File: 1674098818630.jpg (151.43 KB, 1295x847, Salem-the-cat.jpg)
No. 1476492
Vent it out.
Previous thread:
>>>/ot/1467923 No. 1476506
>>1476504I just truly believed him. We used to read about how prostitutes have 4 times ptsd than veterans, how most of porn is trafficked, etc. Told me he doesnt watch it.
I feel so stupid now. Why would he lie to me all this time? Why not be honest?
I dont understand
No. 1476657
File: 1674126523154.jpg (37.43 KB, 720x600, 9qz3bidhmwb21.jpg)
i'm dumb, i decided to study something that's known to be very difficult and now am upset at the fact it is in fact difficult.
you're supposed to study for 8 hours on top of classes every day but i'm already burnt out just doing my assignments/preparing for class, i don't know how i'm supposed to add even more studying on top. and now i'm behind on everything. and i can't even catch up during the holidays because we essentially don't have any - like, in theory we do, but we have to fit several internships and seminar papers in there.
I currently have to apply for two more internships but i keep procrastinating on that because i have all this other shit to do.
next semester i have more exams waiting for me and the semester after that preparation for the bar exam starts, which is even more stressful than the "regular" amount of studying i have to do right now and i feel dead inside every time i'm reminded of that.
i'm actually procrastinating by writing this, please someone tell me to go back to my assignment so i don't waste even more time
No. 1476771
>>1476759It’s really hard to go against the trend/mob. Were you the last one to introvert yourself?
>grad schoolPlease say you’re in America.
No. 1476777
>>1476773The first day of my alternative school (that wasn't even in a school btw, it was in some weird ass gargage/small warehouse hybrid), one of the boys stole a teachers purse, a boy fought this 60 year old "Leader" dude.
The lady I'm talking about also got her ass beat by the owner of the school's daughter who was her best friend, in front of the students. She then went to cry in the bathroom. I also remember the owners daughter telling me and another girl (She was high school aged as well) that, "Blank and her boyfriend are both dirty people, thats why her breath stank because her and her boyfriend are dirty".
The school was a mess. Grown ass men sleeping with the students, everyone knowing it but we were all groomed to not take it seriously. Students fighting the staff, spoending the night with staff, smoking/drinking and remind you were 12/13 at that time.
No. 1476787
>>1476771yes, i go to the
>best public university in the countryand yeah, i was one of the last so i felt exceptional pressure to conform to the mob. honestly it felt like a ritual the way one by one everyone would say their pronouns, completely insane. but i felt so much relief after not saying them
No. 1476919
>>1476911Well, I am right at the end of my period and I was incredibly bloated yesterday. So that is probably affecting my feelings towards myself atm (kind of warped my image of myself and what I see in the mirror incredibly so I don't know what is real or not anymore), though I get like this mayhaps every 6 months where I start to revel in self hatred and hating my body to a point where I'm crying.
Though on the bright side, I'm probably finally going to get some help with my joint pains this spring so I can start hitting the gym, so that will probably help me in the long run.
No. 1477045
File: 1674163744257.png (21.91 KB, 99x128, Quieres.png)
>dad's an alcoholic + heavy smoker
>got diagnosed with cancer in 2018 (related to xanax)
>recently (like a week ago? a few weeks?) been talking about suicide, murder, etc. while drunk
>he's said crazier, stupider, uglier shit in the past so
>just ignore it
>but know he got a gun recently (found it while digging through storage)
>anyway
>get a call from my mom today where she's talking all sadly about snooping through his phone (lol) and discovering a text where he admitted to being "scared" (she is vague)
>links it back to his diagnosis though – "nona he's probably sad because of his illness :("
>start putting shit together in my head
>holy shit. he's suicidal, he's gonna kill himself.
>have a two hour long talk
>speak on his addictions, dance around the point because i try to leave him to his own shit (he's a grown fucking man).
>gave up on talking about his addictions years ago because he never goddamn learns but now i'm scared
>anyway, lose my temper and blurt it out:
>"i'm worried that you're suicidal because of your cancer diagnosis worsening!"
>get laughed at + talked down + learn the message was just another attempt at seeming deep basically
>now they're both treating me like i'm crazy and irrational
am i crazy and irrational? what the fuck i hate them both
i mean i love them of course but they're so fucking frustrating as people
No. 1477061
File: 1674164971309.jpg (39.03 KB, 736x736, fba29e6f37f2d41d29bf283c818e30…)
I know I sound pathetic because moids suck but I just want to be kissed and held ahhhhhh
No. 1477067
File: 1674165620672.jpg (166.14 KB, 1080x1080, 1596343947623.jpg)
I've been alone for so long now with imageboards being my only form of socialization that making friends (even online) is really hard. Being anonymous rotted my brain and I forget that you can't just say whatever you want. I can't just close the thread if I fuck up. And I have to accept that you can be friends and still have different views, whereas I'm used to circlejerking with anons (where we probably sucked each others pussy in one thread and called each other retarded whores in another). I keep getting kicked out and banned from forums, Discord servers, online games and communities.
I don't know if it's autism but I feel so fake pretending and feel like other normal people are super fake the way they socialize. Like how women will literally marry a pro-life moid, or be besties with someone who thinks trannies should be allowed in our bathrooms. I tried befriending someone online, we had opposite views on Covid 19. She said we just shouldn't talk about it because we disagreed. But how can I be true and honest friends with someone who thinks I should be forcibly injected and banned from leaving my home? And how can she be true and honest friends with someone (me) who thinks forced vaccination is evil, when she believes it saved us all from disease and death? Isn't that very fake of us?
No. 1477084
>>1477072Samefag, to add on to this: I can understand
why my friends are okay with troons. It doesn't mean that I agree with them or support troons, it just means that I like my friends and I can empathize with them and understand their point of view. It's not a dealbreaker for me unless they're way too obnoxiously vocal about it. I love my friends and I can overlook their naivete, because I know they are not bad people and are simply supporting troons precisely because they are kind people. I still hate trannies and my mind won't change but I love my friends.
No. 1477086
>>1477072>>1477084You're right. Maybe friendship is more about enjoying each others company and having a laugh. I'm just thinking about like, if shit were to go down. If you have a pro-life friend and you suddenly want an abortion. Or a tranny takes your place in a womens team and your trans ally friend think that's perfectly fine.
>>1477080People like me one on one. In group settings, people either really like me or really hate me. And lots of online communities have very strict rules. There's a reason why you're posting here and not on Facebook.
No. 1477090
File: 1674167438564.jpg (21.5 KB, 275x240, 1657828678516.jpg)
I feel trapped and scared. I'm an agoraphobic hikki with untreated bipolar, my parents forced me to get a degree on teaching and now i want to die, i don't know what to do. I can barely handle short conversations with people, i don't even have friends, i don't even talk to my family, how could i handle a whole ass classroom full of kids/teenagers? 24/7?????? I'm not cut to do this, i'm the worst person to do this job but i'm too far into it already. I just wanted to learn English for fucks sake
No. 1477094
>>1477086>I'm just thinking about like, if shit were to go down. If you have a pro-life friend and you suddenly want an abortion. Or a tranny takes your place in a womens team and your trans ally friend think that's perfectly fine.It's
valid to have these concerns, but I think you are thinking way too far ahead of yourself. There are some friends you don't confide in, there are friends you know you can confide in. I have some friends that I haven't told about being gender critical, there are some friends that I have. It depends on how much you trust them. It's okay to not trust a friend 100% or to tell a friend everything that happens in your life or every one of your opinions. Those friends are maybe there for chatting about hobbies or for doing things with and maybe not for telling them your deepest darkest secrets or sad personal things. That is okay, it's just the nature of relationships. Some relationships are more intimate and secure and some relationships are a bit more "superficial". Not to say that a friend who judges you for getting an abortion is a good friend to have, those are examples in which it is
valid to distance yourself from them or cut them off.
I guess I just want to tell you to get into friendships with a positive mindset. Making friends is hard, you don't need those niggling doubts to weigh you down.
No. 1477101
>>1477089Makes me wonder how many normies have no true friends.
>>1477094Thank you queen, you're cool. Also agree with
>>1477098 I'll try not to be so intense. Some friendships just come and go and it's not that serious, I guess. Like traveling different places and just enjoying the journey.
>>1477088Agree. Even the bitch who keeps calling Shaynas dog retarded.
No. 1477115
File: 1674169675129.jpg (442.22 KB, 1656x1242, 1672770838873004.jpg)
I can't even read in a waiting room without a moid checking me out or sitting near me. I had to literally get up and move to a chair further away. I'm there to manage a health condition not to be a waiting room slut. Fuck moids.
No. 1477127
File: 1674171352670.jpeg (42.33 KB, 321x420, D5341AF7-37C2-483C-B3DC-6C95CB…)
>>1477122My face looks a little wider to me, I’m starting to see slight…idk, jowls? I used to think Pam from The Office looked a little “jowly” and now I’m starting to see that on my formerly thin face (picrel, autistic arrows included). A little bit of crow’s feet when I smile, too. I’ve always had a smaller, B-cup chest but was okay with it because “hey, at least they’re perky!” but I’m starting to notice they’re a little saggier and lower too. I also just have a general feeling of being invisible when I go out in public. I don’t have as many men coming up to talk to me anymore (which is kind of a relief), but I also don’t get random compliments on my outfits or conversations from other women in public anymore. Sometimes when I see zoomers having fun I think “oh look, there’s some girls my age!” and then immediately remember that I’m probably 10 years older than them and they’d think I’m old and weird. Like “aw man, I used to be them! That used to be me and my friends!” So I guess it’s partially physical, and partially mental but it feels kind of lonely. It sounds dumb, but I miss being “one of the hot girls in the room”. I don’t know how to explain it
No. 1477169
>>1477127i felt like this at first too and sometimes still do, but mostly these days i feel relieved to no longer have all that pressure. so much mental capacity has been freed up for better things. i dont intend to let myself go, i still eat well, stay active, dress cute and do skincare. i never really liked attention much anyway but i felt that biological drive to find a scrote so there was this pressure to look good and stuff. it took some getting used to that guys will no longer have crushes on me, im no longer one of the prettier girls in a given space, younger people i work with think im old and treat me like a retarded boomer even tho im only 30…after a period of grieving i now enjoy it. older women are so amazing anyway. i like being a protective older experienced woman that can advocate for the younger girls at work when scrotes try to take advantage of them or push them around.
it helps that i did snag a decent scrote, he's slightly older than me so he doesnt even notice yet the aging that i notice in myself.
No. 1477189
File: 1674178852783.jpg (198.51 KB, 900x1183, Tumblr_l_169189616791811.jpg)
I went out with a friend today and we passed a lot of teenagers who were on a school trip. We both had this realisation that we don't miss being teenagers at all. People always talk about missing their teen years but I can't feel the same way. I'm 21 now so it wasn't so long ago but when I think about being a teen, it's like my heart sinks and I'm back in this terrible lost feeling. That's all I remember, this strong feeling of being lost and not knowing how to get anywhere or do anything. Constantly looking to others, constantly reflecting on past actions and being embarrassed, constantly hating myself. I hated myself so much, and I know many teens feel that way. It was so overwhelming for me. Every action of mine was preceded by my hatred for myself, the discomfort I felt in my body. Every good memory I have is overshadowed by how sad I was deep down. It's all such a blur. I was so sheltered, my parents were overprotective and I missed out on many fun times because I was too sensible and afraid of making any mistakes. I've realised I might be on the spectrum and am going to get assessed for it, and looking back I feel very sad for my younger self. It took so long for me to be okay with myself, to feel any clarity about myself and to feel comfortable in my skin. I self-harmed, I tried to kill myself. I don't remember being happy much at all in all those years. I don't completely understand myself, who does, but I'm the happiest I've ever been now and I truly feel like I've figured a good amount of myself out. I like myself now, I know who I am, I like who I am. I'm a lot busier in life now with a lot more responsibilities and it's stressful but it will never be as difficult as feeling so overwhelmingly alone and confused in all my teen years. I actually feel alive now. In some way I wish I could reminisce and feel fondly about my teen years but at least I have now.
No. 1477191
File: 1674179407355.jpg (17.79 KB, 275x155, 1648516636299.jpg)
I made the mistake of checking out a community of a show. This isn't really something I do a lot. And, wow, the same discourse is happening post-end as it was years ago about how terrible of a person a female character is over the pettiest shit or making out small actions to be secretly deceptive and shit like it. It's crazy. At least some people were questioning their text walls of conspiracy theories.
No. 1477204
>>1477197That's what I expect people miss about it, yeah. I get that part of it.
>>1477200I'm glad you've grown into yourself too anon, I hope things continue looking up for you!
No. 1477270
>>1477266What did you do
nonnie?
No. 1477342
File: 1674207516694.jpg (56.51 KB, 800x533, elderly-woman-years-old-peeps-…)
Sometimes I get sad that I've got no more friends left, but then I remember that I used to suround myself with fucked up losers ( like I used to be ) and I'm actually better off without them. On the other hand I'm having a hard time connecting with the healthy well adjusted people around me, they're just not as fun and we have very little similar core experiences. I guess I'm destined to die friendless. If I have to become a lonely old lady I promise I'll spend all my days spying on the local scrotes through my windows.
No. 1477353
File: 1674209708460.png (2.14 MB, 1024x1024, DALL·E 2022-12-06 13.29.50 - O…)
>>1477301Just wanted to vent about the same thing. I'm so freaking tired and the assignments just keep on piling on. I feel like my brain isn't working as it's supposed to. I can't read without feeling stressed and can't concentrate on any text lately. I used to be amazing at learning languages but now that I need to study one language for my internship, my brain just gave up and I can't even remember the vocabulary. Maybe it's the age, maybe it's the overwhelming tiredness that makes me wanna vomit. I have so many final exams coming up. I get home from whatever shit I have that day and fall into a tired lazy void. Weird thing is that happy videos and even commercials make me tear up lately because I wish so hard I could just take a long break and do dumb happy childish things.
No. 1477410
File: 1674222619399.jpeg (310.73 KB, 960x540, 0E275BD9-1F7B-4769-9602-E32FB1…)
>have mental breakdown during the holiday
>run away from live-in bf to stay with family
>taking leave from job to check in to a mental hospital
>no appetite from the stress of everything going on, probably lost another 10 pounds in the span of 1.5 months
>kind of like the feeling of withering away
>now i have a fucking ED i guess but not because i want control or to look different, i just want to exist as little as possible
how did i manage to fuck up my life this much in such a small span of time. i say fuck up but like things are changing and once i get out of the facility i will be better + i can go back to my job. and my bf is waiting for me because he knows i’m fucked up and need help. at least i’m getting treatment but i feel like such a fucking dumbass. it makes sense that i finally snapped though, i could feel it coming for years. i am a fucking red flag i hate it here
No. 1477419
Someday I will fucking stab my brother. I have Nutella once after a few months not having any sweets and then he tells everyone in the family that I'm binge eating Nutella all day long or something like that, so then everyone starts sermoning me about eating better.
Like bitch, I've been feeling sick all of these days, I've been telling the maid to make soup for me for dinner every night because I feel like my head will explode, I can't even get up of the bed because I have a terrible headache, my stomach is all sorts of fucked for no reason and I feel like I'm feverish.
Do you really fucking think I want to eat anything?
Then he's like "you were doing amazing with the dieticians plan and now you're fatter" okay so? I've been following the diet properly, you're the one that keeps whining because you can't handle eating eggs more than once a week, you can't eat anything without at least some carbs around, you just workout more because you can drive and actually leave the house and do whatever the fuck you want because no one can tell you what to do or you will start whining.
I just want to kill myself, that will make everyone happy, my family won't need to feed my fatass, they won't need to pay for my education anymore, or health stuff or anything else, they will be fine without me.
No. 1477420
File: 1674224262876.jpg (27.12 KB, 432x432, 52608f47436b235524d841d866f464…)
I hate that this pathetic moid still lives rent free in my mind because he ghosted me and it bruises my ego so much but at least I came across some good ass music recently while trying to get over it.
No. 1477438
>>1477182Lel this is the complete opposite for me I've gotten more attention slightly older than late teens because I looked like a retard when I was younger, didn't know how to dress, didn't groom myself half decent, wasted money on shit skin care etc.
Anons fixated about age when they're only a couple of years older than the zoomers they seem to be meekly intimidated by for being uncontrollably born chronologically after them and coveting at the age of 30 is black pilling me though about the future, bleak. The post asking anon if they're white is kek though. 'Invisibility with age' occurs with all people moids inclusive. Society covets youth and decries aging. Moids experience a fraction of this but be emboldened by the fact that everyone will be your age at some point in their lives. Talents, skill and the legacy in your work all 'age well' barring Alzheimer's lol.
No. 1477450
>>1477438I think, being the dreaded 30 yr old, its all a gamble of genes and habits/ lifestyle. I am a late bloomer, but I also work hard meet my goals/ self care. Some kids from high school aged horribly, but were the hottest as seniors.
Some geeks I knew had a glow up too! My best friend looks 40, but she was hot in her 20s. Its all a gamble.
