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Feel like shit? So does everyone in this thread. Vent to your heart's content.
Last thread: >>>/ot/583139
Yeah for real. It's venting not "give your asshole opinion for someone's worries"
Anyways, not sure if you're the anon but I've been there before, especially in college. It's tough to break out of it. I recommend getting into an activity that totally takes you out of social environments. Like crochet? Drawing intrinsic geometric art? something that uses both hands and allows you to be by yourself for a bit, while listening to music or watching a show.
That's at you see how much you dont need those men to feel excited.
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im just love letter blogposting so i can scream my feelings into the void sorry
i had never felt romantic love until i met you. i thought that part of me was missing–like i was fundamentally broken. i've floated through relationships, but i couldn't surrender myself to them. it was all play acting; i'd resigned myself to surface level attraction and empty words.
our meeting was unlikely. it feels serendipitous, strange, even a little scary. i feel awake now. your belief in me sparked a hope i had lost years ago. you feel like home. at last, i can be vulnerable. every piece of me is yours, because i trust you'll treat them gently. i'll use each ounce of motivation and love that i can muster to lift you up–to lift us both up. together, we'll be okay.
i told you i loved you tonight, and for once i meant it. it was so easy to halfheartedly spout "i love you"s to those i didn't care for, but when i tried to tell you i could hardly get the words out. they felt heavy. they felt real. and the happiness i felt when you took my face into your hands and reciprocated my feelings–that was real, too. for once, i'm at peace.
on the one hand, vaguing you probably isn't the best thing for herself, but on the other hand you did fuck up. you even admit to it. if you do something like whatever it is that you did, you have to deal with the consequences.
when people are hurt, they get messy and hold grudges. that's one of the many reasons why we avoid hurting people as much as possible.
just try to do right by the people who still love you. that's all you can do, really.
that's fair, and I understand I've made my bed and I know I have to deal with the consequences. It's just frustrating, probably because I know there's nothing I can do to fix it. I think I will just avoid social media for a good while.>>591093
yeah, thanks anon. I don't want to let this one mistake define me, and without going into much detail I am making necessary steps to change from it all. But I guess the current fallout I will just have to get through.
I wasted 1.5 years with a dud boyfriend. I really need to be harsher when I see the flags. Like a year ago I was trying to save little fishies that went into an overflow pond that had since dried up, and I was trying to scoop them up and throw them back in the main pond while then-bf watched, I asked my bf for help and he was just like "nah". Like who wouldn't help? What kind of person wouldn't help dying fishies!?
And I was in the situation where we saw someone struggling with something heavy and I suggested he offer to help and he's like "nah" despite being able to handle it fine while I would've struggled, leading to me asking if they wanted help and we both struggled while he just sat there.
Also when I requested something of him he wasn't comfortable with, he'd assure that he prioritises himself first. Which…isn't a wrong thing to do, but I personally felt like it went to extremes. Like if it MILDLY inconvenienced his wants that would always come over something I felt really strongly about. It messed with me, honestly. To say "hey this is really important to me" and he'd say "well I want to do it so sorry to hurt you but I will".
And yet, he'd go out of his way in general to do super nice things for me. He was a model boyfriend until it was a bit difficult for him. And I just had a hard time because 95% he'd be fantastic, he'd go an hour out of his way to surprise me with some niche item I'd had my eye on, make elaborate breakfasts, it's hard to summarize. Then the 5% he was a completely self serving ass if things were difficult in a way he didn't like making me question opening up about things i'm uncomfortable with or demanding anything, or if it inconvenienced him while not benefiting him (like helping strangers).
In the end I can't even tell if he was a bad boyfriend. I picture being heavily pregnant and asking him to cancel plans for him to say "uhhh well I want to go, so no". And I mean, I guess being selfish when the going gets though is worse than being a little selfish when it doesn't matter, you know? I guess I'll be single for a while as I figure my feelings out about it. This vent was cathartic tho.
A little while ago I had a massive crush on a girl who was suspected gay. She was a friend of a friend, waist length hair and so FIT. She had a slim, long body and was so playful, positive and energetic. She tried hard to get to know me but I was so nervous around her that I was more uncharismatic than I naturally am. I tried to actually make small talk on fb (which I have never done) after meeting but she ghosted me after 1 reply. I get it though. I could hear myself talking and I was so dull I just wanted to stop mid sentence. I exuded negativity, lazyness and probably made other people uncomfortable just due to my level of discomfort. The conversation would always quickly peter out with her, but when she listened in to me being my more natural self talking with my friend she was smiling and laughing, like I'm sure I could've bonded with her.
It just pisses me off that I actively work against myself the more attractive they are. Like I'm already depressed and anxious, why make it worse when I'm around attractive people, and alleviated when around uglies? Not that uglies are bad, I'm ugly. But I've been thinking about that woman for years now, she's my ideal type, and maybe if I played my cards right she'd be smacking MY ass and groping ME today with serious intention instead of """playfully""" doing it to our mutual friend.
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I want a best friend so badly. I don't even want a group of friends, just one person who really gets me and likes me as much as I like them. Any "best friend" I've had in my life always had someone more important to them than me. And I just want someone to do silly things with, like go get fast food at night and blast trashy music and play video games together and get drunk and just have a good time with each other. Fuck this is really pathetic and juvenile and lame but I just want a best girl friend so badly. I feel like my standards for friends are way too high and I'll never meet anybody because I'm too much of a weird autist with dumb interests that nobody in real life would share. Kinda wish I could dox myself to see if there's any chance of a farmer living in my area because this place is the only place I've ever felt there are actually other women like me.
Same anon. Sometimes I think I've just being silly by wanting something that exists only in films and books, but then a friend or coworker will tell me about their best friend and I know that it's real and I don't have it.
I've had really close friendships like that before but they always either move away or they only want to hang out as a couple once they get a boyfriend.
Thank you, I really hope I will!>>591161
Totally agree with you. Sometimes I wonder if my expectations have just been ruined by corny teen movies but I know that there are actual friendships like this in real life. Feels bad.>>591164…east coast USA>>591166
That sucks, sorry anon. My only two friends are both out of state 90% of the time for school, so I never get to see them. And when they live somewhere else they have their own lives in that place with their own local group of friends so it never quite feels the same, sigh.
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I'm 25 and I don't have my driver's license yet. I've never even tried. I've had some driving practise (with friends and family) and I'm not so scared of the driving itself, I'm just so socially anxious and can't handle criticism (I start crying easily), especially from men. I don't feel comfortable with the thought of being inside a car alone with a strange man who is giving me shit. Unfortunately, there are no female instructors where I live.
I'm about to sign up for the first aid class you have to take in my country before registering for driving classes. I'd appreciate any encouragement.
Any other man-hating and socially anxious anons who have managed to get their driver's license?
I’m with you on this. >>591170
You need to see a therapist, take some meds, log off the internet and stop expecting the world to coddle you.
Moo to you.
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Im freaking out because my art is shit and i feel like i stagnated on growth, im 21 and when i compare myself with other artists on the same age range I want to die, my art doesn’t fucking hold up, and this was literally my career plan, im going to college for illustration work.
Sometimes I feel tempted to trace or do other scummy shit because it has been my dream to work with art and i realized too late im talentless and seem to not be able to get better at drawing past a certain point.
I don’t have money to switch to a degree in another area and I feel like I haven’t improved in almost two years.
Same. For me finances play a big part in not having a driver's license yet, since in my country getting your license is really fucking expensive.
Other than that it's the social anxiety, fear of failure, and finally fear of getting myself killed by being a retard on the road. Then again, I'm sick of having to use public transport for everything, especially during the pandemic I feel nervous sitting in a crowded train.
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Wtf, calm down, this is the vent thread after all. I'm obviously going to do it anyway, as I said in my original post, if you bothered to read it. At least I'm not mid-20s or however old you are and just now realizing that mental illness exists.
i’m pms’ing really bad and i just want my period to come already so i can get it over with. i’m anemic and super sensitive to prostaglandins, so the days leading up to my period (and the first few days of it) are always the worst. the cramps are terrible but manageable with painkillers and typical remedies - it’s the dizziness and fatigue that are driving me insane. normally i just deal with it for the few days it lasts every month because i’m used to it, but with everything happening in the world, i can’t handle this shit right now. i’ve been practically bedridden for almost two days because i’m so fucking tired and lightheaded, and all i’ve done is scroll through my phone reading all the terrible news and it just makes everything feel 100x worse.
BC isn’t even an option, which sucks. i don’t want to try hormonal BC because of all the negative side effects, but i wanted to try the copper iud. my gyno advised against it though because it might make my symptoms worse, and it’s just incredibly frustrating. i feel like i’m cursed.
i’m otherwise healthy and i don’t have pcos or anything to explain it all, just shit genetics i guess. both my mother and grandmother had the same issues as me when they were younger, down to the pms dizziness and everything. their remedy? having a baby. literally both of them said their periods stabilized after they had their first baby. i don’t want a kid right now, maybe not ever, so if that’s the only cure, i guess i’m fucked forever lmao. i probably sound like a whiny bitch, but i’m just so exhausted and anxious for my period to come.
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my exact thoughts man. just because the snow and cow threads are absolute shitshows doesn't mean you have to bring that energy everywhere you go. i get this board can be edgy for edgy sake but i can't be bothered to insult or fuck with people on here, i get enough of that shit on male dominated boards. when i get overtly catty responses i just don't engage, they are probably under 18s anyways
>>591202 > typing style/vocab seems similar. I’ve been getting almost immediate salty responses on stupid shit because of this weird policing in the dumbass shit threads
Noticed too, might be a different anon that I'm seeing but I feel like there's one where I know their usual responses.
They reply so fucking quick, include a laughing reaction image and a big KEK!! Then they make out like they're laughing their ass off because they're responding to the most retarded thing to ever be said!! But they're usually responding to normal shit where it's just a matter of opinion and nothing clear cut?
OP anon, surprised so many people agree honestly! I know that farmers can be bitchy for no reason here and there, but it just seems so frequent lately that it's hard to ignore which is what I normally choose to do. It disrupts the flow of the board, which maybe bringing it up in the first place does as well, but tbh I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who's noticed.
Whether the influx is from PULL or summer/newfags trying to be edgy just because imageboard, like. Tone it down a bit, will ya?
>>591187> At least I'm not mid-20s or however old you are and just now realizing that mental illness exists.
Sad to see someone my age be this fragile. I highly doubt it's mental illness that's your problem. It's the fact that you have likely been emotionally coddled your whole life and actually been permitted to become this way.
>can't handle criticism (I start crying easily)
Enough said. Again: grow up.
They might troon out and come back to their senses eventually, but I feel like too many stay stuck in those genderspecial circles because they're too proud to admit their mistake. Or they're already too far down the rabbit hole.
I'm not super girly, always found certain expectations that people have of women to be bs. I like short hair, comfortable clothes and I don't want to shave my whole body bald. I got therapy for the first time at 21, my mom had just passed away and my first break up closely followed. Despite those being my reasons for visiting we got talking about fucking gender expression?? Being in a vulnerable place I got sucked into her suggestions for the next 12 weekly sessions. After discussing gender to death I quit therapy and secretly experimented with black market hormones for a few months before snapping out of it.
So yeah the therapist that I visited about some very raw grief had ignored that to talk about gender and how that might be 'the cause of my unhappiness' I wasted a year of my life and nearly lost the relationship with my one living parent when he heard my voice change and asked what was going on.
When my mom died it was just before a religious holiday so I remember they kept her body in storage for over a week before anything could happen, worst week of my life. Something about that added element of 'being stored' fucks you up.
It'll be a pretty gradual thing but remember you won't be in this intense pain forever anon. You're dealing with the worst part right now.
you sound emotionally constipated
it's okay to cry>>591383>therapist are being handed money under the table by big pharma
could've stopped there
Dude, therapists like this are the absolute fucking worst. The ones who decide that there is only one reason why you feel any type of way, especially if they're big time Freud/Jung stans and all of their insights are mostly psychoanalytic and esoteric in nature.
I had one therapist a few years ago who was trying to convince me that a severe dissociative episode and subsequent fear of death that arose as a result wasn't actually a fear of death, that it was "purely metaphorical" because I was "starting a new chapter in my life." Bitch, I'm in survival mode and I'm afraid of dying because my nervous system is so out of whack that it literally thinks I'm dying. Like how the fuck is that helpful shit
They may have damaged their bodies, if they stay too long. The fact of the matter is that nothing regarding the troon community is healthy. It requires ingesting tons of drugs in order to maintain.
If they get to the point where they can't ever go back to being 'normal', they may rationalize that they've changed and there is no going back.
If that had happened to me, I don't think I would've been able to stop myself from at least lightly slapping him back, especially if he's big for his age.
It's good that you didn't, in the end, though. Teaching him more violence would be counterproductive. His home life is already dysfunctional, and the cat thing is disturbing. It's probably best to stay away from him unless you catch him hurting animals or something, frustrating as it is.
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fuck paypal and their retarded 21 day hold. i have 100$ waiting on me and i need it so bad. my fuckin bank account has .27 cents and im out of food and almost the will to fucking live.
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My parents have been fighting for an hour now. It's 1AM. Feels bad, man
21 days?? That's insane. No shame going to a food pantry, anon. Hope it goes well for you.>>591594
I'd yell that you have have school/work tomorrow and you don't need their nonsense at 1am in the morning, jesus christ
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My coworker at a temp job I'm at literally pulled the whole 'You keep calling people Sir and ma'm. I want to do that too but i dont want to assume people's genders." And I thought she was joking, but she wasn't. She's 10 years younger than me, but holyshit– at 18 she's really deep into the whole pro-tranny/gender pronouns bullshit. Poor girl. Hope she doesnt tr00n out in the future or date a tranny for the woke points.
Ntayrt, but baby coco? They talk about her in the soundclout thread. I feel bad for her too. anons were dragging her for being with a rapist, which I get but she must not be in a good place mentally.
She has a terminal (?) illness and it might just be comforting for her to have someone, even if he's trash.
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I feel so stupid, anons. I took my boyfriend back after he broke up with me once, and things have been going really well. Yesterday, I called him out after he pulled some #notallmen shit and he hasn't spoken to me at all since which is extremely abnormal behavior. He was even talking to me after he dumped me. What the fuck. I'm so annoyed, both with him and myself. Slap some sense into me, ladies, I feel like a fool. I've said, "girl, dump him," to strangers for much less.
