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File: 1532103957361.jpg (17.1 KB, 526x335, fupa.jpg)

No. 269962

Last Thread >>259082

Post your feelings, current struggles or whatever what you want to get off of your chest down below, as well as give advice to others

No. 269963

>tfw ywn get to pat that fat dog's belly

No. 269970

File: 1532105923339.jpg (114.21 KB, 875x550, cookin.jpg)

I don't feel things anymore, and never feel like doing anything either
I guess last year I got over stressed with school work, and went into a permanent state of not caring anymore, but it has stuck. I've barely drawn anything this year, even though I want to draw, because I can't think of any ideas, I hate my work or can't bring myself to do anything. This is pretty much the same with watching anime (haven't watched any since 2016, used to watch about 20 new shows per season) and learning Japanese too, 2 things I was hugely passionate before.
Not doing exercise is making me feel more useless, but it just get's too hot for me to run outside for 40 minutes, so maybe that's just summer feels
I really wish I could enjoy things again, especially my hobbies, as all I do all day is my job and spend all my time at home on the computer now. I can't even feel anger or be upset about my current state, as I just genuinely don't care (even though I want to care). I'm not me anymore, and I just feel trapped. The only thing that keeps me going is kpop sadly, as it gives something to look forward to every week

Is there something wrong with me? I want quits, I understand why people kill themselves now

No. 269972

>>269970
I'm sorry anon, did something happen to make you feel this way?
Maybe it could be depression, it sounds like it.

No. 269980

>>269972
Thanks,, I was over run with school work last year, and when I get put in a state of such high stress, I can't bring myself to work. I ended up coming to the conclusion that there is no point getting stressed, so I managed to stop caring about things, but this just made me still not work, but meant that I wouldn't get upset at teachers being angry at me.
It could be a mental illness, I watched Stef Sanjati's latest video and related to it completely, which made me think I might not be alone. I haven't really considered that I could be mentally ill before that though, I just thought that I'm a dumbass and is slowly becoming a family disappointment

No. 269983

>>269980
>>269970
Are you me?
I'm super stressed from college, but can't bring myself to look at a book and work keeps piling on.
I haven't drawn anything this year or studied Japanese or my other languages as much as I'd like to.

There are so many thing I want to do but don't.
I feel like my family and friends are getting frustrated with me too

No. 269997

File: 1532115789692.gif (269.39 KB, 500x281, tumblr_static_tumblr_static_3g…)

Why do i always manage to fuck everything good that happens to me.
I wish i could just disappear or stop being scared and just kill myself, at this point i'm sure it would be better for everyone.

No. 270008

nintendo switchs battery life is a stupid bitch

No. 270012

I went on a date last night with a guy I really like. Like, I've not liked someone this intensely in years.

I haven't told my closest friend yet, as she said she couldn't let me date him while I'm in my current situation. Basically I'm living with a fwb who has feelings for me. He doesn't know I've been dating this guy either.

I just feel like I've been lost in a sea of lies by omission recently, and now I can't get out. How am I supposed to hide a relationship (if it transforms into that, which I hope it will).
I can't come clean or I could lose my living situation for the moment.
I just feel lost

No. 270023

>crush on cashier
>get the guts to ask his name
>he's quiet and I have bad hearing
>had to ask twice
>still didn't hear properly
>he's foreign so I'm not even familiar enough to guess what his name is

I fucked up something so simple.
He seemed eager to reciprocate though, so I may just bite the bullet and ask him out next time. Nothing 2 lose.

No. 270031

>>269962
I think I might be becoming racist and I don`t like it.
I've had bad experiences with black people, specially women and gay men, one of them in high school ala Mean Girls, in my country and they always come across as super rude and self involved, the mixed people are ok though they are the majority here, me included.
In this last week I've had two encounters with rude black women, one when I asked her politely if I was at the right bus stop for the bus I needed to take and she looked at me like I was a crazy person to dare to speak to her, and another in the subway, I got up because my stop was the next and asked her like 4 times "sorry, can I pass?" Because she was in the middle of the way playing candy crush. She never acknowledge my presence, kept looking at her cellphone and when I figured "well I'll just have to pass even if I need to push her a little" she acted all rushy and got off at the same stop. The fuck? She wasn't deaf btw, she had her ear plugs on, she just decided to ignore the hell of me when a simple "I'm also getting off" would have been enough.
I just hate how this brings me flashbacks of the time I lurked 4chan and a lot of racist slurs come flooding in my head, even though I'd never say something like this to anyone irl.
I just don't know, as I said the mixed people where I live act very normal, most, but the back people, specially the ones that live in black only communities and only have black family, are so nasty and never, never, smile.
I wish I didn't have these thoughts but damn, it wouldn't be asking for much for black people in my city to try to be a little bit more likable.

No. 270038

>>270023
If you do ask him out you should find a funny way to tell him about how you didn't get his name.

No. 270055

>>270038
"I was so distracted by your cute face that I didn't actually catch your name"
Alternatively it could be a blessing that he's foreign since I could just ask for accurate spelling. That's probably what I'll end up doing.

No. 270071

I got PC parts from my friend across the country. Which was unexpected and nice of him to do. Only problem is the fan that he sent with the heatsink, the plastic that holds it to the heatsink are broken. I can't afford to replace the fan and I'm having a panic attack. I don't know why I thought I could build my own PC. The worse part is my mom spent her money to get me a new case and psu because the stuff my friend sent is good but my old tower is too small for it. I just really want to get the fan mounted to the heatsink and I dunno what to do.

No. 270073

>>269997
don't kill yourself. shit sucks but you'll be okay eventually.

No. 270074

>>269997
>>270073
You will be fine Anon. Shit does indeed suck and it will be fine eventually. Better for everyone? Fuck them. Live your best life and who gives a fuck what they think.

No. 270075

>>269997
Also I love that image you chose for your post.

No. 270082

welp, just finished crying about how my life sucks and I'm still sad. I feel so empty inside rn and no one irl understands it. I'm either told I'm being dramatic or that I need to just get over it but it feels like I can't even go on.. everyday it just gets worse and I feel like I'm going insane. I want to kill myself everyday. I wish I just wouldn't wake up one day tbh

No. 270093

>>270031
I hate when internet race bullshit gets stuck in my head like that. I saw a thread on twitter recently that was a bunch of nonwhite people (mainly black people) shitting on white families because some families in the US wear shoes indoors (mainly white families). Every time I go to a white family member's house now (I'm mixed) and wear my shoes inside I remember the mean things people said in that thread (like saying that white peoples' houses all must have disgusting floors and smell terrible even though my extended family's houses are all way cleaner/nicer-smelling than my parents', etc). It's frustrating. Also every time I see a white woman with a mixed kid at the store I think of that fucking Amerimutt/56% meme. I never thought about shit like that before I used 4chan.

No. 270106

>>270093
dude are you me? i'm mixed as well and dealing with exactly the thing (especially that amerimutt meme, holy shit). when i was younger i literally never thought about race unless someone asked me about my background. i wasn't oblivious to the world around me, i just never thought about race unless someone dropped it on the table in front of me. but ever since sjw's and /pol/tards took over the internet i'm constantly thinking about racial and cultural shit.

as a personal example, my boyfriend is white and all of his friends also have nonwhite girlfriends (of varying ethnicities). we were at a party a few weeks ago and when someone jokingly brought that up, i immediately thought of that crudely drawn flag-bearer meme of all the non-western women and at the very end is a stereotypical sjw white girl. yikes dude.

No. 270119

I used to believe men watched porn because it got them off to see people having sex (that's how it is for me, a voyeuristic pleasure), but then I realized they're actually picturing themselves fucking the woman on screen! I was so shocked. I guess it explains why they dgaf about them looking like they're in pain or not enjoying themselves at all because they probably have no idea what real pleasure look like since so many men are shit lovers.

I kinda understand why many women don't like their partner watching porn in those condition, especially the one that have big collection of one particular girl…

No. 270148

I used to be so bad at school I thought I’d never have to go back (not missing the daily panic attacks!) but I soon realized that even getting retail jobs with no degree was difficult and I fucking hated retail. Not suitable for me. But now I’m getting a degree in business, like, the degree you get if you want permanent retail work.
I’m happy I get to do something with my life because sitting at home depressed 24/7 is no way to live but I don’t want to work in retail ever again. I just thought it would be easy because I’m stupid as hell and stocking shelves is the only thing I know to do.
But if I don’t go to school I’m never gonna have a future worth living for and for some crazy reason I don’t feel like dying so much anymore. I’ve always had mental health issues and I’m afraid I’m gonna end up sabotaging everything once again for some lame selfish reasons.
Maybe I finally should grow the fuck up.
Getting through this alive is gonna make me a better person in the end or something.

No. 270164

Youtube keeps recommending videos to me where gaming-related channels are critisizing the makers behind The Last of Us 2 for having two girls kiss in their trailer, complaining how they are pandering to SJWs and the like.

I'm sick of all the SJW pandering too, but it's like none of these gaming nerds even played the DLC for the first game where it's clearly revealed that the main character is gay. It's like no matter what you do these days, you're going to piss off either side of the coin.

Why are you doing this to me, youtube. All I want is to see watch some cool trailers of games I want to play.

(Not to mention neckbeards in the comments complaining that the character didn't grow up to be fuckable)

No. 270169

>>270106
I'm "glad" I'm not alone in this, it's like an invasive thought or some shit.
I'm half-white myself and also generally into brown guys, but every once in a while /pol/-tier racial slurs will just pop into my head either in regards to them or myself. I hate it.

No. 270174

File: 1532182380754.jpg (18.86 KB, 200x200, b9deeeacd849092d717f522f5145f2…)

I talked with my gramps yesterday since a while and we got a very depressing.

My brother went to jail because he was selling weed (it's illegal were I live) in the streets this years and my family got so desperate that my dad and mom asked people for money, and the one who helped the most was my gramps. I personally didn't approved this, since he screwed up way too hard in those years. My family was already angry with him since he basically forced my family to accept that his gf should live with us, and the worst shit is that she doesn't pay anything: she lives and eats for free and it causes us a lot of economical problems, but my brother still justifies that, making my father upset. Unfortunately I live alone with my brother so I can't do shit. I barely get money with my actual work. I can't live alone by my own.

It's not like my family has a lot of money. In fact, we don't, but this situation got us in more economical problems: my uncle doesn't have enough money for his health (he is pretty much disabled at this point), gramps' house is having some problems, sometimes they struggle to eat, etc.

And what my brother keeps doing? smoking weed and probably consumes other drugs like LSD and more (which was confirmed by his gf). He still also goes out with his shitty friends that pretty much made him go to jail.

I told all the truth to my gramps because I'm feeling like shit and he needs to know our real family situation. He felt like shit, but remained strong until the end.

This confirms a lot of things:

1. My gramps feels shamed about my dad. He is the only one without succesful kids.

2. My gramps hates my older brother.

3. He actually respects me a lot, and believes I'm the only sane person in my family.

4. It's upset with my mom and dad because they gave my brother waaaay to much freedom that he doesn't deserves.

5. He is also upset with them because they butchered my dreams to study in college because they need to focus in "his oldest son" instead of their daughter… Even considering that I was having very good grades.

6. My brother is forbidden of going to our family reunions. He hates my brother so much now that he strongly believes he is not worth it. He basically said he isn't a part of our family anymore.

Right now I'm having mixed feelings about this, and it makes me incredibly sad that my nearly 80 years old grandfather is feeling depressed due of my irresponsible brother.

I miss the old days…

No. 270192

I wish this deaf woman who comes in would bring a piece of paper with her for what she wants
She always points and grunts and it's so difficult to tell what she wants especially because my job has so many food options all right next to each other
I have other deaf people who give me papers and it's quick and easy for them
I just wish she'd make the process a little easier

No. 270197

Every time someone talks to me I shut off completely and can’t think of anything else than some cold one word answers. I’ve worked retail for years, been in therapy (both regular and groups) and have pretty successful small talk with my social worker but for some reason I can’t talk to regular people in normal every day settings. How fucking autistic am I?

No. 270269

Got two bumps on my upper and lower lid. They're not that obvious but it's red and hurts. The warm towel isn't really helping but here's to hoping.
My right eye corner and a third of the eyelid have been slightly swollen, red, raw with cracks and flaky skin for years noe. But the doctor keeps saying she "can't see anything".

Going to try again next weekend since I can't switch doctors and can't pay for a private visit. Yey, I want to die. Already switched makeup brands few times, got new brushes sponges and everything and it didn't help… I just want to wear fucking makeup

No. 270331

>>270164
>(Not to mention neckbeards in the comments complaining that the character didn't grow up to be fuckable)
this pisses me off so much. The other stuff – people complaining about pandering, a "hidden agenda", unrealistic strength in female characters, etc. – I can live with. But people literally just complaining about a woman being plain piss me off. Like I usually say "lol neckbeard go outside" as a meme but literally they need to go outside, newsflash many/most women are as plain and uninteresting-looking as the fucking boring-looking male protagonists we get for most games.

No. 270335

File: 1532197658077.gif (1.62 MB, 498x367, 1513827447866.gif)

I'm going to a concert with a couple friends and I feel bad for not being excited.
All I can think about is how I'm "wasting" the last night of my weekend off before going back to work. It's not that I actually view the time spent as a waste, it's because my job forces me to interact hyper socially to a range of cunty customers nonstop so any time not around people is my recharge time. It's the down time that I feel is passing me by. I'll come home with anxiety and dread knowing my shitty job is mere hours away.

