[ Rules ] [ ot / g / m ] [ pt / snow / w ] [ meta ] [ Matrix ] [ Discord ]

/ot/ - off-topic

Name
Email
Subject
Comment
File
Youtube
Password
(For post deletion)

File: 1602737213390.jpg (113.46 KB, 1280x720, maxresdefault.jpg)

No. 656138

What has been the lowest point in your life?
Are you living through it?
What's the worst that you've had it?
What's your saddest, angriest, scariest, or most embarassing story or memory?
Was it your fault or did circumstances lead to it?
Did someone do you wrong on purpose?
How did you overcome it, or how do you plan to overcome it?

Share the lowest point in your life. It could anything ranging from the most traumatic shit ever ("I smoke too much weed and burnt my house down") to just a silly embarassing story ("I shat myself in front of class while wearing cat ears"). Please don't try to one up each other or try to seek pity points.

No. 656143

My lowest point is right now. Can't stop coming to this site. I just love laughing at Shayna's faces. Dammit.

No. 656146

Is this a fetish thing?

No. 656151

>>656146
No?
I legit feel like this is the lowest point in my life. It's been 4 years since my dad died, I'm overweight, I have a poor diet because I'm broke, I have depression, and my mom has scholisis. I just wanted to read some other people's experiences and how they got out of it. I'm not losing hope.

Pic is A silent voice btw, not fetishy at all

No. 656167

>>656143
Fuck anon, same. I can always tell when I'm on the brink of a breakdown or are going through one when I find myself going to Shatna's thread multiple times a day.

No. 656180

Lowest point is probably now. I'm the most self-aware I've ever been and have so many options to fix my situation but I still won't. Time has run out for me.

No. 656197

Ive never told anyone this but the lowest point in my life was about 5 years ago. I was living alone. I got so severely depressed, i let my apartment become a gnat infested cesspool. For at least a couple weeks i didnt shower and never went outside. Just cried a LOT and chain smoked cigarettes on my bedroom floor. I finally couldnt take it anymore, and the gnats got so bad they landed on me while i was sleeping, so i finally walked to the store and got gloves, a mask, a couple cans of raid and garbage bags and took care of it. Really hurts when i think back on it and realize just how much pain i was in…

No. 656234

Another self pity thread? Jesus Christ use the other 5 that cater to this.

No. 656239

Wow, I actually thought about making a thread exactly like this yesterday.

My lowest point was when I was a drug addict, suicidal, laying in bed all day, only got up to get a refill on my oxy/heroin/tramadol or whatever and to eat. I remember that my phone at the time had counted only about 200 steps on many days. I also was a huge cow, had several drug-induced psychoses and went on long psychotic rants and posted uncanny shit along with thousands of selfies on social media. I felt like shit, hated myself and made an ass of myself for everyone to see. There's more to it but I don't want to go into specifics rn.

No. 656247

>>656197
I went trought the same thing anon, except it lasted almost six month. Also my water heater broke so I stopped showering for one whole winter…
I also isolated myself so much I started talking to myself and had a fully developped imaginary life with friends, a fictionnal love interest, etc.
It was three years ago, looking back on it I can't believe no one did anything, I talked to my parents about it and all they said is they were really afraid I'd kms but didn't know what to do.

No. 656248

>>656234
don't use the lord's name in vain, salty anon

No. 656271

it wasn't as bad as others but it was no way to live…
all throughout middle school i was always an outcast and didn't care about anything but i had friends. then in highschool i was pretty much alone but i kinda got used to everyone "hating" me, aside from very few select people.

then i started living alone for uni and…yeah, i was used to being alone and thought no liked me so i stayed alone and didn't make friends. my flat was so disgusting. i'd have 4 trash bags on the floor at once. didn't have it in me to cook anything. i had no dreams or hope except for one thing (which ended up "fixing" me). i was just going through the motions. got good grades because i literally did nothing outside of school work. i never worked out or even walked, i didn't get a lot of sunlight, walking for 30 minutes was an accomplishment for me.
my life only existed online, in fandoms. i obsessed over relationships and interactions of fictional characters or real people i stanned.

i wasn't suicidal or addicted to anything but it was just…so one-note, void of happiness, nothing to look forward to. i wasn't taking care of myself at all, because nothing mattered. i eventually had the opportunity to start over, in a way. now i'm finally living life, maybe for the first time tbh.

No. 656280

File: 1602756544865.png (1.54 MB, 1786x1030, 1380467508227.png)

My sadness mostly came from just multiple 4/10 years adding up into a melancholy youth and young adult hood. What is sad is that 14 years later i still think i did good with the people i was surrounded by.

