/ot/ - off-topic

Why are you even with them then?

Just break up with them for your sake and theirs, smh.

you're likely the only idiot on the site that feels this way, OP. most of us have self-respect.

>>299983
Wew you really think this is normal enough to warrant a thread? Get therapy, and consider a divorce. Hopefully your husband gets out unscathed because he probably deserves better than someone who ‘low key hates him’.

Wtf just break up

Sorry OP, shitty relationship like yours are not the norm.

everyone already said my initial reaction so i'll just say this:
love is not enough. there's a lot more that goes into a worthwhile relationship than just loves and if you love each other but everything else is shit, you're not right for each other.

OP is crazy. Your husband had better be one of the best friends you ever had before you even think about getting married. That helps smooth over the rough spots that will invariably show themselves over time. Sadly, a huge chunk of people don’t understand this and are doomed to die alone. Sucks to be you.

I loved my gf but hated her emotional issues. Broke up with her like any rational human being bc it was for the best for both of us

Every couple should go on a long holiday abroad and live together for at least a year before getting married. A friend of mine also suggested going to a theme park because there's a lot of stress, screaming kids and waiting in queues. If you can't do any of those things and still absolutely love the person, don't marry them.

>>303029
Lmao, i think living together is way more stressful than a stupid theme park.

My fiance and I have lived together for 2 years now, and going to a theme park would be a breeze.

>>303029
One of the tipping points that led to me ending a 4 year relationship was going on an international trip together. It's then I knew my ex would be a stingy, inconsiderate, ungrateful individual no matter where we were in the world; even when removed from the stresses of work and everyday life. We'd lived together since the beginning, but the last year had been particularly bad since I was trying to get ahead in life as someone nearing 30. Meanwhile he was stuck in his college dropout bachelor mentality, and had an unwillingness to get a meaningful job among other things that resulted in constant financial strain and frustration between us. He dragged me down and stressed me out, even if we "got along" due to my permissiveness and our avoidance of wanting to argue, I started to resent him as I think he did me because I made demands of him.
That's when I called it quits.

That said: Little day and weekend trips to theme parks were fine for us, especially if we went with friends. I don't feel like a relationship is really "tested" enough with a weekend or one day romp. Maybe some relationships would be tested by that but I'm not so sure.

Am I the only person who understands OP?
I've always felt bad about this, then saw the thread and felt like "finally, someone else!" but then read the replies and….well, fuck me.

I love and hate this guy and it's extremely difficult to explain. We function well together, he loves me, but the same time I have this secret resentment for him. I want him to be in love with me and only me forever and I see myself marrying him but I also want to hurt him. He's the only person I've ever felt this way about. I've been in relationships before and with those guys it was always chill and fine until I got bored a year or two later and broke up with them. It's been over 2 years with this one and I don't see myself ever breaking up with him, but he's also the only one I've ever been in heated arguments with, to the point where I felt crazy sometimes.


Yes, I'm aware this is fucked up, I'm aware I need therapy. This is pretty much a vent.

>>303044
yes you are. this is like 1950s level of stupidity.

>>303044
>I need therapy
Just you? What if your resentment is valid and it's difficult to express what you feel in a healthy way, or that your partner is indeed the problem? No wonder you feel crazy. Your feelings matter and so does your gut instinct telling you there's something very wrong.

I don't see your relationship working unless you do a couple's counselling or something. But why even bother with that if you've only dated for three years and don't have any kids or other obligations that would make a split more complicated–heaven forbid.
No offense, but it sounds like you would get married to this guy but divorce down the line when you realize the problems just get more difficult and numerous.

I tried to save my relationship too anon, so I know where you're coming from. It's just illogical to stay in a relationship where unhappiness and anger are literally stalking you at every turn.

>>299983
ITT couples who aren’t suited to being couples.

If you hate your partner, you don’t love them.

>>303047
If you consistently resent and want to hurt someone, you sure as fuck don't love them enough to marry them (or stay married if you made the mistake of staying with them). I think it's normal to feel negatively once in awhile, no one's relationship is so perfect that you dont occasionally get mad or even feel like you hate them, but that should not be the norm.

My partner and I have had A LOT of ups and downs in our relationship, both of us have been at fault for bad times, but I have never resented him or hated him. If anything it made me love for him stronger.

I know a lot of people think couples therapy is the beginning of the end for a relationship, but it really helped mine. We communicate so much better than we used to which makes navigating the rough times a lot easier.

How can people deal with this? You guys must have low self-esteem.