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File: 1465645182190.jpeg (22.02 KB, 330x330, image.jpeg)

No. 97043

Previous one >>80845

Let's scream about anything into the anonymous imageboard abyss and we'll try and help eachother out

No. 97052

Is there any way for a really painless suicide? I just want to fall asleep and never wake up. I was thinking of getting on of those exit bags but after some news about suicide with helium they started to put some oxygen to the tanks.

No. 97053

>>97052
That method never seemed painless, efficient, and it seems like it has a lot of margin of error.

Not gonna tell you how to kill yourself but I'll tell you that isn't the way, if there is even just a tiny leak or something you will feel immense panic, dread, and probably fear in your final moments assuming you don't instinctively pull the bag off your head.

No. 97056

I'm staying with my family in Poland for a week and I'm absolutely hating it. They treat my like some sort of spoilt idiot even through I'm doing an electrical engineering course and being generally not stupid or idiotic. Someone had gone through my luggage god knows why and they keep talking about how they are waiting for me to fail because I am not cut out for anything. They keep saying that I will never have kids and get cancer because thats what happens to 'girls like me', I have no idea what that means and it is really upsetting me.
Plus from some apparent reason the American military is here and they just got these fucking helicopters flying about fuck knows why, I'm worried about my friends that live here.

No. 97057

>>97056
>I will never have kids and get cancer
Who in their right mind would say that to a family member? You should leave early, being around them sounds detrimental to your mental health. Have they always been like this? I know family can be critical, but Jesus Christ, who says those kind of things. Stay strong, anon.

No. 97059

>>97056
The Yank military is there to 'protect' the Polish from evul Russians because America is Poland's new butt buddy. Never mind that Russia couldn't give less of a fuck about Poland. Assuming you live in America, how the hell did you not know about NATO and what your nation's military is doing in the world? Do they seriously not report that?

No. 97060

>>97057
Polacks are Mega-catholics who oppose abortion and women doing anything other than popping out kids.

No. 97061

File: 1465664604770.gif (2.04 MB, 229x162, 1455414794353.gif)

>my period's started
>right before exams week

No. 97068

>>97059
I live in the UK, I'm originally Polish as I moved when I was nine. I know about NATO, I also know how the 'representative' of it takes orders from the american millitary. Eider way I know that if they show up in a country it will soon go to shit.
>>97060
That's sort of true but nor really. Its the Polish 'rednecks' that are like that. My mum's family is super normal with all the girls in the family are doctors and such. I just think that they are really backwards in general, they are not like that to the rest of my female cousins through.

No. 97069

Sorry for the novel in advance but I feel so retarded.
>be Eastern Euro (not Russian, Ukrainian or Polish) studying in another Euro country (not the UK, Germany or Ireland)
>learning the language and integrating fairly nicely, but nobody wants to hire me
>sent hundreds of job apps, get rejected every time, but suddenly get an invite for an interview
>employer tells me I'll have unpaid training for 'anywhere from 2 to 4 days' and then start working
>btw employer is a Chinese guy, the store is newly opened and they sell counterfeit goods to tourists. Most employees are Russian students who can't find a job elsewhere. Looks shifty af, but I don't have a choice
>work there (full hours) for a week and a half, did more than my fair share of work, worked my ass off
>do photography as a hobby so boss asks me to take some pics for the company - sure why not, if that's what it takes
>boss promises he'll sign the job contract but every day something comes up - printer is broken, forgot, etc etc
>tells me I should take a break, I've been working non stop for over a week and it's illegal
>ok.jpg, get day off
>on day off boss emails me and asks to send him pictures
>tells me I should rest some more, he'll message me about the contract later, his accountant is going over it
>send him pictures but start getting suspicious, this is fishy
>tells me I have the next day off, but I come to work anyway because I'd forgotten something there
>manager literally shooes me away, says I'm being unfair to other workers, she'll tell me when I need to come etc
>kinda figure something bad is gonna happen but keep telling myself I'm just being paranoid
>get email that I'm fired on the same day.

I still have RAWs of the photos and emails as proof but it sucks that they did it so underhandedly without even paying me. I'm complaining to like 5 different unions on Monday, don't know what else to do.

I'm mostly sad because my coworkers were wonderful and I'm gonna miss them so much.

No. 97077

I really dislike one of my bfs friends.

We used to live with him and he started an actual fist fight with my boyfriend because he asked him to be quiet. I thought after this they'd fall out and I'd never have to see the guy again, but they made up and he carried on living there until the contract ended and they both moved back home. Now they hang out pretty much all the time. I'm away at uni and when I come back I can see the difference in my bf from hanging out with him. He already has a bit of a "common" accent, which I don't particularly like but I've never said anything because he speaks intelligently enough to make up for it and he's already somewhat self concious about it. But he's picking up more of an accent and starting to speak like him though, and keeps making these awful mistakes that make him sound like an idiot.

The friend is always stirring up drama in their group and my bf ends up having to mediate between him and another guy on an almost weekly basis because of stupid shit like falling out over a girl talking (Literally just talking. Nothing else.) to both of them at the same time.

They do the whole "Banter" thing, except this guy cannot take what he dishes out at all. The whole time we lived together I was at college trying to get into uni, and he used to shit on me for "having it easy" all day because I was only in three days a week. Meanwhile he works a dead end job in a supermarket and if I were to respond with anything on this level he would literally throw a tantrum and start breaking shit. because I got very slightly annoyed about this he did the whole "Oh can't take the banter can we?" Thing to me making out as if I'm the one who can't take a joke. They're not even jokes though, they're thinly veiled spiteful remarks borne out of jealousy.

Arghhhhh.

No. 97101

File: 1465674766990.png (35.7 KB, 250x250, 1422335692798.png)

>have sex for the first time yesterday
>say to myself I won't get clingy and want more sex afterwards
>I'm super clingy for some fucking reason
>we're having sex again tomorrow
>he told me he loved me before we fucked
>I told him that was gross and that I hate romance
>now I feel like I actually want to tell him I love him back

No. 97103

>>97053

I need to find a way, I'm taking some tests to see if I have MS. If I end up having it don't think I can handle dying as a drooling retard tied to my bed.

No. 97105

>>97101
For how long have you actually known this dude?

No. 97112

>>97105
oh boy, like 5 or so years? maybe a little bit less than that. I went to high school with him.

No. 97121

File: 1465685276926.jpg (160.84 KB, 1890x1417, 1465224676736.jpg)

I have a small dick and it's driving me insane.

No. 97161

File: 1465706795215.jpeg (33.84 KB, 500x376, image.jpeg)

I'm going back to the states to visit my family for a month or two this summer. the original plan was to just take it easy and veg out at my parents home until I go back, but my boyfriend suddenly sprung it on me that him and his sister are planning on coming to my State to spend two weeks and wanted to know if it was okay to stay at my parents place. Of course my family is okay with it, but I am just kind of bummed that I have to do regular things. I've lived abroad for the past 2 years, so I never really got my permit upgraded to a license, so in three weeks I have to get back into the groove of driving and take the driving test to get my license. All while I am still doing my regular work from home (Its my vacation, I want to be lazy dammit!) For two weeks I have to go out and do all of this dumb tourist stuff and waste my money driving us around, eating out, and paying entry prices to a lot of overpriced attractions. They also want to go to some other city 4 hours away by car, but I don't have a car that I can use for a whole day or two, so we have to take that Amtrak and pay for a hotel. I also feel guilty because my hometown isn't particularly exciting, and even if we go to some fun attractions I am worried they will still be bored or feel like they should have just gone to New York or Los Angeles instead. Our house does have a pool, so maybe that will be a good excuse to just stay home and relax for a few days, since I couldn't find much to schedule to fill in the whole two weeks.

No. 97176

File: 1465718918147.jpg (44.63 KB, 500x340, tumblr_o6bbck16m41umdmzqo1_500…)

I have BDD and I'm constantly on the verge of killing myself because of it. I know that sounds like an overreaction, but just being in my body makes me suicidal. I can't look in mirrors, I can't look at myself naked, I can't wear bathing suits or shorts or almost any clothes, I can't even touch any part of my body without having a damn near heart attack.

I've been going to therapy since I was a child for semi-unrelated reasons but none of it helps. No medication helps, no dumb breathing exercises help, none of it helps.

I'm about to just kill myself and hope I get reincarnated into a body that I can live in without having a breakdown every day. Or I can just rot into nothingness forever, that's fine too.

No. 97178

>>97161
Hello darkness my old friend - this is the eternal struggle of introverted hermits. Here are some suggestions.

You need to fill some of these activity days with less intense indoor activities that they still perceive as fun and creative. Board games, movie/tv marathons on your couch (with decadent junk food, a pillow fort, full laziness), cooking and baking new recipes together, barbeque on the lawn, read 50 shades out loud. Buy art supplies and paint or sculpt even if you don't know how - make fun of your creations, with music and snacks. Trying to paint each other might be hilarious. A park picnic, gaming event, theme party, roast marshmallows and watch spoopy videos, etc. Or something practical yet fun, like design and redecorate a room together, go shopping for new clothes with them (make a show as you try things on) AND host a garage sale to get rid of the old clutter. If you need to do tedious things like grocery shopping or washing and walking pets, do it with them so they see a lot of you. Fill these otherwise dull moments with conversation, photographs, joking between the 3 of you on social media so they won't forget it. You can find a lot more suggestions on the net from experienced introverts, I'm sure.

To really sell it, tell them you want to spend "quality, personal" time with them. Talking, getting to know them and JUST them - rather than dealing with crowds and long lines. To get out of something complicated complain "it's such a small town, everything's so far, I don't want to spend TOO much time on a bus," and suggest something better and family-oriented. Your activities can be relaxing, like a spa, nail salon, theater, laying on the beach all day. If all else fails, get them REALLY exhausted from your activities so all they want to do is relax. Also, drink coffee.

You can explain your feelings to your family and they'll be in on this, helping you entertain them. They probably want to keep you at home too.

No. 97186

Wow a lot of you guys are living out of your home country.
I'm sad because I'm going home this summer, and I'll probably never get to live abroad again until I'm 60 and retired from my cubicle.

No. 97192

>>97186
It's because you weren't born in a shithole. I'd love to work in my home country and actually know what's written on street signs and not feel blind, deaf and dumb, but my home country is kinda bursting at the seams so I have to work and live abroad and tell myself how lucky I am every time someone is being condescending towards me or refers to me as a pest for just daring to exist.

No. 97200

>>97192
>I'd love to work in my home country and actually know what's written on street signs and not feel blind, deaf and dumb
Part of what I enjoy about living abroad is learning the language, which is why I wish I could stay here longer or come back sooner.

No. 97201

>>97176
go for a run

No. 97202

>>97178
>read fifty shades out loud
you should be a therapist

No. 97207

>>97200
That's great but learning a language takes time and us peasants without money need to work in the meantime. And finding a job is hard if you don't speak the language. Not everyone can just go anywhere they please and teach English for money.

No. 97215

>>97207
I hear ya. That's why I've always wanted to get some kind of job where I can work from a computer. That way I can at least have a job anywhere I go.

No. 97387

I know this isn't an advice thread but I posted in the last vent thread about (accidentally) breaking my mom's expensive necklace during a fight. I finally saved up enough to buy her another one and it's coming in the mail right now, but I want to buy her some other stuff to make up for it.

I was thinking that I would give her the necklace, a piece of merch from her favorite show, a 'sorry' card, and flowers. Do you think that's enough for a good apology? Should I buy anything else?

No. 97404

>>97387
I think she will appreciate enough that you feel enough remorse about the ordeal to replace the necklace. I think just giving her the necklace as a token and sincerely apologising in person would mean a lot to her.
Possibly invite her out to breakfast or lunch or something?

No. 97478

Almost all of my queer friends have starting talking like they're a Drag Race contestant and it bugs the hell out of me.

No. 97490

>I want to get a summer job to save money for when college will start
>almost impossible to get a job if you don't have friends or family to literally give you one
>nobody can help me so I send resumes pretty much everywhere
>still nothing
>my sisters who are helped by their friends and have a good timetable all year long make fun of me for not having a summer job yet
>my mother who hasn't worked for more than a decade now and who haven't even set a foot in high school lecture me that I'm useless
>even though she gives me work to do instead of her which is a waste of time and prevent me from finding more opportunities
>she only cares that I graduated because she can brag about it to her shitty gossiping neighbors
>they're starting to really harass me over that these last weeks

What do I do now? Beside getting the fuck out of here and finding a job I mean, obviously. I really feel more and more like shit everyday and it makes me want to give up and become a neet this summer. They probably think they're encouraging me but they're making me feel like giving up and insulting them instead. When I actually ask them for help I can't count on them though.

No. 97493

>>97478
Pretty much everyone talks like that including heterosexuals. It's the new "trendy" thing just like black slang and ebonics.

No. 97513

I BURNT THE FILTER OF MY CIGARETTE
I AM OUT OF BEER
AND ITS ANOTHER HALF AN HOUR TILL E3 SONY
Also the girl I want to fugg loves another.
Thank god I got wodka

No. 97514

>>97513
Thank goodness for vodka! I'm having my third beer as I type this and would be sad if I were out too. Cheers!

No. 97521

>>97478
yaaaaaaaaassss hunty slaaaay yaaaaaaas

No. 97525

>>97521
Kek must be like being trapped in a Buzzfeed article.

No. 97530

>>97525
No, tumblr.

No. 97537

File: 1465875595805.gif (110.42 KB, 451x311, n5mtvkSvkO1txajfso1_500.gif)

>Partner had a kid when he was 16.
>Raised the kid and loved him very much.
>Learned the kid wasn't even his when he tried to sue for custody.
>Has still remained the kid's life regardless.
>Mother is BPD and actually tried to smother him his is sleep when he was 3. Is terrible to him basically his whole life.
>Kid is starved for positive attention from his mother.
>"Father" takes care of him and has unofficial primary custody of him for years.
>Start dating partner and go into kid's life around age 11. He's sad and needs a comforting female influence so I jump in.
>Kid flourishes and gets good grades and a great social life with the both of us. We think everything is golden for years.
>Mother basically ignores him and us.
>Kid suddenly starts getting positive attention from his mother that he's starved for at age 17.
>Mother gets arrested for dealing and the kid lies to save her.
>Goes to live with his mother, mostly to take care of her crack baby from who knows whom.
>Kid turns 18 and is basically live in nanny to crack baby.
>Haven't heard from the kid since he decided to go live with his mother.
>Kid suddenly comes home unannounced saying he "misses" us. He's only here to ask for money.
>Partner is just so grateful to see him again he doesn't see his manipulations out of love.
>mfw

No. 97594

>>97493
>>97478
Getting so sick of this too, I didn't mind it a little bit, but I can't take someones heartbreaking grievance story seriously when they just said 'hunty'.

>>97537
That's some really heavy stuff, good luck to you guys. I wouldn't even know where to draw the line between firm and caring there.

No. 97596

>>97490
Next year start looking earlier (like march), and follow up with a phone call a few days after you do an application or give a resume.

No. 97607

>>97537
Sounds like the kid is now an adult so you can just tell him to gtfo.

No. 97635

I just finished The Witcher 3 and got the worst possible ending. I feel like I got hit in the face with a chair. It's probably one of the most depressing game endings I've seen and the "important" choices that lead to this sounded like the right choice. Like, you know, not letting your daughter go alone to the lodge where there are incredibly dangerouse sorceresses around and not letting her destroy her fucking friends lab.
I'm just so damn sad and pissed right now that it ended like this…fuck.

No. 97657

>>97635
Well, now I know what not to do when I start playing W3. You can always replay it anon to get a better ending.

No. 97677

There's a girl around my age who sits next to me in a concert band I play in and it seems like they want to talk to me during every rehearsal. It feels kind of strange because I barely have any social skills and just work a lot or go completely unnoticed outside of the house. The last time one of my old acquaintances even called/messaged me was over two years ago, and they were one of only two friends that have talked to me in the last five years.

It feels weird being able to talk about stuff I like instead of the fake compliments/recycled conversations I'm used to having with co-workers that would never talk to me otherwise.

No. 97683

Today is just one of those days where the realisation that I'll never be happy or satisfied truly hits me. I'll never be smart enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, successful enough, whatever enough… Makes me wonder why the fuck do I even bother breathing.
I'm a stupid piece of shit who ties my self-worth with other people constantly. What I perceive is never enough, I need other people to validate me and I just hate myself for it. I'm a horribly vain attention whore and as self-conscious as it gets.
I also broke up with my partner of almost three years a month ago, just because I stopped loving him and fell in love with someone else like the piece of shit I am. I just hate myself as a person, the fact that I can't make friends because muh anxiety and have to rely on ranting on an imageboard to get this shit out of me and hopefully clear up my head.
I have no idea what I’m trying to accomplish here…

No. 97697

>>97683
Love isn't real, it's a chemical reaction in your brain. You fucked up, anon.

No. 97704

Im sick of whiteknights in the momokun thread. They were entertaining at first but now theyre just shitting up the thread. I really dont understand why they whitenight so often considering Mariah isnt even all that internet famous, she's just another one of the hundreds of cosplay whores. No other snowflake or cow gets whiteknighted this much, its really surprising

No. 97705

>>97704
She's pretty popular on 4chan's /vg/ I believe.

No. 97711

>>97697
What's that supposed to mean? Every feeling is a chemical reaction in your brain.

No. 97718

>>97711
A 3 year relationship (where, presumably, everything else was going great) is a lot to throw away for a fleeting attraction to another person who might turn out to have a shittier personality or be more difficult to live with. Js.

No. 97720

>>97705
Why? Is she good at playing video games? Or is it her personality interesting? Because other anons have said she doesn't get that many twitch views

No. 97721

>>97720
It's because they're all thirsty little virgins and she constantly shows off her ass and tits.

No. 97733

File: 1466022730875.jpg (1.98 MB, 3401x2277, photo-1465612245778-6f59c99b5f…)

(posted in the wrong vent thread, my bad)

I fucking hate that the hobby I invest the most time into is filled with shut ins and introverts and no one wants to leave their house to get a cup of coffee.

The only way I can interact with most knitters and crocheters my age is online through IRC or discord, and I brought up the topic of World Wide Knit in Public Day and asked if people were doing anything cool and most replies were pretty much "Nope, I'm a hermit, and I don't like the public :DD" like that's something to be proud of
For real are you fucking kidding me

I mean I get along with most ladies I meet at the needle arts socials I go to, but for once I wish I can actually have someone around my age to talk to.

>inb4 get a new hobby stupid

No. 97738

>>97733
How old are you? if you go to college you could try to find a knitting/crafting club to go to. my school has one and it was just a group of people sitting in a circle knitting/crocheting/needleworking and shooting the shit.

No. 97742

>>97738

I founded the one at my uni, and people ended up either dropping out due to lack of interest, "wah it's so hard" and left, stole supplies under the guise of "I'll finish it in my dorm", or just signed up for emails and never came to a meeting.

Big factor is that I was a commuter student so hours were limited. Even then when I tried making a later session, it was just maybe 1-2 people. I just kind of gave up on it because the amount of time I've put into social media/email promotions with very little turnout wasn't worth the headache anymore.

I ended up transferring my leadership to the leader of the unofficial DnD group because he knows how to knit and can now reserve rooms for his game nights in the student center without going though the absurd amount of paperwork needed for starting a club kek

No. 97743

I'm secretly really bitter about the fact that i've been single for the longest time in my life (since i got my first bf at 14), which is about 6 months by now (i'm 24 now). I feel empty and lonely all the time because i used to put so much of my own happiness in the hands of others (i.e guys that dumped me/cheated on me in the end anyway). I tell everyone, including my family, that i'm sick of dating, that i don't need anyone, that i'm gonna focus on rebuilding myself for the time being etc etc… But every night i cry-wank myself to sleep while the though of the perfect relationship with someone that loves me as much as i love them pierce through the remaning parts of my almost completely hollowed out heart. I'm anything but a NEET, i do stuff and go to work all day, i even met a cute guy though work that seems interested, but i know it's not gonna last so for the first time in my life i don't even give a fuck anymore. But deep down i know that the only thing that truly makes me happy is having intimate loving sex. I'm so fucking pathetic, i can't appreciate anything other in life than having sex with a hot dude, everything else feel like a fucking chore. I think i need to re-program my whole brain in order to become a normal happy person, but since o've also been depressed for years and years it's not gonna happen anytime soon.

No. 97744

my depression is killing me.
i stopped taking my Zoloft because i didn't feel like it was getting to the root of the problem. im positive i have bipolar disorder but haven't gotten around to setting up a doctor appointment to be evaluated. i feel like i could really benefit from a mood stabilizer paired with an anti depressant. but i just have no motivation.
my depression has put a strain on my relationship. ive been trying to find a job for a fucking year now. my boyfriend was supporting me but it got too expensive with me not being able to snag a job so i had to move back in with my parents may 24th. it's made things so fucking difficult since he's my bestfriend and i try not to take it personally because i saw this coming but i can't help but feel like he wants to be away from me and i feel so worthless that every interview i have results in disappointment and fuels my depression. it's not even that i don't have a good resume or experience idk what's wrong with me. ill be so confident that itll be the one and then they turn me down. if i don't get a job soon everything will fall apart. my relationship. my mental state. my life.
im always sad. i haven't seen my boyfriend for almost a week and it's been hell. and when we are together my depression is so fucking strong that im mostly unpleasant to be around. we don't have sex as often because i feel so ashamed and insecure with myself and when we do i can't enjoy like i used to. my boyfriend tries so hard and he loves me so much but nothing is working. it hurts him for me to always be so sad and pessimistic lately. he thinks i should go back on my medication but i really don't want to. what i need is to find a god damn job. all my problems will be solved when i have a job again. then i can set up an appointment and hopefully try another medication. but idk how much longer i can go on like this. im waiting to hear back from two places. but im learning not to get my hopes up. i just don't know what im going to do. i need a job… its all i want… i try so hard and get nowhere

No. 97746

File: 1466027449510.png (66.94 KB, 1456x1108, 1460272947923.png)

>>97743
Seriously though, relationships should be an addition to your already good life, you don't need a man to complete you.


Honestly you should just go on with your life and try to find happiness in your job or friends etc. Doing otherwise will just make you needy, dependent and vulnerable.

No. 97754

>woke up with what feels like UTI
>feeling weird feeling in bladder that I don't normally have with UTIs
goodnight forever

No. 97760

>>97742
Ah, yeah I can see how that's a problem. The one at my school was already fairly established. I guess it was nice for what it was (but the turnout was personalities I don't really care for so I stopped going)

Have you tried meetup.com? not sure where you're located but any decent sized city might have a knitting circle or something

No. 97761

>>97744
I know how you feel anon. I hope you find medication that works for you. Have you tried going for seasonal positions yet? Thats how I got my current job, although Im not sure if there are as many openings for summer positions as fall and winter ones. Also try going through a temp agency, Ive heard that they're able to get you a job more quickly and the interview process is easier

No. 97764

>>97744
Have you always had an easy time getting guys?
You may have just learned to rely on that for self-meaning instead of finding meaning in yourself through your own actions like >>97746 is talking about.

No. 97794

>>97718
The thing was that everything wasn't going so great. Communication became nonexistant and he was constantly calling me names. I felt like I was his mother, only taking care of him. I tried to make it work but it would get only worse and worse so I decided to get out.

No. 97863

>>97743
Try being single for 5 years.
Last time I had a gf was in 2011.
I'm 21 now, and everyone around me is either sleeping with strangers every weekend or in a long term relationship. Meanwhile I'm on trulia looking up which trailer I'm going to spend the rest of my life in.

No. 97865

>>97863
>21
this kind of weird, short-sighted, defeatist attitude is probably what is turning some girls off from you tbqh. nearly every guy I know who has trouble with girls has this kind of attitude. my ex has this kind of attitude, and it's one of the reasons I broke up with him. it's really unattractive, and it makes you look incredibly lazy. "oh no I'm already 21 (even though that's barely an adult) I have my whole life ahead of me, but have zero ambition or at least short term goals, and zero interest in trying to figure some out." if you're not already doing alright for yourself (and if you were, you'd probably not be thinking this way anyway), this just signals to a girl to expect the relationship to be unchanging and mediocre.

No. 97866

>>97865

I'm 26 and basically gave up, everything I tried to achieve turned in to shit and never had a gf. Ugly as sin, short, balding and small dick plus bitter, depressing personality from years of failure.

No. 97867

>>97865
You might not believe me, but I don't act that way at all in person. My life is pretty good, I'm going to college and have a decent amount of friends. The only friend I really talk to about this stuff is one close friend from childhood.
I just get lonely, and sometimes wish I had a gf to do all of that wishy washy crap with.
Though I wont lie, it also makes me feel shitty about myself being single for so long while most of my friends are dating left and right. Part of the reason is that I want to feel valuable again, and not like some kind of monster or creep.
I know validation is a bad reason to be in a relationship. Maybe I should buy the trailer after all.

No. 97869

>>97794
Ah, okay, it's great that you got out then! You just made it sound like you threw away a good relationship for a random person or something, but I understand now. Good for you, anon. Fuck that guy.

No. 97902

>>97866
You should join an organised religion

No. 97903

>>97902

Why so I can delude myself with more lies?

No. 97910

>>97865
>"oh no I'm already 21 (even though that's barely an adult) I have my whole life ahead of me, but have zero ambition or at least short term goals, and zero interest in trying to figure some out."
>if you're not already doing alright for yourself (and if you were, you'd probably not be thinking this way anyway), this just signals to a girl to expect the relationship to be unchanging and mediocre.

I feel like this is pretty much how my bf thinks. Though he never really had trouble with girls and dating, he has this attitude about pretty much else in his life. He's going to college, but he is going to classes maybe once or twice a week, and he just doesn't seem to be able to get his ass up and finish his degree. He will probably need at least two additional semesters. He doesn't know what job he really wants to do, he hasn't had a job for over two years now, and aside from going to class once in a blue moon he is pretty much living the NEET style and playing video games all day long.
Sometimes I suspect he might have mild depression or other issues, and he has mentioned he wanted to get counseling, but he has yet to actually do anything. And I can't really help him there, if he's not willing to either change or get help (I suggested both and offered help in looking for options) there's nothing I can do.
I struggle with tendencies for depression and anxiety myself, and it's a constant battle to get out of bed, get my stuff done, do paperwork, study, write applications, job interviews… So I feel like him just doing nothing is somewhat "mocking" all the effort I put into my life. I'm doing my best to at least try, and somehow hold my life together; but all he does is nothing.

There's absolutely no ambition from him, outside of our romantic relationship. He is a great guy, gentle, understanding, romantic and so on, and I do love him. I really do. But that's not enough for a relationship. Especially since I leave college this year, and will probably either get a job or an additional apprenticeship in my degree-related field. Work full time, stress, bitchy co-workers, all the joys that come with work… All while he will continue his NEET style, at least that's what I suspect. I wanna move into my very own apartment, get a job, join the "real" world, and I feel like he's left behind.

So I'm waiting until I have my further career path confirmed, but honestly I feel like breakig up with him, because in the state we're in right now I see zero future. :/

No. 97911

>>97746
Thx for the reassuring thoughts, it's pretty much what i was already thinking, just nice to see it put into better words. I'm pretty much already all of those things though, which is a good reason to be single for a while i guess…

No. 97914

>>97910
Tbh, if he doesn't pull himself out of the NEET lifestyle soon he will be there for fucking ever. You seem like a level-headed young adult with a lot going on, and while breaking up with someone you love is shit, my guess is he's just going to bring you down in the future. Those kinds of relationships don't usually last in the long run anyway. I'm only speaking from personal experience (used to date a guy whom i found out had been a NEET for 10+ yrs), but all the red flags seem to be there. Long time NEETs often bring others down with them.

No. 97918

>>97910
anon you quoted here.

that's a pretty similar situation with my ex. and it didn't work. I was trying to work out what to do after school, and how to get to where I want to be and he was continuing to complain about things in his power to fix (weight gain, living with his parents) without moving towards finding solutions. When the gf is the one with more ambition, you will inevitably end up playing mommy, and if you're the type to worry about being too nagging, then you start walking on eggshells and that isn't a good outcome for a relationship. I would say he was a good guy and everything, but his reaction to the breakup put me off, to say the least. The most I can do now is hope he does better for himself.

I broke it off with him, and my current bf is more put together. It's honestly great. I can pursue what I want/need to and I know I can take my eye off of him while I'm busier and know he'll be ok. Having someone who recognizes and supports your ambition is extremely motivating. If you have tendencies with depression and anxiety, a partner who isn't even trying to overcome the same is a detriment imo.

As that other anon said, a relationship should be an addition to your life. Not a subtraction. Don't let lazy bfs hold you back from being the best you can be.

No. 97933

>>97914
Indeed, and bringing children into this sort of relationship will just be toxic for them and the OP who will be left being the breadwinner, housemaid and mother figure to not only the kids but her partner who needs prompted to do anything.

No. 97941

>>97918
>>97910
Are you me, anons?

I'll preface this by saying that my bf is the sweetest, most caring, most patient, most clever person I've ever met. He's genuinely a great guy and his parents are just as wonderful.

But god fucking damn it he just keeps sabotaging his own attempts at getting ahead in life. He's 23 and still hasn't graduated high school, doesn't want to do anything in life, doesn't want to TRY to do anything that isn't piss easy, he can cook really well but he'd rather live on frozen pizza and macaroni casseroles for the rest of his life. His clothes look like shit, he just doesn't understand the concept of having to do something unpleasant for his own sake. He always complains that we're poor but when I ask him to help me make a meal plan for the week he rolls his eyes and acts like a spoilt teenage girl and looks at me like I'm Satan for dragging him away from his shitty Vsauce videos or video games. I moved to be with him but when I asked him to move with me so we could be together during my exchange year he didn't want to because 'I don't like it there' and 'my parents are here'.

Granted he'll do what I tell him but if I don't boss him around he'll just sit in one spot for a week. Sometimes I'm afraid he's gonna sprout roots in that chair.

No. 97948

My boyfriend has a friend of like idk like 1-2 years that he calls his sister,and it honestly gets on my fucking nerves. They aren't related in the slightest she doesn't talk to him unless he starts the conversation but for whatever reason they're SIBLINGS.
My boyfriend and I have known each other for 8 years and have been dating for 2. I've liked him for a really long time and our relationship is getting serious.
So he mentioned to his "sister" about proposing and he showed me the conversation during an argument and I fucking kid you not she's saying "wow ur moving p quickly" "are you really sure you want to marry her?" and hinting that I was fucking crazy because I have depression. He brings this up again and she's on about "well are you suuurreee" "but youre so young" (mind you she got married at 16)
And this "SIBLING" tried hooking him up with a friend of hers when he and I were already a year into our relationship that was long distance at the time

I've met her a few times irl and she didn't seem to care for me at all. He really wants us to be ~best budz~ but I honestly just want her to fuck right off

No. 97949

>>97914
>Long time NEETs often bring others down with them.
So far I am doing okay, and sometimes his bad example even motivates me tbh. But he does drag me down a lot, and more and more I find excuses why not to see him. The thought of visiting him in his appartment, which almost always is a mess (dirty dishes, clothes everyhwere, leftover food or packaging everywhere), and having to talk about his newest vidya adventures is just depressing. Especially because he could have soooo much more to offer, he knows so much about sience, unlike me he really keeps up with global news and politics, I can have a good discussion with him. But honestly his day is at least 70% video games and internet and so are his talks.

>>97918
He had ambitions, I think. At least enough to get away from his weird, toxic family and move into an own appartment. He also used to have jobs a few years ago. But now, nothing. No money, no ob, and his parents keep paying for all his expenses. And to me the worst thing is, he doesn't even seem to be very bothered by this.
I currently have to live with my parents, and until I can start full time work there is no way to move out. I absolutely hate this situation, but at least I can work part time to save up some money or go out once in a while. If we ever go out, almost always we either pay sepreately or I pay simply because he usually cannot afford to invite me. He would if he had the money, but he has no ambitions to work for his money.

>>97941
I feel you on some level. But even I don't have to boss around my bf that much, and at least he graduated High School. Honestly Anon if he doesn't even move and you constantly have to "boss him around, aka be his mommy, just leave him now. Our bf have a lot in common, but honestly your situation seems a lot worse. Get out while you can, he is absolutely now worth it.

No. 97950

>>97910

Hopefully he'll follow your example and get his life together when you get your career going and your own place.
I don't think you should bring him along though, next thing you know you won't have a boyfriend but a man-child roommate

No. 97973

I'm so caught up with my parents shit and my moms kitchen renovation etc etc etc that I forgot what day it is and now it's too late to cally the guno to get my bc. Now I have to wait until Monday to call. I now nothing bad is going to happen but ffs I'm so tired of doing everything for everyone.

No. 97976

>>97941
>>97949
Maybe, for you two, taking a break might help. Not an outright breakup straightaway since you guys seem to care for these losers. Take a couple weeks off from contacting them and focus on yourselves for a bit. Consider your life and future, and how you feel during that time. Sometimes it's hard to take a necessary objective view of your situation while in the thick of it.

If you feel lighter and more positive and maybe happier when not having to deal with a loser NEET bf holding you back, maybe that's when you should really consider calling it quits.

It's also possible that during this time the bf will do some introspection himself and maybe recognize his issues and want to make a change

No. 97986

I am horribly, horribly bipolar. I've been in and out of hospital on a monthly basis since I got diagnosed last year. I gained 70lbs thanks to the depression and the medication. I'm on ten medications that I take every day - multiple mood stabilizers and antipsychotics.

Two weeks ago they stopped working and I've been in and out of mania and psychosis ever since.

My husband and I are doing everything we can to keep me out of the hospital and my psychiatrist is trying to adjust my meds while keeping me home but it's just so dangerous. If something happens and I'm alone so much could go wrong.

My husband can't take any more time off work to take care of me.

I would just bite the bullet and go to the hospital but it's Friday so I wouldn't see a doctor until Monday, plus my husband can watch over me over the weekend. I'm also afraid of being formed/baker acted/sectioned and not being able to go outside for a smoke or a coffee (they won't accompany you).

I'm just frightened I'm going to go psychotic again and there will be nobody here and I'll try and do my new favorite psychotic "thing" which is running away from home, and totally not paying attention to incoming traffic.

My life is utter shit and has been for a year and nothing is getting better. This illness has taken everything from me.

/rant

No. 98009

I went to a restaurant with my classmates as an end-of-school thing. Held my dad up for 40 minutes waiting to drive me home while he called and called because I couldn't just say the words "I have to go" whilst watching how everyone else was having fun and talking to each other. When I did leave he was understandably furious because he's been fasting and was ~10 minutes late to break his fast. I still didn't get into the group picture.

I've been wanting to move out but he just won't let me because of his traditions. My brother got begged to move out for being a nuisance, if I'm a nuisance too, like I was just now, maybe he'll finally let me actually do what I fucking want.

I feel weird.

No. 98042

>>98009
If you're 18 which you should be posting to this imageboard you must've graduated by now then? You need to start becoming independent. Whether that's going into college and staying in a dorm, getting a job so you can eventually move out, or just joining the military it's about time for you to get out on your own and stop making it so you have to depend on your dad. If you're a legal adult he can't make you do anything unless you aren't able to financially support yourself or if there's some crazy law in the country you're in. I don't know if he finds you to be a nuisance but I think it will be better all around for you to get some independence.

No. 98051

>>98042
Anon, I think she's a muzzie or something. Muslim parents are notorious for being Nazis to their (mostly female) kids and will wreak havoc if she leaves on her own.

No. 98052

There's a guy in my class who's an absolute asshole. He rolls his eyes whenever I make the simplest mistake and always acts really curt towards me. He also has a habit of lecturing me and another girl as if he were our dad but people love him because he's 'fun and sassy' and has lots of daddy's money.

A few days ago I made my bf a cake for his birthday, which looked kinda bad. Bf was overjoyed at the gesture and posted the photo on FB even though I told him not to, but most people were good sports about it. Ten minutes later, the classmate comments 'ewww, what's that?' on the pic.

I don't know what I should do. I don't want to cause drama but at the same time he seems to be taking my silence as compliance and doesn't seem at all uncomfortable with what comes out of his mouth.

No. 98054

>>98052
If he's harassing and generally annoying you, then you should definitely tell him to fuck off. Easier said than done, I know, but it would get him off your back probably.

No. 98063

>>98054
How would I go about doing that? Because I've been meaning to but there's a strong possibility that he'll start playing dumb and say I'm paranoid or something.

No. 98071

>>98063
Sneer at him and say 'don't talk to me', like he's something you found at the bottom of your shoe. Don't try to explain your reasoning to this asshole. He knows exactly what he's doing. Block him on FB too. If he ever talks to you again, pointedly ignore him. He starts lecturing you? Just walk away. Put on your headphones for bonus points.

No. 98116

>>98042
I am 18 yes, living in the UK. I'm hoping to move out for university, I think I'll just get a bank loan for the accommodation/dorm deposit.

>>98051
Yes my dad is Muslim.
He will hate me if/when I move out, for bringing "shame" onto him, disobeying the rules and embarrassing him in front of his Muslim friends.
I've told him this is England, that he should adapt, but he stands by his traditions and rules. My (non religious) mum says she's won him round for things he responded to like this by just doing it and showing him that there's a good side.

At times this all just makes me feel powerless, wanting to sit in my room all day wasting time. I don't want to have to get married to some Muslim guy my dad picked out in order to leave the house (I'm not allowed to move out because girls can't stay away from home at night says dad). But i just feel scared of everything that will happen between my family and me if/when I move out for university.

No. 98118

>>98116
>muslim
>uk
do you wear a hijab?

No. 98120

>>98118

I don't wear a hijab. That's one thing I was given a choice for. Why?

No. 98124

>>98116
Not sure if this is helpful, but I know that some uni dorms give options of living in all-female flats, or no-alcohol flats, etc., so maybe mention this to him? (My friend's dorms gave the option of an all Muslim flat also.)

No. 98145

>>98124
This is why this country's going to the dogs, the old farts just refuse to integrate (and by extension let their kids integrate as well) yet people keep defending their behaviour. I feel bad for all the poor girls who have to put up with this shite.

No. 98151

>>98116
>I am 18 yes, living in the UK. I'm hoping to move out for university, I think I'll just get a bank loan for the accommodation/dorm deposit.

This is a really, really stupid plan. You're eighteen with no income, so you will never be able to get a bank loan big enough to cover this shit. Not to mention you'd be in crippling debt that you'd have to pay back immediately after you left uni. If you don't know this already you've clearly been sheltered as fuck and living on your own is going to be really fucking hard.


This is a viable option for you - Run away from home. Apply for student finance like everyone else, but you claim to be estranged from your parents. But there are a couple of things to bear in mind if you do this; You do not speak to either of your parents AT ALL, EVER for anything as far as student finance are concerned. You can give them disowning you for wanting to pursue your education as a reason, and it's likely no one will question it. They will try and trick you by asking if you have any contact with any of your parents, and you need to say no.

If you go this route you'll get the most money, and you'll have to repay less (They change the proportion of loan to grant depending on your circumstances) You'll also get support and help in other areas. But if you start speaking to your parents again, it's fraud and obviously that has massive consequences.

No. 98161

Massive weebs who drag their children to a foreign country for no other reason than "teh land of muh animus" really, really make me rage.

No. 98163

>>98151
Her family is fucked up and she's sheltered, but that's an equally stupid plan anon. You can't go from totally smothered to not talking to your family at all (if she did that she would essentially be dead to her dad's side of the family as well), that's not sustainable. I am speaking from experience – You can't become totally independent and Westernized overnight, that's unrealistic and setting yourself up for failure.

If you can, original anon, do things that give you a sense of confidence, discipline, and independence. If you can get a job, that's ideal, but if you can't, throw yourself into your school work and social life, anything that will get you out of the house. Accept rides from friends, be involved in extracurriculars, etc. Anything that will get you to not obsess over your father's smothering. I know it's hard to see your friends and peers move out and be free, but your day will come too. Just do your best to get out of your room, both physically and mentally.

No. 98165

>>98163
This is how most people learn to be self sufficient and independent, by moving away from home to go to uni. It's not that big of a leap and there's tons of support available for people in her situation.

If she wants to go to uni she had to apply for a loan from student finance. That is the only way to do it in the UK. If she wants student finance, her parents will have to agree to back her claim and submit all of their financial information. If they do not do this, her application will be denied. The only way to be granted student finance without your parents backing is to have been self sufficient with proof of it for at least three years. (Payslips, jobseekers entitlement letters etc. For every single day) Unless you are estranged from your parents. If she wants to go to uni, has two options; convincing her parents or estranging them. Otherwise she wont be able to finance it.

She's eighteen so she's finished school. (It's not even high school, it's college in the UK) so IDK what you're talking about extracurriculars for. We don't even really have them here anyway.

I'm saying this as someone who had the opportunity to go to uni at eighteen taken away from them. Getting in when you're older is so much fucking hassle. Your college qualifications stop counting, so you have to redo college if you leave it too late. It's not free once you're over eighteen, you can't get government help or finance unless you're over 24. Not to mention that you're somewhat isolated from your peers because of the age gap. Don't let other people ruin your dreams.

