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Vent your heart out, ladies!
My boyfriend said he's worried about our relationship due to how materialistic I am, when this only came up because I was voicing I was sad because everyone is buying things they've wanted for years, and I can't because all mine would be coming overseas where post is locked down. I'm also kinda upset because everyone I know is getting unemployment money, 600 a week, however I'm getting paid leave by my work, BUT, I get scheduled once, maybe twice a week because it's shit, so I'm getting paychecks of about 120$ biweekly.
I'm just worried he's right? I can't tell if he's right, I'm just frustrated. I know I can get these things later, but at the moment, I just want to treat myself, as others are doing.
This may sound ignorant, but exactly is the struggle with 3c/4a hair? I'm genuinely curious. As someone with 4c, I always thought looser hair textures looked way easier to maintain.
Anyway, maybe it might be worth investing in a wig? They can be expensive, but I've even seen youtube videos about super cheap amazon wigs, that still look good.
Bruh, this is me, people think because we have some 3c hair it's a walk in the park. The 4a is so hard to deal with, I only have a little bit in the back of my head and I give up, I just bought some henna and I plan on using it weekly to help make my hair more manageable. My goal is to just have 3c all over or at least lessen shrinkage so that it's less prone to knots thus less time focused on detangling.
I hope you find something to help make your hair easier to deal with. I'm avoiding keratin because I heard people have had bad experiences with it and apparently consistent use leads to extreme breakage, however, I think that's only when it comes to protein sensitive individuals.
What kind of "things" are you talking about wanting to buy? Would be an important distinction to figure out your level of potential materialism.
I'm assuming you must be living with your parents or someone is paying for your rent, car payment, food, etc? Sounds like you aren't really worried about these sorts of necessity things. You might be coming off sounding a little spoiled or something if you are fussing over not being able to buy say a purse that all your friends have?
Idk point being times are tough for many people right now, so tough they even can't afford aforementioned things like rent, food, insurance, etc.
Statues I've wanted for years, special boots I've always wanted.
All stuff that like, I've been wanting for YEARS, but I grew up in a lower income family and never could afford anything like that. I'm 21, and have my first job, but like I said, I barely get paid there anyway, so I'm trying to buy a second. This government money just made me excited to finally let myself get the things I've wanted for so, so long.
I live with my boyfriend and a roommate, I don't have a car (rely on ubers, or walking), and I usually buy my own food, but all those expenses beside rent don't matter right now, and even with buying those things, I'd have money to keep for stuff like that when it'll come around.
I definitely get it if I was throwing an absolute fit at all, especially over something that I might lose interest in fast/replace. I tried explaining this to him and his reasoning was that he window shops and will likely not even buy the things he's looking at, while I will… which is dumb and unfair to me..
Did you stop all treatments all together? Thinking about shaving however I have a weird shaped head a even weirder birthmark.>>552012
Not ignorant at all, if you were to compare 4c to 4a hair, yeah it's easier I guess, however it's still the same concept of washing, styling, forever. I just might get a wig, but someone told me to not get a wig if you don't wear makeup due to it looking a lot fake.>>552016
Does henna actually help with making this more manageable? I'm looking for things. I fell for the texturiser meme and screwed my hair once and had to cut it off. Keratin seems so tempting.
nta but for some people henna can relax their hair, my mom went from 3b/3c to 2b with regular application. if you don't mind the tint it'll give ya, i'd say go for it!
i was looking at keratin too before getting in the CG thing (2c/3a) but the only reason i didn't get it was the fuckall way new growth looks, meaning i'd be stuck in a cycle of getting keratin treatments that cost a BOMB every few months
I have severe narcolepsy, I sleep 16-18 hours a day uncontrollably. I get hit with severe sleep attacks that force me to sleep, I fall into REM sleep immediately which messes with my sleep even more. I literally do not have a choice but to pass out. I lost my job last year because I kept passing out on my desk and banging my head on the desk due to just suddenly losing consciousness.
I had gotten better for a little while but it's hit me hard again for the past few weeks. I feel guilty, because of my boyfriend.
I love him, and I feel terrible that I'm not able to spend time with him. I can't give him attention at all, and it's hard for me to do much for the small amount of time that we're both up at the same time.
He raged at me tonight, yelled at me, told me I wasn't even trying to get better (Which I have been trying, there's only so much you can do for narcolepsy and I have no way to get treatment due to being poor), told me that he hates being alone all day and essentially blamed me for it.
This was the first time in several months he's gone off on me like that.
He always seems extremely remorseful for it, but I can't even tell him that it hurts me or else he'll lose his shit even more at me.
I'm hurt that he'd blame me for my narcolepsy when there's nothing I can do about it, medical treatment is too expensive and I have no insurance. I think he didn't mean it and he was just stressed, but I don't know.
Starting to think I should disappear into the wilderness and become a missing person off the grid. I think about killing myself, but I kind of want to stay alive. The guilt is overwhelming though.
I don't know what to do. He's asleep and I'm thinking about telling him how I feel tomorrow but I'm scared he'll rage and scream at me again.
I don't really have anyone or anything to turn to besides LC too. If I message a friend to talk about it he'll ask me who I was talking to or what I was talking about, and I refuse to make a secret account behind his back. I don't mind him asking about who or what I'm saying since I have nothing to hide, but it makes me anxious that he might get mad at me if I were to vent to a friend.
I really thought he had improved and then he pulls this 'taking all his anger out on me verbally' shit again. I'm a fucking doormat and keep forgiving him.
I'm done bitching and we have a tendency to work things out but with my sleeping issues I'm scared, angry, anxious and fed up.
You have a debilitating disease that literally renders you unconscious for most of the day and you got into a relationship? AND you're jobless and poor?
You sound fucking retarded. Your boyfriend could easily be with someone who doesn't have this rare disorder, who can actually be attentive to them.
Realize your position in life and stop trying to distort reality because you "feel" like you want the normal things that are available to normal people. You're not normal, you're literally unconscious for most of the day.
It sounds like you need a caretaker, not a partner who needs a certain level of accountability from you.
Jesus Christ anon, how bitter are you that she’s in an abusive
relationship. Chill the fuck out and show empathy, obviously she didn’t choose to be a fucking neet.
like the other anons said this is highly abusive
. times are very strange right now but please think about leaving this relationship!!(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)
Anon, I'm sorry. My bf used to get cross at me for venting to friends about him as well.
I don't really know what to say except hang in there.
Do you have friends/family you can escape to for a while until things calm down?
It makes even less sense that she's staying in this relationship when it's abusive
What point is there for either of them? She's asleep for over half the day and he is abusive
, how the fuck could this relationship possibly work out?
Stop being delusional and spouting empathy this or that when there's only one solution. She needs to find someone who is more of a caretaker and he needs to find a non-narcoleptic girlfriend.
I have no patience nor empathy for retards who get into situations like these.
You don't need this relationship to survive, it's arguably worsening your condition and health, yet you stay? Why do you want asspats from strangers on the internet who will inevitably prolong your suffering and your shitty relationship, instead of realizing your life is different than that of others and choosing to do things differently?
Creeps seek vulnerable women to take advantage of their low self esteem. Looking very malnourished means them that you got issues and they can use them as a weaoon against you.
Decent men want their girlfriends to be healthy and happy.
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The biggest COVID tragedy has to be my fucking hair. It's getting too long REEEEEEEeee, I can't see shit and I look like a dog. I live alone so considering cutting it myself.
There's only been two times in my life where I've felt legitimately raped that the majority of the planet would just say is my fault.
Once when I was younger and dating apps were relatively new, I invited a guy over who I'd been talking to online because he offered to bring me beer. When he arrived he looked almost nothing like his pics, pretty unhygienic. Back then I used to get my name slandered for rejecting men, and I often had to deal with their aggression or crying episodes from rejections. You could say I felt pressure to not hurt a man's feelings so I entertained his misrepresentation, and thought he could still be alright beyond looks. But no, he was obnoxious and ugly. He kept trying to get me to play "drinking games" but basically they were so calculated that they left no option but to drink. So I didn't because it made me uncomfortable and I felt patronized because it wasn't like I didn't realize he was trying to get me drunk. He got plastered and started to force himself on me and kiss me. I dodged them at first but he became so intoxicated he started to manhandle me into them. At that point I was so anxious about the consequences of rejecting him that I just gave in because I wanted him to just go away. Not long after fucking me with what was thankfully a very small and uninstrusive whiskey penis, he left. I blocked him on the dating site. I believe he was too wasted to remember where I lived cause I never saw him again after that. It took me years in hindsight before I realized how rapey this incident was.
The second time was more about deception. Several years later I was on a dating app again and clicked with a very handsome guy. We talked for hours every day for a few weeks before we met for our first date. He lured me in with some sob story about being recently divorced, and I didn't recognize this lie at the time because I was going through a major life change too. Thought in a way we were two lost souls seeking a connection. Well I met up with him and our date was good, too good you could say. We met first at a cafe, and I thought things went so well that when he asked if I wanted to hang out more I said let's hang out downtown. Again it was great and he was agreeable, lots of physical connection. Because I wasn't used to a date going so well and him being pretty chill, I asked him if he wanted to meet up with my friends and I for dinner which he agreed to again. At that point we had been out together for more than a few hours. He was very cool around my friends and they thought he was cute. It got me thinking I scored a jackpot. Afterwards he offered to invite me over to his house, which I took as a sign that he wanted to fuck. I didn't oppose. He seemed like someone who I wanted, got along with, and who wanted a relationship with me so sex seemed like something I wanted because I felt wanted too. It wasn't like I never had a serious relationship come out of fucking on the first date before so what did I know about it otherwise. His house was pretty messy. He lived with a roommate who I met & he obv didn't say anything to discredit the divorce narrative. He claimed the ex wife up and fled to Europe. Some pictures of him and the wife together were still up and a quarter of her closet remained. Looking back it seemed more like this woman went on a vacation and his scumbag roommate went in on a collaborative story to pretend he was a bachelor so he could get laid while she was gone. She was an extremely gorgeous woman in the pictures and I was hideous and obese in comparison. Well we spent an hour or so watching a tv series until we made our way to the bed. NOT A MINUTE after we're done and cuddling in bed, he looks me straight in the eyes and says in this faux concerned tone while sucking his teeth, "Oooh ya know I actually feel really bad about this. I'm still in love with my ex. Can we be friends?" I was in such shock that I didn't really have a reaction as I got dressed normally. Somehow the shock prevented me from crying or flying into a rage although I deeply regret not doing the latter. We had some talk back and forth about this bullshit. I told him I wasn't going to beg for a relationship and that I didn't need another "friend," he tried to feed me some fake apologies and additionally decided to neg me about how he didn't usually date women "my size." To my credit I laughed and replied "Well apparently you do now!" and he gave me a look. Whatever it was, it was over. I left the house and he locked the door and unmatched me. I remember driving home in tears because I felt so lied to, stolen from, and betrayed. His scheme was so obvious after it was over. It felt like rape because obviously I would have never slept with him if I knew he was just pulling the pig and cheating on his wife, which is why he's a sociopathic liar to women because he's aware of that too.
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My retarded ass just realized that I might actually be in the "vulnerable" group when it comes to covid due to my breathing issues. I hope I'm wrong and overthinking this, but man, this hit me like a truck this morning. I'm lucky I haven't left the house since all of this started and work from home.
that anon probably wasn't literally like "hey bf's mom, i want to kill myself how should i do it lol"
some people love having knowledge that other people don't and feeling superior about it. It's possible that she was too caught up in getting a little ego boost than listening to what she was actually being asked and why. Or maybe she's just a psycho idk.
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my mom just learned yesterday she has stage four metastatic cancer, i'm an only child and the only person in her life. i don't know how to take care of someone terminally ill, i don't know how to take over her bills or deal with insurance companies or hospitals or power of attorney.
She was talking about how someone she knew was threatening to kill themselves, and that their method wouldn't do anything, but that "her method" is guaranteed to kill you. She knows that I have tried to kill myself before, and that I am extremely depressed. I hope and think its like you said, that she just didn't realise and just said a bit too much.
But she also thinks I am a horrific sociopath who will ruin her son and obviously disapproves of our relationship, so I don't know.
Yeah. If anything I wish he was repulsed about me, not the dog, because it's not the dog's fault. I told him in person some time ago (so he can't prove it even if he tells other people, there's no chat log or anything…). He's the only person besides my mom, myself and my old doctor who knows. Mom and doctor only know because as I said I ended up in the hospital at that time
I learned my lesson here. I felt the need to share this and I regret it so much. Considering I was 16 at the time as well I didn't think he'd feel this way because it's been so long ago. I expected he'd be disgusted but not that he'd feel this way about interacting with the dog
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Getting real tired of media making excuses for men murdering their families. There's really no excuse for this-especially the shitty one they give here. Not sure if this is just a UK thing but it happens a lot here.
Just got back from hanging out with the neighbors again. Apparently it's the running joke that I'm some kind of antisocial freak? Whatever, I own it when I'm there and go with the joke lest I make it awkward. And yet it's crazy how they think I'm such an introvert. Apparently I, anon, would stay in my room 23 hours a day if they let me. Alluding to the fact that most times I don't go out to the bars with them cause I don't really feel like that scene sometimes and I'd prefer to go with friendd. These people get into bar drama fyi. I mean just an example of such a jab to imply I stay in too much. I chuckled and replied that I love being in my room and it's the only safe place against the likes of them freaks. We all laughed. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. But actually.
Then they gave me the side eye because I took a break from the second round of yahtzee to answer texts on my phone on the couch and to also give my ass a break from their uncomfortable ass chairs. Their dog sat on my lap which made it extra cozy and gave me a reason to stay. When I came back for round three they acted strange to me like I had been rude or a freak to have done that. It was gotten over quickly but…? I had no idea what I did was so faux pas. I had been polite in not looking at my phone during our first round of yahtzee.
I dunno, I never considered myself an introvert. I'm not the most extroverted person but I can be around friends I'm comfortable with and, oh right, when I'm actually doing something fun and not awkwardly playing yahtzee with the neighbors cause they're bored extroverts who can't sit still and need to party every weekend?
I do leave for work, groceries, and the basic things that loosening covid restriction allows at such times btw. So yeah, sometimes I wonder if I'm the weird one or if it's other people. I didn't think I was being weird.
I'm trying to but right now because of the pandemic everything is being processed so slowly and because I'm not a risk to myself or others then I don't need immediate help. I can't even reach any clinic but its something that I've wanted to do because at least I'll talk to someone even if that person is being paid to talk to me.>>552367
The problem is that I'm ugly and a bitch. Also, I have no personality so even I'm not even one of those bitchy people who are at least entertaining to be around. I actually don't like anything, and it's hard to have conversations with people when you have no interest in anything other than self harm. But yeah I'm trying to get mental help but this pandemic is making it hard, and I'm also on a diet that seems to be working.
totally agree anon. And it sucks that it only happens in female spaces ad that females do it to each-other.
Like you dont see 19 year old men bullying 30 year men for being gamers.
Only women do this shit.
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Hey, anon… Is there any resources or way to get rid of this sort of thinking ?
I am not shaming people who likes alt-fashion, and ESPECIALLY cosplay at any age, because that's plain dumb. ( I am guilty for shaming ddlg-cows though, or people who are pretending to be 'softies, uwu-im-baby'ies while being twitter/tumblr toxic
-chans. ) I am myself enjoying dolly fashion but I've been raised in a country where the jokes on TV shows are nothing but about domestic abuse, cheating, and about women aging. They also put this kind of crap in your brain ever since you are a kid, and it bothers my mind now since I am about to hit 20s.
Meet more older women and you'll realize that life doesn't end at 30 and you won't turn into a wrinkly old hag at 35. Seconding >>552414
though, it's something that just comes with age.
knew a girl like this, but it was literally a ghost illness that came from intense stress/anxiety.
we were all very understanding and supportive at first; she had intense stomach pain, which is horrible for many reasons. but slowly it ended up being the center of all conversations, and because she was so focused on her own pain, she would barely listen to us trying to relate to her own experiences with illness, pain, depression and anxiety. we just couldn't take it anymore and everyone feels like they're tired of her as a friend.
Do you know what I should search up to find more info on it? And to possibly lessen it?
I'm ESL so it's a little hard, sorry.
late reply, hope you're still checking this thread.
i looked up "triggering
yourself" and a few results came up.
Thanks so much, anon! That's a good start, I hope as I look more into it I can find good info and understand it better.
I really appreciate your help.
Hi fellow french-anon. I'm sorry,I have nothing to say, I'm just happy to see other french anons here. Maybe we should revive the french thread.
I agree that it sucks that places like beach are still closed even for walks, I'm nowhere near the sea but here parks are going to stay closed which is dumb because people are just going to aggregate in other open places. I just want to take a walk in the park godammit. Take care!
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UNREQUITED LOVE SUCKS ASS!!!
FUCK THIS SHIT.
WHY IS MY BRAIN LIKE THIS? FUUUuuuuCK.
first day of déconfinement check: i'm drowning in homework and parks are closed because of the weather. how shall i ever resist going outside?!
How are you French anons doing so far? I hope you're ok, I'm abroad in Japan right now because I have a working holiday visa and corona-chan indirectly fucked up all of my plans, especially when it comes to job hunting, so I'll have to come back way sooner than planned. I'm worried about getting the virus while in the plane or at the airport but I somehow managed to get sick twice in less than three months and I'm still alive so far. I can't even imagine how job hunting is going to be even worse than it was before I left France, hopefully you won't have the same problem.
I've been following the news about France from here and while I do feel pretty bad for small business owners I think the déconfinement is too early, French people are peak contrarians so they don't follow advice or instructions, whether they're good or bad.
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Sick of this shit. there's this retarded chick who is obsessed with me and tries desperately to fuck every guy I know, even though she has a boyfriend. It ranges from groping an underage guy without his consent to asking them details about their dongs.
She showed her breast to my own boyfriend while I was at the stall and he screamed in horror. She keeps talking about how much she loves anal. She mocked a 12 yo rape victim for being a "slut" in front of her face, knowing she is very unstable and got in ward for suicide attempts.
