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I want to draw stuff like this but I don't have the balls to go through with it…
I think most artists have anxieties about sharing artwork especially if its lewd but that is what pseudonyms are for. You get over it quick and if you don't just abandon the profile.>>368071
Similar scenario. My grandmother died recently as well. She had dementia and was very unwell. It was her time. I don't feel sad.
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It really is, but I hope everything goes well for you anon!
You're never alone in these situations so don't let your anxiety get the best of you!
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I have no drive in life; at least not a traditional one. I don't care about success. If I worked a minimum wage job my entire life, as long as it payed the bills, I'd be content. I don't care about traveling "to find myself." If I was stuck in my home country; I don't think I'd be any less enlightened. I don't care if I "find love;" I've found it more trouble than it's worth. If I get married and/or have kids, great, if not, great too. I don't care about owning a home, just having a place to stay. I don't care about my appearance, as far as other people perceive it, like weight or make up. I still take care of myself, and I love nice clothes, but I can also do without. As long as I am learning: usually reading about subjects that interest me, or creating art, I'm always content, if not happy. I have 0 friendships IRL and I don't care. I'm not anti-social or bitter either. I'm very extroverted, I just find there's a certain point I can no longer relate to others, and our relationships eventually fizzle. The other person just stops talking to me out of the blue and I move on.
Also, I can never understand people who constantly have problems and complain about them without making an effort. If you're an adult, you have no obligations to anyone, or any thing. If someone is a toxic piece of shit, or something isn't making you happy just fucking cut it out of your life. I'm referring to drama of course. Some things are harder to escape like a serious addiction or an abuser (for obvious psychological and safety reasons). It seems most people have self-made idiotic problems and it's part of the reason I just spend my life in my room reading/on the web, or hiking in nature. People often strip me of my joy and try to tear me down. I did let it for a while, but then I realized I am an autistic fuck and I like being that way. I don't know why I ever tried to change myself.
a strangely good post
idk if this is okay to post here since it's possibly child sexual assault. I'm not even sure myself because I was so young and I still don't remember anything explicitly sexual happening. but I only realized recently (in the past year or so) and it's been weighing on my mind every day and creeps me the fuck out. I can't talk to anyone about it IRL, and I'm not sure I trust my therapist enough to open up to her about it.
My dad was hella emotionally/verbally abusive to my whole family including me throughout my entire childhood. I've been able to recognize it as abuse since I was 12 because he would irrationally accuse me of attacking him when I wasn't even speaking, so I learned to laugh most of it off. It terrified me when I was a toddler/young girl though.
In the past year or so though, I've started to have flashbacks to him being (accidentally?) physically abusive and possibly sexually as well. It's hard for me to determine because I'm only just regaining the memories and I was so young that I had no concept of sex at all, or pleasure from doing fucked up shit.
He used to come into my room to say goodnight and almost every night he would "crush" me, by getting fully on top of me and putting all of his weight on me. I was between like 3 and 6 during most of what I remember. I would scream and thrash and try to shove him off, making it very clear every time that I did not enjoy it, but of course he was so much stronger and heavier that I would pretty much just have to wait for him to get off of me. He seemed to think that it was funny/that I was exaggerating and really enjoyed it or something. I don't even know. Then he would blow in my ear (yes like that thing men do to women they are dating. like blowing warm air in my ear) and it would make me relax, because it was a natural reaction to a pleasant sensation. I have no idea if he just did it because he liked to feel me relax underneath him, or if he was getting some gross satisfaction from it or what.
One night he came in to "crush" me and I tried to fight him off, but he pushed all the air out of my lungs and I couldn't breathe. He was like 6'1 and at least 200 pounds and I was younger than 6 (I don't remember the exact age but I remember that house and how old I was when we moved in/out so it was somewhere between 3 and 6.) I had to lie there silently with tears streaming down my face, scared for my life, until he finally got off of me. He realized I was crying and gasping for air and he apologized profusely. I could tell he really felt bad about it and I just kept saying "I couldn't breathe. I couldn't breathe." and crying. It was awful. I don't remember if he ever "crushed" me after that.
Just writing this is making my whole body shake really badly. It makes me suspicious that I have repressed even worse memories that my body remembers even though my brain doesn't. Every time I think about this kind of stuff he did to me, I get uncontrollable convulsions.
Within the past month I sent him an email telling him I didn't want to talk to/see him again for a while as I go to therapy and try to process and heal from the shit he put me through throughout my whole childhood. He was very apologetic and agreed to give me space (which is a huge deal as ten years ago he would have just screamed and guilt tripped me for it.) So I'm hoping I can remember the things I shoved down into my subconscious. This was the first thing that popped into my mind completely out of the blue one day, and it makes me really nervous that it's just like a "starter" memory before I can recall even worse stuff. I'm not sure I want to remember. It's so complicated because I just can't know his motivations or why/how he enjoyed it. It honestly sickens me to think about. I hope that was the worst it ever got. I have three older sisters (am baby) and I'm terrified to bring it up to them in case it ever happened to them too. Or worse, that I was the only one going through it.
Sorry for long post. I've never told anyone this before and it all kind of just spilled out as I can't keep it all in anymore.
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I used to read lots of romantic Oblivion fanfiction as a youngster. I liked stuff about Lucien Lachance, Janus Hassildor, Vicente Valtieri, and the Adoring Fan.
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Lots and lots of autism I think. At least in my teens I upgraded to Dragon Age boys. That is until Skyrim came out and I went through a Cicero phase.
Tell me these are at least guys you've known and are familiar?
Can't imagine rewarding randos with sex when you actually don't like them anyway, just seems how should I put it, hateful on yourself?
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I have a little plushie of a sleeping dog. I hold it to my boob and pretend it's a baby nursing. It's incredibly calming and I do it every day. I don't know what's wrong with me, but it's so relaxing that the weirdness doesn't stop me.
I wouldn't mind it if I had a boyfriend who had a foot fetish, although everyone is disgusted by that. Imagine him washing your feet and then carrying you like a princess to bed so your feet don't get dirty again and then doing idk whatever he wants to. Except if he likes dirty feet in which case I take everything back, that's disgusting.>>368546
Alistair was my first husbando and I never finished the game so that nobody would die and they all still happily sit in their little camp in my save (except for Morrigan because nobody likes her)
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i still think about the anon who was sperging about how people should dress up when going outside and the example photo that she posted that looked like a low budget school play gnome costume/snufkin cosplay.
I love this post.. sometimes it really annoys me how some people just can't understand that some of us just don't care about being liked by everyone or being around lots of people
Being happy on your own/with only a few friends is ok
being happy where you are is ok too
A similar thing happened to me. My grandma was the only one in my family who was kind to me and my sister, even though the rest of my father's side hates our guts because they hate our mother (idiotic family feuds started since our birth, I don't care about those fucktards). When she was dying we went to see her one last time. The aunts, uncles and cousins were there and I can't describe the look of sheer hate in their eyes when they saw us. Still, we sent them away from the room and said goodbye to our grandma. She was also the first death close to me I've ever experienced, and yes, it was hard. But at least I don't have the regret of not having seen her to say goodbye.
Go see her
Yeah, I get what you guys mean. It's very different saying things on the internet vs being face to face with an individual. I work at a store that sells women's clothing and the other day a woman and her TiM friend were shopping around and trying on stuff. I felt weirdly… guilty? even though obviously I didn't say or do anything rude and just treated them like I would any other customer. (It's retail, I get paid minimum wage to be here and hate every second of my life, I don't care if you're a dude in a dress as long as you're not being a fucking prick)
Like the other anons said, I guess I'm not too concerned with individual transgender people so much as the larger vocal online community which has so many creepy/predatory/mentally fucked people enabling each other. If you're transgender and just want to do your thing, whatever, live your life and I'll live mine.
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At my old job, there was a boy a year or two younger than me that would do certain stuff to watch me be flustered and(or) because he thought I was cute. He wasn't there for long either because he went to uni on the other side of the country.