No. 98166

>>98165
There's electives though, and depending on where in the UK she lives she may be used to a completely different system than the one you're thinking of because to a lot of people apparently UK = England and friends.

I'm from NI and sometimes I don't get what the fuck half of my friends from England are on about because things are implemented differently in the North. Afaik the Scottish system is completely different from the rest of the UK. There's also multiple different paths she could've taken since not everybody goes to college.

Fwiw I had extracurriculars and took Gaeilge in primary school, so it's not set in stone or anything.

No. 98168

>>98166
That's true enough, but all the student finance stuff is the same regardless of country. UCAS is what changes depending on the country. The hassle still increases exponentially the older you get though, that's true of everywhere.

And let's be real, there are more people in London than there are in Scotland, and we know she's brown. 9/10 chance she's in England, somewhere in the south.

>Fwiw I had extracurriculars and took Gaeilge in primary school, so it's not set in stone or anything.


I assumed (My bad) that she was talking about clubs, sports and shit like that, which are really really uncommon all over the UK. Plus school is out, so it's unlikely that they're running anyway.

No. 98184

>>98165
I think this is the girl in the uni thread on /g/ and it sounds like she has already been accepted to uni, and just wants to move out of her parent's home for it. Maybe live on campus or somewhere nearby instead of commuting.

The uni is in the same town she lives in already so it makes sense for parents to just want their kid to stay home. It's cheaper that way too.

Anyway, running away from home and estranging yourself is a fucking awful idea given 1) how sheltered you are and 2) how unbudgingly religious your dad is. This will just reaffirm his traditions and make it even harder for him to move towards becoming Westernized. Your mother has good advice, do it, but do it positively to show him the good side. Running away will paint the whole thing as a big fat negative, and you won't ever recover that relationship, at least for a very long time. That other anon had good advice with looking for all-female housing, no-alcohol housing, all-Muslim housing etc.

I don't know how uni in the UK works, but if student groups are a thing try looking for a Muslim one or a female Muslim one and reach out to them for advice. I'm sure someone in that group will have a relatable experience.

Good luck anon

No. 98193

>>98184
Finance and uni are completely different things here. You're accepted or rejected way before the university knows whether you've been approved for loans and whatnot. Just because she's been accepted already doesn't mean she's applied for student loans yet.

>he uni is in the same town she lives in already so it makes sense for parents to just want their kid to stay home. It's cheaper that way too.


It's actually not. You get more loans and less grants (Grants are completely free) if you stay at home. Staying at home for uni is just postponing the cost by giving yourself more future debt and robbing yourself of valuable life experience, which she needs because she's sheltered. The solution to becoming unsheltered is not hiding away, it's dropping yourself in at the deep end. Uni is basically your last chance in life to fuck up without it having any real consequences, it's your last chance to make mistakes and learn from them.

Universities in the UK only really offer places in halls (on campus accomodation) for first years, unless you have extreme circumstances or are somehow active in the community (Depends on the university and the halls in question for this though) So she's also throwing away her only chance of getting easy, cheap housing hassle free, with stipulations like no alcohol, all female, only muslims etc. Not gonna happen in second and third year, and she's probably going to be stuck living at home if she chooses to in first year because 99% of the time people live with their first year flatmates.

Honestly her family and her dad sound shit. Why would you want a relationship with someone who thinks you deserve less rights because of your sex? Because you share some DNA? It's fucking stupid and it shouldn't stop you from cutting toxic people out of your life. Family isn't that important. If more people disowned their shitty families instead of clinging to horrible people, people would be happier. Realistically her dad isn't going to change, people who grow up in cultures where they're taught that certain people are inferior rarely ever unlearn it. If they did, we wouldn't be plagued by racist, sexist, homophobic old people.

No. 98350

>My drug-addict brother has stolen $3,500 and sold many of my possesions and my family won't let me call the police to report it
>I can't move out or anything because I am underaged

I actually had to hold myself back bc I felt myself reaching for something to stab him with

No. 98367

>>98350
Just call the police, your parents cant do shit if you just do it.

No. 98397

>>98350
That's called enabling. Call the cops.

No. 98410

I was really upset yesterday due to it being Father's Day since my dad fucked off to another country when I was 10, and I haven't seen him for more than a year even though he finds plenty of time for my brother and half-sister. My mum's done nothing but yell at me for 2 days straight and then yelled at me for crying, hasn't even asked me how I'm doing. My depression and ED just crashed down on me like a ton of bricks this week after being manageable for the past few months and I can't even be bothered to 'get better' anymore.

No. 98441

File: 1466441816119.jpg (75.14 KB, 750x549, 1tBbsIn.jpg)

Dear Landlords,

Please give us a break.
I'll admit trying to live in one of the more expensive places in the state fresh out of college is pricey. I understand the dickings that come from choosing that sort of area and convenience, gladly. Why do you need a $3000 deposit? Why can't we do first month and a half, or two months? God damn.
It's just hard saving up at this point. Actually, no it isn't.
I am not good with money. I bring home probably 1200 a month. That could cover rent in its entirety and my boyfriend could cover food and cigarettes and our vice bullshit we need to cut back on. We could live here, but the deposit will set us back so hard I'm scratching my head.

I know I just need to work harder. Or sign up for affordable housing. I'm reluctant to sign up for food stamps but it would help. I don't want to because we buy cigarettes and weed and could easily afford it if we didn't.

No. 98448

>>98441
Is the deposit going to even cover the first month's rent/ are you going to get it back at the end if you don't fuck the place up? Maybe things are different where I live but that landlord seems like a total asshole

No. 98462

File: 1466449164521.jpg (11.35 KB, 518x345, 1447176502259.jpg)

>>98448

Most apartments within the price range (under $1000/mo) where I live ask for first month's rent, last month's rent, and a deposit equal to a month of rent… so fucking 3 months of rent before I can sign a lease. If they accept us on all other grounds, I still need $3000 dollars.

I have a credit score above 600, but the third party companies that do the work for the private property management companies want a score of at least 720 OR a co-signer..

Also, application fees can range from $20 to $35, and they're non-refundable, and you need to also pay that amount for your co-signer application.
So my boyfriend and I would, in most cases in the city, have to pay an additional $100 on top of the deposit of more than $2500. 3 months of rent just to get into a shitty building.

We've found some other places, it's just harder to find, some aren't as close to our places of work. I'm still confident we'll find something but I'd like to just get the hell out now.

No. 98465

File: 1466449461135.jpg (64.13 KB, 640x640, 1456583888535.jpg)

>working almost three jobs to take care of family with dad
>still living with my family
>26 year old virgin with only one gf that cheated on me
>was studying to be a teacher
>college on hold because no money
>no luck with girls because I'm fat(keep eating like shit because of my schedule) and depressed/tired as hell from working and have no time to take care of myself, also ugly
>no game thanks to working all the time since middle school
>if by some miracle a girl comes to like me I feel like I don't deserve any of it and don't want to make her unhappy with my shitty life
>neck deep in denbts thanks to dad
>lost all my drive to do anything
>feel like this'll be my whole life
>only entertainment I get is browsing and shitposting on imageboards on commute
>love my family too much to leave and start over

come sweet death

No. 98467

>>98441

Just swallow your pride and sign up for food stamps for a while. It's not a death sentence and it doesn't mean you're a leech, but they make life so much easier while you get back on your feet after all those expenses. You don't want to get into an accident and be screwed, or dip into savings, just for rent. Food stamps are like a seat belt, that's what they're there for. :)

No. 98468

>>98465
>if by some miracle a girl comes to like me I feel like I don't deserve any of it and don't want to make her unhappy with my shitty life

Same here anon. I'd probably be best for you to work on that before trying to get another gf. I've got a(n internet) bf and it's made pretty much every insecurity I've had at least 10 times worse. He makes me the happiest I've ever been in my life, but at the same I felt the worst I've ever felt towards my body and can't go a day without thinking about how much better off he'd be with someone else. I can't fix myself until I'm 21 though (when silicone implants become available) so maybe you might have better luck. I know losing weight will help you a ton, it definitely did for me. It does take a while though I felt just as fat and disgusting the whole way through until I got really close to my goal, but other than then the psychological benefits it's been proven to help with depression. Also ignore any robot shitposters like >>98466.

No. 98469

File: 1466450845637.jpg (92.42 KB, 423x951, 1432969249952.jpg)

>>98468

I want someone in my life, I'm lonely, I want affection but at the same time I don't wanna fuck someone's life up at the same time. I just want to feel happy, debt free and healthy but guess it's not happening soon. I've been naturally depressed since forever but poverty and working non stop without any fun is killing me lately, I keep waking up at night screaming like a madman, cry out of nowhere, keep binge drinking shitty cheap booze with anti depressants. I can't handle this anymore, I'm fucking going insane and there no one and nothing to save me, not even myself.

No. 98477

Today was my first day at work and I could've sworn I heard my boss talking shit behind my back.

Once she didn't see me come in and asked another girl 'So what is that Anon like?' and not two hours later a coworker introduced himself to me and as I was leaving he asked her something about me, she said something (I was already out the door so couldn't hear well) and he was like 'aww don't be like that'.

I really hope I'm misinterpreting things but if not it's gonna be a long year.

No. 98496

>>98469
Stop binge drinking. It will be hard but make that your first priority. You're wasting money that could be used for better purposes and alcohol is a fucking depressant. It's just making you feel even worse than you need to

No. 98525

File: 1466501945400.png (55.92 KB, 166x205, 1466491895864.png)

>>98496

Lately i can't sleep in peace without it, I either wake up because of a nightmare or just can't sleep for hours. Stress is killing me slowly and eating my mind from inside.

No. 98534

>>98477
I know what that's like, I've had coworkers/a boss talk shit about me behind my back at work

I really hope that isn't the case for you though, anon, and that you're just being a bit paranoid, which I think is normal when you start a new job. surely she must have been impressed with you if you got the job, right? try to stay positive and not dwell or worry too much

No. 98554

>>98525
Okay we get it… your life sucks and you don't want to change anything about it

just shut up or kill yourself already

No. 98557

>>98554

Actually you know what, that sounds like a good idea, I've been thinking about this for a long time and tried couple of times and failed. I'm gonna do it for seriously this evening, not like I have anything to look forward to.

No. 98560

>>98557

Just fucking do it, no one will miss a loser robot like you. Fucking waste of resources.

No. 98562

File: 1466531032717.png (79.32 KB, 170x260, 1440660673473.png)

>>98560
>implying he'll do it
He'll just cry himself to sleep like every other worthless, spineless faggot

No. 98567

>>98562
>>98560
>>98554

>guy works his ass off for his family

>depressed and tired from his life
>call a him a worthless spineless faggot and tell him to kill himself

Did I take a wrong turn and ended up r9k or something? Why are you guys so angry at him anyways I don't understand. He actually works and trying to do something from what he wrote, doesn't seem like a robot to me.

No. 98577

>>98567

It's okay, things will turn out good hopefully. I'm gonna beat this shitty depression one day.

No. 98584

>>98567

because people are tired of robots coming in threads wallowing in self pity as they call all women whores.

No. 98589

>Has work potluck lunch, plans on bringing chips and picking up a jar of salsa or something on my way.
>Mom insists on making something.
>I tell her not to.
>She does anyway and makes way too much (whole large crockpot of queso. There's only, like, a dozen people who came to this)
>gets mad that a dent was barely made in it and makes it my fault… even though I told her NOT TO MAKE ANYTHING.

Like, I knew this would happen. This is why I wanted to do shit my way but that's never the right answer to her because I can never do anything right.
[spoilers: I can. I can do a lot of things correctly… except clearly move out. I'm working on that, though.]

No. 98612

>>98584

This thread is for venting and I didn't called anyone a whore.

No. 98620

No one wished me happy birthday today.

:(

No. 98621

File: 1466596898591.gif (77.31 KB, 475x400, for anon.gif)

>>98620
Happy birthday anon!! ♥

No. 98622

Goddamn. Uncle wakes me up and its 6:30 am because he's ranting upstairs like a neckbeard, he's around 60.

>Women only choose the top 10% of men

>Top 10% are rich, strong, good looking,etc.(Chads!)
>So now they dont pick the nerdier weaker men
> internet makes this worse because they can now choose the best guys on facebook
>All this is why the traditional nuclear family is destroyed and young people and getting married

Its bad enough him, my dad, and my cousin were up til 3am last night talking loudly and I could barely get to sleep. I got in on the bus at 12am too. Shut the fuck up.

No. 98623

>>98621
Thank you anon =) You're the best.

No. 98624

>>98622
lol. Like he would settle for a fat legbeard over a top 10% woman? These asses need to step up their game instead of wallowing in their neckbeardiness.

No. 98625

>>98620
Happy Birthday!

No. 98626

>>98624
Exactly. My aunt made that point and he was like "No its not the same!!11!" He's been married before and has had plenty of girlfriends, so idk why he's ranting. They fact that he hasn't gotten remarried is probably due to his shitty personality(if thats why he's ranting I'm not sure, could be him complaining about millenials). Either way he is way too intense and constantly debates with people and interrogates people over insignificant shit. Dealing with this shit for the next 24-72 hours is going to be irritating, kill me now

No. 98627

>>98625
Thank you <3

No. 98628

>>98465
Im sorry you have to go through this anon. Depression is a bitch, I know how you feel. Have you tried taking anything for it yet? You should definitely try some kind of medication or even supplements. Also focus on working on yourself before getting a gf(starting a hobby, working out, etc), you should at least be satisfied with yourself, a gf can't fix that for you.

No. 98630

File: 1466601497289.gif (435.02 KB, 500x339, qw3r32r534.gif)


No. 98634

>>98630
<3

Polite sage lol. Also, as soon as you anons started wishing me happy birthday, I got two messages from people I care very much about out :)

No. 98636

File: 1466603785732.jpg (33.08 KB, 651x512, 1466287738902.jpg)

>>98628

Thank you so much at least you didn't told me to kill myself, I've been taking efexor xr since November I kinda get better(don't get suicidal anymore) I mostly feel frustrated. I'm trying to lose weight(lost 25 kg), trying to go back to music and astronomy again but my schedule is so packed with work I barely have time for them. I don't want a girlfriend at this moment, of course it'll be cool but I'm broke and too depressed for a relationship right now. It'll be just suffering for the poor girl. I used to be pretty good at playing drums, released some demos with my band in the past but no time for that now heh.

No. 98637

I have a unending urge to quit my medication, ive been on like 8 different ones in my life and i just feel like it isnt working. I was 15 when i started and im 23 now. Maybe i should just deal with the crazy instead of numbing myself. I feel so detached from everything, like i care about nothing.

No. 98642

Why does every autist neckbeard have a whiny high pitched voice? Is it genetic or something?

No. 98646

>>98642

Low test

No. 98648

>>98646
I think you're being sarcastic but this makes sense. The autistic part perplexes me a bit though. I thought there was a theory that autistic brains are just extremely "male" brains? Which might have something to do with testosterone? idk, talking out of my ass here.

No. 98649

>>98642
Impaired speech intonation is pretty typical among autists.

No. 98651

>>98648

Testestorone makes the sound deeper, low test = annoying girly voice

No. 98756

I'm on a peak hour train, it's raining buckets, and I'm so fucking angry right now. This dumb blonde basic bitch (who was carrying a soooo expensive MK Michael Kors bag) closes her umbrella as she's getting on and SHAKES it onto the people behind her. Why?? We're all wet as it is but would it be so hard just to stay back and shake it off, or shake it to the side? And this dumb old bitch was blocking the door which is only as wide as one person, and she had the fuckin gall to look bashful about it. Then get off the fucking tram and come back on instead of holding EVERYONE up?? Next we have autismo man, likely a robot of some kind, who kept throwing me looks because the tram is packed like a tin of sardines and I'm invading his precious personal space. :'( Boo fucking hoo, if you care about your personal space, don't fucking take public transport, and don't take it at peak hour on a rainy day? He's even got white hairs, life must be so difficult for your stinky ass. This isn't even my worst experience with public transport but everyone is soaking wet and we want to go home, show some consideration. The driver keeps having to tell people to stop sitting on the stairs at the doorway too, at every stop over and over. The tram is clearly full, fuck off.

No. 98766

File: 1466680673327.png (1.37 MB, 1080x1920, Screenshot_20160623-141014.png)

It's been so freaking hot lately I'm fucking melting when I'm going to work, report says it's always 32-33°'s but I swear its 40 or something and this fucking high humidity doesn't help.

No. 98775

>>98766
Heard it's hotter in Constantinople

No. 98778

>>98766
oh god yes, the weather is horrible
I only need 15min to get to the gym and I'm already soaked in sweat. Fuck summer tbh

No. 98780

>>98778
The summer is the reason I'm glad I have a gym membership. If I were running outside, I feel like I'd legit die because of the heat and humidity.

No. 98782

File: 1466690490847.jpg (4.84 MB, 4608x3456, 1.jpg)

>>98775

It's been hotter lately.

>>98780

I have to walk to everywhere to lose weight because I have no time for gym, I literally wronged water off my t-shirt today. I'm gonna start carrying a spare one with me.

No. 98783

File: 1466690851174.png (1.24 MB, 1080x1920, Screenshot_20160623-170650.png)

>>98782

Hell I was in Antalya for a business trip couple of weeks ago it was even hotter in May, around 34. Can't imagine how it is now.

No. 98788

I'm sick of being told that I shouldn't "chase money" when it comes to employment.

Sorry, asshats, but my parents aren't affluent or wealthy and unlike you I will not be inheriting tons of money from them. I actually have to save and plan for the future and can't spend tons of money traveling the world with idiot manchild boyfriends who have been similarly coddled by their diplomat/attorney/investor/etc parents. I have a 4 year degree from a so-called prestigious university and am not going to settle for a $30-40K year job that I'm "passionate" about.

Good for you that you're okay working at a non-profit and slumming it with 3 roommates in a mediocre city apartment because you get to go home to your parents' mansion a couple times a year, but I'm going to choose a lucrative field for myself.

No. 98790

>>98788

This, people who say this shit never experienced poverty.

No. 98792

>>98788
>anon sweetie, money doesn't buy happiness :)
>wow those poor people… they're so poor but they're so happy
Fuck them and their silver spoon bullshit. You go get those fat stacks, anon. Not everyone has the privilege of ~doing what you love~. Doing what you love doesn't put food on the table or money in the fucking bank.

No. 98795

>>98790
I wasn't poor growing up. We never went hungry or cold or naked or uneducated - spent money on the right things. But my parents were very much working class. We went on vacation two or three times during my entire childhood up through young adulthood, the fanciest of which was a single trip to Disneyland. lol.

>>98792
Warning for political rant: I can't stand people who patronize "the poor" that way. Where I live, they ride the SJ train and think that voting for a particular party automatically makes them more enlightened than anyone else.

No. 98802

>>98788
I hear this. I work in a creative field but my aim has always been getting more and more money for it.

I focus on my work a LOT of the time and people (mostly friends) keep wondering why I skip jobs every year and a bit and why I can't stay in the same one for years like them. Staying in a job for that long is a deathrattle to your career. You have to keep moving to get a better pay grade.

But you go. Get that money. Don't listen to those idiots who want to hold you back.

No. 99149

File: 1466778222223.png (595.13 KB, 1365x1600, 1460086183478.png)

>out with friend in town
>meet up with people from uni
>start talking with a guy who I sort of know
>we get along fine, I already know what kind of person he is
>since we're both really drunk and I was in a "fuck it" mood, we start making out with me as the instigator
>up until this point I'm a kissless virgin and have only gotten off porn
>quickly gets very touchy feely, with him grabbing my ass and getting his hands in my pants
>decide to stop at that point since it was a bit too much for me
>tfw I feel conflicted
On one hand I really liked it and it felt really nice, but on the other hand I'm upset that I lost my kiss virginity in such a quick way. And afterwards, for whatever reason, I felt like I was being promiscuous and slutty, when I have lewd or sensual thoughts literally all the time.
Luckily I can save my actual virginity for someone I really love, but I just don't know how or what I'm supposed to feel about this

No. 99150

>>99149
Kind of fucked up.

No. 99164

>>99149
How about feeling like a normal human being? Because that sounds like what you are. Romanticism is garbage.

No. 99177

>>99164
Romanticism of what, though? Virginity? I'm not a pure Hail Mary, but I just feel like losing something so simple like my kissless-ness was all for nothing, and my friends tell me that they wish they had lost their actual virginity to someone they didn't end up having an awful breakup/experience with
I'm feeling some kind of feeling of guilt for whatever reason

No. 99188

Something's wrong with my cat. Something seems to be stuck in his throat or he has an infection etc. His breathing seems fine, he just gags if he lowers his head to eat or someone touches his throat. But he looks so done and tired.
I literally have to beg my parents to take him to the vet but both are saying to just wait it out. If he was a dog we would've already gone yesterday, but no "it's just a cat".
It's my birthday next Sunday and I guess I'll ask them to take him to the vet as a "gift" for me. My mother said she might gift me eyelash extensions or some shit that costs around 500, which could cover all or half of the expenses, depending on what's wrong. I know she would be pissed as fuck because she doesn't like animals. I also still have some savings left after losing my job. I hope my boyfriend won't be mad at me for not getting him anything for our 5 year anniversary, but it's worth a shot.

No. 99190

>>99188

Where do you live? My cat was an old stray, found him in the street with a broken leg when I was in college when I was broke, took him to our colleges vet department and they took care of him for free. Also give him his shots with really good prices, this happened in Turkey though.

No. 99193

>>98350
Please don't tell us you're underage. I'm not banning you due to the fact that you actually contribute on the site.
Your post, at least, was ambiguous enough to leave room for interpretation. ;)

No. 99195

>>99190
I'm from the Balkans. Honestly vet stations seem to be somewhat rare here lol I'm from a small town and colleges etc aren't anywhere close, sadly. But thank you for the idea

No. 99196

>be Eastern European
>studying abroad in N. Europe
>boyfriend is N. European
>poor so I got a job as a cleaner cause that's the only place that would hire me
>complain about it to bf's mom
>complain how many people don't want to hire me because I'm very obviously not a local
>'well anon, my cousin used to work as a cleaner too and she got married to a millionaire :) you see, it's not the end of the world!'
I know she meant well but god damn I saw red at that moment
It's not like bf's friends aren't already actively shunning me for being his 'Slav mail order bride'. It's like I'm only seen as 'Bf's girlfriend' and not my own person. Even when I do try to make friends with locals as soon as they hear my bf's a native they jump to the conclusion that I came here to leech off of him and stop talking to me like it's beneath them.

No. 99197

>>99195
How come? In Serbia they're everywhere and I'm from a small town of barely 50k heads. People like to bring their hamsters and guinea pigs there a lot too.

No. 99198

>>99195

I see, well do some google fu and look for vets who work for free. We have loads around here that treat pets for free or for a low price.

No. 99224

>>99177
I mean, sure, find someone cool and own the experience, but I promise you, if you wait for "the one" ,you are going to wonder for the rest of your life.

No. 99225

>>99196
You have a Scandinavian boyfriend, it can't be all bad.

Is he cute?

No. 99226

>>99225
He's alright. Seen better looking guys back home though, but he's nice and doesn't treat me like his replacement mommy unlike my male compatriots so I'm not complaining.

No. 99235

>>99226
>replacement mommmy

that's kind of cute.

No. 99237

File: 1466812314492.jpg (15.73 KB, 227x297, 1466806090498.jpg)

>>99235
>TFW no mommy of

Anyways I can't seem to fall asleep tonight, I'm anxious as fuck for some reason. Don't even feel sleepy or tired and I have to go to work in 4 hours.

No. 99244

>>99235
>replacement mommy
>cute
gtfo robot fuck no one wants you

No. 99259

Not much of a vent but I miss my boyfriend.

(We're in an LDR)

No. 99279

File: 1466856643183.jpg (27.85 KB, 372x306, tumblr_static_daniiibb.jpg)

I miss early Tumblr - like 2010/11/12 Tumblr. It was before everyone and their mother cared about social justice, before fatties invaded, and before all of this demigender foxkin whatever was created.

There were "quality blogs" that were filled with blog rates and where the (old) "Tumblr girl" stereotype came from and everyone had a icon like pic related. Then there were One Direction and "Superwholock" blogs but I wasn't really into that.

I guess I'm truly too old for Tumblr now and I'm feeling nostalgic.

No. 99284

>>99226
>>99244
>mommy gf
Absolutelydisgusting.pdf

No. 99321

>>99279

I miss it too. I used to have a lot of fun befriending people who were in the same fandoms as I and just talking to them about our favorite characters and ships. It seems like back then the worst thing you could do was make a post about a ship you hate and then put it in the tag, now if you don't agree that X is a transgender asexual with autism and ADD you're a gross straight white cis ableist.

My friends I have known for years have turned into SJW fictionkin and fakebois and it's so bizarre to see. I want to make new friends who have the same interests but it feels like everyone has fallen for the tumblr SJW trap. All I can do is hope that in a few years all the transtrending and stuff will calm down.

Sorry I started venting in reply to your post.

No. 99323

>>99279

Yeah i agree when it was harry potter, galaxy prints and triangles

I actually made friends back then now its full of weirdos and e hungry famous people

No. 99383

>>99279
Something that existed 4-6 years ago isn't that old…nostalgia for something so recent?

No. 99385

>>99279
I was a 1D blog in 2011/2012, it was sooo much fun. People just were on their to fangirl and talk about how HAWT their favorite member was. People didn't get so butthurt and take shit so seriously. It's ironic also that on Tumblr in 2012 people saying "nigga" every other word was a trend, only for people to get angry about it the following year or so.

No. 99387

>>99383
Culture moves so fast these days, let the anons mourn

No. 99459

I'm legit considering ending a friendship or two.

I don't get along with someone my friend likes to hang with. This person has said some really mean shit to me and my friend has gone completely blind to it. She thinks it's all me and is mad I won't say much when this person is around. I won't say much or remove myself from the conversation because the person in question likes to stir shit all the time. If I try to stand up for myself in any way it becomes a huge issue and i get sick of it.
Now my friend is calling me a liar because I won't give her the answers she wants. She is legit pissed that I was watching youtube on my tv while she was in a call with my sister yet none of them bothered to ask me to turn it down which I gladly would have. She thinks I was only doing that cause that person I hate was in the call as well which of course wasn't true but she can't believe me for some damn reason. Later she messaged me randomly about it long after it happened and then started accusing me of shit when i gave her a straight answer.
My friend started messaging me about why i don't like said person and sent people to ask why to basically see if i would shit talk which of course i didn't.

When i finally got fed up and broke down from all the questioning i end up getting told i'm always lying or something which…idk where she got that from since i really haven't lied. My friend also told me i had multiple personalities and to get help(i don't have it). When i said i don't she went all "it's ok no need to be ashamed. You just need help" all because i broke down and felt like trash from all the questioning and lack of understanding on her part.

I really want to punch my friend in the face and the person they roll with. Like…idk what's going on but something has got to give because i can't tolerate bullshit like this anymore.

No. 99470

>>99459
Why are you friends with any of these assholes in the first place? Sounds like your "friend" is gaslighting you. Tell all of them to go suck dicks and find some better people to hang out with, anon. Don't put up with the abuse.

No. 99476

>>99470
Idek why i put up with it myself. I guess i was just trying to be a good "friend" by tolerating the bullshit but boy was i wrong.
They would get mad if i did the shit they do to me to them and i'm honestly done. There are way better people out there so i guess i will dump them. Thanks anon. I needed to get that off my chest so bad.

No. 99480

>>99459
>>99470
>gaslighting
>multiple personalities

jesus christ sure is tumblr in here

No. 99482

>>99480
Ok, but gaslighting is real, whereas multiple personalities are not.

No. 99488

>>99480
Eh. The so called friend got real sjw so they wanna play phsychologist a lot just cause they read up on it. I know i don't have the shit they say i do cause they're not doctors. I can see where tumblr comes in at tho kek

No. 99501

>>99279
I really wish tumblr just had became the new livejournal without any social justice involved. What a waste of a place that could had just been fine.

No. 99653

Why are people such idiots? I just sold something over Mercari and got a bad rating because USPS didn't deliver the item as fast as the faggot wanted. Serves me right for selling there.

No. 99669

I went to Uni in the city and commuted to and from my apartment throughout the 4 yrs, so never dormed. Until now that is. It's awkward as fuck.

So the suite I'm staying in has 2 rooms, with 2 people per room. My roommate never arrived so I'm by myself which I enjoy, since I tend to go crazy about other peoples needs and will do something like staying awake till 3 am if you need someone to talk to and getting up at 5 am for my own responsibilities.

Anyway, thats not the point. I don't like to socialize all day, it sucks the energy out of me. Despite that, I feel incredibly guilty for not wanting to go out and enjoy the city while I'm here (till August). I don't want to spend money though and I didn't bring any partying clothes or a lot of outfits to hang out in, so I also feel self conscious. Granted, I know I'm not the only one, but I can only speak for how I'm feeling.

I'm a huge introvert and also get anxious about how people perceive me, so eventually I feel like I run out of "interesting" things to talk about, namely things I've done or people I'm involved with (including friendships) because I don't go out much and I don't have friends, just acquaintances for that very reason.

Idk, people seem to really like me at first and then it's like they regret it because i'm too quiet, which is the opposite of what I'm like on the first day we meet.

I've been thinking of just being really subdued at first, how I used to be, but I recall changing because people thought I didn't like them and missed out on chances to make friends.

No. 99670

Yesterday I met a black girl that called every latino guy she saw Jorge and it really rubbed me the wrong way. I think its because she was serious and not trying to be funny, basically purposely discriminating. I wanted to tell her she'd lose her shit if someone went "Ok Tyrone" whenever they saw a black person that wasn't walking fast enough because they were walking hand in hand with their toddler aged child. I stayed quiet though because I didn't want to have that conversation with her.

No. 99686

>>99670
Don't you know? Black people can do whatever they want, and nothing they do is wrong. Bringing up the fact that what she was doing was wrong would have just resulted in a massive Chimpout from her, and an Ebonics ridden lecture of how she didn't do nothin' and you better kiss your black ass.

No. 99687

>>99686
*HER black ass

No. 99694

>>99686
You mean ghetto black people.

No. 99697

File: 1467102623737.jpg (751.09 KB, 1265x1920, 1466987643741.jpg)

>>99694
The fucking majority of them are ghetto if you use that definition.

No. 99702

Im half black myself and that side of the black community really puts me down.

No. 99710

>quit uni this year
>hated my degree, want to go into a trade to do more actual work and less studying
>apply for several appenticeships
>mfw so far I haven't gotten anything
>mfw no one wants to hire me
Right now I have a retail job but it is only part time, and obvioulsy it's not the work I want to continue to do. But I already asked around with family/friends, but no one wants to employ a drop out student of course. And I already have a shitty part time job, so there's no need to try another low entry retail/barista job.

Most appentriceships start July/August, so I don't think I'm lucky enough this year. But next year I'll be 23, who wants to take me then? How can I spend one year until I try again when all I can do in the meantime is shitty low entry jobs? Idk if any of these places where I applied would accept me as an intern. And even then, idk if anyone would want to give me the apprenticeship next year.
And I don't really want to go back to university. I really don't I hated it so much and it makes me so miserable every single day I had to go to classes.

I work shitty low entry jobs. I still have to live at home, because a part time job will never pay enough to move out. I don't have a degree, and I can't even get an apprenticeship despite my good grades.
All I want is a job, a small place of my own to live and just a tiny bit of my own space in this world. But despite all I'm trying, it seems i will be stuck at home with a shitty job, no money, no future, absolutely nothing.
I feel so worthless. I feel like utter human garbage.

No. 99714

>>99710
I know this isn't going to help but please try to remember a lot of people are in the same boat these days. Living with parents is becoming more of the norm, take some pride in that you have a job and at least even though you don't want to, you can move upwards with that, you aren't trash.

No. 99736

I've been emotionally scarred by this thing that happened over a week ago. A douchebag in his car in front of ours hit a tiny kitten on the head with his wheels and when I turned back to see it, it was spazzing and flouncing and flopping around in the most horrifying, anatomy-defying way possible, like a fish out of water. I can't stop replaying the memory in my head and I've had nightmares.

Also has anyone ever felt like they kind of.. don't exist? like you're just an NPC in someone else's game? All I can think about are existential questions and worry myself sick over them, when at the end of the day, it doesn't matter at all.

No. 99744

I know that everyone has differing issues on trans topics but I need to rant about this, I'm not looking for an argument.

I'm so frustrated seeing the people around me say that they're trans just because they don't fit into gender roles or they want to get sjw brownie points. And the fact that stories of "trans" kids on puberty blockers and other hormones are becoming all too common.

I believe that trans people do exist but it's a very small amount and they're genuinely mentally ill and should have to have therapy before they take hormones. I also believe that there's a lot more gender non-conforming people out there than people think, either because they're calling themselves trans or they give into the pressure to fit into gender roles. I wish being gender non-conforming was seen as normal and acceptable and that people wouldn't tell gnc people that they'll eventually be feminine/masculine or that they're automatically trans. Also, people illegally obtaining hormones makes me sick because there's so many risks that people don't realize.

I've always been very androgynous and actually thought I was trans a few times because the people around me (including my therapist!) tried to convince me I was. Like fuck off, I'm just not feminine - I never have been and I probably never will be.

/rant

No. 99752

Omg read receipts kill me. I know there are a million different reasons someone could read/see your message and not respond, but it makes me panic when I've asked a question or made a comment that called for a response and I see that you got the message a while ago but didn't respond.

Personally I don't open up a message until I'm ready to respond, so that the other person doesn't think I'm ignoring them.

No. 99753

>>99752

Same, honestly. I try my best to read the message when I want to respond. I know that so many things could happen but my stress goes through the roof when I see someone sees my message and doesn't respond. Or I see they signed in on fb and they never replied. I sit and fidget and worry.

No. 99767

>>99744
I have no idea where you guys live, but I'm below the Bible belt and if people even think you might be gay, you get crucified. I've never heard of any trans people irl because you can only imagine how much shit they'd get.

No. 99771

>>99736
Kitty was probably dead almost immediately. But cats often spazz out after or during their death. I forgot why but there's a scientific explanation on why their muscles go all crazy. So what you witnessed was just natural reactions.
I'm sorry you saw it though, seeing animals dying or in pain is always horrible.

>Also has anyone ever felt like they kind of.. don't exist? like you're just an NPC in someone else's game? All I can think about are existential questions and worry myself sick over them, when at the end of the day, it doesn't matter at all.

Have you posted this before? I remember some anon saying similar things but I cannot remember where.
If you get all existential and stuff you could always argue that nothing we ever do or think abut matters. Each one of us is just a tiny, tiny ball of atoms in a universe so giant and a timeline so endless that it's impossible to comprehend. Last year I went to a planetarium, and the more they zoomed out erth, our solar system and even the galaxies all I could feel was an overwhelming sense of nothingness.

But in the end, you still have to live your life anyway. If you cannot stop worrying, and feel detached from life, I'd really suggest you talk to a professional about it.

No. 99773

>>99771

It's a bit more comforting knowing it's a natural reaction, anon. Thank you. It was still just a horrifying thing to see, especially with nobody else even stopping. And he was so tiny. I guess I'm extra sensitive because only this October we found the tiniest stray kitty in our building and we adopted him, and thinking that it could have been him if he didn't find him just really upsets me.

I haven't posted this before, no. But I guess existentialism is a common issue. Sometimes I just accept it, other times it's like a huge realisation and I freak out about it.

No. 99774

>>99771

It's a bit more comforting knowing it's a natural reaction, anon. Thank you. It was still just a horrifying thing to see, especially with nobody else even stopping. And he was so tiny. I guess I'm extra sensitive because only this October we found the tiniest stray kitty in our building and we adopted him, and thinking that it could have been him if he didn't find him just really upsets me.

I haven't posted this before, no. But I guess existentialism is a common issue. Sometimes I just accept it, other times it's like a huge realisation and I freak out about it.

No. 99778

>>99753
I always think that I said something horribly wrong and now they hate me lol. And I start analyzing every word I typed…

No. 99782

>>99778

oh yeah, and then you feel worse because it's said and posted and your stomach flips out at the thought of their reaction.

No. 99797

File: 1467147709026.jpg (6.75 KB, 184x184, 1463610953837.jpg)

Finally making an appointment with a psychotherapist about potentially having ADD. Can't take it anymore. Unless I feel the pressure of failure related to a task, it is extremely hard to do the task. This includes activities that I find fun. I don't know if I'm depressed or just need to take a vitamin in the morning but I'm sick of feeling like I'm wasting my brain. I'm just a big failure and waste.

No. 99799

I can't take living in my country anymore, this is the second time I got away from a bombing just by pure luck in this year. I think I'm gonna die in the third one, what's the best way to immigrate to US or western Europe? I look like an average white person and speak 3 languages, have a teaching/translation degree.

No. 99800

>>99797
This is ME. Except every professional I've seen refuses to put me on stimulants. I've resorted to vitamins and other dubiously legal means but no real result.

>>99799
I hope I don't sound facetious, but you may want to consider getting married.

No. 99801

>>99800

That may be a bit hard because I'm not attractive and have a depressive/negative personality so it's unlikely.

No. 99803

>>99801
Well I don't know you anon, but it could be worth a try to start making international friends somewhere. What are your hobbies? Are you at all in academia? It's obviously a long term thing but if you're desperate to get out of Turkey, it is one thing that you could pursue.

I'm not aware of any professional programs or fellowships or anything of that nature, maybe another anon can help.

No. 99804

>>99803

I have loads of friends in france5, Germany and Portugal. Hobbies are mainly /out/ stuff, astronomy, cooking and literature and usual weeb stuff. Thinking of doing my masters but don't k ow if I can get the money for it to study abroad. I've been trying to get my celta for teaching English at Asia but fuck that shit is expensi5.

No. 99805

File: 1467150365087.jpg (343.16 KB, 1600x1035, just_get_in_line.jpg)

>>99801
Unfortunately marriage is the easiest option.

Otherwise you need to get in either on a student or work visa if you're not rich. That's why we illegal immigration

Looks like you could go through the green card lottery this year, but I'm sure competition is high. The lottery for 2018 is in October
https://travel.state.gov/content/visas/en/immigrate/diversity-visa/instructions.html

You might want to study this site and all its options: https://www.uscis.gov/greencard

No. 99806

>>99805
Anon with Mexican husband here.

Even though Husband has been here since he was two and has no real reason to lie about being in love to get a green card, we may be subject to a lot of scrutiny as to whether our marriage is real, and one mistake can have him deported and charged criminally.

People that are white passing are often not subject to as much scrutiny and stand a better chance, but I want to clear up that marriage is not a guarantee.

No. 99807

>>99805
nice b8 m8

No. 99808

>>99805

I see, well American girls seem to like me for some reason sometimes maybe thatll help. Though I wouldn't marry someone just to get citizenship. I applied for the lottery this year but lost.

>>99806

Well I'm pretty white looking, dirty blonde curly hair, hazel eyes and my skin is white as hell. I always get mistaken for a tourist.

No. 99809

>>99805
oy vey, there are actually standards!

No. 99810

>>99804
If that's your lead (friends in Western Europe), then you need to follow it. Visit them, make more friends while you're there, get introduced to potential partners. Of course don't pursue someone just for a visa, that will be obvious and unhappy for everyone.

Do this in conjunction with any programs abroad that are available to you.

No. 99811

>>99809
I find it weird that people object to the fact that there are stringent immigration laws. It's like saying that Harvard is too hard to get into for normal people, so everyone else has the right to sit in on classes and sneak into students' dorms to sleep, and whoever objects to that is a ~racist~.

Sage because the vent thread doesn't need to turn into an immigration shitfest

No. 99813

>>99810
Also, try Tinder. Idk how big it is outside of US/Canada, but it might be worth a try if you travel to Western Europe. You might meet someone you connect with beyond hook-up.

No. 99815

>>99804
Try applying to colleges in the us and work as a TA? Professors need people to grade papers for them and many teaching assistants are foreign postgraduate students.

Once you're in the US, you need to network, network, and do internships. You should have a job lined up before you graduate so you don't get kicked out after your student visa expires.

No. 99816

>>99811
Agreed. Not trying to turn it into that but it's worth noting that when you compare the US to countries outside of Western Europe, the conditions for naturalization are actually comparatively quite lenient. Too lenient one would say. For example many other countries simply exclude people with a criminal background wholesale, the US only does it with felony level offenses, and even then there are ways around it (muh common law).

No. 99822

>>99811
In my case, I'm a little more pissed about the "proving legitimate marriage" thing because its a legal system of xenophobia, nothing more, nothing less.

Its not a coincidence that no one seems to care and make accusations of ANCHOR BABY when their immigrant spouse happens to be white and from Europe or Australia.

