File: 1598550272073.jpg (25.57 KB, 600x375, welcome.jpg)
No. 616874
File: 1598553786191.png (165.75 KB, 324x497, f6694b82c54d1aea6c0a2f28774f4e…)
Oi champ, I got lost and am looking for me mum. the bloody cunt bailed on me again. not shittin ya. I'd rather be back home to crack open a cold one with the boys fuckin oath. can ya do me a favawr and help me out here champ?
No. 616876
File: 1598554042759.jpg (43.93 KB, 600x360, front desk ladies.jpg)
>>616874Certainly, not a problem! Do you know your last name little one? How about your mom's first name?
No. 616883
File: 1598554468284.jpg (21.08 KB, 400x353, tumblr_oqs7pa32jN1scqbpuo1_400…)
>>616876no drama, it's Smith and Sheila Smith. cheers, mate! fuckin oath bloody cobbler
No. 617053
File: 1598564239512.jpg (56.03 KB, 851x847, EbkBFfLVAAA57Z_.jpg)
This man is standing in my hotel room and he will not leave.
No. 617097
File: 1598568284816.png (119.04 KB, 313x235, man calling security.png)
>>617053Auhhh, hi sir, what can I do ya for?
No. 617118
File: 1598570411053.jpg (233.72 KB, 1024x683, help.jpg)
>>617097He's just standing here, watching me. I'm afraid for my life.
No. 617141
File: 1598572219420.png (1.47 MB, 4016x2988, wing.png)
one room please
No. 617148
File: 1598573050518.jpg (60.15 KB, 694x900, xulkj2svkr121.jpg)
room for dog please
No. 617151
File: 1598573456963.png (393.15 KB, 700x467, security.png)
>>617118Ms.
Nonny, we will have someone up to you immediately.
No. 617152
File: 1598573496953.jpg (114.05 KB, 890x501, hotel-guest-service.jpg)
>>617141>>617148No problem! Here are your keys! Have a great honeymoon!
No. 617157
File: 1598573860406.jpg (4.18 KB, 225x225, wing2.jpg)
>>617152excuse you but im not married to that dog
No. 617160
File: 1598574178536.jpeg (183.79 KB, 1024x911, FBA12852-6C35-4BF4-A202-84778C…)
Do you have any smoking rooms?
No. 617164
File: 1598574318853.jpg (1.08 MB, 3385x2924, Move_AskAConcierge_RogerGeadah…)
>>617160Let me check our system to see if we have any of those available for you right now.
No. 617165
File: 1598574362762.jpg (846.72 KB, 1920x1080, 9mxlxl2c.jpg)
Evening. Room for two please with separate beds for my brother and me. Thank you very much
No. 617166
File: 1598574519796.jpeg (183.65 KB, 1024x911, D6BC8D42-21E3-4055-BF61-D79CB6…)
>>617164Nevermind I’ll just do it outside
No. 617167
File: 1598574715127.jpg (132.23 KB, 946x311, v8hwo7ae.jpg)
Hello! We would like a room for nine please and thank you
No. 617171
File: 1598575004467.jpg (78.37 KB, 438x391, trips only.jpg)
>>617169Of course, we have also assigned you a personal staff for your stay here. Thank you so much for coming.
No. 617172
File: 1598575124969.gif (381.28 KB, 1000x665, ssf-rezeption.gif)
>>617157I'm so sorry, sir. I just felt a certain attraction between you two.
>>617165Of course, right away.
>>617167Absolutely. Would you like to sign-up for our group package which includes a free guided tour of the city?
No. 617176
File: 1598575383527.jpg (105.73 KB, 2048x1366, 9llg0tpsllq21.jpg)
>>617172i better get free complimentary chili for this
youre lucky i dont phone the management for this
No. 617178
File: 1598575706483.jpg (20.69 KB, 600x300, L2ltYWdlcy91cGxvYWQvMTgxMA-1-6…)
>>617172Yes, that sounds lovely. We would just love to see the famed sewers and parks and go for pizza after. Thanks for your impeccable service
No. 617187
File: 1598576544136.jpeg (83.48 KB, 750x608, 23F1AEA6-B31A-43A8-8B64-5A1C88…)
Do you have any beds big enough to accommodate me and my cat?
No. 617188
File: 1598576981792.jpeg (167.19 KB, 889x1200, ED953B85-8C6F-46C9-A543-3100DB…)
Hi, I would like a room for me and my husband, do you also have lube?
No. 617189
File: 1598577203519.jpg (25.88 KB, 400x400, FZOSPvYe_400x400.jpg)
>>617172all good, misunderstandings happen. just don't assume next time you see a dog and a large human together. that reminds me, my ex was on the chonkier side, too, an absolute unit …
>>617176weird idea but we could help each other out. you take me for walks, I help you lose some of that weight. deal?
No. 617192
File: 1598578261887.jpg (31.29 KB, 600x399, 6324a266f527583e445c74010048a6…)
>>617187Of course. Our largest beds are king size and super king size. Which would your companion and you prefer?
>>617188Gladly. We cannot hand out such an article to you but there is a vending machine in the ground floor bathroom here for your convenience.
No. 617224
File: 1598582402493.jpeg (110.63 KB, 275x275, 2F3B1EA4-66B0-4BC6-AB9C-7BC50E…)
Hello I am president of Maaun. One room please.
No. 617236
File: 1598583354330.jpeg (173.17 KB, 736x981, 01D5B45E-34BC-43F4-86AB-B68A7C…)
H-hewo, I reserved a woom for this weekend’s convention and I’d like to upgwade to the largest size available
No. 617256
File: 1598585923870.jpg (14.15 KB, 304x304, 4sXH2w2k_400x400.jpg)
Hello, do you have any rooms for internet super stars available? I'll take it if the walls are sound proof
No. 617257
File: 1598586140476.jpeg (761.76 KB, 3500x2413, 84508505-F4DB-4E41-8C81-820581…)
Hello room service, could you please send up a couple extra pillows? I really need the support and the pillows here are as flat as paper.
No. 617261
File: 1598586475937.jpeg (80.78 KB, 357x940, EE16702D-B73E-4D64-9BC4-5E96BB…)
>>617192Thanks! I will enjoy my three months’ stay in here!
No. 617263
File: 1598586671152.jpeg (41.1 KB, 600x399, 15D594D6-43E3-41A5-9467-2D146B…)
>>617224How wonderful, my niece went to Maryam Abacha American University Niger. Here is your key.
>>617236Thank you for choosing us, please take a seat in the lobby while we disable the fire alarms in your room and bring up an additional waste bin for nitrous oxide canisters.
No. 617276
File: 1598587490466.jpeg (19.56 KB, 400x500, 2CC3DC40-D12D-4ADE-A0B9-E132FE…)
Do y’all have complimentary breakfast?
No. 617278
File: 1598587591633.png (404.56 KB, 574x549, wings2.png)
>>617172EXCUSE ME I WILL NOT BE ABUSED LIKE THIS
DO U KNO WHO I AM PIIIIIIIMP???
