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Mishkali (Nikki) and her fiance Svatti (Rae) are cosplayers, youtubers, and tik tokers who typically make content on anime, manga, disney movies, and general pop culture. They reportedly support themselves from patreon and youtube alone. Nikki has over 400k followers on youtube, but only gets decent traction on their My Hero Academia content.
Nikki has been suspected of lying about a severe brain injury
recently, which has allegedly made her lose all of her memories from the past 3-7 years. She apparently forgot her name, her fiance, her dogs, her job, past and current friendships, her entire college experience, and any of her own content/interests.
She now goes by "L" which was the last character she cosplayed before "losing" her memories.Condensed milk/order of events>On November 24th, 2020, Rae tweeted that Nikki lost her memories so they’d be rewatching Full Metal Alchemist and doing a live-reaction thread.>On November 25th, Rae announced via a twitter thread that she accidentally hit Nikki on the head with her trunk door, and gave her “retrograde amnesia.”>Doctors diagnosed her with a concussion and she either spent a night or went home the same day.>Rae announced the same day that doctors have declared her physically fine and to have no brain damage.>By November 28th, Nikki was already using tik tok to discuss her amnesia>On December 1st, 2020, less than a week after losing memories, Nikki posted a 6 part tik tok series as a Q&A on her amnesia.>On February 3rd, 2021, Nikki posts a “I have amnesia” vlog where it shows the first (same) night she’s back home, and Rae tours her through the house, which comes off as completely staged and fake. She asks questions like “Do we have children?” >On February 12th, Rae said in a youtube video that Nikki never even passed out or lost consciousness. >In the same video, Nikki apparently also mentions that she forgot her own name but regained memory of it.>February 17th, they both posted a video on Nikki's channel where they stated that they wanted to make “Amnesiac” content because they believe it’s a rare opportunity. >She now wants to go by L (a Death Note character she cosplays often)>Claims she sometimes thinks her fiance Rae is "Light Yagami," because of previous “cosplay memories”>Is now reinventing her identity because she feels like she doesn't know who she is anymore. >Is now “pronoun indifferent” >They have made four videos on the topic of having amnesia. >People are starting to question the validity of it in their own joint fan community, so Nikki took to twitter to “dispel” rumors.Some things about Nikki>25 years old>Has a design/Art degree>Diagnosed with autism>Had a falling out behind the scene with one of their MHA cosplayer friends but no details were posted>Adopted from Russia>Possibly wealthy parents, both her and her fiance live in a large house with an income that doesn’t match>Says she has been on cognitive rest from screens, but the timeline of her likes/interactions on social media says otherwiseSome things about Rae>23 years old>Couple cosplays with Nikki>Has been absolutely giddy about the circumstances regarding amnesia>immediately started vlogging in the aftermath>has shown zero remorse or sadness about accidentally making her fiance lose 7 years??>First order of business the day after was rewatching old anime instead of alerting friends/family (some found out via twitter)Links/Social Media
Nikki's new “L” identity twitterhttps://twitter.com/l_lawlishit
“I Have Retrograde Amnesia” Vloghttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YdVih2VgR_4&ab_channel=L
"I Forgot My GF Tag"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4AdL63j4po&t=55s&ab_channel=Mishkali
"I Have Retrograde Amnesia | GRWM"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G47M4-1KW1Y&t=224s&ab_channel=Mishkali
"Updates and What to Expect"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTb-wyy8DzA&t=1s&ab_channel=Mishkali
this topic might lead to some medfaggotry, so I’ll let mods decide if it’s ok to list a link/summary on what retrograde amnesia is/isn’t.
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Rae's first mention of the amnesia
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and is now relapsing into her ED again because she "forgot" her recovery
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Samefagging to add,>>140834
If this was all a ploy to cash in on the Death Note fandom resurgance… I have no words.
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don't mean to keep samefagging/adding to the thread, but there's just a lot of shit showing their asses.
>I have chosen to have an eating disorder
cannot tell if this is a typo.
This is the part makes it obvious that she's lying and I don't see why people aren't calling her on it more.
Even if her last memory was of cosplaying L, her memory should be of cosplaying the character. Cosplaying. Amnesia doesn't alter your old memories. Why would she suddenly think that she IS L or confuse her gf with Light when she had no 2013 "memories" of living her life as this fictional character? This is some dumb ass movie bullshit.
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like I said before I don't wanna medfag, but the uwu mental-health-is-quirky crowd seems to think smacking the word "spectrum" onto something suddenly means that there aren't any hard fast rules in medicine.
No nikki, you cannot forget 7 years of your life and not even pass out. And immediately post onto your social media the next day.
Also after rewatching the "I have amnesia | GRWM" video, I'm realizing now that the "house tour" amnesia vlog was the same
day of the incident and they hadn't gone to the ER yet…so literally vlogging WAS the first priority.
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same ayrt, adding on. It smells of some dumbass movie shit because she really wants it to be. this was posted three days after the incident
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Her amnesia GRWM video popped up on my recommended. The format in which they decided to elaborate on the matter was suspicious enough, but on top of that they seem like complete scammers. Nikki especially. Must be the greasy bangs.
I don't have any milk per sé, just a couple money hungry tweets from Nikki. Waiting for the autistic cosplay content on onlyfans.
I was so confused to see that they had been playing up this charade for months now and that they haven't had a thread yet.
This is for sure circa 2009-2010 antics, and the weirdest part is that they haven't gotten much pushback?? The fact that they are saying people are accusing them of lying is at least an indicator that there is some, but I can't find it in comments sections. They must be deleting shit.
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money must be drying up because they pulled this stuff right after they were attempting to shift to Deathnote content, and they were getting annoyed by MHA content requests.
Their typical video gets 20-50k views while their MHA videos get hundreds of thousands to millions of views. Just search terming MHA and her twitter, you can see so many tweets of her getting pissed that people want more mha.
making a correction to what I wrote in the order of events, and confirming what I said here >>140861
:The Amnesia vlog/house tour IS the day nikki hit her head and she had
*not* actually been to the hospital yet
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forgot to add the rest of this twitter thread. It just keeps sounding more mentally ill.
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So after watching the amnesia GRWM Youtube keeps pushing her GRWM videos in my feed and good god is she a munchy. I skipped through the video because now way in hell am I listening to her blabber on about her period while doing her makeup for 20 minutes. This video is about endometriosis, and evidently she had a hystorectomy because of it? I've heard of only a few cases where the condition led to a hystorectomy. She also says that her ovaries and fallopian tubes are still there. I'm not a doctor but seems like bullshit to me.
She also mentioned being homeschooled, which explains a lot.
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Our amnesiatic, autistic, endometric cosplay kween
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there's several types of hysterectomy's, she's probably describing a partial one.
that being said, I HIGHLY doubt she's had one because of endo. They won't usually do it for that. That and she's so young, they'd go out of their way to make sure she kept it.
If there’s no reason to remove the fallopian tubes, they will usually be left in because they help with hormonal balance. That being said, I still highly doubt she had a hysterectomy done. Doctors are extremely misogynistic and will do everything to keep your baby factory open. You could be rolling on the ground in pain, screaming for them to take out your uterus and they’d be like “nah.”
I know several people irl and online with endo and out of all of them, only one has had a hysterectomy. In her case, the endo was extremely advanced, she was in almost constant pain, and she was also in her mid to late 30s by the time a doctor agreed to take it (it really only even happened then because she would have died otherwise)
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Spoiled milk, but I didn't know that Nikki was originally known as RetardedJackSparrow (still visible on her Youtube link in her Twitter bio). Wonder how she hasn't gotten cancelled for it by her sjw extremist follower base.
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You’d think she would make a new link for her YouTube channel this looks so bad in her bio
I noticed that and I’m so confused her fans haven’t gotten pissed yet>>141284
Not gonna lie I kinda believe the autism, because faking amnesia is preying autistic, also she was diagnosed as a kid.
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>If I named myself after a death note character
She is cosplaying the character that is now literally her name. She didn’t choose Elle, but she chose “L”
She has to think people are dumb to not see the link
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it's sooo strange to think that a person's first thought while being in a home she doesn't remember is "haha this dog is ugly"
Even if she wants to use the "I was disoriented" excuse, she still has been overall jovial about this, especially rae.
