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File: 1534011966180.jpg (119.54 KB, 1200x799, showimg_jmd400_1200_1200.jpg)

No. 279117

prev thread: >>>/ot/252343
"Share something you haven't been able to / literally can't say in real life or online under the protection of anonymity. Get it off your chest. You don't even have to explain it, either."

no one's made a new thread yet so i did. reposting my secret from the last thread:

like most people, i'm mortified when people look through my stuff and find something embarrassing. even so, i snoop through people's shit, and i don't even feel bad about it. done it ever since i was little. i read diaries, go through phones, rummage through drawers and closets, just because. i don't know why i do this. i'm not looking for anything in particular, just looking.

nothing i find really phases me, since i know we've all done embarrassing stuff we'd like to keep secret. i've read mopey/cringy diary entries, discovered really embarrassing search history, found where people keep their sex toys/porn, all that jazz. it doesn't matter to me and unless it was something straight up illegal i wouldn't ever confront someone about my findings.

obviously i can't tell anyone because they'd automatically wonder if i've snooped through their stuff, and they'd probably be right. it doesn't matter who it is, if their stuff is accessible and i'm alone, i'll go through it.

No. 279134

I'm afraid of being like my father since he was an insane abusive alcoholic piece of shit that molested me, but if he offered me sex nowadays, I doubt I would have been able to refuse him, I am that spineless and have daddy issues so bad.

No. 279147

Damn anon, that’s dark. Not your fault, but I think you should try to see a therapist.

No. 279192

i'm with the other anon, please see a therapist. it isn't your fault but it is indicative of unresolved issues. i wish you the best

No. 279281

This thread always ends up being dark but here's a light and funny memory:

When me and my brother were still kids there was this time my grandpa was eating soup from his bowl and had go outside the kitchen for some reason. As little devils at the time we decided to throw ketchup, shoyu, pepper, mustard and even grass and dirt inside his bowl and mix everything with a spoon. When my grandpa came back he didn't notice the change in the color since he couldn't see very well, and I remember waiting for him to taste it, I almost burst out laughing. Out of nowhere he just stands up, walks to the cooking pot and pours all the content inside it and we went wtf is he doing. Some time later our mom appeared in the kitchen and took a bowl of soup for herself with all the 'secret' ingredients while both of us just watched. It's so silly but I've never told anyone and it makes me laugh every time I remember it. I guess my grandpa had a sixth sense.

No. 279292

One of my closest friends passed away last year and I went insane with grief. I was blackout drunk and painted her name on a wall a few blocks from my home. I don't remember doing it, but it's obvious that I did. I drive past it almost daily and I feel so much shame. If friends saw it they could probably piece together that it was me.

No. 279337

Why are you ashamed of it? It sounds like a heartfelt gesture. If it bothers you paint over it?

That is a cute story. Makes me miss being a kid with grandparents again.

No. 279371

I hate my best friend with a burning passion because she's always so nice to everyone but me and I know I should cut her off. I'm emotionally dependent of her and I secretly wish everything she wants to archieve in her life goes wrong and she ends up as alone as she makes me feel someday.

No. 279374

Lucille 1 and 2

No. 279402

Last year I had two extremely traumatic experiences that caused me to cut off all of my friends. I nuked all social media and changed my number. I havent hung out without anyone for over a year, the last person I texted was my mom, I only have my bf. We got into an argument last night and he left the house and I realized how alone I am. I have no one to even reach out to, even if I wanted to. I don’t work a job that I can make friends out of, and I’m sometimes too terrified to even leave the house. I think I’m developing some sort of real interpersonal problem and I don’t have the kind of money I’d need to see a therapist. I hate myself and I’m not surprised I’ve pushed everyone away. At the same time, I’m so scared of people and don’t know how to be around them. Even small talk is hard now and I feel so robotic and stupid even talking to the person ringing out my groceries. I used to be pretty good at making people laugh or flirting in passing and now I can’t stop thinking about how stupid I sound. My bf and I got into a fight because I confided this fear and my depression over it and a few other things. I feel suicidal a lot lately and I know it’s wrong to say it but what else can I do? Even if I could afford therapy it’d be wrong to tell a therapist that, too. I have no one and I feel trapped with my thoughts and shame.

No. 279441

I feel you anon, I'm in the same boat except I don't even have a bf. Occasionally I'll reach out to the friends I fell out of contact with and we'll hang out for a couple weeks before I lose touch again.
I just feel like none of them really like me and they just pity me or want to make fun of me, or they dont really see me as me, they just see me as the person they want me to be. I feel like nobody sees or likes me as a person. I know it's not true but I can't stop thinking it, so I just distant myself again.
I'm just so lonely all the time and wish I could afford to get better, because I can't seem to do it on my own.

No. 279489

Sometimes I fear that I'm impostoring a normal person and that somehow I've convinced everyone that I'm a normal adult.

I've flat out asked my parents and boyfriend if they think I'm autistic, and they all laughed and told me no.
But looking back at my childhood behaviors, I see such behavioral problems that I know today could have been diagnosable. I had troubled parents, dramatic life changes, and sexual abuse, which I know can exacerbate behaviors.

I just wonder what's the truth…

No. 279492

I don't think you can hide something you didn't even know you had. Just seek a therapist.

No. 279527

I'm pretty sure they can't actually diagnose autism in adulthood. Just try going to a therapist and focusing on fixing your particular issues, instead of getting the diagnosis. (or if you don't have any problems related to it now, then don't bother with the therapist at all)

No. 279528

I'm in the same situation, though I wouldn't ask anyone because you see what "self diagnosis" has become. It feels like a dirty secret.

No. 279656

I lost my full time job in November. It was a toxic retail environment and I was both fired and denied employment for ridiculous reasons.

Someone basically second in command in management was aggressively harassing me for 9 months. But always juuuust short the technical boderline of illegal behavior. Like he basically weaponized my own name against me and would say "Hi Anon" every single time he saw me, several times a day, even if I didn't respond. Usually in a suggestive tone. Sometimes shouted, sometimes whispered slowly and deliberately.

Or he would just randomly repeat or sing my name if he saw me. He was much larger than me and would take any opportunity to put his hands on me "innocuously," handing me things but completely unnecessarily covering my hands with his. Or "accidentally" grazing me walking by. Or "accidentally" violently assaulting me and not even pretending to be sorry.

It's been 9 months since November, the last time I saw him. I can't stop thinking about him and hearing his voice in my head every day. I have two jobs now, I'm and independent contractor at both and don't make nearly as much. I am getting evicted while trying to move to another less expensive city. This is far from the worst thing I've experienced, why is he still ruling my thoughts?

No. 279929

I can't help but feel a little scared whenever I see a black man.

No. 279938

When I was 18 I got raped by some stranger during an exchange program. Since then I’ve never been able to develop a serious relationship with a man, because I immediately feel used and dirty. I haven’t even told my therapist about when I still used to be in therapy for severe depression and ptsd. My only wish is to forget about it and find someone who actually takes his time to heal me from those memories

No. 279944

My ex might kill hinself because I dumped him and turned all his friends on him, but I hope he does because he raped me several times in our relationship.

No. 279949

I have all the symptoms of a weird rare genetic disorder and I’m ignoring it as hard as possible because I’m determined that this is just paranoia/hypochondria.

No. 279953

You most certainly can get diagnosed with adult Autism, I was assessed and diagnosed when I was 20. It's not uncommon for women to receive late diagnoses because the way they present can be a lot more subtle compared to males. Any evidence of autistic behaviours from your childhood will be factored into your assessment if you decide to pursue one.
However, I agree with the other anon about addressing your past abuse and other issues as a priority especially if they are having a greater impact on your mental health.
Good luck anon!