No. 1477472
File: 1674229898713.jpg (57.45 KB, 564x809, 099262c6694c2af5a43d33ef324577…)
No one gets how much insomnia affects me. When I say I can't sleep, it's not only getting 5 hours, it's getting at most 2 hours of sleep a night for weeks. I shouldn't be driving, but I have to, and it scares me. I know I'm going to fuck up so much at work today. Medical professionals don't take me seriously; I've reported being unable to sleep at all for over 72 hours and "doctor's orders" was to sleep with socks on. I could have gotten a better remedy for my ailment from a shaman. This has been ruining my life for over 6 years. Despite inefficacy and getting tardive dyskinesia (involuntary facial movement) from antidepressants, that's all I've ever been prescribed for my insomnia. I understand the hesitation with prescribing something stronger, but, like, what am I supposed to do at this point? I can't function in society like this. They won't even give me a night's worth of something so I can get through until tomorrow.
No. 1477483
>>1477477I feel that so much
nonny! I hope things will get better for us eventually.
No. 1477554
>>1477465Yeah but sometimes I enjoy being a bitter cunt, though.
Nonnie, you still have a personality. I don't know why people say that when they're depressed. Losing interest in stuff doesn't mean you're losing your personality. You can still be interesting and multifaceted, you've still got shit to say and your own opinions/way of being.
No. 1477612
>>1477605I would use chatgpt to generate an answer to that kek
People like that are so exhausting, it screams of main character syndrome. Especially when you're not that close it's so weird.
No. 1477615
File: 1674241555226.jpg (83.15 KB, 538x525, 5ecmui9l2mn31.jpg)
>>1477605She watched Bojack Horsemen recently
No. 1477645
File: 1674243344575.png (610.59 KB, 1360x1338, o9UXrIr2.png)
I joined a self-improvement Discord server in hopes to find a group of women who'd like to form an accountability group, so we can keep track of our goals, set targets and motivate each other. Low and behold, all the people that responded to me are moids. I specifically asked for women only in my request. I don't know what I expected.
No. 1477725
File: 1674249214972.jpeg (102.75 KB, 640x853, C1EF971D-3084-40C2-B3E2-64FDCA…)
feeling really sad about women’s rights and the state of the world today nonnies. i hate that i’m attracted to men, i wish i could divest completely. it sucks so much knowing that the vast majority of men perpetuate the degradation and exploitation of women via porn, and that 95% of men i’m attracted to likely hold sexist beliefs even if they don’t realize it. i have been abused and raped and taken advantage of so many times. but still my heart remains open. i so desperately want to experience love, healthy sex, and partnership. but i love myself too much to settle for some sexist moid. what to do?
No. 1477735
File: 1674250560297.jpg (193.37 KB, 1582x2048, evil.jpg)
Suddenly remembered this one time a few years ago I went out to this seafood place to have birthday lunch with my mom. She invited her friend without telling me, and then I ended up paying for my own birthday lunch for the three of us. I'm still fucking mad about it. I wouldn't have been mad if it was just me and my mom (like how I wanted it to be), but to add insult to injury, I absolutely loathe this specific friend of hers. She's annoying as fuck and pulls some rude shit on my mom sometimes (like once my mom dropped something while taking it out of the car and her friend screamed at her) that is not acceptable to me, "best friend" or not. Who are you to yell at my mom? Don't pull that shit.
Another time, my dad tried to gently ask me if I could give my mom's friend a ticket to my college graduation. I flipped out over the phone and screamed at him. He knew I'd flip out and still had the audacity to ask (and told me later my mom asked him to ask because she knew I'd flip too). I did NOT let that stupid bitch have a ticket. I knew it wasn't going to be to celebrate, it was because there's a shopping outlet a near drive from my university and I knew it was just going to be an excuse for that bitch to go shopping. Even if I did get to have my moment in the sun with my family, I was hoping to take them around my college town because it's a really fun and lovely place and I wanted to share it with my parents… but we ended up going to the shopping outlet anyway and my mom called her friend to help her buy stuff. I was fucking mad. Also the bitch wouldn't have been able to come even if I was a doormat to let her come, we had to pack up shit from my dorm room to bring back home and there was no extra space in the car for her stupid ass.
During lockdown, my mom would go out to accompany her while she went grocery shopping. She said "she's lonely, she has no one with her!" Uh, that's not my problem. My problem is making sure you and dad stay the fuck home and don't catch covid. I don't care is that stupid bitch is lonely. She can fuck off and die for all I care.
I hate that bitch so fucking much. I try to be a good and pleasant daughter in front of my parent's friends, but I don't pull any of that shit in front of this lady. I have a permanent scowl on my face when I see her. She's going back abroad for a bit and I hope she gets stranded or her plane crashes. Fuck that bitch.
No. 1477740
>>1477612We used to be really close, like hang out daily, but shit happened. It's like finding out you're not as close as you think you are, you just bonded over suffering similarly. I'm not even close that more to my childhood best friend I'm still on good terms with. We just accept life gets in the way. I would never ask her why we're not close or if I was a good person. It's dumb.
>>1477648I think about the past often as well, but I'm similar to you. I deal with it alone. Sometimes I'll reach out to someone I'm currently close with to reminisce about me once possibly behaving in a way I'd find unfavorable, but I get over it.
No. 1477788
File: 1674256433692.png (488.75 KB, 425x602, restraining order anime girl.p…)
To this day, I'm still not over the fact that "friend zone" is even considered to be a real thing. How much ego do you need to have to create this concept it's insane
>Women are too kind and gently reject men by saying that they see them only as friend, clearing implying that they lack the physical attraction or important characteristics to be a good partner
>Men misinterpret completely the message and start thinking that they were too nice to them
>Men start to genuinely believe in the "friend zone" and that acting like alpha or sigma male will get them the girl next time
I think that all women should all collectively agree to just straight up call men ugly in order to reject them. That's the only way we can break the circle I believe
No. 1477795
File: 1674256765040.jpeg (31.86 KB, 275x255, 1652096245549.jpeg)
>>1476492i need religious/witchcraft/woowoo anons to pray on/manifest my scrote coworkers downfall. he's a deceitful passive aggressive thief but he's really good at manipulating everyone's perception and appearing like a goofy funny good guy meanwhile hes stealing their tips and stealing from the register and drank thousands of dollars of company alcohol in like 2 months and then lied abt it at the store meeting. he's also ridiculously condescending and antagonizes me and another girl with backhanded condescending remarks trying to make us feel bad because he's insecure and jealous of us. if I blow up at him i just look like the irrational bad guy because hes just an uwu innocent goofball with ADHD. he's a fucking idiot who obviously let being a ~gifted kid~ in a podunk nowheresville school 10 yrs ago get to his head, one of those dumbdumbs who doesnt realize theyre dumb and speaks on shit they know nothing about. he constantly butts into my conversations with others to input his retarded contributions that contribute nothing, just autistic infodumping half the time not even on subject. but god forbid i get tired of it, IM the bad guy. i literally am in a bind and cant do ANYTHING for the sake of my professionalism. today he condescended me in front of other employees and mansplained something abt MY skilled position that i already knew to me. hes a fucking waiter and has been all his life and needs to stay in his lane. i had to just silently seethe all shift listening to his annoying redditor voice and insane fakeass laugh schmoozing other employees all day so no one ever picks up on what a scumbag piece of shit loser he really is. meanwhile doing passive aggressive shit like leaving huge boxes of shit in the middle of the exit path for my venue all shift. I CAN'T RETALIATE OR SPEAK UP because thats the nature of his manipulation, to have perfect plausible deniability. ive confronted him firmly but politely before abt shit he does and he's extremely defensive, first defense is dismissing your feelings and concerns, second is squealing like a pig if you dont allow yourself to be brushed off and acting like you attacked him. how do you get around behavior like that without being readymade? that's why i need the help of spiritual anons in praying that he hangs himself with his own rope and SOON, because i cant take much more of his shit but i cant get away from him…
No. 1477799
File: 1674257058192.jpeg (579.24 KB, 1242x2129, ED748D96-7B8A-40CA-B41F-53B02A…)
>>1477788>I think that all women should all collectively agree to just straight up call men ugly in order to reject them. This sounds nice and all but then pic related happens. This is the first news article I saw, there's more like these.
No. 1477810
>>1477797Sorry I wasn't really being clear in my post. I guess I was refereing more toward the attitude that certain men have where they will seriously tell you that they are "stuck" in the friend zone, like they had any chance to begin with. They will resent to have treated a women with respect as a friend afterward if they don't end up dating her. The possibility that they are not good enough for her is impossible to imagine so they will just think that they were too nice/friendly. It's very different from the neutral and reasonable attitude that you described
>>1477799I was saying this more in joking tone because I think that some pushy dude just need to hear it in a very straighforward way but yeah you are right unfortunately
No. 1477835
File: 1674259502928.jpg (70.56 KB, 749x1133, 4c8516a7b21e215dbe8c0996593866…)
Nonnies PLEASE I NEED all of you to knock some sense into me. This one moid ghosted me out of nowhere after two months of non-stop communicating and I'm so preoccupied by it to the point where I keep messing up at work and barely sleeping. I just don't get it. We shared the same interests, same views (especially on kids and marriage), have the same friends (we met at a friend's party and saw each other many times in person), the chemistry was on point, we texted multiple times throughout the day every day for weeks and suddenly he stopped responding days ago even though he's online. PLEASE I NEED SOME TOUGH LOVE I AM GOING INSANE. Thank you.
No. 1477844
>>1477835Dear
nonnie, male attention is the most abundant resource on earth. You could go out and get a boyfriend in thirty minutes if you wanted to. Meanwhile, you're chasing some guy who isn't interested.
For most women, courtship is the only time in your life when you will be treated well. In exchange for six to eight months of loving words, gentle conversations, and a couple of dinners, you will then clean his house, bear his children, cook his dinner, manage his calendar and take control of his social obligations for the next forty years. He is getting an exchange that is undreamed of for women and all he has to do and show you a little love for a few months until you're hooked.
Baby girl, this one is not even doing that. Do not chase someone who doesn't want you, you're better than that.
No. 1477849
>>1477835Nonnie, you are SO much more worth it than some moid avoiding you and declining to give an answer to his responsibilities. Honestly he sounds like a POS who led you on thinking he'd get laid and when you didn't put out, he left. I'm sorry
nonnie, you deserve more.
No. 1477858
File: 1674261626044.jpeg (Spoiler Image,1.16 MB, 1170x1807, 04F878FC-ED1B-49B3-9A67-487BED…)
I was just shown this For Love and Lemons ad reel on Instagram and I scrolled down fast because for a second my brain genuinely interpreted it as cp. It starts with this creepy unnecessary zoom in on the models’ crotch, and they have her posing with her knees in, pigeon-toed, and awkwardly fidgeting with her hands and I swear they’re intentionally trying to make it look like a little girl. (It then shows the models’ full body for like a half-second and you can tell she’s an adult, and in the still frame it’s obvious she has woman hips) but the comments in the ad are all talking about how creepy it looks. I’m so sick of this loli/ddlg pandering shit
No. 1477870
File: 1674262821875.jpg (41.5 KB, 360x321, 1671321827313.jpg)
Well, I was wondering about how food affects me recently and it lead to me finding out that there's a pretty high chance I'm extremely intolerant to high-sulfur foods and I've been kind of being fucked up by them for years. Onion and garlic made me feel like death, but then I realized that it was more than that and I realized the one common thread between the stuff that makes me feel like shit was having high sulfur.
Perfectly explains why I felt my best when I didn't eat for several days or severely limited my diet–because it's so difficult to avoid it. I should be happy but I'm not, this is ridiculous.
No. 1477880
>>1477861i was fucken bitching about not wanting and she said they already accepted me and if i dont want it then she will pay for it. which is a load of bullshit because she keeps mentioning that because i work i can afford to pay for shit.
this shit is pissing me off so much.
No. 1477884
File: 1674264286200.jpg (106.96 KB, 741x876, D5_sl6SWkAAxD7I.jpg)
>>1477841>>1477844>>1477849Thank you nonnies!I really needed to be reminded of those things. I know it's obvious but it just sucks that I fell for it and actually had hope for this to turn into something.
>For most women, courtship is the only time in your life when you will be treated well. Ugh I think that was the thing for me. It felt so nice to have someone act like a gentleman and trying to get to know me instead of expecting me to put out. I felt like a human for once and not like an object. Silly of me to think he'd be any different.
No. 1477915
File: 1674268870788.jpg (90.74 KB, 750x1000, fposter,small,wall_texture,pro…)
While my bf has some good qualities I feel that the things that bug me about him over time outweigh those more each day. One of the biggest issues is that I feel like I'm his mom. And not only for him, but also for his OWN mother too.
He works full time and I work part time so apparently that means I lose and have to do everything around the house. I do literally 99% of the housework. (dishes, laundry, emptying trash, cleaning up surfaces, etc.). He just sits in his room playing video games, building legos, and watching netflix/tiktok. Never steps up to help with anything but acts “disappointed” if I forget something small like refilling the Brita pitcher.
I can see where he gets it from too. We live with his mom (it's cheap, we can't afford to move out right now). She literally lays in bed 24/7 watching tv or playing phone games. She is older and has pretty shaky hands so I get that certain tasks are hard but she just…doesn't care about herself. At all. She doesn't even change clothes for a week or two at a time even though me and my bf have brought it up gently to her.
I do all the cooking. I don't cook for them out of the kindness of my heart. I cook because I'm a grown fucking adult who takes care of myself. But my bf never cooks (he buys fast food if he's ever in charge of meals) and his mom just assumes I'm the personal chef who will make dinner every day. I don't say it lightly but it genuinely triggers something in me when she asks "what's for dinner" every fucking day. It's hard to explain. And she'll just sit at the kitchen table watching me cook waiting for dinner like a child and it's super awkward.
I don't know. The more I type the more I realize I really don't like being here, in so many ways. The main reason is I can't afford to easily move out at this time. If I move out I can't imagine how they'll take care of themselves, but that wouldn't be my problem anymore.
No. 1477937
>>1477933I wish I knew too nonna. It seems to be a constant no matter where you look. With a guy I used to date I learned to just fuck off when he tried to show me a tiktok (a red flag already) he had saved because he would invariable scroll through several "liked" videos of thirst traps and cosplay thots to get to it. You think your girlfriend wants to see that? Oblivious.
It's also funny because he claimed to be poly (even more massive red flag) and said he may want to date someone else to fulfill "needs" he wasn't getting with me. Those needs are pretty obvious to guess. It's also hilarious (well, in hindsight) that he couldn't even take care of one woman's needs that way so who knows how he thought he could do it with two. Needless to say that dude is past tense now. Made me pretty jaded going forward though, ngl.
No. 1477954
>>1477951I used to think like you when I was 16, but when I grew up I realized that it really IS that simple.
The people who matter don't care and the people who care don't matter.
No. 1477956
>>1477954>>1477947>The people who matter don't careThey do though. Even good people want attractive partners and everyone judges by looks. I feel you,
nonnie with the 20k. I've spent more than that on plastic surgery and fucking hate that I "had to". So many other things I'd love to spend that on, but more than material things, I want to feel attractive and loved. Not that males can love anyway kek.
No. 1477957
>>1477956> Even good people want attractive partners and everyone judges by looks.This is such nonsense. Nobody. Cares. People think about your looks for half a second and then they're talking to you and you build a relationship based on what comes out of your mouth and what you do.
The ugliest weirdest autists have good friends and romantic partners who love them to bits while tons of vapid plastic women go from one shit relationship to the next and are endlessly engulfed in drama without friends who actually know them or care about them, because plastic surgery doesn't cure mental illness and good relationships can only be built on good mental health.
No. 1477958
File: 1674274554035.gif (4.75 MB, 624x640, 1654560730467.gif)
>>1477957Yeah and also God, Santa Claus and the tooth fairy are real + trannies are women.
No. 1477960
>>1477958Enjoy your
victim status, but know that people like me will silently judge you everywhere.
No. 1477963
>>1477947you don't need to spend 10k on beauty, someone is lying to you. you're operating on troon logic.
spend it on therapy, it'll last longer.
No. 1477979
File: 1674276387802.jpg (68.64 KB, 564x587, ca9ee64d066707b7a39f7695d6a98b…)
I feel like everyone around me has been weirdly bitter. At first I just thought about it as an end of the year thing but nothing has changed this month.
No. 1478010
>>1477915I recommend just maybe slowly phasing out of doing a lot of the chores while you secretly make plans to move out. He just seems wretched, I'm sorry
nonny, I'm sure when you met him he didn't seem like he'd be like this.
No. 1478017
>>1477980Oh I'm definitely minding my business and not saying anything. I just mentioned the pasta thing jokingly and that's all I've said.
I hadn't planned on saying or doing anything, I was just venting because it's gross. The things I hear these weirdos saying to the younger girls is just a bit yuck is all.
No. 1478034
>>1477947I dont know why everyone is shitting on you for wanting to follow beauty standards to fit in.
If it's purely a financial thing, unless you are disfigured it won't cost you 20k. Exercise more and do a regular skincare routine.
When you say 20k are you referring to plastic surgery or overall treatments like lashes/nails ect?
Yes, the world is superficial and honestly if it makes you feel better and more confident to get something tweaked, go ahead! But if it's deeper than that, like body dismorphia or you feel like its going to be an ongoing thing, I would probably go to a therapist or try to work with your features until you can accept it.
