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Last thread: >>>/ot/1495349
Screech into the oblivion. A place to say how you really feel without other people feeling entitled to give you shit for it.
>Don't respond to other people's rants. It's not about you, you vain bitch.>Newfags please follow this rule and integrate. You will be reported if you insist on responding to other's posts. Previous threads had anons banned because of this.>Don't forget to copy paste the OP onto the new thread.
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900 posts anon
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HEY TWITTER CAN YOU STOP RECOMMENDING ME GARBAGE IN MY FEED
CAN YOU STOP PUTTING VIDEOS OF RETARDS FIGHTING AND WOMEN GETTING ASSAULTED BY MOIDS ON MY FEED
IM NOT INTERESTED IN PICK ME OR MOID OPINIONS EITHER
PLEASE I JUST WANT TO SEE NICE ART THATS IT
NO MORE TRANNY RHETORIC PLEASE
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You are a toxic gaseous cloud that ruins everything it comes into contact with and destroys everything beautiful and good in the world. You are the personification of rot made into flesh and blood. You only live to destroy those around you. Try to deny it all you want, but I can see beneath your disguise and see the mold and decay that you're made up of. Your blood is made out of sewage and your heart is black.
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Bitch I know. The fuck
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Fuck being 'Unbothered. Moisturised. Happy. In my lane. Focused. Flourishing' I'm Bothered. Unmoisturised. Unhappy. Not in my lane. Unfocused. Withering.
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Everyone says you're such a sweet guy but why the fuck are you doing this to me? What did I ever do to you??I wish I never met you. Great and now I have to put on my happy face and act like everything is fine when all I want to do is cry and sleep.
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anon i'm also half southeast asian and i feel the same way. i really don't know how to feel about people trying to befriend me blatantly telling me that it's because they have an asian fetish and i'm "the closest thing" to beloved japan or korea. i don't want to be a compromise but it's genuinely almost every single person i know, and that includes part of my family.
my contribution to this thread somewhat related to the post i'm replying to, i'm ashamed of being asian and especially southeast asian. it's honestly brought me nothing but misery objectification and harassment. i don't live there and i hope i never do because each time i go i guiltily dislike it more than the last. i've had two therapists tell me to just "explore and research" some more about it and somehow it'll make me like it but that has had the complete opposite effect even when i go in with an earnestly open mind. i would feel the exact same if i were east asian inb4 selfhating weeaboo i wish i was just fully from the half i was born and raised in. i feel next to no pride for my asian half, especially considering i wasn't ever treated well by that side at all from getting excluded to outright bullied by adults, which really doesn't help my negative feelings. i don't hate
anyone or anything but it feels bad that even if i try to dissociate myself from that part of my identity it'll always follow me no matter what because it's not something that can be helped in any way and i'll look even more pathetic either way. i know i'll just have to accept it but it's hard when there's constant daily harassment about something i wouldn't ever willingly choose
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Wow, you're surprised you're depressed and miserable after consuming copious amounts of doomer mentality fitness YouTubers who have nothing else to do than sit around hating on fat people and complaining about the health of a country you don't even live in? But I thought shaming yourself into losing weight was perfectly fine and would have no negative consequences on your mentality at all. You reached your goal weight, so why aren't you happy? People applaud you for your dedication, so why are you so angry?
You let a bald man with roid rage tell you how much you suck for being overweight and convince you that nothing was more important than living as long as possible and as healthy as possible, so why do you suddenly not want to live anymore? The world is fucked, you say, but you've got everything you need. A nice job. A big apartment and plenty of time to enjoy your hobbies. I'd be more sympathetic if I didn't know exactly where this mentality would bring you and now you're reaping what you sowed - utter misery!
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There’s really nothing more freeing than when you finally start to understand how much an irredeemable piece of garbage someone was so that you can move on with your life. That moment when it finally all clicks into place. Feels good man.
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I wish I could move on and come to terms with the fact that you don't want the same things as me and that you don't feel the same way I do, but it's so hard. It's even harder because neither of us want to be apart from each other, but I don't know if I can do this. You're the only person I have, you're the only person I've ever cared about. You're the only one I want to be with and it hurts so bad. I wish I had the guts to ask you exactly what you're feelings for me are, but I'm so afraid I'm not gonna like the answer. I wish I could hate you but I can't even get angry with you for things I should probably get angry about. I wish I had never turned around and asked "Why? You like Formula 1?" that day so this all could've just stayed a silly little crush. I feel so stupid I ended up like this. It's just so unlike me.
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>look mate/brother/bro/dude, I dislike them troons as much as anyone else, but Im going to call (One of the good ones), she/her because-
Dude just admit that he makes your dick hard.
All that feminist shit you repeat you more then likely got from some radfem/gc woman smarter then you who ACTUALLY believes this shit. The whole point is they ARE NOT WOMEN. Not,
>"They aren't woman unless they are a based fake trad"wife" who makes my dick hard
>they hate ugly annoying troons just like me!
>One of the good ones
And yes, I know "respecting pronouns" doesn't magically make them a woman, BUT the thing is GC call them men, he/him because they ARE. They can't earn the correct pronouns through some weird ass, "One of the good ones" test.
No. I hate scrotes in gender critical spaces, they don't get it, I wish they'd leave. I don't care why you want to call one a her/she/they, they are men.
The ugly ones, the "pretty ones", the ones hiding behind 20 filters, the ones with a dick, without a dick. The ones with sense, the ones without sense. They aren't women.
All you are saying is, I will play into your deluision if you "woman" enough for me, or if you "Are a tool for me", it does nothing. Most these dudes still hate women and have said crazy shit. They aren't different, you just want to fuck them and/or like that "common sense" is coming out of a troons mouth, so you can use them as a sheild.
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STOP EMPTY QUOTING RANDOM SHIT! Don't think I didn't just see you on /m/ too
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>something a neighbor does is making me paranoid for weeks
>take a measure to make me feel more secure that would prevent them from doing what I thought they were doing
>neighbor completely stops what was making me paranoid
Great now THAT has made me even more paranoid. I just have to keep assuming it's a coincidence or I will go insane. I can't control others I can only control what I can control
You joke about rape. You victim
blame. You deny. You send and laugh at pooner memes but pretend you hate transphobia. Your 'peers' are getting bored with your talking in circles. Buffalo Bill ass.
>>1546326>I had always been told to oblige, behave and listen to adults, so it never occurred to me that I should have been screaming for help when an old lady took me away.
Damn. I was always told this all the time as a kid but only for teachers and any family member who was older than me, even my big sister who was also a dumbass kid. Which is a good thing because something very similar would have happened to me otherwise. When I was like 6 years old I was in a gigantic supermarket with my mom, she told me to look after our groceries bags while she was in the restroom and immediatly some lady tried to compliment me and convince me to follow her to the parking lot and I was so scared my mother would beat the fuck out of me for letting strangers steal our food while playing outside I refused. My mother still yelled at me when I told her though kek. Shit like this gave me an insane survival instinct.>>1546328>so when a strange woman invited us inside to give us a toy, we totally didn't question that!
When the old lady tried to kidnap me in my case it was very soon after an infamous serial killer pedophile got caught in my country for kidnapping, raping and killing girls and his wife was the one who lured in these girls because of exactly what you just said. This shit is paranoia inducing.
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Was told to read Terry Pratchett by a friend because apparently he's a wholesome and not at all sexist writer.
Book starts with a bunch of male charactes. So many it's hard to keep track of them. Their descriptions are fun, though. Creative and sometimes enough to make me chuckle.
>main character meets first woman to appear in the book
>"the first thing he noticed was that she wasn't very beautiful"
And the rest of the description was just the main character considering how many centuries it would take him to find her beautiful while she's charging at him in anger.
So all the male characters get funny and creative descriptions, not really from anyone's perspective either, just the author describing them, but suddenly a woman appears and all he can think of is to describe how the main character doesn't find her fuckable. Give me a break.
>>1546326>I had always been told to oblige, behave and listen to adults, so it never occurred to me that I should have been screaming for help when an old lady took me away.
So glad you were ok nonna.
I think about this concept a lot, our whole youth we're told to listen to the instructions of adults, be it parents, teachers or any authority figure. It puts people in such a vulnerable position in their youth because actually a lot of adults are either dumbshits or dangerous, yet we are told to respect and behave. Also leads to shitty and dangerous situations for women as they get older after being agreeable good little girls (or actually danger in childhood like your experience) and not being taught boundaries and self respect. A bit different for boys but they still get taken advantage of and creeped on by adults so this culture harms us all.
We really need to raise people to be much more self assured and careful, (or even combative) but then of course adults would have a harder time controlling kids so apparently we all need to suffer due to basically being taught the opposite of what we should be doing.
At least my school and parents did teach us about stranger danger and all that, but in general being "agreeable" is actually not what we should be taught as kids and we would be a lot safer if we behaved more cynically and disobediently as kids and young adults.
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At this point I'm going to start vomiting my food
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nothing ever works it's always just the same old discontented screaming into the void as I dwindle further into self doubt but nobody has ever taken me seriously and is now acting like I am insane when I am probably the most stable I've been in years
BELIEVE ME MOTHERFUCKERS WHY WOULD I HAVE MOTIVE TO WEAVE SUCH AN ELABORATE LIE
WHY DO YOU NOT FUCKING UNDERSTAND
I AM TELLING
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i'm obsessed with him and i think i got engaged to the wrong person. and im jealous obviously
One at a time, people flip… maybe change will happen for the better. Maybe maybe maybe
Nona, i feel the same… Probably won't be helpful to you to hear that, but you are not alone in feeling like that…>>1549948
If she keeps bringing that up - it definitely sounds strange, at least in my honest opinion, idk, everyone is different, but it does seem strange
Thanks nona, I hope we can improve for ourselves
I want to be content again
I'm trying to cry myself back to sleep and I can't
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>whole new thread gets made so that people can stop replying to vents
>people still reply anyway
(only replying now because this isn't a vent and I agree)
Jannies need to give out bans for this again. Anons need to figure out that this isn't the vent thread, you don't reply to vents in the 'get it off your chest' thread. So stupid, couldn't they at least read the OP?>Don't respond to other people's rants. It's not about you, you vain bitch.>Newfags please follow this rule and integrate. You will be reported if you insist on responding to other's posts. Previous threads had anons banned because of this.
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3pm? perfect time to wake and greet the day
better to go and cry in my car than cry in the house where someone can hear me and complain
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My inner child remains in a vegetative state and can't let me watch the Mario movie.
My inner teenager, though, is very much kicking yet wasted nearly an hour of my life on this puzzle just to prove his stupid point (not that I really know what it is). - -
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Are you done writing fanfiction about me? Are you done tethering your entire life to me? Are you done playing pretend that what you do isn't wrong? Nothing you say to absolve yourself means anything outside of the sad little cult of personality you have created. You want to talk to me all of the time, you want to talk about me all the time, you want everyone to view me as you see fit and treat me as you see fit because you are a legitimate psychopath who doesn't know how to derive any sort of joy or meaning from life outside of who you hurt. None of the things you're saying resonate or even make sense at this point. You are stomping your feet and saying "I swear guys just wait you'll see!!!!" The only monster here is you.