I met a guy who said she tried to strangle him with a chain once. He showed me his scars. I'm scared as fuck of her ass, but since she is """disabled uwu""" and """depressed""" nobody holds her accountable for anything and she always gets away with her bs. She keeps trying to be my friend but whenever I reject her, she tries to ""seduce"" one of my male friends in front of me but fails miserably since she looks ugly as hell and talks like an autist.
I'm not putting up with her shit anymore, I've seen worse people after me, I just want to protect my friends.
i live in the urban area of one of the major cities, in a student area (i'm a student). i was never asked to show my attestation during any point of the confinement and neither have my boyfriend or friends; kinda crazy, right?
you seem healthy you'd probably be fine even if you show symptoms. travelling right now is scary but not a death sentence either!
i've been looking for a summer job online and it's very scarce, especially since resorts and stuff are closed.
with all those clusters popping up, i'm anticipating a second wave…i hope the govt and local politicians take things slow. french people are like hyperactive dogs you let off their leashes; they immediately do the thing they were forbidden to do just because the interdiction is lifted, not because it's safe to do. god.
Have you tried being in control? Get on him and ride him, one thing I like to do is tease my bf and control his dick with my hands and rub it on my clit. Another thing, esp. with riding him is you can bring him close to climax and stop/get off. A trick I learned also was if he is close to climaxing i can gently pinch the head of the penis and it stops him from cumming.
t.someone who went through the exact same thing.
>>552890>Maybe that is related to being abused as a kid idk
It's definitely this. Difficulty with intimacy can arise from literally any type of prolonged abuse in childhood. People tend to believe it's only sexual abuse, but that isn't the case. Intimacy constitutes so much more than just sex.
I wish I could say there was a quick fix to this, but unfortunately, that isn't the case. I've had the same issue in every relationship I've ever been in, and it doesn't seem to matter how I'm being treated by the other party. My sex drive is always very high in the beginning, then slowly tapers off the closer I get to my partner. I start to feel trapped and scared, because that's how I felt with my earliest attachment figures. I've definitely gotten better with this over the years, but my sex drive still waxes and wanes, and isn't very high in general.
Basically, if you don't develop a secure attachment with at least one of your parents, you end up struggling a lot with intimacy and trust in your adult relationships. This is particularly amplified if your partners also have attachment trauma.
I know this is stupid and that I shouldn't let other people's life decisions affect me, but it blows my mind that people are willing to put up with the side effects of birth control and antidepressants. Almost everyone I know is on one or both, and the issues they have are literally constant. There's no escape from it. It's absolute fucking madness to me and makes me so uncomfortable that people are willing to put their bodies through this, especially with antidepressants, which have a low effectiveness rate in general. You're basically just trading in one problem for a whole host of new problems, and the initial problem is never actually resolved all that much to begin with.
Birth control I understand a bit more. Condoms aren't as effective by themselves, and I know I'm taking a bit of a risk by using only these and not some other form of bc. Even so, the side effects and complications of bc sound so much more dangerous that I'm willing to take that risk.
I've tried both, and even on the lowest dosages, I was having horrible side effects. I tried prozac, effexor, celexa and cymbalta. Completely lost my sex drive and it never came back while on the drugs. Could not orgasm at all. Some idiotic quack thought it was a good idea to put me on prozac at age eight. I literally did not have any semblance of a sex drive until I was 16, a few months after I came off it.
With the pill, I tried three different forms and every single one of them turned me into a raving lunatic. I got yeast infections constantly, gained 10+ lbs, had intense cravings for bread and cheese, also lost my sex drive, etc. I literally felt like I was pregnant.
Like, if you use these and don't have side effects, that's awesome and it makes sense that you'd keep using them, but that seems to be the case only for a small minority of people.
I don't like having depression or anxiety, yet it feels more natural for me to just be miserable sometimes than to take pills. Maybe it helps that I view my issues as more environmental and based in trauma, idk.
I hate how men who find out they're cute will let that ego go to their heads so they should be dating like 5 women out of their league at once. I'm glad I don't like dick so I can avoid men pretty much entirely.>>552931
I tried bc on the absolute lowest dosage almost a year ago and I feel like my libido is still shot from it. I just wanted to see if it would clear my acne but it gave me the worst 3 months of acne I'd had my whole life on top of feeling like I was a pissed off psycho all the time. My other emotions felt completely gone outside of being pissed and I gave up on it. I also just bled every single day instead of a normal week in a month. Never touching bc again since it didn't cure what I wanted and I want to be with women anyway.
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Currently feel internet homeless and it sucks because I can't hang out with anyone irl right now and have relied too much on online communication for far too long.
>remaining old irc haunts are full of drug-addicted losers who never grew up, every year someone ODs, kys themselves, or gets arrested
>usenet is dead
>something awful is dead
>troll culture is dead
>twitter is full of try-hards, no meaningful convos in sight
>favorite reddit subs have become overtaken by edgy literal children or smug progressives
>grew out of online activities well over a decade ago
>imageboards are anonymous, discussion is usually repetitive and shallow, can't make connections
>gossip sites outside of lolcow are shit and full of nutters
>special interest forums are slow-moving and full of boomers
>most active online communities in general are full of pseuds or mouth-breathers who communicate in memes
>most active online communities in general are constantly derailed by bottom-barrel political shitflinging
Where do people go to escape this torture?
tbh anon, you sound like someone who is too caught up in your own personal value system and what you believe constitutes "proper" feminism, that you are unable to accept that others don't feel the same way. the irony here is that your friends probably feel makeup and nudity is empowering for completely different reasons from what you are trying to argue make them disempowering, so your argument is essentially falling on deaf ears.
that being said, you're completely justified in wishing you had more like-minded friends. it sounds like the people you're hanging out with have very different values from you.
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Turns out my ex (drifted apart like a year ago, we still talk) who I only recently started feeling like a heartbroken teenager for is a cheater. Today I saw his ex gf from a few months ago make a post about him so I anonymously messaged her and she told me all about it. He manipulated her before dumping her to date some other girl.
Of course thats just one side of the story and it's not very like him, but who knows how someone can change in a year.
Regardless, I don't feel bad anymore.
I'm especially worried about catching the virus because once I'm back in France I'll go live with my family until I get a job and can afford my own place. My mother is immuno-compromised, she's the type who has to get a flu vaccine every year and who barely goes out in the winter because of normal epidemics, I don't want her to catch anything because of me.
>i've been looking for a summer job online and it's very scarce, especially since resorts and stuff are closed.
I'm not surprised. One of my siblings is about to graduate and has been looking for job offers both for herself and for me and she told me there's barely any job offers for September compared to previous years. I was also thinking about getting experience abroad so I could maybe start working in the tourism industry while preparing my application for my visa but now that's not even an option anymore. A friend who was hired abroad in a company in the tourism industry told me thousands of employees got laid off soon after she got hired and she managed to find a job in another company after that so she got lucky but it worried me a lot.
Even in my own case I had a lot of interviewed scheduled in March but most of them were cancelled at the last minute because companies had to close down and weren't making enough money to afford new employees anymore, which is one of the reasons why I couldn't stay for as long as I wanted. The only job I found didn't pay enough because I could only work 6h a week and even then, I managed to get hired because employees left to go back to their countries because of the pandemic. Shit was crazy. Hopefully you can find a stable job at some point, small businesses and companies are going to have a hard time in general.
oh man, i hope your mom will be fine…that's very scary. i guess you'll have to quarantine as much as possible in the same house…somehow.
i'm not gonna get any crous money for two months so i'm apply for the financial aid for étudiants ultramarins (which i am lol)…but it's only 200 euros. one payment. all those student strikes and the government still doesn't know french students are poor as shit lol.
wishing you the best of luck with job hunting, hopefully stuff picks up in june/july.
tbh i don't think that was "anons" i think it's one anon who for whatever reason is very attached to that idea and keeps bringing it up here and there. i was browsing the old artist salt threads from months back and suddenly an anon proclaimed that an artuber had "that thing where childhood trauma gives you a little girl voice." she's just trying to push that idea but there's more than one reason someone could have a voice like hat ffs. even if it's comfort/insecurity does that mean it's necessarily related to trauma? no.
maybe she discovered something about her own childhood and voice and is seeing the connection everywhere now, even when it's not there.
Weeks? No contact at all? Drop him. I don’t give a fuck who died, a person doesn’t go on and on about how they adore you and then just stop talking to you.
Delete his number and remove him from social media, you’re better without. I can’t make it hurt less but that’s some insane behaviour that’s only going to get worse the deeper you get. Please don’t buy any of his sob stories if he contacts you. Worst case scenario he lied about someone dying and is checking your stories to see if they’re about him.
Don't take their word about how much they adore you until they prove it. A man who truly adores you isn't going to ignore you for weeks.
I'm sorry anon. Some scrub pulled this exact shit on me in early February. The difference is that his excuse was "flu" when he had already used that excuse before to explain his reason for why he couldn't have sent me one text in weeks. I told him off then blocked him, I let him do the unmatching from the app that I'd seen he was still active on. They're not even worth your mental space because they've proven they're no one special to you. Toss em like festered garbage.
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On our recent family meeting with s/o's family, we ended up talking about body and weight. I said that I don't believe that diets actually work (I've been through ana-chan hell during my teenagehood for 5 years), and that people shouldn't hate themselves for their bodies like media brainwashes us to, but actually accept themselves and just take care of their health.
The fat-chan of the table kept rambling and rambling how she is now such a picky eater out of nowhere, praising herself how little she eats now, once a day, kya! I told that I am hoping that she is joking because that is really unhealthy to do, she should eat whenever her body wishes to. I mentioned that I enjoy food a lot, because me and my s/o both love experimenting with cooking, and I eat a lot because of it (well, a normal amount of food, medium-sized with small snacks, but I still believe that's a lot because of ana-chan on the back of my head sometimes). Her grandmother laughed i toff, saying that I will regret it by the time I hit 30s and that I will be like fat-chan (whose skeleton is really thick and she does nothing but sits on PC all day, while crying of how fat she is while I am always having something to do) and it triggers me ever since even though it's been a week. I keep feeling too scared to eat too much, I keep forcing myself to work out even more no matter that I am feeling really weak lately. Man, I hate it. Why are people always trying to throw their life failures at me or others in general? I can't stand it anymore.
During the same week my friend who keeps choosing the wrong partners commented on my relationship (because he asked for how long i've been with my s/o, and it's been 4 years since we are together) and he started rambling about how I am going to be heartbroken and how love is really a bad thing, mehmehmeh. At least when he said such thing, I explained that it's none of his buisness and that such statement hurts me, because he doesn't know anything about my relationship and life in general, considering we both are living different lives.
Why are people such assholes lately?
Don't take this the wrong way but I think you overreacted just a little. You say you don't want people waving their weight failures in front of you, and yet you seem to be judging this situation through the lens of someone who isn't quite recovered from her own disorder either. A petty familial bant where no one's an expert and plenty are hypocrites shouldn't be enough to trigger
you like that. By the way, intermittent fasting or one meal a day can be a great tool for weight reduction and improving people's blood glucose. That's IF they can stick to such a diet, which is why for many it's not a realistic choice.
Regarding your second scenario though, he sounds jealous. Typical sabotaging male.
I am sorry for being harsh, I made myself seem judgmental because same said fat-chan always complains about how fat and 'fugly' she is while ordering herself UberEats every week, filled with McDonalds or other junk food, which always leads into her crying for attention. That is why I decided to harshly judge her here. Same said fat-chan also always stares at me and compares herself to me which is ridiclious because she is a grown woman compared to me because of our age difference.
The male friend is yes, jealous of my relationship because he always decides to choose every random girl he meets, and then complains and screams to me that ''every german woman is horrible hur hur hur!! find me a gf!! ''. I kept trying shake some sense into him, saying that there's no point in focusing on finding love if you are a mess of personality who also has to pay off many debts, but some men are just like that.
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Is anyone else actually facing the possibility of homelessness because of covid? Lmao fuck
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My dad is dating a girl 2 years older than me and I feel like my whole life has turned upside down.
I know that everyones first thought when they hear about a man dating a much younger girl is that he's an asshole and that's usually the case but I'm still trying to justify it somehow because it's so surreal and it's different when it's your own dad.
Apologies for the wall of text I know no1curr but writing this out hopefully helps (tfw no therapy)
Basically my parents had me when they were both 20 and for some reason they thought they would actually be able to raise a child together even though they'd been dating for like half a year and not even in a serious relationship. My mom is foreign and she came here to work in my dad's father's company and that's how they met. They were always out partying and stuff and when my mom got accidentally pregnant they decided they would settle down, which I blame on my dad because he was the one who basically had no direction in life, so this major change seemed exciting to him, whereas my mom could have actually had a career, plus she had no relatives in the country and no one to lean on other than him and their mutual friends.
But surprise surprise they split up a few months after I was born. No complaints after that cause my grandparents (father's side) helped A LOT financially, and both parents were always there for me. My mom went to college and became a teacher, married my step dad when I was around 4 and had my little brother so I always felt like I had a proper family life.
My dad had a pretty shit childhood, his father was always cheating on his mom until they divorced when he was really young. He had a lot of pent up anger at his father for the cheating and for leaving them, and only fixed their relationship a few years ago, but my mom tells me how mad he was at him and how he didn't want to turn out like him. (major foreshadowing here)
After him and my mom split he actually did pretty well for himself and is quite successful in his field. He got married to an amazing woman who helped him quit some bad habits he had and they had my other little brother when I was 12. I was really close with him, had dinner at their place every weekend and he used to take me to work which was so much fun, and to the movies museums etc. all the time, he taught me so many things that are so important to me.
I'm really close to my step mom too and a couple years ago both separately started kinda complaining to me about things and I could tell the relationship was deteriorating, he was always away for work and sometimes she would worry about what he was doing, and about him being away from their son.
Then they made the mistake of having another child like some couples do to save their marriage. Needless to say it didn't work and they separated half a year ago and divorced recently.
I spent a lot of time with her and the kids during the divorce process and it was absolutely horrible. She was devastated and did a great job hiding it from the boys but when it was just the two of us and she spoke to me honestly I felt so bad for her. She is stuck at home, alone now, with a 10yo and a 2yo while he's traveling the world and now fucking around with a 24yo.
At first I was outraged cause of the age of the girl and how quickly he got with her after the divorce but now all I'm thinking about is the boys and how he did to them the same thing his father did to him. I'm an adult so theoretically it doesn't really affect me now but they are so young. He is still very much around and a caring father but still the fact that he is not home with them and they're so young is so sad. I remember him telling me when he was a kid for a while he was constantly hearing his mom crying in the bathroom when his dad left them. Now the same thing happening in his own family.
I don't know if he was cheating before the separation but now I don't doubt it. I feel like he's an entirely different person and not who I grew up with.
And I know it's his fault and it's always the man to blame in these cases but I can't help but hate this girl. I haven't even met her and don't plan to but I found her intagram and she's just a basic edgy/alternative bitch. My dad's not ugly but he's 42 years old and it's clear as day that she's using him. How is this bitch not bothered by the fact that he has 3 kids, one of them almost her age, is beyond me. I really hope he can see that she's a gold digger at least and is not deluding himself.
I guess my conclusion is that men have crazy midlife crises and beware of rich boys with daddy issues. Any advice is welcome i feel like I'm losing my mind rn
I empathize anon, what you're doing is grieving the loss of your father figure and a part of you is still in shock. The loss of respect never really recovers after something this devastating. Literally the same thing happened to me with my stepdad and I've been battling with it mentally while trying to maintain an amicable relationship with him. Basically if I lose him I've lost all my parents, so maybe that's my underlying motivation for tolerating his mid life crisis bullshit.
Man otherwise, I've been born into a family of absolute scum and basketcases who had no business breeding. It's times like these when we truly realize we can't have picked our parents.
What's with these grown men emulating their own fathers who they claimed to hate anyway? Doth protest too much? My stepdad claims his father was a huge asshole who divorced after being a serial cheater, and that he never liked the new woman his dad married. Yet here he is having cheated on my mom and having the audacity to date women in my age range. Then to add insult to injury, he dragged me into their divorce drama by forcing me to keep secrets on both sides as an adult–nvm my mom's second divorce shit when I was little where I acted like therapist then too. My parents are juvenile messes trapped in older bodies.
Ugh. Don't even get me started on these young women agreeing to date flabby and old 40 and 50 year old men. They know exactly what they're doing. In my observation they're often desperate and feel they have no options for support besides what these men have to offer. My stepdad is being the definition of a middle aged white creep and it sucks after I previously had such a high opinion of him because he was the "cool" dad as a foil to my psychotic bitch mother. It's shit, I'm sorry you're going through it too.
RIP anon. You two sound close enough, ever thought of casually confronting him? Probably won't change his mind but maybe he'll at least take a good look at himself.
I'm lowkey glad my dad died when I was young so I get to preserve only the "perfect image" of him.
anon I'm sorry you've been through this too. About all men being trash, it's something I was always against believing but this whole thing is turning me into a misandrist lol. Life sucks>>553227
I know he isn't, but it's really hard coming to terms with that. And that girl isn't a saint either>>553232
Is yoour parents' relationship good now, after the cheating? I always thought a rp couldn't recover from something like that but some people seem to manage it.>>553231
you worded it perfectly anon, loss of respect. I do feel like this can never be fixed completely now. I'm sorry you've experienced it too, especially him being your only parent.
And about men becoming like their fathers - I absolutely can't understand it, but it happens ridiculously often. Especially since they know exactly what their fathers did wrong and how it affected them, and then they knowingly do it to their own children too.
I completely forgot to mention in my post the fact that when my dad was 18, my grandfather married a girl his age. So I have an uncle my age and an aunt younger than me, fucked up family tree in general. I guess it's different cause he was a guy but he still knows what it's like to have a step-whatever your own age.
And yes the girls absolutely know what they're doing, they just don't care I guess.>>553240
He told me about it yesterday, I was visibly furious but didn't say much. Next time I see him I'm absolutely going to confront him and tell him exactly what I'm thinking whether it makes a difference or not.
I'm really sorry about your loss anon, but it's beautiful that you can see a positive side to this.
