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Heather Sparkles is a grown adult woman who insists on airing her dirty laundry about her divorce to the internet, using her online following as a hugbox and personal army to defend her against her meanie husband (who is trying to repair their marriage) and all of her friends and family (who are only on husband's side because they hate her
and are trying to manipulate her). She has been publicly melting down since October 2018.
Heather Sparkles is a 28-year-old vintage toy collector on Instagram and YouTube. She has 21k subscribers on YouTube and had 9k followers on Instagram, before she deleted it (Instagram is now back up). She posts pictures/videos of her toy collection, films herself talking about them, does toy reviews of modern toys that companies send her, and generally has an innocent, drama-free existence on the internet, albeit a pretty childish one. That is, until these past few months, as she's decided she's been living a lie and now is "dropping the act." She's been uploading more lifestyle content as of late, which some of her subscribers (likely children just trying to watch videos about toys) are not taking well to. She has responded to the negativity by removing individual comments, turning off comments on certain videos, removing videos after hours of being online, declaring she's taking a break from social media for her mental health (and then returning less than a week later), venting on snapchat, and deleting her social media accounts. She has also radically changed her style in a matter of weeks, going from frumpy pastel "fairy-kei" to even frumpier black and gray normie clothes, and back again. This meltdown seems to stem from her divorce from her husband Adam, which she announced first on snapchat (and then deleted within a few hours).
She has stated in many videos that she has no friends in real life (despite evidence to the contrary) and that she treats online interactions as friendships. Her desperate pleas for attention across her social media platforms attest to her social ineptitude and her dire need for face-to-face human interaction, rather than the shallow conversations and compliments she seeks on the internet to shield herself from the reality of her divorce.
Here's a list of things she's done that were either cringey, funny, or related to her meltdown.
>Mentions "big changes" and "dark times" in her videos for months, never gets into specifics>Ate rotten fruit on camera, pretended to like it>Buys a $900 DSLR camera that she has no idea how to use for her YouTube channel in September>Less than a month later says she's thinking of quitting YouTube after vlogmas>Still doesn't know how to use the new camera in low lighting, uses her old camera>At the beginning of October says she's taking a break from all social media accept YouTube for the month, is back on Instagram and makes a snapchat within two weeks>Uploads a haul video of new clothes that are radically different in style to what she normally wears, says this is her "true self" and that she felt silly in the pastels>Still wears cat ears in nearly every video>Shows lingerie in clothing haul video and talks about how she feels "super sexy" to her underage viewers>Posts more lingerie footage to snapchat>Uploads a "what I eat in a day" video and removes it the same day after getting one negative comment and then disabling comments>Has Twitter meltdown, deletes Twitter: "You do something that upsets people so you apologize, and then other people get upset at you for apologizing">Announces her divorce on snapchat and deletes it within a few hours>Says she's been "madly in love with someone" (who I'll refer to as "mystery guy"), posts cringey snaps lip-syncing to love songs>Posts about her divorce on Instagram and deletes it within a day>Spends days talking about all the clothes she'll be selling on depop because she desperately needs money even though she just dropped hundreds on a camera she can't use and might stop trying to use in the near future, rather than getting a job>Posts video titled "I've Hit Rock Bottom" in which she waxes on vaguely about her personal problems, how she's an "oversharer" on social media, is only doing snapchat and YouTube now, mentions "missed opportunity" that her actions caused her to lose>Says that when something negative happens in your life, it's just a result of negative energy you're putting out and it's the universe sending you a message that you need to change (wonder if she'll think that about this thread?)>Less than a day after the video, says she regrets it and might delete it because she's lost subscribers (even though she keeps saying she doesn't care and will post whatever she wants to her channel)>Uses chocolate and video games to avoid her problems>"Spills all the tea" on snapchat: posts details of divorce, how she met the "love of her life" at an event, Facebook meltdown that lead to mystery guy getting threats and being told to never talk to her, Adam forced her to have a ten-hour stay in mental facility and also supposedly has her phone "bugged" so he can track her movements and delete contacts. Deletes snaps within an hour.>Has saved up lots of money to go on date with mystery guy, but now that she's given up on him, she's spending it on this new guy instead>Goes on a date with new guy (with tattoos?) from tinder, hooks up on first date >Goes on date with tinder guy, out to dinner, goes back to his place to watch youtube, Adam and a mutual friend show up banging on the window (tracker on her phone), Heather and tinder guy calls cops, Adam and mutual friend leave after Adam tells tinder guy that Heather's bipolar and he needs to stay away from her>Verbally jerks herself off on snapchat: "Sorry honey, my glow up is here and it's not for you" "Where did this vixen come from?">Says "I've Hit Rock Bottom" video was made only to impress mystery guy and show him that she's changed and has calmed down>Keeps posting videos of her checking herself out in the mirror: "I am turning into one cutie" "I know I'm not supposed to be full of myself, but if you knew the life I had you'd understand">"I'm ready to tell it all to you, I don't even care, I have no one to impress">"Spills tea" yet again, almost the same spiel as last time but also included Adam in this one. Kept pointing camera at him, saying she'll never trust him again, she still wants a divorce, forcing him to apologize and confess on snapchat>Says she doesn't want to out mystery guy, but she says his first name is Ryan. With some digging, I found out mystery guy is youtuber Ryan Snefsky. She shared one of his motivational videos on her facebook page before the meltdown began>"Everyone that's ever met me has seen something special in me and they've tried to break me">She keeps lip-syncing the same two songs (Heaven and thank u, next), doesn't know the words
I stopped maintaining this running list about two weeks ago.
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Her husband posted these on his instagram story today
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His twitter rant
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Something her husband posted about a month ago. He claims to want to keep this stuff offline, but then posts things like this about it. He's a bit of a cow too imo. I'm not sure which one is telling the truth in all this. I'm sure both are lying to a great degree.
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Possibly lied about who she went on the exploration with
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Pathetic husband trying to gain her favor on twitter
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Last thing I have: this funny picture of her when she was 17 (she deleted this pretty rapidly)
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She went to a furry convention this year and vlogged it. This is her fursona.
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Looks like someone else has seen through her act.
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The person she blocked. I'm surprised she hasn't deleted these comments yet.
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"I watched as my wife had sex with another man"
…. did this guy seriously just follow her to her bootycall's house and peep on them fucking? bc, thats creepy, yo. like this guy seems like a total fuckin' creep that he is trying to "save his marriage" by clinging to a woman who clearly has no intentions of ever being faithful to him. let her go, dude.
He seems incredibly manipulative to me. I can understand being devestated by the end of a relationship and not wanting to just let go but he's trying REALLY hard to sound like the good guy here. Her cheating is enough to show that she fucked him over but he wants to sound like her amazing knight in shining armor who won't give up on her no matter what. Even as she's kicking and screaming and trying him to fuck off.
Frankly, it makes me question if he really is abusive to some extent as she claims, he seems like the type to be very passive aggressive and guilt-trippy.
I agree. I would buy that he’s emotionally abusive. That particular brand of manipulation where he waxes on about what a terrible person she is and what a good, loving, virtuous person he is for just putting up with her. Telling her she can’t divorce him due to her financial dependence on him. Making himself look like a saint for staying with her when she clearly 100% does not want that at all.
Him going public with all of it definitely makes him a cow, as well. I wouldn’t doubt that she’s in a manic state right now, with all of the weird, off-brand, conceited, impulsive shit she’s doing to sabotage her own image. But if it’s her vs this slimy cuckhold, I’m Team Sparkles.
I will drink to Team Sparkles, anon. Maybe cheating was her attempt at getting divorce papers for Christmas? Or maybe he took back the ok to sleep with other people because he wasn't catching any fish.
If her financial dependence is because he insists on paying for everything and won't even let her get her phone in her name that could even explain why she's having a crazy spiral disaster online.
OP here, I agree that the husband is super manipulative and has probably been genuinely emotionally abusive throughout the entire marriage. If you watch some of her old videos with him in it, it's clear that they grate on each other's nerves. She's made comments like "oh you guys just don't understand how Adam and I are to each other" but I always saw through those as weak attempts at hiding their issues.
The original post definitely reads as pro-husband, I'm seeing that now. I mostly just wanted to point out the flaws in her logic and how she's been treating him throughout all this, because it certainly isn't good.
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Dude, SHE DOESN'T LOVE YOU. Move on. Stop being a controlling piece of shit.
After seeing this I have to say I really, really see a lot more truth in Heather's side. He says the "marriage was stable until August" when you could visibly tell in vlogs dating over a year back their relationship wasn't great. Their chemistry was extremely uncomfortable, this guy had some amount of disdain for what Heather liked and was always stand offish with her and to the camera. Seeing how he's reacted to her leaving this time I can't imagine how many times she probably tried to leave before and he manipulated her into staying with the usual "I'll change" bullshit these dudes do.