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damn man got so much clown makeup on you probably ate a little. no worries, just time to banish him
Nayrt but I think they mean you can't say "thank you for stopping by Sir/Ma'am". It feels informal and unfamiliar to just end these sentences without addressing the person in them, it's as if you're not even directing them at any particular person.
It's also a problem when you go up to a group at a table and you can't say "what can I get for you today ladies/guys". I used to just use guys for everyone but that's not allowed anymore, and saying "you all /everybody" doesn't always work if you're just trying to refer to a specific group. I'm ready to use gender neutral language when it exists but nobody can agree on what that actually should be.
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One of my coworkers flirting tactics with me was talking about how ugly he was and pointing out minuscule flaws about his face, like one eye being higher than the other or his nose being crooked. There’s only so many times you can say “oh my god no you are completely normal looking!” (Cause he was???) before you want to tear your hair out. Why won’t anyone learn that confidence is fucking sexy and also you can always looksmaxx by doing simple shit like loosing weight and getting a better haircut or buying better fitting jeans. Same coworker is just a friend of mine now, he asked me one day if I didn’t take him up on his offer to go out because he’s so hideously ugly and I got to point blank tell him, no, it’s cause you always say stupid shit like that and it gets on my nerves!!
I had an insufferable coworker who would take flaws of my own (bad skin and being a little heavy, both due to my thyroid problem but he didn't know that) and make it about him, how he had the same issues until he went vegan etc etc.
A. I'm a woman, and a different human being entirely so maybe my body works different?
B. I was mostly vegan at the time, only eating cheese occasionally at work because the only vegan option they sold was too grim for me.
This same guy also made comments about me having a mixed race boyfriend, saying 'i wouldn't expect that from you'. piece of trash.
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The air conditioner is broken on one side of the house and no one told me so I only found out an hour ago when I walked into my parent’s bedroom to use their shower.
They left their windows open, so it’s 90F in the room/hallway and when I put a container of ice in front of a fan I accidentally dumped it on the floor and all the ice melted
I got two years left on my contract and I'm planning on just fulfilling it. I don't care anymore, been in for 7 years. I have been treated like shit for being the fReE sPiRiT personality, sexually harassed with nobody calling out the perpetrator, been abused by someone I used to call my boyfriend,(got PTSD from said abuse.) had both the first sergeant and mental health provider making fun of my personal demons, get treated like a retard when I have ADHD, lost a chance to promote for seeking treatment, and I have spent my early 20s just trying to impress people who just don't care. I'm sick of it all.
The retirement benefits are not worth putting up with depression and anxiety with an indifferent organization.
I'm so sorry anon. The people I know in the military are men. They both tell me that sexual harassment is the norm, and that it just adds to the feelings of helplessness/hopelessness knowing there's nothing they can really do help the victims
, since it's so deeply embedded into the culture that even the higher ups are doing it. Both these guys were already messed up from a shitty home life and it breaks my heart knowing that being in the military is just adding to the trauma. Thankfully, both their contacts end within a year.
I feel like the military is almost designed to prey on people who are already vulnerable like that, and being treated like shit is already normal for them. It's like an abusive
relationship on a whole different level.
Thank you anon. :)
Yeah it really is like being in an abusive
relationship sometimes. These people preach about how we should together like a family
This is not a family. This is bullshit. I've started having some anti-military thoughts overtime with how myself and women in general get treated.
The leaders chant about holding people accountable, reducing suicide, reporting sexual assaults, and addressing racism…okay cool. Do something about it and tell shitty people they're being shitty and humiliate them. Don't just put out surveys and facebook posts and expect results. Do something!
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I don't know what to do with my life, i feel like it's already ruined by being born in such an awful country. I have the opportunity to get the Italian citizenship thanks to my grandmother, but i feel like nothing will change even if i move. I am scared of doing all the paper work, research, learning the language and then realizing that i just don't like to live anyway. I will never fit in, i will never have friends, a boyfriend or the desire to live. The only thing i genuinely enjoy is art, but i don't think the love is strong enough to keep me living for another 70 years, i already find it hard enough to just sit and draw because of how anxious my environment makes me.
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I get bored of all my relationships after a year and a half. I swear to God, it's so annoying when I reach that point. I can't even talk to them properly. Dunno what happens but I just get tired of it. Why?
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Everybody's worthless, we're just making the best of it.
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pining is the dumbest shit on the planet. i just want to hold this dudes stupid big hands and kiss him between his stupid perfect eyebrows. lay his head in my lap. why can't i just be content with loneliness???? I have my cat and my video games why can't that be enough!!
Maan that reminds me of when I went to SuperCuts for the first time and asked for just a trim for my straight bangs. I could just tell that she was trying to fix each side bc the whole thing went on for much longer than it should've. Ended up with one side lopsided.
I learned how to cut my hair on Youtube that night.
Update on this if anyone cares about some sweet karma getting handed to a simp:
So on Sunday night he fired me up again after I made aforementioned post. He kept insisting on calling me instead of typing so there wouldn't be receipts of the shit he would say and gaslight about, but under the guise of "calls are more personal." He kept dwelling on the fact that during our argument I had "made fun of him" when he brought up his issues as to why he suddenly wanted to reverse course and flake out on plans he made with me. Obviously, I don't find someone's depression, bad family, or anxiety funny but the reason why I laughed at him was because he had the audacity to bring personal issues up in order to manipulate me into excusing him treating me badly. It was so pathetic & obvious it was laughable. He kept going on about "wanting to be with me" and "dating and in a relationship are the same thing," but when I asked why he wouldn't show commitment now and to just let me know where I stood (since it makes no difference per his words), he brought up his issues and said to give him unspecified weeks to decide. Wtf, it doesn't work that way! As if he could have it both ways! I posted the laughing bitches gif and told him I'm not to be waitlisted and how pathetic that is after he'd gassed up wanting a relationship with me and been heavy on the flirting. It didn't make sense. I knew he wasn't about me at that point, he was just stringing me along because he liked my attention due to his low self-esteem. He wanted to flirt with me and use my feelings for his personal validation while waiting for that other woman who he'd been courting to finally pick him if only he simped hard enough. Everything made sense in that context, but I wanted to fuck with him because he cared deeply about being the """nice guy""" so I knew he'd never admit to lying because that would go against his carefully crafted ~nice guy~ image.
So he asked me what he could do to prove he cared and was committed? (Way to dump emotional labor, so attractive lol). I said he could come to my get together as he originally promised and suggested, and also to change his social media status to in a relationship–right now–as he only needed a few weeks to get his ducks in order and then he'd be ready for a relationship anyway, so why not now? He stuttered and said he'd do it, kek. He was panicking knowing the woman he was simping to, his exes, and whoever else he might have been flirting with would see it and know he is a liar. This bastard–who works in IT–first off pretended he didn't know how to update a relationship status. I told him to Google it. He did it but in such a way that it dismissed the notification and announcement to let friends know. Lol, I said "Oh let me fix that for you!" I took over and made it so announced so alll his buddies could see. His friends were congratulating him, but I knew he was seething and sweating. At that point he knew he was cornered and would have to try really hard to frame himself as a victim
in order to get out of it without having to admit he was a conniving, two-timing, shitty asshole. I messaged my friends and told them I didn't expect him to keep this up for even a week. We all had a good laugh and placed bets.
He lasted an entire day. He barely talked to me or gave me any attention besides telling me how "uncomfortable" and "put off" he was because I dared mocked him on Sunday, and how he didn't want to see me anymore because me being mean had "soured" him–poor widdle babby! He specifically messaged me at work today to do the ~big dump~ knowing I was busy and couldn't really respond, nor do the ~phone call~ that he so valued before. This he wanted to have in writing. I told him exactly what I knew he was up to and said he would reap what he'd sow. How I was angry that he wasted my time. He tried to give me the sowwy but I weally care and wish you da best but I just cant be with uuu
nonsense lines before I stopped talking. His coward ass gave me some last words, insisted I victimized him, and then blocked me. My friend showed me a cap of his self-indulgent pity post about deactivating his socials to go work on his issues and that he's such a ~nice guy~ and didn't mean to hurt anyone even though he did and got into a relationship he wasn't ready for. And wah. I have no sympathy for him. Women don't get away with using their past issues to be manipulative and abusive
towards men, so.
You know what I did next for good measure? I messaged that other woman he had been two-timing me with. I reached out with genuine concern because she didn't deserve this bastard lying to her any more if she didn't know already.
I showed her all the caps of him having badmouthed her, and bringing her up without any prompt. She was so nice! She assured me that she was already aware of his fuckery, and showed me caps of him trying to cut her off when they had that argument last week. She confronted him about his behavior, but he did that shit where he'd act like the victim
and he was just being considerate uwu
. He had the audacity to tell her to stop messaging him as if he wasn't the one starting it. Then later he would be messaging her back as if nothing happened, like a deranged simp!
Apparently she had put up with this shit for months, she told me allllll the tea like his poor irl hygiene and how he's possessive and controlling. After that, she told him to fuck off, deleted him from her socials, and blocked him. While we were talking she said he was blowing up her phone LMAO, he was straight panicking! All of his simp effort gone to waste chef kiss
Tbh fam I was really bummed initially, even though I expected everything to happen as it did. It just makes me mad that these nerds think they can be alpha players if they just disguise themselves as "nice guys" because they were never confident enough to be shitty to women up front when they were younger. I hope they never get laid, at least this guy won't for a very long time.
Thanks for coming to my TED talk!
I was reading up on a topic on a normie parents' forum written by a teacher who was claiming that boys' bad performance in school is caused by their shitty upbringing that rewards them for being entitled little shits and doesn't expect anything from them. As a side note I'm ESL and live in a country where girls constantly excel over boys at school and proceed to get a higher education and MRAs unironically think this is oppressing them. The replies made me want to scream.
>nooooooo it's the school system's fault for favoring girls, the entire concept is built to work better for girls!!!
>it's the school's fault for hiring only female teachers, they are simply unable to teach my little hellspawn!
>It's the female teachers who hate male students! Why, one of them was BULLYING my son who refused to listen to her, told her off and continued disrupting the class!
>Look as a man I distinctively remember school being just boring, of course I had to entertain myself during class! It's not like I could control my behavior or be expected to endure boring things in my life like the girls are! As a man, I am entitled to constant stream of stimulation!
>M-muh testosterone, it's absolute biology for boys to behave like wild animals! The school system should take that into account and stop favoring girls reeee!
>muh ADHD, what do you mean girls are underdiagnosed with it and just have to deal with the symptoms when boys are excused by it all the time?
>I'm a woman myself and even I can see that my little boys are more rambunctious than my friends' daughters, it just MUST be biology you know? Feminists need to stop hating men!
>When BOYS are talking during class it's disrupting, when GIRLS do it they're always let off scot free!
>Yeah I know boys spend 10 hours on average playing games instead of doing schoolwork b-but girls spend all their time on social media, at least video games are more intelligent!
etc. Enraging. People keep making excuses for boys all the time, nothing is never their own fault or the result of our society and gender roles coddling them.
They don't want you to suffer, they want you to learn to fight for yourself. Big difference and their motives come from a good place of care, not a bad place of resentment.
Every person needs to learn to fight for themselves so they can have a good life. Your parents learned to do this by going through hardships, and they don't know how else to impart that vital knowledge onto you, but they know they must so they try regardless.
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My friend always makes these passive aggressive comments about me being slow and in contrast how energetic and quirky she is and it drives me fucking insane
God i wish i were an amerifat, i was born in Argentina. I hope you the best luck too, America seems like it's going through a really rough time.>>592082
Yeah… i am ashamed of running away, i feel like a coward leaving while my beautiful country is being robbed and destroyed but we also only live once and i don't want to waste my life here anymore.>>592084
That's exactly how i feel. I am 18 and the though of leaving without a college degree scares me, but i also can't stay here and finish my education because the education is terrible here, especially if you study an STEM career. So i don't know what to do, i feel lost and lonely.
I'm 23 too, and i see this feeling rolling around a lot of people our age. I think it's fine to not have 'found yourself' yet, most of my friends are older than me and from what I can tell that feeling doesn't go anywhere fast.
I don't know you so i don't know what to tell you or say, but i hope you can find some small comfort in knowing people here will see your post and relate and sympathise. you are not alone.
Anon, I know how this feels but I promise you that it will
get better. I know this is generic to say but it will
. Everyone feels this way at times and a lot of people have 1 true friend and people they hang with.
you'll find you're place I promise.>>592394
They pop up every thread that has to do with transwomen and are always purposely doing shit to trigger
people. They'll call someone a "cis" woman for no reason, or are obviously Troons or gay men trying to put on a cape.
It's annoying because you can always spot them. I'm thinking of giving all gossipy sites a break does not do much for my mental or my life.
it's just been so depressing since covid. I'm just noticing how many trolls and weirdos have slowly invaded cool spaces.
It’s okay anon, I’m pretty sure most of us have similar looking labia. If it really, really bothers you/makes you feel down, you could try getting a surgery to make it look like a cool pornstar type of labia.
But to be honest, I’m pretty sure most people won’t pay attention to that kind of stuff, unless they’re pathetic incels that have never seen a pussy before other than in porn.
Which is kind of weird because there’s a bunch of “roast beef” type of labia in porn, genetics take a huge part in how it looks, so it’s actually common to see, well, normal looking labia instead of the smooth looking type, I wouldn’t be surprised if there are women doing porn that got a labia surgery just because.
Hope you'll eventually manage to move past is. There's literally nothing ugly about bigger or darker labia, I really hate porn for perpetuating the stereotype that the only right look for the vagina is pastel-pink tiny labia minora completely hidden inside outer lips. It's sad women will get surgeries and bleachings done to achieve that look.
I know there's always some controversy around feminist artists doing projects like vaginas as flowers, or vagina mandalas, but these things actually made me realize how much variety there is and how beautiful is said variety.
Last update from former clown, now free bitch/pedicure-chan.
