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File: 1595830545209.jpg (34.35 KB, 640x576, 1580059131779.jpg)

No. 590987

Feel like shit? So does everyone in this thread. Vent to your heart's content.

Last thread: >>>/ot/583139

No. 590990

I feel like I’m going absolutely batshit and I’m just watching myself do strange/dangerous/weird things and putting all my trust and energy into random strange men (while I’m in a fucking relationship and LIVE with my boyfriend) and I can’t STOP. I’m just watching myself lose all sense of self and control. It’s like I just want someone else to take control and tell me what to do

No. 590996

see a therapist retard. you're an adult. nobody is going to be your mommy/daddy and hold your hand through life.

No. 591004

Jesus Christ you are a flaming cunt. No one gets to use the vent thread to honestly vent anymore eh

No. 591006


Yeah for real. It's venting not "give your asshole opinion for someone's worries"

Anyways, not sure if you're the anon but I've been there before, especially in college. It's tough to break out of it. I recommend getting into an activity that totally takes you out of social environments. Like crochet? Drawing intrinsic geometric art? something that uses both hands and allows you to be by yourself for a bit, while listening to music or watching a show.

That's at you see how much you dont need those men to feel excited.

No. 591007

Why does it feel like everyone is so much smarter and happier than me? It genuinely feels like everyone within 100 miles of me that I know of is happy and successful and has a good group of friends. I feel like a fucking alien and I just want to die.

No. 591014

File: 1595834633697.jpg (91.44 KB, 500x750, 30d6007312e8c64ebef42b90815e37…)

im just love letter blogposting so i can scream my feelings into the void sorry

i had never felt romantic love until i met you. i thought that part of me was missing–like i was fundamentally broken. i've floated through relationships, but i couldn't surrender myself to them. it was all play acting; i'd resigned myself to surface level attraction and empty words.

our meeting was unlikely. it feels serendipitous, strange, even a little scary. i feel awake now. your belief in me sparked a hope i had lost years ago. you feel like home. at last, i can be vulnerable. every piece of me is yours, because i trust you'll treat them gently. i'll use each ounce of motivation and love that i can muster to lift you up–to lift us both up. together, we'll be okay.

i told you i loved you tonight, and for once i meant it. it was so easy to halfheartedly spout "i love you"s to those i didn't care for, but when i tried to tell you i could hardly get the words out. they felt heavy. they felt real. and the happiness i felt when you took my face into your hands and reciprocated my feelings–that was real, too. for once, i'm at peace.

No. 591023

There's another thread for letters in the catalog by the way. You do you though.

No. 591030

pls forgive me and my one brain cell, i'll be sure to blogpost in the right thread next time

No. 591084

getting so annoyed over an ex-friends behaviour. We fell out badly over something that was 100% my fault, I apologised but knew that I killed the friendship so I agreed to leave her alone. But it's been weeks now and she keeps posting passive aggressive comments or general jabs at me and I'm just like, fuck sake is this helping you? I want to delete and block her so badly but I worry that will make me look like even more of an asshole. I get I did wrong and she wants to hurt me back, but this just feels petty. I'm not expecting her to be okay with me, but I did expect her to stop interacting with me altogether. I guess it's working for her though because it makes me not want to use any of my social media whatsoever.

No. 591089

Wouldn't that be awesome if our actions had no consequences? You reap what you sow anon, block her if you must but if you hurt her I have no idea why are you surprised that she's acting hurt.

No. 591090

Bitch, I'm jealous. Grats and hope you two continue to be happy.

No. 591092

What is happening to me? Early 20s I have an overwhelming feeling that my life is over. All that's left is loneliness and the death of loved ones. I feel like I'll never find a permanent job, a husband, or anything that is quote on quote normal. I feel like my grandparents are going to die any day now, and that soon my father will die. I feel like everyone around me will move forward with life and I'm going to be behind and alone. I'm so scared.

No. 591093

on the one hand, vaguing you probably isn't the best thing for herself, but on the other hand you did fuck up. you even admit to it. if you do something like whatever it is that you did, you have to deal with the consequences.
when people are hurt, they get messy and hold grudges. that's one of the many reasons why we avoid hurting people as much as possible.
just try to do right by the people who still love you. that's all you can do, really.

No. 591094

that's fair, and I understand I've made my bed and I know I have to deal with the consequences. It's just frustrating, probably because I know there's nothing I can do to fix it. I think I will just avoid social media for a good while.

yeah, thanks anon. I don't want to let this one mistake define me, and without going into much detail I am making necessary steps to change from it all. But I guess the current fallout I will just have to get through.

No. 591100

I wasted 1.5 years with a dud boyfriend. I really need to be harsher when I see the flags. Like a year ago I was trying to save little fishies that went into an overflow pond that had since dried up, and I was trying to scoop them up and throw them back in the main pond while then-bf watched, I asked my bf for help and he was just like "nah". Like who wouldn't help? What kind of person wouldn't help dying fishies!?

And I was in the situation where we saw someone struggling with something heavy and I suggested he offer to help and he's like "nah" despite being able to handle it fine while I would've struggled, leading to me asking if they wanted help and we both struggled while he just sat there.

Also when I requested something of him he wasn't comfortable with, he'd assure that he prioritises himself first. Which…isn't a wrong thing to do, but I personally felt like it went to extremes. Like if it MILDLY inconvenienced his wants that would always come over something I felt really strongly about. It messed with me, honestly. To say "hey this is really important to me" and he'd say "well I want to do it so sorry to hurt you but I will".

And yet, he'd go out of his way in general to do super nice things for me. He was a model boyfriend until it was a bit difficult for him. And I just had a hard time because 95% he'd be fantastic, he'd go an hour out of his way to surprise me with some niche item I'd had my eye on, make elaborate breakfasts, it's hard to summarize. Then the 5% he was a completely self serving ass if things were difficult in a way he didn't like making me question opening up about things i'm uncomfortable with or demanding anything, or if it inconvenienced him while not benefiting him (like helping strangers).

In the end I can't even tell if he was a bad boyfriend. I picture being heavily pregnant and asking him to cancel plans for him to say "uhhh well I want to go, so no". And I mean, I guess being selfish when the going gets though is worse than being a little selfish when it doesn't matter, you know? I guess I'll be single for a while as I figure my feelings out about it. This vent was cathartic tho.

No. 591103

A little while ago I had a massive crush on a girl who was suspected gay. She was a friend of a friend, waist length hair and so FIT. She had a slim, long body and was so playful, positive and energetic. She tried hard to get to know me but I was so nervous around her that I was more uncharismatic than I naturally am. I tried to actually make small talk on fb (which I have never done) after meeting but she ghosted me after 1 reply. I get it though. I could hear myself talking and I was so dull I just wanted to stop mid sentence. I exuded negativity, lazyness and probably made other people uncomfortable just due to my level of discomfort. The conversation would always quickly peter out with her, but when she listened in to me being my more natural self talking with my friend she was smiling and laughing, like I'm sure I could've bonded with her.

It just pisses me off that I actively work against myself the more attractive they are. Like I'm already depressed and anxious, why make it worse when I'm around attractive people, and alleviated when around uglies? Not that uglies are bad, I'm ugly. But I've been thinking about that woman for years now, she's my ideal type, and maybe if I played my cards right she'd be smacking MY ass and groping ME today with serious intention instead of """playfully""" doing it to our mutual friend.

No. 591114

I'm 25 and while I know it's still young, I feel like I'm getting old. On the inside, though, I still feel like a little 19-year-old confused teenager who doesn't know what to do with herself. I'm afraid I'm wasting my life by being socially awkward and bad at being independent.

No. 591115

Nobody said you can't Vent, you're just a retard that's it. Retards are allowed to vent.

No. 591116

That really does sounds depressing. I hope you will manage to grow. It's best to start before its way too late. Even tiny steps are steps to progress.

No. 591117

Wasted three days on a mistake in math because I thought half of 36 was 20. Three fucking days of barely getting sleep because it should have been an easier answer to come by. I am retarded. Been awake since 4am. Half of 36 is not 20. I wish I could pay a team to drive to my house and deliver a beating.

No. 591118

Sounds like he would dip if life stopped being normal/good. Like, would he even visit you at the hospital if you ended up there and it was an hour drive away?

No. 591120

That's quite a dramatic assumtion.

No. 591122

Damn anon, are you me? I've had the exact same thoughts, including feeling like I'm 19 even though I'm 26. I just feel so lost in life and feel like I'm wasting my life away and it makes me so depressed and scared. I want to be independent ad well. I wish I had an answer for you but I don't know what to do myself. I hope we are able to achieve independence and feel confidence in ourselves soon.

No. 591135

Was running to catch my train and got stuck on a single file escalator. Yelled out “EXCUSE ME” to the fat fuck in front of my before pushing my way through and he cursed and because I pushed his arm and made his coffee splatter. Fuck you dude, I said excuse me. Clean your nasty ears. Now my skirt stinks of coffee.

No. 591145

Coming from a country that has loosened up their COVID limitations long time ago, I can't see how traveling abroad would be more dangerous for anyone than going to do grocery shopping or riding a public transport. Bit annoying to see some people so extremely riled up about the concept.

No. 591154

It's kind of soothing to realize that I'm not the only mid-20s woman who has no idea who she is or what's going on. I feel like this whole site is proof that most people in their 20s and 30s are never really full functioning adults after all.

No. 591156

Same anon. I kind of understand not flying abroad, but I've read different arguments about that. Apparently some planes do have good filter systems and as long as everyone wears a mask and is spaced out it can't be much worse than going to the grocery store. The virus is already everywhere anyway so I'm cynical at this point.

No. 591157

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I want a best friend so badly. I don't even want a group of friends, just one person who really gets me and likes me as much as I like them. Any "best friend" I've had in my life always had someone more important to them than me. And I just want someone to do silly things with, like go get fast food at night and blast trashy music and play video games together and get drunk and just have a good time with each other. Fuck this is really pathetic and juvenile and lame but I just want a best girl friend so badly. I feel like my standards for friends are way too high and I'll never meet anybody because I'm too much of a weird autist with dumb interests that nobody in real life would share. Kinda wish I could dox myself to see if there's any chance of a farmer living in my area because this place is the only place I've ever felt there are actually other women like me.

No. 591159

Aw anon you'll find your main bitch and it'll be so special when you do!!

No. 591160

I've been eating like such an asshole lately and I'm going to try and reset by fasting today and then eating healthy the rest of this week. Wish me luck pls!

Also going on a THC break and taking some much needed time for myself because I've been smoking daily and spent way too much time with people lately. Self care actually DOES involve a bath, face mask, and selfish me time, who knew.

No. 591161

Same anon. Sometimes I think I've just being silly by wanting something that exists only in films and books, but then a friend or coworker will tell me about their best friend and I know that it's real and I don't have it.
I've had really close friendships like that before but they always either move away or they only want to hang out as a couple once they get a boyfriend.

No. 591162

My Mother passed away and I am Angry at the way some of the " end of life" team treated her. I am angry at covid, when she was lucid none of us were able to even visit her. We visited her once to say goodbye, but she did not pass, so she was discharged. I try not to think about it, and I avoid googling things and certain topics. we don't even have a death cert yet nor is she in a funeral home for days she has been in a cold storage fridge they set up for the extra deaths they were expecting. she is being buried in a different country to complicate matters. I am on Xans and benzos and my doc prescribed short term sleeping tabs and benzos. the benzos i am on know i bought. I am also poor asf and due to start a job in otober at this rate i will probably develop a benzo addition or thaw out and be to heart broken. my mum was so special to me, my dad has passed. my partner has long gone and I can't imagine ever dating again I just have no interest. I have so much stuff i need to do, but the only thing i can manage is lolcow and youtube. i cant even follow a law and order SVu episode and i have a crush Barba, it seems like rocking back and forth and taking benzos is the only thing that can keep me sane.

No. 591164

at least give your country anon cuz fuck I want this too

No. 591165

I feel bad about myself. Like extremely ugly and boring. I feel like a loser but then I think about women like nicki Minaj. She has such a wide access to different men and shes rich but she still ended up married to someone broke, not that good looking and an ex rapist. So, maybe it isnt 100% my fault that I've never been treated good by a guy maybe there just arent that many decent guys to begin with.

No. 591166

Same, girl. I know that friendships like this exist. I have a best friend but she lives in another country. I wish I could find a friendship like this where I live. And I agree with being tempted to dox myself, there's many farmers who seem to be the type of girls I could be very good friends with.

No. 591169

Thank you, I really hope I will!

Totally agree with you. Sometimes I wonder if my expectations have just been ruined by corny teen movies but I know that there are actual friendships like this in real life. Feels bad.

…east coast USA

That sucks, sorry anon. My only two friends are both out of state 90% of the time for school, so I never get to see them. And when they live somewhere else they have their own lives in that place with their own local group of friends so it never quite feels the same, sigh.

No. 591170

File: 1595857265347.gif (953.39 KB, 245x140, ActiveIlliterateBoa-small.gif)

I'm 25 and I don't have my driver's license yet. I've never even tried. I've had some driving practise (with friends and family) and I'm not so scared of the driving itself, I'm just so socially anxious and can't handle criticism (I start crying easily), especially from men. I don't feel comfortable with the thought of being inside a car alone with a strange man who is giving me shit. Unfortunately, there are no female instructors where I live.

I'm about to sign up for the first aid class you have to take in my country before registering for driving classes. I'd appreciate any encouragement.

Any other man-hating and socially anxious anons who have managed to get their driver's license?

No. 591171

Sorry for your mom, these things are always so difficult and now you're dealing with it on extra hard level. I know it seems impossible now and you have to deal with the daily stuff on top of with the difficult funeral and funeral related things, but it will get better. Some day this shit will get easier.

No. 591172

Never share anything negative about yourself with men you've known less then 3 months. Yeah they might be sharing their deep personal problems with you but it's ok for them to do it, do not take that as a sign that it's ok for you to share your issues. When a woman does it shes just labeled as crazy.

No. 591173

Hmm, not sure where you live, but in the US, I was able to have my parents instruct me. If you're able, could you have your mom or an aunt, sister, or other trusted female presence in your life drive around with and teach you, or does it have to be a legitimate instructor? Good luck anon!

No. 591176

You need to get a fucking grip. You should not be an adult who still has this pathetic fear of men. Grow up.

No. 591177

Nta but where I live they insist that you need something like 10 or 15 lessons given by a professional before you can apply for the test, sucks when you consider how much 15 professional lessons cost.

No. 591178

I used to live in a Scandinavian country, where you can take a 3 hour seminar and drive anywhere with a parent or someone else who's had their license for more than 5 or 10 years (I don't remember). Unfortunately, this isn't possible where I live now. We only have a few "practise lots" where you're allowed to drive with a more experienced driver. Unfortunately, my mother refuses to do it, which is understandable because she probably hasn't driven a car in years. I'm likely gonna try it with my boyfriend but he has a short temper.

No. 591179

Don't worry, men and women make the same mistakes while learning to drive, instructors have seen it all, they'll not judge you based on your gender at all. Hope you manage to find someone that will go the extra mile to make the atmosphere light and friendly - if theres a way to read some reviews before choosing your driving school / instructor, choose based on them!

No. 591183

I’m with you on this.
You need to see a therapist, take some meds, log off the internet and stop expecting the world to coddle you.
Moo to you.

No. 591184

File: 1595858144899.png (73.42 KB, 300x168, 05F39F2E-9C27-44D1-82FF-1753A4…)

Im freaking out because my art is shit and i feel like i stagnated on growth, im 21 and when i compare myself with other artists on the same age range I want to die, my art doesn’t fucking hold up, and this was literally my career plan, im going to college for illustration work.

Sometimes I feel tempted to trace or do other scummy shit because it has been my dream to work with art and i realized too late im talentless and seem to not be able to get better at drawing past a certain point.

I don’t have money to switch to a degree in another area and I feel like I haven’t improved in almost two years.

No. 591185

Same. For me finances play a big part in not having a driver's license yet, since in my country getting your license is really fucking expensive.
Other than that it's the social anxiety, fear of failure, and finally fear of getting myself killed by being a retard on the road. Then again, I'm sick of having to use public transport for everything, especially during the pandemic I feel nervous sitting in a crowded train.

No. 591187

File: 1595858371198.gif (2.98 MB, 540x329, tumblr_p0dor2ChPR1uls29go2_540…)

Wtf, calm down, this is the vent thread after all. I'm obviously going to do it anyway, as I said in my original post, if you bothered to read it. At least I'm not mid-20s or however old you are and just now realizing that mental illness exists.

No. 591189

Yeah, me too, I couldn't afford the driver's license when I was 18 and shit just went downhill from there, which is why I have to do it now. I guess we'll both just have to take the plunge and do it (when we have the money, but luckily you usually don't have to pay it all at once).

No. 591191

I’m taking drivers ed right now and it’s pretty ok. I still want to cry every time I get criticism, but my instructor is pretty nice for a man. I mostly just focus on the controls and how to drive and don’t get as much anxiety as I expected.

No. 591192

I feel like people here are so quick to be catty for literally no reason in the non-drama threads lately. It's really fucking annoying because it's in Vent and Dumbass Shit or whatever, and it either leads to infighting or it's just a a few anons that are like…notably mean to people that are getting shit off their chest. "tHe WoRlD isn't gOnNa CoDdLe YoU nEeT" okay boomer we get it ur better than some people on an anonymous imageboard kek

>inb4 something about being butthurt

Just venting in the vent thread, lads !

No. 591193

Come to the Netherlands. You’ll pay anywhere from €1000 to €2500 for your license. In my city, 35 lessons are the norm.

No. 591196

I agree! fair enough if you want to fling shit in other threads but fuck sake, vent thread will contain venting, often about dumb and meaningless shit because where else would we vent it?

No. 591197

Nayrt but are you trying to say 1000-2500 euros is a lot or a little compared to other countries? I'm from the Netherlands too and I think it's ridiculously high but I'm honestly not sure how prices are elsewhere.

No. 591201

i’m pms’ing really bad and i just want my period to come already so i can get it over with. i’m anemic and super sensitive to prostaglandins, so the days leading up to my period (and the first few days of it) are always the worst. the cramps are terrible but manageable with painkillers and typical remedies - it’s the dizziness and fatigue that are driving me insane. normally i just deal with it for the few days it lasts every month because i’m used to it, but with everything happening in the world, i can’t handle this shit right now. i’ve been practically bedridden for almost two days because i’m so fucking tired and lightheaded, and all i’ve done is scroll through my phone reading all the terrible news and it just makes everything feel 100x worse.

BC isn’t even an option, which sucks. i don’t want to try hormonal BC because of all the negative side effects, but i wanted to try the copper iud. my gyno advised against it though because it might make my symptoms worse, and it’s just incredibly frustrating. i feel like i’m cursed.

i’m otherwise healthy and i don’t have pcos or anything to explain it all, just shit genetics i guess. both my mother and grandmother had the same issues as me when they were younger, down to the pms dizziness and everything. their remedy? having a baby. literally both of them said their periods stabilized after they had their first baby. i don’t want a kid right now, maybe not ever, so if that’s the only cure, i guess i’m fucked forever lmao. i probably sound like a whiny bitch, but i’m just so exhausted and anxious for my period to come.

No. 591202

I’ve noticed this too! I can’t figure out if people are getting meaner or if it’s just one anon cause the typing style/vocab seems similar. I’ve been getting almost immediate salty responses on stupid shit because of this weird policing in the dumbass shit threads. Only thing I can think of is the influx of pull users?

No. 591206

File: 1595860742780.jpg (74.51 KB, 960x945, 89258430_636912330444087_54831…)

my exact thoughts man. just because the snow and cow threads are absolute shitshows doesn't mean you have to bring that energy everywhere you go. i get this board can be edgy for edgy sake but i can't be bothered to insult or fuck with people on here, i get enough of that shit on male dominated boards. when i get overtly catty responses i just don't engage, they are probably under 18s anyways

No. 591207

Yeah the confession thread is bad at times too because obviously people are admitting to doing bad shit.. then moralfags tell them off and like? Depending on the thread title you sometimes ought to just let certain things go. Same with this thread.

No. 591215

It honestly feels like it's only one person waiting all day for the opportunity to be mean.

No. 591217

> typing style/vocab seems similar. I’ve been getting almost immediate salty responses on stupid shit because of this weird policing in the dumbass shit threads
Noticed too, might be a different anon that I'm seeing but I feel like there's one where I know their usual responses.

They reply so fucking quick, include a laughing reaction image and a big KEK!! Then they make out like they're laughing their ass off because they're responding to the most retarded thing to ever be said!! But they're usually responding to normal shit where it's just a matter of opinion and nothing clear cut?

No. 591218

My tinfoil is that some of these needlessly mean anons are pullfags who are just now POURING all that agression out, they should settle down in a while. I've seen some certain writing style anon being very harsh in vent threads, I have no idea what they get out of it.

No. 591221

agreed like definitely there are some ppl like this lol its happened to me a few times already where ppl have given me lots of attitude for no reason at all its just annoying bc most ppl are here to have a good time and not to fight with anons

No. 591223

Tbh I don't think it's even PULL users. Farmers have been bitches for no reason for years. I remember some anon posting about how they think pineapples are cute and loves buying items with pineapples on them, and another anon replying just to call them dumb and childish. Anons being mean isn't anything new.

No. 591225

OP anon, surprised so many people agree honestly! I know that farmers can be bitchy for no reason here and there, but it just seems so frequent lately that it's hard to ignore which is what I normally choose to do. It disrupts the flow of the board, which maybe bringing it up in the first place does as well, but tbh I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who's noticed.

Whether the influx is from PULL or summer/newfags trying to be edgy just because imageboard, like. Tone it down a bit, will ya?

No. 591228

met a cute kinda butch girl a while ago and we really clicked. lockdown happened, we didn't see each other again (she's a friend of a friend and we only hung out in a group for like 4 hours) for like two months. saw her again a few days ago because i met with my friend and we ran into her. of course she's a trans boy now. fml.

No. 591229

bang the troon out of her anon

No. 591242

condolences gal. i was good friends once with a fun, sweet butch, then we drifted apart. when i found her again a few months later, not only had she trooned out, she apparently realized she was a "gay man" and was into men now. fucking RIP. did the same happen with yours or is she "straight" at least? kek

No. 591255

I sometimes have minor muscle twitches in my feet or some other place and being the hypochondriac jackass that I am, I always immediately think that it is multiple sclerosis or some other deadly stuff. I 've lost sleep over thinking about what diseases I might have

No. 591256

> At least I'm not mid-20s or however old you are and just now realizing that mental illness exists.
Sad to see someone my age be this fragile. I highly doubt it's mental illness that's your problem. It's the fact that you have likely been emotionally coddled your whole life and actually been permitted to become this way.

>can't handle criticism (I start crying easily)

Enough said. Again: grow up.

No. 591259

I feel this, anon. Two of my former butch crushes trooned out as well. Rip butch lesbians and tomboys.

No. 591271

Makes me kinda sad because I can't find any other tomboy friends, even. They're always all NB/trans.

No. 591306

This might be a long shot. but have you tried posting in the friend finder thread? You never know, there might be some other lonely farmers in your area looking for friends

No. 591317

My sister is so ill today, she can't keep anything down. Vomited 12 times today. Last time she properly ate was 24 hours ago and she puked it out and diarrhea-ed it out. Doc said it's probably food poisoning and plugged her on 3 drips. She looks so weak. She puked some bread I gave her. I feel like crying. I just wiped clean on of her puke from the floor and I just want my girl getting better

No. 591326

Same. I've always been a tomboy and I hate how everyone around me has trooned out and are somehow offended that I haven't and am comfortable being a masculine woman. It's like unless you're at least a genderspecial nonbinary you have no place being a gender-nonconforming woman, regressive cunts even go so far as to try and trans every known tomboy/butch character there is.

No. 591334

No problem, at least I‘m working on my issues and am not an insufferable person who is mean to others in a thread that‘s meant for venting, unlike you.

No. 591337

I've noticed this as well. I knew some trans people online and youtubers who I can tell have extra anger when they talk about men who are like Jeffree/James but don't put a fancy title on it. They are men who can look very feminine and act very feminine but they aren't NB/trans (at least not yet), I do think it bothers trans people when men/women who are GNC don't trans out.

No. 591342

They might troon out and come back to their senses eventually, but I feel like too many stay stuck in those genderspecial circles because they're too proud to admit their mistake. Or they're already too far down the rabbit hole.

I'm not super girly, always found certain expectations that people have of women to be bs. I like short hair, comfortable clothes and I don't want to shave my whole body bald. I got therapy for the first time at 21, my mom had just passed away and my first break up closely followed. Despite those being my reasons for visiting we got talking about fucking gender expression?? Being in a vulnerable place I got sucked into her suggestions for the next 12 weekly sessions. After discussing gender to death I quit therapy and secretly experimented with black market hormones for a few months before snapping out of it.

So yeah the therapist that I visited about some very raw grief had ignored that to talk about gender and how that might be 'the cause of my unhappiness' I wasted a year of my life and nearly lost the relationship with my one living parent when he heard my voice change and asked what was going on.

No. 591350

Shitty therapist talk reminded me of how I went to my school therapist on the verge of burnout, being very clear about what I was experiencing and this dude keeps asking if I had lost someone close to me. Said that yea years and years ago but it has absolutely nothing to do with this yet he only talked about my dead grandpa for like an hour as I sat there crying from exhaustion. Later on found out he was doing some fucking research paper or some shit on grieving, the next school therapist seemingly hated his guts too. He was also deaf which just made everything so frustrating.

No. 591372

When my mom died it was just before a religious holiday so I remember they kept her body in storage for over a week before anything could happen, worst week of my life. Something about that added element of 'being stored' fucks you up.

It'll be a pretty gradual thing but remember you won't be in this intense pain forever anon. You're dealing with the worst part right now.

No. 591373

I hate the terror I experience when I go to work and my old coworker is wearing her mask with her nose sticking out. She has asthma and she's old, but if that's true, just don't show up to work then. Figure it out. It defeats the whole purpose and of course I can't say anything so I just think about the danger while being forced to be near her.

No. 591379

Did you get your heart broken by someone without a driver’s license or something? This is starting to get weird.

No. 591383

Jesus fucking christ I'm convinced therapist are being handed money under the table by big pharma to convince their patients to transition and get on hormones. Fucking sick.

No. 591395

you sound emotionally constipated
it's okay to cry
>therapist are being handed money under the table by big pharma
could've stopped there

No. 591397

Dude, therapists like this are the absolute fucking worst. The ones who decide that there is only one reason why you feel any type of way, especially if they're big time Freud/Jung stans and all of their insights are mostly psychoanalytic and esoteric in nature.

I had one therapist a few years ago who was trying to convince me that a severe dissociative episode and subsequent fear of death that arose as a result wasn't actually a fear of death, that it was "purely metaphorical" because I was "starting a new chapter in my life." Bitch, I'm in survival mode and I'm afraid of dying because my nervous system is so out of whack that it literally thinks I'm dying. Like how the fuck is that helpful shit

No. 591399

me too. I hope you don't feel so sad knowing there are other lonely people like you.

No. 591410

Had a dream I went to a cabin in the woods with a bunch of friends and we just had blast the whole time. Cooking food, taking pictures, watching movies. Woke up and realized I have no friends and that the only time I’ve ever done this was with my senior class for a field trip . I’ve never and will never experience this organically. Idk why I went from being so extremely antisocial my whole life to now desperately wanting companionship.

No. 591419

I messed up cutting my bangs, I look like blixa bargeld and not the hot young version, but the old version. Yesterday I felt good about it because I was wearing a sporty outfit and feeling good so short bangs kinda looked sporty but today I put on glasses and feel like shit about it can it please just grow already.
Every time I cut my bangs I either cut them too little so I have to do it again in a week or I cut too much. Never doing that again. Also it sucks that something so unimportant as bangs being a centimeter shorter can ruin my mood like this. What the hell

No. 591427

That shit is the worst, especially after gathering enough courage and energy to even contact them and they pull this shit on you! The one I had after his deaf ass was so nice and I felt like I did learn coping skills and was listened to at least. Hope you get help too anon!

No. 591431

How the fuck am I still infatuated with this one night stand I had in October… I don't even know him, he ghosted me when I tried to see him again, I should just forget him, but somehow I'm always meeting people that know him…

No. 591452

My sister had a seizure last month and now every time I here the tiniest noise from her room and she doesn't answer when I shout I rush in just in case. She's getting really irked with me but I'm just worried & paranoid one day I'll walk in and she'll be dead.

No. 591466

You're a great sister, I wish I could have someone like you when my epilepsy was at it's worst.

No. 591468

I'm so jealous of people who laugh easily. I wisshhhhh things made me laugh. I could be in a room full of people laughing at something and I'll literally fake laugh and then feel suicidal for not actually being amused at what seems to be hilarious to everyone else.

No. 591470

They may have damaged their bodies, if they stay too long. The fact of the matter is that nothing regarding the troon community is healthy. It requires ingesting tons of drugs in order to maintain.
If they get to the point where they can't ever go back to being 'normal', they may rationalize that they've changed and there is no going back.

No. 591475

I am so sorry to hear you were mistreated like that by that therapist especially after the difficult times you were already experiencing. I hope you are doing better these days.

No. 591491

order UberBeats

No. 591500

Guys.. my 12 year old male cousin slapped me in the fucking face today. I'm visiting from America and I don't even remember what I said to him that pissed him off but he thought he could slap me in the face in return. I havent' seen this kid for 7 years or any of the rest of my family so I thought it wasn't the best idea to beat his ass or tell his dad who would most likely murder him, so I had to resort to telling my aunt who is also visiting from America with me who eventually chewed him out. I literally can't believe the way women are treated here that a little boy thinks he could slap a grown woman. I know for a fact his dad beats his mom's ass. This kid also terrorizes local cats. I know I shouldn't take it personally based on that but I'm literally so angry.

No. 591522

Shit in his pillowcase.

No. 591525

If that had happened to me, I don't think I would've been able to stop myself from at least lightly slapping him back, especially if he's big for his age.
It's good that you didn't, in the end, though. Teaching him more violence would be counterproductive. His home life is already dysfunctional, and the cat thing is disturbing. It's probably best to stay away from him unless you catch him hurting animals or something, frustrating as it is.

No. 591529

File: 1595901156014.jpeg (480.5 KB, 2048x1530, EUyY3CmU8AE9bBn.jpeg)

fuck paypal and their retarded 21 day hold. i have 100$ waiting on me and i need it so bad. my fuckin bank account has .27 cents and im out of food and almost the will to fucking live.

No. 591550

i still get mad when i remember that there was some girl with literal fucking stage four cancer that farmers were dragging in an instagram thread on /snow/ a few years ago. i don't remember her name but it was really disgusting and the drama they were bringing up was so stupid and petty. like, i don't really keep up on amberlynn much but there's no way i could get into her drama now knowing that she has cancer too. that's my limit i guess.

No. 591580

I have been missing my grandma lately. I miss her intelligence and worldliness. She was really ahead of her time. She traveled the world, loved art house cinema, and was really open minded with people. I mean fuck she used to watch anime sometimes on the TV even if it was a shitty English dub. We used to talk about deep shit all the time and I miss having that kind of deep connection with someone. I haven’t met anyone like her again.

No. 591587

could it have been a girl named emma? I say her because I remember nika and/or jaelle(?) openly made fun of her cancer in their fledgling spam days

No. 591594

File: 1595908917053.jpg (102.27 KB, 736x736, 819e2baf7fb8b9dccd40beade4e1a0…)

My parents have been fighting for an hour now. It's 1AM. Feels bad, man

No. 591602


21 days?? That's insane. No shame going to a food pantry, anon. Hope it goes well for you.

I'd yell that you have have school/work tomorrow and you don't need their nonsense at 1am in the morning, jesus christ

No. 591603

Ugh, i'm sorry anon. Put on some headphones and try to blast your favorite songs to yourself and hang in there. I had to move out at 18 or else i couldnt take that shit either. Parents can be really insensitive to the people around them.

No. 591604

File: 1595910206797.gif (616.07 KB, 500x336, eyerollgif.gif)

My coworker at a temp job I'm at literally pulled the whole 'You keep calling people Sir and ma'm. I want to do that too but i dont want to assume people's genders." And I thought she was joking, but she wasn't. She's 10 years younger than me, but holyshit– at 18 she's really deep into the whole pro-tranny/gender pronouns bullshit. Poor girl. Hope she doesnt tr00n out in the future or date a tranny for the woke points.

No. 591635

Why is it always men who cape for trannies the most? Not all men are TRAs but I swear people try to make it look like it's the evil feminist women pushing the trans ideology but every time I see someone really trying to cram troondick down your throat it's men, no exceptions. It makes me paranoid that they're chasers or undercover eggs looking to cover their asses when they decide to come out.(asherahsgarden.net)

No. 591637

no, it was coco-something. she was dating some rapper who had sexual assault allegations against him i think?

No. 591657

My workplace forced me to stop using gendered names. I have no idea what to say now and I feel like my greetings/sentences are cut uncomfortably short. Fuck real-estate in Australia.

No. 591669

Ntayrt, but baby coco? They talk about her in the soundclout thread. I feel bad for her too. anons were dragging her for being with a rapist, which I get but she must not be in a good place mentally.
She has a terminal (?) illness and it might just be comforting for her to have someone, even if he's trash.

No. 591741

I am so mad at my dad and his growing covid conspiracy bullshit. I was planning to visit him and my grandparents after month and he wants to go to this shitty anti covid protest instead. I really don't care if he catched covid anymore.

No. 591792

File: 1595945766524.jpg (12.84 KB, 190x266, it me.jpg)

I feel so stupid, anons. I took my boyfriend back after he broke up with me once, and things have been going really well. Yesterday, I called him out after he pulled some #notallmen shit and he hasn't spoken to me at all since which is extremely abnormal behavior. He was even talking to me after he dumped me. What the fuck. I'm so annoyed, both with him and myself. Slap some sense into me, ladies, I feel like a fool. I've said, "girl, dump him," to strangers for much less.

No. 591794

You know what to do anon. He dumped you, you took him back, now he knows he can do anything to you and you'll forgive.

No. 591795

File: 1595945947338.png (209.42 KB, 590x489, 653287A2-8985-4B2E-8EC1-30C39B…)

damn man got so much clown makeup on you probably ate a little. no worries, just time to banish him

No. 591796

So i finished up my Genetics degree and by mistake I got into a Molecular Biology masters degree (its really hard to get in, I never thought I would, I just tried because I thought "why the hell not, I probably wont get in, but it is fun to see"). AND well well well it seems like its going to be hard as fuck - and I did good in Genetics. Well I guess it being hard is not the thing that worries me most - its the fact tha t I still want to hold a part-time job (doing it for full time in the summes) since I am 23 and I do not want to ask my parents for money anymore. I have no fucking clue if I will be able to do it and it sucks big time. Also, the job that I have lowkey sucks, they raised my salary but my co-workers are so shit at the system that I have to constantly fix their mistakes. Went into full retard mode yesterday and fucking bawled my eyes out. I am thinking of taking the year off the studies because im just suicidal but I am afraid of being judged (my mom is really pressuring me into doing the masters, but I am not fucking sure if I even really want to do it) I am tired

No. 591797

what?? like instead of his/she, you have to say they? how does it cut your sentences short?

