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File: 1696292013700.jpg (66.52 KB, 700x500, 924e9bea099bca9e9195ec07e9ef8e…)

No. 1714003

A Thread for former NEETs who escaped the NEET lifestyle and are trying to stay out and current NEETs who wish who want to get out of NEETdom

This is not a thread for wilful NEETs

Topics regarding NEETdom may include but are not limited to:
>Reasons why you became a NEET and why you want to leave it.
>Little things that motivate your escape/recovery.
>Changes that you face regarding leaving NEETdom.
>What made you slip up on your NEETdom escape/recovery.
>Asking for advice/help.
>Your success at becoming a normie.

Previous thread
#1 >>>/ot/472051

No. 1714008

I like the picture

No. 1714010

I didn't want to screencap some anon's story for the thread pic like in the first thread so I hope the image I chose will suffice. Another thing I didn't do was link to the NEETs general thread as two groups you guys wants different things in life and wilful NEET may drag you down to NEETdom again.

No. 1714097

I graduated from college two years ago and haven't had a full-time job since then, have no internship experience either. I half assed the job search but due to mental illness and stress around my parents' expectations to get a job so they can look good to their friends, it feels better stay unemployed than get something full-time that makes them feel embarrassed. I applied for help from a state agency but it's taking a while for them to get back to me. My dad is pressuring me to go for my masters but I lied about my college grades and have no idea what to put in my admissions essay so I don't think I'd get in. I think I'm going to run away from home and hurt my parents' feelings because I don't want to tell the truth about why I can't get into a master's program.

No. 1714151

what was your major if I can ask?

No. 1714174

I'm trying to escape NEETdom. I'm in the process for signing up for University and looking for work. So far so good… I have to make a LOI for uni, and it's going good, so far.. I think? I want someone to go over it but the only person that is close to me that went to Uni is my boyfriend, except he's absolutely busy.

No. 1714849

Got a PT job, wahoo! I'm excited!! Now, let's pray I get accepted into my uni program

No. 1714853

Congratulations Nona, that's a big accomplishment! Now only for a few more…

No. 1715285

i graduated in engineering but made next to no connections and had a lot of issues around sleep so i did bad in my classes and forgot a lot of what i did.

No. 1718673

File: 1696679890352.png (38.36 KB, 144x133, kfjbndfkjbvnkdjfn.png)

Thank you, nonnas. I got the job (yay), but I had to tell them I couldn't do it once they told me I'd need to travel to train (boo), but I am not fretting because I found a backup unexpectedly. I wouldn't mind going where they needed me to if I knew how to drive and I wish they added that requirement in the listing. Anyway I'll apply later to plan b today after my sleep. At my interview I acted like a total idiot when I had to introduce myself. I forgot I had to shake their hands first so when I walked up to them (it was outside) I was in a half bow position staring at their hands until I remembered I had to reach for their freaking hands so my hand sprung up so reatardly. I wanted to melt down to the ground, but I kept it going. I know better next time…

No. 1718675

No. 1719106

I messed up today in my job again, I think I'm about to get fired.

No. 1719112

Update, it's a pain. They were about to make me work solo for the first time this coming up Tuesday, which I think it is insane. Part of me wants to quit, cause I keep hearing about people not staying for long.. The training was barely as training, how am I supposed to work Saturday alone?

No. 1719499

All the best to you.

No. 1722204

My biggest regret was being a NEET for as long as I was. Being employed is not nearly as bad as I thought it would've been (I thought being a diagnosed sperg meant I was unemployable, but my boss knows and accommodates me by having me stick to what I'm good at), I just wish I did it when I was 18 and not when I was 27. I think what disappoints me though is my life is basically the same minus having a job and paycheck; I'm still just as alone as isolated as I was since then. Being alone with money is easier but it feels like I shut myself off from the world for so long I don't know how to enter back in it. Even before I became a NEET I didn't have many friends as a teenager.

No. 1722932

what happened anon? hope ur doing well
me too, when i've been able to hold down a job i have felt very accomplished but it also doesn't have the self improving factors that a lot of people around me acted like it did

No. 1723129

AYRT, I personally have gone through a lot of self-improvement and don't plan on changing jobs but I'm stuck in the feeling that it was "too late" and if I did this earlier in life I wouldn't be in the place I am.

No. 1724097

Approaching year 4 in a month pray for me.

