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Write it out to prevent picrel
Maybe they're triggering
bc you know binging and purging will ruin your whole body from teeth to ass.
did you know adult halloween parties exist?
I mean how would you know. You sound underage as fuck
They either think all the fun things are either for kids or scrotes
Everyone who thinks like this wants to be a normie so hard but you will never be a normie adult as long as you keep posting and lurking lolcow.farm
Let's just embrace our unhinged selves, that sounds more honest anyways.
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>>930219>seeing OP pic whilst I'm on my period
B-but anon! The sea! The food!
We're country neighbours and yea, I feel you
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but it's good for a vacation though…right? right?
So I'm sheltered because I don't like seeing gory pics? I've seen way too much and I don't like looking at something that looks like gore every time I scroll. But you're a big and tough girl I guess.>>930379
It still looks like actual gore on first glance and I'm not the only one to say it. Also not everyone's a burger, I have no idea who this bitch is.
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use this as thread pic if you do.
Nah, I'm not tough at all, quite the opposite. It's just that saying that an famous actress that looks like she just ate her gf during her period is "basically" gore is really stupid. Makes light of real, awful shit.
Even the titty ham with egg at the food thread looked more gorey than this.
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how do people in this household get shit on the INSIDE of the toilet roll fucking christ
I see worse than that in my underwear every month lol >>930405
You got there before me
I moved in with a bf after a few weeks once. My lease was unexpectedly ended so I'd 28 days notice and while stressing about my options the guy just said to move in to his plave. We did everything so fast that we were having arguments nobody should be having that early on. Stress from the fucking beginning. No nice fuzzy stage at all. I wish I had stuck to my original plan of only staying there til I found my own place. It should've been a temp thing. I got stuck there, admittedly too dependant on his income to help.
Is he looking for his own place once he gets the funds together?
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i fucking hate how ignorant and stupid zoomers are. they’re so anti woman, racist, and homophobic that they don’t even fucking realize it. why the fuck are woman spaces being altered and renamed? why the fuck are woman spaces invaded by these dumbasses? what the hell is “non man loving non man” ? lesbian is and always will be wlw. trannies can fucking suck it and stick with pansexual. but no, they never do it in mens spaces. gay isn’t “non woman loving non woman” … it’s just gay.
Hahaha a pedo is following my daughter around ahahaha teehee hee
Your family is cunts
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I'm a woman with a history of coddling 4chan users. In 2012 I used to do therapist skype calls for lonely suicidal men as a teenager, and recently I've begun doing it to the users of the /lgbt/ board. Basically I'm a blogger (lol) who started writing about the transgender debate. I have very dissenting views of pretty much every party involved. However, I initially started writing to convince the trans women on the board that not all women hate them. I became their messiah overnight. I took a break and began to try and write with my own voice without the intent of comforting others, and to do so I had to reveal that I actually agree with the gender criticals on many things. There was a vapid internet argument, but at the end I posted the following. Honestly I don't know what I was thinking lol. These responses shocked me into waking up, and they reminded me that I was not in understanding company. It was the way they responded to my worries as a mother that suddenly woke me up and made me realize I was the only girl in a room full of guys.
Why am I like this? I can't get rid of this stupid desire to be a constant people pleaser. I took this mentality to its extremes with my last boyfriend, where I would degrade myself to ridiculous lengths just because I wanted to make him happy. Do I just want people to like me?
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Can't stop having mental conversations with made up people in my head all because I don't have friends to talk to, I literally give them rebuttals and questions just for me to reply
I relate to you pretty hard. I was going to be a therapist in life but got caught in the moral quandary of charging people for their mental health. I just can't justify someone's life satisfaction costing money unless they're really well-off and okay with it. I've spent the majority of my life helping suicidal and depressed, anxious and miserable people work towards and maintain healthy, productive, happy, better lives. I've been studying self-help, therapy and psychology since I was about 13. I've watched many people grow and some fail and at this point I don't even know what else to do with my life. It's incredibly fulfilling and stressful.
However I would not take /lgbt/ as serious example of human interaction. That is a *chan board and they're meant to be full of toxicity and stupidity and vain hatred. People are rude and presumptuous, there are no standards of discourse and probably most of the reaction you're getting, other than troons being troons, based on the screenshot. I have personally found a lot of troons to be extremely self-centered and utterly oblivious or uncaring about how their identity-issues affect others around them. It's very solipsistic.
You don't sound entirely sincere about it though, you kinda sound like you're being narcissistic (blogger, messiah, differing actual views) or want to be liked/validated for it and probably overcompensating in some way. Did you ever go through any of the things you're helping others with? What goes through your head and feelings when you see someone in dire straits? What is your self-esteem? are you well-adjusted? you could have a hero-complex or masochism, judging from your post. These are two very common things in the "helper/healer/fixer" category of people, and you may have some mix of these. How old are you? Are you a mother currently?
The root of people pleasing is from self-esteem and a need to be liked, and the extent of this 'likedness' is on a spectrum. You could be filling a hole in yourself where your self
-esteem ought to be, or you could have outrageous standards for yourself and need extreme validation for that standard, as in narcisissm or I-was-given-far-too-high-and-unreasonable-expectations-growing-up, which is something I am sort of picking up from your post.
You shouldn't be degrading yourself for someone especially romantically, I'm sure you know this but there's a vicious cycle you're feeding into by doing it. I could help you and explain a lot better in a different form of communication if you'd like, I have a lot of personal and semi-professional experience with this.
One thing you might take away from this, or in general should know is that you cannot save every type of person, and love/care will not work on all people, and doing so is just hurting one well-meaning individual and probably further radicalizing another, which is not serving any sort of good, even if that well-meaning individual is you.
are the ways*
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I'm gonna fucjing lose it. I'm gonna let it out. Im sosick of everything. ARENT you all tired??? Why don't we do something about it? We're all either NEETs or suicidal or both. What do we have to lose
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The same thing which has kept me from going apeshit for most of my life and I constantly have to remind myself of. Life is already so boring, but being potentially caged up, but now with the risk agp's? Fuck no.
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God I'm so glad that I'm not an ass-kissing doormat. Feels good to be a cold bitch.
Thank you for the lovely reply.
By degrade, I mean I let him have sex with me without my genuine consent several times over the course of a few months, just because I wanted to make him happy.
I feel I constantly have to be this squishy comfort doll that morphs to fit the hand of whoever is holding me. I'm scared to be scolded for asserting myself upon any social settings.
When I think back to him or any other setting where I tried to comfort people, it genuinely was sincere. I didn't feel a need to be liked, I genuinely just wanted to make him happy–and I'd still feel this pity were he next to me right now. I honestly think it's all fuelled by pity. Maybe that is pathetic like the other poster suggested. I don't really need my contributions to be validated by everybody around me. I'm okay with people like >>930587
poking fun at me because I know it's just internet retard shit, and honestly, I'm not so brainwormed that I'm constantly paranoid about being an awful person or whatever. I know I'm fine. I'm just a wet noodle who internalized one too many ideals about how a kind person should act.
>You don't sound entirely sincere about it though, you kinda sound like you're being narcissistic (blogger, messiah, differing actual views) or want to be liked/validated for it and probably overcompensating in some way.
I said messiah because that's practically how they saw me. They treated me like I was this prophesized woman, come to deliver the tranners from their self-doubt. I write primarily for entertainment mostly, besides this occasion where I wrote to comfort people.
I appreciate the offer but I think I'm fine for now. I don't have any channels of contact besides email anyways.
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Can't go on a damn video with a women killer without incels screeching at the top of their lungs how evil women are.
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when i block and unblock him for the 7th time this year and he doesn't accept my friend request this time.
well, honestly that's really good to hear. it's always refreshing to see someone who understands the importance of self-sacrifice, but please understand that sacrifice is for the GREATER good, not some vampiric imbalance or self-degradation. you are NOT supposed to sacrifice yourself or commit yourself to suffering meaninglessly or for cheap enjoyment. That is actually shameful and feeds evil. You should really start looking at yourself more objectively, you are a well-intentioned, generally good-natured individual and you deserve the same sort of treatment that those people deserve. Doing wrong to yourself is just as bad as doing it to another. There can be a lot of appeal to being overly kind but please take limits into consideration. You are more than valuable as a human being. >>930604
see? see? you know I'm right. You're being a masochist!!! >:(
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I just a forced target ad about Covid vaccine safety on iPhone that opened and closed itself, because I was browsing the antivax section of Rooshv forum for lolz. It was audio only, only showed up on my Lock Screen visually, and was creepy and hell in an unbelievably anti-effective way, like snl skit about autistic aliens making apps and comically failing at understanding basic human thoughts. Is this the future now? 24/7 online babysitting thru ads that assumes the reader is an infantilized child incapable of reading the wrong things without oversight? What the actual fuck is going on right now.? I can’t even figure out if it the origin is apple or the govt of ny, because there is a total search result blackout on Google, like no one has ever seen it besides me.
that's a bittersweet compliment, anon. but I'll definitely take it. You are a lovely person for what you've done, but I think it's time to retire the self-harm and maybe pick up some self-help, too. You can still do wonders for other people helping them and find a medium and healthy balance for kindness and pity, these are very virtuous things but you ought to take a break, heal, and spend some time alone, focus more about yourself than others, you're distracting your progress with other people's. You've earned a vacation, anon, paid in full. Love yourself.
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it makes me so envious when anons want to contact each other off the site and become cute online friends, i’m so full of jealousy and spite
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I want to go fucking insane seriously I can’t take anything anymore I’m actually a maniac
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I never thought of mads as attractive and I hated the hype around him and now I suddenly want to fuck him and I don't know why and I hate it
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Welcome to the club nonny
, honestly Madsfags are the chillest of groupies. He's a weird-sexy not untalented actor who's surprisingly unproblematic compared to most celebs, so you could do much worse
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it's the natural order of things
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I'm angry at a situation beyond my control and want to make strangers on the internet angry to release my frustration but am too butthurt to form an action plan.
I don't think my boil was random tbh. I know why it showed up, it's my fault.>>930644
Not the ayrt, but mine didn't even hurt before I popped it to be honest. I didn't even realize it was there until I felt it in the shower.
Late, but I'd suggest the option
of just being roommates so he doesn't feel trapped with you and start resenting you for it (you can build it back up from there as you get to know each other more). Also I'd not try to control his porn habits or anything else he does on his own really at least for a while, but I'm kind of a pathetic "I'll blow you while you watch porn, just please make me part of it" mess so idk
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From conspiracy theorists to kinnies to new-age antivaxxers to astrologists to gender enthusiasts, the post-truth lifestyle really does seem to be the hot overarching trend of this era when you step back and look at it all.
People have obviously always believed things that aren’t true, but there’s a very particular brazen confidence that’s emerged lately among people who consider it their god-given right to just ignore and replace reality with whatever they want lmao
Instagram has a pretty great terf
community. You would absolutely be welcome. Easy to be relatively anonymous on there, as well.
Kek, at least you're upfront about being unhinged. How long has this toxic
relationship been going on?
>>930771>I wonder if it's the result of the post-religious society. It seems that people yearn for the fantasy of someone bigger than them controlling everything because it's easier to accept than the fact that everything happens because it just happens
Or how about people can tell shit is fucked up and consent is being manufactured for all sorts of things. They can sense that this way of life is too unnatural, but just can't articulate it, without the use of conspiracies or magical thinking. The cottagecore zoomers, not the religious tradthots, are closer to the truth. The rest has to come up with conspiracies to cope. It's difficult to keep track of things when several governments have hired post modern art directors to spread (mis)information. Post modernism is just a tool, used for good and bad, every ideology uses it whether they like it or not, so no Jordan Peterson fearmongering here and it's common knowledge about the culture ministry of as an example Russia. So not a conspiracy either and it does make for very pretty propaganda. Something bigger IS controlling us? Hello? (nation) States literally do that? Patriarchy? Just no lizardmen or terf
i feel like because this guy has poor social skills and is autistic he’s probably a virgin and assumes that all men aren’t having sex with women, when that’s not the case.
he also tried to say that sex work is work and is no different than working retail. i told him he should become a prostitute before making stupid comparisons like that and he tried to wiggle out of it by saying he’s unattractive so he wouldn’t make a good prostitute but i told him some people would probably be into him lol.
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>gained a fuckton of weight
>blood labs were bad, realized I need to make changes
>read a few books on glycemic load and altering eating patterns because I know I can't commit much to exercise
>cut all carbs and start one meal a day
>easy enough cause I'm too busy at work to take lunch and I'm too broke to be spending much on takeout
>go to the grocery store and buy clean cooking ingredients only
>notice weight shedding off slowly
>20 pounds lost since July from not doing shit
>barely hungry anymore
>husband is a picky eater who loves carby snacks
>like will eat an entire bag of cheese curls in a sitting
>and ofc men don't get fat from that bullshit
>begs me all the time for junk and sweets
>tell him he can buy his own but I'm not buying anything
>he'll buy his own but begs still, I think he just wants me to enable him
>cave and make a medium tin of homemade chocolate chip vanilla bean brownies
>have some brownies from the batch
>weight loss stymied
>sudden ravenous cravings
I ate the brownies between Saturday and Sunday, husband polished the majority of them. Still, I had a few myself. I can't believe what they've done to me just from those servings. It's like my body remembered how fucking good carbs were and stored all the sugar as fat then revved up my appetite in retaliation for depriving it.