Secondly, the concert is outside in summer heat. The sun isn't out where I live but it's still muggy as hell. One friend going wanted to wear gothic lolita and just…no. It's too hot for that shit and I wouldn't even want to wear dresses like that even if it were an indoor venue.
I'm not saying I'm for looking like a festival thot, but I'd prefer to wear something that I'm okay with sweating in and getting dirty. Other people are dirty. Concerts are so fucking dirty. I don't like wearing anything nice that I would feel bad about getting destroyed.

No. 270339

>>270164
Neckbeards who complain about the sequel trailer fucking disgust me.
Even if they didn't play the DLC, one of the last chapters towards the end of the game set it up so she's pretty fucking traumatized when it comes to men.

No coincidence that I haven't seen any women complain about that reveal. Men get assblasted about fictional lesbians in apocalypse universes, probably because they feel like they're especially owed the pussy. Surely complaining about "snowflakes" is just to cover their deep sexual frustration.

No. 270343

I’m getting tired of the “Europeans rule and Americans drool” mindset on lolcow. Believe me, there are A LOT wrong with America and it’s culture, especially at the moment but acting like Europe’s shit doesn’t stink is hilarious. A while ago I saw a post on here basically saying that American men are misogynistic and that problem doesn’t exist in Europe. Again, as an American, I can confirm that we do in fact have a lot of gross dudes who treat women like objects but to act like there aren’t men in Europe who do the same us hilarious. When I was in France as a teenager, there were a bunch of men who would randomly come up to me and the girls who were in my tour group and be very innapropriate with us. And I have heard horrors stories on how men in Italy can be gross with women. Again, I’m not trying to stereotype here. Basically, what I’m trying to say is that America is a big place. Some of us are unlikable dumbasses but some of us aren’t. Same with Europe (and I know Europe isn’t that comparable with the U.S because it contains several countries, each with its unique cultures).

No. 270348

>>270343
I thought those types of posts were just ironic shitposting.

No. 270357

>>270343
Yeah I've noticed this mindset too. European men are extremely creepy; they're way more bold and open about their perversions than American men are in my experience.

Also the some of the complaints the Europoors have about America makes me think they get their cultural knowledge of the US from watching Disney Channel movies. I remember an anon who was going on about how American kids are so spoiled and wasteful because they love having food fights, as if that's a totally normal and common thing in Elementary schools. If you're going to complain about a culture at least make sure your complaints are accurate, jfc

No. 270374

File: 1532203218748.png (187.99 KB, 500x651, C92E85DA-6CD0-4424-9C08-55C1A5…)

I hate being an aspie. I can’t think of any recent social interaction that doesn’t make me wince. Like today I went downstairs to get breakfast and my parents (who i have basically no relationship with) just stared at me while i crossed the hallway and it made me so uncomfortable that i just went back upstairs to my room and waited 5 minutes to try go into the kitchen again so i knew id be alone and wouldn’t be forced to socially interact with them. I feel like everytime i leave my room or just the house in general i feel uncomfortable because i dont know how to be fucking normal

No. 270382

My boyfriend wants me to communicate with him what's bothering me but when I do, he gets mad and there's no resolution. He thinks that validating my feelings is coddling. It really pisses me off.

No. 270383

File: 1532203920792.gif (55.76 KB, 220x165, tenor.gif)

>>270335
I know how you feel about working around people all day and having limited down time to yourself, anon. I am currently working in retail full time, and work both weekend days. I can handle my job, but honestly when I get off work I just want to sit down and relax for a while, alone. My boyfriend and friends always get super offended if I don't want to do stuff with them immediately after getting off work. (Even though they all spend their Sundays and Saturdays relaxing at home all day, or doing whatever they want).

I'm not a hermit though, I like going out and doing stuff, but preferably on consecutive off-days. That way I'm not exhausted, and don't have to worry about working the next morning. Also I fucking hate it when I'm out with people on a Fri/Sat night and I'm the only person who has to get up early the next day.

No. 270385

>>270357
I have lived in the United States for 23 years and gone to public schools aand have never seen or heard of a real food fight.
I have also never seen athletes wear their Letterman jackets on game day, or geeks get shoved into lockers by bullies, nor do we have 30 minutes breaks in between every class for talking at our lockers, and we never dissected frogs.
American school set TV shows are full of lies.

No. 270405

Mom booked tickets to Edinburgh as a birthday-trip for me. She knows that I've been depressed and she worked extra hours to buy this trip for me. For two months I planned everything that I was going to do there. I'm a big HP fan and love architecture, so Edinburgh is a one of my dream places to visit. Mom and I couldn't stop talking about how much fun we were going to have!

Fast forward two months and I'm on my way to the airport with my mom. On our way we notice that my mom's passport is one month past it's expiration date. Mom starts crying but I assure her that this must've happened before at airports and that we can solve this.

Arrive at the airport and they refuse to let us check in. If we take the taxi to the nearest police station we could pay $100 for a one-day passport. We pay for a taxi and THE POLICE STATION IS CLOSED. It opens 6 am and our flight takes off at 6:25. We call the station and beg for someone to come early. They say no. Mom and I start crying outside of the station and it starts pouring rain. Everything feels hopeless. A small mistake ruined our dream.

BUT a police comes to work early. Around 5:40 am. He let's mom buy a temporary passport. It takes 5 minutes. I was so happy and filled with hope again! I thought that we could make it. Then the printer fucks up. The police tries to fix it which takes 20 min.

We take another taxi back to the airport. (Taxis are veeery expensive here in Sweden but we're in a hurry). Arrive 6 am. We have 25 minutes left. Two airport security guards won't let us even TRY to check in. They literally laugh and say "you're 5 minutes late for the check in hun. Turn back home" in the most condescending way. I started begging her to at least let us try. They're the ones who asked us to pay a shit ton of money for the temporary passport KNOWING that the police station would open 6 am which is too late for the check in.
She let's us walk to the check in desk after she's done laughing at us. We tell the man at the desk that our flight is taking off in 25 minutes. He calls the plane and they say that they weren't done boarding yet but we still can't come since we're 5 minutes late for the check in.

Mom and I turn back home. I'm hysterically crying cause this trip was a dream of mine. The ppl working at the airport tricked us into spending $160 while knowing that we wouldn't make it in time anyway. My mom is a single mother and she's constantly working her ass off. I wanted her to finally go on a vacation and relax. This trip costed her $1010 and now we are home. No refunds are possible and mom feels so guilty and is crying. I'm going to spend my birthday in my room browsing imageboards and wanting to die as usual, when I could've experienced the trip of my dreams instead.

No. 270409

>>270405
I'm so sorry anon :(
I wish you a happy birthday and hope that things work out somehow ♡

No. 270410

File: 1532207685191.gif (1.94 MB, 400x288, 790c0895-0a50-4c15-ac15-154dae…)

I can't seem to manage to fall in love with men. Maybe to an extent I can find them kinda sexually appealing? The thought of marrying a man makes me feel really sad. It seems so unfulfilled to me. I always fall back to imagining about women. I've always caught myself checking women out. In general thinking myself in situations with women sexually. Not sure what I want & I don't want to date men anymore if my current boyfriend doesn't work out. Not because the relationship's are bad, but I can never reciprocate the same love. It's always unconditional & at most platonic. Am I possibly a lesbian? I'm just so afraid of being a fake lesbian or bi. I don't quite understand myself.

No. 270415

>>270405
Jesus fucking christ I'm so sorry to hear this anon. But rather than staying cooped up in your room and miserable all day, maybe you could still spend your birthday together with your mom? Get some snacks and have a movie night or something?

No. 270421

>>270405
my heart is breaking for you and your mom, that really sucks :(

No. 270442

>>270409
thank you so much anon <3
>>270415
Thank you but it just feels so hopeless.. Nothing is going to beat the trip we planned. I also don't want mom to spend more money. I just feel dying honestly. I'll forever remember my 19th birthday as the worst birthday ever because of everything that has happened.
>>270421
Thank you..Yeah it's seriously the worst thing that could've happened.

No. 270445

>>270442
>I'll forever remember my 19th birthday as the worst birthday ever
It's not too late to change that, anon. It's a shit situation but you can turn it around. Get up early tomorrow morning and go for a picnic in the park or visit a museum with your mom (they're probably free in Sweden like the rest of Europe?) I feel so bad for you anon but you both need to so something nice and relaxing rn to relieve the stress.

No. 270462

>>270410
I'm in the same boat as you, anon. I'm still not sure if I would consider myself bi or Lesbian, tho

Try reflecting on why you find the men you do sexually appealing. Are you actually finding them appealing or do you just enjoy then feeling of being wanted? Do you find men in your everyday life appealing or just celebrities and famous men?

For me, I'm not necessarily sexuality attracted to men, but okay with have sex with them when I feel bad about myself and want to feel wanted and loved. And the only time I fantasize about men I when I'm feeling bad about myself and the fantasies are usually degrading and rough.


Also Compulsory heterosexuality is a actual thing that a lot of lesbians deal with.

No. 270486

>>270405
Happy birthday anon, so sorry things unfolded like this. You and your mom did your best

No. 270521

I talked to an old hookup recently and he complained that my hair was always too rough, and that I needed to shampoo. I'm trying not to get mad, but excuse me? This same man who once fetishized me as 'exotic' apparently does not realize that there is more than one hair texture. I have to write this off as ignorance, but I'm lowkey offended. Don't imply i have bad hygiene because my hairtype isn't your standard.

No. 270525

File: 1532232584468.gif (125.16 KB, 500x365, orig.gif)

Becoming terrified of driving in the rain sounds stupid is one of the worst things to happen to me. I've been in car wrecks twice in my life: in the first one I spiraled across the highway and hit a guardrail head-on because of ice, and the second time was this past December when my car suddenly slid on a rainy slick backroad and went into a ditch (I swear I'm not a bad driver). The first one didn't scar me too bad because it was an isolated event, but after the second weather-related crash… I've become incredibly afraid of driving if the road is wet or icy. To an unreasonable degree.

For the first few months after the second crash, I would scream and cry in a full panic while I was driving in the rain because I was convinced I was going to slide off the road and die in a ditch. I've calmed down a little since then but I still fear rain so much. If I hear it's going to rain and I know I'll have to drive in it, I dread it for days ahead of time. When I'm driving in rain, I think I should pull over and text my loved ones goodbye because I fear the rain will cause me to crash and I'll never see those people again.

I've told my therapist about this and I try to tell myself that its an unreasonable fear but it's honestly not.. people die on rainy slick roads in car crashes. I know it happens so I can't get rid of my fear even though it sounds stupid. Its more than a fear for me, I'm consistently fearing that I will die when I'm driving in the rain. I don't know what to do.

No. 270526

>>270405
I'm several hours late for this but pray tell what carrier did you book with?
I work for an airline and mine does have a clause for people with documentation issues.
>No refunds are possible
But that doesn't necessarily mean you have no value left on your tickets! It's possible you can call their reservations line and see if you can change your tickets to a different date using the residual and a fee.
Unless they were non-changeable tickets, but for international I highly doubt it.

I'm sorry the airport workers were such crass cunts to you. If it's any consolation, I think they're power-tripping assholes too.

No. 270529

>>270526
Oh and not sure if you'll read this or not anon but @ the carrier on Twitter and write to their customer relations. I believe you do have a case despite how the airport workers made you feel.

No. 270569

arguments in our family are won by who's being the loudest and, while it is something I hate, i always end up playing into the tradition.

my grandpa is really good at (accidentally I presume) pushing all my buttons in some dumb petty arguments and I end up shouting at him and then I feel bad that I have done it.

just now we had some dumb argument on the topic of "what makes a person french vs french citizen" (we're not even from France lmao it was because of some sports thing) and he wouldn't see the point that by his principles of 100s of generations of pureblood french ancestors romping through Alps or whatever, no one in our country, let alone family, would qualify as a true x-ian. which drove me mad and we ended up shouting again.

do i have anger management issues? this never happens when talking to my friends or mom, just grandparents.

No. 270570

why why why am i feeling SO guilty about eating today. i thought i was over stupid shit like this. i did eat a bit more than normal but i am on my period so i need it, plus i am going out today so i will get exercise, it really isnt that bad. i wish my stupid brain would just stfu. i cant even control my own damn mind

also i know i shouldnt weigh myself today because of period bloat and i ate already but i know im going to do it anyway

No. 270589

>>270525
Anon it sounds like you may have PTSD or an anxiety/panic disorder relating to driving in rain/bad weather, I think you need therapy that specifically tackles that.

Also, you could take some advanced driving lessons or something once you have tackled some of this in therapy which teach you about driving in more challenging conditions to make you feel more capable of driving in bad weather.

Also maybe taking your car to get checked out to make sure the tyres and brakes etc. are okay would help put your mind at ease in the mean time?