"We got over an argument over wanting to see other people" means "she tried to break up with me and I made it clear she was not allowed to escape, so she lashed out like any cornered person would"
This guy is a piece of shit. The fact he even called the police on her in the first place in that situation. God speed Heather, hope you break free of this fucking cunt.
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Keep digging your hole, Adam.
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the husband keeps mentioning that he wants to start a youtube channel. could the marriage drama just be some way to generate interest for his future youtube channel?
Nah, if anything I think it's just yet another way this guy is showing Heather "wherever you go, I'll find you"
She needs to get out of there asap. I fully believe everything she has said about him after reading what HE HIMSELF has written.
I think that's the worst part too. Afaik they were already together back when she was in California and that was at least five years ago. Yeah she's 28 or whatever (yikes!) but how long has he been treating her like a naughty child? Does he even let her do any basic adult function things?
Also how disgusting, he insists on kissing her on the forehead when she's sick like it's a gift and brags about it? She doesn't want you dude. Don't kiss people who don't want you. What kind of shitstain.
I miss her old videos because the Sparkles thing is a cute angle and some of it was lulzy, and some was nostalgic. Sister had some of those toys, kinda nice to see they still exist somewhere. But I don't think he's going to let her grow up OR get away.
They both lived in CA at some point, I think it was before she got into vlogging. He's from there. I remember a bunch of drama in the doll hobby about one of their disasters chasing her out of the fanbase, and some cow gloating about how Heather could never come back.
I only really remember because that one had someone tattling on Kiwifarms a year or two ago. But Heather used to sell dolls on her Instagram. Her old videos on Youtube have them.
I honestly think this guy would have been like this very shortly after they started dating and just got more and more intense with it as it progressed. That's usually how these guys go. It's hard to notice it at first. "I love you SO MUCH, more than anyone ever could! That's why I want to be with you 24/7!" and it just spins out of control from there. If this was Heather's first serious relationship (which I imagine it could be due to how young she was when she started it) she'd be especially vulnerable to these types of men. The fact he's not only forcing physical contact on her (especially something as intimate as kissing her forehead) but parading that fact publicly really makes me worry for Heather's overall safety. I really enjoyed Heather's videos and I will continue to enjoy them, so long as she escapes this man. If she stays with him I won't be able to bring myself to look at her again. Like watching an abused circus animal or something.
To any ladies reading this, especially the younger ones: pushing your boundaries, no matter how "nice" it appears, is never alright. If he's doing it in a small way now, he'll be doing it in a big way a year later. Take my word.
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Lol maybe he did, actually. >>739272
this post and this >>739284
response catch my eye. The "ewww periods" thing makes me think this is a retarded man then getting passive and humble with the response after being called out by >>739283
Not only the period thing, but this quote >he mentions how Adam will get a lot of fan girls for his Walking Dead cosplay (Which any time he goes to a convention he always dresses up as that guy?
with a link to one of her random videos is really specific. Why would any anon care that he always dresses up as some walking dead character at a convention? And the unsure question marks after the remarks are suspicious too.>she tells Adam to calm down?>he always dresses up as that guy?
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diff anon but i'll add that this post >>738798
is a candidate for his vendettaposting too.
first of, what does it have to do with anything from the thread? it's very nitpicky. and the description is odd, too ("this funny picture").
ALSO the fact that OP keeps talking about having aaaaalll these snapchat vids and stuff (here >>738779
…and they don't post them or link them in any way, they're only descriptions of them (which we can't corroborate, so we have to take OP's word for it). according to OP, they've """accidentally deleted""" ONE of the snap story videos >>738792
, which they proceed to describe in detail anyway. where are the rest of the videos OP? you didn't mention "accidentally" deleting THOSE, so why not post them?
and they SURE seem to have extensive screenshots and proof of the hubby's twitter rant and ig posts.
I checked the comments mentioned in >>739394
, all the dubious comments were posted by Farmers.
In the future, please use the report system or use sage rather than bumping the thread with speculation.
I saged my initial tinfoil, didn't I? Thanks farmhand for the clarification.
Either way, these bitches be crazy. She's obviously very unstable and he can't deal with it without manipulating her. And vice versa.
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Your initial post was fine, I was referring to >>739430
. No worries.>>739453>>738779
Dropbox should do the trick, but please make sure to summarize the content of the videos.
Most people going through divorce after spending their whole life with someone they started dating before they even developed their identity have an embarrassing second puberty, unfortunately it's further amplified by the mania and how she has a public platform to overshare it on. She needs go get out so she can move on with her life. >>739161>muh twisted random mind>what should I call my fans?
I'm sure the truth isn't all cut and dried, but I'll take team bipolar Sparkles over this self-aggrandising narc any day
I can’t lie, despite how complicated these situations are, if she doesn’t end up leaving him I’ll be pretty disappointed. The majority of anons saw what a scumbag this guy is and took her side. If the rest of the internet could see the same, she could drum up support and her channel might pick up enough interest for her to be self-sufficient.
She might fuck it up in a spectacular bipolar shitshow, but at least she would do so as an independent woman sans shitty egotistical mouth-breather.
Hear hear anon! Well said!
Someone might be a cow, but being put in legit bad situations isn't healthy for said cow. Best milk and cream comes from a thriving beast who can do what they want.
Exactly this. It seems like every time she tries to get out, some disaster happens that could be either self-sabotage or Adam-sabotage.
She's a cow for sure but, I mean, how do you move on from abuse without a support structure? There's going to be a dozen Adams that sound sweet until they stop getting their way, and she's obviously in a state where she'd grasp anything she can reach. If she gets out will she even get out somewhere safe? Her family's out of the picture, or I'm sure she'd have moved back in long ago.
She's always been very open about the fact she was married up until recently. >All while living with me, on my dime.
What happened to it being "our" home, SirOcelot? "Our" life, "our" income? Because it's not "our" its yours and it always has been. Let her go for fuck sake.
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Well Heather, you know what you gotta do.
I hope he's serious about this and she cheats again to finish this off. >I'm not a cruel person
He absolutely is. Surely Heather would be eligible for some sort of crisis support or disability due to her mental health problems? Something she could use to get her out of that house at least
It's definitely thinking it won't work. From her side of things, he's kept her dependent enough on him for irl things that she can only turn to the Internet, but the Internet isn't safe because he follows her everywhere.
I had one friend she'd kept on Snap, but it looks like she either purged strangers or her friends list. Shame, I'd add her to recommend the Gofundme thing, but Gofundme needs information that shows up publicly where Adam might see it. I think there are similar services, especially for women trying to escape abusive shitlords.
Whatever Adam is going to do he's going to do it whether she tries a gofundme or not. I honestly think she's starting to believe his lies that she has no case against him (when she really, really does, his own tweets have incriminated him to fuck)
I think Adam is in her ear whispering "You're just embarrassing yourself with this, delete all these people from your Snapchat"
Also how do we even know it was HEATHER that deleted people from her Snap? How do we know it wasn't actually ADAM who went on her phone and did it? He's mentioned her Snapchat a few times and clearly hates her being on it. Would not put it past him to go on her phone and delete people he feels like.
I don't use Snapchat, but the friend who was on her list said basically the same as >>739954
. It gives the option to send a friend request, but I think she might've axed the entire account if the bitmoji thing is gone. I think that shows up if you have an account at all.
But I agree, apparently Adam tells her all the time that there are spies, which makes her suspicious of everyone. So she might have deleted people, or he might've deleted people.
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I think she's added "I'm a mess" since yesterday.
