File: 1649081054548.jpg (29.02 KB, 564x730, romansa.jpg)
No. 253921
Like the title says.
Previous Thread:
>>133562 No. 253946
>>253937I'm going to say condoms aren't the issue and that there's other factors at play when this shit happens to a 22 year old man. If you've tried thinner condoms and they're still enough to do this it's not the condoms fully causing it. He's either already desensitized from pornsickness and that was just the tipping point or he's mentally too attached to the fantasy of rawing and cremapies and again that could be from years of porn setting his expectations. Reality isn't porn and his skewed idea of what counts as hot sex is being let down.
I've only had this experience with one guy and it wasn't a serious relationship so him blaming the condom was enough for me to say.. no condom, bu-bye then. I don't know if I'd have the heart to work through this issue with a man or picture a future where we've to get his dick to work again when tbh they often just deny the porn issue outright and without that honestly you can't move forward.
No. 253965
>>253948Put it in the back of your mouth and start swallowing as it starts to come out, like when you are chugging water. That way you also don't taste it as much cause it doesn't touch your tongue.
Personally I prefer to swallow it rather than spit it out because you already have the stuff in your mouth anyways and spitting it just swirls it around your mouth more and makes the taste and texture stay in your mouth longer.
No. 253967
>>253948Anon have you told him about any of this? If he is a genuinely good guy he'll try to understand and you can both discuss possible solutions. I had the same problem in a 5 year relationship and I didn't tell him for a long time. When I did tell him he felt awful about having sex when I didn't really want it. In the end we broke it off because he couldn't do something to me that I didn't want, and I couldn't force myself to just do it to make him happy. We're good friends now and we're happier that way.
Also you really shouldn't force yourself to swallow if you don't like it. He's already getting an orgasm while you don't.
> I feel like I'm choking or drowning and I don't like the texture. It's like a wet booger or phlegmDon't indulge his whims just because you love him. Clearly this disgusts you so you shouldn't do it.
No. 253971
>>253967Unpopular opinion, call me a scrote or whatever, but if you want to have a relationship with a man you gotta do a little bit of give and take and that includes sometimes doing things that you are not 100% enjoying yourself. Men need sex a lot more than women do because that is how men bond emotionally, this is scientifically proven. They also just have a much higher libido than us, imagine how you feel on your horniest day, that is how men feel all the time. While for us it is enough to cuddle and say nice things to each other, for men the sexual aspect is extremely important for the health of the relationship and for their bond with you.
Obviously don't force yourself to have sex if you don't want to, but I'm gonna be honest you will probably have a really hard time finding a man who is okay with not having sex or very rarely having sex and especially if you have sex a lot with them in the beginning because you want to keep him around and then once you are in a steady relationship you slowly start to taper it off cause you feel like you don't need to make yourself do it anymore, you are gonna have a failed relationship every time. Either be honest from the get-go and hope to find a man with a very low libido, or just don't have a relationship.
No. 253981
>>253951He always does foreplay and kisses, massages and cuddles me before sex. We make out and grope each other. And I usually warm him up and get him hard by stroking it or sucking on it. He always eats me out before he puts it in because that's the only way I can get wet (I have never used artificial lube before). Once I orgasm and he puts it in, it feels really nice and that's the only time I ever get horny.
>>253956Yeah I think that might be the cause that killed my libido. I don't want to get pregnant though and condoms aren't that nice. I like feeling physically connected to him without a barrier in the way.
>>253965Thanks anon, I will give that a try.
>>253967I've only done it once and it was something I've never experienced, so of course I got shocked and disgusted by it. But I'd like to overcome my gag reflex and be able to do it.
>>253971That's exactly my reasoning and logic. He obviously fantasizes about me swallowing a lot and finds it hot, and I'd like to please him in that way because I love him very much. He is a very good guy. When I ran to the sink choking and spat it out, he hasn't asked me to swallow ever since or dirty talked about it. He looked genuinely concerned too and his boner went away lol. He told me I could skip that part and he can just cum in me the other way. Men have an obsession with having their sperm inside a woman - it's like the pinnacle of male sexuality, whether it be in the vagina or the mouth.
I can't really say what his libido is. I think once a day is ideal for him - 2x a day is too much. We do it once a week now that we're both busy with school and are in a long-term relationship. When we were in the honeymoon phase, sometimes we'd do it everyday, once to four times a day. I did force myself at the time but that's because my hormones were on a high for my first ever boyfriend and sexual encounter.
No. 254026
I was about to make a new one of these and also use a cat as the picture lmao. you beat me to it.
>>253971in theory I agree, but the thing about men's desires is that they're often gross and influenced by porn. I don't mind giving blowjobs, I think of it as pleasuring my partner because I want to make him feel good, but their obsession with swallowing is really offputting to me. it's like they care more about making you swallow cum than the actual orgasm they get from a blowjob. it almost feels like it's more about humiliation or it's some kind of dominance thing. when I asked my ex why he wanted me to swallow so bad he couldn't even come up with a reason. it's kind of disheartening when you want to pleasure your partner but he cares more about making you swallow his bodily discharge than the actual pleasure.
No. 254164
>>254129Well you just have to know the red flags of a porn sick guy and see what his fantasies are. If it involves domination, swallowing cum, cum shots, or any other porn influenced ideas, then you know you’re with a pornsick guy.
What are other ideas men get from porn?
No. 254181
File: 1649182375669.jpg (6.16 KB, 450x450, 21bC3mqau0L._AC_SS450_.jpg)
I want to get a clitoral toy for the first time, and I was wondering should I buy Satisfyer Pro Penguin next Generation or Pro 2 Next Generation? I don't know if theres any difference, as to which one would be better, so for me the only difference is the price, the penguin is 10€ more expensive.
sorry for bad eng
No. 254196
>>254192Try using bottled lube cause you don't get that much volume of lube in the condoms. Like use as much lube as you need for the skin not to rub but instead to like glide against each other.
Also make sure you are thoroughly washing (with water) and drying yourself afterwards to minimize skin irritation.
Also try the extra thin condoms so that it helps reduce the lack of sensation condoms can induce for men.
No. 254204
>>254197I started having sex when I was 14, didn't have a proper orgasm with a guy for a year or 2 and it was only via oral/fingering and using sex toys together.
I didn't have an orgasm from just penetrative sex until I was about 20-21.
I still find it much easier to orgasm via oral or using toys whilst having sex with a dude.
Penetrative sex orgasms depend a lot more on the mans equipment and how he moves his weight during sex in my opinion so I think some men just can't hit the spot due to anatomical reasons out with their control to some extent (heavier men can exert more pressure/power during sex so it's not just a penis thing either).
No. 254228
>>254226Ntayrt but ask them about their masturbation/porn habits, this can be done in like a flirty way if you don't want them to feel like you are scoping them out.
Talk to them about fetishes and kinks too, this can be done in a jokey way or by commenting on like someone elses sex life if you don't wanna be direct.
Usually this will give you a good clue about what kinda shit they are into an if it's hardcore crap they have picked up from porn.
