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why yes we can
back in the day i worked at a new age store, which did indeed involve a lot of cringe on a daily basis. but i'll never forget the time that my boss's newer/hotter/wilder wife was hardcore flirting with her husband like seven feet away from me. there was a cash register inbetween us but still. i heard them talking about his pickle. like this man is fifty and she is almost half his age. they were laughing about how she used to come in and flirt with him when he was previously married, and i heard him say "but i was trying to be a good boy" and they started giggling and whispering like teenagers in heat and i almost threw up a little
sometimes people would come and get reiki sessions from her in the back room where I know that he just got handsies from her earlier in the day
sorry to be so bitter but they were both cray. he's come in literally crying it seemed every other day that they were getting divorced and then she'd come waltzing in with a new wig and weirdly revealing outfit more appropriate for a tweenage hipster and they would disappear all day in the throes of wild love making/money spending.
she was a self professed psychic but what she really was, was psychopathic. genuine empaths are cool but i watched her manipulate so many people with her head games. as for her husband, it was pretty much karma personified. the business went under a couple years after marriage, now she posts on her blog about how she is so experienced at corporate infrastructure and he posts on Facebook about needing a job. it is sad funny
have more stories if anybody cares. sorry for not the best formatting. it's weird to remember all these things, at the time it took a lot out of me but it's a little funnier now
I would love to hear more stories of your ex-bosses or even your old customers–I'm sure a new age store would bring in some interesting characters.
Glad you're rid of that awkward job!
very unique clientele indeed, and yes i learned a lot but i am glad it came to an end as well.
on with the stories!
there was a very bizarre trio that came in semi regularly. it was a woman, a man and their teenage son. the son was actually very nice, rather well balanced, but his parents were a different story. they were self professed ex-bounty hunters - they both drove motorcycles and tended to dress the part. the woman was of, well, indiscriminate race, and it seemed she would play up whatever seemed most profitable to her in the moment, which was creepy. she was always trying to get on at the store as a resident psychic, and she did this by generally freaking out the other customers, or by focusing on one employee whom she thought she could manipulate to get her foot in the door.
the man would just kind of stand around being useless and while she freaked out and demanded attention. they were both pretty built so i always though it was kind of suspicious that they brought up the ex-bounty hunter thing, as if that were supposed to intimidate people into paying attention to their antics. basically if she was in the store, she needed to be the center of attention. she was loud and had to look at everything in every case, only to not buy it. i always felt creeped out when i was working alone. i recall distinctly the husband asking more than once if i was working alone, so naturally i lied and said (man's name) was in the back.
there was one time when she came in and proclaimed loudly that she felt someone in the store had lost somebody. this poor girl in the corner looking at jewelry noped out of there. my other coworker was like oh my god! so cool and she was just bedazzling him with a bunch of bullshit and he was totally falling for it. she never pulled that shit on me, i was nice to her but she always seemed to be more of a creep than a psychic
more stories incoming
i had another coworker who was genuine, kind and sweet. unfortunately this kind of made her a target. this very strange and sad woman would come in and ask all the time about psychic stuff. i think she genuinely believed that there were people in the store with special psychic powers, and that we all had this super secret knowledge that we were keeping to ourselves. maybe she had a bit of a mental disorder, i mean she had a job but she often didn't understand words we used . . . so we all working there had a bit of sympathy of for her, a fact which she really pushed for all its worth.
she would harass my coworker for hours at a time, asking her questions, trying to get her to use her intuitive powers to figure out some sort of vague situation. eventually we found out kinda what happened, this woman in question had a crush on some lady on facebook/twitter and had been retweeting all of this woman's tweets. and now she was super afraid that this unknown woman was mad at her because she wasn't tweeting back.
she would come hang out while we were trying to close and eventually i told this woman that my coworker was too kind to say that all the questions were draining. then she turned her questions to me haha. like how do you know my questions are draining? are you psychic too? she tried to touch my necklaces one time and i had to explain why that was not appropriate, even though it certainly seemed like the new age store was a free for all compared to other places
eventually she has us save a crystal in the case for her while she saved up the sixteen dollars. when she came back and got it she named it after everyone in the store, with their names smooshed together. i was so pissed that one of my other coworkers told her my real name and not my nickname, but c'esst la vie
this one is kind of hard for me to write about, but i promise i will follow it up with something funnier. i've not been honest about this with anybody in charge so this will be refreshing.
a nice and intelligent man used to come in and hang out til close. he had a physical problem that made getting around hard, and i guess i had a lot of empathy for him. i always thought we were friends, we talked about his cats and stuff. but he believed a little too hardcore for me. told me that he was part of this space thing . . . i don't even want to type it all out. anyways one time he came in drunk and molested me. i was honestly so embarrassed mostly just that i thought we were friends. friends don't do that. anyways i just never made eye contact with him again, although he tried, and told my coworkers to be wary. shit was lame.
In November I saw frnkiero and the celllbration. I remember while waiting in line there were 2 cringe people.
One was a total tumblr fakeboi (there were actually quite a few there, but this one was loud). I remember I had to run to my car to grab my ticket real quick, I said to her "excuse me ma'am" and she went "Sorry but I'm not a girl, try not to misgender people." Like, she had on heavy winged eyeliner and high heels, but I guess the fact she had horribly done thick eyebrows and dyed and fried short hair should have set off something. I said sorry and left it at that. I came back and this bitch was full on ranting about gender and shit, she said she was and I quote "dfab demiboy" and that "assuming gender is as bad as being racist".
Same person also went on a story about how they had a conference at a local con dressed as Party Poison (MCR Killjoys chracter) and how 100 people came. I learned later that there was never any such event, so that was funny. Especially considering how braggy they were about how they were supposedly making people laugh by apparently entering in the room by kicking in the door and saying "sup bitches". Ugh.