Anyway, it would be really subtle things because everyone else was around and could plainly see us. Some of the things he did was standing way too close behind me on purpose when I wasn't paying attention so that I would back up into his chest (he would be facing me too and not even move when he saw me backing up), stand really close so that my face was was right next to his when I wasn't paying attention, clean things right next to me forever while standing behind me so that his face was near my neck and shoulder, and grab my hand or put his hand under mine when I had to hand stuff over to him. He knew I was obviously flustered too and even told me to calm down once.
I liked every bit of it. But only because I'm so touched starved, lonely, and of course mentally ill. I wasn't even attracted to him. I just liked that a guy possibly displayed interest in me and wasn't repulsed to be doing those things with me since I haven't really gotten that kind of attention in my life. (God I sound retarded)
He could have even caught on that I liked it for all I know.
I want more of it - being physically close to a man.
And please don't respond telling me to just hook up with some scumbag on tinder or something, I will never feel comfortable doing that or even uploading pictures of my face online.
God I hate my stunted, weird ass.
I'm happy you guys enjoyed my post, and am glad there's others out there who relate. Honestly, I thought no one was going to reply, or if they did, it was going to be something edgy. I wasn't expecting this kind of a reaction at all.>>368721
You're not alone anon, I did this when I was younger, but with my favorite teddybear. I still do it in a way, before I fall asleep. I hold a pillow tight to my chest and imagine a guy sucking on my breast while I stroke his hair and cradle him like a child. I mean this in a completely innocent, non-sexual way, it doesn't turn me on. Does this make sense at all?>>369214
I don't think there's anything wrong with you anon, I know what you're talking about. I love subtle displays of interest, but when guys are blatant, it repulses me. I want to have an innocent relationship with someone, but it's slim-to-none in this Tinder culture. I hate being told to hook up with someone to get rid of my needs for affection, because that would accomplish the opposite. I don't experience attraction instantaneously like most people do, where they swipe right on a photo like, "Yep, I'd fuck them." It takes a LONG time for me to warm up to a person where their touch actually sets a spark under me. Any rando who touches me, no matter how objectively attractive, is no different than your teacher handing you homework or a stranger tapping your shoulder to get your attention. When I say I want touched, I mean I want someone who I'm close friends with and feel intense affection for, or someone who shows simultaneously sweet, but persistent interest, like the guy you described.
Lmao, because of the texture on the gloves I hope?
Anyway, I wouldn't even consider that too cringe.
First thing I ever masturbated with was the grippy part on my toothbrush
then I graduated to using the ribbed handle on my hairbrush
and then the lulziest most desperate thing was a plastic samurai sword that I won from a carnival
. I told some online friend about that last one and they've given me shit for it since kek.
having kids itself is not a "gold standard" at all. you don't need money or a job or any sort of success to do it, just a willingness to open your legs and a working reproductive system.
I think owning a home (on top of having a family and a career) is the real gold standard these days.
>>369981>parents are obese and trashy
Which is the result of having kids, not the determining factor to have them.
People eat convenient, cheaper, and shittier foods because a family is expensive and time consuming. Parents are often exhausted and so self care and grooming that they did when they were single goes out the window.
Basically the parents have to be selfless for the sake of their children's care and can result in neglect of themselves.
People think it's some meme that your life is over when you have children, but let's just say it never goes back and can change for the worse.
Watching young parents suffer And struggle has been a great birth control for me. They're not getting their youth back.
lets be real, a lot of this comes from both people having children when they cannot 100% afford them, and women having to do 100% of the childcare. imagine you're a new mother, and you have a job, and you have to take care of the chores around the house, a newborn, and cook for your piece of shit husband. cooking homemade nutritious food isn't going to be high on that list.
i know people who stayed thin and put together after having a kid, and people that didn't, and the ones that didn't are lacking in support or money.
I was looking through reviews of wigs and half of them were trannies lmao. Some girls would post their bf in a wig as a joke, but trannies were so obvious with their complete lack of style and hygiene.
On the other hand, I think I’ve seen few men pretending to be girls by taking online photos and being like “this skirt is too short teehee, I guess I’ll flash boys in the summer!”, followed by pictures of girl in skirt that was selling and then a picture of obviously other girl, in other skirt flashing her butt.
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I'm obsessive an I don't know how to stop it. Meditation and "distracting" myself work for small periods of time, but any break of "headpsace" in between, I can't stop ruminating on a single object. This time, it's a person, one of whom I "can't have." I don't want to posses this person and I respect them, but I can't stop repeating our conversations in my head, and finding a new way to get upset from a different light, over and over again. I'm driving myself crazy. I, quite literally, want to throw my head into a wall to make it stop. My brain feels like scrambled eggs; it talks like a chattering monkey on adderall from the time I get up, until I go to bed.
Also, I'm in a permanent state of dissociation. Most people who describe it have a period where everything returns to normal. Mine doesn't. I'm always numb, unfocused, and out-of-body. I can't feel much when I'm touched, or touch something. I can barely muster fake emotions to share when people are talking because my body won't release any hormones to make me feel something and respond naturally. I'm having schizoid reactions to everything around me, when I am not actually schizoid. I want it to stop. I've tried everything, but the only thing that works is temporary distractions like my job or going grocery shopping. If my mind isn't occupied at all times, I go batshit, when I used to never be like this and could spend months at a time alone in my bedroom without leaving the house.
Making some sort of art project (be it visual or text or music etc) could be a constructive and healing way to channel it.
Kinda related, I saw my grandma in her deathbed… cancer. She was barely conscious, high as fuck on whatever they give them to ease the last hours. It never leaves my mind and is the first thing I see in my mind's eye when I think of her. I resent that it somehow replaced all the fond memories. I can't remember a time she wasn't sick…
i think thats the part about it that sucks so much. people always want a last goodbye at a funeral or on their deathbed but that has ruined my mothers image in my head. my memories that immediately surface are her hooked up to tubes or mortician makeup. i hate it. im so sorry you have to deal the with same..
i think that thats something i should explore. i used to paint a lot and be into digital art before she passed but i have just sort of let passions drop off because im emotionally repressed about it.
thanks anon. its morbid camaraderie but it means a lot
I love and appreciate the dedicated anon(s) posting in the dress up thread. The variety is incredible.
I don't know if it helps, but when my sister died I was in the same boat but I stumbled across a death positive youtuber that helped get me out of a bad spiral with death obsession.
It's Caitlin Doughty (Ask A Mortician), I read both her books and it really just helped pull everything back together for me.
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when I see the minus next to threads I don't like every shaygnar one
its p amusing if you can get past the vagina spergging and all the sex work anons complaining about her making money despite low effort work.
the liveblogging of streams are annoying too.
I much preferred having my cousin die of a sudden heart attack overseas and being unable to travel to go to his funeral. I can't stand funerals, it feels like they're not really for me. My mourning is private and I definitely don't want to see people in their deathbeds. That's just something I learned by going to some funerals to "say goodbye". Not for me. I process better in my own way. RIP grandma, grandpa 2 years after, some friends, and my cousin.
Wishing you the best in your healing process anon.
thanks bby. i completely agree with you though. it seems more like a disservice to the deceased to parade them around after the fact. but thats all my opinion.
ive already let my spouse know that i would rather not have a viewing for myself and be sent off to be turned into fertilizer and plant a tree with me. >>371678
thats weird as shit but boy im having a hearty kek. you do you boo. did you just come across them unintentionally or purposely go out and get them?
You're not alone. I've actually sampled all my pet's foods and they definitely weren't palatable but hipster pet food/treat is totally tasty.
