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No. 1944468
why the fuck is this stupid fucking website so obnoxiously slow holy shit, do you mfers know how to code??
don’t reply to bait.
previous thread
>>>/ot/1936458 No. 1944481
File: 1711870844820.jpg (165.32 KB, 720x1274, Screenshot_20240331_021601_You…)
I've been getting shorts of this woman talking about breeding domestic silk moths and every new video just gets worse. She says they can't properly break free from their cocoons bc they've been bred to produce more silk for their cocoons, but on top of this, their mouthparts used for chewing out are almost nonexistent. So unless they get help they'll just die in their cocoons covered in their own feces. They have no ability to fly anymore, and because of this must rely on humans for food, protection, and finding mates. And mating is also horrible as she says that the males are so dead set on mating that they usually won't detach from the females so she has to separate them by hand. Or that even if they separate the males will just forcibly reattach to the female because they have such a strong desire to mate. She says this happens with wild moth populations but the females are capable of flying and can actually get away. So these females are unwillingly stuck with males on them until she comes to separate them. They live nothing but a miserable existence.
No. 1944490
I am a first generation American with Danish and Swedish parents, and after being forced to be around them my whole life, I hate Scandinavians so much it's unreal. I cannot bear their vulgar and basic sense of humor. After having been forced to watch dozens of Danish comedies, I have concluded that this "humor" is literally "haha poop funny". There is no Danish sitcom that is complete without several shit jokes per season. Moreover, while they like to pretend that they're attractive, they're all ugly. Scandinavians are potato-faced troglodytes (myself included), who are on par with the likes of the Irish and the Scottish. The average Scandinavian man looks like Benny Andersson from Abba. Every time I hear Americans calling Scandinavians attractive, I cringe because I know that they've fallen for the Scandi government psyop.
If you actually visit Scandinavia, you will know that they are ugly. Additionally, their culture is riddled with reprobates. It's not uncommon for Danish children to start drinking at the age of 13, and I imagine the rates of childhood alcoholism are some of the highest in the world (except for Eastern Europe). I want to kill myself every time I'm visiting and I'm forced to hang out with my cousins, because they are all alcoholic, drug-addicted wastrels. Despite the fact that I have grown up in far less fortunate circumstances, they have done almost nothing with their lives when compared to me. To top things off, they have this smug superiority complex that leads them to believe they're superior to literally everyone on earth. If you are not Danish, they will look down on you. If you are not Swedish, they will look down on you. I have literally seen, with my own two eyes, a Swede who almost certainly lies on the left side of the bell curve try to claim that he was smarter than an American Harvard grad, simply by merit of him being Swedish (while drunk, of course).
One thing you don't appreciate if you haven't been around Scandinanvians is that they constantly compare themselves to other countries to make themselves feel better. It's like if I spent a significant portion of my time talking about how much better America was than Brazil. I don't do that because that would be obvious, arrogant and pathetic. My whole life, I have resisted being taught Danish and Swedish, because I do not want to interact with these people on their terms. They will speak MY language. You have all been lied to by the cartel of Scandinavian government PR.
P.S. Finns are okay though. Norwegians are also probably like Swedes and Danes, but I don't know them well enough to speak with authority.
No. 1944509
>>1944478im actually disabled and everytime i hear munchiefags crying about their "spoons" for their nonexistent illness like POTs or some other dumb shit just makes me want to murder them. you're born in a perfectly healthy body and you wanna run around pretending like you're
actually suffering just so you can get attention and abuse the SSDI system? anyone who does this deserves to be drowned publicly.
No. 1944580
File: 1711887249399.jpg (224.31 KB, 2048x1539, 110090623_152828853086322_4788…)
i hate my fucking neighbour so much and i hate how public/social housing works in my city.
i used to be friends with my bpdchan neighbour because i was a naive fucking idiot who thought i could help her through her problems, turns out she's an utterly useless human being so after she blamed me for her losing her kids because i had to pick up after she drunkenly neglected her two sons who are under the age of 10 and i had to look after them for like 5 hours until their grandmother picked them up, i completely cut her off.
it's 11pm on a sunday night right now, my partner has work tomorrow and there were fucking cops roaming up my driveway with flashlights, fucking spamming my doorbell half an hour ago (i don't fucking answer the door after 9pm) because they're looking for her. I want her to die. I genuinely wish for her death every fucking day.
We have public/social/low-income housing spread out into suburbs so that the tenants can 'integrate' into society, she's been given a 3-bedroom house in the suburbs because she has two young kids, those fucking kids haven't even lived with her for any amount of time since she moved in because she keeps having them taken away because her retarded ass won't stop fucking drinking and smoking weed.
according to the housing department, she could get evicted for disturbing people because if she interferes with 'the quiet living of her neighbours' then that's grounds for eviction.
Except it's not that easy! because social housing tenants have housing caseworkers who don't want to go through the effort of finding new accommodation for these retards once they've settled somewhere because a homeless client is a million times more difficult to manage, and the caseworkers will fight tooth and nail with 'muh heckin fuckin homelesserino!!!' advocacy groups to keep them housed.
the best advice you'll get in these situations is being told to fucking move. and it's so stupid. why are you housing these disruptive retards and then making it other people's problems? there's probably a single mother out there on the public housing waiting list who actually has consistent custody of her kids waiting for a home and they're giving houses to retarded irresponsible slobs like my neighbour who realistically should be kept in one of the run-down public apartment blocks.
I'm not trying to insinuate that she should be homeless, I just want her to be housed elsewhere so she can fuck off and they can give her house to a more deserving family.
No. 1944588
>>1944490no but you are spot on kek. i moved from finland to norway as a child and my family eventually moved back. i want to move back too because i prefer finnish culture, but all of my friends are here, the salary is way higher and my norwegian skills are far more superior to my finish skills. norwegians are way more introverted than danes and swedes, being equal and not feeling like you're better than anyone is a huge part of the culture. literally the opposite of american culture. i kind of like it tho because it makes a lot of people humble and chill. it's a great country to work in because worker’s unions are huge here and because the equality principle is so big lots of people have an inherent dislike for über rich ppl (who don't contribute to society and try to avoid taxes).
norwegians def have an inferiority complex and constantly compare themselves to the rest of the world. it's very pitiful because danes and swedes have made a way bigger impact when it comes to culture and what people from those countries have achieved abroad kek. i avoid reading the news because nothing ever happens here and because they are ridiculously sympathetic to moids for some reason. lately there has been a big debate about how hard it is for moids to get gfs and how they fall behind in society, it's infuriating. i also hate that people here complain a lot, in finnish culture you have a more 'suck it up' kind of attitude whereas here people whinge and whine for the tiniest of things. very big
victim culture. however, this may vary a bit from district to district as the different parts of norway have kind of different local identities.
No. 1944669
>>1944652A childhood friend of mine "came out" as NB at 30 and after they married a guy that trooned out, and an older coworker's SIL that came out as NB immediately started using it as an excuse to act like an NLOG and make fun of all the "boring straights" in their family
In my opinion this is like the millenial life-crisis equivalent of boomers buying a motorcycle or a boat. Just a bunch of unhappy people trying to get back the feelings they used to have in middle/highschool before adulting wore them down
No. 1944831
>>1944481They are not meant to live to adulthood, you're supposed to boil the cocoons. But also is the mouthpart part even true ? Because what I was taught is different, I got told that the reason they are boiled is because the silk moth will open the cocoon using a sort of corrosive (is that the word ?) saliva that will damage the thread. A lot of wild moth species also have no mouths and live using stored energy from before metamorphosis, they breed and then die. The pairing part, also sounds a bit overdramatized, I'm pretty sure normally a female moth will emit pheromones and the male will smell them and then they mate and that's it.
But yes this is why "peaceful" silk where the moths are not killed is not actually better. Not to mention if someone was not careful and too many moths bred there would be pest problems I think. Don't believe in this person's moralizing speech, at the end of the day, she makes a hobby of making moths suffer. People who are obsessed with exotic pets are all crazy people who act holier-than-thou to overcompensate, anyway.
>>1944797What I hate in the islamophobia debate is how little space there is for people with common sense who dislike religion to talk. Because you will instantly be lumped in with the rightoids who think race = religion, who are likely the reason islamophobia started being seen the same as racism in the first place and hate on non-muslim MENA women more than they do white muslim converts.
>>1944827Your friend needs to stop tipping her lolcows kek
No. 1944917
I haven't dated in 2 years due to first going through a rough time health-wise and now wanting to build my self esteem up again, and I feel so lonely because it's also severely distanced me within my female friendships. We're in/approaching our late 20s, so I get that a shift in priorities happens around this time, but half of them barely have a social life outside of their relationships, the other half are still extremely fixated on dating – as in, they just see and fuck different guys every single day and admit to having no passions of their own, so it's still ALL they talk about.
The main thing that gets to me is how much effort I see them put into shitty men (and I mean spending hours coaxing guys who do things like take creepshots and hit on 19-20 year old girls in their 30s, mentally ill bpdfags, literally awful people) in comparison to friendships. I've given one of these friends hours upon hours of dating advice, and she's left me on read or one worded me both times I've started to bring up feeling severely depressed myself. It's either things like that or noticing they're turning into pickmes (talking to me about competing with other girls for a specific guy, then also keeping the theme in our conversations and weirdly bragging/hyping themselves up while throwing in subtle put-downs at me).
I already do feel sad about not being on the dating scene right now, even though I know my confidence lately is too low for that to end well for me, but I feel even worse because it's starting to feel like that's the only thing life is about. I know I should make new friends anyway, it's just sad to watch all my previous friendships fall apart over this too because they just don't care about anything besides men anymore.
No. 1945033
File: 1711910545625.jpeg (43 KB, 600x330, IMG_8535.jpeg)
my medication journey is killing my body slowly and I don't know what to do.
>lamotrigane struck me with accursed reaction after working fine for two months, ended up in ER
>abilify was so hyperaroused I didn't sleep for a solid month and akithisia made me feel like I was going to have a heart attack 24/7
>caplyta started off fine the first week and a half then now my kidney and stomach is groaning at me, can't sleep more than a few hours at a time
over the last few days I've had multiple wailing crying attacks from the stress. psych recently added busprione to taper down the anxiety. I'm starting to feel like I'm treatment resistant or some shit. It hurts. It hurts so much.
No. 1945130
File: 1711913714141.jpg (129.31 KB, 840x1179, frenchpastries.jpg)
>>1945104Just eat some french pastries… better now?
No. 1945161
File: 1711914644270.jpg (63.87 KB, 563x567, c435de49d9e290c10bdf6caf96606a…)
>>1944508I feel you
nonnie. I got hit with this sudden sense of dread and emptiness this morning.
I am convinced I will never be happy regardless of my circumstances in life. I have no idea what I'm even doing anymore and I have a hard time settling down. I've been reading up on stoicism (which is kind of moid-ey, I know) and it's helped a little bit but I always end up drifting back to these feelings of emptiness. It's frustrating because I do all the things I'm supposed to do (eat right, exercise, sunshine, I'm also on medication for bipolar 2) but I still can't seem to be satisfied. If I didn't have to depend on a job for health insurance for my medication I would just drift around, being able to come and go wherever I want sounds like heaven.
No. 1945167
>>1945118SSRIs have made my mania worse and other mood stabilizers besides lamo require extensive blood testing, which I'm not a fan of. I'm trying to ride out the effects of this to see if it works and wanting to stay on because it's the least painful of the three. If I could've stayed on lamotrigane, I would've, it was the one that in the past worked for me. The problem is once you have anything resembling an allergic reaction you can't be on it.
>>1945144I actively refute SSRIs as a treatment option. do objectively feel better when you omit side effects. It dismantled my entire life to live with unmedicated bipolar for two years. I lost my job and pretty much all my friendships to this horrible disease and the decisions I made under it. As evil as big pharma is I actually had some success in the past on psych drugs that did work for me but my body chemistry changed in the time I was off medication. It happens. Problem is that you have no idea how youre going to react to anything. Plus being bpd, adhd and an autist on top of bipolar my brain is effectively swiss cheese
If I end up treatment resistant it is what it is. I need to find a local DBT group or something. Im so fucking tired of what this has done to me
No. 1945297
I just want to die. I won't do it, I'm too scared, and I'm sorry if it's too much for lolcow vent thread but that's it. My mental illness has made me so stupid, unlikeable, lazy, I can't hide it from anyone any more, I'm sick of making excuses, I'm sick of myself and the life situation I've gotten into, I wish something would kill me. And I don't even have it that bad, there are good moments, just a lower-middle class wagie etc. But I cannot cope.
No. 1945380
File: 1711923479093.jpeg (20.13 KB, 302x225, 1648764192773.jpeg)
I'm so fucking upset. A few months ago I pulled away from my close friend turned fwb because I realised I have strong feelings for them and I didn't want to get hurt. I realised that I miss them too much so I have been speaking to them again and confessed my feelings. turns out they also had feelings for me but thought I didn't feel the same. anyway now nothing can happen because they said they are kind of on the precipice of seeing someone. they said that me telling them that I had/have feelings for them has brought up a lot of emotions for them and they need some space to process. I fucking hate myself I want to die why do I ruin everything
No. 1945493
File: 1711929056323.webp (16.74 KB, 600x400, 1000016879.jpg)
I'm fucking going insane, I can't draw without my earphones in my ears, but my Bluetooth earphones' charger fucking disappeared for some reason and the adapters for my headphones, for both of my fucking phones btw, also disappeared and I want to die because I've been wanting to draw and write but I just can't without some retarded random background music. I also hate to do anything with my computer in front of me when I'm not like, using it, as in I need to be doing something that isn't just listening to music to justify turning it on.
So now I will have to admit defeat and buy either an adapter or new Bluetooth earphones because my charger and my adapters fucked off somewhere for some reason.
Like how the fuck did that even happen? I still don't get it, I've checked all of my bags and purses, all of my pencil cases and tiny bags too, just where the fuck are they? This is literally the first time in my whole 28 years of life that I've lost something like this.
No. 1945530
File: 1711931308569.jpg (968.88 KB, 4080x2663, if3ldk2w2j841.jpg)
How do you cope with still being in love with someone who has chosen people they hate over you? I feel this deep level of humiliation from my soul ever since my ex broke up with me. I'm a mess even a year plus on. Especially because he kept saying it was him, I was amazing and special and he loved our relationship, but that he had too much anxiety for a "real relationship" and had to end things. This is painful enough on it's own but what I've heard from others is that he's now spending time with people he told me he hated. He has a savior complex and an intense desire to fix people so he doesn't have to deal with his own problems and now it seems his entire social circle are people who he doesn't like but use him because he's such a doormat. He'll drop everything if one of them asks for help and then complain about them afterwards when he could've said no. I know he's been doing favors for someone he went on a rant about how much he hated them to me. Some girl he was coworkers with seemed to read his people pleasing wrong and think he was in love with her and is now as obsessed as I am. I think she might be entering back into his life and all I think about how unfair it is. How painful it is to be told you make him extremely happy but he still doesn't want to be with you, and then purposefully chooses to give his all to people he doesn't like. It feels like when scrotes cheat on their wives with the nastiest types of women just to humiliate them. It's not like I was a perfectly well adjusted person and it was foreign to him. In reality I have a much worse sob story than most of the people he's prioritizing but because I actually take agency over my mental health and would reciprocate his kindness he couldn't handle that. I hate him so much for what he's done to me and how he's obliterated my self esteem. He came into my life rescuing me at truly the most vulnerable I've ever been and then discarded me like I was nothing for people he doesn't care for. I can't stop ruminating over this and it's taken over my life the past year. I want to be normal again but the steps I've tried to take to move on have all fallen through as well. I'll keep trying but it gets disheartening when I can't seem to get anything right AND I'm always told it's not fault of my own. Why do people pleasers do this? Why do they ALWAYS invest more time into the people they hate instead of the ones that care about them?
No. 1945593
File: 1711936337587.gif (152.66 KB, 220x145, ramen-noodles.gif)
I went to a new ramen place pretty far from my house today. I got sat in a nice private booth with curtains. It was cozy. Maybe 10 mins after I got sat, some woman with two loud kids sits directly in front of me in the other booth. They are extremely noisy and just got there. I make my ramen order and try to ignore them.
While waiting for my food, I hear her asking the kids what they want to watch. She puts on a show or program on her phone and I see it through the veil of the curtain. I sat there for 5 mins before raising my voice "Do you have headphones or no for that?" I just got so frustrated. I just wanted to eat in peace.
She turned the phone off. I guess she didn't expect someone to say something? I just hate people who want to watch things on their phone loudly in public. Stay home.
My ramen was delicious at least.
No. 1945595
File: 1711936462640.gif (3.25 MB, 498x498, 0567.gif)
Not necessarly something emotional but looking back to it weirds me out.
I'm pretty sure my ex used lolcow somehow, or maybe he just browsed it.
I knew about the existence of it before him but i wasn't really interested in the contents until i saw other threads, that happened later on so i didn't really know much about it and i never really asked how he knew it or what he knew.
I think he was into actual cows and had something for a certain type of femcel girls, which i really wasn't even though he would try to push that idea.
I don't know if i regret not asking it but i find it stupid that he would mention this site to me since it's supposed to be a girl only place, not like he ever gave creep vibes, i think that he thought i used it but i would always brush it away since i thought people knew it just as much as 4chan back then.
I always had issues with moids but even if this hurted me back then now i think it's funny that he would often accuse me of being a lesbian that didn't love him enough, anyway i've been trying to get better with life and i don't really want to deal with men or romance anymore, i'm just not someone that wants to be involved in that in the end and moids can't have friendships with women and i'm too insecure to be in a relationship with another woman but life is much more than that.
