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File: 1458226392234.jpg (17.01 KB, 424x283, fmPZ3u3.jpg)

No. 81635

Surely not everyone here is a complete sperg and can give pointers on how to make small chat, be friendly, keep friends, and manage your emotions? Does anyone have any good resources or tips?

No. 81637

Just be yourself famalam.

No. 81640

I don't really care because I know other people are just as weird. I like sports and rap music and that helps me make friends. Sharing a common interest is all you need most of the time. Always ask them how they are doing. That goes a long way.

No. 81669

Listen twice as much as you talk. Don't change the subject quickly, if someone is talking about the music they like, don't switch it to the music you like. Ask them why the like it, when they got into it, ect.

No. 81670

>>81637
This is not a meme. Be yourself, show confidence in what you do and people will like you. Some might hate you for being different but if you are secure in your autism even your haters will admire you.

t. 19 year old professional assburger until a few months ago

No. 81693

I give people random compliments that I don't mean If you notice a girl has nailpolish on you can say "nice color" or something, if she changed her hair say you like her hair, so on… that makes them like you a little more I think!

No. 81697

Currently I'm only enrolled in school and when I worked, I was able to make friends with coworkers through chronic exposure and our mutual hate for our workplace and managers. How do I initiate anything in a huge school with classes that seat 270+ students? I feel so faking awkward just thinking about going to events because I would have to go alone (this usually doesn't bother me but the pressure of trying/wanting to talk to someone cripples me). I'm going to move into the dorms next year, hopefully that forces my hand.

No. 81700

>>81693
Professional 19 year old assburger here, I did this asslicking shit too and I can confirm that this is not a good thing. I mean yes its good to do it if you'd actually mean it but The stacies will just use you for the compliments you give because they know you give them attention. Its a beta thing to do, in short…just be yourself fam!

No. 81709

>>81693
>>81700
I swear this is not a humblebrag, the pain of looking like a Stacey but acting like an assburger is real. Does anyone have this problem?

No. 81712

>>81709
>>81700

and you guys wonder why r9k wants to come here and make all of us their waifus.

No. 81724

>>81712
They're too idiotic to realize that the assburgers here are not happy being assburgers and do not want to date other tards.

No. 81744

>>81700
You're not supposed to do it so often they get on your dick about it, just enough that someone thinks you're nice enough to maybe chat with again. But if that's a beta thing to do, what's an alpha thing to do? I'm okay with beta conversation, used to listen to people's problems a lot like an unpaid psychotherapist, but now I've no idea how the alpha side goes or even how to have a normal convo without warped power dynamics.

No. 81750

>>81744
Complimenting people is not an inherently beta thing to do. It's the mindset and intentions you have when complimenting someone that make it a net positive, neutral, or negative interaction.

No. 82279

"Be yourself" is kinda meme-y advice but it's true, it's a lot easier to socialise when you're not worrying about how to appear "normal" or whatever

Stop thinking of yourself as weird or spergy, most likely it's the insecurity and anxiety that's making you sperg out

Find people with the same interests, it's way easier to make friends

Make an effort to be around people as much as possible

No. 82293

>>82279
What if I simply forget how to b myself when I'm around others?

No. 82310

>>82279
What if I don't know who I am or what I like?

No. 82318

>>82293
>>82310
You are idiots

No. 82320

>>82310
Things should be easier for you, then. If you don't really know what you're about, then you can start hanging out with anybody unless they're criminals or clearly bad news.

No. 82322

>>81693
Reminds me of a girl I knew back in HS. Holy fuck that was so annoying and fake. I remember being in gym class with her and we were talking to a classmate who was wearing a really old walmart shirt with holes. She'd always wear shit like that but this girl would always give her compliments like "Oh, that's cute!" and it was always so fake and forced.

No. 82828

Okay, I'm trying to organize an event and interact with people who may or may not be kind of a big deal IRL and I am so fucking scared I will mess up and act like a retard and ruin things. I've been a retard in this situation before and I really really wish I had someone to sit next to me and tell me if I'm doing something wrong.

No. 83203

>sit down
>realize I'm a fucking retard

i have no charisma, i stumble over my words, i ramble because i have no clue what to say, i rely on my very few socially competent friends to do a lot of normal shit for me out of pity. wat do?

No. 83539

When i was 17, i literally forgot how to talk. What saved me is google searching stupid stuff like "how to small talk", "how to be approachable", "how to be interesting". I'm not a charisma god now, but i can confidently say i can interact with people well now. In short, wikihow is your friend.

No. 83546

>>81669
A++ advice.

Sometimes I forget to do so and feel like shit afterwards because of how rude and inconsiderate this is. For those who have also struggled with this, one way to remember is to think about how good the other person will feel when you let them share something about themselves without making it about yourself. If you do, apologizing and asking them another question related to the topic or about themselves may help.