Second person was actually a group of people. To their advantage they were all about 12-16, but still. They kept talking really loudly about the Milk fic, which in case no one knows is a really sexual weird fic about Ryan Ross and Brendon Urie from Panic! At the Disco. This wasn't so bad but here's the thing, the youngest one (12 years old) was the one carrying on the convo about this fic while her mom was literally right next to her. To make things worse I was genuinely physically cringing, her mom noticed and came over to me and actually asked what the Milk Fic was. I don't think there was anything worse than telling some 12 year old's mom that her daughter is talking about a fic where a band member gets a milk enema.
now onto some silly stuff.
i've had a woman insist to me that she had a bad chakra. i had another man ask if i could tune his singing bowl to ohm. there was a young man who came in with these very basic and childlike drawings of colored shapes, who told me that they were his plans from a past life to engineer some sort of space station. i'm still not even sure
i had a very old man come in looking for vampire blood, who left confused and dissapointed. i happen to have lip piercings, to which an older sorta redneck customer asked me word for word, "are those your inside lip kissers?"
i watched a man awkwardly place every crytal from a pricier batch on his forehead to find the right one. he closed his eyes and hummed a little.
one that really takes the cake was when one of my coworkers came in hungover and just went and took a nap on the couch in the reading corner. place really was a mess but i did make a friend or two and that was pretty cool
Good job on saying a dude was in the backroom. No good can ever come of admitting you're alone.
The wife would've seriously pissed me off hassling customers and coworkers like that.>>67829
I realize now that I've been in retail too long. Never for a store like the one you used to work in, but my patience for people like this woman you describe is practically nonexistent. I couldn't put up with her for longer than 10 minutes.>>67832
I'm really sorry, anon. I don't have anything else to say except that he was an asshole and you're right: friends don't do that type of shit to each other.>>67837
Hey, at least the guy trying out crystals knew exactly what he was looking for. Must've been a bit weird, but better for him to find the right one rather than keep coming back for exchanges.>>67834
So cringe. The demiboy bragging about kicking in a door and saying "sup bitches" makes me roll my eyes, but the thought of a 12yo talking about a fetish fanfic in front of her mom is stomach-churning. Lord, do kids these days have no shame or sense of discretion? I would've been hardpressed to make eye contact with the mom while explaining the reference just from sheer secondhand embarrassment alone. Did the mom look disturbed or only resigned? (God only knows what other things the girl felt comfortable saying in front of her mother…)
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>be a weeby 13 year. First day back to school.
>spent all summer discovering everything ~JaPANeseee!!!~ and getting really into Jpop and whatnot
>Home-ec class first period. First lesson for some reason is about social shit like racism and multiculturalism.
>Teacher breaks us into groups based on our race and tells us to create posters of what our typical stereotypes are in media.
>Mostly Mexicans, whites, and blacks in the class. One preppy Korean american girl.
>Dumbass me thinks that that I should be paired with the asian girl because I "listen and watch ashuuuuun stuff more than american stuff desu!"
>Actually go up and tell the teacher this and ask to change groups.
>areyoufuckingkiddingme.jpg face from teacher. Get sent back to my original group
>continues to hold a grudge on this teacher for the rest of the year.
and i have so many more stories, please kill me
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yes indeed had i had bigger cajones i would have been a lot more firm with many of these people. but alas now my cajones are bigger from these experiences haha. and indeed lots of people would try out crystals to find the right one, and honestly it was often super cute, especially with children. it was just a little awkward because i had to monitor the more expensive crystals and i wasn't sure whether i should politely look away or adopt a look of vague interest hehe.
i feel you on the retail thing anon! i am sure you will break free and rock this world. thanks for reading my lurid tales, as i am sure you have many of your own
Yeah, when I was younger I didn't have the experience and dgaf attitude I have now. Positives are I can now politely redirect conversations and remove unwanted hands from my body without making a scene. Still trying to figure out a way to gracefully duck out of unwanted creeper hugs when someone comes up behind me, but hey, time is on my side.
Thanks for the well wishes about breaking free of retail. I really need to–I am getting to the burnout point.>>67859
That class sounds like an absolute nightmare. Wtf was the teacher thinking.
omg this is the worst.
for a while i had "fantastic baby" by big bang as the ringtone for my boyfriend because he hated it and i thought it was hilarious. wellll, he decided to call me during a staff meeting (he didn't know, it was last minute) and out of nowhere, a very loud "I WANNA DANCE DANCE DANCE DANCE…WOW FANTASTIC BABY!" blasts from my phone. I wanted to crawl in a hole and die.
There was this time when my dad almost surprises me watching porn.
Ok so I was like 14 at that time, my parents were at work and I was bored out of my mind so, lets search some motherfucking porn to pass time.
Everything was perfect, the computer of my parents was a fucking toaster but with a little bit of work it could reproduce video, and I was happy, my dad wasn't supposed to get home til night and it was just 4 in the afternoon, what could possibly go wrong rite??
Suddently, the fucking hentai im watching frozes I'm on full screen, the video stopped running but the audio keep playing through my headphones, I try to just ctrl+alt+del but it makes it all worse, now the whole computer frozes, not only the player or the browser, I cant even move the cursor around. Ok, I'm starting to panic, the moans continue on my headphones like a grim reminder that if someone were to barge into the room in that exact moment I could be screwed. I'm just there, thinking what the hell to do when suddently, I heard the front door oppening.
>Anon sweetie, I'm home early today!
HOLY MOTHER OF SWEET JESUS CRISTO.
Don't answer, I'm just screaming inside trying to unfreeze this shit.
>Anon are you on the computer?
As I heard my dad on the stairs I fucking lauch myself from my seat and turn off the monitor just as he enters the office. Japanese moans still going on my headphones as I stood there.
>hey, why is the screen turned off…
Moaning finally stops.
I try to turn on the screen again while dad looks the other way, screen still frozen, cover the screen with my body and reach the back of the tower like a maniac.
>Wait Anon NOOOOO!!!
Quickly flick off/on the switch.
Dad scolds me and tells me that I could have fried the pc.
>aw come on dad what could possibly go wrong just turn it on again I'm done anyway.
Try to turn on the computer again… No reaction.
Towers does a horrible hellish sound.