Yesterday I was so fucking hungry and I worked from home so food was available. I had a leftover salmon filet and peas for lunch, low-cal soup, a giant bacon and cheese omelet, a tin of tuna, and who knows how many glasses of whole milk because seltzer water wasn't doing it for me.
I'm supposed to make shrimp and zucchini noodles for dinner tonight but I'm working from home again and feel tempted to order something for delivery. I know I shouldn't tailspin just because I had a naughty weekend. I just want to eat shit food and genuinely not care for a day because it's so damn unfair.
Why is he begging you for shit he can literally buy himself? Is he trying to get you to be his feeder or sum?
Boundaries, nonna. Tell him you've got your health prioritized and he can buy his own fucking snacks. If he begs you again, hit him with a newspaper.
Also congrats on the weight loss, get back on that wagon and you'll be losing again in no time. These setbacks are inevitable, but it's up to you how you deal with them. A week from now you'll be proud of bouncing back strong instead of spiraling.
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This is so annoying. I wanted to meet with my friend who I haven’t seen in a whole ass year because, well, I haven’t seen her in a whole ass year.
But because my dumbass cousin got the coof 3 times in a row and three family members of mine died, everyone is paranoid.
I mean, yeah, I am too, I haven’t gone out since I got my vaccine.
But I take care of myself, my friend is also vaccinated, I would wear a ghost costume and I would keep my mask on under the costume, it’s not difficult to me because I’m not morbidly obese with breathing difficulties like some nerd who has to wheeze her ass around like a damaged squeaky toy.
I don’t want to go to her house and she also doesn’t want to celebrate Halloween at her house because her family’s shitty.
But I think she won’t want to come to my uncle’s house because it’s too far from her own.
I just want my house to get the remodeling done so I can go back there, I appreciate my uncle’s help, but seriously, being at home is different.
In my house, I don’t have to deal with these many cockroaches and my dog can also be more comfortable too.
I can do yoga at my house comfortably because I don’t have to worry about my paranoia of cockroaches being disgustingly dirty and running around the house with their disgusting, useless tiny little cockroach feet, making everything gross and making me wipe my dog every 5 seconds.
And like, I’m mad because it’s always so difficult to meet up, none of us can drive because I’ve been sheltered my whole life and told that I wouldn’t drive well even if the whole road was a clean slate, making me insecure about it, and whenever I try to take driving classes, some shit happens that makes me unable to take them for one reason or another.
And my friend can’t drive either because her family doesn’t want their slave to be independent.
Living in a third world shithole makes everything so fucking difficult that it’s honestly ridiculous.
You can look into some sort of light exercise routine such as steady walking and lifting some weight to increase muscle mass and burn more calories
"if you have time to eat, you have time to lift"
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It doesn’t matter how much I try to fix my life, if I even ever get friends, a job, a car, some sense of normalcy and adjustment to reality, I will still always feel empty and depressed. I will still wake up needing to kill myself, to finally feel free of pain and existence. There is nothing that I can change in my life that will make me feel happier, I can’t feel happiness. There is no future for me.
>>931224>As if the same shit isn't our fate too
It isn't, unless you are a prisoner of a concentration camp or a victim
of a murderer like Jeffrey Dahmer.>>931229
Please tell me this isn't you, Gus anon. If it is, I want you to be happy!
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my life has been non-stop humiliation and it's bringing me down
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my feelings on gender are complicated.
i hope this doesn't seem too "spergy", but…on one hand, i don't think it [gender] means anything? on the other, if it "doesn't mean anything" i have to question why i get so annoyed by the idea of "non-binary".
i think in my ideal world we wouldn't have trans identities or whatever, everyone would just go by their sex and otherwise be themselves? i don't know how to shape my thoughts on the matter, and it's growing into another little pointless worry of mine
Anons, I just need some words right now to bring me back to reality. Something to make me less jittery, I'm about to throw up.
My mom, who I live with, is a huge tinfoiler. She's buying a house in our country's sticks so she can "build a new society". Just half an hour ago, a short (5, barely 10 min) power outage happened on our block, and as soon as the lights went out, she started shouting orders: "Get a backpack! Get your warmest clothes! Flashlights, batteries, toiletries!" etc. etc. The light came back on, and after that, she told me to go to the store to get a list full of things for the bugout bag.
This happens every day, every day she tells me how the world is going to end very soon, and how I was going to learn how to survive in it. She loves panicking, and although I dont believe most of what she's saying, she gives me extreme anxiety, to the point I feel like killing myself out of despair.
I'm planning to move to my dad's house, since they're generally saner (and my dad has cancer, about which my mother immediately had to tell me "your stupid father got the vaxx which is why he has cancer now". My mental health is getting worse because of her, and I don't think I can just stand by and nod anymore. Maybe I'm a pussy, but I just can't deal with her.
Had a job at a summer camp that felt like I was at high school all over agian because of how catty and cliquey some people were. One of the guys there was literally a grown ass man who who would shit-talk and humiliate 19 year old girls and a 17 year old boy respectively. These were his coworkers. It was so plainly obvious that he felt entitled to a "better" position than either of the two 19 year olds when all the positions paid the same, lol. When one of the girls left her position, he ended up sending emails and making calls to head office asking why he wasn't the one who got the position and demanded he get it, listing reasons why. He even went as far as to call both the girls habitual liars that inflated their skills and capabilities. He would walk up to them and "test" them in front of others. He even told everyone someone lied about their major at uni as well as about getting their second vax shot.
I really didn't have to think hard as to why this guy was in the same position as people in their teens and early twenties. He pins others achievements on nepotism when he's lived in the area his whole life and knows his way around it. He couldn't take the fact that some people, especially girls, were more capable and trustworthy than he was. Would imply that little girls between the ages of 4-6 were dumb when certain activities were beyond their level.
Guy was deluded enough to think everyone thought he was kind and generous, lmao. He shit-talked everyone and would even shit talk his girlfriend as if she wasn't doing him a favour by activley seeking out his time and company.
Saw him pressure the aforementioned 17 year old into drinking when that's not even the legal drinking age here; an actual child had more tenacity and self-respect in that moment than he could ever muster in his entire life. The kid had to sit through a grown man and some of his other coworkers pushing him to drink and refused every time. It was so hard to watch, I have no idea how people were fooled by this sack of shit. Like, how could people stand him? He talked about a coworker who had an actual seizure as though he had a fall and that he'd be "fine," when he literally saw what happened. The guy wasn't fine, he had a bleeding gash on his head, was puking and had a seizure that lasted for what felt like a lifetime. I don't get it. How did people put up with that? How did they not see who he was?
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anon why are you being so aggressive? kek the peasants are gonna eat you, be afraid shein hag
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Ewwwwwwwwww wait why are you assuming that? Do you really think dumb video edits are just a scrote thing?
I clearly was talking about non-human animals. Don't play dumb>>931335>the peasants are gonna eat you, be afraid shein hag
Wow, the projection. And I am supposed to be the one who is aggressive? If you don't see how it's tactless to whine about humans experiencing capitalism when I'm talking about psychotic Dahmer-tier abuse of animals, COMMITED BY PEOPLE (also belonging to the disadvantaged classes, lol), IDK what to tell you. Yes I realize that both of those issues are caused by valuing profit over lives, but you literally made it about poor oppressors when I was talking about their murdered victims
. Make your own vent post instead of hijacking mine for your "hmm, extreme abuse of animals is literally what I am experiencing!!!" selfish take.>>931255
Thanks, you get it.
There is still hope Nonnie
. I had a somewhat similar experience and my sex drive completely vanished for a really long time. However it's still completely possible to reclaim your sexuality, it just takes time as you're coming to terms with things and learning to move on. If your boyfriend isn't a bitch and can help support you through it that could be helpful. It was really beneficial to have my boyfriend reassure me that if I needed some space he was absolutely fine with giving it me and he was extremely patient. Sending all my love and support to you from the bottom of my kokoro.
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>>931495>When one of the guys asked for a gift too he made him sweep dirt in the parking lot
He sounds creepy and weird but christ that's hilarious
Too bad your argument falls flat since Exo is an old group and all Exo hags at this point are definitely older than 18.
It's pretty fucked that you think women can't have youtube channels with shitposting content.
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Feel awful and a disgrace that I won't end up getting a job nor planning to work in the field with the STEM degree that I've been working on. I hope I can get a job as a library assistant or at a bookstore at the very least. Pressure to go into STEM was me being dishonest and blinded by money at 17 but I guess I appreciate it being a life lesson to being honest with myself.
I lived in an apt building years ago where someone moved in and their first weekend living there they had a bbq on their tiny (and I mean fucking tiny) balcony.. several surrounding apts went up in flames.
I always thought it was retarded how many people have moving in parties and proceed to piss off all their neighbours from day one, that was another level though.
anon trust me you are not the only tattooed gaijin going to go teach english in gunma, it isn't the end of the world. Wear long sleeves, and even if you're given a short sleeve shirt to wear, sun protection is a extremely normal thing here. You will fit right in with all the countryside grandmas and other gaijin wearing sun protection sleeves.
source: 9/10 english teachers in japan are white people with tattoos living in the countryside and they are fine
why does sonic trigger
anons so badly kek
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Oh sorry, I was unaware that I'm not allowed to have feelings about one thing in a vent thread and should single-handedly end global injustice instead.
Your picrel is a boomer tier criticism, down to portraying a pornhub watcher (!) as a white kArEn. Sure, let's obsess about choices of individuals while corporations and billionaires ruin our planet for everyone.
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Notice: This person used to torture animals for fun, probably still does, or has a Nigel who does, and is very, very triggered
when they are reminded that normal, decent humans have empathy. They do not care about other humans experiencing the worst of capitalism, but they will weaponize them whenever they hear or read someone try to talk about animal welfare. This subject is very personal for this anon, please understand before you reply
What do you think was she trying to prove, though? It was just a vent in the vent thread>>931936
Nothing in my post contradicts the meaning of Nigel lol, try again
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Why would your cowardly ass wait this long to tell me you had a crush cuz I legit would've entertained it but now it's just awkward at our kickbacks wtf
NTA but I get my processed shit from workers collectives, co-ops, so the factories and everything are owned by the workers and the money goes towards women's healthcare, education etc. The rest I grow myself through permaculture or get via foraging. Just because someone doesn't go to the same lengths as I do, doesn't mean that they aren't allowed to try to make choices based on their own set of ethics. While it's not revolutionary to do so on its own, it's something. Call me a lifestylist if you want. >>931910
I literally have low empathy and I'm still a decent human, thank you very much, but other than that, I agree. Personally, I do what I do out of spite towards capitalists, because it goes against my own code to treat scrotes better than animals and I get some happy chemicals from growing my own food/foraging.
yep I have a feeling she is expecting me to pay for her, which I won't be doing because she will neverrrr pay me back>>931970
right, she legit asked if we can go to mcdonalds for dinner… I don't know why she accepted my invitation to come on the trip if that's truly all she can afford.
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My best friend is a raging pick me
She's a really sweet and important person in my life but honestly, sometimes I wonder if she ever thinks ANYTHING other than men and relationships. She values male validation over everything. For example, if we are out and she's wearing an outfit that for some reason she thinks is not male-gazey enough, she will ask a minimum of three times "what if Chad mcChadison sees me now?!". I'm not kidding.
Also, I admitted her that I find a (male) friend of mine attractive, and she tried to stir drama because a said friend has liked her IG post. Seriously, what the fuck? When does that mean that someone is interested in you?
That gave me kinda creepy vibes like she was trying to "win" him from me. Note, I'm comfortable in the friendzone but it's frustrating that she always has to plot these soap opera schemes.
Seriously, I’m sick of this, of being dependent of someone, I don’t even know if I will ever be completely independent.
I love my family, for real, but sometimes I think they just don’t want me to ever be on my own or to ever make friends or anything.
This is the same issue since forever, since I was a kid, anything I wanted was an afterthought, and while I’ve always had quite the cushy life, I’ve had my wants and needs.
I need to see my only friend, I want to see her so we can hangout, i want to cheer her up because her life has been hell.
But I can’t because of the dumbass covid, or because my brother is too stwessed, or too bwusy, or he has stuff he wants to do the exact same day at the exact same hour I wanted to meet my friend. Or because there’s some other shit that got miscalculated and now nothing can happen.
I’m sure that even if I knew how to drive, there would be some issue that wouldn’t let me use the car to pick my friend.
Sometimes (okay, most of the times) I just hate my brain. I'm back at university for a 12-months course, I love what I will be learning and doing, but I'm just so damn tired already and it's been only the 3rd day today. I don't know how other people can do it, some of them even work after the course. And to the tiredness comes the feeling that I'm not good enough and that everyone is way better, faster, more skilled, etc than I am. Also, I don't have the equipment at home to practice on the weekends and maybe would get to a point where I would feel confident. I just don't know anymore, I love what I do, I want to learn all the things they will teach us, but I just feel like I don't belong there, that I'm just a loser and won't get through it, because I'm not able to work hard enough.
