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Vent it out.
Previous thread: >>>/ot/1467923
I just truly believed him. We used to read about how prostitutes have 4 times ptsd than veterans, how most of porn is trafficked, etc. Told me he doesnt watch it.
I feel so stupid now. Why would he lie to me all this time? Why not be honest?
I dont understand
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i'm dumb, i decided to study something that's known to be very difficult and now am upset at the fact it is in fact difficult.
you're supposed to study for 8 hours on top of classes every day but i'm already burnt out just doing my assignments/preparing for class, i don't know how i'm supposed to add even more studying on top. and now i'm behind on everything. and i can't even catch up during the holidays because we essentially don't have any - like, in theory we do, but we have to fit several internships and seminar papers in there.
I currently have to apply for two more internships but i keep procrastinating on that because i have all this other shit to do.
next semester i have more exams waiting for me and the semester after that preparation for the bar exam starts, which is even more stressful than the "regular" amount of studying i have to do right now and i feel dead inside every time i'm reminded of that.
i'm actually procrastinating by writing this, please someone tell me to go back to my assignment so i don't waste even more time
It’s really hard to go against the trend/mob. Were you the last one to introvert yourself?>grad school
Please say you’re in America.
The first day of my alternative school (that wasn't even in a school btw, it was in some weird ass gargage/small warehouse hybrid), one of the boys stole a teachers purse, a boy fought this 60 year old "Leader" dude.
The lady I'm talking about also got her ass beat by the owner of the school's daughter who was her best friend, in front of the students. She then went to cry in the bathroom. I also remember the owners daughter telling me and another girl (She was high school aged as well) that, "Blank and her boyfriend are both dirty people, thats why her breath stank because her and her boyfriend are dirty".
The school was a mess. Grown ass men sleeping with the students, everyone knowing it but we were all groomed to not take it seriously. Students fighting the staff, spoending the night with staff, smoking/drinking and remind you were 12/13 at that time.
yes, i go to the >best public university in the country
and yeah, i was one of the last so i felt exceptional pressure to conform to the mob. honestly it felt like a ritual the way one by one everyone would say their pronouns, completely insane. but i felt so much relief after not saying them
Well, I am right at the end of my period and I was incredibly bloated yesterday. So that is probably affecting my feelings towards myself atm (kind of warped my image of myself and what I see in the mirror incredibly so I don't know what is real or not anymore), though I get like this mayhaps every 6 months where I start to revel in self hatred and hating my body to a point where I'm crying.
Though on the bright side, I'm probably finally going to get some help with my joint pains this spring so I can start hitting the gym, so that will probably help me in the long run.
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>dad's an alcoholic + heavy smoker
>got diagnosed with cancer in 2018 (related to xanax)
>recently (like a week ago? a few weeks?) been talking about suicide, murder, etc. while drunk
>he's said crazier, stupider, uglier shit in the past so
>just ignore it
>but know he got a gun recently (found it while digging through storage)
>get a call from my mom today where she's talking all sadly about snooping through his phone (lol) and discovering a text where he admitted to being "scared" (she is vague)
>links it back to his diagnosis though – "nona he's probably sad because of his illness :("
>start putting shit together in my head
>holy shit. he's suicidal, he's gonna kill himself.
>have a two hour long talk
>speak on his addictions, dance around the point because i try to leave him to his own shit (he's a grown fucking man).
>gave up on talking about his addictions years ago because he never goddamn learns but now i'm scared
>anyway, lose my temper and blurt it out:
>"i'm worried that you're suicidal because of your cancer diagnosis worsening!"
>get laughed at + talked down + learn the message was just another attempt at seeming deep basically
>now they're both treating me like i'm crazy and irrational
am i crazy and irrational? what the fuck i hate them both
i mean i love them of course but they're so fucking frustrating as people
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I know I sound pathetic because moids suck but I just want to be kissed and held ahhhhhh
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I've been alone for so long now with imageboards being my only form of socialization that making friends (even online) is really hard. Being anonymous rotted my brain and I forget that you can't just say whatever you want. I can't just close the thread if I fuck up. And I have to accept that you can be friends and still have different views, whereas I'm used to circlejerking with anons (where we probably sucked each others pussy in one thread and called each other retarded whores in another). I keep getting kicked out and banned from forums, Discord servers, online games and communities.
I don't know if it's autism but I feel so fake pretending and feel like other normal people are super fake the way they socialize. Like how women will literally marry a pro-life moid, or be besties with someone who thinks trannies should be allowed in our bathrooms. I tried befriending someone online, we had opposite views on Covid 19. She said we just shouldn't talk about it because we disagreed. But how can I be true and honest friends with someone who thinks I should be forcibly injected and banned from leaving my home? And how can she be true and honest friends with someone (me) who thinks forced vaccination is evil, when she believes it saved us all from disease and death? Isn't that very fake of us?
Samefag, to add on to this: I can understand why
my friends are okay with troons. It doesn't mean that I agree with them or support troons, it just means that I like my friends and I can empathize with them and understand their point of view. It's not a dealbreaker for me unless they're way too obnoxiously vocal about it. I love my friends and I can overlook their naivete, because I know they are not bad people and are simply supporting troons precisely because they are kind people. I still hate trannies and my mind won't change but I love my friends.
You're right. Maybe friendship is more about enjoying each others company and having a laugh. I'm just thinking about like, if shit were to go down. If you have a pro-life friend and you suddenly want an abortion. Or a tranny takes your place in a womens team and your trans ally friend think that's perfectly fine.>>1477080
People like me one on one. In group settings, people either really like me or really hate me. And lots of online communities have very strict rules. There's a reason why you're posting here and not on Facebook.
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I feel trapped and scared. I'm an agoraphobic hikki with untreated bipolar, my parents forced me to get a degree on teaching and now i want to die, i don't know what to do. I can barely handle short conversations with people, i don't even have friends, i don't even talk to my family, how could i handle a whole ass classroom full of kids/teenagers? 24/7?????? I'm not cut to do this, i'm the worst person to do this job but i'm too far into it already. I just wanted to learn English for fucks sake
>>1477086>I'm just thinking about like, if shit were to go down. If you have a pro-life friend and you suddenly want an abortion. Or a tranny takes your place in a womens team and your trans ally friend think that's perfectly fine.
to have these concerns, but I think you are thinking way too far ahead of yourself. There are some friends you don't confide in, there are friends you know you can confide in. I have some friends that I haven't told about being gender critical, there are some friends that I have. It depends on how much you trust them. It's okay to not trust a friend 100% or to tell a friend everything that happens in your life or every one of your opinions. Those friends are maybe there for chatting about hobbies or for doing things with and maybe not for telling them your deepest darkest secrets or sad personal things. That is okay, it's just the nature of relationships. Some relationships are more intimate and secure and some relationships are a bit more "superficial". Not to say that a friend who judges you for getting an abortion is a good friend to have, those are examples in which it is valid
to distance yourself from them or cut them off.
I guess I just want to tell you to get into friendships with a positive mindset. Making friends is hard, you don't need those niggling doubts to weigh you down.
Makes me wonder how many normies have no true friends.>>1477094
Thank you queen, you're cool. Also agree with >>1477098
I'll try not to be so intense. Some friendships just come and go and it's not that serious, I guess. Like traveling different places and just enjoying the journey.>>1477088
Agree. Even the bitch who keeps calling Shaynas dog retarded.
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I can't even read in a waiting room without a moid checking me out or sitting near me. I had to literally get up and move to a chair further away. I'm there to manage a health condition not to be a waiting room slut. Fuck moids.
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My face looks a little wider to me, I’m starting to see slight…idk, jowls? I used to think Pam from The Office looked a little “jowly” and now I’m starting to see that on my formerly thin face (picrel, autistic arrows included). A little bit of crow’s feet when I smile, too. I’ve always had a smaller, B-cup chest but was okay with it because “hey, at least they’re perky!” but I’m starting to notice they’re a little saggier and lower too. I also just have a general feeling of being invisible when I go out in public. I don’t have as many men coming up to talk to me anymore (which is kind of a relief), but I also don’t get random compliments on my outfits or conversations from other women in public anymore. Sometimes when I see zoomers having fun I think “oh look, there’s some girls my age!” and then immediately remember that I’m probably 10 years older than them and they’d think I’m old and weird. Like “aw man, I used to be them! That used to be me and my friends!” So I guess it’s partially physical, and partially mental but it feels kind of lonely. It sounds dumb, but I miss being “one of the hot girls in the room”. I don’t know how to explain it
i felt like this at first too and sometimes still do, but mostly these days i feel relieved to no longer have all that pressure. so much mental capacity has been freed up for better things. i dont intend to let myself go, i still eat well, stay active, dress cute and do skincare. i never really liked attention much anyway but i felt that biological drive to find a scrote so there was this pressure to look good and stuff. it took some getting used to that guys will no longer have crushes on me, im no longer one of the prettier girls in a given space, younger people i work with think im old and treat me like a retarded boomer even tho im only 30…after a period of grieving i now enjoy it. older women are so amazing anyway. i like being a protective older experienced woman that can advocate for the younger girls at work when scrotes try to take advantage of them or push them around.
it helps that i did snag a decent scrote, he's slightly older than me so he doesnt even notice yet the aging that i notice in myself.
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I went out with a friend today and we passed a lot of teenagers who were on a school trip. We both had this realisation that we don't miss being teenagers at all. People always talk about missing their teen years but I can't feel the same way. I'm 21 now so it wasn't so long ago but when I think about being a teen, it's like my heart sinks and I'm back in this terrible lost feeling. That's all I remember, this strong feeling of being lost and not knowing how to get anywhere or do anything. Constantly looking to others, constantly reflecting on past actions and being embarrassed, constantly hating myself. I hated myself so much, and I know many teens feel that way. It was so overwhelming for me. Every action of mine was preceded by my hatred for myself, the discomfort I felt in my body. Every good memory I have is overshadowed by how sad I was deep down. It's all such a blur. I was so sheltered, my parents were overprotective and I missed out on many fun times because I was too sensible and afraid of making any mistakes. I've realised I might be on the spectrum and am going to get assessed for it, and looking back I feel very sad for my younger self. It took so long for me to be okay with myself, to feel any clarity about myself and to feel comfortable in my skin. I self-harmed, I tried to kill myself. I don't remember being happy much at all in all those years. I don't completely understand myself, who does, but I'm the happiest I've ever been now and I truly feel like I've figured a good amount of myself out. I like myself now, I know who I am, I like who I am. I'm a lot busier in life now with a lot more responsibilities and it's stressful but it will never be as difficult as feeling so overwhelmingly alone and confused in all my teen years. I actually feel alive now. In some way I wish I could reminisce and feel fondly about my teen years but at least I have now.
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I made the mistake of checking out a community of a show. This isn't really something I do a lot. And, wow, the same discourse is happening post-end as it was years ago about how terrible of a person a female character is over the pettiest shit or making out small actions to be secretly deceptive and shit like it. It's crazy. At least some people were questioning their text walls of conspiracy theories.
That's what I expect people miss about it, yeah. I get that part of it.>>1477200
I'm glad you've grown into yourself too anon, I hope things continue looking up for you!
What did you do nonnie
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Sometimes I get sad that I've got no more friends left, but then I remember that I used to suround myself with fucked up losers ( like I used to be ) and I'm actually better off without them. On the other hand I'm having a hard time connecting with the healthy well adjusted people around me, they're just not as fun and we have very little similar core experiences. I guess I'm destined to die friendless. If I have to become a lonely old lady I promise I'll spend all my days spying on the local scrotes through my windows.
