File: 1670508369461.png (267.67 KB, 731x742, Cow squish.png)
Let's scream into the abyss about our problems and try to help each other where we can.
Previous thread >>>/ot/1426945
File: 1670509236278.jpeg (41.32 KB, 474x468, 6179866806b5271ac475f372_474_4…)
Pray for me nonnies, I've been seeing this guy lately and I want to take it slow so I have to hold myself back to not immediately bone him now that I'm having dinner at his place for the first time tomorrow. I haven't had sex in 3 years, I'm still hormonal from just having my period and I'm super into him so my sexual frustration is absolutely driving me up the wall.
File: 1670513548759.png (118.43 KB, 275x274, 1660142030862.png)
I post art online. I haven't before this year. But internet art communities are way different than what they were in like 2015-2016. People overreact and overexaggerate everything. I just want to draw my cartoon husbandos in peace and share my goofy art with people. Not be told to "kys" by some shitty 13 yr old because I drew their favorite twink too "sexualized". I dont draw kids or weird porn. They'll explode if you draw the dad from the PPG for example or any other unconventionally attractive cartoon dude. I know I need to grow thicker skin, especially if i post online. Im just in a sensitive spot right now. Art is really all I have to boost myself. Im in a slump and it's the only thing i look forward to. But now I'm second guessing the quality of my art because people violently shart their pants so much over anything that isn't the highly rendered, anime style girls or guys theyre used to seeing.
Like anything people used to draw on deviantart or tumblr before 2016 would get you death threats now.
I dont know what to do. I honestly just wanted to make art friends and have that online experience i never got to have because I was so busy studying. Everything is so different and vile now.
Sorry you had to go through that. Twt and reddit have made things worse, so a lot of people online think it's okay to send literal death threats to artists they dont agree with. If I'm not mistaken, the artists for my hero academic had to apologise for a drawing he did of all the main heroes in bathing suits?? it was so odd. And then I heard the western fandom for voltron was horrendous because they wanted their shitty gay ship to be canon.
You have to have thick skin to be an artist now a days and draw what you want. I would just block and ignore those assholes.
File: 1670514050546.gif (1.94 MB, 450x337, 67BA53D8-3660-4E7C-9946-870751…)
>look busted as fuck today
>lost my sakaki from azumanga daioh keychain during my commute
>hair is insanely greasy and the braids i put them in made me look like i have microcephaly
>failed my oral exam
>literally peed my pants during it ( but it wasnt obvious as im wearing a massive coat and i didnt empty out my bladder but if i sat somewhere that seat would be sopping wet with piss also it was so obvious i was holding in my pee the whole time )
>it was in front of all sexist males ( they were discussing and im not even joking or exaggerating, how great andrew tate is on discipline and viewpoints as well as jordan peterson as some great doctor. felt like i was in highschool )
>humiliatingly had to ask my professor during the exam if i could go to the bathroom with tears in my eyes in front of everyone after not being able to answer most questions ( she wasnt mad and she told me we were done anyway and then when i came back she asked about me personally etc )
>prof told me it was the first time she saw me when i attended the whole month meaning that i look so ugly today she didnt recognize me
>i waited a total of 8 hours on my feet without sitting for one second wearing the world's most uncomfortable heels ( also the world's cutest plain heels ever made )
should i kill myself
File: 1670515076816.jpg (399.56 KB, 2880x2880, 20221208_105742.jpg)
Videos like this are so annoying. There isn't much difference facially between a 16 and 23 year old when women aren't wearing makeup and honestly it comes off as humble bragging.
thanks anon and idk but my cat died and my apartment flooded like a week or two ago rendering my laptop unusable. im literally misery from ruby gloom irl. just waiting to get struck by lightning now. dont know what on earth i've done to deserve all this karma but i'll take it i'm not mad honestly i probably do deserve it somehow.
also i was holding in my pee from 6am and i was done with my exam at 4pm. 10 hours of holding that in and it only decided to escape out my bladder the moment it was my turn to get up and do my exam. whatever the major thing is that no one noticed however they most definitely did notice me contorting legs in ways to hold in my pee. idc for the most part because its not like i'll see them again really but that was really humiliating. im mostly upset about losing my sakaki…
I was asked for my ID when I ordered a cocktail with vodka few years ago. Drinking age is 16 here and I was 32 when I ordered it.
Funny enough, the guy that gave out the drinks also looked younger than 20 but was in his 30s as well. People are just different, there are lot of 30+ looking like 20, 16/23 is reaaaally nothing rare or special but zoomer culture is all about being a special snowflake.
I think people looking young or the same for a long time is normal and most people are just influenced by boomers.
Boomers looked like literal 50 year olds with 30. There was this meme going around from a sitcom of the 80s with the actors and the ages and nobody on twitter believed the ages were real but they were. It's just that millennials and zoomers look much, much younger in comparison with how most boomers of the same age have looked liked in the 70s or 80s.
Most of my 16 year old students look much younger than her. Teenagers really do look unfinished, just different from children, but definitely not adults.>>1437423
I agree about the tv thing. Perceptions are absolutely warped from them casting 25 year olds to play 16 year olds.
People don't know what any age looks like, I've seen people say women who look their age look 10 years older once they find out->Oh she's 20? She looks 28!
Like, okay so she looks in her 20's. What does that really look like? We all age/look different
File: 1670517549853.jpg (505.93 KB, 2880x1765, 20221208_113817.jpg)
As if 16 year olds look this fucking haggard
this is so fucking embarrassing. blog but im 25 and once while buying wine a checkout clerk asked for my id and commented that i “looked 17”. i was so embarrassed that i changed my fashion style to look more mature and began working on how i present myself in public. i think it’s honestly coomer brain rot from watching too many “teen barely legal” videos with adult actors, internet & social media grooming teens (mostly girls) en masse into sexualizing themselves at younger ages, like >>1437437
said, adults playing teens in every piece of visual media available. women like this are probably deeply insecure about their aging and accept pseudo pedophilic comments because it keeps them from being the worst thing a woman can be - old (read: worthless).
File: 1670518339352.jpg (64.41 KB, 597x556, bf2df4054f5ee387a01f277f2ace93…)
5-10 years ago teens were trying desperately to look older/dressed super mature like picrel. Now suddenly dressing/looking like pedo bait is mainstream. Where did we go wrong nonas
Not trying to be a bitch nonnie
but why do I get an overwhelming feeling that there were probably a million other red flags that came along with this moid? Or was he just a completely normal innocent angel
who flipped like a coin on you?
Why do these women want to be underaged so bad?
There are so many women in their early 20s going , "I get carded all the time! I look 15." it's so gross and male pandering. It unconsciously sexualizes children.
File: 1670521114859.png (122.28 KB, 553x818, 1670269046253647.png)
Is there some extension where I can turn imageboards into textboards? I'm so tired of seeing messed up shit. I wish moids would go extinct.
It's the most commonly used phrase by pickmes ever. "uwu ppl think I'm 14 I'm really actually 21 aren't i so cute and young looking? i'm not like those other wretched crones that are 24 and look their age" I have a young face but I will literally never make an entire tiktok about it especially if I was 23.
It just reinforces the idea that once a woman goes past the age of 21 she is pretty much old, which is what a lot of these dumb fucks think nowadays. "Damn I'm 22, I'm soooo oooold haha". No.
This exactly. It’s weird to be in your 20s (young) and obsessed with talking about how teenager like you think you look…
Also I don’t even consider anyone to be an adult until they’re like, 35 now that I am what is considered an “adult” kek. And even most 35 year old women are pretty “young looking” (look their age)
I knew someone was going to suggest exposure therapy but I'm not sure, I'm not an aggressive person at all and I don't know if I could change my entire personality. I guess it also doesn't help that the conflict and the feeling of it reminds me of when my mom used to be abusive
. Thanks for your reply anon.
File: 1670529986283.jpeg (42.36 KB, 480x454, 96B7AC6B-8805-4655-9CE6-2CEEE0…)
I used to be into film (especially artsy horror movies). I made internet friends with this seemingly nice girl who eventually turned into a psychotic, meth-addict FtM. She pressured me into watching ultra-hardcore bdsm rape porn and later straight-up snuff. I don’t watch movies anymore.
snuff is a myth imo, you have to be into deep networks with degenerates to find these, and i barely think people produce these things nowadays. i think she was talking about videos that are on bestgore or watchpeopledie
those are not illegal
If this belongs better in another thread, sorry nonnas.
I befriended and tossed out a scrote this year. He was way more mentally ill than just having XY (bipolar 1) and beyond what I learned that I could deal with. (Lots of experience with crazy people, just mostly fellow women.) I realize now that he had lovebombed me, the covert nature of his narcissism escaped me at the time because he used and abused how he had "social anxiety" to get things like pity praises and constantly keep things more isolated. I think the entire half year friendship, he was priming to blow up at me. He had dubbed himself my caretaker in his head and was "always trying to fix me and my problems" despite me never asking for that and he obviously didn't do anything like that anyway. He was older than me by a few years, but I had to argue and raise my voice a few times about his attitudes whenever something small went wrong that created a minor inconvenience for him. He told me that he had a crush on me from inception - he had dubbed me his best friend immediately and before I thought we were really proper friends, this was an alarming thing I should've corrected but I always feel like this with people - and said he started jerking off to me that far back into barely knowing me, that he had formed a delusion we were in love. He told me that the majority of things that I liked to talk about he considered retarded, and that he was ignoring me or making fun of me in his head when I'd talk about them. Meanwhile, he was also crazytalking about shit that I find retarded and this was the same time as Kanye's live episode. (God forbid you compare them, even though they're comparable.) I got unsolicited dick pics and pics of PMs between him and people I hated where he was shittalking me about things. I've gotten him out of my life now, and he's already targeting another and younger girl to ruin the life of. I've asked friends if I'm right to feel traumatized by this whole event and got agreement. I really hope getting it off my chest more will help me heal faster and return to a better norm.
Kek this is vent thread nonny
. I hope you keep your head on straight and it works out with ur nigel. If not tho, come back anytime!
babe… Please never get excited about anything a man says while intoxicated. If you want to be married have a serious conversation with him while you're both fully sober and then see what he says.
After that you'll have to watch his actions.
i think she's pretty but she doesn't look 16 kek
maybe tv 16, in which 16 year olds are being portrayed by people in their twenties
The professor seems nice to ask after you personally. Sorry about you losing Sakaki, I used to have a crush on her back in the day.
When it rains it pours I guess. Do you think your mindset is also affecting what's happening? Like because you've had consistently bad luck you're just expecting it to continue? I've had periods where looking back I played down the good parts because I was convinced everyone and everything had it out for me, but alternately after a good week I had an objectively bad day where everything was just fucked and I shrugged off every instance and was mentally unscathed.
I just read the reply and I'm NOT saying it's your fault, I'm so sorry about your cat. But I do believe you can jinx yourself. It might be beneficial to take a little break from things if you can and reset to approach everything in a more neutral manner.
File: 1670536071133.jpg (52.75 KB, 526x716, bliss-permeated-mother-anandam…)
The spiritual path is not for the weaklings. But after getting a glimpse of reality, I was left with no choice but to immerse myself in the present relentlessly. My body is not flexible so I'm not capable of sitting for a long time without excruciating pain, so I sit for short meditation sessions and lie down for longer ones. I try to keep steady attention during the day and discriminate between my mind's patterns and my true nature. There's nothing for me in this world but I can't become a monk so I have to keep carrying on with my daily activities anyway, which is quite a challenge when all I wanna do is be immersed in meditation
File: 1670538048319.png (536.43 KB, 564x421, Screenshot_124.png)
i've had unexplained chest pain for four years at this point. it started in 2018 after a run. it has been a constant, 24/7 thing, and while i've mostly acclimated it still drives me nuts. i would go on about my history with tackling it, but i've got a blog-y thread up on cc https://crystal.cafe/hb/res/3629.html
i wonder what the fuck is wrong with me. am i just going to up and die one day? i try googling solutions and find nothing, it's like i'm the only one who suffers from unending chest pain. i'm so used to it that it's tough to describe what it feels like anymore…a mild ache that burns?
nothing helpful barring the last doctor (female) who correctly diagnosed me with gerd after two idiots (male) somehow missed it. she gave me pills which helped the gerd symptoms, but the chest pain persisted
maybe i need to hit up a cardiologist again
I have the food in a low dish, almost like a plate, so it won't touch the whiskers!>>1437959
I've done that too, yet the remainder of the wet food is always there, then won't be touched ever again, even if I top it off with more dry. Will proceed to eat roughly 25% from a fresh pack of course. I never had a picky cat before; My childhood cats grew up on dry food only. I'm thinking my cat would rather die too, honestly. It's baffling to me lol.
File: 1670544460879.jpg (157.53 KB, 1200x1200, BWL_AP990032_M_WHT_A.jpg)
Have you tried an elevated food dish? I had a cat with a similar issue and it mysteriously worked, couldn't tell you why other than I just assume it was more comfortable.
File: 1670544495968.jpg (40.22 KB, 533x437, 1646461274277.jpg)
I am fucking tired of waiting for my cunt mom to help me, i have accepted that she only gives a shit about herself. I am so fucking tired nonnies, i begged, i cried for her to take me to a dermatologist saince i was a teen and instead she gave me products from her shitty MLM scam that only made my skin worse. Now everytime i look at myself in the mirror i get filled with anger and hatred. I fucking hate myself, i have gone months without looking at myself in the mirror because it makes me spiral into suicide ideation. People have different tastes, some think big noses are beautiful, other think buckteeth are cute, but for sure absolutely everyone in the face of earth thinks acne and acne scars or skin conditions are disgusting. It makes me so fucking deperssed how incredibly dirty they make you look, wouldnt wish acne and acne related issues to no one. I am grabing money from my savings and going myself i dont care if i have to waste all my savings, i am so fucking tired and depressed and disgusted.
File: 1670545012947.png (876.19 KB, 720x1280, x1n9hw06sx561.png)
I knew a guy like this. he didnt know how to communicate except with a photo of himself with a vapid statement
Same anon, yeah headcanon is one thing and that’s fine, a lot of people do that and that’s how we get a lot of fanfics. But I’m seeing people say it’s fact and are fighting everyone else about it and being so aggressive kek. >>1438006
Now you see people dead set on calling a character transgender and if you don’t agree you’re transphobic. If you don’t agree they’re neurodivergent, you’re ableist.
I very rarely ask for people's photos even if I want to see them unless it's like, someone says they got a new haircut then I'll want to see it. But multiple selfies of my same damn face every day is just weird af. And like I said he also sends photos of himself with the same frequency he asks for mine.. I cut contact again because it got too annoying. If someone wants to send ok, but don't lowkey ask the same from me specially if I'm at home or work (like 99% of the time) doing nothing interesting and looking like shit
Men like this are retarded
File: 1670547824608.png (60.71 KB, 1116x423, 2022-12-09 01_50_43-Window.png)
i used to go on this one alternative health forum but it has since been infested my mra, mgtow, incels and pickme retards. I keep seeing retarded posts like pic rel. Dude was totally abused by his evil wife and he was forced to do housework and even make his own breakfast and lunch! sounds like it was a green card marriage for him but he got her put in jail for human trafficking??? He sounds like he wasn't contributing financially at all just saving up most of his money and sending the rest to family. I can't even call him out cause it'd be rude to start an argument on a post about the death of the guy the forum is based on. Also he says most men end up in ail for self defense in domestic disputes cause obv women are the violent ones.
also some retard pick me keep making posts about her superiority and how all women are whores and she can't find any like minded friends and her proof that all women are whores is youtube tiktok compilations and women on instagram she's seething over. Comments are full of tards applauding her. One woman mentions getting an abortion when she was married and couldn't support more children and she still says she's a murderer but that's totally fine. Literally every website other than lolcow is full of retarded pickmes and mra's and you can't say shit or you get banned.