There were definitely some dips though.
Grade 7 where i went from a popular grade 6 school captain to a unpopular grade 7 who hung out with a group and nobody wanted to be friends with me for a year. Rest of highschool was a 4/10 experience.

5 years ago when i was a neet though and was struggling to get my foot through the door to land a job for a couple of months only to get a job through mum pulling strings. I have never felt so worthless. I've proved myself as a good employee but i still don't know how to succeed if i was put into that situation again.

Otherwise i've had some dips in depression but for the most part i'm doing well now.
I've never had a super low low, just a decade of being surrounded by people i struggled to connect with and who didn't really want to be my friend. I was the sympathy 'friend'

No. 656319

TW: Self Harm

I remember sat in the bath after self harming and sobbing quietly. This was a few years ago. I haven’t self harmed since Feb. Anons who struggle with this too. You can stop too! I am sending hugs to anyone who can relate to this

No. 656382

A few years ago when I was in college and just stopped going outside of my flat, I'd wake up, go on computer, eat, cut, then go to sleep for like 14 hours. I dropped out in the end because I had no will to live left to file an appeal. And moved back in with my parents to be neet.

There was lots of reasons but the main one was that I just couldn't keep fighting to be a normie anymore. I found out I was autistic recently, everything matches but I don't know if ill be able to get an official diagnosis since female autism is a meme to health professionals (come for me diagnosis reeing scum kek).

No. 656388

>>656234
Kek right? Funny that a thread made for farming asspats, none of the posts gets replies, they all just talk about themselves and leave.
>>656319
Back to PULL with you.

No. 656389

There's been several but one that I've just recently began to reflect on was simply making the fucked up choice to stay with an addict. I went against my own better judgement of thinking there's good in everyone and they just need help to find it blah blah blah. Never go against your instincts. Some people do need help but if someone only hurts you when you're genuinely trying to show them love and support break it off. You can't help those that don't want to take accountability for their actions and they'll just drag you down too.

No. 656393

My life generally isn't the best but the lowest point of my life happened when I was at university. I tried to purposely OD'd on heroin and alcohol because I was/am a NEET, I was failing my classes because of severe depression and social anxiety, and my only friend at the time stopped talking to me because I was a mess. The good and bad thing is that I survived and I had to drop out and go to rehab. TBH I haven't recovered since then and besides a few side jobs and classes, I feel like I haven't done anything in my life other than slowly decompose.

No. 656398

>>656319
Good for you, anon!

No. 656399

>>656319
hugs to you too anon! i used to do it when i was younger and havent done it in years. the self destructive behaviour has taken other not so life threatening routes so it's a struggle that i face everyday

No. 656404

>>656388
Lul then hide the threads or fuck off back to pt so you can talk about moo's latest shit.

No. 656432

This is DEFINITELY some scrote's fetish but whatever.
> Be me at 15
> Parents who had been divorced for years still constantly put me in between their fights, my dad had a drunken episode where he pushed me down the stairs
> Went to live with my mother who didn't give a shit about me and let my life spiral downwards for the year I lived with her
> Mom was preoccupied with dating men
> Had an eating disorder which was helped with appetite suppressant drugs prescribed by a psychiatrist to stop my binging, lost 30 pounds in a few months bc I ate 400 calories a day
> Self harm addiction, always cut on my arms and literally carved a word on the inside of my wrist so it's there for life now fml
> Took any drugs I could get my hands on but was too poor to get addicted on them. Did 25c-nbome a lot, including one night where i took THREE times my suggested dosage and got naked and ran around my house. That drug specifically apparently has resulted in brain damage for a lot of people and might be the reason i have severe adhd symptoms today LOL.
> Shoplifted with my only friend until I got caught and nearly got a felony charge. My mom told me she knew I was shoplifting but apparently did nothing to stop me?
> Used to be an As student but got Bs and Cs. My medication made me actually retarded. Couldn't spell basic words.
> Swore I would kill myself before 18.

I'm 22 and still depressed/anxious but managed to graduate from college and am applying to graduate programs. My life definitely turned out for the better thanks to my dad who took me in the next year.

No. 656436

>>656432
>scrote fetish
Stooooop, it isn't
Do you think a scrote would actually come and read shit about our shitty whatever lives? they rather wack off to some hardcore bdsm incest shit than read self pitying posts on this god forsaken website
Holy shit not everything is a fetish

No. 656449

>>656436
>scrotes wouldn’t jack off to women’s misery and trauma
Nta but Um Actually, they would.

No. 656453

>>656404
The projection. Gonna need some trigger warnings for that.

