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HAPPY MILKSOMMAR

File: 1592861143894.jpg (174.52 KB, 1280x828, confesss.jpg)

No. 573699

A ready receptacle for your untold misdeeds.
Previous thread: >>>/ot/555948

No. 573706

when I was 9 I farted at church several times. I've always felt guilty for this

No. 573711

I left high school last year still harbouring a pretty huge crush on one of my teachers (an older goth/alternative woman) and would like idly look up her online personas from time to time, I accidentally found out about a personal Twitter she barely used and consequently a private Instagram. I knew it was all sort of wrong but I was obsessed with finding out about her past online personas because she seemed to be in some interesting subcultures.
A couple of days ago I was searching one of her screen names in quotes and came upon a big txt file, her email was listed next to what was seemingly a password? I did some digging/tried her email on a 'has my password been compromised' site and found that the list was a leak from a derelict early 2000s goth website she used to use.
She seemingly hadn't found out about the leak or changed anything though, because I tried (deplorably) to use the password to log into her 2017 Twitter and it worked. I had a snoop around which was actually very disappointing and then logged out and felt super guilty for a while, then suddenly decided to log into her Instagram - which also worked, and had its rewards since it's a private account.
I know I will never be able to face/speak to her again now, I'm constantly feeling either guilty or self-congratulatory. There's a massive adrenaline rush to logging in and I'm finding it hard to stop.

No. 573713

So, I think I just outed my dad as a closeted gay man after going on a trolling spree on Instagram.

I always have a blank/empty insta or twitter I use to lurk so I logged in and had this intense compulsion to ask my dad if he was “out of the closet yet” on his birthday post.

For context, me, my mom, and my late grandma all suspected my dad was some kind of gay/bisexual whatever because of various things we found of his over the years. The worst was finding his tranny porn stash myself as an 11 year old on the office computer.

He tries really hard to be this masculine misogynist with a harem of women kissing his ass…

It is really autistic admittedly but I left comments in a few places and I notice his sister started talking to him again, so I assume he must be proper shook right now. Idk the bitter child in me that never got over his abandonment is happy because it is the smoking gun I have kept hidden in my heart all these years. I knew someday I would get back at him somehow.

So yeah…this is like some Greek tragedy.

No. 573715

>>573713
Oh, I forgot to add my dad’s family are level 99 Christians, and he has justified abusing my mother and I with the excuse of it is ok to be a douche because he is male.

Plus all his friends are super uppity too. Idk I hate him and those wannabes he runs with.

No. 573726

>>573713
this reminded me of something. Years ago I accidentally found out that my uncle is gay. He doesn't know I know and I've never told anyone but he's 60 and still in the closet. I thought he might come out after his mom died because she was the only member of our family who was religious, but he hasn't. He's been "single" forever so maybe he's just used to that aspect of his life being private. It's not like your situation, because to my knowledge he's not an abuser or an asshole so I feel kind of sad for him but maybe this is how he wants things. I hope karma comes for your dad.

No. 573728

>>573726
I feel kind of bad but then I remember how when my grandma was dying, she hinted that my dad had raped my mom to try to baby trap her. She got an abortion afterward and it explains why when she had a psychotic meltdown after their divorce, she was convinced her “son” was taken from her at the clinic.

I have never had the balls to ask my mom how late she was, etc. I just don’t want to open that can of worms, not yet.

No. 573735

I had a dream where I ended up naked in a room with one of discord friends but never did anything sexual cuz we ended up arguing. We argue all the time on discord too, I've never met him. The weird thing is, in the dream I felt like fucking him even tho I rejected him some days ago and he has a gf. Is it my subconscious mind telling me I like him or want him to fuck me? I honestly think he's ugly. Why are dreams so creepy?

No. 573778

I love my boyfriend and we're extremely compatible in most ways, but I'd be lying if I said it doesn't bother me from time to time that I'm noticeably more attractive than he is.

No. 573787

i started playing world of warcraft a week ago and i can feel myself quickly becoming a NEET.

No. 573794

>>573778
Why? Sorry, just curious. Do you care what other people might think? My bf is noticeably more attractive than me (neither of us are anything special tho) and I wonder what goes through his head about it sometimes.

No. 573795

>>573787
>>573787
Right now is the best time to be a neet anon.

No. 573798

>>573794
It's a combination of me being shallow and also a bit of a concern that other people are judging us. Doesn't help that more than one person has straight up told me that my bf is "dating way out of his league."

That being said, it's mostly not a big deal and I usually only find myself fixating on it if I'm feeling insecure and depressed in general.

No. 573800

>>573798
>people are judging us.
a few incels and karens assuming he has a big dick/money isn't a huge deal.

No. 573801

>>573800
Thank you. I agree lmao.

No. 573802

I'm too old (24) and never got to (or am going to get to) be "e-girl pretty". And I'm having a hard time coping with it. I know they're all whores anyway and that they'll be used as cumrags and be wrinkly from all that makeup by age 18 but it makes me feel inadequate since i wear little to no makeup and am not very pretty nor am i very skinny or very curvy. Just "cute" and that's that.
At least i have a brain that i used to get a degree instead of thotting online. Kind of a cope post ngl but i'll be the last one laughing in a few years. I hate e-thots,they ruin my fucking platforms and make me feel bad for not being a slut.

No. 573810

>>573802
Wtf don’t give up, get surgery

No. 573817

>>573810
What the fuck, this is terrible advice.

Being an e-girl is nothing to aspire to, being so vain and self obsessed that you can't be happy unless you're in the top tier of super popular, desirable girls is pathetic and surgery is not the answer. Getting a fucking life is. Being average is not the end of the world when you have things other than your looks and male attention to focus on.

No. 573819

If my boyfriend broke up with me or ghosted me, I honestly don't think I would care. I would obviously be very sad for like a day but then I think I would be easily able to just disconnect from my emotions/depersonalize and be relatively apathetic.

I love him a lot but like I don't feel the dread of him leaving me anymore, maybe I'm mentally preparing my self for the eventuality if it.

No. 573822

>>573819
Samefag but I think I just want to not feel anything again, before I met him I kind of just existed and planned to kill myself that year.

No. 573830

>>573819
Honestly I kind of feel the same way. Since you mention suicidal thoughts I'm guessing mental health issues for some of can just cause this detachment? Because I love my boyfriend too but if he broke it off I think I'd be fine fairly quick. I've always been more or less detached in my relationships with guys. I ghosted my first boyfriend actually. I feel bad about it.
Long story short, I can relate.

No. 573833

File: 1592878589503.jpeg (53.23 KB, 500x258, 2530DAD4-F9DE-4EC0-B7FA-4C92B5…)

>>573830
>>573819
that’s a sign ladies

a sign it’s almost time

No. 573835

>>573802
lmao you sound salty as fuck and trying to cope so hard by labelling literally every pretty girl online with a following as a stupid cumrag when a large majority of them goto college and have boyfriends.

Either go to the gym and learn how to emphasise your features or stop being sour & get comfy in your mediocrity.

No. 573841

Around a year ago I sent something to a cow that incited a little bit of a spectacle. I even sent an apology afterwards. I laugh thinking about it, but looking back, what I did was kinda psycho.

No. 573845

>>573830
I'm the same. I've always been detached from relationships in general so if I ever broke it wouldn't be long before I found someone.

No. 573860

>>573819
>>573833
>>573845
Then I guess you never had a healthy relationship to begin with

No. 573863

>>573860
I don't think anyone was saying that

No. 573868

>>573841
Hehe which spectacle. Unless you’re the Erin(self cow thread) or Luna (don’t think that was a year ago tho) anon no one cares

No. 573869

>>573860
Some people just move on fast

No. 573874

I've had vivid dreams about dying in specific ways; suicide, the man who's supposed to be my partner chokes me, stabs me, drug od, etc etc. not having any intrusive thoughts or anything as a result or severe sleep interruptions, just really strange and lifelike depictions of violence towards me. i wonder if it's some manifestation of suppressed guilt even though i haven't done wrong. god I'm fucked

No. 573881

File: 1592888434219.jpeg (87.78 KB, 1242x1403, 77C1CE43-1E75-4647-A5C1-7F80D9…)

>>573778
It sounds like your relationship is good but be wary he isn't delusional! See pic related.

>>573802
>>573835 is right. You sound gross, it's hard but try to have some sympathy for these young women. For fuck's sake you're 24 and that's not old.

No. 573882

File: 1592888558784.jpeg (146.34 KB, 750x1000, C4173458-FAA2-4F8F-8BA7-92D651…)

>>573874
> the man who's supposed to be my partner chokes me, stabs me
This you?

No. 573886

>>573817
im just saying it sounds like they want to be an egirl, so why not give it her best shot?

No. 573892

>>573819
I've just reached this point in my relationship of several years. I am tired of fighting to be with my partner, but I don't have it in me to break it off. He struggles to cope with frequent and dramatic mood swings which makes it very difficult to rely on him. I think I would like to continue to be in his life, but not as his partner. I also hurt him early on in the relationship and he has never forgiven me for it, even though I've changed a lot in the years that followed in an effort to repent for my mistake and reform my behaviour. Now I am tired of feeling like I am not worthy of forgiveness. I believe we do care for each other deeply, but I find myself caring less and less about making the effort to stay in the relationship.

No. 573895

>>573892
Dude same, just dumped him… I snapped one day and just realized that if I choose it this is going to be my entire life, and I could not see myself marrying or being with someone like him at all, and I also couldn't see him changing, so I'm fucking gone lol, since I've said that hes gone legitimate psycho and threatened to break all my belongings, so I feel pretty justified in my choice.

No. 573907

>>573895
you sound pretty nuts yourself.

No. 573910

>>573907
how is she nuts lmao? naive for waiting to break up until he threatened to break her belongings, maybe. nuts? nah.

No. 573915

I eat my boogers and the calluses off my feet

No. 573916

>>573915
Now this is proper filthy. Why are you subjecting yourself to eating excrement like a goblin?

No. 573920

>>573916
I don’t know, they taste good I guess. I’ve been eating my boogers since I was like 5 and have recently started eating the dead skin off my feet.

I’m still embarrassed that my mom caught me doing the latter and have never lived it down…while still doing

>Edit:

On the bright side, at least I don’t eat my own shit. Even I have standards.

No. 573931

>>573920
That is truly degenerate and disgusting behaviour but also so harmless that only a mental case could get mad.
Please just get some gum or almonds or something lmao.

No. 573937

I find it very arousing when my boyfriend gets angry/annoyed with me. Sometimes I want to do things to purposefully make him annoyed. I don't act on it because Its unhealthy and I love him but it still crosses my mind regardless.

No. 573938

>>573937
Me too anon, me too.

No. 573940

>>573787
well you can enjoy WOW without destroying your life, exercise and read daily to maintain your normieness, and get buff enough that you cosplay as a /fit/ female orc

No. 573951

During the beginning of our relationship, I was very adamant about not being involved in the life of my boyfriend's step-kid. Since I didn't know if we'd be together or not (really wasn't down to be mommy 2.0 so early into our relationship) and knew his ex-wife was still bitter over their divorce/openly admitted she had feelings for him. Fast-forward a few years later when my boyfriend and I are now engaged but I'm back in my home country for a few weeks to take care of some personal business. His ex-wife ends up drunkenly call me that day claiming I'd be a terrible mother, I'm only with my fiance to get a green card, and blah blah blah. I end up flipping my shit and saying that I don't give two fucks about her or her kid and that even if I did care about her son, I'd never love him the same as the biological kids I'd have with my husband.

Cue me coming back from my trip and my fiance is now pushing me to get along with his kid and at least have a friendly relationship with him since I'll be part of the family. Every time I look at his son, I'm always reminded of that argument and can't help but feel guilty because I can tell this kid wants me to be mom 2.0

No. 573955

File: 1592908676750.jpg (30.32 KB, 564x564, 5cd4dfc0ccfd5e59ea77a836cd986b…)

>>573802
>mfw reading this as a 30-year old
Once you hit 28 looks will lose its meaning to you and you'll learn to accept that the society considers any woman over 19 a waste. Focus on becoming a better person, making a career and learning new skills instead - they will carry you far further because your looks will fade away and stop serving you very fast. Keep in mind that the e-girls are photoshopped and filtered to hell and a lot of them look like regular young women IRL, wouldn't be the first time I see a popular one in the wild and barely recognized them due to them having about 20 pounds more on them than in the photos, a bigger nose, smaller lips and pronounced eyebags.

No. 573958

>>573787
I wish I could regain that sort of passion for WoW. I had an obsessive phase back in highschool but every time I've tried to play since then has been a failure, I can't get back into it. I could use another hobby, even if it's an addictive game.

No. 573962

>>573835
I mean egirls are pretty much thots lite and thots-in-training, she's not wrong.
And not "literally every pretty girl online" is an egirl, you're reaching.

No. 573965

>>573951
This is why kids like us eventually learn about your tactics and learn to see through your bullshit, and we will always be priority number 1 to your SO.

No. 573967

>>573951
Lmfao thanks for confirming that all step-parents are evil.

No. 573970

been marathoning rick and morty and I enjoy it way too much

No. 573974

>>573951
Honestly why the hell did you even get involved with the guy if you knew youd be stepping in as parental role or mommy 2.0 as you call it? What makes you think the real mom wont tell him or the kid all about this which could lead to a long awaited divorce or separation? Cant imagine being the kid thinking they'd get a nice new parental only to end in another divorce of dad and possibly the 2nd or 3rd step moms not working out. Either step up and accept this kid or go to make your own anon.

No. 573978

whenever i start getting off i start to think about how undesirable i am, and it turns me off as i start crying every time

No. 573981

I still suck my fingers.

No. 573985

>>573981
Yeah, well, and I still eat my boogers.

No. 573991

I have a problem with adderall and I don't know what to do about it. The thing is I think I actually have ADHD due to family history and me being a mess my whole life but I had a horrible experience with a shitcunt Karen psych trying to get diagnosed and I'm terrified to try again.

My situation with adderall feels like how they say under-21s often binge drink dangerously because they don't often get the chance to drink alcohol. This is what my adderall habits are like because I don't have enough to just take it every day like a normal person who's prescribed it. I got into a habit of binging it when I had to pull all nighters for college and that's still what I do because it feels like the most efficient way to use the limited supply I have? But it's destroying me.

I don't know what to do because I need to find a place to live, finish my last college class, look for jobs, get my life together. And all I want to do is lay in my bed and cry wishing I could kill myself unless I'm on adderall. But my mental health has deteriorated to the point where adderall doesn't help anymore and it just makes me into a paranoid tweaked out mess and don't even get me started on how the sleep and food deprivation affects me. I don't know where to turn to for help, I'm not an addict and I'm scared to tell any doctor or mental health professional because I want to get a prescription and use it normally and healthfully someday. And I just don't know how I'm going to fix my life and get out of this horrible depression without it.

It's so far from being as bad as it could be but I already feel so lonely and isolated because of my problem with it.

No. 573994

I fully, fully intend to get breast reduction surgery as soon as I can afford it.

It's not that huge a confession but since I grew up and still am poor with no property to my name I figure it's kind of irresponsible.

No. 573999

>>573985
>>573981
This exchange made me chuckle a bit.


My 100% autistic confession: I pretend that I'm an alien trying to blend in with humans without being noticed when I'm around other people that I don't know well.

No. 574003

>>573868
It was Micky. This is the ask I sent her that started the whole thing >>./w/732616. The apology I sent to her is what makes me feel crazy >>>/w/733101.

No. 574011

Woke up straight out of having a sex dream about my ex, I hate him irl. I think I even hated him in the dream, still had to get myself off after waking up all worked up..The shame. I've whinged about him on here before. He's an ass but I haven't slept with anyone else since we broke up two years ago.

No. 574022

>>573985
fucking kek anon, this got me since i'm reading through the whole thread.

No. 574024

I want to break up with my partner because our relationship is long distance and I care more about my life and friends where I'm at than him. I tried to break things off last weekend (in person), but felt so sad for him that I ended up saying we can keep trying even though I'm 97% sure I still don't want this. I feel awful either way.

No. 574029

>>574024
I'm with you anon. It's ok to be selfish. I broke it off with my LDR covid bf awhile ago and I'm happy to have more time to myself instead of being stuck on a computer or phone call with him for multiple hours a day.

No. 574030

>>574024
It causes more pain to slowly peel a bandaid off than it does to quickly rip it off.

No. 574032

>>574029
I'm so glad that it worked out for you! I just really don't have time and it's unfair to him.

>>574030
I wholeheartedly agree with you, it's just hard. This is a good reminder, though. Thank you, anon.