I'm so fucking mad every website is like this now i can't even read shitty diet advice from insane people in piece, there is no shitty diet discussion anymore on there it's just retarded politics.
bought a really cute top today! it sucks that retail sells shittier clothes as times comes, but as its picking on the trend of second hand clothing or remaking them, sometimes i can find really cute belts or tops for stupid prices lmao. last time i found a studded leather belt for $14 when local punks sell them at $25-$30. the belt just needed some cleaning and readjusting to my size and that was it.
local stores of second hand clothing are much more pricey and aren't quite as cute at the things the retards in retail sell.
File: 1670550169913.jpeg (149.29 KB, 750x1000, DA93506A-61A0-4450-9D71-BB608B…)
I understand girls and women who turn nonbinary because I would love to escape being an ugly woman, just for a day. I would never want to be a man either and that’s why enbies want to be genderless. I want to escape my ugliness
File: 1670551080173.gif (148.56 KB, 220x217, mode.gif)
>talking to customer service online
>they answer my question as I'm typing it
Anons… hello? Why?
"I've typed out rage responses then edited them into calm responses before sending, support agent was probably laughing at my dumb ass."
on a similar note, facebook also saves messages you type but don't post
File: 1670553859222.jpg (61.77 KB, 750x731, 1633453828652.jpg)
How do I talk to my mom about flunking college and lying about it for so long? I've failed at finding a full time job or making path to actual adult independence. I think it would be best to come clean.
You can’t identify out of oppression nonny
, you’d still be subjected to gendered expectations and exactly none of male privilege. Cope a different way.
Men will cry abuse at anything a woman does that inconvenience him. If a man claims he was in an abusive
relationship he's either lying or the "abuse" was innocuous shit like the woman telling him to clean up after himself, respecting her own boundaries by not having sex with him, etc. It sounds like he was using his wife for a green card.
File: 1670556513734.jpg (16.17 KB, 239x275, 1660060815022.jpg)
I'm pissed off, nonnies. I've vented before about this scrote who is not related to my family at all and how my mom has decided to pretend he's her son now (my ACTUAL brother doesn't speak to my parents but that's a dumb story in itself). Anyways she got the fucking scrote a table over the summer because the faggot is bad with money, surprise, surprise. She told him it was his Christmas present. She also gave him a couch my grandparents were getting rid recently (there were better people it could've gone to) because scrotey talked about getting a new couch but never did (streaming networks are more important). She now wants to give him expensive alcohol (just what the alcoholic needs) and his kids gifts. My parents barely interact with his kids. He never lets my parents see them when he has them unless my parents are doing something for him or giving the kids stuff. So instead of taking that money and putting it towards actual family members with kids present, she'd rather give his kids more. It pisses me off because the kids who belong to a cousin of mine haven't been in contact with us for 10 years. It is no their fault, their mother decided to cut off all family ties. Early on my cousin's grandparents went to see the kids and had the cops called on the grandparents. It was hell and now finally the family gets to interact with them. Unfortunately my cousin and his kids live far away from us. I find it in bad taste she'd rather give scrotey kids better presents (don't worry his kids get good gifts from both divorced parents besides grandparents since he's the only one with kids at the moment). I'm just tired of my parents going through hoops to appease this grifting weirdo especially since the economy is in a recession. My parents aren't rich or wealthy and I'm amazed how she lets his tantrums slide. Men really do get away with so much shit. The only thing I want for Christmas is the fucking bottle opener scrotey stole from us because my grandparents got that in Hawaii when they lived there briefly in the 60's. It's a good bottle opener and it holds some memories for me.
Yeah I called 999 and gave them all the info in my post. They sent a car hella fast. I don’t know exactly what happened but he instantly calmed down when they came & I heard bits of the conversation through my door. It sounded like he said he was angry because he walked two miles without a phone to stay at his friend’s house and then his friend didn’t let him in? I don’t know. My gut was screaming danger but now that I think about it maybe I read it wrong and he was the danger.>>1438202
thank you nona this is really reassuring
File: 1670561618672.jpg (358.49 KB, 2560x2560, 81 SHHRHylL.jpg)
Bulimia recovery is so depressing. Uncontrollable binge-purging is hellish but it brings some spark to my life. In the same way as binge-eating recovery, the advice can be worded as kindly as anything but it will always boil down to "put down the fork, fatty". And I'm completely able to put down the fork by this point but it is so so joyless.
I already know the answer to this one: "it's not supposed to be fun, it's just something you have to do!"
Keeping down normal amounts of food might curb binge urges but I've never needed to stop binging to lose weight BECAUSE I didn't keep it down. Now I look like a normal person even though I'm not even healthy weight, how fucked up is that?
What was even the point of recovering? I regret so badly ever seeking help. I should have understood what it would entail.
File: 1670564053840.jpg (245.72 KB, 941x1345, FUHIf69WIAIRsrt.jpg)
I can't think of anything that would make me happier than these two dying violently. I would say I hope they kill themselves but they're far too narcissistic for that.
File: 1670565986328.jpg (40.81 KB, 563x696, 36115f05e3e794387373030950e9ef…)
>Is it like taking psychedelics?
Not really. Psychedelics can crack your ego all at one go while meditation needs consistent daily practice in order to achieve some level of detachment. However, once the effects of the psychedelics are over, you will have to go back to world anyway, no matter how beautiful and awakening was your trip. I myself had very enlightening trips which left me feeling good for a few days but once the high was over, I was back to my old self, which made me very frustrated.
>Has your life improved since starting this? By what metrics if so?
It has improved in the sense that mundane feelings like anger, jealousy, hate, etc, can no longer touch me. This makes a huge impact on your life in general because, since nothing can make you react anymore, there's nothing clouding up your vision, so you start getting glimpses of reality. However I think I should mention that I don't only meditate for a specific period; besides the daily sessions, I try to keep my attention steady throughout the day while carrying with my daily activites.
>What's reality? Or rather your perception of it
Last year I had a strange experience: I was washing the dishes and suddenly, something washed over me; it felt like I was expanding. After that, for a whole week it was like I didn't exist, in the sense that my body carried on with its daily activities (better than I ever could) and I was just observing everything. After that week, my mind went back to its usual egotistic modus operandi but I was transformed forever. I understood that I am not confined to the body, and that is all I can affirm about reality for now.
>So many people think they know reality, why do you think you're correct?
I don't know if they are correct or not, which is why I'm on this path; even if they say so and so and it matches my experience, I still want to see it for myself.
It's because he's a moid, not because he's black. You'd do better if you remember this.
I'm sorry you were attacked, it's fucked up that no one helped you. I hope your head is alright and that this won't cause you too much lasting anxiety.
File: 1670567251206.gif (1.86 MB, 498x278, 5r235696e4215a7899.gif)
lmfao all this back-to-back bait tonight. all different flavors of bait too.
File: 1670568611727.jpeg (449.72 KB, 828x687, 10602C4B-6194-417A-B491-EEDF2E…)
i had a fun night last night, i saw one of my fav bands live, i just still feel disgusting. i can never escape this feeling!
i met up with a moid i used to talk to and we went to his house to hangout before the show, he was very eager to do sexual things with me and was just overall super touchy feely. i was pretty noticeably sick at this point and wasnt making much of an effort back, but moids will be moids. the show was great, i was right at the front of the mosh and got thrashed.
afterwards went to the guys house and i was in so much pain and had huge bruises all over my body, it was hard to even move. he still wanted to do sexual stuff and i was just not having it and ended up pretending to pass out.
hes i guess? respectful but just way too fucking horny. in the morning i woke up and my sickness was worse ten fold, i was sneezing everywhere, still couldnt move from the bruises and had a fever/haziness all over. he was still trying to be sexual despite me literally saying ow whenever he would knock on my bruises and me not being able to kiss back because of my blocked nose. turns out i had covid for the first time! but nonono, that didnt stop him from still trying to do stuff.
i still think hes nice but every moid i hangout with i feel like i can see right through them, at the end of the day they’re all still the same degenerate coombrained freaks. i feel gross with myself, and ofc the covid and bruises dont help.
Samefag from this post but I’m actually physically bawling my eyes out thinking about how widely acceptable it’s becoming for moids to attack women on the street. Nobody bats a fucking eye and being subject to physical abuse by a man outside my own home today while being stared down by other men women and children who just watched
and reacted like it was television instead of acting and understanding that it was someone’s reality and that maybe a woman does need someone to come to her defense but purposefully decide to ignore it makes me want to cut myself to death.>>1438320>You’d do better if you remembered this
I’ll just restate because you must’ve not read this part but I was right outside of my house about to walk up to my front door to unlock it when this happened to me and both my arms were full with bags of groceries. My apologies, my reflexes didn’t work as quickly because methhead Aziz Ansari felt like catching a wiggerina by surprise!
I think you misunderstood me as well. I am not blaming you for anything. I am saying that you are distracting yourself by putting it on race. A moid is a moid is a moid of any stripe, color, creed. If you think any sort is worse than another you're putting yourself in further danger.
Like I said. I hate that this happened to you and I feel sad for you. I read where you were, and I think that's awful and I hope you never see the bastard again. Just don't get hung up on race because any race of man is a pile of shit.
File: 1670575404161.jpeg (52.46 KB, 500x350, FF44E351-4597-4729-8E9E-F6DFA4…)
You're blackpilled, but you admit you have better standards. Why not live your life for yourself, and if you meet a man who seems actually decent, decide then if you'll take the plunge? You're better off not forcing yourself to settle for someone you recognize you're not into, someone who's shit. If you live the rest of your life without a scrote, then at least you can be sure you didn't force yourself through something unpleasant. But if you meet someone who gives you good feelings, maybe take the risk. Life is about risks and we can't avoid being hurt, at least try new experiences provided you have good judgment. Probably an unpopular lc opinion but it's the approach I also decided to take, live naturally and see what comes
File: 1670576208443.jpg (7.04 KB, 275x210, 892312856.jpg)
I'm so fucking dumb I just received two of the same package, I double checked and it appears I did indeed order it twice on two separate days, there's no refunds available because it's a small shop so now I just have duplicate christmas presents FUCK, thankfully it was only a 45 dollar mistake but I hate being so stupid.
I’m sorry you’re going through this nona. I don’t know if my advice will help but I hope it does.
I did a year of eating disorder outpatient for bulimia and it stopped me purging but not binging. The thing that finally stopped me binging was I started saying out loud “I choose this” with every bite when I started binging. It rewired my brain from the out-of-control bulimia trance. Before that I felt like a passive automaton when I binged, like I’d left my body completely and I was watching the binge happen to me against my will. When I started saying it was my choice it actually became my choice and only then could I choose to stop. I haven’t binged in like ten years now.
You have to start practicing compassion and forgiveness to empower yourself and set yourself free. You started this maladaptive coping mechanism for a reason and that’s okay; it once served you and kept you safe. You’re ready to let it go now. So forgive past you. She was doing her best to get through a terrible situation with the only method she knew. Please forgive her and allow yourself to move on and learn new methods.
Wishing you strength, compassion for yourself and peace.
File: 1670588704553.jpeg (482.9 KB, 750x1132, 79D939CE-3150-4543-A63A-5C5B45…)
>>1437843>Sorry about you losing Sakaki
thanks anon, and me too about the crush thing. it was thrifted irl so i dont think i'll able to find the same one again but i'll take it as a lesson to not get attached to material things. i've lost so many of my most prized possessions in the past 3 years i've sort of just been thinking of it in a sand mandala way, picrel
>Do you think your mindset is also affecting what's happening? Like because you've had consistently bad luck you're just expecting it to continue?
i haven't thought of it that way before, and you're probably right. definitely not a pessimistic person as i physically can't twist my mind to think in just a way but i just take my bad luck as an objective fundamental truth about myself that i have to live with. like now i learned a lesson from whatever's happened to me and i know to do better in the future for myself and others etc. i don't dwell on it really i know i said if i should kill myself in my original post but i was joking kek
after i typed out the post i was already laughing with my mum again>I've had periods where looking back I played down the good parts because I was convinced everyone and everything had it out for me, but alternately after a good week I had an objectively bad day where everything was just fucked and I shrugged off every instance and was mentally unscathed.
hmmm my shrink actually said something like that to me when i used to go and yeah you're likely right again. i mean i do see the good in my life but it's very little and not long lasting as opposed to the bad, but i know they're still to be considered. like i said i'm not too sad about it longterm
>I just read the reply and I'm NOT saying it's your fault, I'm so sorry about your cat.
thanks anon you are really sweet, and thank you for giving my post so much thought and time. >It might be beneficial to take a little break from things if you can and reset to approach everything in a more neutral manner.
i don't really know how to go about that at the moment but i'll look into it. thanks for everything anon, i hope have a good day!
File: 1670593813115.jpg (404.87 KB, 1484x1005, 38yapg.jpg)
I hate how I can be obsessed with something for months and then out of nowhere I can completely lose interest in it. There is this tv show I have been obsessing over since summer. It was the only thing I could think about. When I talked to people I would find subtle ways to sneak in references to the show.I spend all my free time either watching it or downloading fanart of it and organizing it into folders. I can't even begin to describe how much this show occupied my mind it was intense. Literally living rent free.
Then one morning I suddenly woke up and then I had completely lost interest in it. Nothing really prompted my disinterest in the series I just suddenly didn't care about it. I also just started participating in the fandom after I have been lurking for months, but now I have to unfollow everyone on social media that post about this because I just feel nothing when I see anything related to these characters even though they meant to much to me a few months ago. what also sucks is that I never got to finish this show because there are a gazillion episodes but now I can't really be bothered to finish it even though I have already invested so much time into it
This isn't the first time this has happened to me but usually I go from an intense obsession to a mild interest. There have been cases where I went from intense obsession to literally not caring but in those cases the obsession only lasted a few weeks, not months. I have never tried obsessing over something for so long only to completely lose interest. I hate this I'm so jealous of people who can have the same interests for years
File: 1670593851299.jpg (20.44 KB, 540x537, 4676d9b3b7fec568760950e76b26a5…)
I think I'm completely done trying to make friends for a while and that's okay with me. I recently tried to be friends with another woman in this WoW roleplaying group I was in (and she was actually a woman, not a tranny) we seemed to have almost everything in common and would always laugh about stuff and share dumb bitch memes to each other. Even a very similar taste in music.
I remember talking about a Margaret Attwood quote one time - the male gaze one - and she said she really related to that one too and had seen something about the Handmaid's Tale. I said, hey why don't we watch it together, or just any show or movie that we both like or want to see, as I can find some way to stream it? And wtf…it was just never brought up again. I tried to do something fun with her and she just completely ignored it as if I hadn't suggested anything at all. I would have been fine if she said no for whatever reason, but she just ignored me, and then our friendship just quickly dwindled from there.