No. 656514

>>656138
i graduated highschool over a year ago and have been climbing out of that low point. i struggle with disordered eating, and much worse purging when i was 14-15. cutting/self harm too. was super attention seeking to men on kik or discord. i was abusing drugs on and off, but especially in my senior year. multiple benders of acid and molly. i also am coping with trauma from a year long abusive relationship i escaped from at the beginning of senior year. believed everyone hated me so i hardly socialized. i definitely started to improve when i started college, but it's not a straight line recovery.

No. 656543

>>656436
Yes, they would. You're naive if you think nobody in the world would have this fetish.

No. 656659

>>656388
Why back to PULL lol? You do realise what the topic of this thread is? To share stories such as that. Why did you even bother to reply lmao

No. 656677

My lowest point of my life was when I got kicked of my mom’s insurance, which made me lose my meds, having Caudill sex often, was drinking and doing coke constantly and led me to get sexually assaulted. I remember making really dumb, irrational decisions. Life hasn’t been perfect since but I managed to keep some consistency here and there, plus improvements. That was like 3 years ago.

No. 656683

>>656677
*casual sex
Fucking hate being on my phone

No. 656708

>>656677
Your life sounds more exciting than mine. Never had a cool partying phase and I hate coke.

No. 656720

File: 1602796803980.jpg (77.08 KB, 640x413, 4662382.jpg)

i love the women here lmao. i don't think OP is a scrote with a fetish but the skepticism about that truly means you are all my people. there's no shame in having a shitty past and I think a lot of this thread has to do with how people have managed to climb out of it. scrotes that would jack off to such a concept should kill themselves <3

No. 656721

>>656720
aw anon i love you <3

No. 656727

The time I accidentally killed my nintendog

No. 656735

>>656727
Wait what, Nintendogs are immortal?

No. 656785

>>656735
It's retard bait, leave it be

No. 656810

File: 1602805737687.jpg (319.75 KB, 1300x1200, gIy9GOZ.jpg)

when i was a teenager (like 13-14) and self harming all the time i flipped over every piece of furniture in the house when i was having an episode and never showered, room had wasps constantly and i never cleaned it, was being sexually abused by a smelly ugly guy

i was also extremely overmedicated on antipsychotics and asleep most of the day

can't even list the lowest moment because it's too disgusting

god it still haunts me i work on becoming more of a normie every day, though the benefit is that i'm overly cautious with everything i do now

No. 656870

File: 1602813681892.png (97.95 KB, 192x275, D6846513-64CA-44CD-8013-FBDA8C…)

i tried to jump off my apartment building the other day but my bf caught me and dragged me back over the ledge and screamed at me calling me a stupid bitch while i was retching on the floor from crying so hard. im not going into the whys because honestly it would take way too long but i feel like that best illustrates where im at. it stings worse because last year at this time i was overseas living my dream. i feel like i peaked and the moment i got home my life has been constantly sabotaged by everyone who was supposed to love me.

No. 656874

lowest point of my life is thinking I had it bad then coming into this thread

No. 656875

>>656870
I’m sorry anon I hope you feel better stay strong

No. 656877

>>656870
what happened?

No. 656929

I'd say my lowest point was throughout my late teens into my early twenties. I had a lot of repressed trauma that manifested in the form of sexual impulse and alcoholism. Turned into a lot of shitty situations for years to come. Took me a good 8 years and a lot of fucked up relationships to finally come to my senses and attempt to get help.

I'm in a better place now but I still struggle with the demons from that point in my life and still have trouble with some left over bad habits. I cringe to myself often with memories of how I acted out. Thinking that that's how people might still view me makes me want to die of embarrassment but hey, what can you do I guess. At least I can say I'm truer to myself these days than I ever was when I was younger…. and that feels rewarding.

No. 656933

>>656870
Anon I’m sorry you’re having a hard time but I think it’s also very important that you be honest with yourself. I don’t a-log or think people deserve to do things the ‘right’ way, but you didn’t try to jump off your apartment building because your bf wouldn’t have been able to pull you back so quickly if you weren’t just standing there thinking about. You wanted to be found and comforted, and that isn’t a bad thing. But it’s very important for you to be able to distinguish to yourself when something is a cry for help vs a real attempt.

No. 656957

>>656720
Aw, anon, you're a good person!

No. 656981

File: 1602835127022.jpg (137.84 KB, 820x853, IMG_20190811_000429.jpg)

Id say around this time last year was my lowest point in life. Nothing was going my way, a close friend betrayed and hurted me to the point of no return. My overal health was declining, and my mental health was pretty much shit…I can't even get out of bed without feeling a ton of weight dragging me down. This even put a toll and affect my studies too, so my grades were pretty much shit from all of the combination above. Everyday is toture from just waking up and having to go out and socialize, it just seems like nothing can really cure the sadness in my heart no matter what i do. I'd say im better now, things did get better over the time. I learnt to understand that people come and go, learn that everything needs time to heal and focus more on the people that loved you rather than hated you. It really hurts but it made me grow as a person. To all of the anon here that are currently having a hard time, things do get better and remember to have hope because it really carries u through out.
I love all of you, please take care!!!

