/ot/ - off-topic

I know it sucks but 100% this guy sounds like an insensitive prick. You have every right to be weary of a girl who sleeps with other peoples boyfriends hanging around yours and if he can't be understanding of that, there is something wrong with him.

His other behaviour is questionable too. I'm sorry but he's not sounding like someone you should be in a relationship with let alone depend on as a friend if he can't even have the simplest respect for you and your situation.

>>51728
I honestly feel like it too, I been constantly thinking about leaving him but when it came to that I broke down and felt so sad.

He use to be so sweet but ever since he'd been hanging out with his friends (everyday) he's been acting so strange.

>>51729
It'll be painful at first, anon and you'll regret it for a long time, but that's because you're lonely not because you feel it's a mistake.

It's best to end it now because your dependency will only get worse. Take this from a 30 year old anon. I had an ex who I always wanted to break up with, but when I finally did I regretted it for a long time. Time heals and I realized I was only dependent on him. It takes time for perspective so it's best to end something so unhealthy.

If he's acting strange and ignoring you it's because he's no longer interested. You have to cut ties.

>>51729
I was in the same situation as you and it just made me unhappy. I know it's hard but he really does sound like an insensitive asshole and you could do a lot better than him.

>>51731
Alrighty, I live with him. I don't have a job yet but my best friend plans on moving to my town with her girlfriend. I could probably plan on being their roommate once I find a job after the break.

He told me that he didn't want to break up with me and that he was just super cranky, but the way he's been treating me is really hurtful and I don't want to deal with that at all in my life.. My mom was telling me I should wait until my friend moves over to break it off too so I won't be homeless. (My mom lives in an Asian country so I cannot move back home)

>>51735
Men are lazy asses and would like to keep a girlfriend at home while they play around. I'm sure you're a nice girl and he wants to keep you, but you deserve better.

How long till she moves back?

>>51737
I believe around 5 months to a year. Which will give me plenty of time to find a job and raise money to move in with her.

I have no idea why he is this way, he wants to stay with me, I hope. But yeah, he started acting this way when his friends started inviting him to hang out more and more..

How long have you both been together?

How long have you wanted to break up with him for?

Is it impossible for you to move out, or find a different roommate for 5 months to a year?

Is it possible for you to maybe join an anime club at school/meetup.com or something?

Are there more fruitful things that you can push yourself to do/invest in for at least an hour a day?
What sorts of skills do you want to foster that don't require other people?

>>51735
>>51737
>Men are lazy asses and would like to keep a girlfriend at home while they play around

>Alrighty, I live with him. I don't have a job

one of this things is not like the other…

>>51802
We've been together for 2 years.
And only for a week I've been feeling like breaking up. I don't know anyone else who is very comfortable with me moving in but I could always try to find someone. I'm in a computer security club at my school though.

>>51834
I've been looking for a job since May. I've only had a few interviews but ahh, no luck. I'm still looking of course.

>>51834

>>51729
He's cheating. It's easier to see the whole perspective when you aren't in the relationship, but going out all the time with friends, especially hanging with some woman who sleeps with people already in relationships? I mean, come on. that's the massive red flag. Get out now.

>>51735
Get a job and get out. This is the start of an abusive relationship.

Yep. Please find a new place to live. Get a job and new friends.

At first its going to be really awful. Don't speak to him, don't text him or see him, no contact AT ALL for a good long while, if ever again. It's a lot like Withdrawing from a drug. Its not just emotionally crippling, it physically hurts too. You have to be strong. I've been through it before, I'm Ok. So, good luck to you.

>>51737
>Men are lazy asses and would like to keep a girlfriend at home while they play around
Dear god it's like a mirror of /r9k/ here. Grow up

I'm on the other end of this issue. One of my coworkers is a well known slut who has tried making advances on me, and my gf is pretty uncomfortable with me working with her. We talk about everything and she doesn't think I'd do anything, but it still makes her feel uncomfortable. I would be too if some guy was hitting on her at work I'll admit. I don't even talk to the girl outside of specifically work related things and if she ever tries flirting I just give her a blank stare to try to get her to leave

Anyway I have the chance to move to a different department where I'd be away from her for a slight reduction in pay which doesn't really bother me. We're only a few months in and this is my first gf, but is there any downside to doing switching just for her? I like my department and have a few people I get along with there, and the girl is just a minor annoyance.
>>51727
Honestly sounds like kind of a dick given what you're saying here. Especially with the whole grandma thing

>>52397
Sorry. #notallmen

>Grow up

Faggot.