Had to drop out of uni at 18 to look after sick and abusive family members the whole time who refused to stop dying and now have no job experience or social life. I guess i have to join government programs because no one replied to my resume even though it was entry level positions lol

No. 1724407

I've got a job interview tomorrow and just know I'm going to fumble because I start shaking uncontrollably whenever I have to do an interview. Wish me luck nonnas I need some money even if the job is shit

No. 1724413

not knowing how to drive is killing me. i can't believe young me thought the world was cool and i could just walk/bus everywhere. i'm learning now (been taking weekend lessons since july) but everyone's still saying i can expect my license by like next year at the earliest

No. 1724414

You’ll get there eventually Nona!! I promise life is infinitely easier when you have the freedom and independence of a car

No. 1724419

You're making it sounds like you've been taking lessons for a long ass time but I don't think you're doing that bad? The average time it takes to get a license is about 6 months, if you get your license by winter 2024 you're just slightly over the average by 2ish months.

Anyway taking a few months longer than most is OK, money aside you're not missing out on some grant opportunity to change your life just because it's taking a little longer. Allow yourself some time.

No. 1724563

File: 1697153936031.jpg (34.6 KB, 564x563, 470bfd2bdcc08f74a6ce3fa4e52dc8…)

I think im slowly getting out of neetdom, i have a few more friends in uni this year and one of them is a super nice girl that has so many friends so I look up to her a lot! Sometimes I feel stressed that im not going out everyday but I need to remind myself that Rome wasnt built in a day! Last week I went out with some new people and I kinda missed holding hands when walking thru a busy place just for safety (this sounds so corny but I stopped having friends at 17 so I just missed those silly things) I hope that this is just the start and I get a job soon so I have more oportunities to meet more people!

good luck nonita bonita!

No. 1725176

awh i am so happy for you! i hope many good things come your way
>I kinda missed holding hands when walking thru a busy place
when i started socialising again after a long time i noticed this too, its really comforting

No. 1725184

awh i am so happy for you! i hope many good things come your way
>I kinda missed holding hands when walking thru a busy place
when i started socialising again after a long time i noticed this too, its really comforting

No. 1725221

But if you're in Uni you're not a NEET?

No. 1725233

I've noticed a lot of anons seem to think that being a NEET more or less means having no friends/social life

No. 1725257

I was a NEET for 3 years and now I'm working at a daycare center and taking classes part time to eventually get my Bachelor's. If you're considering a job in childcare this is my experience.
pros: some places are so understaffed they will basically hire anyone with a pulse, some of my coworkers have never finished high school. Second, there are no more gaps in your resume, you were just working as a nanny (they're way too lazy to check references). Also, unlike shitty retail jobs you can pretty much sit down when and take bathroom breaks when you want.
Cons: you will want to kys some days, kids can be awful and violent and I've heard parent horror stories as well although this hasn't come up for me yet. You encounter piss, shit, and vomit. Other days are easy and the kids are cute and it helps fill the void in my lonely, friendless soul.

No. 1725378

They're dumb zoomers/zillenals most likely. I see it on TikTok all the time, some zoomer giri thinks that not having a social life and doing all of her school online makes her a NEET instead of just an awkward recluse at best

No. 1727223

I feel like things are too late for me too but I’m beginning to think it’s not over until it’s over ykwim? Don’t gaslight yourself into stopping whatever it is you’re thinking about getting good at

No. 1728076

In my country, getting your licence takes almost 3 years, and that's not even a full (open) licence. It could be worse nonna.

No. 1728374

She could have been a NEET and only recently joined uni.

No. 1728723

three years? but why?

No. 1728783

File: 1697482136537.png (71.91 KB, 965x385, Screenshot 2023-10-16 193855.p…)

It's funny because NEET originated as a term used by the british government that usually referred to teens 16-18 who had left school but never moved onto work. The social problems they were associated with were like, gangs of youths hanging around or causing trouble in public in the middle of the day. It was part of this big crackdown on youth antisocial behavior at the time. As a slang term NEET was synonymous with chav, pretty much.
Very different to the modern day usage which implies a more harmless socially impared basement dweller.
Picrel is a forum post from the time showing the original usage.
The definition changed, I think, because the term only got to the US through anime. Japan picked the term up as a loanword to describe their own youth unemployment problem, but in japan the stereotypical NEET was an otaku shut in rather than a teen delinquent. By the time it took hold in the US, the chav hysteria in the UK had faded and no one used NEET as slang anymore so the japanese meaning took precedence in the english speaking world.