No. 591799

I was obsessed with this video when i was 14 but i can't watch it anymore without thinking about furries. fuck y'all

No. 591806

I'm getting tested for HIV today after some bad decisions ice made the past 3 months. wish me luck.

No. 591807

Good luck! I'd hug you but I don't want to get aids

No. 591808

I feel like that's the case for so many anons here. They're quick to say 'dump him' but can't take care of their own shitty relationships

No. 591810

Nayrt but I think they mean you can't say "thank you for stopping by Sir/Ma'am". It feels informal and unfamiliar to just end these sentences without addressing the person in them, it's as if you're not even directing them at any particular person.

It's also a problem when you go up to a group at a table and you can't say "what can I get for you today ladies/guys". I used to just use guys for everyone but that's not allowed anymore, and saying "you all /everybody" doesn't always work if you're just trying to refer to a specific group. I'm ready to use gender neutral language when it exists but nobody can agree on what that actually should be.

No. 591812

Good luck. Hope you didn't catch it and learned your lesson

No. 591816

White collar people are all sick. They’re selfish and gluttonous and malicious. If I am ever at their mercy they take their chance to leverage power to fuck me over. Whether it’s misleading me in a phone call and refusing to answer questions clarifying whether I will be receiving the outcome I’m working for or using loopholes to manipulate my money into their possession, it’s ruthless. Every manager I’ve had makes sure to exploit my work and add to my duties all while never offering promotion or fair pay, let alone a raise higher than 15 cents. One actively sabotaged me because she was a petty worn out bimbo who knew she wasn’t shit. These people are either horribly inept or plain evil. Not once has one of these “Professionals” done something for me that has gone “above and beyond” in terms of service, courtesy, or human kindness, and that’s fucking pitiful since the bar is set so low to begin with. They don’t deserve their paychecks in the slightest.

No. 591824

My dad is old, retired and lives in the middle of nowhere by himself. My brother who works in a busy shopping centre and went on a foreign holiday lately visited my dad… And now my dad has 'flu' with terrible stomach symptoms, ffs

No. 591825

It can take up to six months to show up in tests so they'll probably recommend that you retest again in a few months, for total peace of mind

No. 591840

Don't hate the player, hate the game

No. 591856

Why are people who are ugly so insistent on making it EVERYONE ELSES problem. I’m so sick of hearing people talk about how ugly they are like what are you supposed to say? I know they want you to be like ‘no you’re not! You’re soooo pretty aha’ but why would that kind of compliment even do anything for you if you’re basically forcing the other person to say it because there’s literally nothing else they can say idk how that would genuinely help anyone’s confidence it just makes you so annoying and draining to be around

No. 591876

File: 1595954153330.jpeg (41.14 KB, 255x242, C8300BF0-F47D-48C1-B580-3560EE…)

One of my coworkers flirting tactics with me was talking about how ugly he was and pointing out minuscule flaws about his face, like one eye being higher than the other or his nose being crooked. There’s only so many times you can say “oh my god no you are completely normal looking!” (Cause he was???) before you want to tear your hair out. Why won’t anyone learn that confidence is fucking sexy and also you can always looksmaxx by doing simple shit like loosing weight and getting a better haircut or buying better fitting jeans. Same coworker is just a friend of mine now, he asked me one day if I didn’t take him up on his offer to go out because he’s so hideously ugly and I got to point blank tell him, no, it’s cause you always say stupid shit like that and it gets on my nerves!!
Pic related

No. 591882

I had an insufferable coworker who would take flaws of my own (bad skin and being a little heavy, both due to my thyroid problem but he didn't know that) and make it about him, how he had the same issues until he went vegan etc etc.
A. I'm a woman, and a different human being entirely so maybe my body works different?
B. I was mostly vegan at the time, only eating cheese occasionally at work because the only vegan option they sold was too grim for me.
This same guy also made comments about me having a mixed race boyfriend, saying 'i wouldn't expect that from you'. piece of trash.

No. 591886

Omg don’t even get me started on men who use it as a flirting tactic like ‘no one would ever want to be with someone like me…I’m so ugly, no girl would ever love me’ like trying to guilt trip you into pity dating them, obviously no one is going to find that kind of manipulative self pity attractive. Plus like you said you can improve your looks if you’re that bothered by it, I feel like for the vast vast majority of people everyone can be at least a six if they put some effort in.

No. 591893

i gained this habit tbh because my normie friends would always brag about getting hit on or approached by men. they'd say how they weren't taken seriously at work because of their appearance (like they were too pretty) and i'd be like…uh i haven't dealt with that..so i'm ugly? and i ended up spending a whole year thinking i was hideous because i didn't have those experiences. turns out my friends were just retarded so it's all good

No. 591917

That specific kind of person who when you’re in a public space with loads of available seating insists on sitting right fucking next to you even though the place is empty…literally what is wrong with them? Like in an empty cafe what would provoke someone to sit on the table right by you, or why would you willingly sit by a stranger on public transport if you didn’t have to?? Is it a subconscious thing they do? I just can not understand how there are so many people like that, they aren’t normal and they ruin the experience of being in public.

No. 591919

This really bugs me with parking lots. I purposely park far bc parking between two cars gives me anxiety (don't ask) and I always come out and find someone next to me. LEAVE ME ALONE

No. 591923

I could park in an empty parking lot and when I come out there will be a car right by mine even if literally every other space is empty like why it has to be some kind of mental illness

No. 591941

When people do this I move, I grab my jacket and my coffee and I make them watch me move lol, especially when it's men

No. 591942

I wish I didn’t make an instagram account so I could follow my favorite youtubers. I’m starting to become embarrassed of or annoyed by most of them.

No. 591944

Name them youtubers anon, I'm curious!!!

No. 591960

Just some ‘boring’ smaller craft and planning people

No. 591961

It's me. He finally responded and just doubled down/was a complete asshole and ended up making me cry at work lol. Goodbye to the trash, me and my best friend are getting pedicures tonight.

No. 591965

Yep that was her. Idk in general I think we need to live terminally ill people alone. They're suffering enough as it is.

No. 591979

I wish ig would let you lurk without that retarded banner popping up demanding you register an account. I need to find a ublock filter that gets rid of that. don't feel like making a burner just to lurk peoples shit.

No. 591981

Wishing you the prettiest nails, anon. Well done!

No. 591988

Never reply to him again. Not even to cuss him out. Don't give him the satisfaction of wasting your time again. Enjoy that pedicure!!

No. 592022

I am just feeling like shit right now. My boss basically accusing me of not being a good enough supervisor for a coworker because I got mad that they didn't tell me said coworker will be going through some medical separation. I've been trying to check in and talk to the guy but I get little to no response from him. (I'm military so I will try to simplify this for civilians to understand.) I have been having a depressive episode for weeks. I dropped out of two classes because I have just not been in the right head space to finish them. I'd rather be doing anything else. I don't even want to go through college to be honest. I don't want to supervise or be a leader I just want to work and help people. I don't want to go to seek treatment due to the fear that my higher ups are gonna drink their haterade and accuse me of trying to skip work. Military medical is fucking trash tier when it comes to patient care. I don't even want to be in the military anymore but I just do it for the paycheck. I just want to be a normal person again like I was before I joined the military. I am just tired of life. I want to just lay down in bed and just get cozy under the covers or have a beer. Like

No. 592029

Just wanted to say that I know more than one person in military medical, and both say it sucks absolute ass and that they've developed anxiety/depression as a result. The military in general is a pretty awful in environment from what I understand. How much longer do you have left with them?

No. 592032

File: 1595965136648.png (514.86 KB, 672x764, 5C1A9DF8-8E56-45BF-B076-8D4EC1…)

The air conditioner is broken on one side of the house and no one told me so I only found out an hour ago when I walked into my parent’s bedroom to use their shower.

They left their windows open, so it’s 90F in the room/hallway and when I put a container of ice in front of a fan I accidentally dumped it on the floor and all the ice melted

No. 592037

Even when walking, it's always men too. Doubt they even know they're doing it. The moid brain senses your chromosomes and drifts closer on autopilot. Once you notice it just gets more obvious

No. 592042


I got two years left on my contract and I'm planning on just fulfilling it. I don't care anymore, been in for 7 years. I have been treated like shit for being the fReE sPiRiT personality, sexually harassed with nobody calling out the perpetrator, been abused by someone I used to call my boyfriend,(got PTSD from said abuse.) had both the first sergeant and mental health provider making fun of my personal demons, get treated like a retard when I have ADHD, lost a chance to promote for seeking treatment, and I have spent my early 20s just trying to impress people who just don't care. I'm sick of it all.

The retirement benefits are not worth putting up with depression and anxiety with an indifferent organization.

No. 592054

I just want the money to direct my career (and life) as I want it to

No. 592056

I'm so sorry anon. The people I know in the military are men. They both tell me that sexual harassment is the norm, and that it just adds to the feelings of helplessness/hopelessness knowing there's nothing they can really do help the victims, since it's so deeply embedded into the culture that even the higher ups are doing it. Both these guys were already messed up from a shitty home life and it breaks my heart knowing that being in the military is just adding to the trauma. Thankfully, both their contacts end within a year.

I feel like the military is almost designed to prey on people who are already vulnerable like that, and being treated like shit is already normal for them. It's like an abusive relationship on a whole different level.

No. 592063


Thank you anon. :)

Yeah it really is like being in an abusive relationship sometimes. These people preach about how we should together like a family
This is not a family. This is bullshit. I've started having some anti-military thoughts overtime with how myself and women in general get treated.

The leaders chant about holding people accountable, reducing suicide, reporting sexual assaults, and addressing racism…okay cool. Do something about it and tell shitty people they're being shitty and humiliate them. Don't just put out surveys and facebook posts and expect results. Do something!

No. 592070

File: 1595968667251.jpg (1.38 MB, 800x946, eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUz…)

I don't know what to do with my life, i feel like it's already ruined by being born in such an awful country. I have the opportunity to get the Italian citizenship thanks to my grandmother, but i feel like nothing will change even if i move. I am scared of doing all the paper work, research, learning the language and then realizing that i just don't like to live anyway. I will never fit in, i will never have friends, a boyfriend or the desire to live. The only thing i genuinely enjoy is art, but i don't think the love is strong enough to keep me living for another 70 years, i already find it hard enough to just sit and draw because of how anxious my environment makes me.

No. 592076

Wow anon are you me? Idk what country you’re from but i’m an amerifat and am trying to get my spanish citizenship through my grandfather. I also only really like art. All i can say is you’re not alone I feel the same exact way and want to get out of this country and do what I like but it seems impossible. Just keep your head up and I wish you the best luck anon

No. 592082

Why do I feel you're argentinian … the 80% of the population here wants to get their italian citizenship and fly away

No. 592083

Been living in a house i inherited this year and I feel so much healthier in every way but I feel so sad and conflicted about letting go of my apartment in the city. I wouldn't be able to go back to school this semester as it is so there's nothing for me there. I guess this was some sort of a miracle timing but so bittersweet, I almost want to say I feel like a failure but then again…maybe I'll get a car here, look up some online schooling thing, a therapist and just focus on getting better.

No. 592084

I was born in a shitty country too, and it's getting shittier by the day. While I'm technically lucky enough to have a second citizenship, the thought of uprooting my life and moving halfway across the world with barely any money and no connections is enough to make me almost reconsider

No. 592089

>inheriting a whole ass house
that's pretty lucky anon. hope things work out for you. it sounds like you have a good set of plans for yourself moving forward

No. 592092

It does sound pretty…much? But there's tens of thousands of taxes I need to pay and so on but yeah, maybe I can just give into the flow for a bit, thanks.

No. 592096

i s2g my anxiety actually gets worse when good things happen to me. it's like i'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop. ptsd sucks ass

No. 592126

>go to the beach
>put sunscreen everywhere except one specific part of the arms apparently
>now banished to itch town
Ouch ouchie

No. 592143

Why did kiiara have to get ruined? I noticed Messy was a bit different, but still sounded like her. I liked Gloe too, but I knew it was a bad sign. Now all her music sounds like shitty mainstream pop

No. 592156

File: 1595977676864.jpg (20.23 KB, 320x339, im_fine.JPG)

I get bored of all my relationships after a year and a half. I swear to God, it's so annoying when I reach that point. I can't even talk to them properly. Dunno what happens but I just get tired of it. Why?

No. 592203

Almost a year ago I was followed by a guy in a car while I was walking home from college and I still feel like such a dumb bitch about the whole situation.
I grew up in a safe suburb with a large population. I’ve always been basically invisible, and I believed that I must just be ugly (also because my family told me I was). The only male attention I ever received in middle/high school was from harmless awkward guys who wanted to be friends for class help.
When I went away for college a few guys tried to get with me but I never picked up on their cues because I never learned how to. I dunno if i got better looking, or the standards are way lower here, or it’s a college town so all the deprived weirdos who don’t have to be watched by their moms anymore have finally come out of their bedrooms.
Almost the whole time I was being followed home by the guy in his car I was thinking “He probably just thinks I parked on this street so he wants to steal my spot“. It’s a busy street so it made logical sense, because it’d be super illogical for a guy to genuinely want something from my body/appearance. Not even to rape and murder me! I’m ugly!
I finally started to really freak out when I got to the end of 3 whole blocks to where I had to turn into my neighborhood. Decided, fuck it it’s a hot day I’m just gonna go inside my house and hope he leaves.
Dumb bitch me didn’t call the cops or report him to campus security, because dumb bitch me didn’t even think he was a threat for almost the whole time because I’m just ugly. I also don’t know shit about car models and I didn’t even think to get his license plate. Really wish I did something because I don’t want this guy to ever even mildly annoy another girl.
I’m just so lucky that nothing terribly harmful has ever happened to me and that I haven’t met many dangerous people because holy shit I am such an easy target. I lose literally all of my brain cells whenever I’m in any serious situation. At least I’ve learned to be more careful.

No. 592224

How do you know he was following you and not just coincidentally driving to your street

No. 592227

Every hairdresser is terrible it’s impossible to find one that’s competent. I just wish they would be honest if they feel like they can’t do something so you don’t waste your time and money.

No. 592243

I want to leave my relationship but I have so much invested. I'm sure I'll end up in my parent's basement because I've never lived alone and I'd be too cheap to get an apartment in the city. And who knows if I'd ever meet someone again who I feel strongly for. I'm such a weirdo I'd likely never find someone else who accepts me, my interests and whatever mental shit I have going on. I know I don't need anyone. I know I enjoy being alone but I still want someone to love me. I don't want to be that girl who stays in the relationship because it's been x number of years but my whole adult life happened with him. Changing your whole life is frightening.

No. 592251

I just want to die. I'm too worthless and depressed.

No. 592255

Shit fam, I feel you so strongly. Hang in there.

No. 592267

File: 1595990278879.gif (878.58 KB, 300x167, 1391643937039.gif)

Everybody's worthless, we're just making the best of it.

No. 592270

fuck I know, I feel like i'd be better off at great clips or something rather than the overpriced ones i've gone to. the last time I got my hair cut I asked for very subtle face framing layers and walked out with thick curtain bangs.

No. 592271

File: 1595990879825.jpg (454.27 KB, 2448x3264, 64318674684874.jpg)

pining is the dumbest shit on the planet. i just want to hold this dudes stupid big hands and kiss him between his stupid perfect eyebrows. lay his head in my lap. why can't i just be content with loneliness???? I have my cat and my video games why can't that be enough!!

No. 592277

Maan that reminds me of when I went to SuperCuts for the first time and asked for just a trim for my straight bangs. I could just tell that she was trying to fix each side bc the whole thing went on for much longer than it should've. Ended up with one side lopsided.

I learned how to cut my hair on Youtube that night.

No. 592283

I’m so sick of hearing about conspiracy shit like Epstein, andrenochrome, ~the elites~ etc like it’s just too much. I’m sure some of it is important but the vast majority of it is stupid and the conversations around it are usually so unproductive and lead by the most idiotic people and I feel like it’s so widespread now. Literally everyone talks about this kind of thing but they still act as if they’re martyrs about to be taken out by the CIA for talking about it and exposing some earth shattering thing like how is it seemingly breaking news to so many people that extremely wealthy people are above the law

No. 592285

Update on this if anyone cares about some sweet karma getting handed to a simp:

So on Sunday night he fired me up again after I made aforementioned post. He kept insisting on calling me instead of typing so there wouldn't be receipts of the shit he would say and gaslight about, but under the guise of "calls are more personal." He kept dwelling on the fact that during our argument I had "made fun of him" when he brought up his issues as to why he suddenly wanted to reverse course and flake out on plans he made with me. Obviously, I don't find someone's depression, bad family, or anxiety funny but the reason why I laughed at him was because he had the audacity to bring personal issues up in order to manipulate me into excusing him treating me badly. It was so pathetic & obvious it was laughable. He kept going on about "wanting to be with me" and "dating and in a relationship are the same thing," but when I asked why he wouldn't show commitment now and to just let me know where I stood (since it makes no difference per his words), he brought up his issues and said to give him unspecified weeks to decide. Wtf, it doesn't work that way! As if he could have it both ways! I posted the laughing bitches gif and told him I'm not to be waitlisted and how pathetic that is after he'd gassed up wanting a relationship with me and been heavy on the flirting. It didn't make sense. I knew he wasn't about me at that point, he was just stringing me along because he liked my attention due to his low self-esteem. He wanted to flirt with me and use my feelings for his personal validation while waiting for that other woman who he'd been courting to finally pick him if only he simped hard enough. Everything made sense in that context, but I wanted to fuck with him because he cared deeply about being the """nice guy""" so I knew he'd never admit to lying because that would go against his carefully crafted ~nice guy~ image.

So he asked me what he could do to prove he cared and was committed? (Way to dump emotional labor, so attractive lol). I said he could come to my get together as he originally promised and suggested, and also to change his social media status to in a relationship–right now–as he only needed a few weeks to get his ducks in order and then he'd be ready for a relationship anyway, so why not now? He stuttered and said he'd do it, kek. He was panicking knowing the woman he was simping to, his exes, and whoever else he might have been flirting with would see it and know he is a liar. This bastard–who works in IT–first off pretended he didn't know how to update a relationship status. I told him to Google it. He did it but in such a way that it dismissed the notification and announcement to let friends know. Lol, I said "Oh let me fix that for you!" I took over and made it so announced so alll his buddies could see. His friends were congratulating him, but I knew he was seething and sweating. At that point he knew he was cornered and would have to try really hard to frame himself as a victim in order to get out of it without having to admit he was a conniving, two-timing, shitty asshole. I messaged my friends and told them I didn't expect him to keep this up for even a week. We all had a good laugh and placed bets.

He lasted an entire day. He barely talked to me or gave me any attention besides telling me how "uncomfortable" and "put off" he was because I dared mocked him on Sunday, and how he didn't want to see me anymore because me being mean had "soured" him–poor widdle babby! He specifically messaged me at work today to do the ~big dump~ knowing I was busy and couldn't really respond, nor do the ~phone call~ that he so valued before. This he wanted to have in writing. I told him exactly what I knew he was up to and said he would reap what he'd sow. How I was angry that he wasted my time. He tried to give me the sowwy but I weally care and wish you da best but I just cant be with uuu nonsense lines before I stopped talking. His coward ass gave me some last words, insisted I victimized him, and then blocked me. My friend showed me a cap of his self-indulgent pity post about deactivating his socials to go work on his issues and that he's such a ~nice guy~ and didn't mean to hurt anyone even though he did and got into a relationship he wasn't ready for. And wah. I have no sympathy for him. Women don't get away with using their past issues to be manipulative and abusive towards men, so.

You know what I did next for good measure? I messaged that other woman he had been two-timing me with. I reached out with genuine concern because she didn't deserve this bastard lying to her any more if she didn't know already.
I showed her all the caps of him having badmouthed her, and bringing her up without any prompt. She was so nice! She assured me that she was already aware of his fuckery, and showed me caps of him trying to cut her off when they had that argument last week. She confronted him about his behavior, but he did that shit where he'd act like the victim and he was just being considerate uwu. He had the audacity to tell her to stop messaging him as if he wasn't the one starting it. Then later he would be messaging her back as if nothing happened, like a deranged simp!
Apparently she had put up with this shit for months, she told me allllll the tea like his poor irl hygiene and how he's possessive and controlling. After that, she told him to fuck off, deleted him from her socials, and blocked him. While we were talking she said he was blowing up her phone LMAO, he was straight panicking! All of his simp effort gone to waste chef kiss.

Tbh fam I was really bummed initially, even though I expected everything to happen as it did. It just makes me mad that these nerds think they can be alpha players if they just disguise themselves as "nice guys" because they were never confident enough to be shitty to women up front when they were younger. I hope they never get laid, at least this guy won't for a very long time.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk!

No. 592288

Immigrant parents love to talk about how they came here so you could have a better life than they did and not experience the same suffering but then lowkey seem disappointed and resentful when you don’t suffer as much as they did. Like idk if it’s just my family but sometimes they seem like they expect me to behave as if I’m in a third world country even though I’m not and that I need to experience the same hardships they did even though it’s obviously a completely different situation. Idk if it’s just that because they went through something they feel like their kids should also have to experience it or they view it as some kind of necessary life experience but it’s so frustrating and irrational for them to expect.

No. 592289


Chef’s kiss indeed, I loved this, anon. I can sleep easy tonight knowing some garbage person got their just desserts.

No. 592309

too many people using it to push a political agenda and shit on liberal celebrities, far fetched theories, antisemitism and not enough actual research tends to make conspiracy theorists look retarded. it used to be interesting theories ala "jfk's murder was premeditated by someone inside the government" and now it's "tha gLOBALISTS are plotting westERN socIETYS DEMISE". conspiracy theories aren't as fun or as interesting anymore and most of the people perpetuating them are brain wormed, anti vax new age boomer faggots

No. 592317

he was driving at my walking pace, which is a pretty slow pace to drive. He also rolled down his window when I walked up my driveway and yelled hey and didn’t leave for a minute when I got inside. That’s probably when I should’ve done something because I still had the chance but the braincells were all gone

No. 592318

Just realized that I unarguably almost drowned to death last month. That sounds dumb but I put myself in a situation where I would come up for air for water but couldn't stay afloat long enough to reach the ledge. The only reason the cycle of sinking and coming back up for air ended was because my friend was next to me and grabbed my hand and pulled me up. We laughed immediately after and cracked jokes about it, and it really only settled in that if she weren't there, I would have died.

This was in a 12 ft pool embarrassingly enough. I really need to learn how to swim with my head above water and learn to stay afloat.

No. 592325

I was reading up on a topic on a normie parents' forum written by a teacher who was claiming that boys' bad performance in school is caused by their shitty upbringing that rewards them for being entitled little shits and doesn't expect anything from them. As a side note I'm ESL and live in a country where girls constantly excel over boys at school and proceed to get a higher education and MRAs unironically think this is oppressing them. The replies made me want to scream.
>nooooooo it's the school system's fault for favoring girls, the entire concept is built to work better for girls!!!
>it's the school's fault for hiring only female teachers, they are simply unable to teach my little hellspawn!
>It's the female teachers who hate male students! Why, one of them was BULLYING my son who refused to listen to her, told her off and continued disrupting the class!
>Look as a man I distinctively remember school being just boring, of course I had to entertain myself during class! It's not like I could control my behavior or be expected to endure boring things in my life like the girls are! As a man, I am entitled to constant stream of stimulation!
>M-muh testosterone, it's absolute biology for boys to behave like wild animals! The school system should take that into account and stop favoring girls reeee!
>muh ADHD, what do you mean girls are underdiagnosed with it and just have to deal with the symptoms when boys are excused by it all the time?
>I'm a woman myself and even I can see that my little boys are more rambunctious than my friends' daughters, it just MUST be biology you know? Feminists need to stop hating men!
>When BOYS are talking during class it's disrupting, when GIRLS do it they're always let off scot free!
>Yeah I know boys spend 10 hours on average playing games instead of doing schoolwork b-but girls spend all their time on social media, at least video games are more intelligent!
etc. Enraging. People keep making excuses for boys all the time, nothing is never their own fault or the result of our society and gender roles coddling them.

No. 592326

They don't want you to suffer, they want you to learn to fight for yourself. Big difference and their motives come from a good place of care, not a bad place of resentment.
Every person needs to learn to fight for themselves so they can have a good life. Your parents learned to do this by going through hardships, and they don't know how else to impart that vital knowledge onto you, but they know they must so they try regardless.

No. 592328

School was designed specifically for men to the exclusion of women because they thought we were too dumb to cope with education (and were afraid of the independence/opportunities it would give us lbr). I just feel satisfaction when I see girls get ahead, it's completely deserved after being held back for so long. And people still, to this day, regardless of all the proof to the contrary, think we are intellectually inferior to men. It's fucking nuts. I guess my female doctor, dentist, vet, professors, etc are all dumbfucks compared to some fat NEET shitposting on 4chan huh?

No. 592329

Had a dream where I was having tons of fun with my ex at some fair…only for him to tell me we really shouldn’t see each other until (thing) because it’s too painful etc. Then my alarm woke me up.
I really didn’t need this today lmao.

No. 592330

But anon! That NEET probably was a misunderstood genius bullied by female teachers and robbed of the good grades that righteously belonged to him! Those girls who went on to become doctors and professors were just given unfair advantage just like all women in our society! blergh easymode reee pussy privilege waahh

No. 592331

File: 1596007775095.jpg (149.8 KB, 1280x960, 4b4d3a1a8450d74e49582b35b542f6…)

My friend always makes these passive aggressive comments about me being slow and in contrast how energetic and quirky she is and it drives me fucking insane

No. 592334

God i wish i were an amerifat, i was born in Argentina. I hope you the best luck too, America seems like it's going through a really rough time.

Yeah… i am ashamed of running away, i feel like a coward leaving while my beautiful country is being robbed and destroyed but we also only live once and i don't want to waste my life here anymore.

That's exactly how i feel. I am 18 and the though of leaving without a college degree scares me, but i also can't stay here and finish my education because the education is terrible here, especially if you study an STEM career. So i don't know what to do, i feel lost and lonely.

No. 592336

I hate how this site hides post replies on Firefox.

No. 592337

If I call myself ugly first, I'm in control about it and it's not someone else calling me ugly. I want to punch everyone that replies with "No you're not" Fuck off, I am, leave me be.

No. 592354

i used to have bad acne on my face, back and chest and now my face is completely clear minus like 2 pimples a month and my back is decent, but holy fuck how the hell do you get rid of chest acne? its rarely big pimples, but a ton of small ones and clogged pores/blackheads. nothing ive ever tried has worked. tried to treat it like fungal acne, nope, birth control, nope, sensitive. laundry detergent and body wash, nothing. the most clear i ever see it is when i am on an antibiotic but still nowhere near decent. why the fuck is it so different than other parts of the body.

No. 592355

Body acne is the worst. I have an acne-free face but my lower back/buttcheeks/upper thighs are riddled with acne and it's often painful and looks horrible, as an added bonus it leaves big scars. Tried every bodywash, lotion, acne product and other tricks sans prescription meds and nothing works. It's hell. It must be because my office job requires a lot of sitting down but I really can't do anything about that.

No. 592356

Please go see a dermatologist. I had similar issue, nothing helped, got precription spot treatment gel and in two weeks the butt returned to it's former smooth glory. It's pointless to suffer and feel bad about yourself when the fix can be so easy.

No. 592358

Do you treat your chest the same way you treat your face? All the skincare steps and so.

No. 592361

I'm so fucking sick of summer. I hate waking up and it's boiling and bright as fuck it makes me feel so depressed. I wake up every morning immediately upset because its so "" nice"" outside. Everyone else is saying how they love summer and it makes them feel so happy. It makes me want to fuck up my sleep schedule so I'm only awake during the night but I can't do that because I have work. I know this sounds stupid but I genuinely feel stuck and feeling sad just waiting for summer to end.

No. 592367

anon, i feel this every year. summer makes me legit angry and depressed because i feel so gross and sweaty all the time. it just chips away at my endurance and patience until it FINALLY gets colder again. some days i just cry because i can't handle the heat anymore. i also get horrible heat migraines that won't go away for days whenever a new heatwave starts. thank god my country had a pretty ok summer so far, with days above 30 degrees celsius being the exception, not the norm, but i'm dreading that we will get 'proper' summer soon ugh.

No. 592381

I'm feeling really really bad about myself. If I'm being honest, suicidal levels of bad. I can't stop thinking about how I'm inferior to other girls my age in terms of looks, personality, and accomplishments. I'm not ugly, but I'm not cute. I'm not completely dumb, but I'm not smart. I'm not a degenerate, but I really really struggle to socialize with others and maintain relationships. That's the biggest issue. I'm 23 and have 1 true friend. Everyone I know has multiple. I know for a fact people think I'm awkward and have said it to my face. I feel awkward, I don't feel confident. I felt all these things when I was 13, why am I feeling them still? I always told myself life would get better. That I would find myself in college when I wasn't sheltered by my parents anymore. I didn't find myself, I found severe depression and anxiety and hopelessness. I am completely hopeless and know for a fact life won't be beautiful for me. It never was. It never will.

No. 592384

I've ranted about it in anoher thread already, but I'm sick of satanism being the focus of tinfoilers, like when I read an article or watch a video about pedo sex rings, they seem more horrified by the pseudo occult ceremonies than, y'know, the abuse and murder of kids.

No. 592386

I'm 23 too, and i see this feeling rolling around a lot of people our age. I think it's fine to not have 'found yourself' yet, most of my friends are older than me and from what I can tell that feeling doesn't go anywhere fast.
I don't know you so i don't know what to tell you or say, but i hope you can find some small comfort in knowing people here will see your post and relate and sympathise. you are not alone.

No. 592390

it feels like my spaces to gossip (and friend circles online) are getting smaller and smaller.
Lipstick alley seems to have gotten an influx of angry troons, gay men and men in general, constantly calling bio women men and saying gross shit or just flat out trolls.

Every space on reddit is fucked up, and since I can't work right now and Covid is happening, I feel like I need to give the internet a break in general, but it's hard.
I miss having a fucking life tbh.

No. 592392

I felt very similar at your age. It slowly goes away in time, you'll see. Also having 1 true friends is far more valuable than having a group of friends with whom you're not really that close, I think you really can consider yourself lucky to have that.

No. 592394

Angry troons on lipstick alley7 Damn, that sucks. I would have suggested Gossip guru if it wasn't a PULL but for older ladies (at least based off CutiePieMarzia threads that is literally the same as SimplyKenna threads on PULL. Blogposting and admits of jealousy while nitpicking over every little thing.)

No. 592395

Anon, I know how this feels but I promise you that it will get better. I know this is generic to say but it will. Everyone feels this way at times and a lot of people have 1 true friend and people they hang with.
you'll find you're place I promise.

They pop up every thread that has to do with transwomen and are always purposely doing shit to trigger people. They'll call someone a "cis" woman for no reason, or are obviously Troons or gay men trying to put on a cape.

It's annoying because you can always spot them. I'm thinking of giving all gossipy sites a break does not do much for my mental or my life.

it's just been so depressing since covid. I'm just noticing how many trolls and weirdos have slowly invaded cool spaces.

No. 592419

I know it's stupid but I still feel bad about having a 'roast beef' vulva. I'm brown too so my inner labia are pretty dark. I once got insulted for my lips when I was 15 and I'm heartbroken over it. I feel sad about it because my biscuit doesn't deserve this loathing but I can't help it

No. 592423

Yeah, I believe leaving it completely or taking a break would sound a good idea, considering how badly it affects your mental health (but and the fact that the websites quality gone to shit).

No. 592424

It’s okay anon, I’m pretty sure most of us have similar looking labia. If it really, really bothers you/makes you feel down, you could try getting a surgery to make it look like a cool pornstar type of labia.

But to be honest, I’m pretty sure most people won’t pay attention to that kind of stuff, unless they’re pathetic incels that have never seen a pussy before other than in porn.

Which is kind of weird because there’s a bunch of “roast beef” type of labia in porn, genetics take a huge part in how it looks, so it’s actually common to see, well, normal looking labia instead of the smooth looking type, I wouldn’t be surprised if there are women doing porn that got a labia surgery just because.

No. 592425

Hope you'll eventually manage to move past is. There's literally nothing ugly about bigger or darker labia, I really hate porn for perpetuating the stereotype that the only right look for the vagina is pastel-pink tiny labia minora completely hidden inside outer lips. It's sad women will get surgeries and bleachings done to achieve that look.
I know there's always some controversy around feminist artists doing projects like vaginas as flowers, or vagina mandalas, but these things actually made me realize how much variety there is and how beautiful is said variety.

No. 592428

Same. I've isolated myself from online spaces pretty thoroughly, Lolcow is the only place I actually go to. I don't even use social media anymore. Everything is so heavily politicized and nobody wants to have fun anymore. Every space is overrun by troons, men and people eating each other alive over innocuous mistakes and politics. If you want an alternative said.it is a thing and I mostly browse the gendercritical sub there but even that one has its fair share of pearl-clutching normalfags who think "clown word" is racist nazi lingo.

No. 592429

I keep dreaming of finding someone through the friend finder thread who would conveniently live in the exact same city as me so we could just instantly start going for coffee and drinks and to gigs and we would walk around the city at night laughing and talking about stupid weeb stuff.
It's even more stupid because I have friends, it's just that between getting older and lock down nobody wants to hang out in this teenage type of way anymore. I feel guilty because I'm so sad and lonely, but at the same time I'm not responding enough to my real friend's messages.

No. 592431

I read today that the average blood lost during periods is 40-60 ml with total flow (including tissue and blood clots) of 120 ml.
How is this real? I feel like during the span of 4-5 days, i lose like 250 ml (a cup) of total tissue. I don't get heavy periods but idk, something about 120 ml just sounds so little to me.

No. 592432

It’s insane to me that some people think you should go to prison for selling $20 worth of weed

No. 592444

same except no irl friends

No. 592450

It's not stupid and I really hope you find this kind of friendship.

No. 592457

Last update from former clown, now free bitch/pedicure-chan.

I was telling my friend we should get dinner bc all I had consumed was a venti black iced coffee and sugar free Red Bull, and the nail lady (who knows us well) whipped her head up so fast and gave me the scariest disapproving Asian mom look. It reminded me of my own mom, kek. We got forzen pizzas, doritos, and had a girls' night. Men are trash, and women are golden and magical, never forget that. Ladies in bad relationships, I say from experience, dump him.

No. 592458

I also have been very iffy about the supposed ml lost, I mean do we have any cup users here to chime in ? I only use pads and these days have the driest flow but back in the day I swear I lost like half a dl.

