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No. 754000
I've recently come into terms that I'll be staying with my mom for much longer than what I anticipated. I live in latin america and for me, being a woman living with your parents is not something necessarily bad, since our families usually tend to be bigger and we tend to live with more people at home (grandma, grandpa, aunts, you could even live with your husband and kid in the same household as your mom if she lets you).
My mom is a sweet 56 year old woman that has scoliosis and was abused by my dad so I feel like I should be there for her. I used to want to run far away from home as early as I could because both my parents were extremely toxic and anxiety inducing, but my dad died and my mom has calmed down quite a lot. So now I feel super comfy with her. Maybe one day I'll move out to another city, and that's something I'm looking fowards to, but maybe not for the time being. If I marry my european e-boyfriend I'll move out too of course. But instead of thinking and beating myself up for staying at my childhood home, I'm trying to live my best and give some company to my momma, I love her and she loves my company too. I wish the internet wasn't so american-centric sometimes, since it's not always bad to stay at home.
No. 754022
>>754004Usually people who bitch about people living at home come in two categories
1. They're jealous because their family doesnt give a shit about them or is too broke/unbearable to live with
2. Tone deaf rich people whose parents pay their rent or other living expenses. They can still throw around how independent and grown up they are while avoiding to mention the fact their parents are paying their rent.
No. 754029
>>754022also
3. Have nothing going on in their lives so have to find the one thing they have that other people might not
No. 754030
>>754022I was going to disagree and say “people who have moved out definitely don’t all think this,” but then reread and realized you said that it applies to people who
care about others who still live at/moved back home, so you may be onto something. Idk. I don’t give a shit about what people do and in fact would love to save money by living at home, but it’s unfeasible plus my relationship with my parents has improved with distance.
>>754021Nta but true, my mom is Filipino and all of her family back home still lives with/extremely near each other, extended family included. It’s beautiful and the norm just about everywhere else. It’s so interesting that this is a thread, that in mind.
No. 754033
>>754004once i posted some mundane rant about how my mom had done something (harmless) with my food and the only response i had was shaming me for "bragging" about having a cushy life at home. 'muricans are particularly weird about still living at home as an adult, i guess because in their culture the second you turn eighteen your parents kick you to the curb and you're expected to fend for yourself with no help.
i still live at home because i live in ass backwards latin america where jobs are hard to come by, let alone one that allows you to move out and stay out. i'm still in college so i'll probably start working once i get that out of the way, but i actually do want to move out even if i live comfortably with my parents.
it's not at all uncommon or unheard of in my country - in fact most low-to-middle class folks in their early 20's still live at home but are independent in every other sense. most people move out with friends/a partner, i don't know anyone around my age who can afford to 100% live alone. everyone understands how expensive it is to move out and live alone and with our economy in the crapper + the pandemic fucking us over many people who DID have funds to move out had to put their plans in the back burner. sadly i know many of them.
No. 754045
> Why do you still live with your parents?
I'm still in uni, never had a stable job and here it's extremely difficult to support yourself economically, even as a professional. With the pandemic, there aren't many job offers and my parents and I put my education as a priority. My degree will take a minimum of 6 years (+ a master's) and I'm studying a lot to get it in a shorter time, if I start working is kind of impossible
> Do you like living with your parents? What are your personal downsides or upsides?
I like it. I'm very grateful for having my own room, a nice backyard and even a pool for the summer. The neighbourhood is also nice, and here I can live with my dogs.
The downsides are obviously not being 100% free, my parents knowing everything I do and witnessing their discussions which are exhausting at least.
I do want to leave but I'm appreciating this time, the daily moments, with them.
> Is it acceptable on your culture to still live with your parents?
I feel like older people expect the young to leave home at 22 at most. But it's just not real, with this economy, the rental prices and the employment situation. But it's not something very strict either, people accept it
> Do you contribute anything on your household?
I do 99% of the household chores and cook almost everytime. It's the least I can do
No. 754050
>>753987I'll be 27 soon and I live with my parents right now. The reasons why are that we were poor for a very long time, and once I started studying I found out I could study what I wanted in my city because the university has an excellent reputation. My scholarship wasn't even enough to rent even a shoe box and whenever I looked for a part time job I was rejected or ignored by companies because of my insanely fucked up schedule in uni and the sheer number of job seekers compared to jobs. Once I finally got a job it was during my last year of masters and by then my scholarship was so low I just ended up earning the same amount of money as the previous years anyway. I needed to do a 6 months long internship and nobody wanted to hire me for a long time, and once I found one my parents bought an apartment for very cheap thanks to insane luck so I gave up and just saved my money.
Once I graduated I looked for a fulltime job but it didn't work out because, again, the job market was already fucked, so I went to Japan on a working holiday visa, and because of covid I was so sick for several months I thought I would die, so I went back home to recover once I was sure I couldn't be contagious anymore. So I lived by myself for just six months. I have a job now, so I'm saving money as much as I can before moving out of my parents' place. I can't stand living with them, I have no private life whatsoever and they've been trying to ruin all my plans in life just so I could stay and they could control me and check if I'm not committing sins. If things go well I should have enough money to move out in like 3 months at the earliest.
No. 754058
File: 1614882983422.jpeg (29.59 KB, 376x350, 60F02970-3FCE-49A3-BF35-63CCB8…)
Isn’t it obvious why people still live at home with their parents? Mainly for financial reasons. If I had the money and established credit to move out, I would be gone by tomorrow. I’m not a distinguished or accomplished person and I’m only 18, and getting a job is really hard even at a little fast food joint. I’m currently in community college because I do not want to take out loans and I genuinely feel lost. People lie to say it’s fine to stay with your parents but burger culture says otherwise, you’re stereotypically supposed to “leave the nest” at my age but that clearly isn’t even an option for a lot of younger adults. It amazes me and makes me jealous how women manage to move out early and I’m still a loser. Sorry for the blogging but some kind of void is eating out my mind, because it’s like fate for me just eventually end my life because I can’t obtain employment or even feel fulfilled with what major I chose.
No. 754063
>>754033I'm
>>754000 and I hate how americans think their shit applies to the rest of the world so much
Sad thing is in latin american countries, whatever americans say they copy it. This is why sailorfag is a thing now I fucking hate this
No. 754066
>>754050Forgot to answer that one
>> Is it acceptable on your culture to still live with your parents?I don't think it's a big issue overall in my country, but the specific countries where my parents come from are muslim (way more moderate than in the middle east though) so young women are supposed to live with their family until they're married. Not sure if that's still a big thing back there compared to before though and I'm sure there's a big difference between small villages and big cities with universities and job opportunities. My parents don't give a fuck if we move out as long, or so I thought until my mother had a mental breakdown when I moved to the other side of the planet. My sisters don't live very far away from home so they come here whenever they can and when they don't want to cook their own food.