No. 574064

>>573981
Me too and I sleep with an ugly, smelly monkey plush named "Kiki" that I had for my 1st Christmas. Kek

No. 574082

comet cleaner smells so good i want to eat it so bad

No. 574090

File: 1592933162503.jpg (34.68 KB, 536x680, clownery luv.jpg)

Good lord, I'm aware this is petty and stupid but I need to confess my sins in a place nobody will know about.
I'm the owner of a small discord server (30 people consistently, but on good weeks it can get 50+ people) with no particular theme besides it being a place for people from a shitty mobile app to have a better place to talk. One member, Dora, is not the most liked person. She's annoying, goes on the gaming voice chat even though she won't play games with people and keeps talking over others while they're trying to play (it's often this one strategy based game so communication is important), keeps opening stuff next to the mic and won't mute it while she's talking to her family members. She's annoying but we thought she was harmless, also the simpy boys protected her at all costs when the other admins would call her out, so we kept her.
I never showed it, but I particularly hated her fucking guts because while I don't mind girls being flirty, she was always coming a bit too hard on all the boys in the server, including my bf, even though he already told her to back off and blocked her in the app (but not on the server because he's a retard when it comes to discord). She would also say petty shit to me and the other female admin, while at the same time preaching HURR DUR GIRLS UPLIFT GIRLS on the channel.
When we realised someone was screenshotting our messages and sending them somewhere, me and the other two admins did a little snooping and figured out it was none other than Dora herself. I actually was the one to get the proof, but because I knew this wouldn't be enough to get the simps convinced she should go without protest I photoshopped screenshots of her talking shit about most members, including one of the most beloved and protected members that has a disability and everyone goes apeshit if you say anything about him. It was shit so vile that I felt bad even just writing it out for a fake screenshot, but holy shit it worked.
People on the server hate her and the shitstorm even hit the app, and she deactivated her account there as well as blocking most people on the server. Before she did she tried to tell people it was fake, but it was just too convenient of an 'excuse', and coupled with the actually genuine proof of her snitching and people confirming it, she had no way to convince people. And to my luck, turns out Dora was mean to people on the app before, but not on the levels of the screenshots, but it was enough to make people believe it without question.
Anyway, I feel kinda bad because she seemed like she just wanted attention, but she annoyed me and bitch got got.

No. 574127

When I was a kid I refused to get undressed around my pets in case they were animorphs

No. 574130

>>574090
Discord "communities" sound like hell

No. 574137

I get food recommendations from cows in the pro-ana scumbags thread.

No. 574178

I get pretty severe derealization as a result of my anxiety. It's pretty chronic and I can literally go entire years feeling completely unreal. I've never met anyone who gets it this bad and even therapists seem stumped when I say that I don't feel like anything is real. I've had people accuse me of being on drugs, or say that what I'm describing sounds like psychosis. It gets so alienating not having anyone understand what you're going through that it's honestly hard not to actually feel like I'm actually just stuck in a dream, or that I died and am in some weird purgatory state now. All the research I've done on the problem says that it's just anxiety, but I've never been able to find any sort of coping skill that actually stops it from happening entirely.

No. 574193

>>574178

I had this a few years ago and it lasted about 1.5 years with the first part being pretty bad. I'd definitely call that first part at least mild psychosis. But 'mild psychosis' is relative to how 'shot by the cops' regular psychosis can be.

No. 574219

>>574178
what does derealization feel like? have you tried different meds for it?

No. 574223

I genuinely sleep better at night knowing most people will not amount to shit in their lives and that nobody is special and that I'm not exempt from that. Makes life a whole lot easier knowing that in the grand scheme of things most shit just does not matter so I'm not in a rush to go anywhere and I'm not interested in continuing to try and compete with other people.

Yes I am edgy and depressed, but at least I'm content.

No. 574234

I want to off myself so badly and I'm so annoyed there isn't just a button I can press that will hurl me into the void of unexistance

No. 574264

i like women sexually
since i was young ive always wanted to be the boyfriend and take care of a girlfriend i lived from 12-17 id’ing as trans until i detrans’d
since doing so ive had conflicting feelings of wether i want to be a cute gf or have one . in an ideal world id be born with a penis and id be able to be with a girl i cant allow myself to even entertain the thought of being with a girl if im in a womans body too i hate my body so much id be too embarrassed to show it to another woman
ive had hetero intercourse with my current bf and i enjoy it but i still wish i could be a straight male and ejaculate inside a girl. despite bf im not really attracted to men and am 100% not into pegging men or anything i dont allow myself to be feminine because i hate myself christ im an autoandrophiliac

No. 574277

>>574264
I feel sort of the same way, only i've never trans-ed myself. When I fantasize about women, I have to not imagine me or my body or else I feel sick. I wouldn't say that most of my fantasies involve me being a man, but they do involve me being sort of disembodied and formless.

No. 574289

I don't find people of my own race attractive. I don't think _everyone_ is ugly or anything but I don't find most sexually attractive or good looking at all.

No. 574290

>>574289
Same honestly. There are very specific ethnic groups and features of my race I find attractive. People awill be quick to call me a self hater too where I live but I don't find white people attractive at all either so lol

No. 574297

>>574219
It's a perception thing, I guess? You literally don't perceive anything as being real. It kind of feels like you're in a 24/7 dream is the best way I can explain it. It's really frightening if you don't understand what's happening to you, but to my understanding, it's a symptom of severe anxiety and that essentially your brain is like, detaching you from your surroundings because it thinks that you're dying.

I've tried all kinds of drugs and nothing has made a difference for this particular problem. Effexor helped my anxiety, but the derealization stuck around. I know from experience that it'll go away eventually, but it's extremely annoying that whenever I go through this, it sticks around for literal fucking years at a time. First time took me roughly two years to come out of it. This time around it's been about a year so far.

No. 574298

>>574289
I'm Arab but I haven't seen one single guy from my parents country that I've found attractive. Even among my relatives the women range from average to beautiful while the men are all homely and take zero care of their appearance.

No. 574300

>>574289
I'm latina, which isn't a race I know but I prefer the native looking Mexican dark skinned men to the european looking guys.

No. 574301

>>574298
>>574289
It makes sense imo. I'm arab as well and have probably only ever found 2 arab men attractive in my entire life. I think if you're surrounded by your own ethnic group all the time, you become bored and even realize that in a way we all honestly look very similar. Also, if you see similar behavioral patterns and mindsets among men within an ethnic group , and you dislike that mindset, you're bound to be put off by men who look like them. I think that's why so many arab girls become gross weeaboos kek. They just want the complete opposite appearance wise and culturally, even if they didn't have a necessarily bad experience with arab men.

No. 574307

>>574301
I'm not exactly surrounded by them since I don't live in an Arab community or anything like that. I just don't like the way they look or style themselves.

>I think that's why so many arab girls become gross weeaboos kek.

Really? I had no idea lots of arab girls are weebs lol. I have seen dozens of arab koreaboos though, mainly because of bts.

No. 574314

Yesterday, I accidentally dropped my roommate's toothbrush into the toilet.

No. 574316

>>574289
>>574301
Yeah in my own country the popular census is that most Arab men are very ugly with the exception being Mehgrabi, Palestinian and Lebanese men

No. 574317

>>574310
I'm this poster >>574301. I'm from palestine and I can acknowledge that palestinian men are attractive, however I think at a certain point being attractive doesn't equal being physically intriguing, does that make sense? I hope it does lol. I might not be one to talk. I live in America but I live in a city with a huge palestinian, Lebanese, and Syrian population. At this point I'm just sick of it. I find myself attracted to those who are only half arab and half hispanic, white, or asian.

No. 574319

>>574307
lmao yes. 2 of my cousins are weeaboos and 3 people I used to talk to are as well. One of them even refuses to speak English and will only speak broken Korean. I don't talk to any of them anymore naturally. It's an epidemic.

No. 574320

>>574317
I get it but objectivity you are better off then vast majority of women in terms of having attractive males, I mean in my nation attractive men belong to one specific ethnic group and inter-racial relationships are highly discouraged

No. 574335

every time a girl I know posts a photo of themselves I can't help but grill it, but with weirdly good intentions

> Why did they think this was a cute photo of them

> Why did they pose that way
> Why is that the background
> Why did they decide to post their 3 photos in that order, the 2nd one is nicer than the first
> I wish I could dress them
> That outfit is doing them 0 favors

I watched too much ANTM and project runway growing up.

No. 574336

I lost 20 pounds during quarantine and not at all because I wanted to be skinnier. I literally just wanted to see how much weight I could lose in a short amount of time out of sheer boredom and the need to prove to myself that I can accomplish something. I actually hate how I look now but my brain still wants to keep going just to fucking say I did it. I guess the good thing is that I can eat all my favorite foods and a shit ton of it for like 3 months straight once I get off this wild fucking ride kek.

No. 574339

>>574335
I think I make good choices but I want a friend like you to help with my social media. I feel too self absorbed asking friends which selfie is better.

I miss when reverse image search wasn't a thing, so you could post stuff online anonymously for feedback.

No. 574345

>>574339
There are ways to avoid reverse imaging lol. Just screenshot.

No. 574350

>>573955
thank you anon,that dog pic made me feel better,i love you

No. 574372

>>573802
24 is still super young you clown
But yes, in the long run having an education and getting a decent job is way better than thotting it up. Especially now that people are quick to ditch things once a new thing comes along.

No. 574373

My roommate keeps pissing on the floor because apparently, men can't aim into a toilet properly. He never cleans it up which annoys me greatly.
He throws his clothes all over the bathroom floor as well, so I use his clothes to wipe up his piss since he never even washes his clothes.

No. 574374

>>574373
fucking disgusting, living with men: never again, i hope you find a new place/roommate soon

No. 574384

I’m so fucking jealous of men who meme themselves into becoming a sissy. I’ve been praying to god every goddamn night to just turn me gay and it is still not happening. I’m so so tired of simultaneously yearning for and yet being disgusted by male attention. I just want to love and be loved.

No. 574386

>>574300

I'm latina as well and I feel exactly the same. Have you seen ya no estoy aquí? The main character is extremely beautiful. He's a perfect example of handsome dark skinned Mexican man with strong native features imo. I love that look.

No. 574387

>>574384
anon those were likely closeted bi-sexual AGPS the whole time, you can't meme yourself into changing your sexuality

No. 574396

>>574335
caring about social media this much baffles me unless you were trying to make money from it.

>>574384
i'm sorry anon, you cannot meme yourself into becoming same-sex attracted. get some fancy sex toys and massages regularly. if you want to give up on dating men do it.
>disgusted by male attention
this sounds like a deeper problem, get some professional help sis

No. 574397

File: 1592983412927.jpg (61.71 KB, 670x788, 20chai1.jpg)

>>574386
>>574316
>>574320
this is what I mean mean, sadly these type of men though rarely date/marry outside their clan

No. 574420

i was "seeing" this guy for a month or two, never made it official but he said lots of lovely things to me a month before ghosting me and ultimately dropping me to state dating his friend.
im not so much mourning the loss of him because we never dated and he obvi didnt care about me for him to start dating someone else, but just the way he treated me that first month. i've never had someone care (or pretend to care) about me like that and i don't think i'll ever find someone who will be so romantic or say such lovely things to me again :/ wack

No. 574423

>>574300
Latina here too and I don't like gueros at all. I find ugly blonde men unless they are beautiful, and pale skin looks weird to me. I've lived in Europe half of my life and the only men I'm attracted to are mediterranean.

No. 574428

I often feel like my mind and my body are two complete separate entities, with my mind merely observing what my body does on autopilot. I often get dizzy when I stare at myself in the mirror, because the reflection doesn't look like "me".

No. 574430

>>574428
Ooooh, that's depersonalization. I'm the derealization anon from further up the thread. We are two sides of the same coin.

No. 574431

>>574430
Sorry I'm retarded. Just realized I made that post in a different thread. Anywho yeah, I have derealization. It's basically what you have except that all of my surroundings look off and unreal, and I don't feel connected to any of it.

No. 574459

My ex made increasingly bizarre and terrible choices- the worst being stopping work, selling his business, and just letting the money run out; all while arguing he had it completely under control.

He abused me in every way. Financially, emotionally, and at the end physically. I’m embarrassed at how much money he owes me (prob over 10k). When I finally cut him off, he ended up literally homeless with all his (very expensive) belongings in storage. He argued that he shouldn’t sell any of his things bc he wouldn’t “get the true value” and I’m “fucking stupid.” I told him he was going to end up not paying and losing everything.

He was recently locked out of his storage unit and it’s being auctioned. I’m buying it.
I’m going to hold his sentimental items hostage unless he signs the check for the excess over to me (storage companies can only keep $ from the auction for what is past due).


Tl;dr my abusive ex has his entire life in a storage unit I’m buying at auction. Fuck him.

No. 574466

>>574459
This is an awesome power move but tbh I'm a little nervous for you over the fact that he was physically abusive before and seems entitled. I hope he doesn't try to get violent towards you again when he finds out he can't talk his way into getting access to his stuff w/o paying you just because he'd know you own it now.

No. 574478

>>574459
Like other anon said just be careful seeing as he has resorted to being physical with you before, he's already passed that threshold so now that you're his ex and holding sentimental items hostage what's to stop him going nuts? You said he's been heading down a road of making one bad decision after another.. he might not have good enough decision making skills right now to even worry about going to jail for assault.

I have an ex who turned physical at the end. I could destroy his new relationship with evidence that after he cheated on me to be with a new girl.. he immediately cheated on her too. I'm tempted to get that revenge but you have to weigh up whether it's worth the possible backlash from him. Sounds like this guy has nothing to lose, that's a dangerous scenario.

No. 574489

It took me years but I finally came forward about my abusive, possible pedo ex from when I was 17 (he was 24). Our relationship was consensual save for the time he became violent with me. The issue is the emotional and mental abuse he subjected me to in order to keep me quiet and loyal to him, even after the fact. He'd tell me we'd be together when I was 18 and then broke it off for the final time a week before my 18th birthday, then skipped town immediately after for a new job. We worked together and I later found out from coworkers that he'd had a girlfriend the entire time – they'd even met her. I reached out to her and told her everything he'd done and she never replied. He told me she'd laughed about it, so I figure he convinced her I was just a crazy teenage girl. If this story sounds familiar, I'd posted about it in the loser ex-boyfriend's thread in /g/ forever ago.

Turns out that the job he'd gotten was at a company wherein his apologist gf's dad is an important figure. Upon starting to unpack the shit he'd put me through, I realized I wasn't a one-time thing and he has a pattern of encouraging the crushes teenage girls harbor for him – he'd giddily tell me about how a 16-year-old in the youth group he helped his roommate run would "try flirting with [him]" and one time she just happened to "trip" into his lap. Before we even began sleeping together and were just friendly coworkers, he told me about the time he shadowed a middle school music teacher as part of his degree's program. He realized teaching wasn't the career path for him when "an eighth-grade girl tried flirting with [him]."

I typed up a 6-pages-long exposé detailing everything he'd done and sent it to that aforementioned job under his gf's dad's thumb's HR department. I'd found out he'd been applying to grad schools recently and panicked, thinking he may actually become a teacher. Hopefully there will be no more gold-digging for him and he'll lose everything as this comes to light. I'm not sure if I should anticipate a response from the company or not. I sometimes feel guilty for doing this because he believes I've forgiven him, and sometimes I think that I have. Then I remember he went on to lead a normal life while I'm still traumatized and unlearning the behaviors I picked up from that period of my life. I keep having to tell myself that he deserves this.

No. 574497

>>574466
>>574478
Ty anons, that’s something for me to consider I hadn’t given much thought. A man with nothing to lose is the most dangerous kind.

Despite how awful he is, I wouldn’t feel right throwing those things out; but on the other hand, I don’t want to be a doormat and he give him these items plus a monetary reward.
I hate having a conscience, especially w him of all people.

No. 574498

>>574478
Also- I hate how someone always has a similar (or worse) situation. It really makes me ill how common it is, and how rare vindication is.

I will plant a flag in his shit and say it’s for all womankind lol

No. 574504

>>574489
do it anon expose him. He sounds like a actual pedo. Him talking about 8th graders flirting (when it was just his dirty mind) is disgusting because 8th graders are like 12-13.

No. 574540

I just bought clothes from a cow I hate myself so much

No. 574562

>>574540
Kek just why
Just don't post about immediately fucking in it to facebook like in the Abby Brown thread

No. 574566

>>574540
what did you buy? is it cute?

No. 574660

I have an obsession with trader joes. I don't know how it started (I live with my parents and don't need to buy groceries) but I find myself in one at least three times a week. I just fucking love trader joes and my house is filled with shit from there and I end up buying more before even finishing what I have. I'm 20 and I'm acting like a 60 yr old woman

No. 574668

>>574660
Bruh, same. I don't tend to buy much other than food from there, but I basically refuse to shop for groceries anywhere else.

No. 574678

>>574660
i want their delicious holiday popcorn help!

No. 574688

>>574660
strong Disney obsessed adult energy in this post

No. 574693

>>574688
I can't stand Disney , I just really like their frozen meals and chips kek

No. 574694

I'm crushing over a guy i've been talking to for over 2 years, yet have never seen his face or heard his voice. Am I going insane? Do I legitimately need a lobotomy?

No. 574721

>>574504
I did it, I posted the letter on Facebook and sent it to his HR department. I told my boss about it today since she hated him when he worked there and she turned on me.
>"you seem angrier at yourself than him."
>"you know, a lot of people in their early 20s are interested in teenagers."
>"I've done a lot of bad things in my life that I've had to apologize for. doesn't mean they should follow me forever."
>"you knew what you were getting into."

she asked why i did it and i told her i picked up on a pattern of behavior with him and he could be going to other youth groups to prey on other teenage girls for all we know. he could be in grad school to become a teacher. she said i'm overthinking it. i said he shouldn't have been able to just go on and live a normal life and she said
>"but we don't know if he's happy, he could be miserable! you never know what somebody's going through."
just completely missing the point. i'm more hurt than i'd like to admit. she said almost everything i was terrified of hearing at once. i feel like shit. i'm doubting myself again.

No. 574722

My friend that has a gf asked if we could have video sex today. I said fuck no but have been daydreaming about it since then.

No. 574736

I’m not really a believer in the paranormal but I kind of want to be haunted if it is real so I’ve been playing around with certain summoning rituals for like an entire year now. This sounds batshit crazy and stupid but Ill like try to summon certain “demons” and stuff just cause. I have a few books on demonology and such and use those as well as researching around the internet. At this point it’s basically a hobby.

