File: 1592861143894.jpg (174.52 KB, 1280x828, confesss.jpg)
No. 573699
A ready receptacle for your untold misdeeds.
Previous thread:
>>>/ot/555948 No. 573715
>>573713Oh, I forgot to add my dad’s family are level 99 Christians, and he has justified abusing my mother and I with the excuse of it is ok to be a douche because he is male.
Plus all his friends are super uppity too. Idk I hate him and those wannabes he runs with.
No. 573728
>>573726I feel kind of bad but then I remember how when my grandma was dying, she hinted that my dad had raped my mom to try to baby trap her. She got an abortion afterward and it explains why when she had a psychotic meltdown after their divorce, she was convinced her “son” was taken from her at the clinic.
I have never had the balls to ask my mom how late she was, etc. I just don’t want to open that can of worms, not yet.
No. 573798
>>573794It's a combination of me being shallow and also a bit of a concern that other people are judging us. Doesn't help that more than one person has straight up told me that my bf is "dating way out of his league."
That being said, it's mostly not a big deal and I usually only find myself fixating on it if I'm feeling insecure and depressed in general.
No. 573817
>>573810What the fuck, this is terrible advice.
Being an e-girl is nothing to aspire to, being so vain and self obsessed that you can't be happy unless you're in the top tier of super popular, desirable girls is pathetic and surgery is not the answer. Getting a fucking life is. Being average is not the end of the world when you have things other than your looks and male attention to focus on.
No. 573830
>>573819Honestly I kind of feel the same way. Since you mention suicidal thoughts I'm guessing mental health issues for some of can just cause this detachment? Because I love my boyfriend too but if he broke it off I think I'd be fine fairly quick. I've always been more or less detached in my relationships with guys. I ghosted my first boyfriend actually. I feel bad about it.
Long story short, I can relate.
No. 573833
File: 1592878589503.jpeg (53.23 KB, 500x258, 2530DAD4-F9DE-4EC0-B7FA-4C92B5…)
>>573830>>573819that’s a sign ladies
a sign it’s almost time
No. 573835
>>573802lmao you sound salty as fuck and trying to cope so hard by labelling literally every pretty girl online with a following as a stupid cumrag when a large majority of them goto college and have boyfriends.
Either go to the gym and learn how to emphasise your features or stop being sour & get comfy in your mediocrity.
No. 573881
File: 1592888434219.jpeg (87.78 KB, 1242x1403, 77C1CE43-1E75-4647-A5C1-7F80D9…)
>>573778It sounds like your relationship is good but be wary he isn't delusional! See pic related.
>>573802>>573835 is right. You sound gross, it's hard but try to have some sympathy for these young women. For fuck's sake you're 24 and that's not old.
No. 573882
File: 1592888558784.jpeg (146.34 KB, 750x1000, C4173458-FAA2-4F8F-8BA7-92D651…)
>>573874> the man who's supposed to be my partner chokes me, stabs meThis you?
No. 573895
>>573892Dude same, just dumped him… I snapped one day and just realized that if I choose it this is going to be my
entire life, and I could not see myself marrying or being with someone like him at all, and I also couldn't see him changing, so I'm fucking gone lol, since I've said that hes gone legitimate psycho and threatened to break all my belongings, so I feel pretty justified in my choice.
No. 573920
>>573916I don’t know, they taste good I guess. I’ve been eating my boogers since I was like 5 and have recently started eating the dead skin off my feet.
I’m still embarrassed that my mom caught me doing the latter and have never lived it down…while still doing
>Edit:On the bright side, at least I don’t eat my own shit. Even I have standards.
No. 573931
>>573920That is truly degenerate and disgusting behaviour but also so harmless that only a mental case could get mad.
Please just get some gum or almonds or something lmao.
No. 573955
File: 1592908676750.jpg (30.32 KB, 564x564, 5cd4dfc0ccfd5e59ea77a836cd986b…)
>>573802>mfw reading this as a 30-year oldOnce you hit 28 looks will lose its meaning to you and you'll learn to accept that the society considers any woman over 19 a waste. Focus on becoming a better person, making a career and learning new skills instead - they will carry you far further because your looks will fade away and stop serving you very fast. Keep in mind that the e-girls are photoshopped and filtered to hell and a lot of them look like regular young women IRL, wouldn't be the first time I see a popular one in the wild and barely recognized them due to them having about 20 pounds more on them than in the photos, a bigger nose, smaller lips and pronounced eyebags.
No. 573962
>>573835I mean egirls are pretty much thots lite and thots-in-training, she's not wrong.
And not "literally every pretty girl online" is an egirl, you're reaching.
No. 573999
>>573985>>573981This exchange made me chuckle a bit.
My 100% autistic confession: I pretend that I'm an alien trying to blend in with humans without being noticed when I'm around other people that I don't know well.
No. 574032
>>574029I'm so glad that it worked out for you! I just really don't have time and it's unfair to him.
>>574030I wholeheartedly agree with you, it's just hard. This is a good reminder, though. Thank you, anon.
No. 574090
File: 1592933162503.jpg (34.68 KB, 536x680, clownery luv.jpg)
Good lord, I'm aware this is petty and stupid but I need to confess my sins in a place nobody will know about.
I'm the owner of a small discord server (30 people consistently, but on good weeks it can get 50+ people) with no particular theme besides it being a place for people from a shitty mobile app to have a better place to talk. One member, Dora, is not the most liked person. She's annoying, goes on the gaming voice chat even though she won't play games with people and keeps talking over others while they're trying to play (it's often this one strategy based game so communication is important), keeps opening stuff next to the mic and won't mute it while she's talking to her family members. She's annoying but we thought she was harmless, also the simpy boys protected her at all costs when the other admins would call her out, so we kept her.
I never showed it, but I particularly hated her fucking guts because while I don't mind girls being flirty, she was always coming a bit too hard on all the boys in the server, including my bf, even though he already told her to back off and blocked her in the app (but not on the server because he's a retard when it comes to discord). She would also say petty shit to me and the other female admin, while at the same time preaching HURR DUR GIRLS UPLIFT GIRLS on the channel.
When we realised someone was screenshotting our messages and sending them somewhere, me and the other two admins did a little snooping and figured out it was none other than Dora herself. I actually was the one to get the proof, but because I knew this wouldn't be enough to get the simps convinced she should go without protest I photoshopped screenshots of her talking shit about most members, including one of the most beloved and protected members that has a disability and everyone goes apeshit if you say anything about him. It was shit so vile that I felt bad even just writing it out for a fake screenshot, but holy shit it worked.
People on the server hate her and the shitstorm even hit the app, and she deactivated her account there as well as blocking most people on the server. Before she did she tried to tell people it was fake, but it was just too convenient of an 'excuse', and coupled with the actually genuine proof of her snitching and people confirming it, she had no way to convince people. And to my luck, turns out Dora was mean to people on the app before, but not on the levels of the screenshots, but it was enough to make people believe it without question.
Anyway, I feel kinda bad because she seemed like she just wanted attention, but she annoyed me and bitch got got.
No. 574297
>>574219It's a perception thing, I guess? You literally don't perceive anything as being real. It kind of feels like you're in a 24/7 dream is the best way I can explain it. It's really frightening if you don't understand what's happening to you, but to my understanding, it's a symptom of severe anxiety and that essentially your brain is like, detaching you from your surroundings because it thinks that you're dying.
I've tried all kinds of drugs and nothing has made a difference for this particular problem. Effexor helped my anxiety, but the derealization stuck around. I know from experience that it'll go away eventually, but it's extremely annoying that whenever I go through this, it sticks around for literal fucking years at a time. First time took me roughly two years to come out of it. This time around it's been about a year so far.
No. 574307
>>574301I'm not exactly surrounded by them since I don't live in an Arab community or anything like that. I just don't like the way they look or style themselves.
>I think that's why so many arab girls become gross weeaboos kek. Really? I had no idea lots of arab girls are weebs lol. I have seen dozens of arab koreaboos though, mainly because of bts.
No. 574317
>>574310I'm this poster
>>574301. I'm from palestine and I can acknowledge that palestinian men are attractive, however I think at a certain point being attractive doesn't equal being physically intriguing, does that make sense? I hope it does lol. I might not be one to talk. I live in America but I live in a city with a huge palestinian, Lebanese, and Syrian population. At this point I'm just sick of it. I find myself attracted to those who are only half arab and half hispanic, white, or asian.
No. 574339
>>574335I think I make good choices but I want a friend like you to help with my social media. I feel too self absorbed asking friends which selfie is better.
I miss when reverse image search wasn't a thing, so you could post stuff online anonymously for feedback.
No. 574372
>>57380224 is still super young you clown
But yes, in the long run having an education and getting a decent job is way better than thotting it up. Especially now that people are quick to ditch things once a new thing comes along.
No. 574396
>>574335caring about social media this much baffles me unless you were trying to make money from it.
>>574384i'm sorry anon, you cannot meme yourself into becoming same-sex attracted. get some fancy sex toys and massages regularly. if you want to give up on dating men do it.
>disgusted by male attentionthis sounds like a deeper problem, get some professional help sis
No. 574397
File: 1592983412927.jpg (61.71 KB, 670x788, 20chai1.jpg)
>>574386>>574316>>574320this is what I mean mean, sadly these type of men though rarely date/marry outside their clan
No. 574466
>>574459This is an awesome power move but tbh I'm a little nervous for you over the fact that he was physically
abusive before and seems entitled. I hope he doesn't try to get violent towards you again when he finds out he can't talk his way into getting access to his stuff w/o paying you just because he'd know you own it now.
No. 574478
>>574459Like other anon said just be careful seeing as he has resorted to being physical with you before, he's already passed that threshold so now that you're his ex and holding sentimental items hostage what's to stop him going nuts? You said he's been heading down a road of making one bad decision after another.. he might not have good enough decision making skills right now to even worry about going to jail for assault.
I have an ex who turned physical at the end. I could destroy his new relationship with evidence that after he cheated on me to be with a new girl.. he immediately cheated on her too. I'm tempted to get that revenge but you have to weigh up whether it's worth the possible backlash from him. Sounds like this guy has nothing to lose, that's a dangerous scenario.
No. 574497
>>574466>>574478Ty anons, that’s something for me to consider I hadn’t given much thought. A man with nothing to lose is the most dangerous kind.
Despite how awful he is, I wouldn’t feel right throwing those things out; but on the other hand, I don’t want to be a doormat and he give him these items plus a monetary reward.
I hate having a conscience, especially w him of all people.
No. 574498
>>574478Also- I hate how someone always has a similar (or worse) situation. It really makes me ill how common it is, and how rare vindication is.
I will plant a flag in his shit and say it’s for all womankind lol
No. 574562
>>574540Kek just why
Just don't post about immediately fucking in it to facebook like in the Abby Brown thread
No. 574721
>>574504I did it, I posted the letter on Facebook and sent it to his HR department. I told my boss about it today since she hated him when he worked there and she turned on me.
>"you seem angrier at yourself than him.">"you know, a lot of people in their early 20s are interested in teenagers.">"I've done a lot of bad things in my life that I've had to apologize for. doesn't mean they should follow me forever.">"you knew what you were getting into."she asked why i did it and i told her i picked up on a pattern of behavior with him and he could be going to other youth groups to prey on other teenage girls for all we know. he could be in grad school to become a teacher. she said i'm overthinking it. i said he shouldn't have been able to just go on and live a normal life and she said
>"but we don't know if he's happy, he could be miserable! you never know what somebody's going through."just completely missing the point. i'm more hurt than i'd like to admit. she said almost everything i was terrified of hearing at once. i feel like shit. i'm doubting myself again.
No. 574739
>>574722Keep it a fantasy anon unless you hate his gf
>>573778Same… it affects him as well
No. 574742
File: 1593044258632.jpg (82.79 KB, 944x856, 1584334674773.jpg)
i just wanna love this dude down gat damn
No. 574824
>>574821I am married, but bisexual.
I exclusive masturbate to girl on girl porn because I do not believe a woman can really actually enjoy herself with another man by penetrative sex.
Maybe I am gay. I don’t know.
No. 574874
>>574736you the total opposite of me anon.
My last home I consistently got scratches that stung on my back, legs, and arms when I'd just be sitting at my desk or doing fuck all. Towards the end we had flickering lights or lights that would instantly die. All my siblings had seen specific doors slowly open or close on their own. Those damn scratches left long red lines with one making an H on my leg. I didn't believe in ghosts but I felt like I was slowly going crazy from the scratches even if I spent a whole day with my hands on the keyboard doing an essay. It felt like there was a gaze on me a lot of the time, but thankfully i don't live there so no more marks or lingering feeling.
No. 574888
>>574852My current boyfriend and I had a messy friendship like this. We went through phases of not talking but we thought it would make our feelings go away. About 8 years I believe. I had never thought about someone the same way I thought about him. That urge of checking up on him and talking to him never went away. I would fall asleep in another man's arms and pretend it was him. I had never thought about anyone else this same way. We started talking again and we have never once regret it.
Trust yourself. If you so desperately feel pulled to him, talk to him. I'm sure the feelings were mutual. It's worth a shot anyway, considering you aren't talking right now. You have nothing to lose but potentially so much to gain.
No. 574894
>>574888cried reading this comment. you have no idea how much i relate even though we were only friends. i've never loved another friend like this, and i've certainly not forgotten him in 10 years. my heart is breaking just thinking about how i have literally no idea what i'd even say to him in the first message in a decade
i hope you and your boyfriend are in a more peaceful situation and i'm so happy you got talking again anon
No. 575287
File: 1593144088129.jpg (29.29 KB, 473x471, hornee.JPG)
The husbando thread makes me horny every time I browse it and I love discussing being horny over them with other farmers.
No. 575415
>>575329i agree anon. i don't mind some porn, like gentle or passionate scenes, but the things you mention make me uncomfortable as well.
fanfic, though. i still draw limits at some things, but whew am i much freer.
No. 575456
>>575329I'm not about to demand equal rights for fictional characters or say that we should ban cartoon sex drawings, but let's be real hentai is damaging young teens just the same as real porn. It doesn't matter that it's fiction because they internalize it just the same way they absorb tropes and morals from disney films.
Hentai is so normalized now but you can click on anything and see loli rape cervix prolapse scenes, you have to make a real effort to find purely vanilla consensual hentai, that's going to have affect them all. The least worst thing that can happen is that they grow up thinking that the smell of a musky unwashed dick is actually a turn on and that women only actively take part when their hips move on their own.