Something that bothers me (apart from the obvious choking, slapping, rough shit) is how often porn is based around fucking your stepsister, your stepmom, some girl that the guy hates (again it's usually a stepsister) and humiliating her by fucking her roughly?? like why does so much porn now have to involve hate-fucking your family members?
I dated a guy with sons and when his 12 year old was caught with a ton of porn in his browser history it really made me see how strange it is to be that age, surrounded by stepsisters and half sisters in this complicated family set up and to then have the pornhub main page full of those scenes. What chance does that kid have to process that and reject it for being fucked up? He won't, he'll develop a weird taste for it.
Confessed to my boyfriend that I just don't feel joy in anything anymore and kind of got on the topic that I might possibly suffer from depression.
Got asked if I'm going to kill myself. I told him no and that even if I wanted to I wouldn't want to bring that kind of pain on him or my mom and family that I love dearly.
"Well why would you care, you'd be dead."
He then told me that I should start exercising again once the gyms open up. I agreed, but explained that I don't think lack of exercise is the cause because I felt like this even when I was going to the gym every day. Just because I don't enjoy something doesn't mean I won't keep it up, especially when I know it's good for me.
He proceeded to be confused and gave me a strict lecture on how exercise is the basis of good mental health and blahblahblah, nothing I don't know already.
I don't blame him for not knowing what to say or do, I just hate that me trying to open up about my feelings turned into a lecture on what I'm doing wrong and how to fix it.
I know that once I start exercising again I'm going to get the "oh you're doing so well, isn't this great, aren't you happier" comments rolling. My boyfriend is a firm believer in that everything wrong physically or mentally comes down to exercise and healthy eating, and while I know it's generally true I'm also so, so tired of hearing about it whenever I'm having a bad time.
What would you want your boyfriend to say?
It sounds like he's either autistic or thinking without emotions, given his responses. If you want an emotional response and not someone's advice, why did you go to a male?
He sounds obnoxious, like one of those guys who've convinced himself he's a logic dispenser and now he's above emotions and feelings. It's immature and unrealistic. By the way, this is pretty much how he will handle any kind of negative feelings or situations that the both of you will encounter in the future too. Personally I couldn't stand to be with someone who blames every sad thought on a lack of physical activity when that's bullshit. The worst I've ever felt about myself was also when I was forcing myself to jog and weight lift six days a week, exercise did nothing for my depression besides make me feel like a mediocre failure when I couldn't reach goals. Which happened often when I was in a mental state where I felt so low and hopeless about myself.
Sounds like you'll have to reach for emotional support elsewhere cause your bf isnt capable of providing that, sorry anon.
1.Your brother has a gaming addiction, he seems to not be interested in anything else except for being preoccupied by his playstation.
Solution:Take away(or break as a last resort) his playstation and electronics.
2.Your brother (like most gamers) probably spends alot of time looking at anti-women stuff and incel forums which explains his sudden hatred for your mom.
Solution: Have a long conversation with your mom and tell her to stop babying him and actually discipline him, and not serve him make him but instead let him make the food for himself and make him get a job.
You are spot-on, anon. He did develop misogynistic tendencies, and i believe i've seen him watch one of those yt incel gamers. My mum's strategy is to be nice to him to not piss him off even more, and i've told her endless times how that was one of the reasons he ended up becoming like that in the first place, but she won't listen.
He's nicer to my dad and respects him more but my dad is too caught up in his own depression and shit to try intervene. It's all very frustrating to witness.
Thank your for your reply though, i appreciate it.
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I just wanted a functional adult weeb friend I could nerd and be embarrassing with, but in my experience after 25 it's virtually impossible to find someone who is into geeky shit and is not a complete embarrassment to be around. Yes, I want to talk about that new light novel you were reading, that one anime you liked or your favorite character, no, I don't want to talk about it during work and I certainly don't want my boss to know I still collect manga and play videogames that are not fucking CoD so please keep your voice down.
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I'm feeling that I might want to have a child at some point in my life but at the same wish I couldn't bear one
I don't have sex at all (planning to) but my friends are exaggeratedly afraid of getting pregnant all the time
It'd be nice doing it without a condom too, idk if being sterile causes health problems but sounds good to me
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One of my sisters told me her friend caught the virus and was pretty much agonizing at home for a week in her room while her family was avoiding her and she didn't infect anyone, it could be doable.
>i'm not gonna get any crous money for two months
Thank fucking god I graduated last year, sounds even worse than usual. And just 200 euros? Isn't life in the dom tom even more expensive than in the average sized cities in the métropole to begin with? It's better than nothing I guess but what the fuck?
I CAN'T FOCUS ON MY FUCKING HOMEWORK ANYMORE
i spent so much time ignoring it and struggling to find a quarantine routine that now my brain is just done.
i'm 80% done with one assignment, 90% with the other and approx 5% w the last, due in 3 days. but every sentence i read and write feels like torture.
i've never procrastinated this hard on homework i swear to god
i think i was too sheltered, introverted and oblivious to have as many shitty experiences but i did get harassed and looked at weird a few times by creeps before i hit 14. then i think i looked way too autistic in highschool to get much attention lol.
it was fucked up looking back at how i already had to get used to sex perverts at age 11 because i was…160cm tall and wore shorts in a tropical country? god i wish they'd drop dead.
i'm glad i kept the same "fuck them, i can look however i want"attitude throughout the years though.
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I need to get the hell out of lolcow and stop treating it like it's a personal diary safe space, the anonymity and even vent threads like this one give me a false sense of security but it's still the public fucking internet and I just worry that I'm somehow leaving a retarded paper trail and sabotaging my future self from succeeding if I ever get doxxed, if that's even possible. is that paranoid? idk. a few times since quarantine I have typed up some very
psychotic (but true) personal life shit hoping for some sort of like, release or understanding/ sympathy i guess… but I backspace right out of there once I start feeling like it sounds too specifically like ME, that someone will find my posts and puzzle it all together and then I'll be eternally fucking "problematic" or something. I honestly feel like I'm not much like the average farmer ideology wise but I've still found a lot of commonality with other anons here and I think that's what makes it feel like a safe little escape for things I don't feel like talking to irl friends about.
I know if I throw myself into my more productive hobbies/ artmaking I won't get into my weird cycle of idealistic thinking and that won't make me ruminate and I won't get sad and I won't be tempted to post personal shit here (that I should save for like. therapy tbh) and it also will stop me from being bored enough to wonder how the cows I follow are holding up even though I genuinely don 't give a fuck about any of them anymore and haven't for a while now… but i'm bad at self-restraint
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Lack of insurance was somehow the answer I expected with such shitty healthcare systems. And I wish self help methods worked out better for you.
It’s a shallow response but yeah, definitely was able to relate to having a stable life and still feeling like “nah”
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Anon SAME. I have written so many embarrassing and/or fucked up things on here. i also used to post on this site when I was underage
so there’s tons of naive retarded stuff I’ve said on here over the years. Like if I ever got exposed I’d want to die lmao
I’m 22 and I still haven’t graduated. I know that it’s not much of a big deal, but I’m the type of person who’s really focused on studies, and I couldn’t wait to finally complete my 5 years course. The thing is, I could only complete three years, and due to financial issues, I had to stop. I had a debt to pay to the school, so I couldn’t apply for the fourth year, which is perfectly normal, but they said that once the debt is paid, I can go back to school and get back to where I’ve stopped. But they fucked me over, I tried to pay the debt with my father, but they said that they couldn’t take the money directly, that they had to see with their lawyers. No answer since. Lost one year like that. Second year, the same shit again, they ignored our mails, we even went to school to meet the director, but the secretary said we couldn’t even meet him. At this point, I was already really tired. What kind of school plays deaf when you try to pay them back??? I gave up and decided to go to another school, and I failed. Again. The whole quarantine situation completely rushed things, I couldn’t properly work on my portfolio (got infected), and the exams that were supposed to take place online on May 4th got reported on April 15th. And they told us this what… On April 11st? I don’t want to blame my failure on this alone, this is mostly the frustration talking, but damn do I feel angry. I feel angry at my former school, this situation, the other school I wished to apply to, and mostly myself. I lost all my motivation. I’m lucky to have a consistent job that allowed me to save a lot of money, I’m very mindful with my earnings and I live at my mom’s home, but I feel so fucking useless, damn… Nearing 23 and I feel like I’m doing nothing with my life and that I’m wasting my youth doing nothing, I feel like I’m not moving onward. I’m just so fucking done. I feel like I’m already too old to get back to studying next year.
When I was underage I legitimately thought anonymous boards were anonymous, and I didn't realize some 4chan boards were automatically archived, I was so stupid.
At least there's a little bit of reassurance in knowing you would have to be on the same level as necesasaryspeed and Kiki to be doxxed by the mods, and at least most 4chan archives have lost their older content.
many people are in your situation.
i understand it's frustrating; i'm also hard on myself and focused on studies despite not matching my ridiculous expectations for myself.
please keep in mind your age is really not as extreme as you think. the first sentence of your post didn't even register as something negative in my brain.
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My seasonal allergies are hitting fucking hard. Actually can't breathe once more. Covid's has stopped my immunotherapy appointments and I was still early in it so I don't see progression. I actually had a dream where a clinic was opened and still was giving my vaccines, it was so amazing. My dumbass, however, forgot the damn things in the fridge at home.
I'm mainly afraid of getting stares at in public when I'll go grocery shopping because I can't sneezing and my difficulty breathing
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I know I shouldnt be envious of girls being creeped on by god damn I wish I was good looking.
>>553533>to be pretty is to be young
Lmao nah. There's a bunch of ugly young people. Me? I look way better as an adult than as a teen.
It's really not about the look. Men just like the feeling of defiling uncharted women who have been with no other men. Mostly because young women don't have the experience to know to dodge and reject these men.
Their youth is enticing because its exploitable, not pretty.
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One of my coworkers was throwing up on our last shift and getting chills. Now (of fucking course) my schedule and everyone else's is completely changed because she has to self isolate after we are already understaffed. Our shift lead told her to go home but she didnt and now i'm paranoid she infected everyone on shift that day. I'm pissed because now everyone's hours are cut and i did a lot of closing shifts so i got a chill shift at the end of the day to clean up and take home any left over food. Now i'm working the weekend (busiest days) and will be stationed at the mobile order area and not allowed to move. I'm really pissed because i loved working on bar (coffee/starbucks) and now i'm trapped in one spot.
Why cant people just stay their asses home if they dont feel well??
Understandable you want validation or attention, it's natural if not a little insecure, but the story you posted is gross.
Personally I do not find catcalling or aggressive flirting/creeping to be something I enjoy myself, but I understand the want of it to some degree. This story however is a really bad comparison though because the girl in the story is a minor. Those brother's friends are absolute pigs and whether the girl is entertaining their notions or not, what they are doing is disgusting.
I really hope you aren't underage anon.
Not true. I would say I also look better than I do now than I do as a teen due to more knowledge on grooming and skincare. I also know how to dress better than when I was a teenager. I was very young looking as a teenager. I'd say I still look youngish for my age but I definitely don't look like a teen anymore.
I think yes, men will creep on teens for the uncharted experience and easier goal, but you will still get creeped on in general because creepy men exist everywhere.
Working in retail from the ages of 19 to 30 I've experienced all sorts of disgusting men. With makeup on and without, looking dressed up/young and looking old/sick.
Yes there are ones who act creepy because the girl is pretty but sometimes I find it's more about the vulnerability. Some seem to give you more attention if you seem uncomfortable, almost like they sense weakness.
Tldr- It's not always age or attractiveness. It's usually the fact they are just pigs and you have a vagina.
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my mom was going to tidy up my brother's room a little bit to be nice while he was at work and found eight full piss bottles in there I want to scream. the bathroom is literally less than ten feet away. this is what fucking happens when you baby your youngest son and make your daughter pick up his slack his whole life. he's filthy, incompetent, and overconfident. I was already pissed at him because he's always fucking up and being annoying at the job I got him where we both work. I'm teetering between giving up entirely and telling everyone he knows about his piss bottles.
Just because that's what is expected of you doesn't mean that's what you have to do tho. I know life is busy and hard, especially right now, but you're still young, dude. You can't just sit around and wait for life to stop being boring.
You can still get a cute puppy when places open back up, and you can even have virtual movie nights with friends with websites like Watch party and rabb.it.
Were you a friendless loser with ugly ex at 18? lol Do you think you won't be exactly where you are now if given a do-over? Doubt it, people who have the will and desire to make the perfect do-over would just use that energy to elevate their life now.
Stop idealizing being a child so much. They have no money, no freedom, shit taste and are just terrible at relationships. They still have anxiety, expectation weighing on them, and they still get hurt by the world. 18 year olds too feel like their time is running out because they worry they won't be some successful career man/woman at 26 or some other juvenile idealism about adulthood that just sets them up for disappointment.
Just get your shit together. If you were a well adjusted 30yo woman with meaningful relationships, you'd feel that your life has just begun and it's the best part yet.
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The steam interface gives me panic attacks because i was groomed by a pedo on steam when i was 14.
I only buy games if they are avaliable on GOG, if not i pirate, i just can't fucking open steam anymore, it legit makes me want to vomit looking at it.
damm we're in a similar situation. when I was 12 I used to like this anime character a lot and some 30something sickfuck groomer would send me hentai of that character a lot. I'm better now but I can't see that character without wanting to die kek
Sorry to hear it anon, I hope both of us can get over this shit.>>553684
Might work if i REALLY want to support the dev, or crackers can't work around the DRM, even the color scheme makes me quite queasy tho.
I'm so sorry anon!!! I have terrible allergies too (to literally everything pollen/ nature-related lol) and am so grateful that the clinic I get shots at is still open. I'm behind schedule and am about to be without insurance in a few months so I'm super worried about the shots getting too expensive because the US healthcare is bullshit, but for now I'm just grateful to be getting them while allergy season happens during the worst possible time to be looking remotely sick.
do you have enough allergy meds to get you through it in the meantime? my allergies fuck my sinuses up more than anything so if you're like me, nasal sprays like nasacort have been a godsend back before I got shots. also since I'm assuming you're in lockdown too, try taking advantage of being blocked from the outdoors and allergy-proof your place a little bit. my house is old and gets dusty easily and I felt a million times better when I took the day to deep clean, dust, and got a household anti-allergen spray. hang in there!
My doctors have suspected leukemia before and now they're doing a bone marrow test soon for this specific piece of shit bullshit, 20% chance of survival. And I'm sitting here freaking out (like I do occasionally) while my boyfriend sleeps peacefully. This sucks. I finally got back to a healthy weight and now I look like some plucky methhead since my skin turned very strange. Holy shit. I wish I could scream and kick my legs, or break expensive dishes with a hammer out in a big backyard. My cousin has it and we're being followed by the same doctor and I can't even stress how sick I've been. It's like the stomach flu for six weeks straight. I just need to babble and scream and I wish I could message my ex because I know he'd be better support, and that sucks too to admit. I wouldn't do it but I swear it crosses my mind eight times a day. I feel neglected and sad and I wish the pandemic was over so I could move home to be better loved. My time is worth more to them. I don't know.
I wish I could ignore how this feels but it's such a trap, I only leave for the hospital and feel like crap. Stacked crap. I hope there is a heaven. I really hope to anything that there is at least a room where I could hug my parents again when this mess is done with. I feel very hopeless and sad. My BMI would make an anorexic woman blush and I look like a fucking coat-tree. Tired and sunken, sweaty and always shaking. My shoes practically melt with sweat, my hands drip.
I don't want to die but I wish I could go on an extended leave. Log out of the main game but sit in the lobby. I'm selfish and angry, and I'm on a 2+year wait-list for therapy. I have misguided anger preventing me from seeing the light at the end of this tunnel. I feel like it's punishment for always saying "I wish this was something else."
I'm an ungrateful little shit. A worm. I eish my cats spoke english because I know they'd have very sweet things to say. I wish I didn't constantly piss myself like a senile old bat so I could go outside without the worst anxiety/fear about it. I wish I didn't puke so much or need IV treatment. At the same time I feel like I'm glad it's me so it's not on anyone else, but my cousin didn't deserve it either? It knocked her flat out of her fifth year of medical school and I have no idea how she's functioning. She does a lot better than I do.
Goddamn it'd be so nice to work again, even as a dusty cashier for walmart or a toilet scrubber. It would feel so nice. Rotting between the bathtub and the couch is no life. I wish I had never moved away from home. What a fucking mistake. I wish I had seen my friends before they moved away, but I couldn't. stop. puking. I just feel like these things are crushing me and hoped that mashing my keyboard would help. It kinda did because now I'm crying which feels nice.
I want to be more grateful and less guilty.
You don't have to be hot to get catcalled, you just have to be female and under the age of 50
and it's not like all catcalling remarks are even compliments
I mean all the guys of all agea are weird now cause of porn, you should ask some young women about their experiences (it's all extremely weird stuff)
However you can totally date younger men, men do not care at all about a woman's age as long as you look good.
Saying things like >you just have to be female and under the age of 50
is exactly why some girls worry about not being catcalled, it reinforces that they must be utterly deformed if it's not happening to them too, even if it's not a good thing to happen.
It's not a universal experience, some places just don't have a big catcalling culture.
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I’ve literally never had the desire to be famous until a few months ago and it’s almost comically childish how I’ve started daydreaming about being some cutesy actor type that becomes America’s sweetheart. I think it’s just because I want validation and financial stability, especially right now, and that being famous would truly be awful and that I’d find no fulfillment in it. I also really try and tell myself that a lot of people who have become successful are only in that position because of a shitton of luck, or money, or both.
I saw a comment about high femininity in the goth thread on snow, and that's basically the only ingredient. Long hair, light hair, dress/skirt/shorts, shapely/slim body, feminine face, if you have one or two of these traits you will get catcalled at some point.
It just makes me feel unsafe rather than flattered uwu, it's still harassment even if it's ostensibly friendly.
paranoid OP here, thank god I'm not alone lol. I feel a lil better now knowing that a. no one cares enough about me irl to stalk me that hard or guess that an anon is me, and b. I don't even post anything problematic
enough for admins to doxx me or for anyone to see me as some monster
still gotta learn to like, keep some shit to myself tho
My job is a lot. I feel I am far too competent in a lot of aspects, but in others I feel entirely useless. I am on a “casual” contract, so I am basically neither important or worthy of anything which just feels into the entirely useless and worthless side of things.
