File: 1727471286018.jpg (60.96 KB, 723x900, d25a935a-e6f4-4c55-9303-3dbbe9…)
No. 2182789
A thread for venting about difficult stuff going on in your life.
Previous vent thread:
>>>/ot/2172675Follow all the /ot/ board rules & don't reply to bait.
Don't come to this thread to make fun of anons' vents, to demean them, or to try and be funny with some shit snark reply. It's annoying. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all.
No. 2182808
File: 1727472495195.gif (657.7 KB, 498x385, 1000011299.gif)
>tell me the individual charges made to my one time card so I can input it in Mercari and complete my purchase
>GREETINGS AMERICAN WOMAN! I AM ESL SCROTE! YOU PAYMENT PLAN IS 81.45 EVERY MONTH! YOU WANTED TO KNOW THE PAYMENT PLAN CORRECT
>no, I need you to tell me the INDIVIDUAL AMOUNTS CHARGED to my ONE TIME CARD so that I may COMPLETE MY PURCHASE
>CAN YOU PROVE ORDER CONFIRMATION?
>no, the order is not confirmed because I need the individual charge amounts to use to COMPLETE MY PURCHASE
>AHHH SO I UNDERSTAND AS YOU WANTING TO UNDERSTAND YOUR PAYMENT PLAN
>no
>disconnect
>reconnect
>Hello I am ESL woman! How can I help you
>I need you to tell me the separate dollar charges made to my one time card to confirm my mercari purchase
>What is the merchant!
>it's mercari
>It seems like there was a charge of only 2.90 made to your one time card
>yes, what are the separate charge amounts?
>Let me see!
>waiting 5 min
>If the charges are still there by October you can have them waived
>that is not what I wanted. Tell me the INDIVIDUAL DOLLAR CHARGES MADE to my one time card so I can COMPLETE MY PURCHASE
>Just to confirm, you are contacting us about the charges made to your one time account
YESSSSSS YESSSSS I FUCKING AMMMMMMMM HOLY SHIT JUST TELL ME SO I CAN BUY A FUCKING COMPUTER JUST LET ME BUY A USED FUCKING POORFAG COMPUTER TO DO WORK ON!!!!!! I MEED TO FUCKING WORK!!!!!!! IFUCKING HATE YOU JUST FUCKING TELL MEEEEEEEEEE
No. 2182820
File: 1727473241764.jpg (17.77 KB, 640x526, 1000015082.jpg)
Tell me you want to do nice things together, buy us tickets worth hundreds of dollars and then when it comes time to actually go whine and sulk about how you're anxious and you never wanted to go in the first place. Thanks hunny bunny!
No. 2182836
File: 1727473883145.jpg (523 KB, 2048x1425, tumblr_30b2fc6ec2ead6c3a2bfa25…)
>Dad says ok to practice driving after 2 months of not being able to because he's tired every day and "the worlds not ready for you on the road you're crazy" etc. daily put-downs
>"I'm not mentally ready for that today, I never said today" but wants me to walk his dogs with him
It's almost like he wants to keep me here to constantly insult and mock me by calling me a victim and taunt me while simultaneously yelling at me to get a job, car, and leave.
It's getting darker earlier and earlier every day and I can already feel my seasonal depression coming to join my normal depression. Seriously considering finally revealing my depression and suicidal dark thoughts I've had since I was 13 but I don't want to end up more of the family black sheep than I already am. The worst mistake my sister ever made was show me how she acted around my other sibling who tried to overdose, now I know how I'd be treated as if I'd hang myself in front of them or show them gore and shit. What a fucking hypocrite when she was the perpetrator of cocsa on both of us and caused my former porn addiction and sexual behavior as a child. Of course I'd be labeled the person who ruined the family if I ever revealed it. I wonder if my parents have always known since those days and just clapped their hands and prayed that I'd turn out ok. I just want to finally finally finally get my own car and leave, I'll go somewhere and do fucking something, literally anything other than walk the dogs or shop for groceries, and it would make me ecstatic.
No. 2182843
>>2182820I HATE THIS. I feel like its a modernity problem. Same with ghosting people, just generally treating everyone actually like garbage and being unreliable and then blaming it on uwu it's because I'm a speshul little neurospicy. NO you're not a
victim, you're just an asshole!
No. 2183000
File: 1727477611008.gif (164.15 KB, 220x220, lana-del-ray-smoke.gif)
>dropped the guy I was attracted to months ago bc of his shitty political views, still unreasonably upset over that
>now talking to a guy I like as a friend and I'm not attracted to, we slept together once and he's getting way over in his head, no idea how to friendzone him
>much rather would fuck one of his best mates if anything
>everything else is also shit
I'm fucking tired
No. 2183044
>>2183040Cats often choose their owners. I had cats who hid in my house from
abusive owners. You can't really kidnap a cat that walks freely outside.
No. 2183090
>>2183068Try drinking prune juice, maybe that'll start things moving. Don't drink too much though.
I chugged 1 litre (slightly more than 1qt for burger nonas) and spent most of my day on the toilet.
No. 2183116
>>2183018LC gets posted on tiktok nowadays and wannabe
femcels all flock here
No. 2183372
File: 1727486440529.jpeg (43.89 KB, 414x451, Screenshot 2024-07-18 at 8.43.…)
I ate 3 slices of pizza, drank a pumpkin cream cold brew, and forgot to take lactaid. Woe, death be upon me
No. 2183417
>>2183401You're not the problem
nonnie, moids are just retarded rape apes that are always told that it's "in their nature" to fuck around, this is reinforced by porn and moid friends, honestly, having a long term relationship with any moid is just a waste of time, specially when they "want to get serious" it's just a way of manipulation they have to "make sure they always have someone waiting for them" so they tell you that they love you, then they neg you and then they cheat on you because they made you believe you need their dusty asses when in reality, they're the ones fucking up their retarded lives and wasting your precious time.
I hope you leave his ass and find enjoyment in being single, may he always have kidney Stones.
No. 2183483
>>2183417Thankyou for the reassurance
nonnie. I definitely plan on leaving. I've been tired of his shit for awhile. I'm tired of men's shit in general. I only stuck around for so long because he has a great family and we have a daughter. But after this I've reached my no going back point.
No. 2183498
>>2183413Go and do things with her
nonnie, go get pedicures together or something, go out to eat, go see a movie, etc. I feel sorry that she feels so lonely. Encourage her to take up some hobbies or try to start one with her, something easy like those beginner crochet kits or something. Peace and love.
No. 2183679
I can't stop crying, and crying. My stomach hurts and my eyes and throat burns. I want to die, I can't take the pain any longer. I want to cut myself like a moody teenager, or straight up hang myself and die. I feel so much angish my stomach hurts, it's a dull sort of pain which becomes unbearable. I can't talk about my struggles with anyone because therapists are retards and my family would never take me seriously. I'm so overwhelmed. I feel like such a loser for starting college at 21, no job or job experience, and no fulfilling relationships in my life. To top it off my piece of shit ex sexually abused me while strangling me, which left me unable to eat for days. The absolute worst is that the exact same month I was physically assaulted by a different person [who tried to rob me] and now I'm very anxious/giddy to the point I look mentally challenged.
I'm so sad and it's like nothing happened, I just have to move on. Like I'm fine, like I don't have traumatic flashbacks/nightmares, crippling anxiety, lowered self-esteem to a new low I didn't know was possible, paranoia, and just overall sadness/loss of faith. Just typing this makes me sob again.
It's so hard sometimes but things will we okay again.
No. 2183694
>>2183681Thanks
nonny. Bless you.
No. 2184007
File: 1727503910911.jpeg (233.89 KB, 1076x1322, IMG_5132.jpeg)
I can’t stop feeling guilt for what I did to my ex after he cheated
No. 2184017
>>2183826Cause it just makes me happy, and then when they turn them off the house is so dark it blends into the forest its like it disappears kek
>>2183843Three big bay windows, one on the back two on the sides, carmelly yellow lights
No. 2184165
File: 1727518474922.jpg (10.98 KB, 511x409, 1000017046.jpg)
My life should've turned out well. I would've never thought that I'd get the whole planet to harass me. That it would be specifically me.
God. When does it fucking end
No. 2184204
>>2184201i did try a wash-out dye which turned it deep green after one wash! it went back to normal shortly. i do use a deep conditioner which helps with the lengths, but the buildup from the hard water is so noticeable that it try to only shower at the gym, which is a generally disgusting experience.
henna is the one thing i haven't tried. thanks anon, i'll give it a go.
No. 2184227
>>2183551>is this an existencial crisis? i don't even know. i feel like cillian murphy when he woke up in 28 days later and hellworld is just the default state. i don't even wanna live in the forest and retreat. i just wanna feel fucking safe lmao.Kek, I agree so much. I was a kid of the 90s and so much has changed. It isnt just smart phones, it's social media in general. Kids are not as smart as they used to be, or creative. So many younger teens are into the gendie juice and trooning out because it's the big thing now to be anything but straight or cis. I'm honestly really scared the new generation is going to cause the downfall of society because they have no idea how to function like an adult off their ipads and tablets. Why are so many toddlers autistic or filled with anxiety? Like holyshit.. These parents arent parenting anymore. And even if you try to parent your kid, other parents wont mess with their kids. How do you even make friends in this new generation as a kid? I feel bad for new parents.
I feel even worse for teachers dealing with the by product of these retarded ass kids who refuse to learn.
No. 2184239
>>2184227>>2183551Idk, this feels like the repeat of "That damn MTV is ruining our kids! Those music videos with fast changing pictures are destroying the kids' attention spans! Nobody parents anymore, the just plop their kids in front of the TV! Where they are exposed to sexual content in music videos!"
I heard this all before
No. 2184289
File: 1727533184637.jpg (64.71 KB, 750x740, mood-memes-memes-depressed-Fav…)
I think I'm having some sort of executive dysfunction or something because of my depression. I have to send a very important email, I already have what I need to write written down I just need to add a sentence or two so they know it's me. I also need to do some cleaning and put in new hair dye. But I just can't bring myself to, I just want to lie in bed and stare at nothing. I know I would probably feel a bit better if I got that email over and done with and at least vacuum cleaned the hallway and kitchen. But I literally can't bring myself to, like every part of me is saying "…nah".
No. 2184316
File: 1727534615016.jpg (221.02 KB, 1024x576, Happy-the-Cow-Bellbrooke-Holst…)
>>2184314>whats the point of living? lolcow imagine all the crazy cows youll miss laughing at if you were gone
No. 2184319
File: 1727534917167.jpg (890.31 KB, 1080x1326, 1000017052.jpg)
I want to kill myself
No. 2184320
>>2184314Dying is painful and you won’t enjoy that either? At least this way we can have fleeting moments of vague amusement about cows as
>>2184316 said
No. 2184368
File: 1727539763259.jpg (485.57 KB, 4316x992, 1000011292.jpg)
I fucking hate the enby/trannies/tranny loving brigade on lolcow. They're so retarded. You fucking think that people who aren't retarded gendie cult members are going to suck trannoid cock anonymously? Go fuck yourself retard. They're so disconnected from reality. Everyone is PRETENDING that you are your delusional "chosen" gender. How fucking retarded and what a fucking handmaiden you are to think that a WOMEN'S ONLY SPACE, full of women WHO HATE MEN, will affirm tranny identities. Go fucking kill yourself you pock-marked, greasy failure. They're so fucking weak. If every nonbinary and tranny killed themselves tomorrow the world would be a better place.
No. 2184388
>>2184368and everyone thought i was being schizo by pointing how much cc favored troons over actual women..it was always
sus. how the turn tables
No. 2184522
i hate USPS. every mailbox at my apartment complex has the unit number on it written in very clear font. despite this, i have been consistently getting mail for the unit BELOW me. this has happened consistently for about a week, and i know it's not just the mail falling between mailboxes because mine is above all the others. why is USPS hiring illiterates who don't know how to decipher basic numbers?
i've also had packages delivered to the wrong unit in my apartment, even though, again, the unit numbers are EXTREMELY clear. i'm on the ground floor directly next to the entrance (making my unit the EASIEST to deliver to) but they will take it to the unit above me or on the other side of the building. yes i double check my address every time, the address is always correct, it's just the delivery that is wrong. and of course my neighbors won't let me know about the misdelivery (even though i've seen delivery photos with welcome mats matching their units, though that was for amazon and not USPS. USPS has still delivered to the wrong unit though lol), they just steal it kek.
i've also experienced the "attempted delivery" BS: i've been home the entire day waiting for packages and still found a "we tried to deliver this, come get it at the post office" slip in my mailbox. why did i pay a delivery fee if i have to come pick up everything anyways? once this happened to me, i went to the post office, they "couldnt find it", i give them my phone number for future contact, eventually they "find" it a week later, i asked them "hey can you please deliver it to me since i already signed for it at the post office", they assure me multiple times that they can, package never comes, i call to ask and they tell me to pick it up. i ask again about getting it redelivered (i don't have a car, getting to the post office is a massive pain). i am again assured it is possible. i ask "are you SURE you can deliver it to me" multiple times and am told yes. at this point i have received 2 phone calls from the post office about this stupid package. get another call from the post office a day later asking me when i will come pick it up (i also receive an email telling me if i dont pick it up within a few days it will be returned to the sender). i ask AGAIN about delivery and explain why i want it delivered. person assured me AGAIN it will be delivered. i hang up and 5 minutes later i receive ANOTHER call from the post office. i call back. lady pick up the phone and tries to convince me that the post office did not, in fact, call me. tells me i have the wrong number. asks me "did you mean to call the post office?" i tell her that i'm looking at my call history right now and that i know i just got a call from the post office and want to know why. she argues with me "well I didn't call you" like… okay? well i received a call from this number and i hit redial to see what the fuck you guys wanted? so i hang up. they STILL do not deliver the package. i have to send in a help ticket via email and yell at the guy at the other end to actually get something done. eventually i finally get in contact with some manager, he apologizes and i FINALLY get the stupid package delivered. so not only are whoever answers the phones there rude as hell but the carriers also cannot read and will not do their jobs even though it would have been EXTREMELY easy for them to do so (again, i live on the ground floor right next to the entrance, if you're already at my building i am the easiest unit to get to)
No. 2184697
File: 1727552627288.jpg (2.06 MB, 2048x2048, 1000017056.jpg)
Death please
No. 2184710
>>2184197You can do a chelating treatment. Malibu-C and Ion both make them. And then switch to chelating shampoos, Paul Mitchell makes a chelating shampoo that isn’t expensive.
I would test out henna but it’s worth a try.
No. 2184789
File: 1727555376104.jpg (385.2 KB, 1280x1007, 1280px-Hamster.jpg)
>>2184607isn't it profoundly disturbing that we're permanently destroying the earth and causing mass extinctions just so these retarded gen alphas and their retarded millennial parents can spend their meaningless lives endlessly consuming slop and fast fashion? we could have pristine wilderness but instead we chose skibidi brainrot. wild european hamsters are dying for this.
No. 2184837
File: 1727556725648.jpg (219.03 KB, 1197x916, all troons is the same.jpg)
>>2184368Kinda hard when they prove every day how male they are through and though
>>2184388I thought that was well known knowledge i've seen anons say that here before
No. 2184846
>>2184373Because they know this is a female centered site, they cant stand the idea that we wont bow to their delusions, I remember seeing some bitching about the JK Rowling banners posted here a few months back.
>>2184381top kek
No. 2184855
File: 1727557237484.png (193.57 KB, 480x360, 1716425724803.png)
I'm so mad that twitter is STILL blocked in Brazil. I want to look at beautiful yaoi and follow yaoi artists and I'm being denied that. It's so unfair.
No. 2184985
File: 1727562451583.jpeg (24.7 KB, 736x566, amanojaku.jpeg)
I live in a gated community and the moidlets here scream all the time, they cannot talk like people. I only ever hear a girl screaming or talking loudly once in a blue moon, but these freaks are like this literally everyday. Why don't their parents let them know they are a nuisance? The one I hate the most is the one that just screeches like a distressed bird, no words, just screeching.
No. 2185164
File: 1727568513582.jpg (756.42 KB, 2048x2551, 1000017063.jpg)
Pain. Agony even.
No. 2185230
File: 1727571954788.jpg (6.26 KB, 244x207, window-chan.jpg)
>Matched with guy on Hinge
>Chatting away for 2 weeks or so getting on really well
>30 mins into date, he slides his phone across and asks if I'm doing ok and if he wants him to drop me home
>I say I'm fine
>After dinner he says he has to bail something came up but we can hang out some other time. He drops me home on the way.
I'm 100% mental illness free. When I'm nervous I just talk a lot but nothing that seems I'm unwell. I'm trying to write down a play by play of what I said that would make me seem unhinged but even the thought of that makes me think I might be a psycho. I wasn't even drunk or high. I didn't even have a coffee today.
No. 2185258
>>2184908Disclaimer not Brazilian
>Twitter gets court orders by Brazil gov to ban some profiles>Twitter refuses>Brazil fines Twitter>Not paying fines can lead to imprisonment for local employees>Musk closes Brazil office to avoid fines>Without local office you can't do business in Brazil>24 hours to get some rep in Brazil to work with>Nothing happens>Twitter banMusk has blocked other profiles in other countries for much less and it's completely responsible to have a rep in the country you want to do business with. Blocking profiles is shitty but lets not pretend it's some paragon of freedom of speech thing.