Anon I know it's hard and you can love your family all you want… but controlling you that way is another way of abuse. Save up and get out of there, it will be better for your mental health. Them keeping you dependent and not letting you learn how to do stuff is manipulative and controlling. They could be nice and all, but they shouldn't coddle you like that if you're an adult. Make your own life, make your own choices, and gradually learn how to do stuff on your own.
Check out this video and tell me what you think.
This video literally changed my whole life. After watching it I realized my grandmother had be infantilizing me and my mother for the last 15 years. I started to realize I couldn't trust her the way I thought I did, that I was being manipulated.
My mother and I have never really had a strong relationship, I didn't even meet her until I was in jr high, but recently we had been communicating more than usual. I told her about the video and after she watched it we talked and started to unravel the years and years worth of lies my grandmother had told us. She had manipulated the two of us into hating each other, telling lies to each of us to make us turn on each other. She would always say I was more like her daughter than my mom was, that I was so much like her and that my mom was mentally unwell and didn't want to be a part of out family. I spent so many years crying that my mother wouldn't come to holidays or my birthday only to find out my grandmother wasn't even inviting her. It was very hard for me to get a hold of my mother and I was relying on my grandma to get messages to her.
She would treat me like a child, always, even when I'm now in my 20s. Making me feel incompetent at things I was skilled at, trying to police what I said and did. Trying to make me seem like I was an out of control kid who couldn't control my own emotions, and that I needed her to survive. She went in so hard on my mother that she can barely handle her own life, she feels completely lost. She has no confidence, she doesn't think she can do anything right. My grandmother shames her for wearing clothes that are too short or tight when my mother is in her early 40s, shames her haircuts, shames her diet, shames who she chooses to spend time with. My mother can barely function as an adult. And now that we've uncovered all of her manipulation, my grandma has pushed me out of her life. She's completely changed as a person, everything I thought I knew about her was like an act. It's fucked me up bad, it's destroyed what I thought was the most important relationship in my life. What used to be my second home is now a strangers house, even the house itself is changing…
When you say fictional men are you talking cartoons and manga? Because most anime characters don't look like men or women unless you specifically draw tits or a dick on them. They're just a couple of lines to project feelings onto.
Fancying either Sasuke or Liam Hemsworth are two very different things
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Just stop, anon is surely a sperg from the huge yaoi sped rap battle from the unpopular opinions thread.
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I've been living openly as a lesbian since my late teens, as I never wanted to be in a relationship with or sleep with a man but I was always kind of confused on my sexuality. The older I get the more I feel like I'm actually a female exclusive bisexual but I don't know how to come out about it without sounding retarded or it being incredibly awkward. I'm like a 5 on the Kinsey scale. From this point onwards I'm just going to tell people I'm only interested in being with women and leave it at that if asked. Genuinely wish the term "Sapphic" wasn't only used by people who think of being homosexually attracted as an aesthetic
I know no one actually cares, but can't help feel like I'm adding to the homophobic belief that "lesbians aren't real" which is why I wish I feel so conflicted on this.
I wonder if anon was male and jealous because he doesn't have bara tiddies. >>932391
because this shitty pic looks like something only a man would enjoy.
Also Lily you can reclaim the term sapphic for yourself if that makes you feel happier. Dont listen to anons here, or anyone else. If calling yourself a lesbian carreys a lot of connotation for you, then it's okay. No one will judge you I promise.
From what we have interacted I have never ever felt like you were bisexual. We both know you hate men and if any man made an advance on you, you would feel disgusted and rejected. You would never have sex with men. That makes you an homosexual.
I'll put myself as an example… I'm a bisexual woman who thought she was lesbian all these years, but even as a child I had both girl and boy crushes. I didn't want to face this because I'm also a manhater and I genuinely thought men are disgusting. As I grew up, I've met men that are nice and do bathe. And now I can accept I like men, just a little.
But even if a man bathed and was nice to you, you would not like him at all. You would feel repulsed. Do you see what I'm trying to say?
Liking yaoi doesn't make you less of a lesbian. People here are just dumb. I love you and accept you as you are, please remember this. You don't need the opinion of anyone here.
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Discord users are really something
yeah but those arent lesbians
like, people can like anime guys for multiple reasons, hetties too you know
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And also drooling over the rest over their blatantly male bodies.
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We just got over the fucking yaoi/fujo argument, please for the love of god don't bring it back
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Ah. I see the monthly fujoshi v. lesbianism debate has come a little earlier this time? Can't we make a thread documenting all the instances already? Alright, who's autistic enough to dig through archives and keep track of anymore popping up in the future?
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At least make your spergs rhyme, it would make everything fine.
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>>932398>I wonder if anon was male and jealous
he was 100% a weak breasted hangry oh-shit-i'm-out-of-cup-ramen little presslet
funny, I was just thinking that I needed someone to think I'm handsome (female) and be loving. maybe we're meant to be, nonnie
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I honestly can't even admit this to myself most of the time, but sometimes I do get really lonely and wish I had a boyfriend even though I know it actually wouldn't be worth it and that I'm looking for an ideal that doesn't exist. I also just have a really specific taste in guys and am not willing to compromise so I'd rather be alone than have to settle (tried dating and it didn't really work out). I think what I really want is companionship. It doesn't even have to be a boyfriend. I would be happy even with a platonic friend who I can open up to and talk to whenever. I used to feel like I had friends like that, but we've grown apart and it isn't like that anymore. I guess I could make new friends, but I think that I'm a very specific type of person and most of the time don't feel comfortable really being myself around others. I wish I could have someone who I know would be a constant in my life. I guess that also isn't doable since people inevitably grow and change, but it would be nice to have someone to look forward to talking to and they also looked forward to talking to me just as much. To know that I'm they're favorite person and that they're also my favorite person to talk to. I enjoy being single but I hate being this lonely I guess.
i see a lot of myself in what you're describing and feeling but tbh sis, some of these feelings might be due to your age. can i ask how old you are? i say this because of this in particular:
>most of the time don't feel comfortable really being myself around others
you might need time to figure out yourself and who you really are first. as cliche as that sounds.
NTA but it’s really hard to make actually decent friends. Most women are dating/married or trying to be so a significant portion of their life is sucked up by men. Then on top of finding someone who is single or not totally male obsessed at least they have to be compatible with you. So many people these days don’t even have a hobby.
And of course, you have to wait for time to pass to become close enough to be true BFFs, but being vulnerable or intimate with friends as an adult is viewed as weird so good luck with that
i'm almost 30, so to me, 23 is really young. i don't say this to shit on you, i say this as a positive because you have so much time to figure out what you should value in life.
what interests do you have that you feel like you can't share it with certain friends? a true friend wouldn't shit on you, give you a hard time, or make you feel weird for your interests. distance yourself from people that do that. they are not worth your time. time is precious and i wish i had valued it when i was younger and prioritized more.
don't be afraid to make new friends just because there might be a chance that you will "drift" from them. sometimes what we perceive as "drifting apart" is all in our heads. if someone is a good friend to me and i didn't leave with them on bad terms, i always try to reach out to them even if i can only do it once every 4 months or more. i think that true friends are the ones that can come back to you after months or even a year of not talking to each other, and talk again like nothing has changed. i have seen many older people, like my parents do this when i was growing up. they still kept in touch with some of their high school friends. i hope i make sense to you anon.
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I had to turn of the AC because I was coughing, I'm not "toxic", I'm not "insufferable", i have asthma/covid, i started coughing so i needed to turn it off. Stop screaming at me, calling me names, talking at my back and plotting against me, stop acting like i want to hurt someone, i just want to get better and be left alone. Everyone here acts like a crackhead, i can't even take care of my health without upsetting someone in this house. I'm sick of fighting everyday with them and that fucking fat scrote, i don't want to fight, i just want to be left alone, let me alone please.
I know there are lots of people and anons that were forced to stay with their shitty family members because of COVID, but i can't help but feel hopeless and alone.
Thanks for the advice nona and for listening to me when I was feeling really down. I'm into true crime, some edgy music genres, and talking about weird internet shit. I can tell to a certain extent that people's eyes glaze over once I start being an autist about my hyperfixations so I usually try to talk about more relatable stuff so that everyone can participate in the conversation even if its less exciting to me.
You're probably right that the feeling of "drifting apart" is probably more in my head, but especially with who I would have considered my closest friend it seems that she is looking for other people in her life and that I can't really be that person for her anymore (which I totally understand even if it took me a while). I don't think she enjoys hanging out with me as much as she used to and I guess I feel the same way. Seems like we've outgrown each other a little bit, which is always difficult to accept. I miss the feeling of knowing that there is someone I can talk to no matter what and viceversa, but I'm sure I'll eventually find someone to fill that space again as you said. Even though it will take a little while, I'll just have to be patient with it.
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I feel a little sick and I'm not hungry, but for some reason I just keep eating more food. Why do I do this to myself
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I'm glad I'm used to being alone, but man.. kind of wish I had a close relationship with my cousins on my dad's side again. I made myself sad imagining us all having a slumber party and watching old Bratz, Barbie, My Scene, and Disney Channel movies.
Being alone can be pretty peaceful. I ditched all the toxic
people around me (basically everyone) and don't interact with many beyond family and those I know more casually. I love having so much time to myself without feeling guilty. I've been slowly building friendships with a few acquaintances that seem healthy and honestly just the casual talk with them has been a hundred times more pleasant than dealing with people who I was more emotionally intimate with but they did nothing but start drama and use me as a sounding board
you're welcome. i hope you feel better. you sound like a very agreeable, thoughtful person since you think about how others feel in conversations. i hope you can find other people like you.
if you're not this person >>932644
then please disregard this next part. but if you want a bf that will also be a best friend to you, you need to start as just friends with a man. that's how i grew to eventually love my bf. we had established a strong friendship that when we decided to become a couple, most things just fell into place. it felt very natural.
of course always be cautious of the men you befriend, but it is possible to form genuine friendships with men. it's not a fantasy. i'm not saying to lower your standards or to settle for any man, but if he's truly a good person, at least try to adjust some of your tastes. i'm not saying to overlook bad hygiene or things like that but when i was younger, i had such a rigid set of appearances that i wanted in a bf that i wouldn't even open myself up to men that didn't fall into that exact same type. i almost did it to my current bf. and if i had done that, i would have lost out in experiencing genuine love.
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Yep, that was also me. I agree that the only way I'd be comfortable around a guy is if I was friends with him first since dating has been really uncomfortable for me. I used to have some pretty comfy, genuine friendships with men when I was in college but we also grew apart for various reasons (one of them ditched me once he got a girlfriend and the other one I had to distance myself from because he was becoming really codependent after a breakup). Since then, it's been harder to befriend men because it seems the only ones who are interested in talking to me do so because they're attracted to me and aren't interested in friendship. I guess again it just comes down to patience, but I really appreciate the advice. I'm glad you have a nice relationship with your bf. I think sometimes it can seem hopeless, but hearing that makes me happy for you and I feel less resigned about the future.
Not ironed too! Just straight from the packet!>>932704>>932716
I want to cut contact fully but she is the daughter of a family friend so I'll see her time to time.
Thanks for your support though nonnies, it really helps to have some sanity.
In honor of iconic trans "musician" "sewerslvt" taking the horrific murder case of a teenage girl, Junko Furuta, as his own aesthetic, using her name as his own "to show his resilience" and calling her a "sewer slut", I'm releasing an EP titled "41% You Worthless Piece of Shit" including the tracks "Dilator Castrator", "Deadname On Your Grave" and "Dead Rapist Tranny, Head Smashed Into Toilet",
I'm joking but I really get so angry about this shit. Trannies, just like any other type of male, are so fucking violent and disgusting, but we're supposed to act like they're poor torture souls who can do no wrong. Hilarious how the scrote I just mentioned, the whole pornogrind genre, MC Bushpig and Cannibal Corpse shit are allowed to exist, but anything like what I just described would probably get banned from all platforms
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I hate some pigshit headed anons, I love fighting with them and seeing them think that their opinions or views will ever have any bearing in the real world. It won’t, you are about as much of a dingdong as me, keep writhing though I don’t give a fuck
So my best friend started dating a complete soyboy. He is like 10 years older than her, looks like he never exercised in his life, narrow shoulders, a massive beer belly, skinny legs, batman t shirts in two sizes two small, holes in his shoes, the whole fucking works. She is so stunning though, so it's not like they are matched in looks at all.
She used to date a complete chad and got with the new boy in less than one month. I think he is a rebound, but what the fyck still. They looks ridiculous together. And ofc the soyboy wants her to start having children with him as soon as possible. He is completely repulsive, why is she with him, why wont she love herself?????
yes it is Eastern Europe
it's all in the wording and intentions nonnie
, if you aren't I apologize
People go on imageboards to vent thimgs they can't talk about with friends or on public social media. And because if you get angry in any way other than clapback wokerighteous on normie social media you make everyone scared & disoriented.