>God damn it Anon!
And that's the story of how I burned my pc's hard disk to cover up my Japanese porn.
I didn't watch porn for years until I got my own laptop 5 years after that.
Parents walking in on that type of shit is the worse. Reminds me of a story of my own.
When I was probably about 6 or 7 I use to go to daycare after school, there was this boy there who was 8 and I had a HUGE crush on him. I use to talk to him and stuff and we would flirt but it was children flirting.
Well, one day he starts talking about making out and stuff. He basically said something like>When you're married you sleep with your husband naked and it feels good!
SO, being the dumb child I was, I had to try this out. But I had no super close guy friends, let alone ones who would come over to test it out. So that weekend I went in my room, shut the door, took off my clothes, and went under the covers naked. It just felt weird, I remember going "What a rip off!".
I then got up and.
Huge shit stain right on my bed. I still don't know what happened. I didn't shit myself or anything. What I'm guessing is I didn't wipe right when I got off the toilet last. What was worse was having to go to my mom and dad and explain that there was a big poop smear stain on my bed without revealing I was naked in bed. So I lied and said I was changing and it happened. I still cringe about this pretty bad here almost 20 years later.
God damn my sides just flew out of this world.
Children can be so adorably stupid.
Oh I remember when I got my period for the first time when I was 10, I had woken up that day with quite the hurting on my belly and when I get up there's fucking blood on the sheets. Now at that time I didn't even used a bra, I was fucking ignorant on this my parents never give me any talk and also I was a dramaqueen, so what was my first through? >I must be dying, theres no other explanation, I'm going to die and this blood and the bellyache is proof of it. I must go to an hospital or start to say my goodbyes.
So I basically go to my grandma (ex titulated nurse) to tell her I'm bleeding out to death that morning to which she just laughs… And tells me the beautiful process of menstruation with full details and statistics and also gave me the talk…
It was too much information for widdle ol' me, so I didn't want anyone to touch me for a while, I could end pregnant or something.
Holy shit and what did she told you, and what did you say???
I remember wheb my mom uncovered my gay porn>MOOOM ITS NOT PORN IS A LIFESTYLE
I shit you not, I was that stupid when I was 13.
, female, bordering obese.>>big trashy scene mullet with shitty purple patches in it>>so much eyeliner all around the eyes. Imagine a raccoon and cleopatra put it on. >>skinny jeans, glittery high tops, hello kitty shirt, too-small purple cardigan with black hearts on it. >>I look so fucking cool.
>>blind drunk at some gross house party in suburban Perth. >>puke outside mid conversation with exbf>>casually continue conversation, super gross.>>loudly, grossly, obnoxiously make passes at my male friend. >>he's not interested guys>>try harder>>drink more, smoke more bongs, drink even moar ????? Pass out on back lawn.>>wake up to vomit again, fart loudly.>> someone's mother is helping me up and were walking past the party>>fart some more>>>PPPPPPFFFFFFFFFTHHHHHBBBBPPPPPT>>cry>>wake up alone and confused, find photos of self crying with face in toilet as the screensaver of the computer next to the bed>>drink some more
Haha Jesus fucking christ man.>Perth
Oh well there you go, now it all makes sense.
Last year I was at a bar with some friends after a festival sort of thing, and we were in a serious party mood. I had a crush on one of my guy friends who is a pretty smart drinker, and never drinks too much. I accidentally drank way too much and asked if I could sit on his lap, to which he said yes. I sat there for at least an hour (I was so drunk that i can only remember bits here and there). I remember farting like crazy against his legs and almost breaking his phone.
A couple of years ago i had a crush on this dude at my school. He was sitting on a couch on the school lobby, and i tried to walk past him very sensually and elegantly, but accidently sharted.
That year my friends also thought it was super hilarious to spook me by jumping in front of me around a corner, because i get startled very easily. I had stomach problems, probably because of dairy, and every time they jumped at me i would make a little fart, so i tried to clench all the time so it wouldn't happen. I was walking with another crush of mine, and was unfocused on my bowel, and someone startled me and i let out a huge smelly one and started crying in embarrasment.
I fucking hate my bowel.
hey there. i learned this move in krav maga, if somebody sneaks up and grabs you from behind, just push your elbows directly back into them. it's gonna cause a world of pain if you do it with great force, but even with slight effort the elbows are pretty pointy. obviously this might not be the best recourse in every situation, but then again it's never cool to make someone uncomfortable like that. that makes me so mad. if you are stuck at a shitty job people oughta be decent about keeping their hands to themselves. you sound awesome! i don't want you to burn out. you have my well wishes kind human>>68502
yeah two faced just about describes it. i'm sorry you gotta deal with that. i think the main type of manipulation, and maybe the most annoying, was the megalomaniac psychic. this could be pretty extreme sometimes. basically it's when somebody walks into a room and demands to be the center of attention. this is very ala charles manson, the same kind of tactics. if any of these people get the sense that you might be mystified by their psychic powers, or lightworking, or motherfucking reiki mastery, they'll sink their hooks into you and try to draw you into their conversation. as long as they have your attention, as long as they can keep you locked into their mysterious universal mystery tangents, they feel powerful, and they get off on it.
the best way for me at least to tell if someone is genuine, is if they keep their mouth shut about. real magic practitioners know that secrecy brings a lot of power, so anybody spouting off about sensing this and that is most likely a fraud.
there was a group of people who used to come in whom i feel to be legitimate psychic vampires. this sounds cooler than it is, it's basically a bunch of creeps who get chubbs from freaking people out. if you are into this stuff at all, and if it worries you that someone might be messing with you, just put up a light of protection when you go out and take it down at night, use a different one for sleep if you are dealing with bad dreams. i did this at work, i went on vacation for a week and two of my friend at work called and told me that the psy vamps were getting really bad. it's the first time i ever realized that shielding was useful.