No. 254229
>>254052Yeah I have, orgasms aren't that great to me tbh. I guess I"m just not a sexual person. I can physically get off but not mentally when he eats me out. It feels like he's far away when his face is between my legs licking my clit/fingering me. I like it when his body is aligned with mine and we are kissing with our hands on each other because it is romantic and feels like we are intimate and bonding. My libido is non-existent when his head is down there and the orgasms aren't mindblowing as a result. It gets mindblowing after I'm done orgasming, when he is holding me and he is inside me. That's when I'm mentally and emotionally horny. I wish I could have a vaginal orgasm even if they're not real because when he has his penis inside me,that's the only part where I feel mentally/emotionally horny.
>>254214I want to enjoy having sex with him. Maybe participating in more sexual acts will make me more sexual and awaken something in me. And I like pleasing my partner. He's always expressed swallowing as a fantasy of his, and I like to get him off in whatever way I can.
I'm also very inexperienced and have only done typical sex positions.
No. 254233
>>254231Yeah try and not give too much away about what you have and have not actually tried but you can bring up lots of more out there kinks and talk about friends or influencers/celebs that are into that shit and watch his reaction.
Lots of men will be super interested in a girl bringing up kinks etc and honestly you don't even need to say it's something you have tried or would like to try to get them to talk about their own preferences.
Usually you can tell if they are holding back, try bringing it up when they are tipsy if you feel they are the type to hold back that information.
No. 254248
>>254226If they have good female friends since childhood(view women as people not objects), good friends in general they spend time with(not having time to sit and jerk off, not having internet brain rot), if they are affectionate(not only focused on sex) and give you plenty of genuine compliments not only on your looks(not porn induced standards and comparing you to filtered and shooped models).
Although one of the best I've slept with was a complete coomer man whore, but didn't mention other girls at all, only focused on pleasuring me, didn't want anything in return, stopped the second he suspected I didn't like something, asked before doing anything, but I think he was a unicorn.
No. 254299
>>254197I also lost my virginity at 14, and didn't orgasm with a partner until maybe 17? I had a bf I didn't know was a virgin until after we had sex a couple times, but I ended up training him to make me orgasm and he was keen to do it.
I'm very lucky though in that the partners I've had want to make it a priority.
No. 254367
>>253937My boyfriend didn't watch porn and that still happened to him. He's healthy, active, and muscular, but his testosterone levels still came back low. He got on testosterone injections and the problem is gone now.
Endocrine disruptors are a rabbit hole that's worth investing time into and unfortunately they affect testosterone more than estrogen because of the fragility of the molecule. Maybe your bf is simply a pornsick scrote but hormonal issues are worth considering. No 22 year old should be suffering from ED.
No. 255652
File: 1649629377317.jpg (Spoiler Image, 46.42 KB, 750x476, kirbt.jpg)
Okay so, I just started dating this guy, and from what he tells me it sounds like he has a very curved downward penis (I haven't seen it), to the point where he thinks that intercourse simply will not work (he is a virgin). It's so sad because he's really attractive but from what I read about Peyronie's disease (and because his dick has always been like this), it doesn't seem like it can be cured? Like at this point he would definitely be in the "Chronic" stage. He's still able to get erections and has a really high sex drive and high stamina however. He was already skittish because of the whole virginity thing. I don't know if I should pressure him towards going to a urologist or just accept a relationship with him will be penis-less. What softens the blow a lot is that he is very generous and eager sexually but I just want it to be more equal. Either way I want to stay with him, I adore him. It's just this one thing. Do any anons have experience with this? Advice?
No. 255675
>>255669I have a routine. I focus on full body and core/lower body. (Not get a huge butt but because glutes are important to support your pelvic floor. The bonus is not peeing yourself later on in life.) I do ten pound kettle bells and hand weights, focusing on squats, swings, and basic lifts. It takes probably like an hour three or four times a week. It took a couple weeks but the building muscle and change in hormones that comes with it made a big difference. I also started sleeping more and drinking more water and it helped a problem I was having with wetness my bc was causing so make sure you’re in general taking care of yourself.
With pelvic floor there’s relaxation and there’s kegels. You’re pelvic floor is like a shelf that supports everything down there but like other muscles it can get too tight or weak. If your doing too many kegels and no stretching you’ll over tighten it and can lead to tightness, pain soreness, blood flow issues, and bladder issues. If it’s too loose it can be difficult to have proper muscle control and lead to bladder issues later too. Does that make sense? Essentially you’re trying to build a solid foundation in general in that area and working out and building muscles increases testosterone which leads to a high libido.
No. 255733
File: 1649653919048.png (1.8 MB, 1282x927, motor-scooter-ride.png)
i'm going to be seeing my long distance bf soon. we only got close and started dating once he moved away so we've never had sex with each other before.
he's made it clear that he is very into riding which is something i am not really confident with (i've told him and he's still excited). i'm not a virgin but every time i've tried to ride in the past it hasn't felt right. the guy will always need to put his dick in me cause i can't get it to stick in correctly and i just feel really awkward until we switch positions. i really like this guy a lot so i really want to learn how to do it right (especially since it seems like a lot of women find it super pleasurable) so are there any good tips for a complete noob like me?
No. 255912
File: 1649736986700.jpg (40.72 KB, 600x800, 3651651635.jpg)
>>255888Every scrote is different and you'll have to try different techniques to find what he likes the most. There really is no "proper" way to give head.
However, I do think there are some things you should do and that is definitely using enough spit. Don't be afraid to get it all over yourselves. I personally think the sloppier, the better. If it's too dry, he won't have any pleasure from it. Also, a lot of girls don't realize this, but you also need to be in a comfortable position to give him head. Find a position that's most comfortable to you. Otherwise, you'll get tired more easily before he can come or you'll interrupt it constantly trying to reposition yourself. I find it best to have my bf laying down on the bed, with me sitting up between his legs.
As for things that maybe will work: My bf really likes how enthusiastic I am to suck him off. Act like you're hungry for it. Moan and hum while you're sucking him. My bf has told me the vibrations from it feel really good. Try sucking his tip while stroking the base of his dick. Some guys prefer that you don't change the pace, so maybe try that. Maybe try teasing him too. My bf gets pleasure whenever I make him beg for my mouth. Don't give it to him right away. Kiss and lick his tip over and over. Talk dirty to him while you do it.
But also nona, it's ok if he can't come just from oral. It doesn't mean you suck at it. I don't always get my bf off with just oral. Sometimes he needs more stimulation. There's nothing wrong with treating bj's as just foreplay. Good luck.
No. 255932
File: 1649749408027.jpg (67.46 KB, 564x751, 1646745251458.jpg)
I'm very into CBT and dick stepping but my boyfriend is unwilling to meet me halfway and is scared, is there any way I can make him accept my fetish?
No. 255936
File: 1649749914912.jpg (451.93 KB, 600x800, 921587b61fa8e9ac2ce818ec7b670e…)
>>255932This is similar to my situation. Basically I love boyfeet and my bf gets self conscious whenever I try to suck on his toes. He says they're smelly and ugly or w/e. He's paranoid to the point he's always wearing socks and slippers when he never used to before. it's like he is hyper aware and gives me a weird look if he knows I am looking at his feet. What should I do nonnas? Should I explain that a foot fetish is uncontrollable and part of my brain chemistry? Should I suggest something to him that meets me halfway?
