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Last thread >>239880
Be sad here
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Sometimes I am happy that I am not as ugly as say, a Slaton sister or Shaygnar or whatever, but then I remember I am just a few levels above. I hate PCOS and I hate society for making me believe I should be pretty above all else. I was such a happy kid.
I want to have real friends but I have no idea how to make those outside school. I kind of regret I didn't learn how to make and keep friends in a healthy way in my teens but fuck I can't really blame myself for being emotionally stunted.
At least I'm going to therapy now, so let's see if that helps.
Feeling lonely sucks ;_;
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I miss my ex-boyfriend even though we were absolute garbage to eachother.
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I wish I could just buy a boyfriend.
I'd pay someone to pretend to be my bf just like an escort then take him to meet my parents and friends, take some pics together to prove my 'taken' status and never actually having to do anything.
I've never felt like having a relationship or cared about sex all that much, the reason I want a bf is because I care a lot about what people think and I'm just tired of being hit on and disrespected by men. Thinking about being with guys I know make me physically cringe tho, I'm not attracted to women either.
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My ex was garbage and I miss them so much.
It's such a melancholic feeling, I have no clue why I want them at all, they ruined me.
It's sort of funny too, whenever they wont leave my head I just watch NGE.
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My boyfriend's family's super disorganized and tend to just plan shit a few days before and make him go. For example, we were supposed to go to a con together with a bunch of my other friends and suddenly his family decides to go on a three-week trip to BC. I get that you might not have much choice when you're still living with them but it was real annoying to hear. I'm still going to enjoy my time with friends but uuuugh.
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I want to finally slowly start outing myself to my friends and family as lesbian and how I have loving gf and how precious she is to me, just like everyone does it.
Only worry is my mother who thinks having gay child is disgrace and failure as a mother. Like it would be starting a war with her and probably her side of family avoiding me, but I don't even really care I am not even close in any way with them, seeing them once a year.
I was angry when I wrote my original post but I've calmed down now and realize it's not such a big deal. We're going to just start the party without him but hold off on the cake until he gets home.
I guess I was more annoyed by the fact that this is a recurring problem with him, like for example he never wants to reserve anything or buy tickets beforehand for anything because he's always changing his plans on the go. Whereas I'm a bit of a control freak and prefer to make reservations whenever possible even when they're not required. Plus I always end up having to wait for him because he's always like "this'll take 5 minutes" and it'll always take like 45 minutes… he sometimes makes our friends wait too which I hate even more, like I start to feel embarrassed as if it's my fault… bleh.
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Living with my bf is like living with a teenager when it comes to chores and domestic responsibilities. The only thing I can say for him is that he pays rent on time and does his own laundry sometimes without my asking–although the loads occupy the machines for days.
I can't rely on him to tidy, clean, or do anything else without a prompt. And sometimes even when I ask he half asses things.
>I'll do it later.
>I did it already (no)
>It didn't look that bad to me
These sound like passive aggressive excuses teenagers make to get their parents to do their chores.
Today I woke up and the kitchen was absolutely skanky.
I fell asleep on the couch, but bf stayed up to play video games until at least 6am.
Did he use any of that time to do dishes or even put away condiments from dinner? N-O.
He left it knowing I would do it.
Uncapped condiment bottles, trash not taken out, unwashed cookware and utensils, unran dishwasher, filthy counters, filthy stovetop, unswept floor, part of the fridge that he broke off days ago still lying about, rotting leftovers bf said he'd eat, and the list goes on.
I'm a very clean person and bf knows this shit triggers me. Foolishly, I used to try cleaning everyday but it just caused me to have a mental breakdown cause the place would be pigged up by the next day anyway. So I try not to be a "nag"; letting the place go for a day or two but by a couple days of being cool I expect cleaning shit to be together. But no. Obviously this doesn't work out 9 times out of 10.
So I spent my entire morning cleaning before work.
To be clear–if I was some spoilt bitch who stayed at home and spent hubby's paychecky I might be okay with being his maid. However I work 40 hours, and would like to actually relax when I'm home but I digress…
I had to touch, handle, and smell such gross shit that I was cussing a storm while doing so all out of frustration. Bf heard me but didn't come into the kitchen until 1pm because he knew the state had pissed me off.
When he finally came in I had a loud, angry tone towards him. I told him to take out the trash and scrub the bin with bleach because it was nasty from him having put garbage in there (""""accidentally"""") without a liner and ignoring it.
He said "Well you don't have to yell."
He doesn't have to spend every waking moment at home playing video games!!
In fact, he could proactively help out by doing small tasks and chores so things don't buildup so badly in the first place!
I should have said that but all I could think to reply with was to not invalidate my feelings by policing my tone.
My mother would have HAD MY ASS if I so much as left a dish in the sink, and then have an attitude about her scolding me? I would have been dead where I stood.
I hate how he takes such a victim stance when I'm rightfully angry and he's too uncomfortable to admit he's wrong. He does the task but never apologizes for what this shit does to me mentally. Then he tries to butter me up and get touchy with me after but I get too disgusted because I know that's all manipulation.
I just hate it. Our relationship would be fine otherwise if he was motivated and not a slob with excuses.
Your boyfriend sounds like my ex-fiancé. Apparently I was the biggest nag because I found filth triggering
and wasn't impressed that he emptied the bins once every 2 weeks. Either get him on board with pulling his weight or ditch him he sounds incredibly selfish and immature. You'll be stuck being his mother. For 2 years my ex was unemployed and sat all day while I was at work for 40 hours a week playing video games. Never once did I come home to a prepared meal or a tidy home. Most days he would go to his ma's for lunch and only return home when he knew I was in. At the weekends when I finally had free time he would arrange trips away camping with his mates 'for a break'. I dumped him in 2014 and he still hasn't got a decent job and lives at his parents. I doubt he is ever going to move out.
My boyfriend and his sister are very close, and honestly, when they are together they can be pretty mean. It's mostly his sister.
I guess sometimes our personalities don't match. She's incredibly outward and aggressive, and very self-centered. I'm very passive. There's a lot of little things that get between us. She can often be very harsh with me and it hurts my feelings, but I can't confront her about it because I'm afraid of her (she tends to be very confrontational and is not opposed to yelling at people and insulting them all in the name of "honesty". So I tend to talk about my feelings to my boyfriend, and he often isn't much help because he doesn't know how to talk about feelings. So usually I end up feeling stuck and alone. I don't want to bad-mouth his sister but I don't know what to do about it.
Today, I wasn't feeling well so I sent them a message that I was sorry I couldn't go out with them tonight, and that I just wanted to let them know I love them and care about them very much. They completely ignored my message and just went on talking. I felt pretty bad about it and said that to my boyfriend. He brushed me off and said that they are just not "emotionally receptive". Am I crazy that it's pretty rude to not say anything back to a person when they tell you they care about you? Or am I just blowing everything out of proportion?
I know this seems overblown, but there are a lot of little things every day like this that drive me crazy. I am currently organizing a first meeting with a therapist because I can't seem to regulate my emotions and I want to learn more positive coping mechanisms. They make me feel like a crazy person, to be perfectly honest, and are the main reason why I'm seeking a therapist.
I could feel my emotions rising after I talked to my bf and I got mad and was pretty passive aggressive about tonight. I feel bad for being passive aggressive, but I don't know how to apologize when I'm still upset. I want to tell my boyfriend I'm sorry, but I'm not sure how. I am currently just not touching my phone because I don't want to talk to him while I'm still mad. I am nervous they are talking badly about me behind my back right now and I don't know what to do.
Unfortunately, men (and just people in general) expect others to be their maids. It's not only just our boyfriends/fiances/husbands; lazy people will expect you to clean up after them, and will act like you are an insane, raging harpy because you spend every waking moment cleaning up their filth and have the audacity
to ask them to lend a hand with it.
I really believe it's just that people who developed good cleaning habits and a strong sense of ethic will be exploited and manipulated by people who would willingly live in pig stys, if they were so allowed. Ever since I moved out at 18, I have been the "maid" of the house. My mother and father instilled in me the importance of cleanliness; not only for health and hygiene, but also if you keep things clean and well cared for, they will last longer and you will save money. So when I began living with people whose mothers cleaned up after them their whole lives (or just never bothered to make them do chores,) I ended up picking up all the slack.
It's physically and mentally exhausting to constantly pick up after the people around you, and receive not thanks but spite. I can't believe that my roommates would constantly complain about me having to move the chairs to sweep, or that I would take dirty dishes from around the house to clean them. I have given up on asking for help, even from my boyfriend. I feel so defeated.
I know this isn't helpful to either of you, but just know that you are not alone in your struggle. I have so much more empathy for my mom now.
Stepping back from the situation, I think I am honestly a little crazy. I think I'm emotionally unstable and I really don't want to be.
I just emailed the therapist I want to work with. I truly don't want to be such a crazy piece of garbage. I need to be better than this.
Fuck anon, I'm sorry you went through that nonsense. The part about him going camping with his mates for a "break" is the worst–like bitch, break from what
you don't work! Lol.
Although mine acts eerily similar. Every moment he's not at work he's either plopped in front of the tv/phone with games, or he's out with his friends drinking, trivia, and/or karaoke.
I mean if I asked him to cancel his plans for time with me he would, but of course that still makes me look bad and controlling.
I just don't know what these men are trying to escape from exactly? I'd be more understanding if he worked a super demanding job, with long hours, and had a lot of extraneous responsibilities outside work.
But he's a bartender at a restaurant and sometimes doesn't work a full 40 a week. If he feels under pressure then I don't know where the fuck from that's so unusual from what I, or any other normal person, feels. Yet I still manage to not be messy as do most other people.
I think this anon >>249183
is on to something about lazy people always finding someone to low key manipulate.
Anyway, I know there's not really a lot of answers to my situation but it makes me feel better to know I'm not alone in all this. I thank you for the replies, I feel a bit less bad now.
I don't think you're crazy anon. Being someone who's extremely passive myself, I can understand why you're hurt by their actions.
I don't think it's fair for your boyfriend to not care about your feelings just because it's his sister.
There was no reason to ignore you and brush off your feelings because they're "not emotionally receptive". That's bullshit and you're not crazy for thinking that they were rude, because they were. It sounds like they just use that as an excuse because they're assholes who don't give a shit and don't want to change.
A therapist will be good, especially since you said you were feeling very alone. Hopefully they can help you with the problems you're facing, and I hope your boyfriend and his sister can realize that they hurt you and apologize. I'd keep pushing how you feel, because he needs to recognize that he either treats you with respect and acts like he gives a shit, or you should leave and find someone who won't make you feel alone.
Also, don't apologize. You're not the one who should.
Thanks for your response, anon. It feels better to have someone who understands.
He sent me a message saying he was sorry that he hurt my feelings and he feels terrible that I feel so sad sometimes, and asked what he could do to help me. He's generally sweet and tries to see my side of things. I think he's just a bit emotionally stupid.
I don't think his sister will apologize, though. She does stuff like be rude or hurtful to me often and she's never apologized. (Most of the girls in our friend group are like this, and it makes me feel very awkward.)
It's nice to know that someone else doesn't think I'm crazy. I honestly think that it's mostly his sister who I have the most problems with. She's so aggressive and competitive and she usually talks to me like she's talking down to me. I really want to be her friend, but it's been difficult.
Even one of my other friends has told me that she acts very strangely around me and my boyfriend; my friend said she noticed that every time my bf gave me attention, his sister would pull him away and try to get him to pay attention to her instead. It's a very weird thing and I don't understand how to deal with her.
Thanks for telling me I should keep pushing my feelings. It's really hard for me to think I deserve to be respected and treated like I matter by anyone.
I'm sorry, I know I'm rambling. This is why I'm seeking therapy, haha. There's so much going on in my head and it's hard to put together. Thanks again, anon.
I'm anon that dumped fiancé do not feel sad for me. I moved on and got a place for myself and met a man that lives by himself and knows how to clean. We've been dating over 3 years and it's honestly so refreshing to not resent your partner. He even makes me dinner and gives me massages when I'm stressed.
Don't settle for selfish people they'll just fuck up your head.
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Welp, stayed up all night watching weight loss youtube videos.
It got me browsing through my folders of old cell phone pictures I saved from 2014-2016.
I was 100 pounds lighter then. Super active, I ran and went to the gym regularly. I never ate because I was happy and not stressed. I had just spent the previous two years losing 80 pounds. Also finished my grad program and had a lot of hope, a lot of free time too.
A couple years and a soul-suckin', sedentary job later, mixed with some depression and anger, and I'm saying hello to the obesity train again. Toot toot.
I think I've lost a collective total of ~400 pounds throughout my life and I've rebounded every pound and then some.
The sad part is recalling how I thought of myself at the time when the old photos were taken. l remember thinking I was a fat sack of shit and being so self-conscious, when undeniably it was my peak. I was healthy. I had no logical reason to feel that negatively, and now I wish I could go back to that tomorrow. But I can't, it's too late and now any progress will take another series of years.
Yet it's getting to the point where I'm miserable, again, and hate how I look, again, and facing the choice of either losing weight or committing sudoku…again. There really isn't a choice unless I wanna say 'fuck everything' and wind up on My 600 Pound Life eventually.
I downloaded the myfitness app again, but I still hate myself. It all feels like a silly game that I play myself with.
Maybe I'd feel less lonely and hopeless if I had a solid support system. Or maybe a fellow fattie to talk to?
Bf acts indifferent about my weight because he loves me, but doesn't try to actively be sexual with me anymore unless he comes home plastered, which I refuse. And I mean, I feel gross naked regardless of the fluff he tells me.
My parents are both overweight since they've quit smoking cigs, but they're trying to get better too. They mean well, but they don't set good examples and they always downplay my feelings about my weight because they're christian and think that looks don't matter. Whilst society and life screams at my face that looks do matter.
At that–I'm the only one in the family that's ever lost a significant amount of weight so there's no advice they could give me. They actually believe in a lot of myths.
Friends (esp people who first knew me when I was thin after weight loss) have ghosted me these days. Mostly because I shut myself in the apartment when I'm not at work, and my no-life work schedule makes that easier to achieve. A friend of mine tried to make me feel better and told me how I'm such a nice person and great friend, because when she first met me I was "so pretty" that she thought I was mean and stuck up. It's well-intentioned, but I couldn't help but smirk at the backhanded implication that I was no longer pretty and thus she felt less threatened around me. Ouch.
Other times I get unsolicited advice or weird fad bullshit, "Hey anon, try these pills that make you shit to lose weight!" All I can do is meekly say t-thanks lest I look like an ungrateful, know it all fatty fatso.
I know how to lose weight and I know what to do.
I just hate myself too much. Maybe subconsciously I'm not convinced I'm worth it. Maybe I can't deal with stress and how my life's turned out career-wise so I binge eat to feel better.
I'm not sure.
Oh anon, I have been struggling with weight as well lately. I managed to lose weight around 2011 and stayed like this until 2015. After that, everything basically went to shit. I didn't gain toomuch, but it's noticeable and it makes me feel very, very bad about myself. I started trying to lose it but it's hard. All these years, I stopped eating when I was stressed, and now… I suddenly started eating because it helped me coping. Not good.
It's a shitty thing that your friend said. It's not good for you to stay in the apartment all day. It's also because your fridge and all your food is there too. I tend to overeat when I stay at home. I don't know how the weather conditions in your region are, but have you tried playing PoGo? It helped me shed weight and was a good and fun way to go out. I even met some people through it.
On a rampage there, aren't ya?
I hope that's a joke. I can't word it right but i'm just trying to say that these anons are being killed by kindness, but that kindness is really more like ?? I dunno? what is the point of the relationship between the fat anon and her partner who isn't attracted to her anymore? where can it go? Why did the other anon support her bf for two years while he wasn't working or doing any cleaning? I'm not jealous I'm completely bemused by the relationships described on this site that persist because people forget themselves.>>249240
this anon's bf is too scared to dump her but she should dump him and realise she's got a life that's her responsibility and reward
I agree, you have horrible articulation.
Secondly, there's absolutely no reason to call or assume anon's relationship is "loveless."
You honed in on two sentences about anon's relationship out of that entire vent, and then made up a conspiracy about how guys are only around women to covertly destroy their persons. How does that
make sense? And that's a whole lotta assumption regardless.>What's there to a relationship if you don't have sex?
You're more entertaining than you think, anon. Maybe when you grow up you'll find the answers to these questions instead of being edgy on lolcow.
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My bf is Chinese-Canadian and my mom is flipping a tit because "they make terrible husbands" and "who knows what kind of diseases they may have". Somehow I'm not surprised, but it's 2018 and she defends Muslims all the fucking time yet says shit like this.
>>249312>what kind of diseases they may have
Like, STI's or hereditary diseases? Either way that's ridiculous.
Sorry for you, anon.
Hey dickface, I can tell you why I stayed with someone for 2 years while he was a lazy cunt. Because I had to keep on top of my job, be social with my friends and family. It's exhausting dealing with someone so selfish and lazy that sometimes it was easier to just get on with life than completely uproot all our foundations (we were engaged planning for a future, at one point we were obviously in love).
Perhaps if you didn't have such a toxic mindset you could get close to a person and figure out that normal people are empathetic and give others chances.
Are you also bemused I started dating someone not selfish, who has a high paying engineer job and cooks me dinner and cleans after himself? Guess since I'm not a piece of shit I was able to naturally move on and find someone better for me. I guess experiences are really important, hopefully you'll have at least one fling before you die alone.
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I used to be the smartest kid in my class, from elementary school all the way to high school and I have an IQ above 130. But that doesn't mean anything anymore, because I'm in fucking medschool and even though my dream is to become a child psychiatrist it's destroying my life.
I had to do my first year twice (which is common in my country, because that first year is hell on earth with only a 15% success rate) and it's like it's blasted my brains. Ever since, I've had an awful time focusing on things. I've been suffering from depression for now almost 3 years and it's driving me insane. I'm currently in my second 3rd year because I missed too many finals the first time. I got in a psych ward earlier this year and while it helped me not killing myself, it didn't do much more. I feel like a disgusting slug unable to study for more than 1 hour a day and it's stressing me the fuck out. Plus my dad says I'm going to be expelled if I cant study more (which is false, thank god my uni is not that harsh, but is still awful to hear everyday).
I work at the hospital 3 mornings per week. While my patients usually like me, I can never get along with my classmates and I don't know how to make friends. The only friends I have live 700 km away from me.
I don't know what to do anymore. It feels like my brain is nothing more than scrambled eggs and I feel like neither my psychiatrist and therapist understand how much pain I'm in. I don't want to end it? I just don't want to suffer anymore.
The people who think of themselves as progressive are usually super closet racists.
Just remember, it's not her boyfriend, as much as she will try to tell you otherwise.
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It's gonna be ramadan soon. It sucks because while I'm north African and living in Europe, I never considered myself Muslim but everyone assume I am, so a lot of Muslims are going to ask me why I'm not fasting, or will yell at me if I don't fast, or even insult me or threaten me if I eat in public. It's going to be annoying at best, and since these assholes just dont know how to mind their own business and think asking very personal questions is polite and good small talk, they'll maybe try to ask me about things like if I'm not fasting because I'm on my period or if I have health problems, and if so, what those problems could be, etc. It'll be a pain in the ass because during that time I'll either work and I'll have to eat during breaks or I'll be on holidays and I'll want to go out with friends and maybe go to restaurants. I don't know if anyone here will be in that situation too, if so then complain with me, I feel like I'm the only one in that situation sometimes.
At work there are a lot of moderate Muslims who will fast, so I'm sure they will be awful at work because of the heat, the fatigue and the fact that they won't eat and drink all day long, so it'll be even worse than the previous years too, now that I think about it. I hope nobody will pass out because of their stupid behavior.
Anon I'm on my mobile but I just wanted to say thanks for being so understanding earlier.
Today is a better day, I was in quite a state last night.
So far I haven't logged any calories, cause I'm genuinely not that hungry, and took some vitamins.
I legit asked myself if I was actually hungry instead of eating just cause I'm used to it.
I'm gonna try to break my stress eating habit. I've decided that instead of heading to the drive thru to binge on fast food when I get time off my shift, I'm going to go to the nearby park. To read, walk, whatever.
I'm there right now but I'm contemplating it because it's 90 degrees today with high humidity lol. Either way it's better than stuffing my face like usual I guess.
I love cooking and I make a lot of Korean food. I'm going to have leftover pork wraps for dinner but keep it at a reasonable portion. It's sliced, braised pork belly that you wrap in a lettuce/sesame leaf and dunk in a chili garlic sauce. It's super delicious. Myfitness app actually has my calorie budget waaaaay higher than I expected, and I think I can best it and then some. So far so good.
I'd like to post again in another month. Maybe in the fitness thread next time around!
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Oh god, the guy I desperately want to fuck asked me to linger at the store he works and I feel like I was super awkward with him even though he was really nice. It's just such a weird situation for a number of factors.
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i feel you. I'm in my 5th and final year of my clinical psychology PhD and I feel like its destroyed my personality and brain.
I'm a chronic, really really bad procrastinator. Like only start a project/task at the last possible second, do a adrenaline-fueled panic work marathon, and turn things in literally one minute before they're due. OR if I don't make the deadline I lie my ass off and get away with turning it in late. It's embarrassing and I hate myself for it.
Soooo, now I'm finishing up my dissertation and doing the exact same thing. I left everything til the last minute and I don't know how to do/write about some of the stats shit that I need to. I'm totally fucked. I need to defend if in the next month if I'm going to graduate on time…lol…
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Dumb rant but I'm conflicted and sad
So a couple years back this girl in our friendship group made it clear she had issues with me and didn't like me, some of our friends always believed it was out of jealousy because she tried to turn people against me over it
Fast forward a few years and I've made some really good friends through college and she is also friends with them so we talk it over and she apologises and we "resolve" it
However, she is really strange about it. She'll be really lovely to me but also it feels like she always has to one-up me at everything. If I make a joke, she'll have to say it but louder until someone laughs and says she's so funny. If I start dressing or doing my makeup and hair a certain way she'll do the exact same. Her hair is dyed the color that mine is naturally as well now. Hell, even on social media she seems to feel the need to outdo me because as soon as I took a profile picture in a pose that got a lot of compliments she deleted her old one, took a new one in the same pose except with a bunch of Snapchat filters to try and be more extra and then said we matched but she said it in a sort of smug way and it was weird.
I also know how she treats people behind closed doors as she is ever so lovely to this one guy she lives with in public but then messages him bullying him in private (he has shown me these messages and her usual tone of uwu is completely abandoned)
I want to believe that this time round we are friends and I do like her despite this weird copying thing because I assume it's an insecurity and we've had some pretty deep talks about that, but it is still a bit worrying because of the past. She says she's different now but then if we talk and we aren't around other friends of ours I feel like she avoids me.
I don't know how to take her copying me either, it's flattering that she finds my style and aesthetic and even my personality and humor nice but it's also really not fun when she has to parade it about like it's hers and use it for attention and validation
I like her and I think she is much better than she gives herself credit for and I want us to be friends but it reminds me of high school when this girl I knew then would go to even further efforts to copy me and it turned out she was using me so my worries about this are a bit magnified
I don't want to hurt or upset her but I don't want to make effort if the truth is she genuinely dislikes me and is just being kind to me for the sake of being polite
Why is America like this?
I would look at it through the lens of her having insecurities.
Clearly she's jealous of you, anon. Now that doesn't mean she hates you, but in her mind she's telling herself she can't measure up to you and I'm sure that harbors some conflicting, sour feelings even though that's not your fault. I say that because if she hated you she wouldn't want to imitate you and be like you–but that part is just my tinfoil.
Don't beat yourself up or preoccupy your mind with her as if there's any way to fix what's going on in other peoples' heads.
Keep a healthy distance from her, but be friendly and cordial as being nice doesn't require much effort. Maybe over time she'll learn to trust you and treat you as less of a rival.
And if she doesn't? That's fine too. It would be no skin off your bones because you'd walk away with knowing you treated her nicely even if she chose not to accept your friendship.
One thing I wouldn't do is confront her about it directly, she may see that as aggression and get defensive. It could ruin the process is all I'm saying.
I've been trying to look at it that way too, and maybe this is from my own idiocy or insecurities but what I don't understand is why she'd be jealous of me- she's taller than me and I'm short and people think I'm really cute but I don't feel that pretty and I am incredibly awkward at times. Sorry if that is self-centered to wonder!
In the past, she decided within a week that she wanted the friends I was making to not like me, to me that definitely meant she disliked me. She got really funny about one friend being my friend and would get jealous about that so she'd do all she could to make that friend stay away from me.
I couldn't confront her on it, I want her to be happy, but it is frustrating when she has to bring any attention to her as soon as anyone in the room is listening to me or talking to me.
>>249450>but what I don't understand is why she'd be jealous of me
Maybe that's your own insecurities talking lol. Who knows, maybe you have a style, quality, or look that's admirable in her eyes?
But don't worry anon, I ask myself the same questions about some of the girls who were jealous of me too.
Jealousy is a really strange thing and it makes people do some harsh things. Maybe she felt like she would lose friends to you, so she did those mean things out of desperation.
Either way I know where you're coming from and these situations are always really frustrating and tricky to handle. I empathize.
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Low key I'm sad that my boyfriend's family is…frankly, scummy.
I was the only child and I don't have an extended family, so whoever I dated I always wanted to get along with their parents/siblings just so I could feel more connected.
Bf's lived with me ever since we first met yet I've never once met his mother.
His father died of Parkinson's at a young age. The father came from a distinguished family and never married his mother it's not a secret that he stuck his dick in her crazy and the pregnancy was accidental but she kept bf as a money ticket as she would with his sisters that she birthed from different men. The father's side of the family was completely estranged from my bf as a result.
The first year I was with bf, I was supposed to meet his mother during a holiday at her house. I drove 3 hours out there with bf in tow only for her to refuse us coming over last minute because she decided her son had said something to hurt her feelings about money she owed him. She ruined my holiday and it forced me to drive 3 hours back the same day in snow.
She's never once reached out to me even though she knows who I am on facebook. She's intellectually stunted, so if her son makes her feel inferior by just using long words, I unintentionally would too. She's extremely jealous of her own son and is upset that he's made more of himself. She especially dislikes how I have given him a great life and that he has a great relationship with my parents. My parents are almost like surrogates to him, really.