No. 1728901

I've had two phone screens in the past week and this recent one today went really, really well. I haven't worked seriously and not quit in less than 5 shifts since before covid and am kind of a shy agoraphobic type so this is a huge step for me. Both of these jobs are within my capabilities, have good benefits, and are a reasonable distance away. AND at the one I know someone that promises to send my resume to the right people with a good word for me so I am feeling positive. Even if these don't pan out I am feeling more confident I thought I was more awkward than I am. Talking to recruiters isn't so hard I can be normal if I try

No. 1728934

File: 1697491593434.jpg (112.95 KB, 663x577, Tumblr_l_4100780412605489.jpg)

I spent 4 entire years after flunking University (I lie and tell my friends I graduated kek), now I am back to learning in another University for a whole different subject I think I might enjoy and I feel weird being 24 when every classmate is 18 or 19. I don't look 24 and they all think I'm the same age as them, but still, even though I was stuck as a NEET, I tried to develop my style from something basic to every day j-fashion. I learned to cook better, take care of my belongings and rented apartment more efficiently. I also stabilized myself in basic opinions I never had the chance to think about. I feel like I've advanced quite a bit since I became a neet at 20… But there's something inside my heart that wants to go back. Go back to neetdom. Go back to leisurely pacing myself through the day every day Buuut also I feel uneasy being so "experienced" around these literal kids who still play pranks on each other, but on the other hand I feel like joining in, like I'm also 18 and I wanna gossip and have fun. I don't know how to put this all into better words, but maybe my neetdom also made me childish and now it's coming out, as during my first Uni I wasn't like this at all.

No. 1729183

Today I learned that chav is an acronym.

No. 1729483

I also went back to uni at 23 (25 now) and I feel the same way, I think I'm a much more developed person than I was first starting uni. I'm friendly with people in my classes but I don't really have a desire to be close friends with 18-19 year olds. In a way though I have a lot more in common with my classmates than people I used to go to school with who have now moved on for the most part to good jobs so sometimes that's strange. I even had a crush on a girl in my program at one point but I sort of felt conflicted about it because she probably didn't realize I'm older than her and I was a loser dropout.

No. 1729618

Anon you're just 24. There's some level of maturity difference between you and 18 year olds but it's not THAT big, therefore it makes complete sense that you want to join in on the fun your slightly younger classmates are having. You're not an imposter. (They're also not literal kids, give them the benefit of the doubt sometimes). You're talking about yourself as if you're a grandma who isn't allowed to have fun anymore. Go, have fun with your classmates, joke around, gossip, go out for drinks, whatever, those are all perfectly normal and reasonable things for 24 year olds to do. And frankly, and I mean this with no offense whatsoever, you're probably not as developed/experienced as you think you are compared to them/for your age as you've spent the past four years NEETing.

No. 1729925

>interview process over two days
>day one is a fucking brunch with strangers and company execs who will be judging you on likability
>day two is three interviews back-to-back (one of which is explicitly to gauge your "fit")
this world was not made for autistic people i see that now

No. 1729933

Management and coveted positions are not for autistic people. They want someone full of shit who can also shmooze and put on some shit eating ass kissing dick riding show

No. 1729941

it's all so exhausting. i've not even gotten confirmation that i'm invited to this shit process yet but i'm praying i am even if i dread it
why can't getting a job be easier. i can do the work, i just need a chance kek

No. 1730101

current plan:

1. government year in trade, they hire retards (me) so if i improve physical fitness i can do it currently i can do like 50% required of the physical test rn
1.5 try to get a normal job in between neetdom and governemnt to return to normalcy like night stocking or something
2. take apprenticeship trade job with experience gained once year finished
3. have 70k salary gain 4+ years experience
4.?? at this point i will very likely quit and use all my money to shut myself in again need to make some sort of unghostable aquaintance to anchor myself to human world

challenges include: not being terribly unfit- have improved fitness results in the last week and a half, attaining medical clearance, not giving up instantly on any challenge presented to me.

any particular critiques or deathwishes?

No. 1730981

File: 1697702618380.jpg (268.97 KB, 800x800, hanachan2.jpg)

i just applied with the most flattering "skill-based" resume (because i have no education and no experience) possible without actively lying about my credentials and even so it's 5 sentences. surely they aren't choosy about who does the dishes? but it's the shittiest resume ever.
i'll have to rewrite it.

No. 1731188

They still haven't given me a reply it's joever

No. 1731195

They hire literal 16 years olds for doing the dishes so I wouldn't worry about the resume or lack of experience. Your age and therefore wage is more likely to be an issue if it's easy for them to hire cheaper minors instead.

No. 1733986

I applied to 5 retail jobs for the first time in 2 years with my shitty resume that has no experience listed. Just high school and a skills section. I was paralyzed for a while thinking about what else to do about my resume so I said fuck it and just applied with what I had.