This was a year or two ago and when I knew her, we were both pretty libfem-ish but she was generally a nice person. Now, I checked her twitter and it's basically fantasy porn art with women with hugely exaggerated proportions - massive tits and hips, like ig baddie elves or something. I guess I dodged a bullet in that sense, but at the same time I'm still really sad. I tried to message her a few times back then to initiate conversations or share something funny but it always felt really half-arsed from her side.
Idk, I'm just still a bit sad and bitter about it because that was the last time I felt like "hey, this person is almost like me and we get along really well" in terms of friendships…and it still didn't work out. I wonder if I did anything wrong, but looking back on our messages I didn't even say anything to offend her or potentially put her off?
I'm just also more bitter because I see her interact with other people from that roleplaying group like they're besties and it's just like…I thought we genuinely got along but she couldn't even be bothered to respond to me and then eventually stopped altogether. I value female friendships really highly so when one doesn't work out, it just puts me off for ages, and makes me feel even more of a social outcast.
File: 1670595881580.jpg (158.34 KB, 900x900, smiletoday.jpg)
i keep working hard for the things that i want. these things are simple in some respect, namely moving out to a different country and having a pet as a companion. id now be lying if i said i didnt cry often at how long it has taken to heal from my past, to save up and lose money over unexpected things, to see people achieve what they want be for me. i feel stuck, i feel like i am in limbo, yet each time i push because i am hopeful. i am hopeful that it does not have to be between emigration or death, and rather i can even have the change t move to a new country. a chance to not let my emotional thinking rule me nor let my rational thinking be so strict and hard on me. maybe my head is in the clouds, but i cant not give this a shot. is it really impossible? i have given myself a year, around there, to save up what i need and pick a country and do everything required visa wise. yes am a bit fearful for my safety but i cant wait to do things because i am alone nor fear my safety or what could go wrong my entire life. i wish i had more resources or close friends who have done this. i need something to believe in, but i am not religious. im just going to try to continue listening to my heart and body and love because it is the only way i have seen things go well. yes, i have been very hurt due to love when i neglect myself, but i think i know better now. and i wager more comes back onto onself from loving others than feeling hopeless and hateful toward myself and what i can do. im 21. i feel old. i feel behind. but it just cant matter anymore. i want to be a beautiful, intelligent, respectable woman. maybe i never will be, buti can try. and all i want right now is to move, find a nice job, and have a kitty kat. ill do what i can. i dont want to hurt anymore. i dont want to stay in this town any longer. i know there is more for me. the truth is that im still just a little afraid as i work toward this goal. and my job makes me miserable. but it doesnt have to be forever! ive posted about this before. ive made improvement but nothing massive yet. its never linear. getting better takes time and has been such a hard journey buti cant be hard on myself because i have not gotten to a new country within a few months. also realizing the times i lurk this website i feel so upset, unless its ot/g. thats an issue of my own but struggling to abandon it completely because its nice to learn and vent and read what other women say. ah, maybe its a home in a way. i guess if i leave it i can just stick to literature by myself and come for reference.
he sounds like a manchild. get out before you waste more time, you were completely considerate and deserve better. spoiler for blogging my dad is exactly like this, my mom has been trapped for 20 years and is finally divorcing him.
don't be fooled, it won't get better.
Reminds me of my ex. One time he was gone for hours, so I ate. He got back and was pissed that I didn't wait for him and even his mom thought he was being retarded.
He doesn't like or respect you OP you should dump him. He sees you as an extension of himself/subordinate instead of your own person with your own needs. Normal couples recognize they won't eat every meal together. If he cared about you he'd be glad you had food because you're working late, he'd be worried about your health. But all he can think about is himself and his hunger. He will never put you first in any situation ever, but he will expect you to always consider him before you consider yourself.
men: "ugh, women are so emotional and petty and childish"
I would say dump him. If you like him a lot still you could try asking him to make you both a meal so you can eat together and see if he steps up. If he doesn't, definitely leave him because he's just tormenting you over petty bullshit.
He should be able to express his "emotional needs" without pouting like a toddler. If he's feeling lonely and bonding over a meal is important to him then he can do the work of cooking and planning instead of expecting it to magically happen when you are obviously busy with work.
File: 1670607283421.jpg (61.17 KB, 526x526, mushroom.jpg)
Today I'm driving 5 hours to go clean out my dead mom's hoarder house all by myself, for as long as it takes. Kill me, nonnies.
This is a way too long personal rant with no point. But I still crave the attention of posting it.
I guess I've always been the shitty and antisocial one. I regret so so much I've done but I feel so helpless. Everything I do just leads to another failure and right now I've resorted to doing absolutely nothing. I'm a depressed wreck that spends all day online. People write me and I'm too much of an asshole to answer. They're all nice to me but I still detest them, maybe I always did. I guess that's just my narcissism talking but I feel so disconnected from everyone and everything. Maybe it's an internet addiction that's been festering for years? I just know that people stray away from me and who am I to judge. I make promises I don't keep to make them happy, I spend my days alone. I am not talking anymore, just rambling. I don't listen because my attention span is fucked, I've grown quiet, I'm annoyed by the sound of my voice and the dumb things I am saying. This is all shit. I've not been like this before. Others at university are so nice to me, all the time and I answer with total bullshit. I want to die sometimes. I currently live with my parents and I sometimes think I'm going to kill myself once they're gone. I am a burden to them, I am way too lazy to act. I feel like I can't do it anymore.
I miss people but there's no way I can actually connect. I'm so fucking shallow and everyone will see. I put up a front and hate myself. And I hate others because they won't look past my act, and if someone does i recoil and never speak to them again because they see my for my asshole self. I can't even write a comprehensible post anymore, I feel so disconnected. I just spend all my time online googling symptoms, wallowing in pity. I miss my fucking ex, I miss fucking high school and I know that sounds pathetic. Whenever I get the chance to think about myself I just start crying. I don't recognize myself in the mirror anymore. I'm 22 this is the time to live happily and make friends and change something not to fucking stay inside and in bed all the fucking time. I'm so angry and sad, I regret so much. I've wasted my life online for some simple pleasure when I could have done something good for once. I guess I should do something but it's too much. It's just too much and I feel like I'm too good to do something. It's just arrogance. It's all ego it's all shit. It's garbage, I am garbage. I've pushed people away for so long that Ive forgotten how to get close to them again. I am a shallow nothing. I am neglecting my studies, I am disrespectful to everyone. I want to die but I don't because I'm too proud. I just want to make people feel bad. I feel so behind because these things should have been worked out by the time you're like 12 or 10 or even younger and I'm stuck in this autistic, covertly narcissistic view of myself. I'm a person who no one can gain anything from. I'm more like a dog or a piece of furniture. I imagine myself being better than everyone but I have nothing to show for it. Proof being that I'm on this website laughing at cows while I'm the biggest one myself. I don't share details on my life because I couldn't bear the judgment of others. I've started reading The Fall by camus and I am the kind of person he talks about. Ive stopped reading because I've felt so personally attacked even though it's just a book. A book can't fucking hurt me. I just want people to see me for the horrid mess that I am. Someone fucking kill me.
File: 1670612215012.jpg (21.11 KB, 556x551, 37a3vk.jpg)
I posted about chrismas lottery at our work in the previous thread >>1427429
So we had it today, I know it's childish to be so sad about it but I'm really upset about my present and it's like the metaphor for my life, I never get anything adequate to the effort I put into doing something for someone else I guess
I spent 50 euro on my present, I went to a different town to buy this guy a gifset from Legend of Zelda and a 3D poster with Link and I also ordered Watchmen comic book because I knew he never read it and he would really like it. And I didn't do it to show off, I genuinely wanted to make someone happy, to see their reaction etc.
And basically everyone got some actually functional or really cute presents except for me. Some people got so much pretty stuff it definitely costed more than 30 euro (30 euro was the cut off for presents), like some girl got an aroma diffuser, air refresher, a bunch of cosmetics and a cute unicorn piggy bank, some guy got two cool board games, like the base game and an extension, and I know these cost more than 40 euro. Meanwhile I just got a bunch of sweets, pair of socks and a mug, and some micron pens for drawing and that's basically the only thing I'm happy about, but they cost like 12 euro. The funniest thing is I got it from a girl who's supposedly my 'friend' but also likes to bully me from time to time, talks about everyone behind their backs and my therapist suggested she may have some degree of narcissistic PD kek. She asked me before what I would want to get and I was talking about scrabble or some lego set, like you can buy some small cute sets for like 30-35 euro already. Damn I would even prefer some nice cosmetics over what I've got. I know that no one is forced to spend more than 30 euro if that was the cut off, but if it was me, like if I had to buy a present for her, I would definitely buy her something for more than 30 euro. I won't even mention she earns more money than me. From what I've seen, I really got the shittiest present of them all. It was really awkward, to sit there with 15 people at the table, everyone opening their presents and talking about them, and I was just sitting there quietly, just smiling awkwardly. Sometimes I feel like I really don't deserve anything nice
I had some hopes for this lottery because for me that's basically the only chance to get any presents from anyone, I work abroad and I can't go home for christmas, at home I don't have any family close enough to give me anything for christmas anyway, and here I don't have anyone close enough to give me something for my birthday, or anything
tldr but if life is so shit it can only go up, stop feeling sorry for yourself and take control of your life.
my worst year was being 22, my best was 24
I'm so sorry nonnie
. This has happened to me twice and it is the absolute worst feeling to have no thought put into your gift when you put so much time and money on other's gifts. I would truly recommend not participating next year, it only leads to disappointment. Instead, take the money and buy yourself something nice. It's not as good, but at least it prevents the crushing disappointment.
File: 1670617165271.jpg (34.17 KB, 425x503, 22e817140c804c0c81609de271720c…)
Thank you anons, yeah it's the worst feeling. I'm sorry you had to experience it too, but I'm glad someone here understands me. I'm too weak willed to refuse to participate I think, our department is quite small and I would feel really weird being the only person to say no, they would look at me badly and I already have problems with fitting in. Our manager is really fixated on having this 'young dynamic super team' where everyone likes each other and stuff. I hope that in a year from now I won't even work there. That's my new year's wish lol
Yeah I'm gonna buy myself some cool lego set and calico critters and I'm gonna enjoy them
this happens to me too even though it would be really easy to get me a gift if they knew my interests. however, I do not share my interest at work so no real surprise how that works out for secret santa. I still like giving gifts so I always participate. I have fun by analyzing what they get me and imagining why they chose it. I love it when it's a candle or something that means they have absolutely no fucking idea lol (it's like yes! you'll never know what retarded shit I like, i haven't let it slip yet and I never will
I'm jealous of my friends who have good relationships with their parents. My friend told me that her mom apologized to her after she made her upset. I have never, in my 30 years of life, ever heard my mother say the words "I'm sorry". My parents have never apologized to me, it feels like they're incapable of having genuine conversations like adults.
I've tried for years to 'sit down and talk' with them, to no avail. After any of my mother's knock-down, drag-out screaming meltdowns, nothing is ever resolved, and when I want to sit down and talk about it my parents yell again to "stop being so sensitive and focusing on the negative, just move on like an adult" and they pretend like nothing ever happened.
My friends share funny conversations and inside jokes they have with their parents, while mine are just cold, angry and bitter with no sense of humor. I'm always walking on eggshells around my mother, she only acts "fake nice" and uncomfortably hyper and manic when I visit with my boyfriend or friends for holidays.
I’ve accepted that this is just the way it is but it makes me sad sometimes. I can’t imagine having a genuine, healthy relationship with a parental figure and I so wish that wasn’t the case. I feel so lost and alone sometimes, like I can feel my inner child’s fear and loneliness. I genuinely can't imagine what it must be like to look forward to visiting your parents and I wish it wasn't this way.
I feel your pain. I'm not in healthcare but I'm broke and it sucks.
I keep seeing these dumb TikTok/IG videos "My day at work at [Big Tech company]" where girls younger than me post videos of themselves wearing flawless, expensive outfits, strolling through a big city, showing up at work to grab a free smoothie at the in-house smoothie bar, then 'lunch meetings' and drinks at an expensive sushi restaurant, and then 'more meetings!' with 10 other attractive people in a beautiful room with huge windows and picturesque views of the city, and then they say "what a long day at work!" and have even more drinks and dinner at the trendiest restaurant in town with everyone. Meanwhile, educators and healthcare professionals are getting paid like dirt.
It makes me so furiously jealous EVEN THOUGH I'm pretty sure it's mostly bullshit…but seriously, where are all of these jobs where you just hang out with your work friends, writing e-mails on a rooftop drinking smoothies all day?
This is really weird to talk about. I was never physically abused as a child/teenager, just emotionally, and neglected a lot. My mom is very manipulative and possessive, and my dad is very distant.
I'm in my late 20s now and since I moved out 7 years ago, mom has become kind of handsy. She's always brushing her hand against my breasts, rubbing her legs against mine, hugging me from beihind and putting her head on the crook of my neck, etc. It makes me so fucking uncomfortable, like it legit makes me want to puke. She never even hugged me when I was younger, now I feel like she's trying to seduce me. What the hell is this? Visiting her and her family has become such a nightmare because of this, but if I don't she guilt trips me, and if I visit my dad's she goes super sayian in manipulation and guilting terms. I wish I had the guts to cut her off completely.
File: 1670621770347.jpeg (243.03 KB, 2048x1677, 98EDD3F5-D543-4140-9A2E-48CD39…)
Anyone else have just gotten bored by humans with age?I’m 31 but I wish I had that youthful excitement for life I had when I was 8-22. I wanted to meet new friends, I wanted to have new experiences with relationships, I wanted to talk to people, I wanted to share my hobbies and feelings with people. But after years of rejection, friends not giving a shit about my problems, friends using my insecurities against me, being used for sex I really have no interest in people and I’ve grown to find them boring. I don’t want you to know about my favorite song because then you’d judge me for it and I don’t want to know your favorite song because then you’re going to think I’m a try hard or copying you if I like it too. I don’t want to talk to you about my feelings and I don’t want to be touched or have sex ever again. In the past I couldn’t get friends, sex and relationships but now that I can I am so fucked up and numb that I don’t even want them. Which makes life lonely because I want human connection but humans bore me.
She's touch starved and using you. Unfortunately I still live with my mom saving up a bunch so I can leave in style for my birthday in 2023
and nowadays she's always asking for hugs and it makes me physically uncomfortable. I'm well aware of the fact that she loathed my existence as a child and now that she's older and lonely she's looking for a new energy source.
Thank you so much for writing this anon. I’ve been crying for a while over this and other things tonight. It feels a bit better hearing that it’s normalish. I’m sorry that you went through this too, the guilt is terrible. Please give your puppy a pet from me!
Seriously thank you again anon, you didn’t have to be so kind to a randomer but your reply has been of real comfort to me tonight, I’m in your debt.