His sisters are kinda shit too.
One is a morbidly obese single mother of two on welfare. She's jealous of us and has made no effort to develop a relationship with me whatsoever. She gets on my nerves because she calls bf whenever she wants to stick her toddler in front of the camera and beg for our money.
She's an emotional manipulator and a person who makes shit decisions. I don't respect her at all.
The other is younger and definitely the smartest of the two. Smart in that I believe she's the only one besides bf to have graduated high school, and she's trying to escape her situation of poverty.
Her answer to the latter is traveling around the country to hook up with men she met online to date/live with them.
I give her a break on that because the truth is she's just trying to escape her circumstances in the only way she knows how.
What irritates me about her is that she tries to use us too. Bf told me yesterday that she had asked him to pick her up at our local airport (not to visit us, we are but the taxi service) and drive her to the train station so she could be en route to the man she's seeing. By that she meant I needed to drive her, it's my car, and hahahaha no.
None of his family ever visits. The rest of his family ignores him no matter how much he reaches out because they're neurotic recluses. Bf's always the one having to travel to see the sisters, and he uses my job perk to get a plane ticket to do so. There's just no effort on their part whatsoever. They don't even send him cards for his birthday or holidays.
It amazes me that he came from such shit people tbh. Makes me sad too though, they're no boon to my life either.
Thanks anon. Because of my name and my looks I definitely look North African (though some people think I'm métisse because of my family name, which is weird because I don't look like one) but even my sisters get rude comments from gossipy Muslims and they look like they're White girls and have common first name for French girls, just less often. Good luck to you too, just in case.>but having grown in a place with many North Africans, aka "la téci", I know how they can be in regards to enforcing their Muslim social norms
I bet some of them are the kind of guys who actually don't do anything they're supposed to as Muslims, the kind of guys who smoke, drink, party, insult everyone, etc. but they don't eat pork and fast for ramadan so they think it's all good and they feel like they can call women who don't fast whores.
A bit of a weird rant, but I'm so fucking scared about going to my gyno, since it always hurts like hell. The second time I went I even bled afterwards and felt like peeing constantly (I'm still a virgin, so it's quite clear why the blood…)
I would stop going, but I also always get very sick when on my period, so i need the pill.
Since I've never had sex before I always thought that I might have vaginismus or some shit, but a couple days ago my mother told me that her friend stopped going to the same doc after just one visit because it hurt her too much. That friend is in her 40s and she's had 2 kids, so if even she's in pain, it's quite natural that i'm too.
However, today i got a letter from my gyno saying i haven't had my yearly exam yet. What doctor sends you a letter because of that?! I wanted to try and find a new one, but now it seems like i have to got to her one more time, I honestly feel like crying…
Dude, just because you got a letter doesn't mean you HAVE to go. Can't you get the pill from your primary doctor instead? You don't need a fucking vaginal exam to get the pill. Plus, I'm assuming you're young, you don't need to be checked every time.
And yeah, if it hurts, try going elsewhere,you shouldn't be bleeding afterwards, that's for sure.
>>249865>I'm way too old to be back at school at my age.
False. You are never too old to get more education. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.
I feel you on the rest of the stuff though.. I know it may be tough but just try to stop initiating convo with the guy. It's fine to respond if he texts you, but just don't ever message him and it should eventually fizzle out.
Yeah nothing obligates you to go Anon. They probably send letters to make sure they get clients coming and signing checks but it doesn't matter. Assuming you don't have any serious issues you could just start going to another gyno with no issue. It's not normal that a gyno would hurt you so much and also do vagina exams if there's no reason to…
Also your family doctor can give you a prescription for the pill usually (I'm in Europe and it's the case) so look into that. I've been on the pill two years and never saw a gyno (couldn't find any that receives new clients in my area, thanks doctor shortage lol) but no issue at all.
You aren’t too old to learn anon. Going back to school, voluntarily, as an adult is admirable as hell.
Internships sound hard as fuck, but I bet you’ll get better at it as you go along. It’s not an easy balancing act and you’ve got a lot on your plate. Try and cut yourself some slack, if you can.
You’re putting in all this effort to become more productive, more employable, more educated..those are all really great things to work on. There’s folks out here working on the most effective scam for gofundme, to be the sickest and most delicate little snowflake who ever did flake, or how long they can use meth daily and still pretend to function.
You’re on a great path and deserve to feel proud of it.
The shitty thing about finding the right antidepressant is that it takes a loooong time. They usually take a couple of months to regulate everything smoothly, since things are so chaotic, chemically speaking in the depressed brain.
It’s a bitch of a ride and I can’t say anything that will truly make it easier other than the end of the ride is fucking great.
It’s a lot like a real rollercoaster, the whole time you’re riding it it’s anxiety-ridden ups and screaming downs but when you get off you just feel intensely good and alive.
Finding the medication that works is exactly like getting off the rollercoaster.
Antidepressants themselves are getting a lot better too. (I’d be long dead without Effexor) and there’s so much more likelihood of getting better when there’s more than just Prozac.
You’ve been stuck on this shitty rollercoaster for way too long, but now that you’re finding the right medication the end is in sight. There’s like one big loop and hill left and you can get off the damn thing and enjoy the theme park.
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I'm just gonna go real scatterbrain here 2:50am and can't sleep.
I really hate myself at times, I hate how shy and indecisive I am, how I constantly overthink and worry about others more than my own self , I don't expect it back in return but I feel like there has to be something really wrong with me confidence wise. It's gotten way worse now since I've finished uni and gotten a job.
I've become a shutin near enough again, just work sleep and waste time on netflix or games, I really need to make some friends but its hard to do that back from sqaure one again, it's not even like I can just head out and just join a group or ask people at work.
I hate how fucking shy I am, there is something wrong it might be depression , I dont want to die just disappear like, blink and i'm gone.
there are times I want to die but in a ironic sense to blow off steam.
Christ I'm too old to have these issues its really fucking pathetic , there people younger doing so much more than me. Its not even like I'm starting at 0 its more like -10, its tough even just to force myself up to being normal and a functioning person.
like why do I hate myself, why, I don't get it, I hate seeing my reflection I hate getting my photo taken , I don't feel like I'm there being happy its just a face I'm making , I know I'm not happy , does anyone else know or am I just a burden to them , something awkward to not point out.
I wish at times I could just scream and shout out all this negative shit from myself, as If it would purge myself and I could be ok again.
was i ever happy when I was younger or just ignorant.
>I think I just want to be wanted you know.
I'm scared that all the time I've wasted being this miserable depressed mess could of been fixed years ago and to acknowledge that would mean, I may have been able to be happier longer ago.
I sometimes feel like I'm silently drowning and have to pretend to be ok.
Yes, I was talking about Tourniiquet. Tbh I'm kinda happy that another anon noticed.
I don't know that much about her apart from her drawings, so I didn't think I should mention her, just in case lol. But maybe it was a bit too obvious, haha.
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>tfw love walking as exercise but my feet blister like a motherfuck
I walked a little over 3 miles with a friend today and could have done more if I wasn't in so much literal foot pain.
I've tried better shoes, bandaging, powders, etc.
Apparently some people are more blister prone.
I wonder if those tight runner shoes with the invisible toes would work better?? Idk.
Same here anon. I miss the fun we had together, the talks and the intimacy. It was so great to be intimate with him, which brings me to the real problem here:
I'm so fucking horny all the time ffs but I'm too scared to act on it and actually have sex because I think I'm an ugly fuck and I would only embarrass myself. Fml I can't stop thinking about sex, I judge every guy I encounter whether I'd bang him or not. I'm a pathetic idiot. Also, I would have sex with my ex in a heartbeat. Unfortunately he's gone no contact. I feel sad.
I agree. Also, always hating on "western women nowadays" on totally unrelated video. They're strawmaning so hard, it's either about a (white) women being too liberal/not treating men right or if it's an asian girl, a documentary about Africa, no matter what, always "these girls at least still have values, true women, not like…!"
Lately i watched a documentary about child brides and guess what, men in the comment section arguing that these kids at least aren't gonna end up as sluts, single moms, etc.
thot is by definition a woman considered to be sexually provocative or promiscuous or am I mistaken?
At first, I only saw thot being commonly used in the context of instagram thots or instathots, but now it's being used to describe any woman or girl regardless if they fit the definition.>>250084> Lately i watched a documentary about child brides and guess what, men in the comment section arguing that these kids at least aren't gonna end up as sluts, single moms, etc.
That's so disgusting and yes, these sort of vile comments appear on completely unrelated videos, news comments section, random topics. There's going to be a guy starting an argument about evil women, bonus points for "evil white women" and then a bunch of dudes agreeing with him.
It's sickening how much hatred we get for just existing. It's obviously an important issue for such guys that we have the rights and liberties to dress how we want and ultimately live how we want if they have this need to protest against this even on completely unrelated videos, articles etc.
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I started a new job 2 weeks ago, am now in week 3 and holy shit the head accountant is a massive cunt. She acts all nice around others but stabs them in the back the second she can. She's also in good terms with the two bosses so she thinks she's the shit.
She told me how I'm NOT allowed to know less than the current intern, except she's been working there 3 months before me. So how??
My job is also different than hers, (the accountants) I'm in customer support and shipping. She admits she's not really familiar with my job but the cunt still tries to correct me and tell me what to do.
Today she "supervised" me and the intern while working (it was my first time actually doing work instead of learning the theory and watching). She kept talking to us (but mostly me, since I was working) in such a patronizing way. I literally felt like I was taking a fucking test instead of doing my job and god she kept constantly breathing down my neck, asking questions and making comments how wrong x is and how it would be better to do it her way (we have our own work system). It took us like 20 minutes to complete the transaction/task all because of her. Once she left for a break the intern and I did the task in less than 3 fucking minutes.
She also kept telling me how I don't have to memorize it all by heart, I have the instructions right there! Except she didn't allow me to use or look at them, despite never doing working in that transaction before. She also wants to quiz me tomorrow, but hey, I don't have to know the stuff by heart, only every tiny bit of information about it!
I actually find the job fun and my coworkers are all awesome and super friendly, hell even the bosses are chill and don't take stuff too serious. Except this fat cunt. I'm glad I found out that no one likes her and that they usually avoid her.
I'm still pissed as fuck about the whole thing today and can't believe I have to memorize that crap by tomorrow and what not. Jfc
Are you me from the past? I had almost the exact situation and position.
I don't know what to tell you, I quit three months and never looked back. Apparently the girl before me quit within one month (wonder why) and I was pushed into the job with stacks of leftover work but also with very little training from my boss and it was the busiest period.
She would tell me things like "don't hesitate to ask me anything, it's better that you ask me even hundreds of times if it will make things clear to you" and then the moment I would ask her something second time to just clarify (because there was no fucking training) then she would start rolling her eyes and making drama "Please don't do this to me, I can't explain things the second time, I can't do everything". She was sure to tell everyone how incompetent I was and I felt like a retard. I honestly thought I was a retard and I was lucky to land my second job thinking I would probably perform poorly but nope, I realized the problem wasn't in me, it was the ex boss.
So, however you perform, don't blame yourself. Do your best but in the meantime start looking for another job. You will hate your life if you continue working there. A terrible boss that breathes down your neck will make your life a living hell no matter how nice your coworkers are, and considering that she's best pals with the higher ups you can't do or complain. I was there, trust me.
Also, she called my parents and wanted to let them know how bad I was at work.
Good luck anon, just do your best and don't let her backstabbing get to you.
the true reason for these problems is that nowadays many men are useless because they have been allowed to become this way. Video games let them be boys forever and there is no conscription where they are taught how to be men. Their parents don't teach them anything useful either as they both need to work to finance the middle class lifestyle. Then junior thanks them by beeing unemployed and wasting their money on his toys and cannabis.
In China they call it the strawberry generation.
Id be super patronizing. >it’s soooo cute you copy me, like a little sister>aw I’m honored you want to copy my style, hows it going trying to develop your own? >I’d be worried stealing someone’s style, the original people always wear it better, you know? >god look at this celebrity copying this other celebrity’s style. Can you imagine? Pathetic
Or just call it out nicely >omg we match, haha that’s embarrassing. >did you buy the same item as me? Why?
This is only good advice if you want to sound like the ultimate obnoxious special snowflake>>250488
Could you list specific examples? I've come across way too many people accusing others of skin walking when there's nothing that original about their style. Also, even if it is, who cares? As long as she's not showing creeper/stalker tendencies, enjoying "your" style and wearing it herself shouldn't bother you unless you're one of those annoying types who cares waaay too much about being ~unique~.
I don't want to 'out' myself by listing specific examples but if you look at this >>>/snow/227024
thread, it's eerily similar to my situation. She copies almost exact outfits of mine, posts with the same kind of speech style sometimes and as >>250521
pointed out she went as far as to buy MULTIPLE items that aren't popular/common fashion pieces to copy me. It all comes together in one big combination of skin walking. I've shown the images to other people and had them agree about what she's doing, I don't think I'm a special snowflake but there are some items/combinations that are personal and outside of style norms that I wear which she has purchased replicas of or worn together in the EXACT same way.
I would never make a big deal of being unique but having someone copy you entirely then make a big deal about how ORIGINAL and SPECIAL they are is just uncomfortable and annoying. >>250518
I don't want to directly call her out on it because she's likely to make huge drama out of it and not drop it for years. I've seen it happen with her.
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Unless you’re a basic bitch with no style, it’s really obvious if someone starts copying you as soon as you become friends, especially if they wear the exact
same items of clothing.
Flashbacks to when Kim used to copy Paris
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Except Kim was explicitly copying Paris. It wasn’t just because it was a “trend” at the time. It’s because Paris wanted Kim to look like an accessory. There are countless examples, that was just one. In others she wore an identical dress but in a different color, or wore the same color are Paris’ accessories. If you think its just a coincidence or the two of them following trends (even though Paris was a trendsetter back then) then you just don’t know what you’re talking about.
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I just mentioned flashbacks to when she copied her, I didn’t shit on her for it. It’s clearly cause Paris wanted her to. Kim was her “assistant” after all. The point is it’s really easy to tell when someone is copying someone else; with their permission/influence or not. Unless they’re a basic bitch.
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I wasn’t feeling like myself today, especially when I was called in to cover a morning shift and the cakes I was in charged of, ended up getting banged in the car before they arrived to my job. I get yelled at by my boss, I go home feeling like shit. I wanted to play some games alone but someone invited me to join them instead, I couldn’t say no since i really did want to join him but because I was worried that my bad mood might catch on, I just remained silent. He gets worried, I try passing it off as nothing and find an excuse to leave. Kinda felt bad and told him that I lied and that I just wanted him to enjoy himself without me around. We exchanged messages but they just held the essence of stress in them. My replies ended up being rude and I apologize. I have such a bad habit of apologizing too and I guess I over apologized which got on to his final nerve.
Telling me that it just makes my apologies seem more insincere, i begin to feel even more bad and end up apologizing again until he just flat out says that we shouldn’t talk anymore. I didn’t want to ruin his night anymore and so I said that I agree with him. Deleted our conversation and app
Why do I always ruin good relationships?
I genuinely wish that I wasn’t like this and that I could magically stop saying sorry. I was hoping I wouldn’t fuck this up but lo behold, I did.
geez anon, I really feel you. The thought of ruining relationships is pretty much 99% of my social life so far, and losing a friend over something stupid and deleting everything feels like Hell.
I wish I could tell you that it's going to be okay and that he'll come back, but that's happened to me before too and they never do. People who hurt you for being sorry or being so unhappy that you want to leave so they'll be happier without you (aka textbook definition of depression) are so vile to be around sometimes. I'm sure they were very important to you, but speaking from experience those people can't even see what you're going through, much less be kind enough to give you space or help you when you need it (which sounds like right now).
What I can say, though, is that just because relationships fall apart, that doesn't mean it's your fault, nor that you should feel bad because of it. You need to take what you got from that relationship, be it a few moments of happiness or some life lessons or social lessons, and be grateful that you had something like that in the first place. I have as close to 0 friends as possible, but I can still look back at the times I had with the people I cared about and say that I have something. And, if you didn't have any of that, getting rid of them was your best option, imo. It's not like you yelled at them or cursed them out; they left you because of something stupid like being sorry. If so, fuck em. They're making you feel like shit over nothing. If not, be happy for what you had and use it later.
Also anon, don't be so hard on yourself. You and only you can be the person who cares about yourself. If you don't put in that effort to be happy, to accept who you are and brush off people being dicks or little mistakes that you make, then you can't expect others to do it for you. It's a hard lesson to learn, and I haven't quite convinced myself, but it's the truth. And it doesn't make you any less of a person just because you feel sorry for yourself, always remember that. Sorry this happened to you, anon.
hey, anon, getting sexually assaulted is not
your fault, or because of a mistake on your behalf.
You went into REHAB. You're no longer in sex work! Those are two amazing decisions. You're getting over sexual assault and a breach of trust. Give yourself a break. You're chugging forwards. Be proud of yourself. This reminder of the past shouldn't scare you, it should make you realize how far you've come. You're not in that shit anymore! That's a huge achievement.
Fuck the person who sexually assaulted you. You didn't deserve that and you didn't cause it with "horrible decisions." You sound like you've come a long fucking way. Congratulations, anon. You're doing it. This is just a minor set back. Breathe, cry, focus on yourself, and regroup. Don't let this small reminder set you back. You've come too far for that. Be kind to yourself.
Geez anon, I really want to give you a big hug right now.
Yes, this person really did mean a lot to me.
But I really appreciate what you said. I don’t know who you are but you are a very wise and kind hearted person. Thank you and I’ll definitely remember that.
Also please don’t be sorry, in a sense, I did bring this upon myself sadly
But again, thank you
Men can start their own rights movement for all I care.
I just don't want people expecting me, a woman, to have to pick up after them emotionally. Shit, how ironic for women to be just as belligerent and unsupportive about that as many men have been against feminists. And men aren't even the oppressed minority.
What country though anon? I'm curious.
Unrelated vent: I'm sick of this fucking weather in May. It's been downpouring and overcast for the past three days and I'm trying to exercise outside more before work yet I can't. I have a stationary bike but tbh it's really fucking boring even with music or something on tv, and I feel like it's not as efficient. Outside is actually interesting and the scenery changes, not to mention I get some Vit D from the sun. Otherwise I'm cramped in buildings all day and night.
I'm really fucking frustrated with it. I don't know how else to make exercise fun if it's indoors.
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Thanks anon, it seems you're right.
Looks like the cunt has ridiculous high standards or just wants to get rid of me.
We also had two girls working before me. One was an intern, worked for a full year there and after the internship they offered her to stay. She did, but after a month they fired her because she "didn't meet the standards". ??? They didn't have to offer her the job or anything and yet they pulled that shit.
Today she pulled me out of the office today and went with me to another co worker so she could supervise me while working. It felt like I had a pissed off dog that was about to bite me standing next to me.
I only worked with that coworker twice, and only once did we do that transaction because it was the only opportunity to show me, she can't pull the documents out of her ass. Cunt didn't like the way I worked in the transaction, and got irritated that I forgot the name of it (as if I couldn't look it up in the papers if I was seriously working) after the whole thing she said she'll talk to me later with the boss.
And that she did. She told him how "concerned" she is with my progress and I was basically told to pull my shit together next week or I'm fired. Like what the fuck? I'm NOT making mistakes, I'm just a bit slow because it's only been 3 weeks and it's all new to me.
My actual learning/trial period is 6 months, as it is stated in the contract, and they want to kick me out already. I'd understand if I was constantly fucking up the invoices/orders etc, but I'm not and I'm only on day two of actual work. So ????
I don't really care if I get fired, there are other jobs around but it sucks so much because I like working there but this one cunt keeps fucking me over and it hasn't been a full month yet.
godamint those guys are fucking retarded. Get everything served on a silver plate and can't do any more than just cry and moan like little girls. If he has problems, he should visit a doctor and get his mind fixed. I really wish you best of luck and that he gets his shit together and you become a couple again. I really respect you for not abandonning him and I think you have a great personality if you chose to help him. I hope he understands this too and repays you one day. Good luck anon and stay strong>>250707
enjoy it, the older you get, the more you will wish you were young again.
anon thank you, im trying to become stronger too so even if he never comes around Ill be in much a better place
as much as i wanna be his rock and support him i need more support in my life too
Yeah, I had a friend like this I dropped. Always commenting on my purchases and stuff, hinting at how much I had (I was just budgeting to buy the stuff so it was extra annoying).
Ad people like this are always the worst with their money.
As someone who works in the medical field, the pressure they put on people for certain exams IS a way to make money. You don't need a pap often, especially if you are under 30, and even then it's only really necessary every 4 years or so. If you are on medications then it is important to do check ins and labs, but jfc if I had a nickel for every time I got pressured into doing something that really wasn't medically necessary, I wouldn't have to work. At my check ups, they still to this day pressure me about certain types of BC and when I was ~19 they manipulated me into getting the HPV vaccine when I was not comfortable with it.
Even labs will harass doctors to pester their patients do xyz labs again, when it's up to the doctor's discretion. Be careful with specialists, like GYNs, because they can take advantage of women who don't feel comfortable/are scared and just say yes because they don't know better.
Also, if you are in that much pain, find a new GYN and tell them about your experience. You should not be hurting that much or experiencing those kinds of symptoms after a check up.
I mean I can see why someone would rather celebrate a birthday than attend a funeral.
It's sad anon but some people really can't stand funerals. I'm one of them, no matter how close to the deceased they make me uncomfortable and never feel like they help me grieve.
Although maybe she should reach out to you in some other way since it sounds like you need some emotional support.
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I miss when the mods did cute things… Like april fools day pranks and just interacting with us more in general. Part of me feels like the site has changed for the better (rules and rule enforcement, order, user base is a bit less cringe, etc.), but sometimes I still miss the way it used to be.
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I spent the last hour being giddy over what I thought was a good idea, only to realize I had completely misred the scenario.
I looked into one of those betting websites for losing weight.
Initially I thought it was like creating a kickstarter where friends and family donate money to my goal, and I only get the money if I fulfill that goal or lose it all if I don't make it.
Turns out that's not how it works. I could only create host games where other fatties join in the bet and depending who wins, splits that pool of betted money.
I'm really disappointed, I didn't catch that until my second read through because the person's page that I saw the website listed on didn't mention it was a competitive payout against others.
And based on reviews, the profit payout for most games is mediocre at best.
Lol, I thought I was being so clever!
My goal would have been 15% of my weight by fall, which is when I'm going to Japan. I was going to use that money to put into my savings.
I don't know whether to laugh at my naive retardation, or cry…
>>251095>creating a kickstarter where friends and family donate money to my goal, and I only get the money if I fulfill that goal or lose it all if I don't make it.
there definitely is things like this out there, have a look around. Look more generally than weight loss, just goals - but having said that if you can't find one,>creating a kickstarter
is this against their terms or can't you just go straight ahead and make your page?
I'll keep looking but I'm running into websites with the same pool betting setups.
Personally I've never made a kickstarter before, suppose I could look into their TOS to see if that sort of thing is allowed.
It's just that the weight loss sites add…something like credibility? For instance, the website I was looking into had internal auditing where you submit a picture of yourself and one on your scale of the weigh in/out. Someone from the website reviews the submissions to make sure you're not bullshitting or cheating. Also none of that would be published for everyone to see.
I liked that because my number is pretty high, and I'm embarrassed for people to know it.
One could say I could just show a graph or something without numbers on the kickstarter, but again, I don't think that website would force me to weigh out. People could probably see that as a problem and donate less for the fact. Shit, if I didnt see someone's numbers I'd probably be skeptical too.
I just don't want it to come off as straight begging.
Family and friends like I said, it wasn't going to be open for strangers because this is personal and I was just gonna share it on my fb. I'm sure strangers don't care about my weight loss, and would begrudge me money towards an international trip as a reward.
I mean I know you weren't trying to be offensive, but you're asking me who do I think I am for asking money for weight loss.
Meanwhile I see youtubers get donations for creating content like unboxing videos, makeup tutorials, cosplay supplies, and pretty much stuff they've been doing on their own dime up until they mustered the gall to ask
And hell, some people give them money just because they ask
Why not me too, you know? Shit, at least it's for betterment. People always threaten fatties about how we'll wind up costing taxpayers one way or the other, seems like I'm thrice a financial burden on society as a whole if I stay this way or worsen. I'm not even asking the public, just people who claim to care about me.
Youtubers at least provide entertainment.
Other people wanting money for doing nothing isn’t really a good justification or defense for asking money from people for doing even less. You eating fewer calories is even less entertaining than a product review.
What actual reason is there for anyone to pay you for losing weight? Other than ‘other people get money too’ and ‘it’s only my family and friends’
I’d tell my best friend or my mother to get fucked if they asked for fifty bucks because they lost 20 pounds they needed to lose anyway.
Youtubers offer a service, even if it’s one you don’t like. What gain does anyone get out of giving you their hard earned cash?
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>bloated and with diarrhea for a week
>every meal is pain
>can't focus on work at all but don't want to call in sick and lose time at the doctors
>after a 9 days, finally have a good day where im not nauseous and dead
>immediately the day after
>bloated again, diarrhea
>"DUDE WHAT THE FU-"
>period started early and now i'm back with the bad shits, bloating and nausea aaand now cramping pain
>mfw one more week of this
If she’s like, super obese she could make a few bucks doing a YouTube series about the “weight loss journey” bs but tbh it won’t get much attention unless she’s shockingly fat or really charismatic. (I’m guessing charisma is a no since she thinks her pals should pay her to eat a bit less) >>251101
How fat are you talking? Just regular American sized or over 300 pounds?
I'm not demanding anyone give me money though. Don't friends and family usually give money to causes for their loved ones, health conditions or drug addictions?
I don't get you, it's not entitlement for sure if I'm not acting like I'm owed
money. I'm just asking.>>251126
Not 300 pounds obese, but probably half a person away from that. >YouTube
Again, don't want to. This is personal and I don't think I'm ready to attach my identity to it.
Look at the reactions I got from you two. I don't want to deal with that hostility from people.