Though my big sister was called a whore by another
moroccan coworker because she lives alone without being married. She's not even living with a bf or male flat mates, she's completely alone so I don't get it.
No. 754085
I live with my parents because despite graduating college I work low wage jobs and the standard of living in my city is obscenely high. My parents don't ask me to pay rent or any utilities because they want me to save up money (already finished paying off my student loans and just pay for my own credit card bill and shit now) and I'm so grateful for it. Since COVID hit and I was the only one with a job since I was allowed to wfm, I gave them a few thousand to cover rent and bills. I'm a little nervous to move out because I view myself as their last resort piggy bank, and moving out would mean having less money to help them out when they really need it. It's not on me to act like a last resort, but I have a good relationship with my parents and the thought of them going homeless fucks me up.
It sucks that I have no privacy since they'll just barge into my room at any time and will give me shit when I tell them not to do that, and it's even worse because I can't close my door since my dog free roams the house all day. Their bedroom door is kept open for the same reason lol. We have door curtains so I get a tiny bit of privacy but that's about it. This isn't usually a problem though, but it does get a little annoying when my mom walks into my room and just stands there staring at my computer screen not saying anything.
Sometimes I do feel ashamed that I haven't moved out yet, even with a roommate, but then I remember that my parents don't ask me for rent or to even pay half the bills and I don't care anymore lmao. People can shame me all they want, rent is ridiculous in my city and I'm forever grateful to my parents. My parents and I sort of split the chores. My mom cleans the bathroom and does the laundry, I'll vacuum and mop the floors and take care of the dog, and my dad cooks. Sometimes I'll do laundry and my mom cooks instead. My cousin started living with us a few years ago to attend college in the U.S. and does very little, but he's gotten better over the past few years. He's tall and strong so it's comforting to not be home alone all the time anymore when my parents are working, plus we usually make him run small errands when we don't want to because he won't say no lmao.
No. 754095
>Why do you still live with your parents?
physical disability, I'm scared to move out unless it's with someone who knows what to do if I have a low blood sugar or a seizure
>Do you like living with your parents? What are your personal downsides or upsides?
no. I don't get along with my parents, they were abusive growing up and now my mom is now suddenly larping as a wretched crone to evade guilt/responsibility. I spent my life parenting her and now I'm scared she's going to start wearing diapers or worse to try to wring more guilt out of me. I try to just stay in the garage as much as possible.plese jesus christ don't get me wrong, I appreciate them letting me live here
>Is it acceptable in your culture to still live with your parents? Or is it deemed a bad thing by society?
I live in America, even some of my doctors think I'm piece of shit
>Do you contribute anything in your household?
I've given my parents over 70,000 USD since I've been out of high school, but I had to quit working because my feet were going numb and I really, really want to keep my fucking feet, so now I'm a leech piece of shit and I wish I was dead
my only hope of escape is to marry a rich man, I'm trying to get disability benefits, but it's been over two years and they're saying they can't help me until my feet finally fall off or if the bipolar disorder makes me attempt suicide at work, so
No. 754119
>>754095Get a friend and get out of your
toxic household
No. 754131
>>754119>Get a friendare you taking applications? kek
I'm truly an awful person, no one would want to be around me, I'll get out eventually
No. 754157
my situation is kinda abnormal… i think?
>At what age did you move out?
22
>Why did you move out?
financial abuse and narcissism, my parents were demanding more money from me than what i took home and even when i expressed how fucked up it was, they tried to demand even more from me and consistently pressured me to do more than just work
>Do you miss living with your parents?
lol no, thank god. if anything were to happen i'd go to another family member's house, a friend's, or a shelter before my parents.
>Is it acceptable in your culture to still live with your parents? Or is it deemed a bad thing by society?
it actually is, i have plenty of cousins who've been living with their parents even after getting married. my own parents have lived with my grandparents and my grandfather still lives with my parents to this day.
>Do you contribute anything in your household?
i was constantly told not to worry about anything, they'll take care of it. that didn't seem to be the case when i started working part time. now that i'm living with my boyfriend, we do 50/50 on everything and if i end up doing more housework than him, i knock off $50 when giving him my part of rent.
i envy any anon who has a good set of parents, i applaud your parents for being actually decent humans. i moved in with my boyfriend and his mom. i was never berated by her or asked for the impossible. she was so helpful and it helped me, and my boyfriend, be prepared to actually live independently. i have a cousin on my narc mom's side who is kinda in the same situation with the financially abusive parents, and i've let him know my door is always open.
multi generational/multi family households are so common in low income and marginalized demographic households, at least in the US(idk how other western countries are on this topic), and in other countries, like Japan and Mexico, it's very common and more of the norm, probably also more common in low income families.
even with all ive been through, i think american cultre is too focused on doing the impossible, financially, and being independent. there's a lot of classism intertwined with it. credit bureaus push for people to take out bigger loans for expensive things, and even interest rates get higher for lower cost items, where ultimately they're just paying off something forever. one reason why i don't understand the big deal about owning a house or buying a new car as some sort of "adulting" rite of passage. i don't want to be responsible for paying off something for years at a time. debt ain't my thing and i don't understand why it's so engrained in people's heads to guilt others over not falling into debt.
honestly, i really wish i didn't leave my parents house poorer than i've ever been, i even tried to reconcile with them years down the line and they started (mostly my mom) demanding money when things felt too good to be true. literally, the last time i tried to get close, i had to give up my phone and my car, even better my mom took over my old phone number and i have a big feeling she would send texts filled with lies about my boyfriend to my previous landlord. each interaction with my parents leaves me with so much loss and it fucking sucks, i can't even try to live comfortably around them.
No. 754159
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Thank fuck I don't live with my parents anymore. I put myself into 10k debt to get away when I was 19-20yrs old, then at 24 I moved back due to breaking up with an ex, where in six months I hauled ass to save as much as I could to move out again. I'm almost 29 now and I only go back for holidays.
>mom starts screaming at 9am on the dot
>brother being a smug autist while leeching off my parents
>my dad being the only productive member of the family, withering away while only getting four hours of sleep due to night shift and my mom
>tiny matchbox of a room in a shitty neighborhood
>an hour away from every job that pays more than minimum wage
My mom keeps demanding I move back and save rent due to my student loans, but I think she just wants someone to deal with the bills again. She wasn't receptive to my plans (nursing home or living with her sister–in-law) for when she gets super old since Chinese culture dictates that I take care of her, but I've been away for so long that she's now kind of considering it.