a lot of new agers as well try to go the LOVE LIGHT POSITIVITY route, i remember this girl literally covering her ears to not hear another girl talking shit, i mean yeah don't dwell on the negative but when you deny the 'darker' things that behavior just kind of gives it more power. i believe the place i worked at would have been in better shape if people practiced what they preached, more or less. all these stoned motherfuckers trying to be namaste all while ignoring that if you DO believe in love and light and magic, there's another side to that coin, and it might be good to put up some spiritual protection and stop trying to make everything fit into this divine feminine hugbox. there's a lot of repressed sadness, anger, emotional/physical/eating disorders, and people try to cover it up with new age instead of dealing with it and admitting something is wrong. this can draw people in as well, i don't think it's as insidious as the former tactic of i'm-a-psychic in regards to its effect on others, but i have seen more than one person crack under the pressure of trying to fit into the sun loving hippie dippie reiki yogi extraordinairre. it's like a full on personality break.
so those are the things i would watch out for - if someone acts like they have some secret spiritual knowledge of the universe, or some unique special psychic gift, and if they lord it everywhere to get attention, and try to pull people into their dramas, this is bad. good thing is, only one of these people can usually exist in a group, because there's not enough attention to go around. the other thing is that the peace love light hippies are usually more fucked up than anybody, though do a good job of masking it, and they will either fall apart trying to keep up the facade or try to integrate it more healthily - although this will be rare if they are in a group of other love light-ers. also, never trust a self proclaimed lightworker, and never meditate with a stranger or let an untrusted person perform energy work on you
it's sad that so many unbalanced people have infiltrated what should be so pure on the surface, but alas, it happens to everything. just trust your instincts, stay away from drama and it will be fine. enjoy yourself anon, oakland sounds wild
man, that shit sounds familiar.
I used to live in a community house which served as a hub for similar types of individuals.
On the upside, I got to meet some really great folks, but also I had to watch the place fall to pieces after we let one individual in particular live there. she was one of those types who considers herself a 'mother goddess' and very 'in touch with nature' but also was a complete psychic vampire. tbh her husband was way more legit than she will ever be, but she rode his coattails and people let her get away with it because they respected him so much. mostly her 'powers' manifested in pretending to be important/knowledgeable so that she could wind people around her little finger, and and also pitching screaming, physically violent tantrums whenever she didn't get her way and then chalking it up to her 'natural dominance'.
in the end, despite claiming the title of 'house mother' for as long as she lived there, she ended up being directly responsible for the collapse. apparently she thought that she could just withhold the rent everyone was paying from the landlord for months at a time and nobody would notice or give a shit.
oh, and she once tried to cure someone else's (one of her fucking stupid peons) dog who was dying of heatstroke by meditating over it with crystals. she told the owner that they shouldn't take it to the vet because she legitimately thought she could cure it like that. the dog died. her own dog suffered from a severe skin condition that she also refused to treat because she believed that the pharmaceutical/medical industry was a huge misinformation scam perpetuated by the government.
say what you want about light of protection and psychic shields and stuff, but whenever I encounter people like this, I reckon that the only way to avoid getting caught in the crossfire is to get the hell away. luckily my intuition is pretty on point and I literally moved out/escaped like two weeks before the whole situation detonated. it breaks my heart, though, because I still remember what the community was like (honestly fucking amazing) before she moved in.
oh shit anon that's really sad about the dogs. it's one thing for people to forgo treatment for whatever reason but that is so wrong in relation to pets because animals don't have the means to decide for themselves.
that's unfortunate too that things were really nice before they went bad. i can imagine that situation being really pleasant with trustworthy people. the woman you are describing sounds a lot like my ex boss's current wife, probs not so terrible but she definitely rode his coattails as far as he was pretty respected in the community, and she had this weird culty following from her reiki practice. he wasn't really too into the business aspect anyways, that was more his ex-wife's domain, so this new chick pretty much distracted him into running the business into the ground so she could move to new york and have a new age talk show. yeah guess what happened to that idea haha. as far as i know they are both jobless, aside from her doing these weird youtube body confidence videos. she was also a spokesperson for this 'organic e-cig' company in the meantime, then she said they were racist and "almost completely destroyed her" bla bla bla. more likely they just wouldn't put up with her BS.
i was really torn between quitting and not because the conditions sucked, but there were a few sweet customers and a couple of coworkers whom i cared for, so i started using psychic shields and i guess they helped me deal with it on some level. i do wish i had gotten the hell away though, you are spot on about that being the best way to deal with people like that - and i'm glad you listened to your intuition. i wish i had done the same. once i started to feel unsafe i just ignored it for a variety of reasons, bad move. i too had a really nice experience there before things got weird. tried to stick out til the bitter end but once my boss started scheduling his wife because literally everyone else kept quitting, i quit too.
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OK I'm not sure who's worse in this story, me or the girl, but anyways:
>middle school, no friends in class
>always get paired up with this one girl
>she's bordering on obese, pizza face, greasy, wears the same clothes everyday, doesn't wear underwear so there's a discharge stain on her pants
>somehow despite being disgusted by all this I end up "befriending" her
>she adds me on AIM
>says she's so happy to finally have a friend
>asks if I can come over because her mom doesn't believe I'm real
>brush it off because she's generally an asshole to me
>things continue on
>she gives me her deviantart username one day
>go home and look it up
>full of fucking fat fetish inflation shit and inzader zim porn
>brush it off again
>at this point I start becoming friends with some "popular" kids
>"haha anon weren't you friends with _____?"
>tell them I just talked to her as a joke and tell them about the inflation porn
>reputation is still intact, yay
>one day I stay in with the popular kids in the classroom while everyone else and the teacher are gone
>they decide to raid her desk to see if they can find weird drawings
>mfw they find drawings of pokemon getting raped and vored and killed
>take pics of it on my shitty flipphone to show other people
>she still trusts me at this point
>put her in a group chat with some of my friends
>we all start making fun of her
>she stops coming to school
Damn… sometimes I feel guilty but I saw her on tumblr randomly last year and she was otherkin
You made her fall back on otherkin-ism.
Good job, anon.
