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No. 344673

Unsure if you're actually straight? Actually gay? Anything in between? Ask for advice here.
Previous: >>153246

Also welcome are "late bloomers" who realized their true selves long after their teen years who'd like to share their experience and tell others what signs to look out for.

Please be kind to questioning anons, no matter how "obvious" it might seem to you what they are.

No. 344794

I feel stupid for asking but I'm scared I'm actually asexual. If anyone asks I'm straight because I only feel attracted to men through having crushes but people just don't actually turn me on. Even seeing an attractive male I actively have a crush on take his clothes off and trying to look sexy makes me feel awkward or more typically turned off. I want to feel attracted to people but I'm just not. Best way I can describe it is that it feels exactly like when I was like 7 and I had a crush a boy at school. I think as a teen I just assumed I'd grow into it but now I'm in my late 20s and I still feel the same. I've had boyfriends and had to pretend to be into them, which honestly feels pretty cruel even though I did like them. I just didn't actually feel sexually attracted to them.

Worst part is I kind of don't even believe in asexuality, I don't think it's "natural" and I think it's likely related to my autism even though I'm about as high functioning as an autist can be. What if I just have fucked up hormones or something and don't know it? Or worse, what if this really just is how I am and I'll never know what it's like to feel sexual attraction to someone? I'm too much of a chicken to bring it up with a doctor, my doctor is male and admitting to his face that I feel no sexual attraction feels really humiliating.

I even lie to my friends and pretend I think actors and singers are hot just so they think I'm normal, which is kinda pathetic lol at this point I even envy degenerate autists with weird fetishes, at least they have something to turn them on and I've got nothing at all

No. 344812

>>344794
>I'm too much of a chicken to bring it up with a doctor, my doctor is male and admitting to his face that I feel no sexual attraction feels really humiliating.
first get a female doctor, it's normal to feel uncomfortable with a man.

>Worst part is I kind of don't even believe in asexuality, I don't think it's "natural" and I think it's likely related to my autism even though I'm about as high functioning as an autist can be. What if I just have fucked up hormones or something and don't know it?

I do believe it's probably related to being autistic, a lot of autistic people seem to have atypical relationship to sexuality. but if you want to get hormones tested and this causes you great distress, talk with a female doctor.

No. 344826

>>344794
it doesn’t sound like you are asexual to me. most asexual people experience no distress or sadness due to their asexuality, and a good portion of them do not get this “awkwardness” or uncomfortable around sex; just indifference and lack of attraction, a more “neutral” feeling than aversion. i think you should reject the label because it obviously doesn’t suit what you want in life, don’t feel pressured to call yourself it. it sounds like to me its more related to fear or aversion to physical intimacy, which is super common. i hate to say the typical drivel of suggesting therapy but it might help.

No. 344834

>>344794
It's normal to have different feelings even as you age. You are worrying for no reason, what does any of this matter? Just feel how you feel and don't tie your identity to it

No. 344874

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Since middleschool I've had few ‘crushes’ on boys (nervousness, butterflies in stomach, giddiness) but I've always been sexually attracted to women’s bodies. What could that mean?

No. 344965

>>344826
>most asexual people experience no distress or sadness due to their asexuality, and a good portion of them do not get this “awkwardness” or uncomfortable around sex; just indifference and lack of attraction, a more “neutral” feeling than aversion.
Where did you get this info from? I would describe it as more of an indifference than uncomfort. It's the fact that I know I "should" be into it that makes it feel awkward. That I'm expect to feel something but I don't know how, even if I actually like the person. It didn't even use to bother me until recent years when I realized I want a family with someone rather than to live all my life alone.
>it sounds like to me its more related to fear or aversion to physical intimacy, which is super common.
I WISH that was it, but it's 100% not. I'm not a virgin, I have no trauma or some weird restrictive upbringing. I want to want intimacy but I'm just never ever in the mood for it. I've gone literal years without even masturbating as an adult because I just didn't ever feel like it.

No. 346366

i know everyone will call me crazy, but i'm pretty sure I'm a straight pussy fetishist. I'm really not into most things about women– not into boobs, not into curves, not into the general female body frame, not into 99% of female faces, but I do think pussy is sexy and beautiful. I would love to play with and lick pussy and it's a common fantasy of mine, but obviously it'll never happen irl because I'm not into women. What the fuck sexuality would you call this? Brain damage?

No. 346368

>>346366
funny and iconic

No. 346372

>>346368
i swear im not trying to be funny i'm deadly serious. i know it makes no sense though so i guess i'm not surprised people think it was bait or a shitpost. tfw you're so fucked up it's funny to other people. feels bad man

No. 346391

>>346366
A queen

No. 346627

>>346366
Well I've done more thinking about this and I have a theory. Maybe my fixation on pussy is self-referential. As in, I know what would feel good if it was done on me, so that's why I get turned on imagining doing it because I'm just imagining what it would feel like? (Not that i want to fuck myself because ew). I think this might be the answer because I realized when i fantasize about eating pussy my brain always mirrors the sensation onto myself.

Does this seem plausible? Can any lez/bi anons confirm that this sounds different than how their desire operates?

No. 346629

>>346627
It sounds like you just objectify pussies which is pretty classic het behavior. I don't think you're bi at all.

No. 346632

>>346629
can you explain what you mean by "objectify pussies" and why it's common for heterosexual women? I've heard people talk about it before but never could understand what it really meant, concretely. Like I struggle to understand the difference between wanting to eat pussy in an objectifying (straight) way and wanting to eat pussy in a non-objectifying (gay) way.

No. 346634

>>346632
>>346629
and also do you have any advice for stopping the fantasies? for months it's been the only thing I fantasize about and tbh none of my old het fantasies do it for me anymore. If I could bring back my normal fantasies about moids it would probably be for the best but idk how, or even why they went away. I really would appreciate any input anyone has because I'm so confused my brain is hurting itself on the daily trying to make sense of this.

No. 346635

>>346632
The difference between you and I wanting to eat pussy is that I genuinely desire women and all that comes with them - their physique in its entirety as well as their personhood - meanwhile you're 'attracted' to a disembodied, two-dimensional mental image. You even elaborate by saying that your theory is that your pussy fixation is self-referential, and that you don't care about other aspects of a woman, so I don't know what else there is to say; it's clear it's just a fantasy you developed, potentially with influence from our F/F bisexuality-fetishizing porn-obsessed culture. Which leads me into why it's common among hetero women: porn-brained men think two women fucking is hot and the internet is obsessed with trying to convince everyone that they're heckin' queer/bisexual and that being straight is boring/vanilla, so imagine what constant exposure to this does to someone. I've had a homophobic Christian "marriage is between man and woman only" woman brag to me about how she slept with another woman for a man's pleasure… not that that's entirely comparable, but my point is that it's not impossible for hetero women to be okay with doing sexual stuff with women. Plus, with the state of men nowadays, I think it's easy to understand why women would mentally start grasping for straws in terms of subconscious attraction to the idea of being bisexual or attracted to pussy. Sorry to ramble, just listing off some potential reasons why this attraction may have developed in you and why it develops in other het women.
>do you have any advice for stopping the fantasies?
Unfortunately not, but I wouldn't think hard on it. Many people have fantasies that they love thinking about while masturbating or sometimes while having sex, that they wouldn't want to step-by-step actually play out. Our brains are weird like that. I wouldn't put much stock into it or stress about it, anon.

No. 346638

>>346635
>>346635
I mean, I’m not denying my attraction is not the same as yours or saying that your examples of women showing off for men don’t happen, but I just want to say for me it’s definitely not due to thinking about men getting off to me eating pussy, that’s creepy and a complete turn off. That’s actually part of my problem, ever since I developed this fixation on pussy, I stopped being interested in men sexually.
>I wouldn't put much stock into it or stress about it
Yeah but like I said my old fantasies have gone away in favor of this current thing so I kind of have to stress about it because right now I’m stuck with a sexuality (I know it’s not a sexuality I’m just trying to describe the feeling) that I can’t apply to real life.

It’s like my experience doesn’t fit any typical explanation or label which is why i called it brain damage. It’s just really isolating having something like this develop and disrupt your life and no one can explain why, or even what it is.

No. 346640

I'm not questioning anything and want to cheat on and leave my husband for another woman, not a specific woman but just a woman. How do I go about doing this? I am having a lot of conflicting childcare issues as my husband mostly takes care of our daughter when I'm at work or school. Would finding a rich wife who's also a mom be too far fetched?

No. 346648

some anons pointed out in a different thread that based on my posts i might be bisexual and i can’t stop thinking about it

i like the idea of kissing a woman i’m attracted to and the thought of scissoring i find very hot but the idea of sucking on another woman’s tits feels weird and the thought of going down on her grosses me out (i’m sorry if that’s offensive i’m not sure how else to describe the feeling, i have no idea why, the thought just makes me extremely uncomfortable)

could i be bi or am i just a “spicy straight” or whatever they call it

No. 346653

>>346640
So you want to be a gold digger?

No. 346659

>>346640
Since the last few days, /g/ has had the same amount of creative writing as an average reddit sub. What do you guys get out of making up random scenerios?

No. 346693

>>346634
How about you imagine a moid doing those things to your pussy instead? Or a pussy, if it's too difficult at first?

No. 346710

I posted this in dumbass questions thread and was told to post here for some reason even though I’m not questioning my sexuality. Maybe they thought I was asking if I’m attracted to women but I literally just want to know if I look hot to them because I am 100% attracted kek. But anyway here’s the copypasta:

How do I know if I’m attractive to women? Like I know I’m considered attractive to men, not in a sexualized/bimbofied way but in a normal pretty or cute way. I want to appeal to the female gaze though.. sometimes I dress slightly more alt if I want a girl’s attention and to throw vibes out. I really don’t know what else to do haha. And I have even less clue of if a girl is flirting or open to even hanging out as friends. It’s so hard to navigate and I’m so lonely I’m afraid I’ll reek of desperation if I say anything ever

No. 346715

>>346693
I thought about your suggestion (thank you) and I’m not sure what to make of what I realized. For some reason it kind of disgusts me to imagine a moid eating me out, even though I used to fantasize about it in the past. But imagining a man doing that (or having sex with) a woman who is not me is okay, although the problem is I still wind up mostly focusing on the woman and how she feels, and if I think too deeply trying to picture a real guy, it turns me off. Which kind of brings me back to square one with getting caught up in the weird reflexive/mirroring thing instead of focusing on the man.

I used to have a handful of male actors and characters I’d fantasize about being with, and I’ve tried to go back to that, but it doesn’t turn me on at all anymore. Writing this out makes me realize this sounds like some sort of trauma response, but I’ve never had anything traumatic happen to me, especially not sexually. I was googling last night about if there were any observed cases of a person switching sexualities after brain injury, and I didn’t really find anything kek, and plus I didn’t hit my head so I guess that’s a stupid theory too.
If this fixation on pussy was the only aspect, and it wasn’t paired with a sudden revulsion towards men, I feel like this would be easier to brush off because I could just focus on the men I like and ignore this weirdness. But I don’t have that to fall back on because my attraction to them has mysteriously disappeared without explanation and was completely replaced with this fixation.

I guess the only thing I haven’t admitted yet is that this all happened after I developed a big crush on an androgynous woman, not a TIF but did dress like a man and flatten her chest. I guess what I liked about her was her “masculine” features that were more soft and elegant than an actual man’s but just as handsome. I did also have a crush on an actual (not on hormones) TIF back in early high school… but I just wrote that off as confusion and forgot about it and tbh I was too young for me to really properly evaluate what I was feeling. That got me thinking though that maybe I just have a thing for TIFs? But then again I really don’t like the ones on hormones because of the voice change. And if this was a thing for me why didn’t it pop up until now in my life? So all in all idk and it just makes it more confusing which is why I avoided even bring this part up in my first posts…

No. 346748

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For women:
>sexually attracted to women since puberty
>get physiologically turned on by women
>sexual fantasies involve women
>enjoy beauty of women
>but can't envision myself having a relationship with one or actually living out those fantasies; it just doesn't feel right?
>never had a crush on any specific girls, although I've had few female friendships
>always feel weird and autistic talking to girls

For men:
>not turned on by men at all
>don't find men good-looking, at best they're stylistically interesting
>find male bodies repulsive I hate penises
>magnetic desire to have relationships with men however?
>can only envision myself dating a man
>have had many male crushes, but paradoxically without really finding them attractive? Just like "I really want to be close to this person and get to know him"

I have had a boyfriend for a long time, whom I really cared for. He started as my best friend and I still sort of viewed him that way the whole time: as my closest friend. I don't get turned on by him, but he's the only guy whose body I don't feel disgusted by, so I like examining him like a retard scientist studying some creature (he thinks it's a weirdo thing to do but lets me). A lot of people have said he's not good looking but I don't really care. I've hated every sexual activity we've done and wasn't aroused for a bit of it. I would fantasize about him sometimes but was really in it more for the emotional intimacy and would think of women again if I wanted actual arousal.

(He knows all that, btw, says he's fine with it. Recently I've wanted to break up with him for irrelevant reasons)

He and my friends who are familiar with me all call me a lesbian but I feel like it'd be stupid for me to say that since I have no desire to pursue women. I just have thoughts and sensations about women, I look like a normal straight girl to any onlooker. I feel kind of awful about my situation since I feel like I will never be normal with either a man or a woman. My ideal is maybe marrying a guy and never/rarely having sex. What do you make of this? Am I just stupid

apologies for ESL

No. 346750

>>346748
if you may be a lesbian, it seems it's creepy he's still willing to be with you but maybe i'm being harsh. you might simply have such internalized homophobia you can't recognize it. lots of lesbians used to identify as asexual or use the split attraction model to deny their sexuality, you may be in a similar boat of being that repressed. or you have a very low libido.
>I look like a normal straight girl to any onlooker.
plenty of femme lesbians or more feminine lesbians are in this same boat, if you're not a butch or dress in a specific style that sounds expected.

No. 346769

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Every time I’m with this guy he asks me if I’m gay or bi? It’s weird cuz like i feel like I’m in love with him but on the other hand I don’t really get off to him when he is physically around I feel like my pussy dries up. But as soon as he leaves I’m wet and horny af! Idk if it’s nerves or what! It’s not just him it happened with every guy I’ve been intimate with. This current guy is literally my type to a T but I realize I like the feel of my own soft hands cuz when he touches me I just feel dry callous man hands and it turns me off. His hands aren’t even dry they just feel dry compared to my own.

I’ve always thought about being with a woman but I just don’t think I’m worthy to ever date one and I don’t want to waste someone’s time and be that straight girl plahing with a lesbians heart. So I just stick to dudes but idk it’s like I like the idea of men and having sex with them but not the reality

No. 346774

>>346748
It doesn't matter what you think of when you're jerking off, you're a bihet and bound to end up with a man you feel no desire towards. Be honest to the women you're so AttRaCtEd to, don't waste their time. Because you'll eventually dump them for an obese Nigel anyway.
I'm straight and honestly you whores annoy me so much. Oh women are so beautiful and sexy but I could never see them as romantic interests and people with emotions, only fuckdolls to use and discard. I get goldstar only lesbians now, gosh you people are fucking annoying(bait)

No. 346788

>>346748
why are you so resistant to the bisexual label? why do you let your creepy boyfriend and your friends all make a meme out of lesbians and let them asspat each other about how lesbians will let men rape them with your leading-by-bad-example? is that what lesbians are to you - self-hating women who'll let any fugly moid use them? you hate yourself AND you're letting him use you, but that doesn't make you gay lmao. you're a textbook bisexual with the textbook coveting of homosexuality despite never ever bothering to or even wanting to unpack your homophobia and internalized biphobia

No. 346791

>>346769
if you only liked the idea of men and not the reality then you would not be actively dating men and seeking them out. youre attracted to men, and stop being with the ones who dont turn you on, dating isnt charity work. tell your moid to moisturize or something idk

No. 346793

Do you think it's possible to figure out your sexuality without ever having sex? I've never even kissed anybody. I've been calling myself bisexual since I was 12 but is it really possible to know that for sure without having sex with both men and women?

No. 346795

>>346793
yes. sexuality is about what sex(es) you're attracted to, not who you had sex with. straight people know theyre straight from childhood without having sex first, as a big example.

No. 346798

>>346748
You're not attracted to your boyfriend because the majority of men are obese hairy beasts who put zero effort in their looks. That doesn't make you a lesbian. So many female doormats date males they're not attracted to out of pity. Grow a spine, stop pretending to be lesbian and dump him.

No. 346811

>>346750
>internalized homophobia
I guess that's possible, a lot of it isn't really not wanting to be with a woman as much as not knowing what that would look like for me. I'm not repulsed by the idea.
>>346774
I don't call myself lesbian or lead women on, precisely because I feel like some online poser. My thoughts are secret except to certain friends and I don't exactly agree with their takes.
>>346788
I used to claim bisexual but I felt awkward about it due to fears that I'm being disingenuous about it. I don't really call myself anything right now and I never agree with my friends weird attempts to label me.
I don't regularly have sexual contact, we've only had sex maybe 3 times. People say it "gets better" but it gets worse. Tbh there are reasons I feel like I can't leave the relationship easily (don't want to say due to private info being linked to it) and i got complacent. Part of why I'm trying harder to leave now is because I wouldn't be able to stand having sex again.
>>346791
I don't seek out men to date, this is the only guy I've ever been with and it just sort of happened because we already spent time playing video games and watching movies and such together. I knew him since I was a kid.
>>346798
I probably will leave in the next few days. Just need to sort out some complications.

No. 346829

>>346811
one of the ayrt. i hope you dump him and it goes as painlessly as possible, no matter anyone's orientation no one should stay with someone who they're not enthusiastic about. maybe stay single for a while to practice enforcing your boundaries in less vulnerable contexts/relationships? your friends sound weird as fuck for trying to force a label on you especially in that situation. are you sure they're not petty straights laughing at (their idea of) you behind your back? good luck nona

No. 347201

i don't know where else to post this that doesn't make it sound like a weird fetishy reddit post so here goes. i've always wanted to impress the guys in my life and seem funny and interesting to them, even when i haven't been attracted to them at all. no matter if the guys were handsome or really ugly, i still wanted them to think that about me. i think part of it is because i grew up hanging out with my older brothers friends when they would come round to see him. they were 5 years older and as a teenager i always felt so proud when they said that i was funny or different from other girls. when i was 15 there was a guy who had a crush on me, i didn't like him but i liked the attention. likewise, i've had some "crushes" on male celebrities, but the idea of actually dating them always made me feel frightened and grossed out. even imagining kissing them feels wrong. since i was very young, i had terrible nightmares about men raping me - i even used to fear my teacher and my grandfather would do that to me - and i was bullied by boys in middle school for my autism. i know i like women, but because of everything above, i struggle to tell if i'm attracted to men too. all i know is i don't want to date or kiss a man. i guess i could just not label myself but i am really confused and i would appreciate a response.

No. 347926

>>346366
>>346715
I'm still thinking about this and I feel like maybe it's just that female genitals and butt are just prettier and cuter than dick and balls. Or like, more elegant. Lately my attraction to men is coming back a bit but I just can't get into dick and balls like I used to for some reason. I can't shake the feeling that they look kind of hilarious and stupid hanging off of them like that. Female genitals look so much more well-designed and compact compared to male ones. Do any other straight women feel the same?

No. 347929

>>347926
>straight women
Okay I'll take your word for it but this post is so suspect

No. 347932

>>347929
ayrt, what do you mean?? i genuinely don't know what you're trying to imply… im not trolling if that's what you mean, this is just my sad, sad life of horrible confusion.

No. 347953

>>347932
I think she means that you sound like a moid but I kinda understand what you're saying, I feel similarly.

No. 349263

>>347201
bumping my own post in case somebody has some input

No. 349282

>>347201
You might be a lesbian. The fear and avoidance can sometimes be mistaken for reasonable fear of males as a het/bi woman (especially with your history of being victimized) but if you have no drive to actually be intimate that's still a huge flag. Compulsive thoughts about rape are also a flag imo, you're aware of what men want to do to you and you're internalizing it. That intimacy with males only comes up as violation is very poignant.

Wanting to be with men but not being able to go for it is one thing, but not feeling that drive is an indicator. Sexual attraction is magnetic, you really feel it in your bones. You do seem inexperienced just based off you not knowing if you like men at all vs you knowing you like women. If you consummated with a woman and still had doubts then I'd say you're probably traumatized and bi but you sound like you're a virgin to me. Don't label yet, get some experience as it comes naturally and then you'll be sure. If you start dating men then it's going to muddy the waters because they are masters of coercion either by direct means or by baiting sympathy out of you. You may get roped into acts you don't actually want but won't be able to contextualize as violation because you may be coerced into consent. Start out with women you feel a genuine attraction to and take it slow. Just be honest and don't attach a label just yet imo. Best of luck.

No. 349938

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Recently, I have been experiencing and orgasming from sexual fantasies about other women. For a long time in my life, I believed and thought myself to be a heterosexual woman. However, recently, I sat in my room and focused on imagining myself having sex with a woman to answer my own question about my sexual orientation. Expecting myself to be grossed out like I was years before, I just wasn't. I enjoyed all of the features to such thoughts with other women. The kissing, the cuddling, the groping, the cunnilingus, fingering, etc. At first, I believed this reaction to the fantasy to be due to my relaxed emotions at the moment. But the fantasy kept going back into my mind, making me sexually aroused everytime I closed my eyes and thought about having passionate sex with a woman. Putting my fantasies to the test and see if they had any weight to my arousal, I decided to masturbate to these fantasies…but contrary to my expectations, I never failed to orgasm. I attempted to cope by telling myself that my reaction to these fantasies meant nothing, and that I must still be heterosexual. But I couldn't help but ponder how valid my heterosexuality must be, if I'm aroused to the concept of having sex with women. I tried telling myself that this attraction to women could be from loneliness, or desperation. However, I have never felt lonely, or desperate for a lover go be in my life. Not even with men, who I believed I was solely attracted to.
I want to say that I would be comfortable with the idea that I may not be heterosexual after all, but I have fear about the real memories I have with experiencing homosexual activities. As a child, I have been taken advantage by all of my best friends, which were all female. Though these relationships didn't all happen in the same time frame, they all introduced me to kissing, licking, and dry humping. They even pressured me into taking off my clothes around them. However, although I look back at these memories with disgust, how I felt in the moment of these events had been enjoyment. Now, I fear that my newfound attraction to having sex with women is actually a subconscious coping mechanism to move past what happened to me as a child. I'm afraid of allowing myself to keep enjoying such thoughts about other women, afraid of letting my mind normalize the disgusting things that happened to me in those fragile years of my life.
I believed that I understood myself quite well. But it seems that everytime I get closer to understanding myself, the less I really know the person I am. It feels pathetic to be an adult and still not know such basic things about yourself. I don't trust my mother enough to tell her about these thoughts, and I have no friends to vent to. In my life, I'm all I have about this new issue with myself. It shouldn't be this hard for me to move past this problem, but the attraction to women won't seem to go away. I don't understand what's happening.

No. 349959

it's difficult to come to terms with the fact that I'm never gonna figure this out. I'm never gonna know what I am and I'm never gonna find anyone else who has my experience with sexuality. I've already always been different than other people in other, less serious ways, so it's like why couldn't I get cut a break on this front? Why couldn't I just have a normal sexuality and find love like other people can? I'm already alienated from others in other aspects, couldn't I have gotten to have a chance at romantic and sexual companionship at the very least? I know the world doesn't operate by "fairness" though. Some people just draw the short end of the stick on a disproportionate amount of things. And i was lucky enough to be one of those people.

No. 350033

I can't figure out the line between friendly cuddling and sexual cuddling. The kind of cuddling I want to do with someone (people would say) is too intense to be platonic, but not sexual enough to be, well, sexual. I'll never be able to do it with anyone because friends would be like wtf stop and romantic interests would be like "and…?" when it doesn't escalate to sex.
Perpetual victim and long-suffering resident of cuddle limbo.

No. 350062

>>350033
You might be trying to cuddle the wrong sex, or you could just be someone who needs to take it slow. Some people have to build trust before they can unlock arousal, that is okay.

No. 350079

>>350062
Ayrt, the way you described it as
>You might be trying to cuddle the wrong sex
has me rolling because it makes it sound like I’m a confused male zoo animal trying to hump another male kek
But I’m not convinced there is a “wrong sex” when it comes to cuddling? I’ve always wanted to cuddle with other females much more than males. Maybe it’s some sort of weird maternal thing, since little kids typically like cuddling with their mom more than their dad and I think that’s natural (?) so… I’d almost posit that females are just objectively more cuddleable. (Generally softer and cleaner and more into cuddling themselves, while men tend to complain about their gfs wanting to cuddle with them etc). And I don’t think thinking that makes me gay. But the world says it does make me “not straight”. I just don’t get it.

No. 350089

>>350033
idrk what u do when cuddling but me and my friends would straight up spoon each other when cuddling and it was nbd so maybe the people around you just aren't super used to touch. its possible that a few would warm up to more intense(?) cuddling but also that their comfort line will stay rooted to where its at. maybe ask a few bi or les friends kek, not saying anything about your sexuality but some straight girls are just repelled by anything more intimate than a hug when it comes to other women

No. 350103

>>350089
>straight girls are just repelled by anything more intimate than a hug when it comes to other women
Really??????? But then you say you and your friends would spoon, how does that work, unless you guys aren’t straight…? And yeah spooning is definitely more intimate than I have ever been with friends. I’m just confused because I get conflicting messages like “oh yeah I basically make out with my friends all the time that’s normal” (which I’ve never experienced) but then also “uh no that’s not something straight friends do.” As for me personally I have mostly an urge to nuzzle with my head and kiss someone on their temples or something. Sounds weird to type out but yeah. I wouldn’t do it with les/bi women though out of principle because I feel like it would send the wrong message which is unfair of me to do.
I guess this whole line of thought is kind of stupid though because I don’t even have any irl friends and haven’t in years and probably won’t have any for the foreseeable future at this point so what do my desires for cuddling even matter when it’s not like it’ll ever happen. Maybe I’m just lonely and it’s manifesting weirdly.

No. 350192

>>349282
thank you anon for such a thoughtful reply, i took some time to mull it over and i think you're right. all through my life i had very intense female friendships and fantasized about having a female partner when i was older. notably i had none of those thoughts about men and instead felt repulsed by the idea that i might have to marry one. i think that's a strong sign, as you said.
you're also right that i'm inexperienced, i'm in college but i've never dated anyone or had my first kiss yet. i worry sometimes about that inexperience, especially when i see my friends hooking up with people and dating but i figure i'll wait until i'm ready to do those things.
thanks again anon, it felt good to talk to someone about it. i'll try take my mind off it and focus on other things until i'm ready to get out there.

No. 350267

>>350103
kek nona I said SOME straight girls, not all. for your census purposes, im lesbian and the women ive cuddled with were mostly bi, but there were also straight girls who liked the contact. spooning, extended hugging, laying our heads on each other etc, its not like everyone did just the same thing either. kissing on the temple sounds a little weird to me to do with just friends, but there are people who kiss all their friends on the cheek so you just have to find someone on your wavelength, i guess. i also like head nuzzling tho.
i think your intensity could be influenced by deep loneliness, which is understandable, and you can take the edge off it by making friendly acquaintances to scope out to be friends with later idk. i definitely experienced it before. best of luck with improving human contact, nona

No. 350320

>>350267
hmm. idk then. I think maybe i'm very lonely but also not totally straight. I have some friendly acquaintances but I don't enjoy my time with them even though they're nice. I think there's something broken in me where I have a physical craving for cuddling and closeness but I don't enjoy socializing. And you can't get the former without the latter, so I'm basically screwed forever. To be honest i think some people just have unfixable brains and personalities that are incompatible with happiness in a human society. So it's no wonder I'm always so confused about sexuality and friendship, i was just born wrong.

No. 350338

>>350320
whats this doomerbait mindset nonnie? have hope, you're "fixable," you just sometimes wish you weren't so you could give in without guilt
>also not totally straight
an easy litmus test is if you want to touch and/or eat pussy you're not straight. or try imagining marrying a woman and spending your lives together
>friendly acquaintances but I don't enjoy my time with them even though they're nice
that happens a lot, it just means you haven't found someone compatible. it could also mean you dont let yourself try to get closer to friendly acquaintances and so feel dissatisfied over something you can control
>I have a physical craving for cuddling and closeness but I don't enjoy socializing
you want intimacy and closeness NOW bc you've been lonely for a long time, that is a normal desire that unforch cant be fulfilled right away. you dont enjoy socializing bc you dread using your energy for something that might or might not have rewards, and bc the ppl you reach out to might not reach back
>i was just born wrong
absolutely incorrect, you were just born into a messy world filled with complicated people and complicated systems. stop doing morality math with your life and thoughts, you can do it nonnie!!

No. 350398

>>350338
I don't think the touching pussy thing is a great test. Many of us don't want genitals out of context especially while we're virgins, doesn't mean we're asexual lol. The smell, the feelings, the texture etc become intoxicating in person but if you ask a female virgin about genitals they often don't have a very positive response, usually it's lukewarm at best (pussy or dick, I've seen this in both OSA and SSA women who are inexperienced). As for spending lives together, some people just can't picture a future in general. Especially if you're not an avid media consumer fantasizing about things like this won't come so naturally to everyone. Some people don't have very strong sex drives either, that is a huge reason why people get confused. If any of the anons here had high sex drives or enough intimate experience they would not be questioning to begin with.

I do think that anon is being a doomer though, some things just take time. Don't put yourself down for being lonely and liking cuddling, this is not something that makes you a FREAK WHO CAN'T LIVE IN SOCIETY. Come back down to earth please!

No. 350411

>>350398
ymmv, it worked for quite a few of inexperienced bi and les women i know. tell nona how you found out if you have a more helpful way then, especially since she came into this thread talking about cuddling and having no friends and maternal instincts

No. 350429

>>350338
>>350411
>>350398
im the anon. Sorry for being a doomer im not trying to be it’s just how I feel and I have nowhere else to talk about this. I’m also not sure the imagining touching/eating pussy thing works because even though in my head I do like to think about touching/eating pussy I’ve never had a crush on a woman I know in real life and so I think I only want to do it because I’m lonely or something and it fucked up my brain idk. because if I try to think of anyone I know irl who i’d want to be intimate with I can’t come up with anyone. so I think it’s just a fluke of a troubled brain. Of course I’ve really only ever had like 1.5 irl crushes anyway (and it’s been like 10 years since) so the sample size isn’t very high. But still. Sorry I didn’t mention this part earlier but I don’t really take it seriously or think it applies like I said I think it’s just a glitch in my brain especially because I didn’t always used to think about it and it’s pretty new. I probably make no sense though

No. 350820

File: 1696162476159.jpg (37.85 KB, 468x567, IMG_6625.jpg)

i have no idea if i'm bi or a lesbian or what. i realized i was attracted to women very early on in life. i remember having crushes and kissing other girls at like age 8 when i was just learning what that stuff was. i had girlfriends throughout secondary school, i never wanted to date men. i was pretty much out as a lesbian in school and i was badly bullied by my classmates for being gay and i got so much shit from my conservative/homophobic family. my father found out i had a girlfriend and made me break up with her and stop spending time with her. after that i really wanted to be bi because i thought it was better than being a lesbian since at least i could have a "normal" relationship. i started to think that because there are some men i think are attractive i was actually bi, just with like a 95% female lean. i got a boyfriend in uni and we dated for less than a month. he was way more into me than i was to him and i was honestly pretending to be into him. just i really wanted to be straight and finally make my parents happy kek. we fucked a few times and it was awful, i realized that male bodies make me feel disgusted in real life. he would do the same things i like when women do but i would just be so disgusted and turned off because it was a man. i broke things off fast because it just felt so wrong and weird. dating women has always felt so easy and comfortable. i actually enjoy sex with women, it's never been weird or forced. i crave the emotional connection with women and i could never have a life partner who isnt a woman. i think although i can notice some guys are better looking than others and appreciate a man's appearance in terms of aesthetics, i am not attracted TO them. i can never see myself wanting to date a man, i don't fantasize about men or think about them in a romantic way. i feel really embarrassed and bad about having an ex-boyfriend and i don't know if i can actually call myself a lesbian since i willingly fucked him. should i just say i'm bi with a strong female lean or a febfem or whatever?

No. 350821

>>350820
I'm sorry anon. I don't think it's anything to be ashamed of, but I understand some lesbian circles have this silly gold star fixation. If anything I think your attempt at dating a guy and the disgust you felt cements the fact that you are gay. You tried and now you know 100% it's not for you.

No. 350878

>>350820
people make choices they wouldnt have otherwise made under duress/pressure/coercion, and your case definitely falls under that via social conditioning and your homophobic family. if anyone tries to tell you otherwise theyre an asshole

No. 351161

>>344874
Same, except I haven’t got them since middle school. I try to imagine myself fucking a guy, and it just feels disgusting and wrong. Maybe I am bisexual and just repressing it, but if I am, I’m febfem.

No. 351162

>>351161
Wait yeah, sorry for samefag but I do genuinely have this question. I had big crushes on guys (sometimes forced ones) in elementary and middle school but then once I entered high school I only loved women and only wanted to fuck them, and I never liked guys again. Some of the guy crushes felt genuine back then, though.

Also I started having gay thoughts when I was 11 so for a few years I thought I was bi. Now I just identify as a lesbian.

Has this happened to anyone? Was I just faking straightness or is something else going on?

No. 351463

If you want to lick and kiss a woman's body in sort of worship-y way but not have sex with her what does it mean. Trick question I know the answer it means I'm a retard.

No. 352233

I don't think I could truly have a romantic, sexual relationship with a woman because I'm really hardwired to find men attractive but I've gotten off on amateur solo female content because I genuinely like it. What I'm doing? I want to say it might just be pornsickness warping my views from a young age, especially because I've never had a crush on a real woman, but that's still 'a' sexuality. Does the porn consumption make it more or less 'legitimate' than another woman's non straight sexuality? Idk if I really believe in the Kinsey scale but I'd score myself as a 1 at most and I think there are 'straighter' women out there who would never do what I do and be disgusted by it. I've said in the past I'd never go on the gay dating scene because I can't give another woman a long term relationship like marriage if she wanted it but I don't do hookups, I don't seek to date men either, I don't want to 'experiment'. Is this bi? I think I'm more bi than a spicy straight and admittedly I would judge a person if she said she was bi but it turns out to be finding a female celebrity very beautiful or something like that, that doesn't count in my eyes.

No. 352251

>>352233
No you’re not bi you’ve just been watching porn from a young age and learned to insert as a moid voyeur and objectify women purely in a sexual context. If you wouldn’t want a relationship with a woman irl and only masturbate to porn then you’re not gay or bi, just pornsick and have internalized misogyny. 90% of self proclaimed ‘bi’ women are like this, 90% of bi women are dating a man.

No. 352436

>>352233
>I don't think I could truly have a romantic, sexual relationship with a woman because I'm really hardwired to find men attractive
>I've never had a crush on a real woman
>I can't give another woman a long term relationship like marriage if she wanted it
>but I don't do hookups
You don't sound bi. Maybe stop watching porn for awhile or look into resources for healing from early onset porn use, because it likely warped your sexuality. Watching videos of other people having sex or masturbating isn't the same as having sex in-person or feeling attraction to someone, it's just cheap stimulus to get you off. Back when I watched porn it was mostly background noise to get me off faster, I had no attraction to the people in it or interest in doing the things I saw with someone I loved (which was when I realized it's unhealthy for my understanding of my own sexuality).

I notice it's so common for straight women to be brainwashed by oversexualized media imagery of women just as much as men are; If you think a conventionally attractive woman in porn or a celeb is superficially "hot" but you wouldn't have sex with and/or be romantically intimate with one, I don't see that as same-sex attraction.

No. 352516

I feel like a stunted idiot a lot of the time. I knew I liked women from my teenage years, but was raised in a very homophobic, religious family with helicopter parents who controlled my every move. In college, I was asked out by a man and said yes, resigning myself to the fact that that was the only path I could take that would please my family. I stayed with him for several years and had sex maybe three times, in which I would get high, starfish and pray for it to be over as fast as it could. At the end of the relationship, I was proposed to and said yes, told my family and everything, but a month later I cut it off because it was making me feel sick with guilt and grief. I feel like the entire time I was with him I was walking through some kind of dream world and trying to make everyone happy while basically dissociating from life, and that was the thing that finally woke me up. The idea of marriage and children with a man repulsed me so much, even though I stayed there for so long just going through the motions. And he wasn’t even mad at me because he knew I liked women the entire time, but he was regretful he didn’t leave earlier. I think he stayed because I was a “safe” person who just did what I was supposed to do. I feel like I’m broken inside or something. Who commits to something like that for that long knowing they don’t like it? I’m terrified that any woman who meets me will think I’m insane for what I did, even when I say and know I’m attracted to women only. I would probably kill myself if I continued on a path that forced me to be with a man again.I feel like I endured so much trauma growing up that it really fucked up my life. Even here, I keep expecting to be berated for doing nothing for so long and thinking I could just be used as an example for other people on how not to exist, because I was so fucking miserable through it all. What kind of person does that? I don’t know where else to post this, because even though I’m not questioning my sexuality, I’m terrified other lesbians will find me disgusting or tell me to get out. I have a few friends who are lesbians, but I can’t even talk to them about it because I feel like they’ll think I’m batshit and fraudulent.

No. 352535

>>352516
I never forced myself to enter a relationship but I have been abused by men growing up and thought it made me bi when I was a teenager, even though I was attached to girls even before that happened. I have a similar fear that I'm "damaged goods" and unwelcome among other lesbians (I keep my trauma a secret, the only friends who know were also abused), but I try to tell myself that normal every day lesbians aren't like the crazies online who accuse everyone who had a different upbringing actually straight/bisexual.

No. 352956

How does sexual attraction to women look and feel like? When I think of women in a sexual context while aroused, I just think about rubbing my whole body against theirs and humping their different body parts, like attempting to fuck something that I clearly am biologically unable to fuck. It's unlike how lesbian sex is done (oral, fingering, tribbing etc). What goes through lesbian's minds when they're aroused by another woman?

No. 353468

>>352956
Some lesbians do like this anon. If you’re wanting to hump someone regardless of being able to penetrate them, that’s still sexual attraction. Not to get super personal, but that’s how I fantasize a lot too (although I also imagine penetrating women despite not being able to). I think it’s not abnormal, but please someone tell me if I’m wrong.

No. 353610

What's up with me? I experience romantic and sexual attraction but I've never wanted to be in a relationship. I'm finishing college soon and I haven't had my first kiss. I'm not stressed about it because everyone goes at their own pace and I'll find someone someday, but I don't really get it. I daydream about marrying my eventual significant other and fantasize about stuff, but the idea of being in a relationship irl just doesn't appeal.

No. 353614

>>353610
same for me, it feels like too much investment for too little reward to me. i cannot make space for a real person like that in my life. i don't think it's anything wrong.

No. 353622

>>353610
It’s okay to feel that way. Society places a huge emphasis on the relationship escalator thing, but it’s not for everyone. I admire people who don’t abide by it tbh.

No. 353765

>>353610
I'm like that too, when I was in middle/high school I was longing for a relationship because everybody got one and I was sold the lie it was the best thing that could happen to you, but when I lived on my own for the first time I enjoyed it so much I realized I would never want to be in a relationship. I also don't experience romantic attraction and my libido is so low I'm a borderline asexual, I think I'm just a weirdo.

No. 356316

>>344673
I wonder what lolcow will say about me. I live in a homophobic country and I always struggled with homosexual attraction irl, but when it comes to masturbation I usually go to het fanfiction, though I never felt any attraction to a male irl and never to any actor I tried to skim female-centric places like Pinterest, or here on /g to find a male that I would be attracted to, but failed, but sometimes to a 2d dude with a male VA. I don't have much sexual experience, but I had sex with women and a TiF and I'm currently like on a 3rd year of celibacy and not willing it to break it to try a dick or something, though I do have a penetrative vibe. I also suffer from schizoid personality disorder, so maybe my sexual orientation is just classical femcel kek

No. 356323

>>356316
you sound like youre bi w a preference for women. pretty based

No. 356328

>>356316
Femcels don't exist. Your either an incel or volcel

No. 356359

>>356316
You sound literally like me, except I'm a virgin.