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I hate it when famous people die and bitches act like everyone in the world is supposed to be miserable and mourn over that fucker. Like fuck you and the moid you've been in a parasocial relationship with. I'll continue to joke, I'll continue to talk about my hobbies, I'll continue to be happy because I'm going through one of the happiest phase of my life. I'm not going to post a "rip xyz this world just lost an angel" and weep like my pet rock fucking died, I give zero fucks about him and couldn't care less if my happiness comes across as 'strange' and 'insensitive' to you fags. I'm happy. You can cry all by yourself.
A kpop faggot.>>1555343
Yeah. For some reason, no matter where I go, I see people crying over him even when it's a non-kpop space. Never knew there's so many kpopfags in this world.
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I wonder what kind of people generally ignore all pleas to stop, victim blame, crave power and control over people with lesser resources, and completely ignore constant reiterating that they do not consent. Hmmmmmmm(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)
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god if you really exist and aren't a sociopath then do me a favor and have something bad happen to this piece of shit male already
if you really exist then you will help me.
I'm at the end of my physical, mental, spiritual, and existential rope
If you post details I will reply as best as I can. >>1555882
It's OK. If she's struggling and doesn't know who to reach out to, I don't see the problem.
If you do not mind sharing what those coincidences are, I can try to give you more advice. This really is an extreme problem right now, and because men are so indoctrinard to protect eachother even when and especially when it involves the exploitation of a woman, I don't think it will be addressed properly for several years. Terminally online men are currently being given way too much power, and there is no resources on this issue because normal people cannot fathom why anyone would do something like this to regular women.
Average women are currently being stalked through their phone devices just as often if not more often than celebrity women right now, there is an entire niche industry for this on the dark web. Anyone who denies this or tries to tell you there isn't is either purposely trying to divert you from the truth or is truly clueless. I know learning this information can be really scary, which is why so many women want to think this is a creepy pasta, but its only growing worse in scale and making sure that they cannot access you so easily is very important.
Things to note:
-your iPhone and android phones are easier to hack than your computer, and because of the nature of them being very small supercomputers with multiple microphones (3-5, often hidden where you cannot remove them all or make the device unfunctuonal if you try) your every move can be heard even from 30, 40 feet away
-Moids do not care about your privacy, and ones who 'test' you with private information or ask you personal questions online need to be avoided - do not risk engaging with them in any way, they enjoy this
-Even people you have been 'mutuals' with online for years can be a perpetrator, I have seen people who appear to be very morally sound with strong senses of conviction take part in this kind of stalking
-There are whole communities dedicated to cyber voyeurism. They sell, they trade, they spread, and they have no remorse or any fear of legal repercussion for what they are doing
-Any apple propaganda you hear is a lie and apple phones are the absolute easiest to hack and remotely overtake - all cameras, microphones, your screen, everything
-There is literally nothing you can download to protect yourself if you are a target of these hackers and they often work in groups to continually infect your new devices
If you truly believe you have already been chosen as a victim
, you absolutely need to move your photos to a USB, do not touch anything on your phone at all, and lock it away in a closet to hopefully be combed for evidence later. Factory reset does nothing but obscure any possible evidence of them extracting your data if it exists. All zero day exploits used to overtake cellphones are designed to reinstall themselves after every factory reset. My general advice to any women with a stalker is to ditch your smartphone permanently and know that any phone you use can be infected, no matter how little information you have attached to it. If they can't use one exploit, they will try another. If your stalker has any extra money at all, there is a chance they have commissioned these hackers because they want access to your every private move. It sounds like it belongs in a movie but it is objective truth, it's a scary reality that will only worsen. I cannot reiterate enough that this community is growing in numbers and they truly do not give a single fuck about how disgusting what they're doing is. They get off on your emotional distress. They want you to become a victim
I support any and all women who believe they could be victims
of this kind of stalking. Before it happened to me, I never would have believed any of this is even possible. I would have told both of you that youre paranoid and reading into coincidences. I have never seen a more pathetic and disgusting underground group of people in my life except for pedophiles, and I worry a lot for the future of women and especially children.
>>1556945>If your stalker has any extra money at all, there is a chance they have commissioned these hackers
Oh he does and he did. I'm assuming he doesn't really have the expertise for hacking himself but whoever's doing this probably serves him a dossier. I unfortunately think he knows a lot about me and it makes my skin crawl
It's disturbing that I've sort of adjusted my behavior to befit the idea I'm being watched when I should be pretending I'm not, but I'd like to think of it as an irritating game. Most irritating that I can't abandon all my tech and switch to a flip phone or else I'll lose multiple things I use on the daily or need access too. Fucking accursed smartphone generation
>because they want access to your every private move
I'm surprised I haven't been directly threatened yet given the implications of what I have done in retaliation until I could no longer stand it, but I guess he's the revenge best served cold type. Psychological abuser creep needs to be euthanized where he hunches over his monitor but nobody's going to do jackshit and I don't know if I can safely transfer over to a new phone
I guess I feel more self assured but I am disgusted with no idea how long this has been happening. So many of my accounts and interactions are lost and I can't easily track back.
Would like to add that what meager evidence I have tends to get dismissed as coincidental and I've been called crazy and psychotic by several people, but there are also several people who believe me. The divisive reaction has led me to stop revealing it to altogether. Outside of anonymous spaces and people I trust I barely feel safe. My own family are neglectful, abusive
nutjobs themselves. All I have is a handful of friends and a shrink and the anonymous internet. Fuck my life.
It's not even outlandish that a misogynistic man with money and connections to hackers and "private investigators", would target women, especially given that I buy into the belief that there's a market for this and it's not a schizo larp. Jesus christ, fuck that flabby germ who I believe is behind this. I literally tried to kill myself and put my life on halt for months, desecrating my body and my mind, distancing myself from most of my friends and thinking I wasn't going to survive. Whoever did this? They knew. They knew and picked a traumatized woman.
My mental health issues aside I know somethings wrong when I see it, and this is not delusions, psychosis or my mental health issues at work, but it certainly did worsen them to the point where I almost died. So fuck this, if someone wants me to die or wishes for demise then they can dox and find me themselves! Come out from behind the monitor and stop using tawdry psych manipulation
We've all seen those eerie hacked security camera sites, so why wouldn't hackers be able do it to someone's phone? Jesus christo
>>1557555>tl dr "you are a schizo and pegasus doesn't exist"
if my fucking replies would POST I SWEAR TO GOD IF THIS IS ANOTHER GLITCH AND IT POSTS TWENTY TIMES
Nta but technology is scarier when you do understand it. Also those sites on clearnet are nothing like the ones on darkweb. There is a huge market on the dw right now of streaming security cameras inside of people's homes, often in intimate places. I don't understand why that's so unfathomable for some of you–do you really think scores of men who spend hours every day around child exploitation content wouldn't also do it to adult women as well? Home security cameras are so simple to hack, there are imageboard-esque directories similar to the now defunct anon-ib where you can watch people's security cameras based on location. Just because something is hidden from you doesn't mean it doesn't exist. >>1557581
You don't need Pegasus. All of these exploits Pegasus claims to take "millions of dollars" to do exist on tor for an extremely meager fraction of whatever price Apple propaganda is trying to claim it takes. Give some guy on tor $1000 and he will do it, less if you find the right guy and already know more details about the person. That anon is exactly like how I was before I learned what can really be done with technology, they mean well but they're extremely naive and think their limited knowledge on technology they've garnered from Google university is law for some reason. >>1557397>im surprised I haven't been directly threatened
Voyeurs won't directly threaten you because they're aware that is immediate grounds for lawful retaliation. That is why they do so in roundabout ways because they view you as a toy and not a person. You should not seek "playing games" with someone this mentally ill–I promise that whatever you do on your own doesn't infuriate him the way you want it to. Also I do believe you because you say he has access to money and that is genuinely all it takes. The hackers that sell this kind of stuff generally coach buyers on how to cover their tracks or what to do and not do, such as limiting things to a device that doesn't trace back to them and use it for nothing else, travel to a different area without your cellphone to view content, etc. Its pretty fucked up.>>1557404
'Broken' women are viewed as ideal targets for this kind of stalking. Their reasoning varies not just for sexual gratification, but also profit and humiliation. They view what they're doing as harmless because the victims
are often unaware, its really fucked up. I do believe you. You are not spouting schizobabble, you are understandably very upset. It's hard to not be upset knowing you've been exploited in the most intimate way possible, and no one cares. I am content with most anons not believing what I'm saying as long as it gets through to those who need it. I maintain that there will come a time in the future where all of this is exposed, and a lot of people who gaslit you are going to feel guilty. People will deny the truth if it feels inconceivable to them, and I understand why most people don't want to believe this is easy. People with wealth do this all of the time, and if you are an average woman who has already been struggling through life, you are the perfect victim
. I think a lot of anons just need basic re-education on tech that goes beyond wiki and youtube videos and they will see why all of this is tangible. Its just such a dangerous thing because Apple doesn't want people to know, and they have history of stalking and harassing whistle-blowers, and real schizos would pick it up and absorb it into their word salad arsenal as well. It does feel like an uphill struggle. I know you said you need a smartphone in your daily life, buy I urge you to stop using it for anything personal and do not keep it close to you outside of a work context. Do not bring it with you everywhere.
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I'm 34 and feel like the oldest bitch here. I feel this way in general life too. What is an ageing milennial to do? Start a cat sanctuary? Do a bodybuilding competition? Crochet? Retreat into nostalgia? I truly don't know, every day is groundhog day and the internet is no longer comfy.
, I love cats. I one day want to move somewhere less urban so I could build a cat run. I have a medium dog and an ageing large one. They do raise my spirits.
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I'm a few years older than you nona. Always glad to see other oldfags here. It feels like many has fled LC recently and been replaced with underage twitter users.
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Why have I been having sexual thoughts about a moid at work after 30 years of being patently a lesbian. It happened with another moid lately too and it's disturbing me to say the least.
damn this is scary, cyberspying anon if you're still here, how do moids even hack/take control of your phone? i'm retarded but don't they need to know something about you first like an account that you're using and that's linked to your phone or your phone number? how are you even supposed to notice? yikes>>1559622
nta but tbh there's a difference between venting about your mean bi ex and ranting about bi women anytime this sexual orientation is mentioned even in passing which is kinda a thing on lc
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I'm a pickme and I hate other women.
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>webms of gore, workplace accidents where men get hurt/die, cannibalism, livestream shootings, and men getting beat up and yet moids save this to their computers and mock the moids in these webms
Moids are their own worst enemy lmao no matter what they tell you they dont give a fuck about other men and never have.
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Cringe lmao I love other women and watching them post about their husbandos(>Don't respond to other people's rants. It's not about you, you vain bitch.)
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Don't reply to me newfags. I posted in this thread instead of the vent thread precisely because I don't want your input. I just want to vent.
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This tweet is hilarious because the person who wrote it is genuinely a manipulative monster LOL
Why wasn't I born in a loving family? What did I do to deserve all this? How come my mom ruffles my cousin's hair but pulls out mine everytime she touches my head? Am I that unlovable compared to others? How come nobody believed me, a wounded child, when I said that my parents vent their anger at me, but instead believed my parents when they said I just 'slip and fall a lot' and am making it up?