No. 656995

>>656981
What did your friend do?

No. 657118

>>656995
>>656877
I love how gossipy we are on this gossip website, we always ask why what how and when to the most fucked up shit

No. 657254

>>657118
Give the people what they want, after all

No. 657296

>>656810
good luck anon, your story is fucking crazy but you are surviving

No. 657432

Not as bad as other anons here, just a typical story of someone who was molested some years in their childhood. In my middle to late teens (like 15-18) I guess the effects of molestation finally started showing through and I became extremely hypersexual both offline and online. Extremely disordered eating after I got coerced into giving oral, lost a shitton of weight and still can't gain it back. My most shameful moments were drinking my own pee during a particular bad breakdown, letting a middle aged man I was seeing pee on me. I regret it so bad, my mind was an absolute fucking wreck during those years. I cried so much every day on my bathroom floor. I also once exchanged underaged nudes of me for some mobile balance because we didn't have wifi for a while. I am doing better than before at least, minimal interaction with men and focusing on my studies and my hobbies. I'm still depressed but I'm working on myself and trying to be better!

No. 657439

A week after I bring my boyfriend to a city he always dreamed of going to, he dumped me, ignored my spiral down, refused to allow me to vent my suicidal feelings after losing family members within that same week, then brought the 17 yr old he was going to hook up with to pick up the things I was leaving him before offing myself


Ladies, never help a man, never make a man's dreams come true, they never appreciate anything and you'll never receive anything more than a thank you if even that

No. 657441

>>657439
Kill him wtf

No. 657468

The latter two years of college for me. I attended art school and the incredible pressure of thesis year and the unanswerable question of what I'd do after graduation (coming to terms with the fact that my artistic job prospects were nil) ramped up my mental illness 1000%. I had super-irrational fears and rituals going on, I was suicidal to the point that I didn't bother signing up for a dorm room my senior year. When I didn't go through with it, I scrambled to find a shitty sublet (another awful experience, and in the process of moving there I had a breakdown and threw out all my clothes/sheets), then after like 5 apartment searches fell through for me, I found one and proceeded to spend the whole of my senior year turning my bedroom into a gross hoarder hell. The other women in the apartment (understandably) resented me for being a gross freak and causing multiple bug infestations in the apartment thanks to the unbelievable amounts of trash and takeout containers in my room. Somehow through all this I finished my thesis project, but its presentation and my subsequent graduation were all total non-events that my family didn't bother to show up to, save for my dad, who seemed very fixated on having me move out of the apartment and in with him, which I was NOT going to do because I knew if I did I'd be a stay-at-home NEET for the rest of my life.

Through sheer luck I got my first job (in food service, lmao) and made enough to move apartments (THAT move was also a nightmare but a brief one). The space fucking sucked but just the act of leaving the previous place, and not worrying about school anymore, and making peace with the fact that I didn't have to slave away making portfolio pieces to then find a shitty, unstable creative gig, drastically improved my mental health. I had some serious mental and financial dips after that, but nothing came close to being as bad as when I was hunched over some uncomfortable improvised furniture drawing on a tiny tablet in that garbage-filled room.

No. 657469

One if my lowest points was after i was kicked out if school. I was living by my own and became really depressed. I was only eating a pack of ramen and ben and jerries. I was ignoring all my friends and family - one day a friend came and knocked in my door and windows if I’m home etc and i was just hiding in my bathroom until she went away. All i did was play mmorpgs lmao

No. 657470

>>657439
He needs to fucking die.

No. 657477

>>657439
>Ladies, never help a man, never make a man's dreams come true

I actively make men miserable. The only part of me I'll ever give a man is the contents of my bladder

No. 657482

>>657477
is this pissanon? i love you

No. 657485

>>657432
>minimal interaction with men
love it. i'm the same lol

No. 657518

>>657477
>I actively make men miserable.

Please teach me your ways.

No. 657527

>>657518
Seconded.

No. 657697

>>657439
anon your ex bf sounds like one of my ex friends… don't think they are the same person but equally as horrible.

