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No. 265665
I used to be pretty frumpy and stewed in that for several years. But now that I'm taking care of myself and feel confident enough to consider approaching boys on my level, I find most of them are disappointing.
I usually sleuth through a guy's socials before making a move, and so far they've been:
>a stoner party boy
>a religious nut
>a person who condones child abuse
I think for me it's part bad luck and part that my preference goes hand in hand with religion, so it's just probability that a large chunk will sadly be a lost cause. The stoner genuinely shocked me, though.
So, I'm not going with the "men are shit" reason, I just think people in general are pretty troubled. I've met a lot of women that are unstable and who I wouldn't want to hypothetically date, either.
Attractiveness probably plays some part in attracting guys on the street, but men actually have a wider range of preferences than we give them credit for. The decent ones you want are more lax, anyway.
Being more outgoing would probably help, if not for dates then just for your own self improvement. Along with getting a "better personality." If you're constantly negative and mean to innocents irl it would help everyone for you to do some self reflection. And you can cure "being boring" by losing yourself in your interests, which may distract you from your loneliness anyway.
Of course this is all advice from a fellow lonely gal, so take it with a grain of salt. I just know how to cope now.
This thread may be better in /g/ btw.
No. 265695
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I'm an ugly and socially retarded NEET. No man could be attracted to me except for ones who would want to degrade and humiliate me. Such is life.
No. 265716
>>265711As
>>265696 said, it’s bacially just luck.
I’m very ugly and awkward with high standarts and I met a guy who’s very kind and good looking and into the same things as me. We have been together for 2 years so never lose hope.
I’d say being rare or “niche” in your looks/interests helps a bit.
No. 265752
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I grew up in a household with a drunk catholic dad that would constantly berate the women in our family. The constant vitriol that (still) comes out of his mouth put me off being personal to guys for most of my life so far.
After highschool I had one boyfriend for a week or so (we knew each other in hs but he was two years older) and broke it off because the thoughts running in my head were things like
>his ex was a better person than you
>he’ll hate you because you don’t have a job
>why make someone else drive you around everywhere
>you’re just going to wind up depending on him and offer nothing back
I feel better now and know to ignore my family but I’m still really timid and isolate myself
No. 265755
>>265740everyone's standards are so normal, get ready for some actually mental ones
>tall>either korean, japanese, chinese, or danish/swedish and blonde>has a good job, ambition, works hard>enjoys keeping the house tidy and doing chores>good cook>exercises>thin, fit and not overly muscular>doesnt use cannabis>has a mellow, passive, laid-back personality (almost a pushover or doormat)>doesnt want kidsthis would be ideal, i dont ever expect to get anyone that perfect tbh
No. 265773
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back in my younger retail days, I used to work with a pair of conventionally attractive guys who both admitted they had feelings for me
didn't pursue any of them because my autistic ass was more concerned with roleplaying online
i regret it every day, over five years later i've yet to hold a job with any attractive, younger dudes to talk to whatsoever. i fucked up
No. 265822
>>265740When I was 19 my friends encouraged me and said that one day I'll meet a nice guy, "because I deserve it". Nearly four years later I'm still a kissless virgin, so maybe I actually should lower my standards lol
>my height or taller (5'10)>slim with some muscle tone>conventionally attractive>charming smile>not Black, Arab or Latino>no beard>longish hair>clear skin>not a stoner or drug addict>no SJW or somebody who's too much into politics>would be cool if he plays an instrument or is at least into rock>willing to wait until I'm ready for sex>doesn't need to be rich or super hardworking, but at least going somewhere in life>no mental issues>easygoing>not clingy or romanticThe last point might sound weird, but whenever I see a couple who can't keep their hands (and mouths) off of each other or if the guy is super emotional (crying, etc) I feel like this is what I would want the least. Just occasionally meeting up and doing something together would be enough for me lol
No. 265834
>>265783That’s like my bare minimum. Trust me, yours aren’t high.