No. 356392

>>344673
I'm super frustrated with my situation, not because i'm personaly bothered by it but because people treat me like a freak. I have never felt the urge to date have sex or kiss anyone to be honest i'm rather put off by the idea and have no sexual drive whatsoever (i do not believe in the whole asexual crap however) the only people i can feel attraction to are my husbandos and occasionaly a cute woman but even then i don't feel any desire to date her and would rather be her friend. What is this, genuinly asking and curious if theres other nonies who can relate?

No. 356563

File: 1698987917017.jpeg (Spoiler Image,621.23 KB, 769x974, A7AA7B94-1A5D-4933-9674-65E535…)

Thought I was bisexual for awhile but have only dated moids and I always envision my future with a moid. The idea of sex with a woman doesn’t gross me out but it doesn’t really excite me either. I think women as a whole are more attractive than moids but I can’t think of a time where I was truly as attracted to a woman as a man. I have felt attraction on some level but it was never as intense as it is with moids. Accept that I’m straight and just want to be with moids, THEN find this instagram influencer who looks exactly like the moids I go crazy for but is a gnc lesbian and I kinda want to fuck her??? I don’t even know anymore.

No. 356600

>>356328
Oh my god shut up incels don’t exist even the ugliest moid can pay a hooker way out of his league to sleep with him(infighting)

No. 356778

Being in a relationship with someone sounds great on paper but the thought of another person seeing me naked (especially a man) is horrifying to me. I am a sexual being and I have had romantic attraction before. The problem is I can't break the barrier of "Omg girlie you are sooo pretty!" to "I like you we should go out on a date" when talking with women. 'Predatory Lesbian' and all (when you think about it, it's kind of fucked up that this is a stereotype constructed on the understanding that men's attraction to women is inherently predatory based on how they express or exert themselves about/on women thus there must be correlation to a lesbians' attraction plus the subversion of women having each other's backs when it comes to male transgressions, but I digress.) At the same time, if I wanted to I would right? But I just don't know if I would be making a mistake…

When it comes to men I cannot get over their overt, digusting, desperate, animalistic lust that clouds the very fibre of their 'being'. The courtship of males that I have experienced thus far has all been so very grotesque to me and it has made me question my own attraction to men; do I want to be with a man or do I want to train one? Both questions make me feel retarded for 1. Thinking that deeply into something that comes so easily to everyone else around me and 2. If I do think this lowly of men why do I still try to engage with them as romantic and sexual prospects at all? What I'm trying to say is; I objectify men in the same way that men objectify women. But that's extremely embarrassing to admit because it's moid tier and feels unproductive to view another person this way, even though I feel somewhat justified in it because of the world they built and blame women for. Does anyone else feel similar or am I retarded?

No. 356779

>>356778
I know exactly how you feel, anon. I wish I knew the answers.

No. 356785

>>356779
At least we are not alone, I'm happy that long ass post resonated with someone out there. I know we will figure it out one day.

No. 356871

File: 1699117704175.jpeg (2.3 MB, 1920x1080, D8305812-9671-46C2-95A8-12889E…)

What does it mean if I only like women with short hair. Even if it’s the same woman, if she has long hair I feel nothing but if she cuts it suddenly I think she’s cute. This might sound retarded but I went out to watch the latest Saw movie with a friend and thought the saw guys assistant lady with the (admittedly stupid) short hair cut was really cute (picrel even though you can’t see her hair kek there aren’t many pics on google yet), but then when I got home I looked her up and saw pictures of her in previous movies with long hair and different styling and she did nothing for me. What gives…?

Also I feel like maybe I never realized I might be into women because I never saw non-overweight women with short hair? This might make me sound like an asshole but the typical slightly-to-majorly overweight short-haired butch never did anything for me either. At least where I am from you pretty much never see taller skinny women with short hair. But one day I saw a piece of media that included many long-limbed, short haired women and I could fall in love with any of them probably.
Is it normal to have a type this specific or am I just confused somehow?

No. 356872

>>356871
Seems normal to me. I react the same way when a woman cuts her hair, though opposite of you I usually fall head over heels for them if they are chubby or fat, I just think short hair suits bigger women so well, especially if they have a cute, round face.

That's not the discussion though, kek. Having a type is completely normal. Getting together with someone with short hair and then breaking up if they decide to grow it out is not, by then you'd probably have fallen in love more with the person than the haircut, hopefully!

No. 356873

>>356871
I’m phoneposting and somehow accidentally made a thread of this post so I’d just like to announce to everyone that I’m killing myself immediately

No. 356875

File: 1699118457997.jpg (61.58 KB, 640x426, lots of sovl.jpg)

i refer to myself as bisexual to keep it simple but i don't think i have it in me to feel any type of "sexual" towards a penis. it's not even the penetration that freaks me out because a woman with a strap is okay with me but going anywhere near a man below both of our belts is horror to me and 0% sexually appealing. i don't think i've ever really fantasized about having sex with a man, when i'm in the mood it's always been a woman and even when i was (briefly) in denial about my attraction i just repressed having a sexuality at all and didn't let my mind wander very far. when i'm horny i'm only ever thinking of a woman. but i don't want to call myself a lesbian in case i somehow find myself attracted to a guy (i know how homophobic this sounds, mr right and all that) one day and have… a family with him. it's probably because i want to make my parents happy since my brother isn't having any kids and thus the responsibility lies on me, and that they're extremely homophobic due to religion/my thirdie muslim environment in general. i want to spend the rest of my life with a woman and i'm certain that if i end up with a man i'll live with regret for the rest of my life, but the fact that there is a possibility is what's keeping me from calling myself a lesbian. i feel like if i really was one i wouldn't ever think of this. when i was younger and i first came out to my (older) friends they told me that i should wait it out and i'll see the appeal in men when i grow up, with puberty and hormones and everything, and i'm still waiting now that i'm 19 kek. i mean, i can definitely recognize when a man is attractive and even find myself drawn and expressed it, but it wasn't ever something serious. i just don't know. i don't know if it's retarded to be like "labels are for soup cans" but i've been struggling with this for the last 4 years.
i'll walk you through a bit of my history, i was 10 when i realized i was gay because i thought i couldn't ever be attracted to a male and just couldn't see why anyone would, and i was 11 when i came out to someone in real life. then, later in middle school i pretended to have a crush on an older guy with 0 intention of ever interacting with him in any way just so i could say i did and have fun with my friends because i thought i was supposed to have that experience (which i'm glad i did because that was one of the best years of my life, we had so much fun). that was also the time where i adamantly denied i felt any homosexual attraction because i was bullied a lot. before then i felt something of a crush on a girl from a grade above me but i didn't really want to be in a relationship with her either, just friends i was also a kpop fan kek as was she she just made me nervous and i was completely infatuated with her following her around everywhere and would draw her portraits i never handed her (thank god), she spoke to me once and it felt like i forgot how to walk after she left. then in highschool i reclaimed my homosexuality and some years later i fell in love with my bestfriend who actually said she liked me before but it was too late by the time i reciprocated and nothing came out of it, we fell apart and disappeared from eachothers lives since. i feel like i lack experience but i don't want to waste my time with a man ever and i don't think i could ever mesh well with one with the way that i am, i'm already reclusive and never been fond of moids and thus never had any kind of relationship with any not even my own family kek. so i don't know. i really don't want to be another example of a formerly-lesbian-labelled-newly-discovered-bisexual woman, i don't want to pose as anything and it feels wrong of me like i'm lying so i'm sticking with bisexual for now. i mean how would it look if i said i was a lesbian and i suddenly have a boyfriend or something. i guess it's not as serious as i'm making it out to be in the grand scheme of things but it's been agonizing me for years kek.
TL;DR: i am 100% certain in my attraction to women but i'm afraid i'll find myself attracted to males sometime in the future which i'm not sure of at all as thinking of them sexually doesn't ever cross my mind if not as a scary/gross intrusive thought, not to get off at. basically i don't want to call myself a lesbian just in case because i don't want to be one of those bisexuals and yes i know there's nothing actually wrong with that.

No. 356991

File: 1699144182218.gif (1002.64 KB, 500x278, IMG_2257.gif)

Idk if im truely bi or whatever but i find myself strongly attracted to tomboys. Idk if its some sort of like brain mechanism thats like “masculine = male”, but last year when i was still a senior in hs, i developed this weird crush on this 6ft tall black tomboy girl and it was fucking weird because i could have sworn i was completely straight. She’s not even that masculine looking shes just a tomboy.

No. 356997

>>356991
I have this same problem. Extremely androgynous women really do things to me. I remember when I was in (early) high school there was a TIF who I was acquaintances with who I had a crush on from the second she walked into math class on the first day of school because I couldn't tell if she was a boy or a girl.
My current crush is a woman with an unusually androgynous face and she gets insulted by people for having a "long, mannish face" but I secretly think she's the most gorgeous person I've ever seen in my life. If I was a sculptor I would sculpt 5,000 portrait busts of her. I hate poetry but I could write poems about every line and curve of her face. There's no man with a face that delicate around the edges and there's no other woman with a face that dramatic and sexy.
To further complicate things, though, my biggest and only celebrity crush in middle/high school was an androgynous man. he's nothing compared to the sexiness of my new crush but whatever, I liked him back then.
I've definitely been into maaaaaannnnyyyy more men than women in my life though, so I was ready to write off TIF-chan as a 14 y/o's confusion… but then I developed a crush on the androgynous woman i mentioned that is bigger and more burning and intense than any I have ever had in my entire life. So all that to say… I'm lost too.

No. 357058

I've had sexual dreams about women that are extremely arousing and upon waking from them I always masturbate to the memory. But the only time I've been sexual with a girl irl was when I was high as fuck as a teenager so it's a bit of a blur. Even if I hadn't been high I wasn't sexually excited by anyone I dated until adulthood, late bloomer I guess. So it's hard to tell. Ah well.

No. 357320

I'm having trouble figuring out if my gay thoughts are just intrusive thoughts or if they are real or maybe both. could it be both?

No. 357343

>>347926
I'm still here, suffering… I just want to be straight again. Why can't I go back to being straight and into men? How do I get it back? Whatever i have now is so broken it causes me endless shame. I just want to go back to when I was straight and stable and thought I knew myself.

No. 357363

>>357343
Hi nonni I read your previous posts and I think you're bi. You probably have a type for women (androgynous) and because you've awakened this attraction relatively recently it's quite strong and obscuring your attraction to men for now. I went through something similar, (repressing my type in women bc I was ashamed of the type I was into. Not saying this happened to you but it caused a similar intense fixation at first.) It sidelined my attraction to men for a while and tbh it's still that way. This is like intense bi-cycling if you're familiar with that term, (when you prefer one sex over the other for a while.) I think you should take this time to explore your attraction to women (since your mind is still on pussy) It can be disruptive to your sense of self at first but I think it's worth it to work through these feelings. It's hard to predict when or if you'll go back to focusing more on men but I found crushes usually set off another round of cycling lol. As in, you crush on someone irl or an actress which will focus your attention to traits that crush has in other people. Like wearing suits, or glasses or having a pussy.
Also, it's common for people to have a "type." If your type is androgynous women or butch women and you fantasize about eating her pussy your same-sex attraction shouldn't be put into question. People might doubt it themselves, (especially if you're bisexual) and tbh you'll have to be okay with that. It's imperative you delve into this yourself so that you can be sure of your attraction and you won't need outside input to decide your sexuality. Only you know who and what gets you off. Outside speculation can just further confuse you at a certain point. You have a history of finding men attractive so you are attracted to the opposite sex. You are now discovering you can be attracted to the same sex. This, to me, concludes that you are bisexual.

As for the "self-referential pussy eating" and possible influence of pornsick flavoured girl-on-girl het fantasies, it's important to make a distinction between the two. Projecting onto an objectified depiction of a woman bc you get off to being perceived that way by men is not the same as getting off on giving a woman pleasure because you know how good it would feel on you as well. The former involves a man's gaze, the latter is just between two women. From #my own fantasies# as well as reading the female fantasies thread on /g/ (you should check it out and post there btw it might help,) it's not uncommon to switch between roles in same-sex fantasies. (You pleasure her, you know how good that would feel on you, it intensifies your arousal imagining doing it to her and her doing it to you.)
Apologies if I rambled on a bit, but you'll get through this nonni it's alright! Don't work against what you are feeling right now, lean into it. Your truth is in you and you know it, all there is left is to accept it.

No. 357824

Not sure where to start - I’m late 20s so essentially a grandma in terms of exploration. I’ve always felt like there’s something off about my relationships, something wrong with me. In my straight relationships I just want to be abused in bed, but never cum and really get more pleasure from the pain and the ability to please or mentally dominate a man

With my current partner (man) I’m starting to orgasm after 5 years together, but only with a vibrator while I’m not paying much attention to him. I was with a trans guy for a while before my current bf. I wasn’t into the trans thing as much as I was turned on by his former masc lesbian self.

My relationships with women have always been way too intense and close - it’s always one best girl friend and always obsessive. So I don’t have girl friends anymore, and am scared of other women tbqh. It doesn’t help that I’m extremely hyper feminine - other girls seem to think I’m a pick me or full of myself because I’m conventionally attractive. I don’t think most women realize I’m afraid to be friends with them, so I don’t even have same sex friends anymore

My first sexual and romantic experiences as a kid were with other girls. I’d even tell people so and so next door was my girlfriend. There was a lot of “you be the boy, I’ll be the girl” play at sleepovers

Lately as I notice I’m not feeling passion with my bf, I’m also noticing how attracted I am to certain celebrity women, particularly Phoebe Bridgers and Margot Robbie. I regularly think about them dominating me when I masturbate. My bf gets visibly angry and aggressive anytime I mention a “girl crush” because he knows I’m really serious. The porn I used to pick was centered around violence and punishing women, and I feel so much repressed aggression towards women, usually anytime I meet a new woman at work I stalk her socials and get angry and/or jealous of her but then find myself really invested in knowing about their life and obsessing over them in private. Some of the jealousy stems from wondering if she’d please my bf better than I can, worry that she’d try to steal him, etc. But if you remove my bf from the equation I’m just shyly infatuated with (and afraid of) women I find attractive

Is all of this anger, aggression and weird obsessions with specific women just a way of my mind coping with extremely repressed homosexuality?

No. 357825

>>357824
Forgot to mention that more and more often over the last few years, I dream about being with my female crushes, or having a beautiful gf that I’m in love with - and more than not
have woken up missing my fictitious dream girlfriends. I find myself really craving female connections but am so afraid to pursue female friends, especially with my jealous streak and obsessive tendencies

No. 357826

>>357824
Also the sex I had with the masc lesbian to trans guy (basically just looked butch) was the best sex I’ve ever had and I did enjoy all of it, including eating pussy. I was really in my element and thought it felt more genuine than faking it for a man

No. 357841

File: 1699586426275.jpg (71.86 KB, 564x553, halloween.jpg)

i've known that i've liked women for a very long time now (probably since i was 8 or 9) and have pretty much always identified as bisexual with a strong preference for women. for the past few years i've been going back on forth whether or not i'm lesbian.

a lot of time i think to myself that if i lived in a perfect world where being gay was not as looked down upon i would just choose to date women exclusively instead of men at all. this is going to sound retarded but i usually just pursue men instead because it's easier IRL. my family isn't insanely homophobic but they would not see me in the same light if i was with another woman. i'm scared that this is the sole reason i date men, and not because i'm actually attracted to them. i'm a virgin so i can't go off of much sex wise, but when i masturbate it's almost exclusively to women. this is stupid

No. 357868

>>357841
Stop dating men then, it's not hard.

No. 357972

The answer to every single nonna in this thread is: just go try eating some pussy sis.

I used to question my sexuality too but then I had sex with a woman and was like "Yup! I am definitely a fan of this!"

No. 357973

>>357972
What if I don't want to though? the thought of eating pussy is gross and wonder how bi/gay women put up with it. A dick's easier to deal with and I'm a virgin.

I assumed internalized homophobia was to blame. Turns out I'm not into pussy. Women are nice–I'm not blind–but their energy's repulsive if that makes sense? I always had this affinity for men even as a kid but I could never put it to words. It's just…normal. I'm so use it that once I encountered my first lesbian, I didn't quite like their vibe and screwed off. Even now I don't agree with their taste but I respect it. No offense to any ssa nonnas here. it's a me thing.

>>356991

It's perfectly normal. Even moids like the occasional femboy. Our mind is like a monkey. If it sees something it likes, neurons start firing and the little boat man tips his hat. I've had it happen to me a lot of times that I questioned if i'm bi or not. Ultimately, if they're naked, would I still like them? Answer's no because I'm not drawn to female bodies.

No. 357983

>>356563
Most not homophobic people don't have a "eww" reaction whenever they're imagining themselves having sex with people of their same sex. It's mostly indifference. Having sexual feelings about someone means actively desiring to fuck them, not being unsure about it. I think you're straight, but she looks masculine so your brain think she's a moid. Plus you're envisioning your future with a moid and were attracted to them before so one "exception" (not really an exception) doesn't make you bi. Girl crushes aren't different from boy crushes when it comes to feelings involved, so it'll be obvious when you have it.

No. 357986

>>357058
Dreams are dreams. Sure some of them have "hidden" desires or whatever but other times they're just dumb. You'll feel weird shit with them and after waking up for a bit. Have sex with a woman when you're sober if you want to see whether you like it or not.

>>357320
Intrusive thoughts are intrusive, so if you're confusing whether it's actually gay thoughts or intrusive, it's most likely intrusive… Unless you have some sort of trauma, in this case it could be. Do you get pleasure from them but maybe feel a bit embarrassed? Or are they straight up uncomfortable and bad? Latter means they're intrusive.

>>357824
First of all, late 20s isn't late to explore sexuality. Some women did learn in their 60s or 70s. I know you might not be seeking relationship advice but your relationship with your bf doesn't work out at all from what I've read, so why are you still with him if you don't feel any (or rarely feel) attraction anymore? You said in all your straight relationships you want to be abused in bed and the porn you used to pick was centered around violence and punishing women. Are you in a relationship with him because you're trying to imitate what you saw in porn? Is it a fetish for you, being humiliated, abused, degraded, dominated or something similar? From the things you mentioned about your childhood, you seem like a lesbian, however from the things you mentioned later it sounds like you have a screwed view of sexuality because of porn and your past experiences. I'm saying past experiences because surely (or most likely, could be wrong) porn couldn't have that much of an effect on you, so it must be something else that causes this. I think that before getting into a relationship that's something you should work on and ponder. Are you having self esteem issues or self destructing thoughts? I'd suggest seeing a therapist as well.

No. 358017

>>357986
> Do you get pleasure from them but maybe feel a bit embarrassed? Or are they straight up uncomfortable and bad?
Somehow… both. Idk.
>>357972
I think you’re right but I’m really scared of pissing someone off or making them feel bad if it turns out I’m not actually into it after all, I know lesbians especially have a lot of painful experiences with fake bi women who turned out to not be into them and I don’t want to do that to someone. This is 100% the primary reason I don’t think I’ll ever do anything with a woman in real life. If it turns out bad I’d probably be so embarrassed and guilty I’d straight up kill myself of shame. Even just thinking about it makes me panic. My fantasies and thoughts in my head aren’t real and can’t hurt anybody, so I think I’ll just stay celebrate and stick to that. Also I’m not the other anon above talking about an exception, but I’m in the same boat. If my unattainable crush wanted to sleep with me I would absolutely not turn her down but other than her I don’t know. Lately I’ve been trying to tell myself that I’m not a bad person even if I am a misguided straight woman who fantasizes about a certain woman in my head. But I still feel guilty about it for some reason? Like I shouldn’t be allowed to fantasize like that about her because I’m straight and I’m fetishizing her or something or thinking of myself as bi when I’m not which is morally wrong. I don’t know what my problem is. If I sound insane that’s because I think I am.

No. 358139

>>357973
Its interesting you say that, that attraction could be detected by how you feel about male or female energy/vibes

In contrast, for me, the energy of men repulses me. It feels like men are creepy and repulsive and take up too much space. Dicks seem alien and gross. And I don't want one near me, it seems ugly and filthy.
As for women, it feels much more natural to be around them and there's like a "carnal" attraction to hot women. Like I was almost "meant" to be with a woman. Meanwhile it falls flat with men, like a shallow disappointment.
But I still can feel sexually attracted to anime husbandos, so would that make me some strange flavor of bisexual?

No. 358154

>>358139

I get it. I thought dicks were gross too because keep worming their way in lesbian shit but again, it's because two energies are at odds. having the masculine vibes downstairs never worked because the basement of a woman wasn't built for it. Contrast with guys, where it doesn't feel all that off. If a see male character with feminine energies overcoming the masculine vibes, my brain shuts down and I feel nothing.

The reason you find anime husbandos hot is their energy is vastly more feminine than masculine. My brain doesn't see those guys as male, thus I don't feel attracted to them. you, likewise, do. It's not crazy actually since a lot women can easily cosplay as these characters but most men can't.


not saying you are gay. who knows, maybe you never found a moid you liked. But once again, consider it during your daily think time.

No. 358156

>>357983
She has her boobs out in the picture, it is pretty clear that is not a moid. Of course who knows if anon would be into her irl but masculine women arent the same as men.

No. 358191

>>358139
imo its not a "strange flavor", i know quite a few bi women who like anime husbandos but are turned off by 3dpd moids and their hygiene/violence/general loserness/etc. theres been a new term coined for female-exclusive bi women for a few years now on radfem/adjacent spaces called febfem

meanwhile i and the lesbians i know never had husbandos bc the character is still male, and so by default, not anything we're even capable of being attracted to. genderbends of them can be a different story, but that's bc those are female versions of the character, yk?

No. 358309

I'm at the point where I think I want to try a dating/hookup app to meet up with a woman, but I'm so terrified of being seen by someone I know or have known irl on there. I live in the same place I grew up so there's a non-zero chance. I'd be so mortified. Maybe if I was more confident in my sexuality it wouldn't bother me this much, but I already feel vulnerable enough as it is exploring something I don't fully understand about myself yet, to be SEEN doing that by people who know who I am is suicide-fuel.

No. 359067

File: 1700113580100.jpg (17.3 KB, 340x291, 1698897558270.jpg)

I feel stupid for saying this, but what does it mean if your fantasies are mostly… directed at yourself? I've always focused on the thought of what my own body would look like, and there'd be women and some select men involved but they're more like actors to set up a scene and I barely think about what they might look like. I don't really feel attracted by other people's bodies or drawn to have sex with anyone… I am interested in romantic relationships (in theory with either a man or a woman but I don't have much real experience) but it's purely based on friendship/intimacy and not physical attraction. I mean I still recognize when someone is hideous and I can appreciate when people look nice, but it's like seeing a pretty flower, it's just aesthetics and they don't arouse me. Why am I like this? It makes me feel guilty honestly…
what should I even call myself? Neither bisexual or asexual really feel right, at the least I don't really relate to stuff either group describes and they both sound misleading in some way. I always felt like the "asexual but thinks about sexual stuff and would have/want to have sex" thing was dumb too

No. 359085

>>359067
Kinda, I have a hard time finding other people attractive and I mostly fantasize about shit being done to me rather than doing something with somebody else, I think it has less to do with my sexuality rather than my control freak issues.

No. 359093

File: 1700136361455.png (1.42 MB, 974x3899, 1660319497566.png)

Reminds me of this comic. It's something a lot of people feel. But I think in our society because of how much a woman's appearance is valued, mostly women become hyperobsessed with their appearance and how they look to others. You may have ocd, body dysmorphia, insecurity about your looks, dissociation etc but there's also the case you're perfectly normal except this one issue. First you need to work on self acceptance and remember that in a relationship you should think about what your partner makes you feel not how you look from your partner's point of view. You have some other issues to work on that prevent you from forming relationships with other people.

No. 359094

Samefag, meant to reply to >>359067

No. 359131

>>359093
This is exactly how I feel. When I watched porn I tried to get off to men, but they just didn’t turn me on. I might be a porn rotted straight woman who just gets off to women because I can’t see eroticism in men at all or something like that, I haven’t called myself bisexual because of that. I don’t want to call myself something I’m not.

No. 359282

>>359093
I think I was like this to a larger degree when I was younger but not really nowadays. Idk, I'm self-conscious on camera but in normal life I don't really worry about my appearance and I'm pretty confident with my looks anyway. Idc about makeup or shaving if that proves anything.
I've had one ongoing relationship (with a guy) and we get along really well, we just don't do sexual stuff very often and that's not an issue for us, but I wish I felt attraction the way other women seem to…
Idk how to describe this exactly, but I don't really focus on how I appear to others in my fantasies, it's more like… strongly envisioning what it'd feel like to be in a scenario, and thinking about erogenous zones?
>>359131
I had a similar experience, before I quit porn I would only watch videos with women only because I didn't get anything out of straight stuff. That and a lot of the porn moids were genuinely ugly. People tell me that's a sign of being les/bi but I've wondered if I'm not even attracted to women and it's just like a subconscious self-insert thing

No. 360044

I am currently in a relationship with a moid that treats me very well, but I was previously in a relationship with a porn addict for 2 years and that has really harmed my mentality. My current boyfriend is aware of my extreme anti-porn and radfem stances but I genuinely am suspicious of him using some sort of porn because I am not a naive retard and he is a scrote regardless.
Anyways, I genuinely am not sure what to do. I love him, he turns me on, etc etc but I am wondering if this is truly for me. Am I really meant to be with a man? Sometimes I fantasize about women, and I read the female fantasies thread only instead of anything pertaining to moids. I dated a woman for a few years years in the past when I was a teen and I genuinely miss her a lot. We talk in a friendly way every day (we basically just play iMessage games and gossip) but sometimes I wonder how much better my life would be if I was with a woman or perhaps her. I don't really have romantic feelings for her, but she is a lesbian and I think that is why my brain is just attached to her. I don't know how to put this into words.
I am not sure if I am just in the closet or if I just really hate moids to the point where I cannot trust any of them. It also doesn't help that my OCD makes me feel literally fucking insane so this is HEAVILY on my brain.

No. 360048

I thought I was a lesbian until recently, I’ve never been attracted to a man irl nor have I ever had any romantic or sexual experience with a male, but this year I started being attracted to several male actors out of nowhere. No offense but I’m actually overjoyed, I hated being a lesbian and my family was extremely homophobic towards me so this actually improved my mental health significantly. When I was younger, I kept being told by therapists and psychologists that I was just so severely traumatized that I was repressing my attraction to males, I thought they were just being homophobic (and to a certain extent I’m sure they were of course) but I think they were technically right. Once I healed more from everything I went through as a child I started experiencing attraction to those actors. I’m probably never going to act on my attraction since I hate men and I’ve still never been attracted to a man in person, but at least I know I’m bi now and don’t have to hate myself anymore. I’m less suicidal now because of it.

I’m concerned about “coming out” as bi now though, I hate myself for being part of the stereotype of a traumatized bi woman thinking she’s a lesbian. In my defense, it really wasn’t my fault, I didn’t experience attraction to males for most of my life and felt repulsed by them and the thought of anything sexual or romantic with them. Most people irl didn’t know I was same sex attracted since I don’t bring it up unless someone asks, so hopefully it won’t be that bad.

No. 360073

>>360048
If you don't start dating men you don't need to come out as bi, you just need to say to any prospective girlfriend that you're a febfem, that's enough.

No. 360201

I'm sorry this is so gross butdoes anyone think porn can warp your perception of your own sexuality? I read a lot of yaoi as a teenager (cringe I know) and I feel confused now because I don't think I like real men. But I also hear people on here say you can't be lesbian or it's a sign you are attracted to men so I don't know. Sorry for such a weird post.

No. 360236

>>360201
this is a not uncommon question for this topic, for longer answers I'd recommend reading this and maybe the previous thread with ctrl+f for 'yaoi' and 'porn'. Short answer: yes, porn can warp your perception on sex and attraction and what you find attractive, but it can't change innate sexuality.

No. 360244

>>360236
Thanks anon, I guess I should've lurked more. At least other people can relate and it's not just me. Also to clarify I didn't mean it can make you gay or straight or anything, just affect the way you view sex

No. 361618

If I don’t like boobs so I can’t be gay, but I don’t like facial hair/stubble or male stomachs so I can’t be straight… what does that make me? Half-attracted to both sexes but neither fully? How is that a thing?

No. 361632

>>361618
>I don’t like facial hair/stubble or male stomachs so I can't be straight
Sexuality goes beyond superficial traits like these. There are many straight women who also find facial hair and "male stomachs" unattractive.
>Half-attracted to both sexes but neither fully?
You haven't actually stated what you find attractive about either sex, only what you find unattractive.

No. 361638

>>360201
When I was a teenager I was kind of pornsick and constantly looking at hentai/fanfics/sometimes IRL porn shared by friends/etc. warped my own perception of sexuality, because it was just looking at other people having sex instead of thinking about who I liked and wanted to have sex with. Especially since it didn't involve me, I would get bored of "vanilla" sex or romance stories and look at things that are more "new" and exciting to me (kinky, etc.) even though I wasn't into the idea of doing it in real life.

I think most artwork/stories aren't as bad as real porn and can be fine in small self-aware doses, but if you have little to no experience and it's your only exposure to sex it can mess you up in a similar way to people who watched porn at a young age. I became a TERF/SWERF a decade ago and cut out IRL porn, but I ended up also "detoxing" from artwork/stories because my use was unhealthy and I feel like I have a more grounded view of my sexuality now without it.

No. 361652

>>361632
Well, I guess I was trying (poorly) to get across the concept of liking and disliking a constellation of male and female traits, but neither enough to really want to get with either sex. If you want a list of what I like, then:
>broad shoulders
>female hips/waist
>tall stature
>female soft lower stomach (vocabulary?)
>flat chests
>female thighs (males legs are kind of gross looking)
>deeper voices (male and female)
>big/defined noses (much more common in men)
Etc. If you want to get into genitals then it’s the same deal, there are certain aspects I like about both but certain aspects I find unappealing about both. One of the ideas that turns me on the most is a woman with a big clit like some TIFs do It’s like I’m hardwired to be attracted to some sort of “androgynous ideal” that doesn’t exist in real life. I guess the people who come closest are TIFs, shamefully. But I don’t agree with transgender ideology, so it’s not like I could date them. Basically, what the hell is my problem?

No. 361659

>>361652
Not sure if this helps but I'm bi and really relate to everything you said. I don't like big boobs and I like when women have broad shoulders and deeper voices. I also really like body hair on women and for some reason thick eyebrows are my favorite trait for anyone to have. I absolutely despise facial hair on men and I also hate a lot of male traits like big muscles and dehydrated/overly defined lower stomachs. Most men that other women find attractive disgust me kek. I've accepted I'm just bi with weird taste, imo preferring androgyny in both sexes isn't really /that/ strange, just rare. Androgynous people are definitely out there but it's hard to find ones who haven't completely bought into gender ideology

No. 361663

I suppose this is more of a vent, since I don't think I'll ever find an answer lol.

Somehow I've known I "like" both boys and girls ever since I was a child - obviously, as limited as my understanding of relationships was. The thing is, I've never had crushes or _real_ romantic interest in other people. When asked for crushes, I've always picked an answer, since I knew I _had_ to like someone. I've been curious about relationships and sex, I've read a lot and explored the web, and I really really wanted to try it all out, but it just never really clicked. So, a couple years ago, I decided I was an aromantic bisexual.

In the last year, I've started questioning whether I'm really attracted to men at all. The aversion started to grow worse and worse. I had my first sex with a dude, whose looks I liked in general, drunk after a party, and while I felt neutral in the beginning, I've come to be so badly repulsed and poisoned by that memory that just thinking about it makes the brain go "no no no no stop". Now don't get this wrong - it was consensual. Mentally, I wanted to explore and touch a dick in real life, if only to know what it's like. But it didn't feel right. Long story short I realized then I am not attracted to men and dicks.

Women on the other hand… I am genuinely happy to be with women. I prefer women on all levels. I've come to completely phase out men out my attraction-related thoughts, and I feel quite comfortable with that. But here's the part three of this mindfuck: what if I try having sex with a woman & go through the same experience as I did with a man? What if I'm actually asexual? On the flip side: what if I'm not aromantic, but just scared/emotionally closed off? I'm somewhat autistic and my family wasn't great growing up, so perhaps it's just fear of intimacy in general?

I don't think I'm fit to enter relationships and "explore" anymore, because I don't want anyone to be subjected to all of this in any way. At the same time, how am I supposed to actually figure out this shit? Then again, someone once told me "Why are you trying to find a label? Just do whatever feels right, have sex with whomever you want, and stop worrying about nonexistent problems". I do think they're right, but for some reason I need to know lol.

No. 361685

I am sexually attracted to irl women exclusively, I have trauma with hetero sex and women just are the only ones who get me going irl. But I discovered this one fetish cuntboy and that gets me going even though it’s a canonically male character, male body, but just with a vagina and not penis. Obviously, this is all fiction, I’ve never dated a FTM who looks like this or even seen one, but am I bi if I’m attracted to men on the condition they don’t have male genitals

No. 361698

I'm questioning, not my orientation but my sanity. I'm straighter than average and frequently horny but I'm not attracted to any living adult human men. I'm looking for something else and I don't know what. I'm only into photographs of body parts and I've never been "in love" with a human person before. It's like I have all this pent up energy and no outlet. Everyone is ugly to me. Nothing satisfies me. There is no porn of anything I like. Male bodies IRL are hideously misshapen and need to be photoshopped to appeal to me. I can't just move on with life because im HORNY but for nothing in particular. Just Lust for life. I'm not attracted to Animu bishies either. Only edited reality no one can capture well enough. Whenever I say this people act like I'm gay but I'm literally not. I'm attracted to "men" beyond deformation and nothing else. None of my fantasies involve people with faces. And they don't have solid forms it's all a mess. For example imagine an attractive leg: I don't like how that one looks from the side so I imagine an entirely different leg on someone that's only visible from the side. Like all sides of a man are edited to be optimum angles. His face changes depending on where I stand. Should I just starting making and fucking dolls or what. Four dimensional niggas hit me up

No. 361705

>>361659
Ah… thank you for your reply. I think you might be right, it’s probably most likely that I’m bisexual with a stupidly specific attraction to extreme androgyny. I guess I’m just mad about it, and I wish I wasn’t like this. It really makes me depressed. Specifically because I really want to have someone to give my love to, but my taste is so specific that there have only ever been like two people I’ve ever been attracted to in my life (24 y/o). And the prospects look grim:
>find an extremely androgynous person (rare to begin with)
>they are not begendered (even rarer)
>they like me back (impossible mode)

I desperately wish I was just born with a normal sexuality like everyone else. I used to think I could be single for life and not care, but as I get older, I’ve gotten painfully lonely with a burning desire for a partner. It’s hard to find motivation to live knowing I’ll probably never even kiss anyone. I’m considering retreating completely into a fantasy world where I date my celebrity crush to cope, but I can’t take the plunge because I think I’d get too into it and it would consume me. Well, sorry to ramble. I still will hope that one day I’ll wake up and be normal.

No. 361715

>>361685
If you don't like male genitals, you're not bi. Cuntboys don't exist and their IRL equivalent (FTM/TiF) are still biologically women. You might just be a lesbian with a weird fictional kink tbh.

No. 361716

>>361659
>>361705
Maybe you two are just into twinks and not normal dudes kek it honestly doesn't sound like you're into regular women from what has been described. The fool proof way of knowing is by getting with another woman, but otherwise you can try to imagine yourself in that situation—would you eat another woman out or not?

No. 361721

>>361716
>it honestly doesn't sound like you're into regular women from what has been described
Wow… it’s almost like that’s exactly what I was talking about from my very first post! Excellent reading comprehension.

>you’re just into twinks

I see like 20 twinks a day between real life and the internet, if I was “just into twinks” I would not be saying that I’ve only ever been attracted to 2 people. Twinks are too young looking for me, amidst other issues.

Basically, I’m so incredibly tired of certain anons jumping into this thread specifically to make sure any anons confused about their attraction to women “don’t think they’re ACTUALLY into WOMEN, right?” “Have you EATEN PUSSY?” (Author’s note: in my second post I specifically mentioned having a thing for vulvas with big clits) “You’re probably just into dudes so don’t go around thinking you’re bisexual!”
I understand your knee jerk reaction and why you have it, but it does at times impede your ability to fully read and process posts before responding.

No. 361810

>>361705
>>361721
nta, guess you're just into extreme androgyny. I get it though, I'm kinda like that although a bit less extreme, I've been attracted to only a handful of people irl, and I doubt I'll ever have a relationship due to social ineptitude among other things.

Sometimes I'm really jealous of TIFs who date each other, whether they're prison gay larping animu boys or actually SSA, because many of them are my type, minus the gender retardation. I guess it has to do with some kind of narcissistic desire to be with someone who resembles me in both body and personality (I never trooned out but I was the kind of awkward nerdy girl who often become TIFs, and also I'm naturally very tomboyish). Could never date an actual TIF though, the delusion is too strong.

No. 361855

>>361716
I'm the first anon whose post you quoted and I am definitely into women kek, what makes you think I'm not? Just because I'm not into feminine women? Granted, I was a serial-TIF dater when I was in high school but they're still female. After that I realized athletic butch women are usually better adjusted and are just as attractive to me. Don't get me wrong, twinks are nice too but it's hard to find non coomer ones nowadays.

No. 361882

>>361855
It just seems that you're very attracted to masculine traits in general, which can also be true for many straight women. Maybe it's just a preference, but I imagine that true attraction to women goes beyond having a preference—not that wlw (sorry for the acronym but it's easier to type out) can't have preferences, but there needs to be a general attraction to women/the vulva. Maybe this is true for you and I'm just extrapolating too hard.
>>361721
Going to reiterate my point
>there needs to be a general attraction to women/the vulva
You can have a strong preference for a certain look, but that can't lead to an eschewing of the entire sex outside of that look, especially when it's a very specific and unique form like yours (i.e. extreme androgyny)
>it’s almost like that’s exactly what I was talking about from my very first post
You need to be into regular women to be a wlw.

No. 361892

>>361882
Second anon you replied to, can we take a step back to the beginning? because I still feel like you are creating a strawman (for what reason, I do not know) and not really reading my original posts. For example, I explicitly said in my posts that my whole problem is that I’m not attracted to regular men OR regular women, and elaborated on that quite a lot, yet you choose to only focus only on the “regular women” part and then say that means I’m into men. My entire damn point was I don’t seem to be into EITHER. So if
>You need to be into regular women to be a wlw.
Ok. Let’s say that’s true. So then it would also hold true that
>You need to be into regular men to be wlm
So if I’m into neither normal men or normal women, then what am I?
If liking physically masculine women doesn’t count as liking women, then liking physically feminine men doesn’t count as liking men. Curiously though you say liking twinks (one form of feminine man) would make someone straight? (Again… not into twinks, but that was your argument). Your own internal logic doesn’t even line up.

No. 361946

>>361892
It's not a strawman; you asked about (paraphrasing) what was wrong with you and you are being given an answer (that in reality is meaningless because no one can tell you "what is wrong with you" but yourself). Also you have added points that weren't present in your original post that I am referencing, so apologies if I'm not covering them all.
>I’m not attracted to regular men OR regular women
I have read this much, and I already explained that to be a wlw you need to feel attraction to regular women. I assumed you are straight like most women are, and especially questioning women, so that's the basal point we're starting from. Your tendency towards masculine traits also says as much. This goes back to one of my other points about being comfortable in an intimate setting with a man or a woman—if you truly don't know what you're interested in, this is one of the only ways of finding out. At the end of the day, that's what sexuality is all about. The reality is that your "preference" is highly unusual (i.e. weird troon archetypes), and in any average adult it would be considered a fetish before true sexuality, TBH. If you're very young/adolescent (which I am inclined to believe) I can only hazard a guess that it's a mixture of hormones and consumption of certain media that is affecting what you find attractive.

Unrelated to the main convo but just points I wanted to highlight
>If liking physically masculine women doesn’t count as liking women
If you already knew that you liked women then this just be a preference for more masculine/butch women.
>Curiously though you say liking twinks (one form of feminine man) would make someone straight?
If you are presumably straight, then yeah, it still makes you straight (with a preference for "effeminate" men) because twinks are men.

