File: 1648484934520.gif (1.46 MB, 500x372, 79AE901B-8FCC-48EA-A817-D8489A…)
No. 1114751
May every nonna have a good horoscope soon
Previous:
>>>/ot/1108984 No. 1114780
>>1114772Terrified of groups of teenagers too and I am a chavvy teenager. I think we have some intergenerational issues like old people resenting the young and the young disrespecting the old because they don’t trust adults (broken homes) or they feel powerless. I think Britain needs to go to therapy kek
Yeah anyway I totally understand you, you really need to project ‘i own the place’ with your body language and walk with other people if that helps.
No. 1114782
>>1114772Spent most of my life in a rough area where I'd always anticipate teens passing comment. It was just expected. I moved area a while ago and now it's weird passing by teen fellas and not hearing a peep out of em.
I think 'are you a lesbian?!' is the line I used to get the most.
No. 1114850
>>1114782I'm jealous
nonnie I wish I could move too.
No. 1114858
>>1114809I already hate when people say "well if a man did this people would react like.." and now I can add this to the list too "imagine if this were a transwoman instead"
Why are people so into creating hypotheticals. It rarely adds shit to the conversation. It's playing make believe.
No. 1114998
>>1114984>>1114967this place is filled with so many male-posters lately what the fuck is going on and the admin/jannys are absent.
You should take a look at the moid who started infights on like four different threads and probably got reported by a ton of anons.
he said that the jannys did not ban him and he can still post…..why?
Some anons are speculating there may be a mole among the modertors.
No. 1115018
>>1115012He said he
didn't get banned
No. 1115022
>>1115017I don't usually get red text either, IDK what determines it. I got red text for insane shit like posting emoji as part of a quote but not for posting something off topic.
>>1115018He would do that either way, because that is what would upset people the most.
No. 1115086
File: 1648503792070.jpg (203.71 KB, 1139x1080, tumblr_cb3c81b2e833eb77810e9dd…)
i'm so ugly, and while i've largely made peace with it – it hurts. whenever i see someone impossibly attractive to me and realize i'd never ever have a chance with them, i ache. i want to be hot and androgynous (in a way that would appeal to women and not moids).
on this note i really wish i could stop being attracted to ftms because 90% of them want a (gay) guy and not my ugly self.
No. 1115090
>>1114993>I'll never forget being so angry and devastated by being strung along by this meatsackThat's what you get for degrading and lowering yourself to a bullfrogman's level. Never do obese, never do neckbeard, never do ugly. Never ever ever ever ever do obese neckbeard ugly.
They'll do everything in their (laughably small) power to bring you down to their miserable level in the sexual/social scale, and you'll feel perpetually humiliated for having engaged in a physical relationship with someone repulsive.
Nevermind the (latent or overt) social humiliation in your circles.
No. 1115098
>>1115090>you'll feel perpetually humiliated for having engaged in a physical relationship with someone repulsiveTbh I don't feel humiliated for having been with someone ugly or fat. My friends didn't even know cause the relationship never went official. It's just that ugly and fat men don't deserve to have egos and should feel gratitude. Some do, but others certainly don't.
I don't lose sleep but I'll never forget how that ungrateful fucker made me feel.
No. 1115111
File: 1648505286679.jpeg (171.79 KB, 750x562, 5D17B2F9-E576-40B8-9D1C-2BD0CC…)
>>1114976Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life/Another Wonderful Life.
No. 1115125
>>1115109Thank you lol why are men like this. I always leave him on read when he sends that crap (or tell him off if it's really bad, he doesn't listen though. Fucking retard.) He expects me to think it's funny somehow?
>>1115106Not really, just dudebro memes. I only recently discovered he's one of those guys who will stick his dick in anything and I'm getting tired. I've known him since I was like 12 or 13 so I don't want to ditch him, he might as well be my brother at this point. He just has more braincells in his dick than in his head. Like most scrotes.
No. 1115130
File: 1648506570479.jpg (47.84 KB, 1364x767, us-trans-map_wide-82e4424e3a29…)
>>1115115it's really not. Log off.
No. 1115158
File: 1648508582287.gif (910.93 KB, 201x200, B8286E52-E5CC-4197-9F39-215A9D…)
i am seething so hard right now
No. 1115253
File: 1648516393748.jpg (47.03 KB, 564x751, 3d44f0dfda970d20d7e4ccefc1b84c…)
I HATE COPING STRATEGIES, I DON'T WANNA BREATH, I WANT MY CIGARETTES
No. 1115286
File: 1648518252530.jpg (1.03 MB, 2000x2000, Will Smith Smack Album.jpg)
>>1115280LET THEM MOIDS FIGHT
No. 1115331
File: 1648521977310.jpg (43.95 KB, 750x589, u1xsmxdm0c261 (1).jpg)
I feel so empty… Normally I fill the void with fujo shit, but even that isnt working today…
No. 1115341
>>1114984NTA and not defending that person, but Jessi's said before that her father was
abusive, and that she even had nightmares about him. I feel pretty bad for her, seems like everyone in her life screwed her over
No. 1115353
>>1115151I think "done" in this case means doing everything possible to suppress the texture and make it look totally different, as if the very nature of our hair is ugly by default. I know you said this in good faith but when you have kinky/coily hair it's like layers and layers of problems.
I'm just venting now but damn I had my hair chemically straightened every month for 6 years. It was so expensive and it always burned my scalp… I'm so glad I chopped it off and started fresh. Now I walk around with my dumbass nappy head not caring about anything.
No. 1115424
File: 1648527782774.gif (105.04 KB, 400x331, cry.gif)
I put the wrong PD on my new glasses and now I'm seeing double
No. 1115469
File: 1648530687199.jpg (364.7 KB, 1000x665, not happy.jpg)
I know that this is gatekeeping but I'm actually kind of upset that a moid I know is moving to the same town as me just because I showed him this Korean market that sells their deli food for half off every evening. He told me that one of the main reasons that he purposely chose this town is because of that deli. Ugh, I know he's lazy as fuck and doesn't want to cook. He'd complain about his mom's cooking all the time and wouldn't even cook for himself, just would eat literal fast food junk instead. Why are moids so pathetic and can't even cook for themselves?
It also upsets me that from now on, I'll have even less of an excuse to turn him down if he asked me to hang or something when I don't feel like it because now we'd LIVE IN THE SAME FUCKING TOWN!
No. 1115543
File: 1648539120130.jpg (87.67 KB, 445x503, get away from me.jpg)
was gossiping with my sister and found out several couples we know are poly. some of them I wasn't too surprised by, but one of them I was. and all of them have kids. and that's on top of the couples I already know of (who also all have kids) who are poly.
it's starting to feel really depressing. I've never wanted poly but I'm starting to think it might become the new normal. like what if in the future poly is the standard and you're seen as extremely oldschool or possessive/crazy/insecure if you don't want it? fuck whoever tried to make this shit normalized
I'm starting to think humans might need religion to instill shame in us and keep our degeneracy in check
No. 1115564
File: 1648541648396.jpeg (48.96 KB, 622x479, 30193819-09F6-4AB8-8B2A-27DD5E…)
I’m scared to see my family next month for my birthday. They haven’t seen me physically in a year and in that time I’ve lost about 60lbs. They’ve only ever known me to be chubby edging on being in an overweight bmi so I’m scared they’re going to freak out at me and accuse me of not taking care of myself. I only lost the weight because I went on meds for my ADHD and it completely killed all my enjoyment of food. I don’t want my family to ask me how or why I lost so much because I just know they’ll judge me if I tell them the truth. Ugh I’m trying to think of a way to not have to see them because I know it’ll be all they want to talk about. My mom used to be a anachan bone rattler and I just know she’ll start going on tangents about how she used to be soooooooooo much skinnier than me at my age but then within the same sentence tell me I look too skinny and it makes her sad.
No. 1115580
>>1115570>Mainstream means nothingUh, yes it does. If something is mainstream that means it's the norm and things that go against it are often frowned upon. If polyamory becomes the norm there will be more pressure to conform to that. And in most countries in Christian parts of the world polygamy was illegal.
Also, I never said I wanted to enforce religion. Stop being retarded and taking every vent so fucking seriously, it ain't that deep.
No. 1115598
File: 1648543791441.jpeg (24.43 KB, 828x140, D7ACD586-7674-4B6F-8805-B12091…)
>>1115567Diner doesn't open for an hour UGHHHHGHH
No. 1115614
>>1115596Well in the middle ages monogamy was the common practice in Christian countries. Also the Bible isn't entirely consistent, there are verses that support monogamy. There were other non Christian countries where polygamy was enforced so it's probably safe to say Christianity had some influence on monogamy being the norm. Also, enforcing a religion doesn't mean that every single aspect of it has to be enforced, it could just be certain parts. For example, some branches of Christianity are really against drinking and some don't care.
I'm aware that religion is more bad than good, it's just that we don't really know what happens when religion is removed from society, and it seems to be that it just gets replaced with secular religions like communism and wokeness which aren't much better. Again, you're taking this way too fucking seriously.
No. 1115633
File: 1648546188375.png (109.36 KB, 253x243, 1557105509465.png)
>am borderline
>am aware of it though
>stopped talking years ago because I know I literally cannot stop myself from hurting people if I let myself talk
>can't even text/message people because I know I'll do it there too
>literally haven't said more than basic animal crossing-teir flavor-text answers only when addressed first for the last seven fucking years
>it works
>retain all friends I make
>love them as much as my brain is able too
>am consumed entirely by fear for my friends and family, all kinds of fears, but mostly at this point the fear is anyone dying or getting hurt
>have psychiatrist and therapist, see therapist every week
>feel horrible after every single session
>literally puked on camera the last two therapy sessions because they made me feel so sick
>I am so fucking lonely my heart feels inverted
I just want to be a normal dirtbag, please, just a total loser like I am now, but normal, that is all I'm asking
No. 1115645
>>1115633If you feel so much worse after therapy that you're throwing up, you need to seek different therapy
Also your therapist shouldn't be making you throw up repeatedly, they should be able to figure out the first time what made you do it, and not touch that exposed nerve again immediately the next session
No. 1115672
File: 1648548774963.jpg (39.82 KB, 900x900, an.jpg)
Samefag who complained about her brother and his apartment key in the last thread.
Everyone's so incompetent today. Went to work early in the morning, came home because I made an appointment for the post office to send someone my way to pick up some packages for me because they're too big and heavy and because I don't own a car. I'm on my way to uni now and someone should've come 2 hours ago but didn't, even though I was given a time frame and already payed for it. Great. Now I have to somehow figure this out myself, ask for a refund and tell them not to give customers a time frame, if they can't stick to it. I don't expect them to be extremely punctual, but if they still don't show up 2 hours after the time frame is over then it's not my fault either and I payed for a service I didn't get.
Complained about my brother acting like a princess in the last thread because I told him that there's only a bit of time for him to give me the key to his apartment so I can take care of his snake for a couple of weeks while he's gone, yet he still expects me to accomodate him, even though he has no other responsibilities today. Now he suddenly texts me about meeting up in the city instead of my place, which makes it more stressful for me, because there's currently a demo and public transport to the city center is fucked. I'm so close to telling him to just fuck off and find someone else becase I don't want to see anyone today. I'm so fucking angry and stressed and this day sucks.
No. 1115692
File: 1648550668483.jpg (99.44 KB, 1024x683, 475785686.jpg)
I know this is awful but I'm feeling secretly vindicated that my bf is having a hard time getting re-diagnosed with ADHD after switching doctors. He has barely any symptoms and got diagnosed because he couldn't focus in school but aside from that and being an occasionally loud person he has NO symptoms, I'M the one who struggles wth impulsivity, inattention, losing things, messiness, forgetting appointments, etc., and haven't been able to get diagnosed, yet this mf gets slapped with a diagnosis as soon as he struggles a little in school (which he graduated from btw, I had to drop out)??? I would never say any of this because I think he genuinely believes he has it and I want to be supportive, but holy shit is it frustrating.
No. 1115716
File: 1648553728348.jpeg (Spoiler Image,1.82 MB, 4032x3024, 115EEF9D-C992-447E-A6E1-60B336…)
Trying to enjoy my breakfast and this man is also sitting at the diner bar. He keeps talking loudly in my direction. I suppose he assumed that since I am friendly with the waitress, I will be with him.
He keeps speaking loudly about serving as a marine, and keep my head down and keep writing in my notebook. The waitress kept trying to wrangle the convo with him and get him to stop trying to talk to me.
Once the marine bit was over l, the idiot kept talking about what he just read on facebook about celebrities and blah blah blah SHUT THE FUCK UP. NO ONE CARES ITS 6AM.
He asks me a direct question finally, and I just say “Im not on social media, wrong person to discuss it with”, and he gets a little off put and immediately goes into defense mode. Like “I wasn’t asking to add you; you dont need to lie”.
And I just said “well thats a relief” and he finally shut up for 5 minutes.
I look up again, and he’s AIMING HIS CAMERA across the bar at me, like he’s filming.
I give him the middle finger and the waitress steps in between, hands him the check and tells him its time to go.
Men. Fucking men. Cant even go enjoy a cup of coffee and make a server smile without a man feeling the need to insert himself. As someone who used to drive lyft and uber, i can attest; all marines small dick idiots who think that their patriotism excuses them from manners.
Nonnas if that video goes viral just know that middle finger is for all of us.
No. 1115733
>>1115718You're doing the best by ignoring them, it enrages them the most while also not
triggering them to attack you. I hope both of you never come across weird entitled men like that.
No. 1115797
File: 1648558771474.gif (177.37 KB, 240x200, 200-1.gif)
>>1115774I didn't wanna be a bitch on a thread for venting of all places, so I had to make do.
No. 1115928
>>1115879I did womens kickboxing years ago, I didn't get out much and thought that even chatting with women there would be another bonus. I was let down on that end when alot of women were there to lose weight for a wedding or upcoming event and weightloss was the only topic of conversation week in and week out. There was a whole lot of 'god I don't want to be here but muh wedding' going on that got annoying to listen to.
It was overall great for mental health though, relieved stress, I wasn't trying to lose weight but still did no matter how much I ate afterwards. More than anything I loved the feeling of arriving home after a class so exhausted that all tension had left mey body. Was too shattered to stress about anything. Got more endorphins off of that than regular gym exercise.
No. 1115955
File: 1648564766545.jpg (117.11 KB, 728x497, ccs christmas.jpg)
i think i am burnt out or something. or maybe its because my period is in two weeks. i got hit with a wave of depression two weeks ago. i dont want to work. i dont want to do college work. my hobbies feel like too much to partake in; everything does. obligations, schoolwork, work, getting exercise, trying to improve skills and partake in hobbies consistently. not to mention i feel like a loser because i havent even cultivated my hobbies to an amazing extent. i feel like i just never have time, but when i push myself really hard to be better i end up crying due to burn out. i cant not work, i cant not finish college because i want good money and to not rely on a man, but i still want to be successful in the thinsg i love. no friends. no purpose anymore. whats the use? im very tired. i dont want to talk to anyone! or do anything! im a loser either way! so why try. it hurts.
No. 1116042
File: 1648571709632.jpg (302.04 KB, 1800x1200, 7fce3d260576239c05a61e95c32f8d…)
Our uni has a special themed week where all students can dress up according to specific themes and celebrate their upcoming graduation together. There is this park nearby where our and neighboring schools party together to just simply enjoy time and our graduation. I am not someone who has friends in uni. I am a total loner and don't really talk to anyone in my courses besides few acquaintances who are just people I can say 'Hi!' to or just simply small talk with and nothing more. Few acquaintances convinced me to go to one of these parties since they didn't want to go alone and I (unfortunately?) went him them. Upon arrival I could already sense my mental health and thoughts getting worse since all of these people had so much fun and genuinely enjoyed the experience with their friends and shared some funny memories while I on the other hand stood there alone in a catatonic state with negative thoughts raging through my head with people I didn't knew. I don't know what happened with me but I simply cannot talk with people anymore . It feels like my personality just died-out and my will to live is being sucked out of me. My personality just vanished and I am nothing more than just a empty shell of someone I used to be. In hopes of at least seeing someone I knew I looked through the crowd since I was pretty certain she would be here with her friendgroup I already saw. And hey, I was right. But that conversation didn't make snap me out of my negative thoughts it rather did the opposite since I could notice how excited and happy she was and how she tried talking to me but failed due to my anxiety and awkwardness. She even tried to sneak me into some friend group of hers and well, I was standing with her friends but stood there like a complete idiot the entire time without saying anything. All of this made me realize how sad, sorrowful and just pathetic my life is. Not being able to even interact with people I know hurts me since it shows how boring and uninteresting I am. It's not only that but also seeing attractive people fitting into groups and enjoying life. I wish I could fit into a group and have a (close) circle of friends I can spend time and share happiness with. I wish I could do all of these things or at least have something going for me but instead I felt like a loner. Imagine attractive people partying and having fun and looking around yourself only to see the ugliest person on earth standing there lonely in the crowd. I wish I would have at least have something going for me. I wish I could have had a normal childhood and parents growing up so I wouldn't have to live through this misery and pain. When I look at other people I wonder to myself how lucky they must have gotten with the things and attributes they have while I wonder to myself what I have done to desereve this misfortune and pain. Everywhere I go I envy people and wish I could be like them. I just wish to hide inside my room but not even would fulfill me since my fear of missing out on is too big. I wish I could have my old personality and friends back and feel pretty for once. Nothing good has ever happened to me and things keep getting worse. I want to hide and don't want to be seen. I am deeply ashamed of me and my looks, ranging from head to toe and wish no one to ever look or gaze at me. Every thought inside of my head is negative. Will I ever break this cycle? Do I have the potential and privilege to feel pretty once? Will I ever be happy or satisfied with myself?
No. 1116183
File: 1648579098055.jpg (134.33 KB, 1124x1108, FNIFRgRWQAAbfrq.jpg)
>>1116042Being conventionally pretty takes work
nonny. Do you style your hair and do your makeup in a flattering way? Do you dress for your body? Do you do skin care, nail care, hair care? Do you exercise and eat healthy? Do you smell nice all the time? I used to think these kinds of things were dumb before but I went through similar experiences you had and I was breaking down from the loneliness almost every day. Only when I started taking measures to be my "prettiest" self did people start approaching me and treating me nicer and it made me hate myself less because it turns out I was capable of what I wanted all along. But if you want to be really liked by people, inner work is crucial. You have to be the kind of person you would want to hang out with. I used to think it was my fault, too; I can't help it if I'm always depressed because too many miserable things have happened to me. I can't help it if I'm boring because my life just consists of routines. But it turns out depression is more common than you think and almost everyone has a mundane or boring life. They just don't make it all about that aspect of their lives or simply make the best of their circumstances. If you think your childhood is holding you back from making friends or being social or having normal experiences, you can get help processing it through therapy or a related book or both. You can take antidepressants. Just know that you do have the potential to break the cycle and feel pretty and happy. It just takes effort. People in uni and the workplace who look so effortlessly pretty and sociable and put together actually take a lot of effort to appear the way they are.
No. 1116212
>>1116195As an anxious tard, I can absolutely relate to all of this. I hope this summer will be better for both of us
nonnie.
No. 1116245
>>1116215Man I wonder if that's why I woke up during my tonsillectomy, I did stop smoking like a couple days before but still, they didn't warn me about the anesthesia thing either.
I woke up and couldn't see or move my body but I could feel and I could hear the nurses talking and my throat hurt soooo fucking bad man.
I eventually managed to sorta grunt aught-er, trying to say water which I was told I couldn't have anyway in response lol but I didn't find it scary tbh.
No. 1116309
File: 1648585260626.jpeg (86.94 KB, 568x656, 1648391163316.jpeg)
I vented in the last thread about a dumping a guy who would always put me down but say he actually fell in love with me and so on. It was only a month long relationship but he presented me as his gf to his friends and was more attached to me than I was to him.
I'm a dumbass and I felt like I dumped him too harshly. After he begged to make me reconsider but suddenly negged me again about my looks, I lost my cool, said I didn't feel a spark physically (true) and I feel like he has poor confidence and has to gradually destroy and drag people down and I'm not into it.
I wanted to end on a better note than shit-slinging so I sent him a mostly positive last message today morning, light feedback and thanking for our time together, being sad it ended on such a bad note and wishing luck.
Nonnies, don't ever do this. He kept being quite sweet yesterday so I thought he's mature enough and he'd appreciate not ending in a nasty way. Some guys I dated did.
He sent me back the most vitriol-filled nasty message about my terrible character. He didn't specify what exactly was the terrible thing I said, but that he'd never want to be associated with someone who could say such things like I did and he's glad he found out this soon. And that I seem to have some issues stemming from my previous experiences and he doesn't want to know or solve them (I don't, never had a boyfriend who negged me or ever said a bad thing about my looks). It was such a sharp turn from what he was acting like before that it honestly made me really sick.