No. 592459

I envy you so much. My boyfriend isn't bad, but I don't feel like we love each other the same way anymore and I daydream about when I'll finally leave him. My only downside is that I'll be falling back on my parents for help for a bit and it makes me feel guilty and retarded. I was reading your posts yesterday just as enviously, and I'm so proud and happy for you! Girlfriends are a gift, cherish them! Mine moved to different countries and I miss them so much. Your life is so nice and worth enjoying, I'm happy for you! How do your nails look?

No. 592460

My menstrual chalice never runneth over, and I keep it in for quite some time usually.

No. 592468

File: 1596029512325.jpg (40.5 KB, 600x600, ending bad relationships like.…)

Aw anon, if you're at that point, it's probably time to go. I'll admit, it's easier for me to leave bad relationships now because I've already probably left the hardest relationship situation and survived it–lived with the man for 3 years and had to move out even though I paid the rent and was the one to break things off despite loving him, all that. It sucked and I wanted to fucking die lol, but pic related.
My sister and best friend at the time weren't around either, I actually became close to my best friend now after moving out because I was able to form better friendships leaving my partner and not trying to force that relationship to be better anymore. If you have to fall back on your parents and they're willing to help you and that's safe, then go for it. I wish you the best. You seriously deserve it, we all do.

My nails look so good, the white was chipping and I went back to a classic red and they're freaking b-e-a-UTIFULLL, thanks for asking!

No. 592475

I have heard your words and I thank thee, Menstrual Deity Of Lolcow.

No. 592477

Looking for a place to rent is so hard in this current situation, why are landlords so shit at making and maintaining nice properties? why do they think it's okay to charge extortionate prices for mouldy and cold rooms? the worst part is I might have to take it since theres nothing else available and I need to live here for my job.

No. 592480

Who only sells 20$ of Weed and never again tho?

No. 592483

Would my vent make sense to anyone if I said how I think I'm the type of girl who's 'attainable cute'? It pisses me off cause it seems like I'm only ever used as a placeholder in a guy's life so he can feel better about himself but never taken seriously.
I remember how someone said scrotes 'date up' which is a shame cause I don't really get a lot of normal dudes for the fact. It turns out that I mostly attract borderline uglies who have a fuckton of issues and are just looking for a cute girl who won't be a bitch to them while they act shitty. Then ditch her promptly when they get what they want from her. I want to be mean to them when this happens so badly but there's always a part of me holding back, which never matters because they just do what they want anyway in the end. I'm tired of the high road while they can act like innocent guys after the fact because no one thinks they're hot enough to have been egotistical jerks to women just because they say. But they are deep down. Everyone always thinks there's something wrong with the woman to have warranted the behavior too if they do believe the scrote did something bad to her.

I don't know any other solutions besides being single forever and always keeping them at arm's length.

No. 592487

Oh anon I feel you. I just spent 2 months looking, finally found a place. It's as overpriced as everything is. Bonus, within the first hour of moving in last weekend, I discovered it came with roaches. So that's my current battle.
I hope you have better luck. If they crank the AC, it could be because they are trying to keep the roaches at Bay. Look at every inch while you're there.

No. 592493

I had been going out with a friend for a month, couldn’t figure out why he wouldn’t kiss me after our dates (they were dates, he would take me out to expensive restaurants), and yesterday he sent me the longest text I’ve ever seen telling me he had been lying to me about stupid shit, like he dropped out of a class two weeks ago and we were having conversations on Monday where he was telling me how hard his class was and how he was sooo busy, and that he has intimacy problems due to his last (and possibly only?) girlfriend and can’t handle physical touch. Then in the last paragraph he told me that he understood if I was upset but would love it if I “blew his mind with [my] response”. Ahahahaha what the fuck, he sent six paragraphs about how he lies to me and can’t have sex and then wanted me to go out to dinner next week?? I’m still reeling from how retarded the situation is.

No. 592496

He's testing the waters to see if you'll continue to date him despite being a liar who doesn't want to touch you. I'd dump, don't give him the chance to play victim. He's the asshole.

No. 592497

Men are insane, anon. Blow his mind by not responding at all.

No. 592499

File: 1596034007954.gif (1.99 MB, 400x225, 1564045709865.gif)

I'm so fucking frustrated with myself.
Every single day I tell myself I'm actually going to do something today. Something slightly memorable, even if it's just drawing or taking a walk outside. And yet, somehow, I always end up spending all day fucking around on 4chan or other internet timesinks and not doing anything of value. I'm desperate at this point, I don't know what to do. I know how pathetic it sounds but it's like I fundamentally lack the discipline to change this. I don't want weeks to fly by like they're nothing, but actually making a change and doing something new takes a completely unreasonable amount of energy. I feel like a failure for even having to admit it. Like a millennial who's been ruined by the internet and now has an attention span that literally doesn't allow for more than two minutes of focus. Let alone initiative.
I'm actively wasting my life yet I feel too drained of energy to do anything about it. Like I know that it's up to me to change and I know it's completely my own fault, but it's like I'm in the backseat yelling at myself to get off my ass from the back of my head and being completely ignored.

No. 592500

They have severe issues and just expect women to deal with it or fix it for them. I think a lot of men have caught on to using "mental illness" and "trauma" to get away with treating women like shit.

No. 592502

I have no idea but I'm just like you. Take a break, don't seriously date anyone in a while and you'll feel better.

No. 592503

I'm not sure if you're looking for advice, but I do have a suggestion for you anon.
Say you want to go on a walk tomorrow, you're more likely to do it if you prepared for it.
Tonight go ahead and lay out your shoes and walking clothes for the morning. Pack a bottle of water or a snack and set it someplace on a table near the door. Make sure your phone is fully charged. Look up a place on google if you wanna walk somewhere specific and see what's special around the area, and what places or things you'd want to take pictures of.
I know it sounds cheesy, but if you treat it like a date for yourself you'll be less likely to blow it off.

No. 592505

Exactly. Like, women have trauma and mental illness, 99.9% of the time caused BY MEN LOL and we deal with it and go to therapy. Men need to start. I've started saying "you should go to therapy" to men and they flip their shit or get defensive immediately lol but fuck em, we don't owe them anything.

No. 592508

Most men would just dump a girl for way less crazy behaviour than this, add in the lack of sex and they'd call you a bitch too! Move on, he's too much and you have no real investment in him thankfully.

No. 592509

I've met so many men that desperately need therapy and refuse to get it, they're like 'nah I'll just carry on having a short fuse and making my loved ones pay the price'

No. 592511

Plus they just bullshit about getting help too. Can't tell you how many times men get caught in their BS and they pretend to be contrite 'Oh i should go 2 therapy…' and they NEVER do. They just say it to appease whoever's having to deal with their shit and carry on as usual.

No. 592512

I just couldn’t believe how soon he revealed himself as being like this, trust me after he sent that he asked me to call him and I told him I’d get back to him in a few days. Amazing how men can really feel so confident with bringing nothing to the table at all, it’s so embarrassing for them. >>592500
The kicker is he’s super high and mighty about his mental health cause he sees a therapist and has an excessive psychedelics regimen and never does anything fun, so he always projects that he’s sooo well adjusted because he doesn’t like, drink or watch tv like a normal person. It’s like a microdosing, “spiritual” 2020 version of Patrick Bateman.

No. 592516

Thanks, I really appreciate it. I'm going to give that a try.
Being low on initiative means that even a small amount of preparation turns into a hurdle that'll prevent me from doing it, so it's a good idea to try and at least make that hurdle as small as possible.

No. 592528

File: 1596038866824.jpg (36.75 KB, 750x567, c7c2c1cb9f1cd90a5db82ab1b867d3…)

Applied to some masters programs back in 2016, didn't get into the one I wanted most, so I decided to step back and work on CV for a while. Now it's 2020, the world's burning around me, and I'm sitting here emailing admissions departments like that "this is fine" dog surrounded by fire. Sometimes I feel like I view graduate school as a pause button on the bullshit. A long vacation from real life. What if I'm getting into it for the wrong reasons?

No. 592557

>take mental health day off from work
>get on bumble bff
>suddenly hyper aware that I am an ugly loser compared to instagram models with status jobs and cute pets
>trying to swipe on alt-y type girls who aren't military wine moms asking for play dates for their kids
>no matches
>Bumble alerts me, get excited
>it's to have me pay to see who swiped on me but I didn't swipe on

It's an app perfectly crafted for depression.

No. 592561

I'm a tomboyish lez who dreams of having a cute hyperfeminine gf to take care of, but all the ones around me are obnoxious self-infantilizing tumblrinas who think hating astrology is misogynistic or whatever. Sux man

No. 592570

Noooo, where are you, I'm femme but independent and have an ironic love/hate relationship with astrology and won't annoy you with it, I promise.

No. 592575

Guy: I want to be in a relationship with you.
Me: K, then let's go ahead and say we're in a relationship. We'll keep talking and if it turns out we're not compatible along the way then no hard feelings.

Men are nothing but little bitches anymore.

No. 592581

File: 1596045643590.png (414.54 KB, 500x473, IMG_20190924_230437.png)

I was extremely poor growing up and lived with a video game-addicted manchild who didn't want to do anything or travel anywhere together until I was 24, so I never got to do anything fun except sit in my house while he plays and work on college stuff. I didn't have any female friends because I moved to another country to be with him, then I dumped him when he wouldn't do the same for me for 1 (one) year because he wanted to be close to his mommy. He also talked shit about my country a lot.

I never had money to travel until recently, and now with the rona stuff I can't go anywhere. I also didn't have any female friends until recently (moved to a new country and college classmates were nice but normie gym nuts who didn't want to do much outside of clubbing), now I reconnected with some old friends from my home country but I can't go back to visit them. Despite the restrictions, I see people travelling a lot on my insta feed, and I'm super bitter about it because now that I can afford it, I can't go.

On top of that, my friends are slowly starting to talk about getting married, settling down and having babies. I've dated a tiny bit after I dumped the manchild, but I never found anyone I'd want to settle down with, and right now I want to enjoy just being in a relationship or even alone for a bit. My current bf pressures me into hurrying up because he wants kids and to play house in the next couple of years, and I feel like the whole world is hurrying me along and telling me to settle down asap.

I feel like at this rate I'll never get to see the world past my 4 walls and have fun, travel and talk over coffee with friends. I wasted my early 20s on a piece of shit and now I'm being pushed to play mommy with my bf who wants to baby trap me and society at large. It's just one disappointment after another.

No. 592584

in most cases it doesnt sound like being a little bitch just manipulative. they give you the "i wanna be in a relationship" lines because its what they think you wanna hear, but they're not willing to actually do anything partner-like. thats why when it comes time to commit they suddenly "can't handle it anymore". if you were to offer sex with no commitment necessary, they'd never have any mental health or stress issues. it's only when you want mutual engagement in each others lives and emotional support that it's suddenly a problem. funny how that works

No. 592585

Guys there days dont seem to want to be in relationship with girls who are super pretty or rich and they just keep ok looking girls around for sex and to kill boredom until they find mrs perfect…

No. 592586

File: 1596045887645.jpg (173.28 KB, 1280x720, maxresdefault (1).jpg)

Play vidya games

No. 592590

File: 1596046181279.jpg (73.14 KB, 923x1200, DK0l7h_UEAEvulj.jpg)

i play roblox and minecraft

No. 592594

please go back to making Minecraft song parodies

No. 592621

Yesterday my mom got really mad at me when she heard that I had been hanging out at a friend's house last week. Today, that same friend told me that her brother's girlfriend (who basically came over the same day, though I didn't see her) thinks that she might have Covid and is getting tested for it today. Ugh, if she does have it I guess that's karma to me for not being more careful. I also feel like I should probably tell my family the news so that I can self-isolate from them just to be safe, but I'm not looking forward to another lecture even though I guess I deserve it.

No. 592625

My current boyfriend threatens suicide when I try to leave, no biggie. Doesn't work/I don't believe him so I keep moving further away. Now he's threatening to kill my cats if I leave, so I've stayed again. I know I'm being manipulated and shit but I also can't risk that right now and the police can't do much until "something" happens.
I can't take them when I move back home and don't have a large enough nest egg to take them to an apartment. Men are scary and retarded. Holy fuck I don't care if he threatens or even attempts suicide but if he touches my cats it's clown world mode-ON and I'll set him on fire alive.

No. 592631

Are you easily able to move back home/move into an apartment without the cats? See if someone else can take them off your hands while you get situated, preferably someone you know who is aware that you'd be trapped in an abusive relationship otherwise. Otherwise, I'd honestly just try and find someone else to adopt them. I know that's not easy but your life is more important than keeping your cats, anon. This guy is legitimately dangerous and you need to get away from him ASAP.

No. 592634

Oh man, so a few years ago an old friend and I started hooking up/hanging out, it ended unceremoniously when he announced he was seeing someone and left my house in the early hours. He's apologised since and we are all good, still good friends hanging out and air fully cleared.
Thing is that about a year after he and i stopped he started dating someone new, and I became really good friends with her, like i'd consider her a best friend now. I ended up counselling her through their break up with the aforementioned guy. I never told her about my relationship him, and it's been about a year and a half of us being close friends so i feel like the ship has sailed.
she has shared screenshots of things he would say to them over text, like sexual and intimate stuff and it makes me so uncomfortable, I dealt with the exact same stuff just without anyone to counsel me. Whenever she shows me this shit I start to doubt my feelings about what went down between me and him, and i wanna go through my own messages with him (I never do it, it's not worth it) as if thats gonna prove he was more into me? I hate thinking like this i hate it i hate it!
I wanna tell him to apologise to her because I can't take the emotional brunt of cleaning up after him, he apologised to me and i didn't give him a hard time so whats he afraid of? But also i feel like i've received conflicting information about how they broke up and i don't know if it's worth my emotional efforts.

sorry if this is incoherent, it's hard to describe a situation like this and i'm so exhausted by having to wrestle with the whole thing every time he pops into her head.

No. 592644

jfc anon, literally all of this confusion and frustration could have been avoided if you'd just told her up front that you used to date him. the fact that you didn't makes it really hard for me to believe that you were ever truly completely over him. either that or your communication skills are bad enough to warrant extensive therapy.

tbh the whole situation sounds awkward enough to warrant just ghosting both of them if you're not willing to be honest with her about your past dating history with him. it's pretty fucked up that she doesn't know that and has been sharing all these intimate details with you about it.

No. 592647

If he's threatening to take the lives of multiple pets then I really think any service for abused women will order you to get out of there right now, if you contact a womans shelter they might have connections for temporary housing of the animals. They're used to men doing exactly this type of trapping.

No. 592652

I worked for a few months from home doing call center shit, and it paid well but was mentally taxing. I tried to not let the customers get to me since they're really angry at the company, not me, but they would sometimes say shit about my voice even tho I'm perfectly understandable and speak native English. There was also not support from my manager who was always unavailable and the training was shit. I only got that job to save up for another job that required me to move abroad. Thanks to the pandemic that's not happening anytime soon. Finally the call center stress got to me (loss of appetite, heart palpitations, wanting to die etc.) so I quit. I'm still applying to new jobs but I feel so useless mooching off my dad and living at home, so joke's on me I still wanna die.

No. 592656

Yeah i'm a huge dumbass, maybe i wasn't as over him as i thought when i met her. Every time i talk to her i want to tell her but i don't know how at this point, i'm in too deep. I never said i didn't have a relationship with him….

No. 592673

Well at least you're self-aware. I think telling your friend about your history with him would be the right thing to do if you think the relationship is worth maintaining. Be prepared to grovel for forgiveness though kek.

>I never said i didn't have a relationship with him….

What do you mean? Your initial post just said you were hooking up with him iirc

No. 592676

I meant I never said to her I didn’t date him.
My heads all fucked now, I wish I never posted here it was silly of me. I needed the slap in the face but now I’m scared of the confrontation

No. 592678

>Whenever she shows me this shit I start to doubt my feelings about what went down between me and him, and i wanna go through my own messages with him (I never do it, it's not worth it) as if thats gonna prove he was more into me?
This is a very bad sign. You need to move on. Your envy may ruin their relationship and your relationship with both of them. She trusts you, he wants to be with her, not you, don't ruin it just because you want to feel like he maybe preferred you at some point.
There are two routes with possible good outcome. If it really weights on you and you really need to say it - do it. Sit with her only, apologize for never bringing it up before, tell her how you feel and assure her it's not a threat to her relationship. Or, the other way, if you kept quiet for so long and he didn't say anything either, just keep quiet. Never mention anything. It was long in the past, if you really moved on you wouldn't even think of it, so move on by yourself and forget.
Either way please think rationally about it and think about every party involved. I hope everything will be alright.

No. 592679

Let me play therapist here for a sec: do you fear confrontation in general, or do you get a sense that this friend of yours is actually a confrontational person? Does she remind you of anyone?

Don't be so hard on yourself anon. It's not cool that you haven't been up front with your friend, but all of our behaviors have real origins. It's always good to examine these things. It's how we work through problems and do better in the future.

No. 592683

They broke up a while ago, it’s old stuff that gets dragged up

No. 592685

sometimes i wish i could've given my body to some guy instead of an ugly fat cunt i had no attraction to

No. 592687

can i just quickly sperg for a second about how fucking stupid post modernism and queer theory is when it's applied to science and anthropology???

"everything including labels and subgroupings are human crafted :)" yea no fucking shit sherlock, bonobos aren't the ones writing thesis on their own relationships to chimps, humans are. but that doesn't negate the fact that bonobos are bonobos and chimps are chimps. it doesn't negate that chimps and bonobos cannot reproduce naturally in their own environments, or that relationships in their dna can be extracted and analyzed so that hybrids can be created in a lab setting. theres a fucking reason why it takes thousands of years for species to interbreed, evolve and thrive. sexual dimorphism exists because it is and was a successful factor in the human race's evolution, it evolved alongside humans to fit whatever environment they found themselves in. i love postulating about how human defined categories such as gender, sex, religion, race can be deconstructed and negated…but standards must be set in order for things to have concrete meaning. you can't just look at an outlier and assume the existence proves the category as null. post modernists straight up have worms in they goddamn brains. they don't even offer new categories, or their new categories make no concrete sense and devalue any meaningful action!

with many (visually) sexually dimorphic species, if an outlier (entirely different species, mutation bearer, etc.) enters a habitat, that outlier will either
1. die without mating, because the normal female/male species will not recognize the atypical phenotype and therefore refuse to mate with the outlier
2. the outlier does mate with another and somehow gives birth (or fathers) a hybrid….that will likely suffer from fertility issues…thus ending the lineage.

if the hybrid species offspring manages to survive, they still will struggle to get mates of the original colony because it's appearance will likely not be typical to the sexually dimorphic species.because of this, it is almost guaranteed that this offspring will subsequently mate with the original outlier (father) and have incestuous offspring. that offspring will mate with it's siblings, parents, etc. often times these early generations will be a. completely wiped out due to lack of successful mating and poor genetic variance, b. be successful for a few generations and then bottle necked back into incestuous cycles, or c. very rarely be successful and will create their own thriving population through sheer luck or environmental factors. see island populations as an example.

when people say shit like "sex is more complicated than this and that", they are surely right to say that. but exceptions only prove the rule. you cannot deny that the entrance of atypical genes, phenotypes and sexual outliers do not perform well in most environments. they live and die without successful mating. if they do mate, their offspring will suffer in the same way that they do. do people not understand how many times the human population bottlenecked and almost went into extinction? and relied on incestuous breeding? weird how families somehow knew that fucking your sister would result in babies. sex is a spectrum my fucking ass. people are so willfully fucking obtuse.

sexual dimorphism isn't a spectrum, there are no third sets of gametes within human dna that serve a purpose in reproduction. any definition of sexual dimorphism can apply to different species in different ways and degrees. even some variations of early hominids displayed very miniscule amounts of sexual dimorphism in their presentation, but these were weeded out (we don't know why or how, but i tend to believe their lack of sex difference contributed to poor survival rates). early hominids were more sexually dimorphic than they are today, showing higher differences in height, weight and other variances. this paired with the ((likely, we cant know for sure how and if it was universal)) polygamous aspect of early hominids allowed for the species to thrive and populate the environment in a greater fashion. so when motherfuckers complain about how sex itself, as a biological factor, is a social construct, i say bitch where? how is it a construct when significant and atypical outliers in a sex dymorphic population are unable reproduce successfully? how is it a construct when hominids knew who to fuck in order to have babies, even if that was their own father or sister? do humans with a DSD who are successfully able to mate and give birth pass on their DSD and create a third sex? no, they pass on their genetics and with that, possibilities of their offspring developing a similar condition, in which they will go through the same trials. there are obviously nuances to the conversation (arguing how sexual dimorphism comes in degrees, how it can change throughout evolution, how we can define it in biology via genetics, phenotype, gametes, etc) but the absolute state of this discourse is so fucking stupid, i had to sperg. i want to go back to school to get a higher degree in anthropology but cannot stand how academia is muddled with post modern thinking that seeks to invalidate concrete scientific evidence. call me a jordan peterson fag, i hate the guy, but fuck post-modernism dominating any relatively scientific setting. it's useless. people need to stop being willfully obtuse in regards to academia, stop pretending you don't know what a man or a woman is, stop pretending that categories are somehow invaluable ways of defining humanity or anything on this goddamn planet.

alright, sperg over, please continue on with your days ladies.

No. 592691

Virginity isn’t a token that can be spent, don’t dwell on regrettable sexual experiences anon, there’s a world of people waiting to tap that

No. 592693

i mean i basically agree with this. it's just a fad to try to deconstruct and try to devalue everything for whatever reason.

No. 592694

ngl i didn't read most of this, but your wisdom on this topic is admirable

No. 592710

I liked reading this, I felt my brain growing, thanks anon

No. 592719

File: 1596058487503.jpg (41.36 KB, 502x497, 49tutc.jpg)

This was a cool read anon

No. 592734

Anon I wish you could tell this to my trans obsessed anthropology major friend

No. 592744

This is great, as always, science > ideology

No. 592751

You sound retarded saying "science" when she's clearly talking about anthropology.

No. 592756

i feel for you anon, i definitely know a few like her in my circle, lmao. the biggest fuck ups in (cultural) anthropology are the ones who apply modern thinking and assumption towards thousand year old peoples. whether it be prescribing meaning to third genders, ritualistic prostitution, burial sites…the list goes on. don't even get me started on people saying that Hatsheput was a trans man.

the shit thing about this field is that you have to accept that you will probably never know the answer to most questions. the best you can do is speculate on this evidence given, and compare evidence to similar cases from that time and place. it's not a particularly recent phenomenon, i mean the field of archaeology and anthropology was built on bad takes and European biases. but when people are suddenly calling you bigoted for pointing out that sex is fundamental to human evolution and identity, that most human civilization became patriarchal after the neolithic revolution, in not just europe…but africa and asia and america as well. but even some anthropologists are spouting shit like "biological sex is a european white supremacist concept :)" full well knowing that putting a pp in a vagene = babby. if biological sex were a european concept, we wouldn't be here because hominids would've died in africa and never spread in the first place. people are so fucking stupid and think a tumblerer blog is a scientific source.

No. 592760

My husband has been going through cancer treatment and had what we are hoping is his last chemo that will confirm his tumor is completely gone
We won't know until next week when he does another scan. Needless to say I'm anxious af about it
He is only 22 turning 23 and life really had to shit on us with this diagnosis
We have been struggling since December and I'm scared because his last scans showed significant improvement to the point his doctor said he is in remission
But we have no idea what to expect now because while his health is improving, I'm not sure if our journey is really over
It sucks that I am doing my best to be strong for him and take care of him but I have no one to do the same for me since we are so far from family in a different country

No. 592762

This is so much to handle for just one person, I can't even imagine. Be strong, I hope everything turns out to be actually as good as it seems.

No. 592764

You're so strong for being there for him, fingers crossed he is indeed in remission (is that the right terminology here). Let us know what happens anyways if you have the energy to!

No. 592767

im so sorry anon :( him being young definitely improves his odds of recovery and remission, stay hopeful <3 don't forget to take care of your own health too

No. 592773

File: 1596064444249.gif (1.35 MB, 498x280, tenor.gif)

Seeing obvious teenagers in comment sections casually mentioning polyamory as if its a normal thing is really worrying.

No. 592774

Thank you anon. Its him that is going through the worst of it all
The most I can do is just be there for him as he gets through this mess
We have such supportive family members despite the distance and I'm extremely glad for that
Dealing with cancer really puts shit into perspective but god it makes me want to cry whenever I think of all the shit we've been through to get here
He was so close to almost dying on me if it wasnt for our current doctor having so much faith in him
The man treats us like a father away from home and has always answered all our dumb questions and put in so much work when he had to be hospitalized at one point
I can never thank him and the nurses that work with him enough
God I'm fucking tearing up just writing this but I seriously have no one to talk to that just let's me get all these emotions out

No. 592775

Why does that worry you?

No. 592777

Not the original poster, but a more interesting question would be, why are you okay with that? Why should polyamory to be normal to teens?

No. 592783

I have a legitimate argument.

You are too fucking young to get tied down to anyone when you're a teenager.

When I was that age I didn't even know what I wanted to be someday, let alone what I wanted in a husband.

And when you're that young, who you get with can change the path of your life and you can go down a road you regret. Especially when the whole idea of giving your virginity to that one twue wuv has been built up in your head, it can make you be loyal to someone who is bent on destroying all your confidence.

Also think of this too. Don't you think the urge to control the lives of others comes from repressing things within yourself?

At the end of the day these people aren't really affecting your life are they?

It's not like we have control over the greater workings of society, anyway.

No. 592786

>Really miss my fiance and can't wait to see him again and sleep together
>As soon as he's here I do everything I can to avoid getting fucked, including ignoring his boners and saying shit in a baby voice that's an immediate turn off
>The second he steps out the door I miss him and can't wait to see him again and maybe this time sleep together
>The cycle continues

It's been months now. Why???

No. 592788

i understand where you are coming from and all people mature differently in regards to sex and relationships, but i feel like polyamory and the fuller extent of hook up culture really just ends up fucking over girls in particular. boys just want increased sexual access because they're horny, girls want to give sex in order to feel loved and valued during their awful puberty years. Most girls I know regret almost every sexual encounter they had in their teens because they engaged in it for the wrong reasons. Teenagers are gonna experiment no matter but when you have adults feeding them weird sex positive rhetoric, kink culture or other sexual terms that are not mainstream, you risk putting them in circles that will ultimately bring them harm. Not a pearl clutcher, i think kids are gonna do shit regardless. but lets not act like they're not learning this shit from adults. it's creepy

No. 592793

Sure these things are out of my control, but there's no denying that there are a lot of problems that come with having multiple partners and growing up in an environment that encourages it. Just seems like a breeding ground for drama and manipulation.
Also these relationships never seem to work out for most people anyway. Not just with teens but also with adults. It a always ends in disaster.

also this
This shit was always being pushed by adults. Nothing new though, it happens all the time on tumblr.

No. 592794

Mother fucker. I took a hiatus from lolcow during the time Jillian Visseys thread was moved from snow to /w . Came back to lolcow and was like what the fuck why did her thread die. Disregard i, never questioned it. I never went onto /w/ cause it’s not my interests whatever. I still follow her on YouTube wondering why all her dumb ass behavior isn’t being recorded on on snow. Regardless today I saw on the front page those stupid heart track pants she wears, and was like fucking Jill bean wears those 365 days. Click on it it. lo and behold it takes me to her thread.
Mfw I have some nice reading to catch up on tho.

No. 592807

>why are you okay with that?
I see no reason why I should be against polygamy any more than I should be against monogamy.

>Why should polyamory to be normal to teens?

The post I replied to said the teenagers were "casually mentioning" polyamory. I didn't interpret that as meaning or suggesting that the teenagers themselves are in some kind of polygamous relationship(s). Even then, I don't understand why I should innately be against that, regardless of the age of those involved.

Some other anons like >>592788 and >>592793 have made critiques of polyamory like
>i feel like polyamory and the fuller extent of hook up culture really just ends up fucking over girls in particular
>Just seems like a breeding ground for drama and manipulation
>Also these relationships never seem to work out for most people anyway. Not just with teens but also with adults. It a always ends in disaster
>This shit was always being pushed by adults
but in my personal opinion, these situations are equally as capable of happening in monogamous relationships, and these issues aren't issues that are exclusive to polygamy. I suppose I respect people choosing to be in whatever kind of relationship anyone involved in consents to and feels respected in.

No. 592809

File: 1596068217925.png (239.05 KB, 395x407, 1327253488001.png)

I've been a member of a number of different organizations and clubs for several years now. Also been employed by a lot of different companies as well. Almost every single one always has had some sort of social media page where they promote themselves, post photos/videos of everyone involved, at outings and company events, etc. Without fail, none of the photos or videos chosen as promotional material ever include me in them. The irony is that I'm frequently asked to submit footage of myself for these videos, but it's never used. I'm really not kidding when I say that this has been the case for literally years.

I have body dysmorphia and I never tend to like the way I look in photos to begin with. I have an awkward smile, my chin droops unflatteringly when I smile, my teeth are fucked up/dull-colored due to drinking too much coffee and aging, etc. I'm also aware that I hyperfocus on my flaws, but the fact that it seems like I'm being intentionally left out of group photos and videos taken by people I work with really seems to solidify the idea that I am genuinely ugly and unphotogenic. It fucking sucks and I don't know what to do about it. I wish someone would just fucking be real with me and tell me that I'm a hideous monster so that I can either invest in plastic surgery/dental work or off myself already.

No. 592838

Why would you have mixed kids if you’re literally a vocal white supremacist

No. 592840

Who, anon. Sounds like a grade A cow.

No. 592841

Because they're sexually attracted to the person they had kids with, but cling hard to racial supremacy, because they're insecure and need something to make them feel special just for existing. Some of them make weird rationalizations like "I'm breeding out the other person's race, heh", but it's a huge cope.
I just wish people like that would sterilize themselves. They always end up giving their poor kids awful complexes (and even attempting to control who they date in life).

No. 592842

My mom. Shes always been kind of racist but not in a overt way. She didn’t use to be as bad as it is now but then she just got more and more radicalised after she started believing the q anon stuff. I think after that the algorithm recommended a bunch of white nationalist conspiracies and she’s literally you’re average /pol/tard now. The last time I spoke to her she was begging me to watch Candace Owens and Tucker Carlson so I would ‘understand’ like…

No. 592844

It's called a lack of conviction in one's own belief system, likely rooting in the conscious knowledge that the belief system cannot be proven correct and is inherently contradictory.

No. 592845

File: 1596073670124.jpg (46.73 KB, 500x669, mfw.jpg)

>Candace Owens
Repulsive. I don't know who, on any side of the political spectrum, is fond of her.

No. 592847

I only have the drive to work on my personal projects at night, like after 9pm. I have all day to sit down and work on stuff, yet I feel physically incapable until it's dark outside. This leads to me staying up WAY too late working on them.
I wish I could just flip my brain around into working during daylight hours like a normal person, it's seriously a problem.

No. 592852

I'm gonna take a shot in the dark and say she's an anti-vaxxer too?

No. 592854

Yes and she believes covid is made up by Bill Gates (my dad literally had covid and she still thinks this) to implant microchips in us etc etc

No. 592855

This has happened to me since childhood. I was the only one left out of the elementary graduation online pictures gallery. I had an ugly face (and the visage of a 40yo depressed woman because i was always sad because of childhood problems) and always been super insecure (i even tried to kill myself at 12yo) because of that. I got plastic surgery in my mid 20s, now i look average and Its been a blessing.

No. 592857

Same. I kind of hate that the plastic surgery industry is a thing but it changed my life so much for the better.

No. 592859

Does your mom have much interaction with people outside of the social media? I don't know anyone over the age of 45 that comes to believe in this shit unless they've been out of work for a long time and don't have much of a social circle.

Some older adults really don't understand that not everything they read on the internet is true, and it really doesn't help matters if they have few people in their life to explain to them why their beliefs are retarded.

No. 592860

I started learning a fighting game recently and my controller finally bit the dust (it was acting up before I started learning the game.) I got the replacement yesterday and I was doing a ranked match today and the dpad decided it was going to start acting up and even though I started the match winning I ended up losing because of it. Now the dpad in general is acting up and I'm pissed since its BRAND NEW. I am getting a replacement covered by the controller warranty at least but still…brand new controllers shouldn't be fucking up like that. I only got this one because the other one lasted so long so I was hoping for the same. Maybe I just got lucky with my old one or something. I'm borrowing a controller off a friend till my replacement comes which is super nice of them to let me do.

No. 592861

No she has barely any, she hates social interaction and was a homemaker/stay at home mom and wants to stay one. I don’t know if anyone can really explain to her because she thinks every news source, every academic institution etc is run by the Kabbal/deep state or whatever and doesn’t trust anything that disproves her theories. She only trusts what she thinks are ‘unbiased’ news sources aka q anon YouTube channels with 1.7k subscribers

No. 592863

File: 1596075531184.jpg (100.59 KB, 500x375, 1342503546001.jpg)

I'm not sure if I can even get plastic surgery. My issue is that I have really lose skin around my chin and neck. It looks like I have a double chin even though I don't. I also have a really weak jawline because of it. They'd basically have to sculpt a new chin for me. I don't know if such a thing is possible and if it is I certainly wouldn't be able to afford it.

My bf also wouldn't support me getting plastic surgery and thinks that I just need to learn to "age gracefully"

No. 592866

Kinda sounds like her racism is stemming from a combination of trust issues and consuming media entrenched in beliefs that tend to espouse white supremacy.

Idk why but I get the feeling she's not even the white one of your parents kek

No. 592867

She is the white one but I do think her beliefs stem from that other than actual hate but she says a lot of extremely hurtful and insensitive things and she’s become so obsessive over it she injects it into every conversation with me. Idk I hope she just loses interest herself over time because I don’t think there’s anything more I can say to her that would change her mind.

No. 592871

Anon she sounds super toxic tbh. Espousing racist views when your own daughter is mixed race is fucking disgusting. You're not responsible for changing her mind. If anything, I would start calling her out on her bullshit if you feel up to it. If not, you might have to consider going low/no contact with her for your own well-being. You don't deserve that kind of treatment. I hope the rest of your family is more supportive than she is.

No. 592875

Thankyou ♥ I think you’re right, I didn’t speak to her for a few months and my mental well-being and just overall quality of life improved so much during that time but I can’t help feel guilty doing it

No. 592884

I understand. I had to go very low contact with my own mom for a while because she was too unstable/drinking a lot and couldn't stop snapping at me over nothing and it was getting to the point that I would get a sinking feeling of dread in my stomach if she called me, or if I saw I got a text from her. I felt bad about it because she was going through a lot at the time, but I had to do it for my own sanity. It was literally so bad that my physical health was suffering. She's calmed down a lot since then and I've been able to talk to her more regularly. Your mom might come around some day too. In the meantime, she can go fuck herself, and her issues shouldn't be yours too.

No. 592885

God anons I hate my family so much. I keep crying myself to sleep every night.