Youtubers aren’t demanding money either. You’ve not provided a single reason as to why anybody shouldn’t would give you money to eat less, and you’re clearly very sensitive to any criticism of this idea so I think you know it’s a pretty foolish and selfish one.
Nobody is going to want to give you their money to not be excessively fat, and it’s honestly bizarre to think that anybody would think it’s a good idea to even ask.
All you’ve done is say you don’t think youtubers should be paid and that you’re not forcing people to give you things. Do you really think that’s a good reason to do something?
More people would post your fundraiser to places like fatlogic and choosing beggars on reddit than donate to you for doing literally nothing.
But maybe it's not about "entertainment" and more like people wanting to support those who are trying to make better choices.
Not everything has to entertain you to be valid.
Imo if incentivizing people to lose weight works then it should be done. I had no idea until the anon mentioned upthread that some countries give grants to people who want to lose.
Maybe you should let those governments know how they're just giving out entitlements and what a terrible idea that is, since you have the answers apparently.
I honestly can’t comprehend having the gall to look my friends in the eye and say ‘hey, would you give me money if I don’t eat twice as much as I need everyday?’
Paying to send a relative to rehab is lifesaving medical treatment, you think wanting to lose weight is the same thing?
Asking people for things you have done absolutely nothing for is extremely entitled, and the fact that you can’t see that is disturbing. You need help not other people’s cash.
>>251131>Youtubers aren’t demanding money either.
The fuck they're not lmao.
>YOUTUBE IS DEMONETIZING ME!!! SUPPLEMENT MY INCOME, THIS IS MY LIVING!!!!
I'd say that's a bit different than anon's one time bet with a goal in mind. Take off the rose colored glasses and stop acting like youtubers are different.
Oh and by the way–calm down nonnie. Take your Patreon hateboner back to the Jill thread.
>>251134>losing weight isn't the same as lifesaving treatment
Well, it kind of is. That's what things like bariatric surgeries are for. So morbidly obese people don't die within the next few years. You seem awful assblasted for me just spitballing an idea.
Personally I'm glad I'm not related to you, you sound nasty.
Kind of like saying ‘I want to go to japannnnnn reeeeeeee! This is my holidaaaayyyy.
Especially when most people contributing are contributing to a dead cause. If anon was serious about losing weight they’d have started already. You wanna pay someone twenty bucks to say they want to lose 70pounds?
>>251139>anon hasn't started losing weight
Don't act like that.
Why would I be looking at betting websites if I haven't already known I've been losing?
I don't get money if I don't drop.
For your info, I've been losing steadily. I just wanted to incentivize myself to stay on track. I know, horrible offense. I might as well rob a sweet old granny with a twinkie shaped like a gun.
You see harm in asking, which is why it's bizarre.
I gave other people donations to their gofundmes, I didn't have a chip on my shoulder about it like you seem to.
And you’re prioritising a holiday to japan over potentially life saving surgery, but anyone who thinks you shouldn’t ask your family and friends to pay is an evul fat shamer wahhh
The entitlement is astounding.
Should you also get free umbrellas from all the shops if you choose to go out without on in the rain?
Yeah the audacity really does amaze me. The audacity of anyone starting one for anything other than genuinely life saving medical shit is off the charts.
Why should anybody get free money for a holiday or for doing literally nothing? They aren’t kids and nobody needs a holiday, a photo shoot, a second car or the other shit people proudly beg money for.
You think it’s ridiculous that entertainers ask for payment but furiously defend asking for money for doing literally nothing but eating less. The fact that you’re not ashamed of that blows my fucking mind
Because my travel to Japan is a prize I won through my job and I need to use it by December.
Oh and, a bariatric surgery is oh, say more than a few thousand dollars when all I need for Japan is a fraction of that cost.
So no, I'm not going to miss a one time opportunity because you want me to have surgery first to prove something exactly. >>251147
I get your point, but I disagree with you. You can stop.
Yeah you’re really gonna love japan if you’re this upset over getting called out over a terrible idea and obesity. Japan is super welcoming of allllllll that noise.
Maybe when your friends and family laugh in your face you’ll realise how bad of an idea it actually is and stop acting like a victim because you got told it’s shitty to beg. Absolutely ridiculous.
My family would never act like hateful cunts to me as the way you're being. You're the only one who sounds like you have a bug in your ass. I'm done with you.
Oh and stop derailing. I'm sure nobody else cares about what you think is and isn't entitled.
Lmao nice. 10/10 insult gofatme-anon.
Who do you think I got those values from if not my family? Thought you were done with the big bully fat shamers?
They didn't do a very good job with you. >everyone who disagrees with me is fat
Uh oh, I've seen this somewhere else not too long ago. 13 BMI chan, that you?
The anon mentioned is the one who has said they are a candidate for bariatrics. One person isn’t everyone or screeching that people looked cute in holodomor pictures.
The anon called fat is the one who has already stated that they are large enough to be a bariatric patient.
That’s different to calling others fat, and different to spending three days saying that people who look like they existed during famine are the cutest, the way bmi13-anon did.
It’s a commendable length to reach. Well done.
Just because you
can't understand something doesn't mean that it's word salad, fatty-chan.
BMIchan is a ban evader and known to be relentlessly hostile. It's not a reach at all, though you seem to want to convince me otherwise.>>251173
It really didn't make sense. You need sleep, you're tired from acting like different anons.
I wasn't acting like a different anon and I'm not that ana freak, the only posts I've made to you are >>251173
Openly hostile like calling people cunts for not supporting the idea of begging loved ones for a few grand to spend on a holiday? >>251177
There can only be one person who disagrees with their master genius plan.
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I hate my life, hate myself and see no prospect for things ever improving. I hate being poor and would have just gone into sex work if I had the looks for it. I keep applying for better jobs and keep getting rejected. I can't keep or make friends and the few I have are in such shitty positions themselves we can't hang out. My family doesn't like me. I've never had a good relationship and don't think it would be worthwhile to bother. I've got a suicide countdown of sorts, at which point I reexamine whether its worth doing or if I still somehow have delusions of things getting better. People with suicide countdowns should not get into relationships.
I'm about as irritated as I am sad. Fuck this. There.
I'm watching a documentary series about women killers and it made me want the manhate thread back so bad.
Every last one of them is portrayed in a particularly negative way. The focus is always on the victims and how sad it was that they died, the viewer is encouraged to be outraged by their deaths at all times and nothing else. These women's motives are glossed over or have their importance completely disregarded, they're exposed solely for context. They're never given as a reason for the crime, just as an excuse for a psychopathic woman to kill someone with no remorse. Every single woman is portrayed as a calculating psychopath.
And actually, all of that is absolutely fine. That's absolutely the proper way to go about a crime documentary: making it clear at every turn that these people are in the wrong, that the consequences are devastating, that no amount of subjective suffering justifies murder.
That's never how documentaries about male murderers go. These are women who had regular lives, who were involved with one single instance of murder. Documentaries about male serial killers who did much worse things and openly enjoyed inflicting pain always find a way to make the viewer sympathize with the son of a bitch, or glamorize the whole thing. Or they treat the sob as a complex human being with complex emotions and thoughts, with real motives and desires, with things they believed in that drove them to murder, they're never shown in this pathetic one-dimensional characterization.
This is bullshit. Even murderers get treated as human beings as long as they're male.
The gaping flaw is that you got called a name after spending more than ten posts doing the exact same thing and being as shrewd?
I guess you win cause you say so.
The gaping flaw in trying to drag the Ana chan drama into me despite not being the only one who’s a bitch and by saying an obese person is fat.
Give it up and just go panhandle your holiday money already.
Yup, it's ridiculous. One of them killed her husband and said multiple times that it was in self-defense and he had a dark side to him, that he was obsessive, that he thought if he couldn't be with her nobody else could.
Not a single person even entertained the thought that maybe she was telling the truth. They just said over and over that the guy was so nice, such a gentleman, that he loved her so much, he cherished her yadda yadda. I'm pretty sure that if she were telling the truth about her husband's behavior, this man would still defend him and say he acted that way because he loved her and she should have appreciated it instead of rejecting him. Fuck men.
I'm not any of those anons you were talking to before, but come on. At first I thought I misread, why would anybody who you know personally gift you money? That's so embarrassing and you'd risk damaging your friendship. >And hell, some people give them money just because they ask. >Why not me too, you know? Shit, at least it's for betterment.
Giving money because you asked them = begging. Have some dignity.>I'm not even asking the public, just people who claim to care about me.
That sounds an awful lot like "If you really care about me, you better pay!"…
I'm not a very thin person myself, so I know that it's hard, but we are the ones who got ourselves fat, so we're also the ones who have to do something against it.
People who always managed to maintain their weight im the first place are the ones who should get rewards.
>>251205>People who always managed to maintain their weight im the first place are the ones who should get rewards.
But why tho.
Lol but seriously, thanks for at least not being a shit to me about it like the other psycho.
Not that anon, but>Those other anons (which was totally just one triggered anachan!!1) are psychos for thinking that begging for money for doing virtually nothing is shitty >:T
You sound like such an unbelievably shitty person. I hope you don't lose any weight, you slovenly, disgusting pig.
It is sad to read what you wrote. Unfortunately there is no magic cure for situations like these and your only way to deal with this is to set clear goals for yourself and actively work towards achieving them. You either suceed in achieving them or you die trying. The most important thing is to always think positive about your future and lie to yourself that everything will work out in the end.
I hope you will find the strenght to get out of this loop. I think you should give it one last try before actually calling it quits for good.
Good luck and stay strong.
You know there's a difference between saying something like>"Anon what you're doing is entitled and could wind up driving your friends away so this isn't a good idea."
and>"Omg you entitled gofatme you aren't doing shit for people how fucking dare you."
Anyway, I'm about to go on my second walk for the day with a friend.
Have a good time talking more shit and behaving miserable on lolcow today just because of a stupid idea I didn't even act on and vented anonymously about.
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I helped my BF move out to LA last week so he can start his life but I'm staying in our hometown so I can finish my degree. I'm love him a lot and I'm going to miss him but I'm really afraid of how we're going to navigate a LDR. Part of me has faith that we can make it through and part of me has no idea what's going to happen. I could possibly have a degree and graduate by this December but I'm still scared.
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>friends are currently feuding against each other
>one friend hangs out with me
>posts pictures to social media
>the other friend gets jealous and tries to one up other friend by offering to do something else with me
Their fighting makes me a little uncomfortable and I know I'm just the object in their feud, but it feels kinda nice to be fussed over low key.
I'm liking the attention.
I'm not even her, just taking the piss out of you because for all you protest about that fatty being bothered, you seem as roasted.
Knock it off. For real.
No, I'm 26 and they're about a year or so older than me. Tbh I do think they're immature in their own ways, I'm playing it smart by not telling either of them anything too personal, keeping it civil.
I just like the attention is all. I usually don't get much from friends these days.
If they dropped me tomorrow it would be business as usual.
I think the one friend genuinely likes me though. She includes me in things without doing it just to piss the other friend off, and reaches out to me. The other one clearly is more of a suck up and a bit shady, that's the one who one-ups constantly and who I'm cautious about.
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I need to see a therapist but it's hard to get in contact with one. I live with my parents in a shitty satellite city with limited options and have tried looking into online counseling but I'm unsure about it. I used to see this family therapist in high school that I tried getting in contact with recently and he hasn't called me back. I feel like it's because he remembers what a dumb cunt I was and doesn't want to deal with me again. Part of me thinks I just need to stiff out my emotional problems but I'm really starting to think that it's impossible.
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MGOTW and incels are the scum of the earth. MGOTW isnt as bad… but they're more of a incel in progress, despite their denials.>>251557
I've heard a syndrome like this before, forgot it's name though. You deserve every bit of what you've earned. Work hard. Good luck anon!>>251124
Ouch, best wishes to you anon.
Most mgtows are incels tbh
"YOU STUPID ENTITLED WOMEN!!! IM MGTOWING AND TO PROVE HOW MUCH I MGTOW IM GOING TO THAILAND AND FUCK THE SAME WOMEN I CLAIMED TO HATE!! REEEEeeeeEE"
"Waaah women wont have sex with me after I opened the door, all women want chad cock"
I wouldnt even care but it's been contaminating a lot of youtube tbh, everything from the news, to cat videos, to just innocent videos, mgtows and incels have to turn everything into a gender war of how oppressed men are by western women, its always western women too, which I don't get because most western women aren't feminists, some are even MRAs but it shows you who they are when most western women can be carbon copies of what they want but god forbid a few bitches exist because that apparantly represents all women who live in a certain area
I believe you're talking about what they call imposter syndrome https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome
and anxiety definitely plays into it. I've experienced it myself in the past couple years now that I've gotten my "shit together" yet I still have this horrid past full of mistakes and blunders. I try to just be thankful and stop doubting myself all the time. I'm sure you're doing great anon, just keep it up and good luck with your internship. You may consider therapy though if your anxiety and self doubt interferes with your daily life.
I am miserable every single day and I wish I had a way out.
I remember the last time I felt happy. I was 15. I remember being happy at home with my mother. I remember going to the shops with her. I remember going on walks. I remember I was doing well in school, I remember I had friends, I remember being okay.
I guess it was when I was 16 when I started falling apart, and never really was able to put myself back together. The subsequent years are filled with so many terrible decisions, which hurt myself and disappointed those around me. And I guess the only reason I can blame for being unhappy is myself.
I think it was three years ago when I made the decision to really be better. I tried to be a better person. I cut out my toxic relationships. I stopped doing cigarettes, weed, even alcohol. I enrolled in college. I got to the root of my problems–from being a star student that never even stayed up late, to a chronic fuck up who could barely wake up in the morning. And I think I realized that I was depressed because I was suppressing the many years of abuse I encountered as a very young child at the hands of the family my dad remarried into. I pushed myself to be better. And I eventually did alright. From an objective standpoint, someone would see a person who is doing well in life.
But every day I feel horribly, terribly alone. I can't connect with anyone. I just feel so apart and so disconnected no matter how hard I try. Life feels like this weird, endless, dark hole; it feels like I'm falling backward into a bottomless pit with no way to stop it.
I realize that happiness is something you have to work at. It's not freely given. And I realize that, by the luck of my own birth, I have resources and opportunities that other people don't. So I exercise. I get enough sunlight. I have hobbies. I eat a plant based diet, I drink lots of water, I have cut out soda and I don't do drugs. I try to stay in contact with people. I push myself to go to school and to volunteer. I keep a diary. I try to fix my negative behavior patterns, I try to recognize when I'm being irrational, I think about how my actions affect others and how my thoughts affect my actions. I ask people for advice. I'm going to see a therapist for the first time in years next week.
But I'm not happy. And it's not even that I'm not happy, it's that I'm profoundly miserable. I hate waking up every single day. I hate that I'm a bad person, I hate how I look, I hate how stupid I am, I hate that I'm a self-centered asshole, I hate I haven't graduated from college yet, I hate that my family sees me as a disappointment, I hate that I can't be a good girlfriend, I hate that I'm a bad friend, and I hate that I constantly do the wrong thing. I hate that every single day I feel hopeless. I have not felt excited about anything in years. I am constantly afraid that the people I love hate me, that they are always talking about me behind my back. I get unreasonably jealous when it comes to my boyfriend and I can often be moody and sullen and emotional. It feels like no one ever does anything unless they can make sure I won't be there. And maybe they're right in doing that–maybe because I'm such an awful, boring, sad person they don't want me to come. But it still makes me feel so much more lonely.
I want to get out of this. I can't keep faking the idea that things are going to get better. I can't keep going when every day I feel worse and worse and I hate the future and I hate the past and I just don't want to go on anymore.
The last time I posted my thoughts about this I was told to sod off and that I was just a whiny, stupid girl. I'm sorry that I'm posting again. I understand that, by and large, there's no reason for me to be sad. I have a family, friends, a boyfriend, a roof over my head, I'm in school, ect. I have everything I need and I try so hard to recognize that and to be grateful for what I've been given. I try
to be happy, to make the right decisions. But I can't be. I think there's something wrong with me. I keep making all these stupid decisions and feeling all these stupid sad things and I can't fix it and I don't want to keep trying anymore. I don't feel like it's ever going to get better.>>251559
I just want to say I doubt your old therapist isn't returning your calls for any personal reason. He may not be accepting patients at the time, or he may be looking to close his practice, or any number of reasons.
Have you looked at https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
for finding a therapist near you? I'm assuming you live in the US, so I'm sorry if this doesn't help you. Also, if you're not sure about how to go about talking to a therapist, here's this useful guide:
I wish you all the best. >>251635
Not to armchair, but I feel like her feeling better about her life after getting better grades and a good internship isn't a symptom of bipolar disorder. It sounds like anon is just struggling with anxiety or depression and is questioning if she deserves feeling better about her life, which I'm sure a lot of people can relate to. I think this anon >>251580
hits the nail on the head.
Yeah I think that's part of it. One thing is that I did really well in high school, struggle in college, and am doing well in college again. I'm just surprised with the problems I've had I managed to recover relatively quickly. >>251566
Impostor syndrome sounds about right. Thanks for the luck!>>251635
I definitely don't have bipolar. I've never had a manic episode, just depression. I was worried me feeling good could be mania, but then I realized that people do a lot of impulsive things then.
I was diagnosed with PTSD by a psychiatrist when I was a teen, but I've never heard of CPTSD. What is that?
I'm so sorry you went through it too, anon.
God, NTA but I was also only diagnosed with regular PTSD and this explains so many of my long term issues as well. I deal with huge rage issues and push everyone away out of fear and paranoia.
I believe therapy or opening up to a loved one is the way to go with this sort of issue. My mother has helped me a lot so far, and I'm sure a good therapist could do the same. Good luck with therapy, >>251642
Reading this, I just kind of went.. "oh."
I was abused every weekend for many years of my life, starting when I was very young. This is all making things much more clear.
Is this an actual diagnosis in the DSM? As in, will my therapist be able to help me with it?
It's not official sadly, and I guess it would be harder to treat than regular ptsd but maybe you can find a therapist that knows about it.
I tried getting emdr therapy but it was too expensive so I stopped going, so I don't really know what helps.
I've always been wary of getting treatment for my mental health because of the fear of the borderline stigma. I just want to get help with my problems and be a better person, but I'm afraid of being turned away if I'm too much to handle.
I hope therapy will help because all my relationships, especially with myself, are in crisis right now and I don't know how to go forward without having a breakdown every day.
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I’m tired of being a fucking airhead with no reason to exist.
I have money and anything I could ask for but I’m tired of having an IQ equivalent to a pickle.
I don’t know where to start and I’m scared that I’ll sound even more stupid if I ask for help.
This reminds me I once let a boy sleep (sleep only, no sex) in my housemates' double bed for a few hours with me before work (my room was single bed and she was on holiday)
Am I going to hell
My husband and I have had sex on my mother-in-law's bed.
Before I was with my husband, I hooked up with a youth minister and we fucked on the pool table in the rec room of his church.
Don't ask if someone did sleep. Just go up to them and tell them something like "Hey, if you ever have someone over and they want to sleep here, don't let them use my bed. Thanks." If they ask wtf you're talking about you can either confront them or tell them "oh you know I just thought it'd be good to set some rules straight".
Also Erasmus is a great thing you just were unlucky with the person.
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>spent the last 3 years suffering from apd
>finally making progress on making acquaintances at work and school and become a progressive citizen
>family sees progress and pushes me to go out and experience the world
>end up being forced to stop by store to get my cat's food
>rushing too fast out the door
>bump into a 9/10 girl
>she says sorry and automatically starts chatting me up
>become friends with the stacy at the shitty retail store after 30 mins of her talking at me
>every friday i stop by from work for cat food
>she's always hanging around outside
>3 weeks past
>turns out we have the same interests mainly music and movies
>turns out she lives at the same block as me
>she's now a 10/10
>am i a lesbian?
>she tells me her bf works at the store
>damn, here comes another silent crush
>5 months pasts by and we're on best friend status
>late summer night
>walking down street bc insomnia and new pair of balls
>see her bf walking down the street into her apartment building
>clearly on something
>he dropped his wallet
>thinks about giving him his wallet until he's gone
>continue my walk
>suddenly stacy stops showing up at the store and stops texting me for a month
>too autistic to visit her
>just thinks she forgot about me
>a year later a body was found by our harbor
>she was shot
>mfw it was stacy
>mfw i didn't know for 2 years bc a dead prostitute isn't newsworthy
>mfw i could've possibly stopped her pimp but didn't
>mfw her pimp is not in the country anymore
I indeed did, including physical description and his name, sure enough his personal info was fake >>251876
Life's a bitch
Roommate is nasty and should absolutely not be allowing anyone in your bed. That’s disgusting, make them clean your linens.
You can absolutely ask them if they felt entitled enough to give away your space and allow someone to use your things. >>251832
Thanks for the info. I can relate to your post a lot honestly. I've also recently made positive changes in my life and yet it still feels like I'm being slowly crushed. >>251787
Have you tried reading? When I feel dumb reading always seems to make me feel a little sharper.
Was only talking to my bf recently and he mentioned hating how many YouTubers/streamers he once liked turned out to be alt-right, woman-hating assholes. I hate to sound like a Tumblrina but they're all straight, white men and I think it's a reaction to the rise of good, successful feminist movements. They look at things like #metoo or women's only events or steps towards equality in the workplace and they think "Weeeh but what about me? Feminism doesn't benefit meeee!"
So instead of looking into these movements and trying to understand them or where women are coming from, they push back. It's actually shocking how common it is to see men in support of banning abortion, pushing women out of the workplace, trying to make contraception less available, demanding boys be mollycoddled in the school system (because god forbid little girls are doing better!), men in support of human trafficking and becoming more religious and extremist in general. There's a huge amount of support for that kind of thing online and I feel like lolcow is the only place I feel comfortable anymore due to it being majority female. Even Facebook disgusts me with the amount of men who would have fit in well during the 1800s posting their shitty, toxic opinions with absolutely no fear of society turning on them (their full names, face, pictures of their kids and workplaces…all public).
I'm taking a course in Computer Science atm and the opinions of some of these men would actually make you sick tbh. That might be another post.
you make it sound illogical but even if it's horrible it is consistent that men would scorn women >when i see them out having careers, getting degrees, and accomplishing so much
For most of history this was the life of a man, and now women are acting more like men, which to you is just "being more accomplished" because you have internalised patriarchy. There's a type of feminism that points out that these concepts of career, industry academia etc., were created by men for them to do what men like doing. Women with careers are buying in to the masculine structure. You might not agree but probably men seeing a bunch of women being really good at being men, isn't doing it for them
What careers are you talking about, anon? You choose your career. If you're in a job that you like, that's hardly "giving in to our patriarchal society". There are more careers out there than working in an office, you know. Anyway, what's the alternative to you? Staying home and popping out kids? Cleaning? Cooking? Just because women got stuck with those careers, doesn't mean they enjoy
them. In fact, I think the fact that we're getting closer to an equal society and I don't know any stay-at-home moms is a good sign that that's not
what women enjoy doing when offered the choice.
What's a careercel? Why not use normal English words that are in the dictionary like career-oriented instead of using retarded /r9k/ lingo?
Oh wait, you're a brainlet and a robot.
Anyhow, I've personally been in a care giver/nurturer situations and I know that I really don't enjoy them and I also know that I'm not a special snowflake and that there are lots of other women like me that don't like it either.
Besides, all the moms that I know get treated like shit after a short time. It's truly an unthankful job when your husband and kids start taking you for granted and you don't get paid for all the time that you spend nor can you put it on a resume. If you're a stereotypical stay-at-home mom then you entirely depend on your husband and hope that he doesn't ditch you for a younger woman like it usually happens when men get in their mid-life crisis.
I agree with you, anon(s).
I love cooking for myself, but most mothers aren't cooking meals they want to eat nor getting appreciation every time they do it. It's just an expectation in most households.
Cleaning? I love me a clean home. But try picking up after a pig husband and a few brats everyday and it gets tiresome as hell. Another unappreciated daily task that gets swept under the rug because people assume since women silently do it, they must like it.
It's overall boring and tedious.
I'm pretty sure the reason why housewives don't share more of their grievances is because they don't want to be judged for sounding lazy or unmotherly. But it's true. Picking up after people and being their maid day in and out is fucking awful.
However let's not even pretend that women are only
expected to be domestic these days. It takes two incomes to keep a household afloat because men no longer bring home a meaningful salary. In addition to being mommies and maids, they now have to work full time or part time too.
There was a study that found women who have a job and then come home to do chores are more likely to be depressed. Because who isn't depressed when they bust their ass at a job only to come home to kids and a messy house? That's UNPAID labor that women are just expected to do to prove how "nurturing" they are.
Enlighten me then.
What happens when children or the husband or both don't reciprocate mother's affection? All that time, all that labor for nothing.
With work, you get experience that makes you more competitive in the job market. With work you get compensated in money. With housework, you get neither.
But I'm sure in your imaginary world traditional families are perfect and no such thing happens. Husbands are always faithful and children are always grateful and women love scrubbing the house clean day after day but the evil jews made stupid women think otherwise, right?
>>252151>wait till you actually have a kid, you'll open your eyes.
I highly doubt having kids will make someone suddenly enjoy changing nappies and doing thankless work for a lazy husband, you nutter.>>252157
This. I agree with everything you said.
>>252148>having children doesn't make money for capitalism
are you high? do you know how the economy works? please explain how all the countries with low birth rates (like japan) are royally fucked because of low birth rates.
having children is definitely contributing to the economy because they're fucking expensive. in the USA we get tax breaks for having them.
idk what "muh capitalism" even has to do with it, but you sound like a moron, a bitter moron.
Maybe in some places Erasmus students are better, especially in countries that are popular and appealing so more people genuinely interested in an experience of exchange go there. In my dorm everyone hates them because they think they're in some American teenage movie - acting loud and obnoxious, shouting and singing in corridors, knocking on random doors at night, barging into the rooms, intoxicated 24/7. This isn't how real life is. They're here for a little while so they don't care. My uni handles them shittly and they have little to no classes, allowing them to do everything except studying. Dorm security can't speak English, they're useless. The only thing we can do is file a complaint but I'm not sure they even check those. God I hate them. Not like I hate individual humans, but this collective of wild Erasmus students. I was way more tolerant and always defended them until my floor suddenly became Erasmus floor this semester and they put this girl in my room. Now I know.