No. 575492
>>575456Why the fuck do you moralfags go straight into "loli cervix prolapse" like there's nothing in between that and consensual vanilla hentai? And even if it was ridiculous crap like nipple fucking or some disgusting fetish like this it still wouldn't matter because it's all fiction and wouldn't even work in real life.
>you have to make a real effort to find purely vanilla consensual hentaiFunny I never had this problem. Maybe stop hanging around neckbeard lolicons.
>they internalize it just the same way they absorb tropes and morals from disney films.>absorb tropes and morals from disney filmsOkay this has to be a bait or underage.
>>575416I just recently learned how the porn actresses are often coerced and forced to do shit on the spot that wasn't even scripted. It was horrifying how they're treated and I can only imagine what happens during scenes. Some of them can't have regular sex outside of porn due to PTSD and almost all of them have a history of suffering of sexual abuse and/or drug addiction.
No. 575805
Back in my early teen years I went through a slight aussieboo phase because I had a crush on Sniper from TF2
>>575446Bitch me too. They're my guilty pleasure
No. 576060
>>576053Feminists don't care about sexbots, men just desperately want to imagine they do because it's a sad revenge fantasy lmao.
A male sexbot would be awesome. I don't wanna deal with a real man but I'm still sexually attracted to them.
No. 576139
>>576121You do understand that even if you delete the pics and accounts they will be in the internet forever right?
I hope you didn't attach your face or any recognizable marking.
No. 576234
>>576205I'm sorry you had such a shit exboyfriend, like who tf does that? I've heard other stories similiar to yours where a boyfriend would pretend to be his girlfriend online and it makes me wonder how many more are out there. If a woman posting her nudes and writing 'I love being a cocksleeve uwu' is actually a dude.
I've had a similiar experience but not with a boyfriend, worst thing is all of it is me very underage, like 13-16 and I feel absolutely awful thinking about it so I just don't kek. If someone out there is watching a 14 yo me drink her pee, that's on them. I can't do anything about it. But it has made me very scared of getting pictures of myself taken because I'm afraid a pic of me with my friends could circulate around and someone would find out about all the nudes and porn of mine. Paranoia.
No. 576477
File: 1593387328832.jpg (51.87 KB, 564x404, db8cfa4fba5bc5e2a9bbba17031205…)
>>573699I rewatched Gone Girl just for the scene where Ami slaughters Desi, I get so turned on by it and I think about it a lot…
No. 576699
>>576477samefag, here's said scene.
warning: NSFW
No. 576801
>>576768I watch japanese porn to get away from all the fake butts and boobs, the visible hair extention tracks, bad tattoos and all that shit that bothers me a weird amount.
After sifting through the sea of japanese 'groped on the train' scenes I've finally found some pretty sweet/tender looking scenes with lots of foreplay, teasing, kissing, I kinda feel lonely after watching them tho lol
No. 576871
>>576803I had a similar thing with someone who writes stuff. I try to separate the author from the content I like but it's hard because the misogyny started to permeate all of their recent stuff. I've grown numb to it but it might be because I've been on imageboards for so long that misogyny is like the default state.
I was severely depressed and disappointed for a while but now I just try to improve myself and become better than them.
No. 576884
>>576865Lmao did we date the same person. My ex did this EXACT shit to me. Swooped in basically trying to be my savior when I was at my absolute lowest point. He was very sneaky about it too, didn't outright say he wanted to "save me," but that he could tell that I had "a lot of potential" and "just needed someone to be by their side and root for them." I really sincerely believed that he could still see the person I was underneath, and just wanted to support me while I worked through my issues. I couldn't have been more wrong.
Men who do this are predators, plain and simple. They tell you exactly what you want to hear so that you'll fall for them. Once they've trapped you, they start slowly eroding away at any remaining self-confidence you have left via emotional and verbal abuse. My ex gaslit me to the point that I didn't know up from down, all the while maintaining this facade that he was improving my life in some meaningful way.
Basically, I'd be extremely cautious of any man that has a history of dating vulnerable women, ESPECIALLY if he's making claims like he wanted to help, or save them.
No. 576891
>>576863There's definitely alot of creepy gropey shit that shows up when searching it but then there's the other extreme where the man will be a more considerate lover than anything else I've seen.
I like the slightly blurred out genitals too.
No. 576905
>>576879Same, I'm constantly worrying about lists of things that I need to do later.
It's one of the few things that fully distracts me and empties my head for a bit. The only other thing that's close to it is drinking and I can't get drunk every day and still function for work.
No. 577027
>>577020I can relate to so many posts on here today, like I could've written this.
I'm hoping that we'll mellow out with age? I keep meaning to try some of that positive thinking shit to 'retrain my thoughts' but it's hard to get motivated and I'm already predicting it failing.. the irony there lol
No. 577228
File: 1593483692465.jpg (23.89 KB, 464x403, hold.JPG)
I don't really like dicks but I do like balls. Fun to squeeze and slap
kek
No. 577503
File: 1593531166487.png (197.73 KB, 531x409, 1.png)
>>573881What happens when a hot guy gets with an ugly girl, though?
Does she think she rules the world?
No. 577505
File: 1593531447033.jpeg (93.46 KB, 500x572, EEA22F3F-3C13-4A5F-95E3-485232…)
I started liking the music from hypnosismic
No. 577766
File: 1593574275061.jpg (100.07 KB, 1280x720, maxresdefault.jpg)
>>576622based. i'm tired of seeing dorito-shaped men being shilled.
No. 577777
>>577503Basically
>>577504. She most likely doesn't feel "on top of the world", but still extremely validated. Male beauty isn't a commodity like female beauty and youth. I doubt she'd break up with her boyfriend thinking she could get a hotter man, whereas men get replacement girlfriends (and wives) a lot more.
No. 577835
>>577818Struggling with internalized misogyny sucks, I completely understand. Especially if you've had a history of girls shunning you or you struggle to make female friends. I hope we both can grow from this issue and find decent women in our life that defeats our
toxic mindset.
No. 577851
>>577836It's ok anon, this is a very common ordeal. I can't guarantee this is why you're missing your
abusive ex in your specific situation, but usually people end up missing them because, in a sick twisted way, you feel like they invested energy in you in order to be that mean. You also value the very few good times you've had with them and almost get a high trying to reach that with them again. Your brain is going from highs and lows in a relationship to neutralness. It's literally an addiction of sorts anon. You don't miss him, you miss the stimulation, even though it was bad most of the time.
No. 577863
>>577851Thank you so much for giving me your insight on this.
You're absolutely right, I was addicted to the high and lows being with him gave me. But I felt like I was absolutely walking on eggshells because of how easily he would just dump me. It felt like a very fucked up emotional rollercoaster ride.
I think I may need therapy at this point because it's been hard moving on and I need to remind myself it was unhealthy and
toxic.
Even if not therapy, just remind myself everyday I don't miss him, just the fucked up relationship where I was okay getting scraps.
No. 577916
>>577836Damn, this post could've been mine, even including the ages and how long the relationships lasted.
I know the feeling. Even though I rationally know that I was miserable when I was with my ex, I still somehow crave the passion and the sheer emotionality of it all. It had this 'just us against the world' feeling to it that was incredibly unhealthy but I still miss it.
I dream of my ex way too often as well, as soon as I wake up I feel terrible about it. Especially when my current bf, who is the sweetest person in the world, is next to me.
Seriously I think therapy would be a good idea. I've been putting it off for much too long myself because I get scared that it'll only make me miss it more, but that's bullshit really. Wishing you the best.
No. 577931
File: 1593609178477.png (268.58 KB, 1190x622, 0201.png)
I have a massive crush on these two … I know they're scrote memes but I genuinely cannot help it they are so cute UGH where the fuck is my gf
No. 578035
>>577836I have a similar problem. I don't really miss my ex or stalk him, but I still get bogged down by memories of the relationship and how awful it was. Sometimes, I feel this sort of longing for a relationship that could have been, but never was because he's so messed up. Or, I feel like I'm too blame because I have issues as well, and I couldn't "help" him be a better man. I dated mine for the same length of time, as well as have been out of the relationship for the same length of time, as you.
I really think what happens in
abusive relationships is that you miss what could have been, not the way things actually were. If your ex was anything like mine, he probably treated you like a goddess at first, then slowly began to reveal who he truly was once you two were official. It's very difficult to reconcile with the truth when you've been so heavily manipulated, and that continues to affect you even after its over.
No. 578268
>>578267I relate so hard, I dont know if Im lesbian or bi but the lgbt community is soo
toxic and miserable. I dont feel connected to it at all.. I just like girls and I dont want to be insane about it
No. 578293
File: 1593670201482.png (173.82 KB, 424x491, EbnIrFGUcAUAunf.png)
i've been on a femboy kick (strictly 2d lol) since…when. late last year?
i don't know why but i love 'em.
No. 578297
>>578290I can relate to this somewhat. One day when I was 13-14 and I walking home from school I was ruminating about how worthless I was. I was bullied at school, couldn't connect with people in general and felt like I didn't belong anywhere. I could not imagine life getting any better in the future. When I got home I lied down on the floor and cried for hours.
I often think about that day and sometimes wish that I had ended it back then. This is probably not much of a consolation anon, just know that you are not alone with this.
No. 578353
>>578310So travel indefinitely, separate from your family as respectfully as you can and don't get a partner?
I know we're meant to respect people's choices but this makes no sense as a suicide plan. Normally people want to kill themselves because they're lonely and don't know what else to do or can't deal with the idea of being infirm but your forties are prime years for traveling, you can just keep hopping between transitory workaway positions and following the open road for at least another decade or until you find somewhere you like enough to stay.
If this is related to a fear of growing old then at least leave the suicidal ideation for when your body can't keep up with your lifestyle plans. You're not an old person in your forties but you'll be old enough to make sound choices that people respect, why throw away a good decade when you can instead just throw away society's expectations?
No. 578689
File: 1593751030559.png (188.94 KB, 657x425, hornybegone1.png)
damn i wish i could stop being horny
No. 578718
File: 1593758144801.jpeg (133.39 KB, 1280x760, 1588698826012.jpeg)
I'm shut in. My social anxiety is so bad i can't go out, it's been 2 years. I'm so scared to stay immature or not grow because i miss the experiences.
No. 578825
>>578718I was like that from 12 to 19, no school, total shut in. Not gonna lie I'm 30 now and still fairly limited in what I can do but I live alone and can go out to shop, sit in a cafe, go to the post office or dentist etc. Being able to do even that essential shit feels good.
Take baby steps, celebrate the small accomplishments and don't beat yourself up over it.
No. 578952
>>578946I've been in an
abusive relationship and the reason I stayed so long is i had no confidence, no self esteem, I already felt like an idiot and he made me feel like no other man on earth would want me. You probably could sit down with any abused woman and relate to those feelings
No. 578976
>>578952I've had low self esteem but I've never been in a bad relationship. In fact, I rarely get asked out so it's not like anyone
abusive has ever pursued me.
And plenty of people with low self esteem like to drag others for being ugly or what not. Not sure why I need to give them a pass for what.
>>578949So I need to coddle them in order for them to treat me with basic respect? No thanks.
No. 578978
>>578946>>578976I mean this with no malice but you sound very naive, very young, or both. It's okay to not understand how
abusive relationships work in the real world but I would try to have a bit more humility about it.
>I've had low self esteem but I've never been in a bad relationship. In fact, I rarely get asked out so it's not like anyone abusive has ever pursued me. Congrats. You sound like the perfect target for someone emotionally
abusive. Do you know how so many emotionally
abusive relationships work and why people stay in them? It's not that they're just that much stupider than you. Vulnerable, ignored people with low self esteem are easy to reel in and lull into a false sense of security with love bombing, and then emotional abuse starts. I say this because I'm in such a relationship right now and one of the things that keeps me from leaving is that I have no idea if I could ever expect to find someone after this because I'm fucking worthless. If you can't have empathy for others at least acknowledge that there are many things you don't know or don't understand.
No. 578984
>>578976>So I need to coddle them in order for them to treat me with basic respect? No thanks.What in the actual fuck are you talking about? Offering support to someone going through a rough time isn't "coddling," it's basic human empathy. This is clearly a personal issue you developed after a negative interaction that you're now projecting upon an entire group of people.
I cannot comprehend how someone goes from "this person is in an
abusive relationship" to "I don't feel bad for them because they're going to attack me for being ugly," otherwise. It does not follow any logical line of reasoning.
No. 578997
>>578987Right, but you keep equating this with being in an
abusive relationship, which makes me think that you've actually had the experience of either sympathizing with someone who was in an
abusive relationship and was treated with hostility and called ugly in response, or have said something rude and insensitive to someone in an
abusive relationship, and had that person lash out and call you ugly in response.
If that's not the case, I'd think you'd come in here and confess not feeling bad for anyone on this board in general because you believe that most people on here drag others for being ugly.
No. 579004
>>578989If I'm such an incel why do you need my pity so badly?
>>578997Because the people here in
abusive relationships demand a lot of pity.
>>578994I don't thin I'm ugly but other anons wouldn't hesitate to nitpick me
No. 579009
>>579005It's just sad because this person sounds like the exact type of woman who is most vulnerable to finding herself in an
abusive relationship. I hope she finds the light before such a thing happens to her.
No. 579024
>>579023>>579017If people here are too busy hating themselves then why do they love to nitpick other people so much?
>>579005Do you think I owe you pity because you're worse off than me?
>>579009I don't get asked out enough to get in an
abusive relationship
No. 579025
>>579004You are deliberately being obtuse at this point. I've never seen anyone on this board in an
abusive relationship "demand pity." People may vent about it in the vent thread on /ot/, or in the break-up threads on /g/, because that's literally what those threads are for.
You seem very self-involved and have made no effort to understand where anyone is coming from on this issue, instead choosing to focus on yourself and your own feelings. I think you're just jealous of anyone on this board who is getting attention for any reason, because that person isn't you.
No. 579027
>>579025If you're sooo much more understanding than me why does what I say bother you so much?
>>579026Still doesn't explain the nitpicking and people with superiority complexes here. "Oh bloo bloo bloo, I love to drag other people for random things but it's ok because of my mental illness." And speak for yourself, there seem to be plenty of relatively normal people here who don't have mental illnesses dominating their lives.
No. 579028
>>579025I've seen similar bullshit claims that 'ooh all the posts about CSA on here are for pity' That's just the nature of a board with anonymity, people vent their darkest secrets like domestic abuse and CSA. Funny thing is
victims in both those circumstances often carry a lot of guilt and shame. They're not looking for pity, they're offloading because they can't do that anywhere else.