No. 2185426
File: 1727579410521.jpg (68.74 KB, 612x566, aggro.jpg)
>decide to get a pre workout
>take half a serving
>have felt exhausted 99% of the time for the past months; head finally feels less like shit/foggy
ngl they must have spiked it with cocaine or something, not even energy drinks have any effect whatsoever on me.
No. 2185488
>go out to get away from toxic male relative
>getting gas
>moid pulls up at gas station, acts impatient despite nearly all other gas pumps being available, but no he has to wait with his headlights facing me
>moid gets out of his SUV, looks at his car as if someone hit it (??), looks at me, says something to person on opposite side, when Ive been at the gas pump the whole time
>avoid going to usual store due to creepy male stalker who I saw again since many months ago, probably stalking me the whole time
>go to different store
>moid inside shouting at 2 women employees
>threatens them, hands in their faces
>tall man finally steps in, tells moid to leave, moid is polite to him, leaves
>moid comes back, shouting again, tall man does nothing, all other moids act like nothing is going on
>person I talk to about this makes excuses for shouting moid, as if hes a victim "he probably has money troubles, hes probably a drug addict" etc
>back home
>useless male relative sitting around watching me make food, indirectly accuses me of placing a fucking feather inside his trucks tent thing "idk who did it [looking at my face to examine my facial microexpressions]…it was probably a squirrel"
>tfw he'll probably find the english ivy that growing nearby
TMD NOW
No. 2185515
File: 1727584640947.jpg (18.35 KB, 554x554, 27s6fxkb9pc91.jpg)
For pretty much my whole life I've been obsessed with finding a community/friend group of like-minded people (particularly women) and it's just never happened. At this point I'm not even sure what I mean by "like-minded", I guess I just never find a group where I really feel like I belong, fit in, and am valuable. At best I find groups where one or two facets of my interests and personality are represented, but then end up being the black sheep for not fitting in in other ways. I don't expect a friend group of mirror copies of myself where everyone has my exact opinions, I just want somewhere that I can feel confident being a part of.
I'm starting to consider if maybe I should just let go of the whole desire and stop caring if other people don't seem to get me. Maybe the solution is to just accept it and move on. Or maybe that's just my cop-out cope since I have such a hard time making friends.
No. 2185532
File: 1727585340200.jpg (44.12 KB, 736x414, 36ca396e81d5b6a14630aa99cbf4e8…)
I am considering suicide honestly. I've never been in a relationship, all my dreams are pipe dreams now, I never got to do anything I wanted. 23 years of shit.
Stabbing to follow in the steps of someone I admire that did it that way.
No. 2185553
>>2185532You are really young, retards online and in the media try to make people (women especially) feel like they're done for if they haven't lived it up since their teens but it's absolutely not too late to turn direction. I used to constantly lament that my life is ruined forever but things have improved in ways I didn't think were possible.
Yeah I know this just sounds like another generic anti-suicide shill post but at least please don't go with stabbing, not only is it a horribly brutal and painful method but it's also not nearly as reliable as people think. It's very likely that you'd just injure yourself and survive with nerve damage and disability, especially since it's rather slow and conscious so you have a lot of opportunity for instinct to kick in and get scared into calling for help even if you previously had strong resolve. Whether you want to better your life or end it, that's a bad outcome either way.
No. 2185576
>>2185532Things truly can change SO fast nona. I know without tangible proof things will get better for you that me saying this doesn't make a difference. But the biggest change of my life happened just over the course of a year or so. There was almost exactly a year difference between the lowest point of my life and genuine happiness that I have built into a life I love since.
Every single day you have the capacity to make minor changes that will lead to a better situation for yourself. Every single day things completely out of your control that require no effort on your part could change the course of your life forever. You have no idea what 24 will be like, and the previous 23 years are no indicator of the next 23. Eventually you will get to a point where you can honestly say that all of the bullshit was worth it. I promise. As sick as you must be of being patient I promise it pays off eventually.
No. 2185611
>>2185576>>2185550>>2185548>>2185537I dont expect things to change or improve. I feel defeated but happy, it's odd. My extreme childhood trauma won't go away. My material issues won't go away. My failed dreams won't go away. Living paycheck to paychek won't go away. My physical flaws won't go away. I was supposed to end it at 17, I said, wait and see. Nothing changed.
>>2185553I've thought about the method. There was this guy who killed himself by chaining himself to a tree, starved to death. Tried to claw his way out they say. That's one way I considered. But the knife will work if I try. I hate myself I guess.
No. 2185704
>>2185676Hey
nonnie, don't panic. You're sick and you did what you could. Sometimes managers can be kind of useless on this front but life happens, you got sick and that's not your fault. I once had a manager who chewed me out for emailing in that I had tonsillitis rather than calling when I literally couldn't speak. Just focus on healing and if you have to grovel a bit when you go back to work, so be it, but you let him know with a whole day's notice, it's up to him to put on his big boy pants and do his job.
No. 2185729
>>2185719I did go through some therapy afterwards, however the main focus ended up being on some other major trauma and it was only during a limited time frame. But you are right, I should look into getting back to it, for a multitude of reasons.
"Ironically", in lack of better words, I was in a physically and sexually
abusive relationship a few years before I met this guy and not even my rapist made me feel as worthless as this particular ex did with his manipulation. Moids are the ticks of humanity - they attach to you, steal your blood and leave you infected and sick.
No. 2185737
File: 1727602200000.jpg (33.04 KB, 705x745, YRaEAAWWq_.jpg)
>>2185704Thank you nona, I'm a bit more calm now. I've thought about it, and I'm pretty sure he's just doing this to fuck with me and make me feel too guilty to call out of work ever again. This guy is online every 5 minutes, and ALWAYS replies to me within 10 minutes, but he somehow didn't see my message about being sick? And then he magically sees my message this morning, half an hour after I was supposed to get in the carpool? No way.
And something like this has happened to one of my ex-coworkers before. She had to go home because she was vomiting, and he called her and yelled at her for not asking him for permission to leave. She told the manager she needs to go, so it wasn't like she just went home without notifying anyone. After that he fired her because she told him to stop calling her while she's off work kek. Piece of shit manipulating scrote, I hope unspeakable things happen to him. I'm going apply for jobs today after my painkillers kick in and my headache stops trying to kill me. I was just really scared because this is my first job after NEETdom, but I can definitely do better and also deserve better than this shit.
No. 2185782
File: 1727605988444.jpeg (55.69 KB, 474x386, AEB5A856-AD25-4430-BB17-EBE25E…)
>>2185766
>And not a hole and separated part of it, a small ass ass sucking clitoris.
I don’t have one of those…
maybe this is why BPchan is so troubled. What is wrong with her vajayba?
No. 2185803
>>2185795inb4
>anon grow upI have gone from instantly panicking and hyperventilating receiving that shit to now just being annoyed and able to just ignore them, I just put the phone down and this week i just gave up on this bitch and blocked her. This isn't a big ask for adult people. There are people who can be drunk as shit and still be coherent, who knows if I often receive drunk texts but the absolute gibberish is still so gross and uncomfortable to me.
No. 2185818
File: 1727607641659.jpg (124.67 KB, 1179x1216, 1000017053.jpg)
I'm in so much mental and physical pain. I just want a boyfriend or someone that will be fully involved with me. That will genuinely care about me.
No. 2185839
File: 1727608734073.png (106.22 KB, 505x505, afbb0e182c5d228.png)
I'm a wildlife rehabber, and while I try to keep an emotional distance from the animals I foster, it's still so sad to see animals pass away. Especially the babies. On Friday I already lost a 5 week old hedgehog because she was infested by fly larvae and fleas and generally malnourished and weak. Just now another baby, who seemed strong and healthy at first, passed away after he suffered a complete rectal prolapse yesterday, despite it looking like he was better and would make it last evening since it contracted back inside by itself around an hour after I smeared it with vaseline. But his colon must have gotten damaged during the entire ordeal, so there wasn't anything I could have done to save him. Still, I couldn't help but shed a few tears while he was laying on my chest and taking his last breaths. Spoilering all the medical details for the squeamish nonnies out there
No. 2185862
>>2185818A boyfriend isn’t a full time caretaker, you can’t expect for someone to just come and save you. No one is going to want to put up with hardships immediately at the start when they can date a person who doesn’t have your problems, it’s simply not worth it, a man won’t especially do that nonna kek. Learn to cope first and learn to properly manage your pain and become a girlfriend.
In sickness and in health is reserved for long term relationships(not even that most of the time)
No. 2185865
>>2185818Love is conditional. The only genuine love you can experience is the one of a mother towards their child. At least when the mother is a sane person who has no underlying problems.
In my whole life there hasn’t been anyone who has had my back as much as my mother, my n.1 supporter that always cheers me up and uplifts me. When I was sick and in the hospital I only had her, when I was suicidal and felt alone I only had her. She has always given me love without expecting nothing in return, I don’t think I could ever find something as genuine as this.
No. 2185891
>>2185889I don't get it? It's called having a family. Being in love. A basic human need. Maslow's pyramid???
I can't believe that I'm being gaslit for having basic human needs.
No. 2185893
>>2185884How do you know that they’re happy? Comparison is the thief of joy.
Human loneliness sucks as hell, but if you keep on comparing yourself with what other people have you’ll always be in a perpetual state of unhappiness.
Meeting people whom you’ll connect with isn’t impossible, you’ll have to put yourself out though. Focus on getting help nonna, on bettering yourself rather than “finding someone”.
This seems retarded and it might look as if I’m saying “it will come when you least expect it” but I’m not saying that. I know how you feel nonna, being lonely sucks when everyone around seems ti have someone. But when I stopped fixating on it I found solace somehow.
No. 2185932
File: 1727614374394.jpg (48.72 KB, 632x632, 1726608667557.jpg)
why am i so cringe
No. 2186020
File: 1727617457577.jpg (6.13 MB, 5766x4289, Jan_Matejko,_Stańczyk.jpg)
I somehow managed to fumble a guy on fucking WhatsApp, I feel like crying. Is autists can't pull a man for shit
No. 2186084
File: 1727618873017.gif (148.91 KB, 236x260, 1000023114.gif)
please nonnies…
No. 2186110
File: 1727619297800.png (20.3 KB, 378x137, whatsapp.png)
brb writing my suicide note
No. 2186153
File: 1727624827218.png (226.05 KB, 500x413, gaiatars.png)
Went on a first date with a guy that turned out to be even cuter and sweeter irl than in messages. We went out for coffee and a walk, and we talked the entire time but it's hard to tell if it went well or not. Now I'm expecting the inevitable "it was nice to meet you, but…" text that I always get whenever I go on dates with someone that actually matches most of the points I look for in a partner.
No. 2186168
File: 1727625354533.jpeg (21.87 KB, 236x317, IMG_9537.jpeg)
Was having some really good sex last night and just as I was about to orgasm I farted, and now it’s disrupting my ability to have a memory wank over it
No. 2186173
>>2186124I code switched wrong. I have whatsapp web open in the tab beside lolcow. Do you think I talk the same as I do here irl?
>>2186127>>2186129>>2186133I'm just going to ignore it and hope it goes away. That's been working out surprisingly well for me lately. If it doesn't then suicide, maybe regicide too.
No. 2186293
>>2186285I don't know, I don't think I'm repressed but I never really got an opportunity to be in any kind of relationship I'm probably stunted. Moids expressing sexuality in any way utterly disgusts me.
>>2186288I was not talking about real male sluts, just men showing off their bodies like a ton of anons wish they did.
No. 2186328
File: 1727630269622.webp (26.43 KB, 1217x1217, os5XIOFZAZkWzYuRFADPQeor2hXAfI…)
these seasonal color palettes ALWAYS use either very white/blonde women, or black women. nothing in between. i'm white but with very dark brown hair, pale olive skin (NOT pale pink) and hazel eyes and literally NONE of these palettes fit me. either the skin tone is off, the colouring, or both.
No. 2186363
>>2186270for what it's worth, I genuinely think that your friend just has bad taste and different ideas about hair than you.
>>2186154>>2186330this opinion is so confidently wrong. everyone, everywhere tells you to do short, easy first dates so it's easy to back out if you're super not feeling it or if the guy is hiding secret baldness. that is universal advice. it's cruel to propagate even more dating paranoia when dating already sucks for women. "he just wants someone who puts out fast!" then don't put out fast? "you're setting the bar low!" wrong, because if you really feel like you need to prove that he'll pay a lot of money for you, then go somewhere expensive… next time? it's easy.
No. 2186831
File: 1727646317312.jpeg (61.97 KB, 411x736, 234509929524.jpeg)
I miss when I was younger and I was kind and nice by default. As I've gotten older I always think about "what can this do for us?" or "is this bitch going to give us some backhanded complement back?". I'm always second guessing everything I do, my guard is always up. I'm assuming someone is hostile until they work there selves into my circle of trust. Even then I don't really trust them. I miss my innocent days before life beat me down. I hate being cynical all the time. I want to be positive.
No. 2187091
Ever come down from mania and realise you’re actually not the most beautiful person in the world? Like actually butt-ugly, sub-3? Yeah…
>>2187082Oh, you’re one of those people who thinks Asian and black people can only be Autumn or Winter. Got it
No. 2187101
I might have renitis pigmentosa. I have a "depigmented mottling" that resembles "bone spicules" in my left eye at 21. I have no family history of this, nobody on my mom's side has this, and all my 5 half siblings from my father does not have it. I was told that they noticed this pigment a few years ago, and it has not progressed (presumably). My right eye has nothing of the sort, no pigment, nothing. I have no night blindness, as the location is above and below my optic nerve and is near my nasal area, so that might be why I have no night blindness. I am waiting for results. I also have goldenhair syndrome, so I am hoping it is a structural thing, but I have no warts or whatever on my eye, as this in the retina layer. I am already hard of hearing, and wear a hearing device. I am miserable. I just do not understand why this is happening to me. My dad died three years ago and my mom had cancer twice (though it has not come back for 6 years). I pray that if it is RP, its very slow and it's unilateral. I am hoping it isn't, but there's not much else that can cause the pigment. I am so miserable and I genuinely do not know what to do. I am waiting for genetic results on December 5th. I cannot stop freaking out. To make matters worse, my ex keeps obsessively stalking me and keeps harassing me. I feel so fucking horrible. I don't know why these bad things only seem to happen to me. I got stalked by a pedophile when I was younger, he is out while I and many other girls was victimized. My bullies are able to get good degrees and everything while I was at home dealing with my fathers adiction and his temperament issues and my mother battling cancer twice. What did I do to deserve this? I don't know what to do. I feel like I am being punished by God for being suicidal, that because I take my life for granted, he must be punishing me. I don't think I have done anything wrong. All I wanted was love, I just wanted someone to understand me. I have been begging him everyday and promising that I would never attempt if this isn't progressive, but I am losing hope. The idea of this crushes me, because not only can I not hear without my hearing device, I may not be able to even see my boyfriends face or do any of my hobbies again. I feel like I would burden him and everyone around me even more. Please pray for me. I always wanted to be a mother, how could I now knowing I could pass this down to them if I do have it? How could I raise them with my sight? I really do not want it to be progressive, I promised God that I would never take life for granted again. I already took a test for ruebella and syphilis, and I was negative for both.
No. 2187133
>>2187116That’s just not true though. There are also white people with dark hair who are springs/summers. It’s about which colours you suit first and foremost. You can’t genuinely think all non-white people suit the same colours KEK
>>2187097But they also have the same colouring. Black to brown hair, black to brown eyes, just medium to pale skin.
No. 2187151
>>2187101I’m so sorry you’re going through all of this. It’s not fair that you have to handle so many challenges at once. You haven’t done anything to deserve any of this, and I’m sorry that it’s all of this is happening. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be. If it helps, life isn't fair to a lot of people. You aren't alone in getting fucked over by life or by your genes.
Remember that you’re not alone in this. Your boyfriend, family, and friends are there for you. It’s okay to let them help you and share your burdens. If they are good people, they will want to be there for you. And try to find a supportive faith community. This isn't your fault and god is not punishing you for anything. Please reach out to religious people of your faith so they can talk you through this. You didn't do anything to deserve what's happening to you. It's just really shitty luck. Your mom, your dad, the bad hearing, none of it's your fault or god messing with you.
Try to take things one day at a time, and focus on what we can control in the present. For example, worrying about the disease and children, until you get the results, isn't going to help anything, so give yourself 5 to 10 ten minutes a day to worry about the worst that can happen. Outside of that time frame, you should focus on just having a good day. If you find yourself getting lost in worrying, just remind yourself that this is not the time for that and you will do it at the assigned time.
No. 2187157
File: 1727661523919.jpg (30 KB, 373x250, 6036132-1661a5c7c5e7acd10d381c…)
The internet was a fucking mistake. My grandma really thinks these streamers she obsessively listens to gives a shit about people like her. Lol, no grandma they want you to form a parasocial interaction with them because they want followers which means money. Just because they say "I don't care about my follower count uwu" doesn't mean they really don't. It's sad how you can easily pander to people like my grandma and make easy coin. The amount of bullshit she has bought because of these worms is amazing. Can't call any of this out to her because she just double downs. Fucking sad.