Hell I'm not even born in a rich family, my parents are dirt poor so I can't afford to move out (for now, since I need to complete my studies and get a job first, I only work part-time) unless I want to end on streets as a woman in this rapey country. Everytime I see a loving family I get jealous and start crying right then and there like a fucking loser. I still remember, back then in elementary school I went to my friend's house for the first time, she and her family was a bit similar to mine — poor and with only four members, so I thought everything else would be the same too. But nope. It was so loving, so gentle, so warm, so kind. Her dad called her a 'bunny' because of her front tooth gap so she was never insecure of them, I also have them but it was because my father knocked out my teeth once so they grew like this later. I've always hated them. That's when I realised my family wasn't normal. That was also when I felt jealousy for the first time. I can't take this. I really can't take this. I wish I was born into a loving family. Why did I suffer just for being born? I've never even been a disobedient child, I tried my best. I always tried my best. Yet they never love me, not even once.
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>Oppenheimer to be released in less than 3 months.
>Still just has a teaser poster.
And the director isn't even from your country, that's how easy your history is to forget anyway, USA.
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I have enough self awareness to know I'm acting cringey and weird in front of you but I can't help it. I just really want to be your friend. So far you haven't protested so I assume you want to be my friend too
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I always thought that this whole "club 27" thing was a coincidence or whatever but I should've known when my friends joked about me hopefully not killing myself after turning 27 earlier this year (despite never mentioning anything about suicide). So far it's been nothing but pain. I feel like a punching bag, my eyes are constantly swollen from crying and I always feel tired from all the distress, anxiety and lack of sleep. I just want the pain to stop. Can't I be happy for once in my life. I don't know what I ever did to deserve this. I have no more strength left. Almost 30 years of my life and I can't remember the last time I was happy. Why was I even born.
Because that anon's post talks about touching, not rejection. Looks like >>1566652
"It's just a movie" a movie portraying the same type of person that ruined my life and the lives of people i cared about, i don't give a single shit if I look demented a-logging to the screen, this is personal, I'm hurt and I've so much bottled pain, i need a release, you have no idea of the type of pain i cope with daily, my life got destroyed, i was never the same after that, I'll a-log any worthless, alcoholic, violent scrote that reminds me of him, I'll a-log about how much I want them to die, I've the right to be angry, my wrath is not only mine, but for those i lost to him. Fuck you, i hate you guts, you fucking psychopath, you will burn in hell
Like your 'let me base my entire personality on being a hypocritical condescending liar while simultaneously condemning literally everything and shoving all my brain power into weirdly juvenile attempts at upsetting the people I've hurt and violated omg oomfs tap in' thing is glaringly pathetic when you're on the actual tail end of your 20s. It doesn't trigger
the way you want it to, but it shows exactly the kind of person you really are and how it directly contradicts the persona you've thrown so much effort into building. You continue to feed into a lie because it's the most interesting thing about you and you have nothing else to talk about a majority of the time. 'Omg see watch' you are a grown man.
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You're fucking evil I don't care!!!!!!
You dont live in reality and >>1576158
You need to get over the girls who bullied you for being fat in middle school and>>1576223
No one cares lol(>Don't respond to other people's rants. It's not about you, you vain bitch.)
I hate the way my partner acts at night with our newborn. Between the hours of like 11pm-8am he’s super impatient and irritable when he feeds her the bottle. He tries to force feed her, he won’t burp her, he tries to put her back to sleep as quickly as he can which just means she spits up all over herself and needs changed and then she’s wide awake and full of gas so I have to try nursing her to sleep and then I’m awake for an extra hour which means I get an hour of sleep before the next feed if I’m lucky. He acts like he’s so hard done by, yet I’m the one that actually gets out of bed, goes downstairs, makes the bottle, waits for it to heat slightly, comes back upstairs and then pumps for 40 minutes to make sure she has milk for another bottle. When she cries, he just puts her on his thighs facing him and he seems to think that counts as holding her and comforting her. I watched him literally close his eyes and sleep while holding the bottle in her mouth last night and had to wake him up multiple times.
Don’t get me wrong, he’s a great parent during the day - super attentive, super supportive of me as well - but it’s like he’s replaced with a lesser version of himself at night. He has the absolute audacity to act like he’s the only tired one as well, like I’m not the default parent.
The universe is looking out for me though because she just spat up all over him as I write this.
I think I need to get away from my family. I bring them shame because I am retarded and autistic. I don’t do well with extended family. My parents tell me why can’t I be bubbly and talkative. What hurts me most is my mom, she doesn’t say anything but I can feel the shame, it’s been this way since I was young, I would cry when I noticed as a kid how much better she treated other girls, and I would cry out of jealousy. At 30 years old, I still get dreams of my mom abandoning me or acting very cold towards me, and I bawl and cry to get her attention but she never does. I think she only tolerates me because I am useful for computer stuff, paying bills, etc., and being the only other woman in our family to talk to. I’m at her brother’s right now and she just completely forgets me. It’s ok though, she’s with her family, but still I feel so pathetic. I want to leave and leave them, even though I could forever stay with my parents I think it is best for me to leave them. However I am retarded and I can’t live out on my own, and don’t make enough to rent an apartment or something. I don’t know, I’m becoming older and I want to feel good about myself but I feel that won’t happen until I finally leave my family.
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My back hurts really really badly. I'm in so much pain now ow ow
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I'm glad I will never be that bitter
I'm not pretipping EVER AGAIN after a pizza delivery scrote copped an attitude with me because he was too retarded to read & walked into the wrong place first. He whined when I literally put the business name in the delivery notes. I should've called him an obese fuckup but I just grimaced and took the pizza because I was at work
I'll never pretip you people because I don't know how the fuck you'll perform sowwy(>Don't respond to other people's rants. It's not about you, you vain bitch.)
Maybe I would get upset if it all weren't heavily documented with a paper trail you were too stupid to control. Now, I just see you for the pathetic person you are. There isn't anything prolific or powerful about you. It's even sadder that you continue. All of this obsession, effort, time, and money just shoveled into abuse and a constant barrage of literal sexual harassment and voyeurism. The fact that you feel absolutely no remorse for what you've done and continue to do, and how your need to keep a single human being as a punching bag and special interest despite clear boundaries of no and I do not consent. forcing yourself wherever you dont belong. Shocking, someone who lies about this can lie about bigger and far worse things. Your orbiters aren't as sad as you but watching a few ouroboros is pitiful. I can already see you intend to lie about this until the very end, you have far too much on the line. You don't care about any one or anything except monopolizing all of your interactions and relationships and being a perpetual victim in spite of the fact that you are ever bit the aggressor. You can't continually pretend you don't care while spending every waking moment of your life obsessing over manipulating every single online interaction you have, hours upon hours spent backtracking, trying to fabricate a new narrative that you believe will absolve you, spending so much time on trying to fix what was already done on discord. How are you not exhausted by yourself. You can't keep everyone hanging on to your own shrine of obsession forever.
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It's just better to pretend to be male. It's so exhausting, anonymous imageboards are supposed to be a place where I can be myself, but because a coin was flipped I can't do that. I have to make up an entire fake identity on an ANONYMOUS imageboard, I hate it so much! I really do wish I was born male, not because of ~dysphoria~ or whatever but because I'm cut off from doing so many things I want to do just because I'm female. I don't feel unwelcome on the site exactly (unless I say that I'm female which I would never dare), nobody knows who I am, but I feel singled out just posting normal posts and it's uncomfortable trying to fake everything that's not just shitposting. I can't do anything that involves me irl (I REALLY want to sing an oc but my voice would be an instant giveaway) or anything that has to do with any body part, even just my hand which eliminates so many fun things. It's so frustrating and I don't even feel like a real user of the site, just an observer, even though I've been there since january and contributed to its culture a huge amount and been there for every major and minor happening, literally every happening. Nothing will change how they are and I want to be male so much so I can be like any other poster.
Not something on my chest but something on my mind, I have a half sister, 8 days older than me and we've always been told we look alike except she is way fatter and that's saying something because I'm very big. Basically twins. I dunno, despite her size she has always been pretty, beautiful hair, nice sense of fashion, cute face even without the makeup. She still looks like me to this day, except without the 2 decades of being terminally online and depressed and with years of success and self care. Honestly kinda envy her, but if she looks like me then there's hope for me? These differences were probably hinted at early on in life my dad always preferred her over me.
I wanna get in contact with her so bad, make a new friend and ask for advice as a big girl but I don't know if our personalities today will crash or get along, I'm not exactly likable and she's always had a great social life.
I hate how obsessed with babies and kids moids are when they also in the same breath refuse to acknowledge the potential grave consequences of having them. Giving birth can often be physically and psychologically traumatic for women as well as extremely expensive. Cryptic pregnancies can happen, unwanted children can happen, so many things can go wrong. But since the man can just leave and since the man is not risking anything in childbirth like the woman is, men are totally fine with just glossing over the consequences. Men just want "cute babies uwu" or some kind of "legacy", they never actually care about raising a family and once they realize how hard it is to raise kids they drop everything and run. I hate how even men that even I trust seem to love babies, and while liking babies in and of itself it not necessarily a bad thing, when a man is saying it I instantly get suspicious because often their love of babies and often unspoken love of fetuses is almost always propped up as more important than a woman's wellbeing. I cannot trust men who actually think that having babies is a universally good thing because it's often a red flag for a disturbing level of entitlement to a woman's body and life. The moment a woman experiences one of the many extremely dangerous side effects of childbirth, she's seen as either lazy or making it up, or is painted as a pure evil witch who needs to be tortured to death. In very clear cut cases of post-partum psychosis or depression, instead of actually paying attention to the facts and seeing it as a tragic case that ended up hurting and traumatizing a mother and child, people literally say that the woman needs to be slowly tortured to death for failing as a mother. They push women towards childbirth and the moment something tragic happens, the woman needs to be fucking tortured, in their eyes. I understand that raising a child can be a good thing, but I have serious issues trusting anyone who thinks that childbirth is just this sacred, perfect thing where nothing could possibly go wrong. Just underneath that seemingly innocent attitude is a sick sadism and entitlement to women.
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Your behavior is actually embarrassing, no, is not cool nor based, is embarrassing, i seriously don't understand your thought process, how did you turn out like this? Are you actually retarded? And is always some bullshit excuse with you, i seriously doubt that i would hurt others the way you do if I was in your shoes, you sure love to project your psychopathy on everyone else, no idiot, not everyone is searching for excuses to abuse literally everything that has a pulse, there's something deeply wrong with you and I'm allowed to hate you for it.
You could've been a decent person, kinda fucky but genuinely smart, but that's not the case, I'm sick of being forced to pretend you are this genius when you're so damn impulsive, immature and autistic, the more you keep breathing in the same planet as me the worse your actions get and is so appalling, you are appalling. There's literally nothing good about your existence besides the fact that you're a living tool to someone else and you don't even complain, then you have the fucking gal to call everyone else "pathetic", having such a dull soul is pathetic.
You think nobody noticed? Everyone notices, is literally flagrant the fact you're incredibly, massively insecure, and you know what? That's normal we all have flaws yet you're the only person acting all weird and caustic about it, I doesn't have to be this way, you could allow yourself to have some depth, you're not the only one with issues you could try and relate to others but you just have your head too far up your own ass to change, your inability to change not only makes you an horrid person but also a massively disappointing and pointless individual. I don't give a single shit about "muh culture" and "muh values", your culture suck ass and you have no values, so stfu already and develop some actual personality instead of tryharding life itself
I sure hope you don't ever complain about being lonely or everyone hating you because you literally did this to yourself, you kick people out of your life, how are we supposed to give you a chance if you do your damn best to hurt others?
