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/2X/ - (XX)

gender critical and female politics
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No. 30

One time I was having dinner with my ex and two macho guys approached us to hit on my ex because she's femme. I had to tell these guys to back off because we were on a date but then they just made some nasty comments about how hot we were together.
Any one experience similar things? Its basically a given since men take offense to gay women.

No. 31

I feel like that only happens when one or both women are femme/attractive to the male.

my bf is butch and I'm andro in the not hot way, and we just get ignored? it's like people act like we don't exist in the same space as them. I think we got more attention back when I had long hair and was more feminine presenting.

No. 35

I meant gf*

No. 82

What do you do when you're straight and you accidentally get hit on by a lesbian at the club? kek

No. 119

lmao do you all use the Her app? I'm nervous to download that shit on my phone because I'm kinda in the closet but I need a fucking relationship I'm crying

No. 125

I have used it. Beware of troons and women already in relationships. Make sure to add a clear description of what you are looking for.

No. 126

Also work on your confidence as a lesbian woman so that dates won't be awkward.

No. 135

I've used it but it's too slow for me. I've had more luck with okcupid but I found out I was deactivated for turning down some troons and putting it in my bio I'm not interested in men.

No. 136

Thanks, also I knew to watch out for troons, but didn't think about women in relationships.

No. 150

I chatted with a woman who sneakily added "I'm in a relationship with a man" to her profile AFTER we matched. Thank god I decided to randomly look at her profile again so I could nip that in the bud.

No. 151

women in relationships has been the bane of my existence when it comes to dating apps. Even if I put it clearly in my bio I am monogamous and don’t want to be in a relationship with a couple it gets ignored. Feels like something we will always have to deal with.

No. 152

You politely reject her and she respects your decision because she's not Scrote McCumbrain who can't take no for an answer.

No. 225

tfw the only person I matched with was someone I went to school with who isn't out yet
has anyone tried tinder for a gf? my last gf I found through dnd lel

No. 237

i met my gf through tinder, we've been together over a year now and it's been great. main problem i saw with tinder is that you have to wade through a lot of couples and trannies, but i had that problem on all the other lesbian dating apps anyways.

No. 249

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I fucking hate queer theory and I don't even know what that means bc I was never dumb enough to take gender studies in college. it was women's studies for half a year then everything changed!

No. 250

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Seriously it's the worst kind of cancer

No. 253

My friend has had a decent 3 year relationship with a girl she met on tindr.

No. 278

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anyone here a lesbian in a 3rd world homophobic shithole where women barely have rights and have never had a proper relationship with another woman because of it?

yeah i wanna die. anyway tfw no gf

No. 305

Good luck, anon. I hope you move to a better place. And surely there’s another closeted lesbian around you somewhere.

No. 334

i'm almost 30 and i have never had any proper relationship or sex with women. i get matches on tinder and women have found me attractive so i guess if i wanted to i could find someone to sleep with but i'm too shy and i never send any messages to my matches, i'm gonna be a 40 year old virgin if i keep going on like this smh

No. 374

Bi women in hetero relationships who feel the need to tell everyone how "gay" they are, believe they face more challenges than bi women in homo relationships, and think their hetero relationship is inherently different from a straight woman's or is actually "queer" are the worst. I hate going into some female same-sex attracted group where most of the discussion revolves around bi women talking about their husbands/boyfriends since there are way more bi women than lesbians and over 80% of bi women end up in LTRs with men. I know a lot of bi women don't want to experience homophobia by being with women but some just see women as the "lesser option" so they might want to have sex with women but then they want a "normal" married relationship with a straight man (ironically, they don't like bi men). Others are just straight women who call themselves bi to seem more interesting to men and because they think women are hot but they aren't actually sexually attracted to women.

No. 375

lmao bi women scream about experiencing “biphopbia” all the time and how gays work with straights to “oppress” them but bi women never stop saying the vilest biphobic shit about bi men while worshipping straight men

No. 585

high femme here,into cutesy shit like lolita (both sweet and gothic but mainly sweet i guess) and other comfy (read:nostalgic) pastel stuff. But the issue is i'm quite petite. And i feel like i'll never find a gf because of that shit but i don't wanna give up what brings me joy

No. 586

may i add,am not into ageplay or any of the disgusting weird shit people link to the "cute" aesthetic.

No. 593

I don't know how to go about approaching a woman for a relationship, because I have a certain kind of personality. You won't find me on Tinder or in a gay bar. I want a long term, loving monogamous relationship, similar to the husband/wife picket fence life, minus the "pants" and adopting instead.

I'm a RadFem and also politically conservative leaning. Given I live in California, most "lesbians" are troons or bisexual women claiming to be "so gay." I don't take issue with bisexuality, but most women who claim to be bi are either "curious" pick-mes open to a threesome, or are more into men and won't take your relationship as seriously.

Fuckgirls are also a thing. I've noticed many lesbians I match with on dating websites I've used try to imitate mainstream male rappers in appearance and demeanor. Do you all notice the girls with tattoos and red lipstick tend to talk like a mumble rap song? I'm not referring to ebonics. It's a weird thing I can't describe, but these women are also very sexist two I found on Instagram called their femme partners "bitches." So gross.

No. 596

>I'm a RadFem and also politically conservative leaning
Literally how? Radical feminism was a leftist ideology started by Marxist women during the Women's Liberation Movement who had previous training in the Civil Rights Movement.

No. 601

Lmao cali is full of fukgirls
I feel you man. In the same boat here but because I'm bi I've had more luck with men. Its difficult to find anyone who isn't super liberal here, male or female.