This was outright long and hateful as fuck.
I genuinely am not sure what he's talking about, asked him about it so I could apologise and said I'm sorry that he seems to want to just fight now. He didn't answer, only got offended at the last sentence.
I'm pretty sure he has nothing on me and he's just seething about being dumped for his looks after he tried to make me feel shitty for my looks. I feel like his heart got broken but I wanted to date him, only dumped him for his nonstop negging.
He's on ignore now. What a r/niceguy response from him. Genuinely didn't expect it. Should have. Men suck.
No. 1116315
>>1116309Sorry you had to find out the hard way
nonny. Don’t think on what he said about you one bit, it’s almost certainly nothing but projection.
No. 1116331
>>1116309Kek of course he was seething that he got a taste of his own medicine and also that you figured out what he was doing to you, also because he was projecting.
So glad you dumped and ignored him nona!
No. 1116502
File: 1648594118589.jpg (35.37 KB, 498x400, 6522222_0664.JPG)
>Moids being more triggered about Will being a cuck than him assaulting another moid
KEK typical, moids are fucking unhinged
No. 1116568
File: 1648598628313.jpg (23.46 KB, 512x453, l.jpg)
sitting like this at my desk is giving me varicose veins in my fucking thighs and it's extremely not daijobu
No. 1116617
File: 1648601886548.jpg (314.54 KB, 1042x1006, Vhggy vy653vcome.jpg)
>>1116572Searched pouf to find this thank you anon
No. 1116678
>>1116658Stick to your guns, kids are no guarantee you'll be looked after in your old age and it's selfish af to create life just for that sake. Has your mother ever considered that, if you did have kids, you could end up too busy with your own family to look after her? People really don't think this shit through.
Either way, with the childfree population increasing so rapidly we can assume the elder care and advocacy industry will get a massive boost. It's going to be profitable and in demand to have lawyers etc to manage your estate and keep an eye on your health, in a way it never was before because people had kids by default. I don't think it will be an issue if you plan for it.
No. 1116749
File: 1648611226497.jpg (55.25 KB, 1000x701, ew.jpg)
Even though I know my ex is going to dump his new gf in a couple of months when he gets bored (that narc discard phase is a bitch) I still feel so goddamn angry and hurt he even gets to experience this brief period of joy after fucking with my life and mental health for so long.
I also feel bad for the new girl. From what I've seen she seems so bright and interesting, exactly the type he likes to break down and leech off, and it makes my heart ache knowing what he's more than likely going to wind up doing to her. I've considered saying something to her, but he deleted all his messages to me before I could get any screenshots so I have no evidence and I'm certain he's already convinced her I'm insane and abusive, exactly what he convinced me his ex wife was like.
Also while I'm here and whining it's beyond cringe he's pretending to like slowcore and trailer park aesthetics to better match his trailer park-raised southern gf when he spent our entire relationship bitching about his "hick town" and how he hates all the "stupid rednecks" around him. What happened to being an alt-rock loving, wannabe city boy?
No. 1116773
>>1116753NTA but I’ve been there and honestly wouldn’t recommend. Depending on the ex’s level of narc sociopathy it’s not worth it. My ex was the same, a complete leech mentally and emotionally. I tried to warn his new gf after we broke up and in response she called me a jealous bitch and he had all his friends come after me and tell me what an awful bitter person I was. When he dumped her six months later she didn’t even reach out to me and apologise, just blocked me.
>>1116749Put yourself first anon, if interacting with your ex/his new girl would stress you out then don’t even bother. Odds are he’s probably already painted you as the “crazy ex” in her mind so not sure how effective it would even be.
No. 1116803
File: 1648616817044.jpeg (40.99 KB, 640x427, 1644900850275.jpeg)
my knee is so very swollen bcus i have extreme nightmares where i kick and punch fighting for my life and now i hobble around and its upsetting. however tonight a kind black man in walgreens at 11pm suggested i but some tiger balm which is a chinese scam but i bought it anyways bcus he showed me his own knee whic appeared to have been stabbed gruesomely many times and i have $12 to spare
No. 1116848
File: 1648620325085.jpeg (349.24 KB, 988x1510, 8FD318EB-CD6F-42D8-BC93-04B053…)
I hate living here. I hate the constant cops, drive bys, filthy roads, rampant drug use, homeless people everywhere, and run down buildings. Even the nice areas are peppered with gross huge homes with broken down cars in the driveway and dead grass. This hell is temporary but it’s whittling me down slowly into a stump.
No. 1116857
>>1116822Nothing wrong with dating younger guys. Theyre hotter too. Your bestie sound miserable as fuck. Women who stay with cheating
abusive moids are exhausting and stupid. I know its hard but i suggest you to just stop talking to her tbh
I recently ghosted my best friend of 8 years because i got tired of hearing about how shitty her moid is.
No. 1116859
>>1116809I care about you
nonny im always there for you please dont kill yoursef
No. 1116959
File: 1648626076529.jpg (6.08 KB, 248x203, images.jpg)
Fucking cp spamming moids. You need to be erased from this earth and I hope your dicks get stuck in a meat grinder
No. 1116973
>>1116959It's a bot
>>1116966As some anon said in other thread, it's photoshopped if it makes you feel better.
No. 1116979
>>1116974I've known pedos who'd post this shit to
trigger people, I'd send them hardcore gore and they'd shit themselves. I don't think these images are the worst you can see, to be honest, especially considering how they're shooped. I remember a bathtub girl gore that traumatized me for days, though, that's what I'd send pedos.
No. 1117010
>>1117005It was decayed corpses which do
trigger them because they don't view decayed corpses as sexual objects, even necrophiles don't.
>>1117007You can't report a person for just hitting on you when youre a minor. I'm not in America and even if I were, this happens on the daily so it wouldn't get cared about.
No. 1117015
>>1117009Nah definitely not. I was just replying to what you said kek.
>>1117010Grow up and understand that you aren’t doing the right thing. You are essentially abusing a persons body. It’s retarded behaviour and you’re even more retarded for getting defensive about it.
No. 1117018
>>1117015If the person is dead and the relatives aren't seeing what I'm sending, it's not abusing. On the other hand, cp is re-traumatizing
victims and you should shit on pedos who always have cp.
No. 1117026
>>1117019What
>>1117020 said, you have to be clear with her about how this makes you feel because I'm with you, I'd have dropped them for my best friend no hesitation.
No. 1117028
>>1117018This logic could be applied to the gore of murdered women that have been posted here, do you ever think about that?? If you want to freak them out send them pictures of botched troon surgery or a cut up dick, if you really
must engage with fucking pedophiles.
No. 1117031
>>1117028No because I only used pictures of people who had killed themselves and men. Surgery pictures aren't
triggering or offputting to most men, though so that wouldn't work either.
>>1117021I don't have a gore folder, I used to do this when I was young, as I mentioned. Like 11-12.
No. 1117044
>>1117038>>1117036yes but like a specific cut up dick (not necessarily faux-man made "vagina") would probably
trigger them because they identify with their dicks. have you not seen the visceral reactions most men get when they see another man have their balls and penises injured? it's possible any of these freaks would masturbate to anything but i would say like a mutilated penis would be the most offputting.
No. 1117049
>>1117046That image would disgust anyone, I think you can find it by googling but it's the worst gore I've ever seen.
>>1117044You're right but as I stated, I was like 11 when this happened and the only
triggering media I knew of was gore.
No. 1117052
File: 1648630249218.jpg (39.48 KB, 749x749, kek.jpg)
>>1117044What do you think a faux vagina used to be
nonnie?
No. 1117060
>>1117054It's not about suicide, they didn't find the corpse for a while so it's bloated. Don't look it up.
>>1117057That anon posted as if I was contradicting myself when I wasn't.
>>1117051If you die and there's no one around, police will take your pictures for invastigation. Most of those pictures then get leaked. I didn't take or leak the picture, though. Or even post it on a website to be viewed. There's a lot of people you can blame for the distribution of the said material, I'm not one of them.
No. 1117072
>>1117068She's not saying you
are a pedo nona, she's saying you're using the same excuses for posting gore that pedophiles use when they have CP
No. 1117078
>>1117076Not a religious
nonnie, but that's based
No. 1117081
>>1117073Yeah you're right but I didn't know how degenerate men were back then.
>>1117072Pedos don't distribute cp to scare adults who are creeping on them as kids. They use the images for deviant stuff and even to brainwash the kids they molest and stuff.
No. 1117127
>>1117103Some anon said so and I want to believe it's true.
>>1117113Some anon said the image was photoshopped and not real other anons agreed. I didn't want to look at it once again but I hope it's true, that'd kind of prove its a honeypot.
No. 1117140
>>1117094>>1117112There's bots who post spam to a list of imageboards with suspicious short urls, so it's not too far fet ched that this also happens with cp. There was a similar discussion about this on lainchan that a nonna posted here a few months ago because they have the same kind of awful problem.
Here
>>897770 No. 1117144
File: 1648637845164.jpg (336.24 KB, 1308x852, girlboss.jpg)
So I recently learned about Elizabeth Holmes after starting to watch The Dropout and although she probably is a sociopath, I find it weird how people are just dismissing the voice change she did as purely sociopath behaviour? I don't get it, we all know that the pitch of someone's voice can influence how we react or talk to them. High-pitched voices are typically sold as negative and feminine (although there's nothing wrong with that ofc) and ngl, I find myself raising the pitch of my voice when talking to certain people if I feel anxious or scared of them. I've been trying to fix this as I think I have a naturally hoarse deeper voice, I don't get why people are saying it's a sociopath trait to adjust your pitch of speaking, or manner of speaking.
I've also personally found that when I do use my lower-pitched natural voice I get less men talking to me like I'm a child or just a "dumb silly woman".
This shit is real, I don't support what Elizabeth did but I definitely cannot blame her for adjusting her voice to seem more commanding or confident, people who directly pin it as extreme mental illness are fucking stupid and have no idea what it's like to be in most industries as a woman, or just have any sort of "feminine" traits in general.
No. 1117148
>>1117144anon we are all aware of the how people change the pitch of their voices in daily life, many times without even noticing it but the the change in her voice was to such a ridiculous degree that it seemed clearly fake
its the type of voice TIMs end up sounding like when trying to attempt to sound female
No. 1117157
>>1117148No I agree nonna, her deep voice wasn't the most convincing in the world, my point was that the general public seem completely oblivious to the small things women do to be taken more seriously in most work industries. I've seen people pin her as a sociopath for the voice change alone and I just don't get it - not on lolcow, but both irl and on other social media.
>>1117152Kek honestly, if they want to call her a sociopath for the deep voice thing alone they might as well pin it on every woman who purposely adjusts her personality or appearance in the workplace to be more commanding or more 'masculine' because otherwise we just get talked to like we're silly dainty babies and also talked over/interrupted on the regular. It's real and I'm just kinda tired of the general public ignoring it and deciding to waffle on about sociopathy instead.
No. 1117173
File: 1648642668589.jpeg (35.98 KB, 640x640, DDEF388E-9A82-4180-9293-5B1F21…)
I wish I hadn’t woken up, I will never get hired, I want to die.
No. 1117177
File: 1648643179949.jpg (29.96 KB, 563x596, 15e273deb7e6719e50d3042777cc95…)
i'm leaving tomorrow to start my new job on friday and i'm terrified. i have to live in a hotel until my apartment is ready and i have to organize my move all by myself and the thing i'm most scared about is catching covid and having to quarantine in a fucking hotel room with only a hot plate and a tiny fridge in it. it doesn't help that i've been feeling mildly sick (like congested, sore throat, woozy) every morning for the past week. i hate it here. sometimes i wish i had never applied for the job.
No. 1117198
>>1117165Sounds a lot like my dead father who wasn't only a certified narcissist but also bipolar
alcoholic as well kek. it was a nightmare, everyone around you telling how funny and nice they are as you feel like you're losing your mind.
No. 1117218
>>1117195Swiping left for a long time through absolutely misshapen men with terrible photos makes me feel depressed and desperate. I can't do it for longer than a few minutes. I looked at women to see how they compare and their photos are miles better and they're much better looking.
Also finding your uni classmate or someone you know is like a cringe punch to gut.
No. 1117237
File: 1648648210419.gif (620.75 KB, 440x247, tumblr_mvrbc12xZr1sisy7qo2_500…)
>male whining
>"Ugh I have such a looooong day at woooork."
>That sucks, how long are you working today?
>"1100-1900, but it's a mid shift and it's sooooo haaaaaaard."
>mfw I work two jobs daily from 0800-2200 not counting one hour commute and no break between jobs and require stimulants to stay sane
Not flexing, just goes to show that men are tone deaf and stupid bitchers. Men have it soooooo hard gies!!!! If he wanted a better job he could get one easily being a white male as people would take him more seriously over a woman. But he doesn't want to apply because he only wants a specific niche job with all the bells and whistles he is not qualified nor has the experience to obtain.
Meanwhile I followed up on a promotion promised at my first job for being the workhorse after taking on projects and duties beyond my job scope. Instead I was gaslit that I wasn't promised anything then told to consider relying on my man, selling my home, and "being more proactive about my own career development." As if me taking on more work then inquiring about the promotion, and getting a second job related to my field wasn't doing precisely that.
And all that said just because I wanted to be compensated fairly like they would do for a man.
Clearly I'm a lazy female, please bully for my lack of iniative and work ethic /s
It does not pay to be a woman.
I imagine the praise and ass-kissing and mollycoddling I'd receive if I were a man with my kind of schedule and it makes me rage.
No. 1117245
File: 1648649211738.png (202.28 KB, 434x320, IMG_20220330_160607.png)
At this point I will never be able to afford a house, let alone a property. I'm so angry I could cry.
No. 1117269
File: 1648652650752.jpeg (17.54 KB, 300x250, 8DD3E620-C2B6-4DE2-BB79-251760…)
Being bulimic is destroying my life but I can’t afford therapy
No. 1117271
>>1117267Do you have a job with dental insurance? Even the shittiest plans will often cover some portion of the work at least once a year. It would take a few years, but at least you could progress towards something. Also look up dental schools near you if insurance isn't an option, they're willing to offer low rates and sometimes even payment plans.
Nuclear options is saving up enough money for dental tourism. Fly to another country and get a massive amount of quality dental work done for a fraction of the price. It's just not an accessible option for everyone due to research, budget, time off, and travel.
As a fellow murrican, I am also sick of dental coverage shit. Dentists are making bank.
No. 1117276
>>1117272Would it do any good to report him? Unprompted tirades about women and dating would seem to fall into the realm of sexual harassment but I don't know if you work in an environment that would care or even if they could enforce it if they have policies that do punish such thing.
I'll never forget showing up my first day to a "good old boys" job and the resident pervert showing me a picture of a naked, body builder tranny with bolt-ons. Bet had I made a fuss I would've caught a difficult label early on and ribbed for not being able to take banter. Greasey fucks tend to abuse when they know their targets can't realistically retaliate.
No. 1117282
>>1117276Unfortunately not. He’s one of the better ones. He’s just too comfortable sometimes and a little bit of an autist.
It would probably just get me fired.
No. 1117297
File: 1648655252227.gif (309.47 KB, 480x370, lhju7bRxT81qb0z5e.gif)
Once again the clothes I ordered don't fit. None of the clothes I like ever fit me, I fucking hate being tall, I would rather be short and fat than troon sized.
No. 1117299
>>1117293If you're worried about the side effects of hormonal BC (which is justified), you can look into herbs, supplements, or lifestyle changes. The PMDD subreddit has a rundown of what works and what doesn't, but it is ultimately up to your unique body chemistry and it can unfortunately take some trial and error. What's helped me out tremendously with the same issue is eating clean and within my target caloric range, getting aerobic exercise in the two weeks leading up to menstruation, taking magnesium before bed, and sometimes taking evening primrose oil or raspberry leaf. For general anxiety relief, you can try chamomile and/or lavender tea or damiana, and avoiding stronger caffeine sources like coffee and energy drinks. I noticed my pre-period anxiety was at its worst when I was more underweight, and it started to go away once I gained more weight. Also, hormonal BC can sometimes make mental/emotional problems even worse, and this is anecdotal but I felt crazier while I was on it, even on a 'low doseage' progestin IUD. Good luck,
nonnie.
No. 1117381
File: 1648660482662.png (1.26 MB, 1239x694, me rn.png)
last night i dreamt about my mom beating me (she did it once), and i decided to pack my stuff and run away (i haven't lived with my family or even seen my mom in 2 years)
then i woke up to a crow squaking and fell back asleep
then dreamt i was taking a vacation in ukraine and i had to evacuate. me and some other americans went to a gymnasium where people fleeing were staying and guards were patting people down for weapons.
one guard was groping the girl before me who was hiding a knife in her underwear. after he was done she was sobbing. when he got to me i said just make it quick, and he groped me and told me to undress, and i said can we do it away from everyone else.
he took me outside to a secluded area and made me undress/bend over. he raped me, then another guard came and forced me to suck his dick.
then i woke up to my roommate waking me up because i slept through my alarms
i think i dreamt about being raped because i had dreamt about my mom beating me and usually when i wake up from one nightmare i have another, but this time i was really horny afterwards despite being deeply upset and disturbed, and, i feel disgusted in myself for this, but i masturbated after. i tried thinking about my boyfriend, but ended up orgasming when the thought of being raped in my dream popped into my head.
i was brutally raped when i was 15 by an older guy (he never was caught), and, maybe as a coping mechanism, i had a habit of fantasizing about fat ugly old guys raping me. i have cptsd from being raped, and i can't have sex without crying. often when i orgasm, i cry and sometimes the crying turns into a full blown ptsd episode.
i used to look at doujins of the fat ugly old rapist nature before i met my current boyfriend, and then i stopped because i had felt so ashamed of it for so long and wanted to only fantasize about loving, romantic sex with my boyfriend when i masturbate. my boyfriend knows i was raped, but doesn't know i used to fantasize about it or look at doujins.
i just feel so disgusted and ashamed of myself. i feel like i'm hiding something from my bf for not wanting him to know these things, but i think it would just make him insecure. we tell eachother everything so it feels like a lie to hide it, which is why i'm venting here because i don't want to tell him but need to get it off my chest.
i think i'll take this as a lesson to not let myself think about those things again because all it does is make me remember being raped and feel ashamed and disgusted.
No. 1117393
>>1117297You'd rather have to hem every single pair of pants you buy and then risk dresses looking like bags? I'm not even the shortest of the hobbits (5'3) but I always have niche fit problems. Being tall is attractive and awesome, the grass is always greener, etc.
The only women who got off lucky are the average ones, not too tall or short. Not too skinny or overweight. Their only problems are lack of attention from not being an outlier that people either mock or fetishize, and even then averageness is subjective and contextual.
No. 1117424
>>1117144I think it's because it was way too deep, and it just sounded fake. Also it's a whole other piece in her ~carefully constructed image~ so it intrigues people.
>>1117152This shit makes me so mad. It's so common in midwit media discussion/analysis spaces.
>Is x character is a psychopath or a sociopath?!?!?!1Fucking neither. Reminds me of the Shane Dawson Jake Paul "documentary".
No. 1117425
File: 1648662748895.jpg (207.15 KB, 1080x1031, Screenshot_20220330-134911_Chr…)
Saw that there's a bunch of places selling shirts with this mantra and I can't imagine why someone who isn't a narc prone to gaslighting would want this product. On top of being cringey, it's just such a bizarre hill to die on. Like yeah, I agree a lot of people throw the word "gaslighting" around too non-chalantly, but this whole "gaslighting is not real" stance I have seen some people take is just retarded and I don't see what anyone has to gain from denying it exists unless they themselves do it.
No. 1117470
File: 1648664603884.jpg (77.52 KB, 1000x667, 20220329_222823.jpg)
Starting to feel kinda resentful at being born with a bunch of non-lethal yet chronically discomforting health issues. It took years to be treated for Wolf Parkinson White Syndrome. I'd have an abnormally fast heartbeat for up to half a day as an 11 year old. My stepfather would just say I needed to start working out. I wasn't even fat???
I'm also unable to burp and I'm hoping to get that fixed soon. I'm tired of being a permanently bloated, flatulent mess. The worst part is the difficulty in breathing.
No. 1117499
File: 1648666178774.jpg (8.59 KB, 252x159, 1596674638879.jpg)
Everytime I make the mistake of scrolling reddit or insta I see the most draining shit.
>"We've been together for 20 years and have 6 kids together, I don't think I'm ever gonna get married lololol"
bitch stop fucking deluding yourself.