Yeah as cruel as it sounds, bitch deserved it then and now. I hate those social outcast who are assholes with their only friends and overly proud of their fucked up fetishes.
Also, no underwear?? What the fuck kind of trailer trash is that eugh…
Your mother is extraordinarily gracious.
I'm still trying to repress the memory of my own parentals discovering my yaoi stash. :|
Same. My life is a hideous montage of humiliation and shame.>>68382
I was that weeaboo. I accidentally brought a BL manga to school with me in 8th grade to show my close friends. Before I knew it, it was being passed around the entire school. Fucking kill me now.
One time:>15 years old>first Lolita outfit at an anime convention with my other weeaboo friends>having a great time>suddenly, wild 8 foot tall dude in a fuzzy pedobear costume shows up>starts bugging me>crowd draws around us wanting me to pose for pictures with him >sweatsnervously.jpg>start hyperventilating >have a mini panic attack and I just start screaming uncontrollably in a crowded convention hall next to Pedobear >no one knows what to do>crowd dispersed, leaving me with my friends >what the fuck just happened
I guess I was just weirdly freaked out and didn't know what to do so my tiny mind just went into overdrive. So many cringey times with my friends at anime conventions.
I've done so much cringe shit in my lifetime. thinking about it just makes me want to peel my skin off in rage at myself. Why was I so stupid, anons? Why am I still so stupid?
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Seriously though, what about just giving up the weeboo cartoon shit?
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I don't really do much with anime anymore. I watch a couple series when I do my homework sometimes. But otherwise… Eh. I don't care as much anymore.
My weeabooness peaked in 8th-9th grade, which are when these stories take place. I'm pretty good at being cringey on a day to day basis without anime in my life.
>in class one day>stomach problems because muh anxiety >sweating and shaking while trying to take notes>sperg really hard when the professor asks me something about the lecture because he didn't think I was actually paying attention >tries to answer because I actually like the class>but actually I just puke all over my lap >start crying>run to the bathroom>only come back when class is over to get my bookbag
Wait, you dated him 8 years ago, or you dated him for 8 years?
Either way please tell the story.
>>68113>Huge shit stain right on my bed. I still don't know what happened. I didn't shit myself or anything.
Last year we had been talking about how evil toilet paper is. You see? I was right after all lel
Toilet paper does not clean your butthole ffs
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I guess this would be the optimal solution
She pointblank admitted it to someone in the class later in the year, and we all started calling her "commando" in return. I'm pretty sure she didn't even wear underwear on her period because there was blood sometimes as well…>>69542
dear lord, it seems like every single school has at least one of these. Luckily mine was hated by every teacher because she would just draw her pokeporn and ignore lessons
You know you can throw wipes in the trash, don't you?>>69252
You're a gross piece of shit.
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Phone auto corrected
I'm still embarrassed, but I'm glad someone found it funny.>>69308
Sorry, why do you say that? Do you know me or something?
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I was an idiot 13 year old and was huge into /new/ and thought I was le redpilled unironically so I gave a speech in class about how Mossad blew up the twin towers, and how the soldiers in Iraq were just pawns of Israel's plan to destabilize and slowly annex the entirety of the middle east
Aftermath of that lasted with me until I graduated high school because other students would bring it up in the middle of the class in a "Hey remember that time anon gave that one speech?" and in the process letting other students know who weren't in my speech class
Ugh, back in the day there was this 8th grader that used to hang out with my group when we were on last year.
We were a bunch of loud nerds, and since nobody liked the kid back on his class, including their nerds, one day he just decided to "befriend" us since we used to chill on the stairs near his class.
He was hyperactive and annoying, simply as that, if i had to describe him, he was the live image of a CoD kid, the one who shrieks into the microphone and cusses like a sailor, he was almost 13 but looked and sounded like a 9 year old, but even if he was ball bursting annoying, we were pussies and no one wanted to hurt his feelings by telling him to fuck off, also it was our last year before graduation, we could stand him for a little more.
The problem started when Lil bitch discovered fucking 4chan a the creepypasta wiki. He became the definition of a summerfag when he came back, motherfucker couldn't shut up about Le meems and screaming normalfags to anyone who wanted him to shut up already. Hanging out with him became a nightmare after that. Mostly when he discovered /pol/ and the tinfoil hat landed on his head.
He Coul go hours rambling about degenerates and jews and the 9/11.
We finally managed to get rid of him when a bully from his class beated him to a pulp after he made an Holocaust joke (he was Jew and there was a rumor that his great great great Grandpa died horribly in the war and shit)
Sometimes I wonder if he ever got over the edgelord phase. Sometimes I wonder if they ever stoped calling him Timmy Turner. I wonder if they managed to save his eye.
Trap/futa porn levels, for the human eye is just drawings of guys in dresses with them big ol' cocks…. And some Animal crossing porn this one friend wanted.
I'm sitting with her watching movies now, everything is normal, still, I'd better don't mention it and just move on.
Let's hope that she doesn't tells my dad…
…In different countries they can't even flush toilet tissue, so you have to throw dirty toilet paper in the bin. Plus, look at how we throw tampons, pads and diapers away.
I keep fragranced nappy sacks in the bathroom. Cheap, gets rid of any smell problems, also hides what's inside so if I have guests round they don't see a bunch of shitty wipes in my bin or whatever
Is what I get for still living with my parents, I guess? (In my country is not big deal, but I know Americans get weird with shit like this) I have told her that is not her duty to organize my shit anymore, that I can do it alone (and I have this sort of organized chaos in my room that makes me feel comfortable anyways) but still she just doesn't take it and loves to fuck around and tidy shit up while I'm away.
Is not the first time, it happened before when I was a weeb teen, where I drew some bizarre yaoi shit too, and she just kind of shrug it up??
I don't know what kind of reaction to expect from her really, but knowing how volatile she is, it disturbs me her lack of emotion when she sees shit like that on my room.
