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No. 253921

Like the title says.
Previous Thread: >>133562

No. 253937

Bf keeps losing his erection with condoms and it's draining our sex life.. He says he wants to get those boner pills like Viagra but I can't help but feel a 22 year old taking erectile dysfunction medication is extremely off. This wasn't happening before because I was on birth control but I'm thankful to be off that mess and don't want to risk it. What do people do when it's almost impossible to have sex? It's not that there isn't other things but none of them feel as intimate, and I don't like the idea of never being able to do it with condoms. It doesn't seem to matter what brand or size he tries either..

No. 253944

He needs to stop masturbating. Erectile dysfunction in a man so young can only be caused by pornsickness and death-grip syndrome. He grips his dick so tight during his coom-sessions that a vagina doesn't feel tight enough for him and the excitement of being with a real woman does not compare to the over-acting porn stars.

No. 253945

How can I deal with vaginismus without visiting gynecologist?

No. 253946

I'm going to say condoms aren't the issue and that there's other factors at play when this shit happens to a 22 year old man. If you've tried thinner condoms and they're still enough to do this it's not the condoms fully causing it. He's either already desensitized from pornsickness and that was just the tipping point or he's mentally too attached to the fantasy of rawing and cremapies and again that could be from years of porn setting his expectations. Reality isn't porn and his skewed idea of what counts as hot sex is being let down.

I've only had this experience with one guy and it wasn't a serious relationship so him blaming the condom was enough for me to say.. no condom, bu-bye then. I don't know if I'd have the heart to work through this issue with a man or picture a future where we've to get his dick to work again when tbh they often just deny the porn issue outright and without that honestly you can't move forward.

No. 253947

Assuming he doesnt plan on children any time soon, consider vasectomy.

No. 253948

I don't know why, but I just can't seem to feel horny ever … I feel like when I'm having sex, I'm just going through the motions and it isn't very enjoyable to me. I love my boyfriend very much and he is a handsome sexy man who takes care of his body and eats well, but I feel disconnected for some reason? Sex doesn't excite me and I fake being excited so it doesn't ruin his fun. I guess I'm not a horny sexual person, sex doesn't excite me and tbh I was grossed out by it when I first started having it in the honeymoon phase. How can I get into it more? I'm not on any meds for depression or anxiety, I am on birth control though which makes me dry down there. I guess I should also mention that I lost my virginity at 24 and never had a boyfriend before then. I didn't grow up kissing boys but I have fantasized about them and crushed on them before so I know I'm not asexual. I guess my libido just disappeared once I hit 23? It seems too soon.

Also, I want to learn how to swallow. The taste isn't that bad because he eats well and exercises. It's just that I have a small mouth and he usually has a LOT of semen. I feel like I'm choking or drowning and I don't like the texture. It's like a wet booger or phlegm. Any advice on that?

No. 253949

Don't push yourself to swallow, he's already had his orgasm so apart from ego stroking it's no big deal what you decide to do with it. If you have to 'overcome' something or 'learn to like it' then don't do it. That's rule number one of sex imo

No. 253956

Consider dropping the birth control for a time to see if there is any change.

No. 253965

Put it in the back of your mouth and start swallowing as it starts to come out, like when you are chugging water. That way you also don't taste it as much cause it doesn't touch your tongue.

Personally I prefer to swallow it rather than spit it out because you already have the stuff in your mouth anyways and spitting it just swirls it around your mouth more and makes the taste and texture stay in your mouth longer.

No. 253967

Anon have you told him about any of this? If he is a genuinely good guy he'll try to understand and you can both discuss possible solutions. I had the same problem in a 5 year relationship and I didn't tell him for a long time. When I did tell him he felt awful about having sex when I didn't really want it. In the end we broke it off because he couldn't do something to me that I didn't want, and I couldn't force myself to just do it to make him happy. We're good friends now and we're happier that way.
Also you really shouldn't force yourself to swallow if you don't like it. He's already getting an orgasm while you don't.
> I feel like I'm choking or drowning and I don't like the texture. It's like a wet booger or phlegm
Don't indulge his whims just because you love him. Clearly this disgusts you so you shouldn't do it.

No. 253971

Unpopular opinion, call me a scrote or whatever, but if you want to have a relationship with a man you gotta do a little bit of give and take and that includes sometimes doing things that you are not 100% enjoying yourself. Men need sex a lot more than women do because that is how men bond emotionally, this is scientifically proven. They also just have a much higher libido than us, imagine how you feel on your horniest day, that is how men feel all the time. While for us it is enough to cuddle and say nice things to each other, for men the sexual aspect is extremely important for the health of the relationship and for their bond with you.

Obviously don't force yourself to have sex if you don't want to, but I'm gonna be honest you will probably have a really hard time finding a man who is okay with not having sex or very rarely having sex and especially if you have sex a lot with them in the beginning because you want to keep him around and then once you are in a steady relationship you slowly start to taper it off cause you feel like you don't need to make yourself do it anymore, you are gonna have a failed relationship every time. Either be honest from the get-go and hope to find a man with a very low libido, or just don't have a relationship.

No. 253981

He always does foreplay and kisses, massages and cuddles me before sex. We make out and grope each other. And I usually warm him up and get him hard by stroking it or sucking on it. He always eats me out before he puts it in because that's the only way I can get wet (I have never used artificial lube before). Once I orgasm and he puts it in, it feels really nice and that's the only time I ever get horny.
Yeah I think that might be the cause that killed my libido. I don't want to get pregnant though and condoms aren't that nice. I like feeling physically connected to him without a barrier in the way.
Thanks anon, I will give that a try.
I've only done it once and it was something I've never experienced, so of course I got shocked and disgusted by it. But I'd like to overcome my gag reflex and be able to do it.
That's exactly my reasoning and logic. He obviously fantasizes about me swallowing a lot and finds it hot, and I'd like to please him in that way because I love him very much. He is a very good guy. When I ran to the sink choking and spat it out, he hasn't asked me to swallow ever since or dirty talked about it. He looked genuinely concerned too and his boner went away lol. He told me I could skip that part and he can just cum in me the other way. Men have an obsession with having their sperm inside a woman - it's like the pinnacle of male sexuality, whether it be in the vagina or the mouth.
I can't really say what his libido is. I think once a day is ideal for him - 2x a day is too much. We do it once a week now that we're both busy with school and are in a long-term relationship. When we were in the honeymoon phase, sometimes we'd do it everyday, once to four times a day. I did force myself at the time but that's because my hormones were on a high for my first ever boyfriend and sexual encounter.

No. 253995

There is nothing wrong with using lube btw and if you think it might be awkward to apply it in front of him you can just do it in the bathroom before you get it on, you can use a little syringe (with no needle) to get it up in there. Trust me it makes sex a lot more enjoyable for both. I was also very dry when I was still on the pill and it helped a lot.

No. 254026

I was about to make a new one of these and also use a cat as the picture lmao. you beat me to it.

in theory I agree, but the thing about men's desires is that they're often gross and influenced by porn. I don't mind giving blowjobs, I think of it as pleasuring my partner because I want to make him feel good, but their obsession with swallowing is really offputting to me. it's like they care more about making you swallow cum than the actual orgasm they get from a blowjob. it almost feels like it's more about humiliation or it's some kind of dominance thing. when I asked my ex why he wanted me to swallow so bad he couldn't even come up with a reason. it's kind of disheartening when you want to pleasure your partner but he cares more about making you swallow his bodily discharge than the actual pleasure.

No. 254033

> Once I orgasm and he puts it in, it feels really nice and that's the only time I ever get horny.
This makes no sense.

No. 254040

Spit the cum onto his face

No. 254044

Or better yet, cumkiss. You never know, he might like it.

No. 254048

I'm not horny mentally, it's a physical reaction when I orgasm from getting eaten out/fingered. I only get horny after that, only when he puts it in. That's when I get emotionally/mentally turned on.

No. 254051

That's what my best friend did when one of her exes came without a warning. Apparently he never did it again kek.

No. 254052

Anon have you ever had an orgasm for real. What in the fuck are your posts.

No. 254055

This a tons of other underlining psychological issues. Any traumas maybe?

No. 254073

Or as others like to call it, snowballing

No. 254125

Buy a set of vaginal dilators/ pelvic floor trainers and read up about pelvic floor training with them. You start with the smallest size, relax and breathe, and train your muscles not to clench upon insertion.

No. 254129

Kek I’ve never had a boyfriend in my life but I want one who loves eating me out and facesitting, how do I find a non-pornsick guy like this

No. 254142

I haven't met a man who didn't enjoy the idea of facesitting and eating pussy. The real issue is finding a non porn sick man.

No. 254164

Well you just have to know the red flags of a porn sick guy and see what his fantasies are. If it involves domination, swallowing cum, cum shots, or any other porn influenced ideas, then you know you’re with a pornsick guy.
What are other ideas men get from porn?

No. 254177

Assuming that he's losing his erection because of the condom, either it's too tight or it's a weird fit (this has happened with partners of mine who weren't pornsick) Then you can do a couple things:
>switch condom brands, doesn't even have to be size wise just some brands fit nicer than others
>use a diaphram/spermicide combo, which is about 93% affective at preventing pregnancy, moreso if he pulls out. It's a bit more to think about but if you're not an overly fertile woman this could work for you.

No. 254181

File: 1649182375669.jpg (6.16 KB, 450x450, 21bC3mqau0L._AC_SS450_.jpg)

I want to get a clitoral toy for the first time, and I was wondering should I buy Satisfyer Pro Penguin next Generation or Pro 2 Next Generation? I don't know if theres any difference, as to which one would be better, so for me the only difference is the price, the penguin is 10€ more expensive.
sorry for bad eng

No. 254185

not sure how it would compare with the penguin but i own the pro 2 next gen and would recommend it

No. 254192

Hey anons, I got an issue with chafing. If I have penetrative sex with my boyfriend on a regular basis, about every 15 hours, the friction causes my inner labia to chafe. It feels dry and it stings a bit, when this happens I take breaks from having penetrative sex and it goes away within a day or two. I am not sure if it's an issue with lube or how wet I am, since we wait until I am very aroused until we have sex and the condoms we use have lube on them. Or if it's due to the fact that we do it so frequently and he tends to be inside me for quite some time as well. Not sure if taking breaks and adding more lubricant would help, as he needs quite long to orgasm due to the fact that we use condoms now.

Let me know what your tips and solutions might be. Although I'm fine with other sex acts penetrative sex is my favourite and it kinda sucks since I get chafing if I do it too often.

No. 254194

Not really a question but fucking non pornsick guys really opened my eyes as to how fucked up my standards was. Someone not wanting anything painful, asking me if things are okay before doing them, telling me just cuddling is just as good, not wanting me to swallow, not wanting anything porny or bdsm.

No. 254196

Try using bottled lube cause you don't get that much volume of lube in the condoms. Like use as much lube as you need for the skin not to rub but instead to like glide against each other.
Also make sure you are thoroughly washing (with water) and drying yourself afterwards to minimize skin irritation.
Also try the extra thin condoms so that it helps reduce the lack of sensation condoms can induce for men.

No. 254197

Open question but how old were you when you properly got off from partnered sex and how many years had you been active for? I’ve been with awful pornsick scrotes but also guys who really cared about making me feel good but a man’s never gotten me off before. I masturbated a lot during high school/college and now I’m scared my body is too used to the way I’ve been doing things for 10 years for anything else to work.

No. 254204

I started having sex when I was 14, didn't have a proper orgasm with a guy for a year or 2 and it was only via oral/fingering and using sex toys together.
I didn't have an orgasm from just penetrative sex until I was about 20-21.
I still find it much easier to orgasm via oral or using toys whilst having sex with a dude.
Penetrative sex orgasms depend a lot more on the mans equipment and how he moves his weight during sex in my opinion so I think some men just can't hit the spot due to anatomical reasons out with their control to some extent (heavier men can exert more pressure/power during sex so it's not just a penis thing either).

No. 254213

A guy i'm seeing told me of a situation like that before, he was telling me that he got soft while fucking his ex but this was mainly because he was tired. he felt so bad about how she felt afterwards so he avoids having sex when he's tired even if he's hard in that moment

No. 254214

why would you want to learn to swallow if you don't even enjoy having sex with him?

No. 254219

I lost my virginity at 16 and it hurt at first but didn't take long to get into it. The guy i lost it too only could get me off a few times from pentration. Some guys haven't been able too and one ex had a load of partners before me and he would get me to have multiple at a time. He was honestly great experience, he didn't make you feel self conscious and was patient for me to learn what I want. I met him when I was 24. I never even masturbated solo before him but I never told him but he like sparked my sexuality and I now can get myself off no problem, even with lackluster partners.

No. 254221

maybe 18? i have a boyfriend of five years and it genuinely took me two years for my brain to like… let me have it. it was by no lack of trying on his end and i think part of the psychology that finally let me get there was how hot it was to see him beg for it lol. i can still only cum from like 30 minutes of oral

No. 254222

samefag, forgot the second part of the question kek. i lost my virginity a couple days before i turned 15 and started dating my current long term boyfriend 5 months later

No. 254226

Are there any notable signs before having sex that lets you know if they're pornsick or not?

No. 254228

Ntayrt but ask them about their masturbation/porn habits, this can be done in like a flirty way if you don't want them to feel like you are scoping them out.
Talk to them about fetishes and kinks too, this can be done in a jokey way or by commenting on like someone elses sex life if you don't wanna be direct.
Usually this will give you a good clue about what kinda shit they are into an if it's hardcore crap they have picked up from porn.

No. 254229

Yeah I have, orgasms aren't that great to me tbh. I guess I"m just not a sexual person. I can physically get off but not mentally when he eats me out. It feels like he's far away when his face is between my legs licking my clit/fingering me. I like it when his body is aligned with mine and we are kissing with our hands on each other because it is romantic and feels like we are intimate and bonding. My libido is non-existent when his head is down there and the orgasms aren't mindblowing as a result. It gets mindblowing after I'm done orgasming, when he is holding me and he is inside me. That's when I'm mentally and emotionally horny. I wish I could have a vaginal orgasm even if they're not real because when he has his penis inside me,that's the only part where I feel mentally/emotionally horny.
I want to enjoy having sex with him. Maybe participating in more sexual acts will make me more sexual and awaken something in me. And I like pleasing my partner. He's always expressed swallowing as a fantasy of his, and I like to get him off in whatever way I can.
I'm also very inexperienced and have only done typical sex positions.

No. 254231

I think that's a good idea for the most part, but I'm afraid they'll hold back anyways, especially if they get the impression you're more innocent than them.

