File: 1714076388964.jpg (338.53 KB, 1536x2048, vent.JPG)
No. 1980093
Don't reply to bait
prev
>>>/ot/1969086 No. 1980134
File: 1714077559835.gif (325.24 KB, 220x125, IMG_0165.gif)
>being on the internet feels like you’re talking to yourself
>talking to people in real life feels like you’re still talking to yourself
why bother? this is why I was destined to become a NEET and stay locked inside of my house. being outside and befriending people is my bad luck, it’s even worse when you do mundane stuff like going grocery shopping and other errands and for some reason other npcs always have some sort of issue with me and i don’t do anything but exist. maybe that’s my problem, that i exist
No. 1980148
File: 1714077999953.webp (7.65 KB, 420x420, IMG_2178.webp)
>>1980134Hi, Anon. Can I offer you a $5.00 jug of milk from LolcowMart?
>”Yes, please.”>”No, thanks.”>steal jug of milk >kill grocery store clerk No. 1980150
>>1980147also they hired me later in the evening on the 20th and I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt rn and assuming they were busy with sunday brunch the next day. the manager seemed pretty happy with my performance as
I had to do a stage for a couple hours too. I'm just praying they don't care and I'm looking into it too much
No. 1980164
File: 1714078583840.jpg (22.87 KB, 735x438, 1000018345.jpg)
I fucking hate not being a functional adult under stress, I've been eating chocolate all day long because the deadline is close and I honestly feel like I've only been wasting my time on useless things instead of doing what I must do.
I want to kill myself.
And now my mom is telling me that the job I'm going to start now may be kind of trash.
I don't know what to do, I just keep seeing in my future being a miserable teacher that has the most pathetic job in the world and that has to live with her parents forever.
No. 1980187
>>1980184That's the thing that confuses me, I never posted anything but memes and my face. I never interacted with anyone, I followed lots of people, but the only people I regularly dmed were women who I was mutuals with. I never shared anything extremely personal because it was just an account where I posted dumb memes, it wasn't even offensive ones, which is why I was so confused. Some of my friends told me that these same men did it to them as well. It was just so bizarre, because I spoke with one of them once for 2 minutes with very short one worded replies before I blocked them. It's like they wanted a reaction out of me, because I never gave it, but they went as far as photoshopping me on gore, and I just found out today it was a photo of me as a child. I just do not like being accused that I did similar things, when I pointed out that this has happening to many girls/women just to get attention.
No. 1980198
File: 1714080332682.jpg (32.19 KB, 736x736, 671dd61bd2e99f71b7b95cdc42f8d3…)
made myself sad by looking at j-fashion knowing that I will be too tall/old to ever to wear it.
No. 1980348
File: 1714091962741.jpg (4.86 KB, 201x251, 13946026375.jpg)
How can I move on completely from this ex/frienship? Sometimes I wish she'd die a miserable death, other times I don't feel like that. Maybe it's also a shame inside of me, hating myself for even friending such a retard in the first place honestly. I can't indulge in some things I loved because it used to be something we liked to discuss and do together. I hate her. I want to forget about her existence just like how she threw many others away the same way. I don't want to think about her even if it is boiling resentment. I guess that's why she always hop around different friends because she throws them away once they are not of "use". If by any chance this person still uses this site, fuck you dumb shit retard lmao.
No. 1980354
>>1980348I have two stupidly apparent answers. One, no contact, as hard as it may be. Two, time. Sorry for being so completely retardedly obvious. It will get better, I promise.
Secret third option: tell me what she did. I'm drunk, total stranger, and I want to know.
No. 1980388
File: 1714095965159.jpg (10.04 KB, 225x225, 1543284095800.jpg)
>>1980345FUCK i can't even play my rhythm game with tyhese things, thats it im getting rid of them
No. 1980416
File: 1714100286330.webp (72.35 KB, 660x456, 59b21ca8701bc060025464f47901a5…)
I don't value human connections anymore. I feel no urge to pursue them anymore. People have again and again and again and again disappointed me deeply, surprised me with their callousness, with how many faces they rotate through, what little convictions they hold, how little they care about others. I don't have some sort of extreme social ineptitude, coworkers and acquaintances like me. I've had friends before and could make some again. But they've all fallen away over time and I have no inclination to seek any of it out anew.
My family always said that I've seemed like an old woman since I was a toddler, and I have to say I feel like it inside, too. I feel like I've seen what people are like, how they operate, how the world works, and I don't want to be part of any of it anymore. Like the old women who sit and wait to die, saying they've "seen enough" and are ready to leave it all behind. I've seen enough. I feel like I see through everything. And there's nothing there at all.
No. 1980470
File: 1714108134148.jpg (95 KB, 680x680, 7c5.jpg)
I've had it with weebs
>Conversation with classmates
>Offhandedly mention there's not a lot of bar soap options where I live, people use liquid hand wash and shower gel more
>Say in my home country bar soap is everywhere so I was surprised
>One girl replies: idk I think bar soap is dirty personally and people in [my home country] probably use it because it's cheap and you're poor haha
>Okay?
>I mention how people used it a lot in Japan too when I lived there
>Also it's literally soap
>Ummm well ammm then I don't know bar soap is more eco friendly haha
Same person also admitted she has never exfoliated in her life so I'm not too upset about her opinion but how can you allow yourself to say these things unchecked and then do a full 180 when Japan is mentioned?
No. 1980497
File: 1714110124450.jpg (179.01 KB, 1500x2221, GettyImages-74257306-f3f1d4636…)
You will all think I'm retarded as hell, but I met my husband online and thought he was a regular guy. Turns out he was a tranny, and I've been lying to myself for years. I fucking fell in love with this bastard, he was my best friend for 10 fucking years. I kept telling myself I'm okay with not having cock. Turns out, I'm not okay. I've finally told him I'm gonna need an open relationship so I can fuck actual men and he's not okay with it. I kind of love him at this point girls but I'm willing to throw my life away for a regular guy. My friends have told me I'm not evil for this and I'm finally believing it. Anyway, you're all gonna tell me I'm a stupid ass for living like this for so long but it's easy to fall into this shit and stay comfy. Never settle girlies, I fucked up
No. 1980512
>>1980497My condolences to you
nonny, you deserve better and I hope you get out
No. 1980516
>>1980465those vitamins are chopped up with oils and gums to hinder your health so that you'll buy more supplements,
nonnie . it sucks doesnt it
No. 1980543
File: 1714115664168.jpg (38.59 KB, 250x340, 1634475902929.jpg)
Realised at least half of my stupid fucking mental issues are a result of visual snow. I know I have it and I know it can cause psychological issues but I've just connected the dots but now what the fuck do I do? What can I do about a barely researched conidition that has no long term cure and doesn't go away on its own and could be the beginning of a degenerate brain disease.
I didn't think it was a big deal because I consider my case pretty mild when I compare to people in my family but I guess fucking not. What the fuck do I do?
No. 1980545
File: 1714115837138.jpg (30.23 KB, 375x450, 66c431f23d8048167d16898607fb20…)
i don't know if it's just me being an uptight retard or if the interwebs changed the worst but modern day web lacks diversity when it comes to people and personalities. i mean i know billions of people are going to be so similar despite their personal differences but i remember people being generally interesting and less superficial or fake. now? everybody i interact with on public platforms feels the exact same and they're all so bland. maybe little old me just need to get off of the internet… i don't know
No. 1980756
File: 1714138392545.jpg (201.91 KB, 824x821, relatable blob.jpg)
I am tired of being so useless. All i want is to be good at something to feel whole. I hate how everyone around me has something, while i am mediocre at best at everything. I wish i could be good at art, or funny, or pretty. Just one thing is all i need. If i were good at something then i probably wouldn't feel so depressed all the time. It's so hard to work on improving when it feels like i am never going to be good enough. Godammit i just want something to live for.
No. 1980820
>>1980811I’m sorry
nonnie, friend breakups can be almost or even worse than romantic breakups and it’s mostly because no one really acknowledges them. But if you’ve found a connection like that before, you can do it again. If you don’t mind me asking, why don’t you reach out to her first if it’s still bothering you 2 years later?
No. 1980824
File: 1714143065172.jpg (20.64 KB, 327x373, 6d7538c916ea1020a78213a6ffc657…)
My dad is like a little kid in an old man's body. He isn't mentally retarded, just has no empathy and only thinks about himself, me me me like a toddler. It's unnerving. I'm learning to deal with it but if I talk to him and tell him of something really bad that happened to me he will start talking about something good that happened to him instead, like he is bragging. Crazy bastard.
No. 1980849
>>1980830Sweet nonna, I am so sorry. In 2020 I had a period for over 100 days straight. Docs dismissed it for stress until I found a medical case worker through insurance. Then, suddenly, I got hormone testing, pap smears, and a biopsy. Nothing was conclusive but getting the mirena IUD regulated it.
Please take your vitamins, rest, and try raspberry leaf tea. I hope it stops soon.
No. 1980859
>>1980849This is best and only advice anyone has cared to give me. Thank you so much for taking even a fraction of your time out to say these things.
I will do just that. I wish I could hug you right now.
No. 1980862
>>1980831No, worse.
>>1980860I'm sorry that you can relate. Hope he is not as bad as mine.
It's the total lack of interest in how I'm feeling or how his words affect me that gets me. He used to rage at me and shake me as a kid if I was sad and crying. He makes me furious.
No. 1980869
>>1980820I deleted her number and she blocked me on instagram so not much I can do, the only account of hers I have is her abandoned art account where she posted a watercolour painting of me (if lc allowed emojis I would put a crying one here) I know she didnt forget about me because I helped her with her current art school paperwork and my mom drove us to deliver the documents kek, I would just like to know if she thinks about me the same way I think about her
>>1980822dont cry sweet
nonnie, here is a kiss: mwah
No. 1980927
File: 1714147830952.jpg (59.41 KB, 564x752, 90963bf3c819e9bd0c6df3f0237b17…)
>>1980897Fuck they sound really similar. Sending you a hug nona because having a "parent" like that fucking sucks ass. Being resentful and angry is natural when they can't provide the basics of polite human behaviour.
No. 1981053
>>1981043Maybe you're always in situations where people already know other people? People tend to stick to their cliques in class, people tend to avoid sitting next to others on public transport.
>>1981047Yeah that's possible too. I've been told once or twice that I looked like an "Ice Queen" and that they thought I wasn't that nice before before they got to know me lmao.
No. 1981082
File: 1714153448725.jpeg (80.17 KB, 624x624, IMG_8457.jpeg)
My ex-moid posted my nudes, email, and phone number online and somehow they ended up on an "Escort review forum" (I don't know if he posted them there or if someone else found them and posted but I'm pretty sure it's him)
My life is literally ruined now. Every day I get calls and emails from moids asking to buy sex. I changed my number and somehow they found me again. I've lost friends because they think I'm/was an escort and they don't believe me when they say I'm not. I had to close my Facebook and Instagram because of people from the forum finding them, or linking the photos and saying "this you"?
It's only a matter of time before I lose my job, it's not a particularly fancy one but it is a public facing one (minor figure on a local news channel). I've been on vacation for the past 2 weeks but I fear that once I return I'm going to be fired.
What even can I do except change my name, get plastic surgery, and move out of the country. I genuinely want to die, I can't even sleep. I've been crying every second of the day. Maybe I should kill myself.
I already tried filling a removal request but they don't do removals unless the subject of the picture is verified underage with proof of ID. I'm almost 30 so that won't work. I tried DMCA and government takedown requests too but the site is hosted in another country. Also I can't know who did it because thread OPs are kept anonymous and the site admin doesn't answer emails unless it's again, about an underage subject.
What am I supposed to do now. My whole life is over. I asked for advice on Reddit but they're all giving me that "own your sexuality!!" bs answers. One scrote commenter even said that "I have a head start and should become an escort to reclaim myself" no. I think I'll hang myself instead, if I don't physically die of shame. It's only been 2 weeks and I've already died inside and lost my will to live completely.
(No need to reply to my rambling I just have nobody to talk to irl or online so I'm screaming into the void)
No. 1981085
File: 1714153628884.jpeg (Spoiler Image,65.82 KB, 657x558, F7C8766D-D172-4F57-B766-D82674…)
I’m very close to resetting my whole phone! Because I’m a little shit who screenshots almost everything (dumb stuff like memes other than that’s selfies and photos of friends and family.)
And buying iCloud won’t do anything's as I still can’t download any apps no matter how much extra cloud I have. Rn I’m backing up with a external hard drive but I’m frustrated at the moment. (It is gonna work out, just need to be more patient.)
And I am definitely getting a Samsung galaxy z flipphone, it is cute as heck. I missed having a Samsung and apple is being a big ass greedy fuck making customers pay extra for useless stuff, because they only have thunderbolt ports.
Steve Jobs is forever rolling in his grave.
So fuck apple, Samsung is superior
No. 1981091
>>1981085iphones are fucking dumb and every screenshot takes up like 2-3MB for some reason (i theorize its left like that on purpose to make people buy more icloud storage), but if you have a screenshots folder anyway then delete all the trash thats in there and save your memes directly instead of screenshotting them nona
I think they're going to standardize the usb ports across all phones anyway (might only be EU idk) but yeah
No. 1981116
>>1981091Your theory might likely be right nona. Yeah I’ll do that from now on and also resist the urge to screenshot, because most are just lying around.
Oh I didn’t know that, because I live in the EU.
No. 1981140
>>1981082Nona please go to the police, or get a lawyer or some kind of legal advice from someone who is specialized in revenge porn (for free or a reasonable price.)
Send that gross website a DMCA take down notice or keep pushing them to take it down so it’s not up anymore.
I wish this kind of thing were illegal so moids would think twice before ruining a woman’s life.
Maybe take the karma routine and ruin his life too but right now you need to take care of yourself.
Get enough sleep, talk with your family and friends how life is going, drink and eat well.
Please don’t kill yourself over some pathetic moid who should’ve been ab*rted.
You’ll get though this!
And maybe talk with your boss/company about the situation if you can or want to.
I don’t know how things go in your country but I hope this helps.
I’m not religious but I’m praying for you nona, it’s going to be alright. His karma will come one way or another.
No. 1981147
>>19810821. Take a deep breath and try to stay calm.
2. If you haven’t filed a police report already, please do. Get a friend or family member to go with you for support if possible. Bring screenshots and any evidence to support your theory that it’s your ex. The pictures online might be out of your hands, but you can at least do your best to nail your ex’s nuts to the wall for doing this.
3. Your life isn’t ruined. It’s going to be a difficult road to recovering from this, but it is possible. Maybe get ahead of things at work and have a conversation with one of your supervisors about this, before some scrote tries to call one of your employers. Explain the situation with your ex. It’s very possible they won’t give a shit as long as you’re good at your job.
I am so sorry this happened to you,
nonnie. Good luck and take care of yourself.
No. 1981212
File: 1714159058785.jpeg (95.74 KB, 736x705, IMG_0164.jpeg)
>piracy website keeps buffering on the show I want to watch every five seconds
sigh, what is the cure for this shit seriously
No. 1981217
>>1981212My guess is they don’t have enough servers or bandwidth. Try the other servers if those options are available or download episodes? (If you want to) or clear your cache.
Hope you find a solution or can find better pirated websites because I barely have this problem with websites like putlocker, 123movies and fake/alt soap2day. (Rip the real soap2day)
No. 1981226
File: 1714160093422.jpg (120.4 KB, 800x540, 1671134240380.jpg)
I saw a gif of someone pooping on the front page and needed to push it off with something else. Fuck moids and their spam.
No. 1981236
File: 1714160351987.jpeg (67.89 KB, 456x451, IMG_0192.jpeg)
>>1981217kek I watched the first season on one of the soap2day sites and then the other seasons were giving me a 404 error so I switched to hurawatchz. it’s pretty decent video quality except it keeps reloading and buffering so I’m definitely gonna try the options you mentioned. richfags are never getting my money
>>1981224she’s so pretty and I look like her (a princess with nappy hair) so no,
nonny No. 1981260
File: 1714161327939.jpg (495.26 KB, 1080x1080, 1000020321.jpg)
I want to throw up, I was going to participate at some contest, but when I went to set up my PC, my phone sent my AI prompts that I had saved in my clipboard, I Hate android for having this feature, I don't want to remember the shit I copy and paste.
The worst part is that then I proceeded to have the worst score because I thought it was going to be a grammar contest and not a cultural thing.
No. 1981475
>>1981472im sorry
nonny i hope you can sleep
No. 1981484
>>1981406I'm also having period related struggles. I'm pretty sure I'm pmsing because I can't sleep at all and insomnia is one of my classic pms symptoms. The second symptom is nightmares if I do fall asleep. It's so fucking annoying! Can't sleep and when I finally do I get traumatized from whatever shit my brain made up this time.
But it's also wild that nightmares are so directly affected by my hormones. It makes me wonder if that's always been a thing, do people with more frequent nightmares have certain hormone levels? Could you force someone to have nightmares by injecting them with hormones? It's so clearly related to my pms that it can't be just me. I never have nightmares/dreams, then for 2-3 nights I cannot sleep or even nap without having really awful nightmares. Then they're gone again until next time I pms.
Like if it was caused by stress/anxiety/pain it would happen during other times too, but it doesn't.
No. 1981594
File: 1714184358948.png (107.67 KB, 275x210, 40555D2B-5A66-4C4C-805A-02FDE1…)
Jesus Christ I hate moids. My ex kept negging me telling me I was the exact opposite of his usual type, breaks up with me because he had ‘too much anxiety for a real relationship’, and is now dating a girl who looks almost exactly like me except ugly. I don’t understand moid logic at all.
No. 1981600
>>1981260What was the contest and the prompts? Also hating a computer for having a clipboard is lowkey hilarious
nonnie I won't lie
No. 1981609
>>1981082I'm so sorry anon that's horrible. I second going to the police and also getting support from someone you trust. Also maybe you could call the phone company to find out if someone requested your information because otherwise I'm not sure how they found your changed phone number. You could try going to one of those Have We Dated The Same Guy groups for your country/province/region and see if another girl's spoken up about him to strengthen your case. Or if you're feeling up to it making your own post to warn others or find other
victims. I am so sorry this awful bastard has done this to you. Sending you love. You will get through this.
No. 1981623
>>1981600The prompts were basically following the prompts that a nonna posted because I wanted to make silly shoujo magazine pictures, it described a unicorn too, I'm so autistic.
The contest was the french alliance contest, the entry was free so I thought "what the fuck why not?" And since it was divided by levels I thought it was going to be like a Delf test, but it was like, french history and culture, so I only got to answer some stuff right but the rest was horribly wrong and I want to die because I'm such a failure.
No. 1981700
>>1981484Perhaps look into Silexan/Calm-Aid. It's standardized lavender oil capsules for anxiety. They actually have evidence of working and in my anecdotal experience they really do work without any of the side effects of addiction risks of traditional anti-anxiety medications. Maybe it would be a good idea to try one before you go to bed?
>>1981168I felt sick having an office job, humans are meant to move.
No. 1981716
File: 1714201283638.jpeg (944.67 KB, 2560x1440, monke sad.jpeg)
I hate having a speech impediment. I recently started a Youtube channel, and while i have gotten really nice, sweet comments, I feel like no matter how much effort i put into editing and researching, everyone is going to click off after they hear a mushmouth retard. I never expected to become a big youtuber, but it honestly sucks that no matter how much effort i put into it, it will never truly ''pay off''. People are going to watch me out of pity at best, and never truly become interested in what i have to say. I am so useless, sometimes i think the bullying i received in hs should have been enough indicator to know that i should kms because i will never truly fit in.
No. 1981724
File: 1714201807124.jpg (32.73 KB, 430x800, every-day-i-wake-up-meme-templ…)
I really don't want to think of my country's people as room temp IQ savages but it's so difficult sometimes. I'm from a shithole that gets ridiculed enough online, but have to seriously restrain myself a lot of times when I'm interacting with others.
It's incredible that we've produced some truly brilliant minds who go abroad to achieve great things and my friends somehow turned out well, yet I have to deal with mentally behind cavepeople every day. Men especially are prone to retardation and you can't escape it
>social media is full of "memes" that are just gross text messages about dick balls and pussy with those thirdie wechat cry laugh emojis pasted on top
>the way men interact with women online is India-tier, gross comments on Instagram or DMs except they don't even call you ma'am they just ask questions like "are you wet now"
>boomers do this too, except on Facebook and they're also active tinfoilers or voluntary Putinbots
>my grandmother blogs about me and my brothers and then ten minutes later posts CIA Ukraine Palestine Iran tinfoil despite us telling her not to, so now potential employers can link it to us yay
>you can't have a normal conversation with anyone without them bursting into flames about something political or a perceived personal slight against them
>the government is conservative, corrupt and criminal, and full of illiterate monkeys just like I described
>absolutely all of them use muh religion to absolve themselves of guilt and excuse their shitty takes yet are the most morally bankrupt people you'll ever meet
>somehow everyone thinks fucking over other people is their right and they deserved it because they were stupid enough to fall for it
>my older brother is turning into one of them, everyone thinks a 30-something dating a 19 year old girl is nbd and "actually she's the one taking advantage of him for his money"
>as she should, he's an angry manchild who yells at my disabled dad and deserves to die alone
I want outtttt
No. 1981738
File: 1714204632376.jpeg (42.05 KB, 438x700, images - 2024-04-27T175701.052…)
>>1981734It was a kid who shoved past me hard enough to make me stumble backwards and the parents just looked at me and said nothing, and the second I was going through those metal revolving doors and the guy was looking at me and reached out to stop it on his side which in turn made my side swing back and hit my stomach. I just grabbed my stomach and did the WTF hand jesfure and he just stared through me???
