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No. 344673
Unsure if you're actually straight? Actually gay? Anything in between? Ask for advice here.
Previous:
>>153246Also welcome are "late bloomers" who realized their true selves long after their teen years who'd like to share their experience and tell others what signs to look out for.
Please be kind to questioning anons, no matter how "obvious" it might seem to you what they are.
No. 344812
>>344794>I'm too much of a chicken to bring it up with a doctor, my doctor is male and admitting to his face that I feel no sexual attraction feels really humiliating. first get a female doctor, it's normal to feel uncomfortable with a man.
>Worst part is I kind of don't even believe in asexuality, I don't think it's "natural" and I think it's likely related to my autism even though I'm about as high functioning as an autist can be. What if I just have fucked up hormones or something and don't know it?I do believe it's probably related to being autistic, a lot of autistic people seem to have atypical relationship to sexuality. but if you want to get hormones tested and this causes you great distress, talk with a female doctor.
No. 344874
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Since middleschool I've had few ‘crushes’ on boys (nervousness, butterflies in stomach, giddiness) but I've always been sexually attracted to women’s bodies. What could that mean?
No. 344965
>>344826>most asexual people experience no distress or sadness due to their asexuality, and a good portion of them do not get this “awkwardness” or uncomfortable around sex; just indifference and lack of attraction, a more “neutral” feeling than aversion.Where did you get this info from? I would describe it as more of an indifference than uncomfort. It's the fact that I know I "should" be into it that makes it feel awkward. That I'm expect to feel something but I don't know how, even if I actually like the person. It didn't even use to bother me until recent years when I realized I want a family with someone rather than to live all my life alone.
>it sounds like to me its more related to fear or aversion to physical intimacy, which is super common.I WISH that was it, but it's 100% not. I'm not a virgin, I have no trauma or some weird restrictive upbringing. I want to want intimacy but I'm just never ever in the mood for it. I've gone literal years without even masturbating as an adult because I just didn't ever feel like it.
No. 346627
>>346366Well I've done more thinking about this and I have a theory. Maybe my fixation on pussy is self-referential. As in, I know what would feel good if it was done on me, so that's why I get turned on imagining doing it because I'm just imagining what it would feel like? (Not that i want to fuck myself because ew). I think this might be the answer because I realized when i fantasize about eating pussy my brain always mirrors the sensation onto myself.
Does this seem plausible? Can any lez/bi anons confirm that this sounds different than how their desire operates?
No. 346635
>>346632The difference between you and I wanting to eat pussy is that I genuinely desire women and all that comes with them - their physique in its entirety as well as their personhood - meanwhile you're 'attracted' to a disembodied, two-dimensional mental image. You even elaborate by saying that your theory is that your pussy fixation is self-referential, and that you don't care about other aspects of a woman, so I don't know what else there is to say; it's clear it's just a fantasy you developed, potentially with influence from our F/F bisexuality-fetishizing porn-obsessed culture. Which leads me into why it's common among hetero women: porn-brained men think two women fucking is hot and the internet is obsessed with trying to convince everyone that they're heckin' queer/bisexual and that being straight is boring/vanilla, so imagine what constant exposure to this does to someone. I've had a homophobic Christian "marriage is between man and woman only" woman brag to me about how she slept with another woman for a man's pleasure… not that that's entirely comparable, but my point is that it's not impossible for hetero women to be okay with doing sexual stuff with women. Plus, with the state of men nowadays, I think it's easy to understand why women would mentally start grasping for straws in terms of subconscious attraction to the idea of being bisexual or attracted to pussy. Sorry to ramble, just listing off some potential reasons why this attraction may have developed in you and why it develops in other het women.
>do you have any advice for stopping the fantasies?Unfortunately not, but I wouldn't think hard on it. Many people have fantasies that they love thinking about while masturbating or sometimes while having sex, that they wouldn't want to step-by-step actually play out. Our brains are weird like that. I wouldn't put much stock into it or stress about it, anon.
No. 346638
>>346635>>346635I mean, I’m not denying my attraction is not the same as yours or saying that your examples of women showing off for men don’t happen, but I just want to say for me it’s definitely not due to thinking about men getting off to me eating pussy, that’s creepy and a complete turn off. That’s actually part of my problem, ever since I developed this fixation on pussy, I stopped being interested in men sexually.
>I wouldn't put much stock into it or stress about itYeah but like I said my old fantasies have gone away in favor of this current thing so I kind of have to stress about it because right now I’m stuck with a sexuality (I know it’s not a sexuality I’m just trying to describe the feeling) that I can’t apply to real life.
It’s like my experience doesn’t fit any typical explanation or label which is why i called it brain damage. It’s just really isolating having something like this develop and disrupt your life and no one can explain why, or even what it is.
No. 346693
>>346634How about you imagine a moid doing those things to your pussy instead? Or
a pussy, if it's too difficult at first?
No. 346715
>>346693I thought about your suggestion (thank you) and I’m not sure what to make of what I realized. For some reason it kind of disgusts me to imagine a moid eating me out, even though I used to fantasize about it in the past. But imagining a man doing that (or having sex with) a woman who is not me is okay, although the problem is I still wind up mostly focusing on the woman and how she feels, and if I think too deeply trying to picture a real guy, it turns me off. Which kind of brings me back to square one with getting caught up in the weird reflexive/mirroring thing instead of focusing on the man.
I used to have a handful of male actors and characters I’d fantasize about being with, and I’ve tried to go back to that, but it doesn’t turn me on at all anymore. Writing this out makes me realize this sounds like some sort of trauma response, but I’ve never had anything traumatic happen to me, especially not sexually. I was googling last night about if there were any observed cases of a person switching sexualities after brain injury, and I didn’t really find anything kek, and plus I didn’t hit my head so I guess that’s a stupid theory too.
If this fixation on pussy was the only aspect, and it wasn’t paired with a sudden revulsion towards men, I feel like this would be easier to brush off because I could just focus on the men I like and ignore this weirdness. But I don’t have that to fall back on because my attraction to them has mysteriously disappeared without explanation and was completely replaced with this fixation.
I guess the only thing I haven’t admitted yet is that this all happened after I developed a big crush on an androgynous woman, not a TIF but did dress like a man and flatten her chest. I guess what I liked about her was her “masculine” features that were more soft and elegant than an actual man’s but just as handsome. I did also have a crush on an actual (not on hormones) TIF back in early high school… but I just wrote that off as confusion and forgot about it and tbh I was too young for me to really properly evaluate what I was feeling. That got me thinking though that maybe I just have a thing for TIFs? But then again I really don’t like the ones on hormones because of the voice change. And if this was a thing for me why didn’t it pop up until now in my life? So all in all idk and it just makes it more confusing which is why I avoided even bring this part up in my first posts…
No. 346748
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For women:
>sexually attracted to women since puberty
>get physiologically turned on by women
>sexual fantasies involve women
>enjoy beauty of women
>but can't envision myself having a relationship with one or actually living out those fantasies; it just doesn't feel right?
>never had a crush on any specific girls, although I've had few female friendships
>always feel weird and autistic talking to girls
For men:
>not turned on by men at all
>don't find men good-looking, at best they're stylistically interesting
>find male bodies repulsive I hate penises
>magnetic desire to have relationships with men however?
>can only envision myself dating a man
>have had many male crushes, but paradoxically without really finding them attractive? Just like "I really want to be close to this person and get to know him"
I have had a boyfriend for a long time, whom I really cared for. He started as my best friend and I still sort of viewed him that way the whole time: as my closest friend. I don't get turned on by him, but he's the only guy whose body I don't feel disgusted by, so I like examining him like a retard scientist studying some creature (he thinks it's a weirdo thing to do but lets me). A lot of people have said he's not good looking but I don't really care. I've hated every sexual activity we've done and wasn't aroused for a bit of it. I would fantasize about him sometimes but was really in it more for the emotional intimacy and would think of women again if I wanted actual arousal.
(He knows all that, btw, says he's fine with it. Recently I've wanted to break up with him for irrelevant reasons)
He and my friends who are familiar with me all call me a lesbian but I feel like it'd be stupid for me to say that since I have no desire to pursue women. I just have thoughts and sensations about women, I look like a normal straight girl to any onlooker. I feel kind of awful about my situation since I feel like I will never be normal with either a man or a woman. My ideal is maybe marrying a guy and never/rarely having sex. What do you make of this? Am I just stupid
apologies for ESL
No. 346750
>>346748if you may be a lesbian, it seems it's creepy he's still willing to be with you but maybe i'm being harsh. you might simply have such internalized homophobia you can't recognize it. lots of lesbians used to identify as asexual or use the split attraction model to deny their sexuality, you may be in a similar boat of being that repressed. or you have a very low libido.
>I look like a normal straight girl to any onlooker.plenty of femme lesbians or more feminine lesbians are in this same boat, if you're not a butch or dress in a specific style that sounds expected.
No. 346769
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Every time I’m with this guy he asks me if I’m gay or bi? It’s weird cuz like i feel like I’m in love with him but on the other hand I don’t really get off to him when he is physically around I feel like my pussy dries up. But as soon as he leaves I’m wet and horny af! Idk if it’s nerves or what! It’s not just him it happened with every guy I’ve been intimate with. This current guy is literally my type to a T but I realize I like the feel of my own soft hands cuz when he touches me I just feel dry callous man hands and it turns me off. His hands aren’t even dry they just feel dry compared to my own.
I’ve always thought about being with a woman but I just don’t think I’m worthy to ever date one and I don’t want to waste someone’s time and be that straight girl plahing with a lesbians heart. So I just stick to dudes but idk it’s like I like the idea of men and having sex with them but not the reality
No. 346774
>>346748It doesn't matter what you think of when you're jerking off, you're a bihet and bound to end up with a man you feel no desire towards. Be honest to the women you're so AttRaCtEd to, don't waste their time. Because you'll eventually dump them for an obese Nigel anyway.
I'm straight and honestly you whores annoy me so much. Oh women are so beautiful and sexy but I could never see them as romantic interests and people with emotions, only fuckdolls to use and discard. I get goldstar only lesbians now, gosh you people are fucking annoying
(bait) No. 346811
>>346750>internalized homophobia I guess that's possible, a lot of it isn't really not wanting to be with a woman as much as not knowing what that would look like for me. I'm not repulsed by the idea.
>>346774I don't call myself lesbian or lead women on, precisely because I feel like some online poser. My thoughts are secret except to certain friends and I don't exactly agree with their takes.
>>346788I used to claim bisexual but I felt awkward about it due to fears that I'm being disingenuous about it. I don't really call myself anything right now and I never agree with my friends weird attempts to label me.
I don't regularly have sexual contact, we've only had sex maybe 3 times. People say it "gets better" but it gets worse. Tbh there are reasons I feel like I can't leave the relationship easily (don't want to say due to private info being linked to it) and i got complacent. Part of why I'm trying harder to leave now is because I wouldn't be able to stand having sex again.
>>346791I don't seek out men to date, this is the only guy I've ever been with and it just sort of happened because we already spent time playing video games and watching movies and such together. I knew him since I was a kid.
>>346798I probably will leave in the next few days. Just need to sort out some complications.
No. 347926
>>346366>>346715I'm still thinking about this and I feel like maybe it's just that female
genitals and butt are just prettier and cuter than dick and balls. Or like, more elegant. Lately my attraction to men is coming back a bit but I just can't get into dick and balls like I used to for some reason. I can't shake the feeling that they look kind of hilarious and stupid hanging off of them like that. Female genitals look so much more well-designed and compact compared to male ones. Do any other straight women feel the same?
No. 349282
>>347201You might be a lesbian. The fear and avoidance can sometimes be mistaken for reasonable fear of males as a het/bi woman (especially with your history of being victimized) but if you have no drive to actually be intimate that's still a huge flag. Compulsive thoughts about rape are also a flag imo, you're aware of what men want to do to you and you're internalizing it. That intimacy with males only comes up as violation is very poignant.
Wanting to be with men but not being able to go for it is one thing, but not feeling that drive is an indicator. Sexual attraction is magnetic, you really feel it in your bones. You do seem inexperienced just based off you not knowing if you like men at all vs you knowing you like women. If you consummated with a woman and still had doubts then I'd say you're probably traumatized and bi but you sound like you're a virgin to me. Don't label yet, get some experience as it comes naturally and then you'll be sure. If you start dating men then it's going to muddy the waters because they are masters of coercion either by direct means or by baiting sympathy out of you. You may get roped into acts you don't actually want but won't be able to contextualize as violation because you may be coerced into consent. Start out with women you feel a genuine attraction to and take it slow. Just be honest and don't attach a label just yet imo. Best of luck.
No. 349938
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Recently, I have been experiencing and orgasming from sexual fantasies about other women. For a long time in my life, I believed and thought myself to be a heterosexual woman. However, recently, I sat in my room and focused on imagining myself having sex with a woman to answer my own question about my sexual orientation. Expecting myself to be grossed out like I was years before, I just wasn't. I enjoyed all of the features to such thoughts with other women. The kissing, the cuddling, the groping, the cunnilingus, fingering, etc. At first, I believed this reaction to the fantasy to be due to my relaxed emotions at the moment. But the fantasy kept going back into my mind, making me sexually aroused everytime I closed my eyes and thought about having passionate sex with a woman. Putting my fantasies to the test and see if they had any weight to my arousal, I decided to masturbate to these fantasies…but contrary to my expectations, I never failed to orgasm. I attempted to cope by telling myself that my reaction to these fantasies meant nothing, and that I must still be heterosexual. But I couldn't help but ponder how valid my heterosexuality must be, if I'm aroused to the concept of having sex with women. I tried telling myself that this attraction to women could be from loneliness, or desperation. However, I have never felt lonely, or desperate for a lover go be in my life. Not even with men, who I believed I was solely attracted to.
I want to say that I would be comfortable with the idea that I may not be heterosexual after all, but I have fear about the real memories I have with experiencing homosexual activities. As a child, I have been taken advantage by all of my best friends, which were all female. Though these relationships didn't all happen in the same time frame, they all introduced me to kissing, licking, and dry humping. They even pressured me into taking off my clothes around them. However, although I look back at these memories with disgust, how I felt in the moment of these events had been enjoyment. Now, I fear that my newfound attraction to having sex with women is actually a subconscious coping mechanism to move past what happened to me as a child. I'm afraid of allowing myself to keep enjoying such thoughts about other women, afraid of letting my mind normalize the disgusting things that happened to me in those fragile years of my life.
I believed that I understood myself quite well. But it seems that everytime I get closer to understanding myself, the less I really know the person I am. It feels pathetic to be an adult and still not know such basic things about yourself. I don't trust my mother enough to tell her about these thoughts, and I have no friends to vent to. In my life, I'm all I have about this new issue with myself. It shouldn't be this hard for me to move past this problem, but the attraction to women won't seem to go away. I don't understand what's happening.
No. 350079
>>350062Ayrt, the way you described it as
>You might be trying to cuddle the wrong sexhas me rolling because it makes it sound like I’m a confused male zoo animal trying to hump another male kek
But I’m not convinced there is a “wrong sex” when it comes to cuddling? I’ve always wanted to cuddle with other females much more than males. Maybe it’s some sort of weird maternal thing, since little kids typically like cuddling with their mom more than their dad and I think that’s natural (?) so… I’d almost posit that females are just objectively more cuddleable. (Generally softer and cleaner and more into cuddling themselves, while men tend to complain about their gfs wanting to cuddle with them etc). And I don’t think thinking that makes me gay. But the world says it does make me “not straight”. I just don’t get it.
No. 350103
>>350089>straight girls are just repelled by anything more intimate than a hug when it comes to other womenReally??????? But then you say you and your friends would spoon, how does that work, unless you guys aren’t straight…? And yeah spooning is definitely more intimate than I have ever been with friends. I’m just confused because I get conflicting messages like “oh yeah I basically make out with my friends all the time that’s normal” (which I’ve never experienced) but then also “uh no that’s not something straight friends do.” As for me personally I have mostly an urge to nuzzle with my head and kiss someone on their temples or something. Sounds weird to type out but yeah. I wouldn’t do it with les/bi women though out of principle because I feel like it would send the wrong message which is unfair of me to do.
I guess this whole line of thought is kind of stupid though because I don’t even have any irl friends and haven’t in years and probably won’t have any for the foreseeable future at this point so what do my desires for cuddling even matter when it’s not like it’ll ever happen. Maybe I’m just lonely and it’s manifesting weirdly.
No. 350192
>>349282thank you anon for such a thoughtful reply, i took some time to mull it over and i think you're right. all through my life i had very intense female friendships and fantasized about having a female partner when i was older. notably i had none of those thoughts about men and instead felt repulsed by the idea that i might have to marry one. i think that's a strong sign, as you said.
you're also right that i'm inexperienced, i'm in college but i've never dated anyone or had my first kiss yet. i worry sometimes about that inexperience, especially when i see my friends hooking up with people and dating but i figure i'll wait until i'm ready to do those things.
thanks again anon, it felt good to talk to someone about it. i'll try take my mind off it and focus on other things until i'm ready to get out there.
No. 350267
>>350103kek nona I said SOME straight girls, not all. for your census purposes, im lesbian and the women ive cuddled with were mostly bi, but there were also straight girls who liked the contact. spooning, extended hugging, laying our heads on each other etc, its not like everyone did just the same thing either. kissing on the temple sounds a little weird to me to do with just friends, but there are people who kiss all their friends on the cheek so you just have to find someone on your wavelength, i guess. i also like head nuzzling tho.
i think your intensity could be influenced by deep loneliness, which is understandable, and you can take the edge off it by making friendly acquaintances to scope out to be friends with later idk. i definitely experienced it before. best of luck with improving human contact, nona
No. 350338
>>350320whats this doomerbait mindset
nonnie? have hope, you're "fixable," you just sometimes wish you weren't so you could give in without guilt
>also not totally straightan easy litmus test is if you want to touch and/or eat pussy you're not straight. or try imagining marrying a woman and spending your lives together
>friendly acquaintances but I don't enjoy my time with them even though they're nicethat happens a lot, it just means you haven't found someone compatible. it could also mean you dont let yourself try to get closer to friendly acquaintances and so feel dissatisfied over something you can control
>I have a physical craving for cuddling and closeness but I don't enjoy socializingyou want intimacy and closeness NOW bc you've been lonely for a long time, that is a normal desire that unforch cant be fulfilled right away. you dont enjoy socializing bc you dread using your energy for something that might or might not have rewards, and bc the ppl you reach out to might not reach back
>i was just born wrongabsolutely incorrect, you were just born into a messy world filled with complicated people and complicated systems. stop doing morality math with your life and thoughts, you can do it
nonnie!!
No. 350398
>>350338I don't think the touching pussy thing is a great test. Many of us don't want genitals out of context especially while we're virgins, doesn't mean we're asexual lol. The smell, the feelings, the texture etc become intoxicating in person but if you ask a female virgin about genitals they often don't have a very positive response, usually it's lukewarm at best (pussy or dick, I've seen this in both OSA and SSA women who are inexperienced). As for spending lives together, some people just can't picture a future in general. Especially if you're not an avid media consumer fantasizing about things like this won't come so naturally to everyone. Some people don't have very strong sex drives either, that is a huge reason why people get confused. If any of the anons here had high sex drives or enough intimate experience they would not be questioning to begin with.