No. 579029
>>579026I think she has maybe a bit of normie in her and doesn't quite grasp that nitpicking cows is not how users treat literally any other woman. Cows get picked apart because most of them are vain braggy attention whores,
many of whom literally trade on and profit from their appearance. Someone who chooses to make themselves into a public figure exposes themselves to a certain level of justified scrutiny and I don't think I've ever seen an appearance related criticism that wasn't linked to someone's genuinely shitty cow behavior. Also don't really get why you'd browse this board if it causes you to clutch your pearls this much.
No. 579031
>>579029I like a lot of the discussion on this board. I like drama in general but nitpicking appearance is my least favorite discussions even when that person is being a cow. And what's to stop other people from saying I'm a cow and deciding I'm fair game for that?
>>579030I meant specifically nitpicking appearances, and I actually don't do that. I actually don't even nitpick my own appearance. I think I look average to good irl.
No. 579037
>>579034>>579036You cared enough to reply.
>>579032I'm not worrying about it.
No. 579088
File: 1593821382912.jpg (11.03 KB, 348x394, 11216254_10202819981140787_283…)
>>578693We can be dumb fucks together, anon. I stopped having sex for about half a year because I thought I had warts. Turns out it's just normal vaginal skin.
No. 579128
>>578947So basically, my grandparents house is the Covid positive house and if anyone tests positive at my house wed already said wed go stay there since my Mom & Grandparents all have Covid. I am still in the grey area and was thinking of telling my family I'm positive so I can be with my Mom while her dad dies. I'm worried about her going through this alone, and I know it sounds dumb to basically give myself Covid but I want to make sure my Mom is taken care of in what is going to be a really hard upcoming chapter of her life.
My Grandpa dying really came out of left field for all of us and my Mom has always been more close to her dad than mom. I want to know she is going to be okay and taken care of.
No. 579212
>>579188You're just different, and there's nothing wrong with being different. Why do you need to pathologize it to be kinder to yourself? You're not bad for not being like others.
And I understand many people won't like you, but there are those like me who really appreciate weirdos. There will always be a place for you.
No. 579616
File: 1593936754091.png (411.72 KB, 331x565, Screenshot_2020-07-05 e2d jpg …)
I have a decent opportunity to have a good life but the only thing I'm interested in and have any drive for is drugs.
No. 579705
>>579687Well I already know what you'll be doing in ten year's time - wishing you could do these current years of your life better instead of getting set in a behavioural baseline of regret, self-pity and inaction you will keep existing in.
The past is never an excuse for present actions (or inaction). Life passes quickly by and then you die, there's no time to pout and stomp your foot about things that didn't go your way. Just accept them and move on.
No. 579718
>>579697oh man. it's like,
>tons of childhood trauma stemming from their parents >extended family is just a matter of who's "less bad" >gay>mentally ill (extreme ocd, depression, anxiety, ptsd) + hypochondriac & autistic>extremely poor (moved to a very old house, can't afford to pay bills a lot of the time)>living in the deep south in a shitty tiny town>bad physical health (obesity, really fucked up teeth despite having spent thousands of dollars on the weirdest braces i've seen, scoliosis, skin stuff, bad eyesight)>teenage trauma with online groomers combined with childhood trauma = distrusts everyone they meet even now… god knows they've tried but all their therapists have been "u need 2 pray the demons away" bible thumping idiots because deep south.
they have one thing going for them is that they're academically successful despite the poverty…but even that was fueled entirely by intense anxiety and fear.
the only thing keeping them going is the fact that their addict parents can't/don't want to take care of the animals on their own, and that they're afraid of divine retribution if they an hero'd.
No. 579721
>>579718That's a lot, but it's not untreatable. If they (is it a tranny? lmao) could even just focus on improving in one of those areas, like their weight, it's a step in the right direction and typically inspires motivation for more positive change.
This person's health is definitely something they have control over. Being academically successful is also going to help them out a lot in the long run.
I really hope it's not clear to this person that you have so little faith in them, because that's going to be a huge detriment to their journey.
No. 579723
>>579721i'm making it more clear: we are no friends anymore. we were very very close until they cut me off because i was becoming a normal person with friends (less internet, new friends i could see irl) + drank alcohol on the weekends (they have a phobia of alcohol and me simply mentioning alcohol a couple of times on twitter made them randomly ask me, obviously uncomfortable, if i was drunk at 11am in class. lmao.) cut me off because i simply said, during our one argument, that they had been difficult to deal with for a couple of months. they have terribly black and white thinking and have cut off many people like this. some deserved, some not so much. they also block everyone and anyone.
they (born female) went from "no gender" to "i'm basically a woman but can't admit it to myself" lol. given all their mental illnesses it's no wonder.
they have intense guilt over eating every day and will starve, then binge, then starve again, or eat the weirdest food at random times (an onion…). also poverty and narcissist mom won't let them into the kitchen. i think they also have arthritis.
they're academically successful in a field that isn't so popular though, so idk how much they can get out of the hole in the deep south before potentially burning out.
but deep down i wish they'd succeed. it would be impressive if they did.
No. 579731
>>579718Sounds like her problems would disappear exponentially if she could move away from her southern shitpit town, receive some proper medical and dental care, and remove herself from her
toxic family situation. However all that is very hard to overcome even when a person is normal and successful, unfortunately "it takes a village" and the deck is stacked against her.
She's not irredeemable, it just sounds like she has limited opportunities due to her financial and living status. As a result she has a self-perpetuated
victim mentality and also gets jealous easily of anyone she sees escaping bad circumstances that she's still stuck to deal with on the daily.
Bet her weird binging and restricting habits with food stem from the fact that it's one of the few aspects she feels she has control over in her life.
No. 579739
>>579731it's funny because their friends had to tell them their shit life was not normal and for a long time they didn't want to admit that their parents were crazy, that their living situation was terrible and that their poor mental health isn't just "how it be".
i feel like they were jealous because they felt left out. i was having fun irl with new friends while they wouldn't get as many messages from me anymore.
the restricting was more in lines with forgetting to eat from fucked up sleep schedules. speaking of which, they'd also go between staying up for 2 days straight and sleeping 12 hours. they had terrible nightmares that made them afraid of sleeping.
No. 579747
>>579723That's fair. It's hard to be supportive of someone who is actively pushing you away or acting
toxic like this, even if you still empathize with their situation. There's only so much you can do for people that don't want to accept help. Thanks for clarifying, and I'm sorry for the accusatory tone of my previous post.
No. 579887
>>579733Because OP said her life is "doomed" and it's better that her suicide attempts be successful. Her life is redeemable from this so-called hopelessness and doom.
>>579739You don't have to be her friend or anything but try to have some empathy. People can't help the environment they're born into.
No. 579909
File: 1594000461779.jpeg (36.86 KB, 225x225, 8124AA70-3E8A-481C-833C-996C65…)
I like to eat a bunch of pic related and smoke a cigarette afterwards. It tastes like roast chicken.
Yes, I’m white trash.
No. 579930
>>579909Cigs make me nauseous but I still have one occasionally for the taste. It's very soothing and having my hair smell like smoke reminds me of college all nighters when the cig break was king. You are
valid anon
No. 579982
>>579870fuck yeah anon, i might do the same tonight. I know I'll be getting shitfaced at least.
time to dig out the bodyline like the trash I am
No. 579996
>>579931Man, anon, idk if you're getting married soon, but if you are let go of everyone else's opinion right now. A wedding is YOUR day. No one has a right to tell you how they think YOUR wedding should be. Even if they're helping pay for it. And if someone thinks they can tell you what to do because they're paying for it, they're only "helping" to be in control.
You can have the most gaudy, trashy, ugly, horrendous dress, decorations, cake etc… but no one can or should say a damn thing, cause it's your wedding.
Besides, if you can't be comfortable at your own wedding, then whats even the point.
>>579993What kind of bug was it? If it was like a cockroach or something please just make a new cup. You're already drinking old coffee.
No. 580016
File: 1594021626893.png (126.8 KB, 517x564, 015_06a891c8_540.png)
>>579870Hell yeah
I'm gonna do the same.
No. 580107
>>580036Guys whinging online about how they have never been kissed and can't get dates is less desperate in your mind than signing up on a dating app? Lmao.
By the way, guys are manipulating you and it's working.
No. 580213
>>580210Ehh, we have some trips planned, plus I don't mind the orgasms. And as I said, I do like spending time with her irl. All my doubts are gone as soon as she is next to me. But when she is not, it's crazy annoying.
>>580211I guess you're right. Thank god you're calling me out. When I do break up with her, I'll explain her why.. that she was too much.
But again, when I see her and I'm with her, I don't want to break up at all. Which is why I don't want to do it too soon.
Plus, I hope she'll change a bit.. I'm slowly trying to confront her about some of her attachment issues, the problem is that if I do say something, she feels as if its a personal attack. Her dad tells her that stuff too so I'm not alone in this.
No. 580244
>>580209She sounds like a mutual I know. She's so bad, I've wanted to post her in the personal cow thread for a while.
Imagine the attachment issues, but with a guy in jail for murdering an ex.
No. 580254
>>580036You have savior fetish
>>580249Anon you really shouldn’t envy us. There is literally nothing wrong with wanting emotional connection. Love filled sex is amazing. Don’t FOMO yourself into thinking you want to do it just because people gas it up to be a fun thing; it’s mundane af and frequently disappointing. Vacation in a far away land is a ‘must‘ experience worth envying. Having mediocre/bad sex with a scrote who doesn’t love you is not.
No. 580391
File: 1594079654733.jpg (6.1 KB, 194x259, images (1).jpg)
I have awful hyperpigmentation and it's so embarrassing. I'm black too, so it's super noticeable. I want to try an acid peel or microrolling, but I'm scared I'll fuck up my face. My only options are vitamin c and exfiolating at this point.
I literally can't stop picking at my skin. I literally have scabs on my face from picking my blackheads/pimples. I've been doing better at holding off on it, but I'm worried that I'm gonna end up getting a really bad infection at some point. It's just so addictive.
>>580352Joji is kinda ugly-cute in a way. He looks different in every photo, but I think he was cutest before he became mainstream, pic related. His eyes are really nice too. They just have a really kind and sweet look to them. Like a puppy.
No. 580423
File: 1594083430445.jpg (95.33 KB, 1125x1256, giol19e7wut21.jpg)
>>580352I love him but totally get why people wouldn't. I also think he's kind of an asshole which makes him all the more appealing to my mentally disadvantaged brain. Pretty sure he has epilepsy and takes medication for it which explains why he sometimes looks really bad
No. 580453
>>580426Fuck, my mom was 18 and my dad was 47 maybe that explains me lmao
My dad died when I was young so my memories of him aren't really focused on his age so it's something I tend to forget. Man that age gap was fucked up.
No. 580469
I’m completely disappointed with the wedding I had, but don’t think I could ever express it without hurting feelings. I’m living overseas so my few closest friends couldn’t come, and I ended up inviting a bunch of acquaintances in order to not look like a complete loser. While they’re all nice people, I basically ended up paying a ton of money for each of them to attend and most of them couldn’t even follow this country’s basic wedding manners (which I got nagged at by my MIL later about). My husband has a small friend group too, so the majority of attendees ended up being my FILs business colleagues.
Without blogging too hard about everything being essentially pre-chosen (the norm for here, DIY anything is super rare and just not available in the major cities) I would’ve been content with this shitshow event if our photos at least came out nice.
There were maybe 2 out of almost 1000 where I didn’t have an uncomfortable grimace, was bizarrely over exposed, or showed how shitty my eyeliner was done by the makeup artist. I didn’t even get any shots of just my dress because the whole event was so structured and full of outfit changes there literally wasn’t time. I don’t think I even tasted any of the food aside from some cake for the sake of a photo. I’m still nauseas when I think about how I got nothing but stress and ugly photos from the entire situation and it still cost over $25,000 usd.
Farmers, don’t have a wedding. Just pay some instagram photographer to take nice pictures and fake a wedding instead. I should’ve known better lol.
>>579931Just saw this after typing up all of the above. Please, for the love of god just trash the wedding if you don’t want to do it. It WILL show on your face that you hate it and you’ll be constantly trying to convince yourself afterwards that some things were “nice” to justify the effort and money you dumped into this stupid thing.
The memory of what we did is so tainted in my mind that I’m actually considering spending more money in the future to have another “wedding” in the future with just me and my husband and a couple of friends hanging out and eating good food while I wear a wedding dress in the woods or something lol.
Dealing with your family’s nagging about doing things “properly” is 100x better than regretting giving into them.
No. 580559
File: 1594111647260.png (220.99 KB, 526x573, cc5d78ad618a4abb9a36a096fe408a…)
>>580491>>580497>>580540…Why hate yourself over that so much? Maybe this could serve as a message that trying to judge people for what they're attracted to is a moot point. I can't imagine calling myself gross, disgusting, fucked up, or suggesting that I should receive therapy as a full-grown adult because I looked at drawings on the internet when I was a child.
No. 580563
>>580538I share your hatred for peaches. It's summer now and my boyfriend keeps buying peaches and encouraging me to eat them because they're soooooo fresh and juicy. Blegh.
I also hate watermelon.
No. 580579
File: 1594114165191.jpg (28.45 KB, 598x446, EUEIMxAWsAASJUH.jpg)
>>573699ik that feel anon :< lost 60 lbs, then gained 40 back in the last few months. i wanna cry bc everyday i hate my body
No. 580588
File: 1594116825882.jpg (6.74 KB, 320x265, download (4).jpg)
>>580538>>580563Have you tried nectarines? They're basically a peach with smooth skin.
No. 580817
i wish Usagi Kou thread was more active, feels real good to compare myself to her as we're the same age and i used to be into cosplay too. sad cope i know.
>>580812it's really hard to get a stark realisation like you did with a disorder like yours anon. i root for you! i hope you'll find the happy, long medium between having everything revolve around your body and your looks and controlling them and being an unhealthy slob. come enjoy eating good nourishing food and moving around in ways that are fun to you.
No. 581033
File: 1594184341844.jpg (50.31 KB, 710x703, 99qtey9yao751.jpg)
I've been contemplating infidelity in my relationship for some time now. I never thought I'd be the type to do that, i think cheating is disgusting, but he's physically abused me and basically ignores me 99% of the time that he's not being a simpering loser to the extent where my socialization stems exclusively from my group of friends. I want somebody to want me, but I don't have the guts to leave. Sucks.
No. 581044
File: 1594185487875.jpg (82.86 KB, 728x902, 1592340826455.jpg)
>>581036Love, unfortunately
Men say they're never loved unconditionally and I wish that was true, if I was less soft hearted I'd have bounced years ago. We don't talk much, but I nurture him a lot and I think he'd do some severely dumb shit if I left.