No. 255937
File: 1649750380084.png (819.12 KB, 800x1200, ead3370788ed76259a942825a834ac…)
>>255936So I was thinking he could keep the socks on? Maybe it's the skin contact that's making him especially apprehensive. The thing is if the stocks stay on they have to be musky and smelly (and somewhat dirty, like he's been on a run or to the gym) otherwise it does nothing for me. So I can give him the option of having naked clean feet or musky socked feet.
I know he's self conscious about the smell two but maybe if it's one or the other he'll feel more relaxed.
No. 255938
File: 1649750425510.jpg (219.45 KB, 850x842, 86643163530fd7.jpg)
>>255936have you tried removing his socks and doing it without prior warning? i think he would be very turned on by such a bold move and warm up to it. you may start doing it in his sleep to condition him. he really should let you though, he sounds ungrateful as hell
No. 255941
>>255938Yeah I have tried getting to his feet by force but he gets really defensive (he even cried once) saying I was breaking his boundaries and trust. But I just don't see any other way I could have done it. I keep asking and he keeps refusing so I thought maybe forcing him would make him actually realize it felt good, but… I guess not. Maybe I should have mentioned it earlier. I have forced sex (and other fetishes) on him multiple times already and he eventually gives in but I can't get him to accept the feet thing.
Maybe I should educate him on how beautiful his feet really are? Like he wouldn't be so self conscious if I described how I loved his arches, sole wrinkles, and optimal toe length in detail- because then he'd know I'm serious and I know what I'm talking about.
No. 255942
>>255936>>255937>>255938Footfags truly have no chill
I'm dying at the thought of your poor boyfriend wearing socks around the house because you're like a hungry goblin obsessed with his feet
If he's not into it, you're not compatible, you lil freak.
No. 255954
File: 1649752025201.jpg (196.41 KB, 850x1357, sample_673975b6f4775f7edcb22c2…)
>>255952Manfeet are always associated with nasty bara males drawn for gay men. I may like feet but I still have standards.
Bishiefeet sounds too weird.
No. 255962
File: 1649753283482.jpg (16.06 KB, 480x360, squidsponge.jpg)
Ok since we are already confessing weird fetishes and reluctant bfs I finally gathered the courage to ask my bf to RP with me a few months ago. It started off mostly vanilla like dr/nurse and a little brat taming and segued into RPing as fictional characters.
So I need you all to know my first sexual awakening was to SpongeBob. It's always been a secret of mine but I felt comfortable enough to bring it up to my bf and ask if he could RP with me. Obviously it was awkward to talk about and reveled a lot of uncomfortable and embarrassing childhood memories, yet somehow he agreed.
The only problem is that he won't be SpongeBob. He says SpongeBob is too effeminate and it would be too "gay" for him to act like him comfortably. But, he's ok with being Squidward and me being SpongeBob. I told him that just having fake gay sex is already gay and it doesn't become more gay if he's the "bottom" (though I'd let him be a SpongeBob top). The thing is, I am attracted to SpongeBob primarily so I want to have sex with SpongeBob, not Squidward, and not any other character.
I just wish he would be more understanding. I do a lot for him and I RPed situations with him I wasn't completely into.
No. 255964
>>255962Honestly
nonnie the most concerning thing here is how weirdly misogynistic his aversion to RPing as spongebob is.
He doesn't want to be spongebob because he thinks he's too effeminate? It sounds really scrotey to me. He obviously thinks femininity is beneath him and humiliating. Were you always playing the role as a fem/sub in other scenarios? idk it's a huge red flag to me.
>>255963That's just avoiding the deeper issue here which is her bf's misogyny.
No. 256036
File: 1649783271899.jpg (9.75 KB, 250x193, thumbnail_6dd1df7ab36e0146651e…)
>>255962Why not rp as Sandy so he can no longer say it's gay to rp a spongebob because you're roleplaying heterosexual sex.
No. 256042
>>255948>>255942There's nothing wrong with being into feet, but if he's not into or comfortable with it (him literally crying is such a red flag that you need to stop) then you need to break up and not figure out ways to "make" him tolerate it. Most people don't even like how they look, I'm personally kinda into massages but if my partner didn't want to even do
that I'd just drop it and do something else. Footfaggery is more common in men anyway so it might not even be hard to find a new BF who is into it.
No. 256111
File: 1649808483055.jpg (27.85 KB, 750x719, FP2mNCjUcAAv1Dm.jpg)
>>255962mfw reading this post
No. 256121
File: 1649814548904.jpg (53.28 KB, 640x616, oh-hell-naw-they-burning-spunc…)
>>255962I have so many questions, wdym role play Spongebob? Does he imitate the voice? Do you quote Sponebob memes?
How was Spongebob your sexual awakening please nona I won't sleep at night until I have answers
No. 256128
File: 1649818248700.jpg (108.65 KB, 1080x1283, 1648965482794.jpg)
I just started dating a guy and he's perfect in everyway, he's totally focused on being a sub to service me and i have loved our chemistry fooling around. But we finally had sex for the first time after fooling around for a week and he has a pretty small dick… i prefer oral and foreplay and he is so eager to please. But bc i have never been with a guy who was fully erect at like 4.5-5" i kept putting myself in positions he kept slipping out of? And im like trying to figure out if hes just an inexperienced otaku or if i need to lower my expectations for what small dick can do??
No. 256130
File: 1649818902559.jpg (71.2 KB, 1024x576, INCHD1542_40_thumbnails_1124x5…)
>>255962>>255963This. Compliment him on his anchor arms
No. 256139
>>256132I honestly dont care that hes small/average, bc i prefer clitoral stim anyways. It was just kinda annoying that any position (other then from behind and me sitting/ grinding on) didnt really work for him, he kept slipping out. Hes also a bbm and its my first time being with a guy w/ a belly and thighs.
Idk maybe it was awkward bc it was our first time having penetrative sex and i genuinely think its been YEARS since hes slept with a woman (he wouldnt say) But i kind of love that hes this servile inexperienced nerd boy. Its just my type, i just need to train him i guess…
No. 256169
>>256155Go back to reddit. Men do weird
abusive shit to their gfs and their gfs let them do it just to satisfy them. A guy being uncomfortable is enough to make you have a meltdown but men wanting and actually committing rape crimes is something you can brush over? Kek. He won't pick you, instead of caping for men's degeneracy, lose some weight and get some self respect.
No. 256195
>>256192it’s not bait, i’m just socially and sexually retarded
i said that it hurt and he stopped right away but it still seems like he wants to do anal again, he’s brought it up several times since we did it. like talking about how great it was etc.
>>256193i really don’t think he’s into it for that, he treats me like a princess in all other situations (and like i said, he stopped when i said it hurt). he’s really good to me and always has been.
No. 256197
>>256195Ask him
why he wants anal. Is he pornsick in the past? Does he think it's better than vaginal sex? Does he want it because
he thinks it's hot? Next time he ask tell you would think it's hot if you put something in his ass and see if he sings a different tune.