Also she says in her "I have amnesia grwm" video that she knew that she couldn't remember anything, and that she was "analyzing" everyone to see how to act??? Like as if it's a fucking jason bourne movie lol>>141427
Them both having their profile pictures as death note characters is killing me. The proof is right there.
& basically everyone else.
Your healthcare system must suck.
I had a hysterectomy due to endo - it wasn’t severe but the pain was pretty intense, they took everything but my ovaries - they’re what cause the hormonal imbalance when removed and is the only reason they kept mine - being in my late 20s and hitting menopause doesn’t sound fun, neither does HRT to try and counteract that.
Not saying that this girl isn’t full of shit, but it’s actually pretty common. It’s just not a topic people often discuss because you go through so many emotions after having it done - loss of baby factory makes some women feel less .. valuable I guess.
Agreeing with what >>141482
. Nikki is a munchie in her own right about a lot of things, but this might not be one of them. She mentioned in a patreon vlog (I'll try to get it on here later) that she was getting a pregnancy test removed from her hospital bill's itemized list because they took it from her blood and they didn't ask her if she could get pregnant. That seems like a bit too in depth of a lie to off-hand mention in a vlog.
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I've been combing through/search terming twitter and comment sections, and other things when they post, and I have never ever seen anyone refer to Nikki as being fat. She is literally thin and petite with an ED. And sure she might be getting DMs but I just don't buy it.
She started to push this idea that people were calling her fat in the MHA cosplay vids, after they started doing really well. And Rae was the cosplayer everyone was there to see..
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Last thing for now, but also she keeps retweeting and liking memes that are dated during the time she "lost her memories"
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sa. Found youtube comments from a few days ago combatting her, and she's now saying she had previous head conditions? She's never claimed this before.
I didn't post the person she was responding to because I smell cowtipping, but if y'all want to find it, it's at the end of her comment section on the video "I Forgot My GF GF Tag"
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might be cow-tipping but they made some decent points that aren’t in this thread so I think it’s worth it. Also she replied more
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adding nikki’s response after. also noticed that all of the comments that are confused or questioning are at the bottom of the comment section, these were posted only a few days ago?
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Aren’t hospitals super liable for discharging potentially serious injuries without insisting they stay? Knowing her she absolutely would have stayed, and she said in her vlog that she’s lucky to have good insurance from her dad .
A hospital wouldn’t let someone with a chopped off leg go home even if the person insisted, because they’d essentially be assisting in suicide.
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she has multiple videos talking about her medical conditions and never mentioned head injuries in any.. Clearly a quick lie lol
Hope I’m not flooding but i can’t believe more people aren’t on this, I really hope more people look at her and rachel. Rachel in particular kinda seems like a driving force from what I’ve watched. Also her tiktok is a treasure trove, check the caption
An American hospital can and will keep you if you have major head trauma. The only way they would let her out was if they determined she was capable of intelligently and knowingly signing paperwork that released her on her own reconnaissance . This is why if someone has you committed for suicidal ideation you can't chose to leave but if you check yourself in you can.
Her fiance has no legal power to do it and they wouldn't allow her it if she had no idea who/where/when she was. She lost 7 years, meaning she would fail a basic cognition test which asks what year it is. Her doctor would be committing medical malpractice letting am amnesiac just go like that. If she did leave of her own reconnaissance somehow (like the her 7 years ago knows how to press for the right to be released and would really cause issues for staff) she would not only know the term for leaving against doctor's orders, but she would also be making a major mistake that would follow her medically for the rest of her life insurance wise.
interestingly enough, she said in her GRWM video that she only remembered that it was "2020"
Very fucking convenient.
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I am starting to get the vibe that she is using this amnesia shit to age herself down. What's with the terminology here? It's almost like she's a teen in the mid 2010s… oh wait, that would be exactly 7 years ago. She's 25 now.
Also she has stopped referring to Rae as her fiance, and seems to be using girlfriend/boyfriend to refer to Rae. Cause you know, she forgot the engagement.. This could also be a way to have grounds for a break up in the future. Also Rae is NOT
trans, she is a slightly butch girl, so Idk why nikki keeps calling her "boyfriend"…
I'm almost pissed rae is in all of this shit because rae actually is hot with a talent for cosplay.
I think the motive is attention, simple as. There's literally nothing to hint at pretending to be younger in the tweet you capped or in her public communication on social media.
Also, Rae isn't that hot and cosplay isn't a talent. whereas patternmaking, sewing, makeup and grooming are.
maybe it was a nitpick, but I was referring to the use of the word "smutty" I just haven't met someone in their mid 20s using such a dated word.
ok if you don't find rae hot then that's your opinion? I think she is, and liking her cosplay is subjective. >>142198
I think she then claimed that she had some tik toks saved from before the "incident." But it doesn't make sense because why would that even be a priority?? like nikki, if you really lost your memory, maybe go to therapy? call your parents? get offline??
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she’s been posting a lot of artistic Tik toks with music that came out 7ish years ago (marina and the diamonds FROOT album and Lana del rey stuff). She is definitely trying to come off as 7 years younger (mentally)
check this caption
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I feel like they’re gonna speed up to her remembering everything. Or, she gets “hit” on the head again and suddenly remembers the last 7 years lol
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Tweeting this on her main acct? Is she not embarrassed? I’m not for always making adults turn their personal spaces into pure kid friendly spaces, but her audience is mostly made up of teens …
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sage for being off topic, but I can't believe she cosplays for a living and nikki continues to have mud streaks for contours. She already has a super horse face, and L has a V shaped face so I don't get why she's even going in this direction.
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I am not including the person's reply because they're definitely being really suspect for talking to her about stuff from this thread, but her response here really shows what >>142199
is talking about in regards to the healthcare system. There's no way they'd let a 7 year
memory loss amnesiac out after a few hours
She has NO clue what severe amnesia actually entails
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Good points. I initially wasn't going to post this because I thought I'd give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she picked up on some modern lingo in the few months since her accident, but it also struck me as discordant with her amnesia that she used the term "fit" to refer to her birthday outfit. Didn't that only come into popular use a year or two ago?
It's not completely unbelievable but it is a bit odd for her to be so quickly and casually "with the times" and all the nuance that entails.
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I agree with >>143258>>143260
unfortunately yes, it's embarrassing seeing the difference in cosplay accuracy between her and rae. But rae also just has a better suited face for it.
And here we go with the fake boi/enBy journey! The name change to "L" being because of her favorite boy character is just undeniable at this point.
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so they're spending hundreds (maybe even more??) to fly to the pacific northwest a year from now, to do a deathnote/twilight skit??? There was a twilight nostalgia resurgence on like tik tok and twitter earlier in the pandemic, but that wave completely ended… They are severely behind the trends
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I don’t think they’re doing this to be trendy, I think this is them frivolously living out their middle school fantasy
I looked into it and apparently the house is an Airbnb. Reading the description, the owner typically requires a two night minimum. And while this screenshot says $379, the description says $450 for Friday/Saturday bookings so depending on what days of the week they booked, they may have spent $750-$900 minimum to book the house
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true, but what's weird is the fact that they're living out their middle school fantasy to double as making cosplay content that will then pay* when that's definitely not gonna happen. Her next few tweets are followed by her complaining about not having enough money for insurance?? spending 750-900 when you're about to be completely uninsured soon is mighty steep (she's aging out of her parents plan)
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they appear to be oh so traumatized at losing nearly a decade of memories…
that's what's killing me the most, like you'd think they would have read at least ONE medical journal on the topic? One of the first videos that are recommended on the topic of amnesia is a Crash Course Science video that covers some of the very very
basics, but I can already tell this is what they most likely watched.
Forgetting years worth of people, places, things, entire events, is rare. People usually forget shit like how to type quickly, how to get to school, a buildings layout that they once knew quite well. But forgetting your fiance was seriously the move she decided to make?
I can't quite tell if this is an orchestrated effort, or if nikki started pretending and Rachel is rolling with it? I am leaning toward the latter, because it really does tie in with typical middle school chuunibyou/weeb actions.
I'm wondering how long the "USA healthcare won't help me" plot will last since it's easily debunked by >>143635
of her being still on her parents plan during her 'accident' Plus head injuries are monitored if there's even a chance of injury to the brain, let alone 7 year memory loss. Let's hope one of their fans has medical professional parents and asks them, the blowout after will be the stuff of cosplay cringe hall of fame. Maybe even above the homestucker who tried dying her skin with a sharpie bath.