No. 254233

Yeah try and not give too much away about what you have and have not actually tried but you can bring up lots of more out there kinks and talk about friends or influencers/celebs that are into that shit and watch his reaction.
Lots of men will be super interested in a girl bringing up kinks etc and honestly you don't even need to say it's something you have tried or would like to try to get them to talk about their own preferences.
Usually you can tell if they are holding back, try bringing it up when they are tipsy if you feel they are the type to hold back that information.

No. 254242

Anon it's OK to not really be a very sexual person. Why are you trying so hard to change yourself and do things to please him when you don't even get much enjoyment out of it? And is he willing to compromise at all or is it just his pleasure alone that matters? Doing something you don't like often won't magically make you like it.
>>254190 is right. Please stop doing this to yourself.

No. 254248

If they have good female friends since childhood(view women as people not objects), good friends in general they spend time with(not having time to sit and jerk off, not having internet brain rot), if they are affectionate(not only focused on sex) and give you plenty of genuine compliments not only on your looks(not porn induced standards and comparing you to filtered and shooped models).

Although one of the best I've slept with was a complete coomer man whore, but didn't mention other girls at all, only focused on pleasuring me, didn't want anything in return, stopped the second he suspected I didn't like something, asked before doing anything, but I think he was a unicorn.

No. 254253

My boyfriend has a high libido but he uses it to eat me out and rub my clit out multiple times a day if I so desire. He never expects me to make him cum, and if I do he knows it's because it's something I felt like doing and not because he emotionally bribed me into doing so. Women set the tone and pace and frequency for sex. You let men do it and you get pornsick shit, guilt tripping, and endless coercion.

No. 254299

I also lost my virginity at 14, and didn't orgasm with a partner until maybe 17? I had a bf I didn't know was a virgin until after we had sex a couple times, but I ended up training him to make me orgasm and he was keen to do it.
I'm very lucky though in that the partners I've had want to make it a priority.

No. 254343

Kind of want to try hooking up with this old friend from highschool who I met at work. The thing is, I've never hooked up w anyone and I don't even know if he felt that way about me, I think we're about the same hotness so its not.. like unbelievable. Idk, I'm retarded

No. 254367

My boyfriend didn't watch porn and that still happened to him. He's healthy, active, and muscular, but his testosterone levels still came back low. He got on testosterone injections and the problem is gone now.

Endocrine disruptors are a rabbit hole that's worth investing time into and unfortunately they affect testosterone more than estrogen because of the fragility of the molecule. Maybe your bf is simply a pornsick scrote but hormonal issues are worth considering. No 22 year old should be suffering from ED.

No. 254548

>I don't even know if he felt that way about me
You are talking about a guy, unless he is in relationship he is 100% down to fuck.

No. 254562

Virgin here, how does facesitting actually work? Isn't it dangerous for the person that's being sat on, and how can they stimulate their partner if their face is being pressed on? Sage for no advice, but it's really been bugging me for a while lmao.

No. 254595

I'm also a virgin but I don't see that it'd be dangerous unless you were significantly overweight. You're straddling his face, not bearing all of your weight down on it completely.

No. 254686

You as the face sitter have to be mildly conscious of the weight you're putting on them, though if you're slim/don't weigh much it shouldn't be an issue. Plus if you're grinding on their face you're applying pressure to various points and they won't feel too suffocated

No. 255054

I thought suffocating was the point of face sitting, I would ask, then can always tap out

No. 255430

>live out tranny practice without being a tranny
What did I do in my past life to deserve this

No. 255447

I can't orgasm with my sex partner, only if I masturbate. He'll give me oral as long as his jaw can stand it, he'll finger me and apply any constructive criticism and tries very hard to pleasure me (although he's careful to never put any pressure/expectation on me) and has bought all sorts of toys for me to help.

What's the problem? I get horny, sex feels good, great actually! But I can only climax by myself. It would be nice if I could do it with him.

No. 255460

Sounds like a psychological thing. Do you feel some sort of insecurity concerning your body, sexual performance or anything?

No. 255465

There might be some hang up that you have. Have you had this issue with other partners?

No. 255467

Wasn't able to orgasm with my partners if they had a nasty attitude or bad hygiene. Does he have any habits outside irl that bother you?

No. 255476

I've read about people trying things to purposely lower their libido, but has anyone had any success with the opposite (raising it)? Please don't just go "just accept yourself, everyone is different". I've tried a ton of supplements, I'm not on antidepressants (although I used to be on Bupropion for years and it did nothing) or birth control, and my hormone levels are okay, same with my anatomy down there. But I just don't get horny, I don't feel nothing anywhere, and it bums me out.

No. 255505

I honestly don't think this is exceptionally unusual. I'm the same way. (Unfortunately in my case it's led to me identifying as greysexual.) I guess I don't have much useful advice besides keep working on enjoying sex as a shared experience of intimacy & pleasure rather than a means to achieving orgasm.

No. 255521

Graysexuality isn't real.

No. 255548

I'm the same and never actually cared. I really enjoy the penetration part and I am fine with masturbating after. My current boyfriend has a hard time ejaculating cause of his medication, so most of the time when I'm over it, I just tell him that I want to stop. We then masturbate together. The only time I managed to have an orgasm (clit) was when the guy was sitting on the couch and I was riding him. My clit rubbing on his belly did the job. It never happened ever again.

No. 255560

Lifting weights. It made mine go crazy. Took a couple months but it definitely made a big difference. There’s also herbs and stuff that act as aphrodisiacs if you want to use them. There’s yoga for opening your hips and helping strengthen your pelvic floor too which might also boost your sex drive if your really tight and constricting blood flow, in general.

No. 255652

File: 1649629377317.jpg (Spoiler Image, 46.42 KB, 750x476, kirbt.jpg)

Okay so, I just started dating this guy, and from what he tells me it sounds like he has a very curved downward penis (I haven't seen it), to the point where he thinks that intercourse simply will not work (he is a virgin). It's so sad because he's really attractive but from what I read about Peyronie's disease (and because his dick has always been like this), it doesn't seem like it can be cured? Like at this point he would definitely be in the "Chronic" stage. He's still able to get erections and has a really high sex drive and high stamina however. He was already skittish because of the whole virginity thing. I don't know if I should pressure him towards going to a urologist or just accept a relationship with him will be penis-less. What softens the blow a lot is that he is very generous and eager sexually but I just want it to be more equal. Either way I want to stay with him, I adore him. It's just this one thing. Do any anons have experience with this? Advice?

No. 255665

Prolly the most useless post itt lmao

No. 255669

That's interesting, do you have like a certain routine with it (how long and the size of weights)? I've also tried various supplements, and I've tried those so-called "libido boosting" ones that apparently have aphrodisiacs in them, but taking them is akin to a sugar pill. I've done pelvic floor relaxation to try to make penetration less painful for me (kinda worked), but still no arousal feelings, unless I have to do that too for months?

No. 255675

I have a routine. I focus on full body and core/lower body. (Not get a huge butt but because glutes are important to support your pelvic floor. The bonus is not peeing yourself later on in life.) I do ten pound kettle bells and hand weights, focusing on squats, swings, and basic lifts. It takes probably like an hour three or four times a week. It took a couple weeks but the building muscle and change in hormones that comes with it made a big difference. I also started sleeping more and drinking more water and it helped a problem I was having with wetness my bc was causing so make sure you’re in general taking care of yourself.
With pelvic floor there’s relaxation and there’s kegels. You’re pelvic floor is like a shelf that supports everything down there but like other muscles it can get too tight or weak. If your doing too many kegels and no stretching you’ll over tighten it and can lead to tightness, pain soreness, blood flow issues, and bladder issues. If it’s too loose it can be difficult to have proper muscle control and lead to bladder issues later too. Does that make sense? Essentially you’re trying to build a solid foundation in general in that area and working out and building muscles increases testosterone which leads to a high libido.

No. 255733

File: 1649653919048.png (1.8 MB, 1282x927, motor-scooter-ride.png)

i'm going to be seeing my long distance bf soon. we only got close and started dating once he moved away so we've never had sex with each other before.
he's made it clear that he is very into riding which is something i am not really confident with (i've told him and he's still excited). i'm not a virgin but every time i've tried to ride in the past it hasn't felt right. the guy will always need to put his dick in me cause i can't get it to stick in correctly and i just feel really awkward until we switch positions. i really like this guy a lot so i really want to learn how to do it right (especially since it seems like a lot of women find it super pleasurable) so are there any good tips for a complete noob like me?

No. 255743

Have you tried shatavari? I definitely noticed a difference on it, and one of my friends told me she had to stop taking it bc it made her too horny lmao

No. 255762

Honestly I think if you're not comfortable with it, you shouldn't do it just yet. Get comfortable with him doing things you find comfortable and pleasurable and maybe you can build up to it. Otherwise just tell him no, that you'd like to be comfortable.

No. 255855

AYRT, no, I never heard of it but pro-sexual supplements tend to not affect me. What brand did she try?

No. 255888

how do i properly give head? it seems like i never get my bf close to finishing unless we do piv..ive tried going faster, playing with balls, going deeper etc but nothing seems to work? am i just bad or is he not sensitive to it? hes cut and afaik that can reduce the feeling..

No. 255912

File: 1649736986700.jpg (40.72 KB, 600x800, 3651651635.jpg)

Every scrote is different and you'll have to try different techniques to find what he likes the most. There really is no "proper" way to give head.

However, I do think there are some things you should do and that is definitely using enough spit. Don't be afraid to get it all over yourselves. I personally think the sloppier, the better. If it's too dry, he won't have any pleasure from it. Also, a lot of girls don't realize this, but you also need to be in a comfortable position to give him head. Find a position that's most comfortable to you. Otherwise, you'll get tired more easily before he can come or you'll interrupt it constantly trying to reposition yourself. I find it best to have my bf laying down on the bed, with me sitting up between his legs.

As for things that maybe will work: My bf really likes how enthusiastic I am to suck him off. Act like you're hungry for it. Moan and hum while you're sucking him. My bf has told me the vibrations from it feel really good. Try sucking his tip while stroking the base of his dick. Some guys prefer that you don't change the pace, so maybe try that. Maybe try teasing him too. My bf gets pleasure whenever I make him beg for my mouth. Don't give it to him right away. Kiss and lick his tip over and over. Talk dirty to him while you do it.

But also nona, it's ok if he can't come just from oral. It doesn't mean you suck at it. I don't always get my bf off with just oral. Sometimes he needs more stimulation. There's nothing wrong with treating bj's as just foreplay. Good luck.

No. 255916

god I hate implications of that pic being used for that response…

No. 255918

it's just a meme, chill

No. 255932

File: 1649749408027.jpg (67.46 KB, 564x751, 1646745251458.jpg)

I'm very into CBT and dick stepping but my boyfriend is unwilling to meet me halfway and is scared, is there any way I can make him accept my fetish?

No. 255936

File: 1649749914912.jpg (451.93 KB, 600x800, 921587b61fa8e9ac2ce818ec7b670e…)

This is similar to my situation. Basically I love boyfeet and my bf gets self conscious whenever I try to suck on his toes. He says they're smelly and ugly or w/e. He's paranoid to the point he's always wearing socks and slippers when he never used to before. it's like he is hyper aware and gives me a weird look if he knows I am looking at his feet. What should I do nonnas? Should I explain that a foot fetish is uncontrollable and part of my brain chemistry? Should I suggest something to him that meets me halfway?

No. 255937

File: 1649750380084.png (819.12 KB, 800x1200, ead3370788ed76259a942825a834ac…)

So I was thinking he could keep the socks on? Maybe it's the skin contact that's making him especially apprehensive. The thing is if the stocks stay on they have to be musky and smelly (and somewhat dirty, like he's been on a run or to the gym) otherwise it does nothing for me. So I can give him the option of having naked clean feet or musky socked feet.

I know he's self conscious about the smell two but maybe if it's one or the other he'll feel more relaxed.

No. 255938

File: 1649750425510.jpg (219.45 KB, 850x842, 86643163530fd7.jpg)

have you tried removing his socks and doing it without prior warning? i think he would be very turned on by such a bold move and warm up to it. you may start doing it in his sleep to condition him. he really should let you though, he sounds ungrateful as hell

No. 255941

Yeah I have tried getting to his feet by force but he gets really defensive (he even cried once) saying I was breaking his boundaries and trust. But I just don't see any other way I could have done it. I keep asking and he keeps refusing so I thought maybe forcing him would make him actually realize it felt good, but… I guess not. Maybe I should have mentioned it earlier. I have forced sex (and other fetishes) on him multiple times already and he eventually gives in but I can't get him to accept the feet thing.

Maybe I should educate him on how beautiful his feet really are? Like he wouldn't be so self conscious if I described how I loved his arches, sole wrinkles, and optimal toe length in detail- because then he'd know I'm serious and I know what I'm talking about.

No. 255942

Footfags truly have no chill
I'm dying at the thought of your poor boyfriend wearing socks around the house because you're like a hungry goblin obsessed with his feet
If he's not into it, you're not compatible, you lil freak.

No. 255943

It's literally how my brain works and its harmless. What is wrong with boyfeet? Explain.

No. 255945

Oh no the poor bf!1!1 kek fuck off

No. 255946

File: 1649751320875.jpg (32.54 KB, 350x708, 1624013205494.jpg)

Begone scrote

No. 255948

Women can like feet. I thought nonnies of all people would understand. I'm tired of being called a scrote when I'm not one. There literally nothing wrong with boyfeet, if more people were open to the idea my bf wouldn't even have this prejudice against me.

No. 255950

seconded, why can nonnies discuss how to suck their boyfriends best but other women can't discuss how to live out our own fantasies? much to think about

No. 255952

please stop calling it boyfeet you sound like a fucking pedo tranny

No. 255953

Men can be conditioned to be aroused by anything. Maybe try sneaking in some videos and references when he happens to be turned on? Or reward him with sex after you watch "nutshot fail" compilations on YouTube? Just make sure it's not TOO obvious otherwise he might catch on. Eventually with enough training he'll be more receptive.

No. 255954

File: 1649752025201.jpg (196.41 KB, 850x1357, sample_673975b6f4775f7edcb22c2…)

Manfeet are always associated with nasty bara males drawn for gay men. I may like feet but I still have standards.
Bishiefeet sounds too weird.

No. 255955

Right so it's ok to gag on your bfs chode but not ok to enjoy some delicate boy toes?