And I mean, everyone likes scrolling imageboards and reading anons going insane on each other. Sometimes you're the target, it's ok, you can rage back. Just don't go all "stop being mean!" like if you can't deal with a random anon making fun of you, that's kind of on you. Now some anons are just pissbabies as anywhere but mods don't let any arguments here go that far before redtexting so I think it's a nice balance.
My favorite is when anons start tinfoiling about who could be behind posts. And when the mods reveal that they’re right (usually a scrote). Or when anons can’t handle a posts and start pinning it on incels, Karen, fujos, or my favorite: Tomboys. KEK
It’s the shit show starring us.
Kek don’t get defensive
I saw an anon a while ago try to use it as an insult for anons who were responding to her. I don’t mean tomboys are actually a malicious group of people.
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I fucking knew I wasn’t in the wrong when I dropped my driving lessons on 2014!
The instructor was a fucking asshole who would vaguely explain shit and then shout at you for not getting it right the first time.
I just read the reviews after gathering some courage to start taking driving lessons again, and the reviews from the place I went to learn how to drive had a bunch of angry people because the moid is a fucking asshole.
I hope he got fired already, that school is the only one near to my grandma’s house, it’s the only place I can go to.
I’m sure that I will be able to do this right.
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I think my friendship with my long-term best friend of about 8 years is on it's deathbed. We don't get along anymore personality wise and they don't understand anything I say. Everytime we chat it feels tense and hostile. It hurts to talk to them and I wish I could just delete them from all social media and disappear instead of watching us gradually grow apart like this.
Same happened to me just a few days ago, had to just end it for good.. It's too painful to drag it on tbh especially if you're the only one that wants it to work.
Despite a connection/shared years if they're treating you like crap it's not worth it
I did not leave a message but she was awful to me/ghosted me for weeks at a time so she kinda deserved it
If your friend is nicer than that maybe take has your friendship gone through dips and ebbs before? Maybe you guys need some distance - try just not talking to her on social media for a while. If that doesn't work, then you should think about sending that final message
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Trying to cyberstalk someone and can't find shit about them
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>mfw yesterday u realize no one’s ever liked u for u
>people only like me for who i am most of the time
can i really catch a fucking break kek
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Idk why my dumb fuck premature boomer head (I’m not even a boomer I’m too dumb for this shit I hate this world) keeps forgetting to get rid of my illustrator subscription and I also bought the rest of my genshin battle pass and my payment thing isn’t working because and because and because and because I and that’s exactly why I and for that reason and because and that’s exactly why and exactly because because exactly and that’s why and I’ll never explain why because exactly why
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What is happening???
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I'm so sorry this is happening to you, here is a bird
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Please do. Make sure you capture comments on it and compare them to pornogrind/lolicore/ edgy alt rap comments on the same sites you post it to.
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I'm coming to the realisation that I might have been misdiagnosed with CFS when I was 13 when it was actually childhood depression. This all came about because I had been having problems with my mental health since primary school and it gradually kept getting worse through to high school. Everything started to overwhelm me, I had an emotional crash and refused to go to school because I didn’t feel well. my mother went to the doctor for me since I couldn't even get out of bed, he didn't believe in CFS but diagnosed me with it anyway chalking it up to being caused by a bad reaction to a jab without even seeing me in person. I can't remember a lot from this time in my life and when I think about it I often get emotional and I’ve never understood why. it feels like my teenage years were robbed. the whole time my depressive symptoms were mistaken for stupid cfs. I got worse and worse as I got older, I became more detached socially because I wasn't in school as much as my "friends" and peers, I got made fun of more because of cfs too, and despite everything my parents did my mental state still declined but no one would take me seriously (not even my shitty therapist) so I just kept thinking I wasn't depressed and it was the cfs for years. Looking back, it totally messed up my development. the whole time I could have gotten better and could have had a happier teenage hood that wasn't confusing and fucked up. now I have to pick up the pieces as an adult. I feel so helpless about this time in my life. I don't understand it was so clear something else was wrong how could people have not seen this.
you were abused or whatevs, you can stop projecting now
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>>932783>Iconic trans "musician" "sewerslvt" taking the horrific murder case of a teenage girl, Junko Furuta, as his own aesthetic, using her name as his own "to show his resilience" and calling her a "sewer slut"
please tell me this is a joke anon
I knew that fucker was a tranny but this is just too much for me
i didnt know sewerslvt was a tranny fucking hell.
ive seen way too many scrotes online making edgy jokes about junko furuta. its so gross and tasteless, i dont know how anyone can go through the experience of reading through the horrific things that happened to her and think 'haha lol edgy meme xd', or in this case using it as some weird fucked up aesthetic i guess
Don’t let men in tech demotivate you. Trust me, I’ve had it happen to me too since I work in tech and got my degree in CS. All that stuff is just bravado for them to try and seem like the ultimate nerd to others. Motivation for personal projects is hard and when you graduate and start working almost all professional developers don’t do side projects because most people have actual lives outside work. It doesn’t hurt your career one bit.
That being said, if you can show that you have played around with some frameworks and stuff like that since you’re doing web dev with at least one or two little examples it MIGHT help with your initial job but you’ve probably done class projects too that you can show off. Don’t worry about going all out/beat yourself up. I struggled with depression a lot when I was in school and ended up fine on the other side. You’re going to do great.
Good job nonny
, you're doing god's work protecting other women from old manipulative scrotes
Thank you nonny
. I will keep hanging in there. I know I definitely need to have good things in my portfolio but you're right their words seem a lot like bravado. I'm sure them being genuinely passionate is also part but it's good to hear from someone else that you don't have to be. I'm really touched by your faith in me, and I'm glad it worked out for you!! I hope I can be the same
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i seduced the crush of my gay moid acquaintance for no other reason than petty jealously. e.g. my gay moid is a better writer than me, is more charismatic than me, a better artist, makes friends easier than i do, but he's a GUY and the dude he was crushing on was obviously straight (and interested in me). i just wanted to be better than him at something/steal something away from him, idk.
i don't intend to date him for long, we're not even going to have sex, but the look on my moid acquaintance's face when his crush let slip we were "finally together" satisfied me for a short while.
Absolutely based. Age gaps in relationships need to be shat on more because it's 99.9% always a (much) older moid with a younger woman for the wrong reasons. Fucking filled across media shilling that garbage from when we're young girls.
My new university group chat was bantering about ganging up on some older guy who hit on one of our classmates. When she told him she's 18 he replied "That's perfect". It was all fun and games laughing at this creep until the 27 year old scrote in the chat tried defending the guy like "It's only a 5 year gap bros" "she's legal anyway, so how is he a perv" "she's already 18" I wanted to reply but the topic changed by the time I opened the chat.
No such thing as a scrote maturing with age, they aren't socialized for that the way women are expected to be mature even earlier in their lives. Only thing an older scrote is good for is to remind him about his receding hairline, shitstain boxers and saggy balls.
i don't get this meme
is it saying that you guys don't care about the text in my post or is corpse bride somehow related to my situation
The problem right now is that the "creepy older man" trope is bounced over to wrinkly ugly senior citizens, which lets the mediocre late 20s-mid 30s think that holding down a full time job is criteria enough to be the "cool, mature, older guy" to younger girls that don't know better.
If Twitter/FB/IG/whatever spent less time on trannies and more time shaming sly and predatory scrotes, even if it's just public relationships like Billie's and Olivia's, young girls could have a chance to understand it before unfortunately experiencing it themselves.
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This happened to me a while ago, except I wasn’t a mutual, I just regularly looked at her page. One day I couldn’t find her again, even searching different names she could have used if she changed names plus looking at my follow list, but to no avail. I still think about her, because I regret not having any courage to try talking to her. Many such cases.
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This happened nonita
Don’t compare yourself to the moid though, there’s no reason to. Hopefully this can be cathartic for you and you can leave him in the past.
Thanks, I was thinking the same thing.
And ngl, if some scrote admitted to fucking a woman solely on the basis of scorning the lesbian he was jealous of, we'd roast him.
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I’m 19 and so ready to die can something hurry up I’m ready to go to hell already
I just found out recently men can get fillers in their dick to make it bigger. They have no excuse now!
Anyway sorry to hear that, it's nightmare fuel and I have dumped an otherwise great guy for it. Can't help what I'm attracted to and I never regretted it for a second.
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Just hold his dick and pull it so far back and really stretch it out like a slinky, problem solved
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If you want your moid to have a functioning dick have him jelq, go on runs, and chug water. Hope you can start your build a dick journey with this advice anon
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I am at my fucking limit with scrotes at the gym. They’re so fucking brazen, just leering whenever you walk, lift, workout, breathe. I’m actively trying to pretend they don’t exist and avoid eye contact and they just stare like the worthless moids they are trying to catch eye contact.
I try and dress as invisible (black hoodie, hair tied back in a bun, stereo headphones on to block out their obnoxious grunting, black track pants and converse) as possible to them and yet.
I want to watch the world burn.
Heh.> implying that they do actual sideprojects instead of aimlessly browsing 4chan and janking their pepper to anime all day
People overstate how much work they are doing. They are procrastinating all day.
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i’ve been sleeping terrible lately and now i woke up feeling like i didn’t rest well at all and it feels excruciating. it’s like imaginary pain you can’t access or really describe, it’s nothing physical but everything perceived in your mind. when i started waking up i saw a bottle that said 666 in it, is it a demon trying to fuck my shit up or depression, which one could it even be
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>"""""""""""radfem"""""""""" "friend" posts something on facebook about reggaeton, an hypersexual and violent genere of music, being a good thing and very empowering (lyrics literally say "put them in my mouth so they don't fit" or whatever)
>tell """""""""radfem""""""""""" "friend" why that's actually degrading and not empowering at all
>get told "BEING SEXUAL IS GOOD AND DESTROYS THE PATRIARCHY"
>tell her pornification of women just objectifies us and we can live a healthy sexuality without playing into scrote games
>"YOURE INFANTILIZING ME, YOU'RE NOT TELLING ME YOUR OPINION JUST A BUNCH OF INFORMATION"
>I'm not, but sorry you felt that way
>UUUUUH THATS LITERALLY GASLIGHTING???? AND MANIPULATION???????????? WHY ARE YOU SO DRAMATIC
I deleted my facebook afterwards, I am tired of these people. I swear to god. I will never give my fucking opinon to anyone on social media ever again. I thought I could trust because she's a "friend", guess not. She even told me "DONT PULL THE WOMAN CARD!!!!!"
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I feel so violent right now.
Why is she calling herself radfem?
Tell her to go read Andrea Dworkin.
When I see a good father, whether in real life or media, I get overwhelmed with this sadness. My grandfather on my mom's side was actually the perfect dad. He never so much as yelled at anybody, save for a time when my mom was young and some retarded scrotes were bothering her. He's the only reason I have a modicum of faith in men, but he died when I was 17. So now I don't have that reminder, that men can be good and thoughtful. And when I see it in real life, I either don't believe it or just pity myself. What did I do to deserve a sociopathic father? My daddy issues follow me wherever I go, even though I cut ties with my father when I was 16. I just can't get over it. Even from my earliest memories, I hated my father. I never felt love for him, even before I could realize the way he treated me was legitimately evil. I thought it was normal, actually, and that I was the evil one for hating my father so much. I always prayed he would just die. I still do. I'm happy for people who get to have good fathers, I am. I just have this retarded "why me?" thought almost every day. I hate people with victim complexes like that, so I try my best not to feel sorry for myself. But God, I hate men.
Because she hates men. That's all. No other basis.
Otherwise she's your typical libfem. And telling her to read andrea dworkin will only cause her to rage even more at me and accuse me of "infantilization" (wtf).
How do I retain my openness towards a romantic relationship when these stories fill me with vitriol. Fathers, brothers, grandfathers, husbands, sons, uncles, teachers, doctors, religious leaders. It happens so often, I know so many girls who have been hurt, and hear it so often on the news even though I try to avoid the news because of this. I feel so sick to my stomach.
It actually sucks that men are raised differently than women. It's why we can't understand them as well. If humans in general weren't so pig headed towards the opposite sex, I feel we'd be getting someplace.
But this is akin to wanting world peace, and thus I remain on a board filled with other depressed individuals, venting about shit I can't change unless I create a cult.
If the world was perfect, I'd raise both as neutrally as possible. examples are: letting both play with whatever toys they want, or following a subjects they want regardless of being masculine/feminine to my culture or not.
I'd express disdain and attempt to talk them in circles in a non aggressive way when they are sexist (regardless of sex).
Why I say it's a fairy tale or wishful thinking, is that any culture I have lived in, or visited/studied is culturally sexist (regardless of sex).
It's like people can't break themselves from the narrative or even from the cultural cult they were born into.