Me. I need a cigarette so much. But don't do it nonnie
! It stinks and you'll feel bad.
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It's so funny actually it's so creepy how abusive people will continue to spin yarn until the very end. They will continue to say whatever desperate string of word salad they can muster in order to try to hurt their target. It becomes so desperate and sad and never lands how they want because at the end of the day they are the ones trying so hard to convince the world that they have the right to abuse you for whatever disjointed reason. Just firing off whatever, throwing shit and just praying it sticks, over and over their whole lives. Get a fucking life.
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If that’s you that keeps peeking at my public IG stories
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please stop dunking on me; I'm already dead
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This is accurate too, why deny it?
I mean, hey, all the best kaiju movies have had that leviathan immersion thanks to the scope of the friggin buildings.
Just look at half of Cloverfield, the boat sword scene from Pacific Rim, or any Godzilla movie where he's first introduced on Earth.
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You're really getting on my last nerve with this shit YOU FUCKING RETARD REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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I'm sorry but no one fucking reads your entire "dni" when they just wanna see your cute characters
Kek it’s funny you say that because that’s exactly the slur that black guy on the train called me.>>1585977
Whoever that is is not me??? I mentioned black men too? Lol is this were we pretend black women are angels incapable of harming other women?(Don't respond to other people's rants. It's not about you, you vain bitch)
It is. She always posts retarded racebait and then follows up with>I'm mixed btw
to try and avoid a ban. She is an irrelevant indigent from a Pakistani village, I don't know why she's obsessed with black people.
I am literally not her. Wouldn’t I have made multiple spelling mistakes by now? I don’t like desis either. Is it inconceivable that someone else may have had a bad interaction with a black person? >>1586032
He called me a paki as in the racial slur(racebaiting)
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I have a surgery scheduled for Friday and I am freaking out. It's to possibly reverse an ostomy I have right now due to colon cancer. No clue if the reversal will be a success or not. And I don't know if the anesthesia will work, I do a lot of edibles pretty much daily so I'm worried they'll interact. I stopped yesterday but should I have stopped earlier? I'm scared nonas. What if I wake up during the surgery, or worse not wake up at all? The previous surgery was all done as an emergency so I didn't have the chance to freak out. This fucking sucks. Green jello since that's all I'll probably be able to eat for a bit.
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I get that the elitism around imageboard etiquette is needed to keep twitterfags and other normies out, but ffs it took me like two years of lurking to get it all, with one of those years spent learning how the fuck to sage.
>"Omg you asked how to sage? CRINGE lurk moar lulul"
SHUT THE FUCK UP, SHUT YOUR BITCH ASS UP, I HAVE OTHER THINGS TO DO, JUST FUCKING TELL ME, IT'S NOT GONNA OPEN THE FLOODGATES OF TWITTER OR TUMBLR, BOTH YOU AND I WILL PROBABLY BE ACCUSED OF BEING TWITTERFAGS OR MOIDS BY OTHER FARMERS OVER SOME STUPID SHIT ANYWAYS, YOU'RE NOT BEING DARK AND MYSTERIOUS FOR KEEPING THAT USELESS ASS KNOWLEDGE FROM ME
And then they fucking report you even though you posted in a NON-DRAMA BOARD and then the farmhands PUBLICALLY HUMILIATE YOU there is no fucking humanity left
I avoid the home page like a motherfucker so that i never come across cp
You never know when a tranny decides to go on a spamming rampage
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Just did the interview. It went pretty well and they are kind but I feel like they won't want me, instead opting for someone else. Which is fine because I might have issues traveling abroad right now. It is what it is.
But the dumbest moment is that I thought I was talking with the agency people and it was the mother and my dumb tired ass didn't put it together so I look like a moron.
Nona that's not the first page, it's https://lolcow.farm/
The people self-righteously jumping on anons and telling them to sage on /ot are probably newfags themselves but if it took you two years to learn how to sage and you still can't tell the front page from the info page you're probably retarded sorry.
Get therapy you retard. Or lock yourself in a room without any Internet connection so at least your mental illness wouldn't bother everyone else just existing. You're so utterly useless and truly a waste of oxygen, you add nothing to the world and shouldn't be allowed to showcase your untreated retardation anywhere. No matter how much 'effort' you put into yourself or your appearance, nobody will ever like you. Absolutely nobody. At your best, you'll receive a shred of attention from those looking for holes to fuck and forget (which is the kind of attention you seek to begin with while continuously being a bitch to women who have done you no harm). At your worst—no, at your usual, a bus can run over you and people wouldn't even care that you're bleeding right there on the road. Look at your gross face in the mirror and ask yourself, are you worthy of love? No, that's why you've never been loved or would be. Are you worthy of even breathing? Also no, so do this world a favour and go ahead with the plans you've been making everyday. Will anyone remember/think about you? Yes, when they're thinking of the most pathetic human being they've ever met in life. You're worthless. I know that you worthless. You know that you worthless. Whether they're fictional (those moids you obsess over) or real, everyone knows that you're worthless. You can't even be your vile true self because your equally vile fake self is hated too.
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Stop being so vague and shove your fake positivity up your ass. You know nothing. "Just don't be sad, just do this, just do that!" Shut the fuck up.
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Important enough for you that I'm the person you vent to and talk about deeply personal issues but not important enough for you to treat me like a proper girlfriend and introduce me to your family? Fuck off, dude, how does any of this make any sense? How the fuck do you think it makes me feel?
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Today I will remind them: Trannies get the rope.
This deserves a reply - you sound like an abusive
faggot and im sure you are. I guarantee whoever you are talking about doesn't deserve this very poor attempt at a toxic
a log and you're an embarrassment for trying so hard. This kind of melodrama is always teeming with mental illness. So sorry you clearly hate women enough to delusionally believe your irrational obsession with one woman deserves this kind of poor, obviously personal and fantastical diatribe(Don't respond to other people's rants. It's not about you, you vain bitch.)
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I love lolita so much and if you want to stop me you'd have to kill me
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Samefagging to say that I was talking about a gay 'femboy' moid (he memed himself into being a femboy because he's obsessed with anime kek) I know irl who posts misogynistic shit online because he's mad that a friend of mine 'stole' the straight guy he was into, he also makes vague slut-shaming 'jokes' about her and talks behind her back in our uni. My friend is the nicest person I've ever seen, she doesn't deserve this and I'll stand by her no matter what. I've told this shit to his face but it only got him angrier and he told me, a woman with a gf, that I'm 'homophobic' for calling him out kek. Anons who are retarded enough to think this was about an innocent woman and I'm an abusive
pos need to visit a school and learn how to read or to at least mind their own business. Even if I ever hated a woman, I wouldn't say something so vile like 'a shred of attention from those looking for holes to fuck and forget' about her, because that's just something desperate moids seek, not women.
Before accusing me of having mental illness instead of that moid, ask yourself why you're so triggered
by a random anon's rant which wasn't referring to you and decided to step onto your soapbox to make a reply that'll get your illiterate ass banned anyways. Creating an entire story inside your head and getting mad at the 'villain' in there screams schizophrenia, but then again, I've seen smarter schizos so maybe you're simply just a shit person.
>>1589451>someone even posted your vent in another thread and was saying "I think this is about me"
Kek wtf. Which thread was that? I need to check it out, I had no idea people took the posts on here so personally and seriously. Why would anyone make such a detailed post about an anon to begin with?
Also, jannies, please don't ban this nonna for replying to me. She's nice, I don't mind her replies.
It was the confessions thread, here's the post >>1588345>Also, jannies, please don't ban this nonna for replying to me. She's nice, I don't mind her replies.
Aww ty, you're nice too and I really liked your vent, it was brutal and I could feel your disdain for the person through the text
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Thank you so much nonna! I feel terrible after seeing that it unfortunately 'motivated' that anon to end it all. I didn't wanted to harm anyone this way, I was just frustrated and decided to let it out here. I'm glad I can at least resolve this weird misunderstanding thanks to you letting me know about that post.
Well, I have thought about this for several years, when and if I could return to university. The problem was the environment of learning, I excel far better online for everything that isn't dance or music related, and well besides the science labs or studies required. And the cost, which I could consider going to uni in Europe to subset but I still need to work and survive, and then the stress of getting old transcripts to transfer most of the courses I passed because one definitely brought down my gpa for having a shit professor. I quit school because I wasn't living how I wanted or getting what I wanted out of it. And I got life experience and real jobs.
And then it fell into my lap while researching, what I always wanted. I found a program from my home state that lets me transfer credits even from over ten years ago (yes I am "old" fuck off lol), lets me write essays to earn credits from my life and work experience, and lets me take the remaining courses entirely online. That means I can finish up the final two years of my degree in less than six months. And even pursue a masters. And it's affordable, flexible, didn't cost me my youth, and I can stop lying on my cv (it works though bc people do not check)
Like I am now going through the process of getting my old uni transcripts, and recently I applied for a job that asked for your work experience and qualifications in 5 pages of curriculum vitae and so I already had a taste of busting my ass to wrote it all out, an essay is nothing. Listen I can get a linguistics/translation and interpretation degree with my multi lingual fluency. I studied this years ago but I was right, you won't learn a language in a classroom. I can also get a psychology and/science degree, and an arts.
I hope it all works out
Education is a lifelong pursuit imo
and that was insane levels of vitriol, it has nothing to do with there being a 'villian' some of you are cluster b levels of angy
Amazing, happy for you nonnie
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Why did you run out of nachos just when I wanted them? WHY DID YOU RUN OUT OF NACHOS JUST WHEN I WANTED THEM?? Next you're going to say you've suddenly run out of orange juice and would just hand me sewage water. I'm not here to play, so don't play with my feelings. I'm here to eat, so give me what I need. I know, my luck is so bad that the restaurants I visit are always running out of something or all the cooks cooking that something decide to move back to their village last week to raise cows and chickens and you haven't found a replacement yet, but please have mercy on my hungry soul this once and give me some nachos, I forgot to eat my breakfast and it's going to take me 4 hours to go back home.
. I think it kind of worked because I actually got my hands onto some nachos kek, just from a different restaurant that I didn't even knew existed until today.
how is it? maybe it was a happy accident your regular place was out, now you have a chance to try somewhere new. doors closing/windows opening, etc. innit?
hope it's tasty sweet nona!
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nice!! score for nona, manifesting works ayyy (I saw your other post haha)
speaking of which, did you ever try mountain dew flavoured doritos? I feel like I hallucinated them
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they were really good from what I recall! super lemony/limey and a lil spicy. quite nice, I miss them.
surprised japan hasn't released a mountain dew kitkat lmao they seem to have every other flavour
But on another note none of these jobs are what I really want to do. It's just that what I want to do is very hard to get and costs money. And I cannot survive trying to get them. I should just go after what I truly want.
I will just say what I want.
I want to he a singer and a dance for Cirque Du Soleil. Or a similar contemporary circus.
Hey I know a woman who works in the circus, not a big one like Cirque, but a local one. She finished the Faculty of Applied Arts. She is a very very fit trapeze artist. Very cool job.