No. 255956

Take it to fujochan

No. 255957

they’re only associated to that by weird scrotes or fujofags who spend too much time looking up gay footfag porn. nobody else here is going to assume you’re into shitty bara art. i support your endeavour to get your boyfriends you-know-what’s in your mouth but stop referring to it as ‘boys’. i can’t emphasise enough that it sounds seriously either like you’re a tranny twitter coomer groomer or as though you’re playing danny devito in always sunny. god bless

No. 255958

you gotta pay the troll toll if you want to get to the boys toes, you gotta pay the troll toll to get feet

No. 255960

There’s literally no such thing as cute pretty “boyfeet” anon… they’re all nasty i’m starting to doubt you even have a boyfriend cause that’s the number one thing you’d notice if you were looking at his feet

No. 255961

>teehee yeah I rape him sometimes
Sure some women like feet but YWNBAW

No. 255962

File: 1649753283482.jpg (16.06 KB, 480x360, squidsponge.jpg)

Ok since we are already confessing weird fetishes and reluctant bfs I finally gathered the courage to ask my bf to RP with me a few months ago. It started off mostly vanilla like dr/nurse and a little brat taming and segued into RPing as fictional characters.
So I need you all to know my first sexual awakening was to SpongeBob. It's always been a secret of mine but I felt comfortable enough to bring it up to my bf and ask if he could RP with me. Obviously it was awkward to talk about and reveled a lot of uncomfortable and embarrassing childhood memories, yet somehow he agreed.
The only problem is that he won't be SpongeBob. He says SpongeBob is too effeminate and it would be too "gay" for him to act like him comfortably. But, he's ok with being Squidward and me being SpongeBob. I told him that just having fake gay sex is already gay and it doesn't become more gay if he's the "bottom" (though I'd let him be a SpongeBob top). The thing is, I am attracted to SpongeBob primarily so I want to have sex with SpongeBob, not Squidward, and not any other character.
I just wish he would be more understanding. I do a lot for him and I RPed situations with him I wasn't completely into.

No. 255963

Maybe watch episodes with him where Spongebob is in a more masculine role?

No. 255964

Honestly nonnie the most concerning thing here is how weirdly misogynistic his aversion to RPing as spongebob is.

He doesn't want to be spongebob because he thinks he's too effeminate? It sounds really scrotey to me. He obviously thinks femininity is beneath him and humiliating. Were you always playing the role as a fem/sub in other scenarios? idk it's a huge red flag to me.
That's just avoiding the deeper issue here which is her bf's misogyny.

No. 255966

File: 1649754476566.png (372.76 KB, 631x740, squiddaddy.png)

No. 255969


I'm sorry to be laughing at your misfortune but I'm laughing so fucking much, I really hope this is not a copypasta

No. 255975

Girl, I'm too embarrassed to even ask if the guy I like is single you got this

No. 255987

same kek I'm trying to find the courage to text him meanwhile anon's negotiating spongebob rp. teach me your ways nona

No. 256036

File: 1649783271899.jpg (9.75 KB, 250x193, thumbnail_6dd1df7ab36e0146651e…)

Why not rp as Sandy so he can no longer say it's gay to rp a spongebob because you're roleplaying heterosexual sex.

No. 256042

There's nothing wrong with being into feet, but if he's not into or comfortable with it (him literally crying is such a red flag that you need to stop) then you need to break up and not figure out ways to "make" him tolerate it. Most people don't even like how they look, I'm personally kinda into massages but if my partner didn't want to even do that I'd just drop it and do something else. Footfaggery is more common in men anyway so it might not even be hard to find a new BF who is into it.

No. 256061

lmfao i refuse to believe women are capable of being as degen regarding feet as men. this is fucking bizarre. having been with footfags in the past it is a nightmare honestly. not a moid defender but if anon is truly as degen as male footfags i almost feel for him

No. 256066

File: 1649795482803.jpg (12.47 KB, 320x276, 9y2122.jpg)

>I have forced sex (and other fetishes) on him multiple times already

No. 256109

not to sound like a men's rights activist, but actually imagine if someone said this with the sexes reversed. sounds fucked up right? some of you bitches here are straight up schizo. lmao get help.

No. 256111

File: 1649808483055.jpg (27.85 KB, 750x719, FP2mNCjUcAAv1Dm.jpg)

mfw reading this post

No. 256121

File: 1649814548904.jpg (53.28 KB, 640x616, oh-hell-naw-they-burning-spunc…)

I have so many questions, wdym role play Spongebob? Does he imitate the voice? Do you quote Sponebob memes? How was Spongebob your sexual awakening please nona I won't sleep at night until I have answers

No. 256125

Nona can you please keep us updated with what comes out of this?

No. 256127

File: 1649818132519.png (92.18 KB, 351x247, 43423432.PNG)

No. 256128

File: 1649818248700.jpg (108.65 KB, 1080x1283, 1648965482794.jpg)

I just started dating a guy and he's perfect in everyway, he's totally focused on being a sub to service me and i have loved our chemistry fooling around. But we finally had sex for the first time after fooling around for a week and he has a pretty small dick… i prefer oral and foreplay and he is so eager to please. But bc i have never been with a guy who was fully erect at like 4.5-5" i kept putting myself in positions he kept slipping out of? And im like trying to figure out if hes just an inexperienced otaku or if i need to lower my expectations for what small dick can do??

No. 256130

File: 1649818902559.jpg (71.2 KB, 1024x576, INCHD1542_40_thumbnails_1124x5…)


This. Compliment him on his anchor arms

No. 256132

isn't 5 inches about average tho? i've never seen that as small personally. although i'm pretty small myself so it has worked out for me. in my experience, performance and technique matter more than size. what's a size you wish he was?

No. 256137

NTA but I consider anything under 15cm to be small. Above 18cm is big.

No. 256139

I honestly dont care that hes small/average, bc i prefer clitoral stim anyways. It was just kinda annoying that any position (other then from behind and me sitting/ grinding on) didnt really work for him, he kept slipping out. Hes also a bbm and its my first time being with a guy w/ a belly and thighs.

Idk maybe it was awkward bc it was our first time having penetrative sex and i genuinely think its been YEARS since hes slept with a woman (he wouldnt say) But i kind of love that hes this servile inexperienced nerd boy. Its just my type, i just need to train him i guess…

No. 256145

tbh he might just be a virgin. at least concerning piv.

No. 256153

Men say this about women though. And much worse. Most men would even argue rape turns them on especially on anonymous sites and that anything where the man torments the woman it's natural because it's her role or something. Men will be conditioned to get turned on by anything, though. That's how chasers and cuckolds are created, most men go down the porn addiction rabbithole and also become pedos because of it.

No. 256155

no shit men also say fucked up things about women. that doesn't give you an excuse to also be a degenerate like them. what is this argument lmao. take your meds.

No. 256162

It doesn't work with the sexes reversed because women aren't coomchimps with lightswitch brains.

No. 256167

Cope and seethe, men and women are not the same, nobody here gives a fuck about respecting moids and their retarded brains

No. 256169

Go back to reddit. Men do weird abusive shit to their gfs and their gfs let them do it just to satisfy them. A guy being uncomfortable is enough to make you have a meltdown but men wanting and actually committing rape crimes is something you can brush over? Kek. He won't pick you, instead of caping for men's degeneracy, lose some weight and get some self respect.

No. 256170

Absolutely based

No. 256184

no1curr tard

No. 256188

how do i get better at enduring anal sex? i tried it for the first time with my boyfriend and he really liked it but for me it felt weird at first and then it downright hurt, i couldn’t keep going and i felt sore for long after it was over. (he didn’t just go ahead, he prepared me first so it’s not a matter of him being inconsiderate.)

he’s not some degenerate weirdo i just “settled” for, i love him and want to do things he likes.

No. 256189

>having fake gay sex is already gay and it doesn't become more gay if he's the "bottom"
my sides have gone into orbit

No. 256192

is this bait? Girl how can he like something that causes you pain? Have you told him that? If the roles were reversed would he be asking this question?

No. 256193

You also have no physical way to get pleasure from that. Is he just into doing stuff you don’t like and degrade you’s?

No. 256195

it’s not bait, i’m just socially and sexually retarded

i said that it hurt and he stopped right away but it still seems like he wants to do anal again, he’s brought it up several times since we did it. like talking about how great it was etc.

i really don’t think he’s into it for that, he treats me like a princess in all other situations (and like i said, he stopped when i said it hurt). he’s really good to me and always has been.

No. 256197

Ask him why he wants anal. Is he pornsick in the past? Does he think it's better than vaginal sex? Does he want it because he thinks it's hot? Next time he ask tell you would think it's hot if you put something in his ass and see if he sings a different tune.

No. 256198

Nonna you told him it hurt and he continues to bring it up and tell you how he enjoyed it, what’s not clicking here? If you don’t want to do anal don’t force yourself to, there are plenty of other things he could like that wouldn’t hurt you. It’s not worth enduring, and no man who actually cares about you would tell you he wants to do something to you that causes you pain for his own pleasure.

No. 256200

> Does he want it because he thinks it's hot?
yes he’s told me he thinks it’s hot, to my knowledge he has no history of pornsickness. he also often talks about how perfect he thinks my ass is, which might be related? he really likes vaginal sex too, i don’t think it’s a matter or preferring anal over vaginal.

thank you nonna (and everyone else who replied). i’ll tell him it just really hurt if he brings it up again, i think he’ll respect it because he’s really kind and selfless.

> there are plenty of other things he could like that wouldn’t hurt you

i know he likes oral but i’m not a fan of giving it, maybe i just need to get used to it because sometimes when i fantasize about it i find it hot. but then when i try to do it it feels really gross somehow. i guess i’m just really vanilla as a person. do you know any other things i could try?

No. 256209

>He said he's not a porn addict

No. 256210

>i said that it hurt
>he’s brought it up several times since we did it. like talking about how great it was
You told him it hurt… and he's forgotten that part and just talks about it being great. Jesus anon. Take off your rose tinted glasses and see that this is fucked up (closet) pornsick shitty bf behaviour.

Stop trying to do things that don't bring you pleasure. I promise you'll have much bigger regrets if your bend over backwards in bed than you'll ever have for putting boundaries in place.

No. 256211

>i’ll tell him it just really hurt if he brings it up again, i think he’ll respect it because he’s really kind and selfless.

Anon there should not be an again even, the first time was more then enough, the fact that he brought it up again just means he's trying to test out your boundaries like if he can whine enough about something that is pleasurable for him solely then maybe he can have the chance to use your body as no more then a mastrubatory object. Anon please realize we're saying this out of concern for you and as outsiders we can see the writing on the wall much more clearly with no feelings of love clouding our sight to see what's happening here

No. 256235

if it's not something you find arousing then why are you trying to 'endure' it? there's a difference between doing something he likes vs putting yourself through trials and pain just so he can stick his dick up your ass.
"doing things he likes" would be like giving him normal head or maybe tying him up - both of those things you can do without having your body be sore afterwards. having your ass fucked and then being in pain afterwards is not acceptable, and honestly who gives a fuck if he's interested in it or likes it? are you willing to put your literal butthole through pain and uncomfort just because he's seen this shit (no pun intended) happen effortlessly in porn? if you are, ask yourself: would he do the same for me? chances are he won't, not on the same level as anal you're describing here.

you are not "sexually retarded" but you seem socially inept enough to not understand that this man is pushing your boundaries. the only way he should ever bring up anal to you is if you personally enjoy and get aroused by it - and you haven't mentioned being that way, and considering it hurts a lot I'm guessing you don't. stop doing these things for the sake of pleasing him and thinking that he "treats you like a princess" because guess what, he isn't. If he really treat you like you deserve to be treated, he would have stopped as soon as he clicked you aren't interested or find discomfort in doing anal. But he's not doing that, is he? he's pushing you and bringing it up again despite the fact it visibly hurt you.

>i’ll tell him it just really hurt if he brings it up again, i think he’ll respect it because he’s really kind and selfless.
If this happens again it's proof that he ain't listening to you, nonna. If it does happen again - and for your sake I'm hoping it won't - you need to be firm. Don't be shy or try and "like, I think, I don't know" your way into this conversation. Your body was uncomfortable and in pain for a reason, and you evidently didn't enjoy it thus you need to be firm on your stance of not wanting to do it again, no matter how much he might whine at you. If he does object, then you might want to reasses how kind and selfless he is.

No. 256260

i’m >>256188 and i want to thank everyone who replied to me. you have all given me a lot to think about and i’m glad i asked you guys. thank you so much for taking the time to respond to me and telling me what i needed to hear.

love you, nonas.

No. 256294

>it keeps slipping out

nonna are you sure he's hard enough to begin with? i've been with a 7 incher who kept slipping out because his dick was never at 100% erection, and a 5 incher that didn't because he was diamonds the whole time.

No. 256296

Noni not to be a degen but my boyfriend loves my ass too. I don’t like things in my ass and I can’t get pleasure from it so instead he grabs my ass consensual and he likes to eat it while touching me. There’s way to enjoy ass that are respectful and feel good to everyone. Anal literally can’t feel good for you even if you can tolerate it.

No. 256371

File: 1649914370095.jpeg (90.71 KB, 500x707, 5753785689446.jpeg)

I'm reluctant to have girl go down on me. I can get stupid wet but hold it together with clit play but when I'm close to finishing I just start gushing and I can't control it. I don't want to accidentally piss on her face pls how do I not do that?

No. 256385

I’m getting warning signs that he kept bringing it up, that’s one way guys can coerce and manipulate you into feeling bad for them and going through something because they keep nagging you and mentioning it. Tell him it fucking hurts past the point of any pleasure, not worth the aftermath, and you don’t want to be in pain obviously. Then if he’s whiny and bitchy about that, there’s an answer about your future and his true priorities

No. 256401

You shouldn't piss yourself unintentionally anyway but just piss before you start having sex if you want to reassure youreself

No. 256409

um i don't think that's pee nonnie

No. 256459

thats hot tbh

No. 256461

I'm worried it's not just wetness, but like when women say they 'squrit' it's just peeing a little, it doesn't really smell like pee but I'd be mortified if it came out

No. 256462

I doubt you're actually peeing anon. That sounds hot and I'd happily eat you out.

No. 256465

This is a good thing nonna trust me. I wish I was like you, I'm dry as hell no matter how excited I get and it makes me feel like shit because of it. Enjoy your natural wetness, never be ashamed of it.

No. 256470

File: 1649963559412.jpeg (Spoiler Image, 497.14 KB, 1800x1800, 0f00aaa5-4648-4288-b7dd-d8b1a0…)

I just don't want to be a box of gushers, at least a bad box anyway

No. 256482

more of a vent i guess but i have a reverse foot fetish, i really hate that word actually so nevermind. its not a fetish i simply find the idea of someone cumming on my feet to be cute. anyways im big on cardio, running etc and my feet are disgusting with calluses and any footfag scrote is gonna be pornsick to death with a glut of unnaturally smooth weirdly drawn anime girl feet and will probably be repulsed by mine

this picture…

No. 256484

I’m a gusher and leave wet spots. No one has complained. Lots of people think it’s sexy. Just have an extra set of sheets for bed.