Whew, good to vent, bottled it up for a while
Damn they sound awful. I studied abroad (not on Erasmus though, out of Europe) and it was super fun because as you say, we had very few classes, and we were in a really nice and safe country so exploring and drinking at night was completely fine, but your situation sounds like a whole other bag of beans.
Maybe try to bring this to the international office at your uni. They should be in contact with the international office from their home uni(s), so if you and other students come forward with complaints about the group, they can relay them to their school which might in turn send them a warning (with possibly the threat of lowering credits or more). If no one ever complains then the next batch of erasmus will be just as bad because they'll have seen the cool party pictures and heard the wacky stories from their seniors and want to do the same, sadly.
>>252111> Getting tired of how popular woman hate is now
Exactly, it's everywhere now. I posted ITT a while back how thot and thotting are regularly used and applied to virtually every woman, and it's evidently a symptom of a wider and fiercer misogyny, at least online. Everything is a casus belli for a gender war. If a woman does something, it's clearly a sign that all women are like that. If a woman is a bad driver then all women are unfit to drive. If a woman complains about working, then all women have this suppressed desire to become homemakers. One false rape accusation is enough to discredit every rape accusation.
I never see the same amount of visceral hatred towards men when they do something, and even when someone (usually a woman) points out in an article about a guy that abuses his girlfriend or wife, or murders a woman, how men statistically are much more likely to commit such horrendous crimes, then there are numerous accounts that will defend men, saying how it's nothing like that, and that one man does not represent all men. Fair point, but the same apologetic stance doesn't seem to apply to women.
I don't engage in man hating threads and I've been on internet for a long time so I'm pretty much indifferent to misogyny in regular places which is why I noticed this alarming trend of women being insulted just for existing, calls for violence against women on unrelated videos, youtube channels, social media, news comments etc.
What's even more worrying is that it's seen as normal. We're accustomed to it.
If you as a girl don't laugh at such 'remarks' then you're a stuck up bitch. I've also seen other women both ironically and unironically throw the word thot at other women and men cheering. It's all so disgusting and vile.
Slightly off-topic but that reminds me of a guy from my university who went to Japan to study for a year and he wouldn't stop posting about him having fun, him eating in restaurants and McDonald all the time, partying and fucking a bunch of random guys on his tumblr. He bragged about Japanese colleges being way too easy for a genius like him before getting his grades, and it turned out that he failed his second semester. Despite the fact that college in Japan IS easier than the ones in our countries according to all the people I know who studied there. He's notoriously bad for showing off all the time and criticizing people who are at least as competent as him so I thought that was pretty funny.
All the Erasmus and foreign students I met during my classes where really serious about studying and had very good grades, but that didn't stop them from partying. But I can totally imagine others I don't know from my classes being there just for fun and thinking they're on holidays all year long. I wish I were rich enough to study abroad, fuck.
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>>252205>''would've earned me a blow'
that's not a red flag, that's a red curtain. Gtfo. What an insane thing to say to someone
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I told him I want to stop seeing him and he started guilting me saying that it's concerning I would leave him ''THAT EASILY'' after the shit he said like uhhhhhhhhhh
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Anon, get out. That is the stupidest shit. Say sayonara to the crazy man. How are you even considering this? Block his number, peace out.
My guess is that the man hating thread is on auto-sage because it attracts unwarranted guests aka robots. tbh it's also annoying when you get other farmers that come in men's defense, even though the OP clearly states it's for anons to vent about their negative experience with men so it doesn't necessarily mean all men, but then you have to explain that to multiple anons that a) don't bother reading the OP, b) don't bother reading the thread or previous posts
So the man hating threads usually becomes a discourse between robots and farmers, where robots keep bringing up stale arguments and some farmers even try to rationalize with them and also a lot of repetitive posts in between "omg I can't believe you can be so mean to poor men!!1"
I'm not sure if I want the man hating thread back because of these reasons. If only people knew how to hide threads hmmm…
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I just realized why everyone before me quit this job.
Our company basically consists of 3 salesmen (and one of them is the ceo), who travel often and then there's me. If all 3 of them decided to travel somewhere I'm left basically running the entire company - creating offers, writing down sales, communicating with the customers, transport organization, orders etc., the only thing I won't have to do is accounting.
Unless they pay me properly I'm out of there in a few months too
Why do you assume she’s gonna end up with some gross slob and awful bratty kids? Maybe she’s smart enough to avoid the shit most of the women bitching about this stuff have avoided.
How is it not just as sexist to state that every single male is a lazy selfish piece of shot who can’t even use a tea towel as it is to say that women are nurturers who delight on cleaning everyone’s dirty socks.
>>252267>Maybe she’s smart enough to avoid the shit most of the women bitching about this stuff have avoided.
Yes, because people who cheat and act like slobs are open about it like that and take no measures whatsoever to conceal it and/or gaslight their partner into believing that it's actually their fault. Because once you're completely dependent on a guy for steady income and bound to him by a couple of kids you're not going to be afraid to rock the boat whatsoever.
With on-the-books work, you aren't the only one getting a cut. The government gets 15.3% of your salary, before income taxes. Your company is probably making something off your labor as well. Unless you like the job, I'd try to pay those institutions as little as I can.
Everyone should clean their own homes and cook their own meals anyway. Where the hell are you all finding men incapable of doing these basic chores anyway? Laundry, OK, but cooking and dish-washing are mostly male trades.>>252217
And I was coming in here to complain that no one had given me work in weeks and it was making me fear for my job.
Maybe we should swap.
You need to tell him the truth. It's not good for you to suffer to keep someone else happy.
This man needs genuine therapy if he's attempting suicide so often, and it's not on you to keep him from doing so. That's too much stress on anyone. You should definitely be supportive of him, but please don't put your desires aside to keep him 'ok'. You aren't the one to determine if he lives or dies, ultimately it's his decision. He really needs to seek a professional form of help, it's not OK for him to use you as 'life support'. There's a difference between being able to vent, and just using someone to try and 'feel better'. It's beyond just feelings, it's genuine mental illness, and no one can fix that for him, he needs to fix himself.
I mean, I know some people become gross after moving in together but surely people see each other’s homes and then live together before getting married.
It doesn’t seem likely that guys wait for ten years and then suddenly becomes a pig. You’d notice someone who doesn’t pick up after themselves or ever offer to help out while dating them.
Not totally related but imo whoever is home the most should take care of the house regardless of gender. Never ever 100% responsibility, I mean the weekly shit like vacuuming and dusting. Anyone who refuses to do much as pick up their dishes is a dick.
I understand that a lot of women are trapped in situations where they’re being taken advantage of. It’s just the false dichotomy of all men and all women. An all or nothing rule doesn’t work when you apply it to people.
I’m not saying aww poor widdle men are
all innocent protect them from the big mean feminists. I’m saying it’s false to claim every single member of any group share a single characteristic or behaviour. It’s not even about the gendered stuff so much as bad arguments.
what are we even fighting about now?
some women enjoy and make better housewives, some women enjoy being a career woman and prefer it over being a housewife, why people are so frickin stuck on screeching at women to become submissive, babymaking, housewives and not focus on their career or that makes them lonely bitter "Carrercels" is beyond me
especially with a world as overpopulated as ours, don't these same dipshits argue about how fucked our economy is.. while encouraging even more overpopulation then there already is just for the sake of tradition because for some reason, if women choose to become housewives or not, offends men if they don't
don't even get me started on the obsession with womens reproduction organs and thinking that if a woman doesn't marry and impregnate herself with the first guy she sees her eggs will turn into raisins, if women are happy with their career or housewife, let them be, who the fuck cares about if they wanna shoot out crotchspawns or not, there's 7 billion people in the world, even if half of women chose not to reproduce the human race still won't die out, if that's even what they're worried about but I doubt it, rather they're just arguing about women not all choosing to be submissive housewife fairies
Had a shit day at work
>starts off I forget my wallet at home, moving apartments so I could only find one pair of pants
>get dress coded
>"maybe the rest of the day won't be so bad"
>one woman drops her dessert, when I asked what it was she said apple pie, then I later ask again to confirm before getting her a new one
>it comes out, give it back, wait tables for a bit
>boss comes in and yells at me how it wasn't apple pie it was mud pie, and now we have to give her a new one
>"she said twice it was apple pie"
>boss doesnt listen
>one guy calls and order take out, when I asked him to clarify his order he hung up, called again, i assumed he hung up accidentally but when I told him we didnt serve a special he wanted he hung up rudely again
>get a flat tire going home
Someone please assure me I won't get fired, im super anxious ever since I left work the second I go back I'll get fired, I tried busting my ass throughout the day to makeup for it as well
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I moved in another country a month ago to work as au pair, officially for a year. My friends and family think I'm living the life, since I post a lot of travel pics on instagram, but the truth is that I'm feeling fucking miserable. The job is stressful, the pay is shitty, especially compared to the high prices of stuff here, the child I'm looking after is Satan's daughter herself and I'm far from the people who love me. I'm already making friends, but it's still that shallow level of friendship that doesn't make you feel actually loved. During the night I often dream of being at home, in my bed, then I open my eyes and see this room. Every day there's at least 5 minutes where I start sobbing like a baby. I scroll through my sister's profile and I start crying. My mom calls me on the phone, I see her name on the screen and start crying. I recall the last day before moving, the coffee with my best friend and the cake that my sister made, and I start crying. During the day I'm often feeling tired, don't talk much, and go to bed at 10 pm hating everything that made me do this choice. I spent a lot of money for this travel and I'm regretting every bit of it. It's been just a month but it seems like an eternity to me.
Now I'm stuck in this situation where if I go back home I won't be this stressed anymore and will have my friends and family back, but my hometown is also Bumfuckville itself, there's no jobs and no future. While if I stay here I might be able to find roommates and another job (since the % of me actually doing the au pair job for the entire year are extremely low) and also my miserableness might just be a phase of adjusting to a new place.
Anyone here has ever been through the same thing? Are my feelings normal and "just a phase" or should I be taking them more seriously?
>>252399>boss comes in and yells at me how it wasn't apple pie it was mud pie, and now we have to give her a new one>"she said twice it was apple pie"
I'm legitimately upset for you because unless she was just a retarded geriatric, that greedy bitch obv just wanted a comped dessert and threw your ass under the bus. People are scumbags.
Let me guess, she still ate the apple pie even though it's not what she wanted eh? Ugh.
That sucks Anon. I feel you. When moving abroad for a while, I went through the first phase of being super happy, loving the feeling of being a little jetlagged and finding everything fantastic even though it's not that different from home, then starting to be homesick and daydreaming about coming home every day. Then I started hanging out with people my age (and mostly from the same country) and I felt a lot happier and more carefree.
You probably have very little free time but maybe get back into a hobby you usually have at home, to get out of the "I hate this place" rut I'd spend days painting in my room and it helped me remember things can be fun even if I'm in a country I don't like.
Also I think it gets harder right after one month (so right where you are) because the novelty of being abroad has worn off? So maybe it will get a bit easier as time goes on.
Also I get what you mean about friendships being superficial. Like even though I fucking loved going out with my friends abroad, we're hardly in contact anymore. Hell, it was a bit awkward to meet up again with some of them back home lol. But even this shallow, just for fun friendship is better than nothing imo. Also I'd recommend meeting people from your own country if you can, or people in similar situations. There might be facebook communities like "Xians in (country)!", or "Au pairs in (country)". Could be nice to see you're not alone.
Sorry for rambling, not sure if this is even helpful. I wish you a lot of courage and good feelings though, stay strong!
Went through something similar anon when I did my masters degree. Moved up North but I was the only person on government grants and could only afford the shittiest, most dirty horrible place to live with 30 other people (immigrants mostly who were noisy and aggressive all hours of the day). The room was tiny - just a bed and a chair. The tap water made me sick. It was constantly being broken into. Like being in prison. Had no friends or family nearby and everyone at uni was really snobby.
That was only a year too, but my mental and physical health really suffered that year - I had to go back on medication, my hair fell out in clumps and I got diagnosed with stress-related IBS which I still deal with. It wasn’t worth it for the mediocre degree I got (turns out I struggled to focus in an environment like that). I cried every single day, it was so stressful. Going home at the end knowing I would never have to go back was the most amazing feeling.
So anon, I would stick it out if you truly can cos a year is a short time in the grand scheme of things, but if you’re just doing it for appearance’s sake or because home is boring, then what’s the point? Seriously, it’s not worth your health or happiness, and there’s no reason you can’t do it later on in life if you regret going home. Everyone tells you these things are the time of your life and amazing opportunities, but only because it seems like the right thing to say.
Only you can know for sure whether you can tough it out but remember that life is long and you can always try again when the circumstances are better. Feel better soon anon x
I'm just about fed up with this fandom server I moderate. One other mod doesn't do shit, and the other is sort of a pushover who doesn't like conflict and gets swayed easy with asspats so is always up to me to deal with the issues that goes on.
Tired of all the shitposting and spam that goes on in the main channels caused by a particular group of spergs. Usually I'm fine with shitposting since I would do it myself every once in a while but no these members are always posting the same overdone jokes/memes/seizure gifs every single day. Giving them warnings doesn't work since the other two useless mods always enable their behavior and spamming.
I feel bad the most for those members who do nothing wrong and just want to have discussions/fangirl over fandom stuff but these fucking spergs always ruin it with their nonsense.
Oh and just want to mention these spergs are in their late 20's . Yet act and write like 12 year olds with the "zomg so randumz XDDD" humor
I feel petty sometimes for getting worked up over it, but this server started as a pretty fun place to share headcanons/fanworks/ideas but is just been going downhill since this group joined that contribute absolutely nothing but nooo I'm the buzzkill I guess for wanting to keep things organized.
>>252591> Got myself a new computer after month of a shitty one.
Cool, can you share your specs?
Also, which game did you want to buy?
In my company we had about 10 people quit in the last 6 months. I still do not understand their motivations and I have a bad feeling about this all. I am a newbie myself so I have no idea how to find out more.>>252445
yeah, on instagram everyone has a perfect life…
I'm so damn angry at myself. I could have a very nice life, but still never feel happy.
My room is super nice, my family is lovely and I'm somewhat smart. As a child I was so happy, had many hobbies, friends, I was athletic and the best in my class.
I don't feel suicidal or even really depressed, but I can't remember the last time I was truly content.
My biggest problem is a kind of mentality that I've had for a few years already: Not now, tomorrow.
Just having to do something little like a phone call is enough to ruin my whole day.
I don't like going to classes, but I would be okay with it as long as I don't have to study for an exam or prepare a presentation, he annxiety because of this is enough to make me feel down for weeks.
Sometimes my dad making a 'mean' joke destroys my mood for the rest of the day.
Whenever I go to Uni I constantly compare myself to all the pretty and happy girls there, it feels as if my looks are the only thing i thought about for the last 10 years. But instead of doing something to improve myself, like going on a diet or even just doing little hygenic things like brushing my teeth I always think 'tomorrow'.
'Tomorrow I'm gonna study'. I wouldn't need to study a lot when I actually start or do something at all, I manage to get it done quite quickly, yet I still dread it so much every single time.
Or when some girls at Uni start talking to me I always think 'Not now, not this week, today I look ugly, I barely slept, I don't feel confident enough to talk more to them, next time I'll try my best.' But of course that never happens.
I'm wasting so much time. No idea what I'm waiting for. That I wake up tomorrow and magically feel all better? No idea…
Something I forgot: many anons on here mention being lonely and write 'My bf is my only friend!'. I wish I had at least one of that, either friends or a bf, but I only have my family. So what is gonna happen when I graduate and have to move out? That makes me so scared…
Also, sorry for the typos.
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I don't know what the fuck is going on, but it seems like foundation squeeze tubes are going out of vogue and it's making me so pissed. I hate that pump shit, it's messy, cakes up, gets clogged, and inevitably makes me waste more product than the squeeze tubes. Even brands that I KNOW have squeeze tubes (etc. Nars, Mac) never seem to have them when I'm in the store. I'm just so over this pump trend D:
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This is probably not worthy of a vent but I ordered cat food and it all arrived well. The thing is that the delivery guy was really my type. Usually, the delivery guys are older men, balding and fat so I don't care about putting up an appearance, but this time I wasn't expecting a delivery this fast so I looked horrible. And just when I looked my worst, this handsome delivery dude, exactly my type, rings my bell. When I saw him through the door glass, I wanted to vomit.
I had stinky old sweatpants and a sweaty shirt from working out, my hair wasn't combed and I had my old librarian glasses on.
I bet he's laughing with his codelivery dude about a crazy stinky cat lady. Fuck.
But you should have seen him, he was exactly my type, he looked like Shaggy from Scooby-Doo just more handsome.
I started autistically screeching after I shut the door and he probably heard it too.
I don't know whether I should order cat food again and dress myself up for the next delivery hoping for the same delivery guy so I can prove that I'm not a crazy stinky cat lady and maybe ask for his number.
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>>252806>I'm getting sick of people telling me to eat a cheese burger.>I told a girl at work I was going to mcdonalds and she gave me s look of shock.
So… which one is it?
>>252806>I don't know why people assume underweight people live on salads.
We don't. We assume you don't eat anything and that's typically on the nose, we just get shocked when you go to places like McDonald's since that's notoriously unhealthy food, and people like you always say or leave the impression that you want to be in toppest health.
People are shocked because you actually did it.
But clearly if you're underweight you have a calorie deficit akin to a diet and not like what the average person eats at all. Or else you'd be an average weight.
It's not that anyone thinks you're purposefully being a spoop, you're just in denial about overestimating calories you eat similar to how fatties are in denial about underestimating their calories but claiming they're naturally overweight.
Dear skinny anons, I truly believe you (as much as I believe that the opposite exists: women who live very healthily and don't "deserve" being chubby at all, but can't help it).
But being skinny is THE beauty standard in nearly every society on this planet. So having a fast metabolism is something the vast majority (of women) would kill for. You're very, very lucky.
So can you really blame anybody for not being able to sympathize with your vent and not being able to feel sorry for you?
Being told to eat more, etc. is still a billion times better than being fat and all the problems and disadvantages that stem from it.
>>252880> women who live very healthily and don't "deserve" being chubby at all, but can't help it
Yupp, that's me.
I'm really jelly of girls with fast metabolism because I know one irl.
However, she desperately wants to put on weight and is taking all sorts of pills. I can't believe the amount of self hate she has for her body. I keep telling her that she is beautiful and that she should be happy that she doesn't need to watch her weight as many women do, but she just keeps saying that she feels unwomanly, unfeminine.
Her body is my goals and she says that for my body. I guess the grass is greener as people say. I hope she stops with the pills though.
>>252880>But being skinny is THE beauty standard in nearly every society on this planet.
Isn't it more like being thin/skinny is the beauty standard? Because as a skinny woman I've been told some weird shit about my appearance, like random family friends and relatives thinking I had an eating disorder or telling me to get surgery to get bigger breasts because I'm such a lost cause that I could be reimbursed for it by my health insurance (which is possible actually). People do make the difference between skinny and thin in my experience, kind of how people know there's a difference between being chubby and morbidly obese.
>Being told to eat more, etc. is still a billion times better than being fat and all the problems and disadvantages that stem from it.
If the problems that come with being fat is that people tell you to eat less and make other similar remarks and actions against you then it's the same problem in the first place.>>252881>she desperately wants to put on weight and is taking all sorts of pills.
These pills seem suspicious as fuck. I hope for her they don't have really dangerous side effects or anything like that at the very least.
>>252887>>252880>But being skinny is THE beauty standard in nearly every society on this planet.>Isn't it more like being thin/skinny is the beauty standard?
Uhm yes, that's exactly what I said lol. But no, I get what you're trying to say. Think of it like this: let's say the ideal BMI is 18, that's not stick thin, but still model-tier. So, even if you have a BMI of 16, which is already dangerous, you're a lot less far away from the ideal than a women who has a BMI of 24 - which isn't even overweight.
Of course some peple will tell you that you look gross if you're too skinny. But the majority only voices some fake concerns like "Eat more!", whereas overweight people are much more likely to get bullied as children, have disadvantages while applying for jobs, having problems finding a partner, and so on. You can easily mask if youre a little to bony, but nothing can magic away extra pounds.
And let's be honest, would you rather have people telling you to eat a burger and some petty women being jealous or have people snicker behind you're back and call you a disgusting landwhale, etc. Just look at how it is on this site: even if it's totally unrelated, you're always immediately called a fatty.
I have a friend who also always got the ana comments, but now she loves her weight. She eats everything she wants, can enjoy her life, she fits into everything and many guys simply are really into very thin girls.
Whereas fat girls might fight all their life against their weight, always have to hold back, feel limited in what they can wear blah blah.
At least you can eat to your hearts content, imagine being unhappy with your body AND not being allowed to eat.
Personally I'd ghost him and never look back after a comment like that, but I have zero tolerance for even the suggestion of violence.
Hope you're doing okay anon.
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Going to an event were there'll be a bunch of hot chads dressed like pic related. I'm desperate for a good dicking so wish me luck!
Okay good for you. I'm trying to vent okay? If I wear something nice or different my boyfriend will say, 'that's a lovely dress/shirt/whatever'
I have spoken to him about makeup before and he tries to listen, but he doesn't understand it and I'm not going to talk to him for an hour about cosmetics and skin care brands. He's not a dick, as I stated before, he's lovely. I just want a female friend that's all. My sisters are both married with kids and are busy with their lives and some of my other female friends have kids now too. The only ones that ever contact me usually want something or to borrow something.
Like I stated in my first post borderline types.
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During the last two or so months I had been thinking about lewd stuff and love so much more than usual.
I don't know why it is happening but I can feel it poisoning my mind already. Like it's took a hit on my productivity and more.
I feel like my puberty is late or something because I never felt like this before. At least not so regularly.
Wait I meant more like being thin/average and NOT skinny, I don't know how I typed that lmfao. But you understood what I meant so whatever.>So, even if you have a BMI of 16, which is already dangerous, you're a lot less far away from the ideal than a women who has a BMI of 24 - which isn't even overweight.
I think having a BMI of 24 is more common than 16. So some people will find a woman with a BMI of 16 harder to look at I think, if we're talking about this specific example. But that's just one example.>And let's be honest, would you rather have people telling you to eat a burger and some petty women being jealous or have people snicker behind you're back and call you a disgusting landwhale, etc. Just look at how it is on this site: even if it's totally unrelated, you're always immediately called a fatty.
Both seem equally bad. Even though I'm skinny I don't fit in the standard of beauty at all for a bunch of reasons not related to weight and that I can't even potentially change so I've never had anyone be jealous of me and I used to be bullied as a kid too for these things because children are horrible. I think it'd be more accurate to take other criteria into account when talking about specific people so here I'm talking about myself as I can't speak of others but I really can't relate to anything you say about skinny women even though they do apply to SOME skinny women.>Whereas fat girls might fight all their life against their weight, always have to hold back, feel limited in what they can wear blah blah.
That's just how you feel (general you here). Tell others to fuck off if you can, it's none of their business in the first place. Believe me it will feel good.
Also you can partake in drug use and cosmetic fillers without being borderline. I said I want
to spend my money on that, not I do
I save my money every pay and spend my days cleaning, the vent was implied that I want to do something fun for myself or I want a stable friend to hang out with on the days that I am not working, NOT including my boyfriend.
I already have hobbies like painting and I go running every 3 days.
And the borderline psychos I am referring to are the ones that want to contact me. The friends that I actually want to spend time with have moved away or have kids now.
Just to clarify.
I smoke weed with my bestie when she comes into town and nobody would describe either of us as "borderline."
Although I can't speak on the matter of cosmetic fillers.
I think it's sad how you can't fathom that normal
people smoke weed like how normal
people like to indulge in alcohol, cigarettes, etc.
Maybe if you're really insecure and hate yourself it's normal, but I don't know why you want to be like that.>>253406
Enjoying getting drunk regularly isn't normal, and smoking cigarettes definitely isn't normal unless you want cancer.
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So tomorrow I'm going to have a hangout/date with the girl I like, I'm nervous as fuck lol. And of fucking course a pimple had to pop up on my face the day before.
Welp, I hope it goes well. She's gorgeous and I don't think I'm even in the same league
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So I just noticed that I got banned from crystal cafe, probably because I made a few posts criticizing prostitution. What a fucking joke.
It's because the trannies on that site can't handle anything remotely feminist.
I would've never noticed this myself, but when another anon pointed it out, them acting all "uwu I'm sooo girly and sensitive~" suddenly made sense…
How do I get over the fact that the people I know from high school are living their life, traveled a lot, treat themselves all the time and hang out with their friends all the time whereas I've always been too poor and was treated like shit by my family to do anything I always wanted to do so now as an adult I barely achieved my dreams or goals? It's not just jealousy because I'm just frustrated in general about my situation even though I'm trying to improve it by working and saving money, but seeing these spoiled kids on social media talking about their lives makes that frustration even worse. >>253488
CC had so much potential and it's such a slow and "uwu positivity" imageboard that I decided to stay here. You're not missing much from it.
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I've been sporadically posting there since around the 3rd month it was open, defended it occasionally while I admitted it had its fault but now I'm convinced it's a tumblr-tier hugbox.
Like really, ya gonna ban someone for stating that the CEO of backpage was willingly facilitating child prostitution? It's just the truth.
I could have been banned for something else, but I doubt it. That was the last interaction I had on there.
I'm pretty sure they wiped my entire post history too. I went back to the cute girls thread to grab a picture I posted and everything I contributed was deleted.
What a mess.
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What the fuck girl love yourself
You sound like a bitch. It's a vent thread, not a judgmental cunt thread.>>253642
Anon, if it's not too late, an abortion is the best bet, you do not sound ready to have a child.
I suggest you take time to work on yourself and maybe get some counselling. The last thing you need to do is pursue a relationship. I know it sounds easier said than done, but I suggest you keep away from your exes. If it's too late for an abortion, look into being a surrogate for someone/adoption. You need to try and educate youself and going from relationship to relationship will stop your personal growth.
I hope it all works out in the end.
