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File: 1525988939010.jpg (112.35 KB, 1135x893, sad_shinji.jpg)

No. 248827

Last thread >>239880

Be sad here

No. 248830

File: 1525989579906.jpg (10.13 KB, 320x312, 30594222_1023667257784057_6588…)

Sometimes I am happy that I am not as ugly as say, a Slaton sister or Shaygnar or whatever, but then I remember I am just a few levels above. I hate PCOS and I hate society for making me believe I should be pretty above all else. I was such a happy kid.

No. 248832

I want to have real friends but I have no idea how to make those outside school. I kind of regret I didn't learn how to make and keep friends in a healthy way in my teens but fuck I can't really blame myself for being emotionally stunted.
At least I'm going to therapy now, so let's see if that helps.
Feeling lonely sucks ;_;

No. 248836

File: 1525992250363.jpg (66.79 KB, 500x602, tumblr_inline_p73dsfYoaA1stl91…)

I miss my ex-boyfriend even though we were absolute garbage to eachother.

No. 248838

I wish I weren't so autistically nervous around men. Doesn't matter the guy but cute men are especially troubling. Eye contact becomes a weird mix of look away, don't look away, and I don't know what to say to them when they try talking to me. I'm not good with being social in general but girls are generally easier for me to be comfortable around.

No. 248839

If he treated you like garbage and you guys didn't get along, then what's there to miss? The drama?

No. 248849

File: 1526005013673.jpg (30.69 KB, 1024x589, 0564e4a48f70097a56872203d28f64…)

I wish I could just buy a boyfriend.

I'd pay someone to pretend to be my bf just like an escort then take him to meet my parents and friends, take some pics together to prove my 'taken' status and never actually having to do anything.

I've never felt like having a relationship or cared about sex all that much, the reason I want a bf is because I care a lot about what people think and I'm just tired of being hit on and disrespected by men. Thinking about being with guys I know make me physically cringe tho, I'm not attracted to women either.

No. 248856

just make one up and buy yourself a fake engagement ring.

No. 248859

> because I care a lot about what people think
That's your problem, right there, anon. Fuck what other people think.

No. 248863

Some people were complaining that the Asian rapper Awkwafina acts "too black" which is "appropriation" even though she grew up in Queens and picked up her accent from where she lived. Meanwhile if black girls like Micky who grew up in the suburbs act ghetto it's totally fine. Sureee

No. 248916

Just wait for the virtual husbando revolution. Like Joi from BR2049, but Boi.

No. 248921

File: 1526057874869.jpg (605.07 KB, 969x1080, 1508891505069.jpg)

My ex was garbage and I miss them so much.
It's such a melancholic feeling, I have no clue why I want them at all, they ruined me.

It's sort of funny too, whenever they wont leave my head I just watch NGE.

No. 248944

I'm annoyed because my bf can't stick to a plan to save his life. We were supposed to have friends over at our place tomorrow for his birthday party. He asked me to bake a cake and everything, so I did and I invited our friends over just like we had planned. And then suddenly today he was just like "oh I'm gonna go visit my family I dont know when I'll be home."
And I'm just over her like, what? We're going to be having your birthday party and you don't know when youre coming? Why would you agree to a party and then not attend it? I don't get it.

No. 248947

That's annoying but if you enjoy the other people's company I say get lit and have a party.

No. 248954

tbf that's likely his family's fault and not his. families are really fucking annoying about birthdays and tend to plan stuff without telling you, but also insist you go. so even if he sucks at sticking to plans normally, there's likely a bit of that in there.

No. 248959

File: 1526071249706.gif (974.47 KB, 500x281, 1454669099371.gif)

My boyfriend's family's super disorganized and tend to just plan shit a few days before and make him go. For example, we were supposed to go to a con together with a bunch of my other friends and suddenly his family decides to go on a three-week trip to BC. I get that you might not have much choice when you're still living with them but it was real annoying to hear. I'm still going to enjoy my time with friends but uuuugh.

No. 248960

File: 1526071456351.png (480.37 KB, 507x430, 1503737917195.png)

I want to finally slowly start outing myself to my friends and family as lesbian and how I have loving gf and how precious she is to me, just like everyone does it.
Only worry is my mother who thinks having gay child is disgrace and failure as a mother. Like it would be starting a war with her and probably her side of family avoiding me, but I don't even really care I am not even close in any way with them, seeing them once a year.

No. 249032

I was angry when I wrote my original post but I've calmed down now and realize it's not such a big deal. We're going to just start the party without him but hold off on the cake until he gets home.
I guess I was more annoyed by the fact that this is a recurring problem with him, like for example he never wants to reserve anything or buy tickets beforehand for anything because he's always changing his plans on the go. Whereas I'm a bit of a control freak and prefer to make reservations whenever possible even when they're not required. Plus I always end up having to wait for him because he's always like "this'll take 5 minutes" and it'll always take like 45 minutes… he sometimes makes our friends wait too which I hate even more, like I start to feel embarrassed as if it's my fault… bleh.

No. 249152

NTA but how do you get over this? I'm constantly preoccupied with what others think about me and am always secretly hoping to receive some sort of approval.

No. 249155

My boyfriend told me he was excited to come home and spend time with me, only to like forget about it completely and ended up playing videogames with his mates all night (which I don't mind at all)
But I am starting to feel like I am the second option when it comes to most things, maybe I'm just a little autistic and overthinking.

No. 249158

Bf sounds like a dick. That’s not ok. It’s disrespectful of you and your time

No. 249176

File: 1526171326394.jpg (7.94 KB, 259x194, download.jpg)

Living with my bf is like living with a teenager when it comes to chores and domestic responsibilities. The only thing I can say for him is that he pays rent on time and does his own laundry sometimes without my asking–although the loads occupy the machines for days.
I can't rely on him to tidy, clean, or do anything else without a prompt. And sometimes even when I ask he half asses things.
It's always
>I forgot.
>I'll do it later.
>I did it already (no)
>It didn't look that bad to me
These sound like passive aggressive excuses teenagers make to get their parents to do their chores.

Today I woke up and the kitchen was absolutely skanky.
I fell asleep on the couch, but bf stayed up to play video games until at least 6am.
Did he use any of that time to do dishes or even put away condiments from dinner? N-O.
He left it knowing I would do it.
Uncapped condiment bottles, trash not taken out, unwashed cookware and utensils, unran dishwasher, filthy counters, filthy stovetop, unswept floor, part of the fridge that he broke off days ago still lying about, rotting leftovers bf said he'd eat, and the list goes on.

I'm a very clean person and bf knows this shit triggers me. Foolishly, I used to try cleaning everyday but it just caused me to have a mental breakdown cause the place would be pigged up by the next day anyway. So I try not to be a "nag"; letting the place go for a day or two but by a couple days of being cool I expect cleaning shit to be together. But no. Obviously this doesn't work out 9 times out of 10.
So I spent my entire morning cleaning before work.
To be clear–if I was some spoilt bitch who stayed at home and spent hubby's paychecky I might be okay with being his maid. However I work 40 hours, and would like to actually relax when I'm home but I digress…

I had to touch, handle, and smell such gross shit that I was cussing a storm while doing so all out of frustration. Bf heard me but didn't come into the kitchen until 1pm because he knew the state had pissed me off.

When he finally came in I had a loud, angry tone towards him. I told him to take out the trash and scrub the bin with bleach because it was nasty from him having put garbage in there (""""accidentally"""") without a liner and ignoring it.
He said "Well you don't have to yell."
He doesn't have to spend every waking moment at home playing video games!!
In fact, he could proactively help out by doing small tasks and chores so things don't buildup so badly in the first place!

I should have said that but all I could think to reply with was to not invalidate my feelings by policing my tone.
My mother would have HAD MY ASS if I so much as left a dish in the sink, and then have an attitude about her scolding me? I would have been dead where I stood.

I hate how he takes such a victim stance when I'm rightfully angry and he's too uncomfortable to admit he's wrong. He does the task but never apologizes for what this shit does to me mentally. Then he tries to butter me up and get touchy with me after but I get too disgusted because I know that's all manipulation.

I just hate it. Our relationship would be fine otherwise if he was motivated and not a slob with excuses.

No. 249177

My bf just broke up with me out of nowhere for something he knew about since we first started dating several months ago.

Feels angry, sad, bad. Wish I had someone to talk to but at the same time don't want to burden others with my problems.

Wish I could just go into a coma and wake up a year from now. Also wish I wouldn't place so much importance on romantic relationships.

No. 249178

Your boyfriend sounds like my ex-fiancé. Apparently I was the biggest nag because I found filth triggering and wasn't impressed that he emptied the bins once every 2 weeks. Either get him on board with pulling his weight or ditch him he sounds incredibly selfish and immature. You'll be stuck being his mother. For 2 years my ex was unemployed and sat all day while I was at work for 40 hours a week playing video games. Never once did I come home to a prepared meal or a tidy home. Most days he would go to his ma's for lunch and only return home when he knew I was in. At the weekends when I finally had free time he would arrange trips away camping with his mates 'for a break'. I dumped him in 2014 and he still hasn't got a decent job and lives at his parents. I doubt he is ever going to move out.

No. 249182

My boyfriend and his sister are very close, and honestly, when they are together they can be pretty mean. It's mostly his sister.

I guess sometimes our personalities don't match. She's incredibly outward and aggressive, and very self-centered. I'm very passive. There's a lot of little things that get between us. She can often be very harsh with me and it hurts my feelings, but I can't confront her about it because I'm afraid of her (she tends to be very confrontational and is not opposed to yelling at people and insulting them all in the name of "honesty". So I tend to talk about my feelings to my boyfriend, and he often isn't much help because he doesn't know how to talk about feelings. So usually I end up feeling stuck and alone. I don't want to bad-mouth his sister but I don't know what to do about it.

Today, I wasn't feeling well so I sent them a message that I was sorry I couldn't go out with them tonight, and that I just wanted to let them know I love them and care about them very much. They completely ignored my message and just went on talking. I felt pretty bad about it and said that to my boyfriend. He brushed me off and said that they are just not "emotionally receptive". Am I crazy that it's pretty rude to not say anything back to a person when they tell you they care about you? Or am I just blowing everything out of proportion?

I know this seems overblown, but there are a lot of little things every day like this that drive me crazy. I am currently organizing a first meeting with a therapist because I can't seem to regulate my emotions and I want to learn more positive coping mechanisms. They make me feel like a crazy person, to be perfectly honest, and are the main reason why I'm seeking a therapist.

I could feel my emotions rising after I talked to my bf and I got mad and was pretty passive aggressive about tonight. I feel bad for being passive aggressive, but I don't know how to apologize when I'm still upset. I want to tell my boyfriend I'm sorry, but I'm not sure how. I am currently just not touching my phone because I don't want to talk to him while I'm still mad. I am nervous they are talking badly about me behind my back right now and I don't know what to do.

No. 249183

Unfortunately, men (and just people in general) expect others to be their maids. It's not only just our boyfriends/fiances/husbands; lazy people will expect you to clean up after them, and will act like you are an insane, raging harpy because you spend every waking moment cleaning up their filth and have the audacity to ask them to lend a hand with it.

I really believe it's just that people who developed good cleaning habits and a strong sense of ethic will be exploited and manipulated by people who would willingly live in pig stys, if they were so allowed. Ever since I moved out at 18, I have been the "maid" of the house. My mother and father instilled in me the importance of cleanliness; not only for health and hygiene, but also if you keep things clean and well cared for, they will last longer and you will save money. So when I began living with people whose mothers cleaned up after them their whole lives (or just never bothered to make them do chores,) I ended up picking up all the slack.

It's physically and mentally exhausting to constantly pick up after the people around you, and receive not thanks but spite. I can't believe that my roommates would constantly complain about me having to move the chairs to sweep, or that I would take dirty dishes from around the house to clean them. I have given up on asking for help, even from my boyfriend. I feel so defeated.

I know this isn't helpful to either of you, but just know that you are not alone in your struggle. I have so much more empathy for my mom now.

No. 249192

Stepping back from the situation, I think I am honestly a little crazy. I think I'm emotionally unstable and I really don't want to be.

I just emailed the therapist I want to work with. I truly don't want to be such a crazy piece of garbage. I need to be better than this.

No. 249204

Fuck anon, I'm sorry you went through that nonsense. The part about him going camping with his mates for a "break" is the worst–like bitch, break from what you don't work! Lol.

Although mine acts eerily similar. Every moment he's not at work he's either plopped in front of the tv/phone with games, or he's out with his friends drinking, trivia, and/or karaoke.
I mean if I asked him to cancel his plans for time with me he would, but of course that still makes me look bad and controlling.

I just don't know what these men are trying to escape from exactly? I'd be more understanding if he worked a super demanding job, with long hours, and had a lot of extraneous responsibilities outside work.
But he's a bartender at a restaurant and sometimes doesn't work a full 40 a week. If he feels under pressure then I don't know where the fuck from that's so unusual from what I, or any other normal person, feels. Yet I still manage to not be messy as do most other people.

I think this anon >>249183 is on to something about lazy people always finding someone to low key manipulate.

Anyway, I know there's not really a lot of answers to my situation but it makes me feel better to know I'm not alone in all this. I thank you for the replies, I feel a bit less bad now.

No. 249213

I don't think you're crazy anon. Being someone who's extremely passive myself, I can understand why you're hurt by their actions.
I don't think it's fair for your boyfriend to not care about your feelings just because it's his sister.
There was no reason to ignore you and brush off your feelings because they're "not emotionally receptive". That's bullshit and you're not crazy for thinking that they were rude, because they were. It sounds like they just use that as an excuse because they're assholes who don't give a shit and don't want to change.
A therapist will be good, especially since you said you were feeling very alone. Hopefully they can help you with the problems you're facing, and I hope your boyfriend and his sister can realize that they hurt you and apologize. I'd keep pushing how you feel, because he needs to recognize that he either treats you with respect and acts like he gives a shit, or you should leave and find someone who won't make you feel alone.
Also, don't apologize. You're not the one who should.

No. 249219

Thanks for your response, anon. It feels better to have someone who understands.
He sent me a message saying he was sorry that he hurt my feelings and he feels terrible that I feel so sad sometimes, and asked what he could do to help me. He's generally sweet and tries to see my side of things. I think he's just a bit emotionally stupid.
I don't think his sister will apologize, though. She does stuff like be rude or hurtful to me often and she's never apologized. (Most of the girls in our friend group are like this, and it makes me feel very awkward.)

It's nice to know that someone else doesn't think I'm crazy. I honestly think that it's mostly his sister who I have the most problems with. She's so aggressive and competitive and she usually talks to me like she's talking down to me. I really want to be her friend, but it's been difficult.
Even one of my other friends has told me that she acts very strangely around me and my boyfriend; my friend said she noticed that every time my bf gave me attention, his sister would pull him away and try to get him to pay attention to her instead. It's a very weird thing and I don't understand how to deal with her.

Thanks for telling me I should keep pushing my feelings. It's really hard for me to think I deserve to be respected and treated like I matter by anyone.

I'm sorry, I know I'm rambling. This is why I'm seeking therapy, haha. There's so much going on in my head and it's hard to put together. Thanks again, anon.

No. 249222

Also, I'm sorry but I'm getting very stressed out talking about this, so I won't be responding after this post. Good luck to all of you anons. You are all good and you deserve to feel better.

No. 249237

I'm anon that dumped fiancé do not feel sad for me. I moved on and got a place for myself and met a man that lives by himself and knows how to clean. We've been dating over 3 years and it's honestly so refreshing to not resent your partner. He even makes me dinner and gives me massages when I'm stressed.

Don't settle for selfish people they'll just fuck up your head.

No. 249240

File: 1526213325327.jpg (44.41 KB, 500x638, 37f4266197dc914860f26528f7f228…)

Welp, stayed up all night watching weight loss youtube videos.

It got me browsing through my folders of old cell phone pictures I saved from 2014-2016.
I was 100 pounds lighter then. Super active, I ran and went to the gym regularly. I never ate because I was happy and not stressed. I had just spent the previous two years losing 80 pounds. Also finished my grad program and had a lot of hope, a lot of free time too.

A couple years and a soul-suckin', sedentary job later, mixed with some depression and anger, and I'm saying hello to the obesity train again. Toot toot.
I think I've lost a collective total of ~400 pounds throughout my life and I've rebounded every pound and then some.

The sad part is recalling how I thought of myself at the time when the old photos were taken. l remember thinking I was a fat sack of shit and being so self-conscious, when undeniably it was my peak. I was healthy. I had no logical reason to feel that negatively, and now I wish I could go back to that tomorrow. But I can't, it's too late and now any progress will take another series of years.
Yet it's getting to the point where I'm miserable, again, and hate how I look, again, and facing the choice of either losing weight or committing sudoku…again. There really isn't a choice unless I wanna say 'fuck everything' and wind up on My 600 Pound Life eventually.

I downloaded the myfitness app again, but I still hate myself. It all feels like a silly game that I play myself with.
Maybe I'd feel less lonely and hopeless if I had a solid support system. Or maybe a fellow fattie to talk to?

Bf acts indifferent about my weight because he loves me, but doesn't try to actively be sexual with me anymore unless he comes home plastered, which I refuse. And I mean, I feel gross naked regardless of the fluff he tells me.

My parents are both overweight since they've quit smoking cigs, but they're trying to get better too. They mean well, but they don't set good examples and they always downplay my feelings about my weight because they're christian and think that looks don't matter. Whilst society and life screams at my face that looks do matter.
At that–I'm the only one in the family that's ever lost a significant amount of weight so there's no advice they could give me. They actually believe in a lot of myths.

Friends (esp people who first knew me when I was thin after weight loss) have ghosted me these days. Mostly because I shut myself in the apartment when I'm not at work, and my no-life work schedule makes that easier to achieve. A friend of mine tried to make me feel better and told me how I'm such a nice person and great friend, because when she first met me I was "so pretty" that she thought I was mean and stuck up. It's well-intentioned, but I couldn't help but smirk at the backhanded implication that I was no longer pretty and thus she felt less threatened around me. Ouch.

Other times I get unsolicited advice or weird fad bullshit, "Hey anon, try these pills that make you shit to lose weight!" All I can do is meekly say t-thanks lest I look like an ungrateful, know it all fatty fatso.

I know how to lose weight and I know what to do.
I just hate myself too much. Maybe subconsciously I'm not convinced I'm worth it. Maybe I can't deal with stress and how my life's turned out career-wise so I binge eat to feel better.
I'm not sure.

No. 249241

Oh anon, I have been struggling with weight as well lately. I managed to lose weight around 2011 and stayed like this until 2015. After that, everything basically went to shit. I didn't gain toomuch, but it's noticeable and it makes me feel very, very bad about myself. I started trying to lose it but it's hard. All these years, I stopped eating when I was stressed, and now… I suddenly started eating because it helped me coping. Not good.

It's a shitty thing that your friend said. It's not good for you to stay in the apartment all day. It's also because your fridge and all your food is there too. I tend to overeat when I stay at home. I don't know how the weather conditions in your region are, but have you tried playing PoGo? It helped me shed weight and was a good and fun way to go out. I even met some people through it.

No. 249270

every depressed, decaying neet, suicidal/morbidly fat person on this site has a fricking boyfriend lmao. This is always a shock to me because i get a picture from their preceding description that they're someone nobody would have any desire for, or be willing to put up with. I can only conclude that these boyfriends, while not really loving you, are hanging around out of laziness and enable your self-destruction. If the cosy, long term loveless boyfriend went away, you think you'd kill yourself but probably you wouldn't you'd actually feel an incentive to lose weight, get fit and get a new boyfriend on a better basis.

No. 249282

On a rampage there, aren't ya?
You sound…jealous.

No. 249295

I hope that's a joke. I can't word it right but i'm just trying to say that these anons are being killed by kindness, but that kindness is really more like ?? I dunno? what is the point of the relationship between the fat anon and her partner who isn't attracted to her anymore? where can it go? Why did the other anon support her bf for two years while he wasn't working or doing any cleaning? I'm not jealous I'm completely bemused by the relationships described on this site that persist because people forget themselves.