I was telling my friend we should get dinner bc all I had consumed was a venti black iced coffee and sugar free Red Bull, and the nail lady (who knows us well) whipped her head up so fast and gave me the scariest disapproving Asian mom look. It reminded me of my own mom, kek. We got forzen pizzas, doritos, and had a girls' night. Men are trash, and women are golden and magical, never forget that. Ladies in bad relationships, I say from experience, dump him.
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Aw anon, if you're at that point, it's probably time to go. I'll admit, it's easier for me to leave bad relationships now because I've already probably left the hardest relationship situation and survived it–lived with the man for 3 years and had to move out even though I paid the rent and was the one to break things off despite loving him, all that. It sucked and I wanted to fucking die lol, but pic related.
My sister and best friend at the time weren't around either, I actually became close to my best friend now after moving out because I was able to form better friendships leaving my partner and not trying to force that relationship to be better anymore. If you have to fall back on your parents and they're willing to help you and that's safe, then go for it. I wish you the best. You seriously deserve it, we all do.
My nails look so good, the white was chipping and I went back to a classic red and they're freaking b-e-a-UTIFULLL, thanks for asking!
Oh anon I feel you. I just spent 2 months looking, finally found a place. It's as overpriced as everything is. Bonus, within the first hour of moving in last weekend, I discovered it came with roaches. So that's my current battle.
I hope you have better luck. If they crank the AC, it could be because they are trying to keep the roaches at Bay. Look at every inch while you're there.
He's testing the waters to see if you'll continue to date him despite being a liar who doesn't want to touch you. I'd dump, don't give him the chance to play victim
. He's the asshole.
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I'm so fucking frustrated with myself.
Every single day I tell myself I'm actually going to do something today. Something slightly memorable, even if it's just drawing or taking a walk outside. And yet, somehow, I always end up spending all day fucking around on 4chan or other internet timesinks and not doing anything of value. I'm desperate at this point, I don't know what to do. I know how pathetic it sounds but it's like I fundamentally lack the discipline to change this. I don't want weeks to fly by like they're nothing, but actually making a change and doing something new takes a completely unreasonable amount of energy. I feel like a failure for even having to admit it. Like a millennial who's been ruined by the internet and now has an attention span that literally doesn't allow for more than two minutes of focus. Let alone initiative.
I'm actively wasting my life yet I feel too drained of energy to do anything about it. Like I know that it's up to me to change and I know it's completely my own fault, but it's like I'm in the backseat yelling at myself to get off my ass from the back of my head and being completely ignored.
I'm not sure if you're looking for advice, but I do have a suggestion for you anon.
Say you want to go on a walk tomorrow, you're more likely to do it if you prepared for it.
Tonight go ahead and lay out your shoes and walking clothes for the morning. Pack a bottle of water or a snack and set it someplace on a table near the door. Make sure your phone is fully charged. Look up a place on google if you wanna walk somewhere specific and see what's special around the area, and what places or things you'd want to take pictures of.
I know it sounds cheesy, but if you treat it like a date for yourself you'll be less likely to blow it off.
I just couldn’t believe how soon he revealed himself as being like this, trust me after he sent that he asked me to call him and I told him I’d get back to him in a few days. Amazing how men can really feel so confident with bringing nothing to the table at all, it’s so embarrassing for them. >>592500>>592505
The kicker is he’s super high and mighty about his mental health cause he sees a therapist and has an excessive psychedelics regimen and never does anything fun, so he always projects that he’s sooo well adjusted because he doesn’t like, drink or watch tv like a normal person. It’s like a microdosing, “spiritual” 2020 version of Patrick Bateman.
Thanks, I really appreciate it. I'm going to give that a try.
Being low on initiative means that even a small amount of preparation turns into a hurdle that'll prevent me from doing it, so it's a good idea to try and at least make that hurdle as small as possible.
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Applied to some masters programs back in 2016, didn't get into the one I wanted most, so I decided to step back and work on CV for a while. Now it's 2020, the world's burning around me, and I'm sitting here emailing admissions departments like that "this is fine" dog surrounded by fire. Sometimes I feel like I view graduate school as a pause button on the bullshit. A long vacation from real life. What if I'm getting into it for the wrong reasons?
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I was extremely poor growing up and lived with a video game-addicted manchild who didn't want to do anything or travel anywhere together until I was 24, so I never got to do anything fun except sit in my house while he plays and work on college stuff. I didn't have any female friends because I moved to another country to be with him, then I dumped him when he wouldn't do the same for me for 1 (one) year because he wanted to be close to his mommy. He also talked shit about my country a lot.
I never had money to travel until recently, and now with the rona stuff I can't go anywhere. I also didn't have any female friends until recently (moved to a new country and college classmates were nice but normie gym nuts who didn't want to do much outside of clubbing), now I reconnected with some old friends from my home country but I can't go back to visit them. Despite the restrictions, I see people travelling a lot on my insta feed, and I'm super bitter about it because now that I can afford it, I can't go.
On top of that, my friends are slowly starting to talk about getting married, settling down and having babies. I've dated a tiny bit after I dumped the manchild, but I never found anyone I'd want to settle down with, and right now I want to enjoy just being in a relationship or even alone for a bit. My current bf pressures me into hurrying up because he wants kids and to play house in the next couple of years, and I feel like the whole world is hurrying me along and telling me to settle down asap.
I feel like at this rate I'll never get to see the world past my 4 walls and have fun, travel and talk over coffee with friends. I wasted my early 20s on a piece of shit and now I'm being pushed to play mommy with my bf who wants to baby trap me and society at large. It's just one disappointment after another.
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i play roblox and minecraft
Are you easily able to move back home/move into an apartment without the cats? See if someone else can take them off your hands while you get situated, preferably someone you know who is aware that you'd be trapped in an abusive
relationship otherwise. Otherwise, I'd honestly just try and find someone else to adopt them. I know that's not easy but your life is more important than keeping your cats, anon. This guy is legitimately dangerous and you need to get away from him ASAP.
Oh man, so a few years ago an old friend and I started hooking up/hanging out, it ended unceremoniously when he announced he was seeing someone and left my house in the early hours. He's apologised since and we are all good, still good friends hanging out and air fully cleared.
Thing is that about a year after he and i stopped he started dating someone new, and I became really good friends with her, like i'd consider her a best friend now. I ended up counselling her through their break up with the aforementioned guy. I never told her about my relationship him, and it's been about a year and a half of us being close friends so i feel like the ship has sailed.
she has shared screenshots of things he would say to them over text, like sexual and intimate stuff and it makes me so uncomfortable, I dealt with the exact same stuff just without anyone to counsel me. Whenever she shows me this shit I start to doubt my feelings about what went down between me and him, and i wanna go through my own messages with him (I never do it, it's not worth it) as if thats gonna prove he was more into me? I hate thinking like this i hate it i hate it!
I wanna tell him to apologise to her because I can't take the emotional brunt of cleaning up after him, he apologised to me and i didn't give him a hard time so whats he afraid of? But also i feel like i've received conflicting information about how they broke up and i don't know if it's worth my emotional efforts.
sorry if this is incoherent, it's hard to describe a situation like this and i'm so exhausted by having to wrestle with the whole thing every time he pops into her head.
jfc anon, literally all of this confusion and frustration could have been avoided if you'd just told her up front that you used to date him. the fact that you didn't makes it really hard for me to believe that you were ever truly completely over him. either that or your communication skills are bad enough to warrant extensive therapy.
tbh the whole situation sounds awkward enough to warrant just ghosting both of them if you're not willing to be honest with her about your past dating history with him. it's pretty fucked up that she doesn't know that and has been sharing all these intimate details with you about it.
Well at least you're self-aware. I think telling your friend about your history with him would be the right thing to do if you think the relationship is worth maintaining. Be prepared to grovel for forgiveness though kek.
>I never said i didn't have a relationship with him….
What do you mean? Your initial post just said you were hooking up with him iirc
I meant I never said to her I didn’t date him.
My heads all fucked now, I wish I never posted here it was silly of me. I needed the slap in the face but now I’m scared of the confrontation
>>592634>>592673>Whenever she shows me this shit I start to doubt my feelings about what went down between me and him, and i wanna go through my own messages with him (I never do it, it's not worth it) as if thats gonna prove he was more into me?
This is a very bad sign. You need to move on. Your envy may ruin their relationship and your relationship with both of them. She trusts you, he wants to be with her, not you, don't ruin it just because you want to feel like he maybe preferred you at some point.
There are two routes with possible good outcome. If it really weights on you and you really need to say it - do it. Sit with her only, apologize for never bringing it up before, tell her how you feel and assure her it's not a threat to her relationship. Or, the other way, if you kept quiet for so long and he didn't say anything either, just keep quiet. Never mention anything. It was long in the past, if you really moved on you wouldn't even think of it, so move on by yourself and forget.
Either way please think rationally about it and think about every party involved. I hope everything will be alright.
Let me play therapist here for a sec: do you fear confrontation in general, or do you get a sense that this friend of yours is actually a confrontational person? Does she remind you of anyone?
Don't be so hard on yourself anon. It's not cool that you haven't been up front with your friend, but all of our behaviors have real origins. It's always good to examine these things. It's how we work through problems and do better in the future.
can i just quickly sperg for a second about how fucking stupid post modernism and queer theory is when it's applied to science and anthropology???
"everything including labels and subgroupings are human crafted :)" yea no fucking shit sherlock, bonobos aren't the ones writing thesis on their own relationships to chimps, humans are. but that doesn't negate the fact that bonobos are bonobos and chimps are chimps. it doesn't negate that chimps and bonobos cannot reproduce naturally in their own environments, or that relationships in their dna can be extracted and analyzed so that hybrids can be created in a lab setting. theres a fucking reason why it takes thousands of years for species to interbreed, evolve and thrive. sexual dimorphism exists because it is and was a successful factor in the human race's evolution, it evolved alongside humans to fit whatever environment they found themselves in. i love postulating about how human defined categories such as gender, sex, religion, race can be deconstructed and negated…but standards must be set in order for things to have concrete meaning. you can't just look at an outlier and assume the existence proves the category as null. post modernists straight up have worms in they goddamn brains. they don't even offer new categories, or their new categories make no concrete sense and devalue any meaningful action!
with many (visually) sexually dimorphic species, if an outlier (entirely different species, mutation bearer, etc.) enters a habitat, that outlier will either
1. die without mating, because the normal female/male species will not recognize the atypical phenotype and therefore refuse to mate with the outlier
2. the outlier does mate with another and somehow gives birth (or fathers) a hybrid….that will likely suffer from fertility issues…thus ending the lineage.
if the hybrid species offspring manages to survive, they still will struggle to get mates of the original colony because it's appearance will likely not be typical to the sexually dimorphic species.because of this, it is almost guaranteed that this offspring will subsequently mate with the original outlier (father) and have incestuous offspring. that offspring will mate with it's siblings, parents, etc. often times these early generations will be a. completely wiped out due to lack of successful mating and poor genetic variance, b. be successful for a few generations and then bottle necked back into incestuous cycles, or c. very rarely be successful and will create their own thriving population through sheer luck or environmental factors. see island populations as an example.
when people say shit like "sex is more complicated than this and that", they are surely right to say that. but exceptions only prove the rule. you cannot deny that the entrance of atypical genes, phenotypes and sexual outliers do not perform well in most environments. they live and die without successful mating. if they do mate, their offspring will suffer in the same way that they do. do people not understand how many times the human population bottlenecked and almost went into extinction? and relied on incestuous breeding? weird how families somehow knew that fucking your sister would result in babies. sex is a spectrum my fucking ass. people are so willfully fucking obtuse.
sexual dimorphism isn't a spectrum, there are no third sets of gametes within human dna that serve a purpose in reproduction. any definition of sexual dimorphism can apply to different species in different ways and degrees. even some variations of early hominids displayed very miniscule amounts of sexual dimorphism in their presentation, but these were weeded out (we don't know why or how, but i tend to believe their lack of sex difference contributed to poor survival rates). early hominids were more sexually dimorphic than they are today, showing higher differences in height, weight and other variances. this paired with the ((likely, we cant know for sure how and if it was universal)) polygamous aspect of early hominids allowed for the species to thrive and populate the environment in a greater fashion. so when motherfuckers complain about how sex itself, as a biological factor, is a social construct, i say bitch where? how is it a construct when significant and atypical outliers in a sex dymorphic population are unable reproduce successfully? how is it a construct when hominids knew who to fuck in order to have babies, even if that was their own father or sister? do humans with a DSD who are successfully able to mate and give birth pass on their DSD and create a third sex? no, they pass on their genetics and with that, possibilities of their offspring developing a similar condition, in which they will go through the same trials. there are obviously nuances to the conversation (arguing how sexual dimorphism comes in degrees, how it can change throughout evolution, how we can define it in biology via genetics, phenotype, gametes, etc) but the absolute state of this discourse is so fucking stupid, i had to sperg. i want to go back to school to get a higher degree in anthropology but cannot stand how academia is muddled with post modern thinking that seeks to invalidate concrete scientific evidence. call me a jordan peterson fag, i hate the guy, but fuck post-modernism dominating any relatively scientific setting. it's useless. people need to stop being willfully obtuse in regards to academia, stop pretending you don't know what a man or a woman is, stop pretending that categories are somehow invaluable ways of defining humanity or anything on this goddamn planet.
alright, sperg over, please continue on with your days ladies.
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This was a cool read anon
i feel for you anon, i definitely know a few like her in my circle, lmao. the biggest fuck ups in (cultural) anthropology are the ones who apply modern thinking and assumption towards thousand year old peoples. whether it be prescribing meaning to third genders, ritualistic prostitution, burial sites…the list goes on. don't even get me started on people saying that Hatsheput was a trans man.
the shit thing about this field is that you have to accept that you will probably never know the answer to most questions. the best you can do is speculate on this evidence given, and compare evidence to similar cases from that time and place. it's not a particularly recent phenomenon, i mean the field of archaeology and anthropology was built on bad takes and European biases. but when people are suddenly calling you bigoted for pointing out that sex is fundamental to human evolution and identity, that most human civilization became patriarchal after the neolithic revolution, in not just europe…but africa and asia and america as well. but even some anthropologists are spouting shit like "biological sex is a european white supremacist concept :)" full well knowing that putting a pp in a vagene = babby. if biological sex were a european concept, we wouldn't be here because hominids would've died in africa and never spread in the first place. people are so fucking stupid and think a tumblerer blog is a scientific source.