>>265740>must earn enough to match my lifestyle>well educated and eloquent >handsome and physically fit, 6’1+>a good family who he gets on with, preferably close but not dependent >no crazy exes >no commitment issues, no prior history of cheating, absolutely zero lying, no red flags essentially>must like to travel, and be okay with long flights>must like to read, analyze fiction, and enjoy respectful debates>no drugs, drinking is okay if socially/maturely>cannot be Republican, support Trump>must support universal healthcare, voting rights, immigrants, and free education >would be nice if he smokes cigars, drinks whiskey, and goes to the range like my dad so they can bond>impeccable manners>happy to settle down with a house and kids in the near future>enjoys but is not addicted to: video games, tv shows, books, etc>absolutely no addictions>vegetarian >supports traditional manners and polite etiquette, opens doors, stands when people enter room, etc>ambitious and devoted to work, has dreams of his own that he’s committed too>ideally blonde or ginger so I can pass my ginger genes on, blue or green eyes, lean muscle>well-groomed, except on legs/chest/pubes, and very well-dressed. Must care about his appearance and wear well-fitted, well-made clothes>tidy but doesn’t have to do chores or cook>must like all animals, especially cats and dogs. Super bonus points if vet or works with animals in some capacity >must appreciate a tidy and beautiful home filled with nice furniture and decorations. My home looks like a magazine. I’d like someone who appreciates that and doesn’t dismiss is (cough ex cough)>understands politics but doesn’t sperg about them >no collectibles unless they are books, games, movies, or very very well made figures (NO pop vinyls at all ever full stop)>likes board games>mostly vanilla in bed, loving and sensitive, sex at minimum 4 times a week>generous with money but understands how to save. Not a cheapskate but doesn’t compulsively buy either>NO FASTFOOD EVER. It is disgusting, makes cum taste like absolute garbage, and I don’t want a partner who dies at 50There’s more but I think I’m done. Basically, must fit into my life without any drama or issues. Must be similar to myself and my family, must have a similar lifestyle. I know I’m desirable. I’ve dated before and know what didn’t work. I get plenty of offers. But I watched my mum go through a painful divorce and now she’s with an amazing guy so I know compatibility exists and you shouldn’t settle. I’d rather be alone than be with someone subpar. Honestly, I don’t expect to be alone. Love is blind which is why I won’t even entertain a relationship with anyone not meeting these criteria. I’ve done it before, I got in deep with underserving guys, and I’m not interested in doing it again (hence rejecting the numerous offers that come my way).
No. 265841
>>265776Man I knew it was going to look like shit but I didn't expect it to be
that nightmare inducing wow
No. 265872
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>>265834god you sound exhausting. not from how you describe your ideal man but from how you describe yourself.
let me guess- you have balayage hair
No. 265878
>>265872No, I don’t.
>>265858Socially with the guys during Sunday dinners, not all of the damn time. Its not going to kill him at fifty to occasionally smoke a cigar and have two fingers worth of whiskey
No. 265884
>>265879Fast food wasn’t in my life at all growing up. I haven’t eaten it since my last relationship ended about eight months ago. It’s really not hard to abstain. And by “fast food” i mean chains like McDonalds and Taco Bell. Not French fries at a proper restaurant.
Besides, my ex used to eat fast food all the god damn time and it made his cum taste absolutely vile. That shit was traumatic. That’s obviously why I’m turned off by man-babies who think two McDoubles and a milkshake is a dinner. I was being hyperbolic about “NEVER” it’s just so fucking aggravating to me.
No. 265894
>>265887I saw his credit card statement once (while doing paperwork shit) and it was literally
>Taco Bell>McDonalds>Taco Bell>Panda Express>Taco Bell>sushi>GOD FUCKING DAMN TACO BELL>Jack in the Box>McDonalds He was lean and looked physically fit but I cringe at thinking what a greasy crunch wrap for breakfast was doing to his body. His credit card statement looked like that of a teenager. It was honestly a problem for me.