And then there's Trump who has not cleared up whether he would want to turn our baby into a stateless person which would mean our child has essentially no protected rights. The only thing he's answered that question with is just an implication that he wouldn't separate families because the spouses and children would be deported, too.

I understand why we have to have an immigration process and why not every unskilled person ever can just settle down here. But frankly, when you're fighting tooth and nail to be able to keep the father of your child in the country HE GREW UP IN BECAUSE HE DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE AS A MINOR, shit gets fucking stupid and upsetting FAST.

No. 99827

>>99822
With all respect anon. You're not mad at the immigration system per se. You're mad at your husband being discriminated against due to not being white.

Those are two separate issues.

Fwiw white anchor babies/illegal immigrants piss me off, too. There are plenty of Irish, Russians, etc. overstaying their visas where I live and I don't appreciate people assuming that I'm not aware of the issue.

No. 99829

>>99822
Maybe you shouldn't have sullied your genes with a literal shitskin who looks nothing like you and will identify as part of his father's race when he grows up.

No. 99830

>>99829
you didn't even try to sound believable did you anon

No. 99831

>>99830
I'm quite serious.

Does your husband talk about it his "aztec heritage"? Lmao.

No. 99832

>>99806
People who are "white passing" generally use legal channels to immigrate as they don't share a huge land border with the US. Are you seriously suggesting tens of millions of people who entered a country illegally should be given a "path to citizenship" en masse because of your fucking fee fees? When others have scrimped and worked and employed legal channels to do the same for years?

If your brown husband and brown baby dislike it so much then fuck off back to Mexico. Oh wait. They have even harsher laws against illegal immigrants.

The entitlement of Mexicans is fucking astonishing. I'm not even American but I hate these fucks. Fuck them and their fictitious bullshit indigenismo "identity" that was manufactured in the 1960s.

No. 99833

>>99831
I'm not the anon with the Mexican husband, just a bored farmer who thinks you're a crappy troll. And no I'm not even one of those SJW who use "undocumented" to describe Mexican/Latin American nationals who illegally settled in the US.

No. 99834

An illegal immigration husband. Jesus. What a fool you are anon. Even the average PULL idiot wouldn't go that far.

No. 99847

>>99832
>>99834
Actually, he was here legally by a work visa under DACA. That's my issue. You can't just take a bunch of kids that grew up here and know nowhere else and tell them to fuck off back to Mexico because they don't belong there anymore.

I'm not saying EVERY person should get amnesty, but it is a little ridiculous that its getting to the point of wanting to make a stateless persons crisis over xenophobia.

No. 99849

>>99847
>You can't just take a bunch of kids that grew up here and know nowhere else and tell them to fuck off back to Mexico because they don't belong there anymore

Why not? It's not their own fault, but they weren't here legally in the first place. Giving them amnesty is an act of charity, not any legal obligation.

You have to make a convincing that morality and ethics take precedent over the law. Not everyone will agree with you.

No. 99854

>>99744
>I also believe that there's a lot more gender non-conforming people out there than people think

I will say that I'm biologically female and am that to people and such, but truly in my heart of hearts I don't really "feel female" and if I'd have to say completely honestly I feel more "genderless human" than one or the other. Emphasis on human. But I don't feel like I'm pressured to be a woman, I just wear what I want and do what I want.

No. 99855

>>99854
totally relate. I'm willing to chalk it up to having more testosterone or something but it is there. But I feel a little more pressured to be female, mostly because I grew up with a very NPD mother.

No. 99861

>>99855
For me I chalk it up to just being a little more "in my head"/cerebral than other people and not being very popular. I'm just I guess weirdly unused to being referred to as "she" while I'm in the room or even just being addressed by name sometimes (fairly feminine name). I have a woman's body and I'm used to it, it's not like I can just assume a new body easily to know what the difference would be. I dunno, I don't understand trans people and "feeling like I was meant to be xyz".

But, it's not impeding my life or mental health so I don't worry about it at all.

No. 99875

I get jealous when I come across young artists on tumblr who are really talented. It makes me regret not taking my art more seriously when I was younger. Then again, I don't fully regret it because I don't want to become the 'starving artist'.

No. 99876

>>99847
>not EVERY person

Just 90% right?

You did this shit back in Reagans time. All it served to do is incentivize illegal immigration even more. Do you understand that.

No. 99883

File: 1467189262568.png (305.74 KB, 500x504, 1466873068126.png)

Fuck i didn't wanted to start an immigration debate I just wanted to vent on my shitty country

No. 99887

>>99883
Lol Turkish anon, it's not your fault. Good luck with your journey.

No. 99891

File: 1467193100801.png (312.92 KB, 500x282, 1467114195506.png)

>>99887

Well I'm gonna try getting a teaching job in Japan after getting my CELTA. I have a couple of friends there and can speak Japanese too so that should be a plus, one of my old teachers work there so maybe I can network there hopefully.

No. 99908

I have a job interview this week in my BF's town. If I get that job I'll be moving in with him and his parents. I'm terrified because it's all so sudden. I didn't expect them to call back since I live 3 hours away from the job, in a different town. But it's really nice that they're giving me a chance, I also really need that job and money.
I'm also worried because of the type of job. I'll be cashier. The last time I worked in that position it was a nightmare because I suck really really hard at math and I have a hard time calculating in my head. So I'm praying they have those fancy registers that do the work for you, it's really the only thing that could give me problems.
I guess I should wait and see if I'll even get that job, then worry about everything else.

No. 99919

>>99908
You'll be fine anon, cash registers do everything for you. As long as you can count change, you're good to go.

No. 99925

>>99876
People are still on this?

Let it the fuck go or huff a fart and hold it like a bong hit for all I care

No. 99961

I know this is mostly my fault. But I've only had 3 bfs in my life, the first one broke up with me, I broke up with the second one, and third one is current.

If I find the logic in things I can usually recover well, so my first bf and I are friends now and talk occasionally. I understand why we broke up, in that our needs at the time were vastly different, and blah blah. We're also both in other relationships so it's nbd.

My second bf was really broken up about breaking up, and I've tried to explain it to him as best as I could (essentially saw the relationship going no where and lost the feelings for him, as well as fundamental differences in life philosophies). It's been a good while since the break up and I keep wanting to be "be friends" similar to how first ex-bf and I are. I'm completely over him (hence current bf), and he says he's over me now. But he's so smarmy and bitter about it (I guess I shouldn't be surprised) and I keep hoping if I contact him in another few months the bitterness would fade, but it doesn't. I know I should just stop trying to talk to him, but I keep wanting to explain it logically but he keeps making me out to be irrational and crazy when I know that I'm not. I think that bothers me the most. He's been so broken up about it that he has to rationalize my behavior as mean and crazy to make himself feel better and that bothers the fuck outta me. Like, I browse lolcow and /cow/, I did so whilst in the relationship with him and shared the drama, and he has only ever laughed with me. But now he tries to take a moral high ground about it all. And put me down because of it.

I need to let it the fuck go.

never date a robot, gals

No. 99982

>>99961
>dating a robot

not even mostly. 100% your fault.

No. 100029

File: 1467270171798.jpg (84.78 KB, 680x827, 1467242299455.jpg)

>>99908
I hope it goes well for you anon!

I'm currently trying to move in with my sister but she has set up the condition that I have to apply to at least 5 jobs while I'm here for a couple of days if not she'll send me back to my shitty home town. It's a fair condition(so I'm actually doing something) but at the same time it's been really hard and stressful trying to find and apply for entry level jobs here, especially ones near the area where I live and that I qualify for. I'm hoping I can pull through, I really don't want to go back and let my parents down.
I just want to be able to earn my own money that I can blow on whatever I want and live with her in this nice city

No. 100032

Gettin' real sick and tired of my parents treating me like a shitty teenager whenever I go home to visit them, like I will be tomorrow. I've been living in a different state for nearly 3 years now, I recently moved into a new town house in the city, and I'm working towards a Bachelor's degree. I am certainly not the shitty, irresponsible, depressed 18 year old I was when I left home. But my parents still treat me as if I were, and make fun of me for the person I used to be, but no longer am. It's getting real damn old and I don't know how I'm going to survive this week long family vacation I'm about to go on without losing my mind.

No. 100049

>>100032
Have you tried telling them that you don't like being treated this way? They may not even realize it's bothering you because people can be that dense. I hate to go all therapy 101 here but using When you blah blah blah, I feel blah blah blah statements does seem to work sometimes.

No. 100056

>>100049

I've told them, several times that it bothers me a lot. It's kind of one of those cases where my mother is so wrapped up in her own issues as a human being that god forbid anyone else have a problem, because whatever that problem is will just pale in comparison to hers. And my dad is just the kind of guy who never stops making fun of anyone for whatever he can because he thinks it's funny and he's kind of emotionally inept sometimes.

I'm thinking I might sit down and try to have the conversation again sometime when I see them. I don't really know if it'll work, but I really can't take much more of their behavior. It's almost as bad as it was when I actually lived with them.

I'll try out the When you do Blah, It makes me feel Blah statements, maybe it'll help the conversation.

No. 100057

>>100056
sounds like my parents and you may not want to call it abusive but it really is.

No matter how I've changed, no matter what I accomplish, no matter what I do, no matter where I end up, no matter what I say about it bothering me, they only focus on mistakes of the past or trashing on me for my disorders.

people that selfish are not worth your time, and not worth hurting yourself again and again.

Don't engage them if they're going to be assholes. Send a clear message that is you will walk away and not deal with it.

They may think it's "immature" but with people like that, no matter what you say it gets worse. So don't say anything other than "Your behavior is immature, hurtful, and I will not encourage it." and leave the room.

No. 100059

>>100057

Man, I've had the exact same feelings as you. Being in that position where they constantly trash on you for your mistakes and things you can't control. Yeah I've been there. And you're right, they have been pretty emotionally abusive in the past and I can recognize that it's abuse.

I really should be a lot firmer with them but there's still a lot of fear embedded somewhere in me from when I was a child and things were really bad with them.

And they're not bad people, even if they're god awful parents. I just feel bad because I know that in the end, they do love me and want whats best for me, they're just really shitty at showing it. They both just have their own issues, and, though I hate to phrase it like this, they're both broken people in their own ways.

I really do need to be firm with them, be tougher about it. It's just kind of hard because I don't want to hurt them, even though they're the ones hurting me.

No. 100061

>>100059
maybe I'm going to sound a bit heartless but I went through the whole "oooh they're broken ooooh they're sooooo troubled I really should have more sympathy!"

And where I ended up is yeah no they really are just bad people.

No. 100085

It's weird but ever since I was 10 years old, I have a breakdown every two years. Nothing will trigger it, I'll just have a complete mental breakdown and I think I had it today.

I'm just lying in bed right now, exhausted and sad and thinking about how crazy I am. I went for a run earlier to try and avoid (?) it but it didn't really work and I started crying near the end. In addition to that, when I came home and checked my texts, a friend of mine sent me some messages teasing me about obsessed I am with a certain thing.

I know it was just banter but it hurt like my mental illness causes me to get weirdly fixated on things as a sort of coping mechanism and I'm insecure enough about it already.

Bleh.

No. 100098

grumble grumble work grumble grumble stayed an hour late even tho i had plans grumble need a better job grumble grumble

(i had a long thing about work but it felt good to type it all into the text box and erase it)

No. 100108

>>100085
Anon, you're not crazy, and don't let people tease you for your coping mechanisms. If they help you get by, there's nothing wrong with that. Are you seeing a therapist? I think it could help to find out why you're having these breakdowns, and how to cope with them. Hope you feel better soon.

No. 100120

I think my crotch sweat just cost me a job. I went in with confidence, the questions were rather dumb and I'm somewhat new at the job market so I wasn't sure how to answer. I probably sounded like an idiot since I don't speak my native language well. Anyway:
> Started to sweat so hard during the interview I felt the sweat sliding down my back
> My face was wet, nothing to wipe it off
> Interview was over, I stood up and saw all the sweat on the table that I was leaning on, decided to ignore it
> Got out of the room and sat on a chair outside
> Noticed two sweatspots on my crotch, became horrified
> Felt my butt - it was wet
> Realized everyone saw my sweaty butt in that room

I just…lol, fuck

No. 100129

>>100120
sweaty butt is the bane of my existence. When i work outside and carry heavy things around while wearing light-colored shorts (uniform) in the heat, or have to sit on vinyl chairs in the sun and heat, there is just no stopping it. I'm at the point where I'm wondering if butt botox is a thing because nothing I do prevents it. I need to get like shrink-wrap plastic shorts or something to wear underneath.

No. 100131

>>98465
>>98468
>>98469
You guys say that, but don't understand that chances are those women will fuck you up more then help you. It is getting harder and harder to find decent women nowadays. But hey, grass is always greener.

No. 100134

>>100131

There good women out there but they also with good men so yeah.

No. 100138

I can't stand people who make a single physical trait their whole personality. I'm sick of seeing mixed girls with 'mixed' in their insta usernames who post nothing but selfies with dumb one-word captions thinking it makes them look cool. They all act the same yet act special for being mixed. Same goes for gay people super obsessed about 'gay culture', some mentally ill girls, trannies whose entire lives revolve around their gender, some natural redheads and people with small country syndrome like the Irish. I'm from Ireland and I fucking hate it when I go abroad (usually US and Aus) and see a gaggle of fuckwits who won't shut up about being Oirish, amping up the accent and trying to act cute so people would lick their arse. And yeah, yanks love that shit, but these retards even do it in mainland Europe (like just recently at the Euro) even though most of the time they're either met with confused looks or a collective stink eye because the locals usually think they're Brits.

Like are those people seriously void of any semblance of personality? Jesus Christ.

No. 100142

I really want to leave my town and start a new life but I can't. My mother is afraid that I will leave her for good, never call, won't care about her health, sleep around (I'm not that kind of person heck I never even kissed a guy). My family is afraid that I will end up like my uncle who moved out of here to study, now has a huge dept and started a new life in Spain and still pays it off .
Another thing is that people from my old school spread lies about me (they don't like me because I was a nerd in school and an outcast) and I can't do anything about it. The worst rumor was that I am pregnant. I feel like I have a bad reputation without even doing anything. Now it's better but I feel like I will become an outcast again because of these people.. This is so annoying but I can't make myself not care about it.

No. 100152

my dumbass husband just wasted fucking a lot of money buying fireworks from wyoming and now he's insisting to me he should get to fire them because all the signs in the store he bought them from promised him a "free public display permit" and all the signs were supposedly quoting statues about how its legal to shoot in certain areas.

Checked with the fire marshal and NO. That is retarded. They tell dumb fireworks tourists anything to get them to buy their illegal shit. So now my husband is fighting hard to get the right to go to bumfuck wyoming and get his ass arrested and fined $750 we can't fucking afford.

I fucking hate the fourth of july. I fucking hate fireworks.

No. 100156

My mother is a Margo. She's just so much of a vile and disguting person I feel I won't be able to keep myself from hitting her when she gets old if she doesn't stop this bullshit. The worst part is… That I think I'm actually looking foward giving her back a minimal part of the physical and psychological pain she's done to me, because she hasn't kept herself at all of beating the shit out of me when I was younger; in fact I have several "sweet" memories thanks to her. She still does it sometimes if I'm not careful and I am at my twenties.

And before someone calls me a violent dude, I'm a woman, in advance.

No. 100161

>>100152
great so he gave up the fight but now he's acting abusive and like I ruined his life for calling the fire departments and fire marshals to check if these stores were bullshitting him or not.

fml.

No. 100163

>>100138
It's a compensating thing.

Unless they're white passing like sachie they'll never be a part of our group. Rub that in their ugly brown faces.

No. 100172

>>100163
Sachie plz leave.
You can look like Taylor Swift herself and still no one cares about your drama.

No. 100173

>>100163
Sachie looks chinky af tho

No. 100185

My almost 5 year old neice had a meltdown today when I told her that she had to wipe her own poopy butt. I genuinely think the kid did a bad job of wiping on purpose, so I would feel bad and clean her instead. I had a crying baby in my arms the entire time too. Massages forehead The kid will be 5 soon, and her parents and my parents still wipe her butt for her. I am the only one who thinks she's too old for that? For god's sake, her preschool requires children to be completely potty trained before they can attend, and she's told me multiple times the teachers make her go by herself. I google searched what at age children should wipe themselves, and 90% of it said most kids don't need help by age 4. Her mother was visibly irritated that I made her do it herself. I really get the feeling my sister will keep wiping the kid as long as she cries about.

No. 100186

my school had prom a week and a half ago. before going to the location where everyone was meeting, i planned to go to my boyfriends house to get a lift with him from his dad.
i was late. his dad was very angry with me because I'm always late.
my boyfriend said we missed out on having our picture taken together by his dad because i was late.
i feel bad. its bothering me and will continue to bother me. I'm ashamed of myself and wish that i could change that part of the day so that it would be as perfect as the rest of prom night.
count on me to always have to ruin something.

No. 100219

I just removed a tonsil stone on my own with a cotton swab. I didn't know something this disgusting even exists jesus christ

No. 100259

I am completely empty of inspiration and happiness/joy. I get bored with everything i do, no matter how motivated i stay or how much i force myself to continue doing it. I am consistent in pursuing my interests, trying to get joy from that, which obviously doesn't work and feels mediocre at best. I've had constant existential crisises throughout my life, drugs makes it worse. Right now i'm just numb or sad all the time. Everything feels pointless and materialistic, like the human world is just made up of a bunch of meaningless moral rules that only serves to keep people in a happy imaginary world, that to me feels like living in a fucking mobile game or something… I recently read Brave new world, and it describes everything i feel about the world/my life today. Life feels like playing The Sims, but you have to play 24/7, and only get to play Sims 2 with one single expansion-pack for hours on end.
I try to create, it brings me nothing. I try to run, go skate with my inlines, hang out with friends, family etc… It brings me nothing. Computer games, watching a new tv-series, eating ice cream and masturbating, it's all so damn fucking boring. My meds (ADD and depression) at least keeps me from being completely suicidal…

I wish something extreme would happen to take me out of this, like aliens coming to earth. That's my greatest wish thb.

I've also had a sudden change in heart rate, pulse is constantly high and heart beat is rapid and strong throughout the day. Fml.

No. 100294

>>100185
I knew a woman who wiped her kid's ass until he was 12 and her excuse was that he didn't know how to do it well enough. There was nothing wrong with her kid except that he was lazy and she's an enabler.

You're doing the right thing for that your niece tbh.

No. 100307

>>100259
whoa are you me
it's like… fuck my total lack of creativity and the fact that i am mentally barren. i can copy things and follow directions and mimic, but i can't do anything original or think up anything on my own. it's kind of quiet and sad inside.
when i talk to people and try to have like a serious conversation or connect, it feels like i'm peering at them through a haze of fog, squinting, unable to make out the person behind it.

No. 100311

>>100259
sounds like depression bro

No. 100316

I'm a terrible person without my meds, but I feel like I'm lying to everyone and putting on a false persona when I'm on them.

No. 100331

File: 1467498656071.jpg (398.1 KB, 728x1040, 1423078156411.jpg)

>tfw can only attract gay guys

Not sure what to feel, I mean it's flattering to be found attractive but I'm straight as hell and can't seem to attract girls at all.

No. 100332

>>100307
Exactly, it's so damn dissociating. I keep wondering what the key to overcoming this shit is, and how you "come out on the other side" of it. It occasionally gets better for a few hours, or days, but it's only like peeking through the keyhole to "reality".
Did meds (if you take any) help in any way for you? Mine did fuck all, but at least i'm "productive", in a machine sort of way.
Discovering new things is supposed to help, but everything really do feel the same, it's just a system in a system i'm already familiar with.
>>100311
It is. Was diagnosed a few years ago.

No. 100336

>>100294
You knew someone who wiped their 12 year old? How creepy is that..What made them stop?
And thank you. I really do get the feeling the kid is going to be at least 6 before they think their kid is capable of doing it herself. It drives me crazy, she can brush her teeth and get dressed by herself, and was potty trained fairly early, but nope. Wiping is too hard for her.

No. 100393

>>100186

get a fucking clock kid.

people who are always late piss me off, it shows that you don't care about other peoples time.

but anyway, it's only prom pictures.

No. 100406

My bfs brother who recently moved to our town is a mooching little cunt who buys useless SHIT like Star Wars shirts & new computer instead of paying back old loans to my bf since he knows he can use him (he's the too kind for his own good-guy) but also he's somehow hard to please since he's the type that can whine like a little bitch about the most mundane things on a vacation he didn't even pay for. Fuck that guy honestly, self centered cunty brat

No. 100407

I really fucking hate my job. It's a shitty food service job where I have to deal with retarded customers and assholes all day, but it's the best job I can get for someone with my qualifications (none) in my area. The "good" part about it is that a few of my coworkers are very nice and good friends of mine, and we share similar interests, but I hate the other half. I'm tired of sweating and laboring all day for minimum wage.
I can't even bitch about this to my boyfriend who has a easy, high paying job because he thinks he "understands", and gets mad at me when I point out that I work harder and longer than him and still make less money.
I can't even afford to go to school or take classes to better myself either since I make so little money. I'm really tired of my shit job but I have no where else to go so I have to keep working it even though suicide seems like a easier option.

No. 100408

>>100407
people that devalue this kind of work as requiring "no skills" and an "easy" kind of labor are annoying as fuck.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_labor

"There is empirical evidence that higher levels of emotional labor demands are not uniformly rewarded with higher wages. Rather, the reward is dependent on the level of general cognitive demands required by the job. That is, occupations with high cognitive demands evidence wage returns with increasing emotional labor demands; whereas occupations low in cognitive demands evidence a wage "penalty" with increasing emotional labor demands.[30]"

Everyone demands the incredibly difficult and shitty job of a person in an apparent good and helpful mood no matter what, but no one is willing to actually pay them a livable wage.

It's such crap.

No. 100423

This is about to sound like the lamest thing in the world, but I've learned the professor I did my undergrad research with has either blocked me or has hidden me on his Facebook. I'm not sure which.

He posted a status about thanking friends for birthday wishes and I commented with a "Happy birthday, Dr. insert name here!" and it immediately disappeared. I know I shouldn't feel as bummed out as I am, but we were relatively close until about the end of last summer. Like, he helped me through my depression and was the one who suggested I go to the school counseling services to get help, we would get coffee and chat, drank outside of school together along with other professors, and I was even welcomed to join him and his wife at Thanksgiving with my boyfriend at the time if we were in town. But I guess I did something to set him off (still don't know what, btw. I apologized for a slew of things that I thought might've been it, but I guess none of them were) and he kicked me out of research my final semester and said that I would end it by training someone else on what needed to be done (who, spoilers, ended up having no time to do anything while I would have–which meant no research happened for him that semester since his other student was too busy, as well… but oh well) and we started to flat out ignore me any time we passed in the hallway or on campus and would only begrudgingly acknowledge me if I was hanging out with other students that he liked… he didn't even congratulate me on graduating like the rest of the department did.

I'm just… How do people do things like that? Just essentially erase someone out of their lives like that?

I honestly wish I didn't care as much about this as I do, but it hurts. He was the one that actually made me want to go into my field because he made it interesting.

No. 100425

>>100423
Tbh that emotional intimacy sounds a little close for a colleague you do research with.

And, really, even if you guys never went full on romantic, perhaps the fact that he went that extra mile with you was predatory in nature OR he was afraid it would be perceived as such.

In either of those cases, he would distance himself and try to get you away from him before his supervisors are asking anymore funny questions, which they may have already been doing to an extent.

Something about his particularly grudgy ways and dickishness kind of feels like he wanted it to go somewhere it didn't, felt threatened because of it, and then decided to resent you over it.

No. 100431

>>100423
Sounds like a few things are possible:
1) His wife made him sever all contact with you
2) He has feelings for you, so 1)
3) 2), so he did it himself to save his marriage
4) Someone accused him of favouritism or adultery (most likely), so he cut ties to avoid getting both of you in trouble

No. 100432

>>100431
Samefagging to add:
4) has actually happened in one of my college courses, a few students were cozying up to a professor to get better grades (male and female students, nothing romantic) and they ended up forming this 'inner circle' so someone told the dean when they caught wind of it because it wasn't fair to others. They were quickly broken apart and moved to different courses with different teachers and the offending professor was really careful not to let anyone get too close after that and acted really standoffish with everybody.

No. 100440

My boyfriend is sick as fuck and now has gotten himself into an anxiety ridden frenzy looking up shit on WebMD. His doctor's hours aren't online so he made me drive him there to check the hours at 4 am. Now he's writhing around and making terrible noises and saying weird things. I snapped at him and I feel terrible for it but it's 6 am and I need sleep especially if im going to be taking care of him and taking him to the doctor ASAP. He's never sick so I understand why he's so freaked out but I feel like a mom and it's a bit too much for me right now.

No. 100442

My 17 year old dog died and my boyfriend told me to stop talking about her so I could get over with it faster.
He was surprised that I was upset about it and demanded an apology after I stopped repling to his messages.

Fuck this shit.
I didn't deserve this.

No. 100447

>>100442
Really sorry about your dog anon.

What a fucking arsehole. Honestly, it sounds more like he didn't want to deal with hearing you talk about her rather than him actually wanting you to get over her.

Dump the fucker. It's a bad omen of what's to come no matter how you slice it. He's either surprised that you're upset because he wouldn't be upset at losing a pet, which is obviously a massive red flag. Or he just doesn't care about how you feel, which again, awful.

I know someone's gonna say I'm reading into this too much, but the adage about seeing someone's true character in how they regard those inferior to them (Pets, children, service staff etc) really is fucking true.

No. 100448

>>100425
It could have been, but I never felt any malicious intent from him (I could have just been oblivious/naive, though).

>>100431
>>100432
I feel like it was probably #4 on the list, as his wife would still say hello and ask how my day was if we saw each other (she also taught on campus; she's in a different department).

No. 100449

>>100447

Agreed. What a right cunt. You have a right to be sad over your dog anon. Fucking give him a punch

No. 100453

>>100447
>>100449

Thank you anons I feel a little bit better now.

I asked him why he did this.
He told me that it was "advice" and that we all have different reaction to pain. I don't even know wtf this means.

I think that he did this to hurt me on purpose. I've been very busy lately, working on my degree and caring for my dog. He probably feels negletcted being a neet and all. I don't know…
I'm seriously thinking about dumping him atm. It's weird because before he was the complete opposite of this, but lately he's been really bitter and this is the last straw.

No. 100454

>>100453
I've probably made a lot of mistakes, sorry.

No. 100458

>>100453
Advice is a suggestion, not a command. He just said everyone has different reactions to pain to justify saying your reaction is wrong and that you need to stop it. You don't know wtf it means because it doesn't mean anything and it doesn't make any sense.

>being a neet and being jealous of the attention a sick/old animal is getting


Strike two and three. You deserve better in every regard.

No. 100465

My retarded social and communication skills are going to ruin my otherwise potentially bright future. Just aced my surgery exam. But we have this stupid system in which you're required to have an oral exam if you're grade is higher than 80%, or you're stuck with a lower grade. I chickened out because I suck at talking and I don't want to be humiliated for my (maybe literal?) autism. This keeps happening and I will never stop getting mediocre results. Why live?

No. 100466

>>100465
your*. smh see? I just suck at communicating at any level.

No. 100467

>>100465

I'm so glad I got a non human interaction jib2

No. 100468

>>100453
You need to dump this person.

No. 100471

>>100465
Why don't you talk about it with the teacher? Now i don't know if you have some actual diagnosed form of social anxiety (not that it should matter either way), but surely the teacher must be understanding of someone sperging out during an oral exam? Especially if you tell them about it beforehand. I had to drag a 30min oral exam out for 2-3 hours once because i stutter, act nervous and become so distracted by my inability to function like a normal human being that i am unable to find words and form sentences and sit in silence for minutes at a time. But since i told the teacher that i have social anxiety and severe untreated ADD he was very understanding and patient.
Your teachers will most likely be too, otherwise they're pretty shitty teachers tbh.

No. 100474

>>100471
Different anon, but I can also add that professors tend to be understanding of a fear of public speaking. My speech professor allowed students to sign up to give their speeches to her in private instead of in front of the class so they wouldn't feel embarrassed.

SO I'd totally ask and see if you can do some sort of alternative.

No. 100506

my parents bought plane tickets for the whole family months ago before asking anyone and now we all feel obligated to go on this vacation to new jersey

im so pissed. my stepmom wants me to call to discuss how I'm getting to the airport. They assume my partner is going to do it, I'm guessing, despite the fact he probably wouldn't be able to.

this fucking sucks. I never asked for this, but then if I decline or say I can't then I'm making them waste all their money.

I put my whole life on hold this summer, haven't been able to get a job because of this week long vacation I don't even want to go on that I have to schedule around.

I'm so fucking livid and I don't want to talk to them.

No. 100522

Here it is, the 4th of July. I'm mildly tripping on shrooms. Was hoping to maybe get invited out by one of my "friends", but instead they're all sending me pictures of them all together showing me the great time they're all having. And my own family left to see the fireworks tonight without even forewarning me that they were leaving, I just leave my room and I'm in an empty house. I'm feeling bitter and unwanted, idk. I just wanted someone to be here for me, to have a good time with me….guess I'm just being salty. Plus I have no cigarettes, and some kid gave me dip but it's fucking nasty and I don't know why it's still in my mouth.
/rant over

No. 100524

i just want to complain that i had a shitty relationship with an abusive narcissist who cheated on me with this legitimately ugly girl because they go way back and i'm assuming they suffered the same brain trauma to be as stupid as they both are.

now that's I've been out of it I have been professionally approached by people that are good for new connections that could lead to friends and maybe new relationships. but because that relationship fucked with my head soooo much i just instinctively push people away or just distract from my actually good personality with being shallow and pretty/appealing to someone sexually with no intentions of fucking them.

i'm stuck hiding myself behind this weird facade of what i know works, even though it doesn't "work" they're just nice to my face to fuck.

No. 100529

>>100524
Ah yes, the fabled 'abusive narcissist' cow loves to talk about. Which in normal English probably means just a regular asshole.

You're being too much of a melodramatic bitch over it and I doubt your personality is as good as you claim if nobody wants to be your friend.

No. 100531

>>100506
haaa now I'm abusive because I refused to hold my tongue about how I really felt about having to put my whole life on hold for one week of summer and I should be thankful I'm not going.

awesome.

No. 100538

>>100522
Honestly anon. Next time that happens you message your friends and say 'my family bailed on me can I join you guys', and if you know you aren't going to want to be alone then plan beforehand to be a part of something.
FOMO sucks but you need to take some responsibility for it, if you ask friends outright and they play games with you then you need to talk to them about it or find new friends.

No. 100539

The UK could have a 2nd vote on leaving the EU and Im annoyed because so many stupid bastards would vote in to remain too. It just makes life even more harder for the British and easier for the immigrants.

No. 100541

File: 1467715020882.png (74.34 KB, 559x713, Screen Shot 2016-07-05 at 11.3…)

Some shit I just saw on tumblr.

Why should we donate for this idiot's abortion? If they're old enough to make the baby they can get off their ass and pay for it themselves. I hate it when people coo and pamper idiots like this.

No. 100542

>>100541
I was going to say there are worse things to donate towards (since that kid will end up costing taxpayer dollars in the end anyway if they're born to an unprepared teenage mother), but now I can see the idiot is just trying to avoid telling their parents, who would probably pay for the abortion themselves. Plus they could be scamming.

No. 100546

>>100542

Exactly anon

No. 100551

>>100542
I'm of the same opinion. I don't really have strong opinions on doxxing but in this case I would just so her parents can know what the hell is going on.

No. 100554

The only reason I haven't killed myself yet is because I'm an only child and couldn't do that to my parents. I owe them that much. I'm turning 20 in a month and have achieved nothing. (>inb4 you have plenty of time) Everyone else is happy, travelling everywhere, living interesting lives. I've had depression since I was 13 and it's never going to get better. My therapist keeps implying that I should get used to feeling like shit because that's how it's going to be for the rest of my life. I'm not particularly good at anything. I have no friends. I don't have anywhere else to go or anything to do.

No. 100568

>>100474
>>100471

Thank you so much for your advice. I actually ended up going to the oral exam and you were right, they were very understanding! I kept my grade!

No. 100588

I think I'm finally killing myself tonight, I have no one else to talk to before I do it, I just wanted let someone know before I'm gone forever. Maybe someone will remember me one day.

No. 100589

>>100588
please call a suicide hotline anon i dont want you to die

No. 100590

>>100589

I'm a "robot" so probably want me to, I just want to talk a bit before I finish this bottle.

No. 100592

>>100588
I don't want you to die either anon. Please do whatever you need to pull yourself out of it. I'll be thinking about you all day so please come back tomorrow and tell us you didn't go through with it.

No. 100593

>>100590
Hope that's not you Turkish anon. Been meaning to reply to you, sorry it has taken me so long.

No. 100594

>>100593

wow, didn't expected you to guess that heh.

>>100592

I'll probably pussy out like the bitch I am.

No. 100596

File: 1467752893219.jpg (403.38 KB, 1208x870, 169919.jpg)

>>100590
i really dont care who you are i dont want you to die. I dont want anyone to die.

i love you as much as i can love someone and not want them to die from so far away

look at this beautiful world and its not worth it theres so much to see and experience

No. 100598

>>100596

World is just a box of rotten shit with a fancy wrapping. Life is to enjoy for attractive and normal people, I'm just gonna remove myself from like it wants me to.

No. 100601

>>100594
Take it easy bro. We all have problems - I've been going through a massive depressive phase as of late, spurred on by "what could have been" type thoughts.

I understand what you mean.

No. 100603

File: 1467755270606.webm (2.91 MB, 640x360, 1467388562270.webm)

>>100601

I've been doing somewhat okay lately but got literally destroyed today.

>only guy in my department at work

>usually try to be friendly and make small talk with the girls
>washing my face in the bathroom after lunch break
>overheard some girls talking about me
>"I wish they replace this creep with a hottie"
>"god he's so fucking ugly"
>"hope he gets fired"
>usually used to this kind of shit but something broke inside me
>get through the day like a zombie
>buy two bottles of whiskey while coming home
>load my shotgun and put it beside me
>now waiting for alcohol to kick in so I won't pussy out

then I realized nothing will ever get better, I'm a 27 year old genetic dead end with a shit job and neck deep in debt, never gonna be able to enjoy life, too ugly to experience romance, too poor to see the world, living in a shithole country with 0 future and will probably be in a civil war in couple of years. I missed out on everything good on life and will never be able to catch up.

No. 100604

>>100603
Post your face and we'll give you some tips for a makeover.

No. 100605

>>100603
:( Anon please sleep on it. If you want to keep talking to someone I'll be here to reply if you want.

No. 100606

>>100604

I did asked for tips before but regret it now looked like a total retard, I still gotta lose some weight so tips would go to waste,

>>100605

I guess talking made it a bit better, I don't have much people to talk to. Mom is a depressed mess, mom doesn't care, sister is too busy preparing for marriage, friends doesn't care. I keep bottling up this shit and go batshit crazy like this sometimes.

No. 100607

>>100606
I don't have many people to talk to either. Not that I actually like making friends irl though. That's why I'm on lolcow I guess. It's anonymous and faceless and for some reason feels better than seeing people irl.

As for looks, a nice clean hair cut can do wonders. People go from cousin it to pretty attractive just from doing their hair properly! Don't feel so hopeless.

Also, are you not happy for your sister getting married?

No. 100608

File: 1467757080945.jpg (Spoiler Image, 27.35 KB, 355x232, Capture.JPG)

>>100607

Well more like engagement, that came out wrong. She's with a good guy, I'm happy for her. Well my haircut is alright I think, not sure. My sister is like a 9/10, not sure if we're even related I look like a troll next to her. I look pretty young so they always mistake us for a couple when we're out sometimes, hear some pretty nasty shit like "why's she with that fucking disgusting lardass"

No. 100609

>>100608
Gonna start sageing just in case someone bitches. Lol.

Your hair isn't bad. It looks nice and soft. Just style it and brush it. My brother was really fat when he was younger and had ugly mop hair. Everyone made fun of him and said much of the same things to him that you're getting. Now boys and girls drool over him and all he did was lose weight, gets his eyebrows, and take care of his hair.

I'm sure you can be a 9/10 too.

No. 100610

>>100609
Gets his eyebrows done*

No. 100611

File: 1467757771476.webm (2.97 MB, 640x480, 1467433256254.webm)

>>100609

Don't know, I think I got a bit better after talking. Not gonna post it here but you can give me some tips with e-mails if you want to. Funny how silly webms and internet strangers can make you feel better.

>inb4 thirst

No. 100612

>>100611
I can't see that file and I don't really use email except for paying bills. If you have Instagram you can dm on there. I only use it to lurk so it looks abandoned lol: jst.lo

No. 100613


No. 100621

>>100611
if you need anyone to talk to im also available at 41zup9+4too2d2msjcc4@sharklasers.com its a burner email and once I've vetted you I can allow you access to a more stable address.

and honestly that goes for anyone i love people i dont want any of you suffering or dying please come talk to me if you're feeling down ok?

none of you have to be alone.

No. 100673

File: 1467791234507.gif (260.84 KB, 150x107, didn't crackednutshellxx2 make…)

You know how you tell someone, "I didn't ask for your life story,"?
Well you didn't.

>meet boy in ninth grade seven years ago

>be social fucking retard with no friends
>Boy is nice to me
>Boy's friends like me
>this is nice
>months later Boy and co. decide they don't like me
>never say why
>they just like me one day and not the next
>be sad
>next year
>reach back out to Boy
>Boy responds, friend's me on FB
>be happy
>boy says two says later if I tell anyone, he'll drop me again
>be sad
>at least I have Boy
>ask over time why I can't tell anyone
>you're embarrassing
>you're stupid
>you're a bitch
>I would be ashamed if anyone knew
>oh
>ok
>eventually Boy thinks I'm going to tell someone
>un-friend's me
>acts like he never met me
>try repeatedly to tell him he was wrong, I wouldn't do that to him
>takes a few weeks
>he comes back
>back to normal
>be 17
>Boy gets gf
>drops me
>Boy dumps gf
>takes me back
>back to "normal"
>be 19
>Boy drops me again
>tells me everything he can think of that's wrong with me
>o-okay
>decide that's it, I'll never let this happen again
>year and a half later
>Boy reaches out to me
>take him back
>things are very good in the beginning
>he's taking me around his friends
>to his house
>doing actually normal stuff
>feel great
>still have no friends, so this is amazing
>and then
>Boy says we're not dating
>we're just friends with benefits
>I don't want you around my friends
>okay
>goes on like that for about a year
>be couple weeks ago
>Boy is being nicer than ever
>taking me around his friends
>talking nice to me
>hasn't called me any names once
>only said something mean to me one time in the whole two weeks
>takes me to see fireworks with him and his best friend last night
>friend is one of the ones who didn't like me when we were 14
>he likes me now
>he's laughing at my jokes
>things are going spectacularly
>things keep being great all night
>still great this morning
>great all day
>be tonight
>Boy says none of his friends think I'm funny
>Boy says none of his friends like me
>Boy says friend from last night only acted like I was funny because I'm slutty
>but
>I don't get it
>what do I do
>what can I do
>what will ever be good enough
>why the fuck don't you tell me what I'm doing wrong while I'm doing it
>why, for years, do you just wait for me to fuck up, then come blast me with it later when I think things are FINALLY going well
>why
>"Because you're a stupid, trailer trash cunt who somehow missed the days in preschool where they taught everyone to act like fucking people, you fucking idiot."
>oh
>ok
>I'm sorry
>It's my fault
>It's always my fault
>I'm sorry, I am being stupid.
>I should just know better, I'm sorry I'm so dumb.
>I'm sorry, have I made you mad again?
>"Not this time."
>Boy leaves
>start thinking
>start thinking about life
>and about how much time I've spent on this person
>this person who calls me names and takes out his anger on me
>this person who does things to me Dr. Phil told me I should never let a man do
>and he does it
>and he doesn't even pretend to love me
>and I've given him years already
>what have I done
>what have I become
>realize that if I lose him, I have nothing
>realize that I don't have him
>realize that I already have nothing to lose
>realize that I can easily read pm's on fb
>read his
>read his friends'
>find out he posted revenge porn of his ex
>almost all of his friends think he's a cunt
>two of his friends fucked his ex while they were still together
>he treated his ex the same way he's treating me

I am so.
Fucking angry right now.
I want to tell him everything.
I want to tell him everything that the people he thinks are his friends have said about him.
I wanna tell the dean at his college that he posted revenge porn (illegal in this state)
I wanna fuck his best friend.
I want to just fuck him up as bad as I let him fuck me up all these years.
I have never been so angry in my life.
Maybe this is what it feels like to finally really be a woman.
It feels bad, yet, better.

No. 100675

>>100673
Anon, I'm in work right now but I've something important to tell you when I get home.

No. 100677

>>100673
Do it. Fuck his miserable life up. Sounds like he tried hard to fuck yours up so I say return the favor. Posting revenge porn makes him subhuman tbh

No. 100679

>>100621

It's okay, mom caught me drinking with the shotgun on my side because I wasn't answering my phone she came to check on me. We had a nice long talk, I'm okay now.