>>249240 this anon's bf is too scared to dump her but she should dump him and realise she's got a life that's her responsibility and reward

No. 249302

I agree, you have horrible articulation.

Secondly, there's absolutely no reason to call or assume anon's relationship is "loveless."
You honed in on two sentences about anon's relationship out of that entire vent, and then made up a conspiracy about how guys are only around women to covertly destroy their persons. How does that make sense? And that's a whole lotta assumption regardless.
>What's there to a relationship if you don't have sex?
You're more entertaining than you think, anon. Maybe when you grow up you'll find the answers to these questions instead of being edgy on lolcow.

No. 249312

File: 1526229749338.jpg (9.62 KB, 275x264, 1523815636815.jpg)

My bf is Chinese-Canadian and my mom is flipping a tit because "they make terrible husbands" and "who knows what kind of diseases they may have". Somehow I'm not surprised, but it's 2018 and she defends Muslims all the fucking time yet says shit like this.

No. 249313

>what kind of diseases they may have
Like, STI's or hereditary diseases? Either way that's ridiculous.

Sorry for you, anon.

No. 249314

STIs, Hepatitis, that kind of thing apparently.

No. 249315

Hey dickface, I can tell you why I stayed with someone for 2 years while he was a lazy cunt. Because I had to keep on top of my job, be social with my friends and family. It's exhausting dealing with someone so selfish and lazy that sometimes it was easier to just get on with life than completely uproot all our foundations (we were engaged planning for a future, at one point we were obviously in love).

Perhaps if you didn't have such a toxic mindset you could get close to a person and figure out that normal people are empathetic and give others chances.

Are you also bemused I started dating someone not selfish, who has a high paying engineer job and cooks me dinner and cleans after himself? Guess since I'm not a piece of shit I was able to naturally move on and find someone better for me. I guess experiences are really important, hopefully you'll have at least one fling before you die alone.

No. 249317

File: 1526232853224.jpg (79.66 KB, 960x611, IMG_9485.JPG)

I used to be the smartest kid in my class, from elementary school all the way to high school and I have an IQ above 130. But that doesn't mean anything anymore, because I'm in fucking medschool and even though my dream is to become a child psychiatrist it's destroying my life.

I had to do my first year twice (which is common in my country, because that first year is hell on earth with only a 15% success rate) and it's like it's blasted my brains. Ever since, I've had an awful time focusing on things. I've been suffering from depression for now almost 3 years and it's driving me insane. I'm currently in my second 3rd year because I missed too many finals the first time. I got in a psych ward earlier this year and while it helped me not killing myself, it didn't do much more. I feel like a disgusting slug unable to study for more than 1 hour a day and it's stressing me the fuck out. Plus my dad says I'm going to be expelled if I cant study more (which is false, thank god my uni is not that harsh, but is still awful to hear everyday).
I work at the hospital 3 mornings per week. While my patients usually like me, I can never get along with my classmates and I don't know how to make friends. The only friends I have live 700 km away from me.

I don't know what to do anymore. It feels like my brain is nothing more than scrambled eggs and I feel like neither my psychiatrist and therapist understand how much pain I'm in. I don't want to end it? I just don't want to suffer anymore.

No. 249318

and now for something completely different, i have been extremely sick (lol, food poisoning on steroids it seems?) and this is the first day i had a "proper" meal without feeling like vomiting the entire apt. thanks canada for your shit healthcare system, i would love to see a dr without waiting for months.

No. 249319

The people who think of themselves as progressive are usually super closet racists.
Just remember, it's not her boyfriend, as much as she will try to tell you otherwise.

No. 249322

File: 1526235323646.gif (2.17 MB, 286x210, 1460034359616.gif)

It's gonna be ramadan soon. It sucks because while I'm north African and living in Europe, I never considered myself Muslim but everyone assume I am, so a lot of Muslims are going to ask me why I'm not fasting, or will yell at me if I don't fast, or even insult me or threaten me if I eat in public. It's going to be annoying at best, and since these assholes just dont know how to mind their own business and think asking very personal questions is polite and good small talk, they'll maybe try to ask me about things like if I'm not fasting because I'm on my period or if I have health problems, and if so, what those problems could be, etc. It'll be a pain in the ass because during that time I'll either work and I'll have to eat during breaks or I'll be on holidays and I'll want to go out with friends and maybe go to restaurants. I don't know if anyone here will be in that situation too, if so then complain with me, I feel like I'm the only one in that situation sometimes.

At work there are a lot of moderate Muslims who will fast, so I'm sure they will be awful at work because of the heat, the fatigue and the fact that they won't eat and drink all day long, so it'll be even worse than the previous years too, now that I think about it. I hope nobody will pass out because of their stupid behavior.

No. 249324

>says Canada's health system is shit

Do you realize which country you are right next to?

No. 249348

Anon I'm on my mobile but I just wanted to say thanks for being so understanding earlier.

Today is a better day, I was in quite a state last night.
So far I haven't logged any calories, cause I'm genuinely not that hungry, and took some vitamins.
I legit asked myself if I was actually hungry instead of eating just cause I'm used to it.

I'm gonna try to break my stress eating habit. I've decided that instead of heading to the drive thru to binge on fast food when I get time off my shift, I'm going to go to the nearby park. To read, walk, whatever.
I'm there right now but I'm contemplating it because it's 90 degrees today with high humidity lol. Either way it's better than stuffing my face like usual I guess.

I love cooking and I make a lot of Korean food. I'm going to have leftover pork wraps for dinner but keep it at a reasonable portion. It's sliced, braised pork belly that you wrap in a lettuce/sesame leaf and dunk in a chili garlic sauce. It's super delicious. Myfitness app actually has my calorie budget waaaaay higher than I expected, and I think I can best it and then some. So far so good.

I'd like to post again in another month. Maybe in the fitness thread next time around!

No. 249378

File: 1526254210623.gif (195.28 KB, 275x174, 1522555132315.gif)

Oh god, the guy I desperately want to fuck asked me to linger at the store he works and I feel like I was super awkward with him even though he was really nice. It's just such a weird situation for a number of factors.

No. 249393

ask him out anonnnnn. how often do you run into guys irl who you're that attracted to and are nice? i'd pounce on it. or at least throw him an innocent enough compliment and see how he reacts.

No. 249406

is still shit. even mexico has better healthcare system than these "first world" countries.

No. 249419

File: 1526266124769.jpg (598.08 KB, 948x1426, void.jpg)


i feel you. I'm in my 5th and final year of my clinical psychology PhD and I feel like its destroyed my personality and brain.

I'm a chronic, really really bad procrastinator. Like only start a project/task at the last possible second, do a adrenaline-fueled panic work marathon, and turn things in literally one minute before they're due. OR if I don't make the deadline I lie my ass off and get away with turning it in late. It's embarrassing and I hate myself for it.

Soooo, now I'm finishing up my dissertation and doing the exact same thing. I left everything til the last minute and I don't know how to do/write about some of the stats shit that I need to. I'm totally fucked. I need to defend if in the next month if I'm going to graduate on time…lol…

No. 249443

I wish you all the best anon, hopefully we can loose weight together! You can do it!

No. 249445

File: 1526292457689.jpg (85.99 KB, 500x705, tumblr_ofq3osImKa1vo6tbho1_500…)

Dumb rant but I'm conflicted and sad

So a couple years back this girl in our friendship group made it clear she had issues with me and didn't like me, some of our friends always believed it was out of jealousy because she tried to turn people against me over it

Fast forward a few years and I've made some really good friends through college and she is also friends with them so we talk it over and she apologises and we "resolve" it

However, she is really strange about it. She'll be really lovely to me but also it feels like she always has to one-up me at everything. If I make a joke, she'll have to say it but louder until someone laughs and says she's so funny. If I start dressing or doing my makeup and hair a certain way she'll do the exact same. Her hair is dyed the color that mine is naturally as well now. Hell, even on social media she seems to feel the need to outdo me because as soon as I took a profile picture in a pose that got a lot of compliments she deleted her old one, took a new one in the same pose except with a bunch of Snapchat filters to try and be more extra and then said we matched but she said it in a sort of smug way and it was weird.

I also know how she treats people behind closed doors as she is ever so lovely to this one guy she lives with in public but then messages him bullying him in private (he has shown me these messages and her usual tone of uwu is completely abandoned)

I want to believe that this time round we are friends and I do like her despite this weird copying thing because I assume it's an insecurity and we've had some pretty deep talks about that, but it is still a bit worrying because of the past. She says she's different now but then if we talk and we aren't around other friends of ours I feel like she avoids me.

I don't know how to take her copying me either, it's flattering that she finds my style and aesthetic and even my personality and humor nice but it's also really not fun when she has to parade it about like it's hers and use it for attention and validation

I like her and I think she is much better than she gives herself credit for and I want us to be friends but it reminds me of high school when this girl I knew then would go to even further efforts to copy me and it turned out she was using me so my worries about this are a bit magnified

I don't want to hurt or upset her but I don't want to make effort if the truth is she genuinely dislikes me and is just being kind to me for the sake of being polite

Why is America like this?

No. 249447

You're not crazy at all anon. Not being emotionally receptive doesn't justify being deliberately cruel to someone who's trying their best to be nice.

No. 249448

Had an amazing (from my side) two year relationship with the most understanding kindest most interesting person I've ever met. But I was lying about my age and several other things the whole time because I was underage when we'd met and wanted to get to know him desperately at first and then didn't want to break what we had or hurt him. Broke up later after he dropped out and got depressed and I didn't know how to support him well. Confessed after, he was extremely hurt but still said we could be friends but is understandably cold and uninterested. I feel really guilty about what I did to him, everyone before had broken his trust and I went on to do the same after he'd opened up to me. I was also very cruel and dismissive at time and made him insecure by rejecting him sexually or ignoring him at times and talking to lots of other guys, just thinking about it makes me cry. Now he's extremely closed off, not interested in relationships, says he won't trust anyone or talk about his feelings for a long long time. I don't know how to atone for what I've done. Even if he never talks to me again, I just want to make it right. I can't stand the thought of having been so awful to someone so gentle and kind.

No. 249449

I would look at it through the lens of her having insecurities.
Clearly she's jealous of you, anon. Now that doesn't mean she hates you, but in her mind she's telling herself she can't measure up to you and I'm sure that harbors some conflicting, sour feelings even though that's not your fault. I say that because if she hated you she wouldn't want to imitate you and be like you–but that part is just my tinfoil.

Don't beat yourself up or preoccupy your mind with her as if there's any way to fix what's going on in other peoples' heads.
Keep a healthy distance from her, but be friendly and cordial as being nice doesn't require much effort. Maybe over time she'll learn to trust you and treat you as less of a rival.
And if she doesn't? That's fine too. It would be no skin off your bones because you'd walk away with knowing you treated her nicely even if she chose not to accept your friendship.

One thing I wouldn't do is confront her about it directly, she may see that as aggression and get defensive. It could ruin the process is all I'm saying.

No. 249450


I've been trying to look at it that way too, and maybe this is from my own idiocy or insecurities but what I don't understand is why she'd be jealous of me- she's taller than me and I'm short and people think I'm really cute but I don't feel that pretty and I am incredibly awkward at times. Sorry if that is self-centered to wonder!

In the past, she decided within a week that she wanted the friends I was making to not like me, to me that definitely meant she disliked me. She got really funny about one friend being my friend and would get jealous about that so she'd do all she could to make that friend stay away from me.

I couldn't confront her on it, I want her to be happy, but it is frustrating when she has to bring any attention to her as soon as anyone in the room is listening to me or talking to me.

No. 249453

Just leave him the fuck alone, thats the best you can do

No. 249454

>but what I don't understand is why she'd be jealous of me
Maybe that's your own insecurities talking lol. Who knows, maybe you have a style, quality, or look that's admirable in her eyes?
But don't worry anon, I ask myself the same questions about some of the girls who were jealous of me too.

Jealousy is a really strange thing and it makes people do some harsh things. Maybe she felt like she would lose friends to you, so she did those mean things out of desperation.

Either way I know where you're coming from and these situations are always really frustrating and tricky to handle. I empathize.

No. 249455


Thank you anon I appreciate your advice, I'll try my best to not think of it but she's around so much and it happens so much that it's hard to avoid. Like, just let me speak and let my friends appreciate me without having to butt in or try and steal the limelight it's annoying, I'm just talking to them or joking with them!

No. 249459

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. The thing is that he always blames himself for shit like that and I wouldn't want him to feel like he's done anything wrong. Would leaving without saying anything be ok?

No. 249460

File: 1526299370372.jpg (181.14 KB, 1680x1050, fry_suspicious.jpg)

Low key I'm sad that my boyfriend's family is…frankly, scummy.
I was the only child and I don't have an extended family, so whoever I dated I always wanted to get along with their parents/siblings just so I could feel more connected.

Bf's lived with me ever since we first met yet I've never once met his mother.
His father died of Parkinson's at a young age. The father came from a distinguished family and never married his mother it's not a secret that he stuck his dick in her crazy and the pregnancy was accidental but she kept bf as a money ticket as she would with his sisters that she birthed from different men. The father's side of the family was completely estranged from my bf as a result.

The first year I was with bf, I was supposed to meet his mother during a holiday at her house. I drove 3 hours out there with bf in tow only for her to refuse us coming over last minute because she decided her son had said something to hurt her feelings about money she owed him. She ruined my holiday and it forced me to drive 3 hours back the same day in snow.
She's never once reached out to me even though she knows who I am on facebook. She's intellectually stunted, so if her son makes her feel inferior by just using long words, I unintentionally would too. She's extremely jealous of her own son and is upset that he's made more of himself. She especially dislikes how I have given him a great life and that he has a great relationship with my parents. My parents are almost like surrogates to him, really.

His sisters are kinda shit too.
One is a morbidly obese single mother of two on welfare. She's jealous of us and has made no effort to develop a relationship with me whatsoever. She gets on my nerves because she calls bf whenever she wants to stick her toddler in front of the camera and beg for our money.
She's an emotional manipulator and a person who makes shit decisions. I don't respect her at all.

The other is younger and definitely the smartest of the two. Smart in that I believe she's the only one besides bf to have graduated high school, and she's trying to escape her situation of poverty.
Her answer to the latter is traveling around the country to hook up with men she met online to date/live with them.
I give her a break on that because the truth is she's just trying to escape her circumstances in the only way she knows how.
What irritates me about her is that she tries to use us too. Bf told me yesterday that she had asked him to pick her up at our local airport (not to visit us, we are but the taxi service) and drive her to the train station so she could be en route to the man she's seeing. By that she meant I needed to drive her, it's my car, and hahahaha no.

None of his family ever visits. The rest of his family ignores him no matter how much he reaches out because they're neurotic recluses. Bf's always the one having to travel to see the sisters, and he uses my job perk to get a plane ticket to do so. There's just no effort on their part whatsoever. They don't even send him cards for his birthday or holidays.

It amazes me that he came from such shit people tbh. Makes me sad too though, they're no boon to my life either.

No. 249465

I feel you. My boyfriends father is an abusive shit who constantly screams and yells, and kicks their dog and used to beat his children etc. His siblings (3 brothers) are also extremely aggressive and shit people. Somehow my bf ended up gentle and sweet.

No. 249470

If you're in Paris you can come chill with me, anon. I have food and live close to a nice kosher bakery and a Serbian restaurant.

No. 249539

Sounds comfy. Funny you say that, I might actually go to Paris in a few weeks for my holidays but I'm not sure yet because of the SNCF strike. Don't worry, I'll eat as much as I want or need to even if that means getting stupid comments. It's starting tomorrow though, fuck.

No. 249572


I feel for you Anon. I also live in France and I'm ethnically Turkish raised by two atheist parents. Luckily I look European and have a basic "international" surname so nobody assumes I'm Muslim, but having grown in a place with many North Africans, aka "la téci", I know how they can be in regards to enforcing their Muslim social norms. Wishing you good luck!

No. 249605

Everything I fucking write in one way or another relies on the premise that brain in a vat/evil demon theory is true. I know it's a retarded braindead argument that shouldn't even be taken into consideration but I still can't help but start every point I make with "Ok, assuming the evil demon is real, let's consider this…".

I hope Descartes is burning in literal hell under the hands of a literal evil demon.

No. 249665

I've been having night time insomnia where I sleep initially for an hour but spend the rest of the night into mid morning hours wide awake. I usually have to take a 2-3 hour nap before work but sometimes no.

Weed is the only thing that helps, I have none right now, and that sucks.

No. 249787

Thanks anon. Because of my name and my looks I definitely look North African (though some people think I'm métisse because of my family name, which is weird because I don't look like one) but even my sisters get rude comments from gossipy Muslims and they look like they're White girls and have common first name for French girls, just less often. Good luck to you too, just in case.
>but having grown in a place with many North Africans, aka "la téci", I know how they can be in regards to enforcing their Muslim social norms
I bet some of them are the kind of guys who actually don't do anything they're supposed to as Muslims, the kind of guys who smoke, drink, party, insult everyone, etc. but they don't eat pork and fast for ramadan so they think it's all good and they feel like they can call women who don't fast whores.

No. 249865

Sorry I'm going to vent like a crazy bitch and you probably all going to think I'm an horrible person.

I feel like my life is falling apart. Again. I've been holding my shit together for almost a straight year but I feel like killing myself again.
I'm way too old to be back at school at my age. I feel inadequate and worse, I'm still a useless piece of shit. I feel bad at my internship because I suck at basically everything. I feel like a burden and it's getting to me so hard.

There's also my ex I'm still having feeling for. He clearly only continues to talk to me out of pity but I'm afraid of cutting it off and feeling even more lonely afterwards. It's been going on for years. He has a living gf. There's absolutely no hope of getting back together and yet I'm still thinking about it daily.
I have no clue what to do. I can't even keep myself from talking to him. I'm too afraid of blocking him and look like a moody bitch when I'll come begging back for him to talk to me in a week.
We live in different countries, we don't have much in common left. I have no idea why I'm so fixated on it and how to let go.
I wish he were dead, at least there would be some kind of closure and I feel terrible about it.
I wish I was dead. I wish I wasn't a fucking coward unable to stand asphyxia even though I'm an utter waste of space.

No. 249869

A bit of a weird rant, but I'm so fucking scared about going to my gyno, since it always hurts like hell. The second time I went I even bled afterwards and felt like peeing constantly (I'm still a virgin, so it's quite clear why the blood…)
I would stop going, but I also always get very sick when on my period, so i need the pill.
Since I've never had sex before I always thought that I might have vaginismus or some shit, but a couple days ago my mother told me that her friend stopped going to the same doc after just one visit because it hurt her too much. That friend is in her 40s and she's had 2 kids, so if even she's in pain, it's quite natural that i'm too.

However, today i got a letter from my gyno saying i haven't had my yearly exam yet. What doctor sends you a letter because of that?! I wanted to try and find a new one, but now it seems like i have to got to her one more time, I honestly feel like crying…

No. 249870

Dude, just because you got a letter doesn't mean you HAVE to go. Can't you get the pill from your primary doctor instead? You don't need a fucking vaginal exam to get the pill. Plus, I'm assuming you're young, you don't need to be checked every time.
And yeah, if it hurts, try going elsewhere,you shouldn't be bleeding afterwards, that's for sure.

No. 249885

>I'm way too old to be back at school at my age.

False. You are never too old to get more education. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.

I feel you on the rest of the stuff though.. I know it may be tough but just try to stop initiating convo with the guy. It's fine to respond if he texts you, but just don't ever message him and it should eventually fizzle out.

No. 249889

Yeah nothing obligates you to go Anon. They probably send letters to make sure they get clients coming and signing checks but it doesn't matter. Assuming you don't have any serious issues you could just start going to another gyno with no issue. It's not normal that a gyno would hurt you so much and also do vagina exams if there's no reason to…
Also your family doctor can give you a prescription for the pill usually (I'm in Europe and it's the case) so look into that. I've been on the pill two years and never saw a gyno (couldn't find any that receives new clients in my area, thanks doctor shortage lol) but no issue at all.