No. 574739

>>574722
Keep it a fantasy anon unless you hate his gf

>>573778
Same… it affects him as well

No. 574742

File: 1593044258632.jpg (82.79 KB, 944x856, 1584334674773.jpg)

i just wanna love this dude down gat damn

No. 574748

>>574736
anon you got any links to good demon summoning rituals?

No. 574749

>>574748
Anon I wish I did, none of the ones i’ve tried have worked. And I’ve tried everything, tfw can’t even get a demon to keep me company.

No. 574750

>>574736
Hope you summon a cute demon bf/gf anon

No. 574790

>>574749
anons I can relate, tried to summon a specific ghost and seemingly no luck. god I don't even think she's a vengeful spirit or demon but I wanted to summon her so bad

No. 574812

I swear I'm almost gay but the thought of eating pussy grosses me out

No. 574816


No. 574821

I'm straight and can't realistically imagine myself in a relationship with a woman, but sometimes when I'm masturbating I think about women. I also sometimes watch solo videos of women (but I'm trying to cut porn out).

No. 574824

>>574821
I am married, but bisexual.
I exclusive masturbate to girl on girl porn because I do not believe a woman can really actually enjoy herself with another man by penetrative sex.
Maybe I am gay. I don’t know.

No. 574828

>>574824
>married
>I do not believe a woman can really actually enjoy herself with another man by penetrative sex

hows your sex life, op?

No. 574841

I think I've started falling for one of my close friends. He's made it clear that I'm special to him and that he thinks we could build a relationship. I admire him very much in return. He makes me feel empowered. I keep daydreaming about a future with him where we have a family and live an enriching life together. The problem is that while I trust him completely, I've seen him as a friend for so long that idk if I can bite the bullet. To make it worse, I'm kind of stuck in an on again off again relationship with someone who is a bit unstable.

No. 574852

i miss an old old old friend from 10 years ago so much
we broke up on terrible terms but i've forgiven him since, and i really want to reconnect with him but i don't know if he feels the same way
but these days i miss him so much i sometimes go on his socials just to see what he's been up to (i don't interact). i don't even want anything from him, just to be able to talk every once in a while
and we even used to be the best of friends. fuck this feels so bad. i'm stressed all day just thinking about wanting my best friend from 10 years ago back, and then feeling like a complete creep/autist for not being able to let go of this one friendship. i don't ever have a problem moving on from people but it's just this one man i can't forget no matter what
i feel so stupid for being unable to control my stupid, stupid yearning. fuck this so much

No. 574870

>>574841
This is so wholesome and cute. Dump unstable man and get with friend ASAP. You won't regret it.

No. 574874

>>574736
you the total opposite of me anon.
My last home I consistently got scratches that stung on my back, legs, and arms when I'd just be sitting at my desk or doing fuck all. Towards the end we had flickering lights or lights that would instantly die. All my siblings had seen specific doors slowly open or close on their own. Those damn scratches left long red lines with one making an H on my leg. I didn't believe in ghosts but I felt like I was slowly going crazy from the scratches even if I spent a whole day with my hands on the keyboard doing an essay. It felt like there was a gaze on me a lot of the time, but thankfully i don't live there so no more marks or lingering feeling.

No. 574888

>>574852
My current boyfriend and I had a messy friendship like this. We went through phases of not talking but we thought it would make our feelings go away. About 8 years I believe. I had never thought about someone the same way I thought about him. That urge of checking up on him and talking to him never went away. I would fall asleep in another man's arms and pretend it was him. I had never thought about anyone else this same way. We started talking again and we have never once regret it.
Trust yourself. If you so desperately feel pulled to him, talk to him. I'm sure the feelings were mutual. It's worth a shot anyway, considering you aren't talking right now. You have nothing to lose but potentially so much to gain.

No. 574894

>>574888
cried reading this comment. you have no idea how much i relate even though we were only friends. i've never loved another friend like this, and i've certainly not forgotten him in 10 years. my heart is breaking just thinking about how i have literally no idea what i'd even say to him in the first message in a decade
i hope you and your boyfriend are in a more peaceful situation and i'm so happy you got talking again anon

No. 574963

>>574223
i wish i could get to that mindset but right now that seems so terrifying to me and i can't make peace with it even though i know it's the truth. good for you anon

No. 575055

>>574082
get your iron levels checked

No. 575287

File: 1593144088129.jpg (29.29 KB, 473x471, hornee.JPG)

The husbando thread makes me horny every time I browse it and I love discussing being horny over them with other farmers.

No. 575306

>>575287
that's how I feel with some of the men in the male threads anon as well as the husbandos. then I look at my own collection of them and weep that my favs are assholes

No. 575309

>>575287
It doesn't make me horny, but it's my favorite thread on /m/. Feels so good when other anons agree with your taste.

No. 575329

I absolutely hate IRL porn and can't look at it because I feel awful for the women being exploited, I can't stand people trying to argue how "they're doing it out of their free will" and not seeing how badly it affects young boys in particular who think choking, slapping and anal are normal sex acts. But in fanfiction and drawn hentai I have the most degenerate fetishes and consume it like a true cumbrain because there are no actual victims and it's fiction.

No. 575409

I once had a dream that I purposefully bit someone's penis, I enjoyed it and would like to have this dream again

No. 575415

>>575329
i agree anon. i don't mind some porn, like gentle or passionate scenes, but the things you mention make me uncomfortable as well.

fanfic, though. i still draw limits at some things, but whew am i much freer.

No. 575416

>>575329
Same, for a longer while now, with the occasional exception of single female camgirls testing toys i'm also interested in. What managed to push me away from real porn once and for all was one AMA thread where some ex-pornstar was talking positivity and promoting her brand and someone hijacked the comment to share the info - with links to some individual interviews / confessions of former pornstars where they always share stories of how often what you see is technically rape but you can't say being just a viewer; and such women like the one doing an AMA and saying it's all good and positive are doing it only to lure in young, impressionable women on a false pretense they will be respected. Just awful.

No. 575420

>>574736
Look into Haitian voodoo, that shit scared me even though I'm a nonbeliever

No. 575446

I still read FictionalCharacterxReader fics.

No. 575456

>>575329
I'm not about to demand equal rights for fictional characters or say that we should ban cartoon sex drawings, but let's be real hentai is damaging young teens just the same as real porn. It doesn't matter that it's fiction because they internalize it just the same way they absorb tropes and morals from disney films.
Hentai is so normalized now but you can click on anything and see loli rape cervix prolapse scenes, you have to make a real effort to find purely vanilla consensual hentai, that's going to have affect them all. The least worst thing that can happen is that they grow up thinking that the smell of a musky unwashed dick is actually a turn on and that women only actively take part when their hips move on their own.

No. 575492

>>575456
Why the fuck do you moralfags go straight into "loli cervix prolapse" like there's nothing in between that and consensual vanilla hentai? And even if it was ridiculous crap like nipple fucking or some disgusting fetish like this it still wouldn't matter because it's all fiction and wouldn't even work in real life.
>you have to make a real effort to find purely vanilla consensual hentai
Funny I never had this problem. Maybe stop hanging around neckbeard lolicons.
>they internalize it just the same way they absorb tropes and morals from disney films.
>absorb tropes and morals from disney films
Okay this has to be a bait or underage.

>>575416
I just recently learned how the porn actresses are often coerced and forced to do shit on the spot that wasn't even scripted. It was horrifying how they're treated and I can only imagine what happens during scenes. Some of them can't have regular sex outside of porn due to PTSD and almost all of them have a history of suffering of sexual abuse and/or drug addiction.

No. 575783

As of of 2016, I’ve avoided taking my antidepressants and once in a blue moon I would take them, not voluntarily of course. However, my depression relapsed as of 2019 due to college issues and getting fired a few months later - being fired and having difficulty finding a job recently hit hard. So this could be the 3rd or 4th time I have taken with closer time gaps.

The side effects and the nausea that came afterwards were the sole reason why I didn’t take them. I never paid attention to what the medication was doing to me mentally during the past, I just felt calm and undisturbed but as of recent; I feel numb and unable to connect with my emotions - I felt nothing. I hated that I couldn’t feel anything while under medication, I just felt empty but I was stable and unbothered.

They do help, but I feel like therapy and support would help a lot more.

No. 575805

Back in my early teen years I went through a slight aussieboo phase because I had a crush on Sniper from TF2

>>575446
Bitch me too. They're my guilty pleasure

No. 575827

>>575446
me too lol i used to be a famous fanfic author back in my fandom days but now i only write fanfiction for myself and my fav characters only

No. 575860

I used to like incest fanfiction

No. 575864

>>575446
Same, plus the choice of games games

No. 575947

A long time ago, I posted my nudes on /soc/

Never again

No. 575980

I want to be his sidechick even tho he's in love with me and would kick his gf to the curb if I asked him to

No. 576010

Omegaverse shit is so fucking stupid but holy shit do I love indulging in it when I just want to read some stupidly raunchy and pointless porn.

No. 576024

I want to die. I might have thyroid cancer and if I do, I intend to opt for palliative care versus treatment. I've been suffering for PTSD for almost a decade but I've never been able to just…do it. If there's a chance, I'm taking it.

No. 576025

>>576024
hope you find peace anon

No. 576030

I think I'm falling in love with machine gun kelly, god help me

No. 576034


No. 576037

>>576030
hey anon I've been infatuated with far worse, go off and you do you

No. 576040

>>576030
He’s hot and I found his feud with Eminem particularly sexy

No. 576042

I like the idea of men more than actual men. I specially like men that were written or created by women.
Every time I tried to makeout with men their smell and feel completely disgusted me.

No. 576053

>>576042
That’s right my sis, men suck, I know feminists get mad at the idea of men having sex robots but I wouldn’t mind having a male sex robot myself. Men are gross, smelly, don’t even wash their hands before trying to touch your clit furiously and then give you an UTI.

No. 576056

>>576053
Feminists aren't a hive mind anon

No. 576060

>>576053
Feminists don't care about sexbots, men just desperately want to imagine they do because it's a sad revenge fantasy lmao.

A male sexbot would be awesome. I don't wanna deal with a real man but I'm still sexually attracted to them.

No. 576062

>>576053
I got so many UTIs during my last relationship, 3 fucking years .. magically cleared up after the breakup. I was scared that any type of penetration might bring them back but nope, I keep my toys clean so it was very much a 'him' problem. Love that I blamed myself for years and he shamed me for it.

No. 576073

Can't stand it when my friends who never went to school or don't have super skills or talents or any job history suddenly make more than me just cause they have a friend of a friend or their parents gave them their company job.

If I'm petty for wanting to be at their level or better because I put in a lot of effort towards a career but made the mistake of being unlucky in the connections department, then fine, I'm petty. I'm sick of hearing them bitch when they haven't even done much to merit what they have and should be a little grateful for it.

No. 576077

It sucks hearing this guy telling the hardships he went through while I lived my whole life comfortably as a sheltered person. It makes me feel like I'm lacking compared to him and he has more passion about what he does. I feel the urge to make up some sob stories since he doesn't know me and we just chat online

No. 576101

>>576077
kek be grateful, no need for a sob story anon. discomfort doesn't equal passion, although most people love a good underdog story.

No. 576121

sometimes i post nudes on reddit when i'm feeling horny. then a few days later i start regretting it, delete my account, and tell myself i'll never do it again. only for me to do it again a few months later.

No. 576129

It is extremely difficult for me to be around my friend who I've been friends with since childhood. Seeing someone who I was raised with do way better than me in every area of life is almost making me feel angry towards her and I don't know why. Everything was always easier for her and she had so many advantages that I didn't and I find myself secretly resenting her for it. What makes it worse is that she will often make "jokes" about how I don't have a lot of friends and it hits me that she thinks she's better than me to some degree, considering we both used to be loners. I'm also just not a priority in her life anymore. We used to hang out all the time and now we see each other once every few months due to school and her choosing to do other things over seeing me. I care about her and have even contributed towards her goals financially, however deep down It's starting to feel like our friendship is very goal based and who accomplished what in what amount of time. I don't remember the last time we just hung out and watched a stupid movie like we used to with zero walls up.

No. 576139

>>576121
You do understand that even if you delete the pics and accounts they will be in the internet forever right?
I hope you didn't attach your face or any recognizable marking.

No. 576144

I cyberstalk my ex friend, he posts on our state's meetup thread on 4chan /soc/ and I laugh at him desperately begging for women to meet him, and his feeble attempts at reaching out to women almost 10 years his junior.

No. 576160

>>575446
I still do this too and also draw self ship art, lol. It's pretty fun, I recommend it since it's drawn for your own pleasure and there's no pressure to post it anywhere.

No. 576190

>>576139
i know that once it goes on the internet then its out there forever. i always took them faceless and against a blank wall. i dont have any recognizable markings but i did edit out blemishes and moles.

No. 576201

There is an extremely good chance there are nudes and porn of me that exist somewhere on the internet. I wouldn't even know how to look for any of it.

No. 576205

>>576201
For context, an ex of mine would have uploaded them. He used to have me send him nude photo sets and masturbation videos. Something happened towards the end of the relationship that strongly suggested he was selling them to other dudes and pretending to be me.

No. 576234

>>576205
I'm sorry you had such a shit exboyfriend, like who tf does that? I've heard other stories similiar to yours where a boyfriend would pretend to be his girlfriend online and it makes me wonder how many more are out there. If a woman posting her nudes and writing 'I love being a cocksleeve uwu' is actually a dude.

I've had a similiar experience but not with a boyfriend, worst thing is all of it is me very underage, like 13-16 and I feel absolutely awful thinking about it so I just don't kek. If someone out there is watching a 14 yo me drink her pee, that's on them. I can't do anything about it. But it has made me very scared of getting pictures of myself taken because I'm afraid a pic of me with my friends could circulate around and someone would find out about all the nudes and porn of mine. Paranoia.

No. 576245

>>576201
I'm sorry that happened to you anon. I hope you never send nudes again, even to a man who you're in love with, it is never worth the risk. I hope you will also discourage anons where you can to not send them, too often it's girls who are being taken advantage of and don't realise the dangers. Girls need to stop sending personal nudes.

No. 576275

My boyfriend used to talk to a lot of girls on discord. One girl he spoke to when he was 17 and she was 14 years old at the time.

At first I didn't really think much of it, because he made it seem she just had a crush on him, that it wasn't reciprocated at all and she was the only one to try and talk to him.

Then he revealed to me almost a year after we were together that she would send him racy (not any full out nudes) pictures of herself and they even sexted at some point. This only happened because a mutual friend of ours reminded him of what happened.

Apparently he really regrets it and he doesn't like talking about it but holy fuck, I don't know anymore. Everything feels like a simulation right now.

No. 576278

>>576275
He’s lying about regretting it, anon, he knows what he did and he’s only sorry because he’s gotten caught.

No. 576279

>>576278
Seconded. Not to make you paranoid but it might mean there’s been other occurrences he won’t admit to as well.

No. 576280

>>576275
Thirding, he regrets the fact that he confessed but you disapprove and are now suspicious lol. Sorry anon.

No. 576282

>>576275
did he do this while y'all were together, bc otherwise I don't see what the big deal is. it's like a senior and a sophomore

No. 576293

>>576275
Yeah I'm sure he regrets receiving nudes from a girl kek

No. 576347

I'm parked at my junior high's parking lot and I am having a real hard time digesting the fact that it's been over a decade I went here. I want a do over, I want one so fucking bad. It feels sad and trippy, even smelling the air and the trees here is fucking my head up. I could've been so much better.

No. 576363

>>576347
Big time feels, anon

No. 576366

>>576347
Ugh, I can relate so much my tummy hurts reading this.

No. 576367

My body odour isn't pleasant but I like smelling myself. Whenever I get a whiff of my sweaty smell, I like it.

No. 576423

>>576129
i'm sorry for you anon

No. 576431

>>576347
sometimes i wish i could redo my school life too

No. 576438

>>576347
Yeah but only if you knew what you know now as an adult, I wouldn't want a redo without knowing shit. My stomach does knots thinking about having to relive high school, especially today with things being more complicated. It all seems like a weird fever dream.

No. 576467

I block people on twitter for being ugly.

No. 576477

File: 1593387328832.jpg (51.87 KB, 564x404, db8cfa4fba5bc5e2a9bbba17031205…)

>>573699
I rewatched Gone Girl just for the scene where Ami slaughters Desi, I get so turned on by it and I think about it a lot…

No. 576480

>>576467
You sound like my mother

No. 576482

Back when they were just starting to get popular,I used to get Onision and Shane Dawson confused with eachother.

No. 576483

After 3 years, my high school best friend moved back home from another state after being dumped by a guy she met on tumblr and I was psyched because I kind of was in love with her back in the day.
Now she’s been here and I can’t stand her, she’s exactly the same as she was when we were shitty teenagers. She has done absolutely no personal growth and she embarrasses me in front of my current friends and boyfriend.

No. 576488

I love the spoiler function and use it way too much

No. 576493

>>576488
I wish more people used it, both for comical affect and actual goddamn spoilers

No. 576496

>>576493
it's a rule in /m/

No. 576501

>>576482
I still get Onision and Social Repose mixed up by how shitty they both were.

No. 576504

>>576496
they still don't use it when it's actually needed tho

No. 576558

>>576501
Cheating on people is different than cheating and being a pedo.