No. 604

>politically conservative leaning
You sound like you’re from r/gendercritical

No. 717

kinda in the same boat, except Im more radfemish than liberals care for. I just keep quiet 99% of the time and have a gf who is into queer stuff. it's kinda annoying sometimes, but I find it's usually just interesting to have a window into the queer libfem LGBT scene in Cali (I'd never go to those events otherwise).

No. 718

They have obviously never actually read any radical feminist theory or history.

No. 729

I love my girlfriend so much lol. Our friend introduced us to her TIM boyfriend on new years, and when we got home my gf turns to me and goes: "Anon, that thing is never stepping foot into our home." I hope all you anons find wonderful GC gfs!

No. 730

The girl I'm talking to and that seems a great match for me in everything also turned out to dislike troons, lmao. I hope she won't fuck me over like the last one did.

No. 801

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Damn I wish I had this. My gf and I were never into talking about politics until I came out as GC in the summer. Shes been escalating fights and threatening to leave me if I dont rejoin her TRA logic. It's got me filled up with enough anxiety that I might leave later on. She cant seem to grasp how it can hurt her and other women/ lesbians down the road.

No. 824

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I'm really sorry, anon. I would've asked how is your relationship aside from this issue, but if she's even threatening to leave you if you don't kiss TRA boots she doesn't seem nice.
Anyway, many lesbians are peak transing by the day. Being on dating apps I realized how many girls I talked to were also skeeved out by troons, once the topic came out and they felt comfortable with telling me.
So I'm sure you will find a non-TRA gf! They're not rare anymore.

No. 833

I'm not sure if I should come out to my family. I just have this feeling that it's pretty obvious that I'm not straight, and everyone is fine with it as long as I never put it into words, you know? like saying it out loud makes it worse somehow. my dad is kind of homophobic but I've only seen him react to gay males, I don't know his stance on gay women. my mom would be cool with it but she doesn't like keeping secrets from my dad, so if I tell her I'd have to tell him as well.

at the moment I'm fine with not saying anything, my sisters and some aunties are single, childless, career types, and my family accepts that, so I can easily look like that as well.

note that I am not close with any of them, except my mom, I see my immediate family during holidays only and extended family on the rare occasion some cousin gets married or has a special party.

I don't know, I guess it doesn't matter, since there's no pressure for me to pretend to be straight. just the absence of telling them I'm gay. though, i guess I'd feel guilty to tell them I'm single/lie if I had a girlfriend.

No. 910

my family is homophobic and i'll wait to come out until i'm in a serious relationship
i feel like it's just not worth it when youre single, because what does it change? it's just uncomfortable and in theory gives anyone ammo for "but you just havent found the right man yet!!!!"
don't stress it if theres no need for you to say it right now

No. 998

Update: she fucked me over, lmao.

No. 1014

lame. what happened?

No. 1026

>mfw browsing radfem tumblrs for That Fix
>see her reblog a post that contains a post your totes kweer gf wrote
>gf doesn't even know u know her Tumblr handle, much less you actively browse radfem blogs

this relationship is built on lies and I deserve it when it crumbles.

No. 1029

wait, kek, are you saying your gf is being called out for being an inclusive kweer dipshit on radfem tumblr? honestly that's hilarious. why are you dating a dumbass? honestly i'd dip before she finds out you're a "terf". she'll probably try to ruin your life. these ppl are nuts.

No. 1036

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Kinda don’t know where to ask this so this place is my best bet ig. I can’t tell if I’m actually just straight because I’m scared of not being “safe and stable” without a man in my life or if I’m becoming more attracted to other women because of the many pros that come with lesbianism? Ever since I started reading more radfem blogs and about how terrible and disgusting men are, and encountering that first hand with all of my exes sadly, I felt a noticeable shift in my preferences. But only in how I notice women in public and being attracted to them or actually getting nervous around pretty girls. I do, however, have a weird history of inner desires. I always preferred lesbian porn and even when having sex with my exes I would imagine that in order to feel aroused. And how my taste in men would always have to be feminine and “harmless” in order to feel safe with continuing the relationship. I just don’t know if this is some awakening that is happening now that I’m getting lonely or if its because I’m finally taking time for myself and noticing how I feel instead of pushing it aside to please others.

No. 1039

You sound like you're bi or a frustrated straight woman, not a lesbian. I know a lot of my straight female friends think there are "many pros that come with lesbianism" when it isn't easier at all. Lots of straight women wished the men they liked were more feminine because it makes them less threatening or equitable since masculinity is all about dominance. These straight women watch lesbian porn too because it focuses on things that turn them on like clitoral stimulation while straight porn is all about PIV sex. Ironically, most lesbians I know hate lesbian porn with a passion but love watching gay male porn (I don't watch porn at all).

No. 1041

>Lots of straight women wished the men they liked were more feminine because it makes them less threatening or equitable since masculinity is all about dominance

Why a lot of straight girls fawn over pretty boys, soft boys, etc. basically

No. 1046

I made a post in the vent thread, basically she was just using me as a no strings attached rebound while knowing very well what I wanted, and upon being called out she kept on contradicting herself ("Yes I was flirting because I like you" then 10 minutes later "I wasn't flirting, I was just being nice, I'm sorry that you took it that way") and denying everything.

Lesbian dating is truly life on nightmare mode. Dating tip for the future: ask her when did she have her last breakup. If it's been less than a year, run away and don't look back.

No. 1056

I don't how to explain it, but I'm attracted to both stereotypically masculine men and androgynous cute men, I don't think I have prefrence for one or the other its just I like them both

No. 1061

If you’re attracted to men then you’re not a lesbian. You could have compulsory heterosexuality but that’s not a lesbian exclusive experience since all women are pressured to be with men.