THIS is the literal situation that is occurring when you ask a guy:

> "why don't you just break up?"
and he says
>"She won't let me."

He's going to either outright cheat on you or just string you along until you find out he's talking to someone else. All your doing is lengthening the amount of shit you both have to feel until it's 100% over. I'm sorry that this is happening at a bad time to you, but is there ever a good time to get dumped?

You won't even let him just be tired of you without you bothering him because you're a bored, jobless, friendless girlfriend who cries and says shit "she doesn't mean" when you don't get what you think you deserve.

>>51737
No. Men want to wife someone who can do things other than take their wallet, time, effort, and attention just to sit and look stupid in return.

>>52399
Why don't you just be direct with this girl and embarrass her next time she's obviously flirting? Especially if she knows you have a girlfriend, that's all you can do to make her cool it. But otherwise, your girlfriend is just going to have to deal with it. I wouldn't bend over backwards to avoid a minor person who you don't intend to fuck with anyway. Trust yourself, and if your gf can't trust you when you've done nothing to break it, then this coworker is going to be the start of a series of problems. You wouldn't be able to avoid other women all your life.

>>51728
You can't hold his friend's unfaithfulness against him. She clearly doesnt have enough faith in her boyfriend. To be honest he's right - they should break up. OP needs to be more comfortable by themselves first

This probably sounds like a really stupid and specific question. But I'm wondering how late is too much to wait for someone before moving on.

I met an amazing guy last year in 2014, and because of circumstances, we ended up traveling together and living together. We've had a lot of problems and drama, which I don't want to get into, but overall I'd say the relationship was very quality (which I'll get into later).

Anyways, we broke up earlier this year because he thought that we "didn't have a future together." Right now, he is really stressed about applying to graduate school (in a VERY specific field that is hard to find employment in) and I have at least two more years of college. Then after that idk what I'm doing or how I'm going to find work. idk if I'm planning on going to graduate school or what.

Still, I think he likes me still, at least for now. And there were so many things we had in common: similar interests, and more important similar values. I think we also had compatible lifestyles and for the most part could live together with no problems. He's a great travel partner, really attentive and sweet, etc. Pretty much everything you could want in a bf.

We did have a lot of problems, especially over the summer, but I think a lot of it was immaturity and specifically personal problems on my part. Since then I think I've developed a much more positive self image and positive coping skills.

I'm willing to wait but I think it's kind of futile because he has no problems finding a gf and I think he'll probably just find someone else as soon as he graduates and has more opportunities. idk, I feel like he would have no problems finding someone more intellectual, nicer, more alternative/artsy (while I'm pretty boring and normal, and I try to be "preppy"), and more stable. Also someone without a ton of huge baggage.

>>53720
Also I forgot to mention that we have a lot of problems sexually. He's very dominant and I'm not. I'm also not really that kinky either. I actually haven't had penetrative sex because I have vaginal problems, so I would give him really shitty bj's all the time. Sometimes I'd throw up. I'm now a 21 year old virgin.

His first gf was a lot older than him and a lot more experienced sexually. They'd have a lot of rough sex and even anal. I think the only reason I'm not insecure of her is because she's dead. There's no way I could live up to something like that.

Anyways, there are a ton of hot, intellectual, kinky hipster girls out there, so I'm not sure if I'm waiting for something pointless.

>>53720
>>53721
If he doesn't have any problems moving on I think you should focus on yourself and try to get to know more people.

You could also try to talk to him more if you really do think he still likes you and is willing to communicate.

Why do you think he still likes you?

