toy if you decide to do it, thing pays for itself.

No. 188537

>>188525

I can act normal but I'm just broken inside.

>>188524
>>188523

Being from a 3rd world country sucks, I tried therapy, meds even spend some time in the loony bin nothing worked. I think my brain knows my genes are defective so it's keeping me out of life to prevent me from having an offspring or something. I spent what little money I had to get myself fixed but it just doesn't work, I'm just not meant having a normal life I guess. Oh well, probably only gonna be able to handle a few more years at this rate

>tfw literally going insane from not sleeping for 4 days and still can't sleep because of withdrawal

No. 188538

>>188485
Thank you Anon, I'm sorry you had to go through this. I'm dumb but I can't ever seem to think he's doing this out of malice, he's always going on about how much he loves me and how no one would ever love me as much as he does and they would leave me. Having went through a lot of abandonment I wholeheartedly believe him.. oh well :( I'm glad you managed to get out of this shitty cycle anon

No. 188560

Schools been kind of rough lately. My grades are making me a bit anxious and I'm starting to have doubts on whether or not I'd even be able to transfer into the school I want to go to.

No. 188565

>>188534
>become camgirls
Anon, why not onto the street corner directly? sarcastic

Common, you didn't actually just mean that, have you?
It would only make them worse for sure.

No. 188566

>>188537
> I think my brain knows my genes are defective so it's keeping me out of life to prevent me from having an offspring or something. I spent what little money I had to get myself fixed but it just doesn't work, I'm just not meant having a normal life

Weirdly enough that's exactly my thought. 1St world country anon here btw but I'm exactly the same.

No. 188568

>>188566

Well kinda glad to see I'm not the only one thinking like that I guess. Man it's just one thing after another I think I have food poisoning now but not sure if it's the food or drug withdrawal causing vomiting and really bad bloating.

No. 188570

>>188534
You're suggesting mentally compromised and vulnerable women expose themselves to opportunistic men for the sake of money, an action that could jeopardize their futures and alienate them from friends and family.

It's very shameful. There's a reason why so many go to lengths to hide it.
And as we learned from /ourwhore/ Mystery.jpg, camming to make any kind of decent money requires time spent constantly talking to gross horndogs for hours a day with no days off. The "compliments" are just means to an end to get their clothes off so the men can have some fresh meat to fap to.

No. 188604

>>188476
As someone with this problem myself, don't drink. Ask yourself when you go out, "am I going to sufficiently occupied around these people that I don't drink?"

No. 188607

>>188570
The point is that it shouldn't be shameful, or jeopardise her future, because it's not a shameful thing to do.

No. 188609

>>188461
Thank you so much anon, this really helped me. I just need a little positivity in my life.

No. 188610

>>188607
But that's what happens, so don't suggest it.

No. 188612

>>188610
I didn't suggest it. Different anons, pal.

No. 188614

>>188476
Well… it happens to almost everyone. Just laugh it off, unless you did something actually bad.

No. 188620

>alone for a year
>Meet someone incredible
>Fall in love
>Can't be with them for a myriad of reasons

FML

No. 188622

>>188476
Pft, kid's stuff anon.

>17 and new to college

>wanted to impress older college friends from a club
>steal a bottle of parent's liquor and go to party
>everything starts out great
>they bust out mixers
>everyone is stupid drunk
>drink a bit too much and didn't slow down
>apparently they invited a guy that I had a crush on who I saw a movie with once
>apparently I did pathetic shit like grab onto his leg trying to get him to stay/hug
>apparently I attempted "sleeping" in the kitchen sink
>remember blacking out on floor in front of door
>wake up on same spot of floor next morning
>everyone is acting silent/weird with me
>friend later tells me they felt sorry that I blackedout on floor and took me to their bed
>proceeded to power vomit food and mixer all over bed
>I went to bathroom to clean myself and then hobbled back to sleep on original floor spot
>look closer at my hair
>it's been dyed a different color from mixer powders from my vomit
>friend had to clean vomit off the bed
>apologize, the next day I replace her sheets and buy them febreeze

From that point on they treated me different and I later found out they were talking shit behind my back at the college club, shit that wasn't really deserved. I didn't browse 4chan at the time (2009) but in hindsight a lot of the insults they used were from board culture at the time.

Basically anon, you really didn't go as hardcore drunk as you think. Lots of people have embarrassing drunk stories. Just apologize and move on. If your friends are any kind of real friends they'll forgive that. But yeah, don't drink anymore also. Worked for me!

No. 188625

>>188622
That seems ridiculous… people have done so much worse at parties, especially college.
If that's all that really happened those people are really dicks or uptight assholes. So you embarrassed yourself and were sick, big fucking deal… Sorry that happened to you anon.

No. 188637

I'm really starting to hate texting people.
I'm always over or under reacting to things people send me. I get really paranoid and irrationally angry about stuff people send me that I somehow read as being passive aggressive, but I jokingly dismiss stuff that's actually supposed to be serious.
It's actually caused a lot of problems lately. Maybe I'm just retarded idk.

No. 188640

>>188625
They were kids of affluent parents who wanted to put on airs that they were more mature. Which is pretty ironic considering the smack they talked.
If I knew how they were going to abandon me and talk shit like that afterwards I would've just told them to get their parents to buy them new bedsheets the next time they're sent their 'allowance' checks.

But anyway, thank you.

No. 188651

File: 1493445804751.jpg (12.33 KB, 480x360, 18156994_262949364175898_89139…)

fuck man my mom decided to go and pick up my nephew back home from the province and i swear to god i dont want that child near me she's calling me mean about it

i dont like children

i hate myself

why can't i be normal like my family and love children like them

No. 188654

>>188651
Children are fucking horrible and disgusting.

Sage for no contribution

No. 188655

>>188651
How old is he?
And well no offense but he's family. Sounds you like you live with your mom too so it's not like you have to take care of him much so? I get not liking kids but it's your nephew…

No. 188658

>>188476
Lol I puked 11 times in my friends hands and didn't remember shit the next day

They still love me

No. 188666

My ex and I have been split up for a year now (and a few months before that he was very distant so it feels like more than a year) and since January he's been actively trying to be my friend again after I spent most of 2016 begging him to be with him still freezing me out and I'm not really sure what caused that change? But anyway we've been talking pretty much every day and we saw each other for the first time in over a year a few weeks ago and it was great, solid fun and not weird at all, but it did remind me of the chemistry we have as people which is pretty rare seeing as we're both not great with people.

He's been talking about how he's excited for his future sex life and asking me for advice on how to pick up girls and I didn't feel jealous, I've casually dated other people in the past year, but after seeing him he went out of the country for a month and doesn't have wifi so we can't talk and ughughugh. My head just keeps visualizing him fucking all these random girls and I'm really not digging it, not to mention I miss talking to him which is a weird feeling considering over the last year I forgot what that felt like since I just assumed he was gone forever.

Realistically I know he's probably not fucking his way through European countries considering he's socially awkward, with his family, and might be a hot 10 to me but my friends rate him at about a 6-7 with his dorky, tall, bony, pale with acne self, but it's still popping into my head and it's driving me crazy. The thought of him with someone else makes me want to gouge my eyes out, which is pretty fucking stupid considering I was fine with giving him girl advice before I saw him, have openly flirted with and gone on a few dates with other people and still am, and the reason we broke up was because our relationship wasn't happy in the end so I've filled in the blanks and assumed that means he didn't love me and probably never did, so here I am, making an ass out of myself again and having feelings stirred up for someone who has 0 for me. I've been drowning my sorrows in lolcow, digiorno and tinder. Good times.

No. 188667

Couldn't kill myself last night. I got to the point of almost passing out but no further.
Why is it so fucking hard.

No. 188668

>>188667
Method? curious

No. 188669

>>188668
Strangulation with a cloth belt with a spoon to tighten the knot. Couldn't block off the carotide properly tho. Maybe I'll try semi suspension next. I've tried before but only got near once and woke up twitching on the floor.

No. 188671

>>188669
please seek help anon

No. 188675

>>188669
If you really want to end it, I hope at least you did your best to enjoy life as much as possible. Even when you don't have money, there are ways to try to make your brain produce the maximum amount of dopamine.

No. 188681

>>188667
It's not hard to die, there are millions of combinations of ways to kill die. You just don't want to die enough and that's why you're keeping yourself alive, whatever fragment of hope you have left somewhere inside of you is why it failed. We are all going to die in the end anyway, what's the point in doing it now. Just wait it out, it will eventually happen, just try and enjoy life in between and make the best of it, put that motivation in to something you can be proud of, work for something you can be remembered for or just write a few songs and become the next morrissey.

No. 188682

>>188669
If you weren't a total pussy, you would use a knife or find a gun.

No. 188684

>>188682
Eurofags can't find guns and stabbing yourself is a good recipee to suffer without it being lethal. 10/10 bait.

No. 188686

File: 1493481702645.jpeg (61.99 KB, 500x570, e10e4decf34dc5333e527e1374ec7a…)

I'm at my wit's end and I swear if I don't vent right now I'll fucking lose it.

Last night bf tells me he wants to go to this LARP festival today when we both share a day off. I think these events are interesting, but I don't have anything nice to wear. And because of depression/apathy over the past year I've gained a shitton of weight and don't fit into any passable clothes I could've worn. Bf bought me this potato sack LARP dress the first time we met, but I refused saying in addition to looking like an obeast nun, the dress had sleeves made with unbreathable fabric and I was not walking around a southern, treeless field in all black like that all day. He was pushy but no. Just no. NOOOO.
He doesn't understand the deep humiliation and guilt I feel. I literally don't want to be out in public aside from work because I feel AND look fat. I'm starting to avoid people if I can. And if I have to be outside without makeup, my hair looking like shit, and my fat clothes it feels like a death sentence.

He's all like "don't worry i love u" which is so fucked because he's implying that his love should be good enough to trump whatever the fuck I think about myself. And as long as I have his approval, shit's good.
Well, it's not. And it really offended me. It feels like something he says just to get me to shut up about my problems because he doesn't like handling my frustrations and sadness.

Anyway, we're discussing this clothes issue at 2am, and then he tells me in addition he wants to attend their shitty tailgate brunch and it starts at 8am meaning I'd at least have to be up at 6am to get ready and make the drive there. Lolno, it's my "Sunday" and I want to sleep in. I work second shift too so I rarely ever get up before 10am.
>fall asleep around 4am
>bf gets the message and doesn't wake me until 9am

The decision is I just drop him off. No time for makeup–threw my hair in a ponytail, and put on my fat clothes thinking all I had to do was drive and not interact with anyone.
But before we left, I wanted to stop at our apartment's office to get the Overtone hair dye I've been waiting on for days (y'know, since I'm doing the favor of driving him). Tracking says it was delivered yesterday at 11:35am. Bf checked our mailbox last night and it wasn't there, meaning it was in office.

I like getting bf to do it because the staff is very incompetent in keeping packages and we have to be extremely firm in staying while making them go back again to check. I can't deal with their shit and usually after they tell me 'no' the first time I give up.
They often claim they "don't have packages" even when they do and they're just extremely unorganized or too lazy to look thoroughly. There's a black lady in particular who is extra worse and incompetent than the others–makes the most absurd excuses to wipe the office of the responsibility.

So I pull up to the office about ready to tell bf to go inside but then I see the hours sign.
On Saturdays they open at 10.
Sundays at 12.
I thought today was Sunday because it is my "Sunday" so I start flipping the fuck out because I thought they were closed, but they actually weren't.
So not only would I have to deal with the incompetent staff later, I'd have to risk having an awkward interaction with them as I contest the location of my package.
Bf doesn't say ANYTHING and just lets me carry on the belief that today is Sunday.
Just so he could get out of it.

~20 minutes into the drive I realize it's not Sunday. I ask him why he didn't say anything, "oh i thought the same." Motherfucker, bullshit.
On top of that my bf sucks at giving directions (he doesn't drive so he doesn't understand what I need from him), paired with the anxiety of other dumb morning commuters on the road…it just makes for a very flustered and agitated drive. He screws up at least once, because he never bothers to google the destination to make sure he knows the way first.

Finally I made it and go to turn into the park for the festival before realizing I see police lights on and a bridge. A one-way bridge. Meaning I'd have to go into the event while I look like shit!
I start literally whimpering about how I'm going to get out and my bf was an asshole to me about the anxiety attack.
"U COULDA WENT WITH ME U KNO"
Like how fucking insensitive is that? He seriously believes I hate fun.
Lol.
it's like, yeah bf, I totally want to do not fun things and isolate myself in the apartment because I'm a healthy person right now with no image problems. Yeah okay! I even told him "Don't you realize the terrible image problems I've been having? You yourself think I'm fat."
No response, as usual.

So he leaves and I have to interact with staff to get the police to block traffic on the other side of the bridge so I could leave.
On my way back (30 minutes) I was crying the entire way because of what my bf said. Knowing that normal people are out enjoying the day and having fun.
While I'm a pasty fat vampire who is miserable and angry.

At that point I figure I may as well go to the office to try to retrieve the package so I can make myself happy and occupied with fixing my hair.
Wouldn't you know? The incompetent black bitch is in there, meaning I ain't getting my shit today.
>"Hi, here to get a package for 2619."
>"OH YUH UH UH, U-ASAY 2519?
>"…2619."
>"HO UHMM OKAY DEN"
>so she hobbles to the back office where they toss the packages
>looks for two minutes
>"UH DERE NUTTIN HER"
>"The tracking says delivered yesterday at 11:35am."
>"OH DEYUH JUST SAYS DAT. DEYUH SAY DAT DEN DEYUH DONT ACTUALLY DELIVEER IT."
>"So…you're saying the scanners and post workers are liars?"
>"UAHSEE DE NUMBERING HERAH? WE KEEP DEM IN DA ORDER N I DUN SEE YAWS."
>even though whenever we find the packages they're never in the correct numbered spot
>"SO SOWWEH"
>"I bet you are."
I gave her the worst death glare and left. I just wanted that stupid hair dye.
So now I have to go back later.

Texted bf to tell him stupid black bitch has my package in limbo but he hasn't responded.
Probably ignoring me.
I fucking can't take it.

No. 188687

File: 1493482642292.jpg (23.43 KB, 264x239, iX9lSgZ.jpg)

>depression kicking super hard the last few months because i'm getting old and i'm still an anxious autist who cannot afford psych to improve in the least
>trying my best but failing
>suicidal instincts raising
>mom notices something is wrong and tells me to talk to her honestly and stop hiding it like i've done since the last 10+ years
>"stop hiding everything in yourself, that's not a good thing, talk to me and i'll try to help you"
>fuck it
>decide to be honest with my mom about how much i hate what her bordeline paranoic overprotecting has turned me into
>tell her how she killed all my dreams one by one because she did not want me "getting hurt", tell her she made all my friends leave me because no one was "good enough for me". How she basically made me be alone all my life, and i barely talk to anyone anymore and i'm a friendless loser in a small town with 0 opportunity who is afraid to go outside thanks to her.
>tell her i wanna leave the house and town because i'm not comfortable living with certain family members who did bad things to me
>tell her i've wanted and tried to kill myself for over 10 years
>tell her that as soon as i get my license i want to leave to have any kind of opportunity
>tell her what the bullying at school was like and how it transformed me with 0 help from anyone (she didn't believe in psychologists because those are for crazy people, so never went to one back then)
>basically tell her all the truth hoping we could have a heart to heart and fix some things and understand each other better because i know deep down she's not a bad mom
>feeling liberated for the first time in years
>she dismisses me completly, and tells me she cannot be a bad mom because she buys me things and i've offended her by telling her that and that i shoudln't have said any of it
>she leaves and acts like we've never had that conversation becuse "i cannot possibly feel that"
>still want to improve by myself and get out, but feel super beaten because i though i could finally be honest with someone and i realized i basically have no one to talk to freely

The realization that I cannot speak freely with even my family hit me like a ton of bricks, it's basically what i feared and why i didn't talk about it with anyone about it and it beacame true.
Hoping i can get out of this slope soon and improve myself, even if it's alone, but fuck.

No. 188688

>>188687
>tells me she cannot be a bad mom because she buys me things
>acts like we've never had that conversation becuse "i cannot possibly feel that"
My mom's the same.

If it's any consolation, I admire your balls anon.

No. 188689

>>188686
Sounds like you need to dump him and get on a diet/excercise plan.

No. 188692

>>188689
I did a water fast for about three days just to get a headstart, and now I'm keeping myself to one dinnertime meal a day under 1000 (I'm short and have an absurdly low BMR even for an obeast).
I did it before, and I know I can, but it just took me so long to lose the weight before and it feels so overwhelming knowing I have to start all over.

Not really sure what I want to do about exercise yet. As I've mentioned, the thought of being in public horrifies me and I live in a really popular place. One of the reasons I lost weight well before was that I lived across from my college's track so I would jog late at night and be noticed by no one.

I wish I knew what dance routine Pixy did. I need help coming up with some kind of cardio routine that can be done in an extremely small apartment space. Like no bigger than 6 ft by 6 ft.

No. 188697

>>188692
Good job then, anon! Sounds like you're going in the right direction. Look for simple things on YT maybe? Even if it's just push ups and lifting jugs of water or something.

No. 188698

File: 1493485531214.gif (991.81 KB, 500x278, fuck.gif)

>>188687
>decide to be honest with my mom about how much i hate what her bordeline paranoic overprotecting has turned me into
>she dismisses me completly, and tells me she cannot be a bad mom because she buys me things and i've offended her by telling her that and that i shoudln't have said any of it
>she leaves and acts like we've never had that conversation becuse "i cannot possibly feel that"

fuck, this sounds like my grandma lol. i've been living with her since i was young, because my mom was killed & i had no other family. she's a paranoid narcissist (armchair diagnosis by me) and she really fucked me up. college did a lot to turn me around, but i'm in the last couple weeks of my final semester now, and i'm terrified to go back home.

aside from that, i keep binge eating to cope with depression & stress, which is also really fucking me up. i'm leaving to go do an internship abroad this summer and i'm fucking terrified. i'm such a goddamn awkward sperg, even if i do speak the language. i was doing such a good job at losing the weight earlier in the semester, but now i can't do anything but sleep, eat, and play video games. i hate leaving my dorm because i hate being seen by other people. and i'm not even a hamplanet, i could lose the weight in a few months, i just keep self-sabotaging. i'm going to try to lose the weight when i go abroad. i'm terrified of buying things at stores & eating in unfamiliar environments, so i'm hoping that the stress & starvation will help me get back on track, maybe. idk.

thanks for listening, sorry for the blogpost, i'll keep everyone in this thread in my thoughts. wishing the best for all of you.

No. 188699

>>188692
Good work anon! I'm sure you'll get to your goal.
As for cardio to do you could try the blogilates ones, they are pretty intense and some of them barely need any space (i do them in a very small room).
Also, for a long time i did TheFitnessMarshall dance routine (+ blogilates) and i lost a shitton of weight. They are dance videos to popular songs (raging from simple to more "intense") and they are done on the go and normally you don't need a lot of space (you can adjust it i.e. walking in place instead of walking forward or whatever). They are also incredibly fun and quite beginner friendly.

>>188688
Sorry about your mom, it really sucks when they are like that. But thank you, it does mean a lot!

>>188698
>i keep binge eating to cope with depression & stress, which is also really fucking me up.
>now i can't do anything but sleep, eat, and play video games.
fuck, anon are you me because same here. I was in a such a great weight and exercising regularly and the last few months i gained like 5 kg because i am eating my feelings away, too depressed to exercise and drown my thoughs with vidya and netflix and shit to make them background noise instead of dealing with them. I feel you.
It's really shitty being brought up by people who think they are doing the best for you when in reality they are slowly fucking you over for their own calmness of mind.
I really hope you achieve what you want and i'm sure you'll do fine in your internship. The fact that you even took the step to improve yourself is an amazing thing, so keep it up because you are doing great!

No. 188700

>>188699
>blogilates
Woah thanks anon, never heard of this before but the website looks great.
You da best <3

No. 188702

My friends dropped me for no reason. We used to be together everyday and go out and do fun stuff but this is all over now. We used to have a chat group where we talked to each other and planned movie-nights and so on, and now they made a new one without me. I've always been a loner so this doesn't affect me much, but not only did they stop talking to me, they are also cold/borderline rude when we do meet by chance at uni. Even my best guy friend, who used to be close to me and tell me his personal problems is suddenly a stranger. Just some months ago he chose some shitty subjects just so we could be together in the same course and now this, wtf?

No. 188705

My bfs father is a aggressive asshole and àbusive af. I honestly expected him not to beat his kids after they turn to adults and that he changed. Guess that's never happening.

No. 188706

I wish I could snap my fingers and be a new person. Someone not spending all my time doing shit on the internet, wasting my life away and hating it.

No. 188707

File: 1493493559116.png (187.78 KB, 500x375, tumblr_mknk1cDReQ1rp0n56o1_500…)

I feel like I quit my longest friendship I had with somebody. I met my former friend when I was 16 (will be 25 in a few months), we finished school together and still had contact when moved to different places. We experienced a lot of cool stuff together BUT there has been always one thing that bothered the hell out of me and which got worse the older we got. She made it sometimes suuuper difficult to stay regular in touch, I don't have to talk to people 24/7 but I felt like was always the one who tried to bring us closer again, not only to find a way to phone but also to meet.

Sometimes we managed to see us each other but sometimes I planned something and she canceled shortly before it. At some point I though "well, when she wants to talk, then she will contact me". She did call me or texted me but it was always after a long while and those "omg I'm so sorry I forgot about you, I'm so busy" and so on.

Anyways, to celebrate our long friendship, I planned a trip a trip to Berlin to see one of my fave bands. She has been always down to see concerts with me and we had our first travel together to Berlin, so this was perfect to us. And followed shortly after that, I asked her to see another concert with me. She agreed with both of it and bought the tickets, got us a nice place to stay and also ordered the plane tickets. I paid for everything and she told me she will give me the money when we meet. I'm fine with it when I know that I get my money.

BUT one day before our trip to Berlin she messaged me that she is sick and she couldn't go to Berlin. We talked a few days earlier and she already mentioned feeling sick but ok enough to go. But she canceled, only a few hours before everything should start. I was like "???? why now and not earlier??" Luckily I got another friend to come with me, but I had to find a new way to get us to Berlin, which costed me a lot more money than I planned. I went to Berlin with the other friend, everything was nice. Back home I remembered her about the upcoming concert, she said she would go even thought she still felt sick.

So at the day of the second concert I got another message of her that she couldn't go because she was still sick. And I thought honestly, why THE HELL was she canceling again and why isn't she just honest to tell me that she couldn't do any of those things. I don't mind of people being sick, it happens, but you know those kind of things so much earlier and everything costed me so much more than I planned (about 500 euro lmao). her last email was about how sorry she was and that she will DEF go to the next concert with me for sore :)))!!1 Idk, even thought I didn't got my money back at this point, I didn't felt like answering her because I was just too - disappointed that she cancels so many times and that it was always haha next time!

It's been almost 5 months since her e-mail and I don't see myself contacting her again because I realized that I don't feel like talking to her again.

it's been just all those small things that bothered me and make just fuck off with the last two events. Fuck that.

Also, she didn't paid me anything even thought she said she would for the canceled stuff. I gave her my bank account contacts but she never transferred anything to me.

>sorry for the long rambling but I had to get it off my chest DAMN

No. 188713

>>188686
K I finally calmed the fuck down.

>1. Bf called me like a few hours after I dropped him off to pick him back up because he knew I was sad plus it was so hot at the field he wasn't feeling good.

>2. Made bf go back into office to get hair dye. Lo and behold, the package is suddenly there!
>3. Going to go get pho at a new Vietnamese restaurant then go on a walk in the park with bf once sun goes down a bit

I'm waiting for the dye to set in my hair rn. What a day…

No. 188714

File: 1493499957688.gif (2.56 MB, 464x256, john gi.gif)

When I was about 13-14 years old I used to watch the most fucked up films. I was an emo edge lord but they just fascinated me. If the film was banned in a country I would have found it and watched it just to see how fucked up it was.
Gladly i'm past that now, I'm 20 now and these films are starting to haunt me. About 95% of them I only watched once since it was just out of curiosity but images of these films keep coming to mind and fucking with me.
I've never been okay with rape but I could watch it if it was in a film (Knowing it was all fake etc). These days if a film even hints at it, it makes me so uncomfortable I have to turn it off. I have no idea why i'm so sensitive to this stuff now, nothing bad happened to me to make me feel so bad about stuff like murder, rape, gore.
I just wish I never put hours in watching and finding those kind of films to watch, i didn't think it would but it took 6 years for them to start effecting me.

No. 188715

>>188714
Out of curiosity, which films did you watch?

Since I was little I've had this thing where I just /had/ to research any disturbing film or whatever to find out what made it so abhorrent. I never watched them myself because I've never been into watching horror movies and shit but just reading about the plot and the scenes fascinated me. Hearing how you ended up makes me grateful I never had the guts nor the will/desire to watch any of them.

Have you tried talking about the content with someone you know/trust? If you're traumatized by them now, it would probably be best if you could put your thoughts into words and share the burden with someone so you won't have to be alone about it anymore.

No. 188721

Efexxor induced insomnia is killing me lately, I haven't slept in more 30 hours yet I'm not sleepy at all.

No. 188727

>>188715
It's been so long i don't remember them all by name. The "classic" one is "A Serbian Film", it's all levels of fucked. I don't really want to explain it since i know if i went into detail i run the risk of being banned.
Another is "The Last House on the Left", I used to love "I spit on your grave" due to the woman getting her own back but i can never get through the first part of the film anymore. Also "VHS" it's a good film but something about it bugs me these days.

There's one that is on the tip of my tongue that is the one that is messing with me the most, if it's any help is has a very graphic rape scene in a red corridor (only thing i visually remember, sorry)

I can talk to my bf about it but i'm not sure if he'll get why it's messing with me now of all time, i mean i don't even get why. It might be my heightened anxiety lately. It's not like i have a fear of these things happening to me or anything, it's so strange it took about 6 years to bug me.

No. 188729

>>188727
The one with the red corridor is Irreversible. And I kind of know what you mean actually. back when I first watched The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, I was like 16 and the rape scene barely bothered me. Now that seconds-long scene in V/H/S where some dudes grab a girl and lift her shirt up makes me squeamish. I'm also more anxious these days so you may be on to something with that.

No. 188730

>>188714
>>188729

Maybe it's not related to any film, anons. Maybe it's just that your empathy developed. When I was a teen, I would see all sorts of fucked up shit on 4chan and it wouldn't affect me too much, but today it does (not much because I'm not that sensitive, but I can see the difference).

Some teenagers simply don't have enough maturity to shocked by certain things.

No. 188731

>>188730
Ahh that makes sense! thanks anon!
I thought it had something to do with maturity but I haven't changed much from 14 year old tbh. I still like my gore films but it's like the other anon said where in VHS a woman gets her shirt lift up etc, stuff like that bothers me so much now.

No. 188732

>>188727
'A Serbian Film' was made for shock value by a famous Serbian director's edgy son. It has no real plot or purpose and is much hated in its country of origin because of its name and substance. It's pretty much the cinematic equivalent of bad guro hentai on 4chan.

No. 188733

>>188732
Yeah when i think of it, it's super tacky and tries way too hard to be edgy. But it sure does it's job. Some scenes and just laughable but the bulk of it leaves a horrible image in your mind.

No. 188734

My parents are very mentally slow and it's frustrating. They think & talk like the old idiots I see on FB and article comment sections. To make matters worse they actually GO ON those sites.
My sister even agrees that their mental health has been deteriorating. I swear they weren't this dumb 5 years ago. They're only in their early 50's but their brain is acting like its 65. At the very least I hope it's because of their obesity so I can pray it's not genetic.

No. 188749

sigh…

My ex has been harassing me for months. We had a long LDR and he's been threatening me since last year, but it's gotten worse in the last couple months. Since he lives in another country he can't really do anything to me and he's broke as fuck so he can't really travel here to break my neck as he wishes he could. He's threatened me and my friends, said he'd post nudes everywhere, called me the most horrible things; I've blocked him and I'm not on social media, but he keeps creating fake profiles and emails to reach me. The saddest part is that I never cheated on him or treated him badly on purpose. Meanwhile he cheated on me several times, got a bad STD from one of his one night stands and even brought a woman to live with him during our relationship. So yeah.
I think he's lost it as he has said insane things, probably just to have a reason to offend and hurt me, such as "you were the baby my mom was supposed to have but it died!!!1 why didnt you want to be my sibling, why did you leave me there to suffer1!!?"
I wonder when this nightmare will end. I've always been depressed but suicidal thoughts have really worsened lately. The thought that maybe "my" nudes are out there scare me a lot (I say "my" because he doesn't have any nude pictures of me with my face in them IIRC, but he could simply edit one).
I contacted his country's police but they can't do much unless MY local police does, and local police won't because I live in hell where no one cares about internet crimes unless you're famous or rich.

I want to die.
If anyone has ever gone through something similar, and survived, please let me know. I may really kill myself because of this and I know I don't deserve this.

No. 188752

>>188749
That sounds so bad, anon. I really feel for you. It's good that you are aware that you don't deserve that, never let him guilt trip you. Please don't kill yourself or ruin your life because of him. As hard as it is, keep ignoring his provocations and focus on your mental health. Have you talked about this with anyone? Friends or family?

No. 188760

>>188752
Thank you, anon. Yes, I've told my close friends about it (they've received threats too). I feel guilty because they've been involved in this. I can't really tell my mom because she'd have a stroke or something; I'm sure she wouldn't take it very well. If he had money to come to my country and city, yes, I definitely would tell her, but I'd rather spare her atm.

No. 188769

>>188727
I googled a Serbian film and yeah..ew. The stuff with Petar and the newborn is way too much.

No. 188771

>>188172
Your nation is literally founded on illegal immigration.

No. 188772

>>188265
>It's like: So you could endlessly shit talk a person I loved and was with for years for your own sake
>your own sake
I'm sorry, but are you retarded?

No. 188774

My meds have stopped working, I've gotten progressively worse with my anxiety and depression, I've lashed out at my friends and they don't want to be around me, which I guess isn't too surprising considering I'm borderline suicidal (honestly if I hadn't had an attempt before and didn't know what a shithole the mental hospital is, I probably would have swallowed a bunch of pills right now).
I'm trying to get help, but it's expensive and the new drugs I need have to be ordered. I just want to get better and I hate myself and how sick I am but I feel like I'm just such a mess and a burden and everyone would be happier if I were gone.
My best friend wont even reply to me when I ask if she'd care if I died and my other friend said it's just that she doesn't know how to react but I honestly feel like no one would notice or care.

No. 188780

Back when I was 15, I started writing a novel for National Novel Writing Month. It was a goofy urban fantasy about a warlock that lives in Vancouver who has to take down an evil centuries-old cult with his friends. I had my own magic system planned out, and it was full of monsters and dragons and homonculi and creepy cults and vampires and stuff and was like ~30,000 words long and I ended up deleting the whole thing on a whim out of insecurity because I told my friends about parts of it and they made fun of it. I randomly remember it every now and then and I get so sad that I can never read it again. It wasn't great of course but I think I only went downhill creatively since then, and there were some passages that I remember really liking that I would love to go back and read. I don't remember much of the story anymore and I even forgot the main character's name, which makes me sad because I got pretty attached to him.

No. 188783

>>188727
I'm the one you replied to and I was 500% expecting you to say A Serbian Film. It was one of the films I researched back then. (I might look into the other ones you mentioned since I hadn't heard about any of them, though like I said I'd never watch them.)

Like another anon said, ASF is just a load of attempted shock value of no real substance and no thought put into it beyond that. It got the recognition that the edgelord intended though, so I guess he'd be satisfied. Genuinely feel bad for Serbian people because of it though. Unflattering title to say the least.

No. 188785

>>188774
You're in a tough spot right now anon, but things can only get better. Try not to be hard on yourself.

No. 188793

File: 1493553758048.jpg (28.79 KB, 480x561, 1447347142833.jpg)

I'm really not into my hobbies (anime, tv shows and reading manga and some novels) now as much as I used to. The thing is, I don't know if it's temporary because I don't have a lot of free time and I'm kind of depressed and if I'll go back to reading manga and watching anime like I used to until I started college or if it's just that I became really picky. I'm really into video games and the fact that I have more money now than I used to makes me buy more and more video games (mostly on the 3DS). Now my video game backlog is pretty long.

So long story short, I'm kind of poor and want to save money. I'm not sure if I should try to sell all the stuff I'm not into anymore or not. For example, last time I did it it was because of an emergency and I kind of regret selling my volumes of Gintama even though I watched the anime and it was a bit redundant, I don't want to regret selling my stuff again. But I really feel guilty about my stupid purchasing habits though, and maybe getting rid of a good part of my collection will help me stop buying more and more useless books and DVD sets. I'm really hesitating.

No. 188796

>>188714
I could have written this myself, it's kind of haunting to see such a similar account. Sometimes I will be doing something completely normal and suddenly remember that guro manga involving a blender that didn't affect me at the time, and I'll be upset for the rest of the day. There are probably lots of us, I blame /b/.
It's even weirder because I still have nostalgia for that time and remember loving those things and so part of me wants to fire up The Guinea Pig Series or whatever, but I couldn't even make it through Jessica Jones due to the references to her rape and even watching Pacific Rim I get so sad thinking of all the homes and lives that the robots are accidentally trampling on. I still enjoy Japanese comedy 'hyper gore' films but they always have rape that I have to skip through.
>>188730 seems about right, kids never realise that their surroundings are truly fucked up until they get some space from it and grow

No. 188797

This random guy in one of my course blocked me on fb. We don't have any contact besides sometimes shit-chatting before the course or exchanging infos on our class fb group.
It's weird and I just don't get it.

No. 188800

>>188797
he's prolly tryna get dat pus

No. 188801

>>188800
…By blocking me? That's an interesting method for sure.

No. 188802

>>188793
I don't have any advice but gintama is fucking GOAT, I had a similar phase where I just wasn't interested in anything and I had a lot of stuff that I just sold because it was taking up space - I regret one or two things but I was ready to get rid of them, if you're not ready you're not ready.

No. 188804

>>188802
Yeah, Gintama is really fun and I want to watch more episodes of the anime some day but I'm too lazy for that right now. Speaking of taking space, I barely have enough space on my shelves so it's one more reason to get rid of a bunch of things. I was thinking about getting rid off my FMA, Fruits Basket and all my JoJo manga because I read them so much I almost know them without rereading them anyway. And my Harry Potter books too, I'm not interested in them anymore. I still don't know.

No. 188806

File: 1493564898550.jpg (63.2 KB, 500x495, ea6338ebd38e2bf45e6ca2879aaa7b…)

I think I have a huge crush on this one guy but I don’t know if I actually like him, or if I’m just weirdly attached to him because I have depression and he talks to me and makes me happy. I wouldn’t mind getting rejected but I’m terrified that if we were to get together, I’d later realize I don’t actually love him.

I feel fucking stupid.

No. 188807

>>188804
>Jojo manga
that was some of the last stuff I got rid of, as a massive Jojo fan it was hard but I really don't read hard copies of things and they took up so much space in the end. I think with popular things like Jojo and Harry Potter, if you have the urge to read them they're not difficult to refind, that was my viewpoint when I got rid of things - will I read this again soon? if I get rid of it and want it again, how easy will it be to get?

No. 188808

Fatchan from the vent earlier.

One thing I'm doing today, because it's depressing the fuck out of me, is putting all my "skinny" clothes in a plastic bag and out of the closet. I'll take them back out once I lose weight, but having them in there just takes up space, and if I get guilted enough, they actually demotivate me because I convince myself I'll always be a piece of shit who can't change.

Maybe this can turn out to be a really nice reward later on?

No. 188809

>>188804
Noooo not the FMA! jk, I just love that series. Maybe you should start collecting digital copies, comics look great on tablets.

No. 188811

I think my bf wants to get married, he's been talking about it a lot lately. I think he only want it to help me get the nationality and so i could feel more trusting.
I've been brushing it off and all I can think about is how I have absolutely no friend to invite to a wedding. I'm such a loser.

No. 188814

>>188807
Jojo is one of the big "new" thing in France because I think almost all the volumes are translated now (there were problems with the publication iirc but that's too long to explain). Now they're publishing Jojolion in France so it's pretty easy to find the series, it's basically everywhere. I feel like since I already read the scans and most of the volumes with an official translation and I watched the anime except the last episodes of Stardust Crusaders and DIU, I don't really need to keep the books anyway.

>>188809
I love FMA too, it'll always have a special place in my heart because I followed the series while it was still on going, as stupid as it sounds. But I used to reread the books so much I don't really feel like reading them again, so I don't see the point of keeping them. I'm really hesitating a lot more for FMA tbh. I don't know about digital copies, it sounds very convenient but not many manga are officially available this way. There are always scans at least, even if it can be a shitty option sometimes.

No. 188818

>>188780
your friends are dicks and you need to keep writing. even if it means rewriting all that! when a story gets edited a lot of it gets changed anyways. anon, i wish i could write prolifically tbh.

No. 188819

>>188809
Not the other anon but that's what I started doing. I own a couple hundred volumes of manga and started using an external drive and google/mega to save their digital versions. I've already gone through a lot of manga selling it online or at a used book store but now it's getting harder because the series I have left are the ones I like the most.

I kind of want to get rid of them because some are worth a lot of money and I'd like to go minimal, but at the same time I had always dreamed of being one of those nerds with a room filled with billy shelfs of manga.

No. 188820

Been dealing with the most passive aggressive chick for 6 months. Snickering and lowly saying under their voice "Oh look, there they are" like we are in high school. What peeved me the most is this chick was trying to do the whole kawaii innocent act. It was the weirdest thing ever to see a girl fake the high voice when they are in their mid 30's and has five inches on you.