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It only gets worse. They are both really getting into their deathnote identity crises.
Adding more pics
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Followed by this.
Rachel truly didn’t seem like she’d be on the non-binary train, when she’s been comfortable being feminine outside of (and inside of) cosplay up until now. They are all one step away from kinning.
Also something to point out, there’s an entire AMNESIA Arc in deathnote…. it’s caused by supernatural circumstances, and not a bump on the head, but still. Way too much of a coincidence.
I completely forgot about that part in Deathnote, that's a great point.
At this point they're just LARPing. I guarantee there will be a new saga in this whole thing, likely when they want to jump fandom to something else.
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following up on the "amnesiac content" because it looks like they're finally bringing their big audience grab into the mix. post attached is from their patreon. This is just full on larping
also erin is their third wheel assistant
I think it’s more about how the “amnesia” in deathnote was probably a point of inspiration/influence for Nikki and Rae, because they were rewatching the series + cosplaying for days at a time before the incident occurred.
It’s just too much of a coincidence in some ways, even if the characters don’t match.
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>I have body dysmorphia but not facial dysmorphia, I know I’m conventionally attractive.
Yeah I don’t think so. I’m sorry but her bang situation is really not suiting her horse face and jutted chin
ngl she kinda just has an unfortunate face. She looks nice with a middle part and embracing her natural lines/elongated face and headshape, but the hime bangs are so not suited, and weirdly ages her. Makes her look like a 35 year kpop fan>>144898
last thing I wanna tack on and say is that this >>142236
is confirmed by this video. She does think she's "mentally" a teenager.
The only real issue is the gummy smile. Though I wouldn't also call her "conventionally attractive". She's just very normal looking. Not ugly but not girl next door either. The Korean hairstyle doesn't work for her either. Something shorter would be better.
TBI are weird and can seem inconsistent and come with weird personality changes like impulsiveness so I don't know what to say about that assuming her injury was real.
Whether or not she's lying about amnesia, naming yourself after an anime character is peak cringe. Especially one like L. Very narc like.
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Her amnesia story immediately became a lie when Rae’s first reaction to nikki waking up (not even after a hospital visit, this was two hours after the incident) was to vlog her getting an “amnesia” house tour. No one can tell me any of that is real if she seriously lost 7 years.
Yeah I honestly would say she just doesn’t have the face for cosplay in particular, and it really brings out her worst features.
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More “I’m mentally a teenager now” fodder
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Adding on an off topic interesting note I heard in their mha GRWM video: nikki had to look up age of consent laws after she hooked up with Rae (rae was 17 and she was 20). I don’t have much thoughts concerning it because I guess it’s not a huge gap, but I definitely wasn’t into high schoolers when I was in the middle of college. Also she knew her age beforehand and rae was trying to keep it a secret. Rae reeeally looked young at the time, ngl. Look up their first gf tag video
God this is getting so cringe and everyday it looks more and more like they’re larping>>145403
Yeah I don’t see their age gap as an issue now, but a 20 year old hooking up with a high schooler is a little strange
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learn 2 sage fr*end>>145403
I think if they had even met when rae was out of high school it would have been pretty normal, but yeah when I was 20 I definitely thought high schoolers were kids. Photo ref of Rae at 18 on the left
"Amnesiac cosplay content" has been posted on patreon. The video is a My Hero Academia sketch and it involves deku (played by of course nikki) losing the last 7 years of his life, and reverting to the age of a 7 year old. Immediately afterwards, he wants to throw bakugou a birthday party because it's the only thing he remembers..
You know, for someone who supposedly lost 7 years of her life, she really doesn't seem to be traumatized in the slightest when recreating a parody experience of it. You'd think they would at least pretend to be sad to get sympathy points, but no they're all so giddy.
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oh dropped the pic
That makeup is so bad and the wig just looks like green napoleon dynamite hair>>146245
Yeah it’s beyond me how anyone can believe them at this point. I know people react to things in different ways, but this is getting ridiculous. Their story makes no sense and the way they treat amnesia like it isn’t a big deal is unbelievable
They're banking on their fans not knowing what memory loss is and rely on their knowledge of it from popular media.
blogpost whatever but I've actually lost memory from a head injury and it's nothing like this, it's not some fucking funny little adventure they depict it as. But it's their hugbox that lap it up like devoted little fans.
It's just awful and not even a good like like you've both pointed out. It's just like some shitty 3-star fanfic.
the youtube comment responses she posted (>>143255) is a clear example that much like nikki and rae's audience, they're relying on pop culture references to what amnesia is like to pass this off. Not to be repetitive, but they seriously think memory loss from brain trauma is this intangible metaphysical outcome, rather than a real reaction to physical damage.>>146263
She's already stated in one of her amnesia vids that she's gonna be slowly "regaining" memories "everyday" so that's absolutely what will happen.
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Second pic following.
All of this because she’s kinning a deathnote character?
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they actually spent hundreds (thousand?) of dollars to do a deathnote skit… and nikki's side twitter name a play on a deathnote character's name. Yep, she reaaaally hates L is only doing it for rae
She seems to want the deadname trans experience but she doesn't want to actually be called trans (which fair enough, she's just an nlog).
Because in what world does a new chosen name mean your old name makes you physically sick to hear it?? And the name nikki was already a fake name. I wanna know what her legal name is, but can't seem to find much
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she is now no contact with her family, this is a response to a patron telling their own story.
She literally changed her name to a Deathnote character and now she won't speak to the parents she had a decent enough relationship with not long ago.
Learn how to fucking sage, and you sound like either one of them or a fan.
Nobody said amnesia = relearning how to speak. Severe retrograde amnesia (up to 7 years of loss) is just never isolated, it’s paired with anterograde, speech loss, and sometimes refined mobility loss. Amnesia is for sure weird, but her situation is straight out of fiction.
Waking up after losing seven years of your life and doing a house tour on camera is just munchie galore.
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Her fans definitely found the thread, she posted a video
Summary for those who don’t wanna watch, sorry if this is long
> says she wants to address the rumors of people not believing her> says she does in fact have it> She apologizes for how she’s been handling it and how she’s been conducting herself > Says she’s on the spectrum and that she has never met the expectations of how people expect her to behave > Says the reason why the amnesia content has seemed super upbeat is because she doesn’t wanna show the negative > Says she didn’t wanna trigger people with the real side of amnesia > Says she has actually been assaulted and that people didn’t believe her then> Blah blah trauma> Says she was probably withholding stuff from the actual incident when she was with Rae > Says she “likely did pass out” when rae went into the shower, which is when she realized she didn’t know who the people she was around were. > Says she decided to just be rational and try to “roll” with the situation, despite not feeling comfortable. > Says she tried to retain normalcy to not disrupt rae’s life.
> Said she has now realized that she was avoiding the fact that her and Rae are no longer dating, due to the fact that she really doesn’t know Rae.
> Says they still have sexual chemistry and are good friends> Says she would love to just have her own apartment and figure things out on her own > Says she doesn’t remember making the choices of wanting to be with Rae > Says she still has not regained most of her memories> this isn’t the life she wanted, and the last thing she remembers is going to college for film and ditching cosplay due to drama from the black butler fandom> blah blah panic attacks> says through metaphysical healing she’s l realized that she shouldn’t have pretended it was a hallmark movie > says she was nearly suicidal before the accident and thinks her memory loss is connected to it, and wonders if PTSD is connected >rinse repeat
She not so subtly tries to address shit that’s been mentioned in the thread, like getting modern trends or relearning new software/apps so quickly, but she doesn’t say much on it. She also mentioned that she remembered some things closer to the accident (lol that’s especially not how that works)>>142236
you were right anon that this was a reinvent herself/break up with Rae move
It’s like all of her fans find it totally believable that she has literally assumed the name of the character she was cosplaying around the incident, and that she did a home tour an hour after “forgetting everything”
Totally normal guys. Oh it’s also interesting how it’s her doctors that keep bringing up the mental health possibility rather than blunt force trauma amnesia.
Bless you for the recap. My adhd ass saw that 30 min time stamp and checked out
Anyway this is completely unsurprising. It seems anytime they see someone poke a hole in their story, they rush and give some half-assed answer
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Her apologizing about how fake it all seemed and even saying “it’s not a hallmark movie, we shouldn’t pretend like it is” is such an obvious way to give themselves more wiggle room.