No. 1067

Im not this anon >>1036, im just a straight woman passing by explaining why some straight womeen like feminine men

No. 1075

do bi and straight women imagine lesbian porn while having sex with a man though? maybe a more attractive man, but if you have to imagine women just to get aroused sounds kinda gay to me.

No. 1089

Why are you in lesbian general then

No. 1098

I'm straight but I imagine having sex with women when I have sex with my boyfriend. But I can't get off to anything else.

No. 1126

Anon…that's bi as fuck, if not gay.

No. 1129

Maybe you're bi or are having a really shitty relationship with your boyfriend. I'm a lesbian and I hated kissing my ex-bf. I would often secretly cry afterwards. I broke up with him because he wanted to have sex and I felt suicidal imagining myself having sex with a man.

No. 1133

Do you watch a lot of porn? That can give you brain rot and heavily alter your sexual tastes. I know some men who watch so much of it that nothing can turn them on unless they're in a roleplay and there's a lot of violence involved.

No. 1171

nta, and probably not in lesbian general, but I find straight women articulating their attraction to men helpful when trying to figure out orientation. most of what we hear and know about heterosexual attraction is from brain rotted scrotes.

No. 1201

I don't think of porn when I'm having sex period lol
I'm a bi girl but I have different attractions when it comes to men and women. Maybe you just want clitorial stimulation or the sex is unfulfilling which in that case, call your man out on it.

Also I don't really consider girls bi or lesbian if they just want to have sex with girls. I've known plenty of woman going down on girls cuz some sleazeball wanted to get off to it. If you're really bi or lesbian I believe you can have genuine feelings and attraction to the same sex.

No. 1232

do all lesbians feel a viceral reaction when it comes to sex with males?

No. 1234

>Also I don't really consider girls bi or lesbian if they just want to have sex with girls. I've known plenty of woman going down on girls cuz some sleazeball wanted to get off to it.
True, I mean look at how men will literally fuck anything and there's all the straight men being "prison gay" thing. Sexual orientation is an immutable, life-long sexual attraction to one or both sexes. You don't have to be attracted to a particular sex to experience a pleasurable sensation when you do the deed. Although if you aren't attracted to that sex then it can be mentally exhausting or if you're forcing yourself into it then it can be traumatizing.

No. 1299

some lesbians feel disgust or repulsion to seeing a naked male or having sex with males. some lesbians feel no internal reaction at all- no active attraction towards men, yet they lack repulsion towards men too, so they assume they're like every other straight/bi woman who isn't attracted to her male partner.

No. 1303

I don't mind sex with him, usually it's great and he lasts a long time and always works on getting me off. But he doesn't turn me on despite being very conventionally attractive and very kind.

I don't watch porn and never have. It's disgusting.

I would love to have sex with women, does that make me bi? I never fantasize about women romantically like relationship wise.

No. 1332

I think what makes a woman (or man) bi is being sexually attracted to individuals of the same sex, not just wanting to have sex with them. That sounds like semantics, but I just mean that having sex with that woman is the turn on, not just sex in general because it feels good/because you feel hot being with a woman. You want to touch her sexually and make her orgasm and that's the appeal.

Although I imagine it's different for pillow princesses? I'm speaking as mainly a service top and my attraction to both sexes has almost nothing to do with my own body. If anyone has input on how that attraction feels please lmk.

Also I know some people don't consider someone truly bi if they don't feel romantic attraction to the both sexes. So you will never be bi to them if that's the case. On the fence myself since I do want to date both, so idk.

And an apology from me for not being a lesbian and posting itt.

No. 1335

This is why the Kinsey scale can be pretty useful. Everything that isn't 0 or 6 can technically be considered bi, with 3 being "le true bisexual 50/50 man/woman", which isn't actually that common. Bicurious is probably the best term for someone like that anon there. I would also personally define bisexuality as someone who is capable of feeling both romantic and sexual feelings for both sexes, though it of course doesn't have to be 50/50. But people are free to identify as they like, really.

And now speaking of nothing, any other lesbian anons stuck in the middle of nowhere really worried they will end up alone or have to resort to LDRs? I live in an pretty small town in northern Europe, which does have a chapter of the national LGBT organisation, but the VAST majority of events they host are trans based. I have no issues with dating apps, but you just see the same people over and over again. I also don't mind LDRs but I'm just getting too old for that shit… I'm probably moving to an even smaller town soon and my chances of meeting someone will be even slimmer then. It just feels hopeless.

No. 1337

I think it's worth going to all LGBT gatherings, despite there being trans people. You don't have to date them if it's not your type, and most people are understanding of that in the offline world.

It's so hard to meet other lesbians if you avoid LGBT events unfortunately.

No. 1342

Well the only regular event they have is a trans support group, then about every 6 month they host a party night, which I do go to. And if I do move I won't even have that, which really sucks.

No. 1343

Maybe you just aren’t in love with your boyfriend? Bisexual women are capable of falling in love with other women. A lot of straight women can “experiment” with other women but they’re never going to form a romantic attachment.

No. 1355

That's why I usually label myself as straight.
I will leave you guys alone now! Sexuality is always an interesting topic.

No. 1357

I noticed how common it is in lesbian communities to just hit on many girls without having any actual intention and flirt just as a way to be friendly. I don't do it, actually it weirds me out a lot. And as a result, I've been led on sometimes and now when a girl flirts with me I just ignore her because I'm sure that she's just joking. Anyone can relate? Am I the one meeting weird lesbians or is it like this everywhere?