No. 1738082

File: 1698188695148.png (501.11 KB, 633x627, notimage.png)

I'm a former NEET who's been in uni for a while now. The thing is, I don't have any real goals here, it's just my door out of NEETdom. My parents want me to get a degree so they support me financially so that I can live alone comfortably.
I'm on my 3rd year and haven't picked a major—the clock is ticking for me to pick soon, but I just have no idea. Not even any leads where I'm choosing between a few, I'm outright lost. I've been taking random classes that are either required or that seem okay, and there are certainly things that I enjoy, but nothing sticks hard enough where I'd feel okay about diving deep into it as a full subject of study or a career. This makes me pretty alienated from my peers, who seem to all specifically know that they want to be an engineer or artist or whatever.
It's not that I'm miserable and apathetic about life; I'm actually a really happy person, it's just that all the things I enjoy doing aren't exactly career-oriented or profitable. I like staying home, cooking for myself, making amateur art, playing video games, chatting with my friends, simple mundane stuff like that. In my ideal life, I just spend time with my friends and family. I have no dream job…
But yeah, I dunno what to do when it's time for me to be forced to commit to something. I might just pick something decently profitable that's not very competitive… I actually tried randomly picking at an earlier point but they unpicked it for me because "it's not your real passion" and basically expected me to figure out my true life goal if I just gave it time.
Some people suggest that I should drop out and become a basic restaurant wagie or something, others say it's a waste to give up my opportunity at uni (it's a pretty prestigious one and I will incur minimal debt) and that I'm not cut out to survive in the wagie world. I think even my parents are seeing that I'm at a dead end because they've shifted their focus to saying stuff like "anon have you met any nice smart men? If you get a nice rich husband you can stay home all day~"

TLDR anyone else struggle to "pick a path" when it comes to deciding what kind of non-NEET thing to pursue?

No. 1738129

No. 1738339

File: 1698210687405.gif (1.31 MB, 220x192, cursed-hello-kitty-balloon-hel…)

I used to have friends in school as a kid, we'd go to the mall and all that stuff in the free time. I miss it and I get anxious if I don't talk to people, I don't know why.
I'm trying to escape the NEETdom because the older I get just worse it feels and I'm only in my early 20s.
No idea what I want to do or how to make friends, living already in such a introverted country. I'm scared I will be alone forever or if I find partner they'll see me as total loser once they find out all my contacts are people I have met online and don't see irl.
I wish good luck everyone with their goals, sometimes I feel like I was doomed from the start (shitty childhood) but hopefully I will be in better place once I reach my 30s.

I have hard time going out there and enjoying things alone, I'm fixated on needing peoples approval all the time, anyone have tips how to get rid off this? Should I just go to therapy?

No. 1738391

>feels the need for human connection and to be loved, like everyone else
>hey should i go to therapy for feeling this way?

No. 1738422

Farmers, what is the differences and/or similarities between a NEET and failure to launch syndrome/faildaughter/son in your opinion?I’ve been reading whatever limited studies have been done of FTL and it’s almost exclusively males, who failed to finish collage/ transition to the workforce, with the hallmark characteristics being living at home and lacking core adult life skills (cleaning, cooking, time and money management) and having no friends or only superficial/age inappropriate friends and being a enormous financial burden on the family. Video game, nerd stuff and weed addictions are sometimes present but sometimes not-I guess FTL also encompasses the weird 35 year old guy who spends all day surfing/at the country club hanging out with people ten years younger than him and while his aging parents just pay for everything no questions asked, which wouldn’t really fit with NEETdom. One the other hand core aspects of failing to transition fully to adult life are the same. I see myself in some way reflected in the FTL category because I never had the level of dating problems most neets have, but I totally failed to make it to the workforce in anyway (besides attempts at getting and losing a few dead end min wage admin/handcrafting jobs last one being years ago). I live in a crippling sense of loneliness and alienation and if I died tomorrow I think only 2-3 people (all exes) would really care longer then a few days. On the other hand I live alone and don’t need anyone to do my laundry, I know how to cook,how to get different stains out of fabric, dont have problem with hygiene etc. But I wonder if that is related to these case studies being done almost exclusively on men. In terms of classic NEETdom I’m heavily addicted to the internet, have Asperger’s-y poor social skills and was a classic weeb at one point in life. There are expensive rehab style problems that claim to work with FTL, I wonder though would it have any value for female neets though?