I believe in you! I hope you make it to the big tent
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Guess the replacement punching bag decided to kick you out after considerably less time than it took me, huh? (Has she even turned 21 yet? Christ, if I'm 34 now that means you're 39, what the fuck were you doing U-Hauling with a goddamned college kid?!) Moving back to Florida as a piece of shit who likes to hurt naive teenage girls who think being your unwashed snaggletoothed wannabishie ass's dirty little secret is ~rOmAnTiC~ sure was a life choice! I hope you end up in jail I hope you end up in jail I hope you end up without access to your precious testosterone cypionate and I hope you get shanked in the yard -
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Why do you always wake me up so early at 6am and then complain when I'm sleepy all day? Not like I ever laze around, I still do the shit I'm supposed to, I merely just look tired because I am. Overworking me to the hell and back and not even letting me catch some sleep really makes me want to put expired cheese in your pillow, so whenever you put your head onto it, the cheese will leak out and cover your entire face and damaged hair. Please just stop treating me like shit for once, otherwise I might actually do all that and you can only blame yourself for it.
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make my decade
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You feel lucky, punk?!?
The whole gender thing doesn't make much sense.
Biological sex is male, female, or intersex. Since you are all morons that means one has no sex organs or both sex organs, making them biologically both or neither male or female. They can choose how they want to present to the world.
Then we have gender, which is just another way of denoting biological sex. Gender stereotypes exist based on biology and society. Again this is easy to understand but displeasing to many people who don't feel like they fit into these stereotypes. So we had words like tomboy, girly girl, machoman etc. These still don't fit everyone so what we should have done is enforced that gender stereotypes cannot describe everyone and regardless of biologically sex everyone can feel and act and like what they wish, and that's that.
And what did these fucktards do? They came in saying "gender is made up by society and isn't real" and then made up a hundred more genders, ALL BECAUSE they couldn't make any friends or find like minded people to share their interests with.
>Oh no I am so lonely because nobody understand my interest in both ballet and monster trucks, therefore I am not a girl nor a boy but a NONBINARY
They literally could not comprehend the concept of having a personality and hobbies and decided to make up more asinine shit to complain about and separate people and feel "special"
Not to mention if they like to kiss boys but only date girls but will date a boy once every third full moon in a leap year they have to make up a new name for this super special sexuality.
Like what you want, date who you want, fuck who you want. You are still either a FEMALE, MALE, or INTERSEX. You are either STRAIGHT, GAY, or BISEXUAL. And to be frank I think everyone is bisexual but whatever.
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Help me understand how people are so comfortable posting selfies of themselves online. It just reeks of narcissism to me. People posing and pouting is so cringe. Do you really think you look that good? Don’t get me started on the captions that accompany the photos.
I just don’t get selfie culture. Maybe it is because I’m an autist and never posted myself online. I must of experienced a different kind of Internet.
There is only straight and mentally ill. Sex organs are for reproducing the human species. You literally fail your basic biological purpose by succumbing to mental illnesses like homosexual behavior. Truth hurts I guess? Triggered
Being a homosexual is like completely missing a target at a shooting range and being somehow proud of it. You failed your role as operator and also misused the firearm, creating a negative value scenario. That is why dykes and fags are no more real than trannies. Mental illness and failure is always gonna be mental illness and failure.(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)
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Reading up and realizing you're trying all the DARVO tactics possible because you're a fucking psycho and I am not surprised
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Anything to victimize yourself in a situation where you are continually the aggressor huh
wah women aren't wearing what I would personally wear to an event
the only part of this I agree with is the funeral part
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Currently retracing my steps in time, year before year, to most of the triumphs and terrors I once visited giddily on the world wide internet (along with most o' the changes that followed) until I reach 2010.
And I once visited a website that was "muy DRAMATICA" quite often that…year..
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I realize I sound like a edgelord but I fucking hate normie women so much. Just socializing in general. I only have one female friend who's my best friend and is the only one that gets me. I only socialize because of my boyfriend.
They're all engineers too and hanging around them is sooo exhausting. The women are always so snarky with me. They're always trying to take over everything I want to do or minimize it if I achieve it.
I've been wanting to play DnD for years now and I tried to get them to play (this is before I was over them btw) and everyone said no. I said I would be DM and they said no. Then when my boyfriend and I bought a Kickstarter tabletop, he and one of the women read the rules and found out it was basically DnD and she self proclaimed herself the DM without telling anybody. Needless to say, I left the group chat.
Been distancing myself from them little by little because it's so exhausting to me to deal with. I can't keep up with the conversations and just socializing in general with them.
I miss my best friend. I had to move and she's no longer nearby.
I have so much to get off my chest but I tried to make it TL;DR.
I understand your frustrations nonnie
but don't make sweeping generalisations like you hate all normie women. It sounds like those engineer ladies are a bit up their own arse, I agree.
But this could also be your practice in becoming more assertive. Put your foot down, call the bitch out: actually, I said I wanted to be DM when you said this was stupid, you hypocrite, so sit down and make your character sheet.
Maybe I'm just abrasive, I don't know. I just can't stand people like that, I'd be so all over it if someone said my idea was shit and shot it down and then tried to claim it.
That's not normies. That's just engineers, male or female. Their whole personality revolves around being an engineer, because it's become a synonym for "being smart and having a nice salary". It's a form of clout. They look down on everyone else, including other STEM people.
Doctors go through a lot to get their diploma and basically have no life other than studies and work so I get their bragging, but engineers have what, only a 4 year diploma and are known for being sleazy, entitled frat boys where I live.
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Yeah, I realize I'm generalizing. It's just I haven't had any luck with any of them and it's frustrating.
Like I said, there is soo much more involved but I didn't want to write a whole blog about it. It's mainly one of them who's one of the two female engineers in the group (for insight I didn't finish college and got a job in programming) who's always talking down to me. It's also that way of being where the guys will not notice she's being rude because they're men.
Also, I try to bite my tongue because of my boyfriend, they're his friends and I feel like I'll just be causing trouble. Although, last time some of them came over to play tabletops I exploded and screamed at them because they were playing a game which they refused to help me understand the rules of. They just kept playing their turns super fast and rushing me. They wouldn't answer my questions and I was making the wrong choices because I didn't understand what I was doing. This ended up with me yelling at them to stop and explain, I would basically talk to them like this the rest of the game. They haven't invited us over to play tabletops ever since.
My boyfriend got me concert tickets for my birthday and I'll get to sit next to them. She made a group chat for the concert and tried to basically tell everyone she would dress as the lead and us as the backups. Just weird, annoying things like these.>>1599690
I feel like you're one of the only people who gets me when it comes to this. All they talk about is college and engineering and how much they understand things better than everyone else and how different they see the world. It's so annoying.
This 100% she's always gloating about how much of a videogame nerd she is too. It's like she's got something to prove constantly. She was pregnant not too long ago and she would get in the middle of the people who were working with construction and heavy machinery to try and do things herself. Would say "I can do it, I'm at the gym and to yoga all the time anyways" when told to step out.
Thanks for the reply, I believe in us too!
I went to the booth to take my id photos. I swear to god life is enjoying picking on me. I go to comb through my hair again, and there's some big tangled knot mess. Like sorry but how the fuck did this develop in the 30 mins it took me to get here? I get that out but I'm struggling to get my hair in the nice way I planned to look good. I run out of time on tje first photo and then it says to retake. Thank god so I take again focusing on the model face I've been practicing, to make me look less ugly before I can get some work on my face, and my hair doesn't look good. There's a stupid little swirly baby hair, the bane of my existence. My hair looked great in the first photo but my face was scary. Second face is alright but the hair. I try again, setting my hair and making the face, and click. I did not know this was my last try. Well first cannot be used because I look like an escaped mental patient with great hair. The second and third look better, with the third slightly better hair and second slightly better face. Print.
The thing is it's really not as bad as I expected, but I do not recognize myself. Honestly who the fuck is this in the photo. And I want to redo my face for thicker lips, smaller uncrooked because I broke it nose lol, change my eyes just a little, and tanner skin. But for now this will have to do. Plus the photo will be black and white anyway.
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What do you mean ‘take control of’? Like…in a kinky way?
Anon they sound terrible. Let me guess, your bf sees nothing wrong with how they act and takes their side? Would I be right if I guessed that, if you point that out, he will say he's just trying to be objective? He's talked with them himself and they were perfectly nice girls?
I was in your position once (down to the engineering circlejerk), sadly it will never get better.
Exactly this. And I realize it will never get any better which is why I've opted to distance myself from them.
I've talked to him in the car after something has happened and he's like "wow you're obsessed!". At least after some talking between us two he has tried to understand me a bit better (he's s hyper social guy). And we've come to the understanding that I'll never click with them. He also insists on me talking to them about it, but it's the kind of situation I know for a fact that they will reply with "what? Me? I would never!". And I'm not up for it.
I feel so relieved in this thread. I never really get to pester anyone about this and it's so cool so many people get it. Finally.
Yes. Of course. Managing to control somebody's personality is easier said than done and quite frankly, I do not want to do it. As I am terribly too lazy to. Nor will I control their bank account, as that is illegal. And could land me in jail.
Sure, I could maybe challenge their views on certain topics. But it would be just for fun. Since normally people don't actually listen to what you have to say anyway. They take actions seriously, not words.
Why do you say that?>>1600040
You're right he should've stood up for me but apparently he "didn't notice" when it was happening because he was focused on whatever else was happening at the moment. He also doesn't understand how much effort it takes for me to be social. After talking to him lately about it he has come to an understanding, even of himself to reconsider what friendships actually are. Don't know if I would break up with him over this since he has a lot more redeeming qualities about him too. Sorry if it also sounds like I'm making excuses for him, there's just a lot of context missing.
For context we both asked them to play DnD back then and they said no. It wasn't until the kickstarter came and everyone wanted to play it that she inserted herself as DM. I see it as just attention seeking overall.
My boyfriend did neglect standing up for me, but it's not a scenario where he would be impressed by her being DM. I see it more like autism and him not adjusting to be more aware about these things.
I did have a conversation with him where he apologized and said he recognizes that's something he needs to fix.
The situation is missing more context where it would be understandable for you to get that from it so I'm sorry about that. It has been about 3 years of me hanging out with these people and this has been my tipping point.
Sorry if I'm making it seem like my boyfriend is all up in her ass or something but that's not really the case.>>1600142
He's more so acting like an ignorant himbo male more than anything. Her thing is mainly directed at me. She's also married with a baby and they've known each other since college(I've known him since school).
It's really not the case where they're in cahoots behind my back. I'm sorry if I'm making it seem that way.
It's so sad how abusers truly believe the grandiose view of themselves compared to their victims protects them from the backlash of what they do indefinitely. They think that just because they can control a small group of people means they can control anyone, bend laws, hurt people, continue the cycle for as long as they want and as cruelly as they want. They truly see themselves impervious. It's like they have this alternate reality they fashion around themselves where they are God and everyone is just a puppet or a means to an end, no sincerity, no real meaningful relationships in their life, just use and destroy and rinse and repeat and string along whoever aids their cause for however long they have to. It's also sad seeing people stupid enough to defend them, people who denounce abuse and misogyny yet somehow delude themselves into believing their abusive friends are some sort of special outlier, an exception, completely blind to their obvious sociopaths. How they treat one victim is who they are. There isn't an excuse, a convoluted explanation that checks out "off paper." Abuse is just abuse. Of course an abuser is going to do and say everything within their power to develop a shield between themselves and the reality of the hurt and pain they cause. How they treat one is how they've treated others. You're just as horrible for being complicit.
