/ot/ - off-topic

I'm alone with you, anon. I have no friends or family at all and it's quite painful all the time. The only things that keep me living are my hobbies, daydreaming, nature, distracting myself with media, and a tiny thread of hope for the future that somehow my life will get better if I keep focusing on my goals and bettering myself and career.

Right now, my only source of interacting with people is via imageboards and my job. I'm not going to lie, every time I go outside and see a couple of friends together, I get really envious and depressed. Or when I'm doing certain things, I often end up thinking "this would be so much more fun with another person to share this moment with". It's really rare that people end up having literally zero friends or family so I feel like a mega freak for it and just fall into a pit of embarrassment and self loathing.
I feel perma stuck and constantly think about killing myself, trying to trick myself into believing the next life will be better than this for me and I won't be such an alien.

Also, experiencing depersonalization/derealization zombie hell nearly 24/7 because you're just that disconnected from society.

The only person I really have is my sister, but she's a wife and mom so me and her no longer connect on the level we used too, and we can't go out and do anything.
I occasionally hang out with people, but idk if I can call them friends at this point since I haven't talked to them in a while. I try to but I always feel like they don't care about me and it discourages me from trying to.keep in touch.
At this point I'm scared of close relationships and feel like nobody will ever really care about me like I care about them.
Sometimes I don't mind it because most of my hobbies are single person hobbies, but I'd like somebody to chat about my day with.

I dream of meeting new people, and developing close connections, but I don't think that'll ever happen

I roleplay ( or at least, I want to roleplay ) and don't restrict my imagination. If I want to envision myself exploring a haunted house with 5+ cute strangers then I'm going to do that, even if it's cringe.

Also I try to tell myself that a lack of human contact will NOT decide my future. I can still get a nice job without friends and such.

Question for those without family, how do you deal with the judgement of that? There are so many circumstances for which it can happen and it seems like a huge red flag. people will look down on you for it even if it's totally out of your control. It's hard when people avoid you for already being alone. It's like entry level jobs who need experience. How am I supposed to be around people when no one wants to be around me because I'm not around people already?

>>302848
From my past experience, if people really like you, your personality, and your attitude, they will want to talk to you regardless of whether you have family or not. I know it's hard to put on a positive face sometimes even if your in public but if others see you're sad/angry a lot or talking negative, people will avoid you like the plague. You still just have to smile and talk about normie shit with people, laugh a lot, have a good, fun vibe, make lighthearted jokes and you'll attract others.
You don't even need to let anyone know that you don't have family or friends in the first place and here you have two options; 1. Don't talk about it period (and if someone asks just say you don't want to talk about it, no hard feelings, they'll move onto a different topic right away trust me), 2. Lie and say your family lives in another city or state and you don't get to see them but you still keep in touch. It's pretty much a game of pretend like your life is as good and grateful as others' while keeping your actual non-family/friends situation a secret.

Wow, this thread came along right on time. I've been sitting here thinking about how I'm actually completely alone in the world and it's depressing. I lost what few friends I had at different times and under a variety of circumstances. I've ghosted my entire family recently because I realized that they were very toxic people. So, now, I've just ended up without anyone in my life. No human interaction at all. I really don't know what to do. I like the solitude sometimes, but sometimes I cry because I'm lonely and miss having a connection with someone. Or, fuck, I at least miss when I loved my mom. I wish making friends were as easy as when you're a kid.

I'm not -totally- alone, but spend most of my time by myself and wishing I had closer friends. I'm a pretty socially awkward person and struggle to make connections with new people, but this youtube channel has helped me a lot with that. Maybe it can be useful for some of you guys too. Wishing everyone the best

I’m 23 and haven’t had a best friend since middle school or any friends at all in the last few years. Completely due to social anxiety and I just assume everyone I meet hates me. I wish I could be friends with all the anons ITT.

>>303356
Aw, have you posted in the friend finder? Virtual friends are better than no friends.