No. 100686

>>100673
Anon… I've been in your exact same boat. Literally. Like 4~ years ago.

Fuck him up. Tell them everything. Tell the dean, etc. You're better than that trash, he didn't care about you or ANYONE he's 'close to'. He doesn't deserve mercy or you shielding him.

To only advice I could give you that I wish I had been told myself, is that fucking his best friend will probably make you feel worse in the long run. I know you're angry and want revenge, but that guy could use that shit on you with other people, or you could get an STD (who knows how his friends are), or a bunch of other crap. Yeah it sucks being alone, but you'll meet people. It might not be tomorrow, or even this month, but you WILL, and they won't be trashlings like these.

No. 100688

>>100568
That's amazing, i'm so happy for you! Very brave of u anon.

No. 100690

>>100673
Fuck him up anon. Fuck him up as hard as you can. You need to channel all of the hurt and the rage you've felt at the hands of that shitbag and use it to ruin his life to the full extent of your abilities.

No. 100695

>>100673
Ruin him, anon.

No. 100696

I think my future mother in law dislikes me. I have a job interview on Friday and if I get that job I'll have to move in, obviously not for free. We pretty much agreed on everything and now, idk what's really going on, she seems to be against me coming over??
I'm introverted and socially awkward so I guess the lack of communication is what she probably dislikes about me, that and the fact that I don't know how to cook yet.
Idk if she's at home or at work, I'm terrifed of calling her and am the verge of tears because it's such a shit day.

No. 100698

>>100673
Do it faggot. Ruin his life desu.
And don't forget to deliver when you do it.

No. 100701

>>100673
No one deserves to be treated like that and for him to do that for years to you, and other girls it seems, is just unforgivable. Fuck him up anon. You show him what piece of trash he is. But don't it by fucking his friend because it may bite you in ass in the long run. Take screenshots for evidence and send relevant info to the dean and then send him copies of the shit his friends say then sit back and watch everything unfold.

No. 100714

This isn't as serious as the other posts here but I'm so frustrated that I have no one to jam with.

The only friends I have are from BMX and they're into rap, which I like but I don't want to make - you feel me? I just want someone to jam with, and play some reggae or rnb with. But I live in a small country town in the midwest and I'm becoming convinced that nobody here has ever even heard the word 'reggae'.

I tried Craigslist, Meetup, MeetMe, and every other social media platform but I got nothing. I'm moving to San Diego in two years so hopefully, I'll find people to jam with then but I'm so bored in the meantime.

No. 100728

>>100673
Yeah I just left something like that and just go after him. Be 100% real but don't fuck his friend. Ditch the bastard and find some new friends. That's what I did and I haven't had a problem with the new group. Let the truth out bro.

No. 100745

I wish I had cancer or some deadly shit just so I'd know I'd die and couldn't back out. I'm so fucking tired of everything.

No. 100758

>>100679
Someone else, but very glad and relieved to hear you're feeling better.

No. 100759

>>100745
What's making you so tired?

No. 100835

I hate always having the "last word" when I message someone. Does anyone know what I'm talking about? It feels like I said something wrong/like I don't have a life because I'm talking to someone who is too busy to respond. This always happens to me and I wish for once I was the person who doesn't respond

No. 100846

I know it's petty, but I'm a little fearful for the route my friend is going. I've made many friends that come from broken homes and especially as of late seem to be trying to "right" their lives through social media. Of course, there's nothing inherently wrong in that, but this friend in particular is starting down the tumblr/Instagram attention seeking route. At first it was just flower crown selfies with essays of "motivational" writing, but last night he posted a borderline crying selfie and I'm starting to think that maybe this is going a little too far.
However, I don't want to rain on his parade. He's been the most confident and happy he's been in years and I don't want to take that away from him. But I also don't want to see him become ignorant and posted to sites such as this one.
I've seen a former friend posted here before and I would rather not see it again, especially with someone so fragile.

No. 100848

>>100846
That's not petty at all, anon. That is a tough situation though. He might have to learn his own lesson in this case.

No. 100867

My abusive exboyfriend was really into this one music genre and the subculture surrounding it, which indirectly caused me to hate it.

I feel bad now though because I'm kind of…getting into it? Some of my friends recommended me some artists in that genre and it's pretty much all I've been listening to recently. I actually really like it but I feel sick when ever I think of my ex's connections to it.

It's such a silly thing but I don't know how to get over it.

No. 100872

>>100867
That's not silly anon, it makes sense – you've been conditioned to associate that music with abuse. Same thing has happened to me. It will take a while to get over the association, please don't berate yourself for feeling terrible about it.

No. 100943

I fucking hate Pokemon Go right now. I actually left my house today to go to a pokestop and even caught some Pokemon along the way but as soon as I finally get to the stop it crashes and won't load for shit. i hate everything. Also I got lost trying to find my way back.

No. 100991

>>99686
Ugh, that is really unfortunately, but of course third-fourth gen blacks can act this way and never be called out on it.

No. 101037

I waste all my time online

No. 101081

I'm an overly sensitive piece of shit and could really use some advice, I have no clue what I'm supposed to do. Literally none.

I'm prideful as all fuck and can't handle rejection.
There was this one time when I and some people I knew agreed to hang out on the saturday (we spoke on wednesday, I believe). Nobody talked to me so I assumed it was canceled, but imagine my surprise when they started posting on social media about how they were having fun. I was upset as fuck and never spoke to them again.
Last week something similar happened and I haven't spoken to them yet. I've never had many friends but I believed these people now were friends, but they make very little effort to include me and interact.

I'm not especially boring, afaik, and I'm not annoying or obnoxious either. I can't find anything wrong with me (trust me, I looked) but for some reason this keeps happening. I think it might just be me being overly sensitive but it doesn't seem like too much to ask of the people you're supposedly close to to actually… treat you as a friend.

What the fuck do I do?

No. 101083

>>101081
you should get some real friends and not superficial faggots like that

No. 101084

>>101037
Me too. Having a smartphone has made it so much worse

No. 101123

>>101081
Find better friends or make more of an effort to make yourself included? Do you initiate conversations or do you wait for them to talk to you?

>>101084
Same here anon. I log off my computer at night, just to pick up my phone/tablet anyway.

No. 101124

>>101083
First ones certainly were but current ones are not superficial at all. They're pretty nice people all around.

No. 101125

I was looking forward to my first DnD campaign in years but the DM cancelled because he went to the beach last weekend and is now a lobster. He's too blistered and sunburnt to DM. I feel for him but I'm also really sad because I was looking forward to it for so long.

No. 101126

>start playing turn-based strategy games bc it looks fun
>too retarded to understand everything going on on the screen, like wtf
>feel stupid

:(

No. 101129

>>101123
I'm so addicted to the dopamine rush that I feel depressed if I pick up my phone and have no notifications. That is mostly due to me being a loner and not really knowing anyone but the addiction point still stands.

No. 101132

>>101126
I know that feel. Civ 5 was pretty easy to get a hold of after a few hours but any other game has made me clueless so far.

No. 101137

>>101126
Have you tried any of the Heroes of Might and Magic or King's Bounty games? I feel like they're excellent RTS games but are also pretty easy to get a handle on.

No. 101230

>>101125
Hey, i'm in the exact same boat as you, except my DM has a very unpredictable chronic illness that sends him to the emergency room occasionally. But it's not like the campaign is gonna be put off forever, it's just on hold right? So you just have to wait a bit longer. I've been in campaigns that were on hold for months at a time, doesn't mean they're canceled forever.

No. 101235

>>100835
I feel like that kind of anxiety goes both ways, if i don't have the last word i feel like an asshole for not responding. But it's also the same way you describe it, like i'm annoying and that there's a reason the person isn't responding anymore. It probably boils down to having abandonement issues, like growing up with unloving parents or some shit…

No. 101239

>>101235
idk, my parents gave me tons of love and that's why I have such a borderline-ish reaction when someone seems to be ignoring me. Because growing up I never experience being neglected. So it goes both ways.

No. 101256

>>101230
Yeah you're right. I was just looking forward to it so much. I tried looking for groups to join on roll20 but it doesn't seem very newbie friendly. Which I feel I am since it's been so long since I played.

No. 101265

Ever since my dad lost his job he got super lazy. He won't even answer a phone call or the door anymore and just chooses to watch tv or play games all day. He says he's looking for a job but no one has ever actually seen him apply. Anytime he is on the computer it's reading the news or playing a game. Every month gets ore and more dire but he has this happy go lucky attitude about it and acts as if money will just magically appear in front of us.

We all have some source of money except my sister cause she isn't able to work yet but it isn't enough. We need him bringing income in and he won't get off his ass to do it. Hell, he can't even do minor housework half the time and I've lost so much respect for him that i'm about to just start calling him by his name. He doesn't really act like a parent anymore. All I see is some guy who just kinda lives with us. He used to be so hardworking and now it's like all he does is put away that beer and stare at computer and television screens. The most he does is change litter boxes and feed the cats. Any repairs that need done that he insists on doing he waits until something important we need to do comes up or until we borderline require a repairman to fix.

The dude is driving me crazy.

No. 101271

>>101265
…depression? I swear I'm not making excuses. But it's a possibility.

No. 101276

>>101271
I don;t know honestly. I wouldn't say that but…i mean he's always been kind of a grumpy and impatient dude but now he's just straight up asshole level. I don't know what his deal is and he gets beyond pissed if you ask him about it. I could move out or leave if I wanted to but I can't put my mom or sis in a position like that. I don't think my mom is gonna put up with it much longer anyway.

No. 101290

I've been clean for maybe 3 or 4 months now but the cravings are coming back. I prepared myself for this happening by deleting my dealers number when I quit cocaine but I could probably get some if I wanted to. I just don't know why it's come back after 4 months? I really don't want to start using again but it's hard.

No. 101335

>>101290

you're doing a pretty good job anon. I don't know exactly how you feel, but it must be tough.

No. 101338

>>101123
I initiate conversations IRL but to be fair I don't really text, ever. I think this may be the problem since everyone talks to each other online… but idk man, they're Facebook kids and I've been on the internet for way too long. I don't understand their ways when it comes to social media, using their own real names and having their mom as friend, etc.

I'll just give up I guess

No. 101362

I sad and angry because I want to work but I basically can't really.
Tomorrow I'll start working at an ice cafe but I won't be getting the money I deserve. My parents are on welfare (Harz 4 in Germany) and I'm only 17 so 60% of the money I make from work will be cut off. From the money I make in a month I will only get the money for a week. This is so frustrating and tomorrow I'll have to tell the chef because I didn't know it was for part time jobs too. Ugh I feel kind of embarrassed but I can't/won't not go because that would be disrespectful… I fought in my own way for this job dammit

No. 101365

*I'm
And they probably won't give me the job (I'm on a testing time first) because that's a problem for them, too.

No. 101386

>>101362
I read Harz 4 as T4. As in Aktion T4.

I'm so sorry.

No. 101585

I wish I could kill my attraction to men and/or my libido. Nothing to do with politics or lesbianism or anything, but I know my life would be so much easier for multiple reasons if I was aromantic and asexual.

But then again, I miiight want a family someday and I don't want to permanently ruin my chance of that. This is such a conundrum.

No. 101591

>be a lesbian
>male best friend
>he tries to set me up with this really cute girl
>she seems interested
>find out he's actually been fucking her for weeks and i never had a chance
>they just changed their fb status to in a relationship

well fuck you too then you fucking shitheads

No. 101593

File: 1468025134150.png (12.27 KB, 987x579, 1322532945001-1.png)


No. 101594

>>101591
WHAT. Anon I hope you punched them in the face or worse.

No. 101600

>>101591
What kind of best friend does that?

No. 101609

>>101591
Sounds like he was hoping for a threesome.

No. 101621

I hate being in my 20s. I miss being a wee obnoxious Emo kid, geeking out to AFI and MCR, wearing those long striped sleeves and watching the nightmare before Christmas and death note. I was an ugly fucker but so much happier because I had low standards and enjoyed such stupid shit. Growing up made me a bitter cunt tbh

Maybe id be happier if I made more friends who are into alternative stuff.

No. 101626

>>101591
What in the ever loving fuck? Time to take out the trash, anon.

No. 101628

>>101627

Get Mcdos stfu

No. 101629

File: 1468046270179.png (273.33 KB, 555x370, 309111.png)

I don't know what to do about family gatherings anymore. I'm Hispanic and Hispanics have big gatherings. I can't remember all their names nor effectively speak to them in Spanish since I get too nervous and I can't dance to all their old Mexi-music (and they will never play anything in English or modern Spanish music). I really dislike these big gatherings tbh and after each one my sis and I get nagged about being bad, boring daughters and embarrassing the family by not dancing and having a good time.

I try to be polite and say hello and eat and whatnot but neither of us are vivacious. I'm older than my sis though so I get it worst. None of my cousins are partiers either so they think I've been a bad influence on all the rest of them because they are younger. Last time there was a gathering the older folk were dancing and me and all of my cousins were in the living room watching anime (Princess Jellyfish).

Can't wait till we are hosting the parties, we'll put on all the anime and video games and shitty edm we want.

No. 101630

>>101629
Honestly, you all sound like buzzkills. Why not try and participate in your culture? One day you're going to regret not learning more about it. Your family gatherings sound fun. Can you at least try to dance for a while instead of being a closed off introvert from the get go?

I don't understand what it is with second genners and rejecting culture. Shit's interesting. Watching animu and playing vidya for family gatherings is boring and weeby.

No. 101633

>>101630
Dancing is the greatest point of contention. I can expect to pretty much always get made fun of for being too prudish (no, I'm not comfortable trying to look/act sexually with family). Or being told I should get implants. But then I've lost track of how many times I've been scolded for wearing a mini-skirt or not wearing bloomers under my dresses or whatever. I don't know what the sweet spot for socially acceptable sexy Latina is.

"Mija why don't you want to look sexier?"

Auntie that's weird :/

No. 101634

So it's 4AM, at around an hour ago I was in the living room and heard as if someone was trying to open the door, but very quietly. I fully assumed it was my door because my first thought was that it was my brother, despite being 3AM. I had a video playing, and paused it to get my laptop off my lap to check, but once I paused it the noises stopped. I go to check the peep hole just seconds after I heard the noise, it took me like 2 footsteps to get to the door, but there was nothing there. Now I'm not completely sure if I should be making a big deal out of this, and keep questioning what or how much i heard.

what's worse is that i google my city's name to find that 2 people were arrested 2 days ago for armed robbery plus

>An unrelated robbery occurred Thursday night, at around 3:10 a.m. The assault and robbery sent the victims to the Hospital for non-life threatening injuries, police said


i'm probably overreacting, but i'm scared as fuck right now and feel like i desperately want to move, get a gun, a dog, and buy strong door locks.

No. 101638

>>101630
I'll never understand how lolcow can be so conservative and shit on immigrants for not assimilating then turn around and shit on their kids for assimilating. What the fuck do you people want? In extroverted collectivist cultures a family gathering is just family shitting on you if you deviate even the slightest from what a "Mexican" or a "Cuban" or a "Filipino", etc, is supposed to be. It starts with, "Why aren't you a doctor?" "Why don't you look like your cousin?" "Why are you so fat?" "Why are you so skinny?" "Why can't you dance?", then goes into more specific jabs and insults. Flesh and blood can get more brutal than any of you cunts ever are on here, and they feel perfectly justified in saying it because it's in a fun setting they're just trying to "help". And this isn't just me being whiny, this seems to be a universal experience between me and my less extroverted 2nd gen friends.

Personally, >>101629, I've just stopped going to these things when I'm asked to and only go of I know I can be at least 75% into it and can manage the thick skin I'll need, otherwise it's not going to be fun for anyone. Playing weeb music and EDM is a terrible idea, you'll never hear the end of it for years and no one will have fun. I can deeply relate to watching anime with all your cousins and everyone having a good time. I hope family gatherings go better for you in the future.

No. 101654

>>101630
>second generation
>rejecting culture

Clearly you've never met one of these militant asian americans like Eddie Huang. They're far more vociferous about muh culture than even their parents.

It's also not a good thing.

No. 101693

>>101633
I apologise anon, you didn't mention that they were being critical. Can you just stop going, or be conveniently busy when reunions are on? I get called the 'anti-social cousin' for not showing up to family reunions, but you stop caring after a while. Otherwise, you're just going to have to grin and bear it.

>>101638
>grouping the entirety of lolcow into a single entity
I am 2nd gen, you dickhead. Not everybody on here is an ultra conservative Trump shill. I am also deeply introverted and have caught plenty of flack at family gatherings, so I know exactly what you're on about. Maybe it has been a 'universal experience' for you and your friends, but I have 2nd gen friends who go to and leave family gatherings without a hitch. Anon never said that they were getting shit on by their family, so I wrongly assumed that they didn't like their own culture.

Why do you have to be so black and white? Families being overly critical isn't an absolute. You and your sample size of yourself and your one friend means jack. You can assimilate into Western society without completely abandoning your culture, and you can embrace your culture without completely rejecting Western society.

>>101654
Where did I say that you should go full >muh heritage? Another anon viewing things in black and white, no greys at all. You are allowed to appreciate your own culture and Western culture at the same time. Shocking, right?

No. 101797

>>101693
Sorry anon, I assumed you were some white ultra conservative so I made a post someone like that would maybe understand. Obviously it's not black and white, but that's the only thing people seem to understand here.

That's not cool of you to assume I've only got one friend on this shit though, I've managed to befriend 2nd gens of all personalities and ethnicities. While it's true some don't mind and roll with it, not everyone can. And honestly, if someone's frustrated with their family, they're almost definitely being forced to conform or being shit on in some way.
The worst I've ever seen was a gay friend in a super Catholic family who spent a three or four months in his home country. For us, if you're being sent back like that, it means your family thinks you're a total fuck up and they want to change you to not be such a disappointment. When he came back he had super short hair (for as as long as I had known him, he had long hair he maintained very well) and had a change of life plans and goals. He killed himself shortly after. Obviously you can't blame it all on the family, but the high pressure environment certainly didn't help his mental health.

I guess that example is a bit extreme, but it'll always stick with me. I'm not as social as I used to be, so I've been living more in my immigrant family bubble and have learned to be ok with it. I'm not truly someone from back home, and I'm not truly someone from here, but that's alright. Family is a crapshoot, but most of the time that's all you got.

No. 101802

>>101693
Western Culture by and large belongs to white people. It's not fair for foreign groups to cling to a racially exclusive culture to which other groups are expressly not allowed to consider themselves a part of, and then claim on the flipside they should be allowed to consider everything from Roman Law and Art to Shakespeare "just as much their culture" as it is a white person's.

No. 102208

I'm sick of living with my family. I'm 20 and live at home, currently searching for a job and I'm in college. I'm the youngest in my family so my mom has always been over protective of me.

I'm severely depressed right now and the only time I feel happy is when I meet my boyfriend but my mom has should a huge fucking problem with me leaving the house, yet when I don't go anywhere she then complains that I'm a leech and I'm useless(even though most of the time I leave the house it's for job hunting).

Just now she told me that I'm "not allowed" to leave the house for one week. She didn't even give me a reason.

I wanna leave asap, I feel like I'm hitting a rebellious puberty phase late in my life, but honestly, living with her is suffocating.

No. 102374

Does anyone else get excessively paranoid when they send a message to someone? I'll go over their message and my response multiple times, mainly because I'm paranoid of missing some sort of information and making myself look like an ass. That doesn't stop it though and it still happens occasionally. I'll look over older messages sometimes and notice something stupid I said/did that I didn't realize before despite combing over everything at the time. I think I may have some sort of memory/attention/obsessive disorder or issue…

No. 102385

My social circle's pretty thin. I only have two friends that I talk to on a monthly basis. The obvious answer would be to either join a hobbyist club or to try and buddy up with co-workers, but I'm really bad at being discerning and it's not a comfortable situation for me.

Asking one of my roommates, who as far as I know is pretty socially successful, to bring me along to a party and to introduce me to her friends has backfired; she's on some weird extortion trip in which I have to earn the privilege to talk to the same people she talks to. It's not like I'm giving her foot massages or emptying my bank account, it's all petty stuff like requests to make her coffee or loan her some clothes prefaced with a verbal "…and to think I was going to invite you out with some friends next weekend". At this point I'm almost positive she's doing it as a joke, but every time I laugh it off or ask her for a concrete schedule she keeps up the act and says something about how I don't deserve it because I disobeyed her when I refused to do ______ a few days ago.
It turns me on a lot. I feel disgusting and need to find a way to make friends before the whole semi-isolation lifestyle drives me crazy, but as far as I can tell it's not too damaging and I don't see why I should go out of my way to stop it from happening.
>>102374
Definitely. I like to draft messages in a word processor once or twice before I send them to friends or family. Most of the time it's just checking for subtle negative connotations, sentences that could be easily misconstrued, and proper grammar.

No. 102443

>>102385
Your roommate sounds like a cunt. Doesn't matter if you're turned on by it. That's like saying it's okay for someone's asshole boyfriend to push them around because they're "okay" with it.

No. 102451

Pretty sure I'm starting to develop an unhealthy relationship with food. About 90% of those 60-second recipe videos people share on Facebook make me almost gag because they just look so unhealthy. So many of them keep piling on the fucking cheese and I just… I just can't. It doesn't help that the vast majority of my friends on there who post these things are overweight themselves, making my mind go "this is why they're fat".

No. 102453

>>102451

Don't watch them then?

No. 102455

File: 1468278075805.png (383.19 KB, 894x894, 84327983724870.png)

>>102451
Stop watching Tasty videos. They're not even that original or good.


>started playing PokemonGo

>hesitant to play since I started late and my area doesn't have many or good pokemon
>it's actually giving me something to look forward to outside whereas I normally hate public exercise
>started ssri so I actually have been feeling a lot better
>walk with bf
>it's helping our previously strained relationship
>it's fun seeing other people and making small talk
>start seeing posts on fb about pokemongo "creepers"
>read the stories thinking awkward autismo guys are ruining shit
>actually it's just a bunch of antisocial SJWs who think guys saying hi or approaching them to ask if they're playing is a form of social assault
>mfw I got attacked by SJWs for telling one girl to get over herself
I mean she was posting Brock gifs and then got pissed when I pointed out that none of the guys she encountered hit on her and she was just mad that they couldn't read her mind about not wanting to talk wtf. No guy would call me a creep if I asked in a public area if he was playing pokemon, or tapped him on the shoulder or whatever.

No. 102461

>>102451
Related, I have a friend who is very stressed out about being overweight, and every time we have lunch/dinner I can't help but think to myself that it's so obvious why she can't lose more than 10 pounds. :|

No. 102462

>>102451
>>102461
#garbagefriends

No. 102485

Pretty sure I just found evidence of my 15 year old stepdaughter sneaking behind our backs to fuck her ex-boyfriend. I don't have the goddamn energy to deal with this shit right now and her dad is working this week.

No. 102490

>>102485
She's gonna do it regardless of what you say. Best you do everything in your power to not let the worst happen (pregnancy and/or a nasty std).

No. 102496

>>102490
No, I agree. I'm mostly pissed that she lied because we made it perfectly clear to her when she started dating her boyfriend that, even though we prefer her not to have sex, we'd rather her be safe than knocked up. Fucking kids though, right?

No. 102506

>>102485
You have a 15 year old step daughter? Lol nice.

No. 102616

>>102606
I'm not a robot you stupid bitch, I live in a country where I get harrassed every day and it's gotten to the point where I have to watch how I dress and act because it's infested with people who think this is 7th century Arabia. How the fuck do you think that shit is ok? Islam is what would happen if the most bitter most misogynistic robots got together to invent a religion, and you're defending that.

Thread just got locked but I needed to get that off my chest, that's all.

No. 102631

Yesterday was my grandpa's 93rd birthday. My family was, according to my grandma, the only ones who called or sent him something. My grandparents have four other kids and none of them even called.

I don't know. It makes me sad. I'm not that close to them personally or distance-wise (we live ~1500 miles away) but he's probably not going to be around much longer.

No. 102700

Today for shits and giggles I decided to dig up my parents' wedding album and flip through it.

I couldn't make it through half the photos. They're just so…young and happy. The years have not been kind to them, turns out they weren't such a good match (but never divorced - doesn't happen in our culture), had two fuck-up daughters. I'm a college dropout with bipolar and adhd, one suicide attempt, was NEET for a few years. My sister isn't much better. I just got a job that I'm optimistic about so things are looking up but I was on a completely shitty path going nowhere for several years before that.

I feel so fucking guilty. My parents don't deserve retard children like me and my sister. They used to be happy, then life happened to deal them not one but two fuck-ups, while their siblings had children who went onto diplomacy and business and academia, seriously.

I hate myself.

No. 102703

>>102485
Whoa, how old are you?
You could be the cool young mom

No. 102712

I've been working on a huge haul with Aliexpress for weeks now, I finally put all fucking 46 items to cart and tried to pay and it came up with an error. It doesn't let me repay everything at once so after I'd verified my card was working I had to cancel every SINGLE item and message each seller so they didn't leave me back feedback.
And now after a week of sorting it out I've added it all to cart and done it all aaaaand the same error has come up
Fuck this site, I don't want to pay for every item individually!

No. 102713

File: 1468382204456.png (127.26 KB, 306x302, Crying_on_the_Inside.png)

Holyshit I just had one of the worst interviews ever. It was for this freelance teaching job that has pretty decent pay that my friend is a part of. It's all done online on their cluttered AF interface and all they gave me was some basic video of how it works and didn't even tell us how to even authorize students to use the communication tool. So I basically did a bastardized version of the whole demo lesson and the woman on the other end never bothered to tell me. And the company is from Hong Kong, so there was just this old asian woman basically at the end just being like "lol that was shit. You can reschedule a new demo lesson so you can practice some more" And I was super nervous the whole time because honestly they just give us the material and expected us to come up with this super exciting and upbeat lesson for little kids, which sounds super easy but when its just you and some old woman on the other line your nerves just get the best of you and ahhhghgsadkjasldkfjasdjadklfj

in person interviews are so much better than that shit that just went down. I'm cringing so fucking hard at myself plz help me lolcow

No. 102715

I love to loiter

No. 102724

I hate my appearance so much I think about suicide almost everyday. I one time spent two hours in the car crying because I wanted to go to the mall but was too ashamed to go in

No. 102759

>>102713
I'm sorry anon, at least they've given you another opportunity though? Goal visualisation (imagining scenarios and how you will deal with them) is even used by the army now so just keep preparing yourself. If you are nervous talking to strangers, maybe subject yourself to some omegle voice chat hell. If you can keep a straight face and talk lesson plans to people in deadpool masks that are trying to troll you, you can do anything.

>>102724
You should get some help anon. I doubt you are ugly but if you truly are then that's not the real problem because ugly people can still live wonderful lives. If you can see a therapist or counsellor you should, but if not there will be some sort of free support call line or email service in your area, and if you have friends you should try to talk to them. Exercise and a balanced diet can help you keep your mind in check, you can do this.

No. 102803

File: 1468440624475.png (187.99 KB, 500x313, 13832923.png)

>>102724
>I hate my appearance so much I think about suicide almost everyday.

I know you're posting this just to vent and you're probably not looking for solutions or advice, however, after many years of struggling with the same issues myself (having depression and anxiety to boot) I was finally so overwhelmed I got a counselor through my workplace. I went to my first appointment today and when I brought up my self-confidence issues and suicidal ideations she recommended cognitive behavioral therapy. Apparently at this point people like us have to rework how our mind processes feelings and how it finds solutions to problems.

>two weeks ago

>friends want to go out to art gallery meetup
>gained so much weight every dress looked like shit on me if it fit
>after years of working to lose 60 pounds I gained it all back in just four months
>crying liquid frustration at myself
>told my friends I wasn't going for that reason
>they encouraged me to show in toned down normie clothes anyway
>I did
>show up in normie clothes three sizes too big because I'm scared of fitted clothes
>friend took pictures and posted them to fb
>I look fatter than usual and awful
>cry hard
>tfw I didn't say anything bc I knew how irrational it was to get irritated at a friend over my insecurities about pictures nobody actually cares about

No. 102805

My SO is coming to America for the first time next week, and he'll be staying with me at my parents place. Honestly I think we are both checked out of this relationship at this point. I've been back to america to visit my family (I live in his country) for a few weeks now. He never says he misses me or loves me or anything. I can't even remember the last time he said it. I'm always the one to initiate it. My mom is super excited to have foreign people in our house, so she keeps trying to make all of these plans and stuff, but I can't even get excited about it.

There is so much pressure as well, because when he doesn't get his way or if I don't plan something 100% to his liking, he just shuts down and treats me like I just purposely betrayed him and I'm doing it because I want to make his life miserable. My plan was to get my license while I was back in town, because I never got one and I've just been out of the country so long. Since his parents sprung this trip on him (He isn't even paying for it himself) I had about a month to learn how to drive and pass the driving test with the instructor. Then my parents went on vacation for a week, and then my aunt offered me good money that I couldn't pass up just to watch her spoiled dogs and house sit while she goes to europe, and she lives out of town, so I'll be there almost two weeks with nobody to give me lessons. I let him know about this, and I shit you not he responded with "How the fuck could you do this to me?"

And to make matters worse, a really really really good friend from the country I was living in started texting me a lot more, and we always did get along pretty well. He's showing feelings for me, and I don't know if it's a grass is greener thing or what. But I miss just having a guy say nice things to me and tell me I'm beautiful. I miss having a SO that doesn't straight up say "Don't worry, I'll photoshop your face" when we take pictures together. I'd love to have someone not poke fun at my body, or force me to wear my hair a certain way by shutting down and getting pissy if I dont.

We've been dating for 2 years, but I think we are almost at the end. I'm at the point where I just don't care if we even break up. It's just awkward as fuck, because the rest of my family keeps going on and on about him coming and wanting to meet him. It's going to be awkward as fuck when the day comes and we do break up. I'm just so done guys.

No. 102811

>>102805
just break up with the guy and tell him to find somewhere else to stay, like that shit isnt rocket science.

No. 102831

>>102805
I dated somebody who sounds exactly like your ex. For your sake, break up with him because he just sounds like he's going to tear you down even more until you have no self confidence left.

No. 102832

>>102831
I mean *current boyfriend not ex

No. 102853

I don't think I can have children and frankly I'm not handling that very well. I have a health issue that makes conceiving a child incredibly difficult and I've already miscarried in the past but I refuse to go see any medical professional about the possibility of infertility. I know I'm not ready to have kids so I rationalize not looking into it that way because I tell myself that I shouldn't worry about it right now because if I can or cannot wouldn't make much of a difference at this point in time outside of emotions. If I can't have children then I'll be devastated and I want to put that off for as long as possible. But not knowing is also making me bitter and angry. I see people I know talking about how they never wanted children and are glad they don't have them and it hurts. I want to tell them they're stupid and selfish for saying things like that but really I'm the stupid one for getting so emotional over someone else's choices that don't affect my life. But it bothers me that people can talk about how awful it is to have kids and how thankful they are to not have them when they don't know what others' situations are like. No one knows this is a problem. I can't talk about it. I don't want to be bitter and angry towards people but I can't help thinking that they're ungrateful. Maybe finding out for sure could help but if it's bad news then I'd feel so useless. I was so broken down after miscarrying so I can't even imagine what it will feel like to find out for sure.

No. 102855

>>102853
>No one knows this is a problem.
Lots of people are aware of fertility problems and many people are infertile anon.
There are online support groups for it, and at the very least you should talk to a professional about your feelings to see if there are any resources for you. Take care of yourself.

No. 102864

>>102853
if you're so bitter and angry about it just fucking go to a doctor, you're not doing anything for yourself by just worrying. miscarriages are really common so I wouldn't worry about it until you're actively tying to conceive. in the meantime you could try and go to therapy and talk about your miscarriage and focus on other things that make you feel good. you seem self aware so try and be kind to yourself

No. 102896

>>102867

Just b urself brah

No. 102930

>>102803
I have a psychologist and she tells me I am distorted and that it's probably due to my bipolar because she has met others like me. I don't even look the same every time I look at myself.

Also I am sorry to hear about your weight issue I hope everything works out. I am the same with pictures too

No. 102931

>>102759
Sorry for double posting but thank you. I am trying to get help but I don't know if anything will work

No. 102959

>tfw you realize you're so awkward at socializing that your youngish married male coworker thinks you have a crush on him

I hate being a social retard.

No. 102972

Sorry dudes it's a novel:
I dated a disgusting well known older man that works in my same field, and I just want him to fall off the Earth. I learned only after we broke up the extent of how disgusting he was. Full on sociopath narcissist , it started out as a hook up and then we caught feelings. Found out the extent of his drug addiction and that he was always cheating on me. We were both mutually into more of a bdsm relationship, but I was the only one able to keep that separate from reality. He grew up in an extremely abusive household and he's basically a younger version of his dad. Towards the end of our relationship he admitted being into more violent things, underage girls, and specific races. Because he's a sociopath and an addict for almost all of his adult life, he's extremely good at manipulating people.

I think most people are done with his shit though because he's 40 years old, his drug use shows on his slimy weathered and aged face (and like I said he has an age obsession), and everyone I've met that knew him doesn't have one good thing to say. The person he's dating now is a certified idiot that's, objectively speaking, ugly or at the most "average" with nothing going for her in life. He was seeing her before we met, but continued seeing her while we dated because he's wildly insecure and I just got so sick of him. I didn't break up because some difficult life situations came up for me and I convinced myself I needed his illusion of support. He was a fucking asshole about everything because he knew I didn't actually care about him either after the first two weeks and I saw who he really was. I was just going through the dumbest of shit and kept him probably as a way to self harm.

Now I'm deeply embarrassed for allowing someone so pathetic into my life, angry because he's so lame, but I also do not give a fuck because his life is so fucked and he's a joke. I learned from him, but it still hurts I let him in for a moment out of spite for myself. It was kind of a rock bottom.

The only thing I fear is running into anyone we're mutual friends with, because anyone that's ok with him must be pathetic scum too, and I would be caught between wanting them to know he's a monster but also wanting to express how insignificant he is by not caring. He's reached out to me before like nothing happened and I wanted to throw up.

I have recently had extremely positive opportunities in my life come up and I just want to move on, but all that experience did was fuck up my trust in the world. Him just straight lying to my face was fucked, constantly accusing me of cheating, and trying to convince me I wasn't good enough when I've always been treated in the exact opposite way. It was just the most vulnerable time in my life and here I am dealing with the aftermath.

No. 102974

>>102724
Exact same problem, I feel for you anon.
Mine is caused my anxiety and body dysmorphia after being bullied by jealous girls. It's a fight or flight response, and therapy does help. The best thing I've universally heard from professionals is exposure therapy, but enlist a professional and let them know about your goals of getting this under control. It sucks and it's uncomfortable, and you will cry but you'll be really relieved when your perspective begins to get restored. After you feel like you make even a little progress it gets easier I promise. Like anything habitual, you might have a relapse in that toxic way of thinking but you have to center yourself and try to stay calm instead of disassociating.

You belong on this planet as much as everyone else and I promise it does get better, you just need to learn more tools. When you do the work you can look at yourself in the mirror with pride that you're overcoming these issues, because it's not easy but you're still here which means you can persevere. Good luck anon.

No. 102990

File: 1468542444764.jpg (145.85 KB, 574x1024, Demeter.jpg)

I hate that my bf doesn't give a shit about my hobbies and interests like I do with his. It makes me feel like shit and makes me question our relationship.

I don't think I'm a boring person. I love learning new things and sharing and discussing them with people, mainly with him because he's really smart. Yet, so often when I'm excited about something and want to share, I can barely get his attention, he has no input, or god forbid, those few times where he says "you've told me this already" or "I don't care".

I don't know how many times he's shared with me shit that I don't care about, but I love him and love to see him excited about things, so I listen, ask questions, and engage.

Pic related is what I'm learning about currently.

No. 102994

>>102972
>Because he's a sociopath and an addict for almost all of his adult life
>he's extremely good at manipulating people
>The person he's dating now is a certified idiot >ugly or at the most "average" with nothing going for her in life
>anyone that's ok with him must be pathetic scum too

Well honestly, you were okay with him at one point too and obviously that didn't make you a scumbag. You were just vulnerable and you had feelings for someone you thought you could trust. And as you said, since he's so manipulative and good at buttering up people, don't be so quick to judge others because they're in the position you were in at some point. Have compassion for them because they're going to be his next victims.

No. 102995

>>102972
This venting about how terrible he is/how dumb and ugly his current gf is is all well and good, but your next step needs to be engaging in so serious self-reflection in order to figure out why YOU were attracted to him in the first place. If you don't do this, I can almost guarantee your next partner will be just as bad, if not worse. I don't mean judge you, but you sound like someone who is at serious risk for falling into a toxic dating pattern if you don't take some time out to work on your self-esteem.

No. 102997

>>102994
Oh, I had to vent about her because she knew he was attempting to be in a relationship with me and slept with him anyways. She subtly flaunted it on instagram, so as a woman I can't respect her. Thank you for your thoughtful response.

>>102995
No you're totally right and I really appreciate your feedback. I had a relationship with a great guy, but broke up because he was the opposite way, and was really obsessive. I haven't been in a relationship since last Winter and I'm really enjoying it. It's just the period of rebuilding self esteem that sucks because it's slow, so the venting helps. Thank you also for reading all of that!

No. 102998

>>102990
You're not currently taking a summer course on the classics, are you anon?

No. 103056

My husband is my lolcow today. I mean, I love this guy, but right now he's ridiculous.
Today I came home and could literally not get into the entrance because his shoes were all over it. So I moved them around, walked into the living room and said "Dude, you have way too many shoes. You need to pick them up, I couldn't even get through the door right now" - he did a "You do that too!" thing and then ignored me for 15 minutes before telling me he never wants to speak to me again (me: "Do you want to get a divorce because I told you to clean up your shoes?" him: "I don't want a divorce, I just don't want to talk to you again") and leaving our appartment.
I'm not even… angry or sad or anything, just bewildered. He'll cool down in a few hours and come back, but seriously, am I married to a fucking teenager or what?

No. 103090

>>103056
Sounds like my ex.
Came home from my second job just wanting to chill with the bf. He says he's "too tired" to hang out. He was unemployed at the time and spending all his days playing PS1 games. I made a little, sarcastic comment on how exhausting full a day of FFVII must be (after I spent the last 8 hours in a shitty nursing home) and he totally flips shit.
He moves out less than 24 hours after I made that one comment, saying "I pushed him to the edge".
We were engaged and planning a wedding, but looking back I think I dodged a bullet there.

No. 103155

>>103090
That actually sounds a lot worse lol. My husband works full time and he's stressed over studies on top of that. He came back an hour and a half later yesterday and apologised, just as expected. But yeah, someone just playing video games is not marriage material.

No. 103159

>skinnyfat all through my teens
>finally decide to get healthy and active
>feel really good about myself
>friends treat me like anachan
>"anon u werent FAT y u diet"
>can't get across to them that skinny=/=healthy

No. 103168

>>103159
oh god making ANY comment on my body in high school was torture. I literally just told one of my friend I wasn't curvy (because I'm not, I'm a ruler shape) and she literally slapped me in the face and was like "Shut up you're beautiful" like cunt fuck off.

No. 103227

File: 1468627129570.jpg (49.9 KB, 454x750, Dionysus.jpg)

>>102998
Nope, not even in school anymore. I just picked up a book recently that discusses sexuality in Ancient Greece and now I'm a tad obsessed with mystery cults.

The book is called "Sacred Sexuality" by Georg Feuerstein, if you're interested. Although the general idea of the book is about embracing your sexuality, a good majority of it discusses the history of sexuality, starting from the paleolithic era all the way up to modern times. It's really fascinating!

No. 103238

>>103227
My impression was that the Greek conception of women's sexuality was pretty unforgiving.

No. 103239

>>103238
Women were perceived as more wanton and sexually obsessed than men, who were more stoical.

No. 103241

>>103239
>>103239
But wasn't the role of the 'penetrated' in greek society a kind of shit deal?

No. 103281

>>103090
He did you a favor that would have been a huge mistake, and he probably got that mad out of insecurity.

I accidentally dated someone instagram "famous" and because I guess I'm more aloof he got so insecure to the point of throwing a tantrum because I don't him whistling was annoying. He thought that was a great prerequisite to tell me about his childhood abuse, how i was using reverse psychology, cried to manipulate him, how i poorly handled his erectile dysfunction, how he didn't like having to wait four hours between my texts while i was at work, etc.

And he had the tiny little rat balls to call me hysterical when I told him I wasn't putting up with his circus.

No. 103283

i'm tired of my feelings not being taken into consideration, whereas i have to do whatever it takes to keep my boyfriend and his parents happy. i get blamed for my boyfriend's brother treating me like shit for so many years, but his behaviour gets swept under the rug while mommy and daddy cater to his every whim. i feel ignored and resentful and if my boyfriend and i dont leave this house together soon, it will be me who walks.