No. 256200
>>256197> Does he want it because he thinks it's hot?yes he’s told me he thinks it’s hot, to my knowledge he has no history of pornsickness. he also often talks about how perfect he thinks my ass is, which might be related? he really likes vaginal sex too, i don’t think it’s a matter or preferring anal over vaginal.
>>256198thank you nonna (and everyone else who replied). i’ll tell him it just really hurt if he brings it up again, i think he’ll respect it because he’s really kind and selfless.
> there are plenty of other things he could like that wouldn’t hurt youi know he likes oral but i’m not a fan of giving it, maybe i just need to get used to it because sometimes when i fantasize about it i find it hot. but then when i try to do it it feels really gross somehow. i guess i’m just really vanilla as a person. do you know any other things i could try?
No. 256210
>>256195 >i said that it hurt >he’s brought it up several times since we did it. like talking about how great it wasYou told him it hurt… and he's forgotten that part and just talks about it being great. Jesus anon. Take off your rose tinted glasses and see that this is fucked up (closet) pornsick shitty bf behaviour.
Stop trying to do things that don't bring you pleasure. I promise you'll have much bigger regrets if your bend over backwards in bed than you'll ever have for putting boundaries in place.
No. 256235
>>256188if it's not something you find arousing then why are you trying to 'endure' it? there's a difference between doing something he likes vs putting yourself through trials and pain just so he can stick his dick up your ass.
"doing things he likes" would be like giving him normal head or maybe tying him up - both of those things you can do without having your body be sore afterwards. having your ass fucked and then being in pain afterwards is not acceptable, and honestly who gives a fuck if he's interested in it or likes it? are you willing to put your literal butthole through pain and uncomfort just because he's seen this shit (no pun intended) happen effortlessly in porn? if you are, ask yourself: would he do the same for me? chances are he won't, not on the same level as anal you're describing here.
>>256195you are not "sexually retarded" but you seem socially inept enough to not understand that this man is pushing your boundaries. the only way he should ever bring up anal to you is if you personally enjoy and get aroused by it - and you haven't mentioned being that way, and considering it hurts a lot I'm guessing you don't. stop doing these things for the sake of pleasing him and thinking that he "treats you like a princess" because guess what, he isn't. If he really treat you like you deserve to be treated, he would have stopped as soon as he clicked you aren't interested or find discomfort in doing anal. But he's not doing that, is he? he's pushing you and bringing it up again despite the fact it visibly hurt you.
>>256200>i’ll tell him it just really hurt if he brings it up again, i think he’ll respect it because he’s really kind and selfless.If this happens again it's proof that he ain't listening to you, nonna. If it does happen again - and for your sake I'm hoping it won't - you need to be firm. Don't be shy or try and "like, I think, I don't know" your way into this conversation. Your body was uncomfortable and in pain for a reason, and you evidently didn't enjoy it thus you need to be firm on your stance of not wanting to do it again, no matter how much he might whine at you. If he does object, then you might want to reasses how kind and selfless he is.
No. 256260
i’m
>>256188 and i want to thank everyone who replied to me. you have all given me a lot to think about and i’m glad i asked you guys. thank you so much for taking the time to respond to me and telling me what i needed to hear.
love you, nonas.
No. 256371
File: 1649914370095.jpeg (90.71 KB, 500x707, 5753785689446.jpeg)
I'm reluctant to have girl go down on me. I can get stupid wet but hold it together with clit play but when I'm close to finishing I just start gushing and I can't control it. I don't want to accidentally piss on her face pls how do I not do that?
No. 256470
File: 1649963559412.jpeg (Spoiler Image, 497.14 KB, 1800x1800, 0f00aaa5-4648-4288-b7dd-d8b1a0…)
>>256465I just don't want to be a box of gushers, at least a bad box anyway
No. 256482
more of a vent i guess but i have a reverse foot fetish, i really hate that word actually so nevermind. its not a fetish i simply find the idea of someone cumming on my feet to be cute. anyways im big on cardio, running etc and my feet are disgusting with calluses and any footfag scrote is gonna be pornsick to death with a glut of unnaturally smooth weirdly drawn anime girl feet and will probably be repulsed by mine
>>256371this picture…
No. 256700
>>255652hi nonna, sorry that this is so late but my partner has peyronies but the kind where it curves upwards. he's always had it but it's diminished over time. we cant do everything someone with a normal penis has (for example, its not versatile in that going 'against' the scar tissue makes his dick sensitive to pulling his penis too far in any other direction) due to the tissue we can't do for e.g. reverse cowgirl and oral but the curve makes missionary and doggy very good.
firstly, i would say that if you like this guy you could very well keep it up with him and if you get to the stage where you're comfortable having sex you could just try and see how well his penis could work in reality - it is hard to imagine but don't listen to how a virgin think sex works. there are definitely articles online about positions that can work for people w different types of curves.
secondly, if it does get bad, and you want to keep trying with him, refraining from masturbating can help lessen the effects of peyronies, and it also makes them more pent up and better at fucking. encourage him to get better with his hands and mouth to make up for the limitations of his dick.
No. 257163
>>256817he's either porn addicted or on SSRIs. he tells you everything is great because
1. he doesn't want to offend you (but even with shitty technique, scrotes should still be able to stay hard)
2. he's one of the two things i mentioned but he doesn't want to tell you the truth because he's scared you'll see him as "less of a man" (most likely option by miles).
No. 257189
>>256817You don't have to be the best of the best at bjs just to keep a man hard. His dick being in a mouth should be enough to acheive that. Especially with a new lover. Him not finishing is one thing (men get used to finishing by hand) but going soft.. he has a problem he's not telling you. I highly doubt this is on you or that looking up bj tips will do much to fix it.
Like another anon said SSRIs and I think some antipsychotics affect things but if it's not on them he's likely pornsick. Whatever the cause is it's on him to be straight with you and address it and most of all to stop putting you through the experience of sucking on a limp dick.
No. 257315
>>257163>>257189I've read that guys who take stimulants or benzos recreationally have similar issues when they develop a tolerance or go through withdrawals. If he's a rare unicorn man that legit doesn't watch porn, he might be a
former addict who recently stopped (I knew a guy like that).
No. 263448
>>263445Exactly this
>>263447, just say that.
No. 263520
>>263471Consciously accept that he finds you just as attractive without it. He's being intimate with you regardless, so it obviously doesn't make a difference.
I used to feel this way too but eventually I just stopped wearing makeup and it made me realize how much I made my self confidence rely on it.
No. 263661
>>263484I know why I have such an issue with my natural face, it's because it doesn't make me think of sex at all, it looks too innocent and it makes me cringe to imagine it having sex with someone
>>263497Sometimes I try to keep my makeup on after the shower. But I wish I could deal with the issue itself.
>>263530I am unfortunately fucked up in this department, my face isn't even absolutely beat.
>How do you not feel like a fraudI don't because I see myself as I am with makeup on if that makes sense. Me without makeup looks like she doesn't have sex.
>Shake off your shackles my lord.I guess they feel comfortable to me.
>>263520>Consciously accept that he finds you just as attractive without it. I feel like this shouldn't be. I feel like he doesn't care how I look like at all. I get it, but sometimes I wish I knew his favorite outfits or looks or whatever.