No. 1359

I think most of us feel nothing about males when we are young girls but as society keeps pushing us to be with men, we force ourselves to date men, men harass us thinking they can change our sexuality, or if we experience corrective rape then we develop disgust for males. Straight women can be terrible to lesbians but they aren't violent and sexual threats like males who feel offended that you aren't attracted to them. Of course for some lesbians they never have these experiences with men or avoided them entirely so they continue to feel nothing.

No. 1363

Anyone else have this complex, I absolutely hate the thought of having sex with any type of man or having romantic relationship with men and im 100% sure Im not straight but…. I like cuddling with men more than I do with women, Its wierd I know it sends the wrong message

No. 1364

I don't see anything wrong with non-sexual cuddles and you can definitely still be a lesbian/not straight and enjoy wholesome human touch. Some guys give really nice big bear hugs.

No. 1366

Its still something you can't easily bring up your male friends without sending wrong the message

No. 1369

Cuddling is fine, like it's pretty common for gay men and straight women to cuddle and paint each other's nails and shit.

No. 1374

>like it's pretty common for gay men and straight women to cuddle and paint each other's nails and shit.
I want a reverse version of this relationship, a hetorsexual male best friend to hangout with and who I can cuddle with but there's nothing sexual

No. 1379

It's hard because straight men are always shitty. Even if gay men have male socialisation at least they don't have sexual attraction to a women so that's why straight women think they aren't threatening.

No. 1381

Literally only met one dyke tyke in my life (and he was probably bi) while fag hags are everywhere.

No. 1399

I thought they were called lesbros

No. 1402

Both are used.

No. 1405

Is there a tactful way to bring up my gf's health and suggest she try to be healthier? She's a smoker, hits the fast food pretty hard, and doesn't exercise. I'm a former ana-chan and I'm pretty obsessed with my health after all the damage I did to myself… I want my girlfriend to take care of herself too. The way she coughs all the time and breathes so heavy freaks me out. I'm just worried it'll come off like I want her to lose weight, and honestly it's not that at all because I love her.

No. 1406

I'm one of those, I never felt anything for guys really. I was never sure what to say when other women in my family gushed bout male celebrities. When they tried to say some guy was cute and apparently hitting on me too. All my straight relationships had no feelings so I broke them off. Never had sex with a guy, had more relationships with women. Hard considering I'm full lesbian rather than bi at this point. At least in my lesbian relationships I really loved them plus didn't mind the idea of possible sex.

No. 1481

Would it be offensive to a butch if I asked if she's really a girl or not? I'm doing online dating and I can't tell if this person is a man pretending to be a lesbian(happens all the time) or a very androgynous butch.

No. 1621

Anyway, she actually told me she wants to quit smoking and start going for hikes together again without me mentioning anything, so it worked out!

No. 1680

do you find petite women into cute stuff attractive or is that too childish? i'm fucking tired of being 5'3 and have small tits. I got soft thighs though.
Maybe i've been brainwashed by what men like but i keep worrying no woman will find me attractive besides my past girlfriends

No. 1684

I'm a 5'8" femme and I love short girly girls so much, probably my ideal type looks wise. I don't care about breast size at all, I honestly don't think most women do. Maybe a certain type of butch who's into extremely "feminine" women, but in general I don't think women care as much about tit size as straight guys do.

No. 1685

You're giving me such hope anon.
I can only hope both of us find love.
My ideal would be growing old with my gf and fight by her side (and marry her to be able to have the swordfighting lesbian wedding of my dreams)

No. 1703

I feel you, I live in bumfuck nowhere and its a fucking struggle specially in the small ass town I live in. Everyone here is a jesus freak and the gay people are the joke of the town no one takes them seriously and they are secluded by everyone. My parents and siblings know Im gay but they tell me not to let anyone else know because it will "bring disgrace and ridicule to the family and you will end up like the other gays" so in the closet I go. I am 100% sure I'll die alone despite what the Sonic Totem at /ot/ tells me so I know how you feel fam.

No. 1735

Personally no, I think they're childish.

No. 2072

My straight female friends at uni don't know I'm a lesbian and when we go out clubbing they do drunken ironic sexy dancing/grinding against each other, including against me. It's the worst most awkward thing in the world and makes me feel so uncomfortable and like a predator! I don't know what to say to put them off that won't make them think they were tricked in retrospect and won't make me seem like an asexual autist freak. Last time it was my male friend's girlfriend who I had just met that night. Do you guys have to cope with this and how do you play it off?

No. 2083

Are you >>585?

How small of a town? Like everyone knows everyone or in less than 1 day all three towns around each other know everyone's business? Also don't give up hope, there's probably another closeted lesbian living there. That sounds sucky that though with coming out and being secluded, do they treat them like air or like they've caught the plague?

No. 2088

No but shit that could as well be me given i do wear the fashion on my free time out of uni

No. 2095

I dunno, I thought my friends did it because they found it hot in some way and I didn't mind so I always just went along with it and never thought much of it but maybe I'm being creepy???
I also stopped going to clubs altogether because I honestly can't stand another strange male grinding up on me out of nowhere

No. 2160

girls are mean to me does this mean they wanna kiss me?

doesn't make sense since men are absolute cunts to me too

tfw no gf

No. 2170

Two days late but I guess I would like to make you feel better too by answering. I love short/petite girls. I also like cute stuff but I don't wear it cause it's not a style I'm comfortable with, I would totally date a lolita/pastel girl since I find it attractive when people are confident with what they like.
I'm quite femme btw

Good luck anon, you'll find love for sure

No. 2191

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I'm >>278
and update:
I tried online dating and found a date! I am super paranoid that she is going to be a man catfishing or some trap to out me to my family and friends but I'm going to give it a shot. Wish me luck, anons.