No. 657771

This shit is gonna sound fake af, but I'm gonna tell it anyways.
>raised in the bad part of the city, couldn't finish high school because of money
>start working to get money to go to school, but abusive mom steals it
>abusive mom that beats me and kicks me out of the house on a literal sense
>had low self esteem and literally 0 family or friends to support me, mom was disowned for getting pregnant at young age, and every kid I know is on a similar situation as me
>start dating a guy that becomes pretty abusive and violent, we have an off/on relationship and he constantly cheats with other girls
>mom kicks me out of the house, and I was too scared to couch surfing again, since she found me the last time I did
>ask abusive boyfriend if he can let me stay at his home, tell him I would do anything he wants so I don't have to go back
>boyfriend agrees, but when I go to his home shit gets bad
>doesn't allow me to wear clothes, yells at me, makes me pee on a towel cause I'm not allowed to get out of the room, starts hitting me too
>my friends call him asking if he knows where I am, he lies and says he doesn't know shit
>too scared to ran away, or to call the police, assume they would probably says is my fault for dating that asshole in the first place, and returning with my mom isn't an option
>boyfriend gets mad because of random shit, and I'm forced to get out of the house via a window when he isn't in the room
>get to a friends house wearing clothes I got from his closet, arrived there at foot, have 0 cash nor cellphone
>get help from friend to find a job and get on my foot again, avoid abusive ex
>said ex starts stalking me and harassing me
>start having panic attacks, suicidal ideas, and blackouts
>friend takes me to seek help, turns out I have PTSD

Eventually I got out of that stuff, and while my life is not exactly perfect right now, and still have a lot of problems, but at least I'm not using a towel instead of a bathroom, living in some drunk guy room.

No. 657813

File: 1602936807485.png (131.14 KB, 728x415, JH65NB3g.png)

I spent 19-24 in an awkward LDR with a woman I never even met irl. She treated me like shit and used me as a therapist. I was completely done after one year but I stayed for another four because I was terrified that if I left she would hurt/kill herself, and I guess felt like I didn't deserve better anyway. I had a really sad childhood so being in that relationship brought up all my old trauma and I was an anxious self-loathing mess 24/7.

I'm also like 99% sure she was straight lol. She said she was bi but only ever really talked about men and didn't have much sexual interest in me. I feel absolutely retarded for not ending it sooner. Literally all I had to do was block her and it would have been over but I just froze and watched years of my life go down the drain. It's been a year since I ended it but I haven't tried dating yet because I have no idea where to start as a 25 year old khv with that level of relationship baggage in my past.

No. 657853

>>657468
I feel bad for your ex roommates, I hope you tried to make it up to them. Living with someone that has little regard for hygiene or sanitation makes for an extremely stressful home environment.

No. 657865

>>657771
I'm glad you're alive and had a friend anon, you survived a wild ride

No. 657877

>>657771
Nothing I say could compare. You're strong for escaping that. I really, really hope things get better for you.

No. 657879

>>657771
He needs to be put down

No. 657947

>>657853

Unfortunately I ghosted them when I moved out (out of a mix of shame and my own irrational hatred for them) but to give myself a very tiny amount of credit, I did keep the mess STRICTLY contained in my own room, didn't mess up "their" kitchen, the bathroom (I had my own), or the living room. I also did clean up when I left. Still doesn't make my actions okay at all, but I could've done worse I guess.

No. 657950

>>657771

Holy shit, what a psycho. The cops probably wouldn't have helped either, I'm glad you got out of there.

No. 657954

>>657771
Jesus christ, anon. Congrats on getting of out of that shit, you should be proud. That's amazing.
Hope your ex rots in hell.

No. 657986

>>657296
thank you anon, i am way past that now and live a very stable life, i just get worried i'll suddenly relapse to that time again sometimes

No. 658010

File: 1602960205125.gif (238.83 KB, 220x220, J3.gif)

Living through it right now.

I come from an almost poor family, parents were always neglectful, am mentally ill but coping, live in a tiny town with shit transport, too poor to buy a car or get education, parents rely on me a lot despite being the unwanted younger child.

Had an upper middle class fiance that I was in a relationship for 6 years, his family liked me and we were close, his friends liked me too, was looking for a job in his town, we were supposed to move in together. Felt like I had my life together and was so so so happy - got dumped, have a dead end job that pays minimum now, mental illness got worse, father got cancer and his condition could get worse any day, too poor to afford an education, car, move out/rent, no friends.

Yey.

I'm trying hard to get back on my feet but damn it's like all the odds in life are against me.

No. 658031

>>657947
I mean, if there were bug infestations in the apartment because of your mess, then you didn't "strictly contain" the mess. Could have been worse, could have been better.

No. 658298

File: 1602993740396.jpeg (91.01 KB, 720x629, 6DAC4152-692B-404E-83E8-1D8335…)

Sadly my lowest point was my childhood.
>being severely abused
>being sexually abused by three different family members
>tell mother says I’m lying about the abuse
>mother then puts me into a day care which I get sexually abused again, then I let it slip that this type of thing happens to me already so they get my mom involved
>mom tries to kill me multiple times

Shit’s fucking wild

No. 658302

>>658298
Anon i am so sorry. Please tell me you cut your mother off.