No. 256492

Noni. You’ll be fine. I won’t be weird but there’s loving not weird feet people who will love your feet because their yours. Got to just find someone actually into feet and you and not porn.

No. 256505

anon i am like this too! it is really hot to me to have my feet touched/licked or cummed on or just admired in general. luckily my husband is into stockings and feet so we are really compatible.

No. 256506

also i thought i had ugly feet and my husband loves them so im sure yours are fine

No. 256519

I mean there are ways to moisturize and scrape off callouses if you want to do that, but otherwise there are footfags who either 1. don't care or 2. can accommodate that.

No. 256700

hi nonna, sorry that this is so late but my partner has peyronies but the kind where it curves upwards. he's always had it but it's diminished over time. we cant do everything someone with a normal penis has (for example, its not versatile in that going 'against' the scar tissue makes his dick sensitive to pulling his penis too far in any other direction) due to the tissue we can't do for e.g. reverse cowgirl and oral but the curve makes missionary and doggy very good.

firstly, i would say that if you like this guy you could very well keep it up with him and if you get to the stage where you're comfortable having sex you could just try and see how well his penis could work in reality - it is hard to imagine but don't listen to how a virgin think sex works. there are definitely articles online about positions that can work for people w different types of curves.

secondly, if it does get bad, and you want to keep trying with him, refraining from masturbating can help lessen the effects of peyronies, and it also makes them more pent up and better at fucking. encourage him to get better with his hands and mouth to make up for the limitations of his dick.

No. 256817

My new bf is much more experienced than I am. I tried giving him a bj 2 times now and he never came at all. At times he lost his erection. Even so, he thinks it's great. I wish he'd tell me what I'm doing wrong because he gives great head to me. I did everything that I have read/watched: focus on head, shaft, massage the tests, use lots of saliva.

No. 256819

Your shitty bf is just addicted to porn, retard.

No. 256837

Well this is aggressive. Maybe, or maybe or he’s just a little nervous.

No. 256846

Is he on medication or otherwise struggles with orgasming?

No. 257163

he's either porn addicted or on SSRIs. he tells you everything is great because

1. he doesn't want to offend you (but even with shitty technique, scrotes should still be able to stay hard)

2. he's one of the two things i mentioned but he doesn't want to tell you the truth because he's scared you'll see him as "less of a man" (most likely option by miles).

No. 257189

You don't have to be the best of the best at bjs just to keep a man hard. His dick being in a mouth should be enough to acheive that. Especially with a new lover. Him not finishing is one thing (men get used to finishing by hand) but going soft.. he has a problem he's not telling you. I highly doubt this is on you or that looking up bj tips will do much to fix it.

Like another anon said SSRIs and I think some antipsychotics affect things but if it's not on them he's likely pornsick. Whatever the cause is it's on him to be straight with you and address it and most of all to stop putting you through the experience of sucking on a limp dick.

No. 257315

I've read that guys who take stimulants or benzos recreationally have similar issues when they develop a tolerance or go through withdrawals. If he's a rare unicorn man that legit doesn't watch porn, he might be a former addict who recently stopped (I knew a guy like that).

No. 258951

You’ll die alone

No. 263445

I'm 26 and my bf of two months is 29, we haven't had sex yet and he's being really patient and hasn't asked me to yet. Problem is he's my first boyfriend and I'm a virgin and I just don't know how to ask him about getting tested,yes I'm that inexperienced, don't bully me etc, it was because of cultural reasons. This would give me some peace of mind where my mother's only advice was 'you'll be okay because both of you aren't supposed to sleep around anyway' like she trusts in my trust? I got this idea to ask him if he's ever had cold sores to cover herpes and that's about it. How do I talk approach the subject? Say what you will about HSV1 being harmless but I don't have it and don't want it.

No. 263447

>Hey I'm interested in taking our relationship to the next level but it would give me peace of mind if we went and got tested for STDs together at a clinic. Is there a date and time that works for you?
Don't beat around the bush asking about cold sores and shit, just make him get tested. Any man with half a brain cell will not care about taking one minor step in good faith when sex is on the line. Don't let your shyness/embarrassment put your health at risk anon. It's not at all something you should be reluctant about requesting.

No. 263448

Exactly this >>263447, just say that.

No. 263452

Ok, I had no idea what words to say to make it sound natural and you did just that, thanks

No. 263458

You are absolutely correct anon. Lifting does wonders for me. I think it is not only the hormonal changes but also the overall self esteem boost that you get when you feel your muscles tighter.

No. 263471

Hi anons, my boyfriend always wants sex after we shower and that is cool, but we both shower together (and he always washes me, yey) after I get home from work which means I take off my makeup and get on my skincare/Vaseline and it just makes me feel ugly. I mean, we have sex, but it is so unenjoyable when I feel so ugly. How do I overcome this? I just hate how ugly and young I look without makeup, I don't look sexy at all.

No. 263484

This is barely a sex related question, you need to go to the BDD thread to figure out why you have such an issue with your natural face.

No. 263497

Is showering after sex not an option?

No. 263520

Consciously accept that he finds you just as attractive without it. He's being intimate with you regardless, so it obviously doesn't make a difference.

I used to feel this way too but eventually I just stopped wearing makeup and it made me realize how much I made my self confidence rely on it.

No. 263530

Do you really want to wear a full beat every time you have sex for the rest of your life? How do you not feel like a fraud. Shake off your shackles my lord.

No. 263661

I know why I have such an issue with my natural face, it's because it doesn't make me think of sex at all, it looks too innocent and it makes me cringe to imagine it having sex with someone

Sometimes I try to keep my makeup on after the shower. But I wish I could deal with the issue itself.

I am unfortunately fucked up in this department, my face isn't even absolutely beat.
>How do you not feel like a fraud
I don't because I see myself as I am with makeup on if that makes sense. Me without makeup looks like she doesn't have sex.
>Shake off your shackles my lord.
I guess they feel comfortable to me.

>Consciously accept that he finds you just as attractive without it.
I feel like this shouldn't be. I feel like he doesn't care how I look like at all. I get it, but sometimes I wish I knew his favorite outfits or looks or whatever.

No. 263725

>it looks too innocent and it makes me cringe to imagine it having sex with someone
That's legitimately retarded, are you pornsick enough to think being sexual means looking like a made up porn star?? Or have you convinced yourself you're babyfaced? I promise you don't look like an infant and have a normal adult face like everyone else.

Having sex with makeup on is gross anyway, that shit rubs off on the pillow and melts and ugh, yuck.

No. 263768

This isn't technically about sex but more about masturbation and orgasm.

I recently started SSRIs and immediately I noticed a change in sex drive. I usually masturbated 2-3 times a week and was able to bring myself to orgasm multiple times in a sitting. I could also make myself orgasm relatively quickly. Since taking the SSRIs, I haven''t felt horny in the last 8 days but tonight I felt a little horny and decided to try. It took a long time to reach orgasm and it was actually really hard maintaining. My arm hurts and trying to reach orgasm just felt tedious. I was able to bring myself to orgasm twice but the whole session took nearly an hour. Before SSRIs I can reach orgasm around 3 times in 30 minutes.

I know its only been a week since I've started antidepressants but this is sort of freaking me out. I like my quick and easy Os. Is the fact I'm able to orgasm a good sign my body will adjust to the antidepressants and my sex drive will resume to normal eventually? Or is it too soon to tell since the SSRIs are still building up and my sex drive will get worse before it could possibly get better?

No. 264035

I want to stop feeling shy during sex. I've been sleeping with the same person for 10 years but I still just find myself freezing when he gives me prompts (very simple ones like "how does this make you feel?") I hate being on top, I hate receiving oral. Anything that is focusing on me causes me overthink. I still like sex and being close, and he's happy but wishes I was more open. Lmao at this point me saying "that feels good" makes him want to cum immediately since I'm quiet usually. I like seeing the kind of power I have over him like that, I don't think there's anything he would say no to if I asked and I want to utilize that kek. I just need to get over myself. I guess this was mostly a vent but felt like the most appropriate place.

No. 264047

You might permanently lose it

No. 264058

The SSRIs fuckeing you up this quickly indicates it will only get worse. Switch medications asap or get off them altogether.
Do you have a history of sexual trauma? Do you have low self esteem? Is it hard to trust your loved ones? Are you ashamed to exist, take up space, have wants/needs, feel pleasure, etc.? If you struggle with any of that, those are the things to work through.

No. 264076

> I like seeing the kind of power I have over him like that
I'm not trying to be harsh but that's such a strange conclusion to come to. It's like opposite land. It makes no sense to break into talk of power and all the lmaos and keks after what you just shared is strange. You're first describing a reaction that sexually traumatized or just highly uncomfortable or insecure women have to intimacy.. and that dragging on for a whole decade with a partner and then next thing you're talking about your power over him? It's never too late to seek therapy and find out the root of your issues but you have to stay grounded in reality if you want to get help for it. Ten years of this as your intimate life is going to take a toll on him whether he's too nice to show it or not. Nothing short of therapy will make a breakthrough if this is going on for ten years already with the same partner. And part of seeking help might include him breaking the news to you that it's been hard to be on his end and to pretend everythings fine. Be open to hearing that. This isn't hot or powerful or a fantasy but you can make strives if you take it serously enough.

No. 264212

I can see where you're coming from but it's not really a power fantasy so much as it was just fun to get a reaction out of him. Any hang ups he has with our sex life I'm aware of and isn't really the issue here. We have a dynamic that works so it's not like I'm some timid traumatized log just bearing it. It's still fun and something I seek out. I just can't stand being the focus.
All of the above, am recently in therapy which is what had me thinking about this stuff in general. Trying to advocate for myself makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong.

No. 264244

How do I tittyfuck? Bf really wants it but I have no idea what to do to make it feel good

No. 264247

Get the inside of your boobs really slippery with spit or preferably lube so it won't be drying out constantly then use your hands to squish them together around his dick like a hotdog bun while he does his thing. You can move up and down for him but I always find that awkward since you have to move your entire chest where the guy can more easily use his hips to thrust. Either look up at him and encourage him along or you can occasionally lick him. Most important thing is just the wet skin so the motion is smooth and his dick isn't uncomfortably dragging. The pressure for him is obviously not going to be as intense as your mouth or vagina but that's the point, the softness and visuals

No. 264275

File: 1652696299167.png (5.3 KB, 182x203, 874-InbyuO-96HfUI-hgjUJ7867BH6…)

reposting from the vagina thread cus it's not really active, but I struggle to locate my clit, so trying to get my bf to find it is even harder. I was wondering if any anons have any suggestions for affordable but strong clitoris-specific vibrators? I've never had an orgasm but I also think I'm not very sensitive either because I once bought a cheap mini bullet and it did nothing.

No. 264278

Boobjobs are a fucking porn (hentai) meme and I don't think anyone is for real doing this shit irl more than once. It's extremely awkward even if you have large boobs (if you have small ones don't even bother) because you have to hold them together so tightly (makes your boobs look ugly) and the dick still wants to slip out the entire time. Boobs aren't ribbed or anything either so the sensation for the guy isn't really exciting. It also works only in extremely limited amounts of positions, I suggest with him on his back and you on top of him pushing your boobs down on him. The fact that you have to use lube or oil to do it means you can't even easily switch to a blowjob cause you'll get a mouth full of fucking lube/oil. 0/10, just do it once and he'll see how awkward it is irl.

No. 264294

Maybe instead of a vibrator you could invest in a hand mirror? Look at diagrams to get the general location and then feel around. Or have your bf do it. It's not particularly sexy but if you want 100% confirmation of where it is, that's how you find it.

No. 264305

HOW do you struggle to find your clit??? It's right there! It's not somewhere inside you nona

No. 264353

File: 1652714242874.png (24.85 KB, 240x300, e8d_GFSJnmb2f64b1-6f69-4476-bc…)

it's either very small or very hidden, because I can't really "see" it, but I can feel it like a lump under my skin, but I can't move my fingers or hand fast enough to reach any sort of climax. I definitely know it's there, but she's shy I think. I heard that sometimes you can see it when you're aroused, but I haven't seen it. It feels like a waste to task my bf to do it when I can't even tell him what to do because I don't even know what I like or how to direct him to find the silly thing.

No. 264387

Hi anon! From 1 small clit to another, direct stimulation is not where it's at. My clit doesn't pop out the hood and it looks non-existent. I don't enjoy oral or the clit being rubbed in the typical "porn" way. Trying bunching up a blanket or pillow and grind on it with your stomach facing the bed. Basically I use my labia to cover the clit and that's how I stimulate her. You can also rub your labia over where your clit is and that can feel good as well. Cowgirl where you lean forward and grind on the man's pubic bone may also feel really good. My favorite position is pronebone with something to grind against underneath me. I hope this helps!

No. 264401

One of the reasons you may not be able to see your clit is because you haven't had an orgasm yet. Imo, once you have a few orgasms it will be easier to spot it, so to speak. So, learn to masturbate. This will help you know your own body, it's fun, relieves stress, and it will help the sexual part of your relationship, once you know what you like. Use the advice anon above gave you!
That aside, there may be some medical condition?? I'm not a doctor, so try googling it, see what you get.

No. 264413

look I know this is late but the way I've gotten men into it is to start pressing down on their cock with your feet. Like, under the table footsies kinda deal. Press firmly but only enough for it to feel good. Do that every so often but each time get a little harder.
After a while of doing that you get it hard enough he'll start to like it. Then I'd start to get rougher. Grabbing his crotch when you're horny, getting harder with that over time, maybe playfully and lightly slapping his cock or balls during foreplay. You're essentially just trying to condition him to associate that pain with pleasure. Soon enough he'll be asking for it.

No. 264469

Nonnie I'm sorry I really don't understand how one can't see their clit. Do you have lots and lots of labia??? I've eaten a few and the clit was always just right there, right in my face. Is it weird if I ask you to post your vagina? Or a pic/diagram of a similar vagina?

No. 264472

File: 1652755933765.png (720.79 KB, 1080x2159, Screenshot_20220516-194703.png)

I'm >>264387 and I'm assuming the anon you responded to has a similar deal as I do. Basically, it looks like the labia minora join up at a thin line and there's no bulge for a clitoris. The clitoris does not pop out the hood because it is so small, even when very aroused (I have verified this because my labia fill with blood, etc. but the clit still doesn't pop out because it is too small). The hood on mine is also very small, but the main feature is again that my clit is still proportionately so small it can't be seen.