I'm only rarted in this very particular department i swear
No. 581047
File: 1594185973702.jpg (35.19 KB, 611x601, kdavp9tlwrx41.jpg)
>>581045Entirely agreed, I've known I should have broken up with this clown for a cool couple of years. Also technically been in therapy too. Self awareness really isn't enough, we are both clowns.
>>581046Hopefully quar 2.0 hypes me up enough to pull the
trigger just as well as you two ladies do. I'll figure something out- it's just nice to have someone else tell you what's what sometimes. Thank you!
No. 581085
>>581068Contrary to what society is telling you, you don't need to live with your partner unless you have a family with kids of course. I lived with my past partners and it sucked, i've been dating my bf for 3 years now, we both got our own places, no intention to live together long term ever and it's perfect. We see each other every weekend (it was every day before covid because we work in the same office), so it's not like we dont like each other company, we just know well enough we prefer to be independent.
You can totally take this route too anon, if it works for both you and your bf.
No. 581098
File: 1594202439132.jpg (17.44 KB, 259x259, Ea-AhFtXgAMWzYJ.jpg)
ok this is absolutely disgusting
> be me 2 years ago
> in LDR
> notice my vagina is super itchy everyday, think nothing of it
> notice white cream when wiping after i pee but think i'm ovulating
> bf and i get on video call and start being horny
> finger myself and lick my fingers on call for him
> google why i'm itchy and notice i have a yeast infection
so yeah. i cringe every time i hear talk of yeast infections. can't believe i saw the lumps and still put my fingers in my mouth. i thought you could only get a yeast infection from someone else or not being clean. turns out i was wearing terrible underwear.
No. 581110
Once I came into my internship place when I was all fucked up with the flu (due to some paperwork deadline I needed the head to sign) and had pinkeye and a badly infected insect bite. I came in and everyone looked at me like I was a monster. On top of that, I used something that makes contact with your eye, didn't wipe it and next time I was in the staff member I looked up to looked at me and she had pinkeye. I got 2 passive aggressive comments about the fact I shouldn't be there and should go home (which I know), then someone when I was better was like "ya know, if you have an eye infection you should wipe the areas your eye comes in contact with". This was when I was fully better and obvioulsy knew this, I was mortified.
IDK I guess I just thought about how my research would be ruined unless I took literally 5 minutes to do an upkeep thing, so figured I might as well. I also had the drive to "prove" that I realy was sick because I'd been off for around 10 days at that point. I also dropped a phone in the bathtub when I had a bad flu and just watched the bubbles rise to the top and took like a minute to take it out after staring at it, then took my bath and THEN tried to dry the phone lmao. So I think I'm dumb AF when I have the flu, I swear I'm not usually that stupid.
Anyway, I think retardation caused by flu and up until then a work culture of "oh if you're sick just tell us, but you'll definitely be judged for being lazy, possibly faking it and will financially lose out, on top of possibly be dismissed" is the reason.
Whenever someone says "if someone's sick they should not fucking go into work" I'm filled with shame because of that time. It was dumb, and I'm sorry. I apologised and acknowledged it was dumb to some coworkers but even 2 years on it still triggers me.
No. 581404
File: 1594244179980.jpg (27.01 KB, 399x399, ProJared.jpg)
I've sent and received nudes from ProJared
I wish I was joking
No. 581410
>>581331if he's confirmed marfan and you feel ready for a "break up", you should be open about it with him.
don't feel bad, not all women have this phobia so he's not doomed and will be able to find someone right for him, even if it hurts.
>>581404now girl…
No. 581418
>>581331I know a girl who has this and even gave birth to a son who was also born with it. She had a c-section and wasn't conscious for it. I think she is on the extreme end of it. She is in a wheel Chair and uses crutches, needs constant hospital visits. Also her son had a lot of complications already due to Marfan syndrome. despite being in canada, all the hospital stays, the hotel rooms put her and her husband in debt. The son has to have open heart surgery at one point in his life due to Marfan. She'll make posts on instagram about how she almost died or something, she's had at least 5 of these so far within the last year.
side bar- does he have a
victim complex about? the girl I was talking about has a massive
victim complex lol
anyways it appears to be a lot to take on, anon. You never know where life will take you medically but I'm pretty sure if he has marfan syndrome, he has a 50% chance of passing it on to your kids, if you chose to have any with him.
No. 581426
File: 1594246287628.jpeg (7.3 KB, 246x205, images.jpeg)
>>581409>>581417I know I know
I needed to vent that aspect of myself
I actually find him really attractive he is 100% my type
Also I'm not going to put any of his nudes online since it's consensual and I'm not that trashy of a person….I hope
and also the fact that Hoelly is an insane bint that probably lurks all through lolcow to find us weird girls who'd fuck Jared.
No. 581437
>>581418He has no
victim complex whatsoever - at least he hasn't given any indication of having one yet.
He's super tall and loves it, had no hesitation to take his shirt off, and stays active, especially outdoors. He's confident and comfortable with himself which I think is a sexy quality. He's the whole package… except for Marfans.
>i feel like such an asshole and i hate itAs for the kids thing, I'm intrigued about that because I am terrified of the thought of being pregnant and giving birth, so that would solve that issue - we'd adopt.
But again, we're only 7 dates in so I don't wanna start thinking about kids just yet.
No. 581448
>>581443>it's to make sure that Batshit Hoelly doesn't go nuclearThat's the fun part though.
I doubt she'd leak nudes, she's obsessed with being uwu kind and that's low even for her. And surely she knows? Like, that's what he's been doing all along, they got together via cheating after all. And if she doesn't know, she deserves to because she was arrogant enough to think a guy who cheated with her wouldn't cheat on her.
No. 581458
>>581436>It's been going on for a while and still goingWhat's wrong with you?
>>581443>I have some form of moralsCould've fooled us.
>I can see that bitch leaking peoples photos and harassing anyone Jared has been sending his schlong to.Kek. Why do you still send him nudes then?
No. 581469
File: 1594252841743.gif (4.26 MB, 480x480, ..gif)
>>581458Never said I was a saint or anything there's just some lines I will not cross
Everyone is different you y'know
As for why I'm still at it I suppose it's a weird self esteem boost I guess shit that happend in my past may have affected me worse than I thought
and before you ask no I wasn't touched as a child
or I just had a huge gulp of the Dumb Bitch Juice
I did not expect this confession to blow up
No. 581481
>>581469anon, don't jump head-first into a shark tank with drama like that. it will not be rosy.
you're not a bad person for exchanging nudes with this trash imho but you should def evaluate this relationship because it's disgraceful and it's not great to associate with trash and feed their ego. I'm sure you can find a better candidate of your type.
Unless the drama is what draws you in …
No. 581490
File: 1594257033441.gif (774.28 KB, 640x640, fsfef.gif)
>>581481I haven't really read through this whole thread yet I just thought I'd throw my hat into the ring
Kinda needed to vent somewhere
There's gotta some worse confession than mine
I'm not a person who wants drama in their life I already had enough of that thrust upon me years ago by people I try to lead a more stable existence
No. 581491
>>581443
>I can see that bitch leaking peoples photos and harassing anyone Jared has been sending his schlong to.Hoelly would be the one in the wrong if she did that, anon.
Besides, she has
already tarnished her track-record - so enough people will doubt her if she started doing that…
No. 581505
>>581490I’d like to believe this because it would be hilarious that karma was biting hoelly in the ass.
The least you could do is post a time stamped conversation to prove this is a recent and ongoing thing.
He’d have to publicly shoot himself in the foot to come after you for this.
If he is still exchanging nudes with people and it comes out he might actually face some consequences.
No. 581526
>>581490Not judging you on your confession. Liking weird looking guys isn't that uncommon. But anons are interested because this is literal milk and the thread's been dry for a while.
Without revealing your identity or his nudes, if you can prove it actually happened at all, that would be pretty milky
No. 581562
>>581526Yeah, you shouldnt post the nudes. If he has half a braincell left, he's sending unique pics to all his pic pals (im sure youre not the only one) and even if you censor the photo he could track you and sue you. I would like to see his carreer ruined, but not the life of a rando ho.
Can i ask how it started? Was it before the whole scandal or after?
No. 581579
File: 1594274608677.jpeg (22.89 KB, 480x386, EMGS3P1XsAEaBXC.jpeg)
you better post thos pro jared nudes you coward
No. 581594
File: 1594277933310.jpg (21.54 KB, 538x433, redbob.jpg)
propedo anon please be real. please send proof. i want to see the meltdown so bad
No. 581855
>>581842Saaame. Mine are over sized sweaters and hoodies, only if I'm paranoid a neighbor can see me through the window
I just want zero pressure on my chest and it's just amazing to let that skin breath, especially now in summer where sweat is an issue.
No. 581886
File: 1594333336892.jpg (51.09 KB, 640x640, negative xp.jpg)
I like Negative XP's music. I'm not even particularly ashamed to be honest
No. 581902
>>581874Same actually, mine are very perky as well
That and it's recommended you not wear a bra when you sleep anyway.
All I hear is freedom and healthy chest skin in this thread now
Let the angels sing
No. 581972
File: 1594350451845.jpg (12.62 KB, 183x224, e156ba70f6080d05a3e7a2a291aa27…)
My sexual identity is confusing to me but I guess I'm hetero after all. The closeted celebrities thread made me realise it. It's wishful thinking for me that I'm bi or even bicurious. I think I romanticise it and sexualise it because I have a complicated relationship with femininity and my mum. But it only produced rambles on the internet and some fruitless swiping on dating apps. Never confused anyone else with my confusion or lead anyone on. That's that on that
No. 581981
>>581889This feels more like a quote from Riverdale rather than Suicide Squad lmao.
>>581905>>581907>>581910Thanks anons, I've been doing some more research and I think I'll start doing bladder exercises tonight. I tried the "stopping urination mid stream" thing and realized my pelvic floor might be a little weak. Idk why tho.
>>581966Tbh the bed-wetting isn't the main problem, but I'll definitely keep in mind to get up as soon as a see a dream toilet. Thank you anon!
No. 581987
>>581956It's okay anon, I purge too. Sometimes we fuck up.
Might want to throw the whole boyfriend away though.
No. 581992
>>581978idk for sure. maybe the critical back and forth discussion and guessing made me question and feel more. something I found alarming was the performative, fake queerness (is that a slur? I'm tired) from Harry Styles and Ezra Miller.
and I used to fall for the
Taylor Swift is closeted meme because she is so bland and it would make her more mysterious/interesting lmfao (awful, I know).
I just got a feeling.
No. 582039
>>581443So can it be assumed that Hoelly knows your identity and could fuck up your life if she leaked your nudes?
You definitely seem dickwhipped but your disdain for holly seems like a little more than catty jealousy. Does jared trash talk her to you before asking you to emotionally heal him with nudes?
No. 582218
File: 1594402889634.jpg (276.89 KB, 1665x2048, 1572511359924.jpg)
>>582163I don't know if he's started a new Snapchat since I despise that app.
I've been sending nudes and flirting with him in dms on insta
He's gotten a little smarter though he doesn't send many photos just sends quick clips.
I'm not too sure about posting anything since I'm not sure how many others he's sending nudes to.
Also it isn't all that milky anyway since it's consensual and
I'm an adult….plus some of the messages we send each other is fairly specific stuff.
If Hoelly does browse here or his phone she could pinpoint who I am and I am not getting blasted when she goes nuclear.
No. 582229
>>582218I believe this now:
>>581813Go away anon.
No. 582289
>>582265>>582264Sam Hyde is clearly a nutjob and I doubt he treats his partners well, but I'm starting to doubt all these claims of women saying he tried to hook up with him, or actually did hook up with him. There were several in his thread on /snow/ and only a few people actually provided proof that tbh could have been photoshopped. One actually was clearly photoshopped from what I remember. Like, between shooting for world peace, his youtube channel, and everything else, where does he even find the time to engage in all these
toxic hook-ups with people who more than half the time don't even live in his area?
His fanbase is so unstable that I almost wonder if this isn't their doing, if it's not just some additional, made-up rumor in support of this image of him being a psychotic, dangerous, over-exaggerated version of himself, like with the whole thing about him being a school shooter.
Also it's pretty suspicious that we have one in anon in this thread claiming to have sent nudes to projared, and now another claiming to have had a thing with Sam Hyde a day or so later.
No. 582361
>>582264>having mutual friends with sam hydeDoesnt seem like a great idea 2bh
>>581888Any chance you could be diabetic? I ask because frequent peeing is a common symptom.
No. 582392
>>582115Your confession is good.
Maybe spirituality still has something to offer you aside from "God"? Like the universe or other religions?
No. 582451
>>582361Nah I don't have any other symptoms of diabetes. Except for thirst, but I don't drink enough water so that doesn't count.
>>581986Lol thanks anon. This post made me do that weird nose exhale laugh thing.
No. 582573
>>582538dude, having a hobby is fine. anime is fun. cartoons are fun. fuck anyone who make you feel bad for having fun. my most succesful friend is a published writer with three novels and multiple awards and she's a self proclaimed fujoshi who doesnt hide her passion for age differences and brothers fucking lol (in fiction, of course. i hope).
tl;dr have fun
No. 582586
>>582573>age differences and brothers fucking I used to read that shit on the daily lol. Last year when I started reading fanfiction again, I would skim those stories because I’m a “gud xtian gurl” but then I go back into reading them kek; though I haven’t now.
Jesus please forgive me.
No. 582931
>>580381I hate how much I can relate to this. I was doing fine until quarantine forced me to spend a lot more time with my family and no time (offline) with friends. I relapsed hard, but god I haven't loved myself this much in ages. I think my brother is starting to feel guilty since he always said I was fat in just the typical asshole little brother way and now here we are again, but my mom is seething because she's actually gained weight during this time and that's the cherry on top of all this for me.
I think the party I feel guiltiest about is that I was never huge to begin with but nothing to warrant losing this much. I'm probably just going to tell my friends I only cut out junk food and eating out and these are the results if they ask.