No. 361948

>>361882
This is really dumb logic and it's implying the kind of women I find attractive are somehow less female. For what, not shaving and having a lean or strong build? Having androgynous features? Even when you get down to genitals, larger clits are still female genitals. This just sounds like the same gendie Tumblr logic that makes people think they need to troon out. The other nona brought this up too but I have very strict preferences when it comes to men as well, it's actually much harder for me to find one who is personally attractive and I think male genitals are gross. They need to be meticulously groomed and I think large penises are grotesque. Does that mean I'm not attracted to the male sex even though I still find certain males attractive? What label do I get then? These are just rhetorical questions to illustrate my point though. Sometimes I feel like a freak for my taste. My friends like to make fun of it and I've been accused of having hormone problems (I don't) but ultimately I'm comfortable in my bisexuality and have experience with both sexes enough to say that.
I'm just picky and I think the other anon >>361892
may be similar. Like you said, it's hard to find a very androgynous person who isn't genderspecial nowadays but I promise not all of them are deep in the delusion. I met an extremely androgynous-looking drummer a at a show a while ago and I legitimately thought he was a woman until he spoke. I talked to him for a while too– I asked politely and there was no gender identity stuff going on. He wasn't wearing makeup or women's clothes or anything, he was just a guy who was naturally extremely feminine looking and had long hair because he was a musician. Dude was like 27 too, it was a little shocking. It's much easier to find androgynous women though. You'd be surprised at how many just go along with gender stuff just to not raise hackles on social media but have secretly gender critical views. Just be careful. Living in a large, non-religious city definitely helps. Anyways, I'm rambling now but I wish you luck. Instead of ruminating on labels, it might be better to just go out and talk and flirt with people(might be hard since you said only two people have been attractive to you but two is more hopeful than zero!) Or try fantasizing about different things and see what fantasies you come back to. Hell, write your fantasies out in a word doc or something to get a better picture of what you want and delete the ones you don't like.

No. 361949

>>361948
Samefag but I apologize for the unformatted wall of text, I usually don't make long posts

No. 361951

>>361946
Your logic still makes no sense in the spoilered response. I’d try to go over why it makes no sense again, but I think I was pretty clear the first time, so I don’t really think it’s worth it. Seems like >>361948 gets it though.
Lastly, you clearly have an idea of me in your head that you are convinced about, and assume other random things about me based on it, such as:
>you are a young adolescent
incorrect, I’m almost 30.
>your media consumption created this fetish in you
incorrect, I’m actually a weirdo who only listens to news radio and watches documentaries like a boomer
>you must like twinks!
Incorrect, but I already covered that.
>You have a tendency towards masculine traits
See the (non-comprehensive, I’ll add) list in my original post >>361652 which is a mix of male and female traits, so again this is just a failure of your reading comprehension, or willful ignoring of things that don fit your strawman/stereotype of me you’ve constructed in your head.

Honestly all of the above has been extremely retarded and I’m actually embarrassed now to be seriously engaging with it, so I’m going to stop now.

No. 361961

>I have read this much, and I already explained that to be a wlw you need to feel attraction to regular women.

Masculine women are "regular women" too and female. So if she is attracted to them she is a lesbian or bi.
A lot of wlw prefer unconventional or non conforming women and not "regular women" aka the plastic dolls that media shills as attractive.

No. 361992

>>361961
Not going to respond to every point as this is going in circles. If you're nearly 30 you need to start putting yourself out there to see what you like, and frankly at nearly 30-years-old, saying something like
>If I don’t like boobs so I can’t be gay, but I don’t like facial hair/stubble or male stomachs so I can’t be straight
is pretty juvenile, and uninformed at best, which has lead to this whole conversation. I'm not sure if you're struggling to articulate your feelings regarding men/women, but a strict attraction to androgynes is very unusual. If you're trying to imply that you're a wlw, then you haven't done a good job, given these contradictions. You've already said you're not into regular women >>361892, so I can not assume you are a wlw. You've already implied you have no experience with women and no interest in "regular" women. And I am not strawmanning anything, but your overly abrasive attitude toward simple skepticism based on information which you had initially provided yourself (i.e. "I'm not into boobs so I can't be gay") is definitely making me less receptive to you. You came to this thread looking for advice on real life concerns, so you ought to realize that we—as individuals who do not know you—are going to make assumptions to fill in the gaps on what we do not know about a stranger.
>>361961
No she's not, referring to this post >>361618
>I don’t like boobs so I can’t be gay
And this one >>361652
The "masculine women" thing keeps coming up and I think the issue is that it hasn't been defined. There is a difference between a "masculine" woman and an androgyne/TIF—they are emphatically not the same. The whole reason for my initial skepticism was that the original anon already stated they weren't "gay" (presuming no homosexual inclinations), so why should I assume that she likes women at all?

No. 361995

>>361992
samefag but also "regular women" doesn't refer to a specific look, and certainly not "plastic dolls"—it was (admittedly) poor wording to refer to the average woman you'd see walking down the street (she probably has boobs and hips). Even the masculine ones will have boobs and hips. Most women do.

No. 362013

>>361992
I’m the anon you’ve been talking to, and I just want to say >>361961 is not me, so great job continuing to confidently assume shit about me. Like I already said, you are continuing to not read my original posts, since, just for example, you say
>regular women have hips you know!
When I EXPLICITLY said I LIKED female hips in >>361652. do you have reading comprehension issues, genuinely? Or are just incapable of absorbing information that runs contrary to your theory?
You coming at me like I’m some straight weasel trying to infiltrate bi and lesbian communities or something is bizarre and speaks to your own personal hang ups since I never claimed to belong to those groups. Like wtf?
>If you're trying to imply that you're a wlw, then you haven't done a good job, given these contradictions.
FUCKING DUH. Oh my god. I never was, and the contradictions were the point, all I was ever saying from the start is what you say here
>a strict attraction to androgynes is very unusual.
Yes, it is, and I know it! Hence my posts! Holy crap. Talk about missing the point.
And calling me juvenile for having an uncommon sexuality and speaking about it casually on a Mongolian basket weaving form… ok. Wow. I’m gonna have to say right back at you, frankly.

Anyway, above all I wanted to defend my honor against samefagging accusations, the most important thing, kek.(calm down)

No. 362044

>>362013
I quoted the wrong post in >>361992, I originally meant >>361951 (the second quote was intentional tho)
In any case, I'm not reading everything you've written. If you're going to start typing in all caps that's a sign that you need to take a breather (and, I'm gonna say it again, it seems pretty juvenile).
>And calling me juvenile for having an uncommon sexuality
No, juvenile because you obviously have no clue how sexuality works, assuming that women are only wlw because they like boobs, or they are straight because they like "male stomachs" and facial hair or whatever. For all the rabbling that you've done about my reading comprehension, yours seems to be lacking quite a bit. In any case, you've already stated that you're not gay so you're not a wlw. I'm not going to validate you on something you've already denied, if that's what is making you so upset. You don't get some grand trophy for being a wlw in real life, outside of lc. At the end of the day no one on here can diagnose whatever weird attractions you have going on, so go experiment with other people (like I've said several times), if you are really so interested in knowing your sexuality.

No. 362052

>>362044
I am at a loss for words. You truly are something. Still didn’t address anything I said, still making things up about me, but I guess that’s to be expected from your very strange responses every time previously— I’m the fool for expecting the third time to be the charm. Clearly you’re blindly determined about whatever it is you’re theorizing. Just odd all around.

Thanks to all the other anons who were normal in their responses, kek. I appreciate you, I just got too distracted by this weirdo to say it before.

No. 362069

>>339875
I think you got it spot on. Thank you nona.

No. 362405

I think I’m a straight woman, but I’m confused. I can’t tell what my thoughts on women are. I tend to pursue men. I dated girls just to make sure I was to try things out but I can’t tell if maybe they weren’t my type or something, and I have thoughts about marrying women. To make matters worse I am slowly but surely starting to hate men and their complete disrespect for me. I used to think I wasn’t romantic since growing up I was a total weirdo who didn’t feel crushes aside from fictional characters with one notable example, but looking back it wasn’t romantic attraction, I was looking for a friend due to being lonely.


I can’t tell if I just need to find the fucking unicorn of a man that respects me or…. I don’t know. I just don’t know?

No. 362473

This isn’t to any woman in particular here, but it’s okay to be a lesbian attracted to masculinity or androgyny. A lot of you seem to assume that because you’re attracted to traditionally masculine traits in women that you’re not a “true” lesbian/bisexual, but plenty of women are gnc and don’t always dress in traditionally feminine ways, but they’re still women.

No. 362475

>>362013
Why was this banned, but not >>361992 who multiple anons were disagreeing with? So people can post 5 paragraphs of retarded shit but rebutting it gets you a ban? Not to mention this thread is specifically for discussing the minutiae of sexuality, there will be disagreements but it’s the nature of the thread.

No. 362513

>>362405
despite the way people talk about comphet, sexual and romantic interest in women is not some secret element of yourself that you need to coax out. if the interest isn't there, then it isn't there, and it sounds like you've done some exploring and a lot of introspection and it's still just never there for you. it sounds like you don't have a history of crushing on women or fantasizing about them, and dating women didn't make you feel like you were attracted to them, so you're in a position in life where you've never had actual interest in a woman but you're still wondering if you're into them because men are pigs and you want an alternative, am I right about that? if so, then I'd just say that your sexual orientation is an inherent part of you that isn't influenced by knowledge about the world like "men are sexist and often treat women badly". that said, what's the notable exception you had a crush on?

No. 362517

>>362513
He was a boy at school the notable example. Aside from that just cartoon characters kek.

You’re not right about the seeking alternative part though, just more of a general wonder. I think that I need to properly date more men to make up my mind honestly. I appreciate your input nona

No. 362520

>>362517
I totally feel you on the crush thing and that's literally why I wanted to respond. I honestly feel like a lot of women who are confused about their sexual orientation just haven't met enough cool people who click with them to date someone and really mean it. none of my 'crushes' before college were ever more than a bit of slight interest that I entertained out of boredom because I grew up in a shitty small town and everyone around me was mid. wishing you the male or female unicorn of your dreams nona

No. 362528

File: 1701637811555.jpg (119.94 KB, 550x504, Ronery.jpg)

How do I know if my attraction to women is genuine without having to sleep with one? I don't know if I'm legit autistic or something but I have never crushed on anyone real of any sex, be it irl or celebrities. I like yuri and I like some lesbian porn and sometimes women really turn me on but I still wonder if it's legit attraction and not porn brainrot or maybe trying to force an attraction that's not there. How do I know?

No. 362529

>>362528
You don't feel a strong attachment to people and their genitals so you're pretty much asexual or very low level sexual (either straight or gay but with a quasi-zero libido)

No. 362530

>>362529
>You don't feel a strong attachment to people
This is true.
>and their genitals
I have no idea what this means. People get attached to genitals? What?
>so you're pretty much asexual or very low level sexual (either straight or gay but with a quasi-zero libido)
I'm not asexual, every day I think about sex and masturbate.

No. 362532

I’ve only been attracted to one woman in my life (that I couldn’t be with, even though I wanted her so bad) and I’m not interested in any other women. I wonder sometimes if it was some sort of fluke or glitch in the matrix. I refuse to date men, so I keep looking at other women and try to picture myself with them, but it’s forced, I just am not attracted to them at all; I don’t want to do any of the things I pictured with her with them. Oh well.
I will wait my entire life in hopes that someday I will get to experience that wonderful fluke again with another special woman. And maybe if I’m extra lucky, she will like me too. It’s a pipe dream, but I think I need to dream in order to survive.

No. 362535

>>362528
>>362530
ntayrt but if you're always thinking about sex with women, what is making you wonder if it's not genuine attraction? the lack of experience? if you're not already dating someone and you've never crushed on anyone but also never slept with a woman, it sounds a bit to me like you're kinda young and dating women would be good for you. I'm gonna repeat the theory I just posted like two posts ago where some women (esp very online nerds like you and I) don't have many crushes at a young age because they just don't go outside enough or live in the right place to encounter people worth having a crush on

No. 362542

>>362535
>what is making you wonder if it's not genuine attraction?
Well one thing is growing up in male Internet spaces where women are depicted and talked of almost exclusively sexually. The other is the early contact with pornography and yuri at 13yo. Maybe these experiences affected me and made me think I'm more attracted to women than I really am? Like you see lesbian fujos saying they can be fujos and still lesbians, then I think maybe even though I only consume yuri I'm also not attracted to the real deal? Honestly it's pretty hard to tell.
>I'm gonna repeat the theory I just posted like two posts ago where some women (esp very online nerds like you and I) don't have many crushes at a young age because they just don't go outside enough or live in the right place to encounter people worth having a crush on
This makes sense. I suppose I just need to meet more people and see if I become attracted to someone.

No. 362557

>>362542
I get the thing with early porn exposure and the male gaze and stuff, but if you're actually masturbating to this stuff… I don't know, it feels like feeling your stomach drop and heart throb when consuming f/f media and especially f/f porn is totally different from straight girls being able to recognize that Jenna Ortega is beautiful because they're tapped into how the male perspective assesses women. that said, you're so right about the lesbian fujo thing being confusing as hell. when I was in middle school, I TRIED to gaf about yaoi and shipping because so many girls were obsessed with it online, and I just could not, but yuri comics definitely had an actual effect on me that made me a little scared. I am into stuff like brokeback mountain simply as an lgbt story that is meaningful to me, so I could maybe understand if lesbian fujos are very confident about their interest in pussy irl and approach yaoi like that ig. but also like… girl, you should start dating women because everything about anime is unrealistic, but also pales in comparison to real life.

No. 362606

>>362528
>>362542
Cringey question but do you have crushes on fictional characters? I used to be in the same boat as you minus liking lesbian porn and I had crushes on female characters, but I wrote it off that it "didn't count" because it was fictional and I'm inexperienced. It turned out I was a shut-in with low self-esteem (I liked yuri ships because I thought I was too ugly to imagine myself having sex) and after going out more, I found a woman IRL that I had a full blown crush and attraction to. I think you need to just expose yourself to more people IRL, I don't care for celebs because they're too conventionally attractive but I lost a lot of interest in yuri when I discovered my type of women IRL.

No. 362662

>>362606
>do you have crushes on fictional characters?
Maybe? I certainly feel sexually attracted to many anime girls, but I can't say the same of IRL women.
>I think you need to just expose yourself to more people IRL
I see many people agreeing with this so I guess I must overcome this anime brainrot and interact with real people…
>but I lost a lot of interest in yuri when I discovered my type of women IRL.
That's interesting. Hope it doesn't happen to me though, yuri makes me feel less lonely.

No. 363189

>>362530
I'm bisexual, I get attached to genitals personally. Obviously people get attached to genitals, otherwise there wouldn't be so many conversations about dick size or boob appearance preferences

No. 363695

sage for unhinged rant but i didn't know where else this should go. sometimes it feels as though the threshold for female SSA is very strict on here. gay moids obsess over female celebrities and call them hot and idolise beyonce and Taylor or whoever the fuck and no one doubts their sexuality. straight moids pull out the "i'm not gay, but [xyz buff male celebrity]…" card and jerk off to trans porn due to porn addiction and no one doubts their sexuality. gay moids come out after decades of being married to a woman and no one insists they're not gay. people also accept that straight girls may kiss their best friends or watch lesbian porn. in fact a lot of anons ridicule girls who do the typical "oooh women are so pretty, I kiss them when I'm drunk, i'd date/sleep with them but would never marry one" thing, not believing that having sex with or dating women means you definitely aren't straight.
but i see anons on here say if you like yaoi or are really into a boy band or whatever you can't be lesbian. i really wonder where that comes from. do we believe that male attraction is innate in all women, part of womanhood, or do we just hold lesbianism to a stricter standard than heterosexuality or male homosexuality?
>>362528 if anon's post was about thinking she might like men because she likes yaoi and crushes on male characters i think people would accept it at face value and say she is OSA. but I also think it's fair to assume that there are women out there who have suffered from early porn exposure, who think they're attracted to men but are not. i'd like to hear you alls thoughts.

No. 365970

I'm not sure what I like. I mean I kinda know I feel sexual attraction to males cuz dicks make me feel funny down there but on the other hand watching women having sex sensually also turns me on BUT solo pics of women/vaginas don't do much for me. I usually masturbate to hetero or futa porn, visually or using my imagination. Does this sound like I could be bi?

No. 365971

>>363695
Enjoying sex with women usually means you aren't straight though… moids jerking off to trans porn is bi to one degree or another if the dick is part of the attraction.

No. 365975

>>363189
who told you boobs are genitals kek.
>>362529
>>362530
people can get attached to genitals but not doing so doesn’t make you asexual. most bi people I know (and honestly most straight girls but it could just be my friends) aren’t particularly attracted to genitals and find them gross unless they’re attracted to someone - in which case they’re neutral.

some people just don’t get crushes easily, or ever I guess. but crushes =/= sexual attraction. i’m still attracted to people when I don’t have a crush.

No. 365977

>>365975
>most bi people I know aren’t particularly attracted to genitals and find them gross unless they’re attracted to someone - in which case they’re neutral.
??????????????????? anon that is not true…

No. 365980

>>365975
I think that applies to everyone, not just bi people. I mean just bc someone is a woman/man/whatever, that's not enough to want to fuck them.

No. 365982

>>365977
uh, yes it is. I said bi people I know. Which to be fair includes some gendies, but I also was not attracted to genitals until very recently. (and that was triggered by a very intense crush making me gayer about literally anything female. Still not attracted to dicks, just certain dudes as a whole.)
>>365980
yeah, that’s what I’d think too.

No. 365985

>>365975
Could I ask you to share how you found this website? I’m just trying to understand where all the underage people came from recently.

No. 365986

>>365985
not sure what I said that made you think this (genuinely curious please tell me) but I am 18 so technically kind of close kek. still not underage though.

No. 366064

>>365986
>genuinely curious please tell me
The way you talk about genitals and sexuality is a dead giveaway you're very young. I would green-text specifically what you said but it was pretty much everything. You could have said one of the opinions or thoughts expressed here and not be young, but altogether it seemed to me like it could only be from the mind of a teenager. No offense, just stating a fact.
I answered your question now please answer mine. What brought you to lolcow / how'd you find it?

No. 366067

>>366064
how would a non-teenager talk about it? I just explained that most people I know are attracted to people, not specifically their genitals. also, one of the anons I was replying to basically sounded like she was saying if you don’t get crushes, you’re asexual.

I found lolcow a couple years ago from the egirl snow threads, I was googling drama. didn’t know it was a female only misandrist(?) community until a couple months ago which is when I started becoming active on here.

No. 366078

>>366067
nayrt but the "attracted to people, not genitals" shows a fake-nuanced AND a very gendie zoomer line of thought in the implication that genitals/sex isn't a factor at all in attraction. yeah of course normal people arent attracted to just some genitals (that are implied to be disconnected from the person, no less), because that's not… how that works. some people have preferred body types/measurements/etc in their ideal partners but to call that "attracted to genitals" is… idk, odd. its an overly clinical attempt at dissecting and almost pathologizing regular human behavior, like much of the current online zoomer/gendie-filled spaces. but biological sex is like the lowest bar to determine whether we are/can be attracted to anyone in the first place. that anon who replied to you diagnosing you with asexual also sounds pretty young and deeper entrenched in the gendie logic

No. 366082

>>366067
>how would a non-teenager talk about it?
No idea lol. They just wouldn't talk about it like you did. I was drunk 12 hours ago I don't usually question posters age over what they say I was just curious, sorry for derailing with this. Welcome to lolcow!! Congrats on being a legal adult. Don't go on any creepy moid sites and chat with them it's too obvious you're young someone will target you.

No. 366098

>>366078
I’m not the anon they were diagnosing, but I get your point. still, I don’t think it’s overly clinical. people are attracted to biological sexes but most don’t see someone’s penis or vulva and are like, oh wow that’s so hot. most people would be more attracted to the whole person, if that makes sense? of course genitals are a factor (because gender is), but anon was just saying that they’re not sexually
attracted to genitals. not rare at all. obviously if you can still be turned on by other things that wouldn’t make you ‘asexual’.
>>366082
ouch. really? I kind of thought I came across as more mature online. most people i talk to on the internet have assumed I was anything up to 40s, no one’s ever assumed i was a teenager, so this is a first.

No. 366104

>>366098
>most people would be more attracted to the whole person, if that makes sense?
yeah it makes sense bc that's literally the point i was making in how weird and emphasized the wording "attracted to genitals" is. you really are young and it shows, at least on this topic

No. 366118

>>366104
lol what else are you meant to call being attracted to a certain body part. I don’t think if I was more mature i’d call it anything different. I’m probably just autistic and don’t understand how it sounds weird. the anons who were discussing this first described it as being “attached to genitals” which sounds weirder to me but hey.

No. 366278

>>365970
You just sound pornsick, honestly. Watching porn of other people having sex isn't the same as sex, it's just voyeuristic imagery and it's a borderline trope for people (men and women, IME) who watch porn to "try out" different kinds when their go-to gets boring. Especially when you look at fetishes like futa, but a normal photo of a vagina does nothing for you, it doesn't sound bisexual to me.

No. 366283

>>366098
>ouch. really?
It's not a bad thing to sound your age. Don't waste time trying to sound more mature than you are –you should strive to become a mature person eventually but that comes with time and experience and self reflection, you can't force it or fake it. Lowkey the way you want to give advice while clearly lacking experience is part of why you came across as underage, it's a very immature impulse.

No. 366467

Is it common to feel attracted only to fictional characters and having unattainable crushes at people like streamers, but not having any romantic nor sexual feeling towards people in my life? Is it maybe an aromantic/asexual thing or is it just I haven't met the right person yet?
I have been in romantic relationships before and I struggle a lot because I just don't feel the same, ever, I just feel I can't fall in love or do all the mellow stuff, and mostly tolerate sex but it never feels that good either, to the point I just prefer being alone

No. 366473

>>366467
yeah its not unusual. sometimes the people around you are fugly and/or not your type. it's good that you're choosing to respect yourself and not date or have sex with anyone you're not into. worry about being asexual when you hit your 30s and still have this issue, for now go do your homework

No. 366475

>>366467
>Is it maybe an aromantic/asexual thing
Where did you kids come from. No, attraction towards unattainable people is still sexual attraction

No. 366500

>>366467
I think it can be. I'm not on the ace spectrum (anymore?), but I didn't start feeling much sexual attraction for other people until I was in my late teens, so I can kinda remember what it was like. Back then I would obsess over pretty rockstars from bands I liked, I had a few crushes on guys but it was more of an aesthetic thing and not lust-driven. I did have sexual feelings and would masturbate, but I had zero physical desire for other people and hated physical contact of any kind. One day this changed and I've been a normie ever since.

No. 366502

>>366473
>worry about being asexual when you hit your 30s and still have this issue
Nta but I'm turning 31 in a month and I still have this "issue", only attracted to fictional characters, not even celebrities, and I have zero crush irl. I don't consider myself asexual because I have a libido (as low as it is), and I'm volcel/childfree so it's not like it's a real problem for me. Should I still go seek therapy or something?

No. 366503

>>366502
I think it's normal for women who are attracted to men to only be into celebrities/fictional characters because the majority of males put zero effort into their looks and they're not at all sexually appealing. They think money alone is enough to attract a woman.

No. 366504

>>366500
>ace spectrum
I feel like I'm losing braincells in this thread. That's the thing where people call themselves "asexual" despite having an obvious sex drive and enjoying all sorts of sexual content just because they haven't actually done it irl isn't it? You're either horny or you're not, specific horniness is still horny.

No. 366505

>>366504
Ayrt. I know ace is a meme by this point. What I’m trying to say is I don’t think all people feel very strong sexual desire towards others. I’m straight, which means I feel sexual attraction towards moids and the thought of being sexual with women is a little ick to me. To some people both options are a turn-off. When I was younger I didn't feel sexual attraction towards anyone, but I would still masturbate from a very young age because it felt fun and was pleasurable. I had no sex drive towards people until my late teens. Nowadays I have a very strong sex drive towards people, so the difference is noticeable to me.

No. 366530

>>366467
>Is it common to feel attracted only to fictional characters and having unattainable crushes at people like streamers, but not having any romantic nor sexual feeling towards people in my life?
>Is it maybe an aromantic/asexual thing or is it just I haven't met the right person yet?
I was in this boat (except I was never into streamers) for most of my life and it turned out I was just super traumatized and kind of a shut-in. Attraction to unobtainable people is attraction, but in my experience it's a result of a lot of baggage. I'm honestly skeptical of if "aromantic/asexual" is real (I feel like it's usually a trauma response or medical issue) but if you're imagining yourself dating characters or enjoy sexual content of them like I did, that's romantic/sexual attraction, period. Whenever I see people claim to be asexual but like fanfic smut or "comphet lesbians" who like celebrity/non-anime styled fictional men, that's what I always think. You do feel attraction sexually or to men, but you're only comfortable with it in "safe" ways.

I am capable of attraction to people IRL, but it makes me feel like crap and my few IRL crushes were miserable experiences because I felt like I wasn't good enough for them or they wouldn't feel the same. I had a phase where I thought I was "aromantic but not asexual" (I'm aware of how pretentious that sounds) because I thought stereotypical romance was cheesy but still have a libido, until I realized how I only had the textbook "falling in love" feelings with a fictional characters. So it turned out I am capable of romantic feelings, but I don't really care about dating/settling down and find those feeling more "free" and enjoyable if it's with someone unobtainable.

No. 366535

>>366505
Gorl… why are you using examples of how you felt when you were a kid to draw conclusions about adults sexual feelings (or lack thereof)? Oh, you were a literal child once so you kinda know what it's like to be asexual??? lmao get out lol please stop you have serious know-it-all syndrome, you are not the sexuality guru you think you are

No. 366538

>>366535
I don't think it counts as being a kid when you are in your late teens but ok. I'm using it as an example because it's the only way for me to relate to people when they say they are asexual. The way I see it some people never developed much of an attraction towards others and I can remember what that was like, idk why that is controversial. That said, I think the asexual label is sort of a meaningless catch-all term. Like >>366530 said it also encompasses people with sexual trauma or who have low libido for medical reasons and so on. I don't have a problem with people using the label if they find it personally helpful, the only time I find them annoying are the ones who try to claim oppression points. I think demisexual is a much more retarded label.

>you are not the sexuality guru you think you are

You're projecting, this is the only time I've posted itt

No. 366541

>>366538
>The way I see it some people never developed much of an attraction towards others and I can remember what that was like
That's what I mean, you're doing it again. That's just being a kid, it's irrelevant. It doesn't matter how you felt while you finished puberty no one was asking about that. You were never on the ace spectrum you were just too young to want to fuck people. The woman you replied to is feeling this way at 31 you are not the same.

No. 366542

>>366541
Nonacita, you're being obstinate. I'm not claiming to know what it's like having these feelings as a 31 y/o. I can see that I've rustled some feathers trespassing on a thread which was not for me, so I'll leave the ones still questioning alone.

No. 366545

>>366502
If you're straight I think that's just being rational.

No. 366547

>>366541
Ntayrt, but I’ve been watching this thread roll by on the front page of /g/ the last couple of days and you have been so needlessly aggressive and condescending to multiple anons itt. I didn’t say anything before but you seem to be making a habit of it. If you aren’t the same anon, that’s my bad, but then that means there’s two of you who need to cool it. Really unpleasant interaction style.

No. 366551

>>366545
Ayrt and I'm bi, I just have no idea on how to meet SSA women and I think I forbid myself to crush on straight women.

No. 366559

>>366551
TBF, I'm a lesbian and I had a phase for 90% of my life where I was only attracted to fictional female characters because I didn't want to crush on straight girls and didn't know les/bi women IRL. I find women IRL more attractive but I tend to feel like crap being attracted to them, but there's more "freedom" with characters or OCs I made of my type. So I think it's rational self awareness that real men aren't worth it and internalized homo/biphobia.

No. 366566

>>366547
nta but i think it's understandable considering the influx of outsiders and underage posters lately. there's way too many special sexuality anons popping up all over the site (not just this thread). i still think you can't be 'asexual' while wanting to masturbate kek

No. 366573

>>366566
nta I think you are arguing semantics. a person can enjoy sexual stimulus divorced from sexual fantasies or physical attraction, it's a bodily function. now a question. if someone opposite sex attracted is heterosexual and someone same sex attracted is homosexual, what do you call a person that is attracted to neither? maybe asexual is not the best term, but I hope you can see that it's following a linguistic pattern.

No. 366878

>>366530
Omg I'm the original anon who asked that. Honestly I think this sums it up the best and is the answer I was looking for. It's true at least in my experience my previous relationships weren't that great because I always felt most men had other intentions that didn't felt entirely genuine. In general dating became a very stressful thing to me, often being perceived as someone 'cold' or 'uninterested' but I couldn't be any other way because I just don't trust men enough because of several bad experiences where they have disappointed me.
With people like streamers I've been watching for years it feels like there's some kind of connection and there is no harm, I feel safe and I can fantasize about them without the stressful part.

On another note- it does make me feel a little bad though, I'm on my early twenties and dislike most men even though I'm straight, when I get to know them better I just discover worse things about them, their past or their personality.

No. 367237

I don't even know if I'm febfem anymore. I don't think I can ever be in a relationship with a man. Even as a child the idea of dating or marrying a male was upsetting to me. I don't like dick. Anything to do with blowjobs, penetration etc sickens me. Men are handsome sometimes but that's about it. The idea of dating a man let alone living the rest of my life with one makes me want to tear my own skin off. Right now my male coworker has a crush on me and I feel so uncomfortable. It's a confidence booster to know he thinks I'm pretty, but I feel revolted when he puts his hand on my back or stares into my eyes. I don't know if this is normal febfem stuff or if I'm actually just lesbian.

No. 367239

>>367237
Sounds like febfem to the extreme (I'm one as well), you're not attracted to the guy so it's normal that you're repulsed by the fact that he's into you. If you were a lesbian men would not even register on your radar imo.

No. 367243

>>367239
Thanks for replying. What do you mean by register on my radar? I'm ESL, sorry.
Yeah, I feel confused. In high school my best friend was boy crazy, she'd always point out actors and fictional men and say "Isn't he so hot?" etc. I did find them good looking but unlike her I never had fantasies, even imagining kissing them felt wrong and uncomfortable.
Maybe I am an extreme febfem. I don't feel that bisexual fits for me though. Surely if you're bi you'd have been interested in dating a boy at some point right? But ever since I was a child it felt wrong. The idea of a man fantasizing about ME is also disgusting.

No. 367245

>>367243
I think you might be a lesbian anon

No. 367258

>>367245
Yeah, I agree. I know febfems who are attracted to men/like dick/have fantasises, but solely keep them fantasies or stick to fictional men instead of dating them. If you don't even fantasize about "good men" you made up that doesn't sound like bisexual (attraction to both sexes) at all.

No. 367262

>>367237
>>367243
As a febfem you don't sound febfem, nona. Sorry.
I prefer women 90% of the time and never want a man to touch me sexually, it's an active turn off, so I'm pretty far into being febfem. But I still have SOME male-centered fantasies sometimes. They involve serial-killer-tier shit but they are fantasies nonetheless.
Just acknowledging men can look okay doesn't mean you want to engage with them.

No. 367280

>>367245
>>367258
>>367262
AYRT, thanks everyone. This is what I'm a little unsure of: I enjoy gay, lesbian and straight romance novels, and I get butterflies reading all three. I'm also a writer and I enjoy writing all pairings, same sex or otherwise (although admittedly the lesbian ones hit close to my heart). I like boy bands and I've even gone to see movies because my favorite actor was in it and he is handsome. One of my favorite books ever is a romance novel between a female and male character as well. Still, actor, band member or male character, I've never wanted to kiss any of them.
On the other hand, I have had fantasies about male characters, but now that I look back they're all platonic. When I was little I'd daydream about a male character taking care of me like a fatherly figure. Or I would imagine being a male character's girlfriend, but it was a fantasy of someone finding me pretty and interesting and calling me nice things - when I tried to imagine us kissing it felt wrong. The only self-insert romantic or sexual fantasies I have are about female characters, and I daydream about THEM all the time.
Tl;dr - does this signal some level of OSA? About the handsome actor thing or the reading/writing romance novels? I appreciate you all so much for weighing in.

No. 367325

>>367237
this is kind of similar to my struggle. I find certain men very attractive, they look appealing to me. But the thought of having sex with them makes me feel uncomfortable. I also kind of hate penises. I can still be romantically attracted to some men. Why is this?

No. 367354

>>367280
Honestly to keep it simple, if the idea of being intimate with men is unappealing to you 100% of the time then you're not OSA. Being able to enjoy straight romances in fiction or thinking that an actor of the opposite sex is aesthetically good looking isn't indicative of attraction. I'm a lesbian myself and there are a few men I recognize as good looking (more in a 'I wish I looked like him' kind of way though), and it's well-known that some gay men are fans of beautiful female celebrities while having no sexual attraction to them. At the end of the day sexuality is about who you actively like the idea of being sexually intimate with, if that's only women and never men then you're not bisexual.

No. 367432

>>367280
>Tl;dr - does this signal some level of OSA? About the handsome actor thing or the reading/writing romance novels? I appreciate you all so much for weighing in.
No, if your only sexual fantasies involving yourself are same-sex, the rest doesn't sound OSA. I've always liked homosexual ships (gay or lesbian) and a few straight ones, and I never saw that as "contradictory" to being a lesbian because I just think they're cute, I don't want to fuck the guy or think the gay sex is hot.

No. 367522

I used to be 100% straight and really thought dicks were attractive and got so turned on thinking about them, but then I went through a weird phase of having a crush on a woman for the first and only time (ended messily) and during that time I stopped being attracted to men. But now after that, I am attracted to men again…but my interest in dicks has NOT come back. When I see them my honest first reaction is laughter or revulsion. They are not sexy at all, and so fucked up looking. Particularly the head creeps me out. How can you just lose attraction to the type of genitals you used to find sexy? I'm honestly not into any other women either, idk what happened with that one crush a while ago but it was like a fever dream. So there's no reason for me to not like dick again. But I find them so ugly now even if the rest of the moid I like. Imagining one of those things going INSIDE ME is so nasty, even though I used to fantasize about it all the time. I have no trauma. So what is my problem? Do you think I'll go back to normal eventually? I hate feeling insane. First I felt insane when I developed that crush on a woman, now I feel insane because I reverted back to "my normal" but without the most critical part.

Lighthearted tangent: the other day I saw a nude art reference pose of a man doing a plank pose, and his dick just hung straight down like a noodle and touched the floor, it looked so goofy that I honestly laughed to the point of tears. I can't believe they run around with that thing flopping unless contained in clothes.

No. 367524

>>367522
I can’t give you advice anon but that last part is something I think about all the time I thought it was just me kek. The fact that without clothes they can’t run without their genitals flopping about is so fucking funny to me. Penises are hilariously ridiculous.

No. 367551

Long sperg incoming, but is it possible to gaslight yourself into thinking you're SSA?

The only relationship I've ever had was with a TIF who "passed" as an androgynous person, but even on T she had no genital changes whatsoever, and I was definitely sexually attracted to her. We were long distance and only fooled around once in person, but we did a lot online, over call, over video, whatever.

And yet I can't help but think that I may have just been lying to myself. Even with her, I always imagined myself as having a dick. I don't mind what I do have, but (probably because of a degree of internalized homophobia, if i can even call it that) I feel like I'd be able to do more with a dick.

But SSA women don't have those. The sex they want is between two WOMEN, not PIV. And what's more, for my whole childhood, I only really had crushes on fictional men. Nowadays I can still get myself to fantasize about relationships with male characters, but never female…but for whatever reason I can feel sexual attraction imagining male characters as TIFs. Did my past relationship just fuck me up that much??

I can't even really imagine myself having PIV sex. Never have. I'm interested to know what male genitals are like in person, and like I said, sometimes when I really hate myself I wish that I had them, but I feel NOTHING but discomfort even thinking about PIV where I'm the reciever. I've never been traumatized, either, and I'm not asexual or whatever other buzzword people are making up these days. I have a libido. I have sexual desire. I just don't want to have straight sex.

Still, I can't shake the feeling that I'm just LARPing. When I think about dating a woman, I immediately worry that I'd never be good enough, that I'd never feel real attraction, that she should find someone better. Even thinking about having a girlfriend often just doesn't feel right to me. It feels like I'm making every excuse in the book for why I can't date a woman, even though I have before.

Is this internalized homophobia? Or am I brainrotted from a shitty ex? Or am I just autistic?? Should I just grow a spine and get therapy?

No. 367555

>>367524
kek imagine if men were written the same way some scrote writers write women.
>I ran across the yard, my dick flopping slightly between my thighs

No. 367602

>>367551
>Long sperg incoming, but is it possible to gaslight yourself into thinking you're SSA?
Short answer: No.
Long answer: You can't completely gaslight yourself, if you're attracted to someone you'll know it. You can pretend very well where at times you'll even doubt your attraction, but you'll know something's wrong and you're not being your true self deep down. I guess it's like when SSA women pretend to be straight. They pretend to be and they pretend to like it, but they can't truly like it and be that, yknow?
>But SSA women don't have those. The sex they want is between two WOMEN, not PIV.
Short answer: SSA women can have those.
Long answer: A woman is same-sex attracted not because of what fantasies she has or what kind of sex she wants to do or her interests or anything, but because she's attracted to a woman. Everything else is irrelevant. Someone is a woman, because she's born as that (it's just a thing that happens kinda like eye color) and she has sexual feelings towards another woman.
>Crushes on fictional men
As in like, anime 2D characters or actual 3D men? I don't know much about this to say my opinion. Regardless of that, if it "counts" or not as a crush, does it really matter? It might give insight about yourself though, because fictional crushes are unattainable and protect you from getting hurt. I think you might just like the secondary sexual characteristics more, if the characters you crush on are 3D. Doesn't say that much about your sexuality though. Especially childhood crushes aren't even that important.
>Did my past relationship just fuck me up that much?
Probably
>When I think about dating a woman, I immediately worry that I'd never be good enough, that I'd never feel real attraction, that she should find someone better.
Many people who are in a relationship experience that fear if they're insecure or have had bad relationships in the past or maybe they're just noy prepared, that the person they're dating will find someone better. And with this
>I don't mind what I do have, but feel like I'd be able to do more with a dick.
it's the age old dilemma of bisexuals. I have one question: was the TIF you dated bisexual or she stated she had a preference for men? If so, I think I know what you might feel… You know how straight people worry that their gf/bf might cheat on them with another guy/girl? But it's usually only one sex they're afraid of. Well dating someone who is bisexual or being bisexual yourself adds the possibility that they'll leave you for someone of the same AND of the other sex. So maybe you feel like if you had a dick she would be more satisfied and you'd feel less jealous? If she's exclusively attracted to women, then I can't help with that.
>Is this internalized homophobia? Or am I brainrotted from a shitty ex? Or am I just autistic??
None of these you're just insecure of not being good enough and it's okay. It might be the second though.
>Should I just grow a spine and get therapy?
Yeah, it'd help you work out on your self esteem and other issues you might have

No. 367612

>>367522
Lmao, I remember seeing a gif of a naked guy running and thinking to myself "this can't be right!" Male bodies have such retarded shapes. How does it just flop around? That's ridiculous.
Sadly I can't give any advice.

No. 367631

Am I the only one who gets hung up on the word "attraction" and isn't sure what that means?
I've always gotten crushes on guys since a young age, where I want to get emotionally intimate and do stuff like kissing or cuddling, but I never get turned on sexually and actually find men's bodies pretty unpleasant. I always want to look away when I see sexualized men, it grosses me out. I know some people might argue that that's fair because it is true that a lot of men are ugly, but I mean I've never found a single man, even fictional, to be titilating, ever. I've had a boyfriend before and I had intense feelings of love but never ever felt aroused by him no matter what he did, I just didn't feel actively disgusted. Hated sex, it was boring at best and painful at worst.
I associate sexual feelings with my own body parts mostly and don't feel a desire to have either relationships or sex with women, but I've always had sexual fantasies involving women. I feel like this isn't "really gay" though since there's no specific people involved and doesn't extend to real life, I think it's just a consequence of my brain associating female parts with sexual pleasure and finding men ugly. I've never had a crush on a girl.
I've considered myself straight but it makes me feel screwed up that I just don't have sexual feelings for men, on some level I can't relate with straight women because I don't find any guys hot. I don't have sexual trauma or any weird stuff that'd explain some sort of repression either, I really feel like I'm outright not wired to feel that way about men. Does it still make sense to call myself "attracted to men" or straight at that point? I can't figure out if I count as "attracted" since it's like I have some components of what people experience but not others.
and what am I supposed to do with this situation? I feel like any guy is going to find it a dealbreaker that I'm not into him physically…

No. 367635

>>367551
You need to stop watching porn.