>"she got an std while pregnant? Nah this immobile pregnant person cheated or they must be swingers. Yes it's perfectly rational for this to be my first conclusion even though I learned this porn term a week ago." disgusting
>"I'm so sorry for assuming my dad is cheating on my mom and not knowing my parents are in an open relationship at 14 years old! I'm sorry everyone pls forgive me I promise to do better"
an example of pornsick society
The news spews 24/7 stories of people dying in crashes or gun violence or the 3rd woman killed by her boyfriend this week, all starting at 9am. Druggie crackheads recommending LSD to 15yos, incel troon fantasies, opinions on celebrity bullshit, your fav artists turning out to be pedos or makeup hoes you follow for hairstyle inspo being in Asian fetish empowurd devine wumyn sex cults run by old white men. I hate 99% of this soulless internet age, knowledge really is power and a curse.
No. 1117552
>>1117456If your hormones are out of balance it could be increasing your cortisol and that could be part of the issue.
Not enough B12, Vitamin D and magnesium make mine worst. There’s a stretch for your neck and shoulder that helps relax that tendon that runs down the sides. I can’t remember what it’s called off the top of my head.
It could also be dehydration. Do your feet ache in the morning? That’s normally why tips me off if it’s a water issue.
The reason I asked if you were on the spectrum is I am and my therapist helped me realize a big part of migraines after the initial hormone and vitamin deficiency was over stimulation. So dark warm showers in the middle of the day and some ear plugs that cancel out background noise but not taking at the grocery store. Wearing comfortable clothes and a bunch of other little changes made a big difference.
Do you know what kind of headache your getting? Or does it change?
No. 1117572
File: 1648669886841.jpeg (82.79 KB, 363x331, 5B316652-6F5B-4870-A438-ADAEA5…)
I accidentally farted at work while stood right next to a colleague. It wasn’t that loud but I noticed they moved away slightly and I keep overthinking it. Shall I just kill myself?
No. 1117581
>>1117448I have no idea what my b12 levels are lmao
Never thought of ketosis for this. Sounds super difficult to get your body to actually do ketosis but hey, might as well try right
No. 1117691
File: 1648674017300.jpeg (35.95 KB, 456x400, 6EC76E06-512C-4540-A1ED-D64C43…)
I just want a friend to watch MLP, Molly McGee, Arthur, and Big City Greens and sperg about them with. She could also tell me if I should watch The Owl House.
No. 1117708
File: 1648675091813.jpg (28.19 KB, 500x381, Co0zx8mWIAA7ynz.jpg)
>>1117691idk much about the other shows you mentioned, but it's nice to see another nona likes arthur. rewatched most of it recently (loved it as a child, was an escape from my shitty upbringing) and wish creepy male autists weren't the only ones discussing it online
No. 1117709
>>1117702Talk to a therapist about it. Having someone die can
trigger bad memories when you're grieving or dealing with the loss of chance of resolution with that person. If that makes sense.
No. 1117720
>>1117702This happened to me too,
nonny. She didn't die but I still think about her and am hurt and ashamed by it even now and get really upset when she comes up. You should talk to someone
No. 1117723
File: 1648675777951.jpeg (64.45 KB, 496x375, 23A4AF94-10D2-4EC1-950B-147F3D…)
>>1117708Oh
nonny, my beloved! I was always jealous of how Arthur and his friends got to live so freely, going where they please and being themselves. I think Arthur is the best cartoon ever made, maybe even one of the best shows ever made period. I started listening to the Elwood City Limits podcast a couple years ago, and it started out funny but then they kept talking about rap, anime, and wrestling and I just gave up.
No. 1117761
File: 1648679291163.jpg (73.4 KB, 750x749, original[1].jpg)
I strongly believe that the day when everyone mass peak and turns against the troon cult is getting closer, but I wish it could be sooner, every time I think that progress is being made more craziness appears.
No. 1117766
Had a really awful experience buying something recently. I bought a 'lot' of items at a local auction, I occasionally do this when I catch them because sometimes there's something good in them, something I can give my family. You usually don't know what you are getting until you go inspect it, it's putting a number against a bunch of items, and the only notification on what you get is a text saying 'You won, come pick it up' until you physically go there and inspect the items.
This time I did it, and the day after the auction ended; I started getting strange phone calls from a range of people who were barely legible and barely sober. At first, I was worried. I call up the original auctioneer who presided over it and found out the dumb scrote had been giving out my phone number to his buddies, and they have been picking through my lot. (pretty sure this is against the rules). One phone call consisted of "HIya I'm (Some random person I've never met in my life) I'll have that there laptop of yours see you in the morning" of which this was the first time I knew there was a laptop there. I said "Let me please go look at what I have and we'll talk about it." I show up the next day due to a doctor's appointment, and all of my items are spread out on a table, clearly picked through, with numbers attached to them. Thankfully, I didn't see anything stolen, but that woman was also there, and the first words out of her mouth are.
>"Yo I'm gonna give you the bid on that laptop ok?"
>"What laptop?"
>"Don't worry about it, here's $200, that's what you paid for it, I'll just take it now."
>"Wait, I'm not sure, I was wanting to give this to my mother-"
>"No it's fine you got some other stuff it's Ok I'll be taking it now bye"
>"Y-you too."
Turns out that laptop was worth $600 easy and my only glimpse into that was the maybe 30 seconds I saw of it perched atop my pile of picked through goods.
I've been pissed off ever since. Like, why am I such a spineless retard? Why do I let everyone take advantage of me? I may as well have not bid on it, and at least then I wouldn't have had this horrible experience. The last time I'm ever trying this, ever again. I feel so used and broken. I don't even know why, it's not even about the laptop anymore but just how I'm fucking abused and thrown away at everyone else's whims and how I'm too spineless to stand up for myself.
It's fucking petty but it's eating me up inside to think about it.
No. 1117785
>>1117783There is, and I could do that.
I'm not sure if it would make me feel better about it, though.
No. 1117792
File: 1648681038489.gif (2.12 MB, 190x224, 679-GR890-ES2-D1-G.gif)
what's the point in acting like a mature adult when no one takes me seriously anyway? if everyone's going to treat me like a retarded child forever regardless of what i do, how i act, dress, etc. then i might as well act like one. they won't care, it makes no difference
No. 1117794
>>1117790I'm thinking this is the correct way to act and the fact I tried to act professional is what let people realize that I was weak and could be taken advantage of.
I have this happen a lot.
No. 1117799
File: 1648681493003.jpg (97.84 KB, 660x660, Tumblr_l_172481252628941.jpg)
>>1117785Do it, fuck em, it's enough for a lawsuit imo. Just post this
>Auction disclosed my personal information and private number to prank caller and harassers>Auction accessed my lot and allowed 3rd parties to view my items before me and pick through them>Auction allowed a 3rd party to take an item from me, claiming they were buying it from me when the actual value of the item was more than 3x the amount they handed to meFuck their business, cost them customers. Use an anonymous Google account for the review.
No. 1117810
File: 1648682457476.jpeg (53.86 KB, 749x706, F33C3966-D142-468E-AA5D-A9B89A…)
I finally have something to vent about in my boring life. I’m a college anon and I feel extremely left out of my group project, no one is outright mean but holy shit I really don’t want to be assertive just for some dumb little project you plaster on your portfolio at the end of the year to get internships. I feel excluded no matter where I go I guess that’s just the way it is for me, but it’s really annoying having to cry over something so minuscule and feel deja vu all over again, those past memories of being in middle and high school, that’s what it reminded me of and I’m tired of it. Sure it’s not boyfriend or husband drama or venting about my crackhead roommate but it just really upset me, I fucking hate someone that I’ve never really even talked to, but their entire vibe is just so off putting to me. Makes no sense
No. 1117814
>>1117504I'm a lesbo from a muslim shithole so I know exactly how you feel. I'm actually currently planning to do a Masters in France by the end of this year if everything goes well. I wanted to go last year right after I graduated so I could go with my friends but I wasn't able to afford it and that made me so mad. I understand your frustration with that horrible feeling of getting years of your life wasted on a country that doesn't want you.
Unis in France are much cheaper than in the US (the one that accepted me costs like 240€ a year lol, normally it's ~3700€/y which is still relatively cheap) and there are several universities that offer masters courses that are fully in English, especially in STEM degrees, so you don't have to be fluent in French.
I know it's hard to wait, waiting until I graduated + a year of work made me feel like my life stagnated. But I'm finally getting close to my goal and I'm glad I did wait because I am much more mature now and will handle myself better when alone, plus I saved up a bit so I won't have to work part time during my studies. All good in the end. Don't give up anon! We'll both leave and live our best lesbian lives kek
No. 1117832
>>1117827i love you,
nonny.
No. 1117853
>>1117826Didn’t we all
nonnie? Stock up on those wine bottles
No. 1117892
File: 1648689344341.jpg (110.88 KB, 1920x1200, White-and-black-cats-hugs-and-…)
>>1117470>Starting to feel kinda resentful at being born with a bunch of non-lethal yet chronically discomforting health issues.v relatable anon-chan, i have a lot of issues that i dont think most people would consider a massive deal if they even had heard of them, but its caused a lot of self hatred and constant discomfort for me
i rly hope u can figure out your burping issue and become more comfortable
>My stepfather would just say I needed to start working out. I wasn't even fat???moids r so dumb
i recommend learning as much as you can about anything abnormal with your body yourself, as women its harder to get good help and its important to be able to help ourselves as much as possible. good luck!
No. 1118013
File: 1648701810836.jpeg (40.72 KB, 360x354, 5BE39C71-84AB-4DC0-8F5A-683A57…)
I had surgery on my wrist last year and I had to start physical therapy a few months later. They wanted me to come in for 2 appointments a week but I wasn’t able to get that kind of time off from work. I told them the best I could do was maybe once a month and they said I could but it would probably not result in much coming in so infrequently. I ended up only going to 2 appointments and now I’m really paying the price for it. My wrist has been so painful for the last few months and I have an ortho appointment coming up to talk about it. I’m so scared my doctor is going to tell me to go back to PT but I just don’t have that kind of time in my schedule. My work refuses to accommodate the amount of time off I’d need to go to the appointments. I hate this.
No. 1118045
File: 1648705420927.jpeg (73.13 KB, 828x790, 3A8A61FB-7A7E-403D-AA0F-E13E7F…)
Nonnas, I’m desperate here. For the last 4 years I’ve had PMDD-like symptoms and they truly just keep getting worse. Every cycle i’m getting more and more suicidal and unmotivated to do anything. The last 7 months have been absolute hell and I’ve relapsed on SH after being clean for 5 years. I’m at my lowest, I feel totally useless as it’s like my own body is trying to kill me? I don’t know. For three weeks now I’ve been sliding down a spiral and just crying on my bedroom floor and locking myself in my bedroom like a child. I just can’t take it anymore and I don’t even know how to go about trying to treat it so I can actually live my fucking life somewhat normally.
No. 1118055
File: 1648706713400.jpg (169.04 KB, 340x306, SXY1lOn.jpg)
My dad pissed off my mom. She's super into the qanon stuff. My mom starts in about the big well houses, my dad works on them sometimes, and he snapped at her. She then continues getting angry at him when he then snaps again commenting that she blindly trusts her sources. She's going to be unbearable tomorrow and probably watch rumble all day. Please pray for what little is left of my sanity.
No. 1118065
i want all pedophiles, disgusting rapists to be tortured endlessly forever. i hate how i was self-hating and nearly friendless still after being rescued because of my rapist abusers. how dirty i felt and how christianity made me feel that i deserved it somehow. i even used to cry about how i would no longer be a virgin for my boyfriend. i believed people could somehow tell i had that done to me and hate me for it. what insanity. i forgot their insults but they came back to me as internal thoughts and shame. the beatings were the least worse, at least the adrenaline made me immune to that and pass out when that happened. passing out was nice because i did not feel anything anymore. i wanted to die so bad but i had to help my baby brother. they did not feed me until i kept passing out. then they gave me some dried bread i could barely open my mouth to eat because i got lockjaw from them forcing me. they wanted to make me believe i spent 3 years there. telling me all sorts of things to make me feel abandoned, guilty and worthless, and teaching me to be a slave and a prostitute. disgusting things beyond your imagination. i thought i was blind for months because i was too scared to open my eyes. i wished death on them everyday. then one day because of how they treated me i never could wash myself, which made them and LUCKILY a "customer" disgusted so much that he didn't pay. that's when these disgusting idiots thought they would tell me to lie to the cops. that he broke into our home and suddenly started raping us. those monsters were dumber than i, a traumatized child. i screamed for help and told the cops to get me away from them. i battled hiv for like 8 years and got split personality/post traumatic stress syndrome. they rot in hell for all eternity, regardless of any religion, hell and endless pain should come to them. not only i was traumatized but my parents, who tried their best helping me but we kept triggering each other. i even traumatized friends because i just wanted to be understood. but then their parents told them not to talk to me. fuck you all who think a traumatized person should deal with that on their own. i wish i would have seen it sooner and not go crazy trying to figure out why some friends did not invite me or reach out almost ever. because even hearing of those things vaguely was traumatizing. it pisses me off to this day how i would be associated with the rapist so much that people get second hand pain from me trying to vent. if you are reading this and think i am dirty, i don't care, you are. you are a brittle, weak, selfish little asshole who doesn't even know how to process empathy. i am 20 now i don't tell this to people in real life because i know how frail they are, i am going to therapy. but fuck how trauma fucks up relationships because you have to explain why you're shaking and crying after a flashback, or why you laughed at a rape joke.
No. 1118074
>>1117766This made me so angry to imagine, anon that sucks. I agree with what
>>1117790 said, you have to learn to be fucking unhinged. I would’ve been screaming at people, calling my bank, reporting them for theft, the whole shitshow. The way i see it is, if you’re a woman complaining about unfair treatment you’ll get called a karen regardless, and if you try to be fair you’ll be taken advantage of, so sometimes you have to go full karen. It’s worked for me so far, a bunch of people i will never have to interact with again probably hate my guts but idgaf
No. 1118099
>>1118084Sure I believe it sometimes happens to men too but almost always it happens to women and like
>>1118086 said played off as "no big deal"
I don't wish rape on anyone tho
No. 1118111
File: 1648711623701.jpeg (2.57 MB, 4032x3024, EADEC6C9-DC6A-4306-AC30-7A286B…)
Some stupid tranny I used to be friends with in high school blocked me on Twitter after trying to rekindle our old friendship. I don’t care about him as a person since he’s a pornsick narcissistic autistic scrote.
I’m a stupid bpdchan who hates rejection so any form of it hurts me for some reason.
If the old guy who raped me when I was four told me I was the worst he’d ever had I’d probably cry. That’s how fucked up I am.
I don’t know how to make this annoying hurt go away besides continue to pretend nothing happened while seething on the inside
No. 1118118
>>1118111Lol did you like anything
problematic at all that would have
triggered him? I've also been ghosted by a TiM for very minor cases of wrongthink.
As a suspected bpdfag myself, I have to say a lot of every day people these days sure exhibit bpd-like behavior just with being block happy over nothing. Then again troons are hardly normal
No. 1118157
File: 1648716007270.png (38.68 KB, 400x245, 01FA906D-BDD8-46F9-83E8-803EA3…)
I want to blank all men in the blank and blank. Every single one of them deserve it for something.
No. 1118163
File: 1648716790628.jpeg (92.47 KB, 861x647, ECBAE4F3-0297-43B2-8A82-35C9D9…)
>>1118118I’ve always been upfront about being a
terf but he’s liked me since we’ve known each other which was in high school and that was over ten years ago. He ended our friendship a few years ago because our dynamic was
toxic and recently came crawling back. He came to the same conclusion about the toxicity thing because of the way I responded to his long winded misogynistic rant about witchy/astrology girls. He called them delusional and I said like trannies lmao
>>1118136>>1118144Thank you sweet nonnas. I know rationally it’s a stupid thing to get hung up on but my retard Bpd brain doesn’t listen to logic. Don’t worry I won’t do anything stupid. I’m pretty good at seething in silence. I think that’s why it took so long for doctors to catch my Bpd. Unfortunately I don’t have insurance anymore so I can’t see specialist, but hearing more voices of reason really helped. Again thank you so much I greatly appreciate y’all’s input!
No. 1118278
File: 1648727932447.jpg (78.1 KB, 500x484, f4n3c5x71s371.jpg)
>abusive ex boyfriend has been harassing me for 7 years
>wakes me up in the middle of the night like 4 nights per week
>spoofs numbers and somehow finds mine no matter how many times I get it changed
>pigs just keep saying to ignore him because he's extremely careful to word texts so that they aren't threats, so they can't do anything, supposedly
>he was only emotionally and psychologically abusive, so that's okay, that's all my fault, right? right.
>wake up this morning to a call and a text that says "I miss you so much"
>interesting
>the last 56 messages were about how disgusting and lazy and evil I am and how you want my family to die in the brush fires this year
>you know what
>you know what you fucking fat faggot
>have not responded to him once in 6 years
>this morning
>I CHIMP the fuck out
>explain to him in explicit detail that I know for a fact he wishes his mother had killed him
>explain why he's miserable in a way that he absolutely could fix, but he never will
>keep going
>he says "I'm blocking you"
>feel like I'm being fucking electrocuted with power
>go to his main spoof number
>keep texting him nightmare-mode shit about his life
>he says "You're blocked here too now; fucking stop"
>I have never felt so powerful in my entire fucking life, I'm sorry to say
>start spamming each of his numbers with "You're mommy never loved you"
>presumably he keeps blocking, but this retarded asshole has made literally hundreds of numbers
>just go down the list spamming him
>literally taking a break from spamming him as I type this
>he said he's crying and he hates me and wants nothign to do wit hme
>I cannot be stopped anymore
ANyone want me to say anythign particular to him? I will literally send your vents to past ex bfs to him and look completely schizo, idc, I am having the best time rn
No. 1118294
File: 1648729217650.jpg (142.24 KB, 1140x1110, 1583392152946.jpg)
>>1118278HE SAID HE'S TURNING HIS FUCKING PHONE OFF, THIS IS ALL IT TOOK THE WHOLE TIME????
No. 1118303
File: 1648729928765.jpg (156.95 KB, 638x632, tumblr_b024755c48f4c8dbe766fc1…)
>>1118278FUCK YES NONNA, FUCK THAT GUY
No. 1118336
>>1118045How are your vitamins nonni? Start there focus on the ones that effect female mood and hormones the most. B12, D, Iron. Minerals like magnesium and selenium. Make sure you’re eating consistently near your cycles. Avoid waiting and eating one meal at the end of the day. Drink lots of water.
Don’t know if this helps but the way I stopped SH years ago was changing the impulse when it got too overwhelming. Your brain is seeking endorphins because it’s telling you something is wrong and it’s in pain. So I took tweezers and slowly pulled out my armpit hair. Every time I couldn’t help it. Then eventually I stopped altogether. Please don’t cut or burn yourself. It’s more dangerous and you risk seriously injuring yourself.
You can try herbs like don quai, mugwort, red raspberry, and the like to help balance and promote your cycle. And use stuff like a little saffron oil to boost serotonin. Kiwis before bed. You can get through this nonni.
No. 1118342
File: 1648733897034.jpg (Spoiler Image,152.3 KB, 1312x1312, GettyImages-139541971-1f2cdfcf…)
>>1118329no I love skeletons and I love looking at pictures of skeletons. don't unspoiler this.
No. 1118346
>>1118329Yes that thread pic is creepy, I hid it.
>>1118337This, stay safe nona.
No. 1118347
File: 1648734115189.jpg (76.66 KB, 1300x1300, 87867880-cute-girl-skeleton-is…)
>>1118329Boo! Does this scare you, nona?
No. 1118355
>>1118278Good for you nonita, chimping back is the only way I got my
abusive ex to stop harassing me as well.
For years he'd do the same things like harass me repeatedly via throwaway emails. He would say things that over time really hurt my self-esteem. He actually did make physical threats against me and sent psychotic videos like slashing a knife at the camera and shit, but this was a decade ago and cops especially didn't give a fuck then. They just told me to get a new email and phone number. Pigs don't care about us until we're dead and even then it's not always their problem.
And by "chimping" I mean I had to say shit to really fucking embarass him. The pitfall that women fall for is that society expects us to take the "higher road," but it's between your mental and physical well-being versus a scrote…well you know what to do. Anyways, he was popular on an incel forum where he'd frequently link me so I could see the awful threads he made about me. One day I got so fed up and pissed off I told him off on every single platform and made up rumors on his sites about how much of a literal faggot he was. Embarassing stuff that didn't actually happen, but he said a lot of stuff about me that wasn't true either so I had no remorse. I went on a shitpost campaign like it was my job. His incel friendos lapped up the drama as he denied it, and the more he adamantly denied it the more they trolled him about it. Became something of a Streisand effect, and before long he was back to self-loathing and crying about being bullied that he no longer talked shit. Years later he sincerely apologized, but idc he's only sorry because I bruised his ego and reaped the consequences of messing with me.