No. 249957

i've been on antidepresssants for nearly 2 weeks and so far the only change i feel is that i feel dizzy and confused a lot and i am so fucking hungry all the time. i feel like i NEED to eat constantly, even when i know i've already eaten so much that i feel sick, because i feel like i'm starving even when i know i'm not. i know gaining weight is going to make me feel even worse but falling back into bulimic habits is going to make me feel worthless too.
i really hate my life and who i am and i'm sick of just dealing with all of it and being told it'll work out soon. i'm sick of people telling me i'm getting better when i feel worse every day. when my ex broke up with me months ago he kept going on about how it was the best thing for me, and he said the same recently. i wish he would just be honest and say it was just for him, because all it's done for me is show the first person who's ever liked me - not me putting on an act for other people - doesn't want me messing up his life anymore
i really don't think i've actually been happy since i was about 10, i've been constantly unhappy since then and every attempt to fix it doesn't work because I'M the problem. people never like me, i can't do anything well enough to be in education or get a job, things only go well when i spend all my time pretending to be someone else and that just makes me feel more useless inside. i really just hate being alive

No. 249972

I just went to the doctor and found out I have Chlamydia. Idk how to feel about this. I knew my boyfriend's sexual past (lots of randoms, no condom) before I made the decision to have sex with him, so I can't exactly be mad at him for not telling me. I know I got it from him because my ex was a virgin and there's been no one else in between. I'm kind of upset, but idk.

No. 249975

how do you know he knew? and why didn't you ask him to get tested?

No. 249989

You aren’t too old to learn anon. Going back to school, voluntarily, as an adult is admirable as hell.
Internships sound hard as fuck, but I bet you’ll get better at it as you go along. It’s not an easy balancing act and you’ve got a lot on your plate. Try and cut yourself some slack, if you can.
You’re putting in all this effort to become more productive, more employable, more educated..those are all really great things to work on. There’s folks out here working on the most effective scam for gofundme, to be the sickest and most delicate little snowflake who ever did flake, or how long they can use meth daily and still pretend to function.
You’re on a great path and deserve to feel proud of it.

No. 249991

The shitty thing about finding the right antidepressant is that it takes a loooong time. They usually take a couple of months to regulate everything smoothly, since things are so chaotic, chemically speaking in the depressed brain.

It’s a bitch of a ride and I can’t say anything that will truly make it easier other than the end of the ride is fucking great.
It’s a lot like a real rollercoaster, the whole time you’re riding it it’s anxiety-ridden ups and screaming downs but when you get off you just feel intensely good and alive.

Finding the medication that works is exactly like getting off the rollercoaster.

Antidepressants themselves are getting a lot better too. (I’d be long dead without Effexor) and there’s so much more likelihood of getting better when there’s more than just Prozac.

You’ve been stuck on this shitty rollercoaster for way too long, but now that you’re finding the right medication the end is in sight. There’s like one big loop and hill left and you can get off the damn thing and enjoy the theme park.

No. 249993

He didn't know he had it. L I didn't ask him to get tested because I didn't want to kill the vibe we had before we really got deep into the relationship and also, I suppose I want as concerned as I should've been. This is definitely partially my fault, which is why I'm so confused about how to feel.

No. 249994

*Wasn't as concerned

No. 249996

There's a very (or so it seems) popular artist on tumblr that does really beautiful drawings, but as soon as I discovered them I realized they are basically copying Gekidan Inu Curry's style and now (even though I still like the art) I feel extremely disappointed. Specially considering the fact that a lot of artists say this person is their inspiration, and they look up to them. I'm not sure if people doesn't realize that the artist is mainly copying/mimicking Inu Curry's art, or if they just don't care. Maybe i'm just jealous, but I really wish somebody called the artist out. At least to hear what they can say in response, I'm not even saying they have to change their artstyle or anything. Makes me sad because the drawings are actually very pretty and detailed. I have to admit tho, the artstyle is not exacly THE SAME, but if you know some of GIC's works, you will notice the (very) obvious influence.
I feel a bit bitter and maybe i'm reaching too much, but idk.

No. 249997

Oh shit, sorry for the typos/bad english.

No. 249999

> I really wish somebody called the artist out.

but yet you didn't name the artist in your post? name and shame, anon.

No. 250002

Not the other anon but I’m pretty sure they’re talking about Tourniiquet

No. 250009

File: 1526437239950.jpg (167.14 KB, 1456x1074, Nj3oPPn.jpg)

I'm just gonna go real scatterbrain here 2:50am and can't sleep.

I really hate myself at times, I hate how shy and indecisive I am, how I constantly overthink and worry about others more than my own self , I don't expect it back in return but I feel like there has to be something really wrong with me confidence wise. It's gotten way worse now since I've finished uni and gotten a job.

I've become a shutin near enough again, just work sleep and waste time on netflix or games, I really need to make some friends but its hard to do that back from sqaure one again, it's not even like I can just head out and just join a group or ask people at work.

I hate how fucking shy I am, there is something wrong it might be depression , I dont want to die just disappear like, blink and i'm gone.

there are times I want to die but in a ironic sense to blow off steam.

Christ I'm too old to have these issues its really fucking pathetic , there people younger doing so much more than me. Its not even like I'm starting at 0 its more like -10, its tough even just to force myself up to being normal and a functioning person.

like why do I hate myself, why, I don't get it, I hate seeing my reflection I hate getting my photo taken , I don't feel like I'm there being happy its just a face I'm making , I know I'm not happy , does anyone else know or am I just a burden to them , something awkward to not point out.

I wish at times I could just scream and shout out all this negative shit from myself, as If it would purge myself and I could be ok again.

was i ever happy when I was younger or just ignorant.

>I think I just want to be wanted you know.

I'm scared that all the time I've wasted being this miserable depressed mess could of been fixed years ago and to acknowledge that would mean, I may have been able to be happier longer ago.

I sometimes feel like I'm silently drowning and have to pretend to be ok.

No. 250010

Yes, I was talking about Tourniiquet. Tbh I'm kinda happy that another anon noticed.
I don't know that much about her apart from her drawings, so I didn't think I should mention her, just in case lol. But maybe it was a bit too obvious, haha.

No. 250016

File: 1526443967683.jpg (69.97 KB, 489x648, 1526282415568.jpg)

>tfw love walking as exercise but my feet blister like a motherfuck

I walked a little over 3 miles with a friend today and could have done more if I wasn't in so much literal foot pain.
I've tried better shoes, bandaging, powders, etc.
Apparently some people are more blister prone.
I wonder if those tight runner shoes with the invisible toes would work better?? Idk.

No. 250017

>*individual toes

No. 250018

SO when it comes to work, I'm the only one who has not had a negative experience with our COO once we hired her on last year. However, she has been an incredibly negative energy towards the people the work above me or work with me. And it absolutely kills the work environment.

She'll over-schedule meetings with the person that oversees all of us so that she can't get her work done. She'll criticize the fact that my manager "took so long to get her GED" that allows her to do a certain type of testing for us since she got it (She's in her 40s, made a shit mistake in her teens for a man, and passed everything aside from math the first time around last year and really needed to build her confidence from literally missing it by one point… despite being here for 7+ years and knowing more than all of us… But after working with me more, she passed with a score that was 40+ points of what she got before)

What makes me pissed is that when we got new office equipment, she had told my manager that it would "go away" if she didn't get her GED.
She's also gotten on to people in my department for mingling with other departments and asking if it was "general or work-related chats" in the hallway.

Like, my saving-grace with her is that I have never been called out and have always gotten anything related to her back on time or before. It mainly sucks because I think she respects me because I make damn sure anything that relates to her gets done sooner than needed…. but my managers feel the brunt of her force. Which sucks. Because it's someone that's insecure of themselves becuse she acts just like a more formally educated version of my mother–someone that's ready to leap in on the fact that it's going well and it's all because them (despite the fact they've brpught down the entire company' morale)

But god bless my mom for giving me the ability to give our COO the answers she wants to hear because I have never made myself the victim in this when I should've been.

(I mean, feel free to ignore this. I know I'm lucky in avoiding it. I think my saving grace is the fact I have out-smarted our COO in the past so she doesn't foccus on me as much)

No. 250029

I'm back on the zolpidem train. Can't sleep without it but have to retake some during the night or I'm up at 3am with leg pain. It's worse than when I wasn't taking it and now it's going to be hell to stop.
Why do I do this to myself?

No. 250030

Same here anon. I miss the fun we had together, the talks and the intimacy. It was so great to be intimate with him, which brings me to the real problem here:

I'm so fucking horny all the time ffs but I'm too scared to act on it and actually have sex because I think I'm an ugly fuck and I would only embarrass myself. Fml I can't stop thinking about sex, I judge every guy I encounter whether I'd bang him or not. I'm a pathetic idiot. Also, I would have sex with my ex in a heartbeat. Unfortunately he's gone no contact. I feel sad.

No. 250036

do you have a decent vibrator and a dildo? it's not like the eliminate the need for actual sex but they certainly take the edge off of sexual frustration kek

No. 250071

Your boyfriend is just holding it in, trust me.

No. 250076

I hate how now almost every girl, every woman online is called a thot. I'd like to think that it's just raging teenagers that like to spout retarded memes but I get the impression that it also includes retarded adult men. I see a girl or a woman that are not even scantily dressed and not doing anything provocative (though if they were not it still shouldn't be an excuse) and a bunch of idiots calling them thots. Of course, if you ask them why they are calling the woman in question a thot, they just say you're triggered. I mean wtf?
The internet has truly rotten the brain of so many younger generations.

No. 250083

what do you take thot to mean, anon?

No. 250084

I agree. Also, always hating on "western women nowadays" on totally unrelated video. They're strawmaning so hard, it's either about a (white) women being too liberal/not treating men right or if it's an asian girl, a documentary about Africa, no matter what, always "these girls at least still have values, true women, not like…!"
Lately i watched a documentary about child brides and guess what, men in the comment section arguing that these kids at least aren't gonna end up as sluts, single moms, etc.

No. 250124

thot is by definition a woman considered to be sexually provocative or promiscuous or am I mistaken?

At first, I only saw thot being commonly used in the context of instagram thots or instathots, but now it's being used to describe any woman or girl regardless if they fit the definition.

> Lately i watched a documentary about child brides and guess what, men in the comment section arguing that these kids at least aren't gonna end up as sluts, single moms, etc.

That's so disgusting and yes, these sort of vile comments appear on completely unrelated videos, news comments section, random topics. There's going to be a guy starting an argument about evil women, bonus points for "evil white women" and then a bunch of dudes agreeing with him.

It's sickening how much hatred we get for just existing. It's obviously an important issue for such guys that we have the rights and liberties to dress how we want and ultimately live how we want if they have this need to protest against this even on completely unrelated videos, articles etc.

No. 250136

>sexually provocative or promiscuous
well, i'm not going to claim to be the expert but yeah i think the provocative is more important than the promiscuous. like, it doesn't mean slut. insta hos are presenting their body for attention and money without necessarily being sluts. Like, when black people use it means a trash lower class woman presenting herself as classy and desirable and not pulling it off, or otherwise some kind of similar deceit. when online white guys use it it's less about lower class but still the disingenuous coy thing- it means a woman using her the effect of her body/femaleness to get something, attention or money or status. with these guys use i don't think there needs to be promiscuity or even provocativeness because they reckon women presenting themselves as women anywhere there are men watching will be doing this unconsciously. Like 'gotis' is thottery. It has a little bit of succubus implication, like the insta hoes are acting as temptresses without being available and also trying to pass their work off as something glamourous. the thot is presumptuous

No. 250139


No. 250154

You might find this article interesting
>But the thot label is wielded to indicate class status as much as it refers to sexual activity. Thots are criticized based on sexual behavior, yes, but they’re more broadly identified via their consumption habits; this makes it possible to denounce them on sight even when their sexual histories remain private.
>The fantastical nightmare of the thot is a woman who pretends to be the type of valuable female commodity who rightfully earns male commitment—until the man discovers that she’s just a cheap imitation of a “good girl” who is good only for mindless sex, not relationships or respect.
>“To the elite girls, the girls on Instagram were sluts not necessarily because they were sleeping around but because of what they looked like or how they acted,”


No. 250184

I don't know how to enjoy things. I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing. I don't know what I'm supposed to enjoy. I don't know how much of what I do for "fun" is because I like it and how much is just because I feel like I should like it. Out of work I sit at home and try to relax but end up wasting hours doing nothing. I never feel rested. I know my bf is worrying but I try to suck it up and not make it more of a deal than it needs to be, I don't want to drag him down.

I keep trying so hard to make new friends without being too clingy but maybe I'm just beyond help. I haven't made a real new friend in years. All my co-workers are friends and go for drinks after work or lunch before late shifts, but I'm never asked along or I'm not told it's happening. They all say they really like me, and it's a very informal workplace, but that's it. I never see anyone out of work.

Nobody invites me anywhere, I have one friend I can ask out for lunch and anyone else will always bail on me. I value her dearly but I wish I had other people too.

If it wasn't for my lolita comm I literally wouldn't leave the house for non-work stuff more than once a month. I'm so scared of being depressed again.

No. 250419

File: 1526570555652.png (214.95 KB, 500x677, angery-angry-reacts-only-17109…)

I started a new job 2 weeks ago, am now in week 3 and holy shit the head accountant is a massive cunt. She acts all nice around others but stabs them in the back the second she can. She's also in good terms with the two bosses so she thinks she's the shit.

She told me how I'm NOT allowed to know less than the current intern, except she's been working there 3 months before me. So how??

My job is also different than hers, (the accountants) I'm in customer support and shipping. She admits she's not really familiar with my job but the cunt still tries to correct me and tell me what to do.

Today she "supervised" me and the intern while working (it was my first time actually doing work instead of learning the theory and watching). She kept talking to us (but mostly me, since I was working) in such a patronizing way. I literally felt like I was taking a fucking test instead of doing my job and god she kept constantly breathing down my neck, asking questions and making comments how wrong x is and how it would be better to do it her way (we have our own work system). It took us like 20 minutes to complete the transaction/task all because of her. Once she left for a break the intern and I did the task in less than 3 fucking minutes.

She also kept telling me how I don't have to memorize it all by heart, I have the instructions right there! Except she didn't allow me to use or look at them, despite never doing working in that transaction before. She also wants to quiz me tomorrow, but hey, I don't have to know the stuff by heart, only every tiny bit of information about it!

I actually find the job fun and my coworkers are all awesome and super friendly, hell even the bosses are chill and don't take stuff too serious. Except this fat cunt. I'm glad I found out that no one likes her and that they usually avoid her.

I'm still pissed as fuck about the whole thing today and can't believe I have to memorize that crap by tomorrow and what not. Jfc

No. 250430

Are you me from the past? I had almost the exact situation and position.
I don't know what to tell you, I quit three months and never looked back. Apparently the girl before me quit within one month (wonder why) and I was pushed into the job with stacks of leftover work but also with very little training from my boss and it was the busiest period.

She would tell me things like "don't hesitate to ask me anything, it's better that you ask me even hundreds of times if it will make things clear to you" and then the moment I would ask her something second time to just clarify (because there was no fucking training) then she would start rolling her eyes and making drama "Please don't do this to me, I can't explain things the second time, I can't do everything". She was sure to tell everyone how incompetent I was and I felt like a retard. I honestly thought I was a retard and I was lucky to land my second job thinking I would probably perform poorly but nope, I realized the problem wasn't in me, it was the ex boss.

So, however you perform, don't blame yourself. Do your best but in the meantime start looking for another job. You will hate your life if you continue working there. A terrible boss that breathes down your neck will make your life a living hell no matter how nice your coworkers are, and considering that she's best pals with the higher ups you can't do or complain. I was there, trust me.
Also, she called my parents and wanted to let them know how bad I was at work.
Good luck anon, just do your best and don't let her backstabbing get to you.

No. 250483

the true reason for these problems is that nowadays many men are useless because they have been allowed to become this way. Video games let them be boys forever and there is no conscription where they are taught how to be men. Their parents don't teach them anything useful either as they both need to work to finance the middle class lifestyle. Then junior thanks them by beeing unemployed and wasting their money on his toys and cannabis.

In China they call it the strawberry generation.

No. 250488

There's this one girl I used to be friends with a while back who made a drastic style change shortly after becoming friends with me, telling me I was her "inspiration" and "goals" and such.

At this point she's a fully blown skin walker. I don't claim my style to be completely original but there are my own personal signature elements which she went so far as to even buy the EXACT same copies of. She now pretends it was something original she didn't copy or "take inspiration from" me and started calling it her own unique style, bragging about it almost every day. She's diving me up the wall, not to mention her massive ego about how pretty and special and adored she is. If she was popular at all online she would be complete lolcow material.

I want to call her out on this but we have so many mutual friends and I don't want any drama. Am I supposed to just let her skinwalk as me? I know our mutuals must be able to see the poor imitation she's doing of me but I can't stand it.

No. 250495

My boyfriend broke up with me a month ago
>friends since hs/ he had a crush on me back then
>ive had a crush on him for a year b4 confessing
>we date for 4 months, he starts saying i love you first
>i fall in love with him too
>b4 the break up we hung out in his room and i find out hes not really interested in sex, which was sorta anti-climatic the way we've been flirting
>im a virgin so i dont rlly care about sex, im just in love w him
>a day goes by where he texts me "just know I love you" and "You're apart of me"
>next day he says he wants to go back to being friends bc he cant give me the relationship i want bc of his depression, wants me to find someone better
>dont want to be friend zoned so stop talking to him
>miss him and wanna talk so set up a date yesterday where we dye my hair purp in his bathroom like we always talked about

So we caught up and he admitted he dosen't love himself so he cant really love anyone else. He told me he actually dosen't really feel anything right now but he did say he enjoyed video games for the first time in awhile yesterday, which is all he does outside work. I told him I still had a crush on him and how unique and special he is, and that im not interested at all in anyone else

He told me i should move to cali because theres cooler guys there
He wants to move too, but he also said its not likely hell be moving anytime soon

So basically im in love w my ex/friend who's going through depression and i dont know how to help so im just gonna be a good friend w a crush on him

unrequited love is better than no love

No. 250511

I don't know how to dress for my body and it makes me feel like shit everytime I go out.

I used to be an ana chan and thought by being thin clothes would look great on me no matter what.

The thing is that I felt miserable and I want to move past that and finally learn to dress well and not put looks over health.

I only see thin girls outfits when I look on pinterest for inspo but I know that normal weight girls can look really good as well, I just don't know how…

How do you do it ?

No. 250518

Id be super patronizing.
>it’s soooo cute you copy me, like a little sister
>aw I’m honored you want to copy my style, hows it going trying to develop your own?
>I’d be worried stealing someone’s style, the original people always wear it better, you know?
>god look at this celebrity copying this other celebrity’s style. Can you imagine? Pathetic
Or just call it out nicely
>omg we match, haha that’s embarrassing. >did you buy the same item as me? Why?

No. 250519

I feel like I need to be more productive during the summer before I start my internship and do the things I never had the time to do during the school year but I have no idea what to do…

No. 250520

This is only good advice if you want to sound like the ultimate obnoxious special snowflake

Could you list specific examples? I've come across way too many people accusing others of skin walking when there's nothing that original about their style. Also, even if it is, who cares? As long as she's not showing creeper/stalker tendencies, enjoying "your" style and wearing it herself shouldn't bother you unless you're one of those annoying types who cares waaay too much about being ~unique~.

No. 250521

>my own personal signature elements which she went so far as to even buy the EXACT same copies of.

No. 250528

I don't want to 'out' myself by listing specific examples but if you look at this >>>/snow/227024 thread, it's eerily similar to my situation. She copies almost exact outfits of mine, posts with the same kind of speech style sometimes and as >>250521 pointed out she went as far as to buy MULTIPLE items that aren't popular/common fashion pieces to copy me. It all comes together in one big combination of skin walking. I've shown the images to other people and had them agree about what she's doing, I don't think I'm a special snowflake but there are some items/combinations that are personal and outside of style norms that I wear which she has purchased replicas of or worn together in the EXACT same way.

I would never make a big deal of being unique but having someone copy you entirely then make a big deal about how ORIGINAL and SPECIAL they are is just uncomfortable and annoying.