No. 367640

>>367522
You can fuck tifs exclusively

No. 367644

>>367631
>never get turned on sexually and actually find men's bodies pretty unpleasant
>sexual fantasies involving women
>outright not wired to feel that way about men
I am not gonna lie, you sound like a lesbian who hasn't come to terms with her sexuality or met anyone she likes yet. Or maybe a straight woman who has really low testosterone levels and zero sex drive. You know yourself better than anyone else, though.

No. 367666

>>367602
>was the TIF you dated bisexual?
She was, actually. I was the first woman she'd dated, if I remember right…so I think you might really be on to something, nona.
>As in like, anime 2D characters or actual 3D men?
2D, not just anime but 2D nevertheless. I was probably 14 the last time I had a crush on an actor, it's been so long. There aren't enough sickly waifish androgynous moids, I guess, lel.

Overall I think, looking back after some sleep, I was definitely overthinking. I know deep down the only "requirements" for being bisexual are being attracted to both sexes, and clearly I am. All the rest can be influenced by past experience and the world around you to some extent, but the one thing that bihets and conversion therapy alike have proven is that it's damn near impossible to change your baseline sexual attraction.

In any case, if I go out and date that girl I like, the worst that can happen is I realize I'm not into that after all (unlikely) which I know even happens in straight relationships. Of course, the idea of hurting a woman is way worse to me than if I were to hurt a man, kek. But potentially denying myself an entire facet of my sexuality because I don't want to hurt any women ever is unbelievably autistic and retarded, so I should give it a rest. Thank you nona, this was helpful!! I know I have self esteem problems like every other woman alive so I should work on those and get some pussy, I will return when my quest is complete…

No. 367668

>>367631
>>367644
what's with anons in this thread calling everyone lesbian at the faintest sign of anything? she literally says
>I've always gotten crushes on guys since a young age, where I want to get emotionally intimate and do stuff like kissing
my god, it's fine to not like sex bc so many guys have ruined themselves w porn addiction or dont listen to their partners about what feels good. maybe everyone around you is fugly idk. anon you literally have crushes on guys and want to kiss them, you're not a lesbian, just rightfully picky as you should be about the quality of your partner. its possible you could be bi but like honestly just read thru this thread if you're seriously questioning

No. 367675

>>367668
ayrt, I'm sure you could be right and I don't think it's like crystal clear that she's obviously a repressed lesbian or anything like that. but fwiw, she didn't say "I'm into men but I don't like the sex because guys have ruined themselves with porn addiction." she said she had no physical or sexual attraction to men, at all, on any level, and DID have sexual fantasies about women. even when I was a young and not ready for sex at all, I was still vaguely horny for boys as opposed to straight up sexually fantasizing about girls while finding boys completely unappealing.

No. 367684

>>367668
nta I’m 90% into women and have still felt sexual feelings towards guys. She has only felt romantically attracted to them, never sexually. Granted she has never been sexually attracted to an actual woman as a person either, just an imaginary one. I don’t think you can say either way.

No. 367688

>>367640
The sad pathetic thing is, I absolutely would if not for the fact I’d have to pretend their gender delusions with them. Plus I’d feel a little bad to be attracted to them for something they’re doing that is bad for their health. It’s hypocritical.

No. 367735

>>367688
I'm in the same boat. Butch women are VERY attractive to me, but these days TIFfanies are way more common, so half the women I crush on, I later learn are "transmasc". Much as I disagree with transgenderism, I think it's fucked up to date someone just in the hope that I can "fix" her and make her drop the pronouns. I also am not interested in a 24/7 roleplay where I pretend to not have working eyes. But hey, there are clearly still butch women out there, so all hope isn't lost, I guess, right?

No. 367788

>>367675
>>367684
romantic attraction is still part of one's sexuality no matter how much anyone wants to dissect it. theres a limit to polite hand-wringing, and thinking wanting to kiss males still applies to lesbianism is pants-shittingly stupid. integrate or go back ffs.

No. 367791

>>367788
Go back to where? Relax. I specifically said that we can’t say for sure either way. I don’t think she’s a lesbian any more than I think she’s bi or straight.

I do wonder how that would work though? Say being only sexually attracted to one gender, but only romantically attracted to the other? I wouldn’t understand how that would be possible but OP’s situation seems close to it.

No. 367796

>>367788
Dating men because it's the expected thing for women to do while feeling no attraction to them and suppressing attraction to women is the classic "mom leaves dad and comes out as a lesbian at 45 after a life of disappointment" move, though. It's Megan thinking about other cheerleaders while kissing her boyfriend. It's not a spicy straight girl thing to be sexually fantasizing about women and repulsed by your boyfriend. Also, saying that there are separate sexual and romantic elements of sexuality is some tumblr asexual discourse shit imo.

No. 367804

I consider myself bisexual since I feel attraction to both men and women. But my attraction to men is kind of… odd? I feel like I’m forcing myself to find them more attractive than I do and constantly think things like, “if only he was female, he would be perfect” which I understand makes no sense but, god I don’t know. sometimes I just want to take the facial features of a guy I like, make them slightly softer/less androgenised then transfer them onto an adjacent female body while keeping the same personality and presentation. I’m literally incapable of being attracted to a male without having these thoughts constantly, what it would be like if he was just female. It just ends up with me being unsatisfied if I ever get involved with them.

It’s weird because if I think of any male celebrity I’m neutral towards sexually but imagine them as a TiF I can immediately consider them attractive. When it comes to characters, I like both male and female ones but I always imagine the male ones with a vulva, never with a penis. Actually I do this with real men too sometimes.

Whenever I stop liking a guy or like a woman instead I always feel so relieved, it feels like I don’t have to force myself anymore. I also feel just as much sexual attraction for men, but if I actually have sex with them I don’t enjoy it. Anyone have any ideas about this? It’s a little frustrating.

No. 367905

>>367791
>>367796
>Say being only sexually attracted to one gender, but only romantically attracted to the other? I wouldn’t understand how that would be possible but OP’s situation seems close to it.
>saying that there are separate sexual and romantic elements of sexuality is some tumblr asexual discourse shit imo.
I'm the OP and I feel similarly where I think it sounds stupid, but it almost seems like the closest description even though I'd never self-describe that way. Even people who espouse split attraction stuff never seem to have cleanly divided opposites though, they always have bi- or a- thrown in there, which seems like they're just straights trying to seem qweer or people consciously choosing to not engage with one sex despite having feelings.
I have never heard anyone express anything like what I feel. I don't relate to stuff like, a woman no longer being into her man but she still feels excited by some other man (even if he's unattainable/idealized), or a woman having the urge to seek women but feeling held back by something, or a woman who literally never feels physical arousal ever.
I don't feel comfortable calling myself either bi or lesbian when I've never wanted to be more than friends with any woman but I've had multiple people insist that I am, while others equally insist that I'm definitely straight, and in absence of a clear answer I'm kinda left wondering if I'm mentally defective or retarded. Is there anything I can even do to try to sort things out?

No. 367952

>>367905
Sexual and romantic attraction can be separated. If you want a "famous" example just look at Freddie Mercury, he was clearly hetero-romantic but is homo-sexual. But of course he chased the coom instead of staying in the closet and being married to Mary.

No. 367955

>>367952
Yes and no. There can be sex/attraction without love, but not vice versa.

No. 367956

>>367952
Nta agreed, idk why anons are being so autistic about this. I'm straight, find it fairly easy to be attracted to moids, but ended up in a relationship with someone I wasn't attracted to. Despite him being the right gender and us being bestest of friends, we lacked chemistry. I low-key relate to Freddy Mercury because I loved my bf so much lmao, it was a terrible situation. Ended up "chasing the coom" after breaking up with him

No. 368017

>>367952
Go back to Tumblr. Unless someone is disinterested in having sex full-stop, being in a relationship with someone you get along with personality-wise but aren't attracted to sexually is just unhealthy or settling.

No. 368022

>>367956
>I'm straight
we already knew bc you clearly have no fucking clue about shit. your previous relationship ended up being just friendship, you're not "chasing the coom" for pursuing someone you're actually sexually attracted to

No. 368026

File: 1703441766712.jpg (29.18 KB, 564x564, acc68af13579137e61aab858d8291b…)

so at high-school (and I am now 27 and have never had a boyfriend/kiss/sexual experience, yes I feel embarrassed and ashamed typing) I had this 'friend' who was so horrid and was one of those people who would embarrass you to make others laugh (I can't really explain) and I remember she would often say I was gay and say if others (in the friend group or whatever) think so too. I didnt have a boyfriend and I have always been so shy and awkward, especially at school and back then obviously it was different if someone called you gay, kinda. but I then always wondered.. am I a lesbian?

I guess I have been turned on by women aroused by women in sexualised situations? like erotica and stuff. but I can't imagine or like the thought of being with a woman sexually or romantically. like I fantasise about relationships with men, imagining my favourite actors and have had 'crushes' and feel fuzzy inside when fantasising but I have such social anxiety I am too scared for dating apps and life isn't good right now but ugh I am so sorry I am typing this out and feel stupid. Sorry for being annoying I just wanted to get it off my chest and see if any of you can relate?

No. 368639

>>368026
>but I can't imagine or like the thought of being with a woman sexually or romantically
I stopped reading there, you're straight, that's it.

No. 368646

>>367804
Bi but you're attracted to women more/have a strong preference for women. 5 in the Kinsey scale.
Might have developed some resentment towards men depending on your life experiences and who you hang out with too.
Just date a woman at this point, more butch or more masculine.

No. 368648

>>368026
You're straight and you're subconsciously trying to find a socially acceptable justification for having no romantic and sexual experience. Try to be at peace with yourself from now on.

No. 368658

>>368648
>>368639
Sorry I realise I sound stupid now. I think I have always been questioning because of that girl at school which again is stupid

No. 368668

>>368022
Idk why you are getting your panties in a twist when we agree lol, you're being a turboautist

No. 368708

>>368017
wait until you learn about bearding kek

No. 368740

>>368708
? Two opposite sex gay people pretending to be a straight couple isn't the same as "split attraction".

No. 368751

>>367955
nta but what would you call it if someone feels a genuine (let's assume not a socially pressured illusion) urge to do stuff like kissing, cuddling, going on dates, being exclusive, and other stuff associated with romantic love, but in absence of sexual attraction? Just an unusually close friendship?
Not trying to argue in any which way just curious for you to expand on what you said

No. 368797

Has anyone here ever broken off a friendship with a woman because you were developing romantic feelings for her?

No. 368834

>>368797
no but I had a friend who insisted I was in love with her. I did feel very close to her but I wasn't remotely physically attracted to her. she would always start talking about it when I was drunk and it would mess with my head. I am not friends with her anymore.

No. 368840

>>367354
>>367432
AYRT. Thanks anons for all your advice, this has helped me a lot. I think I am lesbian — looking back the signs are all there — and I feel more at peace now. Rooting for everyone ITT to experience joy in their future relationships, merry Christmas

No. 368901

>>368740
Isn't that lavender marriage? I thought bearding was just one person covering up for a closeted gay person. Tho what the other anon described does happen with tonnns of closest cases.

No. 368966

>>368751
nta but i'd just say that's someone with a practically non-existent libido. theres just not much use and some harm in trying to dissect attraction into romantic and sexual components when they're often together (and unhealthy when not). there's critiques of the split attraction model in this thread iirc if you're curious.
i appreciate that 'asexual' is a general term that many women use to signal they'd rather be celibate/have very very low libidos, but out of all the times ive been around ttt spaces, it doesnt seem to be an actual thing and rather just caused by trauma/porn addiction/internal hangups/lack of interest

No. 369010

File: 1703589456280.png (221.12 KB, 374x376, IMG_2124.png)

if female sexuality’s so convoluted, HOW DO I KNOW I’M STRAIGHT AND NOT JUST ASHAMED OF BEING GAY/BI? My dislike of naked women and pussy’s keeping me sane. but then—bam—held hands with my roommate once. Idk if it was platonic or something and I hate it.

Didn’t know what crushes are but knew something about boys drew me in. I like boys, just never saw them sexually (thanks society). Then that gayass masterdoc came in and ruined me lol….some of it was bullshit though. Like, never found shego hot lol. Or hell, none of my sex fantasies were faceless. So idk lol, I’m just a weird hettie or what?

No. 369012

>>369010
Society? I am middle eastern and never had these confusions, I just know I'm straight because I don't have a broken libido. This is a you problem

No. 369018

>>369010
If you don't want to have sex with women you're straight, don't overthink it.

No. 369021

>>369010
You sound 14.

No. 369080

>>369010
Holding hands with your roommate doesn't count for anything. Have you ever had sexual fantasies about a woman af all? You said it yourself that you don't like naked women or pussy, you're straight. You're making it much more complicated than it actually is.

No. 369228

I wonder is it possible to know your sexuality if you never had relationship/sex with anyone?
I would call myself asexual because I'm almost thirty and never had and don't want any relationship, but asexual isn't a sexuality sooo yeah
I like and don't like anyone equally, but if I ever had any sexual dream, it always was with a woman. Irl though hypothetically I'll be with a man, but I live in a homophobic country and maybe this is the reason. I just don't understand what am I and if I need to understand it if I'm celibate.

No. 369337

>>369080

I got reservations though? attractions suppose to feel good right? why are my panic alarms going off soon as a guy pops up? for the record i've had a long history of anxiety and ocd. I've been a anxious, overanalyzing wreck my whole life so who knows…

No. 369409

>>369337
>attractions suppose to feel good right? why are my panic alarms going off soon as a guy pops up?
Because guys are dangerous and even if attraction is supposed to feel good, it's normal for straight women to feel uneasy around men and platonically comfortable about women.

>for the record i've had a long history of anxiety and ocd. I've been a anxious, overanalyzing wreck my whole life so who knows…

You're straight and probably have Sexual Orientation OCD. Look into some kind of specialized therapy or support group for it. The "lesbian masterdoc" was written by a bi woman with PTSD, the creator literally came out and said that. It's bullshit.

No. 369476

>>369337
>My dislike of naked women and pussy’s keeping me sane.
This is a big glaring sign you're not into women, but you've got to ask yourself if the "what am I technically" even matters. If you meet an attractive woman you want to have sex with, you can let it happen if/when it happens. You don't have to 'pre-determine' your sexuality. Let sexual attraction happen as it happens without forcing it.

No. 369770

I know the split attraction model is bullshit but there isnt any other way to describe my attraction to men. I had some crushes on boys as a child, but that was before I hit puberty so Im not sure if it counts? As an adult I sometimes get crushes on male celebrities but they quickly disappear and only last a few days. I think most men are ugly but to be fair straight women think that too. While I can think a man looks cute or handsome I have never thought the male body is attractive and male nudity has never turned me on. straight friend once made a joke about male athlete competing nude and I casually said that that would be gross to look at because of their penises and she just looked at me really sureprised. I just never found penises attractive and tbh the thought of touching one kinda gross me out. I dont have trauma btw.
However I still have sexual fantasies about men but they involve a man eating me out (while he is fully clothed) or a man touching me and kissing me (while he is fully clothed). My sexual fantasies involving men focus more on the sensation of being touched rather than the man himself. I dont think male hands are attractive either so I just imagine what its like to be touched rather than thinking about his hands.
The thing is though Im not used to be around men. I only had female friends and there are only 5 men in my classes and I have no desire to befriend them so I spend 90% of my time with other women. So maybe my "repulsion"(for a lack of better words) for the male body stems from that Im not used to hang around men so i have a hard time "conceptualizing" the male body?
I know with guarantee that Im attracted to women though.

No. 369775

>>369010
FYI the masterdoc was written by a teenager who came out as lesbian then bisexual later on. That entire thing is like confirmation bias central and I would always trust my gut feelings and sexual attraction over that. The body usually doesn’t lie.

No. 369779

>>369010
You don't need a book that tells you how to love women, we lesbians and bisexuals have done this since the dawn on time with our hearts and pussies alone (and heads, partially), go have sex a woman and see how you feel about it later, no words just actions yolo

No. 369780

>>369010
If you're reading a book that tells you if you're a lesbian, you're already not. There's this scene in The Diary of a Wimpy Kid movie where they're having an audition and everyone's singing and they're just not good at it at all, even the kids who claimed they wanted to be Broadway singers growing up are very meh, then Greg sings and his voice is so beautiful. You see the the teacher's expression immediately changing when she realizes his hidden talent. Think of it like that, in life you just don't know if you're a singer til you try to sing
>inb4 someone lists an exception
True, exceptions exists but this Nona above isn't the exception

No. 369804

>>369770
You're not special. Countless straight women feel exactly you do. Broken libidos are very common and men being hideous animals doesn't help. You're a run of the mill bi.

No. 369955

>>369228
Do you get off to men or women when you touch yourself?(scrote moment)

No. 369980

>>369955
How the fuck is this scrote moment? It makes perfect sense to ask this because it tells you what sex your brain is attracted to. Also to reply to >>369228, I think that having sex dreams with only women is a big indicator that you like women sexually, unless you've gone through some sort of sexual trauma. Now this doesn't necessarily mean that you are a lesbian, you might still be bisexual, but I think you're definitely sexually attracted to women.

No. 369987

>>369010
>Fellas is it gay as a woman if you find nakes women repulsive

No. 369988

>>369955
why is this a scrote moment?

No. 370008

>>369987
"lesbians" obsessed with comphet and male gaze be like.

No. 370017

>>369988
Seems malegazey to ask about masturbation habits?

No. 370025

File: 1703980494700.gif (329.73 KB, 255x255, 1sii77z0.wizardchan.1403720560…)

>>370017
You can't be serious.

No. 370028

>>370025
you couldn't have chosen a worse pic if you're trying to beat the moid allegations man

No. 370030

>>370025
>>370028
KEK didn't even notice the "wizardchan" in the filename
is this where all the moids have been coming from recently? would explain the absolute spergout from the "anonette" who tried to make that wizard thread earlier

No. 370122

>>369987
Og>>369010 posting here, but what about fetishes with female subjects? Was into them till recently, but I'm not sure if my change in taste was due to Pavloving myself into liking it. My arousal was not quite as intense before that. It was like, eh, guys, but just the sight of dick makes my pussy hot. Is this an indicator of late blossoming or not?

No. 370130

>>370025
How you ‘fap’ nonny? We’re all girls here
*wink wink. For research purposes.

:^)(emoticon)

No. 370135

>>370122
Be real how old are you?

No. 370136

>>370135

23. About to turn 24 next year.

No. 370138

>>370122
You find male bodies hot and cock makes your pussy wet, while female bodies and vaginas disgust you. How much more clear can it be that you're straight. Are you trolling?

No. 370139

>>370122
>>370138
Pretty sure anon is either trolling really hard or a self hating straight desperately trying to convince herself she's into women.

No. 370142

>>370017
In the questioning sexuality thread tho…?

No. 370143

>>370142
It was a pretty lazy reply considering the complex situation of the nona questioning, also she didn’t even ask who she was sexually attracted to she asked if it mattered, and it was phrased in an unnecessarily crude way so I don’t really care if it was a scrote or not. Probably was a scrote considering the trolling on /g/ lately and the wizardchan reply above

No. 370161

>>370138
maybe I am straight but part of me has a hard time getting it. Fwiw, apologies. If it came off as trolling, shame on me lol. haven't had the chance to explore myself tangibly (thanks shame). Never once did I wonder what does any of this means? Am I gay for looking a muscular women for like 8 secs? I just knew I was never aroused by guy's nether regions until my early 20s probably. that and well, it turns out I have a type that barely exist in both fiction and real life.

No. 370162

I like 2d men, but I don't think I've ever been really attracted to a real man.
I tried dating once, it lasted a couple of days, but when he tried to do stuff like kissing I wasn't into it to say the least and he broke up with me on account that we weren't the same wavelength and he thought I was pushing it when I wasn't really attracted to him.
I have been attracted to women before, but I'm not attracted to illustrations of women at all. I tried confessing once in highschool, but she was straight and I was let down gently.
I haven't dated anybody since. Multiple men have told me that they thought I was asexual, weirdly enough.

No. 370167

>>370162
That sounds pretty gay, maybe just slightly bisexual because of the 2D attraction.

No. 370168

>>370162
You sound like me, I love my husbandos but I've never been attracted to a real guy, I love women too.and as for you a lot of people think I'm asexual because it's very obvious I don't date, non religious celibacy is apparently very rare for people my age.

No. 370177

>>370167
>>370168
Yeah, it's the 2d aspect that confuses me. 2d men? Great! Real men, I feel a little uncomfortable tbh.
2d women? Eh, I'd say they're pretty from an artistic perspective. Real women? I'd be bright red.
Only men think I'm asexual too, women tend to think I'm at least bi.

No. 370184

>>370162
>>370177
Honest question, do you feel repressing your sexual feelings for men irl? Like maybe you see a hot dude, or interact with a man you think is pretty decent but you immediately block those feelings? Can be due to pinkpill beliefs or trauma, etc.

No. 370186

>>370184
No? I don't really comprehend men as attractive until someone tells me that they are, tbh.
Fwiw I grew up in a fairly egalitarian but majority male household and have a pretty close relationship with my male relatives.

No. 370187

>>370186
Ah, I should be clear, by "uncomfortable" I meant in sexual situations. I get along fine in normal conversation.

No. 370190

>>370186
So what is it that you like about 2D men that 3D moids are lacking?

No. 370192

File: 1704048474867.jpg (584.84 KB, 900x900, 20231120_004533.jpg)

>>370190
I don't know, honestly. I guess like shading, definition, and stuff, the angles, color, and expressions that only art can get away with, that sort of thing. Like pic related, I'd say I like.

No. 370220

>>370192
>shading and color
Kek. So you like the art styles, not the men in it.

No. 370224

>>370220
I'm not attracted to 2d women though, even in the same artstyle.
I guess I'll just call myself bi and call it a day.

No. 370235

>>370224
Are you able to get off to the idea of these 2D men that you like?

No. 370237

>>370235
Yeah, but fwiw I never self insert.

No. 370272

>>370192
Okay but who is he please

No. 370278

>>370272
NTA but Ginko from Mushishi.

No. 370479

I think I'm finally realizing I'm bisexual but I really hate how it manifests. I cannot feel romantic attraction to men yet I can essentially masturbate to any dude if I put effort into it. Then my sexual attraction to women doesn't happen until I get intimate with them, so I cannot just wank it to girls when I'm horny. It's very annoying and I wish I was more consistent with these feelings.

No. 370480

>>370479
You sound straight…imo

No. 370483

>>370480
So I'm straight with an occasional female fetish? Wouldn't this still fall under bisexual?

No. 370516

>>370483
do you want to fuck women? if so you're bi. if not , you're het. its easy

No. 370518

This thread is like
>lesbian = has never considered straight relationships even from social pressures or looked in a male direction
>bi = has only dated and had sex with women, but has felt attraction to a moid or considered being with one
>straight = everyone else

No. 370525

>>370518
It's like everyone's sexuality must revolve around dicks.
Bi women are slutty straight women who do it for male attention.
Bifags are just confused gay men.
A gay man can be married for years to a woman with kids and no one questions him once he comes out. But a lesbian can't even be fan of a male celebrity without people questioning her sexuality.

No. 370538

>>370483
>female fetish
Why do you talk like this? Porn and the internet has rotted your brain, I swear. Literally log off and experience real life and you will know exactly what you are within the year.

No. 370543

>>370525
It's not even surprising that most female-leaning bisexuals of both sexes do not call themselves bisexual in real life, preferring to just identify with their female attraction (female-leaning bisexual women often calling themselves "lesbians with comphet/exceptions etc" and female-leaning bisexual men basically considering themselves "spicy straights" at most), though I think this also might perpetuate a self-fulfilling prophecy that "(people who call themselves) bisexuals all overwhelmingly prefer men"

No. 370552

>>370538
NTA but I think anon was being sarcastic when she used that phrase. Since she posted about sleeping with women and someone called her straight.

No. 370554

>>370518
More like this thread
>Am I lesbian if I dont find women sexually or romantically attractive? I'm only ever been attracted to guys, does that mean I am a lesbian?

No. 370587

>>370554
Kek true.

No. 370589

>>370525
It’s just misogyny. Moids can only process the concept of sex if their dicks are involved in it and most moids don’t even view non penetrative sex as valid

No. 370593

>>369955
I don't masturbate and never did and don't want to lol
>>369980
Thank you. I don't have any trauma so I guess I'm bi

No. 371713

Do you think it's possible that what someone thinks is attraction is actually just traumatic bonding or feeling like you're supposed to go to the opposite sex? Growing up I'd get crushes on boys who were nice to me, and when I had a bf as a teenager I loved him a lot, to the point of obsessiveness. But looking back I'm wondering if this kind of thing doesn't really "count" because I was extremely lonely and wanted friends really bad in general? I had bad experiences getting bullied by other girls so I was always socially outcast from them, and admired boys for being easier to get along with since I had some more boyish interests. He was basically my only friend and the only person I talked to at all.
Even though I was really close with my bf, I never felt interested in him sexually. I feel like I really just wanted a best friend who I'd live with someday, and I usually felt better calling him my best friend instead of my boyfriend (he was fine with this but people thought it was weird). I'd say and do sexual things but it felt like I was working from a script, like "oh this is what a girl would say in this situation," as as I got older and more confident I stopped feeling willing to go along with it so we ceased all anything sexual about our relationship and I got upset when he suggested working towards rekindling it.
When I really felt aroused I'd have sexual fantasies about girls, then feel guilty and try to switch to thinking about my bf, only to immediately kill the mood. Or start the other way around imagining a romantic storyline involving him and then finish off with a random female fantasy "as a treat." Other than my bf I outright hated the idea of men being sexualized, it still gets this sickened instinct out of me, at best I get a sort of morbid curiosity while cringing at the same time.
He often felt like I was different in some way, in this regard. I remember once he asked me why I ever kiss him and I said "because I like you" and he clearly thought that was the wrong answer, and asked for another answer, and I said "…because it feels nice?" I notice he'd try to kiss me for really long periods of time like he was drunk or magnetized and I'd get really freaking bored, it feels soft and warm at the start but I didn't get that "drive" to go on and on like he did. I've wondered if that's sexual attraction or just a male thing.
We aren't together now, and I still get female sexual urges and no male ones. The other day I woke up feeling incredibly stimulated and had to like restrain myself from rabidly thinking about vulvas as I tried to reorient myself in the post-sleep confusion. Idk, it comes really naturally and spontaneously.
So I've been considering if I've never been straight or even bi to begin with but outright homosexual, but I also feel conflicted because I had a long relationship with a man in which I actually loved him. But maybe not in the way women usually love men?
And I don't know if I would want a relationship with a woman; it's not a "yes" or "no" towards that idea, I'm just not sure. I just know that I've always really wanted to get married and raise children, which I've always associated with men, but I dislike the idea of needing to have sex with men.
Idk I'm also self-conscious that maybe I'm just trying to conjure up a reason for retconning that relationship and trying to use lesbianism as an excuse, any advice?

No. 371739

>>371713
>I still get female sexual urges and no male ones.
There’s your answer. As a lonely teenager some of your crushes on guys could have been strong platonic feelings. I had a ‘crush’ on a guy friend in high school because we liked the same type of music and humor. Looking back those were not romantic feelings because I felt no sadness/jealousy when he introduced his girlfriend to our group of friends but I did feel a sense of loss whenever one of my female friends genuinely fell in love with a guy because that was the end of the messaging each other every day stage of our friendship.

Would you ever try dating a woman even just one date? How do you feel about being seen in public as part of a lesbian couple?

No. 371763

Idk it’s difficult to tell if I’m bi or a lesbian or straight. I’m autistic so this will shed some prior context.
You’d think it’s a no brainer to know, but I’m terrified of having sex with men. The idea of getting penetrated irl frightens me to the core. It’s not sexy at all. Imagining myself married to a man is not very appealing, it’s a faceless fantasy I suppose, I never imagine a specific man, it’s bland, I can’t really find much enjoyment out of it.
The concept itself, being married as in forming a family, it feels appealing but the guy is the last thing I’m thinking about. I’ve always longed to be “normal” and have a family of my own… but as I said, the man seems to be only an accessory to my dream, not a main component.

I’ve had fantasies with women, the idea of marrying one, living with her… I feel guilty but it doesn’t seem half bad.
Sex with women doesn’t sound terrifying, I’ve had sexual fantasies with both men and women that involve me but both are unsatisfying, Milquetoast.

I like watching both sexes masturbate so idk what that says about me. I do think I might be attracted more to male physiques but not their faces.

I’ve had boyfriends but kissing them ranged from terrifying or uncomfortable to doing nothing for me. It was a chore at best.
The man I dated a year, I was constantly dreading for the day he would ask me for sex, but he had performance anxiety so that day never came, I just broke things off due to unrelated issues in the relationship.

However I love husbando and shipping fantasies, using a canon female character as a pseudo self insert or projection.

I love imagining my husbando getting touched by women, being loved, pleasured. Mostly just the character being touched and in a vulnerable position, maybe tied up? Generally submissive.

I don’t feel this for female characters.

And no I don’t really watch porn for the most part. I’ve been off live action porn for months now that I think about it. I barely search or browse anime porn because my husbandos are niche and I don’t enjoy yaoi very much.

Im a het shipper and yumejoshi by nature I suppose, but the anime Moids I like barely have any substantial yumejo or het shipper community for me to engage with.

Idk.

No. 371764

>>371763
Kek. My guess is you’re just a weirdo bisexual. No need to overcomplicate it; what you want is what you want. You don’t have to have penetrative sex with men or get married to one, but if you find men that you don’t feel uncomfortable with you can do other sexual things with them and maybe date them. It sounds like you just weren’t attracted to your boyfriends because finding good real life moids is like searching for a needle in a haystack whereas husbandos are better by default.

Do you have any experience with women, or have you only dated men? I think this is important because if you had no experience at all you would have seemed like a mostly straight woman with personal hang-ups. Which demonstrates that actually being with a man or woman is what reveals if you enjoy it or not.

No. 371806

>>371764
Same anon here. I have no experience with women really. It’s hard to know if I like them because I have not crushed on anyone since high school. I even have doubts I can fall in love because I’m too autistic for it. But I’m not even sure if aromanticism is even a real thing to begin with.
I feel I’m just too stupid and inexperienced, maybe I just need to fuck a moid that isn’t ugly.

No. 371843

>>371739
It's hard for me to answer those questions since I guess I feel like I have no frame of reference? I do know that I'm not comfortable with going on dates with strangers, I've always wanted to get to know someone as a friend first then move into romance (doesn't fit the current dating scene, I know).
One thing that adds to my confusion is that because my interests are often male-dominated and I just have some sort of issue connecting with women (something nebulous about mismatched communication styles), I've never really had any strong female relationships aside from my family members. I've always gotten along better with men so I'm ashamed to say that women other than myself are sort of mysterious to me.

No. 372757

>grew up very religious in a conservative area with no visible gay people
>family members were/are vocally homophobic
>started noticing girls'/womens' bodies at a very young age
>would get very clingy and obsessive about certain female friends and felt devastated by friend breakups
>all this got more intense around puberty
>started getting a lot of intense, internal crushes on idealized versions of guys that came to a screeching halt if they reciprocated physically or if I tried to think of actually having sex with them
>at the same time, weirdly fixated on female bodies despite not watching porn
>could not (still honestly can't) do female figure studies without getting extremely horny
>didn't realize I was actually attracted to other girls until college, thought I was just some weird pervert
>early college years started with a catastrophic series of events that involved a lot of dubious sex with men, losing the religion, and meeting people outside of my social bubble
>took on the bisexual label for a while but could never really get into sex with men
>sex with guys felt at best like playing a weird rhythm game where I'd be rewarded with some pleasure and a more docile moid for a few weeks
>get into a "healthy" relationship after a series of failed ones
>rapidly peter off having sex to the point of actively avoiding it
>even though current boyfriend is objectively fit, not coom-brained, and nice to look at, feel boredom mixed with disgust whenever I have to actually handle his dick or he tries to do anything sexual
>to me, even attractive men have something "off" about their faces or bodies whereas women I'm attracted to practically shut my brain off

I consider myself traumatized bisexual or even straight given that I've had little to no experience with women, but my almost total lack of sexual interest in men gives me serious pause.

No. 372766

>>372757
You sound gay not gonna lie. Like you’re functionally bisexual but you should be a lesbian.

No. 372869

Can anyone ITT relate to fixating on very feminine male characters, usually from anime/manga, the ones who look very womanly and can be voiced by female voice actresses but are canonically male, with flat chests and the knowledge that they have a dicks and balls down there? Considering that moids like this are virtually nonexistent aside from maybe extremly passing naturally overly estrogenated troons irl I really don't know what sexuality that makes me. I'm well into my 20s and have been avoiding all intimate contact with others my whole life. Am I just a troon chaser? or an Autist/Schizoid NEET? I desire romantic love but I have so many hangups and contradictions about it, and nobody Irl matches my preference. Have I fried my brain from becoming addicted to niche BL / otaku tropes and husbandofaggotry? Should I kms and hope I can be reincarnated and start off fresh?

No. 372871

>>372869
I’m your reverse (minus the anime), and I’m slowly closing in on the last option you listed. The type of extreme androgyny I’m attracted to is too rare to ever find (especially as an ugly person kek, like it’s already 1 in a million and then they’d have to like me back which is not gonna happen).

No. 372883

>>372757
You're definitely a normie bi. Finding male faces and bodies ugly is a common sentiment among straight women. It would be weirder if a woman acted like a faggot and actually enjoyed touching meat dildos. You can still call yourself straight as I doubt you'll have any relations with a woman, ever.

No. 372902

>>372869
>>372871
Doesn’t that just manifest IRL as having a thing for small-chested skinny women? Obviously they’re rare so it’s just being a 99% straight 1% gay kind of “bi”. But the only people with that kind of body type are female, I am flat-chested with a similar figure to those anime boys. Bisexual women with a preference men seem to prefer this to overtly feminine looks.

No. 372930

>>372871
By "reverse" do you mean like you also like feminine males but irl? Or you like very masculine women/basically ftms? I also relate to that though, low self-esteem doesn't help on top of everything else. Stay strong anon…
>>372902
Yup it's basically that for me, I notice women more IRL, both "boyish" and feminine women, because they are most common and have the features I'm interested in. I thought about dating a "boyish" woman as compromise, but it stops there because I just have this weird hangup about dating in general, hence why I fixate from a detached pov on fictional characters. I would have to say "male leaning bisexual" suits me the best, but I might just be straight with a weird fetish? Most bihet women like generic males, and as >>372871
said I have a very particular taste for extreme androgyny. I feel like this is all probably caused by autism or schizoid/schizotypal pd (questioning sexuality, anhedonia and avoidance to IRL relationships, unconventional sexuality and fixating on fictional characters are all classic traits) like many others in this thread, so I should probably get psychological help before anything but with my avoidant traits and fear of opening up it's a paradoxical cycle. I wish more research was done on unconventional female sexuality, but everything has to be done with a male bias…

No. 372956

>>372930
There is no such thing as "true" or "extreme" androgyny.

No. 372958

>>372956
there is in media are you even reading her comment?

No. 372961

>>372958
Just trying to reassure the schizo that it's not possible. She should get help.

No. 372965

>>372961
I don't think they're talking about finding a hermaphrodite or a mythical human capable of parthenogenesis. They just like an androgynous appearance. Androgyny is a word that has a meaning pertaining to appearance, it's not a different race of people or something. You're making it into more than it is.

No. 372971

File: 1705075241234.jpeg (24.84 KB, 217x232, degen.jpeg)

>>372869
>>372871
>>372930
I'm kind of like this and I've figured I'm just a type of bi with a fixation on androgyny. Especially as a teenager I was obsessed with effeminate male characters and was into BL, but then I discovered the autistic niche of "breeches role" aka actresses playing (young) men in plays and operas, turns out I'm mostly into masculine looking women irl. I can't stand troonism and I wouldn't date a TIF but I'm extremely jealous of TIFs dating each other. Basically I am into retarded yaoi larp.

No. 372974

>>372883
Im pretty sure Im bi but always thought Im weird as my attraction to men is similar as to women. Like I get wet from the sight of a nice moid ass, even if his face is ugly. At least didnt have to question much by being this monkeybrained.

No. 373000

>>372961
Thanks for stating the obvious and contributing nothing to the conversation and reiterating what I admitted myself I guess? I wasn't expecting normies to contribute productively which is why I prefaced the post with "can anyone else relate"
>>372965
Funnily enough I've thought about that but I realize it's an unobtainable delusion lol. And felt too troony.
>>372971
Kek same anon, androgyny just excites me in a way normal people can't. I considered dating a tif and even had intrusive thoughts of trooning out myself even though I know deep down it's retarded, I don't want to live as a frog voiced leprechaun just for a niche interest. But I am kinda envious of them, they honestly seem happier than anyone on here despite the delusional LARP. ATP if I can find someone I like and someone who likes me I'd honestly be happy with, beggars can't be choosers and I can do the androgyne-fujoism thing as a hobby.

No. 373003

>>372961
Shit bait

No. 373009

>>373000
I take it back you are a bit unhinged about it. Rude anon was right. Maybe this should go in the fetishes you’re ashamed of thread, this is less a sexuality question and more a internet brainrot problem

No. 373032

>>373009
Nta but how is it “internet brain rot” to find androgyny attractive? I don’t know if you’re the same anon who has said it before in other threads but I’ve been hearing that on here lately and imo it’s stupid as fuck

No. 373043

>>373032
It's internet brainrot to consider trooning out and to be envious… of troons.

No. 373060

>>373057
> I'm almost exclusively into androgynous fictional characters and am disinterested with anyone irl
That's fine, but being into fictional characters is not a sexuality, it's more like a paraphilia or fetish (not to be rude to you or the yumes and husbandofags). This thread is more for real-life attractions.
>which people here evidently relate to so…
They do but… okay, for instance, Kirbynona is sexually attracted to kirby etc but she would never come in here and ask if that makes her gay or straight or bi. You see? It's a whole different thing. This is not the thread you seek.

No. 373062

>>373043
Except it's a question of sexuality because it's considering what gender I'm into lol. Unless you're one of those people who separates gender/presentation and sex/sexuality, which would be closer to troonism? Everything else is just involuntary thought or temporary obsession, not denying brainrot but the main point is I'm almost exclusively into androgynous fictional characters and am disinterested with anyone irl which people here evidently relate to so…

(deleted the post before I saw the reply)
>>373060
Except I don't want to fuck kirby here. I'm attracted to androgyny in adult humans as we've established seems to be a bi thing. Calling it a fetish or playing up the unhingedness with regards to troons is me being flippant. Is it really any less relevant than the women who come on here confused about how they think they might be gay because theyre addicted to futa lesbian masturbation porn but are turbovirgins irl due to being self-admitted autists?

No. 373067

>>373062
>Is it really any less relevant than the women who come on here confused about how they think they might be gay because theyre addicted to futa lesbian porn?
What? Are you asking if being attracted to androgynous women and men is like being addicted to anime autism porn? Or am I not following? Sincerely hope it’s the latter

No. 373068

>>373067
Nope. I'm being flippant again but those are real examples I've seen from this thread. Goddamn maybe it's you who needs the screening? Anyways, I literally saw people discuss 2D characters upthread so that moots your point. It's obvious that these threads are a circlejerk of people with opposing worldviews on sexuality going at it which is why I only wanted to see if other people could RELATE to my predicament. "stop watching porn/having unconventional hobbies and go out and try fucking someone" seems like the most sound advice people in this thread have been able to come up with it's just that I don't want to do that for mental illness/neurodivergency reasons and it's near impossible for in my situation, again reaching out to see if other people can relate because it seems to be a common thread with questioning individuals who aren't 14 years old.

No. 373078

>>373068
I genuinely don’t understand why you would say those things if you’re the original anon who asked if anyone could relate, you’re just insulting yourself and others like you? For the record I also love androgynous people so I’m not even trying to fight with you I’m just confused what point you’re trying to make.