No. 1738769

As a post-uni recovered NEET my advice is always to not worry about your passion. You won’t actually know what job suits you best until you try a number of them, and plus you can pivot much more easily once you are already within the work world. You are in the perfect part of your education to focus on co-ops, practicums, internships if your school has anything like that… your major could be anything, the word that’s actually on your degree will have shockingly little relevance to your work life compared to getting experience at real workplaces, but i would even pick a major based on which majors have work experience components. Also, idk about your school, but at my school, you could enter co-ops without any specific degree matched to a job, it was basically a job board. I would accumulate as much experience and savings as you can this way, and figure out what you like doing by trying things out in the real world. In the work world a lot of the time you can wind up moving into roles you realize you like without formal education because of other experience and skills you acquire on the job. Right now I would say you just want to do everything you can to set yourself up to comfortably explore different types of jobs after you graduate, feeing confident about your level of experience, etc. Good luck nona, you are in the year of your education that i turned my life around by doing the above things

No. 1739205

can you link to studies on failure to launch? that sounds interesting. i read for one place, they actually segregate or only offer their services to men because otherwise there's too much interpersonal drama if both sexes are admitted. i don't remember where i read about it but it was like a life coaching thing where they taught people chores too.

No. 1739228

Same, realizing all neet and FTL type literature almost always focuses on males made me realize how much men are actually coddled by women and society and how women are expected to always bring their A game and be on top of everything 24/7. I was a FTL female for most of my twenties and it was insane because I literally didn’t know a single other girl in my life like that expect one girl who had severe anorexia and was basically a shutin because of her illness. It’s crazy how scrotes complain about how society has endless expectations and pressures from them but every neet I’ve interacted with and known was a male, except myself. Every woman I knew had their shit together and was grinding to make everything in their life work while juggling a career, kids, a marriage, side activities and hobbies etc. It’s actually insane how much pressure women are under and remarkable how strong women are, it’s literally moids who are pathetic weaklings who can’t handle the slightest failure, rejection or criticism.

No. 1739249

I think a lot of mentally ill women hang on the edge of NEETdom but never enter into the category because they just don't have parents that are willing to let them eat hotpockets and play computer all day so they form codependent relationships with men instead. My sister and I both had NEET tendencies into our early twenties but she had a husband who financially supported her and I had our mom who eventually forced me to get a job. I still live with my mom (and have been employed since then, thanks mom) but I just don't think many parents are as accepting of faildaughters as they are of failsons, and like you say they don't coddle their female children the same way they do their males. There's an expectation that women eventually leave the nest to make their own families and that pressure starts young so even if we don't have children or get married, the net is pulled out much sooner. Also women who do end up having kids have to become responsible and hard working, especially when they have kids with failmales who can't or don't want to support them.

No. 1739293

>which wouldn’t really fit with NEETdom
How doesn't it? Being a NEET literally just means not being in education/employment/training, even someone who has just graduated and is still seeking a job is technically a NEET. I hadn't heard of FTL before but from the sounds of it, every FTL is a NEET but not every NEET is an FTL.

No. 1740040

How do I stop being so reliant on online friendships? I want to gradually move on from them and focus more on my real life friends but i’m finding it hard. It’s even harder for the ones i’ve known for years, it’s not as strong as a connection with someone in person but it still makes it hard because I respect them and don’t want to hurt them or have them dislike me. The feelings aren’t mutual because some of them still message me frequently. I know I could just delete my account but then they’d wonder where I went and they know my other socials and we have some mutual connections anyways.

I’ve naturally drifted away from online friendships many times in the past, what made it easier was that online friendships felt much less intimate, we maybe were friends on 1-3 different sites and our direct messaging was about mutual interests and casual discussions. You naturally lose interest in that niche online pet simulator and one day you just never log back in. That was easy, now it’s evolved into everyone having 10 different connected social media accounts with dms and group dms opened on every site where the logs of your discussions can be kept forever. You know so much more about your online friends today, 13 years ago I didn’t know much about that girl I met on that niche pet simulator forum besides us being the same age and her hobbies. When I was a lonely NEET I wanted to make a connections with others that I overshared too much and let online friendships get too personal, and now that I want to move on with my life I have to wonder if they could ever connect with me in 10 years again because they remembered the colleges i talked about going to and some of my jobs. Sorry for the long rambling nonnas, having more real life friends is helping me in some aspects but that lonely nerd who’s only friends are strangers is still in me in some ways.