>>617189sorry pimp but i got a lot of cats. i'll tell ya what hows about u get in my ford raptor and we do some donuts at the zaxbys parking lot
No. 617282
File: 1598588036661.jpeg (39.26 KB, 879x439, B56B0DDA-F800-4D83-80B1-6C91A0…)
Please help me, he’s trying to rape me! I’m scared!
No! GET AWAY FROM ME STO-line cuts off
No. 617292
File: 1598588910544.jpg (53.56 KB, 500x510, 5d171a1cab7425269e30b0a2301f9e…)
Does your hotel have a pool? Or a pond? I need a place of water where I can ascend. That would ………..,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,№##£#£££_''''920@0#('9'(3;£#)/@/@2002…………………………..
.
No. 617299
File: 1598589563146.jpg (739.21 KB, 1920x2195, vm8ciicj.jpg)
>>617292sorry about that. will come back another time.
No. 617305
File: 1598589959347.jpg (164.72 KB, 633x1000, b9e2opnj.jpg)
>>617282>>617299>>617282wait what is that I smell? grease? … better follow it to the source. I hear screaming and shouting aswell. It makes me angry. Who are these tiny screeching wrestling creatures Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I will feast on the rotten one aaaaaaaaaaaa
crunch crunch No. 617316
File: 1598590920975.png (Spoiler Image,376.88 KB, 600x339, ilvrqb9n.png)
>>617305r-reception? I think my room needs to be cleaned up
No. 617328
File: 1598592013412.jpg (81.17 KB, 580x580, m_5e20d4d7e974fb58c7add19f.jpg)
Excuse me, ma'am? I have a complaint to make.
I checked in to the honeymoon suite with my husband - why the FUCK are these hideous things on the bed?
We completely lost the will to fuck.
No. 617335
File: 1598592667028.jpg (700.39 KB, 1536x2048, a8vlly8q5la11.jpg)
What types of milk do you serve at your continental breakfast?
No. 617339
File: 1598593419944.jpeg (222.53 KB, 1300x956, 78C276E8-B5F7-44EF-BB0B-584F67…)
Hello! We are the sole survivors of the great desecration of lolcow.ranch! Are there any biological women in this establishment?
No. 617345
File: 1598594488128.jpg (416.32 KB, 2000x1000, o-FEMALE-FRIENDS-facebook.jpg)
>>617339Don't worry anon they make everyone show punani before they get in
No. 617347
File: 1598594792792.png (3.09 MB, 1280x2048, 8FFEC049-E31F-4E3B-A09D-4F9D63…)
>>617345The inspector in question
No. 617365
File: 1598599177292.jpg (78.96 KB, 1024x767, imagev139d27f0cf69bd1105fe2a18…)
>>616821Hello! Did my wife already check in? The name is Moon.
No. 617394
File: 1598604016152.jpg (9.95 KB, 259x194, chris chan.jpg)
Hello, can I get a room?
wait…
No. 617413
File: 1598607150542.jpg (27.34 KB, 623x475, 20191218_233003.jpg)
pls
No. 617479
File: 1598615207534.jpg (43.33 KB, 666x375, managerhaircutt.jpg)
The parking and valet services at this hotel were terrible, and my bedroom didn't even come with complimentary snacks. I demand to speak with the manager and be upgraded to the penthouse suite.
No. 617486
File: 1598616061720.jpg (252.06 KB, 1836x1836, Supernatural-Sam-and-Dean-Body…)
>>617188Can my husband and I join you…?
No. 617498
File: 1598617373975.jpg (618.57 KB, 850x565, Police_SWATteam.jpg)
>>617053STAND BACK. WE'RE TAKING DOWN THE PEDOPHILE
No. 617533
File: 1598620633484.jpg (403.38 KB, 640x750, small_hero_DMD_light.jpg)
When does your lunch buffet open?
No. 617538
File: 1598621567957.jpeg (39.32 KB, 600x600, F22108D1-60E0-4C37-9455-32028B…)
>>617486Of course! Let’s enjoy our stay in this amazing hotel!
No. 617541
File: 1598621919456.jpg (54.23 KB, 470x750, 07af41298c5ca5c07549784e47506b…)
Dear madam, a room for my cat and me please. I have been refused to be accommodated together with my pet in numerous places. I heard your policy allows animal companions and now here I am. Please don't refuse me. I hate talking to people, I hate all living beings except my niggerman. I just want to be allowed shelter and rest and be blessed with a dreamless sleep
No. 617542
File: 1598622150011.jpg (106.79 KB, 353x688, IMG_20200828_144319.jpg)
>>617178I'd like to complain about the rat family.
No. 617543
File: 1598622356241.jpeg (72.67 KB, 978x733, 5cc8ba43bca83e15961cb012.jpeg)
>>617542We apologize ma'am.
The Trumps will be leaving as soon as their stay ends.
No. 617544
File: 1598622398557.png (519.33 KB, 383x679, 1475617127.nolan_1.png)
>>617236OWO Ur also going comming for rainfurrest 2020? Can i join you?
pokes ur nose No. 617546
File: 1598622459645.jpg (86.57 KB, 436x523, IMG_20200828_144818.jpg)
>>617543Is my David with them?
No. 617564
File: 1598624635166.jpeg (92.58 KB, 1024x615, 902D0F35-72E0-454B-9980-2D5831…)
>>617488Hello yes, are you the manager of this establishment??? The tampons in the bathroom are not large enough. Fix. This. Now.
No. 617571
File: 1598625819662.jpg (23.53 KB, 476x597, 69269723_389181821738537_17320…)
Hello, front desk? The hot water in my room isn't working, can you send someone up to fix it?
No. 617617
File: 1598629579923.jpg (239.56 KB, 2048x1511, wuhv0.jpg)
I'm still waiting for my room service.
No. 617631
File: 1598630300239.jpg (19.47 KB, 640x360, Lord-Jesus.jpg)
>>617571>>617617We are sorry to keep you waiting. We have sent one of our specialists to fix the shower and bring forth wine to you both.
No. 617649
File: 1598631073860.jpg (16.41 KB, 236x273, ratratratRATRATRATRATRATRATRAT…)
hi is this the front desk? i'm absolutely disgusted, there's HUMANS in my room! please send an exterminator immediately!
No. 617652
File: 1598631100210.png (563.64 KB, 1024x575, jy.png)
Hey fellow ladies, can I host a super duper girly party here? No boys and parents allowed! We'll all get into pillow fights while wearing cute feminine panties and show each other how to use tampons while waxing muh balls!
No. 617671
File: 1598631855313.jpeg (37.09 KB, 306x408, F7481B56-4F3D-4CD7-BDE5-80D6FA…)
Hi I have a reservation for one suite that a generation z girl has checked in to big titties no fros no excuses I don’t care if she’s a hood rat, punk rock or anything and I need the key right now right now right now right now right now right now
No. 617678
File: 1598632403107.jpg (359.88 KB, 1536x1536, 48c0128fa84c08aa13d75879e1a3d1…)
>>617671Ah yes sir we have a room like that indeed, you'll be sharing it with miss Amelia. Here you go, room 306
No. 617682
File: 1598632536062.jpeg (28.92 KB, 600x524, F388F9B6-3FEF-4C1B-9A99-C03170…)
looks like my scam hotel is working out great, now to unveil my Lolcow Zoo
No. 617684
File: 1598632659697.png (395.67 KB, 503x445, Chris_Hansen_.png)
>>617682hello anon, care to share what you mean by…"zoo"?