If I were to make an attempt to help society, I'd first get them to travel, and I don't mean this lightly. I believe everyone needs to travel in order to understand humans at their base. We can't understand other's until we live their life (going for 3 years in a new country/culture)
i dont know why i keep giving people chances. i think it's because they're my best friends so it hurts to accept that they're inconsiderate of me. also, it hurts to accept that they just don't treat me well/can be rude to me.
my ex (as of like, 2 weeks?) will be in town and apparently i agreed to meeting up with her (i probably did but that was weeks ago and i dont remember) but i texted her saying i'm not ready yet and she just replied "Word." and is giving me the silent treatment. idk why i keep giving her chances bc she's fucked everything in my life up for over a year and realistically i shouldn't have any communication with her at all.
i have another friend in town, my best friend who also is my ex lol, and she always says that i'm the only one who listens to her and really cares for her. in reality, i'm always there for her, but she's never there for me. for example, i told her i attempted suicide recently, and that i was not feeling good now and wanted her to be there for me bc i was scared and she told me she can't help because she's working. she works from home and basically can change her hours. then she texted me "Can you just go to the hospital". I think she thought i was attention seeking but i literally wasn't and needed her so badly but instead she messaged my roommate to check up on me. since then she acts like nothing happened
i've set a boundary with her about not talking about a certain person who i don't like/makes me feel really shitty, and she's broken that boundary twice. right when she arrived in town and came to my house, the person in question was at the door dropping her luggage off. then she brought him up later to gossip bc she "had no one else to tell this about."
my other friends and therapist keep asking me why i don't just drop them and idk. it's not easy but i'm trying to not talk to them frequently im just plain retarded and have no self respect
Have you ever tried plain Vaseline? Sometimes they sell them in teeny tiny containers specifically for lips.
Also, idk if it’s available wherever you are but in my time working in a sex shop I came across somthing called Uberlube and it’s like such a good multipurpose silicon based lube. You can use it on your lips. (And on chub rub, a hair defrizzer, dry skin, etc. ) it’s available online if you can get it.
google trauma reenactment
you can help unlearn some of these desires in therapy but it'll take a little while and some other form of opening up>>930648
wanna be friends anon?>>930752
you didn't deserve it anon. But you should know that talking about it with your family might really help you. it's extremely unlikely that the people bullying you were actually hating you or thought you seriously deserved it. they were probably being shitty teenagers and weren't mentally mature enough or not considering what sort of affect it would have on the other person. Please dont take anything to heart, I know that sounds easy to say over the internet. But remember your value, you're a great person inside and out and you should never define yourself by someone else's sadism. Chances are they just saw an easy target and wanted some cheap laughs.
You can beat this pain, I can promise you that. It's going to take some time, some working on things and changing how you perceive and define yourself but you can escape those events and feelings. PTSD isn't a joke, it is part of your life until you work through it and regain your strength and self-worth. But you can absolutely beat it and become stronger for it. You may want to see a therapist or start reading some self-help books for this sort of thing, you can do wonders for yourself if you really commit and try. I believe in you, anon, good luck and I hope you recover and love yourself.
happy birthday anon
if you want a present I will buy you one
tbh where is the line though? because i struggle with this too.
on one hand i think a woman should be allowed to dress how she wants if it makes her happy (to use an extreme example, if a lady wants to dress like the bimbo meme ok. you do that). on the other hand it's like…okay. how are you empowering women and destroying the patriarchy by doing Exactly what the patriarchy wants you to do, even if you Are doing it for yourself.
just riddles my brain sometimes lol. it makes me wonder if african americans would've gotten anywhere had they done things white people wanted them to do, e.g. sat at the back of the bus with zero complaints (because sitting at the back of the bus was comfy! idk) instead of rallying against yts
to add onto this: i don't get the whole idea of 'reclaiming slurs' anyway. i mean yeah, if a lesbian calls herself a dyke regularly – good for her but everyone that uses it against her is going to agree lol.
nevermind that the main people i see 'reclaiming' them are those that shouldn't be using them anyway (e.g. trannies and people that are like white-passing).
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The last two years have been so shitty, it made me a lot more suicidal and depressed.
I lost my dad to covid and cancer, never got to say goodbye, had a friendship breakup with my best friend, lost an uncle to a stroke, lost my job a few months ago, fucked up my knee and can't exercise as before and now I lost a chance at getting an education. I fucking hate life.
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anons shit on old scrotes and age gap relationships on /ot/ and then lust over old scrotes on /g/
why is abusive
redtexted thats so retarded
This, they already have the unconventional male attractions thread to simp for haggard looking moids, why do they always have to shit up the conventionally attractive men thread too?>>934099
Hollywood geriatrics aren't any less manipulative and predatory than regular ass old men who have Peter Pan syndrome and lust after women who are half their age, so does it really make a difference?
It's a beautiful plastic bag, nonny
. You're missing the point.
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the mental gymnastics..
are you triggered nonny
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>started cleaning the house
>mfw getting shit done and working up a sweat
Wow fuck you anon that actually fucking scared me.>>934199
He's not home right now. Luckily it's staying still so maybe it'll still be in the same position for him to kill it when he comes back.
I love my dog so much, she is the love of my life, my sunshine, my whole entire world. I love her so, so much. But I feel like an awful owner, I feel like I’ve never done right by her, I feel like I’m neglectful and haven’t paid enough attention to her. She apparently coughed up blood this morning, so we have to take her to the vet soon. She was diagnosed with kidney failure 2 years ago, but seemed to get a lot better after we switched her to fresh food. She’s 17 now, so the inevitable has really been around the corner for the longest time. Is it here now? Are we turning the corner? Do I have to say goodbye? I often think about what it would be like, returning home to her lifeless body. Or crying uncontrollably in the vets office as I say goodbye.
I am so sad anons. I already can’t stop crying. Who knows? Maybe the vet will just say it was a fluke. But she’s 17 now, with bad teeth, bad eyesight, and probably bad hearing too (or maybe she pretends to not hear me as always). I don’t have high hopes. I think back on all the days when I was younger, and older, and opted to play games or scroll on my phone instead of being with her. And now she’s old, and now I’m flooded with regret and I hate myself for being like this. I feel like she has been too good for me and my family, the most precious and beautiful little dog, and we haven’t done enough to repay her for her company and love. I don’t want to give up the soft feeling of her fur, the tiny little pitter patter of her feet, her barks when she is hungry. I don’t want to say goodbye yet. I’m supposed to go out with friends tomorrow, but all I want to do is stay at home. But is there any use of crying next to her while she sleeps? I feel like I have to be next to her. I don’t know nonnies. I’m just so fucking sad right now.
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>>934127>muh Mads-kun is not like the other geriatrics
Rofl the cope. Just admit that you have a thing for liver spotted old men.
Nonnies I’m so beyond disturbed right now, I feel so awful. I found out that an old teacher of mine had a relationship with a 14/15 year old today and it’s just shocked me so much. I had her as a teacher once in middle school, and I used to think she was so amazing. I would even come back in high school to help with art related things. It’s just so weird because I think of all that, and now coming to terms with what she’s done is so shocking and I feel so weird. I just genuinely thought it would never happen in a school of mine, even less a teacher I knew well. Just beyond fucked up. So weird to see a teacher I know the voice and face of being arrested and pregnant from all this. Plus it being out in the open, because the student would show his classmates the video of them, you can assume what they did I don’t even want to type it. I feel so sick, and have had a crushing headache from how disturbed this makes me. I even had a dream today about the school, when I haven’t had one there in years, and I woke up so drained from it. Thankfully now it’s a little more behind me, but it really put my day in for a loop. Just what the fuck.
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trying to reconcile with the fact that people entering and leaving my life is perfectly natural. it's going to hurt, but it's fine: this will happen. you can't keep anyone with you forever. not every friendship ends on a loud, obvious note; some just taper off. it's okay.
i'm also trying to realize that i don't want to play genshin anymore, i just want to play it with her, since it seems to be our sole connective interest. but it's a waste of my time.
just gotta relax.
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no but actually knowing i'm losing someone who i Really wanted to be my friend is painful as hell. the feeling is so shitty that i almost wish i had never tried actually reaching out to people. but i mean, this always happens. it never not happens. it just keeps happening.
how many people do i need to leave me until i get the point? lmfao
it was a small forum so nah. id actually understand if it was twitter/instagram bc then it was likely triggered
by a specific word/phrase
This is how I see it:
I like Doja Cat a lot
But not because I like and chose to consume Doja Cat, it means Doja Cat songs are empowering
Some women degrade themselves
But not because one woman chose to, it means we all should find it empowering
Do you get me?
I hate when that happens so much
i know right, it's the worst feeling.
she's hanging out with fucked up people now and prioritizing them over me, despite complaining to me about them all the time. like they're so fucking weird and ill intentioned. idgi but i guess that's what moving to nyc does to some people. she also just doesn't care about my feelings/boundaries i've set, and that's saying a lot because i'm an extremely low maintenance friend
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I love ditching bad friends and not giving them the satisfaction of closure. No final argument, I just delete you and ghost.
Yes, feel that weight, confusion and guilt on your shoulders. Can't lie or gaslight when it's you on your own. You will never know the truth, but you will be forced to reflect on your own actions, and your personality. You'll start to resent yourself in a way you wouldn't have if I had directly told you, and that's really the best punishment I can think of. It's what you deserve. Was it worth it, dummy?
Nope, you can keep these projections free of charge lol. I'm not going to tolerate being emotionally abused by people I thought were my friends, repeatedly getting shat on when I try to repair things (even when I wasn't actually the one who attacked) and then give them the satisfaction of ~explaining myself~ for all their troubles. It will always be better to just walk.
If this is what you've done and the person ghosted, sorry you lost your scapegoats, maybe try to be less shitty
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holy shit shut the fuck up and die honestly, nta just no one cares(a-logging)
Yeah, you're right. The people involved were extremely shitty and toxic
, but I should've expected I'd trigger
that same breed even on Lolcow lol
>>934307>Yeah, you're right. The people involved were extremely shitty and toxic, but I should've expected I'd trigger that same breed even on Lolcow lol
Yeah exactly. They probably are projecting their own insecurities on how ex friends suddenly ghosted them or whatever. Not every relationship should end with a bang, not every relationship should be like "Hey x this is why we shouldn't be friends anymore…" some people just don't feel right anymore and we outgrow them. It's better to let them go.
Just ignore these anons, let them seethe by themselves.
Also NTA, but it sounds like you've never been in an abusive
How the hell do you deduce I've never been in an abusive
relationship just because I point out that Anons friends won't self reflect over Anon's silence lmfao. They're graywalling toxic
friends, not an abusive
ex kek. I'll repeat myself again…anon doesn't need a fiery blow up ending to their friendships, but they're definitely delusional in thinking that their silence will incur any self reflection or self hate.
I'm the OP, I'll be pretty surprised if you can find any post where I labeled myself an "empath". I think it's a dumb term, every (normal) person has some degree of empathy
Are you one of those people who throws around terms with serious meanings like "narcissist" or "sociopath" whenever someone sort of annoys you?
It's all well and good when you're getting abused tbh, the issue I have with ghosting is when none of that happens and people just throw away other people as in "Welp, I'm bored, time to move on". That is scummy and the mark of someone that either isn't mature emotionally or has their brain too fried off of the Internet.
Yes I'm talking about you, S.
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>>934370>I love ditching bad friends
Do normal, not toxic
people have so much glee over this? Most just walk away for their own good, not to punish the other.>not giving them the satisfaction of closure. No final argument, I just delete you and ghost.
This is why ghosting is considered a form of manipulation or abuse too.>Yes, feel that weight, confusion and guilt on your shoulders. Can't lie or gaslight when it's you on your own.
Do normal, not toxic
people have so much glee over this? Bit sadistic.>You will never know the truth, but you will be forced to reflect on your own actions, and your personality.
You started with the projecting yourself, right here. >and that's really the best punishment I can think of
Do normal, not toxic
people feel the need to punish their friends for being 'bad'?
I agree with this, but also, I think it's a dodged bullet if a "friend" just up and leaves. Someone who can just drop you when nothing was even wrong is definitely not worth your time. Better they cut themselves out of the picture>>934377
What's your idea of a "bad friend", and what image of the people I abandoned do you have in mind to conclude that the issue lies squarely on whoever leaves them? >You started with the projecting yourself, right here.
This isn't projection, because I do know the truth of why I left, and I made that decision after self-reflecting and realizing there was no point.
Why would it be manipulative or toxic
to abandon people who mistreat you? You don't need to explain yourself, or sit there and try to fix a situation where you're being used or abused
It seems like you're filling in the blanks of a situation you don't know with your own painful and/or undeserved experiences, and getting defensive because, again, projection. That, or you actually have been an awful friend, you know it in your heart, and you feel called out
You keep going on and on how people who question your gloating victim
narrative must be bad friends, full of guilt, got ghosted etc…are you sure you're not the one projecting?
>>934379>It seems like you're filling in the blanks of a situation you don't know with your own painful and/or undeserved experiences
Aren't you doing this right now towards me?>and getting defensive because, again, projection.
Aren't you getting defensive and projecting?>That, or you actually have been an awful friend, you know it in your heart, and you feel called out
It seems like you're filling in the blanks of a situation you don't know with your own painful and/or undeserved experiences…
I'm actually a ghoster, that is what made me the awful friend, even though I have my own rationalizations for why it was justified too ofc. Toxic
people seek out toxic
people too, not saying it's completely your fault, that is what you make of it. You also seem weirdly obsessed with making people feel bad with the "you know it in your heart".