>>53768
I think he still likes me for a lot of reasons. Like I was messaging him the other day about exams, and he said "Energy 100%", which was something I'd say a lot to him over the summer to keep him motivated. Then he also told me he had a dream about me. And a lot of times when I've tried to call him he uses a pretty cutesy voice.

idk if he really has problems moving on. Right now he is really busy and doesn't have a chance to meet many people since his college is so isolated. Apparently when he was dating me he said he didn't like anyone at his school, which I found hard to believe.

I'd like to see him one last time, maybe during graduation or something.

>>53721
>rough sex and anal
Sounds like this guy watches too much porn and found some girl to do what he wants. No guy into anal is worth dating. If you're the current girlfriend, he needs to realize you arent his ex and all this constant comparison leads to drama and problems. If you feel like it isn't working out and there is no chemistry, then just move on. You shouldn't put yourself down. Maybe this isnt the right person for you.

>>53895
I don't think he actually liked anal, but his gf offered. He never compared me to his ex.

Anyways I was casually chatting with him on FB, he sent me a cute sticker of someone going to bed. I hope he's not fucking with me.

It sort of frustrates me when I see girls that put up with intense feelings of jealousy, but don't blame their SO's. it's not your fault that you don't feel loved enough to be confident and trusting in your SO. your SO should be concerned if you're constantly feeling jealous. of course, there's a line if you're just being way too paranoid and end up policing your SO's life, but please don't cry about feeling jealous if you're 1) expecting your SO to read your mind 2) blaming yourself for being paranoid (probably justifiably so).
I'm just speaking from personal experience. for a myriad of fucked up reasons, I had a shit ton of paranoia and jealousy while I was just beginning to date my boyfriend. my paranoia got to a point where I would get daily nightmares of him cheating on me, and it affected my health and our relationship. of course every SO will get those intrusive feelings of "what if they leave me for X because Y?"–it honestly just shows that you care about them–but you have to be proactive if these thoughts are invading your life. I told my SO about the frequent nightmares of him cheating on me and all the unhealthy, self-destructive thoughts I was having, and he ramped his affection up to accommodate the relationship for me. I dunno what it takes for all girls to feel safer with their SO's, but for me I just needed deeper reassurance from him, and plenty of time to numb/heal the wounds. after a bit under a year of dating him, we've broken up once and gotten back together, but I feel like I trust him more than ever. we've gotten through some pretty bad shit but all it took was some honest communication and setting healthy boundaries to rebuild the relationship. the foundation really has to be there, though, don't let those jealous feelings stay and grow inside you–find out how you can get them to disappear. you gotta let people know when they're not treating you right. people can care about you but they don't know the exact perfect way to care for you. but also fuck people, make sure you can take care of yourself first so you have that to fall back on if your SO fails to take care of you
ok I'm just spitballing and I'm just another lonely only on the internet and I probably don't know any more about relationships than any of you fucks, but don't let yourself get emotionally cucked by invalidating your feelings

>>53895
For someone so against anal sex you have have a massive stick up your ass.

>>55596
Wow anon that was a vent. I hope you got it all out of you. Personally I believe that we should be responsible for our own emotions and issues in a relationship, it can be co-dependent or just destructive to rely on another for that support when you should really work on those things yourself (admittedly probably based upon my own personal bias of being a fucked up person who likes other fucked up people.) It sounds like you've done that so I congratulate you on your personal growth and wish you guys well. As rupaul says, “If you don't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?”

>>55635
Did I upset you, slut? Not every girl gets pressured into anal like you.

>>55666
Yeah, some actually like it and choose to do it themselves. You realise you're being just as misogynistic by denying that women are capable of having agency and making decisions for themselves, right?

>>55705
HAHA HOLY FUCK IS THIS POST REAL?

>>55707
People, including women, are into eating their own shit, fucking corpses and god knows what else. Why is someone liking anal so hard to believe? How tumblr do you have to be to think it's some kind of porn conspiracy perpetuated by men?

>>55708
Feminism has come far enough that I can enjoy having my ass plowed as an empowered woman. This is the kind of equality I strive for.

>>55708
To be fair women are a lot less fucked up in general. Not many women go to the ER because they stuck a light bulb up their ass for example. The same cannot be said for men.