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Just wanted to vent about the same thing. I'm so freaking tired and the assignments just keep on piling on. I feel like my brain isn't working as it's supposed to. I can't read without feeling stressed and can't concentrate on any text lately. I used to be amazing at learning languages but now that I need to study one language for my internship, my brain just gave up and I can't even remember the vocabulary. Maybe it's the age, maybe it's the overwhelming tiredness that makes me wanna vomit. I have so many final exams coming up. I get home from whatever shit I have that day and fall into a tired lazy void. Weird thing is that happy videos and even commercials make me tear up lately because I wish so hard I could just take a long break and do dumb happy childish things.
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>have mental breakdown during the holiday
>run away from live-in bf to stay with family
>taking leave from job to check in to a mental hospital
>no appetite from the stress of everything going on, probably lost another 10 pounds in the span of 1.5 months
>kind of like the feeling of withering away
>now i have a fucking ED i guess but not because i want control or to look different, i just want to exist as little as possible
how did i manage to fuck up my life this much in such a small span of time. i say fuck up but like things are changing and once i get out of the facility i will be better + i can go back to my job. and my bf is waiting for me because he knows i’m fucked up and need help. at least i’m getting treatment but i feel like such a fucking dumbass. it makes sense that i finally snapped though, i could feel it coming for years. i am a fucking red flag i hate it here
Someday I will fucking stab my brother. I have Nutella once after a few months not having any sweets and then he tells everyone in the family that I'm binge eating Nutella all day long or something like that, so then everyone starts sermoning me about eating better.
Like bitch, I've been feeling sick all of these days, I've been telling the maid to make soup for me for dinner every night because I feel like my head will explode, I can't even get up of the bed because I have a terrible headache, my stomach is all sorts of fucked for no reason and I feel like I'm feverish.
Do you really fucking think I want to eat anything?
Then he's like "you were doing amazing with the dieticians plan and now you're fatter" okay so? I've been following the diet properly, you're the one that keeps whining because you can't handle eating eggs more than once a week, you can't eat anything without at least some carbs around, you just workout more because you can drive and actually leave the house and do whatever the fuck you want because no one can tell you what to do or you will start whining.
I just want to kill myself, that will make everyone happy, my family won't need to feed my fatass, they won't need to pay for my education anymore, or health stuff or anything else, they will be fine without me.
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I hate that this pathetic moid still lives rent free in my mind because he ghosted me and it bruises my ego so much but at least I came across some good ass music recently while trying to get over it.
Lel this is the complete opposite for me I've gotten more attention slightly older than late teens because I looked like a retard when I was younger, didn't know how to dress, didn't groom myself half decent, wasted money on shit skin care etc.
Anons fixated about age when they're only a couple of years older than the zoomers they seem to be meekly intimidated by for being uncontrollably born chronologically after them and coveting at the age of 30 is black pilling me though about the future, bleak. The post asking anon if they're white is kek though. 'Invisibility with age' occurs with all people moids inclusive. Society covets youth and decries aging. Moids experience a fraction of this but be emboldened by the fact that everyone will be your age at some point in their lives. Talents, skill and the legacy in your work all 'age well' barring Alzheimer's lol.
I think, being the dreaded 30 yr old, its all a gamble of genes and habits/ lifestyle. I am a late bloomer, but I also work hard meet my goals/ self care. Some kids from high school aged horribly, but were the hottest as seniors.
Some geeks I knew had a glow up too! My best friend looks 40, but she was hot in her 20s. Its all a gamble.
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No one gets how much insomnia affects me. When I say I can't sleep, it's not only getting 5 hours, it's getting at most 2 hours of sleep a night for weeks. I shouldn't be driving, but I have to, and it scares me. I know I'm going to fuck up so much at work today. Medical professionals don't take me seriously; I've reported being unable to sleep at all for over 72 hours and "doctor's orders" was to sleep with socks on. I could have gotten a better remedy for my ailment from a shaman. This has been ruining my life for over 6 years. Despite inefficacy and getting tardive dyskinesia (involuntary facial movement) from antidepressants, that's all I've ever been prescribed for my insomnia. I understand the hesitation with prescribing something stronger, but, like, what am I supposed to do at this point? I can't function in society like this. They won't even give me a night's worth of something so I can get through until tomorrow.
I feel that so much nonny
! I hope things will get better for us eventually.
Yeah but sometimes I enjoy being a bitter cunt, though. Nonnie
, you still have a personality. I don't know why people say that when they're depressed. Losing interest in stuff doesn't mean you're losing your personality. You can still be interesting and multifaceted, you've still got shit to say and your own opinions/way of being.
I would use chatgpt to generate an answer to that kek
People like that are so exhausting, it screams of main character syndrome. Especially when you're not that close it's so weird.
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She watched Bojack Horsemen recently
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I joined a self-improvement Discord server in hopes to find a group of women who'd like to form an accountability group, so we can keep track of our goals, set targets and motivate each other. Low and behold, all the people that responded to me are moids. I specifically asked for women only in my request. I don't know what I expected.
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feeling really sad about women’s rights and the state of the world today nonnies. i hate that i’m attracted to men, i wish i could divest completely. it sucks so much knowing that the vast majority of men perpetuate the degradation and exploitation of women via porn, and that 95% of men i’m attracted to likely hold sexist beliefs even if they don’t realize it. i have been abused and raped and taken advantage of so many times. but still my heart remains open. i so desperately want to experience love, healthy sex, and partnership. but i love myself too much to settle for some sexist moid. what to do?
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Suddenly remembered this one time a few years ago I went out to this seafood place to have birthday lunch with my mom. She invited her friend without telling me, and then I ended up paying for my own birthday lunch for the three of us. I'm still fucking mad about it. I wouldn't have been mad if it was just me and my mom (like how I wanted it to be), but to add insult to injury, I absolutely loathe this specific friend of hers. She's annoying as fuck and pulls some rude shit on my mom sometimes (like once my mom dropped something while taking it out of the car and her friend screamed at her) that is not acceptable to me, "best friend" or not. Who are you to yell at my mom? Don't pull that shit.
Another time, my dad tried to gently ask me if I could give my mom's friend a ticket to my college graduation. I flipped out over the phone and screamed at him. He knew I'd flip out and still had the audacity to ask (and told me later my mom asked him to ask because she knew I'd flip too). I did NOT let that stupid bitch have a ticket. I knew it wasn't going to be to celebrate, it was because there's a shopping outlet a near drive from my university and I knew it was just going to be an excuse for that bitch to go shopping. Even if I did get to have my moment in the sun with my family, I was hoping to take them around my college town because it's a really fun and lovely place and I wanted to share it with my parents… but we ended up going to the shopping outlet anyway and my mom called her friend to help her buy stuff. I was fucking mad. Also the bitch wouldn't have been able to come even if I was a doormat to let her come, we had to pack up shit from my dorm room to bring back home and there was no extra space in the car for her stupid ass.
During lockdown, my mom would go out to accompany her while she went grocery shopping. She said "she's lonely, she has no one with her!" Uh, that's not my problem. My problem is making sure you and dad stay the fuck home and don't catch covid. I don't care is that stupid bitch is lonely. She can fuck off and die for all I care.
I hate that bitch so fucking much. I try to be a good and pleasant daughter in front of my parent's friends, but I don't pull any of that shit in front of this lady. I have a permanent scowl on my face when I see her. She's going back abroad for a bit and I hope she gets stranded or her plane crashes. Fuck that bitch.
We used to be really close, like hang out daily, but shit happened. It's like finding out you're not as close as you think you are, you just bonded over suffering similarly. I'm not even close that more to my childhood best friend I'm still on good terms with. We just accept life gets in the way. I would never ask her why we're not close or if I was a good person. It's dumb.>>1477648
I think about the past often as well, but I'm similar to you. I deal with it alone. Sometimes I'll reach out to someone I'm currently close with to reminisce about me once possibly behaving in a way I'd find unfavorable, but I get over it.
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To this day, I'm still not over the fact that "friend zone" is even considered to be a real thing. How much ego do you need to have to create this concept it's insane
>Women are too kind and gently reject men by saying that they see them only as friend, clearing implying that they lack the physical attraction or important characteristics to be a good partner
>Men misinterpret completely the message and start thinking that they were too nice to them
>Men start to genuinely believe in the "friend zone" and that acting like alpha or sigma male will get them the girl next time
I think that all women should all collectively agree to just straight up call men ugly in order to reject them. That's the only way we can break the circle I believe
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i need religious/witchcraft/woowoo anons to pray on/manifest my scrote coworkers downfall. he's a deceitful passive aggressive thief but he's really good at manipulating everyone's perception and appearing like a goofy funny good guy meanwhile hes stealing their tips and stealing from the register and drank thousands of dollars of company alcohol in like 2 months and then lied abt it at the store meeting. he's also ridiculously condescending and antagonizes me and another girl with backhanded condescending remarks trying to make us feel bad because he's insecure and jealous of us. if I blow up at him i just look like the irrational bad guy because hes just an uwu innocent goofball with ADHD. he's a fucking idiot who obviously let being a ~gifted kid~ in a podunk nowheresville school 10 yrs ago get to his head, one of those dumbdumbs who doesnt realize theyre dumb and speaks on shit they know nothing about. he constantly butts into my conversations with others to input his retarded contributions that contribute nothing, just autistic infodumping half the time not even on subject. but god forbid i get tired of it, IM the bad guy. i literally am in a bind and cant do ANYTHING for the sake of my professionalism. today he condescended me in front of other employees and mansplained something abt MY skilled position that i already knew to me. hes a fucking waiter and has been all his life and needs to stay in his lane. i had to just silently seethe all shift listening to his annoying redditor voice and insane fakeass laugh schmoozing other employees all day so no one ever picks up on what a scumbag piece of shit loser he really is. meanwhile doing passive aggressive shit like leaving huge boxes of shit in the middle of the exit path for my venue all shift. I CAN'T RETALIATE OR SPEAK UP because thats the nature of his manipulation, to have perfect plausible deniability. ive confronted him firmly but politely before abt shit he does and he's extremely defensive, first defense is dismissing your feelings and concerns, second is squealing like a pig if you dont allow yourself to be brushed off and acting like you attacked him. how do you get around behavior like that without being readymade? that's why i need the help of spiritual anons in praying that he hangs himself with his own rope and SOON, because i cant take much more of his shit but i cant get away from him…
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>>1477788>I think that all women should all collectively agree to just straight up call men ugly in order to reject them.
This sounds nice and all but then pic related happens. This is the first news article I saw, there's more like these.
Sorry I wasn't really being clear in my post. I guess I was refereing more toward the attitude that certain men have where they will seriously tell you that they are "stuck" in the friend zone, like they had any chance to begin with. They will resent to have treated a women with respect as a friend afterward if they don't end up dating her. The possibility that they are not good enough for her is impossible to imagine so they will just think that they were too nice/friendly. It's very different from the neutral and reasonable attitude that you described>>1477799
I was saying this more in joking tone because I think that some pushy dude just need to hear it in a very straighforward way but yeah you are right unfortunately
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Nonnies PLEASE I NEED all of you to knock some sense into me. This one moid ghosted me out of nowhere after two months of non-stop communicating and I'm so preoccupied by it to the point where I keep messing up at work and barely sleeping. I just don't get it. We shared the same interests, same views (especially on kids and marriage), have the same friends (we met at a friend's party and saw each other many times in person), the chemistry was on point, we texted multiple times throughout the day every day for weeks and suddenly he stopped responding days ago even though he's online. PLEASE I NEED SOME TOUGH LOVE I AM GOING INSANE. Thank you.
, male attention is the most abundant resource on earth. You could go out and get a boyfriend in thirty minutes if you wanted to. Meanwhile, you're chasing some guy who isn't interested.