No. 1981788
File: 1714212985178.jpeg (227.26 KB, 607x610, IMG_4625.jpeg)
I know a hug would fix me.
No. 1981796
File: 1714214141156.png (634.06 KB, 500x527, IMG_4957.png)
>>1981795That’s really sweet nona, thank you.
No. 1981801
>>1981798Absolute mood, same
nonny. Want to ghost my life and everyone in it.
No. 1981893
>>1981887I feel you
nonny. Can you not find space away from people to cry or you just physically can’t?
No. 1981895
File: 1714225167832.png (338.79 KB, 535x659, IMG_7527.png)
seriously have the ugliest smile known to man. if only my teeth were the problem because i've had braces, it's the way my muscles move when i produce a smile or whenever i laugh it never fails to disgust me. i just look so damn ugly kek good thing i've been depressed for like a decade now yet it's still not enough to beat it out of me. kinda sucks that i like to laugh and i'm so easily exitable but it's a hideous sight. just want to die and spare people kek there's just no saving it. i wish i could get punched hard enough to require like a facial reconstruction surgery on my mouth or something it's so unnatural cause autism and stilted and ugly i hate it. i used to spend time in the bathroom before my double digits practicing natural non ugly smiles (and other facial expressions) and i'm still doing it. luckily it's not to the worst thing about me overall but i don't know of that makes it any better. i've just got such an unsightly mug and i'm really ashamed of it but what can you do
No. 1981925
File: 1714226832260.jpg (15.13 KB, 236x296, 1704661207571014.jpg)
Is there something wrong with me? I like asking people hypothetical questions in order to check their moral code and it feels like it ruins dating for me. The guy I'm dating is nice and all and yesterday we started talking about some random youtubers in our country and I mentioned I don't care for one of them because that guy was an abuser. And he asked me what I meant. I said "he hurt women". And he replied with "what does it mean he hurt women?" so I (already rolling my eyes in my head) said that he was mentally and physically abusive and controlling his gf's food and not allowing her to eat certain food because he preferred her anorexic skinny, and also he was almost 30 when she was underage. I then said that it's good to ostracize such men and that it was a good thing that this youtuber was banned from public space. Then I started asking him what he would do if he found out his male friend did something really wrong, like severly and regularly beat his wife and children. He first said it depends whether it was a good friend of his or just a colleague. If it was a colleague he would just call the police and if it was a good friend of his he would try to first help him and get him to therapy and he said that nobody ever asks men (who beat their wife and children, mind you) how they feel and if they need any help and everyone only judges them, and he said that judging won't fix the situation. That already was an instant turn off for me. He only then said that he would probably try to get his wife and kids away from him "if" necessary. I told him that therapy rarely helps abusive men and they actually use therapy to better manipulate their victims and even make a victim out of themselves, and he only replied with "that's a problem for the therapist". I told him that I don't understand this because my moral judgement is the same regardless of me liking the person or not and I would never try to "help" the abuser. He asked me if I had a really good friend in my life, one that I knew for at least 10 years. I said "No, not right now", and he said that that's probably why I couldn't understand what he said. And the mood for the evening was permanently ruined. It looked like I hurt him with this discussion kek. I think I'm too autistic for this
No. 1981933
i just got back yesterday to my apartment in paris. i haven’t been since my mom died and it was really emotional because it was my first real place and she had helped me pick it. just seeing it practically empty after i had left really hit home how much my life changed after her death. i had left a few things behind like my perfume and some clothes, so i came back to sort through everything and take what’s most valuable back home over the summer. i am still unsure if i want to continue living here over the fall…it is an ok apartment, but i know for the price i might be able to find better. and being here i just feel this immense sadness at the reality that my mom will not be apart of my journey in paris anymore. i woke up in the middle of night and started crying. she should be here with me, helping me to pack for the summer. we should still be texting on the phone and i should be excited for the upcoming semester and graduating, getting ready to apply for grad school. my body also crashed after i had dinner friday night, so i have been sleeping for about 15 hours, even more. i just woke up to brush my teeth and it is 4 in the afternoon now.
it sucks so much because no one loves me like my mom did. some of my family are not supportive of me living in paris (they never were) and are using my mom’s death to try to bully me into dropping out of university and go back to our little hillbilly town. thankfully she left me with a large inheritance, it’s just taking a while to get to it and again, some of my family are trying to take the money she gave to me for themselves. so i have been hiding a lot of the paperwork for her accounts of anything more than $1k, because i already have a target on my back with my inheritance so do not need anymore trouble. however, there are bright spots in the midst of it all, and i still feel my mother’s presence in my life. i can hear her calling my name when i am sad or doing something i know she would be proud of. i just will always wish she was still here with me physically, not just in spirit.
No. 1981942
File: 1714227999500.jpg (39.96 KB, 1199x712, 437187411_752571553679956_1153…)
just lost my job bc i got the flu 3 times during flu season and got a respiratory infection bc of the last flu. absent 4 times in 8 months and i just got fired for it. gna smoke my weed and listen to country music til i fall asleep. rly just so heartbroken i loved my job so much.
No. 1981975
>>1981925There is nothing wrong you, you are just autistic af.
Protip: most men will side with other men over women, so expecting that guy to side with his friend's wife and kids over him was a waste of time.
>I told him that I don't understand this because my moral judgement is the same regardless of me liking the person or not and I would never try to "help" the abuser.Also, most people, most of time, will cut people they like slack over moral issues that they wouldn't cut for strangers. The world would be a better place if humans didn't do that, but it seems like a built feature of regular brains. And is it really true for you. Would you really have the same reaction if a friend stole twenty bucks of your counter vs a stranger who happened to be in apt and stole the money?
No. 1982013
>>1981767Good to know, thanks
Did these go away?
No. 1982029
File: 1714234765677.jpg (73.36 KB, 564x446, 93ab89ae7617cf20caaa17a07caa81…)
I'm trying to apply for a job after over a year of unemployment. I'm ready for everything but the prospect of rewriting my cv is the biggest obstacle and it is scaring me shitless for some reason. Maybe I'm not that interesting so I have nothing to write in my CV…any nonnas share the same sentiment?
No. 1982030
>>1981964I used to get so annoyed with my parents when they’d ask me to “help” with using a new appliance or electronic they bought (And I’m not talking computers, just smaller things like a microwave/kitchen appliance or a new remote or something) because “You’re the tech genius when it comes to this stuff!”
And then the issue would be some super small, simple thing because ALL I DID WAS READ THE MANUAL. They never read the instructions or manuals for anything!
No. 1982032
File: 1714234878733.jpg (19.2 KB, 564x564, f7ae8724d68a439d3bf644a21bc36a…)
I think my sister is trying to copy me. I don't know why, but she keeps artificially giving herself my traits. For years she's teased me for being an autist and a weeb but NOW she's self-diagnosed herself with autism and claiming she always liked anime.
The self-dx autism shit really pissed me off since my mom went through hell getting me diagnosed when I was 3, if my sister was autistic my mom would have noticed.
The thing that bothered me the most was when she got a haircut that looks exactly like mine and sent a picture to my mom saying, "I got (my name)'s haircut!!" Like what the fuck? Am I crazy or self-centered?
No. 1982037
>>1981999I'll spell it out. You should feel disrespected because you are being disrespected. He should have told you at the beginning of your relationship. There are one of two things going on, or maybe both:
1. He is still in love with her and would take her back in a second if she asked. He settled for you.
2. They are still having sex and he is cheating on you with her.
This relationship will not end well for you.
No. 1982065
Saturday morning at my bf’s and already off to a really bad start. His parents showed up unannounced, yet again, and I’m still in my pjs and need to shower or at least brush my hair so I’m hiding in the bedroom from his incredibly judgmental mom. But I’m laying here just thinking about how the kitchen is a little dirty from last night and how she’s probably going to say something about it to him.
I hate this. I used to spend my Saturday mornings walking over to my mom’s house, we’d have our morning coffee together, keep a cooking show on as background noise, and just talk and laugh most of the morning. But I can’t do that anymore, my Saturdays are just spent still feeling like a guest in my boyfriend’s house. Avoiding his parents, with his furniture, his dog, his clutter, his routine, his everything.
I’ve spent so much money recently trying to decorate how I want, bringing in little pieces here and there trying to make his house feel like my home too. And it doesn’t. I love my boyfriend so much but god do I miss my mom, my city, my home, my pets, my routine.
I don’t know when she’s planning leaving but I really don’t want to deal with her today. I will stay cooped up in this bedroom all day if I have to.
No. 1982081
>>1982065does he take your side against his parents? if not dump him asap. it's only going to get worse
honestly you're probably better off moving back either way. uprooting your life for a scrote rarely pays off
No. 1982205
>>1981964My boomer mother wanted to call the mechanic to REFILL HER WIPER FLUID on a 2014 impala
I talked her into letting me do it but Jesus, was embarrassing to witness such learned helplessness from a woman who knows how to make preserved foods and tailor clothing
No. 1982300
File: 1714246032089.jpg (84.52 KB, 800x792, glasses.jpg)
i hate how everyone talks the same. zoomers all say the same shit. ‘let them cook,’ ‘mogged,’ ‘oh she ate and left no crumbs.’ my younger coworkers bewilder the hell out of me. i feel like such a pretentious snob. one coworker when i first met her called herself a yapper and i thought ‘oh, that’s a unique way to describe yourself, that’s really cute!’ but then i found out it’s just become tiktok lingo and it made me sad. nobody seems to have their own voice anymore. obviously this has always been a thing but it’s bugging me more and more lately.
so much stuff about life and society has been bumming me out. sometimes i wish i were friendlier and outgoing. actually, moreso, i just want a group of friends that match my vibe and i don’t know where to begin. i tried bumblebff when i was in a relationship and not much luck. and now that i’m attempting dating apps it’s even worse. why do you have no bio? am i supposed to be interested just based on your face? you could be the most beautiful woman in the world and i’d still want to know if we had the smallest thing in common. and i hate judging people but if the most you can say about yourself is that you like bottomless mimosa sundays… i don’t know. i want to, idk, start a bookclub for old occultist books. or a meetup group for conspiracy theory discussion but that’d probably just end up full of retards.
it doesn't help i live in a city full of insufferable transplants who came here for cushy jobs (pushing us locals out) and the worst kind of idpol woke people. so far the place i work at has had 1 tranny and 4 enbies. but it's not like moving somewhere less progressive would be any better. why do my choices have to be Fern the genderspecial enbie handmaiden who you have to walk on eggshells around lest you step out of line by doing some shit like saying homeless instead of unhoused, or Hunter the redneck who is pro-life and thinks the 19th amendment should be repealed?
this vent is all over the place. no regrets
No. 1982353
File: 1714248144421.jpg (132.99 KB, 585x660, Sweating_Rilakkuma.jpg)
Nonnies I'm so fucking scared. Tomorrow I'll have my first date in like 8 years. We are going out to a restaurant. I already made a list of questions that I can ask him that seem casual enough but I am a complete autist and I'm fucking scared that I'm going to blow it because I have a crush on this dude. What if I don't know what to say or say something really dumb. I have this habit of making stupid jokes that no one laughs about except myself. What if I hate all of the vegetables at this restaurant. What if he asks me about my opinion about some current political events like idc about that shit. Should I just pull a strategic uno reverse and ask for his opinion and then just agree? What if he asks me job interview questions like what do you like the most about your job or what if I forget to smile or make facial expressions according to the stuff I'm saying and what if he thinks I'm uggo and just leaves idk man I'm scared like I'm gonna pee my pants for real
No. 1982365
File: 1714248769136.jpeg (91.4 KB, 736x731, IMG_0210.jpeg)
>suspiciously can’t talk shit about male faggots that like getting drilled in their doodoo holes without getting banned
do the tranny jannies have something they want to admit to us?
No. 1982394
File: 1714250011882.jpg (28.33 KB, 385x390, 1709485511528043.jpg)
>>1982385The waitress gave him a stank face and he was like, I think she was judging me for the milk… took everything in me not to bust out laughing
No. 1982431
File: 1714251215826.png (110.48 KB, 503x479, 144905.png)
>lose weight
>none of my clothes fit anymore
>look like shit because of it
>too poor to buy new ones
>country I live in doesn't have a good market for second hand clothes that aren't cheap or ugly garbage
what the fuck was even the point of doing this
No. 1982648
I'm still in love with someone. They got me pregnant, but we didn't know it was an ectopic pregnancy (tests were positive until about a month, he celebrated with his brother after they were negative) so I was emotional, going through a lot of pain yet still feeling off. I finally went in because of high blood pressure, it felt like a hot knife was raking against my ovary all the time, was tired yet couldn't sleep and sweating too much or being too cold. During that process they said they "didn't have time to deal" with me or the outbursts. I dealt with the process of going to the doctor, paying for everything alone and the fact they couldn't be there for me hurts. I almost had to have surgery but it finally passed naturally. My hormones are fucked up. I finally cut him off after explaining the awful situation, getting screenings/ultrasounds for a while, etc. and knew that there was no point bothering anymore. I don't know if the "pregnancy" made these feelings more intense, because he was so kind and loving beforehand, whatever it is. I just want it to stop. Keep wondering if I was wrong to end the relationship, yet having to do that alone might be a precursor to something worse. I hate missing the "what could have been" scenarios in my head. It was an accident but I don't know. My body and mind are damaged while he gets to be free and not give a damn.
No. 1982662
>>1982413If you still have babies, stay for them please. They will miss you so much. Maybe if you can visit a shelter, find someone who will love you back so that way you don't feel lost – you deserve that. I want you to be happy and finding it is better than totally giving up.
Change environments, get therapy or meds if needed. Being borderline homeless and staying with others can weirdly help at times.
Is there a specific reason you feel this way?
No. 1982673
File: 1714259787234.jpeg (48.97 KB, 631x631, IMG_1188.jpeg)
i relapsed on self harm over the most stupidest thing ever and i’m feeling like a total retard cause i was two years clean and now i have to start over. i’ve been breaking down over it all day today.
No. 1982681
>>1982673you could try reframing it in your mind as more like "in two years I only had one slip up". I think there's a limit to gamifying your sobriety and stuff like that, as if everything is over if you you don't have a totally unbroken streak and you have to
start over. the goal should be to stop completely forever but it's not like you're going back to square one if you fall off. just get back on and keep going.
No. 1982685
>>1982673Impressive nonna, 2yrs is a long time! At least you know you’re capable of quitting and quitting well. If you’re worried about it happening again you should think a little why you relapsed this time but try your best not to dwell.
I’m probably preaching to the choir by saying all this but the more you keep trying to quit the easier it is to stop for longer and longer periods of time. The same thing happened to me, relapsed at 2yrs, 5yrs, 7yrs and now it’s been 10yrs and I’m still going strong. Working out my
triggers and practicing safe coping mechanisms helps a lot, it gets easier.
No. 1982777
File: 1714264940544.jpg (281.76 KB, 2196x1824, GByn_D7bwAA3TpU.jpg)
I used to think people who said shit like "my 8 to 5 OFFICE JOB leaves me so tired that on the weekend I can't even pursue my hobbies" or whatever were lying and being babies but holy shit, I had so many plans for today, and all I've done is zone out and watch anime. I was only supposed to watch a few things but I ended up binging a few shows, Black Butler mostly, it's kino. But holy shit it is 7pm. I can't believe we only get a 2 day weekend. And I apologize to all the office nonas I told to just suck it up, who knew. I don't even know why I'm so tired really.
No. 1982790
>>1982777It's also weird how time works. I feel like getting home around 5:30 PM (6:00 PM at absolute worst) should leave me with plenty of time to turn up until I have to sleep at 11, but those hours just melt. It really does feel like as soon as I get home, I do one-two things I want to do then I have to sleep.
Very
very very glad that I'll put on a hybrid schedule in uhh…maybe June-July? Hopefully.
No. 1982813
File: 1714265898141.jpeg (93.24 KB, 932x939, IMG_5155.jpeg)
my friend of 5+ years and i had a misunderstanding which caused her to suddenly go all bpd rage on me. i have never experienced anything like that from her and was completely shocked. she kept guilt tripping me and brining up unrelated stuff to make me feel bad so at first i thought i was in the wrong and apologized, but she kept attacking me and twisting shit. this freaked me out because i realized that she was trying to manipulate me. i ended up writing a pretty kind breakup text and she blocked me kek. she recently got a gf who is a bpd chan herself and has fueled this behavior. she cannot stand me because she hated that my now ex friend would spend time and pay attention to other people than her. the gf is incredibly controlling and completely unstable, at one point my ex friend was afraid that she would hurt her because she got jealous and angry. they have been dating for almost three months so it’s not like my former friend can’t leave her. she even said that it seemed like her gf tried to isolate her from her friends and it looks like she succeeded. i don’t feel heartbroken or very upset though, she has been an emotional vampire and i had to spend so much time giving her emotional support bc she got herself into such dumb situations.
No. 1982908
File: 1714275294099.jpeg (283.74 KB, 750x751, IMG_7074.jpeg)
It’s been 2 years and I’m still grieving the loss of someone I didn’t even have a relationship with. what’s it going to take. I’m going to be sick on myself.
No. 1982922
File: 1714277791618.jpg (78.18 KB, 735x660, 9b0fad23571d8a1345b0633ad6e229…)
feels monumentally embarrassing to admit this, but it genuinely makes me sad that my boyfriend is always super happy whenever he greets his dog when he comes home from work, but when I come up and say hi he's way less enthusiastic and happy.
I'm not delusional and retarded to think I have to compete with an animal, I love his dog more than anything and I love hanging out with her when I'm not at work or uni.
I just wish he was as excited as me whenever he gets home..
No. 1982961
File: 1714283761211.jpg (36.63 KB, 636x474, 6222544e85becb8a3d534670_636_4…)
>>1982956nonna you poor thing you must be suffering so much right meow
No. 1982963
File: 1714284343340.jpg (21.5 KB, 249x249, 1697760396675.jpg)
i havent made any friends since hs or ever had a boyfriend and i want to but i have really bad social anxiety and i live in an old person town. i really dont know what to do about this and being so alone for years has really hurt me mentally
>>1982945i'd give you a hug if i could. would also use a heart emoji if i could
No. 1983011
File: 1714289822457.jpg (8.56 KB, 192x155, 54646.jpg)
>>1982956god fix this nonnas tummyache right now
No. 1983020
File: 1714291576357.jpg (14.57 KB, 320x239, 1000015925.jpg)
Listened to some songs from an online artist. Guilty pleasure, y'know. Did some research about the artist. Turns out, it's a fucking tranny. Not even a TIF, but a TIM. sigh Gotta clean up some of my playlist and youtube feed then.
No. 1983039
>>1982991I hope it can get better for both of us
nonnie..
No. 1983063
File: 1714296656098.jpg (47.66 KB, 1200x600, cat.jpg)
My sister took pity on me and invited me out to a social thing. Her husband's bday. Over a few hours I
>got super fucking wasted. Last thing I remember is saying these shots are weak shit
>talked to a guy who was super cute. I thought it was going ok but then he said "havent you said that like three times tonight?"
>have a million photos with the dog
>sister paid for a taxi to get my drunk ass to leave
I remember, at best, half of the night. I'm sitting underneath my desk in a little shame corner. I'm 27 I shout have this shit figured out. I shouldn't be such a mess. I really hope I didn't ruin the night. Ughh
No. 1983083
File: 1714298654863.jpeg (8.93 KB, 360x360, GBHq6DeWAAA5QwS.jpeg)
Father passed away in the last month. Currently dealing with legality issues regarding my father's estate. Been up all night with insomnia and indigestion because I'm so nervous and I can't talk to a lawyer until Monday. Basically learned that my half brother has filed a claim as a beneficiary of my dad's life insurance policy under my nose. He's doing all of this knowing he's not actually next of kin and he's not at all related to my father by blood because we only share a mother that never married. My brother is a typical bum moid with two kids from different mothers and likely seeing my father's death as an opportunity to profit from. I know once he finds out I've gone the legal route he's going to likely bitch at me, threaten me or guilt me with his kids that aren't my problem. No matter how this goes I'm going to look like the bad one even though I know damn well my brother would react the same if I tried claiming assets of his biological dad.
No. 1983100
>>1983091>>1983097Yeah, this. Dogs get incredibly excited when their owner comes home, obviously you're gonna match that energy. I'd think my gf was insane if she legitimately got upset and jealous towards a fucking dog because I'm acting happier to see it than her. It's not like anon runs up to her bf slobbering all over him and wagging her tail like the dog does lol.