Saging my little sperg here, but I'm a little irrationally angry at the highlighter in the middle of her fucking face. The whole look screams "I'm a mess" but that really triggers
>"We're gonna have a deep talk now">Spent a month talking to a guy online, stayed up late with him, he was "always coaching" her>He picked apart everything she did or said, tried to change her social media>She was so in love with him and wanted to impress him so she did what he suggested>Meeting him made her want to hasten the divorce>He would "ghost" her and then watch her on social media to see how she was reacting>She found out he turned everyone she knew against her, tried to get her 302'd>He received death threats from some people who found out who he was>Thinks he turned everyone in her life against her "just to get his jollies">Heather says she wants to make a video talking about this>He apparently reached out to her as a "psychiatrist-like figure">Met a new guy on Tinder after all this who would text her nice things, helped her move on from manipulative guy>Friends are apologetic for trying to get her 302'd, said they were manipulated by this guy too>Her content going downhill for two months was because of the manipulating>Says she's not going to out him, doesn't give a shit anymore>"Screw you Ryan. You're disgusting, and I hate you. Bye.">She wasn't able to make money in October because of this situation, so now she says she's going to stock her Depop and try livestreaming for money>"I know I'm a trainwreck but I hope I've been entertaining">@14:40 Adam comes in to explain his side of the story>Heather has PTSD from some event in her past, and has OCD and anxiety because of it. Manipulative guy tried to convince Adam that Heather in fact had bipolar disorder and that she needed to be hospitalized>Instead of contacting Adam directly, guy contacts a mutual friend named Ashley and says that Heather is sick and has either borderline or bipolar>Since Heather is anti-med, guy told Adam to have her 302'd ("72-hour hold where they give her medicine. As the medicine enters her system, she will be more clear-headed")>Heather spent ten hours in a "small white room with a piss stained mattress">Went in a confident woman, came out completely broken down>Guy gave Adam specific instructions on how to present screenshots of Heather's conversations to the therapist>Adam asks if Heather can forgive him, Heather says she can't>Adam rests his head on her shoulder, she tells him to get off of her>"I will never forgive any of you">"I'm alone in this world. Aside from the sparkle fam, who can I trust?">"I'm going to get out of here, I never want to see anyone in my life ever again after I get out, I'll never be able to trust anyone again">Adam says he is willing to tell Heather's therapist about everything that happened>"I'm not happy, sad, happy, sad, I go from 'I just have to accept things' to 'I don't wanna accept things anymore'">"You can try to blame Ryan all you want, but at the end of the day, you and my friends are the ones that chose to do this to me">Adam defends himself, says that he was misled, Heather doesn't accept it>Adam: "We thought this guy was a professional and we wanted to get you help">Heather: "Help for what? Because I wanted to leave you">Says she won't have friends after this, doesn't want to get close to anyone or think about boys>"Do you have any final words to say after ruining my life?" "I love you." "And?" "And I'm sorry for everything that happened. You should've never been committed, that stuff should never have been given to your therapist, and I'm very sorry baby.">Apparently Adam introduced Heather to people by saying she's bipolar>Was suicidal in her teens>She grew up depending on people>Will never be married again>Ends video with pep talk, says she's more confident than ever>"A strong woman is one of the scariest things in the world to some people and it's so funny"
Here's the first and longest story I recorded. I think the summary does a decent job at addressing key points but it doesn't cover everything. It's 38 minutes long, but I'd recommend at least watching the parts with Adam. He spends the whole time trying to look as innocent and apologetic as possible and Heather is having none of it.
I have three more videos, but uploading them and writing summaries takes a long time so I'm not sure when I'll have time to post them.
My apologies for the out of sync audio. I don't think any of the other videos have that issue.
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saging for irrelevance but im >>739272
i dont really post to lolcow much im more of a lurker actually! (i like to lurk the artists threads when i have free time in particular!) ive just been following heather for awhile now (my sibling introduced me to heather and they were following her for a longer amount of time than i was they also lurk lolcow)
im actually a girl i just find period talk gross personally haha didnt know that was off putting? anyways back to lurking for me!
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Or an anon who keeps seeing this thread bumped with unsaged bs and its another case of 'Save the mentally deficient girl who was a cow but now is a damsel in distress cause shes with a shitty person that nulls out all cow like behaviour even tho part of what makes her a cow is her complete lack of judgement skills and dependency to social mediaaa'
The guy can choke and die too idc but these shit tier threads thats 90% saviour complex need to die. Tinfoil in OT.
See there goes the saviour complex, cause you stretch what is clearly an example as an abrupt statement.
Her toy money, her flea market money, all this money wasted on frivilous ass things including a fucking yt career(bitch be a greeter at wallmart u get more money and actual company to write on ur resume) of all shitty decisions, when she could have done anything else to help herself and the fucking shit shes in.
Shes seems co-dependent like her husband, wether that be the drama, scared of being alone, being emotionally retarded, they are both absolute drama lamas.
the PULL level ass eating is obnoxious and if you think one lacks empathy for finding this pearl clutching and arm chairing totally embarassing and out of touch then you live in a very cruel world. A sneeze of mental health issues don't compensate for your inability to be self sufficient (thats why we got inpatient or idk actually be in legit therapy for starters while also WANTING to get good) or own a back bone, its even harder to believe she wants one considering other anons have seen her act like a flake through her whole internet history. v a l i d a t i o n.
I will say it again I do not defend nor care for the husband because lol he is a degenerate but this whole thread is a weird echo chamber of conspiracies and saying y'all basically wanna pay for her to get out and get fixed. (Saviour compleeeeeex)
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>Can anyone talk sense into her
Idk man, you're a key contributor to her being convinced that nobody will ever be her friend, with the isolating and controlling and pushing people away. Why would she trust anyone coming to bat for this guy?
That said, I'm horrified that anyone is listening to him. And I used to keep tabs on her because the drama was funny. This is a guy who encouraged her to get into fad diets and into communities he knew she would either get booted from or feel ostracized from, or couldn't afford, because it helped keep her under his thumb. The vegan thing, the disordered eating, the anti-medication thing, the psychiatry is evil bullshit, the sparklefur with a persecution complex, all of that loses all of the amusement knowing that this manipulative scumlord feeds it. Her brief turnaround after she found out from her therapist that she wasn't at risk of getting locked up if she breathed wrong sounds like she's wanted therapy all along and he fed her anxiety, because even embellished by Heather, literally any therapist would be able to see a pattern. If anons can see he's full of shit from a rampage on twitter, the therapist is a total conflict of interests for him.
U mad? No one is saying she’s not a cow. That doesn’t mean she isn’t mentally ill and in an abusive relationship.>That’s why we got inpatient or therapy.
Those things are a luxury that cost a lot of money, which is strictly regulated by her abusive husband. But in >>740366
you said “spend money on a lawyer instead of pink hair dye,” like the $10k for a divorce lawyer is comparable to a $8 bottle of Splat. Like >>740850
said, you’re either really stupid or really young.
You DO realize that all forms of abuse isn't just black/white and that abusers aren't movie villains that twirls their mustache trying to figure out how to hurt their partner next? There is a reason that people stay with their abusers, and that is because they aren't mean all the time so you tell yourself that everything is fine and it's normal behavior. That is a part of the control and manipulation that goes into abusive relationships.
Not saying their relationship is 100% abusive, they're probably both toxic on each end, but I just get so tired when people don't understand how complex abusive relationships are and how hard it is to get out of them.
You still seem to struggle grasping the basic concept of mental abuse. I assume you're either extremely young or just a fucking idiot. Buying someone a toy does not undo the pain (emotional or otherwise) you've inflicted on them. >>740867
It fucking sicks me out seeing people support HIM in this. >>740844
Right, so you've now suggested she goes back in time to unspend all those $3 shopping spees she's had at Goodwill to pay for a lawyer she should have predicted she would need. There is no "pearl clutching" or "arm chairing", this is a woman who is literally in an ongoing abusive relationship. You'd have a fucking heart attack if you saw what they Lainey threads used to be like.
>a sneeze of mental health issues
Firstly, she clearly has severe issues as she devotes her life to collecting old toys and fixating on them. That isn't exactly normal behaviour. Two, how the fuck do you know?! If she hides all her symptoms from social media you say she has a "sneeze" (lol) of mental health issues, but if any of it bleeds out you call her a child airing her laundry to the public. How the fuck would she get to therapy? She can't drive, she can't afford taxis, and her captor will not let her go. She also can't afford it. If you have such a problem with this thread existing stop posting and go elsewhere.
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This guy is the true cow.
I dont believe in astrology but its obvious LOL SATURN isnt the only reason she would want to leave him. If she gets her strength from believing in this mumbo jumbo, then more power to her. I hope she can get out of this situation and get some help.
Its fucked up he was able to gaslight her friends and family into thinking shes the problem and not him.
Its obvious to me this guy is abusive. But heres some highlights Ive pulled from an article "Domestic Abuse Warning Signs"
>Your partner bullies, threatens, or controls you:>Accuses you of having an affair>Blames you for abuse>Criticizes you>Tells you what to wear and how you should look
>Your partner controls your money:>Keeps cash and credit cards from you>Puts you on an allowance and makes you explain every dollar you spend>Keeps you from working whatever job you want
>Your partner cuts you off from family and friends:>Keeps close tabs on where you go and whom you go with>Makes you ask for an OK to see friends and family>Embarrasses you in front of others, and it makes you want to avoid people
He checks off too many of these for this to be a healthy relationship. And these are just the ones that are aired publicly. Who knows if he physically or sexually abuses her
Of course relationships like these cause a slew of mental health problems for the victim, so no wonder Heather lashes out and has issues. I've seen her around but I've never followed her, so I'm not sure what her milk actually is.
So much infighting about who is in the wrong. Am I the only one who things they are both nuts?