I do think that anon is being a doomer though, some things just take time. Don't put yourself down for being lonely and liking cuddling, this is not something that makes you a FREAK WHO CAN'T LIVE IN SOCIETY. Come back down to earth please!
No. 350820
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i have no idea if i'm bi or a lesbian or what. i realized i was attracted to women very early on in life. i remember having crushes and kissing other girls at like age 8 when i was just learning what that stuff was. i had girlfriends throughout secondary school, i never wanted to date men. i was pretty much out as a lesbian in school and i was badly bullied by my classmates for being gay and i got so much shit from my conservative/homophobic family. my father found out i had a girlfriend and made me break up with her and stop spending time with her. after that i really wanted to be bi because i thought it was better than being a lesbian since at least i could have a "normal" relationship. i started to think that because there are some men i think are attractive i was actually bi, just with like a 95% female lean. i got a boyfriend in uni and we dated for less than a month. he was way more into me than i was to him and i was honestly pretending to be into him. just i really wanted to be straight and finally make my parents happy kek. we fucked a few times and it was awful, i realized that male bodies make me feel disgusted in real life. he would do the same things i like when women do but i would just be so disgusted and turned off because it was a man. i broke things off fast because it just felt so wrong and weird. dating women has always felt so easy and comfortable. i actually enjoy sex with women, it's never been weird or forced. i crave the emotional connection with women and i could never have a life partner who isnt a woman. i think although i can notice some guys are better looking than others and appreciate a man's appearance in terms of aesthetics, i am not attracted TO them. i can never see myself wanting to date a man, i don't fantasize about men or think about them in a romantic way. i feel really embarrassed and bad about having an ex-boyfriend and i don't know if i can actually call myself a lesbian since i willingly fucked him. should i just say i'm bi with a strong female lean or a febfem or whatever?
No. 351162
>>351161Wait yeah, sorry for samefag but I do genuinely have this question. I had big crushes on guys (sometimes forced ones) in elementary and middle school but then once I entered high school I only loved women and only wanted to fuck them, and I never liked guys again. Some of the guy crushes felt genuine back then, though.
Also I started having gay thoughts when I was 11 so for a few years I thought I was bi. Now I just identify as a lesbian.
Has this happened to anyone? Was I just faking straightness or is something else going on?
No. 352436
>>352233>I don't think I could truly have a romantic, sexual relationship with a woman because I'm really hardwired to find men attractive>I've never had a crush on a real woman>I can't give another woman a long term relationship like marriage if she wanted it>but I don't do hookupsYou don't sound bi. Maybe stop watching porn for awhile or look into resources for healing from early onset porn use, because it likely warped your sexuality. Watching videos of other people having sex or masturbating isn't the same as having sex in-person or feeling attraction to someone, it's just cheap stimulus to get you off. Back when I watched porn it was mostly background noise to get me off faster, I had no attraction to the people in it or interest in doing the things I saw with someone I loved (which was when I realized it's unhealthy for my understanding of my own sexuality).
I notice it's so common for straight women to be brainwashed by oversexualized media imagery of women just as much as men are; If you think a conventionally attractive woman in porn or a celeb is superficially "hot" but you wouldn't have sex with and/or be romantically intimate with one, I don't see that as same-sex attraction.
No. 352516
I feel like a stunted idiot a lot of the time. I knew I liked women from my teenage years, but was raised in a very homophobic, religious family with helicopter parents who controlled my every move. In college, I was asked out by a man and said yes, resigning myself to the fact that that was the only path I could take that would please my family. I stayed with him for several years and had sex maybe three times, in which I would get high, starfish and pray for it to be over as fast as it could. At the end of the relationship, I was proposed to and said yes, told my family and everything, but a month later I cut it off because it was making me feel sick with guilt and grief. I feel like the entire time I was with him I was walking through some kind of dream world and trying to make everyone happy while basically dissociating from life, and that was the thing that finally woke me up. The idea of marriage and children with a man repulsed me so much, even though I stayed there for so long just going through the motions. And he wasn’t even mad at me because he knew I liked women the entire time, but he was regretful he didn’t leave earlier. I think he stayed because I was a “safe” person who just did what I was supposed to do. I feel like I’m broken inside or something. Who commits to something like that for that long knowing they don’t like it? I’m terrified that any woman who meets me will think I’m insane for what I did, even when I say and know I’m attracted to women only. I would probably kill myself if I continued on a path that forced me to be with a man again.I feel like I endured so much trauma growing up that it really fucked up my life. Even here, I keep expecting to be berated for doing nothing for so long and thinking I could just be used as an example for other people on how not to exist, because I was so fucking miserable through it all. What kind of person does that? I don’t know where else to post this, because even though I’m not questioning my sexuality, I’m terrified other lesbians will find me disgusting or tell me to get out. I have a few friends who are lesbians, but I can’t even talk to them about it because I feel like they’ll think I’m batshit and fraudulent.
No. 356316
>>344673I wonder what lolcow will say about me. I live in a homophobic country and I always struggled with homosexual attraction irl, but when it comes to masturbation I usually go to het fanfiction, though I never felt any attraction to a male irl and never to any actor
I tried to skim female-centric places like Pinterest, or here on /g to find a male that I would be attracted to, but failed, but sometimes to a 2d dude with a male VA. I don't have much sexual experience, but I had sex with women and a TiF and I'm currently like on a 3rd year of celibacy and not willing it to break it to try a dick or something, though I do have a penetrative vibe. I also suffer from schizoid personality disorder, so maybe my sexual orientation is just classical
femcel kek
No. 356563
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Thought I was bisexual for awhile but have only dated moids and I always envision my future with a moid. The idea of sex with a woman doesn’t gross me out but it doesn’t really excite me either. I think women as a whole are more attractive than moids but I can’t think of a time where I was truly as attracted to a woman as a man. I have felt attraction on some level but it was never as intense as it is with moids. Accept that I’m straight and just want to be with moids, THEN find this instagram influencer who looks exactly like the moids I go crazy for but is a gnc lesbian and I kinda want to fuck her??? I don’t even know anymore.
No. 356871
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What does it mean if I only like women with short hair. Even if it’s the same woman, if she has long hair I feel nothing but if she cuts it suddenly I think she’s cute. This might sound retarded but I went out to watch the latest Saw movie with a friend and thought the saw guys assistant lady with the (admittedly stupid) short hair cut was really cute (picrel even though you can’t see her hair kek there aren’t many pics on google yet), but then when I got home I looked her up and saw pictures of her in previous movies with long hair and different styling and she did nothing for me. What gives…?
Also I feel like maybe I never realized I might be into women because I never saw non-overweight women with short hair? This might make me sound like an asshole but the typical slightly-to-majorly overweight short-haired butch never did anything for me either. At least where I am from you pretty much never see taller skinny women with short hair. But one day I saw a piece of media that included many long-limbed, short haired women and I could fall in love with any of them probably.
Is it normal to have a type this specific or am I just confused somehow?
No. 356872
>>356871Seems normal to me. I react the same way when a woman cuts her hair, though opposite of you I usually fall head over heels for them if they are chubby or fat, I just think short hair suits bigger women so well, especially if they have a cute, round face.
That's not the discussion though, kek. Having a type is completely normal. Getting together with someone with short hair and then breaking up if they decide to grow it out is not, by then you'd probably have fallen in love more with the person than the haircut, hopefully!
No. 356875
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i refer to myself as bisexual to keep it simple but i don't think i have it in me to feel any type of "sexual" towards a penis. it's not even the penetration that freaks me out because a woman with a strap is okay with me but going anywhere near a man below both of our belts is horror to me and 0% sexually appealing. i don't think i've ever really fantasized about having sex with a man, when i'm in the mood it's always been a woman and even when i was (briefly) in denial about my attraction i just repressed having a sexuality at all and didn't let my mind wander very far. when i'm horny i'm only ever thinking of a woman. but i don't want to call myself a lesbian in case i somehow find myself attracted to a guy (i know how homophobic this sounds, mr right and all that) one day and have… a family with him. it's probably because i want to make my parents happy since my brother isn't having any kids and thus the responsibility lies on me, and that they're extremely homophobic due to religion/my thirdie muslim environment in general. i want to spend the rest of my life with a woman and i'm certain that if i end up with a man i'll live with regret for the rest of my life, but the fact that there is a possibility is what's keeping me from calling myself a lesbian. i feel like if i really was one i wouldn't ever think of this. when i was younger and i first came out to my (older) friends they told me that i should wait it out and i'll see the appeal in men when i grow up, with puberty and hormones and everything, and i'm still waiting now that i'm 19 kek. i mean, i can definitely recognize when a man is attractive and even find myself drawn and expressed it, but it wasn't ever something serious. i just don't know. i don't know if it's retarded to be like "labels are for soup cans" but i've been struggling with this for the last 4 years.
i'll walk you through a bit of my history, i was 10 when i realized i was gay because i thought i couldn't ever be attracted to a male and just couldn't see why anyone would, and i was 11 when i came out to someone in real life. then, later in middle school i pretended to have a crush on an older guy with 0 intention of ever interacting with him in any way just so i could say i did and have fun with my friends because i thought i was supposed to have that experience (which i'm glad i did because that was one of the best years of my life, we had so much fun). that was also the time where i adamantly denied i felt any homosexual attraction because i was bullied a lot. before then i felt something of a crush on a girl from a grade above me but i didn't really want to be in a relationship with her either, just friends i was also a kpop fan kek as was she she just made me nervous and i was completely infatuated with her following her around everywhere and would draw her portraits i never handed her (thank god), she spoke to me once and it felt like i forgot how to walk after she left. then in highschool i reclaimed my homosexuality and some years later i fell in love with my bestfriend who actually said she liked me before but it was too late by the time i reciprocated and nothing came out of it, we fell apart and disappeared from eachothers lives since. i feel like i lack experience but i don't want to waste my time with a man ever and i don't think i could ever mesh well with one with the way that i am, i'm already reclusive and never been fond of moids and thus never had any kind of relationship with any not even my own family kek. so i don't know. i really don't want to be another example of a formerly-lesbian-labelled-newly-discovered-bisexual woman, i don't want to pose as anything and it feels wrong of me like i'm lying so i'm sticking with bisexual for now. i mean how would it look if i said i was a lesbian and i suddenly have a boyfriend or something. i guess it's not as serious as i'm making it out to be in the grand scheme of things but it's been agonizing me for years kek.
TL;DR: i am 100% certain in my attraction to women but i'm afraid i'll find myself attracted to males sometime in the future which i'm not sure of at all as thinking of them sexually doesn't ever cross my mind if not as a scary/gross intrusive thought, not to get off at. basically i don't want to call myself a lesbian just in case because i don't want to be one of those bisexuals and yes i know there's nothing actually wrong with that.
No. 356991
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Idk if im truely bi or whatever but i find myself strongly attracted to tomboys. Idk if its some sort of like brain mechanism thats like “masculine = male”, but last year when i was still a senior in hs, i developed this weird crush on this 6ft tall black tomboy girl and it was fucking weird because i could have sworn i was completely straight. She’s not even that masculine looking shes just a tomboy.
No. 356997
>>356991I have this same problem. Extremely androgynous women really do things to me. I remember when I was in (early) high school there was a TIF who I was acquaintances with who I had a crush on from the second she walked into math class on the first day of school because I couldn't tell if she was a boy or a girl.
My current crush is a woman with an unusually androgynous face and she gets insulted by people for having a "long, mannish face" but I secretly think she's the most gorgeous person I've ever seen in my life. If I was a sculptor I would sculpt 5,000 portrait busts of her. I hate poetry but I could write poems about every line and curve of her face. There's no man with a face that delicate around the edges and there's no other woman with a face that dramatic and sexy.
To further complicate things, though, my biggest and only celebrity crush in middle/high school was an androgynous man.
he's nothing compared to the sexiness of my new crush but whatever, I liked him back then.
I've definitely been into maaaaaannnnyyyy more men than women in my life though, so I was ready to write off TIF-chan as a 14 y/o's confusion… but then I developed a crush on the androgynous woman i mentioned that is bigger and more burning and intense than any I have ever had in my entire life. So all that to say… I'm lost too.
No. 357363
>>357343Hi nonni I read your previous posts and I think you're bi. You probably have a type for women (androgynous) and because you've awakened this attraction relatively recently it's quite strong and obscuring your attraction to men for now. I went through something similar, (repressing my type in women bc I was ashamed of the type I was into. Not saying this happened to you but it caused a similar intense fixation at first.) It sidelined my attraction to men for a while and tbh it's still that way. This is like intense bi-cycling if you're familiar with that term, (when you prefer one sex over the other for a while.) I think you should take this time to explore your attraction to women (since your mind is still on
pussy) It can be disruptive to your sense of self at first but I think it's worth it to work through these feelings. It's hard to predict when or if you'll go back to focusing more on men but I found crushes usually set off another round of cycling lol. As in, you crush on someone irl or an actress which will focus your attention to traits that crush has in other people. Like wearing suits, or glasses
or having a pussy.Also, it's common for people to have a "type." If your type is androgynous women or butch women
and you fantasize about eating her pussy your same-sex attraction shouldn't be put into question. People might doubt it themselves, (especially if you're bisexual) and tbh you'll have to be okay with that. It's imperative you delve into this yourself so that you can be sure of your attraction and you won't need outside input to decide your sexuality. Only you know who and what gets you off. Outside speculation can just further confuse you at a certain point. You have a history of finding men attractive so you are attracted to the opposite sex. You are now discovering you can be attracted to the same sex. This, to me, concludes that you are bisexual.
As for the "self-referential pussy eating" and possible influence of pornsick flavoured girl-on-girl het fantasies, it's important to make a distinction between the two. Projecting onto an objectified depiction of a woman bc you get off to being perceived that way by men is not the same as getting off on giving a woman pleasure because you know how good it would feel on you as well. The former involves a man's gaze, the latter is just between two women. From #my own fantasies# as well as reading the female fantasies thread on /g/ (you should check it out and post there btw it might help,) it's not uncommon to switch between roles in same-sex fantasies. (You pleasure her, you know how good that would feel on you, it intensifies your arousal imagining doing it to her and her doing it to you.)
Apologies if I rambled on a bit, but you'll get through this nonni it's alright! Don't work against what you are feeling right now, lean into it. Your truth is in you and you know it, all there is left is to accept it.
No. 357824
Not sure where to start - I’m late 20s so essentially a grandma in terms of exploration. I’ve always felt like there’s something off about my relationships, something wrong with me. In my straight relationships I just want to be abused in bed, but never cum and really get more pleasure from the pain and the ability to please or mentally dominate a man
With my current partner (man) I’m starting to orgasm after 5 years together, but only with a vibrator while I’m not paying much attention to him. I was with a trans guy for a while before my current bf. I wasn’t into the trans thing as much as I was turned on by his former masc lesbian self.
My relationships with women have always been way too intense and close - it’s always one best girl friend and always obsessive. So I don’t have girl friends anymore, and am scared of other women tbqh. It doesn’t help that I’m extremely hyper feminine - other girls seem to think I’m a pick me or full of myself because I’m conventionally attractive. I don’t think most women realize I’m afraid to be friends with them, so I don’t even have same sex friends anymore
My first sexual and romantic experiences as a kid were with other girls. I’d even tell people so and so next door was my girlfriend. There was a lot of “you be the boy, I’ll be the girl” play at sleepovers
Lately as I notice I’m not feeling passion with my bf, I’m also noticing how attracted I am to certain celebrity women, particularly Phoebe Bridgers and Margot Robbie. I regularly think about them dominating me when I masturbate. My bf gets visibly angry and aggressive anytime I mention a “girl crush” because he knows I’m really serious. The porn I used to pick was centered around violence and punishing women, and I feel so much repressed aggression towards women, usually anytime I meet a new woman at work I stalk her socials and get angry and/or jealous of her but then find myself really invested in knowing about their life and obsessing over them in private. Some of the jealousy stems from wondering if she’d please my bf better than I can, worry that she’d try to steal him, etc. But if you remove my bf from the equation I’m just shyly infatuated with (and afraid of) women I find attractive
Is all of this anger, aggression and weird obsessions with specific women just a way of my mind coping with extremely repressed homosexuality?
No. 357825
>>357824Forgot to mention that more and more often over the last few years, I dream about being with my female crushes, or having a beautiful gf that I’m in love with - and more than not
have woken up missing my fictitious dream girlfriends. I find myself really craving female connections but am so afraid to pursue female friends, especially with my jealous streak and obsessive tendencies
No. 357841
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i've known that i've liked women for a very long time now (probably since i was 8 or 9) and have pretty much always identified as bisexual with a strong preference for women. for the past few years i've been going back on forth whether or not i'm lesbian.
a lot of time i think to myself that if i lived in a perfect world where being gay was not as looked down upon i would just choose to date women exclusively instead of men at all. this is going to sound retarded but i usually just pursue men instead because it's easier IRL. my family isn't insanely homophobic but they would not see me in the same light if i was with another woman. i'm scared that this is the sole reason i date men, and not because i'm actually attracted to them. i'm a virgin so i can't go off of much sex wise, but when i masturbate it's almost exclusively to women. this is stupid
No. 357973
>>357972What if I don't want to though? the thought of eating pussy is gross and wonder how bi/gay women put up with it. A dick's easier to deal with and I'm a virgin.
I assumed internalized homophobia was to blame. Turns out I'm not into pussy. Women are nice–I'm not blind–but their energy's repulsive if that makes sense? I always had this affinity for men even as a kid but I could never put it to words. It's just…normal. I'm so use it that once I encountered my first lesbian, I didn't quite like their vibe and screwed off. Even now I don't agree with their taste but I respect it. No offense to any ssa nonnas here. it's a me thing.
>>356991It's perfectly normal. Even moids like the occasional femboy. Our mind is like a monkey. If it sees something it likes, neurons start firing and the little boat man tips his hat. I've had it happen to me a lot of times that I questioned if i'm bi or not. Ultimately, if they're naked, would I still like them? Answer's no because I'm not drawn to female bodies.
No. 357986
>>357058Dreams are dreams. Sure some of them have "hidden" desires or whatever but other times they're just dumb. You'll feel weird shit with them and after waking up for a bit. Have sex with a woman when you're sober if you want to see whether you like it or not.
>>357320Intrusive thoughts are intrusive, so if you're confusing whether it's actually gay thoughts or intrusive, it's most likely intrusive… Unless you have some sort of trauma, in this case it could be. Do you get pleasure from them but maybe feel a bit embarrassed? Or are they straight up uncomfortable and bad? Latter means they're intrusive.
>>357824First of all, late 20s isn't late to explore sexuality. Some women did learn in their 60s or 70s. I know you might not be seeking relationship advice but your relationship with your bf doesn't work out at all from what I've read, so why are you still with him if you don't feel any (or rarely feel) attraction anymore? You said in all your straight relationships you want to be abused in bed and the porn you used to pick was centered around violence and punishing women. Are you in a relationship with him because you're trying to imitate what you saw in porn? Is it a fetish for you, being humiliated, abused, degraded, dominated or something similar? From the things you mentioned about your childhood, you seem like a lesbian, however from the things you mentioned later it sounds like you have a screwed view of sexuality because of porn and your past experiences. I'm saying past experiences because surely (or most likely, could be wrong) porn couldn't have that much of an effect on you, so it must be something else that causes this. I think that before getting into a relationship that's something you should work on and ponder. Are you having self esteem issues or self destructing thoughts? I'd suggest seeing a therapist as well.