I don't know if this counts, but the only friend I have is my fiance. I disowned my family (long story some really fucked up shit happened) and haven't seen them in 10 years. I haven't been able to really make friends, and even when I do the end up moving away. Plus most of them already have best friends, or have really close relationships with their mom/sisters so I just feel really awkward cause I don't really understand familial connections.

I recently made friends-ish with someone I met here, but she is absurdly flaky and kind of shitty so I don't know what to do. I know it's probably no big deal but I feel like she feels our friendship is totally not important.

I'm not alone anymore but for a period of time I was. I didn't really care about how I looked and was overall ugly and awkward in the way I presented myself. I wore unfashionable clothing, didn't wear makeup, and talked too much about my weeby hobbies etc.
Looking back, I can kind of understand why I only had one friend who eventually ditched my ass. She was a normal looking, not socially inept, person. I was the opposite of her.

Eventually, after 2 years of being alone, I got myself a cute art hoe wardrobe, stopped mentioning my weeby hobbies, got good at makeup and went to the salon to fix my hair and brows regularly. I guess I had a "glow up" and today I have plenty of friends. Also, normie friends aren't as bad as you'd think, you just have to show them that you're not too weird and when you're friends they'll gladly listen to your weeb shit.

That's why I wonder anons, do you currently look and act how I used to? Cause if you are, it's definitely something fixable so don't lose hope.

>>303434
Uh no. Stop projecting your ugliness onto people itt. Most people who ended up in this position had real life issues that were out of their control not just
>lol im an ugly weeb with soshul anxiety and cant hang with da normiez xD
By the way, I made more friends and met more people talking about the geeky shit I was into than when I didn't talk about it at all to anyone. Normal people are into geeky shit too. It's not black and white normies vs internet autismos. Your advice is unwarranted and really shitty so speak for yourself.

>>303434
cringe you sound like an ugly boring teenager whos obsessed with your appearance in order to mask your own self. i bet all your relationships are superficial af. even ugly people have friends so your whole post is just an off-topic embarrassing blog that has nothing to do with this entire thread lmao

>>303434
Love yourself anon. I mean, Christ, if you are so focused on your looks and approval from others, no wonder you had trouble keeping real friends. People are generally attracted to authenticity.

Has anyone here ever ghosted themselves from nearly everyone because you feel like you are the "toxic" one? I used to have lots of friends but a couple years ago I had a mental breakdown, paranoia, was in the hospital for a short time. Shortly after, I deleted all my social media and now rarely communicate with anyone except my boyfriend and occasionally my immediate family. I enjoy my solitude but sometimes wonder what all those people think of me now, if I ever do cross their mind. (hopefully not)

Honestly, sometimes I wish I could just erase the memory of me from everyone except a few ppl of my choosing.

Bringing this dead thread to life.

This never really bothered me before, because I feel like back when I dated my ex I had a decent group of people through mutuals that i saw every so often that I wasn’t really ‘alone’. Then we broke up, I moved, and had this Tinder phase where I kind of lived my social needs through ‘dates’ with guys. Then I met my husband and we were so busy going out, traveling, and doing all of these things that I was perfectly happy to have a bubble with just him and my family. I actually have a lot of close family that I treat as friends (cousins) but since I moved to my husband’s country, its just me and him. I had a few people I talked with and hung out with but literally every single one of them just felt too toxic and were all “wahh wahh help me, but I’ll never show support back to you” to me (and to he fair, one was legit crazy “help me stalk my ex bf” kind of type”) so I just ghosted and blocked them all.

I got married a month ago and my husband’s family really wants us to have a ceremony but….i have absolutely no one to even invite, because my family will probably be too busy and it costs a lot to fly here… not to mention hotels. Even my MIL comments on how I have basically no friends here. It used to be so easy to meet locals when I was uni aged because it was appealing to go out, drink, karaoke, eat good food…but absolutely none of that appeals to me. And a lot of expats are here short term and the ones that are married are either old or have kids so I feel like they wouldn’t want to relate with me. Either that or they are in their late twenties still trying to go out and club every weekend. Honestly I’m just hoping that having kids in the next few years will fix this, because i will be open to bigger communities of people.