No. 103288

>>103283
Sounds like you're dating an Asian guy.

No. 103290

File: 1468673411008.gif (498.66 KB, 1024x576, gonna vom.gif)

>tfw being forced to go to a wedding
>whole thing is going to be 12 hours long
I wouldn't mind if it were a short thing or if I could leave early, but my parents are really anal about me staying the whole 12 hours. I'm very introverted and anxious and would rather not be forced into being around people that long, doing small talk or dancing. Literally hell. Feeling so uneasy about the whole thing.

No. 103293

I'm so sick of being awkward and self-doubting, I always worry that I've offended people with what I say.

No. 103296

>>103293
Get onto retraining your brain, the link between language and psychology is pretty solid. Here are some tips a counsellor gave to me that have helped me:
Whenever you find yourself mentally berating yourself (calling yourself stupid etc) then notice it. Don't tell yourself off for it, don't think about why you do it, just take a second to go "ah, I did it again", and then get back on with whatever you were meant to be doing.

This sounds really dumb but try to say thank you to your thoughts/brain whether internally or out loud. It's doing it's best and probably only ever gets complaints from you as a result. Sometimes saying things like "thank you for worrying about whether or not I locked the door, that's an important job well done, but I know that the door is locked and so you don't have to worry anymore and your job is done".

Look at the way you use language with people. Try to say thank you instead of sorry.
E.g. "Thank you for taking the time to help me out again" rather than "Sorry that I'm no good". This takes a lot of practice but people like being thanked and feeling helpful, and having someone berate themselves in front of you can be uncomfortable.

As for being offensive it's sometimes good to just say "I often talk without thinking, please say if I mess up" or something, I have the same problem. Good luck!

No. 103304

>>102208
You are 20 she can't tell you to not leave the house.

No. 103410

>>103304
Legally, no, but there are many possible factors that make her leaving the house when told not to a bad idea for her.

No. 103416

>>103290
No one should be forced to going to a wedding.

And 12 hours?? Even the longest wedding I attended lasted about 6-7 and that was because the reception/after party went on for fucking ever. I honestly only went because it was my favorite aunt, but damn, weddings are awful.

Are you underaged or something? I just wouldn't go.

No. 103417

>>102208
nigga, you're going to be 21. Leave when you want.

No. 103419

>>102631
That's sad. I lost my grandma last year.. she was 94. It really hurt me. She lived with me the last few years before she was sent to a 24 hour nursing care facility because she needed help and we were no medical professionals. Try to call him more or send him cards?

It would make him happy. His other kids are shit.

No. 103420

>>102805
Don't be a coward. Break up with him now

No. 103423

Test

No. 103438

Today I outed two pieces of shits that I've been looking foward to out since literally months ago.

I feel good. So fucking good. Not having to talk or pretend interest in front of these cunts ever again.

No. 103439

>>103438
Outed how? As in gay, or as in they did something shitty and you snitched?

No. 103449

I have three things I need to get off my chest.


1) there's a flea infestation in my house and my feet are so goddamn itchy and Cortizone doesn't help. I'm in the middle of exterminating so they'll be gone soon I just hate itching lol.

2) my crazy paranoid-ass mom just fucking got into a shouting match with my neighbor at 1 AM because his chickens are too loud and he's racist and also on welfare or something. i fucking hate her sometimes she always begins a rivalry with my neighbors no matter where we live.

3) my friend is sending me snapchats of him and some of my other friends getting super drunk and playing tomb raider at their apartment and they look like they're having a blast. I had to move away from their city and haven't been able to make new friends at uni or in the city i moved to. I'm lonely af and I wish I could hang out with them.

On top of all that I've been dragging my feet about getting a job but I need one if I want to move away from my crazy passive-aggressive paranoid mom and get a social life.

No. 103460

>>103449

Equal parts apple cider vinegar and water on your affected areas might help with the itching!

No. 103480

>>103416
There was some miscommunication about how long it would be but it turned out to be around 8 hours all together. It went decently and I was able to manage my anxiety, but I still didn't really see the point in me being there the whole time. I'm not that close with my extended family, so I didn't really talk with them all that much. All I really did during the reception/dinner was sit around, explored the area a little, hung out with my brothers(they're pretty similar to me and got dragged into it as well) and nieces and nephews. It was okay. What upsets me though is how my parents reacted to me not wanting to stay that long. There was lots of shouting and threats directed towards me, at one point I was worried about being hit, but in the end I gave-in. I'm not underaged, but the way I get treated sometimes I may as well be.

No. 103482

I'm into makeup but hate "the community" because it seems everyone there is a fat feminist loudmouth addicted to highlighter. Why bother pretending that their makeup habit is some female empowerment thing? I guess it's a way to shift blame onto the patriarchy for everything but ffs can't I obsess over lipsticks without getting drawn into all that ~body positivity~ sperging.

No. 103483

I used to be friends with this one dude, but last week he blocked me on everything because I was visiting where he lives (and where my boyfriend, who I was visiting, also lives) and I didn't text him right away.
Last time I was visiting, he picked me up at the airport (apparently an great inconvenience for him, but I told him I was ok with just taking the train by myself to get into town and he insisted), so maybe it was shitty of me to not text him, but to be honest, he's been really… I dunno… Like he's got this ugly dominance thing, and that's never meshed well my being a strong independent womyn.
He's never approved of my boyfriend either, and my boyfriend's always tried really hard to get along with him for my sake. Why would I put my boyfriend through the awkwardness of trying yet again to please a friend that cannot be pleased? "friend" said i should dump him and he can set me up with another guy that he approves of, but fuckit, he's not my dad and he doesn't get to approve of what or who I do. Not even my dad gets to do that tbh cos he trusts me to make decisions on my own and learn from my mistakes. Friend also, when I was single, or when I had just met my bf, would say "oh it's not so bad to be single, my uncle didn't get married until he was 50" but then in almost the same breath harp on how he's engaged and how wonderful it is to be engaged, and I'm just like… lol yea ok.
And shortly after I left last time, he got into a huge fight with his fiancee, whom he moved in with RIGHT AWAY and got engaged to RIGHT AWAY like less than a month after his last fiancee dumped him, because she was still friends an ex, and that kind of bothered me. When I first met her 2 years ago, she seemed normal, well adjusted, had kids of her own from a previous relationship that she was still in contact with, family that she was still in contact with, a fulltime job, etc., but since then she's cut ties with her family and her kids because they're the bad ones (her kids are teenagers so ofc they're going to say snotty things to their mother from time to time, that's a thing teenagers just do) and has stopped working since her anxiety has gotten so bad. She's completely dependent on my former friend now. And when I said "oh this is weird that he just blocked me" it was her who came onto my facebook to guilt trip me about how terrible it was that I hadn't called him. I told her the phone works both ways, and she said yeah that's right, the phone works both ways, which is why I should have, although busy whirlwinding around with everything else and bad at phones anyway, should've made the first call. Like if you knew I was in town you could've called me tho. Ffs. I cannot reach out to every single person all the time, and I came on this trip basically straight from work, for an 8 hour flight, and did my bf's graduation related activities most of the week.
His ex fiancee was the same way, started out a bit of a mess but was still slightly fine on her own, and later on turned into this helpless little thing that needed him to come over and squash spiders or w/e (poor girl later went on to date my npd ex, but thankfully that didn't last long), and I'm seeing a ghastly pattern here. He feeds into these girls' sickness and makes them think they're worse off than they actually are, just so he can control their lives under the guise of looking after them. A bit like munchhausens by proxy in a way. And with this current one he wants to move across the country, which would further isolate her from her family and friends.
He's also got a habit of putting his time and energy into wrecking the lives of people he doesn't like, and that worries me seeing as I'm on that list now. And this is what he's putting his time and energy into instead of working fulltime, because he says even though his employer offered him fulltime work, he wouldn't take it because that income level would put them out of the emergency housing they're at now (where he complains about junkies on the porch and how terrible the area is) and may not get a council flat right away, meaning he would have to use his own money to rent privately like most people do, and that would interfere with his glorious 5 year plan of whisking his fiancee away somewhere far away and buying a house. Must be nice to have the luxury of sticking to your 5 year plan, but don't complain about the junkies in yr front garden when you're actively choosing to live in a place where there are junkies in the front garden.
TL;DR I'm happy he's out of my life because he's fucking toxic, but I'm so worried for his current fiancee, and wondering if maybe his ex, as dumb as she was, was right about him in the end. Now I feel guilty for not believing her too. Ugh.

No. 103486

>>103449
I understand #3 so much anon. Moving back to my hometown after being away at uni, making friends, living life in another country and actually fitting in for once was scary, and now all I do is work and go home every day. It's sad seeing photos of them up hanging out together too. I hope you and I can both get back to where we need to be xx

No. 103512

>>101634
Did you die? My family's away for the week and I'm house sitting. I usually make a quick check to see if there are heavy/sharp objects I can grab at a moments notice in any room. All noises usually turn out to be a neighbour since we have paper thin walls though.

No. 103513

>>103460
omg thank you anon, I actually have some acv lying around.

>>103486
ty anon

No. 103514

>>102208
I've been kind of in your situation before, and it's easy for strangers to say "just leave" than it's done.

I remember if I got angry and tried talking back I'd start to choke up and cry, so I'd just go to my room. I don't think your mum knows how far she's going with it because she's probably going unchecked, and if she can get away with it, why not push it further?

My advice is; if you're staying in, be quiet. Stay in your room and do whatever productive stuff. If your mum comes in to tell you off, just look at her. If she tries to bait you, ask you what's wrong with you just give her quick, true opinions.
"you're being unreasonable"
"you're too controlling"
"I want to see my boyfriend/go out/leave"
"You're telling me at 20 years old to not leave the house for a week"
"I want an apology"

In my experience she'd usually go off on one for a long time, about how I'm ungrateful, about how she's justified about how she's acting because she's my mum etc. Just watch her and don't respond, even with your body language (and I'd usually use this time to hold back my stupid angry tears). Eventually she'll hear her own bullshit and check herself. Your constant feedback of solely what she's doing is wrong will help that along.
Good luck, it's frustrating af [spoiler] and honestly it never gets better, I'm 25 and have to keep her in check with sharp words often

No. 103521

>>103483
>he blocked me BECAUSE i didn't text him right away
not
>he blocked me AND i didn't text him right away
god it feels good to get that whole story off my chest tho.

No. 103523

A guy tried to take advantage of me when i was really drunk. I got him to stop as i was sober enough to push him off me and say no and thankfully that got him to stop but he keeps trying to talk to me… this guy dosent think he did anything wrong and i known its my fault for getting wasted but i just want him to fuck off…I dont understand how this guy could think im interested in him after that. It still grosses me out just thinking about it like how do i stop thinking about it… im actually afraid of this guy dont have the ovaries to tell him to go fuck himself

No. 103542

>>103514
I hate it when people say 'well if you don't like it then leave xD'. As if it's that easy, as if it doesn't involve a lot of money and paperwork.

My feels:
I hate being poor. I just got fired from a mentally and physically exhausting job and I don't miss it (didn't even pay that well fwiw), but now I won't have any money and I need so many things.
I need to buy a few bras, I need a new pair of jeans that fits well and the only suitable pair I can find costs €114. I need 3 T-shirts but most T-shirts out there look too baggy on me. My nan is dying and I need money to go see her, I told my mam I can't afford it and she said I could come later, it's better if I skip the funeral and avoid the stress etc but you could hear she was trying not to cry when she said that and it makes me feel like shit, this woman literally raised me and I didn't even get to say goodbye.

Worst part is I can't tell any of this to anyone because nobody wants to listen and even my bf rolls his eyes whenever I ask him to talk about something.

No. 103543

I hate public transportation SO MUCH.

- Mothers with 3+ badly behaved children screaming and running around. They come in all shapes and sizes: burka'ed Muslims, preppy whites, ghetto Latinos…hate them all. I want to scream STOP REPRODUCING every time I see a herd of them on the subway.

- Severely overweight people who take up at least 1.5 seats and constantly wheeze/look like they're about to pass out

- People who think it's okay to cut and block me off because I'm 5 feet tall and don't look like I can fight back

Ugh I need to get a car.

No. 103544

>>103543
>car
Get a bike. Get swole.

But yeah, what is it with Muslim mums and shitty parenting? I've lived in several countries in the past 6 years and in all of them I've noticed that Muslim mothers have a habit of letting their kids run riot and bother other people. When they start howling in their buggies the mum usually does fuck all and just tries to ignore it. If I ever caused a scene my mammy would look me square in the eye and tell me she'll leave me on the train if I don't stop with the nonsense, though now she'd probably get arrested if she tried that.

No. 103546

>>103542
>even my bf rolls his eyes whenever I ask him to talk about something
You got a real shitty boyfriend, anon. I'm sorry to hear.

No. 103571

omg my cubicle neighbor at work literally talks about her daughter for 8 straight hours a day. She's a nice woman but holy shit I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR KIDS DENTIST APPOINTMENT. she shares EVERYTHING. Good Lord I hope I never become like that.

No. 103586

>>103571
How does she even get any work done?

No. 103589

>>103586
tbqh I have no clue how anyone in my department gets anything done. I feel like a hermit because I'm the only one who gets right to work when I come in and barely talks to colleagues except on breaks/when approached.

No. 103595

>been talking to a person i really wanted to reconnect with, he hasn't replied this whole weekend, i assume he wants to to stop talking
>friends out traveling for the rest of this month, shopping and able to spend thousands of dollars
>be 25 and recently out of neet-dom and depression, been looking for a job for a year now and 0 offers. this morning i was applying to janitor positions,feel intensely sad and jealous looking at ig this morning. i'll literally take anything.

all i want to do is grow up and make an income and be proud of myself. :(

No. 103601

>>103542
i'm sorry anon :( i think you should see your nan. do you have anyone at all you could borrow some money off of? i'm sure if you explain your situation they'd try to help.

No. 103603

>>103595
Are you me anon? Recently coming out of years of depression/NEETdom as well and it feels like nobody wants to talk to me.

No. 103704

File: 1468904378290.gif (78.83 KB, 338x322, tumblr_nuxp9buKMt1qd5mq1o1_400…)

I'm really conflicted about my friends rn. I have known them since middle/high school and for the most part we get along but we have different interests and always do what "the leader" of the group wants to do (which is do fucking nothing but play d&d, go on tumblr to discuss SJW shit or how they are "SO GAY", and maybe watch a movie).
Also I hate driving their asses everywhere and not getting gas money, and hearing how their parents are abusive because they yelled at them for not doing the dishes. The're older than me, don't have their shit together, yet still talk down to me and treat me like I'm stupid because I'm an "airhead" and don't like reading Shakespeare or some shit. They also want us all to move out together but I don't want to have to drive one of their asses to and from work everyday, and have to spend the majority of my paycheck in rent (I live in bumfuck nowhere that's mostly occupied with tourists and vacationers, and rent is, on average, $1600/month for some shitty hole in the wall) when I'm already paying for my school, textbooks, car, meds, etc. Also my parent's don't mind me living at home since I'm not having a fucking emotional breakdown every other day, and will finish community college in a year, then transfer to a four year school to get my bachelor's. idk but I think now that I'm gaining back some self confidence I'm realizing I've only been friend's with them because I felt like no one else would ever hang out with me.
sorry if this is hard to read at times

No. 103709

>>103704
anon, you need to phase these people out of your life. it doesn't matter how long you've been friends with someone, they don't have the right to talk down to you, disrespect you, or use you. I had a friend who I grew up with since literal infancy that I had to cut off as a teenager because they turned into a completely different person in the worst way. it's not going to be easy but it is necessary. you live in a small town, that makes it harder to find new friends, but you seem secure in yourself and have a plan for your future, and those are two excellent traits to have. I think if you reach out to new people you won't have any trouble finding some friends who respect you and see you as their equal, not their lesser.

No. 103714

>>103704
You sound like me at 17. Down to the SJW friends. I got all bent out of shape trying to right wrongs and make things fair again but ultimately you can't change shit and they'll always go with what the leader says. Even if you leave now they'll be like 'lol whatever' and go on their merry way, I 100% guarantee it. You care about pleasing them than they do about pleasing you, so it's best if you just cut ties with them, don't explain shit, or try to get to know people through them and then ditch them.

No. 103724

>>103714
You care more about pleasing them*
I'm slow

No. 103738

>>103704

Oh hell no.

Anon you need to fuck them off and get yourself new friends. Honestly, stay at home and keep to yourself studying/working. Forget them because they sound like users and I've been used before too. Drop them.

No. 103754

>FB friend request turned down
>feels bad man

I'm not even a FB whore who adds everyone…

No. 103764

I hate being 'the girl' in my friendship group. I am friends with all guys and I love them to bits but sometimes my position really gets to me.
When I make an argument no one believes me and they all collectively google it, when I say I like something (game, tv series…) I get interrogated about it so I can prove that I actually watch it.
When we banter they are allowed to make jokes about my gender and nationality (im an immigrant) but when I try to say something back on the same level they get all pissy with me.
I wish that I was more of an equal to them sometimes.

No. 103771

>>103764
Why are you even hanging out with them

No. 103778

>>103764
so get your own group in which you aren't "the girl"

No. 103803

My best friends bf keeps flirting with me and I think she's mad at me for it.
They are both my friends, and I want to continue to be both of their friends and nothing more. I don't know how to tell him to cut it out without losing his friendship and possibly hers along the way.

No. 103804

>>103764
This is less about you being a girl and more about your friends being shitty people who would treat you like that for being a girl.
Get some better ones or pull them up over it, you deserve better.

>>103803
Just tell him that you know he's totally not but sometimes he's flirty with people without noticing it and you would really like him to stop doing it around you because it feels weird to you and could upset his girlfriend.
If he has a problem with it, fine, but it's better than them both having a problem with you. Make sure that when he is flirting with you, you're not nervously laughing it off or anything. Just be cold/ignore it etc, being avoidant can sometimes seem like you're returning it.

No. 103808

>>103764
What >>103804 said. They think you are dumber than them just because you're a girl, they don't respect you. My friend group is all guys and they never needlessly question my taste/knowledge. Your friends should see you as their friend, not "the girl".

No. 103810

It's a minor vent but it's something I'm getting really damn tired of seeing everywhere. Wondering what bridges I'm gonna burn based on this.

>people who gave up sugar and won't shut up about it.

>usually they're also in the "drugs are awesome and i'm so woke" camp or they're swole bros or both
>tfw i thought i had unfriended them all already sos not having to read their bullshit
>tfw i guess not

No. 103841

I am sick of the smug progressives in this city who take every chance to bash poor "redneck" whites for being trashy Trump supporters yet completely ignore the idiotic Sanders supporters who literally destroy property and disturb the peace.

FFS. Is there any major city out there with museums, culture, good food, social libertarianism, etc. that isn't completely full of leftist ivory tower types? Contrary to popular belief, none of those things are the inherent domain of people who vote Democratic. (I'm in the US, obviously)

I'm not the type who insists on surrounding myself only with people who agree with me - if these people were respectful and didn't assume everyone who disagrees with them is evil and stupid, I'd have no problem. The smug non-self awareness here is ridiculous.

No. 103852

File: 1469030603875.jpeg (41.1 KB, 434x700, image.jpeg)

Having a episode rn due to meds withdrawal, where just about anything will send me over the edge. Dealing with waves of sweating profusely, furious outbursts, sleeping habits more fucked then ever and my head & social skills are functioning like -00000,1%.

So now my bf brings over his fucking family who are like the most dense people you'll ever meet, staying at our apartment while he's at work during the days. Not that he normally understands how it is to be utterly depressed, but you'd think he'd put in a little consideration that I may not want to be seen like this.

No. 103853

I want to try wax stripes for down there. I can't standhow fucking fast the hair grows back.To be honest I'm terrified of how much it could hurt. Well…once I get them I'll try.

No. 103859

>>103853
I highly advise you first look for bikini waxing in your area. It won't be that expensive.
The first time you wax your skin can react a bit, spots or whatever, so really you want to get it done right. They will did it quick and in the most painless way, and then that will help you to have some idea of what you should be doing when you try it yourself.

No. 103864

there was drama at my friend group because everybody has a degree and a job but this one girl doesn't and all she has is student loan debt and her not-handsome-not-very-sucessful-boyfriend. She threw a tantrum when i said i got a boyfriend who is a lawyer.
I'm glad she doesn't want to be our friend anymore but i'm kind of sad because her life is never going to be good if she keeps being an envious piece of shit who can't even enjoy her only friends' happiness

No. 103867

>>103841
If it helps, I feel exactly the same way you do. I love museums, libraries, the theater, the opera, even the odd contemporary piece of concert music.

But it's uniformly shitlib

No. 103868

>>103867
Glad to hear I'm not alone. I actually love contemporary art/theater/music, esp the weird conceptual stuff lol.

I'm serious…is there such thing as a politically moderate major metropolitan area with cultural activities like NYC or Chicago or SF? I'm sick of keeping a stiff upper lip every time someone assumes I'm a progressive, geez I'm so closeted.

No. 103869

>>103868
No. It's very difficult. It's weird because these types all assume they're counter-cultural, when in reality they're more or less the dominant culture.

No. 103874

>>103869
I guess it's because big cities are full of small-town rejects who view themselves as part of a broader struggle against the patriarchy/capitalism/oppressors/whatever, hence the fact that people even to the slightest right of them exist means that it's their mission to stomp it out completely.

I'll just have to keep holding my tongue while eating hippie food and attending gallery openings. :(

No. 103875

>>103853
If you do try, at the very LEAST get a pot of hot wax and strips. I tried both, the already waxed strips had me bleeding out of near every pore, and the hot wax made it feel like I was waxing my leg with the waxed strips. I guess it's a bit more tricky because you have to make sure it's not too hot/too thick or it'll burn/not work.

Anyway my vent. Fucking conductor on the train rushed up to me to ask for my ticket on the 3 minute journey before changing lines. Bam, peak times £10 on what would've been a £3 journey if I managed it. To be honest and extra £7 isn't too bad for an unfortunate extra cost, but I'm trying so hard to save up right now, refusing and denying myself so much for it to go to that cow.

No. 103889

I fucking hate the fashion industry.
I just want a plain crew or v-neck dark grey t-shirt and a pair of slim dark grey jeans that doesn't make my thighs look big. I'm not even fat (XXS/XS), just a pear.

You'd think it's easy but it's a living nightmare due to 2 things: 1) I live in Northern Europe so any online recommendations don't work for me, since people usually just say 'Go to Target/Kohl's/some other American store!'
2) I'm poor so I can't buy that much at once online and then return it if it doesn't fit

So I've been running around 3 giant megamalls trying to find what I'm looking for but it's so fucking difficult. EVERYTHING is either super skinny, high waist or both, has ugly embellishments on the pockets or, if it's a shirt, super low cut or a slouchy boatneck that makes me look like a hobo.
How sad is it that I have to pay over €50 if I want a fucking t shirt.

Yesterday I bought a pair of black ankle length jeans that I thought I could bleach because they just did not offer any dark grey ones anywhere, but then I tried it on one of my older black jeans and they turned orange instead. Apparently, the jeans are treated with some chemical that will help them fade. Great! Now I'm stuck with these.
I wanna cry, this is so frustrating.

No. 103891

>>103889
Help to prevent fading*, I meant

No. 103905

File: 1469067683996.jpg (120.35 KB, 400x400, fight-the-liberalarchy.jpg)

>>103874
Don't stay silent. If you don't challenge their views they'll always stay smug and in the right.

No. 103908

>>103905
I'm extremely nonconfrontational by nature and find it hard to call people out in general…even for something as mindnumbingly stupid as claiming Romney would be a slave to the LDS if he were elected president, then, 4 years later, admitting that he was a good governor only after Trump emerges as the presumptive Republican presidential nominee. This is a real convo I had with someone who is a dear friend of mine and I'm genuinely afraid the relationship would be damaged if I challenged them, even in a respectful way.

It's like, come on, just admit you hate conservatives/Republicans/libertarians/everyone who isn't a textbook progressive. Don't pretend that your criticisms are at all rational when they're clearly full of fallacies and exceptions made for your own side.

/rant

No. 104043

Got a panic attack after 9 months again, every time I think I'm cured it comes back. I can't take this anymore.

No. 104044

>>104043
How bad is your anxiety in general? Had it been getting better?

No. 104050

File: 1469134880307.jpg (118.31 KB, 544x529, 495768495645.jpg)

My sister is making me go on a trip with her to some kind of health and well-being seminar for women next year and I'm kind of upset about it. It's going to be very expensive but according to her I never do anything for myself and need to get out and take control of my life.

Whenever I actually do things for myself that I enjoy she just doesn't care or thinks it's weird. If I were to spend the amount she blows on these trips on something like a comic convention she'd think I was psychotic. When we were ordering the tickets I started crying and couldn't say anything more than "ok" "mmmhmm" and on the other side all I could hear was her skipping around yelling "YAAAAAAAAAY WE'RE GOING TO CALIFORNIA :DDDDDDDDDDDDD"

$600 fucking dollars for yoga, wine and pyramid scheme nutrition company shills.

Maybe being a friendless introvert for so long is making me too pessimistic but I feel like I'm just going to get it over with and hope she never asks me to do something like this with her again.

No. 104051

File: 1469135084338.gif (1.55 MB, 400x286, 1453869699515.gif)

Someone just stole my dad's two guns while he was parked in my grandma's driveway. Absolutely nothing else was even looked through much less taken, just the middle compartment. The was a gps, cop detector, wallet, car keys, even ammo. All they took was one gun on the top of it and one gun underneath a bunch of stuff they would've had to dig for that was right next to the ammo. It's definitely either a criminal and/or illegal or someone planning to commit a very serious crime. Fuck Houston tbh. One of the highest rates of human trafficking here too and it's directly linked to the cartel. But thank god we have "diversity" and open borders.

No. 104056

>>104044

Was pretty bad before now it's okay, don't get them anymore but felt like I was having a heart attack this time and it kinda snow balled. I'm on efexor xr for 9 months now.

No. 104066

File: 1469146383480.gif (2.89 KB, 60x40, tumblr_inline_nxgr7j6TNq1r7qxh…)

>>103852
Stay strong anon! Is there a reason you've stopped taking meds? Can/do you want to get back on them? I know what you're feeling right now, you'll get through this. Hopefully his family will leave soon. Also I would write down your feelings, double check everything, and talk to your bf about them, seeing as just talking as you go could result in an outburst.

No. 104067

For the last few years, I've had random people - complete strangers - come up to me and ask me if I'm this girl in my town named Mercedes. Like, "hey, are you mercedes [last name]?" and "aren't you mercedes?" - and I have no idea why.

I had one class with her and she looks nothing like me. I'm at least a foot and a half taller, I have short black hair and she has long greyish blond hair, I have a big chest and she doesn't, I wear glasses and she doesn't, and we have completely diffrent styles.

I'm actually starting to become paranoid because of it. Like, is my name actually Mercedes? Is the whole town just trying to fuck with me? It happens every few weeks like clockwork and it's always total strangers that ask me. What the hell.

No. 104068

I'm not angry or anything, just scared lol.
So I work at a jewelry store. Already sort of a high stress environment, but I'm back of house doing all the computer/office shit, so I miss a lot of what goes on in front. And yesterday we had some really sketchy dudes come in. And today another really sketchy guy, so later we had the cops in.
It's not a bad area really. Mostly hispanics and old people, but you drive a mile down the road in any direction and it gets kind of ghetto (2 miles east really ghetto).
So yeah. Just hoping nothing bad goes down at work.

No. 104069

>>104067
I go to a community college that's like 90% black/hispanic, and the first semester I was there, I would get mistaken for some chick named Amanda upwards of 5 times a week.

Eventually, someone pointed her out to me in the library, and literally the only thing we had in common looks-wise is we're both tall, skinny white chicks. We didn't even have the same hair color or face shape.

And they say reverse racism isn't real, lmao.

No. 104070

>>104069
How is that racism
>inb4 SJW
for the record, people not being able to tell others apart is not racism by any means, asian or white
dumb yanks

No. 104071

>>104067
what matters most is whether your faces look similar

No. 104072

>>104068
I'm getting flashbacks to the shitty non-profit I used to work at. (Never again.) The neighborhood wasn't nice by any means, but it was safe enough during the day as long as you weren't showing off your bling. A couple blocks in any direction, though, and you were in trouble.

No. 104075

>Meet guy at bar
>Guy likes me, I like him back.
>We chat and flirt all night
>Guy has to go and leaves fast.
>Never asked for my number or anything
>Well, it was fun.

Months later

>New semester

>Get changed to another class because school fucked up
>Guy is there
>HOLYSHITHOW?
>Chat and flirt all semester
>Guy helps me in everything, we talk a lot, he is such a gentleman.
>Being so sure of a new bf I decided to confess.
>"Hey, Guy, I like you"
>"Uh, sorry not ready for a relationship rn"

I was so smitten by this man, didn't wanted to acknowledge he is still clinging to his ex. I actually feel pretty stupid since we don't talk anymore. I didn't only got rejected but lost the possibility of a cool friendship. IDK, I feel so played and heartbroken.
Also, it was a mother fucking cute story. What the fuck, guy?

No. 104079

I saw a pic of the guy I like at dinner with his gf today. Ugh, it's the worst. ):

I feel like I should block him from social media but it's so hard to find guys I like.

No. 104080

>>104070
I think anon was joking about the "y'all look alike" effect rather than making a serious argument about racism. Lighten up.

>>104071
Sometimes it just takes one shared characteristic.

No. 104082

>>104079
My crush changed his FB profile pic to one of him and his new gf. Shit ruined my Friday night. To be perfectly honest, I hope he and this fat Chinese girl have the worst break-up in the history of mankind. Ugh and I'm visiting the city they live in next month.

So I know exactly how you feel anon.

No. 104083

>>104069
Reverse racism isn't real. It's just called racism.
What you're describing is called the cross race effect.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cross-race_effect

No. 104084

>>104072
Aaaaaaand we are a business that specializes in bling (sort of… our target demographic really is old people so we carry stuff that old people like) in an area that used to be a rich people suburb back 50 years ago when the shop was established and is now… not a rich people suburb by any means. Which is ok. People still buy stuff. But we've got the cops in every couple months or so, and the area is declining further. We've got a buzzer to let people in, and we've got panic buttons all over, but it's still scary af sometimes.
Another gal at work got a weird phone call from a trucking company the other day asking if they could track her, and sketchy dude of today was coincidentally a trucker from the same area, blindly snapping photos of the diamond case, sort of shooting photos from the hip, which is weird, so that's why the cops got called this time.

No. 104085

>>104079
>>104082

>ugh I hate it when people I have a crush on are genuinely happy!

No. 104091

>>104085
lol ikr, salty bitches

No. 104095

>>104085

I met him when he was visiting town with his friend, and we ended up spending a ton of time with each other. He even told me I had everything he wanted in a girlfriend. I think we would be pretty good for each other, if it wasn't for the fact that he wasn't single.

Apparently all of his friends hate his gf and think she's a bitch so whatever. If he ever breaks up I know who I'll be chatting up.

I'm glad that he's happy. But lmao don't tell me you've never had a crush on a guy who didn't like you back.

No. 104121

>>104095
>Apparently all of his friends hate his gf and think she's a bitch

I swear I've seen this posted so much on lolcow. It always gets thrown in when talking about the girlfriend

No. 104126

>>104069
It's the same for me, but I'm black and white people always confuse me with other black girls.

No. 104132

I have a huge disdain for people (usually it's women) who slack off in their career/personal life because their spouse makes enough money for them to do so.

I know a woman who is a "playwright" (bullshit) and lives in a nice brownstone because her husband is a banker. Another acquaintance with an expensive useless degree sits on her ass all day posting social justice crap on the Internet because her cuck husband makes six figures as an engineer. They're also the worst shitlibs on earth but that's another story. I could go on and on, it's like bitch pull your weight.

No. 104134

I don't understand why it's so hard for me to make friends, and I'm not even talking about irl but on social media and such. I've been distancing myself from my current "friends" because they've all treated me like shit and I don't want to deal with that anymore. While doing that I've tried to talk to new people but it never seems to work out (we're too different, they reveal that they're a pansexual trans fictionkin or they just don't talk to me again)

It feels like my only choice is to learn how to be on my own.

No. 104136

>>104134
Hey anon, I'll be your friend. At the very least, I'm not a tumblrina and I know how it feels when you don't really click with anyone.

No. 104144

>>104121
idk my best friend was dating his best friend and this is what she said. So yeah apparently

No. 104148

>>104132
Maybe they're pulling their weight through homemaking or great sex and emotional support?

No. 104149

>>104132
You just described my dream life tbh. I want to be a stay at home mom so fucking bad. I hate my spirit crushing job.

No. 104150

>>104148
Proper homemaking/household management is hard work, esp with children. That's def pulling your weight.

The two women I vented about are just leeches. One of them has a codependent relationship with her husband and from what I've heard from him when he was drunk is that they don't even have sex anymore. So no proper emotional support … or really anything else there.

No. 104203

I'm so fucking sick of my ultra-NEET aspie ex. I want to end all communication with him, but i live in a small town and half of my friends are also friends with him, so i would have to give up RP'ing, warhammer40k and hanging out with like 10 other people (some who are my best friends) to completely get rid of him.
He would probably get himself killed if i stopped being friends/hanging out with him. I just want to be able to not give a fuck about that, and stop carrying his entire fate on my shoulders (which i literally do). He's ruining my life. But it will be all my fault if he gets killed, and i know that i could have 100% prevented it. He's the biggest leech i've ever met, and constantly behaves like an obstinate child/teenager, and he's 34 fucking years old.
I'm starting to think he legitimately is completely egotistical and greedy, through and through, and has nothing good in him whatsoever.

No. 104204

I've figured out that I'm really attracted to narcissistic douchebags and I don't know what to do about it.

No. 104206

>>104132
I don't know how they can live with themselves tbh, I'd feel like a useless housepet

No. 104213

>>104204
Same, anon. I grew up with narcs and dated quite a few. It's sad because I already know how it's gonna turn out.. But I like it anyway. I love the control and intensity they exhibit. I'm also flattered when they mirror me.

No. 104215

>>104206
Different anon. I would love to be a stay at home wife. All the time in the world to work on my hobbies with the actual means to do it? It sounds like heaven. I understand that some people like you are driven to work, but I'd be content with a life of leisure.

No. 104218

>>104213
> I'm also flattered when they mirror me.
That doesn't feel phony to you? When I realized someone I knew was trying to do that to me I felt ill like an internal full body cringe.

No. 104228

File: 1469304660205.jpg (142.6 KB, 545x770, fish.jpg)

so i was assigned female at birth but i have some serious issues. i've always been okay with my breasts but i have horrible, horrible dysphoria involving my vagina. it's uncomfortable and i've always wished i could have a penis, i wish for a surgery to fix it every day. i feel like such a failure.
i've been diagnosed with mental disorders involving my personality/perception of the world which makes my identity even harder to figure out. tumblr has made me feel like an absolute joke with their "uwu gender roles are bs uwuwuwuw" shit. mental illness and being trans isn't a joke. i want to use the label bigender to possibly describe the physical dysphoria i have, but tumblr fucked me over with that too. i'm a special snowflake because of my various disabilities. i'm seen as a joke and i really wish other people with uncommon dysphoria(wanting no genitals/sex characteristics, wanting both characteristics, etc) could be taken seriously.

honestly i'm not even sure how seriously i'm going to be taken on here.

No. 104229

>>104228
Cute, but you have to be 18 to post here.

No. 104230

File: 1469306397574.jpg (29.1 KB, 400x363, 1360253634001.jpg)

>>104228
I'm so sorry, anon. I absolutely take this seriously, and it really is fucked up how tumblr "transtrenders" are taking attention away from people like you who are legitimately suffering from gender dysphoria. I don't understand what you're going through personally, but you have my sympathy, and I believe you.

Sounds like you've already been given some diagnoses, so I assume you've already seen a psychiatrist. Have you spoken with one, specifically, about your dysphoria with your vagina? I know there are a number of counselors on psychology today that specialize in gender issues. You just have to type in your zip code, and there should be a filter on the sidebar for "transgender."

You also might find some of the videos by the user Yorick on youtube comforting.

I wish you the best of luck <3

No. 104231

>>104228
so you don't mind being seen as female, but you want to have the sexual characteristics of a male. It has nothing to do with "gender roles". Am I getting that right?

No. 104233

>>104228
I have the same thing with my breasts anon. I don't feel like they're part of me at all and they gross me out. It's a shit situation. My vagina I don't mind that much but my tits cause me severe dysphoria. I always feel much more comfortable while wearing a binder. I don't know if it's a body thing or a gender thing though.

No. 104237

>>104229
edgy
>>104230
thanks anon. as for the diagnosis, i'm still nervous about bringing it up but i was very close to touching ground with it with a therapist i had been seeing, unfortunately visits were expensive and i had to call it quits. once i land a secure job i'm going to save up for a visit to a psychologist that specializes in my kind of issue.
>>104231
my perception of myself varies. it doesn't have anything to do with ~gender roles uwu~ but i don't really like being seen as female either. i won't sperg out about it when people refer to me as a woman, because i understand that people don't really understand my situation and it's likely they'd make fun of it if i even tried to explain it. so i guess in a way you're right
>>104233
if you have to wear a binder normally to feel comfortable but don't mind being seen as a woman, then it's a body thing. if you don't want to be seen as a woman, then it's probably a gender thing. i'm not a professional but if it's causing you discomfort i'd recommend researching it and possibly getting an appointment with a therapist if possible?

No. 104322

The person I love likes another person that doesn't give a shit about her, it pisses me off like crazy and I literally can't do shit about it.

No. 104325

I'm prob gonna get called a weeaboo but w/e.

I hate that Western music is so sex-oriented and 'dark'/'gritty'. I don't even like pop, much less kpop, but I just wanna listen to something uplifting that gets me up and dancing without referencing arse shaking and sex and honestly kpop is really good for that. Most indie stuff tends to be slower or overly forced cutesy ukulele vomit.

I guess I'm kind of sick of people singing about how bad life is in general, but there's only so many times you can listen to the Archies without going nuts. I want something new that I can understand for a change.

No. 104326

>>104325

>I hate that Western music is so sex-oriented and 'dark'/'gritty'. I don't even like pop, much less kpop, but I just wanna listen to something uplifting that gets me up and dancing without referencing arse shaking and sex and honestly kpop is really good for that. Most indie stuff tends to be slower or overly forced cutesy ukulele vomit.


You probably need to listen to more Western music than what's played on your radio.

No. 104329

>>104326
Recommend me something then. Because no matter how deep I dig I'm still not impressed.

No. 104533

>>104329
Not that anon, but recently I was introduced to Janelle Monáe's The ArchAndroid and I've been really impressed with it. The songs span genres but still remain part of a cohesive whole. Not sure it's what you're looking for but it's good.

No. 104550

>>104325
I don't necessarily agree that it's all sex or 'dark' but I do find western music kind of pretentious in comparison to kpop and jpop. Not necessarily pretentious as in trying to be intellectual, more like trying to be cool. Normies have their cool party music, hipsters have their cool indie music, metalheads have their cool hardcore music, etc. Dorky music just doesn't fly in any subculture in the west but kpop and jpop have plenty of cutesy, cheesy, bubble gum pop girl groups/boybands that aren't cool in any language.

Also, I think anime OSTs promote a lot of variety in sound/genre. The OP and ED have to fit the show first of all, so it encourages bands to make music to suit certain themes, if that makes sense? It seems like you get a lot of stuff that sounds different to mainstream Japanese music because it doesn't necessarily have to be radio friendly, and you sometimes get talented soundtrack composers involved too. Like for example, Yuki Kajiura and Kalafina are amazing but I can't imagine music like theirs ever being on western radio because it's too 'cinematic' sounding.

I'm sure there's lesser known western stuff that compares but I spent a lot of time jumping from genre to genre before I got into asian pop and it's true for a lot of subcultures.

No. 104553

I gave myself a cold wax for the first time today. Man am I disappointed. I tought I'd be better at it and that with a few tries all of the hair would get off from one spot. Nope. I only managed to do the mound and there's still quiet a bit of hair there. Tried to go between the legs and almost no hair came off, no matter what direction I pulled. Guess I did it a bit too harsh because I've got pretty bad bruises now. Or my skin might just be that sensitive.

Trial and error, I guess.
And no, there are no professionals in my area where I could get it done.

No. 104554

>>104550
You sound like a delusional underage weeb who has no idea how idea music actually works in Asia and who barely knows anything about music.

Also I seriously doubt Kalafina is played on Japanese music stations.

I actually listen to a lot of J-pop (My favorite is Onitsuka Chihiro) but you seriously have the same attitude I did when I was 12. It's very cringe inducing. Since then I've expanded my range of music a lot (I listened to a lot of hip hop for a while) and sex in music doesn't bother me anymore lmao.

No. 104561

>>104554
>Also I seriously doubt Kalafina is played on Japanese music stations.
I wasn't saying they are, but they're at least on music shows on TV so I just specified the west.