No. 373089

>>373078
I'm being a bit self-deprecating yes but when did I insult others? I'm trying to explain why I thought this belongs on this thread and not on the fetish one for example because it feels like a double standard considering similar things have been discussed here. I'm not denying it could be paraphilia, but I don't think my situation fits with the "I wish my moid could fuck me in the ass while a woman shits in my mouth" type posts there, and I don't identify as a lesbian so that lesbian husbandofag thread seems off limits. If there are any others please feel free to suggest but I think this belongs here.

Maybe forget all the dumb shit I said before and I'll phrase it as a question for people ITT to give their opinions on: I'm sure many people have noticed a deeply confused group of people identifying as asexual lesbians into ~nonbinary femme indiviuals~ in more normie trans-sympathetic lgbt spaces, even though they exclusively hyperfixate on husbandos/bl (not saying I ID as this but with me specifically it's androgynous characters that aren't obtainable irl), at the most call their male fixations lesbians as cope, never do anything sexual and seem to have a platonic partnership with the women they've "dated" (who tend to be tomboyish and they themselves which I also relate to. Also I've seen "fujo4fujo" type people around). What sexuality would you guys describe this person as because it's similar to my situation and I wouldn't describe myself as a lesbian, from my pov neither would I these kinds of people. It's hard to say for me though because I haven't dated anyone irl and seldomly have attractions and crushes. I don't think it's asexuality because I think that's tied to neurodivergency which is why I kept mentioning that before, and it's clear this type of person and me as well do have attraction just to their fictional characters. Are they male leaning bisexuals? Female leaning? Are they actually asexual lesbians do you guys believe that's a thing? Or are they just straight people with an unusual preference. Since I relate to this and am questioning, I reiterate that I feel it belongs on here but if there are more fitting threads, please let me know.
>>373078

No. 373129

I get extremely horny when i think of having sex with a woman I like as a man, or picture her having sex with a man (not anyone specific, he's just a nondescript faceless figure), but when I imagine me having sex with her as a woman it feels "meh" to me at best and kind of gross and weird to me at worst.
I know anons' favorite one-size-fits-all answer is "PORNSICK!" but I don't watch porn and it disgusts me. And I know anons' second favorite answer is "TROON! seek help" but I don't want to be a man at any other time other than when I have sexual fantasies. I like being a woman. And also I respect lesbians and have no reason to feel disgust towards lesbian sex other than maybe if I am straight, but I don't think I am? I used to be sexually attracted to men, but they don't do anything at all for me these days for some reason.
I think if there was a machine that could scan your brain and spit out a sexuality result, my scan would just come back as "RETARDED"

No. 373135

>>373129
Anon I'm the androgyny anon from above and I've had similar fantasies but I didn't want to mention because I agree that porn is irrelevant to sexuality and you saw how people jumped to accuse me of being a troon for just the slightest mention of autoandrophilia. I don't think it automatically makes you a troon for having those fantasies but part of me thinks there are deeper psychological reasons behind it. Maybe someone should make a separate thread for serious discussion/advice on paraphilias since they sperg at the slightest mention of them here and the fetishes one is just casual banter/confessions?

No. 373183

I actually don't know anymore lol. I am now in my mid twenties and still figuring out what I am. I don't think I am heterosexual. When I was in college I got a boyfriend because all of my friends also had one. Everything was fine except for the sex part since I couldn't sleep with him. It didn't matter what we did I was as dry as a prune and completely turned off. I also don't feel horny when I see men's abs. I am able to get off to fanfiction smut but anything irl just isn't doing it for me. When I was in highschool I had a very intense crush on one of my female friends. We would do smutty roleplays on an internet forum together and then pretend like everything was normal the next day at school kek. It was mostly yaoi stuff. Idk if I should even try to date anyone since I def. do not want to perform sexual acts with irl men and I live in a very small town so the chances of running into a woman that would want to date me are very slim

No. 373209

>>373129
Even if you don't watch porn, our world/society is very pornsick and feeds into our subconscious pornographic imagery and unrealistic views and ideals of sex. Sex itself in movies, shows, books, etc revolves specifically around (heterosexual) male pleasure, so I believe it's easier to relate to yourself as a man or fantasize about a faceless man with a woman even if you really are just trying to fantasize about the woman, if that makes sense. Lesbian sex is also heavily reinforced in the public eye as something that scrotes enjoy, and that can affect you subconsciously too especially if you've never had personal sexual experience with a woman yourself and therefore only have fiction and imagination to base it off of. As for what this means for your sexuality, you're probably bi because you've expressed interest in men before and it doesn't sound like you're no longer interested in them wholesale, while still expressing interest in women. Anyways you're not retarded.

No. 373211

>>373183
kek nona are you me? I'm one of the anons who answered previosuly and I also used to rp yaoi stuff with an online friend, then she'd send me her smutfics. I also doubt I could find someone like me irl but a girl can dream

While porn and even moreso fanfic has affected my sexuality, I don't think it's all "pornsickness", in fact it would be pretty misogynistic imo to assume I'd be into average hunk type scrotes if porn didn't exist. embarrassing but one of my early sexual awakenings was reading a kids' fantasy novel by Lene Kaaberbøl and it had a male antagonist character who was canonically an eunuch (inb4 you screech at me I didn't know what it meant as a kid kek I'm not into irl eunuchs) who was descibed as very effeminate, for example he had a "soft voice like a girl" etc. There's a part in the book where he kills himself by jumping onto the sword of the girl protagonist and when I read that I felt really funny and didn't know why. I was around 9 years old at the time

No. 373249

>>373129
Lol the same happens to me. I think I'm just autistic heterosexual tbh.

No. 373252

>>373209
Yes, I think bisexual is the only thing I could be. But I still don’t understand why I have this problem. I was thinking about it more, and it’s like I want her to want me in the way that women want men. When I think about a woman wanting me as a woman, it feels unpleasant to me. Almost all of my fantasies are about me as a man with her. I want to do the things a man can experience with her. I want to lose myself in her hips like a man could and have her react to me like women react to men. It’s just so bizarre to me that this problem only applies to my sex drive, and not in other aspects if my life. I swear I actually really like being a woman otherwise.
>>373249
Why do you think you’re heterosexual if you are fantasizing about having sex with a woman? Genuine question because maybe I’m straight and just fucked uo somehow, I genuinely don’t have any idea what’s wrong with me at this point and I’m considering all options.

No. 373283

>I live in a very small town so the chances of running into a woman that would want to date me are very slim
same only I live in a big town, kek

No. 373546

I'm tired of being tormented by confusion about my sexuality. I'm not looking for advice this time, just venting. I genuinely don't know what I am or what I'm really attracted to, I gaslight myself constantly in opposite directions, when I ask for opinions I get opposite opinions about it, it seems like I'll never really know who I am. I'm also sad that I will always be romantically alone due to my problems, since I don't want to involve another person in my issues like that. I am so jealous of people who know who they are. At one point I thought I was that type of person. I never expected to be in this position.

No. 373570

>>373546
Protip: If you're ever sexually confused you're bisexual 100% of the time.

No. 373662

>>373252
Go on more about the ways women want men and react to men? Not diagnosing your sexuality, just interested

No. 373708

>>373662
I can’t really describe it in words, it’s more like a feeling or something, idk how to explain it. Like you know, the sort of natural mating urge between women and men.

No. 373710

>>373570
I… don’t think that’s true.

No. 373719

>>373546
I feel the same, and whenever I reach out for advice I get people suggesting everything from straight to lesbian to bi to asexual. I've tried out going by all those labels too and I always get people saying my behavior doesn't really match, am I sure I'm not actually [other orientation], no matter what I choose to go by. At the end of the day I don't care what label I just want to figure out if I'm able to have a fulfilling normal relationship with either a man or a woman, or if I'm just doomed to being too confusing for either sex.
In my case I have a strong pull towards wanting to date men that I don't feel towards women, but I'm exclusively sexually attracted to women. Tldr, but in response I've gotten:
>You're straight since you don't envision a relationship with a woman, you're just confused because men don't put effort in their appearance and women get sexualized!
>You're lesbian since you don't like men sexually, you're just confused since women are expected to date men and envision themselves with husbands!
>You're bi since you have some form of attraction towards both sexes! Case closed!
>why do you call yourself bi if you hate seeing any man in a sexual context and call attractive men ugly? You sound lesbian instead
>why do you call yourself bi if you've never had a crush on a woman or dated one? You sound straight instead
and I go back and forth on it too

No. 373734

File: 1705364402058.jpg (461.36 KB, 2048x1562, FV3TVmFaAAA_GZU.jpg)

Nonnies I've been going crazy for the past couple of days because I don't think I was ever emotionally attracted to men before. Sure there were men whom I found attractive physically irl but I was always too scared to talk/interact with them. Plus I don't think I could actually imagine myself in a relationship with them its only a sexual desire. With women its the opposite, I want to be in a loving emotional relationship with a woman but I don't know if I'm sexually attracted to women..Am I a lesbian?

No. 373735

>>373734
>posting that
>with an anime picrel
Is this bait?

No. 373740

>>373735
No nonnie, I'm genuine

No. 373742

>>373740
I don't believe you.
>I am sexually attracted to men
>anons am I a lesbian?
No. Stop trolling.

No. 373743

>>373742
Sorry I'm retarded I meant I find some men physically attractive but I wouldn't want to sleep with one (since its scary and penises are gross)

No. 373751

>>373743
If you're physically attracted to men, you are bisexual. Being a lesbian means you have no sexual/romantic interest in men. You could just be repressing your interest in men because men are a joke.

No. 373754

>>373734
You're just straight or polilez, not even a bi febfem tbh. There's no such thing as ~emotional attraction~. That's spicy straight gender queer terminology. You're either sexually attracted to women (lesbian), men (straight), or both (bi). There's already enough "lesbian" fujoshis who delude themselves as such while salivating over men.

No. 373764

>>373754
You say lesbian fujoshi are not actually lesbian but I only consume yuri and I'm exclusively sexually attracted to men irl. It sucks to be like this but it happens if you're exposed to certain things when young, so I wouldn't just dismiss every lesbian fujoshi as bisexual or straight.

No. 373776

i'm going to vent too, idk what advice i'm looking for though. i'm not turned on by anyone really. i don't take any medication so it's not from that. i don't think it's just because men are shit because even the nice ones, and so called "attractive", conventional ones, even men with traits that are supposed to be good in theory are all repulsive or dull to me. but i'm not gay either since i'm not sexually into women. i did however, used to make my dolls kiss and felt attracted to them as a child and people say that's a sign of something but i can't tell if they're memeing or not kek. whenever there were conversations over which actors/singers/etc were attractive i was stumped because they're all ugly. the male classmates and local men in other places were ugly too. it didn't matter if they were fit with styled hair and kind to everyone, i felt nothing.
there's this other situation which to me, indicates nothing but other people at the time interpreted differently. from elementary school to middle school i used to have a very intense friendship with this one girl, but it ended because she and other classmates started suspecting i was gay. but idk if some kid's opinion should be taken seriously so it's probably nothing. the only adults who thought i was gay were turbo conservative family members, i didn't even dress butch so i don't know what their deal was.

No. 373777

>”I’m sexually attracted to men but don’t want to sleep with one”
>Farmers: You’re straight.
>”I’m sexually attracted to women but could never imagine sleeping with one”
>Farmers: You’re straight.
Obviously >>373734 sounds heterosexual or at most bi but this is a trend I’ve seen in this thread anyway, it’s not very consistent, is it?

No. 373867

>>373777
It may seem inconsistent but "I don't want to have sex with women but girls are pretty" and "I don't want to have sex with men but I lust for, fantasize about, and desire them" is what straight women say all the time. Most women on planet earth, statistically almost every single one of them, will wind up straight, and on top of that, thinking women are pretty and men are gross is normal, and means literally nothing. I don't intend to sound mean since I believe most anons come from a good place, but it's obvious that 99% of the farmers in these threads are straight and just want to be convinced they're SSA. I don't blame them, men are shit, but let's be real here.

No. 373886

>>373867
NTA but what if I don't lust for, don't fantasize about, and don't desire either sex? I feel like I can't fit in any category. Nothing makes me horny and I don't get crushes on anyone.

No. 373889

>>373867
nta just wondering, is there a meaningful difference between something like "I enjoy fantasizing about sex with women but I'm not sure about doing it irl" vs. "I think women are pretty but I don't like the idea of having sex with them"?
Also what about the opposite, is "I don't feel lust for men but I want to marry/have kids with one" typical for straight women? I feel really out of place because I've always imagined relatively mainstream relationships (unlike lesbians who picture themselves with women) but I don't actually feel any sexual impulse towards men, even so-called attractive ones.

No. 373899

>>373889
>Also what about the opposite, is "I don't feel lust for men but I want to marry/have kids with one" typical for straight women? I feel really out of place because I've always imagined relatively mainstream relationships (unlike lesbians who picture themselves with women) but I don't actually feel any sexual impulse towards men, even so-called attractive ones.
ntayrt but I'm confused about this too, I thought most straight women were sexually attracted to men to some degree even if it's just in fantasy and fiction, or hypothetical scenarios, but apparently it's possible to still be straight while feeling zero hetero attraction whatsoever? I never knew what an attractive guy is supposed to look like because none of them are attractive, they're the same as ugly ones to me but the straight women I've met can think of at least one hypothetical idea of what they find attractive, I can't.

No. 373901

>>373889
I think flowers are pretty but I'm not into fucking plants, do you get it now? Thinking women are pretty =/=being attracted to women.

No. 373903

>>373867
No one in this thread said that though kek, it’s all women saying they’re sexually attracted to women, physically, being told they aren’t straight or they’re pornsick or whatever because they won’t have sex with one. Not about finding them pretty. But the women who couldn’t imagine having sex with men are never lesbian apparently. So what are you on about? I’m convinced you’re the anon telling nonas they’re straight even when they’re clearly not.

No. 373906

>>373903
There are several anons itt saying they find naked women gross yet still think theyre not straight

No. 373920

If dick makes your pussy feel tingly then you're sexually attracted to men. It doesn't matter if you hate them etc etc.

If pussy makes your pussy feel tingly, you're sexually attracted to women. It doesn't matter if you would never date one for whatever reason etc etc.

If neither makes your pussy feel tingly then you're low libido. Lose weight, work out, etc etc. Alternatively LARP troon 1-2 months to get on T and find out what makes your pussy tingly.

Simple as tbh. If you're still confused despite your pussy being tingly to either dicks or vagina then you're in denial about something.

No. 373921

>>373906
NTA yes, there are. But there are plenty that are not that, and I think what anons are saying is that oftentimes anons paint all questioning posts with the same broad brush, and I’ve seen it too— someone says they’re sexually attracted to women and anons don’t even give them the time of day and just say “straight! Next” because the way they like women or the type of women they like are not 100% whole grain lolcow(?) approved. Like the many anons who have said they lust after masculine or androgynous women, anons legitimately argue that means they’re straight because they only like women that have “male-like” traits and if you were really attracted to women you’d be attracted to all women, or “normal” women.
Basically what I’m saying is it doesn’t lend you much credibility to walk into every questioning post with the same predetermined idea in your head about who the anon is and what their hang up is about. Not every post is >>373734

No. 373923

>>373920
My pussy never feels “tingly” wtf kek. I always feel it in my inner thighs or my heart-area.

No. 373925

>>373923
You never ever feel the blood rushing to your vagina when you're sexually excited?

No. 373928

>>373920
>If neither makes your pussy feel tingly then you're low libido. Lose weight, work out, etc etc.
but i'm already thin and taking hormones sounds like a bad idea kek

No. 373931

>>373920
I already know my sexuality and I don’t think this is accurate. Thinking about a detached pussy or dick doesn’t excite me, I have to be attracted to a person to be aroused.

No. 373933

>>373928
Being underweight can also cause libido problems, as well as mental conditions. Definitely don't take T for the sake of raising your libido if you have heart problems though kek.

No. 373934

>>373931
Low libido cope.

No. 373937

>>373934
Oh I wish, I’m the anon who made a 5k essay on the female fantasies thread kek, I’m struggling. I wish being underweight killed my libido. But the only genitals that make my blood rush there are the ones attached to someone I’m attracted to. There’s more to attraction than that.

No. 373938

>>373933
>Being underweight can also cause libido problems
Huh, it might explain a lot of things for me then (I don't have questioning sexuality issues though). I'm still not going to gain weight just in the hope to make me want to have sex lmao.

No. 373948

>>373937
What you're saying anyway is that both dick and pussy excite you.

No. 373950

>>373948
Well yeah of course I know, but how’s that going to help the anons questioning? It’s a probatio diabolica, especially for the anons itt who have said they’ve never been attracted to any IRL person.

No. 373951

>>373950
Samefagging but also, I don’t feel particularly attracted to moids penises, I find them a little gross, it’s more them as a whole. Still consider myself bi.

No. 373971

>>373920
>If pussy makes your pussy feel tingly, you're sexually attracted to women. It doesn't matter if you would never date one for whatever reason etc etc.
Well, this is me… I had a boyfriend before but never felt any sort of real arousal, at most I was curious about what men looked like and found them sort of grotesquely fascinating. Whenever he initiated anything sexual it felt like a tiring larp at best and torture at worst.
But I don't see the point in claiming I'm lesbian since I'm very unlikely to actively date women due to several hangups with relationships. It's just something in my head and my actual history consists of one man.
I keep hoping that I'm actually a confused straight and just haven't "unlocked" my true feelings for men or looked at them in the right way. Why can't they be less hideous.

No. 373984

>>373920
this is a dumb take if serious. you can have physical symptoms of arousal without it meaning anything. wasn’t there a study that revealed most women, including heterosexual women, experienced physical arousal when exposed to lesbian stimuli?

No. 373991

>>373925
Uh, no. Is that seriously a thing?

No. 373996

>>373984
Yeah, but the study was in the context of showing women different kinds of porn and shit like videos of animals mating. It's been theorized in the book "Come As You Are" by Emily Nagoski that women have a higher "arousal non-concordance" than men (where our genital arousal and mental arousal doesn't always line up). IDK, take that theory as you will.

No. 374056

>>373991
Nta but yes, it’s a physiological reaction. Your vulva’s erectile tissues get engorged with blood. I personally feel it in my clit.
>>373996
Please don’t call me a troon but I’ve been around FTM/MTF spaces out of curiosity as to how hormones affect people. From what I’ve learnt, testosterone increases genital arousal, estrogen does the same to a lesser extent than testosterone does, and then progesterone increases mental arousal. The troons basically said on male hormones they were more horny in a shallow, genital specific way, whereas on female hormones they were varying amounts of horniness but psychologically (and also more full-body). Hence why fantasies and erotica are more common in women, whereas quick ways to get off are preferred by men. I’ve also read a lot of studies that measured physiological arousal in humans and the women’s subjective results always lined up less than men’s when their body was aroused. Sexuality is more mental for women.

No. 374380

>>374056
AYRT, I know what you're talking about and I agree with you because before I peaked I had friends who transed and now detransitioned friends who said they noticed the same thing. I also have PCOS and noticed that I was more "shallowly" aroused by things during puberty, but now I prefer "softer" and more erotic things now that I'm older. A lot of so-called differences in male or female sexuality is probably hormonal and/or socialized.

No. 375683

I just need to let this out. For years I kept going back and forth on the sexuality question and usually when I sought advice, people thought I was like a sort of repressed lesbian (here too although idr all my many posts across the site). I had a boyfriend one time but no sexual attraction to him or any other men, and I had a significant pattern of female fantasies but no irl experience. I usually find men pretty gross, neutral at best, that's talking strictly physically and not getting into personality or moral character.
Well last week I met a guy and basically immediately developed an embarrassing crush on him. When I talk to him it feels like I'm internally holding back a rabid creature on a leash. Idk, this is so unprecedented and abrupt, but there's no way I'm lesbian after this. It also dwarfs any attraction I've had towards women, so yeah maybe I still have more same-sex attraction than average but there's no reason to call myself bisexual when I'd be bihet at most.
I feel insane for this and just need to confide somewhere, I spent years feeling confused and unsure and then this happens. Has anyone else had something like this happen to them?

No. 375691

>>375683
It’s not the same as you but I was sure that I was straight until my mid twenties and then I got an insanely intense celebrity crush on a woman and since then my attraction to men almost totally has disappeared. I still don’t have any irl crushes though, aside from one singular boy in middle and early high school. The funny thing is that in retrospect, his facial structure and features, especially his unique nose, are identical to the celebrity crush that changed me. It was just as abrupt as you describe even though it wasn’t an irl crush like yours and it really was hard to come to terms with.
I’ve had some people say I’m probably still straight and just delusional because the crush is not irl, but I don’t really develop regular irl crushes at all for some reason and I definitely am not physically interested in men anymore. To be honest even though it’s what people always say, ive realized it’s just unrealistic to expect myself to develop an irl crush in order to “determine” my sexuality. I’m an odd and extremely introverted person with extremely specific taste (see the identical facial features weirdness above) and my heart and brain just don’t work that way. So I think I’ll have to be content with never knowing “for sure.”

No. 375693

>>375683
>so yeah maybe I still have more same-sex attraction than average but there's no reason to call myself bisexual when I'd be bihet at most.
I mean, a lot of people meme about "bihets" (I'm assuming you mean bi women who are indistinguishable from straight women lifestyle-wise), but they're still bisexual and this post still sounds like a bi woman to me.

No. 375696

>>374056
OT but do you think moids ever feel that type of full body eroticism or is it almost always a more shallow horniness for them?

No. 375731

>>375683
>female fantasies
>same-sex attraction
>has a crush on a guy
>confused and unsure because last crush was straight
>>375691
>considered herself straight
>got a gay crush on a woman
>"not physically interested in men anymore" because last crush was gay
I seriously don't want to be rude about this, but this is why I agree with the person upthread who said people who were confused about their sexuality are just bisexuals. I feel like sometimes bisexuals will have a relationship or apparently even just a crush and forget about everything that's happened to them before because the feelings are no longer strong and recent.

No. 375746

>>375731
maybe you’re right. I don’t know if you’re bisexual, but it really does screw with your sense of reality to be unattracted to one sex for a long time and then have it suddenly explode on you out of nowhere. I can’t blame other bisexuals for being confused. It still messes with my head tbh, I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to it.

No. 375770

>>375731
>I feel like sometimes bisexuals will have a relationship or apparently even just a crush and forget about everything that's happened to them before because the feelings are no longer strong and recent.
I've had moments growing up where when I had a crush on someone who basically became "the only one in the world" that I found attractive and whatnot. I'm not bi but I can see how that would mess with a bisexual's head if they have a crush on one sex who becomes "their only person" to the point of losing interest in others, but then having that change when someone else comes along.

No. 375780

>>375683
I agree with >>375731, but I also relate to a degree. I’m bi but mostly homosexual, febfem leaning, and as stupid as the split attraction theory is, pretty much exclusively romantically interested in women. not really sure why, but men are like a fun little side dish I occasionally indulge in that gets boring after a while. women don’t get boring to me, I desire intimacy and one day marriage with a woman. but last spring I had a sexual encounter with a male friend who I had kind of a weird thing for (he was a bit unobtainable, but also a loser in retrospect) that was insane. when we finally hooked up it felt like years of sexual tension being released and I truly felt like a rabid animal in heat wtf. it dwarfed any desire I had ever felt. he had such a pathetic little dick and I was practically begging him to fuck me. he was literally fat and my friends laughed when I showed them a picture. (sorry for the casual fatphobia nonnas). I have never felt like that in my life ever. then we took a shower together afterwards and scrubbed each other’s backs. it was so intimate. it scares me. what if I never find that feeling with a woman? how can I recreate it? am I doomed to need sexual gratification from men? sometimes though I feel like internalized homophobia/guilt dims my sexual attraction to women

No. 375795

>>375780
I have a simple answer: you're more sexually attracted to men than you're to women. Consciously you just prefer women because of your bias against men (can't really blame you for it tbh).

No. 375799

>>375795
Nonna please… Men are gross and ugly and I get no fulfillment from them. I hope this isn’t true because I would simply be fucked

No. 375803

>>375799
Well sorry but it's literally a case of your body not lying. At least you still genuinely like women sexually (I'm assuming). Some polbians can only wish.

No. 375812

>>375803
yes I do enjoy and crave sex with women too. but I tend to focus on their pleasure over mine because I have a hard time just receiving. I’m too self-conscious and eager to please maybe. with men, this isn’t as much of an issue, though men never make me come either. but you’re right, my body didn’t lie. I considered myself a lesbian for part of the duration of my friendship with that male friend, which is partly why he felt unobtainable. I too fell victim to the lesbian master doc propaganda, but of course I don’t consider myself a lesbian anymore. even so, there’s nothing I want more than a loving and committed relationship with a woman. in fact, I considered my childhood best friend turned ex gf turned friend my soulmate for a ridiculously long time. the mental block persisted, even though I thought she was the most attractive person on the planet. tmi but when I would masturbate she would sometimes pop into my head and I would be so overcome by emotion it brought me to tears and I had to stop. women make me crazy, honestly. I’m cursed though I guess

No. 375819

>>375812
Ntayrt but you said that sex with a tiny dicked fat man was the only time you ever felt so crazy into someone during sex after sleeping with women for a long time. It sounds like you may be forcing your attraction to women a little bit imo.

No. 375821

>>375819
but what can I do about it, if that’s the case? genuinely… Is split attraction model true after all? because I have never desired romantic partnership with men in the way that I do with women. maybe the other anon was right though, and I consciously prefer women because I despise men

No. 375828

>>375821
Yes, the other anon is right. Men are uninteresting at best and horrifying at worst personality-wise, so it’s only natural to want to hang out and form bonds with other women and not men. But this fact doesn’t really change your natural sexuality, which is why you feel that disconnect between your sexual desire and your emotional desire.

No. 375832

>>375828
I appreciate your responses, nonna. sorry for spamming this thread over my internal conflict that probably seems obvious from an outsider’s perspective. but from your perspective, do you think it’s unfair to date women if I do indeed have a sexual preference for men? I recently dating a new woman, who I really like. I’m happy with her. I look at pictures she’s sent of herself all the time to admire her beauty, I imagine how I’ll pleasure her in bed next time we see each other. I want to be with her. maybe this is internalized biphobia? Surely, even as a bi person, I can date women without needing to get sexual gratification from men… right?

No. 375835

>>375832
Yes, don't be a bislut. Even hets get into relationships with wonderful people and end up ruining them by sleeping with other people who they are more sexually attracted to. It's possible for you to find a woman who is compatible with your personality and values and who you also enjoy being intimate with, even if you're in general more sexually compatible with men. If this happens to you don't throw it away because of horniness. Same if you ever find a moid whom you like and happens to be a good person, don't throw it away because of horniness.

No. 375840

>>375832
Ntayrt but weird personal question which you don't have to answer if you don't want to. What would you say it's the sex ratio in your wet dreams? As in, are they mostly male or mostly female? Maybe about 50:50?

No. 375842

>>375840
It’s pretty even honestly, but also I have sex dreams about people I’m objectively not attracted to irl all the time. recently I’ve had a few sex dreams about my first and only real bf (I have several ex gfs fyi). sex with him was a chore, and I never found him particularly attractive. his body turned me off, even. I declared myself a lesbian after I dumped him(pls forgive me nonnies). my guy friend I discussed in my op is the true exception. I’ve never felt that rabid about any man or woman in the heat of the moment before. but I did feel very close with my ex bf—he became my best friend for a while. so I wonder if my dreams signify a craving for true intimacy and comfort that I haven’t quite achieved in my new relationship yet

No. 375847

>>375803
This is odd reasoning to me. If she encountered a desire for a woman that happened to floor all her previous sexual attractions, would this suddenly make her prefer women now? Just because the person she happened to become obsessed with was male doesn’t seem… to mean much? I am probably 80:20 attracted to women over men. The last guy I liked floored most of my attraction to people, ever, regardless of sex. Does this mean I am more sexually attracted to men? No, and now, a year later the person I like now is someone I’m just as attracted to and they’re female. OP seems to be attracted to women more often than men, sexually too. She just seems like a regular bi who happened to be sexually compatible with a specific male. It’s not much deeper than that; straight women find partners they were insanely attracted to and ones that they were barely attracted to as well. People are individuals.

No. 375849

>>375847
To me it sounds like OP dislikes men in general so she never gave them the same chances she has given women, and just so happened that she was probably ovulating when she fucked the fat dicklet and her body didn't have the same reaction to women under the same conditions.

No. 375850

>>375849
Samefag and to add to this, it's almost like her brain can subconsciously tell females and males apart hence why she fucking went into heat with the dicklet. I agree with the anon that said she's forcing her attraction to women due to her dislike of men. Not saying that shee straight but she's likely only "mostly homosexual" by choice.

No. 375853

>>375849
dying at “fat dicklet.” you’re probably right, nonna. I just hope I can get that feeling with a woman someday or I feel doomed

No. 375855

>>375853
Sorry if I keep discouraging you but also take into account that female-attracted men are nearly 50% of the population while female-attracted women are less than 5%, so the chances of you finding a woman you go crazy for sexually are low to start with compared to the males you might be as sexually compatible with like the dicklet. Still, wish you luck.

No. 375856

>>375780
This sort of story scares me so badly. I came out as a lesbian in middle school and then thought I was bisexual because I was a TRA and terminally attracted to low effort TIFs. Breaking point was when I dated a higher-effort TIF who wanted the frankendick and got a consultation without telling me. I cried for days and I thought wait, maybe I'm transphobic..? Anyways, peaked, broke up with her, and came back to my lesbian identity. I have never given men a chance, I don't even befriend men, but the idea you can ovulate and just become ravenous for some random fat man is like a horror movie plot for me. Be honest, did you ever suspect it before that? Was it really out of nowhere? I do hate men and find them conciously disgusting, I often think "thank God I'm gay," but this is precisely why I often question myself. Like am I just not giving men a chance, and tripling down because everyone keeps saying "maybe you just haven't given men a chance"? Even though I enjoy sex with women, I've never experienced some animalistic "in-heat" thing you're talking about. Very haunting.

No. 375857

>>375856
Have you ever realized that you repress sexual attraction to men or their body? (fictional also count). If not, then probably you have nothing to worry about.

Funnily enough being able to relate to the masterdoc is the easiest way to find out if you're bisexual or not. If you haven't read it then give it a try and if you don't relate you're probably safe lmao.

No. 375859

>>375856
Nta (I’m >>375847) can’t offer any advice but the “in heat” thing just happens for me when I’m extremely attracted to someone. Usually emotionally attracted to them rather than physically - it only really happens when I’ve seriously been secretly crushing on someone for a while especially if it was a friend, even more so when there’s sexual tension, so it doesn’t happen often. I feel like >>375855 is right in that it’s easier to find compatibility like this organically with men because the majority of men are attracted to women, whereas with women you have limited options, attraction usually doesn’t happen as organically (more likely to have specifically sought relationships out or subconsciously just be into them because they are bi/lesbian women) as opposed to being forced to realise an intense attraction to someone that you might rather not. The easiest comparison for me is the difference between being back at school and having crush from class being reciprocated vs having to use dating apps or actively searching to find love, situations like the former more often result in a more intense relationship, but homosexual relationships are more likely to be like the latter unless you’re pretty lucky with the people you end up meeting.

No. 375860

>>375746
ayrt and yeah, I am bisexual, and yeah, when I fall in love, I get really into that one person and don't want anyone else. but it still weirds me out when women don't seem to trust their own reality or remember that time passes and things change and people break up and start new relationships all the time. "yeah, I've dated only women until I met my husband, but I'm a lesbian with an exception!" you're attracted to women and men. you're bisexual. "I dated four men in a row, but I'm dating a woman now. I was a lesbian all along!" you're attracted to women and men. you're bisexual. "I haven't been able to fantasize about men in several months even though I liked men right up until a few months ago. I'm going through a sexual crisis! am I a lesbian now?" you like men and women. you're a bisexual. (I know some people really only come out later, and I accept that, but I mean, I know it's not ALWAYS the case because I've seen so many women 'come out as lesbian' just because they're in a relationship with a woman and then 'come out as bisexual again' when they break up and IMMEDIATELY date a man.)
kinda the same to me as the way literally every other woman I know is basically always saying "if I break up with this partner, that's it for me. I'm going to live in the woods and never date anyone again! I could never fall in love with anyone else! this is my one chance!" you're in a happy relationship and not thinking about other people. you'll move on if you break up.

No. 375863

>>375856
don’t worry nonna, I was stupid to think I was actually a lesbian. for context, I only thought I was a lesbian for a couple years in college after my first bf, and I’m in my mid-twenties now. outside of that relationship, I’ve exclusively dated women, other than in the past year in which I’ve had a few casual flings with men for sex only. the turning point for me, other than my disappointing heterosexual relationship, was of course the lesbian masterdoc. >>375857 is right kek. I think I wanted to be a lesbian because, as nonnies have pointed out, I simply don’t like men as people very much. sorry if this seems presumptuous, but I also think because I’ve usually centered relationships with women in my life over men, I have tended to relate to my lesbian friends more than the average bi woman who has had little to no same sex experience

No. 375866

>>375857
I definitely had a thing for Tumblr sexyman type characters as a teenager, but I don't know if it "counts" because I imagined them as TIFs because my TIF gfs all loved cosplaying as them. Maybe I just have brain damage. I've heard much of the infamous lesbian masterdoc, but never read through it, but now that I have skimmed, I am pretty horrified and suddenly understand why every woman who recognizes men are deficient believes she's a lesbian. Maybe I'm fine kek, but I still worry about it sometimes. I think it's because people often say, "You just think you're a lesbian because you hate men and you've never tried to give one a chance," which is honestly true, I do hate men and I've never tried to give one a chance. Well, I did date one boy when I was 10, but I broke up with him on the same day because he tried to hold my hand, so maybe I'm worrying over nothing.
>>375859
This makes a lot of sense actually, I hadn't thought of this. The most attraction I experienced was with the one organically emerging relationship I had, but she was ultimately not as attracted to women as she thought she was, so sex was…bad. I guess it is much harder to get that spontaneous, eager, pining type desire when you met on Hinge first and then did the ritual texting. This makes much more sense to me, thank you.
>>375863
I'm sorry the masterdoc memed you into thinking you were a lesbian, that sounds horrible and confusing. I don't even have any advice for you, I'm just reeling from your story still. Good luck with everything.

No. 375868

>>375866
Well if you have absolutely never repressed sexual feelings or fantasies towards men then I think you're fine. And even if someday you feel attracted to some dude it's not the end of the world. Sure it might be weird coming out as bisexual but people ultimately don't care who you're fucking. Just be happy.

No. 375921

I had a 6 year relationship with a girl when we were both teens. I've also hooked up with several women since then and during breaks (it was messy and confusing). I never showed any interest in men, to the point my family thought something was wrong with me and that I'm unhealthy.
I've now been actually interested in a guy for the first time. Sexually attracted and everything, planning to have sex with him. I've told him I'm straight though. He has questioned my "lack of experience" or why almost every friend I've had was lesbian or bi and I don't talk to them much anymore. Or why SSA women seem to show interest in me more than guys do.
I'm not really questioning, I know that I'm bi I guess. But I wonder how retarded it is to "identify" as straight. I'm moving countries, so it's not like it'll be easy for people to figure out my history. My reason for identifying as straight is because I have a history of commitment phobia and I don't seem to have that with this guy, so more likely to have a future. With women I've been a bit of a fuckgirl and I don't want to do that anymore.

No. 375927

I’m ashamed but I masturbate to pictures of vaginas. I just think they’re beautiful. I’ve never had a crush on a woman in real life so I don’t think I’m bisexual but I just like looking at pictures of vulvas because they are cute and pretty to me. Sometimes I want to draw them but that feels like crossing one coomer line too far.

No. 375931

>>375857
>being able to relate to the masterdoc is the easiest way to find out if you're bisexual
I'm bi and I've never related to this stupid pdf because of how braindead it was to me, however it might be because I knew I was bi way before I heard about it.

No. 375956

>>375931
That's the whole point, you were always able to identify that you were bi and your sexual attraction to men. Women who relate to the masterdoc repress this.

No. 375957

>>375927
>I masturbate to pictures of vaginas
>I don’t think I’m bisexual
Do people here even listen to themselves kek

No. 375958

>>375921
It's called 'knowingly telling a lie' and it's fine.

No. 375966

>>375957
kek nta but to be fair when some anons say that masturbating to women and getting aroused by women doesn't count as being truly, genuinely sexually attracted to them it does make things confusing

No. 375973

>>375966
no you’re right, there are some people itt that believe that even if you’re aroused by the female body you’re just porn brainrotted or something. but slightly attracted to men once? Straight, obviously.

No. 375977

>>375966
>>375973
These are het women projecting their disgust for female homosexuality. If you masturbate to the female body then you're attracted to it.

No. 375992

File: 1706382004254.png (7.36 KB, 610x136, 52208437-D7E4-4C98-8BCD-6EE8F2…)

>>375977
>>375973
I’m not necessarily disagreeing (because I don’t really know what my opinion is yet) but if this is true then how do you explain this stat on most popular porn categories for women? (Stolen from this post >>>/g/375899 from fetishes thread). There’s no way there’s that many ssa women in the world. And if you look at the replies, a bunch of straight women admit they like watching lesbian porn. This seems to suggest that masturbating to visuals of the female body is something most women do or have done.

No. 375994

>>375992
nta but where even are those stats from? a casual poll? a study - and if so, funded and published by who? what methods were used, etc? the het anon replies in the thread largely say they primarily consume gay male porn now, not even including the fact that lolcow users aren't representative of the general population

No. 375996

>>375994
Idk but it’s probably based on internal stats from a porn site, they have demographics on who watches what and how often.

No. 375998

>>375992
I believe that’s a survey done by pornhub or similar, so that’s not a survey of what porn all women would watch, it’s a survey of which porn women that watch porn watch, if that makes sense. My guess is women who watch porn fall into two groups: q-identified/sex-posi women, many of whom who are legitimately ssa even if you find them annoying, who still gravitate to porn with minimal obvious onscreen sexual torture; and normie women who would independently prefer erotica etc., but have a male partner who watches porn with them and would select lesbian porn as a compromise between their interests over gay porn which would be threatening to him or violent het porn which would unmask him. The latter group of women may not even realize they might be interested in gay male porn because fujodom is not mainstream the way men watching lesbian porn is. It’s interesting to think how different the stats would be if Kindle did the same poll—I would guess f/f would be far down the list just like on AO3 etc. (Also this data is almost certainly self report and therefore probably super distorted by TIMs.)

No. 376000

>>375992
Same anon as above, but actually since you said you were still making up your mind I will also mention that I personally think women who masturbate to lesbian porn are SSA. I think world historical behaviour suggests most people are bisexual but shaped by culture and circumstance in how they express or don’t express their ssa, with a smaller group 100% straight or gay. So it wouldn’t surprise me to learn that a good chunk of women are genuinely bisexual. Just pointing out that this specific data doesn’t say anything how many women are SSA in the general population.

No. 376003

>>375996
ngl i think more people are bi than society thinks there are, but i also just dont trust porn sites to not lie using statistics, much less a cropped screenshot of a sourceless chart. what length of watching counts as a "watch" and is it reporting based on viewers' sex or self-ID (in which case a bunch of TIM AGPs could skew the data)? some videos will include 'Lesbian' in the title/category tags and include a male via threesome or corrective rape scenario, etc. not to mention it's pornhub and so could've cooked its numbers, definitions, framing of its data, entire statistical report (including lies by omission) to appeal to male fantasies in the same vein of the mythical 'women's #1 fantasy is getting raped' that iirc pornhub also published

No. 376013

>>376000
I agree with this, I think that sexuality is a complex matter that’s ultimately a composite of different things and has a lot of variables that determine how it’s expressed. There was a study that showed most women were just as physically aroused by attractive women as attractive men, but self-reported that they weren’t. I think most humans (and animals in general) are “bisexual”, but whether or not they psychologically want to engage with sex with a certain gender or emotionally identify with this attraction to them is determined by other factors, some social, conditioned, or related to personality; not just their own but the projected assumptions of the recipient of their attraction. It’s sort of the difference between being sexually aroused by something from a bird’s eye view vs being able to insert your idea of yourself and “you” engaging in that act, playing the “role”, the latter of which is more mentally determined. I feel like this is a controversial tinfoil but it’s what makes the most sense to me, from my own observations and autistic psychoanalysis haha. I also have an odd amount of personal experience becoming very close intimate friends with straight women and ““turning”” the majority of them bi or lesbian by being their first female crush; I don’t believe these were latent comphets or whatever, I genuinely think it’s a matter of being able to identify with a gateway attraction to someone psychologically, and I was a person that made this easy for reasons I won’t bother going into. Anyway, this is why I think spending time wondering about labels is more frustration than necessary, sexuality is vapid and susceptible to change, just go with the flow and if you feel attracted to someone, you’re attracted to them.

