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A Thread for former NEETs who escaped the NEET lifestyle and are trying to stay out and current NEETs who wish who want to get out of NEETdomThis is not a thread for wilful NEETs
Topics regarding NEETdom may include but are not limited to:>Reasons why you became a NEET and why you want to leave it.>Little things that motivate your escape/recovery.>Changes that you face regarding leaving NEETdom.>What made you slip up on your NEETdom escape/recovery.>Asking for advice/help.>Your success at becoming a normie.
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Thank you, nonnas. I got the job (yay), but I had to tell them I couldn't do it once they told me I'd need to travel to train (boo), but I am not fretting because I found a backup unexpectedly. I wouldn't mind going where they needed me to if I knew how to drive and I wish they added that requirement in the listing. Anyway I'll apply later to plan b today after my sleep. At my interview I acted like a total idiot when I had to introduce myself. I forgot I had to shake their hands first so when I walked up to them (it was outside) I was in a half bow position staring at their hands until I remembered I had to reach for their freaking hands so my hand sprung up so reatardly. I wanted to melt down to the ground, but I kept it going. I know better next time…
what happened anon? hope ur doing well>>1722204
me too, when i've been able to hold down a job i have felt very accomplished but it also doesn't have the self improving factors that a lot of people around me acted like it did
You're making it sounds like you've been taking lessons for a long ass time but I don't think you're doing that bad? The average time it takes to get a license is about 6 months, if you get your license by winter 2024 you're just slightly over the average by 2ish months.
Anyway taking a few months longer than most is OK, money aside you're not missing out on some grant opportunity to change your life just because it's taking a little longer. Allow yourself some time.
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I think im slowly getting out of neetdom, i have a few more friends in uni this year and one of them is a super nice girl that has so many friends so I look up to her a lot! Sometimes I feel stressed that im not going out everyday but I need to remind myself that Rome wasnt built in a day! Last week I went out with some new people and I kinda missed holding hands when walking thru a busy place just for safety (this sounds so corny but I stopped having friends at 17 so I just missed those silly things) I hope that this is just the start and I get a job soon so I have more oportunities to meet more people!>>1724407
good luck nonita bonita!
awh i am so happy for you! i hope many good things come your way>I kinda missed holding hands when walking thru a busy place
when i started socialising again after a long time i noticed this too, its really comforting
awh i am so happy for you! i hope many good things come your way>I kinda missed holding hands when walking thru a busy place
when i started socialising again after a long time i noticed this too, its really comforting
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It's funny because NEET originated as a term used by the british government that usually referred to teens 16-18 who had left school but never moved onto work. The social problems they were associated with were like, gangs of youths hanging around or causing trouble in public in the middle of the day. It was part of this big crackdown on youth antisocial behavior at the time. As a slang term NEET was synonymous with chav, pretty much.
Very different to the modern day usage which implies a more harmless socially impared basement dweller.
Picrel is a forum post from the time showing the original usage.
The definition changed, I think, because the term only got to the US through anime. Japan picked the term up as a loanword to describe their own youth unemployment problem, but in japan the stereotypical NEET was an otaku shut in rather than a teen delinquent. By the time it took hold in the US, the chav hysteria in the UK had faded and no one used NEET as slang anymore so the japanese meaning took precedence in the english speaking world.
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I spent 4 entire years after flunking University (I lie and tell my friends I graduated kek), now I am back to learning in another University for a whole different subject I think I might enjoy and I feel weird being 24 when every classmate is 18 or 19. I don't look 24 and they all think I'm the same age as them, but still, even though I was stuck as a NEET, I tried to develop my style from something basic to every day j-fashion. I learned to cook better, take care of my belongings and rented apartment more efficiently. I also stabilized myself in basic opinions I never had the chance to think about. I feel like I've advanced quite a bit since I became a neet at 20… But there's something inside my heart that wants to go back. Go back to neetdom. Go back to leisurely pacing myself through the day every day Buuut also I feel uneasy being so "experienced" around these literal kids who still play pranks on each other, but on the other hand I feel like joining in, like I'm also 18 and I wanna gossip and have fun. I don't know how to put this all into better words, but maybe my neetdom also made me childish and now it's coming out, as during my first Uni I wasn't like this at all.