I'm happy that she doesn't try to rumage thru my drawers anymore. Really i don't want her to discover the dildo I have hidden between my art supplies (dildo that also came to my possession under bizarre conditions… my grandma give it to me, yeah)
My whole adulthood has been a huge cringe story I swear (I'll tell the dildo story on another post so I don't mix shit up). Even more than when I was a meme loving weeaboo.
As if you're worth the trouble.
Cringe today: overhearing a pimply neckbeard (wearing a fedora, of course) trying to convince his landwhale girlfriend that he had a hand in producing the new Deadpool movie.
>NEET in a slightly out-of-the-way apartment complex
>help move in a neighbor
>oh, she has a daughter
>walking dog one day and daughter runs out my way
>Hi, you're Anon, right? I'm K
>we hang out a bit
>I'm 19, she's 16, not a huge difference but
>first day i hang out with her she tells me she used to be an addict
>other shit like this
>hang out with her and buy her cigs occasionally, better than being on hard drugs/an alcoholic plus I was desperate to hang out with someone
>every moment has to be drama
>she makes me read her writing and look at her art
>okay, maybe she's just eccentric and artsy, she's still kind of nice
>she starts talking about sex with her ex BF when we're walking
>nearly kill my lung mid smoke
>he's totally her soul mate
>shows me picture of his dick once (don't worry he was 18)
>wrote about their sex life
>what the absolute fuck
>She gives off mixed messages, is she just trying to be edgy/cool or is she trying to imply that I have a chance here?
>still kind of just weirded out by her, but she's still kind
a few weeks pass
>we were supposed to hang out, instead she talks to stranger her age for like 3 hours, in front of me
>says cringy stuff to him, has him read her poetry
>by this point she's starting to look down on me, I think she only hung out with me because I was the only one to chill with
>we go see fireworks
>she feels ill
>try comforting her
>she snaps at me
>hang out like once a week, still reading her 'poetry' which is just stream of consciousness and all she does is talk about her ex bf
>she moves a while later
I just wanted a friend, maybe get my dink wet, but holy fuck. That was an experience.
The weirdest part was the sexuality stuff
"I miss sex"
"I only want to fuck my ex"
"Erotic literature ain't cutting it"
"I totally get horny when.."
It's like, do you want to screw or not, or are you taking some sick pleasure in using me as a sexual relief and trying to make yourself feel lusted over because you know you're attractive? Weirdest shit I've ever dealt with.
She was also "sexually progressive" so she was okay talking about her sex life, whatever, and dyed her hair pink. She had such a nice shade of light brown, too.
Eh, I tried being a good friend, but even like, six months later this entire situation STILL baffles me. Hopefully she'll grow out of it.
Ok, this is late and I'm so weird for doing this.
You can use a moisturizing cream without alcohol or perfume and put some one your paper after you've wiped and it'll make it very clean.
Idk if anyone else does this, but I've done it since I was a kid.
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my personal cringe is this girl I used to be really close with. no part of me grasps why she thinks these brows look amazing. lord, someone, anyone, please help her.
yeah, but when I tried getting touchy, it wasn't well received at all, been there before. And yeah, she had major mommy issues and a few actual health issues. I think she was just trying to be edgy. I've dealt with far worse people as friends but she became a bitch, which is unacceptable but easily rectified.
Also oh my god, i forgot how awful I used to be on neopets. I'm suddenly thrown back to those days and it was awful. Jesus christ. I hope my account got deleted due to inactivity.
We spent time together. Let me run down some cringe for you farmers, god bless her soul.
>first thing she tells me is about her drinking again>she sobered up after almost preforming a sexual act for alcohol>she became fuckbuddies with her friend>she wrote a letter to her ex bf and burned it as "closure">she's wearing those "fuck me" glasses and a shocker t shirt with short short short jeans>more friend drama
Everything is edgy or drama or sex. She's a very nice person and I have a decent amount of respect for her but holy shit. It's just so surreal to me.
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Because she's hot, idunno. I'd kill to have my head between her legs. Despite how cringey she can be, she knows how to push my buttons and I'm ashamed to admit I like the edgy teen slut look.
That and I can report on how fucking bizarre this is. I find it almost fun. I also only have online friends, so I have someone around my age, in real life, to talk to.
I've already said here >>71464
Doesn't make much of a difference, does it?
Well, I erased most of it from my memory, thank fuck. But I still have this one written down.
>femanon in eighth grade
>impossibly ridiculous, flamboyant aspie, completely oblivious to everything social
>in english class
>open rockstar drink under desk
>I accidentally kick it over, it spills everywhere
>everyone starts laughing
>"hey anon did you piss under your seat?"
>I, thinking I'm funny, say: "but of course!"
>somehow the entire class has stopped, everyone's laughing hysterically, including the teacher
>I don't realise they're laughing at me, I think they're just laughing in the way that they laugh when a popular person says something dumb
>I stand up and announce, grinning wildly: "I shall retrieve some paper towels in order to eradicate this most egregious error!"
>the fervour of their laughter increases; a few girls are now laughing so hard they're crying
>I'm in the front of the class, walking over to the door
>one of the girls says: "hey anon, why don't you just lick it up?"
>I remember something I saw a popular girl doing the other day
>I whip around with a manic, shit-eating grin plastered on my face
>strike a pose, thumbs-up the air
>everyone just dies, collapsing in laughter
>I walk out the door, grinning at how I just cemented my popularity
>things like this happened all the time
This isn't correct, anon. No delivery could have made those lines funny. Regardless of who is saying it and how, those lines are intrinsically awkward.
It could only work said in a soft, calm, serious-but-joking way to a friend or two. Even then, it would only be a slight amusement to take the edge off of having done something as foolish as spilling one's drink.
Oh god, this reminded of that time back in high school when it took me a long time to get back from a bathroom break… I somehow ended up agreeing with my classmates that yes, it took me that long because I totally missed the toilet haha. And then had to clean up the mess haha. haha. ha.>Just why.
I feel for you anon and cringe every time I think about it.
It could have worked if you were really popular and yes friendly with most people in your class. It would've worked for the popular kids/class clowns where I went for sure.