Sorry to talk about myself, all this to say that I'm proud of you cause it's really the only way.
No. 1118436
>>1118408Im not offended nor a larper.
Its just funny how anon is delusional kek if youre a woman then you will be fetishized for your mental illness. You can bash larpers all you want but your mental illness will always be invalidated no matter what.
>>1118407Youll still be fetishized. Do you feel special?
No. 1118445
>>1118436but in this sense you will simply be fetishized for being a woman, so you are not arguing for being fetishized due to mental illness because you are simply fetishized for your condition as a woman regardless. Also, I don't know how the fuck you turned my vent into an argument about women when everything I said there's a lot of TIKTOK multiple personality disorder LARPERs or people wearing mental illness like a pair of pants like pixie locks while I'm here with my head full of thoughts, having to take a mouth full of pills and pretending I'm normal or just a little bit depressed daily when I've been on the verge of killing myself for 12 years. Again, you're not even making an argument, you are just saying
women get fetishized but women do not get fetishized for being mentally ill, women get fetishized for simply being their gender. You are so nonempathetic you had to turn my entire vent into WOMEN ARE FETISHIZED are you sure you aren't turning into a moid while trying to claim a morally superior position? Also, fuck the LARPERs and the attention whores. Sorry, my mental illness will be invalidated because I actually am mentally ill, but if I were some tik tok kid pretending to have 20 personalities I would be validated.
No. 1118470
File: 1648741073244.jpeg (29.28 KB, 436x413, 9D39F0E0-2696-405E-AC04-96708D…)
>>1118445Sorry
nonny i just got emotional. I have autism and adhd (got diagnosed as a kid) and whenever i scroll tiktok i see women and men always targetting young girls and saying theyre faking it (even if they have a diagnosis) and its just depressing because ive had people assume my autism isnt real because im trying very hard to be normal so i guess i “hide” it pretty well .Same shit with self harm, people will always assume girls are doing it for attention (even tho they have depression or some shit) whereas when a moid does it suddenly its “WAHHH HES DEPRESSED”.
I understand your vent is about larpers and im sorry for my autistic reply. Carry on with your vent nonna
No. 1118502
File: 1648742052468.jpg (69.16 KB, 640x905, yz2pky91eih71.jpg)
>>1118470it's ok we can hug. I also understand where you are coming from, women get dismissed or simply diagnosed with
BPD although self harming is a symptom of PTSD or general abuse. It's also annoying how scrotes just say
wahhh look at our suicide statistics it's not my fault you're a weak ass pussy that commits suicide after a couple of inconveniences and expects everything handled to them. Anyway, I was talking about something else in my post, there's clearly individuals that exaggerate their mental illness for attention or because it has become a competition or they're showing it off on social media exactly as if it were an accessory. Suicide
victims I've met went completely silent before they've done it. I also hide my illness, because obviously I do not see it as something to be treasured, I do not completely hide it. I am open about it, but I try my best to be normal.
No. 1118549
File: 1648745681859.gif (41.86 KB, 127x90, aneurysm.gif)
I wake up everyday and do my stupid bullshit, everything in our apartment is dirty, my room is a travesty and for the first time in my life i dont seem to care. I'm a NEET but I dont want to be but i cant imagine working - suffering and disappointing everyone in my path, being a fucking stain on everyone's eyes, who the fuck cares about someone who graduated high school and did NOTHING for a year? I don't want to move into the boonies but I might have to resort to that because my mother wants to move there anyways, i cant imagine living there i just cant. My bf doesnt fucking deserve me, he works his ass off and loves me so much its unbelievable and i dont do shit for him. What am i doing here. I wake up and i want to go back to sleep even if ive slept for 20 hours, my dreams are so much more vivid and make me want lo live so much more than my actual life will ever make me feel. I dont enjoy a single second of it, I am such a drain on society its unbelievable, im a drain im a drain im a drain im a drain im a drain im a drain i cant take it anymore i want to scream until my throat bleeds
No. 1118570
File: 1648746510515.png (2.81 KB, 640x400, 584606-jet-dos-screenshot-game…)
I'm back in escapism mode again. Been doing nothing for several weeks even though I have a long list of things to do, the dishes are unwashed, I haven't taken a shower in several days, haven't washed my hair even longer and it itches af, have dozens of unanswered messages and calls on my phone that I can't be fucked to answer and also procrastinating on job search. I just can't do reality
No. 1118576
>>1115672Samefag.
Post office wrote me an email that someone would come and pick up my packages today. No one came AGAIN. I'm gonna rip them a new one.
No. 1118586
File: 1648747876186.jpeg (572.13 KB, 750x802, A0AC507E-6FB1-46C7-8201-6BE07F…)
What the fuck is my problem?? How can I undo this??? I don’t act on those “women are competition” intrusive thoughts but I have them all the same. It’s so shameful and anxiety inducing. I subconsciously compare myself even to women whom I genuinely love and admire. Thoughts like “anyone would choose an amazing woman like that over you”. And the neuroticism just gets ten fold when I can see that the other woman does in fact view other women as competition. I have genuinely brain damage from patriarchy bro. I’m part of the reason why we will never be free.
No. 1118594
>>1118586Men force them upon women and although they're
toxic, most women have them. Firstly see women as people who look glammed up and basic depending on occasion, we as women aren't supposed to look perfect all the time and that's ok.
Then realize that women's beauty shouldn't define their worth and that their appearance isn't what defines them. Then that even if some woman was more beautiful or ugly, it won't have any significant difference to how she treats you or how you should treat her.
No. 1118601
File: 1648748446968.jpg (108.03 KB, 1024x1453, merman_by_yona_art_ddulhjh-ful…)
Im sick of life, im sailing off to the sea to find my Merman husbando.
No. 1118635
File: 1648749403195.png (388.86 KB, 586x419, merman.png)
>>1118601Your headcannon is annoying, you want your cake and to eat it too, your Luca-milquetoast fantasy is too unrealistic. Fishmen I can accept but "they are magic and can become normal men at will" I cannot abide
No. 1118640
File: 1648749663128.png (1.18 MB, 1280x1467, 1634026228037.png)
>make an internet acquaintance through a hobby of mine and seemingly vibe greatly with them
>turns out it's a tif
No. 1118643
File: 1648749781278.jpg (216.11 KB, 690x980, pp3d6vgfemq61.jpg)
>>1118635Noonie i-i…They rarely can change to full human form, its a once in a new moon type of thing so we will have sexy time only once a year.
i crie
(>>>husbando thread) No. 1118704
>>1118675Stacy problem lol but seriously
>no straight man ever asks a woman for her number so you they can schedule dinner just to become close platonic friendsWhy they insist on acting like we’re stupid. They just look so fucking insecure. Even the ones who are like “okay let’s be friends first” end up never hitting you up unless it’s another pretext for sex.
No. 1118717
File: 1648753851278.jpg (65.25 KB, 497x357, Unbenannt.jpg)
>>1118675I get you,
nonny. It reminds me very much of myself.
No. 1118726
>>1118675take the retard pill
nonny to solve your problems
No. 1118770
File: 1648755894963.jpg (373.06 KB, 982x1252, tumblr_7755194e388b95b912e722f…)
Periodically I realize how far removed I've been from human experience, and it makes me sad. Friendships, for example: I have never had an actual friend.
Actual friends are people you can speak to concerning your deepest worries, right? You can go to a friend if you're depressed and be vulnerable with them. I've never had anyone like that in my life, ever. I've never been invited to a party, or a birthday, or a movie date, because nobody has ever liked me enough to do so. People have in fact vented to me, but I know that's because they understood I had nobody to tell of their issues; it wasn't so much they "trusted me" as they were just using me as an emotional dumpster.
The worst part about this is that I understand it's hardly a unique experience. The world is full of lonely people.
No. 1118784
File: 1648756848419.jpg (102.08 KB, 480x640, cutie.jpg)
Since moving to tranada I've honestly felt, like not racist but just so fucking annoyed/done with with muslim south asians who feel the need to talk down to me an arab on Islam. Like I'm ex but the rudeness and weird ass superior attitude a lot of them have where they'll be like, "Oh did you also have Eid in your Muslim majority country, yeah it's a big thing in India/Pakistan/Bangladesh" OR "oh wait you have halal food in your country?" Like um excuse me! I can at least read the Quran, calm down and maybe realize how awfully South Asians are treated in Saudi Arabia, being Muslim isn't helping those poor people stuck in literal slavery! And like why are you acting so smug about a religion that isn't your own and was forced onto you? It's so fucking weird and that's just one of my issues living in this country
Picrel has nothing to do with my topic, I just find this cutie so fucking adorable!!
No. 1118791
File: 1648757069345.jpeg (77.8 KB, 564x845, 87FDAA6B-24AD-4D7C-9D37-AF6CF7…)
>>1118770I'm so tired of being lonely I wish we all find a friend
No. 1118830
>>1118827Haha… same
I think we should tell people exactly how we feel though, it's not like they can read our minds and they have too many things to do to notice when we're having suicidal thoughts
No. 1118837
File: 1648759936777.jpg (53.13 KB, 640x853, lil tongue.jpg)
>>1118807nonny I've got a folder full of baby animals bellies, because they're so prewcious plus it's what I look to calm down when dealing with stupid ass shit, like today where I had some ugly ass scrote who thinks hes a woman try and bug me with his shitty ass "poetry" omfg why did Americans have to fuck my country and now I have to deal with some delusional freak whose crying about their lack of a womb, I ain't getting paid enough to care buffalo bill
No. 1118848
>>1118074Thank you, I'm feeling better about it today but it's still pretty upsetting when it inches forth from the back of my mind. I've been playing tetris to try ignoring it.
I guess the funniest part is that same woman called again today asking if I would sell some of the other stuff. I remember what happened and told her "hell no"
No. 1118874
>>1118841>butstop saying but
>I have no right to complain when I literally do nothing all daythen do something
>I feel no motivation or anything at all and I can tell the people who are ever around me think I’m a failureyou need to ask for help because you clearly can't do shit on your own
>I just need a productive hobby or a decent job.same
actually I tell myself these things all the time
>>1118846kek I guess that's just your bad luck having been born in a shitty religious family that doesn't support you. It sucks that your own family doesn't take your mental illness seriously.
>>1118856Yeah. I thought this was the unpopular opinion thread for a sec and was about to tell you that that's not unpopular lol
No. 1118900
>>1118892yes, i upgraded to a cintiq after using an intuos for so long
>>1118886thank you for the video anon, i'll do my best! thankfully i can still use sai, i just have to use my keyboard for shortcuts which is a little awkward.
No. 1118968
File: 1648768819817.png (664 KB, 688x790, pregjoke.PNG)
don't know why but this kinda thing that happens around april fools day every year annoys me. i dont see how someone faking being pregnant has anything to do with their personal miscarriage and fertility issues. But I'm probably just being an asshole.
No. 1118971
File: 1648769118436.jpeg (55.7 KB, 600x304, A4175ECD-97D8-4A11-B02F-B41B08…)
I can't seem to stop using incognito/private browsing mode. Why can't there be a feature like “session browsing,” where you can have multiple sessions (like as if they belong to different users) with their own histories open alongside each other? I'm tired of losing my data every time there's a blackout, that my computer suddenly freezes or the browser itself just crashes. At least I wish it retained your data on disk as an encrypted file with a password, make it optional even if it's “not private enough,” some webdevs haven't learned yet to avoid breaking various browsers on different systems.
I hate modern websites so much, slow and cluttered, lots of fingerprinting 3rd-party cookies as if they're selling your data but you're not allowed to keep hold of it to yourself.
No. 1118986
File: 1648770868606.jpg (45.73 KB, 564x754, 799aceadac93b515b70ebd944a2b34…)
Just got out of a meeting and I made so many mistakes, I am feeling really overwhelmed. I want to be participative but at the same time I just come across very hasty and I make a lot of faux pas, but then if I don't do stuff I just come across as lazy and not trying hard enough. I can't find the balance. I know I shouldn't worry this much because they are usually very patient, but I feel kinda humiliated after every warning or correction I receive. I guess this is why nobody wants to hire me, haha..
No. 1119039
I hate that my ex trooned out. Today, he was celebrating “trans visibility day” and made a Facebook post on how “he’s a trans woman now and has never felt more comfortable in their body or been more himself”. It felt like an insult to me. I was the best girlfriend I could be, and I was there for him even through the gendershit questioning. It was hell. And I feel absolutely disgusted that I dated someone like that. I
I had sex with that man many times and we dated for years since we were teenagers. He was my first boyfriend. I just feel so betrayed and disgusted. I’m embarrassed that I have a troon ex. I’m mad at him and I am disappointed and disgusted. I wish I could forget him and that we didn’t meet, because he feels like a stain on me. He helped me through some bad situations and made me realize what I should look for in a partner, and yet, I just want to forget.
When he started taking HRT pills. He bloated, got moobs, and his dick broke. We broke up when he cheated on me with another coomer online. It’s embarrassing. Why did this have to happen to me?
I thought that I had moved on. And I was secretly hoping that he was going to snap out of the trans craziness. But today, seeing that post showed me that he’s still sick. And it made me break down, hard. I hate him and I can’t help but feel very gross myself. It’s deeply upsetting seeing someone you used to love so much and had marriage plans, become another person entirely, especially a fucking degen tranny. My ex is dead to me. The person I knew died. I feel for trans widows.
No. 1119046
File: 1648777145967.jpg (64.46 KB, 736x990, a6b2b0974a3e807bf430da9f8bf61e…)
>>1118570You're not alone anon. Sorry you are going through this. Do you have executive dysfunction?
I hope you can find a way to pull yourself out. It helps me to just set the bar really low for myself and gradually raise it if i can. Maybe try to just focus on a shower/hair wash one day, answer a small amount of messages the next etc
No. 1119071
>>1118570Yes, this
>>1119046Focus on small tasks first. Don't feel guilty if you don't succeed, remember that you can always try tomorrow. It always takes a while to get things right if you're not used to it.
For me, making a list of things to do helps a lot, especially if each task is divided into smaller parts.
>>1119052Yep, drinking too much coffee and not being able to sleep when I had to stay up all night to finish uni homework late always felt hellish and I felt like I couldn't sleep because I was super worried about having a heart attack or something
No. 1119081
>>1119079Samefag but it
triggers my insecurities of being inherently unlikeable and past behaviors of impulsively focusing on people who seem to not really care for me because of ~trauma~. Sigh
No. 1119091
>>1119079My heart goes out to you, nonita. It’s a sweet and innocent wish. I didn’t get on top of responding to messages or saying thank you for gifts until I was about 19/20. But, then again, I’m very forgetful so hopefully it wouldn’t take her that long.
If it helps at all, just from what I’ve read, I like you and you seem like a good person. Teenagers are just teenagers, I have the same problem with my brother and sister a bit. if you haven’t already, maybe try getting into something she really likes so you guys can bond over it and, when she thinks about the thing, you’re one of the first people she thinks of or reaches out to? Regardless though, she’ll come around in due time. It sounds like she loves being with you. She may also just be busy/forgetful. Just don’t smother her.
No. 1119096
File: 1648783504526.jpeg (223.71 KB, 1080x1080, 78B896AC-5C97-44EB-A1B8-B3643C…)
>>1119039I’m so sorry honey. Those posts are always just huge copes. He’s probably miserable with his broken cock and the constant fact that he’ll never be an actual woman. It’s understandable that you feel bad and there’s no need to rush. You should allow yourself to grieve the loss of your ex partner. Cry and don’t hold anything back or it’ll hurt longer. I promise you’ll make it and find somebody truly worth your time and worthy of your love one day.
No. 1119103
>>1119089>>1119091Thanks for the support anons! It's so helpful to gain perspective and insight.
>I didn’t get on top of responding to messages or saying thank you for gifts until I was about 19/20.This is kinda what I was thinking would happen. It's not that I want her to like grovel at my feet in gratitude but honestly it's pretty weird when you give a gift and get radio silence. She's my first younger family member so I'm a bit clueless.
I was thinking of gently asking her why she doesn't answer texts when she visits in about a month, but I don't think that's the right course of action. I also thought of bringing it up again to my sister but that's not right either and would likely just make things weird. I stopped texting my niece completely for a while but that doesn't feel right either.
I think I'll just keep sending her messages every now and again (once every couple months) and keep sending gifts/cards on xmas and bdays so she knows I care.
Anyways that's my ramble.
No. 1119110
>>1118962Good, I'm glad he's gross and balding. Piece of shit. So sorry that happened to you
nonnie. How are you feeling about it now that some time has passed?
No. 1119124
File: 1648786400714.jpg (41.59 KB, 462x461, 1628971902261.jpg)
I only come to the farms when I hate my life and I want to die. I made it a whole month without coming here nonnies. yay
No. 1119129
File: 1648787103937.png (1020.54 KB, 677x855, 8B6B153C-5DDC-49F7-907D-F3FD3A…)
>>1119124I hope it gets better anon
No. 1119135
File: 1648788490326.jpeg (547.64 KB, 1170x1087, 5F0D8BFB-899B-4441-AEF7-7D56B9…)
I’m quitting vaping (nicotine) and today was the first 24 hours I’ve gone without it in years. I was an absolute bitch all day and my head fucking HURTS. This is bullshit and I know I just need to stick with it but god, I feel like ass. Wish me luck anons as I white-knuckle through this
No. 1119141
>>1119103That seems like a good idea to me. Bringing it up to your niece def seems like it could get a bit awkward. Just keep being loving and supporting (without exerting yourself or smothering) and she’ll come around soon. Cool aunts are always the best family.
I wish you the best of luck nonita <3
No. 1119153
>>1119096Ty nona, I needed to hear this. You’re right, that post was just a giant cope. He’s no different than the other troons. I shouldn’t be too bothered by that stupid cope post. And just like all trannies, he’s gonna be fat and balding and age like milk. He already looks like a man, but trannies can’t avoid aging like a man and that usually breaks them. I guess that’s a little consolation kek. His broken dick made sex terrible too, yuck.
I know I’m being too hard on myself too. It’s not my fault that he trooned out or cheated with a coomer. I feel stupid and betrayed, but he’s the one that should feel stupid… he gave up a relationship with a successful woman to live out delusions and will probably die from 41% or health complications. I hope that I do meet someone worthy one day, and that they don’t judge too hard about what happened. Ty anon.
No. 1119169
File: 1648792848350.jpeg (96.84 KB, 600x560, 108B87E8-91AC-4B01-BC47-E36106…)
>>1119039Omg anon I’m so sorry. Please feel free to take this time to grieve, it really is like going through a loss.
I also have a friend I dated who ”came out” as trans a few months ago and he was posting about Trans visibility day today too. Everyone is “YASS SLAY QUEEN 🔥” all over in the comments even though he literally just still looks like a dude in a dress. I feel fucking embarrassed and hope nobody remembers that we used to hook up. It made me feel really weird.
(Sorry to make this about me) but I feel for you, and don’t feel bad about needing some time to yourself to mourn.
No. 1119173
File: 1648793720873.webm (1.79 MB, 384x480, 1634454378352.webm)
posted this in the wrong thread and i've only now realized it: sorry to anyone who saw it. anyway–
>some dishes in the sink
>all of them mine
>dad (my roommate) points it out but he's all "ohh anon you left your dishes in the sink! all of those are yours! none of them are mine! you always say you hate bugs but you leave your dishes in the sink! i fucking hate seeing dishes in the sink, hahaha!"
>never-mind that i clean up after him all the time – dishes covered in grease included – and say nothing for the sake of peace (he also tends to do fun things like leave the toilet stained with shit, and get drunk and leave vomit everywhere that i have quietly cleaned up in the past)
>tell him he's being an asshole (in softer terms) and to just ask me, straight up, for me to do the dishes if he wants them done instead of being condescending about it, because i personally barely notice
>bring up the shit stains and vomit too because it isn't the first time he's said it
aita for saying that? i feel kind of bad about it (i am still living at home, at 22, i'm in university but still)
No. 1119209
File: 1648798277320.jpeg (40.51 KB, 602x540, 3C1519DF-5B5B-4D88-BC05-2AA671…)
You know, women are better than men, and I'm tired of pretending we're not. To myself, I mean. I didn't want to face the massive blackpill that is most men's degeneracy, but they hit you with it every day so it can't be helped. No complaint they can leverage against us compares to the blight on the world that is their behavior. No insult, no claimed superiority matters in the face of how greatly they fail everyone around them. For once I feel at peace acknowledging this. I wouldn't even say I hate all of them, but I'm ready to admit and accept that we are just made better. They are also gross and ugly, lol. I tried to not side against them but they make it way too hard, I quit!