No. 1740176

im 23 and ive been complete neet since i graduated high school, im very mentally ill and cant do anything alone. im gonna try a IT 2-year course next year, and try to get into pharmacy college later, but im autistic and have severe social phobia. i have tried enrolling in university before but my longest stay was 2 months.
being near my family is detrimental to my mental health and my biggest desire was to get accepted into an uni in another state, and i did get into one, but my family didnt let me go. that completely shattered my expectations, even thinking about it makes my head dizzy, low blood pressure and all. i just dont have anything else to live for anymore. i am planning my education just so i can fill some expectations from others, but its not my ”dream”. my ”dream” would be getting away from my family. where i live its not common to just move away when you turn 18, people generally move out when they get married, in their mid-20s or so.
i hate working so much. i have worked a few months for my family business and it was so fucking miserable. the last time i got so stressed i tried killing myself and ended up in the hospital. the work wasnt stressful, sometimes id be playing computer games all day, but i just couldnt handle to go somewhere and work all day and then come home and do absolutely nothing because i just became a fucking zombie. i couldnt do anything after i come home from work, i would stare at the ceiling like a broken robot, no thoughts, literally. i dont know whats wrong with me. i like studying but i cant even socialize. i dont like working but i need a lot of money to leave.
just what the fuck do i do to not feel so much pain and desperation, i cant even get the autism buxx. im not even pretty to sell my body online.

No. 1743330

>I just don't think many parents are as accepting of faildaughters as they are of failsons
i agree with this but i also think it's dependent on a lot of things like race, age, etc.
overall yes though women are not allowed to become NEETs at the rate men are. it's so funny that scrotes have this idea that women just have it easy despite every facet of reality rebelling against that fact

No. 1743635

I'm a recovered hikki NEET (been employed for almost 4 years now). I have a 2-year-old nephew and I've noticed I really enjoy being with him, he has more calming presence than adults do even though he cries more. But I've noticed that the moment I'm with him and my mom or some other adult, I tense up and can't be with him naturally. To others it probably looks like I'm not interested in him but I just hate to be "perceived" by others when I'm with a child, it's so awkward. Does anyone else have a problem like this?

No. 1755360

I’m a recovered NEET with a career of four years. It wasn’t good for me to be unemployed because the ennui was really bad for me, and trying to outrun that feeling is why I got so successful in my career so fast. I never had a “real” job before this so I didn’t know you could get satisfaction and purpose out of life by working. Who knew!

I can’t shake the desire to do fuck all, though. I never want to go anywhere for vacation. I just want to lay in my bed for as long as I can get away with it. I miss watching an infinite backlog of stupid movies. If I could be a NEET again for a year I would watch all the garbage Blumhouse has churned out in the past four years while I fucked around on my phone. I would ruin my sleep schedule so hard again. I would get into WoW again and collect all the mounts I missed in the past couple of years. I would just do absolutely nothing and it would be so wonderful. I really don’t enjoy being around people at all, it’s so fucking exhausting to me so I don’t want to go to a destination vacation where there’s strangers and noises and scenarios. I just want to close the blinds and hibernate again.

No. 1759624

I left in the middle of an interview phone call again. I thought I was past that but I didn't prep and didn't get enough sleep the night before. The problem is I know I must be anxious, but I've numbed myself so much I can't tell how anxious I am. I wouldn't get the job anyways but I'm disappointed in myself. The recruiter emailed to ask if we should reschedule, but I don't know if I should because what if I do this again and waste her time? I'm autistic and could use that as an excuse to ask for questions ahead of time but I really do need more serious employment counseling. Thank god my appointment is finally next week. Ugh.

No. 1759641

Never tell any recruiter about mental illness or your spectrum stats. It will not help you and people will look down on you.

Finish interviews no matter how painful or how much of a guaranteed flop it is, and yes reschedule. That route is you functioning despite your problems and not letting them work you.

The worst thing you can do with severe anxiety is seek to be comfortable, as the boundary of comfort and discomfort will always shrink until you are a mute hermit. You have to keep pushing out.

No. 1759657

Firmly agree with this advice. Your anxiety is understandable, but I promise you're never bombing as hard as you think, I've had employment offers after some really shocking performances. Ultimately, it's not a persecution, the interviewer WANTS to hire you, and this is their whole job, they've seen everything and are trained to see the best in people. Reschedule if you feel able to so that company isn't blacklisted as an option for you, I believe in you.

No. 1759676

File: 1699475552085.jpg (25.5 KB, 564x423, ce6b306e4926b323b28a8f3f3386ba…)