No. 658332

File: 1602997984296.jpg (45.17 KB, 540x405, tumblr_pt31asNyUi1s5bd7x_540.j…)

Damn, mine feels like nothing compared to some of these but a few years ago I was om the road to becoming a hikikomori. I had just graduated and didn't have a plan or money for college, had no job, no car, and lost contact with all my friends. I felt so shitty about myself I didn't leave my room, look in the mirror, eat or interact with anybody until it was nighttime. I'd mostly pass the day binging videos and pretending to sleep do no one would talk to me (even though I couldn't). It genuinely felt like I had no joy in anything I did. I constantly thought about suicide but was too pathetic to even attempt that or do anything really. I'm better off now, I went to school even if I didn't finish, have a job and a few people I talk to. I'm not where I want to be yet but it's better than where I was. Sorry for everyone still going through a tough time. I know its cliche to say 'things will get better' but sometimes it's so hard to see how bad/good times are without hindsight later. Hopefully we'll get through this.

No. 658354

>>658332

I'm glad you dug yourself out of all that and didn't go full hikikomori. Keep it up!

No. 658355

>>658302

I second this. That is such a fucked situation and all too common unfortunately. I hope you're in a better place now.

No. 658434

>>658332
Damn anon please tell me how you got out. I'm still stuck here.

No. 658638

>>658302
>>658355
I haven’t spoken to her in seven years because we got into a fight and cops got involved

No. 658932

File: 1603065589875.jpg (42.63 KB, 640x480, dalecrying.jpg)

>be me at 12
>have a psychotic tiger mom obssessed with sending you to the best highschool in the country, private tutoring until 12am every weekday for 3 years+extra school on the weekdays
>mom installs a security camera inside your room so she can monitor you
>moms yelling and berating you all the time, hair falling out from stress you have a giant bald spot before you got your first period, start doing weird self-harm stuff to kys like eating pesticide, hitting your head to the wall, inhaling water, punching your stomach
>no one at school likes you cause you're a fat bald dork with glasses and acne, your crush asks you if you could ask your best friend to go to prom with him
>couldnt get in the school your mom wanted, she goes apeshit, you're having a mental breakdown because you think your life is over
>attempt suicide by jumping off the 7th floor, get caught, take a bottle of your grandma's heart pills
>parents going through a divorce, mom visits you in the hospital and tells you to tell the authorities you did it over a boy so she doesnt lose your custody
>horribly depressed from 13-16, your only safe place is the internet because your mom and little brother hate you and your dad is not in your life anymore
>mom thinks you're spending too much time on the computer, sends you to a mountain house with your grandma who has alzheimers
>no internet, nothing to do besides watching the same 10 say yes to the dress episodes on tv for months
>go back to school, everyones talking about vine and snapchat, you dont know what those are cause you've been isolated for so long also you dont have a phone and you're not allowed to go out so your friends desert you
>meet weirdos online who teach you ways to cut yourself and purge, go to school high on your grandma's xanax everyday, failing every class
>get sexually assaulted by a close family member tell your mom first because she's a woman and she's your mom, she doesnt believe you so you tell your uncle who is the only person who believes you and threatens the abuser
>your uncle dies

my life got so much better after going to college but i'm back at home now because of the pandemic and im taking care of my bedridden grandma, i love her sm but its draining my soul and mental health, this house brings nothing but bad memories ik its dumb cause i was a child when these happened and im 22 now so i should be over it by now and people go through actual traumatic stuff everyday and this is nothing compared to that but i feel weird being in my old room again

No. 659028

>>658932
your trauma is completely valid anon and what you’re doing to help care for your grandmother is honorable.

No. 659101

I think the happiest I’ve ever been was the day I found out I was pregnant
I was married and happy
Then I had a miscarriage and my marriage ended a few years later
And now I feel like I’m almost at my worst mental state
I feel like my life stopped after the divorce
I haven’t finished uni, can’t find a stable job, can’t find a stable relationship
I’m just super lonely and depressed

No. 659105

>>659101
Can you move in with family fof a bit and attend school with a p/t job?