I feel like if I communicate with my higher ups, I am obnoxious and pushing buttons. If I don’t communicate my every move, I get questions about what I am doing.
I work in a prestigious University, but they’re pretty shit for the most part. The way they treat their students is just sad, especially given so many of them grow up wanting to study there.
I am tired, and I am confused. I just want to do good at my job, and transfer into a higher position so I can try and implement change. But really, I don’t think any of them care to change. They just want money, and more than that - they want money from international students.
thanks, anons, I feel somewhat validated. I was starting to wonder if I really WAS being an irrational harpy, which is absurd because I'm not even an emotional person – my mom was the one who freaked out and showed me the piss bottles, and I basically said "well, have fun with that, I need to get ready for work". I'm honestly even a pretty understanding person when it comes to people wallowing in their own filthy bc I had a friend who kept piss bottles for a while when he was horribly depressed and literally couldn't muster the strength to leave his bed most days. Hell, I used to piss in a trash can which I would then empty into a sink because in college I had my own sink in my dorm, but had to share a bathroom (shower + toilet) with another girl who would FREQUENTLY fuck her creepy tinder dates in there, and I often had nowhere else nearby where I could pee at like three in the morning.\
But neither of those situations apply to him because a) I can't know my brother's exact mental state but he gets up to go to work five days a week and also goes out with his friends with no problem, so clearly he can muster the energy to piss, and b) he lives with just me and my mom and we have TWO bathrooms! There is literally always somewhere to piss on the same floor as his bedroom.
It just blows my mind that HE does something stupid and disgusting and now I'M the one that has to emotionally coddle him? My mom refuses to believe that her high standards for me (compared to my brother) are clearly what led to us turning out so different and she just keeps insisting "he's my son I know what's best for him and he has different needs!"
late reply but: don't take every conversation on dating apps so seriously. you have to be in it enough to have a nice conversation and eventually a date but don't get your hopes up like that.
i texted while keeping in mind that people often ghost for "no reason"; you're kinda lucky she at least let you know what's up.
you'll find the right person randomly; i had like 20 failed conversations/dates total before i met my boyfriend and deleted the app within 2 weeks of knowing each other. chill dude
sorry, it overlapped the thread bump but, in response to>>550333
I ( >>550332
) am definitely not being inconsiderate to feel uncomfortable and irritated at her?
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Why don't you go out and party a bit after this corona shit show is over, becoming a party girl basically fixed that ghostly feeling for me.
What do you mean the attention it would bring? The point of doing illegal things like drugs or whatever is not really bringing attention to it except the others who partake of course. So from my experience there's a different kinda "ghost" aspect of it.
But by all means agree with anon above: when corona calms down try to get out there and have a good time if that's something you want to experience. Be safe though.
kinda same. when my boyfriend told me he showed my pictures to a few of his curious close friends, i asked what they thought of me, hoping they'd say "woah" or "you're lucky" or something.
i don't actually care but…i kinda do.
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I have a friend and the more I hang out with her the more retarded I realize she is. On a daily basis, I find myself having to take deep breaths over the stupid shit she says. She is a nice person, but it's like she lacks critical thinking skills. Like nobody taught her how to think.
>fully accepts anyone who is trans and doesn't question or care about risks involved with transgenderism/transitioning
>doesn't believe transtrenders are real and that it's transphobic to say so
>likes DissociaDID and truly believes the shit she says
>hates anything related to science and chooses to believe in dumb ass shit like astrology instead
I don't care that she has shit taste in stuff or that we don't always have a lot in common, but the fact that she continuously disregards facts, choosing instead to go the least offensive or passive thing, pisses me off so much. I just don't get how someone can go through life like that.
Sometimes I wonder why people can’t be nice with me when I’m only nice to them, nothing else. Some friend long time ago told me not to change the way I am, she was kind of worried about me because she was saying how it seems my heart is made of gold and that she wouldn’t want me to get hurt and now I get it. People takes kindness for granted, I never insulted anyone, I always try to put myself at other people’s shoes, even when I think differently, I try to make them feel understood and validated and not only I don’t get the same thing in return, it feels like they don’t even care at all.
I could disappear for two weeks straight and nobody would even notice, I changed the way I talked, they way I answered, even when I felt like it was the last thing I wanted to do, I always tried to be there for the people I care about.
And then they don’t care at all. My bf makes some mean comments about me and the worst of it it’s he’s doing it without realising how much he hurts me. Same goes to my best friend. My closest friend, the one who has known me the longest in my life, doesn’t even realise how much impact her words have in my life.
And I get that I shouldn’t care too much, that I should life my own life, basically it’s what I’m doing these days, I feel like I’m losing my personality, what made me kind now feels like it turns me into a bitter person and I didn’t want to lose that, because deep down I always thought it doesn’t cost anything to be nice, being kind is free and it hurts the most when it comes from people who I deeply care about.
Basically I was just thinking why for some people it’s hard to be….nice. To think about others. It reminds me of that girl from the mean girls movie but it’s true, my mind just can’t comprehend it.
>>553921>My bf makes some mean comments about me and the worst of it it’s he’s doing it without realising how much he hurts me. Same goes to my best friend. My closest friend, the one who has known me the longest in my life, doesn’t even realise how much impact her words have in my life.
This is the real issue, OP. You're not surrounding yourself with people who have similar values. Some people simply don't value niceness and don't go out of their way to empathize with others. That's just how some people are.
That being said, if your strongest bonds are with people you aren't compatible with in this way, that's a huge problem. I'd say it's not worth it to care if these were people you didn't have to interact with often, but that's a huge deal if it's your boyfriend and closest friends.
>And I get that I shouldn’t care too much, that I should life my own life, basically it’s what I’m doing these days, I feel like I’m losing my personality, what made me kind now feels like it turns me into a bitter person and I didn’t want to lose that, because deep down I always thought it doesn’t cost anything to be nice, being kind is free and it hurts the most when it comes from people who I deeply care about.
Yeah, no. That's complete bullshit. Your emotions are there for a reason, anon. They're informing you that something is deeply wrong, because something IS deeply wrong. Your feelings aren't likely to change simply because your values and lifestyle clash so heavily with those who you've formed your closest bonds with. This is definitely a problem if you literally feel like you're losing a sense of who you are. That is a big flashing danger sign that you're not being true to yourself by surrounding yourself with like-minded people.
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I want to be fucked senseless all the time. But I know the only reason I want it is because I'm so emotionally hollow and it's not healthy at all. I wish I could have healthy relationships with people and myself but I never will.
Please don't let other people's cruelty take away your genuine kindness, anon, it's the best trait a person can possibly have, seriously. I struggle with the same shit but I think what helps me stay so nice and still be real about that niceness is that I'm lucky the people closest to me are either also super kind, or they appreciate me for never being mean and being sort of a light spot in their life. I struggle with some severe depression so hearing friends tell me that I cheer them up brings me a lot of joy. sometimes I worry that being too empathetic allows me to be taken advantage of by others, but I still think you should cherish your ability to empathize and love, not to sound cheesy but there is truly not enough of that in this shit world
i hope you can find people who love your ability to love, and if you feel that your important people aren't appreciating it I would try to communicate that worry with them. if they really love you they'll take your concerns seriously. like another anon said, your emotions are valid
and you should never let other people make you feel like you're not allowed to be yourself!
mt mental health team discharged me saying there was nothing they can do to help me. At themoment my life is a mess. So that felt like a punch in the GUT! They tried to pay hot potatotoe I actually went to those places and it was NOT suitable. My last mental health nurses ( there is always 2 of them) just want to have small talk,no interest i my mental health. I got beat up, they changed the subject, a close family member died, I cried, next time I saw them never asked about the funeral how I was doing etc. At times they literally took me down to a coffee place and bought me a coffee and they both chatted to men, it felt odd. Then I heard a new team, At first the Manager seemed to be interested, then he did a u turn, the woman that was with him was eiterh Autistic or just a rude bitch, she was a social worker, I said I liked Abimals she said " become a vet" I said I wanted my driving licence back " well we can't give you a driving licence",i said I wanted to work " well we can;t give you a job", she walk out without saying goodbye or looking back, sit there in her own world, once when I tried to talk to her she cut me off and turned her head and walked away it was SO rude. Her Boss was there and he said nothing to her. The Boss seemed to be really interested in helping me at first then he talked to Dr " you upset my colleague 14 years" who has made it clear that she hates me, and because I complained what I FEMALE patient said, she admited yes she said those words, but i took them out of context, I am not sure how you can put " I can understand why no wants anything to do with you" " You can be such a horrible person" " you sand completly mad" " I don't think you have BPD, you have a deeply flawed personality but you don;t match the symptoms" " I have wondered if you may be sociopath" I saw that renowned osych twice a week and I was brain washed. i started avoiding people i case they thought I was horrible. within a year I had no one i my life, she got frustrated and said there was nothing to work with. I get the feeling in order to have therapy i have to get myself a boyfriend and friends and get into conflict , then I can get help, getting harmed my strangers, they see that as apolice matter, sexual assault ( noever mentioned again, someone trying to burn down my house never spoke again, even though I have trouble sleeping, oh my name and addresss in some sex workers site, i hate men coming to visit me , not talked about, my facebook seem to get raided over night, they changed the subject. One man stalked me, I gave him a false name, no address, he managed to find out my full name, addy, took a pick of my house and made threats, I was asked how I met him whe I said FB, they daid hmm you mentioned FB before maybe shut down your FB and other social media accounts! As for me not drinking, eating, washing Autismo social worker well how do you expect us to help with that! So I am allowed to apopeal my discharge, but I have a feeling, they will just say the same thing. it is like the main manger said to them she was complained about x 13 years ago, do not engage just trivilize her issues so she will get fed up making the journey jus tot talk for 40 mins" - I don;t know what therapist want of me? t last therpast seemed to be annoyed I was a BPD person that did not self harm, or form atttachments with people and split etc. I don't feel strongly about people I dont like conflict, so there was nothig my poysh could worj on,
I want to cry. I'm on my 3rd medication to try and deal with my newly diagnosed severe ADHD ( I have had this for a long, LONG time but never was diagnosed bc I thought it was my other disorders acting up)
I'm in a really bad one, I have bad fatigue, pressure feelings, impulsive thoughts, and flashing images of how I want to hurt myself and how it'd look.
I feel so stupid anyway. I'm already diagnosed with several other disorders, this being the third of being in the severe side of things. I feel like such a fuckup. I had a pretty bad childhood so I know that that's just… the average outcome of it. I just feel like such a fucking burden on my family, I'm almost sure what I need to be on is a stimulant and it feels like I've hit such a bad end having to be put on one of those, especially because my dad thinks I don't need all these pills, especially not stimulants ( "Next they're gonna make you take fucking adderal, aren't they? - him)
I want to die and restart. I hate feeling like my boyfriend has to take care of me. I hate the feeling that my parents are so troubled over the fact they raised me to be like this. I want to be a normal person so bad and not be a fucking adult that hasn't really progressed mentally since I was like 17.
I turned 26 the other month and you're spot on. To be honest, I'm looking forward to my thirties in a way. It's a NEW chapter and you're still growing. Sure, babies may happen in my 30s and that is exciting. A new job role, a new house or even working abroad. More money in a good position. You get wiser.
And some of the dudes I have dated have been in their thirties. More understanding (not always), good lovers, know how to please. Don't want to play games and if you mesh, they CAN commit. That's what a woman wants. Sure, 20 something boys, cute. But majority mess around.
Some of my female friends are in their thirties and they say life has just began for them.
So let the kids laugh because at the end of the day, age will catch up anyway. They won't be 18 forever. No one is young forever.
I feel the same anon. I wish he would just use a fucking rubber but he says IT DOESnt FeEl RiGhT
why do us women gotta suffer
lol i think i have adhd and was thinking about how if would be, trying meds and dreading to keep cycling through shit till i find something that works. godspeed anon on finding medication that works for you!
have you read books about female ADHD? sari solden's women with adhd might help you feel better/have a better perspective. i'm reading it right now.
I will still love anime and animal crossing and shit at 37 years old with a full time job, husband and a kid
Not that anon but it's obviously not racebait. Saying that Japan might have been the biggest influence doesn't mean the West never does this.
Admittedly, high school is an overwhelmingly prevalent setting and teenagers are by far the most common age group in anime. Compare this with popular western shows, where characters will most often be in their late 20s or 30s. Stuff like Friends or HIMYM comes to mind. Youth is still idealized in the West, but it's usually not literal 16 year olds that are portrayed as the hottest shit. Much less the concept of desirable lolis, which pretty much doesn't exist in popular media outside of Japan.
>>554044>If what anon says is true, and all you have to be is under age 50 and female, well I must be truly deformed because I haven't had it happen.
Catcalling is harassment.
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just make some agar agar dessert jelly smh
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I was watching some old Marilyn Monroe videos and pic attached is a screenshot of one of the comments and the replies it got.
Maybe too much porn has rotted men's brains because I don't know how they can make such a leap in logic to interpret the song that way. Men growing cold to women as women grow older is suddenly mean to men and trying to override men's rights. It's amazing how you cannot even make a harmless comment how women have it bad without men having to pitch in and say how they have it worse when they clearly don't.
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anon i'm sorry I don't know what to say. I'm just so sorry. I've had the temptation but never attempted and the fact that you tried rips my heart out. I wish you healing and one day I hope you're able to feel joy again – the sudden kind, like light flashing off the scales of a fish before it disappears under the water again. Good luck, anon!
Hey anon, I know most of the things people are now saying and doing to comfort you sound absolutely pointless and stupid and you wish that you were successful and people would be better off without you.
You have to understand that your brain is currently working through a filter that challenges, discredits and destroys anything that potentially puts you in a good light. Nothing is blank and white, and you are not a bad person. You just need help and you have people around you who will help you.
I really felt the resentment and hatred you have towards yourself. You are not making the world a worse place, you are not an oil spill in the middle of an crystal clear ocean. You are depressed. Even though we are going through a pandemic, the world has not stopped on its axis. Other problems still exist.
Do not be hard on yourself. You need to get yourself fixed. It will pass.
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my boyfriend used to be a SIMP. I mean he was cheesy and unslick as hell, he tried getting with almost every girl in town and now he’s with me and I feel like shit. Am I easy?? Oh my god it hurts because I’m in love with him but he used to call really ugly girls beautiful and send them paragraphs, and we live in such a small town fml I feel like one of his desperate conquests. Idk reconsidering the whole relationship
By the way, we’re in a serious
relationship. Omfg I’m gonna cry, am I over exaggerating
I don't actually understand this at all
Your issue is that your bf publicly owned how he flirted with girls before you, rather than secretly sliding into their DMs on the dl, and because he called "ugly" girls beautiful?
Stop listening to memes
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I feel like I wasted my time on the internet doing nothing while everyone else was doing something more useful like reading, practising their hobbies, making friends, watching movies and shows, learning languages, improving skills they already have… or something as stupid as gaining followers while I didn't gain anything significant, my days pass without doing not a thing as little as watching an episode of a tv show, I'm not good at anything and all my skills and social life is way behind.
I'm stuck doing nothing and everyone else is going on with their lives.
I wake up and tell myself that I'm doing something today but the days goes by and I get nothing done it's tiring. I want to get things done I want to read, I want to draw, I want to learn about things I'm interested in, I want to learn new languages, I want to gain new skills, I've been in quarantine for more than two months and I did absolutely nothing… it's not too late to get something done but I'm regretful for the years and years I lost doing nothing.
Wtf this image reminds me of Morrowind npcs
I don't know how to help you but I know how you feel. Try drawing something or reading a book or just write down your thoughts on paper, and turn off your phone/computer- I know it's easier said than done but once you just start doing something it's easy to keep on doing it, the hard part is beginning, you can do it
I have BPD (I think, the diagnosis is very old) but I've never really gotten proper treatment or therapy for it - most of my life I've been in extreme denial about it. I'm on some medications that coincidentally have helped me manage symptoms better and have had a lot of personal epiphanies in certain behaviors or thought processes not being normal or acceptable.
A yearish or so ago I got in a ldr with a very good/long time friend of mine. I became absolutely and utterly obsessed with him, well beyond the point I ever had with anyone before. I felt a love and care for him that I recognized as something new, as it was not "just" the possessive infatuation I'd normally get and mistake for love in the past (not that I don't think that wasn't there at all, it just kind of co-existed).
We met up for a few weeks and things didn't work out - he claims he's not ready for a relationship but if he could be with someone it 'would be me' and 'maybe that will change one day'. I know this means I need to move on, but I recently realized I've spent the last few months doing everything I can to the point of a total lack of self respect or the boundaries of my ego to try to rekindle his interest. We still talk daily and he tries to be understanding of my mental illness but I don't think he really conceives it fully. I've changed everything about myself/appearance and even gotten and planned future plastic surgery to try to fit his tastes (my choice, not his). I've self harmed over him multiple times, something I haven't done in years. He tries to refuse but I spend thousands monthly on buying and sending him gifts.. little thoughtful and helpful things but they add up. I know it's all very wrong, but I can't think of anything or anyone else. I told him recently holding onto things is hurting me and I'm trying to distance my feelings, he understands/supports it. I still want to talk because we've been best friends for several+ years and he's the only person I've consistently talked to in my entire life.. I still love him as a friend as much as I do romantically… but in the past I've always just cut people off and ghosted or gone into a self destructive cycle til I find someone new to latch onto. So I don't really know what the fuck I'm doing or how to do this properly or healthily…
I've tried distracting myself with work, exercise, videogames, reading, other such hobbies, even fell back on doing some hard drugs (old cope of choice). But EVERYTHING makes me think of him. each day it seems to get worse. I think I'm ruining our friendship because I keep having these petty and spiteful outbursts since I get these delusions he's manipulating me (he hasn't been) and random periods of egotistical rage/resentment over why I'm not enough, shouldn't I be perfect for him, why doesn't he love me anymore, attacking him, etc… I have fessed up to that with him and apologized and he's been supportive and said as long as we can talk it out, he understands I have this issue. But I just want to kill myself all the time. I cry all the time. I don't want anything but to be with him. I feel so worthless and inadequate that even though I did EVERYTHING I wasn't enough. And I know that's my illness talking and not logic and that's not really how things work… But what am I supposed to do? How do you stop feeling this way 'properly' and still maintain friendship? It's seriously taking everything I've got not to self harm and self destruct and I know I'm blessed just for the self awareness now that I lacked the rest of my life but… really, how do people do this?
