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I read and post in the GC threads but I actually have a lot of trans friends irl. Sometimes I feel guilty.
My M2F friends all came out as gay before coming out as trans. I suspect they got some serious shit from their families and figured that being a straight woman would be easier than being a gay man and for that, I feel really bad for them. They don't make an effort to look/act feminine beyond how an effeminate gay man looks/acts (nails done, heels, basic makeup, long hair- think Jonathan Van Ness or James Charles) which just kind of adds to my theory. They usually date/fuck gay men or people who have a fetish for trans people/"traps". They're also obsessed with drag queens. I find it all a bit insulting to both women and gay men at the same time but I bite my tongue. Being a woman to them is just a hobby or a way to attract gay men, I've seen it firsthand. They always seem to put their comfort over the comfort of "cis" women so you have to be prepared for that when befriending one. I don't think I'd go out of my way to befriend another M2F trans person, I'm distrustful of ones I didn't know pre-transition. It's easy for a lot of anons to say "Why would you befriend someone like that?" but I knew all of these people pre-transition and it's just one aspect of their personalities.
My F2M friends are generally a lot more chill. Again, they've all announced that they were lesbians before finally becoming trans which makes me feel like it was caused by self-hatred. Some were tomboys as kids like me. I guess I'm still a "tomboy" and sometimes I wonder if I was born a few years later or if I came out to my parents (and was disowned), would I have gone down that path too? They're also way more chill about talking about being trans openly (they'll discuss binding or having periods or taking testosterone while M2Fs would rather you either see them as gender ambiguous or imagine that they've always been a woman and there was no "transition" whatsoever) and I appreciate that. Sometimes I feel like I'm walking on eggshells not to insult M2Fs but I feel very relaxed around F2Ms. One friend's personality changed greatly after taking testosterone and I don't talk to them anymore.
I still use whatever pronouns they ask me to use because they're my friends and that matters more to me than some radfem views I have. I just wish they could be themselves and dress however they want or date whoever they want without having to adhere to some shitty strict gender rules. I wish I could talk to them about things like this without sounding like a "terf" to them. They're genuinely my friends, I'm genuinely concerned for them. I know that the GC threads are full of hate but I don't think it's the solution, from what I've seen getting hate makes them want to be trans and uphold gender roles even more. The threads also have the most extreme cases, most trans people were rejected by their families/friends and just wanted to feel accepted. Instead of finding gay communities, they found the trans community which is a lot smaller and tighter-knit. Sad tbh. Anyway, that's just my take as someone who exists in both trans and GC circles.
Oh god, someone I used to go to high school with trooned out. He was your typical scrawny weeb, had trouble interacting with anyone, played a card game with lolis (they were his waifus that he weirdly humanised while also sexually objectified), and had a tendency to go on rants about how lesbians are the scum of the ducking earth. Like, REALLY long and vicious rants - in a school full of out and proud LGB and with a lesbian mother.
Few years later he’s suddenly a woman, has taken on the name of his high school crush who rejected him, and is apparently a lesbian.
Not me, but my partner had to pretend being friends with him for quite a while because he’d come along during a biweekly group hangout. According to my OT he just complained about how little money he has because he had to buy titty skittles so would expect others to pay for his meals and drinks now that he’s a ‘pretty girl’ (his words), whenever they went to a place with loyalty cards he’d be the one who gets the stamp/sticker/freebie, would stare down all the women that cake along (they very quickly stopped coming), and would still go on very long rants about lesbians - but this time about how much he just LOVE LOVE LOVES them!
I remember that we only found out he trooned out because we saw him in the city in a shitty wig, smeared red lipstick and an aliexpress knockoff Creepy Yeha collar and my OT texted a group chat asking when troon boy started cross dressing fucking lmao
From what I know he has unsurprisingly lost the vast majority of his friends. He was uncomfortable to be around to begin with and now he’s very much the type to claim that every little thing is about him and that the world is out to get him, being a narcissist has this funny effect of making you unlikeable.
I have a few MtF and FtM/nb friends and I like them, I just don't really discuss gender shit since I'm afraid of being branded a TERF for having skeptical/GC views. I guess I'm compassionate but GC. My bf is more terfy than me and I worry about introducing him to them for that reason, but I think he has basically the same feelings as me e.g. afraid to open up too much because of being rejected. I'm softer on transition and pronouns and stuff but just get fed up with current trans politics and I'm kind of of the opinion that nb people who aren't trying to be androgynous or look like the other sex are just trying to cope with sexism, so I feel sorta bad if that's why they're doing it because I was in the same place once. I bounce around about my opinions and that makes having trans friends kind of weird at times but I honestly don't think about them being trans much and take them as individuals/the gender they identify more with.