Same with the “I probably passed out” when in the Amnesia GRWM video her AND Rae said she didn’t pass out at all. Now it’s, “I passed out when she went into the shower, probably,” when even Rae said she took Nikki to the bed…?
Most of the damning comments came from Rae, I’m wondering if it lead to a fight? Rae didn’t post anything in support of the YouTube vid/tweet. >>153914
she did in fact pay lc a visit, pic related
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You know this whole lie could’ve been a blip in the ocean if she had just said she regained her memories. It would have obviously been an over exaggeration, but at least it’d be somewhat more plausible (still not how it works). Oh and that “metaphysical healing through crystals” is helping her with her amnesia lel.
Leaving your hobby that has a lot of fans that stresses you out, and leaving your significant other who does well in that area and who also you collab with, because you suddenly forgot it all… might convenient way to start over. She was expressing stress/lack of interest in cosplay even before the “incident”
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Saying that she wants her own apartment and doesn't feel romantically attracted to Rae anymore, yet taking Rae as her date to an old high school gathering the day before..seems weird. Almost feels like Nikki is leading Rae on.
If it's true, why doesn't she just post the records from her diagnosis to prove it?
Breaking up with her gf, getting tons of attention on her content, and "raising money for the medical bills" through donations over this makes it seem like a huge scam. Even if none of those things happened, her behavior does not make sense for someone who lost seven years of memories and her ~ amnesia ~ content looks like such a gimmick for views.
Not to armchair but she just comes across as on the spectrum and not wanting to take any responsibility for her own life.
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The insane blurry filter they used makes them look like picrel kek
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Rae has been responding weekly and not really liking nikkis tweets like she use to. She’s definitely heartbroken at having her fiancé break up with her. The amnesia larping isn’t fun anymore I see.
See pic, but the way she said “expecting moves to be made” like Rae is some kind of creep just doesn’t sit well >>155527
Did she say in the video that she is raising money for medical costs? Her dad originally agreed to pay for it, wonder if he stepped out because of the name change stuff lol.
Meant to say weakly* >>155664>tinfoiling incoming
My thoughts exactly, funny thing is that I think Rae would technically have the most proof/validity to blow it all wide open, but a lot of people fall for nikki’s “uwu gentle and small” act so Rae could just be portrayed as a big mean butch. Suddenly it’ll be “she gave me amnesia and can’t deal with the guilt.”
But their core viewer ship from MHA is deeply just interested in Rae’s bakugou, so who knows
I used to be a fan of Nikki and couple of years ago before I grew out of her content. At first when I heard of this whole amnesia thing, I was sympathetic. I watched her amnesia content and the sympathy turned to anger when I noticed the lies and inconsistencies and stuff that does not happen with amnesia much of which is mentioned in this thread.
The biggest thing that bugs me, and it has mentioned but I want to talk about it more is why isn't Nikki in therapy. Not even just with the amnesia (which if she did have it would be a big enough reason to get therapy), but she has all of these other mental health problems. She claims to have anxiety, depression, autism, body dysmorphia, and ED, PTSD, and probably more that I can't remember. She should be in therapy. Why isn't she?
The thing is, also, that she was in therapy just over a year ago. Her and Rae had a roommate and photographer named Kenny. Kenny brought weed into the house which apparently is a trigger for Nikki's PTSD that he knew about. Nikki and Rae kicked Kenny out of the house because of it which is understandable. At this time, Nikki had a Patreon only live stream where she brought up that her and her therapist talked about the whole Kenny situation. She was in therapy then, why isn't she in therapy now. I guess she could say that it's because she got kicked off of her dad's insurance, but that still does not check out for me. Nikki apparently was able to take over Kenny's half of the rent for a while when he moved out and before Erin moved in. Their rent could not be cheap. It is probably over $700 for each of them per mouth assuming that they all pay equally (and I may be underestimating with the cost). If she can take on an extra over $700 in rent, then there is no reason that she cannot pay for health insurance. If she can't pay for health insurance than maybe she should stop blowing her money on rocks and redesigning her already perfectly fine house, and new clothes which she has plenty of. There is no reason that Nikki cannot pay for health insurance that has mental health services covered. The whole not being able to afford health insurance thing is a bit suspensions for me anyway, but sticking to the therapy thing, I think the only reason that she is not in therapy is that her therapist would be able to call her out on her bullshit with the amnesia. You cannot convince me that between YouTube, Twitch, SuperChats, Only Fans, Merch, Sponsors, and maybe her family helping a little bit if needed that she cannot afford health insurance or in the very least some therapy.
I hope that all made since, I have dyslexia and autism, both of which make it very hard to get thoughts down on paper sometimes.
learn to sage.
On the kenny situation, do people know which livestream it is? Or around which month/year? Been trying to find more stuff on it
There is a Patreon only weekly vlog called "REAL TALK (no tea no shade)" where she gives the complete update on the Kenny situation last year.
The live stream is called "A Live Fashion roast" and she starts talking about Kenny around 2:45:47 and is also only on Patreon.
Nayrt but the entire point of this website is to post milk. If you aren’t going to provide proof of what you’re claiming then fuck off.
And again sage your fucking posts if you aren’t bringing anything new to the table
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Until mods clear newfags, here's something at least decently interesting. So nikki, erin (their live in assistant who definitely is not in love with one of them) and rae go either crystal, vintage furniture, or clothing shopping every week. Like every week. Crystals are not cheap, not by a long shot. They spend easily a few hundred dollars on crystals or decor a week just based on their weekly vlogs. They bought like over 20 crystals in just one haul. Nikki says its part of her "metaphysical healing."
This is just a fraction of what I could screencap of the shopping trips they take. Most of this is in the same month and a half. The medical bill total after insurance is around $1500, which looks like she probably could have managed without e-begging. Nikki also bought Fear of God Lounge wear for over $200, and another black set.
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The medical bill breakdown is included in her "Rat Beginnings: Weekly vlog" on the L channel
Nikki already has a slight resemblance to lainey, so I’m not surprised that she said very proudly that she bought her Fear of God lounge wear from the kids section.
“I’m a kids size 14” you mean adult women’s small?? Congrats, you spent 200- 300 bucks on kids clothes
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Just watched the video on why kenny isn't working with them anymore, and she states that she reached 600 patrons, but now she's around 400. So they lost almost 200ish hundred patrons in a year, sheesh. I also can't help but think how shitty it is that she's airing out her friend/coworker drama when her fans were also fans of his separately. He definitely shouldn't have brought weed in a house if that was a no go, but I want to hear his side
Kenny helped produce most of their big money grabs like the MHA skits
Ouch they lost a third of their patrons in a year. But I guess it shouldn’t be surprising considering the pandemic.
Was Kenny getting paid/compensated in anyway for the content he produced for them?
Okay, same anon as before. I did some research, and here are the ESTIMATES I came up with:
Patreon: Assuming all of her 447 followers have the second, $2 tier, she would be making $894/per month for that.
YouTube: Google says that YouTubers typically make $3-5 per every 1,000 views, but only get about 68% of that. Nikki's lastest video (The truth about my amnesia) has 55,000 views. Assuming she only posts one video a month that gets around 55,000 views, she would be making $1,246/per month.
Tiktok: I used an online calculator for this one because I couldn't figure out how to calculate it. I entered her username, follower amount, like amount, and number of videos, and it came out to about $579-868/per month.
Merch: I SUPER lowballed her merch. She uses the website, "Spreadshirt," which only takes about 20% from its users. Assuming she sells $200 of merch a month, she'd be making $160.
Instagram: I also used a calculator for this one. Entered Nikki's username, and got $358-597/per POST. She usually posts 3 times a month.
Note: I underestimated everything, did not account for her posting 2+ videos monthly on Youtube (which she has done before), and didn't add in what she makes from her Onlyfans.
Her and Rae most likely split the bills. She makes MORE than enough to cover medical expenses, assuming she even has any to begin with.
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Not sure if this is just Nikki's face, but how she looks when Rae is talking is so unsettling. She just looks bored, or like she's annoyed. Definitely not how you might look at someone you've supposedly "just" started dating due to your amnesia.
For the last time, sage your posts people.
As for the estimates, she probably makes even more via patreon since there must be at least a few higher tier patrons. I know Nikki and Rae would say that they spend a lot of money on cosplay skit supplies etc, but they’ve been reusing the same cosplays (and not improving on them) and they’ve only done one large skit recently.