Since it's a "confession" here are the things I've tried>canned cat food, various flavors including chicken hearts in gravy -these all taste like gravy or fishy>budgie mix, seeds and weird colored pellets that i don't know the content of -they just taste like those seeds people put in smoothies and shit, pretty good>various flake and pellet based fish food and freezedried bloodworms - fishy or tasteless>all sorts of dog and cat kibble - not umami but somehow meatlike, its gross and has a lingering, strong aftertaste>homemade mammal treats and other hipster pet treats - these are all really good and can double as human snacks
Idk animals make food sound so yummy with their teeth and tongues I guess, I always felt compelled to try em.
Not actually a confession tbh bc I share my animal food reviews with people if it comes up in convo lel
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diff anon but I swear that the milk drop snacks for cats/puppies are just shitty white chocolate buttons
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Whenever I smell apples I suddenly hunger for an apple.
but apples don't have a smell>>371689
tbh if something was disgusting to me i wouldn't want to feed it to my cat but maybe pets' tastebuds are different?
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You've never smelled apples before anon??? Apple smell is delicious!
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Oh my god yes! Some apples don't though, I always found delicious varieties always lacked in both smell and flavor.
Mcintosh and fuji are my favorites. Where I'm from we make apple cider with em during the fall and I can always smell the apples when they start to get really ripe. Mmm.
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I just love farmers so much that it's affecting my real life.
I've always felt too normie for weebs but also too weeby for normies. I thought I was the only one like this but during these past 3 years here on the farm I feel like I've found people like me. You girls are seriously the best. A lot of us share the same experiences, interests and thoughts.
The problem is, I have such a hard time having fun with my irl friends now. I always compare them to you girls here. I catch myself thinking "if I had a friend like the farmers on lolcow we could wear cute outfits together, watch Nana, play animal crossing and talk shit about men". Instead I'm stuck with conversations about how cool Shane Dawson is, how their boyfriends treat them like shit and facebook memes. The few weeb friends I have just talk about Jimin's lips uwu and are generally waaay too autistic.
I just want a farmer friend irl
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>>371847>tfw have farmer friends
While I don't think they really spend a lot of time here, they're really no different than the average gull
I tend to avoid threads that attracts too much sperging but overall, the farmers on /ot/ and /g/ don't feel that psycho in my opinion. In all honesty, we all have problems, even my normie friends can act like total nutcases. Being a salty bitch isn't exclusive to lolcow>>371852
ah do you mean seagulls anon? They seem nice but /cgl/ has so much damn infighting going on that I feel less of a community feeling there compared to lolcow. Also I don't wear any harajuku fashion so overall I feel like I can't participate in their friend finder threads
We have a friend finder thread you can use, anon. You said you were here for 3 years but just in case you could have missed the thread>>371850>A lot of the girls here have some weird af problems anon
Everyone does, even irl to be honest. As long as you don't befriend some creepy bpd stalker or pedo or something here, I don't see what's so bad about wanting to be friends with the girls here.
You're idealizing anons because you're only thinking of the posts you like
That anon you saw make a witty comment about men is probably the same anon in another thread who said she thinks all anime fans are paedophiles by default, or has no sense of what makes an outfit cute.
It's actually the thing I like about anonymous boards though, in one thread everyone is telling me to literally kill myself because of my shitposts, but in another my posts are useful advice or emotional support. We can simultaneously be each others best friends and enemies without even knowing it, I wish people could do this irl
NTA, I'm kind of scared to make friends with farmers in case they try to blackmail me for posting here. There are people I saw in the friend finder who seemed nice/chill, I just don't like the idea of them knowing which posts I make either lol.
I've got a probably reasonable fear that someone here who seems normal might actually be a bitch, even though I'm not really and I've talked to kind people in threads here.
You may already know this, but I certainly didn't until my dad told me.
The film is based on a short story by Annie Proulx. It's even more heart-wrenching than the film.
You can read it here, if you dare. https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/1997/10/13/brokeback-mountain
I'm a little confused bc google says this is a 305-page book, but I'm pretty sure the linked article is the full story. I'm too lazy to look into it rn though.
Personally this was extra sad for me bc my dad is gay and hid it away for most of his life. He grew up in the American south in the 50's. He never had a partner who was murdered
but the existential sadness I feel for him is intense. He's living openly now though and despite the pain and disruption it caused my mother and my siblings, I'm happy he's free now. Sorry for the absolute blog post.
that movie really did it to us all… I feel you, anon. >>372142
you can nude model for art classes
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I like to draw for fun, but I ONLY draw pretty girls, usually from the torso up with large doe eyes and SOMETIMES pretty boys, and stupid memes.
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In HS I was a reverse Shoe/Lainey and lied about my height being several inches taller than it actually was, and wore heels or tall boots almost every day and dressed in monochrome for a ~lengthening~ effect. On my driver's permit is has my height as 3inches taller than it actually is, lel.
I don't know if this is ironic or not, but I don't think it will be a huge deal. I think most people can't tell much difference between 5 and 5'3, though whenever this permit expires I'll definitely be sure to correct this. >>373684
I think that's a little paranoid anon. I'm not a man at all, I just like Touhou. I could understand where you were coming from if the picture was sexualized, or worse the creepy "innocent" kind of sexualized, but at least to me the image is just cute and normal.>>373685
ty anon! next year I will have it sorted out and live an honest life!
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Nothing ironic about lying on your id. That shit is extremely important and you sound too sheltered to know why.>>373713
Sounded like that to me too, what a weird thing to lie about.
They were a teen, teenagers are retards and do dumb shit all the time
It’s not like they had malicious intent or were too ‘sheltered’ to know better, kids lack foresight. And anon probably had their first ID done at 16 which isn’t exactly peak maturity
I don’t think it’s a big deal. I’m pretty sure most people lie about their weight. So why is height is any different?
But if it’s really bothering you, maybe contact the DMV? It might take forever but it might be worth it.
The details you missed were >first license>high school>anon speaking in past tense
I think the problem has been resolved, anon is just reflecting on how it isn't uncommon for teenagers to lie about that shit.
this was cowboy bebop for me. Reading this and people agreeing with you was hella comforting.
I can somewhat relate to this. There was a new coworker at my job who was a ~not like the other gurlz~ type and only talked to the boys but would ignore the girls, she clearly wasn't shy at didn't have a problem socializing when spoken to. She was pretty below average in looks and weeby. All she would talk about was Dragonball Z for some reason and try to explain what memes were to the older women who worked there (cringe) and had an ugly decoden phonecase like it was 2005. I never spoke to her because I clearly didn't fuck with her but she would do a bunch of very specific little things to copy me and I was fucking creeped out down to carrying a pocket knife in her right back pocket like I did because I had to open boxes when stocking. Thing is she was new and never stocked shit….
At one point I was being stalked by one of my uber drivers who kept coming into my job looking for me so after that she tried claiming one of the (literally retarded) employees of the store was trying to kidnap her and hit on her.
I get you. After reading your posts, I realized the girls I've had failed relationships are uglies. Not every ugly girl I've known is like that, but sure the majority were huge creeps, it makes you aware. Is sad how beauty standards affect socialization to such extent..if it wasn't like that below average people would have more tolerable personalities.
I tend to get along with other average girls and cuties. I specially love to hang around with beautiful people. Mostly because so many of them have healthy self esteems and are self assured. Those traits are comfy to me.
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I understand you so much rn anon. I searched for something comparable for human consumption for years after I ate the hamster food. Closest I found were some hippy dippy company called “berg bites” and they taste almost the exact same. #petfoodeatersunite
An easy way to finding out whether you're a sociopath or not is:
If you're wondering whether you are one and are scared of being one, you are not a sociopath
. Sociopaths don't see sociopathy as something bad.>>374333
They all want actual women to be jealous of them so badly when really all their senses should tell them that actual women who leave the house looking like them would be put down mercilessly by men.
idk, never been diagnosed.
like on other hand i'm pissed off at them since they spend so much time making me feel awful and they did it knowingly, like the things they said weren't just some mistake but now i just keep thinking that if they're not crazy they must feel awful and panicked about it and i don't want that happen either, whoever this person is.