Anon you're just 24. There's some level of maturity difference between you and 18 year olds but it's not THAT big, therefore it makes complete sense that you want to join in on the fun your slightly younger classmates are having. You're not an imposter. (They're also not literal kids, give them the benefit of the doubt sometimes). You're talking about yourself as if you're a grandma who isn't allowed to have fun anymore. Go, have fun with your classmates, joke around, gossip, go out for drinks, whatever, those are all perfectly normal and reasonable things for 24 year olds to do. And frankly, and I mean this with no offense whatsoever, you're probably not as developed/experienced as you think you are compared to them/for your age as you've spent the past four years NEETing.
it's all so exhausting. i've not even gotten confirmation that i'm invited to this shit process yet but i'm praying i am even if i dread it
why can't getting a job be easier. i can do the work, i just need a chance kek
1. government year in trade, they hire retards (me) so if i improve physical fitness i can do it currently i can do like 50% required of the physical test rn
1.5 try to get a normal job in between neetdom and governemnt to return to normalcy like night stocking or something
2. take apprenticeship trade job with experience gained once year finished
3. have 70k salary gain 4+ years experience
4.?? at this point i will very likely quit and use all my money to shut myself in again need to make some sort of unghostable aquaintance to anchor myself to human world
challenges include: not being terribly unfit- have improved fitness results in the last week and a half, attaining medical clearance, not giving up instantly on any challenge presented to me.
any particular critiques or deathwishes?
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i just applied with the most flattering "skill-based" resume (because i have no education and no experience) possible without actively lying about my credentials and even so it's 5 sentences. surely they aren't choosy about who does the dishes? but it's the shittiest resume ever.
i'll have to rewrite it.
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I'm a former NEET who's been in uni for a while now. The thing is, I don't have any real goals here, it's just my door out of NEETdom. My parents want me to get a degree so they support me financially so that I can live alone comfortably.
I'm on my 3rd year and haven't picked a major—the clock is ticking for me to pick soon, but I just have no idea. Not even any leads where I'm choosing between a few, I'm outright lost. I've been taking random classes that are either required or that seem okay, and there are certainly things that I enjoy, but nothing sticks hard enough where I'd feel okay about diving deep into it as a full subject of study or a career. This makes me pretty alienated from my peers, who seem to all specifically know that they want to be an engineer or artist or whatever.
It's not that I'm miserable and apathetic about life; I'm actually a really happy person, it's just that all the things I enjoy doing aren't exactly career-oriented or profitable. I like staying home, cooking for myself, making amateur art, playing video games, chatting with my friends, simple mundane stuff like that. In my ideal life, I just spend time with my friends and family. I have no dream job…
But yeah, I dunno what to do when it's time for me to be forced to commit to something. I might just pick something decently profitable that's not very competitive… I actually tried randomly picking at an earlier point but they unpicked it for me because "it's not your real passion" and basically expected me to figure out my true life goal if I just gave it time.
Some people suggest that I should drop out and become a basic restaurant wagie or something, others say it's a waste to give up my opportunity at uni (it's a pretty prestigious one and I will incur minimal debt) and that I'm not cut out to survive in the wagie world. I think even my parents are seeing that I'm at a dead end because they've shifted their focus to saying stuff like "anon have you met any nice smart men? If you get a nice rich husband you can stay home all day~"
TLDR anyone else struggle to "pick a path" when it comes to deciding what kind of non-NEET thing to pursue?
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I used to have friends in school as a kid, we'd go to the mall and all that stuff in the free time. I miss it and I get anxious if I don't talk to people, I don't know why.
I'm trying to escape the NEETdom because the older I get just worse it feels and I'm only in my early 20s.
No idea what I want to do or how to make friends, living already in such a introverted country. I'm scared I will be alone forever or if I find partner they'll see me as total loser once they find out all my contacts are people I have met online and don't see irl.
I wish good luck everyone with their goals, sometimes I feel like I was doomed from the start (shitty childhood) but hopefully I will be in better place once I reach my 30s.
I have hard time going out there and enjoying things alone, I'm fixated on needing peoples approval all the time, anyone have tips how to get rid off this? Should I just go to therapy?
