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No. 8364

why not?

No. 8368

I do have a job, but I pretty much make enough to live on and don't exactly have the desire to make more than that. I also have friends, but I don't really ever want to hang out with them. I prefer my social life being online. I spend most of my free time in my apartment.

If I could go full-blown hiki, I would, but I can't make much money from home without resorting to sex work. My hobbies other than the internet/imageboards are things like anime, manga, reading, tv, and cooking. Collecting anime figures can get kind of expensive at times but figures have a pretty good chance of resale in a similar price range so usually I can just sell one for money for a new one if I need it.

So I guess I'm kind of a shut-in. I hate the stigma that comes with it more than I hate it. I like being alone and always have.

Anyway, I'm a regular on this board and I feel like it's mainly female which would be kind of a nice change of pace from the shut-ins I usually talk to…I'm sure I'm not the only one here.

No. 8373

I don't really have any friends, and when I get the opportunity to make some, after about 1-4 days, I'm totally over it. Not that I dislike their personalities, but I would rather keep them at an arms length, not having to worry about waiting up for them, hanging out or replying to their messages. I don;t mind having a nice conversation in person, but afterwards I want to go home and just relax.

I wasn't always like this, it began when I got depression about 5 years ago. I dislike not having people to talk to, but I don't really want friends it seems. I like doing most things alone. Though when I hang out with people I just met and we end up connecting right away I become happy. Until about the 4th day as I mentioned earlier, and by that point I kind of start pulling back.

I always wonder if its a conscious effort on my part to avoid becoming disappointed or disappointing them due to the lack of a life I have.

People initially like me because of my personality but I don't have much to share about whats going on with me right now other than the fact that I'm in college and my plans for next yr.

I wish I could stay home 24/7 and work from here too.

No. 8374

I'd say I'm in NEET because I do go outside, but I'm always alone. I don't even remember how to socialize with people.

No. 8375

NEET means "not in employment, education, or training."

No. 8376

While I'm at it…

hikikomori= someone who cuts off all social contact to an extreme or unusual extent.

shut-in= a person who prefers seclusion or is confined to the indoors for whatever reason and often avoids social contact.

Usually any of these people do not work, but that's not exactly realistic often so they will work just enough to support themselves and spend the rest of their time as above.

This is not the same as someone who is just kind of a loner.

No. 8377

zz yeah, aside from the fact I have to work my shitty retail job, at any other time I stay indoors because I have bad social anxiety.

Right now I'm trying to be ambitious and learn some more programming, 3D rendering, and building my portfolio for digital art so I can get a work from home job. Or maybe build my own indie project and get it famous? I'd really just prefer to stay home all the time. Ah, a girl can dream.

I have a few low maintenance online friends so I'm not too lonely either.

No. 8379

I thought about doing some kind of training so I could work at home but I can't bring myself to. I started learning programming but gave up like a year ago. I'm such a baby. Any free time I have I'd rather just get online and shit like that rather than actually bettering myself.

I have been trying to think of something I can make that would get famous. Like an app or something. Can't though. All my online friends are pretty similar. They all kind of know that if they talk to me too much they'll run me off.

Also thought about starting a youtube channel but lol my life is so boring.

No. 8381

>when I got depression
Sorry anon, I don't really subscribe to the idea that you "get" depression, you just kind of have it. But not to detract from other stuff you said.

I tend to get overwhelmed being around people. There is a very short list of people I know irl that I like and I mainly talk to them online or via the occasional text. I don't like feeling obligated to people. It's easier to bail on online friends than real life people. It's also hard to explain to people that it's not them, it's me, without them thinking I'm trying to be nice.

I too wonder if it's because I've just been jaded by my personal relationships over the years, inevitably disappointed and not really interested in putting the effort to be interesting for others, thus remaining disappointing. Though there are people who miraculously think I'm interesting.

A lot of people simply just don't understand social anxiety or depression or the strain it puts on relationships, or why it can't just be turned off. Even with meds it's fairly hopeless (in my case). I'm pretty much only interested in 2d and the internet.

No. 8382

Oh dude, I'm the same way. When my BFF left I was so devastated and lonely. Now I don't even feel lonely anymore and hardly have any interest in socializing.