No. 263725
>>263661>it looks too innocent and it makes me cringe to imagine it having sex with someoneThat's legitimately retarded, are you pornsick enough to think being sexual means looking like a made up porn star?? Or have you convinced yourself you're babyfaced? I promise you don't look like an infant and have a normal adult face like everyone else.
Having sex with makeup on is gross anyway, that shit rubs off on the pillow and melts and ugh, yuck.
No. 264058
>>263768The SSRIs fuckeing you up this quickly indicates it will only get worse. Switch medications asap or get off them altogether.
>>264035Do you have a history of sexual trauma? Do you have low self esteem? Is it hard to trust your loved ones? Are you ashamed to exist, take up space, have wants/needs, feel pleasure, etc.? If you struggle with any of that, those are the things to work through.
No. 264212
>>264076I can see where you're coming from but it's not really a power fantasy so much as it was just fun to get a reaction out of him. Any hang ups he has with our sex life I'm aware of and isn't really the issue here. We have a dynamic that works so it's not like I'm some timid traumatized log just bearing it. It's still fun and something I seek out. I just can't stand being the focus.
>>264058All of the above, am recently in therapy which is what had me thinking about this stuff in general. Trying to advocate for myself makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong.
No. 264275
File: 1652696299167.png (5.3 KB, 182x203, 874-InbyuO-96HfUI-hgjUJ7867BH6…)
reposting from the vagina thread cus it's not really active, but I struggle to locate my clit, so trying to get my bf to find it is even harder. I was wondering if any anons have any suggestions for affordable but strong clitoris-specific vibrators? I've never had an orgasm but I also think I'm not very sensitive either because I once bought a cheap mini bullet and it did nothing.
No. 264353
File: 1652714242874.png (24.85 KB, 240x300, e8d_GFSJnmb2f64b1-6f69-4476-bc…)
>>264294>>264305it's either very small or very hidden, because I can't really "see" it, but I can feel it like a lump under my skin, but I can't move my fingers or hand fast enough to reach any sort of climax. I definitely know it's there, but she's shy I think. I heard that sometimes you can see it when you're aroused, but I haven't seen it. It feels like a waste to task my bf to do it when I can't even tell him what to do because I don't even know what I like or how to direct him to find the silly thing.
No. 264401
>>264353One of the reasons you may not be able to see your clit is because you haven't had an orgasm yet. Imo, once you have a few orgasms it will be easier to spot it, so to speak. So, learn to masturbate. This will help you know your own body, it's fun, relieves stress, and it will help the sexual part of your relationship, once you know what you like. Use the advice anon above gave you!
That aside, there may be some medical condition?? I'm not a doctor, so try googling it, see what you get.
No. 264413
>>255932look I know this is late but the way I've gotten men into it is to start pressing down on their cock with your feet. Like, under the table footsies kinda deal. Press firmly but only enough for it to feel good. Do that every so often but each time get a little harder.
After a while of doing that you get it hard enough he'll start to like it. Then I'd start to get rougher. Grabbing his crotch when you're horny, getting harder with that over time, maybe playfully and lightly slapping his cock or balls during foreplay. You're essentially just trying to condition him to associate that pain with pleasure. Soon enough he'll be asking for it.
No. 264472
File: 1652755933765.png (720.79 KB, 1080x2159, Screenshot_20220516-194703.png)
>>264469I'm
>>264387 and I'm assuming the anon you responded to has a similar deal as I do. Basically, it looks like the labia minora join up at a thin line and there's no bulge for a clitoris. The clitoris does not pop out the hood because it is so small, even when very aroused (I have verified this because my labia fill with blood, etc. but the clit still doesn't pop out because it is too small). The hood on mine is also very small, but the main feature is again that my clit is still proportionately so small it can't be seen.
For me, direct stimulation is painful and all touching needs to be done around the clit. I think this is because all the nerves are packed into such a small point anything bothers it.
I attached a screenshot. Basically, it's just a line is what it looks like where the minora meet.
I hope this helps.
No. 264536
>>263768Seconding that they’re fucking you up. Nobody ever warns you just how much it can affect your personal life. I thought I understood when I read the warnings that said ‘can lower libido’ but didn’t until it actually happened to me. Really consider changing yours or stopping them if you can manage that and it doesn’t endanger you. There are an invisible amount of people who find they can’t orgasm anymore or get aroused like they used to long, long
after they quit the SSRI (for me it took two years and I still have issues after 5) which you should think about if you’re not okay with being asexual and celibate. I don’t place my worth or esteem on sex and would still say not having the drive anymore feels frustating and just dysfunctional.
No. 264554
>>264549Unfortunately a lot of men are pornsick coomers, you aren't wrong about this. That's why it's important to find a guy who puts your pleasure first and makes his pleasure secondary. A guy with those personality traits won't want or even think about titjobs, deepthroating, anal, whatever because he knows you won't get any pleasure out of it. Imo a good way to figure this out is if he lets you bring up anything sexual first, lets you set the pace/lets you guide him during sex until he knows exactly what you want, etc. And when you talk about sex, a good sign is that he's into sensual acts (mentions kissing, caressing, eating you out if you're into that), instead of talking about pounding you or choking you or whatever.
Honestly, I absolutely hate how sex for most men revolves around their dick and how their partner can pleasure it. If I get any indication a man is like this he goes straight to the garbage bin.
No. 264559
>>264507Kek, i was really hoping to see actual pictures of what I mean.
Obvious clitted anons are so blessed and they don't even know it. 1) it's hot to have an obvious clit and 2) it seems like it is more easy to pleasure from what I've seen
No. 264562
>>264387Thank you for the advice, I get exactly whay you mean and I'll give that a shot, thanks nonna
>>264401I considered it possibly being a medical issue, but I can get stimulation from it once I find it, but it's very difficult to get anywhere with it because it either gets too sensitive in a painful way or my hand just gets exhausted. I agree that not having an orgasm probably hinders my relationship with my clit.
>>264472I don't have a
lot of labia, but definitely more than a labiaplasty result looking amount, the layout is like what
>>264472 said, when I pull my labia minora back I don't really see anything that resembles a normal clit. I found an image that's kinda similar, but I have more inner labia than that.
No. 264564
File: 1652805085969.png (Spoiler Image, 64.17 KB, 275x145, image_2022-05-18_023113429.png)
>>264562(pic didn't attach and I forgot to spoiler originally)
No. 264657
File: 1652817621284.jpg (419.73 KB, 930x757, Accept.jpg)
This is a really stupid ramble but it's been bugging me all month. My current bf and I have a good sex life. Him and his previous partner only had anal sex (she was "Christian" and couldn't afford birth control) and on one occasion it ended in her "expelling faecel matter" over him. When I found out about this from a friend, I was repulsed and it kind of put me off anal for life. Despite this, I seem to get the impression he wants to have anal sex as he really enjoys sex from behind and is fixated on my ass. At one point while we were in the shower he asked if I wanted him to finger my ass and I had never once expressed any interest in this. I can't say anal appeals to me but I don't know how to get over the feeling of being inferior for not wanting to have anal sex and now whenever we have sex it consumes my mind. I don't know what to do, I'm open to expermentation but I'm scared that if I did agree to do it - I would be doing if for someone else and I'm not sure if it would help me get over the insecurity I feel.