No. 280057

I've been wondering a lot about this lately, too, and have a similar experience re: asking those around me if I fit the criteria and being laughed off.

It's important to remember that women are criminally under-diagnosed because we have a tendency to camouflage our symptoms and they manifest differently than male aspergers. While I'm against self-diagnosis generally, you might benefit from looking at Tania Marshall's blog here: https://taniaannmarshall.wordpress.com/2013/03/26/moving-towards-a-female-profile-the-unique-characteristics-abilities-and-talents-of-asperwomen-adult-women-with-asperger-syndrome/

Please seek out diagnosis/help if you feel it's right for you! Your mental health is important.

No. 280181

Of course a shrink can technically diagnose autism in adults, but they can also diagnose Dissociative identity disorder. That doesn't mean that either one is a real diagnosis.

People are laughing at you because it's obvious when someone has autism and neither of you do. Maybe try to think about why this title is so important to you, and that might tell you what your actual problem is.

No. 280185


It's >>280181 again.
That list you linked includes "Possesses one or more psychic abilities" as a symptom of female autism. I take back my advice; if you believe you have magical powers then I guess it makes sense that you fell for all of this. Good luck!

No. 280245

don't be retarded in the secrets thread

No. 280248

no one can heal you from that. seek a therapist that specializes in trauma. the only way to heal from trauma is to process it.

see a doctor. two things can happen: you were being paranoid and don't have it, which is a good thing. or you do have it, and now you know and can begin treatment (if available), also a good thing

No. 280327

Turns out I don't know how to use a wheelchair's toilet seat.
>be at library
>go to disabled bathroom because I need some time alone and the regular bathroom is full
>decide to pee while at it
>they have that weird wheelchair toilet with a huge hole in the front
>think that won't be a problem
>sit down and start peeing
>something is wrong
>pee gushing out on the floor
>tfw I didn't sit enough to the back of the seat
>try to hold the pee back but there's already a sizable pool of pee in front of the toilet and some drops on my bag and shoes
Then I spent 10 minutes wiping my pee out of the floor and cleaning my stuff. Thank god almost no one uses that bathroom and that I drank a lot of water.

No. 280394

What is that supposed to prove? You're replying to something saying that just because DID is diagnosed, that doesn't mean the diagnosis is correct.

That website acknowledges that DID is a fringe belief in psychology, and is devoted to "proving" that it exists. The existence of the website supports the original point entirely.

No. 280405

it provides evidence and years of research that point to it being a real thing. the implication of the post i replied to is that it isn't a real thing. if i misinterpreted it then my bad

No. 280420

File: 1534293311218.jpg (579.54 KB, 1280x1431, tumblr_o0r9s4LKHe1v4ovkno1_128…)

This reminds me of one of my most embarrassing stories lol.

I was late to class but had to pee first. I entered one of the stalls and did it without looking back until I started to notice there was pee leaking from the sides and also wetting my ass and pants. The lid was fucking closed. I had to use toilet paper to try and clean it but my panks were soaked. I had to cover it up with my blouse and thank god it wasn't all that noticeable since my pants were navy blue. To this day I wonder why didn't I just went back home instead of listening to lectures for two hours feeling umconfortable and paranoid. That time I was friends with the two most popular girls in class so I was terrified of being made fun of. I might be the dumbest girl to have ever done that but remember to see if the lid is open, anons.

No. 280425

Kek. I can’t believe I haven’t done that yet.
I’ve done the rushing to pee and forget to pull down underwear thing a few times.

No. 280427

oh anon, you're not stupid. it's just if you do something 10000000 times it goes on autopilot and statistically you're bound to fuck it up at least once. it's like forgetting to lock the front door.

idk how i haven't done that one specifically yet but a handful of times i've sat at the wrong angle and my ass makes some kind of vacuum that causes my piss stream to go horizontal onto my leg and out the sides of the toilet. how the fuck!

No. 280827

I hate my body and the only time I manage to feel good about it is when I look at anorexic's posts online because they are idolising bodies that look like mine. I always feel disgusted with myself though because I know it's wrong to use someone else's mental illness for my own gain.

No. 280843

Don't worry anon, all of the thinspo stuff isn't from actual anorexics, it's mostly fat girls roleplaying online and attempting to catch an eating disorder.

No. 280859

I want to be a camgirl but I'm afraid of people knowing I cam. I wish I had money to spend on getting custom fit prosthetics to change my face and makeup to hide my tattoos or something. Being a poorfag retail slave makes me feel so worthless but I feel like camming would be so much fun. I've always admired sex workers who enjoy and have fun with their jobs.

No. 280861

wear a bag on your head.

No. 280866

Unless you become super famous nobody gives a shit about you. Just do it on the side on a site like mygirlfund and just do your thing as a hobby

No. 280868

anon chill. she clearly meant she doesn't want people she knows finding out.

No. 280872

having worked retail, it really isn't that bad. it's no fabulous fun time, but you do realize women have to pretend camming is so glamorous for a buck, right? men go into those chat rooms, shit on women, call them names, become obsessed with them, harass them, etc. camming sounds like nothing short of a nightmare to me. exposing your body to the worst men to be criticized and judged for potentially years to come, even after you stop. yikes.

like, do you really expect these camgirls to go on and on about their woes and how terrible they're treated, while they're still camgirls? it's in their financial interest to paint it as fun

No. 280911

Yep, Anon should read the thread on /g where people talk about this

No. 281373

File: 1534461271972.jpg (58.55 KB, 540x323, 772.jpg)

I'm currently going through a bunch of tests at the hospital because of some very unusual, severe physical symptoms I've been having and I am praying that I end up getting diagnosed with having heart attacks, a brain tumor, or something equally serious that can and will kill me. I want to die. I know this is a disgusting, insensitive thing to say for those battling these things and struggling to survive but this is how I feel.
There's nothing for me here.

No. 281376

not disgusting anon, you want non violent release from the scream realm. twisted in a way, but emotions are just that. raw and visceral. I hope you end up ok

No. 281379

see a therapist

No. 281392

you think anon hasn't already thought of that

No. 281434

>implying most therapists that mentally ill people can afford aren't just taking your money and trying to placate you so they have another long term patient feeding them income

No. 281453

Saw a handicapped kid with her parents getting inside the bus today and thought she had microcephaly at first, I looked it up on Google and it wasn't quite right. I can't be bothered to find it now but her condition made her incapable of talking or walking, she also started drooling sometimes and whenever she started coughing her mom had to keep her head up. I'm just adding context. The moment I saw them this specific memory as a child appeared, when I asked my mom if she'd still love me if I had been born disabled like a man I saw earlier that day. I knew exactly what she was going to say, 'Of course, parents love their children no matter what… etc'. Then I just replied 'If it were me I wouldn't'. Still haven't changed my mind about that ten years later. Swear to god I'd never be able to love a child with that condition let alone take care of her, that'd just make me resentful. I blame my mild lack of empathy for that, can't help feeling a bit sorry for the girl and her parents tho.

No. 281629

I always ask my bfs if they’d be ok with me getting an abortion if I was pregnant with a disabled baby.

The answer is always no.

No. 281632

date better men, anon, wtf.

No. 281636

It’s just the general sentiment here. Most people are pro life. It does seem to be men that are more pro life than women though.

No. 281637

that's shitty. where are you from? i dont think i could have sex w a prolife guy for fear of him trying to force me to keep it. i'd be pretty afraid tbqh

No. 281638

I wouldn’t normally say where I’m from online but I’ve seen other anons from here posting. From Belfast ni.