No. 358017
>>357986> Do you get pleasure from them but maybe feel a bit embarrassed? Or are they straight up uncomfortable and bad?Somehow… both. Idk.
>>357972I think you’re right but I’m really scared of pissing someone off or making them feel bad if it turns out I’m not actually into it after all, I know lesbians especially have a lot of painful experiences with fake bi women who turned out to not be into them and I don’t want to do that to someone. This is 100% the primary reason I don’t think I’ll ever do anything with a woman in real life. If it turns out bad I’d probably be so embarrassed and guilty I’d straight up kill myself of shame. Even just thinking about it makes me panic. My fantasies and thoughts in my head aren’t real and can’t hurt anybody, so I think I’ll just stay celebrate and stick to that. Also I’m not the other anon above talking about an exception, but I’m in the same boat. If my unattainable crush wanted to sleep with me I would absolutely not turn her down but other than her I don’t know. Lately I’ve been trying to tell myself that I’m not a bad person even if I am a misguided straight woman who fantasizes about a certain woman in my head. But I still feel guilty about it for some reason? Like I shouldn’t be allowed to fantasize like that about her because I’m straight and I’m fetishizing her or something or thinking of myself as bi when I’m not which is morally wrong. I don’t know what my problem is. If I sound insane that’s because I think I am.
No. 358139
>>357973Its interesting you say that, that attraction could be detected by how you feel about male or female energy/vibes
In contrast, for me, the energy of men repulses me. It feels like men are creepy and repulsive and take up too much space. Dicks seem alien and gross. And I don't want one near me, it seems ugly and filthy.
As for women, it feels much more natural to be around them and there's like a "carnal" attraction to hot women. Like I was almost "meant" to be with a woman. Meanwhile it falls flat with men, like a shallow disappointment.
But I still can feel sexually attracted to anime husbandos, so would that make me some strange flavor of bisexual?
No. 358154
>>358139I get it. I thought dicks were gross too because keep worming their way in lesbian shit but again, it's because two energies are at odds. having the masculine vibes downstairs never worked because the basement of a woman wasn't built for it. Contrast with guys, where it doesn't feel all that off. If a see male character with feminine energies overcoming the masculine vibes, my brain shuts down and I feel nothing.
The reason you find anime husbandos hot is their energy is vastly more feminine than masculine. My brain doesn't see those guys as male, thus I don't feel attracted to them. you, likewise, do. It's not crazy actually since a lot women can easily cosplay as these characters but most men can't.
not saying you are gay. who knows, maybe you never found a moid you liked. But once again, consider it during your daily think time.
No. 358191
>>358139imo its not a "strange flavor", i know quite a few bi women who like anime husbandos but are turned off by 3dpd moids and their hygiene/violence/general loserness/etc. theres been a new term coined for female-exclusive bi women for a few years now on radfem/adjacent spaces called febfem
meanwhile i and the lesbians i know never had husbandos bc the character is still male, and so by default, not anything we're even capable of being attracted to. genderbends of them can be a different story, but that's bc those are female versions of the character, yk?
No. 359067
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I feel stupid for saying this, but what does it mean if your fantasies are mostly… directed at yourself? I've always focused on the thought of what my own body would look like, and there'd be women and some select men involved but they're more like actors to set up a scene and I barely think about what they might look like. I don't really feel attracted by other people's bodies or drawn to have sex with anyone… I am interested in romantic relationships (in theory with either a man or a woman but I don't have much real experience) but it's purely based on friendship/intimacy and not physical attraction. I mean I still recognize when someone is hideous and I can appreciate when people look nice, but it's like seeing a pretty flower, it's just aesthetics and they don't arouse me. Why am I like this? It makes me feel guilty honestly…
what should I even call myself? Neither bisexual or asexual really feel right, at the least I don't really relate to stuff either group describes and they both sound misleading in some way. I always felt like the "asexual but thinks about sexual stuff and would have/want to have sex" thing was dumb too
No. 359093
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Reminds me of this comic. It's something a lot of people feel. But I think in our society because of how much a woman's appearance is valued, mostly women become hyperobsessed with their appearance and how they look to others. You may have ocd, body dysmorphia, insecurity about your looks, dissociation etc but there's also the case you're perfectly normal except this one issue. First you need to work on self acceptance and remember that in a relationship you should think about what your partner makes you feel not how you look from your partner's point of view. You have some other issues to work on that prevent you from forming relationships with other people.
No. 359282
>>359093I think I was like this to a larger degree when I was younger but not really nowadays. Idk, I'm self-conscious on camera but in normal life I don't really worry about my appearance and I'm pretty confident with my looks anyway. Idc about makeup or shaving if that proves anything.
I've had one ongoing relationship (with a guy) and we get along really well, we just don't do sexual stuff very often and that's not an issue for us, but I wish I felt attraction the way other women seem to…
Idk how to describe this exactly, but I don't really focus on how I appear to others in my fantasies, it's more like… strongly envisioning what it'd feel like to be in a scenario, and thinking about erogenous zones?
>>359131I had a similar experience, before I quit porn I would only watch videos with women only because I didn't get anything out of straight stuff. That and a lot of the porn moids were genuinely ugly. People tell me that's a sign of being les/bi but I've wondered if I'm not even attracted to women and it's just like a subconscious self-insert thing
No. 360048
I thought I was a lesbian until recently, I’ve never been attracted to a man irl nor have I ever had any romantic or sexual experience with a male, but this year I started being attracted to several male actors out of nowhere. No offense but I’m actually overjoyed, I hated being a lesbian and my family was extremely homophobic towards me so this actually improved my mental health significantly. When I was younger, I kept being told by therapists and psychologists that I was just so severely traumatized that I was repressing my attraction to males, I thought they were just being homophobic (and to a certain extent I’m sure they were of course) but I think they were technically right. Once I healed more from everything I went through as a child I started experiencing attraction to those actors. I’m probably never going to act on my attraction since I hate men and I’ve still never been attracted to a man in person, but at least I know I’m bi now and don’t have to hate myself anymore. I’m less suicidal now because of it.
I’m concerned about “coming out” as bi now though, I hate myself for being part of the stereotype of a traumatized bi woman thinking she’s a lesbian. In my defense, it really wasn’t my fault, I didn’t experience attraction to males for most of my life and felt repulsed by them and the thought of anything sexual or romantic with them. Most people irl didn’t know I was same sex attracted since I don’t bring it up unless someone asks, so hopefully it won’t be that bad.
No. 361632
>>361618>I don’t like facial hair/stubble or male stomachs so I can't be straightSexuality goes beyond superficial traits like these. There are many straight women who also find facial hair and "male stomachs" unattractive.
>Half-attracted to both sexes but neither fully?You haven't actually stated what you find attractive about either sex, only what you find unattractive.
No. 361638
>>360201When I was a teenager I was kind of pornsick and constantly looking at hentai/fanfics/sometimes IRL porn shared by friends/etc. warped my own perception of sexuality, because it was just looking at other people having sex instead of thinking about who I liked and wanted to have sex with. Especially since it didn't involve me, I would get bored of "vanilla" sex or romance stories and look at things that are more "new" and exciting to me (kinky, etc.) even though I wasn't into the idea of doing it in real life.
I think most artwork/stories aren't as bad as real porn and can be fine in small self-aware doses, but if you have little to no experience and it's your only exposure to sex it can mess you up in a similar way to people who watched porn at a young age. I became a
TERF/SWERF a decade ago and cut out IRL porn, but I ended up also "detoxing" from artwork/stories because my use was unhealthy and I feel like I have a more grounded view of my sexuality now without it.
No. 361652
>>361632Well, I guess I was trying (poorly) to get across the concept of liking and disliking a constellation of male and female traits, but neither enough to really want to get with either sex. If you want a list of what I like, then:
>broad shoulders>female hips/waist>tall stature>female soft lower stomach (vocabulary?)>flat chests>female thighs (males legs are kind of gross looking)>deeper voices (male and female)>big/defined noses (much more common in men)Etc. If you want to get into
genitals then it’s the same deal, there are certain aspects I like about both but certain aspects I find unappealing about both. One of the ideas that turns me on the most is
a woman with a big clit like some TIFs do It’s like I’m hardwired to be attracted to some sort of “androgynous ideal” that doesn’t exist in real life. I guess the people who come closest are TIFs, shamefully. But I don’t agree with transgender ideology, so it’s not like I could date them. Basically, what the hell is my problem?
No. 361663
I suppose this is more of a vent, since I don't think I'll ever find an answer lol.
Somehow I've known I "like" both boys and girls ever since I was a child - obviously, as limited as my understanding of relationships was. The thing is, I've never had crushes or _real_ romantic interest in other people. When asked for crushes, I've always picked an answer, since I knew I _had_ to like someone. I've been curious about relationships and sex, I've read a lot and explored the web, and I really really wanted to try it all out, but it just never really clicked. So, a couple years ago, I decided I was an aromantic bisexual.
In the last year, I've started questioning whether I'm really attracted to men at all. The aversion started to grow worse and worse. I had my first sex with a dude, whose looks I liked in general, drunk after a party, and while I felt neutral in the beginning, I've come to be so badly repulsed and poisoned by that memory that just thinking about it makes the brain go "no no no no stop". Now don't get this wrong - it was consensual. Mentally, I wanted to explore and touch a dick in real life, if only to know what it's like. But it didn't feel right. Long story short I realized then I am not attracted to men and dicks.
Women on the other hand… I am genuinely happy to be with women. I prefer women on all levels. I've come to completely phase out men out my attraction-related thoughts, and I feel quite comfortable with that. But here's the part three of this mindfuck: what if I try having sex with a woman & go through the same experience as I did with a man? What if I'm actually asexual? On the flip side: what if I'm not aromantic, but just scared/emotionally closed off? I'm somewhat autistic and my family wasn't great growing up, so perhaps it's just fear of intimacy in general?
I don't think I'm fit to enter relationships and "explore" anymore, because I don't want anyone to be subjected to all of this in any way. At the same time, how am I supposed to actually figure out this shit? Then again, someone once told me "Why are you trying to find a label? Just do whatever feels right, have sex with whomever you want, and stop worrying about nonexistent problems". I do think they're right, but for some reason I need to know lol.
No. 361705
>>361659Ah… thank you for your reply. I think you might be right, it’s probably most likely that I’m bisexual with a stupidly specific attraction to extreme androgyny. I guess I’m just mad about it, and I wish I wasn’t like this. It really makes me depressed. Specifically because I really want to have someone to give my love to, but my taste is so specific that there have only ever been like two people I’ve ever been attracted to in my life (24 y/o). And the prospects look grim:
>find an extremely androgynous person (rare to begin with)>they are not begendered (even rarer)>they like me back (impossible mode)I desperately wish I was just born with a normal sexuality like everyone else. I used to think I could be single for life and not care, but as I get older, I’ve gotten painfully lonely with a burning desire for a partner. It’s hard to find motivation to live knowing I’ll probably never even kiss anyone. I’m considering retreating completely into a fantasy world where I date my celebrity crush to cope, but I can’t take the plunge because I think I’d get too into it and it would consume me. Well, sorry to ramble. I still will hope that one day I’ll wake up and be normal.
No. 361721
>>361716>it honestly doesn't sound like you're into regular women from what has been describedWow… it’s almost like that’s exactly what I was talking about from my very first post! Excellent reading comprehension.
>you’re just into twinks I see like 20 twinks a day between real life and the internet, if I was “just into twinks” I would not be saying that I’ve only ever been attracted to 2 people. Twinks are too young looking for me, amidst other issues.
Basically, I’m so incredibly tired of certain anons jumping into this thread specifically to make sure any anons confused about their attraction to women “don’t think they’re ACTUALLY into WOMEN, right?” “Have you EATEN PUSSY?” (Author’s note: in my second post I specifically mentioned
having a thing for vulvas with big clits) “You’re probably just into dudes so don’t go around thinking you’re bisexual!”
I understand your knee jerk reaction and why you have it, but it does at times impede your ability to fully read and process posts before responding.
No. 361810
>>361705>>361721nta, guess you're just into extreme androgyny. I get it though, I'm kinda like that although a bit less extreme, I've been attracted to only a handful of people irl, and I doubt I'll ever have a relationship due to social ineptitude among other things.
Sometimes I'm really jealous of TIFs who date each other, whether they're prison gay larping animu boys or actually SSA, because many of them are my type, minus the gender retardation. I guess it has to do with some kind of narcissistic desire to be with someone who resembles me in both body and personality (I never trooned out but I was the kind of awkward nerdy girl who often become TIFs, and also I'm naturally very tomboyish). Could never date an actual TIF though, the delusion is too strong.
No. 361882
>>361855It just seems that you're very attracted to masculine traits in general, which can also be true for many straight women. Maybe it's just a preference, but I imagine that true attraction to women goes beyond having a preference—not that wlw (sorry for the acronym but it's easier to type out) can't have preferences, but there needs to be a general attraction to women/the vulva. Maybe this is true for you and I'm just extrapolating too hard.
>>361721Going to reiterate my point
>there needs to be a general attraction to women/the vulvaYou can have a strong preference for a certain look, but that can't lead to an eschewing of the entire sex outside of that look, especially when it's a very specific and unique form like yours (i.e. extreme androgyny)
>it’s almost like that’s exactly what I was talking about from my very first postYou need to be into regular women to be a wlw.
No. 361892
>>361882Second anon you replied to, can we take a step back to the beginning? because I still feel like you are creating a strawman (for what reason, I do not know) and not really reading my original posts. For example, I explicitly said in my posts that my whole problem is that I’m not attracted to regular men OR regular women, and elaborated on that quite a lot, yet you choose to
only focus only on the “regular women” part and then say that means I’m into men. My entire damn point was I don’t seem to be into EITHER. So if
>You need to be into regular women to be a wlw.Ok. Let’s say that’s true. So then it would also hold true that
>You need to be into regular men to be wlmSo if I’m into neither normal men or normal women, then
what am I? If liking physically masculine women doesn’t count as liking women, then liking physically feminine men doesn’t count as liking men. Curiously though you say liking twinks (one form of feminine man) would make someone straight? (Again… not into twinks, but that was your argument). Your own internal logic doesn’t even line up.
No. 361946
>>361892It's not a strawman; you asked about (paraphrasing) what was wrong with you and you are being given an answer (that in reality is meaningless because no one can tell you "what is wrong with you" but yourself). Also you have added points that weren't present in your original post that I am referencing, so apologies if I'm not covering them all.
>I’m not attracted to regular men OR regular womenI have read this much, and I already explained that to be a wlw you need to feel attraction to regular women. I assumed you are straight like most women are, and especially questioning women, so that's the basal point we're starting from. Your tendency towards masculine traits also says as much. This goes back to one of my other points about being comfortable in an intimate setting with a man or a woman—if you truly don't know what you're interested in, this is one of the only ways of finding out. At the end of the day, that's what sexuality is all about. The reality is that your "preference" is highly unusual (i.e. weird troon archetypes), and in any average adult it would be considered a fetish before true sexuality, TBH. If you're very young/adolescent (which I am inclined to believe) I can only hazard a guess that it's a mixture of hormones and consumption of certain media that is affecting what you find attractive.
Unrelated to the main convo but just points I wanted to highlight
>If liking physically masculine women doesn’t count as liking women
If you already knew that you liked women then this just be a preference for more masculine/butch women.
>Curiously though you say liking twinks (one form of feminine man) would make someone straight?
If you are presumably straight, then yeah, it still makes you straight (with a preference for "effeminate" men) because twinks are men. No. 361948
>>361882This is really dumb logic and it's implying the kind of women I find attractive are somehow less female. For what, not shaving and having a lean or strong build? Having androgynous features? Even when you get down to genitals, larger clits are still female genitals. This just sounds like the same gendie Tumblr logic that makes people think they need to troon out. The other nona brought this up too but I have very strict preferences when it comes to men as well, it's actually much harder for me to find one who is personally attractive and I think male genitals are gross. They need to be meticulously groomed and I think large penises are grotesque. Does that mean I'm not attracted to the male sex even though I still find certain males attractive? What label do I get then? These are just rhetorical questions to illustrate my point though. Sometimes I feel like a freak for my taste. My friends like to make fun of it and I've been accused of having hormone problems (I don't) but ultimately I'm comfortable in my bisexuality and have experience with both sexes enough to say that.
I'm just picky and I think the other anon
>>361892may be similar. Like you said, it's hard to find a very androgynous person who isn't genderspecial nowadays but I promise not all of them are deep in the delusion. I met an extremely androgynous-looking drummer a at a show a while ago and I legitimately thought he was a woman until he spoke. I talked to him for a while too– I asked politely and there was no gender identity stuff going on. He wasn't wearing makeup or women's clothes or anything, he was just a guy who was naturally extremely feminine looking and had long hair because he was a musician. Dude was like 27 too, it was a little shocking. It's much easier to find androgynous women though. You'd be surprised at how many just go along with gender stuff just to not raise hackles on social media but have secretly gender critical views. Just be careful. Living in a large, non-religious city definitely helps. Anyways, I'm rambling now but I wish you luck. Instead of ruminating on labels, it might be better to just go out and talk and flirt with people(might be hard since you said only two people have been attractive to you but two is more hopeful than zero!) Or try fantasizing about different things and see what fantasies you come back to. Hell, write your fantasies out in a word doc or something to get a better picture of what you want and delete the ones you don't like.
No. 361951
>>361946Your logic still makes no sense in the spoilered response. I’d try to go over why it makes no sense again, but I think I was pretty clear the first time, so I don’t really think it’s worth it. Seems like
>>361948 gets it though.
Lastly, you clearly have an idea of me in your head that you are convinced about, and assume other random things about me based on it, such as:
>you are a young adolescent incorrect, I’m almost 30.
>your media consumption created this fetish in youincorrect, I’m actually a weirdo who only listens to news radio and watches documentaries like a boomer
>you must like twinks!Incorrect, but I already covered that.
>You have a tendency towards masculine traits See the (non-comprehensive, I’ll add) list in my original post
>>361652 which is a mix of male and female traits, so again this is just a failure of your reading comprehension, or willful ignoring of things that don fit your strawman/stereotype of me you’ve constructed in your head.
Honestly all of the above has been extremely retarded and I’m actually embarrassed now to be seriously engaging with it, so I’m going to stop now.
No. 361992
>>361961Not going to respond to every point as this is going in circles. If you're nearly 30 you need to start putting yourself out there to see what you like, and frankly at nearly 30-years-old, saying something like
>If I don’t like boobs so I can’t be gay, but I don’t like facial hair/stubble or male stomachs so I can’t be straightis pretty juvenile, and uninformed at best, which has lead to this whole conversation. I'm not sure if you're struggling to articulate your feelings regarding men/women, but a strict attraction to androgynes is very unusual. If you're trying to imply that you're a wlw, then you haven't done a good job, given these contradictions. You've already said you're not into regular women
>>361892, so I can
not assume you are a wlw. You've already implied you have
no experience with women and
no interest in "regular" women. And I am not strawmanning anything, but your overly abrasive attitude toward simple skepticism based on information which
you had initially provided yourself (i.e. "I'm not into boobs so I can't be gay") is definitely making me less receptive to you. You came to this thread looking for advice on
real life concerns, so you ought to realize that we—as individuals who do not know you—are going to make assumptions to fill in the gaps on what we do not know about a stranger.