No. 264671
>>264657When I was younger I felt the need to be more adventurous (and kinda was curious too) so I found myself trying anal, both giving and getting. tbh it's not surprising that someone having enough anal will eventually have a mishap. I've heard similar stories from most guys who go for that. It's also not unusual for scrotes to still be enthusiastically into anal even after being shat on in a big way. I don't get it. I kept hearing these stories and while I've never had a mishap myself I felt like I was fucking with scat fetishists based on some of the fun lil stories they shared. I stopped liking it over time and my bf still nagged for it knowing I wasn't into it. Anal fans are charming like that lol
If its not appealing to you then don't go there full stop. Men who get anal just want more and more of it. That is a boundary to protect.
No. 264694
>>264672If you don't want to do it and you're not doing it for yourself, don't.
I like anal, but I've told partners that want to do it that I won't do anything to clean myself out beforehand and if it goes to shit thats the risk theyre taking swimming up shit creek. No way am I starving myself for a day or disrupting my intestinal flora so a man can fuck a shithole and not worry about shit happening. No accidents yet though.
No. 264773
>>264047>>264058>>264536>>264553Ok so i'm taking generic lexapro for depression and anxiety. I have come to a point where I can barely function. I knew I needed help and had to get medicated to get better or on better footing mental health wise. Like I literally lost 25 pounds because I was too lazy to get out of bed and eat. Anxiety is worse than my depression however.
I see that some people are prescribed wellbutrin to counteract the negative side effects of SSRIs and it can help with libido. I'll ask my psyciatrist about it when I can see him and hope to god it works.
I have masturbated twice since my last posting and each session only resulted in one orgasm. First one was somewhat quick but hard to reach, second session took a while. Lots of arm work thats obviously distracting.
No. 265074
>>265064be honest with him and say you can only squirt from bigger penises. there is nothing stopping you from saying this unless you feel he may get
abusive or violent from it, in that case it's understandable.
any man who brags about how big his dick is never actually has a big dick, they're just hyping themselves up and they need to get put in their place. it's the same as men saying they're good at eating pussy but it just feels like porridge being slurped off a table.
idk i just feel like if you aren't honest with him soon then he's just going to carry on pestering you about this stuff and maybe eventually assume it's a problem on your end even though it isn't.
No. 265937
>>265926nta, but I don't experience pleasure stimulating my clit. I've never truly masturbated. I tried it three times, but each time, it was like scratching out a booger. If my boyfriend does it enough, I'll physically loosen up and get wetter, but there's literally no feeling. If he does it too aggressively or for too long, it's like the same nauseating jitters from too much caffeine, plus slight pain. I've never orgasmed. My body climaxes, my thighs shake and muscles begin to give out, but there's no feeling and mentally it's neutral and begins to feel like a chore, so there's no finish line.
No. 265944
>>265925Same.
I have been insterting things in my butthole since I was a child. Nobody forced me into enjoying it. The first time I did it with a man and with most men I've done it, I was the one to suggest it. I can give myself a clit orgasm very easily when doing anal. Some women can truly enjoy anal sex without the influence of men or porn, get over it.
No. 265975
File: 1653386175636.jpg (38.4 KB, 460x500, 150.jpg)
i'm tired of having no libido. i'm gonna try doing pelvic floor exercises and take supplements.
the only time i actually managed to have sex i was drunk out of my mind so maybe it really is related to my general anxiety. i'm not anxious enough to be medicated but i think i've just grown up to be tense and overthinking at all times. early life trauma also made me very apathetic towards myself and the world around me. i want to change nonnas…
No. 267252
>>267241And dump your worthless moid who seems to have short term memory loss and zero compassion for you. How is it that you explain things to him every month but he still picks fights with you again anc again? I know "dump him" may sound extreme at this stage but his refusal to listen, compromise, and
care for you while you're in ill health indicates a larger problem. Get rid of him early and save yourself the trouble.
No. 267259
>>267241You mentioned bc so ask about switching your type. If you're on any other meds (ssris) that can cause it too. Once you've looked into those causes I feel like you still need to sit the bf down and talk to him about how applying pressure is a libido killer for us.
The cycle you're describing can sometimes do more damage than the underlying medical cause did. By now you'll associate sex with negative emotions, arguments, demand being placed upon you and pressure to do things you don't want.. it's hard to return to true intimacy after that. Depending on how bad he got with the arguing you need to at minumum have a serious discussion and say how it has felt to be on your end of this. There's a difference between discussing mismatched libido, asking for sex and then full on arguing over it. You used the word arguing which isn't a good sign. There's a line there and men crossing over that line should go fuck their own hand for eternity instead.
No. 268209
File: 1654420098255.jpg (17.03 KB, 400x400, faec328aed1938c7df313343ee44b8…)
so the discussion of having sex has come up between my boyfriend and i (late 20s both, also virgins), and the topic of PiV sex is the only hurdle we've yet to fully plan on. my main concern before doing PiV is getting comfortable with the idea of penetration, hence me wanting to buy a dildo (and bullet because why not) for my use before then, but his concern is that he might not match up to it for that first time we do it together. should i proceed with the buy plan so that i can accustom myself to it all first? or would it be wiser to go human-dick-first into the pool? (before anyone asks, i am on BC)
No. 268305
>>268220>>268221>>268225right, that makes sense. thing is i have tried penetration prior to this with a little bit of craft and want to experiement a bit more properly before hand to see if i can get to where i enjoy it (otherwise, it's a mental state of "there's a thing in my vagina" and there's no thrill of it). i was considering this one
https://a.co/d/d3VNmbi from plusOne just to start off with as well, but i'm not sure if that would be any better than an actual dildo. (or i'm dumb and that's not a dildo at all) will get the bullet from that brand though, since it's affordable rn
>>268238that's a fair judgment to make when having sex for the first time though, is it not? i've told my bf that it's very likely even with all the care and comfort we give each other during it, someone could be in some level of pain or discomfort afterwards. we'll talk more on it later if that's the case, but the point being that not everyone is gonna have a great first time.
No. 269110
File: 1654743689333.jpg (Spoiler Image, 36.76 KB, 432x322, 2001_19.jpg)
How do I get rid of a fat fetish? I have trouble masturbating to anything and it's gotten worse over the years. I can abstain from fat porn for months but I can't seem to cum to anything else.
I can get close with (normal) RP and thinking about rough sex but nothing else gets me over the finish line. I can't bear to get a boyfriend without becoming somewhat normal first.
(picrel, because the actual stuff is too gross)
No. 269122
>>269119It's more like I'm the one who gets fattened, non-consensually (sometimes rapidly)
I think it's a humiliation thing. I know it's disgusting, but that's part of the appeal for me.
No. 269124
>>269123Perhaps you have a point. I've always felt disgust towards my body ever since puberty and I have trouble losing weight (stuck on BMI of 23).
Maybe I don't feel like I deserve it.