Farmers, what is the differences and/or similarities between a NEET and failure to launch syndrome/faildaughter/son in your opinion?I’ve been reading whatever limited studies have been done of FTL and it’s almost exclusively males, who failed to finish collage/ transition to the workforce, with the hallmark characteristics being living at home and lacking core adult life skills (cleaning, cooking, time and money management) and having no friends or only superficial/age inappropriate friends and being a enormous financial burden on the family. Video game, nerd stuff and weed addictions are sometimes present but sometimes not-I guess FTL also encompasses the weird 35 year old guy who spends all day surfing/at the country club hanging out with people ten years younger than him and while his aging parents just pay for everything no questions asked, which wouldn’t really fit with NEETdom. One the other hand core aspects of failing to transition fully to adult life are the same. I see myself in some way reflected in the FTL category because I never had the level of dating problems most neets have, but I totally failed to make it to the workforce in anyway (besides attempts at getting and losing a few dead end min wage admin/handcrafting jobs last one being years ago). I live in a crippling sense of loneliness and alienation and if I died tomorrow I think only 2-3 people (all exes) would really care longer then a few days. On the other hand I live alone and don’t need anyone to do my laundry, I know how to cook,how to get different stains out of fabric, dont have problem with hygiene etc. But I wonder if that is related to these case studies being done almost exclusively on men. In terms of classic NEETdom I’m heavily addicted to the internet, have Asperger’s-y poor social skills and was a classic weeb at one point in life. There are expensive rehab style problems that claim to work with FTL, I wonder though would it have any value for female neets though?
As a post-uni recovered NEET my advice is always to not worry about your passion. You won’t actually know what job suits you best until you try a number of them, and plus you can pivot much more easily once you are already within the work world. You are in the perfect part of your education to focus on co-ops, practicums, internships if your school has anything like that… your major could be anything, the word that’s actually on your degree will have shockingly little relevance to your work life compared to getting experience at real workplaces, but i would even pick a major based on which majors have work experience components. Also, idk about your school, but at my school, you could enter co-ops without any specific degree matched to a job, it was basically a job board. I would accumulate as much experience and savings as you can this way, and figure out what you like doing by trying things out in the real world. In the work world a lot of the time you can wind up moving into roles you realize you like without formal education because of other experience and skills you acquire on the job. Right now I would say you just want to do everything you can to set yourself up to comfortably explore different types of jobs after you graduate, feeing confident about your level of experience, etc. Good luck nona, you are in the year of your education that i turned my life around by doing the above things
im 23 and ive been complete neet since i graduated high school, im very mentally ill and cant do anything alone. im gonna try a IT 2-year course next year, and try to get into pharmacy college later, but im autistic and have severe social phobia. i have tried enrolling in university before but my longest stay was 2 months.
being near my family is detrimental to my mental health and my biggest desire was to get accepted into an uni in another state, and i did get into one, but my family didnt let me go. that completely shattered my expectations, even thinking about it makes my head dizzy, low blood pressure and all. i just dont have anything else to live for anymore. i am planning my education just so i can fill some expectations from others, but its not my ”dream”. my ”dream” would be getting away from my family. where i live its not common to just move away when you turn 18, people generally move out when they get married, in their mid-20s or so.
i hate working so much. i have worked a few months for my family business and it was so fucking miserable. the last time i got so stressed i tried killing myself and ended up in the hospital. the work wasnt stressful, sometimes id be playing computer games all day, but i just couldnt handle to go somewhere and work all day and then come home and do absolutely nothing because i just became a fucking zombie. i couldnt do anything after i come home from work, i would stare at the ceiling like a broken robot, no thoughts, literally. i dont know whats wrong with me. i like studying but i cant even socialize. i dont like working but i need a lot of money to leave.
just what the fuck do i do to not feel so much pain and desperation, i cant even get the autism buxx. im not even pretty to sell my body online.
>>1739249>I just don't think many parents are as accepting of faildaughters as they are of failsons
i agree with this but i also think it's dependent on a lot of things like race, age, etc.
overall yes though women are not allowed to become NEETs at the rate men are. it's so funny that scrotes have this idea that women just have it easy despite every facet of reality rebelling against that fact
Never tell any recruiter about mental illness or your spectrum stats. It will not help you and people will look down on you.
Finish interviews no matter how painful or how much of a guaranteed flop it is, and yes reschedule. That route is you functioning despite your problems and not letting them work you.
The worst thing you can do with severe anxiety is seek to be comfortable, as the boundary of comfort and discomfort will always shrink until you are a mute hermit. You have to keep pushing out.