No. 270591

File: 1532254833923.jpg (16.15 KB, 360x270, asuinsane.jpg)

That's going to be so generic, but I just broke up with my boyfriend with whom I had one of the most perfect connections. We suited eachother so nicely, everything was so good and he IS such a good person, but goddamit he sucks at relationship so much. At the very beginning we had an amazing chemistry, we loved eachother so bad, but our relationship has gone to shit in June and July. He started being less and less active with me, we didn't spend time with eachother even over the internet, we haven't heard eachothers voice in a fucking month. I talked about our issue, he told me that 'uguuu im such a bad boyfriend im so sorry' and gave dumb promises to do something about it too, because It felt like I was talking to a wall all this time. Yet nothing changed and I still want him back. That might sound so selfish, but I love him so, so much that I'm ready to do freaking anything. Hell, at night I tried to talk about it again. I said that we can try to change the issue between us again, I apologized, I took all the blame on myself yet all i got was: I don't care about our relationship anymore. With fucking 'im really really sorry' and his always dramatical dots. I'm so mad and frustrated. I feel like our relationship was such a waste since the beginning and he never cared that much. I was always the only one who cared about the future. why am i like this, jfc? Im so stupid.

No. 270594

I never learned how to drive because I always saw myself living abroad and moved out of country a year after graduating high school to a country that has amazing public transportation. I hate the idea of driving and have no desire to ever buy my own car. The idea of being on the road with reckless drivers terrifies me.

I’ve been back home now for a year trying to sort out my visa that I’ll be getting in September, so i wont even be here that much longer anyways. I work from home and dont really go out much because my parents live in a rural town. Everybody keeps pressing me to get my license but cant see why i have no fucking need or want for one. Since my work is flexible, i get all sorts of calls from family asking me to watch their kids,house,pets, you name it. They spring this shit on me last minute and then act so inconvenienced when i ask if i can uber over and spend the night instead of ubering early in the morning, or ask for a ride home (which i never really do, only in emergencies). I went to go look after a younger cousin, whose a very sassy 5 year old. She basically yelled “HEY ANON GUESS WHAT MY MOM SAID THAT YOU HAVE TO WATCH ME TOMORROW. YEAH I HAVE TO MISS SCHOOL BECAUSE YOU DONT HAVE A CAR OR A JOB!”

Like cool, thanks aunt for talking about me in front of your kid. She tried to play it off as if the kid just made it up completely, but it was obvious she was flustered. Nice to know that she thinks I’m unemployed too.

I’m tired of people judging me for one stupid little thing. Always so condescending too. And ALWAYS when it has to do with they fact that it in convinces them when I’m they one they chased after to do them a favor. I only put up with it because they pay me and we’re family. But I wouldnt be one bit offended if they just found someone else.

No. 270596

I'm black and I really don't feel like I fit in anywhere. Most black girls my age are only interested in being slutty gold diggers who aspire to be like cardi b, they also have kids. Most white and Asian girls my age are like from a different planet.

No. 270614

>>270591
A classic fate when dating scrotoids.
I am sorry, anon.

No. 270626

File: 1532265397151.jpg (212.08 KB, 874x720, 1873583758373.jpg)

Some black guys in a Discord server I'm in spent a good 40 minutes reaming me and calling me a "coon" for using 4chan because racist white guys also use it (one of them called it "Stormfront for pre-teens"). . Later, I saw one of them who was especially aggressive toward me post screencaps he saved from a Yu-Gi-Oh thread on 4chan.
I called him out, and he flipped his shit backpedaling and calling me "retarded". I ended up blocking him, and then another came to his defense and implied that lurking is fine. So, it's okay to dedicate your time to reading posts about a fucking children's anime about card games written by "racist white boys", but actually posting there about other hobbies is a cardinal sin? Makes perfect sense /s. I pointed that out, and he then moved the goalposts and tried to say the issue was that I "downplayed the racism". Mind you, I only mentioned using 4chan there in passing to joke about the racist posters and how they were fucking retarded.
I stayed for a bit, then just left because I can't surround myself with hypocrites and retarded faux "woke" activists like that (especially when they're idiot manchildren who like YGO above the age of 14). Honestly, he sounded like a fucking incel, too. He was probably just feeling cucked and angry at the thought of someone black and female interacting with anything white and male, though he also admitted to having a hateboner for me before and said it was the "third time" he was mad about some sort of argument (which makes no sense, I hadn't posted there in literal years until two days ago, and in that time, my only semi-negative interaction was me saying I don't hate all white people, and this occasion of him screaming me for using 4chan).
The grand irony of all this? The server itself was started by people who use 4chan. It was advertised specifically on /fa/ for black hair care/styling.

No. 270634

File: 1532266768778.jpg (40.14 KB, 1280x720, ok.jpg)

>>270626
I think I might have been in the same server for a week or so. Do they call their oldest users "veterans"? I joined because it was advertised on /fa/ lol.

No. 270637

>>270634
I'm not sure, but it was probably the same one, lmao. There was a verification channel, and a channel with resources/hair care graphs. The place is/was pretty dead, though, except for like six casual regulars.

No. 270682

I haven’t socialized or met up with my friends in a few years and I think it’s starting to get to me. I’ve only seen two of them in the past year and it was just running into one unexpectedly at the grocery store and seeing the other with their family at a concert. I always think that if I hang out with them I’ll overstay my welcome or run out of things to say

No. 270696

>>270626
why is every adult male who likes yugioh a complete manchild wtf

No. 270707

>>270696
>why does every adult that enjoys [children’s franchise] act like a manchild
It answers itself

No. 270717

File: 1532287710661.jpeg (46.64 KB, 423x262, DB947AFD-CC77-42BC-9195-72902F…)

My husband decided on a really positive career change that finally moved us away from DC, where we’d been living for about a year, and, aside from some drama with our shitty apartment office, the transition from there to where we are now was fantastic; he’s currently in WA for work after a few months in GA while I’m with his family in AZ and I couldn’t be happier. But lately I’ve been feeling worn down.
I’ve had trouble finding a job, which eats away at my depression because I basically NEED something productive to do or I start to slump, I’m “friends” with an insufferable cow from /snow/ who honestly drives me nuts but I try to stay to give the thread occasional updates, and just recently a family member I had an ugly falling out with has been trying to work her way back into my life via the sympathy card. Long story short she has a history of bullying me ever since we were kids (we’re a month apart in age, she’s pretty and skinny while I’ve always been the fat, weird one) and she repeatedly emotionally lashed out at me after she found out I had an abortion while she chose to go through with a pregnancy with a guy our whole family pretty much despises; guy is rude, abusive, literal trailer trash with an arrest record and basically looks like Hank Hill with a touch of downs. I had gotten married a few weeks before her baby was born, she blames me for our family not being excited about the baby, and was consistently passive aggressive through any interaction we had until I finally just cut contact with her.
While I was vacationing with a mutual friend in Canada recently she saw the pictures via Facebook and reached out to compliment my weight loss (She’d tried once back when my dad died in 2016, but I ignored it given the circumstances and how she’d always hated my dad, so I was in no mood for her faux sympathy. Also, I’m down from 346lbs to 227!), then used that window to vent about her now-husband being the POS we all knew he was (turns out he cheated on her during the pregnancy with a friend who later was a bridesmaid at their wedding), how she moved from our home town because all her old popular high school friends now avoided her, and I can feel myself wanting to be sympathetic and give her a shoulder to lean on, but time and time again it’s literally just an abusive relationship between us; it’s great for a week or two, then she’s Mr Hyde again. Is it too harsh to say you hate a family member? Because any time she’s brought up, I see her face, of hear her name I have a very visceral gut reaction and start to shake. I hate that she affects me so much, and I’ve left her most recent message on read because I just don’t know what to say.

No. 270719

>>270717
Honestly no matter how nice you've been to her it seems like she'll always bully you because she hates herself and situation and you shouldn't have to go through that. (that's really awesome about the weight loss anon)I can relate about the job eventhough I'm just part-time (pot washer) it really does help with depression even if its not the greatest pay. Don't worry anon just keep at it! Maybe you should apply to pot washing as well? It'll give you something to do for time being and you can earn lil' money on the side, and they're always in high demand because everyone else is applying to retail jobs lol.

Fake kindness is the worse especially when you know its fake. You sound like a good person (you can sympathize for her) but honestly this 'abusive relationship' it seems like she's never going to change and will always try to bring you down, she's got to want to try and change herself. She's taking everything out on you because she has a shit life (unwanted child) (shit husband), and she's using you as the punching bag. Watch from a distance but I wouldn't contact her because she seems like she enjoys making you feel miserable. Don't feel bad for not replying, just block her and maybe think it over? Or delete her number, she just seems like a nasty bitter person. Who once had it all (popular in school, skinny and pretty) even the school social hierarchy's mean nothing in the real world but she still has the nerve to continue her horrible behaviour.

No. 270720

>>270719
*eventhough

No. 270724

File: 1532289844224.gif (420.73 KB, 384x288, E528F701-1DD0-4883-BEF0-5BDDF3…)

>>270719
Thanks, anon, it felt great to let this out. My husband listens, of course, but I think sometimes people just need an anonymous place, ya know? I put out a few more job applications today, so fingers are crossed.

No. 270728

File: 1532290828353.gif (278.31 KB, 500x375, virtual hug.gif)

>>270724
Yeah! You got this! :D I totally agree, it's good to vent and let it all out anonymously. Volunteering might help too! For an extra extra thing to do to keep us busy. I'm sure you'll do great anon, I wish you the best :)

No. 270732

I'm so exhausted of living with my narcissistic mother. She's pissing me the fuck off

The only thing she does is complain and scream at my and my father's faces.

She doesn't do SHIT. She pushes me and call me names all the time just because I can't read her fucking mind to do what she wants out of nowhere.

She is a bad person she treats my dad's family like trash and made unecessary fights.

She now tries to choke and kick ur puppy because he jumps at her when he gets excited. Whe are teaching him to restrain itself but because she is hitting him he's getting more aggressive.

I tried talking to her, many MANY times already. And she just screams, pushes me to a chair and close my mouth with her fingers and spouts nonsensical bullshit.

I'm gonna fcking explode

No. 270736

>>270732
Was she officially diagnosed? It sounds more like BPD to me. Sorry for being indiscrete

No. 270741

>>270732
CHOKE AND KICK???? what a fucking monster. That is really fucked, I'm sorry you have to live with that anon, I have no idea how hard it must be. How old are you anon (if you don't mind me asking)? Is there anybody you can talk to with authority that you can trust? Why does your dad have to put up with the bullying does he hate conflict? It's not fair that she gets away with treating you all like shit because she's a miserable piece of shit. I wish I could do more but these sites might help, https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/
https://www.reddit.com/r/NarcissisticAbuse/
Idk if she has bpd, like anon was suggesting but she may have but mental illness is still no excuse to be a bully. Is it impossible or have you tried sitting down with her and telling her how she's affected the family. I hope things get sorted out and that you and you're dad and puppy are safe anon.

No. 270748

>>270736
Not really, we tried to talk her into trying to visit a psychologist before. But she didn't took it well and got offended. Don't need to be sorry!

>>270741
(I dont mind telling my age, I'm 18 turning 19 in september) I often talk with my uncle ( her brother ) and he help me sometimes, her sisters back her up so I gave up calling them for help.
My dad is afraid she'll do something bad to me if he stand up about the abuses. She tried to run away with me when I was a child ( because my dad asked her to help him clean up the house) . So he got kind of scared since.
Thank you for the reddit links, I suspect of narc because she throws a scene when I try to go out with friends ( she pushes all my clothes out of the
wardobre, put the clean dishes back on the sink to make me clean all up again right when I'm about to leave home ) and calls me ugly to flatter herself while doing it. Thank you anon, I hope so too

No. 270753

>>270591
I was in the same exact situation a year ago. I think the most important thing to realize is that the breakup would've happened at some point, sooner or later. Being able to change people is rare and holding onto hope at this point will do nothing but cause you even more pain. You aren't stupid, you simply were too good and mature of a person for him. I'm sure you'll get through this anon, stay strong!

No. 270756

>>270589
One thing I forgot to mention is that I got rid of my car that was in the wreck even though people at the auto shop said it was good to go. I was pretty convinced that I would die in that car so I'm driving around something else now.

I've thought about it being PTSD, but my therapist didn't bring it up when I told her what I'm dealing with, so I've dropped it.

I didn't think about more driving lessons though and I might look into that, thanks anon.

No. 270758

I'm stressing the fuck out about moving abroad. I can only take a 30kg luggage on the plane and I know it won't be enough, but the company I'm taking charges crazy amounts for extra luggage for some reason so I'll have to make do. I hate it.

No. 270762

File: 1532300157933.jpeg (218.21 KB, 1242x1065, A4C6EB8E-275B-48D9-8FCE-17136C…)

>some random account I follow on tumblr reblogged a user that’s obviously ripping off the illustrations of another popular artist
>checked their account and they somehow also had the gall to complain about how ~problematic~ said artist is whose style and themes they are mimicking
Really

No. 270765

Basically I have to learn how to drive stick and get my license. I have learned to drive automatic and got my license back where I'm from but even after all those hours I spent practicing for the test I still hate driving and have avoided it as much as possible because I am always nervous when I'm at the wheel.