No. 8434

I'm NEET (on disability) so, I basically have unlimited free-time. But, since my anorexia relapse, I mostly don't allow myself to socialize. I don't let myself drink very often because of the calories and I avoid get-togethers involving food at all costs. Just going over to a friend's house to watch tv is difficult at this point since it interferes with my eating schedule.

No. 8435


Be honest though, if you met someone who felt the same way. Would you want to socialize with them even if you had things in common?

I feel like, people are becoming more and more less social.

No. 8436

I should really take my own advice and this is cheesy as fuck but I say, get back into that training or programming, anon! It takes talent and luck to make money off of it but if you're doing nothing else and wasting your life anyway it can't hurt to try.

Try making something small first. If you're interested in games look into Unity. Theres reddit app developing boards and game dev boards that can help you out too. Ads from mobile apps can eventually make you money and satisfaction.

No. 8437

So… how do you guys feel about the trend of kawaii 14 year olds claiming they're NEET/hikikomori/etc?

No. 8438

I'm pretty much a shut-in because of my social anxiety.. I have a hard time talking to anyone outside of my immediate family. When I get nervous my entire body trembles uncontrollably, it's so embarrassing.
I feel like such an asshole for wasting my health and my youth because I'm afraid of people.

No. 8439

I've always been quite a shy person, I don't like crowded places but I do talk, I can be chatty depending what topic it is. I like smiling and I like to laugh. But I am reserved, I don't always want a conversation and I do prefer silence, being by myself a lot. I do have some anxiety, hence why I quit my retail job. I just couldn't do it anymore, I woke up one day last November and I said to myself "I don't want to go", instead I got dressed and went out for a coffee while work rang me numerous times.

I do work, just an evening cleaning job and run an online shop. I start university again in September, I'll be working while studying. So it's no problem money wise since I'm at home and not in dorms.

But I do stay around in my room a lot more than going out. I'm pale as fuck, my skin is naturally tanned and it's paling. My mother says it's because I don't go out enough nor do I get enough sleep at night. I sleep in too much, it's not good. Somedays I don't even want to get out of bed, I just cry and get angry with myself.

I don't even keep in touch with many friends. I don't know how to make them anymore. People from my course, not my type. I can only seem to rely on people who are online these days. It's so sad. I just think I'm a waste of space sometimes.

No. 8444

…I used the term "got depression" because it wasn't until specific events happened within a a series of a few months that I became depressed. It completely changed my outlook on life, myself and others. My personality did a 180 as well, to this day my personality is not as lively or positive as it once was. To go from a very enthusiastic, positive and motivated individual to one that tries to commit suicide, something I had never considered before nor supported as a last result to escape ones misery, is a huge change that resulted from my depression.

So thats why I use the term "got depression," especially because it wasn't something common in my family at all. I highly doubt I had a higher susceptibility for it and the right events brought it forward. I've had worse things happen in the past but did not become depressed from those.

No. 8445

Not that anon, but it's strange, I don't get along well with people who are most similar to me. I think its because I look down on a lot of people who are like that. I see them as not being capable of being social or getting ahead in life as opposed to choosing to be that way, and even as a choice it comes off as a negative one.

No. 8448

Do any others here want to start a skype group or something? I've cut out everyone else from my life, except my husband. No one else ever understood that I didn't want to talk to them constantly. Maybe we can find sufficient social interaction in each other, without anyone demanding too much? We must share some interests. We're on an imageboard with quite a particular user base, after all.

No. 8449

i'm a shut-in. i can't even maintain online relationships. i go to work and school though, but any opportunity i have i stay at home.

im really self-conscious and have BDD so im always very scared of showing my face/body in public. even going to the store makes me scared.

during the time off i have i watch netflix and brose imageboards, and read the news. i sleep a lot and i clean.

i wish i had a hobby like video games. i wanted to get into WoW but i feel like it's too late for me to make any friends ever.

No. 8450


also i wanna say that i've been in school for 3 years now and i've only spoken to one person and my professors. thats it. lol. i'm so fucking retarded it hurts.