If the roles were reversed would anon also be upset her bf isn't as excited as the dog is when SHE is the one coming home? Literally finding problems when there are none
No. 1983178
>>1983175Why do you want
victims to die? Wtf
No. 1983221
>>1983172>>1983175>>1983178Jfc farmhands should really consider turning off this retarded red text for all boards other than /pt/ and /snow/
>>1983191There's a reason it's called WITCHcraft and not wizardandwitchandwarlockcraft. Anyone with a dick can cope and seethe about it
No. 1983342
File: 1714318596562.jpeg (4.81 KB, 300x168, images (91).jpeg)
It doesn't get any better nonnies and my life is soul crushing. Nobody can even comprehend the extent of my pain and frustration. I've had extreme suicidal ideation since I was 8. I have many attempts . I realized that someone like Shayna or Chris chan live better lives than me.
I'm genuinely suffering and I constantly have no social authority . To this moment I want to kill myself and after 16 years I have absolutely no social authority or living quality and I've gotten my boundaries crossed my whole life. I've been going through the same thing since I was 8 and to this moment in my mid 20's my life is undearneath anyone's. It hurts me because I wanted to do something meaningful with my life. I'm consistently deprived of anything and I can't even explain towards anyone what im going through
No. 1983394
File: 1714322367954.png (346.45 KB, 750x748, 1000002516.png)
i wish i could eat a meal without almost immediately needing to poop. cant go out for breakfast or lunch or even like froyo unless the plan afterwards is to return straight home so i can blow up my bathroom in peace
No. 1983404
File: 1714323386006.jpg (41.56 KB, 442x632, 1681411426491.jpg)
i'm tired of being myself. I wish i was pretty or strong enough not to care about my appearence
No. 1983428
>>1983394sounds like severe IBS ngl
nonnie, not a doctor
No. 1983470
>>1983404That image goes hard
I wish we had more diverse clothing styles. I want to wear fancy opera gloves in normal life
No. 1983474
File: 1714327460752.jpg (74.01 KB, 736x782, 0ff824e69dd7774fc520cd96715682…)
I remember when my life was "autistic hikki neet" type of miserable and not "chronically ill, always nauseous, depressed mess, yoyo weight gain" type of miserable. I really envy my old self, she was happier, I can't go a day without struggling. I wish I could trust my body again
No. 1983503
File: 1714328690863.gif (2.92 MB, 275x275, 1652901131204.gif)
My mental health has been getting so much worse and my bf doesn't really help, he used to but it seems he is just getting tired of my shit. I can't afford therapy, I can't get a therapist until I graduate college in May and I can save up money for one. Idk if I can wait that long. I also feel like there is something seriously wrong with my brain– I have a suspicion that I may be high-masking autistic but I just do not know and it is driving me crazy. I feel like I am so alone and that I will never get better. I also am unsure if I even want to be in this relationship anymore because sometimes I wonder if I would be happier with a woman because then I probably would not have to kill myself with stressing over whether or not she is looking at porn or at other girls. Fuck my gay ass fucking life.
No. 1983564
I've crammed down my feelings so much the past year or so, it's been taking a toll on me since 2024 started and I've been subconsciously taking it out on other people by thinking negatively about them and then blaming myself because I'm not a great person either so who am I to judge them? Complete word salad but how do I move on? I can't go on repressing everything, I've been having tons of sleep issues and body aches and I think it's due to pushing everything away. I don't even know the source of my own anger or sadness most of the time anymore, what the fuck do I do?
>>1983503You're not alone nonna. I recognize every word you said, life sucks but you will get through it. Do you have family you can maybe talk to about it?
No. 1983573
File: 1714331228881.jpg (8.7 KB, 246x352, staring.jpg)
why the fuck do i get so nervous asking people to hangout? like, including already established friends. like if they dont want to they'll say no and it's not a big deal. but whenever i do ask i legitimately have to build up courage to do it, crazy. i really need to get over this
No. 1983587
File: 1714331946687.jpeg (815.89 KB, 1179x1581, IMG_3161.jpeg)
>>1983503i also obsessed whether i qualified for the autism diagnosis before i finally could schedule an appointment with a neuropsych. i was diagnosed with autism, but doctor diagnosing me himself said i fell on the border in areas so it's not a fully discrete trait. all i can suggest is to consider yourself to have "autistic traits" and feel free to read and benefit from autism resources. this is one of my favorite autism resources, highly recommend!
https://embrace-autism.com/ No. 1983673
File: 1714335653422.jpg (32.47 KB, 850x615, 1000002956.jpg)
My car is a brat. She's over 20 years old do she's a little rough around the edges. Im saving up for a newer car but until then im getting my mileage out of her. I went in for my yearly inspection today. My car passed, though there was some fiddling to get my high beams to turn on. As soon as I leave the bay, she starts stuttering. Now, that happens maybe every couple months when I turn her on and goes away when I let her rest a bit. I wish i knew exactly whats up, but i usually top up her coolant and put in some gas tank conditioner as those are cheap things to give me a placebo affect. It's just massively ironic and outright embarrassing for it to happen there of all places. Especially when the auto shop parking lot is one way and I had to awkwardly maneuver around and leave the "enter" way, otherwise I'd have to wait in line for 30 minutes to be able to reach the exit lane. Ugh, they probably think I'm stupid.
No. 1983799
File: 1714340140753.jpg (78.03 KB, 640x853, 1712266479875832.jpg)
I just don't like that moid and I don't like people around town for being one of his flying monkeys and enabling his social retardation. This shit could have all been avoided with a friend request or a DM on my socials. JFC.
No. 1983911
File: 1714348860495.jpg (104.58 KB, 736x878, 01eaa8c93fada32d72bd3c88a0c292…)
>>1983883They don't appreciate your kindness because they know, deep down, that they don't deserve it. Most men are acutely yet unconsciously aware of how much of a parasitic danger they're, by giving him love and care, you're basically declaring yourself as an absolute retard in their eyes because they know anyone with self worth and brains wouldn't and shouldn't even look their way. That's why they love bitches and women that ignore them or treat them like trash, because that implies you know your worth and role as a female and are above his male bullshit and manipulation.
All males feel rejected by their mothers the moment they realize they're not female themselves, the rejecting mother figure is a powerful one in their minds, by rejecting them, you unintentionally mimick this trauma, making them crave the validation they so much need as failed, rejected humans. Males cannot become women (human) and they know that, so when you address that reality and act accordingly they revert to their original rejected self and try to prove themselves to you (superior female)
No. 1983919
>>1983756Happy for you
nonnie I hope it works out
No. 1983977
File: 1714354042954.jpg (160.43 KB, 1080x1080, Tumblr_l_144625599442067.jpg)
I don't know anymore, nonas. I've been suicidally depressed for the better part of my life and I'm approaching my 30s now. I have weeks and months where I am better, but I realized recently that these are an exception. I spend most of my time in some weird gray "I'm ok" state that sometimes turn into depressive episodes and I used to think that this Is at least better compared to my teenage years (didn't bath, was morbidly obese, was afraid to go out at all) but idk.
My days consist of either working or with my phone in bed/sleeping. I don't have friends, but I still make myself go out sometimes, gigs, cinema, to the beach, gym when I have the energy, etc. but most of the time instead of enjoying it I'm trying to convince myself that I am. That it's a good thing that I made myself to go out today and I'm acting "normal". I tend to abandon hobbies and my attention span is getting shittier and shittier anyways from this self-induced lobotomy. I think I'm an autist and might be slightly retarded, I've always had troubles with socialization and a deep social anxiety.
I've tried antidepressants several times in the past 5 years. They stabilize me enough to go back to that kind-of-numb-kind-of-okay state, but in the end I just go back to where I was.
I feel like a waste of space that could have been taken by someone normal. I'm privileged to live in a mostly peaceful country, I'm otherwise physically healthy with some remarks, and I don't do shit.
At this point, I wish to either finally reach the state where I'm not afraid of killing myself (I experienced that kind of absolute low twice, but somehow pulled through) or that I will get into an accident and die as fast and painless as possible. Sorry for a shitty ESL rant, but it is a vent thread.
No. 1984034
File: 1714357432290.jpg (1.61 MB, 4032x3024, sNlOmQF.jpg)
i fucking hate incel stalker moids that cannot take a hint. rejected a creepy man from my university who kept asking me out… 3 fucking times! he's been emailing me asking how i am and if i want to go out and i just ignore them out of fear. two days ago he somehow found my social media and tried to follow me. i never gave my social media to him and have no fucking clue how he found it… i do not use my real name online.
i talked to him maybe once or twice in a class, but nothing beyond very short conversations. i feel harassed and i want to vomit. i'm a lesbian, i dont fucking want you, no means no.
No. 1984230
File: 1714376771142.jpeg (352.9 KB, 715x753, IMG_8758.jpeg)
>Sister goes on vacation and visits theme park for her birthday
>Mom gets slightly spergy about her not getting our baby niece anything from the theme park
>Sister explains that she didn’t even really have time to shop in the first place as the park was full of people and had long ride wait times. She didn’t even get herself anything except a headband.
>Mom nags her some more about how our older sister will be so upset for some reason? Despite our older sister telling us earlier in the month that our niece already has a lot of toys. My sister also wouldn’t care that much and would just be happy she had fun at the park
I don’t know why my mom insists on making a huge deal about this.I know it would be sweet to have gotten her something but let her enjoy herself without having some weird pressure to get her gifts every time. I’m just so annoyed that she’s somehow making her birthday vacation about the kid for some reason. It’s bizarre. I’m under the impression that my mom is putting all her attention on the baby just to avoid her own issues.
No. 1984234
>>1984214i appreciate your perspective but i genuinely desire partnership, unrelated to societal expectations. i’m never going to be the kind of successful or talented that balances or cancels out my desperate loneliness. i’m truly rather envious of the women i see thriving on their own, genuinely happier alone than with a partner, but i’ve never been able to be that person. my friends are wonderful, but they can’t fulfill all of my social (let alone sexual) needs. all of my relationships have been pretty
toxic and miserable and i just want to experience the kind of love and respect that i see my friends receive from their partners, but it feels like when men find out i don’t want children they categorize me explicitly as a woman it’s okay to abuse. i don’t know how to keep trying to find love when the same thing happens every time. thank you for your response anyway though
nonny, i’m sorry i’m so sad.
No. 1984238
>>1984214>but why do people fear being single so much?Nta. I'm confidently long-term single but like, there's admittedly some drawbacks to it? Sometimes you just want to get home to someone you love and who loves you instead of an empty home. Sometimes I feel like I'm missing out on a rock so to speak, someone I can rely on throughout life even though I'm independent as is.
Also being the token single friend and social pressure from friends/family sucks. "Anon, are you dating anyone rn? Why are you still not in a relationship yet? Don't you want to be in a relatiobship?" every time you meet up with friends or family you haven't seen in a while. People JUDGE and make you feel like you need to justify why you're still single. Being single long-term is stigmatized and it takes will power to withstand it.
Also the objective economical/financial drawbacks of being single. My friends were just barely able to buy homes with their combined incomes, I'm stuck renting for eternity.
No. 1984244
File: 1714378486111.jpg (19.04 KB, 525x476, gfX2O4l.jpg)
I'm getting ghosted by the crisis helpline
No. 1984280
>>1984269The manhate threads used to be so good before they got exiled, but I think anons got used to not having those threads and found other things to sperg about. Even the GC thread is not that active compared to how it used to be.
Also unfortunately any misandry discussion is going to get real depressing, real fast. It starts off laughing at them for being bald or something, then ends with the reality of femicide and abuse and pedophilia. It's probably better for my sanity to manhate in moderation, personally.
No. 1984285
>>1982886This annoys me too. Bad sex makes some completely mid-libido women not want sex anymore, and those women then go around saying they're low libido too, even though that's a different thing and shouldn't be used to further generalise the idea that women aren't sexual.
My best friend says she's low libido because her scrote doesn't know what a hug is- for over a decade he hasn't shown any affection at all and just wants to occasionally stick it in no foreplay, it's no wonder she doesn't feel anything down there anymore
No. 1984292
True crime podcast I was listening to was talking about this one guy who killed pedophiles, then after saying something the one guy jokingly said "I don't wanna piss off any of our pedophile listeners out there" and then the other host said "I know there's non-offending pedophiles, we got some messages about that. I guess the jury's still out on that one" and they didn't really touch the topic much more than that, seemed like they were tiptoeing around it as not to say something controversial. But pissed me off about the non-offending pedophiles bit. I don't care if they're non-offending, if they're non-offending they wouldn't mention it and constantly bring it up everyone says anything negative about pedophiles (God forbid…). Noticed this one reddit too, and then they pull some gotcha reverse like "by condemning pedophiles you are just preventing people from seeking help and then they'll go on to hurt kids" which is so retarded. As if therapy would help, if "they can't help it, it's inherent" as if it was some sexuality like being gay, then gay conversion doesn't work so why would therapy fix anything. But that's besides the point, it's not inherent, it's gooners who get that way via porn addiction usually. But now we have to be careful not to step on the toes of pedophiles and can't say anything too bad about them, gotta coddle them cause being mean makes them hurt children I guess (ugh). And then redditors even saying AI will help satisfy their urges UGGGH. yeah fucking right it just reinforces it's okay. I don't know where this rhetoric is coming from lately maybe the top or there's just more gooner lolifags polluting the waters with their weak mental gymnastic reasons for why actually YOUR the bad guy. I had a kid recently so this topic is touchy rn
No. 1984315
File: 1714387024514.jpg (17.16 KB, 484x484, ca116cb4c933fb4d174bf1030eb8e5…)
Last night we made loads of food for dinner and I was excited to have some of the leftovers for my lunch today but this morning my stupid Nigel took all of it! What a greedy fucking bastard I hate men why are they so greedy and eat so much?! I am so mad!
No. 1984409
File: 1714395659588.jpg (431.68 KB, 1079x814, Screenshot_20240429_150047_Gal…)
Context: I have anxiety issues and I wear headphones 24/7 even if there's nothing playing, otherwise I stress out. And sometimes I need background noise while I go to sleep or I'll be too anxious to sleep.
>be a conspiracy theory/mystery fan
>put on "5hrs of unsolved mysteries" video as background noise
>expect it to end while I'll still be asleep
>go to sleep
>4 hours in, get woken up because the vid got a little louder
>literally wake up to a recording of Annelise Michel's "possession" noises
>for like a minute, get confused and fucking terrified
No. 1984461
File: 1714397904235.gif (3.63 MB, 498x498, reee.gif)
checked /r9k/ after nonas said they posted caps from here on there, holy fuck there's so many "femcels" now/women calling themselves "nonas"? if this is any of you I hope you fucking choke, get the fuck off the moid boards and leading them here. I am literally fucking seething you absolute retards what the fuck is wrong with you?? you will be the DEATH of one of the last places we have left
even read one like "why are you here?: CC is shut down and raided so often so."
fuck you you deserve NOTHING
No. 1984467
File: 1714398149195.png (34.42 KB, 1514x272, utter retardation.png)
>>1984463I'm not going back for caps I'm too mad. I got this one while I was there
these are the retards you're trying to placate you fucking pickmes, get the fuck off lolcor you do not belong and you never will.
No. 1984472
File: 1714398381877.png (617.92 KB, 692x686, 2X has entered the chat.png)
>>1984469I'm aware, hence "if this is any of you" aka nonas here aka real women. I'm going to alog if one of you bitches thinks your self-worth is so low you need to sink to that god help me
No. 1984495
>>1984480That's so pathetic. These retards need to leave us the fuck alone. I hate how they think lolcow is some edgy female 4chan where they can live out their '
femcel' dreams. BARF. Stooping so low for the attention of worthless moids. Kek. Bleak.
No. 1984504
>>1984495I refuse to blame zoomer girls when I know millenial women as bad and women older even worse but FUCK the zoomers popularizing online culture even to its most
toxic degree has ended us up here. I love my zoomie and boomy nonas but two things can be true at once.
tbf millenial arrested-development women can be the worst for it.
I also figured it was par for the course that we assume troons make up the biggest percentage of these retards. they really are like a form of black mould or something, they make a whole area uninhabitable as soon as they enter. maybe worse, like bedbugs, because they also leech and are dirty and itch kek
No. 1984513
>>1984504Kek yeah, trannies always they 'live rent free' in our heads and that we're 'so obsessed' with them. But in reality these motherfuckers are like a plague, spreading themselves everywhere. Can't go anywhere, do anything without a tranny popping up.
And about the girls. It's true that boomer, millennial and zoomer women are all guilty of this, but it really is the zoomies pushing it HARD. On tiktok there are always cringe egirls trying to larp as
femcels kek.
No. 1984532
File: 1714401314224.png (3.8 MB, 2400x2400, 1701360819910.png)
>>1984513ayrt it really is, but I don't want to make the weirdo girls who don't fit that stereotype feel unwelcome while the ones perpetuating it feel very, very unwelcome. keep us out of your fucking mouths until you grow up at least. larping is fake and gay and so are you, you wouldn't know a
femcel if she spat in your face cause she's busy being a real
femcel while you're larping.
also I hate the whole "lolcor is
femcel" we seriously fucking aren't? there's so many cool nonas from all over the world and we meet here to congregate and shitpost and argue, to boil it down to some /r9k/ actual 4chan lingo is not only insulting but deeply misunderstands the culture and history of this beautiful shithole.
No. 1984576
>>1984573zoomies mostly, tiktok and fucking PINTEREST. and obviously 4chan now. like, actively going on there and posting caps from here like SEE ROBOTS I'M NLOG I'M AN EGIRL AND A
FEMCEL it's a huge bummer to see considering they'll grow out of the phase pretty quick but the damage they do will last years
No. 1984577
>>1984461I'm so curious to see that thread but I don't want to even bother. In any case we even have a banner that says we aren't
femcels. These retards need to stay on their lane.
Fuck Kate Tiffany too
No. 1984583
>>1984577it was just scrolling past the threads, the amount of I'M A
FEMCEL/BIOFEM/ETC. was baffling. go see for yourself. it was all sandwiched between porn and brainrot so don't but it's there for your own eyes.
>>1984579right? call it the fuck out now I say. not that troon farmhands help any, we call it out and it's "responding to bait" or some shit.
No. 1984618
>>1984591Why the fuck do they use our slang for?
>>1984588These girls are fucking stupid
No. 1984674
>>1984667I vividly remember it was maybe like, 6-8 years ago? my older brother (imagine an australian redneck) when I said to him "they're born in the wrong body" he fully tried to actually school me with the IT'S MENTAL ILLNESS but I was such a libfem handmaiden I was like wow….how could he (the word "transphobic" had never been said or I'd never even READ it it was that long ago so maybe 10 years? fuck)
he was right. one of the biggest pieces of shit in my life was right, and also about the drag shit and the…other shit (stopping myself)
meanwhile he tries to tell me they aren't cloud seeding over my head when I show him the actual government documents and we have family that are like YES WE DO THIS I WORK DOING THIS but I guess that's my karma for not believing him kek
No. 1984678
>>1984576cc is having this problem too. i keep seeing it and lc namedropped randomly and now an influx of normies and tt egirls larping as what they think imageboard users are like are everywhere. i want to jump everytime i see their retarded posts. i fucking hate the word
femcel so much now and the retarded images they use oh my god. they should stay on moidchan forever. i hate how moid obsessed they are bending over backwards for validation from these ugly ass scrotes that noone IRL would go near. i feel like im going mad
No. 1984690
>>1984678They're nlogs to the max. Probably have such low self-esteem that they need to beg crumbs of attention from bottom of the barrel moids on 4tran kekk. Honestly sad. They've already poisoned every social media with their shit, and now they're trying to take lc and run it into the dirt. CC seems terrible to me, I went on it a few times and I could tell it was filled with tiktard
femcel larpers. It reeked of them. I could sense the trannies too. That place is lost. If they try to taint lc I will declare war because this is one of the last sane places left on the internet. We need to keep these retarded barbaric savages out. We need to defend our kingdom and keep it pure. Fuck off, trannies and '
femcels'.
No. 1984718
>>1984697no more government-related, but I'll basically doxx myself if I mention shit. Australian Police shit.
is homophobe-chan a personalityfag here?
No. 1984723
File: 1714407858142.jpg (40.97 KB, 474x680, OIF.jpg)
Dude I thought I was over getting triggered by other women, but the unending coverage of zendaya outfits flung me back. Every day a different outfit where her body looks great. Every day on my fluffy gossip sites. Fuuuuuck. I realized I haven't eaten in a while and I needed to vent. I feel crazy because all of the discourse is just how good she looks and how she slays and stuff and I wish I could just get a break from it??? She doesn't have another movie coming out after dune and challengers right? Blaaahhh I hate myself for reacting this way and I needed to write it down.