For me, direct stimulation is painful and all touching needs to be done around the clit. I think this is because all the nerves are packed into such a small point anything bothers it.

I attached a screenshot. Basically, it's just a line is what it looks like where the minora meet.

I hope this helps.

No. 264489

Sometimes when I have sex I need to fart so bad and it doesnt help when they wana switch positions so much. Usually I pretend like theyre going in too deep and push them away when in reality I am holding in my fart for my dear life. Anyways how do you avoid being gassy during sex?

No. 264507

>i have a very small

that search is sending me anon kek

No. 264536

Seconding that they’re fucking you up. Nobody ever warns you just how much it can affect your personal life. I thought I understood when I read the warnings that said ‘can lower libido’ but didn’t until it actually happened to me. Really consider changing yours or stopping them if you can manage that and it doesn’t endanger you. There are an invisible amount of people who find they can’t orgasm anymore or get aroused like they used to long, long after they quit the SSRI (for me it took two years and I still have issues after 5) which you should think about if you’re not okay with being asexual and celibate. I don’t place my worth or esteem on sex and would still say not having the drive anymore feels frustating and just dysfunctional.

No. 264549

nonnies, listen. i've always been pretty comfortable with my sexuality but i've always felt slightly disconnected during sex, maybe a tad repulsed by the guy i'm sleeping with even if he's a long term bf. i never understood why but i realised that i've been connecting healthy intimate and sexual interactions between two consenting adults, with the idea that all men are pornsick coomers. and that's why i feel a slight disdain for the guy after i've slept with him, especially if we did especially "dirty" acts (finishing on my boobs, deep throats etc). i just feel slightly disgusted by him… when my ex tried to titfuck me i felt significantly less attracted to him.

was also raised catholic so maybe there's a bit catholic guilt associated. i've also been sexually assaulted by coomers in the past so maybe it's also trauma related. has anybody else related to this? i just want to be able to have hot sex without getting the ick. just to be clear i don't think guys shouldn't be sexual, i guess i just hate hate hate the idea of these disgusting coomer degenerates who have no idea how to "make love" and treat you like you're a pornstar and i guess i'm afraid all men are that way.

No. 264553

SSRIs are basically asexuality pills. I wish I never took them because sex isn't fun anymore for me because even when I stopped taking them it's hard to get horny and not even good porn or a hot person IRL can arouse me. Please taper off slowly and try a medication with fewer chances of sexual effects, like Bupropion or Buspar (it's technically an anxiety med but a psychiatrist told me that it can raise libido in some people).

No. 264554

Unfortunately a lot of men are pornsick coomers, you aren't wrong about this. That's why it's important to find a guy who puts your pleasure first and makes his pleasure secondary. A guy with those personality traits won't want or even think about titjobs, deepthroating, anal, whatever because he knows you won't get any pleasure out of it. Imo a good way to figure this out is if he lets you bring up anything sexual first, lets you set the pace/lets you guide him during sex until he knows exactly what you want, etc. And when you talk about sex, a good sign is that he's into sensual acts (mentions kissing, caressing, eating you out if you're into that), instead of talking about pounding you or choking you or whatever.
Honestly, I absolutely hate how sex for most men revolves around their dick and how their partner can pleasure it. If I get any indication a man is like this he goes straight to the garbage bin.

No. 264559

Kek, i was really hoping to see actual pictures of what I mean.

Obvious clitted anons are so blessed and they don't even know it. 1) it's hot to have an obvious clit and 2) it seems like it is more easy to pleasure from what I've seen

No. 264562

Thank you for the advice, I get exactly whay you mean and I'll give that a shot, thanks nonna
I considered it possibly being a medical issue, but I can get stimulation from it once I find it, but it's very difficult to get anywhere with it because it either gets too sensitive in a painful way or my hand just gets exhausted. I agree that not having an orgasm probably hinders my relationship with my clit.
I don't have a lot of labia, but definitely more than a labiaplasty result looking amount, the layout is like what >>264472 said, when I pull my labia minora back I don't really see anything that resembles a normal clit. I found an image that's kinda similar, but I have more inner labia than that.

No. 264564

File: 1652805085969.png (Spoiler Image, 64.17 KB, 275x145, image_2022-05-18_023113429.png)

(pic didn't attach and I forgot to spoiler originally)

No. 264641

I have chronically clammy hands so thought I'd never be able to give a good handjob. I was buying a new vibe and picked up some basic lube at the same time. BF asked if he can use some while jerking off and asks me to help him. I go at it hard until he cums and he has to lay there for 5 min because it was so intense and told me it was the best orgasm of his life. Moral of the story is use lube.

No. 264652

Is this a circumcised thing?

No. 264656

Could be, he got cut as a teen bc it was too tight

No. 264657

File: 1652817621284.jpg (419.73 KB, 930x757, Accept.jpg)

This is a really stupid ramble but it's been bugging me all month. My current bf and I have a good sex life. Him and his previous partner only had anal sex (she was "Christian" and couldn't afford birth control) and on one occasion it ended in her "expelling faecel matter" over him. When I found out about this from a friend, I was repulsed and it kind of put me off anal for life. Despite this, I seem to get the impression he wants to have anal sex as he really enjoys sex from behind and is fixated on my ass. At one point while we were in the shower he asked if I wanted him to finger my ass and I had never once expressed any interest in this. I can't say anal appeals to me but I don't know how to get over the feeling of being inferior for not wanting to have anal sex and now whenever we have sex it consumes my mind. I don't know what to do, I'm open to expermentation but I'm scared that if I did agree to do it - I would be doing if for someone else and I'm not sure if it would help me get over the insecurity I feel.

No. 264661

Noni anal is a meme. It can’t physically feel good for you. Your boyfriend shouldn’t be bringing it up after the initial lack of your interests. Would you want to do a sex act to him he wouldn’t like and would make him at worst be in horrible pain or extremely uncomfortable and gross after wards? If he likes your ass so much there’s non anal shit he could to appreciate it.

No. 264671

When I was younger I felt the need to be more adventurous (and kinda was curious too) so I found myself trying anal, both giving and getting. tbh it's not surprising that someone having enough anal will eventually have a mishap. I've heard similar stories from most guys who go for that. It's also not unusual for scrotes to still be enthusiastically into anal even after being shat on in a big way. I don't get it. I kept hearing these stories and while I've never had a mishap myself I felt like I was fucking with scat fetishists based on some of the fun lil stories they shared. I stopped liking it over time and my bf still nagged for it knowing I wasn't into it. Anal fans are charming like that lol

If its not appealing to you then don't go there full stop. Men who get anal just want more and more of it. That is a boundary to protect.

No. 264672

This is how I felt about it when i started to look into it. He told me how you can't eat for a day, you have to empty your bowels and douche etc etc the whole process just sounds horrible. Idk how or why I would want to do that but he still seems fixated on it

No. 264677

People who are into anal and into large insertions (fisting, above average toys) might do the fasting part but most don't. Most of the time you pick a day where your bowel movement was good and you might use an enema bulb beforehand. You're notba porn star planning your life around sex. The fact that he'd even expect a partner to fast for a day for him to get his kicks is an insult on top.

No. 264684

Don't wanna do it? Don't do it. You're clearly resisting the idea of it. Remember you have a perfectly fine vagina where his dick is made to go which is also pleasureable for both of you.

No. 264694

If you don't want to do it and you're not doing it for yourself, don't.

I like anal, but I've told partners that want to do it that I won't do anything to clean myself out beforehand and if it goes to shit thats the risk theyre taking swimming up shit creek. No way am I starving myself for a day or disrupting my intestinal flora so a man can fuck a shithole and not worry about shit happening. No accidents yet though.

No. 264773

Ok so i'm taking generic lexapro for depression and anxiety. I have come to a point where I can barely function. I knew I needed help and had to get medicated to get better or on better footing mental health wise. Like I literally lost 25 pounds because I was too lazy to get out of bed and eat. Anxiety is worse than my depression however.

I see that some people are prescribed wellbutrin to counteract the negative side effects of SSRIs and it can help with libido. I'll ask my psyciatrist about it when I can see him and hope to god it works.

I have masturbated twice since my last posting and each session only resulted in one orgasm. First one was somewhat quick but hard to reach, second session took a while. Lots of arm work thats obviously distracting.

No. 264855

It varies, personally I was given Wellbutrin for the sexual side effects and it was like a sugar pill. And psychiatrists told me that's the only antidepressant with little-to-no sexual issues, so there isn't anything else to try. So I think you should keep your fingers crossed that Wellbutrin and possibly slowly tapering off Lexapro (long term use of SSRIs is bad, the longer you stay the less they work). If not maybe learn coping techniques for living with asexuality in therapy, which is what I tried to do.

No. 264935

My boyfriend asked me if he could film me sucking him off since we're going to be apart for a month. Part of me finds the idea hot but my gut is telling me it's a bad move. It's not that I don't trust him, it just feels weird.

Any nonas been in my shoes?

No. 264937

Don't do it. Men keep those and then put them online once they dump their girlfriends.

No. 264939

Absolutely not, that would mean your face is in it. Maybe if he was your husband, but definitely not for a boyfriend. The chances of that video getting around and eventually being shown to your future employer or your parents are way too high.

No. 264943

Absolutely don't do it

No. 264953

Another vote for hell no.

No. 264970

To really get the message across, absolutely not. There's a big chance it'll be uploaded online w/o your consent.

No. 265061

It's just a month, he's not going to die having to use his imagination or something for that bit.

No. 265064

My boyfriend wants me to squirt but I just can't manage to do it. The only time I have been able to is when I was with a very well endowed guy a couple of times. I can't tell him he's too small to make me squirt, but it's honestly true. The worst part is that he keeps bragging that he is big, because he says he is 6.5".. but honestly, I don't believe he measured correctly. I never measured anyone, but his dick is definitely completely average.

No. 265065

Personally I prefer more average dicks, but it is so weird to me guys make a fuss about their penis size when they are average. My boyfriend loves to joke about having large dick problems, but his is definitely average. My ex definitely had a huge dick and we genuinely did have issues. His dick would literally get stuck in me (we'd had to wait for like 10 minutes for my vaginal muscles to relax so he could soften a tad), I had a lot more pain during sex, etc. I don't fight it, but it seems a little silly. My boyfriend is one of those chronically convinced guys that thinks he is ugly so maybe it is to make up for it. Sad if so. Anyway.

No. 265071

Even if he is 6.5 inches… that's average

No. 265074

be honest with him and say you can only squirt from bigger penises. there is nothing stopping you from saying this unless you feel he may get abusive or violent from it, in that case it's understandable.
any man who brags about how big his dick is never actually has a big dick, they're just hyping themselves up and they need to get put in their place. it's the same as men saying they're good at eating pussy but it just feels like porridge being slurped off a table.

idk i just feel like if you aren't honest with him soon then he's just going to carry on pestering you about this stuff and maybe eventually assume it's a problem on your end even though it isn't.

No. 265124

you must have a loose af pussy kek(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 265133

No. 265135

t. pencil dicked moid

No. 265138

Retarded question but can vibrators desensitize your clit? My ex made me cum twice a year and ive been using vibrators since i was 16. I havent cummed from a person's touch since 2015 and i started fucking this new guy and he gives really good head and touches me really well i just find it really hard to orgasm. I masturbate maybe 4 times a week but im taking a break cuz i really wanna see if i can orgasm from another persons touch.

No. 265156

Some pseudo/pop articles will say yes, but no. Many women can only orgasm with toys or vibrators, it all depends on how sensitive your clit is. I personally rarely, if ever orgasm from someone giving me head because I like a lot of pressure, and that's not bad nor is it abnormal (I don't watch porn either). Why not just include toys in the sex you're having with this guy atm?

No. 265166

Squirting isn't real, holy shit are you all pornsick or something? "Squirting" is what happens when you have a full bladder and a dick is hammering on it from the inside and some pee squirts out cause you can't hold it in. It doesn't come out of your vagina. It's pee. That's why they tell you, you have to "relax" to make squirting happen, cause otherwise you won't piss yourself. If you want to "squirt" for your coombrained pornsick boyfriend just let loose and piss all over him.

No. 265177

No one said it isn't piss kek but it still feels good for some women. Stop crying about it

No. 265179

Then just piss yourself during sex, what is stopping you?

No. 265210

Yes but it is temporary. If you use hard pressure and strong vibes its gonna be harder to orgasm from lighter stimulation, but just go a few days without masturbating and the sensitivity increases.

No. 265916

I don't understand the "you can't physically orgasm from anal" argument, you can't physically orgasm from stuff like blowjobs, kissing, rubbing, spanking etc. but people do these things because a lot about sex is psychological.

No. 265919

Nonnas i have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and I never felt any pleasure at all from penetration alone, I have a small vibrator but when I insert anything, it feels like there is nothing inside there. I can cum from clitoral stimulation but penetration just gives absolutely nothing.
I love him very much and he is very considerate and tries his best, I would say I feel aroused enough until we try to put anything inside.
I don't know if I have like a physical reason for this to happen, but we grew up catholic and in the beginning of our relationship, I had lots of concerning thougts about sex, that's why when we started having it, we just masturbate each other. Maybe we did this too much and now I can't feel pleasure like a normal person.
Is it 100% a religious thing or should I go to a doctor or anything?

No. 265925


I agree. Call me a pickme if you want, but I actually like anal. I can't orgasm from PIV either without clit stimulation and it's the same for anal. It's not like you don't have nerves down there. It's pleasant, and when I'm rubbing my clit I definitely cum. Probably even harder than PIV. Here come the accusations that I'm a scrote.

No. 265926


I also feel nothing from penetration. I mean, I feel it happening but it's just a neutral feeling, like inserting a tampon. Just embrace it and stimulate your clit during sex. It's fairly common from what I understand.

No. 265927

I agree, I probably wouldn't do full blown anal but I don't think it's weird for women to like it, as long as no one pressures you into it.

No. 265937

nta, but I don't experience pleasure stimulating my clit. I've never truly masturbated. I tried it three times, but each time, it was like scratching out a booger. If my boyfriend does it enough, I'll physically loosen up and get wetter, but there's literally no feeling. If he does it too aggressively or for too long, it's like the same nauseating jitters from too much caffeine, plus slight pain. I've never orgasmed. My body climaxes, my thighs shake and muscles begin to give out, but there's no feeling and mentally it's neutral and begins to feel like a chore, so there's no finish line.