I already had issues that made me wanna kms but if it omicron worsened my physical health it makes so much more sense. I was off my psych drugs months in by the time I caught it
Beyond what was going on in my personal life my health took a gargantuan nosedive contributing to my misery that made me want to kms and I can still feel a lot of physical exhaustion in my body
I never catch a whiff of mild flus but I occasionally contract something that feels like it's going to kill me. Had severe pneumonia in high school. I already went through this circlejerk. can't believe it's happening again
ayrt and yes those videos make me seethe even though I know they shouldn't. Where's the crying in the car and existential crises? Not even having time to eat lunch and squeezing it in while filling out paperwork? I was talking to my friend who worked in a tech company and she even agreed with me, which was validating. That 50% of those jobs (at least at her company) could be eliminated and it wouldn't have an impact on society, meanwhile teachers and healthcare workers aren't glamorous jobs that make a lot of money and are understaffed because of that- and people are suffering for that.>>1439046
Thank you nona. I'm sorry that we're kind of in the same spot, but I feel guilty feeling this way sometimes and I just had to let it off my chest. I know I chose this job and if I was really in desperate need for money then I could have just gone into another field so I shouldn't complain. I want to work in healthcare because I like feeling like I'm contributing to society, but literally that's the only positive and everything else about this sucks. I know what it's like and if you're trying your best then that's what counts. We aren't superhuman and it can't be expected that we'll be doing our best work given the circumstances we're in. I wouldn't blame you if you ever decided to switch careers, but I know we're both working hard and doing our best even if it doesn't always feel like it.
File: 1670625254006.jpg (29.18 KB, 431x431, c802084a23b11f3f8d77fecd6f78f3…)
I wish I didn't move around so much as a kid. I've always wanted to have a years old friendship since childhood, but since I moved out of my home town states away at age 10, I didn't really have the ability to keep contact with any of my friends from elementary school. From then on it just kept happening, I make some good friends in middle school, then BAM turns out we're moving to a different COUNTRY by the time eight grade ends, and keeping contact with them wasn't very easy either. By then I was socially awkward af and making friends, especially in a completely different country in a different continent, became extremely difficult for me. I only stayed there for a year, but even when I moved back to the US, (also in a completely different state from the previous two) I was just alone. Being a new sophomore when everyone else in my grade already developed their own friend groups freshman year didn't help. So basically, since middle school I haven't been able to make any real friends, not even now that I'm in college, and I just think things wouldn't be like this if I hadn't ended up moving so much.
File: 1670626664091.gif (265.91 KB, 560x315, zoom head girl.gif)
. I had a mild confrontation earlier today and I feel uneasy and nervous. I'm in my thirties. Why are we like this.
I mean this in the nicest way possible, but you have to know that people don't stop being ugly when they change their pronouns.
More importantly, being ugly isn't a crime.
File: 1670627232487.jpg (247.23 KB, 1170x2299, mc-wtf.jpg)
I want to a-log every time an ugly moid or a troon likes my profile on Tinder.
Worrying that somehow you already are or will magically become a pedo (when you aren't) IS an OCD symptom. I have it sometimes too nonnie
. You are not alone. I used to get really cagey and stupid when my friends would call our adult husbandos "boys" instead of "men" because it felt evil.
File: 1670627800997.png (413.83 KB, 624x692, a604rad7j4651.png)
I've been feeling very bad mentally recently and I don't really have any reason to. I don't even know what this vent is about but I just feel like I'm rolling around in an endless dark tunnel. Nothing's awful but nothing's good. I almost wish shit was as bad as it was when I was a child just to feel something again. (Almost.)
File: 1670629729571.jpg (24.59 KB, 328x500, 41bXnNmExFL._AC_SY780_.jpg)
Different: Gender Through the Eyes of a Primatologist, he also whines about radfems in every foreword he provides for other books
File: 1670629882445.png (324.72 KB, 700x686, 1659674730576.png)
NO NOOOO out of all people, why him??? Why do I want to fuck him??????
File: 1670630383629.jpg (432.23 KB, 1080x1813, Screenshot_20221209-185846_Fir…)
Yes, brain fog and other cognitive impairments are a symptoms of Long COVID. This the main reason I'm still trying really hard to not catch it, I'm afraid to become disabled. https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/brain-fog-memory-and-attention-after-covid-19-202203172707
ayrt but goddamn I already had bipolar brain fog no wonder it worsened
I hate my life
He is the most annoying egotistical pathetic little man I have ever seen and every thing he does makes me feel pity and disgust. But it somehow triggers a deep primal urge within me like I want nothing more than to bully him until he cries and take out all of my sexual frustration on him.
But I can't and I wont because it would literally ruin my life if I even tried to initiate anything. God I fucking hate when my hormones overwhelm me and seemingly take complete control over my brain and I get like this
File: 1670632284444.png (920.62 KB, 984x900, 1651103584273.png)
, thanks for that. I think I really needed to hear that today. It sucks that such an important field is so undervalued, but we're in it because we wanna help ppl and well somebody has to do it.
File: 1670635785511.png (5.36 MB, 2133x2466, FiALgEqagAA10hS.png)
I seem to keep making things worse for me. Aside from not taking care of my poor health (which frankly I don't really know how to help aside from maybe changing my eating habits but that has proven to be a difficult task since I don't have any other vices in life), I keep isolating myself. I'm going to end up genuinely alone if I keep ignoring people, acting indifferent to them even though I do care for them, but I absolutely cannot bring myself to act on it, I don't have the energy or will for it, and I definitely wouldn't be able to fake it either.
Maybe it's depression, maybe I'm stressed because of my deteriorating health and my circumstances which are only being made harder because of myself, like how I keep spending money unnecessarily even though I 100% will need to find a job soon. I can't tell if my depression has been made worse by how I don't really talk to anyone or connect with anyone anymore, because everytime I do, which is seldom, I feel so light and relieved but I always go back to isolation because I can't maintain any of it in the long-term. I can at least be grateful that the current people in my life understand that and are patient, but they're distant too so it feels so lonely.
Part of me wants to blame my most recent close friend for some of it, as if her negative and isolating mentality has rubbed off on me (though I was already more or less "friendless" before becoming close to her lol), because I seem to be following her footsteps into a life of complete isolation with nothing but myself. And it's not that I despise myself or anything, but it drives me crazy not to hear what others have to say so I can't stand to sit with just my thoughts. I never share any of my opinions or thoughts or even interests to anyone unless it's some funny post I find online, all because I can't trust myself or any of what I say anymore, and I feel like it might be a result of that last friendship I had (she's an extremely logical person and I'm nowhere near that) even though I also learned so much from it.
When I was younger my excuse was being insecure and having social anxiety (even though my social life back then was infinitely better than what it is now), now I'm too depressed and genuinely tired 24/7 for any of it even though it's making me achingly lonely, so I look forward to see what my next excuse will be.
File: 1670637613367.jpg (23.9 KB, 512x384, Er4wDV7W8AEBmsQ.jpg)
I had a psychiatrist that I really liked, he was the first doctor who ever talked to me like a person and not an insane retard. He would call me back the same day I called him, which I've never ever in my life had another doctor do. I've been really sick since I was little, so I go to doctors all the time. I've lived my life in and out of hospitals for physical illness, but when I hit my twenties, it all just finally caved in on me. It realyl is hard to be sick your whole life. And if people can't visibly identify you as sick, they don't care if you are. You look fine, so you must be.
My wonderful psychiatrist moved on to better and brighter things, and I'm really glad for him because he deserved better than that shitty hospital. But now I'm stuck with this psych RN who treats me like a liar. She took me off of everything he had me on and changed my diagnoses from what he had written.
I'm taking her drugs, all of the fucking horrible meds she puts me on make me feel so much worse. They make me feel crazier than I did on nothing at all.
I get so angry I punch out the drywall and then start tearing it out in chunks with my hands and then my teeth. My gums bleed all the time.
She says I'm lying and that if I'm not, I need to go to the ward so they can "stabilize" me faster than her meds can. I said how are they going to do that? And she said they'll fucking strap me down and inject me with calm-down drugs. And I laughed and laughed and laughed and said, "You took me off of xanax, which was meant for emergencies to calm me down, because you didn't like my real doctor giving me something I could get high on, because you're convinced that poor people are all drug abusers, but you're fine with me being forcibly restrained and turned into a shutter island zombie with outdated drugs like haldol and and whatever else you can shoot-up an unwilling sick person with? You think that will make me feel better? Safer?" and laughed and laughed and laughed some more. And then I reminded her that when I did go to her hospital's psychward, they refused me insulin because no one would believe I was diabetic, and they wound up releasing me early because I was in DKA so bad, my mouth was blue, I couldn't stop puking, I couldn't walk, and I wound up pissing myself. I told her you have my file open right now, look at it. You think going through that again is going to make me less crazy? No, you don't. You don't care if you kill me as long as it makes me shut up and stop bothering you.
I'm back to cookie-monstering the drywall. There's no help. I tried for 27 years. There's no help for you if you're already a piece of shit worthless sick person. You're only allowed one illness, mental or physical, you can't have both.
I know about transference and fair point it could be that but what if it actually is just me liking him? I heard transference lessens over time but I've just gotten more attached to him over time. We get along really well and we have similar opinions about things, we agree about almost everything and he tells personal stories about his life sometimes and it's weird how similar we are despite being so different. If he wasn't my therapist and just some rando I would still have a crush on him just based of his personality alone. What if I tell him about liking him and it ruins the therapeutic relationship we have? How would I even phrase it to him?>>1439332
Thanks that actually makes me feel a lot better, any idea how to make it go away though? Preferably without telling him. It makes it hard to have sessions with him and it makes me sad constantly wanting to be with him but not being able too.
>>1439365>I'm in my mid 20's and he's in his mid 60's
Oh baby, please don't tell him.
Wouldn't it be better to have a harmless crush? Wouldn't you be devastated to find out that what you thought was a good guy was actually a predator?
Sometimes not knowing is better, this is one of those cases.
Lmao this reminded me of a time when I was 17 and I had a huge crush on my teacher who was in his early 50s at that time, and I got the courage to tell him about it and be like DUDE lets date after I graduate high school so no one will find out, you're the love of my life
and he was like kid you're pretty and smart and all but that's not happening, we can never exist as a man and a woman
. And I cried like a bitch and went home lol
God, I'm so, so, SO thankful to him that he rejected me that day and he wasn't a predator
File: 1670640264915.gif (3.16 MB, 314x200, 468768234.gif)
me when I think of how much of an abusive rage fueled moid my father was. How fucked up it was how he treated me even as a small child, how much he traumatized my siblings and I. How he cheated on and abused my mother. How my family to this very day lives in denial & upholds him as this amazing, loving father and husband who was just ~troubled~
No I won't tell him, I can't even imagine how awkward that would be or how I would phrase it. And if he was weirded out or it changed our dynamic I would be heartbroken to lose him as a therapist because he's like a mentor to me as well and I'm hoping to keep him in my life for as long as possible. He's even said he wants to continue helping me even after retirement so I really really don't want to jeopardize things between me and him. I just wish this crush would dissipate a bit because it is making it hard to be around him.>>1439368
I really don't think he would do anything, he would probably just be uncomfortable around me from then on. He's really professional and well known in my city so I doubt he would do anything to tarnish his career and reputation, or the therapeutic relationship between me and him. He's unmarried though, he and his first and only wife separated about 10 years ago. It would be easier to not like him if he were still married, I kind of wish he would get a girlfriend so he'd feel off limits to me completely. But I'm not going to tell him I'm just going to bury my feelings as much as I can and hope they go away.>>1439387
Lol I appreciate the gentleness of your question nona. I've had a couple boyfriends before but haven't dated for like 5 years. I've had some nice guys in my life but also some shitty ones. My relationship with my dad is okay, we're more like acquaintances though. I don't have any major trauma from adult men or anything if that's what you were wondering about, I honestly just like older men a lot of the time, granted not usually this much older but still it's not too unusual for me.
File: 1670641093993.webm (613.77 KB, 640x640, 1659107997429398.webm)
My toxic retarded bitch boss had a conversation with us about football and someone mentioned Messi and she said she hates him because he seems so fake and not like a real person and she didn't even want to talk about him and I got so pissed off because Messi is clearly an autist and anyone who knows how autists act can see it from his mannerisms, moves, overall behavior and awkwardness and autistic stare. Yes, Lionel Messi radiates autism. He does things he cringes about days after he did them. But this dumb fucking normie bitch, like the normie she is, assumes that anyone who doesn't behave according to the norm is pretending to be someone else/faking/being two faced. My family members accused me of lying and faking all the time because I wasn't looking at them most of the time, and I'm just an autist. Also, today Argentina defeated Netherlands and is now in semifinals of the World cup and I hope this slightly overweight bitch is seething right now and eating donuts which will ruin her workout routine. So yeah fuck normies and fuck Messi haters
File: 1670641748191.jpeg (83.57 KB, 600x560, mewtual-support-hugs.jpeg)
We are in the saaaame boat. Sending you hugs nonnies.
File: 1670644084452.jpeg (49.29 KB, 720x900, D1dvoLhXQAcFAwJ.jpeg)
This is not exactly a vent but idk where to write it, but I must express myself somewhere: I have a male online friend that seemed to have developed some fetish of wearing female lingerie and he's been posting these pictures in instagram, and while part of me finds it a bit cute, another part of me is violently disgusted, it's a very primal disgust but also a rationalized one, I can't get out of my head Solana's words in the SCUM manifesto, everything about men naturally desiring to be everything women are, and I CONSTANTLY see it happening and it makes me sick, extremely sick to my stomach. I can't even say which kind of moid disgusts me more, those violent overcompensating ones, or those who wantonly emulate women for their own pleasure. (Inb4 the emulation of women is also overcompensation about them knowing they'll never get to be one, but you know what I mean) I just think males are animals, really, and one is lucky to find a moid that you can keep calm by treating them like a pet.
same anon to say she does a lot of work around the home, keeps it nice with cleaning and the rest, and has many illnesses that prevent her from working. i come home to creative home made and delicious dinner and lunch whenever i get off.
it's not that she's lazy im just desperate to have some consistent time to myself.
i am so incredibly pissed because i found out yesterday evening that my old, piece of shit university roommate was able to sneak and place a charge onto my room even though she no longer lives with me. she bought some 18 dollar breakfast service in the building that i never use so it was really blatantly obvious it was her that did it. thank god the ra's who are in the building told me that my bill was a little higher than normal when i went to get some snacks, otherwise, i would have thought it was something i bought and overlooked as i have been busy with finals. i asked for a record of all the payments linked to the room for the past 30 days just to make sure and yup, here's this fucking charge that sticks out like a sore thumb because it is something i never use.
i just wish she would leave me alone because i don't speak to her, i have blocked her everywhere so that we don't accidentally text or message one another, and i haven't seen her since the day she moved out after her and her shitty friends did some backstabbing bullshit and tried to get me kicked out of the university. one of her friends was eavesdropping on a conversation i was having with some people where we were venting about college life, and they took the things i said about how angry i was with her and tried to spin it to make it seem like i was this violent rage filled negro who was going to shank her in her sleep.
i just feel way too old for this kind of drama. i will be 28 in a few months and i really don't find this kind of childish shit amusing. all they are doing is proving my suspicions about her and showing that i was right to go to the university to complain about her being a fucking bitch. plus, i always had this weird feeling that she was the kind of person who would steal your credit cards or go through your purse to look for cash when you weren't looking, so i never left my wallet laying around where she could take it. even if i was going for a walk in the park i would put it in a little backpack and take it with me. i really debated about emailing the university again because i feel embarrassed to tell them what new stupid shit has been going on, but there's only one more week left before all the visiting students have to leave, and i don't want her trying to charge more shit to my room thinking she can bounce and leave me with a bunch of shit i didn't ask for. we've had new people on rotation in the building, so i imagine she snuck and used my name as that day in particular i remember as i went to pick up a package, and the girl working the front desk was not someone i knew.
sorry this is so long but i am just really, incredibly tired of these fucking cunts. i want to believe that it was a mistake but all her fat ass does is eat so there's no doubt in my mind that it was her.
