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>lost virginity at 15 to an emotionally abusive drug addict
>they broke up after about a year, she's was so embarrassed about the whole thing so she claimed to be a 'born again virgin' and just tells everyone she never had sex
>begins dating long time friend of hers, G, telling him too that she's a virgin, and proceeds to take his virginity.
>they break up. Try to remain friends but petty drama ensues.
>eventually tell him the truth about 6 months after the fact and it ruins they're friendship beyond repair. She blames him for it, telling him he's shutting for care if she was a virgin or not
>tries to get with his best friend, S, afterwards, almost getting him to almost take her to prom before Going puts his foot down and makes S stop being friends with her
>to get back at S for cancelling their prom date last minute leaving her without a date and a ride there, she decided to blackmail him for $5 that he owed her. Having go threw all of their past messages and screenshotting everything that would effectively ruin his friendship with G.
>kept said screen shots in her email for a year 'just in case'
>claimed to be a lesbian for approx. 3 years, during which she went full dyke. Cutting her hair off, stopped shaving, and wearing men's clothing
>gets new job, suddenly lusting after mediocre looking, man child incel, named J
>changes whole look to attract him, starts shaving and wearing makeup again
>gets invited to another co-workers Halloween party about a month after starting job. Attends, gets sloppy drunk and makes out with J on the bathroom floor, after he threw up ofc
>also at said party, threw up on the hosts carpet and porch
>starts seeing J after party. Takes his virginity about 2 weeks in
>J cheats on her and eventually leaves her for a stereotypical e girl. She pretends to be okay about the whole thing while frequently making petty, passive aggressive comments about him at work, both to him and to all their now mutual friends
>J is out right dickish to her, coworkers frequently take her side.
>After an he yelled at her for asking him to do his job at work she began having a hostile attitude towards him.
>he threatens to quit because of it, leading to Her to have major sperg out at work, yelling at him, essentially telling him he's a bitch if he quits over her and that if he was nice to her she would be nice to him
>neither get fired, for who knows why but continue to have very loud and public issues with one another
>they begin acting civilly again. She decides to message him telling him that she still has feeling for him and that he really did hurt her. Does this repeatedly until he has to block her online.
>she now sports a more e girlish aesthetic, she claims it's because she's always liked it but shes probably skin walking J's (now ex) gf
>reconnected with S, becomes fwb with him.
>constantly upset bc he will goes days without talking to her and with repeatedly flake on her. She frequently does the same towards him as well
>crying constantly bc 'nobody cares about her'
>starts self harming again
>blocked her parents on social media bc her mom wouldn't come over and watch a movie with her
>got an std from S bc despite knowing he is having sex with multiple people she can't be fucked to use protection.
>still friends with him
>constantly unadding him on social media to see if he notices. He does so she stays friends with him
>probably going to wind up having sex with him again
I do plan on going to therapy and seeking help once everything opens back up. I realize most of my behavior is fucked up
You can be aware that you're in the wrong but cover it up or defend yourself in a fake it till you make it way (to make naive people think you're right).
Or you can be aware that you're wrong in objective sense but right by your own standards (tho I think this goes a bit in cluster b territory).
If i'm making a long/"important" post, i quickly open up shrib.com which immediately makes a link to an auto-saving personal notepad for me to type it out and look at it. Maybe you could use that.>>561130
That's exactly it. It's the difference between a conman-type cow who relies on people not knowing any better and someone putting their hands up and admitting their faults in a take-it-or-leave-it manner. Neither are healthy, let's not kid ourselves, but you're very right
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>>561201>has a death fetish–read about a cow here getting off to radiation poisoning, ended up finding it hot too
I have my own fair share of trash fetishes but what the fuck lmao. Good summary, I respect your honesty and self-awareness.
I think you're less of a cow and more a of a.. victim
? You don't sound cowish to me anon, just deeply troubled and in a rough situation. I hope you can recover and get on track. ❤
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>Part of the sad broken bbydoll Tumblr/IG community since before Nicole Dollanganger's prime
>Ironically enough, is blocked by Nicole for having directed Tumblr users to her thread years ago
>Mutuals with ND's orbiters
>Romanticized the shit out of her childhood abuse and poverty for years in due in part of being in the trauma blogs community – often overlaps with the sad bbydoll pale uwu cemeteries and emaciated girls side of Tumblr
>Was terrified of being posted when an anon wanted to make a trauma blogs general thread a while back
>Has kept up a tag for her creep ex that did a number on her years ago
>>>Was a classic BPDfag over him back in the day, still can be from time to time
>Relates too much to semi-cowish authors of traumaporn books such as My Dark Vanessa and Wasted
>Vents too often about ED, really should keep that shit on MPA or EDC
>Dropped out of college after only a year – would go back if she could do math to save her life and wasn't too proud to ask for a tutor
>Used to want to be a lawyer or at least a paralegal, now directionless and working the same retail job since she was 16
>Can not maintain friendships to save her life, most friends are really just close with her girlfriend and tolerate her
>Was much more likable before her granddad died a few months back, has now become a depressed shut-in who barely talks to her roommate/coworker or girlfriend
>Incredibly awkward when talking to people now, brain working faster than mouth and spitting out the wrong words
>Should really find another therapist after her previous one quit practicing ~1 month after her dad passed and only told her so with one more session left – was doing a lot better back then
>Probably should try meds, terrified to because her main problem is BPD and that apparently can't be medicated
>Been using this site for years, proud of having been the vendetta anon to post Erin despite having secretly having a popular agere blog
>Moved in March, too depressed to really unpack or put things away
>Still dresses kinda goth/emo despite turning 22 in a couple weeks
>>561436>listens to brokencyde unironically
Worst offense itt.
kek anon, this made me laugh out loud
Honestly guys being a cow is not that fun, hopelessly insecure cowtippers message you on your SM for even the most minor offenses telling you to kill yourself/get raped. Who cares if it's on an imageboard but it sucks getting it over SM.
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welcome to my trainweck of a life pls no bully
>dealing with an abusive, narcissistic mother through her entire childhood puts her in a defensive mood 24/7
>never ever talks with people and always ghosts their messages, will freak out if someone does the same to her
>thinks she's worthy of ignoring people but if they ignore her then they're a bunch of cunts
>is actually quite good at holding a conversation but talks too much garbage which weirds people out so she sticks to shutting the fuck up
>very fucking secretive with everything in her life
>might have a little victim complex (thanks mom)
>also might have a superiority complex (again, thanks mom)
>used to call herself god, godlike, boost her ego around and say how she's better than everyone
>someone once called her out on this and told her she's a piece of shit and no einstein 2.0
>proceeded to have a breakdown
>tfw insecure as fuck and refuses to say stuff like that anymore but still has a big ego
>hanging around in toxic places during her teen years made her identify as a fakeboi for 3-4 years
>will never confess it but it was one of the best times of her life
>really fucked up ideas and fetishes
>had a boyfriend who used to cut his name into her thighs and put cigarettes out on them
>she let him because she used to romanticize abuse and think it's uwu so cute uwu
>has also a lot of old self harm scars all over her body all thanks to running a traumacore account when she was around 15-17
>would actively cut herself open for some aesthetic pictures
>never forgot to tag those pictures with #broken #traumacore #depression #lanadelrey #follow4follow
>is very ashamed of her scars now
>used to think she has bpd and also had a "fp"
>would obsess over him and fight with his nasty friends
>this one friend of his was into incest and would constantly ask him to roleplay incest with her, insist to be his "sister"
>tfw she has bad childhood memories related to incest
>ended up fighting with her when she found out about her kink and made that incest bitch cry
>"fp" ended up leaving her because of the drama she caused
>got a girlfriend
>gf cheated on her
>smoked weed once and acted like she did heroin
>acts like she's all tough but she's just all bark no bite
>cannot even argue with anyone because it reminds her of her childhood
>hypocritical as fuck
>will bash on people for doing (X) thing but she will also do the same
>hateboner for all the people who have wronged her
>will constantly stalk them and check on their blogs for whatever reason she doesn't even know
>extremely creepy and stalkerish when she finds the perfect person to obsess over
>once stalked this one tumblr mutual for half a year, saved all their blog links on web.archive, kept an entire folder dedicated to things she found about them, saved all their selfies, even had a file with all their social media and other accounts, managed to find out where they work and where they exactly live
>hasn't ever talked to the said mutual and the obsession is now gone so she ended up deleting everything
>feels no shame or regret over that
>feels no shame or regret over anything she does
>insists that she's no weeb but she is
>used to bash on fujos during her fakeboi phase but is now one herself
>will immediately assume that someone is copying her/the way she talks or types all thanks to this one bitch who copied her entire personality once
>is now paranoid as fuck
>insists that she hates people who fake an ED and complain about being fat while not working on their weight but she's the complete same
>but for some reason thinks she's different than them
>tfw isn't even fat but is your good old ana-chan (thanks mom)
>now she barely has any social media, doesn't talk to anyone, has zero online or IRL friends, just spends the majority of her time reading yaoi and going on imageboards to bask in the great feeling of anonymity
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I'm so glad to have grown up on forums, habbo hotel and shitty imageboards instead of social media, like you wouldn't believe.
>ditched all her friends and their friend's friends in middleschool after some of them went through her bag without permission and read her edgy notebook/ventbook, is DEEPLY AFFECTED by it
>spent more of her last two years in senior high school skipping school than attending it
>only to take the same 5-something busrides and listen to music everytime she skipped
>prude, can't be sexual without feeling like shit because her mother had a meltdown at her once for watching porn as a kid and exposed that to the whole family
>catfished every online contact when being asked for pictures, had an internet bf who ended up being a catfishing girl too
>had another online bf who grows up to be a milder racist edgelord with an incel mindset, dumped her and made fun of her & racist jokes on her cost after she confessed to catfishing "to scare her away", still clinged to him and revived contact with him again and again for 7 years
>~traumatic csa twama~ that's isn't actually rape or abuse, but doctors and nurses mishandeling her when she needed to have her pee medically removed because dumbass 6yo her thought it was a good idea to hold it in as long as possible several times over the span of a week for some reason - which is now all a funny joke to her family "how it took 5 people to hold her down" and probably just a giant joke in general
>only close encounters irl with men post-childhood ended in her kicking them in the balls and apologizing for days after it, her getting hugged out of nowhere and autistically freezing up & tearing up or her yelling that she likes pussy (literally) to persistent flirting strangers
>spent most of her life denying she's a lesbian
>only ever had any remotely intimate experiences with women and enjoyed it, is indifferent to male bodies and was never able to imagine herself as a man's wife without cringing, self-inserts into men with great gfs and more
>wannarexic throughout her teens, and - surprise, surprise - ends up with actual anorexic tendencies, hate for eating and an even worse feeling for her body than before
>made an ana websites with ~OC content~ and reviews of shitty recipes, tips and mono diets, then fully deleted it when it became too popular because she couldn't handle to get in contact with more than 2 people
>made a pathetic suicide attempt at 15, stole a pack of regular sleeping pills from her best friend's mom, grinded them with the end of an umbrella and put them into her bologna, immediately puked it out afterwards and secretly visited a doctor during her schooltime because she was scared shitless she caused longtime damage to her intestines after a night of heavy googling
>became vegetarian for 2 years in hopes it gains her the right to prepare her own food again, ends up getting fed by mommy anyway and gaining 30 pounds
>used to be an EpIc hAxXoR because she was so butthurt and petty about paypal making shit decisions with her account and keeping her money, that she kept making fake accounts and used real ones to bring those fake accs into heavy negative balances on Paypal's cost
>shaved her whole head because she got fed up with her real hair and wore badly maintained lace wigs and normal wigs for about a year
>talks to her cats 24/7 and barely any actual humans
>hugs her dress form when in need of physical affection
>owns dolls, "jokingly" calls them her children but talks to them when alone and gets anxious when someone else wants to hold and handle them
>25yo virgin, still to chicken to get close to anyone
>still gets nervous breakdowns over eating one tiny thing too much and over feeling full, despite realising, after it passed, how stupid that is
>took a whole day to make a track out of a recording of her mother screaming at her "to cope", ends up deleting it anyway out of shame
>stalks her old friends and manages to find some of them despite them deleting and changing their handles 2-3 times, yet still too chicken to get in contact again
>doesn't get a therapist because she's afraid to get forced into medication that makes her fat or makes her dependent on it, afraid of ending up with bad therapists and afraid of having to invite her mother into it
>constantly shits on tumblr, twitter and facebook users on imageboards
>visits all 3 websites occasionally herself
>hardcore ~experimental~ j-fashion weeb, even wears it to sleep and is probably too autistic to admit she looks like an overgrown clown in it
>watches rotting food videos to calm down
>can't go a day without whining about how much she wants to move out and away from her controlling family, is still too poor for it, only recently got a barely above minimum wage job and probably has debt entries that will hinder her from getting a flat anyway
>only leaves her room for work or when she feels fat
>makes horrid 2deep4u music and drawings
To be fair, I only rarely really judge the cows I follow for obvious reasons.
naruhina and sasusaku. i ship sasunaru >>561330>>561452>>561506>>561518
you guys are cool
cool is the least thing i'd call myself
more like: absolutely patheticsasunaru is the best i am glad people like you exist
Definitely sasusaku, 2014 was truly the peak.