For most women, courtship is the only time in your life when you will be treated well. In exchange for six to eight months of loving words, gentle conversations, and a couple of dinners, you will then clean his house, bear his children, cook his dinner, manage his calendar and take control of his social obligations for the next forty years. He is getting an exchange that is undreamed of for women and all he has to do and show you a little love for a few months until you're hooked.
Baby girl, this one is not even doing that. Do not chase someone who doesn't want you, you're better than that.
, you are SO much more worth it than some moid avoiding you and declining to give an answer to his responsibilities. Honestly he sounds like a POS who led you on thinking he'd get laid and when you didn't put out, he left. I'm sorry nonnie
, you deserve more.
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I was just shown this For Love and Lemons ad reel on Instagram and I scrolled down fast because for a second my brain genuinely interpreted it as cp. It starts with this creepy unnecessary zoom in on the models’ crotch, and they have her posing with her knees in, pigeon-toed, and awkwardly fidgeting with her hands and I swear they’re intentionally trying to make it look like a little girl. (It then shows the models’ full body for like a half-second and you can tell she’s an adult, and in the still frame it’s obvious she has woman hips) but the comments in the ad are all talking about how creepy it looks. I’m so sick of this loli/ddlg pandering shit
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Well, I was wondering about how food affects me recently and it lead to me finding out that there's a pretty high chance I'm extremely intolerant to high-sulfur foods and I've been kind of being fucked up by them for years. Onion and garlic made me feel like death, but then I realized that it was more than that and I realized the one common thread between the stuff that makes me feel like shit was having high sulfur.
Perfectly explains why I felt my best when I didn't eat for several days or severely limited my diet–because it's so difficult to avoid it. I should be happy but I'm not, this is ridiculous.
i was fucken bitching about not wanting and she said they already accepted me and if i dont want it then she will pay for it. which is a load of bullshit because she keeps mentioning that because i work i can afford to pay for shit.
this shit is pissing me off so much.
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Thank you nonnies!I really needed to be reminded of those things. I know it's obvious but it just sucks that I fell for it and actually had hope for this to turn into something.
>For most women, courtship is the only time in your life when you will be treated well.
Ugh I think that was the thing for me. It felt so nice to have someone act like a gentleman and trying to get to know me instead of expecting me to put out. I felt like a human for once and not like an object. Silly of me to think he'd be any different.
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While my bf has some good qualities I feel that the things that bug me about him over time outweigh those more each day. One of the biggest issues is that I feel like I'm his mom. And not only for him, but also for his OWN mother too.
He works full time and I work part time so apparently that means I lose and have to do everything around the house. I do literally 99% of the housework. (dishes, laundry, emptying trash, cleaning up surfaces, etc.). He just sits in his room playing video games, building legos, and watching netflix/tiktok. Never steps up to help with anything but acts “disappointed” if I forget something small like refilling the Brita pitcher.
I can see where he gets it from too. We live with his mom (it's cheap, we can't afford to move out right now). She literally lays in bed 24/7 watching tv or playing phone games. She is older and has pretty shaky hands so I get that certain tasks are hard but she just…doesn't care about herself. At all. She doesn't even change clothes for a week or two at a time even though me and my bf have brought it up gently to her.
I do all the cooking. I don't cook for them out of the kindness of my heart. I cook because I'm a grown fucking adult who takes care of myself. But my bf never cooks (he buys fast food if he's ever in charge of meals) and his mom just assumes I'm the personal chef who will make dinner every day. I don't say it lightly but it genuinely triggers something in me when she asks "what's for dinner" every fucking day. It's hard to explain. And she'll just sit at the kitchen table watching me cook waiting for dinner like a child and it's super awkward.
I don't know. The more I type the more I realize I really don't like being here, in so many ways. The main reason is I can't afford to easily move out at this time. If I move out I can't imagine how they'll take care of themselves, but that wouldn't be my problem anymore.
I wish I knew too nonna. It seems to be a constant no matter where you look. With a guy I used to date I learned to just fuck off when he tried to show me a tiktok (a red flag already) he had saved because he would invariable scroll through several "liked" videos of thirst traps and cosplay thots to get to it. You think your girlfriend wants to see that? Oblivious.
It's also funny because he claimed to be poly (even more massive red flag) and said he may want to date someone else to fulfill "needs" he wasn't getting with me. Those needs are pretty obvious to guess. It's also hilarious (well, in hindsight) that he couldn't even take care of one woman's needs that way so who knows how he thought he could do it with two. Needless to say that dude is past tense now. Made me pretty jaded going forward though, ngl.
I used to think like you when I was 16, but when I grew up I realized that it really IS that simple.
The people who matter don't care and the people who care don't matter.
>>1477954>>1477947>The people who matter don't care
They do though. Even good people want attractive partners and everyone judges by looks. I feel you, nonnie
with the 20k. I've spent more than that on plastic surgery and fucking hate that I "had to". So many other things I'd love to spend that on, but more than material things, I want to feel attractive and loved. Not that males can love anyway kek.
>>1477956> Even good people want attractive partners and everyone judges by looks.
This is such nonsense. Nobody. Cares. People think about your looks for half a second and then they're talking to you and you build a relationship based on what comes out of your mouth and what you do.
The ugliest weirdest autists have good friends and romantic partners who love them to bits while tons of vapid plastic women go from one shit relationship to the next and are endlessly engulfed in drama without friends who actually know them or care about them, because plastic surgery doesn't cure mental illness and good relationships can only be built on good mental health.
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Yeah and also God, Santa Claus and the tooth fairy are real + trannies are women.
Enjoy your victim
status, but know that people like me will silently judge you everywhere.
you don't need to spend 10k on beauty, someone is lying to you. you're operating on troon logic.
spend it on therapy, it'll last longer.
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I feel like everyone around me has been weirdly bitter. At first I just thought about it as an end of the year thing but nothing has changed this month.
I recommend just maybe slowly phasing out of doing a lot of the chores while you secretly make plans to move out. He just seems wretched, I'm sorry nonny
, I'm sure when you met him he didn't seem like he'd be like this.
Oh I'm definitely minding my business and not saying anything. I just mentioned the pasta thing jokingly and that's all I've said.
I hadn't planned on saying or doing anything, I was just venting because it's gross. The things I hear these weirdos saying to the younger girls is just a bit yuck is all.
I dont know why everyone is shitting on you for wanting to follow beauty standards to fit in.
If it's purely a financial thing, unless you are disfigured it won't cost you 20k. Exercise more and do a regular skincare routine.
When you say 20k are you referring to plastic surgery or overall treatments like lashes/nails ect?
Yes, the world is superficial and honestly if it makes you feel better and more confident to get something tweaked, go ahead! But if it's deeper than that, like body dismorphia or you feel like its going to be an ongoing thing, I would probably go to a therapist or try to work with your features until you can accept it.
Unconventional features can look really beautiful. I think mainly having nice clear skin and being well groomed eg- nice clean teeth, smelling nice, brushed hair will get you pretty far. You don't need to have big tits and a tiny button nose to be hot. I mainly exercise and look after my skin which costs fuck all and I have just tweaked small things like getting my teeth whitened. I hope you find love in yourself anon.
go to a pharmacy and buy hydrocolloid bandages. not the expensive skincare pimple patches, just the regular cheap packs meant for wounds. it's literally the same thing, keeps your acne clean, stops you from clawing at it and it speeds up healing. mummify yourself in them and replace every 12 hours. your skin will be good again nonny
, this is just a temporary state and you'll get through it.
your needs aren't stupid. women and people in general (men usually cheat to get what they need) need to understand it's okay to need things someone isn't automatically giving you. talk about it with him and if he doesn't fix it, don't compromise yourself and think about if it's important and he's worth it to you.>>1478076
no, anon needs to express her feelings and have them reciprocated. telling someone what you want and making them do it is useless.
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>Spend months on lolcow becoming enlightened about moids
>Decide that moids ain't shit
>Think he's different because he acted mature in the beginning and sounded too good to be true
>He suddenly ghosts me
>Shamefully revert back to lolcow
Honestly I fucking deserve it for being a dumb clown.
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Speaking of the friend zone
Yet another moid has decided to half-assedly orbit me without putting in any effort whatsoever or asking me out on a date
How am I supposed to not take it personally? I'm so ugly that bottom-of-the-barrel moids choose me as their last-resort "attempt" to lazily extract sex from a female shaped object, usually after asking out every other woman and failing
I'm so last rate that they can't even offer to buy coffee or come to me, they actually expect me to chase them after making wishy washy "offers" to """"""hang out"""""""
I want to fucking die, I'm somewhat at peace with being an ugly weirdo when I'm left alone but every time I have to deal with a moid like this my self-esteem drops a little lower
I'd gladly give any of these men the chance IF THEY ACTUALLY COURTED ME AND DIDN'T TREAT ME LIKE A BRO WITH A PUSSY
This is bullshit no one voices their intentions after immediately meeting someone they're interested in and there's nothing wrong with a friendship growing into a romance like most sane people would do. If you aren't friends with your partner are you just there to fuck?
Women develop genuine love and admiration for people therefore some friendships turn into romance, moids don't because moids don't see women as equals and every woman is a potential fuck hole to them.
>gateway to dating is friendship
The gateway to dating could very well be friendship especially with lasting female friendships but moids are shallow and only see fuck holes of women. You're no better thinking that moids are stupid and to teach them to segregate women into 'friend', and not friend' based on fuckability. Arguing that they need be obvious about their insidious intentions doesn't make them any less insidious. No moid outwardly communicates that they want to humiliate and degrade you because it's not socially acceptable to do so in most scrote occasions but moids will assume every woman in front of them are single and heterosexual for their moid satisfaction.
The friend zone is not some cutesy, unserious bullshit like people are spewing or intentional retardism of moids like you suggest, it's entirely intentional due to their inability to see women as people.
yeah from my experience it's>moid finds her adequate (beautiful enough)>moid immediately starts wooing her, attempts to make her his gf
or>moid does not find her adequate (not beautiful enough)>moid becomes her "friend" and can see himself putting his dick in her while drunk if she lets him, until he finds someone he actually wants who he will woo and "simp" for
whereas women can make friends that she develops feelings for out of (what she thinks is) genuine intimacy and familiarity.
men do not do this. men decide what you are to them immediately and if you aren't good enough, you're good enough to be cynically used and milked for everything you've got
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I fucking hate female socialization. Why do I always feel like I am the one who has to reach out to someone or ask if things are okay when I did nothing wrong. I'm always the one checking up on everybody, consoling them and accomodating those around me (yes I know that's called being a pushover) but I hate that this habit is so ingrained into me. I KNOW when something is not my fault but even then I still doubt myself and my intuition and wonder if there's something that I could've done about it.
uh what? >>1478138>This is bullshit no one voices their intentions after immediately meeting someone>>1478145>yeah from my experience it's>moid finds her adequate (beautiful enough)>moid immediately starts wooing
first anon said no one voices their intentions immediately and anon replied saying men do voice their intentions immediately. plus >>1478138
makes no sense anyway based on what she's responding to.
It doesn't contradict that anon at all. Men will usually ask out out or give you more attention if you're attractive enough to them, but keep you as a friend-fuckhole if you're not. They won't voice their intentions they will just put in the effort, and the intentions they have in "friendships" is to use and abuse you.