No. 659138

>>656933
thats not what happened, he'd chased me out. he was in a drug induced psychosis and i hadn't slept or eaten in days, he was screaming nonsense and treating me like he hated me for no reason and i at that point was just so sick of being gaslit and hated (not just by him but all the people i love tend to do this, my parents and my ex-best friend did) that jumping seemed like the best option, both to get away from him and to hopefully break my neck

No. 659148

File: 1603098402610.jpg (84.2 KB, 728x486, cat-love.jpg)

i love u beautiful anons <3
you'll make it, keep your chin up queens

No. 659356

right fucking now. i have an ok job and friends but i've never felt so lost and depressed. i have no purpose and no motivation for anything. i'm going to theray but it doesn't seem to help. i just wanna go to sleep and never wake up again

No. 661689

>>658932
anon you should….not expect to just be over this at 22, it sounds like your mom/upbringing built in you dismissing how bad things actually are. i'd make it a goal to find a good therapist

No. 730641

I'm so fucking depressed and can't focus for shit, this might be my lowest point. Wishing for my high point soon.

No. 730658

>>730641
I'm wishing you wouldn't dig up the dustiest threads to bump

No. 730901

Probably finding out my ex-boyfriend cheated on me with underage girls and being in full blown denial about it for years.

No. 730924

File: 1612541211433.jpg (47.29 KB, 564x559, 38fee6eb67f229db4f41fa898fec10…)

Bullies in school really made my life miserable as a teen. It got almost to the point of me not wanting to live anymore. My parent's didn't even help me enough, my school principal didn't even let me switch schools or quit school because i had to finish this shitty school before i could do that.

I was stuck there and couldn't get any help whatsoever. I also planned to take my life on my birthday at midnight, because no one helped me, if no one helped me or tried to get me out of this hell, then why would they even care i died? i didn't go through with it thank god, but it still fucking haunts me and still fucking breaks me that i had to suffer through all of this and didn't even get any sort of help.

Im alright tho, and got my shit together. Im still looking into therapy and trying to safe up money incase i do have to buy medication if i get diagnosed with shit tons of mental illnesses, which i probably do since the constant bullying i had to go through really fucked up my mental.

Anyway, school fucking sucks and i dont see why it's fun and why people love it so much when it only has been miserable for me, maybe im just pessimistic.

No. 730954

>>730901
oh my fuck im so fucking sorry this happened to you anon. i hope you're doing well, you deserve and deserved so much better than that scum.

No. 730957

Been through some shit as an adult (losing a parent, my marriage ending suddenly, being cheated on) but similar to >>730924 it probably was teen bullying that was my worst point. Mainly because as an adult you gain some resilience with age but back then everything hit harder.

I was bullied through all of primary school without anything being done to help. I was delighted when I got to move on to secondary school (highschool) but within months of joining I just had a new group that saw me as a quiet person and so a target. I was put on SSRIs and according to the warning label they can make you feel worse at first especially if prescribed to that age group (12/13) I was in a weird state of mind on them and ended up overdosing on them and a mix of my moms various medications. I was in hospital for a couple weeks on drips and having my liver and kidneys tested.

When I eventually went back to school one of the bullies immediately walks up to me and taunts me about the overdose. How the fuck did she even know?? She had to have heard about it through school staff. We never got answers on that. I really tried to return to school but my anxiety levels were through the roof, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and I just wanted to die but I didn't want to hurt my mom. At first I would just barely show up but I left the school eventually.

One day when I was already out of school entirely, the same taunter showed up at my house (again no fucking idea where she got my address from) She spray painted something on our front wall (garden wall, not the house itself) Me and my mom just watched from inside the house. My mom didn't even want to confront her. She never allowed me to see what was written that day but I can only imagine it was telling me to kill myself. Or maybe she knew about my moms cancer seeing as someone was feeding her info? No idea what the girls problem was but at 13 she had made quite the trip to my house just to get that dig in after I'd already left the school months earlier. Looking back I imagine her own home life had something fucked up in it? to be that driven to try and torment someone. The rest of my teens was spent housebound. My mom died. I still don't know what she sprayed or who at the school was telling her that personal info.

No. 730982

>>730957
I'm so sorry, anon. That's horrendous. It sounds like you're being very magnanimous about it and I hope that's because you've processed it, but if not please remember you're allowed to be furious and petty and sad. I hope life is a bit easier for you now. Lots of love.

No. 730996

Christmas Day, 2020. I was in a psychiatric ward, in isolation because I caught COVID in the hospital after an infected patient had sexually assaulted me in my dorm. I had just had a major health event and as soon as I was stable they sectioned me. Nobody called me or sent a message. None of the nurses stopped in. I was offered a salad sandwich as Christmas Dinner which I didn't eat. I was suffering extreme pain from nerve damage after a spinal injury. I had recently received an email from my supervisor saying that my scholarship could be pulled if I was ill for much longer.
I sat by the window, but it was translucent so I couldn't see anything. From outside I heard the laughs and shouts of the girl who had assaulted me.
It's just crystallized as a moment of pure despair for me.

No. 731282

File: 1612572167515.jpg (31.44 KB, 598x598, kyWglqN.jpg)

Sending and receiving nudes from Projared.