Anyway so we have the same group of friends, we were eating ice cream and she starts freaking out. Her hand is shaking and eventually she breaks the ice cream and throws it to the floor. She stands up to go mop it up. Everyone was asking what her deal was and she snaps. Randomly out of no where she says "this asshole" while pointing to me. The problem apperently was I was sitting next to my boyfriend, but by chance I was also sitting next to hers.

She makes a scene, starts throwing shit, insults me more and is about to storm out. 6 months of this BS and no I ain't letting her walk out. I stop her and tell her she better stop with the petty BS before I make her stop. She calls me an asshole again but then blames her behavior on "I have a mental illness! You just have to accept I'm like this, but it's wrong to confront me about it!"

She has been walking around telling peopel I have been mentally abusing her since like that level of crazy.

No. 188821


No. 188854

>>188820
Sounds like cow material

No. 188859

I am so sad it physically hurts. It feels like my diaphragm is getting ripped out. I want to cry and scream it just hurts so badly.

No. 188860

File: 1493590690376.gif (72.47 KB, 800x1015, 2010-07-01-beartato-howtoemail…)

>>188821
You have some good taste in anime, anon.

No. 188862

>>188797
maybe he didnt like a post you made. either way, sounds like hes going through some shit and i wouldnt take it personal.

No. 188864

>person makes a statement about something completely mundane and uninteresting
>looks to me for a reaction
>I have no natural reaction to what they have said
>have to fake something

This shit is getting unbearable. 90% of my interactions with people are faked. They're not communicating, they're flapping their mouth holes for pleasure. It gives me no pleasure. I only want to communicate when there's some purpose to the communication. I don't care about your sisters laundry or what you ate for dinner last night, leave me the fuck alone.

No. 188866

>>188686
Honestly, you sound like a huge cunt. Don't make problems about everything. The world doesn't revolve around you, so try to take your own responsibilities. Your bf just wants to actually have fun with you, something that you seem unable to have.

Also maybe try to lose weight instead of whining about how fat you are. It's your own fault you got fat after all.

No. 188871

>>188796
I remember when I was 15 I read a guro shota manga that involved a young boy being fucked/dissected by a surgeon and at the time I read it with a kind of bland interest – not turned on but not grossed out, just kinda "hm that small intestine is quite well-shaded", and now just recalling the small bits of it I remember squicks me out a bit lol.

No. 188872

My eating disorder has warped my view of my body completely. I'm physically recovered now. For the most part I feel hot. I'm no longer a spoopy skelly, I have curves, and I look alive. But still, every time I look in the mirror, for a split second, I see a fat gross lumpy slob. And it makes me want to throw away all the progress I have made and give into my disorder again :/

No. 188890

>>188872
I know exactly how you feel, anon. My solution has been to just avoid full body mirrors as much as possible, and when I do use them it's just to check my clothes and I do it really fast and try to think about something else immediately after so I don't get sucked in to a spiral of self-hate. Hang in there, you're doing good and it gets easier but you have to keep fighting it.

No. 188893

File: 1493600895581.jpg (101.46 KB, 392x500, 3508439399_fab030ceed.jpg)


No. 188901

File: 1493603438717.jpeg (17.71 KB, 400x400, i3eTxXhf.jpeg)

>purposefully flirt with every guy I meet
>one inevitably starts showing a genuine interest in me
>mfw

I already know I'm a horrible bitch, but how do I stop myself from doing it in the first place? It's become second nature to me

No. 188904

>>188901
Are you actually flirting or just being nice? Because men tend to confuse the two constantly.

No. 188909

>>188904
It's intentional flirting, but the second a guy starts flirting back I'm immediately over him and it usually leads to me stringing him along for a little awhile. The problem is that I'm an asshole, I just don't know how to stop being an asshole.

No. 188911

>>188909
Make literally any effort to be aware of your behaviour, identify when you're being shitty, and then stop it. There's no magic trick other than actively trying to change yourself for the better by practicing mindfulness and self awareness. That's why most people never do it, they just talk about wanting to. Just do the thing.

No. 188915

>>188866
>you sound like a huge cunt
You being ironic?
>the world doesn't revolve around you
Considering bf relies on me for transport, in that situation it kinda does. He wouldn't have half of his fun if it weren't for me taking him there, which I'm okay with mostly, but fuck you lol.
>try to take your own responsibilities
I have/did? I don't know what you mean.
>bf wants to have fun
Yes, and if you read my post I explained why in that moment I couldn't.
>maybe try to lose weight
Wow anon, brilliant, never dawned on me.
I guess had you asked me what I was doing about it, like another anon did when I replied with >>188692, you'd know I already know there's nobody else to blame for my weight.

Sorry I had no filter, but it's a vent thread. Next time just skip if you don't feel like it instead of reading the first paragraph and making a judgement.

No. 188923

>>188452
Keep in mind that a lot of people who claim suicidality frequently aren't really suicidal, it's just kind of a shitty thing some people do when they're upset sometimes.

If they're clearly struggling massively day to day then it's different obviously, and I'd get it, but all the people I've known who've constantly relied on friends to stop them from doing shit aren't really that bad off, just a bit over dramatic.

Don't know your situation, but there's a good chance that if you stop that, they'll just go lean on someone else, not off themselves.


It would be pretty unlikely that all of your friends are seriously suicidal and barely holding on unless you literally live in a psych ward or something, as far as I see it at least.

No. 188924

My friends constantly take unflattering pictures of me because they think it's funny but I've struggled with body image for years and when they show me pictures of my double chin and broad shoulders it makes me incredibly uncomfortable. I've tried mentioning it but they wave it off because they say it's meant to be a joke, and I don't want to come across as ~uwu triggered houseplant wear gloves~ so I don't press it. I just wish they wouldn't send the pictures to me so I wouldn't have to see what I look like to other people.

No. 188925

>>188489
Do you honestly believe that it's white peoples fault that her mum gets upset if someone tries to talk spanish?

No-one fucking mocks people for eating mexican food, people have loved that shit for ages, it sounds like they've just got a victim complex, and are buying into the narrative that Trump hates mexicans.

No. 188926

>>188686
So, your boyfriend tried to make plans with you and went out of his way to get you an outfit, but he's a shitty person because you have bad self esteem and he didn't constantly pander to that? Or that he said he wanted to have a day out but you'd rather sleep in than spend the day with him?

Sounds like you created issues there, it's not your boyfriends job to live his life based around your insecurities. Lose weight if you're unhappy with it, don't bitch at everyone else.

And no, I'm not being ironic, you just sound incredibly whiny.

No. 188928

>>188926
>the dress
Which he bought for me 3 years ago and certainly didn't go out of his way to get. I've bought him clothes.
But it was a foolish suggestion because as I said: it had sleeves, wasn't breathable, and was black. I wasn't wearing it out in a treeless field in direct sun for hours.

Fyi–bf stayed for two and a half hours and then asked for me to come get him because it was so hot outside he got sick.
He got a bad burn too.

So no, I wasn't wrong to scoff at that.

>you wanted to sleep in

You think it's reasonable to ask someone at 2am to take you someplace at 6am? 4 hours of sleep is "sleeping in"? I still got up early to take him.

>it's not your bf's job to live around your insecurities

What the literal shit are you talking about?
I gave him what he wanted.
He had fun by himself.
He said he wasn't mad that I didn't go.
YOU are the one making a problem out of thin air. Fuck.

No. 188929

>>188928
He still gave you a dress and suggested it. You didn't want to go because you're insecure, not because of the heat, you outright said that.

>You think it's reasonable to ask someone at 2am to take you someplace at 6am


I mean, it depends entirely on when you actually already planned on leaving.

>What the literal shit are you talking about?


Gee, I dunno, maybe all the times you mention whining about your body image?
>And because of depression/apathy over the past year I've gained a shitton of weight and don't fit into any passable clothes I could've worn. Bf bought me this potato sack LARP dress the first time we met, but I refused saying in addition to looking like an obeast nun
>He doesn't understand the deep humiliation and guilt I feel. I literally don't want to be out in public aside from work because I feel AND look fat
>He's all like "don't worry i love u" which is so fucked because he's implying that his love should be good enough to trump whatever the fuck I think about myself.
>it's like, yeah bf, I totally want to do not fun things and isolate myself in the apartment because I'm a healthy person right now with no image problems. Yeah okay! I even told him "Don't you realize the terrible image problems I've been having? You yourself think I'm fat."

You spend the whole post acting like he's a shit person for not just catering to you being insecure, when that's not his job. You got offended because he said he loved you for fucks sake.

He wanted to have a fun day out, and you turned it into a stupid drama for no fucking reason at all, then apparently got shitty at him for not buying into the drama.

Unless there's a hell of a lot more to this that you're not mentioning, it really sounds like you're in the wrong here, and based on the way you seem to incapable of even comprehending that someone might think you were in the wrong, I'd say that's an even safer assumption.

No. 188930

>>188929
>and suggested it
And I said no for VALID reasons.
>you didn't want to go because you're insecure
And? You don't have a point.
It was of no consequence besides me being stressed out.
Bf got what he wanted and was happy, you're trying to insinuate he's some kind of victim and that's messed up.
>depends entirely on when you actually planned on leaving
I said when we actually left had you read my post thoroughly instead of finding things to argue over!
>whining about your body image
Because nobody does that here?
You seem bent on targeting me specifically for it.
>it's not his job to cater to your insecurities
I'm not saying/never said it was.
You can't seem to understand that when someone talks about their insecurities it's not always a solution for the listener to say "what you're feeling doesn't matter because I feel good about you." That doesn't help, it's whimsy, and it would make any person roll an eye.
>you turned it into a stupid drama
He got what he wanted lady (robot..?)
It's only "dramatic" to you because I ranted here without a filter. You're in a vent thread.

>you're in the wrong

I'm not, but it seems you're trying awful hard to find it that way!

No. 188931

>>188862
We weren't even friends on FB. I noticed only because a guy on the group looked like he was answering to no-one so I checked the members of the group. He answered a question I had about homework on the group last week and now it's gone.
I don't even care about the guy but now I'm feeling paranoid that my class hate me and they are secretly talking behind my back.
I don't even post on FB except to post on that group (and it's reasonable posting less than once a week).
I know I'm overanalizing this, but my social anxiety is really out of control now.

No. 188932

>>188931
That is kind of weird that he blocked you tbh, I understand your paranoia. Could he have blocked you by accident?

No. 188934

>>188930
>And? You don't have a point.

I mean, you claimed that wasn't why you didn't go, because the dress was black and not breathable. I'm just saying that clearly was not the reason you didn't go.

That's like what, four different mentions of you being insecure in a post talking about a one day period?

>I said when we actually left had you read my post thoroughly instead of finding things to argue over!


>when you planned on leaving


You only said when you woke up.

>I'm not saying/never said it was.


I mean, you pretty much did
>Well, it's not. And it really offended me. It feels like something he says just to get me to shut up about my problems because he doesn't like handling my frustrations and sadness.

You said you were offended because he didn't buy into your insecure shit, and instead tried to comfort you and tell you he loved you.

He's not your fucking therapist, and it seems pretty obvious this isn't the first time you've gone off about feeling fat.

There's really nothing he could have done there except reassure you that he loves you, you just made up a whole bunch of shit about what he really meant by that and got upset about it.

>He got what he wanted lady (robot..?)


Haha, are you serious? Two people have said you sounded annoying, and you couldn't believe that either actually meant it and then decided to accuse me of being a robot.

You're ridiculous.

>It's only "dramatic" to you because I ranted here without a filter.


So, there wasn't any drama?

>I'm not, but it seems you're trying awful hard to find it that way!


Not really, no, I've just posted a few quotes and said you need to stop getting angry at others because you're insecure.

Do you seriously think that you have no fault in that?

No. 188936

>>188932
Dunno.
I've been spiraling since friday. I actually had to go home mid course because I was feeling like I was about to cry. It was like I wasn't understanding anything.
The only other girl of the class was back after being absent for several courses and I think she was understanding it better than me.
She's in her early twenties, already have a bachelor and is way pretty than me. I know people like her better than me. I even like her better than me, she's really nice. And I guess she's more accepted, being pretty and all, in a male dominated course/field. Even the teacher is clearly favouring her.
Meanwhile, I feel really inadequate. I've been really working on my social skill to try and shit chat, be nice and helpful and stuff but, well, now this thing feels like the proof that people can see through the fact that I'm a miserable ugly shut-in inside in my late twenties.

No. 188937

>>188934
>you claimed that wasn't why you didn't go, because the dress was black and not breathable
Huh? That's the reason why I didn't wear that dress thing, on top of it being a horrible fit and ugly.
Not the reason why I didn't go into the event.
The reason why I didn't go is because I had no alternatives I could wear (cause fat), and I've already addressed how I plan to fix it.
So don't get it confused. I already admit my insecurities are on me but it's frustrating when someone you care about does little things to stress you out and then dismisses your fees with blanket statements.
>four different mentions of you being insecure
Didn't realize we get a set amount, like pretty princess points? Lmao.
>you only said you woke up at 9am
Because that's also when I was out the door.
I got 5 hours of sleep anon. I didn't sleep in.
>and instead tried to comfort you and tell you he loved you
I don't find it 'comforting' to pour my heart out when I'm immensely stressed only for someone to give me a one-liner before they scurry off to their fun. It felt dismissive. In fact anon, you saying that only highlights how fucking weird that is to leave someone in that state to go have funsies.
I guess we're apples to oranges on that one anon, but I expect my partner to step up a bit more than that sometimes. Words can be cheap, and that's what that was. Cheap.
He could've stayed with me a little bit.
He could've encouraged me to make changes.
Don't act like the only thing SOs say to each other is "ily."
I wouldn't leave my bf alone like that…
>seems pretty obvious this isn't the first time you've gone off about feeling fat
You'd be pretty wrong, because it is. I've been having it pent up inside me all this time so 'scuse if I vent about it in, you know, in the vent thread.

Like, for real, why are you here?
You're touchy with peoples' unfiltered personal thoughts.
>two people have said you sounded annoying
Just you, and some other person who posted a meme.
>there wasn't any drama?
NO. JESUS.
It was literally me telling my bf I was upset.
Do you think we were arguing?
Do you think I was blocking the door and refusing to let him leave? Just….ugh.
>do you seriously think you have no fault in that?
Why do I have to be "at fault" for being insecure when I have valid reasons to be?
But aside from that, considering I was nice to bf and gave him what he wanted ummmmm…nah, I didn't do anything wrong to him.

Can you stop now?

No. 188939

>>188937
>Didn't realize we get a set amount, like pretty princess points? Lmao.

What are you even talking about? I'm saying you're whiny, not that you exceeded your limit of complaints per day, simply that complaining about it that much is excessive.

>Because that's also when I was out the door.


So it would have been three hours earlier, and if you went to sleep earlier would have been the exact same amount of time.

6am really isn't that early.

>I guess we're apples to oranges on that one anon, but I expect my partner to step up a bit more than that sometimes.


Obviously they should, but the key word is "Sometimes". It's not on him to leap to your aid every time you're upset, sometimes all you can do is say that you love them.

>You'd be pretty wrong, because it is.


Why would you say "don't you realise the problems I've been having" if you'd literally never mentioned having those problems before? Come off it.

>Just you, and some other person who posted a meme.


No? Did you already forget you replied to >>188866 as well as me?

>NO. JESUS.


>I start literally whimpering

>On my way back (30 minutes) I was crying the entire way because of what my bf said.

Because those are totally the reactions people have to calm days with no drama, right?

>Why do I have to be "at fault" for being insecure when I have valid reasons to be?


Are you seriously that blind? You started the drama by making a big deal out of it instead of just saying you didn't really feel up to going or weren't really interested.

Not only are you at fault for letting your insecurities control you that massively (though admittedly that's not an easy thing to fix), but you're at fault for taking that shit out on others and acting like he's a dick for it.

It's pretty clear you guys weren't having a calm conversation in which you expressed your insecurities to him by the way.

>Can you stop now?


Yeah, there's clearly no point talking to you, you're just going to go "nuh uh I did nothing wrong and nothing happened anyway".

Just so you know, a vent thread isn't a circlejerk, people are allowed to disagree and talk about it. If you don't want people to have opinions about what you post, don't post it, or at least say you're not looking for anyone to reply and just want to write it down.

No. 188940

>>188939
>complaining about it that much is excessive
It's a vent.
An anonymous one.
I fail to see how it effects you in any tangible way for you to be this much on my ass. If you had something better to do, you'd be off doing it instead of wasting your time WHINING about me whining.
I think you're annoying.
>three hours earlier
Yeah so I would have been asleep from 4-6am.
That's unreasonable.
>if you went to sleep earlier it would have been the exact amount of time
I work late. How is that suggestion relevant? 6am is early when you went to bed at 4am and are used to working second/third shifts.
>it's not on him to leap to your aid every time you're upset
Holy assumptions batman!
I don't get that way often at all.
The only way your argument works is based on you assuming I'm some melodramatic queen bee constantly hollering in my bf's ear.
You're wrong.
>if you'd literally never mentioned having those problems before?
So me mentioning how my clothes aren't fitting lately and casually bringing up how we should eat healthier=having an emotional breakdown in the car?
>Because those are totally the reactions people have to calm days with no drama
Whimpering is a giant drama bomb to you?
Crying by myself is a way to invoke drama on my bf?
You're reaching wayyyyyy too hard with this.
>You started the drama by making a big deal out of it
My insecurities ARE a big deal. They're worthless to you, fine, but not to me. Get over yourself.
>(though admittedly that's not an easy thing to fix)
Really? Because you're arguing with me like I should've snapped my fingers and put on a happy face. You're human and you know what you're saying is absolute bullshit.
>taking it out on others and acting like he's a dick
He was being inconsiderate and not thinking things through. I never said he was a "dick," but I was angry and wasn't wrong to be.

Just so you know, you're not right about everything and you've got this one wrong. Now shoo.

No. 188960

File: 1493641908341.jpg (79.2 KB, 800x800, rcnaXEXcR.jpg)

>>188939
>Just so you know, a vent thread isn't a circlejerk, people are allowed to disagree and talk about it. If you don't want people to have opinions about what you post, don't post it, or at least say you're not looking for anyone to reply and just want to write it down.

*PLEASE DON'T REPLY TO MY VENT, I'M JUST VENTING!*
Just venting about this anon who is obsessed with this other person in the vent thread. Seems a little instigative. Probably masturbating herself to the verbal smackdowns she just delivered to the LARP-loathing, sack wearing, self-conscious woman. It feels so good to tell people off, especially people you think are ungrateful. I wonder if anon will become the self-righteous, crabby old woman she's pretending to be right now.
*PLEASE DON'T RESPOND I ASKED NICELY LIKE OTHER ANON TOLD ME TO*

No. 188963

>>188925
>Do you honestly believe that it's white peoples fault that her mum gets upset if someone tries to talk spanish?

how old are you? This reads like a comment from funnyjunk/9gag/reddit/feminist-pwned youtube comment secion

No. 188964

>>188940
>If you had something better to do

Don't think I actually ever claimed I had anything better to do, that's kind of why the forum exists, right? If any of us had better things to do, we'd be doing them.

>I work late. How is that suggestion relevant


You were clearly not working that night. Staying up to 4 in the morning and then complaining that you didn't get enough sleep seems a bit counter-intuitive to me.

>The only way your argument works is based on you assuming I'm some melodramatic queen bee constantly hollering in my bf's ear.


For sure, but you'd clearly brought up the issues before, and I really doubt you'd get that upset over such inconsequential shit as this is and be a perfectly calm well adjusted person the rest of the time.

>having an emotional breakdown in the car?


Please, now you're just flat out lying about what happened. Did you say what you said in the first post, or did you just calmly say you'd felt kind of shitty? And if it was just a casual sort of thing, why did you end up crying about it?

>My insecurities ARE a big deal.


You're insecure because you're overweight. Sure, that sucks, but it's not the fucking end of the world, and it doesn't need to be turned into a bigger deal than it already is.

Sure, they're hard for you to cope with, and that sucks, I absolutely do understand that, but you create issues when you start taking that out on others.

>Because you're arguing with me like I should've snapped my fingers and put on a happy face


Not really, I'm saying that you got shitty with your boyfriend for wanting to try to have a nice day out with you, and that that's not really fair on him.

>I never said he was a "dick,"


Yeah, fair enough, you said he was an asshole instead.
>I'm going to get out and my bf was an asshole

It sounds to me like you created issues where there absolutely didn't need to be issues, and were being rude to him when he just wanted to spend a day out with you.

You're just completely changing your story to avoid having to go "yeah okay maybe I could have reacted a lot better there, or not needed to be in a situation where I'd need to really react at all".

>>188960
Kek, you caught me anon, I'm absolutely obsessed with this, not just posting because I'm on my computer anyway.

If this isn't samefaggotry, you're trying way too fucking hard.


Also, you get that I'm hardly the first person to say that, right? In pretty much all the vent threads I've seen, there's been posts that say they don't want replies, and people that say "Hey, from what you're saying there it sounds like you were part of the issue" to the ones that don't say they aren't interested in replies.

No. 188965

File: 1493644937749.jpg (151.35 KB, 500x750, BodyLanguageProjectCom-Surpris…)

>>188925
I'll respond seriously.

>Do you honestly believe that it's white peoples fault that her mum gets upset if someone tries to talk spanish?


What do you mean by fault? I believe that her parent's disdain for people that speak Spanish is rooted in a want to integrate, her parents got shit for speaking Spanish and eating Mexican food(I'm assuming by their white peers). Later in life when her parents saw Mexicans doing things that may be considered stereotypically Mexican they got upset, they blame the person acting Mexican for why they got picked on by white people(and maybe blacks) in school, they bought into the 'if you people stopped acting the way you do then we wouldn't shit on you!' meme.

With the majority of white people(the same group her parents spent years placating) voting for Donald 'They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people' Trump they became disillusioned.

>No-one fucking mocks people for eating Mexican food, people have loved that shit for ages


Did they imagine it? People love Asian food but make jokes about eating dogs and cats at Asians.

>it sounds like they've just got a victim complex


They just need to get over it amirite? I mean it's not like your formative years are important or anything, right?

>and are buying into the narrative that Trump hates Mexicans.


We can't say for sure if Trump hates Mexicans, but you cannot deny that he demonized Mexicans when campaigning

No. 188966

>>188965
>I believe that her parent's disdain for people that speak Spanish is rooted in a want to integrate, her parents got shit for speaking Spanish and eating Mexican food(I'm assuming by their white peers).

This is some of the stupidest shit I've read in a while

No. 188968

File: 1493645260849.png (53.84 KB, 500x534, )when-someone-think-they-have-…)


No. 188971

>>188965

> they bought into the 'if you people stopped acting the way you do then we wouldn't shit on you!' meme


>Implying it's a meme


>With the majority of white people(the same group her parents spent years placating) voting for Donald 'They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people' Trump they became disillusioned


Your logic doesn't follow. How does Mexicans not assimilating and committing crimes make their parents disillusioned with white people?

>They just need to get over it amirite?


Yes.

No. 188972

File: 1493646927200.jpg (57.33 KB, 984x516, CtvqL9bW8AAaiml.jpg large.jpg)

>>188971
>Implying it's a meme

It is a meme.

>Your logic doesn't follow. How does Mexicans not assimilating and committing crimes make their parents disillusioned with white people?


>spend years trying to fit in and

>a yuge part of the presidential candidate's campaign is demonizing your group
>you watch as a large amount of white people support this man
>election night
>majority of white people vote for him
>you realize that no matter what you do you will never integrate, you will never belong, you will always be seen as a foreign invader
>no matter what you do you will always be judged by the worst members of your group
>do a complete 180 and treat them as they treat you

It's really not that hard to follow, lad.

I'm assuming you didn't actually read
>>188156

No. 188973

>>188972

>It is a meme.


No, it isn't.


Okay, but how does the rest of your ethnic group being shit make you, someone who is successfully not being shit, give up on not being shit? This is the victim mentally that is the stupidest shit from people like you.

No. 188974

File: 1493647586418.jpg (81.51 KB, 584x389, spoon-feeding.jpg)

>>188973
>but how does the rest of your ethnic group being shit make you, someone who is successfully not being shit, give up on not being shit?

I doubt her parents are now out there raping and murdering, they've just given up on the idea of integration because they're now aware that they will always be judged by their worst(which is also a minority, not sure where you're getting "rest of ethnic group" from).

>This is the victim mentally that is the stupidest shit from people like you.


Do you have anything of substance to say? If all you're going to say is 'uuuh, i dun get it' and then scream about a victim complex then this will be my last reply to you tbh.

No. 188975

why do Mexicans believe they invented Spanish language?

#ConfusedSouthEuropean

and how is it a race thing when Mexico is not a race and there are white/indigenous/black/asian Mexicans?

No. 188977

>>188965
>I believe that her parent's disdain for people that speak Spanish is rooted in a want to integrate

Or they're just shitty people who want to be victims? Feeling like it's unfair that some people don't put in the effort to be accepted like you did is one thing, but going off at anyone who speaks Spanish to you is just ridiculous.

>With the majority of white people(the same group her parents spent years placating) voting for Donald 'They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people' Trump they became disillusioned.


You get that quote was about illegal immigrants, right? That's the anons whole point, is that it makes much more sense to be against illegal immigrants who didn't have to put in the effort to immigrate to the country legitimately and then try to integrate into the new culture (which you absolutely should do, you're in a new place and have some responsibility to act in appropriate ways to that area).

>Did they imagine it?


More likely they got a few jokes about it here or there and inflated it gradually over the years until it became massive bullying.

Memory can be pretty influenced by bias, you get that right?

>They just need to get over it amirite? I mean it's not like your formative years are important or anything, right


Regardless of whether your formative years are important, yes, you do need to get over it.

What's the alternative? You just refuse to get over it and expect everyone to cater to you?

>but you cannot deny that he demonized Mexicans when campaigning


I absolutely can, because illegal immigrants are not the same group as Mexicans. Show me literally a single quote where Trump demonizes Mexicans. Not Mexicans who enter America illegally, but just Mexicans as a whole.


>>188972
Your mental gymnastics here are insane.

The parents have always been against people who didn't integrate into the country, right? We can agree there?

They then completely backflipped on this and started to get offended when illegal immigrants are arrested, and acts only literal idiots voted for Trump, and that it's an insult to call someone a Trump voted.

How is it, in your mind that going "Hmm, this candidate seems to agree with my views on immigrants and integrating into culture, so I think I'll just completely change those and play the victim here instead" follows any logical path to you?

Their parents are not in the same group as illegal immigrants, and from their previous views, would not have approved of illegal immigrants.

No. 188979

File: 1493648552648.jpg (61.78 KB, 550x412, 1451603145429.jpg)

>>188975
Ignorance. Confusion will be burgerlands epitaph. Basically, genetics are very complicated and south America has had decades of historical fuckings that have made for a very diverse haplotype pool for the Americas. Think about how one would go about proving their germanic or slavic racial ties. It's mostly identity complexes about culture and an absence of a defined ancestry.

It may be that some communities have certain ways of speaking spanish that are similar but distinct to the original, like how India, Malaysia or even the USA and the UK have variations of the same language.

No. 188988

>>188974

Then please stop replying to me, because nothing you said makes any sense. No where in the original post did it say anything about them being judged by their worst. If they take people being unhappy with Mexicans because they do x,y,z, even though they're not Mexicans who do x,y,z, that's their problem and it's still not an excuse to not try to integrate or excuse others for not integrating.

>>188975

>why do Mexicans believe they invented Spanish language?


The same reason they think the American Southwest belongs to them when in reality they're imperialistic invaders and the Northern 300 miles of Mexico should really be given back to the actually native Apache/Pueblo/Navaho/Hopi/Kiowaa/Other tribes.

No. 188989

File: 1493650835455.png (770.82 KB, 1280x720, Chrysalis'_eyes_flash_green_S2…)

>>188977
>Feeling like it's unfair that some people don't put in the effort to be accepted like you did is one thing, but going off at anyone who speaks Spanish to you is just ridiculous.

>You get that quote was about illegal immigrants, right?


"When Mexico sends its people, they're not sending their best. … They're sending people that have lots of problems, and they're bringing those problems with us. They're bringing drugs. They're bringing crime. They're rapists. And some, I assume, are good people"

You could say that it was about illegal Mexican American immigrants but I would go back to what I said in an earlier post, they are judged by the worst members of their group. And even if it was JUST about illegal immigrants we must remember that Mexicans are associated with illegal immigration the same way South Asian and MENA people are associated with terrorism.

>That's the anons whole point, is that it makes much more sense to be against illegal immigrants who didn't have to put in the effort to immigrate to the country legitimately and then try to integrate into the new culture


It's sweet that you're being charitable but nothing in
>>188925
alludes to that

>More likely they got a few jokes about it here or there and inflated it gradually over the years until it became massive bullying.


And this is based on?

>Memory can be pretty influenced by bias, you get that right?


Yea, the mind is a tricky thing and is prone to things like inter-group bias, beloved ;)

>Regardless of whether your formative years are important, yes, you do need to get over it.

>What's the alternative? You just refuse to get over it and expect everyone to cater to you?

Hmmm, not sure. All I know is that people don't easily get over things traumatic things that happen to them(especially if they occurred during the formative years). Her parents seemed to cope by doing everything they could to immigrate, maybe subconsciously thinking 'if we integrate then whites wont X'.

>because illegal immigrants are not the same group as Mexicans.


Sure.

>Show me literally a single quote where Trump demonizes Mexicans. Not Mexicans who enter America illegally, but just Mexicans as a whole.


See quote from earlier, what's the connotation? There is a reason Trump felt the need to do the stupid taco bowl shit and have Mexican Americans come on on stage and root for him.

>The parents have always been against people who didn't integrate into the country, right? We can agree there?


Sure

>How is it, in your mind that going "Hmm, this candidate seems to agree with my views on immigrants and integrating into culture, so I think I'll just completely change those and play the victim here instead" follows any logical path to you?


People can agree on an issue but disagree on how they approach it, you understand this, right? Her parents may not like people calling illegal immigrants rapists and murderers, her parents may not agree with building a wall and other things like that.

Also people aren't logical.

>Their parents are not in the same group as illegal immigrants


I agree, they're not but they're associated with them by virtue of being Mexican.

No. 188991

File: 1493651119690.jpg (216.58 KB, 1032x1312, YlpDL3T.jpg)

>>188975
>why do Mexicans believe they invented Spanish language?

They don't, it's just that most Spanish speaking people in America are of Mexican descent so in everyone's mind Mexican=Spanish.

>and how is it a race thing when Mexico is not a race and there are white/indigenous/black/asian Mexicans?


Pic related make up a sizable portion if not the majority of Mexicans, when people make derogatory comments about Mexicans this is who they're making fun of.

No. 188992

>>188964
Are you the same anon starting the race arguing shit with the other posters? I'm curious.

>>188964
>don't think I actually ever claimed I had anything better to do
Except for whining.
Which you're doing by making a big deal out of my post and insisting there's problems where there aren't.
>you were clearly not working that night
I was and now you're pretending you know more about my day than I do. This is how far up your own ass you are right now.
Bf and me both work late nights. That's the reason we were both up at 2am discussing stuff, it's like coming home after work.

"Anon you should've found a way to come home from work earlier to go to bed earlier before you even found out bf wanted to attend a mega-early brunch on the other side of the city."

That's how unreasonable you sound right now.
>but you'd clearly brought up the issues before
No I didn't.
This is your speculation.
You have zero proof.
I told you no but for some reason you insist yes, that's not my problem. I'm annoyed at you because you're making shit up and baiting an argument. But maybe that's your goal, you seem to like arguing.
>I really doubt you'd get that upset over such inconsequential shit as this is and be a perfectly calm well adjusted person the rest of the time
It wasn't "inconsequential" shit to me at the time, that's the point. My emotions were raw and I was feeling very upset, there's nothing wrong with how I felt and I didn't hurt anyone.
>now you're just flat out lying about what happened
What the fuck? No I'm not.
You're trying to spin this narrative and I'm not sure what fiction is in your head at this point. Yes, I was upset but I wasn't bawling my eyes out in front of bf and urging my bf not to go. I wasn't preventing him from going or trying to make him feel bad for wanting to go. I told him to have fun and don't worry about me. I had a stressed-out morning and wasn't happy like other sleep-deprived adults.
You seem to think nobody can have inner monologues or thoughts without spilling their guts to the other person, which are what I wrote in my post. Literally nothing happened and things are back to normal.
>but it's not the fucking end of the world, and it doesn't need to be turned into a bigger deal than it already is
That's not how insecurities work.
>taking that out on others
Fucking explain how I did besides telling my bf I didn't want to wear a sack dress to a public event.
You make no god damn sense.
>I'm saying that you got shitty with your boyfriend for wanting to try to have a nice day out with you
Bf didn't have a choice because I'm the ride. Assuming a normal couple both has cars, the bullshit would've stopped had he had his own transportation.
>you called him an asshole
Because I thought that quip about "You could've went with me you know" was tone-deaf to the situation.
>created issues
What issue? Do you think I called my bf an asshole to his face? These are my thoughts, that is one of the things I felt at the time. IRL there's no "issue."

>Also, you get that I'm hardly the first person to say that, right?

Yeah but you're kind of being an extra cunt about it. And no, that other post wasn't by me.

Again, I ask, can you stop now?

No. 188994

>>188989
>You could say that it was about illegal Mexican American immigrants

Because it objectively was.

>they are judged by the worst members of their group.


How are you not getting that they aren't the same group?

>It's sweet that you're being charitable but nothing in


What? I am that anon, I'm telling you what my point is, and that it's stupid to act like it's totally white peoples fault she's acting retarded.

>And this is based on?


The fact that no-one makes fun of anyone for eating Mexican food, because pretty much everyone eats Mexican food? Talking Spanish I could get.

>All I know is that people don't easily get over things traumatic things that happen to them


It's not about whether people easily do it or not, it's about the fact that you simply have to make the effort to. You can't just be unhappy forever.

> maybe subconsciously thinking 'if we integrate then whites wont X'.


Sounds like you're reaching to me, these aren't people that were first generation immigrants.

>See quote from earlier, what's the connotation


There is no connotation, you're adding meaning onto it.

>There is a reason Trump felt the need to do the stupid taco bowl shit and have Mexican Americans come on on stage and root for him.


Probably because people got this retarded idea that Trump hates Mexicans despite having said nothing that indicates that.

>Her parents may not like people calling illegal immigrants rapists and murderers, her parents may not agree with building a wall and other things like that.


So, her parents don't agree that illegal immigrants should be prosecuted? Stop adding "Her parents might think this or that" to it when it's not what we're talking about, and you have no way of knowing.

>I agree, they're not but they're associated with them by virtue of being Mexican.


I mean, in the same way I'm associated with Anders Breiviks or socialism for being scandinavian, sure.

I don't think you can go "Well, no-one's actually talking about them, but there's a portion of their race that's doing illegal shit that people see as an issue, so it's kind of like talking about them".

I've not seen anyone outside a few edgy forums legitimately claim that mexicans in general are bad people or that there's any issue with people who legally immigrate and don't cause issues once they're here.


Her parents need to stop buying into this victim complex they've got going on is really all there is to it.

It's not their formative years at fault for this, because they weren't like that pre-Trump according to the anon, they've only really started it recently.

No. 188995

>>188994
>Because it objectively was.

Okay bud, whatever you say.

>How are you not getting that they aren't the same group?


Okay, is there any overlap between illegal mexican immigrants and mexicans americans? Any? Do these two share a group? Are you really having this much trouble putting pieces together?

>What? I am that anon, I'm telling you what my point is

Then why say
"That's the anons whole point"
Why speak about yourself in third person?
Really gets my neurons firing, anon.

>The fact that no-one makes fun of anyone for eating Mexican food, because pretty much everyone eats Mexican food?


So your claim that her parents are exaggerating is based on the fact that people eat Mexican food? Okay.

>Sounds like you're reaching to me, these aren't people that were first generation immigrants.


Just going off of the information I have, the stuff I've read, and what I've seen members of other minority groups go through

>There is no connotation, you're adding meaning onto it.


Kek, are you serious? Okay okay, let's pretend you're right, let's take that sentence literally.

"When Mexico sends its people, they're not sending…"='People from Mexico are bad and bringing a lot of problems with them'.

>Probably because people got this retarded idea that Trump hates Mexicans despite having said nothing that indicates that.


And where do people get the idea that Trump hates Mexicans :thinking:

>So, her parents don't agree that illegal immigrants should be prosecuted?


Don't know.

>Stop adding "Her parents might think this or that" to it when it's not what we're talking about,


Why? I'm giving examples of things they may not agree on?

>and you have no way of knowing.


Which is why i add 'may' ;)

>I mean, in the same way I'm associated with Anders Breiviks or socialism for being scandinavian, sure.


Where? In America? Unlikely because if you ask your average american who Anders Breiviks is they would scratch their head and say who. In some Scandinavian country? Unlikely because you are a member of the majority, and members of the majority are viewed as individuals.

>I don't think you can go "Well, no-one's actually talking about them, but there's a portion of their race that's doing illegal shit that people see as an issue, so it's kind of like talking about them".


I'm not. What I'm saying in response to 'but they're talking about illegal immigrants, not mexicans' is that Mexicans are associated with illegal immigration, when an American pictures an illegal immigrant they picture a Mexican(usually lazy and on welfare while also stealing all the jobs from good old fashioned blue blooded Americans), not a silhouette with 'illegal immigrant' stamped on it's head, in America illegal immigrant and Mexican are almost synonymous.