I feel the exact same way, and was actually going to confess this before I read your reply. I guess the only thing is, I'm straight? maybe. I find men sexually attractive, but they are utterly impossible to get close to. Women, I've had romantic feelings for, but outside of wanting to kiss or caress her, my physical feelings end there. It's a horrible limbo. Anytime I feel emotionally close to a guy, he puts me on the backburner to pursue women he finds more physically attractive, but still asking for a fwb from me (which I will never do). I know if I pursue a lesbian woman, she will want to go further physically, and I'm not sure I'll be able to enjoy it enough to make her happy as well. Fuck me.
keeping him in a relationship with someone who doesn't want/love him is more unfair than dumping him, I think. Break up with him and let him find someone who wants
to be with him, you will both be happier in the long run. Otherwise you might start to resent him later and it'll get even worse.
I feel you. I feel you so much. I have this every time I ride trains/metro. The only way to cope with it for me turned out to be closing my eyes at the exact moment the train will "hit" me if I stepped forward and hearing the crunching sound, seeing what a mess I would be making and how everyone would be late everywhere.
Somehow this helps.
Relevant reading. I have a friend who's a train operator, tells me that it'd be a bad choice because a) For the local metro it'd have a ~40% of working and b) Ruins the world a little bit more. Stay safe Anons.
On topic, I have this great fear that I'm never going to have a job that pays decently, has a manageable commute, and doesn't eat my soul.
I kind of look forward to the eventual death of my grandparents.
I kind of hate most posters on this website but I don't know of any better alternatives so here I stay.>>371798
lmao same. And I used to be kind of vocal about my dislike of kpop too. Hoping it's just a phase.>>373362
I think that's pretty common.
I feel like I'm walking on eggshells most of the time in order to avoid starting an infight and get unjustly banned/warned when it's just the other side overreacting. I don't know if this is true but I feel like this place was a lot less uptight in its earlier days as I've only been served warns/bans beginning from the past year or so.
And also I just don't share the perspectives of LC's consensus on so many topics.
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I know 6 different men who are cheating on their girlfriends/wives but I can't tell anyone because it's all with me
Yeah I have two jobs and never sleep, it's usually at work or after, it kinda helps some of them work with me
I'm just in one of those "I've slept with too many guys with girlfriends I'm afraid to become one" type things
sorry anon, but its really sex-addict anon who comes on to these guys in relationships.>>381873
you do know there are single men in the world, dont you think it would be a little better for them and the women they are with if you stopped fucking around with guys in relationships?
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Not that anon but this post >>381873
sums it up pretty well. I don't expect all the people here to be mentally sound but yikes
I gotta get off this website
You're not wrong, I just stopped caring about myself tbh>>381958
Yeah but it's there job to say no and they always come onto me, yeah sure I'm scum whatever but their relationship isn't my problem since whores like me will always exist but it's their job to stay loyal, not mine
>>381958>its really sex-addict anon who comes on to these guys in relationships.
She wasn't the one who broke her commitment to be in a loyal relationship, they did. They are the only ones accountable for cheating.
Her only responsibility is to get help for her sex addiction. Bitch sounds like she's really hit rock bottom.
its shitty from both sides anon sorry. the males you have been with of course are responsible for their own actions, but if you had prior knowledge of them being with someone else, that makes you just as guilty and a part of the statistic that all men are cheaters.
how do you think the women in their lives would feel if they knew? and on top of just finding out that their beau is unfaithful but that the woman they were with knew and clearly didnt gaf enough to keep her pussy in check. you arent responsible for them but you are in full control of you unless you know, they forced you, then thats a whole other scenario altogether.
i frankly dont care that people have casual sex, get yours, but its fucking scummy to willingly engage with people in relationships.
You should look into some kind of counselling, anon. Not respecting yourself and others just means that nobody will respect you either and that will just lead you into a black hole when it hits you.
Everyone I've ever met who is willing to play second fiddle and be the side piece has had low self esteem and tbh you don't really sound like an exception.
Don't you think you're worth more than just an easy lay for scummy men?
lmao how can you be so confident but have so little self-esteem? serious question. im actually in awe
just make sure to get tested and make them wrap it up.
Yeah they're clean I always check their records at least, I'm just very careless with myself tbh>>382117
That's fine, I guess it's just my carelessness, just nothing feels real to me anymore
It's okay anon, a lot of people would have laughed at my personal failures and pettiness if I were dumb enough to overshare about it online too.
In fact I think it happened a little for me during the MySpace era from about 2007-2010, but I was fortunate enough to start snapping out of my attention whore phase when I realized I had fake friends and everyone laughed behind my back.
Are you going to continue to date him though?
No offense anon, but it's pretty doomed, and regardless if you admit it or not it will always remain on your conscience. That's a heady burden to bear in a relationship.
Can't speak for you, but when I cheated on my bf little did I know that I did it for a reason (unlike men who cheat just because puss is offered), and I kept silent as well but wound up breaking off the relationship a couple years later. For the same reasons that caused me to cheat. It's just a waste of your time to be with someone who makes you want to cheat as opposed to being with someone whom you'd never want to betray in that way. I don't know your exact circumstances, I just know cheating is a bad indicator and not such an innocent mistake.
I've had the same crush for fourteen years now and he hasn't seen or thought about me for half of those. He doesn't like me and we'll never talk again but I still can't get over it.>>382201
Haha, nice. I named a fish after a girl I wanted to be friends with in middle school. Then I told her about it once, which was a mistake. I think it'll work out okay for you - it's not like he has a reason to be offended.>>382217
Same, basically every gossip forum has some sort of legacy or inactive thread mechanism.
I mean you made the choice to cheat on him, it didn't just happen to you magically.
Cheaters are so disgusting.
>>382242>we've just been in a relationship for a while and things happen? that's the only excuse I can give
You shouldn't be giving yourself an excuse. You fucked up and damaged the relationship (whether he knows it yet or not.) You're clearly not content with him if "we've been together for a while and things happen" sounds to you like a valid
excuse to be unfaithful. makes it seem like you're bored and looking for fulfillment from other people. That's a big problem for the relationship, whatever your motivation. Even if it was a "one-time thing", it's still a big betrayal. If "things happen" now, they can "happen" again.
Is there any way he could find out from someone else? if there's any chance of that, you should just bite the bullet and confess, or it'll be 100x worse if he learns from someone else. Then it's betrayal and lying.
agreed, i can understand cheating for reasons that have to do with emotional issues, being neglected, feeling like your relationship is over and that he's already moving onto someone else, etc, i think there are definitely some reasons why cheating is more acceptable, but yikes, this really is malethink, and to not think it's not a problem and like people are entitled to taking advantage of other people's sexual health. luckily for anon's bf, it's unlikely that she should pass anything to him considering transmission is more difficult from female to male, but it's still super shitty. worse yet knowing that the bf is 'great'. >>382302
no, life isn't black and white, but there are more understandable reasons to cheat. she obviously does not feel bad about it at all. there's a serious problem with betraying your partner for no reason and sleeping in the same bed with them knowing you've betrayed their trust for no reason and continually lying to them as if it's nbd. i can understand if she had issues with him or had mental health problems, or the relationship was already terribly rocky, etc, but there's no reason for this unless she's high or drunk? there are a series of steps that give you plenty of time to go back from before actually fucking someone else. though, ultimately, if she does want to fuck other people this much, she really should just let him go so he can be happy with someone else that doesn't play it fast and loose with his health and trust.
Cheating is only bad from a cultural standpoint, similar to how not long ago, pre-martial sex was considered the devil and anyone who dare do it ruined forever and will never be salvaged, women showing ankles is considered evil and slutty, even a woman going to a man's house was considered wrong and unmoralistic, for all we know in a couple of years from now cheating won't even be a thing unless there's a marriage involved and people will just look back at us and scratch their heads as to why faithfulness or unfaithfulness was so big and made to be such a big deal
Now before you are quick to attack me, explain to me how having romantic and sexual relationships with multiple people, if it wasn't embedded in our culture to be faithful, is wrong, assuming the sex is safe of course
If you can't find a legitimate reason as to why it's as wrong and evil as you're trying to make it out to be, then you are proving my point
It's wrong because people enter a relationship under the condition that their partner be faithful. If they don't want or need that condition, they make a different agreement and THEN fucking someone else is ok. Keeping promises is an ethical concept even kids understand so I'm not sure how you're struggling with it.
