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Especially berating women who clearly are in a abusive
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I really don't understand how you can dislike someone, but still go out of your way to seek them out. I know you aren't into me. That's perfectly fine. But leave me the fuck alone already.
I hate fake compliments too. I mean, it's transparent. You compliment me on an aspect of my work that I haven't actually displayed in months, proving that you aren't paying attention to what I create. Do you think your shallow insistence that you actually "like" me while giving me the bare minimum and ladling the best on other people makes me trust your goodwill? It doesn't. Stop giving me mixed signals and go away.
Oh, and I can't even let this person know I know they hate me because that would expose someone else as giving me information they shouldn't have. God I hate drama. All I want to do is vibe in my corner, but I still
somehow manage to piss people off. It isn't fair.
And yeah, I've made some bitter comments in the past (read: years ago) but at least I don't do what you do, aka gossip about people behind their fucking backs. Retard.
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>boyfriend and i met over 6 years ago as teens and have grown up so much
>he used to be a shithead (i stayed with him because this is before i found fds/radfem stuff and all that)
>we grow up and we're mid 20s now, he calms down and apologizes for being a shithead
>he doesn't watch porn, pays a majority of the bills so i can go to school and work as little as 2-3 days a week
>mutual friends tell me he plans on proposing this year
>says its his job to take care of me and he actually likes it
>whenever he does something small i still feel the urge to leave him and live alone with my cats
Like today i asked him if he wanted some breakfast before going into work and he said "nah you won't have enough time". He says this almost every time and its always done in 5 minutes with enough time for him to bullshit around before getting ready. I asked him, why do you say that every single time when I prove you wrong. He says, oh I don't know. You don't need to make me anything though it's okay. I don't understand why this irritates me so much. I guess we've been together for so long and have been through a lot of growth between eachother that my tolerance for anything is very low. He really was a cunt back then and he's said sorry and is making it up for me, but occasionally I day dream about being a live in maid for some businesswoman where I cook and clean for her. I feel like I'm always waiting for that 1 thing to happen so I can smash his shit and live by myself. Don't know what to do about it
I deal with chronic stress and pain as a result of my cptsd. Part of my healing journey is to finally move out, so I can process my trauma away from significant triggers, among which are my relationship with my mother. Yesterday my mother revealed to me that she will have to have an abortion. Since then, my stress levels have sky-rocketed. I had just come home from a week away, so I was relaxed and pretty healthy. But after hearing this news, I immediately fell back into unhealthy patterns. How can I abandon my mother, now that this has happened? I must protect her, so this situation doesn't happen again. I didn't protect her enough despite trying. Moreover, I must support her as she goes through this emotionally taxing time. She doesn't have anybody but me. When I was little, I worried about when I would be older and wanted to start a life of my own. I was concerned my mother would kill herself, since she had alluded to this a few times during her severe depressions when I took care of her. I feel selfish for leaving. I can't leave her alone… Even if she says it is fine, and she probably believes it, I can't agree. Things aren't fine, clearly… Nothing is fine about this.
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Just booked my smear test for next week and I was in tears on the phone to the doctor trying to explain that I am traumatised by penetration. She seemed understanding and said the nurse is very kind and that it was good of me to explain in advance, that we can use a small or child-size speculum etc but holy shit I'm dreading this. I know I have to do it, I know I have to be a big girl because the risk of hpv/cervical cancer is worse than the emotional distress the test gives me but…I'm so scared. The thought of having my legs up and having a nurse put it up there is just terrifying to me and I don't even know why - it produces some sort of primal fear in me and not even because of the way my vagina or body looks etc but because my brain just associates it with being under attack. Why does it have to be like this?
It's the same with penetrative sex, yet if I insert a tampon or put my fingers into myself I seem to be fine even if it's a little painful. It's just the concept of another person putting anything up there makes me so absolutely terrified, I hope I don't cry at the appointment but I know for a fact I will. And when I walk out of there, it will be obvious that I've been crying. God I don't know what to do. I just hate how fucking retarded this is, I cry about it not because it's scary but because I feel so defeated and annoyed about something that I know is medically necessary at my age (25). I have to be brave but I have so much trauma it's hard to. I'm wondering if I can just ask to insert a little bit of the speculum into myself at first but I don't know if that's allowed or if it will fuck up the test. I don't know. I have to do it and have to be strong but if I'm crying just thinking about it then I don't even know what I'm gonna be like next week.
that sucks nonnie
just know it's a woman doing it to you because she wants to help other women.
ime OBGYNs and nurses can tell immediately, even through subtle body language, if a woman is uncomfortable and will stop/not start and work with the patient to get the procedure done in a way that's as comfortable as possible for them. It might be worth calling the office in advance and explaining how you feel so they know ahead of time and maybe prescribe anti-anxiety meds. I guarantee that they've seen many patients with trauma like yours and will try their hardest to work with you unless it's a particularly seedy clinic.
Good luck nonnie
this actually helped me realize what might be the problem. I think its a trauma response from severe abandonment issues and i'm blowing up these small things so i can leave him before he leaves me. the idea of him just upping and leaving terrifies me because it happened 3x to me in my childhood by my parents and other family members so thank you nonnie
LMAO. just the idea of being rejected again by someone who is supposed to love and take care of me is having me tear up.
I hope you're doing okay because that sounds scary.>>1468007
this is a sign for me to go back to therapy, thank you ladies
. I am just tired of how scrotey everything is so I don’t engage with media and even feminist leaning people make me feel alienated over it. I try not to get into it so much but for some reason it really fucking offends people if you don’t take part in pop culture.
That's how I think as well. That and I think it's unrealistic to have zero conflicts with every new relationship. Every road is a bit bumpy.
But also my current SO has changed so much for the better. We're both the same yet different. We both tried dating others, finding "the one" or "love at first sight" with others. We put a lot of hard work and now he's just home and vice versa
Maybe he was
but the recent years we've been together it's all been smooth sailing and happy vibes
If she broke up with her ex like 5x over I call that an immature love style. Going back but not changing yourself will always have the same result. So yuh she sucked.
You love them for a reason and can see the potential, but they don't want to see that
But yuh tbh me and my current partner were both immature lovers. Thinking we were "twin flames" and corny shit like that. That relationships need to just work and conflict should never happen. And if it does well that person is evil. tbh what helped is time apart and us growing. We just fell in love with the new people we became
Cheesy rant over
Probably because most people don't breakup over a petty fight. It's usually something big, like cheating or lying or something. So to most people, getting back with their ex who could have fucked their sister or something is a massive toxic
insane thing to do.
I was sleeping around too kek
Anyway imma hop off
Hope you guys can find a meaningful relationship someday as well
Nta my ex broke up with me because I didn't agree with her terminally online definition of toxicity. Something like she would have thought I was a bad person if she knew I browsed LC. Or if she knew I was anti sex work because in her mind being swerf is a radfem pipeline to being a terf
or something. Meanwhile, I had a life outside the internet and generally have my shit together, while she doesn't. So yeah people can pick fights over petty reasons.
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no coffee today due to some unfortunate reasons not even 2 hours in at work and i already feel like wanting to kms so bad
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i wish i had a friend i could get vodka drunk with and play dark night scaries with
I could not post during that spam thing ugh>>1467962
Seriously. I was stuck in one and I posted about it once on a language learning app and some i cel went off spamming comments insulting me and I had to delete the post bc I couldn't delete their comments. I can't think of a man who hasn't hurt me, I hate them. Only one hasn't ever hurt me and I met this guy online and met him on my uni campus from a fee hours away and I was surprised he didn't touch me once, or try to force me, and talked to me after. I remember that.
. I've always admired a nice male butt, but as for wanting to assfuck someone I've never had those feelings until I started dating current bf so I think it's just honeymoon phase having a weird effect on me. I just think he's so attractive I wanna like lick every inch of his body and be inside of him and have him completely exposed and vulnerable idk, it's a silly obsession
Honestly I think there's a huge difference between reconnecting with an ex after time apart and finding there's still a spark, and "getting back with" someone you still feel complicated and painful feelings for. If someone was generally good to you but you guys were young and insecure, lacked life stability, were too codependent, etc., etc., then I think it's reasonable that you can have feelings for them again after you both grow as people and reconnect. Most of the time when people hear you're "getting back with" an ex, they imagine an off-and-on toxic
situation or they project their own experience. Say you "reconnected with an old flame" and suddenly people find it romantic lol.
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you and your friend find the darkest room in the house, a room so dark that u still cant see anything even after ur eyes adjust. you start at opposite corners of the room and crawl around trying to be as silent as humanly possible. you will eventually bump into each other and it is quite scary and exhilarating . also since you cant see shit you can do whatever funny shit you want in your little corner and the other person can only imagine what kind of gay retarded shit you're up to which makes it even funnier
Gross, sorry that happened to you nonnie
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You've been very strong nonny
. Take a break try to do something for yourself. Hopefully everything will be better ♡
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thank you anon i needed to hear that, i'm worried sick right now but i simultaneously can't feel anything. i really hope things get better and turn out okay too, and for you as well. have a good day
They have an illuminated Christmas tree displayed in the dark halfway through January and don't close their blinds, they literally want to be looked at or they wouldn't do that>>1468543
Why are you upset? Women should enjoy being leered at, especially in the dark, stupid ass dog lover, you probably only want dogs to stare at you
Using romantic terms might work
Imma do an update on this later and see how it goes
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Shopping for pants is the most excruciating experience. Nothing fits. Bigger sizes are way too big in my waist area and smaller are too tight around my crotch or I can't get them over my hips. When it looks okay from the front view, I turn around and my ass looks terrible.
Anyway do pant makers not get that women have hips? My hips aren't even that wide yet I almost fricking scrape my skin off trying to get the pants over them just for it to be loose as fuck around my stomach. I hate shopping for pants so much, people think I'm trying too hard wearing skirts all the time but they're genuinely so simple compared to devil's leg tubes.
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sigh nonitas, i was wearing my dumb silly little girly fashion and some fag asked if i was in cosplay and that i looked really cute in my cosplay, im nearly 24 and im starting to wonder if i should cave in and dress in muted basics and lululemon or whatever else older zoomer women are doing, i love my clothes and my style but i also have social anxiety and i get this horrible pit in my stomach that im not appropiate even though it fits my body type and i do my due dillegence of also having equally cutesy make up, i seriously consider moving somewhere where picrel is more sociably acceptable just so i can have my cake and eat it too.
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This site has taken such a massive nosedive in the last few months that it's making me miss 2020 LC
What do you mean angry? If your Christmas shit is still up right now where people can see it, then they will
Sorry, do I need to put like an "/e" at the end for explanation? tf
There’s no point. Newfags and scrotes have changed the board culture so much that anons can’t tell what’s real and what’s not anymore. The language should
be obvious but here we are.
This, it's been hard to tell who's who in the last two years because there's just so
You should wear what you love, nona. At best, you could find toned down pieces from your favorite brands that you can wear on certain occasions. That's what I do for work anyway. I also love Liz Lisa and girly styles too (based on the image, I'm assuming that's a brand you love), and I wear it without a care for what others may think. Do you happen to wear sailor-style uniforms or big bows? I think that may be what triggered
that moid, and I have to tell myself not to buy a certain dress if it's a bit too flashy with the bows/ribbons or sailor collar.