Anyway, nobody cares
>dont fit in irl
>also dont fit in online
I hate everything, this place sucks, 4chan sucks, most forums who are still somehow alive sucks, internet is just irl2 but with more degeneracy. I wonder if there is more people like me out there, who thinks modern world is cursed and wrong but arent politispergs and just want to have a good time playing videogames watching anime and whatnot. I feel so fucking lonely, i wish i could be stuck in 2010 forever. At this time i have accepted i will always feel this lonely. I cant fit with normies because i am anti gendie bullshit, i dont fit in with most transphobic people because they are also racist and "tradcath" and secretly fuck troons and i dont fit here because i have "scroteish hobbies". I recently started making content online and i fucking hope i can find more people like me, it all feels so lonely and bleak. Anyways, i wad doing fine, one week without lc and then social media pushes me back here, and the state of this makes me want to quit again. Sucks.
same here. however i came to a realization, the issue i was having was taking everything too seriously. ignore people who want to constantly remind you of bad things, be it lolcow, sjws, normies or whoever. let someone else worry about all that and just stop caring. don't
be a radfem. don't
be a tra. don't
live in a society. things will exist whether you like it or not so hang out with normies and their annoying tranny friend then come here to bitch about him, but take things lightly.
are you >>1478204
, think she's me and still won't let it go? or what
Just use the other
vent thread, this one is full of very miserable anons like her. That way your vents won't get dragged to hell and back
I swear there's a idiot or you know who
who is in ot who does nothing but bait bullshit fights or finds something to nitpick
you realize that >>1478220
is in another thread defending lolicon, right? they keep calling anons terfs too.
An anon in the dumbass shit thread trying to use terf
as an insult admitted to doing that. I am pretty sure they're a tranny though.
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I hate how hard it is go get a doctor's appointment in this big fucking city AAAAAAAAAAH. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE FREE IN NINE MONTHS FROM NOW???
right now, i'm sitting in front of a window looking out over the city, and there's something about the way the light from the setting sun is hitting all the buildings that really struck me. it's a peachy gold color in a clear blue sky, which reminded me so much of sunsets where i've from. i don't know why this touched me, but it did. i think it's because i've been feeling restless and a little anxious. sometimes at night when i'm drifting off to sleep, i have visions of either myself or my mother as decaying corpses in the grave. it makes me feel more sad than it does scare me, but i always inevitably wake up feeling panicky and anxious. i don't like getting older, mainly because getting older reminds me that someday my life will end and there's nothing i can do about it. i worry that i've wasted time, that i haven't lived to my fullest potential, that i haven't said i love you enough to the people who matter the most to me. but then i also feel this kind of quiet strength in me that i've never really had, a kind of "okay, you're turning 30, now you can finally live life on your own terms" thing. even though i am scared, i feel strong, too. i don't feel quite as hopeless as i used to when i was younger. i think now i can genuinely go after my dreams because life has shown me that when you show genuine effort, you will be rewarded. watching this sunset gives me a strange sense of comfort, like someone is telling me everything is okay. that no matter where i am in the world, i will always find that light.
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I hope someone here can also relate to this but, I was just reheating some leftovers and am just hit with this weird wave of how much I've changed, around this time 4 or so years ago, I was literally drinking piss and was completely off my fucking rocker, looking visibly and behaviorally fucked up and now here I am… heating yesterdays fried rice… I can't even imagine doing all that right now, even thinking about it is making me barf. It's so weird how in such a small time, I'm a completely different person and absolutely no one around me knows, my friends, coworkers, family… no one. I just lost my shit for a few years and now I'm just working and being very boring. I'm feeling so weird right now, like I can't come to terms with it, I have nothing in common with her at all. And if no one around me has any knowledge of all that happening, did it even happen? I wish I could talk to someone about this, but letting it out like this is nice too.
Definitely can relate to that. A few years ago I was addicted to Xanax and let someone abuse me for years, been through a bunch of other random bullshit with stupid ass "friends".
When I tell people some of these stories they're like "Wow I had no idea/couldn't tell!" And it just baffled me, how could they not? It's insane and really does make you question if any of it was real, like you said. You're not alone! Life might be more boring, but if you're taking care of your health and getting stuff done, it's better than where you were. Proud of you. Hopefully we can all keep it up!
Well, I have to start an eviction process for my roommate. We dated years ago and I thought we were friends so I let him move in with me. But even he said the only reason that would happen is because I wanted to get back together. I told him if we worked on our problems, could pay bills together and be patient it might have been a possibility. But especially after leaving my job to take care of my grandma, stress wouldn't be the best way to rekindle a relationship. She passed away recently and he said I shouldn't be so depressed, stop being a bitch, etc. But she raised me, he doesn't respect the dishes she gave me for my first apartment, and he really doesn't care even though she's helped him in the past. He breaks into my bedroom at night, starts slamming around my belongings, and mixes drugs and starts threatening me after getting trashed. I had to call the cops because he refused to leave my bedroom and they said unless he hurts me, there's nothing they can do. He raped me two weeks ago and it's been hard to process so everything is really hurting.
I told him yesterday that I am pretty sure I'm a lesbian and that he needs to respect it, but it spiralled out of control which led to me calling 911. He kept wanting to force attraction and literally forced me into sex which was so traumatic I had a seizure. I honestly cannot trust men anymore, this is so fucking disgusting. I gave part of my heart and home to someone who should have been my friend and this is what happens. I escaped to my parent's house last night after the cops left because he told me to commit suicide or that he'd do it for me. It's just so wrong. I called a few friends and recorded videos in case anything happens.
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This made me a little emotional, I'm sorry you went through all that crap, anon. I hope you are safe and healthy and surrounded with people who are better for you…
It feels so much better to know I am not alone. Thank you for your words, this is a much better way of processing this feeling like, we've come so far right? Past-me definitely didn't expect I'd have a regular job and friends right now, haha. Thanks for being proud of me. Wish I could give you a hug. Here's to more stable and calm days for us!!
what kind of dog did you get, a husky or something similar? it sounds like you have a working type dog who needs something to do. he's just going to get more belligerent as he gets older and i find with dogs like that, sometimes they get even more ignorant when you correct them.
>He listens to my partner even though I'm the one who does training with him and primarily feeds this asshole dog.
does your partner also discipline him? if not, they need to now because the dog will naturally gravitate towards the person who is more affectionate and you'll never get him trained properly.
also, i know it may sound patronizing but be kind to your dog. they're like little kids; he knows you are frustrated with him, so he is trying to get under your skin so to speak. i mean if push comes to shove, you may have to rehome him if he becomes too much (the bullying of the senior dog is concerning), but i think a little patience, more ground rules, and maybe some creativity in figuring out how to work with the dog will help you in the long run. good luck!!!!
the closest thing I've gotten to "respect" is a moid calling me smart (ugly) while making digs at me, arriving late and "joking" about hooking up with me to my face without even pretending to care about how I would react or what I think
I have never in my life gotten respect from a moid but they don't treat me as female either. I'm more like a goat they could fuck
Thanks nonna, I appreciate it and it's not patronizing because I'm at my wits end. We did a DNA test and he's primarily great pyrenees/chow/german shepard mostly with some additional cattle dog and border collie, so yeah a mix of a bunch of working/guard breeds. When we first got him, he had a great personality and I was psyched to get him to doggy daycare or take him to dog parks, but he's gotten more aggressive to strangers and other dogs on walks (he's ok with meeting dogs in their territory) over time. He can be sweet with the older dog, but like I said, he will go ahead and bully the senior if he's frustrated and he's not getting his way.
By something to do, what do you mean? I take him for walks 3-4 times a day and even try to incorporate jogging (which he hates and will chew the lead/gnaw my hand/jump on me) and try to do some fetch with him as well as sporadic obedience and trick training throughout the day for additional mental exercise. Yet it never seems to be enough and especially in the evening when Im done with work he gets his most ill-behaved. Sometimes ill go to bed early rather than relax in the living room to get away from
My partner also disciplines him and honestly much more harshly than I do. For example, I'll tell him to "go" out of my space and might step towards him once and he'll back up (but only temporarily, he'll keep trying to return, nip my hand or will snap at me as he backs up) whereas my partner will keep following him telling him to "go" as the dog is backing away or even pin him against the wall or grab his snout, which I don't do. It makes me uncomfortable because I feel like that's too harsh and I tell my partner to not overcorrect him like that, but honestly idk because the dog listens to him way more than me.
. I'm 25 never been asked out, kissed or anything. Then a moid recently "asked me out" and I felt so happy until I'd thought about his offer for a while. He wasn't asking me on a date at all. He literally said "you should come over sometime that'd be really nice". AKA he was trying to order pussy to his house as easy as ordering McDonalds. I used to be too ugly to interact with at all, but now I'm good enough to, like you word it, lazily extract sex from. They treat me like an NPC where they gotta choose the right dialogue path to get me to their house. And I bet if I come over they won't even have tidied up or bought wine or anything at all. Or even showered.
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The guy I'm dating crashed his car yesterday, nothing happened to him but his car couldn't be saved. I always thought he was a little reckless driver. He only had this car for 4 months. He didn't answer my texts this morning. Now he called me asking if I have some hydroxyzine to spare because his friend's girlfriend took some drug or shrooms and she has some kind of a psychosis or a panic attack and they can't snap her out of it. I'm a little sick of his junkie friends and him being a loser and a sexual pest. It's my first boyfriend and I really think I'm done with him, I want someone normal ffs, where can I find a normal guy who's mature and responsible and who doesn't have junkie friends. God I should drop him after our second date at the beach when he had too much drinks and he threw up into his fucking backpack and I was so embarrassed I didn't know what to do with myself
I'm feeling attraction to women and it's making me really scared, I don't want to feel this. I mean, I've known I liked women when I started developing feelings during puberty and I accepted it like, "ok, well, whatever" but now it feels too fucking real and like, I actually AM into women and it's freaking me out so badly, like it's actual fact and not just abstract knowledge that I was vaguely aware of. I just caught myself thinking romantically about a distant friend right now and it's like, I can't believe I'm thinking these thoughts? I want to date a woman? This can't be reality. It will complicate things so fucking badly, too fucking badly. I don't want this at all. It's not practical at all, fuuuck fml
I thought the board was slow before I realized how much gets deleted from regular conversations. Is the admin even active?>>1478255
It's harmful to the site, banning and overpolicing for no reason.>>1478496
Yup. I sound schizo but the longer I browse it's honestly clear someone from r9k or with an agenda has moderating powers over there.
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Much love nonny
.hope you heal from the pain they've caused you.
It's kind of a process that comes and goes
Sometimes I feel fine, sometimes I don't
Much love to you too
I would bet an arm and a leg that he also loved playing the victim
, taking advantage of your feistiness or anything perceived as """problematic
""" about you as cover for his own blackhole of shit. I know this ugly nerd type.
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I really don't know how to get myself out of this depressed state. I can't afford a therapist (anymore) because I'd need weekly sessions at this point and the waiting lists are so long. I've tried most self care advice but it's hard to find worth within myself when it was never there in the first place. I don't have friends or family to reach out to either and taking a bubble bath and lighting some candles isn't going to magically fix something that's been broken for over a decade and only makes me feel better for 10 minutes. I feel so lonely and detached even in a crowd full of people. I've tried to pick up some hobbies and exercise but I just don't feel any joy at all.
I hope you get better soon.
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i havent been able to hear out of my left ear for a week but im afraid of going to the doctor about it because i dont like how close theyd have to get to my body to look into my ear. going to wait and see if it goes away after a month
I'm in the same position except I've never been propositioned. Lately I realize that it's better off (after all apparently the #1 rebuttal to women that are single is "haha! You're gonna die alone with just friends and cats! Tragic!")…plus I'm not really attracted to real people…but there is a bit of pain of knowing how it'd go if I were to try. It's dumb.
Anyway, yeah, that stinks, though on the upside it was unlikely to go anywhere even if it was serious.