It will stay wrong until people change their mind about what they will accept in a partner, until then you either stay single or seek an open relationship.
So the issue is the broken promise, not the actual fucking
People break promises all the time, petty ones, hell you probably even broke a few yourself, humans simply aren't meant to be monogamous, socialization is a weird thing, yes it sucks yeah the person is going to be upset but IMO relationship business should just remain between the people in the relationship until there is abuse
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Sometimes I read the “do I pass” threads on /tttt/ of trannies telling other undeniable trannies they pass. It makes me giggle. Strange world over there
- the vast majority of people don’t want multiple partners, they want to be sexually exclusive and have one true partner that they can be completely open with and not have to deal with feelings of jealousy/inadequacy
- if being to sleep around and be promiscuous is of such great importance to you and think that those that are monogamous are idiots that don’t understand true human nature then either a) stay within your enlightened poly community, or b) stay single and sleep around as the majority of the world doesn’t agree with your niche viewpoint and are perfectly content eventually settling down and not break each others trust in each other
- you also ignore that a big part of monogamous relationships is having a stable family unit, pregnancy lasts 9 months, infancy 4 years, and dependency a minimum of 16 years. Yeah, most people would want to form a monogamous family so the kids all have the same parents and so that parenting decisions can be made unanimously without the input of non-parental figures
Again, all of these revolve around culture rather than fact, which is my point
Think of cultures and civilizations where the thought of monogamy vs polygamy didn't even pop into people's heads
The only issue with cheating is breaking trust and lying, but even then in that case there's people who lie and break others trust all the time and it's not as blown out of proportion as cheating is
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Jealousy is a normal human reaction and monogamy is a normal human disposition, it has jackshit to do with the idea that "showing ankles is bad".
Have a (You) though
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oh look, I found a comic just for you, anon!
I hate my sister's husband so much. He makes constant misogynistic and racist jokes to our faces. He sends "funny" videos that usually include some naked, fat woman dancing or just gross fetish videos that he thinks are hilarious to our family's group chat that is normally used for sending vacation pictures and similar events. We ended up creating a new group chat without him, which he of course got upset by when he found out.
He moans and chews loudly while he eats. He's obese and has sleep apnea, so he needs one of those machines to help him breathe during the night, but only laughs it off and calls himself "indestructible" when the doctor has told him that his condition is so bad it's a miracle he's not dead already.
Because he's overweight, he's always sweaty, always grunting and gurgling and making disgusting noises. My sister is overweight too, but since they now have a child together she has taken steps to lose weight and make sure to feed the kid healthy meals and encourage him to try new things, even if she doesn't like the taste herself.
Meanwhile her husband will sit at the other side of the table during family dinners making gagging noises and pretend to throw up whenever his kid eats a vegetable, which of course the kid who is barely 2 years old picks up on and then refuses to eat. And when both my sister, our older sister AND our mother tells him to stop, he will say "it's just a joke" and "this is what happens when there's only women in a family, you all turn into humourless cows".
That's another thing. My mother threw our abusive dad out of the house years ago and started building a strong community of only women around herself after being alienated from us for so long. It's the best thing that ever happened to our family and we're all very close. Going on trips together, planning parties together and always supporting each other. I'm pretty sure that he feels threatened by the fact that there's all these women who will tell him to shut the fuck up when he's being rude, because his own mother spoiled and is still spoiling the crap out of him.
My mother has straight up said that if he doesn't better himself, she's gonna bring my sister and her child home to live with her, because she doesn't want her grandchild to grow up with a father calling his mother a 'bitch' to her face during family dinners, or just generally turn him into an awful person.
What infuriated me the most was that our mother confessed to me that she sees a lot of our dad's early abusive behaviour in my sister's husband. She's spent all these years healing from the trauma, only to watch her own daughter possibly about to go through the same thing.
His only redeeming qualities might be that he works very hard at his job and have moments of being more genuine and affectionate with my sister. Sad thing though, our dad also had his nicer moments, but it didn't stop him from tearing apart our family and sowing fear and tension that it took years to repair.
I mean I know that. I said in my post I know they don’t want friendship I just got so lonely and desperate I guess.
My post might make more “sense” if I add some more context though: I’ve been depressed for a while but since I’ve experienced a rape last year and some other sexual assaults/harassment I’ve started sometimes feeling really depressed and fucked up and like I deserve bad things to happen to me so I almost purposely go out of my way to put myself in danger. I’ve gone out for walks late at night in dark places, I’ve hung out in places where I’ve been sexually harassed before at night, sometimes getting myself drunk before I do so. Sometimes I fantasize about getting kidnapped and raped and murdered. I'm addicted now to the thrill of that kind of behaviour.
My boyfriend emotionally abuses me. When he gets angry with me, he insults me, he tells me horrible things and convinces me that I deserve it. What hurts me the most, is when he decides not to talk to me to punish me.
And I know, I know that I deserve someone better, that I could be with any other person in the world, I know that no one deserves to be treated as he treats me, but for some reason, I have learned to live thinking this is what I deserve.
My parents were alcoholics since I was little. Currently, my mother is dead and my father does not even live in the same city where I live and we barely have contact. Having to keep those secrets for years (until they divorced, when I was a teenager), only made me want to fit in every way possible. I let people use me, friends to ignore me, convincing me that if I did not, I would be alone.
I ended up having a group of friends for whom I am always the second option, a family that ignores me because they have better things to think about than me, and the few people who care about me … I'm ashamed to have to tell them everything I'm going through, because the truth (and this is my confession), is that I love him very much.
When we are well, when there is no discussion, he is the best person I could imagine and I know that at those moments he loves me and cares for me (he is a very distant and cold person with other people but me). He shows me in all possible ways and has done things for me that even people who have known me for more than 20 years have not done or would do. I know it will sound as if I'm defending him, I wish there were more reasons to be this bad, I wish I could say that he is a horrible person and that he deserves to be left alone, but the truth is that he has problems containing his anger, he has problems managing his emotions. And I end up paying for it.
That's the problem. Maybe there are three discussions a month, not even many, but the things he says are repeated over and over in my head and I can not stop crying for days.
It's as if all these years I tried to convince myself that I deserve to be loved, that I deserve to have people by my side, and then all those people, who are supposed to love me and take care of me, repeat how lonely I am I because I am useless, that nobody supports me, that I am a disgust of person.
That, along with the fact that my friends ignore me, they never have time to see me, they never ask me how I am, it makes my head not convince me otherwise.
I know what people will probably tell me, to seek help, to get out of all this, that it is better to be alone, but sometimes it is not so easy to leave everything behind. If I lose him, the only person who stays by my side (despite the arguments), I have nothing. I do not have a job, I do not have a house, I do not have anyone to turn to. I'm stuck in something that I've searched for myself and I regret a lot of living my life like that. There are days where I just do not want to continue with all this.
My life is a shit since I have use of reason and this is just a bump in the road, something that makes me think in days like I could end it all.
My parents were alcoholics since I was little. Currently, my mother is dead and my father does not even live in the same city where I live and we barely have contact.
holy shit anon, are you me? this is my exact situation.
you do deserve to be loved and supported. you deserve to be dating someone who makes the effort to control their temper and not use you as their punching bag. you are a whole person with as much right to be happy as him, he shouldn't be taking his stress out on you and then expecting you to just forgive and forget it.
Guess that's everybody since anime is so normal now. This type of extreme thinking is cringier than your average anime fan and makes you sound like an edgy 18 year old who just got out of their weeb phase.