At least you're still trying. I'm short AF so I have a normal waist but pant legs are too long. So I grew a hate for jeans and non stretchy fabric. I've been rocking sweatpants and pajama bottoms as much as possible.
I get more snippy if I have to wear something nice though
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i wish i could not give a fuck but tbh i do struggle a bit with self confidence>>1468626
hahahaha youre on point nonna, im a lis liza bitch.
No sailor collar but white shirt with a big bow yeah, i think gravitating towards the more wannabe chanel/miu miu styles that the girly brands have beem putting out might be the way, picrel.
I hate that I'm jealous of my Asian girlfriend (platonic). It's not about looks or personality, just the fact that her family and community love her unconditionally. My family disowned me pretty much, and it's for stupid reasons. Because I dress too western and I'm not a devout muslim. Last weekend, we hung out in an Asian community and I was like wow, your people really don't look at you crazy for wearing a skirt, huh? I think this unconditional love is the reason why beautystandards are the way they are, in part, becasue when you hate the women and girls in your own community, call them sluts for wearing thier hair out, or wear a skirt, or call them ugly all the time, treat them like dirt, other people outside that community are going to agree with that. I just got off the train and I have to hop on it in an immigrant dense area, and the looks, comments and disgusting glances I get is so f-ing demoralizing. It's like, we live in a white country, where YOU get discriminated against, and you still treat your own like trash. I will never undersand this internalized inferiority complex these people have, do I make you insecure? Nothing about me is worth disowning me for. I have a high-paid job and I dress nicely, and I will wear cute outfits if I f-ing want to. These older women in my community are so f-ing miserable instead of uplifting young girls they shit on them and engage in the targeted bullying and harassment coming from the useless, muslim scrotes. I also have a Indian girlfriend and her family are PROUD of her accomplishments. ugh.
What is altering pants? My friend's 4'6 and buys jeans/pants and just alters them, which seems like the smart thing to do. She has very wide hips too..
My brother is also short and does the same thing. It has helped him save money.
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I went through some of the older unpopular opinions threads and that anon has been sperging for at least as long as those threads have existed. Pic related cracked me up. Some anons were tinfoiling it could be an old femtrip like mystery.jpg or spoony.
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Fuck scrotes figuratively
Im so desperate to be loved anons, it's pathetic. I believe some people can be happy without it and I'm envious of them but I just can't. My mom only gave me love when I've achieved something to make her proud, I've dated both men and women and I would always be a shameful secret, a temporary replacement, a naive idiot to cheat on, never enough to put any effort, and all of these made me more and more damaged and less likely to be accepted by anyone. I've coped lying to myself that if I get a career I dreamt of, things will magically fall in place since hey, a success! but it's just the same over and over. I'm turning 32 this year, suicidal thoughts gotten worse than ever, it just feels hopeless and all that because what, no one loves me. Why am I such an embarrassment, how to make it stop?
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Fine here's a different pic
Fuck scrotes figuratively, seriously fuck them
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You don't have to actually eat it all… Alcohol is very bad for you, as is sugar. You tasted it, so you can clap your hands in appreciation, and thank you aunt.
It would be helpful if you told her you are alcohol intolerant though, so she knows what to not make for you…
Stupid question: Why do you actually eat it? Nobody but you knows where the cake goes.
For me it was my grandma who made food for me that I didn't want to eat and she was too senile to have a reasonable conversation about it, so I took it and thanked her and then threw it away when I was at home.
It doesn't exactly sit right with me to throw away fine food that others might like, but who benefits if I force myself to eat and suffer? I don't. My grandma doesn't either. Nobody does, it just increases the amount of misery in the world for no gain.
Fair enough.> couldn't live with the guilt wasting them anymore.
Kek, are you asian?
Spoilered for this shit movie but the protagonist the audience is supposed to be rooting for is a fucking rapist, and the antagonist is a rape victim who was the product of incestual rape
what the fuck is this it feels like some weird agenda being pushed I fucking hate hollywood why do I even bother trying to watch modern horror movies jesus fucking christ
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Laying in bed thinking about how much I want to punch my ex-scrote. Not only was he a cheat but sexually coercive too, and I hate him for it. He does not deserve to live. This was years ago, but some time last year I got into contact with his current gf and basically informed her that he was trying to contact me and another one of his exes for nudes. Naturally I was honest with her and said that he was insane and horrible and that she should try and get away asap but she moved to the other end of the country for him and I feel so bad for her. I want to strangle him nonners, he's a disgusting porn addict and no doubt she's just another plaything for him. I tried to give her advice and she was really nice about it but at the end of the day it's up to her. I just hope she can get out of there and see her worth, because that man will never ever change. It doesn't help that his mother is a retard too and doesn't even hold him accountable for any of the shit that he does. I even told her that he cheated on me and pressured me into sexual things I didn't want to do and her response was, "but what about her holiday" bitch stfu I'll strangle you too. Be a decent woman and disown your son because he is a fucking degenerate, if I had a son anything remotely like him I'd kick him out and never speak to him again for the way he treats women. Disgusting stupid moid.
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nonners i have a problem. i think i’m addicted to being sad. i only ever feel alive while crying my eyes out over random shit. this cannot be healthy for me kek i’m fucked
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Anyone still dealing with grief and mourning of relationship with men in your life like boyfriend, brother, father, or mentor? How do you deal with the pain of realizing that they will never truly understand, never truly pick your side, never be a true ally? Even the “few good ones”.
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Went to bed, tried to sleep, stayed in bed for 2 hours, couldn't sleep, got up, looked at stupid funny shit online, still can't sleep, looked for tips what I can do to finally fall asleep, every damn tip isn't possible to achieve because I live in a loud house in one single small room. No, I can't get a quiet environment, I can't get a dark room, I can't change the position of my bed, I can't throw out every thing containing a monitor, I can't use my bed only for sleeping, I can't sleep in another room and no, I can't sleep with ear plugs because they give me horrible nightmares. And then I watched this tv show and one of the characters has self-harm scars and yes, I'm nearly 3 years without it, but now all I can think about is how easy and helpful it would be at the moment and that, if I could finally fall asleep, I could have a dream about cutting myself and all that. Just a nice little dream, something calming and not another nightmare with my parents as the main actors.
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Overwhelmed. I have a big presentation and a workshop tomorrow, quite a few of big shots are gonna be there. It's gonna I'm English and I haven't spoken English out loud for such a long time. I have too much to do, I'm so tired. I'm trying to get into 3 internships abroad and it's so much paperwork it's making me wanna die but I believe it's gonna be worth it. So many motivation letters and other documents to write and scan and edit and send, send back, send again. I'm studying for a really difficult, two-day (practical and theoretical) final exam too, after that there's be another terrible two day exam. I stopped working for the time moment because I have to go to mandatory classes from 8 am for 6 hours everyday for an exam that I'm gonna take next year so it's totally useless to me and I don't like my classmates for this semester much so I'm not even going there to socialise.
Last few days I come home from classes and just scroll on my phone while exam notes are in front of me and play vidya before I sleep. I feel like such a slacker. I sent two emails that had information missing from them, my brain doesn't work right. Everyone around me seems to manage just fine, are they machines? I'm also pressed because I don't have time or energy to exercise and I'm approaching 2 years single because I don't wanna be stressed by some scrote. I just want a month of vidya, netflix, cartoons and other childish shit. I want to go camping and shit too. I'm tired. At least this is my last year but it's been 7 years of pain.
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Enbies are so fucking annoying. I got into uni and I've met 2 enbies they're women so far. They're both so socially clueless but one of them is so retarded I'm starting to think she has the kind of autism men have.
I met her on my history course, she was nice at first, had a backpack full of animu pins, mostly husbandos so I thought she would be one of lc anonita types of autists who are fucking great. But nope.
A little friend group formed where she is present, and holy shit she became insufferable. When I have my hair open she always touches it and plays with it even though I've multiple times said that I don't want her touching my hair at random. I always ask her to stop or move away probably having the same expression when a moid touches my ass, but she continues to do it over and over again over the course of the day.
She also likes to split hairs, especially in class. Always when we have discussion time she starts to argue with me about fucking course work. Not even my opinions, but if stuff I said was in the book spoiler alert: it usually was or checks if I've done my homework correctly and starts correcting things I've written down without me asking for input nor wanting it. She usually is in the wrong, and when I correct about it, she goes "oh well" every time. The same phrase every fucking time. What the FUCK do you mean by "oh well"?! When I correct someone wrongly I say sorry and try to learn why in the fuck I was thinking like a retard! She seems to be one of those people who got through college by memorizing every thing and not actually understanding it, inferring is impossible to her and if you infer something from the text it's always wrong. The word of the professor is the gospel, you can't have any critical thinking skills. She likes to check my screen when I'm doing an essay and remind me that I'm akshually 20 words shy from the word count minimum and I can't return it. FUCK OFF! The professor doesn't care if it's 20 words short! No one cares! It's not like we're doing a group project, this is MY essay! I can return it empty if I want to! She's visibly annoyed when I don't put a lot of effort to my school work in general, I'm an Europefag so we study English and I don't really care about pronunciation in the classes, and that makes her so mad for some reason. She rolls her eyes and corrects my pronunciation every time I say something with a typical hillbilly English accent my country has. This usually leads up to her repeating everything I say in English, and sometimes I'm asking myself if this is just a comedy show. We're not learning any new words related to our field of science, so I don't get why I should pronounce "Hello I'm anonita I liek lurking on boards" perfectly.
Her wokeness is getting to me as well. She usually stfus about political stuff, but once she gave me a stern talk about using the word retarded for context, my mother language has loads of words for disabled people, but I used the most inoffensive one, which is used in law texts etc etc. when I referred to myself, I said that I'm one of those retards who go to the bus stop 20 mins early worrying that I'll miss it otherwise. She told me how I shouldn't use the word if I'm not disabled and so on, but the joke here is that I'm disabled. I just listened her rant thinking that maybe I should tell her that I'm, in fact, retarded. I just let it slide because there were other people around, but maybe I should've said something. I'm worried that restricting how I speak is going to become a common occurrence.
Sorry for the essay anons, and sorry for typing like a retard.
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, i have never met a moid in my life who knew how to cook, or at least knew how to do moid jobs like fixing things in the house, that plus men looking 40 at 22 made me turn completly celibate. Whenever i get horny i take a walk and see all the busted guys who hit the wall at 20 and it helps me cool off.
Nope. Unless you're just lucky and find a unicorn moid, I guess - even then you won't find them online or on apps and you can only discover the unicorn once you're already financially and emotionally in a good spot yourself.
Men really bring nothing to the table in relationships. This is why women should just put dating last on their list or drop it altogether because there are no advantages, if you date a man you have to put up with >them aging like milk>doing most of the domestic and emotional labour for them>the probability that they will watch porn behind your back>the VERY high chance that they will just straight up leave you if you become sick
However for men, there are so many benefits for being with a woman. Instant access to sex and having an emotional support maid is just three examples of that. Moids need us far more than we need them, and if anything that should be a massive turn off for any woman who has self-esteem and self-respect.>>1469512>Whenever i get horny i take a walk and see all the busted guys who hit the wall at 20 and it helps me cool off.