>It's not their formative years at fault for this, because they weren't like that pre-Trump according to the anon, they've only really started it recently.

see
>>188489
and
>>188972

No. 188997

>>188995
>Okay bud, whatever you say.

I mean, what would you like me to say? That quote was objectively in the context of talking about illegal immigrants.

>Okay, is there any overlap between illegal mexican immigrants and mexicans americans? Any? Do these two share a group


There's definitely an overlap, but that doesn't make them the same group.

If you don't have the characteristics of a group, you aren't in that group (in this context at least). You can't have some and then go "oh well they're similar groups".

>Why speak about yourself in third person?


I mean, I wasn't even talking about that post, I was talking about the original poster. I'm not really sure why you quoted me at all.

>So your claim that her parents are exaggerating is based on the fact that people eat Mexican food


I'm saying that people aren't going to see anything unusual in eating Mexican food, because it's a really common thing to do, pretty much everyone eats it.

Why would they be singled out for that?

>Just going off of the information I have, the stuff I've read, and what I've seen members of other minority groups go through


We're not talking about other people here, we're talking about that anons parents, which we only know about because of her post. You're creating motivations for them.

>"When Mexico sends its people, they're not sending…"='People from Mexico are bad and bringing a lot of problems with them'.


Yeah, no. You absolutely know this is a terrible argument.

You've taken that entire quote out of context and tried to use it to act like Trump hates Mexicans.

Give this a read if you're interested
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quoting_out_of_context

>And where do people get the idea that Trump hates Mexicans


From quotes taken out of context? The Clinton campaign (and wider media, it happened in my country too) was pretty liberal (no pun intended) with how they used his quotes.

>Why? I'm giving examples of things they may not agree on?


Because we have no idea, and it's just speculation.

>Where? In America? Unlikely because if you ask your average american who Anders Breiviks is they would scratch their head and say who


Fair enough, lets focus on socialism then. Most people believe that scandinavian countries are more socialist than the US, right? Do you think that means I'm associated with socialism purely for being scandinavian?

You're not talking about whether or not I'm associated with it, you're talking about whether or not people may think I am, which are two completely different things, and I really don't believe that people automatically associate a Mexican person with illegal immigration.

>What I'm saying in response to 'but they're talking about illegal immigrants, not mexicans' is that Mexicans are associated with illegal immigration, when an American pictures an illegal immigrant they picture a Mexican


I can agree there, sure, there's a big issue with illegal immigrants from Mexico in the US, so there's a reason for illegal immigrants being most likely to be thought of as Mexican.

I don't think this is proof that people automatically assume that Mexicans must be illegal immigrants, do you?

And your last point is relying on quoting yourself again, both of which posts ignore that Trump was never talking about Mexicans as a whole, and lumping yourself in with illegal immigrants when you are not one is very clearly an attempt to create a victim role for yourself.

Their formative years left them against people who didn't try to integrate and do things in an American way, so your argument about how it's hard to change because of it being formed in childhood doesn't really hold up.

That attitude developed in adulthood, as a result of misinformation at best (which is demonstrative of how trying to convince people they're the victims of something is directly harmful in my opinion, as if that propaganda didn't exist, there wouldn't be this issue), or a willing ability to ignore the reality and just make yourself into a victim for whatever reason.

No. 189000

File: 1493658011803.png (849.27 KB, 1219x717, 1464313905509.png)

>>188997
I don't know what else to say bud, at this point I would just be repeating myself. The only thing I can do is leave you with the full speech.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-politics/wp/2015/06/16/full-text-donald-trump-announces-a-presidential-bid/

No. 189004

I'm fucking tired of seeing politics everywhere. I don't fucking care and I don't want to talk about it.

No. 189006

>>189004
After scrolling up amd seeing all of this political/racial sperging, I don't blame you and also feel the same.

Take it to a different thread, fuck.

No. 189011

>>189000
This will be my last post, because it's clearly bothering other people, but I just want to provide you with these quotes from the paragraphs before and after
>When do we beat Mexico at the border?
>But I speak to border guards and they tell us what we're getting.

Clearly referencing the fact that it's immigration he's talking about.

And from after, showing it wasn't Mexico he had an issue with, rather illegal immigration full stop
>It's coming from more than Mexico. It's coming from all over South and Latin America, and it's coming probably – probably – from the Middle East. But we don't know.

Like I said though, last post, because I don't think there's anything more to say. You were objectively wrong.

No. 189065

Autistic Genji mains are killing all my fun in Overwatch.

No. 189066

>>189065
mada mada

Jk we all hate them too

No. 189067

finals are this week
i want to die

No. 189068

>>188994
>>188995
>>188997
>these spacing's
Is your enter key malfunctioning? Please kill your selves.

No. 189069

>>189011
i think trump is a fucking moron and is irrational about a lot of things and groups, but i agree he's never really said anything that was specifically anti-mexican. he's said a lot of false things about the mexican government and about the nature of illegal immigrants, but nothing about the mexican people in general.

the quote "They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people" is pretty bad because it's wrong, but it's a pretty open interpretation to read it as him saying "[THE MEXICAN PEOPLE] are rapists". it could even be read as "they're bringing drugs, crime, […] and their rapists". but either way, he's saying mexican has a lot of illegal immigrants (true) and that they're rapists (not true).

the taco bowl thing is really ignorant but keep in mind the guy's a pandering moron who acts this way about everything in his life. if he wants to appeal to a person or group he'll say they're the best or naively mimic them to show appreciation. see: mining hats, getting into trucks, saying "[X] people are good friends of mine". this is the guy who regularly says shit like https://twitter.com/BraddJaffy/status/842409899359375361.

in that context, is him tweeting a taco bowl mocking mexicans, or is it a socially unaware perpetually-sycophantic 70 year old trying to appeal to a voting bloc?

the media exaggeration of trump's supposed racism has really muddied the water, because it prevents people on both sides from focusing on the actual reality of him being a narcissistic dimwit reality tv host who has no clue what he's doing and can't tell the truth, admit to anything, or stay consistent with a position or statement.

(that said, he has sometimes said some pretty offensive stuff about muslims above and beyond merely calling terrorists radically islamic)

No. 189071

>>189066


Seriously, I play Ana mostly and can deal with him easily but I just fucking hate it when our off tank refuses to switch to Winston so I can actually heal people instead of watching my ass %99 of the time.

No. 189072

>>189069
Can politics be kept to its own thread? It takes over every goddamn thing it gets mentioned in, and I think it's safe to say just about everyone is tired of having it shoves in their faces via every single website or social media platform used.

No. 189073

>>188923
Yeah honestly I feel like some of them are just… playing it up a bit and it makes me feel bad that I feel that way too. There's only so much a personal can deal with though. Thank you.

No. 189077

I wish I could call the cops on an underage former friend's long distance 23 year old sex worker boyfriend. I can't help but wonder if I would have a case against the 23 year old with the whole exposing minors to porn (I have proof the 17 year old has interacted with his "work" (ugh) blog), having sex with a minor and probably having exchanged nudes. The 17 year old is also mentally ill and his eating disorder, depression, and general wellbeing have worsened since meeting the 23 year old (not to mention the gender identity change to "fit in" with his boyfriend)

I just don't want to get my hands dirty honestly. I also don't want to be responsible for some edgy teenager offing himself because his ~one true love~ is in jail or gets fined or some shit. But it's something I daydream about. That friend was a terrible person despite us taking him under our wing since he was two years younger, and the thought of that creepy 23 year old who shoves gummy bears up his ass on camera at least being fined when he's always ebegging but not getting an actual job brings me great joy. I've been weighing pros and cons.

No. 189082

>>189077
Is there some sort of anonymous tipline you could call?

No. 189083

File: 1493718791506.gif (132.66 KB, 540x1086, 20101226.gif)

>>188924
The women I know who have broad shoulders all have bad postures. Keep that back straight and be proud of what god gave to you. Basically your future sons already won the genetic lottery.

No. 189096

>>188924
Your "friends" are pretty shitty if they treat you like this

No. 189105

File: 1493750663089.jpg (40.59 KB, 674x768, 16939444_395281600838150_68765…)

So sick of commitment-phobic men. I'm in my early twenties and the thought of the "hoe phase" has never brushed me in the slightest, not yet at least. I've always wondered how do you see someone, get along with them, kiss them etc. and don't develop any sort of affection at all. Many guys do that all the time, but I feel it's just not in my character. Feels so cold, almost robotic.
I just want a nice, stable, monogamous relationship, but for some reason I can't find a person that thinks in the same way. Is it that hard? Being single is so tiring

No. 189107

>>188924
I had "friends" like this before I moved away.

They were always trying to make themselves feel less bad around me by taking pictures looking my absolute worst ie. double chin, goofy expression, unflattering candid pose, etc.
I tried to politely confront them about it once and they deflected by insisting I was overreacting and that I was beautiful. But they'd never let me review the pictures and pick what I liked, and they never took shit pictures of themselves.
>inb4 conceited
When I made new friends and showed them the girls who took those awful photos, they said those girls were ugly and were trying too hard to bring me down to their level. Not that it mattered, they said, because even when I was derpy I was still cute while they looked like troglodytes. Even my parents thought my ex friends were jealous users.

So distance yourself and get new friends, anon. You'll thank yourself later for it.

Seriously I can't imagine posting horrible pictures of my friends. I want my friends to feel good and happy about themselves!
Once I took a convention hallway shot of a friend's costume. I corrected the lighting, color, removed blemishes/lines, got rid of her double chin, and pushed in her waist and swollen legs ever so slightly to give her a bit more shape. She LOVED that picture, she even shared it on her own fb wall. A shitty hallway shot; yet it meant the world because she looked flattering.
It cost me nothing to be nice.

No. 189121

I've been stuck in a bad way for a good few years.

I've been having really bad issues with depression and anxiety but hate talking about it to other people, I'd rather not burden anyone, but now its got people I work with thinking I'm either some rude bitch or religious girl because I don't date.

I just super hate myself and would rather fix that before making someone suffer being with me.

And I'm stuck being a sort of crutch for other people, like they must imagine I have no issues so they lay their problems on me like I'm supposed to help.

fuck I'm just so tired like physically and mentally.

shit suxs

No. 189148

The only things I get off to are audio recordings and erotica, and even then it is so fucking hard to find good stuff. All the audio I find are guys with higher voices than me. And the guys that don't sound pre-pubescent do "daddy" and rape kink stuff which doesn't do anything for me. All I want is a deep voiced qt to talk dirty to me, is that so much to ask for?

No. 189153

File: 1493780315477.jpg (266.63 KB, 1016x1024, 693392ce5cc06dcbae0e889bb9a02b…)

My best and only friend since the sixth grade (I'm graduating this month) all of a sudden decided she can't stand me anymore and texted me to never speak to her again. Apparently she's felt this way for years. Sure fooled me… I can't stop crying…

I've also got an AP test tomorrow. I'm a slow reader. I suck at writing essays. I'll probably burst out crying during the test. I wish I was dead.

No. 189158

>>189153
Your friend is a bitch for doing that the night before an exam.

Remember, anon, high school is meaningless once you graduate (i assume youre in hs if youre taking ap tests?) You'll realize what a bubble it was once you move on with your life.

No. 189162

That 'friend' is a proper cunt anon, I know its difficult and it hurts right now but in the long run you'll see you are so much better without her. She isnt worth even a second of your time right now, focus on your exam (good luck :)!) and don't try to cling back onto or anything cut that bitch outta yo life

No. 189168

Couldn't shave while in the shower yesterday because i was unable to stand up due to period cramps and now the tiny hairs are making my vag itch. Kill me

No. 189169

>>188686
>that green text in nignog speak
Funniest shit that's made me laugh all week

No. 189170

I think I didn't get my period last month b/c of stress or I just had a very light flow and forgot but the fact I still havent gotten my period this month is a bit worrying, I don't know what tf my cycle is doing, at the very least i'm not pregnant.

No. 189171

>>188686
What does her being black have to do with anything, though? Pretty sure if I wrote a greentext about some incompetent, smelly fat white bitch I have to deal with in my daily life, half the internet would have my head for focusing on her race.

No. 189173

>can't stop watching baking videos
>no oven or money to get ingredients
I can't wait to go home.

No. 189176

>>189169
>nignog

Life really improves after you stop spending time on 4chan

No. 189177

I keep drinking out of boredom and it's gotten to the point where it's affecting my sleep and giving me crazy mood swings with the bf, but I'm so ashamed to talk to someone about it.

I can break addictive patterns in about 2 weeks cold turkey (did it before and quit smoking cigs as well as weed in this way) but i need to be busy. I'm 23 so all my friends just wanna go out for drinks with their first real job money and my own job (tech start up) has a big drinking culture there's even a full bar in the fucking office.

I'm not wildly out of control drunk but even like 3 or 4 shots/3 glasses of wine most days/week is pretty bad. I just need to figure out how to stay busy. I'm taking aome cc classes but they're much easier than i thought so I don't feel fucked to study a lot.

I'm mostly tired that alcohol is so cheap and easy to find around here. I liked living in Canada where alc was expensive and in their own stores.

I woke up from a dream where I passed out drunk in a park and woke up to a homeless guy raping me. Probs my future if I don't kick this shit soon.

No. 189178

I'm getting better from alcoholic period. Said fuck it and started burning my money on more expensive and lighter alcohol and am tapering successfully. Don't know how long this will last, but I'm studying for classes and trying to eat better, so hopefully I'll have the sense to not drink as often since it makes studying impossible and made me gain a lot of weight. It's going well. I got a fine for loud noise last time I drank a lot (apparently I shouted at neighbors…) and that was a real wake up call. Thanks for the support, anons.

No. 189180

>>189177
Alcoholism is sneaky. At the last week of HS me and my firend got drunk each day. By Friday a single beer was enough for the same effect.
And I noticed this on my alcoholic father as well. He does not drink much, but drinks constantly.
To my surprise they were talking about the exact same thing in the radio the other day. I don't remember the exact amount but it does not take much to be medically considered an alcoholic.

No. 189181

>>189180
Yeah "healthy" levels is like 1 glass of wine for women once a week or something. Which is why I'm trying to stop. I do drink less now than half a year ago, and am starting to see the pros of being sober vs the fun of drunkness. It's just a bit harder for me than it was with tobacco/weed. Cigs are absolutely repulsive to me now and I don't have easy access to pot anymore. But alc is everywhere here and a lot of it tastes good. Plus I don't want to cut it out entirely. I actually drink quite responsibly around other people, so i just need to get sober when I'm by myself.

I'm just bored, I have a boring temp job rn. And I'm too scatterbrained to stay on 1 thing long enough to cultivate real hobbies. I'm going back to school in the Fall so I'll be plenty busy then, just need to deal with this summer months (full of parties and booze…)

No. 189182

File: 1493818181292.jpg (29.67 KB, 938x477, 1483297094226.jpg)

I take the pill so that I don't get periods, but every month I don't have a period I freak out and buy 10 pregnancy tests from the drug store. And then I debate the validity of the cheap pregnancy tests. And then I do like 3 tests in a day. And then I freak out because I didn't do it when my pee was most undiluted. And then I do it first thing in the morning and see I'm not pregnant. And then I think that it didn't detect it because it's too early. And then I worry about the time limit for getting an abortion without getting dilated by a doctor. Then I worry about coughing up over $5,000. Then I look up pay day loan rates for the RepubliCash down the street

Then it happens all over again
I need to get a real expensive test

No. 189183

>>189182
If you take the pill so you don't get periods why do you freak out when you don't get them?

No. 189186

>>189182
Unless you're buying a really shady test the cheaper ones work just as well as the expensive ones, so don't bother wasting your money.

No. 189187

>>189182
Why don't you stop taking the pill this way and take it with one week breaks that make you have "periods"?

No. 189192

>>189182
Do you have an anxiety disorder or something?

No. 189194

>Roomies are all out somewhere
Weee, now I can cry as loud as I want.

No. 189197

I want to fuck a guy in my clan

No. 189203

>>189176
That word existed way before 4chan. Life improves when you stop spending too much time on the internet and labeling everything in meme terms when it hurts your sensitive debilities.

No. 189204

>>189176
what does 4chan have to do with anything i mentioned. do you know where you are
this board is 18+ so gb2pull and sorry i hurt your feefees :¬)

No. 189209

>>189158
>>189162
Ah, thanks you two. And yeah, I'm in high school.
Well, at least I managed not to cry during my test (which is actually kind of a big deal for me; I'm a huge crybaby!).

I just wanted to gripe about "my friend" one last time…

We hung out almost every day and there was never any indication she felt the way she did (maybe I'm just stupid or something?).
Even the day before she texted me to never speak to her again, we were hanging out. I introduced her to a new band that she started gushing over. We laughed about a 2-year-old inside joke. We reminisced about a hilariously shitty movie we watched.

She didn't have the guts to tell me to my face, or, at the very least, the slightest bit of consideration to wait until the weekend to break the news to me. She blocked my number and blocked me on all social media and keeps making vague posts about me (I'm blocked from commenting but not from viewing):
>if there's someone i don't want to be around should i tell them or just ignore them as much as possible??
>i don't like their company and it's hard for me to decide what to do and i'm desperate at this point!!
>don't talk to me anymore. i want you gone. get away from me.

In her text, she told me she's felt like this for years. She had gotten quite a few gifts out of me in the meantime.
Shit, she might have been my only friend, but she sure was an awful one… she's quite an actress.

…I feel a bit better.
Have this cute lil' singing bird to cheer ya'll up, farmers.

No. 189212

>>189209
Have you tried not being underage

No. 189213

>>189212
I turned 18 last year and I'm graduating this year. Nice try though.

No. 189219

>>189209
>>189162 here again, she sounds like a complete child! personally, I would never want to be around someone like that, especially the type to make vague posts about others, that's some real shit stirring. If this is what her true colors really are you're dodging a huge bullet honestly, she's not the sort of person you want to be around past high school. Do you have other friends you can spend your time in classes with? For me when I was in a similar situation that was the hardest part at first.

Also that bird is too fucking cute

No. 189229

>>189203
>>189204
Sorry but you sound idiotic saying shit like nignog. And yes my feefees r in tatters.

No. 189240

File: 1493875078064.png (22.47 KB, 237x214, IMG_1999.PNG)

I really wish I had my own online circle of friends, especially girl friends. I haven't had any real female friends since high school and it really eats away at me. Whenever I see people on social media talking about their group discord chats I am really resentful and jealous. The problem is I never go out of my way to try to befriend others because I feel like a piece of shit who isn't good enough to have a nice circle of pals. I tried getting into the lolcow discord but couldn't get into the farmer only chat because admin never responded to my messages and the friend finder thread didn't yeild anything either. I don't know anymore. I know I have to get out of my scared little bubble but I am terrified of rejection. I want to have close friendships but I feel like I won't belong anywhere. It's just a self fulfilling prophecy though… I just don't have the courage to break the cycle because sitting on my pity pot has always been easier.

No. 189241

>>189240
ik exactly what you mean with the fear of rejection and lack of courage to break the cycle, etc. sending my love your way <3

No. 189242

>>189240
If you have spare time, could you fill it with a hobby to share with other people? I have a lot of online friends that I've met through my hobbies, either who post their artwork to tumblr/deviant art or their crafts/fashion hobbies to instagram. Getting to know friends can be great but it becomes easier if you have something right there on display that they can talk to you about
The friend finder threads here and on cgl are really helpful also

No. 189246

>>189229
ur right it does sound childish. next time ill just say nigger maybe it will offend less people

No. 189250

I hate how my co-worker keeps whining about how she's gonna get fat after eating a piece of cake and bragging how she's fasting 24 hours on x days and exercises etc.

I'm trying my best to stay at a healthy weight but the stuff she keeps saying is making me uncomfortable and competitive af, despite me being way smaller than her and actually fit.

I know she doesn't have to give a shit about how I feel and she can't even know that since I never told her about it or that I'm struggling with disordered eating and other things. It's not her responsibility. But god do I wish she'd stop.

No. 189252

>>189250
Is she a jealous fatty? That's usually the way it goes. She wants to "win" the dieting thing

No. 189254

>>189252
Can't say anything about her being jealous, but kind of, she's chubby and has unfortunate weight distribution

It's the first time I encountered something like that (from someone that's bigger than me), so I'll just go along and agree lol

No. 189255

my SO and i were arguing over something stupid today and it started to get out of hand. he then told me to get out of the car, so i started to (and wanted to) and then idk he started to drive away so i couldnt and my coffee i had just bought spilled and i dont know what the hell came over me but i decided to pour my coffee on him. i hesitated though and he slapped it back on me and it went on my lap and the window. then i still tried to get out but and he was driving still and kept telling me to shut the door and then grabbed my neck and stuff idk i dont remember a lot, it was like a rage blackout. i remember screaming at the top of my lungs at him to let me out, like my voice is hoarse. anyway i eventually jumped out and it kinda hurt but then i thought i lost my phone so i was walking along the streets and it turns out it was in the car. so we got back in and drove home.

it's fine now but i have marks on my neck and i dont usually wear makeup so i dont know how to cover them or how to explain them what do i do yall

i also have started to have like rage like that since being with him. it's hard to explain but i was self medicating for like a decade with alcohol and ED stuff and now that i'm not doing that it's like i'm still fucked up and don't know what to do with myself. 99% of the time i'm a functioning normal human but now when i get mad i completely lose my shit. i dont know where this came from or what to do with it :( :(

(yes i know this sounds toxic af)

No. 189256

>>189255
What the fuck why are you two even together? You both sound like overly temperamental kids, break the fuck up and dont even date until you have that shit under control.

What about this situation makes it hard to see that you two should not be together? You're fucking violent with each other, it's clearly not good and neither of you sound equipped to handle a casual friendship, let alone an adult romantic relationship.

No. 189257

>>189256
we aren't even really in a relationship i guess, its complicated. he's helping me get citizenship here and he helped me get away from my old life. he's done a lot for me, so much i can't even write it all, but there's also a lot of resentment; i lied to him, etc. and now we are just kinda in limbo waiting for my residency to go through. it's going to be difficult when that happens though because we do care about each other, we are just not right for each other, obviously.

No. 189258

>>189256
>>189257
i also want to add that majority of the time we are fine. we take care of each other, look after one another, are companions, etc. but when we fight… it gets really bad. it's not that often thank god but yeah, today was one obviously

No. 189259

>>189257
So he's a greencard.
Either way you're not cut out for a relationship if you can't not rage and be shitty without being drunk or anorexic or whatever. You have to sort that shit out before you even think about dating.

Go to AA, go to therapy, get medicated, something but don't just let it go and pretend this is okay because it isn't 24/7. 'When it's not a total shitshow its nice!' Is a weak excuse. If it was a decent relationship the shitshow wouldn't happen.

Break up.

No. 189260

>>189259
no point breaking up now, we've been doing this for a few years now just waiting. its close to the end now so it would be a total waste of these years if we broke up now.

i like this country, i'm glad to be away from the US, i want to live here and i am close to permanent residency.

i will not jump into a relationship when we separate, and i will definitely work on myself some more. i am on medication btw and did aa and therapy for years and i can't really do therapy here yet because i'm not a citizen so it's too expensive, yet another thing i am waiting for.

No. 189261

>>189260
At the very least you need to spend as little time as possible with him. If you can't get to therapy start going over all the therapy you have done and start applying it to day to day life so you can stop raging in place of drinking and shit. Having done the therapy is useless if you're not applying it. What are you doing day to day to manage these rages? Or to identify the source of them? How are you two communicating about this shit? What calms you down or slows the onset of your aggression?
He's clearly not a good person to be around, are there seriously no other options? Idk how immigration works where you live, the laws in my country explicitly forbid what you're doing.

No. 189272

>>189260
I sincerely hope it's nowhere in Europe, wouldn't want to be on the same continent as you two.

No. 189278

>taking crash course online to finish up my degree
>get government teacher who failed to be in office so now he submits to journals about how Obama ruined america and unwed mothers are the devil
>he takes pride in shooting you down for being wrong but doesn't tell you why you're wrong or how to fix it
>barely managing to keep a passing grade even though I'm a 4.0 student everywhere else
>have quiz every other day over subjective quote analysis
>he is constantly late opening the quiz for us to take
>should have 2 days to complete it, if we're lucky we get half that time
>work all day from 8-4
>have to panic finish quiz before he takes it down early
>getting worse grades every time due to having less time to study since we don't know what will be covered until he opens the quiz

kill me.

No. 189285

>junior in college
>applied to over 40 internships in my field
>rejected from all, even after phone interviews
>apparently was too late applying for summer internships
>currently applying for retail jobs
>rejection from fucking everything continues

I'm depressed as fuck. It's not like I have 0 retail experience, either. I guess everyone is applying to the same jobs as me, but I didn't expect it to be this difficult to get hired at some shitty store and earn minimum wage.

I've been told by several people in my field that my resume is great, have even sent cover letters along, but everything comes out to be ignored or rejected. Time to start looking for Fall internships…

No. 189289

I had a very realistic dream about catching up with my ex-boyfriend. The only reason I broke up with him was because I was ashamed about my shitty family drama and I felt like I couldn't be supportive in a relationship at the time he asked me out. It's been a few years since I've seen him and I don't use social media anymore either, so I feel kind of weird about thinking of him so vividly.

No. 189291

I've tried to be a friend to this guy in my course and now I'm worried he's getting weird. He's getting annoyingly creepy, like showing me shit on 9gag while I'm trying to listen or doing weird high-fives. I'm trying to be friendly to everyone because I used to be the weirdo alone in the corner and I have no fucking idea how to handle this.

No. 189292

I just want to fucking die. I can't even explain how miserable things are right now.

No. 189293

>>189292
Do some deep breathing, anon. I hope you're going to be ok.

No. 189294

>>189293
thank you, anon

No. 189318

I was going to see one of my favourite drag queens tomorrow but this week my mental health has been horrible so I've given away my ticket, apologised to who I was going with, and I'm just going to shut myself in instead. I don't want this to be a 'let's cancel everything and isolate myself' depression-influenced move that I'll regret soon, but I also don't want the memories of that night to be centered around the fact that I wanted to die. I don't know what the best choice would be but I guess I'm just going to have to see her when she comes back.

No. 189323

I wish I never dropped out of college. After a fucking horrible year I decided to drop out to focus on myself and try look for a job and then perhaps start over but almost a year later I'm still unemployed with no luck and feel like I'm wasting my time with self studying. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, and if I had known I'd be a deadbeat a year later I would have stuck around for 2 more years and graduated, mental illness or not.

No. 189408

Pretty sure I'm about to get my third warning in a 30 day period of time from my job.

First one was because I didn't count all of the products when I got done cleaning them before I went to the next step for a validation and accidentally left one behind (it was the end of the day and it blended in with the tub I was cleaning them in… I also didn't know at the time how many there were to begin so I just went on with whatever). That was a verbal warning. Not major, but required. My error was caught by someone else and we could fix the problem in the same day.

Second was an actual written warning that involved a correctional action plan and that was because I didn't have time to pH test a batch of media before we sent it to a customer to do an internal investigation with. Spoilers, it turned out it was in the correct range, but if it wasn't they probably would've dropped us as a customer and I more than likely would have been fired… but this situation only came about because I am overworked and there's probably sexism going on in the work place (the only male lab employee doesn't have to clean shit while the actual supervisor, who is female, does? bullshit. He also apparently isn't allowed to do any trivial shit I do either, despite having the same level of education AND the manager thinking he isn't far enough along with his understanding of things despite how long he's worked here. It's utter bullshit. I'm fairly certain I'm smarter than him because in lab meetings I at least speak up and throw suggestions out there for shit we should try when he just stays quiet.)

and now, the third one that will more than likely happen, is that I didn't remind the manager to call the water system people about a bi-annual maintenance thing that literally no one else in the lab can do aside from them. Surely that should be their responsibility, right? They're the only one who can call the company that services the system and the only one who can schedule an appointment. Why do I need to tell them every other day to do it? (which I have before on a quarterly thing and they literally did not get it done until the last week of the month). That shouldn't be my job. That takes unnecessary time out of both of our days for me to constantly remind them of something /they should already fucking be doing/.

Jeeze.
Like, thank fuck we finally pulled someone else from another department to help me I cannot handle everything I am supposed to do on my own, and it shows on these fucking timesheet we have to keep when I'm completing over 45 lines of shit and the guy I complained about above MAYBE does 10. He's in charge of different shit, but he has barely completed any of it in the past 5 months and the vice-president of the company has noticed this.

You know?
Maybe he isn't in the person for the job.

Maybe I'm just salty because the other guy is paid more and basically does jack shit.

who knows.

No. 189409

>>189408
>nothing is ever my fault, it must be everyone else or the patriarchy
Anon, read what you wrote.

No. 189410

File: 1493954222962.jpg (4.21 KB, 160x180, 1492715402457.jpg)

>>189408
>wahhh it blended in
>wahhh I'm overworked
>wahhh sexism

Damn anon, take some responsibility for your fuck ups. I mean, they were mistakes, but own up to them instead of blaming it on everything but yourself.

>I'm fairly certain I'm smarter than him because in lab meetings I at least speak up and throw suggestions out there for shit we should try when he just stays quiet.


Uhhh, what does being quiet have to do with how smart a person is? He's not the one with 3 warnings to his name, so he's obviously doing something right, even if it's not what you think he should be doing.

No. 189411

Just did the last of my coke and my dealer hasn't text me back for a week. Feeling worried and hoping someone will play Capt. Save-a-hoe for me this weekend.

No. 189412

>>189408
>is that I didn't remind the manager to call the water system people
I agree that the other two are pretty much on you, but what's with that last warning?
Is it in your job description to have to remind your manager to do their job? That's absolute bullshit unless you said you were going to but didn't/forgot.

>>189411
This is me but with weed. Except my bf has been getting my dabs/flower from coworkers ever since we moved to a red state. They're spotty at best. I ask him to ask the coworkers and then give the money. It's frustrating bc I can never buy in bulk, so it always feels like I'm being ripped off and paying for his coworker's shit.
I even went through the trouble of buying a really nice oil rig for myself, but bf's coworker got annoyed that I went through a gram a week. I even mentioned how I wanted to buy in bulk and nothing. Now I'm fucked and being ignored.

No. 189414

>>189412
Yeah I asked some people I know if they could hook me up/score for me and I'd pay them back for it but no responses yet. To be fair they're all probably asleep because we have work tomorrow lol. Getting weed where I live is easy but as it becomes more accessible I feel like other drugs are less accessible. Weed is chill for like a night in watching HGTV or whatever but I like to go a little harder.

No. 189416

Today I felt like I've been ganged up on by my GP and my support person to take medicine for schizophrenia, I do not have schizophrenia and I have the right to refuse treatment. I shut down and blanked out for about 5 hours because of the stress this caused me but I need to relax and remember they can't force me to take these medications, the sooner I get back with my psychiatrist the better.

No. 189417

>>189408
>I'm fairly certain I'm smarter than him because in lab meetings I at least speak up and throw suggestions out there for shit we should try when he just stays quiet.
You talk more therefore… you're smarter? The fuck? I hope obnoxious retards like you don't actually view quiet people like they're some kind of primitive husk. Did you ever stop to think that maybe he doesn't feel comfortable in meetings? Maybe he just doesn't want to share thoughts and has nothing to say. Either way, you sound like a self righteous cunt that no one would enjoy being around so I wouldn't be surprised if all of those minor things was an excuse to just get rid of you.

No. 189419

>>189416
Who says you don't have schizophrenia? No offence but anybody diagnosed with a psychotic disorder isn't considered reliable when assessing their mental state.

When we're you diagnosed, and was it by a psychiatrist after observations?

No. 189420

>>189408
Sounds like you're not cut out for the job not him.

You said you neglected your duties twice and now you're blaming him because he's quiet in meetings and doesn't have to do the same duties as his supervisor? Wtf?

No. 189422

>>189408
OK I kind of feel bad for you because some other anons are piling up on you a bit but you did fuck up. That doesn't mean it's entirely your fault though, sounds like they expect too much from you and not enough from themselves and your coworker. In those circumstances making mistakes is understandable.
Look for another job, get an offer, then talk to management about your issues and if they don't do anything about it then leave.

No. 189428

>>189419
It's fine, I understand how it sounds.

I've gotten diagnosed with bipolar disorder by 3 different psychiatrists

No. 189429

File: 1493977476243.jpg (132.28 KB, 498x527, it crowd.jpg)

>>189422
Fresh meat is always at bottom of the hierarchy.
It is not clear who is the supervisor (anon or not) but if she works more than her subordinates then she is clearly not fit for the position. This may explain the disproportionate work loads.

>>189408
Please don't stay in an abusive relationship.

No. 189431

>>189428
Psych diagnosis are tricky. They are never clear cut like in the books, a lot of people have overlapping disorders. What medication are they suggesting? A neuroleptic? Are you already taking something for the bipolar diagnosis?
Maybe they want to try something else because it's not working.
I've been moved from a depression diagnosis, to GAD, to 'a lot of suffering'(whatever that meant) to 'yeah, we actually don't know, we're just going to try whatever and hope it works' over the years.
Don't focuse too hard on the diagnosis, what is important is the med they are putting you on and the general treatment offered. A diagnosis of schizophrenia is not a new identity you have to endorse for life, it may be the way to find better treatment if it's actually the issue.

No. 189434

>>189323
If you've gone a year without being able to find a job, you're not applying to the right jobs. You just need to do shitty jobs no one else wants. Apply to more manual labor jobs, they hire women more often than you think. You can get them by not being an alcoholic. That's literally all it takes. Hell, you can get them even with alcoholism as long as you don't show up to the interview too drunk.
>>189428
A lot of drugs for schizophrenia also treat bipolar disorder. They're extremely similar conditions with similar treatments. Stop complaining about being treated like a crazy person when you literally are a crazy person. Living in denial isn't going to help.

No. 189438

I'm guilting myself into doing chores to make it up to my bf for being such a fucking crazy mess. I feel like such a fucking dead weight.

No. 189443

Ugh the sudden influx of blogging in every thread makes me want to rip my hair out. No body cares about how you look like. No body is going to compliment you for how you say you look. Its an anonymous image board ffs. If you have some experience to compare with, great. But there is no need to post about your heritage, eye colour, ass and bust size, if the discussion is about a flakes photoshopped waist. If it isn't specifically relevant to the tread, shut the fuck up. This also goes for threads where its okay to powerlevel. No need to include every fucking detail of your life, if the thread is about your clothing style.

And where does all this powerleveling come from? I can't remember there being so much of it a couple of months ago.

No. 189445

>>189443
I noticed that too, terrible.




I found my old blogs on the web archive/way back machine, didn't know they collect that stuff automatically? Kind of creepy since I try to stay somewhat anon on the internet.
Glad they have an option to get the sites removed from there.

No. 189446

>>189443
It's almost summer, I'm guessing it's an influx of younger, newer users who feel this is edgier tumblr.

No. 189447

>>189446
>>189443
>>189445
I love when they leave their embarrassing email addresses for us
verbally burn them and report, if we all pull our weight against it then it will pass faster

No. 189448

>>189443
god this drives me fucking nuts, I always want to point it out but then I seem like a huge bitch.
>>189408
you fully deserve all those warnings, just because another person isn't doing their job well enough doesn't mean you get to slack off.

No. 189452

I'm so sick of running into fandom cows aka the ones who are self-absorbed and talk like they're the ambassador of whatever fandom you're in. They're never artists or writers (people who actually contribute to fandoms) so I don't get where the self-important attitude comes from and why these people even have followers.

No. 189456

I don't find joy i drawing anymore. I have the inspiration and the will to do it sometimes, but it just feels to fucking tedious and boring that i give up early. The only thing that makes drawing fun is weed, which is hard to come by where i live. But i don't want to rely on drugs to be able to do something i've always loved to do. I want to finish my graphic novels and all the projects i've started throughout the years.
It feels like i've run out of fuel. I WANT to draw, but as soon as i try i lose all will to continue, no matter if i finish a piece or not, it's just never fun.

No. 189457

>>189456
Try forcing yourself to do studies. Just a quick study every single day.

Helps me when I'm in a drawing rut. Plus you improve a lot as well.

No. 189467

I failed my driving exam four times and given up since then and it makes me feel like shit whenever I think about it.
I don't really want to try again until I can pay it myself, I feel awful having wasted my parents money like this. We're well-off so it's not a big deal but I hate it anyways.
Plus I really dislike the driving school's director, it makes me bitter all my failures went straight to his wallet.

No. 189468

>>189416
>I do not have schizophrenia
>I shut down and blanked out for about 5 hours

Anon…

No. 189470

File: 1494005052343.jpg (14.88 KB, 236x218, mama bear.jpg)

I work for an airline and you'd be amazed at how many helicopter parents I have to deal with talking about their ADULT children like they're helpless children. I'm talking 20+ year old adults.

Last night this mama bear became outraged at me because I was "talking too calmly" and not mirroring her screaming and being upset because her 21 year old's flight was canceled. She had a wedding to be at today, as a guest. Even though it's completely on them for booking the evening departures the day before little precious had to be at the event. Mama bear was demanding I pull a plane out my ass because little precious was going to likely have to overnight at a hotel (that we would pay for) and maybe catch a flight tomorrow.
Ironically, little precious would have made a connecting flight out had she womaned up and spoke to me directly instead of three-waying me between mama and papa bear for 20 minutes before giving me the info I needed to help.

I'd say I have a higher amount of patience than the average person, but I really felt like telling this mom that I'm only about 4 years older than her daughter, and if she couldn't handle being stuck at an airport we offer a minor escort service starting at $150 so an "adult" staff member can hold her hand.

Fuck.