I don't want to directly call her out on it because she's likely to make huge drama out of it and not drop it for years. I've seen it happen with her.

No. 250530

File: 1526601027649.jpeg (146.26 KB, 625x1108, 5268453E-C685-4FF6-82F4-A3B43F…)

Unless you’re a basic bitch with no style, it’s really obvious if someone starts copying you as soon as you become friends, especially if they wear the exact same items of clothing.

Flashbacks to when Kim used to copy Paris

No. 250544

Today got confirmation from my grad advisor that I can't graduate on-time with the rest of my grad school cohort this summer. I'm the one idiot who couldn't get her shit together in time to finish her thesis. Everyone else could. I'm a fucking moron.

No. 250566

dw anon my friend who is an idiot took 5 extra years to graduate because he was blowing his thesis off.

No. 250570

Uhhh… NTA but metallic LV bags were one of the biggest high fashion trends in the early 2000's. This kind of shit is why people often roll their eyes at copying accusations. People hop onto trends, delude themselves into thinking their style is unique, then complain when others also hop on that trend.

No. 250574

File: 1526613914140.jpeg (65.99 KB, 500x500, E32709A2-45C4-49A9-A3E5-168816…)

Except Kim was explicitly copying Paris. It wasn’t just because it was a “trend” at the time. It’s because Paris wanted Kim to look like an accessory. There are countless examples, that was just one. In others she wore an identical dress but in a different color, or wore the same color are Paris’ accessories. If you think its just a coincidence or the two of them following trends (even though Paris was a trendsetter back then) then you just don’t know what you’re talking about.

No. 250583

I had a really difficult day today. I was feeling down on myself for the majority of the day; it came in waves in the morning, then when I was at work it hit me like a ton of bricks. Feelings of worthlessness, yadda yadda, the usual. I managed to work through some of it and go drinking at a friend's, but just now another friend just ripped me a new one for literally nothing? I was only being sympathetic towards them and they blew up on me. It hurt a lot, but there's no point telling them because they'll just shrug it off and tell me not to be so sensitive. I'm sick of feeling and of being around other people. I just want to be alone for a long time.

No. 250589

>It’s because Paris wanted Kim to look like an accessory
… Then how is this a valid exampe of Kim copying? It's Paris being weird.

No. 250590

I honestly feel like a lot of girls who call skin walker want that to be the case out of some weird sense of validation or fetish

No. 250609

File: 1526622478755.jpeg (1.5 MB, 2956x3000, 794FE099-222D-4301-A525-7891D4…)

I just mentioned flashbacks to when she copied her, I didn’t shit on her for it. It’s clearly cause Paris wanted her to. Kim was her “assistant” after all. The point is it’s really easy to tell when someone is copying someone else; with their permission/influence or not. Unless they’re a basic bitch.

No. 250621

File: 1526624335342.jpeg (253.79 KB, 1242x1446, B3223972-16FA-49AC-8A0A-43AB5E…)

I wasn’t feeling like myself today, especially when I was called in to cover a morning shift and the cakes I was in charged of, ended up getting banged in the car before they arrived to my job. I get yelled at by my boss, I go home feeling like shit. I wanted to play some games alone but someone invited me to join them instead, I couldn’t say no since i really did want to join him but because I was worried that my bad mood might catch on, I just remained silent. He gets worried, I try passing it off as nothing and find an excuse to leave. Kinda felt bad and told him that I lied and that I just wanted him to enjoy himself without me around. We exchanged messages but they just held the essence of stress in them. My replies ended up being rude and I apologize. I have such a bad habit of apologizing too and I guess I over apologized which got on to his final nerve.
Telling me that it just makes my apologies seem more insincere, i begin to feel even more bad and end up apologizing again until he just flat out says that we shouldn’t talk anymore. I didn’t want to ruin his night anymore and so I said that I agree with him. Deleted our conversation and app

Why do I always ruin good relationships?
I genuinely wish that I wasn’t like this and that I could magically stop saying sorry. I was hoping I wouldn’t fuck this up but lo behold, I did.

No. 250629

geez anon, I really feel you. The thought of ruining relationships is pretty much 99% of my social life so far, and losing a friend over something stupid and deleting everything feels like Hell.
I wish I could tell you that it's going to be okay and that he'll come back, but that's happened to me before too and they never do. People who hurt you for being sorry or being so unhappy that you want to leave so they'll be happier without you (aka textbook definition of depression) are so vile to be around sometimes. I'm sure they were very important to you, but speaking from experience those people can't even see what you're going through, much less be kind enough to give you space or help you when you need it (which sounds like right now).
What I can say, though, is that just because relationships fall apart, that doesn't mean it's your fault, nor that you should feel bad because of it. You need to take what you got from that relationship, be it a few moments of happiness or some life lessons or social lessons, and be grateful that you had something like that in the first place. I have as close to 0 friends as possible, but I can still look back at the times I had with the people I cared about and say that I have something. And, if you didn't have any of that, getting rid of them was your best option, imo. It's not like you yelled at them or cursed them out; they left you because of something stupid like being sorry. If so, fuck em. They're making you feel like shit over nothing. If not, be happy for what you had and use it later.
Also anon, don't be so hard on yourself. You and only you can be the person who cares about yourself. If you don't put in that effort to be happy, to accept who you are and brush off people being dicks or little mistakes that you make, then you can't expect others to do it for you. It's a hard lesson to learn, and I haven't quite convinced myself, but it's the truth. And it doesn't make you any less of a person just because you feel sorry for yourself, always remember that. Sorry this happened to you, anon.

No. 250630

You know how they say every bad decision will haunt you?
I thought this was dead and over with aside from the awful trauma it gave me, but about a little over a year ago, I was in a dark place and fallen into sex working, I only put up a couple ads on Backpage, and never touched it again after I got into rehab and shit.
I just got a text message today asking if I'm still working, and that they got my number from an escort site.

I'm.. honestly scared. I did a reverse search on my number and found nothing so I'm sure it's gotta be one of those more hidden sites that nabbed it but… I just feel so sick.

On top of it all, my PTSD is in full force lately. I was sexually assaulted by one of my utmost closest friends and am still dealing with /how/ to deal with that and I just feel so lost in my own horrible decisions.

No. 250637

hey, anon, getting sexually assaulted is not your fault, or because of a mistake on your behalf.

You went into REHAB. You're no longer in sex work! Those are two amazing decisions. You're getting over sexual assault and a breach of trust. Give yourself a break. You're chugging forwards. Be proud of yourself. This reminder of the past shouldn't scare you, it should make you realize how far you've come. You're not in that shit anymore! That's a huge achievement.

Fuck the person who sexually assaulted you. You didn't deserve that and you didn't cause it with "horrible decisions." You sound like you've come a long fucking way. Congratulations, anon. You're doing it. This is just a minor set back. Breathe, cry, focus on yourself, and regroup. Don't let this small reminder set you back. You've come too far for that. Be kind to yourself.

No. 250644

Geez anon, I really want to give you a big hug right now.

Yes, this person really did mean a lot to me.
But I really appreciate what you said. I don’t know who you are but you are a very wise and kind hearted person. Thank you and I’ll definitely remember that.

Also please don’t be sorry, in a sense, I did bring this upon myself sadly
But again, thank you

No. 250682

Mens feelings is currently a discussion in my country, and not the "men should learn to open up about their feelings" kind. Its the "has metoo gone to far? Does women in education and work emasculate men? Incels should be pitied and cared for" kind. Huge, national newspapers are talking about how women should bend over backwards and coddle men so their poor feefees aren't hurt. And I live in a very liberal country, so it is even crazier.

No. 250699

Men can start their own rights movement for all I care.
I just don't want people expecting me, a woman, to have to pick up after them emotionally. Shit, how ironic for women to be just as belligerent and unsupportive about that as many men have been against feminists. And men aren't even the oppressed minority.
Poor men!
What country though anon? I'm curious.

Unrelated vent: I'm sick of this fucking weather in May. It's been downpouring and overcast for the past three days and I'm trying to exercise outside more before work yet I can't. I have a stationary bike but tbh it's really fucking boring even with music or something on tv, and I feel like it's not as efficient. Outside is actually interesting and the scenery changes, not to mention I get some Vit D from the sun. Otherwise I'm cramped in buildings all day and night.

I'm really fucking frustrated with it. I don't know how else to make exercise fun if it's indoors.

No. 250700

I binged half a a pizza yesterday and woke up with a fucking throat ache, gotta love the acid reflux.
Why am I so dumb, I know I should stop that but I have no idea how to deal with anxiety besides eating and throwing tantrums.

No. 250701

File: 1526655710005.jpg (29.02 KB, 481x524, Chj9xqfW0AASQ5m.jpg)

Thanks anon, it seems you're right.
Looks like the cunt has ridiculous high standards or just wants to get rid of me.

We also had two girls working before me. One was an intern, worked for a full year there and after the internship they offered her to stay. She did, but after a month they fired her because she "didn't meet the standards". ??? They didn't have to offer her the job or anything and yet they pulled that shit.

Today she pulled me out of the office today and went with me to another co worker so she could supervise me while working. It felt like I had a pissed off dog that was about to bite me standing next to me.
I only worked with that coworker twice, and only once did we do that transaction because it was the only opportunity to show me, she can't pull the documents out of her ass. Cunt didn't like the way I worked in the transaction, and got irritated that I forgot the name of it (as if I couldn't look it up in the papers if I was seriously working) after the whole thing she said she'll talk to me later with the boss.

And that she did. She told him how "concerned" she is with my progress and I was basically told to pull my shit together next week or I'm fired. Like what the fuck? I'm NOT making mistakes, I'm just a bit slow because it's only been 3 weeks and it's all new to me.
My actual learning/trial period is 6 months, as it is stated in the contract, and they want to kick me out already. I'd understand if I was constantly fucking up the invoices/orders etc, but I'm not and I'm only on day two of actual work. So ????

I don't really care if I get fired, there are other jobs around but it sucks so much because I like working there but this one cunt keeps fucking me over and it hasn't been a full month yet.

No. 250707

I'm so fucking sick of looking younger than I really am. I'm 20 years old and 5"2 (which is tiny compared to everyone else in my country, I live in the Netherlands). I'm also really into colourful fashion which doesn't really help me. Sometimes I wear more mature clothes but still people look at me like I'm 16 years old and I never get taken seriously. I used to really like my height but I wish I was a few inches taller now.. It's a dilemma, really.

No. 250748

godamint those guys are fucking retarded. Get everything served on a silver plate and can't do any more than just cry and moan like little girls. If he has problems, he should visit a doctor and get his mind fixed. I really wish you best of luck and that he gets his shit together and you become a couple again. I really respect you for not abandonning him and I think you have a great personality if you chose to help him. I hope he understands this too and repays you one day. Good luck anon and stay strong

enjoy it, the older you get, the more you will wish you were young again.

No. 250772

I was just having a nice time joking around with my group chat, and then some random dude sperged to hell and back when someone told him that I'm female because
>uwu i respect women and i only joke like that with guys i was so offensive uwu im sorry
Like just… What the fuck. He dm'd me grovelling and I kept telling him that it wasn't a big deal, but it wouldn't get through his thick skull. I fucking hate being treat like I'm a different fucking species, whether that behavior is benevolent or hostile.

No. 250783

I’m sick of royal family and wedding shit. They aren’t important people, they don’t do anything interesting and its retarded to care about any aspect of their lives.

They’re just rich people. It’s bad enough people still bow to them and shit, why bother? The queen was dope in the war but she’s not magic or special.

No. 250805

Thank you so, so much for this. It sounds over emotional but I started tearing up in a good way. I’m going to try my hardest to stay afloat and not let these awful waves pull me under.

No. 250813

anon thank you, im trying to become stronger too so even if he never comes around Ill be in much a better place

as much as i wanna be his rock and support him i need more support in my life too

No. 250827

I fucking hate it when people say "it must be nice" in that shady way because you have a little bit of disposable income. Especially when their financial situation is actually within their control, but they'd rather be a bitter piece of shit than embrace the amazing opportunities presented to them.

No. 250842

Yeah, I had a friend like this I dropped. Always commenting on my purchases and stuff, hinting at how much I had (I was just budgeting to buy the stuff so it was extra annoying).
Ad people like this are always the worst with their money.

No. 250866

As someone who works in the medical field, the pressure they put on people for certain exams IS a way to make money. You don't need a pap often, especially if you are under 30, and even then it's only really necessary every 4 years or so. If you are on medications then it is important to do check ins and labs, but jfc if I had a nickel for every time I got pressured into doing something that really wasn't medically necessary, I wouldn't have to work. At my check ups, they still to this day pressure me about certain types of BC and when I was ~19 they manipulated me into getting the HPV vaccine when I was not comfortable with it.

Even labs will harass doctors to pester their patients do xyz labs again, when it's up to the doctor's discretion. Be careful with specialists, like GYNs, because they can take advantage of women who don't feel comfortable/are scared and just say yes because they don't know better.

Also, if you are in that much pain, find a new GYN and tell them about your experience. You should not be hurting that much or experiencing those kinds of symptoms after a check up.

No. 250867

Also to add, your primary care provider can prescribe BC. They only need you to get checked up on every few years if you are young. It is normal for places like that to send you letters about coming in, but you CAN say no. Honestly, I would tell your GP about your experience, ask for a referral for another place, and they should also be able to fill your BC while you transfer to another place.

No. 250893

My best friend might not be coming to my grandmother's funeral because her mom's birthday is the same day.

I'm trying to be chill, but she was my friend closest to her, helped with taking care of her, and was there with me the last time I saw her. It's not like she's one of the friends just coming to support me, she actually played a large role in my grandma's life. I don't see why she can't come and celebrate her mom's birthday during the evening.

No. 250898

I mean I can see why someone would rather celebrate a birthday than attend a funeral.
It's sad anon but some people really can't stand funerals. I'm one of them, no matter how close to the deceased they make me uncomfortable and never feel like they help me grieve.

Although maybe she should reach out to you in some other way since it sounds like you need some emotional support.

No. 251011

I know I already complained about that but I'm already sick of ramadan. I've had coworkers asking me if I fast or not, which is already personal enough. But then I had some of these coworkers say that's too bad I don't fast while complaining the entire day about how they're tired, hungry, thirsty, pissed off because they're hungry, etc. So, is fasting a good or a bad thing then? Make up your mind you fucking idiots.

I already expected it but it's more annoying now than when I started my job, which was in the middle of ramadan last year.

No. 251016

File: 1526769350983.jpg (270.57 KB, 1280x960, possum.jpg)

I miss when the mods did cute things… Like april fools day pranks and just interacting with us more in general. Part of me feels like the site has changed for the better (rules and rule enforcement, order, user base is a bit less cringe, etc.), but sometimes I still miss the way it used to be.

pic semi-related

No. 251095

File: 1526784765188.jpeg (7.95 KB, 168x299, images.jpeg)

I spent the last hour being giddy over what I thought was a good idea, only to realize I had completely misred the scenario.

I looked into one of those betting websites for losing weight.
Initially I thought it was like creating a kickstarter where friends and family donate money to my goal, and I only get the money if I fulfill that goal or lose it all if I don't make it.

Turns out that's not how it works. I could only create host games where other fatties join in the bet and depending who wins, splits that pool of betted money.

I'm really disappointed, I didn't catch that until my second read through because the person's page that I saw the website listed on didn't mention it was a competitive payout against others.

And based on reviews, the profit payout for most games is mediocre at best.
Lol, I thought I was being so clever!
My goal would have been 15% of my weight by fall, which is when I'm going to Japan. I was going to use that money to put into my savings.

I don't know whether to laugh at my naive retardation, or cry…

No. 251098

>creating a kickstarter where friends and family donate money to my goal, and I only get the money if I fulfill that goal or lose it all if I don't make it.
there definitely is things like this out there, have a look around. Look more generally than weight loss, just goals - but having said that if you can't find one,
>creating a kickstarter
is this against their terms or can't you just go straight ahead and make your page?

No. 251101

I'll keep looking but I'm running into websites with the same pool betting setups.

Personally I've never made a kickstarter before, suppose I could look into their TOS to see if that sort of thing is allowed.
It's just that the weight loss sites add…something like credibility? For instance, the website I was looking into had internal auditing where you submit a picture of yourself and one on your scale of the weigh in/out. Someone from the website reviews the submissions to make sure you're not bullshitting or cheating. Also none of that would be published for everyone to see.
I liked that because my number is pretty high, and I'm embarrassed for people to know it.

One could say I could just show a graph or something without numbers on the kickstarter, but again, I don't think that website would force me to weigh out. People could probably see that as a problem and donate less for the fact. Shit, if I didnt see someone's numbers I'd probably be skeptical too.
I just don't want it to come off as straight begging.

No. 251103

Not trying to be an asshole but why would anybody pay you anything just for losing weight? Strangers or family/friends?

No. 251109

Family and friends like I said, it wasn't going to be open for strangers because this is personal and I was just gonna share it on my fb. I'm sure strangers don't care about my weight loss, and would begrudge me money towards an international trip as a reward.

I mean I know you weren't trying to be offensive, but you're asking me who do I think I am for asking money for weight loss.
Meanwhile I see youtubers get donations for creating content like unboxing videos, makeup tutorials, cosplay supplies, and pretty much stuff they've been doing on their own dime up until they mustered the gall to ask for money.
And hell, some people give them money just because they ask.

Why not me too, you know? Shit, at least it's for betterment. People always threaten fatties about how we'll wind up costing taxpayers one way or the other, seems like I'm thrice a financial burden on society as a whole if I stay this way or worsen. I'm not even asking the public, just people who claim to care about me.

No. 251111

Where I live there are grants for losing weight. Not sure how you go about qualifying but look into that, you look some pounds and you can make some money maybe??

No. 251115

Youtubers at least provide entertainment.
Other people wanting money for doing nothing isn’t really a good justification or defense for asking money from people for doing even less. You eating fewer calories is even less entertaining than a product review.

What actual reason is there for anyone to pay you for losing weight? Other than ‘other people get money too’ and ‘it’s only my family and friends’

I’d tell my best friend or my mother to get fucked if they asked for fifty bucks because they lost 20 pounds they needed to lose anyway.

Youtubers offer a service, even if it’s one you don’t like. What gain does anyone get out of giving you their hard earned cash?

No. 251122

You really need to get over your entitlement.

No. 251124

File: 1526792422603.jpg (43.56 KB, 500x490, tumblr_inline_p8whrs08tR1uevdh…)

>bloated and with diarrhea for a week
>every meal is pain
>can't focus on work at all but don't want to call in sick and lose time at the doctors
>after a 9 days, finally have a good day where im not nauseous and dead

>immediately the day after

>bloated again, diarrhea
>period started early and now i'm back with the bad shits, bloating and nausea aaand now cramping pain
>mfw one more week of this

No. 251126

If she’s like, super obese she could make a few bucks doing a YouTube series about the “weight loss journey” bs but tbh it won’t get much attention unless she’s shockingly fat or really charismatic. (I’m guessing charisma is a no since she thinks her pals should pay her to eat a bit less)
How fat are you talking? Just regular American sized or over 300 pounds?

No. 251127

I'm not demanding anyone give me money though. Don't friends and family usually give money to causes for their loved ones, health conditions or drug addictions?
I don't get you, it's not entitlement for sure if I'm not acting like I'm owed money. I'm just asking.
Not 300 pounds obese, but probably half a person away from that.
Again, don't want to. This is personal and I don't think I'm ready to attach my identity to it.

Look at the reactions I got from you two. I don't want to deal with that hostility from people.

No. 251131

Youtubers aren’t demanding money either. You’ve not provided a single reason as to why anybody shouldn’t would give you money to eat less, and you’re clearly very sensitive to any criticism of this idea so I think you know it’s a pretty foolish and selfish one.

Nobody is going to want to give you their money to not be excessively fat, and it’s honestly bizarre to think that anybody would think it’s a good idea to even ask.

All you’ve done is say you don’t think youtubers should be paid and that you’re not forcing people to give you things. Do you really think that’s a good reason to do something?

More people would post your fundraiser to places like fatlogic and choosing beggars on reddit than donate to you for doing literally nothing.