Since a lot of this has been (rightfully) focused on her shitty husband, what about Heather's milk? There is something incredibly off with her. She talks in a very rambling, unstructured, self-centered way and also appears to be incredibly superficial and pretentious (even when she was "ugly and fat"). She seems to have an identity crisis ever couple of months and after spending hundreds to thousands on specific hobbies or fashions, she then ditches them for a new identity. She also seems like either a mild hoarder or as though she is handling possible mental issues in a harmful, destructive way. If you look at some of her old videos, she apparently had a lot of drama in her old BJD hobby. Now she is having drama with her local(?) youtuber community as well as issues with dating people. Just watching how she reflects on the guy who she thought was "the love of her life" after a couple of months shows that she has a very skewed perception of reality. She is really messy and unable to keep her shit in check, which is why I am wondering if she is at least on the spectrum.
I'm not sure how true this is since it was an anon itt who brought this up, but not being able to drive is not an excuse for not getting a job. She is putting all of her eggs in the YT basket (not just financially but also for friendships/attention) which is incredibly irresponsible, especially for someone at her age. It is pretty clear she that is super codependent and not wanting or willing to be her own person, despite rambling about how no one will keep her down.
Whatever is happening in her relationship, she is not handling things well. I don't know the details about her family, but there ARE resources if you are in an abusive relationship. Her husband is a power hungry narc. But, she is mooching off of him instead of trying to be an independent adult. If she stays with him at this point, it will be very telling about what kind of person she is. She HAS to learn to be her own person. If she has been piddling about wanting a divorce for ages, why isn't she just doing it? She could always go to a women's shelter to at least get out of the house and try a staffing agency to get a job.
IDK people saying they want to do a gofundme and shit is really weird when her choices are what landed her in this position. Something is totally off with her and while sympathizing with an abuse victim makes complete sense, this who situation with the both of them reads as each side is toxic.
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Weird flex. Also Heather doesn't have a bank card.
Good god, why does he keep posting personal shit like this? Let it go, dude.
>As much as I want to be a douche
Wow, this says everything about him. He's already being one and has been which is why she doesn't want you anymore, man.
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He's just so weird. The way he talks about her channel like he's in charge of it. I hope she can and does get out of this marriage. I kind of wonder if he's trying to start drama so that he can build his following through it all. If she leaves, no one will know of him or care about him.
I don't think he particularly cares about getting a following, I think he only cares about taking them away from Heather, even if that means he has to lead them away from her. It's why he was posting about making a youtube video too. It is nothing more than to show Heather he will invade every space she has. >>742162
Good job idiot, the archive doesn't work and the post has been deleted.
Is he religious?
This is the same method used by a lot of creepy religious men to try to trap their wives into staying despite the emotional and sometimes physical abuse.
He claims to be an atheist, but I would be willing to bet it's something he picked up from finding reasons to attack religious people. >>742234
I think he's making a point about how much control he has over her life. It could read either way, like "who even WANTS to see Heather do this creepy edgelord thing" or "hey who wants to see it so I can exploit it / immediately make it not fun for her."
If she's holed up in her room with the tinsel recording, he's not part of it other than being oh-so-gracious about paying for the apartment he signed for. He probably edited some of her videos at some point and thinks anything she's done on her own since then is proof she needs him. But if she went exploring and looking for ghosts and shit like that, he has to be her ride, he won't let her sneak off somewhere abandoned without him where she can get hurt or escape.
I mean, I'm married too, but you just described several things that are either common sense or that very, very clearly don't apply to these chucklefucks. If my wife told me she wanted to go to an abandoned building to explore and film, I would worry about exactly those hazards, and if we went it would be with a group, and I wouldn't silently let her play up the danger for views - because there's no way her Youtube revenue would cover medical bills if she got hurt. I sure as hell wouldn't go on a Twitter tantrum about not getting adequate credit for filming her doing stupid things, especially if I were in Adam's position, where he's also telling the Internet how crazy she is. If she's having some kind of mental break, I wouldn't be her ride to an abandoned place to film edgelord clickbait.
>Being married means each party is responsible to look out for the others’ welfare.
While this is a true statement, the fact that this thread went from Heather being a lolcow to her 30s-whatever husband being a manipulative abusive douche more or less makes the statement not apply.
Her marriage is obviously toxic. Read literally any of the caps from either of them. You don't cheat on someone in a healthy marriage, you don't refuse to divorce someone who asks, and you don't stalk your spouse to watch them cheat on you with some Tinder guy in a healthy marriage. She's not doing things that are levelheaded or rational, because she's not only not in control of her own finances (see above, no bank card) but she's not in control of her life. If she thinks the only way she can make any money is appealing to the "sparkle fam", of course she's going to spend the peanuts Youtube gives her on instant gratification shit, because that's literally all she knows how to do. This is a girl who can't even drive or keep her phone private.
Sorry I'm dumb, what does SCO and KF mean?
Also sage next time.
basically buying advertising to boost it in searches
And KF is Kiwifarms, it's part of lolcows
Kiwifarms is not part of lolcow.farm.
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Well that's awkward.
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more news at 11
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get your small dick away from my best friend loser
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this dude is such a creep
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hes like 33 out here trying to play with younger womens minds but in reality adam is just a desperate creeper with a tiny penis
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He frequently posts "Heather shit" on his Facebook, which is really fucking annoying to the point of me snoozing him on there. I don't understand because one day it's complaining about how lonely he is and how he wants to move on, then the next moment he's talking about how he wishes things could be how they were a few months ago when they were so in love, and that he's going to win her back. I'm really close to unfriending the dude, but he barely shows up in my feed as it is.
Is your friend that person who messaged Adam on Twitter? Emily or something?
What's your friend's opinion of him now? Have you shown her the thread? Tbh the fact that she is talking about being in a relationship with Adam even though she's "rooting for him and Heather" doesn't exactly make her look great. Add that to her thinking that it's totally fine for a married dude to go from strangers to long distance relationship material in a matter of days, and she's not seeming like the brightest.
I apologize for deleting my post and reposting. I had more to add and didn't see that I had been replied to.
I would agree with you. I would chalk that up to her obvious lack of social skills. She latches on to anyone who pays attention to her.
We were close, but she never really seemed to want to open up to me, even when I showed concern. Her response was to block me even though I told her I was worried. That doesn't feel like something one does to their best friend.
I believe I am one of the people she's referring to, yes. I don't know how many other people she could be referring to, but a handful at least.
I can only speak for myself because I don't know her other friends as well, but I certainly was never abusive in any way towards her. She seemed very sensitive and I took that into account with her.
I've accepted that we won't ever be friends again. As long as she believes that we have to apologize to her for what was going on (which is what I get from her saying she'll never forgive us) tells me that she's not taking responsibility for her actions.
Do you know anything about this Ryan guy that she and Adam are blaming for manipulating everyone? I was under the impression that she was blocking the people involved with that whole fiasco, but it sounds like you were removed from that situation.
I'm sorry, but who posts cryptic statuses implying that they might soon be homeless and then blocks people who reach out to them about it? I'm sorry you were met with that reaction from her. It really does seem like she doesn't treat her friends very well, or at least that she throws the term "friend" around very lightly.
If that was her cry for help, and anon reached out to help her, how exactly is anon the bad guy in this situation?
Suggesting that a friend seek psychological help when they seem mentally off isn't a bad thing at all. If anything, that makes them a better friend for noticing and caring that much instead of encouraging Heather to continue her life damaging behavior.
I do not know who Ryan is, but I assumed he was another Youtuber she had linked to once. It wasn't too hard to piece together, but outside of that I don't know anything about him.
From the sounds of it, they want to blame everyone except themselves for their problems.
Heather said and her husband admitted that the Ryan guy was manipulating them and other friends of hers and pretending to be some type of therapist qualified to determine whose unstable and who isn't. They were getting her friends involved and making a file of selected messages she sent and trying to tell her therapist, who she was forced to go to, that she had this problem the Ryan guy was pushing. Seeing as how her husband seems to also be a creepy and controlling guy, I'd believe it when she said on snapchat that he followed this guys instruction to to get her medicated and how that will somehow save the marriage.
She went over board with too much posting but also ended up being really paranoid because she had no idea who to trust since her husband was using her friends, and apparently fans and family, against her. She has issues already, she said she pretended everything was fine with the marriage which is why her friends would side with the husband on what he said if she acted different. Anon had good intentions but seeing as how the situation was blocking people she thought were involved was the choice that made the most sense to her.
I'm going to be 100% frank here: I have not posted to this forum yet. Until now, obviously. I was given a link to this page by a "friend" who has since deleted me from Facebook and Instagram. This may give away who I am, but I'm honestly tired of the drama and don't care.
I was friends with both Heather and Adam. We met at a convention earlier this year. Heather and I had talked through Instagram and decided to meet up. We hit it off immediately and even hung out a couple of times after.
I never picked up on anything being wrong. I did notice that she required a lot of validation from strangers (followers and subscribers) but I figured that was just the side effect of YouTube being her only real outlet.