I've looked into behavioural therapy techniques and such online as best as I could but I really don't see how any of them help or apply to this. And I'm constantly fighting against this retarded feeling of "why would I want to get better if it's not going to result in being with him?". Even when I've had moments of seeming "ok" I catch myself doing it with the intention of becoming "even better" so he somehow regrets not being with me (ridiculous).
I don't want to be this way, Jesus fuck. I'm 27 years old, have a house and job and family who care about me. I'm not supposed to have the emotional capacity of an edgy preteen… in a couple hours I'll take my meds and I'll be distracted for a little bit just to cry and struggle by the end of my work shift because he's gone to bed and I miss just talking to him about nothing SO FUCKING MUCH and remember I can't be with him and I'm not good enough and fuck fuck fuck why am I like this?! I'm currently trying to talk with him a little less and explained I'm being a bit less friendly to try to see if it helps, but I want to go running to him every second of it and latch onto him and shower him in love. I feel like I'm stuck eternally in the 'love bomb' stage while he is able to move on. I hate myself for being like this. And the worst part is I know not even the self sacrificial things are at all selfless, I'm selfish as all fuck, I don't feel a pang of guilt for the others I've hurt in my life - I know damn well I only feel I care about him this much because it serves my own desires.
Why in the ACTUAL FUCK do I have to be like this
I know damn well the best I'm about to do is try to find someone new to be infatuated over and likely end up permanently destroying the closeness I had with him as just friends to try to numb my feelings for him
I am a disgusting thing
What does this matter? Did he not make you happy up to this point?
No offense but this reminds me of guys obsessing over their girlfriend's body counts. It's not going to make you feel better to think about it so negatively. >he calls ugly girls beautiful
I mean I'm sorry but is this supposed to be a red flag? Maybe he does actually find women beautiful and doesn't feel they should change to be conventional. But that's just me, I hate shallow men who think they're too good for the majority of women.
Clearly you can't be his friend. Having a daily relationship with someone whom you send thousands of dollars in gifts to, well, you're not about to get over your feelings that way. If he's just a friend, then treat him like one. The problem is you're treating him like a boyfriend and chasing him when he's already rejected you. Anon you are simping hardcore, of course this guy is willing to sit back and watch you "talk it out" while you feed his ego with attention. Daily talks, gifts, blowout fights, etc. aren't really friend tier. I mean I love my friends but even we don't talk THAT much, and gift giving is really only for special occasions. Additionally, if I was having that many paranoid thoughts about my friends to the point where I was lashing out, I'd reconsider the value their so-called friendship adds to my life.
>>554181>fat activists thrive on social media
How is this not in line with anything I've said? Sit down. To repeat: Stop going/following/subscribing to fringe people on the internet who upset you. For one thing, I know for a fact that not every fat person shits on skinny people. Secondly, I could easily pull up-from fringe places on the internet-a bunch of hate sites dedicated to shitting on fat people. They don't even pretend to be concerned for a stranger's health, they straight up think fat people should have their lives ruined and pretty much be murdered for how they look. AND it's mostly perpetuated by men.
By your logic, since shit like that exists somewhere on the internet, fat activists have a legit crusade because people actually hate them for illegitimate reasons.
Is this reality? No. Shit like this doesn't happen in real life.
The truth is you want vindication to shit on fatties and you're using bullshit cherry picked from the internet to do it. Grow up. >BUT ADELE THO!
Whenever a celebrity changes their appearance there's always related backlash. New nose, new boobs, you name it. Fatties didn't start this phenomenon, sorry.
You sound like a fatty who is upset.
I came here to vent, and I have many reasons to feel how I feel.
The body positive movement all across social media is very much into this idea that thinner women don’t also experience BDD and eating issues / body shaming. I don’t know what part of the internet you live on - but this is very rampant at the moment.
And you sound triggered
because you didn't want to hear the truth of the matter. I'm sorry some fat person made you feel like shit about your body, but it doesn't make you right to do it to other people.
Also samefagging will get you nowhere, it makes you look more unhinged. Although I do applaud you for holding out until the second post to insinuate I'm a planet because god forbid I don't spiral into mania and blame a whole group of people for my hurt feelings.
wow the levels of projecting your post is reaching are rarely seen even here on lc, bravo lol>>554176
I agree with you, I can't stand people that excuse their bad diets by trying to normalise obesity.
Been in exact same situation.
Honestly tried everything and we ended up moving out.
Guys just won't say anything.
Next time he vents to you, tell him to say something to his friend and that you are sick of hearing about it.
If he doesn't take it on board, you and your bf should move out alone.
I really agree with this topic too and I hate that it's so impossible to discuss it politely.
I think it's lovely to see a more diverse range of bodies in fashion, and it's great to promote the idea that there's many ways to be beautiful and love yourself even if you're fat. That's perfectly fine. But when it got to the point of fat women getting aggressively nitpicky about what is considered "fat shaming" and claiming being fat isn't unhealthy, I checked out. Being fat /is/ inherently bad. Even being just chubby usually points to unhealthy habits moreso than "genetics," and I'm saying this as someone with shit genetics. I am so tired of seeing chunky friends on social media crying about how they hate their body and slim people are sooo lucky and privileged, and then hours later I see the same person make a twitter poll asking if they should order Chinese food or chicken nuggets for dinner. I'm not even making that up.
It's not illegal and you don't deserve a bad life if you're fat, but it's just so completely preventable. I've been both overweight and underweight, I have severe PCOS and every imaginable excuse for why I should be fat, and I still stand by my opinion. Stop blaming society for the way you're perceived. Adele looks great.
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I was assigned to put together an excel spreadsheet of all company audits, with infractions and responses among other categories of information. I've worked here less than a year so a lot of terms & processes are unfamiliar to me but I'm doing my best on my single monitor desktop to transcribe this info between pdfs, word docs, and the excel they want me to type all this into.
The spreadsheet they sent me has the layout already and it appears as though someone already started listing infractions across an array of audits. Meant to be examples perhaps? However a lot of the information appears wrong. Wrong person responsible listed, single audit infraction listed as open when there's actually a closure letter for that entire audit, "update needed" listed in some categories and I have no idea who to ask for that info (and how am I gonna know which infractions need updating anyway lol?), etc. It only makes sense that the information is fucked if this has been sitting in someone's documents folder since 2018. But if this is a brand new spreadsheet then it's confusing af as to why someone blatantly typed in wrong shit. It's fucking with my understanding of what it is I'm meant to be transcribing, but it doesn't even end with inconsistent info. Like there will be an infraction observation with point A and point B, but for some reason the manager only put in this spreadsheet the response to point B. Was A not important, or a misunderstanding on the auditor's part? The response to A makes it out that way but if I'm to transcribe EVERYTHING then I don't understand why I'd leave certain shit out. I don't really know enough about the processes to know which paragraphs of info are the most pertinent response to put into this document.
One of the managers who gave me this task sounded like an idiot who didn't even know how'd she tackle this, asked me "Any questions?" before she fucked off. As if glancing at the spreadsheet without looking into the audit documents in detail was going to reveal problems like this until I actually started working on it. Now I'm supposed to contact a corporate lady for any questions but it's going to be awkward because I literally started another word document with all my fucking questions on it. This is all remote too so it's not like I can corner anyone in the office and make them answer to this. My only hope is a tense phone call where I can't show anything that I'm talking about, or an email where I'll likely receive half baked answers leaving the rest up to my interpretation as usual.
>>553828>i had like 20 failed conversations/dates
You're like a little baby
>NEVER HAD SIGNIFICANT OTHER
he's actually my first boyfriend. i never had an elementary school boyfriend, nor an almost-boyfriend in high-school or college.
and, ngl, i don't know how to flirt and assume people can read my mind. he thought i was simply humoring him by continuing our initial date as long as it did. he could only tell when i said we should go on a second date and held his hand on the way home from said date.
i honestly thought about quitting tinder for the semester before matching with him. something will come up, but it will be random. + you have to put yourself out there, even if it's just a dating profile.
You pay the bills then so he can buy you your useless shit. Or just ask your boss to fire you so you can get those government shekels too. >>554274
You can’t just choose female chiropractor, dentist and doctor?
I think more people should be showing humility if they're cashing out through unemployment right now, yes. What I see being passed around right now to stave away criticism about this is "Well this should be an argument to raise wages!" as if that'll realistically happen. Not to mention one needs to be making a solid $20/hr to pull $600 a week after tax anyway. Do these people think places like McDonald's and Wal Mart are gonna be stepping up to pay their employees that wage after all this is over?
I make $18/hr, I don't get health insurance and don't pay any other kind of dues, after Uncle Sam rapes my paycheck for his tax collection I take home $560 per week.
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Idk if this goes in the femdom thread but w/e
>checking my old inbox
> found this email from a tall German guy that looks exactly like my type with the verification I asked for
> literally Botticelli angel 10/10 motherfucker right there in my inbox
> he contacted me 2 days before I gave up and started looking for a normie bf
I’m now in a relationship and happy however that guy was fucking beautiful
Tfw no sub muscly sub bf
I've done this so many times in my life, and while I can't say it solves the problem then and there, it's at least a step in the right direction most of the time.
Running away is actually the best option for a lot of people. I don't know why more people don't try it. It's almost like people are more afraid of change than whatever issues are exacerbated by their current situation.
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>"Hm, I wonder what's on Netflix, what's The Wrong Missy?"
>old manchild Happy Madison character for some reason gets two significantly younger and better looking women who want to chase him, but ha ha quirks and hijinks ensue when he accidentally picks the woman he didn't want even though both women could do way better than old swamp ass David Spade
Fuck I hate this trope. It also did not escape me that they tried to typecast and code Lauren Lapkus's character as David Spade's looksmatch or worse, which I might agree with if she were 60 years old like he is. She was born in 1985, wtf?
ntayrt but man, thank you for this. maybe it seems corny but it's genuinely a great reminder and a great mindset to have when you've been depressed/ suicidal before. had to force myself to start thinking in a better way and it took a lot of meds and growing up and therapy but I'm still here. I've been "killing" my old sad sack self by reinventing myself through exercise, dressing/ looking how I want to, and teaching myself the instruments/ crafts I never gave myself the chance to try and learn in my early years because I was "too old" and surrounded by more "talented" friends, which is bullshit. I'm still an amateur but it makes me happy just to be productive instead of letting myself waste away like I tend to. it's possible to become that idealized version of yourself that you were too depressed to ever think you could reach. even if it didn't happen perfectly and in my early 20's (and when does it actually ever go like that, that's so unrealistic lol) at least it's happening.
sometimes my mind will go back to times where I've stared at the rack in my closet and imagined myself hanging there by a scarf, or times where I've been on the road alone at night thinking "what would happen if I drove this shitty old car off the bridge? who would even care?" and fuck. I am so fucking glad I never went through with it. your life is never doomed or over when you think it is. existing in and of itself can be traumatic, but the very fact that we do get to exist and experience life can be amazing if you let it be, all it takes is not being afraid to destroy the parts of you that you aren't happy with
Man, I totally get that. I’ve been picking up new hobbies left right and centre I know it’s just to keep myself distracted but it’s working and I’m actually having fun.
I opened up to my father a few months ago about the suicidal thoughts I’d been having, he’s been through a lot of shit in his life and I felt like shit when I told him. I was just crying and crying and he just hugged me and calmly spoke to me. He talked me down from that metaphorical ledge and I’m so grateful. I don’t want to die anymore even though sometimes things can become too much for me. I like the saying all pain is temporary.
I have so much empathy for people who experience suicidal thoughts and I really hope every single one of them have some one in their life to listen to them and to help them.
Honestly, I hope you carry this anger into the next election when someone proposes paying everyone a liveable wage
You deserve more–don't be mad at your boyfriend and other for making the amount they do, be mad at your boss for not paying that very same amount
>>554240>something will come up, but it will be random. + you have to put yourself out there, even if it's just a dating profile.
This is the worst thing anyone could ever say to someone who has 0 luck in dating
you think I'm somehow NOT looking
If this wasn't a vent thread I probably wouldn't respond this way but FUCK YOU
I know how it works, I know that there's no surefire way to get in a relationship
I'm just UPSET that it happens randomly for some people and never happens for ME
I'm not mad at you, but god damn, I'm mad
Sometimes, when I'm feeling unreasonable and irrational, I get so mad at my teenage self for giving into my mental health problems/bullies/volatile home life and making so many choices with far-reaching consequences.
I love politics, but no one would ever elect me if they knew my past, despite what (mainly leftists) say about giving ordinary people a chance. Besides, even if they would, I'm still mentally ill and likely not suited to a political career.
I just… don't ever seem to be made for anything except the gutter, which is the one place I strive daily never to be again. I'm happy in life now and grateful for what I have, but when I'm struggling to sleep at night it's always this I return to: why couldn't I just have been a consistent & cohesive person, to go with my academic and intellectual ability? Maybe my existence could have been a bit more than falling in love, having kids, and working a dead-end job to pay the bills.
>>554292>What I see being passed around right now to stave away criticism about this is "Well this should be an argument to raise wages!"
Lmao well there it is >>554343
. Don't worry anon, in another four year's time you might have a snowball's chance in hell of electing someone who will promise to raise wages while keeping the inflated cost of living down magically!
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No emo but I have always had this evergrowing knowing feeling that I'm gonna die young. I'm waiting for a possible cancer diagnosis during a pandemic, the feeling keeps getting stronger. The only things I regret not fully experiencing are a good, dumb and passionate fling, a good coke and booze binge and not getting all the tattoos I wanted.
Just one up her by mentioning an actual issue
"yeah it really sucks that people are miscasting the muses, it's like black people are overwhelmingly the victims
of police violence and now THIS? Thanks for bringing this up, you really keep me up to date with all the issues"
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Was doing so well with my diet these past two weeks and have lost about 4 lbs.
Today was a stress eating day because I have no self control. In total today I’ve eaten, a small bowl of spaghetti, spicy thai wide noodles with veggies, two hotdogs with white bread , two spring rolls, and half this pizza.
I’ll probably go walk for an hour to burn at least some of it off.
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Just saw the ending of She-Ra and I HATED IT. I hate this Hollywood agenda of making straight characters suddenly gay to make the show "woke".
don't feel bad. parents who would actually kick you out and cut all ties with you don't love you, they love the idea of you.
and, no, they won't die from the betrayal. they'll die from not having complete control over you and your life.
Your parents who will only support the version of you that they want is not love. And no, I do not think you’re bad for taking advantage of their financial resources until you can get on your feet because they made the conscious decision to have you, and apart of that is supporting you.
Take their money, and run anon.
Thirding other anons, take the money and run. I was under the religious tyranny of my parents and them being complete control freaks right up into my mid 20s, despite having lost belief years prior ago. I just felt like I had to be what they wanted me to be or else they wouldn't support me or black sheep me even worse. That turned out to be true. Of course I'm happy I had parents capable of helping to pay the remaining tuition after my scholarships ran out but it's not as if they never dangled that over my head knowing how much power they had, and what they could take away from me. They made these financial threats if I didn't follow their commands, it wasn't right. They absolutely did not help me with grad school–even though I only went to one because they made me feel like shit for not wanting to–because by then I was out and they knew I had done things that they disagreed with.
It was worth it to not be in undergrad debt, but my continuing to pacify them afterwards just got me in worse debt. So everything I put up with means a wash anyway at this point. I guess don't over doormat? I absolutely agree that some parents fall in love with their idealized version of kids because they see them as an extension of themselves. Not for who they really are or what they want.
Keep playing nice until you can leave, with a diploma, a job and no debt.
You're doing what you need to survive while they're pieces of shit who want you to submit to a sexist religion and would rather risk your fucking death than accept and support you regardless of your beliefs. There's nothing for you to feel bad about.
>>554499>was kind of queer coded (in a funny non-intentional way)
Thats the 80s, baby.
I care! Cause I loooved She-ra and I hate how Hollywood shit in all of our youth shows/movies etc just to find their "woke" agenda. Leave that shit in Steven Universe and so. I mean I just found out they are doing a remake of Scarface! Why!? inb4 Tony becomes a woman in the new one.
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Okay, so I’m sorry in advance for the long text but here it comes.
I’d like to roast myself for being enough of an idiot and unblocking someone during quarantine, you know to see if they have changed their ways and actually grown from it.
Spoiler alert they haven’t, I was talking about weightlifting and muscle gain etc bc it’s something I literally dedicate 7-8 hours a week in average.
It all started with a “ oh I’m going to lose ten kilos in a month” which is like the worst fucking idea long term especially for someone with low muscle.
So I was nice I linked a whole list of studies which they ignore and then I was like “ok look people have been doing this for a very long time there’s proven ways to do it safely”
Then they flipped 180 and went “I’m tired of being told I’m a loser because of my hairline and jawline women are the worst”
“Yeah I was just talking about what came out of my head”
And then I realised I’m a fucking idiot for allowing this person back into my life
as someone who works in IT like they do I’m fucking tired of that excuse so I said
“you're going to go through life
thinking that girls don't like you because you're a tech geek. And I want you to know, from the bottom of my heart that that won't be true. It'll be because shit like this”
Which to be fair I totally copy pasted but still applies
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Why's writing an application so stupidly hard. I'm just trying to get a part time job so I can make some money before leaving for uni in autumn, but I have literally no work experience. I only had to write one once for an unpaid internship and put stupid shit like interests and hobbies into the resume because it would've been empty otherwise, but I can't do that when I'm trying to apply for part time at a supermarket, right? I don't even want to think about the cover letter… When I tried searching for fitting examples I found texts in which people described themselves as "excited to be a profitable asset" and even more embarrassing things. Why does it have to be like this
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Her boss is an asshole but both of you need to be locked in a padded cell.