Well you've put us in a difficult position because if we reply nicely to your post we're annoying you but if we tell you to fuck off back to 4chan you'll never be the female separatist of your dreams
Maybe you should just make irl friends(vain bitch)
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there are a lot of people all the time, there are a lot of people everywhere.
are you a writer nonny? how do you fit in your head?
I made a friend I hope she is okay
I haven't been sleeping will I be okay?
formatting is not easy
They will never learn. To them, anyone who does not like them is jealous or a hater. I truly believe that the abuse runs in both of their families and that they were never children. Both of them also don't really support the candidates they support. I honestly believe that they are only as political as they are because the toxic
environment is familiar to them and they want to make the whole country familiar and ugly to them. If there was justice in the world, they would both be put to death. My mom stabbed me in the arm with a pencil and then I told my dad and he simply went to work; clearly the behavior of two victims
. I am pretty sure that their political rallies are like the ten minutes hate or whatever for them where they justify their own cruelty with a bunch of strangers they don't know and then act like they're heroes from some kind of movie. Fucking cancer to society. I'm ashamed to be related to either of them. Anytime customer service or some neighbor gives a modicum of a positive response to them they take it as license to fuck up the conversation with politics or "pity me" divorce tales. You can tell the most about them by what they don't bring up!
It's time for the comedy reel of classy moments. Because both of my parents think of themselves as sophisticates bringing class to the town!
(1.) My dad yelling at his grandfather "at least I don't groan when I shit" (?????????)
(2.) My mom showing off her boob implants to everyone (Super Mom)
(3.) My dad going on twitter to bully a single mom who lost their son and doxxing her for having bad political opinions. I don't care if she thinks the sky is green, you are not looking like a hero here!
(4.) My mom converses about her menstrual cycles to absolutely everyone as well as her sex life. How else would I learn about some stuff like her new boyfriend licking her asshole. Honestly I feel like she leaves everyone who talks to her feeling that way whether they have or not. Class Class Class
(5.) My dad brought my middle school age sister with an intellectual disability to a BLM rally during the height of Covid and kept doing so until the judge for custody told him not to. It doesn't matter how noble the cause is, when you have kids during Covid leave them out of it and go alone or opt to support via money donations instead. Using kids as social boons instead of going the extra mile on your own.
(6.) My mom saw me holding hands with my sister and jumped in with the pure-hearted, motherly, feminine comments about us being "the lesbian sisters"
(7.) My dad for no reason mooned everyone in the kitchen. (????????????)
(8.) My mom has an instinct for hating women and will shit talk them and say that she's better because she has a PhD. This is exactly how I picture Martha Stewart and JK Rowling or any woman who has achieved the career success she strove for; bitter and full of misogyny and feeling like other women stole from them somehow.
(9.) My dad yelled at his new girlfriend until she cried because he didn't feel helped enough during one of his own children's birthdays… during my zoom final. He also poured a bottle of champagne down the drain to punish her for finishing it and then poured the one she got him to apologize down the drain as well.
(10.) My mom once hollered across the entire house about my dad's viagra
I only listed this to prove it to myself. When you speak to either of them they pretend that they're some kind of respectable person and then once they feel like they've gained your trust, they pull a bunch of trashy antics. I honestly think they are status hungry, insecure, perverted, hypocritical, and honestly are probably both on some sort of spectrum close to pedophilia given their repeated exhibitionism and hillbilly messing with their children for the laffs. I believe that everyone in this town who knows a little bit about them has their reservations, and I think few will end up saying it to their faces because of the stalking and aggression that would inevitably ensue. I thought in the beginning that they were only me and my siblings' problem, but they've become the town nuisance, and I've heard of many separate instances of people speaking negatively about one or both of them.
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TBH I think people in computer science specifically are often pretentious because they are the lowest rung of STEM and treated as such at work or school. This is why they don't seem to project their delusions onto other people in STEM, and instead try to keep up a front with normal people and their children. I also think that with STEM you can often "coast" and lie about your credentials despite having no references or real ability to teach or communicate the subject and make it everyone else's problem at work. I hear many of them take pride in coming unprepared and learning on the job. It makes sense given how many of them are wearing programmer socks. I'm sure there are people with a real passion for it, but so many merely chase it for dollars and status & seem to be unable to work alongside others and frequently have issues. Beyond pathetic.
I meant to say "with computer science you can often 'coast' but
Yes, I think there is a subsection of people who are drawn to STEM because they want the title and a "I will look down on you" card and that computer science is the path of least resistance, being less serious than physics, biology, medicine, etc. It sucks for the people who actually enjoy it as a hobby because I'm sure they're treated with passive aggression in the office and made to do the work that everyone else pretends to know how to do. A lot of people are better at talking about coding and giving commands than actually doing any of the intellectual work themselves
I want friends but I hate 99% of everyone I meet irl, I only find people I enjoy only, fuck>>1604078
I have not fucking clue why that matters so much to you but I'm really happy you managed to make that happen! You go girl, do all the splits you dreamed of!(vain bitch)
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Your whole life is just reducing everyone, including yourself, to cattle. Everything you obsess over and revolve around is just you objectifying everyone, including yourself, to a vapid and ridiculous degree and completely talking in circles all of the time about who you hate (obsess over) and why. You are such an entitled person and it's crazy because you are CONVINCED you are better than everyone else when you don't even know how to experience real joy, everything you care about is only because of the idea of it and not because you actually enjoy it. You don't learn any skills that don't benefit you in a way to exploit others, and any skill you do pursue is just something you want people to see you doing, not something you do for yourself or out of interest. You are a fucking husk. You are not even a person.
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I'm glad I left you and don't have to be around your gross loser moid friends either. I'm proud of myself for gaining some self respect and strength back to realize this was a miserable and bad idea and that I deserve better people in my life. I cannot live in fear and loathing. It feels so good knowing I chose myself and I chose right. I am so SICK and tired of these gross loser men and I don't want to be around any of it. This was simply a moment of weakness for me and now it has passed and there will be better days. I will surround myself with love and support and good people because I deserve respect, love and kindness
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It’s been a great while since I took a break from here— which isn’t unusual in itself, however, this one was sanctioned by the fact that I found my behaviour towards others on here rather unbecoming and childish to the point that I was seeking negative attention from other farmers in the past year I had been struggling with my schooling as it’s a distance education programme which as I found out is not as easy as I thought it would be, and honestly at the time I wanted others to feel as terrible as I did. I’m sorry for doing that, I truly am. I got angry at others for inconsequential things and provoked scrotes even though I know better than to do that with the excuse of bad moderation and more at the time when shaymin was in charge.
I failed one course at the end of this semester —which is better than two courses— because I didn’t finish the last assignment nor checked my school email until the last day as the teacher gave me the opportunity to finish it in a remedial course but I was too busy wallowing in my misery of failing and had developed an irrational fear of anything school related as I felt like I wasn’t really in school and couldn’t understand why I couldn’t grasp onto the courses and just finish an assignment or anything without spending a tremendous amount of effort. Fortunately, or unfortunately for me, I had the forethought of getting myself checked for autism and surprise, surprise I have it— I cried as I was hoping that I was just mistaken and was just a weird and stupid person but no, she could tell straight away.
I have to redo the course next spring and I’m not looking forward to it as I know I could have done much better than I had. But it’s too late now and chances blown, I just need to learn from my idiocy and get over it. I’m not looking forward to the next semester for several reasons which I will try to get over and the fact that I won’t be working full time as I did will hopefully help me focus on my studies better. I hope by then I’ll be taking some Concerta as my working memory is that of a five-year-old, I’ll know more about it after getting my diagnoses papers and the referral to get said medication.
I’m utterly embarrassed and ashamed of my past behaviour and actions on here and I’ll try my best to not let the negativity of my life cloud any further interaction I have on here as I work on myself.
I just hate how hateful everything is. Can't go a day without seeing some hateful rhetoric online. Bit hypocritical on this website but oh well.
I know it's complete bullshit and an unrealistic fantasy, but why can't we just live in an unbothered world lol. Why do you have to hate everyone all the time
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all I have to do is start shit and keep doing them for some time to get them done but I cant even start them I just keep procrastinating and thinking "oh I have to do this first" häöfghklöfkhjlkgjf I fucking hate having ADHD JUST FUCKING DO IT START IT YOU LAZY FUCKING COW AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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You aren't intimidating, you're just sad. Watching you desperately grasp at straws is sad. You have nothing else.
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You've constantly hurt me, so much lately. I've honestly never been hurt this much. I'm left wondering what's wrong, why I'm alone yet again. I get nothing out of you. I really cannot take it.
Whatever, keep gaslighting me. One day I'll call you out. Til then, enjoy what's left of me.
I don't think scrotes get to be sad if their ex kills themselves, because I think they were undeniably a problem that led her to do it, even if she wouldn't openly admit to that. Especially if he moves on, has a kid and a gf in some other country while probably still fucking other women over here. God, I hate males so much. I hate their arrogance, I hate how they think they know everything, I hate how even if they're mildly "attractive" they think they rule the world and can do whatever the fuck they want. I wish I could project my suicidal ideation onto these kinds of men, imagine truly hating yourself for one day enough to commit suicide, something their ego would never let happen to them. I desperately want these men to hate themselves, I want them to pour over every slight issue in themselves until they get a blade, start cutting or get a rope. Men can never comprehend the terribly complicated depression women go through. The only ones that get depressed are the ones that can't fuck and can't be accepted in higher hierarchal order of men. Truly the despicable sex.
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if you wanna dress and act and talk and have the same interests as a little kid, i'm gonna treat you like the little kid you are and point out the objective fact that you're acting like a literal retard by acting this way as an adult and age regressing into sucking your thumb and obsessing over hello kitty and movies made for children. you will mock cows for sitting in diapers and talking like a baby but you're only one step away from being that and i wouldn't be surprised if you did do that disgusting shit in private
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Kek so pissed at literally nothing, must've been one of those retards replying I guess. It's not a 'minimodding' thing to say that in a thread, where the only rule is that you aren't supposed to respond to rants, still responding indirectly is basically doing the same thing but without tagging the anon. You aren't being clever, you're being a dumbass. Is it really hard for some nonnas to spare this single thread when the vent thread is right there and allows replies?
>Inb4 you're breaking the rule too reeeeee
Yeah and I'll just take the ban for it, instead of whining like a newfag.
>>1609169>I don't have to directly respond to anybody.
Never said that you have to directly respond illiterate retard, just that indirect responding is still responding. And it's cringe. Not my fault that a simple word makes you cry and seethe.>Be glad I'm letting you breathe.
Wow. So edgy. Go talk to your 4chan buddies kek.>>1609179
Can't believe there's really a retard who has nothing to say in 'her' defence and would rather just expose 'her' newfag status through her equally retarded replies.