I know no nonny
cares about me reporting back on it, but nothing happened! We mostly spent the evening holding hands and talking. Being able to actually take everything step by step is so new to me I get confused, I'm so used to getting caught up in others pace or have guys get extremely clingy because of the myth that nerdy girls are rare. I have only been able to take it slow like this once 10 years ago, which was ruined by a "friend" spreading the rumor that we were already fucking like rabbits and he thought I was the one behind it. So I'm both happy and nervous.
We are like 5 people, i work at my mom's company (no judging please, she expects more from me than from everyone else) and it's not her, we have three other coworkers but they all work remotely, two of them are women, one moid, but he is way older, always been normal, never creepy and i don't think it's him and i very rarely talk to any clients, like once every few months and I can't stop wondering who the fuck knows my first and last name plus my work address. The things were sent through some courier company, i was so shocked i didn't ask who sent it before the courrier guy left
Yeah, i was sure someone here would be able to relate, in movies it kind of sounds cute but in reality it's creepy as hell.
My mom is the only one talking with clients and i have already asked her and she said she didn't know anything and she said she thought it was cute.
This happened on Thursday and still no one has said anything about sending the stuff, Friday i wasn't at work and the office was empty and I can't stop thinking about it.
This shit only happens in movies, like wtf, I'm not a flirt, that kind of stuff never happened to me before, why me
I would expect the stalker to come face to face to be angry at me, this is way to nice from him, but who knows.. worst part is he knows my work address (we were friends before he showed his crazy) so it could be him >>1439645
Yeah, i didn't acknowledge it anywhere else, this is the only place i shared it publicly bc i want to get validation for my feelings - being creeped out because i knew some women would sadly relate.
>>1439652>worst part is he knows my work address
well that seals it for me
Sorry you have to deal with that. Why does your mom think it's cute though, does she not know you've dealt with a stalker before?
File: 1670667919076.png (5.16 KB, 273x126, 1669617986605.png)
I have a fever and it's causing me to throw up anything I try to drink, to the point of causing painful cramps due to my stomach already being empty.
Haven't eaten normal food for at least a day and a half now and that's definitely not helping the situation.
I just briefly mentioned about the stalker to her, but i don't think she understands how scary the whole thing is. She probably even forgot about me telling her about it. I love her very much, but she doesn't always pay attention to stuff i tell her or thinks I'm overreacting. She told me she will take the bottle of wine if I don't want it. >>1439656
Stay hydrated Nona, i hope you feel better soon
Ask someone to buy you oral rehydration salts, if you feel too bad to go outside and buy them alone. I remember it made me want to vomit less than normal water. Just in case, if you can't even drink this, get pepto bismol. How high exactly is your fever? I remember having some sort of poisoning that gave me almost 104°F (40°C) fever and I was vomiting so hard, also having watery diarrhes at the same time, I wasn't even able to stand up, and it lasted for like 3 hours, my friend called an ambulance and they gave me some injections for nausea. I don't know where you live and if calling for an ambulance costs you something, but if it gets really, really bad, you should call it. I also remember that after going back home I had high fever again and stuff like paracetamol and ibuprofen didn't help me, and I only managed to nanage my fever with metamizole, but I know it's not legal in all countries, like USA. It may be quite toxic
if you take it too often.
File: 1670670826371.png (112.72 KB, 320x260, 1664326379410.png)
>tiny boobs, big hips
is there even a worse combination? I can't even put on weight to make my boobs bigger because then my ass will get 2 x times bigger. my bmi is 19.7 so I'm not fat, it's just shitty proportions. it's hard for me to buy a bra because the size that should've been theoretically good for me is too tight on my chest but the cups are slightly too big for my small tits. If I get a bigger bra the cups will be totally too big, if I get a smaller one it will be too tight on my chest. buying any kind of pants is also extremely hard because even if they fit perfectly on my legs, they always gape in the back and it looks bad and using a belt doesn't make it look better, it only makes me look fatter
File: 1670671863116.png (170.58 KB, 1200x1800, 8872ecf0d6d3a7810eabfb39d5807f…)
>>1439674>Acting like pear shape isn't one of the more desired body shapes
'is there a worse combination' come on now, nona
If you have to think too much about it then I’d say it’s not right to have children. I’m the same as you are, when I was younger I thought I would have children in ten years, then when that time has passed I started thinking just 5 years more, 5 years more…now I’m in my 30s and I’m almost sure I’ll never have children.
I love my independence and the freedom I have without having a child and I know if I’d be a mother all the love and the good things probably would compensate the “bad” side I see of motherhood but I just don’t see myself being a mother.
A few years ago I had to think about it pretty hard because I was (and still am) in a serious relationship and I felt pressured because at some point people expect you to have children or to get married and I just…didn’t feel like it. Even now, if I have to picture myself with another person who could want children, I guess I wouldn’t do it either.
I had a pretty traumatic life and I have some coworkers that for the exact same reason wanted to be mothers to give their children a better life than they had, that’s my motive for not wanting children in the first place hahaha.
Those women want children for totally egoistic reason (well, all people do). Imagine creating an entire human being because you
had a bad childhood and you want to cope by proving yourself you can be a better parent than your shitty mom/dad. They should just get therapy.
File: 1670677467578.png (234.01 KB, 427x441, tumblr_29d6bc98b937b4945ecba8d…)
pros of spending the holidays at my parents place;
+free food (i am very out of money and not getting more until early january)
+dont have to fight with my mom about how im terrible and ungrateful for not spending time with them
+theyre lonely and not doing well so being there is quite literally the least i can do
+if there are power outages they have supplies to get through it (i dont)
-having to spend two+ weeks trapped alone with them makes me literally want to die
-where they live has terrible public transportation and i cant drive so im trapped
-their house is falling apart and i feel out of control trapped in a decaying reminder of the worst years of my life
-watching from the sidelines as my parents, whom i do love dearly, let their lives fall apart while refusing to admit anything is wrong and rejecting any of my attempts to help them and getting angry at me for trying
-they hate each other and barely even talk to each other (outside of yelling and bickering) and expect me to be a messenger between them, which is a shitty fucking position to be in
I think exactly the same. One of my coworkers is divorcing after 5 years and with a child who’s just 7 months old. She dreamt about her perfect family because her parents divorced when she was a teen and they hated each other so much. Now she discovered that her husband cheated on her for almost two years.
For me, the worst part is that she will always have a connection with him even if they get along well, she tries so hard to keep respecting him because he’s the father of her child.
File: 1670677653134.gif (1.26 MB, 498x498, controlmypc-cat.gif)
why am i so fucking retarded. i just went to let my cat in as he was sat on the driveway, and as i opened the door to let him in my neighbour was getting into his car although faced away from me. i shouted "hi!" to him because i assumed he heard me calling for the cat and i thought he looked at me for a second.
he turned around and just looked at me strangely. i feel like a fucking retard for shouting hi at a man who didn't even know i was there probably KEK i was just trying to be friendly though, and thought that he saw me. oh man. why do i fail at social interactions so much. it's getting worse as i'm getting older, like i cannot keep the mask on anymore.
>>1439748 >One of my coworkers is divorcing after 5 years and with a child who’s just 7 months old.
Diff anon but I know too many women who have divorced when the baby is barely a year old. I got married pretty young myself and it didn't work out. 5 years of dating and 2 whole years of marriage before he very suddenly decided he didn't want to be married after all. People will say "the signs, didn't you see the signs" but no I didn't. I was blindsided by it. There were no signs of us breaking down. Its like he just woke up one day and decided it without ever indicating anything was up.
At least we didn't have kids. I can't get over how men will want to make babies and then they're back on tinder within the year. No attempts at working on a marriage. Easy for them to just move on and take the baby at the weekend.
If there's such a thing as "mental self-harm" I think I've been unconsciously doing it these past weeks: doomscrolling, checking sites full of shit I don't like, unintentionally re-traumatizing myself…I'm starting to have random flashbacks again, my mind seems to be fixated on those memories all of the sudden which is very unfortunate since Christmas is near, I feel pretty unstable and depressed, powerless even. I remember all those moments so clearly, so vividly, I can still feel the pain, so unbearable, it made me go crazy I couldn't even hear my own thoughts, I want to forget and I want all those people to die, all of them. The reason i hate violence is because I don't want to be like them, yet, sometimes I wish I could get revenge and go berserk on everyone that wronged me, they got their way with me and I want justice, they knew I was the type to not defend themselves, they knew I was vulnerable to their tricks and took advantage, the world punished my kindness with cruelty so what's the point of holding myself back? The next retard who fucks around is definitely going to find out
File: 1670680498964.jpg (43.25 KB, 564x564, 83d97f71ec91cb4a1f0ea84b1cedef…)
I want to have children but I know all my friends would laugh at me for wanting this, plus I'm a lesbian and I could never fuck a moid. I want to raise a daughter and give her a happy childhood, I know the world is so fucked but I would give her a safe place where she could be happy, be creative, learn about the world. I would teach her all I know and marvel at her intelligence and unique insight. I would support her dreams, goals, every path she decides to take. I want to see her accept her unique temperament and be confident in herself. Too bad it's never going to happen and I'm deathly afraid of pregnancy. IVF is expensive. Adoption is also too expensive, it's practically impossible to adopt in my country and I would probably be denied because homophobia. I would rather kill myself than get a surrogate. I will never have any of what I described. I never thought I'd feel this way but it hit me recently, it's not baby fever because I think babies are ugly and annoying as hell kek, I would still take care of it and give it everything I could. All my friends are pessimistic antinatalists who think children are literal demons who should be killed and while I do agree that children are weird and sociopathic at times, it's a natural part of growing up. Even if I somehow got a child, my friends would isolate me and mock me. I can't win. My girlfriend is fine with getting pregnant, but she holds the same anti children sentiment kek fuck me.
I keep trying to bait my boyfriend (God bless him) into drooling over other women or gawking about exes/previous sex experiences in order to purposely trigger
my eating disorder. He's too good to fall for it and it's almost weird dating someone who doesn't mentally torture me with my body image issues
I remember when I had fever I completely lost my appetite
Food just made me sick
I think you should send an email to everyone at work asking the one who did it to come forward, just say it like it is and that while it's a nice gesture you have had problems with a stalker and just need to know it's not him.
Ask your family as well to make sure it's not them. My uncle who I'm not that close to once sent me a message through work because my family has autist genes and he just didn't get that it wasn't really appropriate to do so lol it was very sweet though.
If no one comes forward assume it's the stalker and talk to your boss about safety concerns. Show people his picture if needed and make everyone aware of the situation, you don't have to deal with it alone.
File: 1670694160139.gif (1.71 MB, 245x167, tumblr_inline_nr1fbrQwaQ1qeou2…)
The cake that I was excited to make for the entire week didn't turn out as expected because I guess I added too much liquid to the dough and now it's a mushy mess and I'm sad and disappointed about this. At least the decoration looks cute.
did I write this and just forgot about it because… this is me. i am the toxic
File: 1670695154659.jpeg (61.24 KB, 671x499, D86C03EF-5455-427A-A356-89BFF5…)
i just don’t know how to make friends anymore. literally every friend I have I seem to have hardly anything in common with. when I try to make friends, they think it’s weird that I’m in an age gap relationship and that just makes things awkward for them. we can’t talk about school because I’m in the middle of a green card application and I literally can’t go to school. we can’t talk about meeting up somewhere because I can’t drive. even if I try to make friends my age, I just can’t relate to where they are in life because I’m somewhere totally different.
i’ve spent my entire life trying to be different from others and feeling smug about being bilingual but now that I AM different, I just don’t know what to do. scream into the void and wait for my application to get approved, I guess. I swear to god when I can drive, I’m going to work my ass off to become more social and make my life better.
File: 1670696885062.jpeg (189.22 KB, 1077x1077, EE5BB90C-003C-42A0-B51E-805A2E…)
I hate men moment #27 today
that is the "honor culture" we have here, similar cases happen with young boys and goats,
"If your son beat my son in a fight, then I'll have my family members kidnap and rape one of your brothers to get revenge"
this happened in a community not too far from where I used to live, you cannot comprehend how awful the culture is here
File: 1670700204488.jpeg (66.8 KB, 512x512, 83DCC5C2-0087-46D5-BC1A-F54C97…)
So I got COVID, yes I know getting COVID hasn't been the end of the world in the last couple of months and sure using a mask everywhere I go isn't unbearable but I have been doing some thinking, what if this was it? What if after graduating at 22 and feeling complete in life this is my final illness? I made my parents proud and I can't say I didn't do anything with my life, if I die in the following days, I'll be okay if my life ended on such a high note.
But my family has already planned to spend the holidays on Disney world and I'll be pissed if I missed that, so see you soon nonnies
File: 1670700462983.gif (162.04 KB, 500x266, tumblr_nkanuuiUPk1sgixyoo1_500…)
No-one is promised tomorrow & today is a gift.. enjoy the "present".
You'll be okay, anon.
Buy some vodka or something.
You're just going through a difficult time.
If you're meeting them in person ask them to make plans. Some people aren't good texters, myself included. I hate text conversations unless it's for a specific purpose rather than general conversation.
If these people you're trying to connect with are virtual, go out into the real world and try making friends. Meet ups can be frustrating, but at least you're doing something and putting yourself out there.
File: 1670708187656.jpg (59 KB, 563x600, 51dee47be805699137d6a816772911…)
Petty vent but any fancy clothing or outfits that aren't super casual or alt look weird on me. I don't know what happens but it just doesn't suit me. I just don't look polished enough or like it fits me. My hair texture is just a bit off and that makes it look messy, earrings make me look weird, sleek dresses or long gowns look bad on me. Idk if it's because I'm half-Native or what, I'm relatively white-passing but I guess not enough.
I look good in 90s alt clothes with the tattoo chokers and all, and maybe tomboyish sportswear, but I can't figure out what to do about my hair, makeup and overall style.
I'm actually losing sleep over it lmao. I don't want to look like a slob or dress like a teen.
File: 1670708198218.gif (1.96 MB, 540x960, 4fea807770.gif)
I be gettin mad at my mom and have to calm myself down by remembering she spent her early formative years chewing led paint chips, then her later childhood getting beaten with an extensions cord, then her preteens drinking beer mixed with mountain dew to impress the high schoolers she was hanging out with, then her teens miscarrying four babies, and then her early 20s starving cuz her first husband wouldn't let her have money for groceries while he was in Desert Storm.
This poor bitch didn't stand a fucking chance, I just have to give her whatever she wants cuz god damn. Nothing she does is her fault, she is literally insane and I'm lucky she never drowned me or smothered me with a pillow.
File: 1670713335660.jpeg (47.34 KB, 537x399, F2A435F6-9596-46CB-BD01-313C4D…)
feelsbad when you know you experience racism on lolcor. i mean picrel but it still hurts to know people on this website feel that way about me. like i can't help what others of my race do i'm not condoning it by being apart of them and being any race does not inherently mean you're prone to such and such behavior anyway. it's upsetting but i know it's only the internet and i'm the one responsible for reading anything but idk
No idea either. I guess it's something you only really notice when you have to deal with it yourself on a semi regular basis? A lot of people have no actual health issues beside the occasion cold or hangover and have no idea how being hospitalized or having regular appointments and tests works to begin with, if you add to this the fact that some doctors are incompetent or biased against female patients or non white patients it gets too abstract for some people to grasp.>>1440347
Yeah, her. I don't really pay attention to specific theories or whatever but I see her name all the time here and yet I never remember her name.