>>361961No she's not, referring to this post
>>361618>I don’t like boobs so I can’t be gayAnd this one
>>361652The "masculine women" thing keeps coming up and I think the issue is that it hasn't been defined. There is a difference between a "masculine" woman and an androgyne/TIF—they are emphatically not the same. The whole reason for my initial skepticism was that the original anon already stated they weren't "gay" (presuming no homosexual inclinations), so why should I assume that she likes women at all?
No. 362013
>>361992I’m the anon you’ve been talking to, and I just want to say
>>361961 is not me, so great job continuing to confidently assume shit about me. Like I already said, you are continuing to not read my original posts, since, just for example, you say
>regular women have hips you know! When I EXPLICITLY said I LIKED female hips in
>>361652. do you have reading comprehension issues, genuinely? Or are just incapable of absorbing information that runs contrary to your theory?
You coming at me like I’m some straight weasel trying to infiltrate bi and lesbian communities or something is bizarre and speaks to your own personal hang ups since I never claimed to belong to those groups. Like wtf?
>If you're trying to imply that you're a wlw, then you haven't done a good job, given these contradictions. FUCKING DUH. Oh my god. I never was, and the contradictions were the point, all I was ever saying from the start is what you say here
>a strict attraction to androgynes is very unusual. Yes, it is, and I know it! Hence my posts! Holy crap. Talk about missing the point.
And calling me juvenile for having an uncommon sexuality and speaking about it casually on a Mongolian basket weaving form… ok. Wow. I’m gonna have to say right back at you, frankly.
Anyway, above all I wanted to defend my honor against samefagging accusations, the most important thing, kek.
(calm down) No. 362044
>>362013I quoted the wrong post in
>>361992, I originally meant
>>361951 (the second quote was intentional tho)
In any case, I'm not reading everything you've written. If you're going to start typing in all caps that's a sign that you need to take a breather (and, I'm gonna say it again, it seems pretty juvenile).
>And calling me juvenile for having an uncommon sexualityNo, juvenile because you obviously have no clue how sexuality works, assuming that women are only wlw because they like boobs, or they are straight because they like "male stomachs" and facial hair or whatever. For all the rabbling that you've done about my reading comprehension, yours seems to be lacking quite a bit. In any case, you've already stated that you're not gay so you're not a wlw. I'm not going to validate you on something you've already denied, if that's what is making you so upset. You don't get some grand trophy for being a wlw in real life, outside of lc. At the end of the day no one on here can diagnose whatever weird attractions you have going on, so go experiment with other people (like I've said several times), if you are really so interested in knowing your sexuality.
No. 362052
>>362044I am at a loss for words. You truly are something. Still didn’t address anything I said, still making things up about me, but I guess that’s to be expected from your very strange responses every time previously— I’m the fool for expecting the third time to be the charm. Clearly you’re blindly determined about whatever it is you’re theorizing. Just odd all around.
Thanks to all the other anons who were normal in their responses, kek. I appreciate you, I just got too distracted by this weirdo to say it before.
No. 362475
>>362013Why was this banned, but not
>>361992 who multiple anons were disagreeing with? So people can post 5 paragraphs of retarded shit but rebutting it gets you a ban? Not to mention this thread is specifically for discussing the minutiae of sexuality, there will be disagreements but it’s the nature of the thread.
No. 362517
>>362513He was a boy at school the notable example. Aside from that just cartoon characters kek.
You’re not right about the seeking alternative part though, just more of a general wonder. I think that I need to properly date more men to make up my mind honestly. I appreciate your input nona
No. 362528
File: 1701637811555.jpg (119.94 KB, 550x504, Ronery.jpg)
How do I know if my attraction to women is genuine without having to sleep with one? I don't know if I'm legit autistic or something but I have never crushed on anyone real of any sex, be it irl or celebrities. I like yuri and I like some lesbian porn and sometimes women really turn me on but I still wonder if it's legit attraction and not porn brainrot or maybe trying to force an attraction that's not there. How do I know?
No. 362530
>>362529>You don't feel a strong attachment to peopleThis is true.
>and their genitalsI have no idea what this means. People get attached to genitals? What?
>so you're pretty much asexual or very low level sexual (either straight or gay but with a quasi-zero libido)I'm not asexual, every day I think about sex and masturbate.
No. 362542
>>362535>what is making you wonder if it's not genuine attraction?Well one thing is growing up in male Internet spaces where women are depicted and talked of almost exclusively sexually. The other is the early contact with pornography and yuri at 13yo. Maybe these experiences affected me and made me think I'm more attracted to women than I really am? Like you see lesbian fujos saying they can be fujos and still lesbians, then I think maybe even though I only consume yuri I'm also not attracted to the real deal? Honestly it's pretty hard to tell.
>I'm gonna repeat the theory I just posted like two posts ago where some women (esp very online nerds like you and I) don't have many crushes at a young age because they just don't go outside enough or live in the right place to encounter people worth having a crush onThis makes sense. I suppose I just need to meet more people and see if I become attracted to someone.
No. 362662
>>362606>do you have crushes on fictional characters?Maybe? I certainly feel sexually attracted to many anime girls, but I can't say the same of IRL women.
>I think you need to just expose yourself to more people IRLI see many people agreeing with this so I guess I must overcome this anime brainrot and interact with real people…
>but I lost a lot of interest in yuri when I discovered my type of women IRL.That's interesting. Hope it doesn't happen to me though, yuri makes me feel less lonely.
No. 363695
sage for unhinged rant but i didn't know where else this should go. sometimes it feels as though the threshold for female SSA is very strict on here. gay moids obsess over female celebrities and call them hot and idolise beyonce and Taylor or whoever the fuck and no one doubts their sexuality. straight moids pull out the "i'm not gay, but [xyz buff male celebrity]…" card and jerk off to trans porn due to porn addiction and no one doubts their sexuality. gay moids come out after decades of being married to a woman and no one insists they're not gay. people also accept that straight girls may kiss their best friends or watch lesbian porn. in fact a lot of anons ridicule girls who do the typical "oooh women are so pretty, I kiss them when I'm drunk, i'd date/sleep with them but would never marry one" thing, not believing that having sex with or dating women means you definitely aren't straight.
but i see anons on here say if you like yaoi or are really into a boy band or whatever you can't be lesbian. i really wonder where that comes from. do we believe that male attraction is innate in all women, part of womanhood, or do we just hold lesbianism to a stricter standard than heterosexuality or male homosexuality?
>>362528 if anon's post was about thinking she might like men because she likes yaoi and crushes on male characters i think people would accept it at face value and say she is OSA. but I also think it's fair to assume that there are women out there who have suffered from early porn exposure, who think they're attracted to men but are not. i'd like to hear you alls thoughts.
No. 365975
>>363189who told you boobs are genitals kek.
>>362529>>362530people can get attached to genitals but not doing so doesn’t make you asexual. most bi people I know (and honestly most straight girls but it could just be my friends) aren’t particularly attracted to genitals and find them gross unless they’re attracted to someone - in which case they’re neutral.
some people just don’t get crushes easily, or ever I guess. but crushes =/= sexual attraction. i’m still attracted to people when I don’t have a crush.
No. 365982
>>365977uh, yes it is. I said bi people I know. Which to be fair includes some gendies, but I also was not attracted to genitals until very recently. (and that was
triggered by a very intense crush making me gayer about literally anything female. Still not attracted to dicks, just certain dudes as a whole.)
>>365980yeah, that’s what I’d think too.
No. 366064
>>365986>genuinely curious please tell meThe way you talk about genitals and sexuality is a dead giveaway you're very young. I would green-text specifically what you said but it was pretty much everything. You could have said one of the opinions or thoughts expressed here and not be young, but altogether it seemed to me like it could only be from the mind of a teenager. No offense, just stating a fact.
I answered your question now please answer mine. What brought you to lolcow / how'd you find it?
No. 366067
>>366064how would a non-teenager talk about it? I just explained that most people I know are attracted to people, not specifically their genitals. also, one of the anons I was replying to basically sounded like she was saying if you don’t get crushes, you’re asexual.
I found lolcow a couple years ago from the egirl snow threads, I was googling drama. didn’t know it was a female only misandrist(?) community until a couple months ago which is when I started becoming active on here.
No. 366098
>>366078I’m not the anon they were diagnosing, but I get your point. still, I don’t think it’s overly clinical. people are attracted to biological sexes but most don’t see someone’s penis or vulva and are like, oh wow that’s so hot. most people would be more attracted to the whole person, if that makes sense? of course genitals are a factor (because gender is), but anon was just saying that they’re not sexually
attracted to genitals. not rare at all. obviously if you can still be turned on by other things that wouldn’t make you ‘asexual’.
>>366082ouch. really? I kind of thought I came across as more mature online. most people i talk to on the internet have assumed I was anything up to 40s, no one’s ever assumed i was a teenager, so this is a first.
No. 366530
>>366467>Is it common to feel attracted only to fictional characters and having unattainable crushes at people like streamers, but not having any romantic nor sexual feeling towards people in my life?>Is it maybe an aromantic/asexual thing or is it just I haven't met the right person yet?I was in this boat (except I was never into streamers) for most of my life and it turned out I was just super traumatized and kind of a shut-in. Attraction to unobtainable people
is attraction, but in my experience it's a result of a lot of baggage. I'm honestly skeptical of if "aromantic/asexual" is real (I feel like it's usually a trauma response or medical issue) but if you're imagining yourself dating characters or enjoy sexual content of them like I did, that's romantic/sexual attraction, period. Whenever I see people claim to be asexual but like fanfic smut or "comphet lesbians" who like celebrity/non-anime styled fictional men, that's what I always think. You do feel attraction sexually or to men, but you're only comfortable with it in "safe" ways.
I am capable of attraction to people IRL, but it makes me feel like crap and my few IRL crushes were miserable experiences because I felt like I wasn't good enough for them or they wouldn't feel the same. I had a phase where I thought I was "aromantic but not asexual" (I'm aware of how pretentious that sounds) because I thought stereotypical romance was cheesy but still have a libido, until I realized how I only had the textbook "falling in love" feelings with a fictional characters. So it turned out I am capable of romantic feelings, but I don't really care about dating/settling down and find those feeling more "free" and enjoyable if it's with someone unobtainable.
No. 366538
>>366535I don't think it counts as being a kid when you are in your late teens but ok. I'm using it as an example because it's the only way for me to relate to people when they say they are asexual. The way I see it some people never developed much of an attraction towards others and I can remember what that was like, idk why that is controversial. That said, I think the asexual label is sort of a meaningless catch-all term. Like
>>366530 said it also encompasses people with sexual trauma or who have low libido for medical reasons and so on. I don't have a problem with people using the label if they find it personally helpful, the only time I find them annoying are the ones who try to claim oppression points. I think demisexual is a much more retarded label.
>you are not the sexuality guru you think you areYou're projecting, this is the only time I've posted itt
No. 366878
>>366530Omg I'm the original anon who asked that. Honestly I think this sums it up the best and is the answer I was looking for. It's true at least in my experience my previous relationships weren't that great because I always felt most men had other intentions that didn't felt entirely genuine. In general dating became a very stressful thing to me, often being perceived as someone 'cold' or 'uninterested' but I couldn't be any other way because I just don't trust men enough because of several bad experiences where they have disappointed me.
With people like streamers I've been watching for years it feels like there's some kind of connection and there is no harm, I feel safe and I can fantasize about them without the stressful part.
On another note- it does make me feel a little bad though, I'm on my early twenties and dislike most men even though I'm straight, when I get to know them better I just discover worse things about them, their past or their personality.
No. 367243
>>367239Thanks for replying. What do you mean by register on my radar? I'm ESL, sorry.
Yeah, I feel confused. In high school my best friend was boy crazy, she'd always point out actors and fictional men and say "Isn't he so hot?" etc. I did find them good looking but unlike her I never had fantasies, even imagining kissing them felt wrong and uncomfortable.
Maybe I am an extreme febfem. I don't feel that bisexual fits for me though. Surely if you're bi you'd have been interested in dating a boy at some point right? But ever since I was a child it felt wrong. The idea of a man fantasizing about ME is also disgusting.
No. 367262
>>367237>>367243As a febfem you don't sound febfem, nona. Sorry.
I prefer women 90% of the time and never want a man to touch
me sexually, it's an active turn off, so I'm pretty far into being febfem. But I still have SOME male-centered fantasies sometimes. They involve serial-killer-tier shit but they are fantasies nonetheless.
Just acknowledging men can look okay doesn't mean you want to engage with them.
No. 367280
>>367245>>367258>>367262AYRT, thanks everyone. This is what I'm a little unsure of: I enjoy gay, lesbian and straight romance novels, and I get butterflies reading all three. I'm also a writer and I enjoy writing all pairings, same sex or otherwise (although admittedly the lesbian ones hit close to my heart). I like boy bands and I've even gone to see movies because my favorite actor was in it and he is handsome. One of my favorite books ever is a romance novel between a female and male character as well. Still, actor, band member or male character, I've never wanted to kiss any of them.
On the other hand, I have had fantasies about male characters, but now that I look back they're all platonic. When I was little I'd daydream about a male character taking care of me like a fatherly figure. Or I would imagine being a male character's girlfriend, but it was a fantasy of someone finding me pretty and interesting and calling me nice things - when I tried to imagine us kissing it felt wrong. The only self-insert romantic or sexual fantasies I have are about female characters, and I daydream about THEM all the time.
Tl;dr - does this signal some level of OSA? About the handsome actor thing or the reading/writing romance novels? I appreciate you all so much for weighing in.
No. 367432
>>367280>Tl;dr - does this signal some level of OSA? About the handsome actor thing or the reading/writing romance novels? I appreciate you all so much for weighing in.No, if your only
sexual fantasies involving yourself are same-sex, the rest doesn't sound OSA. I've always liked homosexual ships (gay or lesbian) and a few straight ones, and I never saw that as "contradictory" to being a lesbian because I just think they're cute, I don't want to fuck the guy or think the gay sex is hot.
No. 367551
Long sperg incoming, but is it possible to gaslight yourself into thinking you're SSA?
The only relationship I've ever had was with a TIF who "passed" as an androgynous person, but even on T she had no genital changes whatsoever, and I was definitely sexually attracted to her. We were long distance and only fooled around once in person, but we did a lot online, over call, over video, whatever.
And yet I can't help but think that I may have just been lying to myself. Even with her, I always imagined myself as having a dick. I don't mind what I do have, but (probably because of a degree of internalized homophobia, if i can even call it that) I feel like I'd be able to do more with a dick.
But SSA women don't have those. The sex they want is between two WOMEN, not PIV. And what's more, for my whole childhood, I only really had crushes on fictional men. Nowadays I can still get myself to fantasize about relationships with male characters, but never female…but for whatever reason I can feel sexual attraction imagining male characters as TIFs. Did my past relationship just fuck me up that much??
I can't even really imagine myself having PIV sex. Never have. I'm interested to know what male genitals are like in person, and like I said, sometimes when I really hate myself I wish that I had them, but I feel NOTHING but discomfort even thinking about PIV where I'm the reciever. I've never been traumatized, either, and I'm not asexual or whatever other buzzword people are making up these days. I have a libido. I have sexual desire. I just don't want to have straight sex.
Still, I can't shake the feeling that I'm just LARPing. When I think about dating a woman, I immediately worry that I'd never be good enough, that I'd never feel real attraction, that she should find someone better. Even thinking about having a girlfriend often just doesn't feel right to me. It feels like I'm making every excuse in the book for why I can't date a woman, even though I have before.
Is this internalized homophobia? Or am I brainrotted from a shitty ex? Or am I just autistic?? Should I just grow a spine and get therapy?
No. 367602
>>367551>Long sperg incoming, but is it possible to gaslight yourself into thinking you're SSA? Short answer: No.
Long answer: You can't completely gaslight yourself, if you're attracted to someone you'll know it. You can pretend very well where at times you'll even doubt your attraction, but you'll know something's wrong and you're not being your true self deep down. I guess it's like when SSA women pretend to be straight. They pretend to be and they pretend to like it, but they can't truly like it and be that, yknow?
>But SSA women don't have those. The sex they want is between two WOMEN, not PIV.Short answer: SSA women can have those.
Long answer: A woman is same-sex attracted not because of what fantasies she has or what kind of sex she wants to do or her interests or anything, but because she's attracted to a woman. Everything else is irrelevant. Someone is a woman, because she's born as that (it's just a thing that happens kinda like eye color) and she has sexual feelings towards another woman.
>Crushes on fictional menAs in like, anime 2D characters or actual 3D men? I don't know much about this to say my opinion. Regardless of that, if it "counts" or not as a crush, does it really matter? It might give insight about yourself though, because fictional crushes are unattainable and protect you from getting hurt. I think you might just like the secondary sexual characteristics more, if the characters you crush on are 3D. Doesn't say that much about your sexuality though. Especially childhood crushes aren't even that important.
>Did my past relationship just fuck me up that much?Probably
>When I think about dating a woman, I immediately worry that I'd never be good enough, that I'd never feel real attraction, that she should find someone better.Many people who are in a relationship experience that fear if they're insecure or have had bad relationships in the past or maybe they're just noy prepared, that the person they're dating will find someone better. And with this
>I don't mind what I do have, but feel like I'd be able to do more with a dick. it's the age old dilemma of bisexuals. I have one question: was the TIF you dated bisexual or she stated she had a preference for men? If so, I think I know what you might feel… You know how straight people worry that their gf/bf might cheat on them with another guy/girl? But it's usually only one sex they're afraid of. Well dating someone who is bisexual or being bisexual yourself adds the possibility that they'll leave you for someone of the same AND of the other sex. So maybe you feel like if you had a dick she would be more satisfied and you'd feel less jealous? If she's exclusively attracted to women, then I can't help with that.
>Is this internalized homophobia? Or am I brainrotted from a shitty ex? Or am I just autistic?? None of these you're just insecure of not being good enough and it's okay. It might be the second though.
>Should I just grow a spine and get therapy?Yeah, it'd help you work out on your self esteem and other issues you might have
No. 367612
>>367522Lmao, I remember seeing a gif of a naked guy running and thinking to myself "this can't be right!" Male bodies have such retarded shapes. How does it just flop around? That's ridiculous.
Sadly I can't give any advice.
No. 367631
Am I the only one who gets hung up on the word "attraction" and isn't sure what that means?
I've always gotten crushes on guys since a young age, where I want to get emotionally intimate and do stuff like kissing or cuddling, but I never get turned on sexually and actually find men's bodies pretty unpleasant. I always want to look away when I see sexualized men, it grosses me out. I know some people might argue that that's fair because it is true that a lot of men are ugly, but I mean I've never found a single man, even fictional, to be titilating, ever. I've had a boyfriend before and I had intense feelings of love but never ever felt aroused by him no matter what he did, I just didn't feel actively disgusted. Hated sex, it was boring at best and painful at worst.
I associate sexual feelings with my own body parts mostly and don't feel a desire to have either relationships or sex with women, but I've always had sexual fantasies involving women. I feel like this isn't "really gay" though since there's no specific people involved and doesn't extend to real life, I think it's just a consequence of my brain associating female parts with sexual pleasure and finding men ugly. I've never had a crush on a girl.