I've met some people who were pretty tolerable in most ways and/or cool but they had really annoying politics. One of my friends is actually probably what people would consider the typical anime AGP but I think she's a good person and talking to her in a private group chat showed me that she's more reasonable than she appears on social media and has critical thinking skills. Another friend started dating a passing/stealth trans woman and idk how bf and me are going to go about meeting her but she sounds chill and like a nice person as well>>402722
you and I seem to have commonalities>inb4 someone >she 's me
Sister is a troon, i consider us close the closest out of my family, but I wouldn’t say we’re friends. I care about her a ton, and it’s unfortunate, but my family is pretty fucked. I am very guilty of being unable to comprehend her being trans. Like I just want to shake her and tell her her gender identity and sensitivity isn’t worth straining an already tense family life. She’s a lifelong neet, she needs to get a job, her first, learn to socialize and understand how the world works before deciding to dismember herself and ostracize the only people who will help her along the way. I have a very hard time sympathizing for someone who thinks a new gender will give them a second opportunity at life, like my sister seems to. But she’s my sister, so of course I love her, but I do know if she does decide to get surgery, I’ll be honest with her, and ultimately probably lose her entirely to this mental disorder.
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What is it about this smile? I know what you mean. Its not a normal smile. Its a scary smile.
Glad you got out of that situation OK anon.
I have a FtM friend. We are childhood friends, knew each other since we were like 7. He decided to transition like 2 years ago. I don't really see him as a man, (I respect the pronouns) however, not really as a woman either. He has always been different.
I am not a GC/TERF/whatever exactly but I am pretty skeptical of all the recent trans stuff. Specially knowing the family history of this friend of mine I am pretty convinced all of these people are at least bit fucked up mentally and have deep serious family ans self problems which it's just unfortunate, so I try to be empathetic. I don't know up until when transitioning actually helps with their problems, I think a lot of it is trying to cope with mental illness in a wrong way (changing my gender will improve my life and save me). But I also believe they should be able to, even if their motivations come from tumblr brainwash.
I'm much more critical when it involves children transitioning, and when people talk like being trans is just so normal omg just accept it lol like they are not like 0.0001% of the population and this is a complex and fucked up problem that needs to be treated as such (still, I think we need to respect the people themselves).
That being said, I confess I am WAY more wary of MtF's tho, since I think a lot of it has to do with AGP and all that sexual weirdness that freaks me out. I think some of them are legit but most are just a messed up mind and do it for sexual pleasure, to emulate the anime girl they would like to fuck or something.
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>>402870>I actually went on a date with a MtF a few weeks ago
Anon why… I'm glad it didn't escalate further. I have yet to meet a transbian or bi troon who isn't a predator creep, even creepier than normal men.
Gay troons are usually much better, but they still portray women as walking caricatures and are generally annoying with the "I'm more of a woman than many women because I doll up even just to go to the convenience store" bs
>>402996>I worry a troon will end our friendship if I dare disagree
read:mental ill man giving ultimatums to emotionally bully women into entertaining him
what do yall expect exactly lol
I have a few FtM friends and they're based. Never understood the hate they get. I know there's a lot of weird fujoshi ones but those ones don't go outside so I've never run into them; they're irrelevant as far as I'm concerned. As some others here have said, FtMs are way more relaxed and easier to talk to than MtFs. I think I'm only comfortable around them because I see them as butch lesbians. Or like, men lite. They probably wouldn't like to hear that, though.
MtFs are cancer though. Always either incapable of socializing to an annoying degree, or always loud and in your face with no boundaries whatsoever. Shoving their politics into everything and believing people give a damn. No matter how well they pass physically, you'll always be able to clock them as a man because of how narcissistic they are.
I'm really conflicted about this. On the one hand I'm gendercritical, radfem, hate trannies, you name it, but on the other hand I'm also part of a discord server with a few very sweet girls who turned out to be ftm (or more like fakebois). Of course they don't know how I feel about this and for some time I also didn't know that they're "boys". I thought about leaving whenever they bring up terfs etc, because in my opinion this whole thing is just wrong, they're simply young women who were always outsiders, who have niche interests, one has an ED, etc. they're simply not comfortable in their bodies in general and now think this means they're born in the wrong body.
But on the other hand they're also super nice and funny (I mean, they still do behave like normal girls, not like guys) and the trans topic comes up very rarely, so I can tolerate it.
I think another girl is also a against this, she said she's a radfem and I noticed that she reblogs stuff from terf tumblrs, but she also plays along with their pronouns and stuff.
However, being friends with a mtf is absolutely impossible for me. I couldn't contain my hate and disgust towards them.
I really identify with this. I think it is a phase and coping mechanism.