If you want me to stop posting, then you can always stop replying. My post wasn't aimed at anyone, but some anons obviously wanted to talk, and it's Saturday, so why not
I keep saying it because I'm not sure why else it'd trigger
someone so much. Can you explain? I'd love to find out>>934385
If you think just mentioning the act of projection must be an insult or a defense (rather than a possible explanation), then you might want to read more about it. This isn't even an attack, it's a common thing that people do and I genuinely think it's what you're doing here>I'm actually a ghoster, that is what made me the awful friend, even though I have my own rationalizations for why it was justified too ofc
So, what are you upset about, exactly? Do you doubt your own actions, and think my own situation is similar? What made you imagine me as a "narcissist" who labels themselves an "empath"? The repeated "Aren't you..", "Do normal, not toxic
people…" also reads as pretty obsessive and accusatory, so of course I'd assume you have some personal problem. >Toxic people seek out toxic people too, not saying it's completely your fault, that is what you make of it.
I don't really know what this means in this context. I didn't seek out toxic
people, quite the opposite, but I don't see much reason to blog any more
Also, it's weird to automatically associate guilt with the phrase "you know it in your heart", I don't know what to tell you. It really just means you know something in your own mind, even if you won't say it out loud
>>934388>If you think just mentioning the act of projection must be an insult or a defense (rather than a possible explanation), then you might want to read more about it. This isn't even an attack, it's a common thing that people do and I genuinely think it's what you're doing here
You're assuming I see it as an insult or defense. I'm saying it's ironic you accuse people of that, when you were projecting towards your 'bad' friends in the first place. I think you're being defensive due to the sperging/schizo posting. >So, what are you upset about, exactly? Do you doubt your own actions, and think my own situation is similar? What made you imagine me as a "narcissist" who labels themselves an "empath"? The repeated "Aren't you..", "Do normal, not toxic people…" also reads as pretty obsessive and accusatory, so of course I'd assume you have some personal problem.
You think I'm upset? You are right with assuming I have a personal problem, but instead of reading what I actually wrote and looking at the memes, you are making up your own explanations.>I don't really know what this means in this context. I didn't seek out toxic people, quite the opposite
Then how come you end up with 'bad' friends who gaslight you and you feel the need to punish?>Also, it's weird to automatically associate guilt with the phrase "you know it in your heart", I don't know what to tell you. It really just means you know something in your own mind, even if you won't say it out loud
You really aren't self aware at all. You think your 'bad' friends are the only gaslighters? Look in the mirror.
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>>934392>You're assuming I see it as an insult or defense.
That's not an assumption, you said: "Aren't you getting defensive and projecting?". If I'm wrong, then feel free to explain. This whole thing just seems like you assuming things and getting pissy, then claiming I'm the one sperging or schizo posting while you make up narratives and spam the same thing over and over.>You think I'm upset?
Yeah>You are right with assuming I have a personal problem, but instead of reading what I actually wrote and looking at the memes, you are making up your own explanations.
Okay, you having a personal problem is what I was wondering about. This conversation is kind of pointless then, because it means you'll probably keep pushing words and scenarios about this. It's not even about me, really. I'm sure that's also why you couldn't answer any of the questions I asked
I hope you can recover from what happened with you and your friend(s), but it really has nothing to do with me, and going full autismo at an anonymous person won't help you
I also had to have looked at the meme and read what you wrote to have even replied up to this point, but I feel like you already know that, and just added that part because you really wanted a reply (on top of the not-so-subtle victim
blaming and "no u, stop gaslighting me by saying I was wrong to assume something about you"). Very good bait anon, had me questioning for a second(infighting )
For it to be a "no u", I'd have had to have been someone who got ghosted imagining wild stories about someone who's ghosting. I just can't imagine why it'd make someone as irritated as some anons were to read that unless there's a personal element involved.
I saw them seething and having rage meltdowns about it, so obviously there was an impact, and I found it funny after all the fucked up things they did. I'm happy because they fully deserve to feel that way. If they never change, then I guess both that (and worse) will keep happening as multiple other people wake up to their bullshit, and that's also entertaining
>>934397> hope you can recover from what happened with you and your friend(s), but it really has nothing to do with me, and going full autismo at an anonymous person won't help you
You really are fucking retarded. Do I need to spell it out to you? I'm a narcissist who ghosts people and then comes up with rationalizations as to why I'm the victim
. Even if they are shitty people, ghosting and gloating about the pain you imagine they are going through, isn't normal behavior. I've become a bit more self aware about my behavior, still don't feel guilty about it and I'm trying to warn you. I have been up front about this, but you are instead trying to psychoanalzye me over what you imagined. >I also had to have looked at the meme and read what you wrote to have even replied up to this point, but I feel like you already know that, and just added that part because you really wanted a reply (on top of the not-so-subtle victim blaming and "no u, stop gaslighting me by saying I was wrong to assume something about you"). Very good bait anon, had me questioning for a second
You're not the only victim
in your story, your are literally victimizing your friends by imagining they are going through pain by the things you do to them. You see it as victim
blaming the moment someone says that you might not be the perfect saint in your story. I never told you to stop, I'm just pointing it out that you're doing the exact behavior you deem people 'bad' over. Yes you should question yourself ffs
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At first I was just going to reply with pic related, but then I saw>I'm a narcissist
Now I'm even more glad not to read. I dumped a group of awful people, don't need to hear from another
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I'm not sure if you meant to reply to me or the "I'm a narcissist" anon right here >>934411, but either way, kek
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I'm trying to buy a new sex toy (dildo) but so many sites seem to be catering to fetishists and troons/men. I just want as normal dildo and a normal pack of lube. Why is being a woman suffering??
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this, young Mads was god tier though
>>934442>NTA, but admitting to being a narcissist, and diagnosing someone you don't know with it is textbook projection.
What do you call the type of behavior when you think you are punishing your friends by denying them your supposedly great presence? Also no shit Sherlock. >You self-admittedly ghost people and victimize yourself about it.
Yes, but where did I victimize myself about it? I realize I'm the problem and that I get myself in those situations? I am the one picking 'bad' friends. OP did the same thing while in denial, she doesn't have to kys?>>934445
Yeah, I will. Sorry.(infighting )
>>934441>I think your narc ass is just seething and projecting because you've fucked over so many people in the past that you know they're probably thinking the same about you lmao.
This. The whole idea that you're actually a victim
if you abuse someone and they leave you is classic narc cope. I think Onision said the same shit once about Billie
So, you admit that you're just projecting, but you expect to be taken seriously?
If a person's presence is not great, and they leave a group where things were going badly, it's a good thing. Not a punishment. Those people will probably be glad to see a toxic
influence leave, and that toxic
influence is also happy with the outcome. They never have to interact again.
If the person's presence is
great, and they leave after being gravely mistreated, that's also a good thing. The person is free of that influence, and the group might feel bad, or at least get angry. If not, they probably won't care, and the person is still free. All in all, it's a good thing. What's wrong here?>Yes, but where did I victimize myself about it?
You admitted you do just that, you said you rationalize why you're the victim
every time.>I realize I'm the problem and that I get myself in those situations?
No, this is great for you.>I am the one picking 'bad' friends. OP did the same thing while in denial, she doesn't have to kys?
This is still you. You are confusing yourself with others. People do get abused, manipulated and exploited in the world without "picking" it. Just because it doesn't happen to you, doesn't mean it can't happen to others
Wtf I'm either apparently victimizing myself over being a ghoster or I'm supposedly seething over being ghosted. Which is it?
I'm a narc because I ghost, the ghosting is my narc behavior. I put myself in those situations. I'm not the victim
when I ghost people. Being vindictive isn't okay. Normal people ghost for their own good, not to punish perceived slights. OP could use some therapy too, that's all I'm saying jeez.
I agree with 99% of what you're saying? Me and other anons were trying to tell OP it's probably not a punishment to them, but the intention is weird either way. > People do get abused, manipulated and exploited in the world without "picking" it. Just because it doesn't happen to you, doesn't mean it can't happen to others
You should look up why people turn into narcs, it has happened to me too, but the world isn't black and white.
You were posting pure projection and narc autism. Others said it's probably not really a punishment to those people, but you went the extra mile to make it about you and make others into clones of you for some reason. That's actually weird as hell, I agree you need more therapy.>You should look up why people turn into narcs, it has happened to me too, but the world isn't black and white.
If you understand that, it's better not to apply black and white thinking to random shit like this, either
Ghosting isn't inherently narc behavior. It's literally safer to ghost abusive
scrotes at times, same goes for all other kinds of abusive
people. Looking at something like that and saying "Ackshelly it's two parties being victimized here" is brain dead.
It's 100% okay to be vindictive sometimes, especially after you haven't actually attacked anyone, but done something ultimately for your own good. If you don't do that, okay, but that doesn't mean everyone is you
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I haven't seen my family in three years, their health keeps declining and they are under danger right now. I can't even visit them because of COVID and my own shitty health.
I miss them because I know there's no way I'd be treated as an actually family member in partners family. His mother and grandmother, along with father and his wife like me, but bitch of a sister in law keeps throwing rocks on me and tries to make sure to distance me from everyone. She is also spending a whole year trying to turn their stepbrother and fathers side against me by making up bullshit. She acts like a victim in every situation while being a lazy manipulator that hates everyone unless they can give her something. She keeps brainwashing the kid because it's easy for her - they don't live together so he doesn't know how much of a terrible bitch she is IRL.
Now, I am done. I don't want to spend my time gifting her a gift on birthday or on Christmas, because it's second year in a row where she fucks up my own birthday celebration on purpose. I am tired. I want at least a little bit of warmth in my life, not a reminder that I will never belong anywhere and that my guardians are dying. I am so sick of everything. I am so alone. She is six years older than me but acts like a fucking idiot. I spent my time gifting her a gift on a fucking names day and she didn't say thank you or even reacted to it. Last Christmas she gifted me shit off AliExpress while giving massive gifts to others. I am so done.
For non-narcs, it can be both. It's not all or nothing. You can feel better about leaving behind abusive
people, and be smug about it when they seethe. That's not a bad thing
God who fucking cares if anon is resentful for being treated badly. That's a normal human emotion. Why are we expected to coddle shitty people and abusers or else we're not the ~perfect victim
You should probably look up what psychological projection is before you use it incorrectly again.
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asians seem to be obsessed with him
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Sorry for thinking this comes across unhinged, as a fellow unhinged person. Also I used the search function and cannot find you mentioning screenshots elsewhere. Can't we just agree we both need therapy?
Then you must have missed>>934338>>934398
The second one I'm sure you already saw, since you got mad at the anon who replied to me, thinking they meant you. I'm not sure if you're lying about seeing that post (why do that when I could just prove you wrong again? narc trait again?), and I'm not sure what you hoped to prove by posting a screenshot of the OP I wrote that we can all read, but it's okay. Multiple people have pointed out why your tirades don't make sense, and even if I'm not a narc, it's still pretty autistic of me to expect you to make sense at any point
anon, I really needed that vent you posted today because I used to feel so guilty about ghosting too.
the thing is, these bad people aren't entitled to our time and company. a relationship is a two way street, both people should be having a good time. the thing I notice is, the people who mention upfront how they hate friends who aren't loyal are usually the ones who are abusive, and want you to stay out of courtesy or some social norm not because they're enjoying the relationship.
if I had stayed in the relationship, I knew that I would just be asking for these situations where I get hurt over and over again, meaning I'm not a victim, and I never want to be in a position where I'm a victim. and I did used to feel guilty for ghosting and I'd apologize how that's immature of me, but these abusers will just smirk and disrespect you even more for that. the only language narcissists understand is withdrawal of attention. and if they dont get your message, they will suffer the same fate over and over again. with friends I cared about, I would usually have lots of conversations beforehand on the things I'm not happy with. the thing is: "they know, they don't care" so it's not like ghosting is out of the blue, if they were paying attention to your feelings. Ghosting is only out of the blue because they assumed you'd keep taking their shit.
I do this too, not because I get any pleasure out of it or believe it will teach bad people lessons like introspection.
No, it's because most people really can't handle the reasons for why a friendship needs to end and why it's partially their fault. Every time I've tried to let someone know what action or trait within themselves was generally toxic
, they always try to reverse the point and make it about me somehow so they don't have to feel guilty. It takes a lot of courage to work up telling them the truth, and so it isn't worth having it blow up in my face because other people don't want to admit when they were acting ugly.
Better for them to believe the friendships naturally grew distant and faded. Most of the time, the people I end up doing this to are so self-obsessed that they don't even notice when people pull away like this anyway.
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This period is kicking my butt, I hope it ends early with how much I bled between yesterday and this morning.
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I think I just want to hold a man and cuddle for a while, but the only man I know more than on a completely professional relationship/casual acquaintance level lives abroad. I'm not even horny anymore, I just want to sniff a man.
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I have no social life and decided to go to a meetup today but I stressed out about wanting to look perfect and did my makeup for too fucking long and then realized that I'd be late by 30 minutes if I still decided to go, so I did not end up going. I literally prepared for this the whole fucking week. I ended up angrywalking to the store instead to buy some watermelon flavored cider and now I'm in my bed drinking alcohol, crying and browsing lolcow. I want to fucking die.