Everything was fine until she started to post strange statuses to Facebook. Naturally, I was worried. I sent her a message, but only after Adam had contacted me. He told me his side of things, okay fine. I messaged Heather after and told her that maybe seeking a therapist was a good idea, but that I was available to talk whenever she needed. It sounded like a good idea at the time. This was before I knew anything about her infatuation with Ryan, and I did meet the man once, but there was no way he could manipulate or influence me because I didn't know him outside of the one time we met.
Instead of responding to me, she blocked me.
It was late, so I went to bed. The following morning, I got a phone call from Adam. I won't go into detail, but I even told him I wasn't picking a side. Heather was my friend. Adam was my friend. I was getting dragged into a mess that I wanted nothing to do with.
This all happened a week after I offered to give Heather driving lessons, because she sounded like she wanted to finally take on some real adult responsibilities and I was so excited for her that I wanted to help.
Adam was the only one I had contact with after this. I tried to contact Heather, but she was clearly done with me. Still, I wasn't bashing her or Adam. Adam would vent to me, yes, but that was it. I was there to listen because the whole situation seemed really messed up from all sides, but I had very little input. I honestly wanted zero to do with it.
As stated before, I was given this link by someone who I am apparently no longer friends with because, like Heather, she has deleted me on everything. I read through the comments back then and honestly thought it was interesting to read all these different perspectives.
I haven't watched her videos and I can't follow her on social media since she has me blocked. All I know is what mutual friends have been telling me, but I've told them all not to bother me about it anymore. It sounds like Heather is sabotaging her friendships and I wish she wouldn't. If she leaves Adam, these friendships will be all that she has, but she choosing to burn bridges instead of mending them. I cant say that I'll ever be her friend again, but I hope she gets help where she needs it and that her friends and followers encourage her to do some real self-reflecting.
Christmas is a bit in the way, and I'm hesitant to show screencaps of DMs because it's obvious who they're coming from, and honestly I think I'm blocked on Facebook by both parties so my name would be the only one visible. Either way, I'm sure they're both watching this thread, so it won't be hard for either of them to guess who I am. We were friends for years, although I mostly fell out of contact with Heather around 2015 or so.
But anyway, I can confirm Adam will make any excuse possible to get seen as totally harmless while trying to get nudes out of people he calls friends and, according to Heather, this is something he used against her. Which might explain some of her paranoia, because if their shared friends are doing things she finds intimate with him/things she wouldn't be comfortable sharing with anyone, then it does seem like validating her fears. Heather and I have different views on nudity that won't ever match up, but as a result she and I didn't talk about this kind of thing much.
I was tight on money for a while and was talking about doing pinups and that kind of thing for extra cash, because I knew a handful of women who did that kind of thing and the bar is not that high. People will pay for videos of women stepping on fruit in slowmo barefoot. Since Adam played up the harmless and giving advice angle, and since I do know a handful of married guys who legit aren't creepy about that, we talked some about streaming and camming and pinups, what sites to use, camera equipment, whatever. Some of his advice was useful, some of it got a little weird sometimes.
I guess worth noting in here is that he'd also made a big fuss over the years about being a nudist, and how stifled Heather made him because he couldn't be naked in his own home. I'm kind of a nudist myself, so we sometimes talked about that kind of thing too. We went with my partner to a nude beach in Cali, and it seemed fine enough. No contact or anything, so I did see it as legitimately just hanging out naked with friends. This was a few years ago, and I was in a badish way, so I took his assurances that it wasn't weird at face value. Anon is dumb.
Anyway 2018, the pinups and cosplay for side money topic came up, and he wanted in, and made some suggestions. Characters and settings, that kind of thing. These suggestions got less on brand with what I was willing to do and more creepy. He wanted to be in the photos with me, he wanted characters I don't cosplay, things that sounded suspicious because even if he weren't married, it's stuff Heather would find if I posted it anywhere. (Things like My Little Pony; outside of the obvious, how do you do a photoshoot with someone in cosplay, with no actual costumes, and then expect to make money off of it if you can't post it anywhere? It's not like Heather wouldn't know what he looks like, and it's not like I was keeping the possible side job secret.)
Ultimately, we didn't do any shoots, in part because I'm not in their state, in part because I lucked out and one of my other friends helped me make ends meet in the interim. But deflecting made Adam more persistent and creepy. Being told that I wasn't going to do something that Heather would be upset over just had him assuring me that he's the one who would get in trouble. This, mind, after I haven't been able to talk to her in a few years, much less openly. I eventually stopped replying much and didn't pursue the shoots I'd already planned or had supplies for.
Anyway, Heather and I eventually got back in contact because of all this current drama. Honestly, I thought he was trying to sabotage the marriage and get her to leave him, because why are you going for a married lesbian who's never wanted you, but then all… this.
I don't know why he's still framing himself like he's super faithful and super upstanding and wouldn't ever cheat on her, because the marriage was in shambles years ago. When things started going south, I guess a month ago around when this thread got made, he blocked me on Facebook after I hadn't talked to him since the last time he popped in my DMs asking about lewd photos. So there's that tea, I guess.
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I mean, here's a few from May/June. I don't really have time this week to comb through everything. But just as some corroboration to my post.
Woooooow. Good lord. Adam is SUCH a creep. Why did he think being so pushy about this with you was okay??
Did he ever come on to you? Like obviously wanting to be in a naked photoshoot with someone, lesbian or not, is sexual for a man. But did he ever outright try to hit on you? It blows my mind that he acted like this with women while pulling the whole "I can't believe Heather cheated on me, I would never cheat" bullshit.
Why would I ask a computer-savvy guy who used to frequent 4chan and otherwise gave camera and webhosting advice about a topic that I posed to most of my friends for further advice after he volunteered information about it? You find that creepy, and not him wanting to paint an apple on his ass and cross the incredibly obvious line in the sand between "hey you speak cameras, can you give recs" and "Hey let's do a porn shoot together my wife doesn't have to know"?>>753210
I am incredibly blind to that kind of behavior, but other people have mentioned it was a thing. He would backpeddle that he wasn't flirting sometimes, and with a lot of people I know, that's not too unusual. That said, those people don't later progress into this kind of behavior, and those people are also usually either younger than me or in theatre, or both.
So tl;dr, yeah, he creeped hard. And I'm someone he didn't realistically have a chance with, because me being gay isn't new information, and neither is me being married. So I can't really imagine what other behavior he might've done over DMs with random girls.
>>753373>I can't really imagine what other behavior he might've done over DMs with random girls
Well hey, we got to see what he said to one girl here >>752239
This guy is pretty predatory from what I'm seeing.
"we talked some about streaming and camming and pinups"
This could mean you talked about a lot more than just camera advice. And to some people, yeah bringing up the topic of potentially taking nude pictures of yourself and posting them online is not something to be brought up with male friends unless you know and are okay with them wanting to see them/get off to the photos. Most men want to see most women naked.
It could mean that, or… it could mean what it says on the tin? We talked about the fact that there are girls who stream in cosplay or barely-cosplay, and that people bid on actions or outfits or whatever, we talked about the fact that I know girls who made money off of dash cam eating in their cars, or that there are people with interest in long hair, or in feet, or in shoes.
It's a topic that isn't unusual within my friend circles. Ultimately, what my interest was in would have been things that didn't involve actually being naked, which was where he got pushy about being involved and the nakedness nonsense.
Also it's not my problem if he wants to see women naked. But where my problem came into play was where he wanted to see me naked, behind Heather's back, knowing we were friends. That's fucked up. Trying to cheat on your wife with your mutual friends when you're also supposedly friends with that person's spouse is fucked up.
Most men want to see most women naked, but don't then parade around talking about their sparkling virtuous faithfulness points.
Anon, yes, he specifically volunteered the information about cam girl sites. Because he was openly into that stuff. Because he talked about what kind of lewd shit got good traction on other sites, and about what sites he went to, and what other channers enjoyed. His openness about knowing about that kind of thing was literally why it was a thing we discussed.
And as I've mentioned previously, we talked about streaming in cosplay, or categories that aren't specifically erotic but that people pay money for, like eating McDonalds in your car on camera, or brushing long hair. For some reason people pay for videos of that. Being computer savvy–and, you know, the fact that he's been involved with Heather's channel–meant he could give advice on computer shit, video processing software, camera tips, incredibly normal stuff that could be applied to filming for those sites.
I'm sure I did things wrong along the way, but it reads like you're desperately digging for a way to find that and trying to absolve a 33yo man of his part in actively trying to go behind his wife's back. I asked publicly on multiple platforms for advice about streaming, including streaming art, or sewing, or whatever the fuck else, because I might as well get versatile equipment. Of my guy friends, approximately two turned out to be creepy about it, with Adam being the winner for Most Creepy and also the most invested in it being porn. He's the one who wanted to do the filming and be in it with me, which I wanted exactly none of.