No. 189473

>>189456
the only thing that helps me continue drawing is turning on my fav tunes and thinking about the badass shit im about to create. and i get bonus feels for being more productive than just sitting around browsing the internet or watching movies.

No. 189474

Kind of a vent, kind of not, but..
my boyfriend and I have been on a break and then we just got back together. I love him more than ever but it's been such a long relationship and there are so many gorgeous men around. Casual sex has never really appealed to me than now, but I still value not cheating over anything. But it's nice having a sex drive again and knowing you're desired by people that aren't your long term boyfriend.

No. 189477

>>189474

Just cuck him with a Chad, what's there to lose?

No. 189480

>>189477
>Chad
Her self-respect.

No. 189481

>>189477

Trust and respect?

No. 189490

>>189480

She would be with a Chad if she had self respect.

No. 189494

>>189490
Not necessarily, no.

No. 189496

>>189409
When you look at the time sheets we do, I am literally doing the most active work in the lab. Kill me for wanting him to wipe down the damn countertops when he has time to put "Sonic run" on his timesheet and I'm lucky if I get to sit down any time other than for lunch.

>>189410
>>189417

I really could have worded that part better but alcohol made me think you guys could read my mind lol. What I meant was, when we're looking for solutions to tests that have fucked up, I'm throwing out ways we can retest and figure out if we can get some sort of results that way or show where we went wrong. And some of them have actually worked out. He's not putting any suggestions out into the open. I'm at least trying to figure out why things went wrong instead of not saying anything. That's what gets me. It's not wahwah quiet people are dumb, it's an "I'm trying to fix shit that's not working" thing. I'm honestly sorry if it came off that way because I am typically quiet myself, but I need them to know I am trying to find ways to improve the way we do things so that I can move up or, at the very least, show that I can think of new ways to test items that fail.

>>189420
We're the essentially the same ranking. We're both lab technicians. We both have secondary positions, as well. Because he's a "validation tech" (that has only fully completed one or two internal validations when apparently he's not really meeting the expectations the vice-president of the company had set for this position.) he's apparently exempt from cleaning, while someone who is ranked as a supervisor is responsible for cleaning doesn't seem right.

>>189422
We've thrown another person in to aide with my position, and it has helped a lot. I'm frequently reminded that I'm essentially the backbone of the lab and that without me testing wouldn't get done… because I am responsible for making sure everything is made and prepared for others to test with, making sure all glassware and instruments are clean, making sure things are decontaminated so another department can ship the off, kill any of our testing that has positive growth in it, and making sure what rooms we are responsible to keep clean are clean… while also having to do testing and make sure any in-house daily maintenance/calibration is done. It's not easy to balance so when someone can throw five minutes to do something to help move things along is immensely helpful.

>>189429
Basically, it goes Lab Manager>Supervisor>Technician. And Manager should be in charge of making the call to get our system checked, as I found out this morning. It has, apparently, never been the technician's responsibility in the past (we recently had a change in management so that screwed things up) so it shouldn't fall on my head, luckily.



I'm sorry if my original post really seemed like unclear self-pity ramblings. I was drunk and hormonal. I'm still mildly drunk and hormonal, but really have been doing my best at my job that I can. He actually did get a warning for not cleaning up after testing because it impeded the ability for someone else to test in a timely manner. He typically expects things to be cleaned up after him most of the time and that's what grinds my gears the most because it's typically in the way of me getting what I need to do done because I either have to take the time to clean it myself or wait for him to do it… in which me cleaning it up is the quickest option to do… but this time I chose not to do it because that isn't my responsibility to clean up after his testing.


I guess I should also note it's really hard to get fired here. Like, really hard. The only people who have ever been fired got fired for stealing from the workplace. I'm using it for experience for the most part, but clearly this might be moot territory since my reviews may or may not be good (judging my responses from you guys lol).

I recognize I messed up on the pH thing, honestly that wouldn't have happened if we didn't have to stay late one day and the manager made an off-hand comment about hoping the pH wasn't off and my honest ass saying I hadn't had time to test it (it was from the same batch).
It's a catch-22 most of the time because they don't want us to have overtime for internal things, but that's what I personally need to have overtime for–to do internal things.

No. 189497

>>189477
>>189490
Fuck off robot, stop forcing your cuck fantasies into everything.

No. 189508

Yay, my boyfriend went off on me yet again and started accusing me of things because I've been playing a game a lot with some random guy, I've explained he was a random but it didn't make a difference and he started threatening me.

I feel like I make way too many posts about him and his shitty behavior here but I've been alienated from everyone else and he keeps me scared from dumping him, I feel fucking helpless.

No. 189511

>>189508
Awww, don't worry anon. I complain about my bf a lot here too but imo it's better than me potentially embarrassing myself by telling friends or come off as dramatic if I vaguepost elsewhere about it.

Your guy sounds like a controlling jerk. I empathize with feeling stuck in a relationship, mine's more out of financial necessity lest I move back in with my parents temporarily or teach overseas.

No. 189512

>>189511
t-thanks anon, lolcow are my only friends ;_; and you guys are the only ones who can give me a harsh reality check when I need it, too.

I know how you feel, he financially controls me as well but I'm looking for a job lowkey so I can move out and hopefully get away from his abuse.

No. 189514

>>189508
Oh my god why do you anons stay with these dudes?

No. 189516

>>189514
Apparently they are scared and financially dependent on them.

No. 189517

>>189516
So start saving whatever pennies you can, and make an escape plan. Don't stay with some controlling asshole who's isolating you from friends and family so he can abuse you jfc.
I'm so sick of women whinging about their shitty and sometimes abusive partners but refusing or making up excuses to leave. Any country that isn't a third world shithole has organisations set up specifically to get women out of this shit. Don't just shrug some goddamn shoulders and say 'oh no I'm just trapped wahhh Wahh poor me' and not even look for a way out.

No. 189519

>>189517
People like you always make me laugh. You really think a controling partner doesn't control the financial aspect of the relationship? It probably wouldn't be an abusive situation if it was that easy to escape in the first place, dumbass.
>wah wah, I've never been truly powerless, threatened or afraid to end up in the streets, it so easy to escape, you just have to want to!!!

No. 189521

>>189519
Yeah props to girls who are mentally strong enough to not get into these situations and can escape them if they happen, but on top of the financial aspects which are all too common, it usually goes down like this:

>be mentally ill girl

>pretty cool, fun, caring guy enters life
>shit gradually goes downhill
>desperately want things to return to how they were before
>know you should leave but the "what ifs" and his apologies make you feel guilty and unsure
>realize you're too fucked to be in a relationship for a long time if you were to escape
>don't want to bother family/friends with the task of building you back up
>don't tell them anything but become moody and distant, effectively pushing them away
>scared of being alone, continue to live with the abuse
>add in some guilt and shame from probably lying to family and friends about how the bf's been treating you

It's… complicated.

No. 189522

>>189521
yeah I hate when people say "lol just leave" about abuse victims. the people I know irl who say that kind of thing are emotionally abusive themselves, it's a red flag for me at this point.

No. 189523

I don't know where to post this but since I really need to vent, I guess it's here.

I've dated a guy for almost a year and even though I am 23, it was my second relationship. I met him while I was on student exchange and about 5 months into dating relationship became long distance.
Everything seemed great, common hobbies, similar sense of humor, lots of fun etc. He was cute and kind to me and I was really happy at first because finally everything seemed to be going well. I think I fell in love quite quickly.

But as time passed by, even though I would ask him about him, he didn't really show interest in anything about me or my life that wasn't somehow tied to him. When our relationship became LD, daily communication continued thorough messages. But, again, if I told him how's my day been - he would just reply with "ah" or "I see". Like I would tell him that I finally managed to find a job, he would say "that is great" but would never ask what kind of job and would just proceed to talk about another topic.
It really started to confuse me and when I would seek advice, people would usually assume he didn't want to communicate and wanted to move on. That is what I thought at first too, but he was very adamant about staying in relationship. He would talk to me on daily basis, initiating conversations, just never about our lives generally.

I started getting very anxious about the whole thing and whenever I tried to talk to him about this problem, he would freak out and make me seem like I am going crazy and making things up. I didn't come at him aggressively, I just wanted to talk. That would make me feel guilty and I would end up apologizing. It discouraged me to talk openly with him as there was always some lingering sense of guilt.

My life got harder which made me go in a bad mental state. First my grandfather who I was very close with was dying and later I found out my father cheated on my mother. I needed support but every time I tried talking to him about it, he would just reply with a cold "oh, that's bad." and would ignore me.
When I told him I feel awfully lonely, but he would just brush me off about how he has also been lonely at some points in his life but since he is a man, nobody supported him and I as a woman have it way more easier because…I'm a woman?

My idiotic self finally broke up with him, but he would still message me, sending me fucking internet memes, and since I was a wreck and feeling lonely, I would message him back and a part of my brain hoped that things would go back to normal and that he would somehow magically start caring.

One day, he suddenly tells me how he didn't get the job he wanted and worked hard for several months. I felt bad regardless everything that happened and tried empathizing with him but he just berated me instead. (Again, I have no idea why, I think he thinks everything in my life is peachy.)
I just went into some sort of panic attack and he blocked me because "he doesn't need this."

I don't know why I am so retarded and why I stuck so long. I feel worthless and stupid. And I still miss him, I don't even know why. Fuck me.

No. 189524

>>189523
oh god i just realized how long my post is, sorry guys

No. 189526

>>189519
There are shelters for women who have been abused that will let you stay at them for free in every first world country. There is literally no excuse. People need to take personal responsibility for their lives. People like you who excuse everything they do because "it's hard" are part of the problem.

No. 189527

>>189526
Oh well, then. You heard this anon, abused people. Just leave all your possessions to your abusive partner and go live in a shelter, let them threaten the lives of your parents if you leave, let them threaten to up and leave with your kids and never letting them see you ever again, start a new life when your partner forced you out of working, studying and having friends, without any savings or jobs prospects.
Take responsability, ffs! Just throw yourself in a life of misery and probably further abuse!

Yeah, ok. You have so little awareness it's painful.

No. 189528

>>189523
You don't deserve such a shitty guy, anon. You should have left earlier, but it happens. It doesn't mean you're stupid, it just means you cared about him and were probably going through some rough times.

You deserve better. Don't lose hope.

No. 189529

>>189527
Oh well then. You heard this anon, just stay with some abusive asshole who makes you hate yourself and makes you fear for your safety and makes you want to kill yourself. Never stand up for yourself and just be a slave to your emotions even though your logical mind knows that you're in a horrible situation. Remember people's emotions should always be validated no matter what the cost is to them! Just throw yourself into a life of guaranteed further abuse and misery because trying to change might not work out!

kys. Again, you're part of the problem.

No. 189530

>>189529
I sincerely hope you're just young and lack maturity because if you think temporary stays at shelters are all abused women need to get on their feet after years of abuse, you're really naïve.
This kind of thinking is harmful and insulting to victims.

No. 189531

File: 1494080870231.jpg (92.34 KB, 726x1000, ad_121972919.jpg)

>>189527
>threaten the lives of your parents
That is a criminal offence.
>threaten to up and leave with your kids and never letting them see you ever again
Not legal either.

If any one of these happen to you please contact your local police.

>>189530
Now this is the problem. No one should stay in an abusive relationship for any length of time.

It is certain that only people susceptible (did i use the word correctly?) to abuse get into an abusive relationship in the first place, but it is no excuse for sticking with the same man for even a minute. Admittedly it can take a long time for the situation to worsen but the signs are all there. Yet millions of women tend to ignore it or rationalize if for too long.

No. 189532

>>189527
You're literally saying people should continue to be helpless victims and shouldn't ever change and do anything to help themselves get out of it. Fuck you. I'm not saying it's easy, I'm saying it's necessary. There is a point where we have to stop coddling people and excusing every poor decision they make because they have emotional reasons for those decisions. You're an enabler of abuse, so again, fuck you. You are the reason so many children grow up in homes with abusive parents. You're the reason so many children get raped and beaten by their abusive fathers. You're those children grow up to kill themselves or drown themselves in alcohol or destroy themselves with drugs. There is a point when people do actually need to take responsibility for their actions.

No. 189533

>>189532
I love the 'take your responsalibities' bit. With it, you can justify anything.
> why fight for abortion? Women just should take their responsabilities.
> why give more funding to mental health programs? Addicted people just should take their responsabilities.

Abuse is so much more complicated than 'just leave lol'. I'm not saying you shouldn't leave. OF FUCKING COURSE YOU SHOULD LEAVE. But thinking wanting to leave is enough to do it when you're knee deep in it and just realised something is really wrong is just pure fantasy. It doesn't help victims. It makes them feel even more vulnerable in a situation where they is no win. You stay, you get abused. You leave, you get yourself into a miserable situation (sometimes worse than the one you leave) for years to come.

No, reducing really complex situation to dumb statements never helped anyone.
You guys keep telling homeless people to stop drinking and depressed people to smile, tho, maybe i'm really wrong and it's just THAT SIMPLE.

No. 189534

It's not really a vent post, more like what the fuck am I doing with my life post, but maybe this is a suitable thread so idk. I'm really lonely, to the point I started stalking a few guys online and lately irl too. They revealed enough info on some imageboards and forums so it was rather easy to get to know them. This way I can pretend I have a boyfriend. I know I'm pathetic and that I should kill myself but I'm really lonely. I constantly try to muster courage and "accidentally" bump into them and try to make a relationship but I'm ugly so what's the point.Life's shit. Stalking is addicting btw, it feels as you're part of their lives.

No. 189536

>>189533
Agree with you 100% anon.
I usually just assume anons posting platitudes like that are trolling and don't dignify them with a response. Good for you for spelling it out like that, situations like these are never that simple.

No. 189539

>>189468
this is really sad. the guys kinda cute but you can tell how lethargic and stressed he is.

No. 189540

File: 1494100468453.png (228.76 KB, 640x160, stacylavelle.png)

I don't get along very well with my parents for a lot of reasons, but I'm a total loser that still lives at home despite being 24. My mentally unstable ass can't hold down a job and the little money I do make from "side hustles" isn't enough to live off of (like $30-50 a month IF I'm lucky). I don't have friends or any other family to live with and sometimes it is just UNBEARABLE knowing I have to interact with them. But then I feel like a giant asshole because I should be grateful that I'm living in their house, that they're supporting me and I'm not homeless. I know I have a lot of blessings. But I just get so angry, and frustrated, and I want to be away from them because they make me feel angry and frustrated.

The worst is my father. He was abusive when I was younger, but he mellowed out a lot when I became a teen. I think a lot of it too was that I got old enough to fend for myself so not being as dependent on him = less asking him for things = less abuse. And now that I'm an adult he pretty much acts like none of it ever happened. We don't talk about it, and if it comes up he will actually completely deny it or accuse me of having faulty memories. So on the one hand I try to just act as if it never happened either. But then little things he does will remind me even though they aren't harmful now…like if he stomps around and slams a door, or shouts/uses a harsh tone, it's like my brain mentally reverts back to being a little kid and I feel helpless and scared all over again. And that makes me angry and scared so I withdraw, and he gets mad at me for "acting strange". Or sometimes I feel so overwhelmed by it I cry, and then he shouts at me for "having tantrums". He talks to me like a child, and treats me like a child (he assumes women are by default unintelligent, he treats my mother the same way) and that also doesn't help when my brain goes back into child-mode.

I'm just tired of thinking about my parents all the time. We live in the same house and see each other all day every day so I guess it makes sense but on the other hand jesus. I would kill for just one day where I don't think about them at all. I really, really try but for some reason it's hard.

If I would have known when I was younger that this is what my life would be like at my age I legit would have killed myself. I'm not suicidal, but just…damn. This sucks and feels like it's been this way forever and will never change. Weh weh weh.

No. 189541

>>189526
sage for double posting but tbh have you ever been to a shelter? have you had to stay in one? they are not fun, it blows my mind how some people think they are a sanctuary and you can just up and leave and stay at a shelter.

first of all its very very hard to find ones with open beds. yes there's a handful of others who might be fleeing abuse or down on their luck but the vast majority (at least in my city) are there because of extreme untreated mental illness or addiction problems. it is NOT a safe environment. it's safer than being on the streets, or maybe living with someone threatening your life, but that's setting the bar low. its not like a dorm or a hostel or anything like that.

also, and I'm pretty sure this is true everywhere regardless of city, your shit will get stolen. absolutely. anything even slightly valuable will get taken, and even petty stuff like shampoos and toiletries get filched.

its fucked up but I completely understand if someone in an abusive relationship who is still at the point where they feel like they can "handle" the abuse (been there) would not exactly view a shelter as a viable option.

No. 189544

>>189540
I kinda get how you feel anon, although I'm only 19. My dad used to abuse me as a kid and we just don't talk about it anymore, and my mom is a raging hateful bigot and listening to her complain about everything and everyone is very draining. Living with them is mentally exhausting. That fucking sucks that your dad gaslights you like that and treats you like a child.

No. 189546

>>189541
I know how bad shelters can be, but that still doesn't mean they aren't better than getting beaten.

There are organisations other than shelters that can help, and the police are a thing that exist. Any family violence organisation is better than doing absolutely nothing. These organisations can help with financial assistance, getting you to a doctor, getting therapy, getting housed, getting employed etc.

Losing stuff sucks, but is better than violence, and lots of FV orgs will assist you in either getting your shit back or replacing it. Police can provide an escort to get your belongings.

If the safety of your family or self is in danger because he's threatening to do stupid shit, again, police are a thing. They can watch the family's home or the abusers and prevent further violence.

There is always an option to leave and acting like it's ever better to stay is bullshit.

No it's not a good situation, but it's better than being abused or having kids be abused.

No. 189547

>>189546
>I know how bad shelters can be, but that still doesn't mean they aren't better than getting beaten.

Not the anon you're responding to, and no offense, but you don't really know. You're kind of running on the assumption that being alone, unstable, and stuck in shelters (which do report lots of crime btw) is that much better. Assuming the abuse is always physical. What if it's just emotional or mental abuse? What if the partner is only threatening?

No. 189551

>>189547
Plus, most shelters let you stay for a very short time. And then, what do victims do? They have to go back to an angry partner more eager than ever to show them their place or be on their own (and honestly, if it's been years, it's a classical pattern of abuse to have been cut off entierely from family and friends so you have noone to turn to).

No. 189552

Feeling hella unloved by my boyfriend of 3 years. We had a splendid sex life before, perfect even. But as of late we maybe have sex once a month then maybe oralsex here and there. Idk, we've both been busy with work but that didn't affect us before.

It's just like every day life has become too predictable.

No. 189553

>>189552
Same.
And I get so many mixed messages if whether or not this kind of sexual stagnation is "normal."
Even my own my and dad haven't had sex in years and are still together, but I also know that their sexual and romantic needs are different than mine. Meanwhile I'm freaking out reading articles online that say that if there's no sex in what used to be a sexual relationship, it's in trouble.

I don't know what to think or how to believe.

No. 189555

>>189547
>>189551
Sounds like you're somewhere without decent domestic violence laws and resources. The shelters and orgs I know of provide long term case management to get people into stable accommodation instead of sending them back to the abuser to get fucked up. What nightmare land are you in? India?
Any remotely functional social service system does more than just throw you a cot to sleep in whilst some crackhead steals your shoes. Sorry, I honestly thought you'd be from somewhere with first world social work. The system
You guys have is all kinds of useless and fucked up if staying with any sort of abuser is typically considered the better option holy shit.

No. 189557

I really feel like if I died it wouldn't make any difference in the world. Not as in people wouldn't care, I mean more that whether I'm alive or not it doesn't matter because I'm irrelevant and useless. My dream is to be an artist and inspire people and make an impact but it's not going to happen for multiple reasons I don't want to go into. I really hate being alive, if I died yeah, maybe some people would be upset about it, but they would move on eventually and their lives would be the exactly the same as if as I was alive, so why not just fucking die? I'm having trouble wording it but basically, I'm an un-impactful piece of shit, a waste of space and lazy and if killed myself the world wouldn't be missing out on anything. I'm a failure and just disappoint everyone and myself constantly. You know in like sad PSA's when people kill themselves and then they get to see a dramatic montage of what would have happened if they had still been alive, like getting married, settling down, becoming successful etc? Mine would just be nothing, I'm capable of nothing and I have no social life.

I'm shaking and crying so much right now, I don't know what to do. These are all just feelings really maybe they aren't true but I just don't know anymore

No. 189561

>>189555
I live in Murrica and have lived in more than a few cities without public shelters. You're assuming a lot.

No. 189562

>>189561
I honestly had no idea America had such a terrible social service system. I knew the medical side was pants on head retarded, but I thought there were reasonable community resources for what we consider the basics. Sorry fam, I have been very misled about America.

No. 189563

>>189562
Depends on the state and if one lives in a rural area or a city.
It's pretty shit unless you live close to a city with a known homelessness or drug problem.

No. 189569

im scared my insecurities are gonna ruin my relationship

No. 189573

>>189569
what are you insecure about?

No. 189579

>I just need to get this all out of my system, so it's going in the vent thread.

I feel like my life is falling apart and I am too exhausted to try and stop it.
I've just moved out on my own and am struggling a lot with feelings of loneliness and sadness, despite my best efforts to stay connected with my loved ones.

Work has been terrible, with such low profits all hours have been cut and it's so disheartening because I really love my job so much, and to be constantly going to interviews for other jobs just to be able to make ends meet is such a fucking bummer.

I'm at uni and having a crisis of confidence because I'm so close to graduating and I still have no clue what I'll do when I finally finish. I don't even know if I want it anymore, I've got no fucking clue what I want.

And to top it all off, my partner and I are constantly arguing because we're both stressed and so we just bicker and bicker and bicker. I love him very much, but I feel like I would prefer to be alone because I already feel so lonely in this relationship. Fuck.

No. 189592

I remember when I started to develop a crush on this guy. He didn't seem interesting at all and tbh he seemed a bit thristy and desperate. But I've been growing attached to him and sometimes I daydream about us being together. There's a few problems in this whole deal though… It'd be LDR for the most part, at least in the beginning. My ex is crazy and obsessed with me, and he'd probably stalk my new bf making me feel guilty af if anything happened. And he has 2 kids.
There's not much I can do about the first two problems at the moment. And the third isn't exactly one tbh. I really love kids! But the thought of being with someone who has kids from a previous relationship bothers me a lot. I don't even know how to explain. It's like I need to be the only who will have kids with him, otherwise things aren't right. Also I don't want him to have to talk to his ex, and he will have to, since his kids are still young. This fucking sucks…

No. 189594

>>189552
>>189553
This sounds perfectly normal. I'm in the same situation as you, anons, having been with my boyfriend for 5 years. I'm okay with it. He says he's okay with it. And that's just how life is when you've reached comfortability with another person. It doesn't mean your relationship is worse than before.

No. 189650

I'm happy about the French election. I thought I would feel nothing being gone so long, but I ended up stupidly humming the ode to joy yesterday before the presidential speech.
Maybe I should go back.

No. 189652

File: 1494228547824.jpg (68.85 KB, 560x330, IMG_3472.JPG)

I grow ugly coarse facial hair like a man and my gyno says there's nothing she can do. I seriously want to kms over it

No. 189656

>>189650
Of course you should go back, France is the best.
I was interested what would happen if MLP had won but this is definitely better. I don't expect much to happen but I still hold hope for good things.

No. 189657

>>189592
These are all issues that are fine by themselves, but all of them in conjunction plus it being mostly LDR? Love yourself and find someone else. If you want to go LDR you have to really think that person is perfect for you to both worth it for both of you, but as it is in your words he's just a guy you're getting attached to. Also it's best to only get involved with someone that has kids when you know that it's something real and long term. Thirdly, if you're overcoming issues with your ex (nobody owes anyone a relationship, period) you probably aren't ready for the serious kind of LDR that also involves kids, and so you should try to find someone nearby that won't be just adding to your pile of issues.
>tl;dr just don't

>>189579
These are all really normal things anon, is the a counselor on campus you can speak to? I know you're busy with work and studying but are you making sure to look after yourself enough by eating well, getting a little exercise and seeing a friend once a week? The important issues are graduating and paying your bills, so don't feel like you need to have your life planned out by now so hang in their. Most people that have it all worked out often end up changing their minds anyway or not being able to cope when things don't go to plan!

No. 189672

I just got dumped from a casual thing. I feel stupid and want to be in a different place in my life. Not this eternal loser loop of recovery. Depression has been creeping up on me hard aswell. I really want waiting time for daily clinic to be over and to get on with therapy and recovery.
I also regret putting myself out there. What was I thinking? Ah yes, I was being lonely and pathetic. Now back to being all alone again

No. 189674

>>189657
I never got why anons always get upset in the vent thread when others try to help, but now I get it. I was just venting in the vent thread. Lol.

>Thirdly, if you're overcoming issues with your ex (nobody owes anyone a relationship, period) you probably aren't ready for the serious kind of LDR that also involves kids, and so you should try to find someone nearby that won't be just adding to your pile of issues.


I just want to clarify that my ex and i broke up over a year ago so the fact that he's still obsessed with me is none of my business – it's his business. It is just something that makes this already hard situation worse. I'm more than ready for a new relationship. Also, you're probably the greatest psych ever since from my post about two of my insecurities you gathered I don't love myself/have a pile of issues, kek.
Next time just skip instead of making assumptions over things that people didn't even detail or explain to begin with. But yeah, i guess you tried to help so thanks… I suppose.

No. 189676

>>189522
>>189521
>>189530
You're talking as if anon is telling Joseph Fritzl's daughterwife to 'just leave', but >>189508 only said how her bf is a jerk that doesn't like her playing videogames with guys. Surely if it was a case of how she literally has no family or friends to crash with for a bit and he beats her every night in a third world country shack, she would have mentioned it. She even admitted here >>189512 herself she needs a reality check and to move out

Fuck your "it's… complicated". Everyone suffers from mental health issues right now, it's rough but it doesn't excuse you from putting your big girl panties on

>>189523
you dodged a bullet. You will be ok anon

>>189674
If you don't like advice don't take it, don't bitch about people taking the time to try

No. 189677

>>189676
You deleted your first post just to add that? Kek. Dont you have anything else to do? You've been in this tread for 2h giving "advice". Here's one for you: do something with your life instead of being judgemental in a vent thread.

Protip: If you don't like my advice don't take it, don't bitch about people taking the time to try. I tried.

No. 189678

File: 1494243925796.jpg (62.51 KB, 600x372, poop.jpg)

ive been on new anti-psychotic meds for 2+ months now and they're amazing but making me super fat. partially they're making me hungry all the time so i just snack and eat bad foods which is my fault, but its also partially chemical and that freaks me out. in studies they legit alter your metabolism and heighten your cholesterol, and it seems like most people and even doctors just say its normal to gain weight and you just live with it…. im supposed to be getting regular bloodwork done to make sure i dont get diabetes which also scares me. i feel gross in all my clothes and i really hate that i have to tell myself every time i eat that i need to stop because i just don't get naturally full anymore. im always hungry or wanting a snack, but its just an illusion (sorry that sounds really anachan i mean more like these meds fuck with my appetite and its just stimulated all the time so there's no cues to stop between "feeling like i'm starving" and "so full my stomach hurts" I have to manually stop myself which is difficult if i'm not careful).

right now im just really happy to finally not feel crazy and sad all the time and pretty much no delusional thoughts at all, but this sucks. i know there are different meds and i could try but goddamn, these are the first ones that actually work for a long period of time and im so hesitant to let them go especially when so many things are looking up otherwise. but its hard to enjoy even small accomplishments feeling this gross about myself all the time.

im afraid of turning into charms lol pic related if you follow her thread you know what i mean.

No. 189680

I want the child sex abuse stories to stay in the sexual abuse thread, and not in the childhood memories story thread
triggering af

No. 189683

>>189680
Same. Report them and wait til admin tells them to stop I guess

No. 189693

>>189678
Look at it this way anon, if you're less crazy now then you're in a way better position to properly manage your diet and exercise. At the very least you'll have to change your diet to include more filling foods (like proteins and fibre) just so that you don't have to be hungry all the time. I know antipsychotics are chemically pretty harsh so you may still end up a little chubbier than you were, but you definitely don't have to resign yourself to getting the beetus. A good diet is basically common sense, being reasonable and knowledgeable, and listening really hard to your body to see if you're craving things that you're lacking (like craving spinach when you're low in iron, or bananas for magnesium etc). keeping a food diary might help you feel more in control too.
and you can try lifting weights, my housemate got super fat on her antipsychotics but started lifting so that all that energy has a place to go, now she's ripped and happy.

No. 189707

>>189678
Have you talked to your shrink about the weight gain? Some people can handle it, some can't. On seroquel, I kept gaining and gaining. I would eat whole pies and still feel ravenous. It wasn't manageable, even if I wanted to stop it, it was the only thing I could think about.
I was near obesity when I decided to stop. Don't wait too much if your weight don't stabilize. Obesity come with its own set of issues and will tank your self-esteem if the benefits you're getting from the meds are not that good.

No. 189713

>>189680
>>189683
>being unironically triggered
What the fuck? This isn't reddit.
A shame it makes you feel bad, yet you're also browsing a website that could easily trigger people with EDs, mental disorders, abuse, etc. but they're given no special considerations. But you should? Nope.

No. 189714

>>189713
Your logic would apply IF we didn't have a sex abuse stories thread, where they should go. Try again.

No. 189726

>>189714

The thread literally has this as the description
>The good, bad, ugly, funny, and crazy.

So sit down stacey, not everyone had perfect lives.

No. 189727

>>189714
Sorry autist, but it's time to take responsibility for your own feelings. I bet mod is laughing at your report spam.

No. 189776

One of my cats got out and I've been looking for him nonstop on top of taking care of a sick one. One of my parents let him out one night and he hasn't been seen since. Since he's technically a colony/feral/TNR cat him being outside is fine but we bring in all cats at night/during bad weather. He's my baby and I miss him so bad. My dad thought "well he's a tom so he'll be ok" but even a neutered tom cat can get a decent distance from home. I'm trying to remain hopeful and have been looking around and constantly checking local shelters/websites but it's been over a week and goddamn am I worried sick.

No. 189784

I just want someone to love me and treat me like the most important person in his life.
I'm sick of guys trying to use me for their sexual gratification, despite my depression.
I got abandoned by an extremely close friend with whom I had this weird relationship like we were almost a couple, even though we were not (he claimed that he was not in love with me, even though he expected me to act like his girlfriend without the privilege of actually being one, told me that he loved me and the like).
After I neglected several of friends in order to be with him when he was having a mental breakdown (he's chronically sick and his illness is stopping him from living his life), ignored my needs in order to be with him when he was suicidal… he has decided that my depression was too much of a burden to him and that I can come back after I fix myself.
I don't blame him, but he still left me all alone, knowing that I was relying on him emotionally and was on the brink of suicide for the last two months.
Yes, again, I know that it must have been exhausting for him.
I want to get better, but also meet someone who will love me for who I am (he was constantly reminding me that I'm not his type, not like the girls that he used to have crushes on etc., even though he knew that I was in love with him and it was tearing me apart and ripping my new-found self-esteem to shreds) and take care of me (to a healthy extend) and not abandon me when I get bad.

Where does one find a cute, emotionally available and mature guy who WON'T treat me like a fuckmeat under the guise of fwb/polyamory?
I always give my soul and body to the one I love and I can't imagine sharing them with anyone…. I just want to be loved like I love.

I'm so alone and I want to die ;')

No. 189785

>>189784
Hugs

Your post made me sad. Wishing you the best.

No. 189792

I have picked up an addiction to food. I've always had a addictive personality, but I've recently finally been able to become sober and get off the drugs. And it seems I've replaced drugs with food.

I am now eating around 4 to 5 thousand calories a day. I have gained 10kg in less than a month. I didn't realise it was a problem because I am still slim looking. But it's looking super likely I'll have gained another 10kg by the end of this month, making me the SAME FUCKING WEIGHT AS MY PREGNANT AUNT.

I've mentioned it to friends and they think I'm just humble bragging or something when I'm really fucking not. My mum and sister are worried about the weight gain, so it's not just me being an anachan or something.

I think it's comfort or stress eating? I know I don't have the self control to reduce my intake, so I'll have to start exercising heavily at the gym before its too late.

I wish I knew the actual cause. But I know deep down it's just who I am, as I'm a person that wants instant gratification whether it's from hard drugs or food.

No. 189797

>>189792
Do you have a particular trigger food?
It sounds stupid but for me it's whole milk. I gained a lot of weight in a short amount of time, similar to you, but it's because I was drinking my calories from milk. Which makes me SO furious because I was eating nothing during this period. Like going through a gallon every other day. Ridiculous.
So I just stopped buying it. If I want something exciting besides water I add some cut up fruit pieces. Eventually my craving went away.

No. 189801

>>189797
Like just milk on its own? Or milk from other foods or drinks?

For me I would say I love salty fried food. Macdonalds and fast food is my favourite when I'm at university.

No. 189802

>>189557
Hey anon, I know this is a few days old but I hope it reaches you. I share a lot of your sentiments which is why I wanted to reply. But as someone who has about 5 years on you, please try to have some faith that while it can take some people a while, eventually things can work out where you are at least content with your existance. You are not worth any more or any less than anyone else. You staying alive should really only be so you can enjoy your own life. While it's hard, there are always changes you can make that will eventually get you closer to a life you will be ok with. Even if you have nothing and feel you amount to nothing, and if things seem like you have been alive for no reason, that doesn't mean you have to fall into making a choice. You can figure out a way to be an artist but also support yourself. You are no more or no less a waste of space than any other human being. I might be assuming you haven't, but try taking some more risks in getting yourself out there. You might find yourself more valued than you thought you would be. But ultimately, valuing yourself, even if you have a pointless existance, is the first step in being content with being alive.

No. 189803

>>189801
Straight milk.
It's a really bizarre comfort food for me. Wish it wasn't so fattening and people weren't so keen to pump dairy cows full of hormones ;;

No. 189804

>>189803
It's definitely not a thing most people would turn to! Have you considered healthier alternatives like nut milks?

No. 189808

>>189804
Oh yeah.
When I'm not being bad I usually buy unsweetened almond or cashew milks that are typically 20-50 calories a glass.
Right now I just have water only as my beverage. It's just easier that way albeit boring and makes me wanna die. At least I don't have to kick myself over drinking calories anymore.

No. 189814

I just need to gain 2-3 more kg and then I can stop this bulk. I hate this shit so much, it just makes me miss being small but having a nice ass and being strong af sure is nice. Just gotta hold a little bit longer.

No. 189815

I want to finally be below 60kg,but damn, I also want to eat all the fries.

No. 189816

>>189815
Can we switch for a bit, I have the opposite problem lol

No. 189820

More of a feel than a vent but I need it off my chest.

>See speedrunner's videos online, take a look

>Oh no he's a qt and pretty funny most of the time
>Some flaws physically (weak chin, kind of high forehead) and some off colour humour but nice smile and real nice voice, hella cute accent, seems like a cool guy
>Oh no
>Think of what it would be like to hang with this guy
>It seems so nice
>Never even spoken to this guy, lives across the fucking pond from me so meeting him would be impossible even if I did somehow catch his attention (I won't)
>Still thinking of it
>This is not normal

Kill me, farmers, I'm pathetic as fuck. I never crush yet here I am.

No. 189822

>>189657
poster of >>189579 here! i've definitely dropped the ball on looking after myself outside of eating my vegetables and personal hygiene. to cap it all off my partner and i have now separated so that's the cherry on top of the shit cake. i definitely need to pay a visit to the counsellors office.

>Most people that have it all worked out often end up changing their minds anyway or not being able to cope when things don't go to plan!

this is oddly comforting, thank you so much.

No. 189832

I weigh almost 110lbs again and it feels awful. I have a soft body again and it's gross.

No. 189852

>press random on batoto
>yaoi
>press again
>shounen ai
>again
>josei smut

God damn admins of this website are bunch of filthy fujoshis.

No. 189892

File: 1494363367978.jpg (28.38 KB, 480x480, 1482780485981.jpg)

It's gonna be incoherent, sorry about that. I'm tired of fandoms and people policing what others should like or dislike, and people complaining about fujoshis like one of them murdered their entire family. I wish there were communities where I could talk about my favorite video games, anime, pairings or anything like that without stupid straight white american girls in denial (the fakebois fujoshi who shit on straight and bi women, you know the ones) telling me that I'm the devil for wanting to read cute sappy fanfics about my favorite slash pairings. It was supposed to be a fun and relaxing hobby, wtf happened?

Also, why are "mlm" fakebois so present on twitter? I thought I managed to avoid them once I made an account on twitter after deleting my tumblr, they're so annoying. Thank god nobody acts like them irl.

No. 189893

>>189892

Are you me? I was just coming in here to bitch about this. Let me enjoy what I like in peace, thanks.

No. 189895

>>189893
Worst part in that is that I don't even enjoy "problematic" things, I either don't mind them or dislike them and avoid them. I can't even like an entertaining female character who wears a bikini armor and without people vaguing at me that I might be a thirsty neckbeard. I just like pretty anf funny characters, it's not that deep. The reverse happens when I say I like popular male characters or anime that girls like a lot, like with the people saying Yuri on Ice was queerbaiting. "Don't like don't read" should make a come back, it's a good phrase for these situations.

No. 189897

I look so damn ugly when I smile. Like when I have a neutral expression I look fine but when I smile or laugh my face shape totally changes and all these weird lines start appearing, not just regular wrinkles and laugh lines but weird unnatural asymmetrical lines. All of this is a result of these surgeries I had as a teen to correct my facial deformities, but fuck. I just hate having to have resting bitch face 24/7, never laughing in front of people or smiling in pictures because if I do I turn into a literal fucking donkey. People always say that I look so mean and being shy just makes it worse brb killing myself

No. 189900

>>189897
me too! I think I look pretty cute when my face is neutral but when I smile my cheekbones puff up and nearly cover my eyes, plus my teeth are way shorter on one side which looks ridiculous.