Unconventional features can look really beautiful. I think mainly having nice clear skin and being well groomed eg- nice clean teeth, smelling nice, brushed hair will get you pretty far. You don't need to have big tits and a tiny button nose to be hot. I mainly exercise and look after my skin which costs fuck all and I have just tweaked small things like getting my teeth whitened. I hope you find love in yourself anon.
No. 1478062
>>1478043go to a pharmacy and buy hydrocolloid bandages. not the expensive skincare pimple patches, just the regular cheap packs meant for wounds. it's literally the same thing, keeps your acne clean, stops you from clawing at it and it speeds up healing. mummify yourself in them and replace every 12 hours. your skin will be good again
nonny, this is just a temporary state and you'll get through it.
No. 1478078
>>1478074your needs aren't stupid. women and people in general (men usually cheat to get what they need) need to understand it's okay to need things someone isn't automatically giving you. talk about it with him and if he doesn't fix it, don't compromise yourself and think about if it's important and he's worth it to you.
>>1478076no, anon needs to express her feelings and have them reciprocated. telling someone what you want and making them do it is useless.
No. 1478104
File: 1674295473959.jpg (4.44 KB, 225x225, index.jpg)
>Be me
>Spend months on lolcow becoming enlightened about moids
>Decide that moids ain't shit
>Meet moid
>Think he's different because he acted mature in the beginning and sounded too good to be true
>He suddenly ghosts me
>Shamefully revert back to lolcow
Honestly I fucking deserve it for being a dumb clown.
No. 1478132
File: 1674300974336.jpg (123.15 KB, 522x800, 1672915234508269.jpg)
Speaking of the friend zone
Yet another moid has decided to half-assedly orbit me without putting in any effort whatsoever or asking me out on a date
How am I supposed to not take it personally? I'm so ugly that bottom-of-the-barrel moids choose me as their last-resort "attempt" to lazily extract sex from a female shaped object, usually after asking out every other woman and failing
I'm so last rate that they can't even offer to buy coffee or come to me, they actually expect me to chase them after making wishy washy "offers" to """"""hang out"""""""
I want to fucking die, I'm somewhat at peace with being an ugly weirdo when I'm left alone but every time I have to deal with a moid like this my self-esteem drops a little lower
No. 1478134
>>1478132I'd gladly give any of these men the chance IF THEY ACTUALLY COURTED ME AND DIDN'T TREAT ME LIKE A BRO WITH A PUSSY
FUCK MOIDS
No. 1478138
>>1478122This is bullshit no one voices their intentions after immediately meeting someone they're interested in and there's nothing wrong with a friendship growing into a romance like most sane people would do. If you aren't friends with your partner are you just there to fuck?
Women develop genuine love and admiration for people therefore some friendships turn into romance, moids don't because moids don't see women as equals and every woman is a potential fuck hole to them.
>gateway to dating is friendship The gateway to dating could very well be friendship especially with lasting female friendships but moids are shallow and only see fuck holes of women. You're no better thinking that moids are stupid and to teach them to segregate women into 'friend', and not friend' based on fuckability. Arguing that they need be obvious about their insidious intentions doesn't make them any less insidious. No moid outwardly communicates that they want to humiliate and degrade you because it's not socially acceptable to do so in most scrote occasions but moids will assume every woman in front of them are single and heterosexual for their moid satisfaction.
The friend zone is not some cutesy, unserious bullshit like people are spewing or intentional retardism of moids like you suggest, it's entirely intentional due to their inability to see women as people.
No. 1478145
>>1478138yeah from my experience it's
>moid finds her adequate (beautiful enough)>moid immediately starts wooing her, attempts to make her his gfor
>moid does not find her adequate (not beautiful enough)>moid becomes her "friend" and can see himself putting his dick in her while drunk if she lets him, until he finds someone he actually wants who he will woo and "simp" forwhereas women can make friends that she develops feelings for out of (what she thinks is) genuine intimacy and familiarity.
men do not do this. men decide what you are to them immediately and if you aren't good enough, you're good enough to be cynically used and milked for everything you've got
No. 1478149
File: 1674302897264.jpg (47.85 KB, 564x564, 2db8490e946ceacfcc4ede4229fe8a…)
I fucking hate female socialization. Why do I always feel like I am the one who has to reach out to someone or ask if things are okay when I did nothing wrong. I'm always the one checking up on everybody, consoling them and accomodating those around me (yes I know that's called being a pushover) but I hate that this habit is so ingrained into me. I KNOW when something is not my fault but even then I still doubt myself and my intuition and wonder if there's something that I could've done about it.
No. 1478167
>>1478152uh what?
>>1478138>This is bullshit no one voices their intentions after immediately meeting someone>>1478145>yeah from my experience it's>moid finds her adequate (beautiful enough)>moid immediately starts wooingfirst anon said no one voices their intentions immediately and anon replied saying men do voice their intentions immediately. plus
>>1478138 makes no sense anyway based on what she's responding to.
No. 1478220
>autistic
>dont fit in irl
>also dont fit in online
I hate everything, this place sucks, 4chan sucks, most forums who are still somehow alive sucks, internet is just irl2 but with more degeneracy. I wonder if there is more people like me out there, who thinks modern world is cursed and wrong but arent politispergs and just want to have a good time playing videogames watching anime and whatnot. I feel so fucking lonely, i wish i could be stuck in 2010 forever. At this time i have accepted i will always feel this lonely. I cant fit with normies because i am anti gendie bullshit, i dont fit in with most transphobic people because they are also racist and "tradcath" and secretly fuck troons and i dont fit here because i have "scroteish hobbies". I recently started making content online and i fucking hope i can find more people like me, it all feels so lonely and bleak. Anyways, i wad doing fine, one week without lc and then social media pushes me back here, and the state of this makes me want to quit again. Sucks.
No. 1478233
>>1478220same here. however i came to a realization, the issue i was having was taking everything too seriously. ignore people who want to constantly remind you of bad things, be it lolcow, sjws, normies or whoever. let someone else worry about all that and just stop caring.
don't be a radfem.
don't be a tra.
don't live in a society. things will exist whether you like it or not so hang out with normies and their annoying tranny friend then come here to bitch about him, but take things lightly.
No. 1478264
>>1478257Just use the
other vent thread, this one is full of very miserable anons like her. That way your vents won't get dragged to hell and back
No. 1478265
>>1478257I swear there's a idiot
or you know who who is in ot who does nothing but bait bullshit fights or finds something to nitpick
No. 1478299
>>1478270>>1478265you realize that
>>1478220 is in another thread defending lolicon, right? they keep calling anons terfs too.
No. 1478325
>>1478298An anon in the dumbass shit thread trying to use
terf as an insult admitted to doing that. I am pretty sure they're a tranny though.
No. 1478338
File: 1674312480539.jpg (52.15 KB, 563x525, 1666021d860d6dde72a60e16b5b5a3…)
I hate how hard it is go get a doctor's appointment in this big fucking city AAAAAAAAAAH. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE FREE IN NINE MONTHS FROM NOW???
No. 1478376
right now, i'm sitting in front of a window looking out over the city, and there's something about the way the light from the setting sun is hitting all the buildings that really struck me. it's a peachy gold color in a clear blue sky, which reminded me so much of sunsets where i've from. i don't know why this touched me, but it did. i think it's because i've been feeling restless and a little anxious. sometimes at night when i'm drifting off to sleep, i have visions of either myself or my mother as decaying corpses in the grave. it makes me feel more sad than it does scare me, but i always inevitably wake up feeling panicky and anxious. i don't like getting older, mainly because getting older reminds me that someday my life will end and there's nothing i can do about it. i worry that i've wasted time, that i haven't lived to my fullest potential, that i haven't said i love you enough to the people who matter the most to me. but then i also feel this kind of quiet strength in me that i've never really had, a kind of "okay, you're turning 30, now you can finally live life on your own terms" thing. even though i am scared, i feel strong, too. i don't feel quite as hopeless as i used to when i was younger. i think now i can genuinely go after my dreams because life has shown me that when you show genuine effort, you will be rewarded. watching this sunset gives me a strange sense of comfort, like someone is telling me everything is okay. that no matter where i am in the world, i will always find that light.
No. 1478377
File: 1674316699524.gif (89.65 KB, 200x200, thumb-129055.gif)
I hope someone here can also relate to this but, I was just reheating some leftovers and am just hit with this weird wave of how much I've changed, around this time 4 or so years ago, I was literally drinking piss and was completely off my fucking rocker, looking visibly and behaviorally fucked up and now here I am… heating yesterdays fried rice… I can't even imagine doing all that right now, even thinking about it is making me barf. It's so weird how in such a small time, I'm a completely different person and absolutely no one around me knows, my friends, coworkers, family… no one. I just lost my shit for a few years and now I'm just working and being very boring. I'm feeling so weird right now, like I can't come to terms with it, I have nothing in common with her at all. And if no one around me has any knowledge of all that happening, did it even happen? I wish I could talk to someone about this, but letting it out like this is nice too.
No. 1478389
>>1478377Definitely can relate to that. A few years ago I was addicted to Xanax and let someone abuse me for years, been through a bunch of other random bullshit with stupid ass "friends".
When I tell people some of these stories they're like "Wow I had no idea/couldn't tell!" And it just baffled me, how could they not? It's insane and really does make you question if any of it was real, like you said. You're not alone! Life might be more boring, but if you're taking care of your health and getting stuff done, it's better than where you were. Proud of you. Hopefully we can all keep it up!
No. 1478396
Well, I have to start an eviction process for my roommate. We dated years ago and I thought we were friends so I let him move in with me. But even he said the only reason that would happen is because I wanted to get back together. I told him if we worked on our problems, could pay bills together and be patient it might have been a possibility. But especially after leaving my job to take care of my grandma, stress wouldn't be the best way to rekindle a relationship. She passed away recently and he said I shouldn't be so depressed, stop being a bitch, etc. But she raised me, he doesn't respect the dishes she gave me for my first apartment, and he really doesn't care even though she's helped him in the past. He breaks into my bedroom at night, starts slamming around my belongings, and mixes drugs and starts threatening me after getting trashed. I had to call the cops because he refused to leave my bedroom and they said unless he hurts me, there's nothing they can do. He raped me two weeks ago and it's been hard to process so everything is really hurting.
I told him yesterday that I am pretty sure I'm a lesbian and that he needs to respect it, but it spiralled out of control which led to me calling 911. He kept wanting to force attraction and literally forced me into sex which was so traumatic I had a seizure. I honestly cannot trust men anymore, this is so fucking disgusting. I gave part of my heart and home to someone who should have been my friend and this is what happens. I escaped to my parent's house last night after the cops left because he told me to commit suicide or that he'd do it for me. It's just so wrong. I called a few friends and recorded videos in case anything happens.
No. 1478399
File: 1674318539059.gif (27.84 KB, 200x200, 200w.gif)
>>1478389This made me a little emotional, I'm sorry you went through all that crap, anon. I hope you are safe and healthy and surrounded with people who are better for you…
It feels so much better to know I am not alone. Thank you for your words, this is a much better way of processing this feeling like, we've come so far right? Past-me definitely didn't expect I'd have a regular job and friends right now, haha. Thanks for being proud of me. Wish I could give you a hug. Here's to more stable and calm days for us!!
No. 1478405
>>1478402what kind of dog did you get, a husky or something similar? it sounds like you have a working type dog who needs something to do. he's just going to get more belligerent as he gets older and i find with dogs like that, sometimes they get even more ignorant when you correct them.
>He listens to my partner even though I'm the one who does training with him and primarily feeds this asshole dog.does your partner also discipline him? if not, they need to now because the dog will naturally gravitate towards the person who is more affectionate and you'll never get him trained properly.
also, i know it may sound patronizing but be kind to your dog. they're like little kids; he knows you are frustrated with him, so he is trying to get under your skin so to speak. i mean if push comes to shove, you may have to rehome him if he becomes too much (the bullying of the senior dog is concerning), but i think a little patience, more ground rules, and maybe some creativity in figuring out how to work with the dog will help you in the long run. good luck!!!!
No. 1478421
>>1478405Thanks nonna, I appreciate it and it's not patronizing because I'm at my wits end. We did a DNA test and he's primarily great pyrenees/chow/german shepard mostly with some additional cattle dog and border collie, so yeah a mix of a bunch of working/guard breeds. When we first got him, he had a great personality and I was psyched to get him to doggy daycare or take him to dog parks, but he's gotten more aggressive to strangers and other dogs on walks (he's ok with meeting dogs in their territory) over time. He can be sweet with the older dog, but like I said, he will go ahead and bully the senior if he's frustrated and he's not getting his way.
By something to do, what do you mean? I take him for walks 3-4 times a day and even try to incorporate jogging (which he hates and will chew the lead/gnaw my hand/jump on me) and try to do some fetch with him as well as sporadic obedience and trick training throughout the day for additional mental exercise. Yet it never seems to be enough and especially in the evening when Im done with work he gets his most ill-behaved. Sometimes ill go to bed early rather than relax in the living room to get away from
this dog.
My partner also disciplines him and honestly much more harshly than I do. For example, I'll tell him to "go" out of my space and might step towards him once and he'll back up (but only temporarily, he'll keep trying to return, nip my hand or will snap at me as he backs up) whereas my partner will keep following him telling him to "go" as the dog is backing away or even pin him against the wall or grab his snout, which I don't do. It makes me uncomfortable because I feel like that's too harsh and I tell my partner to not overcorrect him like that, but honestly idk because the dog listens to him way more than me.
No. 1478432
>>1478132Same
nonnie. I'm 25 never been asked out, kissed or anything. Then a moid recently "asked me out" and I felt so happy until I'd thought about his offer for a while. He wasn't asking me on a date at all. He literally said "you should come over sometime that'd be really nice". AKA he was trying to order pussy to his house as easy as ordering McDonalds. I used to be too ugly to interact with at all, but now I'm good enough to, like you word it, lazily extract sex from. They treat me like an NPC where they gotta choose the right dialogue path to get me to their house. And I bet if I come over they won't even have tidied up or bought wine or anything at all. Or even showered.
No. 1478453
File: 1674323277975.jpg (146.63 KB, 960x720, 1674168823728582.jpg)
The guy I'm dating crashed his car yesterday, nothing happened to him but his car couldn't be saved. I always thought he was a little reckless driver. He only had this car for 4 months. He didn't answer my texts this morning. Now he called me asking if I have some hydroxyzine to spare because his friend's girlfriend took some drug or shrooms and she has some kind of a psychosis or a panic attack and they can't snap her out of it. I'm a little sick of his junkie friends and him being a loser and a sexual pest. It's my first boyfriend and I really think I'm done with him, I want someone normal ffs, where can I find a normal guy who's mature and responsible and who doesn't have junkie friends. God I should drop him after our second date at the beach when he had too much drinks and he threw up into his fucking backpack and I was so embarrassed I didn't know what to do with myself
No. 1478501
I'm feeling attraction to women and it's making me really scared, I don't want to feel this. I mean, I've known I liked women when I started developing feelings during puberty and I accepted it like, "ok, well, whatever" but now it feels too fucking real and like, I actually AM into women and it's freaking me out so badly, like it's actual fact and not just abstract knowledge that I was vaguely aware of. I just caught myself thinking romantically about a distant friend right now and it's like, I can't believe I'm thinking these thoughts? I want to date a woman? This can't be reality. It will complicate things so fucking badly, too fucking badly. I don't want this at all. It's not practical at all, fuuuck fml
No. 1478515
>>1478031I thought the board was slow before I realized how much gets deleted from regular conversations. Is the admin even active?
>>1478255It's harmful to the site, banning and overpolicing for no reason.
>>1478496Yup. I sound schizo but the longer I browse it's honestly clear someone from r9k or with an agenda has moderating powers over there.
No. 1478555
File: 1674331806862.jpg (50.77 KB, 670x450, images.jpeg-21.jpg)
>>1478546Much love
nonny.hope you heal from the pain they've caused you.
No. 1478579
>>1478555It's kind of a process that comes and goes
Sometimes I feel fine, sometimes I don't
Much love to you too
No. 1478597
>>1478591I would bet an arm and a leg that he also loved playing the
victim, taking advantage of your feistiness or anything perceived as """
problematic""" about you as cover for his own blackhole of shit. I know this ugly nerd type.
No. 1478601
File: 1674337488754.jpg (12.88 KB, 564x309, ff63719cc972f791bb0ac82cab313e…)
I really don't know how to get myself out of this depressed state. I can't afford a therapist (anymore) because I'd need weekly sessions at this point and the waiting lists are so long. I've tried most self care advice but it's hard to find worth within myself when it was never there in the first place. I don't have friends or family to reach out to either and taking a bubble bath and lighting some candles isn't going to magically fix something that's been broken for over a decade and only makes me feel better for 10 minutes. I feel so lonely and detached even in a crowd full of people. I've tried to pick up some hobbies and exercise but I just don't feel any joy at all.
No. 1478622
>>1478618For sure!
I hope you get better soon.
No. 1478668
File: 1674344511858.jpg (11.04 KB, 443x449, 1648229447844.jpg)
i havent been able to hear out of my left ear for a week but im afraid of going to the doctor about it because i dont like how close theyd have to get to my body to look into my ear. going to wait and see if it goes away after a month
No. 1478705
>>1478432I'm in the same position except I've never been propositioned. Lately I realize that it's better off (after all apparently the #1 rebuttal to women that are single is "haha! You're gonna die alone with just friends and cats! Tragic!")…plus I'm not really attracted to real people…but there is a bit of pain of knowing how it'd go if I were to try. It's dumb.