No. 8451

It's annoying because they really don't know what it means. You really can't be hikikomori until you're an older teen at least in most countries because you have to go to school until you're able to drop out. It is not so strange that it has become kind of glamourized though in a weird way I guess.

I would be down for this.

No. 8452



Friends, in your twenties. You know, I feel down sometimes because it's a time where you're supposed to be young and free. But it doesn't seem that way to me. Everyone has their own thing, own friends, own hobbies. I feel like it's too late to bother, like I'm some kind of disturbance. Just someone who gets in the way. So I just push others away, it's easier. Plus, I feel like getting to know people is a fucking chooooooreeeeeee.

Relationships? pfft.

What's that?

No. 8453

I am the same way. I feel like everyone is judging me when I go in public even though I rationally know they aren't. I either go to the store either very late or very early when no one's there and I can't interact with others more than a very surfacy conversation without sperging hard. Even asking how someone is doing leaves me with a feeling of immense regret for speaking that stays with me for days.

It sucks. I only talk to people when I have to.

No. 8454

yeah i only go to stores with self checkouts now. in my city they do this 10% off on tuesday if you show student ID to the cashier, and i just dont do that because i can't talk to cashiers. it's like a nightmare.

waiters too. i haven't eaten out in like 2 years, i only go when my family absolutely forces me. talking to waiters is like the death of me.

on the internet its hard too. only when im anonymous do i feel comfortable.

it also sucks because im getting older, and i feel like im aging, and that is an added insecurity. i'm assuming everyone here is a bit older too? idk. i just feel so out of touch because everyone i know is either 18 or acting like they're 18

No. 8455

Fucking same. I am entering my late twenties officially and I feel like I wasted my time. I feel jealous of these people who went to live in Japan but I know if I went I would just stay in my room and watch anime and wat instant food, like I do in America, so why spend the money? Why make an effort?

All my residual friends (or whatever) are moving/getting marries/getting lives and I'm just spending all my money on PVC figures and all my time on imageboards. I don't even really feel the need to replace them, my internet friends kind of fill the void.

Same anon you replied to, I will be 26 in a few weeks.

Getting older and still living this life is a bit surreal sometimes.

No. 8456


There is still time if you wanted to go and live in Japan. Can't you go back to school or if you have, get some qualifications so you could teach there? You're still pretty young. Late twenties or not.

I think it's true you know, corny as it sounds. You can be old at any age and feel the youngest when you're like, 85 and happy.

But yeah… I am secretly envious of my friend who recently came out as lesbian. Well, she's known her girlfriend for four years through DA and they met last week for the first time. I don't even know why I'm a little jealous because it's not like, major? Might be to her, but to me it's a little… I guess I'm just saddened that I haven't yet had a proper relationship. I've liked people but nothing. I don't let anyone in, I give up on people right after they've given up on me. I don't know how. I don't know what to do and I fear dating someone, that I'd just be useless. I'd have to go out with someone who knows what they're doing. Jesus, I'm terrible at showing affection.

When I was little… I was so cuddly. I remember, I used to love kissing my family and squeezing them, even during my early teens. Now, I'm cold as fuck. I don't even like being touched. I have a skin picking disorder too, another turn off. It's getting warmer here in the UK, last week I wore this sleeveless top and people I pick at my arms when I get heat spots (gag I know) and I have plenty of scars. She touched my arm and I just flinched, literally. Then she got pissed off because I flinched. I just walked off.

But the picking thing… another story. I'm past caring anyway.

Yeah, a lot of people I know from school at 22 are already having babies and getting hitched pretty young. God… I can't picture that life for myself. It's too grown, too much. I don't think I'd be ready for that.

Internet friends are good… But… It's not enough anymore for me.

No. 8458

lol I'm grateful to live in nyc only because most people don't ask you how you're doing or start a convo with you unless its the cashier, and even then it's "did you find everything ok?"

then again, I hate living here because I've constantly been told that there are 123456789 different things I could do and people to meet. Thing is that most things are not what I'm interested in. The most I would probably stand for company is 1 person, and it would be at like a movie or sitting at the park, laying down, listening to music. Other than that I'd like to be home.

If I could find friends that would be willing to come over, lay in bed and watch/read shit together with minimal talking, I'd keep them for life.