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Seeing obvious teenagers in comment sections casually mentioning polyamory as if its a normal thing is really worrying.
Thank you anon. Its him that is going through the worst of it all
The most I can do is just be there for him as he gets through this mess
We have such supportive family members despite the distance and I'm extremely glad for that
Dealing with cancer really puts shit into perspective but god it makes me want to cry whenever I think of all the shit we've been through to get here
He was so close to almost dying on me if it wasnt for our current doctor having so much faith in him
The man treats us like a father away from home and has always answered all our dumb questions and put in so much work when he had to be hospitalized at one point
I can never thank him and the nurses that work with him enough
God I'm fucking tearing up just writing this but I seriously have no one to talk to that just let's me get all these emotions out
I have a legitimate argument.
You are too fucking young to get tied down to anyone when you're a teenager.
When I was that age I didn't even know what I wanted to be someday, let alone what I wanted in a husband.
And when you're that young, who you get with can change the path of your life and you can go down a road you regret. Especially when the whole idea of giving your virginity to that one twue wuv has been built up in your head, it can make you be loyal to someone who is bent on destroying all your confidence.
Also think of this too. Don't you think the urge to control the lives of others comes from repressing things within yourself?
At the end of the day these people aren't really affecting your life are they?
It's not like we have control over the greater workings of society, anyway.
Sure these things are out of my control, but there's no denying that there are a lot of problems that come with having multiple partners and growing up in an environment that encourages it. Just seems like a breeding ground for drama and manipulation.
Also these relationships never seem to work out for most people anyway. Not just with teens but also with adults. It a always ends in disaster.
This shit was always being pushed by adults. Nothing new though, it happens all the time on tumblr.
>>592777>why are you okay with that?
I see no reason why I should be against polygamy any more than I should be against monogamy.
>Why should polyamory to be normal to teens?
The post I replied to said the teenagers were "casually mentioning" polyamory. I didn't interpret that as meaning or suggesting that the teenagers themselves are in some kind of polygamous relationship(s). Even then, I don't understand why I should innately be against that, regardless of the age of those involved.
Some other anons like >>592788
have made critiques of polyamory like>i feel like polyamory and the fuller extent of hook up culture really just ends up fucking over girls in particular>Just seems like a breeding ground for drama and manipulation>Also these relationships never seem to work out for most people anyway. Not just with teens but also with adults. It a always ends in disaster>This shit was always being pushed by adults
but in my personal opinion, these situations are equally as capable of happening in monogamous relationships, and these issues aren't issues that are exclusive to polygamy. I suppose I respect people choosing to be in whatever kind of relationship anyone involved in consents to and feels respected in.
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I've been a member of a number of different organizations and clubs for several years now. Also been employed by a lot of different companies as well. Almost every single one always has had some sort of social media page where they promote themselves, post photos/videos of everyone involved, at outings and company events, etc. Without fail, none of the photos or videos chosen as promotional material ever include me in them. The irony is that I'm frequently asked to submit footage of myself for these videos, but it's never used. I'm really not kidding when I say that this has been the case for literally years.
I have body dysmorphia and I never tend to like the way I look in photos to begin with. I have an awkward smile, my chin droops unflatteringly when I smile, my teeth are fucked up/dull-colored due to drinking too much coffee and aging, etc. I'm also aware that I hyperfocus on my flaws, but the fact that it seems like I'm being intentionally left out of group photos and videos taken by people I work with really seems to solidify the idea that I am genuinely ugly and unphotogenic. It fucking sucks and I don't know what to do about it. I wish someone would just fucking be real with me and tell me that I'm a hideous monster so that I can either invest in plastic surgery/dental work or off myself already.
Because they're sexually attracted to the person they had kids with, but cling hard to racial supremacy, because they're insecure and need something to make them feel special just for existing. Some of them make weird rationalizations like "I'm breeding out the other person's race, heh
", but it's a huge cope.
I just wish people like that would sterilize themselves. They always end up giving their poor kids awful complexes (and even attempting to control who they date in life).
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Repulsive. I don't know who, on any side of the political spectrum, is fond of her.
Does your mom have much interaction with people outside of the social media? I don't know anyone over the age of 45 that comes to believe in this shit unless they've been out of work for a long time and don't have much of a social circle.
Some older adults really don't understand that not everything they read on the internet is true, and it really doesn't help matters if they have few people in their life to explain to them why their beliefs are retarded.
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I'm not sure if I can even get plastic surgery. My issue is that I have really lose skin around my chin and neck. It looks like I have a double chin even though I don't. I also have a really weak jawline because of it. They'd basically have to sculpt a new chin for me. I don't know if such a thing is possible and if it is I certainly wouldn't be able to afford it.
My bf also wouldn't support me getting plastic surgery and thinks that I just need to learn to "age gracefully"
Kinda sounds like her racism is stemming from a combination of trust issues and consuming media entrenched in beliefs that tend to espouse white supremacy.
Idk why but I get the feeling she's not even the white one of your parents kek
Anon she sounds super toxic
tbh. Espousing racist views when your own daughter is mixed race is fucking disgusting. You're not responsible for changing her mind. If anything, I would start calling her out on her bullshit if you feel up to it. If not, you might have to consider going low/no contact with her for your own well-being. You don't deserve that kind of treatment. I hope the rest of your family is more supportive than she is.
Swallowing your misery when you look at yourself in the mirror every day is not what "aging gracefully" means. Aging gracefully is looking your best at any age, sometimes that involves a doctor's intervention. You can't age gracefully if you look like a Walmart regular or a saggy leather bag from tanning too much.
Also, what I think of every time a man tries to tell a girl what to do with her own face is that reddit post where a man is seething because his much younger gf is beautiful and her family calls him old at the dinner table so he throws out her skincare to "teach her a lesson".
While I agree with you on a lot of this, part of the issue is that I don't technically hate what I see every time I look in the mirror. The issue is mostly with photos. I hate who I see in when I look at myself in photos something like 90% of the time. Also this is all intensified if my self-esteem is already suffering for other reasons.
I do think I'll at least invest in some dental work and see if that makes a difference. I actually used to like my smile is the sad thing.
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>having extremely bad luck with men
>friend suggests paid dating services
>their rates fucking suck but she insists she's had great luck on it back whenever
>see likes and messages but can't view them due to pay barrier
>fork over $100 when curiosity gets the better of me
>all unoriginal and uninspired messages from some of the most unattractive and boring dudes I have ever laid my eyes upon
I paid over $100 dollars for a website to tell me I attract subpar men. No, no, don't worry. I've already fetched my shoes and wig to match my clown face right now.
At least I have months advance to ruminate on this terrible choice.
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i miss my dog
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It's literally advertised as a way to hide that you're cheating on your girlfriend and it's enough to make me never be 100% loyal to a man, ever again. I will fuck whoever I want because clearly men are not faithful and the whole fidelity meme is just a way to repress and control women and create a narrative that we deserve to be punished for being human.
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I'm sick of people telling me to stop feeling bad because I can't find a job easily, it's not my fault, I shouldn't let it get to me and ruin my self-esteem, etc. like that's gonna bring me money somehow and help me find my own place and pay my food and bills. Give me a job or shut the fuck up.
This is coincidental because I'm trying to figure out a way to tell my friend that she needs to get a job before 6 months or we can't let her live with us anymore.
Except, I somewhat blame her because she had a job and was just too retarded and "unmotivated" to keep it after she moved in with us.
So now she doesn't have it and is whining about groceries. Bitch I'm not letting you stay with us rent free and paying for you to live.
She's the only autist that understands my autistic behavior and I don't wanna lose her but it's getting irritating.
Get a damn job bitch.
You are not alone. This often happens to people because at night it's far more peaceful and there are no distractions, and therefore it makes for a much better working environment.
If you want to get your schedule back in order, keep this in mind. Make it peaceful around yourself - no phonecalls, no chores, no noise etc. If you have a weekend house, it would be ideal to go there when you have a lot of work to finish (this is my go-to solution, isolates me from the hectic city day life so I can focus on work).
>>593071>I somewhat blame her because she had a job and was just too retarded and "unmotivated" to keep it after she moved in with us.
I hate that shit so much. I had a friend who was given her mandatory internship on a silver plate, her job was nice and she worked with a great team, her boss asked if she wanted to be an actual employee for at least 6 months after that and she refused because she wanted more free time to play FFXIV, meanwhile I had to look for my internship for way longer than her because I never had to redo a year in university unlike her, I got my internship by applying, I was treated like a dumbass for no reason or blamed for other people's mistakes, and nobody wanted to keep me because making me an actual employee after that would have been too expensive so they replaced me with another cheap intern. After that I looked for a job for months, couldn't find one because I live in a very competitive place and I'm too poor to move anywhere, and she subtly implied I wasn't trying hard enough. I love her but sometimes I wonder how spoiled she was all her life.>>593065
People in university were shocked that I couldn't even find an internship as fast as them but don't realize I was too poor to move away from our city or even country like them, that I could go abroad on an exchange program like them, I was also too poor to get a driving licence and a car, etc. and that all of this greatly reduced my opportunities. Then in their shitty fb or instagram posts they say dumb shit like "money doesn't bring happiness" like it didn't help them get their degree or live in their own flats with their gf/bf and get more professional experience. Fuck them.
Thank you sweet anon>>592444
I would be your friend if distance wasn't always an issue anon. Perhaps on the bright side maybe having no weird irl but never actually irl friendships frees you up to focus on making friends wholeheartedly. Give the friend finder thread a try, at least it's an experience!
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i'm very worried for my 13 yo brother who struggles with mental health issues. he's about to start middle school/jr high school in a couple of weeks and has 0 motivation. the corona lockdown has taken a toll on him and he has refused to do homework and been isolating himself. our parents also said that he has started to avoid large groups of people. he sees a therapist, but my parents are kinda dumb and don't know how to properly help & motivate him.
have any of you struggled with the same things as my brother? what could someone have done to help you? how do i motivate him? my brother is a very bright and kind kid and i would hate for this to be a negative turning point in his life.
Gang member with Munchausens. What's his ig?
Just got to court and fill out the forms for a restraining order. It's not like your dad is a woman trying to protect herself against the crazy ex, it should be granted.
It's a pretty common time for those issues to kick in. I was a shy kid but at twelve when I switched from primary to secondary level school I freaked out and eventually got a depression/agoraphobia diagnosis. I've struggled with those issues for the 20 years since then. Meds can take the edge off but they affect you differently at that age so you need to be closely watched when starting them.
Tbh I wish less pressure had been put on me when it came to school. I was spiraling and all people worried about was my school attendance. I went back to school before I was ready, teens being assholes could tell I was vulnerable and it made matters worse. He needs to feel ok when he walks in those school doors, build up his confidence in advance with some pep talks. It's a tough situation though, expect some ups and downs.
You’re right. I don’t respect him at all. He’s an orbiter with an inferiority complex who triggers
me when he feels like he can get away with it. I don’t demand his time. He knows he can make me feel lesser because I’m lonely at home. He has ignored what I’ve said to him about what I’ve been doing instead of socializing. We are both into gardening but his plants were shit so I’m not allowed to talk about it anymore. You’re giving a man way too much benefit of the doubt. What I should do is just drop him.
Yeah, what's the point of keeping in your life a person who annoys you so much? Whatever his reasons are, you're free to drop him and never waste your time on thinking why he did or said something. Totally valid
choice, just go and be free.
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I wish I have a super fast metabolism and smaller appetite! I just want to experience being a super skinny person just once in my life and feel good in my body. I've always been chubby since I was a kid. I wasn't taught a proper healthy diet by my parents. They would just allow me to eat anything and even force my siblings and I to finish all the food on our plate even if we were already full. My parents came from a poor background, so any food wasted is a sin to them. Plus, when I was younger, my aunts and uncles always bring sweets and candies and other unhealthy food whenever they come to visit. Due to this, I develop a love for sweets and sugary desserts.
Plus, my parents also didn't encourage my siblings and I to do or play sports when we were younger. I never joined any sports in school because I don't know how to play any sports.
I also love eating fast foods. When I was young, my parents only got us fast foods for special occasions such as birthdays and other important celebrations. My parents were tight on money during those days, so fast food is considered as a luxury treat. Sometimes, we don't get to eat fast foods for months and had to skip getting fast foods on some birthdays, which my younger self resent so much. But now, once I've grown up and have my own money and independence, I eat fast food all the time (usually two times a week, three if I'm feeling shitty that week). I guess my kid-self is compensating for all the times my parents denied getting me and my siblings our favourite fast foods in the past.
My current lifestyle isn't helping my goal to be skinny too. I'm stuck at a desk most of the time and after work I'm just too tired and lazy to cook, so fast food is the easiest option.
The lowest weight I've been was 48kg when I was in my 20s and during this time I did a lot of walking to and from uni classes. But even when I was 48kg, I still look very chubby due to my unfortunate round and chubby face shape. I still have stomach pooch due to my apple shaped body.
Now that I'm older, it's getting harder to lose or even maintain the same weight. I always mourn the fact that my younger self never got the chance to dress in a cute trendy style. I used to be so obsessed with j-fashion when I was younger but never bothered to give it a go due to being super insecure about my weight.
When will Covid end?! I badly want to sign up for a gym membership. I just want to experience having a nice body and wear cute clothes before I reach my 40s! Aaaghhhh!
Aw anon, you can do it! You know what you have to do. There are unfortunately no quick fixes, but there ARE tons of yummy, healthy foods out there that you can enjoy. Plus, if you're going from doing absolutely nothing, the little changes you make will make big differences!
You can cut out sugary drinks for water or carbonated water, eat sandwiches with turkey and mustard or light mayo instead of burgers n stuff, take up an evening walk instead of no exercise at all, and you'll start to see results in no time–no need to wait for a gym. Best of luck!
Btw, wear whatever cute clothes you want to in your size and wear them anyways. Life's too short.
Thanks anon! I'm trying my best. I actually lost a bit of weight just before the pandemic started. But during the lockdown, I fell out of my healthy diet routine and gained back more weight than before. It's so frustrating! I'm gonna restart my diet plan again next week.