>>265886It was awful. Truly. I gag on the memory.
>>265891A woman having standards and knowing their ideals, what a pain! Nothing I wrote was out of the realm of possibility and a lot of it is just ideological, like vegetarianism, which really factors into a compatible lifestyle. I think it’s funny that OP asked for our standards and women are expected to go “oh nice and funny!” Like the women above me. When someone comes on who has seriously dated before and knows exactly what will work for her, she’s told she’s a pain in the ass and her compatible partner doesn’t exist. Newsflash: not all men are incompetent and being nice isn’t exceptional behavior. Women should have higher standards than just “doesn’t beat me or cheat on me, and likes me!!” Y’all need some better self-esteem
No. 265898
>>265895Nope.
You guys are kinda pathetic trying to play the guessing game. Yeah I’m desirable and yeah I have a nice home. Sorry admitting that
triggered you. You guys have
got to work on your self esteem. It’s telling that a woman who knows what she wants is so upsetting for you and is causing you to lash out with childish insults about my non-existent bangs and glasses.
No. 265901
>>265898It’s not about a woman having standards it’s that anybody with a list 20 items long of characteristics they demand in a partner is being unrealistic and comes across like they’ve never interacted with adult humans before.
Give the big quasi-feminist speech a rest and consider that normal adults who have relationships didn’t seek partners who fit a lengthy and arbitrary checklist.
You’re putting huge value in things that could easily be compromised in a real adult relationship. Grownups care more about who’s doing the dishes than someone having a dumb figurine on their desk.
You sound incredibly immature and inexperienced and I’m guessing it’s because you’re very young.
No. 265902
>>265901>Grownups care more about who’s doing the dishes than someone having a dumb figurine on their desk. Except I’m willing to do the dishes, and all the housework. I enjoy chores. I’ve been the one to do them in the past and I’ll be the one to do them in the future, unless he likes doing them too. Then we can do together! But it’s not a
requirement for him to do anything in the home chore wise.
Also I was making a joke about how ugly pop vinyls are. Cause they’re hideous. I explicitly said “collection”. One or two is obviously fine. I just don’t want to live with someone who has a wall filed with them.
You seriously tried to pick apart my list because it bothered you so much I wasn’t a humble good woman writing like the above posters did. I know what works for me. I know what compatibility looks like. I know what I can compromise on and what drives me crazy. You’re not me and you’re clearly not my future partner, so I don’t get why you’re so invested in trying to put me down for my list when it’s clear you’re just trying to blow it out of proportion because you’re insecure. I even said “ideally” and “would be nice” because a lot of the list isn’t a hard-fast dealbreaker unless I said “must.” It’s a guideline of what I’m looking for.
What’s yours?
No. 265903
>>265902Lmao, you’re determined to make this some feminist diatribe when it’s about you being emotionally immature.
Good luck with your list. Maybe one day you’ll find a perfect 10/10 waifu you’re after, legbeard.
No. 265904
>>265901i dont think she sounds young. she just sounds like she has a huge stick up her ass, but that's okay.
>>265902nta, but i agree with you about figurines and shit, and not just funko pops, literally any. you sound like your priorities are in the wrong place wrt quite a bit of it, and you sound like an annoying elitist that's a chore to be around, but i'm glad you are secure in yourself enough to not settle. i don't think we should be telling women to settle. women do enough of that shit already.
>>265903she really doesn't sound like a legbeard. she sounds like a normie as fuck careerist/basic bitch with high standards.
No. 265908
>>265904imo she sounds like those redpill dudes who say ‘I work so I deserve a 10/10 virgin housewife who never ever disagrees with me’
Standards are great. Everyone has them. When your standards become a list of over twenty items it’s just pedantic dreaming from someone who’s never had an adult relationship.