Also fucking sasunaru, I spent literally all of middle school and sophomore year of highschool on that ship. I would literally write paragraphs about how their love was true love on Tumblr. (I also had a ask blog on Tumblr with horrendous art.
finally a thread for me
>NEET and highschool dropout
>blames failure on mysterious mental health issues
>is actually a lazy spoiled brat who is comfortable leeching off her parents
>romanticizes trailer lifestyle because she doesn't want to find a stable job and because she knows she couldn't ever buy a house with her spending habits
>hardly has any friends because few can tolerate someone that egotistical and annoying
>showers the only friends she has with gifts to condition them to like her, still ends up ghosting them because durr she's so superior and better than everyone
>thinks she's the smartest person on the planet because she watched philosophy crash course
>proper art cow/ocfag à la holly brown, the difference being holly sometimes finishes her projects
>super condescending to other artfags despite her art being dogshit
>scoffs at furry artists, draws torture porn
>wastes all money on deviantart adoptables
>created accounts pretending to steal her own art for negative attention and validation that her art isn't complete trash
>thought she was akshually a man because she doesn't like taking selfies
>went from being an ugly fakeboi to an ugly femcel in record two months
>was mad @ parents for not letting her buy a binder, doesn't even have titties
>stalked a chadlite fuckboy because he was the the first guy that acknowledged her existence and she decided they were soulmates, also because he looked like her animu hasubando
>scammed two people for $30 to buy a birthday present for said fuckboy
>never gave the present, never tried to return the money
>snuck creep shots of him that she hasn't deleted to this day
>fuckboy inevitably ghosted her after realizing she's too embarrassing to fuck, she continued to pester him for a month and had a bunch of retarted mental breakdowns over a relationship that never existed
>doesn't admit she's straight despite never having relationships with girls and thirsting after fictional men
>skinwalks fuckboy by attempting to copy his interests, vernacular, first language and musical taste
>envies lesbians, skinwalks several to a lesser extent
>still obsessed with homestuck and undertale but will call you immature for liking anime
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>obsessed with weebshit and 2d boys
>goes on rants for hours about how great japan is
>cried while reading japanese history textbook 10 times and read it aloud to her friends
>almost all her friends treat her like retarded child that needs to be protected and looked after 24/7
>only friends with other girls, no male friends
>only into short men, spergs about how gross tall men are all the time
>says she hates men, spergs out about men, openly states all girls should become lesbians, has a manlet fiancé anyway
>says misandrist shit to her fiancé but flips out if he reacts negatively
>doesn't initiate most outings with her friends
>still gets salty and passive-aggressive if she isn't invited every time
>unironically idenitified as being shotacon while she was 15 because ~it was cool~
>gets passive-aggressive when people don't work as fast as she does
>has been lying about knowing how to cook for 9 years, and that she eats a v healthy diet
>in reality doesn't know how to fry an egg and the reason she is not fat is that she never makes food, and only eats one takeout meal every day
>literally female version of angry worthless weeb gamer fedora tipping 4channer
>gets incredibly angry when people don't share her anime taste, can spend 10 hours arguing with people on /a/ or anitwitter
>banned on /a/ more times than she can count, on all her devices for being a sperg
>saved 12k for leg shortening surgery because ~5'8 girls can't be kawaii and Japanese uwu~
>screams out Japanese phrases randomly
>only gets along with elderly ladies at work, intentionally ignores and is being passive-aggressive towards anyone else
>keeps putting off wedding because she is afraid of her fiancé finding out her weird autistic stimming habits
>unironically obsessed with cats
>has bpd ex she only started dating because he was insanely good-looking
>even though she knew he is a giant fuck-up, she still went surprised pikachu when he started treatening suicide, killing animals, cutting himself in front of her, etc.
>still kinda thinks about him because he looked like a 10/10 2d guy
Man, I feel like a such a fucking sperg. Basically everyone itt suffered unimaginable traumas, or at least their behaviour is somewhat excusable. Meanwhile I'm just a piece of shit and lolcow with no excuses lol.
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This is so fucking funny, good job OP.
>constantly overshares about everything in her life to strangers on the internet
>currently leeching off of her weeb boyfriend
>fatty-chan who believes in "muh genetics" meme and has the same mentality as Amberlynn Reid
>makes little to no fucking effort to find a job
>makes fun of cosplayers, youtubers, celebrities etc. when she looks like pic related
>won't make a fucking effort to style her hair or apply makeup and half the time is seen walking around with no bra on (yuck!)
>gets into online fights daily
>whinges about her living situation but doesn't take any steps to changing it
>is always right no matter what evidence she's presented with, obviously
>tries to appear intelligent when she's as dumb as a bag of rocks
>100% lurks here, hi aggressive-fatty-neet-chan!
I feel so attacked right now
I'm basically the same anon
>my weeb bf calls me Moo
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>Depressed suburban white girl.
>"xD quirky" personality that's probably due to undiagnosed ADHD.
>Executive dysfunction due to probable undiagnosed ADHD. Can barely set up appointments or do her own taxes without a meltdown.
>Extreme resentment towards her parents for emotional abuse throughout childhood, still lives with them and happily takes their money at 24.
>Almost dropped out of college multiple times. Only reason she didn't was because her parents had enough money to keep her going.
>Art degree from a state school.
>Extremely strong opinions and reactions to literally almost everything. Keeps most to herself because she's afraid of being called out.
>Makes fun of consoomers despite being a huge consoomer herself.
>Writes fanfiction and draws fanart all the time. Current fanfic is longer than any paper she wrote in college.
>Technically did not graduate after 6 years of college due to a 1 credit class and is making it up this summer.
>Used to have absolute breakdowns when boys rejected her. Would pine over certain guys for months afterwards.
>Used male validation as a basis for her self esteem.
>Spent literal MONTHS heartbroken over a NEET guy who didn't shower.
>Spent an entire summer not showering and sleeping 17 hours a day when a guy left her for another girl.
>Despite having a new boyfriend, still has feelings for an ex who broke her heart twice and who is also a witch now.
>Cares about new boyfriend but is too afraid to admit that they don't have a future together.
>Despises having to bend over backwards for customers at her retail job but does it anyways because of overcompensation from trying to please parents in childhood.
>Simultaneously incredibly passive aggressive towards customers because everything bugs her.
>Talks about herself all the time; only way she can relate to people's problems is if she talks about her own experiences.
>Former Disney Girl™
>Extremely horny for random youtubers and 80's celebrities.
>Almost certain she's bi but has never done anything with a girl.
>Wants to get into the animation industry but has no idea how to form a portfolio, or any original ideas for that matter.
>Maladaptive daydreamer that spends a majority of her time imagining scenarios that will never happen.
>Typing all of this out at work because fuck it.
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>post yfw you're seeing yourself in all these posts
>nearly 25-year-old kissless virgin with no friends
>gained 90lbs, always fails diets, still blames it on muh ed from 9 years ago instead of nighly binge eating
>ages like Venus, nearly as bad hygiene, no sleep
>super lazy, still not finished university, lives at her parents, they pay for nearly everything
>self-diagnosed anxiety, depression, ocd and possibly autism
>whines about family (or other stuff) online but is too much of a chicken to confront them irl
>went from sjw fakeboi admirer to anti-sjw borderline racist pickme, to radfem, to nothing (or a bit of everything?) all while already above 20
>always copies others, even friends, no opinions of her own
>constantly fights with people on the internet but takes it way too personally
>got banned from extremely niche discord, has rather popular tumblr account and all other people with that same interest hate her too (because she just can't shut up)
>shittalks things she secretly likes, e.g. kpop or weeb stuff despite being a fushoji herself, also massive yellow fever
>triggered by girls who are shorter, thinner, younger looking, with smaller tits than her
>hates neets because she's jealous that they have boyfriends and get to stay at home
>loves when she gets carded because obsessed with youth + can't stop talking about the ~5 times a man has hit on her, because that's at least some male attention
>posts on lc 24/7, made many threads, used to frequently samefag (while making the same esl mistakes) to try and get people to agree with her because she had no idea what an ip address is
Basically like an obnoxious teen boy with an idenity crisis in a bitter fat hag body. The only progress I made is to stop watching porn and no longer browsing 4chan and kf. And my only positive points are that I'm at least trying to get an education/job, plus me being so ugly stopped me from getting in relationships and getting hurt by men.
I'm one of those cows you just absolutely hate but also there's not much milk because nothing exciting happens in my life. Sometimes I'm paranoid that one day mods just decide to doxx me because I'm so doddamn annoying but the only thing you could find about me on social media is pictures from 3+ years ago in which old friends tagged me on facebook. I guess (or hope) that there's still much, much worse people on here lol
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>average looking with good skin, but knows how to put on makeup for own face and can dress own body properly
>17k followers on ig for my selfies and cosplays, it does make me feel validated and pretty
>also shitty fanfic writer, digital artist, and dancer but I know that’s not why ppl follow me
>secretly not secretly desperate for love and understanding
>went through a ~toxic~ breakup
>an ig orbiter picks up on this (through my many vague sadposts which I made to get attention) and reaches out to me
>my ig orbiter for years, he was always supportive and engaging with my posts and stories so I sorta got to know him
>handsome in the same way most Amerimutt men are, broad shoulders and straight nose, pretty hazel eye colour
>shit posture, sense of style, and hygiene though
>I end up crushing for him and sending him nudes because he was ~so nice and understanding~
>I used to browse r9k so I was aware but skeptical of the whole “soyboy feminist orbiters are just attempting to blend in with women to get laid” belief
>turns out to be all true
>he wasn’t fat or had a neckbeard, but
>he secretly a huge misogynist, thought women needed to be put in their place and that lesbians just needed “the right man”
>yet was also a cuckhold. I can’t make this shit up
>didn’t take long for the nice guy act to end
>bLoCkEd AnD deleeeted
>the orbiter who got away
>kinda heartbroken, resumes vague sadposting
>also highly anxious
>nearly failed uni a few times for my in-school panic attacks
>happens nearly every semester and I NEVER learn
Alright I'm not usually someone who shares their life online but for milk's sake I'll tell you how it happened
This friend is a co-host of a youtube channel centered on a certain hobbie. I watched this channel for a while, and they were my favorite commentator. As a background, something very personal happened in my life (a convoluted heartbreak) and that made me go a bit nuts quite frankly. Can't say I am the most mentally stable person.
Then, in their channel, they uploaded a video. I saw this person's appearance for the first time, and I felt something weird for them. Like, I wanted to know more about them, and I felt something else entirely that I wasn't sure what it was.
Turned out to be I had a big fucking crush on someone from youtube lol. And of course they didn't know me.
So, I searched them out, they had a link on their personal channel that gave me more links, and then one of those links gave me a full name. I came across many accounts. And soon enough I learned… quite a lot about them. Including their irl job. God, I was really fucking creepy lol.
I obsessed about them for a while. I have never, ever obsessed over anyone this hard in my life.
Then, I took it even further.
I contacted them on social media. Out of the blue. Just like that. They do receive a lot of random messages, but I took more steps.
In the span of some months, after some talking, we became friends. Then good friends. Then we got really personal. Then we got… very, very personal. I hope you understand what I'm implying.
In the end, now I we have become very close friends who appreciate each other a lot, and I know more about them than before, but in a healthy way. Youtubers are people too after all, and we happen to have a lot of things in common. They accepted me into their life because I genuinely care about them and what they have to say always. I'm not just a spectator, but someone part of their life, and for them I'm super grateful.
…Silver lining? We actually want to meet each other irl. And do stuff. They might visit me after covid shit is over.
tl;dr: creepy obsessive stalker convinces a youtuber to be friends and then get sexual together
I wish I could meet you anon, this is like I could’ve written it— minus the parents giving me money part kek
Also, great thread OP
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>mfw I start describing myself and realize that my shitty life isn't even shitty in an interesting way.
It's not milky to have a mental illness but a lot of cow behavior is extremely exacerbated by not being all there. A lot of my most milky moments were when I was extremely unwell.
Also you gotta set the stage a little when anonymously presenting yourself lol.
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let the milk flow (this is my first time telling this story, kind of therapeutic)
both my parents work, making it easy to assess their schedule. i could trace their phones so i was able to determine when they were on their way home. it allowed me to sneak him in and out, even if i wasn't there. i also had control over the security system and cameras so i was able to redirect them during entry/exit. my folks never came into my room and didn't question me bringing snacks and stuff in there since i did that anyway.
this goes without saying that it was (is) ~traumatic~ because i had been groomed so much that i did what i did. should have known better, and i largely choose to forget it happened because it's too disturbing in retrospect
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>depending on parents at age 32
>several skin deseases left untreated for yrs because too ashamed to see professional
>takes twice as long for degree because no immediate gratification = no motivation to study
>ghosted therapist because upcoming topics tOo hAwD rAtHeR nOt cHaNgE aNyThInG
>flat looks like a hoarder's place
>sometimes smells like one, too because can't be fucked to take out trash and take care of mould
>fell madly in love and the guy even showed interest - refused him as she is unworthy of him because see above
>thinks of him everyday for yrs but instead of working on herself…
>sleeps in and surfs the internetz for at least 4 hrs/day
>obsessed with fat lolcows because WeLLL aT LeAsT aaaiii AM nOt fAt uwu
>all because of mUh MeNtAlS obviously, no trauma, just sooper vulnerable sensitive snowflake
>is a poorfag now, but if you dig far enough back, you'll find out she was born pretty middle class, and that her granddad was a small town tobacco industry richfag.
>it's easier to name relatives who don't have drug and alcohol problems.
>CSA survivor, but it happened so young, the only reason she knows is because her older brother could remember the same happening to him.
>dad literally necked himself.
>dropped out of high school.
>been on anti-depressants since she was 10.
>was one of the "smelly kids" in middle school because she'd go without showering for so long.
>lives like a hoarder, always has.
>made out with a 40 year old man at 19.
>can count how many times she's had sex on one hand.
>been in two relationships, they imploded because both sides were retarded. The fact that she is terrible at intimacy and affection probably doesn't help.