I've considered myself straight but it makes me feel screwed up that I just don't have sexual feelings for men, on some level I can't relate with straight women because I don't find any guys hot. I don't have sexual trauma or any weird stuff that'd explain some sort of repression either, I really feel like I'm outright not wired to feel that way about men. Does it still make sense to call myself "attracted to men" or straight at that point? I can't figure out if I count as "attracted" since it's like I have some components of what people experience but not others.
and what am I supposed to do with this situation? I feel like any guy is going to find it a dealbreaker that I'm not into him physically…
No. 367666
>>367602>was the TIF you dated bisexual?She was, actually. I was the first woman she'd dated, if I remember right…so I think you might really be on to something, nona.
>As in like, anime 2D characters or actual 3D men?2D, not just anime but 2D nevertheless. I was probably 14 the last time I had a crush on an actor, it's been so long. There aren't enough sickly waifish androgynous moids, I guess, lel.
Overall I think, looking back after some sleep, I was definitely overthinking. I know deep down the only "requirements" for being bisexual are being attracted to both sexes, and clearly I am. All the rest can be influenced by past experience and the world around you to some extent, but the one thing that bihets and conversion therapy alike have proven is that it's damn near impossible to change your baseline sexual attraction.
In any case, if I go out and date that girl I like, the worst that can happen is I realize I'm not into that after all (unlikely) which I know even happens in straight relationships. Of course, the idea of hurting a woman is way worse to me than if I were to hurt a man, kek. But potentially denying myself an entire facet of my sexuality because I don't want to hurt any women ever is unbelievably autistic and retarded, so I should give it a rest. Thank you nona, this was helpful!! I know I have self esteem problems like every other woman alive so I should work on those and get some pussy, I will return when my quest is complete…
No. 367668
>>367631>>367644what's with anons in this thread calling everyone lesbian at the faintest sign of anything? she literally says
>I've always gotten crushes on guys since a young age, where I want to get emotionally intimate and do stuff like kissingmy god, it's fine to not like sex bc so many guys have ruined themselves w porn addiction or dont listen to their partners about what feels good. maybe everyone around you is fugly idk. anon you literally have crushes on guys and want to kiss them, you're not a lesbian, just rightfully picky as you should be about the quality of your partner. its possible you could be bi but like honestly just read thru this thread if you're seriously questioning
No. 367791
>>367788Go back to where? Relax. I specifically said that we can’t say for sure either way. I don’t think she’s a lesbian any more than I think she’s bi or straight.
I do wonder how that would work though? Say being only sexually attracted to one gender, but only romantically attracted to the other? I wouldn’t understand how that would be possible but OP’s situation seems close to it.
No. 367905
>>367791>>367796>Say being only sexually attracted to one gender, but only romantically attracted to the other? I wouldn’t understand how that would be possible but OP’s situation seems close to it.>saying that there are separate sexual and romantic elements of sexuality is some tumblr asexual discourse shit imo.I'm the OP and I feel similarly where I think it sounds stupid, but it almost seems like the closest description even though I'd never self-describe that way. Even people who espouse split attraction stuff never seem to have cleanly divided opposites though, they always have bi- or a- thrown in there, which seems like they're just straights trying to seem qweer or people consciously choosing to not engage with one sex despite having feelings.
I have never heard anyone express anything like what I feel. I don't relate to stuff like, a woman no longer being into
her man but she still feels excited by some other man (even if he's unattainable/idealized), or a woman having the urge to seek women but feeling held back by something, or a woman who literally never feels physical arousal ever.
I don't feel comfortable calling myself either bi or lesbian when I've never wanted to be more than friends with any woman but I've had multiple people insist that I am, while others equally insist that I'm definitely straight, and in absence of a clear answer I'm kinda left wondering if I'm mentally defective or retarded. Is there anything I can even do to try to sort things out?
No. 368026
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so at high-school (and I am now 27 and have never had a boyfriend/kiss/sexual experience, yes I feel embarrassed and ashamed typing) I had this 'friend' who was so horrid and was one of those people who would embarrass you to make others laugh (I can't really explain) and I remember she would often say I was gay and say if others (in the friend group or whatever) think so too. I didnt have a boyfriend and I have always been so shy and awkward, especially at school and back then obviously it was different if someone called you gay, kinda. but I then always wondered.. am I a lesbian?
I guess I have been turned on by women aroused by women in sexualised situations? like erotica and stuff. but I can't imagine or like the thought of being with a woman sexually or romantically. like I fantasise about relationships with men, imagining my favourite actors and have had 'crushes' and feel fuzzy inside when fantasising but I have such social anxiety I am too scared for dating apps and life isn't good right now but ugh I am so sorry I am typing this out and feel stupid. Sorry for being annoying I just wanted to get it off my chest and see if any of you can relate?
No. 368646
>>367804Bi but you're attracted to women more/have a strong preference for women. 5 in the Kinsey scale.
Might have developed some resentment towards men depending on your life experiences and who you hang out with too.
Just date a woman at this point, more butch or more masculine.
No. 368751
>>367955nta but what would you call it if someone feels a genuine (let's assume not a socially pressured illusion) urge to do stuff like kissing, cuddling, going on dates, being exclusive, and other stuff associated with romantic love, but in absence of sexual attraction? Just an unusually close friendship?
Not trying to argue in any which way just curious for you to expand on what you said
No. 368966
>>368751nta but i'd just say that's someone with a practically non-existent libido. theres just not much use and some harm in trying to dissect attraction into romantic and sexual components when they're often together (and unhealthy when not). there's critiques of the split attraction model in this thread iirc if you're curious.
i appreciate that 'asexual' is a general term that many women use to signal they'd rather be celibate/have very very low libidos, but out of all the times ive been around ttt spaces, it doesnt seem to be an actual thing and rather just caused by trauma/porn addiction/internal hangups/lack of interest
No. 369010
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if female sexuality’s so convoluted, HOW DO I KNOW I’M STRAIGHT AND NOT JUST ASHAMED OF BEING GAY/BI? My dislike of naked women and pussy’s keeping me sane. but then—bam—held hands with my roommate once. Idk if it was platonic or something and I hate it.
Didn’t know what crushes are but knew something about boys drew me in. I like boys, just never saw them sexually (thanks society). Then that gayass masterdoc came in and ruined me lol….some of it was bullshit though. Like, never found shego hot lol. Or hell, none of my sex fantasies were faceless. So idk lol, I’m just a weird hettie or what?
No. 369409
>>369337>attractions suppose to feel good right? why are my panic alarms going off soon as a guy pops up?Because guys are dangerous and even if attraction is supposed to feel good, it's normal for straight women to feel uneasy around men and platonically comfortable about women.
>for the record i've had a long history of anxiety and ocd. I've been a anxious, overanalyzing wreck my whole life so who knows…You're straight and probably have Sexual Orientation OCD. Look into some kind of specialized therapy or support group for it. The "lesbian masterdoc" was written by a bi woman with PTSD, the creator literally came out and said that. It's bullshit.
No. 369780
>>369010If you're reading a book that tells you if you're a lesbian, you're already not. There's this scene in The Diary of a Wimpy Kid movie where they're having an audition and everyone's singing and they're just not good at it at all, even the kids who claimed they wanted to be Broadway singers growing up are very meh, then Greg sings and his voice is so beautiful. You see the the teacher's expression immediately changing when she realizes his hidden talent. Think of it like that, in life you just don't know if you're a singer til you try to sing
>inb4 someone lists an exceptionTrue, exceptions exists but this Nona above isn't the exception
No. 369980
>>369955How the fuck is this scrote moment? It makes perfect sense to ask this because it tells you what sex your brain is attracted to. Also to reply to
>>369228, I think that having sex dreams with only women is a big indicator that you like women sexually, unless you've gone through some sort of sexual trauma. Now this doesn't necessarily mean that you are a lesbian, you might still be bisexual, but I think you're definitely sexually attracted to women.
No. 370025
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>>370017You can't be serious.
No. 370030
>>370025>>370028KEK didn't even notice the "wizardchan" in the filename
is this where all the moids have been coming from recently? would explain the absolute spergout from the "anonette" who tried to make that wizard thread earlier
No. 370130
>>370025How you ‘fap’
nonny? We’re all girls here
*wink wink. For research purposes.
:^)
(emoticon) No. 370177
>>370167>>370168Yeah, it's the 2d aspect that confuses me. 2d men? Great! Real men, I feel a little uncomfortable tbh.
2d women? Eh, I'd say they're pretty from an artistic perspective. Real women? I'd be bright red.
Only men think I'm asexual too, women tend to think I'm at least bi.
No. 370186
>>370184No? I don't really comprehend men as attractive until someone tells me that they are, tbh.
Fwiw I grew up in a fairly egalitarian but majority male household and have a pretty close relationship with my male relatives.
No. 370192
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>>370190I don't know, honestly. I guess like shading, definition, and stuff, the angles, color, and expressions that only art can get away with, that sort of thing. Like pic related, I'd say I like.
No. 370224
>>370220I'm not attracted to 2d women though, even in the same artstyle.
I guess I'll just call myself bi and call it a day.
No. 370525
>>370518It's like everyone's sexuality must revolve around dicks.
Bi women are slutty straight women who do it for male attention.
Bifags are just confused gay men.
A gay man can be married for years to a woman with kids and no one questions him once he comes out. But a lesbian can't even be fan of a male celebrity without people questioning her sexuality.
No. 370593
>>369955I don't masturbate and never did and don't want to lol
>>369980Thank you. I don't have any trauma so I guess I'm bi
No. 371713
Do you think it's possible that what someone thinks is attraction is actually just traumatic bonding or feeling like you're supposed to go to the opposite sex? Growing up I'd get crushes on boys who were nice to me, and when I had a bf as a teenager I loved him a lot, to the point of obsessiveness. But looking back I'm wondering if this kind of thing doesn't really "count" because I was extremely lonely and wanted friends really bad in general? I had bad experiences getting bullied by other girls so I was always socially outcast from them, and admired boys for being easier to get along with since I had some more boyish interests. He was basically my only friend and the only person I talked to at all.
Even though I was really close with my bf, I never felt interested in him sexually. I feel like I really just wanted a best friend who I'd live with someday, and I usually felt better calling him my best friend instead of my boyfriend (he was fine with this but people thought it was weird). I'd say and do sexual things but it felt like I was working from a script, like "oh this is what a girl would say in this situation," as as I got older and more confident I stopped feeling willing to go along with it so we ceased all anything sexual about our relationship and I got upset when he suggested working towards rekindling it.
When I really felt aroused I'd have sexual fantasies about girls, then feel guilty and try to switch to thinking about my bf, only to immediately kill the mood. Or start the other way around imagining a romantic storyline involving him and then finish off with a random female fantasy "as a treat." Other than my bf I outright hated the idea of men being sexualized, it still gets this sickened instinct out of me, at best I get a sort of morbid curiosity while cringing at the same time.
He often felt like I was different in some way, in this regard. I remember once he asked me why I ever kiss him and I said "because I like you" and he clearly thought that was the wrong answer, and asked for another answer, and I said "…because it feels nice?" I notice he'd try to kiss me for really long periods of time like he was drunk or magnetized and I'd get really freaking bored, it feels soft and warm at the start but I didn't get that "drive" to go on and on like he did. I've wondered if that's sexual attraction or just a male thing.
We aren't together now, and I still get female sexual urges and no male ones. The other day I woke up feeling incredibly stimulated and had to like restrain myself from rabidly thinking about vulvas as I tried to reorient myself in the post-sleep confusion. Idk, it comes really naturally and spontaneously.
So I've been considering if I've never been straight or even bi to begin with but outright homosexual, but I also feel conflicted because I had a long relationship with a man in which I actually loved him. But maybe not in the way women usually love men?
And I don't know if I would want a relationship with a woman; it's not a "yes" or "no" towards that idea, I'm just not sure. I just know that I've always really wanted to get married and raise children, which I've always associated with men, but I dislike the idea of needing to have sex with men.
Idk I'm also self-conscious that maybe I'm just trying to conjure up a reason for retconning that relationship and trying to use lesbianism as an excuse, any advice?
No. 371739
>>371713>I still get female sexual urges and no male ones.There’s your answer. As a lonely teenager some of your crushes on guys could have been strong platonic feelings. I had a ‘crush’ on a guy friend in high school because we liked the same type of music and humor. Looking back those were not romantic feelings because I felt no sadness/jealousy when he introduced his girlfriend to our group of friends but I did feel a sense of loss whenever one of my female friends genuinely fell in love with a guy because that was the end of the messaging each other every day stage of our friendship.
Would you ever try dating a woman even just one date? How do you feel about being seen in public as part of a lesbian couple?
No. 371763
Idk it’s difficult to tell if I’m bi or a lesbian or straight. I’m autistic so this will shed some prior context.
You’d think it’s a no brainer to know, but I’m terrified of having sex with men. The idea of getting penetrated irl frightens me to the core. It’s not sexy at all. Imagining myself married to a man is not very appealing, it’s a faceless fantasy I suppose, I never imagine a specific man, it’s bland, I can’t really find much enjoyment out of it.
The concept itself, being married as in forming a family, it feels appealing but the guy is the last thing I’m thinking about. I’ve always longed to be “normal” and have a family of my own… but as I said, the man seems to be only an accessory to my dream, not a main component.
I’ve had fantasies with women, the idea of marrying one, living with her… I feel guilty but it doesn’t seem half bad.
Sex with women doesn’t sound terrifying, I’ve had sexual fantasies with both men and women that involve me but both are unsatisfying, Milquetoast.
I like watching both sexes masturbate so idk what that says about me. I do think I might be attracted more to male physiques but not their faces.
I’ve had boyfriends but kissing them ranged from terrifying or uncomfortable to doing nothing for me. It was a chore at best.
The man I dated a year, I was constantly dreading for the day he would ask me for sex, but he had performance anxiety so that day never came, I just broke things off due to unrelated issues in the relationship.
However I love husbando and shipping fantasies, using a canon female character as a pseudo self insert or projection.
I love imagining my husbando getting touched by women, being loved, pleasured. Mostly just the character being touched and in a vulnerable position, maybe tied up? Generally submissive.
I don’t feel this for female characters.
And no I don’t really watch porn for the most part. I’ve been off live action porn for months now that I think about it. I barely search or browse anime porn because my husbandos are niche and I don’t enjoy yaoi very much.
Im a het shipper and yumejoshi by nature I suppose, but the anime Moids I like barely have any substantial yumejo or het shipper community for me to engage with.
Idk.
No. 371764
>>371763Kek. My guess is you’re just a weirdo bisexual. No need to overcomplicate it; what you want is what you want. You don’t have to have penetrative sex with men or get married to one, but if you find men that you don’t feel uncomfortable with you can do other sexual things with them and maybe date them. It sounds like you just weren’t attracted to your boyfriends because finding good real life moids is like searching for a needle in a haystack whereas husbandos are better by default.
Do you have any experience with women, or have you only dated men? I think this is important because if you had no experience at all you would have seemed like a mostly straight woman with personal hang-ups. Which demonstrates that actually being with a man or woman is what reveals if you enjoy it or not.
No. 371806
>>371764Same anon here. I have no experience with women really. It’s hard to know if I like them because I have not crushed on anyone since high school. I even have doubts I can fall in love because I’m too autistic for it. But I’m not even sure if aromanticism is even a real thing to begin with.
I feel I’m just too stupid and inexperienced, maybe I just need to fuck a moid that isn’t ugly.
No. 371843
>>371739It's hard for me to answer those questions since I guess I feel like I have no frame of reference? I do know that I'm not comfortable with going on dates with strangers, I've always wanted to get to know someone as a friend first then move into romance (doesn't fit the current dating scene, I know).
One thing that adds to my confusion is that because my interests are often male-dominated and I just have some sort of issue connecting with women (something nebulous about mismatched communication styles), I've never really had any strong female relationships aside from my family members. I've always gotten along better with men so I'm ashamed to say that women other than myself are sort of mysterious to me.
No. 372757
>grew up very religious in a conservative area with no visible gay people
>family members were/are vocally homophobic
>started noticing girls'/womens' bodies at a very young age
>would get very clingy and obsessive about certain female friends and felt devastated by friend breakups
>all this got more intense around puberty
>started getting a lot of intense, internal crushes on idealized versions of guys that came to a screeching halt if they reciprocated physically or if I tried to think of actually having sex with them
>at the same time, weirdly fixated on female bodies despite not watching porn
>could not (still honestly can't) do female figure studies without getting extremely horny
>didn't realize I was actually attracted to other girls until college, thought I was just some weird pervert
>early college years started with a catastrophic series of events that involved a lot of dubious sex with men, losing the religion, and meeting people outside of my social bubble
>took on the bisexual label for a while but could never really get into sex with men
>sex with guys felt at best like playing a weird rhythm game where I'd be rewarded with some pleasure and a more docile moid for a few weeks
>get into a "healthy" relationship after a series of failed ones
>rapidly peter off having sex to the point of actively avoiding it
>even though current boyfriend is objectively fit, not coom-brained, and nice to look at, feel boredom mixed with disgust whenever I have to actually handle his dick or he tries to do anything sexual
>to me, even attractive men have something "off" about their faces or bodies whereas women I'm attracted to practically shut my brain off
I consider myself traumatized bisexual or even straight given that I've had little to no experience with women, but my almost total lack of sexual interest in men gives me serious pause.
No. 372930
>>372871By "reverse" do you mean like you also like feminine males but irl? Or you like very masculine women/basically ftms? I also relate to that though, low self-esteem doesn't help on top of everything else. Stay strong anon…
>>372902Yup it's basically that for me, I notice women more IRL, both "boyish" and feminine women, because they are most common and have the features I'm interested in. I thought about dating a "boyish" woman as compromise, but it stops there because I just have this weird hangup about dating in general, hence why I fixate from a detached pov on fictional characters. I would have to say "male leaning bisexual" suits me the best, but I might just be straight with a weird fetish? Most bihet women like generic males, and as
>>372871said I have a very particular taste for extreme androgyny. I feel like this is all probably caused by autism or schizoid/schizotypal pd (questioning sexuality, anhedonia and avoidance to IRL relationships, unconventional sexuality and fixating on fictional characters are all classic traits) like many others in this thread, so I should probably get psychological help before anything but with my avoidant traits and fear of opening up it's a paradoxical cycle. I wish more research was done on unconventional female sexuality, but everything has to be done with a male bias…
No. 372971
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>>372869>>372871>>372930I'm kind of like this and I've figured I'm just a type of bi with a fixation on androgyny. Especially as a teenager I was obsessed with effeminate male characters and was into BL, but then I discovered the autistic niche of "breeches role" aka actresses playing (young) men in plays and operas, turns out I'm mostly into masculine looking women irl. I can't stand troonism and I wouldn't date a TIF but I'm extremely jealous of TIFs dating each other. Basically I am into retarded yaoi larp.
No. 373000
>>372961Thanks for stating the obvious and contributing nothing to the conversation and reiterating what I admitted myself I guess? I wasn't expecting normies to contribute productively which is why I prefaced the post with "can anyone else relate"
>>372965Funnily enough I've thought about that but I realize it's an unobtainable delusion lol. And felt too troony.