Kek I literally do the same thing, when you see what moids are like in everyday scenarios it's like the ultimate birth control. They're immature, physically repulsive and emotionally vacant.
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I had a bunch of canker sores pop up a couple of days ago and I'm going to commit if they don't heal soon i stg. I'm in pain
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We're allowed our less-than-three hearts, nona. She's not the first to fudge the formatting
chill! so rude!>>1469631
lol yea ur right i shouldn't feel shame for that. we used to have good text banter when i got drunk and talkative but it’s like something shifted…there might be a couple reasons for that but whatever it’s passed
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Y wont i dy?
i do agree with you that i put too much emphasis on the emotional side of our relationship even tho it obviously does exist and that’s normal/bound to happen with anyone you fuck regularly. i pulled away for a few months bc I recognized this (the difference between fwb/friends/gfs) and exercised self control and made myself busy/focus on other relationships and my work with our only contact outside of meeting up being me texting her to ask when she’s free. she also used to reciprocate the drunk (but readable) texts at one point in time even though it’s been a while. there's a lot of things leading up to this though, i’ve caught her in random lies a few times and she’s not assertive at all which i dislike but i ignored that for better or worse bc why should i gaf it’s just sex with the occasional going out to a show and drinking once every other month as a conduit for hooking up. i just thought her response to me wishing her happy birthday was unintentionally funny and i was feeling very open and flirty last night and it was also her birthday. idk. it’s the first time i’ve done that in a while so the novelty wore off. i over think all of my relationships like this not just lovers btw. she’s also going abroad for like a year in 1 month so it feels easier. i’m not a perfect person and i still have so much work to do i admit that much. it’s not right but it’s ok and now ik i’m not at a place where i can do fwb i realize that now.>>1469649
hop off my dick jesus i’m literally illiterate you act like you were born knowing how to use lolcow fuck>>1469659
agree but could you/someone else elaborate on your last sentence i wanna hear more
…. we all are anymouse
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kek, holy shit no way she actually did type anonymous
no fucking shit bitch have you ever heard of hyperbole>>1469675
yea i agree. that was happening even though i never expressed how i was feeling to her i did feel like a loser even thinking about her in the most casual way, and that’s not to say that is solely her fault i have my hang ups clearly but it was there. like it felt good when i pulled back and only hit her up every once in a while but it felt off when i would even text her to hang out but i just buried it bc the sex was good, but u can find good sex anywhere. we just met when i was in a dry spell and now that i’m out of it there’s nothing holding me i can find someone on my wavelength easy
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Who let this tiktoker in…
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That's amazing, nona. Best of luck to you!
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Wanted to see how long it'll take for my best friend to reach out to me if it's not me initiating contact. Four weeks and counting lol.
idk why but I'm just in a really stressed, bad fucking mood. I can't pin down any one thing that's happened. I don't even know if anything has. But I am just so ANGRY and frustrated! I'm pissed off that I'm single but literally everyone gives me the ick. I don't want to date because I feel like I put so much effort into other people and its just not reciprocated. But at the same time, I am so so tired of doing everything alone. It's lonely and exhausting. I'm broke all the time because I have to pay for everything myself. I'm sick to my stomach with jealousy over my married friends that are buying homes and going on vacation and having kids, and I can't afford any of those things. I do actually like my job, but it's minimum wage without benefits.
I'm pissed off at all my friends too even though they didn't do anything. Similar to dating I feel like they just don't give as much of a fuck about me as I do about them. I often go days, sometimes weeks, without hearing from them unless I reach out to them first. They have reoccurring plans with each other and do not include me or make those kinds of plans even though we've known each other for years. I ask them to and they turn it down or have other obligations. I know deep down even though they are not bad people, these are NOT the kind of friendships I want. It doesn't make me happy, it feels too one sided. But I'm too scared to break them off because the idea of not having any friends seems so much worse than fair weather friends.
I'm angry at myself. I've been trying to get in better health and lose weight but I am extremely addicted to junk food and binge eating. Now that I'm not doing that, I'm just mad I can't eat all the food I want and I'm mad that I have those thoughts because it's so embarrassing and pathetic. Food is one of the few things that made me happy, I am realizing. And now I don't even have that anymore and it pisses me off and feels unfair. But I'm literally having medically diagnosed health problems because of my weight, it's not vanity, I need to be healthier. But I'm so fucking mad about it.
I'm just tired of being this angry and shitty and I know nobody wants to be around me when I'm like this. So on top of EVERYTHING I just have to isolate and have all these bad feelings alone. If I didn't have a pet to take care of I would legitimately kill myself, but I'm not even sad. I'm just tired and don't see anything ever changing and I'm so fucking bored of life. I exist for other people and even then they barely even care. I sure as shit am not enjoying myself and I'm mad I have to get up every day and live a life that's so shitty and boring and lonely and feels horrible, and for what? nothing. I'm just really confused and angry. I'm sure none of this makes sense. But I'm so out of sorts and just wanted to get it out.
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I am not romanion wtf
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how come 4chan gets to have their "tits or gtfo" boys club and they have fast working jannies, don't have to deal with gore or cp outside of /b/. I just want a website equivalent to that but for women. Why is that so hard. I'm not even blaming the site's jannies at this point because they have to see cp all day, and I know how awful that must be for their mental health. I miss lolcow
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Anons, are you afraid of being caught while laying low?
I had a close friend back in hs, we share the same interests and such so we get along with each other quite well. However, we did not end the friendship on good terms and there was bad blood between us. Later on, she moved with her family to a new country but she's still quite active in the weeb scene here ( we are both weebs btw ).
I want to sell some of my merch because I have fallen out of love with a character, thing is, back then she knew what kind of merch I had and I hope she doesn't keep track of most of the things that I bought because whenever I buy something weeb related I always let her know. I change all of my social media handles, block her, and even create new accounts so she does not keep track of me because she was the kind to berate or even sc stuff to talk shit about me and isolate me from my friends. Let's just say that she isn't too much of a good character.
This is the reason why I don't really post on social media anymore, I'm paranoid, and I just hope that she doesn't give a shit about me anymore so I can live my life in peace. Funny how she fuck my psyche and cause me to be paranoid yet shes out there probably living her life to the fullest.
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i wish i didn't have to work tomorrow and that i could stay at home making stuff on my computer all day. instead i have to work on the work computer all day at work on stuff i don't care about. can't wait for the weekend
no but I had a dog who liked to catch mice but she died so.
rest in peace my little mouse catcher
thats how ratatouille started nonnie
He obviously wants to fuck you, don't look into it any deeper.>uses snapchat, notorious for hookups and cheating>asks you about sexual stuff at night
Don't message him at all if you care about your dignity and not letting degenerate moids fuck you
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>be me, no maternal instinct
>don't like/want kids for multiple reasons
>been consistent on this belief since i was a child and still find babies/children a bit yucky and uninteresting
>have a heavy period recently that left me with no energy
>suddenly feel some sort of urge to have a child after my period ends
what the fuck is going on? this only happens after it's heavy. it feels like my biology is holding me hostage. i don't like them, don't want them, but why are my hormones like this
I think you should force yourself to be around people if possible. It is more painful and more difficult than loneliness, but it is worthwhile, and you might understand why people do it. I'm sure you have more to offer than you think, nonnie
It's hard to bring myself to leave my job because I'm so fucking comfortable here. I barely do any work and I have an insane amount of flexibility. It's a dream. The only reason why I want to leave is because I'm terribly underpaid, I'm making minimum wage while living in one of most expensive cities in burgerland. I live rent free with my parents and can afford my own indulgences, but I can never move out or save up for my own place. I'm interviewing for jobs and I do want to leave, but it is so hard to leave such a comfortable place. When I left my first shitty job, it was my "comfort" zone since it was what I knew, but it treated me like shit so it was a no brainer to leave. But now this is a comfort zone not only because it's what I know, but because I am treated so well. The job I interviewed for today would be paying me 20k more at minimum. That's insane, that's such a huge salary increase. But of course, more money means more work. I know I can do it, it's not that big of a deal, but it's just such a mental hurdle to go through and I know I'll always be thinking "damn I used to have it so fucking good, I used to get paid to do absolutely nothing." Also no point in asking for a raise. The pay cap for my position is the starting pay of the position I just interviewed for.
I also realize I've become such a shell of my former self. My younger self had stupid big goals but that dumb bitch achieved them. Now? I am a slug. I have no real goals or aspirations, I am just lazy. I feel like a shell of my younger self. I am a lot happier than my younger self, but it kinda sucks to think about.
Go to a foodbank nonnie
. Or check local churches(any religion), some hand out cooked meals and non perishables daily.
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What gets me is how they're always so overly hostile. You say something contradicting them and they go right out and call you a bitch. Also did anyone else see the anon in lolcow's own caps who posted a cap of an anon calling her a twitterfag, as if being butthurt enough to post it somehow proves she's not?
i started thinking about the little girl i used to be, and it made me incredibly sad. all i wanted when i was a young girl was to have a happy, normal life. i grew up in a dysfunctional home and my family used our wealth to appease everyone instead of actually dealing with our problems. i just wanted to come home to a safe place where i didn't always feel this oppressive anxiety about something bad happening if i was too happy/relaxed. the sound of doorbells and people knocking on my door still freak me the fuck out because a part of me still associates those sounds with something bad happening, like my aunt coming in the middle of the night in a violent schizophrenic meltdown, my cousin being dragged home by the police because she was absolutely wasted in public, my grandfather coming bck from work in a violent narc rage to take it out on my grandmother or, later on after she died, me, over dumb shit like a crumb on the countertop or the windows being open. the only thing i had to comfort me were my pets, and now they're all gone (either dead or living with other relatives). i remember as a child i would go out at night and look at the stars and dream of finding a better life somewhere, where i could forget everything. my parents divorce, my messed up family, being bullied in school, everything. i don't know why i went through all that shit; everyone says that it makes you a stronger person, but what little girl deserves that? how did it make me strong? i am just a survivor. i am not strong. i just know how to cope with abuse, but i am not strong. strength comes from love, not from family screaming in your face, telling you you're worthless and you'll never be anything, or wondering why your own father never loved you and never wanted you while people coo over how much you look like him. i just don't understand.
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I wanna fucking scream
>be me, working my little job
>coworker who i’ve known for awhile comes in, raving about this plum latte she just got
>she asks me if i wanna try
>it’s out of her mug and i decide why not, i’ll just sip from a different edge
>fast forward 3 weeks
>I notice a bump on my lip + a swollen lymph node
>bump goes away, but I decide to telehealth my doctor
>doctor: “sounds like HPV”
>me: “um what? I’m not in a relationship and my roommate and i don’t share most of our stuff, plus she doesn’t seem to have it.”
>doctor: “have you shared a drink with anyone recently?”
>it hits me
>said coworker was wearing a lipstain at the time so i wouldn’t have been able to tell
>I go back to work the next day, and low and behold same coworker mentions in the break room that she actually started a polycule over the pandemic
>AND she’s sporting a big fucking cold sore
i wanna fucking PUKE i got herpes from a poly infested gang. i was so SO careful my whole life, and I’ve fucking taken all of the vaccines?? what gives?!?!