>busted for weed in early 20s, did a year probation.
>partially wants to work, to have money coming in, but partially doesn't want to work because shitposting on the internet all day is more fun.
>has used actual emotionally manipulative behavior on people in fandoms who are almost ten years younger than her.
>stalked multiple personal cows, usually because something about them both pissed her off and made her jealous.
>probably partially contributed to at least one Discord fandom group shutting down.
>follows people for political shit on Twitter, but is half the time too afraid to speak up with them, feels appropriately guilty and cowardly.
>looks at cartoon porn and doesn't care who knows it.
>mental breakdown in 2019.
>became 70 pounds overweight for a while.
>miraculously hasn't become an alcoholic, not for lack of trying.
>lives with an alcoholic relative, who is a constant asshole and never pays bills like they should.
>no drivers license, can't drive worth a shit.
>older than she'd like to admit because of all this shit.
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>had a very cringy anti feminist reactionary phase not too long ago
>used to run a short-lived proana blog
>posted in a fujoshit community and drew bara traced from porn images
>sensitive as hell and gets triggered easily
>manipulated her ex boyfriend because she wanted to larp as a bad bitch to hide the fact that she's actually a loser with few friends
>shit social skills, awkward as hell around people which results in embarrassing moments all over
>unstable, yells like an autistic demon at her parents when triggered
>used to have really bad hygiene and showered rarely
>facetunes herself to the point of catfishing
Moo moo my sisters
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>deranged half-asian too autistic for r/hapas
>self-hating southeast asian who larps as east asian to be more attractive
>obsessed with race and talks about how much she hates white people despite being half white
>overshared TMI details about dating and having sex older men while a minor
>fucked over 40 different guys by her 18th birthday
>posts nudes for free on reddit for easy validation
>brags about being hot and desirable but is actually a friendless loser irl
>had an edgelord redpilled phase
>used to eat rocks and sticks and garbage in middle school for attention
>rarely seen leaving the house she's going to hook up with some guy
>spends almost the entire day on the internet
>proana phase, lost 3kg and got bored
>totally faked her ed even though shes still obsessed with calories and starves herself when she even comes close to having a normal bmi
>still makes fun of people on the proana thread on /snow/
>has no personality, acts the same as the person she is currently hanging out with
>self hating half black
>had a "yeah im based and redpilled trad wife" phase
>lurks /r9k/ and /pol/
>4 diagnosed disorders, completely in denial over the fact that these rule her life
>currently trying to get a diagnosis for the fifth one
>is 100% certain that everyone in her life is a paid actor
>the people on the television talk to her sometimes
>sees everything as a sign
>has had meltdowns over the fact that someone installed a camera in her room and is currently watching her through her phone camera
>convinced that there is a secret site on the dark web where people make fun of other people, they found her while hacking webcams and she has become their lolcow because of all the retarded shit she does
>signed a petition against pornhub, was a porn addicted coomer when they were 12 and still is to this day
>made several friends and lost them all in the span of a month because she is to scared to talk to them
>still depressed about the fact that she only has 4 friends
>had a personal cow
>thought about making a snow thread, would never actually do it because shes so paranoid about posting anything online
>her phone breaks and she absolutely looses her shit, 100% convinced that this is a sign and starts praying for a solid 30 minutes for forgiveness and never looks at said cows account again
>has a friend who is a charicature of a "toxic" friend, expects everyone to bend over backwards for her but will refuse to help anybody else, sometimes even making fun of their problems
>"no you dont understand shes really nice she occasionally acts mean but shes a really good friend! im pretty sure im the problem here you guys shes really nice ok!!!"
>acts insanely similair to said friend, just doesnt say it out loud
>had dysphoria since she was 11
>wears binder every day
>addicted to caffeine and shopping, buys the most useless shit on impulse and is sure this new thing will fix all of her problems
>has done absolutely nothing during the the lockdown, except getting, no joke, nine 1s because she makes no assignments and doesnt attend class
>embarassingly long list of fetishes
>unironically likes cringy tumblr traumacore shit
>grew up extremely privelleged, has both parents and has no trauma whatsoever
>except that time she got molested but that totally doesnt count because it only happend twice and she barely remembers it
>obsessed with shit made for kids, constantly buys games that are made for literal toddlers and will play them for hours
>has no talent or hobbies because she drops any new interest instantly
>sometimes wants to be a lolcow so atleast someone can get enjoyment from her existence
>wants to be a trad housewaifu with 3 kids and a loving husband, knows this will never become a reality because all of her kids will turn out just as fucked as her
>to socially retarded to even post stuff on anonymous boards
shes so retarded lol
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i stayed with a man who psychologically tortured me, gaslit me with his ex girlfriend, accepted nudes from this ex girlfriend, and then, when it finally all fell apart, published a series of humiliating posts on facebook detailing all my mistakes (mistakes meaning crying and clinging to him when he said mean sutff eg stupid, annoying, not good enough) and also said that i was obsessed with and jealous of his ex girlfriend, for mentioning that i found it unacceptable that she sent him ass pics and pictures of them kissing from 2016.
ironically, his ex also started making her own posts about how im a crazy BPD abuser etc etc and sent me the following message on facebook before blocking me. (this was in response to an apology)
anyway, im a fuckin retard and i have never suffered so much in my life. i wish i had the courage to kill myself
I'm sorry anon, but don't kill yourself. Take the time to recover and learn from this mistake, the good part is you'll never have to suffer this emotional rollercoaster again and now he's some other bitch's problem.
Tbh this girl sounds like she's in denial about what a shitty guy he is.>The way Josh treats you isn't normal for him.
So she admits he treated you abhorrently but you're supposed to dismiss it because he treated her so well? Stupid bitch.>physical violence like smashing your phone and calling the cops on you is what you get for him thinking you're being emotionally manipulative!
Cope for a violent man, this woman is a pickme.>When I was 15 I was violent too!
See? They're a match made it heaven, let them massacre each other. Don't even believe her saying that they never argued and fought because I can guarantee that's 100% bullshit.
But anyways anon, you do need to leave these people and never look back. Block them if you have to.
This message is such an enormous telling on herself for me. I didn't realise it at the time but her perception of reality is really, really just… amazing.
The third quote in>>565582
is from my dad. I tried running my own instance of YaCy and building my own index, which unsurprisingly gives a lot of relevant results to my interests. Obvious bias as to how I'm steering the web crawler; but it's also shocking how much authority a search engine operator has and how much can be gamed. For example, if I tweaked the search engine to prefer older pages, I get stuff like documentation, but if I tweaked it to prefer new pages, I get magazines and mainstream news.
But it's really not great to run on my old toaster and I should get a proper server rack for it.
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How software looks is essentially the lowest on my list of priorities when it comes to stuff like memory usage and performance honestly. Before I could buy own pc components turning off Windows 7's Aero glass meant frame rate improvements, so my choices just look pragmatic. I'm not a fan of the flat color + easter egg colored icons + rounded rectangles look.
My shit is so basic I just put a wallpaper and set transparency.
Is KF bf really that nice anon? Every guy i've seen posting here sounds absolutely nuts lol.
Im glad you lucked out.
I assume she probably never found one that properly fit her hence not knowing her size
And if you say you know your size I assume you probably incorrectly sized yourself
Haha. The only reason I say closeted is I don’t know how to explore my feelings and have only dated men. I can’t decide whether I want to be her or fuck her, you know what I mean?
Already been there with weed, sometimes I smoke it but it makes me too anxious and paranoid, I end up thinking about my cat and crying hoping he’s happy and worrying about if he’s bored or stressed and I can’t tell. I’d rather just do stims and drink. No sex drive for like 3 years and I’m almost 30.
I’ll add more to keep contributing>angry lefty >constantly justifies posting on lolcow while simultaneously thinking it’s really hurtful and harmful>addicted to celebrity drama>took a bunch of money out of a CD and am trying to sneakily replenish it>former bulimic>never contacts friends but always worries if they hate her for it >yells at birds>had an abortion and will never tell >has egotistical fantasies about being influential dogooder >would rather post on lolcow than make moms birthday card>squanders art degree and still has parents helping with loans
It's feels very ironic when lefties hangs in there and laugh at cows just as much as us.
Like it's actually funny to me to see them trying to reconcile their views with the shit they're actually doing.
Love you lefty anons but you're real hypocrites that don't actually like their safe spaces and want to be catty bitches as much as anyone. Just admit it, you'll feel better.
I mean with the absolute state of the left I don't even identify with that side of politics at this point. I don't feel bad about what I post on this site honestly.
The most ironic thing about lolcow are all the radfem-types who put women as a whole on a pedestal yet trash women who don't fit into their agenda at the same time.
Bitch I'm >>566989
and are u me
I wish the best for you
>>567443>currently laid off and considering new career paths. accepting all suggestions from anons
It's a shame that your company didn't offer you the opportunity to switch to the ATO or reservations. At least it would have kept you in your industry unless you work for a certain airline that filed for bankruptcy recently.
I was gonna say how you seem attractive enough to make a killing working at a bar or some kind of hostess industry in the meantime, but covid lel. Sorry anon I got nothing, but good luck to you.
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>>be that quiet nerdy girl growing up
>>have a emo and scene phase in high school
>>things are ok for awhile, until they're not
>>father gets murdered when you are 17 by some dumb bitch after your parents separate
>>as an older teen you start to remember bits and pieces of being raped as a child
>>decide to move far away from it all
>>end up addicted to painkillers and dating an abusive man just before you leave
>>he follows you to your new city and makes sure you don't get clean
>>drop out of college because its impossible to go to school and stay high
>>scam thousands out of the government to afford your junkie lifestyle
>>steal from anyone and everyone when you have the opportunity
>>make your mom fund your heroin habit without her knowing
>>OD on xanax laced with fentanyl in public, wake up in the hospital many hours later
>>break in to your pill dealers apartment when they dont answer
>>they are asleep and you decide to steal their pills
>>they wake up when someone else knocks and you almost get caught
>>get arrested in a different incident along with a different drug dealer just as theyre handing the pills to you
>>"i-i dont have a doctor, i neeeed them!"
>>the cops actually decide to let you go with no charge and your money back
>>cue yourself going to buy more drugs as soon as they release you lol
>>steal a quarter from an ex dealer when hes fucked up and justify it to yourself by thinking he didnt need any more drugs anyway, he was out of his mind on benzoes
>>get into benzoes for a few months yourself
>>cue uncontrollable stealing from every store you go into
>>at one store, you try to walk out with your jacket so stuffed with clothes that they are just falling out
>>get caught, friend ends up paying for everything
>>dabble in other drugs, such as crack, coke, ghb
>>wipe out on your first time doing ghb and scare friend who desperately tries to wake you
>>she calls 911 & they place an oxygen mask on you to wake you up
>>proceed to try to make out with the emt as you think youre in a porno until you see their uniforms and slowly realize what happened…
>>i was CONFUSED ok?
>>scam banks by cashing old cheques
>>generally just be a shit
>>years go by like this, occasionally hopping from city to city but always coming back
its been a crazy few years for me, but thankfully im clean now! its been almost 2 years since i quit the "lifestyle" i had and the daily use of heroin. im not "sober" in the traditional sense but that was never my goal anyway. ill use coke or mdma for a night out a few times a year and i drink alcohol daily… like 2 beers a day. i dont regret anything, the scope of experiences ive had, the fun along the way, the lessons learned were worth it.
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>11 years old and became depressed/anxious
>skipped most classes
>would have meltdown if i was forced to go to school
>realize i am bi
>over eat constantly because of mental illness
>mom doesnt care about me
>get very bad grades
>doesnt like showering
>only spends time playing stupid video games
>still very obese (221 lbs)
>still have acne but not as bad
>diagnosed with pcos
>her mom makes her feel awful everyday
>has plans how to move out but wont be able to until she finishes her education
>wants to starve herself to lose weight
>have an extreme dislike of people and thinks everyone has malicious intent
>maldaptive day dreams
>has had no gf or bf
>each time she was close to having one she was either used or rejected
>despite it all she's still trying to have a better life
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she looks like pic related
>Pretended to be retarded in middle school and was so universally mocked for it she had to switch schools
>In high school tried to be Normal, but people still talked about the insane behavior she did in middle school
>Extremely ugly (very bad bone structure) thought she could fix it by learning makeup, wasted lots of time and money trying to act like a stacy
>Senior year of high school had a crush on a freshman cheerleader girl who she sat next to in class. Creepy age gap (18 vs 14), however her crush was very nice to her and said she was the funniest person ever, waved to her from the school bus one time
>actually started thinking maybe she isn't a loser, like a loser
>Goes off to college, visits old HS friend. Friend's little sister turns out to be friends with old crush, who is also over to hang out
>"omg (Crush's name) it's been so long how are you?"
>crush deadass cannot remember who the hell she is, even after she tries to jog her memory
>wants to kill herself out of embarrassment
>Eventually loses contact with all old HS friends while simultaneously making no new friends in college, like actually zero. Now is about to graduate and never made a single friend. Only people she can talk to for fun are her parents
>Can't get interested in any mainstream shows, movies, or music, so cannot talk to people about anything
>Listens exclusively to vocaloid, nothing else. In fact, refuses to listen to anything else after a bad experience getting obsessed with a real singer in high school who turned out to be a very bad dude
>Can't tell anyone about music taste. Has to pretend she doesn't like any music.
>Thinks she's a genius, like actually, despite not being able to do chem and misreading almost every social cue thrown at her
>Has been told by random people her whole life she gives off weird vibes, but cannot figure out what is causing said vibes.
>despite being a huge weirdo herself, she hates other weirdos. Despises other weirdos. Will not interact with any weirdos. Looks down on everyone she meets and wonders why she has no friends.