They do pay Erin (their editor/assistant) so there’s that, but I have a feeling she’d accept dirt as payment, she comes off as obsessed with them.
Also I’m 100% sure her parents would cover her expenses if she asked, so there’s that
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Interestingly enough, Rae is still following Kenny, so maybe it was more of a Nikki hate train.
She said that Kenny said that he didn’t know weed wasn’t allowed, but she says he’s lying.
I’m gonna dig, but I could’ve sworn Nikki said she smoked weed after college
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Can’t believe she’s going to meet people she knows in real life from cons and play up the fact that she doesn’t remember them. They’re gonna vlog the con when it happens so I’ll have the popcorn ready. >>155957
I think she has a private Twitter but I’ll have to look. I know she did move in right after Kenny was on his way out (and yes you did it right anon)
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A lot of them are also munchy/troon adjacent so they’ve been eating it up on social media.
What I can’t stop laughing about is how this whole amnesia bit + kicking Kenny to the curb has not only made them lose a huge amount of patrons, but also her tik tok views/likes are dwindling. All because Nikki wants to move away from doing the stuff that actually paid the bills.
I just think it’s weird that rae doesn’t have her own patreon/focuses on building her brand. She is the better cosplayer and actually seems to want to do the things that pay well. Nikki has stated that the mishkali channel/patreon are a part of her “business” and others involved are just employees.
pic shows how many views/likes they use to average in 2019-2020
rae is very much so in the desperate-to-get-back-together stage, while Nikki seems checked out. Rae is definitely cowish for tagging along in all of this, but I have more sympathy for her to some extent. I can tell Nikki has her wrapped around her finger. Also wasn't this Rae’s first “real” love? She’s been with Nikki since she was 17.
Hope Nikki does get that apartment and attempts to continue the channel without Rae, only for her to lose the rest of her patrons. It’d be pretty delicious
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You know, for someone who supposedly doesn't remember Rae being her girlfriend and wants to move out, get her own apartment, and has ended the relationship, Nikki looks awfully touchy-feely. These photos were from 4 days ago, Rae's Instagram. If you've just broken up with your longterm partner, wouldn't it be respectful to give them space to grieve?
Something about this just feels so wrong knowing that Rae is still in love with her but Nikki wants to move on.
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It gets even worse. She literally just enjoys the feeling of being pinned after, even at Rae’s expense.
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Ok so this is bugging me alot. I looked around and found she has a square space for her film/writing. it has her last name and what year she graduated. Looked up to see if there is some sort of list of names of graduates, there is. Her full name is Krista Nicole Ludowese, i'm guessing it was easier to go by a character's name when its the same as your middle
here's a link to her square space https://www.nludow.com/about
Same as >>157080
but thanks to your info I saw she directed a short film in 2018 about a woman who gets a head injury and develops amnesia. I guess the research on that came in handy?https://switch-shortfilm.com/https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKOUTr2gq4Y
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this is definitely her, it's her name listed on Linked-in (just the middle and last). It has her info linked. Nice find anon.
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holy SHIT, she was the main writer..
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I didn't even check to realize her and rachel literally are the head producer/directors involved. Wow. This is the milkiest it's been in a minute.
Also check out the set, camera equipment, and effort gone into this only to barely get 300 views… THREE hundred. Her parents must be funding this right???
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meant to reply to >>157085
not my own.
here's another pic showing the scene. Yeah, this is a HUGE project that probably took months of preparation, including getting really into amnesia I guess. This was only 2ish years ago.
Sorry if flooding, this is just kind of the final peg. It's so obviously all a lie it's creepy
Holy shit way to go anons. Finally some undeniable evidence that Nikki/L is just a pile of bullshit walking around in a skin suit. This has just been one big larp for her that she’s been planning for years in a way. Rae’s involvement in the film project makes it clear she knew this was a load of crap too, but probably went along with it all out of love or loyalty.
There’s also the fact that neither one of them has mentioned this huge “coincidence” on Twitter or in videos. Nikki could try to claim she doesn’t remember making the film, but Rae can’t make the same excuse. There’s no way she wouldn’t have said something, so they’re clearly trying to hide this from their fan base.
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wtf she has to be checking this page because it was not private when I found it earlier that day my bad. Here are the only screenshots I took, honestly wasn't much on there besides cringe writing. Bottom is her "normal" facebook that she was so freaked out about "accidentally" changing the name of
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So here are a few things i've combined together. I don't think its her parents paying for this I think its the girl Morgan, if you see she's worked super close with both Nikki and Rachel. Pretty much everything Nikki has worked on besides her senior thesis (which Morgan starred in) has been somehow linked to this girl.MG entertainment the production company that makes all these is managed by Morgan's mom it seems. But the status says forfeited existence, which google says it means the company didn't pay it's tax returns. Not sure what that means for the company but
Here's my question, I listed Nikki's IMBd credits and there are projects for this year/next that she is currently supposedly working on? With amnesia? With having a super hard time using screens? And it can be assumed if she is still working on these films she's getting paid, so why the fuck is she complaining about insurance?
Nikki and co are most definitely keeping tabs on this thread now that she said they found it (especially Erin) so it’s no surprise she would private stuff as soon as it was shared.
And whoa nice finds, this is definitely a rich parent propping up their kid for a potential acting career. And somehow Nikki and rae got hired. Like that one buy-in “record label” that would make music videos for kids if the parents paid for it (Rebecca black is the most notable case).
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sa, and yeah Morgan has a full on momager that just lies about all of her credentials, the articles are kind of hard to read because they’re so embarrassing. Her mom and dad are lead surgeons at a hospital apparently, hence why they can afford a full freelance cinematography group, actors, directors, etc. I can’t believe she just thought she could live out a concept she wrote about barely two years ago??
Here’s a link to the full thing https://www.journalgazette.net/features/20210105/15-and-producing-films
Is this not a lonelygirl15 situation? I want to say no, but do you think there's any chance Nikki comes out with 'surprise! this was all a marketing gimmick!!'
Even if that was the case, I think it would still be a little fucked up to appropriate a condition like amnesia that's pretty rare, not to mention life-ruining for a lot of people.
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eh i'm gonna go with no on that, they've played it up so much especially Nikki and attacking people who didn't believe her. I feel like she wouldn't want this movie to take off cause it would definitely highlight just how obvious her lies are but oh god how funny it would be if it does get made
Reading through that article I notice that Rachel is doing all the commenting. Gotta think that this is damaging Nikki's ego to get a four year film degree from a fancy art school and all it amounts to is working right alongside a literal child who has just as much if not more say over these projects
Gonna agree with >>157229
because she’s already made tearful vlogs talking about how depressed she is not “remembering anything” and her fans have been asspatting hard and talking about trauma left and right.
Maybe there is still a sliver of sympathy I have for Rae, if only because she is definitely not in control emotionally, and strikes me as either naive or a little dumb. She was excited to larp as well but things are getting realer then she probably anticipated.
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I find it very interesting that Nikki hasn’t posted about her non-cosplay short films since 2017
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I’m trying hard to find it but I saw a behind the scenes vlog she posted concerning “Switch” so she has talked about it casually on her channel.
However the “girl disappearing” short film is super hard to find, I can’t seem to find any info on what it’s even about, but I suspect it’s might be tied into her current lies too. I noticed something about the leads name lol
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anons we’ve been on an absolute roll, this is too good. I’m just surprised she hasn’t made any more posts on patreon or twitter about the thread. Either she’s being disciplined and not looking or Erin is keeping up with it because someone made the websites private mighty fast (like within three hours of the link being posted)
This is a nitpick, but I think what I finally realize is wrong with her face is how she’s been doing her eyebrows, they’re miles a part?? I think she’s been getting a lot of inspo from dior and gucci models and you kinda need a non-horse face to pull this look off.
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For someone who has been cosplaying as long as she has, Nikki sure still can't do her makeup. She claims that it's something she "forgot" how to do because of amnesia (see: her girlfriend tag amnesia version with rachel) but I think she's just saying that to excuse how bad she is.
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did she seriously say that? I must have missed it, and lol that’s hilarious because that’s not how muscle memory works. It’s been like half a year or more by now, you’d think she’d relearn or have Rachel help?