Anyway, yeah, that stinks, though on the upside it was unlikely to go anywhere even if it was serious.
No. 1478708
>>1478143Could you elaborate on what I misinterpreted when you clearly said retarded shit and make no effort to clear things up like the gateway to dating is not friendship. How was I to interpret that as anything else than "I'm segregating 'fuck' from 'non fuck'". Aren't friendships necessary to develop relationships in the first place? Please explain this, and that moids should always voice their intentions? Please put some effort into your posts other than random shitty insults.
>>1478680>nobody cares to deal with her so i will and i take the all blows figuratively and literallyShe sounds like a type of narc, but an emotional glass canon type of narc kek. People being unwilling to take criticism is characteristic of narcs, it doesn't matter how that unwillingness manifests it could be anger or sadness like in her case.
No. 1478757
File: 1674351373423.gif (736.6 KB, 500x500, tumblr_pfdgo5XaxJ1rjo89t_540.g…)
Honestly makes me so mad and sad that I never learned to pirate. So many shows are spread out across different platforms and it would cost so much to be subscribed to them all. I'm not super young, 24, and I remember older siblings using limewire but not TV show/films so i think I missed out. I know how to use some websites but I wish I knew how to download shit without a bunch of viruses so I could build a nice collection.
No. 1478767
>>1478757There's always a chance of viruses, even for "pros", but there's always a chance to learn. Don't give up on yourself yet. Read up on pirating threads on other sites, and see what they do. When I pirate shit, I also do it first on an old laptop I don't give a shit about. If I feel good about it, I can transfer it over to my nicer computer. On the old laptop, just make sure you're not logged in to anything and use an account you can let accumulate spam. I make fake accounts to subscribe to shit all the time. Best of luck,
nonnie, and happy sailing the seas, kek
No. 1478773
>>1478757Learn to use utorrent
nonnie, they have most things on there c: also if you're gonna use any putlockers etc to watch stuff, make sure you have a handful of adblock addons and antipopups installed on your browser. Enjoy the pirate's life!
No. 1478779
>>1478757What viruses? What exactly did you experience?
Cause I've been a pirate my whole life and I call bullshit.
No. 1478783
>>1478773I'll check it out anon thanks, I do use ghostery but the site I used to watch stuff on went down, it might be back under a similar address though, haven't checked.
>>1478779I remember I used to watch anime on shady websites when I was younger and would end up with viruses on the computure. It might be me being more paranoid then necessary though.
No. 1478796
>>1478765What the fugg, just pirate it, it's so far less effort and you get a better product.
>>1478773qbittorrent is better, but torrenting does need a 5 min VC explanation to get going.
TBH it's crazy to me that there's now people who don't know how to torrent media. That used to be one of the first things you learn when you go online. Hell it used to be one of the reasons you did.
No. 1478803
>>1478799Oh, hi, so did see my post after all?
Sorry to hear that you're doing so poorly, I had hoped it might be helpful to know what it is.
No. 1478807
File: 1674354235297.png (3.25 MB, 1170x2532, A1ECD9BA-BF4A-4395-92C0-6FA7BC…)
So True!
No. 1478895
File: 1674360104336.jpg (28.69 KB, 567x567, 1658959742027.jpg)
>haven't heard from moid in 3 weeks
>listening to lana del rey and sulking
>get text from the moid just now
>"hi nonnie. me, me, me, mememe. also me."
>no how have you been, no questions, no mentioning his absence, nothing
I now realize this is what he always does, it's always about him. I'm not gonna respond at all. I want to choke him to death actually
No. 1478910
File: 1674361578420.jpg (Spoiler Image,92.81 KB, 1000x1000, d97e4f8f-e1df-4f65-a0cc-698b6c…)
>>1478841Thank you,
nonny. I really appreciate your kind words. I feel so fucking violated and sick, but for the reasons you listed I can't tell her. What good would that do? She likely already knows he's a degenerate anyhow. After a long think I have to admit I considered buying a creepy mask like pic related then waiting for ol pervasaurus to linger in his kitchen. I'd throw open the curtains with the mask on, bare-breasted with theatrical blood dripping down them. Might scare him into a cardiac event. Jerk off to that you slimy freak. My thirst for justice is pretty strong atm. Your kindness however has quelled my rage a bit and feels like gentle hug. Thank you.
No. 1479095
>>1479082He's probably a retard and thinks being a
terf is comparable to being indoctrinated to right wing propaganda
No. 1479138
File: 1674380001896.jpg (51.77 KB, 564x839, whyamIsodumbHELLO.jpg)
Call me Bozo the clown because I gave a dude a chance even though I wasn't really that physically attracted to him (I have a high libido but I constantly found excuses as to why I didn't/couldn't have sex with him) because he had his shit together, acted like a gentleman (cooked for me, picked me up and brought me back home, paid for dates etc) and because I've been touch starved for years and he just suddenly ghosted me three days ago. I'm so mad at myself. I know I should just not reach out to him but I am so tempted to at least call him out for being immature as fuck and not even saying that he's not interested anymore. I know I shouldn't even give such a moid any attention but being ghosted by this 4/10 moid really bruises my ego and I just want to get back at him for that so that I can move on. This is so embarassing omg.
No. 1479143
>>1479140>That sucks though that 180 would give me whiplashKek yeah it definitely did. Even my friends could tell that he was way more into me than I was into him and he went out of his way to text and see me all the time, no matter how busy and suddenly nothing. I don't even care if he's not interested anymore (I only used him for passing some time, going on dates and kissing and cuddling anyway and never expected it to go anywhere because of the lack of sexual attraction), I'm just angry that I wasn't the one who broke it off first.
>>1479142Thank you sweet
nonny!
No. 1479150
File: 1674383380214.jpeg (261 KB, 750x755, 493C754B-367F-43B9-9A0D-CFE9C8…)
up until about a few months ago my brother who is a decade older than i am was my actual idol and my biggest subject of admiration to the point where i tried my best to emulate him as much as i could in middle school and vowed to be the female version of him. well as you can expect he's just like other internet addicted moids. my whole world is shattered. i honestly expected him to be different. maybe he was or maybe i was too young and oblivious to see it. i'm disgusted i ever felt that way about him. he's seriously akin to the quasi pedophile i went to highschool with that groped me and was addicted to masturbating and hentai. maybe i was subconsciously keeping myself ignorant but i never noticed how crude he was, or maybe he just feels like he can say anything now that i've been of age for a while. i don't want to think of it. don't ever trust a moid who watches anime no matter how much you love him. i can't even fully express how much love i had for him and how much of my life i spent holding him to the highest regard. but i guess that's my fault. i wish i knew less. i wish i still lived in my ignorant bliss. i don't want to know more than i already do. i cried myself to sleep and when i woke up because of how shocked i was. i don't know how to act around him anymore. i don't know how i can ever be the same but at the end of the day it's a moid so maybe i should have seen it coming but i didn't think of that considering how highly i thought of him i didn't think he could ever. well now i know better at least
No. 1479241
>>1479234I was already seeing the community outpatients mental health team, so I got discharged back into their care.
Thank you for the kind words.
No. 1479252
>>1479245I took a stacks of diphenhydramine along with lots of my pain medications. I came close before with that mix and thought I just needed more time for it to work without being found and intervened with. Thought the cold would help too.
I would definitely not recommend it.
No. 1479253
File: 1674400302943.png (336.05 KB, 459x560, jokemaeda.png)
Accused of being a "fake bisexual" and "shaming lesbian sexuality" by AGPs who unpromptedly post garden variety male gaze coomshit on the regular
No. 1479282
File: 1674403493964.png (392.91 KB, 401x622, 0492D9E1-308C-4A01-B677-A1C1AD…)
I have $8000 in credit card debt due to me being a doormat for my family and felt pressured to open a new line to help them out because I assumed they would help me pay it off, which was a horrible mistake on my part because they haven’t. Now every paycheck I get is either going towards paying it off or rent. I hate myself for being so financially stupid. I just want this shit paid off but the monthly interest charges keep fucking over whatever progress I’m making.
No. 1479378
File: 1674410283987.jpg (264.52 KB, 726x1000, Tumblr_l_22836883985886.jpg)
God I hate to perpetuate the trope about inlaws being lousy but in my experience it's super fucking accurate. Going to the flea market today with my husband and he's like "I'm gonna invite my mom" fucking WHY she likes middle of the mall shit only and hates secondhand shopping or flea markets and is literally just going to complain the entire time.
No. 1479399
>>1478132I hear you
nonnie. this dude I know offered to take me out for dinner and drinks and then ghosted me the week it was meant to happen. he then texts me saying he 'forgot' and asking if we can hang out again… I hate that he thinks thats acceptable. I'm always getting random moids from high school messaging me with some half arsed attempt to hit on me too. I hate that they assume I have such low self esteem that I would go for this bullshit.
No. 1479488
>>1479474ayrt & I completely agree. I had a gender crisis when I was diagnosed over 15 years ago. I’d never heard of it and the endo who diagnosed me was brisk and fatalistic, telling me I was doomed to lifelong acne, obesity and infertility because I had too many male hormones. He was wrong about all three and I have completely normal testosterone levels now.
It’s so offensive and it’s dangerous. I went through that gender crisis and came out the other side a healthy, secure teenage tomboy who was proud to be female and comfortable with having certain masculine features. Would that happen today?
No. 1479557
File: 1674427257010.jpeg (222 KB, 1170x1162, 1674301921834.jpeg)
I want a gf so bad that I'm finally concidering getting my shit together in order to stop being a neet
No. 1479584
File: 1674431934300.jpg (161.2 KB, 598x600, 155802_600.jpg)
The week before my period is hitting me like a sledgehammer. I just want to read a book but I can't stop fucking crying for no reason I can't even read through my god damn tears
No. 1479599
File: 1674433699669.gif (2.92 MB, 500x278, love-live-pillow-fight.gif)
i just want deranged fujo radfem friends. i want them to like dead dove content as much as i do. i want them to like GL as much as i do too. why can't i find this. all the fujo radfems i see are like "ironic" fujoshi or newfags who only got into the hobby recently aaaaaaa
No. 1479648
File: 1674437703289.jpeg (75.77 KB, 720x960, 4B17DBC1-C373-4007-BCF6-D6F6F2…)
>>1479599>tfw no one to read propernicethat fanfics with meI feel you anon, there’s no more craziness like how there was in the older fujo fandoms. The only crazy nowadays is tif headcannons being pushed on every male character so I constantly see stupid troon shit in my fics. Missed the era where people just wrote dead dove shit and no one bat an eye or it was seen as a challenge if you could stomach the content. Never forgetting the Hetalia fandom for having a fuckton of fics like that and some being infamous for it.
still trying to look for the romano/italy fic where he skull fucks his dead corpse on the beach I miss being a young unhinged weeb!!
No. 1479650
File: 1674437938963.jpg (199.11 KB, 1169x1152, 71b.jpg)
I fucked up and got a bunch of Shins songs stuck in my head and it's negatively impacting my mental health.
No. 1479654
>>1478591Oh completely, towards the end of the relationship his favorite thing to do would be to complain about how I changed, he couldn't describe it, but just had a "bad feeling" and would distance himself from me. He didn't think for a second that it was on him, it's never his fault only mine. Or when it was undeniably his fault he would pull the "I'm such an asshole I hate myself you deserve better" shit. He also heavily restricted me, started shit with me and would demand photos of my friends and stuff or make up insane scenarios, usually related to sex trafficking on why I can't go out and would have some sort of issue with any job I had and would start shit with me on the job until I had to leave early because he literally wanted me to believe the relationship was going to end and would make a huge deal being vague about how "he no longer cared", after I was saving up and planning to go to a uni near him mind you. Like no shit I changed you don't allow me to do anything outside of work, if I had any conversation outside of a completely predictable smalltalk he'd complain about how much I changed, etc. I truly believe he was attempting to ruin my personality for others and wanted me to have a personality of cardboard so no one would be interested. He's one of those idiots that thinks their "gut feelings" are words to live by, which can be true to some, but this dude took it to a whole new level, and his "gut feelings" only ever seemed to happen if he wanted to restrict me from something or abuse me
No. 1479680
File: 1674442147030.jpg (30.03 KB, 640x312, CdbvD8TW8AAb-lU.jpg large.jpg)
I'm starting to worry if I've ruined my life to the point of no return.
Life story incoming:
I'm 28 and a two-time college dropout. I have about 30k in student loans from my first institution- then my second one I nearly graduated but a close family member passed away suddenly and my grades took a nosedive and it wasn't cost-efficient anymore to keep paying to fail. I withdrew thinking it would only be temporary but I never returned. I lived at home with my family and struggled to find employment since I couldn't drive even though I was 21 so I worked a few part-time retail jobs. I lived with my bf around this time in the city and started working for his family- I was dealing with a lot of mental health issues that are now more under control. When I started feeling better my bf of 8 years broke up with me and I realized I had spent almost my entire twenties with him and had almost nothing to show for it. I know I was a bit of a moocher- I'm living on my own now and have a full-time retail job but as I get closer to my 30s I have a lot of shame about my lack of success and how much I've failed compared to my peers. I live in an expensive high-powered city and I can relate to my younger coworkers but nobody my age on dating apps. I live paycheck to paycheck and couldn't afford an emergency and am starting to really stress about money. I want to work in an office and have a real job but I have no idea how to afford going back to school or when I would even have time with my work schedule. I don't even know where to start rebuilding my life.
No. 1479710
>>1479683NTA but yes and yes, I had a moid friend who would always brag about how reliable his gut feelings were, and sometimes they were right don't get me wrong, but eventually he would start using it as an excuse to be controlling towards me and other girls in our friend group, he'd somehow always get the ~bad stomach feeling~ around every boyfriend any girl had, even for the ones that were consistent with not being bad and ended up never being bad anyway.
Gut feelings exist but too many people use it to be manipulative to those who trust them
No. 1479720
File: 1674452191493.jpg (10.04 KB, 360x223, 1667149898981.jpg)
>>1479599i feel like i could've written this word for word
No. 1479743
File: 1674456750336.jpg (29.73 KB, 551x556, 819004262507e1e695eceb940cac2a…)
Nonnies, what the hell is wrong with me. I keep on forgetting stuff and remembering them at the last minute, often becoming late as I scramble to do my uni tasks. I'm beyond furious at myself because I write things down, setting them as calendar reminders, and STILL. FORGET. It's maddening, I can't believe I'm starting the year like this! I already got in hot water with one of my professors because I didn't respond to her for a long time during the break. And now I submitted a discussion post late!!! How could I do this!? I feel like I am eroding my image as a responsible student to my teachers and I'm so afraid they will have a low opinion of me. I didn't use to do this so what the hell happened!?!? I wish I could clone myself and shake her, like WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? I want to get my shit together. I feel like I'm going to explode. I keep on running behind assignments for no good reason at the start of the year.
Nonnies, what do I do…
No. 1479745
File: 1674456833365.jpg (49.18 KB, 800x450, drema.jpg)
>>1479681for real. i just need a girlie that's genuinely into insane stuff without being lobotomized by libfem gendie shit
>>1479656same i just had the gif on hand
>>1479720it's hard out here for us. most rfs can't seem to comprehend the whole fiction =/= reality thing
No. 1479750
File: 1674458824797.jpg (Spoiler Image,90.3 KB, 540x400, cannime.jpg)
>>1479599>>1479745god speed to you,
nonnie. i'm a terrible degen fujo too and it's hard out here for us. some radfem/terfs seem to get us or tolerate us but they're hard to find. value them if you do! we're always hiding amongst you in odd places kek
No. 1479868
>>1479815>>1479819So sorry that happened to you both. So many women are such extreme pick mes that they'd rather end up with violence,
abusive moids than be alone. I dont trust anyone who picks their moids over their girl friends. they're both pieces of garbage that will definitely be miserable.
No. 1479877
>>1479680I'm doing my best not to a-log bc I relate to so much of what you wrote but lets just say I am 30 years old and in almost the exact same situation. Something I've learned getting older and opening up about dating/finance struggles more (bc I am beyond shame at this point, cringe but free, etc) is that this is actually really, really common. Especially living in a big city. SO many people our age are living paycheck to paycheck, or are 1-2 big cost emergencies away from being broke. People just hide it, same as they hide their debt. Letting go of that shame will help so much with being able to tackle what you don't like and start to change it- it's empowering in a way to accept that the situation is not unique, the economy is so bad right now and its depressingly common to be struggling that way. The idea that you have everything sorted in your 30s is kinda… idk. I'm starting to think it's not as common. 30 felt so old when I was 20, but now I'm like idk. Maybe I just learned that from movies, that 30 year olds have a career and a home and kids and blah blah blah.
This is also only semi-related but I was gonna rant about it…it's amazing how many people in their late 20s/early 30s are supported by parents. Or come from wealthy families. They NEVER share it, and say stupid shit like "We're comfortable" or even LARP as being poor, but then you find out their parents will pay their rent, or send them grocery/doctor money on the regular and it's like wtf. That's insane to me but also makes sense how some people seem to not be as panicked about being broke all the time. The stakes aren't as high when your checking hits $0 if you know that you'd still be ok should rent come due or you end up in the hospital- family will pick up the bill..