I am so sorry, anon. Fuck that woman. I am dealing with the same thing as you, in some ways, I got molested as a child for some years by an older man with a good reputation in the neighbourhood and every man I've felt I've allowed to be close to me has been so similiar to him and also I leave them way too soon. It sucks feeling like I'll never have a healthy relationship.
Stay strong anon, ily
Oh god molested by sister gang is literal hell. Started when I was 8… I legitimately was terrified of intimacy with women after for so long, couldn't believe we were both gay, thought it was half my fault for ages…
She's dating somebody a lot like me now, too. It's rough out here, anon, but all we can really do is try to look past similarities between our abusers and partners- if it's of some comfort, people tend to be cut from the same cloth pretty often without actually being the same as each other- and look for someone who's just genuinely kind, loving and cares about our agency first and foremost. The thing that your abuser will always lack is the ability to truly give a shit about others' well being, so if you pick up someone who can, you should be ok, even if it's gross to think of passing similarities between them. Things like being taller or dark haired or having a certain type of nose are surface level, but really having a good heart is most important.
You have a heart too, so don't be afraid to listen to it and b gentle with yourself. It's easier to let kindness and intimacy in if you've primed yourself with a little love first… Even if you can't fully love yourself, cut yourself a break and try to understand the way you are more thoroughly. I had a lot of trouble with intimacy, feeling emotions, letting myself be open until I introspected for a long while, and now I've been loved for almost 5 years now and understand my own heart like the back of my hand. It really helps for both guiding your actions/thoughts on a good path and protecting you from people who want to exploit your hurt.
Sorry about the longpost, but I've been in those exact shoes before and, well… You're not a piece of shit, it's normal-ish, natural, and there are ways out into a better self image! Can't change the past, but the future is yours to make what you want… just give yourself the kindness you were denied and things will be better someday.
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Wew…here goes. I'm gonna try and keep it milky, not bio
>Ex-emo/scene girl turned goth
>Went through hardcore political extremist phases, starting with alt-right and going into fascism then Ted K eco-fascism
>Banned off twitter through multiple accounts, in the midst of people being doxxed left and right, joined comicsgate and a few other loser movements
>Got found out by abusive ex when he posted all the pages she liked on her social media
>Had to go dark for a year, delete everything
>Came back to join an edgy discord, got into feud with the mods and lost friends
>ducked out of using social media as a way to meet people, sticks with IRL friends now
>Still has edgy beliefs, but it's more terf and radfem now
Was gonna say you sound like someone I'd enjoy being pals with if we knew each other irl, but then read the last point.
Lack of weirdo solidarity is truly the only negative. Maybe the age gap thing, too.
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>is an autist
>her only "romantic" relationship was online
>fat and ugly
>hates other fat women
>hates the "fat acceptance" movement (aka landwhales making excuses to stay fat)
>Thinks JK Rowling is right and publicly supports her on twitter
>bosses everyone around
>super meticulous about how things should be done and if they aren't done that way throws a fit
>gets angry easily
>sees every argument like a court case or something she must win
>is super distrustful of others even of people she has known for years
>hates everyone around her
>big sister left so she is now in charge of the family business
>use to be a cutter
>use to be bulimic
>attempted suicide a few times (going to the ER three times)
>parents sent her to the most expensive schools ended up studying some shit degree
>2 years later the school stopped offering that shit degree due to low demand and low job opportunities
>she secretly hates her brother and wants him to leave as well
>brother is a schizo piece of shit cow himself
>will do what it takes to make someone's life a living hell
>super vengeful and petty, if someone crosses her she will never forgive them until the end of time
>total hypocrite at times
>use to have friends but they all left because she never even attempted to connect with them
>>561095>the typical overweight child in weird clothes who doesn't talk to anyone and gets bullied, with an alcoholic dad and doormat mom>social anxiety, no self esteem, depression yada yada>basically no life from puberty on, stopped going to school >developed an ED as a teen with periods of relapse until mid 20's and no one knows>met first boyfriend on the internet at 17, thought he was ugly but desperately clinged onto the relationship for about 5 years despite him being a cringey narcissistic edgelord and neoliberal>managed to get a life and some friends as an adult, a better boyfriend and started university>took an embarrassingly long time to finish university because mental health uwu, still has to write one last paper since last summer and hasn't even started, so the last year was a NEET lifestyle in disguise full of lies and still no master's>likes to shit on boyfriend over minor things and housework while being a lazy hypocritical fuck>developed a drug habit at 22 (mainly ampethamines) to make up for lack of teenage years and felt badass for it, started taking drugs again at 30 but less often and doesn't want to stop, hides it from anti-drug friend because coward>engaging in misogynistic cattiness with said friend which goes against personal beliefs>generally tends to hide stuff so now she can't make some of her friends meet because her lies could come out and everything could fall apart>constantly worried that some friends don't like her enough to hang out more so she sticks to the two friends she's not worried about despite wanting to get closer with the others (this has been going on for like 8 years with no improvement)>secretly despises her best friends for certain things which sometimes leads to passive aggressiveness or shit talking behind their backs>spends too much time online>was happy about the quarantine because now she could live in isolation without being questioned>sometimes doesn't leave the house for days>feels strong personal connection with twitter friends she barely knows and thinks about them a lot and is too scared to talk to them more, feels like a creep for it>ghosted a literal anonymous discord with online friends because muh anxiety and "they all secretly hate me", deeply regretted it>has strong opinions about things like politics and feminism but barely ever expresses them, even online because of being a paranoid mess>recently conflicted about transphobic thoughts and starting to sympathize with terf beliefs since the J K Rowling thing>buys games she never plays
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Kek reminds me of pic related anon>>567443
I'd dump my mediocre bf for you. Mfw no pretty textbook mean girl to have a toxic
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posting this here but she is definitely /pt/ material, what a fucking cow
>really into art but no talent or progress ever
>falls in love with any man that treats her well, and manipulates the shit out of them
>been telling everyone that shes an innocent virgin girl when she had a full blown club thot phase while living overseas for a year
>'no, i never kissed anyone actually haha. i'm a virgin still. i never even been to a club or used any drug, guess i'm lame haha' are commonly heard lies from this cow, and those couldn't be further from the truth
>tells men that she is really socially awkward and has no friends, uses the autism diagnosis to back it up, makes them feel bad for her even though her social life is doing well and she can do just fine socially
>pretend shes really nice and friendly but will absolutely talk shit about you and be very mean
>cant change her snake ways even though she tried
>is the creator of inner circles and shit talking channels in all servers she joins
>people just think its a harmless interest in gossip because uwu shes so innocent and shes autistic guysss
>been getting into e-relationships online since 2013 and always stops talking to them after a year at most, but comes back to them after a few years just to get some attention and then leave them again
>maintained e-relationships while dating irl with dudes overseas that she didnt even tell her mum about
>talking about mum, holy shit, this bitch is spoiled as fuck
>never pays for anything because mum will always cover it up
>wouldn't have gotten anywhere without nepotism, including job, uni and the place she lives
What a snake, fuck her and her nasolabial folds
Damn you sound like the girl I wouldnt mind be bullied to. Bully me pls queen! call me a fat and ugly lesbian I dont mind! I'll give you my money! seriously you're like an IRL regina George.
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holy shit im not alone
bless u anon, were both filthy liars
I skipped all of my exams and also went MIA suicidal mode while not replying to any of my professors. I got a few emails of them trying to assist me but I ignored them.
I am sure you are correct in that they would have let me retake them or reschedule but I cut off all communication with my school for months.
Sucks for you. If you put the minimum of effort you could have gone back. Actually tbh my parents wrote them some basic things and they let me back easy. Elite private schools generally like to pamper their students.
Also another thing is that Ivy Leagues dont' give out scholarships generally.Everyone is on financial aid only pretty much and its pretty generous. I lost some scholarships when I had to take time off of my university but they take scholarships away from your FA so it didn't really make a difference. Most elite universities with good FA are like this.
So many Americans think any random private school is an ivy league lmao. OT but at least my college never gets mistake for an Ivy. We're just the Harvard of the South lmao
I'm aware of this now. I wasted a huge opportunity as well. I was an international student and it was my only ticket to a better future out of my third world shithole country(I'm stuck here now).
Anyway. Don't fuck up your life like I did, anon. I could be making at least thrice what I make now and be living in some comfy, modern apartment.
>>571284>Harvard of the South
So I can think of 3 that people have said. Vanderbilt, Tulane, Rice>>571287
Was it Brown? If it actually was an Ivy League.
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>has clingy, overbearing mother
>father is extremely passive aggressive and she looks like the female version of him
>both of them divorced when she was nine
>skeletal (but skinny fat) but taller than average
>unfortunate facial features and a terribly placed birthmark
>obsessed with getting plastic surgery, wears a face of makeup even just to go to the grocery store
>was bullied in elementary school for being the weird girl, got picked on by both of her groups of friends, bullied another weird girl because she thought she was somehow superior
>wanted to rename her megatron bc she was obsessed with OG transformers, starscream was the ideal husbando
>created an art contest at school with the help of her friends because she knew she would win. she did
>became addicted to the internet at a young age, constantly browsed deviantart to make fun of terrible artists (that she was on the same level as)
>sent hate anons to mutuals on tumblr
>continues school, gets horrible grades simply because she does not care and refuses to do the work
>constantly lie and cheat on tests because teachers give her leniency bc of her ADHD
>has no friends, except for two younger girls obsessed with video games, still treats them like shit anyways
>spends any money she gets immediately on stupid shit, like corsets that she somehow will think makes her hotter (it won’t)
>owned a sans the skeleton body pillow and then gave it away to a friend because the game got too popular
>extreme contrarian, leftist in theory but hates any type of identity politics
> internalized misogynist and honestly isn’t even feeling bad for most of the women’s shitty relationships in this thread
>gained popularity in the true crime community on tumblr because she made fun of the hybristophiles despite being one herself
>this gave her an extreme femdom fetish for torturing evil men. just this year became obsessed with one of the worst men that walked the earth and couldn’t stop talking about how much he wanted to peg him
>listens to the same five songs on repeat and daydreams her alternate universe where she is famous for various reasons, usually in the past
>her husbando is a guy who died 20 years before she was born, an overweight drug addicted asshole. still in love with him anyways and collects anything about him
>autistically is writing a nonsensical novel right now with a guy who isn’t even interested in her
i’m a clown AMA
welcome to my circus yall
>csa victim, start cutting at 10 years old
>both parents use drugs, crazy and fight constantly
>dad weird as hell, accuses everyone else's dad of being a pedo
>turns out dad is the pedo
>tried to come out at 14, parents ban spending time with secret gf in response
>pretend to be a boy online for a month to flirt with girls she knows from school
>shit gets too real
>says that boy killed himself because at 14 that seemed like a good and easy solution
>police, parents, and school get involved, refuse to speak about it
>relationships strained with everyone afterwards, very disliked
>start doing drugs
>has sex with and then dates a boy she doesn't even like so her mom stops having breakdowns about her being gay
>drink cough syrup constantly, use psychedelics all the time, loves cocaine
>thinks she's got self inflicted brain damage now
>pine for girl who is obviously leading her on, get pimped out at 16 by her while super fucked up
>more upset about girl cutting off contact afterwards than anything else
>2 failed suicide attempts in 2 weeks, spend a month in a crisis center
>runs away from home but gets arrested in another state for it and sent to juvie, parents have to come get her
>mom cheats and parents divorce
>drops out of HS and gets GED instead, kicked out at 17
>become stripper as soon as possible to escape minimum wage hell
>no self esteem, customers comment on scars but keep cutting anyway
>estranged from entire family
>no regard for personal safety, gets drunk and walks around alone all night several times a week
>gets into arguments with total strangers in public often
>whines all the time about being a useless drug addict and whore to only friend, but makes zero effort to change
>spent like an entire decade high
>turn 24, decide to go to college since she can get free money for it now
>quit strip clubs and camming to serve in restaurants, become borderline alcoholic
>fail community college classes like public speaking twice because panic attacks when trying to talk about herself
>starts studying cs because friend suggested it and she wasn't doing shit anyway
>discover autistic interest in computer networks and security
>friendship with drugs over, now computer is best friend
>still retarded from abusing them though
>much older than classmates and nothing in common
>terrified of old camshows being discovered
>goes to therapy and takes meds for smorgasbord of trauma because again her only friend suggested it
>still day dreaming about dying
>still unsure if lesbian or bisexual
i'm still a clown, but a little bit less so than before
>traumatizing childhood that later leads to multiple mental illnesses
>first tried to commit suicide at age 9
>started cutting age 11
>put on medications at a v young age that probably weren't made for kids
>humorous but capable of being caustic father, workaholic, only around on and off again
>exceedingly overemotional bpdfag mother prone to horrible emotional, psychological, and physical abuse
>raised to feel inferior and retarded
>raised to believe emotion is bad while dealing with emotionally abusive family members
>parents always fighting
>compared to my younger sister constantly
>parents divorce in my early teens
>over money problems
>they're horribly irresponsible with money and in general
>bullied at school, abused at home
>dont really realize what's happening to me at all but i hate it
>mom has a stroke shortly after divorce is filed
>mom has multiple abusive psychopath boyfriends after divorce that steal from her and take advantage of her being near handicapped
>dont know what the fuck to do
>she becomes even more abusive as time goes on, maybe it's the brain damage
>instances where she falsely calls the cops on me and threatens to get me arrested multiple times for fights that she started
>publicly humiliates me by having cops pretend to "arrest me"
>tries to choke me
>when i'm almost legal i move out and i'm finally free of her after coming to my senses fully and realizing i cant take it anymore or ill end my own life
>move in with dad
>sister becomes self entitled as a result of her superiority complex formed by my familys preference for her
>shows downright sociopath behavior including starting fights with me for no reason
>dogging me to cut and harm myself
>is now a psychology major at a university
>funny how someone with almost no empathy is a psych major lmao
>take to the internet
>get involved in multiple communities
>start off out on a weeb forum where it's cringey but nothing serious
>hospitalized three times when i was a minor, luckily not as an adult yet!