I hoped he'd have camera advice and possibly put me in touch with other people who knew about that kind of thing, which is what most of my other married friends did, male or female. I speak costuming and photography, but I don't speak film or video editing. In literally the same vein, another friend who likes playing around with special effects makeup and lives off a lake offered to do a mermaid/siren shoot because we wouldn't have to pay for lakeside camping somewhere being topless or mostly-topless could be an issue. That guy friend was extremely insistent that if we do the shoot, my wife should be present, and if anything got uncomfortable or weird that we'd stop immediately. Because that's… how friends are supposed to treat friends… with basic respect.
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always trying to get nudes bc "it doesnt mean anything to me sexually"
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I'm assuming you're the same anon posting snapchat screnshots from 5 days ago, correct me if I'm wrong.
Are these recent screenshots? Does your friend know that Adam is married? Does your friend know that Adam has said he would never cheat and has publicly shamed Heather for cheating? Does your friend know that Adam is supposedly trying to put his marriage back together and work things out with Heather? In previous screenshots your friend said she "likes Heather." That is the biggest fucking lie ever, no one would actively message a married woman's husband all of these intensely lewd and personal things if they liked the woman he was married to and was "rooting for them" to stay together. Your friend is just as scummy as Adam.
Wow, Adam showed you this thread? Was this before all this nasty stuff about him was posted?
Also seriously delete your first two posts, you put your email address in (you're not supposed to put your email in the email field, read the lolcow rules on how to post for help).
Wow, that chick was literally choking up in the intro and I was bracing for something actually bad to happen in the video.
"I'm not super materialistic or anything," but makes a video about how physically pained
she is at the prospect of a toy being destroyed. Heather's the same way. She always talks about how she wants to be a minimalist and to declutter and how she doesn't like being surrounded by stuff all the time, but her free time is almost entirely comprised of going to thrift stores and antique stores to accumulate more stuff. Which is fine in itself, but doesn't make sense when you wax on and on about wanting less stuff. At least she's been cutting back on her thrifting and is switching to "adventuring" or whatever the hell she's doing now, but I guarantee a good chunk of her subscribers will leave because that's simply not what they subscribed for, and Heather has a gigantic ego that stops her from doing the smart thing and making a new channel for her urban exploring content.
Heather (and this weird blonde sperg), take a hint from the mounds of plastic garbage you voluntarily surround yourself with: you're materialistic as hell.
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A bit of an update: Heather has made a new snapchat despite the absolute fiasco that came about from her last snapchat foray. Nothing super milky has happened on there yet, but she's been almost exclusively talking about the new direction her channel is taking. She wants to go on more "adventures" in 2019 (by adventures she means going to kitschy antique stores and graveyards, and eventually going urban exploring more). She said that some people have suggested she make a new channel for her urbex content, but in response she went on a whole diatribe about how her channel is called "Heather SPARKLES!!!" and how her channel is about her and her interests and she wants it to represent her whole "sparkly self" or some nonsense like that. Literally the only thing keeping her from making a separate channel for her wildly off-brand content is her ego about her channel.
She's been assuring everyone on instagram lately that she "still loves sparkles and colors" but that she wants to dress sexy sometimes and do spooky shit on her channel. This girl is so obsessed with her image that she feels like she has to justify wearing the color black, lmao. Why do all these kaweewee cookie-cutter girls think that they can't wear certain colors without explaining themselves?
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This is an image board, post images.
Plus this other female friend that she made her "I lost my best friend" video about that she apparently knew for only a couple weeks. The girl comes on so hard and fast to new people in her life, no wonder she loses them all and starts going crazy on social media.
On her snapchat today she posted a video cuddling her cat, talking about how "people suck but cats will love me unconditionally like no human ever has." It's seriously sad to watch her go through these cycles.
I swear the video (which is deleted now so I can't go double check) was about her "perfect marshmallow friend" who she never mentioned anywhere on social media, and I'm pretty sure she said it was a girl. That she knew for only a couple weeks.
Also she has female friends, anon. She has gone over to a collector friend's house and done collab videos with her. She also hangs out/goes thrifting with that one larger girl. I never thought she was particularly adverse to female friendships.
Heather's snap story from the past 24 hours. Some highlights:
>Cuddling with cat: "You give me such unconditional love like no person ever has and I know you're never gonna leave me">Having a hard time getting over the break-up (were they dating???)>"So for me this tree is very triggering">Wrote herself a note in second-person to arrive with her amazon order because she's so lonely
"Hi Heather! I hope this mic can be used on your adventures! I know you are going to film some amazing content this year and will go on so many adventures! HAVE FUN! Adventure awaits! I love you Princess! ~ Love, Your Self!"
And here's a snap story from late November/early December that I forgot to post. She mostly just rambles about wanting to be independent and take control of her life for the first half. In the midst of her gaining-independence rant she mentions how getting out on her own would "open new doors when it comes to relationships and finding that special connection I've always dreamed of with someone and feeling close to someone." Then in the next breath she says she doesn't want to put herself in the situation where someone can control her or take advantage of her. It completely goes over her head that her obsession with finding a romantic partner is exactly how
she ends up in these easily-manipulable positions.
At about 13:13, she starts getting weepy as she realizes that she is "way too much" and that she is oversharing on social media. She says she's going to take a break from social media for a few days to "give people a detox" from her. Like twelve hours later she posts still images of herself in the car, saying she's having a breakdown because "she's about to go be bullied at marriage counselling." Mentions receipts she has ready. She says she has no one to turn to and that she's been emotionally abused and manipulated for years and that no one believes her. She then details the steps Adam takes to get people to believe him and turn against Heather. She claims he emotionally abuses her and then buys her things to make it "even."
I hope when Heather sees this (I assume she's lurking), she'll be re-inspired to leave Adam because she seemed very determined in this video.
Mega tinfoil inbound, but I'm convinced all these unsaged posts defending Adam are really from Adam, hear me out. They all use the same language ("this girl," "that guy," over-abundant use of "lol") that show both an unfamiliarity with board culture and a forced distancing from the subject. They're usually criticizing Heather for things that no one else is criticizing her for or bringing up things that one couldn't possibly know for sure without actually knowing Heather irl.
This is the nail in the coffin for me: look how liberally this fucking guy uses "lol" to punctuate his sentences: >>754246 >>754223 >>754221 >>753154
Less damning, but an instance of him referring to Heather as "this girl" like he's been doing on here: >>752302
Adam, it's absolutely disgusting and pathetic that you're trying to manipulate public opinion of your wife on an anonymous gossip board. You say you want to fix your marriage, yet you actively try to paint yourself as the victim in all this and make Heather look nefarious. You have been equally as unfaithful in your marriage as Heather, you have no moral high ground. In fact, most of the egregious posts on this thread are about you and your constantly inappropriate, creepy, and just generally gross behavior. Take your skinny little meat stick and get out of here.
Thank you, anon, I was thinking the same thing yesterday when it randomly got bumped up just to talk about her husband giving her money - which Heather now has to point out in her videos how she uses her own when I've never seen any of her subscribers care or ask.
Snapchat anon said Adam showed her the thread too >>754776
Is there any proof that Heather has been going urban exploring with a new guy? I thought it was adam taking her, I cant remember where but I am sure I saw a picture of Ashley (Adams friend) on top of the vampire building she featured in her newest video.>>763307
I agree its either Adam or someone close to the situation like Ashley Zoe Fox
This snap story happens immediately following the last one >>763155
and shows Heather crying in the car on the way back from the marriage counselling session. She says she will get out of the marriage no matter what, even if that means being homeless and having to go to a shelter. She claims that Adam was shaming her for her finances during the session, which is corroborated by his posting in this thread and his constant bringing up of money and who's-paying-for-what that he has posted on his social media.
Apparently people "from years ago" had reached out to Heather to apologize for believing Adam
and to tell her what he's been doing. So Adam has been manipulating and lying to friends for years according to her.
She says she sought love from others in the form of cheating because she's been isolated and abused for so long.
She also says she is so desperate that she will do anything for money. She emphasized anything
a couple times. Not sure what that means, but I don't want to speculate because that seems pretty grim.
Watching the latest dropbox link that was placed in here of her crying and listening to everything else she had to say.. I don't know, something still feels very /off/ about Heather. I known her for a bit back in the BJD hobby when she lived in California and I always got the vibe off of her that she had Adam do a lot of things for her. She did ahev Adam leave his family in CA so she could be closer to her family in PA. And if memory serves correctly, they lived at her mother's for awhile until they found their own place. She goes on saying she has no family to help her, but I bet her mother would do anything to help her. I mean, Heather's mother let them live with her until they found their own place; clearly she wants to do what she can to help Heather.