No. 754228
File: 1614894645037.jpg (89.99 KB, 640x640, 92243818_111765713814695_48692…)
>Why do you still live with your parents?
My grandparents live in my mom's house (there are 2 houses but so close to each other that we consider a single one, but there are separate kitchens etc) and she is never around. I lived there to take care of them and help them with daily things. Where I live there is a culture of taking care of our elderly people, so I felt I couldn't leave her house and leave my grandparents alone.The My sis moved in with her husband after my grandpa passed away. I moved out to my dad's house. He lives alone and is retired already. My parents help me with medical bills and I wouldn't be able to leave and pay my bills on my own now even if I wanted. Some shit happened to me while I was pursuing my masters degree. I had to rethink my whole professional life and I am trying to rebuild it now. So I def live with my parents for financial need.
>Do you like living with your parents? What are your personal downsides or upsides?
My mom is a High-functioning alcoholic, she is amazing at her job and a piece o shit in everything else, so it was terrible living with her. She makes a lot of money and manipulates people with it. I hated every second of it. My current situation is much better, each person has their own preferences about things and it can be annoying sometimes, but overall it's much much better.
>Is it acceptable in your culture to still live with your parents? Or is it deemed a bad thing by society?
It really depends, if you parents need help and you are not there for them you will be shamed for it. It's okay to live with them, but if you need their financial help it's frowned upon.
>Do you contribute anything in your household?
I my mom's house there was nothign I could do other than help my grandparents. Now I can help with much more with my dad and feel much better.
No. 754296
>Why do you still live with your parents?
Spending years being poor / immature and making bad decisions like dropping out of HS, waiting to go to college, working, going to college, then major hopping, 25 and I've finally decided on a major. Plan on getting my associates next year, and trying to save enough to move out.
>Do you like living with your parents? What are your personal downsides or upsides?
No. My parents are divorced and I've hopped between their houses a couple times. My mom is abusive and invasive, her boyfriend is a lazy alcoholic, and my father is dismissive and hovels himself up in his office working 75% of the time. There would be period when he was traveling pre covid where I would not see him for weeks at a time physically and periodically talk to him on the phone. Neither extreme is healthy, and this is how they've arguably been most of my life pre and post divorce. Living with my toxic parents has almost no upsides, the only upside is that when covid subsides, or when my dad finally gets his shot, he'll probably go back to intermittent traveling. Honestly, I hate being alone, so even when I move out, I'd rather have a roomie. So long as they're not a raging cunt.
>Is it acceptable in your culture to still live with your parents? Or is it deemed a bad thing by society?
At 25 it's seen as somewhat basement dwelly for an amerifag. The age is getting higher wherein people tend to move out of their parents house because of cost of living, but I'm still ashamed of my status.
>Do you contribute anything in your household?
I wouldn't say I contribute a lot. I would damn say that I don't care to help my parents much, but other than a few expenses they don't really help me either. Considering how they treat me overall I think they're just waiting for me to drop dead lowkey
No. 754366
>>754250OT but are you from Croatia? that's so odd (but cool) if you are, i feel like almost nobody here uses boards (a lot of my male friends used reddit though), much less women. if you are hi!!! i hope you are having a nice evening!
as for myself, i live alone right now. my sister helps me pay for rent and i pay the utilities. i'm glad i don't have to live with my mother full-time anymore because she snapped at me all the time when she had a bad day at work (read: every day) and my mental wellbeing improved considerably since moving away. i visit some weekends when she cooks something nice
No. 754443
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>>At what age did you move out?
>dormed at school freshman year
>took a break, stayed at home
>lived at home for another year and half
>moved out during senior year to live closer to school, room with classmates
I’ve lived in and out of home for college since their house is close, but I’m probably going to be on my own from now on out of choice.
>>Why did you move out?
More privacy and to push myself to live life. I don’t miss commuting and I love the city my college is in. Being able to walk everywhere is nice, especially with the weather getting better.
>>Do you miss living with your parents?
Kinda, I still see them since I visit once every few weeks to steal toilet paper. That being said living at home for me was really comfy, and I miss not balancing a job with studies kek
No. 754508
File: 1614922922622.png (147.91 KB, 322x527, you.png)
>Why do you still live with your parents?
because i can
>Do you like living with your parents? What are your personal downsides or upsides?
no, it sucks but it's free and they pay for my college too
>Is it acceptable in your culture to still live with your parents? Or is it deemed a bad thing by society?
don't know, don't care
>Do you contribute anything in your household?
my presence
No. 754516
File: 1614925046673.jpg (27.48 KB, 750x422, lisa3.jpg)
Another Filipino reporting in, lol. Turning 27.
>Why do you still live with your parents?
Saving up for a place of my own, plus they want me at home.
>Do you like living with your parents? What are your personal downsides or upsides?
My parents and I have a good relationship, so obviously the quality time with them is nice. But I have very little privacy; my work space is in the "family room" so my parents keep coming up to look at my screen even if I make it clear that I don't like to be watched. I could be completely "in the zone" and they'll suddenly ask me to explain what I'm doing. On the other hand, they're at that age now where they need help with a lot of things. Every 30 minutes my mom or dad asks me to help with something on their computer. Also, I'm the only one in the household with an e-wallet so a lot of bills payment happens through me, especially now in pandemic times. Pre-COVID I also definitely wished I could date more freely; they wanted to know where I am at all times and (worst of all) still enforce a curfew.
>Is it acceptable in your culture to still live with your parents? Or is it deemed a bad thing by society?
Very much acceptable. Most kids don't move out until they get married themselves. In fact, here, if you're single and move away from home and it's not clearly work-related, others will suspect that either you're quite wealthy or there are serious issues between you and your parents.
>Do you contribute anything in your household?
This is an interesting one. I earn a decent amount and have offered multiple times to contribute financially to our bills/utilities, but my parents keep insisting I save my money. I see and appreciate my eventual benefits from this, though I'd be lying if I said it didn't make me feel like a fucking baby. But like I said above, I help out by doing payments through my e-wallet (mom visits the bank once every few months to deposit money into my account, then I slowly expend that amount towards whatever bills arise).
Overall I love my parents and actually feel a little proud of my role as their "caretaker", since my sister just got married and my brother moved abroad a while back for work. However, I do think my moving out is on the horizon (I have some time deposits that will reach maturity in the next couple years, which will immensely help me get my own place). Even then, I don't plan to move away very far and plan to visit my parents as often as possible.
No. 754706
File: 1614955151556.jpg (84.12 KB, 600x742, Bicycling200910-bts-1.jpg)
American child of African immigrants
>Why do you still live with your parents?