My partner is being very encouraging and wants to teach me. Its very difficult for me to let go of my fears and relax

No. 270770

>>270748
I turned 19 this year too! Happy birthday for September. She's a sad person, we've gotta keep fighting anon and anon, if she calls you ugly you must be looking beautiful to make her feel that insecure. But no mother should call there child ugly and your dad truly loves you. Have you got a part-time job? Its good to get away from the family that might help for the time being, I'm a pot washer, it's fun join me :D I've got your back if you ever want to message me on discord my names: Ash Catches Them All , and yeah the people on reddit are really nice. I've never dealt with a full blown narcissist but I have experienced it, and I know nobody deserves to go through it. You just gotta keep doing you and doing the things you love.

I guess I'll rant, skip if you don't wanna read an autobiography (rip) I just didn't really no how to put it. My twin sibling has Downs Syndrome along with Autism, OCD and anger issues. Lets call him Harry. He has the mental age of a 3 year old and can barely speak and he is not very nice. A couple of years ago he punched our mums eyes and she thought she was blind (that's when I knew he was dangerous).

I love HIM TO BITS I WOULD DIE FOR HIM but I also FUCKING HATE HIM and sometimes wish he was aborted even if that could have aborted me as well.

Its stopped for the past few weeks but before he was having tantrums nearly every night we had to pin him to the floor before he could hurt himself or ourselves. I'm just tired. We usually end up being bitten or scratched and I feel bad for our mum because he's taken big chunks out of her hair that makes her upset because her hair is already thinning.

When he has these tantrums he's like a rabid animal breaks everything around him, the worse of it all is that he will never learn or think what he's doing is wrong because of his mental age and as soon as he's calmed down he says 'sorry' and you have to say 'it's ok Harry' about 10 times or else he'll lash out again.

He also has trigger words like 'stop it' which is kinda ironic lol. We have code words like 'he's amber' or 'beady eyed' so to be cautious, he also copies disabled children's behaviour from school so its a downward spiral kek. I'm just so tired of it. But I love him and when he's nice he's like an innocent baby and he's the sweetest brother in the world he loves us loves me, he truly cares for me.

When he has tantrums its different. When my mum screams for help on one occasion I didn't go because I just couldn't feel sympathy for her anymore, she insists keeping him in the house when he's dangerous to the whole family. I just don't care anymore, I've never posted this because its natural, yes it gets bad but nobody's get's really hurt. He's also developed a routine and if you break out of that routine it also gets bad that could be for the slightest thing. But that's why we've got to stick to the routine.

AND HE SCREAMS IN THE MORNING EVERYDAY. FUCKING. DAY. THIS IS A MORE RECENT THING so it annoys me more than it should lol. I've seen it but in the past when we've had to pin him down my brother would choke him out of anger and admittedly I scratched him on the foot and arm when he was pinned down and enjoyed it even though that's a horrible thing to do.

My dad is going through depression because he can't handle his new job and he might lose it, so he's been kinda snappy and angry at me over little thing and I feel like I've always got to cater to him because he uses his depression (eventhough I have sympathy for him) but I think he's getting better, at least I've started a partime job, and I can kinda manage the anxiety.

But before my dads uncertain job I feel like me and my sibling have had a privileged life (keyboard lessons, swimming lessons, drama school for most of my life, skiing holidays) so I feel like I deserve what our brother does because that's what comes with living a privileged life. It's justified or else I would have had the perfect life. You get what I mean.

I've also become extremely cynical with disabled children even though I love them, if I was pregnant and we found out it was disabled I would not blink and get an abortion. I will never adopt disabled children either it's just too much heart break. I feel like children like my brother should be put down (if they are violent), but I also would never want that to happen.

After years I was shocked to find out that a lot of people with Downs Syndrome are normal and can function in society but it's hard not to judge since people with Downs Syndrome have similar facial features and it just remind me of Tom and his behaviour.

He's now on pills that make him zone out for 3 hours but for some reason he's still able to fight us. I'm very cautious uploading this ((none of my family know about this site or relatives, or friends)) idk lol

No. 270771

crap I did too many spaces

No. 270800

I ratted out a cousin today for leaving all her new weed shit at my parents house.

She stayed with them while on vacation and played the fuck out of them - money, lodging, food. The whole nine yards. They never had a ton of rules for me as a kid either other than don’t bring booze and drugs into the house. They don’t quite care if you do either but just don’t want it in the house.

I sent a message to her letting her know my parents found her shit. I had to deal with 20 questions of them thinking it was mine before they finally let off because I don’t even /live at home anymore/.

I told her good luck. Don’t contact me or my parents. Fuck off.

I don’t feel one bit sorry. Go fuck up someone else’s home.

No. 270807

>>270770
That sounds really difficult anon, I'm sorry. I hope writing it out was helpful. Definitely some people with DS live a happy full life and can go around on their own and everything. He was unlucky. I know that nursing homes and stuff put people on very strong drugs and are very rough with them, I'm guessing that's why he's still at home because it's kinder. But it sounds so difficult, my sympathies anon. You're a good sister.

No. 270814

>become aware of breathing
>convince self that I'm struggling to catch breath all day
>make self miserable on a perfectly good day off
This is fucking ridiculous.

No. 270817

>>270814

FUCK, this happens to me a lot.

No. 270821

>>270770
Thank you for the advice! I'm currently at Uni and it takes all my day. But I'll try to get some jobs when there's a break. Thank you for giving me your discord! I'll try to hit u up when I log in again. ( But Idk if its good for you to have you name displayed here, hope no one tries to mess with you )

You seem like a very good sister. It's a difficult situation with your brother, you love him, but he can also hurt you ( even if he didn't really mean it ) Is there any way to get him professional help? Your mother won't be able to calm him down forever, Hope you guys find a way to keep everyone happy and healthy ) :C

No. 270858

>>270770
I’m so sorry anon that you have to live through this. I’ve witnessed a fit from an otherwise cheerful girl with a developmental disorder - truly not sure what she had. Any time I saw her it was always positive, but one day the environment was different and I think it confused her. She suddenly went into a rage and started throwing things and pulling down heavy objects. Her care taker had to pin her down like you describe and it was so traumatic to watch - however I knew I had to stay away until it was all done. When they are angry they have strength they otherwise do not - does that make sense?
Seeing that once was so hard, I can not imagine it being daily. It’s veey emotionally draining for everyone involved. I wish you luck with your family and I hope they can find some help in some way… it’s so hard on everyone. Sending you a hug anon.

No. 270864

>>269962
Im so done with libfem media
>20. Critically examine the information you’re given about fatness. Investigate who is sharing the material and question what they might have to gain from it.
>21. Erase the words “obesity epidemic” from your vocabulary. Demonization of fat bodies is a classic scapegoating tool employed by governments. When they talk about the "obesity epidemic," they’re using coded language to get you to blame systematic societal problems (poverty, crime, climate change) on poor communities and communities of color. You’re smarter than that.

https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/mb4e7n/how-to-treat-fat-people-ally-fatphobia

No. 270867

I feel really useless right now

Earlier today when I picked her up from work she started crying suddenly telling me she's been holding it in for the whole day
When I asked what's wrong she said she didn't want to talk about it
I gave her space and did my best to make her feel better

Now she's on the couch crying again and talking with her online friend
Going to him to deal with whatever she's upset about instead of discussing it with me or whatever

It makes me feel like a useless piece of shit because I obviously can't make her feel better so she runs to someone else and I'm miserable
Thinking about leaving and staying in another place tonight
I feel uncomfortable

No. 270873

>>270864
this shit pisses me off so much! especially from people in the US. people always always seem to claim that drs are making that shit up, but news to them, drs make less money off of people who aren't obese and don't have the many many chronic health issues that come with it.

No. 270878

>>270807
>>270821
>>270858

Yeah it helped a lot! Thank you guys for letting me get it off my chest and listening to me, you don't know how much it means to me. And how you think I'm a good sister after saying those things it's helped and reassured me a lot. I honestly got a bit emotional reading the replies and how supportive you guys are.

>>270821
No probs anon, I'm going Uni in September so it's not long, yeah hit me up B I think its #4751 if it doesn't work. (I'll change my name if they do) Yeah my mum said they'll be a point that they won't be able to take care of him anymore but I think he gives my mum a strong purpose in life if that makes any sense for the time being and we've become more aware of his triggers. The medication has also helped make him calmer. Thank you for the support anon.

>>270858
That's sad to hear about the girl I hope she's ok and yeah that makes sense. Thank you for your kind words it means a lot, lately it's not been as bad, thank you for the support and hug anon. I think things will get better because September he's going to a special needs uni and they have specialized teachers and classes with proper facilities which I think will really help. And he seems a lot happier when he's at school.

No. 270883

File: 1532327767069.jpeg (5.25 KB, 225x225, download.jpeg)

>rough day at work
>go to view company-wide facebook page
>one person asks people to post cute animal pictures to lighten mood
>retarded coworkers post pictures of their ugly shitbulls

I gotta get out of here.

No. 270884

File: 1532327873082.jpg (81.07 KB, 960x640, 7c7e092490afd523185802a6f771d8…)

>nerdy male friend I rejected years ago
>talks about his gf to friends specially me all the time
>his first serious relationship
>shows me pics of her and his gifts to her every fucking time
>was looking for RPG things to gift him on his bday but 'she's already gonna give me those'
>getting meaner probably bcuz he's dating now

Sometimes I think he's unexperienced and wants to brag a little but most times it feels like he's trying to rub in my face 'look I got myself a gf while you're still single'. It's driving me crazy how he treats his gf like a literal goddess and then proceeds to act like an ogre towards me. I really just wish he treated me with the some respect since we know each other since HS and I've been nothing but a great friend all these years. Also, I find it weird when he says he's a submissive guy, wants women to rule the world/society and yet is always kind of agressive? I might be expecting too much from a male, after all.

No. 270893

>>270883
It's not their fault if you're an asshole and hate dogs

No. 270894

File: 1532331804740.jpeg (130.83 KB, 321x360, 05A887AB-211E-4CD7-BEE4-538A2C…)


No. 270896

>>270893
NTAYRT but I love dogs with all my life yet I also think pitbulls are ugly as fuck and I only see them as dysfunctional killing machines. Only people with utterly no aesthetic taste could find pitbulls "cute". They're ugly and terrifying.

No. 270905

File: 1532334171088.jpg (81.77 KB, 540x960, horrifying.jpg)

>>270893
I love most dogs, just not ugly shitmonsters that attack and kill people and do the same to other dogs.
How can you claim to love dogs and support a breed that's often aggressive and unpredictable towards them?

If any other type of pet attacked and killed as many people and their pets as shitbulls did, that pet would be banned everywhere.

>>270894
Hah, but no seriously.
>people posting adorable pictures of their dogs
>snuggly cats
>affectionate birds
>then someone posts this beady-eyed looking psycho
>"LOOK AT MY CYOOT PUPPEEEE CHEESIN FOR THE CAM!"
Sure lady. It looks scary.

No. 270910

>>270884
>I find it weird when he says he's a submissive guy, wants women to rule the world/society and yet is always kind of agressive?
The red flag is right there. Never trust a male "feminist" or anyone who identifies as such. From my anecdotal experience most "male feminists" are more than not often just misogynists with a femdom fetish. They can be the biggest closet assholes you'll ever meet. What usually get's them to come out is when they no longer recieve the social validation for their beliefs/views which they crave. Sounds to me like he stopped being friendly with you now that he's getting his validdation from his new gf.

I don't mean to play armchair psychiatrist or judge your friend and your relationship with him, but keep an eye out. If I'm right it's a slippery slope from where things are between you two right now.

No. 270912

>>270905
You don’t need to justify yourself so hard. Idc what dog breeds you do or don’t like, nobody does.

It’s just funny to see someone bitch and moan because a harmless picture you weren’t forced to veiw exists. It’s such a petty stance.

No. 270917

>>270912
You're the one who accused me of hating all dogs because I said I don't like pitbulls, don't pretend you're not being defensive towards my little opinion that I certainly didn't force you to view and reply to in the vent thread.

No. 270919

>>270917
We're different people, it's not the same anon

No. 270920

>>270919
Huh, weird how posters like you don't ever seem to differentiate yourselves and jump right in place for the original anon who made the unreasonable leap in logic to trigger my response that you're complaining about.

No. 270924

I just came out of a long term unhealthy relationship and I'm feeling really fucked up. I know this is the best thing for me but all I can do is remember the better moments we shared and the little things he'd do and everything I loved about him.

I'm feeling so much regret despite the entire time I was breaking. I never want to feel anything for another human being again. It hurts too much.

It's taking all of my strength not to go back to him because I know deep down I made the right choice for me and my health.

No. 271009

>>270758
Why do you need so much stuff anon? Just get some basic stuff there and build up over time. No need to make things complicated. Anyone can live out of a backpack if they just tried.

No. 271025

File: 1532362473275.jpg (35.57 KB, 680x578, god.jpg)

>be me
>bring boyfriend on a movie date to my old workplace
>old manager and coworkers recognize me, say hi, catch up, etc
>go to watch movie
>bf is all over me the whole time like a horny 14 year old
>hand on my thigh, loudly kissing my neck, etc.
>he keeps talking during the movie
>have to repeatedly shush him and take his hands off me
>employees (my old coworkers) come in and out of the theatre frequently to serve drinks and stuff so they all witness this

holy fuck it was really embarrassing

he's never been like this any other time we've gone to the movies. i guess he was trying to like… idk assert his dominance or something? most of my coworkers were male so it felt like he was being gross to make sure they all know i'm off limits. he's an adult, 5-ish years older than me at that. i'm not taking him to that location again. i'm kind of mortified.