No. 251132


But maybe it's not about "entertainment" and more like people wanting to support those who are trying to make better choices.
Not everything has to entertain you to be valid.

Imo if incentivizing people to lose weight works then it should be done. I had no idea until the anon mentioned upthread that some countries give grants to people who want to lose.
Maybe you should let those governments know how they're just giving out entitlements and what a terrible idea that is, since you have the answers apparently.

No. 251134

I honestly can’t comprehend having the gall to look my friends in the eye and say ‘hey, would you give me money if I don’t eat twice as much as I need everyday?’

Paying to send a relative to rehab is lifesaving medical treatment, you think wanting to lose weight is the same thing?

Asking people for things you have done absolutely nothing for is extremely entitled, and the fact that you can’t see that is disturbing. You need help not other people’s cash.

No. 251135

>Youtubers aren’t demanding money either.

The fuck they're not lmao.


I'd say that's a bit different than anon's one time bet with a goal in mind. Take off the rose colored glasses and stop acting like youtubers are different.

Oh and by the way–calm down nonnie. Take your Patreon hateboner back to the Jill thread.

No. 251136

The entertainment point is that they offer a good or service in exchange for money. Gofatme anon is offering nothing in exchange for money, and if the incentive of not suffering from obesity isn’t enough, money is a waste.

No. 251137

>losing weight isn't the same as lifesaving treatment

Well, it kind of is. That's what things like bariatric surgeries are for. So morbidly obese people don't die within the next few years. You seem awful assblasted for me just spitballing an idea.

Personally I'm glad I'm not related to you, you sound nasty.

No. 251138

We get it. You hate fat anon. Next.

No. 251139

Kind of like saying ‘I want to go to japannnnnn reeeeeeee! This is my holidaaaayyyy.

Especially when most people contributing are contributing to a dead cause. If anon was serious about losing weight they’d have started already. You wanna pay someone twenty bucks to say they want to lose 70pounds?

No. 251140

She’s not bariatric. She’s just selfish

No. 251142

>anon hasn't started losing weight

Don't act like that.
Why would I be looking at betting websites if I haven't already known I've been losing?
I don't get money if I don't drop.

For your info, I've been losing steadily. I just wanted to incentivize myself to stay on track. I know, horrible offense. I might as well rob a sweet old granny with a twinkie shaped like a gun.

No. 251143

I'd qualify for it if I could afford it. Actually.

No. 251144

None of this is reason to think anybody wants to give you free money for doing what you should have been doing already in order to not die fifteen years early.

No. 251145

You see harm in asking, which is why it's bizarre.
I gave other people donations to their gofundmes, I didn't have a chip on my shoulder about it like you seem to.

No. 251146

And you’re prioritising a holiday to japan over potentially life saving surgery, but anyone who thinks you shouldn’t ask your family and friends to pay is an evul fat shamer wahhh

The entitlement is astounding.

Should you also get free umbrellas from all the shops if you choose to go out without on in the rain?

No. 251147

Yeah the audacity really does amaze me. The audacity of anyone starting one for anything other than genuinely life saving medical shit is off the charts.
Why should anybody get free money for a holiday or for doing literally nothing? They aren’t kids and nobody needs a holiday, a photo shoot, a second car or the other shit people proudly beg money for.

You think it’s ridiculous that entertainers ask for payment but furiously defend asking for money for doing literally nothing but eating less. The fact that you’re not ashamed of that blows my fucking mind

No. 251149

Because my travel to Japan is a prize I won through my job and I need to use it by December.
Oh and, a bariatric surgery is oh, say more than a few thousand dollars when all I need for Japan is a fraction of that cost.
So no, I'm not going to miss a one time opportunity because you want me to have surgery first to prove something exactly.

I get your point, but I disagree with you. You can stop.

No. 251151

Yeah you’re really gonna love japan if you’re this upset over getting called out over a terrible idea and obesity. Japan is super welcoming of allllllll that noise.

Maybe when your friends and family laugh in your face you’ll realise how bad of an idea it actually is and stop acting like a victim because you got told it’s shitty to beg. Absolutely ridiculous.

No. 251153


My family would never act like hateful cunts to me as the way you're being. You're the only one who sounds like you have a bug in your ass. I'm done with you.

Oh and stop derailing. I'm sure nobody else cares about what you think is and isn't entitled.

No. 251154

File: 1526796436587.jpeg (67.12 KB, 992x749, 91E6B73A-7968-4EDC-AF81-BB2E29…)

No. 251156

nta, but you sound like a real cow (literally kek). maybe you should consider making a youtube series about your ~weight loss journey~ so we can make fun of you here.

No. 251157

>I’d tell my best friend or my mother to get fucked if they asked for fifty bucks because they lost 20 pounds they needed to lose anyway

I'd give my mom $50 if she quit smoking. You sound really mean, no wonder your friends and family wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire.

No. 251161

Seriously. I’d pay my dad $50 for every cigar he refrained from smoking. Not that he’d take it

No. 251162

Lmao nice. 10/10 insult gofatme-anon.

Who do you think I got those values from if not my family? Thought you were done with the big bully fat shamers?

No. 251163

The slaton sisters and amberlynn should give you a good idea.

No. 251165

They didn't do a very good job with you.
>everyone who disagrees with me is fat

Uh oh, I've seen this somewhere else not too long ago. 13 BMI chan, that you?

No. 251168

Dat reach.

The anon mentioned is the one who has said they are a candidate for bariatrics. One person isn’t everyone or screeching that people looked cute in holodomor pictures.

No. 251170

What is this word salad?

No. 251172

The anon called fat is the one who has already stated that they are large enough to be a bariatric patient.

That’s different to calling others fat, and different to spending three days saying that people who look like they existed during famine are the cutest, the way bmi13-anon did.

It’s a commendable length to reach. Well done.

No. 251173

Just because you can't understand something doesn't mean that it's word salad, fatty-chan.

No. 251174

Nah i did word it badly.

No. 251176

BMIchan is a ban evader and known to be relentlessly hostile. It's not a reach at all, though you seem to want to convince me otherwise.

It really didn't make sense. You need sleep, you're tired from acting like different anons.

No. 251177

I wasn't acting like a different anon and I'm not that ana freak, the only posts I've made to you are >>251173 and >>251156

No. 251178

Okay then gofatme. Let us know how many people rush to donate money to your worthy, worthy cause.

No. 251179

Openly hostile like calling people cunts for not supporting the idea of begging loved ones for a few grand to spend on a holiday?
There can only be one person who disagrees with their master genius plan.

No. 251181

File: 1526798436820.jpg (44.86 KB, 600x677, tumblr_mjkfjrIFyZ1s8r2c1o1_400…)

I hate my life, hate myself and see no prospect for things ever improving. I hate being poor and would have just gone into sex work if I had the looks for it. I keep applying for better jobs and keep getting rejected. I can't keep or make friends and the few I have are in such shitty positions themselves we can't hang out. My family doesn't like me. I've never had a good relationship and don't think it would be worthwhile to bother. I've got a suicide countdown of sorts, at which point I reexamine whether its worth doing or if I still somehow have delusions of things getting better. People with suicide countdowns should not get into relationships.

I'm about as irritated as I am sad. Fuck this. There.

No. 251182

You don't get to play the victim card after aggressively hounding someone for a difference in opinion until they show you a bit of aggression back.

No. 251185

>Point out gaping flaw in your argument,
>playing the victim

No wonder you think shameless begging is an excellent idea.

No. 251186

I'm watching a documentary series about women killers and it made me want the manhate thread back so bad.

Every last one of them is portrayed in a particularly negative way. The focus is always on the victims and how sad it was that they died, the viewer is encouraged to be outraged by their deaths at all times and nothing else. These women's motives are glossed over or have their importance completely disregarded, they're exposed solely for context. They're never given as a reason for the crime, just as an excuse for a psychopathic woman to kill someone with no remorse. Every single woman is portrayed as a calculating psychopath.

And actually, all of that is absolutely fine. That's absolutely the proper way to go about a crime documentary: making it clear at every turn that these people are in the wrong, that the consequences are devastating, that no amount of subjective suffering justifies murder.

That's never how documentaries about male murderers go. These are women who had regular lives, who were involved with one single instance of murder. Documentaries about male serial killers who did much worse things and openly enjoyed inflicting pain always find a way to make the viewer sympathize with the son of a bitch, or glamorize the whole thing. Or they treat the sob as a complex human being with complex emotions and thoughts, with real motives and desires, with things they believed in that drove them to murder, they're never shown in this pathetic one-dimensional characterization.
This is bullshit. Even murderers get treated as human beings as long as they're male.

No. 251187

The gaping flaw is that you got called a name after spending more than ten posts doing the exact same thing and being as shrewd?
I guess you win cause you say so.

No. 251188

Ted bundy has fan girls, women who snap and kill abusive spouses are portrayed like spiders.

No. 251189

The gaping flaw in trying to drag the Ana chan drama into me despite not being the only one who’s a bitch and by saying an obese person is fat.

Give it up and just go panhandle your holiday money already.

No. 251191

You were being pretty bitchy and that's why you were called that. Stop.

No. 251192

Jesus anon, I don't agree with asking people money for a holiday, but anon's idea sounded valid in her opinion so I'll respect. You can just disagree but you seem to have a huge hateboner for fat people and even seem jealous she gets to go to Japan. Calm down and eat a sandwich.

No. 251195

Yup, it's ridiculous. One of them killed her husband and said multiple times that it was in self-defense and he had a dark side to him, that he was obsessive, that he thought if he couldn't be with her nobody else could.

Not a single person even entertained the thought that maybe she was telling the truth. They just said over and over that the guy was so nice, such a gentleman, that he loved her so much, he cherished her yadda yadda. I'm pretty sure that if she were telling the truth about her husband's behavior, this man would still defend him and say he acted that way because he loved her and she should have appreciated it instead of rejecting him. Fuck men.

No. 251198

How can you miss the point that hard? I’m saying it’s retarded to accuse me of being the anorexic psycho, I don’t care who calls me a cunt.

No. 251199

Because you're fixated on a non-issue and being a bitch about it, just like psycho skelly. It's over, chill out.

No. 251205

I'm not any of those anons you were talking to before, but come on. At first I thought I misread, why would anybody who you know personally gift you money? That's so embarrassing and you'd risk damaging your friendship.
>And hell, some people give them money just because they ask.
>Why not me too, you know? Shit, at least it's for betterment.
Giving money because you asked them = begging. Have some dignity.
>I'm not even asking the public, just people who claim to care about me.
That sounds an awful lot like "If you really care about me, you better pay!"…

I'm not a very thin person myself, so I know that it's hard, but we are the ones who got ourselves fat, so we're also the ones who have to do something against it.
People who always managed to maintain their weight im the first place are the ones who should get rewards.

No. 251206

i usually see that it goes the opposite, in a still sexist way tho, asking why these loving feminine creatures could turn so evil and crap.

No. 251252

>People who always managed to maintain their weight im the first place are the ones who should get rewards.

But why tho.
Lol but seriously, thanks for at least not being a shit to me about it like the other psycho.

No. 251383

Not that anon, but
>Those other anons (which was totally just one triggered anachan!!1) are psychos for thinking that begging for money for doing virtually nothing is shitty >:T
You sound like such an unbelievably shitty person. I hope you don't lose any weight, you slovenly, disgusting pig.

No. 251394

It is sad to read what you wrote. Unfortunately there is no magic cure for situations like these and your only way to deal with this is to set clear goals for yourself and actively work towards achieving them. You either suceed in achieving them or you die trying. The most important thing is to always think positive about your future and lie to yourself that everything will work out in the end.

I hope you will find the strenght to get out of this loop. I think you should give it one last try before actually calling it quits for good.
Good luck and stay strong.

No. 251395

You know there's a difference between saying something like
>"Anon what you're doing is entitled and could wind up driving your friends away so this isn't a good idea."
>"Omg you entitled gofatme you aren't doing shit for people how fucking dare you."

Anyway, I'm about to go on my second walk for the day with a friend.
Have a good time talking more shit and behaving miserable on lolcow today just because of a stupid idea I didn't even act on and vented anonymously about.

No. 251400

File: 1526848437523.gif (73.88 KB, 200x150, olala.gif)

>You sound shitty btw I hope you don't lose weight you stranger I've fought with once on the internet! That ought ta teach ya!

No. 251431

File: 1526851791394.gif (436.13 KB, 500x362, JvRjPo9.gif)

I helped my BF move out to LA last week so he can start his life but I'm staying in our hometown so I can finish my degree. I'm love him a lot and I'm going to miss him but I'm really afraid of how we're going to navigate a LDR. Part of me has faith that we can make it through and part of me has no idea what's going to happen. I could possibly have a degree and graduate by this December but I'm still scared.

No. 251439

File: 1526852913151.jpeg (144.89 KB, 1440x1254, 6717AD1C-68EE-40DE-8C1E-0CEC2F…)

>Argues their shitty point for over ten hours
>Wow im soooooo not bothered by you guys

No. 251470

File: 1526856385763.gif (1.26 MB, 480x270, giphy (11).gif)

>posts this hours after the fighting has stopped

No. 251473

File: 1526856971378.jpg (42.53 KB, 431x415, 1402862626768.jpg)

>friends are currently feuding against each other
>one friend hangs out with me
>posts pictures to social media
>the other friend gets jealous and tries to one up other friend by offering to do something else with me

Their fighting makes me a little uncomfortable and I know I'm just the object in their feud, but it feels kinda nice to be fussed over low key.
I'm liking the attention.

No. 251477


>"pls pay my fat weeaboo ass to lose weight or else you don't care about me and hate me reeeeee"-anon

No. 251482

File: 1526858199306.gif (424.79 KB, 512x512, lol.gif)

No. 251507

Why do you think the only people calling you out on your bs are anachans? You're no better than the skelly who sperged about how everyone who disagreed with her was fat.

No. 251508

I'm not even her, just taking the piss out of you because for all you protest about that fatty being bothered, you seem as roasted.

Knock it off. For real.

No. 251520

I hope you're still in HS. You might like this now, but in the future the tables will probably turn. Be careful of people like this, anon. They don't actually care about you. It seems like you're aware of that at least.

No. 251530

No, I'm 26 and they're about a year or so older than me. Tbh I do think they're immature in their own ways, I'm playing it smart by not telling either of them anything too personal, keeping it civil.

I just like the attention is all. I usually don't get much from friends these days.
If they dropped me tomorrow it would be business as usual.

I think the one friend genuinely likes me though. She includes me in things without doing it just to piss the other friend off, and reaches out to me. The other one clearly is more of a suck up and a bit shady, that's the one who one-ups constantly and who I'm cautious about.

No. 251534

That’s a shorty position to be put in anon. You don’t have to pick a side and if they ask you to, tell ‘em to piss off.

No. 251551

It's 3.30am where I am and I have to get up at 7am for an exam tomorrow. It's one of my college finals. I'm awake because my stupid fucking brother has been banging on my wall all night and I'm an extremely light sleeper.

He does this all the time when I have an exam. He loves getting into fights and he's just waiting for me to text him or tell him off so he can wake the rest of the house too. He's such a cunt. I'm always quiet when I know someone is studying or sleeping but he's such a spoiled, manipulative little shit and he doesn't care about anyone but himself. I honestly hate him and I can't wait to excommunicate once I eventually move out.

No. 251557

Less than a year ago I spent a week crying about feeling the need to kill myself. My grades were in the shitter and I felt like I had no future. I just had some extremely unstable moods and behaviors in general.

Now I feel really great about my life and I feel rather at peace. My grades are less shitty now, and I've gotten a dream internship beyond my wildest imagination.

But since I'm an anxious person there's a feeling lurking at the back of my mind that something might not be right. Is it really possible for someone to change this much less than a year? I didn't take meds or go to therapy. I feel like people usually say recovering to this extent without any professional help is impossible.

No. 251559

File: 1526871336479.jpg (54.02 KB, 400x400, yakui.jpg)

I need to see a therapist but it's hard to get in contact with one. I live with my parents in a shitty satellite city with limited options and have tried looking into online counseling but I'm unsure about it. I used to see this family therapist in high school that I tried getting in contact with recently and he hasn't called me back. I feel like it's because he remembers what a dumb cunt I was and doesn't want to deal with me again. Part of me thinks I just need to stiff out my emotional problems but I'm really starting to think that it's impossible.

No. 251561

I'm so fucking angry. I found out about an incel who catfishes girls on tinder and then sets up dates with them. He shows up to those dates with a camera and makes fun of the girls and even calls them names. What the fuck there's nothing to be done against this guy?

No. 251566

File: 1526872229477.png (1.5 MB, 750x1334, rGkvamo.png)

MGOTW and incels are the scum of the earth. MGOTW isnt as bad… but they're more of a incel in progress, despite their denials.

I've heard a syndrome like this before, forgot it's name though. You deserve every bit of what you've earned. Work hard. Good luck anon!

Ouch, best wishes to you anon.

No. 251571

Most mgtows are incels tbh
One minute
next minute:
"Waaah women wont have sex with me after I opened the door, all women want chad cock"

I wouldnt even care but it's been contaminating a lot of youtube tbh, everything from the news, to cat videos, to just innocent videos, mgtows and incels have to turn everything into a gender war of how oppressed men are by western women, its always western women too, which I don't get because most western women aren't feminists, some are even MRAs but it shows you who they are when most western women can be carbon copies of what they want but god forbid a few bitches exist because that apparantly represents all women who live in a certain area

No. 251580

I believe you're talking about what they call imposter syndrome


and anxiety definitely plays into it. I've experienced it myself in the past couple years now that I've gotten my "shit together" yet I still have this horrid past full of mistakes and blunders. I try to just be thankful and stop doubting myself all the time. I'm sure you're doing great anon, just keep it up and good luck with your internship. You may consider therapy though if your anxiety and self doubt interferes with your daily life.

No. 251635

She said her grades were bad though, sounds more like something like bipolar.

No. 251642

I am miserable every single day and I wish I had a way out.

I remember the last time I felt happy. I was 15. I remember being happy at home with my mother. I remember going to the shops with her. I remember going on walks. I remember I was doing well in school, I remember I had friends, I remember being okay.
I guess it was when I was 16 when I started falling apart, and never really was able to put myself back together. The subsequent years are filled with so many terrible decisions, which hurt myself and disappointed those around me. And I guess the only reason I can blame for being unhappy is myself.

I think it was three years ago when I made the decision to really be better. I tried to be a better person. I cut out my toxic relationships. I stopped doing cigarettes, weed, even alcohol. I enrolled in college. I got to the root of my problems–from being a star student that never even stayed up late, to a chronic fuck up who could barely wake up in the morning. And I think I realized that I was depressed because I was suppressing the many years of abuse I encountered as a very young child at the hands of the family my dad remarried into. I pushed myself to be better. And I eventually did alright. From an objective standpoint, someone would see a person who is doing well in life.

But every day I feel horribly, terribly alone. I can't connect with anyone. I just feel so apart and so disconnected no matter how hard I try. Life feels like this weird, endless, dark hole; it feels like I'm falling backward into a bottomless pit with no way to stop it.

I realize that happiness is something you have to work at. It's not freely given. And I realize that, by the luck of my own birth, I have resources and opportunities that other people don't. So I exercise. I get enough sunlight. I have hobbies. I eat a plant based diet, I drink lots of water, I have cut out soda and I don't do drugs. I try to stay in contact with people. I push myself to go to school and to volunteer. I keep a diary. I try to fix my negative behavior patterns, I try to recognize when I'm being irrational, I think about how my actions affect others and how my thoughts affect my actions. I ask people for advice. I'm going to see a therapist for the first time in years next week.

But I'm not happy. And it's not even that I'm not happy, it's that I'm profoundly miserable. I hate waking up every single day. I hate that I'm a bad person, I hate how I look, I hate how stupid I am, I hate that I'm a self-centered asshole, I hate I haven't graduated from college yet, I hate that my family sees me as a disappointment, I hate that I can't be a good girlfriend, I hate that I'm a bad friend, and I hate that I constantly do the wrong thing. I hate that every single day I feel hopeless. I have not felt excited about anything in years. I am constantly afraid that the people I love hate me, that they are always talking about me behind my back. I get unreasonably jealous when it comes to my boyfriend and I can often be moody and sullen and emotional. It feels like no one ever does anything unless they can make sure I won't be there. And maybe they're right in doing that–maybe because I'm such an awful, boring, sad person they don't want me to come. But it still makes me feel so much more lonely.