Sugary drinks and desserts are my weakness! I just have to eat something sweet once a day. It's horrible having a high level of sweet tooth. I'm trying to cut down on sugary drinks by drinking sugarless tea though. Still having a hard time trying to stop myself from adding sugar in the tea.
Yes, life is too short. But my brain still feels like I need a perfect slim body to look nice in cute clothes. Maybe I'll try to dress in cute clothes at home as a start. Thanks again for the encouragement!
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I've been talking to this guy for a few months now (mistake #1 of too many) and I feel like he always comes to me whenever he does something stupid like I have the answers to everything. Every time he cries about his ex (a relationship he willingly admits he fucked up beyond repair) he asks me what he should do, even though every time I tell him he needs to see a therapist for it, apologize to his ex, give her the money back, ask her to drop the charges against him. Thanks to his inability to do anything for himself, he went off on her and she finally stopped answering him. When I finally got fed up with it and told him I don't feel comfortable with him asking me for advice because I had feelings for him, he got all pissy and told me if I attached something deeper to our friendship, it was my fault (mind you, he also admitted at one point he did have feelings for me). Last night he woke up late for work and messaged me panicked and asked what he should do. I told him to go to work and stopped responding after that because I didn't think I'd have to tell someone the same age as me basic shit like that.
I do enjoy hanging out with him, but how do I stop being such a doormat? I'm really close to telling him if he values our friendship he needs to get help and stop being a little bitch, but I don't even know if I want to go through that effort. (soz if it's incoherent, I'm just really angry about everything in my life rn lol)
That's awesome! See, you can do it, you'll get there again.
I totally feel you on the sugary drinks/sweets. A trick I've done is have a black coffee instead of a latte with a cookie or single serving of chocolate or muffin, whatever it may be, and the sweetness of the treat offsets the bitterness of the black coffee and it's pleasant. It weened me off sugary coffee drinks so that I can drink black coffee on its own now. Reduced the calories I consumed at breakfast by a whoooole lot, and still get my sweet treats and coffee! I'm sure it'll work similarly with tea, plus it reduced my overall sweet tooth. Give it a try? It may take some time, but I promise your taste buds will adjust and you'll really enjoy it.
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I'm getting supremely sick of my parents bullshit. my parents are divorced, my mom is trying to sell her house, but can't get in contact with my dad. So of course I have to be their shitty moderator just because I HAPPEN to be dad's favorite child. Now I have to fucking call him later and tell him to unblock her so she can sell her house and fucking leave already. I'm so fucking sick of this shit and everyday I feel even more embittered towards them both. This is why I'm Pro Choice, because if she hadn't had four fucking kids with a shithead alcoholic she wouldn't be in this fucking situation and I wouldn't be here to deal with their bullshit either. Fuck. How do I call him without crying, this day gets worse and worse and I only just woke up. Get me the fuck out of here. I just can't take it anymore. Been dealing with this bullshit for 8 fucking years.
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thank you so much for your replies! i appreciate them so much and will apply your advice to the situation. again, tysm anons.
Ugh I know that feel, sis. When I was in college I asked a deskperson where I can find the nearest sweet treat (it was college and I didn't know my way around) and it must've been my desperate face bc she thought I was diabetic.
Tricks I have– replace sweet stuff with fruit. I've been making a lot of mango smoothies lately. I don't have cookies or cake in my house, I set the rule that if I really want them, I have to bake them. Sometimes, I buy chocolate chips to ration myself lol.
Tumblr/twitter genderists are fucking insane, you have to remember this and their hijacking of the lgbt discourse. Of course the pedos follow and groom victims
when genderists have no common sense. People were posting in support of the trans school shooter ffs.
It really is more of a platform issue, it's easy to find these MAP accounts but twitter and other platforms ignore it for other bullshit.
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I’m so incredibly sad, jealous angry and lonely. This puts people off, so I never have a boyfriend or make friends. That makes me even more bitter and sad and the cycle continues.
I’m 29 and still renting. I don’t have a boyfriend. I don’t have kids. I’m so afraid of being a creepy, single middle aged woman working at Walmart, eating microwaved dinners, but somehow I see myself hurtling in that direction fast.
She does exactly! Although in my case she was more friendly with my brother until she completely dropped him once she got a boyfriend.
It's sad, like she can only concentrate all of her attention on one person at a time.
This also happened to my mom. She’s in her 40’s though, and abuses prescription pills. Almost immediately after the divorce, she started having sex with a guy who was 20 years old. She obsessed over him. Reverted to what I imagine was her teenage self, and lost it. I won’t talk to her anymore.
She’s gone. That’s not my mom anymore.
I'm spot on in the same situation. She completely changed after her divorce and also has changed the way she speaks to mimic her boyfriend (which is not pleasant since I find him irritating on his own).
I can't wrap my head around it and I assume it simply comes from insecurity.>>593561
My mom is also dating a younger man and seems to have reverted back to acting like a teenager. She’ll feign ignorance over subjects so that he can enlighten her with his “wisdom.” She also acts very helpless and passive around him which I find pathetic considering how much older she is than him.
In fact he’ll frequently insult her or belittle her while she sits there silently with a timid smile on her face. It makes me cringe just thinking about it.
Ever since my first and only boyfriend, I've been so disappointed with oral. My old gf was actually pretty good at it, and it was the only I could get off with another person, but then dude came along and I finally understood why I grew up hearing about women faking orgasms.
He fucking gave my pussy beard burn too, so it'd feel like I was pissing fire afterwards. I still cringe thinking about it.
If you're interested in sexual experimentation, later.
If you're looking for monogamy, get the hell out of there.
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if i had started exercising when i was supposed to then i would be done by now
Yeah, what??? If I had a guy talking to me like that I 100% wouldn't put up with that bullshit lmao.
Move on and find someone new, plus are you even "dating"? if he's talking to you about stuff like that he's just being overly sexual and probably considers the relationship to be purely sexual or his chance to try a woman out
Samefagging, being a redditor is not the actual reason but there are several actual reason I use a lot of line breaks:
I'm a developer and functional analyst, line breaks are important. I use them a lot to clarify when one "line" or thought is finished. We use excel a lot for IV&V test script writing.
I also have issues reading full paragraphs, my eyes skip around a lot, so I add line breaks to make it easier for other people like me that also aren't able to/hate reading big chunks of text. And so that I can reread it.
Lastly, coz I fucking wanna.
Bi now gay later, especialllly bottom bitches >>593602
No one asked reddit-chan, you don’t have to defend your honor lmao
Hahaha salty bitch. >>593615
Can you answer honestly: do you look at yourself in the mirror? What is suppressing you from actually being okay with your body?
That makes sense. When I use to go on PH I'd be seeing a lot more obvious female posters in the comment section.
I can't imagine this is going to end well.>>593753
Yeah, they're fuckheads BUT don't give up anon!
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i've been talking with a guy i'm mutuals with on ig for a couple of months. we have several interests in common so texting him is always fun. i don't have any romantic feelings for him and consider him a friend. but lately i've been feeling like he uses me to fill the gf-void in his life?
>we text normally
>he suddenly starts acting cold/dismissive/rude towards me
>turns out he has a date in the near future
>genuinely happy for him and hope it works out, wish him luck
>date doesn't work out and he comes to me for emotional support
this is happening again. yesterday he was pretty cold and somewhat rude towards me, and now he tells me that he has a date. i'm upset, not because he has a date, but because it seems like he "uses" me to get emotional support and validation. i'm not friends with people who are rude towards me and am very put off by his behaviour.
i'll probably just ignore him for now and not bother having proper convos w him anymore. he'll probably assume it's because i'm jealous of him going on a date, but idc about what he thinks anymore. i guess it's my own fault for trying to be friends w a man… oh well.
I wish my older sister wrote this or believed it. She treated me the exact same way, she practically went no-contact with me when I was 11 and we have barely talked since. She would make fun of me and give me dirty looks at anything I said, she would call me a freak and just be horrible to me and I had no idea where it was coming from. I just wanted an older sister who liked me even slightly. It hurts so much seeing people with good sibling relationships since we just don't speak and she still seems to find me weird/freaky.
I know this isn't an advice thread but as the younger sister of a person who did just this, telling your sister your sorry would maybe go a long way. It doesn't mean she will accept it because I certainly wouldn't but from my perspective, it would be nice to know she realised how mean she was to me and it might be the same for your sister.
Oh, gosh, thank you for your kind replies! I wasn't expecting that. I guess my boyfriend would help me if I asked him but he spends a lot of time playing vidya as well, so I feel like I need to find another way so I don't end up resentful toward him.
I just remembered that I already downloaded Forest once, I totally forgot about it. I didn't know that there was a browser extension as well - I'm gonna get that now and work out for a bit. Thanks again!
That's actually a good idea. Pair up sugarless drinks with sugary desserts to cut down on sugar intake. Thanks for the tip anon. I might start doing that.>>593291
Haha that's so funny. Hope you did managed to get a nice sweet treat.
Yes, I've read the diet tip of replacing sugar with fruits, thing is I'm not too fond of fruits. Never liked eating fruits since I was small because I got bored of the taste of fruits. Plus, you have to cut and prep most fruits which I hate (I'm that lazy). But for the sake of health, I'll try to change my anti-fruit ways. Hopefully.
Regarding setting rules of no snacks/desserts at home, I'm slowly cutting off snacks/desserts in my grocery lists. So that's something. >>593296
156cm. I'm apple shape and have stubby legs with long torso. So it's hard to look slim even at 48kg. Fat always goes to my stomach and thighs. It's hard to find proper jeans/pants that fit. Curse my stubby apple shape body!
>>593760>he's only using me for emotional validation
Hit the nail on the head. He doesn't like you, he likes your attention. The second he thinks he has a chance with a different girl or gets a girlfriend he will go straight back to being rude if not ghosting you entirely.
Sorry, I just had an experience like this with a dude myself but he actually had the audacity to lead me on while he kept trying to see if he still had a shot with the other woman he actually wanted. He was flirty and agreed to plans with me for weeks, but the second he thought he had a chance with her again he pulled back and flaked on me and got real dismissive and rude. Then he blocked me when called out.
These losers are a waste of time.
I keep contact with these men just so I can reject them when they come back. Not like direct rejection and letting them know that I know what they’re doing. I’m not going to be like “OMG YOU ONLY COME BACK WHEN YOU CANT GET OTHER GIRLS”, because then they’re going to just think you still like them and you’re just in your feelings/crazy.
I love when they come back flirting and I say something like “oh I don’t think you’re my type but I’d like it if we could be friends” and they ask me what’s my type then I’ll say “I really like super handsome guys ya know?”. It bruises their egos so bad. I know it’s childish but I love it. Oh, and when you start leaving them on read they fucking hate it lol
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>>593958>“I really like super handsome guys ya know?”
I wish I could be like you, anon. The closest to that kind of fun was when I had Whisper installed
I usually like dweeby guys but when I’m ovulating sometimes I jones out over corny stereotypical “manly men.” About a year ago I was shopping at Smart & Final and some firemen, in full uniform, came in to buy a bunch of crap in bulk, and I just about lost it. I told my friend about it and after she was done teasing me about it, “Excuse me, hot firemen, my panties just spontaneously combusted! Can you whip out your big hoses and put out my fire?” she was like, “For real though, are you ovulating?” And I was, I hadn’t even thought of that, so that’s how I first noticed the connection.
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nta, but thank you. This was the kick in the butt I needed. I just froze my credit card and cancelled Netflix. I've been getting coffee/takeout and dumb shit, I think stress spending spiraling from the fact that I lost my savings due to being furloughed.
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Yet another job recruitment (I've given up on looking for a graphic designer job for now, so I'm looking for a normal job) and once again I ruin it by being fucking anxious. I was given an offer to read and after a moment had to list all of information there was. Started stuttering and forgeting words. There was literally only me and the other girl. Be it information (that I mentioned like 80/90%) or asking about my own personal hobby etc. The other time my legs started shaking and I had to avoid any eye contact to not make myself even more nervous. I fucking hate myself and have been looking for job for months now.
that's terrible, anon. based on your reply, you seem like a smart and caring person so it's his loss.
i wonder if he may have liked me at some point, i think he has tried to make me jealous by frequently sending me screenshots of girls he has matched with on tinder. i'm always like "good luck, she looks rly cute!" and he seems to get somewhat annoyed by that reaction? he probably wants to feel validated by having me desperately lust after him ew.
anyway, thank you for your reply! i'm now sure that "ending" our friendship is the right decision. i'm a very calm person and am not going to be dramatic about it, i'll just ignore him or reply with " ok [thumbs up emoji]" to every message he sends me. i did this once before, but it made him message me even more so i hope it doesn't backfire. pray for me, ladies.
luckily things in my country are opening up again and i'm going to be busy this fall, so i'm not going to miss talking with him due to boredom. he was good corona entertainment tho.
It really pisses me off because I can’t even look at Billie now without feeling super disgusting and hideous. It’s not even jealousy, i just associate her face with feeling bad because of him kek
Everytime I look at her I think of all the horrible rape tier sex etc
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The art threads are so fucking boring they make me want to cry from boredom. Holy fuck it's the same bullshit every fucking page. Lolicon debates, karen debates, terf debates, it never fucking ends. Why are the art threads so dogshit now?
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Being really petty, but I think people on twitter & other social media sites begging for attention is pathetic. Like “uwu omg guys!! stop giving me so much love~~” and similar things make me cringe. I know I should just ignore it because it’s inconsequential, but it’s just feels /so/ desperate that it evokes disgust lmao. Like yeah, I get it, it’s nice to get attention/praise for putting your work/art/whatever out there, but when it crosses over to faux cutesy uwu fishing-for-attention shit, just stop. If your entire worth is based on internet strangers approval and likes then ew.
Just went ahead and deleted Tinder for the second time. I'm just so tired of how shitty guys are on those apps. I matched with a guy that had zero info on his profile (while I had a lot of hobbies and interests) because I though he looked cute and was tired of swipping on everyone (I try to match only with people that include information).
He then gives me the typical "ask me" when I tell him that I don't know what to talk about since he had zero info on his profile. And this is coming from someone that initiated the conversation first! I hate the mysterious act, fuck off. Others didn't even try after just saying "hello".