No. 376015

>>376013
> There was a study that showed most women were just as physically aroused by attractive women as attractive men, but self-reported that they weren’t.
Also want to throw it out there that maybe whatever methodology they were using to say "the women were turned on, we decided this definitely. they just didn't know they were turned on or lied about being turned on" maybe this study is conducted poorly and decided there are physical traits that indicate 'arousal' when they don't really.

No. 376029

If your 2D:4D ratio is normal then your attraction to women is fabricated.

No. 376030

>>376029
I have no idea what this means. Have scientists invented a 4th dimension?

No. 376039

>>376030
Nta, but it’s digit length. The length of your fingers determine gnc/gc and attraction but it’s not a definitive measurement. Think of it like correlation like how often most tomboys or tomgirls grow up gay. Was neither a tomboy or a girly girl and turned out straight but the very masc girl I knew had a gf. Ofc there’s plenty of straight tomboys I’m just going off of my experience.

No. 376040

>>376030
High testosterone exposure in the womb makes the ring fingers grow larger than the index finger. Usually men have this trait for obvious reasons, but some research has correlated this to homosexuality in females that have it.

No. 376041

>>376029
noooo i have the long ring fingers and i'm still straight, still got the 'tism though. talk about getting the short end of the stick.

No. 376042

>>376041
>autistic
>not gay
Now you're just in denial and haven't met the right girl yet.

No. 376043

>>376029
>>376040
I'm straight and also have the gay fingers lol

No. 376061

>>376003
>>376013
ayrt, both of you are brilliant … yes, pornhub is as much selling a vision of a sexy woman who watches porn to men with this data as they are actually presenting data. I can’t envision them saying gay male porn was highest watched even if it’s true.

and re: bisexuality, I think you’re right on this birds eye view idea other anon. My weird experience that leads me to agree is that i am a lifelong febfem who is also a fujo lol. I usually masturbate to m/m fantasies that don’t involve me but the idea of being with a man irl now makes me want to puke. As a teen, before I had any real experience, I actually thought that I was more attracted to men than women because I couldn’t envision being with a woman the same way. By the time I felt ready to begin dating I exclusively dated women, all my sexual experiences have been with women and I only desire sex with women, yet I still use men in a weird sex object way in my fantasies so long as I’m not personally involved (or any woman). I think this is a bisexual specific experience but I just have the opposite of most bisexual women who have mainly had RL experiences with men and haven’t had this “gateway” open with women.

No. 376062

>>376015
Physical arousal is not the same thing as being "turned on". They weren't wrong/lying about their attraction.

No. 376076

>>376062
I've had enough of this "physical arousal vs mental arousal" cope akin to split attraction theory crap. Physical arousal is easy the biggest indicative of what you inherently find hot without the mental layers of bullshit cope each person has due to socialization. It's like when some het women need to force their attraction to their ugly ass educated husband that's a good enough of a guy despite going crazy for some naturally fit construction worker high school dropout good for nothing. Physical arousal and mental arousal go hand in hand, and those times where you only feel the physical arousal it's because you are repressing the situation since consciously there is something that you don't like. Likewise when you only feel "mental arousal" you're 100% confusing something platonic for sexual.

No. 376078

>>376076
i don't think any of this is true at all anon.

No. 376085

>>376062
Nta but how is it not? I really don’t get that explanation. I think the likelier explanation is just that even women are accustomed to seeing sexualized women used by every form of media as a symbol for the act of sex (example: female character walks into the bedroom and drops her robe to reveal lingerie, then the scene cuts, implying sex happened) so when they see a sexy woman their brain goes “oh sex is involved with this” and cues arousal but not necessarily towards the woman they’re looking at

No. 376094

>>376085
Especially when it comes to how normalized porn use is and sexual imagery in ads/music videos/etc.

No. 376098

>>376013
I for one can't relate to the "all humans are a little bi" or sexuality is a scale model. I've always been inherently a little put off by vulvas, in the same way I imagine a lesbian would feel repulsed by dick, it's just a knee-jerk reaction that feels outside of my control. Despite this I tried having sex with a couple of women in my younger experimental days, going down on them etc. and it still didn't click. That's not the same story when it comes to moids, there's always been a curiosity there, and as I grew older attractive moids made me go a little crazy. I love their bodies, the way they smell, their energy etc., it comes very easy and instinctively. Maybe I am just a rare superstraight because I like looking at dicks and it seems like a lot of women on lolcow don't despite saying they are moid attracted. I don't watch lesbian porn, but I imagine some of the women who become aroused by same sex porn use the woman they are seeing as a proxy for themselves like some anons suggested.

I've had friend crushes on girls in the sense that I really vibe with someone and obsess a little bit, it feels similar to that new relationship energy, but when I think about having sex with them I'm just not into it. At the end of the day I agree it doesn't matter though whether someone is bi or straight, except to that person. Maybe even I will one day find that one woman hot enough to turn me bi and I will love her genitals, that would be fun, although I can't really imagine it happening.

No. 376113

>>376076
Yeah sure. I've had that "twinge" from a stock image of a disembodied female hand chopping vegetables, despite feeling nothing at all mentally. Don't tell me that makes me a repressed bisexual.

No. 376118

>>376076
>>376113
I think what studies like the infamous "all women are bi" actually showed, is that women are more aroused by sexual context. Males will see a titty and go oogabooga, whereas women might see two women embracing and fondling each other and find that arousing, despite their sexual orientation. In one such study women also became aroused viewing primates doing saucy things, but that doesn't mean all women are a little sexually attracted to primates.

It's theorized women evolved this way as a preventative measure. Basically sexual context is important to us in order to avoid injury. Like >>376113 I have also sometimes experienced genital arousal from viewing things like depictions of a car accident, or been "aroused" as an acute fear response, but that doesn't mean I was turned on lol.

No. 376124

>>376118
You were turned on by all of those things you describe you're just in denial about it because consciously you don't like the situation. It's the "I fuck men but I'm a lesbian" mental gymnastics and cope all over again. You all overly complicate things in your mind.(baiting/infighting)

No. 376125

>>376124
You are sexually attracted to bonobo monkeys. Sorry, I don't make the rules.

No. 376126

>>376124
so she doesn't like the situation, but also she does? which one is it? sounds like you're the one overcomplicating.

No. 376128

I think I'm either bi with a female preference, or asexual. Or damaged and incapable of real love? Everyone I've dated has always felt so strongly towards me and I never felt like I related to their declarations of love, at most it was "I really enjoy spending time with you." I've mostly dated men, but I was always embarrassed to be lovey-dovey with them. I hate hate hated telling people "I have a boyfriend" just the word was so embarrassing and almost shameful to me. I can never picture my future with a man. It took a lot of mental preparation to enjoy sex, basically a conscious effort to dissociate the act from the person and just focus on the physical sensations. I've been thinking a lot about women lately, but maybe it's wishful thinking and just hoping that's what the issue was. I have dated girls before as a teenager, but I didn't feel much for them either, same with the boys and men I've dated. I do find women much more attractive than men. Just last night my friends were gushing about male celebrities that yes, are all conventionally attractive, but look like nothing to me. The female lead in the movie we were watching was gorgeous, and sexy if I'm being honest but I feel weird and male using words like that to describe women. Women are so beautiful I'd feel too self-conscious dating one, meanwhile men honestly have low standards. Idk, I'm probably just damaged and afraid of intimacy.

No. 376135

>>376124
>You were turned on by all of those things you describe
I'm not confused about my sexuality and not in the habit of watching lesbian porn. Just replying to a topic I find interesting.

Going by a clinical definition I was aroused, as in I experienced a parasympathetic reaction to something revolting causing increased blood flow to my genitals, but as someone who experiences sexual attraction I can tell the difference between being horny and repulsed kek.

No. 376182

>>376098
>I for one can't relate to "all humans are a little bi". I've always been inherently a little put off by vulvas
I get that, but the really fucked up thing that keeps me up at night is that even this is subject to change. I would have said the same thing as you two years ago, my whole friend group was gay throughout school and I even tried to get myself into women and pussy to fit in, but just couldn’t do it because I was grossed out. But then randomly many years later I got a crush on a really handsome elegant woman and for the following year I’d masturbate to exhaustion every night of week thinking about having sex with her. Ever since then, I started thinking vaginas are beautiful, I even daydream about them when I’m feeling pent up. Conversely, like you I used to LOVE looking at dick, thought it was so sexy, but ever since what I just described I cannot find them appealing to save my life and they just look goofy and unsexy to me.

I know this is not a common experience at all but the fact that it can happen at all confuses the shit out of me because it runs counter to “born this way” theory that most people (and even myself, previously) believe in. Like how is this possible? Like I said, it keeps me up at night and has caused me to develop somewhat incapacitating sexuality-based OCD which is miserable.

No. 376186

>>376182
Fwiw this has been me too at various points and I am simply bisexual. Crush or relationship = this person's everything is perfect = can't even think about anyone else's equivalent ever measuring up.

No. 376189

>>376186
Ayrt, yeah, but other than that crush being the “trigger” for the change, it doesn’t seem linked to individual people. Like I didn’t have crushes on anyone in particular in my school days and yet I still was only into dick and though vagina was offputting. And now the reverse, even though I don’t have a current crush. You know?

No. 376196

How do you differentiate between an intense platonic interest in someone and a sexual one? Someone here mentioned that she doesn't want to fuck her female friends but is that something you feel as repulsion or can it be something else like indifference? Because when I think of having sex with my female friends most of the time I just feel indifference but sometimes when I'm super horny I can find it hot.

No. 376198

>>376196
When you’re sexually interested in someone you actively want to fuck them. Indifference isn’t sexual attraction.

No. 376234

>>376196
You’re going to get different ideas on this from women with spontaneous vs responsive sex drives. As an ssa woman with a responsive sex drive who only wants sex with strong emotional connection, I consider intense undifferentiated personal interest a “first step” in my sexual interest. I usually only find myself actively fantasizing about someone when it feels safe, like if she expresses interest in me, and I’m only turned on by being around her/talking with her if we have already been very touchy or had sex. Sometimes in the first stage, I can tell the difference because being touched by her feels very shocking or I’m a little afraid for her to touch me, etc.

No. 376260

hi nonnies. im still sorta a newfag and have only lurked thus far. sorry if this is too long, im usually on snow and dont know if this counts as a "blogpost" here or if i need to sage this? pls forgive me. Ive always known i was attracted to men, had 1 boyfriend so far in 18 years and liked physical contact, kissing, hugging etc. but penises genuinely fucking disgust me. like make me sick. the idea of a man going down on me is.. not the most appealing. i think i just view men as very gross, mean, and objectifying. but i still want SOME to hold me against a wall and makeout with me. when it comes to women ive had WAY less crushes on them, and it might be partially because i just feel no attraction to straight women or "bi" girls that only date ugly racist white guys. i would love a girl to go down on me, and although i think id be really nervous and scared to do it to another girl i still totally would if i loved her. women are soft and theyre so kind and warm. ive never been with another woman in a romantic relationship but ive kissed a lot of girls. spin the bottle at like, 9 with a group of ~14 year old girls teaching me to "makeout" should've been my awakening, right? but honestly i was too young and mostly just confused and thought it was weird how kissing felt. it also was a bit.. weird due to the big age gap and how most of them were straight? but anyways i dont care about labels, or at least i dont want to care. i guess i just feel stupid. i dont think im a lesbian, i definitely find men attractive and would like them to hold my hand and kiss me but… i cant be attracted to a man sexually. i like women romantically and sexually though. what.. am i? i just feel lost i guess. and weirdly emotional about it all. growing up i was called a lesbian a LOT for being more tomboy or masculine and my nickname being a stereotypical mans name. that made me furious to be labeled without permission. when other kids decided what i was before i had a chance. so i never explored that side of myself since i just didnt want to listen to them, i guess. maybe im just a bisexual with weird shit going on. people are complex and maybe its dumb to expect other randoms to know whats going on in my head by some long winded post on an image forum. sorry again if i fucked up, nonnies. i appreciate anyone who read this convoluted tale.

No. 376269

>>376260
Stop stressing. Accept how you feel even if it's contradictory sometimes, it's the way things are and you don't have to "find your true label" or whatever and push yourself towards it. Just live in the moment. You're super young, you're supposed to be confused kek.

No. 376271

>>376260
>i definitely find men attractive
>i like women romantically and sexually

Baby, sounds like you’re bisexual to me. That doesn’t mean you ever have to have sex with a man. There are straight women who are repulsed by sex as well and just remain celibate. Bi women have this feeling that if our attraction to women is stronger or different it must mean something else is going on because society tells us bi women aren’t “really” attracted to women or always prefer men. You can be bisexual, have a strong female preference, and exclusively date women for the rest of your life. Persistent confusion about your sexual orientation is a bisexual experience in and of itself imo because of how poorly everyone understands bisexuality, if our experiences don’t match what we see people talking about we overcomplicate things.

No. 376274

>>376234
I just googled about spontaneous vs responsive sex drives and it was really interesting. Sounds like I have spontaneous drive and that is why is it sometimes hard to relate to other women talking about their sex drive. Maybe because responsive is more common for women? Could it even be that some bi women have one for one sex and one for the other? Anyway thanks for the info nona.

No. 376278

>>376274
Ayrt, glad it helped. Responsive is definitely more common among women (come as you are by Emily nagoski is interesting to read on this) I’m always surprised people don’t discuss it more when it comes to determining your sexuality because the experiences are really different. People obviously experience different types at different times but might have strong leanings one way or another. Tbh, because men tend to be more spontaneous I sometimes think the whole mainstream model of what “sexual attraction” even is relies on that experience, so it can be really confusing for women to figure out who we are sexually attracted to if we rarely experience spontaneous sexual attraction or if our attraction is rooted very powerfully in emotional intimacy like for me. Of course then at the same time it will be tough for women like you as well who have the opposite leaning and might feel alienated from other women! “Come as you are” prominently features an example het couple where the woman has strong spontaneous attraction so you might find it interesting

No. 376395

>>376278
>Tbh, because men tend to be more spontaneous I sometimes think the whole mainstream model of what “sexual attraction” even is relies on that experience, so it can be really confusing for women to figure out who we are sexually attracted to if we rarely experience spontaneous sexual attraction or if our attraction is rooted very powerfully in emotional intimacy like for me.
very interesting theory, thanks for sharing

No. 376430

>>376278
My attraction functions under a spontaneous drive. That is, I get instantly piqued by men, particularly as I age. In my younger years and even now, women were these uninteresting strange clique of weirdos that baffle me. Men go crazy over their tits while lesbians wanna eat pussy after a few dates. Tits are fine. even kid me would agree. But the idea of eating pussy sounded gross despite liking the idea of men eating them.Could be because of my headspace, but personally, never will or get women. There was one instance where one caught my eye, but looking back, it may have been because she resembled a man to such an extent that my brain perceived her as such. My lesbian dreams continue to puzzle me, although upon reflection, not all of them were overtly sexual. The most I received was a kiss. That's it.

No. 376438

I don't know which thread to put this in. I'm straight (ish?) but have a hard time relating to other straight women because I don't have real life crushes, don't feel anything for male bodies even if it's conventional and think dicks are disgusting. I only feel attracted to fictional males if I like the personality (without knowing details I feel nothing) and two aidens in the past. The ideal relationship to me should be someone who doesn't look male nor female and doesn't have a dick, but without being a troon. I suppose I could be attracted to a man in these very specific circumstances and if he has a very specific appearance but wouldn't touch one. I think I'd like to beard for some gay guy so he can go off and fuck whatever while I stay home.

What's throwing me off and confusing me, is that everyone I know irl even during childhood keeps thinking I'm gay and this is without knowing about the info I typed here. There was also one time I accidentally attracted a lesbian classmate. Is there something they're picking up on that I'm not noticing, like do I have some sort of "vibe"? I don't dress in a way that could be mistaken for that either. I don't really know what I'm asking here tbh. Like can you be straight but not straight seeming, or are their assumptions actually correct

No. 376516

How do you even find women to date? I want to try dating women or going on dates but how can I even find a woman that likes other women?

No. 376523

Ever feel like you gaslight yourself into finding women attractive?

No. 376527

>>376516
my ex gfs were from 1. school 2. school 3. tinder. if you’re not in school still, it can be hard to meet women organically I’m afraid

No. 376687

>>376438
people just assume that people who don't date or show interest in dating are hiding gayness from them. this applies to straight people who are too shy to date or too unattractive to get a date too.

No. 377121

I keep having dreams about having sex with women. I've had these dreams since I was a preteen but figured dreams are just dreams and can mean anything, though I've never dreamed of having sex with men. I have always been super embarrassed to say I have a boyfriend and to talk about them, even when on paper they are very nice and the relationship is "good." I'm too awkward to date a woman though, I feel like their standards are higher lol.

No. 377127

>>377121
It's a dream, it doesn't indicate that much. If you fixate on an idea, you may dream about it. And some sex dreams are symbolic. So don't worry.

No. 377226

>>377121
The other anon is retarded. If you keep having sex dreams with women and they are enjoyable and you get super horny then there is almost a 100% chance you feel sexually attracted to women.

No. 377270

I have a thing exclusively for cross dressing women. I like when they try to flatten their chests but you can still tell it's a woman's torso with a tiny bit of a bulge where her breasts are being compressed, and seeing that under a nice suit, or a tie, or a button-down, even in a cozy sweater it's cute. I've exclusively fantasied about only this for 1.5 years now. This fixation is autistic in its strength and I almost wish I was autistic because at least I'd have an answer for why I'm like this. I'm not attracted to non-cross-dressing women for some reason, even though in my fantasies about cross dressing women I still fantasize about undressing them and obviously they look like women underneath, so it makes no sense I'm not attracted to regular women.
When I was 13 I had a crush on a (non-medically transitioned) TIF in my class, I wonder if this was an early warning sign. I used to be into men but after I developed this fixation I don't care about them anymore because they're not nearly as attractive to me as a tall, graceful, cross dressing woman.

No. 377272

File: 1707024720963.jpeg (39.49 KB, 640x544, IMG_0310.jpeg)


No. 377276

>>377272
can you keep your twitter reaction images to yourself if you have nothing to add?

No. 377277

>>377276
you're just upset because you're into enbies(infighting/baiting)

No. 377278

>>377276
this is an image board but ok

No. 377297

>>377270
I'm the same way, still haven't figured out what sexuality this is tho. I don't get why the other replies are making such a big deal, several anons have admitted to finding tifs and enbies attractive before. Most of those gendies would've probably been regular butch or androgynous women a few decades ago.

No. 377314

>>377270
>>377297
It's nice to know there are women who are into the dress up aspect of it. I love dressing in fancy male clothes (suits especially) but I'm not interested in larping as a male or trooning out. I hope I'll find a gf like you one day.

No. 377357

>>377314
Kek same, all these confused anons are honestly doing wonders for my self-esteem as an androgynous woman, I didn’t know so many people would be into it. I don’t bind though, just flat-chested unfortunately.

No. 377389

>>377270
If you only like women when they bind their breasts and dress like men, that just sounds like you’re not really into women. It’s one thing to have a thing for that, and another to say you aren’t attracted to women unless they are presenting themselves like men.

No. 377399

>>377297
>what sexuality this is tho
Lesbian or bi.

No. 377400

>>377399
How is it being lesbian or bi if anons only like women when they’re binding and dressing as men? If a woman has to be in a disguise for all intents and purposes before anons feel attraction, that doesn’t sound like real attraction to women to me.

No. 377403

>>377400
Yeah but people are not their clothes, the important part is that it's a woman underneath. Duh. The rest is just mind games.

No. 377404

>>377400
Anons in this thread are so weird about shit like this. The whole reason we believe TiFs are women is because their chromosomes are XX and they have vaginas. Acting like being attracted to women in clothes that are associated with a certain gender - even though things like suits and pants are biologically completely unrelated to sex - acting like that is heterosexuality just sounds like validating gendieshit to me. So, what, if you don’t think she’s bisexual or lesbian, what do you think she is then? The only other option is straight. Even though she just said she’s no longer attracted to men. Stop being retarded.

Personally nona I don’t know if it’s even worth looking for a label at that point, you have a very narrow preference. I’m also the same (I have less interest in men now that I prefer TiFs and butches) but I also like regular women (and the rare occasional moid) although I’m also pretty picky. Are you still attracted to some men? If you are I’d say you’re still technically bi. I think you should just let yourself like what you like, if all is confusing “not-straight” or “unsure” are completely fine things to settle on.

No. 377407

>>377404
(ntayrt) yeah, agree basically. It doesn't even make sense that being attracted to a woman in a suit makes you straight. Like, what the actual fuck kinda logic is that? Flip it and try to claim a man who wants to take a dress and tights off another man and especially unwrapping his tucked cock and balls sounds like the guy is straight. Get real.

No. 377409

>>377400
She said she specifically thinks it's hot BECAUSE they are still women. Lusting after women's breasts and fantasizing about seeing them naked is not heterosexual behavior at all.
>>377270
You're probably bi. I've heard that bi people can have strong "cycles" where they prefer one sex strongly before switching. It's also possible that TIFs represent a "safe" way to explore your attraction to women, or perhaps it's the taboo/forbidden element of unveiling her vulnerability. Ultimately, you're attracted to women, and it sounds like you used to be attracted to men, which sounds bisexual to me.

No. 377443

>>377400
Lol the other anons trying to gaslight you, but you're right. Every woman i knew who only chased after those women was straight, bicurious or bisexual. Hell even the original poster here admits they are not attracted to regular women and only find women who look like men hot. How the hell is that lesbian?? Some anons here retarded or they are probably straight bicurious women themselves. Calling themselves bi and lesbian as a way to feel special because their lives are boring, uneventful and sad.

No. 377455

>>377443
>Calling themselves bi and lesbian as a way to feel special because their lives are boring, uneventful and sad.
Oh hi mom. I didn't know you posted on lolcow

No. 377456

>>377455
NTA but it’s true. A lot of straight women who hate moids don’t want to accept that they’re straight and so they try to meme themselves into being into women like the anons above who require a woman to wear a man-costume so they can pretend they’re feeling attraction to a woman and therefore not doomed to straightness.

No. 377457

>>377443
So you’re basically saying that women who are attracted to TiFs are straight. Just like how woke “lesbians” who are attracted to TiMs call themselves gay.

No. 377460

>>377443
Nta but TIFs never look like real moids anyway, and when the OP said she was into cross dressing women I'm assuming she was talking about women looking androgynous and trannymaxxing weirdos like Buck Angel.

No. 377488

File: 1707103078251.jpg (39.99 KB, 513x640, 29257550_1074449922716196_4662…)

>>377460
Why are you talking on behalf of OP when OP stated themselves that they are a straight woman only attracted to cross-dressers. You are really grasping for straws and proving me and that other anons point. Also i don't give a fuck about your trannies that live rent free in your head loser. It doesnt change my view or observation on most of these being hetero straight women.

No. 377490

>>377488
she was just making an assumption, chill out, jfc. Also I'm OP and I never "stated myself that I'm a straight woman", if i knew that then I wouldn't be posting here confused. Also wtf is the random instathot pic doing here?

No. 377492

>>377490
>Also wtf is the random instathot pic doing here?

Use your brain OP.

No. 377493

>>377490
>instathot picture
Wdym anon? those are your fellow chasers anon, just like you.(doubleposting infighting retard)

No. 377503

>>377501
Jesus Christ posts like this make me agree with misogynists.(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 377505

>>377456
does this also apply to men who fuck TIMs?

No. 377506

>>377456
A woman sexually fantasizing about other women is not heterosexual. She fantasizes about women's breasts, this isn't rocket science. If a "straight" man said he sexually fantasizes about pre-op TIM balls, would you really agree he's straight? Or is it only women who have to meet a different standard? I don't think she's a lesbian, but she's definitely not straight.

No. 377508

>>377506
I’m genuinely confused about your interpretation of that OP post. The anon said she was attracted to women when they bind their chest, specifically. How is being attracted to the lack of breasts = “fantasized about women’s breasts”? If anything, that’s the exact opposite of fantasizing about women’s breasts.

No. 377510

>>377508
>but you can still tell it's a woman's torso with a tiny bit of a bulge where her breasts are
>I still fantasize about undressing them and obviously they look like women underneath
She seems into the taboo (seeing something meant to be concealed) and the contrast of female masculinity. She's specifically fantasizing about titty bulge being unleashed in front of her behind closed doors. I stand by my original statement, if a man ever said something similar about TIMs, everyone would call him a faggot. Wanting to be sexually intimate with women when you are a woman, regardless of how she dresses or looks, is simply not heterosexual behavior.

No. 377529

>>377357
Yeah, I don't bind either, I just wear a sports bra so that my breasts won't stand out. I'm actually happy to be naturally flat-chested, makes dressing up easier since binding is not really good for you anyway.

No. 377532

>>377270
Here's a down to earth reply since this thread is a mess : you are probably bi with a strong fetish. That is all.

The sex you are attracted to is what defines your sexuality. When you have a non-sexual thing that turn you on so much you need it to experience attraction/arousal it's a fetish. Doesn't mean it's bad, but it's technically one.

No. 377548

>>377532
Ayrt, I guess it is a fetish. But if it’s a fetish, how do I get rid of it? And why do I have it (seemingly since I was 13?) I really don’t want to accept that I’m stuck this way for life. I want to be normal. But pretty much nothing else turns me on.

No. 377571

Wtf how is anon straight or bi for exclusively being into women who dresses masculine? Am I lesbian then bc I like men with long hair and makeup??? I thought clothes=/=sex.

No. 377581

>>377571
Would you still be attracted to a man like that if you were with him and he stopped dressing that way? If the answer is yes, it’s not a fetish and you’re straight, if no, then it’s a fetish.

No. 377604

>>377270
It's not a fetish and you're not bi if you're not attracted to men. It's normal to be attracted to masculine women many lesbians do. A crossdressing woman is still a woman.So many retards in this thread. Do they also believe that trannies turn into women once they smear make up on their ugly faces?

No. 377619

>>377604
She said she used to be into men, which makes me hesitate to say she's for sure a lesbian. But being into GNC women is very common with bi women and lesbians, either way she is obviously SSA.

No. 377745

>>377581
>Anything unconventional a woman likes is a fetish
No one would ever call a man who just liked long hair on women a fetishist, but the second a woman have preferences she is a deviant.

No. 377843

>>377745
That's not what the post said. It said if your attraction is 100% hinged on styling and evaporates under different styling, it's a fetish for that styling.

No. 377848

>>377843
So women who are just into butches just have a fetish and arent lesbians? You're using troon logic, that suddenly putting on makeup or wearing pants changes ones sex

No. 377960

>>377848
crossdressing is a fetish. let it go.

No. 377983

>>377960
I agree. Plus cross dressing is different from just being butch, anyway. a moid only into men when they cross dress as sissy bimbos definitely has a fetish, and it’s the same when reversed.

No. 377984

>>377960
She is still a lesbian even if she only likes women who crossdresses? How is a woman who exclusively likes women straight, just bc she likes women wearing pants?

No. 377994

>>377984
Nah I didn't say that she's not lesbian (or bi maybe, but she said she lost interest in men so I don't know). She's attracted to women clearly, which is not straight lol. Maybe you got confused with the chain of replies, I was never trying to say it's straight that would be crazy

No. 378000

>>377745
Moids who can ONLY be attracted to women with long hair ARE long hair fetishists, though. It is central to their sexual attraction and has a strong erotic value by itself - it is very definitely a fetish. It's as old as time and the most widespread, with an entire history's worth of text and artworks to prove it. The world being shaped by men's fetishes is just considered normal (and in fact women who fetishize long hair on men are considered deviant by the very men that lose their minds over muh pixie cuts ruining female beauty). Bi scrotes have fetishized male crossdressers and tried to pass it off as "actually straight and normal" for ages too, as we know.

Again a fetish doesn't have to be bad/deviant/immoral, I don't think anon is either of these things.

>>377548
Honestly I don't think you'll ever get fully rid of it and you should probably just roll with it. You got it "organically" it's not like you got poisoned by porn or something like that.

No. 378115

>>378000
Am I insane or is that not what a fetish is? A well known fetish is foot fetish which I thought was specific sexual arousal to the sight of feet, not attraction to anybody WITH feet. How can liking long hair be a fetish if you aren’t sexually attracted to the hair? Surely it’s just a preference?

No. 378128

>>378115
So you wouldn’t say a man into cross dressing men has a fetish?

No. 378131

>>378128
nayrt liking long hair and erotic transvestism are not the same kek get real

No. 378208

Is it gay if you secretly tried to sneak glances at other girl’s breasts in locker rooms as a tween and wished you could get a better look? Or did everyone do that and it’s just natural curiosity?

No. 378209

>>378208
This sounds average for a straight female, society makes a big deal of boobs and tweens are naturally interested in puberty changes

No. 378232

>>378208
I don't think it has anything to do with sexual orientation, I had a late puberty and during middle school I did this with every girls and women I came across out of envy kek, I stopped doing it as soon as I got my periods.

No. 378236

>>378209
Idk, I'm a straight woman and never had an urge to look how the breasts of other girls grew. Seems gross to me. Could be curiosity but certainly not an universal experience.

No. 378270

>>378209
>>378232
>>378236
Hm, okay… it seems like consensus is mixed… my follow up question (or confession) is that the first thing I remember masturbating to was a gif that got posted on a meme page I used to visit as a kid of a woman’s naked breasts jiggling. I remember not understanding why I was doing it but not being able to stop myself. Is a fascination with breasts at that age maybe just due to some residual memory of sucking or something? Kek. Because it went away eventually as a got older, but as a kid and tween I think I actually was sexually aroused by breasts.

No. 378277

I’m having a hard time believing that I’m bisexual for two reasons:
>1) it came out of nowhere only recently, I was sure I was straight for my whole adulthood
>2) I’ve been looking up the stats of busexuality in the female population and its estimated at only around 1% of all women. I just keep feeling like it’s so rare, there’s no way it could be me. The odds are so low, and why me? After being straight for so long?
It just doesn’t make sense to my brain and I can’t wrap my mind around it so I keep telling myself I’m straight even though I’ve literally masturbated only to the thought of women (one in particular…) for more than a year now and haven’t even thought about a man since then. And that’s just not straight. But I can’t make myself believe it.
I live my life having gay thoughts and then immediately telling myself “okay but make sure to remember you’re just straight and confused though, you retard.”

No. 378279

>>378277
Samefagging, but ever since i had my awakening, it’s like my entire mentality and view of the world switched. Now instead of looking in the mirror and asking myself if I look “pretty” the way I’ve styled myself (always no, kek) I am instinctively asking myself instead if I look handsome or cool (still no, because I was born ugly, but you get the point).
I tried explaining this to the therapist I briefly started seeing for this problem, and she just said I sounded like one of her male tranny clients, which made me feel horrible. I don’t see her anymore because she was a really bad therapist and I realized there’s just no way for me to afford therapy, but I think I really need it because I don’t seem to be able to come to terms with this by myself.

No. 378286

>>378277
I sincerely doubt only 1% of the population is bisexual. nonnas may hate me for using this term, but I think for a good percentage of the population, our sexuality is somewhat “fluid.” by that, I mean a lot of people are naturally bisexual, but it depends on cultural contexts and circumstances for if they’ll actually be bisexual in behavior. bisexuality is pro-social behavior and has evolutionary advantages, as demonstrated by the fact that every mammal species on earth displays bisexual/homosexual behavior. this isn’t to say that there aren’t some people on either sides of the spectrum that are 100% gay or 100% straight, but I think many people fall somewhere in between. in historical societies where bisexuality was more normalized, way more than 1% of the population was bi.

sorry for the sperging kek but don’t overthink it so much. it’s perfectly normal to be bi, even if you haven’t been thinking about having sex with women your whole life or if you generally prefer men

No. 378330

>>378277
I mean I think no matter what's going on, you're clearly horny as fuck for that one girl and should date or sleep with her at any opportunity. no need to overthink it

No. 378459

>>378458
You sound extremely sheltered and inexperienced with love and dating. The cure for shame related to sex and relationships is to have meaningful and positive experiences with them so they are a source of joy instead of a source of 4chan-related (?) humiliation. Go date, or at least make friends.

No. 378460

File: 1707578227039.jpg (20.59 KB, 474x474, 8ffdc7854d78e87260a1f1f964a752…)


No. 378465

>>378461
I understand that you believe that but I would still recommend forming some positive relationships with other humans that can make your life better

No. 378468

>>378466
My genuine opinion is "idk" because people who spend time on the most antisocial corners of the internet at the expense of gaining real world experiences get strange, distorted thought patterns and behaviors and can't really develop a realistic image of the world and themselves as a result. Speaking from experience. It hurts to let go of fucked up blackpilled thinking patterns because it feels vulnerable but it's the only way to move forward (by which I mean: well-adjusted women can say "I know like [men/women] because I'm attracted to them and I like sex with them and I love my [bf/gf]!" and you would have to be extremely out of touch with your body and mind to instead use disembodied metrics like "homosexuality is statistically rare" to determine very obvious things about your own feelings).

No. 378476

File: 1707586909487.jpg (18.55 KB, 303x239, 877.jpg)

>>378458
>I look feminine and neotenous and have small hands, I look completely straight. Why would I be gay?
I can't believe you're a real person this reads like parody

No. 378481

>>378478
never heard of femme lesbians, passing straight gays, or the dozens of straight women with gay finger lengths eh

No. 378484

>>378482
Absolutely not true kek. Femme lesbians and normie looking women are extremely common amongst the lesbian demographic. They have normal hands, even. If anything, butch lesbians are rarer. Stop falling for the "lesbians are less female than straight women" tranny logic. People think you're baiting because what you're saying is disconnected from reality and can only be the result of terminal 4chan exposure. You should probably spend more time around normal people and eventually you will be able to tell if your feelings are organic or not.

No. 378499

File: 1707596212577.jpeg (698.23 KB, 828x1235, IMG_0367.jpeg)

>>378488
please get off of 4chan and interact with women irl. it has been rotting your brain, and you talk like a moid

lesbians come in all shapes and sizes. take a look at these wedding photos if you want to see some examples of what lesbians look like: https://www.brides.com/gallery/same-sex-gay-wedding-photos

No. 378500

i think i’m bisexual and i get this weird anxiety surrounding it when i think about my attraction to women or see a woman i find attractive. it almost feels like guilt for being into women and not just men which is so weird. i’m not raised in a religious or conservative environment and i’ve never been homophobic. i don’t think it’s wrong to be into the same sex and have never thought so, so where’s this absurd anxiety coming from?

i’ve never been with a woman before but ive talked about my attraction to women with my bisexual friend who leans heavily towards her attraction to women compared to men, she said i should try meeting a girl. i’m on a dating app now and so many girls are so gorgeous. i feel really nervous, much more nervous than when i match with men. which is also weird because im terrified of men irl and a billion times more comfortable with women.

why is me possibly being bisexual making me anxious and panicking

No. 378513

>>378500
1) on a personal level, you have the insecurity of an inexperienced virgin who has probably heard a lifetime of jokes about how hard it is to please women and find the clit and lesbian bed death and how catty or shallow women are and it's intimidating. 2) on a social level, you yourself don't need to be consciously homophobic to have a basic awareness of the world we live in and the fact that even in the gayest and most accepting part of whatever country you're in, actually being in a same sex relationship is weird and different and it makes you a minority and people are going to look at you differently.

No. 378592

Why did my post get deleted? I was not baiting…

No. 378607

can one develop a fetish for men? asking for a friend.

No. 378609

>>378607
That's just heterosexuality…

No. 378611

>>378607
>>378609
Average questioning sexuality thread poster

No. 378615

>>378611
If you question your sexuality it's clear that you're lowQ so posts like those don't really surprise me at all.(bait)

No. 378620

>>378607
Popular well documented pariphilia known as being straight

No. 378972

>>378607
That's just your latent bisexuality waking up. Happened to me but the reverse. Fucking weird as hell to go through. Hope you're doing okay.

No. 379387

All of my early crushes and sexual experiences were with women, but my first serious relationship was with a man. Since then, I've only dated or had sex with men, but I can never relax during sex or get aroused at the sight of them. This eventually leads to a break up, because I feel uncomfortable knowing I've had sex with a man. All men disgust me in a way I can't explain; I can talk to them and have a pleasant conversation, even flirt a little, but I can't fall in love or truly find them charming or interesting.
I don't know what's wrong with me. I want to date a guy, or love one, or at least fuck one and have an orgasm; but I can't.
I want to date women but I'm terrified of it. I don't know how to flirt properly, or how to approach one without feeling like a creepy moid.
Am I bisexual? Straight? Can I fix myself?

No. 379404

I'm pretty sure I'm Bi but I'm rapidly losing interest and attraction to males. the ones nowadays do nothing for me physically, even the ones who women consider handsome. It's pretty rare for me to feel actually physical attraction to a man, but with women I feel it all the time. I've only ever had that crush experience with one male irl, (he was a piece of shit in the end of), the rest I just dated because they heavily pursued me.

No. 380978

>>379404
I’m like this too, I also prefer passing TiFs to men. I just think males tend to be uglier, straight women are conditioned to be veryyy lenient to the point celebrated men are still ugly. It’s normal to not be attracted to them frequently.

No. 381622

Honestly how much do 2d preferences etc matter to irl sexuality?

I know I like women, never even questioned it, however, with men I only like the fictional ones. And by like I mean I want to hang out with them, smush their face and stuff, not fuck them. But it's been making me feel insecure and afraid I might see a man irl and think the same about him. The chances are ultra slim but still.

No. 381627

I realized I have zero libido 99% of the time because I've never been physically attracted to anybody so far (only fictional characters), I'm either extremely picky or regularly autistic.

No. 381628

>>381622
I wonder this too. I almost see 2d men as a whole different species and when they behave like real men I feel betrayed and it breaks my immersion. So I assume it has nothing to do with my real life preferences, but it does make me wonder.

No. 381733

>>381622
I like both 2d and RL men. but in sex fantasies, it's mostly 2d or made up because my repressed ass is too scared to fuck real guys.

No. 381736

is it okay to ask for advice in this thread nonnas?
i have known for a long time that i am attracted to women but have always had such a hard time connecting with them platonically that i've never bothered pursuing them romantically because, well, i know how to flirt with men and feel more confident that i'm not coming off weird

but i've been flirting with a girl that i keep running into at house shows and it has been going pretty well i think but then i found out that she is 19 (!!!) and i am 29 and i feel like i have to back off, right?? like if i was a moid i would be a predator if i pursued her imo, but some of my fruity friends have been trying to say it's not that bad bc we're both women and i am not ill-intentioned and like… idk about that, i think they just want me to be fruitier and are ignoring the ethical concerns. this girl is so sweet and so cute and seems to be pretty into me but she is A GIRL!!! she is functionally a child! she graduated high school LAST YEAR and i graduated A DECADE AGO, like i don't think that i can morally pursue someone so young but i really don't know if the standards are different in gay relationships. i'm sorry if this sounds beyond retarded and ignorant, i just worry that my friends aren't being very good friends right now because they want me to come to terms with my sexuality more than they want me to be a good person

No. 381738

>>381736
>>381736
A lot of people, probably all younger than us, are going to say it's all fine and that she's an adult and blah blah blah. But I understand it, this wouldn't sit right with me either. My comfort zone is mid 20's. A 19 year old and a 29 year old have very little common in reality. Even if other people say it's completely ethical and ok, stay within your own personal boundaries

No. 381773

>>381736
When I was 29 I didn't bother with anyone younger than mid-20s. Not all age differences are bad IMO, but a decade is iffy regardless if its gay or straight. A teenager doesn't have much life experience in common with someone almost 30. You're right to stop pursuing her.

No. 381798

>>381736
I wouldn't date someone this young either, 5 years younger or older is my limit but ymmv of course.