No. 1945606
File: 1711937194174.jpg (68.53 KB, 563x399, eb796da589ec2efcaae2837b203544…)
Anyone feeling like anime in the last 3-4 years has only become gimmicky shit? It all started with isekai and I get it, I get the appeal of SAO even if I don't like it and I think it's lazy, but right now around 80% of anime circles around a single gimmick and then it gets so boring it's sad. I used to like Komi san because at the beginning it was cute but the author could wrap it up at the 10ish volume and it's still going! The one about the bitch with big tits, Uzaki, Nagatoro, Takagi san, Mashle etc… their concept is good for a very short serie and yet, they're the most popular around. I get it, I can't have all 2deep4me anime but all I ask is to have a decent story and not the story that's build around a single, short gimmick that gets boring after 3 eps. I'm not new to anime and I consumed my shit but I also remember when there were "Lucky Star gets good after 4 episodes" memes around because the first 4 episodes are shitty but if it came out today, modern weebs would eat that shit up. I know I shouldn't care about anime that much, I'm an adult with a big girl job and big girl responsabilities but goddamn, seeing one of my favourite medias getting ridden with shitty products and other manga getting little to no adaptation makes me sad, back in the day more stories had anime adapts and that's what I miss, the variety. Right now if I search up "Reincarnated as", at least 5-10 manga/novels get in the results with the same shitty gimmick, it was good for a couple of things but now please stop. Good thing that my favourite manga got an anime in the early 2000s because it would be fucked if it came out right now. I don't like books unless they're manuals because I want my entertainment to be a full experience, I don't like many irl shows because sometimes I cringe at the acting and I don't like stuff like podcasts because again, full experiences. Anime and cartoons were my favourite media but western cartoons became wokey and gendie shit (ex. Owl House) and Anime has become boring as fuck because the japanese have shit taste and that's what sells because they still believe that they have a chance with their perfect waifus so right now only that shit gets adapted so they can self insert…boring. I bet that if there were women deciding what to adapt and what to leave out the animation market, a lot of shit would get pulled from the studios in favour of more deserving manga (Witch Hat Atelier when? sigh) or more comfy shit like Aria.
No. 1945634
File: 1711939419097.jpg (70.02 KB, 1024x1280, oogolkuetqyb1.jpg)
idk why but recently i keep fantasizing about men getting tortured and murdered and its kinda arousing. im also browsing the "male ryona" tag on pixiv a lot..
No. 1945807
File: 1711971453567.jpg (120.4 KB, 800x540, 1671134240380.jpg)
Porn on front page. Bumping with image. Typical moids.
No. 1945824
File: 1711972966767.jpg (104.79 KB, 1080x1044, hypothetically.jpg)
Why can't my neighbor find a hobby that doesn't involve a power drill? He can't just finish a project in a week or so, he always drills just enough to wake everyone up for a few months every morning.
No. 1945833
File: 1711973757334.gif (24.51 KB, 220x314, sweet birthday wishes.gif)
>>1945815i know it's no enough or the same, but i wish you a happy birthday from us nonnies !
my vent which is also mom related i initially came here to post is (spoiling to not take away from your vent and my wishes):
she doesn't give a fuck that i'm harassed by moids which is why i stopped going to my FREE public state uni/faculty. i already know she doesn't believe in me in the first place. i know she thinks i'm worthless and she only likes me because i keep he company and she reels in the fact that without her i'm crippled. i know nothing i do matters because i will never compare to my brother to her. i just hurts to know that she couldn' give less of a fuck about my safety either. i already know i'm aimless and not doing anything worthwhile like my peers, but at least i'm doing my work remotely. she's never encouraged me academically except through beating me as a child and then she didn't care anymore once i was in middle school. guess i's because she's illiterate and has internalized misogyny so she can't see the worth in in it but i don't think that's quite it. the truth is that it's an excuse to poke at me for, beating me hen (and now sill sometimes) and berating me now. it hurts because i love her a lot and it's clear that i don't matter to her even remotely as much No. 1945837
File: 1711974239720.gif (21.81 KB, 340x270, 1711378503950.gif)
>>1945815Happy Birthday, sweet
nonnie! Have an awesome day.
No. 1945865
File: 1711976503505.jpg (47.36 KB, 564x738, disappoint.jpg)
>>1944468My birthday is in four hours and I'm dreading it so much. It's not that I'm afraid of growing older, it's just that I hate the fact that my family and people around me don't give a fuck about it. I always make the effort of getting birthday cakes, gifts and plan a small birthday party or birthday dinner for all of my family members' birthday but somehow they never do it for me. If they did bother to celebrate my birthday it will be lackluster and I can tell they're just doing it for the sake of getting it over with fast. It sucks so bad knowing that I'm not loved as much as everyone else in the family. I think only my sister cares about my birthday because she's the only one who gives me birthday gifts every year. I actually prefer celebrating my birthdays alone because then I won't be disappointed. Yesterday I told my family members that a small birthday cake would be enough for me but apparently just now they only bought like four slices of cake to share. There wasn't even any candles for me to blow. I guess it was partly my fault for saying that if there's no small cake, even a slice of cake would do; but it still stings to know that my family members don't even bother to make an effort to find a proper birthday cake for me. God I hate my birthday so much! Thank God I'm a genius and ordered a proper birthday cake for myself in advance with a cute picture of my husbando to eat tomorrow. I don't even feel like sharing the cake with them anymore. Fuck them all! No one loves me so I will love myself instead. Hah!
No. 1945962
>>1945867Thanks anon! Yea, in the future I'll just get everyone a single cake slice and be done with it.
>>1945911Thanks very much anon! Can't wait to eat my vanilla and hazelnut ganache husbando cake. Unfortunately, I can't tell you who's my husbando because he's super duper cringe kek!
No. 1945981
>>1945781None of these adults should have kids if they can't keep them entertained for 20-30 mins during a meal. I remember having crayons and paper when I went outside if I got bored, but other than that? Just play with my imagination.
Yeah, she said something along the lines of 'oh, they just needed to see this thing.' before turning it off. Like I said, I played out for at least 5 mins before i even chimed in, so what the hell were they even watching that was so important? Ipad moms are the worst. If we survived in the 80s, 90s and early 2000s without ipads, so can your dumb kids.
No. 1945984
>>1945815Happy birthday, nonna!
>>1945850I'm going to tell you right now as someone who is 35+. Yours 20s are a stepping stone, but you can still make a new fresh start in your 30s. Please dont act like your 30s means it's all over. You can still career switch, go back to school, get a degree online, etc. People even do this in their 40s and sometimes 50s. You'll be fine
No. 1946082
>>1946042People say so.
Maybe I'm just too intimidating or seem unapproachable.
No. 1946111
File: 1711991050655.jpeg (90.2 KB, 355x513, IMG_5206.jpeg)
>>1944468i have to go back home today and i’m bawling my eyes out. it feels so unfair. each time i leave my boyfriend it hurts even more than the last time but hes in uni and living at home and im doing online uni at home. i get so lonely because i dont have friends but i have some hobbies and side jobs but its not the same. i feel so alone. myself, mostly content, but very broken. long distance is hard. he handles it so well. he is a great person. i wish i could be around him always but its impossible. he cant move with me and i cant move with him right now. then when we graduate we will have to try to save up to move together but how the hell will we visit each other with full time jobs? maybe if we go to graduate school. i just wish it was easier. it feels so rotten and unfair and it makes me bawl my eyes out. i love him so much. it has been two years already but i think we can hold on for another few years.
No. 1946227
>>1946194sorry
nonny but people with shopping addictions, like any other addiction, don't want people to reason with them. they want enablers and fellow addicts who hype up their overconsumption
No. 1946284
>>1946273thanks
nonny. i want to be a paramedic so i can work with (hopefully unsuccessful) suicide attempts and be there when people wake up. show them that someone cares enough. hope you have a good day, thank you for your kindness
No. 1946396
>>1946356Yeah, I came from a religious Muslim family and attended Catholic schools my whole life(kek, what a combo), but even from a young age I never liked religion and knew there was something off about it. I also was sort of into the whole lgbt stuff because I'm gay, but always knew there was something off about trannies and gendies with their over the top genders like fucking, bananagender or whatever. I didn't see why I had to be in a 'community' with them.
So it's funny seeing my friend go from one extreme to another. Guess she was repressed and needed to rebel? Or maybe it was the social contagion. It just seems like they don't think for themselves and go along with whatever is trending and because they don't wanna be seen as some evil nazi who's gonna get cancelled all over Twitter.
No. 1946450
File: 1712002662083.jpg (41.11 KB, 735x678, e71dff1e626eb140b4bfae016c6518…)
Nonnies I dont really know what to do, I think being bullied when i was a kid/teenager fucked me up in the head, its impossible for me to form connections with people. I just recently got a job and I thought this might be a good opportunity to meet some people, but its impossible. Im unable to have a conversation that is longer than 5 minutes and when I do its exhausting. I'm fine being in silence and not talking with anybody, and that is what I have always been doing, but two years ago I told myself I would make an effort to make conversations with people so I could possibly have more friends but it just has not been working. So I wonder if its really worth it? I exhaust myself having conversations I would rather not have at all just for some results that simply arent being fulfilled. What is the point? I have made all kind of small talk with my coworkers, where are they from, what are they studying, how long have they been working and how are they enjoying it, but nothing. I have seen videos on how to improve conversation skills, have read articles, have gone to therapy for four years to get over my social anxiety. nothing. Yesterday a new girl came into my job and it was so humilliating to see how she got along with everyone so much better than me that I have been here longer. I'm not trying to criticize her but it just makes me feel like I'm worthless. I have no friends to go out with, I rot in my house all day while people outside are enjoying going out and it just makes me so suicidal, I have struggled with this for so long and it just doesnt seem to get better, both my social skills and my suicidal thoughts.
Nonnies I'm sorry if this reads so awkward, I wrote this after spending the whole day crying in bed, so my brain is not really focused right now
No. 1946508
File: 1712004511105.jpg (10.77 KB, 552x480, 1000023448.jpg)
>>1946305aw nonna what, you really warmed my heart here. i'll do just that. thank you very much for taking time to read and reply to my little ramble. the road is hard, but it's not impossible! cheers!
No. 1946513
>>1946410He's always been fat and that hobo beard does nothing for him.
He looks old cause he is.
No. 1946585
File: 1712008961014.png (450.26 KB, 585x548, Screenshot 2024-04-01 172629.p…)
this is dumb lol but i went on queering the map out of curiosity and didn't expect to be so sad, the messages from SSA women in less 'progressive' countries like the middle east, asia, india etc really broke my heart. i live in north america and even though my parents are immigrants they have more of a progressive mindset towards SSA so i've never struggled personally with my sexuality and coming out so to see women and girls reminisce on past relationships they'll never get to continue or how they'll never get to safely express their love for another woman fucking shattered me. i was on the site clicking on random points crying for close to an hour. picrel says "i wish i could love you in a next life" and it made me ugly sob (i'm even tearing up just typing it out). i hope all these women can be safe and happy in the near future.
No. 1946600
File: 1712009986562.jpeg (154.91 KB, 500x618, IMG_1917.jpeg)
I literally just spelled my name out to you how did you manage to still fuck it up I am so tired of people hearing my name and just spelling it however they want when I go out of my way to spell it out for them don’t get mad when I ignore a name over the intercom and on a screen that is spelled completely different from mine and isn’t even close to what my name sounds like when you could have just listened to me in the first place instead of just checking out and doing whatever you want instead of your job giving me the “uh huh”s as I’m spelling it out stupid fuck imagine being so retarded with a head full of diarrhea that you do shit like hear a name like Rochelle or something and call out Rodney I swear moids are so fucking stupid and I’m glad you feel embarrassed for fucking up so hard and having everyone stare at you for being such a retard
No. 1946640
>>1946629You and I will meet countless times in the astral plane, far removed from the worldly pains. We have been alive before and you were the hummingbird suckling the sweet nectar of my being, the flower that never wilts. Separation is a mere illusion, like the difference between noise and music, and we are liberated from the worldly pains of observation. I see you across the endless plains of poppies and hydrangeas and we will rejoice in the power of our Creator and I will assist you. When they stare at you nona, remember that there is no pit so deep that the love of our Lord is not deeper still, and remain steadfast in your faith of our Lord, Jah. The Lord is so great, that the very sign of a problem necessitates that there is a solution. These people that stare, they drown in their judgement and their sinfulness, and we are the better for it: we've chosen the way of grace, and there is no end for us.
No. 1946671
File: 1712014283834.jpeg (152 KB, 750x706, IMG_7442.jpeg)
I wish I could stop being depressed. I hate being so unmotivated too. I’d do anything to get back my insane motivation to draw and socialize that I had as a teen. I just want to be able to function goddammit.
No. 1946713
i miss my mom so much. i keep waking up in the middle of the night praying that everything that has happened these past few months has been one long, terrible nightmare and that i am going to see her walking to the bathroom or sitting in her office chair doing her makeup. i've been back home helping my grandpa with my mother's estate and sorting through her papers, and all i want is to hear her call my name again, touch her, hug her one more time. i want to walk into her room and instead of seeing a pile of her clothes on the bed, see her laying there watching tv on her ipad or taking a midday snooze. i wish she had never died. i wish i could have saved her life. i keep thinking about all the little signs that something was wrong before everything went downhill and i regret not telling her to go to the doctor sooner. but her doctor also told me that by the time she started showing signs of advanced cancer (fatigue, weakness), she was already terminal. so my mom was dying back in november/december when i first noticed that she wasn't her usual self. i just picked her casket and the flowers for her funeral, and now i will pick the clothes she will be buried in, the necklace i bought by accident that she ended up loving. i've also already picked a message for her gravestone, and i'll be writing a memorial for her. i asked also to see her privately before the funeral service, just so i can apologize and cry and tell her i love her without feeling like i am putting on a spectacle for other people.
No. 1946720
File: 1712016452535.jpg (7.89 KB, 225x225, images-1.jpg)
>>1946713I felt this. I hope you feel better soon
No. 1946881
>>1945818ya rly
nonnie. Moeshit got big the moment lucky star aired (around 2007ish). I can't think of any early 2010s anime I liked.
No. 1946899
>>1946886Same nona. Im working really hard to transition out of being chronically online and I have made some irl friends and some of them are so normie and boring. It's infinitely better than interacting with the 4chan moids that comprised my social circle back in the day (sad) kek.
>>1946893The way I see it if they won't communicate with me via text message than they aren't worth exerting energy on. Oh you just want to add me on snapchat to send me pictures of your eyeball to increase your snap score? Bitch byeeeeee
No. 1946927
>>1946828Me too, i've never liked a single picture of me except from my childhood ones because at least i was a cute child. I know you don't need a social media prescence to make friends, but when you are autistic or non-normie, i feel like you don't have much avenues for socialisation to begin with, so it's like i've closed a door to help myself from not being a friendless loner.
>>1946864Unironically, it was getting burned by moids. She uses the misogynistic ideology to help herself cope with being highly insecure and not conventionally attractive enough for the moids she likes. But at this point she is mostly doing this for money, there are a decent amount of men who will marry her and probably think she's clever.
No. 1946928
>>1946917So sorry for your loss,
nonnie.
No. 1947153
>>1945818moeshit was a painful stab,but isekai was the final nail in the coffin
I miss 90s anime and early/mid 2000s, so much fucking soul even if the bug eyes artstyle was dumb
No. 1947332
File: 1712066598512.png (25.64 KB, 642x705, feelsguy.png)
I just can't find the positives anymore nonnies. I can't tell if I'm hating everyone because I'm in a bad place or I'm in a bad place because I don't actually like any of my few friends. I broke with my best friend half a year ago and I'm glad I did, it's just so hard to make friends after that. I like talking to people but there's always such a disconnect, even people I've known for years, I just don't trust them. I'm not going to be open with them because all they ever do is talk shit. I hate being this shitty, negative person, it drives people away (understandably) but I just can't be fucked to act nice anymore. I haven't been able to be myself with anyone the past while and it's eating me from the inside out. I'm a shell of a person.
No. 1947361
>>1947332>I broke with my best friend half a year ago and I'm glad I did, it's just so hard to make friends after that. I like talking to people but there's always such a disconnect, even people I've known for years, I just don't trust them. I understand how you feel
nonny, it feels like after some point it's just harder and harder to make new friends, but you do deserve better friends who understand you. I am in a similar position (breaking up with a very important friend) and it takes a while but eventually we'll find people who love us and we love them back again. I'm not really close with the people who I befriended in school anymore, I feel like a shell of a person too. But we must go on. When you're ready you can socialize again.
No. 1947365
>>1947001I support you fiona apple nonna who posted on the wrong thread.
>>1947344Holy shit , good riddance nonna. I know you might not feel this now, but you'll feel so much better soon. Being around a person like this would drain any energy and happiness you have in you. Soon youll feel relieved.
No. 1947384
So, my ex and I broke up 4 days ago and I felt like looking at our old messages on OkCupid to see what really happened between us. In the midst of going on the site and logging back in, I see the green dot next to his profile photo. I take a screenshot of some of our early messages, unmatch with him, and bookmark his profile so I could come back to it. In my head, I'm hoping he only came back on to do the same, as it turns out, he's still online and that concludes to me he's going straight to swiping. That's his way to move on and I accept it, I don't see any chance getting back with him because of how deceitful he was in our relationship.
I looked through his answered questions and two that really stood out to me that I ended up internalizing and expecting from him was how he shows he cares for someone (physical touch) and if he was ready to settle down and get married right now (absolutely).