Sorry, but this meme is just so played out lol.
i used to shoplift food to feed my family when we were in a huge money pit. i stopped as soon as things were better. i know its nice to get things just because you wanted them and there be no financial repercussions but man its really not worth it. too much stress and then the possibility of spending a night in jail for some makeup or a t shirt is lame af
makes me think back to a couple years ago when the tumblr shoplifting dox was going on, omg it was great.
Same boat, man. I didn't think a relapse would look like this, but here I am.
Take care of yourself the best you can, and be as safe as possible.
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Wow you are really triggered
. Only children and maladjusted weirdos like anime.
Not all only children! I never liked anime. (I am perhaps a little triggered
I really like it too. But as >>383541
mentioned, I can’t cum from it but I enjoy how it feels. Orgasm isn’t the most important part of sex for me but it is for a lot of other people
Why are orgasms generally not important for women, but it's just expected that a man always gets to orgasm?
I've always found that women who say that are coping hard with the reality of their sex lives.
I used to say I didn't care about having an orgasm until I met my current bf who's a great lay and makes me cum during 99% of our sex session.
Ultimately it was just a cope because I couldn't imagine being with someone who took the time to make me cum every single time we had sex.
>>383575>Imagine if cunnilingus were as commonly expected as fellatio.
I think it’s becoming that way imo I see a lot more dudes being really into it. And if you’re not into it you get made fun of.
Honestly, if you’re into women and don’t eat pussy, you’re a fucking coward. Which leads me to the confession that my gay ass really wants to get a girlfriend and eat her out.>>383520
Don’t give up hope anon, try to look into why you eat the way that you do and how to cope with it. I have a problem with binge eating, but what really helped me was writing down why I wanted to binge and my urge would immediately stop. You can do it anon, I believe in youuu!
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I want a Japanese character tattoo and I’m scared of fucking up
>>383562>>383575>>383586>women who say that are coping hard with the reality of their sex lives>it’s so obviously wrong and any woman who masturbates knows this
It feels kind of shitty when people say this because I’ve never even come remotely close to orgasm despite my husband and I having tried practically every trick in the book. He loves giving cunnilingus and using toys on me but I never feel any pleasure. Masturbation doesn’t do anything for me either. Neither does penetration, but at least with penetrative sex one of us is enjoying it so it doesn’t feel like a complete waste of time.
It’s not something I ever talk about with anyone else yet I still feel guilty like I’m somehow hurting other women by perpetuating the idea that female orgasm is super elusive. But it’s true for me…
I'm not coping with my sex life. Orgasm does not feel that special to me, no more special than the other aspects of sex. I enjoy the physical closeness, emotional comfort far more… Orgasm comes like #3 on my list. It is actually annoying to have stimulation down there, and I don't like my partner touching me while we are engaged. No one else needs to have the same expectations of sex as I do.
You are jumping to a pretty big conclusion by labeling people who don't like the same things you do.
Orgasm absolutely is elusive for me and that has nothing to do with my partner.
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I think it's very cheap to go after Thomas Kinkade's art and I LIKE HIS ART.
There's nothing wrong with this and there's nothing wrong with wanting to be draped in the comfort of a nice, calming cottage scene. Just because it's commercialized and his art is woven into 12 x 12 throws owned by every other family in the Midwest does not mean it isn't enjoyable or nice art and it's very cheap to go after it. It's like shitting on Bieber. It's just too easy, and Bieber is a talented young man who does make good tunes. I think it's very pathetic to go after such generally enjoyable and light-hearted media.
Not to trigger
anything, but how is this high enjoyable for you? When I abused it, I would get nauseous in the most unpleasant way imaginable for hours and itch like a madwoman.
Will agree that benadryl knocked me out like a rock though.
I abuse Delsym which is basically pure dxm, the only really awful part is drinking it down since it's got a plasticy feel. After that I'm just sorta.. drugged out, I used to be addicted to opiates so I guess it reminds me of that? And then I lay down and it just feels like.. floating through space with a blanket.
It's really not all that great but like I said, I'm a very impulsive person and I sort of.. robotically go and down it. I need to go back to a rehab program but I'm desperately searching for a job and I'm hoping that'll help end my urges, or just the way I act out on them.
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I fucking LOVE getting kissed on the cheek
Mouth kisses are overrated
Stop that! Self harming with sex is one of the worst things you can do to yourself. You're not disgusting for doing it, but you are harming yourself which isn't ok. You have the rest of your life ahead of you, don't spend it being cruel to yourself. If you can, try seeing a LGB friendly therapist. It will help loads even if it feels silly at first.
Love you Anon, I hope you feel better soon. Heart eyes
They definitely are. Nothing cringier than being this upset over media lol. Seems like my post really triggered
them too so you know I hit the nail on the head.
the internet has taught us that we have no worth unless we can humble brag on instagram or facebook and come up with a witty comment about it on twitter. but thats all bullshit. if youre happy then cool, you do you.
turns out, being 'average' is actually kind of nice.
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I made a thread and it was going great at first but now after multiple threads, it's kind of gone done hill and there's obvious underaged/normie posters everywhere
and don't get me started on the cow tipping
At this point I regret making the thread
Most robots are selfish autists and narcissists. They lack empathy, they think only in tunnel vision of what benefits or doesn't benefit themselves. I wouldn't recommend getting yourself too involved thinking that they've changed much at all over several years.
I think it's okay to have a curiosity of what they're up to on the grounds of being 4chan cows, but don't expect much.
>>385287>I feel like my life has been too easy, so I don't sympathize with people who were bullied. Nor do I sympathize with minority advocacy groups like ones for Asians, atheists, or women.
It's fine, great even, to not have been bullied and that you felt comfortable and accepted.
Now, I think you should check that lack of empathy as it's not required to have been victim
of the same stuff to sympathize for other person's pain.
Thing is I don't have to try, I'll always end up in a situation where I'm alone with a man and end up fucking him
It will start by doing things such as training new employees, carpooling, or my roommate will bring one or two over to fix something
Mind you this is how it starts, once I've fucked them I'll voluntarily start having them come over and whatnot, however I only give them a call back out of my own freewill and if they were good or not, I've definitely been a ghost to some who just sucked at it
I hope you know you are known as the town whore in all those guys group chats and they share photos of you and discuss your physical flaws in great detail
Love yourself anon. Buy some sex toys instead
I don't see how it's your problem.
A man's infidelity isn't your responsibility.
You should stop because these men are dangerous sociopaths and liars. If they can lie to their 'loved' ones, they can lie to you too about…oh say, like raging STDs.
That's why you should hate them and feel bad for fucking them, because they are inherently hateful men.
guys don't nitpick looks, females do
are you aware you're on a female dominated board?
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Funny you mention
I'm afraid of becoming a pedophile.
Since I was 12 years old, I always had this sense of being responsible for younger kids. I always tried to become someone they admired, some sort of "role model". Not to all kids, but only for the quirky/shy ones, because they reminded me of my younger self, who had a lot of respect for teenagers and older kids (in my mind, they always seemed to be from another planet and I kinda wished to have a bond with one of them). I guess having two younger brothers also played a good part on that side of me.
Growing up (16-18 years old) the satisfaction I got of "being admired" didn't go away. I even started to develop a "motherly" feeling for cute younger kids. Bonus points if they were shy and introverted.
I don't know, but if I can get an smile out of these kids, I feel so proud and happy. I don't really feel atracted to them, I hate shotacon or lolicon and find that shit very disgusting and disturbing. But I can't help the urge of wanting to adopt a cute shy kid whenever I meet one… I want to isolate them from society so they won't become a teen/adult with shitty morals and idelogies. I want to take them to Disneyland, to watch nice movies with them, to teach them things, to help them achieve their dreams or some romantic shit idk.