No. 271027

>>271025
haha wow that's gross. did you ask him why he's acting like that?

No. 271028

>>271025
>hand on my thigh, loudly kissing my neck, etc.
>he keeps talking during the movie

Should've punched him in the face. And your coworkers are probably making fun of you.

No. 271041

>>271025
anon, you shouldn’t have to explain this to him, but if he cares about your feelings then please explain how uncomfortable he made you around your coworkers. he should understand that he’s already your boyfriend, he doesn’t need to make a spectacle of you in public to prove anything, and that it’s not worth jeopardizing your right to be comfortable at work. these people are your coworkers, i’m assuming you see them every day and have a professional relationship with them; you deserve to be able to hang out together without worrying your boyfriend will make you uncomfortable again. please don’t stay quiet about it anon, that’s a legitimate concern and something that should be addressed.

No. 271065

>>270637
It was literally the most unwelcoming server I've ever been in. Like what's the point of inviting people if you literally have your own little circle jerking exclusive club in it.

No. 271110

>>271065
Ugh, I'm glad to hear it's not just me who thought that. If that's what works for them, I guess it's their business, though, lmao. I just regret ever wasting my time there only to get burned.
Maybe one day there'll actually be a decent, active Discord server out there for black hair care stuff, preferably with that "imageboard culture" crossover.

No. 271161

File: 1532396861262.jpg (50.36 KB, 500x291, sobspock.jpg)

I studied really hard to this test (it's actually a test to work to the government, i don't know how to call it in english) and still failed miserably. I kinda knew I wasn't going to pass, cause the test is super hard and sought over, but as I kept studying I thought maybe I could have a chance. Nope. I am a bit bummed out because the pay was very good. Well, best luck next time, I guess.

No. 271190

File: 1532400784174.jpg (21.89 KB, 375x542, CN-bDLOUEAATqqt.jpg)

I'm really hairy, I've always have been. I get full coverage of hair EVERYWHERE. On my stomach, chest, face, neck, back, ass, you name it. I always have to wear clothes that covers most skin because of it. Ironic how my head hair is thinning from the edges, but regrows absolutely everywhere in a week. I don't know what to do. I'm not comfortable enough to accept it. Shaving doesn't work because I'm very pale & my hair is very dark. You can even see the pores & some hair when I shave underneath the skin. Never tried waxing though. I do remember using Nair ( i think? ) hair removal cream on a patch of legbeard & it didnt regrow in that certain area for about 5 years. Huh, is that even normal? Now for my vent, I don't think I could ever get naked in front of a lover because of all the hair I have all over my body. Makes me sad I'm pretty much a freak. I'm very jealous of women with little hair. I'd give anything to end my hairyness. I didn't even inherit it from my dad, but my mom who is half french.

No. 271195

File: 1532404210849.jpg (47.95 KB, 438x375, 1523750657612.jpg)

>>270910
Damn anon I think you hit the nail on the head here, I really appreaciate your insight. He's actually worse than that, since he unleashead all his secret fetishes on me (I was curious) I can't see him in the same light again. Fucking hell, I'd hate to be his gf with all the shit he's been pulling.

Yesterday he felt the need to tell me he bought two vibrators while we were in a pizza place, ffs

Best one until now: he wanted to be born as a woman but changed his mind now he's getting his validation as a super M sub or whatever

No. 271196

>>271025
>idk assert his dominance or something
>to make sure they all know i'm off limits

Vent: I can't stand this kind of behavior and that must be the reason why I'm still single. Men in general feel the need to act like this towards their partners in one way or another to show they're alpha/macho. Having an older brother made me aware of this on guys so whenever they pull shit like this I feel nothing but deep hatred for them.

No. 271198

>>271190
>I don't know what to do.
>it didnt regrow in that certain area for about 5 years.
>Never tried waxing though.
So you found a method that works then never did it again, and haven't tried literally the 2nd most popular form of hair removal after shaving and you're all out of ideas? I feel for you but you seem to have done approximately zero research. There are so many different ways to get rid of hair, instead of feeling sorry for yourself and calling yourself a freak put some effort into fixing it.

No. 271199

You could try photoepilation or laser hair removal. I'm trying the first one and it works so far, I have almost zero hair on my armpits now, they will take longer to grow for months or even years. Idk how much it would cost you tho.

>IPL works like a flash-lamp, sending out scattered wavelengths of light, making IPL very targeted. That also means it affects the pigment in your skin too, so IPL only really works for those with fair skin and dark hair.

It's perfect for you.

No. 271248

File: 1532423387247.jpg (26.84 KB, 317x428, 4b2.jpg)

I'm trying to apply for a government job that's really sought after and someone told us to use the in-site resume builder instead of uploading our own because apparently it's better?
I want to get this done ahead of time because apparently the slots are first-come-first-serve and I don't want to miss because I was working on the resume last minute.

I timed out the first time because lolcow distracted me lel.
I've done it a second time now and that took me about an hour. I hit save and now it's fucking stuck on the loading screen and has been for the past 8 minutes.

I'm going to vomit if this doesn't go through. I don't want to have to make up duties/skills/accomplishment bullets all over again. Fuck me from sunday this shit is so annoying.

No. 271249

>>271248
Yep, it didn't go through. None of my progress was saved. DICKS.

No. 271260

>>271199
I just wanted to ask you or any other anons with experience, have you ever used one of those permanent hair removal devices and are there any recs?

sage for ot

No. 271280

I love my boyfriend, he's my best friend, but I can't stand sharing a house with him anymore. He doesn't do laundry, he doesn't do dishes, he doesn't take out the trash… I recently had a medical issue that left me bed ridden for a couple of months and I don't even know where to begin to fix this mess. I feel like this house could be on Hoarders. I'm way to overwhelmed to conquer it on my own and it doesn't bother him at all. He also trashed the fuck out of my car that I let him use since he doesn't have his own. There's gnats everywhere. I just want to focus on getting back into work and continuing my treatment. Even if I wanted to leave, I can't because being off work drained my savings.

I know this is going to sound shitty, because he was working and taking care of me, but I gained so much weight. From both being off my feet and because he didn't have the energy to get anything other than fast food. I guess I wouldn't even be so bitter if I didn't discover he was talking to a younger woman at work, nothing happened between them I guess, but he blamed me for "being a bump on the couch." I don't know maybe this sounds worse than it really is but I don't know if I'd be any happier if I left.

No. 271292

>>271190
I'm probably not as bad as you describe but I can relate because I have a massive complex about showing anyone my armpit, since even after shaving you can see the dark pores. Waxing sounds like a good idea for you, Nair never worked for me but I wish it did.

No. 271294

>>271190
Could it be to due an imbalance of hormones? Maybe seek a doctor or medical advice it might be something more going on. I know the feels of being pale and hairy, have you tried Nair? or bleaching facial hair blonde that's what I do, might help a little.

No. 271296

>>271196
Not to be a """handmaiden""" but I've witnessed women doing this, too. Grabbing onto, kissing, and straddling their bfs in public to show that he's theirs.
It just seems to be more of an insecure partner thing than a man thing.

A macho act would be more like degrading his gf to other men.

No. 271297

>>271280
I hate this type of men. He just expects you to do everything, it's incredible.

No. 271305

>>270119
Yes it sucks. I found out my husband(then bf) watched it for many years and hid it for some reason(i would not have cared early on, i was really into fanfiction),and did not bother to tell me until a religious conversion when he was really trying to get his shit together. The lies hurt, and he could have at least told me he could not go 12 hours without it before i wasted my time sending him nudes.

I work hard on my appearance also, and it bums me out that i will never feel hot enough again like i did before. He shouldnt have told me, just cut that shit out and kept his mouth shut.I love him dearly but Lord that old self esteem took a hit.
More recently I mentioned that I found a certain celebrity quite attractive and he got so sad and insecure. This might makes me a bitch but i felt so vindicated. He said "This is how I made you feel?" YES. A THOUSAND TIMES YES.
We understand each other a lot better now and im glad his porn addiction seems to be over.

No. 271306

500 days before I'm 30 and I'm freaking the fuck out. I have one year left on my bachelor and it's going pretty good but now I'm feeling like my LTR is slipping away.
We've had weeks of bickering with him telling me he wasn't sure about the relationship anymore because he's rethinking his life since his dad is dying and he was anxious about changing jobs. He has a new job now, is suddenly talking to a lot of girl friends that were crushing on him years ago, he goes out, do stuff. I'm happy he's not in a slump anymore but I'm terrified he's going to dump me.
I don't have any money right now since I've been digging into my savings to go back to school and I have no family or friends to go to. If he dumps me, I'm on the streets without a degree. I'm si fucking afraid I'm going to lose him and my last chance at a decent career.

No. 271342

>>271280
Wow fuck this dude, you were sick for a month and he couldn't get you anything to eat other than fast food and then calls you a bump on the couch for being bedridden and ill? He sounds fair weather as fuck.

No. 271432

My boyfriend told me he isn't confident in telling me he loves me right now.

No. 271465

>>271028
>Should've punched him in the face. And your coworkers are probably making fun of you.

lol relax incelle. He's just insecure

No. 271518

>>271432
i prefer this tbh. why say something you're not sure about? just because you're supposed to feel that way? i think holding off makes it way more meaningful if he does fall in love with you.

how long have you been together?

No. 271534

>meet guy whose really nice, cute, fit
>he goes on date with me, says he likes me and finds me attractive
>spend all my time here so my body image is warped, im not >120lb smoll model waifu so he must only want me as a fetish
>become convinced he’s lying, want to push him away
>stress out about this 24/7

help me not self sabotage

No. 271537

>>271534
People on here are crazy. He chose you to spend time with, he's not going to shit in you for your probably entirely normal weight. On here, we usually show men at their worst, but men are indeed attracted to things like personality as well.

No. 271541

>>271518
A couple years. He's told me many times in the past, it's just he's going through a hard time right now.

No. 271544

>>271537
but shouldn’t a fit guy want a girl whose fit and attractive like him? it doesn’t make any sense

No. 271562

>>271544
Nah. Some fit guys want a gym bunny for a partner and some fit guys want a chubby girl. It’s like the height meme. Everyone knows the joke about shirt guys being undateable manlets but irl lots of shirt guys are in relationships. Tess holiday has a much thinner husband despite being over 300 pounds herself.
Your body isn’t the only thing a decent partner will be interested in. There’s more to you than whether or not you have visible abs.

No. 271571

File: 1532499443771.jpg (135.98 KB, 700x933, tumblr_oynig3BASu1tepew7o1_128…)

>tfw people used to complement you on your cute figure bc they didn’t know you were anorexic and now that you’re at a normal weight you realise your body type and weight distribution is wholly unspectacular and no one complements you anymore

sucks

No. 271592

File: 1532500869653.jpeg (81.67 KB, 512x384, 61C1E71D-76A2-4CA6-92E1-AE30A1…)

My grandma was a shit mom, had 5 kids with different dads, and had my last two aunt and uncle 13 years after her third child. My mom was basically the one forced to pseudo raise them from age 16 until she basically married my dad and moved to across the country with him at age 21. My grandma was a big partier and left my mom and her other siblings with my great grandma when they were younger.

She’s such a manipulative narcissist and tries to act like the perfect grandmother to my youngest aunts kids. She does all of these facebook lives to show them off to all of her old lady friends and makes comments about how they are such grandmas boys, etc. Its all so fake and annoying, because she’s got 8 other grandchildren born before them and she was never like that to any of us. Fuck your social media image. You were a shit mom and a shit grandmother years before these kids were born. But that doesnt make for a good image now does it?

No. 271619

File: 1532504652004.jpg (26.87 KB, 480x360, figure it out.jpg)

Boyfriend is complaining to me about his job again. He works for a chain restaurant as a bartender and already he wants to quit, it's only been 7 months. Why? Not because of his coworkers, manager, the actual work–nope. Because "he can't get behind" the cocktails he serves at the restaurant.
………
It's the most superficial, retarded thing I've ever heard.
The work isn't difficult, it's often slow, his shifts are short, and he can fudge his schedule often because they don't formally clock.
Worst of all, he acts like it's all unfair. As if it's so unusual for the average person to have to deal with corporate bullshit and sell things they don't personally find useful or great.
He doesn't have a college degree, but massive amounts of debt from dropping out and blowing off making payments. He can't go back to college because they won't release his credits back to him.
He's only ever been in food service. He has no other skills, certs, or training.
It makes me mad how he can't suck it up and stick to anything. For the entire four years we've dated he hasn't been with any single job for more than 2 years.

Meanwhile, I have degrees up to an MA and I don't even make over 20/hr. I deal with customers and coworkers with room temp IQs back to back all day. I sell products for a brand I think is bullshit all day. Nobody acknowledges my skill or appreciates me, even though I meet and exceed company metrics every month, because it's never enough.
I've been with this job for over 3 years because it's given me stability, benefits, and nice perks. I sucked it up and dealt with it because it's what I've fucking had to do.

Will I find a better job? Hopefully out of my applications I'll finally find out adequate. But for now, it's better for me to stick with a job I hate that gives me stability because that's the mature thing to do!