No. 265942

>i've never orgasmed

goddesses are weeping

No. 265944

I have been insterting things in my butthole since I was a child. Nobody forced me into enjoying it. The first time I did it with a man and with most men I've done it, I was the one to suggest it. I can give myself a clit orgasm very easily when doing anal. Some women can truly enjoy anal sex without the influence of men or porn, get over it.

No. 265953

A warning to other anons to practice anal at their own risk; some have lost rectal functioning with just one sexual encounter and have ended up in diapers or disabled. It may be pleasurable, but is it worth it?

No. 265954

Jesus… have you tried vibrators?

No. 265958

Yes, they're awful, the over-sensation of my bf rubbing my clit but multiplied by 10.

No. 265960

Have you tried over clothes/underwear? I have an annoyingly sensitive clit but things can feel pretty good with some layers.

No. 265965

Have you tried lightly squeezing the area around your clit, like the attachment that forms into your labia minora? Or even just squeezing your legs? Direct clit stimulation is tricky but it's a pretty large organ so it can be stimulated in other ways too. Not sure if that'd do anything

No. 265968

I have tried everything mentioned. It doesn't. At least as a positive it doesn't hurt.

No. 265975

File: 1653386175636.jpg (38.4 KB, 460x500, 150.jpg)

i'm tired of having no libido. i'm gonna try doing pelvic floor exercises and take supplements.
the only time i actually managed to have sex i was drunk out of my mind so maybe it really is related to my general anxiety. i'm not anxious enough to be medicated but i think i've just grown up to be tense and overthinking at all times. early life trauma also made me very apathetic towards myself and the world around me. i want to change nonnas…

No. 265986

I don't like the idea of anal either, but this sounds like such a massive overstatement. People are not THIS fragile.

No. 266129

nta but a lot of pornstars have had those things happen to them after anal

No. 266143

They were probably being raped by a monster cock and not relaxed. I would never do it with someone I didn't trust 100%. The porn industry is horrible.

No. 266637

Just as a note, if you think anxiety contributes to having no libido, then I'd stay away from most medications since they tend to make it worse and the issues can continue even after stopping the medication. Therapy (I found CBT and other things like that more helpful than altering brain chemicals since my anxiety stemmed from irrational thoughts), exercise, better diet and supplements, and experimenting with toys can help. Good luck. I have no libido either and have been doing these things and I really hope I develop something.

No. 267165

Is it normal to not be as talkative in bed as you were with a previous partner? I dated someone younger recently and despite me having a lot of experience I was really embarrassed to talk about sex with him at times. I would get really flustered. I felt like no sexual embarassment with my previous partner and would always be the one making him flustered.
Something relevant is that my most recent ex did not like any sort of femdom stuff, even like begging or edging. My ex before him was kind of pornsick and indulged my dominance in bed whereas I felt like I never really got the chance to do what I wanted since my favorite things in the bedroom were off limits.

No. 267241

I have no libido, which irritates me because I used to be a horny person. My ex could just rub his dick against my clit and I would orgasm.
But years down the line, 2 years in a new relationship and on BC I'm dead down there. It's like I'm a shadow of my former self.
It's frustrating my partner because it seems he doesn't want to understand the situation. There's a cycle every month where he argues that I never initiate, I never do anything.

Is there any help for me nonnas?

No. 267242

Talk to your gyno about potentially changing your BC

No. 267252

And dump your worthless moid who seems to have short term memory loss and zero compassion for you. How is it that you explain things to him every month but he still picks fights with you again anc again? I know "dump him" may sound extreme at this stage but his refusal to listen, compromise, and care for you while you're in ill health indicates a larger problem. Get rid of him early and save yourself the trouble.

No. 267259

You mentioned bc so ask about switching your type. If you're on any other meds (ssris) that can cause it too. Once you've looked into those causes I feel like you still need to sit the bf down and talk to him about how applying pressure is a libido killer for us.

The cycle you're describing can sometimes do more damage than the underlying medical cause did. By now you'll associate sex with negative emotions, arguments, demand being placed upon you and pressure to do things you don't want.. it's hard to return to true intimacy after that. Depending on how bad he got with the arguing you need to at minumum have a serious discussion and say how it has felt to be on your end of this. There's a difference between discussing mismatched libido, asking for sex and then full on arguing over it. You used the word arguing which isn't a good sign. There's a line there and men crossing over that line should go fuck their own hand for eternity instead.

No. 267313

Idk nonas I think sex is ruined for me forever, the "corrective" rape from my ex bf (and by corrective I mean I would have a behavior he didn't like and he tried to "correct" it through rape), forcing amphetamines on me and the 12 hour bjs that would follow for multiple days in a row during which he would activate my childhood sexual trauma, re-enact it and basically have me dissociating and every other thing during that relationship has completely killed my drive. I've tried therapy. I've tried lots of fucking things to make this go away. But the years and years of it happening seems to have caused irreversible damage. I know this isn't asking for advice but I didn't want to put this 8n the vent thread. I am completely asexual now. Pick your moids wisely ladies, he didn't start out like this in the beginning…

No. 267316

anon this is one of the most horrendous things I have read here. I really can’t word how sorry I am you went through all of that. I don't know what to say. I am so sorry.

No. 267321

I know this isn't helpful and doesn't mean much, but I'm incredibly sorry you went through that. I hope you can find some kind of healing one day.

No. 267323

I'm having trouble forgiving myself it feels like my fault because I stayed for 8 years on and off but for some reason I loved him despite it all. When I would dissociate during sexual acts I would apparently act the age during which my abuse happened (under 13 btw) and he would ask me my age get off on that while also pretending to be my abuser. All before this even from his other exes he was a normie and very vanilla sexually, now I'm scared because he was getting off to imagine abusing a younger me that he is going to go on and abuse a young girl and it's all my fucking fault. It was like Stockholm syndrome I wish I could delete it all

No. 267384

I don't know what it is but for some reason whenever I have sex with my husband I feel like there is some mental barrier that's preventing me from enjoying sex like I want to. I've never orgasmed through sex or oral (only by masturbating alone) but when I've come close to it during sex it just stops right as it's about to happen and I don't know why. My husband is willing to learn and do whatever to please me but these constant ruined orgasms and negative experiences has really just made me feel like something is wrong with me. I start feeling like shit and then crying a lot in the middle of sex because it's so frustrating (tearing up even typing this) I so desperately want to enjoy sex to the fullest but I'm getting to the point where I think that maybe it's just better if he's the only one who feels good because I can take pleasure in that at least.

No. 267385

I'm so sorry that happened to you anon, he deserves to die

No. 267386

Do you have trauma in your history? Do you dissociate/have trouble with staying present in the moment? Have self esteem issues, hate yourself, feel you don't deserve nice things? Does receiving pleasure feel too vulnerable for you? Are there fissures and doubts in your relationship? Has your bf complained about/argued with you about you not being able to orgasm? A lot of questions here but these are just some things to think about that might be contributing to your problem.

No. 267396

i also have trouble orgasming with my girlfriend. i can only orgasm when masturbating and the only time i’ve been able to properly orgasm with my girlfriend is when i grind against either her back or her hip bone (i think this stems from the fact that my preferred masturbation method my whole life was grinding against the corner of a table or something). i don’t mind orgasming this way and my girlfriend does the same thing on occasion but i feel shitty .. kind of like i’m just using her body to masturbate instead of having sex? does anyone have any thoughts on this

No. 267397

nona im struggling to not a-log here but did you try to report him? ik it's futile oftentimes but this POS really needs to be charged and have it follow him for the rest of his life

No. 267708

I did, yes. After I called the police for him physically assaulting me. Nothing has been done.

No. 268209

File: 1654420098255.jpg (17.03 KB, 400x400, faec328aed1938c7df313343ee44b8…)

so the discussion of having sex has come up between my boyfriend and i (late 20s both, also virgins), and the topic of PiV sex is the only hurdle we've yet to fully plan on. my main concern before doing PiV is getting comfortable with the idea of penetration, hence me wanting to buy a dildo (and bullet because why not) for my use before then, but his concern is that he might not match up to it for that first time we do it together. should i proceed with the buy plan so that i can accustom myself to it all first? or would it be wiser to go human-dick-first into the pool? (before anyone asks, i am on BC)

No. 268220

Your boyfriends concern is stupid, you should do whatever you feel more comfortable with. The first time will be uncomfortable and hurt and not be pleasant at all, so his fear of being unfavorably compared to a dildo don't make sense. It really depends on if you want to share this moment with your boyfriend (something that may be important to him) or if you want to relax and do it on your own.

No. 268221

samefag to add that I personally do not like dildos at all and human dick is much better, since they are made of flesh, are warm and less hard and resistant than a dildo, which will be a much firmer and harder material and possibly hurt more.

No. 268225

Seconding this. Get a bullet, but maybe wait on the dildo until after you try sex

No. 268238

>The first time will be uncomfortable and hurt and not be pleasant at all
You had a shitty first time lover then

No. 268305

right, that makes sense. thing is i have tried penetration prior to this with a little bit of craft and want to experiement a bit more properly before hand to see if i can get to where i enjoy it (otherwise, it's a mental state of "there's a thing in my vagina" and there's no thrill of it). i was considering this one https://a.co/d/d3VNmbi from plusOne just to start off with as well, but i'm not sure if that would be any better than an actual dildo. (or i'm dumb and that's not a dildo at all) will get the bullet from that brand though, since it's affordable rn

that's a fair judgment to make when having sex for the first time though, is it not? i've told my bf that it's very likely even with all the care and comfort we give each other during it, someone could be in some level of pain or discomfort afterwards. we'll talk more on it later if that's the case, but the point being that not everyone is gonna have a great first time.

No. 269110

File: 1654743689333.jpg (Spoiler Image, 36.76 KB, 432x322, 2001_19.jpg)

How do I get rid of a fat fetish? I have trouble masturbating to anything and it's gotten worse over the years. I can abstain from fat porn for months but I can't seem to cum to anything else.

I can get close with (normal) RP and thinking about rough sex but nothing else gets me over the finish line. I can't bear to get a boyfriend without becoming somewhat normal first.

(picrel, because the actual stuff is too gross)

No. 269119

What is appealing about fat people? Like are you fixated on how gross they are or what?

No. 269122

It's more like I'm the one who gets fattened, non-consensually (sometimes rapidly)

I think it's a humiliation thing. I know it's disgusting, but that's part of the appeal for me.

No. 269123

Why do you want to be humiliated, and why is that better than having someone treat you with respect and compassion during intimacy? Consider that more, and try to realize that being a disgusting, gluttonous person is not romantic, attractive, or viable long term. Being fat is unhealthy, there are consequences to that outside of a fetish which only makes you temporarily aroused. Stop fixating on degrading yourself, and develop some self worth.

No. 269124

Perhaps you have a point. I've always felt disgust towards my body ever since puberty and I have trouble losing weight (stuck on BMI of 23).

Maybe I don't feel like I deserve it.

No. 269134

can you "transfer" to a different humiliation fantasy/fetish that would be less extreme? or maybe you need to consider that simply dating and having actual sexual contact or flirting will help you snap out of your dependency. You will have to stop masturbating for a while and it might take time to cum with another person withoutit, but if the focus is on dating then just start. Don't feel the need to bring it up if it's not something you want in your sex life.

No. 269737

Is that even possible? Re-wiring your brain like that?

No. 269746

I know its about humiliation but I never understood how anyone can be okay with a man ruining their social reputation and body via feederism while he stays skinny or normal looking

No. 269753

afaik it is possible, but you'd also have to reduce if not stop masturbation for a while, then gradually reinitroduce it with different fantasies. orgasms are a very powerful conditioning tool.

No. 269869

Yeah my first experience wasn't bad sex wise (even though it wasn't consensual) but I feel like its because I broke my hymen before I had sex the first time.

I agree, using a dildo doesn't excite me and I hardly ever use it. I don't even masturbate because I enjoy having sex with someone way better.

No. 269871

As someone who comes from a religious family, the sex toys dont stimulate down there and also haven't orgasm (or at least dont know how to orgasm) I'll recommend maybe clenching down there when you have sex. When I did it with the guy I'm dating I felt his dick a bit more.

No. 270357

It might not 100% fit but I used to have a problematic fetish that stemmed from low self-esteem and abuse for almost a decade, and while I didn't have a physical reliance on it to a degree (I couldn't orgasm to it because I was on meds), it was still my favorite fantasy and something that I liked reading stories about constantly and I found things that didn't involve "it" very boring (sorry for being vague, but it's embarrassing to me).

The fact you understand the appeal for you is actually a good start. Do you find actual fatness outside that context attractive? I personally didn't find my fetish to be interesting in real life (it was immoral to me, actually), and that kind of helped me crack the code and stop being reliant on it. The fetish/fantasy was personally a metaphor for me, it represented my trauma and trying to find a context where I would've found said trauma to be comfortable. And I realized those "themes" were not exclusive to that fetish, so I kind of "branched out" to similar fantasies or milder fetishes with the same thing that were less abusive and reminiscent of things that happened to me.

I also had bad self-esteem due to weight, so I talked to my doctor about it and had him help me lose some weight. I was given a medication that can suppress appetite had him watch my eating, then started exercising. I struggled with being chubby my whole life and I likely will be in some way since my parents are too, but dropping some weight and seeing I look different raised my self-esteem slightly and the exercise kind of "stimulated" my mind a bit to be more creative and was able to have fantasies about myself that weren't degrading. I still have slightly kinkyish fantasies that are degrading, but it's usually on the side to spice things up and not exclusive anymore.

No. 270384

My husband has a big dick. No, I'm not bragging, it hurts and I lose the drive, and I end up not coming. I also end up having cramps afterward and it sucks.
I've actually bleed because of it before, and we have tried lube, specific condoms, certain positions, and nothing works. So far only riding cowgirl seems to work, but I'm tired. It feels like I'm doing all the work, and is boring. What do I do nonnas?

No. 270388

When a guys size isn't ideal I tend to find myself partaking in other kinds of sex and piv slides down the list of importance. Only ever had the opposite problem tbh but toys and oral and just not making piv the 'main event' anymore is my usual cope.

Usually works out alright as long as the guy isn't threatened by toys or dead set on finishing one way.