No. 1119225
>>1119215I'm just waiting. Remember when these idiots only existed on tumblr? Now they're spreading into mainstream society and infecting others like zombies. I've talked about this before on here, I think it will take at least a decade, if not an entire generation or two to see an end to it. The children of these trooners (god forbid) will rebel against their parents and become more conservative, or we'll see mass health issues down the line from HRT, whichever comes first.
I'm genuinely too afraid to speak my opinion anymore and I feel like I'm so close to being outed as a
terf just from my old fashioned non-inclusive speech patterns alone.
No. 1119236
>>1119208I'm so sick of people denying biology for trans people. How do they not realize that if they have to deny science to accept something then maybe it's not fucking true? They are no better than flat-earthers or antivaxers.
The willingness to pretend men can be women and we therefore need to pander to them instead of actual women is so hurtful and demeaning.
And you can not talk to them AT ALL. They will scream at the top of the lungs about things like trans women getting periods, but when you confront them they just go "huh nobody is saying that, I've never seen or heard that". And when you point out that puberty blockers literally make kids developmentally delayed with permanently damaged bodies they call you an idiot who is only pretending to care about kids because you hate trans people. I literally just want you to stop hurting people, PLEASE
No. 1119298
>>1119270It's weird, I like Lana and even see the appeal in her aesthetic, yes I'll admit I like it. But similar to her, I don't actually like it in reality? Weird. Maybe it's because I don't have actual daddy issues and don't think she does either.
Although it's been said she was a possible Weinstein girl which seriously horrifies me in more ways than one. Going beyond the obvious moral issues… If her songs were legitimately written envisioning that, there goes all the appeal kek. I think most of her fans also fantasize about actual hot, not-that-old guys when they listen to her music
No. 1119382
File: 1648809776171.png (249.69 KB, 773x580, E5ZGSl1UcAIprnV.png)
the job i applied to reached out to me via text message, asked me to come back the next day on the day they scheduled my interview because they both forgot AND the manager meant to interview me wasn't even there. then i go in there the next day to be told that my interview was forgotten about AGAIN, that they'd scheduled ANOTHER interview ontop of mine, made it into a group interview, AND the business is exploding in their faces because of a lack of preparation, that they don't have any hours to offer me, and that i might hear from them "by the end of the week."
even if i get a call back there's not a chance in hell i'm working for a place so utterly incompetent it's not even funny. i don't want to hear jack fucking shit from any whiny baby employer saying people don't want to work. they don't want to work for YOU because you're retarded.
that's all. i don't like having my fucking time wasted.
No. 1119427
File: 1648813553267.png (4.25 KB, 1200x633, bastards.png)
There's a local park that in the nicer months I'll cut through on my way home from work. I grab a coffee, sit on a bench, sometimes play pokemongo cos it's amongst a bunch of pokestops but mostly I just look at a lil stream that passes through it and I relax. That lil spot got me through the strictest points of lockdown and I love it now. Highlight of my sad days.
Yesterday I went to do my usual routine and I noticed my fave bench had been drawn all over in chalk, like the whole bench covered in a thick layer of chalk. I kept walking and kept coming across more of it. Every last bench has been made useless til the rain can wash this stuff off again. I looked at the colours.. baby pink, white, baby blue… surely it's not the trans pride flag? Surely it's just little kids and the chalk pack happened to have those 3 colours right?
Passed through again today and it's looking the same… it's the trans flag. I wrote it off as a coincidence yesterday but that's what it is.
>International Transgender Day of Visibility is an annual event occurring on March 31
Fuck you I just want to sit down and relax
No. 1119433
File: 1648814015294.jpg (207.54 KB, 1280x542, money.jpg)
>>1114751my mother will literally beat me and yell at me first thing in the morning and then cry as if she is the
victim here. wtf girl. i didnt even do anything that could be misunderstood as violent behavior this time i was literally asleep. now i know she is fabricating some story in her head about how i am the evil one somehow i can hear her talking to herself and crying. now if she catches ME crying she will beat me again. cant do anything in this house not even sleep.
No. 1119465
File: 1648818533388.gif (515.4 KB, 500x264, smash-face-anim.gif)
The absolute nerve of this one damn moid at my work. A female colleague and I chatted about attractive actors and I mentioned how one has a nice round butt and this moid of a coworker reeeeee'd about me sexualizing and how it wouldn't be okay if the roles were reversed and I swear I almost tore his head off then and there. "Ueeeeh men have feelings too and it's not okay to see us as sexual objects. Why is is it okay for women to say such things but not for men". The audacity. Men are predators and constantly think about coom but god forbid a woman finds someone physically attractive but I guess it doesn't align with their idea that women aren't "visual" and if they are, then they are cold bitches who only care about looks. I'm so tired of having to watch my languagae around all of these idiots. I wish I could go full on radfem on them.
And thank god I didn't have to go to work on TDOV. I'm working in an office that doesn't have jack to do with this kind of shit and my boss is the biggest transphobe there is but I despise him just as much for being such a fraud and going with this fake woke bullshit.
No. 1119478
>>1119169Ty nona. I keep reminding myself that the person I dated is dead and gone, and what occupies his shell of a body now is madness. I will grieve for the relationship that I had with the person I knew, but not the monster that killed him.
The comments were the same in his section. Other than the other troons and handmaidens going “yas be urself”, a lot of comments seemed forced. He also looks like an obvious man with poorly dyed thin hair, ill-fitted clothes, and moobs. The worst part is that he started his skin walk with me (I haven’t seen him in a long time, maybe he’s moved to another skinwalk, but he started copying my ‘aesthetic’ and even used the same brand same color hair dye that I did at the time). He probably tells people and our old mutuals about his “
terf” ex, and it makes me wish I was never part of his life. Same as you, I just want people to forget that I dated someone who became a troon.
“TrAnS ViSuHbiLiTee DaY” sucks ass. And it’s irritating to see that it’s apparently become more relevant, judging by other anons posts. I want this troonacy to go back to obscurity and end.
No. 1119510
File: 1648823047195.gif (6.67 MB, 390x498, cat-dance.gif)
>>1117755Finally have time to play. I won.
No. 1119559
File: 1648826878316.jpg (93.21 KB, 588x800, 6a9962339df5d89e01128f931992b2…)
>parents raised me to be obedient, take orders, never question, don't complain, entertain verbal and emotional abuse, don't fight back, follow their lead, seek approval, people please, be a workhorse, serve and accomodate at personal expense, insist toxic behavior is love, give benefit of the doubt, hide trauma, fear criticism, listen to authorities no matter what, forgive or else, be mature but know your place, be happy for the bare minimums, etc.
>Parents: "ANON HOW DO YOU GET INVOLVED WITH ABUSERS AND USERS WHO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU? IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!"
Oh wow, it's almost like bullying one's own children to be co-dependent little serfs who are acclimated to bullshit for the convenience of lazy narcissistic parenting makes them targets for predatory people in adulthood.
Hmmm, HMMMMM, huh! Whaddyaknow?!
I hate them. I'm 30 years old and I still seethe. I'm getting better but my life is so difficult because of their fuckery and non-support and they will never take responsibility. They just steal credit and insist they were great parents if I'm successful now in any way despite their non-support.
No. 1119573
>>1119552>got a talking to from my friend about how women that can’t get pregnant would envy my body’s ability to do soI'm in my thirties and still view pregnancy as a type of body horror and a frightening level of responsibility, I've never been able to shake that feeling. For some reason the weight of anothers womans struggle (infertility) gets put on you for comparison if you ever admit this out loud.. but for what? Who does that help? Living in fear of pregnancy is it's own seperate issue. You're allowed to feel this way. Being in a situation that you don't want sucks.. end of.
Wishing you luck anon
No. 1119581
File: 1648828743382.jpg (73.27 KB, 833x1000, GY5020-1000x1000.jpg)
Can my period please start already?? It's been a year of absence. Im genuinely scared of developing cancer or some bone density loss at this point. None of the medication prescribed for me has worked. Nothing makes me bleed like what is happening to me? Why can't my uterus just shed it's damn thick ass lining? Nobody knows what's wrong with me because I have zero symptoms other than a missing period. I'm genuinely so frustrated and have so little hope to go on. Everytime I go back to let them probe me, they don't know what's up. Oh aliens, if you're out there just take me. Fix me. I don't believe in these humans anymore. I'm tired of taking medication that could potentially give me blood clots, strokes, seizures, heart attacks and all those deadly side effects. I'm scared enough being alive! Here I am being the only woman in the world excited for every small abdominal cramp thinking is it blood? Is it finally happening? And then it's just needing to take a shit because this medication makes me constipated. At this point I will sacrifice men to start up my period. I have HAD it. I know I wished to not have my period ever again on my birthday, but it wasn't supposed to come true! Man I bought 3 big packs of pads, for fucking what? Just to be watching manifestation videos of bringing back your period? I'm at my limit, this is bullshit. Out of all my birthday wishes, THIS is the one that comes true?? Why God? Why do you like messing with me so much? Have I not been a good person? I know I haven't, but you let men do whatever evil ass shit they want and still let them prosper. I need to be loved too. Gynecologist tests aren't cheap you know.
No. 1119585
>be me
>On my period
>GOD_IT_HURTS.jpg
>Take a pill
>Still in pain after two hours
>Hear barking at the backyard
>"Anon I'm bathing the dog, come help me dry it!"
>There are like 3 more people here, she can call someone else, besides my feet are turning cold and the pain is getting worse
>"Mom I'm on my period and it hurts pretty bad, I can't go"
>She's a woman she will surely understand
>"You dumbass, you're so fucking useless, just get up it can't be that bad!!"
>Wtf
>Dad (who is the dog's owner but never bathes it) joins in
>"Oh c'mon, you're on your period today? What a coincidence, so lazy"
>Please someone kill me
>Call my sister so she can talk to them, maybe then they will leave me alone
>"Hey, could you help me here??"
>Radio silence
>mfw when I bath and dry that fucking dog by myself all the time and never complained but for one time I don't, I get screamed at
>Pass out and finally get to sleep, the pain goes away
>Suddenly wake up to loud evangelical music
>Its the neighbor, and he's also singing along loudly, literally screaming
I'm feeling murderous anons, I'm angry and I'm PISSED FUCK Y'ALL FUCK YOU ASSHOLES REEEE FUCK THIS EARTH FUCK MY LIFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
No. 1119597
>>1119581Get your thyroid checked if you haven’t already, all of the numbers (including T4).
Do you exercise
nonnie? That’s the only thing that works for keeping me regular since I can’t take medication (side effects included blinding migraines that laid me out for days), I can tell when I haven’t gone hard enough on my exercise because it’ll be a few days late. Now it runs like clockwork, pretty insane given I went without a period for years.
No. 1119617
>>1119614Oh
nonnie, I’m so sorry, it must be frustrating. I hope that eventually you work out what’s going on. Hang in there! Sending you positive period vibes if you want them.
No. 1119630
File: 1648832803531.jpg (367.87 KB, 1080x1653, Screenshot_20220401_180551.jpg)
This person has a partner and I haven't had a date in a year. What the fuck world wtf
No. 1119634
>>1119581Probably a very dumb suggestion but could you try plan B to induce a fake abortion?
>>1119630She is probably dating the same flavor of themlet as herself, you are not missing out, I'd rather die a virgin than hold hands with a troon.
No. 1119644
File: 1648833621613.jpg (8.69 KB, 192x250, w2woj.jpg)
>Be me
>Tell friends that I'm going on a date which I haven't done in years
>"Omg nonny!!!We're sooo happy!You see, not every man is bad!"
>Tell them that it doesn't mean it'll turn into something serious and that I'm still keeping my guard up
>"Nonny chill!Or else you'll stay single forever and become a grumpy cat lady!"
>Try real hard not to tell them I'd rather be single than in their shoes and be with cheating, useless and abusive moids
No. 1119685
File: 1648836757950.jpeg (55.61 KB, 551x343, 6135282f9aab90b9f9b61d71_551_3…)
Fuck I wish I was socially competent enough to go out and meet someone irl instead of relying on dating apps.
While I do have moments where I do worry that the guy I'm chatting with have so many more beautiful and interesting options available with just a swipe, some of them fucking unmatch or block you if you don't respond for a day or even as little as an hour or two, because fuck me for having other responsibilities right? I know I wouldn't want anyone that entitled or needy anyway, it's still annoying as fuck when I thought we were at least having a fun conversation.
No. 1119705
>>1119691go
nonnie!! you can do it!
No. 1119732
>>1119700Yes. And I don’t ask guys out anymore, even if they are handsome and/or I’m interested in them. This has been hard for me since I’m very forward and don’t like waiting, but if a guy really was interested in you, he would ask YOU out, not the other way around. Don’t chase. Sometimes it works out but more often than not, this gives the guy a big head and they’ll put in little or no effort into the relationship.
I don’t get asked out often is because I’m “intimidating”, but what that actually means is that the redpillers know I’m not naive and can’t get tricked, so they don’t bother.
No. 1119751
File: 1648839706753.jpg (41.19 KB, 551x743, 149761703_1814616152048917_617…)
A friend of mine has a pretty successful webcomic, and her passion for it has made some of us in the friend circle feel inspired to create our own stories and it's so much fun to throw ideas around with each other. Only issue is that I'm the only one in the group that can't draw for shit, and I would love to get my comic ideas out there but I'm artistically retarded when it comes to drawing and it makes me so upset. I'm still building up the story and in-universe systems in my mind and trying to figure out how to write them down in coherent ways while dreaming of making a connection with someone that is willing to team up.
>picrel is me @ myself
No. 1119755
File: 1648839933672.jpg (23.53 KB, 452x678, images.jpeg-347.jpg)
I wish i could stop being such a self hating asiaboo, can't stop fawning over this kind of thing and wishing i was any other ethnicity than what i am, the culture where i come from feels so hypersexualized and i can't seem to like anything about it, not music, not food, nada, heck closest thing my region has to "folk clothing" is literally glitter pasties with thongs.
I thought id grow out of it when i stopped being an angsty teenager but nope, mid twenties and i still feel like this.
No. 1119769
>>1119751Ok but you have 1) an interest 2) a friend group
Like ok Stacy I see you! Plus, it's not that learning to draw is that hard, it's learning itself that's hard. You will get there if you really want it enough, and honestly I'm jealous you have a friend circle and creative endeavours together. Good luck with it!
>>1119761That's rather silly innit. You're going to die anyway, why not just live? Simple as. Plus, why June?
I don't know what you're going through but you're already here so you should tell us what's wrong, someone here on the world's very wide web would understand. I hope you're ok and I wish I could be there to support you sister.
No. 1119770
File: 1648840627592.jpg (Spoiler Image,47.34 KB, 554x554, images.jpeg-351.jpg)
>>1119765Girl, yes.
Im from the industrial part of São Paulo, so none of the more interesting things from either up north or south are technically "my culture".
Picrel sure feels like it tho, and it sucks.
No. 1119790
>>1119772Thanks fellow weeb nonita, I actually do have an overall interest in historical things and linguistics so i feel a little less ashamed but still, sigh.
>>1119775Nonna, you havent seen the song lyrics, it puts any rapper to shame in terms of degeneracy, and these two make top 10 on spotify here quite frequently.
No. 1119792
>>1119755i relate kek, i'm ethnically chinese but i used to be/still kind of am a major weaboo and really wish i was japanese because their culture felt so much more interesting and cooler than my own. i even lied about being japanese online like a retard
japan isn't as perfect and aesthetic as people think it is though. like it's literally marketing, they are trying to sell this image of japan to weebs for profit. personally i think your culture is pretty neat, brazilian women have this natural beauty to them (not the trashy thot ones) and your own culture probably isn't as lacking as you feel like it is
No. 1119798
File: 1648841531312.jpg (93.92 KB, 564x752, 407ee19bfc18ed58afd55669552463…)
>>1119768Anon, don't do it. I really get the feeling, but believe me it is not worth it. People might take notice and talk ABOUT it at most, but rarely with you because it is such an uncomfortable subject to tackle as an outsider. On top of it it's very easy to get addicted to self-harming or turning it into a crutch, take it from me that is 31 and have actively cut myself from I was 14 up until last year. As much as it's a part of wanting to shout out into the world that you need help, self-harming is not the way. The shame is not worth it anon. The scars are not worth it. The co-dependency on it is not worth it.
I hope you get the help you need and deserve, nona. I love you and I hope the very best for you. Keep fighting!
No. 1119806
>>1119792Thanks nonita, but i feel that's it yknow? you think brazil you think pretty women and soccer, sure there certain communities that have very interesting cultures like afroreligious groups from Bahia for example but…im not really part of them, honestly i don't even live near these people geographically.
Yeah I have exotic features but I feel like im missing some cultural identity, something like lunar new year, or those maypole festivals for euros, and folk tales and history.
Brazil is also a fairly new country so it hasnt had time to develop a culture so to speak, not like China or Italy for example.
>>1119794I agree, i used to be bigger into japanese shit but going into korean and chinese culture and history opened a whole new world for me.
>>1119797I hope you can go back soon anon, sounds amazing. I actually moved to the US of all places because it was more acessible lmao, im gonna start studying Chinese soon in hopes of going to there to study, I hope i have a similar experience to yours.
No. 1119907
File: 1648846983063.jpg (31.31 KB, 720x689, 6izw3mufcr681.jpg)
>be me
>travelling 8 hours to see a room viewing at someplace where i don't even live
>because i organised some tutoring and exams at a school at the other end of the country (to get into university, i would be taking alongside the seniors despite being a year older bc i didn't know what i wanted last year)
>hate my town and want to escape a bad past
>don't even have a job over there, just hoping i will get one before my work savings run out, even scored an interview
>not telling my mum because she thinks im not mature enough and i have occasional psychosis and delusions
>what ze fock am i doing
this is either the most retarded or the most based thing i've ever done. i'm scared but it's coming together, i even had a dream about things turning out ok there.
No. 1119916
>>1119911Showering might mask the sound. I hope you don't cut yourself, I understand wanting an outlet but your body is beautiful and sacred, like she deserves to be treated well.
Plus, cold cold showers can be an outlet, and they really do make you feel better afterwards. I don't know what you're going through but I hope that helps at least a little
No. 1119971
File: 1648849076670.jpg (41.15 KB, 362x375, ht.jpg)
>Be me
>Decide to give up dating for good and focus on career
>Work in a scrote-dominated field
Ugh. Can't escape them anywhere. I can't even hide my contempt anymore.
No. 1119972
File: 1648849106857.jpg (75.09 KB, 564x816, d4ecce2741b7ebe80baddc707f6e03…)
I don't know how to "come out" to my friend about who I truly am. I honestly just want to cut her off. We met when we we're young teenagers. We were both super huge TRAs, totally pro porn and openly talked about sex and kink stuff to a cringey, nauseating degree. We both had almost identical boring ill-informed lefty politics, etc. Now it has been exactly a decade and they are in the same place in every regard. If anything she's even deeper enmeshed in trans ideology and and porn and has even implied some pro-pedo shit. Shes also one of those people who thought the pornhub purge was an actual tragedy.
Ive been purposefully avoiding these topics forever and trying to drop the tiniest little hints that my opinions have changed, but I'm too weak to actually outright say anything. The closest I came was when she complained about Elon Musk being transphobic (of all the things to complain about him for…) and I said something along the lines of not caring if celebrities were transphobic. Whenever she talks about trans people or porn I'm just kind of quiet and change the topic. I'm just incredibly ashamed I'm too scared to say anything because I know she would get angry; she's not afraid of confrontation at all. I don't actually care if our relationship falls apart, I kind of want that, but for whatever reason I don't want her to be mad at me. Part of me wants to just fake insanity and pretend like I believe in qanon or some shit so she could just attack a fake version of me and end our relationship through that without me getting my actual beliefs attacked and go through being called a transphobic monster. I don't know, I'm so retarded and weak.
No. 1120019
>>1119994i know it can be really hard to end long-term friendships, but i think you need to do it. it's not even really about the trans stuff, think of it this way: her views go entirely against what you would consider to be your important values, probably she would consider you the antithesis to her values, and any friendship where you have to hide a big part of yourself/your whole worldview isn't healthy.
it's actually weird to me that in 10 years her views haven't evolved at all, and from what you say it is bizarre that she would assume you agree with everything she says. she sounds like a nutjob extremist and i feel like you think she has the moral highground deep down b/c you worry about her attacking your character when it really seems the opposite to me. what if this was someone you hadn't known for 10 years and some random stranger came out supporting pedos? would you worry about them being mad at you?
you don't need to have a big confrontation moment, maybe you should just drift away and ghost her little by little. or if you do openly dump her you should site the actual fucked up shit she's done (being pro-pedo especially, wtaf?) don't give her any ammunition to take the moral highground and dismiss you as a crazy transphobe bully. you are the one in the right here
No. 1120045
>>1120009You both are right, I rationally know that I'm not the one in the wrong at all. I've tried the drifting/slow ghost and it didn't work at all; she confronted me pretty strongly to ask if I was going through something and to ask if she had done something and I was too timid to be honest.