No. 592888

Swallowing your misery when you look at yourself in the mirror every day is not what "aging gracefully" means. Aging gracefully is looking your best at any age, sometimes that involves a doctor's intervention. You can't age gracefully if you look like a Walmart regular or a saggy leather bag from tanning too much.

Also, what I think of every time a man tries to tell a girl what to do with her own face is that reddit post where a man is seething because his much younger gf is beautiful and her family calls him old at the dinner table so he throws out her skincare to "teach her a lesson".

No. 592890

Ahh I’m sorry you had to go through that, that’s exactly the same way I feel - whenever I see she’s called me it gives me this feeling of dread and I can’t focus on anything else the whole day because of how draining and depressing talking to her is and knowing I would have to call her back and having hanging over my head would make me so anxious. I’m so glad that things with you and your mom are at least somewhat better now!

No. 592891

While I agree with you on a lot of this, part of the issue is that I don't technically hate what I see every time I look in the mirror. The issue is mostly with photos. I hate who I see in when I look at myself in photos something like 90% of the time. Also this is all intensified if my self-esteem is already suffering for other reasons.

I do think I'll at least invest in some dental work and see if that makes a difference. I actually used to like my smile is the sad thing.

No. 592894

Yeah that all definitely sounds like a sign that you need to go no/low contact with her. I know it's not easy but you'll feel so much better in the long run for it. People like this also tend to instill a sense of guilt in you from early childhood. Try to remember that when you feel guilty in the future for not talking to her. Also ask yourself if you'd accept this type of behavior from a friend or a partner. It really helps to put things into perspective.

No. 592898

Some patient went to my dad after self diagnosing himself with something and asked for a specific treatment for his condition, my dad said that he didn’t believe it would be the best treatment and he didn’t feel comfortable doing it and offered to refer him for a second opinion, and the patient literally is now threatening to kill my dad? He is in a gang said that he will have someone come and kill my dad next time he goes to work at the hospital. The police spoke to him and he is still threatening this. Idk what to think or how scared I’m supposed to be it’s so bizarre.

No. 592902

I hate going to bed, I'm neglecting sleep. I wish it were 5am already so I could be awake and have it feel normal and nice.
Also the Devil himself made acrylic yarn

No. 592917

File: 1596081424361.jpg (60.2 KB, 1024x928, EEzQ_RFXUAAUZ2v.jpg_large.jpg)

>having extremely bad luck with men
>friend suggests paid dating services
>their rates fucking suck but she insists she's had great luck on it back whenever
>sign up
>see likes and messages but can't view them due to pay barrier
>fork over $100 when curiosity gets the better of me
>all unoriginal and uninspired messages from some of the most unattractive and boring dudes I have ever laid my eyes upon
I paid over $100 dollars for a website to tell me I attract subpar men. No, no, don't worry. I've already fetched my shoes and wig to match my clown face right now.
At least I have months advance to ruminate on this terrible choice.

No. 592932

what site made you pay $100 for exclusive features?

No. 592941

Very cool that I stopped hating my nose just in time to start hating my wide and round jaw.

Also very cool that my face morphs right in front of me even in photos. Exhausting!

No. 592948

I'm the anon from earlier that hates the way she looks at in photos and I feel this so much. I'm sorry we're both retarded like this.

No. 592951

This is so spot on. Men are like 50% children: irrational, extreme and easily influenced and 50% animal: amoral and instinctively driven. They believe what is easier for their little brains to wrap themselves around, rather than the truth. Irrational, shallow little beings.

No. 592952

Kill yourself

No. 592954

I don't know why I'm laughing so hard at this

No. 592981

things are going good for me rn but i keep thinking about my ex and how he treated me. im over it but i cant stop thinking about it from time to time. i feel like a third party looking back at my life during the time i was with him

No. 592991

File: 1596089810142.png (542.02 KB, 660x600, squeeze.png)

i miss my dog

No. 592995

This is my third day waking up with a completely sore neck and I can't turn my head in any directions. Body, gimme a fucking break

No. 593000

I only come to this site when my mental health goes downhill. Today it's one of those days.

No. 593001

I hope you'll feel better, anon

No. 593019

I look like a fucking freshman in high school and I'm sick of it. If I was a stranger and came across my instagram, I would think that I was 16-17. I have curves, I dress my age, wear makeup, everything, but still somehow look so young. I want to look MY AGE and actually feel sexy.

No. 593022

Are you short and/or flatchested? That would be responsible for a lot.

No. 593023

It's so gross my ugly pickme roommte bought home a guy. I told her she isn't allowed to do that. And she has no self-resepect.

No. 593024

>t. neetlita

No. 593026

I can smell your jealously from here. And your piss bucket.

No. 593027

Jealous of what? Being single and having no self esteem?

No. 593028

Nta but it's a pandemic going on, I think it's understandable for anon to be skeeved out

No. 593029

Why do you care so much who she has sex with? You in love with her or something?

No. 593031

what if the roommate brought over a guy who had covid?

No. 593032

I'm so sick of you guys. Idk if it's new users but you guys suck at identifying bait and especially repetitive bait from the same anon. I feel like I'm in the twilight zone.

No. 593035

Idk why I keep thinking my family might get their shit together and manage one normal birthday get together. They’ve fucked it 27 times before and today was not gonna be an exception.
It’s not like it’s the same day every year with 24 hours heads up, not is it hard to be at home and turn on the kettle. Nobody’s asking for a lavish meal or gifts or a parade..just..be at home for twenty minutes.

Gotta love that the exact same people who routinely do this are the same ones who get mad and shocked when you say you don’t care about celebrating because the day is not special anymore. What is the point of a family that chooses not to make twenty minutes available to you on a day they insist is important?

No. 593059

File: 1596099548139.png (297.09 KB, 720x682, hrbbehdbbfhebdb.png)

It's literally advertised as a way to hide that you're cheating on your girlfriend and it's enough to make me never be 100% loyal to a man, ever again. I will fuck whoever I want because clearly men are not faithful and the whole fidelity meme is just a way to repress and control women and create a narrative that we deserve to be punished for being human.

No. 593060

File: 1596099631621.jpg (22.81 KB, 517x541, 1594826123091.jpg)

I'm sick of people telling me to stop feeling bad because I can't find a job easily, it's not my fault, I shouldn't let it get to me and ruin my self-esteem, etc. like that's gonna bring me money somehow and help me find my own place and pay my food and bills. Give me a job or shut the fuck up.

No. 593065

omg same especially if we're in the same field and they got a job straight out of school. Like yeah it's fucking easy for you to say because you're not in my situation. I

No. 593071


This is coincidental because I'm trying to figure out a way to tell my friend that she needs to get a job before 6 months or we can't let her live with us anymore.

Except, I somewhat blame her because she had a job and was just too retarded and "unmotivated" to keep it after she moved in with us.

So now she doesn't have it and is whining about groceries. Bitch I'm not letting you stay with us rent free and paying for you to live.

She's the only autist that understands my autistic behavior and I don't wanna lose her but it's getting irritating.

Get a damn job bitch.

No. 593072

My friend has some serious protagonist syndrome. Obnoxiously self-deprecating, self-pitying, and self-aggrandizing, patting herself on the back for doing the simplest things when the results are always mediocre i.e drawing, writing, like she wants to be praised JUST because she wrote or drew something or is interested in a particular hobby. All the boohoo depression jokes are so embarrassing for her age. It's a little sad and it honestly drives me up the wall lol

No. 593073

Holy shit, you put that into words so well. I am in the same boat, anon. I am afraid of going through the same grief I experienced when some of my loved ones died, even though it's inevitable. I hope we can move past these feelings one day.

No. 593075

I really want to go home. I moved overseas to be with my partner but I really miss my country and family. I don't know if I'm being ungrateful for my situation. I feel incredibly limited in what I can do and find it difficult to be my own person whilst living with his parents. My license expired now too and I feel like garbage for relying on my SO for transport everywhere. He hates doing things too so I can't really go shopping without feeling bad for it. I don't want to be stuck anymore. I'm really tired of the same 'routine' everyday and doing nothing productive. I love him so much but I hate being in my early 20s without a growing career or education. I've been in this same BS for a few years and want the cycle to end but I can't tell if is a product of me being mentally unstable. I don't know. The shit thing is that if I was to go home, I would feel terrible for doing things because we'd have a terrible time difference and I'd miss him too much. Idk.

No. 593079

My bf just told me he'd dump me if I ever got Botox.

No. 593080

as if he'd notice. men are blind

No. 593082

You are not alone. This often happens to people because at night it's far more peaceful and there are no distractions, and therefore it makes for a much better working environment.
If you want to get your schedule back in order, keep this in mind. Make it peaceful around yourself - no phonecalls, no chores, no noise etc. If you have a weekend house, it would be ideal to go there when you have a lot of work to finish (this is my go-to solution, isolates me from the hectic city day life so I can focus on work).

No. 593083

Yeah he literally doesn't even know what Botox does lmao. I mention anything related to cosmetic surgery and he freaks out and assumes I'm gonna look like that plasticandproud cow

No. 593086

dump him

No. 593087

>I somewhat blame her because she had a job and was just too retarded and "unmotivated" to keep it after she moved in with us.
I hate that shit so much. I had a friend who was given her mandatory internship on a silver plate, her job was nice and she worked with a great team, her boss asked if she wanted to be an actual employee for at least 6 months after that and she refused because she wanted more free time to play FFXIV, meanwhile I had to look for my internship for way longer than her because I never had to redo a year in university unlike her, I got my internship by applying, I was treated like a dumbass for no reason or blamed for other people's mistakes, and nobody wanted to keep me because making me an actual employee after that would have been too expensive so they replaced me with another cheap intern. After that I looked for a job for months, couldn't find one because I live in a very competitive place and I'm too poor to move anywhere, and she subtly implied I wasn't trying hard enough. I love her but sometimes I wonder how spoiled she was all her life.

People in university were shocked that I couldn't even find an internship as fast as them but don't realize I was too poor to move away from our city or even country like them, that I could go abroad on an exchange program like them, I was also too poor to get a driving licence and a car, etc. and that all of this greatly reduced my opportunities. Then in their shitty fb or instagram posts they say dumb shit like "money doesn't bring happiness" like it didn't help them get their degree or live in their own flats with their gf/bf and get more professional experience. Fuck them.

No. 593097

Thank you sweet anon
I would be your friend if distance wasn't always an issue anon. Perhaps on the bright side maybe having no weird irl but never actually irl friendships frees you up to focus on making friends wholeheartedly. Give the friend finder thread a try, at least it's an experience!

No. 593103

Call the cops on him

No. 593105

Did you even read her post?

No. 593106

Call the cops on him

No. 593108

Oh okay anon

No. 593109

I'd dump anyone that injects poison into their face out of vanity

No. 593128

File: 1596111128074.jpeg (41.29 KB, 640x651, iworried.jpeg)

i'm very worried for my 13 yo brother who struggles with mental health issues. he's about to start middle school/jr high school in a couple of weeks and has 0 motivation. the corona lockdown has taken a toll on him and he has refused to do homework and been isolating himself. our parents also said that he has started to avoid large groups of people. he sees a therapist, but my parents are kinda dumb and don't know how to properly help & motivate him.

have any of you struggled with the same things as my brother? what could someone have done to help you? how do i motivate him? my brother is a very bright and kind kid and i would hate for this to be a negative turning point in his life.

No. 593139

My friend has started to act busy so he can make me feel like I’m a loser for having nothing to do during the pandemic. Like are you stupid? I don’t feel bad one bit for not doing shit to keep up with you losers that pretend to have lives. It does hurt that someone wants to make me feel that way though

No. 593145

Gang member with Munchausens. What's his ig?
Just got to court and fill out the forms for a restraining order. It's not like your dad is a woman trying to protect herself against the crazy ex, it should be granted.

No. 593147

nta but both the bf and you are pathetic

No. 593150

absolute retard who clearly hasn't been in a real relationship

No. 593155

Have you considered….that your friend is actually busy?

No. 593163

Getting Botox is handmaiden energy but dump your man, he thinks women participating in beauty rat race they’ve been conditioned to are vain whores

No. 593165

My gals, you are me, I am ye. Big ole morphing round fist face

No. 593168

I'm sorry anon. I have some cousins like this too at the moment. Having gone through depression and abuse at that age still doesn't help me figure out how to encourage and motivate someone at that age who is feeling low other than being there for them, listening and frequently telling them how much they mean to me

No. 593169

He isn’t. He’s been talking about wasting hours of his day watching let’s plays of a dumb world building game and how he’s going to buy it and waste even more time. Then I asked to use something of his and now he’s got a million things to do this weekend.I made an offhanded comment about how I kinda miss them and he autistically went off trying to play GameStop employee, finding my perfect game but ended in me saying need to do something more constructive. He got butthurt thinking I was insulting his use of time so now he wants to look busy. He also been visiting people without social distancing so he’s been rubbing it in my face whenever people are “thirsty for his time.” I asked something of him after wounding his fragile ego. It feels like he’s acting busy to make me feel like I’m just another one “thirsty for his time” and that I’m not worthy.

No. 593170

Them as in video games. Sorry for samefag I’m heated because I can never rant about this fucker without looking stupid myself since it’s all such trifling bullshit he puts me through

No. 593175

I feel like im about to lose my partner…not in a break up way but in a suicide way. He's been depressed and suicidal for so long and i've tried my best to give him resources to help him and also suggested him to talk to his therapist or doctor. He also will be going to the military soon which he doesnt want and told me he would kill himself before that even happens. He says he won't do it but my anxiety is just going rampant and crazy and im scared every night and day for him. I really love him and we even agreed to meet and possibly even marry, but im so sooo fucking scared i'll lose him to suicide. I had a partner once who i lost to it…i just dont want to lose him to it. We are in a 1 year long distance almost 2 year relationship i dont feel stress since i pretty much am used to long distance. The only thing stressing me is my anxiety and having those scary thoughts telling me i will lose him. I really do not know what to do, im also depressed and suffer from mental illness so i know what to do in this situation but im out of options rn. I would love some advice, i know that some people on 4chan might suffer too from suicidal tendencies or maybe even attempted it, so what should i do??? i dont wanna end up doing the wrong thing and regret it dearly at the end…

No. 593176

It's a pretty common time for those issues to kick in. I was a shy kid but at twelve when I switched from primary to secondary level school I freaked out and eventually got a depression/agoraphobia diagnosis. I've struggled with those issues for the 20 years since then. Meds can take the edge off but they affect you differently at that age so you need to be closely watched when starting them.

Tbh I wish less pressure had been put on me when it came to school. I was spiraling and all people worried about was my school attendance. I went back to school before I was ready, teens being assholes could tell I was vulnerable and it made matters worse. He needs to feel ok when he walks in those school doors, build up his confidence in advance with some pep talks. It's a tough situation though, expect some ups and downs.

No. 593177

Okay so what I'm taking from this rant is that you think you're entitled to your friends time and you insult his hobbies which pushed him into having to lie to get you off his back. Spending time on one's hobby IS being busy, just because he watches / plays something indoors doesn't automatically mean he is free to drop it and see you anytime you want it.

No. 593179

This is a really serious issue that will soon get buried in this thread. Maybe try to seek out depression / suicide related subreddits and post there? At least you'll have a guaranteed attention of community that has more hand on experience with these things as opposed to some anonymous randos here. You can also contact some therapist yourself asking for advice on what to do.

No. 593180

I agree, try Reddit. I know there are jokes about Reddit being useless and full of wholesome chungus retards but it's still a good place to get varied advice from well meaning people.

No. 593186

You’re right. I don’t respect him at all. He’s an orbiter with an inferiority complex who triggers me when he feels like he can get away with it. I don’t demand his time. He knows he can make me feel lesser because I’m lonely at home. He has ignored what I’ve said to him about what I’ve been doing instead of socializing. We are both into gardening but his plants were shit so I’m not allowed to talk about it anymore. You’re giving a man way too much benefit of the doubt. What I should do is just drop him.

No. 593187

Oh anon I'm so sorry…Be there for him, send him resources. I don't know what country you're in, but if he can defer from the military due to mental health, advise him to do so. If he can go inpatient, he should. Just. I dunno, whatever he can do to protect himself is also imperative. Please reach out to people irl that you trust as well, I'm wishing the absolute best for you and your partner. I'm so sorry.

No. 593190

Then do so? I don't know why you're letting someone that you don't even respect make you feel like shit, I can't relate.

No. 593191

I can’t keep mememing myself into believing that my trauma is character building anymore. What next, drugs or a retarded traumacore blog?

No. 593195

Yeah, what's the point of keeping in your life a person who annoys you so much? Whatever his reasons are, you're free to drop him and never waste your time on thinking why he did or said something. Totally valid choice, just go and be free.

No. 593198

>well meaning people
Redditors are the type who would save their dog over another person. Fuck off with this shit.

No. 593200

File: 1596120005860.gif (243.1 KB, 480x327, mooncycle.gif)

I wish I have a super fast metabolism and smaller appetite! I just want to experience being a super skinny person just once in my life and feel good in my body. I've always been chubby since I was a kid. I wasn't taught a proper healthy diet by my parents. They would just allow me to eat anything and even force my siblings and I to finish all the food on our plate even if we were already full. My parents came from a poor background, so any food wasted is a sin to them. Plus, when I was younger, my aunts and uncles always bring sweets and candies and other unhealthy food whenever they come to visit. Due to this, I develop a love for sweets and sugary desserts.

Plus, my parents also didn't encourage my siblings and I to do or play sports when we were younger. I never joined any sports in school because I don't know how to play any sports.

I also love eating fast foods. When I was young, my parents only got us fast foods for special occasions such as birthdays and other important celebrations. My parents were tight on money during those days, so fast food is considered as a luxury treat. Sometimes, we don't get to eat fast foods for months and had to skip getting fast foods on some birthdays, which my younger self resent so much. But now, once I've grown up and have my own money and independence, I eat fast food all the time (usually two times a week, three if I'm feeling shitty that week). I guess my kid-self is compensating for all the times my parents denied getting me and my siblings our favourite fast foods in the past.

My current lifestyle isn't helping my goal to be skinny too. I'm stuck at a desk most of the time and after work I'm just too tired and lazy to cook, so fast food is the easiest option.

The lowest weight I've been was 48kg when I was in my 20s and during this time I did a lot of walking to and from uni classes. But even when I was 48kg, I still look very chubby due to my unfortunate round and chubby face shape. I still have stomach pooch due to my apple shaped body.

Now that I'm older, it's getting harder to lose or even maintain the same weight. I always mourn the fact that my younger self never got the chance to dress in a cute trendy style. I used to be so obsessed with j-fashion when I was younger but never bothered to give it a go due to being super insecure about my weight.

When will Covid end?! I badly want to sign up for a gym membership. I just want to experience having a nice body and wear cute clothes before I reach my 40s! Aaaghhhh!

No. 593205

Aw anon, you can do it! You know what you have to do. There are unfortunately no quick fixes, but there ARE tons of yummy, healthy foods out there that you can enjoy. Plus, if you're going from doing absolutely nothing, the little changes you make will make big differences!

You can cut out sugary drinks for water or carbonated water, eat sandwiches with turkey and mustard or light mayo instead of burgers n stuff, take up an evening walk instead of no exercise at all, and you'll start to see results in no time–no need to wait for a gym. Best of luck!

Btw, wear whatever cute clothes you want to in your size and wear them anyways. Life's too short.

No. 593214


Thanks anon! I'm trying my best. I actually lost a bit of weight just before the pandemic started. But during the lockdown, I fell out of my healthy diet routine and gained back more weight than before. It's so frustrating! I'm gonna restart my diet plan again next week.

Sugary drinks and desserts are my weakness! I just have to eat something sweet once a day. It's horrible having a high level of sweet tooth. I'm trying to cut down on sugary drinks by drinking sugarless tea though. Still having a hard time trying to stop myself from adding sugar in the tea.

Yes, life is too short. But my brain still feels like I need a perfect slim body to look nice in cute clothes. Maybe I'll try to dress in cute clothes at home as a start. Thanks again for the encouragement!

No. 593220

File: 1596121821205.jpg (49.8 KB, 564x562, 1578247777901.jpg)

I've been talking to this guy for a few months now (mistake #1 of too many) and I feel like he always comes to me whenever he does something stupid like I have the answers to everything. Every time he cries about his ex (a relationship he willingly admits he fucked up beyond repair) he asks me what he should do, even though every time I tell him he needs to see a therapist for it, apologize to his ex, give her the money back, ask her to drop the charges against him. Thanks to his inability to do anything for himself, he went off on her and she finally stopped answering him. When I finally got fed up with it and told him I don't feel comfortable with him asking me for advice because I had feelings for him, he got all pissy and told me if I attached something deeper to our friendship, it was my fault (mind you, he also admitted at one point he did have feelings for me). Last night he woke up late for work and messaged me panicked and asked what he should do. I told him to go to work and stopped responding after that because I didn't think I'd have to tell someone the same age as me basic shit like that.
I do enjoy hanging out with him, but how do I stop being such a doormat? I'm really close to telling him if he values our friendship he needs to get help and stop being a little bitch, but I don't even know if I want to go through that effort. (soz if it's incoherent, I'm just really angry about everything in my life rn lol)

No. 593226

That's awesome! See, you can do it, you'll get there again.

I totally feel you on the sugary drinks/sweets. A trick I've done is have a black coffee instead of a latte with a cookie or single serving of chocolate or muffin, whatever it may be, and the sweetness of the treat offsets the bitterness of the black coffee and it's pleasant. It weened me off sugary coffee drinks so that I can drink black coffee on its own now. Reduced the calories I consumed at breakfast by a whoooole lot, and still get my sweet treats and coffee! I'm sure it'll work similarly with tea, plus it reduced my overall sweet tooth. Give it a try? It may take some time, but I promise your taste buds will adjust and you'll really enjoy it.

No. 593229

My mum always complains about my music and honestly at this point I don't care too much. Different generations, different tastes. I don't get how she enjoys listening to spanish guitar for an hour either but hey. But like why does she comment on it? Just close the door, it's not like I play it that loud lol. Boomers, I swear.

No. 593241

fucking guy keeps stalking me and my friend's socials. I just want to forget about you, fuck off. what are you trying to do.

No. 593271

File: 1596128227628.jpg (84.38 KB, 980x980, FUCKING SAVE ALREADY GOD.jpg)

I'm getting supremely sick of my parents bullshit. my parents are divorced, my mom is trying to sell her house, but can't get in contact with my dad. So of course I have to be their shitty moderator just because I HAPPEN to be dad's favorite child. Now I have to fucking call him later and tell him to unblock her so she can sell her house and fucking leave already. I'm so fucking sick of this shit and everyday I feel even more embittered towards them both. This is why I'm Pro Choice, because if she hadn't had four fucking kids with a shithead alcoholic she wouldn't be in this fucking situation and I wouldn't be here to deal with their bullshit either. Fuck. How do I call him without crying, this day gets worse and worse and I only just woke up. Get me the fuck out of here. I just can't take it anymore. Been dealing with this bullshit for 8 fucking years.

No. 593275

File: 1596128773340.jpg (122.77 KB, 1103x1200, 2453.jpg)


thank you so much for your replies! i appreciate them so much and will apply your advice to the situation. again, tysm anons.

No. 593286

I’m so sick of seeing those posts from boomers like ‘PEDOPHILES ARE REBRANDING AS MAPS AND THE LGBT COMMUNITY IS GOING TO NORMALISE THEIR PEDOPHILIA AS A SEXUAL ORIENTATION!!!’ Like no one from the lgbt community is accepting pedophiles as part of the community or an orientation or promoting it a such. Whenever people say it I feel like completely based in homophobia and reminds me of those alarmist news headlines about ‘the hacker known as 4chan’ or like the momo challenge

No. 593289

>how do I stop being such a doormat?
>telling him if he values our friendship he needs to get help and stop being a little bitch

You know what to do, anon.

No. 593290

Gay marriage was legalised in my country a few years back and it was decided on with a public vote, So many posters were stuck up saying that gays would adopt kids and then molest them if you allowed gay marriage to happen.

No. 593291

Ugh I know that feel, sis. When I was in college I asked a deskperson where I can find the nearest sweet treat (it was college and I didn't know my way around) and it must've been my desperate face bc she thought I was diabetic.

Tricks I have– replace sweet stuff with fruit. I've been making a lot of mango smoothies lately. I don't have cookies or cake in my house, I set the rule that if I really want them, I have to bake them. Sometimes, I buy chocolate chips to ration myself lol.

No. 593296

>I still look very chubby
What's your height?

No. 593298

I'm so sick of Twitter's TOS, being a pedo or zoophile is not a reportable thing, fucking pos of a social media

No. 593300

Tumblr/twitter genderists are fucking insane, you have to remember this and their hijacking of the lgbt discourse. Of course the pedos follow and groom victims when genderists have no common sense. People were posting in support of the trans school shooter ffs.

It really is more of a platform issue, it's easy to find these MAP accounts but twitter and other platforms ignore it for other bullshit.

No. 593315

i can't enjoy music anymore and it makes me so sad. i tried to get into new genres: shoegaze, rap (which i usually hate), lo-fi, dad punk… ANYTHING. but nothing works. i guess it's just depression but even when my depression first sparked at age 14, i was really into music.
i hate losing everything i enjoy

No. 593319

Try escape room maybe?

No. 593325

???? this man is worthless. just tell him the truth about his retardation and if he doesn't want to be your friend anymore after this, then it doesn't matter.

No. 593329

obviously the broader lgbt community is not for that shit, but when pedos hijack language and ideology from lgbt and go unchecked what do you think is gonna happen? there's literal rapists and pedo endorsing figures at the head of lgbt organizations. some of the founding voices of queer theory wrote explicitly about nulling age of consent and normalizing boys love. i'm lgbt but i also don't pretend to ignore the sickos in the community or the people who endorse and platform shit individuals. normie lesbians and gays aren't for this shit, they dont familiarize themselves with the discourse, but this is why gatekeeping lgbt is necessary.

No. 593330

>some of the founding voices of queer theory wrote explicitly about nulling age of consent and normalizing boys love
Sorry if I'm misunderstanding, are you saying these people were in support of it or against it?

No. 593332

We need to restigmatize having mental illness…

No. 593336

Agreed. Alas, it will never happen because mental illness is too profitable.

No. 593337

I understand what you mean and don't disagree but still fucking laughed

No. 593353

Men have it good. They can be ugly and fat as fuck. They can date hot 18-24 year olds for as long as they want. They can live life like man children and arent expected to grow up until like 40, meanwhile women are expected to grow up and become moms before 24.

No. 593355

Pretty much no one except incels expects women to be moms at 24 these days? And I don’t think the majority of hot 18-24 year old women have any desire to date middle aged men, especially if they’re ugly and fat. There will always be some exceptions for either gender like if one person is literally a celebrity/millionaire or if a girl has a thing for older men or a guy with a mommy gf fetish but the average person of both genders usually wants to date someone within their age range. I don’t think most older men have a bunch of beautiful 18-24 year old women lined up wanting to date them. The average 18-24 year old man doesn’t even have a bunch of beautiful 18-24 year old women lined up wanting to date them.

No. 593378

Today my nosy neighbor invited himself to come banter with me. Just a bunch of uninteresting bla bla's over the fence. Eventually he asked me where my bf is and I said he's busy working late. My bf heard me say that and later exploded on me yelling at me to stop oversharing highly personal information about him and that I'm a gossipy bitch or something; and commanded that I never ever say ANYTHING about him to ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!!!

Like wtf idk how telling someone "he's working" is even considered gossip when it's the most mundane boring ass information anyone could share. Plus we're moving out this fucking month and won't even see the stupid neighbor ever again so idk why he cares.

He's been punishing me all day now with silent treatment and idk what to believe anymore. What would even be an appropriate answer to "where's your bf?" then if not "he's working"????

No. 593380

sorry if it wasnt clear, some (not all) queer theorists were in support of pedophilia. focault was an early post modernist and thinker. he is considered the father of q-theory in some aspects, he is cited in hundreds if not thousands of academic sources. he was in support of abandoning age of consent and argued children could have sexual/romantic relationships with adults. Gayle rubin has written about men and boys love being misconstrued by society. when parsing thorugh queer theory, its not difficult to find writings that excuse pedophilia through an academic angle. type in any queer theorist and pedophilia and you will find published articles by many of them defending the practice. here's a pat califa article from 1991:


No. 593387

You have to dump him. Good thing you're planning to move out soon. Unless he is mentally or developmentally stunted that's not a normal nor rational reaction to simple conversations or even things that do upset you.

No. 593397

Why are relationships (of any kind) with other people so damn complicated? All I want is to love and be loved.

No. 593398

My retarded mom is about to buy a gun because she thinks a fuckton of things that aren't going on are going on and has gotten paranoid that her boyfriend is on a business trip. she's going to complain about it, I can tell, and project her vitriol towards her decision onto me. I live with her, I told her we have knives, we don't need a gun, and she's still willing to shell out $400 for a fucking gun. Plus the price of the ammo. That's how much she makes in a week on average. She's poor as fuck on her own. She has no rhyme or reason to drown her entire paycheck. Her right wing paranoia Facebook pages have also convinced her she needs one. I can't help her but I don't make enough money to pay all my own expenses, esp not now, and I know this is going to affect me negatively. I don't know how to stop her.

No. 593403

i hate my piece of shit keyboard sooooooo much
certain keys just stop working and i have to press really hard on them to just force them to work

i've removed and put back the keyboard multiple times and they keyboard willl be fine for a bit (rn kinda) and then just st0p working

to make my situation even better i spilled a glass of coffee 0n my laptop/keyboard s0 n0w my keys are sticky, and my "O" key is acting up sorry

i've 0nlly had this laptop for llike 2 years now so i fee1 bad buying an0ther 1

No. 593415

I feel ya, anon.

No. 593436

Has anybody got tips for dealing with anger problems? Being around my family nearly all the time during this pandemic had made me feel insane, I just feel disrespected and made to feel like an idiot all the time. It’s literally like my throat is burning from holding back angry tears-
I normally just remove myself from being around them, but then that’s used against me for being ‘antisocial’ and ‘can’t take a joke’ and the usual shit. Nobody cleans up after themselves and it’s like I’m a live-in maid, solely there to pick up after everyone. Breathing exercises only go so far when you want to punch your brother in the face!!!

No. 593449

Make like a tree and pretend to be deaf blind and mute. But I mean, just keep removing yourself, who cares what they have to say about it.

No. 593451

I usually remove myself from the situation. Sometimes I leave the house and sit in my car, go for a drive, even if I can't do much of anything. Can cry in my car a lot less judgementally than in my room. But I'll still cry in my room when everyone's asleep.

No. 593461

I've been talking to a friend of a friend and I genuinely believe men are so shit at talking like holy fuck , I came here to have a conversation not to talk to myself, now I just ignore his messages.Kinda pisses me off because I wanted some new social interaction

No. 593470

I contacted a friend's former manager on linkedin a few weeks ago to see if there were any job opening at the moment and she said no but I should send her my resume. I just accidentally opened the tab where I use linkedin an saw that she lied and she hired three people at once. I'm pissed off, couldn't she just be straight forward and say I don't come from an expensive school like she wanted? Stupid bitch.

No. 593473

Have you tried exercise to help burn off some anger? Even something light like a long walk could help, and it gives you time to be away from the environment that’s pissing you off

No. 593509

fuck i can’t wait to kill myself one day. as bad as it sounds, i know it’ll be fine. i’ve lost a few people to suicide and even though the world sucks for a while everyone is ok in the end. nobody follows behind them. they become just a memory. that sounds a lot better than staying.

No. 593532

File: 1596159598408.png (969.52 KB, 750x538, E715FA16-2526-41C0-80F8-3B21FD…)

I’m so incredibly sad, jealous angry and lonely. This puts people off, so I never have a boyfriend or make friends. That makes me even more bitter and sad and the cycle continues.

I’m 29 and still renting. I don’t have a boyfriend. I don’t have kids. I’m so afraid of being a creepy, single middle aged woman working at Walmart, eating microwaved dinners, but somehow I see myself hurtling in that direction fast.

No. 593533

I hate being sexually attracted to men. I can be super horny but basically the moment sex starts, I remember I'm with a man. I remember how men used to honk at me, holler at me and follow me around in their cars the minute I hit puberty. I remember that I've been sexually assaulted more times than I can count on two hands. I remember that even the ones who mean well are bumbling, impulsive and stupid and can't even last long enough in bed to satisfy me. All of this just ruins sex for me, so I don't really even bother seeking it out at this point. They're fucking trash and don't deserve my body.

No. 593536

wtf anon did i write this? my feelings exactly

No. 593540

Yeah this seems to be a pretty big mood around here kek

No. 593541


You realize your worth and refuse to lower yourself to tolerate bad male behavior. I respect you and I thank you for posting.

No. 593546

I'm becoming really upset with how much my mom changes herself to please her boyfriend. She's no longer the person I grew up with. She's completely shifted her political opinions and forces herself to like everything he likes.
I just can't relate since I feel like I have a healthy relationship with my boyfriend in this regard where we'll have our differences in opinions and likes.
I just find it very shameful that she's acting like this in her 50's.

No. 593547

I only have like 2 friends rn and one of them just posted a "girl gang" collage pic of all her closer buddies and I wasn't even on there out of like 7 different girls even though we hang out weekly, if not a few times a week. And my only other friend was in the picture. Ok cool.

No. 593548

My mom does this too. Does yours also become your best friend while single but become distant when she has a boyfriend?

No. 593550

She does exactly! Although in my case she was more friendly with my brother until she completely dropped him once she got a boyfriend.
It's sad, like she can only concentrate all of her attention on one person at a time.

No. 593552

i legitimately cannot be alone anymore since the quarantine started in march and fucked up my mental health. being locked up in my room brought me right back to when i was struggling as a teenager and isolating myself from the rest the world. even now most people that i would consider to be friends don't want to meet up or anything (which is totally fair and honestly a good call) but when i'm alone like this all the time my mind goes to some dark places and i'm scared i won't be able to get out of it

No. 593554

What do you think about when you're in a dark place?

No. 593555

I don't like receiving oral, I get nothing out of it and I would literally prefer to be fingered or have my clit rubbed.
I can't stand the anxiety about wondering if I smell. I have to lay there and fake moan lest I bruise the ego of the person performing it. I feel like I always have to shave because I feel bad for the person getting pubes in their mouth. It's too much mental effort for something I only pretend to enjoy.
While most women glee when they find out someone is gonna be 'considerate' and slobber them down there for ten minutes, all I can think about is the little dick energy and men trying to compensate for it with foreplay due to their ultimately disappointing cocks.


No. 593556

My mom became a different person after getting divorced, and I can't stand it. She's also in her 50s and will change the way she speaks/her mannerisms. Very naive and easily influenced by people she dates and her friends. She's also terrible with finances (got my money stolen) and I feel the same where I feel kind of ashamed and have lost respect for her. My grandma confronted me about not wanting to live with her/avoiding my mom, and tripped out, saying "everyone makes mistakes!!" but she's a grown woman and has repeatedly been stupid.