No. 8459

I dont feel too old to go to Japan or whatever, I just feel like it would be a waste cause I would do the same thing I do here. And teaching English lol don't make me laugh.

I have no desire to become more social or "well-adjusted." I have accepted this life and don't dislike it.

I want those friends too. To be content just sitting indoors and occasionally leaving me alone for a while.

No. 8460


Was just trying to be nice. But fair enough.

No. 8473

Sorry, I wasn't trying to be rude. I just get a bit dickish sometimes.

No. 8474

I'm good at pixel art/art in general so I was trying to make a pixely like game but it was just so confusing and I really didn't know where to start man. I really want to make it but I need someone to at least tell me how to start off with it, because I didn't understand wtf people were talking about in forums and shit. It seems so hard!! :'c

No. 8481


"so hard" girl i swear 2 god i will slap u … make the game!!!!! I'm trying to make my own pixel game right now and this tumblr post has a good little list of resources http://creategames.tumblr.com/post/101251138683/how-to-create-your-first-game[Archived Copy]

i recommend construct 2 or game maker cause you mostly just drag and drop shit. (game maker is more popular and old)

thenn look up videos like this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7bAmzbPVVRY

or for construct: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iy4yV9HdsLU

though i dont really know how you were learning before o: it'll definitely take some practice anon!

No. 8482

I'm 21 I don't have a job, can't drive, and I hardly leave my house even though people try to hang out with me and stuff. I've never had a boyfriend and i'm a virgin which makes me feel like a weirdo. I lie about my age so people will think I am less of a loser which only works because I look younger. I've been prescribed with depression meds but I don't take them because I can't feel anything when I do and I hate when I can't cry. I am obsessed with time and age and feel like I haven't done enough for being 21. Which makes me hate myself more. I want to die and I cut myself. The only thing i'm good at is art but I never finish anything….so yea this just turned into a diary post sorry :/.
Guess I would be considered a shut in/neet.

No. 8484

lol ok i'll start the project up again I guess. Thanks for the links. Also, how did you know I was a girl! haha.

No. 8487

yay good luck to the both of us! and well I mean…everyone here is a girl unless said otherwise right

No. 8488

No. 8489

I’m a total shut-in loser. I haven’t had RL friends since middle school, and I only have one online friend and we’re growing apart because they’re turning crazy/becoming a SJW. I can’t talk to people in person and can barely muster the courage to talk to people online. Have never had a romantic relationship ever.

Some days I’m super lonely, other days I’m really thankful I don’t have to maintain relationships because it seems really stressful and nerve-wracking. I go through periods where I accept and enjoy total solitude but other times I want actual friends, even if it’s just online.

I don’t mind leaving the house and would like to do it more, but I hate dealing with people (and am also terrible at it). Luckily I’ve been able to do some online work so I’m being somewhat useful.

I’m an old fart compared to most people here (I think) so I feel like a total failure. Some days it bothers me but other days I just don’t care and I’ve accepted and embrace my loser status.

No. 8490

Same boat (everything), cept I'm 23.

No. 8492

be my friend

No. 8494

Okay anon, I can do that. I don't have any friend in the same boat as me either. I don't know how to give you my info without sacrificing my anonymity though.

No. 8504

File: 1433758507810.gif (10.27 KB, 65x65, tumblr_static_th_01.gif)

Different anon, a throwaway email could work.

Also fuck, I wish I could give you all a hug.

I get along with people pretty good, I never get any close friends though. Its never been as bad as anyone here…all I really can say is I hope things look up and you can find contentment.

Always focus on yourself, never compare yourself to others. Strive to improve, but baby steps. Anything can be improvement. Its hard but possible, and you can do it.

Also, a suggestion for a group call thing: maybe try Teamspeak? How I've socialized for the last 2-3 years has been in a Teamspeak some friends I've made host. Only thing is someone has to host it or rent a server.

No. 8509

How about a chat (eg tinychat)?

No. 8510

I'm a lesbian but I am never coming out. It is so scary and more people would hate me, like my parents are all i have.