Within a few months of us being together, he freaked out over me bringing up how I'm doing my part in saving up to have a child in 2½ years and wondering hopefully I'll meet my financial goal in that time. His response to all this was, "You're expecting me to marry you when I have debts the take care of first. Having a child takes time, it might take years to actually be ready. Let's take it a day at a time and just enjoy our time together for now." Along with that, over time, I felt like I was the only one initiating hand holding, cuddling, and hugs. I felt so lonely and unloved, when I brought up my concerns of us having some distance, he asked "What do you want me to do?" And I responded I'd like more closeness and affection. Overall, he made me feel like expecting him to be more touchy with me was unrealistic, because he can't read my mind. In my head, it's how someone expresses they care about someone they love, and from his OKC profile, he confirmed that's exactly how he believes it to be too.
Is it unreasonable to hold him accountable over those things he said on his profile? Because he consciously answered those questions and many women, like myself, will take note of those things, whether he sees them as small details or not, they do matter when it comes to consistency. He's going around dating sites with this fantasy image he projects of himself instead of his truth, where those two details (not even including the sex related details that were inconsistent with our real life relationship), that only leads to more heartbreak. I'm more concerned for the next woman my ex ends up with hoping to have a relationship with a man who's ready to actually settle down and get married and be physically affectionate, because he is not going to be that person despite his dating profile stating he is absolutely those two things.
I want to reach out to my ex to let him know he will repeat this never-ending cycle of having 3-4 month short term relationships if he keeps those answered questions of (absolutely wanting to settle down and get married right now) and (he shows he cares for someone by physical touch) unchanged because the next person he will be with will expect the same things I did. Should I reach out for the sake of the next woman or honestly let it go and let another woman experience heartbreak from him?
No. 1947493
>>1947384The harder pill to swallow is that perhaps he just didn't want to get married and have a kid with you, anon. Men are always hunting for their "best" option and know fairly quickly into the relationship if you are a person that they are going to take seriously, or just a person that they are gonna have fun with and take advantage of.
When a man doesn’t agree with and critiques your plans, believe him.
No. 1947509
>>1947384How old are you two? I'm in my late 20s and ready to settle down, but if someone I had only been with for three months said they want to have children with me in the near future I'd also freak out and leave them. Being on the same page about wanting children is important, but talking about the specific timeframe you're planning to have them is too much when you're still only getting to know each other.
Unless your biological clock is ticking, settling down and getting married doesn't mean wanting to have kids within the next couple of years. Especially not if there are debts to take care of. There's no point in seriously thinking about starting a family before handling things like that, so what he said regarding that topic sounds completely reasonable imo.
All that aside, if he has a history of self sabotaging and leaving good relationships, it's his own issue. It's not like he's staying together with women for years on end only to blindside them once it actually gets serious. A few months is such a brief amount of time, whoever he breaks up with in the future won't mourn the breakup for long.
Just let it go. It's not your problem anymore.
No. 1947514
>>1946093Gosh anon! You're so sweet. I wish you will have an awesome birthday this year since you're so kind.
On another note, my birthday went sort of okay today. My narc mom almost ruined it though. First thing in the morning too! I can tell she doesn't want me to enjoy my birthday because she doesn't even wish me a happy birthday until the rest of the family did. Then she just had to make a hurtful comment to me saying I should be giving her presents on my birthday from now on because she gave birth to me. Funny thing is she has stopped giving me birthday presents since I turned 18. Plus, I don't even expect or want any presents from her so I don't know why she's being nasty to me. Not gonna lie, I almost gave up on enjoying my birthday today but later during the day my colleagues surprised me with a birthday cake at work and my long distance friends texted me happy birthday. Then when I got home from work, my husbando cake was delivered safely. I ate it all alone. It was delicious and my husbando looks amazing! Next time I'll definitely celebrate my birthday alone, or at least celebrate it away from home, far away from my family members. To all anons out there, I wish you all a very good birthday this year. Don't let other people ruin your birthday because celebrating your existence is important.
No. 1947556
File: 1712075454979.png (869.86 KB, 698x748, 0a1bc812-ac3b-4237-abee-f40e5c…)
There was a dead mouse in my shoe.
No. 1947599
File: 1712076457587.jpg (59.52 KB, 735x736, 20230627_021717.jpg)
I just lost my debit card for the probably twentieth time after buying gas and I want to bash my head against the concrete. Total mental breakdown because of my dumbass inattention and the realization that i have $40 in my account for the next two weeks
No. 1947604
File: 1712076564970.gif (2.18 MB, 350x218, goodbye-world_poohbear.gif)
>>1947583The way my soul would have instantly left my body.
No. 1947642
>>1947560I've had so much bad luck recently, I wonder if I'm cursed.
I'm legitimately thinking of buying an amulet or something, at least for a little piece of mind.
No. 1947676
>>1947509We're both in our 30s. The thing that confused me is the first week of us being together we were talking about our future goals and plan and how we imagined it could be, he was happy that he finally met someone who was focused on having future goals. We basically spent our first weeks comparing and contrasting how we'd work together and finding joy in how similar we thought. He asked me to be his girlfriend within 2 weeks of us meeting and we'd spend nearly all day together.
I felt completely blindsided that me bringing it up again a bit more seriously made him push back. Like, I was stressed if I'd be able to meet this financial goal in time. He told me he wanted to have 3-4 children so I said, well if we'd want to let that happen without much risk, I'd have to have my first child in my mid 30s. He brought up the idea of "maybe next year having a child could happen" when we first started talking.
You're definitely right though, it's not my problem anymore, he's gonna be someone else's problem, he wasn't physically
abusive so it's not an urgent issue, just psychologically, he's too used to overselling himself and disappointing others.
No. 1947679
>>1947666Kek, I had something similiar happen to me when I was a poor kid.
At least it seemed to work ad an immune boost, I rarely get sick. Silver lining.
No. 1947718
>>1947685The only ones i know who commited were jonghyun, sulli and hara….
Are those the ones you are thinking of?
No. 1947799
>>1947701In a vent post years later when I'm depressed and wondering if there's something about me that can see depression in other people and worrying about my actual friends because it even happens with celebrities who don't know me, yep. So many dumbass quotes.
>>1947784I'm not being literal.
No. 1947810
>>1947799Idols kill themselves because of reasons stated here:
>>1947770 >>1947775They are miserable. It's shocking there aren't more idols deaths in Korea right now.
>something about me that can see depression in other peopleI'm totally empathetic vibes.
No. 1947826
>>1947718>>1947703Sulli and Moonbin and I feel like the fans did make him kill himself though. He was overworked and nobody paid attention. I went to a big concert recently and a member looked at me and her eyes were dark, sad and depressed. I felt weirded out that she's the only member who interacted with me a few times and she looked like that, that's the first time I felt guilty
>>1947810I know that's a meme but their eyes really were nice and it's normal to gravitate to people with qualities or vibes you relate to especially because Kpop is so parasocial. That's what I mean as well, there should be more suicides but it's my favourites and Moonbin wasn't that famous. I feel like I do attract negative energy. I don't mean I caused it, that's retarded
No. 1947865
>>1947685Go join them
nonny, your comment is so tone deaf, you aren't the center of the universe
No. 1947881
File: 1712087466846.png (320.59 KB, 782x653, Screenshot 2024-04-02 154922.p…)
I bought a 16oz tub of this thinking it'd be lighter than their shea body butter tub without reading reviews, and it is this thick paste that does not easily absorb into skin. Now I'm stuck using this for the next few months.
No. 1947886
>>1947863Kpop is addicting because the parasocial aspect targets depressed and lonely people and even when you get a life the parasocialism has already done its work though. The only other people who were there for the deaths are stans and other idols, nobody else really cares, they parrot things to feel superior and shit like sis they didn't know you like it's revelatory
>>1947865I am tone deaf for 5 seconds in a vent post that isn't as literal as your autism is making you believe but you're not for saying go join them. I get your baggage with the choa girls, that's one thing but moralising your rabid Kpoppies seething is cringe
(kpop derailing) No. 1947918
>>1947900I promise things can get better
nonnie, things can change in an instant.
No. 1947928
>>1947919You're totally right,
nonnie. Also sending some positive vibes your way.
No. 1947929
>>1947926Adult theater kids are the
absolute fucking worst. Just die already, Robert Reed ass faggot.
No. 1947936
>>1947775It's their choice. Victimizing grown women and men is pathetic.
>>1947933This isn't the annoying empathic
victim thread.
(infight bait) No. 1947982
>>1947974Nah,
nonnie. No amount of money or good lucks makes up for having to deal with a moid that throws a tantrum whenever he’s denied sex. I guarantee you if you had sucked it up and gave him what he wanted, he would have just kept escalating his behavior.
No. 1947988
File: 1712092701090.jpg (27.87 KB, 400x550, moles.jpg)
I hate that I'm a mole person, similar to picrel. Every year I seem to get a few more moles on my head and I'n not even 30, when I'm lucky it's in my hair so I can use my nails to slowly scratch it off without anyone really seeing it… if I don't it hurts every time I accidentally touch it, like when brushing my hair. It hurts really bad! I can't get those surgically removed because it would require them to shave my hair in that spot, but scratching with my nails I can scratch only the mole without it taking any hair out. I need it to form a scab so I can scratch it open every day until it's flat and no longer hurts. So I just have a tiny open wound on my head for like 2 weeks at a time.
The ones on my neck or my face makes me cry even when they're tiny. Sometimes old ones seem to grow bigger too. I tried to have some removed with laser and it made me so happy to think they were gone for good… but they came back "because of too much sunlight" despite the fact that I wore sunscreen every day. I paid so much money for it too. And now they're back bigger because the whole laser area came back (they went over the lines a bit to make sure they got all of it). At least they stayed flatter this time, which is a little less gross than having gross brown bumps.
I had some checked out and they're "harmless". In fact the nurse who looked at them (wanted to see if it would be covered by health care) said they wouldn't remove them because "they're the same color as your skin". Bitch If I matched my foundation to my moles I would be in fucking blackface. It just sucks to have these ugly ass bumps grow all over your head and neck unpredictably. I wish the laser had worked.
No. 1948037
File: 1712094890304.jpg (72.9 KB, 622x702, 1676490497842.jpg)
I have been increasingly stressed out for a while now. Easter was a disaster, my relationship is stressful, my money situation is unstable at best. and today I finally snapped in the most embarrassing way. I was walking my dog when two retarded little kids tried to scare the dog or something, like we were crossing a street and they intentionally came in front of us and jumped towards the dog. I didn't think, I just screamed and swore at them to get the fuck out of my way. I instantly knew I overreacted, but I still think it was deserved, you shouldn't bother strangers in the street. One kid went away but one approached and I apologised to him, and told him to say that I was sorry to his friend. But that's what you get when you don't raise your kids to behave in traffic, someday they will encounter someone at the enf of their line like me. I have felt like shit the whole day, not just for that though. I literally feel my mental health degrading more and more everyday, I need to change my living situation etc but still lack the courage to do so.
No. 1948099
File: 1712098823475.jpg (41.15 KB, 640x651, 20240327_091518.jpg)
He doesn't even want to talk with me anymore nonnas.
It's fucking over
No. 1948113
File: 1712099608553.jpg (105.29 KB, 1234x1227, 1705795321918.jpg)
Had a dream that I was in a romantic relationship with one of my moid friends. I wouldn't date him IRL but he's handsome and nice and this reminds me that I'm going to die as a permavirgin
No. 1948142
>>1948132Your probaly right nonna but I'm in the hole now
>>1948134>How was your day?>You ok?I think this was a bad move I need to pivot
No. 1948295
>>1948222I don't mind it so much on LC because at least everyone is anonymous so when I see something retarded I use all my willpower to convince myself it's the same retard over and over again. On social media though, it's like you can find someone's entire life story and everyone they've ever known after you click on their profile from their retarded post about some stupid thing. It's like nobody can identify grifters anymore and everybody believes their grifts. I guess that's what pisses me off the most, like I never wanted to believe that there was so many stupid people in the world but unfortunately it seems like there is: I don't even think I'm that smart myself, I just know I'm smarter than people that reply to ragebait all day long and base their whole identity on what they read on Twitter or some shit.
>>1948236I miss forums really bad. Honestly I think LC is my favourite website on the internet. I used to come here just to read cow boards and stuff and I usually would use PULL, but once that shut down I started posting here a lot more and I really like the atmosphere. I think anonymity is really helpful in making people be less retarded somehow, or at least it helps me not judge retards as harshly.
>>1948248I don't think so nona. The only reason TikTok is getting banned is because there's Chinese people on it and the US government thinks China is #1 evil in the world. The US government likes Twitter and Facebook because those companies share all their user data with the government at any time. It's gonna get weirder and weirder when AI infiltrates more of Facebook. I haven't had FB since like 2014, never used Instagram, had TikTok for like a year during the pandemic before it got boring, and I stopped using Twitter a weeks after the Musk takeover. At this point I just can't stand using social media but I hate that so many of my peers are addicted to it and don't know how to read a book. I don't mean that in a dismissive way or to say like "oh if you don't read you're dumb haha!" but one of my old coworkers hadn't read a book in 10 years. I never ever want to be like that or willingly associate with people like that.
No. 1948361
File: 1712112298260.webp (12.9 KB, 320x288, oiup63g2xx2c1.webp)
>>1948169woman if you don't break up with him i will kill you both. i promise there are men out there who will prioritize you, this ugly discord daddy moid doesn't deserve e-pussy from two women let alone one. if you let it go on any longer it will genuinely become your fault. stop being a martyr for your own suffering! break up with his ass and preferably leak his misshapen dickpics to his server too
No. 1948371
>>1948361you’re talking to flavors of woman who pick up and date men on 4chan and think they would be healthy, viable, responsible boyfriends and partners and it always makes me laugh. some of them even let these moids from 4chan/discord impregnate them after a few years. i shiver a little whenever I see a pregnant anon here knowing she let a literal beast nut inside her, energetically attaching himself to her for eternity and she thinks its a good thing to celebrate and be happy about. you’re so right, anon knows that man isn’t shit but it’s the BPD/undiagnosed mental illness that makes her seek out these kinds of men but this isn’t the advice thread you should just sit back and relish on the
toxic cyclical patterns these anons engage in, it’s like a trainwreck you can’t look away from kek
No. 1948385
>>1948375i used to be exactly like that
nonnie too and it’s super nice you care about poor
nonnie cause i definitely did not have a friend or even stranger like you when i was letting my ass get stepped on and played around with a moid that looked like my butt cheeks when i sat too long wearing a pad during my period - ugly as fuck. it’s so obvious that dude is trying to have two women on rotation and it’s easier to do it when it’s online. i don’t know
nonnie but she deserves so much better
No. 1948524
File: 1712133284338.png (222.33 KB, 635x471, 1703704956455191.png)
I just got an email to come to a Performance Improvement Plan. Just fucking come out and say I'm fired, be decent
No. 1948553
File: 1712138352731.jpg (36.24 KB, 476x475, c32a5d672c619e5d9e1eb1f86b311c…)
my boyfriend is mad at me and withholds affection from me as a form of punishment, even when he's over it and he's calm again.
All because I made a small joke at the expense of the porn addiction he has that's basically ruined our relationship and he's been extremely deceptive about "doing better" and it wasn't even a nitpicky or mean joke. He didn't even communicate that he was mad and played it off like a joke until he snapped at me when I was leaving his room.
usually it makes me extremely anxious and I used to beg him to stop being mad at me because it's exactly how my parents treated me when I was younger knowing it would terrorize me.
tonight was the first time I haven't felt anxious. I refuse to react and let him have that power over me. I'm sick of being pathetic and retarded.
I think I'm genuinely starting to lose my feelings for him. I genuinely cannot comprehend withholding my love or affection even if I'm mad because I'm not an abusive controlling fucking freak. I'm genuinely starting to loathe and resent this shit and how stupid I was trying to be nice to him and love him when he doesn't deserve anything. fucking useless retard. I'm sick of being a victim because I'm nice and I love the wrong people. It's gonna be a real kick up his ass when I finally have the means to leave.
No. 1948567
>>1948553Hey nonnita. I'm in the same boat, but I have been for 13 years now. Don't fucking be like me.
I'm still with him because of poor life choices (money and i didn't realise how bad he was until we moved in together several years into the relationship) but I'm so hopeful you can get out. Listen to your gut. The way he's treating you is not right. The empathy gap is real. Now I'm a codependant mess who will probably have to go on blood pressure medicine.
No. 1948612
>>1948606Emotionally unavailable moids are the worst. Don't worry, you'll see you made the right choice when he doesn't even fight for you or offer to improve and just says "k"
You don't want that trash in your life
No. 1948644
File: 1712149646889.png (116.34 KB, 498x498, IMG_2085.png)
i think i failed chemistry again. there is no way I’m getting into grad school. I’m such a failure in everything. Academics was the only thing left and now i screwed that up too and the class drop period is over so I can’t drop it or anything. I wish I killed myself years ago, it’s just not getting better, it never will.
No. 1948651
>>1948585see this has already been brought up, because not only am I genuinely disgusted and disappointed in the fact that jerking off and porn seems to take priority over my entire wellbeing and existence, I've also watched my best friend's mental health get screwed into oblivion by her pornsick moid too. She is way more mentally vulnerable than me and it made me angry to the point where I used to rant and blow up about it all the time in front of him and he accused me of "bullying him"
which I was, I wasn't consciously trying to bully him, but fuck it. it wasn't nice of me, but it's also really not fucking nice to have my entire existence, wellbeing and self esteem getting destroyed to shit over "muh heckin giant futa horsecock hyper ass hyper breasts!!" coomer garbage. I have genuinely never hated myself more than I do now.
as far as I'm aware, he's viewing porn way less and all that but the damage is done. I don't care to snoop because this is very much in irreversible addict brain territory, I don't care anymore.
No. 1948653
>>1948644You just did yourself a favor if you were planning on going into academia.
Regardless, schools have become more accommodating towards students who want to make up their grade or retake a course, so you should figure out what your options are. If you can get a note from a counselor saying you're depressed or whatever then it could help.