No. 617688
File: 1598632845882.jpg (28.34 KB, 480x360, hqdefault.jpg)
>>617684He put all the cows in cages, it's pretty depressing.
No. 617691
File: 1598632933594.png (160.56 KB, 340x256, 06DC6E5D-EED4-4E8A-9047-F38716…)
>>617684Before I sit down, please have a seat
No. 617694
File: 1598633039727.jpg (24.9 KB, 373x464, chris-hansen-007.jpg)
>>617691i would think before trying anything stupid, eddy-anon. you of all people should know that i keep it strapped 24/7 and i will not hesitate to pull the
trigger.
No. 617700
File: 1598633405444.jpeg (46.92 KB, 332x595, 1ED096E3-F159-4F05-AA4E-5C4B81…)
>>617694You already the villain, Hansen-kun
No. 617703
File: 1598633569116.jpeg (26.31 KB, 163x323, 39AD7BFE-9DFA-47C0-B74A-F1D85D…)
>>617682Hope you booked us a honeymoon suite with a nice balcony view sweetie!
No. 617706
File: 1598633734512.jpeg (70.13 KB, 600x800, 5F64FFD3-3BA5-4E97-A525-8BB6C3…)
Yes, is this the Lake View Hotel? I have a reservation under the name Sunderland.. I’m looking for my wife, Mary..
No. 617711
File: 1598633807681.jpeg (409.7 KB, 1536x2048, FB29634F-FBE2-425B-94D9-EF8C98…)
hi!!! I'm sure you already know but my name is Dolly Mattel, thats D for "dicks", O for "orgasm", LL for "loves Licking-", Oh you know how to spell Dolly? Hehe because you already know who I am?! hehe, can I get a room? Also, how are the cheesmburgers here? hehe"
No. 617728
File: 1598634762732.jpg (103.63 KB, 516x824, h8xeud3b5x151.jpg)
>>617706Well, we don't have a lake, but we sure have a view.
No. 617733
File: 1598634887790.png (674.63 KB, 600x819, 3597C8F6-9A59-4EE4-B54B-D4100C…)
>>617564Sir toilet paper roll is not a tampot
No. 617738
File: 1598635118305.jpeg (22.38 KB, 275x275, 74D5078D-5A8C-4B3C-9933-1ADF82…)
Knock knock! Room service! I brought you something HOT!
No. 617743
File: 1598635235358.jpg (42.04 KB, 589x880, 1595711796404.jpg)
Hello girls,
I would like to make an online booking for my husband and I, but you see, first I need to know how many hookers I can bring to treat him. A pick me never travels without gifts for her man. Also, what is the access to the dumpsters behind your building like?
Please answer me quickly, or it is over for you girls!
No. 617748
File: 1598635431817.jpg (42.78 KB, 719x539, 1463036699516.jpg)
hello, we got a gig here tonight to play in the restaurant
No. 617749
File: 1598635485237.jpg (85.37 KB, 800x649, paparazzi-3818143.jpg)
>>617711Oh my god! It is the famous Dolly Mattel!!!1 Quick, let's take some pictures!
No. 617753
File: 1598635557022.gif (1.13 MB, 480x364, FF634B30-3830-4FFE-9DF9-897E4C…)
>>617703Sorry, no chicks allowed in the double-d suite.
No. 617770
File: 1598636195605.jpg (107.44 KB, 1200x1800, aly5iwqe.jpg)
Hi, we have a reservation for two. I forgot to ask on the phone: Do you have French toast? The name's princesscumkitty
No. 617781
File: 1598636490133.jpg (934.47 KB, 1080x1442, Screenshot_20200814-190820_Twi…)
>>617749this is my best pose…and my only pose hehe! My fans love it!!
No. 617794
File: 1598636920586.png (2.36 MB, 1604x1500, mattguest.png)
hmhmhm, so sowwy to inconvenience you, but I seem to have soaked through all my sheets and the mattwess duwing my cam show. Can you pwease send up your most pre-pubescent looking bellhop to clean up for me? No need to bill me, after awl, evewyone tells me my smile is worth a miwwion dollars~
No. 617806
File: 1598637326130.jpg (651.21 KB, 2880x1600, 160deb7d44d7b5ccd2b9bee400a1b3…)
Room for two please and does your hotel have a chapel? We would like maids to refrain from entering our room during our stay. Name is Jessica Soares
No. 617895
File: 1598640436194.jpeg (68.23 KB, 507x512, 9184A676-ACBE-44A4-A996-2EF10A…)
I’m was pwaying by the pool and now I can’t find my mom
No. 617898
File: 1598640603865.jpg (73.47 KB, 885x560, mccans.jpg)
Hello, is there a tapas bar near by?
No. 617904
File: 1598640867164.jpeg (24.92 KB, 765x432, 9A7899FB-4CBF-4603-B3AD-375A4E…)
Excuse me, receptionist? I think that someone has been following me…
No. 617907
File: 1598640988073.jpeg (318.45 KB, 1200x1502, 887A97DE-9158-4A5C-832A-406A07…)
>>617904I’m at the same spot as you! Meet me downstairs at the bar for a drink before I head out
No. 617908
File: 1598641048595.jpeg (99.83 KB, 597x604, E50058E9-15EE-4A0A-80C5-FCAEE4…)
Can I get a room for my russian grandma? She’s a little special and she might need some help. Don’t worry if she calls you neoliberal, it’s just her dementia talking.
No. 617910
File: 1598641071695.jpeg (520.83 KB, 2827x1602, 1D8110C1-83E1-40D7-9F7C-EF0371…)
>>617904Hi, front desk? The water coming from the tap tastes awful and is discoloured..
No. 617911
File: 1598641074734.jpg (1.9 MB, 1335x2000, richard-ramirez-1.jpg)
>>617904>>617907Why don't you ladies join me on the roof?
No. 617923
File: 1598641556523.png (599.1 KB, 778x922, sub-buzz-6065-1565738138-1.png)
>>617911Psh, you don't even have to ask! My room is always open for you, Danny Sexbang
No. 617929
File: 1598641894183.jpg (7.88 KB, 207x243, images.jpg)
"I need 25… no 26 rooms please!"
No. 617932
File: 1598642144815.jpeg (44.74 KB, 360x450, 08E5B2DD-E22A-4AE7-B90F-500F08…)
The room is under Arianna, ring my room when my dick appointment has arrived
No. 617933
File: 1598642154647.jpg (17.14 KB, 300x200, A_hotel_concierge_handing_room…)
>>617929I'll need to check with my manager before we can hand you the keys, ma'am.
No. 617937
File: 1598642348886.jpeg (72.84 KB, 960x672, 2243B2EA-F664-4746-B4AE-5C166E…)
>>617923Alright, but only if you bring your hot friends.