No. 576559

>>576504
like how >>576477 could have used one

No. 576608

I think I was molested by my older cousin but i’m not really sure. I’ve never told anyone about this ever but lately after a talk with a friend about an experience someone opened up to her about at her job it sounded very familiar to mine. My cousin is 3 years older than me and around the age of 5 till I was like 9 she would ask me to play house with her and she would basically fondle me all over and this happened a lot, basically anytime we were alone. She would also insult me afterwards saying I was a “lesbian” and would ask me if I knew what that meant. I still talk to her to this day although very rarely, we only talked over social media and recently I deleted every trace of me on social media and we don’t really have each other’s phone numbers. I’ve always been really afraid to admit i’m attracted to women and I can’t help but think she had something to do with it. I never really thought it was molestation since she was only 3 years older than me but now i’m not sure. I really wish I didn’t have this realization, but I also feel like i’m being a bit overdramatic. She’s engaged to a man now and living very happily. It somehow feels unfair.

No. 576622

As my boyfriend loses weight he is developing a cute little pear shaped body. I'm actually kind of jealous. I'm short and have shitty fat distribution (all goes to neck, face, and chest kek.) I just want collarbones and some booty please lord

No. 576625

>>576622
A pear shaped body is considered shitty fat distribution for males though

No. 576628

>>576608
To be honest anon, molestation is just pretty common within family. Correlation is not causation.

No. 576638

>>576625
True but I'm not mad at it. He's tall and tone with nice muscles for all that ass and thigh.

No. 576663

i get annoyed when my parents make remarks about needing to get married but recently ive started to consider getting married and becoming a housewife.

No. 576699

>>576477
samefag, here's said scene.
warning: NSFW

No. 576768

I can't get into into porn just because I feel like all pornstars are caricatures of real people. No one really looks like that or sounds like that during sex, they look plastic and fake. It just doesn't feel intimate at all. I need to find better erotica.

No. 576779

>>576467
This is the definition of a personal problem lmao.

No. 576783

>>576768
I can only really do close-ups of genitals. Get Rebecca's fakeass chest tumors and leathery face outta my screen.

No. 576801

>>576768
I watch japanese porn to get away from all the fake butts and boobs, the visible hair extention tracks, bad tattoos and all that shit that bothers me a weird amount.

After sifting through the sea of japanese 'groped on the train' scenes I've finally found some pretty sweet/tender looking scenes with lots of foreplay, teasing, kissing, I kinda feel lonely after watching them tho lol

No. 576802

I accidently didn't eat for 12 hours and ended up accidently vomiting a bit of my dinner. I almost did the same thing today but I'm going to eat 3 hardboiled eggs

No. 576803

I'm really creatively inspired by someone who is a deeply misogynistic piece of shit. I don't support this person financially, follow their social media, or interact with them in any way, really. I just watch/look at their content for inspiration, but it's gotten to the point that I can't even do this without feeling depressed and angry. I've been in a rut for awhile and haven't been able to find anyone who so closely resembles what I'm going for in terms of my own art and style. Also, in general, I'm just really sad that someone I looked up to is so hateful and disgusting.

No. 576860

I like playing poptropica.

No. 576863

>>576801
Does good japanese porn actually exist? Most of it seems to be rape shit.

No. 576865

My ex had a habit of dating women with depression and anxiety, three of his relationships in a row were with heavily affected anxious/depressed women. I noticed early on that he almost had a desire to 'rescue' vulnerable people.

At one point in our relationship when I was really struggling mentally he claimed that he had rescued me from my depression…. I've never been so confused by a statement. He said it so confidently too. I was more depressed in that moment than I was before meeting him and it was obvious because I was desperately changing my meds over and trying and address it. Looking back I feel stupid for thinking that the whole 'rescuer' thing was coming from a place of empathy. He slowly turned abusive, slow enough that it crept up on me and then one day his ex contacted me to say he did the same to her.

No. 576871

>>576803
I had a similar thing with someone who writes stuff. I try to separate the author from the content I like but it's hard because the misogyny started to permeate all of their recent stuff. I've grown numb to it but it might be because I've been on imageboards for so long that misogyny is like the default state.
I was severely depressed and disappointed for a while but now I just try to improve myself and become better than them.

No. 576879

I've been trying to watch less porn but I feel like it's the only thing that can stop my mind from endless worries so I continue watching it.

No. 576884

>>576865
Lmao did we date the same person. My ex did this EXACT shit to me. Swooped in basically trying to be my savior when I was at my absolute lowest point. He was very sneaky about it too, didn't outright say he wanted to "save me," but that he could tell that I had "a lot of potential" and "just needed someone to be by their side and root for them." I really sincerely believed that he could still see the person I was underneath, and just wanted to support me while I worked through my issues. I couldn't have been more wrong.

Men who do this are predators, plain and simple. They tell you exactly what you want to hear so that you'll fall for them. Once they've trapped you, they start slowly eroding away at any remaining self-confidence you have left via emotional and verbal abuse. My ex gaslit me to the point that I didn't know up from down, all the while maintaining this facade that he was improving my life in some meaningful way.

Basically, I'd be extremely cautious of any man that has a history of dating vulnerable women, ESPECIALLY if he's making claims like he wanted to help, or save them.

No. 576891

>>576863
There's definitely alot of creepy gropey shit that shows up when searching it but then there's the other extreme where the man will be a more considerate lover than anything else I've seen.

I like the slightly blurred out genitals too.

No. 576905

>>576879
Same, I'm constantly worrying about lists of things that I need to do later.

It's one of the few things that fully distracts me and empties my head for a bit. The only other thing that's close to it is drinking and I can't get drunk every day and still function for work.

No. 577020

I hate how my brain is wired to be negative, no matter what I do, even for benign stuff. Like today I posted a medical bill to get reimbursed, and I couldn't help thinking that the mail is going to be lost, or the stamp will fall of the envelope, really dumb shit that has a vey low chance of happening. It's exhausting, I feel like I can't appreciate anything in my life.

No. 577027

>>577020
I can relate to so many posts on here today, like I could've written this.

I'm hoping that we'll mellow out with age? I keep meaning to try some of that positive thinking shit to 'retrain my thoughts' but it's hard to get motivated and I'm already predicting it failing.. the irony there lol

No. 577042

>>577027
>>577020
The "retrain your thoughts" stuff is code for being delusional, nothing good can comes out of it. It's better for the brain to be "wired to be negative", although I don't believe that's true, because at least you see things as they are.

No. 577050

it's so stupid and basic but i really want to be in love with someone and it to be reciprocated and just have a nice cozy affectionate relationship.

i find it hard to be like that tho because i'm stuck inside my head a lot and i find it hard to properly express myself without second thinking even when i'm really close to people.

No. 577054

I am two different people . When I'm alone , I am so much happier and my brain is so much more active and produces funnier shit and more interesting perspectives. The second I'm around ANYONE, I clam up and my brain just stops working.

No. 577055

>>573699
I really want to kill myself but I’m too much of a pussy to do it.

No. 577079

>>577054
I feel very similar, although with a lot of time and hard work I've improved my brain functioning around people a lot. Being alone vs. being around anyone else in any capacity still feels completely different though. I'm deeply, extremely, pervasively self conscious and I think I always will be. I always wonder what it's like to not be so affected by the presence of others.

No. 577137

i want to kill myself before or when i turn 30 so i dont have to deal with the rest of life.

No. 577140

Just the fact that life is unfair is enough to make me want to isolate myself from everyone and wait for the end of the world with 3 cats.

I know someone who has two really involved and loving parents who both happen to be extremely successful and intelligent. Obviously, this influenced my friend who is also very intelligent, whether it be environmental upbringing or genetics or both. She's ridiculously pretty, kind, funny, and has a good relationship with her siblings, and the thing that gets me the most, is that she is HAPPY. She's a happy and positive person. I would never want any of this to be taken away from her, but damn, can I get SOMETHING?!!?!?!

No. 577144

I like that Brandy Melville clothes feels “exclusive” to me and makes me feel smaller than I feel I am. I like that they’re considered problematic for solely catering to xs-m. I know it probably sounds shitty and possibly anachan tier.

No. 577149

>>577144
I sort of relate to this, and considering the fact that almost everywhere else I go is typically sold out of my size, I don't feel that bad about it.

No. 577152

>>577144
Why would anyone care that a brand sells a certain size? It would be like fattychans saying how they think Torrid is exclusive lmao.

No. 577165

>>576803
Yeah, hard same. Happens to me all the time. But actually, i think it's a blessing, because nothing motivates me to get off my ass and make something amazing more than seeing that shit and getting angry about it.

No. 577183

i hope my mom catches covid and almost dies so she can shut the fuck up about it being fake and "it's just the flu." she has friends who had family who got it, yet still goes on about how iT's A bUlLsHiT FaKE iLlNEsS. it's as if she personally needs to be dying from it for her to believe it. though i don't think she'll believe it even if she got it because iT's JuSt ThE fLU

No. 577228

File: 1593483692465.jpg (23.89 KB, 464x403, hold.JPG)

I don't really like dicks but I do like balls. Fun to squeeze and slap

kek

No. 577242

>>577228
Personally find them dirty and smelly and want nothing to do with them

No. 577266

I’ve been going out in the heat for months in sweaters and sweatpants because I was so self conscious and now all the sudden I feel like wearing the sluttiest shit and I’m posting slutty ass pictures. Idk what’s up with me. I think I might be searching for validation which, If my immediate reaction to wanting validation is to show off my body, I think there’s a tiny little deeply ingrained issue I need to work out.

No. 577335

I like the smell of my feet

No. 577337

>>577335
I like the smell of my sweat

No. 577338


No. 577343

>>577335
When I was a kid before bed when I took off my socks I would take out all the gunk that collected between my toes and inspect it. I don't remember if I washed my hands afterwards or not… it was really relaxing though kek

No. 577397

I drank my own pee during a depressive episode when I was 17

No. 577416

>>577397
How was the taste

No. 577421

>>577416
Very warm and salty, smell was unbearable

No. 577427

>>577421
I drank pee once and it reminded me of the time I had to gargle warm saltwater for an infection in my my mouth. Drinking salty shit is weird, your body instantly wants to reject it.

No. 577437

>>577427
>Drinking salty shit is weird, your body instantly wants to reject it.

You can pry my pickle juice from my cold, saline hands.

No. 577455


No. 577503

File: 1593531166487.png (197.73 KB, 531x409, 1.png)

>>573881
What happens when a hot guy gets with an ugly girl, though?
Does she think she rules the world?

No. 577504

>>577503
Hard to answer since it rarely happens.

No. 577505

File: 1593531447033.jpeg (93.46 KB, 500x572, EEA22F3F-3C13-4A5F-95E3-485232…)

I started liking the music from hypnosismic

No. 577514

>>577505
I am so sorry.

No. 577522

>>573955
Looks still mean something to me lol

No. 577526

I'm 28 and I hate that I'm still so shallow. I see my friends bfs and it's obvious they have settled.My preferences for men have not changed at all since 16.

Ya know how teenage girls fawn over actors and models?I'm still like this. I would rather get treated like shit by someone young/cute then be in a relationship with someone fat/ugly/old who is nice to me.

No. 577530

>>577526
An average guy who is nice to you is also an option.

No. 577533

>>577526
Sounds miserable in the long run

No. 577573

>>577526
become a cougar

No. 577619

i hope i’m asian in my next life

No. 577632


No. 577682

I know of one of my close friends' reddit account. The username has absolutely nothing to do with her actual name (I found it by chance). I read it multiple times a day and have never told her that I found it. This has been going on for around five years.

Periodically she mentions me and that makes me excited for some reason.

No. 577716

i love contrapoints. I miss her videos and when she makes those ridiculously long winded 2 hr long dramatic ass videos i get so hyped. inb4 "she? thats a man"

No. 577720

Sometimes I randomly think about how inadequate men are sometimes. I just thought in the middle of an excruciating shit, "men are pussies". I don't even hate men tbh.

No. 577752

For a bit, I thought the show about the daughter who can talk to animals was called The Dingleberries. Thank god I never told anyone about it irl.

No. 577766

File: 1593574275061.jpg (100.07 KB, 1280x720, maxresdefault.jpg)

>>576622
based. i'm tired of seeing dorito-shaped men being shilled.

No. 577777

>>577503
Basically >>577504. She most likely doesn't feel "on top of the world", but still extremely validated. Male beauty isn't a commodity like female beauty and youth. I doubt she'd break up with her boyfriend thinking she could get a hotter man, whereas men get replacement girlfriends (and wives) a lot more.

No. 577778

>>577716
me too, i like watching youtubers with high production value. also the fact she lowkey shits on the far right all the time and calls out her own community

No. 577818

I'm not a girl's girl and I hate it. I see a photo of a girl on instagram and I immediately go into judgement mode thinking that they're average or that they gained weight. When my friends complain about their relationship I secretly usually think my friend is the crazy one. I'm never ever mean to other girls , I just secretly think lowly of them. This might stem from not really ever being accepted into a group of girls and being made fun whereas guys have always been kinder to me.

No. 577821

>>577778
I like Contra a lot, even though I am mostly wary of transwomen. I also like Lindsay Ellis and Dan Olson. Philosophy Tube is good too but I find Olly's personality grating so I tune in to his content far less. These are all people with well-researched and good-intentioned content in my book.

No. 577835

>>577818
Struggling with internalized misogyny sucks, I completely understand. Especially if you've had a history of girls shunning you or you struggle to make female friends. I hope we both can grow from this issue and find decent women in our life that defeats our toxic mindset.

No. 577836

Despite being with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now, I still miss my ex terribly. Despite how abusive and cold my ex was, I still stalk his social media and I just feel like an empty sad black void inside of me knowing he easily moved on. And I know I shouldn't even consider thinking of him considering how much he has lied and hurt me. Why do we miss our abusers so much?

My boyfriend is a sweetheart though and he knows everything and is the complete opposite of him. I feel like an asshole that I can't just move on so fast. I dated this ex for five years and it was when I was 17-22 so it was in my college formative years. My boyfriend doesn't deserve me being like this but accepts me regardless. I'm grateful but I wish I could just move on. It's tiring.

No. 577838

I basically ghosted a virtual friend group I had because they became such orbiters around some girl on the same server that it made me uncomfortable. I told them I stopped joining because I'm busy but seriously, everytime I lurk a bit I know I made the right decision lol.

No. 577846

well I reread someone's suicide note, knowing what reading it did to me the first time, and now I feel like my life force has been drained out of me. i don't know why i torture myself like this. sympathizing with how the poor woman felt is the worst part of it.

No. 577851

>>577836
It's ok anon, this is a very common ordeal. I can't guarantee this is why you're missing your abusive ex in your specific situation, but usually people end up missing them because, in a sick twisted way, you feel like they invested energy in you in order to be that mean. You also value the very few good times you've had with them and almost get a high trying to reach that with them again. Your brain is going from highs and lows in a relationship to neutralness. It's literally an addiction of sorts anon. You don't miss him, you miss the stimulation, even though it was bad most of the time.

No. 577863

>>577851
Thank you so much for giving me your insight on this.

You're absolutely right, I was addicted to the high and lows being with him gave me. But I felt like I was absolutely walking on eggshells because of how easily he would just dump me. It felt like a very fucked up emotional rollercoaster ride.

I think I may need therapy at this point because it's been hard moving on and I need to remind myself it was unhealthy and toxic.

Even if not therapy, just remind myself everyday I don't miss him, just the fucked up relationship where I was okay getting scraps.

No. 577867

Don't know if anyone can relate but my period started this morning and as soon as I saw the blood I felt miserable. This is how I've felt since it started at 13 and this never changed, straight up hate it.

No. 577916

>>577836
Damn, this post could've been mine, even including the ages and how long the relationships lasted.
I know the feeling. Even though I rationally know that I was miserable when I was with my ex, I still somehow crave the passion and the sheer emotionality of it all. It had this 'just us against the world' feeling to it that was incredibly unhealthy but I still miss it.
I dream of my ex way too often as well, as soon as I wake up I feel terrible about it. Especially when my current bf, who is the sweetest person in the world, is next to me.

Seriously I think therapy would be a good idea. I've been putting it off for much too long myself because I get scared that it'll only make me miss it more, but that's bullshit really. Wishing you the best.

No. 577920

>>577867
same shit here lol i immediately feel miserable and spend the next few days until it's over also feeling miserable and bitter until it's gone - then it's like a fresh breath of air and i'm back to feeling ok

No. 577923

>>577867
just remembered flashbacks of my first period. thought my cramps were because i needed to shit. shit never came. cried on the floor and cursed my body.

No. 577931

File: 1593609178477.png (268.58 KB, 1190x622, 0201.png)

I have a massive crush on these two … I know they're scrote memes but I genuinely cannot help it they are so cute UGH where the fuck is my gf

No. 577937

>>577867
i trained myself to have an opposite effect. the sight of blood calms the PTSD, reassuring me i'm just PMSing and not having a bad wave of symptoms

No. 577941

>>577937
Me too anon. Honestly I hate the week before my period more than the period itself. Pms is honestly fucking awful for me, mentally.

No. 577947

>>577867
I hate the few days before my period, and as I get older I find it is slow to start some months? Once it fully kicks in I'm usually excited to get it out of the way

No. 577986

I would get millions of dollars if my dad and step mom died and I fantasize about it all the time to the point where it's a straight up obsession. Whenever my mom calls, I always hope it's to tell me they died in a car crash and am actively disappointed when that isn't the case.

No. 577997

>>577986
in a similar vein I'm supposed to get a trust my grandma left for me next year that's a decent chunk of money and I'm wondering if I should just risk it by moving to another state and far away from my shitty family. it's about the only good thing anyone in my family has ever given me.