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legit thinking about getting those genious pills adhd havers eat, i dont know if i have ADHD, though i have all the symptoms but i am tired of being so anxious and not being able to finish or focus on anything
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I can't quit my job right now it would ruin my life but I am all out of fucking patience
I wish these fucking idiots a very kill themselves
I've been in the same situation and these anons >>1470543
>>1470555 are completely right. Not like you'll listen anyways.
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This week I started studying programming, and a couple of guys and I are way ahead most of the class since the guys have previous experience in coding and I just seem for once to have a talent for it so far. One of the guys in class got anxious and super stressed when he saw that we were so far ahead while he was struggling (though I overheard him and the teacher talking and it seems he is pretty much in phase with the rest), so he started considering dropping out and didn't show up today. I know it's not my fault but I feel bad, been in his position SO many times so I get what he is going through since I'm usually feeling like the class failure whenever I take any class or course.
Don't do it nonny
, it's not worth it. I think you will be okay- I am hoping for your safety. Keep us updated, we support you nona.
I guess you're right, I heard programming was gonna be really hard so I guess I got a bit cocky being surprised people were already dropping out. >>1470735
Good point. Though I hope I'm reading it wrong but it seems that the teacher is already a bit annoyed with me being over ambitious, but maybe he was just having a bad day. I kinda went into this class somewhat prepared for trannies and general douchebags, and haven't gotten either yet but I'm still keeping my guard up lmao
Don't settle. Give it time, you will find someone that suits your tastes if you don't stress over it. I was anxious about the same thing until I stumbled upon the moid I'm seeing atm that is almost a perfect match for what I was looking for. And I was single for several years before that.
But honestly, being attracted to scrotes is hell nowadays with the majority hitting the wall hard at 27 but still acting like they're hot shit. Fuck tumblr's dad bod propaganda that made moids and women think looking like that is acceptable.
I'm a dumb bitch who's reconciling with a mildly toxic ex because I lOvE him no matter what and dick is too bomb.
He lashed out at me multiple times because I wouldn't smoke weed and take molly with him, tried to gaslight me once (literally, not in this overused insta/tiktok way) but is too dumb to actually be in any way dangerous, constantly twists events and my words to his own benefit so he can "win" arguments, is impossible to argue with without immediately getting defensive and bringing up irrelevant shit and doesn't realise any of this and thinks he's god's gift to the world.
Fuck, he constantly talks about how he does things because he's a "good person" and said multiple times that "he'd never hit me" (nobody asked!!!! I never even thought of that). Thing is, he's pretty loyal and has no history of physical abuse, he's just fucking stupid and insecure and deep inside he realises how much of a toxic mess he is. The dude is like 35 in a super successful career as well.
I never told him how I felt, just ended up letting everything fester and dumped him when things got too much, now I wanna have a "talk" with him before he can even touch me and I low-key know I'll get into this messy shitty relationship again but I'll also make him get therapy ahh idk what to do, he's so hot but fuck me, dude needs to truly realise he's got issues.
I'm gonna fucking destroy him when we meet next weekend by confronting ALL of his toxicity and he's texting me about how beautiful and sexy I am and that he can't wait to have me back in his bed lmao.
>>1470800>dick is too bomb.
No dick is ever too good for the amount of shit this 35 year old grown male
is putting you through.>is too dumb to actually be in any way dangerous
You don't know this. The fact he strangely mentioned "he would never hit you" is sus to me. Unless he's a literal retard, no, he is not "too dumb" to be dangerous. I've met men who I've thought this about too and it was only a matter of time until they did eventually become dangerous.>he's pretty loyal and has no history of physical abuse
Doesn't matter, literally irrelevant, even scrotes with no history of this shit can simply find a woman who is vulnerable and naive enough (you, in this case, no offense) and this is how the abuse starts.>I'll also make him get therapy ahh idk what to do
You can't make a man get therapy. If he really wanted to be a good person and a good man for you, he'd do this of his own accord. You can't fix him sis, and you will never be able to. It doesn't matter how good the sex is, you either have two options: accept that he's a degenerate scrote who will probably end up beating you soon and put up with that, or find your self-worth and leave. I seriously hope the former never happens to you, but these are the consequences of playing with moids like this - nothing good comes from it, and in a few years you'll regret prioritising sex over your actual safety and mental health.
I am legit so weirded out by this "I'd never hit you" shit, ngl, a red sail but it's such a shockingly transparent statement that I just took it as a sign of some deep-seated insecurity and retardation because I wanted to make things work so badly. There's so much shit I was just letting slide due to my nonexistent self esteem until my gut feeling told me to run. But the fact that he said that multiple times completely out of nowhere says it all, really.
I left the relationship blaming myself for hurting him but now I realise what a fucking mess he is and my main problem was letting everything slide and not running the first or second time he pulled out a red flag. >>1470828
He makes six figures in a major advertising company in London but can't tell the difference between "your" and "you're"… Like if we ever needed proof that a moid can have an IQ of a box of crayons and still get places based on… I don't fucking know what.
Nah Nonnas, thank you for advice, I was venting because I'm mad at myself for engaging with the scrote (he reached out to me) but I promise I'm not gonna let myself get sucked into this shit again.
I think maybe it’s because they don’t feel I’m as exciting as other women(liking hot and cold drama, liking abuse and other toxic
shit). I’m not going to be constantly arguing, crying and doing crazy shit so I just get wrote off as boring and hook up material from time to time.
Either she's lying about her age (lists it as the same as my age, I'm 29) or this is just really unfortunate. I'd even let it pass at early 20s, but past 25? That's just a red flag.
I don't even know what I would do if I met her irl and she was this cringey irl. I used to know people in college who would do the 2edgy4u shtick and it was skin crawling behavior.
>>1470719>stop attacking random people for having empathy
I feel empathy for scrotes too but you gotta straighten up and remember the truth, like nonnie
said, he'd fuck her over if he could. Being empathetic can be overwhelming at times, you have to really think about who deserves your empathy instead of aww'ing and baww'ing for anyone who stubs their toe a little.
. Don't ask him to explain, that's literally just giving him an opening to make excuses. Don't open up about childhood trauma to moids ever. I know it's so tempting, especially when they share theirs and you're thinking like "hey this is something we could bond over and form a deeper connection". Nope, it's not. Like you suspect, it's a way for them to dig out your weaknesses. It might not be their plan from the beginning, they might genuinely want to listen and do care about you, but they'll use it against you if they suddenly feel like it.
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Smagefav but ahh the good old days
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>>1471008>normal oldschool female only forum
I kinda panicked when I couldn't access LC for a few days, there is literally NO other place to talk for women only.
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It lasted until around 2011. The main user base probably just grew up and lost interest since were all in our early 20s around the time the forum shut down. It’s interesting looking at this stuff again since I haven’t been on this site since like 2007 kek
But why towards me? Why do they even go back to him? Why can't they move on? One from 3 years ago DMd me as soon as she found out who he was dating me.
My ex increasingly gave me the silent treatment and after 6 years together, I up and left him. I don't go to his current gf (i don't even know if he has one or not because I'm not in his life anymore and I don't care) and try to bother her about him owing me anything
My mistake was putting my discord on my Twitter and Instagram because I didn't expect this to happen, but he was still in contact with his recent ex on Discord because he is still under the apartment lease that thankfully ends in a couple months, but she went and blocked him on everything she could find anyway before he even moved out. He deleted his Twitter as soon as his ex from 3 years ago messaged me because he had her blocked once he made the account to avoid any interaction, but it didn't work, clearly.>>1471097
It confuses me, does that make me unstable too? I seem to be doing quite well given the fact I'm doing my best to stay offline. Were his past relationships just fillers?
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on a scale of 0-10 how pissed would you be if someone who promised to watch a movie with you LAST NIGHT now told you they just watched it with some random friends in a discord call? can't tell if i am being irrational or not right now.
maybe slightly annoyed but thats it, a 2/10 at most on your scale. you should just watch the film by yourself nonny
. also your friend could always rewatch it with you
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fuck my life. I wanted to edit a cute picture, then clean my apartment and then do some studying before bet. Then I get an ad for some game that I thought looked cute and like some boomer I actually download it. Then I waste one hour playing some stupid mobile game. The gameplay wasn't even that good just addictive enough. This is why you should never turn adblocker of your phone
it was "an unplanned watchparty uwu" so no, apparently not. >>1471137
ugh, i'm sorry that happened to you! i don't understand what is hard about waiting for a day to experience the movie with someone you are close to instead of some random dipshits.
thanks for the validation nonas, it just feels like extra shit because i was working on a homemade present for multiple hours for this person right before this. but it's fine, i'll get over it.
Sucks that happened to you! To be fair, HP 6th movie is the worst one. they basically just do nothing from the books and skip over very important information. I had to re-read the book after seeing that shit movie in theaters.
Your friend still sucks though
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Anons who are unironically like "but most men aren't bad", "not all men!!" don't realize how fortunate they are if that's their experience.
How come your experience is the only valid
one and your conclusions aren't subject to reason?
>>1471148>I'm getting really fed up of existing.
I feel you. I feel that way a lot.
>Is getting a degree even worth it anymore, just so i can satisfy my consoomer desire to live in a nice house and have nice things when i can jist live in a van and work in a warehouse with no belongings?
Yes, because nice house and nice things are awesome. Also, if you run into some bad luck, e.g car repairs, it's better to have job that pays well.
>i don't want to care if anybody likes me and i don't make myself suffer for seemingly no reason. I feel so guilty of this being the core of my depression because it seems so stupid and frivalous.
There is no reason to feel guilty about this. Wanting other people to like you and wanting to not suffer are core human traits that everyone has. It's not a bad thing. And it really, really sucks, when you can't, for whatever reason, make that happen.
>I am also bored out of my mind constantly doing shit i don't want to do all day fucking long every single day, even the things that i want to do fail to bring me much pleasure as i thought it would and feel so fleeting. The universe wants me to be a worthless sack of shit and just want die.
Believe it or not that's just depression talking. Life throws crap at everyone. But people who have high levels of anxiety and depression and don't have a social support network have harder times of dealing with it. Ask me how I know.
>No matter how much i try to change myself to give myself a life that is worth living and to be a person who people would find to be approachable it's so fucking impossible.