I just really don't know why I can't fit in anywhere I go. I went into CS with the "I'm gonna be rich and make money, I can learn to make games on the side" mindset. 3 semesters in, I'm seriously considering switching to gamedev because I already wasted years, and I don't want to be here for 4 MORE FUCKING SEMESTERS wasting my parent's money to constantly do high level math and biology I'll forget within a day. I remembered why I hated school recently: being surrounded by people I couldn't give a single shit about doing the same thing day after day, just because its "the right and normal path". I already grew confident enough over the years to dress how I want half the time, but I get too much within my mask/persona of being this mean woman who has better places to be. It works but I just make myself miss out on interactions because I'm so focused on getting home to relax and not worry about breaking the illusion.
I've been absent to all my classes since last Tuesday and used up all excused ones. I haven't been able to stop biting my nails and ruined a month's work of regrowth. I'm grateful to be born reasonably well-off with a roof over my head but I never asked to be born. I wish I knew genuine love and companionship like back in my innocent pre-2nd year of middle school. Really really really trying not to go back to depressed unfeeling neethood because I think if I do I'm gonna do something I'll regret this winter. The only reason I haven't done anything is thanks to my paranoia and self-awareness of how my mask will be permanently broken with no way of going back after years of hiding away and trying to be at least be perceived as a normal, sane person. I am so filled with hate, disappointment, envy, and jealousy. Turn 23 soon but I already feel old…

No. 1759677

Old post I know Yes I’ve struggled with this a lot and I think it’s because I’m super emotionally unavailable. I’m more on the severe end for a woman but I really used to struggle with showing any emotions around other people and even something as “simple” as being affectionate towards an animal or baby freaked me out. I am just very scared to get attached to anything emotionally and especially afraid of showing those emotions to others.

No. 1759785

File: 1699480546415.jpg (41.67 KB, 569x567, Capture.JPG)

I'm finding recovery really hard. I consider myself NEET often but in reality I bounce from job to job, staying 1-4 months typically before losing it again. Right now I'm doing temp work that is very unstable, I get enough money but I can't plan even a week in advance, and I work with retards. However, I'm able to stick with it when I don't seem able to stick with a permanent job, and the variety is kind of fun.
I just know this can't be it forever, getting antsy and I don't know what to try to do next that's realistic for me, don't even know what I want I'm so depressed that I'm passionate about basically nothing. All I know is that I want to do better, and that this shit tires my body out, but I'm good at it. My bf is working overtime both professionally and academically right now and I feel so inadequate.
At least this is better than being on jobseekers allowance (any other povvo britbongs here?) It's survivable for now and I want to do better but doubt my ability to do so.

No. 1762699

hey anonies, any advice on quitting a social media/internet addiction? i have limited access to my phone and laptop (thanks to my dad) but instead of putting my energy towards finding a job or studies, i just end up wasting the day away looking forward to when i get my phone back :,((:,()

No. 1771777

I’m trying to recover from being a meet for over a year. I graduated college and couldn’t get a job. If you want to know what I studied it was CS and I feel like I wasted my life studying for nothing. I could just work in any blue color job tbh but I feel like it’s a waste of my degree but I literally can’t get any job. Not even an interview. I stopped doing projects and I feel like the projects I did before weren’t anything good enough to get me hired. Is there any way I can use my degree even if it’s freelance work? I don’t know anyone else to talk to this about so I decided to reach out in case anyone else experienced or is experiencing what I am going through rn. I feel so alone and I was supposed to be the one in the family to actually make some good money but I’m just a failure.

No. 1771922

i'm in the same situation, sort of – graduated in may and i am still jobless. nobody wants to hire me. not bookstores to offices to cs-related tech jobs. have you given staffing agencies a try? i've signed up for one and i'm praying i get something there

No. 1772088

>find jobs i want to apply to
>it would take only 5 minutes to apply
>waste time on lolcow for days instead
hory shet i'm retarded

No. 1772810

I haven’t even thought of staffing agencies. I’m going to try that and see if I get a job somewhere. The thing that sucks the most about my situation is that I’ve been like this for over a year. But I’m still trying. And it’s true they don’t want to hire unless you already have years of work experience under your belt. The only jobs willing to hire me are blue collar jobs which I can do but I feel like it’s a waste of my degree. Let’s hope we both get a job

I wish I could help but I’m stuck in the same position. I feel like the only way to lose one addiction is to get a different addiction. It’s like losing weight. Most people who lose a great deal of weight end up getting an alcohol addiction. So for you to get rid of your addiction you’d have to find something else to fill your time. Maybe you can try working out? Going on walks? Drawing. Reading. Writing. At least that way people think it’s a more “productive” use of your time instead of being on social media. Maybe you can make a friend and that friend can take you out to places so that you don’t get to be just waiting for your phone to hop back onto social media.

No. 1772844

Nobody wants to hire someone with no experience. Sign up for as many staffing agencies as you can, once you have a couple of jobs under your belt you can start working towards jobs in the areas you graduated in. Once you have a few years of experience and you figure out how to pitch yourself to employers you'll be able to get the sort of jobs you studied for.

No. 1772901

Does it matter what type of experience it is? I’ve always worked factory jobs but it’s not like that’s related to cs.