No. 582995
File: 1594532832530.jpeg (106.47 KB, 750x797, 7CADC07C-7D09-4CDB-A276-C2D415…)
when i die i want to die dramatically and perhaps horribly. i can't imagine any other way to die. not like i actively want to commit suicide atm. but i can see myself doing it in the future, or being on the wrong end of someone's vitriol. with my pattern of choices i can't imagine my life ending any other way
quarantine has fucked me up
No. 583006
>>582997financial struggle, people being locked in with their families constantly, people who are living alone not being able to socialize, it could drive anyone crazy. since i was already crazy to begin with and have tried numerous coping mechanisms i have managed not to relapse, but i am still not happy. mania isn't necessarily happiness, it's just a temporary rush to me now. i managed to get out when restrictions were lightening up before the second wave and now everything is closing down again. i was so happy to be back out and eventually my job which i was luckily not laid off from reopened. as of now it's still reopened but I'm afraid it'll close again
a bunch of idiots here in burgerland took their entire life savings out in cash and now we have a coin shortage. my conspiracytard and generally cuckoo mother is saying it's some kind of machination cooked up by the US government to trap people's money in banks and to "spread socialism". as if that'd ever happen under our raging retard president. the political climate right now is ridiculously
toxic and our leadership and poor handling of the pandemic makes our entire country look like more of a laughingstock. meanwhile the election is in november and it'll be during what's presumed to be covid time with two horrible candidates and having to pick between the narcissist manbaby and the dementia patient
im so sick and tired of living with lunatics and i just want to see my friends in person, many of whom are immunosuppressed. i keep thinking how healthy things could be if covid never happened. fuck this shit. i can see why so many people have thought about, contemplated and actually committed suicide during covid
No. 583007
>>583006>my conspiracytard and generally cuckoo mother is saying it's some kind of machination cooked up by the US government to trap people's money in banks and to "spread socialism"The irony. I mean, if
only the US government would switch to a system that would've handled a pandemic and organized the healthcare system far more efficiently.
In all seriousness, I'm sorry you're going through this. I haven't seen my husband (who lives in the UK) since October. We had another visit planned for March, in the same week that the US/UK travel ban was implemented. He was initially going to visit me, and now I can't visit him because he lives in an area where I'd have to catch a connecting flight in the EU, who isn't letting US travelers in (except for some exceptions which I'm trying to figure out if I qualify for.) Wishing the best for you and I hope you can safely see your friend soon, anon.
No. 583028
File: 1594541121720.jpg (44.44 KB, 720x489, 125ee9ab136362be38a2842c252f37…)
I miss RPing. And I also heavily miss my old RP Partners.
No. 583042
File: 1594544222600.jpeg (64.65 KB, 861x808, 19D0DF9F-1998-4AB1-96A7-3053A2…)
>>583038Love yourself anon
No. 583055
>>583049so you froze because of ptsd and he yelled at you for having ptsd? sounds like a great relationship you have there.
i hope that lady didn't die because of this.
No. 583072
File: 1594551881342.png (759.1 KB, 1280x607, 1593728359142.png)
Sometimes I wish I could host fun karaoke nights for old people. So they wouldn't be lonely.
My other confession: I wish I could just get married, adopt a bunch of kids, and live out on a farm somewhere out there. We can all run around, attend to the animals, and pick veggies. I hate cities, the traffic, and all the noisy nutjobs that live in them.
No. 583076
File: 1594552171746.jpg (47.38 KB, 400x400, IMG_8980.JPG)
I sorta thought I was a lesbian when I was 12 because all I was exposed to as a kid was women being sexualised, and never men. I realised a few years later I was straight
No. 583410
File: 1594600274555.png (90.98 KB, 488x387, semen.PNG)
>>583028lmao I miss being 12 and shittily RPing warrior cats on the neopets RP forum… they really should not have had an rp forum lmao I think that's where children learned about degeneracy
does anyone remember being banned for posting something about neopets but not understanding why tf you got banned
No. 583436
>>583410Omg you just unlocked a deep memory I totally forgot about. My older sister and I would RP warrior cats on Neopets. She got me into RP'ing warriors before I had even read a single one of the books lmao. I can't believe this is a thing other people did.
I just remember the Warrior series going on too long, like there was several spin-off series that were lower quality. Eventually Erin Hunt or whatever her name was made another series that was like Warriors with polar bears. I hated it.
No. 583444
>>583028I feel this on a painful level. I was a neofag like the other anons but I preferred to roleplay my neopets in anthro form.
I’ve tried to find some kind of similar roleplay situation on discord in the past few years but it’s all like… gross. I don’t want to roleplay with anyone underage and I don’t want to roleplay nsfw, so it wasn’t able to find anything.
No. 583445
>>583442omg and screenie pages! loved those stupid screenie pages
>>583444i know what you mean, anthro was the shit, altho every rp I experienced always seemed to get angsty lmao.
i feel you on trying to find an online rp group. i've been thinking about getting into online dnd because i feel like the dice rolls can kind of help you develop your character. plus at least dnd groups will generally be upfront about having no nsfw in-games. not always tho…
No. 583446
>>583410Kek you couldn't use the word analyze on my school's wifi due to this type of filter
All of my preteen role play time on neopets was spent in "goth vs preps" highschool rps. Which in hindsight taught me nothing because then I spent the next few years of my life being bullied in highschool for being a goth.
No. 583454
>>583445my lord yes. Screenies were my shit!
I remember how detailed users would make their petpages, and the more ‘established’ pages would have made adoptables of whatever species their pet was in every color. I used to beg people for customized adoptables cuz I was an annoying n00b child
No. 583467
>>583465I still skim, I barely comment there. not as much milk to see and contribute anymore
ever since i discovered /m/ and /ot/ they have been my own personal hell
No. 583662
File: 1594648952468.jpeg (Spoiler Image,21.79 KB, 720x540, A60F86B7-9DC0-48DF-BFC8-3E97CE…)
I tried anal for the first time this past weekend and I feel so disgusted with myself. I honestly never wanted to do that because I don’t see the point in it seeing as I’m not a guy and I’d like to not have a prolapsed asshole. But I do like a thumb. I guess because he was able to fit most of his thumb in there he figured he could do his dick. It didn’t hurt as bad as I thought it would i just felt like a disgusting whore afterwards. Like this guy and I aren’t even official yet I let him do something like that to me? I know I’m being dramatic but i feel like I didn’t stand in my convictions and I’m always wanting to make him feel good. It didn’t feel bad but I as a person didnt feel good. He was sweet and gentle the whole time but idk I just feel icky and like I let him have his way without me even considering myself or my feelings. I guess this is just shame lol
No. 583734
>>583709for me the problem is to speak up. You said you like the thumb right, well I'm seeing a guy and he would sometimes put a finger in my ass during vag penetration and… it wasn't painful but it wasn't pleasurable, more like annoying. A distracting feeling. And just recently I mustered up the courage to say I don't actually like it, he was like "oh sorry" and that's it. I felt stupid for not saying anything sooner. But I'm also annoyed that men use the "tricks" that worked with their previous partners without making sure the new partner enjoys it.
>>583727bipolar anons, do you want to maybe elaborate a bit how it is to live with bipolar? I think it still counts as confession
No. 583819
File: 1594668126531.gif (3.93 MB, 640x360, 1544644646.gif)
I'm -still- p good at throwing Naruto gang signs, sadly it's not a thing that comes up in casual conversation, idk it's satisfying!
Maybe one day a qt will finally ask me what them hands do
No. 583829
>>583734I have type 2 bipolar which is basically a lot more mild than type 1.
I have frequent, intense depressive episodes. They last anywhere from a few weeks up to several months. Then sometimes, I feel fine and show no symptoms at all. Then other times, I have hypomanic episodes when I feel way more energetic, outgoing and optimistic than usual.
I think the worst part for me is that I feel like, to some degree, my entire personality shifts during an episode. The way I view myself and other people changes. I find it hard to think of myself as a cohesive human being. I find it hard to trust myself. I'm completely uncapable of romantic relationships because I can fall deeply in love with someone during a hypomanic episode and then lose all interest in them during a depressive one, and the change can sometimes happen literally overnight. I'm uncontrollable and unpredictable even to myself, and I can't help it. It's exhausting.
No. 583873
>>583734Pls no red text, I am just replying and kinda confessing about my shit. This sounds like I am belittling or trying to sound tough, but I have learned to just be very strict with myself. I am lucky in a sense that I am type 2 and do not experience full mania, but I do have pretty nasty baseline of depression so it's basically just between being hypomanic and depressed is my normal. My moods are pretty much cyclical, I can kinda tell when I might get hypo, what might
trigger it and to a degree, I can avoid that but I think others might agree on the fact that even hypomania is worse than depression. First it's actually a relief, then you start feeling so fucking awful and I am not medicated atm so it's very much self control and just trying to keep that shit down on my own. For some reason, being on bc for a few months, it really lessened my dips, felt very normal but, again, at the risk of sounding like a dick, I don't know if I would be able to live completely "normal". I have been like this from such a young age, spent so much energy and time on learning to control my shit, didn't want to be the cliche that did drugs, was reckless or spent money during hypo so I would feel alien without it all. Gotta go on meds as soon as I can find a therapist, it's very tiring and alienating, feels like I am some fucked up sim. I have had friends who have pretty severe cases, they literally have jumped off roofs during mania and I always come across as someone who has their shit together, I just get more talkative sometimes even though I am absolutely exhausted from this.
No. 583943
File: 1594689002484.jpg (23.45 KB, 620x350, 8e5a1e23b5b2d97a70bf7acb01f4bc…)
In the 5th grade I was sitting next to my crush and he literally unzipped his pants and got a pencil to rub his penis and then he rubbed the pencil against my cheek
I just can't anymore…I'm not really certain why I still remember this shit
No. 584021
File: 1594704721598.jpg (34.52 KB, 750x734, fPs3nEL.jpg)
There's this girl I really like, nice and friendly overall, nothing out of place.
But she REALLY likes Yandere Simulator, it wouldn't be something important to me if she didn't always bring back the same things when talking about it "Yandere Dev is working really hard gaiz, coding is difficult, ya gaiz are just mean, Osana will be in the game soon just keep waiting!"
I don't care if she likes the game, but I legit feel tired of hearing the same thing over and over again, but I don't want to be a killjoy with her and stop her from enjoying creating her own OCs.
No. 584085
>>574234if you really wanted to you would've
start thinking about what you wanna do in life instead
No. 584189
>>584183I guess because she was could still walk straight and speak clearly
>>584186What do you mean by this? I am relatively sure she was okay, because she was fine with round 2 the morning after.
In any case, the whole experience is a bit nerve wracking, and I don't get why people do it while drunk with people they don't know well.
No. 584292
>>584287nta but seeing as your someone who goes online to put people who are already struggling down… do
you even like yourself?
No. 584479
File: 1594773206629.png (Spoiler Image,2.04 MB, 1080x1820, Screenshot_2020-07-14-19-32-02…)
>>584469https://www.tiktok.com/@reptilianspy/video/6843260700748532998Spoilered because of my shame. He looks alright out of clown makeup but I'm only attracted to the clown
No. 584497
>>584479Clown fuckers? On lolcow?
Never thought I’d see the day.
No. 584512
>>584510Nice
Anyone else who wants in is welcome, I'll make a discord
No. 584587
File: 1594790795992.jpg (63.61 KB, 600x474, 1550969900_AvpRwrO[1].jpg)
I know our roommate can hear my boyfriend and I have sex, and normally I would try my best to be quiet and respectful because I know it's so cringey but truly right now I don't care because I hate her.
She is so miserable and a genuinely horrible roommate that I don't even care anymore, she can deal with bed creaks.
No. 584591
File: 1594794958879.gif (136.8 KB, 250x250, 1406366157754.gif)
>>584587Same, anon. I don't hate her per se, but she loudly talks about all of us roommates separately behind our backs and tries to get us to dislike each other. "The vibe feels different ever since he came back from quarantine!!" I dunno Sadiyah, maybe you're the one acting like our own HOA and should actually try weed for once so you can chill the fuck out, you're only mad cause you can't claim the second floor bathroom as yours anymore.
I know when my boy comes over and we fuck that it hurts her bc she's getting cucked constantly by this guy she's been trying to date for two years. I used to be considerate, but ever since I heard her dissing me on the phone for not caring enough about the BLM stuff while I was having a silent panic attack over ATMs getting bombed around me, I've been opening up my vocal cords.
No. 584672
File: 1594811889773.jpg (168 KB, 407x547, v4-760px-Level-Up-Fast-in-Skyr…)
>>584629>face masks of social distancingsorry anon but this made me kek
No. 584889
I just saw the mushroom pic in another thread and I have a confession, I hate mushrooms but not because of their taste or anything, I hate them because they aren't plant nor animal.
I mean I can sympathize with animals because I'm an animal too, I get plants too, they're just vibing, I can stand single cell organisms even though they're disgusting but at least I know they just want to procreate, but what the hell am I supposed to make of fungi? They aren't plants, even though they look similar and don't move. They aren't animals, even though their cells are similar. Why would I eat a plate of food full of plants and animals and then make room for these intruders too? The thought just disgusts me, like eating an alien. And also they don't look pretty or whimsical, they look revolting with their amorphous shapes and they only grow in disgusting places. Yuck.
Also I would like to extend my current hatespeech to mollusca and especially to starfish. They make me sick and should not be seen as cute. Have you ever seen a video of starfish moving and feeding? I saw a video of a ton of them eating a dead sea creature, wiggling their disgusting slimy snail appendages like the freaks of nature they are. NOT cute. Alright, I'm done, you can make fun of me now.
No. 584890
File: 1594849052164.jpg (69.64 KB, 1200x732, 1200px-PlayStation-Vita-1101-F…)
I use to download and watch cartoon porn and anime porn on my PS vita when I was only 12 then my mother sold it.to this day I still don't remember deleting those videos or not oops
No. 584976
File: 1594861325167.jpg (30.9 KB, 500x385, 572.jpg)
Not in a sexual way ,but I genuinely think vaginas are really cool.
No. 584988
File: 1594864689759.png (226.89 KB, 467x433, 8DA8F809-987F-4E40-913A-2972DF…)
Tried to spice up my sexy time with a new toy, and got it stuck up my coochie for half the day.
No. 585118
File: 1594891097299.png (732.02 KB, 749x571, Screenshot_5.png)
>>584989hey anon, i get a lot of ticks all the time, i had lyme disease before. it would take a week or two for symptoms to show and you wouldn't really feel it much anyway. getting checked for it is a simple bloodtest which i'd recommend atleast once summer is over, which is what i plan on doing.
No. 585207
changed my mind instead of phentermine ill buy ritalin instead because it also kills appetite ive heard. and phentermine is kinda dangerous as far as i know and thats why its only sold to diabetics (which im not) in special cases.
problem is, im hearing ritalin is not good for bipolar people (which i actually am)? so im gonna keep this secret and take it to my grave.