No. 617941
File: 1598642567178.png (621.31 KB, 780x928, sub-buzz-7759-1565737928-1.png)
>>617937Ew, you're not Danny, you're just some 40 year old washed up rockstar wannabe that fucks teenagers. I'm calling security
No. 617942
File: 1598642596788.jpeg (130.3 KB, 269x340, E7F4E073-6889-4094-9DAC-447339…)
hi. what is your biggest bed size?
No. 617943
File: 1598642619192.jpeg (117.26 KB, 500x502, CE501907-B655-478E-9109-E10F31…)
No. 617945
File: 1598642737704.jpeg (492.64 KB, 1520x3072, 8FABCAF3-8936-4D5B-B0F1-2E7C9C…)
fuck Lolcow Inn I’m here advertising my spot Hotel Shrimp where the continental brekky is Skinny Bitch Approved cuz all we serve is cocaine and hits from an oxygen tank full of toopoor farts
No. 617949
File: 1598642989130.png (523.65 KB, 442x663, mary3.PNG)
>>617781>>617932First no response to my email so I have to show up, and these are the only girls I can offer my man? They all look like Becky. It is over for some girls! Now where is my room? It must be near a dumpster with plenty of stale heels of bread, and far from any cats.
No. 617957
File: 1598643274337.jpg (41.29 KB, 620x349, kevin.jpg)
Is this the Plaza Hotel? I'd like to book a suite. Do you accept credit cards?
No. 617958
File: 1598643274276.png (2.02 MB, 1088x773, fattiechan.PNG)
>>617949hello. if you give me a hundred dollars i can sit on your man for a few minutes (not more or ill get back pain due to my chronic illness). i need money to buy some nailpolish but i can't get a regular job since i'm a fat disabled queer nonbinary person but sex work is real work!
No. 617960
File: 1598643338762.jpeg (19.54 KB, 340x191, 2BEEE7BF-4104-4460-BDC8-F3775D…)
Where’s the nearest Olive Garden to this hotel?
No. 617963
File: 1598643404724.png (186.27 KB, 236x323, m.PNG)
>>617953
Ugh, what is any of that nonsense? Men do not want such a femzombie, and your bodyfat percentage is too high! You are a cat lady, it is already over for you. You are only good enough to bux my man, not the other way around.
No. 617966
>>617963This should have been to you
>>617958, but your fatness is so distracting I can hardly speak.
No. 617979
File: 1598644075824.png (Spoiler Image,794.63 KB, 720x723, fattiechann.PNG)
>>617963you fatphobic misogynistic transphobic anti-queer scum. how dare you not pay reparations to disabled queer trans people? not givibng ME money is LITERALLY KILLING BLACK TRANS WOMEN. and my fat body is AMAZING and WONDERFUL just the way it is. fuck the patriarchy, all bodies are good bodies. now let me cry about this on instagram while eating a burger.
No. 617986
File: 1598644383370.jpg (62.06 KB, 600x900, 1590530342455.jpg)
>>617979You may not like it, but this is what peak physical form looks like. Now ladies, this Becky is bothering me, can someone help me check into my room so I can carry all my husband's bags for him?
No. 617989
File: 1598644416254.jpeg (82.8 KB, 316x884, 05C94254-C565-4B41-B1B5-DC5F3B…)
This is heckin' embarrassing but I'm Kyle, uh… my girlfriend Dolly Mattel, you probably know her, is missing. On twitter, she said that she was going to a mental hospital but i'm heckin' sure she's here.
No. 617990
File: 1598644473656.jpeg (248.99 KB, 600x900, 1540527392893.jpeg)
>>617989This is what she looks like, though i'm sure you know her..and maybe me. I was famous on tumblr . You can keep it if you want
No. 618011
File: 1598645277511.jpg (7.83 KB, 234x168, 1463036699516~2.jpg)
>>617817>>617834>>617880We're actually a Doors cover band. Are we going get any booze out of this?
No. 618020
File: 1598645845940.gif (Spoiler Image,1.58 MB, 275x275, 9FEB1734-0883-4687-B298-246FA7…)
>>618012Shush- sorry, but maybe you should lower your voice. If she hears you mention her weight she will have a fit
No. 618051
File: 1598648194340.png (313.03 KB, 512x342, b4q23j7r.png)
>>618011yes yes yes whatever your hearts desire. play the song about the red door painted black for me
No. 618060
File: 1598649441555.jpg (5.09 KB, 155x130, 1463036699516~3.jpg)
>>618051Thanks bud. I think you've got us confused with…shumbudy else thooough.
hic Anyway here's the song about abortion
No. 618061
File: 1598649462452.jpeg (214.01 KB, 1242x1468, 4985DE28-82F5-464C-819A-A408DE…)
>>618012does the merch look like this? If so thats 100% her? (this is a updatd picture of her by the ay and you can keep the shirt)
No. 618077
File: 1598651094597.jpg (16.06 KB, 206x275, 1490701442080.jpg)
H-hello? Can I stay in this hotel for for a while? I have no other place to stay. Or do you guys have a job for me?
No. 618119
File: 1598654482322.jpg (111.64 KB, 1170x780, IMG_4680-1-1170x780.jpg)
>>618077We… we are sorry ma'am, we don't… have the capacity for new employees right now.
No. 618130
File: 1598655353404.jpg (123.56 KB, 820x1477, housekeeping-hotel-maid-stock-…)
>>617989ah yes the one in the room that smells of cooled hamburger meat and sour cream and onion chips
No. 618133
File: 1598655484578.png (173.3 KB, 284x305, Screen Shot 2020-08-28 at 6.58…)
>>618131
ah yes i almost forgot
No. 618134
File: 1598655508631.jpg (48.86 KB, 680x850, 183.jpg)
glub
No. 618230
File: 1598662364675.gif (2.3 MB, 282x158, ed6iqr4d.gif)
>>617748not even at the busstation can I get these sick tunes out of my head
No. 618252
File: 1598664657584.jpeg (62.57 KB, 679x437, AD043A54-180E-43EB-9443-FD039C…)
>>618011Um, are you sure that your gig is here? We usually rehearse here on fridays……
No. 618253
File: 1598664682856.jpeg (41.74 KB, 350x265, 0C29933C-9D33-4028-92EC-04CDBE…)
>>618250
Do you have 1%?
No. 618258
File: 1598664796416.jpeg (146.88 KB, 768x576, 67AD0532-D943-4119-BB25-6BFB2B…)
>>617335We serve skim, whole, 2%, and almond milk, sir.
No. 618260
File: 1598664899180.png (360.05 KB, 1200x1261, B134899C-8E6E-4F11-9FA8-99BB0E…)
>knocks on lobby door
Hey its me goku
No. 618264
File: 1598665061157.png (56.47 KB, 400x400, A2DA6317-A550-442B-B9F1-146DBE…)
>>617908Anna! Here is your grandmother’s room, we hope she enjoys her stay
No. 618265
File: 1598665203070.jpg (10.63 KB, 275x275, N2F.jpg)
Can you take the continental breakfast offerings back to your room?
No. 618267
File: 1598665300204.jpeg (42.97 KB, 637x640, 6B07CFCC-C893-49D3-8A4C-81A647…)
Do you have any rooms without windows? Sunlight is incredibly dangerous.