Probably because you could have been mistaken for >>>/m/198208
who rees about the 'fat subhuman jews in academia'.
There was some gross scrote brained shit in a thread I was in and I was really getting annoyed. I knew it was a outsider but I really expected more people to shout at them, but then I remembered what thread I was in and it's mostly dead.
Most the people doing racebaits are usually scrotes though
my sister is a fucking moron when it comes to romantic relationships. this guy she's talking to right now pulled a tantrum yesterday while she was at work and blew up her phone with all kinds of accusations regarding her friendship with an ex– all of which she's answered to and explained in length to him on more than one occasion prior–and even blocked her–which he's done more than three times now. he's apparently been cheated on in all of his previous relationships–small fucking wonder, that–is deeply insecure and emotionally manipulative, and all she wants to do, no matter how she's tried to explain it differently, is fix him because she's afraid of her time being wasted. like, god damn, he's hot and cold all the fucking time, he constantly has some fucking problem with her, and she thinks if she makes suggestions gently enough and points out how illogical his behavior is, he'll suddenly see the light and stop being a fuckwit. not to mention he's brought up "love" and moving in together when they haven't even met in person yet and haven't been talking more than a few months–not nearly long enough to warrant such a suggestion! girlie, he is literally handing you the red flag!! just drop the scrote already! there are more of them out there, better ones even, and far worthier of your time!!! quit digging your heels in!!! you're thirty and far too old to be acting like this!! grow up and stop subjecting yourself to this ugly behavior from a nothing moid!!! you're so much more than he is!!! he isn't worth all these chances you're giving him but you're so afraid of being alone, that you put up with being mistreated anyway!! i love you so much and everything i tell you is because love you, but you refuse to listen to me! you always want to talk about "having reason" but where the fuck is yours? you're self worth is nonexistent when you aren't with a man and you've never wondered why? god.
i'm so frustrated, nonnas, and i can't do a damn thing about it.
nta, you think "incompetence" to that degree would be allowed on a white woman?
it's proof that it's not just poor obese women get neglected, you can be healthy and wealthy and they'll still not give a shit about you
File: 1670715958599.jpg (60.81 KB, 1080x255, Screenshot_20221210-174030_New…)
Ok but what about all the young women who grew up with this game too you imbecile scrotum
God I don't know why I'm more upset than ever at this "video games are for boys" nonsense as an adult than when I was younger
In Serena's case, the doctors knew that she had blood clots in her lungs, then performed a fucking c-section on her, which is obviously a strenuous fucking surgery, then she started losing sensation in her legs, and the staff who already knew she had blood clots
refused to test her for fucking anything until she was on the brink of death.
In Beyonce's case, she was allowed to swell up to fucking 218 pounds from toxemia for a month before they would give a c-section so she could fucking recover.
But you don't actually give a shit because you could have googled that in ten seconds.
Do you think that literallywho black women are going to get better treatment than millionaire black women?
What point are you even trying to argue here?
I know you're all tired of wearing masks, what a fucking nightmare, having to wear a mask for the sake of sick people, you aren't sick, so why the fuck should you have to give a shit about other people besides yourself?
Sick pieces of shit should have to stay in their home forever because you don't feel like wearing a mask. I should never be allowed outside ever again because I got born wrong and "that's just life" for them, not for you. It must be real fucking easy to say that when you're not the one trapped inside. Must be real fucking easy to say that when you get to leave your house for reasons other than going to the hospital.
That must be real hard for you. Wearing a mask for a few years. Wow, I cannot imagine anything worse than having to live like that, that truly must be the worst thing that could happen to a person, wearing a fucking mask.
I hate healthy people more than anything. I'm real sorry my cancer was such a fucking hassle for you, that must have been real fucking hard, I wish you a fucking speedy recovery.
File: 1670726277124.gif (9.4 KB, 220x220, frog-angry.gif)
Stalked my ex on discord again and found out she's playing a fps game I'm into. She's probably playing it with friends or by herself but it just makes me so fucking mad and upset… like, if we were still together it's a game I would have gotten her to try out and I'm so fucking mad that wasn't me who introduced her to that game. We would have been having fun together but instead she is playing MY FAVOURITE GAME WITHOUT ME. I fucking hate it.
I understand I'm being petty and childish as fuck. I'm just not gonna check up on her anymore, there's no point other than to feel upset, anxious, and sad. I just feel more upset at what could have been if we were still together, not that she's playing a game I like. Last night and this morning, my brain was already starting to form thoughts on why we shouldn't be together anymore, why I should dislike her, why she's such a loser, but I had to remind myself why I ended up liking her in the first place, and now I lost all that progress. WHY? Why can't I just fucking get over her
File: 1670732392065.jpeg (124.38 KB, 720x596, 42A873BB-A4D3-4D78-80FF-C87CEB…)
I entertained an autistic moid in class today and I just know nothing good is going to come out of it. He added me on discord (on an alt, I couldn’t pretend I didn’t have it because he saw me on it) and he’s one of those edgy suicidal lyric posting users. I must destroy that account now
I wish i had the same audacity as a scrote but I realize people love to humble women and if I were to do what scrotes did ALL the time, it would'nt be treated the same.
The amount of-
>fat scrotes online picking at other fat scrotes or fatter scrotes acting as if they aren't in that group at all
>Men with single mothers insulting other people with single mothers/hating them, while not ONCE going, "Yeah I call men who were raised by single mom's weak, retarded and destined to fail, I know that because I was raised by one and I am"
Nope, they don't even include themselves in it, if they do they never will say it.
>Have no girlfriend
>Pick at other men for lack of girlfriend
>Has a small average pp
>Pick at other men for having small average pp
Then when you call scrotes out on their numerous delusions, they'll either have 10 excuses as to why they are "different' despite being exactly what they are shit talking.
OR be like, "Well it bothers so and so when I say these things"
And imagine being a scrote being mad at another fat girlfriendless scrote for talking shit about you? Would'nt you just be like, "no you"?
I tell you I've watched scrotes rant/talk mad shit about someone who has the same issue they have with NO Self awareness.
Like YOU ARE APART OF THAT GROUP. Whats funny is other scrotes will ignore their hypocrisy, but if a woman were to possess flaws she judged others for, men and women would quickly bring her down to reality. She has to do so in anon sense and/or make sure she makes it clear she points out her own flaws.
Literally saw a man who has to be hitting 400 picking on a fat man who was SMALLER than HIM for being fat and gross.
Pick up a mirror
12 is so young, oh my god. You are not wrong to hate him, he is lower than bug shit, absolute pedophile freak. Your parents are wrong to blame you. I don't even understand how a parent could be mad at you at all instead of feeling protective; I've seen it and had it happen to me but it never makes sense, I'm so sorry they didn't have your back at all.
Something I found helpful (but takes some effort) was putting the bad shit in the context of something that happened in the past in a long line of things in your life, just so it doesn't feel like something that's still present every moment of your ongoing life. Easier said that done with a lot of different methods depending on the person, but it is doable.
I do not know how to talk to them about it now, I can't say out loud what even happened. I can understand how they felt hurt and didn't fully understand it, but I tried to talk about it back then (I just felt guilty) and my mom was angry at me for a year but afte said it was okay and I didn't have to feel bad. My dad doesn't care, he never tried to talk about it and doesn't want to. At the time I became so quiet I couldn't make friends at school and it has made me so socially stunted even now. I have only ever been able to really talk about it with my best friend. I wish it never happened, it made me depressed, socially retarded and super resistant to intimacy of any kind.>>1440703
I hope so, but he's living a cushy welfare life. He made drawings of me for years on his instagram, it was creepy as fuck. The police came to my house to tell me to back off because I hated my classmates and parents but didn't do anything about him. I have lost all faith in the justice system. I wish I could start life all over again.
File: 1670737958364.jpeg (57.92 KB, 750x481, D515E33C-DE63-42BC-B19B-485829…)
We are living in the new age or whatever but I don’t think I live in a version of earth where I can ever feel safe. I know this is technically the time humans can live the longest but I wish the people we left in the millennia knew that monkey brain and bare violence was pretty ok sometimes in juxtaposition to famines and concrete jungles. I’m not ungrateful, just having the usual suicidal ideations you get when you’re existential. Like I’m probably in the 40 percent of the world who isn’t living a terrible life but the nuances in those 40 percent like social status you navigate around that goes hand in hand with basic survival in a city that’s supposed to be one of the richest in the world yet you sit beside unhoused people on the tram everyday. They don’t bother me, but even I look outside and I wish I could just sit alone in a park and just be scared of bears or the elements instead of a rapist or some whyt person reporting me for loitering. I’m exhausted but I have to be grateful.
File: 1670740759611.png (207.76 KB, 600x444, 9c01ea1319cb70be6a3f035eaf252b…)
i wish i never stopped streaming, i could have become affiliate by now and have an audience why does everything around me ahs to be so depression, why do i always end up gettign caught in other people's problems
Yeah honestly as harsh at this sounds that's entirely her problem and you have no obligation to offer her your place or drive her around. I would've said no too, you don't owe her anything. And the fact she got "kicked out" of her house is a bit of a red flag like what did she do to warrant that or are her parents just assholes. Also she'd have more money for a place if she quit smoking, and she sounds young so it's not like she's some life long nicotine addict, probably picked it up for the aesthetic lol. I knew a girl who sounds exactly like what you described and she was a permanent victim
type, everything was always everyone else's fault and she would take advantage of anyone to get what she wanted because she felt like she deserved it. Good for you for saying no to that, better than being financially taken advantage of by a zoomer lol
File: 1670748474610.jpg (93.79 KB, 730x370, screenshot.jpg)
they banned an anon for venting in the vent thread, but it seems to be removed now
File: 1670749737262.png (52.27 KB, 1379x535, i didn't mean to.PNG)
guys don't be mad, janny's friend had her phone
There's a moid janny that bans women venting about their abusive
bf. I got banned for talking about how my ex beat me into a miscarriage years ago.
>>1440844>I clicked the wrong IP
I used to be a janny here, this statement doesn't make any sense
also I quit because old admin kept hiring insufferable LSA and twitterfags
I'm so sorry that happened to you nonna. There is definitely a pattern with posts about physical abuse getting redtexted and it's disgusting. The jannies may be retarded but just know that there are a lot of nonnies here backing us up.>>1440853>>1440863
I hate shit like this. Stop getting your (speaking generally) scrotes involved with lolcow because given the invasive nature of moids, they are absolutely infesting this website and then seething/banning any posts they personally don't like. I can only imagine there's a janny that likes to show the physical abuse posts to her bf and be like ~ugh I'm so glad we aren't like that right Nigel?~ meanwhile he's still jerking off to tranny porn. It's been done way too many times now to just be a hecking uwu mistake or a coincidence.>>1440887
The redtexts are all really snide and sly, similar to twitterfag humour.
>>1440895>It’s even worse when they get responses like “based admin” “based jannie” I feel like I’m in a skit.
Wtf, same. It gives me the same secondhand cringe as when I see people calling corporation social media accounts "based". Like, stop giving them attention because some of the retard jannies here have obviously developed an ego over being so "based" and now feel like they can redtext whatever the fuck they like. They can't even admit their mistakes either, it's all just>u-uh guyth it wath the wrong ip addreth!!
Not a word of apology or acknowledgement to the women who vented here about their abuse and got banned for it, though. They're cowardly.
File: 1670754777940.jpg (72.56 KB, 1080x735, 1631407767964.jpg)
>person I'm crushing on messages me
>I take a couple of hours to reply because I got other shit to do
>person in question takes forever to respond
>I mentally turn into pic rel
I think it's also a reflection of how some nonnies are here, too. The whole>I disagree with what you're saying thus you must be a moid or a tranny and now I will report you and waste everyone's time because I cannot comprehend the fact that women have different opinions on things
Like I get a lot of them come here but the whole "tranny adjacent" thing makes me kek, it's shooting themselves in the foot atp and just looks paranoid. Also the amount of newfags calling everyone trannies because they disagree with something and then demanding to show hand is fucking hilarious.
What did you stream? Been trying to stream on and off for a few years now but I've never been consistent with my content>>1440902
Also even if some genuine posters here have very shit opinions, there's a difference between that and being a moid. Being wrong, let alone simply not agreeing with someone else, doesn't mean you're not a woman.
File: 1670781448579.jpeg (46.26 KB, 403x433, 4486A15A-B348-4AE3-88F7-98187E…)
i’m from Slovenia but I moved to the US when I was super young. it’s cringe to look back on but I made that my whole selling point as a person that I knew an “obscure” language that no one else knew, from a country hardly anyone had heard of. i relied so heavily on that to make people interested in me that I had literally nothing else going on personality wise.
no, i'm not. my situation is complicated, but basically i'm getting a green card to stay here because my visa ran out awhile back. honestly if i hadn't met my husband when i did, i would've moved back because i don't have much else going on here aside from our relationship and family.
yeah, i didn't really have a lot of interests or hobbies growing up. i was super sheltered and focused on school so much that i didn't have much of an opportunity to have hobbies.
Damn anon my situation isn't as complicated as yours but as I read your post I related a lot. I also grew up sheltered as fuck still am to my detriment
and am now unable to form long lasting relationships.
File: 1670791002578.jpg (24.75 KB, 300x400, 797e6ce66368e6d0d639f374ad16b7…)
Feeling extra depressed today. I'm a fat wasted potential piece of shit with a dead end job, people are dying of fucking hunger daily while companies throw away perfectly edible food or let them rot on shelves. World hunger is a fucking project. Yet I myself am a fat piece of shit because sugar (starches included) is addictive and I have a monkey brain. Haha.
File: 1670794178982.jpeg (74 KB, 736x736, 7DF04A58-91E4-4BEE-9F92-3C3BDB…)
Oh god anon you can say that again kek I hate having linebacker shoulders and trying to gain weight just to look proportional. Having big shoulders and a big ribcage while being less than an A cup is the worst combo ever. I look like a gangly tif if I don’t cinch my waist until I can’t breathe
File: 1670805017025.gif (1.66 MB, 220x220, ABD8F9E7-80E5-4E07-8BD2-0FDBD5…)
Keep remembering the insane freakout when the guy i was obsessed with ghosted me for the 102002th time. It was truly the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever done in my life, usually he would come back no matter what insane thing I would throw at him but I think that went too far. Makes me want to eat drywall.
File: 1670805140629.jpg (59.45 KB, 680x680, FdePhcOaIAAMsXw.jpg)
god i just sharted my pants. why do these things always happen to me. there was no warning beforehand it just came out of nowhere. im already sick and if i have to deal with random diarrhea i am going to jump off a tall building
File: 1670806345210.jpg (57.13 KB, 464x640, 3868a1e4570c1b87cfb2614defac0d…)
Legitimately wish I could dress like picrel everyday without drawing attention or being harassed. I've been told I suit normie chic women's fashion really well but it's just so boring to me.
>tfw will never be a japanese grandpa in a haramaki
File: 1670809268761.jpeg (Spoiler Image, 100 KB, 1080x720, 589A29B1-6FE6-4B5C-9333-A3D3E7…)
My arms are really badly messed up. They’re covered in big deep disfiguring scars like picrel (spoilered for ugly moid leg) to the point where the very shape of my arm is distorted. Anons, do you think anyone could look past it and still find me attractive and lovable?