>>585198 thank yoou anon. see, when you take lax it feels like youre losing weight. now, im not stupid, im aware its all water weight and will come back the next day or two. im completely aware that lax dont really make you lose weight. but its like a placebo effect. it feels like youre doing something. it makes me feel like a little clean. then i weight myself and feel a little bit better even though in the back of my head i know its all fake. i know i know, mental illness. but thats what it is. the illusion that you can actually lose weight (when you really arent).
No. 585257
>>585207ED anon I guarantee it's not worth it, I've messed up my body from years of abusing it and now I basically have to take fiber power or laxatives to have a
pain free shit. It's not worth the consequences to start doing this
No. 585289
>>585279thank you anon. i really do wish you could kill an ED.
>>585286oh thank you for sharing this. phentermine helped me the first few weeks too but i got caught by bf and had to stop taking it. but now i realize it would probably have not been sustainable. i dont think you realize how much i wish its hypothyroidism and that someone can help me, instead of just realizing "yeah youre one stupid fat fuck and all of this is your fault". i cannot wait for my results.
2018 17 bmi
2019 21 bmi
2020 31 bmi
LIKE THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING UP RIGHT?????
No. 585340
File: 1594933061289.jpeg (127.8 KB, 640x649, angry cat.jpeg)
For most of my childhood and teenagerhood, I'd only shower once a week because I thought that was normal, and it's what I've become accustomed to. Since, quarantine, I've been trying to shower more often though
No. 585469
>>585456Continue praying and asking for forgiveness if you haven’t yet, then the cancer will probably go away if it hasn’t showed up yet.
All I can say is, keep your faith strong.
No. 585676
>>585621Sometimes you get cancer for no reason at all, or because of genetics. In those cases, your choices don't matter and neither does god.
>>585469So what do you have to say to all the people who pray and pray and still get illnesses and deseases? That they didn't ask for forgiveness enough? That they didn't deserve to live? Religious people need to fuck off when it comes to this shit. I know it's probably a troll, but there are actually some people thinking like this.
Anon, I truly hope you'll be okay. See your friend, maybe don't get too shitfaced, talk to somebody if you can.
No. 585704
>>585680I don't know what you're dealing with in life but you can find all sorts of ways to break monotony without self harm via an awful man. If you don't care about life anymore or just don't want to be in control of yourself, what makes this worthy of having it? Why does this guy get to make the choice to selfishly waste you, instead of giving yourself to a good purpose? There are defenseless animals that would appreciate you better and need you more than he does.
I don't know why you're being so cruel to yourself but I hope one day you can treat yourself how you would treat a girl your age that you found crying in the toilet who was saying the same things.
No. 585737
>>585621>>585676>>585678Obviously having cancer or a terminal illness is not a punishment from God. What I meant to tell anon was to ask for forgiveness for any past sins she may have committed and to keep her faith up during her uncertainty.
Perhaps I should have been more clearer.
No. 585813
File: 1595022588966.jpg (122.07 KB, 500x707, d8ap55p-8f313510-9fe4-4865-b69…)
I'm actually getting really scared of myself. I think this belongs in the confession thread but I guess it can also go to the vent thread. I've started having this really unhealthy infatuation with some kid I went to high school with. We'd study together from time to time since we had similar class schedules and at the time I really had no attraction to him whatsoever. Only after two years after I graduated and stopped seeing him is when I all of a sudden started liking him. I'm not even friends with him on social media but I know one of his account handles and I found some stuff on him and I feel so bad. I feel like a stalker and it scares me that I've gone to those lengths. And I even found some stuff that I thought would make me hate him. He's ugly and has always been and even inside he's ugly and I still have this infatuation. I feel so disgusting for even saying this. He seems to be a closet misogynist and that grosses me out but at the same time I keep thinking of him. I'm thinking of committing suicide because I'm disgusted with myself. I just wanted to get that off my chest before I die. I want to get that ugly motherfucker out of my head.
No. 585835
File: 1595024664517.jpg (190.95 KB, 1456x1066, 16.jpg)
You could say it in the meanest way possible and I'd still agree with you because I'm actually disgusting to be so obsessive. I really need to go to therapy but it's too much money and I want to own a gun so it's not something I'm looking forward to. I think suicide really is the only way for me to stop.
No. 585844
>>585813I legitimately used to get obsessions like this but with people peripherally in my life at the time, not people I used to know. Weirdly never feel bad about it, but I am so sorry you do. I only felt jealous and envious or infatuated, and occasionally anxious that if anyone knew it'd be embarrassing.
I dated a guy for like 6 months and checked all social media feeds for his ex like 6 times a day for like 1.5 years (so it extended far past when we broke up). I made dummy accounts and talked to her as a stranger or a random number.
I had a bf who had a thing for another girl while we were together and like 2 years later I essentially stalked and harassed her too.
Deffo was having mental health problems at the time, hated myself. I didn't get therapy but its been like 2 yrs since I last did that and since then I graduated college and got a really good job and made friends. No urge to do anything like that again, but in a different place now.
I think I should have gone to therapy, if I ever am in a bad place again I could get weird obsessions again, would be helpful for someone to walk me through whatever insecurity or lack of self-confidence I think causes that. I should just start therapy proactively while I am good.
I think these thoughts and actions are a sign that you are searching for an escape or ideal situation or purpose in fantasies of other ppl who literally could do nothing for you if they were in your life in a meaningful way.
Brain chemistry and/or external events or patterns of decisions have lead you here, therapy can help. You want to stop feeling bad, give therapy a shot. When you think about suicide, sure it will stop you from feeling bad I guess but will make your entire family feel bad forever. I am sorry anon :(
No. 585857
I have made bad relationship decisions, I think bc I am greedy.
Been dating a guy 4 yrs now, his dad is worth a billion $. I grew up upper middle class, no debt, parents paid college, but was SO drawn in by his lifestyle. When we started dating I was attracted to his personality and infatuated but I was really excited about his private jets, courtside seats, and crazy houses and stuff.
The actual 4 yr relationship has been a shit show. He has been abusive, never like REALLY hit me but does everything else imaginable. It has made me angry and toxic, I have been abusive in a similar way back.
There are good phases and bad phases. He hasn't cheated but has tried to cheat, I have cheated. We've broken up and gotten back together so many times I was cool with "cheating" bc we were fighting or on a break and I was sorta like "fuck him".
Lost all my college friends to him. Idk what his think of me at this point. Spent all my time in college on this. And so embarrassed of what I have invested my life in. And I haven't built anything for myself along the way.
Broke up for awhile and started seeing a sugar daddy from SA. Got back together with bf, I have no loyalty and am shopping for my next sugar daddy. I liked it. I was given things no strings attached and treated nicely, sue me.
This sucks. I love him, I love his money, I hate him, I hate what our relationship is, I hate myself and who I am being and have become.
I used to be a really nice girl who lit up a room and wanted things for herself. Now I am really tired and ashamed of my relationship.
I'm ahead of him in life and on paper doing fine: I have my degree and a sick job. I could pack up everything and move to san francisco post pandemic and get a better job and go to a really awesome grad school..
But I don't have friends. Or real hobbies. Or a support system beyond my parents who I try and hide all the drama from. My relationship is all of my life beyond my job.
I think I can't get myself to leave bc its toxic and I'm attached to the highs and lows. Also, if I leave, I'd be committing to saying goodbye to him and his life forever. Sometimes when it is good I can reframe all this to think there is a future here and its a good idea.
I feel crazy. I know these were my choices. I did this. I picked this again and again for 4 years. I chose to not do better for myself. Tf???
Therapy, now, right?
No. 585869
>>585813>>585835Calm down, there's no need to kill yourself over some mild ass cyber obsession. Sounds like you're more occupied with the internal disgust for yourself anyway. I was a literal stalker and over the years I learned that a lot of times it has nothing to do with the marks and how much you actually like them. It's just this basal desire to feel, to obsess over
something, common in mentally ill fags who experience severe numbness.
No. 585871
>>585857This sounds like bait. But if it's true, looks like a gold digger turned into a
toxic gold diger
No. 585932
>>585871it is true. and yes I agree.
>>585874thanks for the input
No. 585945
File: 1595044780411.jpeg (47.11 KB, 622x355, 8C160A9C-D876-488A-8AC6-1B56BD…)
>>585941Same anon but I just realized this is probably why I project and think that guys are just using me for sex anyway so I might as well give them what they really want. I hate it here. But I glad I’m starting to realize things
No. 586115
File: 1595099182868.jpg (74.03 KB, 724x543, why-do-we-quit-cold-turkey-156…)
>>586104actually, I'm gonna quit
No. 586128
>>586119If it makes you uncomfortable, then you shouldn't do it, period. Would he do something that makes him uncomfortable during sex for your pleasure?
That said, I never understand what makes men think how taking it in the ass can feel even remotely good for a woman.
No. 586148
>>586119Been there. I had anal twice in the two years of dating him, purely to be nice/for his sake. He hinted constantly about wanting it again but I made it clear I wasn't making it a regular thing. He pretended to be ok with that but then in the middle of a couple of unrelated arguments he blew up at me about 'depriving him' of anal.
If he's constantly bringing it up like that, he's resenting you already.
I refuse to date any anal loving guy again. In fact any time a guy tells me he's squeamish about anal he instantly wins points with me lol.
No. 586207
>>586174AYRT, kinda similar for me! It happened to me right around the time I got off my shitty ass bc. It squashed my libido, so I didn't have sex for a long time. When I got off my bc it came back and I started to notice the sensitivity pretty soon after
>>586183Do you have low self esteem anon? I can kinda relate, when I was younger I used to get off to thoughts of my
abusive ex belittling me, making fun of me or being rough with me. Self esteem was deff the issue there. I hope you get it figured out and treat urself right anon!
❤ No. 586263
File: 1595122493741.jpg (172.85 KB, 533x400, fujitaka-kinomoto-sakuras-dad-…)
When I was a kid I would sob uncontrollably in my bathroom because he wasn't my dad (my dad was an abusive prick.) I daydreamed about it constantly for like a year. It bums me out thinking about 11 year old me being that sad.
No. 586275
File: 1595124945050.jpg (61.02 KB, 650x635, 5a8.jpg)
I'm in love with JC Denton form Deus Ex. I listen to his voice compilations before I fall asleep, I have a gallery of screenshots that I look at all the time, yesterday some man walked near me, I caught the smell of his cologne and thought "hmm JC could smell like that" and my mood was great for the rest of the day because of this. I downloaded a game model of him, but looking at it is too much for me, idk why, it's like I'm looking at something I shouldn't. I his voice is what turns me on, It's so soft and low, I wish he existed in real life so I could touch his face and listen to him talk. You'll think I'm joking but I'm dead serious.
No. 586329
File: 1595132119830.jpeg (518.15 KB, 1205x953, 26142319-274C-48BB-8EBB-C98281…)
During quarantine I’ve come up with this fantasy in my head where I’ve moved to LA, am working in the animation industry and am a well respected storyboarder/writer who falls in love with the kid of a celebrity that I think is hot but is waaaaay too old for me. It’s so cringe but if I visualize it enough then maybe it’ll happen?
No. 586330
File: 1595132147183.jpg (307.05 KB, 1920x1080, audrey-flamand-lapointe-mp1-02…)
>>586275Adam jensen could kick JC's ass
No. 586442
File: 1595164034948.jpeg (11.13 KB, 268x268, steamuserimages-a.akamaihd.net…)
>>586275lmao anon I love you.
I also had a small crush on both JC and Adam Jensen back when I played the games.
No. 586936
>>586903tbh hormonal birth control is garbage and is different for everyone. you don't really have much of an option other than just keep trying new ones until you find one that doesn't fuck you up quite as bad as the rest. otherwise
you could try non-hormonal birth control like an IUD if your insurance covers it, but those have a whole slew of side effects too and apparently it hurts like a bitch to have it put in
No. 586947
>>586903This is the reason why I don't do birth control. Out of all my female friends only one hasn't had severe symptoms, all the others have had their skin and tits ruined, had horrible mood disorders and gained weight. It's awful how stuffing our bodies with synthetic hormones has become so normalized and even expected. I was looking into getting the pill to ease my period symptoms but after hearing so many horror stories I felt enduring 2 days of pain is a better deal than constantly being depressed, having migraines and getting cystic acne with my boobs inflating and then deflating into two empty skin bags. If I was dating men I'd just force them to use a condom or get a copper-based IUD.
>>586936From what I've heard the only side-effects related to non-hormonal IUD (like the copper-based one) are the possibility of a heavier menstrual flow and how much it hurts to put in but overall it's a lot less severe than hormone based birth control.
No. 586953
>>586936Even the hormonal IUD doesn't really cause much side affects in my experience,compared to other forms of birth control.
>apparently it hurts like a bitch to have it put inI remember it not being too bad honestly. I also took Tylenol before getting it in, so maybe that helped it be less painful.
No. 586958
>>586903I've been taking Mercillon and started having migraines because of it, so my gyn changed it to Vines which is supposed to be as mild as possible when it comes to hormonal tampering and for 3 years now I had no issues with anything.
This said, I was considering changing to IUD because ofincreased risk of cardiovascular problems, but then my main reason of taking the pill was regulating my period (7-8 days long at least, always slightly irregular ~5 days +/-) because it's unpredictability and lenght has ruined enough of my plans in life, having 100% predictable and 3-4 days long period now on the pill is insane blessing I'm not ready to give up and on IUD i'd probably end up with bleeding longer than what I had before. Why being a woman is like this…
No. 586975
File: 1595241803299.jpg (117.46 KB, 798x529, 1582205190769.jpg)
I've been stalking someone's twitter whom I'm 90% sure is a farmer. It seems like an alt but I be crushing on her kek we have so many things in common that are surely not a trend around here. Well, there's no way I can slide in the DM without seeming like a total freak, I can't even follow because she has very low follower count and my alt is unhinged asf. Just keep lurking forever I guess. But ya, if you're reading this, I think you're cute and have good taste in husbandos, please don't private…
No. 587227
File: 1595287137258.jpeg (62.07 KB, 313x428, 06D49309-8C59-48FA-9DAA-DD744A…)
I come from a pretty religious family ergo I dress pretty fucking trad and am a sheltered KHV. I know this sounds like a dumb scrote fantasy but all I want is for someone to come into my life and corrupt me. It’s hard being a closet degenerate anons.
No. 587239
>>587236I like Sascha, but I feel like for several years now his schtick has pretty much exclusively targeted American conservatives. I don't watch comedians who do this anymore. It's just boring and lazy at this point.
I just wish more people had the balls to poke fun at liberals. As someone who lives in one of the bluest cities in the country, I assure you that we are absolutely fucking insufferable and deserve to have our ideals brutalized for the sake of comedy. It feels like nobody is willing to do so anymore because you risk getting blacklisted or "cancelled" by mainstream media.