No. 2209

You shouldn't give up what brightens up your life anon, lolita fashion is beautiful imo. Did you have any past gfs that didnt like your life style? Anyway dont stress it I'm sure you'll find a kindred spirit or just someone who really appreciates the fashion as well as you.

No. 2224

Best of luck anon! and be careful take some maze spray just in case keep us updated!

No. 2252

It really feels like I'll never find love.
I'm a nearly 23 kissless virgin. I never kissed boys cause they disgust me, and I never kissed girls cause there was none to kiss.
I'm from an European country, people here are religious but there's also a lot that are pro-gay, so it's not super bad. And yet, I can't find someone to date me.
I tried dating apps, nothing ever came of it.. I went to 5 dates in 4 years and honestly I hate how due to the dating pool being so small, I even had to meet up with some of them. The last girl I saw was so fundamentally different from me.. a bully that doesn't like "nerds" and "weebs" and loves to drink and party.. we had absolutely nothing in common, but I met up with her cause there was no one else interested in me.
It's depressing, I would love to move to a different, bigger city or to move out of the country but I'm still in UNI and there's no option like that for me.
I wish I could not feel shame about being kissless, but I do. I'm a grown woman and no one ever thought I'm cute enough to even hold my hand, I was never wanted.. not even by boys.
I know my personality isn't the best, but.. even the worst people seem to be getting dates, but not me.
Oh well, I'm trying to get over it anyway. Sorry if this is more of a rant thread post, but I thought I may find some consolation in fellow lesbians..

No. 2258

I'd hold your hand and smooch you anon

No. 2300

Which country is it, anon? Sounds like mine

No. 2302

Italy. We have the Vatican, sure. Old people hate gays.. right. But the younger generation doesn't seem to mind.

No. 2312

Ayrt and I'm from Italy as well, ayy

No. 2322

Don't feel bad anon, if it helps you to know, I'm 30 and I'm still a kissless lesbian virgin myself but it's mostly due to the place I live in super closed minded and you get harassed and possibly raped (men being like "I'll fuck the gay out of you") if you come out as gay so yehhh you're not alone in your suffering anon, hopefully you do find someone but yeah never settle for less!

No. 2442

meh, I live in a huge city with a big gay history (San Francisco) and it's not any better; I'm a literal sperg who spent too much time growing up on imageboards. Everyone is super queer and drunk the trans koolaid, unless they're super normie, but those types are always normie4normie. Anyone with the slightest non-normie interest is a raging pro-trans "queer".

No. 2456

exactly the point I was trying to make.. it's very hard to find girls that aren't "normies" but to be honest here in Italy not EVERYONE is pro-trans. the other italian anon may know it too but a lot of lesbians carry the the same ideals as we do here on 2x, they just dont speak about it up front and you have to dig a bit. I'm honestly glad we aren't as far gone as the US.
But yeah I wish I could meet a sperg like you irl, I may sound like a pick-me "not like the other girls" type but I honestly have nothing in common with some of the girls I met. I don't think I'm better or anything, I'm just not interested in the party scene and would rather prefer someone who is into the same stuff as me.

No. 2459

Someone I dated briefly just "came out" as a demisexual cislesbian, so basically a normal lesbian but that needs special kweer titles nowadays. Phew glad I dodged that one.

No. 2467

Yikes. I remember when I was 16 I thought I was asexual cause Tumblr told me so. Then I switched to demisexual.. then I realized I'm just a normal human being.
I really wish for all the young girls in that phase to see the truth for what it is like I eventually did.

No. 2468

Yeah kids don't need all those confusing, dumb extra labels that describes being a normal human.
This lady is 25 though so it's kinda sad.

No. 2483

Italy anon here and I know what you mean. Here I can only find boring as fuck lesbians, or bisexuals just willing to experiment. The only women I actually click with either live in another continent or turn out to be "emotionally unavailable".

No. 2489

anon we should just date each other

No. 2490

I know this is an old post but are you me? I'm 28 but in a few months I'll be 29. I live in a small country where most of the youth is anti gay. It's just terrible. The dating apps are a disaster, it's either couples, woman pretending to be lesbian only to disclose later that she's with her bf/husband, or really older women (40+) that have families, children etc, or extremely young girls (18-19yo) who for some reason want to hook up with me. Also single moms that suddenly want nothing to do with men. And the few women that are around my age and lesbian, well, we just don't click.
I know that I have no other way but to move to a bigger city to start properly dating and most likely abroad too, but that's easier said than done. I think I'll just say fuck it and have casual sex with a woman in my proximity even if it leads to nothing.
I just wanted to commiserate but I hope you find someone. I know a few lesbian couples that have met in their late 30s even 40s and have been happily together ever since so that fills me with joy and gives me hope that I'll experience something as well.

No. 2524

Any tips on how not to feel like I'm a gross predator and objectifying women?

I'm bi, been with a man for 6 years and we broke up 2 years ago and since then I pretty much lost interest in men, but I feel bad everytime I catch myself looking at cute girls at the gym or anywhere because idk, I feel like I shouldn't?
I'm also another anon who's from a third world country and can't really meet other bi/lesbian women since it's like they barely exist. Then again the balkans isn't the most accepting place of the lgbt.

No. 2529

I actually wouldn't mind exchanging contacts before admin pulls the plug on this board.

No. 2532

you can give me your discord if you want

No. 2533

I weirdly feel the same. I tend to look at cute women when they pass me by, but I also feel like an old creepy dude when I do. That realization and the feeling of shame however is what sets us apart from the males, so that's good.
But overall, unless you're being too weird about it or have actual bad intentions you shouldn't feel like a predator. I think in both of our cases, we're probably still just a bit ashamed of our sexuality.
Are you out anon? If you're not, then maybe that what it is. You probably feel like you're doing something you're not supposed to cause you're still trying to hide who you really are.