But after just a cursory glance she’s never
been able to do her eye makeup. Pic is from like 3 years ago
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I’ll try to save and post a vid here if anyone is interested but here’s a summary of the juicy bits from her recent patreon only vlog. Most of it was just dicking around besides these points
> says she’s still dealing with everything and it’s been settling in more so right now
> shes been feeling very tired and scattered
> wants to redecorate but knows it’s not a good financial decision
> says to imagine what it would be like if your 17 year old self suddenly had access to all the things they’d want from having their own money, and she says that’s what it feels like.
Another confirmation that she thinks she’s mentally a teen, even though with her claims of losing 5-7 years of memories she would technically be mentally 19-20? She’s 26 now. Is this her excuse for spending a few hundred bucks every week on retail therapy?
> says she’s getting to know Rae and that she likes it, and that it’s been fun
> says she’s technically broken up with her and that it’s still strange
> she says they’re “mutually grieving” each other and that’s it’s bizarre to think about
> says they’ve been genuinely becoming friends again
> says she needs to work on herself more before committing to a relationship, but that she also feels like they’re still pretty much dating and that it’s really confusing
Pic attached is unrelated, just an funny/ugly angle from her attempt at a look book
Honestly, I hate to say this again, but this whole thing is just Nikki not wanting to take responsibility as an adult anymore. She wants to revert back to her teen years so badly.
And if she wanted it to truly be over with Rae because she claims she's not ready for a relationship, it would be very easy to just set up boundaries and stop hanging all over Rae in their livestreams. I mean, she claims she doesn't remember her well/doesn't have romantic feelings for her, right? So why is it hard for her to just take a step back.
Again, more excuses from her,and because her fans eat it up, she doesn't feel pressured to come clean anymore. Don't think we'll see her suddenly "regain her memories," anytime soon, if at all.
Ok as it seems like another nikki fan has made it to the thread, let me break it down and give the actual script.
after she mentions that rae said no on spending more money, nikki went on to say:
“I cannot make that expense make sense, because I’ve just been going a little crazy lately. Just in general. Just cause like, I don’t know guys, I think like the best way to describe it is like, like how this whole thing has been going down, is to imagine if your 17 year old self had access to the stuff that you have now, like in your 20s, like how I am now. Yeah I’ve just got all this business stuff going on, and yeah. Before doing another room make over I gotta finish the ones I’m doing right now.”
What part of that isn’t her saying she’s mentally like a 17 year old with a 26 year olds bank account? Also, she’s talking about spending money on furniture, so how is that like an adult getting shamed for buying stuff teens like? Last time I checked furniture isn’t a big teen item. She’s talking about being able to spend in the way her young self always wanted to.
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I thought she said she wasn’t trans? the troon army might come at her for dealing with “self hate” because she doesn’t identify as trans but still calls herself non-binary, and now claims to have gender dysphoria?
She literally dresses femininely all the time
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SA, pic related.
This is definitely
a very masculine and SO not feminine look!!!1 lel
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Imagine starting this many new cosplays when you haven’t even managed to learn how to get all of your hair into the wig.
One thing I’ve noticed about cowish cosplayers that still can’t do makeup or hair, is that they’re so in it for the attention that they quickly want to slap shit together for literally the speed of posting a selfie within the day. Because putting time and effort into it would mean you actually care about it outside of getting asspats. How do you possibly do your makeup for 4-5 years and still never learn how to do eyeliner? Sage for sperging
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If anyone caught her stream from last night, Nikki looked absolutely bored and miserable because she wasn’t the center of attention, also her cosplay sucked compared to rae’s. Her wig was just the one she wears for L. Looks nothing like kid Loki.
I sense new apartment or official no-contact with Rae incoming. >>162146
lol maybe best to not admit to ban evading even if it wasn’t correct. Also a note, if you want to directly respond to someone’s post, click their No. after the post date. read rules/info
I know I'm 4 months late but this thread caught my eye because I wanted to see the absolute hilarity of faking amnesia and, wow.
I hit the back of my head slipping on a pool locker room floor, I had amnesia for about 32 hours and my memory hasn't been the same since.
And that was minor.
It should also be noted… (haven't read through the full thread yet so feel free to tell me to fuck off) … that amnesia isn't just black space it's more like being in a dream state with limited cognition (especially immediately after injury) and you end up in memory loops where you fixate on one thing for several hours, like asking the same question unrelentingly.
It's also strange to observe your own body because it feels like you're in a suit. I remember seeing my outfit and liking it so much I wished it was actually mine. Mild Amnesia logic is like way-too-stoned logic in ways.
It was two weeks before I could leave bed again and resume any kind of education.
Anyhow, I'm sure all that is available online I just don't know any irl folks who have gone through it so I figured I'd offer my shit tier personal experience in contrast to this larp taking place.
It’s beyond rare for her to have the outcome of a concussion like she claims, and yes much of what you’ve said has been echoed in other ways but it definitely all helps show that Nikki just spewing medical fiction.
And not to beat a dead horse, but my god she directed and wrote a film about a girl having amnesia … and she’s not mentioned a single word on follow ups with her doctor and what they say about all of it
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This is literally her full time “job” and she couldn’t muster up the effort to use liner and double check that her lip coverage isn’t off ?
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sage for nitpick but this is killing me
Also, she posted on her official YouTube page her reacting to MHA S1EP1, and she seems positively uninterested and putting on airs.
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What is going on with her wig here?? /Sage of course
Also, a run-down of her newest MHA reaction video:
–trying too hard to be funny
–trying too hard to pretend like she doesn't like/love the show as much as she "used" to
–bad acting overall
Nothing important happened in the video. Just Nikki being Nikki with the humor of a 15 year old, and her friends playing along. Lucky for her her fanbase is mostly 13-15 year olds. They don't see through her bad acting.
>>164332>What is going on with her wig here??
1. It’s clearly a really cheap, shitty wig
2. She bought the wig from a black wig store, so the lace is way darker than her skin tone
3. She cut the lace straight across in a semi-circle like a complete fucking dumbass, so it left a hard line on her forehead
Anyone who has any experience with lace fronts knows that you cut the lace as close as possible to the wig fibers, so it’ll blend nicely and look like a natural hairline. It’s ridiculous that she cosplays for a living when she does amateur crap like this and thinks it looks good
As soon as I saw it I knew it was from a black wig store lel. Why she didn’t return it or bleach the lace? Who knows. And funny enough, black lace front wigs are usually better quality, yet hers still looks frizzy and fried. This is what cosplaying for over 6 years has gotten her, while her cosplay friends uptown cosplay and bukkitbrown have actually progressed in wig making (although they’re all still cringey and cowish as well).>>164332
She’s definitely pretending to not like it, which I suspect is either her trying to depart from it entirely or trying to hammer home her amnesia story. Or both.
nicki said she had a “triggering
” situation regarding weed in college and now she can’t smell it, and sure that could be true but how convenient was it that she already had somebody lined up for the lease when Kenny left? It seems like she didn’t have a problem with it until she needed another room for someone else.
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not new info by any means, but it's weird to me how and when nikki chooses she isn't okay with something. she's stated before that she doesn't like weed, she has PTSD because of it, she doesn't like people who are dependent on it, etc.– but headcanons characters who are potheads and openly jokes about it.
one might say that her only problem is smelling it, but if kenny was smoking outside and she wasn't even smelling it, what was the point in shaming him into moving out?
i believe she just wants things done her way like a petulant child. there was probably something more going on with her and kenny and nikki used the weed as an excuse.
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sage for being nitpicky but why does she talk/type like a 15 year old from tumblr? she posted this in march of this year. is this her "pretending" she has reverted back to a 17 year old's mindset, or has she always talked/typed like this?
Glad you mention this, anon. Indeed there was more going on with Kenny. One being that they were taking advantage of him in a subtle, but not so subtle way. This was achieved by shaming him for not having a ‘real job’ followed by how dirty his room always was. I think the dude was depressed and of course he was! He lived with Nikki! But because Nikki relied on him for his camera and his, (honest to god) amount of time he put into her projects, she shamed him to try to get him to do what she wanted.
Another thing that I think even another anon brought up previously in this threat is that Nikki hates when the attention of her channel is diverted from her. Kenny was pretty hilarious to MANY of her viewers and we all know what happens to those who steal the spotlight from her.
Haha, but anon, Nikki likes playing a child.
just a question— if you know all of this about nikki/kenny, why haven't you stepped up about it online (not trying to be mean, just genuinely asking)? i'm sure speaking up about it would really put a dent in nikki's followers count, but i guess you'd have to be prepared for the hate her fans would send your way.
just a general question for anyone who might know the answer: has kenny ever spoken up about what happened with nikki?