My college is only a 5 minute drive away from my parents house, like half the student body is commuters, and dorms/apartment rent is to expensive in the area. Parents are also immigrants who see adult kids at home as normal and something to be encouraged.
>Do you like living with your parents? What are your personal downsides or upsides?
It's OK. The main downside is my mother can lose control of her emotions really fast, so I have to tiptoe around her a lot. Simple things like asking her to sign a card can devolve into her threatening to leave for the night.
Upside is that I don't pay rent and my dad is a big 'I moved to America to give my kids a better life' person so he likes spoiling me. His kindness can go to far because he doesn't get how college works so he's adamant against me getting a loan (it can be debated if he's right) and a part time job, doesn't want me to worry about money or work so hard my grades slip.
>Is it acceptable in your culture to still live with your parents? Or is it deemed a bad thing by society?
As said earlier my school culture and parents are OK with me staying at home. I do feel embarrassed because I have 2 cousins moving out. My area is also being gentrified, so I'm meeting a lot of "I moved out at 19(with daddies money)" people.
>Do you contribute anything in your household?
Not yet. Never applied for jobs in high school and freshman year couldn't get a job because I'm a covid high risk. I'm defiantly getting a job next school year under work study or working under my dad at his store
No. 754954
>>754366Nta but another cro anon
What part of the country do you live in?
I want to move out but without a steady job I can't do shit. Been wanting to move to Sesvete, Samobor or Sveta Nedelja but the rent is fucking high everywhere for a single person.
No. 755073
>>754954i'm also in Zagreb, i live alone in a garsonijera and the rent is stupid high. as i said my sister helps me pay for it, otherwise it would be impossible with my wage. i think especially now after the earthquake everyone wants to move away to newer buildings and houses outside of the city, so the rents skyrocketed. do you also have an
abusive family situation or do you just wish to be more independent? maybe you could get a stipend to live in dorms in another city, or ask other family members if they'd be willing to help support you
No. 755265
File: 1614999564163.png (257.77 KB, 500x375, 1593927948706.png)
>At what age did you move out?
17
>Why did you move out?
Move out to study at my University in another state. Mom paid my rent since my uni was free (I don't live in the USA. Now I got a job and pay my own rent.
>Do you miss living with your parents?
Hell no. My dad was a drunk and mean to me (he wanted a boy) and I was basically my mom's therapist. Apart from living in a tiny ass city and being traumatized by years of bullying, I'm so glad to not live in that hole anymore.
No. 755374
>>755367>Here's a thread for everyone who still lives or lived with their parents at age 18+>18+>>755362being op doesn't mean you can sit around and mini-mod
it was one response from one person who can't read, who cares
No. 755383
>>755367moved after living with their parents 18+
as in, moved when you were 18, 20, 27, 30, etc.
No. 755542
>>755361holy projecting batman
>>755350why'd you address people who moved out? she's 18+ now, she just said she moved out when she was 17
No. 755572
>>754004the reasons to judge it vary wildly. anyone who doesn't work on purpose (as in not too debilitated to work) and still lives at home to leech off their parents is definitely worth judging
anyway, i lived with my mom up til i was 28. i'd moved out before and i hated having roommates so i was trying to save up to live totally alone. we got along well, and she hadn't dated anyone for a long time, and i noticed early signs of alzheimer's (extreme forgetfulness mostly) so i was concerned about her living alone. i liked the idea of hanging out with her at the time. when i moved out, she had a boyfriend, who was a guy she's known for a long time. they live together now, i so i feel better about it. also, i live alone now, and it's fucking based.
No. 755590
>>755572>anyone who doesn't work on purpose and still lives at home to leech off their parents is definitely worth judgingBased take and I agree. I knew a lot of people who were leeches and would make up every excuse as to why they couldn't get a job, these were the wealthier types. Literally one of them I knew tried to play down the fact her father is a millionaire. I mean, good for them, but she isn't her father and she had way too many opinions about everyone else that were rooted in classism. I even knew some people who leeched off their parents while living out of town, and they were just as lazy, jobless, AND not even attending school. Literally no excuse. I wish I could say "I don't dream of labor", but that isn't the reality for the majority. A lot of us are living with our family for financial reasons. You even point out being concerned for your mother's aging mental health, which a lot of people do, even after they have that chance to live away financially stable, to take care of their parent.
No. 755813
>>755793Exactly the same with my parents. We're slav, my mum lived with my grandma until she had me, when she moved into her mother in law's with my dad. She hated it so moved back.
They got their own place when we moved to the UK (mid 30s). And this is 100% normal and even preferable. I love my family, what is it with westerners hating their parents and looking to bolt asap.
No. 757103
>>757092>I'm among those women that live at home and desperately want to be more independent as in cook for myself and do my own laundry and so on but my mom doesn't let me.big
oof I'm in the same situation
>She likes to be in control simple as that.I think I get why my mom does it too
>I'm moving out soon so it doesn't matter anymore and I'm looking forward to having my own rules and order and most importantly peace.I wish I could do this but tbh it scares me, having to pay rent and all
No. 757138
>>757103I know how you feel! There are so many recipes I want to try, there are so many things I want to do my way but I can't. If I didn't experience a short period of living on my own simple things like doing laundry would seem daunting to me because my mother does everything to stop me from doing simple chores. Something like cleaning which you'd think she'd be happy about me doing always ends with her taking over.
> I wish I could do this but tbh it scares me, having to pay rent and allI already pay a rent to my parents despite them owning several real estate and having no debts or mortgage. They've recently started increasing their rent so I am forced to move out but it's for the better. It is scary, it's scary to me because everything seems so uncertain. I wish I had a family to fall back on if things go south but I don't. I hope that at least your family is less of a stranger to you and that you can rely on them even if it's at the cost of your freedom and independence.
No. 757367
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>>755350bitch why are you mad?
No. 757379
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Last November I had to move back to my parents home for a month after 10 years of living alone because of shit show of medical issues with my dad (he is ok now by miracle), maybe it was the circumstances but it was hell for my mental health, and I feel guilty because it wasn't like my mom was an abusive asshole or anything but not having my own space really mess me up, thankful everything got resolved and I'm currently back at my home.
But yeah while I don't judge anyone still living with their parents (unless they are leeches) is not for me
No. 759835
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>>754901you're 23, didn't go to uni, and can afford to move out?? omg what's your secret? thank u in advance britanon, glad you're not lonely now <3
No. 759850
>>759835I taught myself to code in my last year of school and immediately started freelancing. With freelance you can set your own hourly rate (mine is $100-$150) so you can stack up money quickly. I also have passive income from apps I've developed.