What's the problem with people? It's hard enough to meet someone that has interests similar to mine on those apps (all fuckboys, hippies, which it's fine but not my style) and once I swipe on one that I think may be interesting they don't even try to keep up the conversation.
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I’ve been playing P5 for a while now and am at the point where I’m watching the cutscenes after the final battle and I’m crying! tears! actually crying! because I’m going to miss this stupid feline so much! I got so attached, unreasonably so. I can’t express how sad I am that I won’t get to see this fucker every day (in game) anymore!!! I don’t know why I let myself get so emotionally invested but I did! and I’d die for him! and I don’t want to finish the game because I don’t want to say goodbye!
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God fucking damn it. How the fuck do you tell your parents you think they raised you wrong and did basically nothing right for you? I grew up super sheltered, and so of course, I have no real life experience and I'm too scared to leave. But of course, its all mockery at my house. No matter fucking what, I could even just complain about the sky being bright, and my mother would come along and say "well if you only had a job…." And other stupid fucking bullshit like "omg why are you eating that? Ugh I just wish you would eat healthy food and not that shit" so its MY fault that you never allowed me to get a job at a younger age? Its MY fault that you never gives a single fuck about how I feel? everything's MY fault and I deserve to be mocked constantly for my failures. Ok. Wish I was fucking aborted.
Update on this lmfao. The grandma had us cleaning all day. Made me cry several times and I babysat until after midnight. Today is my first day off in a long time so to have that ruined really fucking sucks. I tried to talk to her mom about the things that were said to me and she said “I don’t agree with her method, but it will make you stronger” “you’re too thin-skinned” NO, IT WONT TF? I just came from an abusive
household where my step-dad would say similar things and even get physical with me so to all of a sudden be forced back on that kind of environment is making me shake and lose focus. It’s 4am now and I’m still sick to my stomach and crying.I have 2 weeks left of this before is over and then I’m supposed to go back to College. I feel so defeated and like I’ll never be safe.
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I fuckin hate my arms like what the hell is this, they're not even the same length or width. I just wanna wear sleeveless dresses and not feel like a gorilla. Please don't ban me for male I swear I am just a disfigured woman.
I fee the opposite. I wish I were nicer and just listened to her even if she was wrong.
Instead I tore into her feelings when I was at my lowest and now I feel like that has completely ruined her image of me to the point where I still love her so much but she barely wants to talk on the phone to me. I'm so retarded.
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Fuck. I just realized that my body pretty much looks like this. I'm short, fat and super top heavy. I used to be skinny until like four years ago. I always had a broad chest but it wasn't as obvious as it is now that I'm 20 kg heavier.
Now I have a huge belly and tits, no ass or hips. My shoulders and my stomach are fucking huge. I've struggled with losing weight for years now, I lost 10 and gained them back and some.
I feel like I'm doing okay right now but there's literally no clothes that don't make me look like a grandma who already went through menopause 30 years ago until I've lost at least 10 kg. FUCK. I look like an ogre. I really hate myself right now. I just want to manage losing the weight and keeping it off this time.
In college there was a dude in my group of friends who decided to go on about how small his penis. This was while we were at a restaurant eating dinner as a group, mind you. All the other girls gave pity "aww, it's not that bad, size really doesn't matter" comment with obviously awkward inflections. He also wold go on about the whole "key and lock" analogy when discussing why women shouldn't sleep around. He blatantly said stuff like this while being thirsty for literally every girl in the friend group. I hated going to any group outtings if he was involved. But my friend would pressure me into going because she would never want to be the only girl in the group to show up if he was there.
My friend got into a messy breakup at some point and fuckface swooped in to get her drunk on the rebound. The group ended up breaking apart due to the ensuing drama. Ugly people are the worst.
Oh god I'm sorry you have to go through this anon! Hope you don't have cramps on top of it all.
I remember how almost every month I fell asleep on the bathroom floor because the shitting and vomiting exhausted me and my room was on the second floor. I hope you'll feel better soon
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haha tfw your parents constantly invalidate your feelings and mock you for your failures 24/7 weehee goteeeeem
Been listening to this on repeat while seriously considering killing myself.
I'm just tired of being depressed. Nothing is working out.>>594521
This is exactly what I feel… you put it into words.
Hang in there anon.
I'm sorry. My parents compare me to my cousins who are very successful and shit, I still live with them.
I read your post and I had to think of Helga from Hey Arnold.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjIu2U58FVY
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Anons my brain is legitimately trying to kill me. My anxiety is unbearable and just never fucking ends. It's been almost a decade of this shit. Of constantly fixating on things to worry about, developing random phobias, feeling like the world is going to end at any moment, feeling completely detached from reality and my body, etc. Nothing feels real and I can't stop contemplating my own mortality. I'd say kill me, but I'm actually terrified of dying.
Sometimes I come down for a little while and feel a bit relaxed, but then my brain is just like "BUT WHAT IF ALJDLJFLKDJFLKDJLKF" and we start the stupid cycle all over again.
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anon, don't say that about yourself, you're clearly a woman! you look like one of those hot buff ladies that dudes drool over on /fit/ lol. pic was the easiest example i could find, it's honestly a really nice look imo
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Fuck fuck fuck im genuinely freaking out over college, im supposed to have digital illustration this semester and we WERE going to use my college’s fancy ass cintiqs.
But now we aren’t going back till next year and I DONT EVEN OWN A MOUSE, IMAGINE A DRAWING TABLET, how the fuck am i going to learn ANYTHING online if i dont have the most basic tools.
My college is also offering no fucking support, their stance is basically “well that sucks but we cant do anything”, and i feel like im not learning shit in comparasion to my rich classmates that can get all the tech they need.
Fuck I dont want to quit because i would have to sit on my butt doing nothing august 2021 but I basically dont see another way out, im not fucking learning anything.
We are on a red quarantine phase still, their building isn’t even fucking open, even the library is online only now.
I doubt my classmates would want to make a tablet go around between households in this situation either, plus they kinda need their own to do the schoolwork, our workload is pretty heavy.
Honestly fuck art school, they should’ve just closed down.
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I’m 25 now; I started working when I was 16 and never finished my country’s equivalent of high school (I think? I mean, I missed the last three years of the school that would have qualified me for college, it’s hard to explain since it works a bit different here than in the US). I decided to do it now, but I will be 29 when I finish. Most of my family thinks I should learn a profession instead, like dental technician or zookeeper or something (these were their actual suggestions). That I’ll be too old when I finish school and can go to university (even my damn 98-year-old grandma said this).
I’m so torn. I know it’s probably more reasonable to learn a profession than to go to school for three to four years for a diploma I should’ve already gotten when I was 18, but I don’t want to end up regretting it, since I feel like I’d do well at uni. But learning a profession now would make me more independent and at least I’d have something solid to work with, rn I only have work experience and the “regular” school diploma.
I just see myself becoming and working as a dental technician and realising at 35 that I could’ve studied a creative field to do something more fulfilling or that I could’ve studied to become an engineer to earn around three times the salary of a dental technician.
I’m also scared that I’ll fail though, that I’ll get sick of this city (poorest city in my country) and drop out of school again just so I can move someplace less depressing. I probably wouldn’t but it’s hard not to be at least somewhat afraid of this scenario.
And I’m so disappointed in myself. I wish I hadn’t dropped out of school when I was 16. I’ve wasted all my best years and now everyone is fucking sick of me being the only person in my whole extended family who isn’t successful. I feel like a big and utter disappointment.
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The major issue is that im not american so tech gets taxed at insane prices, the cheapest decent tablet i can find is like 450 of my currency.
I would have more luck making that money out of prostitution than comissions, my parents are also completely fucked financially because my grandparents had corona, im basically just screaming out my frustation because i have no options except dropping out.
Sorry in advance, part vent part response
Lately I've been feeling the same way as you anon, but about yoga in general. I realized I'm tired of all of the forcibly sincere chattering from YWA. Usually it distracts me through holding poses that are tougher which is helpful, but lately with everything happening the chattering is not enough. I just don't want to hear any more contrived shit about loving yourself, I just want to stretch.
So finally I was like, well why not just stretch then? I found a bunch of MadFit videos on youtube just for deep stretching and they're great. Skip 2 minutes of explanation and the instructor just guides you, no extra shit.
Still, the mindfulness skills Yoga with Adriene subconsciously teaches you are really worthwhile, just just have to let yourself actually believe them which was the hard part for me. Tl;dr so you don't have to follow a year's worth of her vids like I did:
-If it hurts, back off slowly. It's a video, no one is judging you
-You'll get there eventually. If you're asked to touch your toes but can only reach your knees, then touch your knees. With a little bit of work every day eventually you'll reach further, there is no rush.
-Contrived but, find what feels good. Give lots of different stretches a chance and if you find one that doesn't work for your body, just switch to one that does and don't worry about it. You can re-join a video or pause it at any time to explore a stretch and modify it yourself.
All of that has been really helpful in letting me follow stretch or dance videos I have no business following. Instead of looking at the MadFit instructor's body and crying bc I don't look like that, (which pre-yoga me would 100% do) I'm like damn ok I'll get there one day when I'm ready and if I put in the work.
Anyway, good luck anon I genuinely hope you "find what feels good" for you.
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im so SOoRRY brioche
I'm actively getting drunk right now because yesterday I accidentally killed a baby sparrow and just thinking about it makes me cry im so sorry
>2 days ago>see cat running after something>go look and see its a baby sparrow>really small but it has feathers>name it Brioche and take it inside to protect from cat>when I find one I generally hide them outside and they still get fed by their parents>Force my cat inside and put Brioche in my garden hedge>go check after a while and its obviously not there anymore but I hope he hid>think about my small sparrow all night
now, yesterday morning
>look from window and see Brioche hanging out in my garden near the place I first found him>scared of cat noticing>big brain idea>there's a nest in my roof gutter, if I put him on roof through bathroom velux window, he'll probably go in nest and get raised by the other sparrows>pick Brioche and run to bathroom>open window and put it on roof, hoping it'll hop to nest>Brioche dramatically rolls off the roof>"REEE BRIOCHE BEAT YOUR WINGS">run downstairs and outside>can hear faint bird cries>see it spread on the ground, his neck all loose>it doesn't even cry anymore, just breathes rapidly>hold brioche in my hands and cry >Brioche stops breathing and dies in my hands
I killed him, i shouldntr have touched it,it would have been fine and healthy and alive.
I thought it wouldnt fall, I thought even if it did it would have beaten its little wings a bit and not got hurt at all.
I still visualize its little body rolling off of the roof
I'm so sorry. F for Brioche, king of the sparrows, taken away from us too soon because of a stupid piece of shit human garbage.
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tumblr sperg inc
I'm so sick and tired of seeing those "we must include POC" in cottagecore posts.
I love old timey things, nature and cooking, and its something thats my guilty pleasure on tumblr. most of the times, its not even text posts. Just videos of walks and forests, general aesthetic images. nothing else.
Since recently they started to post bullshit like pic related and I am just…. Cottages and gardening is an asian/caucasian thing. There is no need to include people that literally have no connection to it towards it. they literally worry those girls that are into sewing and flowers that they are white supremacists? what the fuck man.(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)
“anti cottagecore” people and people like the one in the pic you posted (and tbh the vast majority of “sjw”-ish people on tumblr and twitter) absolutely reek of American imperialism to me. Idk how to put it into words but they just do, and it really rubs me the wrong way.
Also, imagine going so deep down the rabbit hole that you’re paranoid that teenage girls posting pictures of cottages and flowers on tik tok and tumblr is actually a racist white supremacist masterplot lmao. It’s not like this is something exclusive to white girls either, literally anyone can wear aesthetic clothes and post pictures of flowers and shit.
I should have really done that, or even just let it alone tbh.
Who even has the idea to put a bloody bird on a roof and not expect it to fall? seriously who the fuck is this dumb apart from me oof
historically black people did not start living in cottages till the slavery thing happened. they had huts, but not the typical european aesthetic cottagecore is aiming for. I just feel its unfair because instead of encouraging their own culture, they force others into something they have culturally nothing to do with.
i am not saying "black people are not into gardening and sewing and knitting" but more that its usless to try to promote a very small minority in a community that has nothing to do with identity politics.
there is a whole thing about how cottagecore is a white nationalists wet dream, but in reality girls are just drawn to those things more than not. and there is nothing wrong with that, regardless of race.
i guess my whole point is that i dont like politics in every single sphere in my life including cute aesthetics.
you are saying exactly what i was trying to say (not native speaker etc)
like if a POC girl is posting cottagecore while never showing her face, fine, you will most likely try to share it out of the appreciation for the image. but there should not be some sort of satisfaction from "thehe, im posting a bunch of POC girls in a garden! I'm such a good person"
Its the same thing like sex workers getting upset that nobody reblogs their pics as much as during black history month. if you like how a girl looks like, repost it. her skin color should have nothing to do with that.
its not even the POC girls getting upset about representation. just leave the people to do whatever the fuck they want, if someone does not reblog POC, like the anon above said native americans, then they are the problem.
its like saying the LARP community should have more black people because they want it to be more diverse, instead of actually caring about people picking up the hobby themselves and taking pride in it.
It all feels very forced.
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"you shouldnt dream of X bc it might be colonialistic" lmao
I dont even know why this pisses me off. I'm not even white.
I don't think that's what anon implied but okay>>595136
I really hate these woke lil shits that try to +1 each other with their wokanda posts spewing the most retarded shit ever to see what sticks. Back in 2012-14 there was also a little resurgence of aesthetics based on forests and the country life on tumblr, and I had a blog like that. You didn't had to engage in stupid discussions like this if you didn't want to, just post cute jam toast and lavender flowers with lambs in the background and that's it. I am of course pro inclusion and everything, but every time I see this kool-aid being shoved into everyone's mouth I can't help but feel disgusted. I feel like everytime they're like ~we must include the poor POC~ they're actually segmenting the population and making things worse instead of letting it be enjoyed by everyone no matter what race they are. I don't see how posting pictures of all kinds of people enjoying flowers and dresses would not be inclusive already.
It's like saying "oh we must include aboriginal in X aesthetic more! Like and share for aboriginal lollitas!" or something insane like that. If someones into it, fine. but there is no need to virtue signal for brownie points that will not do any good, to anyone.