>>372971Kek same anon, androgyny just excites me in a way normal people can't. I considered dating a tif and even had intrusive thoughts of trooning out myself even though I know deep down it's retarded, I don't want to live as a frog voiced leprechaun just for a niche interest. But I am kinda envious of them, they honestly seem happier than anyone on here despite the delusional LARP. ATP if I can find someone I like and someone who likes me I'd honestly be happy with, beggars can't be choosers and I can do the androgyne-fujoism thing as a hobby.
No. 373062
>>373043Except it's a question of sexuality because it's considering what gender I'm into lol. Unless you're one of those people who separates gender/presentation and sex/sexuality, which would be closer to troonism? Everything else is just involuntary thought or temporary obsession, not denying brainrot but the main point is I'm almost exclusively into androgynous fictional characters and am disinterested with anyone irl which people here evidently relate to so…
(deleted the post before I saw the reply)
>>373060Except I don't want to fuck kirby here. I'm attracted to androgyny in adult humans as we've established seems to be a bi thing. Calling it a fetish or playing up the unhingedness with regards to troons is me being flippant. Is it really any less relevant than the women who come on here confused about how they think they might be gay because theyre addicted to futa lesbian masturbation porn but are turbovirgins irl due to being self-admitted autists?
No. 373089
>>373078I'm being a bit self-deprecating yes but when did I insult others? I'm trying to explain why I thought this belongs on this thread and not on the fetish one for example because it feels like a double standard considering similar things have been discussed here. I'm not denying it could be paraphilia, but I don't think my situation fits with the "I wish my moid could fuck me in the ass while a woman shits in my mouth" type posts there, and I don't identify as a lesbian so that lesbian husbandofag thread seems off limits. If there are any others please feel free to suggest but I think this belongs here.
Maybe forget all the dumb shit I said before and I'll phrase it as a question for people ITT to give their opinions on: I'm sure many people have noticed a deeply confused group of people identifying as asexual lesbians into ~nonbinary femme indiviuals~ in more normie trans-sympathetic lgbt spaces, even though they exclusively hyperfixate on husbandos/bl (not saying I ID as this but with me specifically it's androgynous characters that aren't obtainable irl), at the most call their male fixations lesbians as cope, never do anything sexual and seem to have a platonic partnership with the women they've "dated" (who tend to be tomboyish and they themselves which I also relate to. Also I've seen "fujo4fujo" type people around). What sexuality would you guys describe this person as because it's similar to my situation and I wouldn't describe myself as a lesbian, from my pov neither would I these kinds of people. It's hard to say for me though because I haven't dated anyone irl and seldomly have attractions and crushes. I don't think it's asexuality because I think that's tied to neurodivergency which is why I kept mentioning that before, and it's clear this type of person and me as well do have attraction just to their fictional characters. Are they male leaning bisexuals? Female leaning? Are they actually asexual lesbians do you guys believe that's a thing? Or are they just straight people with an unusual preference. Since I relate to this and am questioning, I reiterate that I feel it belongs on here but if there are more fitting threads, please let me know.
>>373078 No. 373211
>>373183kek nona are you me? I'm one of the anons who answered previosuly and I also used to rp yaoi stuff with an online friend, then she'd send me her smutfics. I also doubt I could find someone like me irl but a girl can dream
While porn and even moreso fanfic has affected my sexuality, I don't think it's all "pornsickness", in fact it would be pretty misogynistic imo to assume I'd be into average hunk type scrotes if porn didn't exist.
embarrassing but one of my early sexual awakenings was reading a kids' fantasy novel by Lene Kaaberbøl and it had a male antagonist character who was canonically an eunuch (inb4 you screech at me I didn't know what it meant as a kid kek I'm not into irl eunuchs) who was descibed as very effeminate, for example he had a "soft voice like a girl" etc. There's a part in the book where he kills himself by jumping onto the sword of the girl protagonist and when I read that I felt really funny and didn't know why. I was around 9 years old at the time No. 373252
>>373209Yes, I think bisexual is the only thing I could be. But I still don’t understand why I have this problem. I was thinking about it more, and it’s like I want her to want me in the way that women want men. When I think about a woman wanting me as a woman, it feels unpleasant to me. Almost all of my fantasies are about me as a man with her. I want to do the things a man can experience with her. I want to lose myself in her hips like a man could and have her react to me like women react to men. It’s just so bizarre to me that this problem only applies to my sex drive, and not in other aspects if my life. I swear I actually really like being a woman otherwise.
>>373249Why do you think you’re heterosexual if you are fantasizing about having sex with a woman? Genuine question because maybe I’m straight and just fucked uo somehow, I genuinely don’t have any idea what’s wrong with me at this point and I’m considering all options.
No. 373719
>>373546I feel the same, and whenever I reach out for advice I get people suggesting everything from straight to lesbian to bi to asexual. I've tried out going by all those labels too and I always get people saying my behavior doesn't really match, am I sure I'm not actually [other orientation], no matter what I choose to go by. At the end of the day I don't care what label I just want to figure out if I'm able to have a fulfilling normal relationship with either a man or a woman, or if I'm just doomed to being too confusing for either sex.
In my case I have a strong pull towards wanting to date men that I don't feel towards women, but I'm exclusively sexually attracted to women. Tldr, but in response I've gotten:
>You're straight since you don't envision a relationship with a woman, you're just confused because men don't put effort in their appearance and women get sexualized!>You're lesbian since you don't like men sexually, you're just confused since women are expected to date men and envision themselves with husbands!>You're bi since you have some form of attraction towards both sexes! Case closed!>why do you call yourself bi if you hate seeing any man in a sexual context and call attractive men ugly? You sound lesbian instead>why do you call yourself bi if you've never had a crush on a woman or dated one? You sound straight insteadand I go back and forth on it too
No. 373734
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Nonnies I've been going crazy for the past couple of days because I don't think I was ever emotionally attracted to men before. Sure there were men whom I found attractive physically irl but I was always too scared to talk/interact with them. Plus I don't think I could actually imagine myself in a relationship with them its only a sexual desire. With women its the opposite, I want to be in a loving emotional relationship with a woman but I don't know if I'm sexually attracted to women..Am I a lesbian?
No. 373740
>>373735No
nonnie, I'm genuine
No. 373742
>>373740I don't believe you.
>I am sexually attracted to men>anons am I a lesbian?No. Stop trolling.
No. 373777
>”I’m sexually attracted to men but don’t want to sleep with one”>Farmers: You’re straight.>”I’m sexually attracted to women but could never imagine sleeping with one”>Farmers: You’re straight.Obviously
>>373734 sounds heterosexual or at most bi but this is a trend I’ve seen in this thread anyway, it’s not very consistent, is it?
No. 373867
>>373777It may seem inconsistent but "I don't want to have sex with women but girls are pretty" and "I don't want to have sex with men but I lust for, fantasize about, and desire them" is what straight women say all the time. Most women on planet earth, statistically almost every single one of them, will wind up straight, and on top of that, thinking women are pretty and men are gross is normal, and means literally nothing. I don't intend to sound mean since I believe most anons come from a good place, but it's obvious that 99% of the farmers in these threads are straight and just want to be convinced they're SSA. I don't blame them, men are shit, but let's be real here.
No. 373889
>>373867nta just wondering, is there a meaningful difference between something like "I enjoy fantasizing about sex with women but I'm not sure about doing it irl" vs. "I think women are pretty but I don't like the idea of having sex with them"?
Also what about the opposite, is "I don't feel lust for men but I want to marry/have kids with one" typical for straight women? I feel really out of place because I've always imagined relatively mainstream relationships (unlike lesbians who picture themselves with women) but I don't actually feel any sexual impulse towards men, even so-called attractive ones.
No. 373903
>>373867No one in this thread said that though kek, it’s all women saying they’re
sexually attracted to women, physically, being told they aren’t straight or they’re pornsick or whatever because they won’t have sex with one. Not about finding them pretty. But the women who couldn’t imagine having sex with men are never lesbian apparently. So what are you on about? I’m convinced you’re the anon telling nonas they’re straight even when they’re clearly not.
No. 373921
>>373906NTA yes, there are. But there are plenty that are not that, and I think what anons are saying is that oftentimes anons paint all questioning posts with the same broad brush, and I’ve seen it too— someone says they’re sexually attracted to women and anons don’t even give them the time of day and just say “straight! Next” because the way they like women or the type of women they like are not 100% whole grain lolcow(?) approved. Like the many anons who have said they lust after masculine or androgynous women, anons legitimately argue that means they’re straight because they only like women that have “male-like” traits and if you were really attracted to women you’d be attracted to all women, or “normal” women.
Basically what I’m saying is it doesn’t lend you much credibility to walk into every questioning post with the same predetermined idea in your head about who the anon is and what their hang up is about. Not every post is
>>373734 No. 373950
>>373948Well yeah of course
I know, but how’s that going to help the anons questioning? It’s a probatio diabolica, especially for the anons itt who have said they’ve never been attracted to any IRL person.
No. 373971
>>373920>If pussy makes your pussy feel tingly, you're sexually attracted to women. It doesn't matter if you would never date one for whatever reason etc etc.Well, this is me… I had a boyfriend before but never felt any sort of real arousal, at most I was curious about what men looked like and found them sort of grotesquely fascinating. Whenever he initiated anything sexual it felt like a tiring larp at best and torture at worst.
But I don't see the point in claiming I'm lesbian since I'm very unlikely to actively date women due to several hangups with relationships. It's just something in my head and my actual history consists of one man.
I keep hoping that I'm actually a confused straight and just haven't "unlocked" my true feelings for men or looked at them in the right way. Why can't they be less hideous.
No. 374056
>>373991Nta but yes, it’s a physiological reaction. Your vulva’s erectile tissues get engorged with blood. I personally feel it in my clit.
>>373996Please don’t call me a troon but I’ve been around FTM/MTF spaces out of curiosity as to how hormones affect people. From what I’ve learnt, testosterone increases genital arousal, estrogen does the same to a lesser extent than testosterone does, and then progesterone increases mental arousal. The troons basically said on male hormones they were more horny in a shallow, genital specific way, whereas on female hormones they were varying amounts of horniness but psychologically (and also more full-body). Hence why fantasies and erotica are more common in women, whereas quick ways to get off are preferred by men. I’ve also read a lot of studies that measured physiological arousal in humans and the women’s subjective results always lined up less than men’s when their body was aroused. Sexuality is more mental for women.
No. 375691
>>375683It’s not the same as you but I was sure that I was straight until my mid twenties and then I got an insanely intense celebrity crush on a woman and since then my attraction to men almost totally has disappeared. I still don’t have any irl crushes though, aside from one singular boy in middle and early high school. The funny thing is that in retrospect, his facial structure and features, especially his unique nose, are identical to the celebrity crush that changed me. It was just as abrupt as you describe even though it wasn’t an irl crush like yours and it really was hard to come to terms with.
I’ve had some people say I’m probably still straight and just delusional because the crush is not irl, but I don’t really develop regular irl crushes at all for some reason and I definitely am not physically interested in men anymore. To be honest even though it’s what people always say, ive realized it’s just unrealistic to expect myself to develop an irl crush in order to “determine” my sexuality. I’m an odd and extremely introverted person with extremely specific taste (see the identical facial features weirdness above) and my heart and brain just don’t work that way. So I think I’ll have to be content with never knowing “for sure.”
No. 375780
>>375683I agree with
>>375731, but I also relate to a degree. I’m bi but mostly homosexual, febfem leaning, and as stupid as the split attraction theory is, pretty much exclusively romantically interested in women. not really sure why, but men are like a fun little side dish I occasionally indulge in that gets boring after a while. women don’t get boring to me, I desire intimacy and one day marriage with a woman. but last spring I had a sexual encounter with a male friend who I had kind of a weird thing for (he was a bit unobtainable, but also a loser in retrospect) that was insane. when we finally hooked up it felt like years of sexual tension being released and I truly felt like a rabid animal in heat wtf. it dwarfed any desire I had ever felt. he had such a pathetic little dick and I was practically begging him to fuck me. he was literally fat and my friends laughed when I showed them a picture. (sorry for the casual fatphobia nonnas). I have never felt like that in my life ever. then we took a shower together afterwards and scrubbed each other’s backs. it was so intimate. it scares me. what if I never find that feeling with a woman? how can I recreate it? am I doomed to need sexual gratification from men? sometimes though I feel like internalized homophobia/guilt dims my sexual attraction to women
No. 375812
>>375803yes I do enjoy and crave sex with women too. but I tend to focus on their pleasure over mine because I have a hard time just receiving. I’m too self-conscious and eager to please maybe. with men, this isn’t as much of an issue, though men never make me come either. but you’re right, my body didn’t lie. I considered myself a lesbian for part of the duration of my friendship with that male friend, which is partly why he felt unobtainable. I too fell
victim to the lesbian master doc propaganda, but of course I don’t consider myself a lesbian anymore. even so, there’s nothing I want more than a loving and committed relationship with a woman. in fact, I considered my childhood best friend turned ex gf turned friend my soulmate for a ridiculously long time. the mental block persisted, even though I thought she was the most attractive person on the planet. tmi but when I would masturbate she would sometimes pop into my head and I would be so overcome by emotion it brought me to tears and I had to stop. women make me crazy, honestly. I’m cursed though I guess
No. 375856
>>375780This sort of story scares me so badly. I came out as a lesbian in middle school and then thought I was bisexual because I was a TRA and terminally attracted to low effort TIFs. Breaking point was when I dated a higher-effort TIF who wanted the frankendick and got a consultation without telling me. I cried for days and I thought wait, maybe I'm transphobic..? Anyways, peaked, broke up with her, and came back to my lesbian identity. I have never given men a chance, I don't even befriend men, but the idea you can ovulate and just become ravenous for some random fat man is like a horror movie plot for me. Be honest, did you ever suspect it before that? Was it really out of nowhere? I do hate men and find them conciously disgusting, I often think "thank God I'm gay," but this is precisely why I often question myself. Like am I just not giving men a chance, and tripling down because everyone keeps saying "maybe you just haven't given men a chance"? Even though I enjoy sex with women, I've never experienced some animalistic "in-heat" thing you're talking about. Very haunting.
No. 375857
>>375856Have you ever realized that you repress sexual attraction to men or their body? (fictional also count). If not, then probably you have nothing to worry about.
Funnily enough being able to relate to the masterdoc is the easiest way to find out if you're bisexual or not. If you haven't read it then give it a try and if you don't relate you're probably safe lmao.
No. 375859
>>375856Nta (I’m
>>375847) can’t offer any advice but the “in heat” thing just happens for me when I’m extremely attracted to someone. Usually emotionally attracted to them rather than physically - it only really happens when I’ve seriously been secretly crushing on someone for a while especially if it was a friend, even more so when there’s sexual tension, so it doesn’t happen often. I feel like
>>375855 is right in that it’s easier to find compatibility like this organically with men because the majority of men are attracted to women, whereas with women you have limited options, attraction usually doesn’t happen as organically (more likely to have specifically sought relationships out or subconsciously just be into them
because they are bi/lesbian women) as opposed to being forced to realise an intense attraction to someone that you might rather not. The easiest comparison for me is the difference between being back at school and having crush from class being reciprocated vs having to use dating apps or actively searching to find love, situations like the former more often result in a more intense relationship, but homosexual relationships are more likely to be like the latter unless you’re pretty lucky with the people you end up meeting.
No. 375860
>>375746ayrt and yeah, I am bisexual, and yeah, when I fall in love, I get really into that one person and don't want anyone else. but it still weirds me out when women don't seem to trust their own reality or remember that time passes and things change and people break up and start new relationships all the time. "yeah, I've dated only women until I met my husband, but I'm a lesbian with an exception!" you're attracted to women and men. you're bisexual. "I dated four men in a row, but I'm dating a woman now. I was a lesbian all along!" you're attracted to women and men. you're bisexual. "I haven't been able to fantasize about men in several months even though I liked men right up until a few months ago. I'm going through a sexual crisis! am I a lesbian now?" you like men and women. you're a bisexual. (I know some people really only come out later, and I accept that, but I mean, I know it's not ALWAYS the case because I've seen so many women 'come out as lesbian' just because they're in a relationship with a woman and then 'come out as bisexual again' when they break up and IMMEDIATELY date a man.)
kinda the same to me as the way literally every other woman I know is basically always saying "if I break up with this partner, that's it for me. I'm going to live in the woods and never date anyone again! I could never fall in love with anyone else! this is my one chance!" you're in a happy relationship and not thinking about other people. you'll move on if you break up.
No. 375863
>>375856don’t worry nonna, I was stupid to think I was actually a lesbian. for context, I only thought I was a lesbian for a couple years in college after my first bf, and I’m in my mid-twenties now. outside of that relationship, I’ve exclusively dated women, other than in the past year in which I’ve had a few casual flings with men for sex only. the turning point for me, other than my disappointing heterosexual relationship, was of course the lesbian masterdoc.
>>375857 is right kek. I think I wanted to be a lesbian because, as nonnies have pointed out, I simply don’t like men as people very much. sorry if this seems presumptuous, but I also think because I’ve usually centered relationships with women in my life over men, I have tended to relate to my lesbian friends more than the average bi woman who has had little to no same sex experience
No. 375866
>>375857I definitely had a thing for Tumblr sexyman type characters as a teenager, but I don't know if it "counts" because I imagined them as TIFs because my TIF gfs all loved cosplaying as them. Maybe I just have brain damage. I've heard much of the infamous lesbian masterdoc, but never read through it, but now that I have skimmed, I am pretty horrified and suddenly understand why every woman who recognizes men are deficient believes she's a lesbian. Maybe I'm fine kek, but I still worry about it sometimes. I think it's because people often say, "You just think you're a lesbian because you hate men and you've never tried to give one a chance," which is honestly true, I do hate men and I've never tried to give one a chance. Well, I did date one boy when I was 10, but I broke up with him on the same day because he tried to hold my hand, so maybe I'm worrying over nothing.
>>375859This makes a lot of sense actually, I hadn't thought of this. The most attraction I experienced was with the one organically emerging relationship I had, but she was ultimately not as attracted to women as she thought she was, so sex was…bad. I guess it is much harder to get that spontaneous, eager, pining type desire when you met on Hinge first and then did the ritual texting. This makes much more sense to me, thank you.
>>375863I'm sorry the masterdoc memed you into thinking you were a lesbian, that sounds horrible and confusing. I don't even have any advice for you, I'm just reeling from your story still. Good luck with everything.
No. 375992
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>>375977>>375973I’m not necessarily disagreeing (because I don’t really know what my opinion is yet) but if this is true then how do you explain this stat on most popular porn categories for women? (Stolen from this post
>>>/g/375899 from fetishes thread). There’s no way there’s that many ssa women in the world. And if you look at the replies, a bunch of straight women admit they like watching lesbian porn. This seems to suggest that masturbating to visuals of the female body is something most women do or have done.