No. 1479896
File: 1674489631213.jpg (583.16 KB, 959x981, sexpesttranny.jpg)
Never underestimate scrote's insanity and obsession nonas, I just learned my ex boyfriend from six years ago obsessively talk shit about me to this day and keep saying to whoever will listen that my current bf need to be rescued because I must be severely abusing him. Meanwhile he's integrated an uggo infested polycule and has started to go out at night crossdressing using a name very similar to mine.
And yes I wanna kms knowing that I dated such a degenerate sex pest.
No. 1479918
File: 1674492739115.png (88.46 KB, 261x268, nigga what.png)
anyone online that's seen me compares me to maui from moana, and you know i love the legends in polynesian cultures about him and his character in the movie was pretty cool… but im a biological woman!!! i dont know if i should take it as an insult or a compliment at this point. like yeh im of polynesian background also brown, same hair, a fat nose and a little out of shape so im pretty undesirable physically but god DAMN i cant look like a moid… no way… i wanna get fit this year and if i still possess masculine facial features im just gonna go down the androgynous route but… it's over.. anyone i'm close with says there's no resemblance at all but i feel i'm being lied to jfc
No. 1479966
Growing up, everything I did was either made fun of, used against me somehow, or blown up to be undeniable proof of me being a spoiled, evil manipulator when I was just a little kid.
I remember selling my Barbies to neighbor kids for money and getting scammed because I didn't know how much things cost back then. My family was dirt poor and I just wanted to help because they'd been complaining about it in front of and to me for as long as I could remember.
I went to my grandma all happy and told her how much I made for them, she got angry, laughed at me and then called me dumb and gullible. I was like 5. I then asked her to help me get my toys back since she said I got scammed. She laughed, said it's my own fault and that now that I have no toys I'll learn my lesson.
I also got mocked for trying to learn how to cook ('Drop it right now, you're just making a mess'), but also not knowing how to cook ('You will listen to me and do as I say. Talk to me again when you learn to cook'). I was bad because I wasn't more like my neighbor, but also my neighbor was dumb and her mom is a trailer park whore who just married rich and thinks she's hot shit. The sky is blue but it's also green. I hate my shit family.
No. 1479968
>>1479768you need to read better gl. look away from jpn made stuff and check out manwha/manhua. i recommend moonlight garden, godspeed
>>1479750we need our own dog whistles
No. 1479971
File: 1674498097928.jpg (109.03 KB, 564x1002, 9496c360a04b715a5d95f1744368fe…)
>>1479968NTA but if you could give more gl recommendation you would be my savior
nonnie. I'm currently trying to find some good stuff to read
No. 1479978
File: 1674498584622.png (406.78 KB, 1055x1500, 1648143594370-0.png)
>>1479971i am copy-pasting these posts i made a long time ago from another chan. if you've seen them before, that's why:
>Her Tale of Shim Chonga favorite, so it's first. historical drama chronicling the relationship between a poor, roguish slum girl and the wife of a noble. the schemes they pull to get revenge on the wife's family are fun to watch.
>Opium, by Aji didn't finish this one, but it's about a pair of doctors in umm…early, developing south korea. feels like a bl kinda because of how wimpy and blushy the mc is against her love interest (who's cold, unfeeling, manipulative and always in control of the situation, etc.).
>Moonlight Gardenit's like abo, kind of…except omegas are the only gender. the main setting is a brothel and there's this entire caste of women who forcibly "bloom" once a month (e.g. they get stupid horny and start to smell like flowers). the world is also matriarchal, which is based.
>Best Friendsliterally abo yuri. this is 100% just your typical dumb abo yaoi but with girlies instead (based)
>Beloved (Jaeliu)another favorite. age-gap between a doctor (i think she was 30…something?) and a high-schooler she accidentally hooked up with. it's dramatic and tackles the subject seriously, though. kind of ends on an unsatisfying note, so be careful.
>What Does The Fox Say kind of a gl classic. though i only faintly remember it because i read it back in high-school, lol. anyway it's about women in an office…and the mind games they play on one another.
here's some yuri that makes me think of bl:
>https://dynasty-scans.com/chapters/cat_piercing one-shot. cold, possessive top with a weak-willed bottom. picrel is from this.
>https://dynasty-scans.com/chapters/with_that_forbidden_girl_in_a_forbidden_placetitle sort of gives it away but this leans hard into the ~forbidden love~ trope. it's not cute & fluffy as it usually is in yuri though; rather kind of dark and sexy and desperately co-dependent.
>https://dynasty-scans.com/chapters/if_we_were_to_put_a_name_to_this_stagnant_relationshipanother one-shot. more typical seme/uke feeling stuff.
this has gotten crazy long so i'll stop here but as a bonus recommendation: the gl version of the sadistic beauty side-story is pretty good. fluffy bdsm.
No. 1479987
Here's how my day is gonna be tomorrow.
I have to walk for 25 mins to the station, catch the train that does not check for tickets, get there in 50 mins and sneak on a bus that doesn't check tickets or walk another hour, to get to the office that will help me get out of this country back to my country to go pick up money in person because they refuse to fucking send it to me. I have to get up ass crack early to do all of this, on my period, barely eaten in two weeks, in the cold and potential rain, and then hope I can get back here in time to finish what I started. All because no bank would accept me, they won't send me my money, I can't work, and I trusted people and had even a slither of hope things would work out. I never should have fucking waited and trust people, they wasted my time. I might not even fucking make it tomorrow, I might drop dead, honestly I don't think I am gonna survive.
No. 1479997
File: 1674500339592.jpg (241.03 KB, 1080x1080, milsae.jpg)
>>1479978thank you
nonnie!
No. 1480013
File: 1674501803621.jpeg (252.82 KB, 1074x1035, 5602CF1D-587F-4D34-B81E-6135B4…)
I’m so fucking frustrated!! I’m general a very happy person but I realized that I’m awful at expressing more negative thoughts and shit just comes across as rough and harsh when I don’t intend it too. I got into a dumb squabble with my fiancé earlier today, and the only I can remember is him retorting that I, “ don’t need to be so defensive.” LIKE FUCK YOU!!!! IM NOT BEING DEFENSIVE ITS JUST MY STUPID TONE BC I DONT KNOW HOW TO REGULATE IT OR WHATEVER SO YOU DONT PRECEIVE ME AS DEFENSIVE. ALSO FUCK YOU IF YOU FIND ME BEING DEFENSIVE, WHAT ELSE THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO BE? SUBMISSIVE TO YOUR DUMB SUGGESTIONS AS IF I DIDNT DO MY OWN RESEARCH??!
This shit just hurts so much…. I’m slowly realizing I don’t have anyone in my life I’m comfortable enough to express these negative feelings with so I just hold a lot of it in or journal about it until I forget…. Picrel my emotion and mental state rn
No. 1480042
I learned how to do a certain crochet stitch last night and was doing it so good, but now I'm struggling with it again.
>>1480013I always thought that that pic looked like a Sims screenshot.
No. 1480126
File: 1674514262449.jpg (409.11 KB, 1000x727, panopticon.jpg)
>>1480108it's the panopticon theory but for the male gaze. women get off on the idea of imagining that men are watching them and would approve of what they are doing. so they participate in/think that they actively enjoy degrading shit bc they get dopamine from imagining some dude watching them do it and think they are sexy/worthy for it.
being a pickme even in total isolation is extremely depressing to imagine
No. 1480197
>>1480190It’s nice when a scrote pays for things without me having to ask.
>>1480192Why?
No. 1480232
>>1480149Women like you who have casual sex are disgusting. I hope you get raped
>>1480215Yes if they're braindead pickmes
(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE) No. 1480260
>>1480250Oh that's a good idea thank you nonna. I didn't know that tbh. Now I feel a bit less disgusted
>>1480255lmao i just assumed they're being funny besides
>>1480253 No. 1480300
>>1480281Tell him you're missing a positive male role model, that's your wound.
>>1480284Metoo didnt do that, moids were always like that, and the thought of him crying about that gives me strength and joy.
No. 1480317
>>1480314absolutely agree, i had a momentary lapse in judgment a few days ago and went on 4chan just because it's so slow here, and while i regretted it immediately due to the pure concentrated moidism, i was like "wow, people still actually talk to each other here" kek. so many imageboards out there, but almost none that are both active
and not filled with vitriolic hatred of women. it's depressing
No. 1480365
>>1480284>A guy asked me about a one night stand we had and I said I felt regret and he went fucking ballistic, then he started crying and said he was scared that I would accuse him falsely of rape. What a fucking retard. I have better things to do.
wtf, feeling second hand annoyance for you anon. What an absolute whiny bitch. Really telling that instead of moids asking the woman what was wrong or how he could have done better, his first reaction was to panic. Moids only think about themselves.
No. 1480386
File: 1674542830635.jpg (18.53 KB, 640x268, E_WOc_dXIAMA5cM.jpg)
>>1480363Someone I know, who is single, is fucking around with someone who is taken, and tries to say things like "I'm a woman so it doesn't count" to excuse her behavior. It's so upsetting.
No. 1480391
>>1480383Nta and kinda derail, but why is marina also considered
problematic like the other two?
No. 1480415
File: 1674547378713.jpg (25.68 KB, 735x586, 0560d012699e47a6dbf0e6d91c290d…)
It's been 10 years since 2013
No. 1480417
File: 1674547618409.jpg (67.13 KB, 586x401, FaGhCiy.jpg)
I'm so sick of making so little right now for my industry. I deserve way more pay. I'm pushing my raise for now rather than March. I work all day with no fucking break because our stupid client is fucking retarded. WHY AM I DYING FOR YOUR DEADLINES.YOU SENT ME THE FUCKING MODEL, YOU MADE THAT MISTAKE. WHY AM I FIXING YOUR FUCKING MISTAKE AND TELLING ME THAT IM DOING SOMETHING WRONG. I WILL FLY TO YOUR STUDIO AND BEAT YOUR FACE WITH A DILDO TO HUMILIATE YOU. AAAAAAAAHHHHRRRRRRHHHHHHHH
No. 1480430
File: 1674550123120.png (2.6 MB, 1280x1290, b4def8ecd35572164d5b87d4276025…)
>>1476492I wish my parents never brought me to the US as a teen. I know I should be grateful to be here, but I've been utterly miserable for the last 10 years.
Even though I've officially spent half of my life here this year, I never felt so distant and far away from a place to call home. I can't think of a single thing I like about here. I also have no attachments since everyone I care about is far away. I just want to leave and pretend this half of my life never happened, but idk how to cope with all the wasted years.
No. 1480436
>>1480430If it will bring you relief, do it
nonny. Your home has changed immensely since you last lived there, and will never be the same. But if you have family and a support system and a way to sustain yourself or them, please go for it. Do not worry about lost years, they joy of the correct decision will make that heartache vanish if this is indeed the main obstacle to you truly living. Go home, you deserve it, especially after all these years. I've given up on all that and yet I find myself constantly longing. Some of my siblings went back and I know they don't have much of a life there rn, but they are happier.
No. 1480438
File: 1674551220133.png (423.24 KB, 697x697, gloomy bear.png)
I have been so deprived of human interaction that I'm not sure if I even want it anymore.
No. 1480449
File: 1674553779232.gif (9.22 MB, 540x540, 4f095a03b15ca010412f140a230622…)
Thank you to the anons that taught me how to torrent the other day. After some trial and error I've already downloaded a few episodes of a show. My heart beats for you anons.
No. 1480452
File: 1674554402321.jpg (79.54 KB, 1280x720, 1276417c.jpg)
This is really petty but I have a friend who is too shy to ask anything in our class group chat, so she always ask me. And I never have once been able to answer her questions, yet she keeps asking. Like girl just ask the group chat I never know anything!!
No. 1480453
>>1480436Thank you from the bottom of my heart
nonnie, I really needed to hear this. I guess it’s better to make a decision late than never. I hope one day we can both find peace and feel at home again no matter where that place may be.
>>1480439kek you are so right, in hindsight I should’ve realized it a bit sooner but oh well
No. 1480454
i'm going insane, i've known this man for 14 years, i'm going on 29 and met him when i was 15, we were each other's first love, we couldn't stop talking for all those years, always so drawn to each other despite our relationship being chaotic, and me thinking i was asexual and never having libido for him, etc. i thought all those years we were meant to be and would overcome everything, and this motherfucker left me when i lost my job and had a big depressive episode last summer. i thought like always he would come back to me, we were no contact all summer but i knew in september he was starting a new job and would have his life together, and i was so delusional i thought he would call me back then and we would finally live together. he didn't. i was going insane but being the avoidant bitch that i am i kept the silence going, until he came back in november. my life suddenly had meaning again, him coming back was the only light in my dark pitiful life, i was overjoyed, was already picturing myself with him in his new apartment. i learned he had someone else. in 14 years, it never happened, we were everything for each other, it was a crazy obsession for both of us. i felt a deep pit inside my stomach when he told me that but i thought it was a lie and that he was just trying to get me to be jealous, like always. today i saw a picture of him with her he put as his profile picture on whatsapp. i had the worst panic attack i've ever had and threw up on the floor (and partly on my poor cat). i cant believe this sick joke i'm emotionally destroyed but objectivaly i also feel so played. i wasted all my youth on this man, i'm almost 30, i dont have dating experience because i was always after him, i dont have a stable situation because i relied on him finally finishing college to live from his money (like he promised me), and now that this piece of shit has money and makes 10k a month he's out of my life? i sound so superficial but somehow it adds to the suffering. and the girl is younger than me of course, he made sure to tell me she was 21. i feel like the dumbest bitch, look at me being considered old by moids, alone, no money, no family, no friends, depressed and ready to do the craziest shit for money because i hate myself and my life. oh and also i gave him my virginity last year after he told me we couldn't keep going without physical intimacy despite him knowing that i was traumatized about sex, he fucked me, made me suck his dick and all the fun things i still have nightmares about. funny how that goes, a few months after that he was leaving me after 14 years of crazy love?? it's almost like he just wanted to take my body as retribution for all the trouble he went through all those years with me, and when he had it he finally felt free of me and left me like the useless dirtbag that i am. i can't even pay rent anymore, i'm unemployed because of this severe depressive episode.
i'm so close to just selling my body, for all it's worth now anyway i have nothing to lose, and it's not like i have a mother, a father, siblings or friends to care about what happens to me? i should go for it, i think i will nonnies. 27 years of virginity to be played like that. take this post as a warning to never be as retarded as me please.
No. 1480460
>>1480454i'm doubleposting i'm so sorry ignore me, but despite all of this i still love him so much and i wish i could stop feeling this horrifying pain in my heart, the picture of him and her being happy is destroying my mind, she was smiling next to him oh my god how can people love you so deeply and then stop loving you to love another person instead? how does this work, tell me? why is she so smug i want to burn them both i feel so pathetic i thought i was mature but look at me having my first heartbreak at 29 and acting like a fool about it, i don't even recognize myself. he's touching her now i can't stop torturing myself with these thoughts, i supported this man throughout all his teenage years and most of his adult life and now that he's settled and ready to live life i don't exist? she just came into his life so quickly, as if i never existed? and this bitch gets to enjoy the money he never had for me, too. aaaah why am i so petty and childish but this feels so unfair because it seems like she has everything and i had nothing, she has the grown accomplished man ready to marry and i had the dumb, horny and broke child? i didn't even get to enjoy his money fucking useless moid. life really is doing me dirty since day one, maybe i deserve it
No. 1480461
>>1480454Oh no, I'm so sorry this happened to you nonna, I imagine it's hard to not feel used after being treated like this… I know men are sociopathic so often but can't help being shocked every time I come across a story like what happened to you. Hope you can find some support, I know you've said you have no friends but maybe even for starters a place like lolcow can keep you grounded and remember that moids are just not worth all this. You'll be better off becoming radicalized about unfairness of relationships and cruelty of men than harm yourself by selling your body. 27 is still young, you still have life ahead of you. It will take time to heal from this awful mess you got tangled in but you can still start over, not for anyone else but for yourself. Block that guy everywhere, delete anything that would remind you of him, I know it will be hard but it's necessary to heal. Don't do anything stupid too, I'm just a stranger on the internet but I worry about you. Things won't be ok for a while for sure, but I'm really rooting for you here, you can get yourself out of this.
No. 1480467
>>1480454I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this
nonnie, your ex is a piece of shit. But please don’t give up like this. You still have so much time to make things right, most peoples’ lives barely start at 30, regardless of whatever moids made you believe. You’re not washed up or useless, you deserve to be cared for, but you need to care for yourself first to protect yourself. You had a job once, you can always get one again, this is not the end of the world even if it may seem like it right now. I know it’s easier said than done but forget about that retarded moid, besides if it’s any consolation there’s no guarantee he won’t leave her later either. Things will get better with time, you got this.