>discover tumblr around age 15
>become cow of high caliber when i piss off people in a weeb fandom by not being pc enough for them
>try to escape my main acct by using an rp account to rp my unpopular fav character
>end up in semi relationship with a fandom translator only to have her go nonbinary cringe on me
>end up with obsessive crush on german fakeboi
>get found there bc german fakeboi is in the rp community
>desperately try and escape drama only to end up entrenched back in it
>callout post is made
>am angry and resentful at that point
>find out what my frenemy's twitter is and start stalking her under a different alias
>she believes i'm a different person
>she finds out i'm me
>say i have her dox just to scare her
>fucking get blocked for good
>around this time start to theorize that i'm bipolar or bpd
>convince therapist to diagnose me
>find out it's indeed true and i am a mood disordered bpdfag
>start medications and think my quality of life will vastly be improved
irl shit in the meantime
>drop out of hs at 19 after shit math scores and getting behind in self paced school
>one year behind
>everyone i knew graduated a year prior
>fuck high school
>work dead ended job for a year b4 attending community college
>attend community college, have almost no friends
>befriends stoners at work
>realize i am now in a love dodecohedron
>leads to more drama
>am used by an infidel asshole who lies about not having a gf
>have short lived relationship with coworker only to have him blueball me when we were about to have sex
>heartbroken, get rebound bf
>turned off sex but he begins to gaslight me and abuse me when i dont let him touch me
>say i want to wait to have sex and am faced with constantly being coerced into letting him finger me bc he's angry i wont fuck him and that i'm scared
>generally allow myself to be stomped on and further abused
>have more bad relationships
>give myself cigarette burns and more cuts from the pain of my relationships
>i have around 30 burns and cuts now
but it doesn't end there
>to escape tumblr, joins weeb forum
>become known troll on weeb forum after deciding that good faith debates with the alt right fags there won't do me any good
>get "in" with their equivalent of the spam and shitpost community
>become member of their discord servers
>things proceed in a mostly peaceful manner for around 1.5 years other than the occasional cow in the server
>drama ensues when me and three other users make a blog to roast users of the site
>get harassed by pedophile woman and her pedophile gf who are server users for calling them out
>one of the callouts i think was more than rightful
>they get me kicked from a server i was a member of for two years
>mods are fags and made one of them a mod
>she suicide baits mods and makes up false story abt going to a mental hospital to try and make me look bad
>meanwhile i'm mentally staggered dealing with irl shit
>cutting myself, burning myself, and trying to overdose constantly as a result of my mental instability
>nobody notices irl
>continue to deal with drama between me and pedo bitches
>end up deleting drama blog which'd started to become inactive to appease them
>it doesn't help
>they start threatening me
>other group of harassers possibly aided by them spread nudes i posted when drunk and photoshopped deepfakes of me
>mental health stoops lower and lower
>nobody does anything about it and everyone starts saying that i'm a piece of shit
>get to the lowest boiling point
>eventually pedos dox me and proceed to harass my family, school, workplace and my local police department
>luckily nothing comes of it, still i get exceedingly paranoid of wtf is to come
>contemplate quitting the internet
>end up cutting a slice in my fucking wrist that needs 4 stitches and lie to hospital about it since i have to go back to work the next day
>activity wanes and the site dies down
>eventually decide to implode accounts altogether 1 yr later bc i cant deal with it
>i was a member for 2 years on that fucking site with almost nothing dramatic happening and i got a worse retread of tumblr except with a dollop of having to deal with female pedophiles who everyone defended for some reason and actualized doxing
>and everyone shrugged it off
>admittedly i dramawhored, but no way did i deserve for things to escalate that far
>the drama has been a fucking lesson and a half
>overall now i prefer to lay low compared to how i used to be
>i dont miss having an obnoxious cow persona
>it got me nothing but shit
>festering in community college and have changed major twice with no sense of direction
>family refuses to fund me going to uni
>my sister drove me to have a mental breakdown and i end up moving out of my dads
>stuck with abuser mom currently
>closer to 25 than 20 and still a virgin after being traumatized by my abusive exes trying to initiate sex with me when i didnt want it
>corona has rekt my mental health and my last ditch effort to try and convince my parents to let me move the fuck out and go to the nearest uni
other embarrassing shit
>general daddy issues
>likes older men
>or troubled men
>liked men with dead girlfriends or abusive pasts
>wants to try and fix broken men or hope that their brokenness is somehow compatible with mine
>wanting to date an older guy who i know will probably treat me like shit half the time
>no resemblance of knowing what a healthy relationship is like at all
>journaled in middle school about how i wanted to murder my classmates in gruesome detail
>have since moved on from that but use writing about abusive situations as a coping mechanism to try and rationalize my abuse
>stained my middle school journals with self harm blood
>have moved onto healthier vent journals but draw really ugly ass vent art
>stanned male adult characters who are outright abusive misogynist freaks
>roleplayed as them
>written stories about them from their perspective
>wonder how i could be so vile
>stanned irl dude whos alleged to abuse his ex
>difficult to accept this
>feel like my perception is tainted
>still think he's handsome, looking at his face makes me fluster, and want to die
>have fantasized about him hurting me which makes me feel like i must be as fucking brain damaged as my bpdfag mother
>generally cringey tendency to crush on women and then move onto another woman to crush on
>too flustered to ever admit i like a woman with the fear she'll reject me
>my gaydar/bi-dar is garbage
>best friends with a tranny who is probably one of the few things that helped me when i was mentally woeful
>he means a lot to me
>i'm not gc so it doesn't bother me and he's a very good person who isnt defined by identity politics
>i withhold some of my controversial views from my friends and sometimes i feel ashamed that i do
>only because i dont want to make them uncomfortable or be shat upon for not being leftist enough, i'm plenty leftist, i just dont agree with some shit the left is spewing
>idk what else
>>569379>Banned off twitter through multiple accounts, picking fights with discord mods
Bless you anon. What did you do to get banned?>>569405
No it isn't, fuck u
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Well I've been ruminating on it for a few weeks, might as well give it a go:
>ugly duckling child that turned into ugly goose adult out of general negligence of her body from not giving a fuck out of spite
>went through phase of annoying people for attention then wondered why everyone despised her and didn't want to be her friend
>molested and assaulted by males and abandoned by biological dad
>stepparent and mother imprinted terrible narcissistic/defensive traits that only in recent years she has become self-aware of via lots of ego injury
>even as adult can't stop blaming parents for general failure
>still angry as an adult for childhood shit like moving away and losing all friends just to be bullied and outcast in new school
>constantly feels misunderstood by people but it's her fault majority of the time
>deserves the outcome for being a fucking weirdo
>two degrees yet professionally unaccomplished and underpaid
>can't even live alone cause unable to meet costs of living combined with insurmountable debt
>bitter against anyone in better life situations or who she feels "didn't earn it"
>hypocritically gets hurt when worse-off friends have aforementioned mindset towards her
>desperate and pandering pickme from preteens to the age of 27
>burned multiple times by parasitic and abusive men yet nary changed ways despite knowing better
>multiple abortions and years of hormonal abuse on body because she self-harmed with risky sex and isn't sorry for it
>constantly fighting urges to cater to males out of loneliness but luckily bad body and bitter mentality acts as a male repellent >only the ugliest orbiters darken her doorstep who are then easily rejected and balls quashed yet she should probably be thankful for even their attention
>will die alone because she doesn't want an uggo low effort male even though she is uggo low effort female
>has female friends but weird undertone of competitiveness with all but maybe one or two >internalizes the comparative tones out of a future notion that one day she will be prettier than female rivals and have vengeance
>probably a high-functioning depressive personality but can't afford help and internal aversion from mother saying mental illness was for excuse makers
>sometimes judges people with illnesses as excuse makers even though she was just as hurt by those accusations herself
>most 'talents' are mimics if not blatant ripoffs of more talented persons
>spends inconceivable amount of time doing unproductive shit like arguing on the internet yet makes fun of others caught doing the same
>virtue signals for self-esteem but has the worst self-esteem of all
>wants a family but has little nurturing instinct for other babies as it is, would probably be as bad of a mother as her own was to her
>looks down on copes and escapisms in others but would totally drown herself in drug and alcohol benders if she could get away with it
>disgustingly finds most of her happiness in material things
>internally loves to be angry, loves drama, loves conflict, and loves problems even though she outwardly denies it
>chronically lazy and feels entitled to an easy life despite no one owing her shit
tl;dr I'm a hateful hypocrite with a vendetta against groups of people who I allowed to hurt me so my brain doesn't spend all its time hating myself. No, it doesn't work. Usually.
Repost for format.
Oh shit it's like looking into a distorted mirror showing what would happen if a father and shitty sister joined the party, down to the vent journals, helper syndrome fantasys, mother having a stroke resulting in brain damage making her behaviour worse(or blaming it on that) and the rping and writing as vile male characters.
Do you think going to uni would make your situation better? It sounds more like you really need to get away from your family as first priority.
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Most of my milk is old and just me being socially stupid, so here’s my dumb bitch old milk:
>unironically calls someone “waifu”
>is ugly but somehow has simps she never uses because moralfag
>still tries to convert them into actual functioning people
>pretended to be “uwu Bi” because no friends
>too straight for that gay shit
>always wanted to have group of girl friends
>joined a 18+ group with lesbian women
>managed to always deflect the horny people
>became admin i still wonder how
>was worst admin ever
>complete pushover because hated being in the middle of drama
>still loved watching the constant infighting and drama unfold
>somehow managed to avoid getting sucked into drama
>somehow managed to become friends with most of the involved parties
>toxic member somehow always simped for me
>still feels bad about it wtf girl I never asked for it, I actively told you I didn’t want you to do it wtf
After a few days of inactivity
>unironically joined “uwuowo” cute groups on discord
>unironically has an “uwu“ discord tag and pfp
>left those “uwuowo“ cute groups
>most of the people somehow thought I was a guy the majority of the time
>I still somehow got people simping for me
>still feels disgusted because of inexplicable hate for simps in general
I don’t know how, but I think it’s the genuine use of “uwu” emojis what makes people want to orbit others, so take notes everyone, use “uwu” emojis and squiggly symbols if you ever want some simps.
I honestly don’t understand how anyone can handle simps though, I instantly felt disgusted and did my best to make them stop trying to do anything for a stranger on the internet.
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>went through a lolita phase at 17 and found 50+ year old guys hot
>fat since always
>would only masturbate to hentai until 3 years ago
>dropped out of 8th grade to go to cyber school
>cheated in said cyber school to graduate high school
>found my bf in lolcow
>went to college part time for 5 years and still never graduated
>15K in student loan debt
>still can't drive in mid 20s
>from 12-15 would spam artists to make request drawings on Deviant of my shitty OC's
>had over 600 images of said OC drawings
>used to yaoi RP and say "ugu" at the end of my sentences at 16
Neither actually, been together 3 years now. So a little late for that.
But he doesn't lurk and came one time, now here we are.
I’ve been super boring and unmilky for years now so here’s ages 17-21 lol
>>diagnosed bpdfag wannabe mia
>>gets kicked out at 17 for standing up to abusive father
>>latches on to any Mexican guy that will give her attention
>>first bf is abusive, ldr & cheats with his ex so as punishment, I make him fist his asshole on webcam (screenshots galore)
>>never show anyone the screenshots but tell people the story because I think it’s funny
>>force bf to move all over country for me only to end up dumping him for bf #2
>>bf #2 gets me into hard drugs, I become dealer
>>drugs potentiate mental illness, become incredibly unstable
>>begin to believe I have special powers and start doing crazy shit like putting my period blood into bf’s food for spiritual purposes
>>relationship crumbles due to both our instability
>>give him laxative to ruin his trip out of town
>>during break in relationship, contemplate cheating on him with a friend who begins to act strangely
>>get raped while on drugs by said guy friend. He suicide baits and fools me into forgiveness
>>commending retard era where I begin to date my rapist, bf #3
>>he ruins all of my friendships and relationship with family, actively begins isolating me. He threatens suicide and holds all of my items and pet hostage when I try to leave
>>a year of hell passes with him, I start to sneak out. I go to clubs and hookup with guys and girls
>>he finds out, acts like he still wants to continue our relationship while simultaneously projecting hatred on to me
>>I sign up for WWOOF and run away to a literal hippie commune ran by an older lesbian woman in the mountains of norcal where I trim marijuana and take care of goats
>>live there for several months, make friends from all over the globe and open myself up to spirituality
>>discover my passions, ditch bad people and bad habits, make encouraging new friends and live happily ever after
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More of a cow description than milk, but anyway…
>almost in her 30s
>spent her whole life as a neet femcel until 27
>still no bf
>still lives with parents, doesn’t cook, doesn’t clean, doesn’t pay for shit womanchild
>adult picky eater with a 10 year old’s palate, would starve before eating a basic salad
>bone thin with bloated fupa due to poor diet and no exercise. You’d think she has worms or something.
>discovered she can eat almonds!!!! Much health. This will finally be the thing to change her life forever!