No. 2187166
>>2187150are YOU retarded? i was replying to this
>But they also have the same colouring. Black to brown hair, black to brown eyes, just medium to pale skin.which was implying blacks and asians had the same coloring. keep up
No. 2187169
>>2187151Thank you so much. I have been crying everyday and have been so depressed lately. I am thinking of going back to church. I just have such a difficult time not thinking about it. I am somewhat hopeful that its not progressive, but I don't know. My mom was telling me that treatments can advance even if I do have it. She told me how 20 years ago when she first got stage 4 colon cancer, she had almost a non existent chance of surviving, but she did. She said versus now, if someone else got diagnosed, they would have such a better chance of it, so hearing it made me feel better. Thank you. I am hopeful its not progressive, and something else is causing the mottling, but if it is due to RP, then I at least hope it's just unilateral and very slow, because I have 0 night blindness, and I have a fine time with brightness, due to the fact that the location of the pigment is not where most rp pigment placements are.
No. 2187231
>>2187221if this is completely out of character your cat may be showing you that it's sick by behaving like this.
>>2187199mine did at 27, not cool
No. 2187236
File: 1727665022199.jpg (40.47 KB, 600x686, basketball2.jpg)
>>2187199Literally everyone I know a period of time in their twenties where life was utterly dogshit. Especially in their early twenties. It's actually pretty normal, since you've basically just been tossed out into the adult world with little to no money, experience, network, direction, etc. The only people I've seen who don't go through this era are rich kids and social media influencers who literally get paid to travel and have fun. You'll escape the trenches eventually.
No. 2187261
File: 1727667286084.jpg (249.35 KB, 1490x2048, 1000003256.jpg)
i didn't get to tell my best friend goodnight and that i love her tonight, and now i feel so anxious i can't sleep
No. 2187266
>>2187261You kind of get used to it, you can just tell your friend in the morning something like
>good morning! Uhg I fell asleep and almost forgot to charge my phone lolI honestly tend to forget to tell her good night because I'm a mess kek, but as long as your good mornings are almost religious, it should be okay and forgiven.
No. 2187299
File: 1727668775169.png (137.77 KB, 274x430, 1000003090.png)
>>2187290she's having a power outtage and has no access to her phone. i sent a message, but i know she can't see it. my night feels completely uprooted and i know things aren't better for her
No. 2187330
File: 1727670394136.jpg (51.98 KB, 736x920, 1000017097.jpg)
"we hope it gets better"
"We're sorry that this is happening to you"
"We hope that you get the help that you need"
No. 2187349
>>2187293You found religion, nihilism. It’s like, you know how Catholics read their bibles, you read the news or watch videos. You can even recite nihilism dogma. You’ve got faith the world is ending. You might find Buddhism interesting if you haven’t read about it before; the thought that suffering is innate so you should spend your energy trying to alleviate your own suffering, can be kind of calming.
I feel bad for Gen Z, you guys were raised on hopelessness. It’s going to be hard to shake those kinds of thought patterns when they started during such formative years. I’d say it get better but really you just learn to deal with it and find meaning where you can.
No. 2187394
>>2187293Hi, I'm also another nihilistic-ish zoomer. Sure, in the overall scheme of things at a scale of billions of years or within 1000 years, we're not going to matter. But I personally wouldn't really give a shit about all those billions of years either. My worldview is, the fact that my life has no inherent meaning means that I can make my own meaning that changes as I go through life. It's what I make of it. I'm free. I can create my future selves and cultivat the virtues and strengths I want. Inherent meaninglessness is just the first step of nihilism, it's what you do after that counts. This life is limited but I would never want to do everything ever anyway, and we have 80+ years on our biological clock. In the modern era, many essentials like food and water are trivial. What we want to do is at our fingertips, reach out and take it.
In a less manic-aligned perspective, the previous generations struggled hard to make most of life about convenience. We can pick and choose which conveniences we take to better focus the rest on our few passions.
No. 2187405
>>2187381Girl I was just coming here to post the exact same thing. I’m thinking about leaving my life to live as a pretentious white
drug addict hippie in a yoga retreat in Thailand or something myself. Things were going well but I’m officially off the rails now.
No. 2187435
>>2187101thinking of you nonna and sending you love. you need people in your life who will hold you hand through this and support you. i wasn't sure if the boyfriend you mentioned was rhetorical – do you have close loved ones you can talk to?
women have become mothers with much greater physical and mental challenges and will continue to do so for as long as our species is alive. you can do it, i promise.
No. 2187529
>>2187435 Yes, my boyfriend exists, and he knows that it's most likely going to be RP, but he said he will take care of me, which I just feel guilty about. I am thinking of moving into the same building as my sister, but we will be 30-40 minutes away from my mother's place, though there's a train we can take that will take us around there. My main worry about being a mother is passing it on to them, it would just feel incredibly selfish. I would feel immense guilt for taking the possibility of children away from my boyfriend as well. I hope that a cure or treatment might exist by then, because they said most people with RP become legally blind, but depending on what gene it is, it might progress slower. I am hoping it's dominant and not recessive, as it is atypical and asymmetrical. The placement of the pigment is also indicating that it might be sectoral, as I have not dealt with night blindness nor have I dealt with light sensitivity yet. Because I have not dealt with night blindness, and no pigment in my other eye, I am hoping I can at least keep my central vision until I am in elderly age. Only genes can tell.
No. 2187566
>>2187557I know I'm a random person on an imageboard, but I do hope you live through your grief okay. Losing a parent (especially a loving one) is probably one of the hardest things a person can live through. I'm so sorry for the pain you're feeling right now.
Your friends seem like they don't have any semblance of compassion or even just any feeling of social convention. Even If one of my group mates from university that I talk to once in a blue moon confessed to me their father died, all concerns would be on them, and I think any other person with a heart would do the same. Suffice it to say, your friends seem awful. I think that kind of attitude would be reason enough to say something like "it feels as if you just don't care about me, so I would rather not be your friend anymore". And it sucks twice as hard when you care about the people you're friends with enough to be there for them.
No. 2187623
>>2187562>>2187566>>2187570thank you guys, really. it's pretty telling when I get more empathy from you than from people who have been in my life for 5+ years. it think moving on, I won't consider them friends any longer, as much as it hurts
>>2187608i'm sorry for what happened, no words can really do it justice. I understand people deal with loss differently and some don't know how to react to it, but leaving someone on read is actually vile. I think death really shows the true side of people, like my friends, it showed me that they only care when I have time for them to validate them and lift them up, as soon as I was out of commission, they looked elsewhere immediately. good riddance.
No. 2187627
File: 1727700152874.jpg (117.18 KB, 736x736, 1000017100.jpg)
I want to get to live my life for once. I want to get away from the things that I've been trying to escape my whole life.
No. 2187730
File: 1727709257168.png (16.7 KB, 117x107, kirby hate.png)
>>2186153womp womp there it came "it was really nice but I'm still not over my ex I broke up with last year", sure it's better than being someone's rebound but for fucks sake I swear the universe wants me to settle for some random fat balding loser or push me into another
abusive relationship and is punishing me for not playing ball
No. 2187835
File: 1727713877912.png (2.15 MB, 1441x1911, HAMHOCK.png)
Amazon clothing review sections are so funny. Every time I read a negative review about it not fitting right, I look at what size was ordered and it's like 3X-LARGE. So many negative reviews are from fats. I've noticed it occurring significantly more than non-fats complaining about things like the quality or fabric. Clothing doesn't fit right because you're morbidly obese but yes, it's the shop's fault. Not even gonna start on makeup review photos and the disasters on there.
No. 2187852
>>2187835keeeek I was thinking about just that earlier today. I was looking at reviews on some t-shirts and the only ones that complained about them not fitting right was the one 3-4XLs, normal-sized women posted pictures wearing them where it was clear the shirt fit just fine in their size.
However, I can also kind of understanding the frustration. I'm really tall so it's not uncommon for clothes to fit poorly on me when they finally arrive, but I'm also aware that the issue lies more in my proportions than the size of the item itself so I wouldn't leave a poor review except to give heads up about the quality.
No. 2187903
File: 1727715788008.jpg (20.85 KB, 495x375, 1678598762060754.jpg)
I accidentally put my nice italian vintage merino wool jumper into the washing machine and now it has shrunk and has slightly felted.
Tried using the conditioner and lukewarm water strat but the damage has been done. Nevertheless, I will keep at it because it brought me joy.
No. 2187905
File: 1727715822424.gif (1.87 MB, 498x386, IMG_2653.gif)
>>2187897
No. 2187947
>>2187925
Yeah, I understand. Men are fugly most of the time. And dating is a completely different type of hell, especially nowadays.
This is not my area of expertise, since I'm in a long-term relationship, but what made me feel better about this when i was dating was realising that we were basically fed lies from movies and media, etc. about just how many men are dead gorgeous, chivalrous and have good manners and will actually care about you. The media I consumed made me think there'd be like 10 guys in my life like that, especially when I would grow up, but no, they're all just painfully mid and finding a decent one is like raking cow shit. Oh, and I live in Russia, so the realisation of that was particularly painful for me as you can imagine kek.
I think there will be more single women as time goes on, it's already catching on, so maybe the perception of single women will shift into a positive direction in our lifetimes. I feel the social stigma about outdated things, too, but just know that honestly, being in a relationship, or being a mother, for that matter, sucks a whole lot, too.
No. 2187968
>>2187870Oh god that would be great. Sometimes I wish there was a separate sizing system simply for height, since sometimes the other measurements are perfect but it's just too short. Or just so they position the waist a bit lower down to accommodate to taller proportions.
But alas, we live in a world where everything is now made in china and made for shorter proportions, I can't even buy anything in brands/stores that originated in my country without showing my entire ass or look like a fridge because the waist ends up on my ribs.
No. 2187975
>>2187890>I'm trying to think what should I do? I should make a portfolio but idk howIt really sucks that you weren't comfortable going to school to study what you wanted, but if you are just graduating from a Masters, you still have time to learn. You can take classes, online or in person, to learn what you need to. You can just start again as a hobby, and then take classes later once you are more comfortable. You can get a job in your major, save up money, and then go back to school to get that creative degree. You can do this. Greive the loss you are feeling right now, take all the time you need, then brush yourself off and take steps toward a new future.
>I don't even know what I want I just want to make things. what things? idk I'm too embarrassed to think about itDo you really not know? Have no inkling at all? Not origami, or woodworking or crocheting or pottery or soap or stained glass art, or leather wallet or belt, or shoes or papercrafts or 3d puzzles or model cars? Mosaics? Rock painting? Quilts? There has got to be at least one thing that is calling you more than others. Start there.
No. 2188076
File: 1727722723422.jpeg (744.29 KB, 828x1541, IMG_3666.jpeg)
>>2188062Who says Muslim women don't commit terrorism?
No. 2188083
File: 1727722883922.gif (152.26 KB, 500x516, sipsdotwebm.gif)
Just sitting here waiting for the massive redtext
No. 2188099
>>2188021Don't even continue with the training. Just lie and tell them your mom got sick or something and you will need to focus on your personal life so you can't accept the promotion. Tell them how much you appreciate the offer and thank them for considering you but you have to focus on your personal life.
Then pick up a few books on how to stop being a people pleaser.
No. 2188108
File: 1727724251457.jpg (349.68 KB, 2399x2560, 81TQc1hFjUL.jpg)
i couldnt sleep at all last night because my bed felt hot and i was panicking and scared that nobody will ever love me so i didnt go to classes today and i feel terrible about it
i found some of these old lalaloopsy dolls from when i was a kid in the closet and they make me happy to look at on my shelf
No. 2188141
File: 1727725087039.png (562.31 KB, 666x500, IMG_5424.png)
My apartment looks like it was hit by a fucking tornado and I’m sick of living like this but for some reason I can’t just clean it. Or I’ll get like 3 chores done and it looks like I haven’t made a dent. Ugh. I know the only way out is through, but I’m just so fucking tired. At least it’s not full of trash, I just have clutter absolutely everywhere. Wish I could pay someone to do all of this for me
No. 2188148
File: 1727725258852.jpg (74.94 KB, 450x563, agriculture_lge.jpg)
>>2188095I didn't make any friends until my third year. It sucks but it happens. There wasn't many other women in my class. I think it was 5/40 but except 2 they mostly sucked.
>most racist colleges in my state I'm a white Englishwoman who went to a bong college so I'm not going to pretend I know what discrimination you face. I'm sure it wasn't fun and I hope it gets better.
>The campus is ugly The buildings I was in were built when the French were doing more protests more than normal. They made all the universities look like ass to clamp down on student protests. Brutalism concrete all they way. Picrel is not my uni but it looks like that.
>I’ll be happier after graduation You will be, don't sweat it. Once you see that first paycheck it makes a world of difference.
No. 2188153
File: 1727725349194.jpeg (127.56 KB, 682x279, IMG_2654.jpeg)
anons… what is happening to my precious lolcow? have the newfags officially ruined it?
No. 2188166
>>2188154next thing we know we’re going to be banned for talking shit about scrotes.. this shit is going to make me sick we will have no place to talk shit about them
>>2188156same, i can’t imagine what this website will be like in a year or so. it’s like all of the old posters have left and were being flooded with unchecked 2022 newfaggotry
No. 2188299
File: 1727729755513.jpg (137.12 KB, 1500x1500, 81PIUiQKOGL._SL1500_.jpg)
>>2188286Try to include flossing or if you're lazy like me a water pick. It gets that gunk out that brushing misses.
No. 2188318
File: 1727730371578.jpeg (17.52 KB, 300x168, IMG_3285.jpeg)
life should have never gone multicellular. evolution was retarded. we should have all just stayed unicellular. even when we all ruin this world and disappear the archea will live on. they are the true rulers of this world
No. 2188390
File: 1727733195494.jpg (16.07 KB, 355x236, 1000004609.jpg)
I'm scared that a CT scan may increase cancer risk. Help me I'm a hypochondriac and cancer is my biggest fear… my ENT doctor wanted to make a ct scan of my sinuses because I often get infections and also I have a deviated septum, probably, but I'm scared it may increase cancer risk and sinus cancer (or any head related cancer) is my biggest fear helpoppp
No. 2188395
>>2188390Don't worry
nonny it will be ok, I've had a CT scan before and I made it out unharmed, I just recommend closing your eyes the whole time and not opening them until you're outside of the machine again.
No. 2188482
>>2188342thank you
nonnie, I’m praying I pass them but there are so many to sit!! still beats working in admin though
No. 2188510
>>2188494I knew a woman at my old work who had a huge hulking autistic son who
tried to rape her when he was 15 then trooned out.
No. 2188582
I was not invited to my cousin's wedding with her settle-scrote.
The only reason why I was excited was that it was getting my narcissist mother out of the house for three nights, a luxury of privacy I NEVER get to have because she is a mentally ill hermit who constantly invades my spaces cause she never goes anywhere or does anything except bitch or watch the misfortunes of others on youtube. However, she ruined it by inviting her tardbrain pig brother to stay here for the wedding and he will NOT be gone all the nights like she will be–typical selfish male bullshit. Which means his morbidly obese ass will plop here during what was supposed to be my precious time alone. He literally oinks and grunts like a pig due to his tourettes, is a close-minded idiot (and doesn't care about me besides being an extension tool for my mother so no chance of decent conversation), and will consume everything in the house because my grandparents spoiled him and let him live with them until he was in his late 50s. He is rude and disgusting and annoying due to all of the above.
I asked her why he cannot stay in a hotel like what she is doing? Of course, the only thing her narcissist ass can do in this situation is start an argument and claim I am a monster.
>HeEeE iSs FaAaaMiLAAaY AnOn StOpp BeIng SoOOoo AwFulL!!
I even offered to pay for his hotel. But no. This fucking stupid bitch who doesn't give a shit how I feel has to pretend being put in a hotel for an out of town wedding is cruel and unusual punishment that will totes hurt this grown ass man's feefees. No, really, she told me no because it would hurt his feelings to not get to eat everything in our pantry and fart onto our upholstery. My plans are ruined, but fuck MY feelings because the only ones that matter are hers and that fucking tub of lard! And it's gotta be HER WAY, she cannot meet me in the fucking middle about this.
She even had the audacity to act like I have alllllll this privacy even though she routinely goes snooping in my–not actually my space as she loves to remind me when she needs to feel in control–room. Loves harassing me about how dirty and unorganized she thinks I am even though by an objective measure she is being crazy as I am a clean individual. To her credit: Maybe the reason why I commit big cardinal stinky icky boo boo hoarder sin like leaving clean laundry unfolded on my bed (!!!ewwwwwwww!!!) is because I am depressed and exhausted from working so much and knowing nothing I do will matter cause it will never satisfy her anyway. She would not be treating me this way if I had cock and balls btw, instead she would be catering to my every whim like how men in my family are prized and how daughters are slaves who must sacrifice always. Living here is like living in a correctional prison ran by a borderline warden who wants tile grout scrubbed with a toothbrush every day but not before one bleaches and straightens those bristles in between scrubbings. I am not allowed to bring anything into the house and I must leave no trace that I exist here lest I am "ungrateful and I need to respect her space and realize what a burden I bring." All my shit is in storage which I am paying big bucks for being the queen must have everything her way.
Whenever I bring up how my grandparents gave her an entire separate apartment alone when I was a baby after she left my dad and had to move back in with them, and how much privacy that arrangement actually afforded her, so like why can't she understand I want alone time too? She fakes being the biggest victim in the room and claims my grandmother was suddenly some Nazi who wouldn't let her go anywhere or do anything and how she allegedly never got privacy in her literal ivory tower. Well, even if she isn't fucking lying (which she totally is because I have memories of it) that's probably because she had a BABY to take care of! I didn't bring home babies and made that decision on purpose so I could have more freedom. I learned from her scrote mistakes. But because she's so damn unempathetic and selfish and won't listen to me, she larps like she had it more oppressed so she can justify her shitty treatment towards me as better than she supposedly had it living at home.