>>1120019It
is very weird that she hasn't changed at all in ten years. It actively freaks me out that someone can be nearly the same as they were when they were 13. It's also true that if she was a stranger I'd not give a shit about her feelings, but that's part of the problem. She isn't a stranger and though I listed all of her worst flaws there are still things I love her for. But you're right, her views are completely opposed to mine, and that's such a big part of our lives that it won't be sustainable. I'll just grow resentment more and more until it's unbearable and I explode.
No. 1120070
>>1120055Id go with you
nonny fuck your stupid friends
No. 1120071
>>1120055I'd watch it a third time with you,
nonnie.
No. 1120081
>>1120078https://kiwifarms.net/threads/2022-04-01-crucial-danger-situation.115796/#post-11547958It's a new thing, I thought it was an April Fool's joke.
Some other also got a court order notice fr having a paste on him. Guy tried to pay him money to delete the paste.
No. 1120136
>>1120069>>1120070>>1120071I love you
>>1120067I love you too even though youre bitchy because that is my favorite album
No. 1120144
File: 1648856260023.png (1.42 MB, 1898x1290, 1630727593107.png)
I didn't know that sewerslvt tranny got outed as racist KEK
But what the fuck do you expect from a mentally ill weeb moid?
No. 1120180
File: 1648858170882.jpg (20.1 KB, 273x242, i will cast off this flesh pri…)
I just saw the news at Kiwi Farms and I'm so mad about pedophiles I feel like I have sand in my lungs. I wish all pedophiles would be castrated and then bleed to death afterwards. If you're a pedophile and reading this, just kill yourself. Not even joking. Drive a knife into your internal organs until you cease to be alive.
No. 1120183
File: 1648858730251.png (233.91 KB, 1052x596, 8942.png)
>>1120081https://kiwifarms.net/threads/corey-ray-barnhill-august-heart-lulz-xyrix-ruxpin-zoom-internet-godspeed.46297/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/corey-ray-barnhill-august-heart-lulz-xyrix-ruxpin-zoom-internet-godspeed.46297/post-11162606Streisand effect in full force, now they're bumping/archiving his thread like crazy. The shit about hacking security camera in kid's bedrooms is disturbing.
Deleted to repost because what the fuck, it gets worse. He got a 7th grader hooked on drugs and was planning to kidnap her. And I might be misreading, but the girl in the audio clips in the first page, the one he forced to watch CP, was apparently 13 years old. I thought she was some 18 year old ageplayer with a history of abuse. He's admitted to multiple crimes in the audio clips, as well. I wouldn't even call this a horrorcow, I don't know what to say
No. 1120186
>>1120182Pedo trying to take down the farms
But like a super mega hyper pedo seriously fucked up individual. His name is Corey Ray Barnhill aka August Heart.
No. 1120190
File: 1648859519016.jpeg (88.65 KB, 680x613, 48F35F89-F903-4FF1-B387-FF94BE…)
>>1120183What the fuck. My life has become bleaker, I hope he gets murdered in jail.
No. 1120254
File: 1648867548965.jpg (90.89 KB, 1200x1172, Twolanebackwoodsoctopus_080c2f…)
I'm so fucking horny nonas, you have no idea
No. 1120257
File: 1648867736147.gif (777.55 KB, 300x224, futurama-philip-fry.gif)
Coffee gives me so much anxiety but I still drink it why?
No. 1120331
File: 1648879959070.jpg (147.32 KB, 654x395, 0 NL9EC5pTmBMfdOHn.jpg)
Basic necessities keep getting more and more expensive in a matter of weeks and wages are not increasing. I am depressed as fuck and I hate this goddamn existence. I always tell nonnies here not to be stupid when they say they want to kill themselves but I'd do it too if only it wouldn't cause so much pain to my parents. Everything is shit, always has been and always will be. I can't stand listening to these loaded dumbfuck politicians telling us that we'll have to just accept an increase in prices for just about anything. I wish people in my country weren't so indifferent towards all of this. They complain on the internet but they dgaf about signing petitions or boycotting.
No. 1120458
>>1120434omg this is just like a manhwa…you need to talk to her
nonny>>1120429i feel this so hard, we need to stick to 'grunge' aesthetics or we'll look absolutely feral. i like deliberately smudged eyeliner, layered shirts and frizzed up bunches, i think i'm finally finding my aesthetic. you have to own it tbh
No. 1120466
>>1120461is it
stephanieplease be
stephanie No. 1120470
>>1120453She sadly does, when she first saw me she called me by my name and asked me about our old company and such.
>>1120458kek
nonny, she's chronically straight and has an ugly old boyfriend
No. 1120504
File: 1648895710773.png (134.89 KB, 1024x1024, ierbvdf63bs67dbjavda.png)
can someone write some comforting words?
i am so sad and thinking i may be forever alone because i just realized i have schizophrenia. i will make an appointment with the doctors and go on medication if needed. i have been a burden and an embarrassment and i did not even realize it. my only excuse is that it got triggered by childhood sa and that i still appear normal, but. this explains so much. my parents talking to my teachers and friends' parents to warn them behind my back. me getting delusions of friends getting hurt or hating me, then them suddenly switching schools, or me being sent to another one. my parents always telling me to "finally be normal!" and i thought i was just autistic. i have been medicating my anxiety with weed and only befriending other mentally ill people who would leave me for their own issues too. the weed gave me psychosis and i had at least 6 times hung out with a friend, who was not actually there - my flatmates told me i was talking to no one. then my job called my emergency contacts that i imagined them bullying me. after this i only got shifts with other women (only good part though) because i guess the men thought i would make false accusations. it is so fucking embarrassing. people being afraid of me and judging me by stereotypes. please, i am not unintelligent, aggressive, unloving or dirty. but i may be making peace with being alone forever. i got my online friends and places like lolcow.
No. 1120511
>>1120504anon, i promise, none of this necessarily precludes you from finding good friends and partners (i will say, it's hard enough to find a decent man without any issues but life is about much more than just men). i promise you that there are tons of people in the world willing to understand or who even
can understand you and will be a wonderful addition to your life. you just need to wait, don't be too hard on yourself, and do what you need to do for yourself.
No. 1120523
File: 1648897319002.jpg (215.66 KB, 600x400, sniffs.jpg)
>>1120510thank you. i am not diagnosed yet but i will seek help to get it. it's been too long for it to only be weed induced psychosis.
>>1120511thank you. i hope so too. maybe i can join a therapy group. i read for people that get the symptoms more intensely there are homes or social worker relations.
>>1120516thank you. i am trying to quit/reduce even alcohol and coffee (stimulant). it took me months to remember my flatmates warning me. and actual conversations with my friend about why they don't remember that hang out or party. i could recognize most hallucinations but not delusions or psychosis while it was happening. but yeah, even side effects of antipsychotics would be better than freaking myself out and losing face.
No. 1120557
>>112055227
>>1120554Same anon, except I never dated anyone and my lack of experience makes it even more awkward. I get hit on by 19-20 year old guys who smoke weed and like parties and I'm not interested in them. Men my age/slightly older than me don't pay attention to me. Besides, all decent men my age seem to be taken already, I feel like it's too late for me to find someone
No. 1120562
>>1120557I'm also 27, I'm about to be 28 in two months. I lost my baby fat long ago and I'm still in the same situation so maybe you're like me and you just look young in general no matter what?
As for dating, since you mention it, I've never dated anyone and while it's for many reasons
mainly being raised by psycho religious parents, me looking younger than I am really didn't help at all. I've had cases where guys around my age hit on me and basically excused themselves as soon as I told them my age because they thought I was in high school or something, really weird shit. I wish I could give you advice but I probably need advice myself kek
No. 1120564
File: 1648901066911.jpg (56.2 KB, 627x319, trust.jpg)
>>1120563Same for me, I love this shithole and I love you all.
No. 1120567
File: 1648901196702.jpg (64.35 KB, 564x423, e8737b5911076737ac7f5499292254…)
>>1120563>>1120564I love you too, nonitas.
No. 1120572
File: 1648901614428.png (2.42 MB, 2000x2500, 1648880203109.png)
Gore spam
No. 1120591
File: 1648903068077.jpeg (19.32 KB, 273x275, 1633125080484.jpeg)
Having to listen to obnoxious teenagers blasting music on public transport is annoying enough, but hearing highschool boys joke about massage parlors and happy endings and "Do you think they offer them at insert place name? lol" – "They doooo lmaooo" – "So how do you know that lololol" – "I have, uh, connections lololol" – "Yeahyeahyeahyeahyeh as if lololololol" – "Noo, I heard from my brother, I swear lol" is another kind of upsetting. Never mind the fact that in the 1.5 hours I had to use public transport I drove past two brothels and a strip club, because all of it is legal. I hate it here.
No. 1120599
>>1120591What shithole country do you live in?
Teenagers retardation makes me wanna a-log too. I was on the bus also and a girl noticed her boy classmate, laughed with her friend, then imitated blowjob motion.
No. 1120605
File: 1648904384242.jpg (145.6 KB, 1169x1217, FKXOSxjXIAANn3p.jpg)
bumping for abuse/gore
No. 1120645
>started second job as manufacturing lab cleaner supervisor
>no exp cleaning but ops director wanted me for pharma/med manufacturing background
>two reportables already quit
>ops manager peaced out to a different site my second week on the job
>just me and my last reportable who doesn't speak English, sexual tension
>I'm slow and terrible at cleaning and suck at gowning
>only know what I do from reading operating procedure docs and somehow I have to train and supervise janitorial staff on correct methods
>doesn't help that there's a language barrier, I'm tired after my 14 hour day, I don't have adequate staff, our client's facilities manager is a stupid karen completely unaware of what it will take to enforce her company's process and never disciplines her messy lab employees who make it worse
>it's implied I have to rush and cut corners to get everything done but considering they make injectable drugs, that can KILL PEOPLE
>good thing they haven't launched production…yet
>last night
>come early from my first job
>karen client piles a whole bunch of extra bullshit she wants me to do with labeling and restocking
>then she wants me to do a special clean of labs which includes the walls and windows in addition to the trash, surfaces, and floors
>multiple areas where I have to gown up and down, re-clean cart, etc.
>let her know I'm by myself tonight but I'll do my best
>non-English reportable is still working janitor side
>she leaves
>I. Do. Not. Have. Time. For. This. Shit.
>attempt to contact different site supervisor for help but it goes to voicemail
>text ops manager
>don't have time to wait for response because I have to prep clean carts and prepare chemicals
>I grab and label cleaning chemicals in a rush
>later while I'm gowned in the lab cleaning my ops manager replies that he is sending help but I didn't check my phone and had no way to know that
>cleaning in first innoculum room
>chemical starts making me feel funny, eyes water, smells like industrial vinegar and acid
>after awhile non-English reportable shows up
>he doesn't enter small airlock areas I'm cleaning with chemical and I don't know why
>he is watching me
>it's brutal but I make it
>other supervisor shows up to start different area
>later my ops manager appears
>he drove 105mph on the interstate just to come, probably bc karen said something to him being by myself
>I panic and hope he didn't see me breaking process
>he blurts "I SMELL [CHEMICAL]."
>I am shocked because I was convinced I was cleaning with the right chemical
>bc I have no cleaning exp, had no idea what either chemical smelled like to tell difference
>sure enough I had grabbed the incorrect chemical in my hurry
>non-English speaker had been watching me to make sure I didn't pass out from fumes
>not a serious chemical but we really should use respirators for it
>we will use it in a different special cleaning on Tuesday but regardless it wasn't the one I was supposed to use tonight
>I'm really fucking embarassed bc I done fucked up in front of everyone and basically huffed fumes for five fucking hours unnecessarily
>would have went slower and checked my work if I knew anyone was coming to help
>will probably be labeled as incompetent from this point forth
>only saving grace is that no one else wants to do this job and cleaners who would don't have documentation exp for it
I want to crawl under a rock and die.
No. 1120652
File: 1648911269205.jpg (13.35 KB, 480x360, hqdefault.jpg)
I've pissed myself in my sleep multiple times in the past 2 years. I think it's time for a gyno
No. 1120670
File: 1648912266279.jpeg (69.78 KB, 750x721, A24E0B40-E027-4E70-8392-185BE1…)
Yesterday my parents announced that I was going to be forced into treatment and I’ll have to eat 3 meals a day with snacks until I gain back all the weight I lost. I was borderline overweight before I developed my ED and I’m not even underweight now. There’s nothing to recover from. I don’t know why they’re doing this. I’m wasting time and resources that could have gone to some skelly who weighs as much as a toddler and actually needs help. I had a “real” dinner with my family for the first time in about a year. My dad made me my childhood favorite meal. As I was eating it I was taken aback by just how bland it tasted, even though he had made it the same way he always did and I used to love it.
I’m seriously considering just bringing an opaque cup to the dinner table to chew and spit my meals into or something so that it looks like I’m eating. I don’t even enjoy food anymore.
No. 1120675
>>1120670"Treatment" as in your parents are forcing you into a regiment at home based on their opinion, or are doctors actually involved?
The latter would be impossible unless there was indeed a medical basis, in which case you just might be mentol.
No. 1120690
>>1120677Cup spitting is disordered behavior. Finding food you once enjoyed to be suddenly bland is a sign of depression.
Can't you consider that you may in fact have a problem so obvious that your family feels it necessary to intervene before you do become a worst case scenario?
No. 1120725
File: 1648915055637.jpeg (59.88 KB, 600x600, 1578542299228.jpeg)
scat moid posting again… bumping.
No. 1120726
File: 1648915076012.jpg (26.04 KB, 512x512, unnamed.jpg)
bumping for scat
No. 1120767
File: 1648916065797.jpg (7.65 KB, 307x164, images.jpg)
No. 1120770
File: 1648916144302.jpg (82.5 KB, 530x327, DFW119940.jpg)
>>1120767Bumping for Based moomins
No. 1120784
File: 1648916576206.png (1.14 MB, 720x692, 1638171764942.png)
stay hydrated but also obligatory bump
No. 1120794
File: 1648916826879.jpeg (143.08 KB, 450x564, 0D2CAD0A-FE92-4D9B-9593-223563…)
can the farmhands get off their ass and delete that shit kek, it was such a cozy place to browse until a moid has to rub its shit all over it like a chimp
No. 1120808
File: 1648917041325.png (91.13 KB, 368x400, medical_kusuri_takusan_woman.p…)
No. 1120945
File: 1648920245110.jpg (63.48 KB, 563x766, dafc17a41a94f7d2d623a3ad7ded91…)
Bump bump
No. 1120980
File: 1648920933609.jpeg (129.72 KB, 1200x1283, 1635852956464.jpeg)
Damn scrotes
No. 1121027
File: 1648921972256.jpeg (83.95 KB, 897x504, 1648920791688.jpeg)
I just have to re-post this beautiful picrel from a nonnie because moids have worms for brains if they really think they're achieving something by posting stupid shit.
No. 1121035
File: 1648922063183.jpg (53.47 KB, 489x614, picture01.jpg)
>>1121027Love this. These moids are worthless.
No. 1121052
File: 1648922470989.png (1.7 MB, 1167x1280, CE2793FA-1A14-48B0-97D0-3B4CFE…)
I love this space so much And i would happy chop dicks off of any man here. ANY.
No. 1121059
File: 1648922617593.jpg (99.25 KB, 855x569, 2.jpg)
>>1121052I love how it just brings us closer every time they spam stupid shit. Scrotes could never.
No. 1121103
>>1121090I can relate but I believe in you
nonnie!
No. 1121122
My sister's ex-husband is fucking up her daughter's life and my sister WILL NOT do anything about it because she's scared to go to court even though he's clearly in the wrong, like by a long shot. He didn't take her to school when it was his turn (it was 4 days out of the week at that time) bc he was too lazy to the point where she dropped out of school and he is "home-schooling" her, which of course he isn't doing it at all so she's been stagnant for the past 2 or 3 years (!!!). He will not pay for any of her psychiatric or health care bills, leaving the responsibility to my sister. He took my niece's phone away about 5 months ago because he snooped and saw that she was "saying mean things" about him to her friends and she was grounded as well for being pansexual which he found out through snopping and then proceeded to tell his and her entire religious side of the family about it. He's apparently had my number and other members of our side of the family blocked. I was itt a day or so ago lamenting about my niece not answering my texts at all? Yeah, well this is why… The list goes on, he has "jokingly" threatened his new young (like 10 years younger than him) wife to "take her out back like a dog and shoot her," and YES, he has hella guns… He keeps having kids with his new wife but pawns them off on my teenaged niece to be taken care of when she is staying with him during the week, his wife supports him because he doesn't work at all and hasn't for many years… I'm sure there's more. This guy is a piece of shit pea brained man who has no merit, so his entire sense of ego and manhood is based on delusional lies he tells himself and based on being able to control his ex (my sister), his new wife, and my niece. And of course he has never paid any child support to my sister, who when she divorced him, had to start working from the ground up to make a life for herself and for my niece, which she did. As much as we tell my sister she needs to take him to court to get what is hers and to protect my niece from his bullshit, she will not do it. At this point I feel like she just doesn't want to deal with court which I do have sympathy for, but I strongly feel that she needs to step in and protect her daughter and shield her at least partly, from this man. She will be of age in a handful of years and plans to move back to her and my sister's home state when they legally can, and I am terrified of how he might react. Did I mention he gas guns and a big ego that is based on a tenuous house of cards? I fucking hate men. What should I do nonnas? I just sent her a text laying out my fears because she just texted me to let me know that she thought he had unblocked me from my niece'a phone but apparently he didn't because she asked my niece if she recieved a text of mine yesterday and she said he must still have me blocked because she isn't recieving them. He's trying to control my sister through this manipulative bullshit because she will no longer play nice on holidays and won't go to her ex-inlaw's place anymore because it's too fucked up for her to deal with him anymore. So I think this is his way to oush buttons and attempt to force drama. I really would love to call him and ask him to please unblock me so I can have a relationship with my niece but I think it may be inappropriate but I really don't know what's right anymore… Did I mention that when I was 16 and he was ~23, he said "yeah maybe if I were just a few years younger I'd marry you instead of your sister ;)" verbatim. My niece is such a wonderful person and it's so difficult standing by while I can see her being hurt and damaged in real-time. I can't relate with my sister not wanting to go to court because I feel like a parent is obligated to do what's best for their children and idk why she wiuld allow anything else to overshadow that. I have very little control in this situation but it is screaming mad and idk what stance to take.
BUT as I wrote this, my niece texted me!! So my sister must have spoken to shit-for-brains following my text. OYE
No. 1121132
File: 1648923919239.jpg (181.79 KB, 900x830, jael-and-sisera-pamella-okonny…)
Not this shit again
No. 1121193
File: 1648925135469.png (421.06 KB, 608x641, 61199248d5ebcaa939fec696497f65…)
bump
No. 1121243
File: 1648926225802.jpg (157.37 KB, 1698x1080, hqd1gesua1581.jpg)
Fuck moids Gyaru leopard bump
No. 1121246
File: 1648926267838.jpeg (51.07 KB, 485x485, 806EED10-42FA-446C-AE92-CE5DB4…)
I love kitties
No. 1121291
>>1121173She is mid-teens right now.
I hate hate hate that he moved (to follow his parents that he lecched off of) my sister and niece to a different state 10 years or so ago. Otherwise I could be so much closer to both of them and have a better relationship to my niece. I feel like so much time has been lost. I fucking hate men.
No. 1121352
>>1119552Your friend sounds like an ass, why can’t she just let you have your own opinion?
Anyway, I hope the abortion goes well and that your recovery is smooth. There’s nothing wrong with your choice and I would also get an abortion if I were pregnant. Sleep lots afterward and eat your favorite fo celebrate all the stress being over. Good luck <3
No. 1121405
i hate trannies and how they have ruined LGB spaces. i used to be part of the community, but in recent years, i feel that it has become so hostile and mainly full of handmaidens or straights that think they're "gay" for being a "nonbinary". it all makes me want to avoid it now. seeing the rainbow flag specifically just makes me anxious, because i just think of all the people that would lynch you for not being a tranny lover. i hate that something that used to be a good thing that was fun and positive, has been ruined and just brings anxiety.