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Damn this shit really led me to breaking the only rule multiple time myself. Bye retards. I won't reply anymore, you can continue crying and feel free to pretend like you won the argument since you're desperate to have the last word so badly with your shitty lil one-liners anyways.
Why the fuck did you have to message me with that shit and then not follow through with it? Why the fuck are you hiding again after I replied to your message? It makes me so angry that I feel like I'm burning up inside because of it, holy shit. I know you're avoidant because that's literally how you deal with all your problems, but I don't like that I'm on the receiving end of this. You apologised for hurting me and told me you miss us talking but when I say it'd be nice for us to talk again, you just repeat the same dead-air bullshit that hurt me in the first place. After the shit you pulled, I could've been much more vitriolic because you couldn't have handled things in a worse way, but I wasn't because I know your mental headspace is fucked and I felt sympathetic.
What's the point in being invisible everywhere if I'm the issue (because who else could it be)? I don't get why you haven't just removed and blocked me. I really hate how much this bothers me; I don't do well with uncertainty because my anxiety absolutely feasts on it.
I just wish you could be honest about shit for once, even if the consequences suck for a while. If what you told me was true regarding how you feel about your life, your marriage, and everything else, you're never going to be happy living this lie, and pushing away people that still care about you in spite of the hurt you inflict isn't going to help. Your therapist told you that you need to let people in. Do it, holy fuck.
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I'm so tired of this shit. What the fuck do you actually want from me?? Congrats, you've managed to turn all the love and understanding I had for you into resentment and anger. I'm so sick of trying to be understanding while you give me basically nothing in return. I hate that my brain keeps telling me "but what if what he's saying is true and he's just struggling to express his feelings and needs someone to be patient and caring" HOLY FUCK it goes against everything I believe about moids and I fucking hate that I'm trying to fool myself into being a moid's therapist for fucking free. I know this is making me unhappy, I don't even really look forward to it anymore because I'm constantly on the edge about you just coming in and out of my life. I have so much anger inside of me that I just want to be passive-agressive towards you and yell in your face. On one hand the thought of me hurting you hurts me but on the other hand I want you to feel even shittier than I do for treating me like this. Open your fucking mouth for once and tell me what's up WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING AVOIDANT HOLY SHIT. You'll never find anyone as patient as me because every other woman would've ghosted or left you right in the beginning. I am such a fucking fool I could kick myself. And of course all of this shit happens to me the ONE TIME I let a moid close to me
I hate trannies, leftist males, prostitutes, liberal feminists, homosexual faggot men, males, porn addicts, males, groomers, gay groomers, LEFTIST MALES, libertarian pedophiles, and I HATE TRANNIES SO.FUCKING.MUCH. GET YOUR PORN INDUCED FETISH MENTAL ILLNESS ADDICTION OUT OF MY FUCKING BATHROOM, OUT OF MY SPORT AND OUT OF WOMENS LIVES, YOU DEGENERATE FUCKING FUCKS, I WILL BULLY AS MANY RETARDED MALES WHO THINK THEY'RE WOMEN INTO KILLING THEMSELVES AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE
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My worst fear when I was younger and insecure was that I wouldn't be pretty enough to find love
Now that I've recognized I'm physically attractive and am frequently complimented on it yet still single and have either dated men who were A) actually insane B) genuinely very low IQ C) Just Very Mean my worst fear has become that I am so utterly bland or repugnant on the inside that the men I actually find intelligent, admirable and attractive will only ever want to use me for sex or that I will fall in love with one and upon discovering the depths of my personality and all the less angelic things that may not match up to the outer shell he will shoo me away like a gross insect.
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I'm not sure if you realized it, but we mirrored each other in such bizarre ways. We really were the bizarro opposite version of the other. Right down to out names being similar. Like some strange kinds of doppelganger. I was frost and you were flame. It makes sense we both hated and yet were strangely attracted to the other. You always believed in magic, and I thought you a fool for it. But now I'm starting to believe, maybe we were always meant to have run into each other and change each other. I know that by having been with you, you made me a better person. I hope I did the same for you. I hated you. But I loved you so much too. I knew we weren't going to last, but I don't think you did. Or at least you didn't want to believe it would end. But we had to go our separate ways, we would not have grown and become better versions of ourselves if we had not. I hope you're aware of that too, I think it might hurt less. It made things hurt less for me at least. If by some miracle you are reading this, know, even in my deepest anger and hatred for you, I never stopped loving you. I'm sorry I was so cold.
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i soooo badly wanted to make a passive aggressive comment but I DIDN'T even though I wouldve been justified in doing it because she was being annoying but I didn't make a passive aggressive comment because I'm just so nice and a good person
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I will never eat half-melted chocolate for breakfast again. I'm feeling nauseous I've been robbed of all life force.
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God I fucking hate feet
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I don't think you understand. It's nothing you did or didn't do, really. It's more that I'm starting to see you more fully as you are, understanding you better, and what you really need. I'm realizing I can't be what you want and what you deserve. I'm realizing more and more how we're not as compatible as we once thought we were. I think we were both in love with the image we had planted over the other. I hope you learned to grow from me, like how I learned to grow from you. At this point I feel like I'm holding you back from growing in the way you need to grow, and from seeking out people who would be better suited to you. I know all of this is so cliche, words you've heard others say to others a million times before, but I don't know how else to say it. What words to use to explain myself that won't sound like more excuses. Maybe I am just being selfish, cruel, unkind, cold. It's fine if you hate me, burn alive my image in your mind. But I promise I loved you, and I'm sorry, and I thank you, for everything, but this is goodbye.
You are a grown adult. YOU are very aware that the people you support are evil and disgusting. People like you and them are the reason stuff like this happens. Being gay or trans does not give you a free pass to be a predator, to hurt harass and exploit women, to sexually obsess over and degrade anyone you want. It's glaringly obvious you're doing whatever is necessary to make it seem you're none the wiser, but luckily there's plenty of evidence to prove the exact opposite when the time comes. You uplift, infantilize, and support actual predators. You don't give a fuck about consent, or misogyny, ableism, any of it unless it comes to excusing the horrible things you take part in and are evidently very proud of. For someone who thinks you're so smart, you sure do gleefully eat up some horrific lies and refuse to see the obvious contradictions and carefully crafted farces. You want me to be angry and hate you but the truth is my dislike for you has ever only been what you do to me and what you love to be a part of. Outside of creeping me out, you mean and have always meant nothing to me. No amount of revisionism will change that. I don't understand why you want me to be your enemy when I don't even know you, have never had interest in knowing you, yet you have revolved so much of your life around me. You are so sociopathic you don't care at all that what you've done is considered by nature a sex crime. It's fine though. Deep down you know you're supporting a lie because it's your only means of camaraderie, taking your anger out on me means nothing when your intent is evil and misguided. You don't care who you hurt as long as you get attention.
I hate having anxiety, and I hate having a lot of empathy for people who've hurt me. I had a bad dream about someone who's currently ghosting me (reached out to say he was sorry for hurting me, and missed me, but then has been invisible on every platform after I replied). I'd been doing better as it's been like 2 weeks since this has been going on, but the nightmare kinda suggested that I'm still bothered by his behaviour and it involved him dying, so it made me upset because it felt so real.
This guy has so many red flags that I loathe the fact that he's still living relatively rent-free in my head. He is married and we had an emotional affair, (one that he felt guilty about, leading to him wanting to end things). I understood that, and tbh I knew that despite the things he's said regarding regretting getting married too young, feeling trapped in a relationship he's been in since he was 16, and everything else, he wasn't going to do the right thing and either get marriage counselling or divorce his wife. I felt guilty for liking him back, but it was nice to be spoiled by and spend time with someone who I just clicked with. It wasn't worth the friendship being incontrovertibly changed like this; yes he was the one who pursued me - but I have agency. I shouldn't have gone along with it.
The ghosting is weird because if I'm being pragmatic, it makes more sense to just remove and block me if he doesn't intend to speak to me again. We both voiced a wish to remain friends, and I haven't said anything to him since he messaged me, so I don't really get why he's hiding from everyone if I'm the issue. I just don't have the guts to remove and block him myself because part of me wants to see if he'll eventually explain why he's doing this. Deep down, I doubt he will because if he's emotionally immature enough to cheat on his wife rather than try to address their alleged problems or leave, why would he spare time for me in this way, lmao. I'm also a reminder of his betrayal, so if he is truly trying to remain faithful and move on, talking to me is an awful idea. Even so, it's like my dying desire to understand is outweighing the logical side of my brain, and it's annoying. It also sucks that I still care about his well-being in spite of his behaviour because he has a lot of shit going on. I've always been like this; it's so hard for me to truly dislike or hate people. Sometimes I wish I was better at hardening my heart.
you hardened your heart to his wife just fine nona lmfao
it can't be that you're too nice (see above), so could it be that you just crave male attention and validation? maybe that's the real breakthrough here but i don't know you well enough to tell(read the rules of the thread. don't respond to people.)
I agree with the anons that replied to me, but I thought this thread disallowed responding directly to vents. Even though I appreciate the outside perspective on this mess, please don't get in trouble.
I did feel guilty about his wife, and I even said to him that nothing between us could happen because it wasn't fair to her. Then he gave me the spiel about how their relationship has been a mess for years, and I became a dumb/selfish bitch where my principles disappeared into the aether because I felt sorry about his situation and enjoyed spending time with him. I appreciated how he supported me as a friend prior to the situationship. I'd been physically ill long-term, to the point where my uni studies/grad date have been impacted, and I was depressed. So, I guess I was in a mental place where you latch onto any speck of kindness that comes your way like a parasite, and caught feelings. I wasn't actively seeking out anything with him beforehand; it just happened and I felt like shit that I liked someone who was taken. I likely know why he cheated based on what I was told (could've just been lies, but I think he was being at least partially honest - he just won't do anything to change his situation) and have seen him say similar things in the past in our shared group chats where it's more male-dominated. I was an idiot and thought lending a non-judgemental ear/encouraging therapy might have helped him, instead, I became a POS and got involved with him. I'm ashamed, but if this is karma coming my way then it's well deserved. I have always tried to be kind but what I've done contradicts that so badly that I'm appalled.
At the end of the day, this is beyond my control and it's for the best that we don't speak again. I do hope that if he truly cannot work through his hang-ups regarding his marriage, he'll man up and be honest about this with his wife - but I just don't think he's capable of it.
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surely you aren't this gullible and starved for male approval, idk how you haven't realized you're being used solely as a character witness for something you know nothing about. youve been presented with a very carefully curated fake cloud full of things purposely put there to make you upset and keep you placated and you've questioned nothing. at this point it really is a matter of morals because how could you be in the middle of such disgusting exploitation and generally and the only thing you have to say for it is teehee noooo hehe people who do this definitely wouldn't lie to meee teehe. its deliberate and its sad. you just want an excuse to do the exact same perverted shit. all too perfect, all too convenient. dont pretend you give a fuck about abuse victims you have no right you literally are everything you pretend to hate online. you are the parasocial leech crying wolf.