Japan sounds nice but I probably would never be able to have fun even if I got to go because i hate being around people and prefer the comfiness of my home

No. 8511

i lie about my age too. im 21 and i say im 20. im obsessed with age and looking younger than i am because i also feel like i havent done enough and im just starting my life

No. 8523


same but im bi

No. 8524

Anyone else in the "I kinda don't want to change this" boat?

No. 8525

I'm in the "want to want to change this boat".

No. 8526

I'm slowly getting back into the real world again. But my back pains are increasing again, I've been suffering with them for three years now. I've been to the hospital and tried sports, nothing works… I just want to haul myself in my room again, not go out and just sleep. The only time I feel better is when I sleep.

No. 8534

I have mixed feelings. Sometimes I want to change, but then I’m forced to deal with people and realize how much I enjoy being by myself and doing whatever I want.

No. 8538

This is the same with me. I used to be pretty social but it was forced and usually fueled by alcohol. Once the alcohol stopped, it stopped being tolerable. I am forced to interact with people to an extent at work, and I'm fairly good at faking it. When I do make myself go out, which is rare, I realize I can't have a real conversation, I realize I really dislike people, and I realize I'd rather be at home online. Then I stay inside a few more months again.

No. 8543

Sometimes I run into genuinely nice people which I am glad are alive on this planet. I just realize I'm ok with not being able to be friends with them even if I changed. It either feels like I'm not missing out or like I totally miss out on _something_ I didn't figure out yet.
Same with any kind of relationship or social status related stuff. I wish I could make my mind up and finally decide if I want to be alone and live a loser life or want to have a somewhat 'normal' life.

No. 8545


No. 8549

I'm a NEET. I wish I was normal. I really do. I cry about it a lot. It hurts really bad. But I don't think I can change. I don't go out much because I'm afraid people are staring at me for the way I look. I view myself as repulsive and often feel like I'm being stared at by people who want me to go home so they don't have to look at me. When people are laughing I think they are laughing at me.

I think that men won't like me because I'm not pretty enough or thin enough. Because I don't like the right things. So I'm foreveralone. I've tried to pretend to be outgoing and friendly and it almost killed me to get through it. It's a facade I can't keep up long. So I decided it was a bad idea.

All my life I've felt distanced from everyone. Like I was in a screened in porch while everyone was outside. I could see and hear them and they could see and hear me, but we couldn't interact much because I was fenced in away from everyone else. Even with friends I felt like I was just kind of there. When included in things I felt like a ghost instead of an active member of the group. I felt like I wasn't a part of anything. I can't really form attachments to people. I don't really feel love or comraderie or solidarity. Everything seems really detached and fleeting. If I don't see you for awhile I won't even miss you. It's really strange to people so I stopped trying to discuss it with my family. They didn't understand. Sometimes they got mad at me because they thought I was being mean or cold. So it discouraged me from getting any real help.

It almost feels like i'm a product that was manufactured with missing parts. The parts weren't broken. They didn't fall out of the box. They were just never placed inside. It's a manufacturers's defect.

It's like I'm in some other part of reality just kind of existing with people. i'm here but I'm not with you. I'm not a part of your world. I feel like I don't belong. So I distance myself from everyone because I believe it's for the best.

It kind of hurts that i'll always be a foreveralone. No one will want me because I may not be able to forge any real connection. i'd like to try though. But I'm not sure it would work out.

Part of me really wants to be normal and have all the stuff everyone gets to have. I get really irritated when I see people being ungrateful for the stuff they do have. They don't realise some people would do anything to even have those things. When girls complain about their boyfriends I think to myself "You don't realise how lucky you are that anyone wants you at all."

I have narrow interests and I'm not outgoing or fun. So I can't really keep anyone entertained. I'm not even enthusiastic about sharing my own interests. I'm really boring. My only real interest right now is video games. But I mostly like old and obscure Japanese stuff. Everyone seems to be into the AAA stuff now. So If I bring up games with someone we most likely aren't going to gel right.

No. 8551

this entire thread is great. only in a first world country can this shit happen, proving that even those given every opportunity can still manage to accomplish absolutely nothing

No. 8552

I can totally relate to a lot of what you said, anon. I feel like an alien who doesn’t understand how humans work, and most people treat me as such. People seem really uncomfortable with me because I’m boring as shit and awkward, so most of the time they just act like I’m not there (even my own relatives).