No. 1948684
File: 1712153284419.jpg (22.29 KB, 411x390, images.jpg)
Thinking about when did I really stop enjoying all the things I used to and it might had been when I started using lolcow more and more. I used to have hobbies and like things but the only thing I ever do now is post shit.
If I could I would really make a lost of things that no longer feel like joy to me but I guess I won't.
No. 1948799
File: 1712159852645.gif (2.69 MB, 540x540, tumblr_49f117a7e62e816fab7fd30…)
>>1948154No reply this morning so I messaged him again. seen.png. I'm just going to nurse my hangover with wine and die a little inside from my cringey self.
No. 1948833
File: 1712161547133.jpg (113.39 KB, 634x1027, 01c2c340653091aed7ffca0880caf1…)
I wish I was part of the jetset
No. 1948835
>>1948678I don't like people calling it an "illness" because it carries the message that it has an organic cause when it's a normal reaction to today's society
it's the world that is sick not the people
No. 1948866
File: 1712163182932.jpg (41.42 KB, 735x699, df79d8a7621955cced1119985e96cf…)
It's so hard to open up even when I know it's "safe" and "permissable", I wish I was a normie who could talk to my friends and family about my trauma, life and feelings without feeling like hiding and erasing their memories. I'm avoidant and I will always be
No. 1948871
File: 1712163615831.jpeg (145.49 KB, 1905x1067, IMG_1091.jpeg)
why am i so unlikable? why does everyone avoid me? i shower everyday and have good dental hygiene so i know i don’t stink. why do people always stay away from me? it’s been this way since i was a little kid. why does the universe hate me? i just want to end it i cannot live forever like this
No. 1948984
>>1948945it's true because it doesn't obstruct/change the line of the clothes most of the time.
even a lot of people who are thin and interested in fashion want to be more rectangular because of it.
i remember in the 00s when being thin was popular, a lot of women didn't want hips or any kind of curve to their bodies so you could "look good" in the type of clothes that were popular at the time
No. 1949126
>>1949119Try clearly contacts
nonnie, I buy my glasses there for <$100cad total and they always come quick and have prescriptions and filters too.
No. 1949304
>>1948823Okay, it just hit me it might be stress. Third restless night in a row and I just completely broke down.
Currently in uni learning fullstack programming, and most people in class are struggling with keeping up with the current teacher (including me, which makes me feel like an absolute idiot), on top of it he expects us to do a HUGE group project that is clearly above over current level while also doing a pretty complicated individual that all has the exact same deadline, and he actually is expecting us to do some of it during our weekends because he's so out of touch when it comes to newbies. Meanwhile the uni also wants us to try to find an internship which has proven to be quite hard due to the current economy.
And I'm also struggling with my social life, it's partly my own fault for not taking the time to reach out to people (though I'm usually the one to do so, so it would be nice for them to put in the work for once but oh well) but I also have to tell some of them that I currently can't go out to random, expensive brunches like I used to, but they are more than welcome to visit - which they usually just wave off.
These are honestly just fairly minor issues to be stressed over, but I guess I'm weak like that kek
No. 1949315
File: 1712185301063.png (801.44 KB, 778x611, 1000022658.png)
I swear I'm this close to snapping on my mom. Why is she encouraging my sister to move out into an apartment with a moid she hasn't even been dating for a year and that we barely know anything about? "Well anon I moved in with your father after not that long." And look how that turned out! Stuck with an OCD-having abusive male for years who doesn't give a damn about you. I want to throw it in her face that the guy she dated before my dad cheated on her MULTIPLE times and she took him back—like you really think you're a good judge of character when you routinely chose the shittiest men? Actually retarded, I don't know why women encourage other women to be hasty and dumb when it comes to moids when it only ever turns out badly.
No. 1949377
File: 1712188048886.jpg (42.45 KB, 450x470, 1095131-Clipart-Woman-Talking-…)
i've tried just about everything I can to make myself not suicidally depressed, in the past few months this has included trying to find therapists, since that's a thing people tell you to do and I have to check it off my list. I've seen two, who I vetted extensively based on their online info, and they both
>compared my problems to transgender shit
>basically just say "have you considered X?"(X being something that seems obvious to me and I have already considered it extensively) to everything I bring up
Not to sound egotistical, but fuck, am I too smart for therapy? Why do therapists have nothing to say that I haven't thought of before? Why can't I find one that doesn't pull trannies out of her back pocket every time I bring up my sexuality issues? I wasn't expecting magic or anything from therapy, but I guess I was just expecting more than… this. Is this all there is? What am I supposed to do after I've tried everything and still find myself incompatible with the world around me? Because I only see one option and nobody but me will like it (I don't even like it, but it's the only move I have left).
No. 1949380
>>1949377You have to shop around for therapists; there's a lot of retarded ones afoot. I saw 5 different professionals before I finally found someone that understood my struggles and was knowledgeable enough to help me. I'm not sure how it works in your jurisdiction, but in mine there's big gulfs between psychologists, psychotherapists, and counselors. Make sure you're talking with the more experienced people. When you're starting therapy, ask your therapist questions like: how long have you been doing this? What qualifications do you have? What's the the name of your approach to talk therapy (e.g., humanist, behaviorist, etc.)? Do research on what schools of thought they follow and if it's congruent to your understanding of mental well-being.
>Why do therapists have nothing to say that I haven't thought of before?Tell them when you've thought of these things before, they're meant to help guide you to your own conclusions and discuss the possible outcomes of those thoughts. They're not really gonna say "oh do A B and C and then you'll be cured."
No. 1949466
File: 1712193542537.jpeg (45.35 KB, 463x347, 646.jpeg)
Getting real bummed out discovering the amount of bad people a celebrity I admired is associated with. I kind of knew about some of this for a while but figured he just worked with them for a paycheck, but there's even more. Plus some of the recent movies he was in had child actors, although he's been in films with kids before, the other men involved specifically in those recent movies are known groomers. Idk if anything happened to those children in particular but it's making me paranoid. Also learning how desperate he was to take up this career is giving me the ick now, I used to think it was endearing.
No. 1949607
File: 1712199409890.png (289.41 KB, 640x313, 0k2x2fa2nv4a1.png)
What the fuck happened to Pinterest? There's ads in every second row now.
No. 1949897
File: 1712212227550.jpg (27.58 KB, 308x400, 1000011863.jpg)
My manager recently asked me to have a talk with her about my performance. It sucks, basically. I cannot follow instructions, I am forgetful and careless. They cannot trust me with anything and I might get probation again with close monitoring of everything I do. I have depression and ADHD so none of this came as a surprise, but if they fire me I just don't know what to do. I honestly feel like I'm not suited for work, in the beginning when it's new, I can muster up interest in the position but as time goes on I start feeling burned out and make stupider and stupider mistakes which inevitably gets me fired. The whole thing is just exhausting. Also my suicidal thoughts are back even though I started a new antidepressant a few months ago so I have to schedule an appointment with the psych to give me something different because this is clearly not working. I am tired. Everything feels overwhelming
No. 1949922
>>1949908You’re such a good person anon. You couldn’t save five cats and I know that fucking sucks, but that does not take away of how you saved FOUR whole cats from pregnancies, fights, poisonings, killing orher animals/native fauna, FIV and god knows what else. Remember that that kitten is no longer suffering. Years of having to scavenge for food, killing other wild animals unnecessarily, scratching and being scratched during territorial fights, the anxiety of all of it… you spared all of them from that, even if that last one wasn’t in the way you intended and I’m so sorry, but I know you did your best so this was absolutely the best outcome possible. I think it’s actually amazing you managed to catch most of them so I honestly don’t think you could’ve done any better. Perfection doesn’t exist and the outcome you so badly hoped for was near impossible. Please try to focus on the good of your deed, and not the things you couldn’t control.
No. 1950062
>>1950031What kind of job is that? How did you get it? I would do the same
>>1950048Seconding. I am assuming they would be very eloquent. A thread of this stuff would be so interesting
No. 1950067
>>1950031Please share your findings! A thread on the topic like
>>1950062 suggested would be cool too.
No. 1950071
File: 1712231759667.jpg (67.18 KB, 1170x1318, 1712219646690.jpg)
My bfs cousin hates me. He thinks I'm too much for my bf to handle. He said so. He thinks my bf is not strong enough. My bf asked him why is he so invested and he said he wants to keep my bf safe. I want to die, maybe I need to get rid of myself to get rid of the evil of the world.
I really don't know what to do anymore. If a nonna has any idea let me know.
No. 1950083
File: 1712232567364.jpg (51.01 KB, 719x385, Midnight_Hollow_gallery_2.jpg)
I hate that not enough men are diagnosed with BPD because it is inherently seen as a women's disorder and when men do exhibit BPD behavior it's so normalized that it's never seen as what it is but instead your garden variety male moment. It's in their nature. Genuinely, with the way some men act you'd think BPD rates would be more common. It's so weird that women are given that death knoll of a diagnosis like candy but men can act completely unhinged and attention whorish but maybe get away with depression. Another thing is the male/female suicide sterotype. When women attempt suicide, because they're more self concious of what they're doing, they usually use chemicals and pills. Chemicals and pills tend to have low results so it's never seen as a actual attempt at suicide but a cry of attention. It's never the fact that women don't want to traumatize others by blasting their brains across the walls, no it's always attention. Whereas men go 'fuck you all, I'm not going to just blast my brains and make it a traumatic experience for others to see and clean but I'm also going to blast the brains of my wife and children!" which honestly comes off as more attention whorish than a woman quietly killing herslef with pills in the dead of night. To me, it just shows how deep male and female socialization and mindset runs. Most women, all their lives, have to be aware and take care of others so I'm not surprised if they do the same even as they try to kill themselves. I don't know, I saw that news story about a Dutch woman going to euthanize herself and so many moids were calling her a liar and attention whore. It's weird.
It honestly makes me feel self conscious about my failed attempt. I know that no matter what people will think that it wasn't a real suicide attempt, it all for attention clearly. When that's not the case, I just didn't want to traumatize my parents further by dealing with such viscera and mess.
No. 1950103
File: 1712233857222.jpg (201.29 KB, 1593x1593, GettyImages-540542926-scaled-e…)
>>1950074>>1950073Because he keeps saying things about me and how my bf is not strong enough and he needs to protect him.
About his parents, his mom died not too long ago but I never got to meet her, my bf simply showed a picture of me and she said "She's a good one". She also told the cousin "take care of him". So now he's over protective of him. I will meet the dad and my bfs sister soon for the first time. They don't think anything about me. I'm just so fucking afraid of fucking up, I'm not a family person.
I have to add that I've barely spoken to the cousin, he just thinks I'm too depressed and too troubled for my bf to handle. He's very suspicious of me. I've never had this situation in my life.
Also, sorry for the cats, they cheer me up.
No. 1950131
File: 1712235964287.jpg (238.83 KB, 673x715, 72jjud.jpg)
Got diagnosed with hyperthyroidism and I want to kms. I'm literally unable to gain weight and it's affecting my self-esteem greatly I still cannot get pass 39kg because my heart literally beats so fast it burns all calories I eat. My clothes don't fit me, my arms look like lil sticks, my face looks gaunt and aged. Even my hair got thinner and looks dry, puffy and awful too. I'm so self-conscious I've been wearing sweaters and baggy clothing to hide my body, and getting french braids to conceal my fucked up ends. My nails got weaker too and break constantly, I'm always jumpy, overly energetic and anxious and people have commented on it by calling me childish/ autistic when I cannot help my elevated heart beat and cortisol rates. I feel like a fucking freak I cannot wait to get my meds I just want to be normal again
No. 1950194
>>1950182I'm right there with you nonna. My friend group is full of the TRA type, there's two trannoid males in the group (both tranny lesbians, oh joy! And one is in a "lesbian" relationship with an asian women who for some reason gets a ton of "masculinizing" jokes aimed her way, like her tranny boyfriend's friends saying they'd physically fight her first before her "delicate flower" trannoid boyfriend in an effort to affirm his delusions). Only my boyfriend and one or two male friends know my actual opinion. I wish I had a girl friend to laugh at trannies with. Every single woman in my friend group is a TRA or TRA-lite. I only told 2 of my male college friends and boyfriend because the typical male never gives a shit about "wrongthink" unless you're straight up saying to systematically kill all men with them included.
God I wish I could sperg about how shit trannies are to a close female friend (who doesn't also believe gay people are 100% evil freaks too). Ranting to my bf is okay but he's not against TRAs and trannoies, he's just against child transitioning and child sex changes and surgeries. Which, thank fuck. But still. I want someone who's been in the queerio shit since like high school who understands the madness and retardation of TRAs like I do. But every woman I know of who's seen forsthand how tumblr has ruined society forever….. is a shey/they, they/them loser kek.
No. 1950230
File: 1712242217789.jpeg (65.14 KB, 736x981, IMG_0202.jpeg)
This was peak female character design and im seething that finding characters like this is so rare these days. If it isn’t moids complaining about how unfeminine it is, it’s gendies trying to trans wash them. IM SICK OF IT
No. 1950266
>>1950071Just try not to care
nonnie. I know its hard but my bfs cousins are the same and hate me very much. People will always be rooting for you to win and fail so do not pay no mind. Hating you is a waste of time and energy anyways.
>>1950255 No. 1950373
>>1950340Good. I'll be lighting my J for you tonight
nonnie. He was dragging you down and you can treat yourself better. Good riddance
No. 1950384
File: 1712250601876.jpg (126.46 KB, 872x334, 1000007103.jpg)
>>1950340His emoji may as well be limp wristed the gay cunt
No. 1950416
File: 1712252460628.jpg (20.2 KB, 626x418, elegant-smiling-woman-glasses-…)
>>1950328A bit of a story
>browsing instagram>find a nice reel about a woman excited that a bathroom stall has a purse holder>woman jokingly says that the stall had to be designed by women>find moid in comment>moid says something really misogynistic about the mere possibility of a woman designing something and how all women are bashing men>moid is having a absolute tantrum>moid says that he loves triggering women etc. etc.>reply that "I get it, I love finding men's personal information">says whatever to me and calls me a woman in the way that moids mean retard>go on his profile and his profile has his full name and high school>from that I'm able to find a site that high schools uses to catalog information about student athletes.>from this find out he played football, is 5'10 and weighs 175 pounds, his state, his county, some friends of his who he played with.>casually mention this to moid>moid calls me retarded and confirms that he's not 175 pounds he's 180 and now 6'0". Retard also confirms that he indeed played football.>follow moid because his account is privated.>moid fucking allows me to follow him.>on moids insta his fucking his wife's insta is there commenting on his posts>use wife's name to find wife's facebook >use wife's facebook, cross reference with friend of moid's facebook to confirm his wife is his wife and he is who he is.>mention this to moid.>moid calls me a weird stalker, noticeably adds more lols and has stopped insulting me.>saying things like "you're not going to find anything so you can just stop and I already put everything out there so it doesn't matter stalker".>casually mention his what I thought was his mother's first name.>moid says I'm stupid and gives me his actual mother's first name.>through his mother's first name find out his father's full name.>with his mother and father's full name I find his parent's address, phone number, etc. on public databases.>with his parents address I find his address, phone number, etc. on public access databases.>all while doing this I continue to pester moid with subtle hints and such.>moid just says I'm lying and bullshitting and that I'm weird.>mention his wife's name>says he doesn't know who that woman is>I reply that he's bullshitting because not only is the wife on his Instagram but he's on her facebook>no reply he ignores me and argues with other women in the comments.>mention to moid, his father's full name and uncle's(?) full name. >moid deletes account and original misogynistic comment, thread going with it.>my only punishment is that a comment of me calling him fat was removed before he deleted everything.Honestly, I feel bad and I probably should've spent my afternoon home writing diatribes instead of digitally stalking and almost doxxing a moid because he pissed me off. My heart is still beating and I am slightly sad that I did this. It was also slightly fun which makes me all the more guilty. I don't know, I feel like it's bad karma and I am studying hard in field that'll have me finding and working with confidential information, so I wonder if this'll effect my chances into getting into something like that. I don't think the government would want to hire someone who collects the information of people and subtly doxxes them in a public comment section over mean comments. The real kicker was that everything was so easy to find. His full name was plastered on everything, same for his friends and family. I don't understand why he even gave me his mother's first name when I already made it know I know his state, county, the highschool he went to, his friends name, his wife's name, etc. Did he think I wouldn't find his personal information?
No. 1950490
>>1950194That sucks nona. Transbians are the worst creatures on this planet, I'm sorry you have to deal with that. So pathetic they have to make a real girl out to be masculine to appease the hulking tranny kek. I wish I had a girl friend to laugh at trannies with too. I mean, I do have my childhood best friend, but she's also religious and while she doesn't hate gay people and understands their attraction, she says it's sinful to 'act upon your desires'. And I'm bi kek. I just can't win. But I guess it's better than nothing?
It's good you could tell your male friends about it though, at least. I can't tell mine because even the males are huge tranny supporters. So strange. I hope you meet a girl friend soon to hate on trannies with nona. It sucks feeling like you're the only normal and enlightened person. I have a super intelligent, smart friend but even she is a she/they kweerio and it makes me lose hope sometimes.
No. 1950535
>>1950416Why would you feel bad? Men do this and worse to women all the time for no reason. They need to learn their place.
Have you read about the women who used Bumble to identify the rioters who stormed the Capitol and send their information to the FBI? They literally said things like 'Wow, tell me more!' and 'That's so cool!' and the moids they were talking to just spewed everything. Men are not smart.