No. 270394

is it normal that I can't orgasm unless I'm doing kegels/clenching down intensely? I think I gained the habit from being on antidepressants my entire adolescence

No. 270396

Yesterday I had the opportunity to go full femdom on someone and it was so bad lmao… he was pratically begging to be dommed but I couldn't do it. At the end he said "wow anon, you're 100% non-violent lol".
I consider myself a pretty dominant person on the other areas of my life since I work in an area full of men (IT) and have to impose myself or else they're gonna walk all over me, but I can't translate that into sex. It feels unnatural and exhausting.
I should go back to being volcel tbh. Sex does nothing for me, I can't cum anyway

No. 270398

I do the same. I have (had) to clench pelvic and whole leg muscles to orgasm. If it works for you, that's fine. If you want to change it, what worked for me was masturbating with clenching, stiffing etc and then, right before climax, relaxing the muscles, so the orgasm delivers on relaxed body. Our bodies learn and you can change habits. You can experiment when to clench, when to relax, clench less and relax more, etc. It will get better if you keep on "exercising"

No. 270405

Well, it shouldn't be a performance. You probably felt like you had to perform for him, hence it felt unnatural and exhausting. Femdom should be him prioritizing your pleasure and orgasms, serving you, making your life easier. He was probably expecting you to do the whole typical dominatrix scene you see in porn, and there's a reason people get paid for that shit, it's work and not what actual dommes want to do. Despite what idiots online say, submission isn't passive, and dominance doesn't inherently mean active. You can make him do all the work and lie back and reap the rewards, as if you're royalty.
>At the end he said "wow anon, you're 100% non-violent lol".
Sounds like the typical lazy bottom who probably just lies there, does nothing, and passes it off as if it was a service to you. Don't worry nonnie, I will kill him for you.

No. 270407

Aw nona thank you for your sweet and attentive reply, that makes sense…! But maybe femdom isn't for me right now. I can't just lie back and relax, time to go back to therapy to work on my sex issues I guess

No. 270690

I love my fiancé to death, but he absolutely does not understand I need foreplay. He thinks "cuddles" with no caressing and going straight to penetration without touching me is going to make me cum. I ask him to touch me, but it's always half-hearted and only touching my boob for a split second. He honestly wonders why it takes a few tries to get it in. I understand he's tired from work, but I hate when I'm in the mood he'll state he's too tired, but when I'm obviously tired and not into it, he gets upset I'm not touching myself. I'm starting to get a sour mood. Best one is, "I'm doing all of the work" you are only doing what is necessary for you to get off. I know I moan, but I actually have to do that to relax so that the experience is neutral and doesn't hurt. He thinks my discharge is lube. He probably thinks I'm really into it. I try to mentally psych myself, but I'm getting so tired of it. Trying to fantasize when I have a non-existent libido and don't find anyone attractive is a chore. Last time I had butterflies I was a tween. I just want a family and an emotionally available partner, and unfortunately this is the trade-off. I don't know how to communicate what I need to him where I don't have to explain everything step-by-step like he's 5. It just makes me angry and repulsed.

No. 270701

We tried oral but honestly it doesn't do it for me, and I have a strong gag reflex, so I can't take him. Plus, he gets to cum earlier than me, and idk if I like that.
Anal isn't an option either, cause none of us like it. Fingering ends up similarly to PiV. Is nice at the beginning, but then I start getting uncomfortable if he gets too deep.
I'm big into BDSM but not only he's a huge vanilla, I also get the feeling he would suck at being a dom. This last point has actually left me frustrated for a while. Last time I was tied was about 5 years, and he would always panic about it.
I have a BadDragon and a vibrator. But the vibrator ends up numbing me instead of stimulating me, and I ended up buying the BadDragon hoping it would make it easier to take his dick. It didn't. And we we used it together, I had to explain to him I don't insert the whole dildo as it is painful, and doesn't feel good. Was hoping he would take a hint from that, and he didn't.
Guess I can try convincing him to do BDSM again. Don't want to live doomed to riding cowgirl all my life.

No. 270703

Jesus christ just break up. You're not a match.

No. 270717

>when I have a non-existent libido and don't find anyone attractive is a chore.
hold up what

No. 270734

your fiance is using you more like a fleshlight than a actual sex partner.

No. 270738

Women should follow this simple rule: if he does not pleasure you and smell nice for you, no sex. Sex is supposed to be a two-way street. Left unchecked, most men just use their partners like a masturbatory aid instead of a living breathing partner who also has sexual needs.
Imo you need to tell him exactly what feels good, what hurts, what "too deep" is, and if he doesn't abide by that, sex ends immediately. He will either do what needs to be done or you will see he doesn't actually give a shit and you should then end the relationship. Don't be desperate and keep someone around who doesn't give a shit about your pleasure.

No. 270739

File: 1655498018812.jpg (36.18 KB, 798x644, EfXCE01UYAA8csO.jpg)

>"he's a huge vanilla"
>Bad Dragon
you don't deserve orgasms anyway

No. 270740

You don't need to do anything penetrative if you don't like it. Focus on what gets you off first. If he can't settle for that then too bad for him

No. 270768

I think you need to stop making yourself go through this…whatever the fuck this is. Sounds like self harm.

No. 270795

fucked a guy i met a club in japan and he was surprisingly good but after all that i felt immediate regret. blocked him on on socials. don't want to say i'll never do that again but im really embarrassed now about the whole thing. i think hookup culture is not for me. said that i was the first foreigner he fucked. aftercare was nice but i look back and want to crawl out of my own skin. im even embarrassed to talk about it here.

No. 270796

samefag but i need to learn self control when it comes to vodka cranberries

No. 271798

anon i have a similar fetish (arguably worse, i wont get into detail) and am managing to reroute it as this >>269134 anon has suggested. ive been working on changing it for about a year but the imagery associated with my former fetish doesnt "trigger" me anymore, whereas imagery surrounding the new fetish (good christian orgasm control and male bondage) has started to. ill still slip up and masturbate to old material every once in a while but im also trying to get off porn entirely so those are few and far between and when i do revert to porn i either automatically or force myself to watch material of the new fetish.
i realise this makes me sound like an actual retard but its so relieving not to be turned on by the insane disgusting shit i used to be. you can actually rewire this shit anon.

No. 271800

solve this or call off the wedding jesus. though i did kek at him thinking your discharge is lube, i have laughed in a guys face for trying to dirty talk me like "mmm youre already wet for me" naw u retard thats cervical mucus

No. 271907

Nonnies, I’ve been on the pill for nearly the full month now. My boyfriend and I went raw last night, we weren’t planning on it, but the condom broke. While I didn’t think about it much then, I’m having second thoughts.I’m desperately trying not to go get a plan b (I just lost my job and really can’t afford these kinds of purchases right now),I also took one a week or two ago as well, due to another incident we had, and terribly scared of putting too much strain onto my body

Am I just too anxious and paranoid, nonnies? What would be safest?

No. 271908

IDK anon, I would really try to get the money on plan B even if it's hard, if you can barely afford it, then you sure as hell can't afford abortion later if it comes to worst. Sure there's a solid chance nothing will happen, but do you really want to risk it?

No. 271909

You don't say what pill you're on or what day of your cycle you started it on so it's hard to know the risk without those details. Your doc would know.

Is your bf helping with the cost of things like BC and did he help out with the plan b from last week? With your job loss that's alot on your shoulders and ime a good test of whether a guy is worth taking on all this risk and hassle for is whether he tries to pay for or come along to appointments when it comes to birth control and plan b. Get him to step up and help if he's not already.

No. 271914

>I also took one a week or two ago as well, due to another incident we had
Nonny, I obviously don't know what prompted you to take it about a week or two ago, but please make sure you and your bf don't continue to put you/each other in this situation, especially when you can't afford it but seem to be on BC already. It's a lot for your body to deal with too. Try splitting the bill for plan B and BC with your boyfriend, since he also has a part in this. I hope everything works out for you.

No. 271915

>im really embarrassed now about the whole thing. i think hookup culture is not for me.
I feel you anon, did something similar, was fun and nice at the time; I know there's plenty of people to pay such thing no mind, but even though I did not expect it from myself at all I can't shake off the regret either. IDK how others do it and idk how come neither of us could foresee these feelings to pop up after.

No. 271921

Anecdotal evidence, stop fearmongering, it's not the case for majority of the women.

No. 271925

How do you overcome weird hangups about sex?
I've been a virgin for too long (almost 25) and now the idea of being intimate makes me deeply uncomfortable. I'm not asexual since I'm actively turned on by people and was once a pornsick coomer. It would be better if no libido was the case, but instead I'm just fucked up.

The main problem I've identified is that I dislike being desired, since I'm more comfortable with the idea of pleasuring someone else and being untouched myself. Doubly so if I imagine not being myself, if that makes sense. Even as a youth I'd imagine myself as a man fucking women and men, not as me. Maybe growing up ugly stripped me of the ability to connect with feeling sexual or whatever.

Secondarily, I've internalized some weird purity shit and am kind of comfortable being a miserable loser virgin. That's not the main problem though.

Any loser anons felt similarly and overcome it? It's not an immediate concern since I (unsurprisingly) also have problems connecting with others and maintaining relationships. It's just all a pain in the ass.
I don't want to let being a creepy uggo in my youth sentence me to a life of solitude. And I want to get laid.

No. 271930

>I just lost my job and really can’t afford these kinds of purchases right now
Hello you've got boyfriend? You're not responsible on your own for this!

Anyway ask your doc, this is shit you don't wanna bet online strangers' opinions are right.

No. 271931

I think we're not talking about the same thing anons, I meant ulipristal acetate or levonorgestrel pills, the one you take up to 72h after (Ellaone is the one I used myself). Side effect list is shorter and less severe than anything you'd find in over the counter painkillers. I cant get these without doctor's recipe in my country either but it's because my country is a retarded catholic playground that likes to restrict women's rights, not because it's more dangerous than other easily accessible medicines. Sorry for any misunderstandings here.

No. 271940

If you've been on the pill for a month, shouldn't it be…okay? Afaik it starts working after 7 days

No. 271956

roe is overturned. If you’re not already on a sex strike by now, do it. You’re a femcuck if you don’t.

No. 271971

THIS. sex strike for burger women NOW.

No. 271999

A couple of things:
- If you've been taking the pill for a month and you aren't on your sugar pills, you've taken your bc pills every day, you'll be fine. You won't get pregnant.
- The pill is not nearly as reliable as something like the rod or the IUD, which both last years and (in my country at least) works out cheaper than refilling your pill prescription every time it runs out. You'd have a lot more peace of mind if you had a more affective method of BC

No. 272000

Honestly this is something only a psych would be able to help you work through. If that's not affordable for you, I'd consider getting more in touch with your body (i.e. touching yourself without any visual stimulation, try imagining yourself pleasuring others instead of you as a man)
I'll also say that it's more than ok to not like receiving. With women I exclusively give, mostly for the reason that I need A LOT of stimulation that most people's hands/mouths can't do. So, I've always preferred and derived pleasure from watching other people get off from my doing.

You mentioned purity culture as well, which is something so ingrained that it really can't be undone without lots of reading and professional help. That stuff is instilled in you so young that unpacking it is weighty.

No. 272013

File: 1656155830200.jpg (13.46 KB, 300x272, R-5807702-1403225080-6206.jpg)

So I'm seeing this guy and things are getting more and more heated with every meeting and I have some questions:
- Should I tell him I'm unexperienced in sex?
- When should I tell him I have vaginismus or should I mention it at all? I never had penetrative sex and could never insert a dildo in myself or have a proper gynecological examination. What I'm hoping is that these were just because I wasn't relaxed enough and maybe with him it's going to be different

We had 3 dates so far (we have once a week because we're both busy)and made out heavily on our last one and it scared me a bit as I have never been touched this much in my life kek (he was like reaching into my pants and was fondling my breasts). Is this too fast I wonder? When do people have sex after seeing each other in general?

No. 272024

Based. Best course of action. Also try to limit all interaction with men where possible while still being able to own a house and eat. Choose women owned or at least women majority businesses to patron, give male businesses as little as money as possible (preferably none unless it is the only viable option for you), delete all dating apps/accounts, etc.

No. 272025

To add, if men don't see women as people and as a service instead, don't serve men in any way. You owe them nothing.

No. 272125

You should tell him these things now nona before it goes any further. A good guy will understand and take it slow but if you don't tell him and he is a good guy and he hurts you because he didn't know he will feel bad and that is not how you want to start a sexual relationship.

Make sure you are very wet and relaxed and tell him to start with oral if you are comfortable or just 1 finger and work your way up.
Please do not be afraid to ask him to stop you can always try again another time but hurting yourself will just add trauma and anxiety around sex.

>When do people have sex after seeing each other in general?

Honestly this can wildly vary and there is no right answer. I have fucked on the first date and also waited a few dates and honestly fucking earlier usually lead to a longer relationship.
It's whenever you both feel comfortable. If him touching you like that on the last date was moving too fast, tell him that. If you liked it but still don't want to go further than that yet, tell him that.
Don't let anyone tell you that you are moving too fast or too slow not even him. It has to feel right to you.

Communicate and if he isn't communicating find another who will.

No. 272171

I have it as well nonnie and sex is still much easier than gyno exams for that exact reason. I usually talk about it at the point you’re at now, keeping it simple and no one has ever had a problem with it. Talking about it and knowing they understand helps a lot, because it takes away the worry that they’ll react badly in the moment and you’ll know you’re both on the same page. Take it slow, get some lube, and don’t put too much pressure on yourself to get there right away

No. 272450

I told him and he was so understanding about it!! He also shared with me that he used to have erectile dysfunction so he understands how I feel

No. 278543

can someone tell me what to actually do or how to move during sex because i just got my first bf and have no idea wtf im doing and tbf hes no expert either

when we fuck its like two oldies scared of breaking a hip. i know theres something i can do like maybe moving around a certain way or bending a certain way for some positions i just dont know what and i cant exactly coach my bf to do anything differently either since its my first time being physically intimate

No. 278575

Focus on what feels good.
I like missionary, my partner normally lifts my hips and I curve and tuck my butt in (like I’m working out) it lets him stimulate my clit when he slides all the way in and he can rub where it feels good inside. This only works with foreplay though because I have to be fully aroused to feel good with penetration.
When having sex it’s a little different from masturbating. When you’re alone you tend to be in one position and it can train your muscles to orgasm like that and can make it hard in other positions.
Take it slow and communicate while you find what you like. Having a partner that listens and wants to make you feel good is important more than anything else. The wrong person and the sex will always be bad

No. 278581

How old is he? If he’s not in his fifties already (you’re not dating geriatric scrotes, are you?) having erectile dysfunction is an extreme red flag. It’s the biggest give away of coomerism, it’s not normal AT ALL for young men to have it. It was proved in the 90s that corn addiction’s effect on the brain is irreversible, that’s why it’s illegal to conduct scientific research on it now. I don’t want to worry you, but I recommend treading carefully.