I've been told this is just nature (like, maybe my womb wants to make a baby of something, ha) but I'm not sure. There's this kid who takes music lessons an hour just before mine (he may be 10 years old), and since I cheered for him on a concert we had and he smiled at me, I've been trying to make him smile again everytime we meet (that is, the ten seconds he takes to leave the classroom and look briefly in my direction befores he goes downstairs). I think I've never heard his voice, he's really really quiet and calm. Wish I could talk to him a bit.
Btw, I'm 19 now, and I just hope this situation doesn't become a fetish of some sort when I reach adulthood…
>>386435>jump straight to pedophilia>but my feelings aren't sexual! ever! gross!
Hmm, smells like a bluff. You wouldn't jump to that conclusion if it didn't ever veer into that territory.
What you detailed otherwise just sounds very maternal/caring, the sort of nature perhaps a teacher should have (although you should know boundaries ofc and not get carried away). Just more dedicated to children's wellbeing than the average adult, if it hadn't been for the pedoshit I'd swear my mother could have written it haha.
But don't lie to yourself. If you've thought of fucked up shit get help.
How did you write all that and not once mention whether or not you are sexually attracted to children? That's what a pedo is, if you aren't then wtf are you rambling on about?
Unless you're lying to yourself, you just sound like a weirdo who finds kids cute. Get a grip.
I feel the same anon, I don't know what it is, I really do try but even in pretending to care about certain women's issue (for example: society pressures to look good) generally I can hear the fakeness in my voice. I do like being friends with other girls, I just magnify their flaws. Even with media, I find it waaaay easier to hate female characters/celebrities/strangers on tv. And I automatically dismiss everything made by women. I am trying to rewire my brain (because I know logically it's dumb) but it's actually relieving knowing someone else is the same. I feel extra bad because everyone thinks I'm a super good feminist irl (I do believe women should have equal rights as men).
[Sorry I keep deleting becaus of errors in typing].
This is self hate, surely. >>386392>his cum is like battery acid
I lol'd, sorry Anon. Make him eat some fruit
Were you raised religious or in a more traditional culture? that would help explain it.
I know what its like anon but we have to make a good life for ourselves somehow.
Not even, my mother married multiple times…but she did shame both sexes for being promiscuous (ONS and FWBS) regularly in our discussions during my teens. She also questioned my clothes when I was younger a few times which, although minor, may have stuck with me. Always felt gross about it. On top of actually falling for some weird purityfag rhetoric online maybe it stuck together.
How have you coped with these feelings? Might not be the right thread to ask in. But I feel like even if I lose my virginity in a LTR and we break up I'll be "used." It's awful.
Reading women's history and getting more acquainted with feminism helped me, personally. And I don't mean the soft corporate feminism that sells you empowering yogurt and complains about trivial things. Learning about the history of prostitution and knowing people involved in it was very moving, I met some very kind hearted people and read about women thrust into horrible circumstances. The emphasis on purity and virginity is hypocritical and inconsistent. Virginity can only be valued at the expense of others, you can't be a person that is good and equitable to others while pedestalizing virginity. In a sense I thought of it as a reflection of the sort of person I wanted to be and how I wanted to relate to others.
It also helps to look at the sort of men who are gaga over virgins, so much of their professed preference comes from a point of hate and misogyny. By contrast men who didn't care seemed better adjusted.
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>>386746>I feel real sad that I wasn't born a bi man instead. I could've just become a bear and fucked a bunch of bottoms without having to worry about societal judgement/having to keep my virginity.
BUT to kind of piggyback off your post, it really makes me see why fujo fakebois do what they do. Men in general can be as slutty as they want and no one bats an eye and as a woman you have to worry about all kinds of shit. If you pose as a man, you don't have to worry about societal judgment and have the advantage of hiding behind trans rights people then you're pretty much supported and free from that judgement.
Idk if this has already been said in the fakeboi thread but yeah.
Stop dreaming about writing that book and just start working on it. Dreaming about it won't make you a writer but you clearly have things you want to say.
Aim to write a page a day of utter shit, it gets the ball rolling so on your off days you can edit it down.
I won't lie, most people don't care about this stuff or what your suggestions for society are, but people like articles and books by sex workers so that might give you an in if you ever get it finished.
I would love to read your book.>>386930
is right, work every day a little to make your dream come true. I believe in you anon and I want you to be happy.
You sound like you were neglected. Obviously seeking some form of validation. Like you’re acting out the stuff your inner child wishes that adults could have done for you. Or something.>>386914
Are you shayna? How is entertaining gross assholes for hours on end less exhausting than taking car hop orders. Stop having self-defeating thinking. You can get a vanilla job if you truly want to, but I bet you won’t because you think you’re too good for minimum wage. >>387158
Don’t get mad at westerners. Get mad at men.
I know most users on here are from 'murica or not poor fag countries but can you please not assume anyone posting on here is American or from a country where you can actually survive working a minimum wage job? You don't even know my circumstance yet you assumed I declined the opportunity to work a minimum wage job and be able to support myself working that job for camwhoring. I worked minimum wage jobs before and I could definitely not afford living on 300 euros per month, I used to live in a shared apartment and I would pay 160 for my rent and utilities but I could just not get by with the remaining money for the rest of the month, I would end up shoplifting because I didn't have money for food. I tried working in call centers a couple of times for a better pay, around 450 euros but I got fired from 3 call center jobs because I was just not fit for that sort of job for some reason. I could save up some money and try to move to a country with a better economy but I'm just scared and I feel stuck and worthless.
This is the drama I'm talking about, a lot of women from troubled backgrounds or a lot of women from less developed countries end up doing this kind of work and it destroys them. I'm not talking about American young and attention obsessed sluts like Shayna that think sex work is the next best thing after the discovery of fire.
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A few years ago a girl in my neighborhood suddenly died in her early 20's of a heart attack. she used to be such a mean cunt to me along with some other girls. sometimes when i think about her sudden death, i can't help but smile and be happy about it. i usually hope that any person that is or has bullied me or treated me horrible for no reason dies. Lately I've been fantasizing about the day my dad finally dies.
I know it's not normal or healthy.
Don't feel bad… some people view staying in a relationship when you're not interested 5eva in as the worse thing to do.
You shouldn't have to continue your relationship if you feel it's draining you of your energy. If you'd be happier spending your time alone, then that's you queue to leave. She sounds like she's not a good fit for you anyway.
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I've had this on my mind for a while now, but I haven't really told my friends about it because then they'd just question my drive and what exactly I am going for nowadays.
I have been wanting to enlist in the Army for a while now, but after a discussion with my dad who is a Marines veteran and my grandpa who is a Vietnam veteran, I am really starting to question if it is really worth it.
I want to go in as an engineer, and I know military doesn't exactly equal marching around and holding a gun just to get shot in the face. I scored really high on my ASVAB, and combined with my friend thinking women can't really thrive in the military (he thinks it's because of "sexual conflicts"), but also because I am constantly now thinking about if I really want to serve America.
I know what I'm thinking is likely retarded, but it's been on my mind so often that it actually distracts me while I am occupied. It's shit.
so i don’t really talk about this a lot amongst friends because it’s known that i’m fairly close with my mom, and no one in my family would believe, but when i was around 4-10, my mother was very abusive towards me. my sister is about 12 years older than me, so by the time i was old enough to realize i was being abused, my sister was out of the house and i was alone. i have very vivid memories of my mother lashing out if i did something she percieved as wrong, almost breaking down several of my bedroom doors throughout my childhood, and plenty of intimidation tactics were prevelant throughout most of my memories. i have spoken about some things with my mother, but she always accuses me of fabricating the memories or “making her the bad guy, and yes she’s obviously the worst mother ever.” i have extreme trauma as a result of my childhood and an official diagnosis of bpd /because/ of the abuse, but none of it matters because my mom “did everything she could for me” and i won’t deny that she did the best a single mom could do, but i was still abused. i still have cptsd because of the events, i still flinch if she moves too fast or raises her voice too loudly. she raised me in a way (and she actually admits this) so i would grow to be dependent on her, i.e she does a lot for me and i don’t really know how to do much for myself because the skills weren’t introduced to me as a kid, so i’m very behind my peers. i’m struggling to get better and get over my past, but i still live with her and many things still easily set her off. the intimidation tactics are still there, the yelling and walking on egg shells if she’s in a bad mood are still there, it’s like nothing has changed from my childhood. i don’t know what to do or how to move on with my life, because if i try to gain closure from it by talking with her, the guilting comes back and i’m just “blaming her for all my problems.” she compares the abuse she did to me to the abuse her father did to her, and how she forgave him and the good outweighed the bad. she always omits the part where she didn’t speak to him for over a decade and never had anything nice to say about him my entire childhood. i’m on mobile soi can’t really read through all i’ve written, but i hope it’s not too jumbled.
tldr; i love my mother although she abused me, and i’m trying to forgive her but she’s very similar to the mother that physically and verbally abused me most of my life and i’m not sure how to let go.