I struggled with this for years and I know some anons will roll their eyes, but forcing myself to wake up early helped my sleep pattern a load. If you can, try and get some cardio and sunlight, it helped my insomnia so much and the cardio was fucking awful but I started doing it every second day, and I started to notice sleep pattern changes by the second week. I weened myself of seroquel and it was hell, but I was almost back to normal the second month.
One more tip that has helped the actual quality of my sleep and I swear by this…drink about 450mls of water before bed. I don't wake up groggy the next day at all and actually feel refreshed from the sleep.
Not that Anon but thanks for replying kindly. It sounds like she's being kicked around, metaphorically speaking, by dumb guys and she needs to prioritize herself. Other Anons were pretty mean about it. YOU FIRST >>253642
These guys are massive time suck waste of time black holes, especially your most recent ex claiming he's in love with your best friend or some shit. He sounds like utter trash. Prioritize yourself and don't let this drama get any messier on your end
Anon already specified that they were insecure.
I disagree that fillers are not normal, as some people just get them as you would a haircut every few months or a new outfit ect. It's just a change in appearance. Getting loads of plastic surgery or fillers is questionable, but even then, there is people who just like to change their appearance, not even from insecurity,they just like the way it looks.
Also, the other anon said she smokes a joint when her best friend comes into town, not regularly like you stated.
Quit being a bitch. People are venting and instead of actually offering constructive criticism, you are just being on a high horse and being judgemental about everything.
Agreed. I have nothing against straight edge folks but what's with all the bitches on their high horses in here?
>smoking weed is stupid>you sound dumb>noone wants fillers unless they are insecure basket cases>you are a moron
Offer some constructive criticism or fuck off. You people sound like Greg.
>>253730>Offer some constructive criticism or fuck off.
Nta, but we all learned that drugs are bad at school, there's nobody who doesn't know already.
So, how exactly should anybody offer constructive criticism towards an adult who knowingly ignores all that and still does this shit? What else could anybody say besides stating that doing it despite all the warnings is pretty dumb?
Maybe word it a little better?
>Geez anon, drugs aren't the answer, maybe try joining a social club to meet friends, do this, do that, try this.
>drugs are bad you fucking idiot, you are not normal
The anon in question didn't even say that they were doing drugs. If you actually read the intial vent, they stated they had been sober for 2 months and wanted
to act on these things.
Also, I think a lot of people are bias about the subject. Not every person becomes addicted to drugs, and drugs like weed and psychadelics are fine for some in small doses for recreational use.
The anon venting probably shouldn't do them as their vent implies that they have an addictive personality, but all the people here acting like sharing a joint with a friend once in a blue moon is destructive really sound ignorant and sheltered.
Do I believe mind altering drugs should be taken every day?
Should people prone to depression smoke weed or take drugs?
But to make the assumption that every person who smokes weed or god forbid gets cosmetic fillers is a crazy psycho who is not 'normal' is a generalization and very ignorant.
>we all learned that drugs are bad at school, there's noone here that doesn't know that already
Yeah, okay, yet there's a whole thread where farmers talk about their drug use and experiences, so maybe you shouldn't try and speak for everyone? Instead of shaming someone for something you have no idea about.
Sorry if I sound angry, just annoyed that people just type a flat out insult/judgement, without offering any advice or just being kind in general. Like that pregnant anon before, people were straight out nasty instead of just saying nothing at all or being helpful.
Some of the greatest musicians, artists and critical thinkers in history have taken drugs.
You have an obvious bias.
People take drugs for all different reasons. To expand their views, to enhance their experiences, to have fun, to feel more creative.
I respect those who do not want to take drugs, and I think that drugs are not for everyone, some people have control issues with substances.
Some people are negatively impacted by drugs, but you are generalizing drug users as a whole.
>>253748>Yeah, okay, yet there's a whole thread where farmers talk about their drug use and experiences, so maybe you shouldn't try and speak for everyone? Instead of shaming someone for something you have no idea about.
Are you seriously trying to say that anons who buy and take drugs don't know that they're bad…? Of course they know and yet they do it, what more is there to say? They might try to tell themselves that it doesn't harm them or that weed isn't really a drug anyways, but initally all of them were warned - if not at school, at least the fact that all of these substances are illegal should be enough to stop them.
Also 'shaming' somebody who does drugs? Unless you grew up in a druggie household and started injecting at 12 I'm not gonna feel sorry for you.
>Sorry if I sound angry, just annoyed that people just type a flat out insult/judgement, without offering any advice or just being kind in general.
Quite hypocritical I must say… My inital post was written very calmly despite you being 'mean' to the anon above me and now you still act as if stating that kids get told drugs are bad = trying to speak for everyone. Not exactly 'kind' either…
But it doesn't matter anyways.
The only person I ever knew who smoked weed (no idea where you live that this is seen as something so normal and many do it…) got her whole life ruined because of it. So no matter how many try to tell me that it's harmless, it did enough damage to her.
bro, do you know anything about how weed works? the person is totally at fault for letting that shit get out of hand. you sound super immature to be blaming weed and assuming that it's all bad/everyone is like your friend. kneejerk reactions like that are also a good indicator of your personality.
my mom smoked weed and was a piece of shit throughout my childhood and i had your line of thinking in you know, middle school. but guess what, it's cause she's shit, not the weed.
>>253752>we also learned that sex is bad.
Maybe they tell you that in the US, but not anywhere else…>>253755>Some of the greatest musicians, artists and critical thinkers in history have taken drugs.
And some of the greatest musicians, artists and critical thinkers also died because of them.>To expand their views, to enhance their experiences, to have fun, to feel more creative.
Is it so wrong to believe that one should be able have fun and enjoy life in general without having to rely on drugs? And of you need them to be creative then maybe you're not a good enough artist to begin with.
I started smoking weed at 21/22. I was abused growing up. I went on antidepressants at 26 and came off them in Feb after a year on them and they fucked with my memory, focus and metabolism. I feel much better off of them.
I study pharmacology and tbh I'd much prefer to treat myself with a plant that we've evolved along side of with a system of receptors designed specifically for cannabis molecules. I was at a very low point in my early 20s and to be perfectly honest if I didn't start smoking weed I'd probably have done what a few in my family have.
I'm pretty sure my family are susceptible to depression and weed keeps me lifted and motivated. I've done shrooms and LSD. The LSD did nothing for me not sure if it was what I took, but I never felt the desire to try again. The shrooms sorted me out, I only do them like a couple of times a year if even and they always give me a clarity and opens me up to be more receptive.
Coke and meth I've tried. I hated both and the coke made me extremely angry, I never did anything on them but I told those I was around it was making me very angry. I just watched TV and smoked weed til it the effects went away. I'm not a big drinker since it usually depresses me.
A number of psychotics are used to treat mental illnesses. The man made drugs are standardised while human biochemistry is not. It's like finding a needle in a haystack at the moment if you want to treat yourself with antidepressants that's why several therapies are used along side. I've had a number of different therapies performed by a therapist, but I can't erase my past and that's what fucks me up. I understand it happened and I can't change it, but I can't change my innate reactions to things now since my abuse happened from ages 7-19. I reckon if i didn't smoke weed at 21/22 I would never have had the motivation to stick at employment and not give up on myself because I nearly have several times
You said 'we all know' and 'everyone' learns that drugs are bad at school. So yes, you are
trying to speak for everyone despite a lot of others disagreeing with you.
You are literally leaving out the few posts that actually stated that they respect the choices of those who choose to not take drugs and be straigt edge.
Some people in this thread have actually said they have nothing against non drug users yet you seem to think everyone is against you because not everyone is agreeing with you that all drugs are bad and only terrible people take them.
Trust me the water thing has been an absolute game changer. Try to drink more than 250mls but don't drink too fast or too much that you'll need to get up and pee in the middle of the night.
They glossed over and ignored anything that didn't fit their agenda. To be honest, I actually think it was a child since >>253432
shows they hate drinking and cigarettes too.
I get what you mean though, my friend's mother in law is like that, drinks alcohol CONSTANTLY but wanted to kick him out of the house because she found a tiny nug of weed in his sock drawer. He wasn't even a regular smoker either.
She's the loud 'cool' mom who always has a glass of wine and tries to force you to drink and all her friends have ciggys but goes apeshit if she ever caught her son/family member with a joint.
>>253783>i knew anon wouldn't respond to this cause all she wanted to do was pat herself on the back for not liking illegal things.
Maybe I no longer felt like "fighting" against you since all you do is accuse me of being a child anyways? Or perhaps I simply don't have the time to spend all day on lc waiting for your responses. >she probably thinks that cigs and alcohol are just fine too since they're legal!
Feel free to think whatever you want about what I might think.
Anon, but all you
do is accuse others who take drugs,to be pieces of shit though? It doesn't feel nice to be generalised does it?
But they weren't fighting with you. They asked what was your opinion on pain medications.
I believe someone else asked for your opinion on anti depressants as well but you avoided that question too.
>>253806>Anon, but all you do is accuse others who take drugs,to be pieces of shit though?
No. These are my posts:>>253740>>253759>>253767>>253774
To summarize:>I said everybody knows drugs are bad>"Don't speak for others">You can't tell me that people who actively buy and take drugs aren't aware of their dangers. But they choose to ignore those and instead try to tell themselves that they do no harm - and that's stupid imo>Then I gave the example of my friend ruining her life>"Only a child would be dumb enough to believe that drugs are harmful"
I said it's stupid to do something despite it even being illegal - not that those people are 'pieces of shit'.>>253809
If medicaments are prescribed to you by your doctor because you're ill then you should obviously take them. There's a huge difference between this and smoking weed to simply have fun or feel more creative.
Also, I 'avoided' several posters because there were simply too many.
You keep saying that everybody knows that drugs are bad but there are literally people in the thread arguing that very point.
What's wrong with smoking it for fun? How is it stupid? You only give one example of a girl you knew who ruined her whole life apparently from smoking weed.
This. I knew a guy who was not a drug user whatsoever and had depression and anxiety attacks. He was prescribed meds BY A DOCTOR and he became hooked on them.
My brother also became hooked on painkillers after having a car accident which left him with a shattered hip.
But no anon is sooo right. You shouldn't smoke the devil's lettuce for fun but doctors are always correct, gobble up whatever medication they give you!!!
Seriously, what do you want me to do?
No matter what I say, you won't change your opinion and seem to never stop, probably unless I convert to smoking as well.
I do take meds when I'm ill and so far nothing happened, so I'll continue to trust my doc, period. By that logic 90% of the the world's whole population would be addicted to meds.
How is me giving an example of my friend's life going to shit because of weed any less "legit" than that guy you know and your brother's getting ruined because of prescription meds?
I learned at school that even taking 'light' drugs like weed can damage your brain longtime - harder drugs are obviously way worse. And therefore I think it's wrong, irresponsible and dangerous to risk that happening just for fun or art.
Sorry, but I trust my former teacher more than girls on an anonymous board telling me that it's fine and harmless.
This will be my last post on this topic. So accuse me of being a dumb child, a coward for not responding to you, whatever you want.
Shouldn't you be glad that there's one person less who's buying your precious leaves, more for you instead.
Noone is trying to get you to convert. Noone cares that you don't smoke. I don't even smoke lol.
People are just commenting on your snotty attittude and that you think you are right. You keep saying that it's stupid and dangerous to take drugs when you have clearly never been around a responsible drug user. Instead you have been around ONE person who ruined their life with weed and you don't even explain how. You know absolutely nothing about the subject you keep bashing except the anti drug education in school. There is such thing as responsible drug use. Youjust don't know shit.
>>253824>i do take meds when i am sick and have never gotten addicted
You don't state which medications dumbass. Obviously shit like antibiotics don't count
>by your logic 90% of the world's whole population would be addicted to meds
Holy shit you are ignorant. No, that's not what the point was. They were saying that all the addicts they have ever met have STARTED on medication that was prescribed by a doctor because you said that drugs were fine if prescribed by a doctor. They didn't say ALL people who have ever existed get addicted and are still addicted to pain medication.
Honestly you argue like Onision. Are you a fan of his?
Thanks but I already knew that>>253647
My parents died when I was young. I don’t have any close family>>253654>>253661
Too late for abortion at this point. I found out pretty close to the cut off point as I haven’t had periods for a long time due to birth control and didn’t really have any symptoms. Went to the consultation and booked/cancelled an abortion twice. I’m pro choice as hell but I couldn’t do it. >>253682
Thanks anon, I know you’re right and I’m starting the process for adoption. I want to do what I can to make the situation less shit for the kid. I guess I’m just whining because the way to fix my issues seems so much more complex. The situation has made me lose a lot of faith in people and I understand that I need to fix myself. Just going through a stage of depression I guess
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The girl I like is ghosting me after we hung out the other day. Kinda hurts. Wondering what did I do wrong
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I get angry when I'm arguing with someone who says a strong opinion like it's fact, but later when their argument crumbles apart they act like they were just talking subjectively the entire time.
>"If x then necessarily y."
>"N-n-no I meant that I think x then y, not that everyone thinks that way or that it's always right. I mean t-that's just me!"
No, fucking just admit I have a point. People aren't stupid and can see through that transparent crud.
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>miss my boyfriend while hanging with friend(s)
>miss my friend(s) while hanging with boyfriend
I'd start hanging out with them at the same time (they actually get along very well), but one of the friends is pretty flirty with me (he just likes teasing me a lot and calling me cute, it's kinda nice), and I know it wouldn't go down well with my boyfriend if he had to hear it.
Asking the friend to tone it down would be too awkward for my anxiety to allow. I don't know how to maneuver around this.
Eh…It's a bit of both. He's naturally insecure and admits it, but I wouldn't really blame any guy if he bristled at some of the things the friend says. It basically just toes the line. For a tamer example, I called something cute and neat at one point, and he said something like "You're a cute NEET" (though I'm not even really a NEET). He also talks about my awkwardness being "adorable" a lot, and we sometimes talk about porn/sexual stuff (my bf actually does the last one with one of his female friends, but I'm pretty sure it's the one that'd worry him the most just because it's me).
A double date might be a good idea. I've never actually met his girlfriend, but I'll see if I can make things happen.>>254601
Yeah, I'll try to set things up with him and some other friends instead. Kind of a shame, since my bf liked this guy a lot initially. They'd make a good pair of friends.
No offence anon, and I'm trying not to judge your friend because I don't know him or the full situation, but your mate sounds a bit creepy. None of my male friends would say things like that, with the exception of one who later told me he used to have a massive crush.
I no longer trust this friend because he comes across as the type that is waiting for me to break up so he can collect the scraps. He seemed like a harmless jokey friend too and I thought i knew him, but he did/said all kinds of things that were red flags.
My other male friends know this kind of behaviour isn't right and would never call me 'cute' or talk about porn because they know I have a bf. Sex talk is fine, but I do think it's a bit inappropriate with someone who calls you cute as a joke or with your male friends.
Ask yourself, would you be cool with your bf hanging with his best friend she's joking that he's cute, and talking about porn together?
If not, then you can see what I mean.
Maybe your friend isn't a creep and I'm seeing things that aren't there, but if he's that important to you, perhaps he's the one you actually have chemistry with and he should be your boyfriend? If not, then you probably should talk to him about not talking that way when the boyfriend is around.
I am not jusging you, I often find it nice when a customer/random flirts with me or calls me cute. I even feel a bit guilty even though I woukd never cheat, sometimes I want to joke/flirt back. I wouldn't feel the same way if it was a friend though, I'd feel as if there is ulterior motives.
I'm neither a slut nor an assblasted biddy who's so insecure about my bf cheating that I attack other women.
I've been happily together with my bf and been living with him for four years. Sorry poopsie <3
Well you must be the anon who tried to tone police me in the other thread, otherwise I don't see how replying to a post venting about shitty board arguments is "bringing an argument" here.
You're the one who threw names first, and now you wanna act like you're hurting.
Knock it off if you care about it so much.
what am I supposed to think when a car goes up and down the street several times then fucks off when I take a picture of their license plate?
the world isn't exactly a safe place anon, almost anyone would have been creeped out by that especially since it was night and I don't exactly live in a ~safe sheltered environment~ like you seem to do
I'd rather be "egotistical" than to get kidnapped, I'm guessing women who get suspicious when a big guy in a hoodie follows them around are also egotistical, or if someone buys self defense are they also egotistical? because apparently attacks don't exist
I used to feel like this too anon and always feel like people are staring. A lot of it was my self esteem and scared of being judged. As I got older it got easier. Having your phone or music to focus on makes it easier but other anon is right in saying worrying about cars circling you is paranoid.
I have no doubt you are self concious, so anon saying 'you think you are special' is a bit rude…it just seems like you are insecure is all. Try not to worry, people are so wrapped up in their own lives to actually pay attention to you.
it annoys me when people stare, not that "i think im special and need to get over myself" or anything, I don't get why you think the only possible reason why someone would be annoyed by staring is because they think they're special, and it's not a feeling either since I've literally had friends point out people who were staring at me before
the car was concerning but mostly because I live in a place were attacks are common and I was taught to beware of things like that
I think she was right to be scared about the car thing. It sounds shady.>>254878
It's human nature for people to stare. Sometimes it's imagined to be worse than it is due to poor self esteem, other times it's because of crazies. I remember once I was on the bus reading and some lady was glaring at the side of my head and almost stuck her face in my book. Another middle aged woman at the shops did the same thing because I'm pretty sure she thought I was trying to shoplift.
I'm not saying you are lying nor do I think you are crazy, these other anons are harsh, but people will stare and you need to learn to overcome this fear or it'll ruin your life.
She might be having a panic attack or feeling anxious or scared so she's removing herself from the situation?
Or maybe she's paranoid and it's irrational? Either way, telling her to quit thinking she's special or fucking nuts is cruel. She said before she lives in a dangerous neighbourhood.
Gosh, what with all the nasty pasties in here? Have some empathy for godsake!
>>254885>she thinks people give a fuck about her she's fucking nuts
I stated it was because staring annoys me… not because I think I'm a special snowflake or whatever, on the same page right? not because i think I'm special, it just annoys me? great>>254880
you're right it's not normal and overreaction but it makes me extremely uncomfortable and annoyed>>254883
I'm trying, it's just the unknown of what they think or what they do terrifies me
Also, thicc IS in at the moment in mainstream media, but there is still plenty of pressure to be stick thin. Look at the Victoria secrets models and all the vogue girls…frail af.
And other anon is right, it's called mental illness. Obvious as fuck,
Agree to disagree, I swear it's only the 15 to 25 age demographic that care about this thicc bullshit.
She could try and eat a bunch more, but even then the whole thicc thing is retarded, it's like unrealistic kim k, nicki minaj waist training, surgery bodies. I'm all for skinny girls and bigger girls, and I'm not saying hourglass girls don't occur naturally, but all this thicc bullshit is over the top jessica rabbit looking grotesque in my opinion. Kim k has a disgusting ass. Why would anyone want that?
Being naturally slim is way healthier for that anon.
I mean, unless she's having side effects…then she should probably see a doctor.
Pretty much every trend is unrealistic for the average person, most women didn't managed look like Nicole Ritchie during the skeletor era.
I think most people look better with some fat and muscles on them, it's youthful and sexy but obviously that's just my opinion.
I'm basically over any trend that's about appealing to men at the core.
There's not a doubt in my mind that most people getting surgeries and doing ridiculous diet/exercise routines to be considered 'thicc' wouldn't be doing that if men didn't like it.
Say about ten years ago when anyone who wasn't on the lower end of average was considered fat.
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I want to kms so bad.
My best friend of 9 years is so different now thanks to her piece of shit bf. We had a falling out last year and started talking again after about 4 months, and in that time she turned into a completely different person. Her bf lives with her now in a different city and every time I talk to her it feels like she's just turning into a female version of him. It's so shitty and I hate her bf for it. I hate absolutely everything about him and to see her act exactly like him hurts me so bad. She was the only real friend that I had.
Put my two weeks notice in at my new job. The women that I'm working with are so incredibly rude. I'm probably just a pussy, but I've cried after every single shift there so far. I'm debating on if I should actually finish my two weeks or just not show up for the rest. Everyone keeps saying that I should finish and that they'd be "so proud of me." But I'm having trouble even getting out of bed in the mornings to go. I feel pathetic knowing that it's hard for me to do something so simple and go to work like everyone else has to.
My bf's friends have also been driving me nuts lately. I know that they all don't like me very much, and I always feel bad whenever my bf tries to convince me that they do. Especially since it's so obvious that they don't. I feel like they don't just because I'm not into smoking weed (mainly because I can't get over the taste), but that's a pretty dumb reason lmao. There's this new girl in the "group" that has tried to hit on my bf with me present and I guess apparently no one likes her (based on the way they were talking about her) but yet she still gets invited to everything and I don't. I know why, but I'm still super bitter about it. I wish she would just gtfo and I just wish that they would all like me but whatever. There isn't much I can do in this situation.
Also school and student loans but I haven't even been accepted yet so idk yet with that stuff.
This all feels so stupid to be upset about but I've got no one to talk to except for my boyfriend. I'm so stressed out about everything that I've been getting sick almost everyday. Idk what to do anymore.
I know right. It makes me think it's the same people who keep sperging on every thread.>>254959
Seriously hate this kind of people. Sounds like he's of these edgy kids who make fun of everything/everyone and sulks when he becomes the butt of jokes.>>254963
Drop him, sis. It's not worth the stress if it's just an online friend. You can do better.>>254986
That sounds tough, anon. Can't you make some friends online? It may not be the same but can be of help. And tbh your bf's friends don't sound like good people to hang with at all, I don't think you're missing out a lot.
I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time. I'm so happy that you had the courage to give your two weeks notice, though ! Ive been debating giving my two weeks notice but I always end up feeling guilty.
If you're interested in making new friends maybe try picking up an MMO? FFXIV has a great community. Otherwise there's the friend finding thread, too.
If your friend has been changing and neglecting you she isn't worth worrying about. Especially if it's painful to do so.
This site has intensified my body dysmorphia tenfold. Every time I come on here, I find a new flaw being picked apart on a cow and see the same flaw on myself. Before I started coming here I struggled, but now it’s so much worse.
I don’t even go out anymore and besides my 2 hour ocd morning makeup regimen, I can’t look in a mirror without having a panic attack, or crying. It’s ruining my life. I can’t walk outside my bedroom without a full face of makeup to hide my flaws (nasolabial folds, eye bags, ugly lips, saggy skin, now I’m convinced I’m developing jowls) I’m only 23.
I isolate myself and stopped taking pictures of myself, I don’t let others include my ugly face in pics either. I used to believe I was pretty hot because people always said I was, and I got hit on non-stop whenever I left the house, but people don’t comment on my looks much anymore and I’m hit on a lot less. Can’t figure out if it’s because I’m ugly and old looking now versus how I was at 20/21, or if it’s part of growing up.
Last week I spent 3 days in bed with every light off, every mirror covered, and cried while searching for cosmetic procedures. I now cry as I wake up and start my obsessive skincare and hair/makeup routine that I have no control over anymore and can’t stop myself from doing, even though I know I must look ridiculous being constantly excessively dolled up.
I need help but I’m too embarrassed to seek it.
And I mirror check constantly. I have to make sure my hair and makeup is “perfect” all day, I’ll even bring a bag of makeup and tools to fucking work or out and excuse myself to hide and fix myself. I get sucked into any reflective surface only to be disgusted with myself. I think everybody talks about how weird I look.
Sometimes I think about seriously harming myself, like pouring acid on my face or setting myself on fire or just cutting my face apart
Perspective: Maybe people aren't complimenting your looks as often because the opportunity doesn't arise, per se. I mean if you're isolating yourself and not being in many pictures, nobody can ever really comment. When you were more confident I bet you got out more and interacted with more people because you didn't feel like an ugly sack.
I would know.
For almost two years I shut myself in my apartment except to go to my job, gained 80 pounds, and even now I hate all pictures of myself and dread social gatherings.
A lot of the hate for how I look comes from within me. Other people are used to how I look or don't care, but that's really hard for me to accept because I'm so convinced I'm hopelessly fat and unlikable, and the negativity here is like an echo chamber for it.
I get hit on when I'm
-Not worried about what's going on around me
-Not looking at everyone, just sorta existing and doing my thing
My natural state now is looking at everyone in the eye, being aware of my surroundings, not enjoying myself and just being serious. I don't get hit on (which is good because I don't want it) but when I forget myself and relax I start to get the creepers again
Being confident and happy is the biggest way to look good. And then being relaxed, friendly and uncritical is the easiest way to get guys to come up to you. you pointed out that your attitude has completely changed - in one year? I promise you that you look the same. The only thing different is the attitude.
Being self conscious is something I used to be too, which my sister mistook for vanity and would get annoyed when I would check my makeup in the mirror. I just wear waterproof/v sturdy makeup these days so I know it isn't budging.
Everyone is just concerned about themselves. Especially now, everyone is ultimate narcissist only interested in looking good. They are so interested in themselves they have no time to judge you. I have never ever looked at a person and thought they were ugly or something. Only bad thing is if someone is rude, like barging past people, talking loudly in your face. How they look is irrelevant
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I feel trapped. My home life has been a mess ever since my parent got a divorce. I grew up in a conservative christian household, I am not a christian so it was very difficult in middle and highschool when i had zero freedom.
> My dad is verbally and mentally abusive.
He is a control freak and everything I do has to be his way or it would turn into a fight that would go on for hours, he would scream and tell me how worthless I was and how no one would ever love me and how bratty I was just because of stupid little mistakes any kid would make. sometimes it would be because i was listening to music or playing games he thought were satanic (pokemon, for example.)
my mom would never listen to me For years about wanting to not live with him anymore, I dreaded having to go to his house. I started going to therapy at some point because of all the trauma he had caused me, I was (and still am to an extent) extremely depressed and suicidal. He would ask my therapists about all the things i was telling her and when he found out i was talking to her about my dad he flipped out on me and pushed me into a wall. I called the police but there was no evidence so they did nothing to him. I finally started living with my mom full time but its not much better now. Ill get into that later.
My dad is now getting remaried somehow and i have to pretend like everything he did to me never happened. I think his wife is a very nice lady and i dont hate her or anything, its just irritating that he acts like nothing bad every happened, and i'm pretty sure he doesn't tell her about all the shit he did to me and my family beforehand.