No. 593558

dying, mainly

No. 593561

This also happened to my mom. She’s in her 40’s though, and abuses prescription pills. Almost immediately after the divorce, she started having sex with a guy who was 20 years old. She obsessed over him. Reverted to what I imagine was her teenage self, and lost it. I won’t talk to her anymore.
She’s gone. That’s not my mom anymore.

No. 593568

I'm spot on in the same situation. She completely changed after her divorce and also has changed the way she speaks to mimic her boyfriend (which is not pleasant since I find him irritating on his own).
I can't wrap my head around it and I assume it simply comes from insecurity.
My mom is also dating a younger man and seems to have reverted back to acting like a teenager. She’ll feign ignorance over subjects so that he can enlighten her with his “wisdom.” She also acts very helpless and passive around him which I find pathetic considering how much older she is than him.
In fact he’ll frequently insult her or belittle her while she sits there silently with a timid smile on her face. It makes me cringe just thinking about it.

No. 593569

Anon that's fucking horrifying what the hell did I just read. Nobody over the age of 25 has any business acting like that. Your mom needs extensive therapy stat

No. 593580

Ever since my first and only boyfriend, I've been so disappointed with oral. My old gf was actually pretty good at it, and it was the only I could get off with another person, but then dude came along and I finally understood why I grew up hearing about women faking orgasms.
He fucking gave my pussy beard burn too, so it'd feel like I was pissing fire afterwards. I still cringe thinking about it.

No. 593587

a guy ive been talking to just told me he's bicurious, do I run now or later???!?!?!?!?!

No. 593591

If you're interested in sexual experimentation, later.

If you're looking for monogamy, get the hell out of there.

No. 593592

why are you formatting all of your posts like a redditor

No. 593593

it's weird because earlier he was saying weird stuff about gay guys. like getting "dicked down" and stuff. makes me think he's just like, fully gay and in denial. probably just going to ghost him, men are replaceable

No. 593594

Because I use reddit.

No. 593595

File: 1596166077628.jpg (78.34 KB, 650x650, 5y6LD2n6WV.jpg)

if i had started exercising when i was supposed to then i would be done by now

No. 593596

but this isn't reddit

No. 593597

Yeah, what??? If I had a guy talking to me like that I 100% wouldn't put up with that bullshit lmao.

Move on and find someone new, plus are you even "dating"? if he's talking to you about stuff like that he's just being overly sexual and probably considers the relationship to be purely sexual or his chance to try a woman out

No. 593598

Wait really?

No. 593599

lol, nah we're just talking. he just asked if i'm interested in women so It sounds like a sissy fetish tbh. i'm just going to stop responding to him, although it is kinda entertaining

No. 593602

Samefagging, being a redditor is not the actual reason but there are several actual reason I use a lot of line breaks:

I'm a developer and functional analyst, line breaks are important. I use them a lot to clarify when one "line" or thought is finished. We use excel a lot for IV&V test script writing.

I also have issues reading full paragraphs, my eyes skip around a lot, so I add line breaks to make it easier for other people like me that also aren't able to/hate reading big chunks of text. And so that I can reread it.

Lastly, coz I fucking wanna.

No. 593606

Bi now gay later, especialllly bottom bitches >>593602
No one asked reddit-chan, you don’t have to defend your honor lmao

No. 593608

Shut the hell up, ugly.

No. 593610

Honestly I find it easier to read than when people write big chunks of text, I don’t get why it bothers people

No. 593611

i was just giving you shit anon, but i appreciate that you took the time to type all this out. that's actually a pretty interesting explanation lmao

No. 593615

I wish I could feel comfortable in my body. I want to sit at home all by myself with my titties out without feeling self-conscious.

No. 593617

Of course the redditor can’t just take a joke >AcktuAlly Ima developer AMA

No. 593618

Hahaha salty bitch.

Can you answer honestly: do you look at yourself in the mirror? What is suppressing you from actually being okay with your body?

No. 593641

I think it probably stems from not being allowed much privacy or personal boundaries as a kid. I feel almost gross about having a body in general.

No. 593671

Suburbs are so ugly and soulless. I just want to be involved in my community and walk everywhere instead of driving 6 miles to the nearest grocery store.

No. 593673

I’m very emotionally and physically needy and I like being around people I love all the time but all of the people I loved have been out of my life for years rip

No. 593676

right? living in chicago, the suburbs are praised for being a mix of fun and homey. I HATE it. I miss living downtown where everything was in walking distance and I didn't have to see ugly grocery store plazas or drive miles to get to the nearest sushi place.

No. 593693

This is so cute, I'd trade in a heartbeat. I live in a large downtown core and it feels like it's crushing my soul. My city is bustling I just have no real reason to join in, wish you were here

No. 593694


i'm from chicago too, but in all honesty i prefer suburb life over getting mugged and my laptop stolen. love the city to death though, just wish it was safer

No. 593695

dammnit. I broke up with my long-distance boyfriend. I was supposed to move to his country for work, but given the corona travel ban and the uncertainty of the future, it's the best choice. I'm sad but I know I have to be realistic about it. I just had so much hope, you know? That's really all I can say.

No. 593698

seeing people mention chicago right now makes me feel nervous and fuzzy for some reason. It's weird knowing we're all communicating anonymously but technically don't live any longer than an hour away from each other.

No. 593700

I’m so sorry anon. It will hurt for a little bit for sure, but I hope you’ll find someone who’s life plans are more compatible with what’s going on. All of us are rooting for you!

No. 593727

Read an article from my country about a girl who got a sex video filmed without her knowledge posted on pornhub, and she struggles with getting them removed because they refuse to answer her. They openly and unapologetically host illegal content, when will we finally be rid of that rape and cp filled pit of hell.

No. 593736

Why is 95% of my Tinder likes filled with uggos? Could it be that I’m an uggo myself who overestimated my overall appearance?

No. 593740

Shit like this makes me sooooo fucking mad, especially since PornHub is trying to present themselves as this female friendly and progressive place. Fuck them, seriously

No. 593742

>PornHub is trying to present themselves as this female friendly and progressive place
Disgusting, that’s literally gaslighting

No. 593753

job application rejected by Target, fuck this shit

No. 593756

B-but anon they planted trees and gave out free premium subs so people would stay at home during lockdown!!!! they're one of the GOOD GUYS!!!!

No. 593757

That makes sense. When I use to go on PH I'd be seeing a lot more obvious female posters in the comment section.
I can't imagine this is going to end well.

Yeah, they're fuckheads BUT don't give up anon!

No. 593758

Drank too much caffeine before bed because I was working the night shift so now it’s very late and I’m going to waste my first day off sleeping in too late

Went outside after work and my neighbor was having a party and one of her drunk ass friends with a juggalo tat Asked me within literally minutes to see my tits - I didn’t hear him at first because there were two other people talking to me and when I turned back he was making excuses for himself saying he has no filter and my neighbor was clearly telling him to shut up and talking over him to shut up and then he said I’m sorry I’m just drunk and I have no filter and lifted his shirt up and went “woo” so I put two and two together

I said nothing because I didn’t want to make it more awkward and had good convo for the rest of the night but fuck that guy he’s staying overnight and there are only two doors in the back of the building and one of them are mine

So I’m also wired because of that don’t want his drunk ass trying to make a move on me again and claim it’s because he’s drunk like scumbag men Always do

Wasn’t wearing makeup, no sexy clothes I literally dress as masculine as I can when I’m not actively trying to meet men so once again, more proof that nothing I do works for very long and creeps are everywhere

I’m watching evangelion fuck everything. This shouldn’t get me so mad, it usually wouldn’t, but it’s embarrassing and I never get the chance to tell someone off

No. 593760

File: 1596184773884.jpg (147.69 KB, 455x442, mike.jpg)

i've been talking with a guy i'm mutuals with on ig for a couple of months. we have several interests in common so texting him is always fun. i don't have any romantic feelings for him and consider him a friend. but lately i've been feeling like he uses me to fill the gf-void in his life?

>we text normally

>he suddenly starts acting cold/dismissive/rude towards me
>turns out he has a date in the near future
>genuinely happy for him and hope it works out, wish him luck
>date doesn't work out and he comes to me for emotional support

this is happening again. yesterday he was pretty cold and somewhat rude towards me, and now he tells me that he has a date. i'm upset, not because he has a date, but because it seems like he "uses" me to get emotional support and validation. i'm not friends with people who are rude towards me and am very put off by his behaviour.

i'll probably just ignore him for now and not bother having proper convos w him anymore. he'll probably assume it's because i'm jealous of him going on a date, but idc about what he thinks anymore. i guess it's my own fault for trying to be friends w a man… oh well.

No. 593770

thanks anon-chan!

No. 593775

I …. can't stop doing my makeup during quarantine. I don't even wear a lot of makeup in the real world but I like doing makeup and transforming my face and it's become a weird therapeutic thing during lockdown. I have used up half of my expensive nars foundation on just randomly doing my makeup only to take it off immediately after. I'm so dumb.

No. 593779

I feel so bad for the way i treated my little sister growing up. She was extremely sensitive and unarguably weird and it really pissed me off for some reason and made her an easy target to take my depression and problems at school out on, and I just made her life miserable for literally years. It was more passive than active, getting annoyed at small weird shit she would do, giving her dirty looks, not wanting her near me. I was a psychopath. I don't know what caused the shift but when I was 12 or so. I have apologized since but I will never forgive myself for making a loved one feel like I hated them just because I was dealing with some dark shit. I hate myself.

No. 593791

i am supremely bored. when will it end. when will life begin again. why's it gotta be like this.

No. 593792

It's a good practice! you'll emerge back to the post-covid world with a perfectly done face.

No. 593809

>I’m 29 and still renting.
Big whoop, many people in this board are not even renting and live in mommas basement.

No. 593811

>I'm a developer and functional analyst, line breaks are important. I use them a lot to clarify when one "line" or thought is finished. We use excel a lot for IV&V test script writing.

lmao are you fucking kidding me?

No. 593816

Why can't I get my stupid ass to stop procrastinating on lolcow and start doing things that will help me evolve? I will pick up a book, read for an hour and never touch it again. I'll decide to start drawing again but end up hating myself because I'm just bad at it. I wish I wasn't such a whiny baby but it never works out in the long run and I end up being stuck procrastinating again.

No. 593818

I wish my older sister wrote this or believed it. She treated me the exact same way, she practically went no-contact with me when I was 11 and we have barely talked since. She would make fun of me and give me dirty looks at anything I said, she would call me a freak and just be horrible to me and I had no idea where it was coming from. I just wanted an older sister who liked me even slightly. It hurts so much seeing people with good sibling relationships since we just don't speak and she still seems to find me weird/freaky.

I know this isn't an advice thread but as the younger sister of a person who did just this, telling your sister your sorry would maybe go a long way. It doesn't mean she will accept it because I certainly wouldn't but from my perspective, it would be nice to know she realised how mean she was to me and it might be the same for your sister.

No. 593819

It looks like you can't get out of your rut on your own. That's totally fine and okay, we all need help sometimes. Have you thought about giving your internet devices to someone so they can help you rationize your time?

No. 593820

Forest is a good app for removing yourself from technology. You can set it to any amount of time and you grow a little forest depending on how long you use the app. I found it helped a lot when I was in a similar situation, you can get it for desktop/as a browser extension as well.

No. 593837

Oh, gosh, thank you for your kind replies! I wasn't expecting that. I guess my boyfriend would help me if I asked him but he spends a lot of time playing vidya as well, so I feel like I need to find another way so I don't end up resentful toward him.
I just remembered that I already downloaded Forest once, I totally forgot about it. I didn't know that there was a browser extension as well - I'm gonna get that now and work out for a bit. Thanks again!

No. 593867

Every month around ovulation I get ridiculously obsessed with the idea of being sexualised and fucked by some right-wing authoritarian dominating guy. It’s so distracting. I constantly have to fight the urge to thirst post. Why am I like this

No. 593875

I get weird urges around ovulation time too. Our bodies truly amaze me sometimes.

No. 593877

after 24 years i think i might be coming to terms with the fact that i'm a lesbian. the comphet doc thing helped a lot. it's scary. i spent a lot of my life being passed from one man to another to 'look after me'. i feel sort of like my entire life is clicking but also i keep trying to prove myself wrong. wow i am very scared.
i always thought id find someone (male, even though i knew i was 'bi') and theyd look after me and we'd live happily ever after but. its finally coming together in my mind that i dont think i could do that. i dont think i can be happy with a man, im not attracted to men. i was just fed my entire life that i needed one to fix everything. fuck dude this is so much.

No. 593879

That doc hits like a fucking brick when your already doubting yourself. I get it anon, youre gonna make it.

No. 593880

i was like screenshotting things that really hit home and then i realized it was nearly the entire doc lol

No. 593881

My standards are so low that a guy reaching out to hold my hand and I’m like WOWWWWEEE HOLD THE FUCKING BREAKS WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE!

No. 593884

Yeah its nuts how much of it just feels so true after reading. This sounds like I dont have a brain of my own but it gave me words and sentences to feelings I've always had but didn't know how to articulate or even allow myself to think about. Crazy stuff…

No. 593886

i definitely understand what you mean! and many thoughts i hadn't even considered were related…

No. 593894


That's actually a good idea. Pair up sugarless drinks with sugary desserts to cut down on sugar intake. Thanks for the tip anon. I might start doing that.


Haha that's so funny. Hope you did managed to get a nice sweet treat.

Yes, I've read the diet tip of replacing sugar with fruits, thing is I'm not too fond of fruits. Never liked eating fruits since I was small because I got bored of the taste of fruits. Plus, you have to cut and prep most fruits which I hate (I'm that lazy). But for the sake of health, I'll try to change my anti-fruit ways. Hopefully.

Regarding setting rules of no snacks/desserts at home, I'm slowly cutting off snacks/desserts in my grocery lists. So that's something.


156cm. I'm apple shape and have stubby legs with long torso. So it's hard to look slim even at 48kg. Fat always goes to my stomach and thighs. It's hard to find proper jeans/pants that fit. Curse my stubby apple shape body!

No. 593906


Haha no worries anon. You're not alone. Let's be a bitter, single middle aged woman together. I do wish there was a commune for single middle aged woman. Check out this inspiring vid. It's so cool that 7 friends are living together in one huge house (even if some of them are married I think?) But I would prefer if each person gets to live in their own small houses but it would be within walking distances.I just prefer that each person has their own private space. But of course there will be a specific place to do activities together though. It would be the perfect and ideal living situation.

No. 593916

ive just been crying 24/7 these past few days over the smallest things. hopefully pms hitting hard and not getting depressed again

No. 593917

Guys are so lucky. There are so many average, beautiful and cute girls with great personalities. Meanwhile the saying pool for women is so bad. Yeah he might be sweet BUT he’s 5’6 and looks like Shrek. Yeah he’s cute but he has bad hygiene and he’s emotionally unavailable. If you don’t look like a model you aren’t good enough for guys who look average or above.
I’m not saying there aren’t shitty and mean women but there are just more nice women.

No. 593919

I want this please. Please I want a commune of women just living anons.

No. 593921

Even mean cunty women will perform niceness to their man more than any asshole ever will for his girlfriend

No. 593926

My girlfriends and I talk about this at length. Lets do ittttt. We all have different skills to bring to the table–weaving and sewing, baking, knitting/crocheting, taking care of animals and a small garden. Let's gooooo!

No. 593929

I wish my mother would fucking make an effort to learn the country's language. You're an immigrant, you intent to stay in the country decades YOU HAVE TO MAKE AN EFFORT TO INTEGRATE YOURSELF INTO SOCIETY. And it's all about language and understanding the customs, that's it. Keep your culture, enjoy life but learn how to communicate. Dumbass is always asking her children, us, to do all the paper work for her. That's not normal. My own little brother is freaking 5 (f i v e) and he speaks better than her!

Doesn't help that she never received an education so she's dumber than a boomer. I'm exhausted.

No. 593930

Kept saying if all my classes were online I’d drop this entire semester, but one of my classes was in person so I was still signed to my apartment. Just paid for all of my classes literally an hour ago cause the bill was due on Tuesday I needed a few business days for my money to transfer, check my email to make sure it goes through, and my in person class just got cancelled today. Fuck this gay pandemic, now I’m living in an apartment that I can’t have guests in and have to get covid tested to live in and FOR WHAT!

No. 593931

Same with my parents, they actually want to learn it though, but make no effort to do so, or sometimes there just isn’t enough time and money to do it. But, a big part of me doesn’t want them to learn English, I feel that I’ll lose something comforting if only having our primary language. I feel selfish and I know I should speak more English to them but I don’t know

No. 593954

Sometimes I reveal too much and have to delete the post. Ugh.

No. 593956

>he's only using me for emotional validation
Hit the nail on the head. He doesn't like you, he likes your attention. The second he thinks he has a chance with a different girl or gets a girlfriend he will go straight back to being rude if not ghosting you entirely.
Sorry, I just had an experience like this with a dude myself but he actually had the audacity to lead me on while he kept trying to see if he still had a shot with the other woman he actually wanted. He was flirty and agreed to plans with me for weeks, but the second he thought he had a chance with her again he pulled back and flaked on me and got real dismissive and rude. Then he blocked me when called out.
These losers are a waste of time.

No. 593958

I keep contact with these men just so I can reject them when they come back. Not like direct rejection and letting them know that I know what they’re doing. I’m not going to be like “OMG YOU ONLY COME BACK WHEN YOU CANT GET OTHER GIRLS”, because then they’re going to just think you still like them and you’re just in your feelings/crazy.

I love when they come back flirting and I say something like “oh I don’t think you’re my type but I’d like it if we could be friends” and they ask me what’s my type then I’ll say “I really like super handsome guys ya know?”. It bruises their egos so bad. I know it’s childish but I love it. Oh, and when you start leaving them on read they fucking hate it lol

No. 593960

our college didn't give us any info on whether next semester is going to be online or not. if it turns out to be online i'll cry. my grades already suffered so much and i genuinely wanted to raise my gpa to 3 :C

No. 593964

File: 1596213035490.jpg (114.32 KB, 1152x2048, 51552696_10218598788745300_723…)

>“I really like super handsome guys ya know?”

I wish I could be like you, anon. The closest to that kind of fun was when I had Whisper installed

No. 593965

This is good advice anon, I'll have to remember to do this. Wish I had done so with my last. Thank you!

No. 593972

I've recently realized and acknowledged the fact that I got a serious spending problem. Every time I get my paycheck I feel a strong compulsion to spend it all. In the past month I've ordered food and other shit almost every single day and now consequently I have less than half of one monthly payment on my bank account. When will I ever start behaving like a responsible adult? I fucking hate myself.

No. 593973

If you want to be a petty queen making guys who do this think you’re not attracted to them hurts them way more than you getting all emotional and letting them know that you know they’re using you as an emotional tampon. They’re playing a game with you, they want to see how shitty they can treat you and you still give them sex/attention becuz it makes them feel like a chad after Stacy paid them dust…

No. 593974

Anon, I misplaced my credit card for a bit (it was around my apartment and I knew that, so I wasn't that concerned) and it helped me cut down on my spending a lot. Try "misplacing", hiding, or giving your card/s to someone else and just using cash, or look at your bank account every day–it's not the healthiest habit, sure, but if you NEED to be mindful of your spending, it might help. Good luck!

No. 593975

I usually like dweeby guys but when I’m ovulating sometimes I jones out over corny stereotypical “manly men.” About a year ago I was shopping at Smart & Final and some firemen, in full uniform, came in to buy a bunch of crap in bulk, and I just about lost it. I told my friend about it and after she was done teasing me about it, “Excuse me, hot firemen, my panties just spontaneously combusted! Can you whip out your big hoses and put out my fire?” she was like, “For real though, are you ovulating?” And I was, I hadn’t even thought of that, so that’s how I first noticed the connection.

No. 593986

File: 1596216363535.jpg (100.99 KB, 731x1000, 1391201844843.jpg)

nta, but thank you. This was the kick in the butt I needed. I just froze my credit card and cancelled Netflix. I've been getting coffee/takeout and dumb shit, I think stress spending spiraling from the fact that I lost my savings due to being furloughed.

No. 593988

File: 1596216491748.jpg (26.5 KB, 512x512, D9xQYJXXoAM7bdz.jpg)

Yet another job recruitment (I've given up on looking for a graphic designer job for now, so I'm looking for a normal job) and once again I ruin it by being fucking anxious. I was given an offer to read and after a moment had to list all of information there was. Started stuttering and forgeting words. There was literally only me and the other girl. Be it information (that I mentioned like 80/90%) or asking about my own personal hobby etc. The other time my legs started shaking and I had to avoid any eye contact to not make myself even more nervous. I fucking hate myself and have been looking for job for months now.

No. 593989

>find cute boy on okcupid
>we talk, have similar interests, he's not far from me
>add each other on discord and flirt madly
>stalk his twitter
>he mentions a wife in 2017
i am fucking CACKLING he's either cheating on his wife or he's divorced, either way i'm no longer interested but i want to find out and tell her if he is still married, he's only 25 so god knows what happened if they are divorced

No. 593991

I'm op, thank you for the tips, kind anon. I'm also going to uninstall the food delivery apps to get rid of the temptation. I luckily have enough canned food to survive until the next paycheck. I've always been prone to self-sabotage but this is a new low for me, I'm really bummed out

No. 593992

i'm so fucking sad at the fact that i will likely never be able to get help for my mental illness. i'm just destined to be this way forever, unless i magically come up with a fuck ton of money. it's almost fucking criminal that i can live in such a 'rich' country and yet i can't access treatment. i'm so tired.

No. 593994

What kind of mental illness do you have, anon, if you don't mind me asking?

No. 593996

that's terrible, anon. based on your reply, you seem like a smart and caring person so it's his loss.

i wonder if he may have liked me at some point, i think he has tried to make me jealous by frequently sending me screenshots of girls he has matched with on tinder. i'm always like "good luck, she looks rly cute!" and he seems to get somewhat annoyed by that reaction? he probably wants to feel validated by having me desperately lust after him ew.

anyway, thank you for your reply! i'm now sure that "ending" our friendship is the right decision. i'm a very calm person and am not going to be dramatic about it, i'll just ignore him or reply with " ok [thumbs up emoji]" to every message he sends me. i did this once before, but it made him message me even more so i hope it doesn't backfire. pray for me, ladies.

luckily things in my country are opening up again and i'm going to be busy this fall, so i'm not going to miss talking with him due to boredom. he was good corona entertainment tho.

No. 593999

>>593994 ptsd, but from decades of abuse.

No. 594010

anon, don't beat up yourself over this, it is perfectly normal to be nervous on job interviews. the only people who don'get nervous at all are psychopaths

No. 594020

Just realized the reason why energy drinks have little to no effect on me is because of my metabolism and I dunno how to feel about it. I def don't wanna guzzle down like 4 cans in a day to get the effects either
1. Yay for having a fast metabolism
2. Something please give me a spike of energy

No. 594027

Lollll someone I was obsessed with has been in my DM’s for the past 8 months. Funny how they played the “I’m not ready for commitment” card then, now I leave that motherfucker on read and they keep trying and lurking my stories kek feels good

No. 594028

I never share places or things I like with guys I’m dating or fucking because if they like it, I’ll start to associate these things with bad memories of them or if they make fun of it I will start to associate these things with embarrassment. I used to love Billie Ellish and I Was dating a guy who would always gush about how gorgeous she is in front of me but acted like I was disgusting now I can’t even look at her without remembering that. So, now if I really like a certain thing or a place I never share it with anyone. I just come off as a blank and bland piece of paper.

No. 594030

i do the same anon, i don't want them to taint the memory of things i like

No. 594031

Rejecting these guys actually feels better than getting to be in a relationship with them. Nothing makes me feel better than rejecting a scrote who treated me like I was ugly, annoying and that he’s better than me.

No. 594036

It really pisses me off because I can’t even look at Billie now without feeling super disgusting and hideous. It’s not even jealousy, i just associate her face with feeling bad because of him kek
Everytime I look at her I think of all the horrible rape tier sex etc

No. 594079

While I’m happy that the Epstein thing was finally brought to light, it’s has certainly attracted some retards who insist that everything must be a grand conspiracy for child sex trafficking. From Pizzagate to Qanon, to Wayfair. I do think a lot of shady shit goes on behind close doors but the lengths people go through to insist that some mundane detail is actually code for some pedo sex trafficking ring. Get a life.

Also, most of these people don’t give a shit about these children anyway. They just want to be self righteous and to be better than everyone else because of their “knowledge” or desperately want the side that they hate to be caught doing something terrible.

No. 594094

I really hate when writers take an already abstract concept and twist it into something even more deliberately obtuse for the sake of sounding either smarter than they actually are, or because they just want to circle jerk the English language and show off the fact that they know how to use a thesaurus. I find this to be really pretentious and even if the writing is otherwise good, it tends to turn me off from wanting to read any more of the person's work.

It also makes me feel self-conscious about my own writing style, which tends to either poke fun at these things, or tries to present them in a way that is actually digestible to the reader.

I feel like the fiction market is overly-saturated with writers who are only writing for "smart" people. I also might just actually be a dumb person, who knows.

No. 594097

Ughhh my boyfriend's narcissistic sister is coming over and he's not here, so I have to pretend to like her and babysit her kids for 2 hours until I leave for work. Fuck my life

No. 594124

So I’m 19 and moving out this summer. I’m helping my friend pack her stuff cause we’re moving in together and her mom has been letting me stay here for a bit in the meantime since my family doesn’t have room for me atm. I’ve been really grateful to them and have been babysitting for them on my days off and doing chores as a result since I don’t be pay rent. I’ve known her for 10 years by this point so I’m close to them so it’s not that awkward. But every time her grandma comes over to help I get yelled at and insulted, called lazy, stupid, ungrateful, etc. I was told by my friend that it’s just how she is but I can’t help but feel pain when I hear these things. Her mom is not like this at all, it’s just her grandparents who are mean. Also her mom wants me to visit for holidays and has called me her “bonus daughter” so she really thinks of me like family, but her grandma sees me as a freeloader. Her grandparents visit often and have even stayed here while they bought a new house so I constantly had to tiptoe around them. I had to spend the last 6 hours bending to her grandmas whims and constantly yelled at and got called stupid and a bunch of other insults. Her mom can’t do anything about it and I understand why but I don’t know how to cope. She’s visiting again on Monday and I have to babysit so I can’t just leave while shes here. Sigh idk what to do.

No. 594143

Kind of got into a fight with my sister at her house. I’ve been working through corona and had to deal with losing the job I wanted, getting my first college degree at 28 - which took forever because I was working and doing school at community college. Recently I realized that if I continue there’s a lot I can’t do until I have a bachelors degree, and because of corona and my age there’s a bunch of lost educational opportunities as well.

So I’ve been feeling like shit and it’s hard to talk about anything with her because she’s a SAHM. It’s like she lives in a completely different world. She was going on about Facebook posts today and I made a comment disagreeing with what was being discussed. She said that all I do is talk shit about whatever subject she brings up (anti-vax, epstein, face masks being unconstitutional). I responded that I’m always negative because I hate what’s going on with my life right now. So she started yelling that I can do whatever I want if I actually try to, which I’ve been doing but it’s taken so goddamn long it’s like no one takes it seriously. I told her that I want to stay in school and she asked if I was planning on staying in school for the rest of my life.

It feels so goddamn bizarre that wanting an education isn’t taken seriously by my family, like I’m the crazy one. Why does getting a wage that will allow me to live without depending on someone else have to seem like an impossible dream.

No. 594159

File: 1596235972425.jpg (88.87 KB, 933x907, D7MowldU8AEqG-h.jpg)

The art threads are so fucking boring they make me want to cry from boredom. Holy fuck it's the same bullshit every fucking page. Lolicon debates, karen debates, terf debates, it never fucking ends. Why are the art threads so dogshit now?

No. 594160

because the scene is dogshit?

No. 594170

Anon that's such a shame, clearly there's nothing to do because the situation won't change. Just focus on doing the house chores correctly and being respectful and educated and try to not care about the insults, it's not entirely personal, she seems like a bad person all together. Good luck and I'm happy you're moving with your friend and that you have a second family!

No. 594176

what is ideal art drama anon?

No. 594180

I wish it was more acceptable to cut out shitty family members. Her grandmother sounds terrible.

No. 594210

They were always dogshit except for the advice anons give

No. 594225

"So I'm regretting my current situation. I have 2 girlfriends (no sneaky shenanigans, we're all dating), one I've been with for 3, almost 4 years now (girl A). The second..a few months (girl B). Now earlier in the year I moved out of where I was staying with girl A (lets call her Kate) and invited girl B (let's call her Jade) to live with us. That way we can split rent and live with our partner to hopefully strengthen the relationship and friendship. Kate and I have been working throughout the pandemic but Jade isn't because the mall closed. Jade then, soon after moving in with us, was unexpectedly gone at a friend's place for like 2, 3 months. She comes back then leaves again, then comes back and is still gone. This entire time, Kate and I barely hear from her. In fact we almost never hear from her, which is bad considering we're dating."

I asked a scrote what's bothering him and that was the response. Here I am suffering from loneliness and depression and a scrote is crying becuz he doesnt have more than one gf. How the fuck do these dudes even get girls to be in poly relationships? They're never that good looking.

No. 594227

kek so the girl ghosted him, obviously the unicorn and he's worried about that?

No. 594232


And I met him on tinder and he mentioned nothing about being in a poly relationship. Dating for gen z and millenial women is pretty much a black hole.

No. 594239

Lmao disgusting

No. 594258

File: 1596244254012.gif (200 KB, 220x165, 3C61785C-45E8-405F-978F-D867B5…)

Being really petty, but I think people on twitter & other social media sites begging for attention is pathetic. Like “uwu omg guys!! stop giving me so much love~~” and similar things make me cringe. I know I should just ignore it because it’s inconsequential, but it’s just feels /so/ desperate that it evokes disgust lmao. Like yeah, I get it, it’s nice to get attention/praise for putting your work/art/whatever out there, but when it crosses over to faux cutesy uwu fishing-for-attention shit, just stop. If your entire worth is based on internet strangers approval and likes then ew.

No. 594272

Anyone kind of just givin up on ppl? It’s 100% not my fault why I don’t have friends. It’s not like I haven’t tried. No one wants to be around me so why be upset about things I can’t change.

No. 594275

I had to leave my bf who I still love because he was abusive and emotionally manipulative and now I relapsed into bulimia. I feel sad and lonely and lost

No. 594281

God I hate people who can't properly take care of their small animals whether it be fish, hamster, or rats. Everyone I see who has them treats them horribly because they're small and normalized as basically a toy.

Some girl on my Snapchat has 3 rats. They live in a tiny ass cage with shit caked mesh flooring and no bedding whatsoever. I can't imagine how fucked up their feet are. Now she wants to get ferrets too. The smell of her apartment must be horrific because I doubt she regularly cleans her cage. It'll be all the more worse with her getting poor ferrets.

No. 594291

my dad's going to yell at me tomorrow because i'm a retard and emailed my college's housing coordinator after the due date for getting a new room. he wants to see the emails then and i used retarded unprofessional grammar. i spend 12 hours a day watching retarded youtube videos, my life goes to shit and i forget important stuff like this, then i feel bad and immediately go back to escapism. i feel like i have no control over my life or myself. i'm pmsing too which is worse.

No. 594295

This is kind of normal believe it or not. Figuring out "basic college" things takes time. I forgot to submit my own personal insurance freshman year so that I could be waived from the mandatory campus health insurance and was charged 800 dollars. I sobbed for hours.

No. 594296

And by forgot I mean I didn't even now mandatory health insurance was a thing in universities. I didn't read through my emails closely enough to find out about it.

No. 594299

Thank you for the reassurance, that sounds awful. I am going to get a room but I always look incompetent in front of my dad and my family makes fun of me, so it's more of a personal issue. And because I always look like a helpless idiot to them, I give up and stop caring even more.

No. 594301

lol i also struggle to read through my emails, with covid so much was being sent i didn't keep up

No. 594306

Just went ahead and deleted Tinder for the second time. I'm just so tired of how shitty guys are on those apps. I matched with a guy that had zero info on his profile (while I had a lot of hobbies and interests) because I though he looked cute and was tired of swipping on everyone (I try to match only with people that include information).

He then gives me the typical "ask me" when I tell him that I don't know what to talk about since he had zero info on his profile. And this is coming from someone that initiated the conversation first! I hate the mysterious act, fuck off. Others didn't even try after just saying "hello".

What's the problem with people? It's hard enough to meet someone that has interests similar to mine on those apps (all fuckboys, hippies, which it's fine but not my style) and once I swipe on one that I think may be interesting they don't even try to keep up the conversation.

No. 594307

My friend agreed to us hanging out this weekend and when I asked him "Saturday?" to confirm a day, he hasn't responded. An hour ago, while I was sending him something along the lines of "just say yes or no", he was online then suddenly not. Fuck, man! Just a yes or a no!! I want to plan out my day in case Saturday doesn't work.

No. 594310

I don’t feel 21, I dont have the maturity and life experience of someone in their twenties, I just started college because i had to take a few break years due to not being in any mental condition to go to college, honestly im lucky my family didn’t section me.
I feel like im mentally stunted at 15, I can’t socialize or talk with people my age without making a fucking mess of myself and coming off as weird, I hate this shit so much, I feel like I lost years of my life after that stupid breakdown, and now I don’t know how to catch up.

No. 594311

Plan your day and if he responds with a time that conflicts, tell him so. He had plenty of time!

No. 594318

File: 1596250903869.png (575.71 KB, 732x987, A883F635-1199-47AE-82E7-983D5A…)

I’ve been playing P5 for a while now and am at the point where I’m watching the cutscenes after the final battle and I’m crying! tears! actually crying! because I’m going to miss this stupid feline so much! I got so attached, unreasonably so. I can’t express how sad I am that I won’t get to see this fucker every day (in game) anymore!!! I don’t know why I let myself get so emotionally invested but I did! and I’d die for him! and I don’t want to finish the game because I don’t want to say goodbye!

No. 594321

I have 3 friends who have all said that they love our friendship because we are "so close that don't have to text everyday or see each other all the time to know that we're still friends and love each other." At first I was flattered by this and thought it was a testament to our bond but I'm now realizing I am the "just in case" friend. I'm asked to hang out when no one else is available. They wish other friends a happy birthday, post them on their socials, hang out often, go the extra mile for them. Nothing for me. Ever. Just say you need me around in case your more interesting friends move onto someone else.

No. 594340

File: 1596256435512.jpeg (18.84 KB, 474x241, download.jpeg)

God fucking damn it. How the fuck do you tell your parents you think they raised you wrong and did basically nothing right for you? I grew up super sheltered, and so of course, I have no real life experience and I'm too scared to leave. But of course, its all mockery at my house. No matter fucking what, I could even just complain about the sky being bright, and my mother would come along and say "well if you only had a job…." And other stupid fucking bullshit like "omg why are you eating that? Ugh I just wish you would eat healthy food and not that shit" so its MY fault that you never allowed me to get a job at a younger age? Its MY fault that you never gives a single fuck about how I feel? everything's MY fault and I deserve to be mocked constantly for my failures. Ok. Wish I was fucking aborted.