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Please for the love of god listen to >>387448
You want to die or participate in a pointless war just so the elites can laugh and buy another house on an island somewhere?
Please do anything else other than fight for any country, unless your immediate life is in danger in your actual home country (ie you are being literally invaded). To fight for and line the pockets of the psychopaths at the top in a fake war would be such a waste of your life.
Make a real effort to impact the relationships and community around you.
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I like the baby shark song and listen to it between albums. I usually mostly listen to indie/punk. I'm 23.
[For context I heard it at my baby cousin's]
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Sometimes when I'm listening to music, or rather out of the blue at all, I'll think about my stepdad eventually dying and I start to have a crying fit. I love him so much, I can't picture this gay earth without him in it.
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lmao, me too anon
i listen to it with my younger sister so that it seems like i'm forced to listen to it because of her, but secretly i love it
Weird, I'm the opposite.
Sometimes I feel kind of relief when I think about by my parents dying.
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Sometimes i wish to travel back in time (maybe 1996 or 2005) and release any popular song from later years so I profit first on someone's idea.
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i unironically love listening to basic ass edm and monstercat even though i never leave the house, let alone go to raves and shit. it's just ear candy i guess
I follow a girl who I was good friends with, but after a fallout she basically bullied me and trashed my name in the small town we lived in (I have since moved), even going so far as to posting about me on her tumblr and her instagram accounts that all had me blocked so I only knew what she was saying from third parties. About a year ago, two years after all of her horrible acts happened, we “made peace”, but I really just try to stay on her good side so I can follow her very public account where she posts about all of her problems and really just makes a spectacle of herself. She makes me feel so much better about myself considering we have very similar pasts/traumas, but I’ve been trying to better myself while she’s been steadily getting worse. She’s absolutely delusional and believes she’s a better person than she was, and doesn’t even admit to the countless years she spent telling anyone she didn’t like to kill themselves. I’m close with someone who was also bullied by her, and we talk shit about her and make fun of her regularly, and the screenshots I have of her account are plentiful. If she had more followers, there would easily by a thread on her, and I have so much dirt on her.
Slightly related but I like watching videos of guys getting nasty with animals.
I have no desires to act upon such things myself but I kind of fucking hate that I get off to that.
You mean like those zoosadists? They should all go to jail.
This. I've seen a lot of times guys dumping their already quite younger gfs for even younger ones.
There's no point in talking about it as lots of girls and women will continue to think like that but it's an ugly way of thinking and overall just petty AND it doesn't guarantee that you won't be replaced by a newer and younger woman when you expire, so to speak. In fact, imo it's a red flag when the guy seems to have preference for women under 25 despite already being in his 30s or older.
I thought the same when I was 18 and I think the same now at the age of 26. I detest guys that are way out of my age range hitting on me, irl or on dating apps. It's just yuck.
It's a well known meme, and 80% of furries are white based off of convention data. >>388971
Doujins hardly ever become super expensive, a lot aren't online just because not that many copies were printed to begin with. The series they are based on might have died in popularity too if you got the stuff years ago. Personally I find selling books to be a big pain in the ass in general because the shipping cost is high but the actual books aren't worth that much.>>389125
Don't know enough Japanese, too undisciplined to learn
I want to date an older man not only because I'm into that, but also to spite my parents, particularly my father.
I know this is the definition of daddy issues, but he never had time for me, had extremely high expections (e.g. school-wise), is a control freak, treats my sister like a literal princess who can do no wrong, yet still demands physical affection like a "good morning"-hug + kiss from me. I always have to be nice to him, constantly smiling, otherwise I get "you're ungrateful, you don't even love me anymore, there's nothing uglier than girls who make sour expressions like you, blah blah".
Maybe if I had an older bf, he would finally realize that he did something wrong and would also be too disgusted to still want to cuddle me like a little child lol (which I've always hated, even as a kid).
But getting one is harder than it seems…
I'm not sure if this has inspired me to try harder to shed those extra 20 lbs or stop dating men.
Please come and personally murder me anon, I'm too much of a coward to kys myself.
shes a vegetarian and has been for years, she just had a craving for meat today.
im aware that i need to fix my relationship with food, but thanks anyhow>>389874
ah youre right, it does feel like im trying to keep my moneys worth when i eat, too, but its not realistic.
i started freezing stuff in portions to help remedy that concern so i wouldnt have to worry about throwing money away on perishables. So now theres at least healthier stuff to prepare instead of junk that i wont have to worry about wasting for a while
and thanks anon! i can do it, just have to get it together
That's awful anon, jobs where you work with customers should be more lenient with attendance for illness and infections, and it's a shame that they're not. Its honestly a health hazard
My job won't even take doctors excuses so if ones of us gets sick then we all get sick, and who knows how many customers do too.
I am in an abusive relationship.
You know it’s bad when even his MOTHER says so and attacks him for it. I absolutely love him but I know it is unhealthy. The other thing keeping me here is that we are slowly making strides in the right direction. He does acknowledge when he’s done wrong, and corrects behaviors, usually…
I give him a lot of chances, and I forgive him because I know he is suffering. He was abused physically, mentally and sexually as a child and never got help for it. He is loyal to me, does his best to make me happy, and is a very hard worker with goals and aspirations. He is my best friend and I am his. But he gets irrationally angry over stupid things (me forgetting to flip laundry, not hanging up his things right away, me doing something clumsy/stupid) like tonight I ordered us takeout and didn’t ask for what he wanted and picked stuff he didn’t like. He literally screamed and threw his phone at the wall, when I tried to tell him that it was still what he liked just not the same thing, he chased me around and threw me to the ground, screaming in my face to shut up. But then we go months without instances like this and he apologized profusely afterwards. However I am completely enabling his behavior by staying, that telling him his behavior is ultimately permissible.
It is a confession, because I am aware he is abusive but I don’t want to leave him. I love him very much and I know he’s a good person, just very tortured.
He’s not a good person. There are plenty of more tortured people who don’t abuse. He is
going to kill you one day if you don’t leave. Who cares if you love him. Try loving him from very, very
>>390175>if we keep working at it
Anon, you cannot save him or help him, I'm sure he went through a lot and all but he's a threat to your physical and emotional well-being and maybe in one of those times when he can't control himself and pushes you into the ground he could actually kill you by "accident".
He's the one that needs to sort his problems out, you don't have any moral responsibility to help someone that can cause you damage. Most people do not change, let alone change quickly enough, is he even going to therapy? Anger management? Taking meds?
I'm sure you are a very caring and loving person that believes in the best of other people but that may put you in danger, would you feel ok if a friend of yours was living in the same situation as you?
Anon, you cannot fix this man who abuses you. You're not his therapist or his parent. He's not your boyfriend, he's your abuser
. He's manipulating you into feeling sympathy. Someone who truly loves you wouldn't throw you around during their moments of anger.
My boyfriend gets irrationally angry sometimes, but he'd never lay a hand on me. He'd punch a concrete wall a million times and he still wouldn't hit me. Find another person. There's someone way better out there who won't hurt you.