No. 1480488
File: 1674561824442.png (94.69 KB, 419x377, h4rr.png)
>see reddit moid comment about his preferences
>UNDER 25 SKINNY SMALL FEET FIT CUTE FACE
>feel bad about myself
>think about the moid user who wrote it
>realize chances are i wouldn't want to fuck him or touch him at all
Quite a bruh moment for me. Yes, all moids have insane preferences I don't fit. But why do I care even about the opinion of moids I don't like? The ugliest most gingerest manlet 50 year old could be like "hurr I want a short curvy latina", and my brain would go "noooooooo I don't fit those requirements!!". It's fucking retarded of me. Especially the age thing often feels like a punch in the gut, at 26 I'm now at an age where some guys my own age are looking for younger. It's such a weird feeling I didn't think I'd experience until like 40. It just feels absurd, like I wouldn't fuck 90% of males out there. Yet I mentally torture myself with this shit.
No. 1480562
>>1480540Unlike moids, I actually want to connect with and be able to relate to my partner. The young ones don't have life experience, don't know what they want yet, stuff like that. I just want to settle down.
Though there's this 19 year old who's been after me since he was 15 kek, he recently texted me "hey I'm 19 now" as if I'd been waiting for him to become old enough. It doesn't matter that he's cute because in my eyes that's literally a child.
No. 1480568
>>1480562Most older men don’t have life experience either other than sexual experience. Any experiences they do have they don’t learn from them or remember them. There is no difference between a 19 year old and a 25 year old
>I want to settle downMost men 25-35 don’t want to settle down unless they are ugly or poor or the woman is extremely extraordinary in some way. If you actually want to settle down unfortunately you’re going to have to go after the 50+ age range.
No. 1480584
File: 1674574659473.jpg (93.84 KB, 461x600, 8935749284.jpg)
Around 2:30 AM, I heard a some commotion outside my house (some guy yelling, speeding cars). I woke up to my mom telling me that near our neighbor's house 1) there had been a crash 2) a man was shot to death. wtf man
No. 1480615
File: 1674578288230.jpeg (135.37 KB, 600x600, 1661517249520.jpeg)
All my life, I've been waiting for a good time.
No. 1480621
File: 1674579580769.jpeg (103.5 KB, 678x760, 5B4F3B1F-C8F9-4481-BDE6-D54700…)
I’ve been working 50+ hour week at work for months now and it’s still not enough. Every paycheck is for rent, bills, gas or food. Whats left goes towards student loans. I’m feel like I can’t escape this situation. I can’t work my way out of this no matter how hard I try. The jobs don’t pay enough, the rent is never cheap enough. I started crying at the grocery store because I’m just surviving on beans and rice, and ramen at this point. No new clothes, can’t go out to eat, can’t go to the movies or even the fucking museum. I just want it to get better.
No. 1480645
>>1480637this is really unscientific but i think a lot of us just have weaker skin around the anus so are more prone to this kind of thing. i get hemorrhoids all the time despite not having been constipated in years, i really think the skin there is just thin and prone to damage tbh.
also exercise might be making it worse? i get more hemorrhoids when im doing lots of walking every day
No. 1480727
File: 1674588517610.jpg (36.44 KB, 563x401, 0c324ff759f282e7d9c1bb78ee5ada…)
No. 1480736
>>1480145TYSM I literally needed this. I hate being baby coddled with Ana thoughts and this slap of reality was good.
Also other girls afraid to be ana chan again, do what I just did and scroll through the ED threat in snow. Never felt so good to eat before
No. 1480744
>>1480641Yes, I work an office job and I sit all day.
>>1480645It's so cringe because none of my sisters suffer from this, but my dad does. But that is an interesting theory.
>>1480647No, but I'm now thinking about it. What would they even say or do? It's obviously fissures.
No. 1480817
File: 1674595792025.jpg (143.45 KB, 736x552, c2596f2b909b278b7425bdc44d444a…)
>>1480754you're welcome
nonny ♥ I posted it to bump the raid off. here's a candy for you
No. 1480874
File: 1674601202319.jpeg (114.05 KB, 1170x890, 5F3992F4-F75B-48D8-B35D-E6E8C2…)
>>1480862we are in this together
No. 1480878
File: 1674601490064.jpg (7.49 KB, 256x256, c53b8efc3ebc0fa6df3455bddeb3a5…)
>Be me
>Be sad in a huge city full of people because most of them have families/friends/a partner and it constantly reminds me of how lonely I am
>Be sad in a small city because of small population with few opportunities to meet someone new and where everyone keeps to their own circle
I wish I wasn't so retarded
No. 1480894
>>1480888Thank you
nonny! I really need to stop moping and start putting myself out there
No. 1480908
>>1480488>at 26 I'm now at an age where some guys my own age are looking for youngerAnon, trust me, you do not want to do anything with those types of guys.
yes there are now many of them because of red pill coaches bullshit but relationship with those sort of guys is hell even when you are younger.
t. 29 year old who was once a 22 year old in a relationship with a 28 year old piece of shit moid who was looking for "younger women" who could tolerate his bullshit
No. 1480910
File: 1674604700547.jpg (19.4 KB, 516x384, 1483820218000.jpg)
Just two more months….I can do it….I'll survive
No. 1480921
File: 1674606511761.jpg (40.35 KB, 735x480, tumblr_700e27d7ea7993b0f762993…)
>Read about shittok music drama
>Go on it to see what the hell they're talking about
>Posers whining about gatekeeping goth/metal/"everything must be inclusionary and accessible to everyone!" Sexualizes women of subculture they'll never be a part of
>Find hottest man I have ever seen in my life
>He's a troon supporting, misogynist, edgy, gore watching, zoomer thirst trapper
This is worse than when I went down a rabbit hole and found a whole community of twitter pedo/gore artists from basic anime art. Males should be kept in cages and beaten for breathing if they can't act right, I'm growing more and more misandric by the day. Night ruined all because we like the same genre of music
No. 1480941
File: 1674608657805.png (359.85 KB, 566x328, 1667504514513.png)
>>1480940100+ dollars, pregnancy. I have nothing against it but drawing it reminds me of the fact that I'm infertile and will never be able to have children, and despite me putting "female characters in bad situations" as my "Nos" there's an uncomfortable amount of maledom and situations that are morally gray in it. I'm in too deep that refunding and scraping it would be a waste.
No. 1480972
File: 1674612002652.jpg (154.58 KB, 736x981, a8309c67d79da0868753e1f1e7c093…)
I hate myself.
No. 1480999
File: 1674613885139.jpg (39.72 KB, 960x925, cat (21).jpg)
I get scared that my social anxiety makes people see me as an "angry black woman". It's happened to me multiple times, when sometimes assumes I'm angry or upset when in I actually just feel anxious or introverted. Sometimes I'm not even anxious but I'm just quiet because that's who I naturally am. When I talk and engage with someone I seem more kind, but of course I sometimes have to be more straightforward and that sticks out more to people than everything else I say and do. I just don't know the art of being blunt but gentle. It's like I have to be cheerful and constantly chatty all the time for people to not think I'm angry and that's just not who I am.
No. 1481022
File: 1674615727441.gif (6.42 MB, 774x691, 1623953109451.gif)
>>1480936I have enough money to leave home
No. 1481029
File: 1674616073855.gif (5.37 MB, 426x498, 1663980348825.gif)
>>1480941>9 pages>100 dollarsnonnie tell me you aren't fucking serious lmao
No. 1481062
>>1481060>>1481056>>1481058Fuck. I figured because my art isn't good I should charge like 11 per page, + and extra 2 dollars per page for each character added along with an extra fee for complex backgrounds. Don't tell me I've been giving myself extremely depressive thoughts over drawing maledom pregnancy porn for cheap. I just wanted to scrounge up some disposable cash for a new video game coming out next month and a figurine.
>It sounds like you're spending a lot of time on this, too….An uncomfortable amount, worse part I don't know if it's polite to draw other stuff while working on commissions so I haven't been able to draw what I actually like at all while working on this.
No. 1481099
>>1481089All I can do is hope other people see it too, I guess. It's frustrating. A few days ago I posted something positive that happened to me and she immediately made it about her sob story, so everyone in chat ignored what I said and kissed her ass instead.
>>1481095>woe is me pity partyThis is exactly it.
No. 1481100
File: 1674625102722.png (514.35 KB, 750x768, EB0280B8-7CDF-446E-A8CD-F300A4…)
Having an extremely slow and subtle mental health crisis for the past month or so. I keep spiraling. Not having any extreme emotions, just pure burnt out nothingness. I freelance and haven’t worked in 2 weeks by choice. I was on a roll and then my internet went down for like 3 days and it killed all of my momentum. I keep making excuse after excuse. I’m also in school and humiliated myself by doing an assignment incorrectly because I can’t focus in class. At this point idk which of my 20 mental illnesses are causing this. As a self employed person I don’t have insurance, I can afford a basic doctor and meds but not a psych. So all I can do is ask for pills and hope they work. I’m starting Prozac again next week… If this doesn’t help idk what to try next. I think I’m going to quit weed too. Idk send me good healing vibes or whatever <3
No. 1481118
File: 1674628146373.jpeg (38.57 KB, 324x470, BC0EE593-5FF0-4D1E-B8A1-51B8FF…)
Realized how much the shift lead I dislike resembles pixielocks and now I dislike her even more
>self diagnosed autist
>believes she’s autist due to TikTok
>makes backhanded comments in a “joking” way
>does fuck all during her shifts (asks others to do her tasks, is on her phone or conveniently disappears when it’s busy)
>blames it on being autistic
>BPD rage whenever things don’t go her way
>cries that she’s being bullied when enough people complained to management about her
>kept her job, but still is an insufferable bitch to everyone around her
>permavictim
>straight up looks like her
I’m compiling a list of fucked up comments she’s made to hopefully bring to managements attention again, and a bunch of the new hires are annoyed with her too so hopefully they’ll do something about her this time.
No. 1481150
File: 1674636454081.jpeg (111.48 KB, 1020x574, 196507EA-F3D6-4D67-826B-675EA3…)
Last night I heard the dogs in the neighborhood barking up a storm. Usually it because of the stray cats we get walking around since my mom likes to feed them, turns out there was a person prowling around the front of our house at 1AM.The ring camera detected movement but we couldnt see anyone because of the angle. This happened yesterday night and I’m still on edge right now. All I can think about is creepy ring recordings of moids trying to break into peoples houses
Hold me anons!!
No. 1481196
File: 1674647819176.png (171.9 KB, 450x403, family_shinseki_dukiai_nigate_…)
I still hold a small grudge over the fact that my s/o thinks it's selfish that I get sad and anxious during Christmas (not in public of course) because every Christmas reminds me that nobody cares about me here, and his family will never want to get closer to me or get to know me, when all i have are my grandparents who i haven't seen for 3 years. I always put so much effort into gifts and I am extremely lonely, can't even find IRL friends because of my chronic disease. Idk i feel like an asshole for almost fighting with him over it but goddammit, are my feeling really invalid? I know people will never understand that unless they themselves escape their country and have no chance of seeing your family for a long time. Idk nonnas, i am so tired. Every time I try explaining to anyone nobody gives a shit. Are my feelings about it really that invalid? I really don't get it.
No. 1481199
File: 1674648336603.jpg (7.61 KB, 236x227, 28c248e93314a47b1e02ab51988e61…)
I meet a really nice and sweet anon trough the friend finder thread but then I got overwhelmed with work so I didn't reply to her for a while. I did get back to her but now she hasn't replied to me in months and I feel so sad. I wish I hadn't ghosted her in the first place because she was really sweet and I want to continue our conversation
No. 1481230
>>1479599I am just like you nonacita (minus the GL). Would drop my contact info if I didn't have a hard time keeping up with things online. Maybe someday our paths will cross again!
>>1480127>watchingMany of us are artists/writers honing our skills doesn't matter if it's not for you.
No. 1481238
>>1479599fuck i feel you
nonnie. i just want to sperg about degen content and
problematic ships, fics and hcs with other fujos who aren't dumbass pickmes and/or ftms. i feel like many of them exist but they're impossible to get in touch with.
No. 1481257
>>1481236nta but ghosting is a 2 way street. so many anons (and people in general) have stupid "don't message first" policies that put the responsibility on the other person to initiate conversation. it's annoying because if you're trying to befriend someone
both parties need to make an effort. not to say that happened to you, but if anons never initiated conversation after you stopped, it's also on them.
No. 1481283
>>1481085 here
She did it again. I'm going insane.
No. 1481335
File: 1674660778100.jpg (69.79 KB, 680x1020, ffd.jpg)
Nonnies, I fucking hate this Assignment, but I legit do not get it.
I'm about to ask 4chan to do it for me, or at least guide me because if I do not submit the thing, I will LITERALLY fail my class. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
No. 1481340
hi anon. i used to be on cymbalta and it worked pretty well until it didnt. i was terrified of anything worsening if i kept on it, not to mention a year into cymbalta i slipped into a short drug addiction im now sober from. so i just wanted to cleanse myself, including from cymbalta which i know wasnt smart and the brain zaps lasted forever. it was months before they stopped and i finally felt happy again. i was doing well. but slowly these thoughts have been coming back, and its reaching a peak these past two weeks where i feel unable to let it pass as usual. i have therapy twice a month and i eat clean, mostly sleep enough, and get a decent amount of exercise which could be improved. i engage with coping skills and do my therapist’s homework but yet its like im trying for no reward toward the end. lately i compulsively browse imageboards or subreddits dedicated to my specific shithole job which makes me hurt more. i look at myself in the mirror and cry for hours, i ruminate about my future. meditation helps but its hard to be consistent with it when the urge to be gone is more pressing. deep down i dont want it but i find it hard to continue living when im pushing with no reward. i know i sound ungrateful but its my mind and the hurt that i really wish wasnt here. my dreams are so out of reach, im so fearful and struggling financially while still living in a very abusive household. i feel stuck but im fearful because im unsure what to do with my degree and how to afford leaving my home life and how ill land a good job in between it all. i have childish dreams of sailing and being with animals so lately i just sleep and feel safe and happy when i dream of them. but then reality comes full force…and im miserable at my job, im lonely, im happy thato nline classes gives me freedom but i have no money or things to do outside of the room ive now become physically sick of. i try not to compare my life anymore, but its more so feeling delusional because i cant be happy. i want to think i deserve that. i havent done bad things, but i want to feel safe and secure and okay. like im okay, and things are okay or will be okay. but ti feels like im walking blindly into something that wont ever get better.
i also have cptsd, depression, anxiety disorder, and past eating disorder. ive wondered about pmdd (its been suggested) or even autism or bipolar but im nervous to assess these things as i dont know how much it would help me, and above all i just want peace and to be away. anyway i mention this to give insight. i take vyvanse and supplements, the vyvanse really is good for me so long as im not suicidal (it makes me ruminate more) and so long as i eat (i can get a bit sad and have to nap once it wears off). i used to take ativan which helped my anxiety but as things got better i cut it entirely for months and felt nice still. but started abusing it a couple of days ago again.
i worry about being remedicated because how it could make me gain weight or stunt my creativity or make me entirely emotionless. cymbalta was nice but i felt stunted sometimes and it didnt work forever, i know they dont, but what if this all happens again? is cymbalta worth trying if its just going to be more of a waste of time than not being here anymore?
sorry. thank you for reading
No. 1481366
File: 1674662600918.jpg (17.59 KB, 419x233, screenshot15567.jpg)
How can I stop being jealous that my siblings got a better childhood than me? Does anyone have experience with this? Thanks
No. 1481372
Nonas I need to share this because I feel like this is the only place I think I can.
So I’m working in a sexist-ish european country. The old men have that benign sexism going on, the younger ones can be like “so women want equality but they -“. There’s a certain line they don’t cross. So today a coworker i get on with alright was saying ah you guys need to watch some womens athletic sports, the uniforms are great etc etc, implications clear. 3 men and myself and I didn’t say anything. I was googling how to deal with sexism in the workplace and sort of hyping myself up to say something, because i can generally speak my mind with this coworker. Later on when I was alone with him i started to say it, i said earlier when you were saying that stuff…and it got caught in my throat. I just started to shake my head, eventually choked out that I didn’t think it was appropriate and he apologised. But it was like the floodgates opened for me. I figured if I distracted myself with my work the tears welling up would go away, but once a few started falling i put my stuff away and made away to the bathrooms because obviously i needed to have a little cry. What i got instead was full on choking sobs for i don't know how long, I couldn’t stop. Like it wasn’t just about what my coworker said, it was about all the comments at work. Whenever someone said something like that I would tut or roll my eyes or dismiss it vocally, but it’s absolutely not the same as directly saying to someone in all seriousness that it’s not ok to do. I came out of that bathroom 1.5 hours later. I wish i could say I feel better having done it but I don’t. I’m typing this out on the commute home with a steady stream of tears.
No. 1481391
File: 1674664082162.png (43 KB, 782x80, ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss…)
>>1481344???? I'm freaking out, I need 1% to pass. This has been harder than the final.
No. 1481401
>>1481296If you haven't, please tell him it's very important to you he clean up after himself. Give him the upside to this; if he keeps the area clean while you're not around, when you are around you won't have to be so stressed and you're able to fully focus on doing fun things together.
I had to do this with my bf recently. I repeated myself I think about three days in a row to let it get to his head.
Moids can't read minds and asking him to help you often should give him a sense to feel needed and important. Because it's either he simply help clean or you eventually have a mental breakdown from being overwhelmed from all the things you're dealing with.
It's his choice to witness a happier, calmer you or a you that can barely give him attention because you're too busy and exhausted.