I think two things can be definitely true. Weed might trigger
her, it’s not uncommon, but she definitely exaggerated it when it suited her. And a person moving in within a month is practically lined up. Erin had to be ready to pack, get tickets or drive, and quit whatever she was doing work or school wise.
(Off topic, but does anyone know erin’s age? She comes off as extremely young.)>>164608
I can say that a lot of people genuinely liked Kenny’s involvement in the skits and he actually made them tolerable (or at least well made). Rae and Nikki have been operating on 2012 tumblr humor for far too long. Even rae’s Twitter handle is a dated joke.
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same anon. I guess I spoke too soon, because Rae’s Twitter title name changed and it hasn’t been anything else besides that moon moon joke for months, and I could’ve swore I saw it as that same name earlier. so they’re probably looking at the thread again.
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Cannot stop laughing at the fact that nikki was apparently inspired by her friend bukkitbrown (pic related) to do this cosplay.. it’s laughable in comparison.
Rae didn’t even retweet Nikki’s cosplay, but she sure did retweet bukkit’s kek
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Not sure if anyone saw this– July 22nd, Nikki posted on her personal Instagram that her and Rae went on a date. But didn't she just recently say she was gonna move out and get her own apartment, and that her and Rae were just friends now? Feeling bad for Rae. Seems more and more everyday like she's just being dragged around and led on because Nikki knows she'll lose a chunk of her own following if she dumps Rae completely.
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Rae finally retweeted Nikki's Miss Minutes cosplay. Only AFTER it was mentioned in this thread. Hm..
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New vlog on her patreon, here’s a summary of the only juicy parts.
>Nikki hasn’t vlogged in awhile due to her being busy and also personal stuff
>She says it’s too private to discuss any further than that.
>A lot of the stuff about her “amnesia” has really been “hitting” and she’s getting help and working through it (whatever that means)
>Says that if she’s being honest, from what she can remember last (5-7 years ago) she was done with cosplay due to the black butler fandom drama, so doing stuff now is hard because she’s not as in it
>Says there are things that she wants to do and make now, and feels frustrated that she can’t explore this “new” world of hers.
Ok I seriously want to know more about the black butler drama now, anyone have any inklings? She’s referred to it multiple times now.
Not sure if this is what the "drama" is, but back in the day Nikki was known to make shippy videos/shoots involving two Black Butler characters. The fandom was really divided about this ship because Ciel (who Nikki cosplayed often) was a 14 year old boy, and the character he was shipped with (Sebastian) was over a hundred.
I never really watched the show but I remember many people being upset with how many Ciel/Sebastian shippers there were in the BB fandom. Nikki probably got a lot of hate for her shippy photoshoots and videos.
And– if anyone here has ever watched Black Butler or even seen a clip, it's really easy to tell that Ciel is like 14. Like he very much sounds/looks like a child. Very weird to me that people shipped him with a grown man and justified it by saying Sebastian wasn't actually human.
In her GRWM Black Butler / Why I Quit video, she said that the big reason that she quit was because anytime she posted anything other than BB cosplay, people would bully her in the comments and say that they wanted more BB from her. She said it hurt her feelings as an artist and creator. I imagine she also got some heated backlash for her shippy stuff, but I don't know. She has a lot of private BB videos on youtube, so I can't find any of the shippy videos besides the Canon/Fanon.
Wasn't sure whether to sage or not. Did it just incase.
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I think black butler fans are kinda sick to not think it’s just straight up pedophilia to imagine Sebastian and Ciel fucking. Ciel isn’t even 14 for the first few seasons, he’s 12. And he really really looks like he’s 10-11, so there’s no excuse. Rae and Nikki were labeled “pro-shippers” by the younger anime/cosplay community. Shockingly, kids are making their own boundaries within the hellscapes that are cons and online spaces. Some kids make puritanical over reaches, but in general they share some fair critiques on the over sexualization of teens, and cosplayers like Rae and Nikki are getting heat for it. How many fujo bait cosplayers over the age of 18 do you see anymore?
Rae made a long notes app essay addressing some of it, and I was agreeing with a lot of what was said up until this point. A community giving autonomy of consent to a minor is how predators thrive? Because most minors will say yes to a grown ass adult against their own wishes. Its not a consent issue it’s a manipulation issue. It’s true there isn’t a magical cut off that makes someone truly mentally an adult, but I think leaving the onus on the older party is still safer.
What a weird work around instead of just addressing why she ships a 12 year old and an adult kek
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The original tweet
She keeps saying that she’s pissed about her audience only liking one thing, but her content is literally fanfiction fuel and tropey sexual innuendos. Of course that’s all people are going to want. She tried to diversify with an audience (a young one at that) that isn’t looking for any other content, which is her own fault. And funny enough, she always folds. She’s been making My Hero Academia and Black Butler content lately, even after saying she hates the demands for it and doesn’t wanna do it.
She doesn’t quite diversify fast enough since her cosplay materials and methods don’t last (i.e. wigs, makeup style consistency, clothes) nor does she improve on them. The gap between her and her pro cosplay friends shows why she still uses yaoi skits as her crutch.
Something that’s been bothering me about this, is that i checked high and low to see if anyone had accused her of faking back in February, and I couldn’t find anything. She does push negative comments on her YouTube channel to the bottom, but I was checking shit like a hawk and saw nothing. No one on Twitter said anything either, no amount of term searching could be found. None of her patrons either (not that they would) Same with Instagram comments.
It’s just like when she said everyone was calling her fat in her cosplays when she’s literally small/average. I feel like she creates a person to get mad at before it ever happens so she can get ahead of it or seek sympathy. In this case, she ended up getting exactly what she asked for I guess lel.
nikki has always been like this unfortunately. i won't lie; i used to be a fan of hers. but after listening to her complain about cosplaying, accuse people of calling her fat, and just overall being ungrateful for all that she has, i became annoyed with her, and suspected her of lying about the supposed "hate" she was getting.
i've checked her youtube comments, instagram comments, done extensive twitter searching. etc. and have seen NOTHING of anyone calling her fat or insulting her at all really.
she is just a sympathy-seeker and always has been. if anyone can find any of the "fat" comments she's always talking about, please post screenshots here. i've yet to see any.
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I can’t see anything on tik tok either in regards to her being called fat or being too pale. I think the pale thing though is because her camera exposure setting is way too high with the ring light. Like yes, you’re pale, but we can’t see your nose which isn’t your complexions fault it’s the shitty camera work. This entire list is just shit she thinks about, not what people were actually saying at the time. I searched everywhere AT the time she claimed it was happening. Tbh I made the thread to find the people she was literally talking about in regards to her amnesia being faked because it did seem like she was lying. All of this just get out of MHA..
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Pic related to pale comments
kek maybe this was the one thing she wasn’t lying about, she does look like a nightmare.
But yeah tbh most people weren’t willing to actually question whether or not it was real, but everyone was thinking it. Her own fake accusations of people commenting on it when they really weren’t is what spearheaded this level of interest lol. Did it to herself
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Her content seems to get getting more and more childish. Makes me wonder if she really is faking it more than ever cause it pays the bills and not because she actually wants to be making content like this anymore. She probably wishes she could grow away from all this and make content that she actually wants to make, but sadly for her thats not why anyone watches her. They mostly watch her for her MHA content, but I think the other part is her and Rae and I feel like once that ship sinks, Nikki will sink too.
Nikki’s content is 2010 type Fujo bait except her and her friends have been doing it well into adulthood. It’s kinda strange seeing some people still in this phase. I mean seriously.. deathnote and black butler yahoo cosplay?!? Past 2014?