No. 271623

I hate having to push back my visa application because of money issues. And the fact that i have to send in my school transcript to prove im a student but the only credits i have are part-time credit hours back from spring semester and i know they are going to say something about how im not a full time student and reject my visa app entirely. I just want to gtf out of this country

No. 271625

>>271619
>I sell products for a brand I think is bullshit all day.

Which brand anon?

Also, dump him, he has no future and doesn't seem like he got plans for the future.

No. 271628

>>271619
If your bf wants to quit it's his mess, but fuck you sound super bitter. It's also pathetic that you've had an MA for over 3 years and make as much as someone without a high school degree can make.

No. 271629

>>271625
I think he should dump her, she obviously wasted her life on degrees if she can't even get a high paying job in her field.

No. 271631

>>271628
>>271629
Because people who've at least tried to work on their employability shouldn't feel sorry for chronic quitters and people who've never tried to improve their situation.

Sounds like you've got a struck nerve. Especially since you think it's uncommon for college grads to be underpaid.

No. 271637

Lately I have gained a lot of weight. I went from 99 lbs to 121 lbs.
The hardest thing has been to face the criticism of my family, I can never put on the clothes that I want because then they lower my self-esteem completely, especially my mom who spends criticizing my whole body. The worst thing is that I'm about to go to college and they chose mine.

No. 271668

I'm such a burden on my parents that I really want to kill myself, on the other hand it would probably destroy them if I did it.

I feel completely stuck and I can't handle those emotions.

No. 271709

>>271668
You're not a burden, they chose to have you and raise you, it's a job they accepted. Nobody is a burden. People need support in order to grow, becoming your own person means getting help first. You don't just flop out of the nest on the day you're born, a fully formed adult. Life is all about growth and progression. Keep pushing forward and you will achieve your goals. Have faith in yourself and your intelligence and skill. And don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it, we are a community, no human can thrive while completely solitary.

No. 271711

>>270119
I don't like porn because everyone is so ugly in it, male and female, so I can't relate to the female on-screen and have to try not to look at the male.

Definitely agree that if a guy has a big collection of only specific actresses it's problematic

No. 271715

>>271637
Anon unless you’re under 5’0, 120 pounds is a fine weight to be at. Your family sounds like they have body issues and are projecting them onto you.

No. 271716

>>271637
>my mom who spends criticizing my whole body

I see this a lot about farmer's moms on this website, my question is how do you stop yourselves from getting angry back at them?
If my mom treated me this way I'd probably neg every single bodily flaw she had until she stopped shitting on me.

Are you from a culture where you can't talk back or something?

No. 271723

>>271709
Nta but this is such kind advice. Thank you.

No. 271724

>>271716
My mum emotionally bullied me growing up, I had an older brother that could assert himself and be aggressive towards her to put her in her place. Horrible that it ended up like that. If I talked back to her I would get the shit beat out of me. I asked her why once after a pretty horrendous altercation and she told me simply because I was a girl and smaller she could do this.

Unfortunately some women are complete insecure bitches and can't even share affection with their offspring. I hightailed it the fuck out of there at 18.

No. 271730

Omggg. I handed in my two weeks last Thursday. I had approved pto for Monday, Tuesday and Wed of this week. Well, woke up today and one of my friends that works there says my name has been grayed out. I tried to sign into my work email and it says my password has been changed two days ago. These bitches don't want to pay me for my days off. I texted my sup, playing dumb, but I'm 99% sure I've been dropped. It was just a shitty customer service call center job, but still! I am starting a great HR job for a corporation in August, so they can suck my dick. My supervisor acted so surprised that I got a job like that and I was kinda insulted. Like, I have a degree and have experience… I was working with hs drop outs (not to sounds like a snob) and didn't think I had potential. I'm not worried about money. Tons in savings and got a check from school because I'm completing my 2nd degree. Just kind of taken aback. Supervisor hasn't texted me back and it's been 2 hours. They fire people by locking all their accounts and then telling them after they come into the office. Like, just tell me now.

No. 271734

>>271709
Thanks anon, it honestly made me feel better.

No. 271792

File: 1532543462391.jpg (10.59 KB, 480x360, hqdefault-1.jpg)

My ex took his new girlfriend to Disneyland a month after he took me. I'm the one who liked Disney, he doesn't even like it that much.

No. 271814

>>271730
Ignore this. It was an office error. Lmaooo

No. 271819

> text qt I hardly know that I'd like to see him more often
> he invites me to go on a bike trip
> turns out he mistook me for someone else
> offer to leave but off we go
> spend day together, have fun
> talk about relationships, he's not yet over a breakup
> have some beer until bar closes, he escorts me home, hug for goodbye
> slightly drunk text a little afterwards
> he says it was a "beautiful day and a beautiful confusion"
> I apologize for being the wrong person
> he says I delivered because he didn't have any expectations other than friendship
> still have his jacket
> next bike trip few days later, give jacket back, hang out for several hours

That was 5 days ago. I haven't heard from him since.
I'm infatuated, I want to text him but I'm still kind of embarrassed that he thought he was meeting someone else?
Was he only being nice? Did he only want his jacket back?
He told me he'd be busy but well, that's what I tell people I don't want to see either.
I really don't want him to think that I'm desperate.
I hate it when guys try too hard while I'm not interested.
Fuck emotions man

No. 271830

I feel so alone… I wish I could have a boyfriend, I'm not-social neet and don't know where I should find one, or what sites I should visit. I don't want to use dating stites.
There is gonna be anime convention in my area, and that would be a nice chance to find some friends at least, but i don't want to go here alone. I don't know what to do, I'm crying every night, I just want a hug…

No. 271832

>>271830
Anon just do it. Go out alone, it will only feel awkward beforehand. You will be thankful once you are there because that is how you make progress and get to know people. You will feel so great afterwards because you left your comfort zone and did something and probably made some friends! Do not only the con, go out and do sports, join some clubs, go back to university, whatever - leave your comfort zone and you WILL meet people! Dooo ittt!!1

No. 271835

>>271832
Uh, but i'm awkward af, and i will be alone when everyone will be with someone and probably i will stand somewhere and just freeze. I just ended my first light relationship and I feel like i'm gonna die if i don't gonna go meet some people… i feel so lonely, b-but thanks anyway, i will try my best…

No. 271836

>>271830
Definitely go to the convention. Drop into some of the activities/panel presentations/etc. that you're interested in and talk to some guys there. Or hang out near vendors/artists that sell things related to series that you like.
Alternatively, talk to some of the artists about their work. You won't seem awkward for being alone since it's one-on-one anyway.

As for other times, just visit the mall or some local stores and scope out any qts that work there. Then just ask them out/drop your number and get to know them through text. Generally, men are less frightened by women approaching them since we aren't a physical threat. And if he says no, just avoid that shop.
That's my plan, anyway. I'm asking out a guy this weekend using this technique, so I'm not a hypocrite at least.

No. 271839

>>271830
Go drunk. It'll be easier. Thats what I always do.

No. 271841

>>271839
I have been drinking a lot recently because of depression, but my liver can't take it anymore, i throw up every time i drink so yeah.. that was only one thing that helped me chill, but thanks

>>271836
thanks for the tips, i will try them! and good luck for u too!

No. 271861

File: 1532558464730.gif (495.62 KB, 500x270, 1489022871552.gif)

>go on google looking for a specific image of a cute children's character
>come across a disturbing image of said character
>read article attached to it, it discusses how there's disturbing videos on youtube that trick children into watching by using their favorite characters in a convincing thumbnail.
>Their nature is similar to those awful bootleg Elsa/Frozen games
>the reason people make them is because it generates them a lot of ad revenue because kids are always clicking on them, and they make them disturbing on purpose to avoid copyright stuff and just for kicks to fuck people up
>hearing all the stories about traumatized kids reminded me of an awful memory of when my older sister had shown me a creepy miffy or/hello kitty? Halloween animation back in the early 2000s involving them vomiting from eating too much candy.It traumatized the shit out of me

It's dumb to think about now as an adult but when you're a kid, seeing that kind of thing is the worst
I hate the internet sometimes, it's too easy to find disturbing stuff.

No. 271862

My boyfriend of 5 years doesn't want me to study abroad next year as an optional part of my uni course.
I'm going to do it regardless but he's making me feel like shit. We're going through a very rough patch and he says that if I wanted to fix it I'd stay in the country.
The only reason I can even go in the first place is because I've finally convinced my dad (who made me stay in our hometown and hasn't let me move out for the 2 years I've already been at uni) how important it is to me and my future.
I know things have been difficult for my bf and our relationship but he's not even happy for me.
He makes me feel guilty for being glad that I've finally gotten through to my dad, and if I tell him that he'll most likely say I'm guilty tripping him and imply that I'm selfish. He'll say it used to be about us, about living together, and that now I don't care about him anymore.
I'm so close to finishing it with him but I don't even know how to. We're not naive high school kids anymore, our relationship can't be the only thing in our lives.

No. 271903

This summer has pretty much been the most boring time of my life and i’ve spent it all in bed just feeling depressed. I realized it was so bad when during the week vacation i took from work i didn’t shower or leave my house for 5 days. I moved nearly a month ago and haven’t even unpacked or painted or done anything, i don’t have the energy to even walk my dog anymore or go anywhere. I’ve been trying to go out with friends but they’re useless and always have excuses i asked a friend to come with me to this beach two weeks from now and she was just like “ No i can’t i probably have plans already “. It’s always something like that with them, the only reason i have friends is honestly to be social but that’s honestly not working out with my current “friends”. I just wish i had someone i could call on the spot and we could go out that very moment, it takes months of planning to just go to a restaurant with the 4 friends i do have and some of them don’t even have jobs so i really don’t get it. This happens every summer to me, and honestly i need to do something to change things up but i have no idea what. I’m just really tired of being bored and depressed all the time.

No. 271906

>>271862
anon, he should be proud that you’re proactive about your life and future and you want to enrich it by studying abroad. that’s something that lots of people only dream of doing!

to be honest it sounds like you’re on a higher level of emotional maturity than your bf. he seems insecure about you being on your own and finding joy in life that’s not 100% focused on him. it sounds like you already know all that though. put yourself first always, anon. (i know it isn’t the advice thread but i wanted to congratulate you on the exciting plans and let you know your complains sound justified)

No. 271938

>>271862
Please go.

My husband pulled the same shit when we were dating and not going is the biggest regret of my life.

No. 271947

I'm trying to find a dog to adopt and it's getting discouraging. Either I'll get to the end of the page and it'll say "Sorry, no couples." or "Sorry, families only"
OR a dog that's perfect for me with no restrictions is still advertised yet already taken.
I'm in Japan too so I'm waiting to get through an adoption just for them to say "Sorry, no foreigners." at the end.

I just want a dog.

No. 271956

I gave this guy from work my number, and we went to high school together so he's not a stranger by any means. In highschool he was one of the cool, funny kids. Not the most popular but normal and likeable.

At work I would flirt with him and what not, which for me doesn't mean a whole lot, since I like meaningless flirting and I naturally have a flirty personality.

Once I gave him my number though I realized that I really wasn't in to him at all, but i feel like I've lead him on at this point, and I feel bad. I'm a very passive person so confrontation is hard for me and usually if I change my mind about someone I just slowly stop speaking to them.

He's constantly asking me if I would ever hook up with him (which I always just avoid answering or just give non answers to), and today I was off work and wasn't responding to him super fast or anything, so he text me, questioning me why I wasn't texting him back fast since I wasn't at work. I told him I was busy, because I was. He responded asking what I was so busy with. I didn't text him back, my phone was in my bedroom, while I spent time with my family and then showered, so he proceeds to call me. I didn't answer it but still it's super weir, to me that he would call somebody because they didn't answer his text.

We've only been texting for a few days and his behavior is kinda weirding me out. Like I said before in highschool he was normal, and he's a decent looking guy so he can get girls and I'm sure he has females attention.

Idk maybe I'm just used to friends that I only message a few times a day, and his behavior is normal and I'm just over reacting.

No. 271959

>>271956
if youre uncomfortable with him dont force yourself to take it further. we arent obligated to answer our phones. put him on block and if he starts pestering you at work, speak to hr. if he is in the way of your productivity at your shared workplace, then its an issue for the company.

personally he seems really pushy and youre obviously uncomfortable with all of this

No. 272038

>>271956
No, that's not normal. Clingy after a few days is serial killer tier.

No. 272084

>>271938
Why would you marry such a person

No. 272086

>>271862
I think you should inform him that you're going (and I mean inform – do not seek his approval, do not seek his permission, do not seek his opinion). I mean you're not even living together in the first place. If he doesn't listen to you, and is not happy for you, he does not respect you. Simple as that. You sound emotionally mature enough to handle this anon, I believe in you.

No. 272088

>>271956
Dude sounds like an utter asshole. Pushy, not boundary respecting, probably somewhat predatory. If you want to go for it that's up to you, but I would stay away.

No. 272098

Today I had a really ''off'' day, ate way over my calories, stayed up way later, slept during the day, was too depressed to move, didn't tidy my room up.