No. 381801

I've been afraid to ask, but is it possible for misandry to change your sexuality? I 'used to' be bisexual, never had a partner btw. I realized how fucking deplorable 99.99999% of scrotes were and now I can't imagine myself being with a man for the rest of my life. I don't want to have penetrative sex with a moid because it's violating, but I don't want cunnilingus or anything like that. I just don't want any male to get off on me or touch me. However I am sexually aroused by the idea of dying scrotes, a dead scrote, or a scrote being raped. So I do feel sexual attraction towards both sexes but in different ways. I can see a future with a woman and am not disgusted by the idea of sex with a woman. I am disgusted by the idea of a future or sex with a male. Would this just make me technically biromantic or something? I dislike that label because I don't want anyone getting the idea that I want a relationship with a moid.

No. 381805

>>381801
"Biromantic" isn't really a real thing, especially since you mention being sexually aroused by male abuse but no romantic interest. You're just bi but rightfully hate men. You can just be a female-exclusive bisexual and not pursue men. Men don't respect labels anyway whether you identify as bi or something else.

No. 381825

>>381738
>>381773
>>381798
thank you nonnies, i appreciate this feedback a lot and feel more confident in my decision not to pursue anything with this girl. tbh i had initially assumed she was around 23-24 just based on the average age of the crowd at shows and even that gave me pause as my usual cutoff is 25 but i wanted to make sure that i wasn't being too inflexible (and some friends have implied that maybe i am just nervous about pursuing a woman and looking for excuses not to). i do not think i have the constitution to date somebody born after 9/11 though kek

No. 381845

>>381825
>i do not think i have the constitution to date somebody born after 9/11 though kek
AYRT, same lmao. Even 18-24 adults are too immature for me, my cutoff is 26/27 now. If she was 24 that wouldn't be bad either, but 19 is way too young and the maturity difference would be more obvious.

No. 381859

>>381801
> However I am sexually aroused by the idea of dying scrotes, a dead scrote, or a scrote being raped
Gross. No offense since it’s anon I assume you can take the criticism but I find that vile. Keep that to yourself would be my frivolous advice, stay away from romantic partners until you figure out what’s wrong with you would be my more serious advice. I generally frown upon being aroused by gore/rape, it indicates much deeper issues than I want to deal with in a partner. Goes well beyond a questioning sexuality issue and into serious metal issue territory.

No. 381861

>>381859
nta but does it sound like she's itching to date men? She literally says she can't see herself with one. Your pearl-clutching is unnecessary and cringe

No. 381862

>>381801
Based ryona stacy. I am the same as you except i am not bisexual.

No. 381893

>>381859
I think you are right and the fact that OP said she has never had a partner also makes me think she should wait for some irl experiences to understand better where she is standing. I can understand being turned on by some forms of violence but being aroused by rape and necrophilia definitely sounds like a deeper issue.

No. 381894

>>381861
God shut up, if she's aroused by rape and violence that is a serious problem. She doesn't need you defending it, she needs help.

No. 381896

>>381801
I knew some anons would jump you for being "degenerate" but tbh it would be a dream relationship for me to be with another misandrist woman because I get turned on by scrotes being hurt but I don't want to be with one. I'm pretty sure I'm genuinely bisexual since I've had genuine attraction to women from a young age. You may or may not be "really" bi, but the only way to find out is trying to get some experience irl.

No. 381907

>>344673
Do I still count as straight? I'm only attracted to close friends or someone I have a close connection with. I kind of have a soulmate fantasy where I have a best friend and lover who is like my other half, and it doesn't really matter to me if it's a guy or girl, but I think I'm more physically attracted to feminine guys than girls. I might have developed feelings for two female best friends I had. I never had a crush on a guy I knew in real life, except as a little child because he was my preschool best friend, but after that, I never befriended any males after childhood years in real life. I'm also only attracted to feminine-looking men as well. Every guy who looks masculine is very unattractive to me. I fantasized about cuddling or kissing crushes I had, but I also wouldn't do it in real life, and I never even told my crushes that I liked them, so I wonder if I'm also asexual. I have an aversion to sex, but I sometimes fantasize about it, but not really with women though. I can't imagine having sex with a girl because I kind of don't like the way vaginas look. They look like gaping wounds to me while dicks look cool. I still wouldn't want to do it in real life because I find it uncomfortable and repulsive, because again, it's only fantasies

No. 381912

>>381907
just straight

No. 381914

>>381861
I genuinely have no idea what your point is or why you brought up her dating men. I certainly wasn’t saying anything about her being itching to date men, she literally said the opposite.
I was just saying people who get off on snuff/gore are mentally unwell and should seek help for that and maybe not be on here asking if it makes them gay/bi/straight because that’s really not as important as the fact that snuff gets her off. She’s got some crossed wires.

No. 381915

>>381914
she only likes men getting snuffed, which like who cares? men have evolved through the year to be cannon fodder it's literally their purpose to die

No. 381918

File: 1709042186036.jpg (107.99 KB, 1300x867, 31268372-businesswoman-with-di…)

>>381907
>I kind of don't like the way vaginas look. They look like gaping wounds to me while dicks look cool.

No. 381919


No. 381920

>>381801
Lmao these replies. When did we get so many moralfags (probably around the same time anons started saying "aroace")

No. 381921

>>381920
WHAT IS EVEN A MORALFAG(unintegrated posting, newfaggotry)

No. 381925

>>381896 >>381862
We should date, nonas.
>>381914
Sorry for questioning my sexuality in the questioning sexuality thread lmfao
>>381915
I really don't see the issue with it. Men get off to insanely hardcore shit and are everyday opportunistic predators but god forbid I want them dead. It's not like I have the capability to carry it out IRL like they do.

No. 381928

>>381920
>When did we get so many moralfags
Sounds more like polbian shit to me to get turned on by men getting raped.

No. 381932

>>381907
>I can't imagine having sex with a girl because I kind of don't like the way vaginas look. They look like gaping wounds to me while dicks look cool.
You're a weird straight woman.

No. 381935

>>381907
>I can't imagine having sex with a girl because I kind of don't like the way vaginas look. They look like gaping wounds to me while dicks look cool.
you're straight congrats

No. 381936

>>381907
>I'm only attracted to close friends or someone I have a close connection with.
hookup culture and the gender crowd would have you believe otherwise, but this is a very typical way to treat romantic attraction
>I'm also only attracted to feminine-looking men as well. Every guy who looks masculine is very unattractive to me.
you have preferences and standards kek. preferring pretty males over the more rugged ones isn't something you should other yourself over
>I fantasized about cuddling or kissing crushes I had, but I also wouldn't do it in real life, and I never even told my crushes that I liked them, so I wonder if I'm also asexual. I have an aversion to sex, but I sometimes fantasize about it, but not really with women though.
this reads like you're sexually repressed and like you have issues with intimacy due to inexperience. it probably doesn't help how heinously misogynistic and hypersexual society at large is–but i digress. a little more time growing into yourself and exploring would help you out here imo
>I can't imagine having sex with a girl because I kind of don't like the way vaginas look. They look like gaping wounds to me while dicks look cool
you're straight with baggage, nonnie, and that's okay

No. 381949

>>381936
Thanks, I thought I was too extreme because other people I knew claimed I was clingy. But it's because when I actually really like someone, I end up getting stuck on them and investing my energy in them only, and other people find it weird. I can't imagine investing my energy in other people; it's just too much for me. I can barely let my guard down around people I knew for a while. I just feel so vulnerable. and im not the type of person to like to be attracted to someone based solely on physical appearance, so im just not attracted to 'attractive' males or just 99.9999% of the male population if that makes sense. 
I actually grew up in a puritanist, misogynistic household and was basically a whore from birth in the eyes of my mother. Maybe that could be the reason why I'm so uncomfortable with sexual stuff as well. Like, I was so sexualized since childhood that I didn't even want to be a woman. I was really ashamed of it and tried to suppress my feminine side. I hated my body so much and it only gotten way worse after puberty.

No. 381958

>>381912
>>381918
>>381932
>>381935
>>381936
Im nta and I swear this isn't bait I'm genuinely confused about this. whenever an anon says she fantasies about men but she thinks dicks are weird and she don't want to have sex with men other anons tells her she is straight/bi, but whenever an anon says she fantasies about women but she don't want to have sex with them anons also tells her she is straight. Why is liking dick not a requirement for being attracted to men but liking pussy is a requirement for being attracted to women?

No. 381970

>>381958
I think it's because many men have raped/killed women and then still threaten women with rape every day on the internet so they've kind of associated their own dicks with violence. Why would any straight/bi girl want to consent to that. Hence the "I can understand you dont like the idea of dicks irl but still want a boyfriend who loves you" response.

No. 381972

>>381970
Plus dicks just look weird in general, even the 'good' ones

No. 381990

>>381958
I think it's because it's normal for straight/bisexual women to find dick weird or gross even if they're attracted to men otherwise because penises and PIV sex are often associated with violence or an unequal sex life. I've also never known a lesbian or bisexual woman that was attracted to women but didn't like vagina (AKA outright disgust, not neutral/indifferent) unless she had body image issues or was sex-repulsed from abuse which was my experience, but I healed from it and don't feel that way anymore

No. 382087

What’s the explanation for having a gay phase? In my mid twenties I briefly became attracted to a woman, nothing happened because we didn’t really know each other and I didn’t know wtf was going on with me, but I pined for her every day for a year and became totally disinterested in men. I also became attracted to the “idea” of the female body and genitals, but wasn’t attracted to any other individual women (other than the one). The phase passed in less than 2 years and I look back on it now and I don’t know what the fuck that was. It was so strong and then disappeared like it never happened. Today I’m not attracted to women at all anymore.

I’m lucky I didn’t act on it, but it makes me think about the relatively common phenomenon of young women who start sleeping with women for a couple of years and then stop and go back to straight life and never touch a woman again. I think the general consensus is that they just were never serious about it and were just playing around out of boredom, but my experience makes me think that’s not really the explanation. I was really serious about it. Which makes me wonder, is there some evolutionary advantage for women to have this “phase”? I’m always asking myself “what happened to me?” And “why?”

No. 382088

>>382087
People who go on about evolutionary advantages or whatever when there is no basis in science for a certain phenomenon don’t make sense. Just accept that sexuality is subject to change and don’t try and bring that shit here.

No. 382089

>>382088
I mean, many phenomenons of the human experience are driven by evolution. I don’t think it’s an absurd question to ask.
>Just accept that sexuality is subject to change and don’t bring that shit here
Do you see how this is a non-answer though? This is just saying “idk, just give up trying to understand it” and I don’t accept that. Everything has an explanation. Plus, most people in the world would not agree that sexuality is subject to change, so you can’t just throw that out there as a discussion-ender.

No. 382091

>>382089
Anon was saying she thinks biology has somehow made it so females specifically become attracted to the same sex briefly and before being attracted to males again just because that’s what happened to her. I’m sorry but there’s no way that could be navigated on a biological level (we are not that specifically coded) so of course it’s a little silly.
You know what I think? I don’t think sexuality is genetic or something you’re born with. You can be predisposed to a certain sexuality but it’s very much just a psychological phenomenon based on how your brain perceives different sexes. It is random and can be affected by experiences, personality, environment, how genders express themselves socially and time period. That’s it. I don’t know why people behave like it’s more than that and it seems like trying to overcomplicate a very simple biological feature. Other animals just fuck whatever with the physiological tools they’re given and don’t need to overcomplicate it like we do with our cognition.

No. 382098

>>382087
I knew a woman like this too, who very seriously was into women for awhile and very seriously fell for one, but then "switched." I kind of wonder if it's related to the whole "bi cycling" phenomenon where someone basically is exclusively into one sex, and then switches to being exclusively interested in the other. Sorry I don't have a better answer for you, but I have noticed it too and I think it's strange. I don't think it's evolutionary, and I don't think sexual orientation is mutable for everyone (I knew many women who desperately tried to meme themselves into liking other women but couldn't), but I think maybe there are a lot of people out there with bisexual tendencies who cycle really hard.

No. 382103

>>382087
I think some people have very heavy preference to one sex and are only attracted to certain rare members of the other sex. And should they be called bi or straight/lesbian could probably be debated for a million threads. Also maybe it happens often to young women simply because they socialise more with other women in studies etc so it becames more likely?

No. 382125

I’m 23 and have never had been in a romantic/sexual relationship with another person. I’m not too worried about it considering most the time I can’t even imagine myself being with them or in most cases, when someone wants to go deeper into a relationship with me I become heavily disgusted.

I don’t want to call myself Aromantic because I believe a lot of my relationship avoidance may stem from truama/my childhood- But then again, I see people who have had it worse who are actually able to pursue close intimate relationships with others- hell even my own parents found a way to make it work.

The only problem I have is that it feels like I’m missing something. Call me naive, but I like the idea of pure love where people just fit together, where they just “get” each other. I’ve never experienced that with another person so idk if this by itself is just ruining my life from fully experiencing a romantic bond with another person or if I’m just aromantic

No. 382129

>>382125
Just turned 24 and we're living the same life. I don't really want a relationship, but I dislike how people perceive me for it.

No. 382147

File: 1709160998399.png (54.18 KB, 686x308, orthodox.png)

>>344673
>I CHOSE to accept his offer and repent
How real do you think this is? He continued to have urges for eight years (even if he didn't act upon them.) Do you think he still has them and just represses really hard; or is it actually possible to gaslight yourself into being straight if you deny yourself very hard?

I'm an orthodox catholic, even with a boyfriend. Basically everything about attraction to women is incompatible with my life. I think about it a lot and feel really guilty but I'm tired of both the guilt and the yearning. I really hope it's possible to just choose to make it go away.

And another thing: I think choosing a lifestyle (being celibate, refusing to GIVE INTO sexual urges) is different from "choosing" a sexuality (internal adherence, eliminating all inner urges on a psychological level. Genuinely not wanting it anymore)
I'm unsure how well founded the latter is in reality. Ethically, in Christianity, basically everybody suffer from some sexual proclivities that are sinful. God doesn't ask you to not have urges, he asks you to not act upon them, right? So, even if I physically can't choose my sexuality, the burden is still on me, isn't it… I feel a bit stuck.

How do I approach such a stalemate? It feels I have no option to approach at all. I would never think of actually dating/kissing/having sex with a girl, even though I yearn for it all the time. I'll never satiate these wants, I can never act upon them, but I can't eliminate them either, and the yearning is very painful combined with the shame. No matter how hard I try to intellectualize the situation, I find no way to eliminate the friction. I really can't be a catholic homosexual, it's impossible, but I refuse to abandon either.

No. 382155

>>382147
Damn, glad I don't have to deal with god hating on me to be happy. Sucks to be you.

No. 382161

>>382087
I dated someone with big brown eyes and couldn't imagine ever finding blue eyes anything but ugly. Then we broke up and now I have a crush on someone else and I think her blue eyes are beautiful. When you like someone, sometimes everything about them seems like the best version of anything.
>I'm lucky I didn't act on it
Or maybe you missed out on the best sex of your life with that girl, but whatever
>>382147
>How real do you think this is?
Girl are you asking if we really think god came to this homo in a dream and told him to dump Andrew?

No. 382165

>>382161
>Girl are you asking if we really think god came to this homo in a dream and told him to dump Andrew?
No, not really. I'm just asking if it's possible to repress, or force/redirect more attraction towards the other gender. I feel like that's the only thing I can do

No. 382171

>>382165
I can tell you it won't be fun to repress but a lot of people do it every day.

No. 382184

>>382087
may be bisexuality. my sister shared a kiss with a woman when she was 18, ID'd as straight after because it was just a phase, had 3 kids from 24–32, and then divorced her husband at 35 to marry a lesbian woman. it was so out of left field everyone in the family was shocked, but they're really in love and travel together and everything so everyone is happy for them. a year ago they bought a 3 storey house together and have their own business. reciprocation, peer support, and plausible future goals are important for relationships.

No. 382236

>>382125
I was in a similar boat as you when I was 23, and it turned out I wasn't ready for relationships due to childhood trauma/abuse. I honestly don't really think aromantic is a real thing or something inborn, I used to wonder if I was aromantic for most of my life because I never felt that way towards someone, but the implication of it was that you didn't mind not having romantic feelings or love when I had that "something is missing" feeling. It turned out I was avoidant of people due to trauma and didn't trust people, now 5 years later I'm in a relationship with a close friend that I bonded with initially platonically. I'm sure there's a stupid made up label for only wanting to date friends, but I think that's just how the strongest/most successful relationships start in my experience.

No. 382246

>>382125
i feel the same way. im probably legitimately asexual because i dont really experience much of a dsire to actually have sex with other people, vibrators are enough when im feeling like it but i do actually desire an emotional connection with someone and a romantic relationship where u do all the romantic stuff together instead of having sex but im also fearful of romantic relationships. im most likely straight as well and i cant imagine id meet an asexual guy bc they likely dont exit… i wish i was attracted to women because id rather have a relationship with a woman than a man.

No. 382802

Were you affected by girls around you coming out as lesbian and bisexual while in high school and shortly after that? My best friend at that time and other friends of her who weren't of mine came out as bisexual and I couldn't help but feel it was a very dishonest claim. Last time I spoke to that girl was more than five years ago and she told me she thought she was a lesbian but turns out she's been dating men and has been in a serious relationship with a man for years now. I'm not entirely sure about the other acquaintances but I am almost certain two of them have been exclusively dating men too. We all belonged to the alt scene of our city and in the middle 2010s it was so common for many girls to say things like that. I was very skeptical of all this but I admired their openness in a sort of way since I was repressing very hard my own attraction to women. I suppose that pretty much like them I was in my contrarian phase and, while they expressed it through "coming out", dating several people at once or dressing in a certain way their parents would disprove, I was trying to assert a more conventional heterosexuality that was seen as uninteresting in those circles and which felt very necessary to adopt since I was dressing completely masculine and my family would make jokes about me being a lesbian that made me extremely anxious. I wonder if any nonas had any similar experiences during adolescence.

No. 382806

>>382802
Yes, now I have straight OCD (I'm probably lesbian but think I will become straight any day now).

No. 382807

>>382806
Ayrt and shit, have you been posting about this on the lesbian thread? I lurk there quite a bit and the posts about that subject hit too close home. I remember spending several months with intrusive thoughts myself, although instead of worrying about being straight I was completely scared about noticing how natural it felt being attracted to women

No. 382840

>>382802
Yeah, but in an opposite way. When I was in high school there was this thing called "liesexuals" or "bisexual on Myspace but not IRL" and a lot of girls came out as bisexual, but went back to being straight when it wasn't trendy. I knew one self-identified lesbian who said that she would "stop doing it" when she graduates and marry a man. I didn't know any other lesbians IRL besides those girls and I legit thought I would grow out of it like they did.

No. 383043

Okay so. I’ve been thinking about a lot of my romantic encounters and there’s one thing I’m still confused about. So before puberty (aka before I turned 12 and started periods and growing taller) I considered myself straight. I went to a small catholic school and had a pretty religious family, and was bullied alot by the kids there. I got a couple crushes on boys, but im not sure if I actually knew what those were. Then during puberty I got an intense crush on this girl, and ever since then I have only liked women, as well as had a couple long term relationships. This has been for 6 years? I have like zero attraction to men now and sex with them disgusts me, nor can I really enjoy sexual content with exclusively men. My family is homophobic too, and I’ve just accepted I will get disowned because the thought of being with a man seems worse. I’ve been idying as lesbian for this reason because I don’t want to have sex w men, nor do I find attraction to them. But I am scared I’m misusing the label because I had a couple crushes in 4th grade. What do you all think?

No. 383086

Is being only sexually attracted to 2D characters some kind of asexuality or is it just plain autism? Also no "you'll find the right one", at my age it's not normal to have never felt desire for anybody.

No. 383089

>>383043
No hate but are you retarded or underage? Or am I replying to bait? Would you apply this logic to anyone else? You were a literal prepubescent child, you don't experience serious attraction at that age. Also stop treating sexual and romantic attraction as something completely separate from one another, most people are not asexual so this logic does not apply to them. God help lesbians and this weird policing of their sexuality. You are GAY.

No. 383102

>>383043
Do you remember how those crushes felt? Were they similar to how you felt towards the girl later, or was it stuff like "he's cool and I want to be his friend"? You mentioned being Catholic and bullied a lot, do you think that might be a factor to considering yourself straight? I used to think I was straight before I was 12 because I grew up religious and thought being gay was a sin, until I liked a girl and it was completely different from the boys I wanted to be friends with as a kid. Even then, I don't think what children feel really counts as tangible attraction because they're kids.

>>383086
It's just autism. Only feeling sexual attraction to fictional characters is still attraction.

No. 383103

>>383086
>some kind of asexuality or is it just plain autism?
It can be both. Do you leave the house? Interact with people? Tried dating around?

No. 383121

>>383103
>Do you leave the house? Interact with people?
Yes and yes
>Tried dating around?
Not really since I've never met anybody attractive enough to want to have sex with, and the only time I tried dating I got anxiety (the guy was not attractive so it didn't help either).

No. 383948

File: 1709967308338.jpg (75.59 KB, 580x580, s-l1600.jpg)

Straight women can enjoy looking at boobs, right? for example, i was browsing ebay today when i saw this pic for an item i wasn't even interested in but i clicked it because i wanted to look at her boobs. Nice breasts are just objectively pleasurable to look at, right?

No. 383949

>>383948
That is called miring. It is normal and everyone does it. Men just hypersexualize it when women do it because they are only capable of thinking about women through a degrading lens.

No. 383951

>>383949
i'm sorry, i don't really understand your reply.

No. 383955

File: 1709969810740.jpg (292.77 KB, 386x608, xeHPEnM.jpg)

>>383951
Ntayrt but she's referring to this meme, 'mirin stands for admiring (especially in an envious way). Just as straight men stare at dudes' abs at the gym it's totally normal for women to ogle at pretty women or nice bodies on their computers, we tend to be a lot more subtle about it though. Sometimes it makes you feel creepy but at the end of the day everyone likes looking at hot people lol, there shouldn't be any shame to it.

No. 384047

>>383955
Where’s the line between mirin and sexual attraction? It seems like it’s hard for a lot of people to figure out, some people think their sexual attraction is just admiration and some people think their admiration is sexual attraction. Is there even a difference?

No. 384052

>>384047
well, for mirin, it's like admiring a painting? you wouldn't necessarily make out with the mona lisa but you out opposed to robbing a museum of it's greek guy statutes. Shitty analogy, but if a woman or man makes you're pussy feel funny, than it's attraction. If not, it's mirin.

No. 384062

Eversince I found out every female bonobo is bisexual I'm convinced bisexual women are the majority of human females and "monosexuals" are the minority.

No. 384074

>>384047
When I'm sexually attracted to a woman, I want to touch, make out with, have sex (etc.) with her. It's pretty simple. I've seen women who look good but aren't my type or attractive, so sometimes I admire how they style themselves or dress instead.

No. 384079

>>384062
anons will disagree but if there was a “default” sexuality it would be bi, societal/psychological factors just influence whether people act on or realise it.

No. 384083

>>384052
original anon who posted the photo… I don't know that I necessarily feel anything in my pussy but I definitely want to touch and kiss the woman's boobs in my picrel. But I feel like I just like boobs, not women in general. There was a girl in my high school debate class who was almost flat-chested and so never wore a bra and I was always trying not to get caught with my eyes glued to her chest. I didn't like her though, she was an actual NLOG lesbian who cozied up with the asshole boys and loved to be edgy. But I did wish I could stare at her chest.
When I was a kid I used to draw pictures of women with big boobs kek and my mom was always like "why are you drawing them with such huge boobs, anon" and 7 year old me was like "idk, looks good" kek. although weirdly as an adult I'm not into big boobs anymore.
Anyway, isn't it possible to just have a boob fixation without being gay?

No. 384092

>>384083
You said it yourself - you don't like women, therefore you're not gay.

No. 384099

>>384092
well what am I supposed to do? I want to touch boobs but I can't because i'm not gay, there's no non-romantic situation in which you can play with a woman's boobs. Is there some way to get over this? Because currently when I think I probably will never be able to play with a woman's boobs in my whole life it makes me feel like i'm missing out on something. Should I set up a club for women who just want to fondle each other a bit and then go our separate ways? kek. (im kekking but actually i feel pretty shit about myself cuz i dont know what my problem is)

No. 384104

>>384099
Are boobs the only thing you like about women?

No. 384107

>>384099
Are you basically just confused as to why you want to fondle women's boobs? This is my question about you, but it sounds like you don't know either. Is it that you don't want to do anything besides that? Like if you think about kissing a woman or having her fondle your boobs, for example, does it turn you off?

No. 384115

File: 1710041726598.jpg (14.21 KB, 436x413, 663.jpg)

>>384107
>Are you basically just confused as to why you want to fondle women's boobs?
Yes
>Like if you think about kissing a woman or having her fondle your boobs, for example, does it turn you off?
i dont think i'd want to kiss on the lips but i might like to kiss in other places. I often think it would feel nice for another woman to fondle my boobs, sometimes i squish my own boobs and imagine it a little
>>384104
>Are boobs the only thing you like about women?
I think so. I mean I don't feel pulled to women the way i have in the past towards men.

I'm also the anon who posted this confusing dream the other day >>>/ot/1911299
Why is my body giving me weird half-signals?

No. 384119

>>384115
I think you're probably either repressing your attraction to women and might be a little bisexual OR you are just a straight woman who is curious about what it's like. You will probably have to do some self exploration in terms of your feelings about it to get a handle on which of those it is. I will say that even though I knew I liked women from a young age, it took me a long time to really come to terms with it and I would constantly be like "well I don't want to do xyz with a woman!" but after thinking about it long enough I'd realize I do. Maybe you can try indulging in your boob touching fantasies to your heart's content without judging yourself or overthinking it too much. Eventually, you will probably either get bored of it and realize you don't actually have any real interest in women's bodies, or you'll find yourself thinking about it more frequently with more detail and realize you actually might be into women for real.

No. 384124

>>384115
Maybe this is a bad idea but I instantly feel like you should try to find one of those couples looking for a third. "I want to touch boobs but I can't because i'm not gay" is nothing, you can do whatever you want in this world if you find people who want the same. I bet the man would let you fondle her while they had sex or you could even negotiate just to mess around without sex.

No. 384129

>>384124
She could also just find another bicurious woman to experiment with. They definitely exist. I think if she's just honest with her expectations and feelings no one will be hurt. In case she doesn't want to deal with a moid.

No. 384130

>>384129
That's probably the better idea but I was thinking maybe she'd enjoy the moid presence if it felt too gay with just two women touching boobs while refusing to kiss.

No. 384132

>>384124
NGL this is terrible advice for bicurious women (or anyone for that matter). The men in those couples are either hideous or the predatory ones. Bicurious women are dime-a-dozen on Tinder, just look there.

No. 384719

Is there a step between straight and bisexual? Lately I’ve been getting really strong cravings to cuddle naked with another woman, for example I have a fantasy of sitting on her lap facing her and pressing our bellies and torsos together and resting my head in the crook of her neck and kissing her skin. Clearly you don’t do that with a friend, but at the same time I wouldn’t be able to take it to the next level. I’m straight so I find men attractive and can easily picture myself having sex with them, but I wouldn’t want to do this naked cuddling thing with a man, I only want to do it with another woman. It’s too intimate. I wish things weren’t only divided up into “platonic” and “sexual” because this behavior doesn’t fit either one so I probably will never get to experience it even though I desperately want to because normal people only want things that fit into one of those two categories, not some weird in-between thing. What’s wrong with me? And how should I cope with this? Not a rhetorical question I genuinely need help kek

No. 384764

>>384124
I wouldn't want to that that tbh, for one it feels gross to be used in some moid's kink, and secondly I wouldn't want to contribute to the unicorn hunting culture that already plagues dating apps.
>>384129
I would be too scared that she would realize she's grossed out by it midway through and it would be so awkward, plus how do you even fid bicurious women, it's not like we really tell people… this is why I think I'll never be able to do it kek it's just too awkward and embarrassing and I'm a retard who doesn't know what she even wants.

No. 384800

File: 1710295258572.jpg (98.7 KB, 1024x576, 1000001120.jpg)

I've had nowhere else to vent about this experience so I might as well just vent it here. As someone who, at the beginning of this year, was jumped and mugged by a gang of women at a lesbian bar in my city I can safely say that my bisexuality has been cured. I no longer care about same sex attracted women and I no longer consider myself curious for anything involving women. I frankly don't even want to have friendships or engage with women in any sort of way anymore this experience has traumatized me so much. Picrel was what my face looked like after the attack. They felt comfortable ganging up on me while I was all alone. I guess this means it's back to the drawing board and going back to searching for a Nigel in futility lol

No. 384805

>>384800
This is meant to be an anonymous imageboard so I’m sorry you will probably get banned for this. But jesus christ I’m sorry that happened to you. Is your eye better? Feeling more wary as a result of this experience is completely understandable so I get why it’d be easier to pursue men for now. Just remember that it’s more common for moids to be violent, especially in relationships. I hope you manage to work through the trauma at least enough to still have female friends.

No. 384806

>>384800
Jesus, anon, do you remember what they looked like? Maybe you could also try searching on Twitter for any videos during that approximate date or something in case that got recorded because then you could go to the police and report their asses. Or if you were with friends or something they could remember anything, I just think there must be a way for you to get justice.

No. 384807

>>384800
Ouch nonna. I'm so sorry, you didn't deserve that. Please try not to let them ruin women for you. Take a break, don't leave the same sex dating pool permanently because tbh moids aren't generally any better, just familiar. Remember to put an ice pack on, and also just wanted to say even with all the injuries I can tell you're very pretty

No. 384809

>>384800
Im so sorry this happened to you anon, I wish the absolute fucking worst to those people. Please do remember that statistically, it’s a male partner the most likely person to abuse and kill a woman. It fucking sucks that you can’t just trust anyone, but please please. Stay safe.

No. 384812

File: 1710300269879.png (854.4 KB, 928x991, kek.PNG)

>>384800
you got them good with this one lmfaoooo

No. 384814

>>384805
>>384806
>>384807
>>384809
There is no way that you guys believed this. There is no way.

No. 384815

>>384812
If you looked at my message on this thread, I saw picrel is what I looked like after the attack, I used this picture as a reference to describe how my injuries look, not an actual picture of me for the sake of privacy. As someone else has stated, this is an anonymous messaging board and it's best not to disclose my actual face to strangers because I've already had my being attacked enough as it is.

No. 384816

>>384814
This really happened to me and I used a pic from google as a reference for my injuries to spare myself from doxxing an IRL pic of me and my bruised face.

No. 384817

>>384816
Oh. My bad.

No. 384818

>>384817
come on man

No. 384819

>>384818
Sorry.

No. 384822

File: 1710302761047.png (255.41 KB, 576x537, jfhlsajfk.png)

I feel like an idiot because i really don't think I'm really bisexual but also i probably made like 20% of all the total posts in the female fantasies thread while thinking about an actress I was infatuated with. if someone posted like at least 3 times weekly in the female fantasies thread for a year straight is there any chance they are just straight and confused? Can you like to fantasize about something but not do it irl? If so, is it wrong? Why does it make me feel guilty? When I actually think about doing the fantasies I posted about irl with someone from real life it feels awkward and weird and not appealing, so I think I am straight, but why do i have so many fantasies?????? Am I just autistic? Just retarded? Is it just that the woman the fantasies were about is my one "exception" and that's why picturing doing it with other people from real life turns me off? Is it because she was androgynous and my brain was just tricked? Can that really be the explanation if I was fantasizing about her pussy the entire time? What is my damn problem, why can I not be normal. I'm supposed to have myself figured out at this age.

No. 384825

>>384822
You are very likely bisexual. Lots of anons here will screech "porn brainrot" but porn does not change your sexual orientation (yeah sorry to the "lesbians" that keep jerking off to men). It's not heterosexual at all to feel aroused by same sex sexual fantasies, specially being so obsessed with them. If you ever have the chance though, do have sex with a woman you feel attracted to and find out for real.

No. 384847

>>384822
Yeah it is possible to have a fantasy you wouldn’t like in real life. Whether or not that’s the case is hard to say, up to you. I don’t see the harm in what you’re doing. You will probably remain questioning until you start having real-life interactions with people.

No. 384867

>>384825
well I don’t watch porn anyway so that’s not the explanation. And I would do what you and >>384847 say and find a woman I like and sleep with her if it was possible, but I’ve only ever been attracted to that one woman so it’s unlikely I’d just encounter someone irl, and it’s even more unlikely they’d reciprocate because i have a pretty ugly face. So I know that people might think “then why does it even matter?” But it does matter to me for some reason, the incongruities of my sexual orientation bother me and I feel like I need to understand myself just for my own sake but am finding it impossible. Things without explanations bother me deeply, and since this is so personal it really plagues my mind because I think it’s only natural to need to understand yourself.

No. 384870

>>384867
Well if it makes you feel any better I think that you questioning your sexuality already means that you're bisexual and that's one step above bicurious which could still be het.

No. 384896

File: 1710353792326.jpg (105.87 KB, 700x979, 1be2d6b71233fad92b7a4026dd9e9a…)

After years of questioning I am still unsure if I'm just straight, or "mostly straight". Idk if the Kinsey scale is real in any way but I got a 2 last time compared to the past when I'd get a 50/50 bisexual result. I might've shared my story before but here it goes again for those who missed it.

Growing up I never had a real crush on any woman, but I was a bit fascinated by butch and androgynous women. I don't really feel sexual attraction to anyone, man or woman, before developing romantic feelings. So it's not like I can look at celebrities or randos and think they're fuckable or not, to try to understand my sexuality. I just don't work like that. So the pull pretty people have on me is really non-sexual and weak at first.
Either way, I was drawn to female androgyny and sometimes I'd get nervous seeing a really pretty girl from another class, thinking about how delicate her face was, and I still remember one time when she complimented my lips so many years ago. That was the extension of my "attraction" for women. At the time I thought it was more like admiration at their coolness or beauty, rather than sexual or romantic attractive.
Then things changed. I had a short phase when I watched porn like a pathetic loser, which is extremely weird considering I had never felt sexual attraction to anyone irl before deepening our bond first. It is like I was attracted to the sexual acts, not exactly the people, and that coincided with me meeting this sweet lesbian who developed feelings for me. I felt attracted to her at the time and genuinely had feelings for her too. She was kind, artistic and so intelligent.
Things fell apart between us after a while and I was depressed for months because I was so incredibly into her. But we never got that far together. We confessed to each other and we had a sexy conversation once but that was it.
Not long after I stopped talking to that woman, I got involved with a friend. We made out a lot and touched and kissed each other for weeks. I loved every moment of it. Until the day we went all the day in and I was turned off and confused. I didn't like her scent, taste, or the way she seemed to fake it during the act. At first I thought it was just because we weren't a real match, and that I'd have been turned off having sex with the wrong guy too (I had never done anything consensual with a guy besides kissing at this point). And that's true, I would have. But it was more than that, I think it was my confirmation, at the time, that I am straight.
Not long after that I quit porn for good and my interest in pursuing a girlfriend faded away too.
I eventually went back to talking to guys and I have had serious relationships with men and I have a male partner now in my 30's. I believe he's the right person for me.
Sometimes I still think single me would be able to fall in love with a woman again, if she was as sweet and wonderful as that one lady I had feelings for. But I don't know. That woman was one of a kind, she was amazing to me and I probably had an idealised idea of who she was. Maybe I was never bi, just confused by past trauma involving men and pronography. Maybe I am bi, but with a strong preference for men, and pushed my bisexuality away because of an unpleasant first time?

What are your thoughts, nonnas? Please help

No. 384916

>>384896
You probably won't be able to get definitive confirmation unless you wind up single again and experimenting with women, but if you know you were ever attracted to a woman, genuinely, then I think you're bisexual. You might have a preference for men, and/or you might just have been turned off by your negative sexual experience with a woman. I think it's safe to say you have some degree of attraction to women, whether it's conditional, waxes and wanes, or is weaker than your attraction to men. Although, ultimately, if you're in a relationship with a man who you have no intention of leaving, it all seems to be a bit of a moot point. Good luck nona.

No. 384932

>>384896
I think my thoughts on the entire concept of someone questioning their sexuality is that it's only worthwhile if it's going to affect the way you live or else it's just meaningless and masturbatory like agonizing over whether you're more of an INTJ or an INTP. Genuinely, seriously, why would you waste time navel gazing about if you're a kinsey 1.7 or 0.3 or whatever when you're happily dating a man who may be the right person for you?

No. 384996

i might be attracted to men idk, i was conflicted over my attraction to fictional men since I always felt like they were just abstractions of the real thing, and I doubted that it had any real merit in framing someone’s sexuality because of that.

i've never felt attracted to an irl man and frankly i don't even feel like i'd be interested or willing to pursue him if i did. whether out of a lack of self esteem, the attraction being a fantasy/idealized image, or a moid needs to throw himself at my feet to be worthy of my love and attention, i don't know lol. in a few ways i don't feel good enough for a man that would treat me well, which i hate because that's setting me up to be a doormat

once in a blue moon i get crushes on male actors and find them cute and sexy so that’s why i feel like i shouldn’t ignore the possibility of being bi, but i’m mainly confused by it because crushing on actors/characters tends to change my view of men as a whole. as autistic as it sounds i find myself thinking some irl men are cute(r) when i’m actively crushing on an actor, whereas i spent 6+ years labeling myself as a lesbian and finding men annoying and ugly and women all kinds of sexy and amazing. it truly feels like even my sexuality revolves around my random obsessions lol. i think i might just be bi with a side of very autistic preference fluctuations

No. 385000

>>384996
Don't let 90% of lesbian general read this.

No. 385174

I deleted all my social media 5 years ago and even then I didn't post pictures of myself. For all the presence online I still have (email, whatsapp, yt accounts) I use pictures of things I like or landscape photos I take myself. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I feel very uncomfortable putting pictures of myself out there, but I can't use dating apps without them. I technically could but I don't think I'd have any success plus I would feel creepy. Do anons in my situation have any tips on how to overcome this fear? I feel like once I put myself out there I'll be in a very vulnerable position. I made a fake account (now deleted) to take a peak at my local scene and I noticed most women used regular pics with normal angles, no weird angles or crazy filters. I liked that! I'm also concerned about which apps to use. There are several in my country and I suspect each one may have a different public. Should I test all the waters and then choose only two apps?

No. 385197

File: 1710500229844.jpg (34.4 KB, 511x383, 1000026868.jpg)

since I was a little girl I knew I wasn't straight. I only ever got real crushes (with hints of autistic obsession tbh) on female classmates, teachers and actresses and think my experience with "dating" boys/men could be classified as textbook compulsory hetero(bi?)sexuality. I always felt the pressure to be involved with a guy and grew up in a very homophobic environment. despite that, I never fantasized romantically or sexually about boys, only girls, and ~fell in love~ with a couple of my female best friends. as an aside, my Internet access was unsupervised as a tween and I found porn at way too young of an age which I feel could've warped my sexuality maybe. penises have turned me on before but it's like a very detached kind of horny, where I don't want to think at all about the man attached, let alone desire him as a potential partner or someone with whom I want to be intimate. I'm 31 and cannot see myself ever dating or pursuing males (ie I date women exclusively) but once in a while I'll discover an actor, musician or model and find him attractive (young James Spader, Edward Furlong, Sam Elliott for example). additionally, I just find it hard to think of men as people as wild as it sounds so this latent attraction, no matter how superficial, weirds me out. wtf am I even

No. 385220

>>385197
Remember, sexuality is about sexual feelings. You're sexually attracted to men. You're bisexual.

No. 385227

>>385197
You sound like a strong case of bi with 99.99% female preference.

No. 385228

>>385197
You say you are attracted to these celebrity men so you are probably bi.

No. 385230

>>385197
I am lesbian who was extremely porn addicted as a kid but even when I fapped to absolutely everything as a kid, I still also found men gross. I think you are bi since you are attracted to men and are not repulsed by them.

No. 385263

>>385197
>I just find it hard to think of men as people as wild as it sounds
Lack of exposure to men.

No. 385264

>>385197
You're bi

No. 385265

>>385263
NTA but I'm the same way and it's a result of too much exposure to men lol

No. 385269

>>385265
Your problem if you take everything they say or do personal.