I HIGHLY recommend freelancing or learning a skill you can do from home over the high stress dead end 9-5.
No. 760005
>>760002I'm very lazy too, after the initial hard work to learn a skill and set up a good reputation with clients, it's been very easy. I work 2-3 hours at most per day.
Independence is the reason I did it, I can't stand relying on a boss for my money, or sucking up to someone, or only getting some measly 1% pay raise and expecting to be thankful.
Actually, I heard on the news a few years ago someone say "show me anyone under 30 making more than £50k" and I thought I'd show her
No. 760011
>Why do you still live with your parents?
Lost my job last year and can't afford rent now.
>Do you like living with your parents? What are your personal downsides or upsides?
My parents leave me alone most of the day but I miss living away from them. It's not the same even if I don't see them for like 8 hrs a day, ya know?
The things that I really hate are having to integrate back into my family dynamics and getting nagged at. I'm the black sheep while my sister is the spoiled golden child despite being a NEET, so it's irritating having to listen to them fawn over my sister all day. As for nagging, it's not like I can run away and say "I have a meeting now" and hang up or not respond to their text. My mom nagging me to get married (I'm only 23…) is more intense than ever, it happens every day and she literally will corner me in the house to nag.
>Is it acceptable in your culture to still live with your parents? Or is it deemed a bad thing by society?
Rent is really expensive where I live, easily $3000+ a month for a small apartment, so it's not super frowned upon to live at home if you can. At the same time, there's still a weird stigma around living at home. Not all jobs here pay good wages though, so some people don't really have a choice. Even at my old job, I didn't make enough to live alone (had a roommate).
>Do you contribute anything in your household?
Chores. Cooking, cleaning, etc. They don't expect me to pay rent, which is nice.
No. 760126
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>Why do you still live with your parents?
I'm in my mid twenties and probably and undiagnosed sperg. I've had jobs before but I have another disabilty that makes normal jobs extremely difficult for me. I'm also an anachan with shitty physical health to boot. My parents are huge mother hens and like having me and my siblings home.
>Do you like living with your parents? What are your personal downsides or upsides?
I love my parents and the only real downside is privacy they can be nosy.
>Is it acceptable in your culture to still live with your parents? Or is it deemed a bad thing by society?
My fam is Hispanic and it's not uncommons for us to stay with the fam even after we get married
>Do you contribute anything in your household? I clean the house, dishes and do laundry etc, etc. I don't cook since my father is particular about what he eats.
I'd like to move out but I'm definitely not ready. Any farmers have any advice for a neet who wants to end their ways?
No. 760185
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>Why do you still live with your parents?
Had to come back due to covid and a really bad breakup. Credit got fucked and even though I disputed the false strikes against me it's still fucked, so I'll probably have to cosign with my mother in order to get a new apartment despite being 31 and having a regular income that far exceeds hers. Fuck credit companies.
>Do you like living with your parents? What are your personal downsides or upsides?
It's generally negative. Dad is an unmedicated bipolar nutjob that is set off at the drop of a hat and completely fine 10 seconds later. I have pretty high anxiety/flinch when I hear yelling or loud noises having grown up with him. Being into women is a no-no and I've been literally chased around with a bible in my face in the last year. Also my mother likes to snoop in my room and sees no issue with it, calling me "sensitive" for being angry at her. Upside is I get to save a lot of money and spend more on stupid shit recently.
>Is it acceptable in your culture to still live with your parents? Or is it deemed a bad thing by society?
Burger millennial so boomers flip flop between wanting to baby us constantly to telling us we're worthless because they got their own house at age 22.
>Do you contribute anything in your household?
I help them pay rent because they scraped by most months without me, and whenever my parents need it like getting groceries, gas, etc. Also I am the resident dishwasher.
No. 761496
>>761435You're still very young, most people move out in there early twenties so don't beat yourself up about it
nonnie!
No. 762498
I'm 25, jobless, about to hopefully graduate school (it was difficult because of my depression and unmanaged adhd and ocd) and I still live with my mom.
And I love my mom, and she's old, and she will need my help. But I also live with my brother, and my brother is abusive, and he's 29 and still living here, and I don't think he will be leaving until she dies. And I hate this. If he left a lot of things would be solved but a lot of things wouldn't. I think while he's abusive with my mom too, he actually tries to take care of her. But he's also a headache, he destroys things just because he's a man and he has too much force. My mom takes support in him. But my mom also gets tired of him. I don't think I'll be able to make her rely on me more because at this point I'm thinking she loves him too much, even if she loves me too.
At times like these I want to move out as fast as I can. I can't get out of my room unless my brother is in his, if he comes out of his room I run to mine. I haven't seen him in 4+ years, avoiding him completely in my own house because of abusive encounters I've had with him. I hate him.
Either way, I can pull out with him because I love my mom. Everyday she gets weaker and older. She has chronic pain. But she still infantilizes me sometimes.
I wish I could live a day with her like that one kid from "Artificial Inteligence" (2001), when the kid finally can live a normal loving day with his own mom as a last death wish.
Idk what to do.
No. 763382
>Why do you still live with your parents?
I live with my parents because I don't have a job, nor can I drive although a 21 year old woman who cant drive could conceivably have a job where I live (medium US city). I also recently dumped my fiance who was much older than me and unsurprisingly loved how I could not do anything i.e. unsupportive of my efforts to do anything except take 1 class at a time online and learn to make eye contact with anyone but him in public.
>Do you like living with your parents? What are your personal downsides or upsides?
My parents are very kind and supportive people. I love the peace and I like that I am deliberately learning to be normal. I had been avoiding home and even had mostly moved in with my ex fiance because I have an unpleasant association with the house itself, and my older sister (who is not living here but is at risk homeless in another state) used to throw catch 22s and things my way so much that you could say she and even i would've been considered beyond lolcow level awful at the height of being in contact at all, if i were not such a reclusive person (no socials) and she was slightly less of a liar on social media. For starters, my family has 2 purebred dogs she abandoned in the past 2 years. I am very glad I am now focused on the sustainable way to 'happiness' which is to fix my issues here and get my degree and learn to drive, learn social skill and quit seeking abuse.
>Is it acceptable in your culture to still live with your parents? Or is it deemed a bad thing by society?
I am an American. My parents were abandoned by their own parents, and my dad's brother died while homeless, and my only close friend is also 21 and she does not know how to drive either so I am very thankfully in an undeterred improvement mindset (thanks to the company I keep now). But no, my situation is probably fairly unusual and unacceptable. It was almost the most crippling part, comparing my little bubble to normal people. But then I finally got some perspective and now I feel like I need to seize this opportunity.