She is such a miserable crotch and does little to support or boost my life in any way besides offering me a room and making sure she rubs my nose in it every day to praise her like holy mary for it. She's even still trying to pick fights with me about this! Here I am, isolated outside on the porch venting privately to lolcow and she storms out here to jab at me with "Are you STILL mad?!" YES YOU DUMB COW LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE I DID NOT DO ANYTHING TO YOU.
I hate her. If she can't have the decency to die quickly due to her chainsmoking and poor diet, then I cannot wait to dump her in a nursing home where I may or may not feel like replaying the cruel games she did to me. Cannot wait to hear about the indignity of strangers cleaning her privates, or how she is not allowed to smoke inside the nursing home, and cannot bring certain items with her. That era will be my extended holiday. Please may she be as miserable as she tried to make me feel.
No. 2188587
>>21885821. how old are you?
2. why were you not invited to the wedding?
3. why do you live with your mother if she is so bad?
No. 2188599
File: 1727740672403.jpg (22.39 KB, 600x450, 00x0x_1dhoNgaSUlL_0CI0t2_600x4…)
I just had to let go of my third therapist. I tried so hard to make it work with her for the past few months, but this was really a make-or-break session where I laid it all out on the line and asked for literally any tools to deal with my thoughts and feelings, and she just told me to take a xanax if I couldn't sleep and try to distract myself, and that other than that she couldn't think of "any particular strategies" to help me with my thoughts. So basically, "try to ignore the issue." When what i desperately need help on is tackling the issue and finding new ways to think about things. She just validates my thoughts and listens to me vent and nothing else which is nice yes but i don't think it's helpful in the long run. My previous therapist I dropped after a few weeks for similar reasons, she couldn't think of anything to say to me other than
>"that's hard"
and
>"you're not gonna kill yourself, right? Do I have your address?"
Is this really all there is? why do therapists list all these fancy modalities they're supposedly experts in and then not use them or do anything other than listen and nod and tell you to distract yourself? My insurance doesn't cover any of it and I'm paying out my ass, for nothing.
And on top of this, my issues are very unusual and embarrassing, and it takes so much emotional pain for me to open up and re-explain my problems to each new therapist, only for them to be pretty much useless as anything other than listening in sympathy and telling me "that sucks" (I KNOW THAT ALREADY).
Anons, please tell me that this isn't all there is to the fabled "help" everyone points you to. I am struggling so hard all by myself. Will I be on my own with this until the end?
No. 2188605
>>2188587>30s>My 'family' pounced on my throat after I went no contact with my mother for a few years after she said I deserved to be SA'd, they hate her too but kiss her ass superficially so she won't drop them from the will >hospital debt and my loser ex fiance's dad sued me to take everything we shared after I ended the relationship so now I cannot afford to live alone And that's ok to move back in, cause my mom did the same to my grandparents except she brought a baby with her to boot. And my uncle got to live with my grandparents until his 50s.
I don't have a choice unfortunately, but I also do not feel bad about it given how everyone else in my family gets to conduct themselves.
Forgot to add: And one cousin also moved back in with my aunt and uncle in her 40s. My other cousin is also a loser living off welfare, stealing, and pimping out his kid for sympathy dollars. And the cousin getting married? Would also be forced to move back in or have roommates in her 40s cause she cannot support herself and hence marrying the asshole she left once already because at least she can avoid doing what I had to do until the inevitable divorce. Yep, I ain't sorry.
No. 2188632
>>2188599>why do therapists list all these fancy modalities they're supposedly experts in and then not use them or do anything other than listen and nod and tell you to distract yourself?Because they're decades out of clinical practice and know that actually thinking critically about their clients would require work so they convince themselves and you that validating feelings for $150/hr is better than a rando on the internet doing it for free.
Job security. They're the
experts dontchaknow?
No. 2188646
File: 1727741934961.jpeg (144.12 KB, 1290x1389, IMG_5324.jpeg)
When my ex cheated on me, I told him that he made me want to kill myself and I hoped that scientists named a new STD strain after him. On one hand he’s an asshole but on the other hand I feel embarrassed because I made myself look like a psycho bippie and he’s going around telling people about how I’m his crazy ex
No. 2188734
>>2188676>but how do I find a therapist who isn't checked out and actually cares about helping? Vet them. Ask to talk them on the phone for before you make appt. Most agree do to this, they usually give you 15-20 minutes. Tell them you have issues x, y z and are looking for tools to help with that. Ask them if they have any experience treating people with your issue. And then ask them what has helped these patients the most. Google 'list of questions to ask therapist for issues x,y,z' and make a list of questions to discuss. If you read any self help books and there was something in there that you want to try, bring it up. Im not going to lie, it's not easy or quick to find a good one, but that's the way. Also, don't stay with one too long if it's not working out.
>And also, how can I regain my strength to explain my complex but embarrassing and upsetting issues again and again when each time admitting it is excruciating? Write it out and read it out when talking to them for the first time or ask to it email it to them before the appt.
>And what are some good signs and bad signs to help me determine what therapist is worth their salt before I'm 5 months and thousands of dollars into it? Believe it or not, vibe check. If you trust the therapist and like them, feel safe to be vulnerable with them that's a good sign. That's really important. Google 'warning signs of bad therapist' and 'signs of good therapist'. There are a lot of articles out there about things to watch for in good and bad therapists, like this one:
https://www.talkspace.com/blog/25-signs-of-a-bad-therapist-you-deserve-better/
>I'm so tired, I am already struggling just to get by. I wish it wasn't so hard.Same here, anon. After it didn't work with my last therapist, I didn't try again for over a decade, so wanting to try again soon is so good.
No. 2188920
>>2188886Why that method? I wouldn't if I were you. I always thought bleeding out sounded more relaxing.
No one swoop in and tell me that's not as easy as it looks, let me have my nice warm bath fantasy.
No. 2188925
>>2188886Please don't kill yourself
nonny.
No. 2188932
File: 1727754312111.jpg (49.7 KB, 1290x942, GT3VQHDX0AAPGft.jpg)
weird post but i don't really have any friends to talk about it with, there's something wrong with my brain where i struggle to be intimate with my partner unless we're both getting something out of it
i came home from work tonight & he wanted to do stuff to me, but without doing stuff together i just can't get in the mood and just want to lay there and cry about it. this exact situation has happened multiple times and i guess i'm just rambling about it to get it out somewhere instead of it festering in my head
No. 2188964
File: 1727757467776.png (77.72 KB, 211x242, 1727438681409.png)
i swear to god, every time i find a supposedly female indie game dev it turns out to be a troon. my suspicions are always right. it makes me so sad. why is the indie game scene infested with troons? theyre like cockroaches.
i want to make games, and itd be fun to assemble a female-only development team (mostly because i dont wanna work with scrotes, CS moids are always horrible) but i know id just attract troons.
No. 2188976
>>2188964>>2188969sometimes i have to pretend to be a moid to talk in gamedev communities because if you say you're a girl they'll just mock you for dumb shit like using a premade engine (women are too stupid to write their own engines in c as an example) or you'll get the troon devs sliding into your dms with diaper pics (real story)
it's already such isolating work to stare at a computer for hours, doesn't help at all
No. 2188985
File: 1727759206908.jpg (9.72 KB, 275x275, 1726972164488.jpg)
>>2188969>it gets so lonely at times that it puts me off making anythingthat's bleak, but you have to do it for the few based women in gamedev out there. i believe in you nona…
and if you dont mind me asking, what kind of games do you make? have you ever released anything? i know there were some anons here talking about forming an indie game team, and i briefly considered emailing the nona setting up everything, but ive only just gotten into gamedev and id probably be completely useless. i wonder if anything ever came out of it though. i hope so!
>>2188976jfc. horrifying. another sign for me to stay away from gamedev communities
ignore how i had to delete and repost this kek No. 2188988
>>2188976right!! i'm lucky to have an androgynous name at times like that but they're either so fucking condesending or try to baby you like you know nothing augh
im so sorry you have to deal with those dms though nona, just know that they'll get what's coming to them in the end
>>2188985thank you nona!! i've made a few small itch.io games for jams and whatnot, i like making survival horror-adjacent things (cliche i know) but now i really want to make something worthwhile that i can properly publish and be like hey! i made this!
>id probably be completely uselessnot at all nona, everyone starts out somewhere & the scene always needs new brains (esp female ones)!! are you working on anything atm?
No. 2188996
>>2188985it's just fangames for my enjoyment, i saw nobody else making what i liked
imo after working on teams with actually useless people even the drive to do something is better than nothing at all. i'm sure there'll be a team that will accept you
>>2188990there's one buried in /m/ iirc
No. 2189003
>>2188988>are you working on anything atm…no, im hoping i can churn something out this year tho. id like to make weird experimental horror games, a la yames. hes(?) a big inspiration, i love how weird his stuff gets.
and you're right, i shouldnt undersell myself, but i still feel like i have to work on my skills a bit more before i collab with others.
>>2188990i think theres already a gamedev thread somewhere but no one uses it, rip
No. 2189005
>>2189003hell yeah! it's been cool to see games like mouthwashing get big recognition recently, the whole time while playing that i was thinking about how much i wanted to make something like it lmao
you've got this though nona! truck through & make the best damn experimental game you can
>>2189004i'm so sorry to hear about your family and your shitty situation anon, are there any rules in place that can protect you & allow you time off at all? (but also fuck them, i'm glad you're in a position that you're able to leave soon)
No. 2189022
File: 1727763454483.png (511.06 KB, 622x622, 154D4A86-D8F3-414D-B514-A02344…)
There’s a cute moid in my program that I took an interest in but he’s been acting like a retard so I have to give up. It was very obvious he was into me/wanted to approach me but too nervous which isn’t inherently a dealbreaker but there’s another girl who is clinging on to him and he’d rather entertain her laughing like an idiot than actually speak to me. He and his friends sat directly behind me yesterday and I could hear them talking about me and how he had wanted to talk to me but was too chicken shit to do it and that he was just going to hang out with this other girl instead. This is so childish and embarrassing. I didn’t approach him because I couldn’t read his interest on this girl and didn’t want to get involved if he was already into her but now it’s pretty clear she’s a dumb pick me who force giggles at everything he says and he likes the attention. She’s annoying and he sees her as the second option yet still chooses to lead her on which is embarrassing scrote behavior. I guess it’s better learning this now rather than three months in to talking.
No. 2189039
>>2189022If you really wanted him, even though he does sound beta and shitty, you could approach him and then be pushy later into the convo with like,
>"Hey, are you and (miss giggles) dating?" "Oh, you aren't? Huh… sorry, she's just always tailing behind you like a sick puppy, as though she's your girlfriend. It's kind of offputting. Would you like to go out with me sometime?"Men really often are just too autistic and need it spelled out for them, that's also how they're so easily manipulated. If he defends her at all, just drop your interest completely. You don't have much to lose in this case.
That said, it's with your discretion if he is even worth it.
No. 2189065
>>2189064What I hate about most of these pedos is they'll say "It's just media! It's not like I really want to fuck kids!"
But then they get outted for grooming kids on discord or snapchat.
No. 2189114
File: 1727774720031.jpg (971.99 KB, 2048x1094, 1000017084.jpg)
I'm never going to have anything for myself
No. 2189129
>>2189022Sorry Anon, but that’s on you. Men are retarded and I never understood this common belief that’s the man that has to take the first step.
If you thought he’s cute and he’s into you you should have made the first step instead of being just as retarded as he is.
Miss Giggles might be a pick me but at least she’s capable of taking the steps necessary to get what she wants.
No. 2189204
File: 1727785086039.png (3.26 MB, 1840x2064, 151651231561.png)
>Barely functional alcoholic
>Sober for a week now. It's not much but it's the longest I've gone since Covid
>Go to grocery store
>"Not getting the usual?"
I think she was trying to be jokingly friendly. I know I'm going to always be seen as this worthless alco neet in this small ass town. I'd like to get spiteful and turn it into motivation but I don't think she was being mean spirited. I'm going to have a mini cry and look at weird shit to unfuck myself out of this spiral.
No. 2189217
File: 1727786392838.jpg (40.07 KB, 680x592, 1b45239dd343a89b2ec99399aee097…)
I hate manosphere and pick-me content creators making 25+ yr old women seem like they're as unwanted as incel moids. Im 30 right now and i still pull about the same as I did when I was in my early 20s. And I love cats so much so I hate when they make older women + cats out to be such a negative thing. I can't be single with cats and just be left the fuck alone? It's such a retarded thing to shame women for. It's so angering. They make videos about hagmaxxing or whatever terminally online bullshit they come up with and older women having dwindling chances while they live a life directly contradicting that. I can just walk outside and understand that none of this is really true. But I guess it's still doing what they want it to do. It's scaring me into wanting to settle before I officially become this character of a broken, lonely old woman with cats they came up with.
No. 2189220
File: 1727786414335.jpg (123.85 KB, 949x1200, ALa0AAH.jpg)
>random user gives bad advice on Reddit
>I make a comment saying I'm an actual expert in the topic and politely explain why he is wrong and what OP should do instead
>"Well then OP, since we are giving contradicting info I guess you should ask someone who knows better than us"
>mfw
How can plebbitfags be so prideful despite being so retarded? The Dunning-Kruger effect is real. If this happened to me, I'd admit I was wrong and probably even thank the user for correcting me.
No. 2189232
>>2189220The upvote system just breeds egotism. If you go even slightly against the current you get downvotes even with evidence. My countries sub is a misery hole because of it.
+1 UpCows for your post
No. 2189257
File: 1727787881606.jpg (74.16 KB, 750x752, 4641eae5ed9aa37fe06f8651a2de87…)
It pisses me off that men aren't pressured to be pretty for women. In fact, ugly moids bully attractive and/or hygienic moids for putting in any effort. There are so many beautiful women in the world, and so many ugly moids, and the former is just expected to settle with the latter. I hate it.
No. 2189281
>>2189272like i said, pretending to "not care" isn't the same as having a backbone. if i can walk all over you this easily what stops a man from doing so? you think courtship rituals will save you ROFL bfr
>>2189274shut up
No. 2189330
>>2189307Anons are coping and giving you shit for this opinion, but this has been my exact experience with the last two scrotes I dated (one for almost 5 years, the other only for a couple months before I broke it off because he let me do everything). Show too much initiative early on - like asking them out, planning dates, starting the "what are we" conversation - and they get lazy and expect you to do everything forever.
My first boyfriend was insane kek, but he was the only one who actually made me feel wanted by planning dates for us, and asking me to be his girlfriend right away because he didn't want me dating anyone else. I think a big reason for it is because back then I was a lot less assertive and let him take the lead in the beginning.
Lesson learned though, from now on I'll let the scrote do everything until we are in a committed relationship. After that I don't mind it being more 50/50.
No. 2189341
>>2189330literally like i once saw this guy for a while who asked me out by pretending i had dropped a receipt and it had his number on it. it was like a cowardly way to ask me out and he only ever took me on 2-4 dates depending on what you’re counting and then moved on to just expecting me to be fine being taken to his house every time to try to hook up with me. i’m not giving men like that chances because they should honestly be putting more effort into wooing me.
maybe it’s different for women who don’t want kids but to me, he should know if he’s serious about me that he is auditioning and proving he can support and take care of me physically and emotionally because if i’m having a child, that is me sacrificing everything for a time including my body to basically fulfill everything else that i’m not already providing him that he wants in life while he does nothing but enjoy the process. men should realize that if they want their bloodline to continue they are indebted to the woman providing that. i’ll be treated well and shown that i will be provided for when i literally wont be able to because of him eventually or why should i risk even sleeping with him? i doubt i’ll be entirely financially dependent but i need to know there will be zero resentment when i can’t bring in income and i won’t be rushed back into work. it’s literally a safety thing. a roof needs to stay above my head and i need to be able to get enough sleep, proper nutrition to have a healthy baby and be a good mother who doesn’t develop PPD. a man who won’t take emotional risks, show his affection for me or show he can buy me a fucking meal is not worth risking my life over.
No. 2189346
>>2189342What? I didn't say anything about emotional vulnerability, I said moids get lazy if you take the lead when you first start dating. The first part of the other nona's post is also about that.
>>2189345Yes, actually. Unless you want to be in an unhealthy relationship that is doomed to fail. Always work on yourself before you start dating
No. 2189348
File: 1727793774774.jpg (108.37 KB, 1075x1355, 1000016679.jpg)
>>2189189and I accidentally told a lower manager that our higher manager approved me to take the day off because I was so delirious and confused from the fatigue and pain. tried to correct my mistake when I realized but apparently it still got back to her and now I look like a liar because I don't count as sick even though I was genuinely suffering. Kind of feel like quitting forever and returning to being a neet
No. 2189378
File: 1727796687569.gif (302.04 KB, 450x360, 98138291-7E72-46D1-8483-F49A0A…)
it’s painful being reminded of the multiple possibilities of many people’s lives… nothing will ever make me not feel like this planet is truly a harvesting farm which main product is people’s suffering. so many things that could’ve prevented my mother’s suffering, my sister’s suffering, my suffering.. people in their lives that failed them. men will never know what this shit is like, seeing women being completely failed and perpetuating that failure to their daughters. i want my mother to know what true happiness is, i wish I could go back into time and stop all of this from happening, so she can get the life she deserves, i would do anything just to stop it. i really don’t care if i wouldn’t exist, every woman’s happiness is traded when she has a family, her hopes and dreams detoriate and as a daughter you have to watch that as a possibility of your own future while you’re dealing with scrote relatives who are completely selfish and borderline sociopathic in nature. i just want to turn time back for real..