No. 278610

mid 30s and he said it's a psychological thing (the pressure of performing makes him wither)

No. 278611

I’d be careful anon. Most men that say that are actually just porn addicts

No. 278617

Ewwww, anon no. I really don’t believe he’s so psychologically tortured by the concept of satisfying you that his entire reproductive system shortcircuits.

No. 278630

File: 1659119360400.jpeg (102.9 KB, 907x1360, D4ABBC7D-88E6-4EBA-8264-1CCA55…)

Has anyone read this? I have some anxiety and poor body image issues which makes sex not so fun or pleasurable. I’m always in my head worried about how I look, which makes initiating and cumming difficult. I’ve seen several people say this book saved their sex life but I thought I’d ask here since you’re all brutally honest for the most part…

No. 278635

Okay so I'm married and lost my virginity to my husband
But even before we married I was never sexually attracted to him. I have been sexually attracted to my ex boyfriends before I met him but those relationships never went anywhere
When we married and we lost our virginities to each other it of course hurt a lot and I was super nervous instead of turned on but thats to be expected
Everytime we have sex though now it hurts like crazy because I'm never turned on by him and even foreplay feels like a chore
Its like I have a mental block against finding anything he does hot and instead I'm completely zoned out and just want to get it over with
Its reached a point where I get no satisfaction at all and just give him a bj or a titjob so he can cum
I am going to a gynecologist soon to ask to go back on birth control so we can try having regular sex again
I just want it to feel good for me and actually orgasm for once. I can only cum from masturbating with a shower hose and imagining being with an ex of mine instead

No. 278638

Anon, that is NOT to be expected. He just doesn’t care about your comfort. The situation he’s putting you in sounds awful. If I were in your place I would dump him. You shouldn’t have to tolerate his bullshit.

No. 278641

Why did you marry a man you're not sexually attracted to? No amount of therapy or marriage counseling will fix that.

No. 278645

anon please stop hurting yourself emotionally and physically for a marriage with a man you have no attraction towards

No. 278647

For fuck sake stop marrying ugly men you're not attracted to!

No. 278648

I mean, she's literally fantasizing about her ex while having sex with him. No partner no matter how receptive can fix that. Your mental state affects whether you can be properly aroused. If she never finds him attractive, it is a problem that she married him - that's a choice she shouldn't have made considering it's not a way to escape a worse situation.

No. 278658

I've been single for a couple years and the main thing I miss sexually is waking my ex up in the middle of the night to play with him/blow him because we worked different hours and he'd be in bed before me. That became our routine towards the end. I don't miss piv much. I don't miss receiving oral all that much. I miss that more than anything. Those are the memories I still get hot over. He had alot of faults as a person but I told him early on to never nag me for oral. He stuck to that and I ended up being the one getting really into it after a while. Before him every other ex had been naggy and it ruined the act. It made me dread being asked. Pressure ruins sex for me. It seems like such a small thing but I felt safe and like I could enjoy myself for the first time. Him being sleepy, him not asking for it, him just waking up and being grafeful that I'm there and I'm offering. Its like this comfort zone was unlocked. And then I lost him.

I'm worried that I want to dip my toes back into dating but I've spent these couple years reliving that as my fantasy at night. I catch myself thinking that I need to find a guy to reenact that with. I don't like how much my ex is all wrapped up in my fantasy life to this day. I get that there was probably mild sexual trauma that was helped by the time I had with him feeling safe but..At this stage do I force myself to seperate my fantasies away from him? It never really occured to me how long its been and I'm still replaying those scenes. I'm a lil weirded out that I couldn't care for other forms of sex right now. Maybe that'll come back in time if I meet someone but it feels wrong to even start dating knowing this shit fills my mind. At first the heartbreak stopped me from going there as much but now theres no barrier. Do I just need to have a fresh sexual experience to move forward? Do I wait?

No. 278665

My husband is still suffering from the abuse of his ex wife, and I'm trying so hard to build his confidence.

Like many men he is vain to a certain point, and some days he is quite puffed up and filled with bravado. That doesn't bother me at all, he does it in a very endearing way. However, when I compliment him genuinely he shrugs it off or makes a flippant comment like "Oh that's just the brainwashing taking effect" or respond "Compared to who??" He isn't mean spirited about these comments, he is just so self-deprecating it breaks my heart. In HS he hardly received female attention, if someone was interested he didn't realize it at the time.

Getting to his ex… she was absolutely horrid to him. Abusive and manipulative. Would say things like "If you could just back into your highschool shape, I'd be more attracted to you… you're just a little too heavy for me still." The man was well under 200 pounds, working out regularly and starving due to putting her through law school. When he wrestled he was seven percent body fat, which meant he had to get into a fight every day for hours to maintain that physique. He did finally open up to me about all the horrible fights and her tearing him down every chance she got.

During those moments, and spontaneously, I will hold him and whisper how much I love him. How special he is to me and how attractive I find him. No matter my approach it seems like he doesn't believe my honest words. What else can I do to help the love of my life see himself how I see him? I don't wait for those hard memories to express how I see him. I do so nearly every day when I'm inspired to do so.

No. 278667

What >>278575 said. 100%.

Don't focus on making it perfect, or what you've read about or seen in the media. Do what feels good for you both. That's what will lead to great sex. Don't be afraid to communicate or talk while having sex. Sometimes goofy things will happen while in the throes. Laugh it off, have fun and enjoy one another. That's what makes sex wonderful. Also, practice makes perfect.

No. 278673

If he's this much of a mess over words from a previous wife then he either remarried real quick or he's milking these stories about the mean things his ex said.

I'm trying to be understanding but I've divorced someone after abuse myself and I still can't get him being in this state during a whole new marriage. Not even dating… remarried and hes like this. Will he be telling his next wife every mean thing you ever said to him someday? Sounds like it. Stop babying a grown man.

No. 278680

I hear you. He's not a broken mess or anything, he just cannot accept compliments at all. Guess I painted him that way and that's not entirely accurate. You're right, though. I should stop being overly kind and giving him butt pats. I should change my approach, be direct and tell him to move on or seek therapy if he can't accept my genuine compliments. I mean, we're in year four. Should be making progress by now. I appreciate the brutal honesty, thank you.

No. 278686

It's on libgen, just pirate it and see if it's something for you

No. 278714

Is it normal to lose libido while not on bc or anything?
The only real changes are that I quit porn, lost weight, and reached my mid twenties. I'm still a virgin for various reasons, unsure if that could contribute. Has it just gone on too long so my libido gave up kek?

Not to say it's completely gone. But I used to be insatiable and a gross coomer who basically thought of sex 24/7. I still think of it often, but get aroused and masturbate a lot less. A reduction from 2-3 times a day to maybe once a week if I find the time. Currently my fantasies are kind of for the aesthetic and mood, maybe a bit out of habit.

There are no intentions to get laid anytime soon so "fixing" this is solely for my benefit. It's mainly just a weird shift, even if it may be for the best at the end of the day.

No. 278715

File: 1659146770389.jpg (206.57 KB, 1023x731, 26282324630_a12823fe3f_b.jpg)

Damn nonnie, here I thought corn was part of a healthy diet, now you're telling me it causes irreversible brain damage? I have a chowder going as we speak!

No. 278718

How long has your libido been low? What you're describing just sounds like a normal fluctuation tbh. Our libidos aren't going to be high 100% of the time. You mentioned a couple of lifestyle changes, I'd honestly just put it down to that. I'm sure it'll creep back in time, you mentioned yourself you've stopped cooming endlessly to porn, which would be enough of a change on its own.

No. 278769

I'd accept this excuse if it was only your first time together and/or if he was a blushing virgin. Anything else and he is a coomer.

No. 278777

>The only real changes are that I quit porn
I feel like that explains it. Getting back to the basics of using your imagination after being used to porn for years.. takes some time to retrain yourself to get aroused without this crutch.

No. 278789

Nta but I feel like it's really hard. I've been pornfree for at least two and half years with zero cravings but I still can't masturbate without resorting to coomer scenarios that don't make me orgasm. My imagination is still fucked. I know it's getting better because I have sensual sex dreams semi-regularly, that are exactly what I crave, but I can't seem to replicate them when I'm consciously fantasizing as I always end up with some bullshit 3rd person porn-like pov images and I hear repeated in my head cliche fanfiction erotica lines.

No. 278794

It's been considerably lowered in the past year, but I quit porn about 3 years ago now (with some slip ups but rarely any more). But honestly even sexual content like erotic art doesn't do much for me any longer.
It does coincide with me losing the last 10 lbs due to digestive and sports injury issues. Maybe that last 10 was keeping my hormones horny.
Actually, could no longer lifting weights cause this? I get exercise but no lifting.

Luckily I always used my imagination alongside porn so this wasn't a huge issue. Helped me quit a bit more easily than people who struggle with visualization.

No. 279015

>my husband is still suffering from the abuse from his ex-wife
And you believed his “muh crazy ex girl” story?

No. 279021

Anon, here’s a more detailed response. Saying “you’re ugly because you’re a deathfat” isn’t abuse. If you’re into butterball porkchop boys that’s fine, but crying on lolcow of all places because your Nigel isn’t embracing his natural curves like he’s in a ‘bodypositive’ lizzo music video at all times is ridiculous. He’s a grown man with a degree, if he has the humor of a zoomer pointing at a trash can and saying ‘me’ then that’s his own fucking problem. You’re coddling a heckin’ 200 pound chonker like an infant.

No. 279566

The "abuse" is the ex saying she's not attracted because his body changed… he got fat… kek

No. 280055

What is considered a healthy "power dynamic" (or whatever you'd call it) during sex? I think I'm the porn sick one in our relationship because I'll ask my partner to spank me using a belt or call me names and he apologies and goes soft after a while. I enjoy it and he will try his hardest to do it but he mostly enjoys vanilla sex/rough sex as in playful spanking and going faster. I don't feel satisfied but I think it's me who is in the wrong not him.

No. 280062

i couldn't care less honestly. you also sound gullible

No. 280068

i don't think your desires are healthy, no. i also think it's a HUGE mistake to push a guy to be in any way more violent with you during sex or sexual situations. the male brain is retarded and training it to associate sex with violence is moronic and dangerous

No. 280084


Before you go into sex, please sit down and do a kink checklist/bdsm checklist with him about what he wants and what you want. It should take an hour or so. Go over it together, decide what you both want and state in no uncertain terms what you expect from him and what he expects from you.

You should be doing regular meta-talks or checkins to discuss what is and isn't working in the bedroom.

Do you have a safeword? (Both verbal and non-verbal).

A healthy power exchange involves a ton of communication and setting expectations ahead of time of what power you want to give him, and even what power he wants to take.

It sounds like right now there is no communication happening outside of sex and it's making the both of you frustrated, and it's incredibly dangerous to ask him to do impact play/humiliation play without setting some guardrails for the both of you (What if he takes it too far? What if he doesn't know how to use a belt properly?)

BDSM doesn't have to be about pornsickness, or derived from it, but it does have to be done with intention.

No. 280085

kinda fucked to make anyone participate in that but your scrote is stupid for going along, even when he is losing a boner.

No. 280093

What exercises are good for building leg endurance? When I'm on top I can actually go for 15+ minutes pretty hard/fast but I can definitely feel it walking up stairs the next morning. What exercises can I do?

No. 280117

Why do some of you guys want to corrupt perfectly fine men? Stop being self-loathing, and getting off to being degraded, it should be a good thing your bf isn't aroused by belittling you.

No. 280118

No. 280123

>>280084 I completely understand your advice and I agree people can do as they wish but I don't think it's a healthy mentality to ask him to act that way like other people have said.
>>280117 >>280068 We talked about it before, he told me he could never lay a hand on me because he couldn't live having hurt someone. Him and his sibling were beaten as children by his mom. I was assaulted by a relative as a child. I think at this stage he has matured from his experience and he wants to better himself. I don't feel like I've grown from my experience. I don't know why or how to get better.

No. 280511

>BDSM doesn't have to be about pornsickness, or derived from it
well too bad cause it always is

No. 280513

lmaooo fucking hell nothing makes my pussy drier than the thought of a ~kink checklist~ or any of this corny formalized bdsm shit.

At absolute best, bdsm is lame and cringy. At worst, it's abusive and degrading. The only advice worth taking on it is: get better taste. This goes 1000x time over for 'submissive' women.

No. 280527

Do those of you that live with your partners masturbate at all? I just moved in with my girlfriend and realized that I'm way too uncomfortable with the idea of masturbating while she's in the house even though sometimes I want to when I'm awake in the middle of the night and having trouble sleeping.

No. 280533

i used to feel really bad about the times i would masturbate when my girlfriend was in the house but then i told her and she told me i was being silly and it wasn’t a problem if i wanted to

No. 280534

Your partner is literally right there, why not just have sex?

No. 280537

Yeah I do, usually when he's at work, but when he's here I just don't know how to tell him I'd like some alone time.

No. 280549

I only masturbate when my husband is at work, if I'm particularly horny kek

No. 280551

No. We fuck every day if not 2x a day so there is no need.

No. 280557

she might not be in the mood. or sometimes i just want to masturbate. it’s a completely different thing to having sex for me

No. 280558

Cause it's weird.. seriously I would not be ok with my husband just jerking off while I am right there and available or jerking off next to me in bed while I am sleeping like that other anon said. Just have sex with your partner if you are horny and they are right there.

No. 280570

I'd get it if maybe it was during the day or anon spent more time masturbating than she did being intimate with her girlfriend, but anon specified it happens when she's awake in the middle of the night and can't sleep. Personally I'd be annoyed if I was asleep and my partner woke me up and said they wanted to have sex lol, especially if I had shit to do the next day. Just goes to show that people have different drives and boundaries when it comes to that kind of stuff.

No. 280587

Yeah, I really try to avoid waking her up in the middle of the night. We've talked and she's comfortable with me masturbating I just personally feel too weird to actually do it. My options are either to do it while she's asleep next to me or go into another room I guess and I don't like either.

No. 280652

I could see how it could be an uncomfortable situation. I think your only options (unless I'm overlooking something) are to not do it and wait it out, wake her up for sex, masturbate next to her, or do it in another room. I think it really depends on what you're most comfortable with. I definitely wouldn't feel comfortable masturbating next to someone, but I'm sure I'd be able to find an area in my apartment (hypothetically if I didn't live in a studio kek) that I could make into a comfy space where I'd feel comfortable enough to do it. Again, it's up to what's most comfortable for you though! There are also people who just stop masturbating once they live with their partners because it's hard to feel comfortable with that.

No. 280735

Personally I'd go in the shower then and maybe masturbate with the shower head or something but that might wake her up depending on how loud it is.

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