No. 269869
>>268238Yeah my first experience wasn't bad sex wise (even though it wasn't consensual) but I feel like its because I broke my hymen before I had sex the first time.
>>268221I agree, using a dildo doesn't excite me and I hardly ever use it. I don't even masturbate because I enjoy having sex with someone way better.
No. 270357
>>269110>>269122>>269124It might not 100% fit but I used to have a
problematic fetish that stemmed from low self-esteem and abuse for almost a decade, and while I didn't have a physical reliance on it to a degree (I couldn't orgasm to it because I was on meds), it was still my favorite fantasy and something that I liked reading stories about constantly and I found things that didn't involve "it" very boring (sorry for being vague, but it's embarrassing to me).
The fact you understand the appeal for you is actually a good start. Do you find actual fatness outside that context attractive? I personally didn't find my fetish to be interesting in real life (it was immoral to me, actually), and that kind of helped me crack the code and stop being reliant on it. The fetish/fantasy was personally a metaphor for me, it represented my trauma and trying to find a context where I would've found said trauma to be comfortable. And I realized those "themes" were not exclusive to that fetish, so I kind of "branched out" to similar fantasies or milder fetishes with the same thing that were less
abusive and reminiscent of things that happened to me.
I also had bad self-esteem due to weight, so I talked to my doctor about it and had him help me lose some weight. I was given a medication that can suppress appetite had him watch my eating, then started exercising. I struggled with being chubby my whole life and I likely will be in some way since my parents are too, but dropping some weight and seeing I look different raised my self-esteem slightly and the exercise kind of "stimulated" my mind a bit to be more creative and was able to have fantasies about myself that weren't degrading. I still have slightly kinkyish fantasies that are degrading, but it's usually on the side to spice things up and not exclusive anymore.
No. 270388
>>270384When a guys size isn't ideal I tend to find myself partaking in other kinds of sex and piv slides down the list of importance. Only ever had the opposite problem tbh but toys and oral and just not making piv the 'main event' anymore is my usual cope.
Usually works out alright as long as the guy isn't threatened by toys or dead set on finishing one way.
No. 270405
>>270396Well, it shouldn't be a performance. You probably felt like you had to perform for him, hence it felt unnatural and exhausting. Femdom should be him prioritizing your pleasure and orgasms, serving you, making your life easier. He was probably expecting you to do the whole typical dominatrix scene you see in porn, and there's a reason people get paid for that shit, it's work and not what actual dommes want to do. Despite what idiots online say, submission isn't passive, and dominance doesn't inherently mean active. You can make him do all the work and lie back and reap the rewards, as if you're royalty.
>At the end he said "wow anon, you're 100% non-violent lol".Sounds like the typical lazy bottom who probably just lies there, does nothing, and passes it off as if it was a service to you. Don't worry
nonnie, I will kill him for you.
No. 270701
>>270388We tried oral but honestly it doesn't do it for me, and I have a strong gag reflex, so I can't take him. Plus, he gets to cum earlier than me, and idk if I like that.
Anal isn't an option either, cause none of us like it. Fingering ends up similarly to PiV. Is nice at the beginning, but then I start getting uncomfortable if he gets too deep.
I'm big into BDSM but not only he's a huge vanilla, I also get the feeling he would suck at being a dom. This last point has actually left me frustrated for a while. Last time I was tied was about 5 years, and he would always panic about it.
I have a BadDragon and a vibrator. But the vibrator ends up numbing me instead of stimulating me, and I ended up buying the BadDragon hoping it would make it easier to take his dick. It didn't. And we we used it together, I had to explain to him I don't insert the whole dildo as it is painful, and doesn't feel good. Was hoping he would take a hint from that, and he didn't.
Guess I can try convincing him to do BDSM again. Don't want to live doomed to riding cowgirl all my life.
No. 270738
>>270690>>270701Women should follow this simple rule: if he does not pleasure you and smell nice for you, no sex. Sex is supposed to be a two-way street. Left unchecked, most men just use their partners like a masturbatory aid instead of a living breathing partner who also has sexual needs.
Imo you need to tell him exactly what feels good, what hurts, what "too deep" is, and if he doesn't abide by that, sex ends immediately. He will either do what needs to be done or you will see he doesn't actually give a shit and you should then end the relationship. Don't be desperate and keep someone around who doesn't give a shit about your pleasure.
No. 270739
File: 1655498018812.jpg (36.18 KB, 798x644, EfXCE01UYAA8csO.jpg)
>>270701>BDSM>fem!sub>"he's a huge vanilla">Bad Dragonyou don't deserve orgasms anyway
No. 271798
>>269110anon i have a similar fetish (arguably worse, i wont get into detail) and am managing to reroute it as this
>>269134 anon has suggested. ive been working on changing it for about a year but the imagery associated with my former fetish doesnt "
trigger" me anymore, whereas imagery surrounding the new fetish (good christian orgasm control and male bondage) has started to. ill still slip up and masturbate to old material every once in a while but im also trying to get off porn entirely so those are few and far between and when i do revert to porn i either automatically or force myself to watch material of the new fetish.
i realise this makes me sound like an actual retard but its so relieving not to be turned on by the insane disgusting shit i used to be. you can actually rewire this shit anon.
No. 271909
>>271907You don't say what pill you're on or what day of your cycle you started it on so it's hard to know the risk without those details. Your doc would know.
Is your bf helping with the cost of things like BC and did he help out with the plan b from last week? With your job loss that's alot on your shoulders and ime a good test of whether a guy is worth taking on all this risk and hassle for is whether he tries to pay for or come along to appointments when it comes to birth control and plan b. Get him to step up and help if he's not already.
No. 271930
>>271907>I just lost my job and really can’t afford these kinds of purchases right nowHello you've got boyfriend? You're not responsible on your own for this!
Anyway ask your doc, this is shit you don't wanna bet online strangers' opinions are right.
No. 271999
>>271907A couple of things:
- If you've been taking the pill for a month and you aren't on your sugar pills, you've taken your bc pills every day, you'll be fine. You won't get pregnant.
- The pill is not nearly as reliable as something like the rod or the IUD, which both last years and (in my country at least) works out cheaper than refilling your pill prescription every time it runs out. You'd have a lot more peace of mind if you had a more affective method of BC
No. 272000
>>271925Honestly this is something only a psych would be able to help you work through. If that's not affordable for you, I'd consider getting more in touch with your body (i.e. touching yourself without any visual stimulation, try imagining yourself pleasuring others instead of you as a man)
I'll also say that it's more than ok to not like receiving. With women I exclusively give, mostly for the reason that I need A LOT of stimulation that most people's hands/mouths can't do. So, I've always preferred and derived pleasure from watching other people get off from my doing.
You mentioned purity culture as well, which is something so ingrained that it really can't be undone without lots of reading and professional help. That stuff is instilled in you so young that unpacking it is weighty.
No. 272013
File: 1656155830200.jpg (13.46 KB, 300x272, R-5807702-1403225080-6206.jpg)
So I'm seeing this guy and things are getting more and more heated with every meeting and I have some questions:
- Should I tell him I'm unexperienced in sex?