Honestly I don't want to go on the internet anymore. I love it for educational purposes, and access to music and the occasional movie, although I hardly watch movies anymore because I don't need escapism anymore and the industry is dead and dying at the same time, at least movies in other languages still entertain me and help me learn, but my point is, I feel enlightened, online communities are all just wasting their lives away miserable and online. I don't even like looking at a screen. I remember I only got a phone because I needed it for work, and I used to just play brain games on there and study whenever I was out, and watch videos when I had time to relax. And I want to return to that. I think the only reason I even still find myself online is because I dropped so many "friends" from my life to move on to the next, or sometimes the connections just dissipated. I felt connected with the real world at times but mostly disconnected and I liked that. I don't enjoy society, I never have, I want to leave. I want to go on retreats without technology, I want to live off the grid, I am close to this, I really am. I will get there, back to what is familiar and more so. I am thankful it existed as a kid when I needed an outlet, and in my 20s when I was going through a lot and let it all out in these types of diary rantings. But I see no value in it anymore. I don't want to exist to society, I want to be unknown.
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I'm finally going to escape this toxic hellhole I've been trapped in for 24 years. I can't wait to sleep peacefully and not in fear that some grown man baby will explode because something went 'wrong' in his uneventful, NEET life. I can't wait to go low contact with my POS dad and live in harmony with my cat. I just need confirmation when it's okay to move in and everything will be okay.
I feel this with some certainty because I have an idea of how strong a person has to be to raise kids successfully from healthy smaller families I've seen. Me and my siblings are all very weak and emotionally damaged people. We have this idea that surviving pain means that you are simply able to do it constantly and means you become better at it, but sometimes all it does is wear you down or be the final thing in addition to others that simply stops you from having the will to try. It doesn't matter either if some of them technically have children because I do think that there is physical damage that has been done through emotional neglect (it actually affects how much your children develop physically and mentally) that will cause a bad fate, and that there is a learned helplessness in regards to emotional resilience because of my parents' inability to control themselves in their behaviors. Instead of improving themselves, they've become friends with people who seem to share their vices of choice.
Just the constant gaslighting where my parents try to put rainbow confetti and fancy accoutrements over their clear mismanagement of their emotions and adult priorities to show how the physical and mental abuse as well as animal abuse present in the house somehow secretly, invisibly made everyone better than the normies is insulting because (1.) This cannot be proved because they believe normies are retards on the far left and right and not relatively apolitical beings who are concerned with less grandiose things than my parents political obsessions (2.) To me, based on the health and outcome of my siblings in comparison to my parents' goals for everyone it is clearly not true. (3.) It's only them running away by saying that the ends of their abuse justifies the abuse itself. Like they see it as a necessary part of human experience that they couldn't help themselves from partaking in because of how they personally were victimized in their lives. So simultaneously they think everyone goes through it but theirs was worse because of special circumstances. A lot of people have lives that were much more normal than what my parents managed to organize. (4.) I think it's obvious that they merely transitioned from physical and emotional abuse of isolated children to legal and political bullying of each other and others once they ran out of options. Now they're under so much surveillance that I genuinely think the kids may end up in foster care at some point if things go south and they can't keep up the mask.
You think you're being cute and tongue in cheek but it isnt for me, it's for them. You really do have to keep up this vicious, disturbing onslaught of abuse because now if you stop, they'll know. You lied, and you lie, and you won't stop lying until you get what you deserve. And even then, I bet you'll lie until the day you die. It's all you can do when you've already done the horrible things you have. You're pathetic and disgusting and oh so sad. Your thoughts are violent, everything you complain about is violent, you constantly throw tantrums and get off on hurting women, but we are all supposed to be distracted and overlook because you pretend you have some sort of convoluted positive motive as an excuse to keep doing the sick shit you're doing. You drag everyone down into the fantasy with you and hope they're too mentally ill to notice. What's even sadder is that you aren't even getting bored with your own narcissism, you're just dumping hours and hours into creating more painstakingly elaborate lies, fake screenshots, fake clouds, fake feeds, mixing and cutting and chopping and allocating like an actual predator. You're wasting your whole life on being a predator. Its disturbing like nothing else ill ever see, for some reason you're very proud of it too. What a loser.
There's good in the bad and bad in the good, if you understood that absolute perfection doesn't exist maybe you wouldn't have such a hard time with this concept, humans are nuanced, flawed, everchanging, that's the way it is, your perfect world doesn't exist, you aren't perfect, nobody is. I find insane that such a flawed individual as yourself can't see the irony of judging others for their dark core when you're incredibly disturbed yourself, I would go as far to say you're even worse than the average person, yet you think being "open and real" over being a bitch somewhat changes the fact that you ain't any better at all? You're an hypocrite, embracing being a shitstain isn't going to change the consequences of your actions, you're ultimately as awful as the so-called fakes you so hate
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A friendly cat that lives in my yard - starts aggressively kneading and purring each time I get near - brought me a present yesterday for the first time during a heat wave and it was a STILL living bird that was paralyzed. But after being given some water and resting in a cushioned box overnight, it was able to be released and flew away just fine. I don't know why cats are like this.
I hate bitches that smoke and ain't smoking weed.
Neither is a personality.
Im horrified by the treatment of your dying dog. You let her wander around the house for a few days while her intestines had died and organs shutting down. Pieces of your dogs insides, whole chunks of bloody tissues, were just seeping out of her. Her backside was matted with liquid feces, blood, and pieces of her own intestine. She ate the chunks of her own tissues as they passed onto the floor, and all the blood/feces/tissue remains were just left to dry and step over. Your logic was that if it wasnt going to stop, why bother dealing with it. Your house is rancid and filthy, and you are lucky your kid cares enough about the dog that he cuddled her and scratched her and told her it was going to be okay before bringing her to the vet to end her suffering. And you refused to even say goodbye. If your children had not stepped in, the appointment probably would never have been made, and the dog would be passing more and more of her own broken down organs over the next week til she succumbed to a very painful and slow, drawn out death. I am glad that she was only in some form of discomfort or mild pain rather than full on suffering. Her belly had distended and turned purple from the internal bleeding. She didnt even have fresh water. I try to see the good in you, it has to be there. I am nice to you because of my partner, otherwise I would avoid you. I am not a mean person, but I am one that recognizes when someone just isnt worth my time. I hate everything that happened today. I am still trying to rid my nostrils of the foul rotting biomatter/fecal scent. How could anyone treat their pet this way.
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The misogyny on ovarit is baffling sometimes. I get what’s she saying but her wording sounds moidish.
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I say one thing to a moid and it completely inflates his ego lmao whatever he's gonna die alone
nona i hear you loud and clear.
honestly its shit but atleast you're over with it now, give yourself that much.
And, if its dark, isnt the bright horizon easier to see?(vain bitch)
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I love you always. I really do
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I love smoking weed! I'll say it again, I LOVE SMOKING WEED! There's nothing better than lighting up and chilling in front of the computer. Reading all the beautiful posts, listening to whatever I like, not bothered by a damn thing. The pearl clutching over weed just sends me, it's not heroin kek. Worry about yourself and stop using weed to explain why cows are the way they are. They are actively choosing to be pieces of shit. Weed is an excuse and a poor on at that. I think a lot of farmers need to just vibe, it's the internet nonnies don't take stuff so serious. No worries, I'll definitely pass you the blunt girls.
I deserved every bad thing that ever happened to me, even if it was excessive, the suffering and experiences taught me how to be a human being again. Things were never perfect, but I had a better life than most people could ever hope for. All that's left is to pick up the pieces and make the most of whats left. I love life. I love being alive, to feel, to understand, and to overcome after falling again. I will keep going until I die, you can call me weird, or gay; you can envy me, you can hurt me, love me, or even hate me. I dont need your approval, I don't need anything outside of myself. But im not yours to manipulate, and i never will be again.
I wish I could chill like you nonnie
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Fucking moid who kept staring at women non-stop like a creep in the bus, I hate you. You are ugly, stupid and pathetic. Why is it so hard for men to not act like troglodytes? Fuck them and fuck who says "staring isn't assault!" when I complain about this. It's still uncomfortable and annoying, LOOK AWAAAAAAY.
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My 30 year old gay furry older brother, YOU HAVE SHIT TASTE IN ANIME!
Slime sucks! Komi sucks! Sheild Hero sucks! Uncle from Another World sucks! Please don't reccomend me this garbage! I don't wanna watch these scroteshit male gaze self-insert anime with disgusting anime girl fanservice with you! Plus, you're gay so it doesn't makes sense! Me, woke? Feminist? Woman brain? Sensitive? Dude, I'm just so fed up seeing this shit everywhere! In fact, it may as well be considered grooming. At least I'm aware and not desensitized to it! You'll never understand because you're MALE and you don't know what it's like as a woman who's uncomfortable and annoyed by this shit! Now can we watch some actual GOOD anime like Golden Kamuy or Mob Psycho 100 instead? It's got action and very little to no anime girl fanservice! They're really great!! PSSH IT'S NOT BORING. YOU JUST HAVE THE TASTE OF A RETARDED 14 YEAR OLD BOY THAT NEEDED BRAIN STIMULATION FOR ACTION BUT CAN'T STAND DIALOGUE! PLUS YOU'RE PORNSICK TOO!! So that doesn't bother you at all! You're just disliking what I'm liking unless it's something you recommended! Yeah kick me out of your room for not watching this crap with you while I'm on my phone or keeping you company. Saying I'm not paying attention, replaying certain parts and forcing me watch this cringe show. Who's the sensitive one now, huh? When I watch my anime in my room with you around, you'd be on your tablet yawning and saying "BOoring" like some snobby piece of shit you are. Hey, at least I don't get butthurt and start kicking you out for not being interested. STUPID MALE BRAIN FAGGOT.
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Yeah, he's an unfortunate looking character…and? He turns me on, yeah, what about it? What the fuck are you going to do about it? Call me a pickme? tell me I've been le brainwashed? Write a ""feminist"" manifesto about how wrong I am? I don't give a single shit if you're right or not, I don't care if this is problematic, traumatic, dogmatic, automatic, climatic and all the -atics, I'll still fantasize of fucking him because I'm horny and you cannot stop me, you will not censure my horniness, I'm sick of trying to cater to you and what you like, this is my life, you dictatorial bitch. So mind yo damn business, hit a blunt and let me be
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you were more than happy to play shield, pet, and false character witness for genuinely abhorrent, deeply disturbed abusive men and now all you do is cower and continue to play into their nasty larp. Are you genuinely nothing more than a lapdog? you're just as disgusting and fucked up. You think its teehee so cute, being mommy and standing up for grown men feeding you extremely elaborate lies and fake content made explicitly to evoke emotion and investment from you and yet you still bark for them like a dog. Women like you are an embarrassment uwu xwx owo
You're so hopeless, i did my best to help you, to make things better for everyone yet you only fuck things up further for no reason. Why are you so vitriolic? so full of hate? this is not normal, you want to pretend it is but you know deep down you're wrong, you're attacking innocent people who were just minding their business over fucking politics, you're repulsive, thin-skinned and feeble minded, don't complain about everyone leaving you behind when you refuse to act civil and stop being such an horrid bitch, you cannot even feign friendliness for 5 minutes without acting unnecessarily hostile then laugh at my face like your behavior is supposed to be "funny and relatable", you're mentally ill and i refuse to interact with your putrid soul ever again.
I'm sick of helping you out and pretending you ain't a vile snake to me and everyone, fuck you and fuck everything you stand for, i'm sick of your ass, "a-anon my life is a mess pls don't leave" well boo fucking hoo idiot, you asked for it