I dunno, how does a POC feel about posts like that? Isn't it condescending as fuck?
I'm so tired of american-centric views on everything.
Other countries have farms too.
This is just karma for how white people and asians treated poc trying to get into cutesy subcultures in the past. I remember there being lolita/ulzzang Myspace groups that would not let you join if you were black.
I really dont care if white/asian people are mad that inclusion is being forced based off how they have acted towards darker skin people within cutesy subcultures in the past. Its just karma…
I am a POC >>595203
And I think it's disgusting.>>595206
It's not about not including THE people, or THE RACE of people, it's about not having to cater to everyone's stupid sensibilities if the fashion is just about gardening and not a political statement, because woke pieces of shit have to make EVERYTHING political and take the fun out of it for "muhh inclusion!!" when they themselves are white pieces of shit with savior complexes. They don't speak for me.
this is a dumb take lol although thats not right, youve reached the conclusion that its karma??? kek>>595202
who is this absolute idiot writing long posts about farming and colonialism… a person reblogs a few pics of baby cows and a meadow and youre telling them that they gotta understand whatever farming methods if u decide to follow some sort of aesthetic? who even says people who reblog that stuff are going to farm like holy shit this is so dumb
Karma doesn't exist, racists and non racist people do however.
I agree with your point though.>>595214
If they want to see people in cottagecore, why must they push the idea of making everything culturally appropiate and therefore gatekeeping things? Why can't people into cottagecore just dress in cottagecore dresses without having to worry if they're evil evil colonialists? White people with savior complexes who post woke shit are more colonialist than girls with braided flowers in their hair lmao
People are just super sensitive now because in the past if you were black/darker skin you literally were banned/not allowed into these subcultures.
Now poc feel they need to make a huge stink to be included.
those posts are virtue signaling that basically say "There are too little POC in our posts, we must diviersify. otherwise I feel like a nasty racist and I can't live like that!" and it puts a bad mouth into my taste. Just thinking back on the cottagecore/grandmacore I have seen in the past, I'd say that the representation was about equal to the general racial percentile of the online user population. Are POC more likely to be stuck in a city because they gravitate towards there rather than lush forests and grassy plains? Yeah. But that's not the problem of cottagecore, thats just a socioeconomic problem that has nothing to do with that.
Again, thats the same thing with POC sexworkers. People will reblog a couple POC sexworkers during black history month and literally not talk about it for the rest of the year. It's just asspatting and I hate it. >>595218
As pointed out, its not even POC that make those posts. It's always, or 99.99% times its a white CIS girl.. And if the anon isnt larping about being POC, they most likely feel feel like posts like such are condescending.
>>595136>1. Whose land are you on?
My own…?>2. Where are they now?
I immediately had to check out that blog because this sounds like gold and of course "he" didn't disappoint:>Strawberry Boy Emerson | he/him | Gay | @trans-isaac: Jewish sideblog 22 | Jewish | Talk to me>>595211>implying these are the same people bullying cringy "lolita/ulzzang"-you back in 2007…
These "cottagecore" fags are so annoying, they're close to always spoiled city kids who have no idea how living on the countryside really is, it involves a lot more the smell of manure and chucking wood in ugly practical clothes (impossible for your average "disabled" tumblrina) instead of baking cakes and having picnics.
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yep. plus the bugs are insane & seeing ppl in ugly clothes is the norm so theres no real incentive to wear dresses
Yeah, thats a thing I noticed as well. It's an aesthetic thats meant to romantize the vibe, not the actual work involved in it. Is it cool to have cows? Yeah. Aesthetically there is something amazing about the whole image.
However you have to milk cows twice a day, and you cant really skip a day with normal milkcows. You dont have days off. If you have multiple animals, you have to rotate chicken pens for optimal animal happiness, you have to wake up at 4am every day to milk, you have to mow grass, take care of the house, etc.
Cottagecore is just aesthetic. It has nothing to do with the actual village farming life. there's a reason why women in small villages in the south are not dainty elves, picking herbs and flowers all day. They are hard workers. (talking about farmer women/homesteaders)>>595230
again, point is that I am venting about people being upset of too few POC represented in their aesthetic pictures without realizing that there are cultural and personal grounds for those things.
I am kazakh myself so I dunno if you'd count me as white.>>595231
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sometimes i get the "i'm a banana" song stuck in my head and it makes me question my sanity
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>suddenly enforcing "no NSFW !!!" rule on lolcow
>a third of a 4 years-old BL thread is deleted
>anons banned for posting same things they've been posting for years with no warning
>/g/ is next
say goodbye to all your fetishes threads;
lolcow hates women
Brb going to read meta. “No NSFW” has
to be a joke, the entirety of lc is nsfw
There must be some new people on the mod team. I dont get what the purpose of banning nsfw content is. LC definitely isn't a family friendly website.
Also, did they really say /g/ is next?
NSFW Banned is stupid. Everything lolcows like momokun and shayna do is nsfw. The spoiler image thing exists for a reason.
Who did they bring on the team this time? A woke twitter tard who gets offended at tiddies? Shit. I want to vomit.
Just do what 4chan does and put a "you must be +18 to be on this site" shit when you open lolcow.
I doubt nsfw has been banned from the site. It's just an anon throwing a tantrum because her hardcore yaoi pics were deleted from /m/
If you want to be nasty go to /g/. Although that board also has rules.
I thought the rule about NSFW content was to prevent people from turning it into nothing but a porn board, not block farmers from posting (spoilered) erotica in their designated thread for that very subject. I don't exactly use the thread, but the literal first reply to it, from all the way back to 4 years ago, is "I don't have to tell you guys to spoiler images, right?", ffs.
By this "strictly follow the rules" logic, couldn't the fujoshi anons just make or enter a thread on any board that's not /m/ or /g/, and dump all their R18 shit under a spoiler tag, since they have no rule against NSFW content on them? Somehow, I feel like that would just net them a ban, too.
I don't really get it. Are Onision's nudes the only NSFW content allowed on the site now?
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except same rule is in /g/ retard and god knows there's porn there yaoi isn't a girlstalk topic
either enforce same rules on all boards or admit that there's a twitterfag triggered
by yaoi on the team
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Just witnessed my father masturbate (I don't think he has realised I've seen him masturbate). That, coupled with the fact that I'm already pretty unwell makes me feel extremely sick/disgusted…
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>tfw convince myself I want and deserve to be with an attractive guy but when an attractive guy shows interest I'm immediately suspicious because I know I'm objectively fat and ugly
I'll never win. I wish my need for partnership could be turned off like a lightswitch, I'm so sick and tired of emotional rollercoasters with men and the disappointment they eventually bring.
Yaoi bad sperg baiting for weeks to no avail, resorted to reporting years old posts because women are not allowed to like anything that’s not mutually consenting hand holding and newfag farmhand>>595367
Right? Couldn’t be any more blatant vendetta
i'm sorry for your loss anon, maybe you can try and make friends online? Try to join some discord servers or maybe you can find other communities created to make friends?>>595315>Who did they bring on the team this time? A woke twitter tard who gets offended at tiddies?
uh yeah why do you think they banned the thread about trannies?
most people are objectively ugly, that's why personality is important
unfortunately most people are fucking boring, too
i posted 13 days ago that my dad had 6 months to a year to live.
he passed away peacefully two days ago.
i'm scared, anons. i miss him terribly, but i'm trying to be strong. he wouldn't want me to be sad.
but i'm so scared. i don't know what to do. i need to look into how my health insurance and literally everything is supposed to work from now on. i also have to write the obituary. i'm scared and overwhelmed anons. so scared.
Girl this has been me my entire life lol honestly they ain't worth it, your pride isn't worth being reduced to a background character>>594518
A friendship built from pity isn't a real friendship>>595283
Target never hires people with degrees, they want someone who is going to stay there and slave for them for years, not someone who is going to move on to bigger and better things
Ugh the hold is ridiculous. Like its my money give me it!
Make sure you don't end up with a buyer who abuses the "return/refund" policy bullshit if you sold something on ebay. My paypal is negative $100 from that shit and I didn't even get the thing back!
While I think you should speak with whoever you feel is best suited to the situation, friend or partner, I don't think it would hurt to let the man you intend to marry in on your current personal struggles. No doubt he loves and supports you, so what's the harm in telling him why you've been avoiding intimacy? Even if he doesn't offer anything constructive towards your intended goal, sharing the weight of your emotional burdens has its own kind of benefits.
Godspeed on your weight loss journey, anon!
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My mental illness is causing me to strongly believe that my boyfriend hates me and is not really attracted to me anymore and wants to break up with me despite him showing strong sides of the opposite and it's so hard for me to stop pushing him away because of this made up bullshit in my brain.
I'm scared, just scared I'm going to ruin everything.
I can't stop moping around like a stupid heartbroken bitch for no reason.
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I know I shouldn't feel this way towards a friend, BUT I'm not that nice of person so… One of my online friends has 13 year old weaboo beginner tier art and gets more attention that mine. I'm not the greatest either and I'm a beginner as well, but at least I have a basic understanding of anatomy and lighting. I really think they only get attention on their art because they draw for fandoms that our friend group is into whereas I draw a lot of stuff outside of our shared fandoms.
It's more frustrating because said friend group likes to spout the whole "support your friends art even if you don't know the series" shit that goes around.
I don't want my friend to stop getting attention, I guess I just want some kind of recognition too.
Whatever, at least I feel better after typing this.
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i deal with the same, im so sorry
I don't think I have a real condition or anything but I kinda have the same. Like every time I'm shown affection or caring by anyone or a relationship starts getting semi-serious I think "they didn't really mean the wonderful things they said, it's all fake, you will be left on the roadside any day now, it's just a matter of time"
The only people I trust are the elderly.
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he wants to have a threesome with you and his wife.
proud of you anon. so many women feel like they have to entertain this shit. your bf has the right to get drunk/not drunk in his own house.
it sounds like the tranny wants to get rid of your bf to make it a girls night, and I think you need to ask yourself what S would gain from being the only male in a group of drunk women, remembering S has a dick and male strength. He sees your bf as a either a threat or an obstacle as he's kicking up shit about your bf no matter what he does.
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Oh my god I fucking hate it when companies do that shit where person A posts an inquiry, I create them an offer and the person B from the SAME company sends me the fucking SAME inquiry.
Do you not talk to each other? Do you think I'm lying? It literally says in the signanture you're in the same department. Like fuck stop that because I'm forced to create a new offer for each inquiry instead of just copying it and you're giving me extra work.
It's been happening a lot lately…
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I'm trying to distance myself from the alphabet communities but even that is not enough they try insert themselves into the most random shit possible
> hairstyles with undercuts, because lesbians would appreciate that
This is a dressup game about clothes not skinconditions
> Pride flags pleaaaase
> Prefered pronouns
This one made me gag
Literally not thinking about the type of game they are talking about, just care for the representation part
Sorry to sperg, about a godamn dressup game Jesus
Imagine the exhaustion that comes from shoehorning your artificial identity into every aspect of your life.
>early 70s Stevie Nyx type fashion because that is coming back
Dude just code your own SJW dress up game if you want Jeffree Starship merch available
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I dont know if Im just a doormat or if my employer is terrible but I work overtime every week and I just found out I have to work an extra 5 hours tomorrow (tacked on to an already 12 hour shift…) I wish I felt more comfortable opening up about the issues with my job but I have "bootstraps" style conservative values so instilled in my mind that I feel guilty for even feeling the need to vent about it.
I'm so mad at my mom for setting bad examples and raising me to tolerate and normalize abuse, while simultaneously shaming me as I got older and found myself in abusive situations or relationships. She hated me, because she hated that she saw herself in me but was too much of a stupid bitch to realize she caused it. And of course, therapy was below her because then she'd have to face facts that she was bad and "trying her best" hadn't been good enough.
I hate that she was the one who told me I was never allowed to have boundaries, especially with her (she humiliated me by reading my diary, rummaging through my room, walking around the house naked, getting angry at me if I kept secrets or wouldn't tell her things, irritating at expressing my agency or individuality in any way she disapproved, holding gifts she gave me over my head to get me to comply with anything, and I didn't even have a door that could shut and lock until I moved out at 22 years old). I was never allowed to say no in response to anything she demanded of me, and so I became a people pleaser because other people's happiness was more valuable than my own comfort. She spoiled men and her shitty husbands while talking a big talk to me about how garbage they were behind their backs and "trading them in for new models" while never doing shit until they cheated on her bitter ass. She let her abusive second husband have partial custody of me while he emotionally tormented me and stymied my upbringing for years under the logic that any father figure was better than none, only to confess later that he was a violent physical abuser which I had always figured by the way he acted and was neglectful. That man enjoyed my emotional suffering, and using me as the pawn so he wouldn't have to pay my mom money and to stay relevant as a malignant force in her life. It made me feel worse as she knew but did nothing to protect me from him, she never told the courts shit because she was more embarrassed to be seen as having chosen the wrong type of man to reproduce with than outing the truth to protect her own offspring.
There's no other way I could have turned out. I'm an abuser and narcissist magnet, and the only reason why I'm an iota of self-aware is due to how many times I've been burned so far (thankfully I've always been for abortion and bc so no man could ever trap me or hurt my theoretical children) and the internet's accounts of other women who are just like me but weren't so lucky.
I will hate her until the end of time for what she's done. She isn't sorry and doesn't believe she's responsible for the majority of how shitty my upbringing was. She looks at my outward appearance as an adult of not being a total loser, and gives herself all the credits for my successes while blaming me for all my failures.
I won't feel better until she's dead and isn't around to spread her lies and manipulations anymore.
Diff anon but I suffered with UTIs for a long time and getting docs just to run tests was difficult, even if you go to a doctor in person they rarely take urine and test it. Easier for them to hand you a prescription and only test you if you've been back in with UTIs ten times that year.
Weirdly enough I was once in hospital for an unrelated reason. I got UTI symptoms while there and they tested immediately. Test came back negative which shocked me. I still had symptoms that I quietly put up with for a few more days. I've heard after a while of getting infections you get scarring on your bladder wall?
Less than 50% of UTIs go away on their own untreated, those odds are pretty shitty. And the type that goes away on its own is gone in a day. If the symptoms are lasting for over a day and don't get better, you need to go to a fucking doctor. An untreated, complicated UTI is painful and very dangerous.
