/ot/ - off-topic

>Would you like to be pregnant?
Hell no.

Sorry if the thread is a bit of a mess with a bombardment of questions and maybe vague topic, but it would be so nice to discuss feelings on it because looking up viewpoints it can be so extreme. The people who seem to be not for pregnancy are vehemently against it. I‘m talking about the childfree community ofc, calling women who conceive "breeders" etc.

I used to have a phobia of pregnancy, and am still wary of being around heavily pregnant women. They just make me nervous, I worry about them falling on their stomach and stuff. In the abstract I always wanted a child, but looking at the hard reality of the process is nearly enough to put me off for life.

Right now my stance is "if it happens, it happens". Which I guess is a way of trying to deny the reality of the situation I would be in.

I mean there‘s the many physical drawbacks of actual pregnancy, feeling like your body isn‘t your own, other people not seeing your body as your own, the consequences afterwards, lack of sleep, money, autonomy.

Like, I have this inner drive and desire to have a child, my future child and raise it till it becomes its own person, but…it feels like it‘s not worth it at all, like it‘s the end of your life as you know it.

Like, what fact or thought tips you one way or the other in regards to having a child?

>>458046
I don't really fear pregnancy. I fear what comes after it - the childbirth and the raising of the child.

Seems horrible physically, great socially. I would definitely turn into a fat flabby mess who never loses the weight, and the only parts of my body I actually like and wouldn't change are my boobs and vag which are, conveniently, particularly affected by pregnancy and childbirth. But I still like how excited and happy it makes people, I will never let myself get pregnant because I don't want kids, but I imagine even I could get swept up in the anticipation and emotion surrounding pregnancies without really considering the eventual consequence of a human being.

I know this guy who hates mothers. To him, a girl cease to be a girl (and therefore, worthy of companionship) after she gets pregnant. After that, everything in her will change and he would part ways with the woman. While I get the "a pregnant woman will change her view of the world and behaviour", I can't get why the hate to the point he won't be friends with the person.
I don't talk to him anymore, I just feel too uncomfortable.

Anyways, I don't want to get pregnant, not right now. I always had a weird view of motherhood as I find the idea cute but when I think about me being a mother I kind of freak out and realize I don't see myself suited to be a mother and I don't think I will soon have the dedication required. My SO would like to have a kid, sooner or later, and I sincerely think he would make a great father.
Maybe it's just not "my time", yet. If my time will come (hopefully not too late), I will do my best to grow a little person with love and my best teachings. If my time won't come, at least I won't risk ruining someone else's life, lmao.

this thread doesn't go here, there's already one in /g/.

Pregnancy always felt like a huge freaky responsibility to me especially when you're due soon, which is the biggest drawback for me personally. I have a huge fear that I would end up with a miscarriage or child with birth defects due to not taking care of myself properly.
No cigarettes or drinking either for 9-10 months straight, which really sucks.

The hardships during pregnancy probably are nothing though compared to the actual process of raising a child. One of the biggest problems with kids is that they require so much time, which is not fun or welcoming when you're working a full-time 9 to 5 job. If it wasn't for that, I'm sure plenty of women including myself would be eager to become mothers.

I am childfree, not the type that scoffs at all parents and nor calls them "breeders" and such.

But pregnancy does freak me out. Having your body grow a human grosses me out to no end. Sending it calories and after the baby's born your body makes food.

Plus the irreversible changes in your mind and body; hormones making sure you love the baby, your vagina can tear, your ribs can shift etc.

I know it's one of the most mundane and natural things ever, but to me it sounds extremely unnatural to me.

>>458046
I don’t want a child,simply because I don’t think it’s for everyone.It’s socially expected to marry,give birth and dedicated your life to a child,but I don’t think people stop to understand that it’s not something you “have to do” in order to feel acomplished.I think you need to be a specific type of person in order to raise a happy child,and I don’t think that’s something anyone can do.