>Do you contribute anything in your household?
I clean, cook, walk the dogs my sister gave the family, train them, garden. Basically nothing, but faking a very positive attitude and working on my mental crap and being on great terms with my parents makes it feel alright.
No. 763800
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>Why do you still live with your parents?
30 and still live with parents and I'm ashamed of it. I've always had mental health problems, bad anxiety and panic attacks with periods of severe depression since my early twenties, I kind of just adopted this victim complex about it. only ever worked part-time jobs so never made enough money to move out but honestly, I think living alone would've made my mental health issues worse. haven't had friends since my early 20s either so no one to share a flat or anything with. the idea of moving out feels like a pipedream. I want to move out but the idea terrifies me
>Do you like living with your parents? What are your personal downsides or upsides?
I love my parents. they're amazing and we get on pretty well. I actually think they've been too good to me and living with them has been super cushy. upsides are there's always someone to talk to for the most part, lots of support. downside is wanting my independence and feeling kind of smothered by still living under my parent's 'rules' so to speak, like I say 'living like a teenager'. masturbating can be a nightmare while at home, unless it's the dead of night. I can't use my toys for fear of the noise being heard etc
>Is it acceptable in your culture to still live with your parents? Or is it deemed a bad thing by society?
I'm from the UK and it's very unusual to still be living with parents at my age. it's actually a point of shame for me, especially now I'm in my thirties. I try not to let it get to me and remind myself of why I'm in this position but at the end of the day, it's kind of pathetic
>Do you contribute anything in your household?
I'm basically the emotional support to the whole household. Idk who my mum would talk to if I wasn't there. I'm the person my family come to for comfort/support. I pamper my mum a lot, we joke how I'm her personal beautician lol. I also do general cleaning. pay for my own shit except general bills like water/internet.
honestly I feel like a loser and parasite still being at home. I dream of having my own space, hopefully with a boyfriend. it can be incredibly suffocating at times but at other times it's so cosy to be surrounded by the ones I love, like another anon said, I'll never regret spending more time with my parents.
No. 763850
>>755590yeah, and startlingly, a lot of people with that mindset aka purposeful NEETs are often
abusive in some way to whoever they're living with. either physically or verbally or just being fucking useless, doing no chores or anything to help while sitting around playing video games all day and having the audacity to bitch at their parents. it's just a shithead entitled mindset.
caring for / about a parent is fine, i mean, i wouldn't feel ok with my mom living alone. i never felt judged for living at home since my reasons were pretty normal and
valid. financial reasons are too. i am very blessed to be able to live alone rn.
No. 763872
>Why do you still live with your parents?
Because I live in one of the most expensive cities in the world and I am trying to switch careers, which would be impossible to afford if I were living on my own.
>Do you like living with your parents? What are your personal downsides or upsides?
Downsides - they seem to get more talkative the older they get, being asked to time-consuming errands when I'm trying to get work done, not a lot of space for personal projects
Upside - don't have to pay $2-3k USD per month for rent (I help with utilities though), my room is really comfy, delicious food every day, there's always someone to talk to if I feel social, I wake up to a hot cup of tea on my desk every morning :)
>Is it acceptable in your culture to still live with your parents? Or is it deemed a bad thing by society?
LOL no. I'm a waste of oxygen who should be dying under a bridge somewhere, according to American society
>Do you contribute anything in your household?
I pay part of the utility bills each month, buy groceries, and fix things.
No. 763881
>Why do you still live with your parents?
I’m still studying, I tried finding a way to graduate faster by taking a bunch of classes for each semester but the university won’t stop closing the virtual classrooms and it’s making me slow down a lot.
Since I’m closer to graduating I’m only allowed to take 3 classes at best, from the 6 to 7 classes I used to take at first, there’s a huge deficit of teachers in my country.
>Do you like living with your parents? What are your personal downsides or upsides?
It’s nice, there’s barely any downsides other than the obvious which is being constantly surrounded by people and not being allowed to do anything for myself.
I appreciate their concern and their wish for me to not have to go through rough times at life, but I have to learn how to do things on my own even if that means getting sick or burning a pan.
>Is it acceptable in your culture to still live with your parents? Or is it deemed a bad thing by society?
It’s actually pretty common since a few decades ago, it’s quite difficult to move out because the prices for an apartment are insane and renting usually leaves people with the fear of suddenly losing their home because someone else decided to take that place as theirs.
So not only it’s a way to protect what you already have, it’s, I guess, a way to make sure your family is safe.
>Do you contribute anything in your household?
Nowadays I help around the house, we got a maid so I don’t have to cook or clean as much like a few months ago.
I cook for my brother sometimes, because he’s useless at chores, he’s only capable of doing whatever he wants to do, fucking piece of shit.
I shop for the groceries with my parents and I take care of our dog.
I’ve been job hunting but no one wants to hire someone who hasn’t graduated yet, this is fucking annoying because I do want to help at home with the bills and i also hope i can have my own home someday.
No. 763915
This will be therapeutic for me, so forgive me for breaking the question format and sperging. I've ruminated about posting this for awhile:
Right now I split rent with my stepdad. Anons might recognize me based on my past vent posts.
I've rented with him for almost two years and come late Spring I'll finally be able to escape this apartment lease and move in with my boyfriend.
Why do I split rent with my stepdad? Because two years ago I ended a long term relationship with my ex and couldn't afford rent around here on my own. So option 1) I could either have taken up chances with strangers for roommates whom I've never had luck with because I'm always relegated to being their maid, or option 2) Move back in with my narcissistic mom and stepdad because they offered to put me up rent-free until I found my feet.