No. 1984761
>>1984734I don't want autists. I want to hang out with normal, well adjusted women who have similar hobbies and frames of reference. I'm fine with talking about dumbass bl manga with my friends because we like some bl manga, the issue is how they behave, how they yell about it in public places like it's not bothering everyone else. If we're in private I'm fine with dumb dick jokes or dark humor. It's more a matter of context.
>holy fuck I'm so sorry, they filmed them (and you) that's clearly saying something.No it didn't happen (please don't jinx it) but I was saying that if this keeps up I wouldn't be surprised if thag happened. One of them called me paranoid over it and just a few days later a relative showed me a tik tok video of another relative being filmed against his consent because "cringe" or whatever so better be safe than sorry imo.
No. 1984982
File: 1714418148111.gif (11.12 MB, 505x500, 1000006930.gif)
I just posted in the hate thread but I don't want to double post and blog so here I am.
>>1984865I was reading a korean webtoon about a childhood friends to lovers story but felt the narrative was adding filler by giving the female lead a bunch of other guys trying to go after her and it
triggered my rage at some prior story that was a reverse harem. But it sparked another memory of mine, a vague memory of anger.
Last week I was arguing with someone about revenge stories. I don't care that the author wanted to subvert expectations and have the guy die before mc could get revenge for his father and the real story is the journey along the way. Even if I didn't know those spoilers and watched it blind I'd still have been pissed off and call the story shit because I wanted a revenge tale not "this". I mention it becasue it's similar with romance stories. I will go out of my way to find spoilers to know who the female lead ends up with because I hate reverse harem and love triangles so much and I've been blindsided one too many times to trust authors anymore.
But years back I had found a manga page posted on those 4chan/a/ one page threads and was like oh neat it seems like this is a romance between childhood friends let me forget to look for it but recognize it when it got an anime a year later and read it then. Only to find out I was bamboozled because that one interaction was the only romantic moment between those characters and I can't recall what the story was called or the plot other than "coming of age" but I can tell you I was disappointed and bored by the ending being about those two characters not getting together and never interacting again in the entire story despite their backgrounds because the author piveted the story to be about other characters I didn't give 2 shits about. It's been years but the anger remains.
No. 1985006
File: 1714418963854.png (112.51 KB, 427x448, a9A15Lm_700b.png)
I'm trying to find some writing groups on meetup.com and EVERY group I've looked at on this website is filled with random Indian scrotes. EVERY SINGLE ONE. It's so bizarre to me that some of these moids have their location set to shit like Bangalore but are joining groups in Europe for some fucking reason. Do they think these meet ups are for dating??? I don't get it.
They're seriously the cockroaches of the internet, creeping on women anywhere they can, no matter if it makes sense or not.
No. 1985086
>>1985079I'll give it a go but to be honest I'm toeing the line. I've been a depressed mess for ages. Dont get a degree in marketing.
Thanks nona
No. 1985189
File: 1714429155009.jpg (3.11 MB, 3464x3464, 1000020880.jpg)
Sometimes I want to murder my brother.
No. 1985191
File: 1714429313626.jpg (33.47 KB, 517x541, 1700929616217.jpg)
I wear baggy clothes, my face and body are masculine, my mannerisms are masculine, I get told all the time I look gay or have gayface but I'm bi. It never bothered me before but I'm dating a man for the first time and I wish so badly I could order some Feminine Woman costume online. Our friends and family keep making jokes about how I'm the "man" of the relationship and they are genuinely concerned I'm going to cheat on him with a woman because I'm so masculine and new to dating men I guess. Trying to figure out how to perform femininity in a normal way makes me feel like an alien though.
I even asked my girly sister to help me out and she dressed me up in her clothes but they were all revealing and unflattering. It was so uncomfortable. If that's what it takes to not stand out I don't think I can do it. I think GNC women are so cool but I have trouble extending that love to myself. I feel like I'm lying to people with my appearance, like oops you thought I was a lesbian? No I just look like that. It feels natural to me and I look like a troon when I try to look "girly". I know obsessing like this is embarrassing gendie first world behavior but I can't help it, I am forced to think about it every single day and nobody around me lets me forget.
Masculine, feminine, I don't fucking care I want to crawl out of my skin and be nothing. Whatever it takes so people don't look at me funny when I hold hands with my bf. Maybe if I was petite and cute with long hair I could pull off that "butchest woman twitter can handle" tomboy kind of look and nobody would bother me anymore.
No. 1985272
File: 1714433554916.jpg (275.45 KB, 1080x473, the gender knot.jpg)
>>1985191If it's any consolation nonna, these beliefs your families hold are down to old stereotypes from when public attention was first focused on lesbians and gays in the 20th century, heterosexual people at the time basically assigned women in same sex relationships "masculinity" so they knew which one was "the dominant one" just so they weren't betraying the almighty patriarchy, so it's all just stereotypes and you are allowed to stay gnc while knowing that everyone else is just ignorant about the truth. I hope things go well in your new relationship!
No. 1985276
>>1985191Do not listen to the fucking retards, I've been in the exact position that you are rn and I can say with confidence that you shouldn't force yourself into a weird box that doesn't make sense for you. What's the point of pleasing others while you suffer? For what? Approval and stopping the nagging are temporary because someone else, out there somewhere, is going to have a problem with you. Are you going to squeeze yourself into their tiny box? I hope you don't because you deserve your freedom of expression and being comfortable in yourself.
I send you love and sisterhood, stand up for yourself like you would stand up for a fellow GNC woman. ♥
No. 1985313
>>1985217>>1985276>>1985278thanks nonas I really appreciate it, just need to regain my confidence. No need to change the way I've been for years because of who I'm dating. Sometimes it takes reminding that being different is not bad, it's a kneejerk reaction from brainless retards whose opinions don't matter. I know if I posted about this anywhere else they'd tell me to transition or something so I'm glad I have lc, it gives me hope there's other women who are like me and live their lives how they want confidently. any gnc woman reading this you are cool as fuck and I love you ♥ ♥
>>1985272that makes a lot of sense actually. I was thinking about how I don't get bothered about my appearance nearly as much when I'm dating women, I guess then I'm usually the "dominant one" so people don't question it.
>>1985281don't worry blackpill-chan I'd never change myself for a moid. if he gave me shit about my appearance I'd leave. it's more like everyone else around me pressuring me to change tbh but fuck them
No. 1985332
File: 1714438397901.gif (980.3 KB, 399x307, 2492793_21b51.gif)
I never got how people can be sensitive about stupid things online but honestly i'm an actual snowflake when it comes to people talking about certain body types but it's also because i still didn't grow out of it.
I never felt balanced and so many people sexualized me so much that i just wanted to kill myself because i felt so disgusted and couldn't find joy in anything anymore other than disappearing online. Some bad things happened that made me want to stop eating just to hope to become skin and bones and not look like some disgusting porn actress before i died but not even that happened, somehow my body was extremely slow in getting flat in certain points which felt even more depressing. I just always feel like such a disgusting unloveable freak because of how i look and i hate how my body type is always associated with sex or unrealistic moid's standards, i never tried to look that way and i don't want to get surgeries just because of this, i just want to feel okay with myself, I want to feel cute and somehow pure.
I wish that me and the girls i knew in my life were never around men. Also i want to become an old granny so i stop caring about all of this but for now i will try to not be stupid and rant about it anywhere eles again, don't want anyone i know irl to comment about my looks either.
Okay, done.
No. 1985333
>>1984532>>1984585I feel like some retard is going to steal that picture and post it on 4chan or Pinterest, and from there it'll end up on some self-proclaimed
femcel's twitter. The cycle never ends, kek.
No. 1985341
>>1985313Love you
nonny ♥
No. 1985367
Here I was thinking this moid was depressed, excusing his absence and feeling empathy for him. I was feeling so torn in reaching out because while I was concerned, a part of me had some skepticism and reservations that he was soft ghosting me. You want to know what I found out? That he was actually putting himself out there the very same day he went silent, boasting about how he wanted to literally hand select a younger girl from an Eastern European village with his grandpa. This following me getting ghosted by a faggot who almost immediately started pursuing a 19year old girl afterwards (and rightfully getting publicly roasted for it by said girl). Honestly, fuck moids. I reached out to both because we're both in similar age ranges, same values, interests, politics, etc yet they don't value any of it at all. They'd rather gun for younger, more vulnerable women and mold them to their whim if they so much as think they have a chance. And yes, "mold". One of them even told me "women are clay and men are the guiding hands that sculpt". That was revolting to hear and I regret not bailing on him immediately rather than awkwardly ignoring it… I hate the way loneliness can fuck with me. This is all immensely demoralizing.
(Reposting because my edits didn't paste correctly)
No. 1985374
File: 1714442733227.png (3.23 MB, 1919x1079, bnnnnn.png)
I wish i never discovered lolcow, and it's probably the reason why i'm suicidal again. This website is the reason why i became a radfem and then i fell deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole to where i am now, blackpilled. My life long interest, anime and by extension video games have been ruined because i recognize misogyny in everything and even the smallest stuff bothers me, whether this is because of me being a radfem or growing up i don't know, but i'm sure they're linked. Anime and video games that don't feature misogyny are virtually non existent unless the cast is completely male and those works are usually lower quality (if there are any good titles with this please let me know) and it lowers my selection of what i can stomach by a landslide. A lot of these works feature the sexualization of underage girls as well which disgusts me, it varies in subtlety and i don't like it either way. I know fiction /=/ reality but it still grosses me out on a personal level and made me realize how obsessed grown scrotes are with underage women. The funny part is, i used to be completely fine with all of this assuming it was just fictional, but then something just snapped and i couldn't take it anymore. I was a self proclaimed radfem while i was fine with it, and i think this revelation is what opened the gate for me to abandon otaku stuff and reject the culture of it, completely out of nowhere. I don't think i'd be so revolted by all of this if not for the fact it's so much rarer with men being objectified and reduced to vapid fetish bait, it made me realize that these writers humanize men while engaging in the dehumanization of women the same way men do.
But it's not just the loss of two of my lifelong hobbies that make me feel so miserable now, it's how becoming a rf made me critical of everything around me. To the small things like questioning why my female friends sexualize women so heavily, or why a woman is dressing to a hooker to the bigger issues of is escaping the patriarchy feasible or will women ever be valued as people behind being eye candy. It makes me feel powerless, especially since i don't have the intelligence to achieve something revolutionary nor the skill. Intelligence is innate and i am not good at most things, or at least what's practical. I've always been interested in learning and more complex issues but i'm locked out of acquiring knowledge by my own lack of intellect. I can't prove anything to the world, if anything i'm only feeding into the misogynistic "women are dumb" stereotype when i want to break them. I doubt i have the will to kill myself but i genuinely want to die. I'm only 18 and i can only see it getting worse from here on out.
No. 1985421
>>1985420i hope you can get it all straightened out
nonnie!! (also that that ur baby shower goes well)
No. 1985427
>>1985417me too
nonny. i'm sorry. lets be miserable together
No. 1985594
File: 1714463830529.jpeg (71.72 KB, 564x564, IMG_0823.jpeg)
I hate it when my Pinterest feed knows I’m ovulating and starts showing me hot men pics
No. 1985631
>>1985374Nonna not sure if you will read this (if you do maybe reply?) but as someone who also got radicalized because of lolcow (and radblr too I guess, but I don't use that anymore), I had to quit the website for a while and then come back to see things with fresh eyes to realize none of what is being said in this website is that big of a deal and should be taken with a grain of salt. There's anons who will try to suck the joy out of everything you like because "it's too scrotal and wrong to like certain things" etc. I stopped liking anime and I stopped making art too because nothing of what I did passed the perfectionist standard that this website encourages on everything, not just media consumption, but also how you behave and look and think. You have to realize that there's a lot of anons that use this website daily and all of us think differently though, I don't hate fatties and I don't care if some anons think ghibli movies are actually for pedo scrotes or if liking anime boys is the ultimate form of feminism. You do you. Some things are blown out of proportion, first of all you have to remember that you're a woman and you'll never like things the same way scrotes do because they can only ever think with their dicks. If you draw or write or craft, whatever you make will never be as scrotal as anything men do. Second, real life is not lolcow, like what you like and find friends you can talk to about it. Third, every online space, specially imageboards, have a high chance to radicalize you. Just stay impartial, I will say that now my morals are way different to what they were a decade ago and lolcow did help shape my early 20s mind into what it is today, there's things I don't tolerate anymore, but you also have to be lenient with yourself and understand you're just cucking yourself out of enjoying life just because some people in an imageboard told you so. Be cringe and enjoy anime and videogames again, be free. Don't fall in black and white thinking. Being too radicalized made me lose friends and avoid life and everything I once enjoyed.
No. 1985692
>>1985006That's true nona. #Indians should have never been allowed to have Internet access.# Last year my dad made us go there on 'holidays' to visit his family. I met my thirdie cousins for the first time and there was one of them who was telling me he was desperate to go to Europe and even asked me to marry him so he could move there. Hell fucking no, I don't know what that retard was thinking asking me that.
When I said no, he called me selfish. Then he was telling me how he talks to random girls in the hopes that they would marry him and take him away KEK. This faggot moid had every single social media and chat app you could ever imagine to talk to girls. He even had those shitty online mobile games with a chat feature on them to find girls to talk to. He's so fucking pathetic. I feel ashamed that somewhere out there, a sewer rat is living such a life and has the same blood as me running through his faggot veins. Last I heard of him, he found out what anime was and is now a total weeb and wants to find a Japanese girl to take him to Japan….kek.
No. 1985695
>>1985006>>1985692My pregnant stomach was knocked into twice and both times were male Indians. Hard enough that it made me step back.
It's hard to believe it isn't deliberate honestly.
(same bait across multiple threads) No. 1985703
>>1985695I'm so sorry that happened to you nona. They are disgusting beasts with no morals and there is something deeply, deeply wrong with them. I'm never going back to that shithole again,
and I hope it gets nuked kek I hate that the governments of Western countries are letting these men in like a flood. They're so dangerous
No. 1985709
>>1985701>>1985703One was a kid maybe 14 that shoved past me when I was standing facing a zoo enclosure. I was pretty much up against the wall looking over and he shoved in between the wall and my stomach causing me to be knocked backwards.
Second was an Indian man watching me go through one of those metal swing door things to exit the zoo and he reached out and stopped his side from swinging while looking at me which caused it to stop suddenly and swung backwards into my stomach.
Idk why he stopped it though because he didn't walk through it. I turned around and clutched my stomach and did the wtf hand gesture and he just stared through me?
Both times didn't need to happen and I find it weird it was Indians both times, there were more Asians and way more opportunities for someone to knock into it besides those times. The kid could have walked behind me because there weren't that many people in that area.
No. 1985715
>>1985708Kek, it's not even racebaiting because Indian isn't a race.
>>1985709I wish I had explanations for why they're this way. I think because Indian men marry young women and the man's rotted sperm causes ultra retarded little ape moids like that boy you mentioned. No idea why the man let the door swing into your stomach. I think they don't learn manners over there or something.
No. 1985757
>>1985715>I wish I had explanations for why they're this way.I think it's because infanticide and sex selective abortion is so extremely common in India. Nobody there wants a daughter, and so Indian men turn out to be sex crazed mega incels living in a sausage fest country whose only experience with women is seeing their mother get mistreated. It's no wonder moids without any good female figures in their life turn out retarded
>>1985726Imo there's a difference between "muslim bad + fuck rapefugees" and the actual well known reality of Indian scrotes being misogynist sex pests who harass women anywhere they can. But who knows, maybe we'll all get banned kek
No. 1985765
>>1985726You'll get banned for racebaiting for saying your country cannot handle the 1mil+ new people from one single country every year, mods love calling any sort of complaint against a
POC 'racebaiting', as if being a
POC suddenly exempts them from any criticism.
No. 1985770
File: 1714476526174.jpg (98.34 KB, 736x735, 34127b9cf89d49bea0e29306641dd5…)
Last year I started having suicidal ideations a week right before my birthday, it seems that this pattern repeats itself this year too and I hate it - just when things actually got better for me.
It doesn't help that starting this year, I met again a lot of people that knew me from my lowest period of my life and just looking at their faces makes me want to run far away, reminds me of the worst time and besides knowing and having these people in my life back then, I actually felt the most alone with them around.
Yesterday I randomly started imagining self harming myself or never waking up (is this what people call intrusive thoughts? Idk) while at the gym and wanted to cry, but I also felt relieved in a way (?).
I thought I healed, I'm so mad at myself for having such thoughts, I don't even want to do this to my parents, I love them so much. Besides, I'm too tired to try and commit a suicide attempt, seems like too much. It's even apparent in my face - the person from the mirror reflection looks back with such tired eyes, they need some rest, I need rest I guess. Lately I've been easier to anger too, I don't like it. Despite this, even though I didn't plan to live this long, I think that life can be beautiful and interesting.
No. 1985819
File: 1714478983110.jpeg (45.85 KB, 360x434, IMG_0266.jpeg)
Not much of a vent but a blogpost. I really don’t mind dying at all, I just don’t see the point of continuing my life or being here or learning “lessons” which turn out to be suffering with no purpose or the fun of it. i’m tired of this being framed as “suicidal” or misanthropic, I just want to be free of all attachments and responsibilities that I never asked to have. I’m not supposed to be on earth I just want to roam free as a spirit
No. 1985825
>>1985819>I just don’t see the point of continuing my life or being here or learning “lessons” which turn out to be suffering with no purpose or the fun of it. i’m tiredSameee same all the way. I will get euthanasia when I'm 45, by then I've had enough. I already had enough tbh but at least I want to continue a bit more for the sake of people who love me I guess. What's the point of learning lessons and going through painful shit? There's still places I want to be and things I would love to see but man…
And the thing is not everyone understands this. Death is part of life and it's normal and it's relief. Death can be comfy. I don't want to die but I see death as something to not be afraid of.
No. 1985919
File: 1714484901281.webp (19.47 KB, 480x252, 9280_large_11eb17d1-e5de-4a40-…)
>>1985883Watch out for your teeth nona, you can really fuck up your enamel doing that and there's no fixing that. I have the same issue though, I've always chewed on everything since I was a kid. If you don't like gum, my suggestion would be one of those chewable stim toy things. Obviously don't wear a huge one around your neck like sped but they have discreet ones you can wear on your wrist that look like hair ties. Please stop chomping hard plastic though it's really not good for you.
No. 1985932
>>1985367Ewwww good you got away from these creeps
I don't know nonna maybe you should go for a young moid too
No. 1985941
File: 1714486511159.jpg (108.27 KB, 735x671, 27f81d2_1280.jpg)
>>1985511i really feel you so much there, i know it sounds silly when i struggle with the same thing but it really isn't fair and i wish you the best, i'm sure there are so many wonderful things about you nona, i always felt so alone but honestly it's helpful to know that someone out there understands it too, thank you for your reply. ♥
>>1985537Thank you a lot too! It's really hard to think anything positive when i'm troubled by that but now i've felt some warmth and will remember your words.
No. 1986003
My mom and older siblings are the outgoing types that don't really feel a lot of shame, they are just being unapologetically themselves and don't always understand how I can be so insecure all the time. I cover my body a lot, I overthink my hair, makeup, my hobbies, what I said, what I'm gonna say, my entire presence, the list goes on. I wish I was more relaxed like them, but I don't even have their high level of charisma which makes me even more awkward and insecure. I wonder if I had been more like them if we had shared the same father, instead of me being born to my autist dad.
No. 1986026
File: 1714491242606.png (261.99 KB, 488x508, 1352323.png)
Just woke up and it's 4pm on Tuesday. I started drinking on Saturday. Why am I like this? Why can I only be happy when I'm hammered? What piece am I missing so I can't be a mess? I really hope I still have my job tomorrow. I can't keep doing this pyscho alco shit.
No. 1986035
I went on a first date with a guy I met on a dating app. Within the first day of us talking to each other we spent 4 hours talking on video. We're in similar careers so we bonded over that pretty well. The next day we were talking for like 6 hours straight texting. Next day we call for 6 hours. By this time we have practically covered all our bases and told each other our expectations of a relationship and what we're looking for. The greatest thing is that I didn't even have to bring up the prompt, but he was vocal about how bad porn is for the brain and how prominent it is on social media. We've got into the topic of what makes us feel loved, baby names, and we're basically on the same page. None of these questions felt forced, it just all flowed. The vulnerability was nice to hear from a man. Then yesterday, we finally meet. It was tense at first, I was mostly very excited and holding myself back from wanting to give him a hug. Eventually, I just asked him if we could hold hands and I felt myself dissociating from the excitement. We then hugged again and he gave me a kiss, which caught me off guard a bit, but it felt really nice. I kind of felt ashamed and anxious because I could barely talk, I was just awestruck he's right here in front of me. For a very long time we just sat in silence, smiling, and looking at each other in the eyes. Eventually we went to his car and we made out and held each other for nearly 5 hours. By that time it was easier for me to talk to him, it felt way more comfortable talking after getting all the sexual tension I had out of the way. We didn't have sex, but we did touch each other. I'm really happy. I want this to last forever. He really cares about me, he's asking me a lot of questions. He likes playing with my hair and making sure he has his hand on me. I see him again maybe tomorrow or the next day. For me, I just hope I have more ability to talk to him about things. I feel like I'm boring, but he says he enjoys how I speak my mind and what's going on in my head.