No. 1481443
>>1481398Thank you nona, my friends were telling me I shouldn't say anything because I had a hard time even being liked in this team, but I couldn't shake the feeling I should. At least the one I spoke to apologised and didn't put it on me, I'm sorry you had that reaction.
And god, it IS hard. It's really really hard, and so much harder than kind of dismissing them in a way that makes it easy for them to dismiss you. I thought I found a middle ground between oppressed silence and being a pariah. But integrating my disapproval into the conversations vibe just makes them think there's no real consequence or harm in saying these things. Now that I've had a few hours to calm down I'm kind of proud of myself too (and you, nona).
No. 1481498
>>1481451I have bunions on both feet but mine don't hurt. I'm also a ballet dancer since childhood so I have no idea why I've got no pain (I've got ankle issues tho). I've considered trying to get one of those alignment tools to fix the bone and make my feet look prettier but it seems like too much effort so I've just left em alone.
Unless they hurt then I don't think it's a big deal. Especially if you aren't active in a sport then it should be fine.
No. 1481502
>>1481498Same anon; sorry I missed the part where you said it hurts.
>>1481451 Go to a podiatrist anon and get some Dr Scholls shoes or arch/foot inserts to wear. Take care of yourself anon!!!
No. 1481509
File: 1674672545484.jpg (Spoiler Image,28.13 KB, 720x654, 123069e571118de65e9f7c0491edc2…)
Everytime I say I won't go out without a sports bra but every now and again I mess up. Fuck chaffed nips and I'm not even home yet.
No. 1481598
File: 1674676523086.jpg (43.15 KB, 600x562, c2c.jpg)
It's too tragic. My life has been fucked since day 1. If I didn't have a cat I would off myself honestly.
No. 1481637
File: 1674678610688.jpeg (112.93 KB, 640x427, 4B4ADC54-6DE3-4021-AC25-CEABF7…)
is it possible to live as a free spirit and just do side jobs or multiple hobbies than can pay or something? how do some girls do this? im okay with finishing my degree but i really would love to move to a new area and explore and be able to do everything i dream of while supporting myself. i always wonder what these girls do, the ones that dont have to work or pay bills, it seems so lovely. but maybe im comparing too much. maybe i should keep trying to do what i love, do my college courses and freelance so i can quit this terrible job and someday save up to move, sooner than later. and id be so happy and with peace and i can get a decently paying service job if needed or just do side gigs for a bit until it maybe doesnt work out. no hurt in trying if i go with savings. then i can have my bachelors! i can truly take my time on it. why am i rushing? why am i worrying and hurting myself for feeling weak and scared? its so simple isnt it. just do and dont think, quit the job and freelance or work on a cruise ship or something and save up, work on your degree, move and have freedom and peace and places to explore and find a better job if needed and do all of your artwork and be so happy! it can be possible right? maybe i should start these goals while im living at home anyway. start allowing myself to do what i love again. deal with the job as needed and be thankful for the money and do my best in my courses and since im lonely i have plenty of time to work on writing and crafts and music and explore nature and take sailing courses and then finally i can leave the job and maybe move and finish my degree inbetween and use my savings while job searching get a nice little place even with an old lady roommate and id just work less than 40 hours making ends meet and id get a pet dog and go boating and wed go on hikes and id finally be happy. id finally be so happy if it all came true! i just need to make a plan maybe. somewhere to start. a written dream plan.
No. 1481823
File: 1674690166669.jpg (132.93 KB, 470x353, ned.jpg)
Stop making me leave my fucking house!!!!!!!
No. 1481878
File: 1674694887617.jpg (67.73 KB, 1280x715, tumblr_99b2acfdca4bb35dfc53fcf…)
No more
No. 1482103
File: 1674708582632.jpeg (19.87 KB, 236x314, 284360D1-E204-4820-80D9-048F8B…)
Last week my husband threw a brick at a tiny baby raccoon and squished it
I literally can't get over it. That was unnecessarily cruel. Just leave it and it will find its way out of the yard on its own, it doesn't deserve to die a violent death being squished by a brick.
I know I'm a softie. I cried every day this week thinking about it. I can't get the image out of my head. I think about the poor mother raccoon looking for her baby and finding it squished under a brick. It was so tiny, just bigger than a can of beans
And the worst part is my husband was laughing about it. He literally didn't have to do that. It's not funny. Just leave it alone, or hoist it out of the yard with a shovel or something, or call the animal service or LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE EXCEPT KILLING IT WITH A BRICK OF ALL THINGS
I hope raccoons don't have feelings
No. 1482268
File: 1674717064774.png (565.41 KB, 1182x1401, sad beige teething rings.png)
Sad beige parents with sad beige babies are going to hell!
No. 1482273
File: 1674717445264.jpg (237.17 KB, 1920x1920, tr_4ba9fb01-57e5-431a-b2f0-84c…)
>>1482271The problem is that children should have color in their life, and it's ugly.
No. 1482303
>>1482284But nonna, he dipped. He's
not showing you attention nor is he worth yours.
No. 1482321
File: 1674724640360.jpeg (267.55 KB, 1920x1080, 2D1DDBD3-1CA5-425D-9AEB-703354…)
I know Bluey is like the most popular kids characters rn but I still really love Peppa. I find her and the show so adorable.
No. 1482378
>>1482371My belief is that every woman deals with low value men, it's just a matter of if they will admit it happens to them.
Makes sense when you remember even the brokest, most ugly men think they are entitled to models who will provide for them. It's a tough subject to cop to because we've been conditioned that the type of men we attract means something is defective about us, not that all men just shoot their shot regardless.
No. 1482382
>>1482376>he knows I'm marriedDoesn't matter to some men, they just like playing the long game and consider your marriage a mere obstacle. If they're smart they will not overstep unless you give them the greenlight to do so. What do you know about this guy truly and how do you know that he isn't as friendly towards several other women he has interest in? No way a guy invests social energy into a married woman for years with platonic friendship on his mind.
Sounds like it hasn't emotionally served you yet to keep this man in your life. Block.
No. 1482431
>>1481335update.
I DID NOT ASK 4CHAN
I DID ENDED UP JUST DOING IT
AND I SOMEHOW GOT A SUPER AMAZING COMPLIMENT AND I PASSED
AM I JUST SUPER ANXIOUS?
No. 1482432
>>1482431congrats
nonny!!
No. 1482637
I am so sick of my BPD childhood best friend and hate that I keep getting sucked into her nonsense. She oscillates between me being her FP and wanting a monopoly over my attention, getting upset and raging on me if I don't talk to her on the phone for hours a day, to completely tossing me aside randomly, being cold and icing me out. She was more malicious when we were kids, when she would make up a bunch of sock accounts to online date me as a teenager (I'm autistic so I was really naive and didn't realize all of these accounts were just her playing with my emotions for her amusement). When we were kids she got me a friendship necklace then flushed it down the toilet ans gaslit me into thinking I lost it for over a decade, I could go on and on with more examples. There have been a few times I cut contact with her and I think I might want to for good because I genuinely get nothing out of this friendship and never have, she was just the only person who didn't shun me for being an autist growing up because she had fun controlling me.
Last night she flipped out and started splitting on me because I post feminist content on my instagram stories, but I'm not a "real" supporter of women because I said something as a joke to her on some stupid online game she's obsessed with that she took seriously. She also said that being a feminist makes me look unhinged and like I have emotional problems. I'm so sick of her switching up on me. She also constantly gets high and makes sexual comments towards me even though I'm not interested and she knows that. I feel like she sees me as a toy or a plaything or a sidekick, not a real human being. She makes me feel so worthless inside, like I'm not worthy of having an identity, but our (admittedly not even good) history of around 20 years as "friends" (i.e. her controlling me and playing with my emotions) keeps me from blocking her even though I really want to. She makes me feel like I am mentally trapped in hell.
No. 1482656
>>1482651Welp we found the bully that’s own mom dislikes them.
>>1482633I’m sorry anon moids stay moids.
No. 1482675
>>1482103>>1482154We don't have children, thankfully. We do have a cat (my cat, from long before we got married) who I now keep an eye on as much as humanly possible
>>1482135>>1482158He never did anything like that before, to my knowledge. He was always good and sweet and kind. That is, until he threw the brick. Now I'll never see him the same way again.
>>1482163>raccoons do have feelingsThat just makes me even sadder about it. The baby raccoon must have been terrified just sitting and minding its own business when all of a sudden something 2000x its size rushes up to it and just pelts a heavy object down on top of it
>>1482168I literally can't get over what he did. I just can't justify it at all. It was like the least necessary thing to be done. He didn't have to kill it, it wasn't bothering anything. It would have left the yard on its own eventually, he didn't have to go out of his way to brutally kill it. I don't even want to look outside because I will cry if i see its body again and I don't think he removed it from the yard (probably expects me to do it because I'm the one responsible for housework, including cleaning the yard)
>>1482203>>1482244I currently sleep on the couch because I can't handle being around him anymore. What the hell happenedto him to make him do such a cruel thing I don't know. In a few days I will take my cat and go stay with my friend for a little while until I can pull myself together enough to move forward. Divorce could take a little while because I'm a housewife who only works part time, also i need my husband's health insurance
>>1482259I care very much about animals, especially the small fuzzy ones
No. 1482736
>>1482717Ofc I have various other issues, but school and the treatment I received there and lack of any help from adults fucked me up further, I've been in and out of therapy since I was 11 and no one was able to notice I was autistic until I was a fully grown adult and searched for specialist help on my own. I'm done with psychiatry though because I wasted too much time on therapy and too much money on various drugs that never improved my life in
any way, only gave me fucked up side effects at best. My dream is to publically doxx everyone who hurt me and I don't give a fuck if that will ruin me, then I want to do a couple of other things. If I have to go I will go with a bang.
No. 1482839
File: 1674767857759.png (159.17 KB, 559x371, 1673938739506.png)
I'm so tired of hearing about trannies. I just want the world to be normal again
No. 1482875
File: 1674770683915.jpg (83.06 KB, 600x368, oregon-road-rage-defense.jpg)
I cannot stand people who get roadrage. Driving is already dangerous, chill the fuck out. And even worse are those people who will follow you, get out of their car, or shoot at someone because of their roadrage. It will never be that fucking serious, fucking crazy ass psycho children.
No. 1482880
>>1482875Yes, this is why i’m so scared of driving too.
Some woman sometime this month in my area got shot and killed because of some retarded ugly-ass moid getting road rage. Fucking infuriating, she had two kids as well I think, so sad.
No. 1482954
File: 1674778788407.jpg (44.78 KB, 600x734, 96943a36e13306172b5764f7e1288e…)
I'm annoyed because I took a shower like an hour ago not really realizing I had to poop, and now I just had to poop out of my freshly washed ass. Ugh.
No. 1482980
File: 1674781168575.jpeg (19.51 KB, 236x236, 1673911184457.jpeg)
i took two 100mg edibles 2 hours ago why dont i feel anything reeeeeeeeeeeeee i s2g if i need to take another ~tolerance break~ this is not the fucking timeeeeeee
No. 1483014
File: 1674784866949.jpg (30.05 KB, 344x252, 1661257332507.jpg)
Failed my driving test again for the 4th time. I think dmvs are a huge fucking scam where instructors are intended to have you fail over stupid minor things and try to eat up all of your money on some plastic card. Fuck this shit. I hate driving so much but I NEED it to get through my daily life without relying on people all the time. I'm trying really hard here and it's already taking a toll on my anxiety and mental health. I can't help but cry and beat myself over this shit. 24 and still no license.
No. 1483017
File: 1674785011439.jpg (56.14 KB, 736x733, 9199b668e9002168066d5d0fc9b212…)
I really thought that dating would get better once I grow older but apparently not because it's the same shit as it was during my teens. I'm close to 30 yet moids still don't have the patience to wait for sex. Sorry not sorry I'm not gonna sleep with a new dude every couple of weeks or months. Enjoy your STD's you manwhores.
No. 1483041
File: 1674788296621.png (8.98 KB, 200x219, 1645673229424.png)
its hard to accept that the ppl who told me they were like my mother and father in lieu of my own (alive) parents werent as down as they said they were. like how are you gonna tell a 19yr old that you're they're new parents and then remove yourself entirely from their life a few yrs later. anyway i guess i should start lying when you ask if i need money bcus now im working im alright but id be better if i had nice shoes. regardless i miss you guys so much and i cry every single day over it. my own parents AND "adoptive" parents combined forgot my birthday this year and they've all known me for 15+yrs. i just need to know who gives 7/8ths of a shit so i can cut everyone else out and focus on the ppl who matter
No. 1483063
>>1483058ily
nonnie they were trying to gaslight me like i know im retarded but not THAT retarded
>>1483062i wish u luck with the special ed tutor anon
No. 1483137
File: 1674803600565.jpg (53.33 KB, 564x889, 5d9f65b52b7a0cf374750e6a651024…)
Sometimes I believe my friends secretly dislike me or that they only keep me around to laugh at me. I hate feeling this way, because I really like them as friends but I can't take off this feeling.
No. 1483214
File: 1674813822351.jpeg (49.14 KB, 750x750, D32480E5-8BD7-4665-BB74-DD857C…)
>>1481933Still suffering. Still alone. Still can't tell time, did something productive and still felt dead inside and out. Who the fuck is doing this to me, I don't think mental illness even makes the human body this fucking sick. This unwilling to move. It's sensory murder. Feels like someone's poisoning me. Just make it stop already. I deserve to feel alive again. I deserve to feel alive.
No. 1483220
>>1483186Lmao I just
knew anons were going to blame you for this
>its your fault you attract gross scrotes!! You teach them to abuse you!!!>Maybe you're a basic, uninteresting and superficial :)Every time
No. 1483238
>>1483186One thing I’d say about men is they at best meet your lowest expectations. No man will ever have the drive to be a serious boyfriend unless having sex/companionship with you is under threat by offers from other men. You didn’t give enough detail i think but are you being duped by these men or does the dynamic just sort of go that way?
As an unfortunate looking woman I’ve managed to bag better looking men striving for commitment from me because I’m steadfast in my expectations. I don’t want plain casual sex, I want to be sexually exclusive and I want a boyfriend, not a fuck buddy. They’ll try initially wrangle you into something casual and have sex before “labels” are discussed but if they’re not successful they’ll acquiesce. I’m not saying it’s successful every time but it’s never not worked for me. It’s a shame that these games are necessary.
No. 1483245
>>1483186I've seen posts before where nonnies who refer to themselves as ugly will claim that pretty girls get commitment pretty easily. That once you're pretty life just falls into place and dating is easy. I don't think its that black and white. The same issues still come up. You probably are pretty decent looking but that doesn't change how men are. They still have this mindset where chasing as much sex for as little commitment as possible is the game. They still want to date out of their league and not even make up for the looks difference by treating you well half the time. Its a battle to narrow down a guy who isn't playing that 'take as much as I can while giving as little as possible' game.
I don't know how old you are but with age (and after accumulating enough bad dating experiences) you get a bit better at weeding out the bad ones and setting standards. Which is why men chase younger. To try and stay ahead of anyone learning how to deal with the same old shit they pull.
No. 1483260
>>1483238This was helpful I am going to try to just withhold sex from now on
I usually give in because i actually do really like sex and I have poor self control so when it starts heading that direction it’s hard for me to say no to it
>>1483220Lmaoooo exactly, I see this kind of shit all the time on here, I expected it too
>>1483245You’re absolutely right
nonnie it is always a game of how little effort can I put in and get sex to come out for them
No. 1483263
>>1483260>that was helpfulShe literally said the same thing as me
>>1483189 she just kissed your ass more
No. 1483351
File: 1674829718442.jpg (28 KB, 739x415, images.jpeg-24.jpg)
>>1483348Cheers. heres to one less moid.
No. 1483394
File: 1674834052110.jpeg (86.63 KB, 1080x1489, DC870C08-F5A1-4D55-B493-4308E5…)
I was actually looking forward to going back to college but every single day I have wanted to kill myself more than ever. The smallest things bother me, I'm so tired by the time I get home that I feel like passing out after talking to my friends for just a few minutes, and I've been noticing myself shaking more. I passed by a moid in the hallway yesterday who went "wanna hear a funny joke?" I said no and he backed off but I want to kill him so bad. Also my dog got her first period and it makes me sad.
No. 1483415
>>1483377Years ago I was dating a guy. We're walking somewhere and I point out a caterpillar on the path in front of us. idk what type it was but you rarely see them where I live so its kind of cool looking. I'm just saying to watch out for it.. what does he do? He stops. Dramatically stomps on it and grins at me like an idiot. We werent teens. He was older than me. It was a weird moment. Followed by him staring at me hoping that I was either upset or shocked I guess?
Guy turned out to be a psycho. Perma stuck in his edgy teen phase, would do things to get a rise out of people and then gasp at how sensitive people are when he desperately wanted that reaction in the first place. We went out to dinner one time and there was a woman with down syndrome clearing tables. Doing her job no problem. He talks about her like we're at the zoo observing an animal. He has a kid now and hes.. pretty severely autistic.
No. 1483424
File: 1674837047052.jpg (115.47 KB, 840x630, chiyopapa.jpg)
I wanna vent about something but I feel like it'll be interpreted as bait, so instead I'll vent about my inability to vent.