No. 189901

>>189900
>>189897
Me 3, when I smile I look like a little kid because my teeth are small and my upper lip does a disappearing act.

No. 189949

My boyfriend found the blog I use to document my preferred coping mechanism and confronted me about it tonight.

It's a sensitive topic, something that I've been experiencing/using for 8 years at least, and something that I only very recently opened up to my therapist about (I'm sorry, I'm currently very uncomfortable sharing details– just know that this is something very intimate that very few people, if any, knew about).

He's hurt because I was hiding it from him, I feel hurt because now I feel like I don't have anywhere safe to go. He always finds my sideblogs. I don't want my hurt to override his hurt, but I also feel very strongly about this.

I don't know. I feel sick and I feel like I want to hide myself away further because of this. It's not like the coping mechanism is harmful, because it brings me no harm mentally or physically (which is a nice change in pace considering how I used to handle shit).

No. 189951

>>189892
>people complaining about fujoshis like one of them murdered their entire family.

us fujos are still getting off easily compared to shit like furries or bronies lel. but yeah i get what you mean. i have many happy memories of reading slashfics or yaoi when younger, and it's kinda annoying how what was a fun way to spend time is now used as some grand political statement. but it's best not to get involved in fandoms imo. just browse tags or check for recs and at your own discretion.

i'm kinda uncomfortable discussing fan stuff 1 on 1 myself cause i always feel like someone will end up recommending me some "underaged dyed hair genderqueer twink struggles with dysphoria and autism" type work at some point and if i say i'm not interested i'll be a shitlord.

No. 189959

I'm getting really fed up with my best friend/roommate.
She's never really been able to get her shit together and it's starting to wear on me. Like she never has her rent on time, I have to cover her part and it's really frustrating because I really can't afford to do that. She doesn't feel any remorse or try to change. To make it worse she used my car without permission when I was on vacation and it really pissed me off because I specifically told her not to use it because she totaled her own car.
At this point I want to move out, but I can't afford to live by myself, I don't know anyone looking for a roommate and I'm not sure my credit is good enough to get anything at this point. I could move in with my mom but we don't really get along and I'll be miserable, and I'm dreading that I might have to do that.
Part of me just wants to just run away because everything is too much right now.

No. 189967

>>189959

i hate it when people give last names to their kids as first names. shit like grayson, taylor, parker etc. sounds so whitebread suburban and not in a good way.


>>189959
in the future, never live or work with your close friends, especially best friend. to be able to survive in such close quarters with someone else, there needs to be some respect coming from unfamiliarity.

No. 189969

>>188771
worked out so well for the natives, huh?

No. 189970

im a miserable failure and there really is no way forward. i just never get around to doing anything at all and nothing ever changes that, at least not for a long time. every time i think im about to get out i suddenly realise i've been accomplishing jack shit for all the time that i haven't been depressed, i've just been living in my head the whole time and placating my mind with stupid fantasies that will never happen. i've been talking to people on a chat website lately and i think it's made me feel even more lonely and worthless than usual. every time they ask me about my hobbies i feel like i have to lie because my only hobbies are browsing the internet and masturbating. i tell them i play guitar and drums as i know how to do both but i rarely actually sit down and play them. i also tell them that i lift weights because i started that i little while back but i've already started skipping sessions and i made no progress. talking with them just makes me realise how utterly worthless to another person i would be, there is literally nothing i could offer anyone and if i actually showed them who i really was they would be disgusted as opposed to just bored. i still fucking long for whatever any of that feels like though, even though it'd be such a bad idea. i think im mentally ill in ways i wouldnt even want to tell someone anonymous about, i saw a psychologist a while back as i almost killed myself last year but i didn't tell her shit, she eventually told me to stop going. not going to a psychologist actually helped me i think and i stopped fantasising about killing myself so much and my mood improved, but i was just as hopeless before, the only difference was that i didn't notice it as much. thats kinda how my life works, delude myself for a while then eventually realise im worthless and go back into depression only to come back out deluded and hopeful again. i tell myself i shouldn't lose hope or get into bad mindsets sometimes but thats fucking stupid because i dont do anything even when im feeling good, there is no fucking hope in the future at all except for me to become some worthless lonely middle aged person who drinks themself to death.

No. 189971

>>189970
fuck i feel more pathetic for posting this fuck this

No. 189972

>>189951
>i'm kinda uncomfortable discussing fan stuff 1 on 1 myself cause i always feel like someone will end up recommending me some "underaged dyed hair genderqueer twink struggles with dysphoria and autism" type work at some point and if i say i'm not interested i'll be a shitlord.

Same for me. I only talk about fandom stuff with some of my rl friends now. It's not just online though, I only started being more self-conscious about it after I went to a yaoi and yuri con once, it was filled with genderspecial girls and obese lesbians who wanted to talk about representation and Steven Universe. I actually thought I could meet fujoshi who aren't hormonal teenagers and maybe even cute girls and make some new friends. Never again.

Also it's funny how these people complain so much about LGBT+ representation and fetishization, yet they only seem to actually care about cute uke boys and hardcore gay porn. It's the same with racism and sexism, fandomq are just not my thing anymore I guess. It's ridiculous how pissed off it makes me, I'm embarrassed

No. 189973

I'm spiraling down. Schoolwork is harder, I feel like I can't think, my head hurts all the time. I was doing good all year, now I can't even remember basic snippets of code.
I'm really addicted to ambien now, if I stop I will have a month straight of insomnia and shitty nights.
I've been making a bunch of half hearted attempts at killing myself.
It's all going down, I feel like shit and I've no idea how to make it stop.

No. 189980

I don't know where to post this but

>have ESL friend

>he points to his stomach
>"my colons hurt"
>lol fucking what try again buddy
>"oh no I mean… my… intesticles!"

Such pure and innocent fuckery of the English language.


In theme with this thread, I had a bad breakup and have been drinking and eating like a pig everyday. I've been underweight my whole life and have restricted calories and exercised like crazy if I ever noticed myself gaining weight. My boobs are getting bigger, my stomach is pudgy, my ass is filled out instead of being a deflated bag of skin from sitting on my ass day after day. Objectively I guess I look normal skinny rather than my usual concerning skellington physique but I hate it. My boobs hardly fit the smallest bras available before and now I just constantly feel them on my chest. I'm being a pussy but it's blowing my mind that there's girls that actually choose to have megatits. It's barely a heavier weight on my chest and it already hurts more when I run and I slouch over more than usual so that my boobs don't stick out when I'm not wearing a bra around housemates.

No. 189983

>wanted to buy stuff from Nyx
>research a lot on the colors and products
>make a "final" list
>proceed to checkout
>they don't ship to my country


Seriously???
Now I have to travel an hour by car just to get to their damn store…ffs

No. 189997

File: 1494428072403.png (805.78 KB, 744x760, seriously.png)

>try to buy makeup from site but they're out of stock
>email to ask when they'll have more
>'oh we have some at the warehouse, you can place an email order'
>i email back to ask if there's a minimum spend
>she reponds and tells me to phone
>i phone and explain again
>she asks for my email so she can send me details
>email is worded really badly and at some point i have to phone again no matter what and i fucking hate talking on the phone
>me.jpg

This is the problem with relying on a specific brand/item that either has to be imported or bought directly from the manufacturer.

No. 190000

>>189980
I feel u anon, I am considering faking being trans just to get my tits removed. They're so in the way, all the time, and constantly uncomfortable. I feel like i'll never have good posture due to them either. They're not even huge. And I've been a skellington so I know that won't work, they were still there but now they LOOKED terrible as well.
And I really like the flat-chest skinny-pear-shape too and I know i could pull it off.
>tits pls go

No. 190008

>>189972
>this fuckery at a yaoi con

wow dude, what a shame. i thought the fakebois wouldn't really make the effort to show up, but if they do then you're basically getting the fandom tag experience irl and paying for it. i thought a real yaoi con would be paradise lol, guess not.

>I could meet fujoshi who aren't hormonal teenagers and maybe even cute girls and make some new friends.


internet-wise, i think you might have luck with this if you find a relatively mature or obscure fandom. pretentious as it is, some literary fandoms are a bit better. also bara seems to have less genderspergs

>>189980
>"my colons hurt"

lmao that's a gem.

No. 190009

File: 1494437745213.jpg (28.7 KB, 300x300, rsbwono.jpg)

>>189972
Man, the old online fan community was cringy but it was 1000 times better than this whole "you are fetishizing me wah wah wah stop reading mangas it triggers me from the other side of the continent"
Recently, a youtube user i follow who likes BL went to a BL cafe and posted pics on instagram about it and 99% of the comments were butthurt people calling her a fetishist and a disgusting straight invading gay communities and inciting violence against LGBT+ people (for going to a cafe, topkek).

I just want to be able to make cute fujo/fandom friends, but in the state is it now you cannot speak online about liking yaoi or any other "problematic" stuff because it triggers someone's 0.000002 T dosage of fakeboi starself moonsexual ass. You have to tiptoe around to see if they will be cool or offended.
It's hilarious how much they seem to care about representation, but only the representation that matters to them and in absolutely trivial and minimal stuff.

>try to talk to girl about liking a certain """controversial""" show

>girl gets very upset for some reason
>"how can you like that show it has a rape scene in it and they say racial slurs, it's disgusting that you support that"
>"it's just a show, who cares"
>"no, it affects real life people they are normalizing rape and obviously in favor of violenc…[298 pages redacted]
>mfw

I miss going into any community and starting a discussion on any fandom/show/manga that didn't turn into "problematic stuff" and political bullshit.

No. 190010

>>190009
Anon I totally know where you are coming from. Being into BL for as long has we have we have seen these people just come in and start preaching about how it's not okay to do it. It's so retarded but rest assured BL has been around for such a long time it will outlast the people trying to stop it.

No. 190011

>>190009
What's the show, anon? I'm asking for a friend.

No. 190013

File: 1494438582519.jpg (78.87 KB, 500x651, 6c9c50b65d83e25581627567085265…)

>February
>bf: haha sure I'll make an appointment with the tattoo artist for October so you can get a new tattoo for your bday (:
>May
>bf: I don't want to call, idk how we will work that day haha sucks but you should call yourself


Really dude? He knows how much I've been looking forward to this…and now he's making up crap like this. As if we can't take a day off. It was also supposed to be a late birthday gift, considering my birthday is in July. I'd call the artist myself but I don't even know where the place is considering he moved his shop and I can't go there by my own - it's located in a different city that I'm not familiar with and I just don't want to think about it anymore. It just feels like slap in the fucking face.

Pic not really related.

No. 190014

>>189784
I feel you. I'll say what everyone tells me whenever I complain about it: the right one will come, one day or another. Don't lose hope.

No. 190015

My face looks fat even though I'm underweight, I'm too much of a pussy for V line surgery and I wish they would invent some surgery to fix cankles.

No. 190017

There was a big fundraising event here last week for a charity that helps people who are suicidal or who self-harm. It had a huge turnout and loads of people are posting about attending on Facebook and other social media. A girl who bullied me so badly I tried to kill myself and had to leave school early went to the event and posted about it to make herself look good/"raise awareness for this important cause". I'm salty.

No. 190019

>>190017
call her out on her bullshit in the status comments

No. 190020

>>190019
not that anon, but she'd likely just baww about how she's 'oh so sorry and totes changed now' and then anon would get a bunch of people on her case.

No. 190023

>>189980
>>190000
This is TMI and intrusive but how big are your boobs gals? Like I'm just about a 32B but I feel like mine are massive and look disproportionately big on my body (I'm 5'3 and 120lb) and I want them gone but I keep being told that they're already itty bitty titties so IDK what to do for the best really.

No. 190029

>>190017
Lmao I know, I've seen people who bullied me hard in high school posting on their facebook about how much they cried watching 13 Reasons Why. Or posting stuff against bullying in general. I've noticed that most bullies are veeery hypocritical about it and seriously believe they did nothing wrong.
I don't believe in people changing, some people just are naturally bullies and will be forever.

No. 190043

>>190029
not trying to argue or anything but they do say that a lot of bullies are people that are bullied themselves. doesn't make it right or okay though.

No. 190044

>>190023
Are you wearing the wrong bra size? Or have weird distribution of fat? I'm ~127 lbs 5'3" wearing 32G. Ugh.

No. 190047

>>190017
>>190029
I used to be kind of a bully. The kind that roasts you a little too long and gets a little too mean spirited about it, but it's still enough to get away with. I honestly had no idea how my "targets" actually felt. Since they would just kinda laugh it off as well, and it wasn't like we were actual friends so I never noticed if they slunk off on their own somewhere. I never realized how bad I made some people feel until I had a bout of self pity and posted on FB something like "I'm so sorry if I was ever mean to you ever" and got some genuine replies.

Idk what it's like for more serious cases of bullying, but it's likely that hypocritical bullies like you've described don't really realize the extent of their actions, esp if you never really confronted them and just kind of faded out of their lives. Not that that excuses them or anything, they probably legit just forgot they bullied you guys. OR they realized and "vowed" to "make things right" by doing this stuff but not having the balls to be straight with people.

>>190043
I was the lowest on the bully totem pole in my family life,
after that ended I def stopped taking out my aggression on other people. Some people just like being mean though.

Sage because not venting.

No. 190054

File: 1494464517035.jpeg (56.6 KB, 750x504, 14883894988210.jpeg)

Why are people playing Overwatch are so fucking retarded?

>hmm looks like we don't have any tanks and only one healer, oh right guess I'll pick the 3rd dps

>enemy has a pharah? oh let's roll with symmetra and junkrat
>enemy has a rein? let's not shoot the shield guys.
>oh is that a bastion, lemme just run towards him
>oh let's throw our ultimates at this d.va and deflecting genji
>healing what's that? I'm waiting for that 5 man rez
>what's a counter pick
>how do I into team comp?
>what's hero switching?

Dropped down to fucking silver today because of these fucking retards.

No. 190067

I've missed you so much today it really hurts. I know I have to move on for once and for all and that it's been a long time since things ended, but i haven't found anyone that comes close to how you were and what you made me feel. I know you treated me like total shit in the end so I hope this feeling doesn't last long, it's not worth it.

No. 190068

File: 1494471481901.png (260 KB, 563x542, 2a6.png)

>>190054
TBh you're probably a retard and half the problem, are you a mercy main by chance?
t. male in master(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 190070

>>190054
>losing in overmeme
lol

No. 190071

I'm in a long distance relationship that I really didn't mean to get into. He lives about 700 miles away and in the past 10 months we've been involved I've only seen him twice, for two weekends. I'm really physically needy and originally was only talking to him because I wanted to try hoeing around and was sending him nudes but I caught mad feelings. I'm in too deep and would probably move to his state if he even mentioned it lol but he's in school getting a degree and all I do is work I feel like a deadbeat in comparison to him. Constantly sexually frustrated and I've cried more in the past couple months than I have for years prior just because I miss this boy. I always have to lie about how I met him too, it sucks.

No. 190078


No. 190080

>>190071
Why don't you try moving there? I mean you're in the same country, it's hard but it's probably not as hard as you think. At least try seeing each other for longer stretches of time, is it possible for you to do a trial month together?

No. 190084

>>190071
>I always have to lie about how I met him too
how did you two meet?

No. 190086

File: 1494492420207.jpg (15.6 KB, 236x314, 4a7fdac8d199cae9f4f9aa83b22711…)

Just came from the Dollanganger's Calves thread - fuq the h8rz, this is the best version of Yolandi. Always thought she was mad to change her style so drastically from here, but it helped bring in the bucks I guess.

No. 190088

>>190054
because its been way over half a year since release so now all thats left over are the angry players with no lives and stupid high school kids. overwatch is the new league so expect a toxic userbase that gets worse as the years go by.

No. 190102

I wish I had nice parents that allowed me to live in the basement and eat chicken tendies. My parents are actual horrible people. I don't even live at home anymore. I wish I was put up for adoption but it's too late now. Always high key jealous of friends with nice families.

No. 190105

>>190080
Once his summer break starts I for sure want to try staying for at least a week. I need to save enough money to fix my car so I can drive there, that way I wouldn't be completely reliant on him for transportation haha
>>190084
I posted my Snapchat to /soc/ and he sent me his dick and the rest is history :( He isn't super 4chan though luckily.

No. 190106

>>190047
When you gang up on someone with your group of friends every day for years, and this someone is visibly distressed for it, you should take a clue. Anyway, it's still something from high school so nowadays I've changed and it doesn't affect me anymore, but it's still funny to see.
I have to say that most bullies of the type I met only act tough when in group. When you meet them alone they don't do/say anything or even just smile awkwardly. It's curious

No. 190115

>>190068

Zarya main, you're trying way too hard m8

>>190070

Guess you can win with 5 dps and no healers eh?

>>190088

I expected it to be bad but not this bad to be honest.

No. 190155

Me and my boyfriend just fucked, and he is sleeping now.
First i was riding him and everything was fine, but them i asked him to do missionary. When i layed down, he looked to the ceiling vacantly before proceeding the shag.
Then, he was pretty quiet, no kissing, didn't seem to be enjoying it anymore.
I came, he said he did (i didn't see it so i am not sure if he truly did), went to the bathroom super quickly to clean himself afterwards. I followed him a bit later, kissed his back, he was reactionless, when he's usually very lovable.
He was super cool before he went to sleep, i asked him why he was acting weird and he just said (minutes after) that he was not mad at me.

Whatever it was, made me super sad ans removed all the joy of the sex section.

No. 190157

>>190155
This made me feel sad too, anon. I hope he explains soon

No. 190158

>>190157

Aw, thanks, anon. I wasn't expecting anyone to reply, and even though i am not as sad as when i first posted it, this was very comforting. <3

No. 190168

>>190009
>>190010
I totally agree. Speaking about fandoms in general and not just fujoshi, the recent drama with that artist lohkay and the power tripping con volunteer feels like it's a great example of everything wrong with fandoms nowadays:
>lohkay's fucked up kinks and her being an asshole, even though she seems harmless
>someone calls her out on it
>turns out the second person is just as bad, if not worsr than the artist
>she starts a witch-hunt against the artist because she's working for a con she's never been too for the first time because of the artist's fucked up kinks and drawings but she's into Killing Stalking herself
>wants to waste the police's time and resources because of drawings instead of actual CP that harm and traumatise really children
Where are the normal fans?

No. 190169

>>190168
The normal fans are quiet and in the background, just enjoying the game/series/book/whatever
They don't feel like arguing over such trivial shit and risking getting doxxed

This is why I left the Walking Dead (game) fandom. The fans aren't that rabid but getting harassed because you say that x character probably isn't gay isn't worth it.

No. 190170

I've been taking codeine and I want to scratch myself so bad. There's no allergy, no redness or swelling just this awful itching sensation.
I always have weird over reactions to med, I just don't get it. It's not even being hypochondriac, I'm not worried about it. I wonder if it's all in my head.

No. 190172

>>190170
Itching is the most common side effect of opioids. That's perfectly normal. If it annoys you either change codeine or take some antihistamine with it, does the trick.

No. 190175

My mom is pretending she's ill and vomiting when she's actually not just because she doesn't feel like working today while we have to go do our jobs. When we point out she's bullshiting she pretends she cleans the house when again she's not, we have to clean it ourselves if we don't want bugs to eat us at this rate.

I can't believe she has the nerve to do this shit. Then she cries crocodile tears when we tell her to go fuck herself because she behaves like a piece of crap towards her daughters and seems to believe everyone but her is retarded. God I hate narcisists. What goes on their minds seems fucking abstract to me.

No. 190176

>>190169
>getting harassed because you say that x character probably isn't gay isn't worth it.

err i dunno, that seems to fit the definition of rabid fans to me.

No. 190192

>>190169
Oh man, the whole my headcanon is real is so absolutely annoying.
Every single time someoene of the same gender shows any kind of affection for someone of the other gender, has feelings or has a certain stereotypical look, these rabids jump at your throat aboyut them being a certain thing and anything else is you being a shitlord.
For people who think sterotypes are dangerous, they sure as hell like to apply them, like the recent mass effect andromeda controversy.

>female character with short mom hair who is a trained soldier and not overly girly

>is straight
>people literally sending deth threats to devs and calling them bigots for not making a woman with short hair a lesbian and how anti lgbt they are for using short hair on a straight woman

And the worst, is that normal/moderate fans don't come out as much because of rabid lunatics like these ones who attack anyone that doesn't follow their thoughs, so fandom culture seems like a bunch of shit full of hormonal speshul people instead of a community, which makes it really difficult to find anyone normal easily since people dont wanna risk getting attacked for not following the vocal minority opinion who has no problem hurting them.

No. 190195

File: 1494596460156.jpg (152.39 KB, 700x467, kill-me.jpg)

>>190192
whoops, sorry for samefag, but dropped pic

No. 190196

I'm under a lot pressure and constantly stressed out, and a few days ago I noticed I am losing a lot of hair over it.
Now that I am aware of my thinning/bald spots I am even more panicked and super paranoid. I frantically check my head every time I pass a mirror.

I feel like I aged 20 years, it's pissing me the fuck off, counting the days until I go full Britney Breakdown and just shave it all off.

No. 190198

>>189949
What sort of stuff was on the sideblog? Because if it's your version of a diary, he doesn't really have the right to tell you what is the right or wrong way to do it and should respect your prvivacy
But if it's a catalog of reblogs of self hate porn, thinspo and self harm images then that's something else entirely

>>189959
Cut off the opportunity for her to use you. Don't leave your keys or things in accessible places if you're not okay for her to use them. Next time just say you can't cover her rent, and stick to it. Whatever happens will happen to her and not you. Put your damn foot down, and then however she reacts to that will show if you need a new flatmate

No. 190199

>>190198
>blogging
>privacy
you can't be serious

No. 190201

>>190192
>>190195
Lmao yes they did the same thing with Cassandra from Dragon Age Inquisition. "She has short hair, she's kinda tomboyish, so she just can't be straight duh"

No. 190204

>>190195
I hate this. I hate this so fucking much.
I'm not even straight and this shit is just…so, rage inducing jesus

No. 190215

My college journalism class is ending and I feel like I learned absolutely nothing from it. I have a final report due for it in two hours and I'm just going to make up a bunch of bullshit for it. All of our tests were open book, the professor canceled class four times and never used our college's email or online system for posting grades or assignments, we only meet once a week so at this point we probably did half the assignments he originally said we were gong to have, there's no final and attendance takes up a quarter of the grade. I don't even know how to cite anything for my article, do I need to give him my notes? The emails of the people I invterviewed/talked to? I learned more with fucking google than I did in the last four months of classes!

No. 190220

File: 1494610625952.png (65.26 KB, 462x308, 1492431528184.png)

My best (and literally only) friend is a damaged girl who has been in love with this one guy for a few years now. He doesn't reciprocate except every once in a while they'll meetup and make out but nothing more. I tell her that shit isn't right because he has a girlfriend and she wouldn't like being cheated on, so they never go further. Now she's telling me they plan on fucking in the same sentence she tells me she let her drunk ex come over and fuck her last night. Now she's crying about how she feels used and how nobody loves her. I just can't deal with my friend's BPD and low self esteem. This shit is fucking ridiculous. Why complain about FEELING used? She IS being used. Goddamn I just want to slap her in the face and tell her to wake the fuck up.

No. 190229

I'm in my third year of college and I work as a barista (in addition to volunteering.) I work lots of nights and weekends. I'm always bummed out because I'm usually studying or working whenever my boyfriend goes out and has fun with our friends without me. It makes me really sad to miss out on so much. Tonight I have to work and I am missing his little sister's recital, and then after that a house show where all our friends will be. He has a normal 9-5 job so he never misses out on anything. I hate being left out so much.

No. 190232

>>190086
Nah, I think the iconic hairstyle and the bleached brows and lashes are what gives her that interesting look. With normal hair she's kind of plain.

No. 190235

My boyfriend recently made friends with this guy. He seemed cool at first, but the more I have to be around him, the more I'm starting to notice that he treats me like an absolute idiot. He's a pseudo intellectual type that dropped out of high school and works at Office Depot. He doesn't really talk to my boyfriend or any of his other guy friends the way he does me, so Idk if it's because I'm female or what, but his patronising attitude is really starting to get under my skin.

No. 190236

>>190195
What the fuck is "queer coded?"

No. 190252

File: 1494625440314.jpg (222.86 KB, 1280x1142, ccc7db13-ae66-4189-8ef4-014776…)

I'm afraid I might fail university. I'm just finishing up my first year and my grades are mostly okay (I've only failed one assignment) but knowing how much effort and work I put in it's a miracle. Next year there will be higher expectations and I don't think I'll be able to make myself work more with my current mental state. If I keep going like this I won't make it. I'm telling myself I'll go see a doctor when I get home but fuck if I know where to actually go. I just want to stay in bed forever.

There's also a guy I'm interested in, (I think I wrote about that in a previous vent thread) we went out a couple of times but I haven't spoken to him in more than two weeks. I don't know what to do about him, he doesn't seem very interested in me; but I also know that he has to get to know more about me to develop an interest. Every time I think about writing to him I talk myself out of it because nothing feels like it's worth saying.

Sage for blog

No. 190254

File: 1494625832980.gif (1.38 MB, 300x199, 1444241335985.gif)

>Live in a shithole town
>Look for a job in my area
>Experience required
>Experience required
>Experience required
Perfect then, I'm gonna be a stripper

No. 190259

>>190254
Omfg it's insane how much experience people want for an entry level job.

No. 190260

>>190009
>the old online fan community was cringy but it was 1000 times better

truth. tbh i miss the…sincerity? of the old fan communities. most of fan works were shit but you could tell people genuinely enjoyed making them, they weren't making stuff just for diversity points or shitting out fanworks for everything and anything to get their names out there. and a lot of the shipping wars just came across as good natured ribbing and shitposting between fans and friends. even the cringier posts were still positive, like happy sperging about small detail conspiracies. now the tone of everything is so so so fucking negative.

No. 190262

>>190254
same. i cant even walk anywhere because the town is so rural and everything is spread out.

and then all the simple jobs are taken so no one is hiring. fml

No. 190267

>>190259
Yeah, I couldn't believe my eyes. They were even seeking "experience" for a cleaning job. A cleaning job. No wonder my country is a sinking ship everyone is escaping from. There is literally no hope for young people.

>>190262
I was looking for an au pair job. You can do it too, you spend time abroad living and eating for free in a local family home, you just have to do light housekeeping and look after their kids for 5-6 hours a day, they also give you an allowance, and meanwhile you can look for a job while there. A good opportunity to leave for good.

No. 190279

>coworker is rude af
>snatches shit out of my hands
>shoves past me
>demands I do stuff without a please or thankyou
>kicks off and lowkey threatens me
>sits around and complains about my work
>takes credit for all the work she complained about
>tell her that she should be more polite
>tell her that physically shoving me around is unacceptable and that she won't be doing it again
>tell her that I hate working with her because she treats me like shit
>bitch cries
>tells the managers that I'm mean and that she doesn't think I'm a team player

The managers dgaf as long as somebody does the work so they just kind of shrugged the whole thing off. I'm not in trouble but I'm still pissed about it. How does a bitch run around being rude and aggressive and then act like they're a victim?

No. 190308

Why are men so fucking dense? How many times do I have to say "no I'm not interested" before they get the god damn hint?

No. 190310

File: 1494644879159.jpg (11.45 KB, 200x200, EdnaDisgust.jpg)

some background:

>work at restaurant

>boss thinks i have no social life despite being 21
>expects me to run the place from 11am to 10pm without a break



the venting:


>regular customer makes order for delivery (he lives about 5-10 minutes away depending on traffic)

>when i ask him for his card number, he says, "you have it already" and hangs up.
>driver makes a mistake and ends up driving two towns over, so i call the guy to inform him that his delivery is late
>he gets his delivery half an hour later
>calls me screaming and saying that there's no reason i should be working there, and how i always fuck up his order and how he wants his meal comped.
>says he's a regular so he should have been first priority.
>berates me for a solid minute and a half until i broke down in tears on the phone.
>i manage to force out, "sir i'm sorry about the wait, it won't be like that again"
>"that's not what i'm angry about!"
>?????
>says "you forgot the fucking spicy sauce, are you retarded?"
>mfw he never asked for spicy sauce.

No. 190311

File: 1494646000312.png (179.36 KB, 480x368, imageforums.php.png)

>>190308
Because they're darn stupid

No. 190315

>>190308
they know you're not interested if you've said it. they're just entitled and don't care about your feelings so they'll continue to be persistent assholes.

No. 190336

Jfc, I want to stop being so crazy. I want to be sane and stable and not so depressed and having melt downs every other day. I want to stop pushing people I love away from me just because I'm afraid. I want to stop being emotionally difficult, I want to react in a reasonable way to outside stimuli, I want to be able to be independent, I want to be seen as normal.

I get so angry when people romanticize mental illness, when it's made out to be some quirky little fun thing that makes a person more interesting and mysterious. Fuck that. I just want to be normal. I just want to know what peace and calm and quiet would be like. I want to have good relationships. I'm in therapy but it almost seem s to make me more unstable to be constantly picking apart my actions and how they relate back to my extensive childhood trauma every week. It makes me kind of want to quit. But I just want to get better, so I guess I'll keep going.

If you're struggling with overcoming mental illness, just know you're not alone in this. It's really hard and no one will ever really recognize how much work you put into it. I hope that it will all be worth it. I believe in you anons.

No. 190348

>>190336
Are you me? I'm sure I could have written this. I hope you're going to get better too.

No. 190349

>>190336
Much love to you anon. I'm also on the same boat.

No. 190366

File: 1494691070377.jpg (52.81 KB, 600x500, 8ca.jpg)

>tfw brain fog 24/7

No. 190380

File: 1494704324419.jpg (14.96 KB, 236x347, images (2).jpg)

I feel so depressed. I've been off meds for a while and I did great for a few months, but uni is really stressing me out. I'm about to graduate but I have so much left to do and it feels like I'm running out of time. I also feel unhappy with my current situation with my control freak family and I wish I'd fix it, but it doesn't depend only on me. I would love to move somewhere else, maybe to another state so I could start over. I believe I'll be able to do that once I graduate but it will take, realistically speaking, 1-2 years. Minimum.

And my love life is pretty much dead. It's been dead for a long time now. I've met 2 new people online a couple months ago. It was very casual, while I was doing something slightly work related. I crushed on one of these guys first and then on the other. First guy and me started talking non stop, I thought we had lots in common and crushed on him very briefly until realizing we wouldn't work out. Then basically the same is/was happening to guy number 2, and this one seems kinda popular with the ladies and maybe he's a player who will only destroy my heart because that's his hobby and what he does during his free time.

But I guess I'm just lying to myself because I want to like someone, you know? Not that these two guys aren't great people in their own way because they seem like it, but I've been so sad and so lonely. And touch starved… I guess I just want to feel loved and give someone my love too :'( I feel like no one wants to be with me, as a friend or a significant other, because I am ugly, disgusting, shy and hurting inside, despite being a relatively good person who actually has good qualities.

I don't think I just need to go back to my meds: I need to heal from inside, and that seems impossible now because I have no willpower to TRY to get better. I really just want to die. I have no will to live. A few months ago I started dieting and I lose a nice amount of weight, but I seem suck at the same number now because I've been binge eating a lot to overcompensate for my feelings. I really wish I'd just drop dead. Even suicide seems too complicated at this point. I tried to kill myself several times when I was younger, but now I'm just waiting here for death instead of actively seeking it. Of course I'll die old as fuck feeling miserable and alone.

I have some other very specific problems, but those will do. I'm just tired of all of this and wish I'd die tomorrow.

I know this is very long, I apologize if anyone took time.

No. 190382

>>190366

same. I can barely remember anything. I just feel like I'm drifting from day to day doing absolutely nothing.

Like I'm just on autopilot not really taking anything in.

No. 190391

>>190380
The thing about meds is that they sort out your chemistry and keep it functional while you do the therapy and healing. The meds are there to help the healing process because untreated depression eats away at your ability to do anything to help yourself.
You need the meds to heal if you're not getting better without them. Meds are what often make the therapy possible. It's not bad to use that, and people who claim that meds change you are fucking stupid. Yeah they change you, change you from a couch zombie who's too tired to kill themselves into a person who can function and live and feel again.

No. 190392

>>190382

Yep, can't focus on anything, always tired. I fucking hate this shit.

No. 190404

This month is 6 years since I graduated high school. I think all the time how I could have a BS right now, but instead, I've basically pissed away 6 years instead. I could never figure out what course of study I should go for, what I like, what I'm good at. I feel like I'm not good for anything. My boyfriend has been supporting me this entire time and I honestly feel bad about it. I had our child 2 years ago, so being a mom gives me something in life, but I still feel nearly worthless. I wish I could've figured out a good career path for myself a long time ago…

No. 190409

File: 1494723776208.jpg (18.12 KB, 540x304, IMG1102656592.jpg)

I broke up with my s/o of three years a few days ago. It got to the point that they were upset I had fallen asleep on them after a 12 hour shift at work and they berated me for it, saying I wasn't sacrificing enough for them when I had cut out my family and friends for her so we could spend as much time as possible together. I still love her but I hate how she never supported me and made me feel insignificant, but I am afraid she may be the only person who could genuinely love me.

I don't know what to do and I am afraid I will take her back and she will try and manage my life again.

No. 190410

>>190409
>I am afraid she may be the only person who could genuinely love me.
you are worth so much more than that, than her. dont just take her back, because she might be the only one. she wont be.

No. 190411

>>188253
start a youtube channel or twitch about video gaming. kek

No. 190414

My bf broke up with me because he didn't like how stubborn I was and how I didn't listen to him, but he was too scared to tell me. I begged him to give me a chance to change, and he did.

But now I'm not sure if I want him back. Like why would I want to date a little bitch who would would rather run away than face a problem head on? What kind of whimp is scared of a small girl? Like why am I so attached to someone like that?

No. 190415

I have a report to write in Japanese and I'm FUCKED. I'm writing it in english first and it already makes no sense because I didn't understand half of the reading. I wanted to finish it yesterday night but I had a small argument with my bf and I ended up crying for one hour and not being able to do it anymore.
I swear I'll do it early next time. This time I mean it.

No. 190417

>>190410

thank you for saying this. tearing up outside work bcuz I really needed to hear this

No. 190430

>>189693
>>189707
Thank you based anons. I posted about a week ago and took both of your advice, started up a food journal and wrote down what I ate and also what I craved. Showed it to my doctor and talked about the weight gain, I'm in the process now of tapering off of seroquel and on to a different antipsychotic that he says works about the same and is more weight neutral. Already I feel like I have less cravings, and I'm really motivated to hear about your housemate, that's awesome she was able to get fit and good to know it is possible! My goal right now is just get back down to my pre-meds weight but it feels a lot more attainable. Thanks again to both :)

No. 190452

This is dumb but…I feel like for so long the only thing that was making me really happy, aside from my boyfriend, was getting good grades all the time, and now that I've graduated and have my degree with I'm not sure what to do with myself. I don't really know what makes me happy anymore, it's like sitting in a room with a stranger and not knowing what to say.

I know it's stupid but I just put everything I enjoyed away and focused so hard on school and hammering out A's all the time. I'm looking at all my old hobbies and things I loved and it's like a caveman trying to put a square peg in a round hole, I just can't find enjoyment in them at a glance. I feel like trying to get back into them is like meeting up with a really old friend you lost contact with, you don't know if you should jump back into it like you never left or stick our your hand and make a really awkward introduction.

I woke up feeling dead inside and it sucked a lot because now that everything settled down I'm looking down at myself like "cmon do something" and nothing is coming to mind. Last night was the first time in a long time that I belly laughed and meant it and it was just using the /tts function on discord. I realized it after I went to bed that I don't know what to do with myself anymore and I can't even laugh at normal shit like cat videos or memes, I just am so dead and bored without school, but it was so stressful that I couldn't handle it anymore.

ugh, what is wrong with me

No. 190456

I finally graduated after months at the hospital, huge setbacks and everything. and I don't feel anything. My mum and friends are proud of me, but I don't feel anything. It's actually annoying how they are so proud of me.

No. 190457

My friend constantly judges me, calls me slutty and tells other people I'm easy. Meanwhile, I've only slept with one guy (my long-term bf) while she fucks guys she found on tinder. Idgaf who sleeps with whom and how often they do it but I hate that she's such a hypocrite.

No. 190459

>>190457
Why are you her friend? Stop taking it and tell her to stop projecting her insecurities onto you.

No. 190462

Even after more than six years since I last seen my friend, whom I confessed my feelings which were unfortunately unreciprocated, I still dream about him. I thought I forgot about him but every now and then there's a dream which brings back memories.

In my dream he needed a place to stay so I offered him my place. On our way, we bumped into a girl and he decided to leave with her. lol not even in my dreams can I actually be happy.

I woke up in such a depressed mood and realized I'll never be trully happy. I wish I could get rid of him entirely but I guess that's impossible.

No. 190463

I told my bf to call his mom for mom's day, to be nice. Now she came unexpectedly and took him to do dinner. She wanted me to come but I told the bf to invent something because I didn't want to have to sit through 2hours of them talking in Chinese while I nod awkwardly.
She's probably bad-mouthing me. Last month, she even gave his number and a Chinese childhood female friend of him messaged him to see if he wanted to have a drink and go to a religious event. It's pretty clear she hate my Caucasian ass and want him to marry a nice Chinese waifu.