No. 731290

>>730996
What the fuck? So you went through a health crisis, got sexually assaulted in your own dorm by a girl, and she gave you covid so you had to be put away? I'm so sorry anon that's awful. Fuck her, and fuck your school for trying to take your education away.

No. 731598

>>731282
Oh my god please share the story and also post in >>715719 because this can't have been the only case…

No. 731599

>>731598
There was actually a anon who claimed to have received nudes from Projared a couple months ago. They typed like a redditor and were in the PJ and Holly thread a lot. I wonder if that's the same anon.

No. 731631

>>731599
other anons made the same claim when the whole drama started. idk if its the same anon or projared sexted every other farmer.

No. 731635

>>731290
Yes. It was rough. Thank you, anon. I've been home for two weeks now but I'm still trying to process everything.

No. 731647

File: 1612610141860.jpg (91.44 KB, 1470x1040, 1539127890718.jpg)

Not sure if it was my lowest point, but definitely when things started going to shit.
>dysfunctional and abusive family, use internet as escapism
>tfw no dad either
>meet a guy in my state on omegle using the minecraft tag (kek) when i was 11
>he said he was older than me but he loved me so we start dating anyway
>happy to finally be loved in my life and have something to look forward to
>we met up a couple times at a park, but he was paranoid so never came to anything but kissing
>mom finds out after i leave my phone out and she snoops on the messages between us
>she freaks out and yells at me. she tells me she's going to call the police on me and get me arrested. she breaks my phone and slaps me
>still makes me go to school that day
>when i get home she tells me she is taking away my phone and computer, she calls the police in front of me
>i thought my life was over and that i was gonna go to jail. i beg my mom for forgiveness and cry
>she still berates me
>nothing ever came from it(?) except apparently he lied about his age (was actually in his 40s). she took away my phone and computer for the summer
>she held this over my head for years afterward and actually mocked me for something i sent (i called him "daddy")

>tfw this experience still didnt stop me from dating older men in my pre-teen/teen years

>tfw this experience taught me to never call the police, even when i was raped at 13
>tfw fuck you mom

No. 731656

>>731647
>>she held this over my head for years afterward and actually mocked me for something i sent (i called him "daddy")
why do mothers do this

No. 731752

>>731647
Would it of killed her to just talk to you about internet/scrote safety? Turning you into the criminal and knowing at 11/12 you don't have the capacity to know that's bullshit logic.. I hate it.

There was similar tones of "if you get abused it's your own fault" in my fam too. Of course nobody even warns you about red flags in advance either. Sorry anon.

No. 732569

>>730954
Thank you, kind anon. I am doing much better since then and have mostly moved on, other than the fact I am still somewhat paranoid and occasionally do things like secretly go through my husband's phone and computer for the peace of mind that he's not a complete degenerate like my ex. I know that's probably a tad bit shitty of me, but this experience has taught me that you never can truly 100% know a person, and I'd rather be that snoopy bitch who spies on her spouse than be a pedo's cuckerina ever again.

No. 733594

> Mid of 2017, I was in college…
> Extremely burnt out, started failing everything
> Could not keep anymore, dropped (it was my last year)
> Plan to sudoku after 2018 celebrations
> Feeling so much pain, so much I can't even put into words
> Body starts crumbling down: hard episodes of diarrhea and vomits
> Exams points nothing, I redid 3x then gave up
> Get to the point of barely having strenght to walk
> get to 39 kgs
> Fell ill physically and mentally 24/7.
> I basically spent the whole year of 2018 vomiting, shitting, crying, and laying in bed trying to not feel so much pain, waiting for death
I truly thought I was gonna die, I don't even know how, but I did a full 180° on life.

No. 733616

>>731647
Holy fuck you knocked the wind out of me. Sorry this all happened to you anon. That’s some pretty grade A fucked up bullshit

No. 734372

Well current situation shouldn't theoretically be the lowest point of my life, as few years back I have experienced depressive episodes where I would just cry and couldn't get out of bed for months but right now:
- I have job, but my office is a very toxic enviroment
- Feel sad and anxious almost every day
- Pandemic sitation along with economic crisis just makes me feel like I will be stuck in this toxic enviroment for a long time and that I'm hopeless.

Even though I am doing best I can (further studies and specialization so I can find a new job, healthy diet, having supportive friends and famioy and so on..) I still get hopeless easily and get extremely sad and past year got me feeling very low.

No. 734392

>>733594
Is your anus okay? legit question cause I can't believe you shat your life away



Delete Post [ ]
[Return] [Catalog]
[ Rules ] [ ot / g / m ] [ pt / snow / w ] [ meta ] [ Matrix ] [ Discord ]