>looks like female projared, kind of like chin-chan if she had eyebrows
>middle class parents paid for expensive art college tuition, failed any basic English requirement and anything involving reading and writing, several times
>no dyslexia, takes 20 minutes to read a single page anyways. Then feels too mentally exhausted to go on, but not enough to keep her from spending hours on reddit, and now lc
>graduated eventually but art still sucks, too lazy to improve
>bad at therapy. 2dumb, can’t articulate thoughts well enough to make any progress, can’t handle being told what she doesn’t want to hear, lies to avoid discomfort
>always wakes up late, could sleep the whole day, fuck self improvement
>doesn’t get the trans hate on this site. Just recently became more open minded towards the non-binaries because she watched some Dorian Electra music videos
This all seems particularly miserable
Keep going on that spiritual path tho, fake it and you might make it
bruh I'm fucking jealous of your life. Give me that Uber daddy and a nose job!
Everyone's fake anon, life's a bitch and you gotta fight to survive. You're owning it
>oldcow autist/recovering BPDfag in early 30s still doing the same shit and engaging in the same internet culture bullshit since middle school, classic internet/social media addict with arrested development and no attention span left due lifetime of internet abuse, on and off NEET who has achieved nothing in life
>moved to US at age 7 but still has problems with english language; can't speak native language correctly either, literally illiterate
>BS design related degree; has only worked dead end minimum wage jobs in her field; laid off from all of them, never achieved true financial independence
>physically, psychological and borderline sexually abused in childhood which no one every really talks about or acknowledges, manifesting in severe childhood hypochondria and later BPD
>3 major depressive episodes since early 20s one requiring hospitalization, finally sort of got over BPD in 2016-2018
>gets to live in rich dad's old apartment alone with no roommates rent free but lives in incel squalor due to muh depression and muh anxiety, kitchen is falling apart, holes in walls, roaches
>pothead since late 2017 who smokes weed everyday, managed to quit for 4 months then relapsed last week
>80+ year old Grandfather still works to save more money to leave her after he dies because of what a failure she clearly is
>autist who has never had any social metric value or more then 3 friends at a time, most "friendships" are short-term male orbiterships waiting for chance to try to bang
>mentalcel who is afraid of talking to men and hasn't been on a date since dec 2019 and hasn't been in relationship since 2018, cannot have sex with new person without being wasted
>lost virginity at age 20 to 40 y/o nasty fat myspace era hipster/scene dude who was also sleeping with a 15 year old at the time; ended up raping her and bunch of other scene girls (not dahvie vanity)
>flew to another country once to see a clearly mentally unstable model she met only once only before only to be blown off, still obsessed with him to this day and tries to cyberstalk him
>Dysfunctional on and off NEET lifestyle thats been going on for over 10+ years; has unlimited time to pursue any dream of goal but doesn't do anything for the last 6 months besides surf internet all day, do a little drawing and hatewatch other people living their best life
>allowed a heroin addicted drug dealer to move in her apt with his GF and slept on couch for 3 years while they lived in bedroom and trashed the place, dabbled in heroin with him
> face related body dysmorphia; obsessed with getting plastic surgery when she has no job or income
>on and off ex of almost 7 years wasted her and his time, is now almost 50 and has decided he wants to leave the city and live some david dubinsky trad farm lifestyle in the middle of rural colorado
>probably never going to have a family or kids at this point, unlikely to ever have a real career or good job
>dead end existence with no purpose or future, mentally asks God to take her out at least once a week, too afraid to actually an hero herself
>Father moved back to old country and throws 800 a month at cow to not have to take active role in failure daughter's life
>secretly signed up for SA account this month in desperate attempt to achieve financial independence/stop being incel, zero takers so far
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Example of before and after brow lift (I think hers was surgical though)
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>was diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression due to childhood medical trauma at 8, tried to commit suicide a few times/would cut almost every night.
>was put on meds
>developed ed around this time
>not much love/attention at all from emotionally absent cop father
>ungodly amount of self hatred
>left school beginning of 4th grade
>became a homeschooled socially awkward emo
>used to rp on google +
>couldn't even come into contact with anything relating to hospitals or medical related anything without going into a full blown anxiety attack that would cause dissociation that could last for hours
>diagnosed with a dissociative disorder after thinking said episodes were "normal"and that they were just "away with the fairies"
>started smoking weed
>thought their dealer was crushing on them; newsflash, he's just a friendly person
>thinks everyone either loves them or wants them dead, nothing in-between
>just started classes after years of not attending a real school, everyone already dislikes them/thinks they're clingy
>relapsing back into ed related habits ever since covid
>always "forgetting" to take medications and do physiotherapy for chronic illness (in reality is just a lazy sack of shit)
>hasn't felt "real" since late last year
>still collects old toys they grew up with due to lack of childhood/childhood trauma (barbies, bratz, any fashion doll)
Sorry, just saw this reply.
I got banned off multiple twitter accounts for having incredibly conflicting mutuals, for example radfem accounts and altright accounts. Last time I got banned was for retweeting a holocaust denying meme and a radfem account reported me and I got banned because I wouldn't delete the retweet. Another time was for pissing off a gamergate guy who got his personal army to go through my account and report everything.
The discord story is more interesting. Basically had a friend who invited me into her friends discord. I'd met the mod before IRL so I felt comfortable being myself, but I learned pretty quickly that they were in fact not being themselves, pretending to be men. (just the mod, not the friend who invited me in)
It was an edgy discord, and my extremist beliefs conflicted a lot with the mod and the mod's boyfriends beliefs, and we would constantly argue. They'd post memes they knew would piss me off, and eventually my partner joined the discord to argue w them too, and my friend who invited me in was way more on the mod's side than my side (the mod and her partner were very cultish and would ban everyone but me that would argue w her, only kept me around to keep things interesting).
I eventually left the discord, but then had a few people message me privately from the discord to tell me they were mad shittalking me and bringing up stuff from my private life (because friend who invited me in and mod knew me IRL). I lashed out at the friend who invited me in and basically told her I never wanted to talk to her again because she betrayed my trust, telling discord weirdos private life details (phone number etc). We had a massive blow out fight and now we don't talk at all, blocked each other on everything.
Not even getting into my childhood, bc it is is mess I do not remeber
Ana-saga (age 14)
>randomly see pro ana site, and get obsessed
>become very neurotic about food
>work out for hours
>obsessed with MPA and pro ana tumblr
>reactive eating causes me to be a bulimic
>being hungry causes bitchiness and lose all friends
>develop fears about contamination and ghosts
Loner-saga (age 16)
>Stop talking to people
>Insane levels of anxiety
>huge arguments with mom who tries to kill herself constantly
>move to dads place
>I have no friends
>Dad reads my journal about spicy political shit, we have fight and I have to move back home
>My mom tries to choke me bc she is upset, call the cops and she gets arrested
>also was fairly popular on alt right tumblr at some point and had orbiter who sent me amazon giftcards
Failed new start (18 to now)
>stop reading news
>move to first apartment, that gets filled with trash bc I was terrified of taking it out to the wrong dumpster
>finally make a new good female friend (still the only one)
>get a good sized inheritance, but be a retard about spending it, bc I was so broke before
>go on 6 vacations in 2 years
>have such degenerate sexual behavior it is recognizeable on lc
>only get crushes on foreign (mostly German) guys and obsess about them for hours everyday, even a year after
>oops broke and in debt, money run out
>seriously consider prostituting myself
>addicted to porn from age 9, sometimes spend hours masturbating
>snuff fetish bc everything else is boring
>can’t stop sperging out at my friends/random people, no wonder I cant get a second date
>stil have multiple male stalkers though
>too retarded to read instructions to book a therapist appointment
>getting drunk everyday I have money to stave off social anxiety
>thousands of matches on tinder, but I only can arrange dates when I’m super wasted
Finnanon, you're fucking annoying.
We were best friends for years after it and we still talk to each other occasionally.
What I did was very bad, but I honestly didn't plan for it to happen and we both had decided we wanted to do it whilst drunk. I was 13/14 and she was 15, I was extremely immature and just being dumb. Sorry for the shitty choice of words.
just an obvious narcissist with a fucked up childhood, nothing new. also kids experiment and do weird crap like that, its not rape >>600287>>599164
both of you need to get therapy and learn from your childhood. its fucking disturbing
Snuff fetish =/= wanting to see other people tortured/killed. You can also want to be the ”victim
”. Even then it’s degenerate tho
I used a vpn app that was meant for Netflix. The app was new and 4ch was slow to block all of its servers so I was able to use it for a good couple of months before they all got shut down. >>600896
Your humble beginnings and newer milk sound relatively harmless and just stupid kid behavior, but the obsession part in fresh milk is weird. Please seek help.
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>diagnosed with aspergers, demanded to have it changed to bpd for ages because of self-diagnosing denial
>used to browse pull where she became obsessed with spookycharms and obsessively mimicked her down to the makeup products she used
>lost virginity at 22 to a sugar daddy after her dad died, has some daddy issues and pretended to have a daddy kink so sugar daddy would keep giving her money, had sex with another older sugar daddy for money
>dresses like a wannabe influencer teenage thot despite being in her 20s
>can’t handle having money, spends it all on clothes and makeup like she’s a 15yo with no self-control
>lives with her mom bc can’t handle being independent, hates being alone, terrified her mom will die 24/7 and convinced she’ll die too when that day comes
>embarrassingly naïve and self-pitying womanchild who needs constant praise and validation from others
nothing in the post is even mildly tolerable, are you also a crazy-chan?
hope you get help though OP, granted that retardation can be cured.
I know of multiple BPDers who have self diagnosed themselves with autism in an attempt to get away from the stigma of BPD and have a more 'please pity me' type of disorder.
I think people generally have more empathy for those with autism compared to personalities disorders
aww thank you anon! this made me smile. i wish you the best! ♡>>607725
thank you anon! i’m working on it. wish you the best!>>607732
this is valid
. it was six years ago now, i was still a minor at the time. glad i grew out of it.>>607741
that’s interesting, i did not expect that. it really sucks that it’s so difficult for a lot of people to embrace their disorders because of all the stigma.
these are just sad, just like most of the posts in this thread. you guys should get help for your issues - being a victim
doesn't inherently make you a cow. it's not too late to change
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>art school dropout
>25 and can't drive
>lives at home with her mom
>eats absolute garbage fast food and doesn't work out
>can't hold down a job for more than 3 months without having an emotional breakdown and quitting
>mooches off rich autistic boyfriend who doesn't know any better
>created her own unhappiness but blames it all on muh depression
fuckin hate this bitch
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> definitely a bpd-chan, out of control
> sometimes i steal my familys shoes for my own personal use, no one ever finds out
> mooch off of my family, they pay for my food, my bills, my doctors appointments, etc
> when i really have to take a shit, sometimes i shit inside my parents room in spite
> always loud as fuck, never shut the hell up
> sometimes i bite people
> i often jump on people when im annoyed
> sometimes i chew on staircases and eat whatevers left of the rug
> dont do any chores
> i've pissed on my moms new couch before
> i lied about it
> sometimes when im scared i piss myself and make other people clean it up
> pic related
> pic is me
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>had potential in school, decided to waste her time shitposting on the internet instead.
>one of those annoying cunts who has to let people know she's ex-gifted, even on anonymous sites.
>had a shoplifting phase and got arrested for it in a very low budget clothing shop
>nearly died from alcohol poisoning twice before turning 18
>currently devoloping alcoholism, drinks warm vodka
>now facing zero job prospects outside her shitty part time work.
>probably procrastinating studying for the exam to get into university where she lives rn. I bet she has literally 2 weeks to learn 2 years of material and still hasn't started.
>wants to leave her parents house in her hometown more than anything, still can't be bothered to put in the work???
>probably has adhd but won't get checked out because she doesn't trust doctors
>thinking about applying to art school (lmao faggot), probably won't ever
>extremely vain and anachan, still manages to look like shit
>thinks if she doesn't look people in the eye they somehow won't be able to see her hideous face, like a child playing hide and seek thinks you can't see them if they can't see you kek
>afraid to even leave the house, needs a pound of makeup on if she ever does
>freak that wears full length jeans and a denim jacket in the summer
>who still cuts themselves in 2020
>shifts girls who are flirting with bisexuality to look cool to boys and don't even like her back, doesn't care
>afraid to have sex though, will probably die a virgin
>her parents are disappointed beyond belief with her, who can blame them
>has like 2 friends, who are sick of her bullshit and will probably end up dumping her (as they should)
>fantasises about commiting suicide everyday via a very violent method liking slitting her throat, definitely too much of a pussy to follow through with that
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>military wife, married at 18
>retard-tier ADHD, refuses to take meds because they make me feel weird
>crippling social anxiety
>no irl friends
>edgy as fuck, makes fun of well-adjusted people
>has a million piercings and dresses like 2003 hot topic exploded onto an industrial rave
>too scared and retarded to try to take the next step in life
>instead makes mediocre art, surfs the internet, and writes all day
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To think all of this happened in the past 5 years:
>used to start tumblr naruto drama by making hate-troll blogs with the shippingtards
>would catfish random guys for years just to get online game shit
>dropped a total of 6k on a gacha game using their money
>faked an entire funeral for these catfished men over the phone
>constantly made men rub their cum on their faces and hurt themselves because she wanted to feel something, felt nothing
>let a bunch of random men use her in a weird way (revenge porn/humiliation) because she was a repressed suicidal v*rgin
>the usual anafag and cutting combo
>became a camgirl
>paranoid 24/7 of being identified in public, so she constantly changes her clothes and hair into every possible style that exists including a tranny phase
>pretty sure a guy gave her a foot fetish
>said guy also gave her a thing for r*ssian men
>goes out her way to date cops, military men, alcoholics, etc the ones more likely to be abusive
>kinda wants to be abused, kinda wants to be murdered
>2 suicide failed attempts, 3 head shaves, and hoards stuffed toys to cope
>unironically plays with said stuffed toys
>writes fanfics about politicians and draws gay porn
>dedicated to becoming a spinster 4 life
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I am the girl in the pic eating spaghetti out of a bag. I only found out about the image a few months ago and apparently it's ALL over the internet. I'm still trying to process it, really. I have never told anyone else about this and nowhere else to say it, but I had to get it off my chest, and I couldn't think of anywhere else where people might understand a little more (I've been here only a few times before).