No. 2189380
File: 1727796855697.jpg (161.23 KB, 1079x661, 1716931435485.jpg)
Learning the moid coomer art style so I can rip off moids is crushing my soul..maybe I'll just become a yume artist.. I'm not attracted to moids but atleast I can draw pretty women that way… but yumes rarely ever fork up hundreds over commissions
No. 2189385
File: 1727797545049.gif (987.64 KB, 500x359, E7D7FC2D-CA20-43EE-9FF3-CF66BA…)
>>2189378samefag but I lost my tarot plug about two weeks ago, she used to post on here but now she isn’t anymore. it makes me depressed as fuck and i like reading her emails with the tarot answers. i mean she could’ve been lying about it just so she didn’t have to do it for me anymore but if it is true i miss her and hope she’s doing well
No. 2189467
File: 1727803179765.jpg (22.63 KB, 525x459, F3ZT3tlbUAAb9eK.jpg)
>>2189464And what anon..and WHAT!?
No. 2189483
File: 1727803832893.webp (88.29 KB, 1080x580, 1000017188.jpg)
I'm in so much mental and physical pain. I just wish that I had someone.
I don't want to be alone anymore
No. 2189539
>>2189459I don't really buy it. I don't believe any kind of stats from pornhub, they're bound to be infested with billions of bots to begin with (as anything even remotely related to porn always is) and it's in pornsites interest to make themselves look big and powerful, and to normalize porn so they get even more views and money. These are sites that are fully fine with posting actual rape and violence against women and children, they already have shit morals so there's no reason to trust anything they try to claim. And it's a fact that troons are more likely to be porn obsessed and would claim to be women too. So they'd be fucking up the stats too.
I've known plenty of women who are pornsick fujos obsessed with yaoi/gay mlm content. A few with hentai. To the point that they barely talk about anything else and that is their main hobby and they're fully open with it in private spaces with other women. I've still never met a woman who is that level of obsessed with "real" porn like on pornhub. I've known one who watched gay porn because of yaoi, but she still preferred her fantasy yaoi content over it.
No. 2189584
>>2189539I think a lot of women think masturbating over real people is a bit too rude/gross, or they don't like how fake and unemotional real porn is.
Kind of interested in seeing a statistic on that ngl.
No. 2189714
File: 1727813299729.jpeg (61.75 KB, 423x320, F0F4310C-6304-4636-8E3F-903560…)
I feel broken, juvenile, and so incredibly lonely. Why do people magnetize together like paired magnets that cross each other’s path, but I never feel that same pull? Other people go through life finding themselves attracted to people around them. That has never happened for me. One or two vague crushes in school in the distant past, but no intense feelings. A couple of years ago I found an odd looking famous person that I became really attracted to. But I still feel no attraction for anyone around me. No one I see online. No one on TV. No one. All the while now I have a newly awakened a desire for touch and romance and sex I never had before, but nowhere to put that energy and nothing to fulfill those desires. It’s given me a strange instinct to dress sharper, do my hair properly, lose the bit of fat off my previous skinnyfat self, but after all this I look in the mirror and wonder, ”who am I even trying to look good for? Why am I feeling compelled to do this?.”
I’m so touch-starved that I sometimes lay in bed and cry. I don’t understand why I’m so different from everybody else. When I think about the fact that if I’ve never felt that way about anyone in real life and I’m already in the second half of my twenties, it makes me think that it’s likely I will never feel that pull towards anyone. I’ll never have someone to give my affection and lust to. I will spend my nights without anyone by my side for the rest of my life. I can’t cope with this thought and I desperately want it not to be true, but I think I’m kidding myself.
No. 2189925
>>2189818Nonna you can only learn how to manage it. Don’t beat yourself too much, genetic is kind of hard to win. The only thing you can do is keep a good diet and exercise (which you have been doing anyway).
Good luck!
No. 2189940
File: 1727818948030.webp (95.04 KB, 885x977, angry-dishwasher-v0-4zcev7qgz1…)
Nonas be honest am I spoiled and wasteful for thinking like this???
My parents and my boyfriends family both do this thing where they refuse to run the dishwasher once a day unless it's full - to save water and money, and because running it half full "feels like a waste" to them.
To me this is super annoying and stupid! Because what my bf's family will do is they'll rinse EVERYTHING before putting it in, because they don't the food leftovers really dry into the items which then doesn't get fully cleaned by the dishwasher.
So basically they use extra water to rinse everything + then eventually the water from the dishwasher, and if they missed pre-cleaning a spot it's still dirty and needs more water to get cleaned. It's more work and potentially uses more water in the end. Not to mention if you only have one perfect bowl or whatever kitchen item it could be stuck dirty in the dishwasher for several days while you wait for it to get full so you can run it.
And what my parents will do is they'll refuse to run it until it's full, so the next day when there are more dirty dishes and they don't fit (which happens EVERY time) we still have to run it twice to clean everything. So instead of cleaning half one day, and then cleaning the rest the next there is a period where there has to be dirty dishes sitting out on the counter for hours waiting for the first run to finish. Which wouldn't happen if we had cleaned the first half the day before.
If you just run the dishwasher at the end of the day even if it's only half-full all the items are clean in the morning and you didn't have to rinse anything. I don't get why I'm the only one who thinks this is the better option! Hygiene is the one area I don't think it's worth "saving money" on, fuck saving money if it means we have to have gross dirty unusable dishes for half a week. Or am I just spoiled for wanting everything to be cleaned every single day and this is something nobody else does???
No. 2189987
File: 1727819682987.gif (91 KB, 220x220, no.gif)
>have been suffering from depression for years
>finally kick my ass into finally dismantle a gigantic top heavy desk (it is the biggest one I've ever seen in my entire life ffs) that I inherited in my room in a fevered few hours; it had been in middle of my room for months bc when I tried initially moving it it started breaking and threatened to collapse and got too scared to mess with it
>happy, proud of myself and even finally set up a work area for my printer and stuff, life feels 1% less insane
>start trying to sort other stuff
>end up with stuff and boxes strewn across my floor and lost on what to do next
>motivation rapidly dying especially as I realized the places I was sorting stuff into weren't even optimal and would create problems down the line
really should have started small, but tbh I had a mental break recently because I've been suffering from a chronic infection on top of everything else and really wanted to be able to clean my room. I get deathly ill just moving stuff around from all the dust, it's THAT bad. I just want this all to be over with
No. 2190128
File: 1727823033463.jpg (22.81 KB, 663x638, EQcc1qpWkAMcNMU.jpg)
i wish i was never born
i dont belong on this planet
No. 2190195
File: 1727826021534.jpg (61.14 KB, 736x736, 92a09fca9109fef57864b5ff932e48…)
>>2190128There's no such a thing nonna, you're here, you deserve to be here as much as anyone else. Even if the world seems unwelcoming to you, there's a place for you.
No. 2190340
>>2190333Yeah then everybody would clap and I'd go to Karen jail, wish I could give you an upvote
>>2190335It was purely physical, I just have a high sex drive and had a 10/10 old flame hit me up. I don't feel guilt just scared of being caught
No. 2190349
>>2190343Aw
nonnie, I'm sorry you got upset. Miscarriages are so sad and scary to think about.
No. 2190353
>>2190335Nonnies are projecting what happens to women who get cheated on and presume men get cheated on for the same reasons. Or it's just butthurt men.
>>2190340 men are stupid and you will get away with it. I just wouldn't recommend staying in a relationship where the option to cheat seems worth the risk. It's clearly lacking something, if not respect for your partner.
I didn't feel bad when I cheated on my ex. The reality was I had no way out of that relationship without him going nuclear and scorched earth (which he did do when I left him), and he refused to change his ways and be a man so I resented him. He always bitched about multiple exes cheating on him and it made perfect sense why.
No. 2190354
>>2189504>>2190298thank you nonas, it's really appreciated <3
yeah i guess it's a sorta mindset where i feel like i'm not deserving of it unless i make someone else happy? it's strange and i never thought it was an issue until last night where he seemed upset that i didn't want anything, it's also rough because i work night shifts so we rarely get any alone time unfortunately
thank you guys again for being lovely, i'll definitely have a talk about it this weekend <3
(<3) No. 2190374
File: 1727837192405.png (586.71 KB, 1080x2400, 1000017197.png)
I ruined my life
No. 2190402
we had a group assignment in college, I normally do most of the work myself so we don't have trouble, but I've been feeling very tired and in a bad mood this last month.
this assignment is not only mine, everyone else should do something too, but we just couldn't get properly organized
my friend promised to do the last part we needed but she had last minute inconveniences, so the tif in my group said she would do it
I feel I purposely left the rest of the work to them, I did my part too so it's not like I didn't do anything at all
yet I feel so guilty over not being attentive enough, I feel if I don't do most of the assignment, no one will and this proved it
they did everything last minute
the tif did the document in a rush and I made my best to print it in time
what happened is that, the tif got very stressed she broke her computer screen and slit her wrists she always tends to be problematic and have outbursts but so do I
I'm sensitive so I can't help but feeling guilty. I know I shouldn't hang out with her but she's very hard to push away when she's in the same friend group. seeing her cuts makes me want to do the same so I know
maybe I'm afraid to be lonely and without friends away that I just go with whatever
I want to be closer with the one friend that promised to do the document, but she's genuinely retarded it stresses me a lot
talking bad sbout them makes me feel more guilt since I'm no saint, I'm so tired and scared
No. 2190404
>>2190399but how do you know? our entire existence is full of the unknown, what if you went out tomorrow and bumped into someone that was your perfect fit?
i had the exact same mentality as you a few years ago and found my current partner by shitposting about ps1 games online. there's a million chances out there nona, you just need to keep looking
i truly hope you're able to get out of your funk at least for tonight, is there anything you're looking forwards to doing soon?
No. 2190417
>>2190410I just made the same comment on the same exact clip. I hate this podcast. It comes off so trashy. Yet, it supposedly promotes puritan and conservative values. They're pandering to right wing moids. Trying to shift all the blame on women for the porn industry existing. All of their arguments are incredibly weak.
It's the same thing as right wing thots that sexualize themselves and then act morally virtuous and above girls that are doing sex work.
No. 2190438
>>2190407don't know what you mean by that but graphic design actually
the work isn't even that hard yet shit like this happens
No. 2190457
File: 1727845338343.jpeg (108.42 KB, 1169x604, IMG_5294.jpeg)
My father told me that I have this idea that no one could possibly understand me but I don’t want to be understood, so I’ve crafted this whole narrative about being misunderstood and mistreated by everyone around me and having a horrible upbringing. I think he’s right. I feel like I have no identity outside of being an outsider. I’m a grown ass woman and I don’t even know what my sexual orientation is. I’m a detransitioner and I don’t know if I would still be masculine if the world didn’t quite literally beat it out of me.
I’m a chameleon, I react to different situations like an entirely different person. Sometimes I massively under-react when someone has legitimately wronged me, other times I blow up at what most people would consider a mildly irrational situation. I feel like at some point I just shattered into a million fragments because I wanted to be liked so badly that I developed a split personality and now I don’t know what the “real me” looks like, or if she even exists. I don’t wan’t to sound like a terminally online blue-haired Tik Tok teen but sometimes I really feel like I have multiple personality disorder
No. 2190520
File: 1727849728413.jpg (49.1 KB, 980x1000, 71o1UYE2hpL._AC_UF1000,1000_QL…)
>>2190511get picrel for shitting and pee funnel for peeing
No. 2190526
>>2190520what the fuck no do not use an enema while not at home unless you want to ass blast everywhere. The most I’d use while not in the comfort of my own bathroom is a glycerin suppository but you still have to sit to poop unless you’re like that one girl in my elementary school who’d stand on the seat to squat over the bowl. your best option is just to poop freely and own it like nothing happened if you can but I’m one of those people who literally cannot poop and won’t even feel the urge unless I’m at home with absolute privacy.
They sell disposable toilet seat covers in a little plastic case in the travel toiletry isle in a lot of stores just fyi
No. 2190530
>>2190526>I’m one of those people who literally cannot poop and won’t even feel the urge unless I’m at home with absolute privacy. I thought I was the only one! Unless I know there's a toilet around that I've used before I don't even feel the need to pee. I can easily go at least 12h + without peeing with no discomfort whatsoever. Even if I can see the toilet signs but I've never used them my brain doesn't register it as an option until I've used them at least once.
Meanwhile I know people who will literally shit behind a bush if they can't find a toilet within 30 min of needing to poop because otherwise they'd shit themselves no matter where they are.
>>2190520I have no idea what that is or how to use it and I'm scared to ask kek
No. 2190533
>>2190530It’s an enema bulb. You use it to squirt water or water with other stuff in it into your ass to help you poop.
>>2190531That’s wild, I’d still never be comfortable doing that anywhere but home. I have severe constipation issues and plain water does nothing for me (water with aloe Vera gel works) so maybe that’s the difference. Those disposable fleets saline enemas sometimes help if I’m desperate and fearing impaction but I hate having to use them. I’m glad t that works for you but I’m still shook that there’s people walking around with an enema bulb in their purses lol
No. 2190535
>>2190530>I have no idea what that is or how to use it and I'm scared to ask kekyou just use it to pump some water into your butt, wait like 30 seconds and then empty it so you don't have to push out the shit yourself because all of it comes out with the water quickly, but
>>2190526 said it can be explosive so idk if I can recommend it anymore. I never had any issues. It's definitely good if you are constipated though. The funnel is a good thing to have with yourself.
No. 2190660
File: 1727869943493.png (2.13 MB, 1046x1302, jordan_shrinks.png)
>>2190592Seconding other anons, build muscles to look more balanced and fill out the skin.
And I'm gonna be blunt here: looking fat IS already also disgusting, just a different kind of it. The difference is being fat comes with many, many more negatives and health risks. Being at a healthy weight with saggy skin lets you experience the world without the hinders being fat comes with. If you wear long sleeves nobody can tell you have saggy skin under it so you'd be moving through the world as a normal average sized person.
There are also surgeries to remove saggy skin, which comes at a risk and will leave scars - but it is possible to remove a lot of saggy skin. You can also get boob lifts and such to help you look more balanced if looking good is important to you. But at the core - losing weight will make you healthier and you'll be able to live a longer fuller life. That's worth the trade off. Picrel is Jordan Shrinks, a former obese woman who lost the weight on her own and then had skin removal surgery, and I believe also a boob lift surgery some years later. She still has some lose skin (you can see her belly button looks really long because of it) but she's still able to be confident and look hot. You got this nona.
No. 2190672
>>2189940No you are me and I am you! I hate dishwashers they are the bane of my existence not only have I lost precious mugs to the dishwasher because people don’t read if mugs are dishwasher safe before putting it in. 9/10 most people don’t even know how to use a dishwasher so I always end up having to re wash everything by hand anyway because there is still food particles everywhere.
The reason your parents have to wash before washing is because they know deep down dishwashers don’t wash shit they just spray dishes with soapy water for an hour or 2. Terrible invention . I have yet to see a dishwasher clean a dish better than if I used my hand. Dishwashers are the AI of cleaning it’s meant to make your life easier on the surface but is making it 2x more difficult and making you use 2x the water power that could quench a whole city town
No. 2190773
File: 1727880848037.jpg (8.64 KB, 225x275, 1724359380266.jpg)
>Wake up
>Go to gym
>Go to work
>Go back home at 7 pm
>Repeat 4x until weekend
>Weekend
>Oversleep bc exhausted
>Go on shitty date with another shitty moid and get depressed
>Have existential crisis and waste Sunday being depressed
>Weekend over, start back again Monday
I feel like i need to go do something crazy to break the cycle. I dont have anything to look forward to no matter how hard I try to find positive things.
No. 2190800
File: 1727882479272.jpg (37.57 KB, 616x453, 1726368828485454.jpg)
>>2190796>letting a fat person into your life so much so that they 'ruin' it>not only once but twice>letting her live rent free in your head to this extent>thinking your obsession with her is some kind of ownyou need a hobby
No. 2190811
File: 1727882985388.png (34.96 KB, 187x188, pot.png)
Anyone else sometimes feel psychosis start to creep in and you have to try to beat it down like keeping a mutant in a basement? I have some things that pop up in my head when I'm not doing well, usually starts with Fear and Suspicion of my neighbors as well as randomly finding deep Meaning in everyday interactions. I am pretty good at knowing when it's delusion, realistically I'm just frustrated with my groundhog day life and like 5 stressors I can't solve so my brain tries to create something else to focus on. Really sucks experiencing this though. Like I feel deeply that my neighbor is making retaliatory knocks and acting weird as a personal attack against me. Running a leafblower outside at 10pm last night and every time I look out the window to see wtf they are doing they hide. Then when they are done they SLAMMED their front door so hard all the dishes rattled in my cupboard. My chest hurts so bad when they do that crap and I tell myself over and over it's not about me but I'm the only one they share a wall with as an end unit and it feels targeted. I make any noise in the kitchen within 30 seconds I will get a single retaliatory knock back. Even if their car is gone, I think one of them is always home.