But anyway, I think you're overreacting since it's not like I'm saying there's more musical talent in jpop or anything. It's a fair observation that boybands and girl groups are often too cheesy for western audiences, or that differently structured music promotions will lead to different types of music being released.

No. 104564

>>104554
Okay, good for you? You want a cookie or something? Just because it doesn't bother YOU doesn't mean everyone else wants to listen to it. It doesn't bother me either but it's annoying and it's not what I want to listen to. I didn't ask you what you like because I couldn't care less, I asked for happy-go-lucky 'the world is beautiful' type music. Because I can't find any.

No. 104591

I just got my payslip, and half my salary is missing. I'm just so tired of my workplace constantly fucking something up, forgetting something, not telling me how things work, giving too little information etc etc… It's such a fucking mess, i get shit pay anyway, why can't they just run it smoothly? Every single month i have to chase down someone because i get paid too little or becuase they muddle things up by dividing the pay really weirdly because of some other fuck up the month before…
I've tried calling my boss the entire day, no answer. I just broke down crying like a child, i'm just so fucking tired of it.

No. 104595

>>104591
Is there some board of labor/better business type department in your area you can talk to about this?

No. 104625

>>104325
Like whatever you want to like. Why is it such a problem that you only want to listen to the Archies and kpop? Ever tried the Beach Boys? Don't listen to modern Western music ever again in your life if it's not your thing. Most cars have CD players and/or aux outlets so you never have to turn the radio on.

No. 104669

>>104325
I listen to mainly Western music (and the Japanese music I do listen to is mostly hip hop and jazz) but I see where you're coming from. Thinking of cutesy fun songs like Call Me Maybe, people in the West liked to hate on it but it was really popular nonetheless. Artists like Sia and Adele usually get more praise and although I like their music I agree that they aren't particularly uplifting. Even though "Send My Love To Your New Lover" is pretty upbeat for an Adele song, it's still not "dance-y", ya know.

I listen to a lot of music so I'll try and dig up some reccs anon.

No. 104695

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLvwASfiI3aNc7sRDwfknVJuBdI4dxtr8P

Here are a few. (I don't think most of them touch on the cheesy/carefree vibe though tbh)

No. 104727

>>104669
>Artists like Sia and Adele usually get more praise
That's exactly what I meant, anon, thank you.

It's not like I think there's no cutesy/uplifting music at all (though I can see how it can sound that way when you're ranting), it's just that they're rare compared to the slit-my-rists-n-cri lyrics that get the most airtime.

Here's some good stuff I like (also, anon who mentioned Janelle Monae, she's adorable and I really want to like her music but for some reason I'm finding it really difficult) if anyone else is interested:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQtyCNa00tc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elyk9MBY72U
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tD4HCZe-tew
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CySRgtT5kVI

No. 104743

Why do people think I'm joking when I tell them I'm a functioning alcoholic? I'm being quite literal about it. Guys I tell this to always say, "Haha me too!" No shithead, I don't mean having a few beers everyday or a night of binge-drinking. Drinking is literally on my mind all the time. I haven't drank at work but the first thing I do when I get home is pour myself a drink and then I don't stop. When I don't work I drink all day long until I pass out. I tell them this as a warning and yet they want to still try and date me. Then they act shocked when they see the actual amount I drink. I'm tired of it, I should just give up on dating. And I have no intention on stopping.

No. 104749

>>104743
You sound like you're trying to brag about it…..

No. 104760

>>104564
lmao ok. Your post just sounded like, "Wah, western music is for PREPS who are obsessed with sex and being pretentious! All hail glorious EPIC nipland." It's just funny because it reminded me of the immature attitude I had when I was a preteen. Go back and listen to AKB48. You seriously sound kind of emotionally stunted tho tbh.

No. 104764

>>104749
Nah nigger, I'm just sick of guys trying to say they're OK with my drinking and then being shocked. I try to be transparent about it but they don't take what I say seriously.

No. 104769

My cat ran away and if we find her she's probably going to be pregnant. I was a dumbass and didn't get her spayed soon enough. I know a pregnant cat can be spayed and basically have her babies aborted but for some reason my mom thinks that just getting rid of my cat if she turns up is the right option, which is bullshit.

No. 104770

>>104727
Janelle Monáe-anon here. Try her album Electric Lady; here's the title track: https://youtu.be/LPFgBCUBMYk

The ArchAndroid was a bit too much for me on my first listen, but it's now mindblowingly good for me. I understand it's not to everyone's tastes, though.

I liked the first two tracks you linked to. They remind me of 1960s music; you should check out stuff from back then if you haven't already.

No. 104774

>>104760
And you sound butthurt that nobody's giving you asspats for listening to ~grown up,mature music~.

No. 104775

>>104774
When did I say that the music I listened to was mature? It's pretty average tbh. Stop being so defensive weeb.

No. 104776

>>104764
Why don't you try doing something about limiting your dependency on alcohol then?

No. 104795

>>104775
I don't know, you're the only person here judging others by their taste in music. Figures you'd be /mu/ cancer desperately trying to prove how cool you are to strangers on the Internet.

No. 104799

File: 1469535787396.jpg (58.51 KB, 483x604, tumblr_m00x3b6QkI1r41xyqo3_500…)

Someone in my skype group is being really thirsty for me and I don't know if I want to enable their behavior or not considering I'm trying to go after another guy IRL. Feels weird actually being lusted after. What do?

No. 104858

My job is so fucking boring. I'm on the internet for hours on end, and I just feel so useless.

No. 104860

>>104066
Hey anon, sorry it took a while to respond.

Well the intense anxiety and paranoia is long gone. It's this constant apathy that bothered me for a while, but i guess that's what antidepressants do to ya. I feel that I'll be coolio without them for now, gonna fill my days with doing shit like picking up my hobbies, get routines in check etc.

Thank you for your words man. Actually started writing shit down even tho it feels awkward haha, but surely will help since my head is as intact as a bag of dogshit

No. 104863

I'm really upset today, but I have to act like I'm okay cause I know it isn't worth it to get upset outloud about when I already said something about it.
My BF and me have been apartment shopping for months and month. Nothing seems good enough for him. We finally found a place was reasonably priced so we can save and not live paycheck to paycheck. We put down the deposit on it and we move in on September first (it's being remodeled) we have been there twice now and I'm excited, I see ourselves in it. He now doesn't seem thrilled, not excited, more silent and monotone then normal. Just hurts cause I know it's scary! I know this is an huge step for us, but I wish I wasn't getting the silent treatment… Like if he didn't want this then I wish he said something. He claims is not because he doesn't want to do this, but he is scared… But how scared he must be that he is treating me like this, not excited. I don't know I just had to get this out there cause now I'm getting scared and feel I forced it even with him saying I didn't. Sometimes he lacks seeing the beauty in things and the adventure in it..

No. 104875

>>104799
Tell him that it's making you uncomfortable and if he doesn't listen tell him to fuck off or something. If he persists ignore him. Block his contact if you need to and if he's in your group either ignore him or let someone in the group know what's going on so they can get after him. Maybe he'll get the boot by then or get the message that he should cut it out.

Don't enable him. Just put your foot down.

No. 104894

Once upon a time there were some nearly baseless rumours at my former workplace that I wanted to sleep with another coworker. I asked one culprit to stop saying those kinds of things about me and they respectfully did and the other eventually left.
I had to quit last month and I thought that the rumours would be gone with me, but apparently some other team members are keeping it alive and well… And adding more boys to the "story" too.
It kind of hurts because these guys were my buddies and I'm upset that they would assume things like that behind my back. I wanted everyone to remember me for my hard work and friendships, not as some thirsty slut.

No. 104941

All of the terror attacks in Europe and other related incidents have me feeling so paranoid around middle eastern men.

On my bus home yesterday one guy was sitting in front of me and he kept making erratic hand movements and reaching for his bag and he turned around to stare at me a number of times.

This made me feel so paranoid and I hate feeling like that towards an innocent person.

No. 104943

>>104941
That's fucked up. The real victims of those attacks are Muslims. What drove those people to commit those attacks are colonialism and a lack of state benefits anyway dude. Haven't you even read any of Dr. Steinberg's stuff about these attacks on Salon and HuffPo?

No. 104946

>>104943
Pls be troll

No. 104963

>>104946
Literally the narrative the Graun, BBC et al are pushing.

That of the non-existent "backlash" against Muslims.

No. 104964

File: 1469631362155.gif (2.57 MB, 264x240, 1463033280945.gif)

>mfw I get a mail that tells me I'm not getting a job I really wanted for the 20th time this month
>I'm poor and I want to save up for college and my hobbies
>getting acne all over my body so I cant wear shorts and tshirts anymore
>friends aren't in my city or country anymore because they're with their family at home for the summer
>log on fb for the first time in the month, a friend posted a screenshot of our private conversation on line on her public fb (it was about pkmn go so nothing suspicious or embarrassing but still, wtf)

I'm feeling like shit these days but today is the worst. I've got nobody to talk to irl now, it sucks, I'm lonely so I'm trying to kill time with vidya but it's not working anymore.

No. 104966

>>104941
Don't feel bad. I am Muslim and I'm also paranoid and distrustful of them. And other Muslims that are not family. You just can't trust anyone anymore.

No. 104968

>>104966
Actually homogeneous white communities in North America and Western Europe are generally extremely peaceful and have high levels of trust.

Don't compare us to you. Thanks.

No. 104969

>going to Spain with some friends for a week
>haven't even set off yet
>friends have already had heated arguments over the packing
>one is mad because we brought more than 2 changes of clothes and therefore we must be dirty if we have to change that much
>another is mad because she bought the wrong travel adapter and is aggressively demanding that we share all adapters even though she was the one who specified people have to be responsible for their own necessities
>all of them are mad that I packed a book because they said it's anti-social
>we don't have seperate rooms so I can't get away if we all continue to clash

No. 104970

>>104969
Just cancel the trip.

No. 104971

>>104858
Same here. But we still get a paycheck.
At least we can feel superior to unemployed and homeless people.

No. 105012

>>104971
At this point I'd be fine just getting pregnant and being a SAHM. My company is great, we get lots of benefits (though no maternity leave for me due to type of employment) but I have no freaking clue what the other people in the same position as me are doing all day. Apparently the woman who did my job before me even did overtime!! I have no idea how she managed that.

No. 105024

File: 1469664612361.png (97.46 KB, 467x496, 1469223495080.png)

>gather courage to talk to the girl I like face to face
>Can't sleep because thinking about what to do tomorrow
>End up sending her a message about it

I fucked up haven't I? We've been getting along really well and she has her sides split everytime I make a joke. She still hasn't replied fuck I'm nervous.

No. 105026

I went on exchange last year and I'm still so salty.
All the girls there had pretty button noses and looked feminine, and I met a bunch of Japanese exchange students who were practically salivating over their host country and the girls. They were seriously obsessed with their design shops and wouldn't shut up about how the girls there were so pretty and smart and had perfect accents in Japanese because of their language.

Yes I'm salty and jealous. Some people get everything in life and then blame the rest of us for not licking their asses like the rest of them.

No. 105027

Boyfriend and I have been having troubles for a long time. Mainly just that things have been boring, dull, there's no excitement anymore. He's been depressed because he hates his job, gained weight, lost friends and doesn't really make an effort to involve himself in hobbies or anything. I've tried to help him so much to get out of the vicious circle he's in. He is really the nicest and calmest and loveliest guy in the world.

The other night he flipped his shit at me and said he's not attracted to me cause I'm fat, (I'm average weight) disgusting, I eat too much and I'm too childish and lazy.
We broke up yesterday, mutually. A mature breakup, we talked about it and that it was probably best for both of us to go our separate ways, and I mentioned how hurt I was by the things he said the other day.
He didn't say sorry. He said "Okay".

Now I'm alone, things are awkward with our mutual friends and we still have to live together. I was horrible at work today and I'm embarrassed and scared because I'm depressed. I'm broke as fuck and I'm just fucking sick of this.

No. 105028

File: 1469665572764.jpg (7.91 KB, 302x225, 1468956059575.jpg)

>>105024

She read the messages 30 mins ago and no answer, fuck.

No. 105029

>>105027
If anything it sounds a lot like he was projecting, throwing the shit he doesn't like about himself at you. Still hurts though. Sorry you're having a shitty time anon, i know it's cliché but time will fix this! Stay cute & cool

No. 105030

>>105028
Maybe she's just as shy as you! Stay cool, don't message her again and wait. What tone would you say your text was in?

No. 105031

>>105024
>>105028
Yes, you are a dumbass. She's probably just taken aback about it though. Three likely scenarios:

1) She shares your feelings and will respond in kind.

2) She's disgusted by the thought and will be super uncomfortable around you.

3) She's just surprised and doesn't know how to respond.

Nothing we can say to make you feel any calmer about it unfortunately. Get some booze, get some sleep, and just face it tomorrow.

No. 105032

Recently I have felt like I am not a real person. I don't even know where to begin to describe this feeling. I am living my life feeling as if I am a spectator in the body of another person. I don't recognise myself anymore when I meet different people and the only time I really feel like "me" is when I'm alone in my room. The minute I face any person I feel like I take a mental step-back and go into auto pilot.

No. 105033

File: 1469666870085.jpg (48.73 KB, 541x960, 1469656319967.jpg)

>>105029

Calm and confident I think. I'm not sending any, about to go to sleep now. She's pretty bubbly and outgoing, never thought of her as shy.

>>105031

Yeah probably, fuck I just had to do this aren't I. Fuck me.

No. 105062

>>105032
Depersonalization/derealization disorder, anon. Do you smoke weed? That seems to be a common trigger for a good bit of people.

No. 105063

>>105033

Welp she read the messages and didn't replied, also haven't come to work today. Guess I'm good as rejected eh? Have any of you did something like this or am I misreading the situation.

No. 105067

>>105063
Her not being into you seems rather likely. Otherwise she'd have said something. Looks like she's trying to make it go away.

No. 105071

>>105067

Yeah that's the way it is probably. Anyways I'm used to it, guess being funny and having your life together/having things you are passionate about can only take you so far when you're an ugly fuck like me.

No. 105076

>>105071
Obviously we have no idea what you look like but you can always try to improve your looks. If you're fat lose some weight, try to dress better, groom your hair and/or facial hair as well. Unless you've seriously lost the genetic lottery and can't improve without plastic surgery there's always a way. Now buck up anon-kun, anymore whining and you'll end up getting labeled as a robot.

No. 105079

>>105076

I have to drop like 30 kg and I'm golden, lost 30 this year 30 more to go.

No. 105083

So I thought I was really close with one of my friends. We weren't always on good terms but we'd gotten into the habit over the last year of talking once every one or two weeks. Recently we'd spent quite a bit of time hanging out with each other and we even spent a few nights cuddling together and sleeping in the same bed. I felt like I could tell them about anything. Sometimes they wouldn't pick up my calls for a couple of weeks time but they'd always come around. Apparently they were really stressed about talking with me even idgaf what was going on as long as they replied. I'm REALLY glad I didn't listen to anyone's advice of "They're ghosting, stop talking to them".

However, since the last time I've seen them, they've barely responded to my messages at all. They'd insisted they were fine with still talking with me but it really doesn't seem like it. Idk. I don't know if now is the time to give up or if something is fundamentally changed. Or they think I'm too clingy or something.

The thing is they're starting a new degree in a country they've never been to with no friends. So idk if they are more stressed than usual or something.

It's just really upsetting. Someone you were really close to suddenly acting like they don't want anything to do with your or acting like they're too good for you. Whatever, I just need to vent.

No. 105088

>>105083
Are they multiple personalities within the same body? Because that could complicate things.

No. 105092

>>105063

God I hate people who do this, even over the phone this shit takes courage. At least have the decency to reply with simple yes or no.

No. 105122

>>105088
Nah, they're definitely not if you're being serious. I don't believe in that multiple personality crap anyways.

I was drunk last night and I was exaggerating when I said they didn't want to do anything with me. We've chatted a little bit over the last couple of weeks since we've seen each other. It's just that it hasn't been much as I'd like, and we haven't had a proper call in a while which would be helpful.

idk what to do. Like before my birthday in June, I was pretty upset about something but they wouldn't pick up the phone for like two weeks straight. Then I went off the grid to go camping, and the first call I made afterwards, they picked up. Weird. Then we hung out for quite a bit after that. So hopefully they'll come around and they won't be too stressed.

Haha one detail I conveniently forgot to mention is that this person is my ex. lmao

No. 105128

>>105122
why is it so hard for you to refer to this person as him or her

No. 105136

>>105128
+1, how the fuck are we supposed to analyze social interactions without knowing if it's a guy or a girl? Tumblr gender identity bullshit is irrelevant.

No. 105142

>>104095
lolcow is 18+

No. 105143

>>104095
>He even told me I had everything he wanted in a girlfriend.

Do better anon. If it were true you'd be his gf.

No. 105144

>>105143
idk, I guess he definitely a pussy. But who has the heart to say, "Hey, I met a girl at a music festival, and we did a ton of drugs and fell in love? Oh yeah we cheated too and I told her a bunch of stuff I never told you?"

Also the guys I like are really rare and hard to find.

>>105136
Honestly I never wanted anyone to analyze? I just wanted to vent. Like I've said I don't think anyone's advice is helpful here. If I asked for anyone else's advice, they would have told me "He's totally ghosting on you, you need to let it go and don't bother." At least up until the last time we saw each other that would not have been the right advice.

So yeah it's a guy. Actually he's trying to be a tranny lmao. Yeah I get it, he's mentally ill. I've told him, and I've let him know that I really don't approve.

As for why I bother, I like most everything about him except for the tranny thing and the slow to respond/moody thing. Also I don't have a ton of people in my life to talk to, and it's nice that I have someone I've known for a long time who will listen to me and not really care/judge. Annnnd the cuddling.

Life would be more convenient if I was down to hook up with random guys all the time and was ok with cuddling with them. But I only hook up while drunk, and then I feel so uncomfortable when I sober up. The last guy I hooked up with, I tried to get him to leave by saying I couldn't fall asleep with someone else in bed with me. Big lie.

No. 105170

File: 1469809529831.jpeg (219.5 KB, 1274x1260, image.jpeg)

I'm feeling more and more down because I never have any money, and I want more than anything to be independent. I'm only 18 with no worthwhile qualifications, so I've been applying to every low level job there is, but no luck.
Everyone my age I ask about how they got their job is that they knew someone there and got in without even having to hand in a resume.
I've been rejected and not replied to so many times, then I have people left and right asking me why I haven't got a job. When I tell them the truth they say that I have to hit the pavement and apply in person instead of online, but don't seem to realise that shops will literally knock you back and tell you to apply online, which also makes you look like a dickhole.

I'm so sad that my generation is the least likely to ever truly own any sort of house, even with hard work. It doesn't help having old people rant on about how lazy we are and we just don't work had enough to buy a house. Fine: give me a job that will let me end up with 300k+ after paying for all necessities, then I'll believe you.

I just feel like such a burden.

No. 105175

File: 1469813758902.jpg (60.31 KB, 400x341, animals-fly-maggots-sewage-tur…)

>>105170
>I'm so sad that my generation is the least likely to ever truly own any sort of house
>tfw gonna inherit a large farm and three (count em) flats
>…in a small town in some Eastern European shithole

No. 105193

> tfw the student finance people give you the bare minimum amount of maintenance loan and it barely covers 2/3 of your rent

I have absolutely no problem with getting a part time job when I go to uni in september, I'm just a bit miffed since I originally thought that the amount was per semester and not per year so it's a bit surprising to realise you're going to be dealing with a single fibre of a shoestring budget. Also I only have my week of compulsory Year 10 work experience from 3 years ago so applying for a job will be really fun. /s

The thing I'm probably most annoyed about is if it takes ages for me to successfully get a job I can't claim JSA in the meantime since student finance is already supporting me, even though the "support" doesn't even cover my rent.

I've contemplated changing my choices to cheaper accommodation (though the ones I picked before certainly weren't expensive) but Mom doesn't want me to stay in a "doss-hole" 'cause she thinks I'll be miserable and people will steal all my stuff. She says we'll find some way to make it work but idk I'm just worried I guess…

My firm choice has a thing where you get £700 if you do 100 hours of a work experience placement during the course of the semester, so I was thinking of doing that 1-2 times so I actually have something on my CV and then I'll be more likely to be accepted for a job towards the end of the academic year, but I'll have to see if that works out if I even get in since I'm super worried about results day too.

No. 105205

I desperately want to settle down get marred have children mostly so I don't have to spend the rest of my life working dead end jobs to make ends meet. I was raised in a working class family that placed a lot more value in working our fingers to the bone in some miserable shit job so long as you were making money, no matter how meager the amount was, than to actually evote your time to school, volunteering and internships so it fucked me over and I'll never be a career woman so might as well become a sahm. But I'm 29 and single and I feel like it should've happened by now and now that window is closing on me as well. I can't find a man with whom to settle down and it stresses me out.

No. 105223

File: 1469865679650.jpg (46.85 KB, 540x472, 1469444845683.jpg)

>go to bathroom at work
>Toilet seat is stained with piss and it's unflushed

I fucking hate these people.

No. 105230

File: 1469869887764.jpeg (332.2 KB, 1024x768, image.jpeg)

EPILEPSY. I'm epileptic, and I find it the most frustrating shit ever, my seizures are sort of controlled, I haven't had a grand mal in a while but I still have tonic fits, I work in education and though people are very good with it, I find when I haven't had a seizure in a while people seem to think that means I'm fine, they don't realise the horrible effects of my medication and the daunting worry that I'll have a fit then you get others who are very wary of me. THEN you get the occasional wally who goes "I know if you when you have a seizure I should put something in your mouth" FUCKING NO. It all gets me down massively, anyone got any advice or feel the same?

No. 105237

>>105230
I find it's the same with any chronic illness. I'm schizophrenic, and people do the same thing, if I've been fine for a bit, they just assume that it's because it's all over now and I'm fine There's no way to fix this though, people close to you learn it eventually, but if they haven't already, there's nothing you can do to make them get it. You kind of just have to learn to accept that most people aren't going to understand what's going on with you, and that they don't really need to. I've got no idea what their issues are, they don't need to understand mine usually either.


And the people who have wrong advice or the wrong idea are at least trying to help. Isn't that advice true for a certain sort of seizure though? To stop you biting your tongue off or something? Or is that just a pop culture thing completely.

No. 105239

>>105237 Thank you, that's very comforting to know other people feel the same. There are a lot of misconceptions about seizure first aid, putting something in the mouth can cause broken teeth, choking etc, best thing to do is as long as the person isn't near anything that could hurt them is just leave them alone, time the fit and comfort them when they come round. Annoyingly when I have grand mals when I come round I throw up and have no idea what's going on for a few days

No. 105246

>>105239
It's definitely not an uncommon thing, and it makes sense really, most people haven't experienced stuff like that that comes and goes so drastically.

That's interesting about the first aid thing, though I have to ask, is the whole point about making sure the area around them is free of any hard corners or whatever true? That's one thing I remember being taught for certain is that it's important to make sure the area around them is free of anything they could hurt themselves on or break.

What sort of epilepsy do you have, too? Is this advice true for all of them?

No. 105257

File: 1469889459463.jpeg (135.53 KB, 595x842, image.jpeg)

>>105246 Yeah, I totally understand that people don't understand it, and people usually can be quite frightened by it, I wear a medical braclet and carry a card that gives first aid advice, moving things away is because some people can convulse very voilently and hurt themselves on chairs/tables etc, I have cryptogenic epilepsy which pretty much means doctors have no idea what causes it, I mainly have tonic seizures (going stiff and falling down without losing consciousness) and grand mals (collapse, convulse, piss myself haha)

No. 105258

>>105257
It definitely is a scary disorder, thankfully I've never experienced seizures though.

So the part about moving stuff away is true then? Does the stuff in the pic apply to grand mals too, or should you be more forceful with that, and try to restrain the person somewhat?

So they can't track where it's happening for you? At one point they thought I had a type that caused psychotic episodes, but from my knowledge they scanned where it would be and it was clear, isn't diagnosis based off a scan of the brain usually?

No. 105259

>>105246 also after a grand mal I go into a postictal state for 2-5 days sometimes where I become space cadet and have no idea who I am or what's going on

No. 105261

>>105258 A grand mal and tonic clinic are the same thing, there are so many different words and terms, I've had mri's, eegs, lumbar punches (as at first they thought I had menigitus or encephalitis) and no joy! There are more than 40 types though, I've been very lucky though, my past few grand mals have been in shops or the pub and there's been someone who either knows someone or has epilepsy themselves as it's surprisingly common. Yeah, if someone has a seizure where they fall then just make sure they can't hurt themselves on anything, it's really difficult to give advice really as people's fits are so different, but the basics are on that poster, I really apricate your interest in being aware :)

No. 105262

>>105261
Oh, well I suppose you learn something every day, I had no idea of that.

And yeah, that is really lucky. Generally if I an suffering an episode and am in public I just end up with the police called on me if it's noticeable, so I suppose that's one upside to epilepsy that people are more understanding of it than with some other illnesses. There's always some sort of silver lining, same as mine is that there's no real chance of me seriously injuring myself unintentionally.

>the basics are on that poster, I really apricate your interest in being aware :)


Yep, I gave it a read and saved it, thanks. And of course, I really like being able to help with shit where I can, especially with illness, and it turns out I knew nothing about epilepsy really, so this was really constructive for me too. I hope I could help you out somehow as well.

Good luck anon, I hope the medications work well for you in the future.

No. 105264

>>105262 what happens during your seizures? If you don't mind me asking! No judgment with the police thing, I ended up buying all the nurses flowers after my last stint in hospital as I was so out of it that I kept pulling my canulas out, getting out of bed and wandering off and somehow managed to pull a catheter out!

No. 105265

>>105262 not seizures sorry, episodes, I don't know much about your condition and I would like to be aware as well!

No. 105267

>>105264
It honestly really depends on the episode. But essentially it starts off with just being more confused about stuff, things make less sense, I mess up words and the like, and it just develops into delusional thoughts, like "The TV is talking to me with subliminal messages" or something. Hallucinations aren't constant, but generally fit in with whatever the overall feeling is. So if I'm freaked out, they're in a way that freaks me out more.

To use the worst example, it started off how I described, building up over a couple weeks, and at it's maximum led to me believing that everyone alive was possessed or controlled by something. This set me off massively (and with the hallucinations, many people seemed like they had black eyes, which confirmed it). Once this hits for this sort of thing, it's just all encompassing fear for a long period of time, which leads to you acting like a normal terrified person would, lashing out and being really defensive. This is probably my worst one because my partner at the time ended up getting physically hurt because they were trying to help me but got too close and I cut them, and it ended up with a police confrontation and me in a psych ward for a while. No charges though.

Others have been really mood based, so like, if I was heavily depressed, I might become convinced I'm actually in hell and am being punished for something.


It's really hard to describe though, because it's not the same for everyone. The only consistent things are the delusions and confused thinking.



Only advice I could give is that if you think someone is actively psychotic, don't play games around it. Call whatever your local emergency number is, and ask them if they think the person needs to be hospitalised, because it's really unpredictable where it can go.


Most of the time though I just suffer from depression, and don't seem like there's anything else wrong, so people assume I'm all better. And for the time I am, but it's very much because I life really controlled life, I don't do much of anything, stress is a massive trigger for that sort of stuff. Long term stress at least.

I wish I could explain better somehow, but it's hard to over such a broad scale.



Also, I wanted to ask, do you have anything that sets off seizures for you? I know it's not usually flashing lights and can be other stuff too, but is it just random for you?

No. 105268

>>105267
Well that was definitely more than I intended to write.

No. 105270

>>105268 That's why it's the vent thread! That's a lot to cope with, I hope you have people around you to support you! I do find the brain fascinating with how it works, or doesn't haha, nothing sets mine off and I get no warning, but my last one I was at the till of a shop, I was told I just stopped and stared at the poor girl serving me for a while then just collapsed, I felt awful, it really shook her up!

No. 105272

>>105270
It's easier to deal with than it sounds really, it's not very common for me anymore, maybe a month or two of the year are spent that way at this point, it's manageable. I'd definitely prefer it to something like what you're describing.

You're right though, it's interesting how we act like we know so much about it, but there's just so much shit that can go wrong we don't have any idea why it does. We know pretty much nothing about the brain overall.

You never know though, she might have gotten a few days off work with pay for that, I'd definitely have gone for it if it was just some retail job and I was her. I can't imagine what it would be like to just have control ripped from you like that randomly though, that sounds terrible. At least with my stuff you can pretty much learn to tell when it's coming on and what sort of stuff can set it off.

No. 105273

>>105272 Are you medicated for it? Or have any form of therapy?
Yeah, I hope she did, they were very sweet and gave me a gift bag of stuff from the shop! I'm quite lucky with my tonic seizures as I get a metallic taste and my sight goes blurry so I know to sit down somewhere safe

No. 105276

>>105273
I've been medicated in the past, but they're all pretty harsh on me, so I rely on avoiding the things that set it off mostly. I am on a low dose of an anti-psychotic, but only very low, it just helps the low lying stuff stay away. I do therapy, yeah.

That's a good point, having the slight bit of warning would be helpful, you sometimes hear about people where it's much more sudden than that and messes them up pretty bad. Are you able to get medication for it? Does the whole CBD oil thing really work as far as you know?

No. 105281

>>105276 how do you find therapy? Also where are you from? Yeah I take an anti seizure medication, I'm not sure about cbd oil and don't know any other epileptics that I could ask, I just stick to good old prescription drugs!

No. 105290

>mfw I just got yelled at by my uncle for saying I was for Bernie and refuse to consider Hillary or Trump for the vote
>Got called disruptive and disrespectful because of my opinion
>Is called dumb because I'm younger than him
>He tries to go against me by justifying Hillary and her goon's (possible) cheating
>says Bernie is terrible just because he changed parties (only argument)
>tells me straight up that I can never prove him wrong JUST because he's an elder
>gets yelled at because I'm supposed to know he acts like this even though I haven't seen him in more of a decade
>lmao at the fact I don't live in the mainland and my vote don't matter anyway
>gets me even more upset because he's spouting more generalizations about different groups and In not allowed to say anything and some family members are agreeing or believing him
>this is the same man who said Travon Martin is the youngest black boy to be killed in America and then deny what he said
>not related but I hate him more cause he keeps berating my mentally ill aunt but then half of the shit he says isn't too far from what from what she says

No. 105293

File: 1469912716936.gif (1.34 MB, 800x533, meftV0q.gif)

>dropped pic

No. 105298

>>105062
I don't smoke weed and I've never taken any drugs aside from painkillers found in any grocery store

I guess this all started at the beginning of the year when I realised how mentally ill my mother is, I don't know how that would be connected though

No. 105299

>>105281
Therapy's just with a psychologist in my local area I was referred to by my GP, who somehow knows pretty much every doctor within a 50km radius. I see a psychiatrist as well, though I was referred to him out of an inpatient setting, not by my GP.

And that makes sense if the anti-seizure medications work that you wouldn't actually need to look into anything else.

>>105298
Any dissociative disorder can be pretty linked to a stressful of traumatic event, which depending on the circumstance I can see why finding that out about your mother would be.

Though it's not very easy for us to diagnose anything for you because none of us are psychiatrists or have seen your presentation. I'd really recommend you did talk to your GP about it if it's bothering you and impacting your life.

No. 105308

File: 1469930667367.jpg (29.89 KB, 500x533, 5b9b6f361c1471c2bf07a903ff8cc1…)

My boyfriend honestly thinks I'm ugly and told me so. I don't really know what to do. He even deleted all the pictures and videos he ever had of me. A while before he told me actually. I mean I never actually thought he really did think I was cute but it really hurts tbh. I don't really have any hope that it'll work out between us anymore.

He says he loves me despite it and that I look okay in some and that maybe I'll look better with weightloss, but I'm so close to 100 pounds and if I'm so disgusting that he had to delete every picture no amount of weightloss will ever change that. He said the only reason he ever wanted pictures or videos was to see if I got better.

I still really want to be together but I don't know what I'd do when we're together. If I could wear a mask 24/7 I would but it's not like I could meet his parents like that. There's no way we could ever have sex without him imaging someone else either. I'm literally 100% flat without even mosquito bites, have an undefined waist and hips, a really small butt, and I'm 4'11 so it's not like I could have long legs. We had problems with attraction even before this. It made me go from feeling super lewd daily all day to completely dead for a while now. I can't even masturbate because of how disgusting I feel. I hate my body and face so much tbh.

I can't even imagine us being together anymore. Much less do something like cuddle or kiss. I feel really stupid and disgusting. I honestly feel like I don't deserve to be with him. He's a really great guy and deserves someone he'd actually be attracted to. He keeps saying he's with me because he likes my personality but there's no way that's enough when I'm this gross. Honestly I'm pretty sure he's only with me because me obsessing over him makes him feel good and with someone that's both so ugly and has such a shit body he won't have to worry about cheating like what's happened to him before.

I'm gonna keep up with my weightloss and show him at the end, but I really really doubt he'll ever be even a little bit attracted to me.

No. 105310

>>105308
Jfc girl I hope this is bait. Otherwise you're both delusional.
>100 pounds
I hope you mean kilos.

No. 105311

>>105308
You honestly really shouldn't be with someone that talks to you like that, and doesn't respect you. It's okay if your partner finds an aspect of you unattractive, but he sounds like he's being a dick towards you for no reason, and you don't sound particularly overweight at all (though I don't know what a normal weight for someone at your height is), you sound skinny in fact.


Why be with someone that thinks insulting you is okay?

Don't let him just use you until someone more attractive comes along.

No. 105312

>>105308


Dump his ass. He doesn't love you, that's just him being a manipulative and abusive piece of shit.

I know it's hard, but please. DUMP HIM.

Being there done that. You will feel a thousand times better after you got rid of that fecal waste of oxygen.

No. 105313

>>105308
lol bro if he's negging you like that he's emotionally abusive and grooming you into being one of those mentally crippled complacent wives. find someone who likes you jfc.

actually it deepnds on how he said it. if it's like "hey bitch u fug" then ya he's fucking your little brain up.

if he said like, "hey maybe we can work out together or something" then he probably does think you're fat and ugly but wants to help with that shit.

No. 105314

File: 1469932100339.jpg (196.99 KB, 3000x1688, maxresdefault (9).jpg)

>>105313
>>105313
forgot pic

find a NICE GUY

No. 105315

>>105310

Nah, she's only 4'11. she meant pounds.

>>105308

I bet you're cute; enough with the self-loathing.

Honestly idk why anyone would tell someone else shit like that. Your bf sounds like a manipulative prick. Also don't lose too much weight, nobody thinks skellies are attractive.

No. 105317

>>105311
>>105310
>>105312
I'm 4'11, I used to be 200 pounds a few years ago but I've been steadily losing weight. I hate sending body pics so the last pic I sent was around 15-20 pounds ago which is a lot on a small short frame. Ideally I'd be around 85-90 pounds.

We were arguing about attraction already when he brought up my face. It wasn't really an insult he was just being honest. We get along really well most of the time and we talk literally every single day for hours since we met in December. He keeps saying he still really wants to be with me and he's still attracted to me, but I think he's trying to fool himself into thinking that so he doesn't feel shallow. Since he admitted it he's been trying really hard to make me feel better.

>>105315
I'm really honestly not. Not kandajin tier but definitely way uglier than than every other lolcow and snowflake here. Literally no one other than my family members have ever called me anything but ugly and manly.

If I start looking skelly I'll stop but I've got a small frame with very little muscle and my grandma with the exact same height and very similar frame looked very skinny fat at 100 pounds like I do right now and healthy/skinny a bit lower.

No. 105318

>>105308
>I feel really stupid and disgusting.
>I honestly feel like I don't deserve to be with him.
>He's a really great guy and deserves someone he'd actually be attracted to.

He tells you these things because he wants you to feel this way. If you ever realise your true value, there's a chance you might leave.

Try and step back from the situation and imagine one of your friends, someone you really care about, was being treated like this. Read your post as if you were sent it. Would you accept it? Would you believe them when they tell you their BF is too good for them? Do you think a genuinely nice person could ever treat your beloved friend like this?

He might not even realise he's doing it, so it's not necessarily malicious. But that makes it even more dangerous for you, if this is how he intuitively interacts with people then there's very little hope of him unlearning it.

No. 105319

>>105317
Not even Mira is honest to god ugly, anon. People say that because they hate her personality but I don't think she's ugly at all. Maybe a bit wonky at times but with the right haircut and makeup (and not being a weeaboo) she'd be grand.

No. 105320

>>105313
>>105314
Fuck off namefag.

>>105316

Even with that, it's not okay to call your partner ugly and make them feel insecure and shitty in the relationship, as others have said it can very easily be a sign of him being manipulative, making you feel worse so that you don't feel like you can go out and meet other people, and as such can't meet someone better than him, and will do anything to keep him.

Unless he was incredibly apologetic and just said it in the middle of an already heated argument where insults were already flying, I don't think there's really any way to justify it. It could be okay if it was in that situation, but from what you're saying it wasn't, and he just outright told you you were ugly, which isn't okay.

What sort of a retard would call a 4'11 girl manly anyway? Especially if you have a small frame.

>>105318
This person put it really well.

No. 105322

>>105317
Would you go out of your way to tell someone that you think they're ugly? Do you think that's an acceptable way to behave towards someone else, even if it's truly how you feel? Other than intentionally trying to hurt someone's feelings, do you think it's ever appropriate to tell someone you think they're unattractive, even if they are?

>Since he admitted it he's been trying really hard to make me feel better.


In the cycle of abuse this is called the honeymoon period. He makes sure to comfort you for the pain he himself inflicted, so that you always come running back to him when he has upset you. He's not remorseful, he's making sure you associate being hurt by him with being comforted by him.

No. 105323

>>105318
>He tells you these things because he wants you to feel this way. If you ever realise your true value, there's a chance you might leave.

He's never told me this. He's never even really hinted at it. Hence the "I feel" and not "he told me/implied" like I said about being ugly. He tries to give me tons of compliments all the time, especially now after this. Whenever I feel sad or my health issues get to me he always tries his best to make me feel better. To be completely honest I've almost definitely got some mental problems of my own and he still puts up with me.

>>105320
>>105322
>What sort of a retard would call a 4'11 girl manly anyway? Especially if you have a small frame.

My face mostly, my jaw and chin are pretty messed up plus I have thin wide lips. Hence why he said he's sure I'll "look even better with weightloss". Also I have a really unfortunate bodytype like I described in my first post, plus while most of my body is small my shoulders are slightly above average and because of the difference and narrow hips it makes them look even wider.

I know lolcow always wants the most dramatic thing to be true, but not every problem with a relationship is because one person is abusive. Literally every time someone posts about a relationship they get told they're being "gaslighted" and manipulated.

We were already talking about attractiveness and arguing about it. It wasn't even meant as that much of a bad thing. He was saying I'd just look even better with weightloss and then everything else came out because I asked him about it.

No. 105324

>>105323
Can you clarify what happened then? Because you put it like he outright said you're ugly and undesirable, and now you're acting like he just said you'd look better if you lost weight and you just felt like he thought you were ugly. If it's the first, that is emotionally manipulative, especially with the rest your described, but if it's the latter, you're just being overly sensitive and should deal with it.

But until you tell us which one it is, no-one can help at all.

No. 105325

>>105317

>I'm really honestly not. […] definitely way uglier than than every other lolcow and snowflake here. Literally no one other than my family members have ever called me anything but ugly and manly.


I don't believe it for a minute. Post a pic of someone that looks like you. It's like >>105320 said, I've never seen a mannish-looking ANYTHING at 4 foot 11. Unless it's Peter Dinklage or somebody like that.

ngl 200 pounds at that size is a lot, but you've gotten yourself so much healthier! You have so much drive and willpower.

If your mom was the only one who ever called you pretty maybe she was right and your bf is wrong.

No. 105327

>>105323
>Literally every time someone posts about a relationship they get told they're being "gaslighted" and manipulated.

Bullshit. Most of them get completely ignored. A ton of the time they get told they're in the wrong, and to stop being a dick to their partner.

Sometimes a post like yours gets five or six replies telling them to leave because they're clearly in a toxic relationship that is very obviously unhealthy from the outside. and then the person either replies considering the advice or they post a bunch of justifications for their partners behaviour that for anyone who's ever witnessed an abusive relationship or god forbid been in one, instantly recognises as the mindset of an abused person. Usually they get mad that other people would imply their partner is bad in any way, even though they were the one complaining in the first place.

>B-but it's my fault he calls me horrible names, I make him lose his temper by being shit

>I'm ugly I deserve to be treated like this though
>He's the nicest person except for the 25% of the time he treats me like shit in these specific ways

No. 105328

>>105323
lol dude this is like manipulation 101

he's making you feel shitty so that you feel lucky to have someone out of your league so that you stay loyal and obedient

you're being reprogrammed lol

No. 105329

>>105324
Both really, he didn't mean for it to be an outright "you're ugly lol" but after us arguing when I asked him about it he admitted it and said that right now face wise he doesn't find me attractive at all. That he's never kept any picture I've sent him (and I have 0 pictures posted anywhere on the internet) and that the only reason he ever wanted pictures or videos was to see if I got better. He says he was happy I sent them anyway so he could see more of me but I'm not sure if I believe that tbh.