I eat healthy, exercise and keep a tidy environment as a way to keep myself in check so not only do I feel guilty for eating a lot etc but I'm also scared what this means for my mental health

No. 272117

I DON'T WANT TO CARE ANYMORE YOU ARE A SHITTY PERSON JUST LIKE UR GF AND ALL THE TIME I'VE SPENT BEIGN A GOOD FRIEND TO YOU MEANS NOTHING I HOPE UR HAPPY YOU FUCKING CUNT

No. 272126

The only people I have talked to in July are my bf, my ex and my boss on the phone.
I wish I had more friends but it's even harder to meet new people now I'm 30. It feels so bad.

No. 272133

>>272126
Was the same for me, am 31. Went back to university, joined sports clubs and started going out/partying again. Now I have a shit ton of new acquaintances, friends and possible lovers. Go out and do stuff, you are never too old and people are all the same, as in, they also want new friends.

No. 272135

I want to drop out of uni (long story - in short, I chose the wrong profile in high school and now I can't study the major I want bc I lack the basic stuff that was taught in those 4 years. I don't know if I can learn everything now because it's kinda late).
I could do well with a minimum wage job for the rest of my life, I don't have children or animals so I only need to support myself. On the other hand, my whole family would reject me (both my parents have uni degrees).

No. 272136

>>272117
lol who hurt you anon

No. 272145

>>271956
>>271959
>>272038
>>272088
Thanks for the advice anons. Sometimes I can't tell if I'm overre and making a big deal out of nothing or if I actually have the right to be weirded out or upset.

I think I might just start ignoring him though, last night at 2am he called me repeatedly untill I woke up. Once I was up I kept declining his calls so I could try to text him to see what he needed. He texted mad telling me to stop hanging up and just talk. And that he just wanted to hear my voice.

No. 272146

File: 1532611143850.gif (719.65 KB, 400x225, 1532135688052.gif)

>alone at home, my family went in another city for a week for the holidays
>only working two days this week so I have plenty of free time
>planned to invite friends at home and chill at some point and had a phone interview scheduled, also wanted to go shopping because I didn't have enough free time to do anything these past few weeks
>suddenly became sick, passed out yesterday right before my job interview and right after, threw up and I still can barely eat
>the job interview turned badly because now my phone doesn't work anymore all of a sudden so I had to reschedule it and I'm sure I gave a horrible first impression for sounding like I was dying on the phone
>too scared to go out to do anything now, even going to the doctor because I'm alone this week and nobody can help if I pass out all alone outside (which happened to me a lot before and it's terrifying)
>mfw I thought I was finally healthy and that shit happens at the worst time possible

No. 272155

>>272145
run nonny lol! you dont own him anything. that is an awful way to treat someone. and if this is what he is like before a relationship, it would guaranteed get worse if you two hooked up. i hope the best for you though. i had an ex like that and it was an awful period of my life i try very hard to forget.

No. 272156

>>272145
ABORT MISSION ANON, JUST ABORT. FUCKING. MISSION. block and avoid!!!

No. 272190

I want to quit smoking so much but stress from work and my weak will make it impossible.

No. 272230

>>271938
>>271862
same here. for me it's my boyfriend and my father who didn't let me go. i graduate uni this fall and never got to do a study abroad. i always wanted to go to europe, specifically germany. i hate myself so much for it that i literally think about it everyday and if someone else mentions it i get super envious and fall into depression for like a week and it makes me want to kill myself.

my boyfriend doesn't want me to go because he is very clingy and controlling, knows i love a certain country very much and doesn't want me there by myself. my father also is paranoid about letting me go to europe because he thinks i'll get sex trafficked ??? (like in the movie taken). however, he is completely fine with me going to (and i have multiple times before) a developing country by myself.

so instead i've been planning & saving for a trip to europe for next spring instead. i'm almost 23 and feel like i'm too old to travel and missed out on something great in life (studying abroad), so i want make up for it while i can. if my boyfriend and i are still together at that point i will go with him, and if i'm not with him anymore i will go by myself :)

No. 272236

>>272190
I quit smoking cigarettes two months ago ( not long but it feels like an eternity in smokers days). Tbh, I didn’t even want to quit, but a coworker gave me an extra vape to try.
I’d recommend the ”juul” pen. It has a similar bite as a cigarette, with about 80% less chemicals. It’s not the healthiest alternative, and it’s not exactly the same feeling you get with a cigarette, but it’s a great bridge between cigarette addiction and freedom.

It’s pretty cheap too, so maybe give it a try anon! I wish you all the luck.

No. 272244

i got a vape to help with smoking cigarettes too much but my neighbors kid stole my vape and juices and now im out of about 400$. got the vape back but its broken. im so upset.

No. 272253

TLDR: I'm considering contacting social services on an ex-friend because she's potentially hooking while heavily pregnant because she thinks shes too above going on the dole + I'd like advice on how to go about it.

If people reply with questions about details I'll happily answer cuz I honestly do not know where to start.

No. 272255

I’m kind of aggravated because I have a $1000 bill from an emergency clinic visit at the beginning of the year. I asked my mother to give me the information for the insurance company I was under and it took more than two weeks to get the phone number from her. To make things worse she’s also the type that takes my mail without telling me about it, so she also had a letter from the insurance company dated from March about my visit to the clinic.

No. 272257

>>272230
Girl just go. It's normal for parents to be paranoid and you and your bf will most likely break up eventually anyway.

No. 272265

I keep watching some instagram makeup videos and jesus fuck how much foundation do they wear, also like 4 shades too light. They pile so much on I feel like the stuff will crease if the move their face jesus

No. 272315

im 20 years old still dating the same guy I was dating when I was 16

I dont have a job nor any job experience

I havent registered for classes yet

Im pretty much snorting laxatives to stay 'thin' at this point

and all i wanna do is buckle my cat in, buy a large cheese and ham pizza from Dominos, get a hotel room and eat the entire thing

instead im stuck waiting in my overpriced apartment for my boyfriend to get home from an eight hour shift he VOLUNTEERED to take on his first 'weekend' in ages

plus hes mad at me, because I havent yet bought groceries and as a result can't pack him dinner

No. 272319

>>272315
I hope you're not venting about your bf as if he's done anything wrong… get a job before you complain about him taking shifts or expecting you to help out with cooking and groceries.

No. 272325

>>272315
sorry for samefagging the anon above, but get a fucking job and sign up for classes already. then when you come home tired and stressed out, you'll understand why your boyfriend doesn't have time to run errands and asks you to instead. i know it sucks that you can't sit around and binge/purge all day playing with your cat, but grow up.

No. 272330

>>272328
nta but your post is retarded. fucking get over yourself. if you don't like being a housewife fucking stop and get a career, otherwise don't bitch about putting yourself in this hole in your "expensive" apartment.

No. 272332

>>272330
Wow, really wish i could delete my entire post

No. 272336

>>272332
well good, you sound like a whiny bitch. it's super obvious you're young and have been dating him since hs since you haven't had the chance to fall on your ass and grow.

of course you're free to bitch, but you sound so bitter and entitled. own your decisions and be grateful for what you have or push to make a change.

No. 272337

>>272328
Well you did sound like you were mad that he took on an extra shift to pay for the overpriced apartment.

If therapy to get you functioning on some level is too expensive look for online CBT courses.

No. 272340

>>272253
Look up the human services or child protection office in her area, and say you’d like to make an anonymous report about the safety of a child.
Give them the details without being judgy. (Eg Say ‘engaging in unsafe sex work’ not ‘she’s hooking’ )
Don’t make the report unless you have no doubt that she is engaging in behaviour that will harm the child.

Tbh, if she’s not shooting up, smoking, and is using protection when having sex, and most importantly, once the child is born it is not exposed to the mothers sex work, she will likely not be subject to anything more than a parenting class. Seems inconceivable but the baby may not be harmed (at least in a manner significant enough for a very, very overstretched system to remove them)

No. 272373

File: 1532655752728.gif (449.2 KB, 500x281, giphy.gif)

I fucking hate my damn home. I don't want to be here anymore, I feel like I'm going crazy.

I got excited thinking I'd get to move out and live with my older brother or cousins but noo I'll be forced to share an apartment with my aunt, the worst person I've ever met. I just can't win, ever.

I feel so depressed I just want to sleep all day and be left alone. I almost lost a job interview yesterday. I'm just wasting my life, really.

No. 272375

File: 1532655948836.jpg (8.59 KB, 293x172, 4567783443567945232.jpg)

I'm going to have to break up with my boyfriend because I think I'm actually a lesbian instead of bi. It kills me on the inside because I love him and when we're together he'll say stuff like "I can't stop thinking about you" and other cutesy stuff I guess and I just…can't seem to reciprocate that anymore. We still have sex (only just came to this realization a few weeks ago) and it feels good, but I don't know how attracted to men I really am anymore.

No. 272378

File: 1532657551552.jpg (42.92 KB, 500x501, DbIFd-IW4AYiIpx.jpg)

>after 5 evaluations with different doctors asking me everything about my personal life, finally get appointment to a psychiatrist (im in a shithole country idk if this proceadure is normal or not)
>see them today
>20 mins of talking
>20 mins of them telling me that if i see her as often as possible, plus two other doctors, i might get diagnosed in about a month at the very least
>mfw i don't know how many more doctors i'm supposed to tell that i was raped and bullied my entire life till a bitch gets a diagnosis

No. 272383

>>269962
I’m incredibly unhappy in my 12 year marriage and life in general. We got married when I was 19, we have four kids. He’s turned into a functional alcoholic, gained a ton of weight, nothing I say or do has changed any of this behavior. Can’t leave, financially dependent. I haven’t worked for 6 years, and have a single college class left to take but can’t afford it right now. Trying to get a job to get some sort of income flow, but with no child care can only work extremely limited hours which is proving hella difficult. I feel stuck and worthless.

No. 272384

>>272383
Go back home to your family, take the kids too. Leave now and don't feel ashamed. He will work on himself if he wants his happy life back.
If family isn't an option then just slowly build a savings until you can leave. You can do this though

No. 272389

>>272383

hey, if you are looking for a way to make some money (even if only a bit) try selling clothes on poshmark. a friend of mine was in a similar situation, she was completely financially dependent. she goes to goodwill/other cheap thrift stores daily and buys clothes for $2-$5 a piece and resells them for anywhere from $20-$500, depending on the item of course. she usually makes over 2k a month, so maybe you could do that to start saving up for your class. i'm sure there are guides online that tell you what brands to look out for, she makes a lot of her money off of reselling jeans. look on the nordstrom website so you know what kinds to buy. idk if this is helpful, but just thought i'd try and help!

No. 272390

>>272315
I hope he dumps you, you sound like a horrible bitch. You don't work or go to school or, from the sound of it, do anything at all, yet it's so ridiculous for him to expect you to pack him a dinner. I don't blame him for volunteering to take an eight hour shift, you sound like a worthless cunt

No. 272391

every couple of months i get super suicidal for no reason. about two months ago i got super suicidal, but didn't do anything as usual. but now i'm going to psychiatrist over this >>272378 , but i don't feel suicidal anymore. i feel like a faker but it gets really bad and then it just goes away. one of the docs said i might be bipolar. which makes some sense but at the same time i don't feel suicidal right now and they keep asking questions about my depression and suicidal thoughts but they're gone now and idk even know what to tell em and they keep pushing about it but i'm blank currently and i'm scared its gonna fuck my diagnosis because i'm talking to them as if i was stilll in that bad place but i'm not and if i say i'm fine then theres no reason to help me.

No. 272392

>>271835
>>271835

well, it's an anime convention, I guarantee there will be maaaannnyyyy people there even more socially awkward than you. plus if you make a fool of yourself you never have to see them again

No. 272440

i posted on a vent thread about a month ago, about my boyfriend basically making me uncomfortable with his relationship with another girl.

i left for a week shortly after this, and he went out drinking with this girl and her friends. he cheated on me and wasn't going to tell me. i feel so betrayed now. all of his/our friends knew, and not one of them was going to tell me. they were going to pretend it didn't happen to cover for his ass. i'm so hurt. i've had terrible anxiety my whole life, awful relationships (everyone i've ever been with has cheated on me), and i feel lost.

i've been going to therapy in hopes of soothing my anxiety. i would get so worried about my (now ex) boyfriend, i felt like i was going to push him away from how much i hate myself, and i was making a lot of progress in therapy and now i feel like i'm back at square one. two whole years of my life feel like a lie. he's not the same person i fell in love with, and i think that makes it harder to get over this. i feel like i can never trust anyone again. i don't know what to do from here. i have no idea what direction my life is headed, i don't know my purpose. he was the one thing i thought was a sure thing in this life.

and now…i just don't know. i see nothing in my future. my whole life changed because i left town for one fucking week to visit my dying grandpa. i'm glad that this happened now and not later, but it hurts so much. i know in my head that getting away from him is a good thing but my heart hurts so bad. i just don't understand how i can't ever be enough.

No. 272443

>>272440
Are you the one whose bf went over her house to play beerpong and got drunk and touchy Feely but you spoke to him about it? I figured that was going to happen when I read the post about you having a long conversation w him and him giving you "reassurance". That sucks, anon. You should be thankful he cheated and is out of your life. He is disgusting garbage that you'll be better off without. He's not worth your time or your tears.

No. 272444

>>272443
yep that was me! can't believe anyone remembered haha. it's awful cause it happened so soon after that. i feel like a dumbass.

i totally know i'm going to be better off–my heart is just hurting a lot right now. taking it day by day, i have some great friends to help distract me!