Thanks for reading.
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This one?! Story pls, bag why? Do you not own tupperware? No sauce? Was it room temp? Was this prepared just for a bagged lunch, or was it leftovers? Is this a normal meal for you or just something grabbed last minute because you had nothing else? If it was leftovers, was the original meal also just plain cooked spaghetti or did you make a sauce? Why store the spaghetti and sauce separately? If you could go back in time and relive this day, would you do it all again?
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The story is I had a friend who brought lunch to school everyday that she didn't eat because she had a cool older boyfriend that got her McDonalds every day. I was happy to eat her lunch. I don't know why it was plain spaghetti in a bag. Apparently it's somewhat common for Latino and Filipino people (I am neither) to put their food in bags like this. I never questioned why.
Would I do this again? Sure, maybe with spaghetti squash or something, but I couldn't carb overload like that anymore.
fun game: guess what threads anons are most active on based on their cow posts>>666004
for this anon I am guessing Shayna
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Yeah, it's pretty tormenting considering I don't think I've posted myself online. Oh well, the primary reaction to the picture seems to be "relatable LOL" which is as good as it gets for being an internet meme I guess. I've come to accept it as a karmic payback of sorts for having saved and shared thousands of candid random pictures of people turned into memes over the years.
yeah and honestly i dont care about his opinions, our relationship works practically. i live with him and have since march and we are both quiet people who just want to browse imageboards and play video games and get high. its nearly a perfect relationship. i get home before him and i look forward to seeing him every day. he is really a sweet person. buuut. he really wants kids and i dont. been together since octoberish 2019 and still in the honeymoon phase or something, i still am madly in love with him. we met on /soc/ just to have sex and i think he is hot as fuck. even though we browse /pol/ together and he probably hates me for not wanting kids (it makes me a broken woman in scrotes eyes) he is genuinely in love with me because he doesnt know what to do. i know i sound like a cow myself which is why i posted about it here. i have no idea if he is going to leave me or not. he may be a poltard full of hate but he is so sweet to me and cried all night when i finally said "ive been trying to convince myself that i want to have kids but honestly i really dont".
i guess my point is… its so odd sometimes being with a guy like that who hates so many people. he has never been cruel to me. it just proves to me that every man seriously just does want someone to love them. explains why guys on pol are so salty girls dont like them lol. dont know if im making sense but im like yeah the women haters on pol would always make an exception for a girl who seriously just loves them even if they arent perfect. i will be so gutted if he dumps me. sorry this is long.
>>691482>it just proves to me that every man seriously just does want someone to love them. explains why guys on pol are so salty girls dont like them lol.
2019 isnt that long. If hes an
asshole to other people he will eventually start being an asshole to you. You are in the honey moon period. It took my a year to find out the scrote I was dating from 4chan was secretly taking nude photos of his own sister. Enjoy what you have for now but dont get too comfortable.
i was already pretty right leaning when we met but ever since /pol/ i did get sorta radicalized and started really thinking that i was gonna have kids with him. i love him so much, but i care too much about my appearance to be comfortable being pregnant multiple times. /pol/ also made me depressed at times, self hating being a woman, but i dont really go on it often anymore and all the woman haters are just salty they dont have a girl that loves them.
i really tried for about a year of our relationship to convince myself that i want kids. but i seriously just want to finish college and get a better job than the one i have now. i just want to get married and buy a nice house and work lol. and travel because ive never been outside of the us. i have my whole life ahead of me, if he leaves me i can find someone else but everything about him i love, im so comfortable with him, we have a quiet life together but he wants me to squeeze out a bunch of babies i dont want.>>691491
good question. i can ask him. i always am not afraid to openly ask him something. but yes im 22 and he is 37. i havent said it, but we both know if he leaves me he is gonna have a hard time finding a woman who is okay with his ideology, or a girl he can even openly be opinionated around. im basically a poltard too so we have a lot of interesting discussions.
he has told me many many times that i am beautiful (i have been insecure as fuck in the past, i am an anachan, gotten cosmetic surgery but nothing to augment rather just to remove scars and shit like that) and that i will always be beautiful and loved by him (ive asked before because of the whole "wall" thing etc etc) and especially when we talk about a possible break up i cry and say i will always love and respect him, and he says the same thing to me. he genuinely isnt manipulating me, we both have the same opinions (i know, that makes me a cow) and do the same things. we dont like going out and we dont like normie shit.
man his ex was ugly as fuck and a huge liberal, he knows im more than a step up from that girl. but you can see the woman hating coming out of me now, oops. i guess its born out of insecurity. really though, i am leagues ahead of her.
>>691493>People like you are perpetually stuck between having zero self esteem and being egotistical
honestly, true. but i seriously havent met a single person who isnt the same way. its part of being human, we want to be the best so we convince ourselves we are, but then when we're reminded we are probably NOT the best we feel shame and insecurity.
you are a nasty bitch for saying i deserve him to break up with me though. maybe we deserve each other. i thought most users here hate pol ideology and here i am admitting to you that i hate many groups of people right alongside him.
im completely aware of how it all looks lol
ive used this site nonstop since about may 2018 and refrained from talking about him because i knew the backlash would be crazy.
all i can say is, hey, everyone is capable of someone being in love with them.
and honestly like 90% of the time even when i didnt browse lolcow for a while i have had our own little thread in my head. it would be crazy if we used social media and had an internet following. people would think we are just really autistic. but we dont want attention we just want to be left alone lol>>691508
i mean, look at the "men you would fuck" threads. ive been shocked over and over again that women find certain kinds of men attractive. i have been told before i have an odd taste in men. he has nice hair (esp since a lot of guys by then have very little hair kek), a nice face structure, clear skin, barely any body hair, he is athletic, lean but muscular build, pretty good in bed. only guy that has actually made me orgasm when for years i thought it would never happen. he is very sweet, texts me funny or nice things, buys me flowers a lot, takes care of me when im sick, buys me weed. our families get along too.
i laughed irl, actually funny as fuck lol
>You don't have female friends because they don't want to be around you
not true, i am really quiet and take really good care of myself and am pretty good looking irl, in college ive had a couple girls hard pressed to be my bestie and i always shrug them off cause i know i couldnt be myself around them because id be "problematic
fuck, i knew i was really outing myself. ill refrain from talking about myself ever again on this site
horseshoe theory is real this site is just a feminist /pol/ nobody actually cares about challenging their own views you are all like the woman haters on /pol/ sigh
Racist-chan strikes again >>>/g/162770
you were right earlier. You and your bf deserve each other. You're both bigoted outcasts who have deluded yourselves into believing you're better than everyone else kek. Fortunately, his ex got out just in time.
and stop armchairing me. i had a normal childhood, never had trauma or been abused. i dont have a personality disorder. ive been to therapy as a teen twice and im honestly just a functioning dysthymic and obviously am remembering now why i refrain from making friends. my relationship may make me a cow but you retarded cunts will never have the satisfaction of knowing anything else or seeing what we look like. i bet you would all just love to make a thread about my life and point and laugh.>>691538
no. i can guarantee you would feel insecure around me lol>>691539
ive hated other women since i was young. just like most women do. fuck this echo chamber NON "feminist" website. ugly cunts.
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bye bye daddy’s girl
It makes me happy to see farmers that are this close by.
To stay on topic:>spent years in a /vg/ gen simping for muh 2D man despite being in a relationship >argued with anons over in incestuous gen between lorefagging>use 4chan lingo that's bled into irl conversation by accident>makes grown men uncomfortable after they compliment by autistic spergfest about shit they don't care about>spent chunk of adult years simping for the downtrodden man incel, despite seeing the underbelly of /r9k/>still simp for some of them, trying to find good where it's probably dead>mommy issues>offensive when unmedicated>probably too old to be here
I don't know how milky any of this is.
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I know I'm late to this but jesus I can't help myself>i have really good judgement.
Don't say shit like this if you're fucking dudes from /soc/, lmao.>i seriously thought he was gonna kill me in the woods bianca devin style when we met irl
Lmao >his dog likes him so he must be a great person
Hitler was great with dogs, too. Did you already know that because he told you, by the way?>i really will be heartbroken the first time in my life if he really would rather have kids with some old crusty bitch than date a youthful attractive thin girl who likes nearly everything he does.
Lmao, you're ready to fight some "old crusty bitch" for some aged crusty scrote with expired cum who will surely give you autistic, maladjusted children after he strong-arms you into a pregnancy you don't really want. >37 years old
HAHAHAHAHA HOLY FUCK. I thought he was 28 before getting to this part. I bet he's balding and smells like old milk too, lmao. >man his ex was ugly as fuck
Well, yeah, he's a 37 year old loser who sits at home playing video games. No woman would waste time with him unless they were severely mentally ill and/or had like zero other options. You're insisting you're thin and attractive, without a personality disorder, but you're somehow stuck fucking /soc/ incels pushing their 40s instead of like, sane, attractive, young men, so.
Seriously, imagine being close to your 40s and being a male 4channer, searching for pussy on /soc/.
The only thing worse than that is unironically dating someone like that.
Hilarious that they're /pol/tards, too. I imagine most of that crowd are like this. The only thing that'd make things even better is if one of them was a furry.
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>Complete NEET that never works
>Life entirely funded by orbiting submissive scrotes
>Buys likes because the pathetic desperation for attention is limitless
>Untreated narcissism and probably other cluster B mental illnesses
>Formerly obsessed with Felice Fawn and still would be if she didn’t go awol
>Edgelord with cringey hybristophilia tendencies
>Used to have a bigger online presence but now makes chaotic meme content only middle schoolers would laugh at for a non-existent audience
It'd be funnier if you posted your age.>>691543
You and every other person that's posted in this thread makes me wonder what cows you all shit on despite not being much different or in some cases worse than them.
he was 100% convinced i only liked him for money and thought it was a joke when i asked if we could spend time together without sex or any type of payment
it all worked out for the best though i guess, i'm still upset about it but even if he had liked me back it would not have been a healthy relationship
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>be me, mostly unremarkable
>have danger hair
>send a girl to the psych ward by sending physical anon mail through a paid letter writing service and other forum posts
>continue to fuck with her by signing her up for emails
>feel guilty about it for a little bit but shrug your shoulders and move on with your life
>actually panic a little maybe they know it was me
>realize you might actually have some serious mental problems that you aren't disclosing to your therapist and are shitposting about
>call into work sick just because for 3 days in a row
>continue to be a huge lying hypocrite about what websites I know about
>do next to nothing at work and bullshit your way through the rest of it
>cheat on every man you've been with
>become Karen when things don't go your way, but only over the phone because you're a pussy
>lie about all of the above constantly to anyone important
Clearly, I'm perfectly fine and there's nothing wrong with me. I should probably check myself into the mental hospital I put someone in when they leave and my vacation time rolls over. Hm.
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>addicted to xanax and adderall at 15, reminisces it publicly
>used to selfpost on /mu/ and /soc/ until a tripfag stalked her and sent her CP to her boss
>cuts and posts online, always dirty deletes
>hate follows and adds people just to cap them and put it into folders
>stalks multiple people online
>made fiance delete all his exes and sex worker friends off his social media because of insecurity
>skinwalks cows when she gets too emotionally invested in their stories
>kinnie who kins griffith, asuka soryu, satoko from higurashi and other demented characters. always either a loli/defenseless victim or a psychopath/tsundere/yandere
>used to try and fight people on tumblr and twitter by sending her address and telling people to "pull the fuck up"
>beefed with semi-famous tumblr users for clout, only got hate that drove them offline
>lesbian but only dates neckbeards out of comp het
>fakeboi that doesn't want to be but fears retaliation if she publicly "reverts" back to cis
>sells nudes for weed and clothes, doesn't care about repercussions
>changes name every year or two to something weeb-y and retarded that no one is actually going to use
>goes on live crying often
>could have been a charming femme but gave up, looks like an haggard egirl reject at 23
Partly because I wanted to, partly because she used me for money and to cart her fat ass around. She's also a jobless mooch and cheater with zero self awareness. She's gotten through life by taking advantage of the kindness of others and has never once suffered any consequences.
I'm not some grand arbiter of justice, I'm just some crazy bitch with a vindictive streak who does way too many psychedelics so my brain is fried. Cest la vie.
Me up until today:
>starts secondary school, Weeb, thinks acting like an animé protagonist is cool.
>don't make eye contact with anyone. Act reserved bc animé mc. Make zero friends.
>cry non-stop because I don't have any friends because I act like an autistic anime protagonist.
>Randomly do animé voice impressions in public.
>cuts hair and becomes an ftm. Pretend to be an mtf "" trap"" online for attention.
>Guy likes me, reject him because I'm an immature ftm.
>become pickme ass anti feminist. Watch skeptic anti sjw YouTube channels. Claim to be pro trump in class, at school ( I still cringe)
>realise all that shits dumb as hell.
>start smoking and drinking at 15. Get black out drunk in front of my grandad and parents, grandad is worried but it blows overs because my parents don't give a fuck about what I do. Dad takes my bedroom door off the hinges.
>start taking anti depressants, drinking alcohol on my antidepressants. Fuck up my chances up with guy I like because I'm retarded.