No. 578000

>>577931
kek I know a girl who looks exactly like femjak on the right and I have a massive crush on her

No. 578012

I want to delete myself from all areas of the internet because an ex knows Im gc and it just feels like some sort of blackmail she'll forever hold over my head if I ever made it big in anything. I want to start over or never come back so I can't be found and only live irl.

No. 578023

>>578012

How is she going to prove this previous thought crime? All you would need to do is flatly deny it and then let the two sides screech about whether it's even bad or not while saying nothing further.

No. 578030

>>577867
I'm the exact opposite. I get really horrible PMS and when I see blood, I feel instant relief because I know those symptoms are about to subside significantly.

No. 578034

>>578023
Messages that I could only delete or edit on my side so hers is still fully there as proof. Didn't think she'd be so buttblasted over it or that it was something to cancel people over until later.

No. 578035

>>577836
I have a similar problem. I don't really miss my ex or stalk him, but I still get bogged down by memories of the relationship and how awful it was. Sometimes, I feel this sort of longing for a relationship that could have been, but never was because he's so messed up. Or, I feel like I'm too blame because I have issues as well, and I couldn't "help" him be a better man. I dated mine for the same length of time, as well as have been out of the relationship for the same length of time, as you.

I really think what happens in abusive relationships is that you miss what could have been, not the way things actually were. If your ex was anything like mine, he probably treated you like a goddess at first, then slowly began to reveal who he truly was once you two were official. It's very difficult to reconcile with the truth when you've been so heavily manipulated, and that continues to affect you even after its over.

No. 578208

So, my bf knows I have a fetish for being cucked. I feel overwhelming jealousy when he talks about other girls. I hate myself for it and now he wants me to find another girl to “force” me to watch. I’m extremely submissive and I get that it’s like the ultimate form of submission but ehhh. He isn’t pressuring me or anything I just sort of wish he never found out. And yes it does turn me on waterfall levels. I hate that jealousy is a turn on because it has the possibility of being super damaging. In the moment I’m sure seeing him fuck another girl would be super hot but I’m worried later I won’t be able to get out of my head all the things that she’s better at than me (looks/personality/in bed). In high school a lot of times I was the third wheel because I was kinda dorky, maybe that’s part of the reason? I also get really turned on if I hear people fucking (like neighbors) which reinforces the whole third wheel thing.

No. 578213

I’m pro-lgbt but I’m not completely buying it when it constantly emphasizes black trans women. Not saying it’s wrong but it’s like they don’t know trans men and non black trans women don’t exist. You know this rhetoric has been shat out of tumblr rhetoric. I just wished they don’t pretend that other minorities in America exists.

No. 578214

>>578213
You mean like trans men and black lesbians? Or how about other non-white lesbians? The L has always been the one fighting for rights, Storme started stonewall by throwing the first punch and getting the crowd to fight back. I recognize Sylvia Rivera as a trans woman but Martha was still a Gay Drag queen. Their efforts to help trasnsvestites are unheard of because they are instead credited for stonewall as women lol

No. 578222

>>578208
Coming from someone who experienced this, proceed with caution and make sure he knows. Sure seeing your boy fuck someone else is hot but when you start crying it isn't fun anymore.

No. 578235

I have a massive desire to be killed. I’m not really suicidal because I don’t want to kill myself, and I wouldn’t be capable of committing suicide, but I do want someone to kill me. I don’t know if it’s a fetish or the fact i’m just dramatic but I literally just want someone to end me, don’t care how.

No. 578238

>>578208
this convinced me it's not worth telling a man my fetishes, time to play dumb and act like I don't know shit kek

No. 578267

I'm a lesbian but I hate my own community. All of it, all the letters, they all do their own uniquely annoying things that I despise, regardless of political leanings, radfems, libfems, sjw's, whatever the fuck, I don't care, I have beef with all of them. Call it internalized homophobia or whatever but sometimes I wish I was just a stupid cishet wasp like my mom wants me to be. Fuck this gay earth.

No. 578268

>>578267
I relate so hard, I dont know if Im lesbian or bi but the lgbt community is soo toxic and miserable. I dont feel connected to it at all.. I just like girls and I dont want to be insane about it

No. 578273

>>574497
AT the very least, sell anything of value.

No. 578282

>>578267
Total same.

No. 578284

>>574064
I sleep a stuffed cat that I've had since I was a toddler. It's literally on my bed right now. I've never been super attatched to it, but it's always been with me, and I've kind of just held on to it. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I brought someone home with me, were I to even do that. What would they think?

No. 578290

I feel sick even writing this out because I know how fucked up it is, but I'm jealous of a girl who died in my town when we were both 13. At the time I remember it freaking me out that she had died so young, and it made me sad knowing she would never experience a multitude of things, but now I'm literally jealous. I wish I could trade and be the one that died at 13 and take her out of that situation. Nothing good has come out of life since then. She got to experience the best years of a person's life and left on a note where people loved her.

No. 578292

>>578290
How did she die? If it is okay to ask

No. 578293

File: 1593670201482.png (173.82 KB, 424x491, EbnIrFGUcAUAunf.png)

i've been on a femboy kick (strictly 2d lol) since…when. late last year?
i don't know why but i love 'em.

No. 578297

>>578290
I can relate to this somewhat. One day when I was 13-14 and I walking home from school I was ruminating about how worthless I was. I was bullied at school, couldn't connect with people in general and felt like I didn't belong anywhere. I could not imagine life getting any better in the future. When I got home I lied down on the floor and cried for hours.
I often think about that day and sometimes wish that I had ended it back then. This is probably not much of a consolation anon, just know that you are not alone with this.

No. 578298

Lately I've been doing fuck all at work because I'm so unmotivated with my shitty wage but I somehow never get caught and I'm praised for doing the bare minimum.
Bitch give me a good raise and I will show you what I'm capable of.

No. 578310

I’m killing my self before my 40s, or after I travel to every country I want to see whatever comes first. Outside traveling and seeing the world I don’t see a purpose to my life. I also want to spend my life alone, I really don’t see the appeal of a partner or family holding me back or getting hurt because of my actions.

No. 578323

>>578290
>>578297
As much as I fucking hate it I can't stop myself from wishing my parents didn't intervene and let me die of my ED when I was 14.

No. 578353

>>578310
So travel indefinitely, separate from your family as respectfully as you can and don't get a partner?
I know we're meant to respect people's choices but this makes no sense as a suicide plan. Normally people want to kill themselves because they're lonely and don't know what else to do or can't deal with the idea of being infirm but your forties are prime years for traveling, you can just keep hopping between transitory workaway positions and following the open road for at least another decade or until you find somewhere you like enough to stay.

If this is related to a fear of growing old then at least leave the suicidal ideation for when your body can't keep up with your lifestyle plans. You're not an old person in your forties but you'll be old enough to make sound choices that people respect, why throw away a good decade when you can instead just throw away society's expectations?

No. 578377

My boyfriend was a bit overwheight when we met, and has put on some extra weight since we’ve been together. He’s very tall but quite overweight now. I’ve seen pics of him when he was a skinny teenager and he was really, really attractive. I also worry about his health.
He’s expressed insecurity about it and a desire to lose weight, but he never follows up on it. I think it’s especially hard for him because I don’t put on weight no matter what. We’ve eaten essentially the same food in same quantities for over a year, I’m still thin and he put on 10kg. When he was decided on losing weight he wanted me to go to the gym/on a food plan with him but it’s impossible for me to find dedication to do that long term knowing I’m thin anyway.
I want him to lose weight but I don’t want to say anything because I don’t want to hurt him. I know how damaging it can be to have someone comment on your weight so I have always been reassuring to him which also might be part of the problem.
Sorry about the long rant but this has bothered me for some time now.

No. 578385

>>578377
just go on walks or hikes or something with him, anon. he can have the gym time to himself if he still chooses, and you don't have to go/pay for it/force motivation.

No. 578390

>>578377
>We’ve eaten essentially the same food in same quantities for over a year, I’m still thin and he put on 10kg.
This is impossible. He must be snacking behind your back. Well, either that, or you have a tapeworm.

No. 578590

Belle Delphine’s “im back” song gets stuck in my head so often. I know it’s a stupid song but I can’t help but want to listen to it lol

No. 578634

>>578590
You're not alone. Senzawa seems like they're having so much fun doing those clips too

No. 578640

i just wanna eat pussy and get my pussy ate, i hate covid

No. 578666

I fainted today despite being a unemployed college student and staying at my parents home. How?
>Stay up late daily to waste time, wake up late, 6-7 hours of sleep past week
>Didn't eat much for lunch today
>Went for half hour stroll in summer heat
>Came back and showered, was about to eat late dinner

I then felt slightly exhausted, and unable to articulate how I felt before lowering myself to the floor. I was extremely lightheaded and my vision was messed up; my parents slapped my face because I'd gone slackjawed. They gave me a banana and milk after which I slowly returned to normal.

I'm fairly sure I fainted due to low blood sugar from waiting to long to eat, and I feel awful for scaring my family. My parents were freaking out and only my older sister had the composure to call emergency services. I didn't go to the hospital and should be fine.

It really takes such drastic events for me to wake up and see how I live is so dumb. I've never fainted before and I'm so grateful I was with my parents. I avoid my family out of anxiety; their "communication style" includes lots of yelling. They don't mean to be aggressive but it stresses me out. I've wasted this summer so far rotting online and avoiding things I dream of, like being a better artist or learning to code. I don't know how long this clarity will last but I can't believe I put my mom through this.

No. 578681

>>578666
I'm sorry this happened to you anon. I think the shower probably was the final straw toward fainting because the heat of a shower can mess with your blood pressure and your body needs a lot of energy to regulate its temperature so it likely just couldn't handle so much with little fuel. Try to keep an eating schedule but don't be so hard on yourself, life is hard for everyone rn and taking care of yourself can feel like a huge feat. Set small goals but don't feel pressure to be super productive all the time

No. 578683

You know how people who are depressed say that they stay in bed all day and barely have the energy to move? I fucking wish. I'm depressed as hell and have no motivation, yet I still have the physical energy and desire to get up and do things. Except I don't WANT to do those things because I'm depressed and unhappy with my situation, so my energy turns into anger. My ass will start slamming doors because I have all this energy and nothing to do with it.

No. 578689

File: 1593751030559.png (188.94 KB, 657x425, hornybegone1.png)

damn i wish i could stop being horny

No. 578693

was worried about a round lump in my vag to the point of tears, turns out it's just my fucking cervix

i'm an idiot

No. 578706

>>578689
hard same

No. 578714

>>578590
honestly this is kind of validating because I've had the song it was a cover of (GOOBA) stuck in my head since it came out and I didn't wanna admit it bc fuck 6ix9ine.

No. 578718

File: 1593758144801.jpeg (133.39 KB, 1280x760, 1588698826012.jpeg)

I'm shut in. My social anxiety is so bad i can't go out, it's been 2 years. I'm so scared to stay immature or not grow because i miss the experiences.

No. 578749

>>578666
Omg Anon I'm so sorry. Something kind of similar happened to me like 2 months ago. I was sleeping horribly, not eating enough for several days, rotting depressed weeks into quarantine. I tried to walk a few blocks to get food one morning because I was fucking starving at that point, walked there and back in the heat, collapse with nausea and puke when I get home. Also spending the summer rotting online and avoiding things I need to do. Life sucks.

No. 578755

I sometimes wish I had something really bad happen to me in my childhood to get people to get off my back. My pain from childhood is never validated by anyone. I wasn't starved or abused, I wasn't severely bullied - I lost a sibling, heard my parents complain about money and never got nice things or went anywhere, was severely socially anxious and insecure which affected any opportunity to grow as a person or develop friendships and therefore affected the way I perceived the world around me. All these things made my childhood really hard and sad to think back on. I don't go around talking about my childhood or anything, but people will often ask why I'm such an introvert and pessimist, and I try to explain to them that it was kind of inevitable that I ended up this way, and they always make fun of me and claim I can't reference my childhood. They grew up around me, went to my house every once in a while, and therefore assume they know the in's and out's of my childhood and psychological shit I went through.

No. 578763

>>578718
i was like that for 7 years, then 2 years ago i slowly started going out again but now quarantine has me back in the deep dark hole so ill probably just finally kill myself this time

No. 578825

>>578718
I was like that from 12 to 19, no school, total shut in. Not gonna lie I'm 30 now and still fairly limited in what I can do but I live alone and can go out to shop, sit in a cafe, go to the post office or dentist etc. Being able to do even that essential shit feels good.

Take baby steps, celebrate the small accomplishments and don't beat yourself up over it.

No. 578834

>>578755
I am sorry you lost a sibling and I'm.sorry others can't recognise that as a big thing that shaped you and your childhood. The money worry talk is alone enough, it instills such anxiety in you from a surpringsingly young age, maybe you should seek out someone to talk about all this?

No. 578862

>>578755
Losing a sibling regardless of when that happened would fuck up pretty much anyone. My mother was a teenager when one of her big brother died and to this day she's clinically depressed over it and has no idea how to move on so she randomly brings it up sometimes. I think most normal people would easily sympathise with you for that alone if they knew. And talking about money non-stop in front of kids can be pretty anxiety-inducing too, speaking from personal experience.

No. 578896

>>578755
Anon, look into Childhood Emotional Neglect. Dr. Jonice Webb has a really good book about it that might help you.

No. 578897

I got tested for covid today but I think regardless of the results I'm just going to tell my family that I'm positive. My grandparents and Mom got it almost two weeks ago and my Grandpa is most likely going to pass away not from covid hes got another problem we hadn't known about til recently. And thinking of my Mom stuck watching her Dad die right in front of her by herself breaks my heart. I don't want her to suffer alone. Theyre Covid has been mild so I'm not so afraid of getting it, I'm afraid of my Mom doing something to herself though..
I just want to be there for my Mom when she is going through a major loss in her life.

No. 578924

>>578714
I actually didn't know it was a cover of a different song and just listed to gooba and it sounds mediocre in comparison lol. Maybe since I listened to i'm back first…

No. 578946

I don't feel bad when I see users here in bad/abusive relationships because I know they would drag me for being ugly/awkward/low value or whatever.

No. 578947

>>578897
You're…going to tell your family you're positive for COVID, even though you're not, so you can spend more time with them? Do you mean negative? I'm so confused by this post.

No. 578949

>>578946
If you expressed actual sympathy for them instead of shaming/blaming/being generally rude to them for being in a bad relationship, I really doubt they would say those things to you.

No. 578952

>>578946
I've been in an abusive relationship and the reason I stayed so long is i had no confidence, no self esteem, I already felt like an idiot and he made me feel like no other man on earth would want me. You probably could sit down with any abused woman and relate to those feelings

No. 578976

>>578952
I've had low self esteem but I've never been in a bad relationship. In fact, I rarely get asked out so it's not like anyone abusive has ever pursued me.

And plenty of people with low self esteem like to drag others for being ugly or what not. Not sure why I need to give them a pass for what.

>>578949
So I need to coddle them in order for them to treat me with basic respect? No thanks.

No. 578978

>>578946
>>578976
I mean this with no malice but you sound very naive, very young, or both. It's okay to not understand how abusive relationships work in the real world but I would try to have a bit more humility about it.

>I've had low self esteem but I've never been in a bad relationship. In fact, I rarely get asked out so it's not like anyone abusive has ever pursued me.

Congrats. You sound like the perfect target for someone emotionally abusive. Do you know how so many emotionally abusive relationships work and why people stay in them? It's not that they're just that much stupider than you. Vulnerable, ignored people with low self esteem are easy to reel in and lull into a false sense of security with love bombing, and then emotional abuse starts. I say this because I'm in such a relationship right now and one of the things that keeps me from leaving is that I have no idea if I could ever expect to find someone after this because I'm fucking worthless. If you can't have empathy for others at least acknowledge that there are many things you don't know or don't understand.

No. 578980

>>578978
I doubt you would have any empathy or understanding for my problems so why do I owe you so much? And your reasoning for being in a relationship does seem stupid, you're not really doing yourself a favor here. Not sure why not me being empathetic "enough" warrants you calling other people ugly either.

No. 578984

>>578976
>So I need to coddle them in order for them to treat me with basic respect? No thanks.

What in the actual fuck are you talking about? Offering support to someone going through a rough time isn't "coddling," it's basic human empathy. This is clearly a personal issue you developed after a negative interaction that you're now projecting upon an entire group of people.

I cannot comprehend how someone goes from "this person is in an abusive relationship" to "I don't feel bad for them because they're going to attack me for being ugly," otherwise. It does not follow any logical line of reasoning.

No. 578987

>>578984
I specifically said people on this board because people here tend to drag others for being ugly.

No. 578988

>>578984
Nta but I can see how it does. You treat others just like they treat you. If you know that someone will hate you/insult you if you ever meet, sympathy goes out of the window. It's not an insecurity thing btw because if you know their values and who you are you can tell if they're gonna hate you.

No. 578989

>>578976
Why are you talking about giving passes? All I said is you might relate with some similar feelings. Never mind though, you're too wrapped up in your own suffering like an incel.

No. 578994

>>578987
Half the posts I see on here are about anons feeling like the ugliest women on earth, so join the club anon. The site is full of 'ugly neets and loser shut ins'

No. 578997

>>578987
Right, but you keep equating this with being in an abusive relationship, which makes me think that you've actually had the experience of either sympathizing with someone who was in an abusive relationship and was treated with hostility and called ugly in response, or have said something rude and insensitive to someone in an abusive relationship, and had that person lash out and call you ugly in response.

If that's not the case, I'd think you'd come in here and confess not feeling bad for anyone on this board in general because you believe that most people on here drag others for being ugly.