No. 190464

>>190463
you not going the extra step and trying to be friendly with her isn't gonna make her friendly with you, the door swings both ways. if you're serious about it, maybe have him teach you some basic chinese so you can at least try to not sit there being a sour sad-sack?

No. 190466

>Match with a guy on Bumble
>Seems nice, so I give him my Snapchat info because Bumble's messenger is shit
>He's super pushy and forward the second I do, causing me to lose all interest in him
>Tell him I'm not feeling it and send him on his way
>That was in January, now it's May and he's back
>He's calling me affectionate names and begging me to date him
>I pull the old "I have a bf" excuse because "no" isn't a good enough answer for him
>He goes off the fucking rails, blaming me for his loneliness and saying he'll never love again because I broke his heart
>Lol blocked

Fuck I hate crazy people

No. 190467

>>190463
welcome to chinese families, fucking nuts

No. 190472

>>190463
Why the fuck are you even dating a Chinese guy in the first place?

No. 190474

>>190464
I did the extra fucking step. Like sit while they refuse to talk my language (and they can pretty well). And learning later from my bf they were talking about me.
I wouldn't even be against learning some Chinese but my bf is uncomfortable with his origins and don't even like speaking Chinese if I'm here. He doesn't like his parents either ffs.

No. 190476

>>190474
Chinese men are beta as fuck, he will forever put his family first/let them slag you off/let them set him up with Chinese women behind your back, he will never stand up for you in fear of getting his family mad at him. that's your life now

No. 190478

>>190476
I don't think so. His parents have been awful to him, he doesn't really care. Plus, they dumped him in boarding school from a young age, he's pretty much a westerner and spit on the traditional bullshit.

No. 190481

>>190478
they've been awful to him, they're being awful to you, but he's putting up with it

No. 190484

>>190481
Not really. I think you're projecting a little, anon.

No. 190493

File: 1494796083314.png (23 KB, 540x397, tumblr_inline_opc0mwcKwJ1thgou…)

Me and an ex-friend broke off our friendship sometime last year because of a stupid reason. I want to find and reconcile with her but it’s impossible because she was that kind of person that always deleted her social media accounts out of paranoia/anxiety.

I was able to find one account of hers but the only reason it’s still up is because she probably forgot the site exists. I remember her first name, birthday, and which state she lives in but not her last name, but I think I'd be able to recognize it if I saw it.

I just want to talk to her.

No. 190497

my friends are starting to type and act like fucking 40 year olds
its so annoying
i dont care about your stupid journals
fuck you
i still love them but i get irrationally annoyed at them all the damn time

No. 190501

>>190158
did he explain himself?

No. 190511

im into ageplay shit and have been for almost 7 years now. like even before Tumblr, but Tumblr made it way worse because suddenly it was really easy to find tons of other people into it as well

But I asctuslly really hate it. I'm ashamed of it and when I think about keeping it a secret for the rest of my life I feel disgusted with myself. I desperately want to bring it up in therapy to hope that maybe I can get over it but even then I'm too ashamed to say it out loud to a therapist. I wish I could just not like it and erase that part of my brain forever. I do what I feel like I can.,. I avoid looking at it online, I don't indulge myself or talk to other people about it. But the hardest is at night falling asleep I think about being a little kid and suck my thumb or hold stuffed animals and when I am upset or stressed it's the first thing I want to do. I ask myself will you do this when you're 30? 50? Will you never get married because you wouldn't be able to hide it from a husband? Will you never have kids because you pretend to be one? I wonder if I'm crazy, I don't know why I'm like this. I hate it so much.

No. 190512

>>190474
>they refuse to talk in my language
i mean you refuse to try talking in theirs
>they were talking about me
how dare they. you sound like a paranoid cunt tbh

No. 190515

I'm incredibly out of shape and embarrassed not myself on a hike today because I was wasnt able to go on without stopping a bunch of times. I'm so stupid. We took a picture together at the summit and I looked at it a few minutes ago and oh my fucking god guys. I look like an autistic, fat, disabled child. I have a fat face and my smile is ridiculous and my lips are thin and I have huge nasolabial folds and my hair is so ugly and I'm so fucking fat. I'm in the "normal" range for bmi but I'm so disgusted by myself. I feel even more motivated to lose weight but I'm just so disgusted by every part of my body I don't know if losing weight and growing out my hair and having a better wardrobe can even help me.

I also have an assignment to finish for my class and I still haven't done it because I'm a lazy piece of shit.

I hate myself so fucking much.

No. 190516

>>190515
I know how you feel. Trust me, losing weight and changing your wardrobe does help. It just takes a while, don't look for a quick fix, even though it's easy when you hate everything about yourself. Start counting calories and if you can, exercise s bit. There's tons on videos. Take care of yourself, your skin, hair etc and try to dress as good as you can. You can make it. Jul
You just have to start.

>>190512
Why are you so salty? No one can just try to speak Chinese, OP even stated that she asked her boyfriend to learn it and that he told her that they spoke about her.

No. 190521

>>190466
It seems like ever girl has their own version of this story, it's freaky how common place it is

No. 190542

>>190472
This. I don't know if this is one person or if there's multiple farmers dating Chinese men for some reason, but I keep seeing posts bitching about how it's not working out, their fighting, and cultural differences. These men are obviously no good at all when it comes to communicating and come from a pretty fucked up country. I can't imagine dealing with that bullshit.

No. 190545

So my boyfriend has moved cities and we are currently long distance (totally separate countries). It's only been a week and the distance is eating me alive. I'm not upset or insecure he's having more fun in the new city, honestly I don't care because I just want him to be happy and fulfilled, but it's just the distance. Last night I took a sleeping pill, just like the night before, because I'm miserable. I even deleted the texting app we used last night and haven't reinstalled it because I can't bear to read our past messages. I know that if this goes on longer we'll probably break up. What's sad is that I think he might've subconsciously used me to get over his ex, who cheated and made him feel like garbage. I made him feel cherished and cared for and loved and those were probably the good feels he needed to finally get over her. He keeps saying "I love you" and everything but idk man. It just really hurts. And with me going away to university this fall, it feels like we're going to fall apart. I don't think it'll happen because of me, though, unfortunately. In a way, I'm regretting even dating him or meeting him the way I did. I wish I had said no and gotten on with my life because I have a gut feeling of how this is gonna end.

No. 190555

>>190542
I've never even seen one. Sorry about the weird triggering happening if you dare venting about an Asian bf, I guess.

No. 190557

>>190545

>the distance is eating me alive

>I even deleted the texting app
>He keeps saying "I love you"
>I don't think the breakup will happen because of me

Yeah, he doesn't seem to have a problem, you do. Just break up with him, this won't work for you. Go on with your life instead of worrying about that, especially because you seem quite young.

No. 190562

>>190555
are you 12

No. 190563

Men are so fucking rude and thirsty. We got a new coworker, and three of us took him out to a brewery in town to do a little meet and greet. The ungrateful prick spent the entire evening directing everything he said to the skinny, attractive girl and talking over me and the other guy to ask her things. It fucking sucked, especially for her because she has NO interest in his basic 3/10 ass.

This has happened so many times before and I should know I should stop trying to be nice or friendly to men, but shit, it would be nice if they could not be pricks and we could actually go out as a group and have a nice time. But nah, that's to much to ask for anyone with a penis!

No. 190564

>>190562
What's wrong with you? Anon was just venting. This is some unnecessary salt

No. 190565

>>190562
Well, I'm not the one getting this butthurt about a venting story.

No. 190569

>>190565
Did you just try to imply that I'm salty about Chinese bf anon's story and that I'm >>190562 this anon? Wow that is some major reaching. Are you the person who posted the story?

I literally just shared the posts I've been seeing on here and wondering what the hell is up with them like >>190472

Maybe you're the one who should relax.

No. 190570

>>190565
lmaooo way to project and get so defensive while outing yourself you dumb bitch. because everyone who disagrees w u is the same person right? go back to pull if you want a hugbox instead of getting angry at everyone who calls u out on ur awkward behaviour. its no wonder his mum was talking shit. anon was right u sound like an insecure paranoid cunt

No. 190573

>>190570
I'm guessing you're having a bad day. Hope you're going to be OK.

No. 190575

I feel so dead inside. It's like I don't even exist. And I keep doing this thing where I see someone I really admire for something like their looks, skills, whatever and become obsessed with that.

I just envy people who don't constantly question everything and stay comitted to things. Even if it's just a fashion style or sth. I don't care about anything so I emulate what other people care about. Right now I can barely leave the house and kind of want to stay in bed all day. I just want to be passionate about something and stick with it but I can't, I just keep losing all interest.

No. 190580

I've been rejected or ignored for every internship and retail job I've applied to (several dozen applications sent the past few months. have high GPA, good resume, tried personalized cover letters, past retail experience, blah blah blah). Shit sucks and is really demoralizing.

No. 190581

>>190472
>>190542
I'm white and only date Chinese guys kek It's odd to hear anons having so many issues with them (basically opposite of my experiences). Even though the families take a while to warm up and can be pretty wild, they are like anyone else in the end. Except smarter.

No. 190586

>>190516
not salty, just like, this is a problem she can solve herself with a bit of effort but instead decides that her bf's family should bend to her restrictions while she does nothing to humor theirs. the 'omg his mom hates me' thing - like, yeah, you're not making yourself a likable person in her eyes. find a way to bridge the gap or break up with him imo

funny to see the goddamn shitstorm i triggered by basically saying 'you're miserable because you choose to be'

No. 190587

>>190581
Don't say that, anon, you're going to trigger again the weird Chinese bf hate going on here.

No. 190588

>>190586
'a little effort'? Learning a whole language, for the few times I see them a year, when they've been living here 25y+ and can talk my language almost without issue? Yeah ok, anon. You're just plain delusional.

No. 190595

>>190570
You must be 18+ to post here.
That's some Kiki tier sperg. Woah

No. 190602

File: 1494891724614.png (458.97 KB, 600x335, B75UMB_IYAEQbT2.png)

Was gonna post this in the career thread but its slowly dying and I do need to vent so I guess it fits here…

I really don't know what I'm doing with my life. I'm studying art and design (level 3) right now, my career plan was always going to college, then to uni to do an art foundation and then get a BA in cartooning, become a freelance illustrator/graphic novelist. I changed my mind about the BA earlier this year, the literally 3 uni's that do it here (UK) are shit, the good ones are overseas and I don't have the funds/mental state to deal with living so far from home. I did bank on getting in overseas at first but I had to suck it up and realize it's not got gonna happen. So then I figured I would do the foundation and specialize in illustration, then try and get hired by a company or do freelance work. Now the first year of my course is ending and I'm so behind, I hate this course and I feel so stuck, and I want to drop out desperately, but that could prove disastrous.

Everything about it is awful and coming in every day is excruciatingly draining. Its underfunded, none of the students actually care about art (They are all idiots who want to become architects bc they think its easy money and freaked out when they were told that it takes much more than just a level 3 course and retaking maths) and the ones that do just spend all their energy on their work and have no social lives because of it. The latter group dislikes me for reasons that are too long and pointless to go into, maybe another time kek. Our tutor just started this year alongside us so she doesn't really know the ins and outs of the course. Despite trying my best to interact with everyone, I've only made two friends, who are both leaving because they also hate their courses (One girl who is on fashion, wants to change to photography and one girl from my class who technically was kicked off the course but is still in the college) so when I go back (if I do choose to stay) I will be utterly alone, as opposed to right now where I am I alone in most classes but have a few classes with fashion girl, and can hang out with the other girl during breaks or after class. Me and her get on really well, and we spend loads of time together on our days off, but she's awful at making plans and responding to texts, so if we aren't together during the day when we see each other around the building, we will most likely fall out of contact which I literally die if that happened, she's all I have for a social life, it's pathetic. Most days I have to take breaks because I get panic attacks thinking about all of this, being alone, having no life out of college, etc. It really does all go back to my fear of dying alone which will likely happen, but I'll get to that later. Everyone in class is civil but we pretty much all just come in for class and then leave. It doesn't feel like a real group because there's no structure. If I left I wouldn't have anyone to miss, apart from the two who are leaving anyway. So Im pretty adamant on leaving, Im going to weigh out my options, they are all things part of me wants to do, but my mind is always changing and time is running out

Stay on course;

Pros
>Get qualification that lets me move onto pretty much whatever next educational step I want
>Can reach original career plan of foundation illustration
>Will take me to uni where I can meet like-minded peers

Cons
>Its depressing as shit
>Spend all my time alone, stuck with the same group of peers who dislike me
>If I want to change my mind, it's too late to take up another course as I'll be 19+
>If I do end up becoming an illustrator (the path I will go down in this course) I will aim for a UAL campus, and I will end up having pay for it as foundations are only free for 18 and under
>The course is made for people who want to go onto higher education, so its focused on getting a qualification rather then learning skills, I feel like my year has been wasted
>I will get pushed into going to uni, possibly wasting more time and money

Leave course;

Pros
>Be out of an environment that depresses me
>Still get smaller qualification for the first year
>Can re-join course later to finish the second year if things don't work out
>Can basically do whatever I want (course wise) as I long as I apply now
>Can do second year at an another college, meeting new people and tutors

Cons
>Need to find something and apply ASAP if I want to switch careers
>Harder to get into UAL uni if I want to do that

Now for the other career paths I'm looking at if I leave

Tattoo apprenticeship;

Pros
>Love tattoos
>Get to work in a stimulating environment
>Will work with like-minded peers and clients
>Dont mind being shop bitch for a year or so, seems like it could interesting
>My style of illustration can translate to tattoos well
>Overall seems like a fun career

Cons
>Appretiships are extremely difficult to find, and you have to work your way up to them and build a portfolio so that's 6 months-1 year gone already
>Will spend 1-3 years without being actually taught how to tattoo
>I don't think it's something I could do forever, perhaps 5 years max before I start to get bored of it
>Its a very serious career that is easy to get stuck in, as it requires no qualifications

Theatre/SFX makeup;

Pros
>It was the only other option I considered when first applying for colleges
>Stimuling environment, like-minded peers etc.
>I can try to weave illustration into it
>I love makeup and hair
>Im starting to enjoy 3D arts more and more

Cons
>Again, IDK if it's something I see myself doing forever
>The 'traditional' way to do it requires level 2 first, then level 3 which another 2 years down the drain if I dislike it
>Otherwise I can enroll in a year-long program that is paid for, requires no experience however it is 19+ so that's another year before I can apply

I wish I could take the year out and focus on myself, do some short courses, get a better job etc. (basically an early gap year) and then apply for the paid SFX course, but since I already took a year out before college for health reasons it feels like just wasting time. I think that course I really what I want to go for, whilst I wait to turn 19 for it I might do level 2 beauty just so I have some experience. Illustration will always be in my heart but its best suited to be more of a side hustle/hobby, it's too isolated of a career and it's becoming clear I need human interaction 24/7 or I get depressed and have a mental breakdown about being alone and dying alone (Ive never been in a relestionship, but this is for another time lmao)

That's a load of my shoulders, I feel like I forgot a few things but oh well

No. 190603

File: 1494892354318.gif (533.98 KB, 500x573, tumblr_n69mmzosLw1ss5vpqo1_500…)

I found out last night I contracted genital herpes from my boyfriend. I recall him mentioning once during our relationship that he was prone to cold sores, and he had revealed that he had one under his lip last week.

I didn't know he had an active cold sore at the time we had sex, and that through oral sex it can be transmitted to genitals. I'm frustrated at him for not knowing this, I'm frustrated at him for not telling me he had an active cold sore but then again he was not aware it could spread that way and it's unfair to strictly blame him.

I told him over the phone today and he felt awful and apologized, and he was supportive of what happened, but I still feel so distraught. I love him, but we've only been dating for about 7 months and at my age (23) I know the possibility of moving on from this relationship.

I can't imagine being intimate with a partner in the future knowing I will have recurring herpes outbreaks. I know it's not necessarily a romantic death sentence but I feel like a sexual leper. I'm so repulsed by the idea of sex at the moment I want to become a celibate monk.

No. 190604

>>190603
Damn, anon… that really fucking sucks. There are medications that make it less likely for partners to contract it from you in the future afaik, my friend's girlfriend has it as well.

No. 190606

When I was a child I'd ask my mother for help with homework and I'd shut down and start crying out of frustration in the process. Her response was to yell abuse and slap me across the face. It happened almost every time I'd ask for help until I stopped going to her for it. Years later I was tested and diagnosed with a learning disability. She still tries to make it seem like it was my fault and that it was well-deserved.

No. 190619

>>190603
it's just cold sores, at least it's not aids or anything

No. 190621

I only visit lolcow anymore because I like /ot/ and I like these vent threads. I've quit visiting /snow/.

These threads helped me get over a long-standing grudge I was having with someone.

No. 190622

I am madly insecure about my body and I have never had sex before because of it, I want to lose weight, get a breast lift, fat transfers, and laser scar removals, but I am 18 and just starting out in life and haven't even found a good enough job to move out my dorm yet

I know some may have their opinions on plastic surgery, and I know I'll get the whole "oh you're still gonna hate yourself after it" bull, I have bad marks all over my thighs, all my fat goes to my arms and stomach and my tits are A or B and massively saggy with puffy nipples and my butt is so square with craters on the side
I just want to look decent or feminine, it looks fine in clothes then when the clothes comes off it is nauseating, I want to be able to wear tight clothes, go braless, go swimming without embarrassing myself and I want to be able to take all my clothes off in front of my significant other and have them be attracted to me and I want to be confident, any tips on how I can work this out or alternatives to plastic surgery? (my knees are broke atm so I cant do squats but I been doing squats since 2015 and with work, school and everything its hard keeping on schedule)

No. 190623

my bf is from straya and i'm american, so it's hard for us to sync up and talk, but we usually get on early in our respective time zones to talk before the other person has to go to work or school.

tonight i've been really struggling with my depression, which he knows, but he isn't taking to me at all. and i know he's not that busy at work because i see him conversing with other people in our mutual discord channels. it just feels shitty he hasn't reached out to me when i told him i was feeling bad…if he was busy i'd understand, but i know he's not.

then again, i just feel like a burden and it's best not to dump on him anyway. the feeling will pass i guess. maybe i'm just overreacting. idk. but i'm genuinely upset.

No. 190625

>>190622
Try visiting a dating site first before you rip yourself up with cosmetic surgery.

No. 190627

i was diagnosed with major depressive order back in january. none of the meds that i've tried have worked so far. my grandfather died a few weeks ago and i haven't really gotten over it. i'm stuck at a job that i hate, but my bills and bad job market are keeping me tied down to it. my fiance lives 9 hours away and i haven't seen him since christmas. i'm usually fine with being alone but it's started to get worse and worse and i feel like i'm pushing him away even though i'm trying not to. i feel like i'm pushing everyone away. i just don't want to talk. i don't feel like i have anything worth while to say anymore.

No. 190641

>>190619
I'm glad to hear someone say this. I've built it up in my head as if I'm untouchable but you're right.

No. 190674

File: 1494941262254.png (188.97 KB, 500x281, tumblr_inline_onxdctxwCH1u71er…)

Ugh this is going to be a ridiculously simplified version despite the misleading length but…

>date guy for 3 years, long distance but we spent half the year together every year

>stoic but with heart of gold
>totally my type, kind and affectionate, smart, funny, rich and works from home(as do I), so lots of time to hang out and overall ideal
>gradually he became more cold to me
>had biiiig drama (turns out he was pushing me away on purpose for reasons too long to get into, but we've never had any major blowouts. sidenote: we are both mental and have lots of baggage)
>really damn hurt, end of the world, useless mess
>guy basically became a piece of emotionless shit, harsh words were said and lies were told instead, and it was fucking my brain up hard

>still have a few months left in the country, not quite ready to hop on back home

>I go to visit my best guy friend of ages who I've never met before
>said friend and I, when our friendship first started, had possible interest in each other but he wants kids and I do not
>been platonic ever since (and not in the naive one sided friendzoning way)
>me coming to visit was totally unexpected
>for over a month he took care of all my things, cooked for me (talented chef), never made a move not even a hug, let me be a useless shit while dealing with the breakup
>try as I might, relationship with exbf was down the shitter and a relationship can't be repaired by one person's efforts
>got drunk one night and made a move on my best friend
>really awkward for both of us since we were like brother and sister at that point
>gradually start acting like a couple but we agree nothing serious, I still judge girls with him on tinder, we keep it casual
>another month passes, I start noticing cute quirks of best friend and look forward to him coming home and our daily routine, hello emotions!
>and hello wall o text from exbf!
>my stoic exbf who has been a dick and has not been open to me about his feelings suddenly apologized for everything he could think of. quite heartfelt, appropriate, and retrospectively understandable
>heart is ripped in two
>the only winning move is not to play at all

How the fuck did I let myself fall into this trap. My exbf is complicated. I love him but he's always been one of those guys who I know others won't understand. He tries to be strong but I've always had a sneaking suspicion that he's hiding his emotions so it doesn't interfere with his work. His apology to me confirmed everything I could never get a clear answer about (affection is nice, but words are important too). He's a hard rock with a soft squishy core and very few people get to see that side of him. He's wonderful and we've had such great times together. It crushes me knowing that it's quite unlikely someone will ever get to be as close to him as I was.

My best friend is a god damn cookie cutter version of me. We're like pb&j. It's an effortless connection and it's made even better by the fact that we had so many years of just being friends. I think that's something not many men and women get to experience. But the damn kid thing. Kids are a big important thing to him because his mom and siblings have all passed and he wants a family again. His dad wants to be a grandpa. I absolutely won't budge on my stance about it. He's been conflicted about it but last night confirmed he can't change his mind for a few more years when he maybe feels there's no chance left at being a parent. Last night was pretty damn heartbreaking. We just sat and cried together knowing we're perfect for each other but there's nothing we can do about that issue and we need to stop it now. He said he doesn't regret anything, and I don't either, but what a roller coaster ride it's been to fall in love with my best friend. This pain is the price we have to pay for having too much fun without considering our goals I guess.

I don't know what to do… My visa is almost expired so this timing is weird and I wish I had another month or two. Things with best friend can't work out currently no matter how much we both wish it could. My exbf and I are on rocky waters but he's never needed a second chance before so I think he deserves it. Which means I should spend the last week of my trip with exbf to see if we can rekindle things or otherwise we're done and I'll be alone and just holding onto hope that my best friend never finds a good girl to procreate with. I feel like such a selfish bitch. It's an unreal feeling to be torn between two men that I both care for very much. For now I guess I'll just take it day by day. I don't want to hurt anyone and I don't want to leave either of them alone. I am not a decision maker. Picking a restaurant is like pulling teeth for me, nevermind this shit my god.

No. 190703

>>190623
Hi anon, are you me? Because like 2 weeks ago I was in that exact same position, same with the Aussie bf and discord servers.

I would be blunt about it, I was too busy being sad about everything and apologizing for my emotions that it didn't help.
Just try to first assess if you're overreacting and letting your depression tell you a bunch of bullshit or if he is going out of his way to ignore you.

If he is, pin him down and tell him how you feel and do not apologize for how you feel.
If you are overreacting then just step aside for a moment, don't look at discord and focus on your emotions. After you calm yourself down, join in on the conversations. Make yourself a part of them instead of feeling like the odd man out. It's hard and it feels awkward but just stick your neck out and try to spend more time with him even if it's with others.

No. 190705

>>190625
I've heard it all, I've tried it all, nothing worked, I still have a god awful body and I will never be happy with it until surgery, and its not much, just mild scar removal, fat transfers and a breast lift

No. 190714

>>190622
>>190703

>and I want to be able to take all my clothes off in front of my significant other and have them be attracted to me


That's easy, men are 'attracted' to liquid concrete given the chance. Occasionally they even fall in love with it.

>I want to be confident


That's hard. Find something to keep you going and get good at it.

No. 190720

>>190714
it kills me, I feel like if that ever happened theyd say inside their mind "she has nothing good about her"

I have an objectively shitty body, my boobs are near tubular breast syndrome, chubby stomach, sad man looking ass, ugly skin and acne everywhere and scars, not even my vagina is good its wrinkly, I want to at least look average, be able to wear a bikini and nice clothes, I'm tired of wearing thick trash bags to hide this sad excuse for a body

No. 190723

>>190714
my measurments are 39-42.5-36
I have an extremely wide chest and shoulders, they stick out the most, chubby arms, skinny thighs and legs, saggy sad tits with somehow big pale areola nipples and barely any boob,my skin is pink looking but pale and lots of thigh and butt acne, my butt is square, flat, with weird craters in the side you'd often see in men, its like a hip dip but more intense, with narrow hips as well, I'm not an average girl with a few flaws here and there and now I think I'm hideous because of it, I don't want to hear this "men will fuck anything" or "be confident people will love you" type shit, I want to hear actual advice, from girls like me who KNOW what it feels like to be objectively, ugly

No. 190727

>>190622
Hey anon. I don't know if you are really as bad as you think you are, but if so, I am a fellow ugmo and I'd be happy to give you some advice to make life a bit more bearable and help your body image.

Take advantage of this site. Seriously. Lolcow and /cgl/, though their beauty standard are pretty extreme, are a treasure trove of information. I would totally go through the makeover thread in /g/ on here. You probably want to check out the skincare threads too.

What race are you? What is your skin like? Do you have any remarkable features? If you have even one beautiful feauture, no matter how insignificant, please try to highlight that and downplay the things you are least confident about. For example, I am ugly in the face but I have very unique eyes. So I try to keep my makeup simple, but wear flattering eyeshadow that draw attention to my eye color.

Try to sort things out a category at a time. Hair, skin, body, nails, makeup, and clothes.

Hair that is healthy, in good condition, and a flattering color/cut for your face can be life saving. A bad haircut will make you feel worse about yourself. Find out your face shape and search the Internet for good styles that suit you. Do you want short hair? Long hair? Long hair will inherently make you seem more feminine. You can also search for flattering hair colors for your skin tone. Just make sure it is healthy and well styled.

Skincare is very important, not only for the condition of your skin now, but also as it appears when you are older. I recommend an oil cleanser, a regular cleanser, witch hazel toner (no alcohol!), and moisturizer to get you started. Wear sunscreen during the day, and exfoliate once a week. Check out the Korean skincare threads on here and Reddit for product recommendations, and examples of specialized routines catered to your skin type.

Your body is probably not as bad as you think it is. But I also struggle with bad body image. If you want to change, you need to make the decision to diet and exercise. We have some absolutely wonderful diet and exercise threads on here. Calculate your TDEE, and subtract 500 calories from it. Boom, you will lose weight. Do both cardio (running, swimming, biking) and strength training (weights, push ups, squats, lunges, etc.) 2 to three times a week to tone your body. I promise that if you truly dedicate yourself to this lifestyle change, you will be happier with your body. You may not look "perfect". You may not look like the girl of your dreams. But you will look so much better and be so much happier than you do now.

Take care of your fingernails. Take a women's vitamin and invest in a good nail file. You don't need to get a manicure every week, but try going once every month or two months. Giving yourself self-care and making yourself go out into the world will help you.

Flattering makeup is one of the best things you can do to help yourself appear more attractive. Insta ho makeup looks terrible on everyone. Try to do light, natural makeup suited for your face and eye type. Invest in a BB cream rather than a foundation. There are a million makeup tutorials out there, YouTube is the best place to learn. We have a makeup thread here too that can help you with more specialized tips. Just remember that less is sometimes more, and you want to focus on highlighting your good features more than hiding your bad ones.

Finally, you will feel more confident in clothes that flatter you and you personally like, than clothes that are unflattering but trendy. Not to say that you can't like what' she in right now; but some of the styles that are popular this month won't be by Christmas. Go through and konmari your entire wardrobe. If it doesnt spark joy, donate it. After that, assess what you have and don't have (lacking basics? Lacking shoes or sweaters?) and make a list of what would make your wardrobe more complete, and more you. Buy what makes you happy and confident. Just remember that not everything we love looks good on us.

I'm 22 and I'm still struggling, anon. I can't tell you how many times I've looked in the mirror and hated what I saw. How many times I've planned out all the variously plastic surgeries I want. But you are still young, and you can do so much to inspire confidence in yourself before you seriously consider surgery. If you put hard work into improving yourself, it will be more rewarding.

Don't forget that your personality, charm, and unique talents are important to you right overall attractiveness to other people as well. You can be the most beautiful girl in the world, but if you are cruel and stupid, you will be disliked. I know it seems hopeless now. But you have the power to change. You are beautiful and unique. I wish you well.

No. 190731

>>190674
Don't waste your time with your ex. Spend it with your best friend and cherish your time, especially when you don't know when you'll see him again.

No. 190734

>>190720
So what are you doing to improve it?

No. 190735

>>190727
I am native american and white, but I have naturally awful genes, its not so much my face, its my skin and body, I use witch hazel, tea tree oil, drink plenty of water, etc

I plan on corsetting more, massaging boobs, taking supplements like fenugreek for bigger boobs, maca for bigger butt, I take fairly good care of my hair and teeth with whitening and hair treatments for frizz

I have naturally, an unlucky figure although working out, taking care of skin, corsetting and other things can help, it can't help me a lot, especially with my breasts, which I am madly insecure about and when I did have intimate experiences I pleaded to keep my bra and shirt on
thank you anon

No. 190736

>>190734
when my knees heal I'll start squatting again, I plan on fat transfers, scar removal, etc in the future, like in the previous reply I made, I ordered maca and saw palmetto, fenugreek, and alternating my diet and rountines for better skin and body,

for things I cannot fix without surgery, mostly my boobs, I will do that

No. 190737

I'm disappointed right now even though I knew I shouldn't expect too much. I feel like crying and I'll probably do that as soon as I stop typing. Shit, why do I even let myself be hopeful… Part of the blame for this shitfest is mine. I already fucked myself again, the 2nd time in less than 2 months. I'm pathetic and I need to stop feeding any kind of hope and just accept that I should be alone and lonely forever.

No. 190739

>>190737
What happened, buddy?

No. 190740

>>190739
Tears incoming.
It's a long story, anon. I'm out right now so I don't have much time to type everything, but I will probably be back later. thank you for your concern. I mean it.

No. 190743

>>190736
Well then you've got a heck of a lot of improvements and changes to enjoy in the next year or so anon. Keep focussing on where you'll be and good luck.

No. 190744

>>190740
I'll check back in to hear about it. <3

No. 190745

>>190736
Also don't waste money on things that say they will increase the size of your boobs or butt. Squats and muscle gain is the only thing that will improve your ass short of surgery. Nothing but surgery or a really great bra will make your breasts look different. Don't waste money on snake oil and herbal bs, spend the money on skincare/bra/gym membership/stocking up the pantry with proper food/literally anything else.

No. 190747

>>190745
I didn't get some crazy gluteboost or whatever, just the cheapest capsles of maca, saw palmetto, and nursing tea, I might get some weight loss supplements, my estrogen is very low and if it rises it will help make me more feminine


I'll also work, the thing about these pills is that it boosts working, not that it magically happens

No. 190748

>>190747
No anon, they don't boost anything. Go to a doctor and discuss hormone pills with them lest you fuck yourself up irreparably. All supplements that aren't vitamins or feeding formulas are bullshit and rely on people's ignorance and desire for a quick fix.

Eat properly, exercise, and your body will be fine. The best you can expect from the supplements is a placebo and maybe some diarrhoea-induced water weight loss.

No. 190753

>>190735
So why did you ask for help if you supposedly already know what you're doing? Now I feel idiotic for typing up so much to try to help you. Btw, your snake oil products won't do anything for your butt or boobs. Only excersize will.

No. 190754

File: 1494993003973.gif (1.66 MB, 500x281, large[1].gif)

my fiancé just left for 2 weeks to visit his family on the other side of the world. i've been crying all night. this will be the first time in months i'll have gone a day without seeing him. it's a 12 hour time difference too and i work full time 9-5 so talkin will even be hard.

any suggestions of fun activities i can do alone to take my mind off it?

No. 190755

>>190745
you did help me, I just need advice, and I appreciate, and I you for doing so, but I type out plan so people can leave suggestions and improvements

No. 190758

>>190755
If your plan involves throwing money at obvious scams it's a terrible plan. If you aren't going to be serious about it, people aren't going to keep giving good advice to you. What's your workout like? What's your diet like?
Those things are gonna make the difference not some plant powders that smell like foreskins and get peddled by fat Facebook Mum's.

No. 190759

>>190758
nah I dont do all that gluteboost bootymax type things, just herbs or supplements that have been known to increase estro and help with skin, muscle growth, etc

No. 190760

>>190759
You seem to be struggling with the fact that your herbs are exactly the same as the booty junk you're bringing up. It's all a scam, and idk how else to possibly get that across to you.

No. 190761

>>190760
I can't afford a doctor and I dont have health insurance, super poor uni fag here, shitty waitressing job, how can I get my estro up

No. 190764

>>190761
You don't fuck with it without a doctor. More estrogen will cause you to make more testosterone to compensate. Hormones are incredibly tricky and require specialist medical supervision and monitoring. Sorry but that's all there is to it.

Anything that is sold on social media, hippies, and/or "health food" stores is more than likely a scam. If it's something that promises to cure disease, alter a particular body part, or is touted as a 'natural cure' it's absolute bullshit every time.
You need to educate yourself on how the body works and learn some critical assessment skills if you're buying powders and potions.
If you are diagnosed as hormone deficient your doctor would have prescribed you a course of treatment, was your deficiency self diagnosed or legitimate?

No. 190768

>>190761
Not to be rude and I haven't read all of the posts, but instead buying herbs and all that crap, save the money so you can go to a doctor?

Also, everything >>190764 said

No. 190773

I have to move back in with my mom.
My dad left her, I can't really blame him she's crazy. But she can't afford her rent without him. I can't pay my rent and help her out at the same time…
I'm so sad. I love my little place, my privacy, and the lack of an insane Mom breathing down my neck but I can't just abandon her. Fuck

No. 190784

>>190773
anon, your mom is an adult. you shouldn't have to care for her, especially if she is gunna fuck your mental wellbeing up by being insane and invading your privacy. if your dad couldn't hack it how are you going to? don't be a doormat, you'll end up feeling martyred and trapped.

No. 190788

>>190768
the herbs costed $5 for a bottle, the doc costs 200 a visit

No. 190792

I've been holding whole conversations on FB that I don't remember while high on a mix of ambien and codeine. I'm so ashamed, it's like reading the ramblings of a monkey who somehow got hold of a computer but I can't stop now. It's not like I can go through withdrawal while studying for finals. The people I've talked to must think I'm getting insane.

No. 190794

>>190788
The herbs are twenty bucks you may as well have wiped your ass with. Save that twenty bucks each time instead of buying ten bottles of bullshit scam diarrhoea powder and get your supposed hormone disorder treated. Why are you so fucking insistent on this maca rubbish? If you're gonna just waste money pass it my way yeah?

No. 190800

File: 1495026982122.jpg (19.44 KB, 488x302, images (2).jpg)

I get why people jump into conclusions sometimes because that's part of human nature, but FUCK. My ex was like that and that's one of the reasons why we had to end it. He'd jump into conclusions way too fast and wouldn't accept explanations because of how "intuitive" he was, so by his logic his crazy assumptions were always right.

I'm seeing this new guy now and yesterday we had an argument and kept assuming things about the way I felt concerning the topic we were arguing about. When I said "no, I don't I feel this way. This is what I feel: yadda yadda yadda". Then he said "no, you don't. I'm very perceptive and intuitive".

…Fuck off. First, you get super pissy over something pretty much unimportant,
then you try to guilt trip me (it worked, it made me feel awful!),
then assume things about me,
and when I tell you how I genuinely feel you say I'm lying because your shitty ~intuition~ says so?
Why do people act this way? Why?

I'm sure his ~intuition~ is telling him I'm mad because he said I'm not being myself today. Yeah, I'm not feeling that great around you anymore. Surprise. I'm disappointed and bitter now. I guess that under different circumstances I probably wouldn't have cared this much about this problem, but the fact he acted like a cunt/reminded me of the worst traits my ex had really ruined it. I was starting to develop feelings so I guess I'm lucky… But it feels bad, man.

No. 190816

>>190792
make a fake FB as some hot, big titted blonde woman and add a bunch of middle eastern and indian men. you can sperg with the convos and still have a laugh when you read it sober

No. 190818

>>190800
Stop seeing guys who insult your intelligence and independence by presuming they know what you think and how you feel. I mean doesn't it feel patronizing to you? "I know what you're actually thinking," sounds like a threat a parent would say to a child.

No. 190825

>>190754
use this time to have fun! being too dependent isn't healthy, you need to be your own person. how about taking yourself out to restaurants, going to art classes or reading something you've always wanted to? you could lounge around and play games naked, have a bath using lush bathbombs or have friends over! alternatively you could craft something as a present for bf when he gets back or practice baking/cooking a new meal. don't cry! it'll be fun, think of how nice it'll be to see each other again and how proud he'd be that you did fun stuff!

No. 190826

>>190800
Most people don't understand themselves well at all and there's a huge disconnect between the actual reasons they have for thinking/doing things and the reasons their rational mind comes up with. People are completely blinded by their own emotions, they're just too close to the issue to see things clearly. Most people constantly lie to themselves so you can't just trust them when they tell you about themselves. I'm not saying he's right but I can see why he would act this way if he has other information to go on and he actually is intelligent and perceptive. Once you start to see the patterns of delusion in other people you can't just accept the things they tell you at face value.

No. 190828

>>190826
found the robot

No. 190834

>>190818
You are right, anon. I'm just feeling shitty because he's the exact type of person I thought he wasn't. Sucks. It's still soon enough to cut ties without hurting feelings though.

>>190826
He didn't have any other information or anything. His assumption was complete BS, based on his emotions and he just came across as rude instead of perceptive and intuitive. Anyway, thanks for the input.