So then what happens is, you get the very bright idea to try to emulate that behavior because those people are hilarious and popular so why not you? But no, just no it doesn't work for you.
We hung out and when she finally shut the fuck up about her drama and shit, we actually gasp
But here's some more cringe>mommy issues galore, they have a fiery relationship>made me, and another person read her poetry>told me about her love life… Again
She's been slightly less absolute cringe lately, thank god.
Here's a story from high school>have to do a presentation in class, teacher gives us a topic to rant on>mine was ketchup, for two minutes>end my lecture by writing on the white board "ron Paul 2012" >thought I was the funniest shit ever>was a hardline, Ayn Rand lolbertard
anon you should talk to him. everyone makes mistakes, i used to be awkward af with coworkers around my age>>603359>>68546
glad this thread was bumped cuz i'm laughing like crazy at this
sorry farting anon
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>Be me at 15
>Accidentally call teacher 'mum'
>No big deal, right? Just laugh it off with them
>I couldn't do that
>I made it a running bit
>Call her variations of Mum and never call her her name
>Also obsessed with Joan Crawford
>Obviously start calling her Mommie Dearest
>Heavily imply she beats me
>Act scared of her as a joke, flinch when she calls on me in class
>Well known I'm a lesbian
>Classmates start a rumor that the teacher and I are in some perverse dom sub relationship
>Gets back to the staff
>Get called into the office
>"Anon, are you and Ms L having any sort of inappropriate relationship"
>Frantically stammer my way through an explanation of the joke
>Being called in convinced classmates this is legit
>Can't look the teacher in the eye
>Start failing every test until I request a swap to another class
>MFW made myself a fool and could have ruined a woman's career because I tried to funny
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i was going through my downloaded/pirated from youtube when I was 12 and had limited time to use the internet (basically when my parents were gone to work during the summer), I would download any video I wanted to see later…. nonnies I am downright ashamed of my 12 year old self but super glad I grew out of the fetish. by request I will upload one of these to a webm
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KEKK ‘Hot Asian Guys’. Did you download the paralyzer music video from youtube? I actually want you to upload the disturbia video if it’s not porn because it sounds like a powerpoint slide of random famous asian men to the sounds of Disturbia by Rihanna. Is there more? I still have my bookmarks and comments from when I was 12 but most of the links are dead. Unfortunately I was also equally disturbed.
the weird thing is that the elder one would sexualize male idols in small quantities before she met the girl, but she wasn't teetering on the boundaries of sexual harassment by doing it. back then she had self awareness and she did not go too far. the last few months the horniness took over her fucking braincells.
it's more concerning that the other girl became so deeply ingrained into the koreaboo shit and was able to drag a grown woman down with her. I had a cringey kboo phase but nothing ever like this and I certainly never would've been like this a year or two ago when I was the same age as my friend who got dragged into it is currently.
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In 8th grade, I was walking with a friend and a boy I had liked. She told him to man up and confirm or deny whether or not he liked me back. I proceeded to then sperg out and essentially launch her multiple feet into the lockers with a hip bump that came from all of my young teenage autism. She got a lot of bruises and had to tell her mom that she got into a fight with a boy and kicked his ass. I still feel bad about it 7 years later.
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You were right! Just a dumb slide of asian men. There were a few more, I mean the cringest of things. Like I have 20 or more screamo videos.
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the worst part is how openly unashamed they became to do it in front of other people and not take it to dm's
picrel is an example tierlist made by the younger kboo
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I can't really comment on taste since I don't remember what half the moids look like. The ones I do like, very few, are ranked low
picrel is the adult girls tier list, still pretty cringe
god I can't imagine wanting to fuck or aggressively thinking about this many moids
I'd become more distanced from using the groupchat because I was dealing with real life stuff. Since it was a larger chat with people beyond the kboos, the activity gave me the ability to scroll down past the bullshit and just leap into other conversations about things completely unrelated to the kboo sperging.
Then the sperging became more frequent, longer, and weirder. Less avoidable. Sometimes I noticed in DM's my friend was getting worse, but I didn't have the gall to be direct about how uncomfortable it made me except in the group setting, and that irked her and the other kboo. In DM's I made it clear with my wording however, without saying "that's gross", I was disinterested in her shoving a moid's fancam in my face.
They accused me of gatekeeping them and their interests and of being prudish, unaccepting. Ironically they'd told me in the past to stop talking about interests of mine, including my own celebrity crush, or purposely ignored things I had to say because "nobody cares"?
All they'd said was far more fetishy, blatant, and grossly objectifying than a word that'd come out of me. It's like we no longer had any mutual interests anymore, when I tried to show my friend one of her favorite girl groups new releases, she brushed it off and declared the song crap.
There used the be an ability to diversify. talk about the musical aspects, song recommendations, criticism and commentary on the industry, girl groups, and a variety of things, not just mediocre moids with shit tier music. It became 90% about mediocre moids with shit tier music and then sperging about Kingdom or whatever the fucking moid survival show was.
Witnessing it happen realtime where the aforementioned charts were posted was my boiling point. That set me off.
Ooh, I have a similar one.>14 years old>weeb, like to draw manga>friend and I have this running joke about tentacle hentai>japan so wacky amirite>we decide it would be hilarious to leave tentacle porn in random places at school>having to look it up online grosses us out though>so I get to drawing>one day enter my room to find my mom cleaning out my backpack>she meant well, I was a messy kid>she takes out and looks at one of my drawings, silently puts down next to backpack>typical over the top boobs and hentai face>tentacles going everywhere>obviously drawn by me>instantly explode in embarrassment>try to explain to her that it's a joke thing>stuttering>she looks at me>only says 'that's okay'>obviously doesn't believe me>we never talk about it again
Sometimes I still cringe knowing my mom probably thought I was genuinely into drawing my own tentacle hentai.
They have different haircolors, duh!
Kek I agree with you, every single person in kpop looks exactly the same, the women also all look the same. I think it's because they all go to the same surgeon to get the same procedure to look exactly like the korean beauty ideal.