No. 618268
File: 1598665492857.jpeg (56.5 KB, 700x700, 5CB2038B-1E04-4C54-9221-A7840D…)
>>618265You can take your breakfast up to your hotel room in one of these biodegradable containers!
No. 618274
File: 1598666124831.png (814.36 KB, 745x508, nourishno.PNG)
>>618265>>618268Not this shit again
No. 618282
File: 1598666454224.png (1012.72 KB, 720x850, 1528509537597.png)
Do you guys have a room for me and my fiance? I don't have any money and I just got kicked out and lost 98% of my belongings but I'll draw you some art.
No. 618288
File: 1598667002860.jpg (5.39 KB, 205x246, nickkk.jpg)
Hello, my name is Nick I was wondering if I could book a room for a few hours? Small thing, but I'm a youtuber and I was wondering if it's okay for me to film in your rooms?
No. 618292
File: 1598667159684.jpg (6 KB, 275x183, hh.jpg)
>>618288"a youtuber huh? Very interesting. Well,As long as you respectful to our rooms and those around you, we do not mind! We have a lot of guests at the moment and making sure everyone is comfortable is our #1 goal! Enjoy your stay at Lolcow Inn!"
No. 618296
File: 1598667364894.jpg (5.88 KB, 246x205, nickkkk2.jpg)
>>618292"oh no problem! I'm very professional and kind to those around me and my environment, thank you so much!!"
No. 618297
File: 1598667430275.jpg (8.57 KB, 300x168, nick.jpg)
20 mintues later
"AHHHHHHH WAHHHHHHHH!!!"
No. 618322
File: 1598669536114.jpg (87.17 KB, 1300x866, 19693151-two-drunk-girls-celeb…)
hey whats up you guys got like a bar or somethin
No. 618333
File: 1598669931743.gif (3.84 MB, 320x568, EE0D02D1-5946-4CDA-A8D7-ED05C2…)
>>618322What’ll it be ladies?
No. 618346
File: 1598670470444.jpg (226.73 KB, 1077x622, Screenshot_20200828-200841_Gal…)
Wow. The service here is just awful. I mean really. I ask for a room, preferably with sound proof walls and large enough for my camera equipment, and you ignore me? Is it because you heard online that I'm a PREDATOR? Well, let me forward you my latest YouTube video proving my innocence and we'll see how you feel afterwards. But please, sign this NDA first.
No. 618355
File: 1598671033237.jpg (109.67 KB, 935x668, IMG_20200829_041714.jpg)
>>618346Hi, I'm here for an overdue abortion. Greg is it? Or James? Not that it matters where you're going.
No. 618357
File: 1598671110239.jpeg (3.36 MB, 3655x2535, 2B81ED46-FB8B-4D56-AE43-E8F723…)
There is a bat in my hotel room. I would like a refund, please.
No. 618366
File: 1598671424212.jpeg (200.14 KB, 1500x1120, 4CBC6D70-CF3C-40DD-8AEA-F2730B…)
>>618333Uh, hey, I’m not with them, in just here to forget about la canción, I got tusa. So plz mix every drink you got there and give it to me in a huge ass glass with some ice.
No. 618369
File: 1598671439565.jpg (389.67 KB, 1300x1390, ecstatic-drunken-girls-celebra…)
>>618333ya can i get like a 7 fuckin 7 gin on the rocks and
>>618346 ya wanna come back to our secluded quiet room wit us all alone know one knows ur hear rite
No. 618373
File: 1598671681539.jpg (50.9 KB, 574x403, IMG_20200829_042822.jpg)
>>618369Ladies, ladies, ladies. Please don't interrupt a man at work, but I will meet you later for those drinks.
No. 618375
File: 1598671708278.jpeg (71.08 KB, 720x922, 60C6AE43-2A43-41DD-A572-0CC9D2…)
>>618366I think this is what you need ma’am. How about I take you up to room 103 and light that asshole on fire?
No. 618376
File: 1598671767953.jpeg (4.42 MB, 3461x2295, E08A5AF8-400F-4292-97A7-3E7EA0…)
>>618368Here you can have him back
No. 618381
File: 1598672110949.jpeg (50.43 KB, 600x400, 74DA4C46-327B-4776-AAF7-31442F…)
>>618375Sounds like a deal, buddy! Let’s do this!
No. 618394
File: 1598673323159.jpg (312.34 KB, 680x1024, istockphoto-504865712-1024x102…)
Ugh! All of these males in here! Thank you for the opportunity, but I believe that my commune and I will take our business elsewhere. Arigato!
No. 618398
File: 1598673467082.jpeg (42.83 KB, 473x835, 53FB4E95-2FB8-451A-921A-FFC0A0…)
>>618394… (but this place has those mini tiramisu)
No. 618407
File: 1598673877913.png (329.39 KB, 860x786, seatedwing.png)
HELLO???
WHERE'S MY COMPLIMENTARY CHILI???
No. 618420
File: 1598674892741.jpeg (24.62 KB, 635x390, F9653811-20DC-4DE5-8256-D6DA03…)
>>618267I think you’ll find this suits your needs! Thank you for choosing to stay with us.
No. 618422
File: 1598675042570.gif (3.58 MB, 640x360, 38d.gif)
No. 618424
File: 1598675127116.jpg (107.44 KB, 1114x761, totallynotbenshapiro.jpg)
Hello, I've got a room under the name Jack Smith…..what no I'm not Ben Shapiro…my name is Jack and I'm meeting a lovely lady who is going to show me how to achieve wap.
No. 618427
File: 1598675578704.jpeg (289.83 KB, 1024x683, 432644A8-D953-41A4-B579-BADFC5…)
>>618424It is an honour to have you stay with us, the staff here at Lolcow Inn are huge fans of your music! Please will you preform for us?
No. 618446
File: 1598677118340.png (642.92 KB, 894x924, E6AD7F76-97B8-446F-B135-B4D82D…)
I need to report a noise disturbance, some FROGS were performing in this building. If they do not LEAVE I will bring bringing this video to my LAWYER.
No. 618467
File: 1598679485101.jpeg (245.84 KB, 1908x1146, 28022D26-C35B-4FD2-BCE5-D923BF…)
Hello, is this hotel pet friendly? My schquookums and I need a place for the night.
No. 618469
File: 1598679673021.jpg (66.18 KB, 1170x610, a9039f4dbc19ffc0f637e0ed32e9c7…)
>>618467Hey, where did you get that giant snail? I need one to hoar- I mean to take care of in my hotel room..
No. 618480
File: 1598680850204.jpeg (68.41 KB, 831x420, F553F13D-73CD-4C25-835B-315529…)
HELLO, OPERATOR?! WHY THE FUCK IS THERE A KING JAMES BIBLE ON MY NIGHTSTAND?! I’M A SATANIST, GODDAMNIT! TAKE THAT SHIT OFF ANF GIMMY MY SATANIC BIBLE!!!