No. 281639

oh, that makes complete sense, ugh. sorry to hear about that, anon. hope you find someone that isn't retarded and things hopefully get way less backwards soon

No. 281654

Republic anon here, really hoping attitudes start changing for ye up north. Really hoping that the vote we had down here will influence NI attitudes soon.

No. 281679

>what is big pharma placebo and talking to "feel better"

No. 281733

I have quietly put almost all my belongings into storage and will be leaving my boyfriend in a week maybe. I never had much anyways so it’s not very noticeable.

He has never been physically abusive, and he likes to use that against me. If I bring up some of the mindfuck things he’s done and say that it’s abuse, he will throw it back that he’s never hit me.

But because he has destroyed my most sentimental objects in the past, I have to sneak what I have left out.

No. 281869

Good luck anon. Please update when you're safe!

No. 281893

kek have fun being depressed and wanting to kill yourselves

No. 281998

considering that they didn't mention it, yeah it's possible. just look at the retards commenting on therapy and the oh so scary big pharma.

not all therapists are like that, but i like how you got that implication from three words.

lol. talk therapy is a proven treatment for depression and going to therapy doesn't mean you have to take medication.

i like you. not sarcasm.

No. 282455

>i like someone who tells people to have fun killing themselves because they agree with ME
Don't try to pretend to be helpful then? Your post wasn't sympathetic in the first place, just ignorant and short. Both of you are truly embarrassing and disgusting.

No. 282508


yikes yall sound like edgy preteens

No. 282644

File: 1534659554034.jpg (46.94 KB, 540x447, ssBshkn.jpg)

what's embarrassing is people whining about being depressed but outright refusing to make any effort to help themselves. i've been there so i get it, but at the end of the day it was my own fault for staying there. so forgive me if i'm not all that sympathetic to those types.

No. 283103

File: 1534750061819.jpg (1.53 MB, 2560x1920, tft-bento-salmon.jpg)

My boyfriend's penis is around 6 inches long and while I am totally happy with it he is extremely self conscious about it, so over the course of two and a half years I have convinced him that it has continued to grow and is now 7.5 inches. Now he is always boasting about it and is convinced it is going to keep growing into his late 20s because he lifts weights.

No. 283106

thats pretty cute tbh

No. 283122

Not sure if this is the right thread, but I suffer from bipolar type 2 and my therapist thinks I should open up to people about how I feel. I've been seeing a guy and we're seeing each other later today. I want to open up and be vulnerable, but I just don't know how much I should say?

Should I say that I think I'm worthless and that makes me very insecure all the time? That I've been suicidal for a long time? Or is that oversharing? How much can I say without making the other person uncomfortable?

No. 283136

but what about when the day comes that he measures it? he probably will, eventually, if he is so fixated on it.

No. 283229

What did you do to get out of it? I want to get better.

No. 283452

i’m a lesbian
but i’ve been dating a dude for about three months. i met him on tinder just to make sure i wasn’t attracted to men, and at first i really liked him. he’s funny, he’s nice, he’s adorable; we get along really well.
however whenever he touches me i get uncomfortable, whenever he compliments me i feel weird about it.
i’m defiantly gay.
but- this guy is absolutely in love with me. he talks about us getting married and having kids together. he buys me extravagant gifts i didn’t ask for. i’m even getting a tattoo from his best friend tomorrow.
i need to break up with him, asap but every time i try i get cold feet and can’t do it.

No. 283469

All I can say is that the longer you leave It, the harder it's going to be. You need to act like an adult. You created this situation and now you need to respect his feelings and tell him the truth.

No. 283479

Anon are you 18? Three months is nothing. Just let it go and break up with him.

No. 283480

Even straight girls are rightfully creeped out by dudes who talk about babies and marriage 3 months in. And he was just some tinder dude??? Run.

No. 283531

not that anon but antidepressants and therapy will do it

No. 283536


99.9% of the people on here are depressed in some way, shape, or form, so I doubt you'd understand, but as >>282644 said if you're not trying to help yourself at that point it's your own damn fault you're depressed.

If you think you can ~cure your depression~ by sitting on lolcow all day and complaining about how therapists just want your money and pharmaceuticals are evil, you'll never get better, hate to break it to you.

But then again I guess I can't blame you because you probably have a chemically imbalanced brain that you refuse to deal with and treat

No. 283704

a big part of it is realizing you have a choice. no, being traumatized or being born with depression isn't a choice, but you can choose to work through it and move forward. a lot of unhappy people are resistant to seeking help. i was like that for a long time. the reason is simple, but figuring it out was a big eye-opener for me: misery is easy, and happiness is hard as hell. unhappiness is very familiar to depressed people, and in a way, comfortable. that's why so many people prefer to stay that way, whether they're consciously aware of it or not.

working on yourself and your issues takes work, and the work is hard and painful. but you said that you want to get better, and that is a big step. i won't give you a bunch of obvious advice like "exercise more! socialize! go out in nature!" because if you're really depressed you'll probably find it really hard to find the motivation to do those things, since they probably seem pointless. if this is the case, you really need to seek some kind of therapy.

i'm in group therapy right now, it's mostly cbt/dbt type stuff, with a bit of processing. i'd recommend starting there. it's true that group therapy isn't for everyone, but it's also true that many people who thought it wouldn't be for them actually get a lot of good out of it, like myself. i can't at the moment, but i do plan on seeing a one-on-one therapist some time in the near future to process some harder shit.

and yeah, you don't need to take medication if you really don't want to, but they help a lot of people. if you're hesitant to the idea, ask a lot of questions about them first and make your decision.

remember, you can choose to do nothing and stay unhappy and get worse and worse. you can also choose to do something about it and try to get better. it's going to be painful and a lot of it is going to suck, but if you genuinely want to get better, it is very doable.

sorry for such a long post.

No. 283871

File: 1534898604549.gif (461.13 KB, 181x239, anderson-judging-you1.gif)

I have, and have had, a massive-ass crush on Anderson Cooper for god knows how long and every time I think it's gone away, it just rears its head back. Like, can I just find a straight guy that's like him? Maybe? Angular, polished, smart but dorky with an expressive face? And being a silver fox would be gr8, too.

He's just too good. CNN might be meh but he is the only reason I watch it.

No. 283902

When it's payday and I've gotten a little bit tipsy, I buy things off a local cat rescue's Amazon wish list. I end up buying $100+ worth of kitten/cat food or nursing formula when this happens.

They bottle feed abandoned kittens, take in dumped mama cats and kittens, and take in feral cats, spay/neuter them, and put them into barn cat program where they can still technically be 'wild' but have a purpose. I live in a more 'country' area, so programs like this are actually beneficial. (I don't want this to go on a tangent about outside cats vs inside cats—sometimes they get dumped and reproduce, but at least this rescue program spays and neuters before putting these cats back out)

It makes me feel a little bit good about myself since I live in an apartment alone and work all day and don't feel like that's a good environment to adopt a cat into. So that's why I choose to donate to shelters/rescues instead… because they can at least provide a good environment.

No. 283917

That’s Bob Ross levels of nice.
You’re a good person anon. One day I hope you have a place with lots of room for as many animals as you can handle.

No. 283925

File: 1534914137994.jpg (16.09 KB, 222x178, 23drtftjt76.jpg)

You are a saint anon
thank u for the wholesome post

No. 283928

I love this, anon. This made my night.

No. 283932

Objectively, there's nothing ethical about this.

No. 283939

oh yeah? i didn't realize something like ethics could even be truly objective, but care to educate us on what's "objectively" ethical if helping to diminish immediate suffering of other living beings apparently is not?