No. 1772951

File: 1700072879624.png (1.07 MB, 1423x800, 1431229134799-0.png)

Covid lockdowns did the final push that sealed my fate, i'm comfortable with being a neet/hikikomori now. I have my own tiny apartment, regular supply of veggies from country side relatives and a bit of passive income, nothing can make me face the disappointments of outside world. I'm abandoning humanity back, haha, take that!

No. 1774182

CS is very saturated right now but, as with all jobs, knowing your way around office politics will do more for your career than actually being competent. Factory jobs aren't the best if you're looking to get into normie office jobs, but you can absolutely get normie office jobs if you have experience in anything remotely related to admin work or customer service, and you can get into cs jobs through that. Find staffing agencies that can get you into some shitty call center job as a temp. Don't worry about getting one or two week gigs- you're really employed through the agency so it's not going to reflect badly on you. You can also use that experience to apply for better staffing agencies that can give you more opportunities in the areas you're interested in. Don't be discouraged if you're stuck working in shit jobs for a while. ANY job is better than no job at all, and the more agencies you're signed up with the more chances you have of not having any gaps in your employment. It's OK if you're too retarded to function, agencies are sleazy bastards who'll find you something to do for a few days no matter how incompetent you are. The more experience you have the easier it'll be for you to get a job you actually want, so don't get discouraged if you play up your degree and they still give you call center jobs. You're not going to be stuck there forever.

No. 1777178

File: 1700344369529.png (545.58 KB, 966x900, 1570322994436.png)

uhhh why do i still get intimidated by teenagers in public (i am 22)

No. 1778334

File: 1700406250456.jpeg (74.98 KB, 736x598, 久世岳@7_21新刊発売 on X.jpeg)

Torn between purposefully flopping an interview tomorrow (by being myself) or actually atempting. I've started a sewing class and have to quit if I actually got hired, which would be a shame and it's just a shitty retail job, not to mention my mother is against it, but I dunno, since someone like me won't get many opportunities to join the job market.

No. 1778385

Same but 23. I always look away I'm so pathetic.

No. 1778386

It's the years of bullying nonnie. I'm 29 and still get uncomfortable near them

No. 1778642

File: 1700420603079.jpg (21.48 KB, 563x538, cry cat.jpg)

>Applied for job
>Already hoping they don't call me back because NEETdom is too comfortable
It's not even a demanding job. Nonnies I hate this.

No. 1778864

>I have hard time going out there and enjoying things alone, I'm fixated on needing peoples approval all the time, anyone have tips how to get rid off this? Should I just go to therapy?
nta but bump, for me im fine doing alone but only when im out of sight

the fawning/ need for validation is a problem…

No. 1780853

Hi guys I wanna save up to get a car, I’m somewhat of an invalid and I passed the written part of my drivers exam I haven’t taken the driving part yet but I get so anxious and jerky while driving I don’t know why I’m so retarded and I think too much about it but I don’t know how to stop and another thing is that my family won’t let me practice driving because everytime I ask for the car they get all “I’m not having the car towed! “ which I can’t blame them but one of the ppl in my house literally drives and doesn’t have a license and it’s just like where do they draw the line and how do I stop being so stupid about driving I’m too old to not have a license i feel like such a idiot

No. 1780907

Sorry your family isn't more understanding or helpful, nona. Don't feel stupid! Idk what country you live in, but plenty of people in the world don't learn to drive because it isn't necessary in walkable communities, have public transit, or can't afford a car. You're mature for taking on this responsibility and wanting to do well. I believe in you! Driving tests are not really difficult, they are intentionally simple enough for teenagers to pass. Most people I know struggle to parallel park and/or kinda drive like shit even after 10+ years of experience. Maybe it would be helpful for your anxiety to watch videos simulating the test?

No. 1780910

im in the exact same place nona HAH, ive driven once for 20 minutes and it was fucking awful so im planning on doing driving lessons.. where i live you can find ones where the instructor has their own wheel/ accelerate/ break etc that overrides the student's? try find something like that where you are, or look around for empty parking lots. never too late to learn theres lots of adults who still take their driving tests (e.g a lot of my family had to re do theirs from scratch when they migrated to where we live now) best of luck!

No. 1780989

Thanks nonas! I do believe in myself too it’s just a big new step

No. 1782788

File: 1700647425614.jpg (99.09 KB, 668x917, 0e4e888601070c9f7c4a4f21ca7fc2…)

Half the jobs I would apply for have heavy lifting listed as a required skill. I'm so out of fucking shape it's not funny. None of the jobs I've applied for have even written me back to reject me. Now when I actually make an honest effort to get a grip all the years of making no effort at all are biting me in the ass.

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