This isn't your fault. It's very, very hard to change yourself, by yourself. (ask me how i know). It's so much easier if you have even one supporting, accepting person in your life who can give advice, point out blindspots, commiserate when things go bad, encourage when full of doubt. People who don't have that have it so much harder. Based on yourself description, it sounds like you are autistic maybe or have social anxiety disorder or something like that. If it's available and when you can afford it, I suggest trying therapy. A good therapist can do wonders. Or you can try to find a support group for social anxiety, social phobia, austism, etc. You might be able to connect with someone there. Are you in university? If your uni has a counseling dept for students, you can start there.
are you ok nonnie
? dating is hard ik i hope you haven't been let down bc i know what that's like
and yeah it silly since there are so many variables that could be affecting the potential partner's behaviour.
wow are you me?
i tried to get into mewing once (dont judge me anons) and it actually did help my breathing, but i find it too much effort to constantly keep my tongue in that forced position.
on tiktok i heard that some people put duct tape over their mouths to stop themselves from mouth breathing in the night and apparently its actually been helpful for some people. sometimes i wonder if i should start doing that. my mouth breather nature repulses me
ayrt, my teeth also don't align. i think thats been a big part of the problem. i havent been to a dentist in years rip but i do feel like i suffer with a narrow palate also, and maybe even something like a deviated septum bc like you i never really feel like i can get enough air when i'm breathing.
not that listing off all these things helps you much, but i do understand the mouth breathing struggle anon. i wish there was an easy home solution that didnt require extensive dental work. having a weak chin fucking sucks too i feel like i have to hide the lower half of my profile constantly
can you go inpatient or something? 3 suicide attempts in a week is… a lot, not to state the obvious but it sounds like you need to stay somewhere theyre equipped to look after you.
do you have any family also? they might be able to help or let them stay with them for a while
i understand, but i think if youre trying to end your own life multiple times in a short span of time missing classes is the least of your worries. would it be possible to ask your college to let you take some time off due to health problems?
i know for me, when i was in a mental health crisis at university i didnt feel like i could talk to anyone, and in the end i had to drop out bc i couldnt take being there anymore. if i could go back i think it wouldve been good to request a year off so i could have the time to revaluate what i wanted to do.
, i know it might be hard to think of an answer, but what do you enjoy doing? i think about suicide a lot - every day, honestly. right now one thing that keeps me going is finding new music, as stupid as that sounds. its like the smallest most insignificant thing, but its something to cling onto.
it really sounds like you need someone to talk to, since you cant talk to your family or ex about all of this. if its an option for you to reach out to anyone i would gently recommend you do that, but if not then lc anons are always here, too, and sometimes shitposting here helps when i have litearlly 0 other outlets lol
i think the fact that you have survived 3+ suicide attempts means that you are either invincible (if so, congrats) or that you are using shitty ways to attempt to kill yourself instead of something more fool proof because you don't actually want to die. the fact that you even give a fuck about your classes shows that you are still hanging onto being a living human, so cheer up nonny
, because deep down that's what you want to do instead of killing yourself.
don't die because your boyfriend broke up with you or because sleep deprivation is hitting you and whatever else is going wrong right now, just suck it up and tough it out because things are gonna get better eventually. everything is temporary, both the good and the bad bits about life.
i tried so many things, ive been depressed for years at this point and to be honest the main thing that kept me going was my boyfriend and my mind is basically stuck on that even tho we are just taking a break but it's really eating me up from the inside. i did try to find enjoyment in small things such as spending money on figurines or books.
sadly it's all just that little temporary feeling of being satisfied and i don't know how to keep going. i'm sadly thinking about another attempt but i'm going to let my body rest. it's just too much for me at this point and whatever i tried, it didn't help me at all.
i do go to therapy from time to time but i feel like i'm just getting worse at this point
i do have liver damage and i can't use my right arm anymore which is quite unfortunate
putting myself through an od and surviving a deep slash on my forearm is quite the surprise
and it's okay if it gets worse with time, i guess.
i think the biggest issue is that i am willing to do worse than the other attempts
i know life has its ups and downs but it's just not bearable anymore and i want it to end
yeah i will try to bring that up next session if i'm still there by then
it's really difficult and i don't have an outlet right now so i'm sorry if this is just not the place but i have no one anymore and venting to the void is atleast a bit helpful
i think the issue is that i didn't even go to the hospital. i bandaged myself up and i had to throw up alot this past week
avoiding the hospital at all costs tbh
i even tried it in the forest but i still ended up going home with slashes on my arms
my therapists can't help me anymore
i actually have 3 therapists but yeah
i think its sorta silly that youre happy to try to overdose or cut yourself and bleed to death but you don't want to be sectioned because you'll miss classes. even if you don't die and keep going to classes, what will be the point when youre clearly not in the right headspace to be learning anything?
honestly nonna i think you need a break, your current environment clearly isnt helping you
well, i'm not killing myself because of my boyfriend. what happened between us was just a little drop of the issues i already have.
god knows what's wrong with me, ive been in therapy for 8 years yet i am still fucked over and this is possibly the worst. not even 3 therapists can't help me
mid 20s, college student. i don't think age really matters though. this can happen to anyone and some people chose to deal with their issues in their own ways
may it be harming themselves or sucking it up
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get a 5th one for this
ayrt >because most people i've seen just don't think my issues are serious or a big deal so i went all my life like that.
Same here. I thought I was just a pathetic loser who could not make friends and was just a general failure of a human being who everybody hated. My mom was always calling me lazy and stuff.
But one day I saw a commercial for a drug for social anxiety and was like "wait that kind of sounds like me." It took a while, months actually, but I got myself together and saw a psychiatrist and got diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and depression. It was so nice to know I had actual mental health issues and was not a born failure. My parents, family, and friend noticed nothing and just wrote me off as being a lazy disappointment. They did try to get me to interact with people and be less avoidant, but they thought I was like normal people levels of shy and didn't have any idea of how deep my avoidance and anxiety ran.
tl;dr a lot times girls with mental heath issues don't get noticed by family and friends. Go back to the counselor. Get tested. Try therapy. It make take a three or four therapists before you find one you can connect with but it's worth it.
I'm wishing you all the best and know you can become the person you want to be.
I'm very sorry that this happened to you. And that you have to deal with this. If you went to treatment for bulimia, reach out to a therapist and ask for help with this issue. This a trigger
, just like the thing that triggered
your bulimia, and can be treated.
i did that but it's absurdly hard to find anyone good around my area
i am starting to think that it's just better to give up and end it
i don't think i will have a good future anyway
i don't wanna be severely depressed in my 30s. i don't even wanna try searching for any new therapists at this point because it's not worth it
lucky for me i have some ropes at home though
and i don't know sometimes venting helps but i can't do it with people i know
i had a meal and a shower before already.
i ordered a big time favorite meal of mine so i could feel a bit better but i ended up having a mental breakdown
trust me, i am trying everything so i don't end up doing more harm to myself but it feels so pointless now
knowing how much of a retard you are about suicide attempts you're going to fuck up the hangman's knot and somehow break your neck without actually dying. gonna be great for your family and friends to take care of you once you are a paraplegic cripple, much better than simply speaking to them about not feeling good >>1471369
go out and socialize or even just take a walk in a park, do anything but sit in your musty room and cry about how you are the most fucked up human to ever exist
>>1471375>i just don't want to go inpatient again. my last time was terrible
You could have saved a lot of back forth if you had said this first instead of saying you didn't want to miss class.
If you don't want to go back to inpatient, then tell as much of the truth as possible that will not get your therapists asking you to go inpatient. Like tell them you have been self-harming but not that you've been doing half-assed suicide attempts. If that's too much, tell them you've been really tempted to self-harm, but haven't etc.
random q but how do you afford 3 therapists? are they provided free with your healthcare?
just seems like itd be insanely expensive idk
damn thats fortunate.
im in the uk but theres no way in hell id be able to get so much therapy on the nhs for free, theyre hesitant to even give you one unless youre an active risk to yourself. they've been reluctant to provide me with any mental health support at all lol.
what do you guys even talk about in your therapy sessions?
hm well, for my current psychiatrist, i had to go to the ER first and declare that i was an active risk to myself
we mostly talk about medication and i am still struggling to properly open up
same with my other therapists, the one for my autism barely does anything even tho i try to explain it as good as possible
i am lucky that i have access here but it's just not fun when it doesn't improve my situation AT ALL
the medication i am on doesn't do shit anymore
yup, simple as that. that's why i try to avoid conversations that include selfharm or suicide attempts for my own good
inpatient here is awful. got treated like shit and the nurses really just don't care about their jobs
ok, do they have a physical location you could visit then to see them in person or is that not an option? if theyre ignoring your calls thats a pretty big deal.
sorry to ask you a lot of questions anon, it's just kind of hard to sit here and not try to at least attempt to be helpful (even if at the end of the day its falling on deaf ears)
i think i just completely gave up. i had a good crisis plan a year ago but that plan consisted out of going back to inpatient
calling it good here because that plan sounds good for everyone
i had hope when i still had my partner but that's just not the matter right now
i get that but at the same time they do have a duty to respond to you. even if you can just talk to a receptionist and really place emphasis on the fact that you need to talk to your psychiatrist immediately and that your calls havent been answered, i think thatd be better than waiting for a response that could take a long time.
also very unrelated q but do you have a job, or are you a full time student?
well i'm not the only patient and there are other patients that need more help than i do
also i'm a full time student
because my psychiatrist fucking thought it was the only good thing but thank god i never went through that plan
maybe i need a new one
i should switch to a new one maybe
i just need this agony to stop
>>1471431>other patients that need more help than i do
i mean… considering the aforementioned multiple suicide attempts, i doubt that, no. and thats not really the point– even if you werent trying to kill yourself, they still have a duty to deal with each and every one of their patients in a timely and reasonable manner. they can't exactly turn down someone in a crisis situation because 'theres other people who need help too'.
but i dont think this line of questioning has been particularly productive honestly. have you tried a suicide helpline or anything like that? has it been helpful in any way to talk to the anons itt about all this?
suicide helplines are completely useless.
they hung up on me everytime
So in situations with shitty therapists, you have two options. Option 1 is change therapists. Option 2 is ride them until they start acting right.
So, for option 1, you tell each therapist this isn't working for you and ask for a referral.
Option 2 involves you taking charge of the situation and your own healthcare and pushing back when they do things you don't like. This would include things like calling your psychiatrist everyday until he returns your calls. Or calling his manager, every couple of days until someone gets in contact with you. It's looking into treatments of autism and asking your autism therapist why she isn't doing x, y, or z treatment and not letting her blow you off.
but it sounds like you don't have the mental bandwidth for two right now. Is there anyone in your life who does and can advocate for you with these doctors?
why would a suicide hotline hang up on you lmao.
also, arent there ones you can do that are like instant messaging services? correct me if im wrong bc so far ive never had to contact a suicide helpline, but im sure ive seen those advertised before
i don't really have anyone in my life who could help me with this. i mean i had my boyfriend but besides that i don't have anyone i could reach out too
and yeah i just don't have the mental energy for anything. even speaking with a professional would drain me
idk the hotlines haven't been helpful at all
and the IM stuff is too much work and i just don't really trust it
hung up after i told them i serioulsy needed help so yeah
if you are really in a crisis those hotlines don't do jackshit
family is not an option due to my past and my friends are like 'yeah same i get how you feel'
and switch the topic
the IM required an email and phone number and i wasn't too comfortable about giving those away i guess. i just feel iffy whenever i see suicide hotline stuff at this point
and i like venting here even if the outcome is not that good
one of my friends had the same issue with the suicide hotline
they just don't give a fuck
maybe i need help maybe i don't. i am not even sure at this point
it's just hard to keep going after years and maybe it's really better to somewhat succeed at a suicide attempt soon so i don't take up my therapists times anymore
they should care for those who really need help and who want to accept help. not for people like me who aren't willing to put in any kind of effort to make themselves feel better because they just don't see hope in their lives anymore
at this point i just have to lie so i don't end up in a shitty ass mental facility
Thank you nona. She lived a long time and I'm grateful for all the time we had together.