No. 283975

>it’d be wrong to tell a therapist that, too
That's completely untrue, it's the purpose of therapists to listen to what you think is wrong with you. Carry on anon

No. 283987

No. 284171


Lol thanks guys <3

I have a bad habit of impulsively buying things when I have a bit too much to drink, so I’m trying to at least funnel that into something charitable instead of into material possessions that I don’t really need.

No. 284377

Sometimes when I’m stoned, I post on here and then reread what I said and I’m like ‘wow, did a monkey write this?’ then delete. You’re welcome.

No. 284600

Bahahaha, me the fuck too anon! I wish there was a stoner chat thread we could all get high and post in together.

No. 285801

That sounds pretty touching ngl

No. 289007

I have ragging yellow fever for far east asian guys.

No. 289030

kek. i get drunk and write passionate paragraphs about god knows what and then reread it and think "no one cares about this. wait…why the fuck do I care about this?" delete

No. 289059

i found out i was a lesbian by playing a mlp porn game my friend told me to look up in 7th grade and i exclusively masturbated to it and that one scene in black swan on my dvr for weeks because it made me feel less gay than looking up normal lesbian porn…

and no, i'm not a transbian. i actively make fun of them for doing similar shit so that makes this even worse.

No. 289325

i prefer cats over dogs for the weirdest reasons. i like messing with them to the point they try to scratch and bite me, idk why but once i start i can't stop. seeing their angry faces amuse me. cats are known to be sadistic as they play with little birds so i wonder if i have sadistic tendencies as well. yesterday i saw my cat out of my house and chased him to deepest woods and i couldn't rest until i grabbed him and took him back inside. i'd certainly do the same to my dog if he wasn't so big and smelly, him being submissive as dogs are also makes me lose interest. sometimes i provoke him but i'm scared of getting bitten too. not proud of that

No. 289328

yes, you have sadistic tendencies and you sound like you shouldn't have animals.

No. 289396

>cats are known to be sadistic as they play with little birds
What? Cats are hunters and animals that pray on smaller animals to keep them away from homes. Of course they're going to play and eliminate birds and rodents.

You on the other hand, need some help. You say you're cat lover, but it sounds more like you don't like any sort of animal. I think your whole post is just for edge points and you're probably baiting really. If not, you definitely need to sort out whatever mental issues you have.

No. 289469

I saw the anon that made the post about cats and I don't know if it was bait or not.
I've had sadistic tendencies against animals since I was a child and I feel like a fucking monster, I love animals but once I'm by myself with them I feel as if I'm entering a trance like state and start hurting them only to snap out of it later and feel like I shouldn't be alive.
When I was around 9 I went to the countryside with my grandma and she asked me to take care of a bunch of little baby chicks and for some fucking reason I ended up suffocating all of them. My grandmother was extremely angry at me but she didn't punish me, instead I did it myself because I felt so guilty afterwards I hit myself until I started bleeding from my nose.
I was abused when I was a child and I had a pretty fucked up childhood and I'm not saying this as an excuse I'm just saying it so maybe someone could give me an explanation. I'm not a psychopath and I can experience deep feelings of guilt and remorse I just dissociate really badly sometimes.
I never told this to anyone as I was too emberassed. I'm really scared of being around animals by myself because I'm scared I might end up hurting them.

No. 289475

I feel like my friend’s little sister got pregnant on purpose and I think it’s highly selfish.

Her abusive on and off again boyfriend knocked her up (although she lied to everyone at first and said it was another guy). And for the last couple of months of her pregnancy, she was staying with me and my family(her sister, my friend, lives with us). Granted, she wasn’t a terrible houseguest but it’s still not ideal. On the day she went into labor, my aunt (who lives with my mom and I) was talking to another relative and pretty much said that she got pregnant on purpose because she thought her and her boyfriend would make a “cute baby.” Ever since I found that out, my opinion of her has honestly dropped. I thought she got pregnant on accident and was trying to make the best of her situation but to find out that she willing got pregnant in a unstable relationship and had to couch surf at her sister’s place comes off as really selfish to me. That is not an environment to raise a baby in.

What makes it worse it is that there was talk that she might be moving in with us in December/January (although it hasn’t come up recently). If that happens, I’m noping the fuck out of there. I love babies but I have no interest in sharing a house with one. I don’t think I should sacrifice my personal space because she thought it was a good idea to have a baby even though she’s definitely unprepared.

Of course, if I express this to my friends and family, they’re gonna think I’m a massive bitch.

No. 289478

that's a pretty common tactic that immature women, and even couples do to try to fix their failing relationships. for some reason they seem to think things will get better if there's a baby.

No. 289514

Please seek therapy for this shit, that's worrying.

No. 289534

im stuck between being sexually conservative and reserved and wanting to just go full whore and not give a fuck
im tired of having been with only this one boring guy
i dont want to hurt him, but im over it

No. 289607

kill yourself

No. 289610

Hi anon I have multiple suicide attempts but last time I tried killing myself I ended up isolated in a mental ward. I'm still not sure if I truly want to die or if I'm just trying to escape my problems.

No. 289612

Keep away from animals anon, and maybe seek some therapy for your intrusive thoughts. You might hear that a lot, but you should take this advice seriously. Like, make an appointment this week, don’t put it off or mull over the idea too much. Hurting animals is a sign of someone who is deeply disturbed. You notice it’s wrong, which is good, but this type of behavior can lead to more dangerous stuff in the future. You may not be able to snap out of that trance like feeling, and end up ruining your life. Don’t listen to the anons who are baiting you, they are being immature.

No. 289613

Ok i apologize it wasn't nice to tell you to kill yourself. I hope you will find peace in life and that you will stop hurting animals

No. 289614


Yep this, it's a sign of deep trauma that needs addressing. You know you are a danger to animals (and potentially children) or something worse. Please get the help you need. That means a supportive therapist who is seeking progress for you. I don't think drugs are the answer as you mentioned the trance state, being more relaxed will not help. You need to change your thought patterns, ways of viewing animals and others, and yourself. The brain is like plasticine, all negative patterns can be reforged and changed if you allow yourself lots of time .good luck anon

No. 289619

Thanks anons. I will call a therapist from my town tomorrow even though I feel highly uncomfortable talking about this issue to the point where it causes me a lot of distress and I panic. This is the first time I openly talked about this, even if it's on an anonymous imageboard I think it's a beginning.

No. 289680

what if someone gets these urges to hurt animals but they have no known history of abuse or trauma?

No. 289694

They’re mentally fucked too, just in a different way. Both should be in intensive therapy and locked away from animals.

No. 289714

Good on you anon, keep us updated. I hope that things work out for you.

No. 290776

File: 1536103316168.gif (1.51 MB, 425x481, 1535364380754.gif)

I love shit posting and flaming the trannys in /lgbt/.

No. 290926

I've been trying to start a redfem group but only in person b/c anything online female will be invaded by troons as a default, but I have problems trying to get the ball rolling.

No. 290955

I'm enjoying the Magdalen Berns thread that's on the front page right now

No. 290964


yo anon, i'm in.

I need some advice since I got run off the net by tr00nies before- I'm currently just behind a proxy. Should I consider tor or a VPN?

(sorry for offtopic in an /ot/ thread)

No. 290996

File: 1536112478087.gif (1.12 MB, 484x305, 1522376074302.gif)

Ahahahaha, I've been in there for a while fanning the flames.
Their comments and obvious male tears brings about an exquisite amount of schadenfreude.

No. 291017

are you guys just on the mags one rn?