Could you elaborate on what I misinterpreted when you clearly said retarded shit and make no effort to clear things up like the gateway to dating is not friendship. How was I to interpret that as anything else than "I'm segregating 'fuck' from 'non fuck'". Aren't friendships necessary to develop relationships in the first place? Please explain this, and that moids should always voice their intentions? Please put some effort into your posts other than random shitty insults.>>1478680>nobody cares to deal with her so i will and i take the all blows figuratively and literally
She sounds like a type of narc, but an emotional glass canon type of narc kek. People being unwilling to take criticism is characteristic of narcs, it doesn't matter how that unwillingness manifests it could be anger or sadness like in her case.
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Honestly makes me so mad and sad that I never learned to pirate. So many shows are spread out across different platforms and it would cost so much to be subscribed to them all. I'm not super young, 24, and I remember older siblings using limewire but not TV show/films so i think I missed out. I know how to use some websites but I wish I knew how to download shit without a bunch of viruses so I could build a nice collection.
There's always a chance of viruses, even for "pros", but there's always a chance to learn. Don't give up on yourself yet. Read up on pirating threads on other sites, and see what they do. When I pirate shit, I also do it first on an old laptop I don't give a shit about. If I feel good about it, I can transfer it over to my nicer computer. On the old laptop, just make sure you're not logged in to anything and use an account you can let accumulate spam. I make fake accounts to subscribe to shit all the time. Best of luck, nonnie
, and happy sailing the seas, kek
Learn to use utorrent nonnie
, they have most things on there c: also if you're gonna use any putlockers etc to watch stuff, make sure you have a handful of adblock addons and antipopups installed on your browser. Enjoy the pirate's life!
What viruses? What exactly did you experience?
Cause I've been a pirate my whole life and I call bullshit.
I'll check it out anon thanks, I do use ghostery but the site I used to watch stuff on went down, it might be back under a similar address though, haven't checked.>>1478779
I remember I used to watch anime on shady websites when I was younger and would end up with viruses on the computure. It might be me being more paranoid then necessary though.
What the fugg, just pirate it, it's so far less effort and you get a better product.>>1478773
qbittorrent is better, but torrenting does need a 5 min VC explanation to get going.
TBH it's crazy to me that there's now people who don't know how to torrent media. That used to be one of the first things you learn when you go online. Hell it used to be one of the reasons you did.
Oh, hi, so did see my post after all?
Sorry to hear that you're doing so poorly, I had hoped it might be helpful to know what it is.
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>haven't heard from moid in 3 weeks
>listening to lana del rey and sulking
>get text from the moid just now
>"hi nonnie. me, me, me, mememe. also me."
>no how have you been, no questions, no mentioning his absence, nothing
I now realize this is what he always does, it's always about him. I'm not gonna respond at all. I want to choke him to death actually
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Thank you, nonny
. I really appreciate your kind words. I feel so fucking violated and sick, but for the reasons you listed I can't tell her. What good would that do? She likely already knows he's a degenerate anyhow. After a long think I have to admit I considered buying a creepy mask like pic related then waiting for ol pervasaurus to linger in his kitchen. I'd throw open the curtains with the mask on, bare-breasted with theatrical blood dripping down them. Might scare him into a cardiac event. Jerk off to that you slimy freak. My thirst for justice is pretty strong atm. Your kindness however has quelled my rage a bit and feels like gentle hug. Thank you.
He's probably a retard and thinks being a terf
is comparable to being indoctrinated to right wing propaganda
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Call me Bozo the clown because I gave a dude a chance even though I wasn't really that physically attracted to him (I have a high libido but I constantly found excuses as to why I didn't/couldn't have sex with him) because he had his shit together, acted like a gentleman (cooked for me, picked me up and brought me back home, paid for dates etc) and because I've been touch starved for years and he just suddenly ghosted me three days ago. I'm so mad at myself. I know I should just not reach out to him but I am so tempted to at least call him out for being immature as fuck and not even saying that he's not interested anymore. I know I shouldn't even give such a moid any attention but being ghosted by this 4/10 moid really bruises my ego and I just want to get back at him for that so that I can move on. This is so embarassing omg.
>>1479140>That sucks though that 180 would give me whiplash
Kek yeah it definitely did. Even my friends could tell that he was way more into me than I was into him and he went out of his way to text and see me all the time, no matter how busy and suddenly nothing. I don't even care if he's not interested anymore (I only used him for passing some time, going on dates and kissing and cuddling anyway and never expected it to go anywhere because of the lack of sexual attraction), I'm just angry that I wasn't the one who broke it off first.>>1479142
Thank you sweet nonny
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up until about a few months ago my brother who is a decade older than i am was my actual idol and my biggest subject of admiration to the point where i tried my best to emulate him as much as i could in middle school and vowed to be the female version of him. well as you can expect he's just like other internet addicted moids. my whole world is shattered. i honestly expected him to be different. maybe he was or maybe i was too young and oblivious to see it. i'm disgusted i ever felt that way about him. he's seriously akin to the quasi pedophile i went to highschool with that groped me and was addicted to masturbating and hentai. maybe i was subconsciously keeping myself ignorant but i never noticed how crude he was, or maybe he just feels like he can say anything now that i've been of age for a while. i don't want to think of it. don't ever trust a moid who watches anime no matter how much you love him. i can't even fully express how much love i had for him and how much of my life i spent holding him to the highest regard. but i guess that's my fault. i wish i knew less. i wish i still lived in my ignorant bliss. i don't want to know more than i already do. i cried myself to sleep and when i woke up because of how shocked i was. i don't know how to act around him anymore. i don't know how i can ever be the same but at the end of the day it's a moid so maybe i should have seen it coming but i didn't think of that considering how highly i thought of him i didn't think he could ever. well now i know better at least
I was already seeing the community outpatients mental health team, so I got discharged back into their care.
Thank you for the kind words.
I took a stacks of diphenhydramine along with lots of my pain medications. I came close before with that mix and thought I just needed more time for it to work without being found and intervened with. Thought the cold would help too.
I would definitely not recommend it.
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Accused of being a "fake bisexual" and "shaming lesbian sexuality" by AGPs who unpromptedly post garden variety male gaze coomshit on the regular
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I have $8000 in credit card debt due to me being a doormat for my family and felt pressured to open a new line to help them out because I assumed they would help me pay it off, which was a horrible mistake on my part because they haven’t. Now every paycheck I get is either going towards paying it off or rent. I hate myself for being so financially stupid. I just want this shit paid off but the monthly interest charges keep fucking over whatever progress I’m making.
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God I hate to perpetuate the trope about inlaws being lousy but in my experience it's super fucking accurate. Going to the flea market today with my husband and he's like "I'm gonna invite my mom" fucking WHY she likes middle of the mall shit only and hates secondhand shopping or flea markets and is literally just going to complain the entire time.
I hear you nonnie
. this dude I know offered to take me out for dinner and drinks and then ghosted me the week it was meant to happen. he then texts me saying he 'forgot' and asking if we can hang out again… I hate that he thinks thats acceptable. I'm always getting random moids from high school messaging me with some half arsed attempt to hit on me too. I hate that they assume I have such low self esteem that I would go for this bullshit.
ayrt & I completely agree. I had a gender crisis when I was diagnosed over 15 years ago. I’d never heard of it and the endo who diagnosed me was brisk and fatalistic, telling me I was doomed to lifelong acne, obesity and infertility because I had too many male hormones. He was wrong about all three and I have completely normal testosterone levels now.
It’s so offensive and it’s dangerous. I went through that gender crisis and came out the other side a healthy, secure teenage tomboy who was proud to be female and comfortable with having certain masculine features. Would that happen today?
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I want a gf so bad that I'm finally concidering getting my shit together in order to stop being a neet
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The week before my period is hitting me like a sledgehammer. I just want to read a book but I can't stop fucking crying for no reason I can't even read through my god damn tears
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i just want deranged fujo radfem friends. i want them to like dead dove content as much as i do. i want them to like GL as much as i do too. why can't i find this. all the fujo radfems i see are like "ironic" fujoshi or newfags who only got into the hobby recently aaaaaaa
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>>1479599>tfw no one to read propernicethat fanfics with me
I feel you anon, there’s no more craziness like how there was in the older fujo fandoms. The only crazy nowadays is tif headcannons being pushed on every male character so I constantly see stupid troon shit in my fics. Missed the era where people just wrote dead dove shit and no one bat an eye or it was seen as a challenge if you could stomach the content. Never forgetting the Hetalia fandom for having a fuckton of fics like that and some being infamous for it. still trying to look for the romano/italy fic where he skull fucks his dead corpse on the beach
I miss being a young unhinged weeb!!
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I fucked up and got a bunch of Shins songs stuck in my head and it's negatively impacting my mental health.
Oh completely, towards the end of the relationship his favorite thing to do would be to complain about how I changed, he couldn't describe it, but just had a "bad feeling" and would distance himself from me. He didn't think for a second that it was on him, it's never his fault only mine. Or when it was undeniably his fault he would pull the "I'm such an asshole I hate myself you deserve better" shit. He also heavily restricted me, started shit with me and would demand photos of my friends and stuff or make up insane scenarios, usually related to sex trafficking on why I can't go out and would have some sort of issue with any job I had and would start shit with me on the job until I had to leave early because he literally wanted me to believe the relationship was going to end and would make a huge deal being vague about how "he no longer cared", after I was saving up and planning to go to a uni near him mind you. Like no shit I changed you don't allow me to do anything outside of work, if I had any conversation outside of a completely predictable smalltalk he'd complain about how much I changed, etc. I truly believe he was attempting to ruin my personality for others and wanted me to have a personality of cardboard so no one would be interested. He's one of those idiots that thinks their "gut feelings" are words to live by, which can be true to some, but this dude took it to a whole new level, and his "gut feelings" only ever seemed to happen if he wanted to restrict me from something or abuse me
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I'm starting to worry if I've ruined my life to the point of no return.
Life story incoming:
I'm 28 and a two-time college dropout. I have about 30k in student loans from my first institution- then my second one I nearly graduated but a close family member passed away suddenly and my grades took a nosedive and it wasn't cost-efficient anymore to keep paying to fail. I withdrew thinking it would only be temporary but I never returned. I lived at home with my family and struggled to find employment since I couldn't drive even though I was 21 so I worked a few part-time retail jobs. I lived with my bf around this time in the city and started working for his family- I was dealing with a lot of mental health issues that are now more under control. When I started feeling better my bf of 8 years broke up with me and I realized I had spent almost my entire twenties with him and had almost nothing to show for it. I know I was a bit of a moocher- I'm living on my own now and have a full-time retail job but as I get closer to my 30s I have a lot of shame about my lack of success and how much I've failed compared to my peers. I live in an expensive high-powered city and I can relate to my younger coworkers but nobody my age on dating apps. I live paycheck to paycheck and couldn't afford an emergency and am starting to really stress about money. I want to work in an office and have a real job but I have no idea how to afford going back to school or when I would even have time with my work schedule. I don't even know where to start rebuilding my life.
NTA but yes and yes, I had a moid friend who would always brag about how reliable his gut feelings were, and sometimes they were right don't get me wrong, but eventually he would start using it as an excuse to be controlling towards me and other girls in our friend group, he'd somehow always get the ~bad stomach feeling~ around every boyfriend any girl had, even for the ones that were consistent with not being bad and ended up never being bad anyway.