I know my parents really loved her too. One moment I can't get out of my head was the day of her burial. I was talking to some of the people and getting the paperwork in order but needed to get my dad to come over to listen to some stuff too. He was in the other room where we set her body down, and it was just the two of them and he was just silently sitting there and petting her. That day was the first time I had ever seen my dad cry. My mom cried too. I know they loved her too, but that's why it's so baffling to me that they have to chastise me whenever they catch me crying about her. It's not like they think of losing her as any different to losing any of our human family members… but it's like… don't you miss her too? She was a big part of all of our lives. I feel like it's unfair to say I love or cared for her more than they did, but I feel like I'm the only one who is still grieving and they've moved on already. I asked my dad if we could go visit her on Christmas day and he just… forgot.
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My hamster is sick I took her to the vet and apparently she has a probable bladder infection so she's on antibiotics and an inflammatory. Cost like $160. If she doesn't get better they said it might be a tumor or something in which case it will mostly be comfort care. My poor baby she's only like a year and a few months old and she's so sweet (has never bitten). She's so eenie weenie it was difficult measuring her medication but she ate it like a good girl
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hamsters are so sweet and adorable, it's sad their health is so fragile. thots and prayers for ur lil ham
From what I researched, qualified surrogates need to have been pregnant before. I wish that weren’t the case because I would do it in a heartbeat.>>1471594
Thanks for the suggestion, nona. I never heard of this procedure being used for that. I will definitely talk to an oncologist sometime too. It might help ease my anxiety about this more.
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I hate being a paranoid mess I’m contemplating spending alot of money for hone security items for my sister because she moved out and I keep having the same running thoughts about her being in danger. I always tried to be there for my brother and sister and because of that they also grew up to be very paranoid and immediately defensive whenever a situation seems dangerous. So now I’m looking at laws for self defense and looking for security cameras. Might just buy her a self defense kit for every room and a metal door stopper, I just wish I could be there so she would never have to use any of that
My vent is that I can't sleep because I keep thinking about this >>1468391
post and laughing so hard my stomach hurts.
Nonas I saw some completely rancid takes today (my fault for going on tumblr and twitter before I had any coffee) and I'm just… I'm so mad about the state of feminism today. Will attach some pics. (tumblr post that made me mad here: https://www.tumblr.com/fluentisonus/706295990159900673/100-serious-when-i-say-this-is-possibly-the-worst
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3/3 (get a fucking job)
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Wishing your lil hammie all the best and a speedy recovery!
>>1471731>how could something that promotes objectification of women possibly harm you, a woman?
There's no convincing libfems like this either because as soon as they have a bad experience with pornsick moids they'll just make excuses for them and defend them in the name of 'sex-positivity'.
Also it's really telling how the original tweet is about hating pornography and the reply just instantly assumes this means they hate or blame the woman in the porn? It's like saying you hate 3rd world sweatshops and someone responding with 'what did the underpaid mistreated laborers do to you?', absolutely ridiculous.
Oh, man that would also drive me nuts.
Sorry you have to deal with that. Can you put down a paper with your company's name to claim a space.
" and said multiple times that "he'd never hit me" (nobody asked!!!! I never even thought of that).
FYI, if you are dumb enough to go back to him, he's totally going to hit you. He told you that because he was thinking about hitting you and decided not you. But if you accept his loser as back, it's proof to him that you will tolerate mistreatment and shit. So, good luck with that.
>dude needs to truly realise he's got issues.
Why would he do that, when women keep coming back to him even with his issues.
>>1470807>Whenever we'd get into a conflict I'd just see this insecure teenager that does everything in his power to defend himself from being proven wrong - classic blatant trauma response.
Yeah, this is story you've made up about him to so you don't have to accept that he's just trash. Look at least read "Why Does He Do That" by Lundy Bancroft before talking to this guy again. It explains how abusive
moids think so you will actually know what's going on with this guy instead of the story you've made up about him.
>>1470813>even tho he's a mess but i wanna help him and get him therapy
Wha?? This never works. You are just dooming yourself to a shitty relationship. You also should read Why Does He Do That even more than the other anon.
Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancrofthttps://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf
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There's this schizophrenic junkie in my neighborhood (it's not even a shitty neighborhood and one of the more expensive ones in my city but she lives in social housing) and you can hear her scream her lungs out in the streets every couple of days/nights. Some days I'm scared that she'll seriously hurt or attack someone. Today she kept throwing shit (not actual shit) at people and even kids who were just walking and minding their own business. She even throws shit at parents who are walking with their toddlers and babies. I don't care if I sound unhinged, I hope she croaks at this point. I wish authorities would do something about it but they don't give a fuck.
Anon, LDRs that start as LDRs 'aren't real'. Temporary LDRs are fine. >. i really don't want to leave, i feel like such a child having a cry tantrum right now. i had to take a break from packing so i can have a proper cry break and get it out of my system
Do you know that some of the most stressful times in a person's life are moving, marriage and birth of a child? What Im saying is that it's normal to feel stress at a time of life change, like moving hours away from your bf and I assume family. It's not childish. Have that cry and don't feel bad about it.
The "single, chidless women will be miserable catladies" psyop is finally crumbling. While moids are suffering from porn addiction, nieche fetishes and can't cope with not having a mommy-mcbang-maid after they leave their mommies house, all these misogynistic "redpill"/female purity videos is being shitted out on a conveyor belt, with a 99% moid audience. I hate to say this, but while women are thriving, living their best lives, eating amazing food, travelling, being financially independent, these moids will retaliate. We need a female-only country or something were women and girls can seek refuge.
When a moid apporaches me and asks me for my number, I legit am afraid of saying "sorry, i'm single and not dating right now", instead I just say I have a boyfriend. That always makes them leave me alone, if not or if they give me bad vibes, I'll say "I'm waiting on my boyfriend he'll be here any minute".
The fact that a woman chose to be single fucks their minds and they get agressive.
I said it before and I'll say it again: when this psyop fails, and women continue to chose to be single, these moids will escalate the situation. Redpill psyops, troon bait and switch relationships, and online hookups start to fail massively and porn addiction and rapes go up, all while women are just vibing and enjoying themselves existing in a society with these animals, yall would've wished women had created a refuge city or country while we could. I don't see a good ending to this tbh. I'm going to buy a handgun.
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I did a shroom trip with my friends but instead of having hallucinations i just became ultra emotional and realised a ton of things that i just wouldn't face and the end of the trip felt like this gif
I feel a bit awful saying that but in one take i feel like this helped me more than 5 years on anti depressants. The next 7 days after the trip i was able to break the negative toughts spiral and was ultra hopeful for the future. Rn the effects have diminished considerably but still not as worst than before the trip. I'm seriously considering buying a grow kit to microdose.
I had a similar experience with psychedelics. I finally understood the root of my issues and could implement steps to improve my life. It took years until my mental state became neutral because insight doesn't magically get rid of toxic
thought patters and depression and anxiety, but it did allow me to act productively instead of huffing copium and being edgy and wallowing.
MDMA is great for this too, you become all but incapable of not accepting and loving yourself on it and it really changed my outlook on myself. Turns out it really is okay to be me.
(I only ever take drugs alone though, so my experiences are probably more introspective than if you roll at a party).
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Bump dont scroll. Cp first page.
Mmh that's what i'm a bit scared of, psilocybin resistance builds ultra quickly but at the same time i see people microdosing weekly so… idk.>>1471873>but it did allow me to act productively instead of huffing copium and being edgy and wallowing.
Haha basically what i felt like.
Tbh i'm too much of a pussy to try synthetic drugs like mdma even more so knowing that these kinds of drugs get cut a lot with other stuff in my area, while the shrooms came from a legal dealer from the netherlands.
Fuck zone girls can look like supermodels, it's all about what kind of mindset you have. Successful women signal that they have very high confidence and moids have to work to even breathe the same air as them. I look very regular but I give off confidence and I put myself first in everything I do. I know conventionally attractive moids try to say "omg you are beautiful" and they expect me to fall for them instantly. I had one of those guys in one of my classes. I would ignore him, never tried to make myself pretty for him, or respond to his flirtations. Somehow he found my instagram and tried to talk. When I say I look regular, I mean it. I never style my hair or exercise that often, I wear jeans and a loose fitting top. That's it. I knew he wanted an easy lay or attention, but I did not care. He was hot but Idgaf.
I'm so sad when I see women, pretty or not, go the pick-me route bc they have sipped the "lonley catlady" narrative. I promise you, once you give off this vibe and keep it up, moids off all leagues will do anything. Why do you think they simp for pornstars, instagram and OF models for years? Those women don't respond or give them the time of day.
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I just found out that the Welcome to the NHK scene where they design an anime girl got taken down after so many years.
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the one time I took a shroom trip was with a few friends. I was sitting outside because I felt like I was gonna puke and a guy came out and started trauma dumping about getting diddled as a kid, then broke down sobbing and telling me how hes trans and really a woman because and begging for affirmation. I barely knew this guy and was currently struggling with my own shroom demons but I had to put that aside to babysit him so he didn't harm himself, and during this I realized how none of this guys' friends came out to help him and they expected me to fill this role as caretaker for a dude I don't know. The whole experience peaked me so hard.
And then after the trip for months he would talk about this "meditative journey" we took together and look at me with sappy eyes like no you selfish, unaware bitch that was you burdening me, not a journey. I am never ever tripping with anyone ever again.
What the anon in >>1472141
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>stop looking for work
>stop giving a shit about my family asking me when i am going to get a job
>start shamelessly neeting
>havent had a panic attack since then and i am actually enjoying life
fuck working and fuck my retarded family
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cut off a close friend recently. I never /felt/ that close to her, but we spent everyday with together. I knew she wasn't someone I could rely on, and we were only so close because we smoke weed and familiarity is comforting. I feel bad about it, though.
Anyways, I'm going abroad in a couple of weeks, as is she, and I'm scared to meet new people. I think of myself as friendly and open-minded, but I'm picky about who I want to spend lots of time with :/
I want to find someone I really feel like I connect with. I'm 21 and it feels like everyone my age is concerned with themselves, and not necessarily with making meaningful interactions. Immaturity is fine, but I'm worried it will cause me to feel lonely and spend the semester locked in my room, chronically online!