No. 594351

i love my friend group but i hate how they are so shitty at splitting the bill.
they pretty much go all out - drinks, shots, appetizers. i don't have any of it except for 1-2 beers and my entree, but i still get charged way more than i should.
i don't want to say anything because i don't want to sound cheap

No. 594364

Lol. I cried too. Dont worry, you'll still see him everyday, when you start your save+

No. 594377

my nose/profile makes me want to kms. it's so fucking ugly its insane. i'm poor and the possibility of a nose job will literally never be possible unless i hit the lottery or something lol. like i actually genuinely want to rip my face off, it's not fair. it slightly triggers me that trannies get thousands of dollars of donations to get "facial feminization surgery" which is an oxymoron in and of itself considering they still never look feminine afterwards, but a real woman would be torn to shreds for asking for donations based on strictly their appearance kek. not sure if i hate my appearance or this planet more, honestly

No. 594382

Update on this lmfao. The grandma had us cleaning all day. Made me cry several times and I babysat until after midnight. Today is my first day off in a long time so to have that ruined really fucking sucks. I tried to talk to her mom about the things that were said to me and she said “I don’t agree with her method, but it will make you stronger” “you’re too thin-skinned” NO, IT WONT TF? I just came from an abusive household where my step-dad would say similar things and even get physical with me so to all of a sudden be forced back on that kind of environment is making me shake and lose focus. It’s 4am now and I’m still sick to my stomach and crying.I have 2 weeks left of this before is over and then I’m supposed to go back to College. I feel so defeated and like I’ll never be safe.

No. 594388

I have such bad stomach issues, holy smokes. I would do anything for a fully functioning body- even if that meant suddenly waking up in a 55 year-old drunk man's obese body. Fuck it, as long as I could eat food again and not feel like putting a gun to my head

No. 594402

File: 1596277007942.jpg (Spoiler Image, 110.23 KB, 938x672, IMG_20200801_120440_774.JPG)

I fuckin hate my arms like what the hell is this, they're not even the same length or width. I just wanna wear sleeveless dresses and not feel like a gorilla. Please don't ban me for male I swear I am just a disfigured woman.

No. 594403

just found out one of my close online friends had a failed suicide attempt. i'm extremely upset over this and don't know how to cope. i tried texting him, but am unsure whether he even has the same number (we use another platform to communicate, last time we communicated through mobile text messages was in 2018). he posted about the suicide attempt on a social media platform, an added that he's going to take a break from all social media in general to focus on his mental health. so there's no other ways to contact him, really.

my worst fear is something bad happening to my friends or family so i'm feeling extremely anxious rn. while i'm not trying to make his suicide attempt about me, i can't help but feel like really bad things are bound to regularly happen in my life. every time i let my guard down and let go of my anxious thoughts for once, something terrible happens.

No. 594419

I am the same anon. I've always had bigger arms and I hate them.

No. 594421

I can't stop replaying old fights with my mother in my head and wishing I had stood up for myself more

No. 594422

Fucking same with other people/family and sometimes I even invent drama and injustice situations that never happenend. I feel like I had a fucked up childhood but I mannaged to bottle all this shit up so my bain is sending me messages like that

No. 594423

>I even invent drama and injustice situations that never happenend

No. 594431

I fee the opposite. I wish I were nicer and just listened to her even if she was wrong.

Instead I tore into her feelings when I was at my lowest and now I feel like that has completely ruined her image of me to the point where I still love her so much but she barely wants to talk on the phone to me. I'm so retarded.

No. 594441

File: 1596287381319.png (10.77 KB, 640x480, fuckmylifeforever.png)

Fuck. I just realized that my body pretty much looks like this. I'm short, fat and super top heavy. I used to be skinny until like four years ago. I always had a broad chest but it wasn't as obvious as it is now that I'm 20 kg heavier.
Now I have a huge belly and tits, no ass or hips. My shoulders and my stomach are fucking huge. I've struggled with losing weight for years now, I lost 10 and gained them back and some.
I feel like I'm doing okay right now but there's literally no clothes that don't make me look like a grandma who already went through menopause 30 years ago until I've lost at least 10 kg. FUCK. I look like an ogre. I really hate myself right now. I just want to manage losing the weight and keeping it off this time.

No. 594444

>I even invent drama and injustice situations that never happenend
Same. I read that book on emotionnally immature parents and really related to it even though I never seeked validation or love from my parents, which was probably because I had watched my siblings and seen this was not how things were done in this house. I feel like the complete lack of emotions in my family fucked me up big time but it was never a source of conflict because I never tried to go against it or realized how much it hurt me until recently. I kinda wish I had fought with my parents about it but seeing how they are they would probably hold a grudge against me if I had.

No. 594452

Kinda same anon although I try hard to keep trim. Work on improving your posture and wear bras that fit and flattering clothes, that already does wonders

No. 594479

In college there was a dude in my group of friends who decided to go on about how small his penis. This was while we were at a restaurant eating dinner as a group, mind you. All the other girls gave pity "aww, it's not that bad, size really doesn't matter" comment with obviously awkward inflections. He also wold go on about the whole "key and lock" analogy when discussing why women shouldn't sleep around. He blatantly said stuff like this while being thirsty for literally every girl in the friend group. I hated going to any group outtings if he was involved. But my friend would pressure me into going because she would never want to be the only girl in the group to show up if he was there.

My friend got into a messy breakup at some point and fuckface swooped in to get her drunk on the rebound. The group ended up breaking apart due to the ensuing drama. Ugly people are the worst.

No. 594480

I hate being a woman so much.

No. 594481

Concise vent, same!

No. 594497

currently vomiting and shidding simultaneously thank you period

No. 594505

I really feel for you anon, I get period shits but vomiting from periods sounds fucking rough, Sorry that you go through that

No. 594510

I keep having intrusive thoughts about stupid/mean shit I did when I was a teenager

No. 594518

I don't have a single male friend who isn't socially inept. And yet I can't stop being friends with them because then I'd feel bad.

No. 594521

you ever feel like youre not in control of anything & yet youre still incredibly overwhelmed b/c yr still responsible for your own happiness, despite being struck down at every turn each time you try to influence your situation?
im big crying about it today. everything is such an incredible struggle & I'm tired of struggling so much

No. 594524

Oh god I'm sorry you have to go through this anon! Hope you don't have cramps on top of it all.

I remember how almost every month I fell asleep on the bathroom floor because the shitting and vomiting exhausted me and my room was on the second floor. I hope you'll feel better soon

No. 594536

File: 1596303544162.jpg (40.83 KB, 512x421, unnamed.jpg)

haha tfw your parents constantly invalidate your feelings and mock you for your failures 24/7 weehee goteeeeem

No. 594538

Been listening to this on repeat while seriously considering killing myself.

I'm just tired of being depressed. Nothing is working out.

This is exactly what I feel… you put it into words.
Hang in there anon.

No. 594542

Everyday just gets worse and worse and I know the future won't get any better and I'm just ready to go I've been ready to die for ages now

No. 594545

You can't save me you little shit, no one can save me if everything was wrong from the start

No. 594587

What's the name of the book? I'm going thruogh a pretty similar situation and for whatever reaosn I feel really stupid assuming that I was emotionally abused only now

No. 594596

I just found out today that one of my instructor's kid fell off a balcony and pass away at a very young age. People said that he was devastated for a whole year, he's ok now…I just wanted to give him a hug…

No. 594597

same to you. we've survived 100% of every rough day so far

No. 594605

>Been listening to this on repeat while seriously considering killing myself.
No no no, please stop doing that. I am not depressed but when I listened to that album I got some VERY dark thoughts. Listen to something upbeat. Focus your thoughts on something else. You can get out of this

No. 594612

My parents are always comparing me to my sister. I just had my 21st birthday and my dad said he’s worried about me because I’m not as successful as her and they came to this country because of that. At my age, she had a well paying job 60k and bought a new house. I just graduated college and I feel proud of that but no one in my family ever celebrates my accomplishments because she was so much better than me. They constantly say things like “oh you’re so different“ in a backhanded way and I literally overheard them saying they expected me to fail and drop out of college before I was about to move. I’ve been a good student my whole life and worked all through college but I’m still not good enough to them lol it doesn’t help that I don’t have a job (hopefully I get callbacks) and don’t get any unemployment so I can’t afford to move out or anything so I just feel like shit every day

No. 594636

>Just turned 21
>At my age, she had a well paying job 60k and bought a new house

What in the absolute and utter fuck. Was she prostituting herself on the side? Selling drugs? Have a sugar daddy?

No. 594640

I'm sorry. My parents compare me to my cousins who are very successful and shit, I still live with them.

I read your post and I had to think of Helga from Hey Arnold.

No. 594642

these customers came into my work and picked up something that didn't have a tag, then brought it up and asked me if we do outright gift wrapping without them having to purchase a bag and tissue. I said no and showed them to where you could buy tissue and a bag for us to wrap. I assumed because we do gift wrapping that it wasn't one of our items and I felt like such an idiot when they came back up with it like they wanted to purchase it and I didn't recognize it was one of our items and said "wait is this one of ours" and they looked at me like I was a fucking asshole retard. I'm gonna go hang myself because I feel like I was inadvertently rude assuming it was something they'd bought elsewhere and not a new product due to it not having a tag fml

No. 594643

Haha no she just had connections through school/university and did a bunch of extracurricular business events that she got awards for. We knew the guy who was building the house since it was in our neighborhood so that was mainly just luck that she was able to get it.

No. 594645

Seriously what’s her job exactly

No. 594648

I was going to say, if she wasn't a drug mule or selling her body, she must have just been extremely lucky. Making 60k at 21 is fucking unheard of in this day and age.

No. 594670

Sales consultant. This was like 9 years ago, she got it straight out of college and it was long hours at a pretty big company.

No. 594683

Nta, but listening to music that is too upbeat and happy can also make you feel worse, especially when it reminds you of better times. Personally if I’m in a really awful mood but don’t want to just lay in bed and cry, I’ll listen to podcasts/audiobooks etc. bc those will not cause such an emotional reaponse.

No. 594695

Going to the lesbian thread on /g/ is so fucking depressing. Just bunch of bi women with boyfriends and husbands. I don't know why the concept of being lesbian is so hard to understand, it's about being attracted to women only. No wonder no one takes lesbians seriously. Anyone can be one apparently if they feel like it.

No. 594701

wait, you mean literally one conversation with one anon that started and ended 2 days ago? bit overdramatic.

No. 594703

it's not just one, if you scroll through the entire thread.

No. 594713

… oh okay, now I'm seeing it, I think I didn't notice because this thread is just so slow. Sorry!

No. 594730

File: 1596321409433.jpg (229.34 KB, 627x720, 1494275219669.jpg)

Anons my brain is legitimately trying to kill me. My anxiety is unbearable and just never fucking ends. It's been almost a decade of this shit. Of constantly fixating on things to worry about, developing random phobias, feeling like the world is going to end at any moment, feeling completely detached from reality and my body, etc. Nothing feels real and I can't stop contemplating my own mortality. I'd say kill me, but I'm actually terrified of dying.

Sometimes I come down for a little while and feel a bit relaxed, but then my brain is just like "BUT WHAT IF ALJDLJFLKDJFLKDJLKF" and we start the stupid cycle all over again.

No. 594731

Get used to using your phone calendar, anon. Calendar and Alarm Clock are your college best friends.

No. 594732

no probs

No. 594738

I wish my sister wasn't such a pick me ass bitch. She's constantly saying shit that sounds like it fell out of r/thathappened, thinks she's sooper speshel for being pale and having big lips - which people "always" ask about being fillers. She's pretending she's bi now despite being completely into men and mentions it all the time, especially when no one gives a flying fuck. Thinks her style is quirky and unique but looks like every other bitch on the block. Every conversation we have blows my mind with the amount of bullshit and lies she spews.

No. 594741

How old is she? This all sounds very annoying but also like things that most people tend to grow out of past the age of like 25

No. 594745

She's 19 and it's only getting worse. I honestly hope she does grow out of it but it's been getting worse lately with fake stories of being "bullied out of school for being bi" (not true, we went to the same school and she left because she was such a two faced prat people stopped hanging out with her).

No. 594751

is your sister tnd? lmao that sucks

No. 594782

19 year olds are almost universally unbearable. I wouldn't be surprised if she grows out of most of this by the time she's 21.

No. 594917

File: 1596339704544.png (3.65 MB, 1280x1599, 1596304050464.png)

anon, don't say that about yourself, you're clearly a woman! you look like one of those hot buff ladies that dudes drool over on /fit/ lol. pic was the easiest example i could find, it's honestly a really nice look imo

No. 594925

post her in personal cows please i love laughing at people like this

No. 594930

I'm scared of telling the person that I love about how suicidal I am almost constantly, how I want to kill myself all the time, and how I just feel unworthy because

1.He's not someone who can take dark subjects very well
2.I feel annoying, stupid, too depressed
3.My previous relationship was so fucking toxic that I feel guilty and ashamed of anytime I want to kill myself, whenever I would tell my ex gf that I wanted to kill myself she would escalate things into oblivion and many times I felt like I shouldn't had told her
4.Feels abusive to just come out and say hey I'm a suicidal lil shit idk (like when people suicidebait others for them to not leave them… only that I find that super gross, so I avoid it)

No. 594956

smashed my elbow so hard my hand started burning then went numb and tingly and has been for the last 15 minutes wtf

No. 594964

This guy at my work that I don't work with always says hello to me. That's fine, I always smile and say hello back because I'm a normal person and should be allowed to do such. Well this week he says "hello honey." Mind you he's not some geriatric that calls all girls honey. He's younger than me. And he said it super creepy and gives a rapist vibe.

So now I don't look at him and ignore him or will give a curt "hey." Anything else I should do? Or is there something that one can say in situations like this? I made a disgusted face as soon as he said it, but I was too shocked to say anything.

No. 594968

I hate shit like this, I'm sorry it's happening anon. If I were you I'd straight up tell him to fuck off because I'm very confrontational, but you could always just ignore him until he either fucks off or asks you what's up. If he does the latter, I'd let him know I don't want random patronizing assholes to call me honey. And then maybe heavily imply he's ugly or something cause I'm an ass. Hope it works out, anon.

No. 594970

i cant sleeeeeeeep because my legs are literally throbbing. i'm on my period and my thighs are burning like a motherfucker. is this shit normal? i usually dont deal with this ahhh

No. 594980

My worst cramps are in my thighs during my period but it's always been that way for me. Using a heating pad works well for that pain in my experience. Sorry anon!

No. 594992


Aww no I hate it when that happens. It's the worst feeling ever. Feel better anon

No. 594995

This girl I regard as an acquaintance is using a group chat (used to organize a small get-together that already happened) to vent her personal issues and other problems she has going on in her life, asking for mental support. I honestly could not care less because I personally don't regard us as friends, as cunty as that sounds, and I really hate the feeling of being forced to reply/say something kind in return or be seen as a heartless unfeeling bitch by others in the chat. Just…Why the fuck would you post this shit here? Just message your actual close friends privately or make a separate groupchat.
We just happen to run in the same circles and see each other 3-4 times a year tops at parties and shit, I don't want to pretend to care about what you're going through because I barely know you. It might also be because she generally annoyed me anyway.
Now I'm stuck giving insincere replies while everyone showers her with "awww poor babby" replies. fuckkkkkkkkkk

No. 594998

I stg the only reason I don't kms is because my labrador-esque sense of loyalty and self-harm-levels of work ethic have made me pretty popular at my workplace and they would be really really upset if I died. some of them would definitely cry. I can't do that to them!

No. 595018

I wanted to destress and improve my flexibility so I decided to try Yoga from youtube videos because lockdown. Yoga with Adriene got recommended a lot and honestly I just don't like her. I will finish her 30 days series because I'm stubborn but I don't enjoy it. She talks so much and she talks in such a florid way, when you're bent into downward dog its hard to tell what she wants you to do next and she talks so much its distracting when I'm trying to concentrate on the breathwork that is supposed to be a core part of yoga. I'm trying to time my breathing with the movements and the 'flow' I'm apparently supposed to feel gets interrupted.

All that would be manageable though had I not read the comments on her Day 1 video. So many optimistic people that said her video was approachable and that it was tough but they would keep going. Day 1 was incredibly easy. There are bizarre jumps in difficulty and poorly communicated modifications that start from day 3 onward. I know its stupid to care but if you struggled with day 1 no way could you do the other videos and I just feel bad for people who thought Day 1 was representative of the rest of the program especially since there were so many hopeful comments from older people. I can only ever post this in the vent thread because of how stupid this vent is, ugh. I'm continuing the series because I'm stubborn and just want to stick to a habit but there are too many points where I get pissed off with her and the people that recommended her. I'd never recommend her beginner series to an older person or someone with injuries or zero fitness background. .

No. 595022

I can’t stand yoga instructors that chatter, but down dog (the app) has worked well for me. Really, really customisable practices, costs a fiver a month for the full version, everyone has an Australian accent but you can make it so they don’t yammer on, very chill.

No. 595028

I might try this. I legit got angry at the video. That is like the complete opposite reason why I got into yoga in the first place.

No. 595036

I got PMS and I feel like everything is pointless. I also have insomnia, so I've been awake since 3 am and so I had plenty of time to ponder upon the pointlessness of my existence

No. 595054

I would recommend Yoga Upload with Maris Aylward, she explains things really well, doesn’t blabber needlessly and has a calming voice that does not get annoying when you want to focus.

No. 595058

This is the main thing I hate about men. If a girl doesnt like a guy back she will just leave him alone. If a guy doesnt like a girl he will still try to use the girl for sex and wont just leave the girl alone.

No. 595061

^^^ this, I was disgusted when I heard about Russell Hartley talking about 'stables' and having women that he uses for sex w/o telling them and letting them think they have a chance w him…that's horrid.

No. 595063

I've had many guys I've liked who told me they arent interested in me try to use me for sex. I've even gone as far to block them for them to make new numbers/accounts to try to come back and manipulate me for sex. Its sick.

No. 595066

File: 1596372504354.jpeg (9.47 KB, 250x214, 67159FD4-A73C-409A-8DBE-5F9172…)

Fuck fuck fuck im genuinely freaking out over college, im supposed to have digital illustration this semester and we WERE going to use my college’s fancy ass cintiqs.

But now we aren’t going back till next year and I DONT EVEN OWN A MOUSE, IMAGINE A DRAWING TABLET, how the fuck am i going to learn ANYTHING online if i dont have the most basic tools.

My college is also offering no fucking support, their stance is basically “well that sucks but we cant do anything”, and i feel like im not learning shit in comparasion to my rich classmates that can get all the tech they need.

Fuck I dont want to quit because i would have to sit on my butt doing nothing august 2021 but I basically dont see another way out, im not fucking learning anything.

No. 595069

Maybe you can ask if you can borrow/rent one of your college's tablets? Perhaps your professor can put in a good word for you as well? Or ask around if you can borrow a tablet from one of your classmates?

No. 595072

We are on a red quarantine phase still, their building isn’t even fucking open, even the library is online only now.
I doubt my classmates would want to make a tablet go around between households in this situation either, plus they kinda need their own to do the schoolwork, our workload is pretty heavy.

Honestly fuck art school, they should’ve just closed down.

No. 595089

If it helps, xp-pen has basic ass tablets for under 50 usd that have pretty decent reviews. You could open cheap traditional commissions if you have traditional supplies on hand and try to get enough money to get one, if you can't borrow money from your family/parents for a tablet?

No. 595090

File: 1596375352774.gif (4.65 MB, 600x600, 4203669C-D058-48CC-BDCD-FC854F…)

I’m 25 now; I started working when I was 16 and never finished my country’s equivalent of high school (I think? I mean, I missed the last three years of the school that would have qualified me for college, it’s hard to explain since it works a bit different here than in the US). I decided to do it now, but I will be 29 when I finish. Most of my family thinks I should learn a profession instead, like dental technician or zookeeper or something (these were their actual suggestions). That I’ll be too old when I finish school and can go to university (even my damn 98-year-old grandma said this).
I’m so torn. I know it’s probably more reasonable to learn a profession than to go to school for three to four years for a diploma I should’ve already gotten when I was 18, but I don’t want to end up regretting it, since I feel like I’d do well at uni. But learning a profession now would make me more independent and at least I’d have something solid to work with, rn I only have work experience and the “regular” school diploma.
I just see myself becoming and working as a dental technician and realising at 35 that I could’ve studied a creative field to do something more fulfilling or that I could’ve studied to become an engineer to earn around three times the salary of a dental technician.
I’m also scared that I’ll fail though, that I’ll get sick of this city (poorest city in my country) and drop out of school again just so I can move someplace less depressing. I probably wouldn’t but it’s hard not to be at least somewhat afraid of this scenario.
And I’m so disappointed in myself. I wish I hadn’t dropped out of school when I was 16. I’ve wasted all my best years and now everyone is fucking sick of me being the only person in my whole extended family who isn’t successful. I feel like a big and utter disappointment.

No. 595091

File: 1596375523993.jpeg (27.68 KB, 629x488, 1EFEC868-D2CA-4D1F-8DB9-DC9FAA…)

The major issue is that im not american so tech gets taxed at insane prices, the cheapest decent tablet i can find is like 450 of my currency.
I would have more luck making that money out of prostitution than comissions, my parents are also completely fucked financially because my grandparents had corona, im basically just screaming out my frustation because i have no options except dropping out.

No. 595095

I'm sorry to hear that anon, but I still think you should try reaching out a bit more before giving up and dropping out, since it's a really big decision. Do you think any of your friends would have an extra tablet they could lend you? It's not unlikely because I draw as well and I keep my old, functional tablet as a back up. Or, is your art objectively good enough to open commissions? do you have a big enough following on social media for you to start a crowdfunding campaign for you to get a new tablet? Twitter is good for this. You could always offer to draw something simple in return as thanks after you receive the tablet if you feel bad e-begging. I also learnt art in school while struggling with shitty finances at home, so I really hope it works out for you, anon.

No. 595113


Sorry in advance, part vent part response

Lately I've been feeling the same way as you anon, but about yoga in general. I realized I'm tired of all of the forcibly sincere chattering from YWA. Usually it distracts me through holding poses that are tougher which is helpful, but lately with everything happening the chattering is not enough. I just don't want to hear any more contrived shit about loving yourself, I just want to stretch.

So finally I was like, well why not just stretch then? I found a bunch of MadFit videos on youtube just for deep stretching and they're great. Skip 2 minutes of explanation and the instructor just guides you, no extra shit.

Still, the mindfulness skills Yoga with Adriene subconsciously teaches you are really worthwhile, just just have to let yourself actually believe them which was the hard part for me. Tl;dr so you don't have to follow a year's worth of her vids like I did:

-If it hurts, back off slowly. It's a video, no one is judging you
-You'll get there eventually. If you're asked to touch your toes but can only reach your knees, then touch your knees. With a little bit of work every day eventually you'll reach further, there is no rush.
-Contrived but, find what feels good. Give lots of different stretches a chance and if you find one that doesn't work for your body, just switch to one that does and don't worry about it. You can re-join a video or pause it at any time to explore a stretch and modify it yourself.

All of that has been really helpful in letting me follow stretch or dance videos I have no business following. Instead of looking at the MadFit instructor's body and crying bc I don't look like that, (which pre-yoga me would 100% do) I'm like damn ok I'll get there one day when I'm ready and if I put in the work.

Anyway, good luck anon I genuinely hope you "find what feels good" for you.

No. 595122

My weight problem is out of hand to the point that I don't even want to see my fiance again until I've lost weight. I feel so embarrassed and disgusted having gotten to 80kg from 65kg over the past 6 months, I don't want to see anyone especially not him. It has nothing to do with him- He's extremely loving and supports me getting healthy and still treats me the same way as always, but I just don't want to be close to him at all. I feel like I don't deserve all of the shit he spews about loving my body no matter what, every time he touches me I just cringe at how massive and squishy every part of my body is. (Except my cup size, which is the same and I hate it, what the fuck)

I can't decide if I should talk to him about it (I've been distant with him lately, so maybe) or if this really isn't his problem so I should talk to a friend. Maybe both.

No. 595125

I could have written this exact same post. Try not to feel too negatively about it and remain optimistic that you will achieve your goal.

No. 595128

Aw thanks but really I have muscle but no definition, only in that one gorilla arm for some reason. I sure wish I looked like that… but I felt like shit yesterday and decided to go on a diet so I might get some muscle definition? Thanks for assuming the best, that's a very good thing to do I really mean that.

No. 595130

File: 1596380464427.jpg (93.32 KB, 1300x1065, my ptsd flashback be like.jpg)

im so SOoRRY brioche
I'm actively getting drunk right now because yesterday I accidentally killed a baby sparrow and just thinking about it makes me cry im so sorry

>2 days ago

>see cat running after something
>go look and see its a baby sparrow
>really small but it has feathers
>name it Brioche and take it inside to protect from cat
>when I find one I generally hide them outside and they still get fed by their parents
>Force my cat inside and put Brioche in my garden hedge
>go check after a while and its obviously not there anymore but I hope he hid
>think about my small sparrow all night

now, yesterday morning

>look from window and see Brioche hanging out in my garden near the place I first found him

>scared of cat noticing
>big brain idea
>there's a nest in my roof gutter, if I put him on roof through bathroom velux window, he'll probably go in nest and get raised by the other sparrows
>pick Brioche and run to bathroom
>open window and put it on roof, hoping it'll hop to nest
>Brioche dramatically rolls off the roof
>run downstairs and outside
>can hear faint bird cries
>see it spread on the ground, his neck all loose
>it doesn't even cry anymore, just breathes rapidly
>hold brioche in my hands and cry
>Brioche stops breathing and dies in my hands

I killed him, i shouldntr have touched it,it would have been fine and healthy and alive.
I thought it wouldnt fall, I thought even if it did it would have beaten its little wings a bit and not got hurt at all.
I still visualize its little body rolling off of the roof

I'm so sorry. F for Brioche, king of the sparrows, taken away from us too soon because of a stupid piece of shit human garbage.

No. 595136

File: 1596381316103.png (83.09 KB, 666x703, chrome_HahXy9QU3O.png)

tumblr sperg inc
I'm so sick and tired of seeing those "we must include POC" in cottagecore posts.
I love old timey things, nature and cooking, and its something thats my guilty pleasure on tumblr. most of the times, its not even text posts. Just videos of walks and forests, general aesthetic images. nothing else.
Since recently they started to post bullshit like pic related and I am just…. Cottages and gardening is an asian/caucasian thing. There is no need to include people that literally have no connection to it towards it. they literally worry those girls that are into sewing and flowers that they are white supremacists? what the fuck man.(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 595137

Why do you feel cottages and gardening are a white and asian thing?you dont think black people like gardening?lol

No. 595140

I hope this is copypasta because I am traumatised

No. 595142

anon you did your best with the very little you know of birds. donate to the animal ambulance or a shelter so other animals can be saved/helped instead of brioche if that makes you feel better idk

No. 595147

Wasn't the narrative last year cottagecore was racist because it reminded people of slavery lmao

No. 595152

I’m native American, dress very similarly to cottagecore and lead a pretty ~fittingly aesthetic lifestyle~ and this woke white commie bitch once went off on me for something really similar to this. I talked about how fun it would be to live on a farm and work to survive. I didn’t hear the end about colonialism and how I’m wishing for it to be reinforced by living a “white lifestyle” like foh. Go use your sock as a coffee filter

No. 595158

“anti cottagecore” people and people like the one in the pic you posted (and tbh the vast majority of “sjw”-ish people on tumblr and twitter) absolutely reek of American imperialism to me. Idk how to put it into words but they just do, and it really rubs me the wrong way.

Also, imagine going so deep down the rabbit hole that you’re paranoid that teenage girls posting pictures of cottages and flowers on tik tok and tumblr is actually a racist white supremacist masterplot lmao. It’s not like this is something exclusive to white girls either, literally anyone can wear aesthetic clothes and post pictures of flowers and shit.

No. 595176

I should have really done that, or even just let it alone tbh.
Who even has the idea to put a bloody bird on a roof and not expect it to fall? seriously who the fuck is this dumb apart from me oof

No. 595187

thats such a fucking dumb post holy shit do people think they need to include race in everything (dont answer that i know its true on twitter and tumblr)… cottages and cottage related shit is for everyone you dont need to "decolonize" shit just enjoy what u love people like this can fuck off

No. 595188

historically black people did not start living in cottages till the slavery thing happened. they had huts, but not the typical european aesthetic cottagecore is aiming for. I just feel its unfair because instead of encouraging their own culture, they force others into something they have culturally nothing to do with.

i am not saying "black people are not into gardening and sewing and knitting" but more that its usless to try to promote a very small minority in a community that has nothing to do with identity politics.

there is a whole thing about how cottagecore is a white nationalists wet dream, but in reality girls are just drawn to those things more than not. and there is nothing wrong with that, regardless of race.

i guess my whole point is that i dont like politics in every single sphere in my life including cute aesthetics.

No. 595190

It's not even black people saying cottagecore is racist or whatever the fuck. It's self hating "woke" white girls who won't stfu

No. 595191

And what do asians have to do with roaming around the forest dressed like a European milk maid and living in a cottage? Like you said its eurocentric and based off your argument then asians shouldnt be included either.

No. 595192

>cottagecore is just a cute esthetic!
>it has nothing to do with history!
>but black girls shouldn’t care about representation because cottages are European
>whites (and cute Asians) only pls

No. 595193

you are saying exactly what i was trying to say (not native speaker etc)
like if a POC girl is posting cottagecore while never showing her face, fine, you will most likely try to share it out of the appreciation for the image. but there should not be some sort of satisfaction from "thehe, im posting a bunch of POC girls in a garden! I'm such a good person"

Its the same thing like sex workers getting upset that nobody reblogs their pics as much as during black history month. if you like how a girl looks like, repost it. her skin color should have nothing to do with that.

No. 595198

its not even the POC girls getting upset about representation. just leave the people to do whatever the fuck they want, if someone does not reblog POC, like the anon above said native americans, then they are the problem.
its like saying the LARP community should have more black people because they want it to be more diverse, instead of actually caring about people picking up the hobby themselves and taking pride in it.
It all feels very forced.

No. 595199

Sounds like those early 2000s lolitaa who would ree that only asian and white girls can do lolita because it's their culture. How lolita has anything to do with east asian culture still confuses me.

No. 595201

I've been so lonely lately that I reached the point where I became jealous of a tradthot (who also hates women n is highly competitive around them) being around 5 of her men-only friends that do nothing but play videogames and sexualize her. wth. jealous only for her having friends no matter how cringy they are.

No. 595202

File: 1596387226584.png (96.44 KB, 681x674, chrome_O3o9qbS864.png)

"you shouldnt dream of X bc it might be colonialistic" lmao
I dont even know why this pisses me off. I'm not even white.

No. 595203

I don't think that's what anon implied but okay

I really hate these woke lil shits that try to +1 each other with their wokanda posts spewing the most retarded shit ever to see what sticks. Back in 2012-14 there was also a little resurgence of aesthetics based on forests and the country life on tumblr, and I had a blog like that. You didn't had to engage in stupid discussions like this if you didn't want to, just post cute jam toast and lavender flowers with lambs in the background and that's it. I am of course pro inclusion and everything, but every time I see this kool-aid being shoved into everyone's mouth I can't help but feel disgusted. I feel like everytime they're like ~we must include the poor POC~ they're actually segmenting the population and making things worse instead of letting it be enjoyed by everyone no matter what race they are. I don't see how posting pictures of all kinds of people enjoying flowers and dresses would not be inclusive already.

No. 595205

Anyone can enjoy cottagecore. You missed the point of that anon entirely.

No. 595206


> Cottages and gardening is an asian/caucasian thing. There is no need to include people that literally have no connection to it towards it.

Anon. Pls.

No. 595207

It's like saying "oh we must include aboriginal in X aesthetic more! Like and share for aboriginal lollitas!" or something insane like that. If someones into it, fine. but there is no need to virtue signal for brownie points that will not do any good, to anyone.
I dunno, how does a POC feel about posts like that? Isn't it condescending as fuck?

No. 595208

I'm so tired of american-centric views on everything.
Other countries have farms too.

No. 595209

That was poor wording from my side, I meant there is no need to fish for brownie points and force people into things that are not interested in, personally and culturally.

No. 595211

This is just karma for how white people and asians treated poc trying to get into cutesy subcultures in the past. I remember there being lolita/ulzzang Myspace groups that would not let you join if you were black.
I really dont care if white/asian people are mad that inclusion is being forced based off how they have acted towards darker skin people within cutesy subcultures in the past. Its just karma…

No. 595212

Yeah, I guess that makes sense. I wasnt around for those times, to me its natural that whoever the fuck can take an image, with their face/body or without, and they will get appreciated. regardless of their nationality, as long as the content is good, they will get recognition.

No. 595213

I am a POC >>595203
And I think it's disgusting.

It's not about not including THE people, or THE RACE of people, it's about not having to cater to everyone's stupid sensibilities if the fashion is just about gardening and not a political statement, because woke pieces of shit have to make EVERYTHING political and take the fun out of it for "muhh inclusion!!" when they themselves are white pieces of shit with savior complexes. They don't speak for me.

No. 595214

How is it forcing though? They just want to see people who look like them doing cottagecore and I see nothing wrong with it.

No. 595215

this is a dumb take lol although thats not right, youve reached the conclusion that its karma??? kek

who is this absolute idiot writing long posts about farming and colonialism… a person reblogs a few pics of baby cows and a meadow and youre telling them that they gotta understand whatever farming methods if u decide to follow some sort of aesthetic? who even says people who reblog that stuff are going to farm like holy shit this is so dumb

No. 595217

Karma doesn't exist, racists and non racist people do however.
I agree with your point though.
If they want to see people in cottagecore, why must they push the idea of making everything culturally appropiate and therefore gatekeeping things? Why can't people into cottagecore just dress in cottagecore dresses without having to worry if they're evil evil colonialists? White people with savior complexes who post woke shit are more colonialist than girls with braided flowers in their hair lmao

No. 595218

People are just super sensitive now because in the past if you were black/darker skin you literally were banned/not allowed into these subcultures.

Now poc feel they need to make a huge stink to be included.