No. 1950545
File: 1712256436198.jpeg (321.09 KB, 1560x1039, IMG_0403.jpeg)
I’m supposed to be working on part of my research project due today before I go to ballet and now I’m peeing out bits of light red/pinkish blood in my urine and it’s ruining my mood and now I’m not sure what to do and can’t focus on the assignment. I don’t think it’s bladder cancer and probably a UTI but I feel no extreme pain aside from a bit in my belly and very slightly when I push? It all came on suddenly but overall I feel energetic and fine. I can’t afford the doctor or urgent care I’m already in debt and in college so I don’t want to go there if I don’t need to but what if it is serious? I can’t afford to take on more debt. I can hardly afford to pay my mother rent I hope everything is okay. Fuck!!
No. 1950575
File: 1712257477976.jpg (51.74 KB, 680x596, 1622187243183.jpg)
>>1950416that was so iconic please don't feel bad
No. 1950615
File: 1712259493909.jpg (11.8 KB, 229x220, download.jpg)
the amount of profiles on edTWT that belong to people between the ages of 14-18 is genuinely upsetting. i pray those kids quit being influenced by that cesspool to be worse and get better someday…
No. 1950691
>>1950656u can be my number 1 girl
nonnie.
u reminded me of the time me and my friend recreated the music video for youtube. i think it was for a contest or something that we had 0 chance of winning kek it was so bad
No. 1950711
I’ve talked about this here before and I am not trying to black pill post, but I just really cannot stress enough how important it is to make sure the men you sleep with are STD free. It doesn’t matter if he’s a bar hookup or the guy you’ve been in love with since middle school, you have to assume the worst.
Yet again one of the moids I know admitted to sleeping with a prostitute. He’s 19 years old, a very average looking guy, skinny, unassuming. He looks like every guy you went to school with and you’d never suspect he’d be the type to brag about sleeping with 2 girls in the same night without “cleaning his dick” (his words) but he is. He’s not clean and there are a million more like him, please please please do not ever assume the man you’re going to sleep with is different. It’s great if he is, there’s a good chance he’s not like that, but if he is and you assume otherwise then it’s Your life at risk. Your fertility, your health, you living with the stigma, your pain.
I’ve seen too many girls fall victim to these disgusting men and it kills me I can’t do anything about it other than warn girls before it happens to them.
No. 1951038
File: 1712277935851.jpg (109.5 KB, 736x736, 1000017292.jpg)
I don't know what to do. So I have a friend, I love her a lot, but she's extremely obsessed with some actors and wants to turn our roleplays into a full-fledged story.
The issue is that we've been role-playing for literal years, daily, and at this point I don't even know what to write, because I also just don't know if I'm good at it.
Like she doesn't really seem to like the way I write, which is just throwing myself at the screen and writing everything whenever I get the idea of what I want to do, and then I re-read it again and again until everything kind of makes sense? But she's extremely methodical, she's that kind of person that reads the whole ass historical context, investigates stuff and like, writes everything on paper a million times before making a real story. Which is awesome and honestly I admire her for doing so but I can't, I've tried doing so and it doesn't work, I lose interest on what I'm doing originally and end up absorbing the most ultimately useless information, or I get embarrassed and never write on paper what I want to do because I used to do that as an edgy teen so, yeah, it's like a revival of those times and it makes me cringe to hell and back.
Lately I've been wanting to write, mostly because I found an amazing group of girls from here. I don't really know if I can actually write properly, but they never really told me that my writing sucks, so I guess that's a good sign? Or maybe they were just being kind… but idk, I still got to want to write again after many years not even trying to write.
But the moment I write something and show it to my friend, she obviously finds flaws and tells me so, and like, yeah, I also edit her stories and whatnot, but her criticism hurts me a lot because I know I suck, I know I don't have a methodology of any sorts and it frustrates me, making me try to develop a methodology and get frustrated again because nothing makes sense. So now all I do is just scroll to distract my wish to write and make art, it doesn't work because then I want to write and make art, but I'm so shit at it that I get discouraged again.
I barely have the energy to talk to others that aren't my friend and my family because my brain power is all retarded and focused on trying to understand how the fucking hell do you fucking write oh my fucking God just kill me already.
In resume, I want to die already.
No. 1951048
Writing this from another man's bed. I really miss sex with my ex. He was a narcissist, an emotionally abusive manipulator, an alcoholic and a porn addict in denial, but he was reasonably fit and had a 7 incher. Penetration is very important for me, especially doggy and being pounded overall.
At the time, I didn't realize that the truth behind his duration in bed was a direct result of his porn rot, and believed him when he would tell it was just his self control and desire to please me (I was young, naive and blinded by love). We would have rough sex multiple times a day, for over an hour each time. Mind you, he always came and never lost his erection- probably the reason why I didn't suspect he was unsatisfied with my body, performance, etc. That absolutely catapulted changed my expectations and standards for how long men last in bed and their stamina.
After our split, multiple friends (of both sexes) gave me the reality check that he would take so long to cum because of porn addiction (and that he probably didn't think I was that hot because I wasn't a blow-up doll bimbo with perfect surgically enhanced and/or plastic body parts). When we dated, his porn consumption and addiction eventually became more evident and became a problem in our relationship, and when I tried to help him (lol) he was adamantly trying to convince me he wasn't.
I haven't had many sexual partners after him: one was a virgin, one was sexually inactive for a while and the other one (whose bed I'm typing from now) has a vaster sexual history than I do. He really likes, claims he usually doesn't cum fast and is puzzled as to why he is "suddenly cumming faster" with me. I just need to be fucked in doggy until I can't think. I really miss my ex's performance in bed, even though he probably was thinking of porn and other women while fucking me. He truly fucked like a machine.
tl;dr: My porn addict ex took forever to cum and got me used to being fucked to oblivion multiple times a day. Since him I haven't been uninterruptedly fucked hard for over 10 minutes straight. Who knew male porn addiction would ever benefit a woman in any way, shape or form. I can't believe I just typed that. Can anyone relate?
No. 1951135
File: 1712285857948.gif (3.7 MB, 400x224, IMG_9889.gif)
>lonely
>isolated
>angry woman with anger problems
>spiritual
>nothing to spiritually rely on
>no friends
my life is a conspiracy, I have no purpose to be here yet I was born
No. 1951156
File: 1712286560920.jpg (73.68 KB, 512x467, unnamed.jpg)
It is really really fucking hard to not fly off the handle and get super fucking fat
No. 1951171
I am genuinely not trying to brag when I say this, but I am a person who has strong morals and does not back down from them, I live my life in accordance with the ethics I believe in even when it's difficult or alienating. If I state an opinion during a discussion and then later realize I was wrong, I do not hesitate to say "you know what, I was wrong. Here's where I was mistaken and why I changed my mind." I am genuine to a fault and sometimes to my personal detriment. If I say I believe in a cause, it is never just lip service, I act on it consistently even when it's inconvenient. For me, living like this feels like the only option. I couldn't live any way else. I am not perfect, but I try my best to do what's right 100% of the time.
I genuinely can't figure out why almost no one acts in accordance with the morals they claim to possess. Why is everyone a bystander, spineless, refusing to stand up? Letting others be trampled or trampling them themselves? Sacrificing other people for their own convenience or comfort? Hurting others in the same way they were hurt? Too lazy to take any action that would remove them from their daily routine of scrolling on their phones? Only caring when things start to affect them personally? I don't understand how people live like this. I cannot understand why. I don't know how they can live with themselves.
When I kill myself, it won't be because I hate myself. It's will be because I hate the world. I hate the people around me. I am disgusted by it all on such a deep level that I cannot bear to exist here. I look around and just want to die.
No. 1951192
>>1951180because I can look at my actions and other people's actions and see an enormous gulf. I can look at people's words and their actions and see that same enormous gulf. People who look at my words and my actions find very little distance between them. No one can be perfect and so by that logic I cannot be perfect either, however there are definitely different levels of
trying to do what you think is right, and I can observe that compared to others, I try abnormally hard even when the cost-benefit analysis does not make sense for me to do so. Other people don't seem to manually override this analysis hardly at all.
No. 1951198
File: 1712288859600.jpg (38.24 KB, 250x248, 1582924752151.jpg)
literally every girl i know has had a boyfriend except me
No. 1951203
>>1951202you've never allowed a creature who doesn't care about you as a person to use you as a human sex toy, but all your friends fell
victim. That's a win.
No. 1951324
File: 1712294075421.jpg (75.78 KB, 640x672, downloadfile-1.jpg)
>>1951311Hey look, I'm going to try and take you as seriously as I can. But I literally gave her the benefit of the doubt. I literally went and explained it to her. And I don't really see how you can compare pic related to playing Hogwarts legacy. So I really don't get your point of view at all. I'm sorry. Like I don't get it.
No. 1951382
>>1951317Thanks nonna x
>>1951351>>1951355Sorry maybe I should have spoilered that. I don't know, I am trying really hard to just assume that she is stupid as fuck because she is. And she also hangs around a Libertarian type of crowd so I could see them posting something like this and laughing about it, so she thinks it's just a funny meme or something? Actually I don't care I just realized I don't care. I don't want anything to do with her anymore. And I tried my best. Like if she wants to be stupid, go for it.
No. 1951397
File: 1712297139293.jpg (59.17 KB, 564x942, 4638014055a956a228ffe0b3ff782e…)
I don't know if I have a personality disorder or something but sometimes I wish I was single so bad it's insane. Like my boyfriend is a nice guy and I like him and love him and all but I just get so tired of us being in the same house all the time, it's not even like he's always bothering me it's just the simple fact that I am not completely alone. Also it's not like I started out great but I don't like the habits I've developed since we started dating like eating too much and spending too much. We've talked about it a lot but it's like we're just a little bad for each other. Sometimes I feel really happy to be with him, though. Hot and cold. Idk I'm just frustrated as hell and want this all in the void
No. 1951441
>>1951422It's important no to self-isolate just because it's what you're used to, but the effects of doing so as a coping mechanism for years takes its toll.
We are kind of at that point too, but I don't feel bad living with my gf. I love her and there's nobody else I'd rather be with. But I have let the relationship devolve into a similar kind of mutual co-existence.
I don't know if this is just the reality of relationships or if it's a problem.
No. 1951455
>>1951441>devolve into a similar kind of mutual co-existence.This resonates so much. It really does suck anon. Thank you for commiserating with me though, hopefully we can both figure it out with time.
>>1951448Tumblr. Cue laugh track etc
No. 1951534
I literally have been in and out of the doctors about frequent fainting for about 3 years now. First was told its normal for women my age to faint, then probably low iron, got a blood test and my irons fine, went back complaining that this was accompanied by an alarmingly hugh heart rate, probably my thyroid, got another blood test and its normal. I go back and I'm told its hormones, get a blood test and my hormones are fine. This is a back and forth until I collapse at a shopping centre, I'm uncontrollably shaking, delirious, pale and sweaty, my arms are completely numb, I go to A&E and 6 hours later when its passed, my ECG comes back normal so its nothing. I go back to the doctors, its stress. I finally give up with the NHS and go private, one 30 minute appointment later I have what appears to be a POTs adjacent cardiovascular condition which causes a spike in heart rate when standing for more than a minute which worsens as more time passes, hence the shaking and fainting and loss of vision and the numbness. Things are worse now because I've had to become quite inactive to avoid ending up at A&E from passing out in thr gym, and then to control my weight I've been eating less because if I eat how I used to at this level of inactivity, I'm going to gain weight. So basically, I've been essentially told female hysteria/ silly gril ur faking it, for years and I actually have a steadily worsening, undiagnosed, untreated heart condition???
No. 1951585
>>1951397Why does it have to be a disorder necessarily? Relationships have their benefits but they have downsides, too, and they can outweigh the good for some people–if they're more independent, need more space, find intimacy/closer contact overwhelming, etc. I'm this way, for example, I'm currently single and I think about relationships sometimes but for the most part, I don't, and I feel absolutely comfortable being by myself. If I wasn't, I'd have to constantly make compromises, adapt to someone's needs and feel guilty for not being fully emotionally invested. And yeah, it does make you feel like there's something wrong with you while you're in a relationship. You can be expected to "fix" it, do something to become "happier", do something about your sex drive, etc. But when you're single, all of these things are not a problem at all. And you don't feel bad for being this way. Honestly, I don't know how realistic it is to find someone who'd be ok with it and willing to stay in such a relationship. I guess it's possible, when you know exactly what you want and you're open about it, but I can't really imagine how it would work.
No. 1951689
>>1951604>Blood test result 'normal' but poop test full of blood and inflammation so lets do another blood test. Cycle repeats.Wow, why are they so idiotic. They should have gotten you on that colonoscopy immediately after that stool test and possibly given you some Prednisone or equivalent medicine if you needed it. I hate doctors,
nonnie.
No. 1951692
>>1951686I've had my own place after getting my degrees and work and tbh I have faced a lot of animosity by men I am dating about having my own space I can leave too whenever I don't want to put up with shit. I've also told every boy I've dated my place feels small for me (it's a tiny apartment) so if you would like to take the next steps and move in together we would have to find a new place to rent together. I've had men sniff around me for a place to live. I've had men accuse me of cheating because while I'm not married or living with someone I will take days apart to focus on myself and work.
I know people think it's a cope when women say they intimidate men and have difficulty dating but it's honestly true. Successful men seem to want doormats and the povo men also want easily coerced women. I'm envious of every successful women that speaks about having her own bedroom in a matrimonial home and her own bathroom. That's a fucking dream if I lived with a man it would be an absolute dream to have a whole wing to myself free from moid air, stress and grime.
No. 1951698
>>1950995Honestly that seens like enough food. Also, if you don't wash the eggs after you collect them you can just put them into a bowl or an egg carton with out refridgeration for a long time. No need to rush!
>>1951048Its possible she does know what she is doing and the denial is just cope. Not so easy to admit to 'wrongthink' when a friend or family member confronts you on it
No. 1951702
>>1951683Hope you'll be knocked out on painkillers soon
nonnie.
>>1951686I met my boyfriend on tinder when I was a neet, I was so bored I figured I might as well give it a chance. I couldn't keep up with a relationship when I was in college because I was busy enough as it was. Also if you're a neet I feel like you're more likely to settle for less than if you're successful already. And
>>1951690 is very much true.
No. 1951704
File: 1712322915627.jpeg (84.07 KB, 553x554, images.jpeg)
I'm so tired of being a poorfag. I can't buy all the things I need at once - I can only buy one thing per month - and I can only afford phones from years ago.
No. 1951772
>>1951759I feel like both of you have never stepped outside in the real world. Most men target women based on the womans self esteem, naivety and perception of life. Its not about state of careers its about state of your own mental psyche. Thats why you see so many working class women lately in
abusive relationship with bum jobless men who take all their money, cheat on them, beat them etc.
No. 1951819
>>1951805it's so tiring to hear all the fake concerns from women too acting like I'm sickly looking all the time
>>1951810well then glad you live somewhere were skinny women are praised because that's not my experience lol
No. 1951827
>>1951819Model-skinny and y2k skinny are making a huge comeback though, thats why i can't take you seriously.
If you made this post during the slim-thick bbl era from 2016-2020 i would take you seriously but that era has passed and being skinny is back in again.
No. 1951829
>>1951792Deadass, it's actually awful to be called a skeleton unprovoked, specially if you literally cannot help your bodytype or weight
>>1951805>I've heard a few women drop that only dogs like bones around meHeard this too irl wtf
>>1951827Ntayrt you know that america it's not the only country in the world right. If you're skinny at LATAM, the Caribbean or Africa you're cooked
No. 1951860
>>1951836Again you are very naive and sheltered. This is not the 1950's anymore of provider abusers and their housewifes. Modern abusers are not providers (and if they are its rare) even in neet relationships you will be surprised to find out that the woman is also financing the dude or that she used to have a career before she went broke and lost it thanks to her partner. Alexa Nichols is a recent great example of this she got with a older dude and that makes you think he was 'doting' her but she lost her acting career because of him and was financing his life until he finally started making money and became the breadwinner and abusing her. Spare me your "girlboss high standards" shit because its not like that in real life and especially if you are not white.
You live in stereotypes from the last century.
No. 1951862
>>1951847I've noticed alot of posters here hiding behind feminism so they can be bitter and angry towards other women. I immediately picked up on the seething in the posts.
It reminds me of those women who lie to themselves and say that the reason they are single is because they are hot and pretty and that men are intimitaed by their beauty and chose uglies kek. Massive amount of copium and covert-pickmeism.
No. 1952149
>>1951792Nona, I know how you feel. I didn't gain considerable weight until I reached my mid 20s. When I was 19, I had a waitress tell me that "once you have a baby, you'll fill out in your hips and boobs and look like a real woman." I was shocked, I turned bright red, and thankfully someone at my table steered the conversation away from that stuff. Also had an aunt say I was "half a person." Kek
No matter how a woman is, fat, skinny, muscular, people think they are entitled to telling us how they think we look. They are assholes, try your best to ignore them.
No. 1952217
File: 1712348032483.png (117.7 KB, 314x320, Nikki_-_Nintendo_News.png)
>open up Swapdoodle after X amount of years
>note was sent to me from a deleted friend that I can't see
It's the end of an era as the 3DS online services close on the 8th. I so dearly want a new Swapnote/doodle for the Switch. Please, Nintendo. It's the only game I yearn for.
No. 1952335
File: 1712351890748.jpg (417.8 KB, 1280x834, tumblr_odpp77p8Lm1sj6kezo1_128…)
im so depressed and suicidal please just make it stop make it stop hurting i cant take this anymore
No. 1952454
I'm really sick of the way some women talk about their husbandos (on twitter and the like, not here). Calling male characters feminine terms like babygirl and wife, and talking about how they want to penetrate and impregnate them. These girls all identify as "cis", btw. It's like they can only express attraction in male terms, just total pornsick brainwashing. Women are the object of men's sexual desire, so being the object of sexual desire is inherently feminine. These women have no language for being horny as a woman, particularly a dominant one, so they adapt men's language and deny their own biology. The old "omg he makes my ovaries explode!" was ridiculous and obviously not biologically accurate, but at least you didn't have this level of gross autoandrophilia pervading the entire fandom.