How does it feel to be this retarded?
The original show literally has all the female characters have more or less the same personality, it was made on the 80s to sell toys.
"woke agenda" gay people exist in real life you know?
I like women and honestly this stupid cartoon made me my cry.
How does it feel being a mommy for a full grown male.
Has he encouraged you to stay home at all? (I ask purely out of curiosity, I know a lot of people can’t afford to have everyone stay home right now.)
I’m really sorry you’re dealing with that, though. It sounds like you need to establish some rules with him, like if he’s going to stay home while you work excessively, he needs to start playing househusband. We all know that if the positions were flipped, dudes would be expecting us to keep a tidy house, etc.
I would if I was severely wronged. And I wouldn't resort to violence as my first choice in anon's case, the murder bit was exaggerated but there has to be a punishment of any sorts that's more than just a small fine. It's a sad world where that anon has no other option but to keep quiet despite the injustice that was done to her.>>554675
The padded cell shtick wore off. Get a new one.
I've always felt like I was fated to die young too, like another anon said it might come from trauma or tragic things in your life. makes sense in my case because my dad died of a rare cancer when I was young, and cancer runs in my family, but I've kind of gotten less paranoid about it since I've made it this far into my twenties. If I ever got slapped with a terminal illness I would go full chaotic bucket list tho, so I sorta understand where you're coming from>>554475
adding on to the she-ra anons, I haven't watched much of it but I'm like half and half on the show. I really want to love it and have no problem with modernizing the cast to be more diverse, or even with the campiness because who cares, it's an 80s toy show reboot they can do what they want with it. plus some of the art and character designs are pretty cool. I just don't see myself sitting through five seasons of something that's a little too on the nose, steven universe pandering esque that misses the mark more often than not. some of the characters seem super tumblr tier cringe too which is a shame because from the clips I've seen I really like new catra/ entrapta/ some of the princesses, I would probably even really like the nonbinary shapeshifting villain because I love that like bastard trickster trope, but they seem to ruin it by pushing the woke part of it too hard instead of interesting character development. let me know if I'm wrong tho and it's an actually good show that's worth watching, that's just the impression I've gotten from what I've seen but it might just be that the fanbase is more cringe than the show, lol
All my friends I'm chatting with have now been talking about alcohol for like, an hour, they don't even drink often or talk about it.. but they are, all talking about their drinking plans and my boyfriend keeps talking about it too, talking about how he wishes he got that alcohol and how we (me and him) should go "grocery shopping" soon.
I finally broke the silence and responded to someone saying bars are overpriced, saying "Yeah and I never feel much from it.."
To which my (not so close) friend responded snappily "Yeah, because you fucking drink more than any of us ever." I feel so embarrassed and upset with myself mostly. Idk if I'm overreacting with trying to hold back (badly rn) crying
My point wasnt about them having more or less same personalities, its about the "creators" making like 80% of the show gay when it obviously wasn't. >>554665
So because this is an all female board everybody is supposed to be ok with a non-gay character suddenly becoming gay? gtfo>>554718
It's everything you mentioned, don't waste your time. Stay away from these american shows that seem to come from the same source (this one, steven universe, etc).
I'm doing better actually. I need to stop using lolcow as a diary like some other anons talked about earlier. The anonymity makes it so easy to say whatever you want.
Though legit just came across some girl on AO3 who left a suicide note. I haven't even read fanfiction in years, I just wanted to check in and see what people wrote for a pairing I was big into. Feels like I'm in limbo or something, crazy coincidences.
Oh my god
Where was this? What fic? This is terrible
God, can't you just fuck off? Nobody cares about your bpd hatred, its getting real old. Yeah I have bpd, yeah we are difficult, yeah its a mental illness, yeah whatever. Just go make a bpd hate thread. >>554878
Maybe, maybe if he wanted to/could realise that he might be autistic, we could work on it. But he looks down on aspies and makes fun of them, even though he has the same traits he mocks. And he gets horrible defensive when I suggest it, even though he have a lot of the same traits I do and he is 100% sure I'm a sped lol.
Think about it, the types of people to make those YouTube videos and look like that aren't everyone at a uni. There is hundreds of other students that will look, act and think differently. I worried about the same thing but at the end of the day your not there to fit in your there to learn and yeah, there are a lot of girls that look like that but there is an equal amount that don't.
Try not to get caught up creating an idyllic university experience in your head either cause reality is always different. I think a lot of students look at uni with rose tinted glasses and forget that it's not that special when your actually there and working on your assignments.
Good luck, anon! Now is a great time to start new healthy habits, and it seems like you're on the right track. You should consider seeing a therapist if you're that averse to exercise, though.
Also, you shouldn't hide how you look, but you shouldn't act insecure around him or self-sabotage either. Just accept that he finds you attractive now and deal with any issues that may arise (doubtful unless you're applying a ton of filters) when the time comes to meet him in person. Acting like you're an unattractive fraud is a great way to make other people think so too. At the very least it is exhausting to deal with somebody who puts themselves down all the time.
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>gets back from store with all the ingredients, hyped for delicious pastry making
>finds out the food scale is broken and the weed scale is nowhere to be found
The universe is a cruel uncaring void
That sucks, anon!!
(Unrelated, but that gif is killing me. rofl)
Can I ask why being drunk alone is more fun? I don't want to lecture you or anything I just don't get why it's better than playing a lot of videogames or watching lots of netflix and I want to understand
A therapist sounds good though, and also trying not to keep any booze in the house if you can
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I've become very successful and can't stop feeling guilty about it, especially when I think about how much most of my peers are struggling. I know that some of my success can be attributed to skill and motivation, but privilege limited how badly I could fail during a rough patch, and talent allowed me to outperform my peers in my field while putting in a fraction of the effort. I feel like I don't deserve what I have. And then I think about how much younger generations are going to struggle and how much of an advantage my (hypothetical) kids would have and feel even worse.>>554933>I feel like I have nothing to be sober for if that makes any sense.
At some point (if you haven't hit it already), even before you become physically dependent, drinking is going to make you feel incredibly shitty in every conceivable way and you'll need to drink more in order to feel better; that cycle alone is enough reason to quit drinking heavily. You sound depressed and really should see a therapist.
I feel like no matter how hard I try, I am just not cut out for school. I do my best and get mostly straight A's, but I've never been able to manage more than 12 units (amerifag for 4 classes) at a time. I also can't work more than part-time on this schedule without literally losing my mind from all the stress and pressure. I'm already burnt out as hell after doing this for almost 4 years. I recently cut back to 3 classes per semester because my mental health was so bad that I was contemplating suicide. My life had lost all color and I'd stopped doing all of my hobbies because I was so focused on school. It was like I couldn't find time to do anything fun anymore. Sometimes I didn't even have the energy when I actually did get a bit of down time and would just spend it lying in bed watching Netflix. I like my major, but I've always struggled to focus and adhere to the strict schedule required to get high grades in school. I don't want to use this as an excuse, but after struggling this much even after almost 4 years of maintaining a high GPA, I'm really starting to wonder if I have a learning disability of some kind.
I'm also in a field that is very competitive in terms of grad schools. I know people who are taking 5+ classes while working almost full-time, getting research experience done on the side as well, and they're still able to maintain a high GPA. I feel like my efforts are nothing in comparison for this, and that no matter how hard I try, I'm never going to be a competitive applicant for grad school. School makes me miserable anyway, so maybe that's a good thing at the end of the day that at this point I've basically given up on the idea of grad school. I just worry that I'm never going to land a career that I like and can actually support myself with if I only have a bachelor's degree. I'm basically surrounded by people claiming that I'm dooming myself to Starbucks-tier positions for the rest of my life if I don't apply to grad school, and I don't really have any evidence to suggest this won't be the case. The only people I know who are making decent money without a BA, or without anything higher than a BA, are working in IT.
anons… i dated a real life onision. i dont think you understand. LITERALLY AN ONION BOY… i swear this isnt a lie or a joke
>met guy, hit it off well, fall in love
>guy turns out to be a low key asshole, constantly threatens to break up with me if i dont act the way he wants me to. always puts down my degree, my hobbies, my religion, my apperance, everything i do pretty much
>i love this guy for some reason. i really do
>onion boy tells me weed is bad and that it rots your brain. that only fuck ups use it.
>i like weed. i begged him time after time to let me use it. he said "dont talk to me about this ever again"
>i took it as "i dont want to know about this"… and i got depressed… and i used weed… this was months ago.. like november 2019
>he asks me recently if ive been using. i say no cause i know that if i admit it hes gonna dump me and i love this guy but he just doesnt listen to anyone but himself
>he says okay
>next morning, he tells me we need to talk on monday. i push him all day till he finally tells me whats wrong
>during the morning, HE HACKED MY FACEBOOK AND MY WATTSAPP!!! AND HE READ ALLL OF MY CONVERSATIONS WITH MY CLOSEST FRIENDS!!! he dug up so much dirt, accused me of cheating (not true) and found out about the weed, found all kinds of shit, me telling my friends how he treated me and my friends telling me to break up with him and me going "ill think about it but i love him :(", saw my suicidal shit, EVERYTHING, he went through all of my closest friends shit and went MONTHS before
>called me a liar, broke up with me and berated me for like an hour saying i was the worst person he had ever met and shit
this was yesterday. im so heartbroken. i couldnt sleep last night. i feel so guilty that i pushed him away. i shouldnt have lied. im so stupid anons. i know i shouldnt love him but i do. and hes never going to forgive me for this. anons i dont know what to do. how to move on from this. from this guilt and how to not fall into this shit again. in my last relationship i got cheated on… then in this one… this happens… we were together for one year. please help me
If you're this stressed as an undergrad then a
PhD would wreck you. What are you studying?
I'm not going to judge you for falling for this guy, but he is clearly very dangerous and abusive
. You need to block him on every imaginable platform and try your damndest not to let any lingering feelings you have for him tempt you into contacting him.
Do you have RL friends who could help support you through this? I'm really concerned for you because this guy sounds straight up psychopathic and the most important thing you need to do right now is stay away from him.
i do have friends that can help me with this, but i have to put up a strong face and pretend this doesnt hurt. but it hurts so bad. they all tell me its for the best because he has always been kinda mean and they alaways told me to dump him. and i mean every single one of them told me to dump him. so theyre happy about this. but im not. im suffering so much and i dont want to dissapoint them>>554967
he didnt let me dye my hair, in fact made me change my red hair to a boring black… made me stop doing cosplays or going to cons…. constantly made fun of my body and everything about me. pressured me into believing in god when i truly dont. made me insecure about everyhting. tried to push me away from my closest friends. didnt understand my mental illness or tried to. even said i shouldnt go to therapy, that i was going to be sick forever. list goes on and on, why do i miss him?
Hah, I figured. It's good that you're not thinking of pursuing a PhD because, as I'm sure you know, academic jobs are in very short supply and the most challenging aspects of getting the degree involve dealing with eccentrics and narcissists and coping with the fact that you're doing slave labor to advance someone else's career.
If you get a taught master's then you should be totally fine; you can even do a part-time program. It's true that you probably won't make a lot of money without one, so it's worth looking into. If you like research, you could consider aiming for a career in UX; good researchers make a lot of money and it's a fun job with none of the downsides of academia.
>>554976>why do i miss him?
It sounds like you don't value yourself. Maybe it makes more sense to you to have a guy treat you horribly as opposed to one who will support and appreciate you for who you are. If you don't believe you deserve better treatment, you're not going to be attracted to those who will treat you well.
At the end of the day, even if you don't love yourself, it's not worth the agony that comes with chronic abuse. You just end up feeling worse. I had to learn that the hard way, too.
Learning to love and value yourself, even if you have to fake it at times, is so much healthier in the long run than dating guys who treat you like shit. It's not going to feel natural or comfortable at first, but it gets easier with time and effort.
Thanks for the advice, and for not dumping on me for being retarded at school lmao. I tend to get a lot of "pull yourself up by bootstraps" comments if I talk about my struggles with this.
I'm not actually sure if I like research or not. I have basically no experience with it. I really hate math and stats, so I figure it might not be a great fit for me. I feel like I do better on the counseling side of psychology, even though I don't have much interest in becoming a therapist. I've considered academic counseling as a possibility, but to my understanding, those jobs are in really high demand and difficult to land.
Honestly, one of my biggest concerns with grad school and with any career I end up with in general is that I'm going to end up having to commit so much time to it that I'm no longer going to be able to do my hobbies. I'm someone who is very passionate about art and creative writing, and I get the most enjoyment out of that than doing anything else.
Ultimately, at this point, I just want a job that I don't totally hate, pays enough that I can get by without too much stress, and to still have time to enjoy my hobbies.
Jesus get a fucking grip. Your friends would understand that it’s normal to be heartbroken even if it was an abusive
relationship. Sit down and write down a list of every single fucked up thing he has done to you and describe exactly how they made you feel. Every time you feel like you miss him, read this list over and over until the feeling subsides. Have you blocked him everywhere? Do it. Then do something that’s engaging like cooking, video game, arts. Go get some Manic panic and dye your hair. Put on some makeup, talk to your friends.
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tfw no gf
School isn't easy for everyone, it doesn't mean that you're a failure or anything. You just have to get through it. A full-time master's program would be about as time-consuming as undergrad, but it would also increase the chance that you get a job that isn't soul-sucking, like HR or sales.
Though if you're passionate about art, a career in marketing might be fun for you, or UX design if you are into that sort of thing. If you do get a master's then going into art therapy might be more interesting than other forms of counseling, plus you could set your own hours. If you hate stats then there are purely qualitative UX researchers, though there's usually a limit to how far they can advance.
Sorry for solutionizing your life, lol
My dad first found a bedbug months ago in December and didn’t do anything about it. He figured he killed the one bug biting him and that was it. We live in a co-op and he’s on the board but decided that it was done and over with so he hasn’t said anything about it. Now that corona is here and our city has been hit very
hard by it, he’s decided to not tell management/the board until lockdown lifts. I’m personally also very wary of strangers coming into our home at the moment because my parents have a laundry list of medical issues and I’m terrified if they get it. My parents (mainly my stubborn dad) has a lot of junk and keeps his clutter all around the house and refuses to throw anything out so I know that already makes things worse.
Professional treatment is also definitely going to be very expensive and my parents have a lot of debt already. I’m debt free and can probably afford it, but I’ve given up over half my savings to cover all the bills recently, and currently only work a minimum wage temp job that I’m only guaranteed to be in for just a few more weeks (have been job hunting for months now but corona shutting shit down put a stop to it) so my financial priority is keeping a roof over our heads. Just a lot of bad things happening at once. I’m going to buy some Cimexa and plastic sheeting and try to do as much as I can to fend them off, and hopefully at a later date when I can more comfortably pay for professional treatment, I will.
you deserve so much better. you need to know your worth. someday you'll find someone who truly loves all of you and won't make you "beg" to let you do something.
don't talk to him ever again. no, not even for "closure". there's no closure with assholes like that.
If nothing else, get the little cups to go under your bed legs that keep them from getting onto your bed, get a bed bug proof mattress cover and pillow covers, launder all your bedding in hot water and dry them.
Keep your bed 18 inches or more away from the wall and don't touch it unless you've showered and changed into clean pajamas that have been stored in an airtight container. That should at least keep them off your bed.
I'm sorry anon, I had them a couple years ago and it was awful. I've heard that they don't like lavender scent so maybe use some scented lotion if you can't get everything cleaned right away
anon, please i'm begging you leave him now. can you stay with family or a friend?
he isn't going to change. i'm sorry you had to go through that and it's going to hurt, but the longer you stay, the more hurt you will feel, both mentally and physically.
Thanks anon! Unfortunately I have a loft bed held up with big slabs of wood on either side rather than legs (pls no bully, it was my first bed after my parents decided I didn’t need to sleep in a crib anymore, I’m small and never outgrew it, and at this point my bedroom is too small to sacrifice the space it saves me and I’d rather deal with it and invest in a proper adult bed when I move out). The good thing I can probably dust the entire structure and lure the bedbugs into walking through it since they have to climb up it to get to me. Might get the little cups for my parents though!
I want to buy mattress covers too but I’ve also read that 3.5 plastic sheeting is good too. It’s cheaper so do you think it would work to just encase and tape up our mattresses in it? My parents whole existence is literally so counterintuitive to everything I need to do to get rid of bedbugs, so this is going to be the roughest uphill battle… I wish we could get professionals because maybe, just maybe, they’ll listen to professionals telling them to declutter all these unnecessary shit on top of treating our home. We also have a small senior dog who loooves sleeping in all those tight crevices we can’t reach so I have to be extra careful about what I can/can’t use. She doesn’t care to eat or lick anything she’s not supposed to but… I don’t want to take any chances…
I just told my dad “hey, I’m buying plastic sheeting and ASG dust, also we have to move your bed away from the wall” and this DUMBASS said “no plastic sheeting doesn’t work, and our bed is already 2-3 inches away from the wall, they aren’t getting up from the wall” and that he’s buying one of those stupid sound or vibration things. Yeah because those definitely
work. And then had the audacity to say that it’ll just chase the bugs off to our neighbors and then it’ll be their problem??? As if we don’t live in a huge multi unit building and SPREADING THEM MORE isn’t going to create a bigger issue and a bigger heading for us down the line. Treating just my bedroom is useless but better than nothing I guess. Fucking hate stupid boomers.
So, he has the same amount of anger control a toddler has, the strength of a grown man, and no ability in verbalizing his frustration or not attempting murder( any one that hits your head wants to kill you deep down anon) when contradicted.
Can you go live with family or friends? It sounds like a very dangerous situation for you.
Anon, I hope that you’ll be able to move on and live a better life where you are loved and treated with the respect that you deserve. Break ups suck, losing someone you so dearly love (whether they deserve your love or not) sucks, but after you lift yourself back up without him, you’ll wonder why you ever missed or loved that sack of shit in the first place.