No. 291023

Okay so Im 23yo and so sad that I missed out on my preteens, because I was bullied and felt lonely and older guys took advantage of that. My secret is…
I'm so jealous of Jojo Siwa lmfao I love her bows and I love sparkly and cutesy shit and colorful things, I feel such an empty hole, I wish age wouldn't determine what you should wear (I mean I wouldn't go to work dressed like jojo siwa i am not retarded lmao) but I missed a huge chunk of being just a kid and now I feel just sad and empty that I can't do those things

No. 291049


this is >>290964 - I'm not on that topic right now. I'm watching it but not posting in it since my proxy is blocked on 4chan

No. 291052

how'd you get run off by them???

No. 291055

File: 1536116631849.png (30.02 KB, 1251x210, kek.PNG)

i lold so hard at this recent post in one of the other threads, holy fuck

No. 291063

lmao at the self-congratulatory backpatting there.

like if they were so great why are their egos so damn fragile?

nobody wants to date a tr00nie.

No. 291073

>slender look of a man

No. 291075


this shit would be funny if it weren't so sexist and sad lol

No. 291356

If a make a temp discord server would that suffice, I’m in class now but will make one later

No. 291465

anon do it, plox

No. 291687

File: 1536212867680.jpg (6.16 KB, 236x200, e75a8c1cd32a70515af1782f3c2465…)

I have this longtime fantasy of being killed by Jeffrey Dahmer. It sort of went into overdrive again recently after watching that new movie, My Friend Dahmer. I know it makes no sense. Firstly because he's dead, secondly because he was gay and I'm a woman, and thirdly because I'd be fucking dead. But I have this desire to experience an alternate reality I guess, where I was a victim of his and subject to his torture and eventually him drugging me/subjecting me to brain trauma.

I feel so fucked up about this, I don't know where it came from or why the idea of all this turns me on so much. Shit like this is another reason I want virtual reality to become more advanced.

No. 291698

imagine being so dualistic and narrow-minded that the concept of just being a whole, well-rounded human being with a wide variety of assets is something you think of as unattainable for men and women and you have to be a hybrid in order to do it.

like, he couldn't just think "hm, i like some of my manly qualities like my build and my assertiveness, but i think i'd like to be a little less stiff and work on my interpersonal skills." no, it's just, you can only be an emotional passive woman or an icky toxic man.

No. 291749

it’s called Hybristophilia, not that rare!

No. 291787

I know of hybristophilia but I would feel better about it if I stereotypically wanted to "change" him and make him "better" as a lot of them want to, which is a controversial but fairly normal idea. I just want to get murdered by him.

No. 291923

i used to have a fantasy of being raped by richard ramirez

i had some nightmares about him escaping from prison though and it actually cured me haha

No. 291964

I smoke weed with a female friend every now and then, and lately I've been fantasizing about fucking her roughly with a strap on and tying her up. I am straight but constantly think about fucking her incredibly rough. Part of me thinks she would be down to do it, but it's probably not a good idea so I don't.
She's a nice person and I don't know why I've been objectifying her in my head lately and it makes me feel awful. I literally watched porn of a girl with her accent this morning and searched through porn last night trying to find a woman of similar looks.

No. 291967

lol. Yeah it's fun as a fantasy… I'd never want to be murdered in real life. It's such cognitive dissonance.
Ramirez is insanely attractive to me but I have never had this sort of fantasy with him like with Dahmer.

No. 292388

I've been dating a poly guy for a few months. He's great but his partner is a transtrender speshul 'they' and she makes me cringe so much. She has another partner who she lives with, but it boggles my mind because she's not only a trender but also insipid as fuck.how does a woman like this gets not only one, but TWO partners????

No. 292394

do you live in the southeast US

No. 292414

both of you are cucks

No. 292415

>dating a poly guy

i got some bad news…

No. 292416

why are these tumblrgender freaks always poly?

No. 292421

because being poly means you're a whore who wants a fallback.

No. 292423

Each time I see someone with short, neon-colored hair on Tinder I know they will will call themselves nb/queer and be poly.

No. 292458

Omg this sounds like that songless girl on tumblr

No. 294696

I want a sugar daddy.

Even though I still live at home and have a fairly good relationship wit my parents, I feel so lonely that I wish I had an older person take care of me. Not for money or sex, just somebody who tells me what to do. Also not in a stupid ddlg relationship, just somebody who tells me when to go to bed, that I should study, who makes sure i eat healthily etc. Not in an angry way, but simply helping me. I have so little motivation for anything, that I just wish I had somebody who'd tell me to get off the internet and be productive instead.
Whenever somebody criticices me or gets me angry it somehow makes me feel nearly aroused, but at the same time I feel like crying. That's so humiliating. I'm against any form of bdsm, I do consider myself a feminist, I know that I can take care about myself, yet i still feel so vulnerable.

No. 294702

Nothing you said is what a sugar daddy is… you just don't wanna be responsible for your own life. Don't go fucking some old loser in a misguided attempt to get your shit together, prostitution and productivity are not related.

No. 294704

sounds more like a ddlg relationship lmfao
Sugar daddies are all about you catering to their needs and being a well put together woman.
Get a caring bf or seek therapy or something

No. 294724

Or maybe she should grow up and realize that no one's ever going to tell you what to do. Good mentors make things easier but at the end of the day, you plan your own life. Nobody else can do it for you.

No. 295069

i cant wait to be a wife and a mom

No. 295084


You say you're against bdsm, but what you want seems very in line with consensual power exchange. It can be a very rewarding experience tbh.

No. 295194

This is absolutely retarded but sometimes I get so jealous of my boyfriend's affection for his mother and brother that I start getting delusions that it must be sexually motivated. Some part of me legitimately believes his mom wants to fuck him because she prances around and swoons when he's around. I've convinced myself that she does it because she is competing with me and she wants him all to herself. She kisses him on the mouth, which I think is bizarre for anyone to do to their adult child. He also recently jokingly described his brother as his "soulmate." When stuff like this happens part of me is always like "Okay…so why don't you fuck your mother and marry your brother then? What do you even need me for?" I'm self-aware enough to realize that I'm projecting my insecurities due to my broken, loveless family being the opposite of his, but I'm about as emotionally mature as an eggplant and can't seem to shake these irrational thoughts when they arise.

No. 295243

you sound jealous, but ngl, they sound fucking weird, and i'm sure that doesn't help your jealousy.

like, most families don't act like that. at all.

>vid related: your bfs fam

No. 295256

Nah, I think that's weird too.
I get that there's different cultures etc., but generally you only romantically kiss someone on the lips.
My BF's mom does the same shit. Whenever we're in the middle of a conversation she'll try and call him over so she can hug/kiss/show some stupid picture, she'll make stupid little jokes/click her tongue whenever my bf and I kiss around her (which I never initate because I feel so fucking awkward) and almost act jealous.
So they might just have a loving family (my definition of loving family isn't really about kisses and physical affection, it's more about support and understanding tho lol) OR she could actually be unconsciously jealous of you in a way. You're in a sense "taking" your bf out of the family and seeing sides of him that they never see etc.
Just keep an eye on it to see it the behavior progresses or gets worse, then I would talk to bf about it.

No. 295258


Isn't this the classic mother in law hell jealousy stuff. I have a theory about it. Woman is attracted to man. Marries. Has son. Son has traits of husband PLUS hers. If she's a bit dim she will get very attached and jealous about her "perfect" son. Honestly everything you both described sounds over the line and you're not being paranoid at all.

Just remember they can think their weird shit, but it's your relationship and their jealousy is irrelevant.
The soulmate brother thing? No explanation for that, honestly he sounds uncomfortably close with his family.

I agree with loving family meaning SUPPORT not physical affection. I think that is only for partners.

No. 295264

I unironically like some of 6ix9ine's music. That being said, the guy is a disgusting predator and I don't understand why people defend his actions.