No. 265909
>>265904I don’t mean to be an elitist. I’ve dated people who made absolutely no money and it was just a bitch. Either I felt guilty for how I lived, they tried to keep up and made stupid decisions, or I had to stop doing the things I liked (primarily travel). And I can’t deal with the stress of them not knowing where their next paycheck is coming from or if they’re going to work enough hours to split the bills. I don’t want them to feel like a burden or for them to take advantage. I need stability and equality. It’s not like I’d sit there comparing our incomes, but at a certain point it just becomes argument fodder and frustrating for both people. You can tell when you both earn a similar amount just based on your lifestyles. I want someone who has a steady income and isn’t in a state of despair about their finances. That’s what I mean by “lifestyle” and I really really don’t think that’s too much to expect.
And god damn do women settle. I mentioned it before but my mum settled for my dad. And it was painful. Their marriage was painful. Their divorce was painful and to this day it’s just ugh. So I know when I want kids and I want a future with someone, I’m aiming for compatibility above all else.
No. 265915
>>265909the income isn't the elitist part. it's more this shit:
>would be nice if he smokes cigars, drinks whiskey, and goes to the range like my dad so they can bond>supports traditional manners and polite etiquette, opens doors, stands when people enter room, etc>must appreciate a tidy and beautiful home filled with nice furniture and decorations. My home looks like a magazine. I’d like someone who appreciates that and doesn’t dismiss is (cough ex cough)>NO FASTFOOD EVER. It is disgusting, makes cum taste like absolute garbage, and I don’t want a partner who dies at 50>must like to read, analyze fiction, and enjoy respectful debatesi dont think a lot of your stuff is unrealistic, it's just that you sound like a really boring, condescending person, but i think it only makes sense for those people to specifically seek out other people that are similar. the fast food evverrrrr sperging is uptight and hyperbolic, and really, you just sound unlikable is more the problem than the actual list, imo. how old are you, out of curiosity?
>>265908i dont see that. i think she just sounds bratty and elitist and SUPER fucking WASPy, but not like, legbeardy. and i think she maybe confused 'standards' with 'ideal partner' because the list is supposed to be of 'musts' and she included a number of 'ideally's or 'would be nice', etc
No. 265921
>>265913>It would be niceIt’s just a nice thought because one of my exes did and it was really nice. It’s obviously not required or a deal breaker. Just nice
And I don’t see how liking guys who reads etc is elitist kek. And if you don’t enjoy
friendly debates (not just slinging insults) you’re gonna have a shit time at my family’s get togethers.
Also the fastfood sperging was a god damn joke, as was saying I gag at the thought of fast food cum. If you actually thought I was serious about being traumatize, like wow. LI don’t want a guy who eats fast food for every meal. And I don’t wanna swallow shit tasting cum. ~drama~ Idk why everyone gets so serious on here. It’s a list that I wouldn’t share with anyone irl that I wrote for fun based on what would be
nice. I want a man who doesn’t eat shit food. Is that really such a high standard?
It’s so weird so many anons would take so much offense to it when I didn’t even think anyone would respond to begin with. I mean, it’s helpful for me because it’s making me self-reflect and analyze my preferences but I don’t know y’all are getting out of it. Its just a list based on what I know were issues in my past relationships and what I’m looking for going forward.
>>265915>because the list is supposed to be of 'musts' and she included a number of 'ideally's or 'would be nice', etcFor the musts, I put “must.” But yeah most of it is just ideals not dealbreakers. My standard of what would be ideal kek. I’m not patrolling fucking vet clinics looking for a vet to bone. It would just be
nice and really fitting if he was a vet.
I think a lot of the list probably required background that I didn’t consider when pumping it out and a few anons misunderstood what I wrote and jumped at the chance to insult me which is whatever but a waste of time.