There is no ‘our’ kid, nonnie
. Why did your guy have a kid with such an apparent nutcase?
i have this friend who's like my semi bff since we text a lot and i can be really open with her, i even introduced her into rf (which i hide from a lot of people) even tho she's really far from that but she's more into the transphobic area (which i dont blame it since i am too lmao) but goddamn sometimes i cant stand her. Last week she invited a stranger into her apt, mind you she met him since the new year, she invited him for hook up (she always does that) and she felt something suspicious from him when she was at the bathroom so she called me and i stayed on the lane til the cops entered into her apt bc she felt anxious and already kicked him out the door bc she felt that he put a spy camera behind her back, at the end he didnt do that but she told me she felt so traumatized that she was almost having a sleepless night because of that, i told her to stop hooking up in korea because these men are way too gross, she told me that she was planning to stop hooking up, so i thought it was finally done for her and she wont be in danger anymore. Again, yesterday she told me that she hooked up with another stranger dude. She really doesnt want to learn that men are too dangerous, especially in korea with the spy cam shit, its making me angry at that point, she doesnt see that they are all profiting of her, i told her multiple times that she doesnt benificiate anything from hooking up with strangers despite being seen as fresh meat for men, but she still ignores what i am saying and still continues her shit, im on the verge of blocking her at that point because its pissing me off. i dont wanna be bother by late night calls because she felt again that someone put a camera on her room, i really told her how to not be in that situation but she does everything to ignore what ive told her, its really tiring to talk with stubborn people at that point, its like they are seeking for danger and then complain that they were in danger.
>>1472122>Fuck zone girls can look like supermodels, it's all about what kind of mindset you have
This used to be me, and is such an embarrassment to even admit it, I was too young and didn't understand the situations I was getting into. Went through a lot of abuse so I was insecure and very vulnerable since ever, yet I grew up to be a "very pretty girl" but that didn't change the way I actually perceived myself, I still acted like I was the ugly, miserable kid that nobody cared for and even when moids could tell I was out of their league, they took advantage of my insecurities and absolute lack of self-esteem because I, in fact, didn't love myself
I envy you, I wish I could be that confident no matter what, I don't care about scrotes I'm just tired of being perceived as "replaceable" and unworthy, looks couldn't fix whatever is wrong with me
Oh sorry, I saw her talking about hoping money comes through soon and thought those were the only foods she had on hand. I've had to survive on peanut butter from being broke before, so thought she was in the same place.
It's not a very good weight loss thing. That kind of sugar intake without anything to balance it out is a fast track to diabetic weight loss. High blood sugar makes it harder for insulin to work as intended (using glucose to fuel your cells), so the body burns fat and muscle instead because it has a harder time accessing the extra glucose. High sugar diets for weight loss are really dangerous and a lot of liquid diets are fruit juices, honey-cayenne, or other things with a high sugar load. Sorry to megasperg but these diets can really mess up one's health long term so I'm worried for nonna.
I'm not the OP, so maybe I just read it wrong.
That's very interesting, thanks for explaining.> these diets can really mess up one's health long term
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I'm trying to figure out how to color change yarn without cutting it. It's working but bunching up my work, ffs. >>1472336
How many times are you going to post about how you want to kill children, fucking freak.
I mean I'll gladly go on another spergfest, but if you want cohesive information this article goes into cardiovascular effects: https://www.health.harvard.edu/heart-health/the-sweet-danger-of-sugar
The issue is less about consuming sugar outright, but consuming sugar without anything else to balance it out or slow absorption. Honey-water will cause a quick glucose spike and crash, but peanut butter has fat and protein in addition to sugar and thus will mediate how fast and hard your blood sugar rises and falls. Alcohol has an even more profound effect on blood sugar and can cause severe lows and crashes. All in all combining a mostly sugary liquid diet with alcohol is a recipe for feeling rough so I hope nonna gets new food soon!
How am I being a pickme?>>1472382
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I miss having a flat stomach and being skinny. I’m watching earth girls are easy and I want her body so bad.
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I think they did it, my family finally broke me. My mom is like 9 states away yet its still my fault that she got sick. My aunt, who only sees my mom once every two years, called me to tell me its my fault she's sick and that she hopes ''i dont ruin her trip next year'' the reason? my grandma told my mom i wasnt watering her plants(i was) because she woke up at 5pm and the dirt was already dry. I am so fucking tired, everytime my mom gets sick its my fault. I can barely remember anything from my teenage years because i was depressed and drugged up all the time. Everyone blames me when my mom gets hurt/sick, but every time i tell her not to do something she screams at me and does it anyways. I can still remember my aunt telling i have to check my mom doesnt walk close to the pool in case she falls and dies, when i was fucking 14yo. I hate that they think i have to always babysit my mom, when she's a grown ass woman and if she gave a shit about me she wouldnt do all the shit she does that could potentially risk her life. They pestered my mind with the idea that my mom could die at any time and that it would be my fault, despite she never telling me anything.
I dont care anymore, i dont care if i am selfish or if my mom dies, i am tired of having to dissociate to forget about her. I fucking hate all of my family and i want to fucking flee, but no job pays me enough to live on my own and i have no friends so i gotta put extra effort onto freelancing. I really wish i could kill myself but i have to take care of a cat, which seems to be the only living thing that cares about me.
(i swear there used to be an advice thread but my retarded ass cant find it in the catalogue)
anyway, my former friend reached out to me (a simple hey how are you?) via tiktok dms, where i dont have her added. its been a couple of months, last year we kind of had a fight - i thought our friendship was completely fine, but one day she just randomly told me she didnt want to be friends anymore because she didnt feel like i was involved enough in her life or something, and she only wanted to keep people in her life who she felt would put in effort. i didnt really know what to say to that so i just flat out didnt respond, and then she was like 'see youre ghosting me, this isnt going to work out.'
so yeah whatever, i was annoyed and upset but i didnt care very much about losing the friendship if thats how she felt.
im just wondering how much of an asshole ill look if i dont respond to her this time around, or if i actually want to bother to respond and at least try to repair the friendship.
we were pretty close at one point, but honestly… i find her hard to handle. especially the last time i met her, she seemed kind of off, and also like she was looking down on me?
she has some ongoing mental health stuff going on too, as do i, but… yeah its just a lot to deal with her sometimes. not too sure i want to open that can of worms again.
OH thats why, thanks nonny
whys it even on /g/;; we have the stupid questions thread here but not the advice thread, wtf
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The topic for /g/ is officially:> This board is for feminine health, advice, and beauty oriented topics. Direct everything else to /ot/ or /m/
So advice is covered but stupid questions are not.
men will do shrooms one singular goddamn time, have an emotion that isn't horny/wallpunch rage/being suicidal and will be like oh my god i'm a woman actually.
sorry you had to deal with that freak nonners.
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kek anon you reminded me of this image
You're not responsible for your mother. She is the one who should be taking care of you, not the other way around. Same with your aunt, and your grandma. If she thinks your mother needs care then she should step up. You did not do anything wrong. They are bad people for treating you like this and putting this on you. They cause your mental illness and should take responsibility, but somehow it is you who they say is selfish for doing everything you can, far more than you should ever be asked to do, while it's not selfish for them to give nothing and take everything, really convenient how it works out like that.
I pray you can escape their clutches, you deserve a life of your own away from them, to shine and be happy.
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thanks nonnies, now that i am not on meds all the time and i can think clearly it made me realize so many things about my family and how much they have harmed me psychologically. I know its retarded, but i keep thinking about my mom shouting at me out of nowhere when i was a child for dumb things out of mycontrol, like when she smashed the printer on the floor because it wouldnt print and blamed it on me and how it made me so withdrawn to the point i couldnt look at my parents to their eyes and i wouldnt talk to them because i was so scared of them shouting at me. This year i made it a goal to focus on myself instead of what my family wants of me, which i realized its someone thats not me, because making decent money last year they would still complain about me being introverted. So yeah, i am never going to be good enough for my family to be likeable to them.
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>socially stunted for a shitton of reasons
>trust issues due to past abuse
>try to use aave online sometimes; it's how i speak irl, and feels natural and comfortable
>but i'm autistic
>sometimes mess up slang somehow (??)
>accused of being a colonizer + get snide comments about "durr yt ppl always try to act white tehe"
how do i make them all kill themselves
>>1472637>because i fit multiple criteria but not every single one of them. which i get,
This seems really sus. You shouldn't have to meet every single criteria to get a diagnosis and autism is often misdiagnosed in women. I'm sideyeing whoever assess you.
I don't know how the NHS works, but can you ask for an assessment for anxiety disorders and ADHD? People with Austism are often misdiagnosed with Social Anxiety, Avoidant Personality Disorder, ADHD, etc. If you do get diagnosed with them, at least you can get therapy for something and it maybe help some of the autism symptoms. And maybe they diagnose you correctly with Autism.
Also, you can game the system with these disorders. You can read up on the criteria and tests used to diagnose them so you know exactly what to say to the doctors.
Good luck anon.
>>1472644>accused of being a colonizer
If you are hanging out with the kind of people who call you a colonizer, just go full SJW on them and call them ableists who are oppressing people with language difficulties.
Or tell them you speak English as a second language so they are oppressing you for not being born in the Anglophone world.
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Indian men are uncivilized and savageshttps://twitter.com/JayantBhandari5(Racebait)
yeah, im also on the waiting list for an adhd assessment but it takes a long time sadly. some people have to wait like 4 or 5 years lol
the person assessing me told me to wait on my adhd assessment and see what they say, and she also said i should look into anxiety treatments.
but thanks nonny
, it genuinely helps to hear some encouraging words. i wish i had money so i could pay for private assessments and wouldnt have to wait literal years (forever mad about pixielocks shopping around and dropping $$$ to get her DID diagnosis just bc she felt like it, but i digress)
>I'm sideyeing whoever assess you
to be fair, nhs practitioners have to work within tight guidelines. especially with mental health stuff – they dont really have the funding to give people actual support unless theyre deemed to be in a crisis or something. basically i have to justify it to myself to stop getting too depressed about it
Here's where I don't like relationships. Men really expect you to just fit into their lives. They'll say you are free to do what you want, but you can't go out and do things much because he gets jealous. He will if course go out with his friends without you, or he will drag you along. You feel like a shiny toy sitting there third wheeled to his friend. He can talk about exes and even meet them but you can't because it's obvious you are cheating and don't love him. He will say don't pay for anything I can provide for you, but when you want to spend money it needs his approval, and you can't have more because it emasculates them. You might enjoy giving massages as much as he enjoys getting them, but don't expect one back. The idea of cuddling is a myth, he is horny always. If you aren't he will feel rejected and get upset. He will say you don't live him and are cheating, isn't that familar. They will say you aren't expected to cook or clean but if you don't things will get messy fast, and he will call you lazy. Oh but if you fight or breakup he will go to the moon and back for you, just to get you back, trapped. The most I ever got from him cooking delicious meals, cleaning up, flowers, emotional support was after a fight, then it goes back to "you are mine" if you ever go back.