>come out to my friend as a "" lesbian""to cope with my dumbass ftm feelings.
>guy who likes me gives me serious transgrrl vibes, confirms he has dysphoria uwu in a group chat.
>no friends some aquaintences, alcoholic at 17 parents don't give a shit.
>tell friend I'm not actually a lesbian. She invites me to go to Poland.
>maladaptive daydream about being a male even though I'm a gender critical feminist at this point.
>Have a crush on some dumb ass asian guy who's openly into futantari hentai.
>age 18, say fuck it and ask to kiss him. Obsess over this guy who doesn't give a shit about me, I pursue him, he never texts first and I have to ask him out.
>have no job. Mature slower than my peers.
Hope I can go to Poland tho ladies (after Covid) .
>fully relapsed self harm habit after nearly a year of good behavior>self harmed on and off for nearly a week>stressmoking again>obsessions and hyperfixations have gotten deeper and more demented>keeps dreaming about either being abused to the point of suicide or her life ending in a dramatic and horrible death>extremely horny and wants to be fucked but is too taken aback by her fear of dating apps and men to actually get fucked by a low tier idiot on there>faps and cries a lot>desperately horny for irl problematic man she stans and fantasizes about him constantly>on new birth control that made small acne better and caused cysts to blossom>hormones are completely whacked and not making sense>is scared birth control has caused her to gain weight and wants to become anachan again>absolutely mortified at the state of her own physicality and how haggard her lifestyles made her look lately, knows that if she weren't so exhausted she'd look better>takes shit tier mirror selfies during hypomanic upswings as some sort of reassurance she isn't as ugly as she frets herself to be>or feels insanely powerful and narcissistic in makeup>compares pics of herself when she was 19 and 110 or less lbs to current pics and balks>too afraid to change medication drastically out of fear she'll attempt sudoku and won't wake up this time
>got kicked out of abuser mom's house and am back at dad's house>because of some completely random and unseen altercation involving narc mom trying to forcefully shoehorn herself into school life>last anon checked that bitch has never paid for a cent of schooling, not one cent>room keeps piling up shit and is full of random excess her father stuffed in there because he presumed she wasn't coming back, and her sister stole half her furniture for her uni townhome>tried to get rid of a bunch of belongings to appease the pigstye, it does not work>wants to throw out half her shit but has no idea where to begin>ignored by workaholic dad half the time or have to face his objective and unemotional takes on life while he insults life choices>psychopathic sister is back from uni and pretends like she never did anything wrong>barely talks to anyone because everyone else is working or she is too busy working>or is too scared to talk to people>scared for immunosuppressed irl friends and barely get to see them which deepens anger and self loathing
>still hates not being able to interact proper with other human beings except for the sake of glorifying the garbage holiday she's already tired of pedaling since july>fuck you, don't have a merry christmas, this year has been terribad
>working too many hours and is on the verge of dropping like a fly>spends off days unproductively sleeping and eating>hasn't registered for the new semester of classes thanks to exhaustion and is afraid there won't be any options left>has new coworker she fucking hates and is envious of because she got hired on as a manager despite having no experience in retail itself, just some shitty job at a family owned office, that's not retail hun>amateur manager is one year younger and extremely chipper and fake seeming>disgusting.jpg>feels bad for putting amateur down after learning her brother allegedly had cancer, but still doesn't like her>she doesn't really want to hate people but she forms preemptive opinions of people based on her intuitions because she's a dumb bitch bpdbipolarfag>main manager does not see potential in her after 3 years of hard work and continues to demean her for not being a good doormat and openly yapped and screamed at her on multiple occasions >having to hide from everyone except therapist self harm scars, keeps picking the scabs off>if that makes them scar worse, good
>wants to finish degree and escape to los angeles or new york to work in entertainment industry as a behind the scenes person>covid fucked that over>or she is doomed to become a starfucker if she can't make it and does go there once this is all done>has mental list of celebs she wants to fuck>doesn't care what she contracts if she does>wants to become a social climber just to prove she has power that everyone her entire life has taken away from her by using the rich to further her own agenda>has inheritance she's trying to use when she btfo's that she won't get till next year but is afraid of going full ingrid goes west except unsuccessfully and blowing it before she even loses her virginity>will just commit suicide if this happens
>doesn't know what the future holds or where she wants to go, what she wants to be fully>has a goal in mind that's vague and difficult, at least it's something>but at a place mentally where it's very hard to handle life at all and hates how she's wallowing in her own discomfort and pain>if she took the easy way out and focused on something shallow and vain she could become a tiktoker, youtuber, or ewhore, but she wants to slime her way up a different ladder>if all else fails she may become one of those things
all in all still a mess
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you would love the current season, heres my updates:>"quit" sex work but continued to post shooped lewds for attention; all got less than 1/4th avg likes>made secret blog to vent about identity and other dumb shit>reclaiming "femcel" >had a breakdown about instagram shadowbanning my ethot account>tweezed eyebrows and realized i made myself look like a pudgy trans version of sugarf4iry >i fucking cried for an hour>only eaten coffee and egg salad last two days>reeks of weed all the time now>shit on my partners dick during anal; never want to think about sex or my butt again>everyone in my house opened their presents from family, everyone notices i still have received nothing >actlikeitdoesnothurt.exe
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Im not even sure if i am cow worthy but
>16-17 had a weird obsession with dom/sub shit
>massive weeb and tradthot thinks she is the shit and one of the boys
>massive hentai freak
>has a folder full of hentai with fucked up fetishes and kinks
>always dating the psychopaths and males who used me
>always asked for dick pics from men on discord whenever i wanted to "date" them
>had alot of unhealthy and toxic relationships
>massive LGBT phobe and racist would always make "jokes" about killing blacks etc.
>adored hitler for some odd reason
>raided servers full of anachans and even LGBT servers with gore pictures and racist captions
>never brushed my teeth or took a bath unless told so
>cried whenever i got called out but played it off like i didnt care
>thinks that her partner choking her and wanting to carve shit into her skin is somehow "healthy"
>brushed friends off for giving advice to leave abusive relationship
>is now mentally ill and suffers trauma
And all of this because my parent's never cared to monitor my behaviour online. Anyway i hate my younger self i really wanna punch her.
cow myself is just deliberately staying in an abusive
relationship for years against everyone’s advice
i’m a bad role model to my students
Internalised misogyny is such a pathetic thing to see in a young woman. Imagine hating your own sex, your sisters and even yourself that you stoop to such a low standard and romanticise, idealise and defend a scrote who is absolute garbage who brings nothing to the table and adds no value to your life. An undesirable. He will bring you trouble for sure and bring you down with him.
Other women are the only ones who will give a fuck about you in life, men won't. Another thing, the huge age gap between you and this scrote is a huge red flag, he wants power and control over you. You are 22, you know nothing. You think you do but you don't. You're incredibly naive and you'll find out the hard way which is a very tough path you will have to walk down to see for yourself what others with more sense were telling you. You're pathetically alone and dying to be loved and adored so you attach and cling to him desperately because you have no friends or other options. He will get tired of the codependency because since you don't have friends, you will be dumping everything onto him, using him as an emotional dumping ground something all scrotes hate and can't even deal with. Men can't even navigate the emotions of a relationship for chrissakes. He will get tired of you because he's most attracted to the novelty of it all. You are a novelty to him and the thing you got going for you most is your age that is all because let's face it, it's certainly not brains. He's with you because young women like you don't know much. He can't get women his age not only because he is a loser no smart attractive woman wants, but he doesn't want women his age because they know too much. They wouldn't take his shit. As I said though, he will tire of this thing with you because he'll be done with the conversations only a 22 year old can provide. With that massive age gap, there are two very different mindsets and maturity levels. But then again he does sound like he has an intellectual disability so perhaps you have more in common than I originally thought. I wonder how he talks about you on the boards he visits? He probably refers to you as 'free pussy,' his 'Dumb bitch cum receptacle,' laughing at and hating on you. I highly doubt he is respectful of you when he's talking about you to the other scrotes.
I would pity you, but you are insufferable and rotten inside. You're male identified, tainted and your mind is twisted.
You deserve what you get.
Anon, i'm not even finished with this intellectually disabled bitch yet:>>691488>i met other guys on 4chan and always had a bad feeling about them and they were always fucked up in some way.>i seriously thought he was gonna kill me in the woods bianca devin style when we met irl
>i have really good judgement.
She just admitted he is fucked up because she initially got some serious murderer vibes off him and her experience with scrotes before tells her bad vibes correlate directly with them being seriously fucked up. Then she's telling us she's got "really good judgement"? Bitch is dumb as a box of rocks. How long before the mask this scrote wears slips? He's only doing enough and acting tolerable so she will become invested in him and by the sounds of it, she already is.
Her gut feeling was trying to tell her this is not a good idea but she overrode it and shut it down. She is retarded.
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I'm an sfm coomer. It's shameful. I need to kms
NTA but they're not all unhinged attention seekers, it's just that all of them will cape for said unhinged attention seekers when push comes to shove and throw any woman, even one who supports poor uguu trannies, under the bus.
I'm not radfem and even I can tell you that.
aw thank you for giving it to me!>>738178
could you say more?
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>sleeping pill addict
>freeloading off rich bf
>delusional lolita/liz lisa fashion cope
>sleeps as much as possible to avoid thinking
>sleeps to avoid explosive bouts of rage
>when forced to be awake, compelled to dress up for literally no reason other than delusional cope
>dresses to avoid explosive bouts of rage
>no hobbies other than 4000 step korean skincare routine
>no interests besides clothes
>boring as shit
>in love with a pigeon
On paper you sound lucky but then given your mental state everything good only becomes a source of stress. I get it. I've been there and now that I've got very little on paper (deaths, abandoned by people, no supports to fall back on) I wish I'd somehow addressed my issues better/sooner. In a way being abandoned gave me a kick up the ass though. Tough way to learn.
Hope you get on top of things.
She's not my dog. She's my brother's and we all take care of her.>>746224
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> laundry list of mental health diagnoses, probably just retarded, age regression x10000, mentally stunted in early teens
> BPDchan with histrionic levels of suggestibility
> Squandered all opportunities education and work wise by becoming a barely functioning alcoholic in early 20s, settle for minimum wage jobs despite being overqualified
> House looks like an episode of hoarders: buried alive
> Suicide baiter, uses shitty mental health for attention
> smells like body odour
This post is still funny
I hope 22 anon broke up with her retarded 37 /pol/ack bf>>861012
This is more sad than cowish imo. You gotta lay off the porn anon, it can really rot your brain.tbh Trannies and futas aren't comparable, especially since most trannies are ugly IRL
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>snooty bpdfag who looks down on self-diagnosers
>cheated on ex gf with two men and one woman because she was convinced her ex judged her for not fucking enough men
>bisexual who hates and is jealous of other bi women for fucking more men than her
>sends piss videos and other degenerate shit to men she meets on 4chan to feel better about the above
>once let an unwashed man sit on her face 20 minutes after they met to feel better about the above
>it didn't work
>cuts neck, cuts the word "dyke" into her body, restricts eating and tells so-called best friends it's their fault for not validating her sexuality delusions
>jealous of the other cows itt for man-fucking related reasons
>overdoses when not getting enough attention
>unemployed, had to give up last job because muh bpd, went to dbt therapy and failed at it
>claims to want to improve life but still obsesses over ex, friends, sexuality issues and tries to trigger herself on purpose
>>861012>Hates men and thinks they're all either degenerates or control freaks
Not a problem unless you think it extremely interferes in ability to function everyday in contact with them (not close contact just like as colleagues or as your boss). >Has multiple dildos
Not the best but if it's less fetishistic and normal content not the worst. Do try weaning yourself off it if you can.>Hates troons
non-issue >reads futa
you gotta put it down especially if you tie hating trans and it together, that is weird. >Pretends to be a lesbian online to deal with cognitive dissonance of hating men and being high libido hetero
Why the usage of the term cognitive dissonance? Hating men for what you know they can be like and having a sex drive as a straight woman, wanting pleasant sexual experiences are not opposing ideas to hold. Pretending to be a lesbian is harmful when people are homophobic and think they only like women due to trauma or hate, etc. You should stop that, and it is bad (especially if you have a large following) but otherwise in the grand scheme of things there's so much other crap hurting lesbians you aren't their biggest problem.>Took own virginity when young bc didn't want a man to get the satisfaction
This is based. Only having the reasoning of it being against men is limited thinking, though a logical reason when men are creepy about virginity. More women should feel comfortable using dildos and masturbating before considering having sex with a man because it's important we learn what we enjoy to be less easily manipulated.>First time a man touched her was during physio therapy
Once again non-issue. If this is about being a KHHV or something like that then that's not an issue either. >Freezes up and dislikes physical contact even with family
Also non-issue. Some people don't like touch for many reasons. I'm sorry if they don't understand.
>>861068>you gotta put it down especially if you tie hating trans and it together, that is weird.
The "girls with dicks" trope is attractive, but I find irl trans disgusting. They're seperate concepts but similar enough that it bugs me. I don't read futa as a hate thing and I'm not attracted to irl trans.>Why the usage of the term cognitive dissonance? Hating men for what you know they can be like and having a sex drive as a straight woman, wanting pleasant sexual experiences are not opposing ideas to hold. Pretending to be a lesbian is harmful when people are homophobic and think they only like women due to trauma or hate, etc. You should stop that, and it is bad (especially if you have a large following) but otherwise in the grand scheme of things there's so much other crap hurting lesbians you aren't their biggest problem.
It's cognitive dissonance because I know I'll never have good and non risky sexual experiences with men. I wish I could just get rid of all sex drive because it's futile and causes me stress.