Wow this is the thread I’ve needed.
I lost basically all my friends because I decided to stop drinking, after years of being an awful alcoholic. I had to cut ties with the alcoholics in my family too because being around them is far too triggering and I simply can’t relapse. I get all my socializing from my husband, occasionally my mom and sisters (all school age) when I visit them. I’m basically a shut in NEET, I’ve heavily invested in my hobbies and stay at home 95% of the time. I’m guilty of being a weeb too.. But at the very least, I maintain my appearance well and when my husband wants me to come with him to see his friends, I’m actually kind of funny and sociable despite the fact that I have bad social anxiety.

I genuinely don’t have an issue with my lifestyle though. Sometimes I wish I was more “normal” and had real friends and enjoyed going out, but it’s so much better not pushing myself to be something I’m not. A lot of my family is like this too, so maybe it’s genetic tbh. I’m just really glad I married someone who’s understanding and loves me for me.

Not only am I a neet currently (have had jobs in the past but not right now) but I have no friends or boyfriend. I seriously am so bad at managing relationships/friendships that they all end pretty shortly. I just don't know how to manage friendships and keep them alive, I feel so weird being around people too and have immense trouble relating to people. Its also hard because I have pretty much nothing in common with anyone. I know I'll die alone.

>>481156

Anon, I've had the same problem you did until I embraced my independence. Don't force yourself to be someone you're not. Not everyone needs constant companionship and friends, no matter what society tells you. I know I don't, and it took me a while to accept that about myself and just be happy with who I am. I'm not a bubbly, gregarious person, I'll never be that girl who feels comfortable with others, and I've stopped caring.

I've gotten shit on for it by people (including family) because I'm not an extrovert, but who gives a fuck? I haven't had an easy life and I feel like I have a right to my own space.

It's your life anon, own it, embrace it, and enjoy the wonders of being free from all the bullshit that being hugged up with other people creates. It's not worth it anon, I'm much happier not having a ton of friends causing drama in my life, lovers holding me back, people in my way on me accomplishing my goals. Find people who really, really, really love you for who you are and don't just accumulate losers to make yourself feel better. It's better to have one good friend who you love than ten idiots that wouldn't care if you dropped dead tomorrow.

>>302821
This, actually. Online RP and writing/drawing different scenarios that I could never experience IRL have unironically been the biggest cope, even if it seems like cringe.

>>481217
Anon I challenge you to start collecting snippets of your writing and turning them into short stories to share online. Don't hold out hope of writing a complete novel, just produce finished short stories even if they're bad. Use pseudonyms if that helps.
After a while if you wanted to be social could start going to relevant book or writing events, but if not then it's ok because society respects the idea of a lonely writer more than a lonely videogame nerd.

>>481173
Your post made me want to run a small farm in an isolated village

>>481226

>Your post made me want to run a small farm in an isolated village

Lol, apologies anon. It's funny you say that because my idea of a perfect life would be to retire young after making a butt ton of money, buy a nice house in some European country away from the remnants of my retarded family, and have a peaceful life surrounded by people that I chose to love, traveling and shopping and just making peace with life.

This is all coming from a world weary farmer who has had enough bullshit happen to her all in a short span of time to last her a lifetime. I'm over people, the constant drama of trying to maintain shitty friendships, dealing with falling-outs, and trying to find your place in a confusing world. I've made the mistake of being friends with people out of loneliness, it sucks. I've tried being someone I'm not to get jobs or "fit in", utter waste of time. Love yourselves first, sisters, because this world, as beautiful as it is, will eat you alive and spit you out and not care one bit. I sound like my retarded religious relatives when I say this, but seriously, there's nothing new under the sun. If you were reborn a thousand times, you would see that nothing ever changes. Same bullshit, different packaging.