No. 376013
>>376000I agree with this, I think that sexuality is a complex matter that’s ultimately a composite of different things and has a lot of variables that determine how it’s expressed. There was a study that showed most women were just as physically aroused by attractive women as attractive men, but self-reported that they weren’t. I think most humans (and animals in general) are “bisexual”, but whether or not they psychologically want to engage with sex with a certain gender or emotionally identify with this attraction to them is determined by other factors, some social, conditioned, or related to personality; not just their own but the projected assumptions of the recipient of their attraction. It’s sort of the difference between being sexually aroused by something from a bird’s eye view vs being able to insert your idea of yourself and “you” engaging in that act, playing the “role”, the latter of which is more mentally determined. I feel like this is a controversial tinfoil but it’s what makes the most sense to me, from my own observations
and autistic psychoanalysis haha. I also have an odd amount of personal experience becoming very close intimate friends with straight women and ““turning”” the majority of them bi or lesbian by being their first female crush; I don’t believe these were latent comphets or whatever, I genuinely think it’s a matter of being able to identify with a gateway attraction to someone psychologically, and I was a person that made this easy for reasons I won’t bother going into. Anyway, this is why I think spending time wondering about labels is more frustration than necessary, sexuality is vapid and susceptible to change, just go with the flow and if you feel attracted to someone, you’re attracted to them.
No. 376061
>>376003>>376013ayrt, both of you are brilliant … yes, pornhub is as much selling a vision of a sexy woman who watches porn to men with this data as they are actually presenting data. I can’t envision them saying gay male porn was highest watched even if it’s true.
and re: bisexuality, I think you’re right on this birds eye view idea other anon. My weird experience that leads me to agree is that i am a lifelong febfem who is also a fujo lol. I usually masturbate to m/m fantasies that don’t involve me but the idea of being with a man irl now makes me want to puke. As a teen, before I had any real experience, I actually thought that I was more attracted to men than women because I couldn’t envision being with a woman the same way. By the time I felt ready to begin dating I exclusively dated women, all my sexual experiences have been with women and I only desire sex with women, yet I still use men in a weird sex object way in my fantasies so long as I’m not personally involved (or any woman). I think this is a bisexual specific experience but I just have the opposite of most bisexual women who have mainly had RL experiences with men and haven’t had this “gateway” open with women.
No. 376098
>>376013I for one can't relate to the "all humans are a little bi" or sexuality is a scale model. I've always been inherently a little put off by vulvas, in the same way I imagine a lesbian would feel repulsed by dick, it's just a knee-jerk reaction that feels outside of my control. Despite this I tried having sex with a couple of women in my younger experimental days, going down on them etc. and it still didn't click. That's not the same story when it comes to moids, there's always been a curiosity there, and as I grew older attractive moids made me go a little crazy. I love their bodies, the way they smell, their energy etc., it comes very easy and instinctively. Maybe I am just a rare superstraight because I like looking at dicks and it seems like a lot of women on lolcow don't despite saying they are moid attracted. I don't watch lesbian porn, but I imagine some of the women who become aroused by same sex porn use the woman they are seeing as a proxy for themselves like some anons suggested.
I've had friend crushes on girls in the sense that I really vibe with someone and obsess a little bit, it feels similar to that new relationship energy, but when I think about having sex with them I'm just not into it. At the end of the day I agree it doesn't matter though whether someone is bi or straight, except to that person. Maybe even I will one day find that one woman hot enough to turn me bi and I will love her genitals, that would be fun, although I can't really imagine it happening.
No. 376118
>>376076>>376113I think what studies like the infamous "all women are bi" actually showed, is that women are more aroused by sexual context. Males will see a titty and go oogabooga, whereas women might see two women embracing and fondling each other and find that arousing, despite their sexual orientation. In one such study women also became aroused viewing primates doing saucy things, but that doesn't mean all women are a little sexually attracted to primates.
It's theorized women evolved this way as a preventative measure. Basically sexual context is important to us in order to avoid injury. Like
>>376113 I have also sometimes experienced genital arousal from viewing things like depictions of a car accident, or been "aroused" as an acute fear response, but that doesn't mean I was turned on lol.
No. 376128
I think I'm either bi with a female preference, or asexual. Or damaged and incapable of real love? Everyone I've dated has always felt so strongly towards me and I never felt like I related to their declarations of love, at most it was "I really enjoy spending time with you." I've mostly dated men, but I was always embarrassed to be lovey-dovey with them. I hate hate hated telling people "I have a boyfriend" just the word was so embarrassing and almost shameful to me. I can never picture my future with a man. It took a lot of mental preparation to enjoy sex, basically a conscious effort to dissociate the act from the person and just focus on the physical sensations. I've been thinking a lot about women lately, but maybe it's wishful thinking and just hoping that's what the issue was. I have dated girls before as a teenager, but I didn't feel much for them either, same with the boys and men I've dated. I do find women much more attractive than men. Just last night my friends were gushing about male celebrities that yes, are all conventionally attractive, but look like nothing to me. The female lead in the movie we were watching was gorgeous, and sexy if I'm being honest but I feel weird and male using words like that to describe women. Women are so beautiful I'd feel too self-conscious dating one, meanwhile men honestly have low standards. Idk, I'm probably just damaged and afraid of intimacy.
No. 376135
>>376124>You were turned on by all of those things you describeI'm not confused about my sexuality and not in the habit of watching lesbian porn. Just replying to a topic I find interesting.
Going by a clinical definition I was aroused, as in I experienced a parasympathetic reaction to something revolting causing increased blood flow to my genitals, but as someone who experiences sexual attraction I can tell the difference between being horny and repulsed kek.
No. 376182
>>376098>I for one can't relate to "all humans are a little bi". I've always been inherently a little put off by vulvasI get that, but the really fucked up thing that keeps me up at night is that even this is subject to change. I would have said the same thing as you two years ago, my whole friend group was gay throughout school and I even tried to get myself into women and pussy to fit in, but just couldn’t do it because I was grossed out. But then randomly many years later I got a crush on a really handsome elegant woman and for the following year I’d masturbate to exhaustion every night of week thinking about having sex with her. Ever since then, I started thinking vaginas are beautiful, I even daydream about them when I’m feeling pent up. Conversely, like you I used to LOVE looking at dick, thought it was so sexy, but ever since what I just described I cannot find them appealing to save my life and they just look goofy and unsexy to me.
I know this is not a common experience at all but the fact that it can happen at all confuses the shit out of me because it runs counter to “born this way” theory that most people (and even myself, previously) believe in. Like how is this possible? Like I said, it keeps me up at night and has caused me to develop somewhat incapacitating sexuality-based OCD which is miserable.
No. 376189
>>376186Ayrt, yeah, but other than that crush being the “
trigger” for the change, it doesn’t seem linked to individual people. Like I didn’t have crushes on anyone in particular in my school days and yet I still was only into dick and though vagina was offputting. And now the reverse, even though I don’t have a current crush. You know?
No. 376260
hi nonnies. im still sorta a newfag and have only lurked thus far. sorry if this is too long, im usually on snow and dont know if this counts as a "blogpost" here or if i need to sage this? pls forgive me. Ive always known i was attracted to men, had 1 boyfriend so far in 18 years and liked physical contact, kissing, hugging etc. but penises genuinely fucking disgust me. like make me sick. the idea of a man going down on me is.. not the most appealing. i think i just view men as very gross, mean, and objectifying. but i still want SOME to hold me against a wall and makeout with me. when it comes to women ive had WAY less crushes on them, and it might be partially because i just feel no attraction to straight women or "bi" girls that only date ugly racist white guys. i would love a girl to go down on me, and although i think id be really nervous and scared to do it to another girl i still totally would if i loved her. women are soft and theyre so kind and warm. ive never been with another woman in a romantic relationship but ive kissed a lot of girls. spin the bottle at like, 9 with a group of ~14 year old girls teaching me to "makeout" should've been my awakening, right? but honestly i was too young and mostly just confused and thought it was weird how kissing felt. it also was a bit.. weird due to the big age gap and how most of them were straight? but anyways i dont care about labels, or at least i dont want to care. i guess i just feel stupid. i dont think im a lesbian, i definitely find men attractive and would like them to hold my hand and kiss me but… i cant be attracted to a man sexually. i like women romantically and sexually though. what.. am i? i just feel lost i guess. and weirdly emotional about it all. growing up i was called a lesbian a LOT for being more tomboy or masculine and my nickname being a stereotypical mans name. that made me furious to be labeled without permission. when other kids decided what i was before i had a chance. so i never explored that side of myself since i just didnt want to listen to them, i guess. maybe im just a bisexual with weird shit going on. people are complex and maybe its dumb to expect other randoms to know whats going on in my head by some long winded post on an image forum. sorry again if i fucked up, nonnies. i appreciate anyone who read this convoluted tale.
No. 377404
>>377400Anons in this thread are so weird about shit like this. The whole reason we believe TiFs are women is because their chromosomes are XX and they have vaginas. Acting like being attracted to women in clothes that are associated with a certain gender - even though things like suits and pants are biologically completely unrelated to sex - acting like that is heterosexuality just sounds like validating gendieshit to me. So, what, if you don’t think she’s bisexual or lesbian, what do you think she is then? The only other option is straight. Even though she just said she’s no longer attracted to men. Stop being retarded.
Personally nona I don’t know if it’s even worth looking for a label at that point, you have a very narrow preference. I’m also the same (I have less interest in men now that I prefer TiFs and butches) but I also like regular women (and the rare occasional moid) although I’m also pretty picky. Are you still attracted to some men? If you are I’d say you’re still technically bi. I think you should just let yourself like what you like, if all is confusing “not-straight” or “unsure” are completely fine things to settle on.
No. 377409
>>377400She said she specifically thinks it's hot BECAUSE they are still women. Lusting after women's breasts and fantasizing about seeing them naked is not heterosexual behavior at all.
>>377270You're probably bi. I've heard that bi people can have strong "cycles" where they prefer one sex strongly before switching. It's also possible that TIFs represent a "safe" way to explore your attraction to women, or perhaps it's the taboo/forbidden element of unveiling her vulnerability. Ultimately, you're attracted to women, and it sounds like you used to be attracted to men, which sounds bisexual to me.
No. 377488
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>>377460Why are you talking on behalf of OP when OP stated themselves that they are a straight woman only attracted to cross-dressers. You are really grasping for straws and proving me and that other anons point. Also i don't give a fuck about your trannies that live rent free in your head loser. It doesnt change my view or observation on most of these being hetero straight women.
No. 377532
>>377270Here's a down to earth reply since this thread is a mess : you are probably bi with a strong fetish. That is all.
The sex you are attracted to is what defines your sexuality. When you have a non-sexual thing that turn you on so much you need it to experience attraction/arousal it's a fetish. Doesn't mean it's bad, but it's technically one.
No. 378000
>>377745Moids who can ONLY be attracted to women with long hair ARE long hair fetishists, though. It is central to their sexual attraction and has a strong erotic value by itself - it is very definitely a fetish. It's as old as time and the most widespread, with an entire history's worth of text and artworks to prove it. The world being shaped by men's fetishes is just considered normal (and in fact women who fetishize long hair on men are considered deviant by the very men that lose their minds over muh pixie cuts ruining female beauty). Bi scrotes have fetishized male crossdressers and tried to pass it off as "actually straight and normal" for ages too, as we know.
Again a fetish doesn't have to be bad/deviant/immoral, I don't think anon is either of these things.
>>377548Honestly I don't think you'll ever get fully rid of it and you should probably just roll with it. You got it "organically" it's not like you got poisoned by porn or something like that.
No. 378279
>>378277Samefagging, but ever since i had my awakening, it’s like my entire mentality and view of the world switched. Now instead of looking in the mirror and asking myself if I look “pretty” the way I’ve styled myself (always no, kek) I am instinctively asking myself instead if I look handsome or cool (still no, because I was born ugly, but you get the point).
I tried explaining this to the therapist I briefly started seeing for this problem, and she just said I sounded like one of her male tranny clients, which made me feel horrible. I don’t see her anymore because she was a really bad therapist and I realized there’s just no way for me to afford therapy, but I think I really need it because I don’t seem to be able to come to terms with this by myself.
No. 378286
>>378277I sincerely doubt only 1% of the population is bisexual. nonnas may hate me for using this term, but I think for a good percentage of the population, our sexuality is somewhat “fluid.” by that, I mean a lot of people are naturally bisexual, but it depends on cultural contexts and circumstances for if they’ll actually be bisexual in behavior. bisexuality is pro-social behavior and has evolutionary advantages, as demonstrated by the fact that every mammal species on earth displays bisexual/homosexual behavior. this isn’t to say that there aren’t some people on either sides of the spectrum that are 100% gay or 100% straight, but I think many people fall somewhere in between. in historical societies where bisexuality was more normalized, way more than 1% of the population was bi.
sorry for the sperging kek but don’t overthink it so much. it’s perfectly normal to be bi, even if you haven’t been thinking about having sex with women your whole life or if you generally prefer men
No. 378460
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No. 378476
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>>378458
>I look feminine and neotenous and have small hands, I look completely straight. Why would I be gay?
I can't believe you're a real person this reads like parody
No. 378499
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>>378488please get off of 4chan and interact with women irl. it has been rotting your brain, and you talk like a moid
lesbians come in all shapes and sizes. take a look at these wedding photos if you want to see some examples of what lesbians look like:
https://www.brides.com/gallery/same-sex-gay-wedding-photos No. 381907
>>344673Do I still count as straight? I'm only attracted to close friends or someone I have a close connection with. I kind of have a soulmate fantasy where I have a best friend and lover who is like my other half, and it doesn't really matter to me if it's a guy or girl, but I think I'm more physically attracted to feminine guys than girls. I might have developed feelings for two female best friends I had. I never had a crush on a guy I knew in real life, except as a little child because he was my preschool best friend, but after that, I never befriended any males after childhood years in real life. I'm also only attracted to feminine-looking men as well. Every guy who looks masculine is very unattractive to me. I fantasized about cuddling or kissing crushes I had, but I also wouldn't do it in real life, and I never even told my crushes that I liked them, so I wonder if I'm also asexual. I have an aversion to sex, but I sometimes fantasize about it, but not really with women though. I can't imagine having sex with a girl because I kind of don't like the way vaginas look. They look like gaping wounds to me while dicks look cool. I still wouldn't want to do it in real life because I find it uncomfortable and repulsive, because again, it's only fantasies
No. 381914
>>381861I genuinely have no idea what your point is or why you brought up her dating men. I certainly wasn’t saying anything about her being itching to date men, she literally said the opposite.
I was just saying people who get off on snuff/gore are mentally unwell and should seek help for that and maybe not be on here asking if it makes them gay/bi/straight because that’s really not as important as the fact that snuff gets her off. She’s got some crossed wires.
No. 381925
>>381896 >>381862
We should date, nonas.
>>381914Sorry for questioning my sexuality in the questioning sexuality thread lmfao
>>381915I really don't see the issue with it. Men get off to insanely hardcore shit and are everyday opportunistic predators but god forbid I want them dead. It's not like I have the capability to carry it out IRL like they do.
No. 381936
>>381907>I'm only attracted to close friends or someone I have a close connection with. hookup culture and the gender crowd would have you believe otherwise, but this is a very typical way to treat romantic attraction
>I'm also only attracted to feminine-looking men as well. Every guy who looks masculine is very unattractive to me.you have preferences and standards kek. preferring pretty males over the more rugged ones isn't something you should other yourself over
>I fantasized about cuddling or kissing crushes I had, but I also wouldn't do it in real life, and I never even told my crushes that I liked them, so I wonder if I'm also asexual. I have an aversion to sex, but I sometimes fantasize about it, but not really with women though.this reads like you're sexually repressed and like you have issues with intimacy due to inexperience. it probably doesn't help how heinously misogynistic and hypersexual society at large is–but i digress. a little more time growing into yourself and exploring would help you out here imo
>I can't imagine having sex with a girl because I kind of don't like the way vaginas look. They look like gaping wounds to me while dicks look coolyou're straight with baggage,
nonnie, and that's okay
No. 381949
>>381936Thanks, I thought I was too extreme because other people I knew claimed I was clingy. But it's because when I actually really like someone, I end up getting stuck on them and investing my energy in them only, and other people find it weird. I can't imagine investing my energy in other people; it's just too much for me. I can barely let my guard down around people I knew for a while. I just feel so vulnerable. and im not the type of person to like to be attracted to someone based solely on physical appearance, so im just not attracted to 'attractive' males or just 99.9999% of the male population if that makes sense.
I actually grew up in a puritanist, misogynistic household and was basically a whore from birth in the eyes of my mother. Maybe that could be the reason why I'm so uncomfortable with sexual stuff as well. Like, I was so sexualized since childhood that I didn't even want to be a woman. I was really ashamed of it and tried to suppress my feminine side. I hated my body so much and it only gotten way worse after puberty.
No. 381958
>>381912>>381918>>381932>>381935>>381936Im nta and I swear this isn't bait I'm genuinely confused about this. whenever an anon says she fantasies about men but she thinks dicks are weird and she don't want to have sex with men other anons tells her she is straight/bi, but whenever an anon says she fantasies about women but she don't want to have sex with them anons also tells her she is straight. Why is liking dick
not a requirement for being attracted to men but liking pussy
is a requirement for being attracted to women?
No. 382089
>>382088I mean, many phenomenons of the human experience are driven by evolution. I don’t think it’s an absurd question to ask.
>Just accept that sexuality is subject to change and don’t bring that shit hereDo you see how this is a non-answer though? This is just saying “idk, just give up trying to understand it” and I don’t accept that. Everything has an explanation. Plus, most people in the world would not agree that sexuality is subject to change, so you can’t just throw that out there as a discussion-ender.
No. 382091
>>382089Anon was saying she thinks biology has somehow made it so females specifically become attracted to the same sex briefly and before being attracted to males again just because that’s what happened to her. I’m sorry but there’s no way that could be navigated on a biological level (we are not that specifically coded) so of course it’s a little silly.
You know what I think? I don’t think sexuality is genetic or something you’re born with. You can be predisposed to a certain sexuality but it’s very much just a psychological phenomenon based on how your brain perceives different sexes. It is random and can be affected by experiences, personality, environment, how genders express themselves socially and time period. That’s it. I don’t know why people behave like it’s more than that and it seems like trying to overcomplicate a very simple biological feature. Other animals just fuck whatever with the physiological tools they’re given and don’t need to overcomplicate it like we do with our cognition.
No. 382147
File: 1709160998399.png (54.18 KB, 686x308, orthodox.png)
>>344673>I CHOSE to accept his offer and repentHow real do you think this is? He continued to have urges for eight years (even if he didn't act upon them.) Do you think he still has them and just represses really hard; or is it actually possible to gaslight yourself into being straight if you deny yourself very hard?
I'm an orthodox catholic, even with a boyfriend. Basically everything about attraction to women is incompatible with my life. I think about it a lot and feel really guilty but I'm tired of both the guilt and the yearning. I really hope it's possible to just choose to make it go away.
And another thing: I think choosing a lifestyle (being celibate, refusing to GIVE INTO sexual urges) is different from "choosing" a sexuality (internal adherence, eliminating all inner urges on a psychological level. Genuinely not wanting it anymore)
I'm unsure how well founded the latter is in reality. Ethically, in Christianity, basically everybody suffer from some sexual proclivities that are sinful. God doesn't ask you to not have urges, he asks you to not act upon them, right? So, even if I physically can't choose my sexuality, the burden is still on me, isn't it… I feel a bit stuck.
How do I approach such a stalemate? It feels I have no option to approach at all. I would never think of actually dating/kissing/having sex with a girl, even though I yearn for it all the time. I'll never satiate these wants, I can never act upon them, but I can't eliminate them either, and the yearning is very painful combined with the shame. No matter how hard I try to intellectualize the situation, I find no way to eliminate the friction. I really can't be a catholic homosexual, it's impossible, but I refuse to abandon either.