No. 2555


No. 2589

i cant find you, but the lolcow discord has a friend finder channel so i'll leave a message there

No. 2595

> Then again the balkans isn't the most accepting place of the lgbt.
Where in the balkans are you? I'm in Croatia.
> I catch myself looking at cute girls at the gym or anywhere because idk, I feel like I shouldn't?
I get that feeling too and I wish I knew how to stop myself from doing that. Also, I'm often going on short trips with my friends and they don't have any qualms about undressing in front of me or sharing a bed. If they ever find out (because I'm still in the closet), they're going to get the wrong idea.

No. 2598

I'm out and pretty open about it, but most people don't care or don't take me serious since I've only been with a man. Idk at this point really

Also Croatia! But up north around Varaždin
Idk, most women never had an issue with it, then again I never had really close friends to begin with

No. 2606

I'm not in the lc discord. Maybe temporarily change your username, post it here and after I add you you can change it back

No. 2607

> Also Croatia! But up north around Varaždin
Noice, I'm in the Kvarner bay.
> Idk, most women never had an issue with it, then again I never had really close friends to begin with
I had a mixed experience. Since I'm in the closet a few women openly told me how they felt about gays and lesbians, and I was shocked when they had nothing but hatred for them. They were from conservative families and "religious". I'm obviously not friends with them, but due to uni and later work, you bump into them and after chatting for a while the LGBT topic came up a few times and there you go.
However, I also know a good number of women that don't care or that are supportive so there's that. I don't think my friends would mind. I do feel predatory for being around them and not telling them and since I'll probably die alone, I'm not sure if it's worth coming out of the closet anyway.
If there's one thing that's good about being a lesbian or bi in your case, it's that we're not usually taken seriously enough for others to go out of their way to bring harm. A lot of men that hate gays are okay with lesbians for that very reason.

No. 2611


No. 2637

honest question: do lesbians truly use the gold star term? It sounds extremely objectifying to me (liks you are mares or something) and why the fuck would you value anyone more or less depending if they had a misfortune of having a dick stuck into them? What about rape victims?
Please explain to me if it's not that deep or I'm misunderstanding. I just don't get why lesbians would use such a phallocentric category to describe themself. It's as creepy as the concept of virginity.

No. 2638

It went well! She is very normie and nice and she had on this really cute pantsuit and we went out to a lounge, had a few drinks, then went for noodles and even held hands. We have been talking non-stop ever since. We're both in the closet but being in the closet might not be so bad with her there with me.

No. 2642

highly seconding this

No. 2645

I've seen lesbians online hardcorely sticking to that term, but not irl. Which leads me to think most of those were very likely larping scrotes.

However I want to know what do other lesbians think about it too.

No. 2655

I think it's okay to have a preference. Obviously not when it comes to rape victims but I personally, would like someone that hasn't been with a man voluntarily.
That doesn't mean I don't consider women that used to date men as lesbians if they feel that way. And it's not even a 100% no-no, it's just a preference. I don't use the term gold star.

No. 2665

Fear that non-gold stars aren't lesbians at all but straight women looking for a fun "experiment" or bi women who just want to have lesbian fuckbuddies so she won't be committed to you because she only thinks straight relationships are "real relationships". My friend was in a relationship with a bi woman for a few months and she broke up with her after she found out she was already in a committed relationship with a man the entire time. He was fine with her going out to have sex with other women (not other men though) because he didn't consider it to be "cheating" and she thought he was so "feminist", "open-minded" and "understanding".

No. 2666

Lesbians already live in a phallocentric world and always get asked how they can know they're a lesbian if they haven't slept with a man or that they will eventually find a man who can "turn" them. Compulsory heterosexuality affects every woman so I don't doubt lesbians who have slept with men to be homosexual.

I don't use the term "gold star" nor do I care about someone's sexual history but it's primarily used in the gay community to prove "how gay they are", especially with lesbians, because a lot of women who call themselves "lesbian" aren't lesbian at all. Much of the vitriol is targeted at bi women because they are believed to prioritize heterosexual relationships. Many lesbians have personally experienced bi women playing around with their emotions and only using them for fun because they would never get into a serious relationship with another woman.

I'm open to dating a bi woman and I quite like some of them but I do get annoyed with bi women who call themselves "lesbian" or claim to understand the lesbian experience even though their sexual attraction to men makes it impossible for any lesbian to relate.

No. 2667

I always thought Megan Fox was a weird example of a bi woman who has only ever been in relationships with men and she said she would be happy with being a woman but only if that woman had never had sex with a man before because then it "tainted" her…even though she is married to a man and has 4 kids with him. I really don't understand what is going through her head.

No. 2669

I have a complicated relationship with the gold star term because I used to hate it because it put value on lesbians on whether they had touched a penis or not but I've noticed it's also used as a safeguard against fauxbians and it makes troons super mad because of the penis-exclusion. Just search up gold star lesbian on Google and see how it's a bunch of libfem sites shitting on it with Riley saying: "I've seen them rejecting the notion that a trans woman could possibly be 'gold star', that lesbians who have been with trans women can't be 'gold star', that any sex with a penis-owning person disqualifies you."

No. 2684

holy fuck, r/actuallesbians goes into a spergout any time "gold star" is brought up

No. 2689

I always thought the term started off as a joke and it only became well known because of The L Word.