I want to get out of this. I can't keep faking the idea that things are going to get better. I can't keep going when every day I feel worse and worse and I hate the future and I hate the past and I just don't want to go on anymore.

The last time I posted my thoughts about this I was told to sod off and that I was just a whiny, stupid girl. I'm sorry that I'm posting again. I understand that, by and large, there's no reason for me to be sad. I have a family, friends, a boyfriend, a roof over my head, I'm in school, ect. I have everything I need and I try so hard to recognize that and to be grateful for what I've been given. I try to be happy, to make the right decisions. But I can't be. I think there's something wrong with me. I keep making all these stupid decisions and feeling all these stupid sad things and I can't fix it and I don't want to keep trying anymore. I don't feel like it's ever going to get better.

I just want to say I doubt your old therapist isn't returning your calls for any personal reason. He may not be accepting patients at the time, or he may be looking to close his practice, or any number of reasons.

Have you looked at https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists for finding a therapist near you? I'm assuming you live in the US, so I'm sorry if this doesn't help you. Also, if you're not sure about how to go about talking to a therapist, here's this useful guide:


I wish you all the best.

Not to armchair, but I feel like her feeling better about her life after getting better grades and a good internship isn't a symptom of bipolar disorder. It sounds like anon is just struggling with anxiety or depression and is questioning if she deserves feeling better about her life, which I'm sure a lot of people can relate to. I think this anon >>251580 hits the nail on the head.

No. 251669

i'm pissed off with my adult ass upper middle class friends getting super immersed in communism for some reason

like it just started out as memes but now i can see they really just want to never get jobs and do their shitty hobbies all day so they always quote marx and shit to justify it. not even edgy enough to be real welfare queens and do drugs or w/e. just draining their parents income and playing pokemon and crying. i just know that under communism they wouldn't have the opportunity to be the hammy weebs they are, so why are they so obsessed with it ? I come from a low income background and everyone gets annoyed with capitalism now and then but they give me shit all the time for not being a commie

No. 251691

a while ago i found a term online that really explained how i've felt for years. i've seen a therapist before but haven't for a while, but i thought about going back to her to talk about it, but i'm kind of worried because i don't want to know i identify with a thing that gets laughed at or called too tumblr or whatever. i think i'd rather ignore it and stay feeling weird inside than have part of me be something so put down

No. 251702

Yeah I think that's part of it. One thing is that I did really well in high school, struggle in college, and am doing well in college again. I'm just surprised with the problems I've had I managed to recover relatively quickly.

Impostor syndrome sounds about right. Thanks for the luck!

I definitely don't have bipolar. I've never had a manic episode, just depression. I was worried me feeling good could be mania, but then I realized that people do a lot of impulsive things then.

No. 251716

>I am constantly afraid that the people I love hate me, that they are always talking about me behind my back. I get unreasonably jealous when it comes to my boyfriend and I can often be moody and sullen and emotianal.
I was abused too and have these feelings. Might be cptsd.

No. 251719

I was diagnosed with PTSD by a psychiatrist when I was a teen, but I've never heard of CPTSD. What is that?

I'm so sorry you went through it too, anon.

No. 251722

"you can get PTSD after one traumatic event like an accident, but you can’t get complex PTSD after one traumatic event. You can get complex PTSD after you’ve been in a traumatizing situation for a long time in which you had the feeling you could not escape. Such a situation can easily last months or years, and often these experiences change your personality. People with complex PTSD can have outbursts of anger, feel always sad, and have suicidal thoughts. Sometimes they can forget about the horrible event, or relive it. They often feel guilty, shameful, helpless and worthless. Those suffering complex PTSD can find it hard to trust others again, and issues with intimacy can arise."

No. 251728

God, NTA but I was also only diagnosed with regular PTSD and this explains so many of my long term issues as well. I deal with huge rage issues and push everyone away out of fear and paranoia.

I believe therapy or opening up to a loved one is the way to go with this sort of issue. My mother has helped me a lot so far, and I'm sure a good therapist could do the same. Good luck with therapy, >>251642 !

No. 251731

Reading this, I just kind of went.. "oh."

I was abused every weekend for many years of my life, starting when I was very young. This is all making things much more clear.

Is this an actual diagnosis in the DSM? As in, will my therapist be able to help me with it?

No. 251748

I hate how the guy I like keeps bringing up this girl (with this dumb ass name).

No. 251750

It's not official sadly, and I guess it would be harder to treat than regular ptsd but maybe you can find a therapist that knows about it.
I tried getting emdr therapy but it was too expensive so I stopped going, so I don't really know what helps.

No. 251757

Some unethical shrinks will use C-PTSD as shorthand for borderline, be aware. Unless you have a strong history of physical and/or sexual abuse, they don’t diagnose C-PTSD. Not where I am, anyhow.

No. 251762

CBT can still help, anon. So can spiritually based meditation, for me, anyhow.

No. 251768


I've always been wary of getting treatment for my mental health because of the fear of the borderline stigma. I just want to get help with my problems and be a better person, but I'm afraid of being turned away if I'm too much to handle.

I hope therapy will help because all my relationships, especially with myself, are in crisis right now and I don't know how to go forward without having a breakdown every day.

No. 251787

File: 1526926512922.gif (1.94 MB, 500x269, 2F3E97D1-9633-46F4-9171-4AFC95…)

I’m tired of being a fucking airhead with no reason to exist.
I have money and anything I could ask for but I’m tired of having an IQ equivalent to a pickle.

I don’t know where to start and I’m scared that I’ll sound even more stupid if I ask for help.

No. 251812

Just got to my room and I think someone slept in my bed. Immediately after entering I sensed that's something's wrong. The bed is made differently. I have quite unique way of making my bed so I can see it.
My pillow smells of some hair product I don't recognize.
Now I don't know if I'm being paranoid or my fucking roommate was hosting someone here. It infuriates me, and it's a special pet peeve of mine (I don't even accept my beloved cats in bed) but I can't really go "hey did you let someone sleep in my bed because it smells funny" also we are barely on talking terms, we're living together but we're like two strangers.
Why had gods punished me with an Erasmus roommate

No. 251818

This reminds me I once let a boy sleep (sleep only, no sex) in my housemates' double bed for a few hours with me before work (my room was single bed and she was on holiday)

Am I going to hell

No. 251832

My husband and I have had sex on my mother-in-law's bed.

Before I was with my husband, I hooked up with a youth minister and we fucked on the pool table in the rec room of his church.

You're fine.

No. 251834

Don't ask if someone did sleep. Just go up to them and tell them something like "Hey, if you ever have someone over and they want to sleep here, don't let them use my bed. Thanks." If they ask wtf you're talking about you can either confront them or tell them "oh you know I just thought it'd be good to set some rules straight".

Also Erasmus is a great thing you just were unlucky with the person.

No. 251846

File: 1526936147547.jpg (22.86 KB, 275x231, snakeicide.jpg)

>spent the last 3 years suffering from apd
>finally making progress on making acquaintances at work and school and become a progressive citizen
>family sees progress and pushes me to go out and experience the world
>end up being forced to stop by store to get my cat's food
>rushing too fast out the door
>bump into a 9/10 girl
>she says sorry and automatically starts chatting me up
>become friends with the stacy at the shitty retail store after 30 mins of her talking at me
>every friday i stop by from work for cat food
>she's always hanging around outside
>3 weeks past
>turns out we have the same interests mainly music and movies
>turns out she lives at the same block as me
>she's now a 10/10
>am i a lesbian?
>she tells me her bf works at the store
>damn, here comes another silent crush
>5 months pasts by and we're on best friend status
>late summer night
>walking down street bc insomnia and new pair of balls
>see her bf walking down the street into her apartment building
>clearly on something
>he dropped his wallet
>thinks about giving him his wallet until he's gone
>continue my walk
>suddenly stacy stops showing up at the store and stops texting me for a month
>too autistic to visit her
>just thinks she forgot about me
>a year later a body was found by our harbor
>she was shot
>mfw it was stacy
>mfw i didn't know for 2 years bc a dead prostitute isn't newsworthy
>mfw i could've possibly stopped her pimp but didn't
>mfw her pimp is not in the country anymore

No. 251860

Holy shit, this sounds too crazy to be true. Did you give the cops info about him?

No. 251876

uh well at least in a slightly different universe you experienced an epic love story with a happy ending

No. 251880

My MIL gets told all the time not to put pics of my husband or I on social media. She always agrees to this then just does it again not long after.

The last time she took a pic of us, she said "don't worry, I won't put it on Facebook". I thought to myself "I bet she's gonna put it on Instagram" and immediately felt guilty for doubting her.

Sure enough, she puts it on fucking Instagram.

No. 251885

I indeed did, including physical description and his name, sure enough his personal info was fake
Life's a bitch

No. 251888

my bf just dumped me
he's suicidal and depressed and hears voices and nothing i could do helped
i feel like someone just ripped my heart out and stomped on it
he didn't believe i loved him he said I'm just young and confused but god damn it I love him and it's not fair i'd give anything for him to be happy and i'd wait forever just to die in his arms

i can't even cry anymore i just feel empty

No. 251907

Roommate is nasty and should absolutely not be allowing anyone in your bed. That’s disgusting, make them clean your linens.
You can absolutely ask them if they felt entitled enough to give away your space and allow someone to use your things.


No. 252028

Thanks for the info. I can relate to your post a lot honestly. I've also recently made positive changes in my life and yet it still feels like I'm being slowly crushed.

Have you tried reading? When I feel dumb reading always seems to make me feel a little sharper.

No. 252035

The fact you’re scared to ask is why you’re probably a lil dumb. Smart people ask questions. Lots and lots of them. All of the time. They question everything and everyone around them. You can’t be afraid to ask when that’s the only way to know.

No. 252111

Getting tired of how popular woman hate is now, although i know it's always been around. Seems men talk about it and get a large amount of support for it due to the growing popularity of alternative politics. There's so many videos with millions of views talking about women in a really negative manner with comments that make me honestly scared for my future around these men. It just makes me so angry that I work my ass off to have got where I am in life and some pathetic manosphere on the internet, addicted to vidya and rubbing his small sick to tranny porn thinks I'm beneath him just because I'm a woman. Why are woman trashed and called roasties when i see them out having careers, getting degrees, and accomplishing so much? And I see so many men around me just not accomplishing anything, being fat slobs wasting most their life playing their video games and being on the internet, blaming the world for their problems.

No. 252112

…and women defending these little shits.

No. 252114

Jealousy, insecurity, and male narcissism. It's easier for men to laze around and trash women like the fucking bums they are instead of actually bettering themselves.

No. 252139

Was only talking to my bf recently and he mentioned hating how many YouTubers/streamers he once liked turned out to be alt-right, woman-hating assholes. I hate to sound like a Tumblrina but they're all straight, white men and I think it's a reaction to the rise of good, successful feminist movements. They look at things like #metoo or women's only events or steps towards equality in the workplace and they think "Weeeh but what about me? Feminism doesn't benefit meeee!"

So instead of looking into these movements and trying to understand them or where women are coming from, they push back. It's actually shocking how common it is to see men in support of banning abortion, pushing women out of the workplace, trying to make contraception less available, demanding boys be mollycoddled in the school system (because god forbid little girls are doing better!), men in support of human trafficking and becoming more religious and extremist in general. There's a huge amount of support for that kind of thing online and I feel like lolcow is the only place I feel comfortable anymore due to it being majority female. Even Facebook disgusts me with the amount of men who would have fit in well during the 1800s posting their shitty, toxic opinions with absolutely no fear of society turning on them (their full names, face, pictures of their kids and workplaces…all public).

I'm taking a course in Computer Science atm and the opinions of some of these men would actually make you sick tbh. That might be another post.

No. 252140

you make it sound illogical but even if it's horrible it is consistent that men would scorn women
>when i see them out having careers, getting degrees, and accomplishing so much
For most of history this was the life of a man, and now women are acting more like men, which to you is just "being more accomplished" because you have internalised patriarchy. There's a type of feminism that points out that these concepts of career, industry academia etc., were created by men for them to do what men like doing. Women with careers are buying in to the masculine structure. You might not agree but probably men seeing a bunch of women being really good at being men, isn't doing it for them

No. 252143

What careers are you talking about, anon? You choose your career. If you're in a job that you like, that's hardly "giving in to our patriarchal society". There are more careers out there than working in an office, you know. Anyway, what's the alternative to you? Staying home and popping out kids? Cleaning? Cooking? Just because women got stuck with those careers, doesn't mean they enjoy them. In fact, I think the fact that we're getting closer to an equal society and I don't know any stay-at-home moms is a good sign that that's not what women enjoy doing when offered the choice.

No. 252148

>just because women got stuck with those careers, doesn't mean they enjoy them.
i think this is the point of that branch of feminism (i forget what it's called). The idea is women do actually like and enjoy caring, nurturing, raising children and things like cooking, but have been tricked into hating these things because they don't make any money for capitalism. Like the idea is a society where these aren't things that people think are for losers.

No. 252149

I think I got a bad cold. I can't miss a day of my internship or I'll have to do them over and it's a pain to reschedule.
I can't think, I can't work, I just want to sleep.
I'll have to go beg my doctor to give me something and spend 50€ I don't have on it.
I feel like killing myself over it and it's so stupid.
I hope my doctor will at least give me some kind of pain medication so I can be high while I'm miserable.
I don't know how I'm going to take a month of this AND then have to do all the work at the end.
And then do another year.
I feel like giving up again and just go back to being a neet full time waiting 'till my bf don't want me anymore to kms.

No. 252150

Imagine being dumb enough to think that women actually enjoy cleaning toilets, getting up earlier so that her kids and husband get a breakfast and then having to wash their dirty undies on top of it…

No. 252151

wait till you actually have a kid, you'll open your eyes. Oh wait you're a careercel, it wont happen

No. 252156

What's a careercel? Why not use normal English words that are in the dictionary like career-oriented instead of using retarded /r9k/ lingo?

Oh wait, you're a brainlet and a robot.

Anyhow, I've personally been in a care giver/nurturer situations and I know that I really don't enjoy them and I also know that I'm not a special snowflake and that there are lots of other women like me that don't like it either.

Besides, all the moms that I know get treated like shit after a short time. It's truly an unthankful job when your husband and kids start taking you for granted and you don't get paid for all the time that you spend nor can you put it on a resume. If you're a stereotypical stay-at-home mom then you entirely depend on your husband and hope that he doesn't ditch you for a younger woman like it usually happens when men get in their mid-life crisis.

No. 252157

I agree with you, anon(s).

I love cooking for myself, but most mothers aren't cooking meals they want to eat nor getting appreciation every time they do it. It's just an expectation in most households.

Cleaning? I love me a clean home. But try picking up after a pig husband and a few brats everyday and it gets tiresome as hell. Another unappreciated daily task that gets swept under the rug because people assume since women silently do it, they must like it.

It's overall boring and tedious.

I'm pretty sure the reason why housewives don't share more of their grievances is because they don't want to be judged for sounding lazy or unmotherly. But it's true. Picking up after people and being their maid day in and out is fucking awful.

However let's not even pretend that women are only expected to be domestic these days. It takes two incomes to keep a household afloat because men no longer bring home a meaningful salary. In addition to being mommies and maids, they now have to work full time or part time too.
There was a study that found women who have a job and then come home to do chores are more likely to be depressed. Because who isn't depressed when they bust their ass at a job only to come home to kids and a messy house? That's UNPAID labor that women are just expected to do to prove how "nurturing" they are.

No. 252159

>you don't get paid for all the time that you spend nor can you put it on a resume
i'm surprised at the extent that you cannot even conceive what I'm talking about

No. 252163

Enlighten me then.

What happens when children or the husband or both don't reciprocate mother's affection? All that time, all that labor for nothing.

With work, you get experience that makes you more competitive in the job market. With work you get compensated in money. With housework, you get neither.

But I'm sure in your imaginary world traditional families are perfect and no such thing happens. Husbands are always faithful and children are always grateful and women love scrubbing the house clean day after day but the evil jews made stupid women think otherwise, right?

No. 252173

>wait till you actually have a kid, you'll open your eyes.
I highly doubt having kids will make someone suddenly enjoy changing nappies and doing thankless work for a lazy husband, you nutter.

This. I agree with everything you said.

No. 252175

>having children doesn't make money for capitalism

are you high? do you know how the economy works? please explain how all the countries with low birth rates (like japan) are royally fucked because of low birth rates.

having children is definitely contributing to the economy because they're fucking expensive. in the USA we get tax breaks for having them.

idk what "muh capitalism" even has to do with it, but you sound like a moron, a bitter moron.

No. 252177

i think you've misunderstood a big part of a lot of feminist ideas about capitalism? a pretty big part of capitalism is relying on unpaid labour at home done by women, who have to also raise children to contribute too. the nuclear family with a doting mother idea is pushed as the natural thing to do because in the long term it's the most successful under capitalism. many, many women have absolutely zero desire to spend their lives picking up after other people but once you've already decided to do what you're encouraged to do and pop out a couple of kids, they have to stick to what their life is for the foreseeable future and make the best of it

No. 252179

Maybe in some places Erasmus students are better, especially in countries that are popular and appealing so more people genuinely interested in an experience of exchange go there. In my dorm everyone hates them because they think they're in some American teenage movie - acting loud and obnoxious, shouting and singing in corridors, knocking on random doors at night, barging into the rooms, intoxicated 24/7. This isn't how real life is. They're here for a little while so they don't care. My uni handles them shittly and they have little to no classes, allowing them to do everything except studying. Dorm security can't speak English, they're useless. The only thing we can do is file a complaint but I'm not sure they even check those. God I hate them. Not like I hate individual humans, but this collective of wild Erasmus students. I was way more tolerant and always defended them until my floor suddenly became Erasmus floor this semester and they put this girl in my room. Now I know.
Whew, good to vent, bottled it up for a while

No. 252187

Damn they sound awful. I studied abroad (not on Erasmus though, out of Europe) and it was super fun because as you say, we had very few classes, and we were in a really nice and safe country so exploring and drinking at night was completely fine, but your situation sounds like a whole other bag of beans.

Maybe try to bring this to the international office at your uni. They should be in contact with the international office from their home uni(s), so if you and other students come forward with complaints about the group, they can relay them to their school which might in turn send them a warning (with possibly the threat of lowering credits or more). If no one ever complains then the next batch of erasmus will be just as bad because they'll have seen the cool party pictures and heard the wacky stories from their seniors and want to do the same, sadly.

No. 252188

It's not only Erasmus students, it's all foreign exchange students who have "Pass/Fail" classes. At my uni many are Americans, Mexicans and Colombians with money to blow on trips, drinking and taking instagram selfies of their #europevacay, and Master's students who don't do shit all year then panic when the time comes to write their Master's thesis. I went on a double diploma exchange programme (which meant that my grades would count and I had to take really difficult courses, but was otherwise treated as just another foreign student) and I couldn't do shit because I was too busy whereas Erasmus students partied and got drunk every night, then left during the exam week and would not stop posting those stupid #takemeback photos of all the fun they had and BAWWing on social media whilst we had to work our asses off yet everyone saw us as these dumb party kids.

No. 252194

>because they don't make any money for capitalism
LMAO WHAT? women's unpaid domestic labour is the foundation of capitalism LMAOOOOOOOO

No. 252202

> Getting tired of how popular woman hate is now

Exactly, it's everywhere now. I posted ITT a while back how thot and thotting are regularly used and applied to virtually every woman, and it's evidently a symptom of a wider and fiercer misogyny, at least online. Everything is a casus belli for a gender war. If a woman does something, it's clearly a sign that all women are like that. If a woman is a bad driver then all women are unfit to drive. If a woman complains about working, then all women have this suppressed desire to become homemakers. One false rape accusation is enough to discredit every rape accusation.