Gut feelings exist but too many people use it to be manipulative to those who trust them
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i feel like i could've written this word for word
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Nonnies, what the hell is wrong with me. I keep on forgetting stuff and remembering them at the last minute, often becoming late as I scramble to do my uni tasks. I'm beyond furious at myself because I write things down, setting them as calendar reminders, and STILL. FORGET. It's maddening, I can't believe I'm starting the year like this! I already got in hot water with one of my professors because I didn't respond to her for a long time during the break. And now I submitted a discussion post late!!! How could I do this!? I feel like I am eroding my image as a responsible student to my teachers and I'm so afraid they will have a low opinion of me. I didn't use to do this so what the hell happened!?!? I wish I could clone myself and shake her, like WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? I want to get my shit together. I feel like I'm going to explode. I keep on running behind assignments for no good reason at the start of the year.
Nonnies, what do I do…
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for real. i just need a girlie that's genuinely into insane stuff without being lobotomized by libfem gendie shit>>1479656
same i just had the gif on hand>>1479720
it's hard out here for us. most rfs can't seem to comprehend the whole fiction =/= reality thing
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god speed to you, nonnie
. i'm a terrible degen fujo too and it's hard out here for us. some radfem/terfs seem to get us or tolerate us but they're hard to find. value them if you do! we're always hiding amongst you in odd places kek
Sorry to hear that nonny
. My friends ex bf raped her and a girl we confided in started dating the rapist one week later. Pick me’s are gonna line up after crusty abusive
So sorry that happened to you both. So many women are such extreme pick mes that they'd rather end up with violence, abusive
moids than be alone. I dont trust anyone who picks their moids over their girl friends. they're both pieces of garbage that will definitely be miserable.
I'm doing my best not to a-log bc I relate to so much of what you wrote but lets just say I am 30 years old and in almost the exact same situation. Something I've learned getting older and opening up about dating/finance struggles more (bc I am beyond shame at this point, cringe but free, etc) is that this is actually really, really common. Especially living in a big city. SO many people our age are living paycheck to paycheck, or are 1-2 big cost emergencies away from being broke. People just hide it, same as they hide their debt. Letting go of that shame will help so much with being able to tackle what you don't like and start to change it- it's empowering in a way to accept that the situation is not unique, the economy is so bad right now and its depressingly common to be struggling that way. The idea that you have everything sorted in your 30s is kinda… idk. I'm starting to think it's not as common. 30 felt so old when I was 20, but now I'm like idk. Maybe I just learned that from movies, that 30 year olds have a career and a home and kids and blah blah blah.
This is also only semi-related but I was gonna rant about it…it's amazing how many people in their late 20s/early 30s are supported by parents. Or come from wealthy families. They NEVER share it, and say stupid shit like "We're comfortable" or even LARP as being poor, but then you find out their parents will pay their rent, or send them grocery/doctor money on the regular and it's like wtf. That's insane to me but also makes sense how some people seem to not be as panicked about being broke all the time. The stakes aren't as high when your checking hits $0 if you know that you'd still be ok should rent come due or you end up in the hospital- family will pick up the bill..
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Never underestimate scrote's insanity and obsession nonas, I just learned my ex boyfriend from six years ago obsessively talk shit about me to this day and keep saying to whoever will listen that my current bf need to be rescued because I must be severely abusing him. Meanwhile he's integrated an uggo infested polycule and has started to go out at night crossdressing using a name very similar to mine.
And yes I wanna kms knowing that I dated such a degenerate sex pest.
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anyone online that's seen me compares me to maui from moana, and you know i love the legends in polynesian cultures about him and his character in the movie was pretty cool… but im a biological woman!!! i dont know if i should take it as an insult or a compliment at this point. like yeh im of polynesian background also brown, same hair, a fat nose and a little out of shape so im pretty undesirable physically but god DAMN i cant look like a moid… no way… i wanna get fit this year and if i still possess masculine facial features im just gonna go down the androgynous route but… it's over.. anyone i'm close with says there's no resemblance at all but i feel i'm being lied to jfc
Growing up, everything I did was either made fun of, used against me somehow, or blown up to be undeniable proof of me being a spoiled, evil manipulator when I was just a little kid.
I remember selling my Barbies to neighbor kids for money and getting scammed because I didn't know how much things cost back then. My family was dirt poor and I just wanted to help because they'd been complaining about it in front of and to me for as long as I could remember.
I went to my grandma all happy and told her how much I made for them, she got angry, laughed at me and then called me dumb and gullible. I was like 5. I then asked her to help me get my toys back since she said I got scammed. She laughed, said it's my own fault and that now that I have no toys I'll learn my lesson.
I also got mocked for trying to learn how to cook ('Drop it right now, you're just making a mess'), but also not knowing how to cook ('You will listen to me and do as I say. Talk to me again when you learn to cook'). I was bad because I wasn't more like my neighbor, but also my neighbor was dumb and her mom is a trailer park whore who just married rich and thinks she's hot shit. The sky is blue but it's also green. I hate my shit family.
you need to read better gl. look away from jpn made stuff and check out manwha/manhua. i recommend moonlight garden, godspeed >>1479750
we need our own dog whistles
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NTA but if you could give more gl recommendation you would be my savior nonnie
. I'm currently trying to find some good stuff to read
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i am copy-pasting these posts i made a long time ago from another chan. if you've seen them before, that's why:
>Her Tale of Shim Chong
a favorite, so it's first. historical drama chronicling the relationship between a poor, roguish slum girl and the wife of a noble. the schemes they pull to get revenge on the wife's family are fun to watch.
>Opium, by Aji
didn't finish this one, but it's about a pair of doctors in umm…early, developing south korea. feels like a bl kinda because of how wimpy and blushy the mc is against her love interest (who's cold, unfeeling, manipulative and always in control of the situation, etc.).
it's like abo, kind of…except omegas are the only gender. the main setting is a brothel and there's this entire caste of women who forcibly "bloom" once a month (e.g. they get stupid horny and start to smell like flowers). the world is also matriarchal, which is based.
literally abo yuri. this is 100% just your typical dumb abo yaoi but with girlies instead (based)
another favorite. age-gap between a doctor (i think she was 30…something?) and a high-schooler she accidentally hooked up with. it's dramatic and tackles the subject seriously, though. kind of ends on an unsatisfying note, so be careful.
>What Does The Fox Say
kind of a gl classic. though i only faintly remember it because i read it back in high-school, lol. anyway it's about women in an office…and the mind games they play on one another.
here's some yuri that makes me think of bl:
one-shot. cold, possessive top with a weak-willed bottom. picrel is from this.
title sort of gives it away but this leans hard into the ~forbidden love~ trope. it's not cute & fluffy as it usually is in yuri though; rather kind of dark and sexy and desperately co-dependent.
another one-shot. more typical seme/uke feeling stuff.
this has gotten crazy long so i'll stop here but as a bonus recommendation: the gl version of the sadistic beauty side-story is pretty good. fluffy bdsm.
Here's how my day is gonna be tomorrow.
I have to walk for 25 mins to the station, catch the train that does not check for tickets, get there in 50 mins and sneak on a bus that doesn't check tickets or walk another hour, to get to the office that will help me get out of this country back to my country to go pick up money in person because they refuse to fucking send it to me. I have to get up ass crack early to do all of this, on my period, barely eaten in two weeks, in the cold and potential rain, and then hope I can get back here in time to finish what I started. All because no bank would accept me, they won't send me my money, I can't work, and I trusted people and had even a slither of hope things would work out. I never should have fucking waited and trust people, they wasted my time. I might not even fucking make it tomorrow, I might drop dead, honestly I don't think I am gonna survive.
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thank you nonnie
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I’m so fucking frustrated!! I’m general a very happy person but I realized that I’m awful at expressing more negative thoughts and shit just comes across as rough and harsh when I don’t intend it too. I got into a dumb squabble with my fiancé earlier today, and the only I can remember is him retorting that I, “ don’t need to be so defensive.” LIKE FUCK YOU!!!! IM NOT BEING DEFENSIVE ITS JUST MY STUPID TONE BC I DONT KNOW HOW TO REGULATE IT OR WHATEVER SO YOU DONT PRECEIVE ME AS DEFENSIVE. ALSO FUCK YOU IF YOU FIND ME BEING DEFENSIVE, WHAT ELSE THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO BE? SUBMISSIVE TO YOUR DUMB SUGGESTIONS AS IF I DIDNT DO MY OWN RESEARCH??!
This shit just hurts so much…. I’m slowly realizing I don’t have anyone in my life I’m comfortable enough to express these negative feelings with so I just hold a lot of it in or journal about it until I forget…. Picrel my emotion and mental state rn
I learned how to do a certain crochet stitch last night and was doing it so good, but now I'm struggling with it again.>>1480013
I always thought that that pic looked like a Sims screenshot.
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it's the panopticon theory but for the male gaze. women get off on the idea of imagining that men are watching them and would approve of what they are doing. so they participate in/think that they actively enjoy degrading shit bc they get dopamine from imagining some dude watching them do it and think they are sexy/worthy for it.
being a pickme even in total isolation is extremely depressing to imagine
It’s nice when a scrote pays for things without me having to ask.>>1480192
Women like you who have casual sex are disgusting. I hope you get raped>>1480215
Yes if they're braindead pickmes(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)
Oh that's a good idea thank you nonna. I didn't know that tbh. Now I feel a bit less disgusted>>1480255
lmao i just assumed they're being funny besides >>1480253
Tell him you're missing a positive male role model, that's your wound.>>1480284
Metoo didnt do that, moids were always like that, and the thought of him crying about that gives me strength and joy.
absolutely agree, i had a momentary lapse in judgment a few days ago and went on 4chan just because it's so slow here, and while i regretted it immediately due to the pure concentrated moidism, i was like "wow, people still actually talk to each other here" kek. so many imageboards out there, but almost none that are both active and
not filled with vitriolic hatred of women. it's depressing
>>1480284>A guy asked me about a one night stand we had and I said I felt regret and he went fucking ballistic, then he started crying and said he was scared that I would accuse him falsely of rape.
What a fucking retard. I have better things to do.
wtf, feeling second hand annoyance for you anon. What an absolute whiny bitch. Really telling that instead of moids asking the woman what was wrong or how he could have done better, his first reaction was to panic. Moids only think about themselves.
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Someone I know, who is single, is fucking around with someone who is taken, and tries to say things like "I'm a woman so it doesn't count" to excuse her behavior. It's so upsetting.
Nta and kinda derail, but why is marina also considered problematic
like the other two?
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It's been 10 years since 2013
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I'm so sick of making so little right now for my industry. I deserve way more pay. I'm pushing my raise for now rather than March. I work all day with no fucking break because our stupid client is fucking retarded. WHY AM I DYING FOR YOUR DEADLINES.YOU SENT ME THE FUCKING MODEL, YOU MADE THAT MISTAKE. WHY AM I FIXING YOUR FUCKING MISTAKE AND TELLING ME THAT IM DOING SOMETHING WRONG. I WILL FLY TO YOUR STUDIO AND BEAT YOUR FACE WITH A DILDO TO HUMILIATE YOU. AAAAAAAAHHHHRRRRRRHHHHHHHH
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I wish my parents never brought me to the US as a teen. I know I should be grateful to be here, but I've been utterly miserable for the last 10 years.
Even though I've officially spent half of my life here this year, I never felt so distant and far away from a place to call home. I can't think of a single thing I like about here. I also have no attachments since everyone I care about is far away. I just want to leave and pretend this half of my life never happened, but idk how to cope with all the wasted years.
If it will bring you relief, do it nonny
. Your home has changed immensely since you last lived there, and will never be the same. But if you have family and a support system and a way to sustain yourself or them, please go for it. Do not worry about lost years, they joy of the correct decision will make that heartache vanish if this is indeed the main obstacle to you truly living. Go home, you deserve it, especially after all these years. I've given up on all that and yet I find myself constantly longing. Some of my siblings went back and I know they don't have much of a life there rn, but they are happier.
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I have been so deprived of human interaction that I'm not sure if I even want it anymore.