I chose 2, and it was the worst mistake of my adult life. There were days when I'd have to leave the house because she'd yell, scream, and argue at me for hours on end after I got home from work for petty things. Like if I asked her if I could have some alone time and to maybe not interrogate me about what I've eaten, where I've been, what's in my grocery bag, and who I've seen the second I walked in the door. Or for telling her that I wanted privacy and locking the guest bedroom door to get it since otherwise she'd barge in and intrude (this is something she truly despised since my childhood home door never locked and she had access to me + my belongings whenever she fancied, I didn't have a door that closed completely until I moved out for the first time at age 22). She accused me of making her a prisoner in her own home whenever I drew a line anywhere and I felt so stifled. Compounded by the fact that they lived in the middle of nowhere, there was no place for me to escape to and she was constantly at home smoking her vape and watching youtube–since she has no friends nor hobbies. The only job I managed to get was a part time gig for 16/hr. So I wasn't making huge money on top of having to pay my bills and debts as normal. I had big time credit card debt due to leaning on it during my stressful job to pay off shifts after I ran out of PTO for mental health–she tinfoiled me of faking my declining mental health so I could receive welfare benefits, which obv didn't happen. Once I asked her for $70 so I could make my credit payment when I was short, after I had contacted the company to seek out a hardship plan, and she acted like I was trying to cheat and rob her. What else pissed her off? She'd send me indeed.com links to jobs that I had no qualifications for, and then get irrationally angry when I told her that I never received callbacks because 4,000 people had applied to the listing and I was underqualified–being a boomer she thought I wasn't being proactive enough because surely calling or handing in my physical resume would have done the trick had I just wanted those jobs enough. She expected me to clean and cook which I did, but it never seemed to be up to her expectations. Mom never asked stepdad to help out around the house, even though she begrudged about him to me for this. She'd pick up after his slack and then take her frustration out on me for not picking up this adult man's shit since I'm also a vagina meant to clean up after men. If I didn't go the extra mile then I was no different than my lazy stepdad, had I been male she would have treated me differently. She's a pensioned retiree so she had all day to contemplate how much of a fuckup of a female I was, I guess. If I didn't envelop her with perpetual gratitude and servitude, I was being a shit. She hated to see me idle after work and heaven forbid if she caught me playing a game on my laptop. Not to mention I was in a horrible depression because I felt taken advantage of by my last relationship despite being the most accommodating of pro-male pickmes. I put up with a horribly stressful job for four years, suffered a grad program I didn't want for my parent's approval with massive debt, and was stuck again with them at age 26. It didn't feel fair, I felt like I had endured too much and had worked too hard to had wound up back with them. As far as mom was concerned, I had deserved it all because I had stayed with my ex despite her criticism, and now I burdened her being at home which reflected poorly on her. I also had horrible self-esteem after all that, and my mother's unbearable, unloving behavior made it so I wanted to escape the house whenever possible. I wound up dating a physically abusive douchecanoe for a couple months where in exchange for spending most of my nights at his hovel, he financially depleted me by guilting me into giving him money if not escalating to violence. I felt like a frog in slowly boiling water and I didn't realize I was being abused until I was deep in it. The scrote was violent and physically restrained me when I tried to leave after a night of particularly bad abuse over holiday. I ended it successfully but it was awful, he even got some mentally ill marine friend to try to intimidate me. My mother blamed me for this. I'm her daughter and I was in so much pain. She didn't bother trying to understand me during this time and I thought she was being so evil considering she had left my biological dad when I was a baby after she claimed he was violent against her, and my grandparents put us up in their apartment/garage for a year. She told me the same stories about how they were mean to her and violated her privacy, how my bio dad was evil and conniving, yet I guess she forgot how shitty it felt because she did the same shit to me and treated me like an even bigger failure than she'd been. Then she would wonder things like why wasn't I close to her? As if it were all my fault, and poor her for not having a nice daughter like the ones she seen on tv. She was blameless, of course. I had turned out so rotten because she was too easy on me and should have been harder on me–her words. She told me to pray to Jeebus. This was my living arrangement from October to May.
Anyway, being miserable and resentful doesn't exactly bode well for marriages either. Her and my stepdad always had a dysfunctional, weird, and distant relationship but when I moved back in I got to see how it was neurotic as ever. For several years I'd been my own adult and witnessed how actual healthy marriages function and they were not that. She was super demanding, almost like she felt that him taking her commands was a loyalty test to make up for the fact that they weren't romantic or intimate with each other for the past decade. I wanted to know why? Another curious development was that during my mom's tantrums and fits forcing me to leave the house, my stepdad would come around to play "good cop" by empathizing with me while she wasn't around, and yet talking to her as if on good graces that she wasn't wrong about what she did to me. Why though? Manipulation. He was setting me up to be on his side for something and wanted to maintain good standing with her at the same time.
Turns out, stepdad decided he was gonna have an affair and then drag me into the middle of the drama by confessing to me about it and asking me not to tell my mom. To this day I don't know why he did this to me, a loyalty test? My betrayal and hurt that my mom had caused me at the time made me feel that her trespass was worse than my stepdad's. Somehow my stepdad's reveal that he was a liar was more of a heatbreak, perhaps because I always expected my mom to be a hateful bitch who was never on my side but my stepdad was supposed to be one of the good ones. I felt so alone, and what was I supposed to do? Well, mom ain't altogether stupid so one day when I took her out to lunch she confided in me about her shit marriage–as she's always done, threatening to trade stepdad in "for a new model"–and gave me her reasons on why she thought my stepdad might be cheating. It was accurate, he had gotten the one-up on her by getting that "new model" before she could. So when I dropped her off at the house, I revealed the big secret & then left in my car to leave them both to duke it out when he got home from work suspiciously late.
Mom kicked out my stepdad who proceeded to couchsurf for free with friends while mom initiated the divorce proceedings.
After that, my mom became uncharacteristically cozy with me for a week or two. Because ya see, she was the ultimate victim for having been cheated on so she demanded a constant parade of pity and empathy. It was as if she mirrored the days when she was a single mom and I was a small child; going back to the time of us v. the world and how we were a team again because my child ass didn't see how I was being used like an emotional tampon by an adult. She began to use phrasing like "our house" whereas before it was always "her house." Apologies, and maybe anons reading this would think I'm in the wrong here, but the traumatic shit she had said and done to me during my time there (and in general throughout the years when I wasn't even living with her) had made her an enemy in my eyes. Sure, I was nice to her & entertained her tirades about my stepdad the first few weeks post-cheating-reveal because I felt that was just the decent thing to do despite her never having such nurture for me. Paradoxically, sometimes she'd accuse me of having an underlying motive when I was nice to her…which seems like projection. For her birthday I took her to a historical mansion tour she said she was interested in, yet she accused me of having done it for myself lol. Shit like that. She asked me to go to her therapy appointments with her and I did, just to listen to her lie to the therapist about how her biggest fault was "doing too much for people" and not focusing on herself enough lmao. I just let her bullshit, it wasn't worth the consequence to expose her in front of the therapist and face her wrath for it. Bet the therapist thought we had a great relationship though. I only told the therapist that my mom ranting to me about my stepdad made me feel uncomfortable, and so the therapist advised my mom to stop. Five minutes out the door and me driving us home, my mom was back to ranting about my stepdad to me. That's the person she is.
The honeymoon phase didn't last long. Before I knew it, it was my mom back to being a mean bitch to me as usual. It got to the point where she was talking shit about me over the phone to other family members which I overheard because she talks so fucking loudly. I think she expected me to keep asspatting her and she wasn't satisfied with my efforts. I needed to be more gushing, thankful, and loving despite the bullshit she was saying about me behind my back. It had been almost two months since The Big Reveal and I frankly was so tired of constantly centering my emotional energy around her when I had my own problems. My issue wasn't that she was grieving her third failed marriage, it was that she thought it was the only grief that mattered.