I also have pretty narrow and mildly obscure interests (not video games though) and am not really into anything popular so it’s difficult to make even online friends. I can’t even imagine trying to make RL friends that most certainly have nothing in common with me.

No. 8555

File: 1433804564539.gif (998.53 KB, 350x250, ya.gif)

No. 8561

>How about a chat

Here you are anon.



Someone can make a hiki channel, or just a general channel for socializing, or whatever you like.

No. 8570

No. 8585

I'm curious as to how many shut ins here have had a significant other longer than a year. Since it seems many here are in their twenties and feel lonely.

No. 8599

My longest relationship was 9 months but it was long distance. Other than that my relationships (if I have them) tend to fizzle out within a couple of months if tha. Been single about 2 years.

No. 8600

I've had a couple relationships last longer than a year in the past, but over the last year I've become much, much more reclusive. I am actually seeing someone right now, but I really don't see it lasting that long.

No. 9157

almost a year, but it's ldr, and it's ending now. he hates me now. that's the way things seem to go. he's my only friend. i'll be back to zero, and i think i'm done speaking to people entirely after this.

No. 9176

My longest relationship was a yr and 3 months, and then we were on and off again for about another yr.

No. 9180

I've never had one…….pathetic.

No. 9183

I held hands with a boy when I was 12, that's about it.

No. 9197

I'm currently in a 2 year relationship, but we don't see each other too often because he's in a band that tours a lot, doesn't have a car, and he works a lot.

You're not pathetic, anon. Honestly, I feel like relationships are really overrated. I used to be like you before I got into a relationship. I thought it would fix all of my problems and it didn't fix anything at all. If anything, I think it gave me more problems.

No. 9200

How do you even get on disability?

No. 9207

By being mentally and physically disabled. Anorexia can be a mental disability and cause physical disabilities

No. 9370

I'm on disability for mental illness that, at this point, prevents me from working. It's not actually related to the anorexia, since that relapse was after I was approved. My benefits are primarily related to anxiety and borderline.

No. 9376


I gave up trying relationships or trying to get one. It's just effort, most people I've ever met… I've YET to feel that 'spark' with anyone. I'm beginning to think it doesn't even exist. Love happens, but just not for me.

No. 9377

Currently in 2 year relationship. Though he's a shut in as well so we really understand each other. We also went to school together from preschool to high so we have a lot of memories of the same places/people and even with each other. Ever since we moved in together it's only gotten stronger because we keep each other company but also are completely fine doing our own thing by ourselves. It's really awesome and I'm very lucky to have him.

Sorry for rambling, I just love him alot.

No. 9378


It's harder nowadays, no one talks. You've got to know people to know people, you've got to go out and make an effort or look a certain way or be a certain way, you've got to make time, you've got to have interests. Know things, have done things. Otherwise you're just boring.

To be honest, I was always that friend who would just linger with people I thought were my friends. Despite having SOME things in common with them. I learnt to accept that I'm just not an outspoken person, my interests are limited, I don't know much about the latest pop stars or tv shows. I've come to just, be happy with being me. A boring fuck, but I have interests just ones people I've met don't have.

I like doing things my way, in a certain way and take my time with things. I no longer feel like… I need to impress anybody. I just stopped caring anon, I did. At 21 I reflected on myself and thought "why do I even give a shit anyway?" I don't know why I didn't stop caring all those years ago.

If a friend comes, then a friend comes and if they stay then I'll try to adjust, make it work and let them in. But if nobody does, then I'll just keep moving forward in life. It can get lonely but I always tend to come out of it fine.

No. 9445

Thanks everyone for the replies, it's very interesting to hear what you all have to say. I am also curious as to the ages of many of you since some have said they have never had a significant other and wonder if it is because of age. But that's a bit weird to be surveying lol

Besides lolcow how many of you are into games/anime/shows/whatever. I noticed many claim to have little to no hobbies. Does this mean you only surf the web and stay on lolcow or?

No, it's not rambling. It's nice to hear that other anons are happy. I'm introverted and so is my significant other so I definitely understand the "I need to be alone" thing.