This friend of mine in particular had more then one very traumatic family experience, was kind as tomboyish and liked yaoi and not popular during high school. Had a ED that almost killed her. I can see why all the tumblr brainwash convinced her that her life would be better as a guy.
Still a very nice and funny person and I really enjoy being around them, and I hope that things turn out better for them and if transitioning is going to do that, cool. I don't really think that is the answer, but who the fuck am I. That's how I feel about trans people half of the time.
However, maybe because I can't relate at all to men and their weirdness and sexual fantasies that I am so disgusted by incels and AGPs and can't really have much empathy for them. They all strike me as rapey and narcissistic. Then I get spergy by them trying to infiltrate women's spaces and demanding to change the significance of what being a woman is. Fucking men. FtM people are rarely so pushy and twisted as these people.
I also relate, anon. I love the gender critical thread, but I still love my troon friend. I don't know his reason for transitioning but he also doesn't bring it up a billion fucking times. He's actually just a pretty chill person, though I think the only kind of surgery he's considering is top surgery (I don't fucking blame him. Have you seen what they have to do just to give you a dick?). He's just trying to be him and that's it.
I guess it bothers me most when troons start invading spaces. It actually makes me so mad and I can't discuss it with any of my friends because they're all into the whole "let troons do what they want! They're the gender they say they are!1!!1" and I don't agree at all. Go ahead and be trans, do it if it makes you feel better I guess, but don't complain 24/7 when you transition and you run into problems. Especially if you're a fakeboi/girl
I have one genuinely nice, but obviously troubled, mtf friend who I have known since kindergarten and whose family has known mine for a long time. As a child, they were very shy, socially awkward, feminine and nerdy but she loved music and made many friends in school band. We went to different schools and lost touch for years, but I later learned that she was bullied a lot in middle school and was being medicated for depression. It wasn’t until the end of high school that some friends came in contact with her again and we learned that our old friend had started transitioning. A couple years before, she had come out bisexual.
At first, our friend seemed happier, healthy, actually looked very nice and feminine without really trying and many people around her had been very supportive. I thought it all made sense at the time and she would be one of those to successfully transition and be a happy stealth “normie”. She was making more friends and socializing with a very diverse set of people. Even religious and conservative people liked her. She was never a creepy, perverted or aggressive person and was always been polite. She also didn’t do an extreme 180 personality and image change, so I had no worry about including her in my life again. But after she suffered a series of health problems and an injury that prevented her from working, her depression worsened and she started caring less about her health and appearance. Although she became increasingly involved in local trans activism and made more trans friends, it seemed like her self image and long term goals suffered the more involved she became with TRA circles. She gained a ton of weight and suffered financial setbacks that forced her to go off hrt for quite some time so she ended up not exactly masculine but more like a post-menopausal fat woman. It was honestly shocking compared to a few years ago because she used to be quite attractive and not instantly clockable.
I actually do lean towards radfem and do not buy into the majority of TRA politics but I just feel really bad for her and others like her. I can’t bring myself to hate the mild-mannered, non-aggressive ones that suffer from such self-hatred and confusion. My friend and I both are already in our mid-thirties and the damage has been done to her body, so it’s not like she can just go back to being a nerdy feminine boy again. She has better relationships friends and family than other mtfs that I’ve known but she STILL has never been on a date, can’t drive, never finished college, never had a long-term job and still lives with her aging parents. Years ago, she had said that she looked forward to big changes and finding love after transition. She said she felt like discovering she was trans saved her life. But transition only had a temporary positive effect and now she is really back where she started. Nothing drastically improved like she thought it would. All I can do is be kind to her but I really wonder what her life would have been like had she not started transitioning and lived as a femme, bi man.
The "buy me stuff Im a girl" thing gets me everytime, like bish did you buy random shit for dumb toxic
bitchs when you were a man? No?
I only know two troons, and one only saw once and then never saw again. None are really close friends, and none have ever really trooned out hardcore on me or on social media. One was a transbian on HTR; tried to ask me out (the one time we interacted) but accepted my rejection of his femininity pretty normally and didn't press it. We follow each other on instagram and they have a GF now. The other I know better and he doesn't take HTR or insist on female pronouns but is def on some transbian crossdressing vibe which is sad because he is fairly decent looking guy who makes a hideous girl, and I'm pretty sure it's the reason why he currently single and none of the girls I know who are friends with him would even consider dating him.
I guess I'm lucky in the sense that I've never had a real troon horror story but I think the cost of living in our city is so insanely high it makes it kind of impossible to live here on that BPD crisis 24/7 can't work depression everything revolves around gender type lifestyle that proliferates in other cities like Toronto or whatever.
Cutting ties with people if they constantly insulted me or my way of life, whether accidentally or deliberately, wouldn't be bullying. Neither is having differing opinions or beliefs.
You don't know my friend or my life, she's not a bully.