Feminization of husbandos has always been happening to some extent. Hell, with how 3DPD scrotes are, I'm sure some nonas would say imagining a male to be considerate is projecting onto them. These fangirls have taken it way too far though, and it's no longer cute or funny.
No. 1952506
>>1952468The weird as fuck thing is that the women I saw doing this don't even seem to imagine their husbandos as cuntboys or anything, but they still say stuff like that. Ironically TiFs are the only ones who get to talk about wanting to be eaten out.
>the babygirl trend was somewhat cute and funny but now it's so overdoneExactly, it's not wrong in and of itself, but when it catches on longterm it shows something messed up is going on.
No. 1952570
>>1952550Had the exact same shit happen to me only it's Discord instead of Xbox
>>1952563It's true, I keep thinking maybe there's a chance they're not all like that but it's delusional cope
No. 1952611
>>1952246That's what I assume. I think she's used to people coming to her instead of it being the other way around.
>>1952338The thing that really bothers me is that when I reply to her immediately when I'm free it doesn't happen but as soon as I don't reply to her for 1-2 days but am still visibly online she vagues about it (and her messages were nothing urgent or anything, mostly ongoing conversations about characters)
But you know what, reading your post made me realize that I probably never really communicated my situation either (not wanting a friendship that relies on me texting them everyday) and my other friend I talked to about this just said to wait it out so I do appreciate your perspective, thank you! I'll think about how to best approach her.
No. 1952675
Okay so I know I've made posts similar to this in the past couple years I've been aware my therapist/psychologist is retiring. So I'm sorry if this is repetitive, but the past few weeks have been really hard and I have no one to talk to about it so I just need to vent. Last session we talked about what's going to happen after he retires and we both came to an agreement that we'd like to stay in touch either through email or text or talking over the phone and going for walks or to get coffee together sometimes. Last session he mentioned how he had done so with a few clients in the past and it didn't work out, so this session I asked what those clients were like and why it didn't work out. He was sort of vague on the details like saying the clients had trouble transitioning from a client/therapist relationship to a friendship. And that they would still treat the hangouts like a session, even referring to him as Dr.lastname and I'm assuming not taking interest in his life like a friendship would usually be like. He said one of the people was a man around his age that he still is in somewhat contact with, and the other two were women he doesn't speak to anymore. One was around mid thirties and one in her fifties, but I'm not sure if those are current ages or how old they were at the time he saw them. I was kind of weirded out two of them were women much younger than him to be honest, and surprised his wife was accepting of that. He told me the one in her thirties he used to invite to family dinners at his house, like Christmas and Thanksgiving and stuff like that. I was kind of shocked because that seems like such an overstep for me, like how was that explained to his family and were they okay with it? He said he felt she was in need of a family dynamic or environment or something like that. But it also made me sad cause like where is she now? How is she coping with having that and then losing it? And will he do something similar with me, like go for coffee and keep in touch for a little while then just leave? I don't know maybe I'm overthinking this, I've never had a situation like this and I don't know what to think so I'm just kind of worried and sad about everything.
No. 1952747
File: 1712369780050.jpeg (95.19 KB, 828x768, IMG_1875.jpeg)
>Submit license renewal 10 days before expiring, I guess it's my fault because it's short
>Government website says 3-5 days
>License is set to expire 5 days from now
I'm going to fucking yell
No. 1952830
File: 1712376868747.jpg (57.68 KB, 400x388, vkr13.jpg)
>feel dejected about the passage of time
>remember i get to eat some little shortbread cookies tomorrow morning
It's the little things nonnas
No. 1952895
File: 1712383204283.jpg (78.69 KB, 574x102, Tumblr_l_27221318167426.jpg)
I have fucking bedbugs. I want to die
No. 1952923
I got sexually assaulted when I was freshly 18 and it negatively impacted any romantic or sexual relationship progress I had going forward. I became afraid of most men because I'd known my assaulter for a while before he did, so who's to say I wouldn't get hurt again. I started getting a lot better about 4 years later after finding more men I genuinely trusted. But then, I got into a freak accident and was bed ridden and recovering for months. The weight gain and scars on me made me incredibly insecure and so even when I was recovered, I wasn't sure… and then the pandemic hit. Then years later I'm coming out even fatter and more depressed. I start changing my life around and lose a lot of the weight and I've come to accept my scars. Very very very recently did I ever have another sexual experience with a man I knew I could trust. I didn't want firsts to be tied to a relationship, especially since I was more looking to get past a sexual fear hurdle more than seek a romantic relationship, but I also didn't know if I could just trust some casual fling to make me feel safe. So it was with a friend of a couple of years and I can honestly say it was a genuinely comfortable experience. I felt safe to try things and also lean back and know I can stop things when I want to. It was nice to have a sexual experience with someone else that wasn't actively traumatic.
That's good and everything, so I did reluctantly tell my friends. Not heavy details, but the gist. I'd been with someone finally, it was comfortable, it was safe, it gave me something good to think about myself. They'd known about my sexual assault and apprehension with men and had cheered me on in the background before so I hoped they'd just be happy for me and know how important that was. Instead I got replies of whatever, we've done it before, it's not a big deal, why do you feel the need to mention that. I guess I just feel stupid typing it now. Now I just feel dumb for being so afraid so long. Maybe I'm just stupid
No. 1952963
File: 1712389904215.gif (1.39 MB, 315x174, 685.gif)
I borrowed my brother's phone and saw he had screenshotted something about a nude ai deepfake app/site. I'm gonna confront him about it and ask if he would wanna be deepfaked getting ass raped by big burly men and I might even call him a faggot. Fuck scrotes.
No. 1952976
>>1952963like he'd care?
Youre better off publicly embarrassing him so people he cares about shame him. He wont give a fuck about what you have to say
Get all your friends to laugh at him and shame him for being such a porn addicted loser
He wont really care anyways though
No. 1953029
>>1952963Don't confront him. Make good on this:
>if he would wanna be deepfaked getting ass raped by big burly menKeep the deepfake(s), wait some time and find out if he's deepfaking any women he knows, blackmailing them, posting it anywhere, etc. Then do it to him and/or ruin his life.
No. 1953054
File: 1712399978894.png (107.42 KB, 960x960, yes honey.png)
Why did I say yes to working on saturday?
No. 1953140
File: 1712406254493.jpeg (136.49 KB, 407x417, IMG_9905.jpeg)
>jannies defending hypersensitive tranny women who get to roleplay as a moid and betray their entire sex
>after betraying entire sex and demeaning them by playing glorified tomboy persona they get to turn around and run back to female spaces when they see the consequences of their very own self-induced mental illness
>need metaphorical mommy’s teets to suck on because someone was being mean because they don’t know how to function outside of the troon hugboxes of which they came from where it’s back and forth ritual abuse and victimizing swinging on a pendulum
I wish crystal.cafe was more active because this faggotry they allow here way is too much but god forbid you want dumbass shit thread back, all of the vultures and no-fun having brain damaged users jump out to make you look crazy for wanting a thread back that was super popular. They must be into witchcraft or something because I don’t understand the sudden vendetta or hatred against that thread that almost everyone used like just hide the mf thread, that’s why they created that function in the first place. This is why I fucking hate TIFs as much as TIMs, a bunch of crybabies who’s mission is to make another woman’s life as less enjoyable as possible because they themselves are not comfortable being born a woman. All so tiresome.
No. 1953283
I have a friend who says she can talk to spirits and ghosts and it hasn't been an issue to me until a few days ago when we were hanging out in my apartment and she told me that there was a ghost visiting which had a message for me. I'm used to having her point out that there's a ghost nearby now and then, but the message part was new. She mentioned that the ghost had shown her a sea shell and that while she didn't know what it meant, the ghost said that I would, which I didn't. She complained that I was close-minded and that this was the reason ghosts so rarely approached her when she was hanging out with me, because my mind wasn't open to the idea of them. She was hurt because she took my dismissive tone for not believing her, and while I personally don't believe in ghosts, it doesn't mean that I think what she sees and feels is not real to her. It's just not real to me, that's all. We ended the discussion and continued hanging out and talking about other things, but when she left it felt very awkward. I feel bad for making her upset, but also annoyed at her trying to involve me in something she knows I'm not interested in. I hate conflicts with friends in general, especially over a topic I have no idea how to navigate.
No. 1953314
>>1953245I have a similar issue and think my boobs are slightly tuberous. I would consider a lift just because it has caused me great deal of body image issues. My lower half is thicker and I starved myself just so I could feel "balanced".
I know I have severe body dysmorphia. I think other women can relate to not feeling like their body looks normal or that it looks deformed with the way the female body is capitalized. I would look at porn or naked women when I was younger just to compare my body. Honestly a few days ago I came across pictures of nude pinups from like the 1950s and earlier and even though the bodies were still idealized (most big boobed), I couldn't get over how many had large (aka normal) sized aerolas. I have "pepperoni nipples" which I heard boys saying about women when I was a teen and felt like something was totally wrong with me, yet almost all the vintage pinups had bigs ones, even the smaller breasted ones. It's just kinda amazing how badly society treats womens bodies. We can never be good enough because the goal post is always changing and moids are influenced by what they see and what other moids say. Idk sorry for the rant.
No. 1953349
>>1953233>they’re just larping So are tradwives. And they’re traitors because they perpetuate an agenda that seeks to erode biological women’s right to autonomy, quite similar to the tradwife. They also desperately try to appease men by absorbing their sexist beliefs and weaponize them in arguments against those “rude, mean”feminists who talk shit about men. I’ve never seen moids engage in such traitorous, backstabbing behavior, even if they feign being feminists they all as a class stick for each other. If you’re asking me why it’s traitorous to begin with then
I honestly can’t trust women fuck the idea of sisterhood >>1953235Terrible projection, go away and leave normal women alone please
No. 1953429
>>1953401Big tit women don't get bullied all throughout high school for their tits, don't have 0 representation in media, don't get humiliated by moids their entire life, etc. Completely different
>>1953422>I see pedo anime artists draw lolis with my body type and it makes me feel disgusting and feel like shit like only pedos are attracted to me for having small boobsI know how you feel and i hate it, the worst part is i'm also short. Even my ex said shortly after i turned 18 "whoever is attracted to you is probably a pedophile", like wtf. Idk if you are a weeaboo but i am and it sucks how i've hardly seen any non loli small-chested anime girls, only ones i can think of is the mc from wotakoi and rukia from bleach.
No. 1953444
>>1953438I'm not. Women with big boobs (or trannies) bullied me all through high school bc of it to the point where i have body dysmorphia to this day. Once again, the beauty standard playing the
victim >>1953441 What nonna said
No. 1953479
File: 1712421610963.jpeg (191.18 KB, 792x800, IMG_9907.jpeg)
>makes food for me and my mum
>uses bathroom
>about to finally eat
>iphone drops and for the first time it cracks and completely shatters the upper top half of my entire screen so badly
>is still able to use though lol
ughhh i’m actually not that pissed off because I know these phones are vulnerable to falls and accidents but it happened in such a split second I couldn’t prevent it and that’s what makes me so annoyed kek. i wish I was tech-savvy enough to replace my own screen but that shit looks so hard so I’m gonna have to pay for it to get it fixed AGAIN
No. 1953483
>>1953257Thanks
nonnie, I'm lucky to have some nice spots close to me which is great. It's just the crippling loneliness, I don't really live in a place where it's even normal to say hi if you pass someone on the street. Too bad but I guess it'll work out some way.
No. 1953512
File: 1712424305705.jpg (49.76 KB, 625x416, sun.jpg)
The days are longer now and it's starting to get more sunny and warm again. Everyone around me is like "oOh, how amazing, such nice weather, how good it feels to wake up while the sun is already shining" and so on. And I'm here, not being able to function above 25°C and getting depression from too much sunlight and you can't tell anyone because they don't understand and you are just whining because look how amazing the weather is now. And soon, when it's above 25°C for many days in a row I have to wear short sleeves because I hate sweating and being hot and then people will stare at me again because of some scars I produced when I was stupid and young. The worst part is, I haven't self-harmed in years but every summer the thoughts start creeping back into my mind until it's August/September and I'm not able to take the subway without thinking about jumping in front of it. It would be so much easier to just be more depressed when it's winter because everyone understands and has their own story to share about it, but being depressed in the summertime, hell no, that's not possible and you just need to change your point of view and go outside, catching some sunlight to boost your mood.
No. 1953537
>>1953512Sounds like hell t. fellow hot weather hater
Luckily I live in the north and we had a snow storm yesterday and today was 0 degrees so I'm fine for the time being.
No. 1953740
File: 1712436017538.jpeg (121.12 KB, 828x1570, IMG_3033.jpeg)
i get so tired of myself and i don't know how to stop. like i'm overbearing to myself and i have no idea why but i over think every little thing. literally spent like two days going back and forth on whether or not to go buy myself some puzzles to do from the thrift store. Like why?? why can't i ever just relax or shut off my brain, why do i always have to overthink everything and come up with a million little annoying ass tasks to do and beat myself up over not accomplishing it. Like, how tf cares if i pack up all my winter clothes today or tomorrow?? or do paint touch ups or reorganize the living room? like why the fuck can't i just wake up, chill, use all this mental energy to get in a good workout inand then feel accomplished enough to just relax? fuck!!!!
No. 1953786
I am so sick of being useless and unproductive, doing nothing. I wish I could go back in time and warn myself that it would be like this, days melting into weeks into months into years of nothing, just fucking nothing. I don't think this can be called living. I can't afford to move out or get a car. Can't use the family car because my dad won't let anyone else touch it, and even if I could, there are no jobs here for me to drive to anyways. Online work isn't really a thing here, and every time I try to apply to an American company, nothing, it's like throwing apps into an abyss. Every day feels so sticky and useless and wasted. I'm so restless and desperate. I have no friends because I don't talk to anyone, I don't do anything, I just maintain my life. Cook, clean, bathe, that's it. I haven't bought anything for myself in years, but recently I got a planner and realized my life is empty, completely vacant. I missed my window to leave home when I had money because my mom begged me to stay and said she'd kill herself if I left. I feel trapped now, I feel like I'm going crazy, I feel like I'm going to die like this. I tried so many different psych meds back when I still had a job and lived in the US, but nothing worked. I have been so miserable my entire life, and my hope of escaping seems to get dimmer and dimmer. It's all my fault that things have ended up this way, and it makes it worse. Everything feels like a waste. It's finally dawning on me that I'm very depressed. I thought I wasn't because my schedule is very routinized and outwardly stable, but I feel like a robot running a script waiting for a miracle that will never come. I want a job, some friends, and my own place. That's really all I want. It feels so simple, but it also feels hopeless. I am feeling so much despair, but self-pity is a waste of time too.
No. 1953832
File: 1712440523238.webp (745.19 KB, 2000x2000, 31A2DD6B-EFFF-4E71-8CAC-DD99BF…)
>>1952056Ayrt, I’m sorry anon. I’m glad you were able to move on. I guess I’m so depressed because until her, I went my whole life without ever having feelings for anyone. It felt like an alien concept to me. I was convinced I would always be loveless and I was content like that because I’d never had a taste of falling for someone. Then when out of the blue I did, it was the happiest time in my entire life, but just as quickly as it happened it all came crashing down. It’s been almost two years since, and not a single other person has caught my eye, just like how it’s always been. She was special, like she was designed just for me to love. I never minded being loveless before, but now that o had a taste I can’t go back to being happy this way. I just keep remembering how I felt for those few brief months and it’s like comparing a tropical paradise to the Antarctic winter. The thought that I have to live in Antarctica for probably many, many more years, possibly for the rest of my life, I’d unbearable to me. I can’t cope. I desperately with I was normal and could find someone else like other people do, but I can’t even picture someone I would be interested in other than her, because she’s the only one in my whole nearly 30 years I ever felt anything for. I almost wish none of it ever happened so I could continue to live in Antarctica happily.
No. 1954214
File: 1712454090593.jpg (409.37 KB, 1400x845, 1000005834.jpg)
A man literally got upset when an animal specialist was explaining a species of Gorilla (western lowland Gorillas) has the female choose a younger, stronger ape after a few years of being with the same male to make healthy offspring. He literally got upset avoid it. Men are pathetic. Based female Gorilla and animal specialist (who was a woman too.) Reminds me of men who never get their male dogs neutered because they take it personally. Pic of cute gorilla and her baby
No. 1954222
File: 1712454678018.jpg (55.1 KB, 736x981, e10b13f89edfea309acaccae6c0316…)
>tfw with someone who was my first everything and taught me so much and who I love, but not sure if I should leave to explore since he's all I know but know the dating pool has piss in it and idk if I want to put effort into a new romantic relationship
No. 1954233
Maladaptive daydreaming ruined my life. I had a near death experience at 16 and my reaction to that was
>If I might die any moment, why try to do anything?