No. 190836

>>190825
that makes sense. he lives with me so it's just really hard being alone now. i have to take care of him alot so i thought this would be a good break but i'm just finding myself missing him. i'm probably just gonna play games and watch anime.

No. 190841

I want to cry so badly right now, my dentist ignored me when I said he messed up my teeth and now in order to fix them I need my palate expanded and invisible trays.

They just put in the expander and I sound like a cross between that nerd character from robot chicken and a kid with downs, not to mention it hurts like a bitch. I fucking answer a phone for a living, I just tried to practice my line for answering calls and it's just a garbled lisp. I have to wear this 24/7 for 5 months.
In that time my teeth are going to shift and give me a big gap between my front teeth as well, so yay for aesthetics going down the drain.

I'm sitting here in their office trying to not cry, but I'm so frustrated that i have to suffer for something that wasn't my fault.
It's probably first world as fuck I know, but I just feel horrible about this.

No. 190843

>>190841
how did he mess up your teeth, deets?

No. 190845

>>190841
Wtf anon, where are you from? If you're in the US you could probably sue for malpractice.

No. 190846

>>190845
it's honestly really hard to sue for malpractice. my fiance had a surgery for a false diag that was botched and now has permanent nerve damage and scarring. he can't do anything about it because even though other countries know the diag is fake, we recognize it as legit in this country.

No. 190848

File: 1495053967630.jpg (32.04 KB, 540x720, 18554719_1347250015353517_1787…)

>>190843
>>190845

Yep USA, I'm not an artist but doodle of what is going on.
I had braces when I was younger, got a permanent retainer put on. He put it on misaligned and I kept telling him over and over it was wrong but he managed to talk me past it. Over time it just got worse.

I grind my teeth at night (I have a night guard) so since my retainer isn't straight, my grinding is pulling my bottom teeth backwards in toward my tongue. It was really impacting my speech and I started to develop a lisp.

I legitimately sound like this chick now and anything with a T, S, P, anything like that is a HARD Lisp.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gvg44USrnnE

No. 190849

>>190848
there's no way you can sue for this, no one is gonna believe you…

No. 190850

>>190849
I know, I don't have the money to sue anyone anyway haha. The dentist even admitted it was the teeth grinding and retainer slip that caused it but oh well, gonna have to get this fixed with more braces.

I'm just angry and sad that it wasn't my fault by any means but I have to do this to fix the damage.

No. 190858

>>190848
The girl in the video doesn't sound too bad (sounds normal to me) but I feel for you anon. How long did you have the retainer misaligned for? And I never heard of a permanent retainer before. So you can't remove it at all?

No. 190860

>>190858
not OP but i think it's the kind they glue in instead of like braces. usually have to wear it longer tho.

No. 190862

>>190858
It was only slightly misaligned for a long time but didn't cause any issues, it just annoyed me that I could feel it with my tongue. Then it slipped down more and it's been an issue for about…9 months? Like 3 of which I've been waiting for the impressions to be sent off to make the trays and then have them shipped back. the first 6 or so, I brought up that I thought it was getting worse, he said it was fine, waited til my next checkup and was like "dude no fix this shit"

Permanent retainers are fairly common here from what I've seen, it's literally just a piece of wire fused to the back of your teeth with strong glue and you can't take it off unless your dentist does.
What >>190860 said is right.

No. 190902

File: 1495087320566.jpg (Spoiler Image, 43.67 KB, 560x784, B4FFD48.jpg)

>>190794
I want to try the possibilities to see if they work on me instead of assuming if they're fake

I'm desperate at this point especially about my tits,I'd kill to look even SLIGHTLY average, or have at least one attractive feature on my body


Pic related this is what my body somewhat looks like but with chest acne and larger whiter nips, don't open this if you do not want to see a complete nauseating nightmare

No. 190904

>>190902
Were you ever pregnant? I've only seen breasts like that on women who had little to begin with then had kids.

No. 190905

>>190904
No,I've only had intimate experinces probably less than 3 times, no penetration, and each time I had to keep my bra on and shirt due to insecurity plus it would be better for their eyes

I'm young, I have lost about 10 lbs in my entire life, although I'm hitting 140 and want to get down to about 108, where I was freshie year of uni and my body looked good despite my awful tits, lack of hips and ugly skin

I gained a lot of weight due to a breakup over my insecurity (ironic i know)

No. 190907

>>190905
Well the only way to fix them would be surgery. Everything else you can work on and achieve

No. 190908

>>190907
I know .-. and I'm a massive poor fag, I think getting bigger boobs would help even out the nipple boob ratio, and in diet thread there were anons saying certain diets made them gain some boob

No. 190910

>>190902
Are you stupid? They don't work. Giving it a chance is retarded when there's literally not a single reason out there to think that a product that has never worked for anyone will somehow magically work for you just because your low self esteem makes you gullible and desperate. Why ask for advice and say you're willing to do anything and then ignore it all and do something retarded?

No. 190912

>>190910
it worked for some, with minimum or small results, at this point I'm desperate for even the smallest improvement


I know I should go ahead and get breast correction surgery, but I have no idea how I will pay for it

No. 190913

>>190912
anon… I 100% understand you about the breast (size) issue. I'm not even a full A cup and have an column/inverted triangle shape which makes me look like a boy.

I started BC a few years ago, and the effect was minimal (I had to because of hormonal imbalance). People who go up a cup size or more are very, very rare.

What ACTUALLY helped me with the issue was fitness. Lifting to be more precise. I started gaining muscle (and some fat ngl) and now I'm a nice A cup and still going up.

Hormones just don't work like that, sadly. Would love to have C's. I know it's really frustrating but it's best to forget about it or accept it. There are other ways that can help you.

No. 190914

>>190913
I honestly rather have a flat chest with inverted nips a lot more than my boobs, i dont expect to go up cup size, i want rounder, more lifted boobs

No. 190915

>>190912
It hasn't worked for anyone. Those photos are photoshops peddled by the sellers to make you think their junk works magic. How are you possibly in college if you're too thick to spot an obvious scam when people are telling you it's a scam? I pray you're not attempting to get a degree in anything even close to medicine

No. 190916

>>190914
then work on your chest muscle, which will lift them up and make them more perky…

>>190915
not to mention they sometimes take before/after pictures from implant surgeries

No. 190917

>>190916
>>190916
>>190915
not talking about the same 10 pics all scam companies use the same of

I've had friends and women who had actual results from eating certain foods or drinking certain drinks etc

No. 190920

>>190917
Ohhhhh myyyyy god you are too ridiculous. Waste your money, whatever. But don't whinge and ask for advice when you could be slightly sensible and save the money for surgery to correct the noodle boobs or see a doctor for your supposed hormone disorder, or when your scam products fail to do deliver. It's basic goddamn human bio; you can't grow your breasts with food or topical treatments.

No. 190922

A young person I know is dying from a very painful illness. I don't know them well enough to talk to them regularly, but it's all I can think about. It's so unfair.

No. 190925

File: 1495093618587.jpg (Spoiler Image, 76.96 KB, 1200x627, www.curejoy.com_.jpg)

>>190917
As someone with the same unfortunate type tiddies as you anon (grade 2), save your pennies to get the reconstruction of your dreams.
My tits are C cup pancakes because of repeated weight loss/gain and years of birth control. I personally didn't see improvement with strength exercises, but mine aren't tiny balls of tissue like A cups are.

Treat yourself.
You'll regret buying these herbs and supplements, and wonder how much money you could have saved for the surgery had you not purchased them.

No. 190926

This really weird kid that no one liked from my high school class burned to death in a house fire recently. He was a fuckin asshole and people disliked him for good reason, and I'm definitely sickened by the people pretending they liked him on social media, but like…you don't have to like someone to realize how shitty it is to die young and in such a scary way, you know? He was an annoying prick but he didn't deserve that. It just sucks. And the few close friends he DID have are probably torn apart by it. We only graduated a couple years ago so he wasn't even in his 20s yet. I feel for his friends and family. I can't stop imagining how he must've felt when he realized he was trapped. Did he pass out? Did he have to watch it happen? How long did he suffer? Fuck I wanna cry just thinking about it.

No. 190928

>>190926
>burning to death
damn thats excruciating and brutal. if you've ever burned yourself with a hot pan or a flat iron, imagine what that shit is like all over your body but 100 times hotter. probably one of the worst ways to die.

No. 190929

>>190926
If it helps, he was most likely unconscious or dead before he burnt. If it was a nighttime fire he might have even been asleep and asphyxiated without ever knowing.
Even assholes don't deserve the fiery sort of agony you're imagining, and it's entirely possible he didn't experience that at all.

No. 190930

>>190926
I guess he was probably unconscious. I hope. It sound s horrible. It's really weird to think about how the last seconds of someone's life were. My boyfriend's dad killed himself some months ago (he hung himself) and every night I think of how his last seconds of life were, if he regret, if he cried, if he tried to scream, if he was unconscious…

No. 191018

My life is falling apart because of my mental problems and idk what to do. I can't afford any hobbies or to go anywhere or do anything, all I have to play on is my shitty old iPhone and since I had to move back in with my mom, none of my friends talk to me anymore. My job is giving me 15 hours a week, saying it's not fair to the other employees they hired when we were at fucking capacity to give me more hours. And finding a job is stressful as fuck because the amount of kush I have to smoke to relax and be able to sleep or avoid the trembling, nausea, vomiting and stomach issues I have makes it nearly impossible to find a job in an already shitty economy. I guess re one bright side is that I have insurance, but after the money that gets taken out of my paycheck every week to pay for it and my car payment and car insurance, I can't afford to use it. Not only that, living with my mom is hell because she has a hair trigger temper, nags incessantly, and is the most reclusive person I've ever met- she goes to and from work and only talks to people she absolutely has to, hates everyone and says eeeyone is just using you for something or wants to dig gossip out of you. She's the reason I have so many self esteem and trust issues, and idk. Just being stuck in a house with her and not havignsyrhing to do but browse the same 3 apps on my phone and stare at a wall because I literally have $3 in the bank and can't afford to go anywhere or do anything and knowing that nothing is going to get better is really just making me want to die

And I've already called my therapist, suicide hotline, shelters, everyone who claims they can help me get my life back on track and help me get out on my own are a bunch of goddamn liars. Nobody wants o help you unless they get money or recognition out of it, or it makes them look like a good person.

I just want to die and stop being surrounded by happy, normal people who get to just be okay while I struggle to break even every single day of my life. I've lived the last 4 years like this and it's killing me to watch everyone else get their lives started and to sit here and feel so stuck as helpless just because I'm mentally ill.

No. 191020

>>190926
>>190928
>>190929

Against my better judgement I looked into it and I actually got the details wrong. He was found burning in a pit in his yard, the articles are vague but they suggest that it was suicide. He was apparently still awake and moaning when someone found him and called the police. I should really stop thinking about it but I can't.

>>190930
That sucks about your boyfriend's dad :/

No. 191031

>>191020
Well, full thickness burns kill the nerves and there's no pain in the burnt flesh. Plus he would have been kept doped to the gills if he was alive when EMS got there. Fuck self immolation as a suicide method though. I'll skip the gorier details for your sake, and try not to think about it if you can help it. Whatever pain he and the other suicide by hanging you mentioned were in, it's done now.

No. 191041

I'm emotionally attracted to a boy I'm not physically attracted to.

On top of that, it's long distance.

We met on a dating site, and we share the same interests and values. He's a huge weeaboo and very sweet. He also knows all about my mental health problems and isn't scared away by it, if anything he's supportive.

He's just not my type physically, he's not ugly per se, but just not attractive to me. Maybe he could clean up well but I don't know, I'm not physically interested in him.

Lately, our conversations have been growing more distant, both because of our work schedules and stressors in our individuals lives. Now, our conversations are mostly "Hope your day has been going well." and nothing else. Hours between texts.

I think the support I've mentioned before has turned into more of an older brother caring attitude than anything else, and there's no flirtation or chemistry in the chats. I guess that makes it easier when he inevitably leaves me.

I don't date, I can't find guys that I have a mutual attraction to. I don't think I'm even that picky. I don't drink or enjoy clubbing so I just use OKCupid and Tinder, but I know that's not going to get me anywhere. I just keep holding out hope.

Love is just a numbers game…right?

No. 191043

>>191041
You're not going to find a guy worth dating online, go outside

No. 191048

>>191041

Listen to me anon. I am also trapped in a loveless ldr and the best thing is to just break that fucker off NOW before it causes more shit for you. Go and live a happy life. Go out to a bar and find a guy you'll fuck for the rest of your life on sight.

Don't be like me and think that just because he understands your weird hobbies and feelings no other man will. Escape that shit before it becomes an emotional hole you can't climb out of. The only reason you're holding on is because you THINK he might work out someday when you could be finding the one who works out now. Heed my warning

No. 191066

>>191043
>>191048
But what's even the point of shagging a guy you have nothing in common with? I had incredible attraction to a guy, the sex was great but the fact we had not much in common made it awkward, frustrating and really sad in the end.
I'll take someone I can have great conversations with over a good shag any day now.

No. 191082

File: 1495186204771.png (555.61 KB, 540x558, 1469185455921.png)

A new ''friend'' of mine is being really cold towards me and not replying to messages after disappearing for a few days I know he was having a few problems at home because he poured his heart to me and said I'm the only person that makes him happy, he also said he was sick.. I'm a bit of a clingy friend, though I do not reciprocate his feelings as I have a bf already.. I just want people to talk to, I would love to have a girl friend but I'm a shy hermit shit fucking sucks

No. 191087

My best friend ghosted me a year ago, we basically grew up together. I think her boyfriend was being manipulative and instigated the situation, tried to tell her and she was just gone.
I miss her but atleast I don't need to deal with her bossing me around anymore, I guess.

No. 191119

A cute girl that goes on the same walk everyday as me complimented my eyebrows and I dumbly told her I like her too. Nearly died of embarrassment when I realized what I had said. She laughed it off & said she likes girls too. Help I'm crushing hard for her oml!!

No. 191147

>>191119
this is like the start of a cute romcom anon. keep talking to her and see if something comes of it

No. 191166

Sometimes I wish something bad would happen to me, like breaking a bone, being hospitalized etc just so people might care.

I know it sounds edgy, is obviously stupid and I wouldn't hurt myself just for attention but ye, the though is there. How embarrassing.

No. 191168

>>191166
its faggoty but ye same lol

No. 191175

File: 1495218798145.gif (975.41 KB, 498x278, 4856394.gif)

Trying to pay for my summer college classes online but my card keeps getting declined. School starts on Tuesday. I was told that it accepted debit cards, but I guess I was lied to.

Also I'm alone, bored and sleepy.

No. 191188

I've been successfully cutting sugar and carbs out of my meals for the past 2 months and my diet is progressing nicely, but I feel like my mom has been trying to sabotage me.

I moved back home recently to focus on finishing up college and I've noticed that despite begging her not to buy sweets on her grocery trips (since I'm aware of my lack of self control if they're laying around the house) she brings back candy, my favourite brand of chocolate bars, kettlecorn, etc., and will teasingly wave them in front of my face. I've told her politely that I appreciate her buying something for me but I would really prefer she wouldn't since she knows I'm trying to eat healthy, and she'll either roll her eyes or give me a smirk while letting me know where she's going to put them.

I really don't understand this behaviour, why does my mom want to tempt me like this? I know she has had struggles with her weight in the past and bouts of insecurity. Is it out of resentment? A desire to see me fail?

No. 191189

>>191166
I don't really want people to care but sometimes i daydream about getting hurt so I can get out of being an adult for like.. a week or two

No. 191190

>>191188
That's really shitty of her, and reeks of jealosy. How about trying to make her join your diet? Maybe she'll like the challenge and be more supportive if she gets something out of it too? (Seing your child be healthy should be enough though, sry about that)

No. 191200

>>191188
>>191190
Wow, how are you people so negative?! Holy fuck. My first thought was she does it from love.

Parents often struggle to express love for their children as they get older and more rigid and their children more grown up and complex. They seek the kind of relationship they had once, but it's hard to do so when they've naturally grown apart. They often resort to showing love in ways that worked best when their child was still little: some are seemingly overbearing, some are seemingly too critical, some worry needlessly, some pamper ridiculously, some do this, some do that, and their kids find it awkward or confusing, or infuriating. But it's all their way of showing love, in the best way they can think of.

Yours buys sweets for her darling little child. It used to put such a huge smile on your pretty little face, and a tiny squeal of joy! Remember that? She does, it was the best thing in her life, it lit up her soul.

Understand your parents, cut them some slack, be gentle and patient with them, put your love for them before your desire that they do as you please. It's your time to take care of them, they did their fair share for you.

No. 191203

>>191200
Eh, that's not what it sounds like. It's not like her mom was gifting her food while she was away before she mentioned trying to change her diet. Also why taunt her to her face when she's clear about what she wants?

Some parents only want the best for their kids all the time, but that's not all parents. Some fall on the other side of the spectrum a lot of people fall in the middle because they are humans with their own emotions and can sometimes get greedy or jealous.

No. 191204

>>191203
Yeah, I agree with you. Dangeling sweets in front of your dieting daughters face does not sound like "showing love" to me.

No. 191206

>>191203
>>191204
I'm sure she's got best intentions, she just doesn't know how to express them better.

Her much missed child just came back home! She wants to show her love, indulge her, pamper her, and is not used to (and probably doesn't like) the idea of her sweet baby restricting herself of a joy (in her eyes).

She's well-meaning and doing the best that she can. And that's the most any of us can do.

>my favourite brand chocolate bar

Yeeees, such evil, much resentment!
Pshhhh, you guys

No. 191207

>>191206
her daughter asked her to stop though? surely if she cares enough about her daughter she can buy her stuff she wants to eat

No. 191209

>>191207
People are not always rational, particularly when they get emotional, and few things are more emotional then having your child back with you after a long time apart.

WE ARE TALKING ABOUT THE WOMAN WHO CREATED OP, GREW HER WITH HER OWN MILK AND FED HER FOR YEARS.

She cares more than you can imagine. But OP is still and always will be her child in her eyes. So that's how she behaves. And that's ok.

No. 191215

>>191206
This, all the responses read like everyone here is underage.
Yeah it's not healthy but do none of you seriously have a grandmother who always makes you food and packs your plate full of doughnuts whenever you come visit? They don't do this because they're 'jealous' (lol), they do it because it's a ham-fisted way of showing love. They just want to make you happy. My dad does this, he is most certainly not jealous of my figure. Jfc.

No. 191219

Two days ago I had some severe sleep paralysis. I get it about maybe once every 2 or three months, sometimes more, sometimes less. At one point I was getting it back to back, like every morning I wouldn't be able to move for maybe 2-3 minutes.

But anyway, this incident lasted longer, and I started to hear voices telling me random stuff that I couldn't make out. The voices sounded familiar, like my grandma, but a 2spooky version of her.

I did my usual, breathe through your nose and try not to fight it but it lasted so long. And After it was over I ended up going back to sleep lol (I first woke up at like 7 or 8)


I also have a lot of problems falling alseep so I pace around my room for a while. I always feel like some sort of monsterish version of a male figure that used to be in my life is going to pop up and scream at me. I feel like when I turn the lights of and try and focus on sleep the voices come back. Telling me I'm going to go to hell and that my boyfriend is gonna leave me and that everyone hates me.

I think of suicide and death almost every day now, I was waking home one day and looked at the very top floor of my apartment and fantasized about just jumping off the roof.

The voices told me it'd be a good idea but then I remembered it was finals week and I was about to graduate so I decided to go get a drink and watch TV instead.

I had stopped cutting for a while but I picked it back up and now one of my wrists looks pretty fucked up. Not super bad because I try not to cut too deeply or too long, but there are enough noticable scars. When people ask I just lie and the subject usually gets dropped.

Idk what's wrong with me but I'm also weirdly uncomfortable with going to a therapist even though I know I should. The thought of talking to one of them and then getting drugged up and dependent on whatever they give me to feel 'better' makes me shiver.

For some reason, I feel like I'll lose a connection with myself? Like, the voices and everything are my sixth sense and going to therapy will take that away from me?

I know it sounds ridiculous but I feel like I just have this ability, like I was chosen for something and this is just the price I have to pay

>Inb4 schizo


I'm pretty sure it runs in both sides of my family, so there's that. But, I don't feel like I'm that crazy.

No. 191224

>>191219
>the voices are telling me to kill myself
>but I'm totes not crazy lmao
>trust me we know what we're talking about

No. 191225

>>191219
Onset schizophrenia? How old are you, anon?

Even if you did have it, there's nothing to be ashamed of and you're not "crazy". It's just another bullshit stigma surrounding mental illness.

No. 191226


No. 191230

>Adding to >>191175

My skin is burning and itching. I fucking hate having eczema. i hate summer.

I am getting bit up by fleas. I don't know how since my cat is at my mother's house and I live at my grandmother's house, plus I haven't seen her in days.

I hate my art. It fucking sucks, It looks like I draw like a fucking 5 year old. I can't improve no matter how hard I try.

My brother keeps getting suspended from school. He doesn't do anything about get in trouble and getting expelled from every school he goes to. We keep telling him to stop, but her just keeps fighting with kids and getting himself hurt.


Once, my mother broke down and started cussing out the vice principle because of my brother. It was so embarrassing going to my old high school and having to pull out my mother who was screaming and cussing and everyone could hear her. She can't go anything without embarrassing anyone. She screams and cusses so loudly that everyone within a 5 mile radius can hear here and it makes her look trashy and ghetto and I can't stand it. I just want to change my name and move away. But I don't have the funds as of yet.

No. 191231

>>191230
*hear her

No. 191237

>>191219
That sounds like some sort of shizo disorder. There's a shitload of them besides just regular ol schizophrenia. I recommend you look into schizotypal personality disorder (this matches your weird beliefs) and schizoaffective disorder.

No. 191239

>>191230
Your art sucking just means it's not up to your tastes yet. Keep practicing and refining it and you'll produce something that meets that taste and standard and it will make you smile every time you look at it. Nobody tells young artists enough but you have to suck and produce an actual ton of absolute shit before you can express what's in your head. Keep going anon.

No. 191256

I never talk about it, online or otherwise, but i fucking HATE the word "baddie"
I don't get it, is it like a term for being a bad/tough girl? Because wearing a special trend of makeup makes you a gangsta, or what? Like, I don't even hate the look, I just can't stand the name. Oh yeah, bad girl! Cool girl who is bad and tough, just look at her eyebrows! Watch out!!

No. 191260

>>191256

It's just urban vernacular for an attractive woman dressed in a certain style (Video Vixen style)

No. 191266

Oh boy, me again >>190848
When the assistant shoved the thing in my mouth I said it felt like I had been stabbed and she went "oh a little, it'll be fine" and two days later Ha Ha Ha I have two good sized holes in the fucking roof of my mouth from this shit being flat against it 24 hours a day.

I had to go on a liquid diet because my mouth hurt too much to even eat soft bread and hummus, at least I can lose some weight I guess. One bright side to this shit show.

I want to call and complain but they're closed until Monday so I'm just swallowing antibiotics I had from when they removed my wisdom teeth and ibuprofen hoping I don't end up with an infection from this bullshit.

No. 191275

>>191260
Haha, I know. like I said, I just hate the word, it sounds so fucking dumb.

No. 191314

Best friend has been talking to me less this past month. he's been talking more and more to the "new" addition to our small group of friends and I like her a lot, she's really sweet.

About two - three weeks ago I joined in on their call cause we were gonna play a game together and as soon as I join the call he says that I'm super annoying and needy when I'm drunk, which I could have just easily shrugged off and agreed but the tone he said it with made it come out snarky and mean. I was pretty surprised cause he has never acted hostile towards me before so I was basically like??? Then he goes on to say that I flashed him on webcam once too and I said "I don't remember that?" (what he is saying is bullshit because I have my webcam settings turned off and I have it covered anyway) I felt hurt about it, but if he really felt that way then I wished he would have sent me a DM to state his troublings with me instead of airing it out in front of another.

idk it just feels like I'm losing a best friend and it sucks. we use to talk a lot but I can understand if he rather talk to someone more bubbly/active and less gloomy.

No. 191318

>>191314
sounds like he wants to fuck the new girl & he's trying to impress her by putting you down. not best friend material, he's a dick. why are you putting yourself down?

No. 191324

I have a post-traumatic stress disorder and had it for a long time.
I'm good at managing and a pretty simple girl.
But treatment is almost unattainable and it makes my persistence and endurance crumble.
I'm stuck with feelings of hopelessness, inadequacy and jealousy.

No. 191351

>>191266
Oh man, I am so sorry for all this shit you are going through. Your posts sound like a medical horror story, it was hard to read them, and I felt angry and frustrated on your part.

Hang in there, this dental nightmare will soon end, your body is strong, it will push through and adapt. All the best to you buddy!

No. 191388

This sounds so stupid compared to everyone else but i need to complain.
my friend has always taken a long time to get ready. she wears a ton of makeup, basically ig baddie/almost drag makeup. falsies always, contour, stuff like that.
normally she's only an hour or two late to hang out, which i can deal with. today she's four hours late. last time it was three hours.. we're supposed to be going to the museum. i dont understand why she feels the need to do this every time we hang out. it's just getting worse now that she's found the NYX glitter.
like, i love her to death but it stresses me out. she wastes half of the time we could be hanging out doing her makeup.
i have extensions, acrylics, i do my makeup every day too.. but even i find it ridiculous at this point.

No. 191390

>>191388
have you talked to her about it? what if you've already set a time for the event to start, say a movie at 2, is she like it then?

No. 191391

>>191390
we haven't really ever gone to anything like a movie so i can't say, but i definitely can't bring it up to her. she's super dramatic and gets offended easily.

i remember once she posted a photo of this necklace online (it was expensive) and then made another post joking about getting a sugar daddy. i texted her and asked her if she got the necklace, she said no and i said "oh i figured" (because of the sugar daddy post). i assume she blocked me because she wouldn't respond to my texts for a day, and when she came back it's because i apparently called her poor. so god forbid if i come for her makeup, i don't even want to think about what she'd do. she's nice and probably the only person who gets my sense of humor but.. i feel bad for saying this but holy fuck she annoys me sometimes with her time management and how offended she gets.

No. 191400

>>191391
>whole paragraph showcasing her distilled cuntiness
>she's nice
no.

You meekly put up with her shit, are afraid to confront her about it, and even feel guilty about thinking of it. Of course she got worse, expect it will get even more as she pushes even more boundaries. Doormat.

No. 191416

>>191388
Get friends who can manage their time. If she can't get ready without wasting everyone's time because she feels her face is more important than your hours, she's not gonna be any more considerate in other areas. Her shitty self esteem looks like it comes before anyone's anything.
How does she manage a job if she can't get her face ready without causing a three hour delay?

No. 191417

>>191388
I don't get it, why is the makeup the issue when logic says she should just start getting ready earlier to be on time? The problem is that she doesn't respect your time, not that she takes ages to get ready.

This should be pretty easy to discuss, next time you plan something just tell her not to be late because you're not gonna wait, and suggest getting ready earlier.

No. 191440

>>191318
this. he sounds like a thirsty dick so drop him. also i think it's cute that you're needy and "annoying" when you're drunk (if that's true). dw im not a robot

No. 191446

File: 1495335310315.gif (144.7 KB, 256x192, giphy.gif)

Oh god farmers, I'll never be able to find a house so perfect for me ever again I could cry rn.

I'm trying to buy my first home because I'm paying an absurd amount of rent, that's as high as a mortgage for a >$200k home in exchange for this dingy, non-remodeled, loud, 1 bed 1 bath apartment in a corporate complex that doesn't give a shit. Constant spiders and roaches get in because of poor sealants and dirty neighbors.
It's awful, I live in a box and the only time I get outside is on my little patio in the shadiest, mosquito-ridden part surrounded by a bunch of durka durkas at any given time.

The housing market in my area is so hot that homes are sold or under contract in as little as 48 hours after they post. The homes that tend to stay on the market for a week or greater tend to range $300k+ with some issues, or they're million dollar homes. Or they're ridiculously priced condos or townhouses.

Yet I found the cutest, single-family bungalow with a wonderfully updated kitchen, hardwood floors, a yard, storage shed, and for $150k. Which was an AMAZING deal considering it was located next to an expensive country club and 10 minutes from my job.
It stated for sale even though it had been on the market for about a month, but I figured maybe so since it was rather small and not exactly convenient for adults w/ crotchfruits, a rather common factor around here.

I was prepared to apply for down payment grants, initiated a mortgage lender for pre-qualifying questions, and then finally called the realtor who posted the listing. As I introduced myself to her and told her I was interested in a showing, she interrupted me and told me that the listing had long gone under contract to someone else.
I sounded polite, but on the inside it was so soul-crushing. She was kind of condescending about it too, like, how dare people not know the house was no longer for sale even though it was listed as such. She even said "I don't know why people are still calling about that listing…" Stupid.

Worst part is, I'm completely alone in trying to find a place to live. My bf is extremely unmotivated and is too lazy to do the basic stuff for himself like schedule a doctor's appointment or get his license. I love him, but I don't expect anything from him.
I wish I were richer. I wish I had a bf who was also rich and who would take lead in helping us get out of here. It's so hard to feel like the only one interested in this and doing it myself.


Either way, I'm stuck here for another year as we have no choice but to sign another lease before our old one expires. I'm so bummed.

No. 191447

>>191048
>>191043
>>191066

I know, the right thing to do is break it off.

I honestly don't think I'm going to find love at this stage of my life. I'm too focused on work and surviving to have a social life.

I need to delete the apps, but it's just so hard. I'll go a few months without them and then reopen them again. I don't want sex, I just want companionship.

No. 191448

>>191446
I'm not sure why you waited to call when you know how quickly things go where you live. Also, get a realtor. Yesiit's more money but they do all the work for you and most good places never make it online. The place that I wanted already had people that were ready to sign the lease and my realtor talked the owners out of them. Good luck, but really consider it. It makes all the difference.

No. 191450

>>191448
>I'm not sure why you waited to call when you know how quickly things go where you live

>It stated for sale even though it had been on the market for about a month

That might be why.

No. 191451

>>191450
Sorry, I missed that. But yeah, people suck when it comes to taking these down, which is frustrating. (I called an apartment and the past was less than an hour old and was gone already, the past was automated. Another reason why I like real estate agents, it doesn't happen)

No. 191454

I'm sorry guys but I just need to let it all out now.

The past few months started to feel fucking miserable. I never had a big issue with self harm when I was doing that shit I think I started it when I was 14 because I wanted attention more than me actually being depressed.
lately I feel like doing that shit again and 1 reason is because right now I can't do anything about my current situation (I tried nothing changed) and the other reason is probably because I am actually fucking depressed and no one takes it serious. At least I don't feel like people do.
I had been going through some stuff as a child and never really having a loving home was one of it. Like I was annoying and aggressive as a child but my mother beating me didn't help.
And I know that I'm still pretty lucky compared to other people, especially my friends.
Like most of them got some serious stuff going on so that's my main reason why I don't want to whine too much about it (I'm still whining about it but not like directly to my friends). I feel like I don't have the right to be this depressed when my friends are still going through some heavy stuff and I understand that my problems are nothing compared to theirs especially because mine are kinda temporarily.
But sometimes I just want people to notice and ask how I am doing. I feel like most of my friends have this perception of me not having any emotions or not wanting to speak about this shit ? Or maybe they just think I'm fine. I mean they know how I feel in general so I think maybe they just don't care that much or they just have stuff on their own plates right now who knows.
Also I kinda neglected them for half a year and was a fucking asshole that's kinda over and I tried to make up for it but ever since then I don't feel like I'm good friends with them anymore.
Also they always have fun together and I'm not there right now so it really hurts seeing them having fun while I'm doing nothing.

I'm seriously not okay though I mean I start thinking about harming myself again like wtf is wrong with me (not constantly )
I hate that I kinda helped building this wall around me blocking anyone from actually getting close to me, I tried to change that but that didn't really help since no one else changed.
I know I should probably talk to someone about it, but everytime I do they don't take it serious (like my current coworkers never dealt with depression I think lol) and my friends have their own stuff to do and it's not even like we live in the same country right now anyways so what can they do.
I just hate my fucking life right now so much. I dealt with depression before but that was when I was 15 or so and going through some stuff during that age is normal.
Sometimes I want to delete everything so people will finally notice that I'm miserable, but that would be a stupid move really.
I mean I'm not a teenager anymore I should be able to dealt with it but I can't since the times I tried to do something about it people chose to ignore it.

It will change soon probably but sometimes I'm in my bed not being able to sleep asking myself how I if I can still go on for a few months.

No. 191457

>roommate had to move back in with their mom because they have no car
>she still pays rent even though she doesn't live here, because of the lease
>roommate and i don't contact each other for weeks
>all a sudden she messages me outta nowhere asking if she could bring a guy over to fuck

should i feel miffed about this? uncomfortable? im mainly mad because she only talks to me when she needs a favor. besides that im the friend she leaves behind/ignores. pisses me off how she doesn't contact me for weeks. Then all a sudden she messages me playing nice because she wants her fuck boy to come over, so she can fuck him and then leave soon after

No. 191458

>>191457
Why doesn't she just buy out of the lease if you aren't letting her access the property she's paying for?

No. 191460

>>191458
We're only here for 4 more month and breaking a lease is more trouble then its worth. Also she can come into the apartment whenever she wants. Still has her own set of keys

No. 191469

>>191318
It's kinda funny/sad because we all live in different countries. and I've been starting to compare myself to her lately, I should stop.

>>191440
I think he does have kind of a big ego cause he has a lot of girl friends and some have fallen for him. He said that sometimes he ends up unintentionally flirty and doesn't realise it until later, which sounds kinda bs.

And thank you! I get more chatty/needy/annoying when I drinking, the liquid of courage is srs stuff.

No. 191470

>>191457
Well, she is still paying for her room. I think it's nice of her to ask to make sure it's ok with you when it's in fact still the space she's paying for in full.

No. 191471

>>191454
Good. You are learning to be self-dependant. The current lesson is nobody can help you if you don't help yourself. I wish you good luck in your efforts.

No. 191492

I had a bad dream last night, well more or so of a dream because I felt like I was reliving what happened to me a couple years ago. Maybe I'm just super sensitive, but what my friend did to me really screwed me over emotionally. The " dream " went like this: Me & friend were talking to each other about school alone in a classroom. For whatever reason he starts getting very close to me. I back up slowly while he keeps moving towards me. I try to laugh it off because he's making me uncomfortable, he starts to chase me around the class. He pins me on the floor and he gropes me, won't let me go even after I told him to stop repeatingly. It was only a couple of minutes of me struggling to get him off me yet I started to cry. He tells me how small my chest basically is & then lets go of me. It's always been an experience I wanted to forget because it's the first time I've ever grown to be scared of someone I trusted. I constantly went to school with fear that he's going to touch me & I wouldn't be strong enough to get him off me. Everyday I would try to avoid him, but he manages to find me & acts like nothing happened. Even after all these years, I feel humiliated, powerless & scared that I might see him again somehow. I never told anyone this because I feel like I'm overreacting. This isn't the first time someone has touched me against my will, but whatever it's not like I'm entitled to my own body. I don't know, but I woke up crying last night over this. Maybe it's because he's the reason why I dropped out & became a neet. Maybe my actions afterwards were extreme, but the only one affected by it was myself. I'm suicidal nowadays, to think something as stupid as that could turn you into complete waste of air. I've had a lot of breakdowns this month & my hair is started to fall off from all the stress. I've delt with depression most of my life & it's starting to take a toll on my health. I'm so fucking pathetically stupid & useless. I don't even know why I bother even existing at this point, which is dumb because I'm giving myself until the end of the year to live. See? All of this baggage for something stupid that happened years ago, yet I still cry about it like a pissy bitch. Dumb. Sage for excessive spergs

No. 191503

>>191492
You can control whether or not you end up in a room alone with a guy. You're not helpless and this fear can't stop you from living your life.

No. 191511

Why do I still miss my ex?
He did so much shitty things to me yet I kind of want to talk to him, even though in reality it would go nowhere.
Why does my brain constantly remind of the nice times we had together even though he ruined me afterwards?
fuck i hate myself

No. 191535

I feel like I might be a sociopath or a narcissist or something and I'm just too crazy to know it.
I try to avoid drama and just be a good person but it seems like no matter what I do it finds me. Im very sensitive so it gets to me and I end up freaking out. It drives people away because they can't deal with my mental illness and even if they want to help they get overwhelmed.
I'm trying to get better from being in a really bad mental place (suicidal etc.) but I feel like I should just end it because in the end, I'm the common denominator and I must be the one causing this and pushing people away.
I just want to be a good person and a good friend and I feel like all I do is screw up everything and everyone would just feel relief if I was gone. If it weren't for my mom, who would be destroyed, I probably would have ended it already.

No. 191537

>>191535
Dw anon. There's no such thing as a sociopath because that diagnosis died decades ago and narcissists never think the problem could be them.

No. 191538

>>191537
sociopath is used by most people to mean antisocial personality disorder, it's still a real diagnosis, the technical term just changed.

No. 191539

>>191538
Eh, ASPD is fairly uncommon and laymen using the wrong terminology doesn't make sociopathy a legit diagnosis. Anybody calling it sociopathy these days is pretty obviously uneducated on ASPD.

Besides, if anon actually had ASPD they sure as shit wouldn't be too concerned about it or about drama.

No. 191541

>>191539
Not really, many professionals make a distinction between those. Sure it's outdated and no longer an official thing but it's still a thing, not hard to see why either.