No. 382161
>>382087I dated someone with big brown eyes and couldn't imagine ever finding blue eyes anything but ugly. Then we broke up and now I have a crush on someone else and I think her blue eyes are beautiful. When you like someone, sometimes everything about them seems like the best version of anything.
>I'm lucky I didn't act on itOr maybe you missed out on the best sex of your life with that girl, but whatever
>>382147>How real do you think this is?Girl are you asking if we really think god came to this homo in a dream and told him to dump Andrew?
No. 383102
>>383043Do you remember how those crushes felt? Were they similar to how you felt towards the girl later, or was it stuff like "he's cool and I want to be his friend"? You mentioned being Catholic and bullied a lot, do you think that might be a factor to considering yourself straight? I used to think I was straight before I was 12 because I grew up religious and thought being gay was a sin, until I liked a girl and it was completely different from the boys I wanted to be friends with as a kid. Even then, I don't think what children feel really counts as tangible attraction because they're kids.
>>383086It's just autism. Only feeling sexual attraction to fictional characters is still attraction.
No. 383121
>>383103>Do you leave the house? Interact with people?Yes and yes
>Tried dating around?Not really since I've never met anybody attractive enough to want to have sex with, and the only time I tried dating I got anxiety (the guy was not attractive so it didn't help either).
No. 383948
File: 1709967308338.jpg (75.59 KB, 580x580, s-l1600.jpg)
Straight women can enjoy looking at boobs, right? for example, i was browsing ebay today when i saw this pic for an item i wasn't even interested in but i clicked it because i wanted to look at her boobs. Nice breasts are just objectively pleasurable to look at, right?
No. 383955
File: 1709969810740.jpg (292.77 KB, 386x608, xeHPEnM.jpg)
>>383951Ntayrt but she's referring to this meme, 'mirin stands for admiring (especially in an envious way). Just as straight men stare at dudes' abs at the gym it's totally normal for women to ogle at pretty women or nice bodies on their computers, we tend to be a lot more subtle about it though. Sometimes it makes you feel creepy but at the end of the day everyone likes looking at hot people lol, there shouldn't be any shame to it.
No. 384083
>>384052original anon who posted the photo… I don't know that I necessarily feel anything in my pussy but I definitely want to
touch and kiss the woman's boobs in my picrel. But I feel like I just like boobs, not women in general. There was a girl in my high school debate class who was almost flat-chested and so never wore a bra and I was always trying not to get caught with my eyes glued to her chest. I didn't like her though, she was an actual NLOG lesbian who cozied up with the asshole boys and loved to be edgy. But I did wish I could stare at her chest.
When I was a kid I used to draw pictures of women with big boobs kek and my mom was always like "why are you drawing them with such huge boobs, anon" and 7 year old me was like "idk, looks good" kek. although weirdly as an adult I'm not into big boobs anymore.
Anyway, isn't it possible to just have a boob fixation without being gay?
No. 384115
File: 1710041726598.jpg (14.21 KB, 436x413, 663.jpg)
>>384107>Are you basically just confused as to why you want to fondle women's boobs?Yes
>Like if you think about kissing a woman or having her fondle your boobs, for example, does it turn you off?i dont think i'd want to kiss on the lips but i might like to kiss in other places. I often think it would feel nice for another woman to fondle my boobs, sometimes i squish my own boobs and imagine it a little
>>384104>Are boobs the only thing you like about women?I think so. I mean I don't feel pulled to women the way i have in the past towards men.
I'm also the anon who posted this confusing dream the other day
>>>/ot/1911299Why is my body giving me weird half-signals?
No. 384764
>>384124I wouldn't want to that that tbh, for one it feels gross to be used in some moid's kink, and secondly I wouldn't want to contribute to the unicorn hunting culture that already plagues dating apps.
>>384129I would be too scared that she would realize she's grossed out by it midway through and it would be so awkward, plus how do you even fid bicurious women, it's not like we really tell people… this is why I think I'll never be able to do it kek it's just too awkward and embarrassing and I'm a retard who doesn't know what she even wants.
No. 384800
File: 1710295258572.jpg (98.7 KB, 1024x576, 1000001120.jpg)
I've had nowhere else to vent about this experience so I might as well just vent it here. As someone who, at the beginning of this year, was jumped and mugged by a gang of women at a lesbian bar in my city I can safely say that my bisexuality has been cured. I no longer care about same sex attracted women and I no longer consider myself curious for anything involving women. I frankly don't even want to have friendships or engage with women in any sort of way anymore this experience has traumatized me so much. Picrel was what my face looked like after the attack. They felt comfortable ganging up on me while I was all alone. I guess this means it's back to the drawing board and going back to searching for a Nigel in futility lol
No. 384812
File: 1710300269879.png (854.4 KB, 928x991, kek.PNG)
>>384800you got them good with this one lmfaoooo
No. 384822
File: 1710302761047.png (255.41 KB, 576x537, jfhlsajfk.png)
I feel like an idiot because i really don't think I'm really bisexual but also i probably made like 20% of all the total posts in the female fantasies thread while thinking about an actress I was infatuated with. if someone posted like at least 3 times weekly in the female fantasies thread for a year straight is there any chance they are just straight and confused? Can you like to fantasize about something but not do it irl? If so, is it wrong? Why does it make me feel guilty? When I actually think about doing the fantasies I posted about irl with someone from real life it feels awkward and weird and not appealing, so I think I am straight, but why do i have so many fantasies?????? Am I just autistic? Just retarded? Is it just that the woman the fantasies were about is my one "exception" and that's why picturing doing it with other people from real life turns me off? Is it because she was androgynous and my brain was just tricked? Can that really be the explanation if I was fantasizing about her pussy the entire time? What is my damn problem, why can I not be normal. I'm supposed to have myself figured out at this age.
No. 384867
>>384825well I don’t watch porn anyway so that’s not the explanation. And I would do what you and
>>384847 say and find a woman I like and sleep with her if it was possible, but I’ve only ever been attracted to that one woman so it’s unlikely I’d just encounter someone irl, and it’s even more unlikely they’d reciprocate because
i have a pretty ugly face. So I know that people might think “then why does it even matter?” But it does matter to me for some reason, the incongruities of my sexual orientation bother me and I feel like I need to understand myself just for my own sake but am finding it impossible. Things without explanations bother me deeply, and since this is so personal it really plagues my mind because I think it’s only natural to need to understand yourself.
No. 384896
File: 1710353792326.jpg (105.87 KB, 700x979, 1be2d6b71233fad92b7a4026dd9e9a…)
After years of questioning I am still unsure if I'm just straight, or "mostly straight". Idk if the Kinsey scale is real in any way but I got a 2 last time compared to the past when I'd get a 50/50 bisexual result. I might've shared my story before but here it goes again for those who missed it.
Growing up I never had a real crush on any woman, but I was a bit fascinated by butch and androgynous women. I don't really feel sexual attraction to anyone, man or woman, before developing romantic feelings. So it's not like I can look at celebrities or randos and think they're fuckable or not, to try to understand my sexuality. I just don't work like that. So the pull pretty people have on me is really non-sexual and weak at first.
Either way, I was drawn to female androgyny and sometimes I'd get nervous seeing a really pretty girl from another class, thinking about how delicate her face was, and I still remember one time when she complimented my lips so many years ago. That was the extension of my "attraction" for women. At the time I thought it was more like admiration at their coolness or beauty, rather than sexual or romantic attractive.
Then things changed. I had a short phase when I watched porn like a pathetic loser, which is extremely weird considering I had never felt sexual attraction to anyone irl before deepening our bond first. It is like I was attracted to the sexual acts, not exactly the people, and that coincided with me meeting this sweet lesbian who developed feelings for me. I felt attracted to her at the time and genuinely had feelings for her too. She was kind, artistic and so intelligent.
Things fell apart between us after a while and I was depressed for months because I was so incredibly into her. But we never got that far together. We confessed to each other and we had a sexy conversation once but that was it.
Not long after I stopped talking to that woman, I got involved with a friend. We made out a lot and touched and kissed each other for weeks. I loved every moment of it. Until the day we went all the day in and I was turned off and confused. I didn't like her scent, taste, or the way she seemed to fake it during the act. At first I thought it was just because we weren't a real match, and that I'd have been turned off having sex with the wrong guy too (I had never done anything consensual with a guy besides kissing at this point). And that's true, I would have. But it was more than that, I think it was my confirmation, at the time, that I am straight.
Not long after that I quit porn for good and my interest in pursuing a girlfriend faded away too.
I eventually went back to talking to guys and I have had serious relationships with men and I have a male partner now in my 30's. I believe he's the right person for me.
Sometimes I still think single me would be able to fall in love with a woman again, if she was as sweet and wonderful as that one lady I had feelings for. But I don't know. That woman was one of a kind, she was amazing to me and I probably had an idealised idea of who she was. Maybe I was never bi, just confused by past trauma involving men and pronography. Maybe I am bi, but with a strong preference for men, and pushed my bisexuality away because of an unpleasant first time?
What are your thoughts, nonnas? Please help
No. 384916
>>384896You probably won't be able to get definitive confirmation unless you wind up single again and experimenting with women, but if you know you were ever attracted to a woman, genuinely, then I think you're bisexual. You might have a preference for men, and/or you might just have been turned off by your negative sexual experience with a woman. I think it's safe to say you have some degree of attraction to women, whether it's conditional, waxes and wanes, or is weaker than your attraction to men. Although, ultimately, if you're in a relationship with a man who you have no intention of leaving, it all seems to be a bit of a moot point. Good luck nona.
No. 385197
File: 1710500229844.jpg (34.4 KB, 511x383, 1000026868.jpg)
since I was a little girl I knew I wasn't straight. I only ever got real crushes (with hints of autistic obsession tbh) on female classmates, teachers and actresses and think my experience with "dating" boys/men could be classified as textbook compulsory hetero(bi?)sexuality. I always felt the pressure to be involved with a guy and grew up in a very homophobic environment. despite that, I never fantasized romantically or sexually about boys, only girls, and ~fell in love~ with a couple of my female best friends. as an aside, my Internet access was unsupervised as a tween and I found porn at way too young of an age which I feel could've warped my sexuality maybe. penises have turned me on before but it's like a very detached kind of horny, where I don't want to think at all about the man attached, let alone desire him as a potential partner or someone with whom I want to be intimate. I'm 31 and cannot see myself ever dating or pursuing males (ie I date women exclusively) but once in a while I'll discover an actor, musician or model and find him attractive (young James Spader, Edward Furlong, Sam Elliott for example). additionally, I just find it hard to think of men as people as wild as it sounds so this latent attraction, no matter how superficial, weirds me out. wtf am I even
No. 385265
>>385263NTA but I'm the same way and it's a result of
too much exposure to men lol
No. 385333
>>385263ayrt here. I've lived with a man for over a decade (it's super complicated–I'm disabled and he's like my caregiver since I don't have any family, but he's also my "ex" and my best friend). romantically I have a "lack of exposure" to them but that would be the only sphere in which that's true.
>>385265 describes the phenomenon well. also, it's not that I don't view men as people but moreso that I can't and have never really seen their personhood as something I wanted to be familiar with intimately. the magneticism just doesn't, or hasn't, exist(ed). thinking about being in love with a man in the way I could be with a woman (totally consumed by Everything About Her) just feels impossible.
anyway, I really appreciate all the responses to my initial post <3 I'm currently thinking of how to go forward with navigating my bisexuality, in the sense that I don't want to perpetrate the stereotype of bisexuals needing to ingratiate themselves amongst lesbians etc. but for so many years I've not thought of myself as anything other than gay! much to think aboot it seems
(no emoticons) No. 385336
File: 1710547884407.png (62.8 KB, 578x547, __houraisan_kaguya_touhou_draw…)
>I've not thought of myself as anything other than gay
>I've lived with a man for over a decade
>he's also my "ex" and my best friend
Every fucking time.
No. 385350
>>385336>>385340around the time my ex and I stopped being intimately involved (I was 23 & am now 31) is when I, I guess somewhat naively, started living as a lesbian. I believed I was gay and ~came out~ and we mutually ended things for that reason. my situation is highly particular and specific, like I previously said. I have been in a wheelchair my entire life and don't find it odd that the person I've lived with for 10 years, who is also my caregiver, is my best friend. if it matters, he's more like found family at this point. I get your exasperation and hate to come off as defensive but my lived experience is highly unusual and different than most. that's also why I didn't include these details initially.
>>385337thanks anon
No. 385810
I'm pretty sure I'm bisexual with a strong leaning towards the same sex (females), but here is the original sperg post I've posted already on two different threads:
"I don't know what to label my sexual orientation. I am female and after so many times of trying to concentrate or try to feel something, anything, towards male bodies.. I realize that I just can't do it, no matter how hard I try. They either cause me to feel sick to my stomach at worst, and absolutely nothing at best.
With female bodies, though, a completely different story. I get aroused even when women are doing nothing sexy at all, or doing something benign.
At the same time, though, men have had sex with me, and I did tried things with them, so I think lesbian is out. I don't want to offend people or make them think I am trying to be something I'm not, but I don't know what to do or what to label myself that is as unoffensive as possible.. yet lets me reject males in peace.
I can't let another man touch me ever again. If one tries, I might just kill myself, I'm not kidding."
I can't decide if I just can't get aroused by men because I've been abused too much by men (I lost my virginity through rape and I guess I never recovered from that), or if I'm just weirdly ashamed of being bi for some reason.
Thank you. You're free to ask me anything if you need more info.
No. 385876
>>385851You just sound like you've been warped by porn (albeit fictional porn), not bisexual. It's be one thing you wanted to have sex with characters but everyone I know (including myself) who looked at porn/nsfw fanfic/hentai at a young has been warped by it, straight or gay or bisexual. If anons in this thread can watch objectifying irl porn of women but admit to finding vaginas or dating women disgusting and be considered straight porn addicts, I don't see why the opposite can't apply. Looking at other people having sex isn't the same as having sex or feeling attraction. I didn't feel attraction to another (real) person until my mid-20s but reading fanfics since I was a kid made me think I was bi or one of those made up labels like pansexual or demisexual because I liked romance regardless of sexuality.
>>385861I agree.
No. 385893
File: 1710729781734.jpg (84.97 KB, 272x272, 1365307405816.jpg)
>>385861>>385866Kek'd at the fujo falseflag. All the women I've known irl that like yuri are the super autistic kind that realized that they are bisexuals through anime coom. Some have a nigel, some have a girlfriend. Meanwhile, none of the lesbian friends I know get behind the fujo lesbian bullshit (even some bisexuals), and if you ask in any non-troon or ~sapphic~ lesbian place most lesbians will tell you women that are into BL/yaoi/MLM media are a redflag, and if they get off to it it's even worse. The sad reality for you is that whatever you get off to is a reflection of what you find hot when you don't have the IRL mental barriers.
No. 385945
>>385876Yep, in those spaces there would be reader insert fanfics. I'd read them and enjoy the backstory and fluffy parts, but any time there was a kiss or sex scene it felt wrong, I couldn't even imagine having sex with or kissing the male characters I liked so much. Whereas female characters I could.
>>385856Yeah I've been staying away from it for now! Back when I read it, I thought I wasn't attracted to anyone. Honestly I thought I was asexual or something all through my teen years. But then I realized signs in the past that I was attracted to women and got my first female crush and the m/m stuff lost its allure. If I can put it into words, it feels that I realized fantasies can involve actually being attracted to the people in the fantasies, not attracted to the dialog or descriptive parts.
>>385857Actually the opposite, a lot of lesbian spaces I see now are overrun with girldick shit and women whining about the gold star label. This thread is actually what made me start worrying about whether the fic I enjoyed was a sign of osa. I feel like I'm always searching for signs of that now.
>>385861That's what I've also been thinking, it does seem pretty useless to call myself bi if I'm never gonna be with a man. Surely if you're bi the idea of being in a relationship with a man isn't repulsive to you, but an actual option? But even when I was about 12 or so before I realized I liked women I fantasized about "platonically" living with a woman and couldn't imagine being with a man. Anyway that aside I would like to use the label lesbian but I don't want to be one of those people that say they're lesbian but is actually bi. It's a great shorthand for saying I'm not interested in men and will only date women but I'm scared there's osa "lurking" that disqualifies me. I kinda wish I'd never stumbled across yaoi when I did (10!), maybe this would make things easier.
No. 385987
File: 1710773176496.jpg (186.79 KB, 800x800, 1000001197.jpg)
>>385924Not the anon you were talking to, but Yuri Espoir is the best Yuri Manga in my opinion.
(belongs in the yuri thread) No. 386916
>>386902Thanks
nonnie. I'm mostly attracted to masc women and it's pretty rare to come across masc female characters in the media.
No. 390879
>>390792samefag… I guess my concrete questions are:
>Are any of you also mostly gay/straight but “with an exception”? >If so, how do you conceptualize yourself (to yourself, to other people)? >Do you have any theories as to why your exception is your exception? >How common do you think having “an exception” is? Please don’t reply to this just to be nasty or call me stupid. I’ve heard all that before so you don’t have to bother.
No. 390904
>>390792>>390879you're bi and its okay. bisexuality is, at the risk of sounding retarded here, a spectrum that isn't always perfectly 50/50 in the attraction between males and females. the fact that you are able to have an exception is proof of your bisexuality.
gay men don't have exceptions when it comes to women. it's 100% men for them. lesbians don't have exceptions when it comes to men. it's 100% women for them. vice versa for straight people.
No. 391775
File: 1713309427794.jpg (114.29 KB, 653x817, IMG_20240417_013914.jpg)
I've been thinking about finding a passing tif to eat my pussy for some time now as most males my age (20) have hideous facial hair and premature wrinkles. They've all hit the wall. I'm straight (knowing the tif is a woman is gross to me) but I dont think I'm going prison gay. Women with masculinising plastic surgery and hormones simply look better than males. Plus as long as I don't have to interact with her pussy it's just masturbation with extra steps. It's like using a vibrator with a cute face. Technology has improved greatly and you can witness the "y" chromosome dying off in real time. I wouldn't be surprised that most tifs have more testosterone than meat dildos and their superior female genetics give them a beautiful and symmetrical bone structure. I can see early intervention tifs replacing males for me. I can't be the only straight woman feeling this way. I know most tifs are pimply 4'11 straight girls, so my question is: are the handsome ones even into women? They're so dick worshipping, they all seem straight to me. The best looking ones are always doing gay porn. And I'm worried about the testosterone making them retarded hormonal messes like actual men. I'm not questioning my heterosexuality at all, I just wonder if I'm the only one thinking about this. I want something like picrel but slightly more masculine.
No. 393342
File: 1713983373305.jpeg (51.48 KB, 736x414, IMG_2965.jpeg)
What’s my sexual orientation if I’m only attracted to women, and bc anime cross dressers? I think I’m a lesbian, but confusion comes because my husbando is Kuranosuke from Princess Jellyfish. I think he’s extremely beautiful, and he’s the only moid (fictional or real) that I have ever looked at with attraction. If he was real, though, I would not like him, because not even his pretty face could make me like penis. I hesitate to call myself lesbian in online anime spaces, because I find this character extremely attractive, I just don’t think I would ever have sex with him
No. 393556
>>393542did
you read it? she said she's attracted to him.