No. 295315

no one's gonna want to do this. sugar daddies give money for you to go buy expensive things while you look like a sexual fantasy for them and get them off however they want. ddlg types also mostly just want weird roleplay sex.

you sound like you want a therapist or a life coach.

No. 295337

this. and if they're not like that they are 100% cucks who want you to domme them.

No. 295357

File: 1536854021692.jpg (59.73 KB, 500x500, A-11149-1348613681-9734.jpeg.j…)

Here's a light-hearted secret. I still unironically listen to eurodance in 2018. I like all of it, no matter how shitty and dated it is, my music taste is really varied but no other genres makes me this happy.

No. 295358

Narcissistic mothers will try to put their sons in more of a partner role.
I dunno why, I just know it’s common. Don’t feel crazy.

No. 295371

We're similar. I listen to eurobeat unironically and love it. For some reason, it just pumps me up and usually I listen to sad, slow music so it's a nice change of pace.

No. 295381

Me too anons, I like it because cheers me up. I enjoy listening to eurobeat when I need to do some boring work too, gives me more energy than drinking coffee lol.

No. 295601

So I shared a secret maybe a month or two ago about a coworker having some nudes on a computer and got your input on whether or not I should delete them. (I did)

Andddd…. now I'm back with another weird-ass computer finding. The instrument this computer is hooked up to was having issues, so I was digging through whatever files were on here to try and see if I could find a manual or something. I did find a folder that manuals for external parts of it, but not for what I was having issues with. However, in that folder also had a word doc of Bookmarks of the guy that installed everything (outside company) so I looked at it thinking maybe it would be other helpful links. I mean, why else would you put a bookmark doc in a folder with external part manuals? Like, I'm sitting here hoping it's troubleshooting help.

It was full of his personal bookmarks. There were at least 10 Pornhub links on there. And some questionable Craig's list URLs.

But jesus. Are these people that careless? Like, literally the first 5 links were PornHub. I don't understand.

(instrument did get fixed, if you were curious. Had to remote in some help. But it got fixed without any PornHub help)

No. 299943

It pisses me off how nonchalant guys act about their safety harping on girls for being cautious. I've gotten upset with past friends and family for not taking their safety into account or acting more cautious, its like they think they are invincible and girls are just overreacting but they could get hurt too! And this gets twisted up and I think about how the next time I go home with a dude I wanna steal something small like a spoon or rearrange something in his house.

You thought you could trust me? Because I'm a girl?

I'm tired of the guys in my life being so cavalier with their personal safety and being dismissive of the precautions women take. Its not exactly a sensible or rational fantasy.

No. 299962

I understand how you feel anon, but I don’t think messing around with their stuff will change anything other than make them distrustful of you specifically. It’s really difficult to force other people to be more introspective.
Plus, they’re not entirely wrong. Men simply aren’t in danger from women the way women are in danger from men. I’d prefer it if they at least acknowledged this. In my experience men will act like personal safety measures taken by women are unnecessary and an indication of paranoia right up until the point that something horrible happens to her, at which point they’ll blame her for not taking enough safety measures. But when I point this out, they act like they’re actually in the exact same degree of danger as women are and that they’re just more logical and rational about it. I’ve had a guy insist to me that it’s silly for me to be afraid to walk alone after dark through an alley where a woman had recently been attacked, because some sexual predators prey on males too and despite that, he, as a muscular 6’5” adult man, is not afraid to walk alone at all!
I think the only way to impress on men how dangerous the world can be is if they’re attacked by another larger, stronger man, but even then it’s unlikely to make them more empathetic towards women. Most of them will insist that their situation is somehow totally different, and probably worse.

No. 299972

I think my best friend of 5 years is in love with me. I've never really considered it until these past few months, but some of the things he says to me and how he treats me compared to his other female friends is so different. I don't even know how to feel about it either..I almost want him to be but I don't want to change our friendship either.

No. 299991

Me too. As soon as I get a car I'm gonna get some huge ass subwoofers to blast eurobeat with, I don't care.

No. 300010

Off topic but which artists are your favourite? I am always looking for new guilty pleasure music.

No. 300044

I started camming on Camversity after I saw Momo making money off it. I could use the extra cash and I got an intense smug satisfaction after finding out I made more money in 30 minutes of just showing my bra on my first camshow than she did after two hours with 10x the viewers I had.

I've only told my bff who understands but I'm still nervous about being caught or having my real name/identity attached to it, even if it's just topless stuff so I try not to show my face on camera. I really envy the girls who are confident about what they do and don't give a fuck because they get so many tips.

I don't plan on doing this longterm or getting too explicit but damn it feels nice to make money off of basically nothing since I'm unemployed at the moment and still searching for a real job.

No. 300086

i wish my fuck buddy would fall in love with me for me real even if i don't want to have a relationship. I'm selfish i want everybody to be in love with me

No. 300108


I'm >>295357 and the first 2 responses got me into eurobeat as well. Good shit. I love you fellow cheesy music anons.

No. 300333

I work at a call center and deal with nasty individuals and abuse on a regular basis. One day I had a really crazy bitch call up and call me names, tell me to go fuck myself etc.

I googled her and found out who she was and pictures of her ugly mug on the internet.

I was so salty about this bitch cussing me out i created a bunch of throwaway emails and sent her harassing emails and some to her co workers pretending to be her.

Im kind of ashamed of what i did but it served her right for saying all that horrible stuff to me. I was so scared id get fired but of course nothing happened bc how would they even find out lmao.

No. 300336

Thats actually hilarious. Did she ever answered?

No. 300345

No but she made her twitter acc private after i sent her pics of herself she posted but with mean captions on them, heh.

No. 315212

File: 1540298505173.jpg (14.23 KB, 320x287, Reaction_ef57bf_5830733.jpg)

I steal other unknown people's phone photos that they post to their social media and import the pictures to my phone gallery so that if someone ever happens to get a glimpse of my phone gallery, I don't look like a loser who doesn't go anywhere with like 70 legit photos in my roll of my pet.

I feel guilty doing it but I guess it's like my little aesthetic board. Yeah, I'm pathetic…

No. 315217

are you that /g/ anon's girlfriend who steals photos and posts them to her IG stories?

No. 315221

Lol! I wouldn't go that far. What I do isn't for public eye or attention, just to save face in front of acquaintances irl.

No. 315231

i don't find white people attractive, and i've never wanted to be white. maybe i do have yellow fever.
also i am not nearly as confident as everyone thinks, i hate my face and my skeleton body. my current gf is way too hot for me and i know it! they're right

No. 315270

File: 1540307000638.gif (982.06 KB, 390x259, 1905712591932.gif)

No. 315299

So…your gf is asian I'm assuming?
You better be a lesbian.

No. 315303

>doesn’t find white people attractive
>doesn’t like personal appearance

Are you white, Anon?

And saying that you “yellow-fever” makes me cringe into infinity.

No. 315319

I listen to certain people's conversations pretending that I'm listening to music with my earphones and lurk in the whats app work group when some mega toxic co-workers are sharing something embarrassing about themselves, their cheap hook up adventures and specially gossiping about others so I can use it all against them when given the opportunity. Pretty asshole-y, I know, but I'm sure they wouldn't hesitate in doing the same with me or anyone else out of their friend circle

No. 315341

all of these 'i dont think white people are attractive at all' posts happen all of the time on ot, so why do weeb anons or weeb aligned anons lie and claim they don't happen??? ffs so many of you weirdos not only have creepy af yellow fever, but a specific kind that is so severe that you think people of other races aren't attractive at all. you guys need to back away from imageboards.

No. 315378

I always feel like I'm being watched, and it messes with my behaviour so much that I'm not sure what's an act sometimes and what isn't.