No. 191557

>>191541
You sure?
Working in MH I've never once heard a professional use the term sociopath despite the patients being high behaviour and regular ASPD cases. Even our teachers looked at you like a retard if you said 'sociopath'. Maybe it's different in America or wherever you are, but in my country it's not considered a thing by anyone respected or even mediocre in the field.

No. 191559

>>191557
I'm not in the field, but I've worked in correctional services and yes it's still in use and differentiated by psychologists I've spoken to.
That's anecdotal though, I suppose more recent graduates wouldn't. In any case there is a certain debate about it. Personally I do believe there is a difference but that's just my own experience/opinion.

No. 191560

>>191559
I agree with you about their being differences in presentations of ASPD and the changes around use of the term sociopath, but ime it's more of a spectrum of behaviours similar to the autism spectrum. You get your severe "sociopath" level cases who are dangerous as rabies and moderate cases where the person doesn't present with such full-blown behaviours and is manageable with community intervention.

I'd say you come across the first type whilst I deal with the second type, which would definitely be different experiences entirely. My kids can still be swayed be certain consequences for their actions, but I imagine your clients were closer to the 'I'll murder you, rape your corpse, and laugh about it every day in solitary' end of the deal.

No. 191566

>>191560
A spectrum makes sense yes, that's kind of the gist I got. But I also had a psychologist tell me that sociopaths were just "missing" something, like a brain defect and she seemed to genuinely believe that.
I don't think that's true, but I can see where she's coming from. She was pretty old though and in that kind of environment maybe it's easier to tell yourself that than admit humans are just fucked up without being defective.
Thankfully no I didn't work with truly dangerous criminals. Some I was warned about definitely had something "off" about them but that could just be confirmation bias because I was told beforehand.

No. 191593

>>191535 here
I'm not a psychology expert or anything. I just wonder if I'm so screwed up that I have all these incidents for attention without being conscious about it, and this is why everyone pulls away. I fear that there is something far worse wrong with me than just my mental illness that I know about (major depression, anxiety/panic disorder).
I can't stop thinking about and analyzing everything I did and those around me did and trying to understand why I lash out and I just can't get a hold of it. Every time I feel that I was pushed, but other people don't see it that way.
I don't want to be a bad person or so screwed up. I just want to be a good person.

No. 191594

>>191593
Go get a diagnosis and therapy instead of wondering then. You don't fit NPD or ASPD, and are probably a garden variety depression/anxiety or at worst another moderate BPD.

Worrying about having an illness you aren't diagnosed with is silly, especially if the illnesses you're worried about are severe and mostly untreatable personality disorders. Anyone with those disorders will not give a shit or will reject it as an insult to their superiority, not lose sleep over whether they're harming people or if they might be insane.

No. 191597

I've stopped counting calories and didn't go to the gym for 3 weeks and now I've lost like 4kg. It took me 5 fucking months to put on those 4kg and now I'm back at where I was. I literally can't keep this shit on unless I count, I constantly under eat jfc

No. 191599

>>191597
Have you got some of those really calorie dense drinks like ensure? Or you could try baking some really caloric sorts of muesli bars and stuff which could help keep the weight on.

No. 191603

Just need to vent : Weeby goths piss me off so much. They look like any other regular goth but swear that they are in to J fashion and keep clogging up fashion groups with their shitty coords. Snow flakey af because goth is too mainstream for them… -eyeroll-

No. 191609

I started dating someone a few months ago. We are long distance. I've visited him twice already, we are really compatible and into each other. He doesn't want to commit to me because there is no end date to us being long distance (I am trying to find a job where he lives, but it will take some time). Despite this, things have been going well, I feel as though he is my boyfriend–we are only seeing each other, we spend a lot of our free time together (Skype, playing games, etc.) and hell, he even referred to me as his girlfriend to his mother.
The other day, we were talking about someone who's dating around, and he was like "Why don't you do that too? We are so far away after all." and… my heart hurt. Why would I want to do that? I have him. Do I have him? Can I even say that? It made me realize he could easily start dating around and leave me for another girl who could provide him with physical affection, and the thought devastates me. I feel so helpless and fucking stupid for being so in love.

No. 191611

>>191609
Maybe he's just testing you? To see if you want to be committed.

No. 191612

>>191609
LDRs aren't real relationships. People need actual intimacy and involvement in each other's lives. He seems to understand this while you don't.

No. 191623

Honestly tired of others who always somehow deem it necessary to point out how I'm always acting "cute" despite whatever trivial action I make. Who am I acting For? Please point me out to this unknown entity. Yes, my entire personality is a facade designed solely to attract goddamn strangers who I neither want to associate with nor intend to ever speak with. I'm not nearly delusional enough to impose perception as fact when all I've done was keep to myself. Still, it comes off as an eyesore to them when I even so much as stutter. If that's a crime I might as well not even exist?

Not really a big issue, but it's just been frustrating I guess.

No. 191629

>>191609
You need to get some self-respect and leave him. He's told you directly that he doesn't think you're dating, and he would go for a real life girl if it was convenient. Why are you agonizing over him? The "evidence" for him considering you a partner is easily explained (tells mom you're his gf so he doesn't look like a loser), and besides that vastly overpowered by him saying DIRECTLY THAT YOU'RE NOT HIS GF.

He is clearly using you temporarily: for emotional support, for fucking once in awhile, for social status. At least he has the honesty to tell you that!

No. 191632

It annoys me when religious people insist that atheists have "no morals", and without a god there is no reason to not be a shithead.
Maybe morals exist not because we're inherently afraid of some heavenly repercussion, but because they make everyone's lives a bit more convenient and nice. Even animals other than humans have their own social codes, like bonobos, elephants, etc and they don't have religion. It's almost like those people are actually exposing that the only reason they themselves are not the shittiest people known to mankind (though a lot of shitty people are still religious lmao) is because they don't want to get smote by a metaphysical being, not because they have empathy, or their own ideas on what should and should not be done in a community for the sake of comfort.

No. 191634

>>191632
Based on my past experience (raised Catholic and attended religious schools for 5 years), people with religious affiliations often do and say deplorable things with the expectation that as long as they're weally weally sowweh about it later, they'll be absolved of all wrongdoing by their deity.
I've literally witnessed child molesters and other horrible people say they're going to go to heaven after they die, whereas any non-believers will not no matter how good they were in life (Pope Francis recently turned this around a little, but up until him this was seriously the belief).
I'd argue that religion makes social cooperation worse because it gives a false high ground to people who essentially believe they can do whatever the fuck they want under an appeal to authority.

No. 191638

File: 1495482183775.jpg (66.5 KB, 792x417, 8NEPUEvCco-6QySSPA-qbbipD4bCWU…)

I feel like I'm doomed to be stuck in high-stess, low paying customer service jobs because I'm a short, young female holding advanced degrees that nobody respects with a job history that is all service.

I try to find upward mobility but either under-qualified (yet seniority) people outrank me, I don't have the experience, or my degree type isn't right.
It's frustrating.
I requested sick from my call center today just because we were having massive irregular operations due to weather (something customers expect us to be miracle workers about) and I didn't want to have to deal with nonstop rudeness and bitching today.
>"You actually thought a Master's degree was going to help your resume! You must be so embarrassed!"

No. 191644

I used to have a friend I sometimes talked to in high school that lied about some really personal - but pretty harmless - stuff. I wouldn't call her a pathological liar since she never really lied about anything else, just this one lie that sort of got out of control. She was otherwise nice, albeit quiet, and had some problems at home with a controlling single mom and had to take shitloads of Xanax or something similar because of that.

Anyway, we graduated high school and got into college, and since the community here is very small, I ended up getting to know some people that knew her from elementary school. The truth behind that lie got out, and then they also started spreading gossip about her from her early days and piling on her. She'd dropped out not long before that and disappeared without a trace.
The rumors kept going and she soon became like a mini college lolcow.

Lately I've been watching "13 Reasons Why" and wondering what she's doing now. She's always been kind of a weird, cringy sperg that people made fun of behind her back but other than that the girl was nice and pretty harmless. We've since graduated, but I wish I could've done something to make it stop. I tried to contact her a few times over FB but she ended up deleting it, I just remember that her Facebook posts were always some negative lowkey rants (irl she was always happy to talk to people, so idk). I hope she's okay.

No. 191657

Can y'all be honest with me here?

I suffer from delusions and paranoid thinking - a lot of the time I'm aware that I'm thinking irrationally but sometimes I'm so convinced that people are planning to hurt me as a group, that someone is going to try to hurt me, etc. I suspect it stems from fucked teen years but whatever. Anyway the people I'm 'close' to encourage me to talk to them about how I'm feeling and to not bottle it up and have something bad happen as a result of it. Whenever I do so I either get a response like 'that's too much effort, we don't care that much' or 'well [shrug emoji]'. Recently I've noticed that one friend who stopped speaking to me has been sharing a lot of FB posts like 'abusive/manipulative people love to complain about how they're left with nobody and then play victim lol' or 'constant manipulation is boring don't you ever get tired?' and I suspect it's about myself but I don't know if that's more paranoia or what.

Can someone be honest: is behaviour like this manipulative? I thought that telling people what I felt was the best way to talk it out and work around it. It's not like I'm saying 'I think everyone hates me but you love me, don't you? And you'll stay with me forever, right?', more like 'I keep thinking that people are planning to hurt me but I don't know why I'm thinking like this because rationally it's just wrong, but I'm convinced that it's true'. Is this manipulative/abusive of me? What else can I do to work these feelings out with people if so? I would really rather talk this out than keep convincing myself forever but if that's the abusive behaviour then I should stop.

No. 191658

The muscles of my neck and jaw get locked and painful after a day of pretty much nothing, basic chores and some talk with my SO.
I feel already old and it's a really shitty feeling.

No. 191659

>>191657
No… I don't think that's manipulative. Either that person is dealing with someone who is, or they're a prick. And that is why you should never ever confide in your friends, they either won't have the energy to deal with your problems or will use them against you eventually. Learned that the hard way.

See a shrink or any professional that's used to dealing with stuff like that.

No. 191662

>>191657
You can't talk about your mental illness to normies. They won't get it, and worse, they'll make fun of you.
Find yourself a shrink, take medication and keep this shit in your head.
Trying to explain my GAD or depression to people always made them freak out (and it's not even the hard-core stuff in the mental health world). You have to learn your own coping mechanisms. Don't rely on others (you maybe can on your so or your parents but even that isn't guaranteed).

No. 191663

>>191659
>>191662
Thanks guys. They aren't even 'normies' though - all of us have a history of mental illness so I thought I'd be in the clear. It's kind of become…normalised though, in the sense that because everyone suffers with shit, it's not a big deal. So then even suicide attempts aren't a big deal.

But anyway. I've found that friends who have no mental health issues/have recovered from them are still more helpful. I just really needed to know if what I was doing was wrong (it still might be, in their eyes).

No. 191664

>>191657
Well without knowing what you're saying to them nobody can tell you if it's manipulative or not.

No. 191668

>>191657
>abusive/manipulative people love to complain about how they're left with nobody and then play victim lol
>constant manipulation is boring don't you ever get tired?

You know why these statements are ironic, anon?
Because this person is trying to manipulate people into thinking that because they hate manipulative people, that they aren't manipulative.

I'm pretty positive passive-aggressive rallying against a certain person's positive OR negative traits is also a form of manipulation in their favor.

No. 191670

>>191664
I'm trying to recall other conversations I've had but most are along the lines of 'I feel like you hate me' or 'I think everyone is trying to hurt me but it'll be alright as long as nobody sees me and I stay in my house'. I'm never exactly fishing for 'we don't hate you!!! uwu" since I never believe them anyway, but when I get into the state where I actually have to ask, I'm more just trying to get them to admit it (since other actions have kind of told me that they're sick of me, regardless of the paranoia BS). Which I understand could be manipulative. But to me, why lie about it and then get annoyed if I ask after you've shown that we're not that close any more, rather than just tell me?

>>191668
I understand that anon, thank you. I haven't even spoken to that person (or anyone who could be somehow relaying what I say to them) for a while, so it seems like they're just trying to get me to retalliate somehow. I might just try and talk it out now.

No. 191671

>>191670
To be honest, why even merit that with a response? It just shows to them that you've internalized what they've said regardless of whether or not you're actually guilty of that behavior.

I mean do you seriously feel like you've played a victim card to this person?

No. 191673

>>191657
We don't know you so we can't tell you whether you're manipulative or not. I can tell you that pretty much everyone is super self centered and assumes things are about them like people laughing at them when in reality no one is really paying you that much attention so you could be reading into something that's not there.

No. 191679

>>191638
what did you study?
art?

No. 191681

>>191657
from what you said, it doesnt seem that youre abusive or manipulative in any way.
but this guy seems. you can make it so you dont see his posts on your feed. I would encourage you to do that if it boggley you.

No. 191682

>>191219
voices can be seen as kind of a sign that something is wrong. same as a depressive mood can be there to tell you something isnt working right in your life. hearing voices can have the same aspect.
it doesnt mean though that a depressive mood or hearing voices is a sixth sense.

get professional help and if it's only for the self harm and suicidal thoughts.

No. 191683

>>191671
I don't know. I guess I'm just trying to cling onto friendship but it probably won't be reciprocated. I actually messaged them on twitter (classic me, forgetting I blocked everyone on everything else!) but I just want to unsend it before they wake up and see it. I don't feel as though it's a battle that I want to keep fighting.

I think they think I play the 'victim' card because I tend to use my twitter as a bit of a venting space (hardly anyone follows me so why not) and so if they see something like 'lol everyone hates me' they assume I'm trying to get people to feel bad for me or something? Or make someone else out to be the bad guy? As >>191673 said, everyone is somewhat self-centred anyway so considering that I know they feel the same way about themselves sometimes, wouldn't that just resonate with them rather than give them another reason to call me manipulative?

No clue. Bit of an odd bunch I'm in. I think I'm clutching at straws for reasons to keep the 'friendship' alive so now would be an ideal time to give up if I didn't feel so guilty about leaving things on shit terms.

>>191681
Thanks anon. I might try and just cut myself off from that particular group for good (i.e. unfollow/unfriend on all platforms). It'd be easier if I didn't have mutual friends with them, haha. But what's done is done.
Also,
>boggley
I had a little giggle at that even if it wasn't intentional (sorry!) so thank you!

No. 191684

Really want to die lately, can somebody hold me

No. 191685

File: 1495502809900.gif (1.92 MB, 500x265, 6.gif)

>>191684
it's okay anon.
everything's gonna be alright someday.

No. 191686

>>191684
Go to an Ariana Grande concert, apparently that's a good way to get killed right now.

No. 191687

>>191683
youre twitter is not completely anonymous then?
do friends of you know its yours? this would strike me as odd then.

>boggley

kek nah, was suppossed to say boggles, but i realize thats still wrong lmao, thought there was a verb that derives from mind-boggling (not native in english over here).

No. 191688

>>191686
why dont you open up a thread on that topic if you want to talk about it?

No. 191690

File: 1495504763863.jpg (126.83 KB, 600x497, 1481493983811.jpg)

>>191684
Me too, anon. Me too.

No. 191692

I feel a incorageable self-hetered, I am 26 and feel I have reached a dead end going nowhere. I feel I have fucked up, I am have been unemployed since February, a shitty temp job that I hated, but at least I felt some self worth. I have not found another job in my field yet. I would like to finally get my bachelors degree, but last time I tried I flunked out. I tried to get Comptia certifications, yet I fail each time because I'm fucking stupid (rather play video games and watch anime). I also have bad anxiety and depression, I also have lost all female friends I once had( almost 0 women in my workplace only 48 +). The only upside is I have a associates degree and a great boyfriend. In my spare time I have been learning web development, I really like that hopefully I will lead to something good. Any folks going through similar situations?

No. 191697

My boyfriend found some birth eggs he wants to try and hatch on his own but me and our roomie are trying to plead with him to just silence them with death because we don't have the funds/he doesn't have the intelligence to raise a bird from birth to adulthood.
What enjoyment do you have watching these birds hatch from the eggs when they are just going to die??

No. 191717

Boss is celebrating that he won the elections so he ordered food for all of us.
I chickened out because I'm too anxious to eat around so many people at the same table. Damn I feel embarrassed and like shit

No. 191718

>>190476
This.

People become more like their parents the older they get too.

No. 191721

I'm overseas and left my mom and stepdad to care for our pets.
A dove which I raised from birth escaped. I never trusted her to be released because every time I tried to give her a fly around the house she didn't seem to get the hang of landing and would just drop right out of the air. She'd even seized once and that was the last attempt.
Fortunately she's been doing well outside and visits our feeder everyday. I was a little ticked that it happened but I'm glad to hear she's doing well.

Also last year my mom wanted to get some baby chicks. I said nope, no, I'm going to be the one to care for them, I'm terrified of them getting eaten by wild animals, bad idea.
She insisted my stepdad would build a big safe run for them outdoors.
So we got three. We were in the middle of a move to a proper house but stepdad never had the time for that run before I went on my trip.
I was with them everyday and raised them. In particular the white one grew really fond of me and she was quite an adventurous and curious bird.
So the chickens stayed in the sunroom once they got bigger but that of course didn't work as the weather got warmer and so we got a pretty large chicken tractor that I figured would do the trick until the run could be made.

Before I left, and I had mentioned this many times to the point of probably being an annoyance, I said… "Don't let them out unless you're watching"
"Yep got it, I absolutely won't"
That said, my stepdad is stubborn and kept talking about letting them out to free range and that they'll pop back in their little home when the sun sets.

So the other day I got this text from my mom…
>Ducky (the white chicken) got alien abducted the other day. Literally disappeared and we haven't seen her since. I still look for her but no sign at all. If an animal got her there would be feathers. It's been making me crazy. We came home from work and no Ducky. Now we are afraid to let the chickens out if we aren't home. I miss her.

I was kind of confused at first about how a chicken could have escaped that tractor, reached the end of the text and I was furious.

Calmed down and just said "Oh no… I said not to let them out if no one's watching… This is why I didn't want chickens"

>I know. They like being out so much though.


Awesome. No apology. And this is silly but my meds give me really vivid and realistic dreams and in my dreams since that day I've been endlessly trying to find all of my birds (and also my childhood dog?). If I was home I would search for hours. She's a chicken, so that's great cause she can eat whatever and be fine. But I'm not sure how she'll do for water and also she's bright white and we have hawks, coyotes, snakes, all sorts of shit around… Hoping she's just being broody somewhere and will come back soon.
Just… insanely frustrated. I love my mom but this is such an "I fucking told you so" situation and I wish it wasn't. I'm crushed that my buddy is gone.

No. 191722

File: 1495536350580.jpg (27.72 KB, 600x600, 50ml-60ml-Disposable-Plastic-D…)

>>191697
Bird anon from previous post. I've never incubated any eggs but time will likely sort that out for you as they're probably cold by now. If they actually hatch it's surprisingly easy to raise them.

>dental syringe (I found pharmacies give them to you for free, something similar to this)

>Kaytee Exact baby bird formula

Mix the formula, open up their little beaks and drop a few squirts on their tongue and let them swallow. Repeat.
You won't need a cage until they can fly and there's usually free or cheap ones on craigslist that'll do the trick.

I'm sure the eggs have been dealt with by now but if your boyfriend is insisting I wouldn't worry about the hassle of it too much. They need to be fed regularly but I've never lost a bird while giving them formula. It's like an IV drip.

No. 191724

>>191687
No, it's not anonymous. It's not supposed to be private or anything, it has my name and stuff on there so they know it's mine. I opened it to follow celebrities I like and stuff but I don't really use it other than that, so the actual profile part is just my little venting area.

No. 191728

>start to listen to a podcast
>there's four guys and a girl
>the girl takes all the time speaking loudly and like a retard, like retarded voices to try to be funny, singing some sentences, so quirky xD
>her points are the most basic things ever, like middle school tier shit, she's always talking about herself
Fucking why. I hope it gets better in other episodes.

No. 191778

Been feeling really good about myself. Clothes are loose on me now and I can do 1 hr workouts just fine when before i couldn't. My stomach is tighter though still got a pouch but before I had a belly.
I've stopped stepping on the scale for months but now that I did I realize I've gained 10 pounds and I want to die.
I feel like an idiot for thinking I was doing well

No. 191779

>>191778
Muscle > fat, don't worry anon. You are skinnier!

No. 191780

I feel like we've had an influx of spergchan like anons lately. Small things get blown out of proportion and god forbid you don't hate everything everyone that gets posted here do. Idk, aside from the obvious psychos like onision etc I mostly use this place to keep up with my "internet soap opera", and up until recently you could post something positive without getting hounded. Some of the comments in the jvlogger thread reads equally as insane as kikis posts did, and idk. Is the disc more civil? I hate pull and don't go there btw, I'm not saying we shouldn't have fun and make jokes, it just gets tiering when it's like, intense rage at everything anyone does. Ya feel? I've been here since the start of 2015, it really feels more hostile than ever. Oh and I mean, i don't even care if anons want to hate, I'm just tired of seing all the infighting when someone has a somewhat positive or nutral attitude towards whoevers being talked about.

No. 191783

>>191780
Been here since early 2016 so I don't have as much experience as you but weren't the anons always a little cunty and deranged? It seems like a lot of these anons have mental issues and project that to other people to feel better about themselves. It feels very transparent and strange. They need help.

No. 191786

>>191780
Depends on the thread.
Some of the threads I don't post in just because I'd suspect it be full of sensitive PULLchans, and I'd expect that vlogger thread to be one of them.

No. 191794

>>187938
>>191778
actually, muscle weights more than fat so total weight isn't the more important thing tbh… you're doing just fine! keep it up :)

No. 191795

>>191786
What is the general view of PULL here? I've only ever visited once or twice, and it just seemed blander and tamer than here. It didn't hold my attention.

Vent: Most of my friends have moved away and now I'm alone most of the time. I have plenty of internet/skype friends, but no one to hang out with IRL. I feel like all I do is go to work and come home. I don't really have the money or drive to go out, I'm not a bar or club person. Thoughts?

No. 191796

>>191795
PULL is for the people who are actually jealous/envious of the cows/flakes. usually they wish they were the person, and are obsessed in a serious way rather than making fun of them.

No. 191810

>>191783
Yeah, I agree. I mean, anonymity always brings out a few edgelords, and that's fine, it's not like lolcow used to be one big hugbox, but it used to be more of a discussion of topics, not attacking each other for saying like "oh, i don't mind ethan from H3" for example?

>>191786
I mean, I get what your saying but why the need to hate so intensely? I'm not saying that you are, and there are def some whiteknights who show up from time to time that I truly understand people snapping at i.e "you are all bitches!!! So and so is an angel!!" But just because every single thread here isn't a perma circlejerk of nitpicking and frothing at the mouth, is that really a bad thing?

All in all, I'm getting older, and the more laud back vibe we used to have here was what attracked me in the first place. Lols were had. Now it's become more of a hybrid femme 4chan and it's kinda boring. I saw some anon had made a new board and so far the place seems more calm. I might just migrate. Anyway, I have noe idea how I would go about "fixing" this place, bans are moot, and anons keep getting angrier.

>>191795
I personally don't like PULL because of the namefagging. They seem to have their own popularity contest within their own, and on top of that they can get ridiculously tinfoil. Most of them are no better than the cows themselves.

Tldr; I just wanna have some lighthearted fun, tired of the excessive aggression that's been brewing. Wish spamming reeeeee-anons would be marked. Bet most angry posts are from the same few anons.

No. 191811

>>191810
Jesus. Typos etc, my bad.

No. 191834

I feel depressed as shit after masturbating. I don't even know why I still do it. My sex drive is low so I rarely do it but it fucks up my mood so much.

No. 191848

>>191834

It actually makes me feel alone and ashamed, even if I'm not single when I do it

No. 191857

My pet isn't even very old but he had so many chronic issues pop up out of the blue. The vet said nothing can be done at this point. He is my world, I hate seeing him suffer. But he is not sick enough to be in pain, just discomfort. I hate this so much. I wish there was something I can do.

No. 191863

>>191834
Are you doing it to emotionally replace something? If you watch porn that might have a lot to do with it depending on what it is too.

I used to feel that way, but it was a weird shame/self harm thing I was indulging in bc I stopped drinking and used that as a form of release. Maybe try looking into other forms of release especially exercise, that way you are in your body and using it to release endorphins in a healthy way. Otherwise consider seeing a therapist short term depending on how bad it is, for me it ended up being a symptom of a really big issue I would not have discovered on my own.

Good luck though!

No. 191883

Earlier tonight my mom told me that my cousin may have t cell lymphoma. We aren't as close as we used to be and thinking about how hard this must be for her breaks my heart. Things have been kind of tumultuous for her family recently as it is. I want to call her tomorrow morning but I don't even know what to say. I feel like a piece of shit since it feels like it's only this awful news driving me to check on her…

No. 191893

I'm suicidal and I have people fucking with me just because they're stupid mean girls who get off on upsetting me.
I'd call them on their shit and rip them apart but they're trying to get me kicked out of the organization we're all in and so I have to be very careful lest they have any ammo towards me.
I hate that at 30 years old I'm still having to deal with this high school bullshit.

No. 191894

File: 1495600152249.png (190.13 KB, 400x323, arguecat.png)

>>191883
>I feel like a piece of shit for being empathic
Say what? Dude, people are usually there just for the good times, and run away when bad times come. You're the opposite. You're good, and you should feel good.

Call her. Don't fret over what to say, just say exactly what you feel - that you heard the bad news and and felt the need to check up on her. Trust me, she'll appreciate it. And it's more than is expected from you.

And don't you dare ever again feel bad for being a good person. The universe depends on you.

No. 191896

>>191893
Why are you suicidal in the first place?

Focus on that, never mind the "baww, mean gurlz".

No. 191898

I used to think I was jealous of my friend because she goes on so many dates and seems to have a much more active romantic life than I do

But in actuality after listening to her closely tonight, I realize that she's just telling me this bullshit to make herself feel better about the fact that she's dysfunctional as shit and will probably never find someone to dump her massive ego on. Now I almost feel sorry for her

No. 191899

>>191894
Ah, you're gonna make me cry. Thank you anon that's really nice.
My mom said something along the lines of what you said. My cousins such a sweet person. I think I'll just let her know that I love her and that I'm sorry for not doing more to keep in touch. Thank you for the reassurance, it really, really does help.

No. 191903

I'm really into this guy but today he started pressuring me a little and asking me for nudes and made me feel awful. Not on purpose, I guess, but I feel awful anyway.

Things started to get kind of hot so he asked me if I wanted to see the d, and i said ofc I do. So he sent a pic. Then another. Then a short video.
He knows I'm shy as fuck and that taking pictures is not something I like to do but he asked me if I could send one back. I felt bad but said I would send one. So I took a damn picture…Then deleted him and told him I just couldn't send it because I didn't feel good about doing it. He asked me it was something he did or said, and I told him that no it's just me. Fuck…Why am I like this? Things got kinda awkward after that. He tried to be understanding but I'm sad anyway because I keep screwing things up when it comes to sex/relationships.

I know I probably did the right thing because having your nudes leaked can be awful, but holy shit, why didn't i just say right there in the beginning that i wouldn't send anything? It just never crossed my mind that he'd ask for a picture because he already knows me so well. Plus I wouldn't even show my face in the picture, just a specific body part or two.

Anyway, I'm stupid for making this such a big deal, and I'm tired of being fuckings stupid. Sigh.

No. 191904

>>191903
Deleted it*, not him. My post is full of typos but oh well it's late.

No. 191905

My friend just sent me a bunch of pictures of me taken in the last year, and my weight gain is very noticeable to me and now I'm spiraling. I spent the last year sitting on my ass because depression/a bad break up/a shitty diet and I think I've put on around 10-15 lbs, which makes a huge difference on me since I'm 5'0.

I've tried losing the weight in the past two months on and off but each time I stop because I have to do at home workouts since I can't afford a gym right now or buy equipment so I have to settle for videos and myself and once the initial panic over my weight passes I don't follow through, or take a rest day that turns into three rest weeks.

I know I need to lose this weight and it's not going to magically melt off, but it's been a challenge to really get motivated and keep that going. I'm just tired of being trapped in this cycle of feeling horrible about myself, working out, deciding it's fine because body positivity, and then seeing a picture of myself, freaking out and starting all over again, but I know I'm the only one who can get myself out of it.

No. 191907

>>191905
Just forget about working out and diet properly, you can easily lose weight through a caloric deficit without working out, whereas you would struggle to lose weight with even a significant amount of exercise unless you dieted to. It's harder to maintain without muscle tone but at least it's a start and will boost your self esteem/motivation.

I gained 30lbs in a very short period of time due to serious overeating and lost all of it by eating less. No exercise at all. It didn't make me stick thin and toned but it got me down to the low end of a healthy BMI, and that was enough to save my mental/emotional health.

No. 191909

I broke my nose when I was very, very young and it's always made me look so fucking ugly.

It's not very big per se, but it has a bump, a bulbous tip and bends to one side a little bit. I don't have an ugly face but my nose completely ruins it.

I've wanted a nose job ever since I was 14, I'm now 24. I was finally going to have it. I even went for a consultation and the doc showed me a photoshopped after pic on my face and I cried, it looked so much better.

But I'm a poor person living in an expensive country and the price was €8700. I'd saved up 8000, and I was given an option of a loan. They said there won't be any problems since I already have most of the money.
However, when I went to apply for the loan, the bank denied it because I have no income and they don't take savings into account. I can't afford it now, and I can't get a job for other reasons I won't disclose here. I'll also be really busy for the next 5+ years and will have to move several times so if I ever get it done, it'll probably be when I'm at least 32.

I'm devastated. It was finally going to happen, and someone just jerked it right out of my hands. Now I'm stuck with an ugly nose forever, or at least while it matters. I know people are going to start lecturing me about life not ending after you turn 30, but I want to be pretty and enjoy life while I still can. When I turn 30 I'm planning to get a husband and have a baby anyway so my looks won't matter as much.

No. 191912

File: 1495616915602.jpg (72.38 KB, 648x416, Standard-Dachshund.jpg)

>>191857
Don't forget to put him down in time. My cousin's dog had a huge cyst(?) on its belly for years but she was reluctant to ease his suffering. In exchange she had to witness his death agony lasting for two hours.
She was a mess afterwards. It took her a long time to get over it. She had the dog for most of her life.

No. 191914

>>191909
When I was broke and in college and needed $ quick I just worked a weekend at a strip club. Lol you don't seem cut out for it though. You seem overly sensitive.

No. 191918

>>191914
I'm not really built for a strip club either

No. 191919

>>191905
Hi anon. I'm the same height as you and I've lost 25lbs so far without doing any work out. I should hit the gym because I need it to avoid being squishy like I am right now, but that is a whole another deal.

Anyway, if you're struggling please know what >>191907 said is completely right. When I started my plan I'd watch tons of videos on weight​ loss and i remember one that specifically said it's better to focus only on dieting when you don't have much motivation/need to lose a considerable amount of weight. First because you will feel more motivated to better yourself once you lose some lbs and because if you're too heavy, working out can really fucking exhaust and stress you out in the beginning. You don't need to lose much but I think the motivation thing could work for you. Good luck!

No. 191922

>>191239
I decided to set aside some money (about 200USD) to buy some art books. Thanks for the encouragement, I appreciate it.

No. 191924

>>191909
>tries to take out a loan to get plastic surgery
>has no income

fucking millennials, God damn

No. 191931

>>191924
My dad has money but won't pay for my nosejob, you jel? I can pay it off in installments ezpz if I say it's for a club, but I can't explain a lump sum of €8700.

No. 191942

None of my friends were able to room with my in my new place, so I had to go to CL to get some rando bitch and I'm already sick of her in less than a week.

1. Her room smells, it smells like paint/paint thinner. It wasn't like that before she moved in. It's so thick that it seeps out the door when it's open. I cannot figure out what the fuck this plastic-y smell is but it's driving me crazy.

2. She frequently leaves lights on in the house after she leaves the room. I've come home to all the lights in the house on because she refuses to turn them off. I rarely turn the lights on because the apartment gets good natural light and I'm trying to save on the electric bill.

3. This morning, I woke up and she left the gas stove on broil for god knows how long and the room was smoky and the vent on full blast. Nothing was in the stove and it had been on longer than to preheat for anything. When I asked her she acted dumb until I pointed out that it scorched the bananas I keep on the table next to the stove, she then promised to buy me new bananas.

She seemed fine during the interview, but I'm already sick of her. She's a student and despite saying she has a job, she's never left for work and spends all day at home. Fortunately the rent is covered for this month but if she can't fucking pay her half I'm going to murder the bitch.

No. 191952

>>191942
She sounds like a straight up meth head.

No. 191958

>>191942
as >>191952 said, the paint thinner thing makes me think meth

No. 192051

>>191931
But you only need 700, you said you already have the rest. So tell him that you want to borrow 700? If he has money, that shouldn't be a problem I suppose, especially if you're paying it back.

No. 192054

File: 1495672847167.jpg (93.78 KB, 600x450, baby sleep position-censored f…)

i'm so fucking exhausted. i have severe restless leg syndrome and sleeping at night is getting worse. i can't lay on my back or the wormy/crawling jolting feeling intensifies. laying on my side hurts my hips because for some reason my bones are tender ? (i don't know why this is but even a small amount of pressure is horrible)and sleeping on my stomach is ruining my shoulders because i have to extend one arm under my head/pillow and it feels like i'm really fucking them up.
i have no comfortable sleeping position and by the morning i've reverted to a baby's sleeping pose, all bunched up under myself just to get a few minutes before i just give in and wake up.

i want the RLS to go away, it ruins my day and my nights and the last few medications i took for it sucked. one made me dissociate for like 3 weeks.
i used to have my bf really grind his fists/heels of his palms into my muscles, stand on my legs, just to make the sensations stop, but that kept causing really bad bruising and i can't do that anymore.

i'm just so god damn tired and exhausted from the no sleep, the ants and worms and tightening ropes in my legs and the pain. it's making me weepy.

No. 192057

>>192054
Some things that have helped our patients who have this:

>sleeping in a recliner

>warm or cold leg soaks
>exercising

We've had a lot of patients say a combination of those things has improved their RLS. Otherwise are you seeing a neurologist or just your regular doctor? It might be worth it to see a neurologist, they might be able to help.

No. 192058

>>191952
>>191958

Any way I can confirm or figure it out without being invasive or weird?

No. 192063

>>192058
Definitely method. You can buy those drug testing kits that cops use off of Amazon and test some stuff in her room. The only thing is those kits are sensitive to pretty much anything and will give a false positive a lot of the time.

Do you own the place or are you renting from someone? If you own the place start the eviction process and evict her but make sure to change your locks and stuff afterward.

Otherwise just call the cops on her.

No. 192064

>>192063
*meth, not method

No. 192069

>>192057
i don't have a recliner to sleep in, but maybe i can rig up something similar and i haven't tried a soak, warm or cold, in a while, i'll give that a shot tonight. as for exercise, this actually makes the sensations worse for me, the days after a walk or strength training are intensely uncomfortable. i still do them tho.

i haven't been to a doctor in a few years , my last one really phoned it in when it came to rls. seeing a neurologist is something i've never considered however. i'll definitely look into locating one near me. thanks for the advice anon!

No. 192078

>>192069
Hope it works out for you anon. The one patient to we had that didn't respond to conservative treatment went onto gabapentin and that helped her a lot (so did oxycodone but we don't prescribe that long term)

No. 192089

>>192063

I rent from someone else. Thing is, she doesn't /seem/ like a meth head, she's (Supposedly) a bio student and she doesn't seem to have fucked up teeth or anything.

I just can't place the smell and it's really concerning. I mentioned it once kinda off-hand, "Do you smell burning plastic?" and she acted like she didn't smell anything, but it's impossible not to notice. It can't be any sort of normal BO or hygiene smell, it's too chemical.

The oven thing this morning really weirded me out too. The vent was on and I felt the heat as soon as I walked out of my bedroom. I gave it a few minutes in case she was preheating it or something, but nothing. Then when I vaguely called her out, I got a "wasn't me" until I pointed out the burnt bananas. Bitch I was sleeping until now, who the hell was it?

Of course the first time I room with a stranger and they turn out to be a meth head. IDK what to do because I don't want to cause tension if I am just overreacting and then I'm still stuck with her.

A friend is picking me up to hang out tomorrow, I might ask her to stop in and see if she can't place the scent.

No. 192092

>>192089
Lol most people who do meth don't have scabs or smell bad. That's just propaganda. Only backwood hicks experience all that and let's face it, they'd have scabs and poor hygiene regardless

If she's a bio student then she's smart and she's using meth or some addy type substance as a study aid. The problem isn't the drug it's sleep deprivation that makes people do weird shit.

Source: have Desoxyn prescription which is pretty much meth

No. 192106

>>192092
Lmao a desoxyn script for managing behavioural disorders isn't the same as filthy methheads and all methheads end up filthy eventually. The scabs are because they pick because they don't process the chemicals the same way you do and it makes them fucking disgusting, crazy, self absorbed, and devoid of empathy or normal human emotions. Meth makes you disgusting and a shitty person no matter what. Your add meds don't make you an expert on junkies anon, try living with the animals for a few years.

No. 192114

>>191914
>implying it's a bad thing to not be "cut out" for a strip club

Sluts gonna slut I guess

No. 192115

I have a therapy problem I'd like to address w you guys.

I go to therapy 1x a week because I have some major issues stemming from severe abuse throughout most of my childhood and beyond. But it's really difficult for me to go every single week, and I find myself unable to go more than 2x a month. I know I'm not getting as much work done when I go 2x month, but at the same time 1x a week is too much to handle. But when I bring this up with my therapist, she says basically my issues need to be addressed thouroughly and I won't see quick progress if I go only 2x a month. What do you guys think? Any advice?