>"There was a suggestion in a small German study in 2010 that using just painkillers may be no worse than antibiotics," adds Ali. "But a more extensive study by the same group in 2015 refuted this and showed that women who did not take antibiotics had a significantly higher total burden of symptoms, and more cases of pyelonephritis - a severe infection of the kidney which can require hospital admission and can lead to sepsis."
>"Similar results to the German trial were seen in a Swiss study in 2017 and a recent Norwegian one in 2018. Both showed that avoiding antibiotics was an inferior approach to treating UTIs. While many women will get over the infection without antibiotics, a proportion will experience severe complications."
So no, I wouldn't risk just waiting it to go out on its own. >>595953
Every time I've gone to the doctor for an UTI in my country they've always taken a urine sample as well, it takes like 10 minutes for them to test it. Then again our doctors are very stingy with antibiotics and only prescribe them when necessary.
It sucks as an adult to piece these things together and make sense of the lasting effects. I'm only realising lately how much our childhoods shape our romantic relationships, depressing af anon.
My dad had a 'my house and everything in this house is mine to control' attitude. I've dated guys with the same attitude, on the surface I just look like a doormat idiot but I'm sure I'm recreating the shitty dynamic I grew up in.
She pushes really hard. If I don’t eat the junk food the first time she tries to get me to eat it she will try several times a day until it goes stale and then she puts on this big show about how nasty I am for wasting the precious doughnut she brought for me with her own money or whatever and letting it go stale when it was sooo fresh and beautiful when she brought it from the store. She doesn’t take no for an answer.
I’ve stopped trying tbh, I used to go to dance class every single day and I managed to get down to a stable healthy weight, but then the class moved to a different part of the city which is almost an hour away so now all I’ve been doing for exercise is running 1km every other day which is not nearly enough. so now I’m on a fine line between the upper healthy bmi range and being slightly overweight. The part that concerns me the most is the prediabetes, which she does know about, she even told me it’s because I have a bad diet (which she forces on me, but when I told her this she said it’s my decision to eat the junk food and it’s not her fault for buying it)
Way worse shit than that list has been happening for pretty much all of history
World wars, plagues that were so much worse than covids spread or death rate
There is no God anon. We are all who we've got on our little blue marble floating in space, and the only comfort is the fact that you will become fully unaware of it again once your consciousness is obliterated in death as it was before you were born.
Horrible people know this and know there is no consequence awaiting for them in an afterlife, which is why they depend on religion to keep the poor and undereducated in line thinking there's a divine retribution awaiting them. It's all a lie.
Anons are making fun of you but honestly it’s easy to get overwhelmed these days just because we’re so bombarded by bad news all the time. An existential crisis is not an uncommon thing to experience but you will be okay lol.
Terrible things are happening all over the world right now but there are many good things as well. This is the way the world has always been and as long as you can find some reason to keep trucking along you will be okay. Sometimes that means disconnecting yourself from the constant stream of information for a bit.
Coming from a person who has attempted suicide, I would rather be alive than dead right now. You got this anon.
If you think life is meaningless without some magic daddy or other power then that’s on you. There are so many things you can choose to be meaningful and that’s liberating.
I, for one, am very glad that the point to my existence is not to worship some asshole and suffer
To some people yes. People have different reasons to give their life meaning and that’s okay. I don’t believe in God but I totally understand why people find solace in the idea. There’s no shame in that unless you have a giant atheist stick up your ass.
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A little random relationship advice and a rant. The first thing you should do before meeting a guy or dating him is ask him "so what type of girls are you into physically? :)"
This question will save you so much time and bullshit because many guys will fuck and date cute girls WHO ARENT THEIR TYPE, and resent them for it down the line. It doesnt mean you're not hot, you're fuckable…you just arent his "type". Most guys are dumb enough to answer this question honestly because guys can never stfu about women they're attracted to and the ones they arent attracted to.
I asked this guy who his type is and he said cute asian girls. Im a 30 year old black woman, so obviously I'm not his ideal. He answered the question honestly and I blocked him immediately afterward.
Do you want to vent or do you want therapy? It really sounds like you need the latter.
I hope you end up happier, anon.
Ugh I'm sorry, anon. I wish they would own up to their mistakes. I went into the convo trying to mend our relationship too. >>596171
I do the exact same thing. I dwell on such minor things to the point I feel sick. I try to tell myself of people I know who have fucked up or embarrassed themselves much worse and it literally changed nothing about how I see them or feel about them. Doesn't always work though cause half the time I don't care what other people think anyway and I am just unhappy with how I see myself. I hope you can he nicer to yourself.
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reading discourse about people saying Computer Science/other tech degrees are useless makes me salty. maybe if you glide by and putz around in your free time without studying and making connections via your university, yeah. but i feel like "learning 2 code" is different from learning and being tested on all components of computing–including programming. anyone with internet access has the capability of learning it all themselves, but if you've really done that you'd be successful and not reeeeing at graduates
both sides of the argument are stupid and filled with cope anyway. this is why i never look at Twitter
I feel like this too. If someone calls me by my name or if I find out I've been talked about in my absense I get triggered
the fuck out and wish I could just not exist. No object permanence allowed. I wish I could just erase all memories of me from other peoples minds. I keep compulsively deleting all of my social media posts after a while too because I hate having any reminders of my own existence.
To be real, none quite with this level of seriousness. >>596362
Your sister sucks and I'm sorry to hear, shit must be frustrating. Nothing you can do for her sounds like.
my boyfriend is going through a depression over a close family members death and one of his family members is finally helping him out and getting him through it when nobody else, even me, could help
(sorry for vague details)
i'm glad and happy he's finally gotten the support he needs. but im also jealous. and not just because I couldn't be that person for him, its because the person who raised me is dying too. and I know when It comes down to it and I'm in that depression after her death, nobody will try and help.
I like this guy. we have similar situations, similar issues. but I know when the only parent in my life dies nobody is going to make the effort to come into my room, help me clean, buy me things I need, tell me its ok. I don't need reassurance on that, its a fact, its just been proven over the years that any family I do have doesn't give a fuck or isnt capable of giving that kind of help. And I don't think he can do it either, just like I couldn't do it for him.
watching his depression over that death has just confirmed for me that I will be a zombie after my only parent dies in my early twenties (they have a few years left tops). And the loneliness is insane. All I can do is try and seperate myself from everyone and learn how to be truly alone and okay by myself without needing anyone, but I still wonder why I had to go through this
Pff, I hate to say it but I think I'm outgrowing my 2 lifelong bffs. They're my last link to my hometown, my home country really. and obviously my 2 closest friends who have been there for me through thick and thin and vice versa.
And we've always had banter (insulting each other in a humourous way), one's known for being a stupid bitch, the other a petty bitch and me an angry and bitter bitch (go figure, I'm on lolcow).
Anyway, petty has a proclivity for sending dull work related news and I replied "cool" because wtf do you say to work from home being extended a few weeks? Then stupid says "lol what a bitchy reply" to my "cool" and petty agrees. And it feels like I'm being nitpicked for no reason?
And then petty tells me he's feeling stressed out from workload so I suggest we all play co-op this evening but I'd need to stop at a particular time because my flatmate sleeps then and I often don't notice how loud I'm being when gaming. So petty says "oh an hour after that would be ideal though" so I say "the time I said is my boundary, I want to be considerate to flatmate" and you know what he says? "one hour isn't enough" so I'm like "well if it isn't enough that's a shame and we'll call it off, check your tone". To which he then backtracks and says he wasn't demanding, it just would've been preferable.
And it's just like all this feels a bit…power gamey? Idk, I just wanted to suggest something fun he could also destress with and he's making demands. And it's like sometimes they gang up and let's say petty is being rude, and I'm like "uh that's rude? fuck off", then stupid and petty both act as if what I said was unforgivable and uncalled for.
When we hung out in person it felt more organic and balanced, we'd laugh when stupid acted stupid or joke when petty was being petty. But since it's all over text with those 2 still in the same hometown hanging out, I feel the ire can be skewed towards me more often than not. Sometimes when I go off on their immature behaviour I get emoji replies. Other times it's "oh sorry it was meant as a joke". But it's not funny? After a bit it's just uninspired and I wanna say can you stop replying in emojis you BORING CUNT but instead I just mute them for the rest of the day.
I can't tell if i've actually outgrown it, or maybe living in a culture that doesn't have banter has affected my perception of it. I don't want to lose them, when the chips are down and my life goes to shit they're so supportive, but the daily interactions can tire me.
I don't know what to do about my mother. I've cut her off several times but I feel bad about it.
The thing is, she's never given me emotional support ever. Also she's never treated me as an equal, either she behaves like a child and expects me to make decisions for her, or she treats me as a child and tells me what I should do with my life, there's no balance. Her emotional intelligence is zero. When she is angry, she stops talking to anyone for days and expects everyone to read her mind and figure out what they did wrong. She is also the only one who's allowed to be tired. Your problems are always minuscule compared to hers. You'll never work as hard as she does, whatever you do. I've also recently found out that she lied about a health condition I had as a child, making it sound much more serious than it actually was, which sucks because I would have loved to cross off one item from the 'What is wrong with me' list as an always insecure, shy and sickly kid. She has always compared me to my cousins and if any of them did better in anything (got better grades, learned to drive sooner, earned more money etc.) she became angry, felt personally insulted and urged me to do better.
I just can't see us ever having a normal relationship, so should I even bother? Thinking about even talking to her on the phone makes me have an anxiety attack. If I were to try and maintain a normal relationship with her, I would have to open up but I don't want to be vulnerable anymore. And I don't see the point of a neutral relationship, where we meet once a month and talk about impersonal things like weather, world news and politics. I just want to be understood by her. I want her to want to see my point of view for once. My best friend says that she had a similar relationship with her father and he changed his ways and I should just be patient. She also says that I should work on our relationship just because she is my mother and she is 'family'. But I'm no sure that reason is enough for me to want to work on it. Ugh, anyway, sorry for writing a fucking novel, y'all.
anon your post freaked me out it hit so close to home. Thank you for writing it. My mum did the same, normalized abuse in my life, her and her bf hit me alot, said that when my bf hit me it was probably my fault, read my diary as a teenager, refuses therapy, treated my brother/men like Gods. Now she says everything is in the past and I need to get over it. When I tried to cut contact she called the police for a wellness check. I feel so deeply broken. She would say things then deny saying it 5 minutes later then tell me I was hearing things because I was mentally ill. This led to years of me medicating myself with the help of my Doctor because I spent years thinking I was actually insane and just made-up situations in my head.
it really helps seeing other anons talk about how they are only now starting to process things. She always tells me "it was so long ago, get over it" and I start to feel like I'm being a baby. But I didn't even understand that my mom hitting me and choking me was wrong until I was in my 20s because I allowed my bfs to get away with doing it, too. Now I know it's wrong and it opened flood gates. I ask people things sometimes like "is it ok if your mom reads your diary and tells your family what's in it? Is that normal?" and they look at me horrified and tell me no, it isn't. Did you guys fucking know that it's not normal for someone to scream at you for 10 minute if you pill a drink? I sure as fuck didn't. I spilled at a my house when my and my bf first moved in and i almost had a breakdown apologising to him. He just looked at me like "it's fine! It was an accident!" I feel like I was gaslighted so long I'm still confused on what's acceptable and not.
This is so fucking dumb but sometimes that modern family show is on and I get so jealous of Phil Dunphy, the dad. he seems so sweet and caring. I wonder what i would have turned out like if i had a goofy dad around that cared for me and supported my hobbies.
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I just had the stranges thing happen…
Some backstory: my ex and I have been together since we were teens and broke up in our eraly 20's (it was a ldr), we're still friends and close (we talk like once every two weeks about life/work) and he's in a new relationship. He and his current gf have been together for almost a year now, never met her but the three of us had an "online threesome" (pls don't judgde me) and she was waaay more into me than him, idk if it was just for show or not since she claims to be het.
And now she contacted me if I could make a nsfw video for my ex so she can "surprise him" with it since he's been overworking himself again. If she asked for advice as to what gets him off I wouldn't mind, but why this? She claimed that she's too tired and unmotivated to have sex with him but that the video would "help them". She's chubby and apple shaped so I wonder if she's just insecure about her body or just in general (him and are are both fit)? Is she secretly a lesbian? Like lady wth are you doing lmao
I'm not hating on her or anything but that seems so incredibly odd. I also hope she doesn't read here
The problem with millenial/zoomer men is that they've been raised to be useless. A good majority are manchildren who think playing video games and consuming merchandise are admirable personality traits. They've neglected learning anything in the trades, domicile, or finances. Now when women seek relationships, they're half expecting to encounter manbabies who need to be trained in how to handle life and function in their relationship.
Women are now feeling forced to take the lead in all aspects of the relationship, or else fear they will wind up alone. Women are settling for bullshit more and more while society condescendingly cheers us on as "superwomen." Despite feminism making strides to ensure that women must now go to work 40 hours a week, hand over half their paycheck, support their family, pick up after their so-called partners, be handy, and take no nonsense while simultaneously being unfaltering saints–it has yet to shake up the notion that women can be seen as normal, complete individuals without a het relationship.
This is what we get. "Wearing the trousers" is a fucking cope to prevent the acknowledgement that they saddled with losers.
I prefer women so no>>596517
Nah, I'm over him, I only did it because I haven't gotten laid in like a year
Man, reading it all again we sure are weird lmao
Sigh. My ex seems like he could definitely improve (hard worker when he does have a job, understands the value of money, doesn't like asking for help etc) but right now, he's in the useless stage. Like he knows what he should do to be a real man in his early twenties but just isn't doing it, while feeling bad about not doing it. Maybe it's a mix of some form of depression and being let off the hook/babied by his mom. He often only does things when asked to.
Ffs my mom would've disowned me if I failed 3 full years of college.
So yeah. Yeah it's common.
Hell, even many of my more successful and self sufficient male friends have disgusting sinks, or only ever make plain rice/pasta.
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I'm officially laid off. I'm studying to become a Pharmacy Technician but I was hoping for a few more months of cushioning while I finish the class. Now I don't have a cert and no job.