No. 2190859
>>2190773why was it shitty
nonny what happen
No. 2190946
File: 1727890768194.jpg (169.89 KB, 735x1144, e9ca25c5694b2c480ef157b58115ac…)
I keep getting this weird feeling/thought that I'm going to die soon, like in a month's or three months' time, so I haven't been doing a single productive thing. I know I shouldn't procrastinate and throw my life away but I can't shake this feeling off and it's really eating me up that I can't tell anyone because I'll probably get sent to the mental hospital. I have no idea how to deal with this
No. 2190948
File: 1727890781929.jpg (189.24 KB, 635x704, 1000015041.jpg)
You think that because I wfm I sit on my ass and do nothing all day. Please stop coming over in the mornings, getting drunk, screaming at fighting games and expecting me to engage with your one-man comedy routines! I AM WORKING
No. 2190979
File: 1727892887786.jpeg (31.41 KB, 460x434, IMG_5007.jpeg)
I got the post-lunch sleepies
No. 2191169
File: 1727903812242.jpeg (309.92 KB, 596x620, IMG_2656.jpeg)
I should just stop writing elaborate paragraphs and just start responding in brainrot phrases and words, it clearly isn’t worth it. Nobody cares, nobody is reading what you have to say, just stop talking and responding to people, this is no longer the 2010s people don’t have the capacity to read more than two-three sentences because their attention span matches the amount of word count in a tweet. What is the point of having friends if they don’t listen to you? What is the point of talking to people if they don’t listen? I’m done typing, talking, trying to explain and defend my point and then having the thought police hovering over my head because I didn’t react in a way that would make everyone feel comfortable and accepted, it almost makes me want to go on a rampage just saying the most heinous shit.
No. 2191296
File: 1727908522920.jpg (273.61 KB, 1600x1600, 1000068229.jpg)
I really hate being stressed, my dad is addicted to this shit. Today I lost my kumamon keychain that my brother reluctantly got for me while he was in Japan, and it was all because I was too stressed to notice when it fell.
I'm sad because I really liked that keychain, it was the only sped thing I let myself show at work because it's subtle and it goes well with my bag since it kind of has the same colors.
I really hate this whole work shit, I want to kill myself.
No. 2191302
>>2191286Yikes, I'm sorry
nonny, that sounds scary as fuck. Do you think she would get physical over this, or just yell at you? I wish I could help you by giving some good advice, but I think bunkering down in your room like you already are until she calms down might be the best course of action right now. Stay safe
No. 2191336
File: 1727910745140.jpg (329.58 KB, 1179x1141, 1000017224.jpg)
I don't wish my life on anybody
No. 2191463
File: 1727915881365.png (249.43 KB, 571x505, nokotan.png)
I cheated on my boyfriend and I immediately started a new relationship with the other guy. The other guy is sweet, treats me better but I can't stop thinking about that shitfaced manchild. How is it I can't get over him if I was the one cheating? Is that my price for being a bitch?
No. 2191511
File: 1727919251455.jpg (23.79 KB, 539x561, crying.jpg)
>scholiosis
>acne
>big tits
>breast cancer
>autism + ADHD
>thirdie poorfag
jesus fucking christ why cant i have one single thing in my favour? i feel like i was born to live in constant pain and suffering. Maybe i should have died in that accident 10 years ago and now god is punishing me for defying fate.
No. 2191530
>>2191515thanks
nonny, i think its the amount of shit i got to deal with that fucks me up, if it was only one or two things i would be more peaceful. I wish my body would just let me breathe for a little. I feel tired.
No. 2191599
File: 1727927833632.jpg (86.16 KB, 736x736, 1000014298.jpg)
i would kill myself now if it meant my parents didn't have to burden the funeral costs. i don't care what happens after i die, use the body for animal feed or something. my life feels like a slow and drawn out torture, what escape do i have? i am so unhappy, i have exhausted so mamy options to stop feeling this way and i always come back to this point. i can't even off myself without financial stress, this world is so fucking bleak.
No. 2191621
>>2191599why do you want to kys
nonny?
No. 2191645
File: 1727934021379.jpg (5.97 KB, 250x250, 1651040432808.jpg)
>>2191639nta but im 22 and i feel like nothing has gotten better since high school and then covid happened and it got even worse and idk how much more of this shit i can take lol. please just fucking turn around already before i go insane!!
No. 2191677
File: 1727940684158.png (248.61 KB, 500x400, IMG_3302.png)
i genuinely hate being alive. like, being a mammal overall sucks and life is just so cruel. i’m only alive to daydream and enjoy fiction, because there is nothing good about reality. currently in the process of getting a degree that will allow me to work remotely, once I do I will just become a hermit and consume media in my house.
No. 2191731
File: 1727949252400.jpg (27.36 KB, 519x508, 1684170429395.jpg)
I can't walk aimlessly around my apartment in deep thought while doing strange motions with my hands because there are construction workers on my balcony and I don't want to seem psychotic. Instead I have to sit on my laptop and look like I'm doing something important. I'm dying on the inside.
No. 2191736
File: 1727949743940.png (116.76 KB, 213x228, 1557872985482.png)
>go to doctors office for standard checkup
>woman who is sneezing and coughing her head off sits directly next to me in the waiting room
>im going to get sick aren't i
>2 days later
>sick
I really wish people who have the flu and cold, covid etc would just stay the fuck home because it's not like the doctor can cure you anyway and if you're in good enough condition to come to the doctor you can just stay the fuck home! But no, they can't, because your employer needs some bullshit sick note to "prove" you're sick, forcing every sick retard to infect everyone else with their sick just to get a piece of paper. Now I need a fucking sick note so I get to infect someone else, and the cycle of retardation continues.
No. 2191741
File: 1727950188249.jpg (110.41 KB, 736x1038, 1000017154.jpg)
I have given up on my life. I have fallen out of the face of the planet. Everyone is telling me to kill myself. My life is deprived of anything. Throughout all of these 16 years in which I have been suicidal on a daily basis. Nobody has ever stayed after my ass or been fully involved with me.
I've been made to feel like a dog my whole life.
No. 2191753
>>2191752I've always been pushed aside and made to feel like a piece of shit.
I had to chase people like a dog my whole life. Nobody's ever stayed after me or been fully involved with me.
No. 2191767
>>2191764You're right. At the same time, they also have pieces of shit in their government protecting their sadistic moidlets (if they're not part of it themselves, I know one piece of shit boymom was literally buying her son cats to rape and torture), and Chinese culture purposely punishes acts of decency. It's the same country where moids are posting farm animals from behind on mainstream websites and talking about wanting to rape them.
All the shittiest countries in the world enable or turn a blind eye to animal abuse, it's not a coincidence.
No. 2191772
>>2191766Because I saw something and it pissed me off to read a bunch of Chinese scrotes defending it, cooming to it and purposely spamming it. I reported them, but knowing their country allows it and they'll never be punished, even when the actual good Chinese people dox and expose them is enraging.
>>2191768Those moids should be killed too. But at least in the US, they'd get jailtime. China? A slap on the wrist. Not even that lol. Best you can hope is that they get expelled from their universities or fired from their jobs if they aren't just bums. It's not a racial issue, it's an issue with their shit government. Stop covering their asses by crying "racism", retard. Your race doesn't make you an animal abuser.
No. 2191779
>>2191774Chinese women do have a choice, as can be seen by the Chinese women who actually speak against it. I don't feel bad for quasi-sociopathic pickmes who purposely, deliberately enable moids in their abuse of other women, children and animals in any country. The French moids should be castrated too.
>>2191777Point out where I generalized the whole population. Anyway, every country that enables animal rape and torture deserves to be ashamed and internationally embarrassed until they actually take action against it. China should be known as a land of animal rapists up until their government is so humiliated they enact laws and make examples of the perpetrators. If your feelings are hurt, be more hurt by the people creating that reputation.
No. 2191845
My dad is one of those people that believes introversion is an error or bad habit you should fix, not an actual personality trait. There's a difference between being shy (I think he's referring to this) and being an introvert, every time I try to explain this to him, he thinks it doesn't make sense. Just because he socialmaxxed he thinks I can pull the same stunt too, I could bullshit it to some extent if needed (at work, errands, etc), but my battery will eventually run low because again, I'm not an actual extrovert, I don't get energy from social interactions but the opposite. Also, he knows my brain is certainly kind of wacky in that regard, I was diagnosed schizoid 5 years ago after my grandpa developed schizophrenia, so, besides the personality I've always had, there's that running on my family's genetics.
I wonder if he's unwilling to accept my condition because of my gender, schizoid in females is rare and maybe he thinks I could easily fix it, he does think women are naturally more socially inclined
No. 2191871
>>2191869>loves trannies>acts like lolcow is some female only Nosleep space where we must not acknowledge that there are men who use this siteAt least
I'm cute with common sense ♥
(infighting) No. 2191913
File: 1727967341673.jpg (260.7 KB, 667x467, 1000017074.jpg)
AAAAAA I SAW CHILD PORN. Like my day wasn't bad enough.
No. 2192051
>>2190506I guess its more the allure of being foreign, I would love to trade
nonnie!
No. 2192136
File: 1727981098683.jpg (90.72 KB, 735x699, 1000068420.jpg)
I'm so tired, I don't know what I'm going to do when I don't have my family with me anymore, this is really worrisome to me.
This week I had the opportunity to work at a school from 7 to 2, and it's driving me nuts, I seem to be calm but the nervousness is killing me and my huge wish to not be there makes me want to kill myself whenever a student talks to me in any shape or form. Stil, I'm kind and all that stuff, I'm not like those weird power tripping nurses and teachers, I may hate where my life has lead me, but I try to be decent.
Then I have another job from 4 to 6, by the time I'm back home I just go to sleep so I can wake up at 5 am to get ready for work.
My parents help me by cooking, cleaning, keeping everything nice st home, buying the groceries and everything else, they actually don't want me to help at home.
The thing is that I've been getting horribly sick these days, I have diarrhea because I don't go to the bathroom during the day and while I'm at work and I also have horrible migraines at night.
Like, if this is my life with my parents' help, then how the fuck am I going to survive when they're not around? I will have to kill myself.
No. 2192206
File: 1727983055150.jpg (129.51 KB, 1179x1155, 1000017245.jpg)
I'M BATSHIT FUCKING INSANE (not in the quirky way). IN THE WAY THAT MAKES ME FALL OFF THE FACE OF THE PLANET
No. 2192255
File: 1727985312739.jpeg (497.45 KB, 1125x1368, 15124A09-F43A-449C-ADFC-797A09…)
Currently living in a disaster area. The main source of communication has been the radio with people calling in with info. The past few days the calls have been inundated with people saying that they are starting a prayer chain, that communities in other states are praying for us, and general blessings. The thought is nice and all but I would rather hear updates about power restoration and if the water is safe to drink yet.
No. 2192273
>>2192136Also, I really, really hate how all jobs must always include having to talk with any sort of public, I'm a fucking autist, my face blindness is really fucking bad, I literally can't tell apart two people unless they have really different skin tones and even then I have a bad time figuring out how they fuck their faces are supposed to look like.
I also just don't give a fuck, I don't want to learn some rando's mug because I know I won't see it in a few years.
Why are there no jobs for autists? Shit where you don't need to speak to anyone for more than a few seconds at best, where I don't have to make sure anyone behaves like a fucking normal person and where I don't need to speak loudly at all.
I'm just sick of dealing with people, of dealing with kids, of talking to anyone, of repeating the same information over and over again, of listening to the phones of others parroting the most retarded of memes over and over and over and over again.
God I just want to fucking die, I hope this whole shit of having 2 jobs at the same time fucking kills me.
My parents are also always telling me that I should be happy that I have this opportunity, you know what was actually a good opportunity? Working for the united nations editing shit, it was a fake job with a good payment, I only needed to speak to a few people at best and usually by mail, that was my fucking dream job but then I had to come back to this place and work as the lowest of the low, a fucking teacher.
Talking to the other teachers makes me wonder just, how the fuck do they cope? What kind of autism do they all have and why don't I have it too? Because I've been working at that school for like 2 years and I already feel like I'm chewing a whole pack of bubblicious gum every single day, like every classroom is literally the same every year with different names.
It's literally insanity, it's trying to make people learn and behave by doing the same shit every year, like why? Why do this shit?
I'm just so tired.
No. 2192365
File: 1727989490548.jpg (30.42 KB, 500x500, 1000040999.jpg)
>>2192323I have used this
No. 2192420
File: 1727991004325.webp (45.15 KB, 1085x1079, 1000017242.jpg)
Has anyone faced a lot of rejection from men? I've always been made to feel like I'm a simp and a fucking dog.
No. 2192454
>>2192435Ty anon.
It was finally time I needed to move on with my life.
I acquired a new Nigel and he his leagues more caring and thoughtful than former partner. I finally feel like I’m finally in a normal nontoxic relationship.
No. 2192580
File: 1727996944928.jpeg (114.01 KB, 736x488, IMG_3088.jpeg)
If I’m lucky, I get one good week a month wherein I feel driven, clear-headed and alive. Healthy. When I feel it I wonder, is this how everyone else feels, all or most of the time? Is this why people can achieve things and I can’t? I would give anything to feel like that even just for two weeks out of the month. The difference is like night and day.
Then there is the week before my period which is the opposite. Drinking, strong desire to disappear, crying, the lot. My period is regular, so I can tell myself ‘I am just experiencing hormonal fluctuations’, but it doesn’t work. It’s all too strong. I used to be depressed and felt absolutely nothing; now there is this storm to sail whose moments of calm are bittersweet because of their brevity.
I have a deep mistrust of doctors (and although there is definitely a pattern which corresponds to my cycle, it is more unpredictable than that, and I think it is a spiritual problem too) — but this is so unbearable that I might see one. I can’t commit to anything long-term despite feeling so capable when I’m ‘up’. I literally cannot live like this
No. 2192601
>>2192593Oh
nonny. I think you deserve to be happy, you should block her and maybe start spending more time outside people watching lady strangers instead? Try to figure out what you're attracted to?
No. 2192633
>>2192594I have blocked her, but I'm retarded so I keep unblocking her days later to see her face again, I have no self control. I wish I had a friend who could steal my phone from me and beat me with a shoe if they saw I had her unblocked. Maybe I need to go to jail or something, it's starting to seem like that's the only way I'd be able to stop.
>>2192601>start spending more time outside people watching lady strangers instead? Try to figure out what you're attracted to?this is the most shit thing about the situation– I've never been attracted to any woman fully except her. I've tried to force myself into finding other women attractive but I can't, I guess she was my "exception" as dumb as that sounds. (The closest I get is recognizing similar features to her in other women and liking those, but only because they remind me of her, and still, hers are just way more beautiful.) The other shit thing is that after falling in love with her, I can't go back to moids because it's not the same anymore, I realized never loved any of them even a fraction as much as I loved her. I feel like I've ruined my life.
No. 2192733
File: 1728004324927.gif (2.68 MB, 498x268, i-called-twice-tiger-king.gif)
>30s
>monthly hormonal shifts as bad as when I was a teenager except now I have real adult problems
>ugly cry, feel suicidal, generally hopeless, unlovable, work stress, etc.
>know deep down friend group doesn't like me
>guess that's just what happens when people get to know me beyond a superficial level, or I just refused relationships with multiple moids in group so now I am "annoying"
>convinced they keep me around cause I am useful and a money resource
>anyway
>post in group chat about my feelings, not something I do ever at all it's just that today is hitting me hard and could use support
>one heart and one hug react
>someone else immediately posts a picture of a burn they are all currently chilling at because they all live together in the same apartment complex meanwhile I live an hour away and no one ever comes to see me or hang out
>cannot tell if they posted about burn to change subject, or to try to make me feel better
>pretty sure it was just to change subject cause them posting how they are having a good time hanging out does not make me feel better
>cool girl, pretend I am happy for them
Jesus nons end me.
No. 2192756
>>2192746>they want you to be honest with themLol no they don't. They want you to be a convenient, self-sacrificing handmaiden. Chicken wasn't thawed after coming home from your work shift? Don't burden your poor man with your complaints, just burn the extra energy to quietly pick up behind him–and he will leave much for you to do. Like thawing and cooking the chicken for him so that way when he acts surprised later that you picked up the task that he was totally gonna do after his eleventh round of vidya, you still give him the brownie points for his supposed intentions cause it's his thoughts that really count! And if you don't and expect them to do better, then you're a bitch.
It's weaponized incompetence. Male brains are trying to convince themselves that they are good people by making women the villains in their headcannons.
No. 2192806
File: 1728010442165.jpg (43.58 KB, 540x540, tumblr_7ed7490dc1e8fce7773add1…)
i think im developing an eating disorder and idk what to do. for the last month or so, every lunchtime at work i eat my food and then rush to the toilets to immediately throw it up. i just hope this is a phase and i calm down within the next few week
No. 2192808
File: 1728010505812.jpeg (938.39 KB, 1125x1319, 600684E4-B418-461D-88C9-FDA572…)
>>2192291Wtf anon my power was restored tonight after being out for a week…. Thank you…
No. 2192827
>>2192809honestly im not too fussed about the teeth part, im surprisingly comfy at dentists
>>2192824it is yeah, before this i'd throw up maybe 3 times a year from eating waaay too much and feeling super uncomfortable, and i guess it's developed into feeling uncomfortably full after any meal. i only make myself sick at work because i can go into a private stall haha, at home i just live with my partner so i don't want him to hear me doing it
No. 2192849
>>2191645AYRT and sort of a late response but I felt the same as you (also self-harmed, attempted suicide, the works) all the way into my late 20s. It was the most isolating and depressing shit and I wanted to kill myself every time I woke up to the point where going to sleep gave me severe amxiety every night.