I think it is really weird how disconnected many of us are from our bodies and fertility. I hear women describing pregnancy with disgust like >>458069 with increasing frequency. Even my SO who wants to have kids is visibly disgusted by pregnant women and their bellies. I am not judging it because tbh I feel a bit like that myself. But why does it feel so unnatural to some of us? And will this change? I cannot imagine giving birth to a child if it freaks me out like that. And I doubt that the hormones taking care of this will kick in soon, I am almost 30 already.

>>458075
I don't think the frequency of women who find it uncomfortable is increasing, I think it's just more acceptable to talk about now.

We've moved past the time when women had to give birth to "play their part", all while pretending it was a blissful experience and they loved every minute of it. Women talk about their tears and their hair loss and their hormones more now, so more people are aware of the worst aspects.

I know a lot of women who hated pregnancy and childbirth but for them the prospect of a child outweighed the disturbing nine months. I think that's all it is, you have to decide whether you want to endure it.

I'm getting closer to 30 and I'm getting very broody now. I don't even want to think of the pregnancy process, I just want to start a family soon. I grew up in a unloving family unit and have always craved that going home feeling and seeking out your family when you're sad. It's all I want in life but due to things when I left highschool I'm only now finishing up a masters and still no job. I want to be responsible and have a good paying job before taking the time off to have a kid. I've also been on birth control over a decade so I want off it but I'm also in a committed relationship and don't want to give off the impression I'm going to get pregnant without talking about it.

I just want to start a family. Going through UG and now a masters Ive realised I'm not even enjoying it or like the work. I wish I just stayed working blue collar work as I was making above entry wage for the industry I'm now in and my bf states drunk one night the wage I'm on he would have been happy to start a family. Now I'm holding myself back from something I truly want in life to secure a job I don't give a fuck about. My bfs mother the other day was talking with me and she's retired early from the health industry and told me she just found joy in being a mother. She said people looked down on her for it but it made her happier to take care of her family. I like her attitude lol

The thought of me being pregnant is disgusting. I respect motherhood and the process of creating life for other women, but I personally just do not want that. The thought of having a big pregnant belly seems restrictive and cumbersome and giving birth sounds 100% worse. Imagining the possibility of literally having my vag ripped open is so painfully horrifying to me. It makes me physically cringe.
I like kids but I don't like the idea of raising one myself either. Babysitting a rowdy 2 year old for an afternoon is exhausting as it as, I don't want the responsibility of putting up with that shit 24/7. Yes I am selfish. I don't care. I can admit to myself that I'm not fit to have kids at this stage of my life. My mom was cold and unloving throughout my childhood. She tries to make up for it now but expressing warmth and affection is alien to me.

>How do you feel about society's expectations that your ultimate role is to get pregnant and have kids?
It's annoying af. Even when I was a kid I didn't want kids and older women would always say YoU'Ll cHaNGe yOuR MiNd. Still don't want to have kids. If I ever decide I'd like to be a parent I would rather adopt girls who need a home than ever get pregnant.

I have a very disturbing view about pregnancy, i find myself very grossed out and even kinda violent about it. Don't get me wrong, but i have a history of childhood trauma and both of my parents were very abusive, so i think that's why i hate seeing kids with their parents, you know, the happy ones (or pregnant women)
i know deep inside i'm just mad and jelly because when i see loving happy parents i remember my parents hated and abused me and i wish i had loving parents too
my boyfriend really wants a kid (and i'm sure he would be a very loving parent) but i already said there's no way in hell i would get pregnant and if i accidentaly got pregnant i would totally abort it, at first he was mad and disappointed but as time passed and he got to see my breakdowns he understood me
my grandma was bipolar and she mentally abused my mom and pretty much everyone around her, my mom is just like her and did the same to me, i too have problems and i know if i had a child i would make it miserable and would never be able to love
i can already see myself blaming it for ruining my life and my body and making it feel bad for being born, and even spanking it, just like my mom did to me
i may be crazy just like her but i will not make the same mistake she made bringing a life to this world just to treat it like shit