>>1120979definitely, "trans visibility day" was only a few days ago, and a lot of trannies are probably seething that this site is getting more traffic from peaked people every day. the MtF threads are filling up quicker than they used to.
No. 1121418
File: 1648933089625.gif (1.29 MB, 244x224, w92929292.gif)
>>1121387Me too
nonnie. I'm gonna make some green beans to ease the pain
No. 1121455
File: 1648935679070.jpg (102.74 KB, 1200x675, IMG_7331.JPG)
Seeing the next 3-5 years of my life all planned out and strategized is stressing me out because after feeling suicidal for many years I decided to mentally check out and just live life day by day and see where it takes me. I can't do that anymore but I still don't want to think about it too much because I know it's going to make me spiral and end up depressed, however I don't know what else to do about it. Being a directionless loser was way worse than this even though it's not the path I wanted to take in my life. I'm not passionate or driven by anything though so I guess I'll keep taking it day by day because what else is there really
No. 1121509
Much as I love my mom I'm so done with her wanting me to be a mini version of her. The only thing we enjoy together is looking at clothes together and complain. She can not stop berating me about my body hair, way I do my makeup (I shave/draw my eyebrows quite thin), my clothing style, my hair style, my this my that. She called me an annoying bitch (yes she really did) because I told her I looked at the requirements for the college I want to apply to without her. She already looked at the college/major and approved of it, sides, I did not apply I just looked at the documents/whatever the fuck required to get in. I understand I'm her only daughter and she wants to be involved in my life but I'm not 7 and not mentally retarded either. Why can't she understand I'm an adult and I don't need her help with every step I make? Any time I try to bring it up she shrugs it off, says 'because I'm your mother'. I get wanting your child to make the right decisions but she must know I'm not retarded. When I said it really hurt me when she called me a bitch she shrugged it off, said 'I'm just tired and you were being annoying anyway'. When I try to bring up things she's said in the past she straight up calls me a liar, says I'm 'making it up on the spot'. If the housing situation wasn't so bad in my country I would seriously consider moving out over this. I'm not a child, the reason I don't tell you everything is because I know you'll make a big deal out of it, plus some things just aren't worth mentioning. She has plenty of lovely qualities but I can not stand her wanting to control my every move.
No. 1121637
My mother is on the edge of getting a burnout and selfish as it might sound, she's been taking it out on me (calling me names, being overly critical of everything) and I can't fucking stand it anymore. I know she's going through a rough time right now and I keep trying to help her. I tell her over and over again to start working less (my dad has a good job and they have a ton of savings together so we can afford it), I do all the housework and cooking, help her with her work (she's a teacher so I grade all her tests) and try to make her life as easy as possible but she just does not appreciate it. She keeps telling me I'm ugly, fat, lazy and all of it. She has never taken my mental health (depression, autism, ptsd) seriously and told me to just 'get over it'. I try and try to be kind to her but all she can do is be mean to me. I know miserable people do miserable things, but it's just not worth it anymore. I don't need her to be eternally grateful, I would just appreciate not being scolded for every little thing. I'm considering just being a lazy good for nothing neet, so she can feel what it's like to be in a bad place with no support. I will not, I know it's fucking mean but I can't say it hasn't crossed my mind. I'm considering getting an evening job so I can still do chores but just get away from her as much as possible. I know this might sound awful, but a cashier job for a few nights a week isn't that bad. I would have some more money too. God, I just can't stand how she treated my depression like a joke since I've had it and now that she's miserable she expects to be treated like a queen and doesn't even appreciate it.
No. 1121683
>>1121637Never feel bad about being angry when family members being an emotional drain on you. It's a paralyzing guilt and it's especially bad when there are substantive underlying issues between the two of you. Feeling "selfish" about it will only exacerbate the issue.
>>1121668If you're waiting for him to man up and quit being a loser then yes, you should break up with him. If he has no future, don't delude yourself into thinking you'll have one as part of his.
No. 1121691
File: 1648956556212.jpg (99.7 KB, 612x813, CkhG_GpXEAAaFRa.jpg)
>>1120638they probably do the same, though maybe not as much as you. everyone thinks they are cringe, so they probably don't judge others as much as they judge themselves internally. even if they do, why should that be your problem? just do your best and try to leave it at that. brains are weird, its just trying to help you review things in your head so you do better next time but you don't need to obsess over it
No. 1121693
>>1121684I might be wrong. But isn’t the early onset menopause thing a myth? I mean, you still get your period if you get your tubes “tied” or removed. People will do or say anything and spread the most ridiculous myths to try to get women to have children, so I wouldn’t be surprised if it were indeed a myth.
I’m in the exact same boat as you as wanting my tubes removed in my early 20s, literally the exact same in knowing that I’ll never want to be pregnant, so why stay this way? But we’ll make it through,
nonny No. 1121699
>>1121689i meet so many moids who immediately treat me like a therapist and "trauma dump" about their porn addiction, parents divorce, or totallyyyy
toxic ex gf. i wish women felt more comfortable talking about their genuine pain, so many seem to struggle so much to open up and now i keep seeing them get shunned for speaking about their experiences. "trauma dumping" seems like one of those terms that would make sense as a genuinely negative problem in some situations but is now going to be used any time someone mentions a traumatic situation even in passing for the next 3 months like how gaslighting got overused. i get your frustration
No. 1121715
>>1121699that sucks and feels dehumanizing to be their assigned mommy just because you happen to be female. it's how some guys started friendships with me that never lasted long because they kept telling me misogynistic shit about other online friends they had. like how one of them got a boyfriend, then she dared break up with him, and have another boyfriend and that made her a whore. like what the fuck. and the whole time i tried talking about my problems to also get advice or comforting words, he was like "that sucks" or "
oof". trauma dumping is only okay with consent and if the listener would have the strength to comprehend them. i did it though when i was a teenager because i didn't know better, and thought, there was no way someone could not handle that.
No. 1121726
>>1121687Although
valid, he’s never gotten a procedure before and he is pretty scared of needles and going under, while I have had a multiple procedures, lasik actually being the scariest. Plus ( I love him and never want it to happen) if we ever broke up and I saw someone else, I would be back at square one.
>>1121693IS IT A MYTH???? If it’s a myth I may cry from joy. It would be hard to find a doctor willing to go through with it, but it would give me just a bit more hope. Regardless, glad to know there’s someone feeling the same
No. 1121744
>>1121684Wouldn’t it be easier and less of an argument with the doctor to get an IUD?
Of course the real solution here is to make bf get a vasectomy.
No. 1121765
File: 1648964063170.jpeg (35.1 KB, 349x379, 267959AC-8902-4A96-B3F5-1ACC0D…)
don’t scroll, gore
No. 1121784
File: 1648964441623.jpg (62.64 KB, 639x718, FPPHDz-WYAAZwt9.jpg)
y chromosome = lesser being of sentience
No. 1121821
File: 1648965104791.png (337.87 KB, 1282x1246, EdZX-RqX0AQsb6y.png)
I kinda hate the summer tbh
No. 1121855
File: 1648965669804.jpg (8.37 KB, 320x180, Hey no calm down, don't do it.…)
No. 1121903
File: 1648967840184.png (557.51 KB, 990x684, 1622422076060.png)
I literally forgot half of my final project for one of my classes. It's too late to do it now. I might have to take this class again which I hate, but mostly I'm just dreading going to class this week. My instructor is gonna be so disappointed and I'm so sick of everyone being disappointed in me lately.
No. 1121923
>>1121752I don’t trust the implants because one of my closest friends got pregnant within a year of getting it. Stupid reason, I know, but I don’t want to risk it. Basically I have tried multiple forms of birth control over the years and have hated all of them. I always get terrible side effects. I’ve been set on not wanting to get pregnant and instead adopt for 8 years now… it would also just help with my paranoia a lot if it was just not physically able to occur. Maybe I’m too stubborn. I’ve been wanting this procedure or something similar for about 5 years now, though.
Anyways, I don’t want to get my boyfriend involved because it’s something I actively want for myself. Like if I could choose which of us gets it, I would still pick myself because for some reason it just gives me more peace of mind to know it’s my body.
> despite his little needle procedure phobia he can witness a whole ass head coming out of your vag.I kekd so hard
No. 1121938
File: 1648972499242.png (319.86 KB, 426x473, angy.png)
WHY is it so hard to find a backpack that's cute and not too big?? why are all backpacks so big??????
No. 1122020
File: 1648980485097.png (192.21 KB, 438x327, 6e98dc3.png)
i hate how easy and comfortable it is to do nothing. i have things i want to do but it's almost like putting in any effort, even into shit i care about, is too difficult. and then i get feel guilt/shame when i realize how much time has passed and i've done literally nothing meaningful with my time. if i do attempt to play a game or read or whatever, i can do it for maybe 20 minutes before i get distracted and end up cycling the same 3 sites for the rest of the day. i used to engage in hobbies, and i have the same if not better overall energy levels comparatively, so i really don't understand what the issue is with me
No. 1122084
File: 1648992377675.gif (4.18 MB, 480x266, 453E8BE9-897A-4BC4-BAFF-9C3CE1…)
everyone gangster until they remember a very niche moment of anon asking what the daria art style is called and all you did was type up an autistic paragraph when you could have just ignored it or said no. enough to haunt your dreams and make you sweat omg why am I so retarded kekkk I really thought they were gonna reply to me too… hahahah
No. 1122107
File: 1648994498376.jpg (68.54 KB, 888x499, wat.jpg)
>>1122084I probably would've enjoyed your autistic rambling.
No. 1122122
>>1122107it was only once kek
>>1122118yes because i’m deadass tired of being ignored. i answered you, might have it been the answer you were looking for lmao but i answered
No. 1122304
>>1122117Always wondered why these low effort “handmaiden or coping male" get posted. They're so transparently larping. What's the point?
gore bump
No. 1122330
>>1122117larping as what? wanting to kill men is a
valid feeling. typing words is not acting on anything.
No. 1122384
File: 1649010451910.jpg (340.02 KB, 1600x1127, 1649009040023.jpg)
I thought attack on titan anime would end this year, I thought my nightmare would be over and I would be able to forget, but it will continue. the last 4 episodes will air in 2023. I can't cope anymore…
No. 1122401
File: 1649012130052.jpg (57.59 KB, 852x960, 1647679937353.jpg)
>>1122394Troons and troon goons would prefer detransitioners had committed suicide and add to the statistics than detransition and feel at peace
No. 1122879
>>1122553You can tell her that male friends aren't complicated not because they're simple and genuine, but because they are complacent in all your
problematic behaviors and attitudes with the hopes they can eventually have sex with you.
No. 1122929
I was listening to a psych podcast and the lecturer said
>The average person experiences at least 3 positive emotions for every negativeor something like that. And it really made me feel like a miserable freak
>>1122888same
nonny No. 1123002
>>1122948Male friends are attracted to me, but the reason why I have given up on woman friends versus male ones is because of the fact that women will get threatened and it's hard to know if a women is or will be threatened or not from the start. I've tried having female friends and it is tiring hearing them compare attractiveness or act like they have no chance of getting a guy when I am around, only to see them stop being friends once they want a guy. I don't smile or laugh around men when I'm with my female friends (i.e. I do not flirt and act serious) and female friends still act like their man will leave if I'm around. It is gross, too, seeing how boyfriends act around the friends (me) of their girlfriends and it is hard not to transfer over those feelings of resentment against the boyfriends/partners against my own partner.
Compare this to male friends who though they may be attracted to me, I can ignore that and let them down but they will still stick around at least. I take it hard when female friends want to stop hanging out, but not so much if a man were to do that, though in that case I'm usually the one quitting the friendship. I take it very hard that I have issues retaining female friendships and it hurts my feelings that it's not like we get into fights ever and I try to bend over backwards to keep the friendship - listening while making no comments about my life, gifts, etc.
I don't need to do any of that stuff with male friendships and they just stick. It isn't my preference but that's how it is. I wish I had an easy friendship where how I'm perceived my men isn't mentioned at all.
My point is that friendships suck either way and some people just pick male friendships for the ease of them.
No. 1123005
File: 1649044948677.jpg (21.38 KB, 400x243, IMG_20191209_093804.jpg)
I hate being an autist because I can't seem to keep friends. I take people at face value and I hate it, because most of the people I've met and befriended turned out to be secretly nuts or hiding gross bullshit about themselves but don't do it in front of me for whatever godawful reason. So I only find out after the fact since I can't pick up on hints of their inner freak apparently, and I just feel, idk gross. Like the same feeling you get when you realize you've been taken advantage of in some way.
Meeting other autismo women who are just kind is a nightmare. I just want one kind and genuine friend so I can also be kind and genuine to someone, and have it matter.
No. 1123014
File: 1649046184340.jpeg (65.08 KB, 604x340, 82727591-72D5-46F9-ACFD-7D828A…)
More gore on ot….
No. 1123020
>>1123005was this written by me? i feel you through and through
nonnie. Autismo here too. I just wish people were honest and not hide ulterior motives and huge character flaws under layers that only get unwrapped when they feel you are invested enough in them to put up with it. I just want level-headed friends who are funny, smart, and sweet but have just enough unique zest to 'em without being offputting. There are plenty of freaks out there, and finding friend groups would be much easier if everyone presented their true self out the gate instead of this gross charade. I can't really pretend to be someone I'm not. I also have an issue where, because I'm an affectionate person, everyone reveals the "So you've been wanting to fuck the whole time too right?" card and it's horrifying. Like no! I thought you liked greeting hugs and leaning against eachother too. If I wanted something more, I would have asked or at least gone for a kiss first… I've brought that up here before and was called a "baiter" and "tease" by other anons so now I'm even more guarded about getting to know anyone lmao
No. 1123031
File: 1649046704990.jpg (76.96 KB, 540x516, tumblr_be80f2fc3415b319ded0fe8…)
gore. male moment
No. 1123039
File: 1649047014507.jpeg (221.04 KB, 1024x1024, 1646604775655.jpeg)
bump
No. 1123057
File: 1649048825479.jpeg (24.55 KB, 492x623, images (2).jpeg)
I squandered an opportunity to live and work in Europe (I'm from a 3rd world country) by being irresponsible and retarded, and now I hate myself so much I seriously want to kermit.
No. 1123065
>>1123020We're the same anon! I've stopped giving out hugs because I'm tired of people thinking it means I'm into them, too. I just want a hug! Or a shoulder rub! Or a noogie or something, idk. I feel like everyone is talking with subtext all the time and my ass is out here like an ESL wondering why they can't just speak plainly.
Sending love your way nonna, I hope we both find good friends someday that aren't weirdos.
No. 1123082
>>1123002I definitely think you just haven't found the right "type" of women for your friendships,
nonnie. It takes time, but I've also found women who agree with my views on men and we've had no issues regarding that. They understand that men are abundant and there's no use fighting over a moid. If he's worth anything, he won't try to get in between you and your friends.
Men only keep sticking around in hopes of fucking you one day and theres's nothing valuable that you can get out of them sticking around.
Even men agree, that their friendships lack compassion and complexity. Sure, some may think that male firendships are "easier" because they're surface level but to me those aren't friendships at all.
No. 1123092
File: 1649052843887.jpg (30.63 KB, 498x498, bd71a9b95df6de913f3ce43c2ae7a2…)
I have so much to do this week and I'm drowning in uni work on top of that. I can't stand the fact that I can't deal with stress at all. My anxiety is so damn high to the point I always tell people not to bother calling/texting me before something big for me comes up (uni exams, work related stuff) because during this time I'm usually super irritable. I feel bad about it but I can't help but think of all the things I could be doing instead of talking about mundane shit with them.
No. 1123104
File: 1649055014597.jpg (23.65 KB, 563x558, HE5TuQN.jpg)
>>1123059Thank you, nonnette. I feel better after watching some dumb videos/listening to music and washing my face.
No. 1123111
>>1123069the more radical a moids political views are, the more spergy he is and the less he is able to process other's POVs
so ig avoid any moid who makes his views apparent before you really know him
No. 1123130
>>1123092First off, I am sorry you're feeling overwhelmed. I get the same way when I am stressed out and then get mad at myself, which makes me feel worse. I would recommend writing up the things you need to do in three categories in order of time related priorities: what can be done within this day, what can be done within three days and what can be done next week. It helps me with time management a lot. Hopefully this would help you too!
And remember! Share how you are feeling and don't isolate yourself! You're communicating to others you're firing on all cylinders and setting boundaries around that is good! Good luck and we are rooting for you!
No. 1123134
File: 1649057470028.jpg (239.8 KB, 1600x1156, banner.jpg)
I had a nightmare about being a soldier in the Czech Republic getting trained for war and getting showed war victim gore to get scared off. I'm pretty sure this is a weird combination of having seen gore on here, reading about the war in Ukraine and reading about Czechian animations yesterday and my brain mixed it together in this weird ass frightening nightmare. Ugh. I really need to visit this website and news website less because obviously it's starting to have negative impact on me.
No. 1123205
>>1123199Dreams are just your brain sorting your memory and stuff, sometimes weird shit happens in them.
It's not like it reflects your feeling or suppressed desires or anything
No. 1123236
I feel safe opening up about this because another anon did, and I remembered stuff and it made me so, so angry. When I had psychosis I believed most of the world was full of selfish psychopaths who would abuse me if I continued having feelings and empathy. At the same time I was almost completely by myself in a foreign country. So, I coped by joining psycho groups on the Internet, and being an edgy shit, roleplaying as a mildly criminal femme fatale. Then, I got caught by a flatmate having hallucinations, told about it, and videotaped. They threathened me with it, because I said some complaints and dark jokes there. I believe they read my chats and web history while I was out of it. They thought I was faking it. Somebody went into my room while I was not there, looking for drugs and taking my shit. I had my sketchbook taken, some trash I was going to take out, chargers, my tablet, and all of my toilet paper, and this was BEFORE the rona. I was in a state of paranoia so I thought everything was possible, and believed them when they said I should clean my mess from the kitchen they made, take out the trash they filled up (I always ate out then), told me my friends trashed the front so I should clean it, and charged me $$ for bullshit like borrowing equipment and furniture upkeep (which I used twice and never damaged). I had PTSD flashbacks and thought they were going to hurt me somehow if I didn't do these things, and that nobody could help me because they would take my phone away. I hope whatever I did severely traumatized them for life.
No. 1123256
File: 1649070613123.jpg (485.67 KB, 1410x603, 1635342122892.jpg)
NOOOOOO I WANTED TO SEE MANIFESTO-CHAN'S POSTS TOO!
No. 1123471
File: 1649091228617.jpg (48.18 KB, 640x534, h5eb376h0xk81.jpg)
Nonnies I dumped my very short-time bf because he kept being shit to me with back-handed compliments and 'playful' insults but now I feel lonely because I can't send him memes and shitposts and can't spam him about elden ring anymore.
Sucks that even a shitty relationship has aspects you're gonna miss. I wonder if he misses me too but copes that I was a bitch anyway or something.
No. 1123516
File: 1649095634735.jpg (291.2 KB, 2880x1800, 295812.jpg)
>>1123508ze friend is a spy!
No. 1123550
File: 1649097477035.gif (8.47 MB, 320x176, Infinite Flex Dance Club.gif)
>>1123516Wrong, the spy is a friend
No. 1123583
File: 1649098868125.jpeg (238.36 KB, 1242x1884, F64B97C8-D581-49F8-8E78-E0FC6D…)
I hate teaching, I want to Kill myself, the kids are retarded, loud, rude. This little faggot almost hit me today and I honestly was ready to bitch slap him. It’s impressive how the classroom can be quiet and peaceful the moment you remove the little moid and his moidfriend.
I hate teaching, I never wanted to be a teacher, I just want to be an eccentric millionaire living in my eccentric penthouse, editing fanfics to turn them into famous best sellers and translating them so the world can enjoy them.
No. 1123792
File: 1649113326555.jpg (7.79 KB, 356x356, a206df4166d73d4821b25f9b59caa2…)
They found a tumor in my intestines too and it's pulling everything up causing telescoping (the tumor is pushed up through peristalsis and causes obstruction, eventually necrosis if left for too long etc.). They only told me today and I ate a fat bowl of oats before and fear for my life now over a bowl of oats. Why the fuck did they only tell me now?
No. 1123794
File: 1649113674694.gif (167.72 KB, 220x164, tired-af-insomnia.gif)
A post in here reminded me of a coworker friend who knew I was sorta looking for a guy to date and she brought up one of her her best friends.
He has his own house! He's love to travel! He's a lovable goofball! He loves animals!
Sounds like my kind of guy, let me think on it for a bit. So she was having a birthday party and I asked if he was going to be there, I want to meet him! Maybe hit it off.