Eric Andre is someone I haven't really looked into much, but he sounds promising.
>pandering entirely to alt right and mega tinfoilsIt seems like they make fun of them just as much as they pander to them, though? The latest Hyde Wars episode was very clearly mocking his white supremacist/trad-obsessed fans, and making fun of shit like chemtrails
No. 587249
>>587243Lol I've seen other anons say similar stuff usually either in these threads or the unpopular opinions one. The dudes are genuinely funny even if they're assholes. My solution to this is to just not get involved with the fanbase or try and interact with any MDE personally. I hate this dogmatic obsession society has developed with the idea that if a person has even one
pRoBlEmAtIc belief, you have to stop watching their content entirely and/or disown them if they're an acquaintance. Like ffs just be cautious and use basic common sense. It's okay to find MDE funny if you're female, just take breaks as needed and don't try and date Sam Hyde or any hardcore MDE fans.
No. 587252
>>587197If you can't bring yourself to eat meat there's a few things you can try.
>free range eggs and pasture raised dairyIf you're concerned about how the animals are cared for you can look into the standards in your country and see if their are any independent organisations that certify produce for animal welfare standards. If you have a local market there are probably small holders that sell eggs and cheese from their own animals.
>vegan/vegetarian protein powderThere's now lots of different proteins available. If you research into the nutrients and amino acids in each plant protein it should be possible to make your own blend of powders that's as a complete protein source as meat.
Also if you're drinking alcohol and not eating meat, please for your own benefit take a high strength B vitamin supplement. Chronic low levels of vitamin B in alcoholics can leave them permanently disabled.
No. 587383
I've been following a troll group on a few social media, they claim it's not trolling, but it very clear is, either way, I am… very interested on their shitposting.
Some time ago, one of them dissapeared, I thought she just got tired and decided to leave, but it wasn't that simple. Long story short, family problems and now she is in another country living a very messed up situation.
From experience with some cows, and because the whole theme of being a troll group, I though she was just making things up, but she even posted pictures and her messages are getting sad to read rather than the usual funny stuff the group did before.
I know there's a chance that it is just emotional manipulation, but even if it is, I just hope she is okay.
I can't contact her, maybe I just fell into a sad-bait, but since everyone thinks that the trolling is real, no one really cares for them outside from a few people who also came for the random stuff they did. Either way, I am hoping that nothing bad happens to her.
No. 587551
File: 1595338766474.jpg (22.49 KB, 320x480, OIP.jpg)
I'm so stupidly organised about this game I created a Word document containing about 500 unique names I can give the residents so none of them repeat because it angers me more than it should.
No. 587700
File: 1595358467762.jpg (433.89 KB, 500x281, j7u42q3.jpg)
>>587523Is there a subreddit for this kind of thing? I'm teetering towards no kids but I feel like I need first-hand spooky stories to overcome my body screaming at me to get pregnant.
No. 587703
>>587700ya its called /r/relationships
or /r/Childfree where they post a ton of reasons to be child-free
tbh a lot of them sound bitter but I guess that's the point
No. 587713
>>587538I love you. Also same. My boyfriend gives me shit about this, yet he picks his nose and just flicks his boogers wherever the fuck. Like how is that any more efficient and less gross than just eating them? Now I have to clean your crusty ass nose splats off the wall you fucking ape.
>>587551I have no idea what game this is but that sounds adorably autistic.
No. 587720
>>587523I've just been reading a mommy subreddit where I was treated to a half hour or so of reading about peoples kids projectile vomiting on every soft furnishing in their house or smearing shit all over their cots and soft toys…
I once dated a guy with a teenage son and when that 'kid' (13) came into our bedroom one morning and woke us up by projecting vomit all over the end of our bed I nearly lost my mind and walked on the spot. Can't imagine living with that threat for years on end.
The loner life is looking good
No. 587722
>>587714This is the type of sub to go to because no one is going to call anyone "bitter" for viewing these horror stories coming straight from the horse's mouth.
Many men are shit. Parenting isn't always what it's cracked up to be. And having kids objectively will make your life more difficult.
No. 587730
>>587726Makes me sad though. I have a friend who has to drive her husband to and from his job every day. She told she's done it for years. and when i asked her why, she said 'he doesnt like to drive. he's scared of it.'
I cant imagine that on top of having kids. To be fair, she likes her kids a lot but her husband is trash
No. 587758
>>587730The theme on there atm seems to be hubbys that are out of work (rona?) and getting to stay home and do nothing all day while the wife continues to do all housework and childcare.
I'm always amazed by how men can work 40 or 50 hour weeks, some in physically demanding jobs but washing a dish is too much for them? My last ex had lived alone for years before I moved in but he became allergic to housework overnight.
No. 587799
Similar to the topic of reading mom posts: I was depressed a couple years ago and during that time I was obsessed with trying to find the meaning of life, my mom telling me it's having your own family. Because of that I started observing all adults around me and damn, so many of them seem to have gotten so much unhappier after getting married and/or becoming parents, for many it's like having a child completely stops any love inbetween the couple. I genuinely think that many people secretly regret it and would be better off unmarried and childless but of course all parents are always trying to make themselves and everybody else believe that having a baby is the best thing that ever happened in their life (but their tired eyes tell the truth!). My mom too, she had so many interests and dreams when she was young and now because of my siblings and I…
It also really pisses me off when people take behind a childfree couple's back, always immediately assuming that they have health problems that stop them from becoming pregnant because the thought of somebody simply not wanting any is just too outrageous.
I love children and even plan to work with children, but I already decided to be childfree when I was around 10. So many people always tell me that I'm still young and don't have a bf and that I'm gonna change my mind later on (or that I'll regret it) but I simply know that I would be a horrible mother, I openly admit that. Why is acknowledging that seen as so bad, when the divorce rates are so high and so many people turn out to be absolutely not fit to be parents?
The regret of "maybe I should have had that/done that…" can't be as big as feeling like you can't stand it anymore but knowing that now you will have to do your best to spend all your strength and time on raising that child for 18+ years, maybe having feelings of guilt because you don't love it enough, feeling or even knowing that you don't do a good enough job…there's no reset button for being a parent, it's a decision for life but so so many people underestimate this and do it simply because that's what everybody else does too. Imo that's much more immature and dumb than not wanting to be a mom.
No. 587819
>>587726every time I go to visit my partner, I break down and clean his room. he can't put anything in the bin, or empty it, will leave clean clothes to gather dust and dog hair. cigarette ash everywhere.
he's clean otherwise but so, so messy. I have pretty bad OCD (even down to constant hand-washing) and it drives me up the wall and fucks with my allergies to the point where sleeping there is misery. and he bitches that I wont drive 40 mins to his house to hang out in filth. I have to clean the toilet/bathroom too, unless I want to walk and sit in piss.
why are men
No. 587830
>>587825>>587827my friends, I beg. I chide. I bribe. nothing works. hence why I break down and do it.
I say I didn't expect to be a single mother.
No. 587866
>>587799My dad once told me that kids aren't necessarily the most rewarding way to plan out your your life, I told my bf at the time and he made out like my dad was a monster for saying that. He turned it into my dad insulting my existance but I didn't feel that my dad said anything insulting or awful.
The funny thing is my bf had a son from a previous relationship, he saw his son two whole days a month and could barely cope with that so I think he was projecting in a way. He got drunk one night and told me that while his son was planned at the time he very much regretted having him.
No. 587990
>>587858Same, it just gets stuck in my head from time to time. The original song is neat too!
>>587974OH I loved that video!
Sent it to a couple of friends in the middle of the night, good times…
No. 588027
File: 1595399225677.jpg (334.05 KB, 1360x1136, 1567729301175.jpg)
>had several people add me on discord in the friend finding thread
>greatly enjoyed talking to all of them
>too intimidated to send them a message up front
>some I haven't talked to in months
>too nervous to break the ice and get the ball rolling again
autism autism autism autism autism autism autism autism autism
No. 588148
>>588027I'm the same, I want online friends so much and I like talking to them and constantly think about how they're doing but… I just can't always message consistently, and then this happens and I get too anxious to ever reply hhhhhhh
Just go for it anyway anon, it'll only be a second of awkwardness and mostly they'll understand, if I was your friend I would also appreciate that you eventually did reach out especially because I'm similar.
No. 588330
>>587830>>587819Anon you sound like a good woman. I want to tell you what happens to good women like you in these relationships:
1. Your man never changes.
2. When you've finally had enough, no one sympathizes that you are a good woman who invested in the wrong man. They just think you're an idiot who deserves the outcome.
Dump. Let his piss-soaked ass rot.
No. 588433
>>588416What anon? Never complained about the content kek. I like leftist YouTubers, I just mean't I don't know many that I would personally watch regularly.
My algorithm does it's job so no problem here.
No. 588533
File: 1595479376006.gif (1.98 MB, 540x405, 574c9695-fb15-46f5-97b3-fcfa0f…)
I'm morbidly obese and afraid to lose weight. For multiple reasons.
But the most terrifying reason is because I am addicted to eating food and I can see myself losing weight and then gaining everything back. That would be the biggest disappointment in my life.
I love eating and spent a good deal of my life binge eating whenever I was depressed (so, a lot) I probs have BED but I'm not in the biz of self-dx'ing.
Other reasons are loose skin (but tummy tuck can solve that), saggy tits, and I'm scared that my boyfriend will… idk…. see me as a different person and be less attracted to me?
He is NOT a feeder. It's just that we met when I was morbidly obese and I know that people look completely different when the weight is gone and I'm kinda scared of how my face'll change.
Regardless, starting Whole30 in August with my bf because I lost some weight with it when I did it back in May. Not only that but it will help me get back into cooking on the regular and eating sugar-free foods. I'm not necessarily going to cut the stuff out forever, I just really want to eat less and stop ordering deliver twice a day.
Every night I lie awake and think about this shit.
I welcome all of these physical changes if it means being able to find some cute clothes and if it means not feeling self-conscious most of the time.
Also, I have lolcow to thank for getting me into the groove again. Reading about fat ppl here made me realize what ppl really think.
No. 588537
File: 1595479895769.jpg (Spoiler Image,47.96 KB, 768x432, sheeran-chest-fb.jpg)
>>588536I can't find a single guy with a huge chest piece that isn't a fuckboi or disgusting
pic related
No. 588541
>>588534>>588535Y'all are right. I listed quite a few superficial reasons and excuses because idk, thought it'd make for a more "confession"-like post.
The truth is I'm having back pains when sitting, can't walk for more than 10 min with my back exploding in pain, haven't had my period in 2 years and my diet is so shitty that I'm pretty sure my hair growth and psoriasis is suffering.
Those are reasons that I NEED to lose weight. But I do want to lose weight for some reasons outside of my own physical health. I think not being treated as a lard-ass and not being ashamed to eat in front of other people is good for my mental health.
No. 589131
File: 1595562695135.png (120.8 KB, 241x275, D1600AAF-A2EB-4BE4-A8AD-14A33A…)
I want to Looksmaxx in every way possible short of surgery. I want to be an impossibly beautiful and insanely intimidating career gal who’s fully unattainable.
No. 590157
>>589568I know that feel, anon. I also feel the same about their clothes, they’re so pretty, I remember that when I was a kid, you either dressed up like a Disney soap opera character or like a dancer from a Britney Spears’ video, there was no in-between.
I’m glad that everything is better than before.
No. 590207
>>590175The first most important thing is to not be dehydrated, because then you probably won't be able to squirt easily. I straight up drink a glass of water beforehand just in case. Then you need to become horny, the more the better. A lot of sites will tell you that it's important to stimulate your g-spot, but honestly, if you are more into touching your clit, then go for that, it works just as fine. It's important that you go do all of this somewhere you 10000% don't mind wetting - because believe me, you really need to be comfortable the first few times. The moment you think to yourself "oh shit I hope I don't squirt on xy" is the moment your urethra will close up for good. The bathroom would be your safest bet. The last step is to edge yourself quite a bit. At this point you should probably feel your bladder is quite full. I would recommend that for the first few tries you actually stop masturbating for a bit and squeeze your pelvic muscles and see if you manage to let any fluid out. I mean, you basically have to try to piss, really. It certainly takes some willpower and concentration at first but it gets easier the more you do it, so you should soon be able to squirt without thinking about it. If you don't succeed at first don't worry, you just have to practice and see what works for you personally.
No. 590234
File: 1595714432816.jpg (60.38 KB, 640x640, b08.jpg)
I miss the Cancer Crew. I miss seeing them goofing around and do stupid shit. I wish they had made more videos. Or at least released some unused footages
No. 590237
File: 1595714647450.jpg (52.16 KB, 640x640, 1585049628377.jpg)
>>590207thank you anon, i will try your advice out tonight. i can gspot orgasm but have never squirted in my life. wanna cross it off the bucket list
No. 590241
File: 1595714980833.jpg (83.51 KB, 768x768, u1u3kvl0asl41.jpg)
>>590207thank you from another anon. ive been wanting to learn too
No. 590653
>>590631I understand you anon! My parents never taught me anything and never really bothered to be emotionally available (they're really good at controlling everything I do though, but that's another thing). Now they demand that I'm perfect at making food and other things, I'm obviously not because, again, they never taught me, and so they screech at me as soon as I make a little mistake or even if I don't do things exactly as they do it.
I also can't wait to live alone, but I'm pretty hopeless. I'm sure you'll be able to do it anon, then you'll do whatever the fuck you want without some asshole judging how you do it.
No. 590909
>>590631>I don't want to start cooking until I live on my own because I feel self-conscious around them. Oh same, I just feel like it's my parents kitchen rather than mine and I'd be a lot more comfortable learning on my own.
tbh idc about cooking at this stage. I have an unrefined palate and am happy with basic meals, I'm always counting calories so I like prepackaged foods for convenience, and I have no intention of getting married/having kids so I've only got my own tastes to worry about. I'll learn eventually I guess, but for now as long as I'm eating enough fruit/veg/protein I'm not too concerned.
No. 591075
>>591061anon same.
from age 14 to even now (i'm almost 21), i daydream at least 7 hours a day. i can function normally while doing it but it makes real life seem pretty boring.
in the AU i imagine that i'm not studying a major i hate, have a nice romantic boyfriend of 2 years and top of my class while also having many hobbies.
Sad that irl i'm an eating disordered mess.