I never see the same amount of visceral hatred towards men when they do something, and even when someone (usually a woman) points out in an article about a guy that abuses his girlfriend or wife, or murders a woman, how men statistically are much more likely to commit such horrendous crimes, then there are numerous accounts that will defend men, saying how it's nothing like that, and that one man does not represent all men. Fair point, but the same apologetic stance doesn't seem to apply to women.

I don't engage in man hating threads and I've been on internet for a long time so I'm pretty much indifferent to misogyny in regular places which is why I noticed this alarming trend of women being insulted just for existing, calls for violence against women on unrelated videos, youtube channels, social media, news comments etc.

What's even more worrying is that it's seen as normal. We're accustomed to it.
If you as a girl don't laugh at such 'remarks' then you're a stuck up bitch. I've also seen other women both ironically and unironically throw the word thot at other women and men cheering. It's all so disgusting and vile.

No. 252204

Slightly off-topic but that reminds me of a guy from my university who went to Japan to study for a year and he wouldn't stop posting about him having fun, him eating in restaurants and McDonald all the time, partying and fucking a bunch of random guys on his tumblr. He bragged about Japanese colleges being way too easy for a genius like him before getting his grades, and it turned out that he failed his second semester. Despite the fact that college in Japan IS easier than the ones in our countries according to all the people I know who studied there. He's notoriously bad for showing off all the time and criticizing people who are at least as competent as him so I thought that was pretty funny.

All the Erasmus and foreign students I met during my classes where really serious about studying and had very good grades, but that didn't stop them from partying. But I can totally imagine others I don't know from my classes being there just for fun and thinking they're on holidays all year long. I wish I were rich enough to study abroad, fuck.

No. 252205

Guy i've been seeing for a month freaked out yesterday because I made a joke about the dress I forgot in his house looking great on him and started saying that's disrespectful and it ''would've earned me a blow'' if I were there.

I've really liked him previously but I honestly feel like him showing his true colours have made me lose everything that was previously there, I'm not sure if this is cold of me or it's justified.

No. 252206

File: 1527014841347.gif (2.79 MB, 700x394, giphy.gif)

>''would've earned me a blow'
that's not a red flag, that's a red curtain. Gtfo. What an insane thing to say to someone

No. 252207

Can we please have our man hate thread again? Are people just not making them or are the mods deleting them?

No. 252208

File: 1527014998189.jpg (62.06 KB, 800x800, red-flag-std_1.jpg)

I told him I want to stop seeing him and he started guilting me saying that it's concerning I would leave him ''THAT EASILY'' after the shit he said like uhhhhhhhhhh

No. 252209

Ew, men being uncomfortable with their masculinity is incredibly repulsive. I always interpret violent threat as testing the waters, if you let it slide maybe next time he can fake slap you., then slap you, then punch you, etc…

No. 252211

File: 1527015469468.gif (4.93 MB, 480x190, giphy (1).gif)

Anon, get out. That is the stupidest shit. Say sayonara to the crazy man. How are you even considering this? Block his number, peace out.

No. 252212

I'm scared he might show up at my house or do something else stalkery so i'm giving it a day like he said before peacing the fuck out

No. 252214

My guess is that the man hating thread is on auto-sage because it attracts unwarranted guests aka robots. tbh it's also annoying when you get other farmers that come in men's defense, even though the OP clearly states it's for anons to vent about their negative experience with men so it doesn't necessarily mean all men, but then you have to explain that to multiple anons that a) don't bother reading the OP, b) don't bother reading the thread or previous posts

So the man hating threads usually becomes a discourse between robots and farmers, where robots keep bringing up stale arguments and some farmers even try to rationalize with them and also a lot of repetitive posts in between "omg I can't believe you can be so mean to poor men!!1"

I'm not sure if I want the man hating thread back because of these reasons. If only people knew how to hide threads hmmm…

No. 252217

File: 1527017103044.jpg (12.88 KB, 269x269, w81A9dPd_400x400.jpg)

I just realized why everyone before me quit this job.

Our company basically consists of 3 salesmen (and one of them is the ceo), who travel often and then there's me. If all 3 of them decided to travel somewhere I'm left basically running the entire company - creating offers, writing down sales, communicating with the customers, transport organization, orders etc., the only thing I won't have to do is accounting.

Unless they pay me properly I'm out of there in a few months too

No. 252235

I'm bisexual (sigh maybe a closet lesbian) and I'm stuck in a hetero relationship. I want to break up but I'm afraid he'll kill himself (cause he's had several attempts lately) and he's my best friend.

I have never enjoyed sex with him. I thought it was cause I was depressed but now that I'm recovering I masturbate alone to girls.

I feel trapped. I've felt trapped for over a year.

No. 252267

Why do you assume she’s gonna end up with some gross slob and awful bratty kids? Maybe she’s smart enough to avoid the shit most of the women bitching about this stuff have avoided.

How is it not just as sexist to state that every single male is a lazy selfish piece of shot who can’t even use a tea towel as it is to say that women are nurturers who delight on cleaning everyone’s dirty socks.

No. 252292

>Maybe she’s smart enough to avoid the shit most of the women bitching about this stuff have avoided.
Yes, because people who cheat and act like slobs are open about it like that and take no measures whatsoever to conceal it and/or gaslight their partner into believing that it's actually their fault. Because once you're completely dependent on a guy for steady income and bound to him by a couple of kids you're not going to be afraid to rock the boat whatsoever.

Robot, swerve.

No. 252295

they will never cape for you no matter how much you lick their taint

No. 252299

With on-the-books work, you aren't the only one getting a cut. The government gets 15.3% of your salary, before income taxes. Your company is probably making something off your labor as well. Unless you like the job, I'd try to pay those institutions as little as I can.

Everyone should clean their own homes and cook their own meals anyway. Where the hell are you all finding men incapable of doing these basic chores anyway? Laundry, OK, but cooking and dish-washing are mostly male trades.

And I was coming in here to complain that no one had given me work in weeks and it was making me fear for my job.

Maybe we should swap.

No. 252324

You need to tell him the truth. It's not good for you to suffer to keep someone else happy.
This man needs genuine therapy if he's attempting suicide so often, and it's not on you to keep him from doing so. That's too much stress on anyone. You should definitely be supportive of him, but please don't put your desires aside to keep him 'ok'. You aren't the one to determine if he lives or dies, ultimately it's his decision. He really needs to seek a professional form of help, it's not OK for him to use you as 'life support'. There's a difference between being able to vent, and just using someone to try and 'feel better'. It's beyond just feelings, it's genuine mental illness, and no one can fix that for him, he needs to fix himself.

No. 252334

I mean, I know some people become gross after moving in together but surely people see each other’s homes and then live together before getting married.

It doesn’t seem likely that guys wait for ten years and then suddenly becomes a pig. You’d notice someone who doesn’t pick up after themselves or ever offer to help out while dating them.

Not totally related but imo whoever is home the most should take care of the house regardless of gender. Never ever 100% responsibility, I mean the weekly shit like vacuuming and dusting. Anyone who refuses to do much as pick up their dishes is a dick.

I understand that a lot of women are trapped in situations where they’re being taken advantage of. It’s just the false dichotomy of all men and all women. An all or nothing rule doesn’t work when you apply it to people.

I’m not saying aww poor widdle men are
all innocent protect them from the big mean feminists. I’m saying it’s false to claim every single member of any group share a single characteristic or behaviour. It’s not even about the gendered stuff so much as bad arguments.

No. 252342

what are we even fighting about now?

some women enjoy and make better housewives, some women enjoy being a career woman and prefer it over being a housewife, why people are so frickin stuck on screeching at women to become submissive, babymaking, housewives and not focus on their career or that makes them lonely bitter "Carrercels" is beyond me

especially with a world as overpopulated as ours, don't these same dipshits argue about how fucked our economy is.. while encouraging even more overpopulation then there already is just for the sake of tradition because for some reason, if women choose to become housewives or not, offends men if they don't

don't even get me started on the obsession with womens reproduction organs and thinking that if a woman doesn't marry and impregnate herself with the first guy she sees her eggs will turn into raisins, if women are happy with their career or housewife, let them be, who the fuck cares about if they wanna shoot out crotchspawns or not, there's 7 billion people in the world, even if half of women chose not to reproduce the human race still won't die out, if that's even what they're worried about but I doubt it, rather they're just arguing about women not all choosing to be submissive housewife fairies

No. 252349

A few years ago, some guy my boyfriend was friends with spread a rumor about me that screwed me over. When my boyfriend told me about this, I made it clear that he shouldn't be friends with this guy. It's not like we had a disagreement or I find him annoying, I think this guy really hurt me, and I feel like my request was reasonable.

It turns out today my boyfriend still visited him despite that. What the fuck…

No. 252373

What the fuck? That is so unacceptable. People who treat your SO like shit shouldn't be allowed in your life. This is "how not to be a shitty boyfriend/girlfriend 101".

No. 252399

Had a shit day at work
>starts off I forget my wallet at home, moving apartments so I could only find one pair of pants
>get dress coded
>"maybe the rest of the day won't be so bad"
>be waitress
>one woman drops her dessert, when I asked what it was she said apple pie, then I later ask again to confirm before getting her a new one
>it comes out, give it back, wait tables for a bit
>boss comes in and yells at me how it wasn't apple pie it was mud pie, and now we have to give her a new one
>"she said twice it was apple pie"
>boss doesnt listen
>one guy calls and order take out, when I asked him to clarify his order he hung up, called again, i assumed he hung up accidentally but when I told him we didnt serve a special he wanted he hung up rudely again
>get a flat tire going home

Someone please assure me I won't get fired, im super anxious ever since I left work the second I go back I'll get fired, I tried busting my ass throughout the day to makeup for it as well

No. 252400

Also I want to add, I live in a cut-throat type of area, ie tbe first time you fuck up you're sacked even if it was as little as coming in late once, I lost my last two jobs due to it being this cut-throat, while this job seemed to be in a more chill environment, im terrified they won't give me a second chance and I can't just keep going through jobs like used socks

No. 252445

File: 1527079584893.jpg (27.19 KB, 634x483, 28377537_10209986616655414_490…)

I moved in another country a month ago to work as au pair, officially for a year. My friends and family think I'm living the life, since I post a lot of travel pics on instagram, but the truth is that I'm feeling fucking miserable. The job is stressful, the pay is shitty, especially compared to the high prices of stuff here, the child I'm looking after is Satan's daughter herself and I'm far from the people who love me. I'm already making friends, but it's still that shallow level of friendship that doesn't make you feel actually loved. During the night I often dream of being at home, in my bed, then I open my eyes and see this room. Every day there's at least 5 minutes where I start sobbing like a baby. I scroll through my sister's profile and I start crying. My mom calls me on the phone, I see her name on the screen and start crying. I recall the last day before moving, the coffee with my best friend and the cake that my sister made, and I start crying. During the day I'm often feeling tired, don't talk much, and go to bed at 10 pm hating everything that made me do this choice. I spent a lot of money for this travel and I'm regretting every bit of it. It's been just a month but it seems like an eternity to me.
Now I'm stuck in this situation where if I go back home I won't be this stressed anymore and will have my friends and family back, but my hometown is also Bumfuckville itself, there's no jobs and no future. While if I stay here I might be able to find roommates and another job (since the % of me actually doing the au pair job for the entire year are extremely low) and also my miserableness might just be a phase of adjusting to a new place.
Anyone here has ever been through the same thing? Are my feelings normal and "just a phase" or should I be taking them more seriously?

No. 252461

Sounds like a very bad case of homesickness to me

No. 252463

Yep, emphasized by the lack of interaction with people my age (only in the weekend, not enough for me) and a pretty stressful job. I'll try to hang on for another month or two and decide if jump ship or not.

No. 252466

>boss comes in and yells at me how it wasn't apple pie it was mud pie, and now we have to give her a new one
>"she said twice it was apple pie"

I'm legitimately upset for you because unless she was just a retarded geriatric, that greedy bitch obv just wanted a comped dessert and threw your ass under the bus. People are scumbags.
Let me guess, she still ate the apple pie even though it's not what she wanted eh? Ugh.

No. 252493

That sucks Anon. I feel you. When moving abroad for a while, I went through the first phase of being super happy, loving the feeling of being a little jetlagged and finding everything fantastic even though it's not that different from home, then starting to be homesick and daydreaming about coming home every day. Then I started hanging out with people my age (and mostly from the same country) and I felt a lot happier and more carefree.

You probably have very little free time but maybe get back into a hobby you usually have at home, to get out of the "I hate this place" rut I'd spend days painting in my room and it helped me remember things can be fun even if I'm in a country I don't like.
Also I think it gets harder right after one month (so right where you are) because the novelty of being abroad has worn off? So maybe it will get a bit easier as time goes on.

Also I get what you mean about friendships being superficial. Like even though I fucking loved going out with my friends abroad, we're hardly in contact anymore. Hell, it was a bit awkward to meet up again with some of them back home lol. But even this shallow, just for fun friendship is better than nothing imo. Also I'd recommend meeting people from your own country if you can, or people in similar situations. There might be facebook communities like "Xians in (country)!", or "Au pairs in (country)". Could be nice to see you're not alone.

Sorry for rambling, not sure if this is even helpful. I wish you a lot of courage and good feelings though, stay strong!

No. 252502

my s.o has the tism I'm fairly certain of that. I've spent 5 years hoping that I could learn how to cope or that they would somehow adapt to life with a non-aspie individual. It doesn't improve. I find myself running short on patience and my options are to stay or leave. I know it's obvious but it's hard. I just wish that they weren't ~ different ~ so we could have the life we wanted together.

No. 252504

Went through something similar anon when I did my masters degree. Moved up North but I was the only person on government grants and could only afford the shittiest, most dirty horrible place to live with 30 other people (immigrants mostly who were noisy and aggressive all hours of the day). The room was tiny - just a bed and a chair. The tap water made me sick. It was constantly being broken into. Like being in prison. Had no friends or family nearby and everyone at uni was really snobby.

That was only a year too, but my mental and physical health really suffered that year - I had to go back on medication, my hair fell out in clumps and I got diagnosed with stress-related IBS which I still deal with. It wasn’t worth it for the mediocre degree I got (turns out I struggled to focus in an environment like that). I cried every single day, it was so stressful. Going home at the end knowing I would never have to go back was the most amazing feeling.

So anon, I would stick it out if you truly can cos a year is a short time in the grand scheme of things, but if you’re just doing it for appearance’s sake or because home is boring, then what’s the point? Seriously, it’s not worth your health or happiness, and there’s no reason you can’t do it later on in life if you regret going home. Everyone tells you these things are the time of your life and amazing opportunities, but only because it seems like the right thing to say.

Only you can know for sure whether you can tough it out but remember that life is long and you can always try again when the circumstances are better. Feel better soon anon x

No. 252511

Need to vent
I'm visiting for my Nephew's graduation from HS and since it's a special occasion, I put on makeup yet my parents immediately gripe about it, saying it takes too long and that it's not like there's going to be talent agents there
I only took 10 minutes to apply with very few products and I hardly ever wear makeup anyways. I told my father he's the one who's always pointing out how ugly or fat women are in public and that men say women shouldn't put on makeup and then complain they're ugly without it. Then my mother asks if I'm on my period just for that. Gah so annoying I just want to look cute today.

No. 252513

I'm just about fed up with this fandom server I moderate. One other mod doesn't do shit, and the other is sort of a pushover who doesn't like conflict and gets swayed easy with asspats so is always up to me to deal with the issues that goes on.
Tired of all the shitposting and spam that goes on in the main channels caused by a particular group of spergs. Usually I'm fine with shitposting since I would do it myself every once in a while but no these members are always posting the same overdone jokes/memes/seizure gifs every single day. Giving them warnings doesn't work since the other two useless mods always enable their behavior and spamming.

I feel bad the most for those members who do nothing wrong and just want to have discussions/fangirl over fandom stuff but these fucking spergs always ruin it with their nonsense.

Oh and just want to mention these spergs are in their late 20's . Yet act and write like 12 year olds with the "zomg so randumz XDDD" humor

I feel petty sometimes for getting worked up over it, but this server started as a pretty fun place to share headcanons/fanworks/ideas but is just been going downhill since this group joined that contribute absolutely nothing but nooo I'm the buzzkill I guess for wanting to keep things organized.

No. 252577

Absolutely disgusted by the farmers in the male self post thread.

No. 252580

you're a boring prude

No. 252582

Lmao sure, sorry that I prefer IRL healthy dick.

No. 252586

then why are you here?

No. 252589

I'm not on lolcow to get dick, wtf dude.

No. 252591

>Got myself a new computer after month of a shitty one.
>Try to buy a game, but paypal is fucked, try a bunch of time
>steam randomly block purchases for an undisclosed period of time
>buy my game on humblebundle
>can't redeem it, lol, steam also blocks this for gods knows how long.

Can I just kms now?

No. 252595

> Got myself a new computer after month of a shitty one.

Cool, can you share your specs?

Also, which game did you want to buy?

No. 252601

In my company we had about 10 people quit in the last 6 months. I still do not understand their motivations and I have a bad feeling about this all. I am a newbie myself so I have no idea how to find out more.

yeah, on instagram everyone has a perfect life…

No. 252620

Thanks anons. I noticed that when I stay at home I tend to feel like shit. Tonight I chilled in the garden with the house cats a little bit, while the sun was still up and felt instantly better. I think I need more friends and more time outside. I'm almost there though, I have three aupair friends near me (all of my nationality), when I'm with them I feel more like at home. Wouldn't mind foreign friends either though. If so many girls go for a year abroad, girls with closer families than mine, I might make it too. Fingers crossed!

No. 252644

I'm so damn angry at myself. I could have a very nice life, but still never feel happy.

My room is super nice, my family is lovely and I'm somewhat smart. As a child I was so happy, had many hobbies, friends, I was athletic and the best in my class.
I don't feel suicidal or even really depressed, but I can't remember the last time I was truly content.
My biggest problem is a kind of mentality that I've had for a few years already: Not now, tomorrow.

Just having to do something little like a phone call is enough to ruin my whole day.
I don't like going to classes, but I would be okay with it as long as I don't have to study for an exam or prepare a presentation, he annxiety because of this is enough to make me feel down for weeks.
Sometimes my dad making a 'mean' joke destroys my mood for the rest of the day.
Whenever I go to Uni I constantly compare myself to all the pretty and happy girls there, it feels as if my looks are the only thing i thought about for the last 10 years. But instead of doing something to improve myself, like going on a diet or even just doing little hygenic things like brushing my teeth I always think 'tomorrow'.
'Tomorrow I'm gonna study'. I wouldn't need to study a lot when I actually start or do something at all, I manage to get it done quite quickly, yet I still dread it so much every single time.
Or when some girls at Uni start talking to me I always think 'Not now, not this week, today I look ugly, I barely slept, I don't feel confident enough to talk more to them, next time I'll try my best.' But of course that never happens.

I'm wasting so much time. No idea what I'm waiting for. That I wake up tomorrow and magically feel all better? No idea…

No. 252645

Something I forgot: many anons on here mention being lonely and write 'My bf is my only friend!'. I wish I had at least one of that, either friends or a bf, but I only have my family. So what is gonna happen when I graduate and have to move out? That makes me so scared…

Also, sorry for the typos.

No. 252656

I'm having such a difficult time writing a personal statement for a course. I've worked before in sales and can sell a product or concept no bother, but when it comes to myself I can't. I'm trying to pursue a career in the biosciences industry and am finishing up my BSc and applying for a Msc. Why is this so hard?

No. 252666

I've suffered from depression for six years now. The level of depression I suffer is pretty extreme, at the worst I experienced extreme depersonalization and started hearing voices in my head. I've for the most part got it under control.

My mother insisted I tried hypnotherapy. I didn't think much of it and just humored her along, saying I'd give it a shot if she thought it would help. She paid for a session and we went. The problem is the session made me extremely angry. We were both present together during the first session and I felt uncomfortable and angry at being pushed to talk about my problems with my parent present…I don't mean to disparage my parent, but my mum has a certain attention seeking problem when it comes to anything medical. She started talking about my problems and how sick my brother was and how that is why this was happening, drinking up the attention as this turned into a 'poor her' moment. I put a stop to it and insisted they remained on topic. I went to the toilet half way through and she chimed in with 'oh he always does this when he is stressed' and laughed about it, I honestly just needed to go. There wasn't any hypnosis during the first visit.