Anon please don't worry so much. It's okay, I bet you look very pretty right now. I don't think it was for nothing, the pressure you felt wasn't going to help you at the meeting anyways.
I wish I could help you in some way. All I can say is try to get some relaxing music and sleep. It seems you suffer from anxiety. Have you tried any natural herbal pills for that? They always help me when some event is causing me trouble. I take one before going out too because I can be a nervious wreck.
Please don't drink any more alcohol. Alcohol is a depressant, and it will only make you feel worse. Why don't you buy your favorite food tomorrow instead? Watch some movie while you eat. Cuddle a plush for company. I bet it'll be fun.
You know, people do their makeup and wear pretty clothes for themselves all the time, they don't necessarily go out. I think you did a good job today. Please feel accomplished about it.
I genuinely think if you have the right mindset, age does not matter and you can have fun anytime. Don't force yourselves to be mature either. It'll all eventually come.
And even if you don't go out and fuck around like you used to, maybe you'll find some other thing to be passionate about and focus on that.
Oh I've been in that position anon, for several outcomes since I went to so many meetups before covid. I've also stood outside the meeting place before deciding I won't go in and just walking around the city.
Also maybe think about if it's a good thing to come late? By then the ice is usually broken with people and you're not awkwardly standing about with the host. However, if you're early/on time, you can have the upper hand power wise because all you have to do is say hello to the newcomers and are automatically perceived as part of the group if you know what I meanm and can make much less effort.
Another thing, from an anxiety perspective, is it's much better IMO to be underprepared than overprepared for these things. Dress in whatever clothes you'd wear on any day, keep yourself busy right until you need to walk out to meet. Don't hesitate, you can think your first thought about what you're doing after you're standing in front of the group having said hello.
My comment has a bossy tone, i'm not taking the effort to rephrase it but I mean well.
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I'm so close to making a gofundme and scamming trannies and brain dead TRAs to fund a surgery, everywhere I go I feel like I'm seeing corporations and society getting on their knees and sucking tranny cock with their "we WILL pay for/reimburse your breast implants or FFS!" and it's driving me fucking crazy I just want to feel comfortable in my body
My life has only become better as I've left behind my teens have aged into my twenties. I'm 25 now and I can genuinely say I am happier and enjoying life more than I was at 15 and 20.>>934624
Don't take it out on yourself so much, you'll have another chance again. I bet this wasn't the first or last meetup you can attend.
I think for me 18-21 was a very special time, I moved out of my abusive
childhood home, moved to a new city and started school, I felt such an immense sense of freedom, joy, and naive optimism. But then eventually my repressed trauma caught up to me. After I graduated, mental illness and real life slapped me in the face. Also, two of my closest friends died just two weeks after my 24th birthday. Life just feels so heavy. I’m 26 now and I would do anything to be carefree, full of hope and excited about life again.
People who force themselves to be mature, settle down and wear beige instead of just doing what they like always come off as really insecure in a very grating way. They then try to rub off that insecurity on others.
I have a friend who is about to turn 30 and she's really not taking it well. She never shuts up about being too old for anything fun, having wrinkles or being insecure that people can tell she is 30 (she's a heavy smoker and has years of professional experience, of course people can tell you're not 23 anymore).
I am three years younger than her and she won't stop pushing her insecurities about aging onto me. She thinks her life situation applies to me, calls me a fellow boomer, never shuts up about us being two old hags who are too old and haggard for anything, and negs me about using any social media that isn't facebook, because that's supposedly for young people too.
I am still young, I have no wrinkles, I like to go out and have fun and I dress how I want. I like my life and am honestly considering dropping her as a friend because she does nothing but moan about her age and make me feel like shit. Any age is a good age as long as you're confident and do what makes you happy.
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I’m definitely turning into an anachan. Everything I eat is just so off-putting or I never can finish it anymore, pretty sure it’s just the consequences of my depression but I’m not interested in eating things anymore and it makes me really scared because my body always feels so weird. I just don’t know why my brain is so disinterested in eating? I’m kind of terrified.
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>my dad goes back to his third world country where people don’t own pets, but they’re plenty of street cats and dogs
>he tells me his family adopts a German shepherd puppy from a breeder and sends a cute video of the puppy
>decide not to tell him why buying a puppy from a breeder is bad because they already bought it and the damage is done
>days later, my dad calls me
>after talking for a little bit, I ask innocently about the puppy
>he says he died
>they apparently put a metal chain around the puppy’s neck because it was ‘shitting everywhere’ , which led to the dog falling from a tall height, with the chain still attached to his neck
>so he died from being hung
>call him and his family animal abusers and insult him for letting a puppy die due to neglect
>he didn’t seem all that bothered by the puppy’s death, just as an unfortunate accident
I still don’t know if the puppy died instantly by having it’s neck snapped or not, but the implication that that poor little puppy may have slowly suffocated to death made me cry instantly. I know I never actually met the puppy but I Jesus fucking Christ
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The Sephora point system is gay af, I have over 1,000 points and I’m not even rouge yet.
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I ate an entire cheesecake and now I feel sick, it was huge. god I don't know why I'm doing this to myself. I was fine on zero sugar diet but after I got my first job I can't survive a day without tons of sweets. I'm exhausted all the time, my muscles hurt, and sugar gives me a rush of evergy. But then I'm very sleepy and tired so… I eat sweets again. It's a never ending cycle
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I'm so fucking tired of twitter trannies ruining my culture and my interests by making it all about them. Stop drawing your unwashed ugly "diverse" OCs that you clearly only made for twitter woke points, as a member of those cultures it's obvious you did no research and just see us as stereotypes who need to be wokeified.
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I know this is fucked up, but why the fuck are you reading this spoiler, idiot? are you bored? did you think I would tell you some juicy gossip? hell nah. Fuck u biotch! And this is why I love lolcow.
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I AM NOT AN EMOTIONAL TAMPON
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Yeah this stuff doesn't usually get to me but this time it really bugged me how badly they got it wrong, they didn't even TRY to learn anything other than from google images. It's fucking disgusting how people don't call them on this shit.
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tired of being a woman, tired of being lonely, tired of being shut-in, tired of dissociating, tired of the waking up, tired of doing the same thing, tired of nothing changing, tired of being insecure and unloved, tired of pretending like i don’t want companionship, tired of posting here, tired of collectively everything. i’m tired of being in pain all the fucking time, it almost makes me want to sob in my bed all the time everything is so shitty and horrible my life is unchangeable this literally is just my shitty fate
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I'm genuinely extremely sad over the fact that Pikachu isn't real and I'll never be able to hold him.
A plushie just isn't the same.
I want the real thing.
My life would improve significantly much if I had a cute Pikachu to cuddle and hold.
How could I even be sad.
He's so loveable.
I am despairing over the fact he isn't real.
This is such a cold and cruel world.
Late reply, but you said literally everything I've been feeling about it. I'm glad you're out of that shit situation, anon. Never feel guilty, you deserve way better than someone who treats you like shit.
They react negatively to being ghosted because "My toy was taken away" is the only thing they understand. That doesn't mean you're in the wrong, or that they're victims
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I’ve been trying to raise some caterpillars that were born on a plant on my porch and it has not gone well. I accidentally killed 2 of them, one by stepping, and one because after placing it in a specially constructed box with twigs to it could go into its chrysalis, I accidentally forgot to put it under shelter during a rain storm and when I woke up, the whole container was full of water and it had drowned. The worst part? When I lifted the stick, it had made its silk harness and was ready to go into its chrysalis. And I drowned it because I’m an idiot. I know it’s stupid nonnies but I’ve been so depressed over this for two days. It was one of the only ones who successfully made its silk harness and I killed it. I feel so bad. What a terrible way to die. I can’t sleep at night now because I keep thinking about how it drowned, anchored to the stick and unable to crawl away, and I keep seeing the one I stepped on and then had to euthanize (by mushing it up all the way) in my minds eye when I try to go to sleep. It was so healthy and cute. The other ones all starved because I kept having to buy them more parsley bc they were so healthy and kept eating through it all, but after I blew $30 on four plants and they razed it all to the ground, I couldn’t justify spending any more and hoped that the big ones were big enough to pupate. And then I ducking killed the two big ones on accident! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHGH I so lovingly took care of them and watched them every day for hours because they were so cute and I liked watching them eat and climb, and then I killed them. I’ve been having other rough circumstances in my life for a few months and these cute chubby caterpillars were getting me through it. I’m devastated and feel cruel even though it was an accident.
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I bought one of these and sleep with it every night, its is very comforting
I wish I could give helpful advice, but I just want you to know that the abuse doesn't have to be "bad enough" for you to cut them off. I know what it's like to have an abusive
mother that you still care about, it's hard but hang in there anon.
Seconding what the other anon said, any bullshit that starts to negatively impact your emotional or physical health is "enough" to cut people off.
My family had that kind of reaction towards me where they seriously believed I should have to put up with anything cause ~but she's your mother~ except NONE of them ever had to live with her in any capacity and she always put on a front in the presence of company. Of course they didn't understand or care what it was actually like to put up with the bitch, just as long as they could guilt and shame me to keep doing it.
She was super nasty too. I could never win.
I'm three years no contact and have never been better to be rid of her volatile ass. I can only speak for myself, but considering the fact that we never had a great nor honest relationship with each other, finally burying that relationship wasn't that much more of a leap. I don't even think any of them even care about me or the damage she's done, only that they feel embarrassed and need to believe it's somehow all my fault.
My mum is a complete narc and blew up at me yesterday. I don't live with her but was down for a visit and just left. So she spent the night texting me every hour all this abusive
shit and I just kind of accept it and let myself cry when I'm alone. It's sad. I want a nice mum and to be a nice daughter but there's always issues. It would be nice to have a non emotionally stunted parent but I could have a lot worst things in life too. Accepting people for what they are is my best advice and allowing yourself to be sad for having a shit relationship is OK. I've been wallowing for about 3 hours today and I think that's enough now lol so I just try to distract myself with things I enjoy.
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Was casually talking with this guy I met in a professional setting. He's been nothing but pleasant and respectful for the past month then he mentioned offhand a shifty past. I know now when you find one cockroach there are hundreds more hiding where you can't see them so time to ghost. I wasn't surprised because my expectations for men are so incredibly low these days, in fact I'd been waiting for the other shoe to drop. Just sad our time has come to an end so soon because he had some genuinely interesting talents and thoughts.
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I hate how my mother is constantly trying to find out if I'm dating/fucking someone instead of asking about it directly. When I mentioned to her that I talk to a certain coworker every single day (about work stuff) she immediately asks if we also talk or meet outside of work as well (we don't). She also randomly asked the other day if I'm gonna sleep home on the weekend or somewhere else (I live alone btw). Also, I noticed that whenever she comes over to my place she always finds a reason to go into my bedroom (either to open the window for some air or to check if my plants are still alive) and she always looks at/around my bed really thoroughly (my guess would be to look for signs of sexual activity, condoms, etc). She also asked me the other day if I have been to a gynecologist recently. The whole thing just feels creepy.
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What does it mean to be alive? I'm terrified of change, I do not have the strength, resilience or wits to make myself different or better, and now I feel too old to change even though YahooAnswers or whatever will say it's fine to turn around your life at 30, and I'm not even there. Do I want to be succesfull? That boat probably sailed long ago, and I can't commit to anything, I'm terrified of being mediocre, but it's so disrespectful and egoistic to think that way, do I think anyone who isn't causing big social or technological advancements die? Of course that's not for me to judge, so why am I terrified of just living a good life and making some friends and accept that my taste is trash. Would I be better off if I avoided the internet unless I absolutely need it for something? I do have genuinely happy moments but all those times I act like a retarded kid or teen, and I'm comparing myself to serious, professional adults. Would I be happy as a biorobot browsing the Internet all day as long as I was unaware there are people doing more with their lives? All I do outside my bedroom is a performance, and I don't even know who it is I want to pet my head. Is this how people suddenly find God in their life?
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Seriously just got down arguing with my mom for like fifteen minutes on the likelihood of a hawk attacking and killing our little dog. She wouldn't listen to me; I agreed that it could happen in principle. But the chances are incredibly low. I cited our past two dogs and ~5 cats that didn't get their brains eaten out by a hawk. But all she kept saying was "you just don't have experience in the country like I do" and wouldn't acknowledge what I was actually saying. I HAVE LIVED IN THE COUNTRY FOR TWO DECADES WHERE ARE ALL THESE FUCKING HAWKS KILLING AND EATING OUR SMALL DOGS
I am seriously shaking over this. I feel like my blood has been replaced by petrol.
Most people in dentistry are quacks or scammers. I had to learn this the hard way. I had an infected wisdom tooth that I went to a dentist for help with like, idk, a dozen times? They would give me medication and it would never help. They neglected me so badly that it festered and spread to my other teeth and I had to have a root canal on a molar. Then, after I got all wisdoms out (a scam, you do NOT need them all out, I should've just had the one infected wisdom taken out. They perforated my sinus extracting an upper wisdom that wasn't even bothering me and I had nosebleeds for months). Then, after the root canal, I still had nerve damage radiating from that tooth to my neck and shoulder. I still do, they gave me TMJ. The dentist that performed the root canal did an x-ray and told me that the tooth's root is fractured and the root canal failed and they would have to extract. I was so upset I literally got up mid-appointment and told them I'd be seeking a second opinion. I used a new dentist through my aunt, then I had to go to an endodontist, who said that the root is NOT fractured and is just healing and sensitive. The new dentist supports that. It's been over a year later and the tooth is fine, but I still have radiating TMJ pain. Sometimes I can't get through the day without a lidocaine patch. If I were rich I'd sue the OG dentist. I swear to fucking God they made my infection fester on purpose. I went to them literally a dozen times for the same issue and they never helped it get better.