No. 591155
I love mixed girls, but I'm from EE country and there is literally like 20 mixed girls in all of the population, plus 100-200 Kenyan students who come back to their country after graduation, and visually there is no mixed\dark skinned lesbians because of homophobia and racism of medieval levels. I think that african, latino, indian, arab, and all in between women are beautiful. I'm light as a sourcream, but I always liked darker skinned characters in cartoons and asked my parents to buy me darker barbies. Idk why it's like that. It's not a fetish, more like a normal thing to me, I honestly don't understand why beauty standards are in favor of whiteness when there is so many different nationalities and skin colours. Pls love yourself, darker girls, know that there is a slavic lesbian somewhere in the world who thinks yall are beautiful and worthy of good things
No. 591224
File: 1595863539032.jpeg (21.98 KB, 656x467, 66F11B0A-BB04-48EE-B634-B5DF37…)
>>591155thank u slav gf anon, this kind of post brings a little happiness to my mixed girl heart.
I started avoiding sunlight at all costs to be pale as possible because being a brown kid made feel awful, I would watch movies and get sad wondering why couldn’t i be pretty and have fair skin and blue eyes, my country REALLY values whiteness which made it worse.
Maybe someday I will have confidence to accept my healthy skin and cure the vitamin d deficiency i get from my attempt to be as pasty as possible.
No. 591231
>>591224Is your mom white? I notice mixed people with white mothers have a lot more racial dysphoria.
My mom was the black one and I never really payed attention to that stuff. Always loved my tan skin.
No. 591236
>>591231Yeah, and my brown dad is an alcoholic who is generally an unpleasant person.
I think in a certain way it also is a way for me to feel more distant from him, I revel in people saying I look like soo much like my mom's sister, instead of saying looking like my dad like when I was a kid.
No. 591485
>>587253>>587284Ty anons it’s definitely something I want to stop. I didn’t want to ignore the posts because it seems like a sick move but it’s also hard because I love stimulants.. but I need to do some DBT shit and not just make excuses for myself anymore so I’m not dead from having a heart attack or stroking out.
Another confession…. for too many years I’ve been maladaptive daydreaming about a man I made up in my head and an ideal version of myself and they are in a LTR and I’ll occasionally start it over and have them re-meet and date and … ugh. I have a whole other world I’ve created. So embarrassing.
No. 591562
>>591542It's normal to taste test your food as you're making it, but eating off of someone else's plate/drinking out of their cup is still weird
I guess you could make the argument that it's the same thing but idk, the thought squicks me out lol
No. 591684
File: 1595929632180.jpg (20.95 KB, 720x506, 0b8c3c3a-9d6b-4b74-a0fd-d8bb64…)
>>591672I'm both gagging and laughing
No. 591827
File: 1595950144534.jpg (22.39 KB, 330x336, IMG_5904.JPG)
I am infatuated with a fucking twitch streamer so bad. I know it's just some crush on a persona but oh god what I would give to have a fucking chance… Despite the fact it is almost impossible for several reasons.
It does not help that I was recently rejected by a guy who looks kinda similar.
No. 591838
File: 1595951001214.jpg (43.15 KB, 1024x576, Asmongold-1-1024x576.jpg)
>>591833Asmongold. Posted him in the unconventional attractions thread a while ago and it's gotten worse since. Worst hygiene known to man and yet
No. 591849
>>591827Damn I feel this. I simp the straightest twitch girls…
>>591838Yeah ok what the fuck anon we are not the same
No. 591853
>>591844Not even scared of that. Dated a guy that did the same shit of leaving drinks everywhere and wear the same shit multiple days in a row. The smell means nothing as I evolve into a simp
>>591849Lol'd. Anon I'm so sorry for doing this to you.
No. 591884
File: 1595954583522.png (6.06 MB, 2224x1668, 11EA62E0-CEBD-49D3-AFCB-F6E409…)
I kind of gave up on building a career in arts because I have zero tolerance for bullshit and kissing dirty asses. I know it’s the same in any other field, but artistic fields are particularly full of assholes.
No. 591943
>>591599Yeah but every time I try to change it feels off and I usually fall back into it, pretty sure this is my destiny
I'm not complaining or anything, but that's my confession
No. 592410
>>591772Those are rookie numbers anon need like 5 cups in 2 hours.
Also I confess I love drinks way more than solid food. I'm always picking up new tea, coffee, juice, smoothie, soda in bottles or cans from stores. If I'm out of town I try whatever local nonalcoholic beverages are at the stores.
No. 592433
>>592405Same anon
>writing rouge when they mean rogue>"I'm gonna loose my mind">"I didn't mean too">"me to"English is my 3rd language and I still know how to write these correctly ffs.
On that same note, when people who speak my 2nd language as their native say "jugurtti" and call ice cream "jätski". Cringe.
No. 592434
>>592405The one I hate the most is "I could
of done" instead of
have, it really pisses me off everytime I see it, and English is not even my first language.
No. 593063
>>593053Can't doctors induce puberty or something like that? Or is that something false I heard?
Also, do you really believe yourself to be a pedo when you admit you find adults (male and female) attractive? It's one thing to have a type (like non-threatening, skinny, younger than you etc) and another to be attracted to pre-pubescent kids.
I was molested as a kid, but it had the total opposite of the effect you had, as in, I'm weirdly sexually attracted to older, violent men. But there's another part of me which seems to be attracted to pretty, handsome dudes my age, which I sorta believe to be what I actually like instead of like, as a result of csa if that makes any sense?
I wish you the best of luck in any case anon, maybe look into therapy if you aren't already with someone specializing in trauma.
No. 593068
>>593063You will never know how healing it is to read such a reply. I've never been attracted to actual pre-pubescent children but, you know, I’ve been attracted to (legal in my country) minors a few years ago, like 17 years old when I was 20. It was a very specific case, the boy (girl ? he was pre-everything MtF and didn’t pass, I’m also kind of a terf, sorry, he didn’t help as he was the anime cat girl uwu type) was three years younger but very sexually agressive and he harassed me for nudes and that kind of stuff. I categorically refused to see his pictures and wanted to act more as an older sister than as a romantic partner. I helped him with applying for college or for jobs, and didn’t care for him sexually ? I am so bad at telling men I’m not into them in that way. I now feel like younger, « non threatening » boys are just as bad (worse, really) as manly men my age.
The last straw was this very cute 18 year old boy who told me he tried to rape his 10 year old cousin when he was 15. I dropped him like a hot potato.
I am already on medication to help my puberty start … I’ve been for years, still no periods. Just a little body hair and breast growth. I was afraid to attract actual pedos if I dated men my age but, as you see, even the cute younger ones can be actual child molestors. I never saw a shrink for that specific issue, as I would be afraid of his reaction.
No. 593077
>>593068 i think you're just hyper-aware of age differences because of your trauma but none of the things you said sound "pedo". like finding a 17 year old at age 20 is not that weird, plus you said you're not "developed" so it's even less weird. it's totally normal to like 18 year olds at age 22, it would start getting in the "pedo-ish" category if you were like 28.
don't worry anon, you're not a pedo. it's just your trauma scaring you. nothing wrong with liking boy-ish guys especially at your age.
No. 593081
>>593063>I never went through normal puberty (I never menstruated, my chest is flat, the whole deal) so I’m even more vulnerable.Why? Do you have an hormonal disorder that stunted your growth? Are you short by any chance?
I'm asking because if that's the case then I want to tell you that I know what it's like from personal experience, even though I was treated for it and now I'm just shorter and skinnier than average as a result. You don't sound like a pedo to me, more like someone traumatized who tries to cope with her trauma while still being kinda reasonable.
>>593063>Can't doctors induce puberty or something like that? Or is that something false I heard?They can in theory but it's a case by case scenario, whether it's gonna work or not will depend on why a child can't start puberty. If they don't produce enough hormones then they can get hormonal treatments, if they produce enough hormones but their bodies can't "recognize" the hormones then it's not going to work. And if someone gets diagnosed too late when their bone plates (no idea how to translate this, sorry) are fused by the time they're teenagers then they're not going to get their growth spurt like everyone else.
No. 593095
>>593068Ok I misread. Honestly anon I don’t think you should feel bad for finding 17 year olds attractive. The teen years are a visual gradient that can vary from individual to individual but by and large 17 year olds don’t look
that different from men in their early 20s. Late teens to mid 20s is a mishmash where it is difficult to tell how old a given person is just from their age. I’ve seen 16 year olds that look way older because they have beards and belly fat. And I’ve seen really baby faced 25 year olds. Maybe you just like the skinny body type that’s more common with younger guys and that’s ok, there are plenty of adult men like that. Maybe you beat yourself up over being attracted to someone you thought was 17 when they were actually 24 and youngish looks and you never found out.
No. 593110
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>>590261>>590274I never really liked Chad that much
but hearing that he hates Ethan makes me like him kek
Anyway.. my confession is that I have a massive crush on Maxmoefoe still. It makes me kinda sad that I'll never have a chance.
No. 593117
>>590274I hate Chad because I mainly watch Cold Ones to see max but then Chad has to always talk about how his random tinder date from lastnight blew him in the back of an uber
Constantly reminding everyone that despite being fat he still gets women and then fucks and chucks them. The guy's gross.
No. 593153
I sometimes dream of rehabilitating Luna against her will.
I'd have a special room I'd lock her in after kidnapping her. It would be comfy but with the bare minimum to twarth her hoarder tendancies. The furniture would be in black/white with maybe some red/green here and there so it's not too depressing. Everything vacuumed and dusted at least two time a week.
I'd detox her at first for ~3 weeks monitoring her while providing healthy meals and media outlets (vetted : nothing about drugs, suicide, mental illness and ~TrAgIc~ fates) while she goes through the worst of it. Lurch would permanently removed of the picture, obviously.
After detox, we'd start with mandatory shower every day. Make sure she knows the basics about how to care for herself. I'd cut her fried hair and die it a natural color. Absolutely no make up or fake nails allowed for now.
Then I'd get her books (art books, some fiction but nothing she could think as AeStEtHiCs). No internet or phone whatsoever. Nothing pink. No plushies. No religion trinkets. No pill boxes.
I'd get her some bland clothes (again no pink, no sweats, no slip on, nothing frilly) in her size : casual jeans, tee shirts and sneakers she'd be comfy and look normal in instead or her lunatic self.
I'd make her go (always accompanied) to therapy (I think one on one would be better than group for Luna, she's the type to enjoy and romanticize horror stories from other addicts) twice or more a week. Make sure she get treated for the BPD, the drug addiction and the hoarding/shoplifting (not sure she does it for the thrill of thieving or because she enjoy having new shit, either way, it's something that needs fixing). I'd advise the doctor about her incredibly unhealthy romanticization of drugs and the fact that she has made her whole life/identity about being ~junkie~.
I'd make sure she does her exercice books daily and get what they're teaching. I'd get her all the art supplies she wants (except those damn Sanrio stickers and only ONE planner) so she has something to do and get her to try new hobbies to see if she can fill that gigantic void the drugs has left in her.
Once she's completely detoxed, had a good amount of therapy, is looking better and able to grasp that the ~xanny life~ is pathetic, as a reward we would go for some damn make up lessons.
Meanwhile I'd teach her more life skills that seems to elude her like doing laundry, cleaning her after herself, cook healthy meals, stay away from sketchy people…
Then move her away from where she lives so she can start a new life away from her druggy accointances hoping she can cope with working a minimum wage job while improving her art. Crossing fingers she would now only use SM to promote her drawings.
No. 594068
>>594048I'm so sorry for your loss, anon.
As someone who has attempted suicide, I can only tell you that it takes many years of trauma, abuse, and/or constant build-up of small slights, that finally lead to one situation that pushes us over, in most cases, that lead us to wanting to take our life. Maybe in rare cases, what you could have said to him might have "saved his life," by
triggering something in him, but the reality is, many things lead up to that point out of your control. You alone would not be able to pull him out of that mindset, not even therapists can. It often takes years of therapy and medication, and even then… You could have also said something you regretted if you had the chance, and would be blaming yourself also. The reality is you had no bearing over his choice, even though you wish you had the opportunity to try, and I'm sorry you did not have that opportunity. I realize it must be frustrating or even gut wrenching.
No. 594114
File: 1596233313650.jpg (106.45 KB, 1280x880, life-and-times-of-xqc-part-2.j…)
>>591838>>591833Same. I have the biggest crush on xqc. My family recently moved 30m away from his house too, too bad I'm overseas b/c I would literally camp skateboard rinks until I see him.
No. 594333
>>594280Ikr? Baking is such a nice distraction. I always had a sweet tooth but I think I also prefer to munch on savory things
>>594312This shit can be addicting, nowadays I bake vegan recipes for cupcakes and brownies and I feel less guilty lmao
No. 594529
File: 1596302770889.jpeg (54.56 KB, 374x299, 02F167E9-B957-4E76-8749-B88E19…)
Lowkey highkey wish I could have a small farmers anachan group. I just wanna be softly unhealthy with some gals, unpestered by underaged lolcows…
No. 594566
>>594549honestly, same.
I think that's my main qualm about female oriented spaces. Most don't allow for straying from the mainstream opinion. I don't want it to be pol tier either just not accepting everything that is served as right and the only correct opinion.
On the other hand, I really hate most right wing men and a lot of right wing women seem to be misogynistic and/or pickmes so I don't know how to feel about that.
No. 594576
>>594569Sureee, me wanting to make choices that effect myself personally is exactly the same as anons delusion about being “not like other /pol/tards”
Btw I see plenty of non-mainstream opinions about BLM and Islam here that are well received, let’s not pretend like lolcow is some leftist hub. Remember that racebaiting was thinly veiled excuse to ban misandry and tranny hate here. It‘s allowed otherwise lol
No. 594579
File: 1596307184174.jpg (26.74 KB, 232x296, 1503204094636.jpg)
My boyfriend is wonderful but if I had it my way, I wouldn't be in a relationship at all. I had a horrible childhood and my ability to be intimate and trust romantic partners is virtually zero. I'm in love with him but I don't want to be and not a day goes by that I don't find some reason to actively push him away. Then I just end up hating myself for being a dick to him for no reason. It's a horrible cycle. I've never been in a relationship where my mental health didn't plummet the minute I realized I was in love with them. I wish I were strong enough to just not get involved with anybody at all, but there's still that tiny part of me that wants to be loved.
No. 594621
>>594563Yes, it's my confession. I just said your post vaguely reminded me because you wanted to get away from the under age and have your own space.
>>594566Totally agree.
>>594591You might get screeched at on /pol/, but at least you don't get straight up banned for wrongthink. You can be as far as you want on 4chan, but even remotely bringing up Hollywood pedos on a place like Reddit or Twitter gives you the goddamn boot.