I guess it's being oversensitive but if he can't stand looking at my pictures how is he going to deal with it irl? It's not like it's something that just matters in a sexual context either. If he can't find me even the tiniest bit attractive how is he going to feel when we're talking face to face or cuddling and everything.

>>105325
I told you it's mostly face, I'm not going to search the internet for someone who looks really similar to me. I have a really wide jaw and prominent chin. My mom also told me I was "so skinny" at 170 pounds and that I was "skin and bones" and shouldn't lose anymore at 130. So I'm not exactly all that sure that she's the most accurate opinion.

Also since this has happened before I'm not some "tiny kawaii asian". I have really mature features and I'm white.

>>105327
This isn't a witch hunt post or a please help me post. I was just ranting because I'm tired of being ugly. And I don't know what you're looking at but unless the anon is going "I cheated and took all his money lol" any problems with the relationship always get put down as abuse.

All I wanted was advice on how to deal with being ugly and your partner not being attracted to you. If anything I wanted to be told to get over it and to try to accept that he wants to be with me anyway. I just wanted to make it clear that it wasn't just me reading into things that weren't there or "everyone is beautiful uwu" and I got that anyway.

No. 105331

File: 1469935182057.jpg (83.82 KB, 521x514, chihuahua.jpg)

>Best friend gets a boyfriend
>All she does is talk about him
>When she gets in a fight with him I have to comfort her
>When I have a problem she tells me to get over it or doesn't respond to my texts until way later
>I want to tell her what I really think but I'm generally easygoing so I know she would flip out on me
>mfw

No. 105332

>>105331
If you hate the idea of telling her that much just fade her out. Life is too short for shit friends who wouldn't even notice you're gone till they need you.

No. 105333

>>105329
What it comes down to is that if your partner is deleting all your photos and did outright say that you aren't attractive to him in the slightest, yet wants to be with you for some reason, he's being manipulative. I've dated people that physically aren't that attractive looking back on it, but in the moment seemed like they were stunningly good looking and I was massively attracted to, because of who they were.

Frankly, even if this isn't some planned out manipulation tactic, the guy's being a fucking prick to you, and clearly doesn't care that much about you. You simply don't treat someone you supposedly want to be with that way, because it is abusive behaviour. Abuse isn't just some 40 year old balding redneck with a bit of a gut who beats his wife and drinks too much, it's much larger scale and more insidious than that.

I really doubt you're as ugly as you're saying you are, and until we've actually seen you it's impossible to say, but the thing is that by virtue of you apparently being someone he cares deeply about and possibly loves, you should be very attractive to him.

The fact this is upsetting you as much as it is should be proof enough that the relationship isn't healthy.

No. 105335

>>105332

I'm thinking I might have to do that. Either that or I'll have to grow a pair and just tell her how I feel.

It's just hard because there's times where she genuinely seems to care.

No. 105337

>>105329
No, everyone just told you that even if you are ugly you don't deserve to be made to feel like shit by someone who's supposed to love you. Under no circumstance were the things he said to you okay. You feeling bad about them was not an unreasonable reaction.

>All I wanted was advice on how to deal with being ugly and your partner not being attracted to you.


And you got it. The advice is leave,by unanimous consensus. Neither of you will ever be happy or fulfilled. Both of you will feel like shit for the entire duration of your relationship. You will probably never believe him even if he does start to be attracted to you. and if you really think you're so awful and he's so great, why are you dragging him down? Why are you making him stay with someone so awful?

> If anything I wanted to be told to get over it and to try to accept that he wants to be with me anyway.


So what you really wanted were lies and placation, not advice. Don't ask for advice when what you really want is reassurance, because you'll probably be told something you didn't want to hear.

>I just wanted to make it clear that it wasn't just me reading into things that weren't there or "everyone is beautiful uwu" and I got that anyway.


If that's what you took away from those posts you can add "Stupid" Under "Ugly" On your list of bad attributes.

You're clearly not interested in actually improving your situation, and determined to be a victim.

No. 105339

>>105333
Of course I'd be upset by getting told he doesn't find my face attractive. Even when I was super obese and I knew it getting told I was was still enough to make me feel bad. He's said that even if he doesn't think I'm super attractive face wise that he still loves me and would still want to see pictures in the future. How is that not the same as what you just said about loving someone despite that.

I was the one who brought it up and asked him to explain. I told him repeatedly to tell me his honest feelings and he did. If telling the truth when asked is abusive than abuse is a joke now.

You can doubt it all you want but legitimately ugly people exist. I'm not saying I should be beaten regularly and be forced to wear a burqa but you have to be realistic about things.

>but the thing is that by virtue of you apparently being someone he cares deeply about and possibly loves, you should be very attractive to him.


And that's what I've been telling you he's said, but according to you that's abusive and manipulative when he says it. Look this would be really helpful if this actually was an abusive relationship, but it's really not and I've never said other wise.

>>105337
>And you got it. The advice is leave,by unanimous consensus. Neither of you will ever be happy or fulfilled. Both of you will feel like shit for the entire duration of your relationship. You will probably never believe him even if he does start to be attracted to you. and if you really think you're so awful and he's so great, why are you dragging him down? Why are you making him stay with someone so awful?

Because when I told him about it he said he didn't want me to leave and he's stayed and been perfectly happy for 9 months anyway.

>So what you really wanted were lies and placation, not advice. Don't ask for advice when what you really want is reassurance, because you'll probably be told something you didn't want to hear.


So anyone who doesn't say I should expect my bf to always tell me I'm the hottest woman in the universe even when I ask him to be honest is just reassuring me and lying to me? That sounds completely backwards.


>You're clearly not interested in actually improving your situation, and determined to be a victim.


I made a post in the vent thread, I was expecting one reply where I got told to get over it because looks aren't everything. I'll probably deal with it just fine eventually if he acts the same exact way as before. If everything was fine before and it's only after he said it now when I asked that I feel bad. Then if nothing changes and he really does still love me and he wasn't just pretending for some stupid reason then everything is fine.

>If that's what you took away from those posts you can add "Stupid" Under "Ugly" On your list of bad attributes.


So why am I getting a bunch of "I'm sure you're not actually ugly"? I never even really asked to be "saved." I came to vent because I forgot lolcow is officially tumblr/pull now and everything is abuse and everyone not being told they're beautiful even when they're ugly is the absolute worst thing ever. For fucks sake it was a rant I expected everyone to tldr and ignore. I wanted a place to vent hence the vent thread and not the tell me I'm being abused and that I'm actually a model thread. If I wanted that I'd go post on tumblr about how it was ableist or whatever.

It's almost 11 here, I wanted to get something off my chest so I could go to sleep instead of wallowing in self pity. Feel free to believe I'm a poor little lamb being abused if you want.

No. 105340

>>105333
>>105337

Not her but that might not be entirely fair. If he called her ugly once when they were arguing it's honestly forgiveable depending on how often it comes up. I've said dumb shit to people who didn't deserve it myself.

What gets me is deleting all the photos and vids. If someone went to the trouble to take them and give them to me I'd keep them just because I'd rather not hurt their feelings.

Don't call her stupid, it's the last thing people need to hear when they already feel that awful about themselves.

>>105329

>I just wanted to make it clear that it wasn't just me reading into things that weren't there


So point out where somebody other than you mentioned you either being or not being a "tiny kawaii asian desu"

>"everyone is beautiful uwu"


Can't really fault you there because sometimes shit like that just comes out of my mouth when people are up to their tits in self-loathing

No. 105343

>>105339
Anon, you're ignoring what I said. If you love someone, you see them as attractive no matter what they actually look like, assuming you don't actually look like a gremlin.

You're giving this conflicting story of "He told me it out of nowhere and I felt it was mean and cruel", and then going "Oh it was actually my fault he said it at all", and taking all the blame away from him.

>And that's what I've been telling you he's said, but according to you that's abusive and manipulative when he says it. Look this would be really helpful if this actually was an abusive relationship, but it's really not and I've never said other wise.



No, you told us he told you he was ugly, and then jumped into highly loving and caring behaviour for a while. Going from being cruel and putting the person down straight to being extremely caring and making them feel like you actually do care is textbook abuse.

Look at how you're viewing this relationship. You're going "I'm so ugly and hopeless and generally completely undesirable, but he's so great and is an amazing person for even putting up with me", while ignoring that he's the fucking reason you feel undesirable in the relationship in the first place. It's not normal at all to delete all photos of your partner and tell them about it.

Does this sound like a happy relationship where everyone's emotionally fulfilled to you?

>I came to vent because I forgot lolcow is officially tumblr/pull now and everything is abuse


You came to a thread where it specifically says that people will try to help, and are now complaining when it's been decided by literally everyone who replied, independently mind you, that this is not a healthy relationship and that he's being manipulative towards you. Don't come here if you're just going to throw a tantrum when people tell you things you don't want to hear.

>>105340
>Not her but that might not be entirely fair. If he called her ugly once when they were arguing it's honestly forgiveable depending on how often it comes up. I've said dumb shit to people who didn't deserve it myself.

I did mention this, it wouldn't be a big deal if they were both arguing, emotions were running high and insults were already being thrown and he called her ugly or something, especially if he took it back afterwards. But she says that's not what happened, and he hasn't said that he was just angry or anything, and has continued to repeat the point.

No. 105345

>>105340
>Not her but that might not be entirely fair. If he called her ugly once when they were arguing it's honestly forgiveable depending on how often it comes up. I've said dumb shit to people who didn't deserve it myself.

This. When we were unemployed I argued with my bf (now husband) a lot. He'd call me fat (I'm anything but), I'd call him a fish-lipped cocksucking twink (he's very much straight and I love his lips). People say very silly things when they're upset and we laugh about it later on. Unless it's something extreme like 'kill yourself, you should never have been born', I don't think people should be worrying about it. Hell, I love my brothers and I called each and every one of them smelly bags of shite at least once when they pissed me off.

I hate it how tumblr and the internet makes it out like you should always be up your partner's arse and tell them how beautiful and special they are. That's not even how friendships work, but normal adults know this and take it in stride. You can usually tell when someone's trying to purposefully offend you vs when they're just saying something because you pissed them off.

No. 105347

>>105340
It didn't happen on lolcow, but there was a discussion about fit in a fashion community I was in and there was this one girl who wouldn't believe anyone who was 4'11 and flat chested could be anything but asian. I don't think anyone on here would be that crazy but since I've seen tons of asian = cute posts here I figured I'd make that clear.

>>105343
>"He told me it out of nowhere and I felt it was mean and cruel"
Show me where I said that. I didn't say it was cruel, I said it hurt. Mostly because it was true. And like the comparison I did before.

>and then jumped into highly loving and caring behaviour for a while.


That's how he is always is. Especially when I'm physically sick or I'm having problems completely unrelated to him. Hence me saying he really is a nice guy. He's been like that daily for months. I mentioned before I almost definitely have some legit mental issues before and he still puts up with it. And no he definitely hasn't said or implied I do. He's said the opposite actually.

>Look at how you're viewing this relationship. You're going "I'm so ugly and hopeless and generally completely undesirable, but he's so great and is an amazing person for even putting up with me", while ignoring that he's the fucking reason you feel undesirable in the relationship in the first place. It's not normal at all to delete all photos of your partner and tell them about it.


He didn't tell me about before I asked. It came up because there was one time I looked almost cute but he wouldn't show me. So I asked so I'd know what it looked like and he admitted he didn't have any of them anymore.

>You came to a thread where it specifically says that people will try to help, and are now complaining when it's been decided by literally everyone who replied, independently mind you, that this is not a healthy relationship and that he's being manipulative towards you. Don't come here if you're just going to throw a tantrum when people tell you things you don't want to hear.


For simple problems sure, but I'm not going to leave my bf I'm perfectly happy with when I've never had problems for 9 months solely because a few anons say he must be evil and abusive. I've posted in this thread before and so have plenty of other anons just to vent. Why do you even care if I'm that much of a stupid cunt then? Shouldn't I deserve to be "abused"?

If it was just advice I wouldn't care, but it's "there's no way you aren't being abused and your bf actually hates you and is evil." If you'd instantly believe and agree with random anons when they've never even met your bf you don't seem like that good of a gf. Same if you mentioned your mom called you fat when you asked and everyone said she must be abusive.

If it turns out you're right and he keeps bringing it up I'll come back and tell everyone they're all right. If he was shit or if it seemed like he was trying to hurt me I'd just block him on everything and that'd be it. I've done the same in the past and I've done it with relatives too. I can stand up for myself.

No. 105348

>>105347
Which fashion community, if you don't mind me asking? I love discussing fashion but all the ones I know about are either dead, full of fuckboy teenagers or infested with SJWs.

No. 105350

>>105347
>Show me where I said that. I didn't say it was cruel, I said it hurt. Mostly because it was true. And like the comparison I did before.

You said he called you ugly and that he repeatedly deleted all your photos. The assumption is that if it was in an argument, you'd have mentioned that.

>That's how he is always is.


Except for when he's calling you ugly and making you feel like absolute shit, right?

>He didn't tell me about before I asked. It came up because there was one time I looked almost cute but he wouldn't show me. So I asked so I'd know what it looked like and he admitted he didn't have any of them anymore.


The point is that it's not normal to delete photos of your partner because you find them ugly. That's not normal in the slightest.

>For simple problems sure, but I'm not going to leave my bf I'm perfectly happy with when I've never had problems for 9 month


Come off it, you came here to rant about how you have no hope it's going to work out and how you're having problems, don't try to pretend you're in a happy relationship now and it's all be sunshine and happiness since then.

>Why do you even care if I'm that much of a stupid cunt then? Shouldn't I deserve to be "abused"?


I never said any of this anon, and I think it's telling that you jumped straight to these conclusions.

>If it was just advice I wouldn't care, but it's "there's no way you aren't being abused and your bf actually hates you and is evil." If you'd instantly believe and agree with random anons when they've never even met your bf you don't seem like that good of a gf. Same if you mentioned your mom called you fat when you asked and everyone said she must be abusive.


If your mum called you fat and refused to keep any photos of you because she found you so physically repulsive, yeah, people would be damn right to say she's a shitty parent and that it isn't going to be healthy for you to live with them.

>If it turns out you're right and he keeps bringing it up I'll come back and tell everyone they're all right. If he was shit or if it seemed like he was trying to hurt me I'd just block him on everything and that'd be it. I've done the same in the past and I've done it with relatives too. I can stand up for myself.


I hope this is the case, but you're in a vent thread talking about how your relationship is so shit at the moment. Then when people said it could be shit because of a certain thing, you flipped out and backflipped and said it's been great for almost a year and you're going to be fine and work out and he didn't do anything wrong because its all your fault and true.

This isn't how people generally act around relationships, you're jumping around stories and so interested in defending him that your story ends up making no sense.

You do whatever you want though, ultimately it's your decision. If you enjoy being in an unhappy relationship where he clearly doesn't have any respect for you, more power to you. But don't come into a thread where people vent and others give advice, then act like we're shit people for doing just that and giving advice based on what you say and what we think. Keep a diary if you just want to vent.

No. 105353

>>105339
>If telling the truth when asked is abusive than abuse is a joke now.

You're missing the point. What would anyone in a relationship possibly get out of telling someone that ever? The above anon said s/he was in relationships with people they were only attracted to personality wise, do you think they told their partners that? Of course not, because all that does is hurt someone's feelings and no one deserves that. There's plenty of actually ugly people out there that find love just fine, and they're being treated better than you. Let that sink in.

Why are you wasting your time defending this easily replaceable person, and why would you be attracted to his personality in any way? You feel shitty because your unconscious knows better than you, and there's no running from that. You will literally never feel good enough for this person, and that's exactly what they want.

Suggest to this person that you want to take a break to think about if you want to be with someone that doesn't find you attractive. Remain very calm and take note of his response and how controlling he may or may not get. If you really think he's a good person, go find that out.

Also you probably took a long moment to write out all those excuses for him. Do you not understand how there are billions of people on the planet? Fucking fall in love and be passionate, stop wasting your time and accepting bullshit or you will never be happy.

No. 105356

>>105348
Lolita fashion, it's also full of tons and tons of sjws. Probably way more than the ones you've been into. It's also full of weebs, which is why that happened. Honestly I found most of the community obnoxious and my comm has some of the worst sjws despite being a stereotypically conservative state, but I love the fashion way too much to care. Honest discussion about the fashion itself is pretty rare outside of cgl and even then there's a ton of drama and "racism/slut shaming/fat hating" debates.

>>105350
>You said he called you ugly and that he repeatedly deleted all your photos. The assumption is that if it was in an argument, you'd have mentioned that.
I was ranting and not really formatting it for other people to read. I admit that definitely was partly my fault because I wasn't thinking of what other people would think when posting in a public place. I genuinely didn't think anyone would care anymore than they do for any other post.

>Come off it, you came here to rant about how you have no hope it's going to work out and how you're having problems, don't try to pretend you're in a happy relationship now and it's all be sunshine and happiness since then.


It has been, but if something big happens like that you get nervous and confused and wonder if things will change or if everything was fake. Even if it's something as harmless as being told their spaghetti is great when your family just thinks it's mediocre can cause some people to feel bad. Have you seriously never ranted about something that you normally love ever? Not even complained about a family member you loved?

>I never said any of this anon, and I think it's telling that you jumped straight to these conclusions.

>If that's what you took away from those posts you can add "Stupid" Under "Ugly" On your list of bad attributes
>You're clearly not interested in actually improving your situation, and determined to be a victim.

>If your mum called you fat and refused to keep any photos of you because she found you so physically repulsive, yeah, people would be damn right to say she's a shitty parent and that it isn't going to be healthy for you to live with them.


But if she only said it when you asked and you're literally twice the recommended weight than you'd be an idiot to cut her off for that. The pictures thing doesn't really compare unless you're sending them several times a month when she asks so she can see your progress and cheer you on. And it's not like I think he'd take down any of pictures of me irl, he just didn't save the photos for a long period of time. I've personally saved literally everything he sent and even wrote down a lot of the things he's said so part of it is probably just me having a different viewpoint.

>>105353
>Then when people said it could be shit because of a certain thing, you flipped out and backflipped and said it's been great for almost a year and you're going to be fine and work out and he didn't do anything wrong because its all your fault and true.

I literally asked for it repeatedly. Have you never heard of the phrase curiosity killed the cat? How it can not be at least partially my fault? It's also objectively true. It's not like he's calling me fat at 70 pounds. You can't get mad at someone for calling you fat when you're 250 pounds and asking for honest opinions and the same applies here.

>You will literally never feel good enough for this person, and that's exactly what they want.

If that's true why give me all those compliments months before this happened then? He always tells me the exact opposite and tries to raise me up. He even argues with me for hours if I start felling bad about being completely titless.

>Also you probably took a long moment to write out all those excuses for him.

I'm just a really slow typer and it's 11:30 when I normally go to sleep at 6:00 and wake up really early.

I told you if he really does start acting shady I'll come back and beg for forgiveness, but this is literally the only thing he's ever done in 9 months. I'm not going to dump my boyfriend that I love over one comment that I told him to be completely honest about and anons told me I'm being abused. Now I'm really going to bed like I should've done right after I posted this, but once again curiosity kills the cat. Feel free to reply if you really want but I won't be back to read it till morning.

No. 105357

>>105356
This place really is worse than r/relationships sometimes. I guess I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, especially because it's statistically impossible for every girl on the internet who complains about her abusive parents/bf/pet hamster to be telling the truth.

Whatever your situation, anon, just know that you're probably not as ugly as you think. Remember that even Honey Boo Boo's mum could find a bf.

No. 105358

>>105356
>I was ranting and not really formatting it for other people to read. I admit that definitely was partly my fault because I wasn't thinking of what other people would think when posting in a public place. I genuinely didn't think anyone would care anymore than they do for any other post.

That's possibly the case, but if it was in an argument or something, you should have clarified.

>It has been, but if something big happens like that you get nervous and confused and wonder if things will change or if everything was fake.


Anon, you said this was nine months ago, right? I dont' really understand why you'd still even remember let alone be upset about it if your relationship was happy still.

>If that's what you took away from those posts you can add "Stupid" Under "Ugly" On your list of bad attributes

>You're clearly not interested in actually improving your situation, and determined to be a victim.

Aren't me. Though being determined to be a victim doesn't mean you deserve it.

>But if she only said it when you asked and you're literally twice the recommended weight than you'd be an idiot to cut her off for that. The pictures thing doesn't really compare unless you're sending them several times a month when she asks so she can see your progress and cheer you on. And it's not like I think he'd take down any of pictures of me irl, he just didn't save the photos for a long period of time. I've personally saved literally everything he sent and even wrote down a lot of the things he's said so part of it is probably just me having a different viewpoint.


You're really set on justifying why what he's doing is okay. It's not normal to delete all photos of your partner, and you have to wonder why he's with you if he finds you so repulsive he can't even bear to keep photos of you.

>It's also objectively true. It's not like he's calling me fat at 70 pounds. You can't get mad at someone for calling you fat when you're 250 pounds and asking for honest opinions and the same applies here


For one, you've not actually given any reason why you'd be so disgusting apart from that apparently you've got a slightly masculine face. Which lots of women do. And you're acting like you're some super fat person when he's encouraging weightloss when you weigh around 100lbs. You're not obese at that weight.

And I've dealt with partners who bug you about their looks, and honestly, how you feel about them impacts how you see them. If I'm in love with someone, they seem like incredibly attractive people, even though in hindsight they aren't. It gets to the point where it's annoying when people bug me about it, because the answer's not going to change. Why would he be with you if he found you so repulsive?

>>105357
Nowhere near most posts get met with a "they're abusive" thing, most are generally considered to be something normal that just has to be worked through, and both are at fault. Often it's the posters fault. In this case however, either she's presenting it in a completely inaccurate way, or he's being really fucking strange, and her behaviour afterwards suggests it's the second. It's not normal to act the way she did in defence of a relationship, she changed her story and pretty clearly lied about the state it's in to make it sound better. It reads much more like her trying to convince herself than anyone else.

No. 105447

>>105356
>I literally asked for it repeatedly. Have you never heard of the phrase curiosity killed the cat?

The second half of the phrase is "But satisfaction brought it back" It's not against curiosity or saying it's a bad thing.

No. 105452

>>105358
>Anon, you said this was nine months ago, right? I dont' really understand why you'd still even remember let alone be upset about it if your relationship was happy still.

Anon we've been together 9 months before this, it happened the day we were arguing. Why on earth would I start complaining about it 9 months later?

Other than that this went nowhere. I promise you I'm not an abusive relationship.

>>105447
It can definitely be a good thing, but it's killed lots of real cats too.

No. 105454

>>105452
>Anon we've been together 9 months before this, it happened the day we were arguing. Why on earth would I start complaining about it 9 months later?


I have no idea, but you're the one who's just come out with a story that's changed from "I don't know if our relationship is going to last any longer" to "My relationship is perfect and my bf is a saint who has done no wrong by me, you're all just stupid".

Do you really not see why people might think that there's some manipulation go on?

No. 105456

>>105454
Do you really want to continue this? It had literally just happened and I was ranting. It was just a huge shock to me and wrote it as more of a diary entry than anything else.

No. 105562

File: 1470011049129.jpg (4.68 KB, 252x191, download.jpg)

I have the most unfortunate body shape on the planet, holy shit.
I'm petite with a small bust, small shoulders, narrow hips and ankles except for my massive gut, ass and thighs. I have colitis so I've always had a bulging belly, even as a kid. I can stick it out so it looks like I'm in my second trimester, that's how bad it is. If I find trousers that fit, I'm gonna have a horrible muffin top. If I wear high-waisted anything, it's gonna make my thighs look massive by compressing my waist. If I wear jeggings, it does literally nothing for my thighs. If I find a shirt that fits on top, it always clings to my stomach and makes me look like a fat human sausage. I don't know what to do anymore.

No. 105563

I went to my first Comicon today and it was okay. But the art section was swarmed with SJW type of people who are into all that non-binary bullshit and "mi genda doe". It was so painful to listen and see it in person… my friend was all fascinated and I'm thinking "bullshit"

oh god

No. 105582

>>105562
If you posted your body in tight clothing that showed your shape people could easily give you fashion advice; I don't know if there's a thread for that but tbh so many fashion forums do stuff life that so don't worry about clothing.

Have you ever seen a nutritionist? They can take your blood and show vitamin deficiencies that effect your appearance (and mood obviously) and can help with additional digestive issues. Is taking time to go to the gym something you would consider as well? Your body type sounds cute btw.

No. 105584

File: 1470026487178.jpg (142.56 KB, 1000x718, crying.jpg)

I used a shopping service on an item to avoid paying customs, but the shipping ended up being probably double the customs fees if not more. I know I only have myself to blame for not double-checking everything, but I've been working so hard to stay afloat money-wise that I thought I could splurge on this small item. But now I've wasted so much money! I'm so upset, if I had really known the cost I wouldn't have just spent so much money on shipping alone, I would have bought something affordable and tangible for the money, like food!
I don't understand how shipping cost this much.

No. 105585

I'm 24 and have yet to graduate college because of math. I have no friends. I live with my parents. I want to kill myself.

No. 105586

>>105585
Don't worry anon, I'm in my 2nd year and I'm 23. I've lots of classmates who are 24, one of them is 27 even.

No. 105588

>>105586
Thanks, I feel better now. I guess I put myself down and feel inferior because everyone I know that's my age has already graduated, and some have hinted that I'm a loser because of this. But everyone's got their own path in life.

No. 105589

>>105588
Exactly, I took a 3-year break and all my former friends have already graduated. Apparently some of them have even spread rumours about me getting pregnant and dropping out so nobody even wants to talk to me now. Meanwhile I moved abroad and got into a good school. They're all studying Japanese still, and I like my new major a lot more, so I ended up doing really well even though I waited for so long.

No. 105647

>>105584
What did you buy?
Did you get it sent via EMS? (I'm just going to assume that you bought something from Japan)
I am sure you learned your lesson and will be more careful in the future. We've all spent money on things we regretted later. You will be fine. :)

No. 105703

File: 1470058924152.jpg (107.1 KB, 666x800, flat,800x800,075,f.u1.jpg)

Ended my relationship with my bf today.
I was crying and sent him a lengthy and (ok i admit )a bit cheesy message.
He responded with ''lmao you sound like a neckbeard, ciao''
and then sent me messages like ''lol my phone smells weird''
i was just like ???wtf????
and he was like ''oh soz lol i have low attention span ''

we dated for 3 years
i feel a bit humiliated and i feel bitter that we didnt end it seriously but instead, he made a joke about me and couldnt focus on us just for 5 minutes.

No. 105704

>>105703
I think you made a good choice tbh

No. 105707

>posts photos from the vacation I took last month
>1 like on the whole set overnight
>post artwork
>no likes
>friends post selfies
>ya well everyone's gotta jump right on that because that shit's important

like why do i even bother sharing what i'm up to? nobody cares anyway, and i'll always be the invisible girl.

No. 105713

File: 1470064420839.jpg (39.82 KB, 900x900, angry_pepe.jpg)

>>105703
>>105704
i got so mad i smashed my phone
i hate everything

No. 105714

>>105713
People like that are fucking annoying anon, I was in a band with someone who just couldn't ever focus on anything for more than 5 minutes as well, and had to kick him because it's just not possible to have any sort of serious discussion (let alone writing) with them, which is what you're seeing now.

Though it's possible he's just playing it off like "Oh, I don't care anyway" when he legit does because you're the one who ended things.

No. 105716

>>105707
I feel you, anon. This shit always happens to me.

No. 105719

>>105647
Yeah it was Japan, but amazingly the ss offered to change the shipping to something a bit cheaper for me so I'm not feeling so upset with myself anymore. You are right, I have definitely learnt my lesson!

No. 105720

>>105707
Selfies are an easier subject to 'like' on facebook because all it's doing is reaffirming someone else's confidence and looks. Typically doesn't have much to do with the person liking the photo, and it makes them feel good about giving the 'like' to begin with.

Giving likes to vacation photos, talents, etc. well…it probably makes people, even for just a moment, feel a little inadequate. As if they should be taking the vacations or honing a talent. For that moment 'liking' pictures like that is a bit more difficult. Wasn't there a study about facebook feeds that showed people who spent more time on facebook were more likely to be depressed because essentially they saw the majority of good happening to everyone else?

It's just a theory but I stand by that. I get way more likes on pictures of myself than I do of things I've done and shit I'm working on.

No. 105731

File: 1470084327654.jpg (13.01 KB, 172x232, 1436967604638.jpg)

>everyone in my country has light eyes
>born with ugly dark brown eyes and black hair
>constantly get to hear people fawning over kids with light eyes and black hair (common where I live) as a kid, whilst I got nothing
>my eye colour is uncommon yet still somehow boring
>on top of that fair skin + dark body hair = hairy back, especially around my lower neck and shoulders where everyone can see it
>if I wear anything dark I automatically look like a goth
Thanks, genetics.
There's no makeup to 'make my eyes pop', there's no dye job that will show on my hair, it always looks dull and monotonous. On top of that everyone in my hometown associates black hair with travellers for some reason so I've got that going for me too.

No. 105739

>>105731
There is such thing laser surgery to change the color from brown to blue, if it's important to you anon.

Idk, I don't think blue eyes flatter everybody.

No. 105744

>>105739
Yeah, but it's dangerous and I wear glasses already so I'd rather not fuck with my eyes any more than I already have to.

No. 105756

>>105731
You sound exactly like me. I find that my appearance goes well with my overall demeanor and personality though, and I tend to come off as some weird goth without even trying. I've grown to accept this part of myself and've even embraced it a little.

People like us would look hideous blonde, tbh. It isn't for everybody.

No. 105760

>>105739

Blue eyes are overrated anyway my grandmother has them and yeah they're nice but meh at the most these days

No. 105765

>>105720
>>105716
I really feel like an ass for even wanting people to pay attention to me tbh. It's not just this one photoset people have ignored. I'm just meant to be ignored. I will NEVER be the shining star for anyone ever. It's not just facebook likes. People will say "oh facebook likes aren't everything", but they're usually the people who get a lot of likes on everything they say or do. It's how my brother's always been the performer, and I've always been the quiet kid. How my parents would push him into doing singing and theater just because he could tell a joke, even though he hated it, and even though I wanted to get into it, they decided it just wasn't for me. Or how when my brother and a cousin and I were playing in the park, all the adults were focused on how cute it was that the other 2 were playing together, and no one noticed when i, just wanting to practise tumbling on the grass, finally got that really hard pass i'd been practicing for weeks. It doens't matter what I do. I'm always going to be invisible girl. Even to my boyfriend I feel invisible most of the time. Like if I just faded away no one would even notice tbh.

No. 105771

>>105765
Wanting attention is perfectly normal, anon. It's what you do to get it that matters. Ofc I'm going to shit on some bimbo who sucks dicks on camera for money, blogs about it and calls it progressive feminism. If someone's an overachiever and shills their art a lot (not saying you do, just saying some artists do) I'm not going to mind because I know their monthly income depends on it. I don't even mind Kimonotime or shitty tumblr artists doing it, because they're creating something not totally shitty and visibly putting in effort.
Being ignored doesn't feel good and we shouldn't just settle for being 'the invisible girl'. It's also not fair to have less of a say in certain matters than other people. People throw around the term LOL ATTENTION WHORE a lot but there's a lot of middle ground between people like Sheena (for example) and normal people.

That said, I'm in the same boat. I think a part of it has to do with your confidence, or lack thereof. Maybe your parents ignored you and you just kind of grew to accept it (in my case, mine were too preoccupied with their bitter divorce). Idk what else to say except I feel you 100%, I'd love to know what to do as well. I used to be more assertive in primary school but other kids just shut me out and said i was annoying whilst the girl next door would even get fucking claps for telling the exact same joke.

No. 105773

>>105771
Thank you for understanding.
I hope things are better somewhere for both of us and for anyone else dealing with this.

No. 105839

I just found out that my bf has been buying tokens and paying girls for private shows.
Happy 5 year ananniversary!

No. 105854

>>105707
Art I post on tumblr goes unnoticed because it's not tumblr enough. Maybe I should draw trans Link with leg stubble and a big red nose.

I'm not even a good artist. But I see scribbles way worse then mine with tons of notes. People with all of the talent of a handicapped second grader getting commissions. It's really disheartening. I'm not looking to get paid for half-assed pokemon and Zelda fanart. But it would be nice to get noticed by people who aren't already my friends.

Same with fanfiction. That climate has changed. I imagine I'd get thousands of notes telling me how horrible I am for not headcanoning so and so trans or pairing a character with another character they don't like or is "abusive" in some way.

I don't do selfies. But I think people just want to bolster each others confidence. That's why you see fat girls with bad wardrobe decisions getting fawned over. Maybe the commenters see themselves in that because they look similar and it's like giving themselves a thumbs up too.

No. 105857

>>105839
at least he is paying for his porn, which is rare

No. 105859

>>105707
>post artwork
>no likes

does it really matter? shouldn't you do it for yourself first?

No. 105874

>>105839
I'm hoping you have enough self respect to dump him right?

No. 105882

>>105857
… that makes it even worse anon
At least for the gf, I suppose

No. 105883

>>105857
I agree, it is, but what >>105882 said.

>>105874
Sorry anon, I actually don't. I'm still learning how to function normally since I'm a suicidal fuck that threw away everything, hoping that this will work out.

The funny part is: he doesn't
understand what he did wrong. To him it's - it's not in person, so it's not cheating! He doesn't understand that it's the same as hiring a hooker. I'll try to explain it to him, but I doubt he'll get it. Or he's playing dumb.

No. 106418

>>105859
Yes. It matters. Because if you didn't want people to notice it, you could just not post it. It's not wrong to want validation. Especially when like >>105854 other people that are really popular can post shit art and everyone jumps all over it.

No. 106419

>>105859
Anyway that whole "you shouldn't need anyone" attitude probably looks like bullshit if you've pretty much been invisible your whole life like >>105771 or >>105765 . Sry but what you just said is totally unhelpful and probably makes anon feel even more terrible for wanting to stand out just once.


>>105765

No. 106435

A year later and I still have a morbid curiosity about my ex and his gf. I google her name in every possible combination. I found her family on facebook and their respective jobs. I found her on tripadvisor. I'm trying so hard to find stuff about her or him. But he's very minimal on the internet (unlike me who grazes here and there), and I dunno about her.

I wish I could hack into her account and see pictures, chat messages, posts, etc.

The thing is I wouldn't even "do" anything with the information. I just want to know it.

I'm also struggling af because I'm chubby/fat/curvy/whatever you want and my ex always loved my body and I was like wow, maybe there is something to love after all. And his gf is hella skinny (honestly I'm 100% she used to be/recovering anorexic) and she's athletic so she's really fit, too. We also have similar tastes and such.

Like it hurts enough when your ex you still want has someone else but if they are totally different then it's somewhat comforting for you, but when the other person is like a 2.0 version of yourself then I just want to fling myself off a roof. I'm caught in this paradox of "if I lose weight he won't find me attractive anymore (which is bullshit, I know, I know)" and "if I lose weight he'll think like whoah she looks great" and he'll be used to skinny sex so I won't be far from what he had.


My brain is all sorts of fucked up and honestly I only feel comfortable sharing it here because none of my friends could even understand how these feel. They just don't get the thought process and logic because idk none of them are as fucked up as I am.

No. 106437

>>106435
I went through something like this. Except she was semi instagram famous so it was a lot easier to find shit. She's obviously prettier than me and had better style, big boobs, etc. It made me question if he even liked me and if everything he said was a lie and that was really his type. This shit just makes you so obsessive and I know how crazy it sounds to people irl.

I'm pretty over it at some point it gets boring to obsess about people who don't give a fuck about you and also going outside/exercising helps. I'm sorry you gotta go through that it really is pointless but you just feel like you need to know anyway. I promise you anon it will get boring and time makes everything better. Go for a jog- you will feel way more accomplished than Internet sleuthing. I wish someone told me that

No. 106438

>>106437

thanks anon, it really helps to know that it's not just something in my head, if that makes sense??

I've been looking into starting a martial art, I just wish I had energy after work. I walk about an hour every day so I'm not entirely lazy but when I come home from work at 5 I'm just so crushed I can't even comprehend walking around the neighbourhood, nevermind martial arts. But yeah, it's something I'm working towards. I play Pokemon Go casually just to have something fun to do so maybe take baby steps and try to build up energy.

No. 106442

>>106435
I'm going through this at the moment. I know I should block them both for my own benefit and sanity but I get so curious and in a way I'm just looking for ways to make myself upset.
But hey, the latest batch of stalking I did made me figure out he was definitely cheating on me.

No. 106444

Work story
>inventory was meant to be sent to the insurance guy ages ago
>sos i was supposed to make reports of the inventory today
>oh but guess what inventory from computer doesn't match our last physical inventory we took except for in a couple small categories
>so i've got to fix all that before i can generate a report
>oh god it takes forever
>honestly why do you have me doing this now instead of having me do it 3 weeks ago when instead i was chasing down telephone numbers for everyone whose email has bounced on our mailing list? what is time management? what is life? fffffffff
sometime's there's just no sense of prioritising at my place of employment, and since i'm low on the ladder there's not much i can do about it, which drives me bananas.

No. 106452

>>105883

It's really not like hiring a prostitute. He's not going to give you crabs or get picked up by the cops. If anything it's like buying a playboy or something.

It might hurt your feelings a bit but he probably doesn't really think of it that way.

No. 106464

>>104325
I recommend listening to Grimes' album art angels, or at least the song World Princess part 2. Or Venus Fly. It's given me a new love for pop music, just the pure joy of it.

No. 106468

File: 1470319587085.png (94.9 KB, 237x218, 1467393572128.png)

Been stuck at my house with my family for at least a week and a half now, all the way until the end of August. I've had no motivation to do things because of my depression, my dad bailed out on us for his other girlfriend, my mom is a wreck because of this, and my older brother is pissed. I've been looking after my little brother for a bit now, but hopefully I can start helping out my aunt at her house so I can get out of here. Living the neet life during the summer was a mistake

No. 106469

>>106442

Oh, totally. You know you're gonna hate what you find, and 90% of the time you will, and you feel like shit afterwards but it keeps you going anyway.

I'm sorry you found out about him cheating on you that way. It feels extra slimy when it happens from an indirect manner, even if you'd have every right to clock him if he told you outright.

No. 106471

>finally seek mental help after many years
>get matched up with a therapist I assume can help me
>look her up to see what she specializes in
>life coach, uses terms like self-actualization a lot
>specializes in minorities, LGBT, divorcees
>I'm white, straight and never married
>try her anyway since I'm in need
>she sends me one message at almost midnight HOURS after we were matched
>message her back early, haven't heard shit since

I haven't met this woman and I already want to punch her in the face.

No. 106472

>>106452
He's directly interacting with a naked woman and giving her money in exchange for a type of sexual interaction. If you wouldn't even care if he fucked millions of women so long as they're clean you're free to not care, but she obviously does and is staying with him only because she feels like she can't leave.

No. 106473

>>106472
He probably sees it as just another type of porn, she obviously sees it as something much more personal. It's a gray area and assuming he falls on the same side of the fence as she does can be a fatal mistake.
The best way to go about it would be to pinpoint exactly what she finds offensive about it, particularly how she thinks it's different from regular porn, and confront him directly with a list of those issues.

No. 106474

>>106473
Imo if he really sees nothing wrong with it then that'd be an instant break up because we'd have completely incompatible views. But she most likely won't do anything out of fear of him leaving.

No. 106482

>>106474
They don't have "incompatible views", they have different perspectives. He drew the porn-qualifying line a little further away than she's comfortable with. He didn't rob a liquor store or sleep with somebody else behind her back, this dilemma's open to a lot of interpretation on either side. Stuff like that's completely normal. They can move past it by having a constructive and to-the-point conversation about the issue at hand.

If she sees it as a problem then she should make it clear why exactly she thinks it's offensive and how important the positive resolution of the issue's is to their relationship. He'll probably argue his point, she'll probably argue back, that's how a lot of social progress is made.

No. 106483

>>106482
>Imo
>we'd

As in it'd be an instant break up for me, not you or her. Again you're free to go do whatever you want but your definition of infidelity will not change mine.

>Stuff like that's completely normal.


So is having sex with other people. That doesn't mean it has to be a part of anyone's relationship if they don't want it to be.

Again discussing what she should do is pointless because she already said she wouldn't do anything. Telling someone they're being stupid for feeling like they're being cheated on because "everyone does it" and it means nothing to you isn't going to change how she feels because she isn't you. If she was she wouldn't be saying she felt it was worse.

No one is going on a witch hunt for everyone who watches it or is demanding everyone who knows their bf/husband is doing it break up with them. You're completely free to do whatever you want in your relationship, but saying no one should ever feel uncomfortable or break up because of it is like someone telling you if you even look at another person you're cheating.