No. 2883

> she said she would be happy with being a woman but only if that woman had never had sex with a man before because then it "tainted" her…even though she is married to a man and has 4 kids with him. I really don't understand what is going through her head.
oh wow, she's nuts

No. 2884

Oh, definitely.
>With regard to relationships and her sexuality, Fox said that she has a general distrust and dislike of men, and that the perception of her as a "wild and crazy sexpot" is false because she is asocial and has only been sexually intimate with her "childhood sweetheart" and Brian Austin Green; she stated that she would rather stay at home instead of going out, and emphasized that she cannot have sex with someone she does not love. She is bisexual, and said she believes that "all humans are born with the ability to be attracted to both sexes". "I have no question in my mind about being bisexual," Fox stated. "But I'm also a hypocrite: I would never date a girl who was bisexual, because that means they also sleep with men, and men are so dirty that I'd never want to sleep with a girl who had slept with a man."

No. 2888

What would be some relationship red flags for lesbians? The /g/ thread doesn't apply much in our case, because for example having many female friends for a woman is normal.

No. 2893

She has an ex and she just started dating again lmao

No. 2909

this specially if her ex was a moid

Also someone who is a full on "yandere" or someone who wants you to show her your phone 24/7 (or tries to snoop in to your stuff) avoid at all costs!

No. 2910

If it's a moid it isn't a real lesbian, stop with this insecure shit

An actual lesbian is super likely to get back with a recent ex or a long term ex. Happens all the time during ghostings too.

No. 3034

Did anyone seriously consider that they were asexual or were you otherwise volcel? I spent years of my life thinking I was going to become a nun because I couldn't bear the thought of marrying and living with a man (and as a nun I could live with my best gal pals forever!) I thought romantic love just wasn't possible for me, and sex was confusing and made me feel guilty anyway. I wish younger lesbians wouldn't have to go through that, but now I guess they're just pressured to troon out or date troons.

No. 3036

I've noticed it's pretty common for lesbians to think they're asexual.

No. 3045

Yep! Totally thought I'm asexual for 2 years of my teen life. I even came out to my friend as an asexual bi-romantic or something like that.
But no, I'm just a lesbian with a low sex drive.

No. 3046

I thought I was asexual until my early 20s. I had two short term relationships with men and both ended because I couldn't imagine let alone have sex with them. I just figured I was asexual until I met a girl. She was bi and we just fondled and kissed during a party. I never saw her again but that night, I never masturbated as much as I did in my life to that day. It's like it all finally came together. I also had fantasies of becoming a nun even though I wasn't religious. When I saw my childhood friend with her boyfriend, it broke my heart. We used to plan to become nuns together or open a beach bar and spend our days together on the beach. I never thought I had such feelings for her. I don't know why it never occurred to me that I was lesbian.

No. 3075

lol i used to think about becoming a nun too. i used to think that i'm asexual and/or that csa had ruined my sexuality and turned me into lesbian.

No. 3122

AYRT I also had intense feelings for my best friend that I didn't recognize as more than friendship and felt incredibly betrayed when she got (a very ugly /r9k/ type) boyfriend.
I also experienced CSA and wondered if that's why I'm a lesbian, but actually I think CSA made it harder for me to realize I liked women because I associated sex with negativity and pain and didn't connect those concepts to other girls. I also really struggled with worrying that I was in some way hurting women by being sexually attracted to them because being lusted after by grown men was very scary. Things are better now though and I have a really amazing girlfriend who helps me through my PTSD and always supports me.

No. 3131

same, csa made it really hard for me to accept/realize that i'm a lesbian. it was such a good scapegoat for me as a teenager, to think to myself that the only reason i fantasize about other girls is because men have hurt me, and some day when i learn to like men i stop having these feelings for women. i still worry today that i am hurting other women by being attracted to them.

No. 3136

File: 1579982449769.jpeg (102.76 KB, 640x480, ENSP-ScXUAEPyVc.jpeg)

Sorry if it's a stupid question, but I have no one to talk about this.
How do I know if I'm a lesbian or bisexual?
Sex with guys was never exciting but I never did it with girls…

No. 3138

What is your preferred material to shlick to?
Erotica, fanart of women,let them be orc women or human woman, and
(good) fanfics for me because i'm forever an autistic nerd.

I realized after dating one single guy and kissing him tbh. It felt wrong. I could shlick to fanfics with anime men in it but it also felt weird when i passed 15yo and had my first girlfriend. And as it went,i just couldn't imagine being in a loving relationship with a man without getting goosebumps,and thinking about IRL sex with one grossed me out too, even trying to fantasize about it made me feel dirty.

No. 3146

File: 1579993552737.jpg (676.93 KB, 1920x1240, 1920px-Philippe_Van_Bree-Works…)

Where can you find beautiful erotic photos of women that aren't obviously by and for men or from the porn industry?

No. 3164

this might sound retarded, but I just don't really like the way women look like with makeup on? I've come to realize that it really affected me in terms of realizing and accepting my sexuality. Makeup and over the top performances of femininity.

I don't mean that I'm solely into butches. I'm into women of all "gender presentations", but not high femme, I guess. After reflecting, I feel like there was a gap in my attraction to women my age, which coincides with the time most women start learning how to apply make up and be attractive for men. It kind of fucked me up because while I wasn't attracted to men, I wasn't attracted to what (straight male) society deemed highly attractive women either. I ended up buying into the "hearts not parts" idea and tried finding "the right man" since I'm autistic and vibe more with men sometimes.

There were practical femme types I remember meeting and being lowkey into, but the internalized lesbophobia was a lot to deal with. I feel guilty because I'm not old and could have found peace much earlier if I wasn't such a coward. I don't know why I was so avoidant of even looking up lgbt stuff back then.

No. 3198

I'm bi so disregard this if you want, but this is how I feel too.