- When should I tell him I have vaginismus or should I mention it at all? I never had penetrative sex and could never insert a dildo in myself or have a proper gynecological examination. What I'm hoping is that these were just because I wasn't relaxed enough and maybe with him it's going to be different
We had 3 dates so far (we have once a week because we're both busy)and made out heavily on our last one and it scared me a bit as I have never been touched this much in my life kek (he was like reaching into my pants and was fondling my breasts). Is this too fast I wonder? When do people have sex after seeing each other in general?
No. 272125
>>272013You should tell him these things now nona before it goes any further. A good guy will understand and take it slow but if you don't tell him and he is a good guy and he hurts you because he didn't know he will feel bad and that is not how you want to start a sexual relationship.
Make sure you are very wet and relaxed and tell him to start with oral if you are comfortable or just 1 finger and work your way up.
Please do not be afraid to ask him to stop you can always try again another time but hurting yourself will just add trauma and anxiety around sex.
>When do people have sex after seeing each other in general?Honestly this can wildly vary and there is no right answer. I have fucked on the first date and also waited a few dates and honestly fucking earlier usually lead to a longer relationship.
It's whenever you both feel comfortable. If him touching you like that on the last date was moving too fast, tell him that. If you liked it but still don't want to go further than that yet, tell him that.
Don't let anyone tell you that you are moving too fast or too slow not even him. It has to feel right to you.
Communicate and if he isn't communicating find another who will.
No. 272171
>>272013I have it as well
nonnie and sex is still much easier than gyno exams for that exact reason. I usually talk about it at the point you’re at now, keeping it simple and no one has ever had a problem with it. Talking about it and knowing they understand helps a lot, because it takes away the worry that they’ll react badly in the moment and you’ll know you’re both on the same page. Take it slow, get some lube, and don’t put too much pressure on yourself to get there right away
No. 278575
>>278543Focus on what feels good.
I like missionary, my partner normally lifts my hips and I curve and tuck my butt in (like I’m working out) it lets him stimulate my clit when he slides all the way in and he can rub where it feels good inside. This only works with foreplay though because I have to be fully aroused to feel good with penetration.
When having sex it’s a little different from masturbating. When you’re alone you tend to be in one position and it can train your muscles to orgasm like that and can make it hard in other positions.
Take it slow and communicate while you find what you like. Having a partner that listens and wants to make you feel good is important more than anything else. The wrong person and the sex will always be bad
No. 278630
File: 1659119360400.jpeg (102.9 KB, 907x1360, D4ABBC7D-88E6-4EBA-8264-1CCA55…)
Has anyone read this? I have some anxiety and poor body image issues which makes sex not so fun or pleasurable. I’m always in my head worried about how I look, which makes initiating and cumming difficult. I’ve seen several people say this book saved their sex life but I thought I’d ask here since you’re all brutally honest for the most part…
No. 278665
My husband is still suffering from the abuse of his ex wife, and I'm trying so hard to build his confidence.
Like many men he is vain to a certain point, and some days he is quite puffed up and filled with bravado. That doesn't bother me at all, he does it in a very endearing way. However, when I compliment him genuinely he shrugs it off or makes a flippant comment like "Oh that's just the brainwashing taking effect" or respond "Compared to who??" He isn't mean spirited about these comments, he is just so self-deprecating it breaks my heart. In HS he hardly received female attention, if someone was interested he didn't realize it at the time.
Getting to his ex… she was absolutely horrid to him. Abusive and manipulative. Would say things like "If you could just back into your highschool shape, I'd be more attracted to you… you're just a little too heavy for me still." The man was well under 200 pounds, working out regularly and starving due to putting her through law school. When he wrestled he was seven percent body fat, which meant he had to get into a fight every day for hours to maintain that physique. He did finally open up to me about all the horrible fights and her tearing him down every chance she got.
During those moments, and spontaneously, I will hold him and whisper how much I love him. How special he is to me and how attractive I find him. No matter my approach it seems like he doesn't believe my honest words. What else can I do to help the love of my life see himself how I see him? I don't wait for those hard memories to express how I see him. I do so nearly every day when I'm inspired to do so.
No. 278667
>>278543What
>>278575 said. 100%.
Don't focus on making it perfect, or what you've read about or seen in the media. Do what feels good for you both. That's what will lead to great sex. Don't be afraid to communicate or talk while having sex. Sometimes goofy things will happen while in the throes. Laugh it off, have fun and enjoy one another. That's what makes sex wonderful. Also, practice makes perfect.
No. 278673
>>278665If he's this much of a mess over words from a previous wife then he either remarried real quick or he's milking these stories about the mean things his ex said.
I'm trying to be understanding but I've divorced someone after abuse myself and I still can't get him being in this state during a whole new marriage. Not even dating… remarried and hes like this. Will he be telling his next wife every mean thing you ever said to him someday? Sounds like it. Stop babying a grown man.
No. 278715
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>>278581Damn
nonnie, here I thought corn was part of a healthy diet, now you're telling me it causes irreversible brain damage? I have a chowder going as we speak!
No. 278794
>>278718It's been considerably lowered in the past year, but I quit porn about 3 years ago now (with some slip ups but rarely any more). But honestly even sexual content like erotic art doesn't do much for me any longer.
It does coincide with me losing the last 10 lbs due to digestive and sports injury issues. Maybe that last 10 was keeping my hormones horny.
Actually, could no longer lifting weights cause this? I get exercise but no lifting.
>>278777Luckily I always used my imagination alongside porn so this wasn't a huge issue. Helped me quit a bit more easily than people who struggle with visualization.
No. 280084
>>280055Before you go into sex, please sit down and do a kink checklist/bdsm checklist with him about what he wants and what you want. It should take an hour or so. Go over it together, decide what you both want and state in no uncertain terms what you expect from him and what he expects from you.
You should be doing regular meta-talks or checkins to discuss what is and isn't working in the bedroom.
Do you have a safeword? (Both verbal and non-verbal).
A healthy power exchange involves a ton of communication and setting expectations ahead of time of what power you want to give him, and even what power he wants to take.
It sounds like right now there is no communication happening outside of sex and it's making the both of you frustrated, and it's incredibly dangerous to ask him to do impact play/humiliation play without setting some guardrails for the both of you (What if he takes it too far? What if he doesn't know how to use a belt properly?)
BDSM doesn't have to be about pornsickness, or derived from it, but it does have to be done with intention.
No. 280123
>>280084 I completely understand your advice and I agree people can do as they wish but I don't think it's a healthy mentality to ask him to act that way like other people have said.
>>280117 >>280068 We talked about it before, he told me he could never lay a hand on me because he couldn't live having hurt someone. Him and his sibling were beaten as children by his mom. I was assaulted by a relative as a child. I think at this stage he has matured from his experience and he wants to better himself. I don't feel like I've grown from my experience. I don't know why or how to get better.
No. 280513
>>280084lmaooo fucking hell nothing makes my pussy drier than the thought of a ~kink checklist~ or any of this corny formalized bdsm shit.
At absolute best, bdsm is lame and cringy. At worst, it's
abusive and degrading. The only advice worth taking on it is: get better taste. This goes 1000x time over for 'submissive' women.