Welp, she left out some crucial facts about him. He lives out of state and also he doesn't want any kind of LDR. haha great
Why the fuck bring him up unless you expect me to drop everything I have here for a dude that might not work out
This coworker is not mean-spirited at all, but she's very naive. (Like she once asked me to catch a neighborhood stray cat and transport it to another place because her dog hates cats and it might ruin their outdoor Christmas photos, oh no!!1)
I did cry in my bed about it since it's just another bad mark on my already shitty love life.
No. 1123795
>>1123792Oh
nonny I hope you get that tumor out and feel better soon
No. 1123800
File: 1649114479264.jpg (28.02 KB, 563x431, c98814c1cdb4d73f87ed247b656e6c…)
>>1123795I have an appointment with the surgeon tomorrow, so they're working on it, but I'm afraid to go to sleep. Thank you
No. 1123806
File: 1649114970603.gif (2.15 MB, 268x268, Tumblr_l_475659603217091.gif)
>>1123800I like to turn on white noise (air conditioner) sounds on YouTube when I can't sleep bc of racing thoughts.
No. 1123810
File: 1649115146009.png (596.75 KB, 572x719, 12098320347356547.png)
Why is it so hard to find a cute but functional swimsuit as a woman. The more fit I get the more I don't want to wear the equivalent of underwear at the pool and beach so men can ogle me. Maybe it's because it's in line with my misandrist awakening but I hate how the standard women's suit has your ass hanging halfway out with a skimpy bikini top that's only secured by strings and knots so you're praying nothing snags on it. I'm looking at board shorts right now and they're boring single colors or have prints that are either Hawaiian shirt rejects or flowers because ladiez luv flowers amirite guyz? Seriously this looks like a napkin design. Guess I'm going with the single color.
No. 1123820
File: 1649115587324.jpeg (92.69 KB, 706x460, E6F17302-B2E0-4B44-8D25-71C2DC…)
>>1123815I know that feel.
No. 1123849
>>1123847Eat papaya, drink Gatorade, if you feel like throwing up, throw up, drink a cup of boiling water while it’s still hot as fuck, get some Andrew’s salts. Do it
now.
No. 1123872
File: 1649123223866.jpeg (61.85 KB, 400x327, 3495FE73-AE1D-4149-8775-A17C69…)
bros i do not feel like a real person or part of society. the only people i talk to are my parents. i feel like i’m shadowbanned from life or something becoz every time i try to integrate or get out there it’s like i don’t really exist.
No. 1123875
>>1123867And burn the living shit out of your throught
I'm hoping the "while it's still hot" was meaning letting it cool off enough for you to handle it
Like with ramen
No. 1123907
File: 1649127690369.jpg (105.37 KB, 540x740, tumblr_o9n021U6EI1qcvru5o2_r1_…)
I broke up with my ex because we had nothing in common and he was compulsively lying about himself, but I can't stop romanticizing the self he presented to me and the future we spoke about.
He acted sweet, gentle, and pure (we shared our first kiss after two months of dating as awkward older virgins), and we naturally fell into a FLR sort of dynamic. I'm sure I'll never find that with a man again, but I also know I made the right decision. He'd tested some negging at the end so I'm sure catching him in lies was a good red flag to stop at.
Not fucking him and cutting all contact also probably contributes to my feelings since it allows me to see him as an untouched angel forever. Wish I wasn't a stupid purityfag.
No. 1123921
>>1123867I used to think so but I was once having a terrible as shit indigestion or food poisoning that was killing me, so some lady told me to try drinking boiling water as hot as possible and since I was desperate I tried it out and after 20 minutes I was perfect, like nothing happened.
Sure, don’t do it everyday and if you often have gastrointestinal issues go to a doctor, but during an emergency and when you got no medicine at home, it’s an amazing remedy.
And the idea is that after you drink it, you will either throw up whatever is messing you up or you will just get better.
No. 1123941
>>1123917Yeah, a best friend of mine growing up was a compulsive liar and it always got on my nerves.
Everything my ex did was clearly out of insecurity but having it come out in this ~
toxic~ way is something I can't deal with at this stage in life.
Also kek at your ex getting what was coming to him.
>>1123929I believe in his virginity the most just due to circumstance. He was genuinely fumbling with me and grew up in a very gender segregated and religious place.
However I do suspect he had more porn experience than he admitted. Can't prove it though so suspicions only.
No. 1124011
File: 1649141307837.jpg (38.44 KB, 430x365, rse.jpg)
>Be me
>Wish best friend would break up with her abuse moid
>Breaks up
>Me wishing she'd have a boyfriend again because now she constantly complains about being single and demands constant attention
>Meets someone and they're "almost" a couple
>Friend starts ditching me because he's her priority now
>Moid chooses all the activities when the three of meet up to do stuff
Why are some people like this?? Just yesterday she told me how stressed she was because she still needed to clean and her moid wanted to visit her at 2pm, so I told her to tell him to meet at 3pm instead, so she'd have time to do all her things and she's like "Nonnie, but what if he already wants to meet up now???" …then what? Does she think she's supposed to plan her day around this stupid idiot? And I'm 100% sure he wouldn't even do the same. He can't even text her back the same day Ughhh.
No. 1124026
>>1124022I have no brows
I'm round and pale
Yes I was born a ginger male
No. 1124029
File: 1649143492144.jpg (31.32 KB, 500x333, imHUNGRY.jpg)
the doctor won't diagnose me with schizophrenia because i am not unhinged enough, but i had hallucinations after a traumatic event in my childhood. how the fuck is that not unhinged enough?
>believe parents beat me up and yell
>think they call me stupid and my dreams not worthy to pursue
>believe that they are pedophilic psychopaths at some point
>can't give me psycho medication/it doesn't work anymore, so they try convincing me i am a schizo
>i think it's simply an insult
>new school, hallucinating 1 boy bullying me
>people tell me i am a schizophrenic
>years go by, i want to get on meds for whatever is wrong with me
>more years, afraid it is actually schizophrenia
>parents will not confirm or deny
>doctor says it's just anxiety
No. 1124047
>>1124029>psychosis>anxietyget a new doctor jfc
also maybe read up on the diagnostic criteria for schizophrenia
either way i feel like hallucinations are more serious than they seems to take them
take care
nonnie, mental illnesses are a mess
No. 1124048
>>1124029Although ig I should've asked how often you get hallucinations
like if it was just twice idk maybe some weird reaction to severe anxiety but still I'd probaby get a second opinion
No. 1124071
>my dog needed to be put down about 2 weeks ago
>I loved him, but I wasn't a 'pet mom'
>have a scrungly boyfriend who looks like larry david at the age of 32, but I love him too unfortunately
>bf never really felt much for dog, but tolerated
>after the dog was gone he was supportive enough, nice enough, 'there there, there there' enough
>we both lurk on this hyper specific local forum, mostly to gawk
>see a post from him stating 'most people kill their dogs because they become an inconvenience. We're like that as a society, use something until it's not useful anymore and toss it out."
> i ask him…. brother… is this a coincidence or are you trying to say something??
> no response.
The issue is not that he (incorrectly) thinks I put my dog down because it was an inconvenience to me, but rather the fact that he is so spineless and gutless that he won't say he thinks so to my face. He's had a few instances of similar behaviour, where he tells his scrotey little friends one thing but ASSURES me the opposite. I'm seeing him tonight and I think I'm taking him out to pasture, cuz ya know… when something isn't useful anymore you just gotta toss it.
No. 1124095
File: 1649150503431.png (217.1 KB, 400x400, f3167567e45c70e55070e486f22cb6…)
I want to eat something solid, I'm so hungry
No. 1124097
>>1124029Nonnie if your psychiatrist brushes off things as severe as hallucinations to "just anxiety xd" find another one.
I was diagnosed as "just depressed" for 7 years before finally finding a competent psychiatrist pretty recently that diagnosed me with BPD and ptsd. Sad (but not surprising) to say that most psy experts don't care enough about women to find another cause other than depression or anxiety for literally any psychiatric "problem".
Tbh you might wanna act a bit more unhinged to be diagnosed but especially to get medication, because in my experience they mostly give it to people that are a danger to themselves or others, but don't overdo it too much cause it could actually lend you in the psych ward. But again, it's my personal experience, might be totally different depending on where you live.
No. 1124104
>>1124074Im wasted so Im just gonna focus on the gap year part. unless youre planning on getting into a better financial spot during that, I wouldn't unless you
really really need it. you can always take a somewhat lighter load in college, especially if you have a community college which can transfer credits to a uni
Like imo college is a lot less stressful and shit compared to high school, you get a lot of room to breathe (assuming you dont overwhelm yourself which you kinda have to do intentionally)
I would really recommend just going for it instead of going neet (you can always space out electives and do 5years if you want low stress, or take a break part way through)
No. 1124125
>>1124118that sounds absolutely horrible,
nonnie. I doubt I'd be able to stay sane there like fuck. that. but also why chocolate instead of like cheese as bait?
No. 1124127
>>1124118Are your parents hoarders? Do they have any other issues? Or are they just lazy?
I'm sorry you have so little control over your environment, I know how it feels and it's hopeless. Like a bit of your autonomy is taken away. Different standards of what is 'norma' and 'okay' in a home setting can genuinely drive people apart/crazy. I'm assuming there's no hope for gathering everyone and being very frank about the fact that mouse shit and filth is not okay by any standards and that things need to be done? Let them cry and get mad but at least force them to face the problem. Idk… easier said than done…
No. 1124140
>>1124118Try bread, mice go bonkers for bread
Also yeah poison. Poison in every corner
Actually, get a cat. What is your family gonna do about it? Theyre such deadbeats they won’t even try to get rid of the cat. Go get a cat rn
No. 1124145
>>1124127oh yeah there's lots of other issues going on. my mom is a hoarder, my dad kind of is too but not to the extent my mom is. they're just really neglectful apathetic people, for example our shower broke 5 years ago and they still haven't fixed it and we've just been showering at the gym all this time, which in the winter is actual hell. I'd talk to them about the mice issue but honestly I've been in fights with them over this kind of thing before and it usually doesn't result in anything, it usually just makes it worse and puts more tension between us.
>>1124125partly because I have a cat and don't want her to get hurt by the mousetrap, she hardly goes in my room anyway but I'm afraid she might if she smelled cheese. also the syrup sticks to the mouse trap instead of the mouse getting it without the trap going off. that's pretty unlikely though I guess because the
trigger is pretty sensitive.
>>1124137my sister also deals with a really bad mouse problem in her room. it upsets her but at the same time she has a weird sympathy towards mice, for a while she wouldn't put traps out that would kill them and tried to catch them in a trap that would keep it alive then drive somewhere far away and let it loose. that didn't work though, she's finally okay with killing them. my dad was putting out traps in her room but I'm not sure what happened with that.
>>1124140I'll try bread, I'll probably start having to use poison too. I also have a cat lol, she's usually pretty good at hunting mice but I guess there are too many places for the mice to hide, also I keep getting terrorized by mice in my room but my cat almost never wants to come back here
No. 1124158
>>1124145>I dont want my cat to get hurtidk how much money you have but if you can afford it, I'd recommend these
https://www.amazon.com/Victor-M250S-Touch-Upgraded-Electronic/dp/B074Y2PW1Xiirc they work well and your cat cant get hurt on it
No. 1124169
>>1124145omg i am a horrible triple poster
something i just thought of though is you could do a cardboard and tape box around the trap with a mouse sized hole or something so your cat couldnt actually get to the trap
No. 1124172
File: 1649156481551.png (301.75 KB, 912x513, 2874923.png)
>>1124047>>1124048>>1124097>>1124103thank you. i told him i had hallucinations many times before and started describing some recent ones including delusions. there was one involving getting a check-up for a std even though i only ever had sex with condom and with std free person, but was nearly convinced i have incurable disease. then he interrupted and said, he doesn't see the check-up there, and he sees i used to be on antidepressants for anxiety, and if i want them again. i said not because they make me feel nothing. then he said, i need to decide if that is better than how i feel right now. yeah i feel better, but i don't want to hallucinate!?! it destroys my life because even if it happens just once in a new environment people assume i am batshit crazy, just because i thought they said something about my favorite tv show and i happily replied. they want nothing to do with me after that. people don't approach me often so i have to talk but that gives more chances of imagining conversations.
>describe 4 of your hallucinations in a text>this what you told me, don't sound like proper hallucinations>send email with my fears and instances of fake convos that left others confusedit happens a couple of times a month, so more than enough to fuck me off. why doesn't this moid care that i want a normal life. i will never have a well paying job or social circle if people think i am a scary schizo.
>gets stressed out at job and yells at coworker because i heard her yell and blame me for bullshit>manager has a talk with me about "we are responsible for our own health here, here is the agreement, can you sign it please, just, i'm asking nicely, it's a a- new policy, yes, just so you see, if you -somebody needs meds, they are responsible for taking them".kill me already, i am still waiting for the evaluation.
maybe i shouldn't brush my hair and only wear my cheapest rag clothes next meeting.
No. 1124181
File: 1649156987098.png (194.61 KB, 450x550, C4270CBC-6C80-48B9-B139-79960A…)
I can't help it but to feel like as if I'm constantly missing out. What are other people even up to? What treasures are there to be found at the corners of the Internet? I've spent my time on the same old websites, forums and groups for years, it's almost pathetic and kinda dumbs me down.
No. 1124182
>>1124145You can make somewhat pet safe mouse poison with instant potato flakes and various other common household products. This might be cheaper and more effective than traps for large numbers. (my dad used to take mice outside and guillotine them with a large shovel, yikes)
Idk where you live, but in my country, animal protective services can be signaled in order to confiscate pets from hoarder households and rehome them.
also does your sister have no income ? or are your two combined incomes still not enough to rent a place ?
No. 1124227
File: 1649161202936.jpeg (314.36 KB, 1150x819, 0763F51E-2DB4-4CCC-80C7-D864C0…)
I've been mulling over how I've wasted my life and tried my hardest in the wake of recent happenings to be able to let things go. Problem is it feels like utter shit and I want to fucking kill myself. I'm on my third or fourth breakdown since January. Since May 2021 I've been gradually losing my sanity. I have recorded myself on audio, I photograph my own relapses. To those who don't struggle with reality or depersonalization it seems like a deranged feat, for me it's to understand why and how. I have virtually no support system outside of a handful of friends, and I hate my own motherfucking family. Only six more months and I'm out. If I had the money and weren't so crippled by fear I'd leave right now. I can't take seeing myself like this. Nobody fucking notices what's wrong. They won't notice until I drop dead.
I look back on what I've done, what I've dealt with and I wonder how and why I can be so deranged, claiming leaving this place will fix me. will it? Can change fix this executive dysfunction. Leave this shithole, go to another, rinse, repeat? If I die alone in a city where nobody knows me, then I won't wound anyone with my death. The things I've done to keep myself alive have buried my will. a contradiction shouldn't be allowed to live. Everytime I chance anything decent it's left unfinished and falls on deaf ears. I'm broken. I've lost everything I've had, I'm broken.
With my recent actions I fear I won't be alive much longer, the schizo ideation is taking over. I deserve the wicked forces and thoughts I've invited. if they kill me, then it's well deserved. This is the destruction I manifested for myself without meaning, it's too late. Fuck the past five years as a whole for their uselessness, but especially the last two. Fuck me for arrogantly claiming I would flourish. Fuck me for saying there's a light at the end of the tunnel and I'd change. I'm not even worthy of personhood at this point.
No. 1124273
>>1124172Bipolar
nonnie here. I hate to say it but when you go to your appointment, do be unhinged and wear your dirty clothes. I got diagnosed a few years back and they let me read my theripast notes, they judge everything from how you look- smell- act- and if you have pressure of speech. I was almost turned down at the hospital when I was suicidal because I didn't "look depressed" (the assessor literally said to me 'you don't look depressed') until my counselor advocated for me that it was just the CPTSD that makes me have a 'front'.
The whole system is messed, and I'm a maple leaf
nonnie No. 1124286
>>1124230I was forcefully medicated before I was pubescent, never stood a chance. sometimes I wonder if that furthered my insanity, but I was able to make something of it for awhile, for a long time. when I was in my early 20s I had countless overdose attempts that I now believe gave me permanent brain damage. I don't know if I can see myself making it to my 30s, I listened again to my latest tape and all I can think is how worn my vocalizations sound, the strained breathing, how I can even make this heinous sounds, say these heinous words about myself, finally breakdown and acknowledge what has been wrong all along. Not just me, but how my ridiculous obsessions and coping mechanisms and this isolation has revived my anger and trauma, and I'm fed up with it. It's worse how I had the most clarity when I was drunk, high, had self harmed, and was screaming. It absolutely disgusts me
just some excerpts, and I was literally screaming portions of this as I recorded it in the confines of my car
>prior to this shit, I! HAD! A LIFE! I did not have a parasocial attachment to somebody twice my age. And it hurts so fucking much that I have gone down this path just to cope. >JUST TO COPE!>I can't look at my body anymore without feeling this utmost sense of repulsion and disgust, and I tried, I tried to get rid of it>this fucking rich person, most people don't realize, what it's like to be so addicted to DRUGS YOU DIDNT CHOOSE TO BE ADDICTED TO… this big pharma evil that has been forced upon you>I don't care anymore, I am so dull, I have literally used up all my resources, I am rotting from the innards out, and this has been the worst breakdown in my life>almost nobody knows it's happening>this should be an exitory thing, this should be freeing, instead it drove me into another breakdown>nobody understands how DIRE IT REALLY IS>I realize I deserved better too late, after this plague hit us, it ruined my life>oh god the worst part is that I wanted that herpes ridden bastard to fuck me, I still would let that stupid asshole touch me>worst part is physical attraction intermingling with fear, I don't want to fear what I'M PHYSICALLY FUCKING ATTRACTED TO>I don't want this anymore>just cut the shit out of my legs, and nobody's going to care>everytime I will for something decent to happen, it comes back to bite me>in all this I meant no harm to anyone but myself. No harm to anyone. And now, I'm losing it>and I'm just gonna die, or get murdered, or something>I tried my best, and I failed No. 1124408
File: 1649168776018.png (22.64 KB, 154x207, adult.PNG)
Simple shit are really hard to do today.
No. 1124414
>>1124286To extend on my retardation I am deathly afraid in this age and era of social media that celebs stalk information about themselves and I have defamed multiple dangerous male celebrities by reminding everyone what they've done. It feels like vengeance, but it's endangering to me psychologically. I cant trust knowing the anonymity of the internet that they have not seen me, and I am going to sound like a conspiracy nutter. I as a defenseless twentysome years old woman only have my words. somebody wants to find me, they can bribe a site to hand over my information. It's so schizophrenic to say this, but I read somewhere that one of these celebs was mentioned in an alleged witness account from the Maxwell trial. This peels back a whole new foreskin in the scrote depravity ladder that I'm not prepared for.
It would help alleviate the trauma my obsessions left me with if I could somehow do art or writing, but my drug ruined brain won't function well enough to let me work on anything. I sit all day in a daze when I'm not out and about. Strange things have been happening, glitches in my matrix, and I'm scared to be alone. Nobody cares. If I do not rid myself of this pain I'm going to either die of suicide or some health condition brought on by my years of abusing myself. Or maybe someone will kill me. I was fucked before this all happened. I've got a presentation I've got to do in 30 minutes and I'm about to cry my eyes off. I cannot believe I continue to function with all this pain inside me. I want to fucking die
No. 1124449
File: 1649171300853.jpg (35.28 KB, 500x340, 1632013188379.jpg)
Scrotes really aren't human. They see something positive, beautiful or pure and sooner or later, their impulse is to destroy or damage it.
It's like their seething over anything women are or create is in their DNA because deep down they know they are defective and inferior. They are born broken, so their primal urge is to destroy anything that isn't. You can see it everywhere in real life and even here.
No. 1124469
File: 1649172222243.jpeg (11.44 KB, 275x275, 1646854578297.jpeg)
I'm so lonely.. So lonely. I keep reading shitty sad/romantic poetry I routinely pick up from the discarded books and it makes me feel even worse but I can't stop. Only person who followed my secret poetry account I posted photos of these poems to was my ex and now it's just lonely, like screaming into a void. I yearn for companionship so much but men keep being so shit… After a string of one-month relationships which usually ended in me dumping them but still missing them afterwards like an idiot, I'm so drained.
No. 1124520
>>1124516There should be a rule posted for all boards on how to handle gore. I think some nonnas panic and want to make it disappear.
Not everyone has that experience so I could understand it being jarring.
No. 1124531
>>1124520I know that's why they do it, the problem is the spammers see it as validating when anons bump to bury the thread, it encourages them to keep posting more gore/cee pee
>>1124521>>1124526I guess I'm so disengaged and revolted by the state of humanity that none of this shit surprises me. I hide the thread or pic if I see it