So I started to imagine good things happening to me. No one talked to me about what happened and I didn't even put the word "trauma" on it until years later. I was already living in imaginary worlds since childhood because my mom never let me do anything and I couldn't even watch TV for longer than half an hour every day. It would be good if she encouraged my hobbies but she shot down everything. So since childhood I've had nothing to do but daydream. I could still live and go to school etc though. Then at 16 I got so detached from life. I remember an exact moment I snapped out of my trance, months after what happened, because someone in my class was making fun of it. It's like I didn't even live those months. I found it hard to get up and go to school and do homework, but I could still force myself to do it. Maybe because I knew my parents would fuck my shit up if I didn't. I stopped dreaming about what I wanted my future to look like and started dreaming about alternate presents. If I could dream anything, I could live in any world I wanted. I spent most of my time daydreaming, only got fuel to fulfill responsibilities last minute. I winged everything. I even got into a uni. And at uni, they don't talk to your parents. So I stopped doing stuff slowly. It was shame that fueled me to do work at first, knowing my prof would judge me for it but I saw people not care so I realized I can do whatever I want. So I gave up. Covid made it easier. I've been enrolled for 6 years, I haven't done anything. It's awful. Now I'm aware I need to get a job and move out. But even when the panic rises up I can't snap my brain into reality. I can't wake up and think of things that need to be done. My brain automatically dreams of a life where I have a loving spouse, a job I love, friends I love. I just dream dream dream. It's like reality is a disease my immune system is instantly protecting me from. I guess it's a trauma response I developed to deal with that trauma (tiktok words, idk) but I don't know to get rid of it. It was there for me when I was a child with nothing to do, it was there for me when reality was too cruel to face. I know I need to go back to reality but why even try when I can rot and still dream of a good life? I can't find a way to see reality and deal with it. I sometimes go out and do little things but they're not enough. I just recede back into my shell. The room is small but my imagination is endless when I don't have a life to distract me.
No. 1954242
Tired of people constantly criticizing me and painting me as this big bad person just for having basic boundaries and opinions, when all I've done is be too nice and tolerant all my life to everyone, sacrifice my time and well being, and had to actively force myself to create those boundaries, which even then I still suck at maintaining sometimes for being too nice or feeling too much compassion for others despite how shitty they are towards me. Like it's hilarious being told I need to have more compassion unironically by other people (especially men lol), just because I was upset about their shitty behavior and called them out, when a lot of my problems stem from having too much of it in the first place, much more than any man and most women I talk to. In general I'm sick of being a nice person to everyone but never really receiving the same energy back and it's not even that I expect a pat on the back but not being treated like shit and having people acknowledge and appreciate me instead of shitting all over me constantly and claiming I'm some evil bitch somehow when I've literally done nothing but be insanely nice and tolerant would be cool. I feel like anyone in my position would've stopped being nice at all a long time ago since it seems like all I get in return is people being assholes towards me, and it's only because I value being kind that I don't treat others like they treat me in the first place…And it's just ironic because anyone who's criticized me is usually 500 times worse or more of an asshole than I could ever be, but they'll tell me i'm the selfish, self centered one while being insanely self centered and selfish themselves, and it just feels like projection every single time
No. 1954318
File: 1712466260899.png (2.95 MB, 2170x1680, 6z9kbk.png)
how to get over the fear that my friends are abandoning me and secretly don't want to talk to me. i have attachment issues because i've been cheated on / lied to a lot and it's hard not to bring that into every relationship now.
one of my close friends has a different job now and we don't talk almost every day like we used to and i'm so scared of losing him, i don't know what i'd do honestly.
No. 1954357
File: 1712469568375.jpg (34.81 KB, 567x542, 1687453499624.jpg)
>>1953140feel like pure shit, just want dumbass thread back.
No. 1954425
>>1954408kek
nonnie i just have some hobbies i traded for lolcow and codependency thats what i meant. things im doing again lately. i cant find a healthy medium with lolcow but i wish i did so i could interact with others. i chickened out of organizing a movie night because it feel odd. maybe this sounds silly
No. 1954459
File: 1712475804870.jpg (302.38 KB, 2365x1533, ariana-grande-yes-and-tgj-2480…)
Cringe but I'm starting to believe that Ariana Grande is right and I should just "yes, and?" people who dislike me and not give a shit. I'm in a situation where someone dislikes me a lot and if she can be disliked by thousands of people and still unapologetically date ratman spongepoo then maybe I can also start saying "yes, and?"
No. 1954574
>>1954566You have to find community spaces centered on common belief, charity spaces. This is the most viable way to engage in active kindness and find lots of other people to trust in. People are still imperfect and often suck, but it’s a start.
If you can’t find places like that which attract people who share your values, you can still be kind to an extent with boundaries. Take it slow with people and if they show red flags you can pull back and put distance there, if they turn out to be great then you lean in more and show more kindness and strengthen the bonds there.
No. 1954609
File: 1712491019783.jpg (70.36 KB, 458x612, 2PW00WA.jpg)
Holy shit i hate myself so much. What did i catch in 2024? Why did i start to unconsciously do this stupid duck face when i'm focusing or using some strenght to move something
I NEED TO STOP this is so stupid
No. 1954630
File: 1712492638225.jpg (26.36 KB, 400x292, GKK0UqOaIAAUKAG.jpg.jpg)
Holy fuck my dog has been so clingy lately. She constantly wants to get held while I'm at the desk trying to work. I can't even take a shit without her jumping off the sofa to sit in front of the bathroom door and wait for me. When I go to the kitchen to make a quick sandwich, she comes with me. Not to beg for food, but just to stand around in the hallway and watch.
It's not even her fault but my dad's for coddling her whenever she's at my parents while I'm busy during the day. It's always so obvious when she spent a lot of time with my parents because she forgets all her training and rules.
God I hate how my dad doesn't understand that dogs need consistency and structure or they get confused and don't know wtf is going on, resulting in this type of obnoxious behavior. What pisses me off the most is he often walks her without putting her on the leash, she's a good girl and wouldn't run off, but I've told him a million times not to do it anyway because dogs are unpredictable idiots and I don't want her getting spooked and charge into the street. Fucking retard
No. 1954642
>>1954635I agree, my dog is just a little bichon mix but even then, kids are small and could still get scared, especially if they've had bad experiences. I've been jumped on by random shit ass huge dogs and bitten when I was a child so I fully understand. I don't even get the point of taking dogs for off leash walks in suburbs/urban areas, it can only spell trouble and it's not like it cuts down on the time and distance you spend walking.
>>1954641Disrespect him all you want nona, he deserves it and really is a retard. And there's a fucking pitbull (also often off leash because OF COURSE) in my neighborhood, like how braindead can you get to let a 4kg dog run around when one of those creatures might be around the corner.
No. 1954779
File: 1712506082757.jpg (126.67 KB, 1024x576, Untitled272.jpg)
>>1954738KEK I had to go back just to fish out a relic
No. 1954799
>>1954671it was quite cozy and milk filled before the enstar fagtard started spaming pyw! pyw! and the /ic/ refugees started camping in the thread to always sperg on some
nonnie who didnt want to draw shotas.
seems like the retard is a huge cow in ic as well kek you know its bad when the lolicon art pedos dont want to see your art No. 1954818
File: 1712507939854.jpg (33.91 KB, 252x316, 1668616260996.jpg)
I want to have one of my Sims meet someone new and fall in love/marry/have kids/etc, but all the townies are fucking ugly. I don't want my Sims mixing with them. I wish there was a built-in option to customize all the NPCs' appearances, and then just set them loose.
No. 1954826
This is not a vent perse, since I'm not angry. I'm just sad, cause I found out a vlog youtuber I followed deleted all of her videos recently…
She was about to go to uni, she is a teen, and her videos weren't profesionally edited or super curated. Just her showing how she studied, her daily routine, making "getting ready with me" videos, etc. I started watching her videos by chance thanks to Youtube, because her channel was really small. She wasn't really into makeup either, she dressed nicely but also not over the top.
I was going through a rough time in my life, dealing with a bad depressive episode. So seeing her, being all excited about life and the future and dressing up to go out with her friends reminded me of my teen self and idk. This may be cringe, but I got some tips from her, like making lists out of everything (like, writing down you have to cut your nails or organize your desk, even if those are small tasks) and I strived to be more like her. Nowadays, I'm in a much better place mentally, and I guess it's partly thanks to seeing her be all upbeat and looking like she had her shit together. I wish she had continued uploading videos to Youtube. I'm now trying to find a similar youtube channel, but it's a bit difficult, all the recs are in English and I would like to follow a girl from my country. On top of that, most of the content creators from my country seem to be obnoxious, either talking about being a witch, talking about retarded personal crap I don't care about, publishing stupid half-assed books or focusing too much on makeup and consooming fast fashion. Sigh.
No. 1954930
File: 1712514801007.gif (1006.68 KB, 500x341, 1700423457580.gif)
I'm seriously considering quitting my job and taking a long break from work just to get some rest and maybe play video games I had in my backlog for years, read the books I still haven't read yet, travel during seasons when it's the cheapest, etc. I wanted to get an apartment but finding anything is hell in my city nowadays so I'm still with my parents. At the same time that means not paying rent at all, only helping with bills and groceries. And if I quit by myself instead of being fired I won't be able to earn unemployment benefits and it represents a pretty big part of my salary that's taken away as taxes every month, just thinking about it pisses me off. And obviously, the reason why I'm considering all of this in the first place is because I hate my job, I feel like the whole project and the company is a huge sinking ship and it's a miracle I stayed for nearly three years without having a mental breakdown. I stopped being ambitious long ago anyway because of people ruining opportunities for me as soon as I started uni just because they're racist towards me and think I'm a drooling, unreliable retard for being a woman and for having a slightly darker skin than them. Fuck that. Fuck work.
No. 1954934
File: 1712514913980.jpg (8.13 KB, 301x167, aqua_scream.jpg)
>Puked up a lot of blood and went to into A&E about 4 weeks ago.
>They kept me over night and said my levels look ok so they discharged me. They'll schedule a gastroscopy (stomach scope).
>Got my gastroscopy yesterday. Cam down the throat. Most fun ever. Peed myself while I was under and sent some deranged Snapchats while I was coming down from what I found out was fucking fentanyl.
>As I'm getting discharged Nurse says I'll need another session with a Doctor. She said I didn't look too bad but I'll have to wait for him to give me the results. Can't say anything conclusive because she doesn't know.
What was it? What is bad? Tell me! I've got private insurance! What is going on? I know it's not too bad if I got out of A&E with Nexium but like what should I eat, what shouldn't I? Am I digesting myself right now? I've been freaking out over any minor stomach cramp. Blood puke doesn't come out of nowhere. It'll be another month before I see my results doctor.
No. 1955001
>>1954992The classic baitpost where a nonna is supposedly uber radfem but somehow is still a kept woman who admits she can’t leave him because of money, either because she doesn’t want to or can’t because she thought being financially dependent on
any man was a good idea kekw.
No. 1955054
>>1955048Yeah I got the bereavement fares and it was like 40% off so I only spent $700 but still I'm on tardbux this is still expensive for me KEK. We have a death benefit in my country so at least I don't have to pay for the cremation out of pocket.
>>1955036I love you too nona!
No. 1955065
File: 1712522470888.png (4.23 MB, 4096x2726, bland food.png)
I live with my dad who only cooks THE most bland boring white people food you can imagine. It's not even that he's just bad at it and doesn't know how to cook, he keeps arguing that if you just cook a cod with minimal salt and eat it with some spaghetti or rice it's totally delicious and great food. No condiments, no other seasoning, no salad or side dishes. Just a plain white fish and spaghetti. It tastes like fucking nothing nonas.
Maybe I am just spoiled because sure it IS food, but I've had disordered eating patterns in the past (I don' think it ever got bad enough to truly be called a real ED) so to me eating food that doesn't even taste good is a massive waste of calories. It truly stresses me out and is an unpleasant experience. I cannot imagine anything worse then being fat from gross food you don't even enjoy eating, like if I'm gonna be "fat" then the food have to be worth it! I have a hard time talking to my dad about it but whenever I try he just says I'm fuzzy and spoiled for not liking "perfectly tasty food" and rolls his eyes at me.
Just for the record I do cook too, and way more than my dad since we don't always eat together (he always eats out at lunch and is pretty often too full to even care about having a proper dinner in the evening so he just grabs a snack). I just don't ALWAYS feel like cooking, unlike him I can't afford to eat out at lunch so I have to cook all my lunches myself + dinners.
No. 1955260
>>1955151>I'm curious nona, this happens to you in cycles?It used to, hard to say for how long exactly. But it got much worse, I suspect due to external circumstances and stress, and I can't change it. It probably helps me to stay sane but it's clearly maladaptive and it starts worrying me. It also exacerbates during luteal phase because it just makes everything worse in general, and at these times I want to sleep all the time just like you.
I have to say I'm not consistent with self-care and all that, even though basic recs for mental health do help me I think. It doesn't help with distancing much but at least I feel better. It's just really easy to slip into rotting mode, and once I'm there I'm overly pessimistic and hopeless. Have you tried to improve your condition somehow, nona?
No. 1955336
My sister's supposed to be leaving on a trip in the next few hours and I just heard her husband screaming at the top of his lungs yet again, calling her bitch and saying he hates her. I have no idea or care for why he gets to that point because no matter what that's my sister and nieces he's scaring, but idk what to do. He does it only when I'm the only other person home, and her kids always walk downstairs and call for her so those two little kids know somethings wrong. I've pretended to not be able to hear due to my headphones for months and not give it away, but never recorded anything. My parents are both gone until at least midnight and I know calling to tell them will make them call my sister, then my advantage will be gone and he might come and confront me. I think my sister will deny it and tell my to mind my business but I really don't feel safe not telling anyone when they're going to be gone for a while. I just don't want to be the cause of my family getting hurt if he goes crazy or be forced to keep living alongside him if nothing changes after I tell someone and make myself feel unsafe in my own home. He already has an ex and kid he left behind and always complained about having to watch years ago, if I tell anyone either he goes fucking crazy like men do and kills someone or all of us, sis becomes a single sahm or forced to work, or sis denies it and nothing changes other than my advantage of noone thinking I can hear what's going on dissapears. As I wrote this it looks like only my mom will be coming home soon, so there's the added danger of her being killed too, not even the big dog will change a thing because he's the only person who really scarres him.
No. 1955359
File: 1712538968834.jpg (81.76 KB, 639x752, tumblr_0133390e750496884ce3041…)
>>1955336Samefag I heard them weeks ago arguing about divorce and him saying he hates her, I don't even think that saying I heard that might make her change her mind if she's set on trying to keep her family together or doesn't even mean what she says. She has nowhere to go but our house and he just got a warehouse job much much closer to home so we'll be seeing him either outcome. Beating myself up rn for not recording but each time I'm a ball of adrenaline trying to listen for hitting or fighting or my sister screaming in pain, thankfully I've head none this far but tonight I did hear things falling on the floor like he pushed them over. I just had my dinner joking around with my older sis and I'm pissed I have to sit here and think about all these scenarios because of a stupid man who shouldn't be here. Every door close I can barely hear for the past 15 minutes after they stopped makes me tense up. I have a feeling my dad will stop getting angry when I say I'll never marry after I reveal all this but I don't know if I have the strength to tell anyone tonight or if it's even the right time since apparently THEY ALREADY FUCKING LEFT. Now if they call up and ask what the hell's going on she'll be alone with two kids and I won't be able to hear or have evidence of anything so I guess I'm forced into silence for the time being.
No. 1955431
File: 1712543199381.jpg (124.49 KB, 717x983, 1000017675.jpg)
My parents won't stop asking for me to get a job as if I wasn't trying to find one. If this shit keeps going on, I'm going to put my fucking degree in a drawer and I will go work at some store selling shit, because I'm sick of trying to understand what the fuck does anyone wants from anyone.
They get mad at me because I get frustrated because it's hard to find a job that isn't absolutely shit or retarded or that isn't from the stupid ass degree I had to get, I want to kill myself whenever I check websites with job postings because they're always the same shit
>programmer
>social media something
>now AI shit like AI training
>teaching little kids
>shit websites to teach people for less than a penny
>law jobs
>accounting jobs
>human resources
>graphic design
>shit telemarketing bullshit jobs that also pay you less than a penny
Like what do I even do? I should start selling feet pics at this point, I feel fucking useless, I want to die.
And yeah, I have two people interested in hiring me to work by teaching English, but like, I haven't been interviewed yet and I don't know how much they may want to pay me. But they're acting like I'm just sitting here waiting for the jobs to fall on my lap when I just tell them the truth, the jobs being offered in my country are absolutely braindead retarded and I want to kill myself.
It's not my fault I haven't been hired anywhere yet, my brother just had luck and my family gets mad when you say so but like, if it wasn't because my mom knew the manager of some huge company, he would've had to go through this shit like me, but he got lucky and get hired when he was still studying, so of course he began making money earlier than me.
Seriously, if I died, I wouldn't have to worry about anything and they wouldn't have to worry about anything either, I wish I had a very violent and nasty cancer that could kill me quickly so this could be over with.
And I know they're comparing me to my brother and my cousins, and yeah, having a very depressed cousin is helping me seem more responsible, but they're still comparing me to my brother and my other cousin that have been successful.
I don't even know what to do, I always have to wait for the school year to end in order to at least hope to get interviewed because
>being a teacher is what you were born to do
No I wasn't
>you love teaching!!!
No I don't
>You're amazing at teaching
I don't even know, I just do what common sense tells you to do, but going to school to teach kids makes me want to violently kill myself, I've hated the idea of teaching ever since I got bullied for most of my childhood at school, already back then I knew that kids and teenagers are the worst shit ever, I knew that I'd never want to deal with people, ever.
I just wanted to become an editor and translator for books and magazines, I wanted to be locked in an office, not interacting with people at all, maybe once a month if it was extremely necessary.
I want to die, I hope I don't wake up tomorrow.
No. 1955445
File: 1712544365483.jpeg (76.92 KB, 750x600, IMG_7293.jpeg)
I'm pissed. My mom in all her crazy glory decided a tumbler I gave my father years ago had "evil symbols" on it and without his permission, sharpied them black. Like wtf? It was a gift to him not her. I got it to come off, thank you internet, but it pisses me off when she does shit like this. It boils down to a respect issue. Guess me and my dad don't deserve any because we don't validate every insane thing she spouts. Btw, tomorrow is supposedly evil because of the eclipse. She gives me migraines.