No. 1986036
my boyfriend has finally grown tired of my suicidal ideations. i was dreading this moment. i guess he sees me for what i really am now. there’s nothing left for me to do. he was the only person i could talk to. i’ll have to shut his memory out of my mind forever. what do i do with all the memories? i’ve removed him now but it’s still so fresh and every second that goes by it becomes fresher. the idea that the single person who understood me, tolerated me no matter how disgusting i was, is finally sick and tired of my BPD shit, is hard to swallow. i always thought “he hates my guts, hes tired of me, he’s disgusted by me, he wants to leave,” but i never imagined those thoughts would crystallise into reality. and now im here, alone again, alone forever. i wish i could have gotten help but im so far gone. i disappointed him over and over. there’s nothing left for me to do. all i did was bring negativity into his life. how can i be so selfish? what is left for me now? there’s nothing here, right? there’s not many options that remain.
No. 1986055
File: 1714492595977.jpg (104.5 KB, 1242x1206, tumblr_f33a385a0f1c3bb956ff744…)
not going to my local grocery stores again, the sight of a happy couple burns my retinas
No. 1986207
File: 1714499832996.jpg (33.9 KB, 474x597, 7cd2e5461833d3f27c466d886fe15b…)
I have been getting brown discharge for a while, and today it was super dark. My period already came like 2 weeks ago so I don't think it's blood, but then what else? I have been experiencing infection symptoms but I was hoping it was something I could get over the counter meds for. My last period was worse than normal too. I really do not want to go to a gyno, I don't have time for it. Fuuuuck.
No. 1986225
File: 1714500812989.jpg (56.06 KB, 720x883, 1000002139.jpg)
nona who got fillings last week getting more dental work done. don't let depression trick you into thinking you don't need to brush or floss. don't be me. take care of your mouth
>>1983729you won't, but even if something goes wrong just ask staff for help. people like being helpful and are extra happy to help first timers. you got this, nona!
No. 1986252
File: 1714503556334.gif (357.2 KB, 220x124, white-woman-screaming-angry-th…)
I just saw some rumors of leaks concerning my husbando, and if what is being said is true I am genuinely going to freak the fuck out
No. 1986319
my best friend is dead and i might never see my mother again, im undertrained for my half marathon next week, i keep having episodes and flashbacks to when my TiM ex physically hurt me, i miss my friend, i miss my mum even though she was neglectful and violent and obsessed with her own victimhood, i dont want to see anyone, i want to be left alone for a very very very very long time, i just want to be left alone, i got back together with my ex and im quietly ashamed of the relationship, i stay in his house instead of my flatshare because i just have privacy and space here because he lives alone, i feel so guilty but when im at home i sometimes cant get out of bed, im unemployed, i want to go for a walk but it's dark now, i miss my friend and i dont go a single hour without thinking about herm i cant believe i have to go the rest of my life without ever seeing her or talking to her ever again, my friends are all TRAs and its so hurtful and tiresome, for the first time in years i keep thinking about dying, i've been taking drugs again and i'm so ashamed of myself and don't want to face anyone, i can't face it, i just can't face it, since starting therapy ive just been in a constantly activated state thinking about the ways ive been abused but i hate myself for allowing myself to just be ensconced in victimhood like this, i miss her, i miss my mother, i can't do this anymore
No. 1986383
>>1986377for me it felt like a vent cause i dont really have anywhere else to share it, it felt right to post it here
>>1986379theres a big hunk of racebait and somehow my joyous post is considered the problem. you sound miserable.
(ban evading) No. 1986395
File: 1714509929524.jpeg (61.97 KB, 411x736, IMG_0277.jpeg)
>tfw you did a tarot reading for that same anon who’s asking for another tarot reading to be done and it makes you feel like you fucked up kekkk
i get we’re all strangers but nooo you have broken my heart and esteem sweet anon
No. 1986407
File: 1714510502569.png (20.92 KB, 502x394, img-2024-04-30-21-52-39.png)
>>1986389Retard there is literally a positivity thread for this. I hate newfags so much. Where are all these dumb faggots coming from? How is saying something positive a vent? Think about how the word is used… "venting frustration", "venting anger", nobody vents their fucking joy you illiterate fuckface. Please read a book or something. Here's the positivity thread:
>>>/ot/1601035Please only come back to this one if it's to vent that you're roping yourself for being a waste of taxpayers money on education
No. 1986410
>>1986395No I just need more answers kek
I'm sorry though, you're very sweet nonna
No. 1986424
File: 1714510979127.png (11.25 KB, 477x217, please vent some bleach into y…)
>>1986413Oh look, there's 10 whole people on the entire internet as brickshit retarded as you. No, venting joy isn't a thing. That is not how that word is used. Stop raping the English language because they couldn't diagnose retardation in the womb when you were born
No. 1986442
File: 1714512039319.png (45.23 KB, 804x432, nice try retard.png)
>>1986424imagine going so far that you'll shoop a google screenshot that is obviously false
(ban evasion) No. 1986493
File: 1714515051348.png (37.24 KB, 532x420, i have a gun.png)
>>1986461>>1986453i put it in quotes and essentially got the same amount of responses
(ban evading just to bait) No. 1986501
File: 1714515435786.jpeg (216.54 KB, 981x1003, IMG_2274.jpeg)
I will never understand people that glamorize male friendships. “Ooh i wish i had made friends I wish experienced brotherhood” like as if the entire male friendship dynamic isn’t just following the alpha and bullying the beta. sure female socialization has its problems but a female friendship can be really deep. men cannot form friendships, they are only capable of forming temporary alliances to complete tasks. idk what do these pickmes see in male friendships because they objectively suck
No. 1986538
File: 1714517634271.png (1.2 MB, 1079x956, GMRVFP_WAAAvZAj.png)
>>1986516I get it nona, I've been so touch-starved lately I've considered hooking up with someone just to experience some physical human contact that's longer than 3 seconds. Cuddling and having sex with randos always sucks in the end though, you deserve better than these fuckboy scrotes. The brief connection you get with them isn't worth the pain and danger. Let's just cuddle with each other
No. 1986550
File: 1714518629576.jpg (47.81 KB, 735x699, 71b4071a65327beac091ad0bc643d9…)
Being a woman in a male-dominated industry is the stupidest fucking poison I ever swallowed. Straddle in anons, I gotta let out some steam.
Context: I'm a lesbian with 15 years of experience as a software developer. The moment these knuckle dragging apes realize you're a crusty bitch who interrupts their mansplaining and worse yet, aren't sexually available, they turn absolutely vile. They will hate you and want nothing to do with you. They will move mountains to embarrass and humiliate you. And if you still don't budge? God knows what they come up with, the next chance they get they will throw you to the wolves and ruin you. They're so used to women being meek and subservient or at least looking for their validation that they completely short circuit coming across someone who challenges their bullshit. The rage you witness in a man's eyes when he realizes you're more competent than he is and you refuse to hide it is uncontested.
And about your competence. You jump through hoops and fall flat on your face all the time because your entire career is sabotaged from the start due to your sex. Easy mode doesn't exist. Gender quotas are genuinely the only thing that get you past because you could be the most skilled developer in the room but because you're a woman you are invisible to everyone. You're an open invite to be sexually assaulted, harassed, belittled, and people can and will either take credit over your work or make you the company scapegoat.
Management positions? Only if you're up for jumping off the glass cliff. It's a proven fact that female managers are hired only when the company is in peril and they either need a patsy or suddenly those stupid soft skills women are so good at become valuable. Too little too soon, and now the failing company gets blamed on the dumb woman who was put in charge.
I just want to do my fucking job here, no bullshit attached. I'm fucking sick of having to have the same exhausting conversations year after year, people constantly questioning my professionalism, always taking me being firm with my forms as a declaration of war, I fucking hate it all so much. My female colleagues are always so broken in spirit and terrified of conflict that they're not much help nor do they offer solidarity except while venting in private. Jesus, I'm so done with it all, I hate men, I hate the patriarchy, I hate the female experience, the only thing I don't hate is my high salary but I often contemplate if it's even worth dying of stress before I hit 40. I'm exhausted, nonnies, I feel like going insane.
No. 1986558
>>1986550I feel this so hard anon, I'm in the same boat and the same field. I wish we worked at the same place because then at least we'd have each other!
It's taken me so long to get out of the habit of just letting men walk over me at work, and now it takes everything to keep pushing back and challenging them because, oh my fucking god, the way they will treat women who don't just bend over for them is worse than I had expected. I sometimes feel blessed that I am ugly because at least they only belittle and dehumanise me without any additional sexual harassment.
I'm so sorry you're going through this too, but I really admire you for staying strong against their bullshit for so long. I hate that just being able to pursue the career we want takes so much resilience as women.
I would take a massive pay cut to work at a female-owned company with predominantly female developers. I wish I had a good idea for a start-up.
No. 1986559
File: 1714519674322.jpg (109.2 KB, 750x875, tumblr_a32f2d28907f5bd7b524f7c…)
>>1986541it's a real hit and miss. last year i messaged someone and we ghosted each other after a month because we kept upsetting each other too much to the point we just agreed to never speak again. this year i tried again with 2 new nonnas and the friending went well for both. feels really relaxing to sperg about stuff i like with each one.
No. 1986565
>>1986558I honestly didn't expect anyone here to sympathize but thank you so much for doing so, anon. Makes me feel less alone knowing my struggle isn't unique, seriously.
>It's taken me so long to get out of the habit of just letting men walk over me at work, and now it takes everything to keep pushing back and challenging them because, oh my fucking god, the way they will treat women who don't just bend over for them is worse than I had expected. Exactly my experience as well. I used to be a bit of a pushover but over the years cynicism caught up and now I would rather die than let an egoistical scrote walk over me, which makes their behavior way, way worse. It's even hard to explain, but once you experience it, you just know. They try their best to pretend that you don't exist, but when you make your presence known, they just ooze rage they're trying to hide. A woman upstaging them will make even the most egalitarian man flip their shit and pull every dirty trick in the books to get rid of you. When men stop seeing you as something to conquer, they will see you as something to destroy.
No. 1986580
File: 1714521640635.jpg (129.76 KB, 904x448, FnBj2Y6WYAEYVH8.jpg)
>>1986565>>1986558>>1986550do you both have tips on sticking to your guns in male-dominated workplaces? my current place is all female, but i'm the only tech hire. i also plan to leave in a year to hopefully increase my salary kek so i imagine i'll end up in the moid shark pit eventually
No. 1986591
File: 1714522404769.jpeg (544.14 KB, 2048x1862, IMG_1985.jpeg)
I feel like I overshare and make everyone uncomfortable every time I interact with a group of new people. It’s so humiliating. I genuinely want to smash my face into a brick wall. I don’t know how to be sincere and open without coming across as an annoying abrasive controversial freak. I’m not even autistic kek (I’ve asked my psychiatrist and psychologist about that but they said I just have social anxiety). Why can’t I tell if I’m being too much? God I feel like everyone dislikes me
No. 1986621
File: 1714524434095.jpg (64.79 KB, 500x496, 7f3a9fa4d5b00da.jpg)
fuck fuck fuck my sister is always an inch away from becoming an actual lolcow but i've been trying to help her so much, i feel like i have to babysit her or she would go wild on her own and become a massive unhinged explosion of insane cringe and now she wants to try streaming. Something close to it happened once and it was already awful for anyone involved holy shit i hope that she will change idea soon, it's not the worst part of it but sometimes she blurts out the most stupid racists sentences and i feel stupid myself because they shock me so much that i struggle to explain why it's dangerous to say such things. Sometimes i want an actual normal millenial sister.
No. 1986649
File: 1714526391531.gif (487.12 KB, 417x500, IMG_9396.gif)
Think I have strep and I'm really miserable. I don't know why my cousin insisted on bringing her sister in law over when she was sick…. Even staying far away from the girl I caught something.
No. 1986701
File: 1714532207637.jpeg (1.84 MB, 4032x3024, SMz53xA.jpeg)
Ivy League anon. Might get b& for racebait but whatever. I just heard about what is happening at Columbia, and I am angry. All these Zionists ever do is complain about how """unsafe""" they feel on campus and muH ANtiSemEtISm!! when most people are simply criticizing Israel for being the cruel regime that it is. All talk about "protecting Jewish students" but no one talks about protecting the (largely) female and minority ethnic population who have always felt unsafe on campus and more unsafe still by these people who threaten their ability to find work if they so much as mention Palestine in a positive light—not to mention that women are the ones who are organizing these protests. I'm not even particularly invested in this situation—I think that Israel should leave the Palestinians alone, and Hamas should relinquish power as well—but seeing the disproportionate reaction to the pro-Palestinian side has made me more and more prejudiced over time, and I wonder why we let such a small population have such control over our country. I can only imagine that many others in Gen Z are feeling the same way, and soon enough people will start to see what actual anti-semitism looks like.
No. 1986739
File: 1714538206841.jpeg (139.15 KB, 735x736, IMG_8923.jpeg)
My moid admitted to me that he went searching for my Reddit account which I had specifically told him not to look for in the past because I posted about my childhood trauma in detail and asked me about the posts I made about our relationship issues. He didn’t seem angry but I still felt so violated. He already found my Tumblr and YouTube account, this is the only space I have left. He’s never been violent to me but having my privacy invaded like this really gets to me, especially considering the amount of things he’s hidden from me in the past
No. 1986740
File: 1714538309676.jpg (43.23 KB, 563x564, how it feels to have fun onlin…)
>>1986561>how did you upset each other? did you both have strong opinions about something and clashed?yessss she was younger than me by about 5 years and her behaviour was kinda erratic, so it became difficult to track. we had already established our different views on random topics (tv/comics/music/hobbies/games/culture) that sometimes devolved into arguments, so the more we spoke, the more we realised we had nothing in common to really build any foundations on, but because i liked her friends i stuck around, however at one point a difficult topic came up so i opened up and she called me a schizo. two of her friends (also in chat) thought that was too far/uncalled for. she then apologised and opened up to me in dms …by sharing pixiv porn. that pissed me off but she was so genuine i was like "this girl is insane." i told her that i found it inappropriate and she got pissed off yadda yadda. shortly after we just acknowledged we are never gonna be on the same wavelength or hold the same views on things and we ignored each other.
however those two friends who stood up for me stayed in contact, and we now have a group chat and haven't spoken to her since kek. literal teen movie ending hahahaha. they both told me they respected that i held my ground with her every day and wanted to be my friend. being told that made me so happy that afterwards i made the efforts to build our friendship and now we've all become so close we want to travel to see each other one day. (each of us are on different continents kek)
No. 1986754
>>1986750She's actually right… That's the worst part.
I've quit college three times already and work was stressing me out so when I told her I wanted to try makeup stuff while I'm looking for a job I didn't expect brutal honesty, I mean, I get she doesn't want me to waste my time but me and everyone's have always been supportive of her hobbies…
About the nails thing, don't know really, I do that because I'm recovering from self harm.
Sorry for the tmi but yeah, I'm pretty much an unhinged loser at the moment.
No. 1986758
File: 1714540103427.png (208.79 KB, 500x388, unknown.png)
I fucking hate Body Dysmorphic Disorder. It’s ridiculous, it’s torture to simultaneously reject the notion that appearance and youth are the be all end all of life and yet unable to stop THINKING ABOUT IT. I hate feeling so so self absorbed and narcissistic because this consumes so much of my time. I can physically feel every single microexpression I make and it fills me with dread, my hair is inhuman looking, I look like an alien and I’ve been convinced I am not human at times. I used to have a folder of comparisons between old childhood photos to see if they all matched up, maybe I replaced a girl. My face is evil and IMMORAL. Someday I will light it on fire and destroy it so I don’t have to fucking think about it anymore!
I don’t CARE about appearance, I SWEAR to god. It’s stupid and youth is fleeting. I don’t care so why can’t I stop physically feeling my own face. Seeing my face makes me so angry sometimes. I can’t walk outside without a hoodie on if I’m facing the wind because my hair is inhuman and gets so messed up. My shit’s all retarded and I just want to be able to focus on things I care about like language and programming. Lost a decade + to this shit.
No. 1986769
File: 1714541844041.jpg (33.15 KB, 360x360, g4sy3ltn77o31.jpg)
I regret not taking the christpill, tbh. Radical men on the left and right are scary and dangerous but moderate lefties still run the risk of being "I'm filthy and obese because I'm depressed!!" tranny lovers. All the best men I've met in my city are moderate christian conservatives, who are all fit, healthy, and already taken. I'd be willing to fake a little piety if it meant getting a nice and cute moid.
No. 1986805
File: 1714547457339.jpeg (29.73 KB, 554x554, IMG_5989.jpeg)
Life the past 2 and a half years has been empty and relentless. I had one good summer and then poof it was gone. I hope something good suspiciously blows my way soon but I know I actually have to do something for anything to change.
No. 1986853
>>1986810Lol fair, sorry
nonnie didn't mean to imply you were defending men of any kind
No. 1986965
>>1986958That would be super helpful. I'll try it out. Thanks,
nonnie.
No. 1987020
File: 1714570473036.gif (438.77 KB, 220x138, IMG_0287.gif)
>tfw you will never be a mermaid
>tfw you can wash away all of the modern stink and sins
>tfw you can’t wash away the trannies and fags into the ocean like the next coming of the genesis flood
>it’s all over
No. 1987117
File: 1714578215375.png (488.27 KB, 640x640, CC8420B1-4661-4A39-A686-959AC8…)
>>1986586thank you queen. also what tech stack do you use out of pure curiosity? i’m all sql/python/dax at work (if that counts kek i feel it doesn’t) and some low tier javascript for front end bells and whistles. i wish i was working with c++/c# something “tougher” for bragging rights
No. 1987167
File: 1714582240035.png (232.13 KB, 448x360, 1532116194698.png)
The guy I want to fuck is sending me the unfunniest, lamest memes and I managed to pretend for a while and tell him that they are oh so funny but today I was just at my wits end and send him pic related and now he won't respond.
No. 1987170
File: 1714582446064.jpeg (131.13 KB, 736x736, IMG_9902.jpeg)
>>1987167tell him the funniest joke he could make was accidentally sending you some money (and the punchline is that you never return the money back and ghost him)
No. 1987183
>>1987117For the past years I've work in web development, fullstacking javascript/typescript mostly and a lot of CSS, some devops stuff, had my finger in many pies back in the day but I intentionally moved into more front end stuff because there are more women involved with that side of things. Don't worry about "not doing tougher things", c++ and c# are only considered muh real programming languages because their community is a sweaty scrote central and they only thing they're considered "hard" is because it's so fucking tedious to write a program in C. Modern web development requires you to be a jack of all trades and constantly evolve with the field which is way more demanding than picking a programming language that's been stagnant for 20+ years. Good luck with your career
nonny, loving your picrel kek.
No. 1987203
File: 1714583773169.png (306.48 KB, 514x577, coughhackachoowheeze.PNG)
>>1987180Throw these at his head
No. 1987243
>>198658010+ years of being in IT as the only girl. You either crumble at the scrotes calling you a bitch, or rise above and become the bitch they hate. Here's some fun tips my pissed off autistic ass has learned over the years:
Treat those fuckers like they treat you, make them feel dumb as shit because they typically are.
Ex: "Come on Nigel, even I'm a girl and I know how fucking radius works." Do this in front of the others to establish dominance. After all, this is the only way a male IT scrote knows how to behave. They attack the weakest link and getting dissed on by the office girl is lowest low, dude will crumble and fucking fade like his favorite anime pillow over the years.
They're also going to try and put you in so many stereotypical girl boxes, fucking use it to your advantage.
Ex: Late to a meeting when your WFH and you need an excuse, "Sorry guys, I was busy making my husband pumpkin pie from scratch and I lost track of time, silly me" Their own loneliness will do the rest as IT scrotes love trad wives.
F>>1986580
or all other autistic ladies in IT who have to deal with dumb autistic male scrotes, I wish you well and keep on crushing scrotes!
No. 1987258
File: 1714587281424.jpeg (18.62 KB, 254x308, IMG_0292.jpeg)
>put vpn on
>writes entire post
>click “new reply”
>website thinks i’m posting with my og ip
>have to copy paste my whole reply, open the website in an entirely new tab just so I’m able to properly post it without issues
>sigh
No. 1987271
>>1987258are you confessing to ban evading,
nonny…
No. 1987292
File: 1714589412876.jpg (35.56 KB, 663x579, c2d.jpg)
>Reading how women are way more caring, compassionate and better listeners than moids.
>Then I remember my "friend" who was a narc and used me knowing I was an outcast, so I would do any shit for her "friendship". And turned out being me the caring, compassionate and better listener to her than viceversa.
Take care of your friends, nonnas. Dont be THAT person.
No. 1987299
>>1987291Depression works in funky ways, imo. But as long as you have a circle to trust on, can afford to go to therapy or let yourself be sad and cry, you're going to be fine.