It’s lonely. I hide them in public but I’ve had to “out” myself because of summer uniform at work. I look like a freak.
I try very hard to be pretty because I don’t have a personality, future prospects, and I’m insane, but it doesn’t draw people to me the way that I hoped it would. Maybe I’m just ugly as well as boring.
I just want gentle companionship and a safe person to speak to. Someone who doesn’t get weird and hyperfocused on my scars but who isn’t too disgusted/afraid to touch them. Someone not ashamed to hold my hand. Someone not scared to get to know me. Is that unrealistic, anons?
I live the husbando lifestyle to cope but his canonical storyline strongly implies that his fate is tied with another character, both of whom are strangely drawn together despite personal differences. They are closely linked through multiple different realities. It’s bittersweet because though I adore the dynamic it makes me feel desperately alone. There’s no red string in real life; nobody is obligated to save you or care about you.
The last person who was interested in me romantically was literally having a psychotic episode. She didn’t like me once she recovered. The only others who’ve even looked at me in the last two years were immigrants looking for housing/marriage to a local, and pimps/Johns/human traffickers.
I’m disfigured and I can’t get close to anybody no matter how hard I try, because I don’t feel comfortable being vulnerable and authentic with anybody. The bad stuff that has happened is too complicated and raw to even begin to speak about, but nobody’s asking so I suppose it doesn’t matter. It’s so lonely. It’s so lonely.
You could probably find a bf but you’d have to not show you’re vulnerable about scars and or show any weakness. Once you show that you really want to be love and cared for scrotes will take that as green light to be abusive
File: 1670809983804.jpg (89.95 KB, 680x648, cappy.jpg)
Yes, anon, I think so. Lots of disfigured and disabled people are in positive, loving relationships. You are more than your scars.
pleeeassse drop his ass. I'm scared that he'll rape you or you'll give in and contract this horrible illness. Please nonnie
File: 1670812091959.gif (1.05 MB, 498x298, sad-depressed.gif)
>man i'm in love with invites me on vacation to japan, he'll pay for everything
>can't believe someone would be so generous with me
>daydream for months about how great of a time we'll have together
>ten minutes ago, find out through online traces he's got a fetish for japanese girls specifically
I feel like crying but nothing's coming out. Feels like there's a block of concrete in my stomach. My biggest concern with moids is always not being their preferred type. And again, I am not. Yeah, they're always gonna prefer a supermodel over you. But it hurts so bad when it's a whole different type. I broke it off with my last crush for the same reason. He straight up told me he loved BBW shit and "hucows" with enormous tits. I don't care how many times you say I'm hot or attractive, I want to be your type. To know that when the person you love want to experience pleasure they want to look at someone whos the opposite of you. Man I'm so tired of this. I love this man and he's no looker at all, meanwhile I'm pretty. Yet I never even look at other handsome men, I literally do not care about others.
File: 1670812643272.jpg (1.14 MB, 1318x1316, __reki_haibane_renmei_drawn_by…)
I have depression induced loneliness and sometimes it feels so unbearable. The last relationship I had was with my ex and it ended very badly. I wasn't emotionally mature enough to handle conflicts and I ended up ruining our relationship. Now I'm all alone again. Everytime I think about doing something about my loneliness such as meeting new people, I just think "what's the point?" I'm not even a social person and it takes a while for me to warm up to people and get interested in them. Feels like I'll never have that level of closeness I once shared with my ex. I'll never meet another soul again and think "wow she's exactly like me!" Why did I destroy something so good? I always think about her and the closeness we once had everytime I'm crippingly lonely like this, and I crave so badly that kind of connection again. But maybe there's really nothing good about me at all. The only good thing I can offer is that I give attention to people I love but even that can come off as clingy and tiresome. I don't have any special skills, or a witty personality that people will like. Maybe it's better to be alone because all I do is hurt people.
I just don't get it, why invite me at all? Maybe it's to show Japanese girls that he's wanted by women at home or something. Kinda like "I'm not here to buy sex I swear, look I'm with a woman">>1442052
A miniscule amount of scrotes can act so gentle and sweet you temporarily forget they're not human like us.>>1442058
His personality alone made him insanely attractive to me. Not in a beta provider way but literal lust. Guess I'm being dramatic, he can both like me and Japanese girls, it just hurts that he wanted to take me to a place where we'll be surrounded by them and he'll be awooga-ing them all while holding my stupid hand.
Let me commiserate with you nonny
, I can totally relate to wanting to be someone’s type and coming up short. I’ve been talking to a guy that I’ve had feelings for for literal years and it finally seemed like we had a chance of becoming something, he told me I was the hottest women who ever spoke to him, his ideal woman, perfect, blah blah blah but whenever he gets drunk he talks about his fetish for black girls and how he’s only dated black or mixed girls. He’s white, I’m white, and for obvious reasons that hurts my self esteem but also I find such a racialized fetish like that kind of concerning/creepy. Long story short- moids fucking suck shit and there are other nonnies in your boat, so chin up wether you go on the trip or not.
File: 1670816804797.png (378.56 KB, 1013x805, C52BA6CA-C13D-4DC9-92DC-87DB62…)
played Gartic Phone with friends and then the tranny decided to join the call and every prompt he put was tranny shit and then when we were done he started putting on this cutesy voice and it made me wanna throw up
Thanks for sharing, it's nice not being alone. Actually feel a bit better. He's told me the same, that he can't believe someone like me wants to spend time with him. He literally admitted to feeling ugly next to me and I comforted him and keep having to explain over and over that I'm not talking to other men. Both our moids are gross fetishists, and whatever bullshit they spew when drunk is the truth finally slipping out, yep. I'd usually say get rid of his ass, but knowing what it's like, now I'm thinking maybe it's not the worst. All men are pigs, but if you find that rare pig who treats you well maybe you just gotta accept kinda being a cuck. He can have a fetish and still find you just as attractive as them I guess. Moids always want something new and different anyway. Personally think I'm just gonna suck it up to be honest because finding someone I can tolerate is so rare. It's not like you can stop being attracted to men and be celibate forever. If your guy is really great otherwise, maybe ask him to not mention black women again if he does.
The racial aspect of it is disgusting but men have caricatures in their heads of all "types" of women. All women belong to a porn category to them whether that be curvy ebony or petite asian or freckled ginger or big titty goth. Like even the granny who works at the library is part of a porn category to them, not a human. Even the skeltor looking crackhead outside the gas station.
File: 1670818185001.jpeg (67.34 KB, 735x688, E716F901-2B11-463E-9485-BAD535…)
Yes girl you get it, glad you’re feeling better. and this may be super toxic of me but whenever a moid shows a trait like that I just know it’ll be one more thing that will make it easier if shit does go south and the relationship ends kek
I fucking despise my roommate. We're both e-whores, I do clips and photos and she does camming. This is a long as fuck vent because this has been going on for a year. We were both 18 when we became good friends and since I was living alone I wanted her to stay with me as often as possible just like any teenage girl. I was paying for everything: food, rent, wifi, w/e needed to be paid was paid by me while all she had to do was help out a bit at home and WORK, until we moved to a new and more expensive place, then it became 50/50. For some odd fucking reason, she always talked shit about her then-camsite that she worked on, and when we moved to a new place I sure as fuck wasn't gonna pay for everything since she's a lazy bitch, so I suggested some new camsites and lo and behold, she starts making bank. That's when the shitstorm got worse. She acted like working 3 hours a day was excruciating as fuck, and I had to tell her to work almost every single night. She has never been consistent, always talked shit about the moids who gave her money, and god, when it came to making payments, she was always like "later" or "I dont have money atm". She also almost never cleaned, because according to her, all the mess was because of me. She went home for thanksgiving + her birthday and I swear to god those were the best 2 weeks of my life. I left the apartment squeaky clean, worked lots and got a new desk and keyboard, and felt much better and more productive. When she came back (around 2 weeks ago) she had been acting weird, and it was making me pissed because she didnt want to work or clean or even get up from bed. Tonight I finally told her, for like the 3rd or 4th time if she has considered fucking off back home (nicely obviously) and she said yes, because she misses her family. I'm excited as fuck.
The whole point of me letting her live with me and also bringing her to a new place was for her to focus on her work and actually doing something, she always complained about her job as if it was the hardest thing ever, but if I suggested she got a normal job or something, then came her "lol no I cant handle 9-5" arguments. Like, holy shit, if you hate your job so much even though you barely make an effort to stream one or two hours PER DAY while earning way more than minimum wage, it might be a signal for you to DO SOMETHING ELSE WITH YOUR LIFE. This will forever be a friendly reminder to never bring dumbasses with the mentality of a 12yo to live with me.
File: 1670823177530.jpg (271.69 KB, 680x1148, 1649493197813.jpg)
I used to play an mmorpg religiously which involved finding a guild with like-minded people in order to do content. Made the mistake of letting an overly progressive boomer with a job in politics into the guild. Treated him well despite his incessant need to compare himself to me, a woman in her 20s, and the others filling his role to the point where I'd be humble to a fault. I would carry the vast majority of the time but tried not to get competitive like the moids because they're always extra threatened by a woman.
One day me and a friend made some irrelevant joke about troons on discord while we were waiting for people to log on so we could clear the content. My guild had people from all walks of life, with the only caveats being we weren't a politically correct bunch of people but we were never malicious, we could just take a joke. Of course he saw me as a target because instead of arguing at the moid who was joking with me, he directly targeted me with the most smug virtue signalling mantra that unironically went on for 5 whole minutes in front of nearly the entire guild. He brought up irrelevant homosexual family members in order to shame me (I have gay and lesbian family members too kek) like they have any relevancy to troons. This was seemingly to support the notion that joking about trannies is comparable to the legitimate hardships and violence gays and lesbians faced when fighting for their rights. And then he proceeded to mansplain to me that troons weren't gaining theirs at the expense women, and when I argued how he could possibly know that not being a women, he just sperged about how he can talk about whatever he wants in typical moid fashion. After I felt my brain legitmatly exiting my skull I just relented to his long, boring tangent with "that's fair enough" in the hopes he would just stfu making it uncomfortable and we could just play the game.
All I wanted was to play with friends and not have moids thought policing jokes that are a whole lot more harmless than the subjects of the jokes themselves. Progressive moids are just as infuriating as conservative moids the only difference being one wears thier misogyny on their sleeve. The extent they will go to to cape for men in skirts at the expense of trying to embarrass and shame a woman for wrong think, without an ounce of self awareness, will always stick with me. I no longer find enjoyment in something that was a significant aspect of my life due to incidents like this where brain-dead twitterfag ideologue and politics is forced on you in every space you seek to escape from it.
File: 1670823908149.png (163.29 KB, 795x546, arab.png)
Why the fuck are Arab moids so fat and disgusting? Is it the entitlement? Can't they eat normally? Can't they fuck off?
I think I'm just gonna sperg out all the problems I've had so far. Last one was that I got into a stupid problem with a mentally ill uwu egirl. I started talking to some random guy who turned out to be her ex bf. Whatever, me and her arent even friends. Later on, she messages me that she wants me to be careful with him because they plan on getting back together and that she's anxious and worried that he might meet the "love of his life" while they're separated (this is supposed to be a ldr and they've only seen each other ONCE in the span of three years). Again, whatever, don't care since me and the guy only play games together, I talk it over with one of our mutuals and he's like "what the fuck?", turns out she was sending nudes to my friend while being in an on/off ldr with gamer dude. I find it funny, I tell my friends too, big mistake, they tell gamer dude, gamer dude tells mentally ill uwu girl, mentally ill uwu girl lashes out electronically at my friend for telling me about the nudes then calls me a lying bitch and that I lied because I wanted to fuck gamer dude and comes out saying that she cut her wrists over the drama, all on her instagram stories. Again, I find it funny because 1) she's exposing me to randoms, 2) they're not even together, 3) gamer dude said he was confused about her saying that they're in an on/off ldr since they're supposed to be exes. I also had receipts of her sexting with my friend + her having her fake panic attack over me talking to him with her name and everything. She, once again, calls me a lying bitch, that I wanted to fuck gamer dude, and that she supposedly really loved me as a friend when she didnt even remember she had me as a facebook friend, nor did we ever play games together in the 5+ years we've known each other. I ended up being blocked by both mentally ill uwu girl and gamer dude, but what the fuck bro, I didnt even flirt or make any type of advances. It was pure gaming between us. Still funny for me tho, since everyone I know has said that they hate her and that she's a huge attention seeker and no one believes her. I guess some people really lash out when they're about to lose their simps.
File: 1670828891388.jpeg (27.49 KB, 510x325, B36BA527-024B-41BE-97BB-6111A7…)
I don’t know why I decided to decimate my self esteem by putting a grid over a front facing photo of myself just to over analyze every little asymmetry but now I never want to leave the house again. I don’t know what I was trying to accomplish but I did it I guess.
File: 1670847633825.jpg (28.21 KB, 640x428, r0406q47dmx71.jpg)
Im going to be 30 in a few days and I feel horrible. At least when I was 28 and 29 I could take comfort in "still being in my 20s" and use that as a way to feel better about not being as far in life as I thought I would be at this age. I got a doctorates degree 3 years ago but really horrible things happened to me between 2019-2021. I was in constant survival mode + a state of abuse and I've been taking all of 2022 to heal. I feel better now than I did at the beginning of the year, but it's just the thought that my youth is over. I never got to experience that young love i was looking for. Just a decade of stressing out in college and getting abused by men on the side. I havent been utilizing my doctorates degree rn (I have to pass licensing exams this upcoming year) but it's almost like "what's the point?" "Why am I here?" Nothing went right. Way am I still clinging on? Theres nothing to look forward to. Im too "old" now to experience all those special things people get to.
I just feel like im waiting to die.
It's a shame you wasted your life fixated on men for your happiness. When have they ever really NOT contributed hell to womens lives in most of history ? I mean from that perspective it seems like hoping a terrorist will bring you happiness
I've never required men to happy because I simply don't trust them. I don't get what you say because it would mean you think what I genuinely enjoy must be a lie. I must be "waiting to die" because I want no such thing. It's ridiculous.
I usually wouldn't post something so cold but it felt pretty insulting to read seeing how I'm 36 and happier than I ever was in my 20s
I guess it's all about perspective huh. I feel terrible because I'm mid twenties and still in school for a mere bachelors, you feel terrible despite getting a doctorates degree by your mid twenties.
On the subject of perspectives, I can't wait for 30 because I hope I'll be in a more stable place in my life by then. Not trying to make this about me but I'm just proposing a shift in perspective. Maybe you can see this as a fresh start and new chances and opportunities. Your life isn't over at 30.
I echo the sentiment of the other nonnie
, I can't believe someone's in crisis while being so young with a doctorate, while I got my bachelors at 29, and still have no idea what to do or a stable job. I don't think young love is as amazing, I think it's something heavily romanticized by those who think they missed out on it. It was a lot of crying and heartache over men I thought were the love of my life while looking back even a year apart I realized we were a terrible match and they were disrespectful towards women.