> after living with my mom full time for a few years, I realize she isnt a very good person either.
shes not abusive like my dad was, but she barely acts like my mom. she is uninterested in anything I do, while she babies my brother and gives him anything he wants or needs. ive been having medical issues for years and years and she refuses to let me go to the doctor, she says its too expensive even thought we have insurance. it hinders me from working or doing a lot of activities and its frustrating because I cant afford anything on my own. the only food she buys is fast food for herself and my brother and lunch food for him. I completely feed myself and pay all of my gas and car bills. if i ask for any money for emergency things she screams at me and says how i just use her for money and act like her house is a hotel. I work 40 hours a week and go to school, wtf am I supposed to do?? she also shames me for everything that I do. I'm 20, and if i'm out later then 12 she flips out on me and treats me like scum. recently we got in this huge fight because I was sick one morning and she started screaming at me about being pregnant (which I am not) and she forced me to take a pregnancy test while she waited outside the restroom. she told me how dissapointed she would be if I was pregnant or how she would kick me out if I ever got an abortion. I'm stressed about this whole thing because i know she tells a bunch of my family members about things I do, like I tried ending my life and the next day the entire family was texting me about how ungodly of a thing that was to do.
> my brother is so fucking annoying i cannot handle living with him anymore.
he is babied by both of my parents, he is a total brat. he is loud and inconsiderate. all he does is play xbox, he screams at people playing games and blasts music and screeches along to it, usually starting around 8 am every day. I work a lot so i dont get to sleep in very much, but every day for the past month he has woken me up early with noise. every time I ask him to stop he threatens to hit me and screams at me that no one wants me around and that I should just leave if I want it to be quiet. he steals from me all the time, takes money from me, eats food that i buy with my own money, and no one holds him accountable for his shitty actions. He isn't gonna make it in the real world, hes a horrible person.
I wish I could just move out with my boyfriend but even working full time I cant afford it, and even if I did have the money I would be looked down upon by everyone in my family for doing so. i just want to get away from everyone and be with the one person who loves me, all my friends stopped talking to me or live far away now. I feel alone and worthless.
Anon you are not worthless, you are incredible resilient and strong.
Your mother may be better than your father was but she still sounds like a very abusive parent. it sucks that you have to deal with all that shit. I hope you can manage to move out soon and feel secure to enough to stop trying to please your family.
Also, you own nothing to your dad. He's shit and you don't have to pretend he's not just to feed his ego.
Sending you internet hugs.
>>255091>my therapist just canceled today's session
Just wanted to say I feel for you and completely understand how much this can fuck a person up.
Unrelated but I think therapists should face penalties for this.
Similar to how they bill patients for not canceling their appointments with 24-48hr notice.
Not only do I think that's bullshit, but they're also fucking around with people's mental states so there should be way more liability on their part.
Most of em don't cancel for emergencies anyway.
My "therapist" canceled my appointment via voicemail day of and I didn't catch the notification. I showed up, waited close to 3 hours for her to barge through the door with a giant bag of fast food in hand. I could tell she was embarrassed because she didn't expect me to be there and I knew then what she'd done. She just wanted a longer lunch break.>missed the rescheduled appointment the next month and the bitch didn't hesitate to bill me
Part of the reason why I was seeing her was because I was suicidal from my job, missing a lot of hours, and not making much money as a result. I called to beg them to not charge and they were ruthless.
Apparently they mistreated other patients according to the horrible business reviews, but her office was one of the only ones I could find covered under insurance.
Therapists and mental health workers can be straight up cruel, when I was a teen going to therapy I would vent about abuse from my parents, not only did she not submit it in but the word got around about it, I tried emailing her and begging her to please not tell them and instead of being understanding and keeping me safe… She forwards the email to my parents, I had to get chased by them until I left the house and was homeless for a few days, went to a mental ward because of a suicide attempt
When I saw her again she complained about me not trusting her and she asked why I wont talk to her and I said because I don't have a safe place to talk anymore and she told that to my parents too as well as accusing me of lying about getting molested as a child and trying to convince me it was a delusion despite never having delusions, I've had trouble ever going to therapy again after that to the point where when I went to other therapists all i can do is sit in the chair and stay silent
I desperately need therapy and it sucks there are no good therapists
51% of American workers make less than $30,000 a year.
You make much more than most workers in America.
You have absolutely no clue how privileged you are, and how badly people live in America outside of your privileged little bubble.
There's tons of people living off 1200 and less a month in America, living paycheck-to-paycheck almost homeless, many of them do end up homeless. Your problems are bullshit.
Damn OP, I can't even say I could support my parents even if I wanted to because my wage barely supports my own ass.
I mean your brother is a piece of shit but damn. I'd kill someone to make $2k biweekly right now.
What is their cost of living? Is this dollars or euro or something else? It sounds like for them
they have money troubles. A lot of money can be sucked up by rent, healthcare and debt and considering nobody in their family has savings on monthly 10k it would suggest that is the case.
Spelling suggests UK, Canada or Australia. If Australia the cost of living is crazy high there, you can basically halve whatever sum you have in terms of actual worth of money.
If UK they're doing fine unless debt and rent/mortgage is slugging them. Dunno about Canada or Europe
NAYRT but I don't trust therapists at all due to having a few in my personal life who regularly break patient confidentiality. My MIL talks about her patients as casual dinner conversation and doesn't even make an attempt to spare identifying details. Sometimes she'll straight up say exactly who she's talking about.
Literal example>oh hey, our garbage man is one of my patients now. He's addicted to heroin and his children now live with his mother because he's afraid they'll be taken away due to his substance abuse.
Not even the worse example.
Jesus. There should still be something you can do, blatant HIPPA violation IIRC.
Are priests any better? Was going to confess, now I might just bottle everything up instead.
God damn do I hate shrinks.
When I was in the mental hospital, back in 2009, the guy in charge of my brain told me a story about how he was keeping his wife and daughter on antidepressants because they were traumatized by 9/11. I asked him if they were nearby when the towers fell. He said yes, they lived in Philadelphia at the time.
He was saying that I was schizophrenic, only reason I got out of there was because my health insurance refused to pay for more than 8 days of inpatient treatment. Thank the good lord for corporate greed. one of the guys I was in with was on so much shit he couldn't get out of bed. Really nice kid, pretty hair and eyes. Dude was in there for having ADHD and smoking weed with his mom, that was it.
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Work stuff has me really stressing out.
>tl;dr: How do you deal with someone who is constantly harassing you at work but because she's been there for so long (15+ years), it's "her word" vs "yours" as someone who has just passed their 90 days?
An old bitter lady is trying to get me fired from my job that I started which can lead to my future career, and refuses to give me direct feedback other than complain to the big boss behind my back about it. I decided to take action and talk to everyone else to see if I need feedback and they say I'm doing fine and I could just go a little faster (my boss says they can't fire me just because I'm "slow") but this lady is starting to make up shit to get me fired, some things are really ridiculous. I talked to my big boss yesterday and told me that he's only hearing this negative feedback from this lady only and that he'll disregard it if he doesn't hear anything from the others but told me I may want to quit while I still can or possibly transfer and I'm so baffled because I'm always on my feet, asking people if they need help or prepping them for their next activity while this old bitter lady sits behind a computer and disappears from time to time.
Like I understand if I was a shit employee with shit work ethic and always hid in the back on my phone but I'm always so exhausted after work by getting near to the point of overworking myself because she doesn't do her part of the job. No one wants to say anything against her because she's been there for 15 years and is so "sweet and nice" to everyone else. I've never cried at work before but I cried so hard in front of my boss and later in the bathroom, I ended up coming home from work with a huge headache last night and decided at 8 PM to just head to bed even though I just got home.
This isn't really fair. My boss said to hold off on getting human resources involved until he can settle the case but this has been on going for so long. She just does little petty things like constantly moving my belongings somewhere else like for example, I had a desk to put my things in and sit when I have downtime but she ended up moving my desk to the very back. She's telling me I'm inflexible in my job when I've been accepting their request to cover other locations. The list can go on. She's always pretty much set me up for failure since day 1 because she was supposed to be training me and never did. I relied on others who are in the same position to help me guide me through the first few weeks.
I think even if I do get it settled with HR, I may just transfer somewhere but I don't want to leave until it's my time to leave. I have no problem with anyone at work except for this lady and I understand that there are jobs where you don't get along with a person but it's always something new with her everyday. I don't want her to "win" by making her thinking complaining about it is how you solve your problems and by making me leave but I really don't know what to do. Maybe the people really don't like me there and are just being nice to me in my face. I really don't want to think that because I enjoy most of them there but I don't want to be miserable in my job. I finally get a job that isn't fast food, related to my career, and can give me a huge step ahead into graduate school and I already feel so repulsed by my career because of this lady. I know it's just temporary feelings but I'm just venting at this point. Sorry for the long spew.
I honestly just want to fast forward to the part of my life that I'm not working and focusing solely on school or hell, give me the career already so I can really start my life up.
Don't worry anon, I'm sure you're going to meet a wonderful person someday. I admire your courage.
I have the opposite problem, I actually want to be left alone. I hate rejecting people and seeing them hurt but guys won't get a clue. Trying to get rid from a flirt from my japanese class.
I'm from the Balkans, so Europe.
4k here is around 550 euros.
We aren't dirty poor but still struggling with basic necessities and can't really afford to have more than one meal per day. Could be worse, sure, but having an unstable job really isn't helping.
I hate to say it, but there isn't much you can do. Same thing happened to my bf and he was fired despite being a great employee. He wasn't even there for a year yet. Unfortunately it really is your word against theirs and they will always protect their own. I mean why do they still have her employed if she isn't much of a help? They'll always protect her first.
I'd recommend you write everything down and if you're brought to a meeting, produce your journal. You might also want to take your manager's advice and start applying for other jobs. If you get accepted into one, you can leave that hell.
>>255193>You have absolutely no clue how privileged you are, and how badly people live in America outside of your privileged little bubble.>Your problems are bullshit.
Can people from tumblr please fucking leave? You're
the one who doesn't understand life outside of the American bubble
. Seriously this is so fucking rude and you come across as so uneducated. You could have asked her to clarity what her money was worth in her currency. Fucking yanks, this is why nobody outside of the US likes you.
I guess the summerfags are here. Between all the annoying>REEEEEEEE STOP SLUT-SHAMING ME YOU BITTER PRUDE JEALOUS FUCKING NORMIE CUNT
and this privilege shit, I wonder if a hellweek would be in order soon. They need to go hangout on cc or PULL, this is one of the only predominantly female sites that isn't full sjw and it should stay that way.
Not really, it's always the same jazz.
>Oh anon you're so sweet, kind and honest but I don't want a relationship now>Proceeds to date a model tier guy two days later
Why can't they just say I'm ugly and it's because of that, fucking cowards.
She will get away with it. The connection with my old landlord and my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend is ridiculous. My old landlord was a family friend of my ex-fiances family and I never knew my current boyfriend's ex-girlfriend even existed before she started emailing people about me.
They all work by doing freelance healing and therapy. The ex-girlfriend fucked off to Unst with some other man's baby and writes a mundane blog about her life. Feel like warning all her clients she's absolutely mental and will tell all your insecurities to anyone else to feel better about herself.
Funny how my experience of therapists is that they are all insecure cunts themselves. My old landlord is trying to be a spiritual healer too.
I can connect them all together and their fields of work, I just don't have the slander in writing. I'd love to sue them, my therapist was also dealing with my Stepmum at the time (I was in therapy because of her, my dad who is wealthy was paying for it all, so he'd be very interested to hear his family is being slandered I'm just dying for some evidence.)
>>255337>model tier guys>guys
If you're a lesbian, they're probably straight and lying about being bi.
If you're a manon…
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I'm sending resumes left and right so I can find an internship for september or october and honestly, despite the fact that I'm more than qualified for these internships, I'm sure they'll all ignore me or straight say they're not interested before setting up an interview with me. I'm starting to think I'll never graduate even though I'm seeing people with absolutely shitty grades and work ethics with some of the best internships I've ever seen. Fuck I'm so jealous, I deserve to graduate and get a job in my field instead of the shitty retail job I have now, I have the grades for that, I wish people would give me a chance too.
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I miss having friends. I've cut contact with everyone because they all kind of.. suck? Whenever we would have plans, there would be more people than I expected (they would never tell me beforehand, just ask if I wanted to hang out) even though they know I'm anxious in big groups. This happened the last ~5 times I saw them. The people they would hang out with wouldn't know me, but I was never introduced and when I'd try to start a conversation, they wouldn't even bother to try to keep it going. The only thing my friends seem to talk about is people they know (that I don't) and things they've done (that I wasn't there for). I try and switch topics but it just ends up right back where it was. I'd say it was me, and I know it is to some extent, but I have a good relationship with all of my coworkers to the point I've had managers compliment me for being pleasant to work with. I just don't get how I can have better conversations with asshole coworkers than with people who claim to be my friends.
Is it too much to ask for a friend who actually pretends to enjoy my presence?
I remember I dropped my high school friends for more or less the same reason. It's frustrating when you hang out with people who ignore you.>Whenever we would have plans, there would be more people than I expected (they would never tell me beforehand, just ask if I wanted to hang out) even though they know I'm anxious in big groups.
I love my current friends but they do that thing when we plan to hang out somewhere and they bring others with them without telling everyone. I find it annoying because even though most of the time it's not really a problem and they bring people we all get along with, sometimes we book seats for a small restaurant or for the cinema with our small group and surprise, there's not enough seats for everyone who tagged along later on. It's frustrating too.
God I fucking hate it when people do this.>"Anon you wanna hang out on Saturday? I really want to see you!">"Sure! We haven't met in ages, I'm looking forward to it!">Saturday rolls around >"I invited a few of my friends, you don't mind do you?">What>There's like 5 people I don't know and they just keep talking about their personal stuff together and don't even bother to acknowledge my presence, ignore all attempts at me trying to join the conversation>You ultimately get bored and sneak off, nobody even notices
Bonus:>Friend thanks everyone for a great evening on social media, tagging everyone present except you
Are these people just completely retarded at being socially conscious or is it just a power trip for them?
This sounds so annoying! I have a somehow opposite problem that my friends are unable to commit to any plans at all, and if they do, I'd be lucky if they even show up. They even told me that the reason they do this is because they're waiting for a better offer to come along. As in, they don't want to make any plans because they're afraid they'll miss out on some awesome party or event elsewhere, so they would rather risk end up doing nothing.
Luckily there's two others in my friend group who are annoyed by this as well, so we tend to hang out a lot while the others sit around waiting for something better to do.
>>255463>There's like 5 people I don't know and they just keep talking about their personal stuff together and don't even bother to acknowledge my presence, ignore all attempts at me trying to join the conversation
The absolute worse. The people I tried to befriend in high school were exactly like that and I stopped hanging out with them because it was just so awkward, even though they're the one who invited me to things. I don't even bother with people who pull that stuff.>>255464
I talked about small restaurants because of something that happened a few months ago and while I love my friends, I was so pissed at them and I guess I'm still not over it even though it's so silly in the end. Sorry if it's incoherent.
I asked two or three friends to go to a very small restaurant with me after work (for me since I was the only one working that day) and not only did they asked other friends beforehand before I agreed to it (because it's a VERY small restaurant), but once I booked for 6 people, one of the girls who said she wouldn't come because of some personal drama between her and someone else who wasn't even coming came after all, even though it was my friend who asked her to come and not even me!
It turned out that our reservation had been completely forgotten by the waitress so we didn't even have 6 seats side by side in the first place which wasn't that much of a problem since we went to a convoyer belt sushi restaurant, but we still couldn't stay because of the 7th person. Not only that but even though I told everyone it was a bit expensive beforehand, even the people who came because my friend asked them, they started bitching about the prices once we were in front of the restaurant. We ended up going to a shitty overpriced fast food joint instead, which was right next to my work place.
I told my friend who invites people without telling anyone to stop doing that politely because it ruined many of our outings when we couldn't plan how many we were. I think she understood because she only does that when she's the one who organize something now. You should probably talk about it to your friends next time you guys plan something, just in case they try to invite more people without asking anyone first.
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I had an interview/exam at this university and at almost the end of it, when speaking to the dean (who was a part of the entrance committee), I mentioned the name of the town I come from. He then asked if I knew a particular teacher of the subject I want to study, and I said yeah, because that was actually my school teacher.
Welp, today my teacher emailed me saying the dean had contacted her. Apparently he wrote her a letter saying how exceptional the interview was and that he hopes I'll choose to attend this particular uni.
I'm so shocked idk what to say. I think the interview went great, too (I prepared very well), but idk if emailing-my-teacher-great lol. Even she was surprised, they don't know themselves well at all (just met at a conference), so him reaching out like this… makes me feel all kinds of ways
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I haven't been feeling too great the last half year but I try my best to hide it because no one likes depressed people…
And then I get frustrated because no one cares about me being sad…heh…
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I feel sick to my stomach about ever being able to afford a house in the new area I live in. Two major companies have announced they're moving here, prices have increased %25 in the three years since I've moved here already meaning it will increase more now. No doubt that will be an increase in property tax as well. Most townhomes even have already priced me out. Bf and me already pay a ridiculous rent to be where we are.
I could move back to my hometown, which is a cultural and financial shithole, but the problem with buying a cheaper house there is that the jobs pay less as well IF one can find a job. Hence the low costs.
I feel like I'll be forced to buy outside the limits and have over an hour commute if I do ever get there. But housing prices outside are no longer cheap either because everyone else is trying to do just that now.
Worst of all, my parents are being completely naive about this situation because they're fucking boomers who had great housing markets so they have no idea what I'm up against.
Just to give an idea…
Mom's first house she bought for $21k and sold for $66k. Her second house she bought for $65k and sold for $125k. The latter was actually a very nice cape cod house by a lake in my hometown.
All these houses had multiple bedrooms and a lot of square footage.
Here? A single bed townhouse is running at least $200k for about 1,000sq.
>inb4 major city anons say this is nothing
Oh I know, that's why I tried to stay far the fuck away from the major cities. I knew this area was getting a lot of tech influx but I had no idea things could go this much to shit in a matter of a couple of years.
I'm 26 but basically I have nothing saved for a substantial down payment. Mom says she may help me but in boomer language that probably means she'll loan me about $5k hah.
I feel so fucked and I have no mentor.
I hope you don't end up $100,000 in debt with a useless degree.>>255491
There's tons of guys who will let you live in their house for free if you have sex with them.
You can find tons of ads like this on craigslist, but also people just call it a relationship/marriage.(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)
>>255503>There's tons of guys who will let you live in their house for free if you have sex with them
that's considered coercion, you fucking freak.
spread your legs to get anything you could ever dream of you silly feeemales
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I have no idea why but currently the birds around my are loud af and therefore I had such a trouble in the past days to get a decent amount of sleep after 4 AM because all those shit birds make so much noise that I can't just ignore it when I sleep. And I'm a person that wakes up of most noises around me. I'm so fucking tired and because even on my days off I can't sleep long because of that and to add, it's currently super hot here so closing the windows is not an option because otherwise it's not possible to sleep because of the heat. Fuck that. I'm literally so tired.
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you know what you have to do, anon…
god, obvious bitter maleposting never fails to remind me that men are disgusting.
>every girl's a literal whore because i say so, so why don't you just be a whore, whore?!!1!1
fuck off. leave and go fap to some more cuck porn, you weirdo. if you're so obsessed with women sleeping with other men, you've obviously got exactly the right deep-seated issues and hate that makes a man prone to cuckery. disgusting.
No, not really. They sound like the usual kind of Birds you have here in Germany I would say?
I just tried to understand why they are so loud and apparently it's because they defend their territory in the morning? What just confuses me, I live here in my place for a few years now and I never remember birds being so loud around this time of the year.
But it's really like the gather together in place and the same time and make all this - noise. Sometimes it#s like they are all in my bedroom ffs I just don't get it.
And when you manage to get a bit of sleep, you dream the most weirdest shit because you are not able to go back of having a nice calm sleep …
I'm going through the exact bullshit right now. It's too hot to close my bedroom window, but there is a tree outside of it and a singing bird that loves to chirp at 4-5am EVERY DAY. They'll of course stop around 7am, giving me 30 mins more to 'sleep' before i have to get up for work.>>255539
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>best friend tells me they are going to visit me late summer because they miss me so much
>I become excited and start talking about the things we could do
>lately I discover that the reason of the trip is League of Legends finals in Madrid (wow twitter)
>Best friend is only coming for those days (going to be 3 in total)
>Event is fucking expensive and I don't have a job, although I am into the game (lowkey) and want to see Rekkles playing irl (who my friend also likes) but I don't have the money
>Friend has already planned the whole trip without me or what we could do despite of staying at my place and is going to the event with some friends I don't know (and has not invited me), had the audacity to ask me if my friend who plays for Movistar Riders could get them into the parties with players (didn't bother to ask if I would like to join and go party with the team and them).
It has made me so upset I'm going to say I won't be in the city for those days due to work or family stuff… and I thought they were my best friend.
Aw shoot. I have no idea what the birds might be then.
I was gonna say if you knew what type they were you could figure what their food supply is, why they're there, and how long for. Sometimes I manipulate the birds in my area that I don't want with different feed/fake feed/moving objects like pinwheels. You could try hanging shiny tinsel near the source because they get freaked out by moving objects.
Here in Murrica I get lovely songbirds and mimids.
Cardinals, mockingbirds, bluebirds, finches, doves, etc. But none are too loud.
The most annoying one we get is the catbird but usually he isn't attracted towards my place unless I put out fancy bird seed that has fruits and nuts.
are you me, anon?
My best friend got in a new relationship in march and i have not seen her irl since despite living 20 min away from each other. Before that, we used to met up sometimes 2 or 3 times a week. Like I know relationship>friendships but it makes me feel like my only role in her life was to pass time inbetween relationships and I'm honestly so upset.
Just now she left me on read for 9 days after i enquired how did an even she was stressed about go and when she finally did reply it was an essay gushing about her boyfriend. I truly am happy she found someone she likes who is also equally into her but also i can't help feeling neglected and used although it's probably selfish of me. The fact that i have 3 friends in total (out of which i only regularly see one) doesn't help much.
I wish i was better at making friends but i constantly assume I'm annoying and i don't have anything in common with the people i try to befriend at uni so it never goes anywhere.
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I wish my bf could trust me to be right about some thing instead of being so insecure about his intelligence. Tbh he believes in some outright stupid things, and when I try to correct him he gets really defensive and doesn't even back down after I verify it on google.
>thought that feeding cooked rice to birds would make their guts explode and kill them
>cut his finger and complained about the bleeding not stopping, when I told him to run it over cold water he argued with me that it would make the bleeding worse due to "osmosis."
>once when we passed an airport late at night he thought the plane headlights that were lining up to land were the planets Venus and Mars…at 1am and that close to earth
He's 27. Sometimes I give it a pass because his grandmother raised him and she was kind of a delusional conspiracist towards the end of her life. Yet some of this is debunked with a bit of thought and common sense.
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I feel like such a fucking fool anons. I just moved out on my own into this small studio apartment; it wasn't my first choice but I only chose it because they allowed pet(s). All my neighbors have dogs (big and small) and one has a few cats, so I thought since I'm pretty lonely I would adopt this senior cat whose been sitting in the local no kill shelter for a few years. I message the property management Monday and they responded earlier today, Friday. They told me that the landlord had actually banned pets earlier this year so I wouldn't be allowed to bring her home. I read back through my lease and it did say the landlord could deny pets but it just seems…unfair that my neighbors can have their dogs, who barking at 4 in the fucking morning, and I can't have a cat that only has maybe 5 more years left? I also feel a bit lied to considering if the landlord made that decision at the beginning of the year, why advertise and show off the place as "pet friendly" 5 months later? The one guy who was there when I was reading and signing everything kept telling me when I'm ready to adopt to just call them and give them the pet deposit? I want to email them back but I don't know what to say? It does say right in my lease that they can do that. idk this just sucks and I wish I would've known beforehand so I could've moved into the nicer apartment by the ocean.
almost the same thing happened me when I moved into my last apartment. It was pet friendly until I moved in and they changed it last minute because the last renters didn't take care of their dog and it ruined the carpet.
I moved my cat in anyways. He didn't claw the carpet or piss/shit everywhere and they were none the wiser. Unless you have constant inspections, I'd still move the cat in. If they do inspect, you'll get a notice so you can move the cat out or just lie and say you were watching it for the week for a friend.
Hate to say this because it's 20/20, but sometimes it's not worth it to ask and pay the fee even if they do approve.
As long as the pet isn't destructive aka a dog, it's none of their business.
Thank you both of you! ;;
I'm coming to terms with the situation now. I have one more week before I meet up with my boss to discuss the situation, I'll still report it to HR even if there's an opportunity to transfer out. I want to stay because I have someone who is willing to write on their own accord a recommendation letter for my graduate program. So I'm hoping I can just bear a few more months until I get the letter and just leave.
The whole situation sucks because I asked those around me for feedback to see if they align with what she's saying but they don't because they just said to keep up the good work and be able to handle a bigger workload when we get slammed because we're picking up speed now at work. >>255316
To respond to the "why is she still there part?": She's one of those people who only do work when their manager is looking at her, she doesn't really take initiative in any other situation other than to look good in front of the boss.
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i'm just overreacting right? this happened a few months ago but I recoil every time I remember it
>cute guy goes "hey" about 5x before i actually realize he's talking to me
>asks me if i know how to take a screenshot on a macbook
>i do it all the time so i say yes and walk up to him
>realise i dont even know what keys you press, i only remember it from muscle memory and have been doing it subconsciously
>ask to hold his computer to see if it triggers my memory
>"o-oh n-no i dont actually know how"
>he says "ok, thanks anyways"
>say "your welcome" in an unintentionally hostile voice and speedwalk away
im usually better at faking normalcy but i feel like i really fucked up
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I met my now-ex at the beginning of this week for the first time since our very recent breakup, and he said he'll think about giving us another try (not "officially" get back together asap, but see each other regularly/casually date again as a start). For now, we're not talking at all for a few weeks because he wants space, and so far it's only been 4 or 5 days but it's killing me. Talking to or seeing him always made me so happy, it felt like a drug, so it's a struggle. I keep thinking about how much I want to kiss him everywhere and stroke his hair and tell him I love him. Ughhhh.