Do not listen the people that tells you "do not complain, people have it worse" or "you're always happy, why are you depressed?". Your pain is real and you can handle it.
I'm cheering for you, nonna. Cry all you need, allow yourself to be sad to then stand up. Rise and repeat if needed.
No. 1987307
>>1987291Depression is a real illness that flares up sometimes. Maybe try to go to consolling (even online/text chat is available, crisis lines are good too for when you are feeling blue) just to have a judgement free zone. You don't need to always be happy
nonnie. I wish you luck!
No. 1987318
>>1987267I'm so sorry nona, I can relate because I took T as a teen and it had lasting effects that made me feel so unattractive. but there's way more detrans women out there than you'd think. there's so many women who would think you're beautiful without judgement of your scars because they've been there, or they at least have sympathy, and nothing in the world feels better than finding them. I randomly ran into a gc detrans woman at a party recently and that moment of "oh! you're the same!" was unmatched. I hope you find love
nonnie you deserve it ♥
No. 1987436
File: 1714595423284.jpeg (338.3 KB, 1060x592, 57CACC41-2E50-4FDD-B505-A7AD74…)
Had to end a promising, burgeoning relationship with a friend because he has very low self-esteem and a lack of strong identity and I'm mourning a little because other than that, he is handsome, smart, sweet, kind, thoughtful, and caring with overlapping interests. I still have soft, warm feelings for him but I do not want to put myself into this position again with similar types of men (had to break up with a guy due to him being clingy and too dependent afer a month AND I recently got out of something where the guy ditched me for another woman after). Bad timing all around.
No. 1987437
>>1987433Honestly I want to stop using image boards all together for my health and well being but until I get another job I just don't have the strength to. I'm literally in my friendless unemployment era and it kills me if I don't get base level social interaction somehow, but otherwise I would've abandoned the internet as method of socialization by now. I'm afraid to try friend finder thread to try and make new friends despite having multiple discord alts because I've had some bad experiences
Life is just really slow and lonely atm and the internet even reflects that. Nothing satisfies me and everything is slow as molasses
No. 1987449
>>1987440I hope things turn out better for you too. I have some online friends but I contact them a lot more sparsely than I used to and didn't meet them through lolcow or any IBs, I met them through online gossip groups and discord servers. They're some of my best friends at the moment but they're all out there living their own lives and sadly most of them are in different states or countries so I can't visit them. I recently got back into contact w a very old friend I hadn't seen for years but I have no idea what to say to her. She has a life and job and seems to be doing well for herself so I want to connect but I'm afraid all my mental turmoil and what I've gone through is gonna scare her. Even though in our first convo together in years we admitted we're both insecure lonely and mentally unwell out the gate, I don't want to hurt her if we become friends again and I end up having a breakdown and self isolating.
Wish you strength and love nona, hopefully you'll get through this. The only thing keeping me alive is my wavering optimism
No. 1987454
File: 1714596298451.jpeg (97.27 KB, 1280x721, C3DB9731-FE09-438A-922E-14E63E…)
>>1987441Takeshi Kaneshiro ie. not my friend
No. 1987627
>>1987609Nta i didn't want to butt in because i don't think i can make it any better but
>They never go on and on about their girlfriends the way women go on about their husbands/boyfriends/sonsYeah because they rarely really care enough about anything other than sex to put them in a conversation, at least with strangers.
I think that this is a place that is safe enough to say whatever you usually have to hide about moids, positive or negative, fictional or real, and also some anons may not have friends they feel comfortable enough to let those kind of thoughts or just like you said, they don't want it to be obnoxious so they sperg about that stuff here instead, i don't see an issue with that, there are threads for other topics too it's not like someone is passing a moidrot virus.
No. 1987706
>>1987673I get it
nonny, I’m disabled too. Try doing something to help other people if you can, even if it’s only through some online means. And remember, you have more value than almost half the population already because at least you aren’t a scrote.
No. 1987711
File: 1714614886816.jpg (29.8 KB, 400x400, j-roc_400x400.jpg)
>hook up with nice respectful muscled blond guy
>is kind of an airhead and keeps saying "namsayin" like j-rock
>nevertheless have a great time for like 14 hours
>hits me up a day later asks whats up I reply then I ask him whats up
>"just smokin after work long day know what I'm sayin"
>asks if he can see me again
Laughed irl fucking classic I wanna keep fuckin him if you know what I'm sayin??? Hope I don't get pregnant if you know what I'm sayin? Don't really see a long term relationship with him despite his impressive career path but admire his tenacity if you know what I'm saying?
No. 1987734
File: 1714618338717.jpg (5.33 KB, 217x232, images-4.jpg)
I'm agoraphobic and avoidant but I know how to make small talk. I like complimenting people and in the past that has helped me gain new friends. Friends that after college all went away because I couldn't keep up with life and I can't get close enough to people unless I spill all my spaghetti out. But I'm not sure if I can make deep connections with people anymore.
Today I went to 7/11 in the rare occasion that I go out and it made me miss having a life. Not just a social life, any life at all. My current one has been reduced to just my room and talking to my 60 year old mom. I'm stunted to say the least. I don't think I can open up ever again. It just hurts. I can only be moderately nice in the eyes of others. Don't trust them. I've had so many experiences now I just don't want to keep going.
No. 1987869
I had a dream that I went to Chile (??) (I'm latina too) to meet someone who I presumably met here first? And then we kissed, we made out, she showed me her lesbian/bi female friends, I comforted her when she cried about her life, I ate with her aunties, god it was so perfect and she was so beautiful. And she loved me, and I felt at ease around her and she did too. It made me realize how much I like women more than men despite me dating a moid right now. I miss her kek. I'm just not pretty enough or good enough to date women again, specially not someone like her. She kissed better in my dream than my actual moid ever could too. I can never get close to women irl because I'm ugly, weird, and I feel creepy if I do. I'm such a retard.
Worst part is that as we were cuddling in my dream, my moid sent me some messages that woke me up, and I couldn't go back. I love my moid too, but I'm dissatisfied with a couple things. I really am. I wish I had a gf that protected me as I protect her too.
No. 1987879
File: 1714647303431.gif (8.38 MB, 498x206, qbx9n22h2u6a1.gif)
seeing conventionally attractive or very attractive females on social media complain about feeling like jabba the hut or how they're only getting pity compliments always has me looking at my screen like gifrel. i know anyone can have self-image issues but when you're gorgeous i don't see how that even happens, especially knowing people who were treated differently based on looks alone i grew up fat and ugly and now i'm just bleh. sounds like some superficial highschool rhetoric at my grown age but it was cause for alot of issues so idk
just wanted to get that off of my chest
No. 1987909
>>1987889Taking a sick day isn't really the problem. Of course you should take a sick day if you're feeling bad.
The problem is your period pain is so bad you can't work (or do anything else, not a work problem more like a wellbeing problem) one entire day every month.
This pain needs to be addressed.
I had super bad period cramps (I'd be puking my guts out every month) and the medication that helped me were ibuprofen or flurbiprofen so you can try these if they are available OTC where you are. I'd advise going to a health care professional anyway to try and get an ultrasound for endometriosis and PCOS screening.
No. 1987964
>>1987572>>1987607Because scrotes,
especially trannies, off-anon on social media start this shit every time women complain about men. Like "wahh why do women always center men in their conversations around men can't we talk about some womanly stuff instead???". It only happens when women talk about how much men suck or what they find attractive in a man (that men themselves don't like).
No. 1987989
File: 1714656074789.jpeg (54.68 KB, 500x375, IMG_0306.jpeg)
it’s just so fucking over. someone give me drugs for breakfast pls, tired of thinking I can survive this life without prescription pills. do ssris really work or is it just a placebo because I used to take a small dose of them for a few years during hs and all it did was make me a ugly, fat bitch with a refrigerator body because my body was growing. a tinfoil is that I truly think ssris have the same effect that hrt does for trannies, it’s meant to interrupt the body’s natural development even when you’re 16-17 you’re still growing into your body. i genuinely think it fucked my body up. i’m also tired of my pcos making me a hairy sasquatch and it’s obscene the amount of hair I have all over my body and the way it makes my body feel. just take me out, i’m tired of fighting this shit, iknow people go through way more agonizing shit but even though i thought enduring the pain would make it less obvious in my life it has made my tolerance for pain extremely low. there’s no healing from anything, i just want to die
No. 1987992
>>1987983She's twisting what was actually said because she's butthurt. She thinks that teenage girls getting pregnant is a good thing, and that any attempt to control teenage pregnancy is a war crime that makes you a pedophile. Because everyone knows that pedophiles want to stop teenagers from having children because they hate having more
victims.
No. 1987999
>>1987909>>1987911I was diagnosed with PCOS and tbh I want to try to manage it with diet and other things first. I'm scared of birth control because it comes with higher risk of breast cancer (my mom died from breast cancer) and I'm paranoid about cancer. Gyno said I would have to have my breasts checked with an ultrasound every 6 months. Plus it comes with other side effects and risk of blood clots
I'm trying inositol, it was supposed to make my cycle more regular, and maybe it became a little bit more regular (like I don't miss periods anymore) but I feel like the periods themselves became even WORSE since I started taking it. Is this possible? I've been taking it for 4 months. The only good thing is that it seems like my hair doesn't fall out as much as before. I will try to change my diet, I heard that plant based helps. It would be great to also reduce chronic stress, but with my autism every day chores are stress inducing and I have a shitload of generational trauma so it's really hard to manage my fight or flight response
>>1987921>playing with the chunky clotsWould you elaborate on that
No. 1988000
>>1987992Nope, go back and read the thread. No one said teen pregnancy is good. You defended sterilizing children and adult women without consent for decades, then brought up there being no laws against pedo reproduction after being told it's barbaric to do that. It's right here:
>>>/ot/1987894Imagine reading "Ethnic cleansing was enacted on these people for years, and continued on to this day" is "Well, they would've made bad reproductive decisions, anyway, soooo".
No. 1988004
>>1988002Do you support forcibly sterilizing teenage rape
victims? No therapy, no support, no education, just covert sterilization on her and countless others, including women over 24?
No. 1988030
>>1988011You keep dodging the question because you know you'll be crucified if you actually answer it: That you support teenagers having babies. Huh, I wonder why someone who support vulnerable teenagers having babies would call anyone who opposed that a pedophile?
The funny thing is, I don't actually believe you're a pedophile, I think you're someone with zero real world experience who believes in things magically being fixed if we just bring attention to them.
No. 1988034
>>1988030I said teenage pregnancy isn't good, and that it should be prevented. Contraceptives and education are the key. You keep ignoring this because you're afraid to answer
>>1988004and projecting hard. You're a schizo who tried to make a news story about mass ethnic cleansing a soapbox to complain about a hypothetical teenage pregnancy. You are tone-deaf at best, and a mentally ill pedophilic male at worst.
No. 1988037
>>1988023Nona, both gynos asked about my family history and they knew about the cancer risk, they just said that the risk is "not much" higher on birth control and that I should actually be worried about endometrial cancer that PCOS can cause, blah blah
They also checked my hormones and they're not that off balance, I don't have too many androgens, or not enough estrogens, like
it often is with women with PCOS. The only hormone which is too high is DHT. DHT comes from testosterone, but my testosterone is low so I don't understand how can my DHT be that high… I simply don't get it. DHT was the reason why I started losing my hair a lot. Either way, they diagnosed my PCOS based mostly on my irregular periods (I noticed it's really correlated with the amount of stress in my life) and because an ultrasound showed that my ovaries are enlarged and contain many follicles so they look polycystic. I'm lucky I'm not hairy or fat at least
No. 1988053
>>1988034If you're opposed to teenage pregnancy, why are you against a temporary and reversible birth control method being placed in a teenager who actively tried to get pregnant before twenty? Again, I think you're so naive that you believe that if we all just magically wish for something really really hard, that it magically becomes true with no work or effort. I stand by my statement, no teenager should have be allowed to have a child, and if that child insists on trying to become pregnant(whether because she's mentally ill or it's just her culture), then she should be forced on birth control. This has nothing to do with her rape, this has everything to do with children should never be allowed to have children and the fact that she discovered the IUD because she was she was trying to conceive. Of course they should have executed her rapist, but that literally goes without saying.
>>1988040I also wondered this. Also, if the government truly meant to sterilize her, why wouldn't they just do it? Removing the oviducts would have been a permanent solution if they were running a eugenics programs, but they used a reversible solution instead. Why? I tried to look into it, but there doesn't seem to be much information in English, and the only mentions are that the program's goals were for control of the growing population instead of permanently removing a woman's ability to have children.
No. 1988062
>>1988053>why are you against a temporary and reversible birth control methodI'm not. Did you read the article? Do you think it's okay to breach consent and injure both girls and adult women, especially on the basis of their ethnicity? Do you think they just gave them friendly little IUDs with charts and graphs and took this method because they didn't want kids being abused?
Since you can't answer
>>1988004, it's probably safe to assume you can't answer what I'm asking in this post. Again, soapboxing about hypothetical teenage pregnancies and strawmanning all day won't make it better to force sterilization than to offer contraception and education, sterilize rapists (which you ignore as a concept because - why do you do that, actually?) won't change anything.
No. 1988064
>>1988037>endometrial cancer with PCOS Kek, yeah ok, I actually hate gynecologists. I’m not professing to know more than a doctor who has gone to medical school for years but you can just tell when they’re trying to peddle certain treatments or ideas over patient’s heads. The medical field is ultimately a profit-driven business and doesn’t give a slightest fuck about who dies, who’s suffering and who needs proper and adjustable care.
>at least I’m lucky enough to not be hairy or fatPCOS spun the wheel for me and it decided I shall have the amount of hair as a sasquatch, thankfully doesn’t make me obese or make it hard for me to lose weight. My sister has a more severe case of it though, I honestly think she has undiagnosed endometriosis but these gyns love putting on a blind fold, spinning around and then go “PCOS! Oh uh no… um… FIBROIDS! ERM WAIT no um period cramps that make you want to dig yourself into the middle of a tectonic plate during an earthquake are actually healthy and normal hunnnn here’s your pain killer prescription ♥”, if men were able to have periods, get pregnant, and have PCOS these diseases would be extensively researched and the treatment, care and diagnosis would be more available. I bless you on your health journey nonna, it’s hard out there for women navigating the medical system it truly is, hope you feel better and live joyful days in this shitty ghetto world.
No. 1988066
>>1988053>why are you against a temporary and reversible birth control methodIt fucks up with the hormones of a woman, can you imagine what would happen to a teenage girl? Moids should be the ones getting vasectomies, they're actually reversible and do literally nothing to moids hormonally, it's literally just a tiny pinch on the balls and that's it.
But sure, let's keep fucking up with women's bodies because we're always the ones at fault for daring to wear clothes and exist near moids.
No. 1988077
>>1988062>especially on the basis of their ethnicity?Why are you assuming that I wouldn't support this is every ethnicity? That's a you assumption. I would literally support this forced IUD in modern day for any teenager trying to conceive.
> sterilize rapists (which you ignore as a concept because - why do you do that, actually?)Yeah, why would you do that? Rapists should be killed immediately, not allowed to live. Sterilizing a guy before you execute him is a waste of time and resources.
>>1988066It comes down to whether the program was about permanent sterilization or temporary birth reduction. I looked it up and starting in 1901, in Greenland the population doubled every twenty years. There is no form of male birth control that is temporary and vasectomies do not have a high success rate of reversible. But I do agree with you that if the program was really about eugenics, it would have been far more effective to sterilize the males with vasectomies.
No. 1988081
>>1988077if the program was about eugenics there were easier ways to go around it. to me it looks like they wanted to prevent teenagers from being pregnant but didn't go the right/ethical way about it.
>>1988078if it was a hormonal IUD it would have stopped exerting hormones at some point and it wouldnt prevent pregnancy. hormonal IUDs are more modern than the ones they had in 1975.
No. 1988083
>>1988074More projection. Just because you're a former tradthot and still can't read doesn't make it true for everyone. Read the article and find out what was used.
>>1988077>Why are you assuming that I wouldn't support this is every ethnicity? That's a you assumption. I would literally support this forced IUD in modern day for any teenager trying to conceive.Because nothing you've said to this point would imply that, you're defending a method for genocide that wasn't just used on teenagers, but adult women (and was also forced on teenagers who weren't trying to conceive), was non-consensual, and caused lasting injury on those affected.
No. 1988097
>>1988081In order to control their population in the harsh environments they lived in and prevent starvation, native arctic peoples, which includes the Inuit mentioned in that article, practiced infanticide on a widespread scale. Girls suffered particularly, as their culture was patriarchal, and the majority of female infants were killed.
This practice was vigorously opposed by the Danish cultures and so you see a decrease and eventual disappearance of widespread infanticide as the Danes started exerting control over Greenland. So you start to see a really rapid population increase and by 1901, the population of Greenland was doubling every twenty years.
I would be interested in seeing statistics on when the Danish government started considering the rapidly growing population to be a problem, versus the rates of infanticide within the Greenland culture.
No. 1988136
File: 1714664020107.png (95.94 KB, 873x343, fs_.png)
>>1988131>people calling it literal genocide have shit for brains though.NTA. It's your fault alone if you don't know what genocide or human rights violations are.
No. 1988154
>>1988145Why are you trying to change the definition of forced sterilization?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compulsory_sterilization>Compulsory sterilization, also known as forced or coerced sterilization, is a government-mandated program to involuntarily sterilize a specific group of people. Sterilization removes a person's capacity to reproduce, and is usually done through surgical procedures. Several countries implemented sterilization programs in the early 20th century.[1] Although such programs have been made illegal in most countries of the world, instances of forced or coerced sterilizations persist.Nowhere does it say it must be permanent or irreversible in all cases to count as what it is, the IJR center doesn't say that either, or the European Institute for Gender Equality or the UN. Multiple mentions of IUDs in the Wikipedia article as well, are you going to argue with Uyghur activists that "Ackchually, that's not technically permanent so it's not forced sterilization, sweaty"? Where did you get your definition from? Either way, many women and girls from Greenland were rendered infertile and had their bodies fucked up in other ways, so it was permanent.
No. 1988163
>>1988157It doesn't, though. Again, are you going to argue with Uyghurs that it doesn't count as forced sterilization? Be my guest lmao
>>1988158>a-autismReading is fundamental
nonny No. 1988186
File: 1714665669413.jpeg (39.19 KB, 400x297, IMG_0278.jpeg)
can we just make a designated infighting general thread so these losers can stop? it’s not even fun infighting it’s just nerd shit no one cares about
No. 1988190
>>1988187nice argument retard, now go back to twitter where "
POC" can only ever do good things or get genocided and
POC men never ever do anything bad.
No. 1988300
File: 1714671337505.jpg (16.61 KB, 401x280, life is not daijobu todoroki m…)
I'm waiting for an email from my dream university to know either i'm accepted or not since this morning and none of my friends or family have been of any help to calm me down or even just support me, my mom is upset that i'm anxious and my drop out friends act like it's no big deal. I'm so anxious i've been sick all day, i can't even drink my stomach is torn. I've been listening to nujabes to calm my nerves and so far it's the only think that's working
No. 1988305
>>1988303I don't get how you can have entire threads dedicated to hating a particular group of people (men, feds, etc.) but then ban me for making fun of wojak posters. I'm so salty the PH of my body has changed
I wish my job would just lay me off. Just so I can get sweet sweet unemployment.
No. 1988308
>>1988247>>1988303CC's userbase has such a weird vibe to it even if you look past the raids and obvious moid posting.
>>1988306>cheaper>qualityNta but I can't be the only one who's local thrift stores are filled with shein and temu crap for primark retail prices right. And online second hand shopping sucks.
No. 1988314
File: 1714672281029.jpg (Spoiler Image,110.5 KB, 980x743, 7369af_d846b04d36a64032af67077…)
Learned of clitoral adhesions recently. I have a mild case. Honestly freaked out and confused looking at my vag with a mirror the past couple weeks. I always had a aversion to looking at it or even inserting stuff into it. Apparently a lot of women have it and don't even know. I literally didn't even know how a clit was supposed to look until now. I never looked closely at mine. Now I know you actually have to lift the skin around the clit to clean it. This is all shit I should have been taught in school. I'm almost 30… I hate being a woman you are constantly made to feel shame over your body and sex.
Nsfw pic of clitoral adhesions
No. 1988317
>>1988308i use vinted (eurofag) and it works wonder for me, thrift shops in my contry have been gentrified to hell.