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Thank you to the anons that taught me how to torrent the other day. After some trial and error I've already downloaded a few episodes of a show. My heart beats for you anons.
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This is really petty but I have a friend who is too shy to ask anything in our class group chat, so she always ask me. And I never have once been able to answer her questions, yet she keeps asking. Like girl just ask the group chat I never know anything!!
Thank you from the bottom of my heart nonnie
, I really needed to hear this. I guess it’s better to make a decision late than never. I hope one day we can both find peace and feel at home again no matter where that place may be. >>1480439
kek you are so right, in hindsight I should’ve realized it a bit sooner but oh well
i'm going insane, i've known this man for 14 years, i'm going on 29 and met him when i was 15, we were each other's first love, we couldn't stop talking for all those years, always so drawn to each other despite our relationship being chaotic, and me thinking i was asexual and never having libido for him, etc. i thought all those years we were meant to be and would overcome everything, and this motherfucker left me when i lost my job and had a big depressive episode last summer. i thought like always he would come back to me, we were no contact all summer but i knew in september he was starting a new job and would have his life together, and i was so delusional i thought he would call me back then and we would finally live together. he didn't. i was going insane but being the avoidant bitch that i am i kept the silence going, until he came back in november. my life suddenly had meaning again, him coming back was the only light in my dark pitiful life, i was overjoyed, was already picturing myself with him in his new apartment. i learned he had someone else. in 14 years, it never happened, we were everything for each other, it was a crazy obsession for both of us. i felt a deep pit inside my stomach when he told me that but i thought it was a lie and that he was just trying to get me to be jealous, like always. today i saw a picture of him with her he put as his profile picture on whatsapp. i had the worst panic attack i've ever had and threw up on the floor (and partly on my poor cat). i cant believe this sick joke i'm emotionally destroyed but objectivaly i also feel so played. i wasted all my youth on this man, i'm almost 30, i dont have dating experience because i was always after him, i dont have a stable situation because i relied on him finally finishing college to live from his money (like he promised me), and now that this piece of shit has money and makes 10k a month he's out of my life? i sound so superficial but somehow it adds to the suffering. and the girl is younger than me of course, he made sure to tell me she was 21. i feel like the dumbest bitch, look at me being considered old by moids, alone, no money, no family, no friends, depressed and ready to do the craziest shit for money because i hate myself and my life. oh and also i gave him my virginity last year after he told me we couldn't keep going without physical intimacy despite him knowing that i was traumatized about sex, he fucked me, made me suck his dick and all the fun things i still have nightmares about. funny how that goes, a few months after that he was leaving me after 14 years of crazy love?? it's almost like he just wanted to take my body as retribution for all the trouble he went through all those years with me, and when he had it he finally felt free of me and left me like the useless dirtbag that i am. i can't even pay rent anymore, i'm unemployed because of this severe depressive episode.
i'm so close to just selling my body, for all it's worth now anyway i have nothing to lose, and it's not like i have a mother, a father, siblings or friends to care about what happens to me? i should go for it, i think i will nonnies. 27 years of virginity to be played like that. take this post as a warning to never be as retarded as me please.
i'm doubleposting i'm so sorry ignore me, but despite all of this i still love him so much and i wish i could stop feeling this horrifying pain in my heart, the picture of him and her being happy is destroying my mind, she was smiling next to him oh my god how can people love you so deeply and then stop loving you to love another person instead? how does this work, tell me? why is she so smug i want to burn them both i feel so pathetic i thought i was mature but look at me having my first heartbreak at 29 and acting like a fool about it, i don't even recognize myself. he's touching her now i can't stop torturing myself with these thoughts, i supported this man throughout all his teenage years and most of his adult life and now that he's settled and ready to live life i don't exist? she just came into his life so quickly, as if i never existed? and this bitch gets to enjoy the money he never had for me, too. aaaah why am i so petty and childish but this feels so unfair because it seems like she has everything and i had nothing, she has the grown accomplished man ready to marry and i had the dumb, horny and broke child? i didn't even get to enjoy his money fucking useless moid. life really is doing me dirty since day one, maybe i deserve it
Oh no, I'm so sorry this happened to you nonna, I imagine it's hard to not feel used after being treated like this… I know men are sociopathic so often but can't help being shocked every time I come across a story like what happened to you. Hope you can find some support, I know you've said you have no friends but maybe even for starters a place like lolcow can keep you grounded and remember that moids are just not worth all this. You'll be better off becoming radicalized about unfairness of relationships and cruelty of men than harm yourself by selling your body. 27 is still young, you still have life ahead of you. It will take time to heal from this awful mess you got tangled in but you can still start over, not for anyone else but for yourself. Block that guy everywhere, delete anything that would remind you of him, I know it will be hard but it's necessary to heal. Don't do anything stupid too, I'm just a stranger on the internet but I worry about you. Things won't be ok for a while for sure, but I'm really rooting for you here, you can get yourself out of this.
I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this nonnie
, your ex is a piece of shit. But please don’t give up like this. You still have so much time to make things right, most peoples’ lives barely start at 30, regardless of whatever moids made you believe. You’re not washed up or useless, you deserve to be cared for, but you need to care for yourself first to protect yourself. You had a job once, you can always get one again, this is not the end of the world even if it may seem like it right now. I know it’s easier said than done but forget about that retarded moid, besides if it’s any consolation there’s no guarantee he won’t leave her later either. Things will get better with time, you got this.
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>see reddit moid comment about his preferences
>UNDER 25 SKINNY SMALL FEET FIT CUTE FACE
>feel bad about myself
>think about the moid user who wrote it
>realize chances are i wouldn't want to fuck him or touch him at all
Quite a bruh moment for me. Yes, all moids have insane preferences I don't fit. But why do I care even about the opinion of moids I don't like? The ugliest most gingerest manlet 50 year old could be like "hurr I want a short curvy latina", and my brain would go "noooooooo I don't fit those requirements!!". It's fucking retarded of me. Especially the age thing often feels like a punch in the gut, at 26 I'm now at an age where some guys my own age are looking for younger. It's such a weird feeling I didn't think I'd experience until like 40. It just feels absurd, like I wouldn't fuck 90% of males out there. Yet I mentally torture myself with this shit.
Unlike moids, I actually want to connect with and be able to relate to my partner. The young ones don't have life experience, don't know what they want yet, stuff like that. I just want to settle down.
Though there's this 19 year old who's been after me since he was 15 kek, he recently texted me "hey I'm 19 now" as if I'd been waiting for him to become old enough. It doesn't matter that he's cute because in my eyes that's literally a child.
Most older men don’t have life experience either other than sexual experience. Any experiences they do have they don’t learn from them or remember them. There is no difference between a 19 year old and a 25 year old
>I want to settle down
Most men 25-35 don’t want to settle down unless they are ugly or poor or the woman is extremely extraordinary in some way. If you actually want to settle down unfortunately you’re going to have to go after the 50+ age range.
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Around 2:30 AM, I heard a some commotion outside my house (some guy yelling, speeding cars). I woke up to my mom telling me that near our neighbor's house 1) there had been a crash 2) a man was shot to death. wtf man
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All my life, I've been waiting for a good time.
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I’ve been working 50+ hour week at work for months now and it’s still not enough. Every paycheck is for rent, bills, gas or food. Whats left goes towards student loans. I’m feel like I can’t escape this situation. I can’t work my way out of this no matter how hard I try. The jobs don’t pay enough, the rent is never cheap enough. I started crying at the grocery store because I’m just surviving on beans and rice, and ramen at this point. No new clothes, can’t go out to eat, can’t go to the movies or even the fucking museum. I just want it to get better.
this is really unscientific but i think a lot of us just have weaker skin around the anus so are more prone to this kind of thing. i get hemorrhoids all the time despite not having been constipated in years, i really think the skin there is just thin and prone to damage tbh.
also exercise might be making it worse? i get more hemorrhoids when im doing lots of walking every day
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TYSM I literally needed this. I hate being baby coddled with Ana thoughts and this slap of reality was good.
Also other girls afraid to be ana chan again, do what I just did and scroll through the ED threat in snow. Never felt so good to eat before
Yes, I work an office job and I sit all day.>>1480645
It's so cringe because none of my sisters suffer from this, but my dad does. But that is an interesting theory. >>1480647
No, but I'm now thinking about it. What would they even say or do? It's obviously fissures.
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you're welcome nonny
♥ I posted it to bump the raid off. here's a candy for you
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we are in this together
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>Be sad in a huge city full of people because most of them have families/friends/a partner and it constantly reminds me of how lonely I am
>Be sad in a small city because of small population with few opportunities to meet someone new and where everyone keeps to their own circle
I wish I wasn't so retarded
Thank you nonny
! I really need to stop moping and start putting myself out there
>>1480488>at 26 I'm now at an age where some guys my own age are looking for younger
Anon, trust me, you do not want to do anything with those types of guys.
yes there are now many of them because of red pill coaches bullshit but relationship with those sort of guys is hell even when you are younger.
t. 29 year old who was once a 22 year old in a relationship with a 28 year old piece of shit moid who was looking for "younger women" who could tolerate his bullshit
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Just two more months….I can do it….I'll survive
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>Read about shittok music drama
>Go on it to see what the hell they're talking about
>Posers whining about gatekeeping goth/metal/"everything must be inclusionary and accessible to everyone!" Sexualizes women of subculture they'll never be a part of
>Find hottest man I have ever seen in my life
>He's a troon supporting, misogynist, edgy, gore watching, zoomer thirst trapper
This is worse than when I went down a rabbit hole and found a whole community of twitter pedo/gore artists from basic anime art. Males should be kept in cages and beaten for breathing if they can't act right, I'm growing more and more misandric by the day. Night ruined all because we like the same genre of music
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100+ dollars, pregnancy. I have nothing against it but drawing it reminds me of the fact that I'm infertile and will never be able to have children, and despite me putting "female characters in bad situations" as my "Nos" there's an uncomfortable amount of maledom and situations that are morally gray in it. I'm in too deep that refunding and scraping it would be a waste.
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I hate myself.
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I get scared that my social anxiety makes people see me as an "angry black woman". It's happened to me multiple times, when sometimes assumes I'm angry or upset when in I actually just feel anxious or introverted. Sometimes I'm not even anxious but I'm just quiet because that's who I naturally am. When I talk and engage with someone I seem more kind, but of course I sometimes have to be more straightforward and that sticks out more to people than everything else I say and do. I just don't know the art of being blunt but gentle. It's like I have to be cheerful and constantly chatty all the time for people to not think I'm angry and that's just not who I am.
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I have enough money to leave home
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>>1480941>9 pages>100 dollarsnonnie
tell me you aren't fucking serious lmao
Fuck. I figured because my art isn't good I should charge like 11 per page, + and extra 2 dollars per page for each character added along with an extra fee for complex backgrounds. Don't tell me I've been giving myself extremely depressive thoughts over drawing maledom pregnancy porn for cheap. I just wanted to scrounge up some disposable cash for a new video game coming out next month and a figurine.>It sounds like you're spending a lot of time on this, too….
An uncomfortable amount, worse part I don't know if it's polite to draw other stuff while working on commissions so I haven't been able to draw what I actually like at all while working on this.
All I can do is hope other people see it too, I guess. It's frustrating. A few days ago I posted something positive that happened to me and she immediately made it about her sob story, so everyone in chat ignored what I said and kissed her ass instead.>>1481095>woe is me pity party
This is exactly it.