No. 579004

>>578989
If I'm such an incel why do you need my pity so badly?

>>578997
Because the people here in abusive relationships demand a lot of pity.

>>578994
I don't thin I'm ugly but other anons wouldn't hesitate to nitpick me

No. 579005

>>578997
They think general rejection by society (not being asked out on enough dates boohoo) is the same as being singled out and abused by the very man whose meant to love you, they're just nuts, bitter. No sense to be made of that thought process.

No. 579006

>>579004
You're never going to be in a room full of us so why do you keep talking about the hypothetical situation of us nitpicking you? You're feeling sorry for yourself over an event that's purely in your head.

No. 579009

>>579005
It's just sad because this person sounds like the exact type of woman who is most vulnerable to finding herself in an abusive relationship. I hope she finds the light before such a thing happens to her.

No. 579017

>>578997
I think she just believes everyone on this site besides her is hot, lol.

No. 579023

>>579017
I see constant self hate posts on here, people who won't leave the house because they're convinced they're hideous. More anons nit pick their own appearance than anything else. Like girl we're all too busy hating ourselves to ever bully you lol

No. 579024

>>579023
>>579017
If people here are too busy hating themselves then why do they love to nitpick other people so much?

>>579005
Do you think I owe you pity because you're worse off than me?

>>579009
I don't get asked out enough to get in an abusive relationship

No. 579025

>>579004
You are deliberately being obtuse at this point. I've never seen anyone on this board in an abusive relationship "demand pity." People may vent about it in the vent thread on /ot/, or in the break-up threads on /g/, because that's literally what those threads are for.

You seem very self-involved and have made no effort to understand where anyone is coming from on this issue, instead choosing to focus on yourself and your own feelings. I think you're just jealous of anyone on this board who is getting attention for any reason, because that person isn't you.

No. 579026

>>579009
I hope she also realises that these hostile feelings that she's getting from anonymous people on a board are all in her head. The last thing any abused woman generally wants..is to abuse another woman. Also we'll never meet, a meet up of anons would be awkward as fuck. Autism, GAD, neets, depressed and lonely, virgins who can't make friends…those are the common themes on here IME, not stuck up modelesque bitches.

No. 579027

>>579025
If you're sooo much more understanding than me why does what I say bother you so much?

>>579026
Still doesn't explain the nitpicking and people with superiority complexes here. "Oh bloo bloo bloo, I love to drag other people for random things but it's ok because of my mental illness." And speak for yourself, there seem to be plenty of relatively normal people here who don't have mental illnesses dominating their lives.

No. 579028

>>579025
I've seen similar bullshit claims that 'ooh all the posts about CSA on here are for pity' That's just the nature of a board with anonymity, people vent their darkest secrets like domestic abuse and CSA. Funny thing is victims in both those circumstances often carry a lot of guilt and shame. They're not looking for pity, they're offloading because they can't do that anywhere else.

No. 579029

>>579026
I think she has maybe a bit of normie in her and doesn't quite grasp that nitpicking cows is not how users treat literally any other woman. Cows get picked apart because most of them are vain braggy attention whores, many of whom literally trade on and profit from their appearance. Someone who chooses to make themselves into a public figure exposes themselves to a certain level of justified scrutiny and I don't think I've ever seen an appearance related criticism that wasn't linked to someone's genuinely shitty cow behavior. Also don't really get why you'd browse this board if it causes you to clutch your pearls this much.

No. 579030

>>579024
>If people here are too busy hating themselves then why do they love to nitpick other people so much?
This is like the no. 1 trait of self-hating people. You're doing it too right now.

No. 579031

>>579029
I like a lot of the discussion on this board. I like drama in general but nitpicking appearance is my least favorite discussions even when that person is being a cow. And what's to stop other people from saying I'm a cow and deciding I'm fair game for that?

>>579030
I meant specifically nitpicking appearances, and I actually don't do that. I actually don't even nitpick my own appearance. I think I look average to good irl.

No. 579032

>>579031
But you're not a cow on this site, stop worrying about hypothetical situations that are not real hun

No. 579034

>>579031
nobody cares. fuck off with your autism already.

No. 579036

>>579034
This. The convo should've naturally died out several posts ago but someone's just that self obsessed.

No. 579037

>>579034
>>579036
You cared enough to reply.

>>579032
I'm not worrying about it.

No. 579041

I've always been squeamish about fingering myself, I see women talking about checking the height of their cervix and I could never imagine doing it. I'm not squeamish about sex in general or inserting toys but at one point I used a nuvaring and the feeling of my pubic bone is what really bothered me.

I've had a cervical cancer scare from precancerous cells so I'd like to be better at knowing what my own anatomy feels like to do the odd check for changes. I feel like a freak because as far as I know this isn't common, I don't feel comfortable asking anyone for advice either because fingering sounds sexual but I just want to know that I have to guts to retrieve a tampon with a broken string or check if anything ever feels off.

No. 579057

This is going to sound ultra autistic, but I think I've been falling for a guy, and I really don't know how to process it. Up to this point I've never been attracted to anybody and I was certain it would remain like that for my whole life. He is not even my type physically but we have a lot of common interests, and I've been having intrusive thoughts about being in a relationship with him. I am kinda angry at myself for that, I definitely don't want to build a future with another person, and this is making me doubt.

I may mistake attraction for appreciation though, as he is the only person with whom I can talk about my niche interests.

No. 579088

File: 1593821382912.jpg (11.03 KB, 348x394, 11216254_10202819981140787_283…)

>>578693
We can be dumb fucks together, anon. I stopped having sex for about half a year because I thought I had warts. Turns out it's just normal vaginal skin.

No. 579103

>>579088
>not going to the dr for half a year

No. 579119

>>579041
same, too squeamish to put a finger in my vagina even though I need to in order to figure out what menstrual cup size I need!

No. 579123

>>579057
Ride this till the wheels fall off. Nothing important to lose unless he's a murderer.

No. 579128

>>578947
So basically, my grandparents house is the Covid positive house and if anyone tests positive at my house wed already said wed go stay there since my Mom & Grandparents all have Covid. I am still in the grey area and was thinking of telling my family I'm positive so I can be with my Mom while her dad dies. I'm worried about her going through this alone, and I know it sounds dumb to basically give myself Covid but I want to make sure my Mom is taken care of in what is going to be a really hard upcoming chapter of her life.
My Grandpa dying really came out of left field for all of us and my Mom has always been more close to her dad than mom. I want to know she is going to be okay and taken care of.

No. 579132

>>579128

Anon, losing her daughter would only increase your mom's pain. I understand wanting to be there for her but please don't risk it by going to your grandparents' house.

No. 579188

I feel like there's something wrong with me and I don't know what it is. At one point I seriously thought I might be an extremely high functioning autist but none of the symptoms apply to me. I feel different from other people and I have always been stuck between being an introvert who doesn't desire social interaction that much, and also feeling left out and unliked by others. I really just want to be told I have something so that I can better understand myself, and more importantly, be kinder to myself.

No. 579205

>>577682
I still check the reddit accounts of people I used to be in an online friend group with and lost contact with ~3 years ago

No. 579212

>>579188
You're just different, and there's nothing wrong with being different. Why do you need to pathologize it to be kinder to yourself? You're not bad for not being like others.
And I understand many people won't like you, but there are those like me who really appreciate weirdos. There will always be a place for you.

No. 579261

I find myself attracted to Sora The Troll.

No. 579282

Alternative people like goths, punks etc. are some of the shittiest and most obnoxious people on the planet. I really like the aesthetics and fashion but I really don't wanna be lumped in with them and I do my best to avoid them. How the fuck can you claim to be non-conformist when it's so obvious you're trying to pretend to be some edgelord like every other altfag that got the shit kicked outta them in school?

No. 579535

I've gone from pimple popping vids to being my guilty pleasure to tonsil stone popping. Even though it makes me gag I can't look away.

No. 579536

File: 1593916224880.jpg (7.27 KB, 480x360, yes.jpg)


No. 579558

When I was 21, I was in a year long relationship with a guy who ended up raping me twice. He coerced me into sort of BDSM dynamic, but it was mostly just him sexually torturing me. He refused to have a safe word and would threaten to break-up with me if I said no to anything he wanted me to do. He forced depraved acts on me constantly. I had to send him videos/picture sets of me doing whatever gross/painful thing he wanted. There was evidence later on in the relationship that he was pretending to be me and selling the photosets and videos to guys on 4chan. Once, he made an entire tumblr of graphic photos of me that was password protected, gave me the password, and basically threatened to go public with it. He did all of this for no other reason other than sadism. He hated women and literally just liked seeing me get upset. I had virtually no self-esteem at the time and was at probably one of the lowest points of my life, so I still put up with it.

I'm in a much better place now, but I still blame myself for all of this and am rarely able to enjoy sex. It's like I'm just numb down there. I have a bunch of problems with chronic pain now, too. I feel like I'm never going to be able to be fully normal again.

No. 579606

>>579558
I'm sorry this happened to you. Would you like some help with having the photos and videos taken down?

No. 579616

File: 1593936754091.png (411.72 KB, 331x565, Screenshot_2020-07-05 e2d jpg …)

I have a decent opportunity to have a good life but the only thing I'm interested in and have any drive for is drugs.

No. 579623

i'm sort of waiting for this former online friend of mine to kill themself.
they have so many issues that they're untreatable. i wish i was exaggerating but whenever people would try and give them advice, they had too may issues to go through with them (financial, physical, emotional, etc). ffs they can't even practice their hobbies without feeling like dog shit and giving up for 6 months.
they're doomed and i genuinely think their only option is to off themself before their parents die of an OD/their emotional support dog dies of old age/etc. it feels terrible to say it but it'd take a god damn miracle for them to live normally.

No. 579625

>>579623
I think this is how [name here] feels about me even though they never told me.

No. 579635

I like watching college vloggers vlog themselves going to class and studying and hanging out with friends because they make it look so glamorous and fun, when that wasn't my experience at all lol. My uni experience was so depressing.

No. 579665

>>579635
Fr, they make it seem so fun, while in reality it's all a blur of sleepless nights and stress.

No. 579687

I spend all my free time lying around wishing I could do my teens better and not get so set into this behavioural baseline of depression I currently exist in.

No. 579696

>>579606
Thank you, but I did manage to get him to delete the website. If anything else is up, I wouldn't know unless someone recognized me and told me.

No. 579697

>>579623
Why are their issues untreatable? I used to know someone similar, but they were actually offered opportunities regularly to improve their life, and they just shut all of them down in favor of continuing to drink themselves near death in their shitty town. I stopped feeling sorry for them after awhile tbh.

No. 579705

>>579687
Well I already know what you'll be doing in ten year's time - wishing you could do these current years of your life better instead of getting set in a behavioural baseline of regret, self-pity and inaction you will keep existing in.

The past is never an excuse for present actions (or inaction). Life passes quickly by and then you die, there's no time to pout and stomp your foot about things that didn't go your way. Just accept them and move on.

No. 579718

>>579697
oh man. it's like,
>tons of childhood trauma stemming from their parents
>extended family is just a matter of who's "less bad"
>gay
>mentally ill (extreme ocd, depression, anxiety, ptsd) + hypochondriac & autistic
>extremely poor (moved to a very old house, can't afford to pay bills a lot of the time)
>living in the deep south in a shitty tiny town
>bad physical health (obesity, really fucked up teeth despite having spent thousands of dollars on the weirdest braces i've seen, scoliosis, skin stuff, bad eyesight)
>teenage trauma with online groomers combined with childhood trauma = distrusts everyone they meet even now…

god knows they've tried but all their therapists have been "u need 2 pray the demons away" bible thumping idiots because deep south.

they have one thing going for them is that they're academically successful despite the poverty…but even that was fueled entirely by intense anxiety and fear.

the only thing keeping them going is the fact that their addict parents can't/don't want to take care of the animals on their own, and that they're afraid of divine retribution if they an hero'd.

No. 579721

>>579718
That's a lot, but it's not untreatable. If they (is it a tranny? lmao) could even just focus on improving in one of those areas, like their weight, it's a step in the right direction and typically inspires motivation for more positive change.

This person's health is definitely something they have control over. Being academically successful is also going to help them out a lot in the long run.

I really hope it's not clear to this person that you have so little faith in them, because that's going to be a huge detriment to their journey.

No. 579723

>>579721
i'm making it more clear: we are no friends anymore. we were very very close until they cut me off because i was becoming a normal person with friends (less internet, new friends i could see irl) + drank alcohol on the weekends (they have a phobia of alcohol and me simply mentioning alcohol a couple of times on twitter made them randomly ask me, obviously uncomfortable, if i was drunk at 11am in class. lmao.) cut me off because i simply said, during our one argument, that they had been difficult to deal with for a couple of months. they have terribly black and white thinking and have cut off many people like this. some deserved, some not so much. they also block everyone and anyone.

they (born female) went from "no gender" to "i'm basically a woman but can't admit it to myself" lol. given all their mental illnesses it's no wonder.

they have intense guilt over eating every day and will starve, then binge, then starve again, or eat the weirdest food at random times (an onion…). also poverty and narcissist mom won't let them into the kitchen. i think they also have arthritis.

they're academically successful in a field that isn't so popular though, so idk how much they can get out of the hole in the deep south before potentially burning out.

but deep down i wish they'd succeed. it would be impressive if they did.

No. 579731

>>579718
Sounds like her problems would disappear exponentially if she could move away from her southern shitpit town, receive some proper medical and dental care, and remove herself from her toxic family situation. However all that is very hard to overcome even when a person is normal and successful, unfortunately "it takes a village" and the deck is stacked against her.
She's not irredeemable, it just sounds like she has limited opportunities due to her financial and living status. As a result she has a self-perpetuated victim mentality and also gets jealous easily of anyone she sees escaping bad circumstances that she's still stuck to deal with on the daily.
Bet her weird binging and restricting habits with food stem from the fact that it's one of the few aspects she feels she has control over in her life.

No. 579733

>>579731
you say "not irredeemable" like she's still some degree of evil or something

No. 579737

>>579623
I feel for this online friend.

No. 579739

>>579731
it's funny because their friends had to tell them their shit life was not normal and for a long time they didn't want to admit that their parents were crazy, that their living situation was terrible and that their poor mental health isn't just "how it be".
i feel like they were jealous because they felt left out. i was having fun irl with new friends while they wouldn't get as many messages from me anymore.

the restricting was more in lines with forgetting to eat from fucked up sleep schedules. speaking of which, they'd also go between staying up for 2 days straight and sleeping 12 hours. they had terrible nightmares that made them afraid of sleeping.

No. 579747

>>579723
That's fair. It's hard to be supportive of someone who is actively pushing you away or acting toxic like this, even if you still empathize with their situation. There's only so much you can do for people that don't want to accept help. Thanks for clarifying, and I'm sorry for the accusatory tone of my previous post.

No. 579773

>>579739
I think it's normal for someone who's in such a fucked up situation to be jealous. And it's really inconsiderate to do the "lol jelly" thing here.

No. 579797

I fucking hate reading. It's so boring and such a chore. And I never absorb any of the shit I'm reading anyway and I have to re-read paragraphs over and over.

No. 579802

>>579797
same. i only absorb info in small spurts like a retard. i need to feel rewarded in order to fully read something

No. 579870

I'm a 28 year old black woman and I still wear cutesy clothes like lolita and liz lisa when I'm alone in my bed room. I get drunk and dressed up and listen to idol music.

No. 579876

>>579870
I love you anon

No. 579879

>>579870
keep being kawaii anon, go where you are celebrated

No. 579880

>>579870
Queen shit

No. 579884

>>579870
Live your best life queen

No. 579887

>>579733
Because OP said her life is "doomed" and it's better that her suicide attempts be successful. Her life is redeemable from this so-called hopelessness and doom.

>>579739
You don't have to be her friend or anything but try to have some empathy. People can't help the environment they're born into.

No. 579889

>>579870
Coward

No. 579902

>>579889
lol why critique a wholesome confession in a confession thread

No. 579903

>>579902
How is that a critique anon

No. 579909

File: 1594000461779.jpeg (36.86 KB, 225x225, 8124AA70-3E8A-481C-833C-996C65…)

I like to eat a bunch of pic related and smoke a cigarette afterwards. It tastes like roast chicken.
Yes, I’m white trash.

No. 579923

I think people who need religion in their life are stupid. I pity people who worry about that sort of thing. I'm surprised so many people are still religious nowadays.

No. 579926

>>579923
Define "need"? Religion has saved my life in a lot of ways but with that being said I am not a religious person and don't need it to be a good person or have opinions on things.

No. 579930

>>579909
Cigs make me nauseous but I still have one occasionally for the taste. It's very soothing and having my hair smell like smoke reminds me of college all nighters when the cig break was king. You are valid anon

No. 579931

I'm scared to have a wedding because weddings in my culture contain at least 500 people and I don't have any friends and barely any family and I know everyone there is just going to be judging me for the size of my wedding the whole time and I'm sensitive asf to other people's opinions of me.

That's my other confession, I care so fucking much about what others think.

No. 579935

>>579926
Needing it to be a good, moral person for the most part. I hear a lot of people just say they "need" it, but I'm not sure what reasoning each individual has. Maybe it's to not do drugs, or to feel security after death or in troubling times. I just find it dumb that they need to depend on a God, instead of taking responsibility for themselves.

No. 579947

>>579931
do a destination wedding if you can, only people you care about can come then

No. 579982

>>579870
fuck yeah anon, i might do the same tonight. I know I'll be getting shitfaced at least.
time to dig out the bodyline like the trash I am

No. 579993

I just scooped a bug out of my day old reheated coffee and I am still going to drink it.