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I just really don't know why I can't fit in anywhere I go. I went into CS with the "I'm gonna be rich and make money, I can learn to make games on the side" mindset. 3 semesters in, I'm seriously considering switching to gamedev because I already wasted years, and I don't want to be here for 4 MORE FUCKING SEMESTERS wasting my parent's money to constantly do high level math and biology I'll forget within a day. I remembered why I hated school recently: being surrounded by people I couldn't give a single shit about doing the same thing day after day, just because its "the right and normal path". I already grew confident enough over the years to dress how I want half the time, but I get too much within my mask/persona of being this mean woman who has better places to be. It works but I just make myself miss out on interactions because I'm so focused on getting home to relax and not worry about breaking the illusion.
I've been absent to all my classes since last Tuesday and used up all excused ones. I haven't been able to stop biting my nails and ruined a month's work of regrowth. I'm grateful to be born reasonably well-off with a roof over my head but I never asked to be born. I wish I knew genuine love and companionship like back in my innocent pre-2nd year of middle school. Really really really trying not to go back to depressed unfeeling neethood because I think if I do I'm gonna do something I'll regret this winter. The only reason I haven't done anything is thanks to my paranoia and self-awareness of how my mask will be permanently broken with no way of going back after years of hiding away and trying to be at least be perceived as a normal, sane person. I am so filled with hate, disappointment, envy, and jealousy. Turn 23 soon but I already feel old…
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I'm finding recovery really hard. I consider myself NEET often but in reality I bounce from job to job, staying 1-4 months typically before losing it again. Right now I'm doing temp work that is very unstable, I get enough money but I can't plan even a week in advance, and I work with retards. However, I'm able to stick with it when I don't seem able to stick with a permanent job, and the variety is kind of fun.
I just know this can't be it forever, getting antsy and I don't know what to try to do next that's realistic for me, don't even know what I want I'm so depressed that I'm passionate about basically nothing. All I know is that I want to do better, and that this shit tires my body out, but I'm good at it. My bf is working overtime both professionally and academically right now and I feel so inadequate.
At least this is better than being on jobseekers allowance (any other povvo britbongs here?) It's survivable for now and I want to do better but doubt my ability to do so.
I haven’t even thought of staffing agencies. I’m going to try that and see if I get a job somewhere. The thing that sucks the most about my situation is that I’ve been like this for over a year. But I’m still trying. And it’s true they don’t want to hire unless you already have years of work experience under your belt. The only jobs willing to hire me are blue collar jobs which I can do but I feel like it’s a waste of my degree. Let’s hope we both get a job >>1762699
I wish I could help but I’m stuck in the same position. I feel like the only way to lose one addiction is to get a different addiction. It’s like losing weight. Most people who lose a great deal of weight end up getting an alcohol addiction. So for you to get rid of your addiction you’d have to find something else to fill your time. Maybe you can try working out? Going on walks? Drawing. Reading. Writing. At least that way people think it’s a more “productive” use of your time instead of being on social media. Maybe you can make a friend and that friend can take you out to places so that you don’t get to be just waiting for your phone to hop back onto social media.
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Covid lockdowns did the final push that sealed my fate, i'm comfortable with being a neet/hikikomori now. I have my own tiny apartment, regular supply of veggies from country side relatives and a bit of passive income, nothing can make me face the disappointments of outside world. I'm abandoning humanity back, haha, take that!
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uhhh why do i still get intimidated by teenagers in public (i am 22)
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Torn between purposefully flopping an interview tomorrow (by being myself) or actually atempting. I've started a sewing class and have to quit if I actually got hired, which would be a shame and it's just a shitty retail job, not to mention my mother is against it, but I dunno, since someone like me won't get many opportunities to join the job market.
It's the years of bullying nonnie
. I'm 29 and still get uncomfortable near them
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>Applied for job
>Already hoping they don't call me back because NEETdom is too comfortable
It's not even a demanding job. Nonnies I hate this.
>>1777178>I have hard time going out there and enjoying things alone, I'm fixated on needing peoples approval all the time, anyone have tips how to get rid off this? Should I just go to therapy?
nta but bump, for me im fine doing alone but only when im out of sight>>1738391
the fawning/ need for validation is a problem…
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Half the jobs I would apply for have heavy lifting listed as a required skill. I'm so out of fucking shape it's not funny. None of the jobs I've applied for have even written me back to reject me. Now when I actually make an honest effort to get a grip all the years of making no effort at all are biting me in the ass.