Just writing the list in a different way
>My whole family is vegetarian. If you’re not, it’s gonna be a bad time for you. >My whole family lives overseas. If you ever plan on meeting them, be prepared to pay for a plane ticket and travel. My traveling is non-negotiable.>Probably relevant sidenote but I have parents with OCD. We (my siblings, my parents, me) take a lot of pride in our homes. A lot of people don’t give a shit how their house looks. Cool, good for them. But I want a partner who does. I want someone who likes coming home to a beautiful living space that’s clean and inviting. I get actual anxiety if my house is messy. And if I spent a lot of time doing something around the house, it means a lot to get praise for it (like sanding down and painting furniture). >If you don’t read and if you don’t like discussing media, we probably won’t have a lot in common.>I have pets, my family has pets. If you don’t like animals, you’re going to have a bad time.>If you don’t make enough money to pay rent and you’re insecure about it, you’re going to have a bad time.>If you hate immigrants. I am one. So we will both have a very toxic and bad time.>If you dont believe in universal healthcare, given my field of work, god damn are we both going to have a shit time.>If you collect copious amounts of figurines, especially like Funkpop, I hope you’re prepared for them to be somewhere not on display. >If you eat fast food for every meal instead of healthy, home cooked food, I’m going to question your judgment, capabilities, and tastes. It’s a bad choice, makes blowjobs way less enjoyable for me, and is immature.>If you have a crazy ex, I’m going to assume you have bad judgment and I don’t want to deal with that fall out. >I don’t care about your race or ethnicity. It would be cool if you’re blonde or ginger because it would be cool if I had a redhead like my mum. But otherwise it’s completely whatever for me. >I’m tall. Everyone in my family is tall. Trust me, you don’t want to be the only one under 5’11 in our family photos. >I don’t like receiving oral but I love giving it. >I don’t expect you to do any of the housework but I don’t mind if you do. >I don’t care how long you work, as long as you’re not taking work stress out on me. >number of kids is negotiable but I do want kids in the future. >if you don’t have good manners, you’re going to be absolutely fucked when you meet my family. I don’t care what you’re like when we’re in private or with friends, but good manners are essential for a lot of different timesAnd just thought of another one
>must be nice to service staffBeing rude to people, especially people just trying to do their job, is a big dealbreaker for me.
No. 265931
>>265926no, they don't. most women i know would rather rub one out a million times over than have sex with people they don't care for for the sake of having sex. that's entirely the reason why robots are so disgruntled, because women don't typically just settle for any warm dick. the appeal of sex is largely emotional for me and i prefer someone like that. i don't just want to have sex with any 'attractive' men bc i'm horny or w/e
>>265928i specifically required someone submissive. it's not like i ever expected to stroll down to the local bar and find a guy like this. the requirement was not that they never have masturbated in their lives, just that they don't masturbate if we're dating/engaged/married. if they're submissive, it isn't a crazy request.
>>265927idk why she thinks it's so unrealistic when i'm already with someone like that. apparently it wasn't all that unrealistic.
No. 265932
>>265921You’re the only one here who has been offended anon. Pointing out why I think you’re immature isn’t slinging insults. You’re desperately trying to turn this into something it’s not.
You were mildly criticised and have spent hours defending a silly little list of traits in an imaginary man. Especially if you’re basing this list of of your one bad ex.
Once you’ve experienced a real relationship you’ll hopefully see why this massive list has been a source of entertainment, but you’ll need far thicker skin if you’re so damn hurt over being called immature and silly.
If you weren’t seething you wouldn’t be defending yourself so hard over any of this.
No. 265933
>>265931>most women i know would rather rub one out a million times over than have sex with people they don't care for for the sake of having sexwat
then how come you dont want him to ever touch himself?
No. 265935
>>265932Keep pushing the narrative that I’m seething and really really hurt over strangers guessing I have ugly glasses and bangs. Brb sobbing into my pillow. This has been a good excercise for me to do. Hope you got something out of your bitching, too.
>one bad exPowers of intuition failed you again, I’m afraid. It’s just not been your night.
No. 265940
>>265928Maybe they subscribe to the belief that watching porn or getting off to anything other than their partner is cheating?
There’s a lot of people out there who feel that way.
Either that of it’s part of the controlling aspect of dominant/submissive style relationships which anon said they wanted. She wants to control/own his sexuality sorta thing?