No. 106493

Welp…here goes a problem with my bitch neighbors

>my family has a "cat colony"

>it's a thing where you become legally responsible for strays so animal control doesn't have to put as many down. You feed and take care of them.
>the city likes the program and so does my family. everyone ones right? Nope
>neighbors are shitty af. They're mad cause they hate cats.
>They've been keeping a giant dog. They decided to turn it loose cause they don't want it anymore
>we find out it's extremely aggressive. can't really walk down the street without getting attacked.
>dog gets a hold of two cats
>a third one has disappeared
>neighbors do nothing. they detest the cats and don't care that they were in someone else's care
>very heartbroken and angry me

What do now? The neighbors have always been a real problem but their landlord really won't do much as long as they pay their rent. I'm frustrated and worried about the other colony cats.

No. 106494

>>106483
>your definition of infidelity will not change mine.
You don't have to worry about my definition, you have to worry about your partners'.
Does your definition allow hand-holding with other people? What about shoulder rubs? Do you have a firm stance on strip clubs?
Everybody knows the baseline rules of what's universally considered cheating, but odds are your partner will have a slightly different idea as to what exactly constitutes crossing certain boundaries. If you want them to respect and understand your specific definition of cheating then you have to tell them what it is.
>Telling someone they're being stupid for feeling like they're being cheated on
That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying it's stupid to feel you're being cheated on and choose to take absolutely no action on it.

No. 106495

>>106493
Walk down the street with your phone recording video, capture how aggressive the dog is. Call 911 and report a vicious animal, tell them it has killed your cat and the neighbor who owns it encourages it to be vicious towards humans and other animals.

No. 106496

>>106494
>If you want them to respect and understand your specific definition of cheating then you have to tell them what it is.

It was literally the first thing we talked about after getting together in extremely clear words. Do you think I'm OP or something? I thought I made it obvious I'm not.


>That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying it's stupid to feel you're being cheated on and choose to take absolutely no action on it.


I'm the one who told her she had absolutely zero self respect if she stayed. Tbh you sounded a lot like someone who was trying to say that everyone who had any kind of concept of cheating was extremely controlling, hysterical, a prude, and etc. We've had a lot of sjws around lately. If that's not what you were trying to get at then other than that we're on the same page.

No. 106507

>>106495
I agree completely. Tell the cops that the neighbors let a vicious dog loose in the neighborhood, and that it has attacked your cats (from an animal rescue of all places!).

Jesus, don't those neighbors think that the dog might attack a fucking kid or something?

No. 106511

>>106495
>>106507
So far the dog has gone for two kids and the mail lady. The mail lady maced it and ripped into the neighbors about it and the kids happened to be getting in a car so their mom could take them to school so they could shut the door on the thing. Despite knowing this, the owners won't do a damn thing.

They deny they own the dog but the whole neighborhood knows. Besides, the law says they are legally responsible for the dog since they've taken care of it for a certain amount of days. So they're still stuck with the dog either way.

I'll look into contacting cops. Given that it has tried going after children, they should come get it. I've been going outside every now and then to check on the cats while watching for the dog. No more have disappeared so far but that dog…just eugh. It's gotta go.

No. 106513

>>106511
If the dog is just roaming around can't you call animal control?

No. 106514

>>106513
Some neighbors have done that already. The dog remains in the neighbor's yard until it finds someone it wants to jump. I'm not sure if that counts as just roaming but because it's outside without a leash and leaving the yard to attack that hopefully counts for something.

No. 106527

>>106514

Catch it, take off the collar, and drop it off at an animal shelter 6 hours away. Tell no one, ever. Problem solved. It's nota pet if your neighbors don't give twoshits about it. You can borrow dog traps from an animal shelter.

No. 106536

>dad drives mum to doctor's
>comes home
>immediately snapping at me as he walks through the door
>try not to say anything back because it'll escalate
>leaves to pick her up
>comes back a few minutes later
>says 'your mum is missing' like he's annoyed and starts counting spare change
>what the fuck???
>'I looked around and she wasn't there
>how long did you wait then?
>'10 minutes?'
>why didn't you wait longer?
>'I came home to tell you'
>why didn't you just call me then??? how do you expect her to get home then??? she has no money, no phone, and doesn't know how to use public transport
>he just shrugs and keeps counting change

I repeatedly asked him if he was joking because he was being so casual about it, like my mum wasn't fucking wondering around somewhere with no ability to get home by herself. Not only did he not seem to care, but he seemed ANNOYED. He wasn't joking. I don't even know what to fucking say, just what the fuck? Why would you not wait longer or look around more? I don't understand him at all, I really don't.

I ended up driving there myself to look because I'm the only one that actually still gives a shit in my family, apparently. She's fine, thank god.

No. 106668

>>106536
Is your dad always terrible like that or was that just a one time occurrence?

No. 106686

File: 1470465109684.gif (857.85 KB, 442x338, giphy.gif)

Had an amazing week with the BF, and I dropped him off at the airport so now we are officially long distance until the middle of November until i can move back in with him and it just sucks ass so much. Whats even worse is that i kind of snapped at him last night over something really small and even though i apologized and he didn't seem bothered by it anymore, idk now i'm just overthining everything and miss all of the time i spent with him and wish i could just have him back for the night. sleeping alone tonight is going to be painful ugh. Whats worse is that all these stupid things keep reminding me of him, like the cup he used at breakfast, or the towel he used for his shower this morning

No. 106698

I'm so mad at my family and their inability to handle finances right. Like tears in my eyes mad because they're so frustrating. So we're quite a low income family, so brands and the house has so many things wrong with itm they recently tried to get a loan and were declined.

But for my brother's 16th birthday they got him a racing bike. He doesn't want it, he has a regular bike that he likes to ride, but a fancy bike is too much for him. I backed him up with telling our mum that he didn't want it, and they should return it. She got so annoyed with us and was like "well then I'll never buy you two presents again!" when I tried explaining to her that you shouldn't buy extravagant things for someone without their consultation when they expressed no interest. Now we've found out that they're paying £50 monthly for it and it's worth about £500. It's just such an awkward situation that I can relate all too much to. They bought me a £35 a month contract phone when I was asbout my brother's age. It was a shitty phone, you didn't get much for what you paid and I had no fucking friends to use it with anyway. Just an absolute waste of money, but I pretended it was all good despite the fact I'd have been able to get by on £5 credit a month.

Like NO WONDER they're so financially shitty. If they managed their money a little better we'd be OK. But instead they get these pricey things and the guilt is on us to pretend that it was totally worth their sacrifice and not look like the world's most ungrateful brats.

No. 106699

>>106698
Are you able to establish and form of financial independence? You can't unfortunately change your mother's frivolous spending but you are still right to voice how it makes you feel.

No. 106705

I thought moving in with my boyfriend would give me some time to take a break from working and and focus on myself(I started working at 16)
But now I'm stuck in another country where I can't work, I've got $30 in my bank account and the only thing of value I own is my cell phone
I'm freaking out about money all the time because I pay for my younger brothers phone bill back in the States and my mom has screwed me over financially in the US.
I can't complain about anything or else my boyfriend will get his feelings hurt and I'm being ungrateful

No. 106707

>>106686
i getcha anon. LDR sucks sometimes, but the person makes it worth it, and I wonder if this is what my BF feels every time I leave. It's frustrating. We've been together almost 3 years, but most of that time in different countries, and I try to visit as much as I can but it costs a bloody fortune. He just finished uni and is trying to find work. I'm trying to find a job there too, but UK immigration sucks when you're not already from Europe, sos having 2 degrees don't mean shit rly. We don't even get to skype much because different time zones and I'm at work all the time. But when we do we're on the thing for like 3 hours, and that helps. Sending each other photos, or even just little messages when we know the other isn't around is nice too. Or tagging each other in funny things on facebook so the other can come home to it/wake up to it. All that helps a bit. Like even if you're not actually together and can't even talk much, it's like he's still there, ya know? I would totally understand if you wanted to use that cup he drank out of this morning every day tbh, and I hope things work out for you. x

No. 106720

>>106705
Why did you move lol

No. 106721

>>106720

Cuz I didn't have a place to live in the US

No. 106724

>>106721
Surely it would have been easier to rent a flat back in the USA than migrate to another country? If it's in the uk then you would have to have shown you could support yourself or have a partner support you surely which isn't exactly easy for a young adult.

No. 106725

>>106724
My spidey senses tell me it's Australia

No. 106729

Some tumblrtard has been shitting up /snow/ for weeks and it's so obvious that they have no idea how board culture works. They've threatened to ween and iirc actually have, plus trying to "call out" people in threads for making ~problematic~ jokes and getting OT.

I wouldn't even care that much but the way they type and use tumblr speak is so obvious and obnoxious - like they posted this earlier: "why are literally all people on lolcow so unfriendly lmao (not the anon you responded to)". If you're going to be here, at least make an effort to talk normally like everyone else.

I just want tumblrinas and summerfags to stop shitting up our board.

No. 106735

>>106699
Oh I've got my job, and savings and everything. It's just frustrating watching your grown ass parents fuck themselves over and sticking their fingers in their ears when given constructive criticism. At least my brother's learning from their mistakes like I did.

No. 106738

It isn't even an important vent but Im sick of being told to watch fucking Stevens Universe by my online friends and rl friend.

It doesnt even look that good, I tried watching two minutes of it and I got bored. Why is it so good?

I don't see the appeal at all

No. 106745

>>106738
It turns into incredibly satisfying American anime. If you liked Sailor Moon as a kid, give it another chance, it really does get better.

No. 106752

>>106738
first few episodes are awkward but it's really good just don't look into the fandom

No. 106753

>>106724

You'd think so but unfortunately apartments near my job were too expensive and the only ones I could afford where in the middle of bum fuck nowhere and not available.
The only reasonable places I found either wouldn't rent to me because I had no renting history or wanted $1000 for just the application fees and deposits.
No one on Craig's list would respond to my emails and everyone my age had a comfortable home life and didn't have a reason to move out of their parents house.

No. 106755

>>106724

I'm here with my long term boyfriend who just graduated from uni. I'm here on a tourist visa right now until we find something permanent.

No. 106768

>>106753
Surely you can find a place to rent in another state? It's the fucking USA. The UK is overpopulated and rent is sky high as is, I just can't believe it's easier to find a flat here than the States.

No. 106779

I am so depressed I can't function. I don't even take out the trash or clean, really fucking bad. I'm tired of being given medication for who I am as a person. I don't feel real and I don't know what's wrong with me

No. 106782

>>106724
>If it's in the uk then you would have to have shown you could support yourself or have a partner support you
There's a bit more to it than that, anon. Even highly skilled jobs that employers are having difficulty filling home office can just say "nope" to letting someone from elsewhere get a visa to actually get the job done.
(I'm one of the LDR anons btw… but yeah I won't be moving over there unless I get a job because the idea of going somewhere with no way of supporting onesself seems stupid tbh.)

No. 106807

I have an extreme phobia of having a seizure fam.

Ever since I started SSRIs and another drug for my depression/anxiety I know my brain is being rewired. I'm fully aware of what the side effects are, and if(when) I develop a tolerance to these drugs and up the dosage, the probability increases. With every single speck of aura, or a "rolling" sensation on top of my head I fully prepare to collapse and wake up potato like PT at bathtime. It never comes though, to my knowledge. I've read accounts of people who seize often and they say they don't remember the episode or that it doesn't hurt them, but with others it does and they're fully cognitive during it.

The concept completely horrifies me, as I believe if a brain is damaged the person will objectively not be the person they were before. All of who we are is our brain.

No. 106899

File: 1470634028593.jpeg (18.56 KB, 196x197, image.jpeg)

I don't know what wrong with me. I used to have great self confidence but now I look at myself in the mirror and just see ugly. When other people tell me I'm pretty I just can't believe them.

My confidence was like all I had and now I just feel like shit. I apply to jobs everyday and get rejected from all of them for being inexperienced, but I can't get experience if I have no job.
I hate the course I'm doing, the only friends I have are ones that I don't see at school, I fucking hate my eyelids and I want double eyelid surgery so much, and not to mention I'm poor as shit, and my family isn't doing to well either.

I don't like to talk about it to people because I don't want to be attention seeking, but life really doesn't seem worth it if it's going to be this hard all the time. I'm a lazy shit and my only talents are useless ones, but I have high standards and I'm materialistic.

I just want to die, honestly, if it means I don't have to bother.

No. 107061

I hate college. So much. I really don't even want to go but I'm expected to and I'm pretty sure I'll end up with dead end job at a fast food restaraunt if I don't.

The college is one big hugbox where if you even remotely hurt someone's feelings they tell some type of "safespace" organization about you and they come to talk to you about it until you promise to never say anything offensive again. How do some of these students function when people disagree with them? They act like everyone is supposed to hold hands and just love one another constantly.

My tuition is covered by a scholarship so I don't have to worry about debt or anything but…sometimes I wonder if I'm even ready to be in a university. I know that if I get a degree then I at least have a better chance at getting a job that pays above minimum wage.

No. 107073

>>107061
What did you get in trouble for saying?

No. 107074

>>107061
You're more ready for university than the safespace people, that's for sure.
TBH tho if some organisation decided to grand you a scholarship for university, you're probably ready to be there. It's not like they just hand money out to everyone.

No. 107075

>>107074
I agree with you Anon, also they need to realise that Uni is so lax and chill compared to college. I hated college so so much, uni is heaven compared.

No. 107081

>>107073
I personally didn't get in touble but I've heard about other people who have. On the tours they give new students they showed us the safespace place to us and explained what they do some months back. It's like a bunch of tumblrinas founded the thing. I sat there and thought "what the actual fuck? This is real life, why are you guys this sensitive?" I wish I could test the waters and say something offensive but who knows how far they'll escalate it cause they address professors for having different opinions too.

>>107074
The whole experience is new to me. I'm used to a giant city and now it's somewhere small compared to where I grew up so i don't know anyone at all(i assume that will change really fast tho).

I know what I want to study and all that I just don't wanna be one of those people who waste scholarship money by dropping out. Someone gave me that money to go to school, not dick around and quit. The people who gave me the scholarship probably know I won't quit but sometimes I feel like that's what will happen.

>>107075

Maybe i need time to adjust to everything. I always hear that uni sucks at first but gets better once you're used to it and have a friend or two. Was it tough for at first Anon or did you adjust pretty quick?

No. 107146

>Have a good friend, a familyman in an open relationship, who's got about 9 years left to live (life threatening disease stuff)
>Had a casual thing with him last year, but he disappeared from my life for 3 months due to a busy work schedule
>During these months, a mutual friend (girl he'd previously done stuff with) went nuts due to jealousy issues, could fill out 50 A4 pages with this shit incident
>Managed to partially convince me that he didn't give two fucks about me and only acted friendly so I'd suck his dick
>3 months later, we started talking again, girl had left both of our lives right at the start of his absence, he had no idea what had happened
>He started getting distant after this, never responded when I told him I missed him, never really reacted when I told him I was still kind of messed up from the things that girl told me (never went into details other than telling him I really just wanted to see him again)
>6 months later (2 weeks ago), we were supposed to share a room at a convention
>He had to bail because he'd quit his job and started up a business, so he was busy training his employees
>Upset since I was still dealing with the above confusion and emotional issues after the incident last year, and because I miss spending time with him
>Met mutual friend at con who tells me he didn't quit any job and was just making excuses, so I snapped
>Got in contact with him and flipped out cause I don't like being lied to, I was angry and sad and very worried that he had actually just been playing a cruel joke on me and since then lost interest

Here's where the guilty feels come in
>He did quit his job, he's just closed off and doesn't give his full job details to anyone. I'm one of the few people he'd given his previous job deets to.
>The jealous girl from last year had gotten him banned from a ton of his hobby communities and fucked up a lot of his personal life as a way of taking revenge cause he rejected her
>Was too busy being crushed that he'd lost a lot of aspects of his life to really have the energy to listen to the crap the girl had put me through as well
>He's distant because he probably won't live to see his kid become an adult, and stressed because of work
>He always assumed that all the times I told him I missed him, that I was just talking about his dick, and not him
>Promised to be more considerate to me now that he realised I genuinely care
>Gave me a massive apology and wouldn't accept my "fuck I'm a piece of shit" response

And finally
>He is considering proposing to his girlfriend and no longer have an open relationship
>Super happy for him and really hope he'll do so as he deserves to settle down and enjoy what's left with the people he loves, even if it means I'm not a part of it
>It probably means I won't ever see him again
>He doesn't want to go to cons anymore, I suspect it's due to the drama the jealous girl caused has just put him off
>We live far away from each other and don't have room to house each other in case of a visit, so we only hang out together in hotel rooms which will look sketch af once he's married

I probably deserve losing one of the best friends I've ever had, cause my god I am such a horrible idiot.

Here's a nice bonus though
>Saw the jealous girl at the con he and I were supposed to have shared rooms at
>She's gotten fat as fuck since the last time we saw her, was walking around in a skimpy outfit with cellulite spilling out everywhere
>She was alone 50% of the time I saw her that weekend (as she's lost a lot of friends over her bullshit attitude), other 50% of the time she was hanging with her asshole beta boyfriend and creepy beta brolita friend who wants to fuck her, she was looking miserable every time I saw her
Karma's a bitch ain't it.

No. 107162

File: 1470851387955.jpg (47.93 KB, 480x480, 3478754985.jpg)

>>107146
>one girl he had sexual relations with got angry bc apparently he didn't make it clear enough that he was not planning on being monogamous w/ her
She's clearly angry with him. Maybe the reason why she sent you that warning was because that is frankly the way he made her feel. What kind of man makes a woman feel that way if he's an open communicator and has his bases covered?
I don't see how a terminal illness should grant him permissions to be a dick.
>he intermittently talks to you while abandoning you months at a time
Not a good friend to you. You are the standby girl.
>mutual friend tells you that you were lied to by this guy
It's his word against theirs. You only know what he tells you and it seems to me that the first girl's "lies" wouldn't hold much clout with other members in the hobby community–unless those people had evidence to believe he was in fact deserving of the bans. I mean the girl herself doesn't have allies that powerful, right? Since she's alone 50% of the time.
>He's distant because he probably won't live to see his kid become an adult
Doesn't make any sense. Unless he just wants to look like the "family man" and can't have his mistresses around much anymore. Would surely confuse his kid.
>I told him I missed him, that I was just talking about his dick
Omg don't believe this lie!
>we can only hang out together in hotel rooms
Anon no…

>you tell him you miss him

>you say you're a piece of shit though you've done nothing wrong
>you say you deserve losing friends
>you say you're an idiot
>you say you're guilty
Anon you don't deserve assholes for friends. You're a genuine person that deserves friends who can at least be assed to send you a message a few times a week. You care about others even if they're not perfect, but it doesn't mean you deserve to get abuse in return. Get some self-respect. Dude's an ass and not the person you thought he was. He doesn't deserve YOU.

No. 107169

>>107162
>>107162
Thank you for the response anon <3 I did have a feeling I'd probably get a "dump his ass" type of reply as the situation is a lot more complex than what I wrote down, but I appreciate it.
He is honestly a good and honest guy who has helped me with a ton of issues I've got, has provided me with legit proof (some that I'd like to forget) of some of his claims - For example when he was gone for 3 months. Going into details will make this post unnecessarily long, but he had his reasons, and it was very much out of his control sadly.
And the girl from last year is 100% confirmed crazy and was openly jealous of the friendship I had with the guy (We're talking lolcow levels of nuts).
We've all got issues, the guy and myself are both self destructive and cope with it each our way, the girl has a big victim complex and will go dangerously low in order to get sympathy.

Again, I could fill 50 A4 pages with everything that's happened over the last year between the three of us (technically 4 since the girl pulled the exact same shit on the next person she hooked up with after they dumped her a month later).
Actually had written out an absolutely massive wall of text that detailed just a little bit of everything, but man, it's just way too much. I feel slightly embarrassed for posting now since I can agree he sounds like an ass when most of the story is summarised into multiple single sentences.

Should also mention that things have been a lot better between the guy and myself since I snapped at him. One of his coping methods is just him being an asshole to avoid getting hurt any further, but since he realised I was actually serious with him and not just flirting, he has gotten a lot more considerate towards me. I'll continue to care about him and root on him from the sidelines and hope that myself and our mutual friends can convince him to be social again once he's settled down.
I know I shouldn't feel guilty, but I just don't have the self-worth to be able to let go whenever I get mad at my friends even after we've sorted it out. It feels nice to have other people besides him tell me to not feel awful about it. Thank you.

No. 107206

>>107169
I agree with >>107162 . He was not a good and honest guy if he's been stringing you along like this. TBH he sounds a bit like a narcissist. Stop calling him a good and honest guy when you've documented already that he's not. Just because he "helped" you through a few issues don't mean shit. Some guys really like helping out so they can look like the saviour because those not in the know will believe the sun shines out his ass, and so that anyone they did fuck over (like you and the "crazy" mutual friend) will have their sides of the story discounted.
Having you snap at him like you were done and reeling you back in is another NPD thing. He'll wear you down like he did the mutual friend and keep spreading shit to make you look crazy when you actually do call him out and bounce if you don't do it now, and that's if he's not already doing it.
Just let him go be a douche somewhere else.

No. 107208

Ugh what is it about summer that brings out the shittiest drivers?
So uh I start my workday late and miss the morning commute (because LOL morning joint stiffness lol), but when I've gotten out on the road it's all elderlies and unemployed dudes with power trip issues and stoners. Sos having to beep repeatedly at people after the light's turned green (one last week I could smell weed from his car would slow down at EVERY stoplight even if it was green, and at red lights turning green i had to beep repeatedly and creep up on his ass before he would fucking go), people who drive 20mph in a 30 zone but suddenly when you're trying to get past them can drive faster, people pulling way too far onto the main road out of side streets but not actually going anywhere so you've got to swerve around them, and just… everyone on the road is stupid. Oh yeah and minivan drivers are usually tailgating assholes even if I'm going 10 faster than the speed limit. Like wtf… gotta hurry up and get your kids to soccer practice i guess but gosh they're the worst.
Also pedestrians now are retarded but maybe that's because I'm driving in really hood places. When they cross against signal and just stare you down while doing it, or wander out into the middle of the road like cattle and walk slow af… I kind of want to rev my engine at these people to see if that will make them clear out faster, but with how often people do it I'd be wasting a fuckton of gas.
I like my job and I like that they've been willing to be flexible with my schedule, but I come from really far away and I'm thinking I might need to look for work closer to home, because my commute everyday is bullshit tbh.

No. 107248

>>107146
off topic but why do people in the com community seem really crazy?

idk you need to get away from the guy i guess. seriously look at what you've typed. it makes you all look crazy

No. 107264

I've been off antidepressants for a bit over a year now and I'm starting to get horny again, which I'm thankful for. The problem is all I can think about is sex. I can't go out without thinking about fucking. It's especially jarring because I went so long without having a libido of any kind only for it to come back very suddenly and intensely. I have some compulsions to act on them and plenty of opportunities to do so but the last time I had sex was so tremendously awkward and embarrassing.
On top of that, I'm afraid that being sexually inexperienced for my age (23) is a complete turn off and will only make any new experiences awkward as fuck. Idk, I'm terrified of being shitty in bed so I don't have sex, but my sex drive is getting really hard to ignore.

Kinda wish I could go back to being a sexless blob now.

No. 107269

Is it fucked up that I want to teach in SK not because I want to be a teacher, but because I'll get to travel around a new country once in a while (South Korea itself and the residing countries)?

Has anyone taught abroad? I have to wait 2 years from now, when I'm 27, to do so though. I feel that's old ass hell for some reason and it's one of the only things making me apprehensive about following this whole plan.

No. 107281

>>107269
Not at all, it's why at least 50% of JET teachers apply

No. 107294

I'm 26 and just left my hometown and all I want to do is go back. I don't have parents just one elderly grandmother and I left her behind because there was no opportunity in our town and I cant stop crying because I'm both regretful and pathetic.

No. 107298

>>107264
Have you spoken to your doctor about it? If you're getting sexual desires that bother you day to day and it's been a year since you've been on any medication, it's not likely to be related.

Unless you just mean you're not used to having sexual desire so it's weird or something like that.

No. 107334

I feel ungrateful.
My relationship with my dad is rocky because of overprotection, him limiting me and not letting me be independent, as he says, until I have a husband to escort me everywhere in place of my parents.
I'm moving out in September and haven't told him yet.
Imagining his reaction, i started thinking of all the good things he's done and the sacrifices I'd heard my dad had made for his children, and how he's going to feel when I tell him I'm rejecting his ways by moving out.
And I was going through my phone and watched the happy birthday video my dad had sent me again and I feel bad about how little effort I put in to appreciating my dad and how this might affect him next month. At the same time I remember the reasons I'm moving out and I don't know how to think clearly.
I'm just rambling but I'm confused and having conflicting thoughts.

Moving out is definitely happening, I've paid. But I'm scared of doing such a big thing. Its going to cause a whole scandal. I don't want to ruin family relationships, and even though it doesn't seem like I have much of one with my dad I don't want him to disown me. He's going to think I hate him.
Maybe it won't turn out that bad when the time comes next month, but while trying to prepare myself for this I have become scared.

No. 107348

File: 1471057663598.jpg (20.53 KB, 240x234, 23730816044_0581a59424_m.jpg)

This is so petty, but my jimmies were rustled at work this morning. A woman in my office got her hair colored "silver" last night, except she was complaining about it because it was a more blue-grey than the silver she wanted. So I asked what the stylist did, seeing as how I had silver hair myself for over a year and went through various shades of it because I mostly did it myself outside of an initial salon bleaching, so I could give her tips to get it the color she wanted (pic attached was what I believe she showed me; hers was, however, some weird blue grey/brown ombre? and in some areas it was swampy-looking. Overall, not the best.)

Basically what her stylist did was strip her hair (which was originally a red-brown) and I think simultaneously dyed it the grey and brown together? And she still had red/brown tones left in her hair from the stripping? Like, that should be clue one that it won't turn out how you want. I told her that it probably was not lifted enough and that they should have used a violet shade instead one in the blue range, but after she washed it would potentially fade to what she wanted. She said they used purple and it turned her hair purple, so I rephrased and said a cooling violet toner to which she says that is what they used (after first saying it was a dye) made her turn purple, which I am going to hardcore doubt because I've left that shit on for an hour and yeah there was a tint to it, but it wasn't full-blown purple. I was confused about the overall process but it sounded an awful lot like both her and the stylist didn't have a firm grasp on what they were doing.

She also said that if it was going to be a lot of work and fade out easily she'd dye over it, to which I almost laughed in her face because silver tends to fade like a fucker, even with toning shampoos. I don't think she researched anything regarding upkeep and the like for it. My favorite part was, however, that after she had left the room my supervisor commented on how she was lucky it didn't just turn her hair green with how many red tones were left in it.

The kicker overall, however, was that she got it redyed to full-on brown over her lunch hour because she was so unhappy with it and wouldn't listen to either my advice (which, yeah, sure. Understandable. I'm the youngest person there and she has a tendency to think she knows better) or anyone else in the office to wash it out a few times and see if she liked it then. Maybe even keep it for the weekend. She literally did not have the silver for 24 hours. I'm honestly curious as to how much money she wasted on this.

But, like, there's a strong part of me that wants to fully re-grey my hair again (it's currently ashy blonde with, surprise surprise–subtle grey/silver streaks so it's more ash than blonde… so it wouldn't be too hard) just to show her that I know what I'm talking about.

(My god, that was a ramble. Sorry about that.)

No. 107350

>>107334
You're in a difficult position. I have no advice for you, but wanted to let you know that I wish you the best.

>>107348
I can't believe she couldn't even deal with it for a day before altering it. If anything, I would've expected her to go elsewhere and have them make it more silver rather than going back to brown.

No. 107353

>>107348
Haha oh no! I know this feeling all to well, women who don't do a lick of research before going for a huge hair change & then throw tantrum like fits after when it did't turn out like they wanted. I was silver for a while, but got tired of the constant upkeep, and also the damage, my hairdresser had to lift me to a 9 before we could tone it. Your coworker sounds like a child, lol.

No. 107354

I fucking hate armchair psychologists on this site.
>Well I read in a magazine that X have Y symptoms so this lolcow must be autistic/bipolar/something
>she's exhibiting signs of Y symptom even though I've never met a person with the disease and am not able to compare how they actually act with how this cow acts
>I have [self-diagnosed bullshit]
>my bf is EMOTIONALLY ABUUUSIVE
>mental illness mental illness mental illness

Holy shit it's like Tumblr without the SJW identity politics. Sometimes an asshole is just an asshole. Sometimes a crazy person is a crazy person but it could be literally anything until you actually get to talk to them irl and see how they actually act. Jfc this shit pisses me off so much.

No. 107360

It sucks that people who were so close to you they wouldn't just finish your sentence, they knew what your sentence would be, are now just basically strangers and you feel so awkward talking to them.

Unrelated to that it was my birthday yesterday and I know it sounds pathetic but I always wished that one day I'd have the type of friends who would have a surprise outing for me or would say "yeah let's go out and celebrate!!!!" like it doesn't have to be about gifts, just the gesture. And I turned 26 and I still don't have them. One year nobody at all apart from very immediate family wished me happy birthday.

Are those friends just myths? The friend group that all pool cash to buy you a concert ticket because you're going through stuff or it's your bday? The friend that shows up at your door with chocolate and food to comfort you or just because they wanna hang out? The friend that will go out of their way to show you that they care for you? or the one that considers you a best friend, not just you thinking of them that way, but a mutual feeling.

Like I feel that if I died tomorrow my friends would be mildly upset but everyone's world would just keep turning anyway and I wouldn't matter to anyone.

No. 107368

File: 1471090968302.jpg (115.33 KB, 960x831, 1e7m4bG.jpg)

Anons, how do you "help" your clingy boyfriend / girlfriend / significant other?
My boyfriend has serious attachment problems, just like, anxiety from being alone.
I love him and he's a great person, but I got up at 2 AM to smoke a cigarette last night and he woke up with me! I take a day off, he'll take the same day off!
It's driving me crazy, I just want to be left alone for an hour. I get that at work, but I want to go home and be alone sometimes.

How would I approach this? cause I feel like if I bring it up in any fashion he's going to get upset.

No. 107369

>>107368

I think there is no way to not make him upset, you just have to be open about needing some alone time. He needs to understand that.

No. 107372

Lately my husband and I don't have much time together. Yesterday he went drinking with co-workers, today he is out with those people as well, and I'm just pissed about it. I feel so rejected. I know I am totally working with a double standard here, because I've done similar stuff before, but uuugh.

No. 107374

>>107360
I think those friends are probably a myth, I duno. I've had birthdays where no one was there, or where I would plan a thing on my own and no one would show up. It double sucks when you're the person who will go out of your way to show people you care, like everyone just takes you for granted.
Happy birthday, Anon. Hopefully this year will be the year you find some better friends.

No. 107375

>>107360
Happy birthday, Anon. <3

I thought that I had a group of friends like you described wanting, but since we've mostly all graduated college over the past year (except for two that are dating, and then two others that are going on to pursue a PhD farther away.) it seems that I'm the one who has to go "hey, wanna hang out/Catch some Pokemon/see a movie/grab dinner and drinks" to the ones of us who are still nearby and it sucks. Like, I didn't ever think I'd be -that- person in a friend group that would try and organize shit so we're still together, but I am.

No. 107379

File: 1471103795875.jpg (11.78 KB, 275x275, 1461173522656.jpg)

>>107368
oh my god this is me I need time to myself and my partner can never be alone!

I've brought it up so many times but he just gets really upset. You start to feel like you've lost a part of yourself. I actually would prefer to perhaps even live in separate places but he couldn't stand it.

my mum's like 'love is a sacrifice and commitment'

No. 107397

I had no idea quitting smoking would be this shitty… I've felt sick for days, feels like the first stages of the flu. My throat is like an open sore, i'm super depressed, unmotivated, tired and dizzy. Luckily the last thing i want rn is a cigarette, but these weird side effects will be the end of me i swear. Everyone is always telling you how wonderful and healthy you'll feel after quitting, but this feels 10x worse than smoking half a pack a day ffs.

No. 107404

>>107397
Stick with it, anon! Sounds like you're doing good so far dealing with feeling shitty. After that part's over, you might feel healthier/better and you might not. Some people never lose the craving.

No. 107407

File: 1471129544265.jpg (22.96 KB, 480x270, tfw.jpg)

There was a gay pride parade in my town today, and a really close friend of mine asked me to come because she had noone to go there with. I declined. She did go there with someone else, however, so i didn't feel guilty or anything. But… When my friend got back home and messaged me, it came out she went with a former best friend of mine who was spreading rumors about me lately; she doesn't know about that, though. It didn't help at all that another close friend of mine was hanging out with my former best friend when she got there. I hoped that I could introduce them (close friends) to each other soon, but - nope.

I feel horrible and replaced, even though I don't get easily jealous - but the close friend, the first one, said the three of them had a blast, so this really hurts. I can't discuss it with anyone I know because they would come to the very conclusion that I'm a petty dumbass. I have a reputation of a pretty chill person, and I definitely don't want to ruin that.

Perhaps they would be right to call me out, though.

No. 107409

>>107379
Reading that just makes me even more afraid. I don't want it to get to that point. Damn.

No. 107419

>>107350
Thank you anon <3

No. 107422

Its my 20th bday today and i will be spending it alone in my bed, probably crying
I was supposed to spend it with my ex(big mistake) and this plan fell through
And now im alone
Happy bday to me

No. 107425

is there cheap alternative to typical psychiatry? like talking to student in the field for free or very low cost?

I want to use it to help myself in addition to know what to look for in an experienced psychiatrist without relying on an online review from 2 years ago.

No. 107442

>>107422
why you crying?

chill out, masturbate, go in the garden

No. 107443

>>107409
your situation sounds identical from what you posted

No. 107449

>>107281
>>107269

Nah

Why do you think weebs apply for JET? They either want to travel, marry for visa or find fame in nippon

lets just be honest

No. 107450

Sometimes I just feel a bit miserable with the world. But life in general at the most right now because it always feels lonely.

I hate the age group of 20-29 right now because everyone is just interested in either looking like an IG model, money, money, drinking.

Life just feels lonely. It's like even online… meeting people these days is tasteless and I can never connect with anyone. It's like no one is interested in people anymore just themselves or what they can gain.

Maybe its just me idk.

No. 107452

>>107450
I feel the same way. Everyone I know just wants to party or work (so they can get money to party abroad)
Maybe I'm just autistic, idk. I like walking in nature, going to cute cafes and taking pictures, doing crafts etc, but everyone else looks at me like I'm in creche because 'ew, crafts are for kids lol'.

No. 107455

>>107452
Nah I do a lot of crafts and nature stuff too. More likely to buy more houseplants than makeup etc. But at the same time I do like working and having money, sos I can travel abroad and do more nature stuff abroad (mostly travel to visit my boyfriend and family tho tbh).
But yeah partying all the time when off work and looking like an IG hoe is just… i don't get it tbh. Too many people just seem so fucking basic rn, which is fine, w/e, until they shit all over your interests.
I blame the Kardashians. It's their aesthetic that everyone's trying to conform to anyway.

No. 107466

File: 1471200794010.jpeg (132.82 KB, 1282x809, image.jpeg)

I feel like all of my luck has run out. I just feel like such shit all the time due to my poor diet, and my poor diet is due to me being broke as fuck. I have no idea what I want to do in the future and whenever I come up with a possible path my friends just shoot me down. Every job rejects me, I have no real qualifications, no one to really vent to without annoying them, and I just feel so useless.

I turned 18 not too long ago, but if my life is going to continue to be like this and I end up like my parents, I would rather die now to avoid it. No one seems to ever believe in me and try to encourage me to do anything, I'm starting to believe I really am borderline retarded at this point

No. 107470

File: 1471207341713.gif (803.73 KB, 500x715, 1461226917276.gif)

>>107450
>Everyone I know just wants to party or work (so they can get money to party abroad)
oh my god life

No. 107471

>>107470

yeah that img is basically me all the time. This constant realisation of nothingness mattering?

Eh. I don't know how much of it is healthy perspective and how much is my mental illness trying to cut me off from the world.

No. 107472

>>107470
samefag
>>107450
>>107452
I feel the same.

I used to be obsessed with being popular and how I looked especially online, tried to really present an image. Now I'm the total opposite, I never post anything online, I'm terrified of life feeling superficial. I read loads of philosophy at university which i think contributed to feeling like this…all I do is deconstruct things.

>>107466
>I turned 18 not too long ago
srsly you are so young please enjoy your life or you'll wake up 24 wondering why you've wasted the last 6 years being sad like me

No. 107473

>>107471
>>107470
Yep.
I envy my classmates with long-term friendships, steady jobs, trips to London every month, posting pictures from Switzerland and Croatia (#blessed), etc etc.

I got fired twice this summer (first was a 'training period' scam where they have candidates lined up and have each of them working unpaid for a week and then fire them when they get the next in line, second was a very physical job that I just couldn't do), my nan died 2 weeks ago but I feel stupid complaining about it, everyone got to see their parents this summer except me because I'm poor.
I spent my holiday foraging around a nearby forest and taking pictures of plants at 5AM because I'd fuck all else to do. I wanted to go rockhounding with my bf but he only wants to sit inside and I can't drive so I can't go anywhere by myself (I live in God's Arsehole, population: 5). My only friend is working non stop. The friends I used to have are all busy so I stopped bothering. One girl in particular seems to be avoiding me as much as possible so I stopped contacting her.

I've never been and never will be normal.
As a child we moved around all the time and I was heavily bullied in primary school for being from a certain social class so I never had the pleasure of making friends for life. Even my parents have a more vivid social life than me. I might as well not exist at all.

No. 107483

>>107334
Is it a cultural thing anon?
I'm somewhat similar with the overprotective dad, but I moved out at 21 and I made my views clear on wanting to leave earlier, so I always threatened it until one day I lived up to it.
Well, good luck either way. The sense of freedom once you do move is amazing.

No. 107505

>>107483
Yes, it's mostly a cultural thing from my dad's country, which forbids girls from moving away from family or being alone until they're married themselves. Then it's the shame of that rejection, and what my dad's friends will think, which he says will make him want to die. After that it's actual worries about the dangers of me living indepently.

When I expressed wanting to move out my dad said if I rejected his culture I would lose him as a parent, and that scares me. I don't want to upset him after all his efforts as a parent. But at the same time I want that freedom, like you said, and I ultimately don't want to be a part of my dad's culture.
It's nice to hear that it worked out for you, how did your dad react?

Thank you for your kind words

No. 107511

>>107473
Wow anon, you're the only other person I've noticed that rockhounds or forages (though I do it for my pets). I also can't drive so it makes life difficult/suck sometimes, especially since there's an awesome place just an hour away with tons of fossils ripe for the taking…it hurts.

No. 107534

>>107404
Sorry for the belated response, i'm doing a lot better now, it gets easier by the day, thanks for keeping me motivated!

No. 107538

I'm going to the movies tomorrow with a guy from my RP group, and i'm terrified he'll start hitting on me… Fuck, i just wanted to use these free movie tickets and he asked me, so i thought "whatever, it's just a friend i play Dungeons and Dragons shit with". I have 0% romantic or sexual interest in this guy, and he's started to act awkward and "protective" around me, and sometimes flirt very obviously.
I just wanna go see the new Star Trek with my nerd friends without it being weird, like i used to when i was a teenager. I never had a problem with "being the only girl" in a group of friends before. I have no idea how to respectfully reject a guy i'm not interested in, what if he does something super obvious and uncomfortable?
I've seen him hit on one of my friends before (2-3 yrs ago), he was insanely creepy that time, even though she rejected him over and over…
I just don't want him to interpret going to the movies with me as me "being interested", ffs i just wanna hang out like a normal person.

No. 107539

Might be long so I apologize for blog post.

>Had very shitty father.

>Abusive, cheated on mom etc
>I'm a very passionate person when it comes to certain things. I anger easily/cold/callous towards people I perceive to have done something wrong since I was little due to my father.
>Anyway
>My bf's father put his ex wife's children/family over his own actual blood (my bf and his sisters)
>Cue insane rage (I can't help it I tried)
>Bf's father started patching things up with bf. Bf is very laid back, sweet guy. He's okay with it and forgave him.
>I, on the other hand. Cannot.
>This causes stress because I tend to just avoid anything where his father is.
>Bf understands but still wishes I'd calm down over it.
>I can't. Anytime I'm in the same room with his father I'm told I look like I want to murder someone.
>Wedding is coming up.
>I.do.not.want.him.there
>I think he's a piece of shit and I want him out.
>Don't misunderstand, I don't tell my bf not to see him or spend time with him. I encourage him having a relationship with him.
>But just, I personally cannot like him due to what he did to bf.
>It's causing a strain with the family because I really do not want him there.

Anyone here deal with something like this? Any tips to deal with the anger?