Man just what is the point yeah
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nomnomnami was in a romantic relationship with a 14 year old when she was in her 20s and im so fucking mad that the kid was a weirdo neet aiden who had a dog eat her out because then no one will pay attention to the fact that nami admitted to meeting up with this kid and sexually touching them
nami's basically back like nothing ever happened and I'm so fucking mad when I shouldn't be
I have to live with the fact that I saw ghostbusters in full for the first time with the aiden two years before they posted the nami callout post and had to act as a middle man for her and one of my friends who blocked her on discord after the dogfucker allegations
there's too many layers to this everyone involved sucks but I hate it I hate everything about it and just remembering this shit makes me feel worse and worse
This is such a dumb fucking post I hate it all I hate that this happened I hate how small the world is I hate that I fucking played the vn they made together when they were dating all those years ago
its not rude at all, dw. i'll probably end up typing a lot though so you can skim through it if you want
well, i definitely believe i have some kind of neurodivergency. i tick a lot of telltale autist/adhd boxes like trouble with eye contact, repetitive movements (i hate to use the word stimming but thats what it is), sensory problems (biggest one is loud/repetitive noises and being in crowds.)
i have trouble with social situations and often feel like theres a barrier between me and the people i interact with, and worry that im being perceived as off or weird because i feel like i cant act 'normally'. i feel very alienated from the rest of society, as if theres something inherently wrong with me.
the person who assessed me told me that they would want to see someone who is extremely socially impaired and struggles to form any social connections at all in order to tick that box – i told her that i dont feel like im completely socially impaired, but certain things like maintaining friendships and meeting strangers are a struggle, so she said i didnt meet that criteria.
theres smaller things as well that seem to fit for me, but theres no real point in me listing everything off.
the only thing i dont relate to is having a special interest. i enjoy learning about lots of different often pretty niche things and i equally enjoy collecting information and making links between things, but unlike how some autistic people are able to spout off facts about trains or whatever, i don't really have just one thing where i can be like 'yep im super into this.' maybe thats more in line with having adhd hyperfixations.
idk, between autism and adhd i feel like there has to be something going on. i was always super quiet and never really acted out as a kid so noone ever had any real reason to suspect i might have something, and now i find as an adult its way harder to get a diagnosis.
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Some obsessed moid hacked my computer and put weird ass folders talking about the fbi and stuff like that on my desktop. I’m so annoyed right now. I unplugged it from the Ethernet and I’m restoring it and wiped everything off but I got too scared to save anything and just did a restore instantly. All my favorite images I hoard are gone. And some of my artwork. I hate moids so much. They probably have my address now too..
You're so powerful nonny
I must of clicked on a link or something. I’m not entirely sure myself honestly. I don’t click links from people I don’t trust though. I feel so confused. >>1472709
This whole situation is about to give me a schizo meltdown. I have some problems with paranoia and this is going to make me go down hill.
Sounds like nonny
forgot to take her schizo pills.
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I have a shit history with some 4chan moid I dated a long time ago and his community has been bothering me a lot since then. Some guys even pretend to be friends but end up being weirdos. I have my pc wiped, that was the first thing I did. I lost my artwork and I’m sad over that. Also did a reset on my router. I didn’t download games that weren’t from steam or downloaded games recently. Probably clicked on a link. >>1472740
I wish it was made up. It would be easier to pop a pill and make it all go away lol
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>received notice from ex's attourney about the house we co-own
>very real possibility I will lose my home bc this jilted manchild needs to cash in then punish me for ending the relationship bc he is a loser
>meanwhile I am a manager at work and one site has been causing me a headache for months namely due to scrotes who try to pull shit over me bc I am a woman
>slowly realizing how impossible my debt hill is to climb even though my bf promises to help me
>of course I am depressed
>can't even talk to friends who either have stable homelives and/or strong familial supports bc it's too embarassing and they cannot relate
>all I have are bf, stepdad, and my dog
>bf helped stepdad move furniture recently
>apparently my stepdad gave himself kudos in front of my bf for being a "strong emotional support" to me lately
>mfw this mf maybe calls once every 2-3 weeks and mostly to tell me what he is up to
>mfw this mf has zero patience so even when I do call him for a technical opinion like my hvac being out I need to keep it to the point cause he won't engage with my emotions about it and esp if I am being too "negative"
>mfw the most supportive thing this mf does is text me "Don't worry" about a serious issue he should 100% be concerned about as a father figure
>mfw this mf told my bf that "he can't always be there to help" me, implying I run to him for help all the time even though I barely come to him for anything at all (due to this known guilt trip) and I have no other family I can go to
Oh yanno, just trying to cope and stay sane over here.
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no i realmjdy do think i'm atistic look, I'v ebeen looking into this. I don't mean to be like, "Fhti si literally me' but it is literally me.>I hate eye contact, I have bangs so It's easier for me to create eye contact>I wil literally prepare jokes like a meal, sit there, and i will season, soak and obess over whats funny i[m about to say>I mimic my sister/cool woemen around me>see above>>1472988
I havce zero idea what this menas
I did take a shot of vodka with cofeew but thats not my issue right nwo, I'm realizing that maybe I'm both artistutisc and dyselexic, I always had issues with the ways words were set up somettimes, so i guess oit's correct. I'm not even driunk though. I just realized that I just have issues. It's not normal I guess. Also my keyboard is on muy legs and rocking back and forth. I'm far away form my laptop.
But i do enjoy the conversatyin
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sleep?The day has just begun nonnita! It's 11;09am,anyway more proof of my condiotion is that my eyes often look, "Unfocused" this isn't me (i'm black) but this is how my eyes tend to look at times. Like I daze off.
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well then i wish you a happy night then! hopefully the hangover the next day isnt too bad .
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My mom just made a hand knit blanket for my daughter's birthday tomorrow and it looks like a fucking tranny flag and I don't know how to tell her and EEEEEEEEEE I FEEL SO FUCKING BAD AAARRRRRRGGGHHHH I HATE TRANNIES FOR THIS
It looks nice, the tranny flags are pink, blue and white or the "gay" tranny flag that has blue, green, another green and white I think.
The colors of the blanket are different to those flags.
Samfag but also,>I don't know how to tell her
Don't, wtf? Stuff that like takes a lot of time, care, and effort. Don't reject a handmade gift just because you have tranny brainworms, especially when the birthday is tomorrow. That's extremely disrespectful to your mother and daughter.
Im not that drunk anymore but what I said stands, I dp type badly normally and I'm also weird about the way certain letters in words are places.
Like I'll lookl at "Mobile' and think, "Oh wow that Bile" or something. OI think i'm artutsctic because of some of my behaviors, like when I was a kid I hated eye contact and I still do, I chalked ti up to being shy though
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It's depressing that there are so many women who think not being attractive is like, the ultimate insult or self-failure for a woman. Should women who don't fit scrote-invented beauty standards and don't want surgery just kill themselves because they're so below everyone else? What about old women? Should they rope the moment they get lines that can't be injected away? Why is it (mostly) socially acceptable for men to be ugly, but the moment a woman argues with another woman, it becomes about how one or both of them must be hideous or obese? It's a general issue, but I even see anons from here try to discredit Andrea Dworkin solely because of her appearance.
A woman can be the ugliest bitch in the world, but if she's right, she's right. It does not matter.
Im ugly and I hate it but i have to learn to live that life and be happy with it. It's hard because even now at 28 i still connect the attention scrttoes give me (when I was tyounger) an dit takes a lot of re-progaming that needs to be done.
Sometimes i think negatuvely like trying to be pretty is "Dressing up a pig" (I'm fat).
Once I was outside and two men on two different days, called me ugly and made sure I heard, I felt like apig in make up. thinking about it makes me want to cry now, bnecause it was so cruel and I feel likeon this site I've become that way
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I miss my ex and he has pulled some of the weirdest hit and cold behavior during our break ups and his words don’t match his actions and I wish he would just fucking talk it out with me
You're more than likely not ugly. You said that you're overweight which can hide the features that make someone stand out as beautiful. I've seen both men and women lose weight and go from being average or unattractive to good looking. Don't listen to moids because they will say anything to make women feel bad about themselves.>>1473067
What she said was at one point a widely held view in academia. It never went away and we are seeing it's resurgence. Dworkin is like anyone else, while I agree with a lot of what she wrote, I find some of her writing on politics to be particularly prophetic. She was still human and therefore flawed. She at least had the humility to admit that she was wrong and change her opinion.
no i am ugly, i look like a fat monster, I hate looking at myself in the mirror. It's funny because I remember being young and like>If nobody tells you are ugly would you think you are ugly?
and the answer is yes.>>1472981>>1472990>>1472993>>1472990>>1473001
I made these post while very drunk and I apologize, I also meant, "Autistic" not "Artistic"
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Decided to rewatch Sharp Objects. I can't put in words how stupid I am, I know what it does to me and I'm doing it on purpose. Someone please give me some pills so I'm not that stupid anymore. Well, at least I know that I'm stupid.
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My elf nipple hurts
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Welcome to Iceland! I hope you have a great time while visiting. Can't really give any advice regarding the nightlife here since I personally dislike it and drinking in general but here is a link to Reykjavík nightlife I found online for tourists https://guidetoiceland.is/reykjavik-guide/nightlife-in-reykjavik
from what I can see there are more helpful information too, all free.
It's good you're wearing a great pair of boots instead of high heels as you will do a lot of walking along with the all of the snow and slippery side walks, it can be a bit dangerous. I apologize for not being more helpful, I do have one more advice not related to the nightlife which is that for groceries the cheapest store is Bónus, the one with the cartoon pink pig and if you want to buy alcohol physically you can only buy them in pubs, clubs, Vínbúðin and the best price for it is in duty free. Are you the anon that posted on /g/ where to meet Icelandic guys and more? Been a couple of years but it always been stuck in my mind
he just wanted to assert weird moid scrote aura nonnie
pay no mind
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It’s my birthday next week, and I’ve been feeling pretty sad about the fact that I moved to a new town with my fiancé and don’t really have any girl friends to see or celebrate with. My spirits were lifted when I found my mom sent me a birthday package in the mail! I opened it and…it’s an elastic, “core shaper”/waist trainer thing. So that I can “hurry up and get in shape and look thinner before my wedding!”.
Thanks, I guess
It's pretty frustrating that a lot of society doesn't understand that parents can be bad sometimes. A while back I saw some online story were basically this dad was yelling at there adult child about how good they have it and how they ask very little from them. Everyone in the comments was defending the parents. Now to be fair, I don't know the circumstances of that exact case I saw, maybe the daughter really is a piece of shit, who knows? But honestly, I feel like the dad seemed really unhinged.
I mean, of course I'm biased because my parents were 'rough around the edges', to put it lightly, but I don't know why everyone always thinks the child is in the wrong. I won't blogpost about my cringe past but basically I guess you can't imagine what maladjusted or even physically violent parents are like if you've never had one. I've seen people tell stories similarly to mine where people respond with 'There's no way that happened, that sounds fake'. Honestly, it's great if they can't relate but I don't get why everyone has to jump to conclusions. IDK, it's just been bothering me lately.
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today feels like a sad day i don't know why either and the more i try to justify why im sad the more frustrated i get because everything that could be bothering me is grasping straws..anyways i like this dress and id get it if it was made from better material
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I'm dieting and eating less than I was before, but I still feel like I'm eating too much…
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i wish i could make pretty art, i hate everything i make. I feel like i dont have ''the thing'' y'know, what makes an artist be able to make art that burns to the back of your retins. I can study, practice, but i will never be able to make something i truly like.
i got a really similar email a couple weeks ago lmao. it was so dumb and written in this cringe moustache twirling way, like 'i am sorry to tell you that theres nothing you can do about this. i see you have very specific tastes… you know exactly what i mean… and in exactly 10 business days i will share it with all your friends and family. better luck next time, i recommend changing your password!'
i almost wanted to laugh, it was so bad.