Weird imo what different strokes I suppose.
No. 265942
File: 1530839746577.gif (1.26 MB, 443x259, giphy (5).gif)
Femcels have the same black and white thinking as incels do huh
No. 265943
>>265936i didn't say 'most women', retard. i said 'most women i know'. most women in my life. your reading comprehension is for shit.
>>265937thank you. exactly.
>>265934i don't think it's more common than them, and i really don't think it's common at all, but i DO think it's more common than people think. it's definitely possible, and i'd prefer to be alone than not be with someone like that, anyways.
>>265939so you think men like that are prudes, it doesn't mean it's unrealistic, however. it seems your gripe is that you don't like 'prude' men.
No. 265959
>>265952>>265947>>265954you def sound like a robot
>>265946i think the salty anon is just a robot that's offended that there are better, more valuable men out there than him and he knows he can't compete, kek. he begs for me to fuck him and refuses to waste any of his cum, however, and it's adorable. idk why anyone wouldn't want this kind of dynamic, it's the cutest.
No. 265961
>>265955Married bisexuals aren’t closet lesbians but okay.
For real though I’ve never heard the term outside of historical novels or game of thrones and creepy middle aged perverts. What country are you from? It’s a hilarious thing to say.
Also, totally called it on the masturbating thing being a fetish/sexual control thing.
No. 265966
>>265959>i think the salty anon is just a robot that's offended that there are better, more valuable men out there than him and he knows he can't compete, kekDing ding ding.
They’ve been shitting up the thread
No. 265971
>>265964See how easy it was to answer a simple question without being dramatic or saying something retarded?
>>265965It was a bit much but at least they’re happy I suppose. It’s weirder that they think anybody who’s not in that dynamic is sad though. Cute is the last way I’d describe it.
No. 265982
>>265963>wanting guys to not be alpha chadsagain with the black and white thinking
>>265959>there are better, more valuable menno one thinks men who don't rub one out are more valuable except facebook moms
No. 265983
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>>265959There definitely seems to be a few robots in this thread. Who else would get this salty over a woman's preferences?
No. 265992
>>265982>no one thinks men who don't rub one out are more valuable except facebook momsokay, then color me, and a few anons in this thread so far, facebook moms. sweet, sentimental men that like reserving sexual things to being just between partners are incredibly valuable to plenty of women, sorry to disappoint you. maybe someone will feel defeated enough to settle for you one day.
>again with the black and white thinkingan anon literally said "what a disgusting beta" so ofc people are bringing up how some women dont like 'chads'. why are you so offended by a relationship where people don't masturbate, anyways? you sound addicted to masturbation to get this riled up about someone else's life, christ. there are plenty of people that demand that their potential partner never drink or do any drugs, even socially, just because of general incompatibility. this is no different.
No. 265997
>>265992Being okay with a partner masturbating means I’m addicted to masturbation myself?
I’m not the anon you’re arguing with but calm that reaching, Stretch Armstrong.
No. 266021
>>265740My standards are weird more than high.
>not white. I've read too many stories of women whose white partners fell for the racism meme, and I generally find white men less attractive anyway.>smaller and weaker than me (under 120 lbs and under 6ft)>agrees on my views of child abuse>showers daily>sexually submissive or at least vanilla. No doms. >not too devout religiously>pleasant to be around, tries to understand other people >not a misogynist>small circle of friends or none>likes animalsThat's bare minimum, otherwise I'd prefer if he was also an artist of some sort and had a big nose.
No. 266025
>>266024Fair enough.
Agreeing on how to discipline kids is crazy important.
A lot of people I know irl are getting engaged and pregnant without ever having discussed what they’d do and feel if a kid was fucked up and sickly or how they feel kids should be raised. One couple never discussed what religion the kids would be raised with despite the couple being Jewish and Methodist Christian.
Seems mental to even move in with someone if you disagree about fundamental shit but it looks like heaps of folks are doing it. Maybe I only know dumb people though.