No. 3206

Also bi and also find a lot of artifice unattractive. Lips covered in paint are not inviting to kiss, overly styled hair isn't inviting to touch.

No. 3242

is it weird i find "futanari" hot (nothing too anime though,i'm not a weeb but i enjoy it in some art styles) but i'd rather kms than date or fuck a troon or even touch a real dick?
girls with straps are superior but it's hard to find art with them more than it is to find futa shit i guess?? still,i wonder if i'm weird,huh.

No. 3243

Same, I find makeup in general to be very unattractive.

No. 3245

Lesbians are actually attracted to women so they’re more accepting of how women look in their natural state, straight men are attracted to hyper feminine caricatures of women where they think any woman who doesn’t shave is automatically a man.

No. 3246

I am the same. I hate how make-up and a lot of “female clothes” look on women because it symbolises this submission to males and looks too artificial. It is probably why I think butch lesbians and makeup-free women look more attractive. I love sporty girls with muscles or chubby girls too. The stick-thin appearance a lot of straight women prefer looks infantilizing and straight men say they like curvy women but that only means giant tits and ass and no fat anywhere else.

No. 3247

Lol a lot of men are convinced that women don’t even have body hair which is why body hair removal is a part of gender transition. They also get disturbed by the fact that women have bodily functions like pooping.

No. 3263

Is it possible to get a gf on tinder?
I wanna read a success story before trying it.

No. 3264

Yes, they've been together for 2 years but that bitch is crazy and I hope my friends dumps that psychotic cunt

No. 3294

I get you, anon. I recently saw an acquaintance without makeup on for the first time I was genuinely shocked by how stunning she is (she's a makeup pro). I really hate the current makeup trend of stage/drag makeup on women because it's so unflattering and cakey. I also dislike the conspicuous consumerism that dominates the makeup community and I wouldn't be able to put up with that in a relationship.
I met my gf on Tinder! We matched and I put off meeting her for months because I felt so out of her league, but she really pursued me! When we finally went out everything just clicked and we pretty much have spent 80% of our time together ever since! We definitely u-hauled kek and I can't imagine life without her now. She's literally everything I ever dreamed of when I fantasized about my future and I can't believe I'm so lucky.

No. 3355

I'll miss this thread when /2x/ dies

I feel so alone being a lesbian at times

No. 3356

That's a really cute story, I'm happy for you anon!

Someone asked admin to save this thread once /2X/ gets archived and she said yes, so I think we safe.

No. 3357

Oh I'd not seen that, I hope the thread continues. I know it's pretty pathetic of me to admit on an anonymous gossip site but I do feel very isolated because of my sexuality - even posting on /clg/ gets lonely at times. Hope you have a lovely day.

No. 3385

This is gonna be a bit of a vent, I like being a lesbian, I really do, but I've experienced a lot of traumatic shit because of it. I was badly abused by my family because of it, lost jobs, faced discrimination in college, was shunned out of my church, and most of entire family. I'm nearly middle aged now, and have a stable life in spite of all that shit in my past but still I'm alone amd I just don't have on outgoing personality, I have a couple of great guy friends, as per my interests are bit more male-dominated but… I would like to have at least one girlfriend or even just one female friend

No. 3397

I'll be your female friend anon! I know how you feel they say that people are more accepting these years but there's still many places where being gay is frowned upon. Hang in there tho there's many of us that are in a similar situation, don't let anyone make you feel less for this.

No. 3571

File: 1580521147972.jpg (40.37 KB, 667x500, b289151ac3cdd60616449f6b718a29…)

Filing for divorce tomorrow… for a long time I thought I was a narcissist or sociopath or just someone incapable of love, I finally understood who I was after a few months of soul searching. There were so many signs, notably the fantasizing and hooking up with girls since high school. Wearing boys clothes and my best friends yelling at me for it. Finding men physically repulsive. And every single one just went right over my head.
I do love my husband. There was never a doubt. Even if ur not attracted to a person you can love them deeply. Like the love you have for your mother or sister or cousin or child. and I think that's why It tooke me so long to come out, Having to hurt the person you love the most and made a promise to isn't easy, I do wish it didn't have to be this way but we both deserve beteer

No. 3581

File: 1580555902054.gif (956.9 KB, 490x268, nNT78nB.gif)

Welcome to the club, nonny! That was really brave of you!

No. 3591

File: 1580568334485.jpg (21.25 KB, 783x391, images.jpg)

>I do love my husband. There was never a doubt.
>Also you think you're a lesbian
how are you in love with someone who you're not ever capable of being attracted to ?

No. 3592

Good luck, anon! It feels so liberating to finally be able to like and love who you really want.

She said she loves him like a sibling or cousin or child, not that she's in love with him.

No. 3599

Do you only love people you want to fuck, anon?

No. 3600

It’s a familial and platonic love not a romantic or erotic love.

No. 3619

This may sound a bit odd but congratulations on your divorce, anon!

No. 3680

Don't know how to word this without sounding ESL, but what does it feel like to be attracted to women?

I'm still trying to sort out my feelings on sexuality in general… I know for a fact that men are repulsive to me, but how do I know if I'm into women? I find women pretty and fantasize about being with one but I've never actually been in a situation where a real life woman has turned me on. Sure, sometimes models or women in porn have been attractive to me but I don't count porn as being a good indicator of healthy sexuality for obvious reasons. Help me, anons.

What does it feel like to be a gay woman and how do you know if you're gay?

No. 3699

When you fall for women irl, then you know.

No. 3700

How old are you and do you have any experience with either sex?

No. 3711

I'm not sure how to explain, but I kind of relate to straight men when they describe their attraction to women.

No. 3729

Moved to >>>/g/132141.

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