No. 579996

>>579931
Man, anon, idk if you're getting married soon, but if you are let go of everyone else's opinion right now. A wedding is YOUR day. No one has a right to tell you how they think YOUR wedding should be. Even if they're helping pay for it. And if someone thinks they can tell you what to do because they're paying for it, they're only "helping" to be in control.

You can have the most gaudy, trashy, ugly, horrendous dress, decorations, cake etc… but no one can or should say a damn thing, cause it's your wedding.

Besides, if you can't be comfortable at your own wedding, then whats even the point.

>>579993
What kind of bug was it? If it was like a cockroach or something please just make a new cup. You're already drinking old coffee.

No. 580001

I'm super bitter that all the people who are furloughed are getting their regular paycheck plus $600 a week when they still have their benefits/insurance and are basically getting a vacation. Those of us who still have to work even despite dealing with everything going on aren't getting anything extra, and to all the people saying that they couldn't pay for things without the extra $600, how were they paying their bills before? I understand people who were laid off and probably will have trouble finding something new in this economic climate getting some extra, but the ones who will get their job back as soon as things open up? Why should they get extra pay for their already paid vacation? And if it's extended, no one is going to try to find new jobs when they can keep getting extra money.

No. 580016

File: 1594021626893.png (126.8 KB, 517x564, 015_06a891c8_540.png)

>>579870
Hell yeah
I'm gonna do the same.

No. 580036

Sometimes when I read online about guys online venting (NOT INCELS. FUCK NO, NOT BITCHING INCELS) about how they are struggling to find a partner and or have never been kissed, I have the desire to kiss them or talk to them. Then I remember I have no idea what they look like or why they're struggling to find someone who likes them and then I'm brought back to reality. But still, there are people out there who just haven't found someone who don't want to resort to desperate dating apps.

No. 580065

>>580036
How are dating apps desperate? Doesn't it depend on how you use them?

No. 580075

i have begun to develop a retarded obsession with the band kiss after watching detroit rock city again

No. 580094

>>580036
What isn’t desperate though? Bars? Getting set up on a blind date? You can at least semi-vet someone online

No. 580098

>>580075
I love KISS. Like, love them, they’re the ultimate party music imo and I think their personas/image is so fun. I got to see them last year on the end of the road tour with my dad and I’ve never had more fun at a boomer concert !!

No. 580100

>>580098
Nta but I love boomer concerts as well, the guys have nothing to prove anymore and do basically whatever they want. I saw Killing Joke during their 40th anniversary tour, it was one of the best concerts of my life and I was one of the youngest person in the crowd lol.

No. 580104

I got in a fight with my bf and ran to my parents with my son. I am considering going back now because I fell asleep while breastfeeding my son and I’m gonna fucking throw up there was a dead roach under my pillow.. like omfg was it after a spot of leaked milk? I am so violated literally fuck all of this. I’m so grossed out this is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me

No. 580106

>>580104
It's just a bug. Get over it.

No. 580107

>>580036
Guys whinging online about how they have never been kissed and can't get dates is less desperate in your mind than signing up on a dating app? Lmao.
By the way, guys are manipulating you and it's working.

No. 580110

>>580106
>roach
>just a bug
Where tf do you live where roaches are just silly little bugs? These are some awful ass nasty creatures

No. 580113

>>580104
I'm less concerned about the bug (though yeah gross) and more worried that you have a baby, you're breastfeeding and looking after the baby but it's YOU that needs to leave the house after a fight? That sounds like a really unhealthy set up to be trying to raise a kid in.

No. 580117

>>580104
You sound so trashy lmao.

No. 580118

>>580110
A place where seeing them outside in the summer heat is common so one occasionally slipping into the house isn't unheard of. Seriously, it's just a bug and they're even less scary when they're dead and not flying all over the place.

No. 580209

Sometimes I really can't wait to break up with my girlfriend. We have fun together and I like spending time with her irl, but when we're apart it's so fucking annoying. She's SO dependent on me it's crazy. She cried cause we couldn't hang out this weekend, we've been dating for only a month.. what the hell?
Her dad knows very well she's too much too, I feel like he feels my pain without speaking it out loud lmao.
Again, I like this girl, I have fun with her. But during the week when we don't see each other she just cries and is sad cause "she misses me so much" hello?? I'm not dead, we will see each other in literally 6 days.. and it's not even cute I miss you's. No. It's desperate depressing ones that make me wanna kms.
I don't want to be anyone's therapist tbh, I'm done with that part of my life.. I guess I'll ride this bike for awhile and then break things off saying it's all my fault or some shit.
This relationship just reinforced the idea in my head that I should be dating someone older and more mature than me, not a 21 year old. Smh.

No. 580210

>>580209
why don't you just break up with her now anon she sounds super fucking annoying

No. 580211

>>580209
>I guess I'll ride this bike for awhile and then break things off saying it's all my fault or some shit.

If you're already sure you're going to break things off with her you should make it a clean break soon. It's not fair towards her to string her along for a while longer. You also owe her a honest explanation, give her a chance to understand and grow instead of leaving her in the dark on why you left/are going to leave.

No. 580213

>>580210
Ehh, we have some trips planned, plus I don't mind the orgasms. And as I said, I do like spending time with her irl. All my doubts are gone as soon as she is next to me. But when she is not, it's crazy annoying.
>>580211
I guess you're right. Thank god you're calling me out. When I do break up with her, I'll explain her why.. that she was too much.
But again, when I see her and I'm with her, I don't want to break up at all. Which is why I don't want to do it too soon.
Plus, I hope she'll change a bit.. I'm slowly trying to confront her about some of her attachment issues, the problem is that if I do say something, she feels as if its a personal attack. Her dad tells her that stuff too so I'm not alone in this.

No. 580220

I think Belle Delphine is adorable to look at, I never got into why she was a cow or read anything regarding her so my opinion is fully based on her appearance, but she is so fucking cute to me. Despite editing or snow filters or whatever, anything she does looks downright adorable as fuck. My self esteem rests at a perfect 0 when I look at her do anything, and seeing her workout room made it all make sense to me. Perhaps if I was health-driven I'd feel better about myself. She has it made, and my envy is insurmountable

No. 580226

>>580209
>>580213
Break up with her, you both clearly have different expectations of the relationship and you're starting to sound like a fuckboy. If you like her, at least be honest to her and end ot now instead of making the heartbreak even worse after you just spent trips together.

No. 580234

>>580220
I think she's cute too, but i'm not going to let her off the hook for selling nudes of other girls when she was underage.

No. 580237

>>580234
See I had no idea that shit happened, wow. Gonna binge her thread now! It's a shame. If she were a nice, respectful person she'd be so admirable

No. 580244

>>580209
She sounds like a mutual I know. She's so bad, I've wanted to post her in the personal cow thread for a while.
Imagine the attachment issues, but with a guy in jail for murdering an ex.

No. 580249

I've never had "casual sex" with someone or had a fuck-buddy or friends-with-benefits, so when people talk about these things as if they're normal or expected makes me check my own behaviours and feel weird. I could never feel comfortable enough to have sex with someone if I didn't think they emotionally and mentally cared for me, too. I envy a lot of you who can treat it like it's just a fun sport or something, and don't get hung up on anything afterwards. It's so opposite to how I think that it's hard to wrap my head around. I never judge people, only envy them and their experiences. Unless my marriage falls through, I'll die never having experienced that sort of thing. You go, ladies! I love to read so many differing experiences on here. I love you all and just wanted to say it, too.

No. 580254

>>580036
You have savior fetish
>>580249
Anon you really shouldn’t envy us. There is literally nothing wrong with wanting emotional connection. Love filled sex is amazing. Don’t FOMO yourself into thinking you want to do it just because people gas it up to be a fun thing; it’s mundane af and frequently disappointing. Vacation in a far away land is a ‘must‘ experience worth envying. Having mediocre/bad sex with a scrote who doesn’t love you is not.

No. 580264

>>580249
Women in fwb/casual relationships are rarely enjoying it. Its usually just men taking advantage of young women with low self esteem and the girl doesnt even get to cum. Casual/Fwb relationships only benefits the woman if the dude is paying her.

No. 580266

>>580249
It's not as cool as people make it out to be; in my experience the best thing to come out of them are the stories. Sexual incompatibility is so rampant because you're just looking for dick and it's more often than not awkward as hell cause you don't know what the other person likes yet. Also, the fear of STDs is very real.

No. 580271

>>580249
I had fuck buddies in my early twenties and have good memories connected to a couple of them in particular but now in my early thirties I couldn't get into doing that again. I think it's one of those things people want to try out/get out of their system while still youngish. Looking back lots of casual sex I had was lacking, took a lot of trial and error just to find two good lovers.

No. 580280

>>580249
I feel similar to you, and I agree with the other anons and don't have much to add but, my 60 year old mother told me last week that she regrets being so boy crazy and making men/sex such a big priority in her life before she met my dad. Not like in terms of hardcore regret but just that she can see now how she could have used that energy in other ways. Just felt like that wisdom is worth sharing. There's nothing wrong with casual sex but it is objectively overrated for both sexes.

No. 580352

>>580345
I'm one of the anons crushing on Joji. With the amount of women randomly attracted to him and unable to explain the attraction it could very well be his eyes that are so appealing. I never crush on men but I have a folder saved of just Jojis face lol

No. 580365

>>580264
this, it's just conditioning and bored desperate people 99% of the time. letting random/non closely examined men inside you is the dumbest shit especially in 2020

No. 580381

My eating disorder makes me feel so clean and pure

No. 580391

File: 1594079654733.jpg (6.1 KB, 194x259, images (1).jpg)

I have awful hyperpigmentation and it's so embarrassing. I'm black too, so it's super noticeable. I want to try an acid peel or microrolling, but I'm scared I'll fuck up my face. My only options are vitamin c and exfiolating at this point.

I literally can't stop picking at my skin. I literally have scabs on my face from picking my blackheads/pimples. I've been doing better at holding off on it, but I'm worried that I'm gonna end up getting a really bad infection at some point. It's just so addictive.

>>580352
Joji is kinda ugly-cute in a way. He looks different in every photo, but I think he was cutest before he became mainstream, pic related. His eyes are really nice too. They just have a really kind and sweet look to them. Like a puppy.

No. 580396

>573802

lol found the pickme femcel

No. 580402

>>580391
Having my nails really short stops me from picking.

No. 580420

My parents are first cousins and so are my father's parents. I don't have fins or a third eye but I have really bad anxiety and depression, both of which run in my father and mother's side.

I love how predetermined my life and well being was!!!!!!!!!!!!

No. 580423

File: 1594083430445.jpg (95.33 KB, 1125x1256, giol19e7wut21.jpg)

>>580352
I love him but totally get why people wouldn't. I also think he's kind of an asshole which makes him all the more appealing to my mentally disadvantaged brain. Pretty sure he has epilepsy and takes medication for it which explains why he sometimes looks really bad

No. 580426

>>580420
Oof, sorry anon. I understand how you feel, though. My parents aren't related at all but they do have a large age gap and my father was in his late forties when I was born, and I have every textbook symptom of high functioning autism (no official diagnosis yet, but if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck…) and I'm convinced it's because of my father's age. Maybe I could've been well adjusted and normal but alas…

No. 580453

>>580426
Fuck, my mom was 18 and my dad was 47 maybe that explains me lmao

My dad died when I was young so my memories of him aren't really focused on his age so it's something I tend to forget. Man that age gap was fucked up.

No. 580469

I’m completely disappointed with the wedding I had, but don’t think I could ever express it without hurting feelings. I’m living overseas so my few closest friends couldn’t come, and I ended up inviting a bunch of acquaintances in order to not look like a complete loser. While they’re all nice people, I basically ended up paying a ton of money for each of them to attend and most of them couldn’t even follow this country’s basic wedding manners (which I got nagged at by my MIL later about). My husband has a small friend group too, so the majority of attendees ended up being my FILs business colleagues.

Without blogging too hard about everything being essentially pre-chosen (the norm for here, DIY anything is super rare and just not available in the major cities) I would’ve been content with this shitshow event if our photos at least came out nice.

There were maybe 2 out of almost 1000 where I didn’t have an uncomfortable grimace, was bizarrely over exposed, or showed how shitty my eyeliner was done by the makeup artist. I didn’t even get any shots of just my dress because the whole event was so structured and full of outfit changes there literally wasn’t time. I don’t think I even tasted any of the food aside from some cake for the sake of a photo. I’m still nauseas when I think about how I got nothing but stress and ugly photos from the entire situation and it still cost over $25,000 usd.

Farmers, don’t have a wedding. Just pay some instagram photographer to take nice pictures and fake a wedding instead. I should’ve known better lol.

>>579931
Just saw this after typing up all of the above. Please, for the love of god just trash the wedding if you don’t want to do it. It WILL show on your face that you hate it and you’ll be constantly trying to convince yourself afterwards that some things were “nice” to justify the effort and money you dumped into this stupid thing.

The memory of what we did is so tainted in my mind that I’m actually considering spending more money in the future to have another “wedding” in the future with just me and my husband and a couple of friends hanging out and eating good food while I wear a wedding dress in the woods or something lol.

Dealing with your family’s nagging about doing things “properly” is 100x better than regretting giving into them.

No. 580471

I use to wear saggy jeans when I was in the 5th grade,I was one trashy tomboy.

No. 580474

>>580471
You're not alone, anon, lmao.

No. 580478

>>580469
>hanging out and eating good food while I wear a wedding dress in the woods or something lol.

Excuse me while I steal your cuteass idea, anon. A few years ago I spent almost a year planning a budget wedding which I know would've ended with thousands of monies sunk anyway and me being bothered by my relatives, only to have him break up with me hahaa… Just over the whole wedding thing. But I want to be cute in white and have all the attention someday dammit.

No. 580491

I used to like shotacon shit, I know it’s gross, I honestly feel disgusted when I think about it.

I mostly read manga so I never went deep into the rabbit hole like most people, but it’s still really horrifying how being exposed to the internet ever since I was a kid managed to fuck me up.

I’m glad I’ve developed taste over the years and never really saved any of that shit in general, even when I was a kid I knew it was gross to save stuff like that in my computer.

I really hope I can have a normal life after getting some therapy, perhaps, I need to finally have some closure because even if I was young, it was wrong.

No. 580497

>>580491
I remember there used to be straight up graphic shotacon hentai manga/doujinshi uploaded to youtube in slideshow format back in the day. The culture around this content is so fucked in japan that I doubt it will ever change, but I think other countries where this isn't normalized yet should crack down harder than they are.

No. 580512

I posted a tweet from someone I know irl to a website because it was cringey as hell. Fast forward like a month later and I am seeing memes about it while not even looking. I didn't mean for this to happen but at the same time meh they have made my life hell at times.

No. 580518

>>580512
maybe I'm a bad person but having some good cringe/milk/found content that I shared take off like that is my absolute dream

No. 580519

I haven't masturbated for 2 days now and I'm really happy about it. I feel like I can think clearer and I'm not wasting upwards of an hour on it. I'm just scared I'll relapse soon because the urge usually gets stronger with time to the point where I have to masturbate just to go about my day and not think about sex 24 7.

No. 580538

The feeling of peach fuzz makes me actually cringe and I can barely stand the feeling of it against my teeth. Whenever I touch it I can just feel my teeth scraping against it. Just thinking about it makes me want to punch this stupid ugly peach into a pulp.

No. 580540

>>580491
Well here's my related confession: I still like shotacon and to be honest women liking shota is never as immoral as men liking loli. Men commit like 99% of all sexual abuse cases against children, male or female, so there's a much bigger chance that a moid reading loli/shota wants to actually diddle kids than a woman reading shota. As a mandatory side note I hate irl kids and find them repulsive.

No. 580543

>>580540
Y'all sure are confident on this website

No. 580559

File: 1594111647260.png (220.99 KB, 526x573, cc5d78ad618a4abb9a36a096fe408a…)

>>580491
>>580497
>>580540
…Why hate yourself over that so much? Maybe this could serve as a message that trying to judge people for what they're attracted to is a moot point. I can't imagine calling myself gross, disgusting, fucked up, or suggesting that I should receive therapy as a full-grown adult because I looked at drawings on the internet when I was a child.

No. 580560

>>580543
>Oh no, someone on an anonymous imageboard might think I'm a pervert for liking degenerate comics and yell insults at me!
I think I'll manage.

No. 580562

I love writing texts and emails for people to send to their bosses, professors, friends, when they are either arguing or trying to address something difficult or serious. Writing is the one thing I'm good at especially when emotion or persuasion is involved.

No. 580563

>>580538
I share your hatred for peaches. It's summer now and my boyfriend keeps buying peaches and encouraging me to eat them because they're soooooo fresh and juicy. Blegh.

I also hate watermelon.

No. 580566

>>580560
>Yelling insults
>Calling you a pervert
Literally all I said was you are confident for posting that. You're delusional, must be why you rationalize flicking it to drawings of kids lmao

No. 580568

I'm a personality catfish. Over the internet people find me to be really funny and friendly and smart. But the second they meet me in person it's crickets. I don't know why I can't be me with people face to face. It's like my brain stops me from communicating out of fear of rejection despite the fact the other person clearly likes me.

No. 580569

File: 1594112571957.png (94.23 KB, 196x194, 1.PNG)

>>580566
>"i'm not calling you (this)"
>proceeds to call her (this)

No. 580571

>>580569
If the shoe fits!