>>55720
Are you a medical professional/can you confirm this? I'm sure most ER workers would see the craziest shit from both genders on the regular. Also your assumption that women are less sexually adventurous (or 'fucked up', idk how you want to define that) is retarded as hell and makes me think you're another r9k beta who hasn't seen a 3D girl in years.

>>55635
yeah it was definitely a vent post, sorry. I agree to an extent that people should be responsible for their own issues. I'm so sick of being surrounded by people (girls, guys, all gender-inclusive) let their lives get tugged along by some "significant other". sure, there's a significant other, but where is the other person in the relationship?
I still lay blame on people who are aware that their SO is suffering from something like jealousy, but don't try to do anything to dissuade that. even on a basic friend level that's kind of fucked up
anyway thumbs up on the buttstuff. I guess

>>55721
No, but I've heard a lot of tales from nurses and all of the victims were men. (I dropped out of nursing school myself) Articles about it also seem to be all men. I'll ask though.
I'm not saying women aren't sexually adventurous, but they're less retarded about it I guess. Sex is just lower on the importance scale for most women. "Thinking with the smaller head" probably applies to these sort of situations hah

>>55734
Nah it's all good, what's an anonymous forum for except for venting? I understand your point, relationships are very much about compromise and obviously being aware of the other person's needs, but I don't think you can blame somebody for not having the balls to control their own life? Like I get that it's a shitty situation but ultimately I don't think you can blame somebody else for your own insecurities.

>>55740
You're making a lot of generalizations, friend. I know about the infamous stuff that has been removed from peoples rectums but I don't believe that there aren't women with cucumbers firmly wedged in their colons as well. Maybe we're just better at getting away with it.

I am a man and I am terrified of my girlfriend discovering any of my weakness of vulnerabilities because I'm pretty sure they would turn her off. I was raised in a fairly masculine sort of household with uncles and male cousins etc.

Because of this I feel alone but I can't bring myself to do it.

I dont go to work or school and I dont trust dating sites. How do I get bf

>>56021
Go outside, Live a little, have some fun and try to meet people.

>>51727
>I don't really have any friends
I know I'm late but this stood out to me as your biggest issue here, anon. Your boyfriend may be an insensitive tool, but you need to make sure he's not the -only- person in your life who can provide you with emotional nourishment (especially in the case of his dumping you).

>>56021
But what about dating apps? Tinder actually works alright though, it's less awkwardly involved than OkC/eHarmony whatever. Best way to optimize your dating hunt.

>>55786
Not sure if troll. Anyone with basic functioning grasp of social conventions knows that
>women get off on knowing their manly partners' sensitivities

>>57197
>women get off on knowing their manly partners' sensitivities
This is a classic case of /r9k/ hammering in that every women who says this is a liar and the whole "women don't know what they want" shtick

Would it be creepy if i comissioned a picture of my two ex bfs cuddling for Valentine's day and showed it to them? They are bffs by the way

>>57362
yes

source: I'm a guy

>>57362

Go for it, cute af.

>>57435
>guy

You have no saying in matters of cute.

i'm in a long distance relationship with a boy several years younger than me, i really love him and i'm very happy but sometimes i feel like the cultural difence is too much, you see, sometimes he goes SJW like only someone from the US can do it and i always make fun of that so idk, i don't wanna stop, im very happy but i don't want to break this up because is the only relationship i've been confortable with.

This'll probably be a shit read but I'll sum it up as much as possible.
Guy says he likes me. I like him too. One of the most genuine and honest guys I've met so far.
Possibly autistic with definite anxiety and depression. I try and help out when I can and I'm willing obviously sharing the two latter issues. He's intelligent but a lot of what I say kinda goes over his head to the point where I end up frustrated. Plus we're a sea apart. Wat do?

>>59311
People on the autism scale often take longer to learn things. Constant repetition might work, but it also depends on if he tries as well.

Given the distance tho it doesn't sound worth it, unless there is a possible chance of meeting physically. That's how you know if he really is honest and genuine, since you can be anything on the internet.

>>59315
We're meeting pretty soon actually. This month or early next hopefully to see if we're truly compatible.
He does try quite a bit however so I can give him that, things just do tend to need explanation sometimes if he doesn't get it