>I can't be the only one who's local thrift stores are filled with shein and temu crapit's crazy how much shit people buy, the worst part is that they sell it for ridiculous prices, i'm not paying 15 dollars for a plastic dress wtf ? I hate how greddy people have invaded every corner of my life
No. 1988326
My boyfriend of half a decade just left me by leaving a letter and me coming home from work with all his shit gone. I thought I’d come home to one of the first meals he’d cook for me. I found out he was talking to another woman about how he didn’t even know if he wanted to be with me, he then lovebombed me and said he would never leave, then he did a week later. He groomed me since I was a preteen to be with him, it’s been an entire decade now and I have no idea how to focus on myself. I know I need to love myself not focus on him but it’s hard to not feel worthless. I constantly told him how he’d make me feel if he did xyz, and he’s already replacing me with a beta version of me (Same looks, same art ((not as good kek)) He never paid rent, cooked, cleaned, hell, I let him stay at my parents when he didn’t have a car. He locked me out of my old pc I gave him, the music we shared. I could endlessly go on but I feel so fucking stupid and embarrassed for being used. it hurts being the one left when I clearly should’ve. I am sensitive & ik I’m terminally stupid
No. 1988332
recently something just snapped in my brain and im regretting spending like 9 (maybe 10?) years on 4tran, seriously why have i been wasting my time shitposting with and doing doodles for loser porn addict pedo men, but at the same time i dont know where else i can go to freely discuss video games i like. ive met about 3 decent people on there that i still talk to so i guess it wasnt a total waste
>>1988326he sounds like a pathetic leech that you'll be so much happier without when you get over the initial loss
No. 1988346
>>1988336Seems like any discussion has to be interrupted with pictures of tits and how the thing is actually shit and only good for tits, I don't remember it being so bad even a decade ago.
I wish there was a place to discuss smaller series that wouldn't also be full of gendie shit.
No. 1988353
I feel politically homeless and it's bringing me down and making me question some of my beliefs. I'm someone a lot of nonas here probably would look down on. The bleeding heart, sjw-y, chronically online leftist type. The only thing missing from the bingo card is that I never liked Tumblr and I've just mostly been lurking around different places instead of participating.
I felt quite comfortable in left wing circles but some things that give me pause and make me feel alienated from otherwise like-minded people are gender ideology nonsense, surrogacy, and the absolute clusterfuck that is libfem rhetoric/choice feminism. I've also become more pinkpilled in recent years and I'm especially tired of the brocialist variety of misogyny.
So, I still consider myself left wing but hold some beliefs that would get me tarred and feathered. When I found radfem-adjacent/gender critical places to lurk in, it felt like maybe this is the missing piece. Maybe now I've found my people.
But man there's just some stuff that I can't agree on. The tradthot/conservative "hijacking" of the radfem label has been talked about on lolcow in many instances. Homophobia and reinforcing gender-roles. Some radfems praising absolute misogynistic pigs like Matt Walsh or Ben Shapiro. All these things made my eyebrows raise but I tried to accept the explanation that hey, we're being shut out of any left wing/liberal spaces, we're just collaborating on issues we share common ground on.
However, the racism, anti-immigration talking points and outright /pol/ tier rhetoric I see going around pretty much unchecked is making me feel like these are not my people. The most egregious example being how these people can still feel "neutral" at best on Israel's genocidal war. That under the guise of manhate or hating an religion that oppresses women, they can feel apathetic about the fact that the majority of the people being slaughtered are women and children. It's not "idgaf about moids killing moids kek" when women are mainly the victims and it's a bold faced lie to hide behind that.
So, I feel outraged and defeated by what I'm seeing and I'm really questioning all the things I actually do agree on with radfems/gender criticals. Maybe TRAs are right and I'm actually just transphobic and I need to "examine my biases". I wish I could unpeak. Maybe libfems are right and I'm a SWERF with internalized misogyny and I'm a prude who unfairly judges other women's choices.
I know there won't be a movement or a group of people with whom you can agree on issues 100% of the time. However, with both of the "sides" I've talked about here, I feel like I have views and beliefs that are incompatible with each one. And it's draining.
I want to be politically active and it's always been very important to me to think about these things and talk with people. But with one side I have to hide some of my views and with the other I feel some of my own "moral red lines" are being crossed and I can't stomach the ideas being cheered on.
No. 1988357
>>1988349I guess things are just going back to the times where there weren't large fandoms, you would just enjoy things by yourself for yourself and fuck everything else.
It's an annoying mind shift though.
No. 1988389
>>1988353if it helps anon, I think that once we start to question our biases and opinions and open our minds to new knowledge or criticize old beliefs, we are unknowingly targeted by "the powers that be" to force us into a particular box. If we are easily defined and contained, we can be easily targeted for propaganda, no matter what it's for or from what entity. I think that about white conservatives and self-proclaimed "members" of ANTIFA. We become astroturfed, immediately, and manipulated into aligning with people we otherwise wouldn't, and then we feel stuck once we're forced into enough of a dichotomy. Then we crash and burn or self destruct because we are forced into lines of thinking that aren't actually produced naturally, but instead concocted by political think tanks and grifters.
Don't "take a side" anon… keep this discomforting feeling with you. Your political activism could simply be resisting the urge to fall into dichotomous thinking and continuing to think critically about what you believe in.
No. 1988426
>>1988353Evaluating your political stand based only on a niche topic like troonism or sex work makes no sense. I consider myself a leftist, a socialist specifically, because I want the society to exist for its citizens, provide affordable housing and free health care and education so that people can thrive and focus on developing as a species instead of all the wealth being focused to the 0.1% while everyone else struggles to survive. I don't care if my fellow left wingers are pronoun respecters, trannies are such a small issue in the grand scheme of things that after I had my peaking moment and sperged about them for a few years, I realized that it's a retarded thing to spend so much mental energy on when around the world the wealth gap is getting larger, female reproduction rights are being attacked, homophobia and racism are growing more popular again and climate change is being ignored. Siding with conservative right wingers is suicide, there's no good ever coming out of it. Lolcow is so hyperfocused on trannies despite them being such a non-issue out there in the real world that it can truly warp your perspective. When I talk about politics with my left wing friends we talk about workers' rights, wage gaps, sexism and other things that matter, not how much troon dick we should be sucking or how much camwhores slay like yaas queen.
No. 1988452
File: 1714683868393.jpg (45.25 KB, 540x531, tumblr_e3be7fc7d1fd868a46b5e2b…)
My dad invited his first daughter to our home. She will come tomorrow for three days. And she will take her moid and their mini moid with her. And i have been told only today. Fuck this. I dont want them here. I argued with dad a bit and said that i dont want people in my home just like that. And he was like "Lol, your home?". Ok. I get it, when there's shit to clean it is my home and i "don't have to spend all the time in your room, go out more often, it's your space too". But when it's really matters it's not my space anymore and not my home. Ok. I would left myself, but i dont have enough money for a hotel right now and there is just nowere to go in this shithole. I don't have day job, i would spent these days there otherwise. Three days. This is torture. I don't care if i behave like an overreacting retard, i just cant handle stuff like that, ppl being in my space and shit. Cant cope. I feel like shit right now, i hate everything, i don't know what to do.
No. 1988472
>>1988452i don't want to sound offensive but i think you are overreacting
i don't know how big your house is but you probably don't have to be with them 24/7
i think it is fair that your dad can have people over
No. 1988617
File: 1714692941756.png (4.54 MB, 2048x2048, Coronavirus._SARS-CoV-2.png)
my whole family had the first real fun weekend out in years last week, after the holidays were ruined by covid that hit everyone in the house and lasted a month and a half. We've been back 3 days, and my dad just got a sore throat. Here we fucking go again.
I had a really important week going on next week at work and I'm sure by then I will be sick too, so idk what i'm going to do. It really feels like we do ONE fun thing together out in public without taking precautions and get instantly sniped by the universe for our hubris, thinking we can have a fun summer weekend out. I hate this dumb fucking reality.
No. 1988680
>>1988661samefagging, but it really pisses me off when people take weird personal offense or start making jabs at anyone who still has to take precautions against covid. Like they get either personally offended, or act haughty and condescending just because they are treating it casually and you aren't. I was at the register with my grandma, who was wearing a mask, and the dumb shit cashier has the nerve to ask her why she bothers wearing one still, it's been 4 years, yada yada. I said "she has cancer" and she shut the fuck up. Why do I have to reveal all of the medical issues plaguing my loved ones just to get random people from making snide remarks at something that literally doesn't affect them at all?
I post about how I'm upset that my family is going to go through another tough month and a half of lasting illness and the only response I get is some dumbfuck trying to fire off a smartass smug response to make themselves feel superior.
No. 1988715
File: 1714700195428.png (539.4 KB, 760x465, kkt74323.png)
I want to kill myself. I've been incredibly suicidal since I was 8. It's been 16 years since then. I genuinely wanted to do something meaningful with my life. I would have liked to make art, have a career in academia. I fell out of society completely due to severe mental health issues, childhood trauma, lack of resources. Do you know what's like to want to do something meaningful with your life and to end up having no living quality and to feel like your life is beneath everyone's? I'm watching someone eat food on camera and this guy has more integrity, autonomy, respect and financial stability than I ever will while I read Hegel and wanted to have an actual profession but I fell so ill that I am perpetually unable to secure my basic needs. Do you know how it feels like to know someone that stuffs their face with food in front of a camera has better living quality and more social authority than you ever will? But that you wanted to do something meaningful ?
I've been deprived of my basic human needs my whole life. At this very moment I see no other option but to kill myself. I cannot even focus on writing this post. I can't acquire anything within my life and I see people whom are worse than me get by just fine
No. 1988729
Please whoever is reading this don't start infighting but god i want to have kids so bad (right now).
I'm not in a situation where i can have them but i'm getting this longing more and more these years, it was actually so bad that i started crying about it to my family because i was just so sad kek. I don't want to think about the complicated things in the future if i can achieve it now but it makes me sad to know that i wouldn't be able to find a man for it, i don't trust them at all and i don't want to live with one, but i still wish i could have had something like that.
I'm not living like a teenager but i feel like it will always be like this until i have a kid, it's something i always longed for and i don't really have interests that block me from going that way, i just don't trust men and i'm not prepared to have kids yet anyway.
I feel so stupid and useless, i feel like i'm wasting my life right now but i don't want to sound like an idiot.
I know kids grow up anyway but i miss doing my best for them, i miss my little brother i didn't see in years, i miss the kids i used to babysit, no one in my family is having kids, everyone is just getting older and grumpier and more distant. I'll end up crying about it again, don't know what to do about it until it goes away.
No. 1988760
File: 1714703209326.jpg (21.36 KB, 612x408, istockphoto-1534066341-612x612…)
Why can't I get crushes on anyone around me? Over the years I've had 2 (all-consuming) celebrity crushes and a handful of fictional character crushes but I only ever had a crush on 2 people from my real life, and both of those happened when I was 13 and never again.
I'm 25 years old now. I want to fall in love. I want a girlfriend or a boyfriend. My whole body is telling me that it wants to touch someone and be intimate with them. But I am not attracted to anyone in my daily life at all. How does that make sense, that I so crave sexual/romantic companionship but simultaneously am not interested in anyone I see? I see a lot of people. Shouldn't my body just naturally start being attracted to people to fulfil its instinct? Why is that not happening? What is wrong with me?
No. 1988801
File: 1714706553468.jpeg (42.98 KB, 706x525, Lady Oscar - Episodio 19 - Un …)
>get selected for a public service job
>no longer live in the city of said job
>remember fuck all about the position
Why is god doing this to me?
No. 1988882
File: 1714710793349.gif (453.75 KB, 200x113, IMG_7765.gif)
I fucking hate the us health care system. I was having monthly/bi-monthly visits with a specialist for a while now and suddenly got a letter from my health insurance that the last couple of visits have been rejected and I have to pay over $500 out of pocket?? this shit has been covered, including at the start of this year and my health care coverage didn't change.
No. 1988918
File: 1714714495598.gif (662.47 KB, 245x161, Hv7B.gif)
I feel like I'm going crazy. Everything feels wrong.
No. 1989045
File: 1714734479900.jpg (10.85 KB, 239x387, IMG_9702.jpg)
I'm not doing well with online dating, I feel like I'm acting fake or overly casual and I don't know how flirty to act at first, and my convos keep dying, I know it's me. I honestly just want to hook up then maybe a relationship if we get along but I feel slimy since I keep matching with serious types that want to meet their "future wife". That's a lot of pressure and it makes me stress over my responses
No. 1989063
My mothers sister (drug aunt) has been honestly one of the worst people I've ever come into contact with.
There is so many things to list. From stealing my mother's engagement ring to pawn, stealing a house worth furniture from my grandmother while she was away and saying someone broke in, stealing my parents car and grandma's car, stealing money from everyone's purse. At the hospital while my grandma was dying, in front of the nurse my drug aunt has gone on a rant about her "black neighbour" who is doing yadda yadda to her, then said "so I called her a dirty n word and told her to fuck off". Putrid.
Most recently and my final blow was as she was getting a pension to care for my grandmothers brother who had suffered 3 strokes, unable to walk without a walker, unable to speak, she stole $28k over 6 months. She threw away a bank statement from him since he couldn't get to the mailbox to get it himself. The only way he found out was because a nice neighbour got to the mailbox at the right time for him.
I spent over 12 hours going through his bank statements highlighting every single thing she was spending it on, $100 dominoes, $90 mcdonalds, hundreds of dollars on alcohol. Useless shit. At the time she was doing this she was begging mum for money for groceries to feed her kid. My father was the only one working, they did not have the income to spend on her but mums till did. My parents went without so she could feed her child. Turns out she was buying $70 towels for her bathroom. When I say it makes me seethe I mean it. Cops did nothing btw, he's dead now so once again 0 consequences for her actions, I don't even think any of the family said anything to her about it.
I told my mother 3 different times leading up to now that my drug aunt is not invited as I will not associate with her now that grandma has died (i would see her at christmas), I want nothing to do with her, she will never know my child or even see it.
The other aunt has called my mother and said drug aunt is upset she wasn't invited and mums messaged her saying something like "oh didn't mean for you to call through the cracks just forgotten to invite you".
So over dinner tonight for my birthday mum and I had a back and forth over it because she kept saying she forgot I said I want nothing to do with her.. she did the whole b-but she's family thing to me. Told me that I have to be the bigger person, no I actually really don't.
Dad said I need go grow up, Nana said I need to be more understanding to my mother and just let it go..
No. It's my baby shower, I wanted to spit on her at grandma's funeral but it wasn't about me so I just didn't speak to her. The only issue is that the babyshower at my parents house since I live out of state.
I do not want her around me. The shit she has done to my whole family is putrid and I will not see her again.
So I have a few options going from here.
1. I unblock her from facebook and send her a message to tell her why I've not invited her. I'm not her friend on Facebook so it might go into the other inbox and she not see it.
2. If she shows up turn her away at the door, this will be awkward and has the potential of my mother trying to let her in. The has the potential of nuking the whole baby shower with the argument as its my parents house.
3. I write a message to my mother that she screenshots and passes onto drug aunt. Mum probably won't do this though.
I want to pull my fucking hair on nonas.
No. 1989167
File: 1714747213289.jpg (107.91 KB, 1242x1216, c41c014d3328f2633e2663cb2e9407…)
>>1989159Get off lolcow right now, nonna. Close all your open tabs and put your phone away. Get a nice drink, maybe a cold glass of water or some tea to enjoy while you study. Think about how much better you will feel after you take some time for yourself and focus on your studies. The anxiety will melt away once you finish. We can even study together, I'll think of you while I study. You can do it.
No. 1989169
File: 1714747327114.jpeg (89.25 KB, 680x681, IMG_4315.jpeg)
Genuine question how do I stop being unhealthily obsessed with an anime boy. I never watch anime even though I like it a lot because I always suspected I would become weird about it and I was right. If I let myself watch more anime would it help desensitize me? Am I just ravenous to finally be watching it? But I can't even keep watching the show he's from because I love him so much it hurts… please no bully
No. 1989177
File: 1714747626614.jpg (96.3 KB, 745x1083, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.jpg)
>>1989167Thank you anon, I genuinely smiled while reading this. I actually didn't expect anyone to reply, much less to be this nice. Hope you have a great day
No. 1989443
File: 1714761013906.jpeg (27.29 KB, 275x271, 1669734899354.jpeg)
>dating new guy, we had sex for the first time and now he acts in love with me
>see message notification from him
>"This is how pretty you ar…"
>butterflies in my stomach, open the full text
>"This is how pretty you are" and then a gif of some asian TikTok teenager dancing that he's obviously been drooling over
Trying to date males is reality check upon reality check upon reality check. Blackpills galore. I hate them so fucking much. My feelings towards him instantly disappeared.
No. 1989453
File: 1714761534812.png (65.72 KB, 342x245, 1000027270.png)
No matter what I am just fucking exhausted all the time I feel like I can never get anything fucking done. I need drugs.
No. 1989488
File: 1714763320738.jpg (1.42 MB, 2048x1428, psycry.jpg)
I never knew either of my grandpas. Actually, I have one memory of my paternal grandpa. I was like 3, too scared to look at his face, sitting on his lap while he smoked. He forgot to ash the cigarette or something, I remember a burn on my thigh. The thing is how much I love my grandmas. Like… Sometimes I'm just going about my day and I'm gripped with the fear of losing them, it's like I cant fucking breathe and then I'm terrified and so full of regret for the years where I feel I neglected them. They have always loved me so much and I adore them. I'm doing my best now to see them, speak with them, cherish them always.. But I'm so scared everytime we say goodbye. My heart hurts IT HURTS IT HURTS!!!!
No. 1989496
File: 1714763489556.jpg (873.7 KB, 2160x2880, e6f16caac3e6d0b56433fe0a4b4c0a…)
Anybody know French Chan from r9k?
Idk. I wish I coudl've been friends with her. I stalked her a bit and she seemed fun and relatable.
No. 1989518
>>1989514wouldnt have any neetbux + gotta study
>>1989515yeah exactly
actually i think what i really want is a 1-2 year long vacation
No. 1989534
File: 1714765339882.jpg (43.21 KB, 720x720, Tumblr_l_58753093499826.jpg)
NEED to have a so there's this old man conversation with my best friend but she's in fucking kankerland for the next two weeks i suffer unbearable horniness
No. 1989565
File: 1714766600339.jpg (146.11 KB, 736x1179, y4HnaJDRAeM.jpg)
I hate feeling so numb all the time. I miss when i felt things. When i could play sims 2 for hours and actually have fun. When sun felt good on my skin, when swimming was so fun, my mom had to bribe me to get me out of the water with a watermelon. I miss when meeting friends felt like something, when i knew what to talk about to them. I miss when drawing was like a new journey you are just starting out and there is a long road ahead but you are ready to learn. Nowadays i'm just so numb, there is barely any difference between working, gaming or drawing. Now, when sun is out, it's warm again, i hate to go outside. I hate it being so bright, hurting my eyes and making me so sweaty, because i'm so uncomfortable with myself. I mainly feel shame for things that normal people don't even care about. I hate feeling so useless. I have no friends to hang out with. Before, when i was a kid, i could spend whole day playing by myself in the grass, swinging on a swing or riding my bicycle. Nowadays i feel nothing, just uncomfortable and ashamed. I'm so useless, i can't even feel anything and can't even get a job that doesn't make me suicidal to be a productive member of society. Like, what's the point anymore. It's been probably like ten years since i felt normal and even then i already was depressed, just not to this extent. Nothing helps anymore. I don't even really feel the taste of my favorite meal i haven't eaten in a while. I really have to concentrate to feel the taste. This sucks. Everyday time just flies by me, i'm doing some shit like trying to learn, or draw or do chores or go to work or whatever and it's night again. Time to go to sleep and do some more useless shit and feel nothing. I need help, but i can't afford it. I'm also probably fucking autistic too, i don't even want to be diagnosed, honestly, it will only make matters worse. Just wish there was a way to actually fix my fucking brain and stop feeling so bad all the time. All the previous attempts were fruitless, i only was shamed more for being the way i am. Impossible.
No. 1989568
File: 1714766711568.png (184.85 KB, 460x345, Teach-Kids-About-Money-Step-1-…)
To all other ESLfags here, do you also feel like the biggest retard in the world while talking in your native language?
I always read the news and a wide variety of articles in English, which obviously means I don't know the terminology for all that niche shit in my first language. The way people look at me like I'm mentally challenged because I constantly fumble and use the wrong words or straight up don't know wtf things are called even though I spent hours researching the topic is so fucking embarrassing and frustrating. I'm not sure if anyone even believes me when I go "umm, uh, I read about this stuff in English, so Idk the words in the language that I grew up with and speak every day. I know what I'm talking about though!!!"
God I wish I was a monolingual burger who never has to worry about any of this
No. 1989593
>>1989565This feeling will pass
nonnie, just be patient and give yourself time to grieve. You can do this. Medication could also possibly help, thats what I needed to keep stable.
No. 1989615
>>1989571I imagine Spanish has many lovely books and shows because it's such a widespread language, right? Unfortunately my country (central EU) has the shittiest, most dispassionate boomer media ever, I swear. It's no wonder most young people here flock to English content.
>>1989576>all you do is regurgitate shit from the american internetWtf are you saying kek I was talking about reading Wikipedia pages (which are always longer and more detailed than most languages) and articles about science or history, not Twitter and Reddit. The reason why I don't read books in my first language is because of what I said above, and I refuse to bother with shit tier translations when I can read a book in its original language.
No. 1989636
>>1988839Thank you for the reply
nonnie, i feel a bit better today but i hope nothing is troubling you or gets in your way, wish you lots of happiness in any shape or form!