No. 580573

>>580562
You sound like me anon

No. 580576

I've regained 40 pounds in the past 6 months and haven't told my boyfriend. As we haven't saw each other cuz Covid and LDR. I'm sad as I kept it off for like 2 years and will probably lose it slowly again.

No. 580577

I love making fun of my friends but the second they make fun of me I go home and cry about it kek. I'm too depressed to take what I dish out I guess. When I make fun of them it's exaggerated and lighthearted and with love, but when they say it to me my brain convinces me they think I'm a loser.

No. 580579

File: 1594114165191.jpg (28.45 KB, 598x446, EUEIMxAWsAASJUH.jpg)

>>573699
ik that feel anon :< lost 60 lbs, then gained 40 back in the last few months. i wanna cry bc everyday i hate my body

No. 580588

File: 1594116825882.jpg (6.74 KB, 320x265, download (4).jpg)

>>580538
>>580563
Have you tried nectarines? They're basically a peach with smooth skin.

No. 580619

>>580588
Or they can just skin a peach before eating it…

No. 580698

>>580619
> skin a peach
what is this psychotic buffalo bill shit

No. 580702

>>580698
Haha oh fuck, I meant peel a peach. Whoops. ESL and all that

No. 580738

I reject people I love after a few dates because I have no idea how to react. I'm afraid of letting someone enter my intimate bubble because I feel they would stop loving me. I'm so emotionally immature and it's killing me.

No. 580775

>>580538
>>580563
til people don't just slice peaches like an apple and avoid the skins

No. 580812

I'm an ana-chan with severe BDD but I took some body checks today and it hit me how malnourished I am and I'm genuinely disgusted and disturbed my body. I feel like my whole world is coming down around me.

No. 580817

i wish Usagi Kou thread was more active, feels real good to compare myself to her as we're the same age and i used to be into cosplay too. sad cope i know.

>>580812
it's really hard to get a stark realisation like you did with a disorder like yours anon. i root for you! i hope you'll find the happy, long medium between having everything revolve around your body and your looks and controlling them and being an unhealthy slob. come enjoy eating good nourishing food and moving around in ways that are fun to you.

No. 580875

Not a confession, I just love that among these deep confessions there's the occasional hot take on fuzzy fruit. I love you all.

No. 580881

>>580538
there's a reason we invented nectarines.

No. 581033

File: 1594184341844.jpg (50.31 KB, 710x703, 99qtey9yao751.jpg)

I've been contemplating infidelity in my relationship for some time now. I never thought I'd be the type to do that, i think cheating is disgusting, but he's physically abused me and basically ignores me 99% of the time that he's not being a simpering loser to the extent where my socialization stems exclusively from my group of friends. I want somebody to want me, but I don't have the guts to leave. Sucks.

No. 581036

>>581033
okay this might seem ignorant to ask, but what about him makes you stay? what is so hard to leave?

No. 581044

File: 1594185487875.jpg (82.86 KB, 728x902, 1592340826455.jpg)

>>581036
Love, unfortunately
Men say they're never loved unconditionally and I wish that was true, if I was less soft hearted I'd have bounced years ago. We don't talk much, but I nurture him a lot and I think he'd do some severely dumb shit if I left.
I'm only rarted in this very particular department i swear

No. 581045

>>581044
women who think they love their SOs unconditionally need to be in therapy.

No. 581046

>>581044
Leave him, anon. It's really what's best for both of you. I bet he's even waiting for you to break up with him because he's too chickenshit to do it himself.

No. 581047

File: 1594185973702.jpg (35.19 KB, 611x601, kdavp9tlwrx41.jpg)

>>581045
Entirely agreed, I've known I should have broken up with this clown for a cool couple of years. Also technically been in therapy too. Self awareness really isn't enough, we are both clowns.
>>581046
Hopefully quar 2.0 hypes me up enough to pull the trigger just as well as you two ladies do. I'll figure something out- it's just nice to have someone else tell you what's what sometimes. Thank you!

No. 581068

I don't see a future with my boyfriend. The next logical step in our relationship would be to move in together, but when I look at my friends relationships or even my own relationship I realize; I could never play trasy dating sims again, I could never play choice heavy video games, never read dumb romance novels, I would have to suffer through my bf hosting all his dumbass friend at our place. And yesterday when I was exhausted I realized "Thank fuck I don't have anyone who would constantly babble about their day when all I want to do is take a long hot shower and go to sleep". When I told this to my friends they told me "Just get an apartment with a room for all your hobbies". They suggested I get myself a goddamn mancave.

Though this isn't just about having my own space. If I try to imagine myself ten years into the future I see myself living alone in a nice home with a dog and a cat, maybe dating some woman who is as independent as I am.

No. 581078

REALLY REALLY fucking glad I broke up with my ex (even if i did cry about it later and shit like that).

He was really fucking annoying me and I never really was in love with him if that makes sense. I guess I was looking for experience to put it in words since I've never really experienced a relationship all my life in Junior Highschool. After all of that mess i feel like not dating ever again not until i get a job or something

No. 581081

>>581068
Wait, why do you think you wouldn't be able to do all these things if you moved in with each other?

No. 581085

>>581068
Contrary to what society is telling you, you don't need to live with your partner unless you have a family with kids of course. I lived with my past partners and it sucked, i've been dating my bf for 3 years now, we both got our own places, no intention to live together long term ever and it's perfect. We see each other every weekend (it was every day before covid because we work in the same office), so it's not like we dont like each other company, we just know well enough we prefer to be independent.
You can totally take this route too anon, if it works for both you and your bf.

No. 581094

Barenaked Ladies have some genuinely good songs. Old Apartment and Tonight is the Night I Fell Asleep at the Wheel come to mind. Sucks that Steven Page had to quit!

*I am old and this is my confession

No. 581098

File: 1594202439132.jpg (17.44 KB, 259x259, Ea-AhFtXgAMWzYJ.jpg)

ok this is absolutely disgusting
> be me 2 years ago
> in LDR
> notice my vagina is super itchy everyday, think nothing of it
> notice white cream when wiping after i pee but think i'm ovulating
> bf and i get on video call and start being horny
> finger myself and lick my fingers on call for him
> google why i'm itchy and notice i have a yeast infection

so yeah. i cringe every time i hear talk of yeast infections. can't believe i saw the lumps and still put my fingers in my mouth. i thought you could only get a yeast infection from someone else or not being clean. turns out i was wearing terrible underwear.

No. 581107

>>581098
Don't sweat it, anon. I also thought I was heavily ovulating and it took me a long time to find out I got yeast infection from antibiotics.

No. 581110

Once I came into my internship place when I was all fucked up with the flu (due to some paperwork deadline I needed the head to sign) and had pinkeye and a badly infected insect bite. I came in and everyone looked at me like I was a monster. On top of that, I used something that makes contact with your eye, didn't wipe it and next time I was in the staff member I looked up to looked at me and she had pinkeye. I got 2 passive aggressive comments about the fact I shouldn't be there and should go home (which I know), then someone when I was better was like "ya know, if you have an eye infection you should wipe the areas your eye comes in contact with". This was when I was fully better and obvioulsy knew this, I was mortified.

IDK I guess I just thought about how my research would be ruined unless I took literally 5 minutes to do an upkeep thing, so figured I might as well. I also had the drive to "prove" that I realy was sick because I'd been off for around 10 days at that point. I also dropped a phone in the bathtub when I had a bad flu and just watched the bubbles rise to the top and took like a minute to take it out after staring at it, then took my bath and THEN tried to dry the phone lmao. So I think I'm dumb AF when I have the flu, I swear I'm not usually that stupid.

Anyway, I think retardation caused by flu and up until then a work culture of "oh if you're sick just tell us, but you'll definitely be judged for being lazy, possibly faking it and will financially lose out, on top of possibly be dismissed" is the reason.

Whenever someone says "if someone's sick they should not fucking go into work" I'm filled with shame because of that time. It was dumb, and I'm sorry. I apologised and acknowledged it was dumb to some coworkers but even 2 years on it still triggers me.

No. 581111

>>581110
aw anon that sucks. employees are always two faced and it seems like whatever you chose to do when you're sick is a loss. go in to work and get bitched at for being sick, or go home and have everyone mad at you for 'not being sick'. i always feel super guilty and can never relax bc i know everyone is bitching

No. 581128

>>581094
Ngl i fuck with One Week

No. 581331

I'm dating a guy who I'm 95% sure has Marfan Syndrome and I'm having a bit of a hard time getting past that.

We've been on 7 dates and I wonder if and when he's going to bring it up. I'm scared about getting involved with someone who could have future health complications because 1. that's a lot of stress and 2. i have a phobia of hospitals/surgery/medical procedures.

No. 581404

File: 1594244179980.jpg (27.01 KB, 399x399, ProJared.jpg)

I've sent and received nudes from ProJared

I wish I was joking

No. 581409

File: 1594244470698.jpg (28.34 KB, 320x240, 1402462738919.jpg)


No. 581410

>>581331
if he's confirmed marfan and you feel ready for a "break up", you should be open about it with him.
don't feel bad, not all women have this phobia so he's not doomed and will be able to find someone right for him, even if it hurts.

>>581404
now girl…

No. 581413

>>581404
i think god is trying to tell me to leave this site

No. 581417

>>581404
Post his nudes in his thread.

No. 581418

>>581331
I know a girl who has this and even gave birth to a son who was also born with it. She had a c-section and wasn't conscious for it. I think she is on the extreme end of it. She is in a wheel Chair and uses crutches, needs constant hospital visits. Also her son had a lot of complications already due to Marfan syndrome. despite being in canada, all the hospital stays, the hotel rooms put her and her husband in debt. The son has to have open heart surgery at one point in his life due to Marfan. She'll make posts on instagram about how she almost died or something, she's had at least 5 of these so far within the last year.

side bar- does he have a victim complex about? the girl I was talking about has a massive victim complex lol

anyways it appears to be a lot to take on, anon. You never know where life will take you medically but I'm pretty sure if he has marfan syndrome, he has a 50% chance of passing it on to your kids, if you chose to have any with him.

No. 581424

>>581404
He's SO ugly.

No. 581426

File: 1594246287628.jpeg (7.3 KB, 246x205, images.jpeg)

>>581409
>>581417

I know I know

I needed to vent that aspect of myself

I actually find him really attractive he is 100% my type

Also I'm not going to put any of his nudes online since it's consensual and I'm not that trashy of a person….I hope

and also the fact that Hoelly is an insane bint that probably lurks all through lolcow to find us weird girls who'd fuck Jared.

No. 581428

>>581404
Hope you have learned to love yourself anon

No. 581430

>>581426
When did you swap nudes, anon? It would be perfect karma for Hoelly if it was recent

No. 581436

>>581430

It's been going on for a while and still going

No. 581437

>>581418
He has no victim complex whatsoever - at least he hasn't given any indication of having one yet.
He's super tall and loves it, had no hesitation to take his shirt off, and stays active, especially outdoors. He's confident and comfortable with himself which I think is a sexy quality. He's the whole package… except for Marfans.
>i feel like such an asshole and i hate it

As for the kids thing, I'm intrigued about that because I am terrified of the thought of being pregnant and giving birth, so that would solve that issue - we'd adopt.
But again, we're only 7 dates in so I don't wanna start thinking about kids just yet.

No. 581439

>>581426
ah, so you're into men that look like pedophiles. interesting.

No. 581442

>>581426
Imagine protecting and liking someone as awful as Jared. Hope you love yourself one day anon ♥.

No. 581443

Look I'm not into posting other people's nudes online I have some form of morals and it's not to protect him it's to make sure that Batshit Hoelly doesn't go nuclear

I can see that bitch leaking peoples photos and harassing anyone Jared has been sending his schlong to.

No. 581447

>>581443
Yet not enough morals to not get involved with a paedophile…

No. 581448

>>581443
>it's to make sure that Batshit Hoelly doesn't go nuclear
That's the fun part though.

I doubt she'd leak nudes, she's obsessed with being uwu kind and that's low even for her. And surely she knows? Like, that's what he's been doing all along, they got together via cheating after all. And if she doesn't know, she deserves to because she was arrogant enough to think a guy who cheated with her wouldn't cheat on her.

No. 581449

>>581443
>I have some form of morals
>I've sent nudes to ProJared

No. 581458

>>581436
>It's been going on for a while and still going
What's wrong with you?

>>581443
>I have some form of morals
Could've fooled us.
>I can see that bitch leaking peoples photos and harassing anyone Jared has been sending his schlong to.
Kek. Why do you still send him nudes then?

No. 581464

Imagine bragging about how much morals you have while sending nudes to a known narcissistic, manipulative pedophile.

Dickwhipped anon, if you're still reading this, get some help. Stop giving Jared the time of day If you're even really sending and receiving nudes to him. You have to have serious self esteem issues to love a man who literally jacks off to children's bodies and gaslit his wife.

No. 581469

File: 1594252841743.gif (4.26 MB, 480x480, ..gif)

>>581458

Never said I was a saint or anything there's just some lines I will not cross

Everyone is different you y'know

As for why I'm still at it I suppose it's a weird self esteem boost I guess shit that happend in my past may have affected me worse than I thought

and before you ask no I wasn't touched as a child

or I just had a huge gulp of the Dumb Bitch Juice

I did not expect this confession to blow up

No. 581473

>>581443
>>581469

Don't post a full nude. Post a censored image just to prove he's still at this. I'd believe it but proof please.

No. 581481

>>581469
anon, don't jump head-first into a shark tank with drama like that. it will not be rosy.
you're not a bad person for exchanging nudes with this trash imho but you should def evaluate this relationship because it's disgraceful and it's not great to associate with trash and feed their ego. I'm sure you can find a better candidate of your type.
Unless the drama is what draws you in …

No. 581490

File: 1594257033441.gif (774.28 KB, 640x640, fsfef.gif)

>>581481

I haven't really read through this whole thread yet I just thought I'd throw my hat into the ring

Kinda needed to vent somewhere

There's gotta some worse confession than mine

I'm not a person who wants drama in their life I already had enough of that thrust upon me years ago by people I try to lead a more stable existence

No. 581491

>>581443

>I can see that bitch leaking peoples photos and harassing anyone Jared has been sending his schlong to.


Hoelly would be the one in the wrong if she did that, anon.

Besides, she has already tarnished her track-record - so enough people will doubt her if she started doing that…

No. 581493

>>581490
why do you type like a redditor

No. 581495

>>581490
yeah, it was good confession. not a terrible one. but it's about a prolific cow, so you got a lot of attention. maybe you can figure out what you got out of the whole thing fully and move on? I'm sure you can do world's better. just if you want advice. I guess this thread is for confession primarily anyways.

No. 581498

>>581490

I mean, you're anonymous, so it's not like anyone can find you…

No. 581505

>>581490

I’d like to believe this because it would be hilarious that karma was biting hoelly in the ass.
The least you could do is post a time stamped conversation to prove this is a recent and ongoing thing.
He’d have to publicly shoot himself in the foot to come after you for this.
If he is still exchanging nudes with people and it comes out he might actually face some consequences.

No. 581508

>>581505
This, I wouldn't even care that you traded nudes with ProPedo if it turned out to be true, you would have more than made up for it by providing receipts

No. 581515

>>581505
>>581508
She doesn't want it to stop though. As if dicks are rare.

No. 581526

>>581490

Not judging you on your confession. Liking weird looking guys isn't that uncommon. But anons are interested because this is literal milk and the thread's been dry for a while.

Without revealing your identity or his nudes, if you can prove it actually happened at all, that would be pretty milky

No. 581539

>>581426
>calling holly a hoelly when youre one too
>while still having sent nudes to that deformed skinsack
>thinking you're not a trashy person
>thinking you're any different than hoelly


bitchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh youre fucking stupiiiiiiiiiiidddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

No. 581552

I accidentally came up with a "diet plan" that matches my inappropriate quarantine sleep schedule , and I've lost so much weight because of it. It sounds batshit crazy but I eat my breakfast at MIDNIGHT. Yes, I've been going to sleep at 5 am and waking up at like 1pm and one night when I was trying to find off junk food cravings at midnight, I decided to basically start my calorie intake for the next day at midnight. I made a 400 calorie breakfast and a coffee and It killed my cravings and I felt satisfied and weirdly good. I woke up at 1pm and made a mental note that I only have 800 calories left for the day. I ended up using them all for dinner and I was still a little hungry, but reminded myself that I actually only have to wait until midnight to eat again, rather than 8 am like normal people. I've been doing it for 3 weeks now and I lost 5 pounds.

No. 581560

My dad does everything for me. He does my washing, drives me everywhere because I don't have a license, cooks my dinner, folds my laundry. Restocks my bottled water every day. Serves me my dinner on a golden plate, literally. I'm 23.

No. 581561

>>581560
make it up to him

No. 581562

>>581526
Yeah, you shouldnt post the nudes. If he has half a braincell left, he's sending unique pics to all his pic pals (im sure youre not the only one) and even if you censor the photo he could track you and sue you. I would like to see his carreer ruined, but not the life of a rando ho.

Can i ask how it started? Was it before the whole scandal or after?

No. 581571

I honestly think I have some mild form of NPD.

No. 581579

File: 1594274608677.jpeg (22.89 KB, 480x386, EMGS3P1XsAEaBXC.jpeg)

you better post thos pro jared nudes you coward

No. 581594

File: 1594277933310.jpg (21.54 KB, 538x433, redbob.jpg)

propedo anon please be real. please send proof. i want to see the meltdown so bad

No. 581639

>>581464
"Love" a man? She's just swapping nudes to jo of them lol are you mormon?



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