The breakup was over me being overly clingy/needy last month, and I really realized that I can't do that to a bf even if my past ones were doormats and put up with overt negativity. We had zero issues besides that and it was very sudden, so I do genuinely feel like we have a chance of getting back together and working things out, especially since I'm planning on seeing a psychiatrist again soon and just generally will get busier with positive things. I just feel so guilty for fucking up my first healthy relationship with someone who means so much to me. I've been crying over it daily because even if I'm doing other things, I can't forgive myself or get him off my mind.
Have you considered drugging and raping men before, too?
When you reach that point you'll start feeling disgust again, trust me. Or you'll break the law.
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I might have fucked up, I got dermal fillers injected in my cheeks and they haven’t been absorbed yet its been 3 years I’m terrified I destroyed my face forever
I thought you were talking about being so ridiculously horny that a song got you going, so you can empathize with incels who are essentially so horny they go insane.
So in reply I said that once you reach a similar point of entertaining the same compassionless, libido-driven actions (rape) as incels you will start feeling less empathetic.
Perhaps I misread your original post.
HELLO ACTUAL ME. holy shit. i got three syringes of juvederm in my cheeks (1.5 syringe in each cheek) almost two years ago and they haven't dissolved at all. AT ALL.
i didn't even really like the cat-woman look they gave me when i got them to begin with, but i was into looking like a plastic IG thot at the time so i kept them since they looked better than my flat cheeks in any case. i got lip fillers at the same time, and it was the same case with those - absolutely no natural dissolving happening. i went back every three months for botox re-ups and my NP was super surprised my body wasn't metabolizing the fillers but said it wasn't anything to be concerned about, i was lucky, etc.
i wound up not liking how my lips were looking at roughly the 1-year mark so i got them dissolved. biggest mistake i'd ever made. my lips were all loose and wrinkly and disgusting looking. i had lines around my lips that hadn't been there before i'd gotten the fillers and my lips FLAPPED. my injection lady repeated the usual, "oh don't worry, that's just natural aging that happened while you had the filler" - BULLSHIT, the outside of my mouth legit looked like a cat's asshole. i had to get some filler back just to not look incredibly aged at 21.
i don't want my cheek fillers anymore either, but after the lip incident, i'm incredibly scared to find out what my face would look like without them. i think part of my problem tho was that i just got wayyy too much filler. i could have gotten one syringe in my lips or even half a syringe, but i got 2.5, and i could have gotten 1-2 in my cheeks but i got 3. if you didn't go overboard and you want to get them dissolved someday, don't let my horror stories scare you anon. :')
godspeed my fellow slow metabolizer.
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I'm completely in love with a guy at my new job. I haven't had a real crush since high school.
I'm so fucking autistic that I drop spaghetti every time he even makes eye contact with me. He made an innocuous yet somewhat flattering comment to me and I could feel all my blood rush to my face, I was probably visibly blushing and now I'm worried that he knows I like him and might find me creepy.
On the other hand I feel like he's doing extra small things for me that I don't see him doing for anyone else and I don't know if that means he likes me back or if I'm looking too far into it.
I'm not going to bother making a move because I'm terrified of rejection and I don't want to make things any more weird between us. I enjoy his company. Plus I don't know if he has a girlfriend(I'll probably go home and cry if I find out that he does tbh)
Fuck this hurts so fucking much, I want to die. But at the same time I like it, I honestly didn't think I was still capable of feeling attraction.
At least this gives me a reason to get out of bed in the morning.
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Fell in love with a straight girl again
I feel you. As a teen my friends liked things with notoriously obsessive fanbases (Dr. Who, 1D, Homestuck, My Little Pony, etc.) and for the most part I could just never get into any of that and I felt left out despite not actually liking the subject of obsession. The bands I liked (classic/alt/stoner/indie rock mostly) tended to have smaller, less rabid fanbases and none of my irl friends ever wanted to talk about them as much as me.
Honestly I don't think you're missing out on much. I'm a fan of something right now with a culty fanbase (and I'm 20, for reference) and yeah it's kind of fun sperging with people online but it gets old fast if you don't have irl friends with the same interest to share the experience with.
From what it sounds like (based on your use of the words bitter, brainwashed, etc.) even if you did genuinely start enjoying something with a big fanbase and made a bunch of friends you'd probably still be uncomfortable/self-conscious about liking it and never be able to enjoy yourself fully. Just like whatever you like no matter how popular it is, fandom culture is fucking stupid anyway. I got sick of it real quick.
also>I'm too old and bitter>old
anon i think you talked to the dude who made this legendary post https://www.reddit.com/r/muacirclejerk/comments/6hnrda/dae_probably_an_incel/
the original poster was a male on MakeupAddiction, a place for women
to discuss makeup. Everyone made fun of him and the mods deleted everything. But that muacirclejerk just copied and pasted what he originally said. I refuse to believe that there are multiple men who think like this
>>255951>Red lipstick imitates pussy lips
Uhhh. Has this guy ever seen a vagina before?lmfao>blush imitates orgasm
I'll give him that kinda. Even then, I only wear it to look more alive, or does he think sex is the only activity to make cheeks red?>eyes bigger and more child-like which indicates fertility
Well thats retarded, children arent fertile, I don't know why men always have to go out their to justify features they like as being fertile, next thing you know men will fight with each other over which hair colors indicate fertility
Oh, I'm a different anon. I was lurking the thread and was confused by your reply to OP's post.
but your explanation makes sense, you're prob right, thanks lol
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>friend G asks me to be bridesmaid
>ask her who else is in the party
>she mentions a psycho cunt who caused me trouble and is a shit person
>had to decline because I never want to see that crazy bitch again after the last bridal drama she caused in a different friend's wedding I was part of
I asked G why she's having her, and G said it was because she was "good at planning budget weddings."
Um, no. She's actually shit.
I didn't want to disrespect her choice to her face if she really thinks this bitch has a place in her life like that–but deep down–NO.
The bitch is a fucking lolcow in the local community and everyone walks on eggshells around her because the smallest criticism sends her into a narcissistic rage.
The last wedding I was in with her she was completely absentee the entire time. She didn't participate in planning, didn't help brainstorm any ideas, but then the controlling narc wanted to turn around last minute and be slavedriver towards us because she wanted to take all the credit for OUR work.
I planned the bridal shower venue all by myself (because G, the MoH couldn't do it), and that bitch's idea of contribution was bringing dollar store bridal scratchcards. This is after she ignored my repeated attempts to run the venue idea by her, and she had the audacity to criticize the food at it because she didn't like it even though that's what the bride liked.
Anyway, I fell out with her because one day she was giving our group chat hell when we were having fun shooting ideas around for the bachelorette party. She barged in and claimed none of us thought about the bride and our ideas weren't good. The fuck? When I called her out she said she visited the bride the most (because she was getting her hair colored by her for free and because she's unemployed and has the time to go see her). So therefore we were clueless and she just knew best, even though she did fuck all up to that point. She was annoying EVERYONE in the group and they were all PMing me to complain. So I told her to put up or shut up. She sperged at me then left the group and didn't go to the bachelorette party just to spite me. To punish me for having clapped back at her.
Not only that. NOT ONLY THAT–but she talked shit about G the entire time.
"I SHOULD BE THE MAID OF HONOR!" the crazy bitch would say. She thought G was absolutely incapable as a person.
At the time G was breaking up with her now-fiance and she wasn't able to focus on a wedding. She got kicked out of his house and she stayed in my apartment for awhile.
What did crazy bitch do for her? NOTHING!
For that alone, it confuses the fuck out of me as to why she wants her there.
UNLESS–and only unless–G is just using her (even though I don't think she's as good a planner as she claims).
And you know what? If she's willing to be fake just to use someone, that makes me question my friendship with her too.
What am I for, really? Who am I to her after what I did for her in her time of need?
Maybe it's best I'm not in the wedding, more money in my pocket and I don't have to deal with the nonsense.
I told her I'd attend the wedding and would be there for her if she needed help or wanted a second opinion. But I am not dealing with that psycho ever again. Never. I refuse.
I feel such strange emotions right now.
Frustrated because I don't know how she could invite such a shit person to be in one of her most intimate life events.
Relieved because I don't have to be in another damn bridal party.
Angry because I feel like she's a user and that maybe all that I ever was, was a tool to her.
>>255951>mascara makes your eyes look bigger like child indicating fertility.
So, in their eyes, looking like a child means looking fertile? Child = fertility?
If someone thinks that makes sense, they're probably a pedophile, lmao.
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I've been having friend issues for a long time and it's now just dawned on me how fucked my relationship with one of my "best friends" is and I hate it.
My friend, let's call her C, is a very emotionally stunted person with a very straight to the point attitude. But the thing is, every friendship for her has to be worth something monetary to her. If one of her friends falls out of use, she just doesnt talk to them anymore, or barely keeps the relationship. My stupid ass thinks that this could never happen to me, as we had bonded over multiple things and were already pretty stead fast even though we had known each other for only a year or two.
Until I started messing up plans and schedules during the first few months of 2018.
Big note: I am attending university, while she has a part time job. My university was around 2 hours away from where she lived and I had no car to make it there. The distance wasnt anything too bad, so I thought it could work.We both do convention artist alley stuff as a side job and we thought that if we ever started growing our convention business we could help each other and maybe even work together as a company.
Then came finals for me and more classwork and other university shit. I got overworked and stressed and started to forget some details in our convention planning. Stuff like paying her for the hotel fees on time or getting prints ready ahead of schedule. I was tired and not okay with the amount of work I had to finish on both ends. She took this as a sign of me slacking off and being a bitch.
Later on during a con she just stopped talking to me. We had planned our tables close to each other, so I wanted to come check her booth. But she just ignored me or talked to her other friends. I felt uneasy so I dm'd her on my phone. She said she was fed up with me and told me to never talk to her again. I was devastated.
We had done a lot of shit together and I felt like all that was just stuff she put up with to get closer with me. I was just a tool she used to help her get better at conventioning. Once I started staying from her guidelines I was no longer needed.
I hate this feeling I have. It feels like I've been used and thrown out like garbage. And I cried myself to sleep at least a few days after the con because I'm a weak bitch.
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>be part of a group chat owned by this guy (nickname starts with an M)
>don't spend much time with anyone there, but enjoy their company because I've known some of the members for years and they're funny (and there's one person there I really like, but am too anxious to approach outside of the group)
>one day, I find out that M secretly hates me for whatever reason and calls me a "stupid cunt" behind my back (I have never said or done anything even slightly negative to this person, and the person who told me insinuated that it's just because I'm a girl who never slid into his DMs)
>start to feel uncomfortable, unwelcome and weird whenever M is in group calls
>stay in the group for the few people I do actually feel some sort of friendship with
>mfw I'm hanging out with the somewhat friendly people and/or the person I like, then M and his girlfriend suddenly enter the call
>mfw they stay for hours and dominate any and all conversation, then go quiet whenever I say anything (I've noticed M especially ignores me if I even say "hi" to him when he joins, but greets everyone else)
>mfw they've probably shit-talked me before
>mfw I can't really do anything about it, as he owns the group and everyone else seems to like him
I kind of want to just message M once and for all, tell him I know he's openly shitted on me to others, ask him what his issue is with me, and try to hammer things out (assuming it's not what I'm thinking, ie that it was just because I'm a terrible, awful no-good femoid who wouldn't touch him). I don't really like being involved in passive aggressive Mean Girls bullshit, and I'm tired of feeling unwelcome when I just want to chill with friends, but he seems kind of unstable (by his own friend's admission) so I don't want to cause drama.
It'd actually be so nice to just cut the shit, decide none of this is worth it and start exclusively talking to the person I like, but I'm just too shy. Fuck.
>>256074>It'd actually be so nice to just cut the shit, decide none of this is worth it and start exclusively talking to the person I like, but I'm just too shy
But this is the best option, anon. Better than potentially triggering
such a huge man baby. You can start by literally just sending a message like “so how was your day? :)” or something normal like that.
>>256087>I can't even fathom how depressing that must seem to THEM>my birthday party must've been hard for THEM
Damn anon, but what about you? How were you feeling? Why did the loving letter made you cry?
It's good to care about others but you need to put your emotions first sometimes.
I'd first recommend talking to the guy you like outside of the chat. Build more of a friendship with him to start off with.
There's actually a lot of power in confronting someone respectfully. A lot of the time people only gossip because they don't realise the damage it's doing or because they're being allowed to get away with it by the people they're gossiping to. Wait for the right moment and just say something like
>Look, I know you've been talking about me behind my back. If you had a problem, you should have messaged me directly instead of doing that. To be honest, I feel really uncomfortable now.
Anyone decent will stand up for you and talk to you outside of the chat. Anyone who doesn't isn't even worth your time anyway. Men are like this, they're bitchy and petulant and it's just something you have to deal with if you befriend them. I can't guarantee this M guy will respond respectfully like a woman would because they're so immature. I can't even guarantee the others will even respond positively because they've been listening to this guy and did nothing about it (typical male behaviour tbh, they'll always put other men first. Always.) But it's worth a try since you've got nothing left to lose anyway.
I've gotten a lot of success from just messaging people and being like "You actually really hurt my feelings there" and I know it sounds really dorky but I think it shocks them because it's not the response they were expecting and a lot of the time they genuinely don't realise they were causing harm. But yeah, these were all emotionally mature women.
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It actually truly amazes me how good some men are at hiding major sides of their personality when you first get into a relationship. You could do all the important research beforehand and make positive observations, but still end up with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde upon a minor lapse in judgment. I still think about the last guy I dated sometimes and through hindsight I can pinpoint some moments of foreshadowing, but sometimes it’s hard to tell what was normal banter and what deserved more attention. It’s like this bitch is a method actor and this is a role he’s playing. Some of these dusty ass males deserve a golden globe award for their stunning performances.
>inb4 some butthurt pick me calls me a femcel for having had relationships
Coincidentally, the guy actually DMed me. I'm talking to him now, so that's nice. You're right, confronting M will probably be a lost cause. >>256095
This is really good advice, anon, thank you! I'm not sure how well it'd go, I bet he'd just deny it to save face, and everyone else would be too scared to get involved, then he'd talk more shit the moment I leave. Maybe if I do go through with it, I'll wait until the friend who told me about his two-facedness is there, and if he doesn't back me up, I'll know to cut him off.
Some hide all their red flags at home and you don’t get to see them before it’s been months. It’s not your fault, and there is better out there.
Imo there’s thousands of undiagnosed cluster B men floating around because nobody is willing to diagnose a man, even a clearly histrionic one, with a personality disorder.
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It makes me sad to see men trying to pass this sort of pseudo science as truth about women.
Even going by that logic, male sexuality is evil because it often encompasses rape, degradation, and control.
Also using that logic, if a Nice Guy™ used his resources (Betabux™) to support a manipulative gold digger, is he not rewarding her evil? Oh wait! He's the victim, though, while a woman can never be a victim manipulated by an abusive man's charms. Impossible.
The absolute state of redpill logic.
no it's alright, it's oddly reassuring to know someone else feels the same way. I'm honestly just kind of glad someone read my post.. and i feel with you>>255980
thank you. i guess that's true. it will only suck for a while, is what i tell myself
>>256137>Even going by that logic, male sexuality is evil because it often encompasses rape, degradation, and control.
Men don't reward such vileness with love and admiration as long as the man is good-looking enough.
>Also using that logic, if a Nice Guy™ used his resources (Betabux™) to support a manipulative gold digger, is he not rewarding her evil? Oh wait! He's the victim, though, while a woman can never be a victim manipulated by an abusive man's charms. Impossible.
Men are policed by other men, immoral men and cucks are shit on by other men for being immoral and cucky, they get thrown in jail or laughed at. The man being "abusive" doesn't matter when it comes to attraction. She is attracted to him regardless of how much of an asshole he is, because she responds to masculinity cues, and rewards him with love and admiration for it, regardless of the morality of the person. This imageboard has tons of girls talking about this phenomenon.
I'll take my ban.(the same beta that keeps ban evading to post on /ot/)
So where are all these Good Moral Men who are clearly the majority? Since immoral men don't represent men at all to you. The men in power, who got there through lack of empathy and machiavellianism? The police force, rife with internal corruption and abuse of women and others? Listen, buddy, I wish everyone in power was great too…but they aren't. We have some veneer of a good society to keep things from going completely savage, but far from the majority of people are moral.
>men are policed by other men
I've also experienced women having a giggle about women who date "bad boys." I have, myself, laughed at them. And developed women try harder to spot the holes in actual healthy masculinity vs. immoral selfish behaviour (see: the redflags talked about all the time by girls). You'll also have women in every man-hate conversation say "not all men" to keep the hate from getting too vitriolic.
My point still stands that both men and women are susceptible to the charms of attractive people. Generalizing based on bio-essentialism is always stupid anyway and benefits no one.
The point is that men are policed by society; by laws, the state, by courts - which were created by men. Men are often immoral, everyone recognizes that, which is why we police it. Men commit the crimes, and they're policed. I don't want criminals to be free because we don't want them to get away with being parasites on society, or hurting other people. Likewise, women's sexuality should be policed, becuase it is inherently amoral (note: not immoral, amoral), rewards parasitic behaviour like someone trying to get a criminal out of prison or banding behind a cartel leader. Women love the toxic masculinity and reward it too often (many studies about Machiavellian guys getting the most sex, bullies getting the most sex, etc pp.) so it should be policed. It doesn't mean women should be controlled at all times but parental supervision over which men young women especially date sounds good to me.
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>mfw I'm getting married in September.
I try my best to help my friends date good men. My 3 closest friends exclusively date horrible men and I seriously don't know what to do anymore. They're all good women and they know those men are terrible for them but they still date them and get burned. Then when I think they've learned they started dating a man much worse.
I'm lost. I try to help them but they ignore all the red flags and insist on dating those men.
See, I actually do agree with the core of what you're saying. I believe young women should be taught what kind of men are best to date (and vice versa) by their parents. And yes, especially young women, since they're the ones who often fall for the Bad Boys meme. Sadly most homes feature one or more abusive parents, which essentially helps train women (and young men) to search for that in relationships. This doesn't even have to be the same sex parent, girls with abusive mothers will also get used to abuse. Or will look to actively hate and use men for their own gain. And for abused young men the same will be true (immoral men and cucks, as you'd say). May be anecdotal, but my mother raised me by having MANY talks with me about avoiding abusive men and guess what? I never fucking fell for the bad boy shit, not even as a teen. Actually been teased for liking shy skinny sweet men kek.
So we agree on a similar policy being implemented, but believe it comes from different sources. I see this mess as a result of child abuse and you of biology.
Also>still not responding to my comments about male sexuality being equally amoral
Some men will fuck a hot chick even if she's done bad shit. She has complete control over having a child and raising it, especially if he pumps and dumps. I see this as equally as bad as women chasing Bad Chads.>inb4 that's not rewarding
But she's still a shitty person who will do a bad job of raising a child (perhaps abusing it or letting it get molested), thus continuing the cycle of immorality in society.
On a side not, I also wager that most of the women lusting after evil men are either damaged (as those I mentioned earlier) or evil themselves. Not moral women.
So basically what I believe:
Good people, in general, need to stop fucking and procreating with bad people. And we need to raise children to be equally as picky with their partners.
I can relate, anon. Being pretty normie at this point (going to uni for fucking business soon, working full time currently, not watching anime much anymore, not going to conventions) makes me feel nostalgic for the days of being excited about introducing friends to a new series and taking part in fandom culture (shipping, fanart, fanfics, cosplay, etc.). Especially when I see people older than me even making money off of being in those communities. And yeah, I actually view lolcows (who aren't abusive) as a means of feeling that nostalgia and peeking in to how those communities are doing currently.
But perhaps it's a bit different since I still have weird hobbies like BJDs and drawing cartoons in my off time.
I definitely have 'weird' hobbies as well, I still like drawing stuff but my favourite style is departed from cartoony/fanart stuff into something more of my own. Also kinda into film cinematography and writing. But these don't define me as a person anymore.
I actually don't find it wrong to be into BJDs or stuff. It's just that I am not overly obsessed, or so hard-on on being 'quirky and different'. There's a difference between just watching a show and waging in the ship wars and writing shitty fics all days.
This is also to do with mindset of people on sites like tumblr towards the world. Especially with gender/sexualities. a lot of times it doesn't sound like something that matters in real life, and people are so damn obsessed with labels.
I don't think you understand what venting is. Are you just triggered
about my post or something? Why are you trying to start shit?
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I fucked up. A few years ago I started talking to a guy online (we live in the same country but in different cities) and I fell for him. However we had never met and he didn't want to come see me and I couldn't go see him. I'd told him how I felt but he apparently didn't believe it (he says now). Anyway, because of this, one of my close friends kept telling me to drop him. I didn't want to drop him entirely because he's a good friend. I did try to get over him and it seems I succeeded. I tried dating another guy but it didn't work out. After that I gave up on men and relationships and I felt okay. I thought it'd be better if I focused on my studies and hobbies more.
At the beginning of this year he told me he was in love with me and my reaction was basically pic related. I spent a few months raging at him and basically rejecting him BUT then for some reason I decided to give this shit a chance and not reject him. We finally met and… I wasn't attracted to him. I'd seen pictures of him before so I knew he wasn't great looking but I thought maybe it would be different in real life. I should probably note that we're still friends and he treats me very well, puts up with my idiotic raging.
I can't get over the lack of attraction. My best friend says it can't be helped if there's no chemistry and I agree with her but at the same time I'm afraid I won't find a guy who puts up with me so much again. I've never had sex and I feel different from everyone I meet. I just want to do it so I wouldn't feel out of place. I could fuck him but the thought revolts me. I want to stop talking to him so I don't have to listen to his affection but I don't want to lose his friendship.
I go back and forth between complete apathy toward him and a sense of guilt which makes me want to give him a chance. Am I what incels cry about? Just dreaming of chad? I feel as if I'm missing something.
I do agree with >>256203
Don't feel guilty for not being attracted to an ugly person. It doesn't make you a thot, and despite what incels would have you believe, there are plenty of men who do exactly the same thing in your situation. If you are able to see past a person's appearance and feel empathetic towards them, then you're not shallow and needn't feel guilty; you still can't force physical attraction where is none.
What WOULD warranty feeling guilty, would be having sex with the guy and leading him into thinking you feel certain way, when you know fill well that you really don't.
Men wouldn't have a problem dropping you as a serious love interest if they didn't find you attractive, including your male friend.
Kinda sad how us women are so guilted into giving all men a chance even when it's unfair to ourselves and what we want.
People, especially the type of libtards who support "queer" degeneracy, feel more comfortable picking fights in the unpopular opinion thread and I don't want to argue about it rn.
>i'm a lesbian but bisexuals can choke idgaf>no breeders, lesbians only society WHEN>also fight me but rpdr used to be good before the fake bi chicks like jill got into it now its for fag hags only and i judge anyone who is super into it
I'm not the anons you're replying to.
We don't live in caves. Most of us live in first world countries where we don't need a physical barrier of protection between us and the world. Many of us live for years without men.
So no, on my dating questionnaires I've never thought "Gee, the height of this man correlates to my protection." That's fucking stupid.
I'm 5'3 and my bf is about 5'6. It's fine.
The only types of women who are concerned about "protection" are insecure Staceys who like their Chads to show off in bar fights, or autistics.
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I think it's hilarious how some fat cringe compilers on youtube turn out to be such unattractive people themselves.
Like this girl.
>a weight problem herself
If she were bitchy and pretending to be smol, she could be another Wig0nhead.
yep, it's funny how men spent the past few years marking any girl as psycho if she wants kids,talking about how horrible kids are etc etc and out of nowhere you have an influx of men coming in demanding women to be fertility goddess housewives super moms and calling women "westernized useless roasties" if they choose not to have kids, or how they talk about how eggs are wasted or whatever, especially when it comes to women in overpopulated countries, like why the fuck do they care so much?>>256228
why would that matter? Idc for a guys height, even if I did, women caring about height is no match for how bothered men are if a woman isn't a fertility goddess ready to pop out millions of babies
hello me. i'm always told i'm "model pretty" too, and, like you, a lot of my compliments come from women rather than men. i'm not andro personally, but i do have very odd features that look out of place on a caucasian face - extremely large bug eyes, a heavy brow ridge that slopes into a non-existent nose bridge, high and flat cheekbones that exist almost exclusively in people with asian or indigenous blood, a very square german jaw, etc. kids used to tell me i looked like a tarsier. :') i'm an odd mismatch of features that look great individually, but don't blend together in a conventional way, so i totally understand the 'proportionate but weird' feelings. i used to take "model pretty" as a backhanded compliment as well - it actually made me so upset i'd sneak away to restrooms or other secluded places to cry after hearing it pretty much every time.
but now i'm fine with it. i haven't grown into my features or anything, but i've grown to accept my weird face to the point where it honestly makes me happy when people tell me i "look like a model" now, even if i know they're just trying to find a way to say i don't look like them but i'm not quite ugly. i get told i look like cara delevingne - well, normies usually say "that monkey looking girl with the eyebrows" or something similar - pretty much every other day. that made me realize that people like us - you, me, and cara - with our weird faces are actually pretty lucky. it's easy as hell to be born with a conventionally pretty face, it really is. it's easy to wear a bland face that blends into a crowd, but how many people like us exist? not many, or else we wouldn't be considered weird and unconventional by average people. we wouldn't be appreciated the way high fashion appreciates girls with odd faces if odd faces weren't rare commodities in a world that celebrates rare gems. weird is rare, and once you learn to appreciate being rare, life and loving yourself will be a hell of a lot easier.
This shit gets annoying, especially when it gets around to weight. “Oh but you’re so tinyyyyy you should modelllll’ bitch no.
1: 55kgs is heavy af for a model, and 2: oversized eyes and being reasonably slim don’t make anyone good at posing, or able to walk down a runway without looking like a newborn giraffe.
Like I get it, they like giving compliments but why do so many girls just straight up lie to be nice? Older women are notorious for it. It’s like okay Thanks Rhonda but can you just shut the fuck up and let me lament my pig nose?