But in my late 20s something just clicked for me and I started pursuing an actual direction in life, which gave me some modicum of purpose. Crazily, I also had more energy as a result than I ever had even in my teens because I was honestly just enthusiastic to be living my life. Met people in my pursuit. I had very few means to work off of but I felt alive for the first time in living memory.
I remember thinking too, at some of my darkest moments where I wanted to die the most, trying to console myself with "I have to see what's around the corner. I could meet somebody who changes my life at the grocery store tomorrow for all I know." And kek that didn't happen but there really came a time when I met somebody who became the best friend I've ever had, just out of the blue.
I'm nearly 30 now and can confidently say I'm happy with myself and my life. There was a period of time in the beginnings of my change where I was still constantly afraid of falling back into the pits of misery I was in before– it was so bad, I wasn't sure if I could ever do it again. But I don't even worry about that anymore. In having been through it and having continued living to accrue experience, I feel confidence in my resilience.
I hope this isn't too sappy, but nonna, I genuinely do think suicide isn't the right choice because you never know what's around the corner. You don't know what's coming, but you have to keep living or you'll never see it.
No. 2192857
>>2192690PHASE 0: Preparation. Take a picture of your room. Open the blinds and windows if the weather allows it. Pick a corner and bring any dirty dishes there to the kitchen counter. Return to your corner. This will be where you live until this area of the room is sparkling clean, so get all the cleaning supplies you might need beforehand. Bring water and a small snack. Get at least two trash bags.
PHASE 1: Garbage. Trash bag number one is for throwing out all garbage and things you haven't used in 6 months but have been keeping "just in case". Don't even think about what you are throwing out, just let your instincts lead your hand.
PHASE 2: Laundry. Put all your dirty laundry into trash bag number two. Throw both trash bags into the hallway or place them in a different corner so they are out of sight for now.
TAKE A 10 MINUTE BREAK. This is very important. Drink water. Eat a bit of your snack. Admire how much cleaner this corner already looks just from such little work.
PHASE 3: Clutter. Look at all the clutter that's left over. Put it all in a box/on a tray/in another garbage bag. While you do this, think about where each object actually belongs. You don't know? Mentally come up with a home for the object. You can't? Throw it in garbage bag number one.
Every 20 minutes, take a BREAK. Drink. Eat. Admire your work, and how much you did in just 20 minutes.
PHASE 4: Clean. Clean up any grime on the walls or floor. Sweep the dust bunnies out from under your furniture, and then wipe all tables or anything else that is visibly dirty.
Every 20 minutes, TAKE A 10 MINUTE BREAK. You know the drill by now. DEA. Drink, eat, admire.
DONE with this corner? Bring your garbage to the dumpster. Throw your laundry in the washing machine and put the dishes in the dishwasher. Don't have one? They can stay on the counter for now, deal with them later.
EAT SOME ACTUAL FOOD.
REPEAT these phases for each corner of the room, until you have as many garbage bags or boxes you needed to fill to have a clutter-free room.
PHASE 5: Final touches. Vacuum and wipe the floors. And I mean really wipe them with water, whatever detergent your floor can handle, and a mop. This will make your room smell fresh as fuck, and it's good to do it once a week to keep your space smelling good. Do your dishes if you haven't yet. If any random clutter has a home in the room you just got done with, display or sort it there.
Every 20 minutes, TAKE A 10 MINUTE BREAK. DEA.
Once every corner of this room is done, take a picture. Look at your before picture, then this after picture. Admire how much you achieved, and how great your room looks and smells. Really internalize that it wasn't even that difficult. Maybe it was even kind of fun and therapeutic.
I personally prefer to marathon my entire apartment at once because I know I'll get lazy the next day and never finish the other rooms, but if you think you are disciplined enough to keep cleaning tomorrow then do that.
But if this took a really long time and you physically can't handle cleaning anymore, you are done for today. Repeat this entire process with your other rooms the days after.
And there you have it. I'm a complete mess when it comes to cleaning, but this is what I've found really works for me when I need to reset my apartment. I hope my guide helps at least a bit. It really seems much, much worse than it actually is. Good luck nona, you can do it.
No. 2192861
File: 1728017367532.png (424.76 KB, 640x640, 1691761923225.png)
Couldnt finish cooking my damn ramen because my dad kept bitching in my ear about the living room getting hot. Retard i will show you what "hot" actually means when i throw boiling water on your ugly mug and you're forced to live as a disfigured freak for the rest of your life a-logging over. sorry
No. 2192877
File: 1728018521779.png (651.79 KB, 1920x1080, image_2024_03_22T11_02_18_663Z…)
Due to recent med changes I've been a little incontinent. I pee all the goddamn time. Even minutes after thinking I've for sure emptied my bladder. Have a long car trip with a friend tomorrow and bought some super absorbent pads just in case but I wonder if I should've just bought an adult diaper instead (fuck that not risking it show through my clothing)
There should be another thirty year gap between right now and when I might start losing bladder control "naturally", so fuck me I guess. This sucks.
No. 2192890
File: 1728019515877.jpeg (347.34 KB, 1125x1123, B543FA12-3844-4EE7-8A22-0435EE…)
>>2192863Reminds me of how my ex with a fancy professional degree from an Ivy League was literally incapable of remembering basic shit or following instructions. He graduated with honors and some sort of distinction in a highly competitive field but was physically unable to put away leftovers when asked or remember when my birthday was? Fuck off they just don’t care. Don’t coddle them with gentle requests, they should feel bad they need that level of pampering to perform basic everyday tasks like a 12 year old left at home for the first time. Gross.
No. 2192913
>>2192898There are guys out there who are specifically attracted to pale skin and boob veins.
But really you should never be making yourself depressed about hypotheticals.
No. 2192971
>>2190867Had 2 beautiful girl cats, both passed away. My real best friends. My favored moid sibling called one female cat "crazy" because she enforced boundaries by "being mean" to the male cat, by hissing. The other female cat he called "dyke" in a "joking" way for deniability, just because he didnt like the word I used to talk about troons. Idk why moid sibling got offended at that, as he's supposedly straight, why he would take it out on an innocent female cat?
Was considering adopting a cat, got attached to one. Same moid sibling adamantly said "NO FEMALE CATS" and pointed at me, supposedly because she wouldnt get along with our current cat. The female cat was eventually adopted by someone else, so I missed out.
Boymom told me it was betrayal to get another cat. Until she found 2 male cats up for adoption that she wants. They both only want to adopt male cats, not females. They used to complain that we have mostly female cats, hardly any males.
I love both, but ever since I can remember, Ive always had to be the guardian and defender of our female cats.
So many insults.
>>2190933Same. Even said as much to my mom after we witnessed a moid chimpout at 2 women employees while out. I said "I wish men didnt exist, there would be almost no violent crime like murder, rape, etc". And mom was like, "no..I dont wish that". So the violence women face is worth it to her? Shes a (formerly) battered wife and current boymom, so ig thats why shes like that.
No. 2192987
>>2188582I can sort of relate. Except my situation is boymom (called BM) and favored moid sibling (called MS), and they sometimes triangulate me. Theres no break from them. They rarely go out, usually one stays home. If I go out with BM due to my fear of going out alone and re-experiencing male violence, sometimes MS invites himself too. They dont sleep much, and one offsets the others sleep schedule by several hours, so theres never privacy in a way. I can almost never really relax. Like you, I feel like a prisoner. I go outside, BM tells me she was watching me, while "forgetting" to turn on the outdoor lights, yet never forgets to do so for MS. BM and MS even delayed my passport application for years now (long story, cant circumvent them).
Each day, MoidSibling either hides behind furniture eavesdropping on my conversations, watches the mirrors around the room to report any negative facial expression to boymom (yes, really). Or hes hyperactive at all hours with boots on up and down the stairs, in and out of various rooms. MS enjoys randomly becoming hyperactive when Im showering, so I hear panicked stomps outside the door, changing of shoes, etc. Sometimes MS harasses me to get out as he "needs in there", when theres another bathroom he could use. If I dont get out fast enough, MS gets BM to harass me too.
MS does no house repair, so our neighbors hate us. MS and BM both obsess over an elderly female neighbor just because her voice is loud, hatewatching her constantly on the camera videos. Shes almost all BM and MS talk about, for years. They want to put cameras all over, including where the neighbors dont go, but I do. Like you, I feel like Im in a correctional prison. Saving up but cant afford to move out due to living costs.
MS expects our 70+ dad (the main blacksheep, Im the 2nd in line blacksheep) with medical issues to fix everything, constantly talks crap about Dad behind his back with BoyMom. MS laughed in Dad's face, when Dad asked him to drive him for a work related event. MS whines to mom that I dont like him, based off of a "feeling", and they like interrogating me about it once in a while.
Everytime I do anything outside my room, theres MS! Want to leave flowers at my deceased pets grave? Oh, MS is sleeping this one time, luckily, but now he acts hurt that I wanted that private moment without him there, and tells mommy on me! Making breakfast? MS is right there, ready to reach very close to my boob at random pretending to grab an item really close instead of waiting. Or hell say something to get under my skin and rub it in that his pet is alive and mine isnt. Or just stand there, watching me like Im prey.
This moid sibling even went to my room, and DEMANDED with an angry look on his face, that I log in and look something up, because his precious truck was affected by something. I finally told him no for the first time. Hes been oddly avoidant and quiet for a couple days now, as if I should apologize. I dont trust him.
Just now, I thought they were both finally sleeping and I could relax. Nope! Boy Mom starts swearing to me because I dared to use the frying pan. I offered to clean it but she doesnt trust that Ill do a good enough job, since she doesnt expect King Shithead Moid Sibling to wash any dishes or do any laundry.
No. 2192994
>>2182831Untreated anemia can cause heart damage.. You're more tired now because your body can finally make red bloodcells which takes a lot of energy. It'll even out in a few weeks. Black poop is no big deal.
t. former anemic and still iron deficient
No. 2193007
File: 1728036080777.jpg (395.13 KB, 1145x1080, 1000015042.jpg)
>be me
>try to have husbando dreams
>my brain.mp3
>"remember school and how it was the worst time of your life where ypu talked to the worst people you've ever talked to?"
>stop it, I want husbandos
>"here's a compilation of all the shit you hate on a dream, from lots of action, to having to talk to shit people and you getting raped! Sweet dreams!!"
No. 2193012
File: 1728036905724.webp (19.72 KB, 900x600, irish bbq weather.webp)
>>2193001Ntayrt but there's lots of rain and grey skies. Also getting dark at like 4PM in Winter.
No. 2193015
File: 1728037057587.jpeg (216.54 KB, 828x430, IMG_9447.jpeg)
Why do I always miss out on the things that I want
No. 2193024
File: 1728039154023.jpg (118.54 KB, 1216x548, PollockPortrait.jpg)
I cooked a load of pollock for my cats because it's their favourite food and they made so much mess eating it, I now wonder if it was worth it.
No. 2193034
File: 1728040582794.jpg (327 KB, 2048x1614, 1000017243.jpg)
I want to throw myself off of the 10th floor of a building
No. 2193066
File: 1728044959184.jpg (51.16 KB, 473x363, 1000006351.jpg)
Screaming into the void until the crush I have on this guy goes away AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
No. 2193070
File: 1728045448198.jpg (1.43 MB, 1536x2048, 1000017263.jpg)
I genuinely do not wish my life on anybody.
No. 2193158
The people who made my life a living hell all through middle school and most of high school faced zero repercussions and I wish I could get revenge. These people mocked me, made fun of my appearance constantly, told me to kill myself, posted pictures of me on their public instagrams getting their retard followers to harass me… I by no means am a weak person but it went on for years. They’d call me from a random number telling me they were going to stab me. Meanwhile, one of their boyfriends exposed himself to a room full of minors (including me) but it’s fine because he “was drunk”. Anyways, years pass and I tried to be the one to make things better. These people so happened to move to the exact same city that I did so occasionally I see them around, and I wish I could tell this stupid fat fucking pig to kill herself like she did to me so many times. I wish I could seriously drag her through the mud and whoop her ass but unfortunately, she’s a 300lb loser who could crush me by sitting on me. I try to find peace knowing I have a very good and healthy situation in life now and I’m a decently attractive normal average woman, meanwhile these people are gross sweaty acne ridden fucking retards who have no one. Lol. The best part is, they tried to ‘cancel’ me publicly a few years ago because they were accusing me of being transphobic. Literally for no reason just because they wanted to. One of them, who was an 18 year old and dated me when I was 14/15, had the balls to message me calling me an abuser or something schizo. What a fucking joke, the woman who tried to groom me calling me an abuser. Anyways, they all continue to sit around and take pictures of me or post about me when they see me out. Yet none of them have said shit to my fucking face. I saw the big bitch at the grocery store and laughed in her face because HOLY FUCK what an ugly nonbinary motherfucker. Sorry for the long long rant, I don’t have many people to talk about this to in my personal life because it makes me uncomfortable. Felt good getting that off my chest.
No. 2193179
>>2193166Basically my father had a shitty upbringing himself and has been fucked around a lot by people from friends to business partners so it was his messed up paranoid way of protecting me, that's how I see it. But he would insult my friends and their parents and straight up threaten them to keep their kids away from me when I was literally fucking four years old in preschool and trying to socialise and learn how to form proper conversations, so just insane pd-levels. My mother was trapped in that
abusive marriage and couldn't do anything.
He's also just a shitty person and I believe you attract what you are so yeah.
No. 2193188
File: 1728054593922.jpg (58.47 KB, 736x736, 1000017252.jpg)
Everyone is telling me to kill myself
No. 2193251
>>2187292the problem with men and why they get posted in that thread isnt just that theyre bald, its also because they expect women to have perfect hair, wear wigs or fix their baldness while they wouldnt. its all about how ugly bald men are okay but women arent in our backwards society. if bald men were dating other bald women and it was as ok to be bald as a woman i dont think it would be as much of an issue. therefore it doesnt apply to you as a woman because the bigger problem is the massive double standards and coddling bald moids receive
>>2193188dont kill yourself
>>2193195me too sometimes i dream about if i was a cool masculine/androgynous woman and how i would spoil cute women and treat them better than any guy. unfortunately i was born short and not androgynous in any way
No. 2193284
File: 1728058762656.png (444.98 KB, 500x1500, bdcc60aaa8bd74c13c15a14ee8554b…)
>>2193267Honestly, I think these "late bloomer" bihetties just dream about ~being loved by a woman and spoiling her like a prince~ because they are lacking genuine affection in their relationships with men. It's literally never about eating bushy pussies and sucking on titties with them, they just want to hold hands and kiss.
No. 2193328
>>2193317We forgive you,
nonnie. But if it happens again we’re going to have to take you out back and shoot you in the leg.
No. 2193340
>>2193294thank you
nonnie that makes me feel better
>>2193284i dont want to just hold hands and kiss. bushy pussies and boobs rock
No. 2193421
>>2193395>you have to be schizo or an angry millenial to think it's the same nonna typing in all lowercaseWhere did I say that kek? I said that not conforming to normal board etiquette by refusing to use proper grammar is newfaggy behavior. I never even implied all lowercase users are the same anon, but it does make someone a lot more easy to recognize if they are clearly ESL, don't capitalize their sentences, and barely use punctuation, because that's just not how most farmers talk.
>also it's the fucking vent threadAll the more reason not to make yourself more identifiable than you need to.
No. 2193459
>>2193350Oh how the times change
Up until very recently not writing in all lowercase would get you derogatively called an underage "phoneposter" here and told to gb2 wherever
No. 2193468
File: 1728067988459.jpg (48.99 KB, 800x450, latest.jpg)
STOP SMOKING YOU FUCKING RETARD AAAAAHH I'm said retard
No. 2193496
File: 1728069654792.jpg (88.47 KB, 564x557, ad4520a5368cf3a58f3f3a2f28b008…)
One of my superiors just implied that I eat a lot and I don't even think he made it with bad intentions but he did it in front of a lot of people so it actually triggered me because I'm a stupid little piece of shit. The worst part is that it was a lie (a joke?) because he implied I went to the buffet "5 times while he was there" when I was actually doing some training for the past hour and a half and he only saw me there once when I wasn't even eating, I was helping organizing.
It's very silly of me to be triggered by that, but I actually feel like such a failure because I've been struggling with weight loss. I'm joke.
No. 2193541
>>2193076my girl cats were angels too but they were insulted so many times just for being girls I guess
>>2193106same, couldnt have friends over because the house was never "ready", yet mom always had the house presentable within a day if my scumbag moid sibling wanted his moid friends over. My mom also discouraged or made me quit clubs like soccer because "that's for Italians" (my dad is Italian so Im half, but mom denies this as she cant love me if she acknowledges this, due to stupid WW2 propaganda). She has so much control over me to this day. I still never started to live my own life, partly due to my fear of being attacked by a moid again if I go out into the world on my own. I feel like a wimp.
No. 2193583
File: 1728074500653.jpg (56.41 KB, 919x720, 35g2c4.jpg)
Just saw a video of a woman who's whole family has had multiple sclerosis, a horrible degenerative chronic disease. The video was about how every single woman in her family that got MS was abandoned by their husbands. Not a single one of the men helped their wives through it. If they stayed, it was only on paper, and they would refuse to help or care for their dying wives, or would simply not be in the house to help them. She said her grandfather left her grandmother starve to death, and one uncle would go on 3 week vacations to avoid his wife.
My own ex-scrote, who claimed I was the love of his life, left me after I got a chronic illness so this kind of stuff really blackpills me. I have given up on men.
No. 2193620
>>2193583What chronic illness do you suffer from
nonnie?