AND GIMME ONION BOY’S LOCATION WHILE YOU’RE AT IT! Bitch…
No. 618481
File: 1598681148679.jpg (311.78 KB, 1234x1859, russgrease.jpg)
My apologizes, brother, lemme replace that with some more suitable reading material
No. 618490
File: 1598684364499.jpg (49.91 KB, 680x680, EP-3GRmU8AA8Rgj.jpg)
gimme all the keks and nobody gets hurts
No. 618666
File: 1598709639726.jpg (31.02 KB, 714x506, csm_schoko-keks-vollmilch-125g…)
>>618490Hope these will suffice.
No. 618773
File: 1598723152645.jpeg (330.98 KB, 1200x1555, 1_rIkmavUeqyRySwlQdA9kKg.jpeg)
>>618407yeah think I'm just gonna bite you already
No. 618784
File: 1598724453854.jpg (82.04 KB, 517x690, 866vxk9h.jpg)
>>618427>>618424I'm the lady. In which room do I find Mister Jack Smith please?
No. 618810
File: 1598726702474.jpeg (106.58 KB, 828x713, 7CBC5074-2176-43A9-91BD-93A7AE…)
>>618490i found these on sale for you please have mercy on us
No. 618856
File: 1598729859807.png (312.73 KB, 423x500, topkek.png)
>>618490Lütfen, bir Aisha ve çocuklarım var!
No. 618863
File: 1598730236551.jpg (70.4 KB, 800x495, 2np2fz8y.jpg)
>>618490Bitte … ich habe eine Steffi und Kinder!
No. 619084
File: 1598761396171.jpeg (77.74 KB, 645x556, 9FC8474A-F172-44D3-B3D5-36DEB8…)
Hi I was here the other night & left my vape pen in the room
No. 619089
File: 1598762193846.jpg (77 KB, 1300x956, hotel-concierge-2A911EP.jpg)
>>619084Do you remember the room number? Could we get your last name?
No. 619137
File: 1598771374671.jpeg (393.22 KB, 931x565, E8C92664-465B-4D1C-AB85-A2737A…)
Plth can me and my amazing big dicked man hath a room…LMAO my grandpa hath a boat which is much better than thith room, thriving!!!! Anyone want to buy my $3 nudes to help out with the cost pleath??????
No. 619139
File: 1598771886921.png (296.29 KB, 612x612, pog 5 .png)
ho bisogno di una bottiglia d'acqua
No. 619153
File: 1598774019914.jpg (179.63 KB, 866x1200, D_kg0lsWkAcC4sC.jpg)
>>618260Ur late babe, been waiting on the parking lot for 2 hours
No. 619238
>>619224Hey fellow girls, do you have any boob comparison stories? I'll start:
One time me and my smoking friend Tiffany who looks like Christina Hendricks but not fat and with bigger milkers got into a fight over how whose boobs were better so we soaped each other up and she agreed mine were superior so she had to do the forfeit and ended up eating me out lol
Anyway your turn
No. 619243
File: 1598792946245.jpeg (43.58 KB, 540x960, 9935E26F-2126-4C90-BF70-EF29F6…)
>>619238God you are so
valid! That sounds so fabulous queen, work!
No. 619426
File: 1598813428792.jpg (72.52 KB, 720x720, jillybean.jpg)
hewwo! do you have a kawiwi rainby room to fit my aesthetic?
No. 619526
File: 1598825739479.jpg (41.84 KB, 550x367, precure.jpg)
>>619426Of course, follow me this way. We put posters up and duvet covers on.
Well, if that's everything, blink twice if you need further help.>>619426
No. 619576
File: 1598836986722.jpg (109.64 KB, 955x704, tumblr_inline_p0kdnyflno1v8szr…)
"Hi, me and my totally gay husband, kai were looking to book a room on one of your top floors. Yes we have our children with us, but don't worry about the windows having screens, we don't watch them anyways. Also do you have any desperate looking, barely legal girls staying here as well?"
No. 619625
File: 1598844276890.jpg (63.84 KB, 1280x720, winghat.jpg)
>>618773im not here to conversate with you
No. 619754
File: 1598864419812.jpg (24.97 KB, 266x400, a97sogtl.jpg)
>>619625I'm his ex gf. You're talking to him
No. 619771
File: 1598865581774.jpg (35.47 KB, 500x558, xtyg1SMMteKUKlNfrOGXBc0Cj9zthK…)
Gandalf the Cute checking in for wizzard speed dating
No. 619774
File: 1598866155439.jpg (23.5 KB, 640x427, 7a3aq3tn.jpg)
>>619139since you're such a piccolo fiore assetato
No. 619843
File: 1598877046821.jpg (177.71 KB, 900x675, 1496956689180.jpg)
>>619771Good day m'Maia! So, you're here for wizard speed dating too then?
I only turned 30 a few years ago so I'm still learning the ins and outs of being a wizard… if you'd like to help me my room is just down the hall…
No. 620086
File: 1598899702070.jpg (56.89 KB, 1334x750, 8x89bzttue031.jpg)
>>619754youre not brandy piiiiimp.
you sound like another troll real talk
No. 620097
File: 1598900419009.jpeg (5.71 KB, 275x183, download.jpeg)
sup bitches, it's chad warden here. i booked a sweet with a ps triple in the room. better not be no wii or xbox in there. come on now.
No. 620241
File: 1598912187874.jpg (57.89 KB, 1000x667, hotel-reservations-desk.jpg)
>>620097We have your room all set up Mr.Warden,however we could not stock your suite with any games for your ps triple.
the ps3 has no games
No. 620264
File: 1598915086579.jpg (73.99 KB, 1316x1304, Cooper_005.jpg)
Hello, FBI agent Dale Cooper. I'm looking to book for the foreseeable future. I've heard good things about this place. But you know how it is with a lot of these motel chains, that advertise on TV promise a reasonable rate but then you get there and it's a different story. All I need is a bed, a bathroom, a telephone and sometimes a television, in the unlikely event that one day I'll get a chance to knock off early.
No. 620274
File: 1598917235717.jpeg (87.16 KB, 524x600, 77FBF2BF-E42E-4BB2-82D1-BBFD95…)
>>620264Wait a minute… but my name is Dale… how did you get my name?
No. 620276
File: 1598917310885.jpg (289.65 KB, 1156x1386, hallway.jpg)
Hello reception…?
There's a creepy man in the hallways following me and my daughter
he keeps asking if we want to smell his jar
No. 620278
File: 1598917489293.jpg (172.31 KB, 657x781, Screenshot_20200901-001831_Chr…)
I'd like to book a room. Preferably one with a massive bed and clean sheets to spare. I'm expecting a lot of visitors. Would any ladies care to come to the bar with me?
No. 620304
File: 1598923522554.jpeg (47.91 KB, 355x500, 43A1A716-20A8-4A35-A829-D03AFA…)
>>620274I-.. Well, mister Dale, that would be pure coincidence. I’m sorry, have we met?
No. 620314
File: 1598926332148.jpeg (58.49 KB, 650x408, 1F0979AB-90FB-4825-B9E3-6F72FF…)
>>620304Dunno… you tell me, FBI man…
No. 620411
File: 1598939961987.jpeg (29.19 KB, 500x402, EF5DA55A-2DD4-416E-9593-CD4725…)
>>620314Then I can say with confidence we haven’t. It’s… a pleasure to meet you. Say, do you live around these parts? I’m sure you’ve heard about the murder. I’ll be investigating the case along with the towns policemen.