No cheekbones or owl eyes make up for an upwards tilted schnoz. >>256299
The wasted eggs part gets to me. Like, even women with ten kids have hundreds of “wasted” eggs. It’s not like they’re saying their sperm is wasted every time they rub one out so why are women wasting their eggs by not being constantly pregnant?
>>256338>“Oh but you’re so tinyyyyy you should modelllll’
Same with height. Almost everyone in my life has suggested it at some point.
Like, yeah, I totally want to work in an unhealthy industry obsessed with superficial looks, drugs, and unattainable beauty. I want to devote all my time to learning how to look good for other people to consume me rather than working in my industry and contributing to the world via my intellect. I want to work miserable hours, in dehumanizing positions, for the chance
of ending up in a magazine. I want to be paraded around like cattle alongside other women (many of whom are trafficked or brought over for the hope of citizenship in terrible conditions) judged and compared for our appearances. /s
The fashion industry has done such a good job of their “elite” image that everyone just assumes if you’re attractive, slim, and tall that it is your ultimate goal. Nah, I have other shit I want to do. And a much nicer lifestyle to live
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It's 3am and I'm awake because I accidentally took a nap earlier. Now I'm having a craving.
A cheese, sausage, and onion omelette.
The grocery store is right across the street but idk I'd feel awful pathetic going just to make an omelette and then probably passing out around 5am. Maybe I should just stay on the couch and try to shut my eyes.
Anon as someone who's used benzos and known benzo addicts it does sound like you have significant tolerance.
You can't quit the benzos or z-drugs cold turkey so you need to withdraw slowly (tapering). Whether you want to do the taper guided by your GP (which is safer) or do it yourself is up to you.
I doubt your GP will be comfortable continuing to prescribe you all these drugs or upping the dosages, I don't know wear you live but in the UK benzos/z-drugs/opiates are only meant to be prescribed for short term use (usually 2-6 weeks). But they will help you taper the dose down.
You may be waking up with pain in the morning because as the z-drugs wear off your muscles start cramping as you enter into withdrawal.
Because Prazepam has a long half life it makes it easier to withdraw with, this is a useful benzo withdrawal guide that is very detailed https://www.benzo.org.uk/manual/index.htm
and this is a link to a pdf version of the guide (I find it easier to read) http://www.btpinfo.org.uk/ws-public/uploads/97_Prof%20Ashton%20Manual.pdf
If you want any more info anon I'm happy to provide more resources. But again I want to repeat DO NOT quit cold turkey or taper too fast, my boyfriend tapered too fast years ago and ended up having a tonic-clonic seizure in a meeting in work and had to be taken to hospital to stop him from seizing.
I know it's not good but I've done it before. The problem is, I never stop if I just don't quit. I always end up taking one more.
Thank you for the advice though. I ended up having a meltdown this morning at my internship and one of the employee saw me. I told some bullshit about being tired and on antibiotics. Now I'm crying at home during my lunch break.
Do you want to quit anon? If so you will need more support if you have had a long term benzo/z-drug addiction. You will need help from your GP/addictions specialist etc.
And I remember being like that, when I was using benzos a lot I would freak out and cry in the bathroom at work in the morning.
You only have 25 days of your internship left, focus on completing that and then once thats out the way you can concentrate your efforts on beating your addiction.
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Gonna quit my aupair job in three weeks at max because it's making me fucking miserable. The little girl is a spoiled unlikeable brat and the mom is a paranoid overprotective emotionally unstable woman who basically threatened to kill me because her daughter got a scratch from not listening to me and putting her feet out of the bike like a dumbass. I'm expected to clean the house AND watch out for Satan's spawn at the same time, with the girl trying to kill herself all the time, trying to eat colours when colouring, trying to jump off the window when brushing her teeth, trying to jump off the bridge or running towards the road when walking. Doesn't want to eat, dress up, clean, go to school, come back from school, go to sleep, ever. And if she misbehaves her mom blames me.
I will never work with children again. Even being a waitress is miles better than this shit
I don't really want to quit, you're right. I like the high even though I know it's wrecking me and I'm worse for it long term.
I've been good for almost a year, not taking anything but I was terrified at the start of my internship ans totally unable to sleep and asked my GP for the zolpidem.
My GP is totally unaware regarding addiction and giving me pills out reckelessly, I don't think he would be of any help.
Hi, I’m the anon you replied to. I deleted my original post because I was worried I would come across as shallow or be accused of humble bragging or something.
I felt weird reading your post because we sound similar lol. I’m also white and have a brow ridge, high flat (really broad) cheekbones, but with a tall nose. My eyes are a pretty shape but my nose height makes them look close set.
I’m sorry you’ve also had to deal with comments about how you look, but I’m happy you’ve learned to appreciate your features more.
Thank you a lot for your opinion/view on this. This topic is really hard to talk about for me and it’s not like there’s lots of other unique looking girls I can relate with. I’ve honestly never thought of it from that perspective and even though it’ll take getting used to Ill try thinking like that too. vent : I just wish I could blend in more. I’ve started getting paranoid when I go out and it’s effecting my self esteem which is effecting my relationship. I wish if I was going to be weird looking it’d at least be the pretty type or land me a modeling gig or something instead of being a source of insecurity.
I can understand, its very stressful starting an internship and yeah your GP was careless prescribing these medications to you for more than a few days.
If you have been taking the Prazepam and zolpidem for a significant amount of time your GP shouldn't cut you off cold turkey though because thats dangerous and if they try to do that please speak up.
Maybe you could speak to an addictions counsellor or something who isn't associated with your GP or get advice from like an addictions charity?
At your next appointment you could ask your GP about medications that would help you with your anxiety/insomnia that are less addictive? It sounds like therapy would be beneficial for you but if you aren't ready to quit some therapists won't accept you, but hopefully an addictions charity or similar would be able to point you in the right direction.
Hopefully once you finish your internship, your stress levels will drop and you will feel more comfortable with quitting.
Definitely not intrusive, I get off to them. I've had intrusive thoughts in the past and can identify them.
It's just my morality that upsets me. I enjoy this state, but I don't want to be this way anymore for my sake and the sake of men I may date in the future. And every time I try to shake it, I then feel justified to think this way again by just reading some statistics or visiting /r9k/ or something.
I'm not sure if anxiety and paranoia about men caused my desire to hurt them, or if I'm just using it as an excuse to myself for these desires. Maybe I'm just sexually frustrated, or maybe fucking a guy will make it worse. Who knows.>>256450
I'm not even sure if I believe men oppress women (in the west) anymore. Sometimes I'm convinced, but mostly I see it as mutual toxic behavior.If anything I see children as the most shit on by society. But that's a totally different discussion.
fuuuuucking same. except the part about being creepy to dudes who weren't into you, but i've done it to chicks tbh. what is your daily life like?
i do get thoughts like that but it's because i hardly talk to men. in my uni campus it's 90% women and gay men (its related to teaching). and i don't hang out outside my faculty tbh. so the only straight men i hang out with are the people who catcall me on the street and they fucking catcall here so fucking much dude, so fucking much and do so many creepy things, that i don't even like going outside anymore. i still do for my mental health, but god its a pain and its creepy as shit because its a third world country and girls get trafficked and shit all the time so if you start yelling me to jump into your van and chasing me around the park for a few blocks… i'm gonna freak the fuck out okay. leave me alone! and the other "male friend" i have is someone who molested me when i was 7. and because i'm a lesbian who only hangs with girls and fags
, they just disgust me so fucking much and its easy because all my friends are like "yeah kill all men tbh" circlejerking.
i once made a comment like that to my sister and she freaked the fuck out and started going >you can't hate men!! men are good!! isn't dad good?? isn't X? anon what the hell is wrong with you
oh you have no idea
I'm just so frustrated with my housing situation.
Three years ago my husband and I bought a small comfy home and I loved it so much. I spent a year decorating and organizing and then his parents just swoop in and ask us to house sit for them indefinitely. My husband convinced me, because we could make money renting out our house, but I fucking hate his parents house so goddamn much. It's pretty much been used as the family dumping ground for 30 years and every room is the same: full of outdated, worn out shit that no one's touched in at least 15 years. Two of the bedrooms are full-on inaccessible hoarder rooms. Even in the kitchen, I get two shelves for all of my food and everything else has to go on the counters because all of the other cabinets/pantry are for storage. It's a 10min drive to the closest grocery store, 25min to an actually good grocery store, and none of my friends will visit because I live in buttfuck nowhere.
On top of that, his parents still live here two months out of the year. I love them but they intimidate the shit out of me (also what masochist wants to live with their in-laws for that long?). It's basically just two months of constant panicking and trying to make it look like I'm not a fuck up. They tell me it's my house and I can do what I want but whenever I run things by them they just make me feel like I was wrong to even bring it up. Just last week I asked if my closest childhood friend could couch surf and they reacted like I was inviting a felon into their house. And I get the same shocked overreaction for everything, it makes me feel like just wanting to live normally is a personal offense to them. I wouldn't mind if it was just a few years of inconvenience but his parents don't even know when they'll move back permanently. I could be stuck here til I'm fucking 40 and just thinking about that makes me want to just kill myself already.
I snapped and vented a little to my husband the other day and he got super butthurt. Like, how can you not like living in a five bedroom house? Bitch, we could live at fucking Versailles and it wouldn't matter if I had to act like I didn't live there.
Well the fantasising about something bad isn't immoral, everyone has weird sexy thoughts at times and some people more than others.
I would say that if you do have anxiety/paranoia about men it does sound like it's related, like you're trying to exert power over them in your fantasies so that you don't need to feel anxious etc about them.
I haven't had regular, ongoing, nasty experiences with men as you have, luckily never been catcalled in my life. But I've known many shitty men and trusted some who then went on to joke about rape or say child abuse and shit is no big deal. And my own father was a useless criminal who abused my mother and I and preyed on teenage girls.
The thing that makes me pause is that I'm also close with good straight men (my stepfather who can't even bear to look at abuse of women/children in movies, my best friend who has almost too much compassion for me). But they do seem so few and far between that they may as well not exist, and I now feel as if I can't trust those two completely. Even if they would have given up the act if they had one by now.
Perhaps in your shoes I'd have acted on my thoughts by now (drugging+raping+disfiguring a guy), since I'd have no conscience built around men and it would satisfy me sexually as well (since I'm still attracted to men). But knowledge of the innocents walking among them (and the law) keeps me in check.
Or maybe I'm just a gross coward.
They sound mental. I'm especially not surprised by this part >Just last week I asked if my closest childhood friend could couch surf and they reacted like I was inviting a felon into their house.
Hoarders are weird about their house and possessions. The smallest piece of junk is like treasured gold to them, and any outsider will steal
their treasure or wreck their shitty house.
Hate to say it but it's better to beg forgiveness than ask permission in a case like that. Nothing bad could have possibly happened with your childhood friend visiting anyway. That's something they didn't need to know if it's truly 'your house' too.
I know there doesn't seem to be a solution, but frankly their house isn't your responsibility. Is your name on the deed of the other house, or do you have any say in it?
As soon as you find out when those in-laws are coming back, I'd give your current occupants notice to leave so you can move back in to your own home.
If anything, those hoarders should have to deal with renting out their shitty house if they want someone occupying it. Although they'd never do it.
It's not fair that you can't enjoy your home.
Where the fuck are they that's so important that they're only at this dump for two months a year? Fuck them, they sound well-off enough that they can hire someone to be there.
I think after venting he tried to make some concessions but the larger problem is still out of his hands. But it's better than when we moved in. This time he asked if we should buy a new dresser instead of suggesting I just get rid of half my clothes.>>256486
They have dual citizenship and take care of grandparents overseas, which I understand, but fuck just sell your damn house if you're not gonna use it. And yeah, they're totally against hiring someone. Before we moved in, we'd have to stop by once a week to take care of things.
The other issue is my husband doesn't want to move back into our old house. He wants us to sell it so we can get something better when this housing bubble bursts. It sounds good if it's just a couple years, but that's implying we're in a bubble.
’m trying so hard to be social and friendly with my coworkers at my new job, but the more I try to make friends the more I feel like I’m the only considerate, responsible person left in my city.
>make plans to go to the river with 2 coworkers, Guy and Girl, who don’t love together an aren’t dating
>Girl decided we should all meet at the river at noon, but Guy’s car is in the shop so I offer to give him a ride
>agree the day before to come pick him up at noon, get his number so I can text him when I’m omw
>leave house for his house, text him when I leave my house and when I pull onto his street
>text Girl to tell her I’m omw to get Guy, she says she’s talking to him and will let him know I’m coming
>get to his house, knock on his door
>text him again, no response
>continue knocking and texting/calling for literally 30 minutes
>text Girl, tell her Guy is still asleep and I can’t raise him and I’m about to just leave
>”wtf? I’ve been texting him for the last hour” and she send me screens of him and her texting about the park the river is in
>are you fucking kidding me.jpg
>Guy suddenly opens the door, “oh sorry I just woke up, I had my headphones in sleeping”
>sure, just hurry up and get ready so we can go
I’m not pissy about missing our timeframe or having to wait, I’m pissy because I’m fuckin sick of people being so inconsiderate and outright lying to me when all I’m trying to do is have a fun day with my new coworkers.
Friend breaks up with bf, bf needs place to stay, friend asks me if her now ex can live with me as I was looking for a roommate anyways, I agree as he and I get along well as a favour to her, friend now doesn't talk to me and has talked behind my back that I "stole" her bf making me out to be some homewrecker despite her ex telling her exactly why he broke up with her and it had nothing to do with me. Yet, according to her stories, I "lured him in with my thin body". No bitch, you were a lazy fuck going nowhere in life, he fell out of love and had no desire to force his way through a life with you. Don't make up shit to make your ex look bad and take all the blame off yourself and put it on a person who had nothing to do with this.
She's a fat ugly cunt and always has been, if he was shallow enough to break up with her to get with someone "thin" or attractive (I don't think I'm that hot but I know I'm better looking than the 200lbs beast she is, also this is according to her) he would never have entered into the relationship to begin with. Also even if I were the hottest person in the world, why waste his time trying to get with A LESBIAN he knows he wouldn't be able to be with when he could have had any other girl and it still would have been an upgrade. Also why would A LESBIAN try to get with your bf? Also fuck this cunt for me having to explain to people that I wasn't lying about being a lesbian, she's just a delusional bitch or a crazy lier.
But, since this is anonymous, I will add this: he confessed he found her body repulsive. Her thighs were practically the size of his torso and you could see her cellulite like craters in her skin. He likes a girl to go on top but she was too fat to, not only too heavy but could support her weight. Her ass that she's so proud of is just wide and flat. She brags that she has a "black girl's ass" but honey, you've got an old lady office worker ass. Even being fat your ass is flatter than a ten year old boy's ass. Yes it's petty as fuck to call her out on her looks but this bitch has apparently been saying how he made a mistake to leave a "real sexy woman" to get with a boring woman who "fits society's ideals". Says the girl who'd be society's standard (minus the ugly face) if she lost about 70 pounds (she's Uber pale with blond hair and blue eyes) vs a freaking brown girl
Sorry for how long this is, I'm just so mad right now
Not that it's your fault anon, but you should have said no in 20/20. Taking in the ex of my friend would have been super awkward, even if I were lesbian and on good terms with that person. That's a recipe for bad juju.
>he confessed he found her body repulsive
Wah. He fucked her. He dated her.
What desperate cunt of a man stays with someone he's not attracted to? That's not her fault.
You know what I think is going on? I think he's low key attracted to you and is probably why your ex friend thinks you've seduced him since I'm sure he's telling her how gross she is compared to you.
Honestly I know you're mad, but it doesn't sound like you had a meaningful friendship with her based on how mean you're being over a guy.
What does height preference have to do with anything? We're not shitting on them for their preferences, we're shitting on them for linking everything they like to fertility even when it makes no fucking sense. Shit like eye and mouth size in now way indicates you're more or less fertile.>>256391
Like I said to anon above, it's their weird obsession with linking every preference they have to fertility even when they're in no way related.
I hate how full of herself my best friend is. She makes a good amount of money (900$ or so per month) but she's living with her parents and she doesn't pay for anything, so her money's only to spend on her, i.e. make up, concerts, going to parties, etc. I see no problem with that, I understand that some people have it better than others, that's just how life goes.
Well, she doesn't see it that way. She's always complaining about how other people spends their money and claiming that she works sooo hard to make her money and pay her bills (nonsense, what bills? As I said, she doesn't contribute with any money in her house, which is a luck nowadays! Nor even gas or light). Also, she's the first one who jokes about doing nothing in her work, even posting it in social media. She's the most avaricious person I've known -she doesn't want to spend more than 7 bucks on a friend's birthday present, making us - the rest of friends- having to spend more, even when, for example, I make not even a third of her income, but she says she can't be selfish at all, that people is always thinking about money and she doesn't care about it that much. Well, because she doesn't actually have to spend it in important things!
It pisses me off because I know in her head she's the shit even when people have called her out because of this, when actually it makes her seem as a jerk and a joke.
That is extremely disrespectful to you, in my opinion, and I understand your frustration.
His anxiety isn't his fault, but just because he might suffer a lot, it doesn't make your problems any less valid. Even if you're just having a bad day and just want to complain a bit, he should pay equal attention and care to you as you to him.
If he doesn't care about your problems, that's his personality, not his anxiety.
I'm sure you don't want to hear this but consider if the relationship is worth it. Don't just think about the good moments and such, if a guy can't make the effort of just LISTENING to you, after all you did for him…Hm. I know it's not his fault to be this anxious but I've been with a boy who reminds me of your boyfriend for more than 5 years and I had to break up with him. I loved him, more than I've loved anyone and I know we could have been so happy and all but it was killing me. I always had to be the one being fine, strong for both of us and that was impossible.
It's not fair that you have to feel so alone being in a relationship with someone who's supossed to be suporting at least.
I'm not mad over the guy, I'm really mad at what she's doing. Honestly I wouldn't have taken him in if I'd known this would happen though I'm glad I saw her true colours that she'd backstab me and rage against me out of nowhere. Also the guy isn't into me, and I know he didn't tell her that he finds me attractive or anything about her body to her cause he hasn't talked to her since the breakup and in the breakup he didn't mention looks or anything. As for dating her he really liked her personality at the beginning and thought he could look past her looks but then she let herself get lazy in life and work and gave up a promising future so that's why the breakup happened.
And yeah, when I read what I said about her looks it was really harsh and out of line. After her raging against my looks to friends and acting like me being thin means anyone into me is some basic fuck who doesn't actually love me really hurt especially combined with her going on and on about what a goddess she is compared to me or anyone like me. Though what I said shouldn't have been said because girls with bigger bodies or flat assss aren't terrible, she's just the one who's terrible and by insulting her that way I basically insulted anyone else with that so I'm sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings in my rant
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Today was supposed to be the first day of my diet and I was doing so well (only 500 calories between breakfast and lunch) all day. The moment I got home I was fucking starving and exhausted from college and I ate yogurt, banana and biscuits with milky tea before dinner. Doesn't sound like much but I know from experience that that's enough to ruin my weight loss.
I'm so angry at myself. Why can't I just survive off of 1k calories a day like it says I'm "supposed" to? Why does my stupid body fall asleep during class and make me crave sugary shit when I'm just trying to cut back a little? When I'm restricting, I feel like I'm going to faint and I become obsessed with getting that one thing I'm craving (even when I try to eat something healthy instead, it tastes bland and doesn't satisfy me) until I finally get it.
I fucking hate my body and I feel like I'm always going to be ugly and overweight. Just kill me.
Hey! One bad day is not enough to beat yourself up over. It’s one day.
Learn from this. If you can, remove the temptations from your home. Donate them, give them to a friend, throw them out if you have to. Then pack a small, low calorie snack for when you start feeling cravings in school.
Start your calorie restriction small. Consistent, slow weight loss is better than extreme restriction folllowed by binging. Give yourself manageable goals. If 1200 feels too small right now (the recommended minimum) maybe go halfway instead. Allow your body to adjust and wean itself off the sugary crap.
Besides that, are you sure 800 calories a day is healthy for you and your body type? That’s a 1000 calorie deficit daily. Only 500 calories in the morning will of course lead to you feeling deprived by the evening.
There are many many downsides to eating far too few calorieshttps://www.healthline.com/nutrition/calorie-restriction-risks#section4https://www.livestrong.com/article/518807-negative-side-effects-of-eating-less-than-1-200-calories-a-day/
You should be eating 1200 a day. That’s still a 600 deficit, so you’ll see results… just slower. Weight loss is not a race, it’s a complete lifestyle change. You want to be healthy for as long as possible, right? You don’t want to binge anymore? You need to overhaul your way of thinking about dieting.
Sappy post incoming: You get one body. That body has to carry you around for your entire life. Your lifespan is dependent on how you treat your body. It is not an accessory, it is not an enemy. It is the one thing in this life which can bring you happiness or end you. Don’t fight it. Love it, be kind to it. Nourish it with the right foods, in the right amounts. Be grateful for your legs which carry you to beautiful places, be grateful for your arms which allow you to hug and be hugged. Be grateful for your stomach which takes what you put in and gives you energy, nourishment, and health. Your body is the most brilliant thing that exists, whether there is extra chub or not enough. Don’t punish your body. Love it. Take care of it. Feed it healthy food, move it so that it’ll stay flexible and strong. Thank your body for taking you to class, thank your body for carrying that brilliant brain all day (heads are pretty heavy, yo). So you indulged a little too much today. It’s one day. And if you treat your body right, there are so many more days to come. The important thing is that you care. You care about your body, you care what you consume. Just make sure that care is productive and healthy, not destructive and obsessive. Your body should be your best friend. Be kind to it. Be kind to yourself.
Good luck, anon. And remember, it’s just one day. Focus on tomorrow, and next month, next year, the next ten years. This is a long journey to health, one that will span your entire life. Embrace it. Give yourself long-term, healthy, and achievable goals.
Serious question anon: Do you take any vitamins or supplements?
My calorie deficit is about 1.2k like the other anon mentioned, and sometimes I eat even lower than that if I'm not hungry. Before I started taking them I was a hungry obeast fuck like all the time.
It could be your body trying to make up for nutritional deficiencies by telling your brain it's hungry even when you're not.
Personally I skip breakfast (I know it's not feasible for everyone though). If I do have breakfast it's nuts or eggs for energy. I take my vitamins and wash it down with lots of water. I save my calorie budget for dinner and snacks because they fulfill me more. That way I don't feel as deprived in the night. I also make sure to walk minimum 2 miles a day.
So far I've lost about 10 pounds and I'm not struggling to do it everyday. Yeah the weight loss can be slow, but frankly so was my weight gain.
If you're curious about what supplements mine's>a general multivitamin for women>Vitamin D3 5000mg (I'm deficient from being fat and being inside a lot–but I taper because too much of this vit isn't good either)>CoQ-10 100mg (heart and cardio)>Biotin 5000mg (hair, nails)>Vitamin B-1 100mg (carb metabolism)>Magnesium 250mg (nerve, muscle, cardio)>Vitamin B12 1000mg (energy and metabolism)>Glucosamine Chondroitin 3000mg (lubricates joints so I don't hurt when I exercise)
Anyway I know taking vitamins isn't for everyone either but it works really well for me so far. I do feel different compared to just a month ago.
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>have misophonia which makes me completely miserable
>wear noise-cancelling headphones (with music) for nearly the entire time i'm awake, probably for over 12 hours a day
I've been hearing 10-second bouts of ringing in my ears as well as throbbing in my ears. im scared im developing tinnitus. its likely ive already damaged my hearing. fuck
What sounds trigger
you especially? Like is it so bad that you can't just wear the noise canceling headphones without music or?
chewing, swallowing, coughing, throat-clearing, mouth sounds while talking (like, hearing the saliva), chewing, dish-washing (the banging sounds), hearing talking coming from other rooms, people talking with their mouth full
these sounds only
bother me when specific people make them (usually people ive been exposed to for a very long period of time). the only time i can think where strangers triggered
my miso was when there was this woman chewing with her mouth wide open like a pig at a restaurant>>256629
yeah, man. it has made me cry from rage. i havent had a single meal my family for like 6 years and i cant crry a conversation with my mom because i cant stand her voice or laugh. anti-anxiety meds never worked for me unfortunately
white guys and asian guys who date/fuck/marry black women absolutely repulse me. i don't care about black women dating their fellow blacks or even non-white hispanics or indians (the dot kind) or shit, but i actually feel a little sick whenever i see a white/asian dude wasting his time with a black.
i know i shouldn't even be bothered by it since black women - barring famous ones like beyonce, rhianna, lupita, serena, etc. - are universally considered the most unattractive females of any race and men are least likely to race-mix with them. especially asian men who legit think they're apes and barely date/fuck outside of their race for white girls, let alone niggers.
but even if it's just a white dude who hooks up with a black girl once, i can't help but find him disgusting and ruined. i'm not actually mad about it - i'm grateful he's removed himself from the dating pool and marked himself as an oil-driller so i don't waste my time, but i'm always confused and curious like… why you got a bestiality fetish, my dude? why would you fuck anything that has a 98% chance of having an std from the age 15 and on? and niggers stink, let's be honest. why would you do that to yourself? any self-respecting white woman worth her salt isn't going to be able to look past you going chimp hunting.
i don't know why it makes me so mad since it's not like i've even encountered it irl. none of my black female friends are into non-black men at all and i don't think i've ever seen an xM/BF couple outside of the media. the thought is just so nasty. i'm honestly not jealous, just grossed out.
like when prince harry married markle, i was just baffled. it made more sense when even normies were like, "he's clearly gay and she's his beard - they picked a vaguely black actress since she could play the role and would look good on the royal family's 'i've got a black friend' resume". but i was legit still baffled why anyone in their right mind would choose markle for anything - she's legit a 40 year old, ex-prostitute, divorced, C-list american nigger. she's obsessed with white dudes, so there was a whole string of them (presumably not gay ones) before harry, so it's insane to me that white guys actually enjoy black whores. white men, i don't know if you got the memo, but we left that behind in the plantation days.
i think what it really comes down to is that i'm sick of it being shoved in my face via movies/tv. spiderman? ofc peter p