One night I went on a date and was coerced into having sex that I would've ran from had the guy not lied under false pretenses. I remember crying on my drive home and wanting to go to my mom naively thinking that maybe her divorce would have made her sympathetic about women dealing with shitty lying men. I was wrong. She blamed me for what had happened and said I had put out too early. If only I hadn't had sex so soon. She didn't have time for my "boy problems" because what she was going through was so much worse. I raged hard and the gloves were off at that point forward. I mean, how could she blame me for getting clowned when she's been thrice divorced and has never modeled a healthy relationship for me to know what I need to look for? Evidently, her sexless marriage didn't make an honest man out of my cheating stepdad. Clearly I lacked her support because she was so caught up in her own internalized misogyny and blame games. So anywho, we got real into it. She kept repeating that I was so mean all because I didn't take her shitty comments in smiles. At one point I said maybe she deserved to be cheated on for being such a rancid cunt. She screamed at me that I was a traitor, and a backstabber. On the final night I ever stayed in her house, I once again overheard her talking shit on the phone about me. Then she called my stepdad and he refused to try to save their marriage because she demanded he give her an answer right then (after the big bad bitch act she put on about the divorce lmao, still as desperate as I was on the inside). He said no. She was raging mad when she hung up and gave me a stink eye when she saw me. I confronted her which resulted her in accusing me of "needling" her, "spying" on her conversations, and then she screeched the loudest I had ever heard her screech before, like a wounded animal. I retreated to my room. I heard her dial her sister-in-law who lived down the street and asked her in hysterics to come over. When the SIL arrived, like a switch, my mom was suddenly calm and rational while I was still angry and shaken. She shut off her manic emotions like a faucet to put on a presentation for her audience that she was the collected parent & I was the ungrateful daughter with attitude. I started to pack my things, and my mom moaned to the SIL "See what I put up with?!" as if I had no reason to want to leave. My aunt shamed me, "How could you abandon your mother?" But I didn't care. I hate her and I still do. She taunted that she'd remove me from her will, and to be honest, I don't care. I wouldn't have her in my life again for a billion dollars and I bet she's still seething that she can't get me to stick via financial codependency anymore.
I spent a month living out my car and storage unit. I'd wake up early to go to the gym, use their hygiene facilities, go to work, and then sleep in a parking lot overnight. Finally, I met up with my stepdad and asked if he wanted to go in on an apartment until either of us figured out what we can financially do. Between the two evils, my stepdad was the lesser evil at the time.
Is he any better to live with? Not really, but better in some aspects. I do not have to deal with daily yelling and harassment. I've never felt I had to flee the apartment for my mental sanity. I don't have to worry about my stepdad entering my room uninvited, or interrogating me like a criminal. He plays mind games no doubt, but they're somehow less personal than the ones my mom played.
However, I've posted about him before. He's entitled, slobbish, lazy, and thinks he has domain over the apartment I equally pay for just because it makes him feel like more of a man. He infantilizes me and calls me "little girl" if we do fight because he has to make me feel small so he can feel better that he's a 59 year old loser who needs to split rent with his daughter cause he can't afford shit on his own, and has made such poor financial choices that he can't despite making double my salary. If I say BOO to the fucker, he bursts at me in a rage. He grouched at me a few weeks ago simply because I had asked him to turn down the blaringly loud tv while I had a zoom call for work. Two weeks ago he got into a physical altercation where he bruised my arm and grabbed at my throat just because I asked if he had closed the patio door because it was hot. I complained that it was hot because I was trying to clean. He bitched back that he had the door open cause the trash stunk and his dishes were in the sink…shit I would have cleaned anyway like usual had he just shut the god damn door so I could work without sweating my ass off! Idiot. He's the type who wants to believe he contributes more than he actually does because his ego can't handle that he's largely useless and a piece of shit.
He still likes to play the hero dad role though. I noticed his taste in women tends to be younger + with kids, coincidentally the same situation as he found me and my mom all those years ago. I think he does this because more vulnerable people are easier to impress and will ask less questions. Bet he won't tell the new chick that he owes $20k to the IRS and has his wage garnished. Even when I bought my new car and landed my first professional job, he played up being oh so proud of me while obviously considering me immature because I'm not picking up after his shit and cooking him a meal every night. He treats me a lot like my mom, and even compares me to her when he's mad at me just to emotionally abuse me because he knows she upsets me. I'm nice to him, sometimes, but I refuse to be my mom because being nice to him doesn't end in reward. Whatever I do for him, I do with the understanding that it won't count and he would never do for me in return. I'm nice to this prick because that's who I am, and is what I need to do to get through the next few months despite his bullshit.
It's sad, I wish I could say that after having lived with my parents as an adult that I had a better respect for them…but I don't. They're babies in adult bodies projecting their flaws onto me. Repeating the cycles of their traumas because they've never taken responsibility nor have gotten real help for them because they can't be honest with themselves. Stealing credit as parents for my successes while disassociating from my failures. I cannot wait to be rid of this damn apartment lease and move out, I intend to have as little contact as possible. My family keeps writing me shame letters involving god-fearing and religiously threatening themes in an attempt to get me to speak with my mom again, but I haven't. They say I'm a shit for having picked to live with my stepdad, not realizing that I don't like my stepdad either. My mom has written me letters excusing everything she's done as having had a reason, giving me more sob story details of her upbringing (nah fam, she had it good and way less traumatizing than the life she gave me with her choices), and to take her back. No thanks1 After the shit I've witnessed I never want them in my life again. I just can't imagine treating my own daughter in the way they've treated me. I can't imagine kicking my daughter when she's down just because she has to move back in with me for several months as an adult. I can't imagine belittling the same daughter paying half my rent when by all accounts I should be able to afford it myself.
The situation is sick because to outsiders I look like some ingrate millennial, but if only they knew the truth about what happened behind closed doors and how my parents are emotionally immature.
No. 764251
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>>763915Damn, I hope whatever the fuck you're going through gets better
No. 839237
>>839234Start taking personal responsibility
>>839232Yeah, it's really not you fault, isn't it?
No. 839245
>>839241The entire rest of your life is going to be about forming good habits and breaking bad habits. It's not something one and done. The entire rest of your life is going to be putting effort after effort and nobody will ask you what foundations for it you have or care. It's over. Childhood is over. You are the only one whose actions matter now. It's going to be hard.
It will never be easier. Only you can become stronger and more adept.
GO!