Really fucking weird to anyone who isn't into that shit.
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>Get off soulless 9-5 job, tired as fuck
>Go to store to pick up something for dinner
>Cashier says it'll be $5
>Give her $2
>She deadpan stares at me, saying it's $5
>I give her another dollar
>She looks at me like I'm retarded
>Start fumbling with my wallet and apologizing profusely going through the complex mental math equations to determine how much cash I need to give her to make $5
>Loudly says "You need to give me TWO MORE DOLLAR and then you'll have FIVE DOLLARS."
>Brain doesn't comprehend, spaghetti falls out of my pockets
>She points at the $5 bill in my wallet and says give me that.
>I give her the $5 bill and pay for my items and leave and never return to that grocery store
I think it's easier to tell the women apart in kpop in some groups but in others where they all look too plasticized it's impossible, don't ask me about the men
why my "friends" had the audacity to shit on me for liking western actors above the age of 30 is beyond me>>818760
I swear to god the elder one's been in relationships (albeit not good ones) before so she has no excuse to be acting like a tumblrtard
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One time I was posting about how bad my depression had gotten and how bad I wanted to kms and how scared I am for the future on /g/, and a janny gave me a five minute ban to give me advice on how to get mental health help without getting put in a psychward and how to get medical/financial assistance and I still think about that like every day
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>>818564>I can't imagine wanting to fuck or aggressively thinking about this many moids
eheheheh… neither can I…
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Some of the childhood cringe stories upthread inspired me to write out my own
>be me, age 9
>super interested in anything paranormal
>one day, when on holiday at my grandma's house find a stash of her husband's old paranormal magazines
>must be about 30+ of them, it's amazing
>"you can take them home with you anon"
>read the mags like nobody's business, learn about all sorts of freaky stuff like shadow people, telekinesis and hollow earth
>what's less cool is that I'm starting to experience night terrors about some of that stuff
>the most terrifying thing of all is alien abduction, basically a very real danger and a fate worse than death in my 9 year old mind
>still fascinated though, spend a lot of nights thinking about it
>fast forward about two weeks
>dad takes us out for ice cream after dinner one Sunday
>it's Autumn so it's already dark and foggy outside when we leave the ice cream place
>turn the corner, suddenly out of nowhere there's a large, bright, oval shaped light hovering in the fog right above us
>enter a split second panic mode, literally the most visceral fear I've ever experienced
>"oh my god there's an ufo here, they're going to experiment on me and kill me"
>SCREAM and piss my goddamn pants
>my parents stare at me in shock
>it's a streetlamp
>mfw the next day my mom took away all of my cool paranormal magazines and put them in the trash
Despite everything I'm happy to say I'm still very interested in ufos and the paranormal, which honestly might be a bit cringy in itself, but there's something weirdly comforting and nostalgic about it.
Bonnie we are kindred spirits. I was obsessed with paranormal shit and was listening to Art Bell and reading Whitley Strieber at that age.
This one time I was crying because I thought a chupacabra was gonna come eat our dog. The relentless familial ridicule stung way worse than the cringe tho LMAO
She's not irl Tina, I am. I actually wrote friend fiction about my oneitis because she threatened self-harm if I didn't. It was a weird codependent and toxic
friendship. The worst part is that the stories were about her and the teacher she had a crush on and she didn't like me back
aw im the same, my paranormal interest didnt come till a little later (11/12) but i had had a horrible fear of aliens and government agencies (i live in a 5eyes country) which i think is why i was so fascinated by /x/ and stuff. i had a horror of chupacabras eating my pets too! and i also still get ridiculed by my family to this day lol.
anyway my embarrassing story:> be me 14y/o> be in the psych ward> mom comes to visit> stony faced as to be expected but something feels off> she takes me out for a walk> "anon i was going through stuff in your room…"> oh god> was homestuck sperg/weeb at the time and wrote/drew gratuitous joke nsfw for my friends, as well as writing serious lesbian nsfw for private consumption> fucked up by internet so blossoming bdsm fetish> MOM FOUND THE HOMESTUCK PORN> starts basically asking me if i'd been molested, tells me she's giving my computer to the cops because she thinks im being groomed> punctuates this with awkward reassurance that its "ok if [im] gay"> cried basically the entire walk out of pure embarrassment
in hindisght the story actually just shows how much my mom cared about me i suppose. i wasn't being groomed (personally, there's an argument to be made that my general internet use and transient interactions "groomed" me in a way…) and i got my computer back a few days after i got out of the psych ward. but man i just have like the vivid memory of her being like "i found some stuff you wrote and drew…" and just instantly shrivelling up and dying inside lmao
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for my make a wish wish, I asked for a laptop lol. it was like 2005 or smth but I still cringe so bad about my lame ass wish. picrel is the gay computer I got
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You reminded me of when my Mom found out that I looked at porn because one day I guess I had Pornhub just in the address bar, but not entered in. Then she dug around in the Internet history and found some kind of Adult Friend Finder thing that I must have accidentally clicked an ad for and assumed that I was talking with old men on line and for some reason thought that the next day I would text them about it, but didn't take my cellphone away, so if I was being groomed, I pretty much could have still stayed in contact with them. Then she wanted to know if I'd been molested by this one creepy "friend of the family" who was bi-sexual and turned out to be addicted to crack cocaine. One week he and I were alone while my mom and step-father did something out of state and he didn't molest me or anything, but seriously what the fuck. Then my Mom looked at some more of my Internet history and thankfully didn't find any of the weird porn I was looking at, but did find my Google Images searches where I Googled all kinds of random crap to see what would turn up. Of course she only looked at the ones that said edgy stuff like "hate" or "sadness" or "depression," but they weren't all edgy, I swear! That was a bad time.
That's actually really sweet of your mom. Super embarassing, but she loves you!
My personal cringe is how much my friends and I talked about sex in public. At the time, we thought we were so ~kewl~ because we were sexually open and accepting (despite not actually being sexually active), and it's fun to talk about sex. I just think back to anyone who may have heard us and it's so embarrassing.