It’s so hard to learn how to love yourself, and so easy to cling onto someone else, but please anon. Please cut all contact with him and start to move on with your life. It’s so easy to be clouded by feelings of love, and yearning to be loved, but this isn’t worth your time, your privacy, or your tears. I truly hope that a few years down the line, you’ll be happier and loved by someone who is good to you, and you’ll see onion boy and spit in his face.
Your dad is an idiot. Catching them early is the only way to stop an invasion. Once they breed off your blood, it's professionals only. I had to plastic wrap every thing i owned and toss more then 50 percent when my nyc apartment was invaded in 2016. My room mate was getting bit and didnt tell us until it infected my room. I'm sorry you had to go through this. it's legit the worst thing to deal with. You need to call a person to spray everything and wipe EVERYTHING with alcohol, because their eggs look like dust mites and are insanely hard to detect. they can also lay dormant for up to a year.
If your dad doesnt clean up and throw shit out, they will never go away.
If you're the only one who's sensitive to the bites, that might be why. Only 20% of people actually react to them. If no one has a reaction the infestation can get out of control more easily because by the time you actually see them, it's a major infestation.
Also, not sure if you know this but they wont bite through clothes. So cover up as much as possible (this will probably suck if you're in a hot place). I was getting the bites on my feet, arms and chest and thought nothing of it until I learned that… those were the parts of my body that were exposed. Unfortunately you can't do much about your face but you can wear gloves and socks along with long sleeves and pants.
Alright, I can't sleep so I just want to type this up because I have basically nobody I can tell about this.
This is the story about how I'm thoroughly misunderstood.
People have assumed the worst about me for the longest time. I don't really know why. I'm not innocent or anything, I have a weird creepy past, but I was under the impression that I moved past that as I don't really do that anymore.
And by creepy I just mean social situations that I don't actually understand and come off as overbearing or too interested.
An artist acquaintance of mine takes commissions and I recently got a job so I thought "hey, I'll commission something and help her out". That's nice right?
I didn't really want anything specific, so I thought maybe I could commission something she could put in her portfolio. I asked her to just draw like a tasteful black and white artsy profile of head, but she thought I was asking for a full blow porn picture of herself. I'm not actually paraphrasing here. I wanted to explain myself, but she didn't really want to hear me out–understandable because she believes I just tried to commission porn of her.
But that's not what I wanted nor was it my intention. I suck at talking and I can totally see how she would think that, but I also totally don't see why she would actually think that unless she just assumes I'm some type of pervert who does this all the time.
Naturally I just stopped interacting with her directly, though I did give her a $30 ko-fi thing.
But that's the sort of thing I'm talking about. People assume the worst because they think I'm the worst and I kinda hate it.
More recently, I creeped another person out. A friend of a friend who I've never interacted with directly. While browsing my friends tumblr, I encountered her tumblr. So I started following it. Occasionally I would post messages and send stuff I thought was fun, because it turns out we had a pretty similar humor. But this was all anonymous because I don't personally have a tumblr. This isn't creepy to me because I'm just interacting with a blog I like and found online. But a few years later (now) I get a twitter and I started following her on twitter because, well, more of the same types of content. I reach out from my own personal twitter because I'm looking to interact with her on a personal level. She doesn't know who I am at first because I don't have my personal information online–I ask her to DM me so I can tell her, but she thinks I'm a cop or something? A mutual friend on mine jokingly supports her theory, which I don't take to mean anything serious. I end up liking the majority of the stuff she tweets and commenting every now and then when I think I have something to add. Posts about anime, scented candles, depression, a bunch of stuff that I also like interacting with.
I have this idea, I can send her a message on her tumblr about something cool I think she might like–nope, apparently this entire time I was stalking her. Our mutual friend chews me out and asks how I even founds her tumblr–despite knowing about it for quite some time.
Apparently her main blog isn't active and because she thinks I interacted with the main blog, and not the side blog she posts on regularly, that I reverse google hack did something to stalk her and find her information online. I can understand if I creeped her out, but that's not what I was trying to do nor did I interact with her in the way she thinks I did. I can understand if I came on too strong, but apparently she thinks I'm stalking her. I can see it from her perspective, but it only makes sense if you don't know mine.
Backstory: The mutual friend and I have a history, and it's somewhat toxic. For years, this friend hung onto something I never realized I said that was very damaging for her. Some line about wanting to take advantage of her stuck with her and for the past 10 years all of our interactions she's had this in the back of her head. Rightly so, that's a scary thing to have to think about. But I can't possibly imagine having said this and I can't find any indication of the context in which this was said. Did I actually mean it or was there some misunderstanding there too? I don't actually remember saying it, but hey, believe all women, so I must have said it. She wouldn't lie and hasn't ever really lied to me. But I don't say those things, and even though I did, I definitely don't anymore.
But her main points were sort of built around this idea that I need to learn how to interact with people online.I can TOTALLY understand that because I don't actually talk to people IRL, but then she brought my mental health into it. She said I needed to talk to my therapist about it, and I will, but that's not really what therapy is for. She says that instead of being lonely and wanting a connection, I have this entitlement to people's lives where I demand to know every aspect of their life. This is kinda crazy to me–I could have a facebook and try to reach out on there, but I don't. I just wanted to talk about leftist politics and I thought it would be fine to talk to her on tumblr about it (btw the message I sent was about writing a letter about how Bernie Sanders is the best choice).
But what really kills me is that my friend feels responsible for me, that she's enabling me. She sees a pattern that I haven't considered. In this past 10 years she says that I negatively impacted 4 specific women and I can understand that, but what I don't understand is how much of a misunderstanding there can be. I tried to talk to her about this, but she said I was pushing some sort of responsibility onto her and didn't want to be the source for all of the solutions I'm asking for. But I never asked for any sort of solution from her, I just wanted to talk. Everyone assumes the worst and I'm sick of it.
At the end of the day my friends says that I need to be able to read context because that's what being an adult is. I don't have tons of practice about this and also my interactions are always online, so I don't know how to do that without either constantly approaching people to ask if I did anything wrong or by going too far and doing something without realizing it. Neither are really solutions and there is no good solution because nobody wants to ask what my intentions are or clarify boundaries.
I can agree that I need to learn how to navigate social situations, and I really am sorry I creeped this lady out, but I'm not a stalker pervert who feels entitled to other people's lives. I just don't understand people and I don't get the chance to because nobody really wants to understand me.
I think the "new" one is even worse. The animation is subpar, the tumblr ideals are shit, and that scene with the "main pair" near the end was taken directly out of Sailor Moon. And don't let me start with that Final Fantasy phenomenon. Hopefully the writer won't get hired again so she won't have the opportunity to shit all over another classic.>>555020
Tell your dad that maybe (probably) they got into your apartment from another apartment so even if you got rid of them, if the other apartments are still infested, youll keep getting reinfested. I once lived in the 26th floor of a building and was getting ants! Called the exterminator and they got rid of them luckily but they said we were screwed in the long run (would have to keep dealing with the pest) because if the ants have gone aaaall the way up to the 26th floor is because they keep finding food in the floors under us.
This is funny because you don’t realize you’re doing exactly the same thing right here on this thread. (Posting a much longer wall of text than anybody else, barging into a website of mostly women complaining about ‘believe all women’, etc)
Sorry man, I think you might be a lost cause. Better to just accept it.
Something similar happened to me. Tldr; I'm autistic.
Maybe try and talk to your therapist about this, I hope it will help.
Who the fuck has time to read all that.
Fail rant by cringe scrote
Yeah, because you have a degree in scrotology.
Did all the assholes woke up today? How come you have no time to read but have time to post your unhelping answer?
Why can't you politely tell her to keep her posts short instead of pointless bitching?
Fuck it, there is no sympathy. Just fucking ignore.
Why did you quit your job? How do you know he only
did it out of pity or whatever?
Do you have anyone to talk to / are you alone?
I felt awful at it and don't have the energy to do it anymore.
About bf, he always said that marriage felt useless since we have already have contract-like marriage. Also we were high and told him some heavy shit. I feel awful, like I blackmailed into it. We haven't talked about it since anyway so…
I only have shallow friends. I have the one friend but I know he's not in a good place either.
Anyway, my depression and suicidal ideas have been there for so long that I feel like the boy who cried wolf. People are just tired of it. I've tried all kind of treatment and it never gets better.
I feel like I’m cursed or something. The trope is that people like me, who choose shitty men to date, were raised by a single parent, or saw a lot of abuse growing up, etc. That kind of thing. But I don’t even have that excuse. My parents are still married. Only saw my parents really fight on one occasion.
I just keep fucking my life up. My first serious boyfriend (2-3 years during high school, and a few months after graduation)
Was abusive. He’d force me to have sex with him, and if I didn’t he would yell and scream, and also yell and scream at his little sister who was only like 5, and also throw things at her. So I’d always give in to make him stop. My first time was with him when I had just turned 16 and looking back it was basically rape. He was just grinding on me in our underwear and then he made me take off my underwear and promised to just grind, not actually penetrate me, but suddenly he thrust his dick into me and tried to have sex with me but I started crying and made him stop and there was blood everywhere. He often touched me in public when I didn’t want it. I tried to break up and he followed me and stalked me and manipulated me into taking him back. His parents were on and off and he saw his dad beat his mom before so I assume that’s where he got his behavior from.
After that I married a guy who ended up lying about a lot of things, like where he was, who he was with, and I caught him searching for child porn one time. He always borrowed money from me even though I was a part timer and he worked at a huge company for a good salary. He got fat, smelly, lazy, he wouldn’t even watch his one dinner dish “I’ll do it later, I’ll do it before bed, I’ll do it tomorrow morning…” he also stole about $1000 that friends and family gave us for our marriage gift. Keyword US. Not just him. But he took it all and spent it on god knows what. His dad also left his family when he was a child and had like a mental break and dyed his hair in blonde and black striped and went nuts. I’m separated from him, divorce in the works, but the new guy I’m with that I thought was perfect for me and I gave up a lot of things to be with him is probably shitty too. Tbh there were warning signs. A lot. But I had left my husband and this guy and I DO really get alone when times are good. I’ve never felt more in love or more comfortable with somebody before. He says the same. But he’s aggressive and violent and punches things when angry and has hit me on a couple occasions. For some reason I’m still so attached to him and want him to love me forever and not let me go. I’m a moron I guess. But I don’t know why I keep attracting these guys. Or they attract me.
Stop with your individualistic ramblings. Don't you have any ideology at all?
You have no other beliefs in your life that you would die for, save for your meaningless, personal existence? For shame.
How consumed are you by the "life" that you think is "yours"? All of these feelings and thoughts you have have all been constructed and influenced by men and demons alike in some board room somewhere. Your desire to be happy, and your depression when you can't be happy via the cheap emotional "outlets" they provide, like marriage, movies, material goods, engineered food.
Wake the fuck up. Devote yourself to an ideology that is bigger than yourself. Devote yourself to an idea and a community. If you feel your life is so worthless that you cannot even individually live it, sacrifice that idea and give it up to a collective ideology.
Make it the reason you wake up, eat, save money and devote your intelligence and skills towards it.
i'm younger than you, but i feel similarly, albeit more for reasons that have to do with myself, and the state of my own life. you're not alone, and i think it's good to shed the tunnel vision of feeling like you "need" a man to be happy or enjoy life.
even if you've lost hope for the time being, i think your likelihood of meeting a quality partner tends to increase when you focus on bettering yourself. being unwilling to put up with shitty and stupid nonsense seems to go a long way, too. i really hope you find some female friends you can connect with and get to know on a deeper level. good luck, anon.
You can. When you find something that is timeless and follows the law of nature, you will know.
For now I suggest devoting yourself to studying classic and modern ideologies.
Go through the political spectrum, go through the morality spectrum. What is it about each ideology that pulled people to it in the past? How did their actions reflect their belief in said ideologies and philosophy?
How can YOU devote yourself to it?
For now I suggest radically changing the way you view and think about society. Do not feel despair when you are unable to fit inside of it, or are unable to obtain any meaning from it. It is designed to cause this angst and self loathing and prescribe you pharmaceuticals, hedonistic pleasures and lies, which only further the suffering.
Start thinking about WHY we have the social norms we have.
Why is binging media for hours at a time a funny or good thing?
Why is taking multiple medications acceptable and why do so many people do it?
Why do we feel like we owe our employers our lives when they ritualistically abuse us and dehumanize us?
Why do we sit in cars and trains and buses for hours at a time to go to these things?
Why wouldn't the government provide us with better workers rights?
Why do we stuff our faces with food that has been engineered with millions of dollars to be addicted as possible?
Why is it becoming illegal to grow your own food?
In some countries, why are there certain historical events you will go to jail for questioning?
Think about these things, think about how you participate in them and why. Think about alternatives, think about how you can get your boyfriend involved in this.
Your life lacks meaning now because it has been CREATED and CONDITIONED to lack meaning. That is the default in this society. You are born and die a consumer, if you fail to ascend to devoting yourself to an ideology.
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I just want a decent salad. The grocery stores are still short stocked and people are still buying out certain things, so every time I go all the good produce kinda sucks. The lettuce sucks.
I'd order from a restaurant but the last salad I tried to have to-go was so pathetic I'm scared to try it again. They gave me half when I paid for full, and somehow managed to wilt my lettuce leaves from putting my box on top of something hot, while making the separate box of my grilled chicken incredibly cold.
I'm trying to grow small lettuce plants on my apartment patio but it's very low yield and takes forever to regrow. Really only good for a handful of sandwich roughage and that's it.
I wanted to make carrot lox for my bagels too. No good carrots at the store and for whatever reason some savage bought out all the liquid smoke. Yeah I know first world problems and all that but it's annoying.
Maybe try going to a park or a hike
Most establishments are closed, but you're still allowed to go outside
That was literally one of the most disgusting things i've ever seen on this board, fucking nationalists are scum of the earth.
I hope anon is ok.
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Finally had the guts to interact with a guy from my city i really want to be friends with in social media and he didn't answer my DM (its been weeks ok), im unbelievably bummed out because he seems pretty awesome.
My dad has to act like such a fucking martyr all the time and I'm so sick of it. "I bought this for you, why are you so ungrateful?!" like you stupid fucking dumbshit. No one asked you to buy thousands of dollars of jewelry for us, NONE OF US WANT IT, and now you and mom are in debt because of it. This stupid dumbass bought several used fans off facebook… WHAT IS THE POINT? JUST BUY A NEW ONE. "Well the person said they never used it and are selling it for so much cheaper!" You fucking IDIOT, just BUY A NEW ONE. Now we have at least 7 fucking fans, two of which are weak as fuck and he says he'll constantly clean them and screams at us if we try to bring up throwing them out because ~*~*they totally work, he just has to clean them*~*~ meanwhile all he does is sit on his ass and watch TV.
He bought me a $2k luxury watch for my birthday last year. What was the point? I think it was because I asked if he could get a battery replacement for one of my cheap watches, and this stupid dumbass comes out with a $2k watch. When am I going to wear this out? What is the point of it? Thankfully it's a quartz movement so I just leave it in the box (he was super offended when he found out it was quartz, as if I want to wear this expensive watch outside and get jumped for it). He didn't have $2k laying around to afford it, he just charged it to his stupid credit card as usual. I love my dad but I wish he would learn some fucking common and fiscal sense. I don't even know how my mom keeps a roof over our heads. She owes me $6k now because I've been letting her pull from my savings to cover all the bills and everything, and I want that money back because it was supposed to be my safety net money from when I eventually move out, but I feel so bad asking for that money because where the fuck is she supposed to pull $6k from on top of paying the thousands of dollars worth of credit card debt that my dad has racked up?! I've posted about him before, and I know he owes $12k on just one of his many credit cards. God knows how much more my parents owe. I know my mom had to take out a loan when I was in highschool for like $20k because this dumbass can't stay off auction websites and bid on two things thinking he would win one or the other and he won BOTH things (stupid jewelry again) and it totaled up to like $20k. There was another incident where he bought an expensive rolex to give to my uncle (because my uncle said he wanted a rolex), did not ask my uncle "hey is this one okay?" beforehand, and when he tried to present it to uncle and ask to be paid back, my uncle's friend said "no its all fake" (there was some authenticity certificate that came with it too) and my uncle believed his friend. He constantly says "well, you'll inherit all of this in the future!" you idiot, nothing holds its worth better than gold. If you wanted to throw stupid amounts of money on jewelry for me to inherit, then buy gold instead of all the tacky diamond shit you buy.
Sorry for the wall of text but I'm so sick of watching my dad act like a 15 year old trustfund kid who's got access to rich daddy's credit card. My coworkers were bewildered when I paid off my student loans in just two years after graduating on top of having a good chunk in savings, but it's because I live in constant fear of being tied to debt like my parents. It's literally not that hard to say "hey, I don't need this extremely expensive material item." Stupid dumbfuck can't even be bothered to throw out the tons of packaging it comes in.
wisen up fast anon
Not to mention my own dad is such an ingrate on how me & my brothers turned out to be,hello thank you dad for raising us in a shitty way
And he hates my mother with a burning passion to the point that it's an unhealthy obsession with her
That's infuriating, I'd be raging too. But whenever I waste money, I try to remind myself there's no use crying over spent cash and in the long run it's not a life changing amount of money.
And instead of using a cracked iphone, maybe you can look into getting a cheap android phone just to tide you over until you can get a new iphone? It might make you feel better to have a new phone even it's not your preferred brand.
Wrong imagebaord, femcel>>555367
Then make your own shows instead of shoehorning your agenda in kid's shows
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The farm is really well on its way to becoming a second 4chin.
You're the ones who politicized your own sexual orientation kek. You literally have terms for lesbian feminazis: radfems and that one word I forgot that was used to describe the women only bisexuals>>555406
It's called puppy love.>>555407
Wdym by this
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finally moving out Thursday to be with my ldr and im gonna start my period in like the next three days. im all bloated and crampy yuck
Elaborate or say nothing>>555419
What was the point of this post
I’ve probably bitched about my boyfriend on lolcow 800 times. Here’s another one. TLDR I’m moving out. I have 600 saved and I need about 700 more for a security deposit and what not.