All in all, I think Heather is also having a horrible mental situation, like a manic episode. Just seeing how much she flips to one mood to the next in whatever she posts on twitter or snap or instagram, same with interests and hobbies – I was in a spot like this, but worse, last year and ended up making some choices that I regret. Like Heather has stated, she wants to make these choices extremely quick and want results right this moment and I went through that last year with my horrible manic stage and like I've stated before, I made some choices I regret. And people back then were telling me not to go on with these choices, but when you're in a bad manic stage; you don't want to listen to anyone's opinions or thoughts on the matter.
I'll go back to lurking here; just wanted to put my two cents in about Heather and what I think.
I recall the collab videos with the collector friend, but if you take a look at her channel, all of the videos with that girl are no longer there. They were from last year, correct? The girl she met at a convention? How much do you want to bet she somehow sabotaged that friendship? With all the drama she carries, I wouldn't be surprised. I can't speak for other adult women, but having a "friend" who has breakdowns on the daily and blames everyone else for her problems isn't exactly a friend I'd want to keep around.
I've noticed that she seems to rely heavily on the followers she's never met to be her friends.
If someone closer to the situation could prove me wrong, please do. I can't imagine she has very many rl friends based on her actions, especially not other female friends. If she did, I don't believe she'd be airing out her problems on Snapchat all the time.
Then get a divorce and stop bitching. So many people have offered to help her file for her divorce and move out (she blows them all off), she doesn’t need permission. She’s an adult. She’s even deluded enough to have said before that she wants and expects Adam to let her stay in the house and pay for her shit after they divorce (doesn’t sound like she wants to leave and “be free”). She just wants a divorce without having to leave or pay for her own shopping sprees and be able to date other people. Like a roommate that pays for everything and takes care of all the adult responsibilities. She’s still having him take her and buy her shit on her shopping trips and toy thrifting, still going out to dinner with him, still inviting him to hang out with her to be her camera man, still joking and flirting with him. ~so controlled~ much abuss.
If Adam has just said yes to the open relationship/poly thing she wanted, I highly doubt any of this mess would’ve happened. Especially since right after he said no to her asking to be in an open relationship, she instantly started sperging about wanting a divorce for the first time.
She can leave right now, she doesn’t even need a divorce to move out. She can go stay in a shelter, or at her parents, or at the numerous friends who have offered over and over to let her stay with them. She has two legs, no one is physically blocking her from leaving her house, she leaves everyday on shopping trips and restaurants and hanging out with friends. But suddenly can’t leave or take up her friends up on their offers when is he’s being “trapped” in a “abusive” relationship? It’s just what’s convenient for her in the moment.
Kind of getting sick of her victim complex, crying on Snapchat, but then not lifting one finger to actually do any of the things she claims she wants to do. Also kinda pissed she uses buzzwords like ~abused~ ~manipulated~ and ~controlled~ when she’s literally posting all this stuff on the phone he’s currently paying for and seemingly is trying to find a situation that benefits her the most financially. When there are real women who are actually being controlled who don’t have that luxury.
I think they’re both shitty people who are manipulative and selfish. And they both are just trying to leverage each other to get whatever benefits them the most.
Also agree with anon on this >>763439
They just both need to take their shit off social media, sit down and be honest about what they both want, stop being selfish, and compromise like grown adults. But prolly won’t happen bc they both want their way 100% and won’t settle for anything less than that.
Why anyone is buying any of the bullshit coming out of Heather and Adams mouths is beyond me.
Who has offered to help her get a divorce exactly?>>763661
They might have not been 'that' close anyway, I think if I was the girl I would have backed off when all the drama started to unfold with heather, someone she had only known a few months.
>>763690>>763688>Who has actually offered her help?
At least two anons that knew Heather irl have come on here to explain how they were willing to help her and she blocked them in response.>>752409>>752466
Heather uses the block button generously. Say something she doesn't like? Express your concern about her social media posts? Suggest therapy? Offer genuine help with getting her independence? Block, block, block, block.
I seriously agree with this >>763686
anon. Heather is not
being forced to stay. She isn't trapped by anything other than her inability to drive, but that isn't a true roadblock to someone who is genuinely in an abusive situation and needs to leave asap. She's mentioned she goes to therapy, and her therapist has provided her with the contact info for women's shelters/crisis lines. In the last dropbox snapchat video, she mentioned that she might finally call those numbers (she didn't, surprise surprise). She lives near her family, who she actually went to see yesterday for her sister's 16th birthday. She would almost certainly be allowed to stay with them for a short period of time at least. She's got a bit of money from youtube and depop that would at least get her somewhere. If in a pinch, she has porbably thousands of dollars in vintage toys she could sell. If she were truly in an "abusive, controlling, and manipulative" situation with Adam, then she has had every opportunity to leave. But nope. She stays with Adam (and this is only speculation, mind you) because he drives her to these urbex and graveyard locations, films her, brings in enough money to pay for the space for her collection room, and is generally just around
because she's got no one else and we know how lonely she gets. Imagine if she were genuinely alone in that house. As much as she claims to hate Adam, I bet she likes that he's around for company.
She's got a mega victim complex and keeps blowing her situation out of proportion because that's who she is. She's "way too much" (her own words). Nothing can just be "a little bit of a problem" with her. It's 100% or nothing. While I sympathize with wanting a divorce and think that she should be able to get one if she wants, I don't at all sympathize with her anymore simply because she has stated herself some of the resources she has available to her and actively blocks friends that extend a hand in trying to help, or even just acknowledge her mental illness/erratic posts on social media. The stark contrast between her downward spiral in November/December to now, with seemingly no real change in the catalyst (Adam/wanting a divorce) tells me that she's become complacent and didn't actually mean those things she said about wanting to get out and being abused. She just wanted attention and sympathy from followers. Well Heather, you got it. Plus a lolcow thread making fun of your public spectacle.
Wanted to add a bit more to this even though I said I'd go back to lurking.. Gut feeling is telling me she isn't in an "abusive, controlling, and manipulative" relationship:
I was in one and finally got the guts for divorce in 2016 after nearly seven years in it; during that relationship I was allowed to drive but I could only take him to work and I could only go to the stores or work. There was a time I could see friends, but when I started doing that "too much", I got in trouble. I didn't have my own bank account and I wasn't allowed to buy stuff. She has so much vintage stuff that past me would have loved to be able to have the "power" to be able to buy that much stuff. I wasn't allowed to leave the house other than if it was errands or work (after I got banned from friends). On my days off, there was a list of chores in home I always had to do and would get in trouble if I didn't do them. I wasn't allowed to do ANYTHING (such as computer, etc) until those chores were done. I wasn't allowed to go to bed until 5am because I had to pick him up from work and make him breakfast (he normally got off at 3am). And then I could sleep and had to wake up for work at 8am.
When I was in an abusive relationship, my life revolved around my abuser. I was miserable. I felt I had no purpose in my life. And I compare what I went through to Heather's situation (from what I see). She's allowed to use her phone and post personal things to the internet. I wasn't. Every text and post of mine was monitored and had to be reviewed. It was rare I could buy myself something. My money was his. And his mother was his.
Going back to a time when Adam said Heather didn't have a bank account, handful of people don't have one. My current SO doesn't because he simply doesn't like them. Heather might be the same way or just never got around to getting one (Like she hasn't bothered to get her license) and is having to use Adam's account for her PayPal to be able to deposit money into an account.
And before her youtube started popping off, I don't remember her ever talking about a job then. It always looked like Adam made enough to support both him and her. That was during the time she got her braces and started getting her hair done. Braces aren't cheap with or without insurance and I guess that's why they might be making payment plans. Getting your hair done at the salon and getting it touched up every month or so costs a bit too. And that would seem like some big purchases for a single YTer to make when they have around 10k subs at the time. She wanted these things and going back to what I was saying, if she is/was in an abusive relationship; Adam most likely would have NOT said 'yes' because none of that hair dying and braces would be benefiting him in the end.
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Had anyone else noticed that Heather is always saying that this is a new start, or a new beginning, or that things are going to change, but they never do? Honestly, I just want her to get her life together. How don't her followers find this schtick tiring? It's like she's all talk and no action.
To be fair youtubers have to advise their fanbases of children not to do shit & the odds of an old, well-made building suddenly collapsing on yourself are like…none
But anyways, as a fan, her urbex content is boring and annoying. I wanna see toys and thrifting and pony cleanups (which she never shows to us anymore, just talks about it). And its annoying how very little she knows about old buildings and cemeteries. Every other line is "i'll have to google that later" come the fuck on Heather, at least make your trips worthwhile by researching stuff that isnt old urban legends. As someone who also loves exploring this kinda stuff I research all I can so I can appreciate/understand what I'm seeing. Ffs she cant even figure out what objects were originally there and what stuff people left there in the past few years.