It's similar for me, I just don't understand people who all meet out of nowhere and somehow get along. As I don't know what to talk about with most and really don't relate to the way most people think or feel. I have to have a hobby in common or something. I'm also critically boring! It seems to be a common factor in people who fear other people lol
But maybe we just don't have a healthy view of ourselves.

It's not pathetic, anon. A relationship is not really worth something unless it's a good one and that can take time to find. I know a few who are in their mid twenties and have not yet been in a relationship.
>>9197 Makes a good point.

No. 9451

I'm >>9377
I have hobbies. I play a lot of video games, enjoying watching anime/tv shows/movies. But I also enjoy reading, gardening and creative things like drawing, painting and prop making. I guess because I spend so much time at home and pretty much have no friends, I have a lot more time for things like that.

No. 9481

I don't think that "spark" really exists tbh. Idk, I never exactly felt any sort of spark with my bf, when I first met him, I just thought he was attractive, and I got with him because we're both like best friends. My parents' relationship is a lot like that as well and they've been together a lot longer than anyone else I know of. Idk where I'm going with this, what I'm basically saying is I don't think you should worry about what books/tv/music/etc says about love and just try to find someone who you're attracted to and you enjoy being around.

I'm >>9197 and while I do spend way too much time on the computer, I do study Japanese, play video games, bake, needlepoint, makeup, sew/make my own clothes, play 2 instruments, and I knit/crochet things. I find it strange someone wouldn't have any sort of hobbies when they live like this. But then again, the internet is really addicting and I only really do the things that I can do on while the computer.

No. 9511

Lol same I am 21 but say I'm 19.

No. 9955

Why do male hikikomori and shut-in communities have such an elitist boys-only attitude toward it?

I think the fact that they view women as mystical creatures incapable of feeling socially uncomfortable etc is part of their problem…

I know on other boards/in other shut-in groups I tend to refrain from sharing my gender, maybe I'm part of the problem.

How do those who are living the truhikki/NEET life (no job no school) support yourselves? Just bum off parents? Inheritance? Drug money?

I'm curious. I've always had to work some kind of job to have a room to hole up in. When I was in school I just used school money for living expenses.

No. 10049

>I find it strange someone wouldn't have any sort of hobbies when they live like this.
I feel like an idiot because I really have no hobbies outside of watching anime and doing stupid shit online like browsing image boards and looking at clothes. I'm too depressed to have the motivation to do anything, mainly because nothing brings me any joy at all. All I do is mindless scrolling on my laptop and I hate myself for it, and I want to change so badly but everything feels like such a chore. ;_;

At least this thread has made me feel way less alone when it comes to being a friendless hikki.

No. 285216


No. 286667

If I'm not at classes then I'm in my room. The concept of going out places is totally alien to me.

No. 286691

So many people that post in these kinds of threads who go to work and school daily. You are introverted and either want to be alone, or do not want to put the effort into socializing, you are not a shut-in or hikikomori. Not even "kind of." The whole point of being a NEET, shut-in, or hikikomori is that your condition is detrimental to functioning in normal society. If you are working consistently you are socially functional enough to be considered normal.

No. 286701

>If you are working consistently you are socially functional enough to be considered normal.
This legit makes me feel better even though I've never posted in this thread. Thank you.

No. 286710

That's how you should feel. Most of the time, being a NEET means you are dysfunctional, cannot take care of yourself, and cannot interact with others. If you have the means to support yourself without working, it can be great, it means virtually unlimited free-time to learn whatever skills and foster whatever hobbies you want. However most NEETs are not like that. They are constantly worrying over maintaining the lifestyle too much to put the time to good use. They have no applicable skills. Any social skills you once had have been deteriorated by avoiding people. It is a very stressful thing. That's why it's so ridiculous why many people say "I work and go to school but I'm almost totally almost a NEET hikikomori tee hee!" It is not something to romanticize.

No. 319465

i'm 22 years old and i'm a NEET for a few months now. i'ts getting worse because i feel so guilty and depressed. I've been having more suicidal thoughts and no matter what, i can't take the first step to seek help because i feel so ashamed. In my head everyones is laughing at me and think i'm pathetic. i have a inferiority complex and because of that i find it hard to even apply for a simple job as a stock clerk. i have almost 0 human contact. i'm very isolated and sometimes it feel so unreal like i'm dreaming.

my mom doesn't say anything or pressure me to do something. she's sympathetic because a few months ago she found out that as a child i was being sexually abused by my dad.