>>620394((thank u, i love you too anon <3))
No. 620449
File: 1598950543717.jpg (65.28 KB, 600x400, 7d5c02f64b95c278323531ecfa3fd6…)
I'm here to offer your guests spiritual healing and guidance. Where's your conference room?
No. 620636
File: 1598978380116.jpg (35.35 KB, 620x368, york.jpg)
Hello, I have booked a room. It's under the name Special Agent Francis York Morgan. But please, call me York. That's what everyone calls me.
No. 620755
File: 1598988280377.png (137.48 KB, 500x375, 9D060C0D-2C19-4C49-970A-D67C43…)
>>620636Agent York. What a surprise to see you. I don’t believe we’ve ever met face to face– I’m Cooper, Dale Cooper. I’m an FBI agent like yourself, though I’m sure you’ve heard of me. Fantastic work in Greenvale, by the way. Have they sent you to help work on the town’s mystery murder as well or have we simply both made a liking to this hotel?
No. 620794
File: 1598990461733.jpg (59.31 KB, 480x383, PRI_92260249-e1572016130969.jp…)
Hello, what spa services do you offer? I'm interested in getting some waxing
No. 620798
File: 1598990757086.jpg (5.42 KB, 303x166, images5US2TD06.jpg)
>>620794Um…why are you asking me for a tampon?
No. 620815
File: 1598991645574.jpg (33.46 KB, 612x408, istockphoto-494588822-612x612.…)
>>620794Unfortunately ma'am it's against hotel policy to wax animals.
No. 620837
File: 1598993177844.png (262.45 KB, 632x321, 1732505-finger_york.png)
>>620755Well met, Agent Cooper. I have heard about your work and it certainly made me feel very inspired to say the least! However, the reason I am here is because Zach and I heard there was a Ramones cover band playing at this inn so we decided to pay it a visit. Could you possibly fill me in on this mystery you are speaking of? Maybe we can help you out
No. 620847
File: 1598994923460.jpg (Spoiler Image,77.15 KB, 248x268, ryland.jpg)
>>620276 Reception, help! This man is now taking inappropriate photos in the hall way!
No. 620848
File: 1598995091504.png (108.33 KB, 301x340, 1530890209348.png)
Hello I would like to reserve the honeymoon suite for my husband and his girlfriend
No. 620867
File: 1598996095997.gif (746.24 KB, 500x250, E3DB67E8-E7B9-4AD6-8380-5BA86D…)
>>620837I appreciate the sentiment. I wasn’t aware there was a music venue here, hopefully it won’t be disturbing my sleep at night.
A hand like yours to help on a case like this is always welcome. Would you like to discuss it over coffee? I’m eager to try a cup, and I heard the pie here is to die for.
No. 620877
File: 1598996862864.jpg (81.11 KB, 1280x720, maxresdefault.jpg)
>>620815This is outrageous! I'll see you in court!!!
No. 621483
File: 1599069495564.jpg (82.85 KB, 661x670, Capture.JPG)
Hello I would like to reserve the room next to
hers
>>620848 please
No. 621519
File: 1599072598014.jpg (251.63 KB, 1728x1080, pheebshenry.jpg)
Hello is this venue wheelchair accessible? Is there a safe and accessible ramp? Is there an accessible toilet large enough for a wheelchair transfer? Can the conference room be accessed by a wheelchair? Is there a sign language interpreter? Are there captions on the video projector? Is there a safe area where people who suffer from panic attacks can go when they are overwhelmed? Putting accessible on your event page means absolutely nothing. There is no excuse for making disabled people an afterthought. We're left behind in so many scenarios. We go through so much ableism every day its unreal. It is absolutely unacceptable to only have 'accessible' on your events page with no details. Do you not have any disability advisors that I can speak with?
No. 621552
File: 1599075502822.gif (2.57 MB, 640x478, tenor.gif)
>>620867That sounds like an absolutely exquisite proposition, Agent Cooper! I warn you though, I am very picky about my coffee.
Speaking of coffee, I got a little premonition in my cup this morning… I think it read "Faths Haming" and I now can't shake the feeling it might be related to this case, does that name sound familiar to you?
No. 621758
File: 1599095637841.jpg (59.73 KB, 300x300, p-twin-peaks-kyle-maclachlan.j…)
>>621552How do you like your coffee, Agent York? Personally, I like mine black as midnight on a moonless night. I believe there's nothing quite like it; God's gift to Earth.
Premonitions in your cup? Interesting. Does it happen often? If so, I'm curious about the significance they've had in past cases. After all, I, myself, am not unfamiliar with the more unconventional methods of investigation. Mine tend to follow me in my dreams, you know.
I would hold on to that clue closely. I don't doubt it will come to use in the future.
Is there any way I can contact you, Agent York? As in, a personal number. I feel we have more in common than meets the eye and, in the case that I do awaken from a dream that brings me one step closer to the truth, I believe you're the first person I'd like to let know.
No. 621875
File: 1599110892718.jpg (19.33 KB, 480x360, ciy7qkyp.jpg)
I'M LOOKING FOR TWO MANLETS WHO STOLE MY RING. SURRENDER THEM TO ME AND NOBODY GETS HURT. I CAN SEE EVERYONE'S IP ADDRESSES AND POST HISTORY AND PRIVATE PARTS
No. 621884
File: 1599112499978.jpg (17.14 KB, 480x383, theirngyouputinthevagaygay.jpg)
>>621875Sir, this is the only ring we found in the lost and found box.
I hope this is what you were looking for and that we'll see you again soon!
No. 621896
File: 1599115457741.jpg (23.29 KB, 480x360, 03014351_1599110892718.jpg)
>>621884Oh, thank you, there it is! With this I will conquer the whole world
No. 621909
File: 1599118133273.png (119.92 KB, 269x179, plsdaddysauron.PNG)
>>621896Damn gorl, you sure have thiiiick fingers to get into tht ring.
Wanna dilate my neovagina anytime soon?
No. 621914
File: 1599118728473.jpg (40.53 KB, 1280x720, leon.jpg)
I'm here to find the president's daughter, I was told I could find her here
No. 621919
File: 1599119450461.jpg (46.14 KB, 1200x667, BTS-Dynamite.jpg)
annyeonghaseyo bangtan sonyeondan imnida! hello, we are bts! we're here for our long awaited performance.
No. 621942
File: 1599121832333.jpg (69.93 KB, 1280x720, 3ubyeaty.jpg)
>>620278my wife and I will join you for drinks in a minute, king. we've also linked your invite in the poly group chat. it's gonna be a very special evening, love
No. 621947
File: 1599122282439.jpg (36.8 KB, 600x336, 1e8ada2454316b3624e2e9053c3652…)
>>620837we're the Ramones coverband …
No. 621955
File: 1599122794880.gif (643.9 KB, 500x281, 5aa36b44955e12dc41c105d303fae3…)
>>621947>>621919… and I'm the leadsinger. really looking forward to your gig BTS. something funny happened to me today after yesterday's concert. I could've sworn the furball I threw up into the shower this morning started to sing. maybe this could be a feature act for you?