No. 83547

>>81700
>>81744
Wow, I think you're both overthinking what it means to have a conversation with someone. If you don't have anything to compliment someone on, simply asking about their day is fine to get a discussion going or to get them to feel like you care.

When people want to unload their bs on you, you can cut them off when you feel it's too much. Obviously not by telling them to shut up or anything that rude, but by minimally responding. You can agree that something was fucked up, or that you hope things get better, or that you wish you could help but you wouldn't know what to do in that situation.

I don't see this as an issue of power dynamics unless that person is being manipulative. Overthinking usually leads to this, most of the time people are fine by responding with their actual thoughts, or remaining silent and nodding and speaking once that person is done with a simple "wow," or "yeah I agree/disagree".

No. 83566

The most important thing you can remember when trying to talk to someone or get them to like you, is that people are inherently selfish.
They will like whatever you say to them as long as it's asking about themselves (maybe unless it's personal).

No. 83668

The key to socialization is allowing yourself to let go and stop overanalyzing.

A "friend" of mine is really socially retarded to the point that they've shoved pictures of themselves that they photoshopped into my face and expected me to compliment them. I feel awkward as fuck.
In general they've exhibited some incredibly rude traits while pretending to be timid and accepting and it's giving me eye twitches.

They are also a know it all even though they have NO life experience. They try to school me on things and give me advice I have no need for and already know, but get incredibly defensive when I offer any commentary to them, joking or not. Also they're the sort of person that gets mad that you're not overly attentive to what they want to talk about even though they'll constantly avoid your own topics and evade simple conversation. I've never been friends with anyone this big of an adult baby.

Basically do not do these things.

No. 83681

>>83668
>they've shoved pictures of themselves that they photoshopped into my face and expected me to compliment them
What the fuck

No. 83682

>>83681
Now I know what it must have felt like to be friends with someone like Felice Fawn or theprosperpina. I didn't sat anything and changed the subject but I'm a little offended they thought that I wouldn't have a sharp eye for editing given what they know about me. I digress but this was definitely an experience that felt like the 4th wall to lolcow was broken.

No. 83737

>>83203
Sorry but this post is too funny

No. 83738

>>83681
no but seriously, what do you mean?
they shooped themselves to look like you? did you mean showed? or that they shoved photoshopped pictures of themselves on you?

No. 83751

File: 1459204805241.jpg (63.03 KB, 259x403, face (82).jpg)

>be friendly
Be yourself. If people don't like it, don't waste time trying to change their opinion. Plenty of fish in the sea.

>small chat

Eh, some people just don't have any shared interest. Also, if you've ever seen Pulp Fiction…the part where Uma tells Travolta it's cool when two people can sit down together without feeling the need to waste breath on conversation.

You might look into Quiet, which isn't a bunch of lefty bullshit like I thought it would be. But it's about introversion, and what you think are spergy personality flaws might simply be introversion.

I feel obligated to tell you I'm a dude, so maybe this shit doesn't apply, but there's your free advice, now pay me.

No. 83791

>>83738
OH I get it lol whoops. They have shoved their phone into my face to show me photoshopped selfies of themselves and expected me to compliment them even though the photo was very clearly photoshopped.

No. 84944

>tfw made a new friend and afraid that you'll scare them off

My texting game sucks and I feel like I'm always either too insistent or too flaky about it.

No. 85591

>all these 'Just b urself :^)' posts
What if you've had to fake who you are for so long that you don't even know who you are anymore? What then?

No. 85597

>>85591
Then you shouldn't have been retarded in the first place.

No. 85605

>>85591
What are you like when no ones looking? I'd say that's a good measure of your true self.

No. 85614

File: 1460218157144.jpg (100.07 KB, 750x1000, raf,750x1000,075,t,e0e1dd 0644…)

Just b yourself :^)

No. 85618

>>85614
Never take 4chan advice seriously, the fact we are meming about this might brainwash socially inadept people that this meme should be taken seriously. Of course you should be yourself, at all times, without the ":^)"

;^)

No. 85658

File: 1460227586863.jpg (244.12 KB, 900x707, depression_by_destinyblue-d8u7…)

>>85618
You just got so meta I didn't even understand what you were saying. I will just be myself. :^)

No. 85661

>>85618
The problem with online social advice is that the real world doesn't exist in a vacuum. If you follow all advice literally without considering your own social context, you're going to have a bad time. And at a certain point of social ineptitude, you're not even going to know how to weigh the advice you're given against what's appropriate for your particular situation.

No. 85679

Does anyone else have trouble talking during meals? Like its so random but my family literally never ate dinner together when I was growing up, then I was a loner all throughout school so never learned that mealtimes are when normal people recap their day and talk about things. Now with friends, I either eat in silence and listen to them or I chat and never even get around to touching my food…



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