I'm not even an ADHD-chan (or at least not medically diagnosed with anything), I just have to pick a research topic for my paper and I'm in a total avoidant overdrive.>>934998
kek I'm happy my ramblings at least had some entertainment value
I do not hate the world and my experience wasn't ever that the world was needlessly cruel, at least in the place and time I was born in. If I was living out of spite I'd still fail in comparison to the people I'd "hate" on social metrics, so if that was my motivation I could neck myself yesterday.>>935012
Oh, I'm not that depressed. I'm not even looking for happiness, just some kind of inner peace. I've tried only focusing on one minor task or goal at a time and it still fails.
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Why do I have to fight in a sea of generic ass women to be able to sit on a semi-decent penis owner? Why is life like this? Why is there so much of the same woman everywhere like bitch MOVE OUT OF MY WAY no matter if he gets married and has continuous sex with other women he’ll still be mine, sorry haha
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wow anon you actually made me come back to reality and I’m not being sarcastic either
Please actually make this album a thing, holy shit. I’m being 100% serious when I say I’d buy this.
I’m in a community chock full of edgy transbians just like jvnko, and it’s fucking infuriating to say the least. I wish I could talk about the more niche things I enjoy with other actual women, but they’re so hard to find in this community. Being around degenerate trannies is seriously awful for my mental health, but I’m in too deep to leave now. I fucking hate this.
Sorry if this is a retarded post, by the way, it’s nine in the morning and I’m buzzed which honestly says a lot kek
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When I was at the six month mark at my current job, I started asking about starting a retirement fund. The finance person said she'll contact our broker but said that it might take a few week because COVID. I said, don't worry that's fine.
Another six months pass. No broker contacted me. I ask the finance person's boss about it and he was surprised I didn't start it yet, said he'll take care of it. Another two weeks pass. I email the finance person again, and she puts me in contact with the broker. I submit all my paperwork, and the broker CCs her so she could put me in the system in the employer's end. It's been a week and she has not responded. I'm beginning to think she doesn't want me to have this retirement account that matches 3%.
Hey homie, it took me over a decade to get help for my eating disorder. I just hope you take this to heart; find help, medical help. Even if you have to go to a few places, do it.
Bite the bullet, ask for help. These doctors can offer resources.
I went 15 fucking years gaslighting my self and dealing with my own families “constructive criticism”. Now I have a doc, I’m on medication and therapy, 3 months free of those behaviors.
You gotta show yourself love and get help. Stop punishing yourself.
And your family probably doesn’t understand, and that’s okay. You will have the tools eventually to talk to them.
When I finally sat down with my dad and explained he ended up tearing up and apologizing for comments he made.
Take care pal.
Thank you both, honestly it helped to get this out somewhere. I considered cutting her off a long time ago and she has improved a little since we lost my dad and she's had more time to think about her actions but I know I cannot change her or be responsible for her either. Right now she could be dying and we don't know for a week or so if the cancer has been that bad but I've just wanted to be here for her through it. I could cut her off, but even then with all of this I just don't have the heart to, if this was the last time that we have together I just want her to be okay and I think I can handle the outburst as long as I can vent here or to friends. It does feel good to share with people and I'm really sorry you other nonnas have had similar experiences. It can be so draining.>>934970
Sending you a bunch of love, those texts must have been really hard to stomach. I'll try to allow myself more to accept that we don't have the best relationship and that on the bright side I am my own person and I have things that I can hold onto and cherish.
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I made those posts a while back and got clowned for it, which I was hurt by, but as time have passed I am realizing that was not normal. I judged other girl's relationships with their moms and none were as codependent and physical with each other as we were. Thinking back now, her calling our relationship 'a romance' and how we are a couple and how she touches me sometimes, says how I always came to her to get kissed and touched, is not comfortable for me. Maybe since I've grown up a bit I'm embarrassed about being like that? She never did all that with my older sister. I know for sure that she doesn't see me in an, like, adult way. Maybe she is touch-starved or something. I told her I felt uncomfortable when she kisses my neck or my stomach or like, other places, massaging my thighs but she gets upset at me for that. Sometimes when I used to cook she would come behind me and do those couple-like things and it made me feel bad. I even cried a few times I felt so weird. But now that I have spent time alone I realize I miss her a lot, I liked cuddling up to her and even kissing her boobs. I felt comforted and like a baby, I even spoke in a baby voice around her. Even a relative got concerned with our relationship at one point, that my mom still treated me like an infant. I don't know what to feel, honestly. I just feel like our relationship was not normal sometimes. What's the use even thinking about it now though?
You should look into covert incest and maybe get some counseling.
The fact some of it makes you uncomfortable, that you told your mom and she didn't respect your boundaries and that your sibling didn't get the same 'affection' are red flags.
Missing the closeness doesn't mean it wasn't wrong or that you didn't get hurt by it.
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I want a hug
Never heard of that term before but I don't think it applies to me, I wasn't there so much for emotional support as for physical affection. We really were too close. I feel ashamed of how I acted with her, I used to straddle her all the time as late as 16, that's not normal. I don't think there's much use to think about it now but it's not leaving my mind. I keep getting reoccurring nightmarish incestual
dreams with her. >>935194
I have just recently, anon.
my family have been similar except more verbal. especially my dad. I found myself getting way too comfortable talking about weird stuff around him because he's a pretty crass person, but there are times where he'd overstep boundaries with his lewd jokes. it's not normal for parents to talk about sexual shit with you and it shouldn't be, right? I know some people can make vulgar jokes with their families but mine just feel wrong doing it. they're abusive
and gaslighty in ways and make me hate myself opening up about that kind of thing. I've become a lot more wary of what covert incest is now and it makes me sick to my stomach.
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Finding makeup is depressing with my sensitive ass skin every base product I try either causes breakouts, eye burning, fucking sinus headaches (purito bb cream), or just looks bad on me (mineral powder foundation). I don’t even want to do fancy looks I just want to look less like a worn out slug
Women reply to me right away, only men do this shit to me all the time even when they're otherwise interested because they try to be all cool and unbothered I guess.
And when sometimes they aren't interested, I wish they'd fucking man up and tell me they don't want to chat. Don't waste my time and make me anxious waiting for your shitty reply.
I'm so embarrassed. I used to do text based roleplay with online friends until I turned 20. During that time, since I loved writing, I offered to write an epic story with everyone's characters, mostly self-inserts, including some of my own. At that time my then boyfriend was also in the online group, and asked to have our characters be a couple in the story. I found the story again now and read it through because I wanted to giggle at my younger self. I realized just how much of my relationship which I back then thought was romantic and caring was actually abusive. In the story, me and my ex's characters got separated for months due to a battle taking place in their city, and when I finally had them re-unite, I wrote his character yelling and screaming at her for being stupid enough to get separated from him. I described him punching a wall and telling her he was tempted to slap her for "putting him through this", and angling it was my character realizing how much he loved her because he screamed at her that way. I wrote it like that because that's how our relationship was like in real life, and while we broke up a few years ago I'm still shocked to see my younger self having written this as if it was a cute moment of a couple re-uniting.
It was set in the modern world with fantasy elements, so like an urban fantasy. Humans had found ways to control and steal the power of supernatural creatures, and there was an underground market where monsters whose powers had been stolen were sold to perform on freakshows or be studied by scientists. This eventually lead to a big war. We all created characters for both sides and a resistance group of humans who fought for the rights of monsters, kek. It wasn't a great story, but I miss those online friends and hope they are doing alright, wherever they are.>>935372
That sounds really tough, anon. Having people roll their eyes at something that makes you happy feels awful, I can't imagine how it is to have your mom do that. Please tell us about the cake, if you want to!
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men need to be sent to concentration camps until they can prove they aren't menaces to society
seeing shit like this enrages me
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You’re literally a fucking idiot, you can’t be assigned a sex at birth you ARE that sex. Fuck off and go take your damn meds, this world has lost its motherfucking mind and so have I
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samefag everything is supposed to revolve around him and his problems. He will keep steering the conversation back to how much his life sucks and everyone is out to get him. He literally thinks nobody else has problems because we don't lose our shit like he does. He has no fucking idea how much shit I put up with and hold in and I couldn't even mention my problems to him because he ALWAYS FINDS A WAY TO MAKE IT ABOUT HIM and how his life is so much worse and he should just give up and everybody should pay attention to him right now. So fucking sick of his complaining. He gave my ptsd from his midnight screeching fits when I was a kid and now he talks like he's the one with all the problems just because I don't make it my whole identity. Can't even have a nice thnaksgiving with the family because he's gone 48 hours without validation so he's started the whole "my life is over because xyz reason" shit so everyone will give him attention. And then in an hour he'll be like "teehee I'm fine now" fuck you you fucking mentally ill moid. So much energy I've given to your shit. I got away in adulthood but this shit keeps coming back. and we're staying at my parents house for the weekend and he's my ride home fuck my life
>letting a mentally ill moid be responsible for getting you back home.
Hopefully it doesn't cost 100+ dollars on Lyft to get you home nonnie
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Every time I think back to my girlhood I feel sad. I’m tearing up writing this right now, which is kind of pathetic knowing how I pride myself on never crying, and not over-relying on outside support. Most certainly, I don’t talk to people about these things.
But I can’t stop feeling this sadness, whenever I think about my early years. Yesterday I was digging through something in our old storage unit, and I found a teddy bear I used to have when I was a kid and I hugged it tight for a second to see if it would feel the same and I felt nothing but sadness and grief, there, in the dark. And it was so fucking awful I had to shove it and leave and I thought about it being lonely and dirty and empty under my mom’s old kitchenware and my kindergarten’s lunch box. I threw away all my toys when I was 11, because they made me a little uncomfortable, like they already seems like tokens of a time gone by, and I didn’t want them to sit in the corner of my room and taunt me. But this somehow escaped, along with two other toys, one that my sister bought me and one that my brother bought me. Whenever I saw them turned up in my mother’s monthly erratic clean-ups I stood arrested for a minute, so fucking uncomfortable, with the magic off of them lifted, and I kept remembering how the sunlight shone through our old’s apartment balcony and made everything soft and gold, and I wondered a bit if this was the same timeline, if that somehow led to this, because you wouldn’t fucking believe it with how everything become dull and ugly.
I have exactly three (four?) memories from when I was six/five. I don’t have others. I don’t remember anything before this time. One when I was standing in our old apartment and someone asked me how old I was and I said six and a half, and it had seemed back then to me that I was six and a half for a hundred years. And I was lonely and confused and already had accepted that everyone else was just as confused as me. I didn’t see my dad much because he was always at work, and I didn’t see my mom much either because housework was (and is) difficult and physically and mentally taxing and took up all her time. Most of time was spent alone, doing nothing.
My second memory is asking mom to turn on the TV for me while she cooked, and my third is sitting in kindergarten with my four friends and sharing food like we always did. I remember the playground a little, even though sometimes I think it’s not real and my mind mad with up because I dream of it so much it seems made-up. I still think it may be.
I don’t like thinking about that little girl. I feel so sad for her. I just took something small and lonely and made it crooked and spent. I think people can see it too. Last time I was at the bank a girl gave me her ticket, patted me on the shoulder, and told me I could take her place. She looked at me so sad, too, like she was sorry for me. I really don’t like seeing my childhood toys. I don’t like being reminded. I want to be okay with being reminded. I don’t want to feel sad for myself, because I hate self-pity and being dejected, which is why I keep to myself. I remember this teacher who hated the living shit out of me, but I never told my parents about her or about the bullying even though they kept asking why I wasn’t on top of the class anymore, because I was always too prideful and never liked asking for help, and despised being helpless, and she’d once said to me that I was the most depressing and miserable student she had ever had. When I was 11 I thought that was funny, and now I think that’s actually hilariously astute (and embarrassing; in a better mode, I’d like to have other distinctive qualities).
My birthday is 17 days from today. I’m young and old. I hope it passes by quickly. Sometimes I wish that I pass away before too many years pass me by, which have always seemed like a defeatist and weak thought to me, and one that I’m way too ashamed of to admit in real life, but also one that I have always guiltily had. I hope I don’t see any of my childhood toys any time soon.
Discord is basically a middle school playground full of kids that already became very best friends and won’t let anyone else join the group because ew, newfags.
You might have to act like a clown for a while for any discord group to accept you.
said. Discord is chock full of trannies. Considering you’re looking for a fic, I’m assuming you’re in some fandom related servers, so expect to see plenty of fujo aidens and they/thems.
Personally, I don’t think it’s weird at all to go into a server to ask stuff like that. Good luck finding that fic, Anon.