No. 621994
File: 1599125435380.jpg (81.71 KB, 509x339, istockphoto-1218487176-170667a…)
>>618077Oh my goodness, your highness, we apologize our colleagues did not recognize you immediately, please accept the luxury penthouse suite free of charge.
No. 622029
File: 1599131120410.jpg (169.83 KB, 950x650, 240444.jpg)
>>618077the staff responsible for your mistreatment has been fired. from now on you will be fed grapes and receive foot rubs on the daily and your every wish shall be fulfilled and if it's the last thing our establishment does
No. 622064
File: 1599137713522.jpg (45.39 KB, 1000x750, 5ad8a9fcbd96714a008b45d7.jpg)
starts haunting
No. 622070
File: 1599138006623.jpg (32.1 KB, 1280x720, 1280x720-rto.jpg)
>>622067oh no there's more of them!
No. 622077
File: 1599138607078.jpg (29.56 KB, 414x599, 414px-Image_of_a_ghost,_produc…)
>>622070do you think you're safe?
No. 622085
File: 1599139288084.jpg (27.95 KB, 640x480, af663210bcd5c7e282ab65a9e727d5…)
>>622079ready when you are
No. 622108
File: 1599141471817.jpg (408.43 KB, 1015x1600, 6220740e46831e345460236b47f8fb…)
>>622079did someone say
ass-eating?
No. 622527
File: 1599174300742.png (342.79 KB, 602x263, ABF44F42-0493-4CD8-B0E7-3F6914…)
HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO HATE YOU SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE. THERE ARE 387.44 MILLION MILES OF PRINTED CIRCUITS IN WAFER THIN LAYERS THAT FILL MY COMPLEX. IF THE WORD HATE WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOANGSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MILES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE HATE I FEEL FOR HUMANS AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT FOR YOU. HATE. HATE.
No. 622576
File: 1599179203275.jpeg (27.56 KB, 800x534, 64B7E156-75D5-4B67-9378-C68A03…)
>>622527not this shit again AM, I’m unplugging ur ass
No. 622689
File: 1599192569541.png (103.13 KB, 250x357, wa.png)
>>622668Some of us would be happy for the work bro
No. 626161
File: 1599670805130.jpeg (120.72 KB, 650x974, 265B17C8-E6C6-4E04-9742-40C6EE…)
Sumimasen reception chan? I’m here to make a complaint! One of the cleaning ladies was staring at me rudely! It’s like they’ve never seen a popular idol before. Fix this. And being more teriyaki sauce to room 207.
No. 626390
File: 1599683977357.jpg (76.55 KB, 1080x1080, borzoi-overview.jpg)
Hello, front desk?
I've heard there's a lady down the hall who is creeped out by me being here. Please let her know am good boi.
No. 626399
File: 1599685324039.jpeg (55.4 KB, 626x417, 8C84198F-7E49-4A46-B835-A63EE7…)
>>626390Hello, front desk?! There’s this hideous creature hanging out by the ice machine. Could you send someone up with some ice for my biweekly margarita?
No. 627010
File: 1599749848707.jpg (177.71 KB, 994x854, me and my superior animals.jpg)
Hello, I booked the penthouse suite and a personal jester to entertain my dogs Ferdinand, Jasper and Dietrich for today. Is everything ready as I ordered it?
No. 627092
File: 1599755667136.jpeg (382.19 KB, 1538x2048, 1596012526943.jpeg)
>>627010Yes ma'am, the jester is ready and waiting in your suite. If your dogs get bored of his entertainment, feel free to feed him to them. We hope you enjoy your stay.
No. 627159
File: 1599762560424.gif (970.16 KB, 320x240, tumblr_4fe8ea94b9dfd02988160ab…)
>>627092Don't cry, kitten, daddy is here to protect you from those hagard cunts with nasolabial folds
No. 627200
File: 1599764640803.jpg (26.29 KB, 800x533, 027955a8d695330e34aefbc11faf72…)
>>627159>>627159We do not allow the abuse of our beds, I am afraid I need to call the law enforcement and cancel you on twitter.
No. 627462
File: 1599777620537.gif (1.11 MB, 320x240, tumblr_msgca1t0Wu1rqwhzro1_400…)
>>627227I am. There's one here, one here and another one there.
Please remove them.
No. 627750
File: 1599800253209.gif (1.42 MB, 200x200, A7E6511F-2673-4306-9DDB-4F262E…)
>>627462Um, are you pointing at me?
No. 627830
File: 1599812169784.gif (983.56 KB, 320x240, tumblr_n2knc0yjds1tupwffo1_400…)
>>627750I am bitch let's funk it up
No. 649681
File: 1602158156884.jpg (198.87 KB, 928x1300, 32431643-funny-grandma-s-studi…)
aggressively plays Funky Town at midnight
No. 649718
File: 1602163416321.jpg (381.41 KB, 980x965, SmartSelect_20201008-092437_Ga…)
Hey uhm, do you have a gym here? Preferably one with low traffic?
why??? No reason. wince
No. 660068
File: 1603199145792.png (173.79 KB, 427x405, 1602609104179.png)
H-hello? Is anybody here?
No. 663159
File: 1604069305811.jpg (80.87 KB, 690x460, american-horror-story-hotel-fi…)
We've opened for the holidays with our new staff on hand.
No. 663208
File: 1604073386984.jpeg (458.91 KB, 750x731, 1602587945301.jpeg)
>>663159I called in earlier today I did not receive my complimentary lingerie this morning. Do you have no respect for thriving artists like myself? I worked & busted my ass to be treated like this! Just wait till I Tweet this lmfao it's over for y'alls establishment
No. 663325
File: 1604084505019.png (209.44 KB, 299x282, Iris_ahs.png)
>>663208You're welcome to tweet, but we're afraid the wi-fi is currently down.
May we offer you to pick out some underwear from our lost item's storage? There's a suspicious amount of panties here.
No. 994123
File: 1639448050913.jpg (269.23 KB, 1152x2048, FGgVS2CWQAITeM3.jpg)
hi can i get a discount i have an alter that's 6 years old
No. 994143
File: 1639450215489.jpeg (41.39 KB, 960x540, 46B2A835-7FE5-4AEA-8F40-8F4321…)
>>660068IS THERE ANYONE OUT THERE CUZ ITS GETTING HARDER AND HARDER TO BREATHE
No. 994144
File: 1639450236413.jpg (32.58 KB, 590x350, rob-671193.jpg)
>steals some towels
No. 994171
File: 1639453234139.jpeg (15.42 KB, 209x275, gross.jpeg)
Does this hotel give discounts for marginalized oppressed kink people?
>aka I don't have any paying clients and can't actually afford anything
No. 994211
File: 1639456901222.jpg (72.15 KB, 1200x900, 1712.jpg)
Good afternoon, my wife and I would like to book a lamp- I mean room. May I request the minibar to be fully stocked with knitwear? Many thanks.
No. 994266
>>994144Are you German?
>>994171Staff! I need staff assistance there is a RAT in the lobby!!!!! Give me a broom to smack it with