No. 595219

those posts are virtue signaling that basically say "There are too little POC in our posts, we must diviersify. otherwise I feel like a nasty racist and I can't live like that!" and it puts a bad mouth into my taste. Just thinking back on the cottagecore/grandmacore I have seen in the past, I'd say that the representation was about equal to the general racial percentile of the online user population. Are POC more likely to be stuck in a city because they gravitate towards there rather than lush forests and grassy plains? Yeah. But that's not the problem of cottagecore, thats just a socioeconomic problem that has nothing to do with that.
Again, thats the same thing with POC sexworkers. People will reblog a couple POC sexworkers during black history month and literally not talk about it for the rest of the year. It's just asspatting and I hate it.
As pointed out, its not even POC that make those posts. It's always, or 99.99% times its a white CIS girl.. And if the anon isnt larping about being POC, they most likely feel feel like posts like such are condescending.

No. 595220

Oh anon, there's no such thing as cis.

No. 595223

>1. Whose land are you on?
My own…?
>2. Where are they now?
Who? lel
I immediately had to check out that blog because this sounds like gold and of course "he" didn't disappoint:
>Strawberry Boy Emerson | he/him | Gay | @trans-isaac: Jewish sideblog 22 | Jewish | Talk to me

>implying these are the same people bullying cringy "lolita/ulzzang"-you back in 2007…

These "cottagecore" fags are so annoying, they're close to always spoiled city kids who have no idea how living on the countryside really is, it involves a lot more the smell of manure and chucking wood in ugly practical clothes (impossible for your average "disabled" tumblrina) instead of baking cakes and having picnics.

No. 595224

>Are POC more likely to be stuck in a city because they gravitate towards there rather than lush forests and grassy plains? Yeah.

Where are all these white and asian women living in forests?

No. 595225

File: 1596388538561.png (1.2 MB, 2000x1483, 2000px-Census-2000-Data-Top-US…)


No. 595229

This is such a stupid thing but I fucking haaate how it looks like I have no fucking chin when I'm tryna take a cute photo. Like it's normal irl but it niggles me so much in photos.

No. 595230

I’m trying so hard to follow along. I think poc are fine to worry about the representation in whatever. Of course I roll my eyes at the extreme faux-woke ‘knit boho dresses are colonialism’

But god damn. Then the anons keep posting this retarded shit and I think they are racist white ppl (or Asians, since they’re being weirdly included) who are salty over black people ‘invading’ their euro dream esthetic

No. 595231

yep. plus the bugs are insane & seeing ppl in ugly clothes is the norm so theres no real incentive to wear dresses

No. 595233

>chucking wood in ugly practical clothes (impossible for your average "disabled" tumblrina)

No. 595236

Is it better if it's a white tranny? Do you even hear yourself?

No. 595237

Yeah, thats a thing I noticed as well. It's an aesthetic thats meant to romantize the vibe, not the actual work involved in it. Is it cool to have cows? Yeah. Aesthetically there is something amazing about the whole image.
However you have to milk cows twice a day, and you cant really skip a day with normal milkcows. You dont have days off. If you have multiple animals, you have to rotate chicken pens for optimal animal happiness, you have to wake up at 4am every day to milk, you have to mow grass, take care of the house, etc.
Cottagecore is just aesthetic. It has nothing to do with the actual village farming life. there's a reason why women in small villages in the south are not dainty elves, picking herbs and flowers all day. They are hard workers. (talking about farmer women/homesteaders)
again, point is that I am venting about people being upset of too few POC represented in their aesthetic pictures without realizing that there are cultural and personal grounds for those things.
I am kazakh myself so I dunno if you'd count me as white.

No. 595238

why else do you think cottagecore is just aesthetic pictures of shabby chic micro houses and deer on pristine lakes. no one wants to live innawoods, they want to live in shitty NH vacation homes.

No. 595239

I don't know if I'm the toxic one or if my boyfriend is the toxic one in our relationship, which is 30% nice and 70% drama.

No. 595240

File: 1596389042236.jpg (43.02 KB, 940x788, 117176617_397302594577381_4808…)

sometimes i get the "i'm a banana" song stuck in my head and it makes me question my sanity

No. 595241

>represented in their aesthetic pictures without realizing that there are cultural and personal grounds for those things.

Uh, no. People reblog white and asian girls because they like how they look more.

Stop with the cultural nonsense because if that's the case, it doesnt make sense for asians to be represented either.

No. 595243

yeah for woke people, white balding pedo tranny with smudged lipstick > white girls into cottagecore lmao

No. 595244

update: I told him he needed to see a therapist and he said that he doesn't want to waste his days off in a doctor's office (he works 3 days a week, tops) when he could spend it with his family and friends, so I told him he could talk to me again when he's done being emotionally manipulative. I'm a little sad about it, but I can only handle so much stupid from one person.

No. 595255

Funnily enough most of the people complaining are Americans. And who are the people most likely to actually be farmers in the US? Whites in the Midwest/Southwest. The very same people whom tumblrinas regard as Trump supporters, conservatives, rednecks, KKK, whatever lol

No. 595261

going to diversify my farm aesthetic by bringing in slaves, acquiring a fiefdom and lordship and engaging in just a little ritualistic child sacrifice <3

No. 595283

Just finished college and can’t even get a fucking job at target. I have no fucking money at all and this just makes me want to end it all lmao!

No. 595284

My best friend is annoying me so much lately. Everything she says and does straight up gets on my nerves and idk what to do about it. Whatever problem I have with her, I can’t verbalize it cuz she will get hurt. I went out with her last week to just chill and she can’t even carry a conversation I have to do everything to keep something going. So irritating.

No. 595291

File: 1596393243771.jpg (163.33 KB, 768x1024, 1531432421131.jpg)

>suddenly enforcing "no NSFW !!!" rule on lolcow
>a third of a 4 years-old BL thread is deleted
>anons banned for posting same things they've been posting for years with no warning
>/g/ is next

say goodbye to all your fetishes threads;
lolcow hates women

No. 595298

To be fair lc gone to hell ever since they deleted /x/ and wkd trannies.

No. 595299

Are you fucking serious? What sort of fucking decision is this, what kind of a daycare center are they turning this place into?

No. 595300

Brb going to read meta. “No NSFW” has to be a joke, the entirety of lc is nsfw

No. 595301

There must be some new people on the mod team. I dont get what the purpose of banning nsfw content is. LC definitely isn't a family friendly website.

Also, did they really say /g/ is next?

No. 595302

Porn has always been banned from /m/, though.

No. 595312

i was always a super sexual person until about last year ish, I decided to abstain from sex especially with people I’m not dating (which is nobody because I just don’t have the drive to date anymore after the history I have)

but then get randomly horny out of nowhere and frustrated as shit. Masturbating isn’t cutting it anymore. Angry about it too

No. 595313

I've lost two friends this past year and I literally have no one left. I really don’t know what to do. I can’t make new friends cause of COVID either. I swear to god I need to just die at this point.

No. 595314


/g/ also disallows NSFW in rules but both boards have left anon posting on-topic spoilers in peace for years; suddenly yeeting people with no formal headsup is so shitty

No. 595315

NSFW Banned is stupid. Everything lolcows like momokun and shayna do is nsfw. The spoiler image thing exists for a reason.

Who did they bring on the team this time? A woke twitter tard who gets offended at tiddies? Shit. I want to vomit.

Just do what 4chan does and put a "you must be +18 to be on this site" shit when you open lolcow.

No. 595319

I didn't even know nsfw (besides porn) isn't allowed lol

No. 595320

I doubt nsfw has been banned from the site. It's just an anon throwing a tantrum because her hardcore yaoi pics were deleted from /m/
If you want to be nasty go to /g/. Although that board also has rules.

No. 595321


exactly, those rules were for scrotes who would post 100 threads of gaping assholes

No. 595323

I thought the rule about NSFW content was to prevent people from turning it into nothing but a porn board, not block farmers from posting (spoilered) erotica in their designated thread for that very subject. I don't exactly use the thread, but the literal first reply to it, from all the way back to 4 years ago, is "I don't have to tell you guys to spoiler images, right?", ffs.
By this "strictly follow the rules" logic, couldn't the fujoshi anons just make or enter a thread on any board that's not /m/ or /g/, and dump all their R18 shit under a spoiler tag, since they have no rule against NSFW content on them? Somehow, I feel like that would just net them a ban, too.
I don't really get it. Are Onision's nudes the only NSFW content allowed on the site now?

No. 595324

File: 1596395786858.png (18.9 KB, 856x297, ruruzu.png)


except same rule is in /g/ retard and god knows there's porn there yaoi isn't a girlstalk topic
either enforce same rules on all boards or admit that there's a twitterfag triggered by yaoi on the team

No. 595329

there's def some neewfag farmhand on staff. They shitted up the reddit thread for being "off topic" the other day, too.

No. 595334

File: 1596397054440.jpg (49.03 KB, 960x960, IMG_9740.JPG)

Just witnessed my father masturbate (I don't think he has realised I've seen him masturbate). That, coupled with the fact that I'm already pretty unwell makes me feel extremely sick/disgusted…

No. 595344

Oh, anon, I'm so sorry. I'd die on the inside if I had to see that.

No. 595345

Where the fuck did this all come from anyway? Nobody gave a shit about the Fujo thread having porn in it. It was all spoilered too, so why give a shit and delete stuff now?

No. 595367

the shipping thread and bad art threads allow porn

No. 595391

File: 1596401783379.jpg (11.88 KB, 210x240, 1536697965610.jpg)

>tfw convince myself I want and deserve to be with an attractive guy but when an attractive guy shows interest I'm immediately suspicious because I know I'm objectively fat and ugly

I'll never win. I wish my need for partnership could be turned off like a lightswitch, I'm so sick and tired of emotional rollercoasters with men and the disappointment they eventually bring.

No. 595396

I fucking hate my ghetto ass neighborhood. Everyone is obese, hideous and loud as hell, they blast absolute trash-tier hip hop 24/7, there is non-stop setting off of fireworks, they scream at and beat their kids constantly, block my fucking driveway with their giant cars and stare at me creepily as I leave, I've had multiple packages stolen, etc. I don't feel bad for any of these uneducated idiots and I hope they all die of the beetus.

No. 595401

Yaoi bad sperg baiting for weeks to no avail, resorted to reporting years old posts because women are not allowed to like anything that’s not mutually consenting hand holding and newfag farmhand
Right? Couldn’t be any more blatant vendetta

No. 595411

i'm sorry for your loss anon, maybe you can try and make friends online? Try to join some discord servers or maybe you can find other communities created to make friends?

>Who did they bring on the team this time? A woke twitter tard who gets offended at tiddies?
uh yeah why do you think they banned the thread about trannies?

No. 595413

Poor Brioche. It's all gonna be okay, anon. You only had good intentions.

No. 595421

most people are objectively ugly, that's why personality is important

unfortunately most people are fucking boring, too

No. 595447

uhh nice try sweetie but i saw a picture of serbia once and they were banging rocks together and drinking from the stream because we haven't brought farms over there yet

No. 595459

i posted 13 days ago that my dad had 6 months to a year to live.

he passed away peacefully two days ago.

i'm scared, anons. i miss him terribly, but i'm trying to be strong. he wouldn't want me to be sad.

but i'm so scared. i don't know what to do. i need to look into how my health insurance and literally everything is supposed to work from now on. i also have to write the obituary. i'm scared and overwhelmed anons. so scared.

No. 595461

I'm so sorry. I don't think there's any other logical feeling to have other than sadness and fear in this time. I feel extreme sadness and fear just thinking about the fact that I will lose my dad one day. Hang in there. Don't be afraid to ask for help either.

No. 595463

I'm sorry, anon. I hope you can feel better soon and get everything sorted out without stress. Losing loved ones always hurts, but you already know it's just a testament to how much you loved them.

No. 595476

Girl this has been me my entire life lol honestly they ain't worth it, your pride isn't worth being reduced to a background character

A friendship built from pity isn't a real friendship

Target never hires people with degrees, they want someone who is going to stay there and slave for them for years, not someone who is going to move on to bigger and better things

No. 595480

Ugh the hold is ridiculous. Like its my money give me it!
Make sure you don't end up with a buyer who abuses the "return/refund" policy bullshit if you sold something on ebay. My paypal is negative $100 from that shit and I didn't even get the thing back!

No. 595482

Target has one of those retarded preliminary "employee personality" tests that'll reject anyone it deems not submissive enough to work for them. I've tried to trick those fucking things and I always fail them. Why the fuck do you need a fucking preliminary hiring test for a min wage job. God these places are so retarded

No. 595487

Gonna try this before I pay for an app

No. 595491

>target never hires people with degrees
That's just wholly incorrect as I know myself and several others that have them. Yes, I am a sad wageslave. I do know, however, that if you don't have open availability, your application isn't even looked at right now. They just outright reject it, instantly.

No. 595495

:( im sorry that he was taken so suddenly. let yourself grieve, it's ok to not be ok. cry, yell, scream, laugh. he obviously doesn't want you to not live your life after his passing, but im sure he also would have wanted you to deal with your grief in a healthy way. reach out to anyone who can help with post death affairs and other paperwork. it doesnt have to be family, it can be friends too. if you find yourself struggling with this on your own, their are many charities and churches especially who dedicate time to helping overwhelmed people deal with deaths in the family.

No. 595503

I am so sorry anon, my condolences. Please reach out to your friends and family for support. If you have Bereavement Leave please take it.

No. 595516

While I think you should speak with whoever you feel is best suited to the situation, friend or partner, I don't think it would hurt to let the man you intend to marry in on your current personal struggles. No doubt he loves and supports you, so what's the harm in telling him why you've been avoiding intimacy? Even if he doesn't offer anything constructive towards your intended goal, sharing the weight of your emotional burdens has its own kind of benefits.

Godspeed on your weight loss journey, anon!

No. 595524

I wish I knew how long my dad had left to live and got prepared. He died a month ago. No he wouldn’t want you to be sad, you will be okay.

No. 595525

File: 1596417287542.jpeg (16.36 KB, 425x424, EdgtQdFXoAA4fzr.jpeg)

My mental illness is causing me to strongly believe that my boyfriend hates me and is not really attracted to me anymore and wants to break up with me despite him showing strong sides of the opposite and it's so hard for me to stop pushing him away because of this made up bullshit in my brain.

I'm scared, just scared I'm going to ruin everything.

I can't stop moping around like a stupid heartbroken bitch for no reason.

No. 595528

File: 1596417879744.jpg (323.52 KB, 1243x960, 8f948ce9-43ec-480f-b545-03bfe7…)

I know I shouldn't feel this way towards a friend, BUT I'm not that nice of person so… One of my online friends has 13 year old weaboo beginner tier art and gets more attention that mine. I'm not the greatest either and I'm a beginner as well, but at least I have a basic understanding of anatomy and lighting. I really think they only get attention on their art because they draw for fandoms that our friend group is into whereas I draw a lot of stuff outside of our shared fandoms.
It's more frustrating because said friend group likes to spout the whole "support your friends art even if you don't know the series" shit that goes around.
I don't want my friend to stop getting attention, I guess I just want some kind of recognition too.

Whatever, at least I feel better after typing this.

No. 595553

File: 1596420722462.gif (5.06 MB, 680x739, 096.gif)

i deal with the same, im so sorry

No. 595572

I don't think I have a real condition or anything but I kinda have the same. Like every time I'm shown affection or caring by anyone or a relationship starts getting semi-serious I think "they didn't really mean the wonderful things they said, it's all fake, you will be left on the roadside any day now, it's just a matter of time"

The only people I trust are the elderly.

No. 595575

God who the fuck cares. Why can't you just do something because you like it instead of trying to get attention.

No. 595590

you absolute queen

No. 595594

Trying not to make this a tranny sperg but a friend's husband trooned out last year and has become so goddamn obnoxious. We'll call him S. My friend and S come over a night my bf decided to get drunk. He finally has some time off work. He got pretty tipsy and a little loud but was cheerful and went to bed when he felt like he had enough. S texts me that they were uncomfortable being around a drunk man (kek he's mtf.) I literally ignore the text and S comes back with my friend the next weekend. We decided to drink a little but my bf sits this one out and plays video games in the other room. S texts me the following morning saying they were uncomfortable being drunk around a man that's ok being sober around a bunch of drunk girls. Ignoring this text too. Did text my friend I am not comfortable with S coming over anymore though.

Like Jesus Christ, get a grip dude. You weren't being forced to be here. You came into my house if you don't like it fucking leave. My bf has been nothing but nice even though he is extremely weirded out by S.

No. 595596

File: 1596428918769.jpg (47.81 KB, 564x407, EeZ5lHTWsAAEqwT.jpg)

he wants to have a threesome with you and his wife.

No. 595597

my teenage sister is pregnant and wants to keep it even though she still lives at home with no job and no driving license. her boyfriend is also a jobless stoner with mental health issues and both our families are poor. i’ve been stressed about my family’s finances since i was 9… i’ve legit had recurring nightmares about my mom taking on a new financial burden like a pet or a car because i’m terrified that her and my sisters will end up homeless. i feel like the universe is playing a trick on me because my nightmare became real, except it’s even worse than i could’ve imagined. my mom is pro life so she won’t make my sister get an abortion, plus she’s not a pragmatic thinker and she’s horrible with money. i’ve been crying for the past two hours thinking about how she will probably fall back on rent and bills because otherwise she can’t afford stuff like diapers and a crib and baby clothes. and crying about how my sister won’t go to college or achieve anything significant in her youth because she’ll be bogged down with a kid for the next 18 years. in the end i’m probably gonna have to put my own life on hold to help my sister raise the baby when her boyfriend inevitably fucks off, while my mom works overtime so she can support 5 kids on a single salary. i can’t even tell any of this to my therapist because she quit her job this week. i wanna die lol

No. 595601

Please update us on your friend's response!

No. 595607

proud of you anon. so many women feel like they have to entertain this shit. your bf has the right to get drunk/not drunk in his own house.

it sounds like the tranny wants to get rid of your bf to make it a girls night, and I think you need to ask yourself what S would gain from being the only male in a group of drunk women, remembering S has a dick and male strength. He sees your bf as a either a threat or an obstacle as he's kicking up shit about your bf no matter what he does.

No. 595608

My only semi regular friend ghosted me for no reason. Then, I got drunk and sent him like 100 messages insulting him. I regret it but at the same time, I can't apologize. I hate my life.

No. 595610

nothing like a good cry before going to bed just because of all the awful thoughts ive had for weeks now & the hatred i have for myself finally got to me kek

No. 595618

Just realized that unless I win the lottery or get an OnlyFans, I'll never have the financial background I need to achieve my goal

No. 595622

I agree and that's why I vented in this thread. But every once in a while it would be nice to get a simple, "nice job, anon!" from friends. I'll keep doing my thing no matter what because no matter what I love doing my silly little drawings.

No. 595623

He just wants your husband removed altogether for whatever reason, gonna agree with other anons that it's because men piss him off for ruining his ~validating girls only pajama party~ or something because that was my first thought too.

No. 595624

I think you guys are on to something. My bf was originally supposed to be out of town for the second hang out I mentioned and S did mention ~girl's night~ kek. I was really trying to be accommodating because I kinda ghosted on my friend while dealing with some issues last year and wanted to mend our friendship. Didn't know I was going to have to be best friends with S too to make that work. They come as a pair now apparently.

No. 595630

I doubt your friend will be with him for too long. After a man troons out the countdown for the disintegration of the relationship has started.

No. 595657

Someone verbally kick some sense into me. I have yet again experienced failure to launch. In roughly 4 weeks I'll have to move back into my parents house at 30 because my current life isn't financially viable. I moved far away for the prospect of graduate jobs and it's just not happening. I tried to search for more basic occupations (supermarket, factory, cleaning lady, dog walker) and nada. And something's got to give. I didn't have much practical experience, no connections and not great grades, so I see why the graduate job offers aren't falling into my lap.

And since the pandemic the search will only be tougher because there's more competition. I don't want to stop trying but it feels so futile because it's been over a year now and when will my career start? Or any kind of income. I feel pathetic because I am. Once I get home I can get at least a customer service job within a week or two, the kind that made me determined to go to college in the first place. Going back will worsen my mental state, but it'll get me out of stasis. Blech.

No. 595661

I'm so stressed dealing with uni work plus getting dumped that I feel like my head and my body are gonna explode. I literally feel like shit but at the same time I cant even cry, so I'm just stuck trying to keep myself busy so I dont think anything that all but seriously I feel my head burning lmao

No. 595674

File: 1596448621582.jpg (44.65 KB, 450x449, stock-photo-old-angry-woman-th…)

Oh my god I fucking hate it when companies do that shit where person A posts an inquiry, I create them an offer and the person B from the SAME company sends me the fucking SAME inquiry.

Do you not talk to each other? Do you think I'm lying? It literally says in the signanture you're in the same department. Like fuck stop that because I'm forced to create a new offer for each inquiry instead of just copying it and you're giving me extra work.

It's been happening a lot lately…

No. 595681

Many companies work from home now, so communication between departments is probably worse than usual right now. That's probably the reason you get more double inquiries right now.

No. 595683

My mom just spendt two hours burning a single pack of bacon. How is it even possible to be so retarded. Literally every piece is burnt to a crisp, and she spent two hours doing it. How.

No. 595684

can someone please tell me what settings I have to change in instagram so that in instagram reels i will no longer be spammed by those dancing thots

No. 595688

You can tap on the 3 dots in the upper corner and choose "not interested" and make sure you like the shit you wanna see.

No. 595693

I really dislike the like system for Instagram. I wish there was a way to look at photos you liked without having to go through 3 different menus.

No. 595706

That's not really the case for my country

No. 595718

Sometimes i'll see pretty women on Twitter and I just can't understand what it would be like to look like that. Imagine being able to wear anything and make it look good, having a beautiful face, amazing hair. It's just unfathomable and so unreachable for me the immense jealousy gets to me.

No. 595728

My currently long distance boyfriend is pissed at me because I he saw I was active on Facebook and not talking to him a couple hours ago, I feel like this is getting kinda fucking unhealthy. Maybe I’m being too detached but I’m genuinely fucking emotionally exhausted. Like I shouldn’t have to talk to him every single time I’m online that’s ridiculous. I like talking to him but I woke up in the middle of the night and checked my Facebook and went back to sleep and now he’s pissed at me. I mean come on.

No. 595771

Yeah that is stupid of him. Unless you are constantly ignoring his messages but are active on social media outside of this situation, he is overreacting.

No. 595788

> I’m genuinely fucking emotionally exhausted
I wouldn't be too enthusiastic about dating this type of guy in person if he's like that online.

No. 595818

My fiancé has been on my ass lately about smoking weed. He's right, i do have a dependency on it but I don't think it's as bad as he makes it out to be. It's the closest thing to a cigarette for me and I feel like I'm more bitchy without it. He's right that I should cut back due to limited finances it's just really hard to go cold turkey when it's been your cope for almost 3 years now. On the bright side covid has forced me to come to terms with my frequent use and confront my issues involving its use so. There's that.

No. 595823

My husband uses it to cope after cigarettes too. I’ve been on his ass about it too because of finances. We had been in a rut relationship wise and he thought I was scraping money for his weed so he wouldn’t leave me when instead I was doing it because it was the one thing that made him happy and we were secure in other aspects of our life even if we lived primarily paycheck to paycheck. I do think that as long as it’s not like……. ruining you guys financially, he should think my way which is that it’s his one thing to have and if he wants something else he has to give up the weed (even temporarily) to get something else during this poor time. I mean I smoke too but not as frequently as him.

No. 595829

We're breaking up with my bf. I'm unable to pass my degree. I have nowhere to go since I have no family and I'm unable to make friends.
I feel it's the end. I'm 30,I'm fucking nowhere in life. I should just kill myself.
I've bought 100 xaxax and I guess with enough bouze I could do it. I just have to work up the courage. I'm so fucking miserable,anon.

No. 595839

I had no family, no degree and a shitty bf that cheated, dumped me and left me homeless at 29.. but things worked out. Only a few months later I was doing fine. Things can go from seeming hopeless to being alright again in a relatively short time.

No. 595845

The comments I get under my instagram photos are disgusttingggg. And they're written by real men with friends and family and jobs. I'll be covered from head to toe and I'll get a random comment talking about how sexy I am. is it wrong to not like that descriptor? Don't call me sexy I literally did not need to know that you view me as an object. I actually don't think men should leave comments in general. A girl can call me sexy, not a guy.

No. 595852

Men will literally view a burkha as a sexy fetish obiect so the is no winning.

No. 595855

I only want to be called sexy by people I've chosen to date, no other person on earth can call me sexy without my skin crawling. Rando men really expect you to be flattered and blushing in reaction to that shit.

No. 595860

I only want to be viewed as sexy by good looking men, I don’t have to even know them. This is probably something that is going to hurt me in the long run though. Incels will ree at this, but being complimented by a literal male model is a little different from being complimented by some 800+ lb blob who has not left his moms basement in years.

No. 595869

for me it's all about intention. I was talking to my male cousin the other day about a guy and he casually said something along the lines of "why would you settle for that, you're pretty" and the fact that it was said with no hidden agenda and was just a genuine compliment really flattered me. You can smell the desperation on guys who compliment you without even knowing you.

No. 595871

I kind of agree with this. I don't want randos saying that kind of thing, but my male friends can tell me genuinely when I look nice and if something is flattering or if I look sexy in an outfit, but they're never creepy/"because you look sexy, I want to fuck you," about it, ya know? Absolutely random men, though, I don't get where the find the fucking audacity lol

No. 595872

I am several months into totally ignoring my neighbour. He's old but he started to come off as pervy and then really overbearing in how often he wanted to talk to me (I couldn't leave my house without him running out to me every single time) When will he get a fucking hint? Twice today he ran out and tried to talk at me, If someone ignored me for even a week I'd give up.

Damn this tiny town where you can't cause a scene. If this happened in any of the other areas I've lived in I would've just screamed at him by now.

No. 595884

I’m not sexually active and always take care to clean my dildos before and after each use but somehow I think I have a UTI again and now have to pay like $90 for an online consultation and antibiotics UGHHHH

No. 595891

File: 1596477149805.png (134.06 KB, 730x826, 116875805_1370484829817149_615…)

I'm trying to distance myself from the alphabet communities but even that is not enough they try insert themselves into the most random shit possible

> hairstyles with undercuts, because lesbians would appreciate that

Nice stereotype
> vitilgo
This is a dressup game about clothes not skinconditions
> Pride flags pleaaaase
> Prefered pronouns
This one made me gag
> Wheelchairs
Literally not thinking about the type of game they are talking about, just care for the representation part

Sorry to sperg, about a godamn dressup game Jesus

No. 595906

Online consultation? Uhm, wouldn't it be better to see a doctor and get some tests done?

No. 595909

>Undercuts because any lesbians playing will appreciate that
Holy shit no I fucking don't, they're ugly as hell and only remind me of Miley Cyrus. Fuck this retarded stereotype. I'm amazed they don't suggest flannel shirts and denim vests too.

No. 595910

Imagine the exhaustion that comes from shoehorning your artificial identity into every aspect of your life.

>early 70s Stevie Nyx type fashion because that is coming back

Dude just code your own SJW dress up game if you want Jeffree Starship merch available

No. 595911

this is funny because nintendo are anti this shit. they removed a mario maker map that said "trans pride" because they said it was political kek

No. 595912

Nta but where I live you can pay 20 euro and fill out a quick questionnaire to get a UTI prescription mailed out to you, it's one of a few services where they don't even require a doc to talk with you.

No. 595915

I’m a burger with no health insurance, so this is the cheapest option. I get UTIs relatively frequently so I recognize the symptoms. I used this service during lockdown too when I really didn’t want to go outside lol

No. 595919

Yeah, sorry, I tend to forget about the American health care situation. I am just kinda wary of antibiotics, if I'm not 100% that I need them, considering the rise of antibiotic resistance.

No. 595920

I used to get several UTIs a year. Feel for you anon, I remember resenting all the money I spent on them!

No. 595924

Poor here, I used to get them bad one year and after spending a bunch of money on antibiotics I decided to just eat a lot of cranberry supplements, drink water often so I piss a lot, and deal with it for a week. Had it once or twice after that but then never again. Always pee soon after sex/masturbating.

No. 595929

Antibiotics also makes you more susceptible to utis in the future as they ruin your normal bacterial flora, making it easier for bad bacteria to take hold. (It also causes depression and bowel issues, I'm absolutely ruined after antibiotics and I regret it so much)

No. 595930

File: 1596481523981.jpg (29.78 KB, 360x381, external-content.duckduckgo-22…)

I dont know if Im just a doormat or if my employer is terrible but I work overtime every week and I just found out I have to work an extra 5 hours tomorrow (tacked on to an already 12 hour shift…) I wish I felt more comfortable opening up about the issues with my job but I have "bootstraps" style conservative values so instilled in my mind that I feel guilty for even feeling the need to vent about it.

No. 595933

If you find a way out of this hell we've made for ourselves, let me know

No. 595934

>certain family members I live with try to literally force feed me junk food 24/7
>even though I already make my own food
>they also used to shame me for getting back “too late” after school when I used to go work out every day (6pm) and got mad about that too every single time
>they get mad and throw a massive fit if I don’t eat the 4 donuts or whatever other premade sugary shit they brought me as a present immediately, and in one sitting
>I always eventually give in
>this happens literally every single day
>same family member also make fun of me for gaining weight and being prediabetic at 21

I really need to lose weight, but I’m too weak and tired to deal with this bullshit.

No. 595935

UTIs don't go away on their own, you always need antibiotics. Untreated UTIs can travel up to your kidneys and infect them so seriously there's no place to play with home remedies. I once was in a situation when I couldn't go to a doctor and tried all that stupid holistic shit and it just kept getting worse until I could barely walk. After I got to the doctor I got prescribed antibiotics and it was almost gone the next morning. You're supposed to be avoiding antibiotics when you have a disease that can be taken care of without them (like the common flu) but UTI is not one of them.

No. 595937

It sounds like you know what to do and you're already trying to do the work! I don't know how much your family member pushes, but seriously, just tell them no and ignore them. And if they try, bring up how they make fun of your weight or, if you don't want to be as confrontational, just say you're managing your pre-diabetes. You can do it, anon. People just hate to see others make improvements in their life/appearance that they aren't strong enough to themselves, so they try to keep you down.

No. 595938

On the subject of UTIs. I suffered with them for years. Sometimes having to cycle through different antibiotics, I had all the insane upset stomaches from them, got yeast infections from them, still managed to get a couple of infections bad enough to be in hospital. Shit was rough. I dreaded sex in case that was causing them. Got dumped twice basically over that.

A couple years ago my dad got a urinary infection. Now I only see him once every few months but every time I see him i hear about this awful urinary infection! He wasn't in hospital with it or anything but won't stop rehashing how bad it was. I told him women get them all the time. I've had loads of them that I never thought to bore him about. Jesus, men.

No. 595940

This happened to me and even though I wasn’t overweight it was hell because it exacerbated my health issues and it was crippling. I would cry and beg in frustration to please for the love of god let me eat healthy at least leave me alone but they continued buying mass amounts of shit and manipulating me into eating it. I’m so sorry anon, it’s awful to deal with

No. 595941

cw self harm

I knew that my sister used to cut herself at 13 (in 2013) but I thought she stopped, today I found a sm account of hers where she's been talking about it and posting some pictures of her scars. she says on the account that she's been clean since February 2019. her most recent scars look really bad. I rememeber a few months ago I found a box of band aids and disinfectant in her desk drawer and I got worried but I ignored it and forgot about it because I didn't want it to be true, but now I know for sure

My mom knew about it when she was 13 and helped her but I don't know if she knows now, we're both 20 living at home but mentally she's like a young teenager (see: posting self harm pics on the internet) and she has only one irl friend (besides me) which is why I think having our moms support would be very important

She doesn't know that I know any of this, we get along well but we've never confided in each other or talked about anything; looking back, we both grew up hiding stuff from each other, her with self harm and me with eating disorders; I have no idea how I'd talk about this with her and honestly I really don't want to because it would be so uncomfortable and weird for us but I also love her and want to help her and maybe if she knew she could talk to me about this stuff it would help? She's been clean since 2019 which is good but what if she relapses? I'm scared bringing it up with her would make things weird and tense between us because we're so like, emotionally distant from each other and she probably doesn't want to talk about it with me but ignoring it also feels really wrong and if she relapses or worse it's gonna be my fault for not trying to help her when I could

Her one irl friend is a mutual friend who I know she discussed sh with in the past, I could try to talk to her about it

Sorry this post is a mess

No. 595942

samefag, *talked about anything personal

No. 595943

Bitch no, I got a kidney infection and pissed blood after an untreared uti. Don't just ignore it, the bacteria will have a harder time growing in acidic enviroment but always go to a doctor when you have certain symptoms.

No. 595945

That's not true, UTIs can go away on their own, though of course it's better to take them than to risk a kidney infection (I've been there). What I meant, though, is that it'd be better to actually run tests to see if it even is a UTI before taking antibiotics. No one can really tell you for sure if it's a UTI if you just fill out some questionnaire online.

No. 595947

I'm so mad at my mom for setting bad examples and raising me to tolerate and normalize abuse, while simultaneously shaming me as I got older and found myself in abusive situations or relationships. She hated me, because she hated that she saw herself in me but was too much of a stupid bitch to realize she caused it. And of course, therapy was below her because then she'd have to face facts that she was bad and "trying her best" hadn't been good enough.
I hate that she was the one who told me I was never allowed to have boundaries, especially with her (she humiliated me by reading my diary, rummaging through my room, walking around the house naked, getting angry at me if I kept secrets or wouldn't tell her things, irritating at expressing my agency or individuality in any way she disapproved, holding gifts she gave me over my head to get me to comply with anything, and I didn't even have a door that could shut and lock until I moved out at 22 years old). I was never allowed to say no in response to anything she demanded of me, and so I became a people pleaser because other people's happiness was more valuable than my own comfort. She spoiled men and her shitty husbands while talking a big talk to me about how garbage they were behind their backs and "trading them in for new models" while never doing shit until they cheated on her bitter ass. She let her abusive second husband have partial custody of me while he emotionally tormented me and stymied my upbringing for years under the logic that any father figure was better than none, only to confess later that he was a violent physical abuser which I had always figured by the way he acted and was neglectful. That man enjoyed my emotional suffering, and using me as the pawn so he wouldn't have to pay my mom money and to stay relevant as a malignant force in her life. It made me feel worse as she knew but did nothing to protect me from him, she never told the courts shit because she was more embarrassed to be seen as having chosen the wrong type of man to reproduce with than outing the truth to protect her own offspring.

There's no other way I could have turned out. I'm an abuser and narcissist magnet, and the only reason why I'm an iota of self-aware is due to how many times I've been burned so far (thankfully I've always been for abortion and bc so no man could ever trap me or hurt my theoretical children) and the internet's accounts of other women who are just like me but weren't so lucky.

I will hate her until the end of time for what she's done. She isn't sorry and doesn't believe she's responsible for the majority of how shitty my upbringing was. She looks at my outward appearance as an adult of not being a total loser, and gives herself all the credits for my successes while blaming me for all my failures.
I won't feel better until she's dead and isn't around to spread her lies and manipulations anymore.