Aren't teachers not allowed to openly express their views to students, or is that just a thing with some schools. Like you're allowed to have certain things in your classroom but I figured it might be against regulation to have lgbt flags. Idk maybe I'm just dumb and never understood that rule correctly.
Anyway troons like that really peeve me off. I mean it's fine if they're genuinly nice people but how they present themselves seems so fake most of the time.
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Come on sis.
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A friend of mine turned transbian last year. He was always a weird guy, 31, kind of meek and a vocal SJW who used to date one of my female friends. He started dropping hints on Twitter about being trans with vague tweets and then about being outraged by getting strange looks for buying girly sandals and makeup. I don't blame them though, since he has a very masculine build and frame that it was kind of jarring to see him crossdressing. Eventually he came out a trans and crossdressed full-time. Our circle of friends was pretty supportive for the most part, up until the claimed he was a lesbian and identified with autogynephilic tendencies. I respected (her) at first, but as soon as he started taking hormones he completely transformed into an insufferable cis-hating weirdo. He kept wanting to wear slutty, ill-fitting blouses and dresses with no bra so you could see his ugly moobs and nipples. Soon after, he started to enter the female bathroom with us whenever we went out as a group, and it was making us really uncomfortable because we knew this guy for years as a man and now suddenly he decided to become one of us girls (barely passing Hon) and enter our spaces. After we told him that it was making us feel a bit uncomfortable, he lost his fucking shit and started tweeting how trans are superior than cis women and how he wants someone to donate their womb to him so he can get pregnant and have a baby. Last time I checked up on him he was doing drag shows and getting mixed up with really unsavory degenerate shit.
I have an ex-friend of mine I met in middle school who decided she was a fakeboi. At first she identified as FtM, but still wore dresses and had longish-hair and would always go on about how boys can be girly too. But then eventually she rolled back to "stargender" and said she was a they.
I get the impression she first decided she wanted to be FtM because of a combination of factors. For one, she was a huge fujo. Even when we were like 12 she would send me tons of yaoi fanfic and fanart, she even told me she wanted to be a guy for a day, "just to figure out how a penis works," multiple times. She had some sort of sexual trauma she was dealing with too. I think I can kind of blame myself for her trooning out, because when we were about 15 she texted me saying she hated her breasts and wanted to rip them off. I was fully on the tumblr tranny train at the time and suggested she might be experiencing gender dysphoria, and it was sometime after that she decided she was FtM.
I tried to be considerate of it for a few years, I wasn't GC at all back then. But she kept piling more and more shit onto it. A few months after declaring herself male she came to me claiming that she had headmates too, and that's when it started going too far for me. She made tons of incestuous yaoi fanfic to "cope" with her trauma too and would make me read it, she was just using me as her personal emotional dump and it was clear to me she needs therapy, not testosterone.
I finally gave up on her earlier this month when her family was getting their home foreclosed. She didn't want to stay with her relatives because they were "transphobic" and would respect that she wanted to be a they/them, despite making no effort to not look like a girl. She convinced my family to let her stay for 2 weeks, and did absolutely jack shit besides lie on the couch and make a filthy mess, all while talking about gross porn to my younger siblings in the meantime. When we finally yeeted her out after giving her so much free food and board she decided to insult us all for being "rude." I only hope the relatives she's stuck with now hate trannies as much as I do lol
I'm not a troon but can talk about video games like a pro too since I'm very tomboyish
He must act the same as pre surgery like nothing changed and you can notice it just by the 'organic' part
I don't think it's a good idea to let autistic anons become accustomed to troon level conversation and social habits. Troons are abusive
men anyways. I really think it's a bad idea keeping their company or even recommending that women keep their company. Normalization of unhealthy behavior.
I have several experiences, both with FtM and MtF.
The FtM I was friends with was a total asshole. He tried to pass as cis when he still had obvious boobs, fujoshi to the root and would get mad if we asked anything about his personal life, even if we wanted to help. We had a fight over really petty shit and we don't talk anymore but I heard he's still a spiteful shittalking piece of crap.
One of the MtF I met was someone at work, and while she's not really right in the head (self-diagnosed autism, transbian and weirdly religious), she always acted friendly and nice towards everyone. We get along pretty well.
The other MtF is the promiscuos type but we still get along pretty well. We have similar body types, she's on hormones and already had round hips and a small chest, so we borrow clothes from one another and talk a lot about what society expects from women and rant about manbabies.
Luckily neither of them ever said the "but you're cis, you're privileged" to me. I also never treated anyone, male or female, any different unless they proved they are assholes or creepy people. Even if I start ranting about gender norms they usually agree with me. I guess as long you don't befriend the transtrenders and the really fucked up people, there is no difference between them and cis folks.