File: 1670851979619.jpg (149.67 KB, 559x608, maxresdefault_1.jpg)
I gave myself a shitty ass haircut and now I've to go to the hairdresser so she can fix it. I just know she's going to bully me over this and tbh I deserve it, I literally look like picrel rn
Ive given up on the idea of finding a nice scrote. I know it's impossible. Im also in a lot of debt too however, so im not really rolling in money rn. Ill have to work a lot to make a small dent in the loans I built up and the career i picked is stressful as hell. It's in the top 10 careers that cause people to commit suicide (in the US).
Ive never been given good things. Ive had to suffer. I understand my original post came off as scrote-obsessed but I really dont want people to get the idea Im good and lucky now, given opportunities, and sailing easy just because I suffered through getting a docs degree.
File: 1670853505425.jpg (23.52 KB, 350x361, 991afac38f925cfd466a0cdc8db92e…)
If only it had some body it could look like Alice Cullen hair in the first movie, which is very cute. Idk bobs in general suck unless you have naturally curly/wavy hair to give it that little something. Flat bobs are so sad
t. was obsessed with bobs for years
File: 1670855275838.jpg (139.39 KB, 851x1508, emofiat500-FjSerTeWYAAmkvt.jpg)
really upset that my ex's new girlfriend is getting treated so much better than I was. I don't think he ever bought me a gift or posted pics of us together on social media like he does with her. I would understand if she were a literal model or something but she's not. I just don't understand why partners don't see me as worth the effort. it hurts so much and it shouldn't be this painful anymore
File: 1670855428976.jpeg (95.12 KB, 735x800, 2AB0A933-ECE4-4DBD-B160-1B1A60…)
I would make a picture of us together my profile pic nona.
File: 1670858364617.jpeg (66.65 KB, 1080x402, 77EA15BE-0FB5-4028-854B-941843…)
nonnies i've suddenly turned into a hypochondriac. how likely is it for me to get pregnant from a toilet seat? kek it sounds insane but i really had to pee and the only closest place i knew had toilets was a cafe that only moids frequent. im really paranoid someone might have masturbated or something and left his semen on there and i sat on it. might be tmi but i always sit at the front edge of the toilet, and it reeked of old piss so it wasn't clean all i was focused on was peeing because i felt like my bladder was about to explode so i didnt notice or care
File: 1670861360292.jpg (11.65 KB, 300x300, kekkk.jpg)
I'm dying right now, clam-slam the seat, oh my fuck
It has nothing to do with you. He's just putting on an act for her and like >>1442595
said, he will be back to his typical moid ways after the honeymoon phase is over.
I love my 30s. I am far too powerful and confident now. I love and understand myself more than I ever have. I have enough wisdom from years of life experience that i can advocate for myself and protect myself from a lot of things that i was too young and inexperienced to pick up on in the past. im no longer too meek to demand the respect I deserved all along. I love using my womanly femininity to intimidate men, they know they are inferior. I would never want to revisit my 20s or teens again honestly. Everyone is so hyperfixated on youth when it is literally so freeing to be a confident woman in her 30s. I am truly in my prime and I LOVE telling people, especially scrotes, my real age because it not only shocking to them but forces them to face their own mortality and how awful they have aged in comparison to me (and most women my age in general).. after my age reveal most of them will make themselves very small then disappear before my eyes because they know they are approching me on some bullshit to begin with. I love knowing that men think I'm irresistible but are too scared to approach me because my brain is fully developed now, they know that they cannot even waste my time with their shenanigans because I wouldn't put up with it like a naive child would. They know a woman my age is going to have standards. Not to mention they are too dumb to clock me for my real age because men have a misconstrued idea of what 30 year olds look like (probably from years of elderly pick mes claiming to be in their 30s when their really in their 50s) so I get a kick out of it when a predatory scrote approaches me thinking I'm some young dumb college student or something kek.
I encourage all the younger ladies here to change your outlook on aging. 30s are supposed to be some of the best years of your life! Enjoy your prime. I am omnipotent and have no desire or need to keep a man around, because I prefer my own company. I used to jump through hoops for male attention when I was young but now the tables have turned, if I say jump scrotes ask how high (as they should)
thank you sweet nona ily !!>>1442595>>1442693
yeah that makes sense, thank you for helping me see the more logical side of things ladies
File: 1670863063191.jpeg (75.13 KB, 512x524, FC9B9D59-9AA9-4570-B03B-56CA41…)
KEK thanks anons. i was really worried because like that other anon said i did look it up on google it said there's a very small but possible chance so i got worried, i even added reddit and quora to my query (kek) and it said the same about how under specific circumstances it was possible. im so sorry for being so retarded i was sincerely worried in the moment it felt so real but i know better now. im glad i could give some of you a good laugh keknot the first time my mind goes straight to dramatics btw one time i ate something i was unfamiliar with so foul i felt my throat closing up and i was like omg i am going through anaphylaxis i am going to die. all because i ate this thing i just so happened to be unknowingly allergic to. this is the end
KEK i dont tell anyone about these things irl so i figured i would ask my nonnies.
File: 1670864221088.gif (5.21 MB, 275x275, 1669001683179.gif)
I'm certain my professor graded me unfairly and I have no idea how to approach this via email.
My coursemate and I compared our projects and notes with each other and we got similar markings, despite us agreeing that both my presentation and content (included everything the brief asked of me) were better.
He used a rubrics marking scheme and some of the areas seem to be marked low on purpose with no basis for it. My grades are usually in the 80-100 range, so being a couple of points away from even getting 60 seems bizarre.
When presenting it (actual presentation was only worth 15% of the mark) I answered all of the questions correctly and he seemed to misunderstand me on purpose without listening to me. I reckon he's annoyed that I stood up to him and corrected him whenever he said something that didn't line up with what I was saying and what my goals were.
I really don't want to be one of those annoying students who assume they deserve a better grade but this time it certainly feels personal. My only saving grace is that another professor was there to ask a couple of questions and he seemed to be fully on board with what I was going for with my work, so I doubt this is just me being entitled.
File: 1670864502396.jpeg (69.87 KB, 886x768, EC53373E-D745-431E-8CAF-E1712D…)
THE BEST LIAR YOU KNOW IS NOT THE BEST LIAR YOU KNOW
Love this anon! 30s are truly freeing for a woman.
Please nonnies do not fall for the bangmaid (marriage with moid) meme while you are still in your 20s. Let your mind develop
What this anon said: >>1442766
A lot of professors are on constant ego trips.
I would try approaching him in the most polite, contrite way possible. In person if you can, but email is fine. Say something like, "I really thought I had included everything that the brief asked of me. Clearly I didn't, but I don't understand what I missed. Would you be able to meet with me to review my grade? I'd like to understand so I can do better next time."
If he really graded you unfairly, he won't have any good reason for grading you the way he did and you'll be able to tell immediately by his bullshit answers. Or he may just refuse to review it with you. You can escalate the issue from there if you want to.
Alternatively, if you approach him very nicely, he may regret acting on his ego and offer to review your project again or something to give you a better grade.
File: 1670869022712.jpg (26.59 KB, 407x413, thumbs up.jpg)
It's horrible. I can't find this one particular post anymore because the search system on tumblr is awful, but someone posted about how their teacher friends and teacher communities online have noticed that both gross and fine motor skills of children nowadays are years behind what they should be. Kids unable to use their fingers because all they do is tap on tablets and that's it. Many don't have a sense of exploration and natural curiosity either. And lets not even talk about their social skills, I don't even want to imagine how much worse they'll be compared to the anxious and emotionally distanced teen zoomers we get today. >>1442829
Sadly it wasn't recorded, but even if I had seriously dropped the ball with the presentation, which I didn't, that'd only take off 15%. >>1442766>>1442796
Thank you for the replies, since our semester ended last week I will bring it up once we get back.
Asked around and turns out we all got graded in the 50% area, which makes it even more strange because of how different our submissions were. Last year he messed up and posted the answer sheet alongside the exam and was too lazy to redo the questions so he just deleted the answer sheet and hoped no one noticed, so pretty much everyone got 80% or higher on that module. Maybe this is him trying to even out the exam results or something? Either way, doesn't feel right but at least now I know it's not targeted.
But I will definitely bring it up. I wouldn't mind doing it face-to-face and it'd probably yield better results, but with emails you have proof… Tough choice.
File: 1670870463828.gif (4.24 MB, 498x286, gh4777774.gif)
i'm barking at you WRRRRAFF WRAF RWARF GRRRRR!!!!
Is she the one shitting on childhood abuse victims
because she’s so great she bought her broke daddy a house?
Yah I don't mind every once in awhile but every single time? Sometimes I just want to stay the fuck home. excuse my aggression nonny
it's not directed towards you btw I'm just irritated. It's not even some big social event they'd just meet up at some bumfuck diner and talk for hours while me and another gf who was dragged along just sat there waiting to leave. literally every fucking time.
Me: brings my thoughts about how retarded your posts make you look to the vent thread because I feel like venting which I have the right to do
You, somehow >EAUUU U SO OBSESSED WITH ME!
Do you think getting the bare minimum of finger screen typing attention from a random woman on lolcow.farm means someone gives a shit about you? You’re saying me calling you retarded is unhinged meanwhile you’re crying about how you were gonna be an OF prostitute sitting in your “house”…
File: 1670872574383.jpeg (93.46 KB, 722x722, 384E14A5-CBDF-4755-903E-B516F0…)
some guy from my uni somehow found my number and texted me asking to be friends. ironically i have no friends he could have gotten ahold of my number through. we are in this class groupchat thing but it has about 130 members, which not only is my profile picture not a picture of myself but i also do not have my name written anywhere on my profile. am i right to be scared kek i also have never had a moid friend before so im even more afraid
File: 1670872748864.gif (91.56 KB, 900x900, azHDINO.gif)
I'm starting to feel like shit for kicking my roomie out. We've gone through lots of things and I know I'm going to miss her because she was my best friend, but I can't babysit her anymore. It's really stressful. I hope she understands.
I don't know what the fuck is wrong with my brain wiring but being able to kick people from my life as soon as they're shit to me without batting an eye feels off. It's healthy up to a certain point since I guess I kind of see it as self-care, but holy shit either people around me have a tendency to be garbage or I seriously need some psychological help.
I literally moved to a completely new city without telling anyone (not even mom), cut off all my friends (didn't hurt since they stopped inviting me to things because my male bff's girlfriend hated me and my roomie for just being women), and now I'm probably not even going to talk to my roomie again after this shitstorm so it might be back to being completely alone, just a tad scarier since I'm in a whole ass city I still need to explore.
On the plus side, I've met a really nice guy who's really nerdy and sweet. I've only had one problem with him (which was him mentioning my work when I didnt wanna talk about it) and when I asked him to stop he was the nicest fucking thing and said "thanks for telling me that I'm going too far, don't worry, I wont do it again I promise". Bad side? I'm starting to like him but he's mentioned that he recently got out of a toxic relationship, so I'm probably gonna have a BPD fit at some point and lose him because guys who go through that usually don't stay with me since I'm basically trying to create a relationship where one can't happen due to the "toxic ex" or commitment fears.
I'm probably gonna touch on my family life later on here. I'm really in a depressed-yet-the-happiest-I've-ever-been state. Becoming fully independent too young + my DV-related family history really took a toll on me I guess.
File: 1670875682800.jpeg (64.49 KB, 875x875, 00E828B9-8966-4315-BFB4-E34B3B…)
the groupchat is set so that only admins can send messages for announcements etc. there weren't any group assignments this semester either so afaik no one in my uni has my number apart from the administration. stressing rn because i have to attend an exam tomorrow so i'm probably going to see him and not recognize whoever that was as his profile picture is him with his face obscured, but he will since he asked if i was the asian girl and there's no other one in our group… i have no idea how to politely decline or even just respond
File: 1670876511653.png (277.75 KB, 1024x895, ididntevenknowitstillexisted.p…)
I just saw a Playboy commercial on TV
File: 1670879090188.jpg (46.73 KB, 650x793, DNfOVZQUEAAdFIJ.jpg)
I hate how much my classmates bitch about tests/exam questionnaires. According to them, almost every professor's expectations are too high, no test is "student-friendly", every handout material for self-study is too much (30-40 page texts that usually cover the same topics the lectures do) and the grading is always "too slow", so they don't know how hard they should study for the next class to pass. We all work, we all watch Netflix instead of studying half the time, but these people really act like they should be handed a degree for free. I've looked at the ratings on the markmyprofessor site, and it's full of the same bitching across years. Am I just alone in my love for studying? Am I secretely some academic genius? Is everyone just insanely mentally lazy and entitled? I honestly don't get why my experience and their experience with the classes is so different
File: 1670879266534.png (219.95 KB, 563x552, lisadrank.png)
I had surgery a while back and had some issues coming out of it, heart rate was dropping and I kept falling back asleep so I had a nurse with me trying to keep me alert and shit. Saw her today at my check up and she told me what I said first thing after I woke up and tried to stay awake
>I can't die, my dad is in there
she thought it was so cute and my autistic ass couldn't tell her my shitty dad is dead and that's probably what I meant Holy shit that was uncomfortable and stupid
Anon, you must have accidentally replied to me. I'm guessing you meant to reply to >>1443288
Not every country is America, we have state-funded university and interest-free student loans. I don't see the point of doing a graduate program if you're just going to bitch and moan all the way through it.>>1443310> get angry for not doing well in exams and assignments
This is what bothers me. People also try to one-up each other over how little they have studied, but then I see the same people saying about how the teacher graded too harshly, because barely any people got an A/B. It's so baffling.
File: 1670881589134.jpg (1.02 MB, 1876x1001, test.jpg)
I just finished Wednesday at it was awful. Here's some spoiler free stuff I hated:
>troll gomez, scared baby pugsley, bubbly looking morticia with 0 imposing aura
>tim burton's tangible fetishes shining through with goth girls, girls in skintight leather cat suits, wednesday actress acting like a mini helena boham carter in some scenes
>usage of shitty meme words like "normie", frequently
>ambigiousness about the macabre nature of the family, oh no killing is bad!
>Bianca's plot just shoehorned into this to hook for the next season
>"I didn't ask her what she identified as" referring to creatures like vampires etc. THE METAPHOR DOESN'T MAKE SENSE
>the last episode ruins everything, the whodunnit resolution is poor
>wednesday doesn't learn her lesson that visions are misleading
>random forced checklist scenes in the last episode to tie plot threads but they just look cheap
The problem is, since the schools rely on students paying tens of thousands of dollars to attend, that no one wants to be the bad guy.
Admin doesn't want a high fail rate and they want to keep raking in the bucks, and professors don't want to have the tough discussions about how many students aren't cut out for academia. In defense of the latter, bet professors these days are nervous about pissing off the wrong students for fear of violent retaliation.
I have no sympathy for those whiners. A 40 page document to read (and not even in prep for a discussion, presentation, or a response paper) is a cakewalk.
I read that the pandemic shutdowns turned most students into snowflakes because they got too used to being able to flake by with online courses–which even what little I took in my grad program several years ago–have always been easy bullshit.
I'm so sorry this is happening you to you, nonnie
. Have you tried to contact your state's medical board or your healthcare provider? The denying of insulin to a diabetic and cutting you off necessary medication that was helping you sounds like medical malpractice. You need to report this to somebody.
File: 1670884412744.jpg (48.47 KB, 640x640, 958be65b3659a917cab01db96f69ab…)
Fucked my sleep schedule guess I'm nocturnal now but I don't really give a shit. Sometimes I just don't feel like waking up I just will myself back to dreamland