No. 1483519
File: 1674841693403.jpg (37.56 KB, 1045x933, FB_IMG_1671118245855.jpg)
I messed up hard by spreading my ex-boyfriend's secret while blackout drunk and his friend group goes haywire, my ex goes in hiding and returns, he messes shit up in mine and I go in hiding, both during new year. 3 days ago he gave me an offer, to fix what I started and make everything nice again and also have everyone get along again so I don't have to hide and I agreed. I tell my current boyfriend about it so he isn't in the dark and he's been going through some shit. Keeps telling me to cut contact, how he is afraid I'm going to leave him for my ex and believes that he never deserved a good relationship to begin with. I understand why he'd be so upset about me talking to my ex but I'm literally proving to him each time that it's nothing more than "business" and that I'm as hurt as he is. Fixing this'll also help me sleep better since I betrayed my ex and genuinely hurt him. I'm guilt ridden. I want to.. make up for it.
My boyfriend is really upset and thinks I'm just desperate to keep close to him, but we both want to move on. Today he gave me an ultimatum, drop what I'm doing or he'll leave me. He isn't a controlling guy so don't get the wrong idea but I don't know what the fuck to do. My heart wants to heal.
No. 1483548
>>1483540I wish I still had a libido or found any person, real or fictitious, sexually attractive anymore.
>>1483519So what was the secret, you can tell us,
nonny.
No. 1483637
>>14836321. take all his pills
2. flush them in the toilet
3. feign ignorance
No. 1483641
File: 1674848909169.png (1.57 MB, 1300x900, 0207B357-51B9-4FB4-A3CB-18BADE…)
>>1483630thankfully they were in an actual medication packaging with the box, pills still unopened in the sheet and all. i can't express myself clearly right now but i mean this type of packaging. my worst fear since i was small is having somebody die in their sleep in the house to the point where i would wake up in the middle of the night several times to make sure, and there was no drug problem back then. the only addiction in my family is cannabis in my mother's side and tobacco on my father's. i feel like i'm going to pop my lungs from anxiety. i wish i could opt out of this
No. 1483643
File: 1674848975005.jpg (72.96 KB, 1024x576, 16917e6eb6b2027d860048ee971ae2…)
Feel like pure shit just want her back x
No. 1483665
File: 1674850203677.jpg (435.14 KB, 1040x1040, 1639090375122.jpg)
I am feeling self destructive and I'm not going to stop myself.
No. 1483667
File: 1674850293647.png (31.9 KB, 302x225, 1531872096284.png)
I wanna draw cute girls in funny situations like Azumanga Daioh, Yotsuba& or Lucky Star Yes, I thought Lucky Star was funny, sue me but I'm painfully unfunny. Anynone looking for the drawing equivalent of a ghost writer?
No. 1483770
File: 1674855120210.jpg (31.8 KB, 567x397, bat interview.jpg)
Shit, two months ago I skipped my period entirely, and now it's time for another one, but instead of getting it I just have been spotting for two days. I sure love to drop hundreds on an obgyn visit just to hear they don't know what's going on and here's a Duphaston prescription.
No. 1484049
sobbed to the point of shrieking tonight in my car from how lonely I am. My whole life, people have come and gone. I'm good enough to be around for a certain period of time, when no one else is available, etc. Then as soon as someone better comes along I am left in the dust. I have one friend, and she's not a very good one. She doesn't listen when I speak and only uses me to complain about people in her life.
I'm a good friend. I listen, I'm an active listener. I add to the conversation, I check in on people, I buy little gifts and bake thing out of genuine love for people, and I have no friends.
I've been told I'm funny, pretty, a good listener, rationale, smart. I guess I'm not enough of any of those to stand out. I don't know what it is about me that is so unforgettable and easy to disrespect.
I've thought about killing myself every day this week and haven't because of my dad. My dad has been there for me this past year, and even though I can see my unhappiness is starting to take a toll on him, I don't think killing myself would do him any good. I'm ashamed to be so unlovable. He thinks I'm perfect, but I have to be horrifically broken to turn out this lonely. I wish I was a normal daughter.
No. 1484052
>>1484049Oh
nonnie, i want to give you a big tight hug! I'm sure that you are an amazing person and friend, but sadly most people are fake pieces of shit and they don't care about other people. I'm sorry that you have to feel this way, I'm hopeful you will find nicer people and in the meantime you can come chat with other anons, /ot/ is mostly wholesome (if you don't count the salty bitches that comment sometimes). I mostly hate using the term good vibes, but i do send you good vibes and all my best wishes
No. 1484073
>>1484049I’m sorry anon. Loneliness is awful. I’m going through something similar to this rn. I hope you can try to see in yourself the good qualities your dad sees. You may be unappreciated by some people but the good things he sees in you do exist.
In my case my vent is I just lost my best friend because I was too stupid to realize she had been unfairly verbally abusing me and treating me like absolute garbage for several years; it took me getting therapy to realize it was totally abnormal and I shouldn’t be constantly crying from a friend’s behaviors and statements towards me. But giving myself distance and no longer being around for her to just step on me also means I lose most of our close mutual friends and everything we had for a number of reasons. And it leaves me alone. I just want close friends who understand me and like me and are KIND to me. I mean, I guess I had them, but she came in between us often and would always have these weird fits of rage and start bullying me when I was having a good time with our mutual friends in front of her, so even that was eventually ruined, and I’ll never be able to see them without her there, so yay, that’s all lost.
I do truly believe that good friendships exist, though. They’re just rare and life makes even those friendships move on eventually, usually.
No. 1484085
>>1484049>>1484073I'm going through something similar as well. I broke down at work the other day and asked my coworker what could be wrong with me for this to always happen. I make a new friend, things go well for a while, they get bored of me, then they toss me aside to rot with a hole in my heart. I try my hardest to keep the friendship alive but if I stop, they don't come back. I don't know what it could be. I just want someone to not get bored with me after a while.
Right now I'm lying to myself by saying it'll all work in my favor eventually. I think I'm just being used at this point. I mean, maybe it'll work out. I don't know. I just want the pain to end.
No. 1484225
File: 1674911016358.jpeg (19.9 KB, 236x236, C40EFD68-C1F9-4519-8962-E3D14B…)
silly rant and not that big of a deal but my subtitles won't sync at all and i want to cry. when i finally get them to work. i think they were made with an algorithm or something because they don't match up with the speech at all and go every 1s for example and not set by a human according to what's being said, so if somebody takes a long time to say something it just keeps going and doesn't take pauses. i'm so frustrated.
the thing is it's in a language i understand french and even is my mother tongue. the reason i need them is because i have really bad audio processing skills, honestly the worst i know of it's humiliating and makes talking to people hard and annoying to the other end because i have them repeat themselves several times only to not even understand. without them almost everything sounds like gibberish to me. the subtitles for that language are literally almost never available. i thought this was just because some films that i watch are old or obscure, but the ones i'm getting frustrated with right now are the only ones i could find online from a website i didn't find on google and for a movie released in 2000 !!!! ugh i don't want to give up but it's getting really frustrating and i'm beginning to lose hope
No. 1484233
>>1484228I don't really date or talk to men for romantic purposes anymore but when I did I found that the colder and less interested in them you are, the more they want you. Every time I acted caring, passionate etc they were repelled and acted like I was desperate when I was just reciprocating and acting like a fucking normal human being.
It's tricky if you want to get a man's attention because you have to balance acting like you don't really give a shit and don't really feel for him
No. 1484236
anyone notice how fat men are cruel as fuck? Thinking about it now the "Fat funny nice guy" is so far from the truth 9/10 fat boys i've met went out there way to be rude, "Jokes" were almost always towards women or skin color. A lot where racist, the scrotes of color (SOC's)"Jokes" where colorist. Picking at fat women or women they felt where "Easy". Fat scrotes suck and don't buy the "Jolly funny man" story. They even act like they aren't fat or have "Levels" to fatness. You know how HAES fat women have, "Small fat, medium fat", a fat scrote will pick at a scrote slightly more fatter then him calling him fat, or hates fat women but because he's a dick haver it's okay for him to be fat.
Fat scrotes aren't bullied enough. EVen when people hate fat people, they tend to always focus on fat women, when women have hell of a lot more reasons to be fat then men anyway, we naturally have more fat, giving birth, hormones etc.
Fuck scrotes and fat scrotes spefically. We need to bully them more
No. 1484330
File: 1674920770663.jpg (91.78 KB, 1440x1080, x1080.jpg)
The place I applied to and already had an interview at wants me to bring in another copy of the application that I filled out by hand. So I have to fill it out again. Wtf does this mean just hire me for fucks sake
No. 1484350
>>1484198I’m so sorry, I had similar trash downstairs neighbors and ended up having to move out because my noise complaints went nowhere, maybe partly due to Covid anti-eviction policies. I lived in a formerly nice building and suddenly this family moved in and they had 3 adults in a unit that only allows 2 (ok, fine), plus FIVE children including a newborn baby that screeched all day and night nonstop. The children would wake up at 5 and start playing sports type games inside like football and screaming and shaking the building with their running for hours instead of just playing outside on the lawn in perfect weather, and the mom would spend all day screaming curse words at them and when she would scream I would hear sudden loud slamming and banging noises, her pounding on doors and shouting things like “you little fucking bitch, I hate you, fucking bitch” (she only had one daughter: a four year old). I sent audio recordings of the abuse etc and nothing happened.
Her drunk husband pissed all over a couch and smashed it with a hammer and left it in the building hallway reeking of pee and no one ever moved it as months went by despite my complaints. I finally just left. Some people are truly terrible. When I think back on the trauma that woman’s kids will have to try to heal from when they’re older I still get angry.
No. 1484354
>>1484345The grass is always greener on the other side. Some feel extremely patronized when men do that, some threatened, it's nice for your friends that it was positive for them.
There is the possibility that you're not as ugly as you believe since men also avoid intelligent looking women for those sorts of advances, they will avoid women 'out of their league' aka too above them in 'looks', and will even avoid a woman they feel outclassed by. I'm not saying all men who open doors for women are weak but what I am saying is that type of man goes after what's easy, not what's prettiest and
that is the actual harm,
that misunderstanding.
Ageism is when someone who thought you were twenty five suddenly stops all interest in you when they find out you're thirty eight. Ageism is also what you described, but by focusing on what you describe over what I did as a culture I think we arrived at a more harmful conclusion.
No. 1484358
>>1484296it's clearly impacting you, it just has always been impacting you negatively. but you sound like a really negative person anyway.
>>148435anon doesn't sound smart.
No. 1484371
>>1484365Please see my last post
>>1484354 if it's not clear enough may I ask why?
No. 1484378
File: 1674925138769.jpg (109.65 KB, 640x424, 5008f936eddb9ede9b84772ec198b5…)
How I hate living in this flat. It's tiny, expensive and in a bad part of the city. Every neighbour around me is loud as fuck. The scrote next to me watches children tv or calls his "girlfriend" in Thailand at 3 am (hope she takes all his money). He is creepy and after I moved here, he left his flat every morning at the same time as I would until another male person moved into my flat. The other pair next to me are turkish and they slam the doors 24/7, I will get woken up at 5 am just because they have to do their prayers and can't shut the doors silently, like normal people living in an apartment complex would do. The people below me are smoking so much, I can't open my window without suffocating and if they don't smoke, they will make laundry 7 times a day, one piece at a time. My basic rent got increased by 100 € every month this year, I have mold in every room (except the bathroom), there is no supermarket near me and if I go outside, I won't hear anyone speaking my language. One time a scrote followed me, tried to talk to me and would only leave because I told him I have a boyfriend that doesn't like me speaking to other men (I don't have boyfriend).
This is long, so to make it short, I can't sleep, I'm depressed, I'm an alcoholic, the only thing I've learned is how to self destruct, my parents make my life a living hell, even though I'm an adult for a long time now, I have constant nightmares, no money, no friends and I just want a fucking place of my own, without humans and also a hug or two. Thank you for reading, now I will get myself some cheese and another beer (I will quit the drinking starting February, I don't want to look like Shayna soon).
No. 1484394
>>1484345>it’s just not on the same level that they got at 16-24This reminds me of the fact that men on the street hit on me more often when I was 14-16 than when I was 21. Also, they started to hit on me when I was 12. I hated it then and I hate it even more now, knowing the implications. I fucking hate those pedos. I grew to hate men so fucking much that I always treat them coldly, doesn't matter who they are, at work, family, strangers or not, doesn't matter. I will never see them as fully human because I know they don't see me or other women as human, and women who think otherwise only project their own humanity onto men. I know we are programmed to want their attention but think about it this way, would you really want to be with a guy who would fuck a 15 year old if he knew he could get away with it? Because I wouldn't. And that's how the wast majority of men are, biologically.
No. 1484476
File: 1674932831213.gif (474.46 KB, 220x220, 1648293683122.gif)
MY NIPPLES ARE SO FUCKING ITCHY AND I DON'T KNOW WHY. I KEEP PUTTING ARGAN OIL ON THEM BUT I DON'T THINK IT'S A DRY SKIN ISSUE BECAUSE THEY KEEP. FUCKING. ITCHING. FOR WHAT FUCKING PURPOSE WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS. I CAN'T EVEN ITCH THEM BECAUSE THEY'RE NIPPLES AND THEY'RE SENSITIVE. JESUS CHRIST.
No. 1484499
>>1484064Manipulative indeed, he tried to do it again today with what I've drawn for him and his tears. I could not convince him, I showed him proof of everything my ex and I discussed over sms and all that- we refuse to meet eachother alone IRL as it could look very bad if someone we know is around.
In the ex's discord server, an e-friend in my boyfriend's group screenshotted me and the guy in a vc together OUT OF CONTEXT and showed it to him. (literally, people were in and out playing a video game with us)… freaked out, blocked me, won't return my calls. I'd visit him but he's out of town and has anger issues, don't need to be beaten up right now. And you know what? I'm fucking stone cold about this shit right now. I'm tired. I think it's over.
No. 1484526
I'm afraid depression and my current life circumstances, that I can't change, made me completely lose interest in drawing, which used to be my whole life. I've been drawing since I was a small child, it gave me true pleasure, I loved making up stories and characters, I made some money from commissions in the past and I wanted to develop my art business one day. But then I had to move to another country for a job because our economy is so dead, and this job, which is rather physically demanding and makes me constantly tired, and being around other, often toxic, people, living in a house with other people… It just sucked the life out of me, I'm so tired after work I have to choose between taking a shower and making myself some food. I know it's gross but sometimes I don't even change my clothes after coming home and I just throw myself onto bed and sleep. At first I thought I was just too tired to draw, but I was still finding some time to draw on the weekends because it was still giving my pleasure. But now it doesn't give me any pleasure at all. I don't have the patience, I don't have the ideas anymore, I feel like I lost the skill too. My head is empty. I just genuinely don't want to do it. I really want to off myself because there's nothing in my life that's worth continuing it. I feel like I'm living on autopilot. I just work to pay my bills and there isn't that much left in order to save money, I was never a social person so I don't have anyone in my life, and now I lost my hobby too. If I died no one would even care, just another invisible person
No. 1484532
File: 1674937466089.jpeg (43.15 KB, 538x716, CA3D0931-2FC4-4C48-B6E8-78245B…)
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. When I was 11 years old I lost my virginity to a 13 year old and I enjoyed it in the moment but I remember feeling so unclean and disgusted with myself even though I initiated it (I was a super hyper sexual child because I grew up ugly so the second I hit puberty I became obsessed with the idea of losing my virginity to prove that I was attractive). Ever since I lost my virginity, I can admire men from a distance and have a crush on them but every time I actually try to get physically intimate with a men (even if it’s just kissing) I’m overcome with feelings of disgust. I have sexual fantasies involving men/dicks but I cannot have a relationship with one in real life. Am I a lesbian or is this just the result of lingering trauma due to my past experiences? Or maybe I just want to be “the man” in the relationship because of the gender dysphoria I’ve been repressing for years (I used to be FTM and I detransitioned but the dysphoria never went away).
No. 1484543
File: 1674939020645.jpeg (65.23 KB, 640x480, 25B62C08-471F-477E-9CBC-847174…)
i wanna say i hate all cops but that's not true. i like one of them!
No. 1484555
File: 1674940411747.gif (3.58 MB, 498x359, baby-yoda-hug.gif)
>>1484526I'm so sorry, nonna, I feel you, I haven't been drawing for years now, I never was good, but I loved it and it helped me, now I just sit here and try to silence my brain with one tv show after another. Is there a chance you can move and/or change your job again? Hope you will feel better very soon and start drawing again.
No. 1484568
>>1484556I’m sorry noninta, stay strong the best you can I know I’m just some random anon but I am sending you love and care and you’re not alone in how you feel, you can stay strong I believe in you.
On a slightly related note, any britfags here ever been to any urgent care centres for mental health? I’m at crisis point for the thousandth time and it seems this is my only option at this point (aside from a private psychiatrist which I literally can not afford whatsoever they are hundreds at a minimum solely for the initial assessment) and I’m honestly terrified, I don’t want to get sectioned I have a full time job and I live alone I need to keep up with these things (don’t even get me started on the definite tier 2 hoarder state of my house kek) I am at this point basically going to force myself to go to try and get referred to a psychiatrist hopefully and get a (12 year) overdue assessment and rediagnosis, basically asking if anybody has any experience here or any advice or anything I guess
No. 1484589
>>1484587Proud of you
nonnie enjoy your donuts stay safe ♥