No. 595949

Diff anon but I suffered with UTIs for a long time and getting docs just to run tests was difficult, even if you go to a doctor in person they rarely take urine and test it. Easier for them to hand you a prescription and only test you if you've been back in with UTIs ten times that year.

Weirdly enough I was once in hospital for an unrelated reason. I got UTI symptoms while there and they tested immediately. Test came back negative which shocked me. I still had symptoms that I quietly put up with for a few more days. I've heard after a while of getting infections you get scarring on your bladder wall?

No. 595953

Oh, okay, that's fucked up. In the countries I've lived in, they always take urine samples even the first time.

No. 595954

Less than 50% of UTIs go away on their own untreated, those odds are pretty shitty. And the type that goes away on its own is gone in a day. If the symptoms are lasting for over a day and don't get better, you need to go to a fucking doctor. An untreated, complicated UTI is painful and very dangerous.

>"There was a suggestion in a small German study in 2010 that using just painkillers may be no worse than antibiotics," adds Ali. "But a more extensive study by the same group in 2015 refuted this and showed that women who did not take antibiotics had a significantly higher total burden of symptoms, and more cases of pyelonephritis - a severe infection of the kidney which can require hospital admission and can lead to sepsis."

>"Similar results to the German trial were seen in a Swiss study in 2017 and a recent Norwegian one in 2018. Both showed that avoiding antibiotics was an inferior approach to treating UTIs. While many women will get over the infection without antibiotics, a proportion will experience severe complications."

So no, I wouldn't risk just waiting it to go out on its own.

Every time I've gone to the doctor for an UTI in my country they've always taken a urine sample as well, it takes like 10 minutes for them to test it. Then again our doctors are very stingy with antibiotics and only prescribe them when necessary.

No. 595962

It sucks as an adult to piece these things together and make sense of the lasting effects. I'm only realising lately how much our childhoods shape our romantic relationships, depressing af anon.

My dad had a 'my house and everything in this house is mine to control' attitude. I've dated guys with the same attitude, on the surface I just look like a doormat idiot but I'm sure I'm recreating the shitty dynamic I grew up in.

No. 595970

Highly relatable, anon. I wish you the best. I’ve been cutting people out as soon as they seem suspect. I was always made to doubt myself and internalized the “give them the benefit of the doubt!” “People deserve second chances uwu” bullshit I was fed growing up. My family used it to excuse their narcissistic digs and careless remarks once I matured enough to realize they were treating me like shit and call them out on it. No one deserves anything. If they hurt you and “didn’t realize” they were being hurtful it isn’t your responsibility to teach them anything. Don’t let them into your psyche by explaining your pain. Just leave after the first instance of hurt and save that space in your life for someone who doesn’t hurt you.

No. 595974

God has forsaken us. I don't even know why I'm still keep on believing in God when horrible fucking people prosper and live long while good people die. Fucking COVID, police brutality, riots, societal strife, economy is in the shitter, but God supposedly loves and cared for us, but where the fuck is He? Why does life just keep on sucking and sucking and sucking and nothing truly gets better?

No. 595977

She pushes really hard. If I don’t eat the junk food the first time she tries to get me to eat it she will try several times a day until it goes stale and then she puts on this big show about how nasty I am for wasting the precious doughnut she brought for me with her own money or whatever and letting it go stale when it was sooo fresh and beautiful when she brought it from the store. She doesn’t take no for an answer.

I’ve stopped trying tbh, I used to go to dance class every single day and I managed to get down to a stable healthy weight, but then the class moved to a different part of the city which is almost an hour away so now all I’ve been doing for exercise is running 1km every other day which is not nearly enough. so now I’m on a fine line between the upper healthy bmi range and being slightly overweight. The part that concerns me the most is the prediabetes, which she does know about, she even told me it’s because I have a bad diet (which she forces on me, but when I told her this she said it’s my decision to eat the junk food and it’s not her fault for buying it)

No. 595978

You think police brutality is on the same level as COVID? You really have been brainwashed. And lol @ acting like this is the worst state of the world in thousands of years.

No. 595980

Way worse shit than that list has been happening for pretty much all of history

World wars, plagues that were so much worse than covids spread or death rate

No. 595987

There is no God anon. We are all who we've got on our little blue marble floating in space, and the only comfort is the fact that you will become fully unaware of it again once your consciousness is obliterated in death as it was before you were born.

Horrible people know this and know there is no consequence awaiting for them in an afterlife, which is why they depend on religion to keep the poor and undereducated in line thinking there's a divine retribution awaiting them. It's all a lie.

No. 595992

I was reading about the plague yesterday and there was this sad little quote on wikipedia from a 1300s Italian scholar
>”happy posterity, who will not experience such abysmal woe … will look upon our testimony as a fable"

No. 595993

Anons are making fun of you but honestly it’s easy to get overwhelmed these days just because we’re so bombarded by bad news all the time. An existential crisis is not an uncommon thing to experience but you will be okay lol.

Terrible things are happening all over the world right now but there are many good things as well. This is the way the world has always been and as long as you can find some reason to keep trucking along you will be okay. Sometimes that means disconnecting yourself from the constant stream of information for a bit.

Coming from a person who has attempted suicide, I would rather be alive than dead right now. You got this anon.

No. 595994

Christianity not giving God a more potent rival is a weakness imo, you can’t blame things like natural disasters on anyone but him.

No. 595996

This is why I fucking hate the internet. I'm saying that if God fucking cared and if he existed, then he should help people. I know life has always been shit.

No. 595997

OP here and when I used to have health insurance and go to my doctor for them, they always told me the urine tests came back negative even though I had the uncomfortable, painful and constant urge to pee symptoms.

No. 595998

All other things anons have said aside, God himself literally flooded the world with the intention of killing all human inhabitants to start over lol. I mean it didn't work, but that's who you're referring to, yes?

No. 596000

Why tho lol

No. 596001

He was supposed to chill out after having a kid.

No. 596002

im having the worst heartburn ive ever had in my life and its scaring me

No. 596003

Pain and suffering are normal parts of life

No. 596004

fucking kek god is a deadbead dad

No. 596005

I always find it funny how quickly men will try to change the subject if you don't respond to their sexual jokes. It's like their minds go into a frenzied panic mode to try to recover their chances lmao.

No. 596007

my parents dont give a fuck about rona and think its a hoax. it's stressing me the fuck out how reckless they're being. I don't care if they get it, but I live with them and so it impacts me. I'm not working because of rona rn and they're being cunts about it. They don't think my health is more important than working. I'm fine for money too so that isn't the issue.

No. 596097

You always hear people say things like ‘people don’t take men’s mental health seriously’ and ‘we need to address the male suicide rate’ and I agree but I think the idea that people don’t is disingenuous, or at least it’s not taken less seriously than mental health for any other group. Idk if it’s just my experience but I feel like straight white men dominate all discourse around alienation and isolation. If anything I ONLY hear about this group in regards to the experience of isolation and alienation. They say it as if people do take women’s mental health seriously when they are constantly dismissed as being attention seeking, or dishonest, or ‘unable to experience true pain’ compared to men, ‘unable to feel loneliness’ and usually women of colour are just left out of the conversation entirely. Like just a couple of days ago there was the whole thing about female autism not existing. I feel like we hear these people’s stories constantly, we hear about their alienation, we often hear it literally in the context of literally excusing their subsequent radicalisation, in a way that pretty much no other group gets but it’s still portrayed as if ‘no one cares’ about men’s mental health and not even just by like incels or whatever but a lot of normal or ‘woke’ people seem to also think this and I just don’t really see it but idk it may just be my experience.

No. 596101

I don't understand this perspective. I can't see how anyone truly takes comfort in the idea that there is no "god," that life is essentially meaningless, and that the best thing about it is that we won't remember any of it after we're dead. This is every bit as silly to me as believing in an afterlife, or a believing in a god that directly influences your every day life and loves you, but doesn't do so for others.

No. 596104

I disagree with this for a few reasons. The main one is because of how gender roles affect mental health. Both genders have different struggles, and different issues with mental health and physical health due to gender stereotyping. While it's definitely true that men have as much freedom as women to access mental health resources, men are also taught to internalize their emotions, which likely affects their decisions to take action. However that's not to say women aren't don't have hang ups regarding the mental health system, they are just different issues. I think much of the time we forget that both genders do infact have issues if they don't fit into their gender roles perfectly, but we tend to blame it on men because they benefit more from society and based on that, we think that they should be able to fix it more easily when that's not always the case. Honestly I just wish people would treat each other nicer regardless.

No. 596117

No one said life is meaningless, but yes, there is nothing after death. If you think an afterlife is what will give your current life meaning then it sounds like you're doing it wrong.

No. 596120

We're all made up of the same matter as stars, and plants, and animals. I'm not religious but I like to think that when you die, you give yourself back to the Earth and eventually become a beautiful tree, or bug, or you hatch as a bird and little bits of you are in everything. It makes you appreciate nature more at the very least.

No. 596121

I don't know if I'll have classes on campus this fall, but if I do and attendance is mandatory I'm going to hang myself.
I know that at least three people in my classes have kindergarten and middle school aged kids and that age group is the worst spreader of disease and germs. These people will definitely spread covid their kids carry from school and soon enough I'm gonna end up in breathing tubes.

No. 596124

If you think life is meaningless without some magic daddy or other power then that’s on you. There are so many things you can choose to be meaningful and that’s liberating.

I, for one, am very glad that the point to my existence is not to worship some asshole and suffer

No. 596133

so you think life is only meaningful because of god?

No. 596136

To some people yes. People have different reasons to give their life meaning and that’s okay. I don’t believe in God but I totally understand why people find solace in the idea. There’s no shame in that unless you have a giant atheist stick up your ass.

No. 596137

File: 1596505116078.jpg (2 MB, 2934x1147, 20200803_213806.jpg)

A little random relationship advice and a rant. The first thing you should do before meeting a guy or dating him is ask him "so what type of girls are you into physically? :)"

This question will save you so much time and bullshit because many guys will fuck and date cute girls WHO ARENT THEIR TYPE, and resent them for it down the line. It doesnt mean you're not hot, you're fuckable…you just arent his "type". Most guys are dumb enough to answer this question honestly because guys can never stfu about women they're attracted to and the ones they arent attracted to.
I asked this guy who his type is and he said cute asian girls. Im a 30 year old black woman, so obviously I'm not his ideal. He answered the question honestly and I blocked him immediately afterward.

No. 596141

>People have different reasons to give their life meaning and that’s okay
Nta but you could have said this to the anon telling everyone their perspective was stupid for thinking their existence had value outside of god, which provoked these reactions in the first place…

No. 596142

good advice. tbh i see fetishising asian girls as a yuuuuuge fucking red flag. especially if he's white. those kinds of guys would never be happy with anyone, especially not a cute asian girl, because they'd find out they're human beings with personalities and not brainless sex robots they can program into accepting unacceptable bullshit.

No. 596143

it's not like sky daddy is the only option miss fedora. you can choose to worship deities that don't require you to suffer.

No. 596144

You could say it to any anon in this thread saying there is no God to the op obviously going through it lmao.

No. 596145

Ok so who do you recommend

No. 596146

>or other power

I already covered that. Keep up.

No. 596150

The first red flag in the conversation was his ex was a chinese girl who couldnt even speak english.

No. 596155

Good to see that I should go to Reddit or some other site for venting about growing up fundie. Sorry not everyone grows up in a secular community or environment. For years the only reason why I didn't kill myself was because I didn't want to go to hell. I've struggled with my faith before, but with stress and all the shit going on, I am REALLY questioning my beliefs. Inb4 Christchan

No. 596160

Do you want to vent or do you want therapy? It really sounds like you need the latter.

I hope you end up happier, anon.

No. 596163

That's what therapy is. Women pay someone to be the lower status friend who listens to all their problems and tells then what they want to hear.

No. 596164

Tried being upfront and honest with my mom about how she failed me in certain ways and how it affected me and that's why I have been so distant from her for the past few years. I poured my fucking heart out and even acknowledged how I understood she was dealing with a lot back then too. All for nothing I guess, she immediately got defensive and started bringing up shitty things I did ages 13-17 kek. She's so fucking stupid.

No. 596166

oh god oh god same. I literally did this exact thing through text message and she just didn't respond to it. We live together and she didn't confront me about it. I literally even said that I understand she was going through a lot and it's not a matter of blame but explanation of why I'm being distant. I just wanted her to acknowledge that she could have done better in some ways just like I also could have done better. Sucks..

No. 596171

I really can't handle messing up in any capacity. I scraped another car while parking back in december and I'm still suicidal over it (I'm not joking). If I make one minor mistake at work I think about it for months and come to the conclusion that I'm a piece of shit that people only deal with out of pity. Sometimes I secretly think I'm retarded and everyone is just playing along.

No. 596180

Ugh I'm sorry, anon. I wish they would own up to their mistakes. I went into the convo trying to mend our relationship too.

I do the exact same thing. I dwell on such minor things to the point I feel sick. I try to tell myself of people I know who have fucked up or embarrassed themselves much worse and it literally changed nothing about how I see them or feel about them. Doesn't always work though cause half the time I don't care what other people think anyway and I am just unhappy with how I see myself. I hope you can he nicer to yourself.

No. 596210

The roof above my bed just started leaking and it’s looking like my entire bedroom ceiling might come down before the night is over. It’s a new house (living with my parents cuz of COVID) but it was cheap and I guess the construction was half assed. Fml

No. 596211

this dude i've been talking to who has constantly hinted at being bicurious just """joked""" about being pegged and when I directly said i'm not into that he was like "ummm you know im joking right" and I was like dude??? you've """joked""" about being interested in this shit many times. why are men like this lmao

No. 596222

You posted about the bicurious thing days ago I don’t get why you’re still talking to him if you’re not into it and find him so creepy or whatever?

No. 596242

This is really good but what do you do when he goes “girls like you :)” or avoids the topic? Run?

No. 596257

File: 1596520410942.jpg (216.59 KB, 3200x1800, Z9ADN37grS2WdbEPgenqmRi9CVxuSJ…)

reading discourse about people saying Computer Science/other tech degrees are useless makes me salty. maybe if you glide by and putz around in your free time without studying and making connections via your university, yeah. but i feel like "learning 2 code" is different from learning and being tested on all components of computing–including programming. anyone with internet access has the capability of learning it all themselves, but if you've really done that you'd be successful and not reeeeing at graduates

both sides of the argument are stupid and filled with cope anyway. this is why i never look at Twitter

No. 596276

uggghhhh i ordered some shorts from fashion nova and i'm pretty sure my fucking package got stolen because according to the tracking info, they dropped it off at a different unit on the property. no idea if that means the tenants in that unit stole it, or if someone swiped it off their doorstop. either way, i checked, and it ain't where it's supposed to be.

i'm dreading having to report the package stolen because from what i've read, fashion nova does everything humanly possible to avoid refunding you if a package got lost/stolen or if you try and return something. i'm only out $37 if that happens but still. i just wanted some cute fucking biker shorts FUCK

No. 596277

nah, not me

No. 596279

Dumped my LDR bf who I haven't seen for over a year, he decided to instantly chimp out and emotionally abuse me and try to gaslight me. It's been 2 days and I still feel such anxiety about it

No. 596280

For a year?! What'd he say?

No. 596290

My bf was trying to get me to open up about things I fantasize about sexually and it made me have a breakdown and I have not stopped crying for an hour. It’s weird because I enjoy having sex and I enjoy erotic things but if I think about myself at all in a sexual way it makes me feel miserable, disgusting and suicidal. When we have sex I have to think of other things to get off, I can’t look at my own body and I can’t think of myself either. Any time I am reminded that I am a real physical human I am just filled with dread and most of the time I live my life sort of zoned out forgetting I am real, but it’s even worse in sexual scenarios. I was never raped and the closest I have come to abuse was with a guy online when I was underage but honestly I don’t think that triggered me to be this way because I felt exactly the same way before that. I just feel very disconnected with myself and my body and I usually do a good job ignoring it. I probably sound crazy but I really wish I was an invisible entity and didn’t exist in anyone’s life.

No. 596292

He lives in Canada and I live in Europe, due to Rona we haven't been able to meet up. He basically told me how hard he's had it and how dare I "abandon" him after he's gone through so much, like bitch I haven't suffered?

No. 596308

I feel like this too. If someone calls me by my name or if I find out I've been talked about in my absense I get triggered the fuck out and wish I could just not exist. No object permanence allowed. I wish I could just erase all memories of me from other peoples minds. I keep compulsively deleting all of my social media posts after a while too because I hate having any reminders of my own existence.

No. 596345

My friend put me in a groupchat with a bunch of friends from our uni exchange so we can have a zoom call to try and recreate the vibe from over a year ago. Kinda scary for my social anxiety but this isn't the real issue.

The problem is one of the guys in there cheated on his gf with me. I was incredibly naive at the time so now I feel lowkey used, disgusting for even partaking in this, and I frankly don't want to anything to do with this guy unless we're somehow in the same country and everyone insists on meeting up again.

My friend knows this (don't know why she added me…) and I'm pretty sure the guy regrets ever coming up with the idea. I had a whole ass loving relationship in the meantime and I'm still dealing with the breakup, I don't need this shitty throwback to the past.

How do people cheat within their own circles? Everyone is separated by oceans and I can't even deal with the guilt and disgust, ffs.

No. 596358

Ask him to go into detail as to why he likes girls like you and if he avoids answering that's red flag. Because yeah, men have a strange habit of fucking and dating girls who arent their type, then getting pissed off at the woman for it.

No. 596362

my sister just booked a holiday at the end of the month and I feel like I'm the only one in my family who thinks its a stupid idea. So much could happen, there could be an increase in cases and she could get locked in the country, she's travelling whilst the pandemic is still happening, she would probably lose all her money if it has to be cancelled. I can't help but feel like it's selfish as well, she goes on holiday multiple times every year and she couldn't hold off just this once? when theres a literal active virus going around? my family are just ignoring me when I say anything about it just talking over when I mention anything slightly wrong with it.

No. 596363

To be fair, there are always multiple active viruses going around

No. 596367

I wanted to get rid of a "friend" because he just has a fucked-up mindset, is a "daddy dom" and thinks he's way smarter than he is.
I sent him a terf meme like 20 mins ago, got the blue check and he hasn't responded. Hope he blocks me.
I did it because i know he would get triggered by a meme (although he's ok with sexist memes and only into biological women).
Kinda nice that it's so easy to cut people off your life by being a "terf" (im not even terf or radical fem, but trans memes are funny). but makes me feel sad that if i sent this to a friend i liked, they'd also go PC and start acting distant.

No. 596371

To be real, none quite with this level of seriousness. >>596362 Your sister sucks and I'm sorry to hear, shit must be frustrating. Nothing you can do for her sounds like.

No. 596374

my boyfriend is going through a depression over a close family members death and one of his family members is finally helping him out and getting him through it when nobody else, even me, could help

(sorry for vague details)

i'm glad and happy he's finally gotten the support he needs. but im also jealous. and not just because I couldn't be that person for him, its because the person who raised me is dying too. and I know when It comes down to it and I'm in that depression after her death, nobody will try and help.

I like this guy. we have similar situations, similar issues. but I know when the only parent in my life dies nobody is going to make the effort to come into my room, help me clean, buy me things I need, tell me its ok. I don't need reassurance on that, its a fact, its just been proven over the years that any family I do have doesn't give a fuck or isnt capable of giving that kind of help. And I don't think he can do it either, just like I couldn't do it for him.

watching his depression over that death has just confirmed for me that I will be a zombie after my only parent dies in my early twenties (they have a few years left tops). And the loneliness is insane. All I can do is try and seperate myself from everyone and learn how to be truly alone and okay by myself without needing anyone, but I still wonder why I had to go through this

No. 596376

I did try and help him btw, as did some other family members, but he didn't respond to it, nobody could dust him off and set him back on a positive path. People need parents. when they're gone or they die in your twenties when you're still learning how to be an adult its insane

No. 596381

Pff, I hate to say it but I think I'm outgrowing my 2 lifelong bffs. They're my last link to my hometown, my home country really. and obviously my 2 closest friends who have been there for me through thick and thin and vice versa.
And we've always had banter (insulting each other in a humourous way), one's known for being a stupid bitch, the other a petty bitch and me an angry and bitter bitch (go figure, I'm on lolcow).

Anyway, petty has a proclivity for sending dull work related news and I replied "cool" because wtf do you say to work from home being extended a few weeks? Then stupid says "lol what a bitchy reply" to my "cool" and petty agrees. And it feels like I'm being nitpicked for no reason?

And then petty tells me he's feeling stressed out from workload so I suggest we all play co-op this evening but I'd need to stop at a particular time because my flatmate sleeps then and I often don't notice how loud I'm being when gaming. So petty says "oh an hour after that would be ideal though" so I say "the time I said is my boundary, I want to be considerate to flatmate" and you know what he says? "one hour isn't enough" so I'm like "well if it isn't enough that's a shame and we'll call it off, check your tone". To which he then backtracks and says he wasn't demanding, it just would've been preferable.

And it's just like all this feels a bit…power gamey? Idk, I just wanted to suggest something fun he could also destress with and he's making demands. And it's like sometimes they gang up and let's say petty is being rude, and I'm like "uh that's rude? fuck off", then stupid and petty both act as if what I said was unforgivable and uncalled for.

When we hung out in person it felt more organic and balanced, we'd laugh when stupid acted stupid or joke when petty was being petty. But since it's all over text with those 2 still in the same hometown hanging out, I feel the ire can be skewed towards me more often than not. Sometimes when I go off on their immature behaviour I get emoji replies. Other times it's "oh sorry it was meant as a joke". But it's not funny? After a bit it's just uninspired and I wanna say can you stop replying in emojis you BORING CUNT but instead I just mute them for the rest of the day.

I can't tell if i've actually outgrown it, or maybe living in a culture that doesn't have banter has affected my perception of it. I don't want to lose them, when the chips are down and my life goes to shit they're so supportive, but the daily interactions can tire me.

No. 596399

I don't know what to do about my mother. I've cut her off several times but I feel bad about it.

The thing is, she's never given me emotional support ever. Also she's never treated me as an equal, either she behaves like a child and expects me to make decisions for her, or she treats me as a child and tells me what I should do with my life, there's no balance. Her emotional intelligence is zero. When she is angry, she stops talking to anyone for days and expects everyone to read her mind and figure out what they did wrong. She is also the only one who's allowed to be tired. Your problems are always minuscule compared to hers. You'll never work as hard as she does, whatever you do. I've also recently found out that she lied about a health condition I had as a child, making it sound much more serious than it actually was, which sucks because I would have loved to cross off one item from the 'What is wrong with me' list as an always insecure, shy and sickly kid. She has always compared me to my cousins and if any of them did better in anything (got better grades, learned to drive sooner, earned more money etc.) she became angry, felt personally insulted and urged me to do better.

I just can't see us ever having a normal relationship, so should I even bother? Thinking about even talking to her on the phone makes me have an anxiety attack. If I were to try and maintain a normal relationship with her, I would have to open up but I don't want to be vulnerable anymore. And I don't see the point of a neutral relationship, where we meet once a month and talk about impersonal things like weather, world news and politics. I just want to be understood by her. I want her to want to see my point of view for once. My best friend says that she had a similar relationship with her father and he changed his ways and I should just be patient. She also says that I should work on our relationship just because she is my mother and she is 'family'. But I'm no sure that reason is enough for me to want to work on it. Ugh, anyway, sorry for writing a fucking novel, y'all.

No. 596439

anon your post freaked me out it hit so close to home. Thank you for writing it. My mum did the same, normalized abuse in my life, her and her bf hit me alot, said that when my bf hit me it was probably my fault, read my diary as a teenager, refuses therapy, treated my brother/men like Gods. Now she says everything is in the past and I need to get over it. When I tried to cut contact she called the police for a wellness check. I feel so deeply broken. She would say things then deny saying it 5 minutes later then tell me I was hearing things because I was mentally ill. This led to years of me medicating myself with the help of my Doctor because I spent years thinking I was actually insane and just made-up situations in my head.

it really helps seeing other anons talk about how they are only now starting to process things. She always tells me "it was so long ago, get over it" and I start to feel like I'm being a baby. But I didn't even understand that my mom hitting me and choking me was wrong until I was in my 20s because I allowed my bfs to get away with doing it, too. Now I know it's wrong and it opened flood gates. I ask people things sometimes like "is it ok if your mom reads your diary and tells your family what's in it? Is that normal?" and they look at me horrified and tell me no, it isn't. Did you guys fucking know that it's not normal for someone to scream at you for 10 minute if you pill a drink? I sure as fuck didn't. I spilled at a my house when my and my bf first moved in and i almost had a breakdown apologising to him. He just looked at me like "it's fine! It was an accident!" I feel like I was gaslighted so long I'm still confused on what's acceptable and not.

This is so fucking dumb but sometimes that modern family show is on and I get so jealous of Phil Dunphy, the dad. he seems so sweet and caring. I wonder what i would have turned out like if i had a goofy dad around that cared for me and supported my hobbies.

No. 596446

I hope this is the right place to post but holy fuck I HATE this weird femboy trend that’s been going on everywhere. It’s just so gross and makes me super uncomfortable. Only thing is I can’t put my finger on what makes it so weird…

No. 596448

this is probably going to sound dumb but i'm really sad because my dog doesn't like me so much anymore. i got him as a puppy 4 years ago when i was going through a really rough time and he was my best friend. we would cuddle together and play and i'd always rub his belly. but then we got another dog after a year and ever since then he just..changed. he's really reclusive now, doesn't care much for playing and always goes into his bed. he gets protective of his bed/blankets and when i go to pet him he gives me a death glare and growls at me. he doesn't bite me but he gets really nasty. now i don't spend much time with him but i spend more time with the other dog who is much sweeter, loves to play, would never hurt a fly. both of my dogs love each other though and cuddle together a lot, they share the same parents and they are the same breed (king charles cavaliers.) it makes me sad because i'll try to include my first dog in playtime but he's not really that into it and prefers to lay down. i know this is such a stupid problem but i feel so guilty when i spend time with my other dog while my first dog just lays by himself and watches. i wish i knew some way to bond with him or show him that i love him even though he's a grump now but i don't know what else to do besides giving him lots of treats. i love the fuck out of both of my dogs so much and i know when my first dog is gone i'm going to regret all the time we didn't spend together. im sure dogs don't think this deeply, or maybe they do, but it breaks my heart to think my first dog feels abandoned and rejected because we got the other dog. he definitely has his moments of sweetness but it's rare. it makes me so sad

No. 596455

its just retards being memed into another fetish

No. 596462

I like it because for one men are the ones being put into a vulnerable place and fetishized lmao. I hate it when scrotes make it all about their dicks though, it should be just a female gaze trend imo.

No. 596463

I hate everything about myself. My face, my body,my voice, my personality. I can't think of one positive trait that I have.

No. 596467

Why do I obsess over things about my body I literally can't change in any way

No. 596475

File: 1596554993942.jpg (43.5 KB, 455x224, 9fa4905d-e78d-49df-ae89-0ad4e4…)

I just had the stranges thing happen…

Some backstory: my ex and I have been together since we were teens and broke up in our eraly 20's (it was a ldr), we're still friends and close (we talk like once every two weeks about life/work) and he's in a new relationship. He and his current gf have been together for almost a year now, never met her but the three of us had an "online threesome" (pls don't judgde me) and she was waaay more into me than him, idk if it was just for show or not since she claims to be het.

And now she contacted me if I could make a nsfw video for my ex so she can "surprise him" with it since he's been overworking himself again. If she asked for advice as to what gets him off I wouldn't mind, but why this? She claimed that she's too tired and unmotivated to have sex with him but that the video would "help them". She's chubby and apple shaped so I wonder if she's just insecure about her body or just in general (him and are are both fit)? Is she secretly a lesbian? Like lady wth are you doing lmao

I'm not hating on her or anything but that seems so incredibly odd. I also hope she doesn't read here

No. 596477

a woman who does an online threesome with her boyfriend's ex is bound to be weird as shit. you go on lolcow, she asks for sexy videos because she doesn't want to have sex.

No. 596480

Recently I stanned for an acquaintance on social media when she came out about her harassment story with some dude in our mutuals. Not only was I blocked by this dude for showing support on her end but also by the mutuals who stanned for the dude.
Noticed that she deleted me somewhere along the line since then. I can't imagine for what? I don't post anything political on my social media. But the only other thing I could think is when I had some dude drama recently myself, she was nowhere to be found. If that's the case–unless she's a militant covid-fag and got upset when I posted pics hanging out with my three friends–that is pretty shitty. I'm kind of mad I stuck my neck out for her when I honestly could have just let her deal with her own shit if this was gonna be the end result regardless. I didn't do shit to her, why do bitches be like this?

No. 596487

My on/off boyfriend of 7 years finally hurt me enough for me to block him for good. I’m grieving and he started an argument with me after I felt I had to apologize for “expecting him” to comfort me properly instead of giving me silence and “I don’t know what to say that isn’t retarded.” He’s been supporting me financially and even that can’t get me to stick around after the bullshit argument ending with him saying “I’m glad we only care about ourselves.” Fuck him. I never felt like I could depend on him for emotional support that didn’t involve some kind of critical behavior. He was only able to help me feel better by shitting on the assholes at work I let walk all over me because I was too scared to get fired if I stood up for myself, or just validating that I wasn’t overreacting about something. I felt like his lack of compassion was dismissal and even if it isn’t the case I don’t want to make excuses for why I’m with someone that doesn’t make me feel safe and secure. I didn’t like that I felt pressured every time he initiated sex, not because he was pushy (he was sometimes) but because I never felt good about giving him my body. I always felt like he was secretly a much worse, more evil person than I was able to see and it terrified me. He did a lot of awful shit to me throughout the years but I played therapist like a Good Girlfriend and taught him basic empathy. Seeing how he acted in this situation made me realize I deserve a partner that is able to fulfill my needs as much as I fulfill theirs. I’m sure his perception of the relationship isn’t great either so I think I’m doing us both a favor. Even though I’m terrified to get another job because I’m an at risk person during the pandemic I can’t go on like this anymore. It’s miserable to go through the motions like this and then get shit on by him like it’s any other day when I’m devastated over a loss. I didn’t even want to tell him because he didn’t comfort me very much in the past with other losses but I didn’t want to deal with being pressured for sex when he’s clueless about what’s going on with me. So my mistake. The deliberation with myself over telling him made me realize what an emotionally draining and soul crushing relationship this is for me and yeah. It’s done. I would feel so lost and alone if I wasn’t able to reconcile with my family. I had to cut a friend off two weeks ago and realized a few days ago that I need to cut off my best friend from high school too. It’s like, I learned my worth and i unlearned a lifetime of abusive dynamics but realizing i were surrounding myself with abusive people only to cut them out and face the reality of developing healthy relationships is terrifying. I know this is the only way I’ll be able to keep building and maintain my self respect so there’s no way I’ll back out.

No. 596506

ugh i’m trying to make money doing findom during this covid shit at home but roommate LOVES to hang out near my bedroom door all day. sure he doesn’t know and he wouldn’t judge, but i don’t want to have to say “hey, i’m doing these things rn and i need you to give me some more space”. we have a 1,700 sq foot HOUSE that we are renting with TV’s upstairs and downstairs. yesterday i was using my vibrator because i thought he wasn’t in the house. after i came, i heard him shuffling around outside my room?? he’s gay but i wouldn’t be surprised if he trannied out in the next few years. he’s NB~ at the moment and has major daddy issues. i’m honestly afraid he’s listening in so he can “take notes”. not to mention he’s of course one of those gays who’s obsessed with artists who are black women….and i’m a hip black woman lmao. pray for me y’all

No. 596508

File: 1596561132177.jpg (54.82 KB, 735x728, Girl.jpg)

>online threesome

No. 596510

You sounded kinda jealous tbh. You didn't skip a beat bringing her body up

No. 596513

my father passed and i don't know what to do. he didn't have a will or anything. i don't know what's going to happen to my health insurance, car insurance, phone plan, everything was under him, he took care of everything. is there someone i can talk to about this? someone that can help me figure out what the hell to do? i'm so lost and scared, anons

No. 596514

Is it a common relationship pattern that the woman 'wears the trousers' so to speak? All of my friends are in relationships like this and constantly say/complain that men are like children whom they have to take care of and they have to do everything

No. 596517

Sorry but you're all fucking weird and enmeshed as hell so acting like her wanting to see you in a private video (maybe for herself, but what difference does it make at that point) doesn't seem like such an out of the ballpark request. You all cybered with each other ya freaks. Like if you were trying to get over your ex good luck with that now.

No. 596526

The problem with millenial/zoomer men is that they've been raised to be useless. A good majority are manchildren who think playing video games and consuming merchandise are admirable personality traits. They've neglected learning anything in the trades, domicile, or finances. Now when women seek relationships, they're half expecting to encounter manbabies who need to be trained in how to handle life and function in their relationship.
Women are now feeling forced to take the lead in all aspects of the relationship, or else fear they will wind up alone. Women are settling for bullshit more and more while society condescendingly cheers us on as "superwomen." Despite feminism making strides to ensure that women must now go to work 40 hours a week, hand over half their paycheck, support their family, pick up after their so-called partners, be handy, and take no nonsense while simultaneously being unfaltering saints–it has yet to shake up the notion that women can be seen as normal, complete individuals without a het relationship.

This is what we get. "Wearing the trousers" is a fucking cope to prevent the acknowledgement that they saddled with losers.

No. 596528

I prefer women so no

Nah, I'm over him, I only did it because I haven't gotten laid in like a year

Man, reading it all again we sure are weird lmao

No. 596549

do you have any relatives that can help you out? I'm sorry for your loss anon and the worries on top of it.

No. 596555

Sigh. My ex seems like he could definitely improve (hard worker when he does have a job, understands the value of money, doesn't like asking for help etc) but right now, he's in the useless stage. Like he knows what he should do to be a real man in his early twenties but just isn't doing it, while feeling bad about not doing it. Maybe it's a mix of some form of depression and being let off the hook/babied by his mom. He often only does things when asked to.
Ffs my mom would've disowned me if I failed 3 full years of college.

So yeah. Yeah it's common.
Hell, even many of my more successful and self sufficient male friends have disgusting sinks, or only ever make plain rice/pasta.

No. 596584

File: 1596566301582.jpg (87.93 KB, 862x486, 1393991157732.jpg)

I'm officially laid off. I'm studying to become a Pharmacy Technician but I was hoping for a few more months of cushioning while I finish the class. Now I don't have a cert and no job.

No. 596595

Wow, this is a much more detailed answer than I have anticipated, thank you

No. 596649

Seriously considering finding religion just to finally get over the anger I have towards the guy that groomed me. He came into my life as literally everything in it went to shit and exploited that to perfection - but it's shaped my entire personality and influenced everything I've done since. I feel like I spend my life fixing everything he broke and I want to kill him for it.

No. 596669

Is therapy available to you? Therapists are far better trained to tackle those issues than priests and ministers anon. I'm not saying you should avoid religion but I wouldn't rely on it entirely for something like this.