She's literally been posting these "inspiring/uplifting" fluffy garbage posts on insta and twitter for like two months. She started doing it back when she was just coming out of the turmoil that was November, and almost nothing has changed in her behavior other than she's now filming content no one subscribed for.>>767104>the odds of an old, well-made building suddenly collapsing on yourself are like…none
I don't know what you're talking about. That is a very real risk that you take when you go urban exploring. The hospital she was in literally had holes in stairs/the ceiling/the floor. Ceiling tiles fall all the time just from age and rain/snow accumulation. If you're walking around these places, kicking up dirt and rocks and generally unsettling things with the reverberations of your footsteps, things are more likely to fall. There are buildings so old and decrepit that you simply shouldn't go into. Not saying this hospital was at this point, but still. Doesn't matter how "well-made" the building is, if it's old as shit and has seen no upkeep in decades, yes, it will fall apart if people enter.
I agree with the rest of your post though. None of her subscribers care about the urbex/cemetery content, and the only reason she gets any positive comments on those videos is because people want to seem supportive of her because she's been having this embarrassing public meltdown. Don't want to tell the unstable girl her content sucks.
It all just seems super low effort. She only "researches" the spooky stuff, like the vampire crypt (kek what, I hope she doesn't actually believe that legend about the kid jumping out a hospital window) and the "witches' circle." She keeps talking about all this "symbolism" on tombstones and shit but never explains any of it. Also just slow panning shots of graveyards are super boring. It's so obvious that she's only putting out these videos because she
wants to go to these places.
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I think both Adam and Heather have posted here. On the other hand, farmhand said Heather and Adam weren’t posting in this thread, and that they had checked all posters, all of them regular posters. But that was 1 month ago. I think Adam is posting here in some of the more autistic posts, especially since when a suspicious post is called out a farmer usually responds to say they’re a farmer to clear up confusion. I think a few posts people suspected are Adam aren’t him, just some newfag who doesn’t know how to sage, but I definitely think Heather is here, both trying to sway the thread to their side. I mean (pic related), but what real farmer and regular poster offers to donate money to a cow? I’ve been here since sites inception, and the only times I’ve seen this happen is when A) it’s the cow itself B) it’s a friend of the cow C) people want to donate to the victim of a cow, not the cow itself D) someone who wants to suck up/be friends with the cow E) they’re a newfag. Including all the posts where they didn’t sage and/or repeated the same exact phrases in multiple posts with same typing style, posting that she’s a total victim, brainwashed, “de-programming”, how horribly abused she is, and we should all rally and support her and help her find (coincidently) financial support to “escape” and “be free”. This whole thread is filled with sus posts.
They’re both manipulators, liars, narcissistic, and have huge victim complex’s. It’s hard to tell for sure which posts are selfposts, but I would bet money that they’ve both posted here multiple times to get anons to side with them, which they both seem obsessed with doing. They both try harder to convince others that they’re in the right, and the other is in the wrong, then they try to do anything productive to change the shit they’re bitching about.
New snapchat story: https://www.dropbox.com/s/2ek3f0wtklk7aui/heatherblizzard1.mp4?dl=0
So Dera (Heather's "bestie") drove Heather to Madison Seminary in Ohio to go "ghost hunting" for her birthday. There was (and still is) a winter storm warning in place for the area of Ohio they drove to, and it was advised to stay off the roads unless absolutely necessary. They got into a wreck on the way to their destination (their car ran off the side of the road and into a ditch) and had to be towed, which Heather described as very expensive. They finally got to the seminary, which Heather showed very little footage of on snapchat, and then they drove to their hotel. Heather says that her hands went numb because she was so terrified driving in the snow and that she never should have traveled (it was not Heather but Dera who did all the scary driving, Heather just hitched a ride). She also points her phone at Dera a couple times and Dera holds her hand up in front of her face, clearly not wanting to be filmed.
Why did Dera agree to drive in inclement weather just to go "ghost hunting"? Was this not the sort of thing that could've been postponed until the weather cleared up? All I can think is that she felt pressured to continue with the plans she made with Heather because she didn't want to "ruin Heather's birthday." Heather has said over and over that she never gets to do anything for her birthday because plans always fall through and none of her friends end up celebrating with her. She mentioned that she was really excited for what she had planned for her birthday this year, and I'm sure that's why Dera felt she couldn't reschedule. Maybe it's just me, but I think it was really rude of Heather to insist that her friend drive her for two and a half hours in a blizzard just so she could film a ghost hunting video. To me, that just seems like taking advantage of a kind friend. If I were Heather, I would've insisted we push our plans off a week or so and paid the cancellation fee for the hotel if there was one. I would never make my friend drive me around in dangerous conditions just for a birthday road trip. I seriously hope Heather helped pay for the towing.
She tacked this on to her story just now. Apparently the whole trip was a disaster, she feels bad for making her friend go out and drive in the storm, she woke up sick, and that this is probably one of the worst days of her life.
Heather says, "they said come on out for your birthday, we'll make it awesome," so apparently she went to go meet up with someone in Ohio? She doesn't say exactly what "they" did when she arrived to disappoint her.
All week people have been talking about the snowstorm, idk if it's in PA too but here we all knew. Even if the trip was planned before they knew, they're both grown ass adults. They should know to save the trip for another day to be safe plus how much good footage can you get when it's snowed up to your knees? They're reckless. I give Heather the benefit of doubt usuallu but she seems more concerned about going on her trip and snappchatting instead of using common sense to say "Hey, let's just hang out at home and talk about toys for a video instead of going out in a storm where we could both get hurt or worse."
If Heather had any driving experience she wouldn't have wanted to go in that weather. I remember she talked about getting license months ago but instead of studying that weekend like she claimed she would she went out on a date. Sure this car accident didn't motivate her any more to start driving.
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oddly enough people seem to say there was a lot of drama but i can't find anyone going into details
here's just some old posts on a bjd confessions blog about her, it's all very vague
Here's that snapchat ramble: https://www.dropbox.com/s/167pd3g1fbgzj06/heatheronthehaters.mp4?dl=0
She repeats herself a lot
in this one, but basically she says she's been getting "cyber attacks, death threats, and people gossiping about her everyday life" which she doesn't understand because she's "a nobody and a loser." She says people just don't understand her and that they've misinterpreted her. She says all she wants to do is make people happy, and she wishes people saw that side of her instead of hating her for this "misinterpretation." She thinks there are so many better things people can do with their lives rather than gossiping about her super boring life. She says she's been thinking a lot lately about quitting youtube. She repeats "everybody
hates me" quite a few times. She's convinced that there is a huge amount of people online that absolutely hate her (which, just taking this thread as an example, is patently false). She says some days, she gets more hate than support. She wonders if it's worth it to keep putting herself out there on social media despite all the hate for her personal life she's getting, but she just loves being on camera and filming these exploring videos so much. She wants to be a host of some ghost hunting show or something someday, and she sees youtube as practice for that.
She says she's accepted that people are going to hate her. She has nothing left to lose. She says maybe she deserves the hate "even though she's a good person" but she asks that her friends get left out of it. I assume this is about the screenshot from Dera's instagram that was posted yesterday (which is now deleted, along with the two posts that Heather made about the incident). She says her friends don't deserve that, they didn't ask for that (which is a bit hypocritical because Dera clearly didn't want to be in her snapchat story, but Heather filmed her anyway).
She says she "lives a peaceful life and doesn't start drama with anyone." She said, "yes I ranted about divorce stuff. Is that really so bad to deserve so much hate?" She genuinely thinks that's all people have a problem with her about. She claims that people have tried to get close to her just so they can get dirt on her so people can laugh at her. Is that what those people who used to be your friends until you blocked them after they suggested you get help were doing, Heather? Just trying to get dirt on you?
>"I read what people are saying about me, and I wish I could just jump in and correct them because so many people are just so misinformed."
She admits to reading this thread. I can't fathom how she could possibly read this thread and not understand exactly what people don't like about her behavior.
She does confirm that the "losing my best friend" video was about a guy she got really close to who "basically tricked her, took advantage of her, and dumped her" and that people were saying she "deserved it." I don't recall anyone saying she deserved what Ryan did to her in this thread, so I'm not sure where she's getting that from.
She ends the rant saying "fuck the haters, I'm just going to do what makes me happy." She says she'll keep making explore videos and whatever kind of videos she wants. She knows this will be "used against her" but she doesn't care.
She also apologizes to anyone she might've hurt or offended, saying she just sucks at getting back to people in messages and she can't keep up internet friendships.
As someone that has a friend that, while not famous, has quite a following - it really hurts.
But mental illness sometimes makes you feel really lonely, Whether you have support or not, so she's most likely exaggerating because she's manic
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I don't see why she just can't release said footage?
Maybe because she cries constantly to manipulate others to take her side and/or overlook a shitty thing she did? Often recording it and taking selfies of her crying for attention?
I hope she posts it, it’s probably so cringe inducing.
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She shouldn't hace posted it in the first place. She is clearly looking for sympathy
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Samefag but these are definitely old, this is her twitter profile pic right now. Why did you hold onto those screencaps for so long, anon?