Last night he got frustrated because we haven’t been having sex. And it’s my fault. I don’t like to engage with him because he doesn’t do anything to make me feel like I’m in the mood. I have to force it. And when we have sex it’s because I know that if I don’t soon we’ll have a fight. Well that fight happened.
He’s so irritating. When I try and explain what’s going on he starts lecturing me and giving me advice. I’m literally telling him that he does things that make him unattractive (not doing anything besides smoking weed, wasting hours punding on projects that could take 5 mins, coughing all of the time, never leaving me alone or getting personally offended when I rarely ask for space) and he just tells me sex is supposed to be fun, I make it difficult. Because I am anxious as fuck. There’s no spark, it’s an obligation.
So we start fighting. My biggest issue with his fighting is he starts escalating, cutting me off, telling me to shut up, and mocking me. Calling me a baby, making fun of my voice, telling me I’m a bitch. I’m a bitch and a baby I guess.
Then he apologizes and starts saying “this is weird” and “I feel weird” and essentially I wind up comforting him and saying “it’s okay” after he gets done mocking me and calling me a bitch.
Then it starts over again once we start to talk again. He says I make him feel like a creep and ugly because I said he’s not doing things that are attractive and I have to warm myself up for sex.
After 5 fucking hours of non stop fighting, I end up jerking him off. He proceeds to cum and then go “Are you okay?” And get angry when I tell him “yeah, I’m okay” with a tone that would imply this is fucking awkward, it’s 4 am, and I want to go to fucking sleep. He then lectures me about how if this was a TV show and an audience saw what I said, they would laugh at him. I got up and said I was done and I want this to be over. I get up to smoke a butt. He calls me a baby again. I’m seriously trying to not freak out because I know that name calling and mocking and all that shit makes the conversation devolve and makes the argument worse than it already is. So I tell him verbatim, I’m not a baby and I’m not an idiot. Stop calling me that. You’re not a baby or an idiot, so don’t call me one. In the usual monotone trying not to freak voice. He starts interrupting me, calling me a baby, I’m talking over him, and he keeps telling me to go smoke my fucking cigarette and leave him alone.
Well, I kept talking to him, so he took off his glasses and threw them at the wall by my head. Then I smoked a cigarette, came back in, comforted him, drank an entire tall boy and passed out by 6:30 Am. I’m now on my night shift at work and I just wrote out a game plan.
I cringe reading this:. This is the same guy that recorded us having sex without my knowledge and didn’t tell me until we were living together and I signed a lease. This isn’t the first time he’s been like this I’ve been with him for 5 years.
I just cringe because all I think is you are an idiot and you deserve this for letting this go on for so long. I feel weak and cold and stupid. I’ve seriously considered suicide but more in an impulsive manner. I feel ashamed. And I can’t tell my parents, it’s such a pathetic and embarrassing story I know it’ll change how they feel about me. I don’t even know why I liked him in the first place. I can’t tell my friends because we are all in the same friend group. I can’t go on reddit because he might see it. All I have to vent is Moodpath and lolcow. And it’s pathetic. I
What’s even more pathetic is that I’ve never followed through with wanting to leave him and I’ve started to multiple times. Like more times than I can count.
So please be angry at me women of lolcow. Because I fucking am. I’m sick of the me I let myself turn into and I hate myself.
You're actually moving out though, good on you. It's a breath of fresh air that someone hasn't posted a rant about their irredeemable piece of shit bf with no intention of leaving him.
Anyway don't waste time hating yourself or feeling ashamed, you can move on now. You should be optimistic and excited for improving your life.
Complained about this in the thread before and I just need to rant some more. As dumb and edgy as this sounds living here feels like my soul has been raped. All this religion being pushed down my throat for so long has just made me bitter and jaded and empty. I have no friends, I cannot enjoy anything anymore that I used to, not even lazy things like Netflix. I feel like i all I am is a lonely angry mess and all I like to do is sleep to get away from everything. I wish I wasn't forced to live like this.I don't even think I love my parents anymore because all they've done is rip me away from any chance of being a normal human being and turn me into this bitter bitch I am now. I try so hard to function and I project a pretty put together persona somehow but I'm genuinely fucked inside. I might just run away because honestly anything is better than this. I don't think I've felt a proper emotion in 2 years and it's scaring me to think I might go on like this.
Sorry I am just very not ok and this is the only place I can shit it all out.
Good grief what an abuser. I like you anon, you're taking initiative with your life instead of trying to victimize yourself while letting this behavior continue to play out.
I just really want to assure you that this is more than just him being a shithead and you a doormat. Not that you need any more justification. This guy is a legit abuser and I'm surprised it hasn't escalated to hitting yet. He doesn't give a fuck about you.
Getting upset when you won't fuck him or show reluctance because he doesn't court you in any way. Name calling you after you've told him to stop and you didn't call him any names. Disrupting your recreational time that bleeds into your sleep time by forcing you to defend yourself and argue. Making you perform sexually when clearly no one would be in the mood after such a fight. Only caring about himself and narcissistically pretending he's on reality tv to dodge what you're saying rather than listening to what you're saying. Throwing objects in your direction. Recording him having sex with you behind your back and not telling until you're trapped in a lease with him.
Oh my god. Fucking RUN from this assrag.
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I just god diagnosed with bpd and depression and I don't feel like the bpd diagnosis fits. Especially with so many examples on this site.
I have trust and abandonmet issues but I'm far from impulsive, having extreme mood swings or seeing things in black or white, or self harming. Like from maybe 8 simptoms 3 apply. I wonder if I said something wrong and got misunderstood.
I just feel incredibly sick about the whole situation.
I'm really starting to hate my current job as well. I've been in the company for almost 4 years now in different positions and we recently had a change in management.
I am getting a lot of my access and permissions removed over time and instead of being able to do things myself I now have to request other people to do things and hope that they deliver.
It's a good company and i understand what they are trying to do but losing all the permissions and being in charge of both customers and internal staff is just making my position about customer management rather than being technical.
I'm getting into game development again and seeing if i could potentially make a living off making mobile games. I guess it gives me some drive as i actually feel like i have a direction i want to go rather than wondering around aimlessly trying to figure out what I want to do with my life.>>555785
I know that when i started to use the internet my dad gave a 20 minute explanation of what I should not do on the internet and reasons/examples of what has happened in the past to people who flaunted around their personal information. This was during a different time though when showing your face and name was considered risky business.
I guess all you can do is teach them what to expect and to identify the warning signs of when to disengage and block people.
I wouldn't worry about my kids spending a lot of time online if they were only playing games or watching shitty funny videos. I have seen so much shit online that as long as they aren't getting into pro mental illness communities and extremist shit I'll be relieved. lol
The only child I see a lot is my 12 year old cousin who is on the autistic spectrum. She's very childish and is only interested in dog videos on TikTok and playing games. But I was absolutely an edgy and curious pre-teen at her age. I was constantly looking at gore, pro-ana stuff…
About seven months ago, I rescued a nine month old kitten who happened to be the first cat I get to call my own. Took her in, had her spayed, chipped, the whole nine yards, and she’s been doing so great and I have absolutely fallen in love with her. Fast forward to a few weeks ago, she started vomiting every night. I took her to the emergency clinic and they did tests and everything. Turns out her white blood cells are elevated, and they’re running all these tests to find what she has, but I can’t shake the feeling that she has leukemia. I cry almost every hour I’m awake because, while I don’t want her to suffer and chemo is painful, I can’t imagine having to put her down… she has no clue what’s happening, and she would have no idea for what I would be doing and it kills me inside. I get calls everyday from the vet kind of narrowing down the results, and they keep getting worse… there’s the possibility that she has a very uncommon disorder, and while I want it to be that, it would just be too good to be true. What makes things worse is that my own sister was diagnosed with stage four cervical cancer last year, and I feel like everything that I love is being ripped away from me.
I think so too, she might be projecting her guilt for not following her religion properly onto me as well >>555571
My mother and father are nominally catholic, just my step-mother is Muslim in a mail-order-bride type situation which is fucked up, so she has like 0 right to dictate what I do on culture/religious terms
I'm just tired of people that base their political ideology on being against something. At least conservatives have an idea of what they want their country to be like and have plans to get there.
These people who identify as anti-leftists are just hateful and you can see them fall flat on their face the second they actually have to come up with policy.
I've decided to dub these people as nu-servatives. People that find themselves on the right not because they believe in any conservative values, but because they are against whatever far-left ideology they feel offended by.
I'm pretty proud that I didn't entirely enable my stepdad last night but getting dragged into his habit set me back a little bit. The scoop is that he was complaining about getting fat again cause he'd been eating out, not eating vegetables, and drinking soda. He never cooks at home and if he does it's garbage food like hotdogs and a bowl of cereal. Whereas I've been losing weight cause I never eat out and cook at home, and have a pretty good diet for it.
I had already made a tofu soup and was feeling content to just go to bed on that, but he wanted to go get food–fried chicken. While we were waiting in the drive thru I managed to talk him down into ordering a grilled chicken salad with me. But he said he "wanted something more." I was hoping they'd have roasted chicken bites but they didn't. So stepdad wound up ordering an 8 piece order of fried chicken tenders to split, plus a biscuit for each of us. I convinced him we shouldn't get soda so we didn't.
Not only did I eat the salad, but I added two chopped chicken tenders to it. Later I ate the other two tenders with the biscuit like a sandwich, and had a couple cups of a caloric drink to wash it down.
I know a salad and four chicken tenders and some two-bit biscuit doesn't sound like the epitome of diet destruction but I actually have a very low calorie budget and yeah I fucked up. While I wouldn't classify it as a binge it's still enough to halt my progress by a day. I'm peeved at my stepdad. He really doesn't try, and then he wonders why I have so many weight issues as an adult. He wouldn't even care that he was getting fat right now if he weren't dating and was still married to my mom. He was obese when he was with my mom. It's the only reason he lost weight as it is, he never cared about setting an example.
When I first started my diet I bemoaned how I was eating so much carry out food cause I was stress eating while I was at work and then ordering something for dinner to take home because I had no mental energy to cook. He replied "Yeah I remember, I didn't like seeing you do that and seeing the fast food in the trash." Lmao, BUT YOU EAT TAKEOUT SEVERAL TIMES A WEEK OLD MAN PLUS YOU NEVER VOICED ANY CONCERN BECAUSE YOU KNOW IF YOU DID I WOULD HAVE SAID YOU WERE A HYPOCRITE AND GOD FORBID YOU FEEL CRITICIZED!
Two weeks ago he wanted to go get fast food at a burger joint with me, so I enabled and indulged. I really fucked up and got a burger, fries, soda, tenders, and a shake. So did he. When I was done with mine I said "Damn that was good," and he remarked "Yeah…" in a disparaging and disappointed tone. Like I had binged but it was alllllllll my fault for having done so and he had noooooothing to do with the situation whatsoever. So anyway, I learned that I can't buy into his temptations because then he'll just turn around and blame me for it and have zero accountability for what he does.
>>555979>Many guys have even claimed that how nice I am is annoying.
Heh they're just trying to gaslight you and make your personality into an issue because they can't cope with their own shittiness.
I agree with you anon, there may be a diamond in the rough but most men are very nasty and deceptive. It doesn't seem worth it to get hurt by the multitudes in search of the one fabled nice guy.
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I hate being autistic. Everything is so overwhelming to me, sounds, colors, touch. I have to study micro expressions and body language on my own every day to improve, but when it actually comes to interacting with others, I can hardly tell what they are feeling based on their body language. My friends never get proper emotional support from me because I can't tell how they feel/what the f is going on, unless they explicitly tell me.
I also hate being associated with pedophilic autistic men. It sucks to know that we basically have the same brains.
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>be me, NEET, failed college
>I'm 26 and have no degree, only graduated high school, only experience is in retail, so I'm worth less than nothing on the job market
>after 3 years of depression, finally get therapy
>start college again, really enjoy the subject, actually did alright, passed three of my exams, did study groups, got invited to birthday parties from fellow students etc
>life is finally normal, maybe I can do this!
>global pandemic starts
>classes are cancelled
>most of our profs are too lazy and inept to do online classes, so they just dump some textbooks on us and say "lmao go learn this shit yourself :)"
>mfw no actual classes take place yet we have stil have to pass the same exams as usual
>I'm not dumb but I can't teach myself 3 entire classes worth of business and law all by myself with just a basic ass textbook
>I can't meet up with anyone, study groups mostly cancelled safe for some attempts online
>torn out of my daily habits, routine, structure, and in quarantine isolation
>fall back into depression, barely get out of bed anyway so I barely make an effort to study by myself or do study groups, can't focus on anything anyway
>my therapist quit and moved to a different city, and I can't get a new one right now thanks to pandemic restrictions, also health care won't cover any more therapy session and I'd need to shill out the 100+ bucks per session myself so right now there is no way to get professional treatment
>exams come closer, constant anxiety 24/7, but depression makes me unable to actually do anything
I did so well, I was finally gonna get a degree, I took all the steps to avoid another failure and now this fucking shit happened. I have 4 exams upcoming in the next two weeks and I have to pass them. If not, I get one more try, and if I fail one, I am thrown out and go back to being a NEET/low wage retail employee forever. And yet all I can do is lay in bed and cry like a pathetic brat. I just wish I could slap some sense into my stupid-ass brain.
it's a number game. just keep applying and something will come along.
there was a point where i had moved to a new city and was desperate to find any job at all so i could pay my rent. even with a college degree, relevant work experience, and some bougie academic experience, i had trouble finding a POS retail job immediately, so i wouldn't say your SOL cause of the face tat or anything like that. it can just be hard to get a job sometimes.
Lol like every other loser I got it thanks to my parents' connections.
Really though, aside from that, it shouldn't be too hard to get a retail job, or get a job as a waitress or something, having worked retail for several years we were always desperate to hire. Friends of mine also had little problems getting into retail despite being young and only having high school diplomas, but they all looked normal.
If you have a face tat (which, honestly, yeah. Not a good idea for conventional jobs, but I'm not judging), and in general look "alternative", well, my advice would be go and look for apporpriately alternative retail shit then. Something like Lush or Urban Outfitters or other "quirky" brands.
is right, keep applying.
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Thank you for your suggestion anon, I'll look into that! I wasn't aware there's occupational therapy for adults.
And yeah, I agree. My vent was actually partly inspired by my autistic coworker. He was reported a bunch of times to the HR because he made inappropriate comments (like rape/racist "jokes"). Of course, they only transferred him to my department and basically didn't punish him at all (because ~it's not his fault, he has asd~). Now I have to deal him, and it's been exhausting. He noticed that I have wallpaper with anime scenery on my laptop, and because of that, he decided to start weird conversation with me about hentai. He ended up ranting about "oppai loli" (basically drawings of prepubescent small children with huge breasts) for like 15 minutes. Wtf. It made me think that maybe I'm also perceived as weird/creepy by other people, and I also might be completely unaware of that, just like he is. Now I'm just second-guessing my every move. Maybe I shouldn't hug my coworker? Maybe I shouldn't cover my face when I'm laughing? Maybe I shouldn't sit in one position all day, maybe I should slouch to look more "normal"? Maybe my smile is scaring people off? Etc.>>556002
Awww, thank you for being so understanding anon. Your post really made me feel better. I'm sorry that you had to deal with perverted creeps.
I can barely stand 4chan anymore but I really can't stop going there.
I'm too terrified to go to 8chan and get put on a watchlist.
literally the only reason to go to "chan" imageboards is to discuss things.
And it's not because the discussions are actually better–no, it's purely the format of the websites.
It's so hard to find a decent discussion board that will let you reply to multiple people in the same post.
I'm barely on 4chan just because I finally got on both reddit and twitter, but the only reason I go back is because it gets so tiresome just having to reply to individual posts and ideas
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fuck fuck fuck
im so scared im going to fail this semester due to corona shit.
i needed to buy some materials and a new computer asap, but since i live in bumfuck nowhere outskirts of town everything takes like a month to get delivered, my teachers only asked for the materials a week before my finals and now im straight up panicking, i genuinely don't know what to do.
my teachers don't really understand the situation they are from the big city where my college is located, heck my 3d modelling teacher barely understood that my 7 year old household computer couldn't handle 3D Modelling and I had to beg for an extended time to turn in my work, he only gave me until monday and probably my new computer won't arrive until then.
Im calling the shop tomorrow to see if they can speed up the delivery but they haven't even sent me the invoice.
We need a specific kind of paper for my drawing class and basically, no shop has stock of it now, worse than that my parents worker just tested positive for covid and is in the hospital so none of them want to go shopping for fear of spreading the disease, neither do i.
I just want to cry, i have gone from star student to failing the semester because of this stupid fucking pandemic.
Worst of all, if i fail i will have to PAY for another semester, and thats alot of fucking money, i will basically have to sue the school due to not accomodating to the circumstances.
At times like this, I feel like the only thing you can do is get on social media and complain
You aren't actually being judged based on your skills or knowledge, you're being judged based on your resources
That's so unfair, I'm sorry you have to go through this
Im barely active on social media so I doubt anyone would care.
Our dean is also kinda shrugging every complaint off, one of my friends already had to drop out due to her not being flexible with the money situation, Im guessing I will have to go full on Karen and ask my mother to go scream at the Dean on the telephone.
I was never expected to have these things at hand since our campus is actually really good and I always had every resource there.
What boards do you use on 8chan?
I don't go to 4chan anymore and lately lolcow has been boring
Tech rental isn't common where I live, we mainly still use cybercafes if you need a computer, obviously i can't go to one right now, sighh.
Im unleashing the Karen Mom today at least.
I know you said your Dean is being dismissive about everyone's situation but I would suggest creating a papertrail via email to prove that you did reach out to the appropriate figures to try to resolve the issue. One narrative professors love when trying to defend a challenge on a failing grade is that you the student never reached out about it, that you blew it off, and you never tried to offer an alternative.
Your professor sounds like an asshole who can't inconvenience themselves by grading your project at a later date, otherwise I can't think of a single excuse why they couldn't make an exception for you given your circumstance. Fuck I even knew a stupid lazy bitch in my grad program who was allowed to graduate with us despite not being able to complete her thesis and defense until months afterward and yet they still gave her the degree. They can accommodate you anon, don't go down without a fight.