No. 319472

Hey anon, I am also 22 but just got a job after 2-3 months of not even applying due to various reasons. The first paragraph is me to T, I have not had human contact except things like at the store or my mom (who also did not pressure me to get a job). I interacted fine at my interview but am still really scared about starting.

The things that helped me was realising that although I think "everyones is laughing at me and thinks i'm pathetic" no one thinks about it except me. My brother is probably the only person who jokes about me, but I put it down to him having a pretty pathetic outlook on life (money/materialism = happiness). Basically, the only people who would judge like that are probably not anyone whose opinions you should care about.

For interviews, this is lame but I do a superhero pose before I leave my room and also remind myself about all the good qualities I have. I don't feel bad about a job if I don't get it because you don't have to see them again so there is not really a reason to be too self-conscious. Also, if you're applying to a job, then you mostly have the skills for it (sometimes there are things that can be learnt).

I also, read and try to practice stoicism (a philosophy) as best as I can. Here is a starting point:

Understanding the way that you are (the negatives I mean) is through terrible circumstances but you can change, and that over time people won't even remember/care this "old" version of you. That's what I am hoping to do.

Lastly, I am very sorry what happened to you, I hope you heal, learn and unlearn all the things you need to. I send lots of love through the sky to where ever you are.

No. 319481

you sound kind of pretentious and arrogant. sorry but i don't think anyone should take advice from you. especially since a job just fell into your lap. you're not at NEET anymore so fuck off.

No. 319499

I'm almost 22 and have been a NEET for 1.5 years. ever since i graduated it has been hell. i have lost weight, lost interest, friends and positive look on anything. i was admitted to a psych ward after a botched suicide attempt and since then i haven't left my house for other than buying snacks, going to the psych ward on and off and drinking myself to sleep. i don't think i'll ever be comfortable in a job with my anxiety just fucking up my entire life, but hopefully i can find a job that requires zero human contact and i just can go around and clean/file/look after something. i wouldn't mind never leaving the house ever again. i don't trust people to not hurt me all the times.

No. 319504

i have been a neet for 4 years now, ive only left the house once after stabbing my neck with a kitchen knife to the hospital
i haven't talked to anyone outside my mother
i didn't finish hs
i want to work and get better, but i am so afraid to even be seen
i developed anorexia over the years
i don't wish to live like this forever and don't wish to die anymore

No. 319508

Fair enough view, didn't mean to come across that way - lc isn't really for me ngl

Also thought the post was in a vent thread didn't know it was a neet thread. Oops

No. 319572

There was nothing wrong with her post, she was being encouraging and it's not her fault you're bitter that she got a job.

No. 319573

Just wanted to say you did NOT sound arrogant nor pretentious

No. 319586

What's your problem cunt

No. 319588

Lmao you sound bitter af Anon. Chill out, she was being super encouraging and her advice was fine. No need to be a cunt.

No. 319590

>>after stabbing my neck with a kitchen knife

No. 319592

I'm 19, I have been sort of a shut in for about 2 years now. I did my senior year of high school at home and finished late because I got really depressed. I moved this year so all my friends are online now. I don't have a steady job yet or license but I took this dog sitting job to get out of the house some. I hope to start college in spring and make some irl friends so I don't just sit in my dark room all day doing useless things.

No. 320578

I had a neet period after high school of 1 year and a half. I would play games, draw and watch cartoons till 6 am. I was anorexic, lacked social skills (still kinda do…), had some disastrous eye bags and could barely speak my native language, so used I was to talk and write english online. I did some furry commissions to keep going, but then had to find an actual job. Now I have the opposite problem, and became completely dependent to my work routine. I had a week off last month and I felt so fucking sad waking up at whatever hour, procrastinating my time.

No. 320583


I'm similar, anon. I want a social life but after work I'm always so tired that all I want to do is get into bed, watch Netflix, and do nothing. I don't know how to motivate myself to go out and be social.

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