When I was younger I attributed this "watched" feeling to black ghosts, these weird shadowy fuckers from my nightmares who waited for me to acknowledge them before killing me. During my early teens I would imagine that my soulmate was observing me, and I would do things that I thought would make them love me. Sometimes I wonder if it's a higher power observing me, but then I fall into a moral dilemma over whether my actions are truly good or just performative bullshit done to appease whatever's watching me, in case I get a reward. I still sometimes feel black ghosts, and see them in my mind's eye, watching me as I pretend not to notice.

I've never been able to have my curtains open at night, and whenever I've forgotten to close the curtains before nightfall I can't look out the window without intense dread. I have to stealth close the curtains or ask my boyfriend if he can do it instead, since whatever's out there only seems to be after me.

The fact that my hypervigilance has actually proven useful in the past doesn't help matters, since I had the same feelings during the real situations as I do during the paranoid shit - I was molested as a child/teen by a man who would wake me up to abuse me, and the feeling I got when he watched me "sleep" was the same feeling as when the ghosts watched me, a creep in the park who watched me before trying to masturbate on me set off the same feeling (but I initially ignored it instead of leaving, since I thought I was just being paranoid), and a scary man who followed me a block across my city to my street also set off this feeling (which I also attributed to paranoia, so I did tests to confirm I was being followed, and then had to use the "don't acknowledge that you're in danger" technique again to protect myself - I managed to get to the store at the bottom of my street, casually tell the cashier I was being followed, and then pretend to make a transaction as the guy loitered in the back waiting for me to leave, until the manager let the cashier walk me up to my house). I even got the danger feeling from a man making eye contact with me once when I was a kid, and recently I found out that he was a pedophile.

This is all very rambly and makes me sound completely batshit but that's why I don't tell anyone about it. Please don't laugh at me.

No. 315380

for a while now, since my teens, i’ve wished i had a stalker / someone who was obsessed with me. it’s odd because i’ve had a stalker. it was weird and made me extremely uncomfortable… yet i still want to be stalked? kidnapped even? maybe it stems from my wanting to constantly escape. idk. but i do know it’s fucked.

No. 315383

It sounds like you need to see a psychiatrist. I think this is a pretty common phenomenon that can be treated medically for better or worse.

No. 315395

there’s nothing wrong with being attracted to asians and not white people, and also stop taking the bait

No. 315691

I'm on a waiting list for a psychologist because of depersonalisation and anxiety, but I don't want to let on too much about what's happening in my head in case I get put back on something like Seroquel. I'm a bit mistrustful of doctors/psych professionals after being given a BPD diagnosis aged 18 that turned into bad medications and constant dismissal of concerns by psychiatrists. (When I managed to see an actual BPD specialist she told me I don't even have it and started talking about PTSD instead, so for all those years I was ignored over something that isn't even true! Yay!)

No. 315712

I'm obsessed with a friend online (who has preferred to remain somewhat anonymous) to the point where I've found out their real name, found a picture of them and spent copious amounts of time reading posts they've written, and they have no idea. I'm ashamed.

No. 315716

I slept with my coworker ages ago but we never ended up doing it again because I started seeing someone else. I'm so in love with the person I'm seeing now but I miss my coworkers dick. We're on good terms still and are just friends but sometimes at work I can't help but fantasize about it.

No. 315717

this is fucking hilarious and genius, i need to start doing the same thing. i always get teased for never leaving my house lol

No. 315718

I don't have a social life but even when I have photos on my phone I just delete them, I hate storing stuff on there and always prefer it on my pc straight away. My lack of contacts is more embarrassing, I have no excuse for that kek.

Not that anyone cares though, people who know me well enough to touch my phone know that I'm not a social butterfly.

No. 315773


This was me at one time anon, and I got married to him.

Good luck!

No. 315939

I'm kinda sad that I never had like an affair with any of my teachers in highschool, it was always like a weird fantasy of mine. I don't mean like the ones that are married or with families, I didn't fantasize about breaking up a family or anything but I guess its just the power dynamic that I really wanted. I know it's like a weird confession but eh now I'll never get to unless I do it in college or something but i'm in a relationship now so. I guess this dream will die.

No. 315943

i had a crush on my unmarried, depressed english teacher in hs and toyed with the idea of doing something about it but never did. well, a few years after i graduated he got fired for sleeping with a student and the appeal of that fantasy just shattered. it would be so fucking humiliating and guilt inducing to have the story plastered around the local news, have furious parents talking to me and him, etc etc. so glad i never did it.

No. 315982

This is old but same anon. I don't know if it makes me heartless but honestly… if I knew my baby would be disabled I would have an abortion.
>>inb4 "But anon what if you parents did that to you if you were disabled!!11"
I'd be happy. I'd resent them forever if my parents decided to have me and I was like retarded or something. I don't want to be taken care of my entire life and become a burden on my parents until they die. Fuck that.

No. 315989

I was the same anon, until I slept with a professor in college and it fucking wrecked me lmao just let the dream die I promise it's not worth it

No. 316000

I judge the shit out of people who share my name. There's like this unconscious judge for people to rep my name and I low key get pissed off when someone acts foolish and I find out I have the same name as them. Thankfully, only one lolcow has ever shared my name and it's spelt retardedly.

No. 316018

My bf and I agree on this which is such a weight off my chest. I couldn't bring something into this world knowing it would have to rely on everyone else for even drinking water. I guess it's animal instinct we run on, leave the weak to die and move on with the stronger herd.

I guess what fuels this more is that I work with kids and a lot of them are in special education classes, or should be. At first I didn't, but now I resent them so often and their parents for having them. Not mildly autistic kids, but the ones who scream and claw at their own faces if the room is above normal speaking voice, which we have to get above often. How can you force this child to live tormented every day and force everyone else to deal with it too? It's selfish in every way possible because someone wanted a kid.

No. 316063

No. 316243

I thought I was the only one who did this! I always feel like I'm in competition with other girls who share my name - it didn't start until my middle school friends ditched me in high school for a girl who shared my name, after they told me she was just like me but better (yikes)

No. 316342

i used to work at a bar and i'd steal some of the credit cards people forgot the nite before and go on shopping sprees with the working ones.

never got caught.

No. 316356

All my high school teachers were ugly as sin so I got jipped big time. I blame anime for giving me the student/teacher fantasy and kinda wish I could experience it.

Lol more power to you tbh.

No. 316376

as someone that has access to people's cc data at work… the fuck is wrong with you two

No. 316377

as someone that has access to people's cc data at work… the fuck is wrong with you two

No. 316389

wen ur poor u scrap for g

No. 316479

That’s embarrassing

No. 316543

How did you not get caught did they not see the charges on their account

No. 316556

i never spent too much, most banks will just reimburse the card if it's less than 3k. to make sure they'd get their money back, i wouldn't use cards from credit unions or anything, just big banks.

nothing embarrassing about getting free shit on corporate dime.

No. 316558

>uwu im poor its okay to steal

this is just as embarrassing as those shoplifting tumblrs and subreddits

No. 316568

I wouldn't care if you knew no actual people didn't suffer bc of your actions, but you don't. There's a very real possibility that people who are busy and don't monitor their cards or whose companies didn't catch the activity, are paying for your shopping sprees.

No. 316570

No. 316571

I wish you nothing but the worst in life.

No. 316579

thank you anon! i'm currently engaged to a rich man who's family owns a news station. i'll be thinking of you as i look out the window of our $4k/month apartment~

No. 316582

I had an english teacher I thought was a really nice guy but he was only at our school for two years or so. He was very gay and tried to cover it up from the students by saying he was in a LDR with a gf. Years later I was working with a guy who was my underclassmen and he said, disgustedly, that the teacher kept messaging him on Facebook to hookup after he graduated. Thought about it later and realized the teacher would have only seen him when he was around 14-15.