No. 1955447
File: 1712544500732.jpg (106.52 KB, 900x900, 1706396238758.jpg)
>go into a discord for one of my favorite game series
>the devs don't interact at all besides posting announcements, mods are absent
>it's a hellhole of incels posting racist sexist shit constantly
well that sucks
No. 1955478
File: 1712547040642.jpeg (132.99 KB, 956x944, IMG_1917.jpeg)
Being suicidal from a young age really just makes my brain hop to killing myself at the first sign of trouble. Headache? Kill yourself. Broke? Kill yourself. Don’t wanna do the dishes? Kill yourself. My brain never developed problem solving skills cause I’m 100% sure that if a problem is bad enough, I can just lull myself to get out of it. Idk how to undo this, suicide is quite literally a reflex for me.
No. 1955646
File: 1712562390880.jpg (31.32 KB, 555x553, images-1.jpg)
I'm starting to think that I'm a void of darkness and I can only hurt people and make them miserable like I am. I have hurt people and they have hurt me back. I think I deserve to die, I've been watching suicide videos and thinking that could be me. I'm in the darkest spot I've ever been in my life and I genuinely thing I should be put down like a dog. I think I can't bring happiness I can only bring stupidity and pain. No one should get close to me. I am not doing ok. I am not ok. If I die at least my only comfort is that I made nice banners for this website. I want a chubby Pikachu plush and a hug. That's all.
No. 1955747
File: 1712573006428.jpeg (61.16 KB, 492x440, IMG_8702.jpeg)
The lack of reading comprehension when reading the celebricows thread is so fucking frustrating
No. 1955847
>>1955260Gonna pay attention to my menstraul cycle cause somehow forget how important is to mood/mental state.
Also same with the external conditions out of our control, you end up tired of having to wait and hope for better times.
Yeah its so easy to slip into rotten mode, nowadays I have uni as a kind of anchor that forces me on somehow keep with self-care, talk with my friends group to study, and in general have a strict routine. But is like wearing a mask, once I get home and finish all my "homework" I'm just left floating in the void.
I haven't tried anything really, I'm stuck in that mindset of "eventually I'll feel better if I keep things doing right".
I hope you get better soon nona and that external circumstances change in your favour.
No. 1955885
>>1955871If she doesn't usually behave that way, then yes, it's because of grief. Grief fucks you up pretty bad, and many people use sex as a way to distract themselves and to feel closer to others. She might even be using drugs or drinking, who knows.
If she does usually behave that way, she's an insane BPD-chan and you should run and never look back.
No. 1955897
>>1955435I didn’t make a longer post last night god I have to. It’s 9 am. They are back at it. It’s fucking loud. I am tired. Idk what apartment it is but I am so close at going up there.
i am in a downstairs with an upstairs apartment above. i get i will hear stomping and noise sometimes but this is.. not excusable. someone above me has a kid. there's no way its not a kid. i have heard them yelling a few times. sometimes this will stop for a few days so i assume they either have partial custody or this is a visit to grandmas or smthin.
they will run.
back and forth
for
fucking
HOURS. i dont think this kid WALKS at ALL
they will jump in place in many spots of the apartment. the favored spots are actually ABOVE THE LIGHT FIXTURES IN MY ROOM (plus kitchen) and shake them so fricking hard.
they once woke me up at 5 am doing it. kept me up. didnt stop until midnight. if they stop it may be for about an hour or 2, if they are finally asleep, during school hours and randomly for about 3 days during the week (like Wednesday Thursday, Friday)
i was in call with a friend and he could hear it (it was in my bedroom. jumping up and down. my computer where i was at is in a whole other room). I just moved here so i feel bad but hours on end. i get it. a kid. they dont know better. i was an upstairs apartment kid once too but nonstop? for hours? how are they not getting frustrated too? i don’t care if this kid is autistic or has special needs. head phones (noise canceling ones barely do anything too btw) do not cover it. neither does my sound machine. it’s not only sensory fucking hell for me. it’s keeping me awake!!! i am so fucking grouchy all the fucking time because they wake me up. it’s actually fucking frustrating. just fucking insane i dont even know what the answer is but this is fucking RIDICULOUS . i am about to go up there.
No. 1955950
>>1955543I'm hugging you through the screen,
nonnie.
No. 1955975
I hate how communities online about art and especially 3d art are so full of moids, like tons of professionals, teachers, artists are moids catering to other moids. When they share their art, it's full of sexualized women, overly realistic to the point of autistic realism 3d art (like not tasteful, just realistic for the sake of realistic so it's just ugly), autistic male interests. I don't feel comfortable asking them about something related to 3d or anything really. It's so annoying, I want women only spaces for everything, idc anymore. Like, I know I should just ignore it, but i can't stop noticing maleness in everything they do and say which just annoys me. I just hate moids, kek.
No. 1955979
File: 1712590910883.jpeg (1.53 MB, 1225x984, IMG_3784.jpeg)
Sometimes, I remember the fact that my relationship is over because of a crappy Baldurs Gate 3 screenshot and don’t know how to feel. Life can be absurd.
No. 1956046
>>1955954Same tbh
>>1955575>I would try to stop her from marrying my grandfatherI would personally shoot the motherfucker I don't care if that means I would die as well, the amount of times I've fantasized with this scenario is not healthy
No. 1956068
File: 1712596406147.png (22.76 KB, 487x286, sowhatshouldijustfuckingkillmy…)
>>1956054samefag oh my god
No. 1956073
Why is april 8th always the worst day of the year? It has nothing to do with april or spring or whatever, it's just a day that's always horrible in one way or another.
>>1956054I'm so sorry anon. I hope you can get some okay sleep.
No. 1956080
File: 1712597205097.jpg (35.31 KB, 299x300, On_avery_island_album_cover.jp…)
>>1956073Neutral Milk Hotel even has a song about today. It's shitty. Fuck Spring and fuck April.
No. 1956113
>>1956080Just listened to it, it sounds like it should be on one of those 90s radio 'grunge' compilations along with REM. Weirdly comforting tho, thanks
nonnie.
No. 1956142
File: 1712600838631.jpg (34.92 KB, 343x400, bb70b22e8dd77f49d713ca85fbe80d…)
Yesterday I went to a random new mall at my city and I felt so overwhelmed. Most people in my country are mestizo/native like myself, we also don't have a lot of money so I'm used to share spaces and "humble" malls with similar individuals which ain't that bad tbh. This new mall though it was full of straight up Aryan people, like, authentic white European descent people which I wouldn't mind if not for the fact that despite acting annoyingly patriotic about a country they got no connection to I've never seen them at anywhere else but these mega malls and affluent areas where they casually spawn, they barely interact with the reality most of us face as they've the generational money to pay the insane, "money laundering" tier prices here yet get mad when you dare mention it, it felt like visiting a secret club of sorts. They looked so well-off it made me feel self-conscious of my own circumstances and even origins, I don't think I'll ever see the money these people casually expend on daily basis on big meal combos and imported stuff, they literally live what could be described as a dream for 80% of us. Dad was very overwhelmed too, he couldn't pinpoint exactly why but he felt like he was "on another country" or something. Very awful experience, i wasn't expecting to see the realities of class disparity and racial segregation so directly damn
No. 1956221
File: 1712606543378.jpg (46.95 KB, 417x578, af198de65ea8613d2178dc5f2cdc66…)
Today's going dogshit. People suck so fucking much. First two people were rude to me for no reason, they probably had to take it out on someone who looks "weak". Then a friend of mine contacted me…after basically ghosting me for a fucking year. I had given up on trying to talk to her. I replied, naively thinking my friend wanted to talk to me and catch up. After some small talk the truth comes out: "uhh so I think I have ADHD symptoms and wanted to ask you about it…"
Kek so I exist only when you want help with something right? Fuck all of them
No. 1956300
File: 1712610966921.jpg (112.08 KB, 736x725, 958f1d2c2c5ac088230b1b71ec64e3…)
This pic sums up my mood for the last decade tbh
>>1956291Proceed
very carefully, cause the more you involve yourself the chances of getting hurt too by that moid go up. Be there for her, offer her advice but remember that she's the one dating this man, it's on her to see reality one day but it's not going to be soon
No. 1956316
>>1956309Samefag but to add onto it, it feels weird to tell people I have a limit to what I can do because I have a chronic illness, bc it doesn’t feel serious.
Compared to a lot of other illness’, it’s relatively easily treatable with a daily morning pill and my TSH levels are normal so it shouldn’t be affecting me theoretically. But I’d feel like such an annoying spoonie telling people I have a chronic illness that makes me tired easily.
No. 1956352
File: 1712614628672.jpeg (45.34 KB, 247x275, IMG_9782.jpeg)
my ex girlfriend who treated me terribly is trying to get back into my life again, she ruined me and my hope for future relationships but she gave me so much attention and love bombed the shit out of me i can’t help but miss it. even my other friends have started to pay less attention to me and out no more effort into our friendship and i’m so deprived of attention i just might
i don’t really wanna go into detail what she did to me but she was extremely abusive and controlling but i don’t know. i guess i just miss the attention she gave me. i think i need to be put down.
No. 1956356
File: 1712614828612.jpg (111.86 KB, 610x437, Cant stand the McMansionSHit.j…)
I can't stand when people try to argue with me at work. Potential tenants apply for these rentals, and are somehow shocked that they must provide proof of income and pass a background check.
Today I let a potential tenant know that their application came back with an eviction- and she called me screaming, calling me a liar.
Like bitch, what? There is a case number and court information that backs up the report.
I am not lying to you, I am not judging you, I am INFORMING you. And, if by happen stance, it is an error- JUST CALL THE COURTHOUSE AND ADDRESS IT.
Do not cuss me out.I am not the landlord. I am an office manager, processing applications and setting up tours. I am not setting the price on these properties. I am not profiting from the rent increases. I am working a job to pay my bills- just like you.
Also DONT APPLY FOR PLACES YOU CANNOT AFFORD/ PROVE INCOME FOR!!! There are so many options locally that are more affordable. Quit fucking living outside your means and trying to rent a place you cant afford. If your income is only 2k a month… YOU CANT AFFORD A PLACE THAT IS 1650 A MONTH. YOU SIMPLY CANNOT.
It's not rocket science! You don't need the fancy house in the fancy neighborhood.There are plenty of options that fit your income. GO APPLY THERE. You also lease a mercedes benz (reported to be a payment of 800/month) and have worn 3 different wigs to the office this week alone… like bitch, this shit adds up.
You are living outside your means! Any rental company would look at your dismal credit score, your eviction history, and your general attitude and reject you!
Dont call me dusty because I live within my financial means. I thrift, I drive a 20 year old car, and I work 2 jobs. I don't live in the fancy houses- I live 20 minutes outside the city so I can afford to pay my bills and have a great credit score.
GOD DAMN. I can't stand vain entitled bitches. Dont! Apply! Above! Your! Means!
AND DONT PHOTOSHOP PAY STUBS ITS TOO FUCKING OBVIOUS. YOUR INCOME WILL! BE! VERIFIED!
A litteral Vicky Shingleton in the Wild.
You played yourself,quit living outside your financial means willingly.
No. 1956385
>>1956362why do you say that
nonnie? because she killed herself? wouldnt i be just as bad then?
No. 1956396
>>1956311>im too young to get surgery to fix my hormones This shit always makes me so mad. I'm sorry to hear it,
nonnie. I struggle with feeling my literal worst on my period as well. When I go to the gynecologist they just ask me when the last time I had sex was (literal ages ago) and then they ask me if I want birth control and send me on my way. It's so hard to get any kind of comprehensive care for pmdd or other issues with your uterus. I really feel for you.
No. 1956538
File: 1712625668818.jpg (50.96 KB, 735x575, 1000015465.jpg)
>standing outside with my sister, parents, and even extended relatives
>shades on, watching the moon slowly cover the sun
>little relatives want me to explain how important/cool the sun is
>I explain basic facts about the sun
>mom chimes in to mock my voice, word for word
>I dont say anything, but I'm wondering wtf her problem is
>the moon is almost completely covering the sun now
>my mom spends the next few minutes making passive-aggressive comments about me, calling me a "lazy grouch who would've missed the eclipse if it weren't for her mother", when all I was doing this morning was eating breakfast and straightening my room
>eclipse happens
>the most beautiful sky and nature moment I've ever seen in my entire life
>moon begins to move out of the sun's way
>after capturing the sky and the eclipse with my phone, I carefully record the sun's light returning with the eclipse shades over my eyes
>my mother chimes in again
>"sure, go ahead and be dumb by recording the sun's light on your phone, you're gonna go blind if you watch the video"
>I lose it and snap at my mom to shut up and let me enjoy the eclipse
>she snickers like a petty school girl and repeats that I'm an idiot for just wanting to capture the sun's light brightening up the area again
I truly hate my mother's personality. She is the pettiest, most bitter, unnecessarily rude, and overall just worst person I've ever known in my entire life. I didn't do anything to make her upset in months, I always help her when she asks me for help, and I always try to be as patient as I can. But no. Even on the most beautiful day of 2024, she still has time to be a bullying womanchild for no rhyme or reason. I'll have to mute my eclipse videos because they all captured my mother's irritating passive-aggressiveness towards me. I just wanted to watch the fucking moon pass over the sun, and I can't even truly enjoy it because since I was a small child, she's been addicted to making me feel like shit, and throwing as many wrenches in whatever gorgeous moments I try to get for myself. Not a single time where we go out to eat, to a state fair, to go bowling, to a party, or anywhere major has existed without my mother trying to start some shit with me, while trying to convince everybody that I'm "a problem child". I hate my mother's personality. I hate her. I care about her, but I fucking hate the person she is. I spent years carrying all the emotional incest she put on me since the day I was born on her dead mother's birthday, and to this very day, even on something as beautiful as a total Solar Eclipse, my mother cannot stop trying to put me down and make me feel like all my efforts of loving and trying to understand her was a waste. What is the point of liking or even loving my mother when a CPS intervention and a decade-long series of verbal and mental abuse was all I really get? I wanted to move out, and I did once. But no. I had to go back, because my mom told EVERY-FUCKING-BODY that she became severely depressed and suicidal, and wouldn't get better until I moved back. Well I loved her, so I came back, but this unrelenting passive-aggression and incomprehensible grudge is still my reward…
I can't fucking do it anymore. I really can't. I can't make excuses for her anymore. I can't keep loving her anymore. I can't convince myself that I need to somehow apologize on my dead grandmother's behalf anymore. When I move, I'm gonna move hard and never look back. I'll enjoy the next total Solar Eclipse of 2044 without her.
No. 1956559
>>1956538Nonna, I cut my mom out in 2019 for being an
abusive narc, and my life is better for it.
You deserve better support in your life.
No. 1956573
File: 1712630094069.jpg (14.9 KB, 600x431, 1647789362804.jpg)
my wife got a haircut and the cashier at the grocery store we go to every week asked if her pronouns had changed
No. 1956605
>>1955646Be strong
nonnie. Get yourself a big pikachu plush and take care of yourself. This feeling will pass.
No. 1956623
>>1956573How fucking tiresome. Hate all of these gendie retards to absolute death.
>Homophobia in the 90s: "Whoa you dyke, you look like a dude"
>Homophobia in the 20s: "Whoa..uh xir, your pronouns must be male now?"Because clearly the only thing that separates you from being a scrote is the length of your hair. The more shorterer the hair the more maler you are yes.
No. 1956642
File: 1712634964903.jpg (43.77 KB, 735x539, cdf0b38ae40fbc8fd2445e160b05cf…)
I've a problem: I cannot find a man who looks like he has no eyebrows (his eyebrows are so light they're not visible) nor lips (thin lips) and is a lanklet, you get me? I don't know how to explain this look but I like it yet I cannot pinpoint exactly what archetype is this, I simply just know when a man is attractive to me (lacks eyebrows and lips + is a lanklet)
No. 1956902
Sometimes I feel like I give off really bad vibes, I used to be so good with animals and kids that they would naturally gravitate towards me. They’re very receptive of peoples moods and “energies” so to speak, so I would always feel really honoured that they like being around me. At family get togethers the youngest ones would always want to hangout with me, the dogs would follow me around too. In public kids would always smile at me, random cats on the street would always let me pet them. But over the past few years I feel like that’s changed, my rescue cat isn’t very cuddly and I feel he’s annoyed by me a lot of the time. He always hangs out near me and lets me pet him a little, he also plays with me and when I go outside he’ll hang out near me too. I don’t really see my extended family much anymore, and I feel like the random cats I see around my house are afraid of me now. The other day I was at a restaurant and I saw this baby looking at me, I smiled at her and she smiled back and started waving her arms up and down all excited, so that was a relief. I wonder what changed and how I can make sure I’m giving off nice vibes, it sounds dumb but I want to have good energy and I want people and animals to feel like I’m a good presence to be around.
No. 1956931
Obviously, this is a me problem, but I realised that I basically hate 95% of modern fandom. The idiotic "xyz-coded" arguments, the age gap screeching, the transing, the slew of modern AU in which the only thing the characters have in common with the canon counterparts are their names.
Trying to actively engage in fandom actually made me so miserable that I had to leave. Again, my problem, I guess I'm just too old, but not having someone to fangirl with can be a bit lonely. I still write my own stories, but I've even given up posting them because what's even the point…
So yeah, fuck modern fandom. Those kids are not alright.
No. 1957107
File: 1712670653820.png (97.06 KB, 276x298, kagami.png)
Stop with the meetings. I've been in non stop meetings all morning and I've got two more after lunch. I think I've said like ten words. Don't invite me. Let me do my job. I'm going to have to work late to close my tickets because of this stupid shit.
No. 1957126
File: 1712671243742.png (2.43 MB, 1280x960, IMG_5070.png)
I messed something up at work and I feel so fucking stupid because I was even warned to double check everything since there’s one part that I really need to make sure is correct but I thought I had it and rushed everything and now I have to deal with the humiliation of admitting that I’m a dumbass who struggles to follow direction and I need help to fix this.