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Having an extremely slow and subtle mental health crisis for the past month or so. I keep spiraling. Not having any extreme emotions, just pure burnt out nothingness. I freelance and haven’t worked in 2 weeks by choice. I was on a roll and then my internet went down for like 3 days and it killed all of my momentum. I keep making excuse after excuse. I’m also in school and humiliated myself by doing an assignment incorrectly because I can’t focus in class. At this point idk which of my 20 mental illnesses are causing this. As a self employed person I don’t have insurance, I can afford a basic doctor and meds but not a psych. So all I can do is ask for pills and hope they work. I’m starting Prozac again next week… If this doesn’t help idk what to try next. I think I’m going to quit weed too. Idk send me good healing vibes or whatever <3
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Realized how much the shift lead I dislike resembles pixielocks and now I dislike her even more
>self diagnosed autist
>believes she’s autist due to TikTok
>makes backhanded comments in a “joking” way
>does fuck all during her shifts (asks others to do her tasks, is on her phone or conveniently disappears when it’s busy)
>blames it on being autistic
>BPD rage whenever things don’t go her way
>cries that she’s being bullied when enough people complained to management about her
>kept her job, but still is an insufferable bitch to everyone around her
>straight up looks like her
I’m compiling a list of fucked up comments she’s made to hopefully bring to managements attention again, and a bunch of the new hires are annoyed with her too so hopefully they’ll do something about her this time.
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Last night I heard the dogs in the neighborhood barking up a storm. Usually it because of the stray cats we get walking around since my mom likes to feed them, turns out there was a person prowling around the front of our house at 1AM.The ring camera detected movement but we couldnt see anyone because of the angle. This happened yesterday night and I’m still on edge right now. All I can think about is creepy ring recordings of moids trying to break into peoples houses
Hold me anons!!
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I still hold a small grudge over the fact that my s/o thinks it's selfish that I get sad and anxious during Christmas (not in public of course) because every Christmas reminds me that nobody cares about me here, and his family will never want to get closer to me or get to know me, when all i have are my grandparents who i haven't seen for 3 years. I always put so much effort into gifts and I am extremely lonely, can't even find IRL friends because of my chronic disease. Idk i feel like an asshole for almost fighting with him over it but goddammit, are my feeling really invalid? I know people will never understand that unless they themselves escape their country and have no chance of seeing your family for a long time. Idk nonnas, i am so tired. Every time I try explaining to anyone nobody gives a shit. Are my feelings about it really that invalid? I really don't get it.
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I meet a really nice and sweet anon trough the friend finder thread but then I got overwhelmed with work so I didn't reply to her for a while. I did get back to her but now she hasn't replied to me in months and I feel so sad. I wish I hadn't ghosted her in the first place because she was really sweet and I want to continue our conversation
I am just like you nonacita (minus the GL). Would drop my contact info if I didn't have a hard time keeping up with things online. Maybe someday our paths will cross again!>>1480127>watching
Many of us are artists/writers honing our skills doesn't matter if it's not for you.
fuck i feel you nonnie
. i just want to sperg about degen content and problematic
ships, fics and hcs with other fujos who aren't dumbass pickmes and/or ftms. i feel like many of them exist but they're impossible to get in touch with.
nta but ghosting is a 2 way street. so many anons (and people in general) have stupid "don't message first" policies that put the responsibility on the other person to initiate conversation. it's annoying because if you're trying to befriend someone both
parties need to make an effort. not to say that happened to you, but if anons never initiated conversation after you stopped, it's also on them.
She did it again. I'm going insane.
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Nonnies, I fucking hate this Assignment, but I legit do not get it.
I'm about to ask 4chan to do it for me, or at least guide me because if I do not submit the thing, I will LITERALLY fail my class. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
hi anon. i used to be on cymbalta and it worked pretty well until it didnt. i was terrified of anything worsening if i kept on it, not to mention a year into cymbalta i slipped into a short drug addiction im now sober from. so i just wanted to cleanse myself, including from cymbalta which i know wasnt smart and the brain zaps lasted forever. it was months before they stopped and i finally felt happy again. i was doing well. but slowly these thoughts have been coming back, and its reaching a peak these past two weeks where i feel unable to let it pass as usual. i have therapy twice a month and i eat clean, mostly sleep enough, and get a decent amount of exercise which could be improved. i engage with coping skills and do my therapist’s homework but yet its like im trying for no reward toward the end. lately i compulsively browse imageboards or subreddits dedicated to my specific shithole job which makes me hurt more. i look at myself in the mirror and cry for hours, i ruminate about my future. meditation helps but its hard to be consistent with it when the urge to be gone is more pressing. deep down i dont want it but i find it hard to continue living when im pushing with no reward. i know i sound ungrateful but its my mind and the hurt that i really wish wasnt here. my dreams are so out of reach, im so fearful and struggling financially while still living in a very abusive household. i feel stuck but im fearful because im unsure what to do with my degree and how to afford leaving my home life and how ill land a good job in between it all. i have childish dreams of sailing and being with animals so lately i just sleep and feel safe and happy when i dream of them. but then reality comes full force…and im miserable at my job, im lonely, im happy thato nline classes gives me freedom but i have no money or things to do outside of the room ive now become physically sick of. i try not to compare my life anymore, but its more so feeling delusional because i cant be happy. i want to think i deserve that. i havent done bad things, but i want to feel safe and secure and okay. like im okay, and things are okay or will be okay. but ti feels like im walking blindly into something that wont ever get better.
i also have cptsd, depression, anxiety disorder, and past eating disorder. ive wondered about pmdd (its been suggested) or even autism or bipolar but im nervous to assess these things as i dont know how much it would help me, and above all i just want peace and to be away. anyway i mention this to give insight. i take vyvanse and supplements, the vyvanse really is good for me so long as im not suicidal (it makes me ruminate more) and so long as i eat (i can get a bit sad and have to nap once it wears off). i used to take ativan which helped my anxiety but as things got better i cut it entirely for months and felt nice still. but started abusing it a couple of days ago again.
i worry about being remedicated because how it could make me gain weight or stunt my creativity or make me entirely emotionless. cymbalta was nice but i felt stunted sometimes and it didnt work forever, i know they dont, but what if this all happens again? is cymbalta worth trying if its just going to be more of a waste of time than not being here anymore?
sorry. thank you for reading
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How can I stop being jealous that my siblings got a better childhood than me? Does anyone have experience with this? Thanks
Nonas I need to share this because I feel like this is the only place I think I can.
So I’m working in a sexist-ish european country. The old men have that benign sexism going on, the younger ones can be like “so women want equality but they -“. There’s a certain line they don’t cross. So today a coworker i get on with alright was saying ah you guys need to watch some womens athletic sports, the uniforms are great etc etc, implications clear. 3 men and myself and I didn’t say anything. I was googling how to deal with sexism in the workplace and sort of hyping myself up to say something, because i can generally speak my mind with this coworker. Later on when I was alone with him i started to say it, i said earlier when you were saying that stuff…and it got caught in my throat. I just started to shake my head, eventually choked out that I didn’t think it was appropriate and he apologised. But it was like the floodgates opened for me. I figured if I distracted myself with my work the tears welling up would go away, but once a few started falling i put my stuff away and made away to the bathrooms because obviously i needed to have a little cry. What i got instead was full on choking sobs for i don't know how long, I couldn’t stop. Like it wasn’t just about what my coworker said, it was about all the comments at work. Whenever someone said something like that I would tut or roll my eyes or dismiss it vocally, but it’s absolutely not the same as directly saying to someone in all seriousness that it’s not ok to do. I came out of that bathroom 1.5 hours later. I wish i could say I feel better having done it but I don’t. I’m typing this out on the commute home with a steady stream of tears.
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???? I'm freaking out, I need 1% to pass. This has been harder than the final.
If you haven't, please tell him it's very important to you he clean up after himself. Give him the upside to this; if he keeps the area clean while you're not around, when you are around you won't have to be so stressed and you're able to fully focus on doing fun things together.
I had to do this with my bf recently. I repeated myself I think about three days in a row to let it get to his head.
Moids can't read minds and asking him to help you often should give him a sense to feel needed and important. Because it's either he simply help clean or you eventually have a mental breakdown from being overwhelmed from all the things you're dealing with.
It's his choice to witness a happier, calmer you or a you that can barely give him attention because you're too busy and exhausted.
Thank you nona, my friends were telling me I shouldn't say anything because I had a hard time even being liked in this team, but I couldn't shake the feeling I should. At least the one I spoke to apologised and didn't put it on me, I'm sorry you had that reaction.
And god, it IS hard. It's really really hard, and so much harder than kind of dismissing them in a way that makes it easy for them to dismiss you. I thought I found a middle ground between oppressed silence and being a pariah. But integrating my disapproval into the conversations vibe just makes them think there's no real consequence or harm in saying these things. Now that I've had a few hours to calm down I'm kind of proud of myself too (and you, nona).
I have bunions on both feet but mine don't hurt. I'm also a ballet dancer since childhood so I have no idea why I've got no pain (I've got ankle issues tho). I've considered trying to get one of those alignment tools to fix the bone and make my feet look prettier but it seems like too much effort so I've just left em alone.
Unless they hurt then I don't think it's a big deal. Especially if you aren't active in a sport then it should be fine.
Same anon; sorry I missed the part where you said it hurts. >>1481451
Go to a podiatrist anon and get some Dr Scholls shoes or arch/foot inserts to wear. Take care of yourself anon!!!
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Everytime I say I won't go out without a sports bra but every now and again I mess up. Fuck chaffed nips and I'm not even home yet.
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It's too tragic. My life has been fucked since day 1. If I didn't have a cat I would off myself honestly.
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is it possible to live as a free spirit and just do side jobs or multiple hobbies than can pay or something? how do some girls do this? im okay with finishing my degree but i really would love to move to a new area and explore and be able to do everything i dream of while supporting myself. i always wonder what these girls do, the ones that dont have to work or pay bills, it seems so lovely. but maybe im comparing too much. maybe i should keep trying to do what i love, do my college courses and freelance so i can quit this terrible job and someday save up to move, sooner than later. and id be so happy and with peace and i can get a decently paying service job if needed or just do side gigs for a bit until it maybe doesnt work out. no hurt in trying if i go with savings. then i can have my bachelors! i can truly take my time on it. why am i rushing? why am i worrying and hurting myself for feeling weak and scared? its so simple isnt it. just do and dont think, quit the job and freelance or work on a cruise ship or something and save up, work on your degree, move and have freedom and peace and places to explore and find a better job if needed and do all of your artwork and be so happy! it can be possible right? maybe i should start these goals while im living at home anyway. start allowing myself to do what i love again. deal with the job as needed and be thankful for the money and do my best in my courses and since im lonely i have plenty of time to work on writing and crafts and music and explore nature and take sailing courses and then finally i can leave the job and maybe move and finish my degree inbetween and use my savings while job searching get a nice little place even with an old lady roommate and id just work less than 40 hours making ends meet and id get a pet dog and go boating and wed go on hikes and id finally be happy. id finally be so happy if it all came true! i just need to make a plan maybe. somewhere to start. a written dream plan.
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Stop making me leave my fucking house!!!!!!!
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Last week my husband threw a brick at a tiny baby raccoon and squished it
I literally can't get over it. That was unnecessarily cruel. Just leave it and it will find its way out of the yard on its own, it doesn't deserve to die a violent death being squished by a brick.
I know I'm a softie. I cried every day this week thinking about it. I can't get the image out of my head. I think about the poor mother raccoon looking for her baby and finding it squished under a brick. It was so tiny, just bigger than a can of beans
And the worst part is my husband was laughing about it. He literally didn't have to do that. It's not funny. Just leave it alone, or hoist it out of the yard with a shovel or something, or call the animal service or LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE EXCEPT KILLING IT WITH A BRICK OF ALL THINGS
I hope raccoons don't have feelings