No. 385275

>>385269
how is anyone supposed to not take it personally when they do something harmful? this is a strange response tbh

No. 385333

>>385263
ayrt here. I've lived with a man for over a decade (it's super complicated–I'm disabled and he's like my caregiver since I don't have any family, but he's also my "ex" and my best friend). romantically I have a "lack of exposure" to them but that would be the only sphere in which that's true. >>385265 describes the phenomenon well. also, it's not that I don't view men as people but moreso that I can't and have never really seen their personhood as something I wanted to be familiar with intimately. the magneticism just doesn't, or hasn't, exist(ed). thinking about being in love with a man in the way I could be with a woman (totally consumed by Everything About Her) just feels impossible.

anyway, I really appreciate all the responses to my initial post <3 I'm currently thinking of how to go forward with navigating my bisexuality, in the sense that I don't want to perpetrate the stereotype of bisexuals needing to ingratiate themselves amongst lesbians etc. but for so many years I've not thought of myself as anything other than gay! much to think aboot it seems(no emoticons)

No. 385336

File: 1710547884407.png (62.8 KB, 578x547, __houraisan_kaguya_touhou_draw…)

>I've not thought of myself as anything other than gay
>I've lived with a man for over a decade
>he's also my "ex" and my best friend
Every fucking time.

No. 385337

>>385333
>currently thinking of how to go forward with navigating my bisexuality
Just live like a normal person. Just act completely normal and do what comes natural. It's not hard. You don't have to navigate being who you are naturally. People here aren't saying "You've been assigned bisexuality so act bisexually." They're saying "the word that describes who you clearly are is clearly bisexual." You dated your ex boyfriend and then lived with him for a decade so acting like someone who is not at all gay and attracted to men is in fact not something you will have to work to achieve.

No. 385340

>>385336
Seriously. Why did OP fail to include this information in her initial post? It almost feels like bait to me.

No. 385350

>>385336
>>385340
around the time my ex and I stopped being intimately involved (I was 23 & am now 31) is when I, I guess somewhat naively, started living as a lesbian. I believed I was gay and ~came out~ and we mutually ended things for that reason. my situation is highly particular and specific, like I previously said. I have been in a wheelchair my entire life and don't find it odd that the person I've lived with for 10 years, who is also my caregiver, is my best friend. if it matters, he's more like found family at this point. I get your exasperation and hate to come off as defensive but my lived experience is highly unusual and different than most. that's also why I didn't include these details initially.
>>385337
thanks anon

No. 385357

>>384719
sorry, i don't want to be obnoxious, but i was wondering if anyone had any thoughts on this post i made 3 days ago. Has anyone else ever felt like this and figured themselves out?

No. 385363

>>385357
Sorry to see how hard you got overlooked by the obviously fake and dumb post that people couldn't stop reacting to for some reason. The answer is that you're somewhere between straight and bisexual and if you're in high school or college, it is not THAT hard to do what you want to do and see what it's like, but you have to know mildly slutty/touchy feely women in real life I think (that is I doubt you could find a girl to cuddle with via app but I don't know). My official advice would be: tell people you're straight because the kind of bisexual you are (if you're bisexual and not just curious) is not the kind of bisexual that you would benefit from identifying as so it would be kind of silly to get really invested in it.

No. 385365

>>385350
DA but "living as a lesbian" sounds like troon logic. You either are or you aren't, it's not something you elaborately live was. I know you likely mean only dating women or being in non-heterosexual communities but you mention attraction to both sexes in your original post.

No. 385461

>>385365
kek yeah I get what you mean. my ability to put thoughts into words is clearly abysmal. my initial post came from the guilt and hypocrisy I felt recently after such a long time of thinking I was exclusively same sex attracted, suddenly realizing that maybe I've been dealing with internalized biphobia this entire time. I think I allowed my lack of desire for intimacy/romance (even sex tbh) with men, plus my general disdain for them as a whole, cloud things. it feels silly to only realize such things at my age but I guess better late than never. apologies if my rambling has exasperated anyone but I really do appreciate the feedback from you all uwu

No. 385810

I'm pretty sure I'm bisexual with a strong leaning towards the same sex (females), but here is the original sperg post I've posted already on two different threads:

"I don't know what to label my sexual orientation. I am female and after so many times of trying to concentrate or try to feel something, anything, towards male bodies.. I realize that I just can't do it, no matter how hard I try. They either cause me to feel sick to my stomach at worst, and absolutely nothing at best.

With female bodies, though, a completely different story. I get aroused even when women are doing nothing sexy at all, or doing something benign.

At the same time, though, men have had sex with me, and I did tried things with them, so I think lesbian is out. I don't want to offend people or make them think I am trying to be something I'm not, but I don't know what to do or what to label myself that is as unoffensive as possible.. yet lets me reject males in peace.

I can't let another man touch me ever again. If one tries, I might just kill myself, I'm not kidding."

I can't decide if I just can't get aroused by men because I've been abused too much by men (I lost my virginity through rape and I guess I never recovered from that), or if I'm just weirdly ashamed of being bi for some reason.

Thank you. You're free to ask me anything if you need more info.

No. 385851

I think I'm going through sexuality OCD. I know I'm a lesbian. I don't ever want to have sex with a man, be in a relationship with one, kiss one, I don't even like men much personality wise. I've never had a crush on a man, only on women. Back when I watched porn I didn't really like seeing men in it, they were always ugly and off putting to me. But (and this is going to make me sound so cringy) I've read yaoi from a young age and some of the erotica is hot - although now that I'm growing into my sexuality and actually feeling that desire to be with someone(I'm 20) that's kind of faded and I don't get as excited even about my platonic fave male characters anymore. Anyway it was more about the dirty talk than anything else, but I keep worrying this makes me a fraud and it's actually a sign I'm attracted to them because I can enjoy reading about fictional ones? Does that matter since I don't ever want to have sex or be in a relationship with one?

No. 385856

>>385851

M+ fanfics is more or less on the same level as porn in general so I think its best to stay away from that type of content since it'll just mess with your head. Lots of people end up with fauxbisexuality because of over consumption of porn, especially on the moid side.

No. 385857

>>385851
You know very well that you will only get validation about this from this fujo-ridden website. If you ask about this in any lesbian space you're gonna get shat on for being a fujo because obviously it's not a fetish someone who is exclusively attracted to females would have.

No. 385861

>>385851
You're not going to get many good answers to this here because this website is extremely autistic about yaoi and the women who like it. There's no consensus on if lesbians are allowed to like yaoi and it inspires pretty strong feelings. But imo, if you know you've never been attracted to men and never will be, I genuinely don't see the point in calling yourself bisexual, especially if you don't even care about that content anymore. I've known (and dated) women who memed themselves into some sort of faux bisexuality because they liked stuff like Strawberry Panic and F/F shipping, but were absolutely repulsed by the prospect of actually having sex with women irl and could not make themselves do it. So I don't buy the whole "what you enjoy in fiction reflects your irl desires 100% of the time," I think it depends on the person and why they like that material. But if it makes you feel better, you can just go unlabeled and say "I like women." I truly think half the problems in this thread would be solved if the women here stopped treating labels like a moral standard they have to live up to and more like a shorthand description for their experiences and feelings.

No. 385862

>>385861
>I've known (and dated) women who memed themselves into some sort of faux bisexuality because they liked stuff like Strawberry Panic and F/F shipping, but were absolutely repulsed by the prospect of actually having sex with women irl and could not make themselves do it
There is nothing weird about liking non-erotic F/F or M/M media, which can explain why those girls thought they might be bisexual. But when you're consuming homosexual porn and like it, that's another story.

No. 385864

>>385851
> Does that matter
No. It doesn’t matter at all. Don’t even worry about it.

No. 385866

>>385862
I'm talking about girls who did like explicit sexual F/F content (Stawberry Panic is also explicit) but flinched at physical intimacy with actual women. To be fair, I only have 3 anecdotes of women who said they discovered they were bi because of explicit yuri, only to realize they are repulsed by physical intimacy with actual women (but certainly enjoy sex with men). But still, that was enough to convince me that your fictional tastes don't always line up with your irl orientation. I don't really "get it" but I've seen it happen, and I have known straight girls that like explicit F/F too. Idealized pixels aren't the same as real people, but many people use them as stand-ins/proxies for real people, which is why I think it just depends on the person's circumstances and reasons for liking it. And it's also why I'm skeptical when women say they realized they like women because of anime but have never been attracted to a real woman. Get back to me when the woman you like has skin texture and normal sized eyes.

No. 385875

>>385861
>I truly think half the problems in this thread would be solved if the women here stopped treating labels like a moral standard they have to live up to and more like a shorthand description for their experiences and feelings.
You could change the fucking world if you just hacked the "comphet masterdoc" or whatever and replaced the whole thing with this

No. 385876

>>385851
You just sound like you've been warped by porn (albeit fictional porn), not bisexual. It's be one thing you wanted to have sex with characters but everyone I know (including myself) who looked at porn/nsfw fanfic/hentai at a young has been warped by it, straight or gay or bisexual. If anons in this thread can watch objectifying irl porn of women but admit to finding vaginas or dating women disgusting and be considered straight porn addicts, I don't see why the opposite can't apply. Looking at other people having sex isn't the same as having sex or feeling attraction. I didn't feel attraction to another (real) person until my mid-20s but reading fanfics since I was a kid made me think I was bi or one of those made up labels like pansexual or demisexual because I liked romance regardless of sexuality.

>>385861
I agree.

No. 385893

File: 1710729781734.jpg (84.97 KB, 272x272, 1365307405816.jpg)

>>385861
>>385866
Kek'd at the fujo falseflag. All the women I've known irl that like yuri are the super autistic kind that realized that they are bisexuals through anime coom. Some have a nigel, some have a girlfriend. Meanwhile, none of the lesbian friends I know get behind the fujo lesbian bullshit (even some bisexuals), and if you ask in any non-troon or ~sapphic~ lesbian place most lesbians will tell you women that are into BL/yaoi/MLM media are a redflag, and if they get off to it it's even worse. The sad reality for you is that whatever you get off to is a reflection of what you find hot when you don't have the IRL mental barriers.

No. 385904

>>385893
I am an autistic yurifag, it's how I was bonding with these women. This is what I mean when I say this website is autistic about yaoi, you would rather shadowbox fujos you made up in your head than accept someone just having a different opinion and experience than you.

No. 385924

>>385904
Okay autistic yurifag. What's the best yuri work in your opinon?(infighting, derailing)

No. 385945

>>385876
Yep, in those spaces there would be reader insert fanfics. I'd read them and enjoy the backstory and fluffy parts, but any time there was a kiss or sex scene it felt wrong, I couldn't even imagine having sex with or kissing the male characters I liked so much. Whereas female characters I could.
>>385856
Yeah I've been staying away from it for now! Back when I read it, I thought I wasn't attracted to anyone. Honestly I thought I was asexual or something all through my teen years. But then I realized signs in the past that I was attracted to women and got my first female crush and the m/m stuff lost its allure. If I can put it into words, it feels that I realized fantasies can involve actually being attracted to the people in the fantasies, not attracted to the dialog or descriptive parts.
>>385857
Actually the opposite, a lot of lesbian spaces I see now are overrun with girldick shit and women whining about the gold star label. This thread is actually what made me start worrying about whether the fic I enjoyed was a sign of osa. I feel like I'm always searching for signs of that now.
>>385861
That's what I've also been thinking, it does seem pretty useless to call myself bi if I'm never gonna be with a man. Surely if you're bi the idea of being in a relationship with a man isn't repulsive to you, but an actual option? But even when I was about 12 or so before I realized I liked women I fantasized about "platonically" living with a woman and couldn't imagine being with a man. Anyway that aside I would like to use the label lesbian but I don't want to be one of those people that say they're lesbian but is actually bi. It's a great shorthand for saying I'm not interested in men and will only date women but I'm scared there's osa "lurking" that disqualifies me. I kinda wish I'd never stumbled across yaoi when I did (10!), maybe this would make things easier.

No. 385977

>>385945
> Surely if you're bi the idea of being in a relationship with a man isn't repulsive to you, but an actual option?
Not true. What is it with women and thinking understanding that men are gross unfeeling coomers unfit for relationships equals totes gay? It’s just common sense.

No. 385979

>>385977
Oh I know, what I meant was I've felt that way since I was a kid (before i discovered what men were like) and I never fantasized about dating one. Even if I could make a fictional male who's perfect in every way come to life I still wouldn't be into him, I still don't like the male body. It's not that I'm abstaining because men are coomers, it's that I don't think I can feel that way about them

No. 385987

File: 1710773176496.jpg (186.79 KB, 800x800, 1000001197.jpg)

>>385924
Not the anon you were talking to, but Yuri Espoir is the best Yuri Manga in my opinion.(belongs in the yuri thread)

No. 385998

If I find fantasies I have with other women hot could there be a chance I'm slightly bisexual? Otherwise I'm attracted to the male physique which I also find hot, and my wet dreams always involve males. I just want to know if I'm pornsick or not lol

No. 386013

>>385998
sure there's a chance if the fantasy involves women romantically or sexually. if you're watching porn, stop that shit.

No. 386810

Is it possible to be bisexual but not really be interested in fictional female characters? Like I'm mostly interested in real women.

No. 386817

To those of you who repressed your attraction towards women throughout your life and only had relationships with men (bonus points if the relationships were all very unhealthy), what was it like when you finally got into a relationship with a woman for the first time?

No. 386819

>>386817
I have the same question but in the opposite direction. What was it like for people who realised their same sex attraction early on but didn't start feeling attracted to men until later on? I (mid 20s) only realised my osa around a year ago but I feel like I'm too old to start exploring that side of my sexuality when every other osa person started as teenagers. Plus I feel like the decent moids my age are going to already be taken, because by their mid twenties most of them will have already had the major heartbreak that makes them hate women

No. 386822

>>386819
In my experience people don't start having great sex until their late 20s because as much as people love to pretend they've sexy hot shit they've barely learnt what they like and how to move their bodies and for men, they are slow learners.

No. 386902

>>386810
Of course. Attraction to real peoples is what counts. I'm guessing you mean book/anime/cartoon characters but even if you mean characters played by actors it's completely fine nona. It doesn't help that a lot of female characters who people call attractive are so oversexualized and ridiculous it's not even sexy anymore.

No. 386916

>>386902
Thanks nonnie. I'm mostly attracted to masc women and it's pretty rare to come across masc female characters in the media.

No. 387060

>>384047
for me its simple. i feel physically aroused. if i just find it aesthetically pleasing i dont feel anything i just think it looks good

No. 390792

Feels weird calling myself bi because I’m one of those people who is straight “with an exception”. Literally just one exception. It’s an androgynous celebrity woman who I’ve been obsessed with fantasizing about for a couple of years now. It feels so goofy to call myself bisexual when the only thing differentiating me from every other straight woman is one celebrity crush. Like does this really count? for real? I feel like a total retard about this

No. 390879

>>390792
samefag… I guess my concrete questions are:
>Are any of you also mostly gay/straight but “with an exception”?
>If so, how do you conceptualize yourself (to yourself, to other people)?
>Do you have any theories as to why your exception is your exception?
>How common do you think having “an exception” is?
Please don’t reply to this just to be nasty or call me stupid. I’ve heard all that before so you don’t have to bother.

No. 390904

>>390792
>>390879

you're bi and its okay. bisexuality is, at the risk of sounding retarded here, a spectrum that isn't always perfectly 50/50 in the attraction between males and females. the fact that you are able to have an exception is proof of your bisexuality.

gay men don't have exceptions when it comes to women. it's 100% men for them. lesbians don't have exceptions when it comes to men. it's 100% women for them. vice versa for straight people.

No. 390932

why am I so obsessed with women cross dressing????? this has escalated into a life-consuming fetish for me. I was previously straight but ever since I developed this fetish it's genuinely all I fantasize about.

No. 390936

i have a dumb question. i had sex 2 years ago with a woman and it was intimate and enjoyable but i never felt super horny through it. i came and all and liked making her feel good but i still wonder if me not being super horny during that time means that i'm not really into women. can it be i just wasn't that into her? or maybe i'm actually just straight?

No. 391147

>>390936
Do you get super horny when you were with a man?

No. 391674

>>390932
samefagging… the reason I think this must be a fetish and not a true sexuality is that I had the most enormous crush on a cross-dressing woman, but when she decided to stop cross dressing and present as a “normal woman” with long hair, nails, etc, my attraction totally extinguished itself and it’s left me feeling like a very shallow, weird person. Because if I actually liked her I’d still like her even after she takes off the “costume”. I feel so shitty about myself now.

No. 391693

>>391674
You are bisexual with a type. Long hair and nails could also be considered a costume. Asking yourself if you'd still want her without the suit or whatever, would be more productive. As in, when she's naked in her natural state. Does she have to wear a suit for you to get off on eating her out? Regardless, I still think you're still experiencing attraction to a woman, even if she's cross-dressing. If you are getting off on the idea of pleasuring your same sex and getting pleasured by her how on earth does that make you straight?

No. 391698

>>391674
I think you're bi with a preference, like I'm only attracted to guys with long hair and I've always joked that if the guy I was dating shaved his head I would dump him on the spot. I have a hard time being attracted to feminine either, and there's nothing wrong with that.

No. 391748

>>391674
I don't think you should feel bad. I love both feminine and masculine women, but i totally get your adoration for crossdressers (I'm obsessed with women cosplaying male characters, don't care about any other kind of cosplay). It's only a problem if you expect her to perform a masculine/male role for you instead of simply appreciating her masculine style, as some bi women do.

No. 391775

File: 1713309427794.jpg (114.29 KB, 653x817, IMG_20240417_013914.jpg)

I've been thinking about finding a passing tif to eat my pussy for some time now as most males my age (20) have hideous facial hair and premature wrinkles. They've all hit the wall. I'm straight (knowing the tif is a woman is gross to me) but I dont think I'm going prison gay. Women with masculinising plastic surgery and hormones simply look better than males. Plus as long as I don't have to interact with her pussy it's just masturbation with extra steps. It's like using a vibrator with a cute face. Technology has improved greatly and you can witness the "y" chromosome dying off in real time. I wouldn't be surprised that most tifs have more testosterone than meat dildos and their superior female genetics give them a beautiful and symmetrical bone structure. I can see early intervention tifs replacing males for me. I can't be the only straight woman feeling this way. I know most tifs are pimply 4'11 straight girls, so my question is: are the handsome ones even into women? They're so dick worshipping, they all seem straight to me. The best looking ones are always doing gay porn. And I'm worried about the testosterone making them retarded hormonal messes like actual men. I'm not questioning my heterosexuality at all, I just wonder if I'm the only one thinking about this. I want something like picrel but slightly more masculine.

No. 391780

>>391775
As someone who is basically what you're looking for but 1. Actually a lesbian and 2. Not really a tif (I did do T though) fuck you, I hope you never meet the person you're looking for. I'm sure there's some self hating lesbian tif out there who wants you but here's hoping you never cross paths.

No. 391782

>>391780
>I'm sure there's some self hating lesbian tif out there who wants you
Thanks, that’s all I needed to hear.

No. 391785

>>391775
why not just go for a younger guy who’s like 18 and pre wall?

No. 391796

>>391775
Now imagine if a moid wrote this about TiMs. Gay as fuck.

No. 391797

>>391775
lol you're not straight. This was disgusting to read.

No. 391808

I've dated men but I've never actually been attracted to them sexually, I thought I would and I do end up liking their presence but most of the romance of the relationship I felt I was performing for them. To me it was just a platonic relationship with extra steps but I never told them that
The last man I dated called me a lesbian (as a deflect because he came out as a tranny) and even if I do find myself checking out women more and envisioning a life with them I've never dated one, never had sex with one and can barely befriend them IRL or online unless it's places like Lolcow
So I don't want to label myself but also I feel like if I do I'm letting the tranny ex win

No. 391858

Am I bisexual if I like straight porn?

No. 391862

>>391858
Most likely yes

No. 393342

File: 1713983373305.jpeg (51.48 KB, 736x414, IMG_2965.jpeg)

What’s my sexual orientation if I’m only attracted to women, and bc anime cross dressers? I think I’m a lesbian, but confusion comes because my husbando is Kuranosuke from Princess Jellyfish. I think he’s extremely beautiful, and he’s the only moid (fictional or real) that I have ever looked at with attraction. If he was real, though, I would not like him, because not even his pretty face could make me like penis. I hesitate to call myself lesbian in online anime spaces, because I find this character extremely attractive, I just don’t think I would ever have sex with him

No. 393369

>>393342
Bisexual, maybe woman-leaning. I'm a lot like you (down to the appreciation for your husbando). Even if your taste in men is impossible to realize in real life (as feminine men are either gay or perverts), it's still OSA in nature

No. 393384

>>391775
Op what the fuck

No. 393456

>>393342
Lesbian.

No. 393463

>>391775
> It's like using a vibrator with a cute face.
Queen shit. You have my support kek.

No. 393525

>>391147
oops sorry for the late reply i forgot about this post. i have never been with a man but when i masturbate is super easy when i think of men so probably i would be super horny with a hot man. i noticed that i do have a small window of attraction to women during my menstrual cycle so i think im slightly bisexual due to those hormonal changes. wish i was more attracted to women because i'm unable to have romantic feelings for men and that sucks.

No. 393527

>>385979
You are gay

No. 393528

>>393342
>anons I think I'm lesbian because I'm exclusively attracted to women
>but wait no, I'm attracted to fictional 2d characters who're drawn to look like representations of women but teeeeechnically they have unseen fictional dicks so that must mean I'm attracted to men, right???
You're lesbian and retarded, next.

No. 393535

>>393342
bisexual. also this dude is ugly and ruined the show for me

No. 393542

>>393535
How is she bisexual retard? Did you read her post?

No. 393556

>>393542
did you read it? she said she's attracted to him.

No. 393559

>>393556
That's not a real man. It doesn't even look like a man. Go outside.

No. 393561

>>393559
oh you're one of those types

No. 393567

Is it gay to like girly men in makeup? Is it straight to like masculine women with short hair and no makeup?

No. 393569

>>393567
No but it also depends on what you think like means

No. 393577

>>393556
The "him" is a drawing and it's a drawing of a woman.

No. 393581

>>393577
it also looks like a faggy moid

No. 393582

This whole conversation is weird cause if it was a non-crossdressing animu guy and someone not into any kind of 3D at all, everyone would say she's straight. Or if someone liked shota/loli everyone would say pedo regardless of whichever 3D interests.

No. 393584

>>393582
Speak for yourself

No. 393588

>>393582
You're leaving out one tiny piece of totally irrelevant information: Anon said she doesn't like real life dicks at all.

No. 393589

>>393588
Yeah but aren't most the husbandofags the same way? Everyone thinks those posters are straight.

No. 393591

>>393589
Most husbandofags are attracted to real moids, they just hate men.

No. 393592

>>393589
Most husbandofags aren't into women they just don't want to fuck men because irl men suck, anon is actively attracted to irl women.

No. 393594

>>393342
At the end of the day, everyone has their own opinions on whether or not a drawing is indicative of real life attraction so it really falls on the person experiencing the feelings towards drawings (you) to decide their sexuality. It also depends on how moralistically pure you think a lesbian has to be in order to be a "true lesbian"; can a lesbian ever like a fictional male character and appreciate him nonsexually (in the way you seem to appreciate the Jellyfish guy)? Can/Should a lesbian only enjoy fictional women? What does fiction have to say about how we engage with real life? Farmers predominantly believe that fiction = reality, so asking this population of users is 8/10 times going to garner a "bisexual" response, regardless of nuance or caveats.

No. 393595

>>393589
I call myself bi but honestly the only men I'm attracted to are 2D, I've never met a real guy hot enough to want to fuck.

No. 393603

>>393595
Are you sure you're not gay? Or do you think you could ever find a guy attractive enough?

No. 393623

>>393603
100% sure I'm not lesbian, I fantasize about having straight sex with my husbandos, which I'm pretty sure no gay woman does. As for real men I dunno, I have a very specific type but even when I see guys like that I don't feel much, I think I know what sex with men entails and I'm immediately turned off.

No. 395906

File: 1715037118478.jpg (49.88 KB, 1001x764, 152702edaf3ac47ed1d9988ec406d2…)

just curious, but what would you call a woman who:

- dated both sexes before
- can think some men are good looking or even handsome
- felt like she had real crushes on men before (same with women obv) as long as the man is intelligent, nice, "not like other men", etc.
- yet doesn't find the male body to be a turn on at all? doesn't get turned on looking at dick, doesn't get turned on looking at male bodies in general, only women's bodies and pussy?
- has difficulty reaching orgasm when thinking of men, can only cum with women.

i could say maybe a female leaning bisexual but just wanted to know your thoughts.

No. 395908

>>395906
This was literally me in the past. Found the male form repulsive but found a very select few men cute in the face and only had sexual fantasies about women.
Eventually my preference shifted after many years and I’m very into male bodies now, still think most are hit in the face though. I’m still attracted to women and fantasise about them, but to a lesser extent than I do men.
I consider myself bisexual.

No. 395928

>>395908

thanks nonny, i kinda figure that she's more or less bi but you kinda sealed it in my mind for me.

No. 395932

i'm still spinning around in this god-forsaken toilet of questioning. People say "just go out and find someone you're attracted to and fuck them" but my precise problem is my sample size of people i'm attracted to is so small and complicated that I can't draw any conclusions or devise any tests. I'm jealous of everyone else who can go on an outing and see people they find attractive and understand what their sexuality is. If that sounds like you, don't take it for granted.

No. 396045

>>393342
You sound like a weird lesbian weeaboo. I was under the impression that waifus/husbandos were characters you have a sexual and romantic interest in (even if you wouldn't date them IRL, since a lot of villain yumes wouldn't), he sounds more like a favorite character if you think he looks good but don't want to have sex with him.

No. 398490

Do any khhv nonnas here also get very confused about their sexuality? I used to be confused all the time and I used to chalk it up to teenage hormones, but now I'm 22 and still feel the same way. I know I'm attracted to men on some level because fujocoomer, but I've never been attracted to a 3D guy. When it comes to women I get weird cyclical urges where I get really attracted to a woman (real or one made up by me) and want to eat her out but these fixations usually only last a few weeks so i don't know what to make of it. I can't tell if I'm bisexual of just porn-brainrotted because I have no experience to make the call.

No. 398628

>>398490
I'm sort of similar, and I would like to stop being a KHHV, but I can't because I'm not attracted to anyone around me. I feel like a neutered dog, compared to my peers. I'm 25 and I feel like a child who is missing a part needed to function in adult society.
I seem to like some sort of weird mosaic of male/female traits, but not either one in full. So as a result I don't wind up attracted to anyone.
I say that, but in my life I've had two celebrity crushes that were really, really intense, one male and one female (but both very androgynous). But apart from those two instances in the past (and btw they happened a fucking decade apart kek), I've never felt that sort of natural burning attraction to anyone, certainly not anyone in my actual life. I really want to though.
I play mind games with myself, trying to force myself into finding people around me attractive, convince myself I could be attracted to this person or that person if maybe I tried harder. But it doesn't work and it doesn't come naturally like it does for everyone else. I feel like a retarded child. It would be easier if I could say "I've never felt sexual attraction" and think of my self as functionally asexual, but I definitely have felt strong sexual attraction. And I enjoyed it. But not for anyone in my real life, even though I really, really, really want to. I have a feeling of deep and painful yearning but nothing to fill it with.

No. 399006

I have had sex with a man and would do it again, provided he is cute. I have had sex with a woman and would do it again. This makes me bisexual? I don't really care about having sex with either that much though, like if I never fuck again and remain single forever, it won't be a big deal.

No. 399007

>>399006
Are you serious kek

No. 399009

>>399007
What…? Am I not in the questioning thread?

No. 399021

>>399006
Yeah. If you enjoyed it both times and felt aroused by them and you’re not, like, sexually damaged and numb and going through the motions. But assuming you enjoyed it, yes it makes you bisexual.

No. 399038

>>398490
>>398628
I'm the same except older (31), I've never had a crush and nobody is attracted to me, I just feel like some kind of asexual blob and nobody can understand, always saying cookie cutte lines like "you just haven't found someone, you'll understand finally when you meet the one uwu".

No. 399087

>>399006
You can be any orientation and nkt care for having sex. You're bisexual.

No. 399115

>>399021
>>399087
I must just have a low libido then and not be particularly romantically-inclined. But this doesn't make me not bi… Sometimes it's nice to have someone confirm it, even if it's kind of obvious. Thanks.

No. 399385

Can a lesbian have autoandrophilia? I don’t ever wish to have PIV sex with my own vagina, but sometimes I think it’s hot to imagine my strap is attached to. I’m not attracted to the penis itself, but I like the fantasy of having one to have sex with sometimes.

No. 399424

>>399385
what…

No. 399455

>>399385
You can have whatever kind of ‘philia or fetish you want, honey. Those things are separate from your orientation. The human mind is an incredible place.

No. 399480

>>399385
I’m the same way, I’m just so jealous of the way men get to have sex with women. It’s not that I want to be a man, but the basic idea of being able to feel the inside of your lover’s vagina with your own genitals makes me so frustrated and jealous I could gnaw a limb off. I want to be able to feel the inside of her like that and get mutual pleasure from it. Sometimes I have dreams where I have a dick, but I never get to use it that way… maybe it’s for the best, it might make me suicidally frustrated

No. 399857

I think I might be bi but I don't know since I haven't actually done it with a woman and there's also the added confusion of women being hypersexualized in our society and me being a very lonely freak. I first started questioning when I was 23. At the time I saw a woman working in a grocery store and I was attracted to her but I don't know if it was because I was lonely. It's hard to tell because I am rarely attracted to anyone in my area and I don't think celeb women are hot. But lately when I'm horny, I often want to lick pussy and make out with a girl instead of be with a man. I'm also discovering late as I'm 26 and have always identified as straight.

No. 399871

>>399385
as long as you don't get autoandrophilia brainrot to want to do actually have a penis, knock yourself out. don't go too far or you will find yourself wanting to become a tif in the future.

No. 399895

>>399385
Speaking from experience this is a normal cope, I used to wish that I could "feel through the strap" asca form of intimacy. It's not autoandrophilia because that's specifically being aroused by the thought of having a penis and being male, wanting more out of sex with toys isn't the same as that.

No. 399948

>>399385
Seconding >>399895. I think it is common for lesbians who use straps to wish they could sync it to their vaginas like bluetooth. I think the litmus test is this: if a strap came out that allowed you to have full physical sensation, would you still want a dick during sex? If no, then I don't think it's real autoandrophilia.

No. 400188

How can I tell if my attraction to women is genuine or only brought upon by porn addiction in my formative years? I know the obvious answer is to get laid but its not that easy.

No. 400190

>>400188
If you know the obvious answer then why are you posting here? It’s not like anyone ITT will have any better advice for you that isn’t “just lick a pussy sis”.

No. 400203

>>400188
Porn doesn't change your sexuality. If you like getting off to women then you like women.

No. 400213

>>400203
The most watched genre of porn by straight women is lesbian/solo. This argument doesn’t hold up

No. 400218

>>400213
Nta but how can we trust porn ''surveys'' when they don't list cp, underage or incest when it's a well known fact that a lot of men watch that, also nowdays I'm sure most of these ''women watching porn'' are trannies

No. 400231

>>400218
Because lots of straight women literally admit that that’s what they watch? Even on this website, I’ve seen straight women say that multiple times.

No. 400242

>>400231
I've never had that conversation with another woman so idk

No. 400281

>>400231

I’ve been blackpilled on sexuality discussions here and anywhere.
Apparently being only attracted to women is the rarest thing on earth. You gotta be into dick and honestly I think some anons are pushing one social contagion (fake gay) for another (sexual ocd).

No. 400283

>>400203
I was 17 when I saw horse porn and though it was gross, I did become physically aroused. All I’m saying is the only real solution is to get out there. It sucks but I think this internet sperging will only cause more confusion. We don’t have much research on how the internet interacts with female sexuality to use online behaviors as a way of figuring out if someone is gay or bi or lesbian

No. 400313

I like women pretending to be men 500000000000% more than I like men or women. unfortunately this means my sexuality is not based in reality and does not apply to any real person, since it's the acting/role playing I'm attracted to, which makes no sense whatsoever. I'm not even autistic so I have no excuse to be like this.

No. 400314

>>400313
That’s just liking women but with a twist.
>not based in reality and does not apply to any real person
I’m not really sure what you mean, that does exist in reality. Women pretending to be men has been around for a while.

No. 400349

>>400313
I am this and I want this. I think it's just a weird form of bisexuality, at least for me personally, but it is a pain.

No. 400350

>>400283
Original anon, I’ve never been aroused by horse porn.

No. 400352

>>400283
>I saw horse porn and though it was gross, I did become physically aroused
If soyjaks weren't banned I'd have the perfect reaction rn

No. 400371

>>400313
Are you attracted to women normally outside of this? It sounds like a roleplay kink otherwise.

>>400188
Have you made an effort to stop watching porn (including male gaze media) and interacting with women in real life? Watching videos of people having sex isn't the same as wanting to gave sex with an actual person in your life. I spent a lot of my life as a shut-in sperg and I started having crushes on women when I stopped being logged on and worked a public service job. I used to be pretty messed up by porn too (I thought I was a made-up label like pansexual) because I was a virgin and I just observed others having sex, but I quit a long time before I de-NEETed and had a more grounded-in-reality view on my sex drive.

No. 400372

File: 1716554276970.jpg (21.03 KB, 564x573, 698e768d20b49f7ebf35c22aa9ad55…)

I almost exclusively masturbate to women and once had a lowkey crush on a girl in high school. I find androgynous women hot and am very self-aware around tomboy brunette women in specific and find myself wanting to look good to them. Beyond that, I have never felt the desire to go out of my way to pursue a woman in any shape or form.

Am I bi or a quirky straight girl?

No. 400375

>>400372
You're a bi but just say you're straight when questioned because it's cringe asf when a bitch who doesn't even date women calls herself bi. You're an honorary straight

No. 400377

>>400375
This answer confirms it for me. I'd never publicly claim the label because I'm like 5% bi which is negligent. Honorary straight it is. Ty nonnie.

No. 400547

>>400313
Me too. All my IRL attractions have been women larping as men…I feel like I'm defective somehow

No. 401213

is it possible for a straight woman to be accidentally psyoped into finding gendies attractive? is being exclusively attracted to women who are androgynous and no other type of women even truly SSA in the first place?

No. 401215

>>400372
if you have no desire to fuck women irl, you're not bi, no. if you masturbate to women then it's likely a term i forgot the name of but it's basically occurring because women are so incredibly sexualized that straight women can be "attracted" to them in porn context.

No. 401218

>>400372
You're not attracted to women because you 'omgg like tomboy brunettes xd". Super cringe straight girl shit.

No. 401219

>>401213
No and yes. Gender roles=/=sex. A woman isnt less of a woman because she wears pants and thinks that makes her a man, being attracted to her is just as ssa as being attracted to a woman wearing a dress

No. 401322

>>401215
>if you masturbate to women then it's likely a term i forgot the name of but it's basically occurring because women are so incredibly sexualized that straight women can be "attracted" to them in porn context.
NTA but if you find the source to this, please share. I'd like to read more about it.

No. 401418

>>401322
i really wish i could remember where i read it. trying to google just brings up people questioning and the "no woman is heterosexual" myth. but there was some kind of term for it that a smart feminist and sex researcher came up with and i've always thought about it. hopefully i come across it again

No. 401830

If I'm only aroused by depictions of heterosexuality in fiction because I'm disgusted by real male genitals, but am attracted to women both irl and in fiction would that just make me a weird bisexual?

No. 401833

>>401830
It’s probably safest to just call yourself bi, though personally I think it’s possible for lesbians to consume hetero porn because of the way porn rewires and rots your brain, but I think that’s an unpopular opinion here. There’s all sorts of shit people are into because of porn but not irl

No. 401836

>>401833
If she said she was disgusted by female genitals, you’d say she was straight.

No. 401876

>>401836
Ayrt, and maybe. But I think after being exposed to hetero media over and over again, it’s possible for nonna to learn to like it, even if she truly has zero attraction to dick irl. I don’t think fiction =/= reality. Again, I know this is not a popular opinion here

No. 401888

>>401876
Samefag, just realized I made a typo but it’s too late to delete. I meant to say I don’t think fiction = reality lol

No. 401897

>>401876
Nona you're right, I admit it's embarrassing but some of my first interactions with sexuality was through hentai and shit like that. I do think this is why I'm adverse to real, wrinkly and gross dicks as opposed to a perfect drawn one and because the real dick is attached to a real moid. I guess I'm just febfem.

No. 401903

>>401876
I agree with you. Psuedo-bisexuality due to things like early porn exposure, being a woman steeped in a hypersexual culture, being a tranny who has to go prison gay to find a partner, etc., have been documented fairly well. I don't know if the original anon is bi or lesbian, but I wouldn't rule out either because I really don't think fiction always maps 1:1 to irl preferences and attraction.

No. 401913

>>401876
>>401903
Nta but I'm curious, what are your thoughts on comphet?

No. 401920

>>399948
someone invent this

No. 401986

>>401913
Comphet is real and well-documented, but it has also been misrepresented by people who don’t really understand what it means—like the creator of the infamous lesbian masterdoc. I think learning to enjoy hetero media and desiring the socially acceptable fairytale romance it portrays could be comphet, especially since there is so little lesbian media created for women, but obsessing over and wanting to fuck a specific moid, even if he’s fictional, is not what comphet is. Regarding hetero porn, I wish I could cum inside a woman like moids in porn do ngl, and I find it hot in theory, but I got called gross and heteronormative or something like for saying so in the female fantasies thread kek

No. 401991

>>401986
DA, it's been a long time since I read the original easy but I thought it made some good points despite being written by a polilez. Unfortunately that's how a lot of political theory is, people who are wrong or bad can still make good points. Notably it argues that all women go through compulsory heterosexuality, including OSA women, which explains why so many in my life drop their values for their Nigel. (I knew a liberal girl who dated a Trump supporter…) Things like how women used to have to be married to open a bank account and other basic rights are compulsory heterosexuality because it requires partnering with a man regardless of a woman's feelings to navigate society (and a lot of straight women who are attracted to men will also hate their husbands but feel like they "have to").

>I think learning to enjoy hetero media and desiring the socially acceptable fairytale romance it portrays could be comphet, especially since there is so little lesbian media created for women, but obsessing over and wanting to fuck a specific moid, even if he’s fictional, is not what comphet is.

It is, IMO. I was a hopeless romantic as a kid but didn't know lesbians existed, so when reading love stories or shipping couples I inserted on the man. I never shipped myself with a male character or obsessed over "unobtainable" men like celebrities on the other hand, if anything I was like that with women.

No. 402008

>>401986
This is also how I feel. I think the original essay made some interesting points and was a well-formed critique of how social scripting for heterosexuality is usually steeped in misogyny, and how this can be uniquely difficult to navigate for a lesbian. The current colloquial understanding of comphet does more harm than good, though, because it argues that being legitimately attracted to men doesn't count if you have mixed feelings about it. It frustrates me that there has been no effort to differentiate a lesbian pretending she has a crush on a male celebrity to prove to herself and others that she's "normal" (because it's "safe" and there's no risk of actually having to prove it) vs. an OSA woman sexually desiring a male celebrity and finding him attractive (because it's "safe" and there's no risk of him hurting or disappointing her). These are very different things.

No. 402023

>>402008
>t frustrates me that there has been no effort to differentiate a lesbian pretending she has a crush on a male celebrity to prove to herself and others that she's "normal" (because it's "safe" and there's no risk of actually having to prove it) vs. an OSA woman sexually desiring a male celebrity and finding him attractive (because it's "safe" and there's no risk of him hurting or disappointing her). These are very different things.
DA but the first thing was what I went through, and before the bisexual masterdoc was created I referred to that as "a comphet crush" because it literally was. I picked out a random singer from a band I liked as "my fake boyfriend" because there were rumors about me in high school. But then I see these women who are full-blown obsessed with fictional or celebrity men under the guise of "they're unobtainable"… Despite thinking about their bodies and being aroused by it.

No. 402087

>>401986
>obsessing over and wanting to fuck a specific moid, even if he’s fictional, is not what comphet is
I generally support this notion but then remember I'm the exact opposite of this. I've never obsessed with a male, fictional or real, but I have with women, yet I'm not sexually attracted to them irl.

No. 402140

>>402087
Can you elaborate? Are you saying you've had husbando-tier female character obsessions but aren't attracted to IRL women?

No. 402142