No. 316583

You're just as shitty then lmao.

No. 316594

NTA but if anyone had any doubts, you just confirmed that you are human garbage. Does your super rich fiance know you were robbing people and are proud of it? Or did you tell him that you were an uwu poor cinderella that had to steal 3k from ccs for bread and water?
I can't imagine being so fucking vile and so stupid to rob your clients using their credit cards. A sane person would touch the card only to get it back to the owner. I can't imagine having so little respect for your work, other people and for yourself to do such thing.
I really hope you are trolling, cause the thought of running into such trash person makes me feel sick.

No. 316604

lmao! at first i thought you were a luna, but now you sound like vicky.

No. 316607

>Swearing at criminals is just as bad as ruining innocent people's lifes!!!
You're one massive cunt. One day you will get caught and fucking regret it. I hope to god you're just a baiting robot.

No. 316613

>>Engaged to a rich man

No. 316616

nah, not trolling fiance doesn't care, and the bar owner didn't either considering the cards were left on the counter by the phone and we'd toss them out at the end of the week.

i will say though that it's super funny that any of you think anyone ITT or on the rest of the site gives a fuck about your opinions. trying to moralfag on anon is pathetic.

No. 316617

whatever helps you sleep at nite bby.

No. 316629

File: 1540578472051.jpg (31.03 KB, 480x480, 12552807_1029873553702389_8796…)

we got a real winner here.

No. 316662

I used to put out to get weed and on one hand I'm really embarrassed and ashamed and feel horrible about myself.

On the other hand i feel like i was a person that needed help and everyone else was failing me and more focused on shaming me very intently and specifically for using weed heavily which put me in a cycle of feeling ever shittier about myself and using spoiler alert more weed.

Now i at least don't do that and am regularly trying to tone it down or take breaks…but I'm finding it harder than everyone tells me it should be, and all this shame and emotional abuse piled on me about being an addict makes me just try to hide my use, use it more, and never feel like i can safely be vulnerable to anyone that might be able to help to say "I'm an addict and i think you're right i should stop but i don't know how."

I can't deal with the crushing shame and all the horrible judgment and things that might come from recovery. Why is recovery like this. Why do i have to be whipped to shreds about how I'm a very bad person if i ever want to recover. Why does my recovery supposedly depend on it. I don't understand.

Why can't i just be a normal fucking person, a good person, a person who isn't getting high because the emotional toll of life is just too much.

No. 316666

Watch out anon, soon you'll get flooded with responses like
>uhm, you can't get addicted to weed?! I smoke every day, it's completely harmless, alcohol is much worse…

No. 316672

Or if not that even more awesome emotional abuse about how it must just be me because they are totally more responsible and don't have a problem.

Missing the whole point of why the fuck would anyone want to admit they've got an addiction problem when the entire philosophy behind recovery is making addicts prostrate themselves with how horrible and bad and no good they are and thus need something or someone better to look to and obey. You know, fuck empathy and all this research about success in harm reduction therapy and all that.

No. 316689

Me too, it's such a stupid thing too and I never thought about it consciously before reading the OP anon's post. I'm a competitive personality but this is just all sorts of dumb.

No. 316715

This is retarded and such a weird, insecure mindset. Someone named their kid the same thing your parents named you so…you're upset and "competitive" about it? Get over yourselves. Anyone with the same name as you is probably a better and cooler person than you if this is your sad way of thinking.

No. 317075

lol, if that's insecure than what does it say about me where i have a similar thing but i'm embarrassed around people with my name because i'm afraid they'll think i'm a lamer version of them

No. 318268

I get butterflies and horny when I watch the music videos of a shitty singer from my country, because he looks a lot like my bf, I think I associate his face with pleasure. I feel extremely retarded and desperate every single time. I think I'm dick whipped.

No. 318271

You sound like an embarrassing person with a common name.

No. 318280

No…I think they're right. Your mindset is some funny childish bullshit.

No. 318282

Nta but you sound mentally ill.

No. 318299

>being this upset over someone's inner monologues

It's the secrets thread. Get over yourselves.

No. 318301

You're the one who's embarrassing, anon, not them. And now you sound delusional and supa yoonique tryhard.

No. 318303

Okay? People can input their opinion on your secrets and if it's cringey, youre gonna get called out. This isn't reddit.

No. 318309

I'm just reflecting on the irony of you "calling out" my inner thoughts whilst you post on a website where farmers autistically compare themselves to lolcows and nitpick all the time.

Who knew something like this would trigger you so badly. Like wowie zowy, Scoob!

No. 318313

I like having a common first name/last name combo. It's kinda rare in my specific area so it isn't like I'm one of many of the same name, but you won't ever find me if you happen to google it.

I've googled people with more unique names and found some cringey shit like their high school twitter accts and stuff. I'm glad you can't really find stuff like that on me (but I also didn't attach my whole government name to those kinds of things so).

No. 318333

You're the one getting mad at people thinking you're a bitter retard for thinking you're better than people with the same name as you. You're the only person triggered here, bud. You're genuinely insufferable lmao

No. 318345

i know what happened at cinemassacre behind the scenes, especially with mike and bootsy

No. 318349

I'm irritated because you're the type of person who comes to a secrets thread thinking you're being clever with your callout culture because secrets are gasp sometimes cringe and insecure–as most secrets tend to be.
It makes you sound way more insecure than me or anyone who related to it, almost like you're afraid people are secretly doing this to you. I've already pointed out how common it is for people to be competitive and wanting to compare as evidenced by the culture on this website, and yet you insist you're above it.
I highly doubt that.
You just wanted an argument.

No. 318350

>thinking you're better than people with the same name as you

Samefag but of course you'd bastardize what I'd originally said too just so you can spreg the fuck out.

No. 318433

I never actually read homestuck. I cosplayed from it for years, voiceacted in fan comics, bought merch, drew the characters- but I never got past act 1. I never even saw the trolls get introduced in order. I read a handful of pages, played one of the games near the end (with the beforus trolls) and watched the ending animation.

that was it.

Literally all my current IRL friends I made through HS, even though none of us are in the fandom anymore (aside from passing comments or a doodle every couple of months). None of them can ever know I'm a fraud. I learned every specific detail I know either through tumblr osmosis back when it was big, or by drilling myself on their handles, names, and blood colors on the wikia.

I'm a homestuck fraud. That's my confession. I'm a fake fan.

No. 318435

I gasped.
What a wild story.

No. 318438

no1curr. keep calling other people spergs wen ur sitting here pathetically spazzing out typing two posts to the same person. get over your horrid personality already….

No. 318440

holy shit anon same … we can't be the only ones tbh

No. 318447

Anon are you me? I was obsessed with homestuck but I never read the webcomic besides a few troll interactions. Tbh I found the webcomic to be long and boring. I didn’t really care about the main plot with the kids, but I liked the trolls so I followed their storylines through wikia, tumblr posts, and octopimp videos on YouTube (lol if you remember him). I never made irl homestuck friends even though I knew people who liked it because I was afraid they’d know I didn’t read it kek.

No. 318452

it's wild. I knew enough about it via research and people on tumblr that when asked I just told people I started reading before cascade. I had deep opinions on characters and everything and nobody ever suspected. I feel like some sort of extremely nerdy spy. Infiltrating the homestuck base.

No. 318522

This is like every bandwagon fan ever and they consist of like 90% of a popular fandom, you're most likely not alone

t. that obsessive fan (not homestuck) who rees at fake fans who don't even read that shit and are only there to milk the fandom

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