No. 1989669
>>1989593Thanks,
nonnie. I hope it will, it's just been so long.
The medication i tried, unfortunately only made me unable to orgasm and nothing else, kek No. 1989704
File: 1714771153370.jpeg (188.83 KB, 548x570, IMG_0343.jpeg)
i have the same anger level as a scrote who’s been in federal prison and i’m a puny average height petite woman. having this level of anger boiling inside of you and you occasionally releasing it makes you feel like a total pariah when you’re around other women. you just imagine yourself dying gloriously during battle as a war maiden while women are discussing about the retarded shit their nigels do. it upsets me because i know these women definitely have violent fantasies and anger problems too but they all trying to hide it and i just want to groove with other women are just as angry and bitter as me which is why i love this place but going too far with your words gets you banned.
>it horts 2 smyle
No. 1989745
>>1989667>do they not have science books in central europe lol?They do, but it's easier to find up to date ones in English.
>has no one written anything in your country's language?They have, but it's easier to find books I like in English. Plus I only read female authors which narrows my selection of books down by a lot.
>you don't have academic journals or research papers?We do, but it's easier to find information in English because it's a global language and therefore has the most information about any given topic.
Now stop baiting and go hang out in a forum dedicated to whatever country you're from instead of this dastardly English speaking imageboard
No. 1989747
>>1989704I love you anon, I wish we could go berserk together irl, I just keep on having intrusive violent fantasies that make me frustrated but now I feel better about them knowing there's a
nonnie like me out there
No. 1989753
>>1989729you need food that is less calory dense
eggs are great
No. 1989775
File: 1714773500052.jpg (41.15 KB, 993x628, 6412222408ea69001e41ade3.jpg)
>>1989738If you look in a mirror on a dark moon and spin around fast enough to see the back of your head the portal will open. You'll have to fight mirror you to get back. She'll know everything you know and tbh she's motivated enough to take over your life so she'll probably win. It's kinda like that movie Us. Clones are super motivated, their lives suck.
Probably easier just to learn how to read backwards.
No. 1989900
>>1989896obviously im on lolcow
>>1989898Maybe but unfortunately its an apartment complex.
No. 1989912
>>1989897If they offer you to go to counseling, take it and go. You sound like you're still pretty committed to alcoholism, so just tell them you want to get it under control so you don't lose your job. Because being an unemployed alcoholic is way less fun than being a employed one, plus it tends to lead to being a homeless alcoholic. Or quit and drink yourself to death. idk your life.
Good luck either way.
No. 1989922
File: 1714778339683.jpg (9.88 KB, 369x136, images.jpg)
Tried to be very cautious and purchase the correct size Snuffles but I fucking ended up paying $80 for the wrong fucking size AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
No. 1989923
>>1989648Thank you so much
nonny. I've never actually been diagnosed but I've always related with everything people say about social anxiety so at this point I'm pretty sure I have it. And the low esteem part seems to be pretty true as well. Therapy may be an option right now (can't afford paying for it but my uni offers free psychological counseling which might be helpful) so I will book an appointment and also I will try self help books and some CBT. Thank you for your help
nonny, I really appreciate it. Have you also dealt with these issues and did anything else help you? I am open to all suggestions because I am STILL feeling like shit 3 hours later…
No. 1989983
>>1989966I wish i knew that lore, I will keep it up.
>>1989956It did give me a sort of thrill, especially since i was listening to NiN while following him. They're lucky im not mentally unhinged enough to be a serial killer
yet>>1989909I'm a degenerate pothead. It was pleasant high.
>>1989917It's more fun living this way.
No. 1990013
File: 1714783888927.jpg (105.38 KB, 640x640, cjmkpvn460351.jpg)
I am angry that all I had to do to lose weight was stop horking down sacks of candy
What the fuck am I supposed to do now?
I just want to eat sweet and sour chemicals
No. 1990034
>>1989923It was mostly self-help books, therapy and random youtube videos about anxiety that helped. Basically, I had to realize and then internalize (realization is easy, internalizing is the hard work) some things:
1) Emotions Lie. just because you feel guilt, shame, embarrassment doesn't mean you did something bad. You have to look rationally at what happened and see if actually was a bad thing. If you feel like you can't make that judgement, then that's where talking to therapist can help to give an outside perspective.
2) If someone gets angry at you, it doesn't mean that whatever they are angry about is bad.
3) Most people aren't cruel. Most people won't mock and insult someone who mispronounces a word in a foreign language. I wouldn't do that, so why would I assume other people would.
4) When someone does thing cringe or weird, people can choose to respond with kindness or cruelty. If they choose to be cruel, that's on them, not you, because they choose cruelty. You didn't make them do that. That's all them. They could have choose kindness.
>because everybody can sense how sensitive I am.5) People chose how to respond to 'character flaws'. They can choose to respond with grace and understanding or choose cruelty and mockery. If they choose the later, that's not on you. And is nothing about you. That's their choice.
6) You aren't a bad person, even if you make mistakes. In brief, I define a bad person as someone who hurts other people solely for personal gain or pleasure (it's more complicated than that but nobody cares)J. I don't do that, so I'm not a bad person. If I start feeling like piece of shit who deserves to die in a fire, because, I, say, forgot to buy a birthday present for a friend, I remind myself that it was dumb and moments of dumbness don't make you a horrible person.
7) Are my expectations of my behavior realistic? If I'm learning a new language, what is the general skill level that people who have spent as much time and effort as me have? How do I compare? Should I really be expecting to never make mistakes given how much experience I have? Mistakes are to be expected when learning a language and even people who grew up speaking this language make mistakes so why would I assume I never will? Or that making mistakes makes me a complete and total loser?
8) If someone rejects me or does something that I think means they don't care about me, it doesn't mean non one will ever love me and I deserve to die in the gutter. Because how someone feels about me doesn't' define me. I define me (I'm still working on this though).
No. 1990036
>>1990029There was a rumor that got started about me in highschool that I slept with one of the teachers in the school. This kickstarted a series of events that led to me dropping out, getting my GED, falling 2 years behind in college, staying in a relationship with my
abusive boyfriend after I lost literally all of my friends, and becoming a total socially reclusive hermit during Covid. Fell into literally the worst depression of my life and tried to kill myself, and when it didn’t work I still thought about it every day.
Now, I graduated college with my degree finally. But I don’t use it for my work at all, and I make 6 figures a year. I made absolutely no friends in college, but I made a really solid group of friends after I graduated that I’m so much better off with. Left my
abusive boyfriend and now I’m engaged to a man that makes me the happiest I’ve ever been.
Point being college was allegedly supposed to be a life changing, critical experience for me and it wasn't. It was just something I did, and everything good in my life I have now has nothing at all to do with college. it won't be your peak, just like highschool wasn't your peak. Your peak in life hasn't happened yet. Struggle through this a little longer so you can finally get to all the good stuff
No. 1990040
File: 1714788365363.png (850.08 KB, 640x648, x00vkv3cike61.png)
>>1990034nta but these are very good tips anon very nice
No. 1990047
File: 1714789841639.jpg (86.31 KB, 750x1000, bg,f8f8f8-flat,750x,075,f-pad,…)
Unironically starting to think maybe I should lobotomize myself into liking kpop because maybe that way I could become more of a normie and maybe have friends that way instead of being miserable. I just hate that industry though aahhhh why does everyone like kpop now?????
>>1990034Screenshoting this post as we speak
No. 1990052
>>1990034SA
I forgot one thing
9) Positive self talk. I needed to develop the skill to talk back to myself positively when my brain was saying negative things about me and to encourage myself when I am feeling low. If I say "Je suis faim" in French instead of "J’ai faim", (one means I am hunger, the other means I'm hungry), and I start feeling like a worthless piece of crap, I have to talk back to myself and be like, "most Americans only speak English, and look at me being awesome by learning French. Of course I'm going to make mistakes but learning a second language is pretty great. Go me!"
No. 1990058
>>1989923>>1990034>>1989923>>1990047>>1990052It was mostly self-help books, therapy and random youtube videos about anxiety that helped. Basically, I had to realize and then internalize (realization is easy, internalizing is the hard work) some things:
1) Emotions Lie. just because you feel guilt, shame, embarrassment doesn't mean you did something bad. You have to look rationally at what happened and see if actually was a bad thing. If you feel like you can't make that judgement, then that's where talking to therapist can help to give an outside perspective.
2) If someone gets angry at you, it doesn't mean that whatever they are angry about is bad.
3) Most people aren't cruel. Most people won't mock and insult someone who mispronounces a word in a foreign language. I wouldn't do that, so why would I assume other people would.
4) When someone does thing cringe or weird, people can choose to respond with kindness or cruelty. If they choose to be cruel, that's on them, not you, because they choose cruelty. You didn't make them do that. That's all them. They could have choose kindness.
>because everybody can sense how sensitive I am.5) People chose how to respond to 'character flaws'. They can choose to respond with grace and understanding or choose cruelty and mockery. If they choose the later, that's not on you. And is nothing about you. That's their choice.
6) You aren't a bad person, even if you make mistakes. In brief, I define a bad person as someone who hurts other people solely for personal gain or pleasure (it's more complicated than that but nobody cares)J. I don't do that, so I'm not a bad person. If I start feeling like piece of shit who deserves to die in a fire, because, I, say, forgot to buy a birthday present for a friend, I remind myself that it was dumb and moments of dumbness don't make you a horrible person.
7) Are my expectations of my behavior realistic? If I'm learning a new language, what is the general skill level that people who have spent as much time and effort as me have? How do I compare? Should I really be expecting to never make mistakes given how much experience I have? Mistakes are to be expected when learning a language and even people who grew up speaking this language make mistakes so why would I assume I never will? Or that making mistakes makes me a complete and total loser?
8) If someone rejects me or does something that I think means they don't care about me, it doesn't mean non one will ever love me and I deserve to die in the gutter. Because how someone feels about me doesn't' define me. I define me (I'm still working on this though).
9) Positive self talk. I needed to develop the skill to talk back to myself positively when my brain was saying negative things about me and to encourage myself when I am feeling low. If I say "Je suis faim" in French instead of "J’ai faim", (one means I am hunger, the other means I'm hungry), and I start feeling like a worthless piece of crap, I have to talk back to myself and be like, "most Americans only speak English, and look at me being awesome by learning French. Of course I'm going to make mistakes but learning a second language is pretty great. Go me!" It may sound cheesy, but if you do it consistently and say something that feels true, it will work long term.
No. 1990060
File: 1714790886540.jpeg (103.28 KB, 750x702, IMG_0357.jpeg)
Suicide is the most rational, logical thing you can do. The fact that those who have attempted suicide claim they make a mistake and now want to live are only because their brains turned their instinctual lizard brain on to at the last minute that keeps you alive and alert, not because there’s anything to live for. You should fight all odds against this urge of survival and achieve purification through death.
No. 1990092
File: 1714794196924.jpg (Spoiler Image,35.58 KB, 400x500, 3483f16d8431d2335fbd81ee308322…)
Spoilered for image of moid but I think it's kind of annoying just how much MCU Steve Rogers completely ruined my taste in men and women solely because I was OBSESSED with the captain America movies when I was like 14 amd ofc shipped him with Bucky, who I projected and self-inserted as. So now I'm attracted to blonde men and women with aqualine noses (incredibly important part) who are kind of doofy and optimistic because of course I wasn't really attracted to the mcu captain America's personality as much as I was the flanderized fandom fujo version of the character's personality.
Anyway it just kind of makes being attracted to people cringe KEK because I so obviously know how tf my attraction was inspired.
It's crazy how I can clearly remember watching twilight as a child and not giving a single fuck about Carlisle and then watching it after my puberty driven obsession with mcu captain america and now I'm like fuuuuck Carlisle kinda hitting.
No. 1990104
>>1990092I used to be super in love with Hugh Jackman from the 2000 x-men movie. It wore off super quickly because Wolverine is incredibly ugly in the comics and is 5'3. Doesn't help that a couple of decades after that i had a huge crush on Joe Manganiello as deathstroke, continuing my bad taste in moids streak.
doesn't help that i find deathstroke just off the costume alone for almost a decade before this and it's been getting worse as dc improved his costume.>>1990098They do that because the costumes cover their actual abs. They are quite aware that women want to fuck superheros even before the movies.
No. 1990124
>>1990034>>1990052>>1990058I'm ayrt, holy shit thank you SO MUCH nonna you're amazing. These are all great tips and just like
>>1990047 I also screenshoted your post. All of your points make so much sense, I think I'll only have some difficulties with the internalization part just like you said. But I will try my hardest because living like I've been until now has honestly ruined my life, as dramatic as it may sound. I've missed so many opportunities and messed up in so many situations but the biggest pain is the constant stress I'm living under every single day as a result of this. So once again thank you so very much dear
nonnie, you're so kind for taking the time to write all of this and helping a random crying person on the internet. I am sure many other anons itt also found your replies very helpful. I wish lots of success in tackling the issue to every
nonny who related to even 1% of my posts. You're not alone in this bullshit but there IS a way out!
No. 1990179
>>1990176What type of supplement,
nonnie?
No. 1990183
File: 1714807969435.jpg (6.13 KB, 150x150, 1000027318.jpg)
First day back at work and I already wanna kill myself, WOOO!! Fucking faggots. I'm done taking care of your shit fucking fire me assholes.
No. 1990199
>>1990192I'm the same. Anything more than four drinks now makes me an nervous mess the next day. I've stopped going out after my friends kept asking why I was drinking a non-alco cider.
I wish they would make some alternatives. I'd like to go to a legal MDMA or ketamine bar and just vibe, with security and safety. But no, society says only alcohol and sometimes nicotine are ok
No. 1990211
File: 1714812463141.jpg (44.81 KB, 445x369, ezgif-1-3d5dff345b.jpg)
I live with my brother. He's been on vacation with his bf so my neet ass has spent her 5 days of solo house freedom drinking wine, watching 00s anime and playing Destiny. I'm still hammered, I reek of alcohol sweat and I can't get the smell of wine out of the house. Everything is going to come crashing down when his flight lands in 5 hours. Pic related accurately describes me
No. 1990224
>>1990214It often happens that I'm too tired to give long winded answers, but still glad the other person is speaking so things aren't awkward. Like, thank you, you're amazing, you're saving me the effort of finding something to say!
I think the people who wish you would shut up are really a minority.
The difference is, a person who's tired but wants to talk, will give short but re-engaging replies like "oh yeah?" "how so?" or wwhatever ; a person who just doesn't want to talk will just go "hm." "OK."
No. 1990246
>>1990213You're right I can do this! I've scrubbed and mopped the house, left the windows open. I'm going to have a shower now and leave the door open because steam gets rid of smells right? After that a couple scented candles. I'll leave a half bottle of wine in the fridge to explain any lingering smells.
Then when he's back just a quick "hey how was Portugal? Nice weather? Oh no way. That's so cool" and then hide in my bedroom until Monday. Then apply to some more jobs and then I'll be a functional human again. Easy easy easy
No. 1990257
File: 1714820308431.png (554.28 KB, 720x892, ehXQa0AegF.png)
I got transferred to a new GP by my old one because she retired, it's a shared doctors' office and the doctors and many of the nurses are foreign or 2nd gen immigrants. I have some auditory processing issues which makes it difficult for me to understand people in noisy environments, and adding in accents makes it even worse. The only time I went I had to go "what?" three times in five minutes while the receptionist was taking my information, it was super embarrassing. My previous GP was also from a different country, but I was her patient for ten years, so I got used to her accent and her reception area was always much more quiet because she didn't share her office with anyone else.
I can't switch because finding a new GP is hard since most of them are already full and can't accept more patients. I'll just have to tough it out for a while. Already dreading my next visit on Monday though
No. 1990266
File: 1714821606275.png (539.78 KB, 1038x582, aqua.png)
>>1990262It's not. I just get weird when I'm panicking and drunk
No. 1990285
File: 1714823131742.jpg (25.57 KB, 650x366, EW8ADImX0AQEQXP.jpg)
>>1990268Thanks! I reply back in a while if I don't get the shame face when he comes back. I'm feeling really confident about it
No. 1990310
File: 1714825959414.jpeg (141.36 KB, 735x719, IMG_0372.jpeg)
I’m not a self-help person. I can’t rely on myself. I need help from other people. I was a princess born on the forbidden land of Earth and was accidentally placed into a poor, dysfunctional family and trying to find my way again but I can’t, gonna kms. Just let me be co-dependent please
No. 1990321
File: 1714826931010.jpg (54.78 KB, 570x569, il_570xN.3089955848_32r8.jpg)
>>1990310You're not a princess, you're a queen. Here, you dropped this
No. 1990344
File: 1714828581116.jpg (753.65 KB, 813x1111, 1706038969268569.jpg)
>>1990211sounds like such a good time too
No. 1990348
File: 1714828736257.jpeg (88.52 KB, 640x527, IMG_0374.jpeg)
>>1990321Two queens just looking at each other and vibing. Pic slightly unrelated
No. 1990349
>>1990310Nona what's your age? I felt and somedays I feel like that but I ended doing and going through a lot of things by myself and learning in the process. I still don't know how I managed a lot of things lol.
Cheer up Queen, your inner strength will manifest and you'll be on your own just fine
No. 1990365
File: 1714830773693.png (417.02 KB, 472x600, image_2024-05-04_233447138.png)
I'm so fucking sick of everything but also at the same time I don't care enough to do anything about it. I've planned multiple dates and places and even completely sold off or threw away my belongings and cut off former friends and family members in preparation but I always chicken out at the last minute- probably didn't help that I chose painful ways ingesting insceticide or by train, which is fucked and selfish I know and researched shit tons about death and so was worried about how gross it'd be for some fucking reason, lmao.
The thing is, I'm doing fine if you look on the outside; I'm studying, I'm connecting and caring for animals which is nice and I'm able to do all the hobbies I like when I have the motivation but despite that I'm depressed and feel awful all the time. Could it have something to do with the fact I have no one I could call a friend at all? Perhaps, but I don't know, I'm so fucked in the head because of my upbringing that I don't see people as real living things and it's all a big LARP to get intrapersonal acknowledgement and vague feelings of comfort that gets negated because I feel like a manipulative piece of shit. I'm not quite suicidal anymore, I've gotten over it mostly because I'm scared that death doesn't bring nothing and instead life is actually this brief interval before our bodies get used by giant ants for some horrific purpose or something like that. I might if the environment gets too fucked up, but not for now.
Anyways, I'm sick of feeling like dogshit but I'm not going to do shit about it and I'll wallow forever for no reason like a big tard.
No. 1990388
>>1990285>>1990268So my brother found me asleep on the toilet. With the shower still on. House is cleaned I guess. Pity face is worse than shame face. fuck fuck. I really messed up here.
Pure meltdown. I'm going to get better tomorrow
No. 1990400
File: 1714833396843.jpg (38.61 KB, 720x331, IMG_20240504_173446.jpg)
Imagine if I said "Welcome to the world of black people. Sometimes we're niggers." I hate misogyny everywhere I hate it I hate
No. 1990408
File: 1714833888224.jpg (56.06 KB, 602x583, queen pepe.jpg)
>>1990400You spoke nothing but truth.
No. 1990419
File: 1714834416848.jpg (8.46 KB, 187x248, 1596051843933.jpg)
>>1990414You proved my point. You litterally sound like a
triggered faggot KEK.
No. 1990421
File: 1714834590907.png (669.47 KB, 708x659, 1000016122.png)
you faggots are really arguing about which slur is offensive when each has been used on people while they were being murdered anyway
No. 1990424
>>1990344It really was until today
>>1990402Thanks nonna. Honestly, you must really be the most positive person I've ever talked to
No. 1990426
>>1990414NIGGER, Abbie, Ah chah, AmaLawu, Ang mo,Arabush, Argie, Armo, Bachicha, Baiano, Bamboula, Banaan, Balija, Raghead, Ramasamy, Rastus, Redlegs, Redskin, Rockspider, Roto, Safavid, Sambo, Sand nigger, Sangokoujin, Sassenach, Sawney, Sheboon, Shiptar, Spook,Taffy, Taig, Tai ke, Tanka, Ukrop, Unta, Vanja, Veneco, Vuzvuz, Wagon burner, Wetback, Wog, Zhyd.
(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE) No. 1990430
File: 1714834897673.jpeg (188.69 KB, 702x600, IMG_8805.jpeg)
>>1990419>>1990408You need to spend more time catching dick inbetween your legs like a soccer net and leave black people out of your feminist virtue signaling, would be a better soccer match to watch for your fat ass chav men to go and kill other people on the streets over like they do when their favorite soccer team loses like a typical rage pig kek. Maybe go outside and advocate for better dentist care, britbong.
No. 1990436
File: 1714835096769.jpeg (81.58 KB, 642x761, IMG_9755.jpeg)
>>1990429Hope every Zionist comes for your people. Attack your smelly cumin armpits before you come dragging others into your retardation and focus on your moids not raping goats.
(repeated baiting/infighting)