No. 2193623
File: 1728077287710.jpg (4.2 KB, 227x222, 1000065400.jpg)
>>2193066joining you nona
No. 2193650
File: 1728078119245.gif (1.03 MB, 498x280, 1000011433.gif)
It's crazy how much A1C rules your personality. For years of my life I was led to belive I was a horrible, evil person that had to exhaust myself be suppressing my anger and rage and irritability and depression. For years I thought I was just a fundamentally unlovable person who had to perform and mask my evilness in order to fit on with society, then I go and actively try to lower my A1C and get it down to a much more reasonable level and now I just feel normal…. but I am having an intense guilt spiral over all the feelings I felt when my brain was frying and sizzling in my skull. I regret my actions and words. It was so exhausting being me. And now I'm so guilty over how shit of a person I was that I feel like I deserve to just die slowly like I had been. I'm not that retarded to give up caring about myself, but the guilt is immense.
No. 2193690
File: 1728079431883.jpeg (77.54 KB, 750x920, IMG_0410.jpeg)
>>2193686Ah yes, my mistake, thank you.
No. 2193751
>>2193748The most annoying part is when they argue with their usual loving and caring family over something stupid for like 5 minutes and start acting like they're stuck in an
abusive household.
No. 2193767
File: 1728083184329.jpeg (1.02 MB, 1771x2189, GZEujCNWkAAcMm1.jpeg)
Why is it that every time I embrace being evil and deranged, my mental health immediately improves, and every time I try to change and become a better person in the eyes of society, I start to hate myself and feel immense guilt over every mistake I've ever made (big or small)? Being a good person shouldn't have to be this struggle uphill. I feel like nothing I do which is "good" comes to me naturally. I do experience empathy, but usually my empathy comes out in the form of intense anger towards anyone who harms people or groups of people that I care about.
No. 2193770
>>2193700Yep, then it’s
>youre too ugly to be mean, you can’t be both!Actually I can! Not only can I be mean but I will also talk insane shit about you to other people if you step on my toes. I can even get physical as a 5’9 ogress built like a brick shithouse, and there ain’t a damn thing anyone can do to stop me.
If someone has a problem with how I look they can look away or go blind for all I care, not my problem.
Real talk though, bullies can smell insecurity and you attract mean people with people pleasing behavior or fawning. They get upset once you don’t want to be a doormat because it’s a scare tactic to put you back in line. They’re mean because you’ve demonstrated that you care and they know you’re scared of confrontation. The only cure is being a bitch and not feeling sorry for yourself.
No. 2193776
>>2193620I had chronic urethritis, clitoridynia, and vulvodynia at the same time. It felt like my vulva was sitting on acid 24/7. Currently I just have vulvodynia.
>>2193674Fucking grim. If I ever get a new moid, I'm leaving him the second he gets ill. I'm not going to be any scrote's nurse. I'm blackpilling my sister too, she has a moid with Crohn's and I'm not letting her become his little maid if he ever becomes a burden.
No. 2193782
>>2193751AYRT, oh my God yes. Like complaining that their parents want them to clean their pig sty rooms or something like that being
toxic. I overheard a girl in my university complaining about her mom "only" sending her 50 dollars a week and I was just seething because my mom sends me literal rotting garbage and things I'm allergic to on purpose. Oh and graphic voice mails wishing violence on me. But yes, only fifty dollars a week is so difficult, I cannot imagine the pain.
No. 2193799
File: 1728085284014.jpg (9.86 KB, 284x177, images.jpg)
>31 years old
>Older brother (33) has two kids
>Little sister (28) is pregnant
Where's the button that makes me want to have kids? I hate every idea of having them. I am by all metrics would be a terrible mother, I'm lazy, I'm apathetic, I'm impulsive. I can't do this but if I don't do it soon I'm won't have kids at all. Maybe I'll love them when they come out of me but I can't gamble their life on that. I'm still the same image board retard who shared shit from 4chan because she thought it was cool. Life needs to stop for a while so I can figure myself out.
No. 2193820
File: 1728086347175.jpg (40.41 KB, 640x480, 1000017259.jpg)
My life is deprived of anything. I have fallen out of the face of the earth. I have given up on my hygiene. I am consumed by mental and physical illness.
My whole life I've been made to feel like I don't have feelings, needs or desires. I am never going to have anything for myself. I am never going to be in love, have a family, financial stability.
I've had to chase people like a fucking dog my whole life. Nobody's ever stayed after my ass. Or been genuinely involved with me.
I've had to put up with other people's needs, problems, traumas. Walk on eggshells. If I say anything about my situation ppl throw pity parties for themselves.
I am seeing everyone have families, children, travel.
I am dressing with the same clothes that I did when I was 12. I'm taking my last breaths of air. Everyone is sending me off to therapy. Which is fucking impossible. People that are rich, have families, cohesive support systems are not sent to therapy like me.
No. 2193892
File: 1728090691954.jpeg (107.99 KB, 750x1000, IMG_5539.jpeg)
Just got a notice that our apartment was “randomly selected” for a balcony inspection next Tuesday to “make sure it’s safe”. I swear to god, if they tell me I’m not allowed to have my bell pepper and cherry tomato plants (that I carefully grew from seed) out there I’m gonna McFuckin lose it.
No. 2193904
File: 1728092116614.gif (3.04 MB, 498x281, IMG_2156.gif)
I think I have authority figure problems. I think I hate when people try to tell me retarded ways to do things. I need a job where I can be left to my own devices and put an earbud in and work and have little interaction. Started new job today and this manager got pissy at me for being on my phone when she wouldn’t let me do shit outside of a single task and it was fucking boring me to tears. Give me shit to do then!!! I’m not staring at this register all shift let me move!!!
No. 2193913
>>2183698well, an update a week later:
I'm doing a lot better comparatively (although still shit compared to normal people) and i even went to work normally and everything this week. I've tried to put it out of my mind as best as I can so I can function.
But, please nobody laugh, I've developed a panic response to older fat moids. Even if I just see a picture of one, my heartrate shoots up and I start feeling sick with horror again because they all remind me of her husband, which reminds me of what she is doing with him, etc. I have a similar response to mentions of pregnancy because I know that is going to happen too, and then again, the disturbing details of how that will happen… I don't know what to do. Both of those things are so common, I encounter them multiple times a day.
No. 2193921
File: 1728093030730.jpg (752.74 KB, 1992x3070, 1000017012.jpg)
GOD I HATE THIS GAY ASS MOSQUITO BZZZ bzzz. SHUT THE FUCK UP. I WANT TO SLEEP
No. 2193971
File: 1728095618418.jpeg (60.52 KB, 420x379, IMG_2715.jpeg)
the sudden but subtle urge to just mysteriously disappear and your disappearance becomes an artful mystery where people are looking for you for like 4-5 seasons and then they figure out you’re alive but then you die during the final season finale, but that will never happen because nobody cares about me and i indulge in maladaptive daydreaming that i can’t even do anymore to escape kek
No. 2194009
File: 1728097357087.png (1.77 MB, 1024x1024, blackhole.png)
I truly feel I've reached Stage 10 depression. I have 100% mentally seperated from any last interest I have ever had. I don't do a single thing for fun anymore. It's hopeless to even try to, because I still won't be interested and will toss it away. My life is just work, eat, clean/cook, sleep. Rinse repeat. The longer I live the more vexed I am that I am too cowardly to die, yet too uninterested in living.
No. 2194046
>>2194016Umm…I have no idea what the fuck you wrote or what to do with it but alright then.
>if you need toMy family needs me to live. And by family that's literally only like one parent. Not even the other one. I don't need me to live at all. I got nothing and nobody else. I just don't end it because I know the void is even bigger beyond and physical pain, especially one experienced right before death, is well…painful. I'd rather waste away from eating too much fast food or drinking too much Mountain Dew. Sounds much more enjoyable.
No. 2194052
File: 1728100126805.jpg (481.15 KB, 1536x2048, 3831684998378.JPG)
I really want a cat but I’m scared of poop
No. 2194107
File: 1728105921301.png (3.09 KB, 50x43, Screenshot 2024-10-05 002437.p…)
I hate how zoomers have made pdf stand for pedophile, now I read my pdf reader as pedofile.
No. 2194304
i decided to quit cocaine and speed cold turkey about a month ago bc i lost access mostly. and holy shit this isn’t worth it at all. i wish i never started this shit but if i did i wish i died on it. i pushed away most of my friends when i was using daily for the past year, and now i am just ignoring all texts and not talking to anyone bc i dont have the energy or personality for socialization anymore. ive gained a ton of weight in this month bc i started seeking dopamine hits from binge eating instead, and i hate how i look. i am no longer capable of holding down the attention span to partake in any of my old hobbies. i took time off but wen back this week and i am barely doing the minimum at work and i absolutely fucking dread going. and then i’m just coming home and sleeping for 12 hours, or lying in bed thinking about how much i miss speeding. my hobbies like drawing or reading books used to be effortless, and now i know id still kind of enjoy doing it if i could, but i just have noooo fucking interest in anything, and my hobbies now also feel like intense high focus mental challenges to attempt - too much effort to do, and not interested enough in anything anymore to justify even trying. i am so tired and so bored perpetually now that it just doesn’t seem worth putting in what feels like herculean effort, just to achieve a base level of satisfaction. there is just enough in my life for me to be kept in it, but so little in my life that i feel it’s not worth it to rebuild what i have lost. i know with time i can and likely will develop healthy habits, find meaningful things and hobbies i enjoy doing again, and try to re-establish social connections or make new friends somewhere. and even if i never end up happy again in my life maybe i could reach some stable consistent level of contentedness - it’d probably be like 3 years (?) which i guess is how long it can take sometimes. but that seems like so much work for so little reward. i wish id never known anything different but i dont even want to have a life anymore without this shit. but i also am not going to relapse or kms and cant bc [reasons] so i am just whining lol. does it get better nonas?
No. 2194330
File: 1728125116916.jpg (55.04 KB, 524x574, Ft411UQakAEiUO6.jpg)
I feel like I won't know true peace until every piece of shit rapist and animal torturer is thrown into a vat of acid.
I don't believe in rehabilitative justice, "prison abolition", or "humane euthanization" when it comes to the equivalent of a disease-ridden piece of dried shit calling itself "human" while defiling the name of our species in every conceivable way. Even when jailed, there's no excuse for the general population to have to pay taxes just to keep some "people" alive. I don't want to share a society with those wastes of oxygen, and I don't think the man who spent his time raping stray animals before/while/after killing them and taking creepshots of his neighbor's daughter to share with other subhumans on Telegram can ever "serve his time and learn his lesson". It's a bad product, send it back to the fucking factory.
No. 2194382
File: 1728131901208.jpg (356.47 KB, 1080x1080, tumblr_p1s9nmUa6d1wx15lmo1_128…)
My cat is so annoying, scratch scratch "Let me in, let me in, I'm dying of neglect", two minutes later "Wait no, let me out again, it's too stuffy", goes out and turns in a circle twice, "You know what, I want back in, open up, I hate it here", open the door "SIKE" and runs away just to thunder against the door again half a minute later.
No. 2194412
File: 1728134138205.jpg (604.47 KB, 640x905, 1000017266.jpg)
I wouldn't be able to prostitute myself if I tried to
No. 2194478
File: 1728139865356.jpg (104.17 KB, 720x960, 1726890993.jpg)
I feel like I'm going through that phase where my life has been too good for too long and everything has to go to shit again. I hate everything and everyone around me and just want to be left alone to my own devices to cool off. Hopefully it passes soon
No. 2194485
File: 1728140480241.jpg (40.02 KB, 500x429, 1000030229.jpg)
Out at a cafe for a nice morning so of course a pack of wild moids has shown up and are shitting up the place talking about F1 and having a pseudo dick measuring contest over watches
No. 2194643
File: 1728151711523.webp (18.67 KB, 1085x759, 1000017227.jpg)
I couldn't slide into someone's DMS
No. 2194694
>>2194692Don't panic
nonnie. Call them tomorrow and tell them you have concerns about melanoma and you noticed a random mole, also does your mole look at all similar to melanoma? I think you should compare. Don't panic yet nonna.
No. 2194702
>>2194694I'm in France there's NOTHING open on a Sunday, if I have to call a doctor's office it won't be until Monday, and it would be a miracle if I can get an appointment before 2025 despite living in a big city.
>also does your mole look at all similar to melanoma? I think you should compare. Don't panic yet nonna.That's what I'm trying to do but as I said it's hard to tell when looking it up in French because the word for "beauty mark" and "mole" are the same, "grain de beauté". From what I'm seeing right now when I type "beauty mark" in English I almost only get results about moles, the types that look like more or less irregular bumps on top of the skin, especially when articles include pictures. What I have on my foot (and also on other body parts but in these cases it's been since childhood) is one tiny little brown dot. I noticed it because I felt the need to scratch where it was. It's not obvious though so it's not a part that's exposed to sunlight.
No. 2194718
File: 1728156306538.jpg (375.42 KB, 682x1000, 1000011453.jpg)
>>2194702Here. I said not to panic because really there is no way to know if a mole is melanoma unless it starts to develop heavy signs such as picrel. You need to monitor it and if it changes color or shape or size that is a good indicator for melanoma. That's why I said to not panic because it could just be a mole, but it is always wise to make sure. Schedule an appointment if you can when you can and monitor the shit out of it.
No. 2194737
>>2194719My gp is specialized in gynecology but I'll try to get an appointment. I have Friday off next week so I'll try to get an appointment early in the morning, that's when she's available for emergencies.
>>2194718Mine looks like D in the "mole" column so far. I'll show it to my doctor and ask for her opinion. I actually always had a huge mole on my left shoulder plate and the woman who replaced my dermatologist when I went there for my dermatitis checked it with a specific lens and told me it's a regular mole, just bigger than average but that was a bit more than 2 years ago.
>>2194729Hopefully it's just some dumb shit like this, fingers crossed.
No. 2194740
>>2194736>If they make you wait until 2025, then cool, that means it's not dangerous at allNo there are not nearly as many dermatologists as necessary in France, or even doctors in general, and there are entire regions where you're likely to wait a long time to be treated even after being diagnosed with something that can kill you. I live in a big city so I was treated fast for my fibroadenoma but getting a dermatologist appointment fast is way harder than seeing a gynecologist in my city.
>Unless you let that thing grow until it spreads up from your toe to your lymph nodes, literally nothing bad will happen to you.I'll be extra careful from now on, better be too paranoid than not enough.
No. 2194800
>>2194792>>2194794Thanks nonnas, I appreciate your responses. I worry it might be an
issue because I work in a cafe/food so it might be a food safety issue even if I brought one of those little multi-use cubes or something. I also try really hard to hide that I got the double fucked autism/adhd so I fear the looks I’ll get but it’s better than getting yelled at for my phone.
No. 2194818
>>2194805I love this idea but sadly nothing on the hands/wrists can be worn for food service.
>>2194811Exactly. However, I don't bring a bag with me because I never carry much in the first place so it's always in my pocket. It's difficult for me because my cafe is slow and my tasks are limited so I'm left with nothing to do sometimes.
No. 2194833
File: 1728160666935.jpg (425.06 KB, 3000x2250, 1000069474.jpg)
>>2194818Maybe put a small bag with marbles in your pocket? Or something like pic related that you could make yourself.
No. 2194849
File: 1728161037728.gif (771.19 KB, 220x216, 1722704903923.gif)
>>2194780When I had to get my tumor removed my gp sent me to a gynecologist and that gynecologist ended up being my surgeon, I had all my appointment pretty fast but that was because of patients canceling or reporting their own appointments to later. Except for my surgery because my tumor wasn't cancerous after all so it could wait and I asked for it to happen as late as possible for others because I know it's hard to get a gynecologist. Anyway I showed my mole or beauty mark or whatever to my mom and my cousin and they laughed at me and said it's just a tiny injury but I had those before from walking a lot and they looked pink or red, not brown like this one. I hope they're right, but last time my mom told me not to panic I got surgery and got told that while I didn't have cancer I'm still very at risk for breast cancer later. Same mom who omitted information when I asked so I nearly got a heart attack after waking up because of meds she knew we can't take.
Anyway I'm going to pretend I didn't see anything until my appointment and will eat dinner. I wish I liked alcohol so I could get drunk and forget.
No. 2194966
>>2194954to add he said I ruined his vacation because I was asking for help and his friend was making a big scene wanting to fight him and claiming he was going to kill himself. It was very dramatic. A lot of tears and threaats.
What hurts me is… he was so supportive after and was asking if I was okay. The a couple days when we were home he wanted nothing to do with me.
No. 2195066
File: 1728170745102.jpg (172.84 KB, 366x360, 1000017081.jpg)
I've fallen off the face of the earth
No. 2195104
kill all men
No. 2195144
>>2195022UPDATE!!!!!!!!
HES GETTING CHARGED AND THERES A COURT DATE! FUCK YEA. Even if I dont win the case, it is on his permanent record, so the next time a woman comes forward he is automatically charged!!!!
Now i am going to take a hot bath and recenter my self. All I could think about was how many women didnt or couldnt speak up before, and I thought about all the women who could be the next
victim.
No. 2195153
File: 1728175503567.jpg (56.84 KB, 735x775, bb819fb0e5fc5d9cc103babfef8f7d…)
Another day of jerking it to my extremely fucked up fetish because apparently nothing else can get me off. I even tried to imagine a normal sex scene and my brain still defaulted to the fetish in the end. Fuck my stupid autistic baka life, I didn't choose to be this way.