I left feeling angry and drove home in a rage, smashing the steering wheel the entire trip. I rang her and told her I wouldn't go again and would insist on getting her money back. She got angry against me and started going on about how I refuse to get better or try.

I feel fucking stupid for even humoring her. I basically feel unironically triggered anytime I hear anyone mention a sick child because I remember the years of abuse I had to endure with her laughing and bringing to attention my 'autism' and my little brother's illness at social gatherings. One time my little brother burst into tears at a christmas party where mum was joking about how anorexic he was because he didn't eat much (due to the cocktail of drugs she pressured doctors to put him on, mind you, he was a normal kid and didn't at all have ADHD.). The whole family tried explaining it to her then and she didn't get it. I feel fucking stupid for putting myself in this situation.

No. 252673

File: 1527116906983.jpg (197.89 KB, 1305x1305, IMG_6220.JPG)

I don't know what the fuck is going on, but it seems like foundation squeeze tubes are going out of vogue and it's making me so pissed. I hate that pump shit, it's messy, cakes up, gets clogged, and inevitably makes me waste more product than the squeeze tubes. Even brands that I KNOW have squeeze tubes (etc. Nars, Mac) never seem to have them when I'm in the store. I'm just so over this pump trend D:

No. 252694

Yo depression and anxiety and shit like that don’t discriminate. Out-of-whack chemicals can’t be solved by having a good life otherwise and you don’t deserve a less nice life if your brain physically won’t allow you to make the chemicals you need to enjoy anything.

No. 252696

There’s a nest of European wasps somewhere between the shed and the front paddock. They’re such angry little fuckers and I can’t find the nest to poison it. They’re the worst wasps. Paper wasps at least make awesome and collectible nests.

No. 252732

Wow, I'm speechless. Do you ever vist her grave?

No. 252742

I left my job on short notice because I mentally could not handle it anymore. Everyone on management were pieces of shit.
I've been looking for a job all of May and FINALLY thought I was going forward with one until just now when they tell me they need to contact my past employer.

I just want to die. I know it's entirely my fault since I burnt that bridge but I didn't think they'd be contacted. I know for sure those assholes will tell them how much of a terrible employee I am or some bullshit. They lied to me throughout my employment there so I don't doubt they'd lie to my prospective employer.
Now it's back to job searching I guess. fml

No. 252746

Men online are becoming more and more retarded and I when I meet one IRL I have to make a conscious effort to separate him from all the autistic ranting I read online, I might have to back off from male internet spaces for a little while because it's polluting my brain.
And I'm soooo over reading shit like "men have preferences women have requirement".

No. 252752

I don't know how to talk to people. I get nervous at social gatherings and/or when I don't know people. And it gets worse when I fancy them. I get all nervous, stupid and awkward, I feel ridiculous and don't know what to talk about. How can I talk to the guy I secretly like without ruining everything in the first place? I hate my uptight personality so much.

No. 252753

You have to learn how to be comfortable with yourself and accept that even if you try your best to be agreeable and engaging some people might still not like you. I think what people like the most in other is being easy going, curious, open, and they love when you ask them a lot of question about their life, interest, work… People just love talking about themselves a lot. Just have some interesting stuff about you when they turn the questions around and you should have a smooth ride. Treat attractive people like regular people, they aren't special because they were born pretty. Treat people you fancy like regular people too, only cluster b type enjoy being put of a pedestal.

No. 252755

I'm confused as to why you would put them as a reference in the first place? If you leave a job on bad terms you're not supposed to tell a prospective employer about that job.

No. 252761

My ex used to take calls like that for his ex coworkers. They’d just give his number and he’d act all official. No one ever followed up to see if he was a manager. Idk if you could pull the same stunt?

No. 252771

My boyfriend’s sister called me fat in passing today after I was telling her I was trying to get more motivated to exercise more while I’m not in school.

I’m recovering from an eating disorder and I weigh at least 50 lbs less than she does.

No. 252781

I'm really angry at myself. I've always been really careful with my laptop but a few weeks ago I downloaded a program from a website that seemed fine and did a lot of research beforehand to see if it was safe to download and it all seemed good. A few days later this "Chromium" popped up in my programs and I couldn't uninstall it. Kind of just assumed it was something Google automatically installed and ignored it. Another few days pass and my anti virus detects a fucking Trojan. Searched online for ways to uninstall it and tried them all. Every fucking day I feel like I've finally gotten rid of it and then the fucker pops up in my programs again the next day. I'm just so fucking angry I did this to my laptop.

Is there a way I can successfully uninstall this without having to perform a factory reset? I would have asked in the advice thread but it hasn't been posted in for a long time.

No. 252783

Chromium is by Google, anon.

No. 252799

The amount of grown ass men wishing rape and death on a 9 year old girl is making me sick. Lil tay is just an annoying child, she is just a dumb 9 year old. Why would you wish a bbc porn career on a child? Or prostitution?

No. 252802

File: 1527160738738.jpg (110.45 KB, 1480x832, cat-ladies-fallon-tease_btrcde…)

This is probably not worthy of a vent but I ordered cat food and it all arrived well. The thing is that the delivery guy was really my type. Usually, the delivery guys are older men, balding and fat so I don't care about putting up an appearance, but this time I wasn't expecting a delivery this fast so I looked horrible. And just when I looked my worst, this handsome delivery dude, exactly my type, rings my bell. When I saw him through the door glass, I wanted to vomit.

I had stinky old sweatpants and a sweaty shirt from working out, my hair wasn't combed and I had my old librarian glasses on.

I bet he's laughing with his codelivery dude about a crazy stinky cat lady. Fuck.

But you should have seen him, he was exactly my type, he looked like Shaggy from Scooby-Doo just more handsome.

I started autistically screeching after I shut the door and he probably heard it too.

I don't know whether I should order cat food again and dress myself up for the next delivery hoping for the same delivery guy so I can prove that I'm not a crazy stinky cat lady and maybe ask for his number.

No. 252804

Yeah, you're right but apparently it's really easy to modify and considering I didn't install it myself, I can't uninstall it and my anti virus picked up on it being a Trojan, it's definitely not a legit version.

No. 252806

I don't know why people assume underweight people live on salads. I'm getting sick of people telling me to eat a cheese burger, bitch I have eaten cheese burgers everyday this week because I couldn't be fucked to cook. Eating a cheese burger doesn't make you fat. I told a girl at work I was going to mcdonalds and she gave me s look of shock. A quarter pounder combo is 870 calories I'm not going to ballon into a beach whale eating it a few times a week.

No. 252837

File: 1527172865450.gif (1.59 MB, 500x279, IbPGYG0.gif)

>I'm getting sick of people telling me to eat a cheese burger.
>I told a girl at work I was going to mcdonalds and she gave me s look of shock.
So… which one is it?

No. 252843

People telling you to "eat a cheese burger" is a common insult towards smaller people. But I just think that's retarded, eating cheese burgers has nothing to do with gaining weight. She looked shocked because she assumes I only eat kale or some shit and she even made a joke to another coworker who was sitting near by "look she's finally having a cheese burger!". It's not offensive to me, I could careless but it's dumb because people just don't seem understand calories or how they work.

No. 252844

>I don't know why people assume underweight people live on salads.

We don't. We assume you don't eat anything and that's typically on the nose, we just get shocked when you go to places like McDonald's since that's notoriously unhealthy food, and people like you always say or leave the impression that you want to be in toppest health.
People are shocked because you actually did it.

No. 252861

You're probably a teenager or in your early 20s. You won't be able to eat shit like that forever.

No. 252862

that's where you're wrong, kiddo.

No. 252865

I feel you anon, people think I'm on a perpetual diet when I actually eat a bit more than the average women my size and age. I also expect other anons to accuse you of being a humble-bragging ana-chan who looks like a spooky skeleton, but don't listen to them.

No. 252868

But clearly if you're underweight you have a calorie deficit akin to a diet and not like what the average person eats at all. Or else you'd be an average weight.

It's not that anyone thinks you're purposefully being a spoop, you're just in denial about overestimating calories you eat similar to how fatties are in denial about underestimating their calories but claiming they're naturally overweight.

No. 252871

I talked about it in other threads and it's complicated but short answer: I've always been the same weight while eating a lot once I stopped growing up so I don't think my current diet is comparable to the diet of someone who is actively trying to lose weight. I don't know about the OP though.

No. 252877

different and also bmi 21 anon here (inb4 ana-chan) but maybe she just has a fast metabolism? i think it's more common in men though, at work one of my managers eats like an absolute swine, we are talking about takeaway from nextdoor every break and then 3 packs of monster munch, and he is a spindly gangly 37 year old.

No. 252880

Dear skinny anons, I truly believe you (as much as I believe that the opposite exists: women who live very healthily and don't "deserve" being chubby at all, but can't help it).

But being skinny is THE beauty standard in nearly every society on this planet. So having a fast metabolism is something the vast majority (of women) would kill for. You're very, very lucky.
So can you really blame anybody for not being able to sympathize with your vent and not being able to feel sorry for you?
Being told to eat more, etc. is still a billion times better than being fat and all the problems and disadvantages that stem from it.

No. 252881

> women who live very healthily and don't "deserve" being chubby at all, but can't help it

Yupp, that's me.

I'm really jelly of girls with fast metabolism because I know one irl.

However, she desperately wants to put on weight and is taking all sorts of pills. I can't believe the amount of self hate she has for her body. I keep telling her that she is beautiful and that she should be happy that she doesn't need to watch her weight as many women do, but she just keeps saying that she feels unwomanly, unfeminine.

Her body is my goals and she says that for my body. I guess the grass is greener as people say. I hope she stops with the pills though.

No. 252887

>But being skinny is THE beauty standard in nearly every society on this planet.
Isn't it more like being thin/skinny is the beauty standard? Because as a skinny woman I've been told some weird shit about my appearance, like random family friends and relatives thinking I had an eating disorder or telling me to get surgery to get bigger breasts because I'm such a lost cause that I could be reimbursed for it by my health insurance (which is possible actually). People do make the difference between skinny and thin in my experience, kind of how people know there's a difference between being chubby and morbidly obese.

>Being told to eat more, etc. is still a billion times better than being fat and all the problems and disadvantages that stem from it.

If the problems that come with being fat is that people tell you to eat less and make other similar remarks and actions against you then it's the same problem in the first place.

>she desperately wants to put on weight and is taking all sorts of pills.
These pills seem suspicious as fuck. I hope for her they don't have really dangerous side effects or anything like that at the very least.

No. 252889

It doesn't matter what you eat. It doesn't matter if you 1200 calories worth of vegetables or 1200 calories worth of Burger King, you will lose weight. This is why so many normies fail at diets because they force themselves to eat salads etc and give up in a week.

No. 252957

>But being skinny is THE beauty standard in nearly every society on this planet.
>Isn't it more like being thin/skinny is the beauty standard?
Uhm yes, that's exactly what I said lol. But no, I get what you're trying to say. Think of it like this: let's say the ideal BMI is 18, that's not stick thin, but still model-tier. So, even if you have a BMI of 16, which is already dangerous, you're a lot less far away from the ideal than a women who has a BMI of 24 - which isn't even overweight.

Of course some peple will tell you that you look gross if you're too skinny. But the majority only voices some fake concerns like "Eat more!", whereas overweight people are much more likely to get bullied as children, have disadvantages while applying for jobs, having problems finding a partner, and so on. You can easily mask if youre a little to bony, but nothing can magic away extra pounds.

And let's be honest, would you rather have people telling you to eat a burger and some petty women being jealous or have people snicker behind you're back and call you a disgusting landwhale, etc. Just look at how it is on this site: even if it's totally unrelated, you're always immediately called a fatty.

I have a friend who also always got the ana comments, but now she loves her weight. She eats everything she wants, can enjoy her life, she fits into everything and many guys simply are really into very thin girls.
Whereas fat girls might fight all their life against their weight, always have to hold back, feel limited in what they can wear blah blah.
At least you can eat to your hearts content, imagine being unhappy with your body AND not being allowed to eat.

No. 253007

Personally I'd ghost him and never look back after a comment like that, but I have zero tolerance for even the suggestion of violence.

Hope you're doing okay anon.

No. 253053

File: 1527248768517.jpg (113.26 KB, 865x1300, 31752984-handsome-captain-sea-…)

Going to an event were there'll be a bunch of hot chads dressed like pic related. I'm desperate for a good dicking so wish me luck!

No. 253057

Over 2 months sober from weed and I'm so fucking bored. I decided to get all my shit ready so I can go to uni. I am 28 and working part time and all I want to do is blow my money on fillers and drugs. I'm so bored. Even after I complete a degree, then what? I crave a friend to hang out with that I can just do normal shit with but all the people that have been in my life are borderline psychos, 3 of which have taken money from me. All I do is save and clean the house and try to be not depressed or whinge around my boyfriend who is lovely but also ultra conservative. I just want a friend that is fun to chat to. I'm good at listening and I always shout people lunch or whatever, I try my best to look my best, I exercise and watch lots of movies/memes to relate to people. I'm just so fucking lonely and I want drugs or a friend that wont use me.

No. 253059

What do you even have a boyfriend for if he's not your best friend and not fun/lovely to be around with? Blows my mind.

No. 253062

We have fun together. Often during the week though, he likes his space, I meant more like another girl I could hang with and do things. My boyfriend likes different video games and movies to me and obviously doesn't give a shit about makeup and outfits ect. I have no issues with my boyfriend, I just want a friend.

No. 253086

>obviously doesn't give a shit about makeup and outfits ect

lol my bf does and other of my friend's bfs do.

No. 253098

fag nu-males

No. 253105

Okay good for you. I'm trying to vent okay? If I wear something nice or different my boyfriend will say, 'that's a lovely dress/shirt/whatever'
I have spoken to him about makeup before and he tries to listen, but he doesn't understand it and I'm not going to talk to him for an hour about cosmetics and skin care brands. He's not a dick, as I stated before, he's lovely. I just want a female friend that's all. My sisters are both married with kids and are busy with their lives and some of my other female friends have kids now too. The only ones that ever contact me usually want something or to borrow something.
Like I stated in my first post borderline types.

No. 253139

They probably suck each others dicks too.

No. 253140

>all I want to do is blow my money on fillers and drugs.
>all the people that have been in my life are borderline psychos
Huh, I wonder why you don't have friends… of course everyone else is the problem

No. 253217

File: 1527274141619.jpg (300.77 KB, 580x830, 1511173540967.jpg)

During the last two or so months I had been thinking about lewd stuff and love so much more than usual.
I don't know why it is happening but I can feel it poisoning my mind already. Like it's took a hit on my productivity and more.
I feel like my puberty is late or something because I never felt like this before. At least not so regularly.

No. 253243

Wait I meant more like being thin/average and NOT skinny, I don't know how I typed that lmfao. But you understood what I meant so whatever.
>So, even if you have a BMI of 16, which is already dangerous, you're a lot less far away from the ideal than a women who has a BMI of 24 - which isn't even overweight.
I think having a BMI of 24 is more common than 16. So some people will find a woman with a BMI of 16 harder to look at I think, if we're talking about this specific example. But that's just one example.
>And let's be honest, would you rather have people telling you to eat a burger and some petty women being jealous or have people snicker behind you're back and call you a disgusting landwhale, etc. Just look at how it is on this site: even if it's totally unrelated, you're always immediately called a fatty.
Both seem equally bad. Even though I'm skinny I don't fit in the standard of beauty at all for a bunch of reasons not related to weight and that I can't even potentially change so I've never had anyone be jealous of me and I used to be bullied as a kid too for these things because children are horrible. I think it'd be more accurate to take other criteria into account when talking about specific people so here I'm talking about myself as I can't speak of others but I really can't relate to anything you say about skinny women even though they do apply to SOME skinny women.
>Whereas fat girls might fight all their life against their weight, always have to hold back, feel limited in what they can wear blah blah.
That's just how you feel (general you here). Tell others to fuck off if you can, it's none of their business in the first place. Believe me it will feel good.

No. 253254

Four and a half years ago I had two excision surgeries to remove a breast cancer tumor. As a result that breast, which was already smaller, is now half the size of the other. It is a D cup with a deeply recessed crater of a scar while the other is a full F. I cannot find any bras that fit, so I go without. My clothes fit terribly. I have had to abandon half my wardrobe when before I used to design and make clothing. The heavier breast exacerbates my scoliosis and the existing disc and nerve problems in my neck and shoulder.

I could pursue breast reduction, but I am afraid of further surgeries. I had a bad post-op infection and hematoma after the second excision. I am also afraid of taking opioids after surgery. I had developed a hardcore addiction to them after being on them for over three years straight.

I have also been avoiding my follow up mammograms. I have only gone for one when I am supposed to go yearly.

My ovaries were removed as part of my treatment. The sudden loss of hormones has aged my body and altered my identity. There is an immense emptiness where my physical, intellectual, and emotional passions used to be. My pervading mood is Fuck It. Fuck It All.

Sometimes I hope the cancer comes back and kills me.

No. 253296

my boyfriend didn’t do anything for my birthday. It’s not like they’re a big thing for me, and I wasn’t expecting a big surprise, but so far he wished me happy birthday today… and that’s it. I know gifts aren’t everything, and I appreciate him a lot. I just feel really disappointed.

No. 253307

I'm quite capable of going without drugs, I just want them at the moment, because I am bored. The fillers have been a recent craving due to self esteem. I'm not a crazy druggy that ends friendships. I have friends, just not ones where we can hang out during the week. I didn't mean EVERYONE else was the problem, just the people that want to hang out more frequently tend to be types that use me in between their new relationships. As I mentioned before, 3 have used me for money. My first post was scattered and erratic because I wrote it on break at work, but I thought this was a vent thread.

No. 253308

Also you can partake in drug use and cosmetic fillers without being borderline. I said I want to spend my money on that, not I do

I save my money every pay and spend my days cleaning, the vent was implied that I want to do something fun for myself or I want a stable friend to hang out with on the days that I am not working, NOT including my boyfriend.

I already have hobbies like painting and I go running every 3 days.

No. 253334

Girl, you don't have to trip over yourself to defend a guy like that. Even if gifts aren't his thing, he should've done something homemade for you, or went out for a special event with you. Is this a recurring theme? and have you talked to him about it?

No. 253337

Anon I am so sorry you're going through these intensely painful times. I can't offer much more than random internet good vibes but I truly hope things get better for you.

No. 253358

>Also you can partake in drug use and cosmetic fillers without being borderline
Normal people don't crave those things. But I guess you think you're perfect.

No. 253376

I never said I was normal. It would be nice to have a female friend to smoke a joint with now and then. I also never claimed to be perfect, I was just stating that I am not borderline. I am self aware and like I said, none of my friendships have ended destructively, my older female friends and sisters have moved on with children and family duties. I'm not saying I'm perfect, I mentioned my exercise routine, and hobbies on top of my education to explain that I am not an unstable person and that the drugs are not a reflection of the person that I am. Maybe craving drugs to cure boredom is unhealthy, but I am definitely not borderline, nor am I perfect.

No. 253377

It's quite normal for people to want cosmetic fillers, it doesn't make you not normal. Drugs and alcohol are destructive if not in moderation, but wanting fillers is common. Especially for women this day and age. Get the stick out of your ass anon.

No. 253379

And the borderline psychos I am referring to are the ones that want to contact me. The friends that I actually want to spend time with have moved away or have kids now.
Just to clarify.

No. 253406

I smoke weed with my bestie when she comes into town and nobody would describe either of us as "borderline."
Although I can't speak on the matter of cosmetic fillers.

I think it's sad how you can't fathom that normal people smoke weed like how normal people like to indulge in alcohol, cigarettes, etc.

No. 253432

Maybe if you're really insecure and hate yourself it's normal, but I don't know why you want to be like that.

Enjoying getting drunk regularly isn't normal, and smoking cigarettes definitely isn't normal unless you want cancer.

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