Also nikki is a unique cow in the sense that she’s watching this thread and actually taking advice kek, she changed her hair to her ginger look and is growing out her bangs.
just some experience as someone who used to watch nikki/rae on a regular basis;
when i was a teenager, i loved their content. i thought their personal videos (like grwm, girlfriend tags, etc) were cute. i didn't pay too much attention to their cosplay skits after a while because they got old very fast. but– from the very beginning, nikki has always seemed much younger than she actually is. she has always rejected responsibility. i think, as you've all said, she's using the amnesia thing to really "revert" back to her teenage self.
unfortunately, there's always going to be a market for the yaoi shit that she's known for. there are always gonna be 13/14 year olds who like watching those cringe videos. but with nikki trying to cosplay old things– black butler, death note, etc– she's not going to get the views that she used to. her income is inevitably going to decrease even more than it has been. and she will end up just like all the other mediocre cosplayers who have fallen off.
her BEST chance at getting past this, and i mean her BEST, is admitting her lies. if she came clean, she'd lose a lot of fans most likely, but at the very least she could start from scratch. make the cosplays she wants to make, and stop having to come up with all of these creative lies to cover her ass. the truth is gonna come out eventually, or her fans/other cosplayers are gonna start thinking that her '17 again' act is annoying.
sage for no new info. i just really don't see how she's gonna get out of this unscathed. soo many people are already suspicious, including fellow cosplayers.
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i know this is edited a bit with the beauty cam she uses, but with no eye makeup, and no greasy bangs, she looks INFINITELY better than she did before. if she would just stop overlining her lips and put on some gloss, that would take her up soo many levels. as awkward/weird as her face is at certain angles, i think she has the potential to be pretty (like she is here tbh), but she doesn't see that. she genuinely needs therapy, and i think she would strongly benefit from going. a lot of what she says/does just screams mental illness.
not saying she shouldn't be held responsible, because she definitely should. but i truly think if she just stopped with the lies that EVERYONE sees through, she would just feel so relieved, and she could start over.
i don't think she's a good person. but i think she deserves another chance. but the longer her amnesia charade goes on for, the less likely people are to forgive.
i just find it really interesting that she hasn't really been interacting with old cosplay friends on social media like she used to do in the past. one could blame it on the pandemic, but even in the middle of covid, she and rae were talking to people like akrcosplay on twitter, someone who they've cosplayed with before in the past. but those interactions stopped last year, around the time nikki developed "amnesia."
maybe it's just coincidence. not sure.
She sure seems conflicted about the reverting back thing though. Reason why I think this is because on her personal insta account, she often posts content that highly differs from her other accounts. I feel like what she posts on her personal insta is who she truly wishes to be seen as and thats why she has the account in the first place. I feel like the ‘reverting back’ is more like a facade because while she acts like a child in many regards, she certainly doesn’t want to be one or be seen that way in real life. It sounds like she is having a MAJOR identity crisis. Every day it’s something else. I get trying to find yourself, but don’t lie to everyone, even yourself to get there.
As long as she is making content for 13/14 year olds, she is always going to be catering to them so she can make a living and it’s easy to lie to teenagers online. I mean look at J. Star. So I figure as long as the lie still works, she will keep it up. Therefore when she pops online with some drastic change, she can say it’s because of her amnesia.
I honestly think people calling her ugly make no sense. She has problems, but ugly isn’t one of them. Everyone takes bad photos. Like go into your phone and tell me you ain’t ugly from time to time. I was not expecting the amount of comments calling her ugly whilst posting the worst possible photos of her. And yea sage because I know this is just opinion, but I find it cow-ish to call her ugly. Her actions, hell yes.
Everyone deserves a second chance, but Nikki would be far too fragile to tell the world she is a liar. She would say she has another disease and she’d end up right back here again. Idk maybe she’ll prove us all wrong.
this is an anonymous board made to make fun of cows who lie, cheat, and steal pathetically on the internet all for attention. Get with the program or leave.>>167384
That’s true, the content that actually gets marketed to her young audience is showing herself to be younger and cosplaying old trends/shows, but then her new post-amnesia alt Twitter and insta is just all aesthetics, fashion, and mature content. Tbh I think she knows that she’s out growing her old hobbies that pay the bills, but what can she do? They pay the bills.
I liked Rae and felt sympathetic for her (at first) but she’s really childish for her age too. And it doesn’t look like she’ll be slowing down anytime soon in terms of cosplay.
I wouldn't say she's 'ugly', but I don't think she's pretty either. Plain, if a little gaunt looking, at best, and she doesn't have the face shape for some of the cosplay she attempts (like Deku). But what really gets me is the way she says that she KNOWS she's 'conventionally attractive', as though that's just a fact. she says she has body dysmorphia, and that makes her see things in the mirror that aren't true, but she's aware of the real truth - that she's conventionally good looking, and to me that just smacks of thinly veiled narcissism. it's like SHE thinks she's all that, but nobody would ever comment about her supposed good looks because she's actually very plain, so she invents or exaggerates insecurities and criticisms from others about her looks, just to make her fans scramble to give her the compliments she thinks she deserves.
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like in my personal opinion, this is a great picture of her! very simple makeup, nice lighting. i think the thing about nikki that makes her unlikable is her narcissism. it's like she's always overcompensating for something (well, trying to at least), and i think she just comes off as very immature. at the end of the day, do i think she deserves a second chance? yes. but the longer she waits to reveal the truth, the less likely people are to forgive.
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“Cognitive rest” as Nicki continues to tweet, retweet, and like posts on Twitter lol.
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wanted to wait a bit before posting to see if she ever did log off but no, she never stopped using social media ever since she’s said she’d be on “cognitive rest.” You can see that she’s been liking tweets today, yesterday, and the day before. How is a stream screen intensive, but scrolling through Twitter isn’t?
The money is decent enough to keep a patreon going, but it’s pretty obvious she’s letting it go to shit intentionally.
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Is it just me or has she been borderline posting thinspo on her alt? It’s aesthetic photos that really make sure to show thigh size. Also she apparently wants to lose weight
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pic related to weight comment. >>140859
Maybe it wasn’t a typo when she said “I have chosen to have an eating disorder”
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why does she do this to her cheekbones for every single cosplay? it looks so bad. she's cosplaying meryl streep, meryl streep doesn't have dark, unblended streaks on the sides of her face in that movie.
she actually has the perfect face for this and didn’t need drag makeup to pull it off.
What’s worse about this whole video is that she’s doing an improvised critique of the outfits from demon slayer, and doing a terrible job of it. A script should have been made because these zingers are so bad.
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Can’t upload the vid rn, but please go and watch this video on nikki’s Twitter, it’s too fucking funny. Rae’s scream is like Kermit the frog yelling lel.
It’s interesting how no matter how much they both complain about people demanding canon vs fanon videos, they always end up making one. They’re dragging along the same viral video format they made like five years ago. They say they want adult fans and want to make adult/artsy content, but they’re still pulling out puppets for the kiddy pool.
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imagine saying this when matsuyama kenichi already played a great live-action L. he was so popular there were several sequels and pohotobooks. if anyone is the real life L, it's him.
correction that he is actually mixed, but still she can’t escape the horseface. >>171150
Always. It’s actually quite hard to find someone who has been doing makeup since they were in high school and who still can’t do their eyeliner. Like it’s a skill that really comes along with experience, which really shows how much she’s rushing it.
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I don't keep up with Nikki's tiktok, but as far as her cosplay & personal twitters go, she hasn't been talking much about the amnesia thing. Is it possible she's trying to distance herself from it?
Also, I'm so confused about her relationship with Rae. Is she just trying to pretend like she never said she wanted to break up/move out?
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Oh absolutely, just as I read your post I noticed this tweet. It went from “amnesia symptoms” to “concussion symptoms.”
That change in verbiage is very intentional.
So in the end everything was faked and she can go back to her "normal" life.
What a jackass.
i agree. i think SO many people were pointing out flaws with her medical synopsis, and so now she's trying to wiggle away from it. she seems to be going back to her normal life. things with rae seem fine, she's cosplaying again without complaining of too much "screen time," and doing photoshoots. it seems she's completely trying to put past what she did. it's insane to say but she'll actually get away with it. so sad.
i think this thread proves that she was lying. but the sad truth is no one is ever gonna confront nikki about that.
Oh without a doubt everyone around them knew it was a load of horseshit. But no one's willing to risk the callout shitshow that would follow. I mean hell >>153904
she made a video calling out us and a jab at >>146245
in the tweet. After that she likely looked up actual symptoms rather than using her student film as basis and realized she was fucked with how she was going on.
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lol why do they always make their assistant do these half assed cosplays. Somehow no matter who she cosplays, it just looks like her in a party city wig.
Also, holy crimson chin nikki
Yeah I think she’s quietly trying to distance herself from this because:
1. She realized she can’t make a living like this without Rae around
2. We found her amnesia short film which definitively proved she was larping
3. When you google her username, this thread is on the first page of results so anyone can see the evidence that she faked a traumatic brain injury