No. 272456

File: 1532674795562.gif (430.86 KB, 500x375, 7Ea.gif)

>>272440
I'm so sorry anon. Your ex and all of his friends are gigantic pieces of shit. Like that other anon said he's not worth your tears but that doesn't mean you still won't be hurt. I've been going through a bad breakup too and all I can say is that you need to take this time to focus on yourself. Embrace your emotions and allow yourself to feel bad, but let yourself be happy too. Try to find a healthy balance of distraction as well as processing your emotions. What are your hobbies? This would be a good time to really pour yourself into them. I would also recommend finding something new to do outside of the house. Go to the library and get some interesting books, volunteer at an animal shelter, go on some nature walks. Do something that breaks your routine. I hope you have some close friends that you can go to that aren't affiliated with those assholes either. Spend some quality time with them too.

I wish you the best anon!

No. 272458

>>272440
Anon I'm sorry all of this happened and I hope you get better but it was pretty naive to think a 2 years old relationship was something to last forever if you didn't plan marrying and did plans for the future together.

No. 272537

I realized I might have been making myself the victim in situations I’ve been hurtful towards others. Or just generally overlooking how my actions and words effect others. I assume I’m on the same page with others because they never correct me but idk.
I don’t have any friends anymore so maybe I did do something wrong. I’ve been told I’m rude… By an abusive person whom I’ve never trusted. Maybe she’s lowkey gaslighting me, maybe thinking she is the bad one is proving I have a victim complex?
I can’t believe I’ve gotten this far in life (early twenties) without ever thinking about my character. I can’t tell whose the crazy one here. I need to go outside more often lol.

No. 272592

I really hate unflattering sweaters. The ones that aren't big or long enough to be baggy and make you look small and cute, but still big enough to skip your waist and rest on the largest parts of your body so you look naturally wide.

No. 272640

>>272458
that's the thing, we did talk about getting married. we did have plans for the future. and then i leave for a week and come back and my whole life is different, he's a different person. it's fucking crazy haha

>>272456
thank you so much for this response it was very thoughtful and i appreciate it a lot. i hope you're doing well!!

No. 272693

My job is super short staffed right now
So some people are getting little boost promotions
This one girl has been crying about wanting to take on more responsibilities and to be a shift leader
She finally got a key and code and literally told me three days after she's moving back to cali with her family

like wtf why did you accept the key then??? It literally could have gone to someone else whose actually going to be here.
She's so two face telling people she wants to move up then turning around and saying oh please kill me and cut my wrists I hate this place

Her mom is the reason she's moving back to cali…all for some dick!
The whole point they moved cross country was because of her moms super obsessed stalker abusive boyfriend they were trying to get rid of
Then she met another man in cali and is like wow let's move back to live with this man I barely know
Like the girl is 20 she can make her own fucking decisions

But ugh her whole family is just irritating me

No. 272704

>>272693
well, just take solace in the fact that after she leaves someone else will need the mini-promotion. she and her family sound like a big mess though so it's not like you and your job are losing out.

No. 272715

>>272537
At least you’re acknowledging it. Most people like that stay in their little fantasy world on how they’re never wrong. So good for you.

No. 272729

my younger sister knows I haven't had a job in 2 years and is aware I'm struggling yet doesn't think to notify me of a place looking for people, instead she applies and gets a trial with them, she already has a job, why couldn't she tell me about it?

No. 272737

>>272729
…why is your YOUNGER sister responsible for finding you a job???

No. 272747

>>272729
anon, finding you a job isn't anyones job but you're on. grow up and do it yourself.

No. 272784

>>272729
yeah it would've been nice and thoughtful if she remembered your situation and gave you the tip before applying herself…but the whole point of favors is that they're beyond what you're obligated to do. If you want someone to do you a favor and then get butthurt when they don't do it, you're being entitled.

No. 272789

I got myself banned from CC, and though it isn't popular here on LC I really enjoyed posting there. Now I'm too nervous to email in a ban appeal since I did sort of bring it on myself.

No. 272834

>>272789

same thing happened to me, i appealed and admited that i acted like an absolute retard but that i meant no harm. they lifted it and i'm very thankful because i did posted something super stupid. took a few days though.

what did you do anon?

No. 272843

>>272834
I responded to some guy's bait from the kc raid. It was just the usual "muh women only like chad" nonsense, but for some reason I felt the need to have fight today. Mostly because he insinuated short men can't find love and I love short men so much. I was t r i g g e r e d.

I'll probably end up messaging them about it and promise not to take bait again.

No. 272929

so, I think im probably going to kill myself probably next week when I go home to visit my parents so that my dog will not be alone.
> no friends
>hideous, bordering on obese with zero motivation to stop eating complete shit every day
> horrible personality and am constantly filled with rage over the stupidest shit and I can't let it go ever
>I cant get over my ex who dumped me half a year ago for another girl
> I go to a shitty university and will never be able to get a decent job and will be living in debt for the rest of my life
> i'm completely socially inept
>I am alone 24/7 and sometimes go days without talking to anyone else
>can't get a simple job like retail or restaurant because I have no experience (yes I have applied for many and have gotten denied for every one)
>my insurance sucks and doesn't cover therapy so I cant afford to go
>basically I am just wasting my parents money by continuing to live
so, I have zero reason to live except for my dog who I cant even take good care of any more because I am too afraid to take for a walk in public. I am disgusted with myself

No. 272941

>>272929
These are all terrible reasons and can be rectified by improving your life. You can tackle each thing one step at a time. These are all tiny things. For example the job thing. Where do you live that you can't get a retail job? A good way in is at Christmas, there is always seasonal work and they are much less fussy who they take.
You can lose weight easily by just reducing daily calories. The thing to do is change your attitude about food. Think it's all boring and is there to provide me sustenance only. You can eat good and bad food if you want, nothing is off limits and it's all just energy. Don't buy foods you binge on. Buy similar healthier options. Your dog needs you and loves you and doesn't care about the walking.

Why are you alone all the time? Why don't you join clubs and short (fun) courses? You can spend time with people and maybe make friends.

With the therapy thing you could try online therapy? It is better than nothing. I haven't tried it but maybe something to try.

Also who cares about your ex? Remember men are devoid of any real emotion. It's like being upset about being rejected by an emotionless void. It's no reflection on you but a big reflection on them if you were treated badly. Plus getting another man is pretty easy now with the internet. Though I think you need to focus on your own happiness and not making someone else happy right now.

All these things you CAN improve on yourself and it won't even take too long. I lost 20lb in a year by just slight calorie restriction, no exercise and changing my attitude about food. Also look into ways to make yourself feel good, such as a new hairstyle, different clothes, cute accessories. Buy some cute art prints online and put them on the wall. Get a new bed spread, a new rug, try new beauty products and makeup. There are lots of ways to help your mind and body to be healthy and happy.

As well as losing 20lb, I was also heartbroken and a bit crazy because of a guy, and thing that helped me included: Learning about sociopathy and gaslighting techniques men use on women, adjusting my viewpoint on him to the real rather than the ideal that I created, learning about how women are treated by boyfriends and potential dates with stories online (such as comments on Instagram and dating screencaps) and also observing men you are not interested in online and seeing the patterns in their behavior. Sorry for the book but I want you to know these things can all be improved and it can all change within a few years. I also recommend hobbies and projects so you can learn and look forward to the progress as you improve in skill and knowledge. Choose something you already like and progress from there

No. 272953

my fucking upstairs neighbors keep walking with their elephant ass feet and shaking - LITERALLY SHAKING - my fucking ceiling. they also let their entire brood of children out to scream in the parking lot and play on this rattly old scooter that grinds against the pavement.

i've never wanted to leave a burning bag of dogshit on the doorstep of anyone's place so fucking badly, before. ever since they moved in, they've been nothing but noisy and rude. i hate them.

No. 272958

>>272929
you can change! shit might be terrible but it's possible to change if you try. I know that's so much easier said than done and cliché but it's true. have you tried going to a temp agency? someone there can help you get a job. also you're in university, even if it's not the best they have resources to help students find jobs. maybe there's some kind of work study you can do… at the library or cafeteria. I know universities have tons of jobs for students.

I think getting a job or more hobbies could help you, feeling stuck can be so fucking depressing. especially doing the same old same old for years…I totally get how you feel because I've tried to kill myself multiple times since I was a teenager. I still think about it a lot too. it sucks

No. 272997

File: 1532754438617.jpg (130.62 KB, 1024x758, 7385400706_0f8e470a29_b-1.jpg)

I'm really depressed tonight. For variety of reasons but the main reason is that I feel completely alone in the world. I live with my parents currently…but something is so wrong and different. I went away to college out of state for 3 1/2 years and came back and everything has changed. I honestly don't know how to articulate it but I feel as though my dad is a completely different man than the one who raised me. He is angrier, more bitter, he treats others terribly. It makes me so fucking sad because him and my mom are the only two people I have in the world, every day they get older, and every day I feel like they drift further and further away from me. And so then I avoid spending time with them, and that just makes me want to cry harder because I know that in a decade or two they will no longer be here and I will regret having these thoughts and not spending as much time as possible with them. I have no friends, I haven't had an actual friend in about 5 years, so my parents are the only people in the world I can talk to but it never helps anymore. It just makes things worse and they truly don't listen to care about what I have to say and it feels like everyone talks over each other and doesn't care about anyone else's feelings in this house. Which sounds dumb and melodramatic but it's just constant discomfort.

Something about this just makes me feel so heartbroken. I look back on my life even ten years ago and it's like my family was completely different and we were all close and we understood each other. And now there's just nothing there. I watch my dad get angrier, more racist, more hateful every single day and it just exacerbates my feelings of loneliness and hopelessness. I don't want to make this political but in a way it partly is. It's like I've lost my dad to propaganda, fox news, and conspiratorial facebook posts or something. And if I bring this up he just yells at me and threatens to kick me out. He knows certain things he says and talks about upsets me so he goes out of his way to say and do those things and he never used to be like that. He would never do things just to make me upset or uncomfortable. I just want to go back in time but even thinking about the past makes me so sad that I can't put it into words but it's the worst feeling I've ever felt.

I don't know what to do about anything. I don't know how I'm going to survive one more year feeling the way I do about everything. It's like I can't handle the smallest things without having some sort of crisis where I question everything and everyone in my life and I just don't know. sorry if this makes no sense/sounds pathetic.

No. 273030

File: 1532768544067.jpg (82.94 KB, 500x500, things will be ok.jpg)

>>272929
As much as a website like this would have you believe otherwise, being a jobless fatty with anger issues and a student loan isn't the rock bottom that merits killing yourself.

Could you at least wait until after you're finished with your degree to declare that you're unemployable?

From one fatty to another: You either gotta lose weight, or stop giving a fuck what other people think. You can't be both fat and self-conscious or you'll never live your life or do anything. No wonder you feel like shit, sounds like you go to class, wake up, eat, go home, and go to bed. You should be able to walk to the park with your doggo without worrying about the literal whos that are judging you (not that they are or even give a fuck).

No. 273044

>>272135
Update bc I need to vent: so I decided to drop the major I'm studying right now (literature) and this year I'll try to learn maths so next year I'll apply somewhere else for computer science. If I get in well, if I don't it's ok

No. 273127

I'm trying to support my bff because she has been a lot through life and he family are a bunch of assholes and while knowing she has issues from all those experiences and trauma,I can't take it anymore

Last week she tried to commit suicide after arguing with the latest prick she decided to have a "relationship" with(it's pretty complicated shit)and while she claims she did this because of her general feeling of shittiness which I totally get,a part of me starts to believe she did this to "keep" him.I mostly believe she did this subconciously,but still I find this behaviour extremely juvenille

I havent seen her or talked to her much since her attempt,not only because a lot of shit went down during the week,but also because im very tired of this situation.It's different guy,same shit rinse and repeat.And this one must be one of the worst cases of guys she has since he seems "smarted and more charming" than other guys she has dated,and despite all that went down,she seems totally infatuated.I've tolarated lost of weird shit regarding to her crushes,but if it was someone I didnt know for half of my life,I would probably make fun of her sappy instagram posts and irregular attitude which is something Im very sad to admit to myself

From what I have gathered the dude is a manipulative jerk who is wants to hide his insecurities with a chill,know-it-all attitude.Only the fact that he made an account on a dating app after he broke up with his wife and hooked up with my friend must say enough

At this point they both seem to manipulate eachother willingly or not and the have a jolly of a time being together.I dont know what to do anymore since I pretty much promiced not to say much on my friend's choices after the attempt and I'm pretty emotionally drained.I've been overwhelmingly stressed by my friend's attitude the past couple of years and I got my share of issues too.I just hope she gets to go to the free therapy sessions I found for her(and hopefully will work for her) and finally realises how abysmal she acts and gets her shit together.I have been feeling distant from her the past few days and it feels like it's not the person I know anymore somehow.However this has been harmful to me too and I should stop taking her problems so personally

No. 273151

File: 1532801019664.jpg (15.67 KB, 275x202, 1479699012537.jpg)

>work at retail superstore
>new hire joins the team
>woman in her 50s with no experience but nice
>whatever, people learn on this job all the time
>teach her basics of job, it doesn't stick
>someone else tries, still no dice
>even more people after try to teach her
>still fucking clueless
>six months later, still asking questions and can barely manage the simplest of tasks
>still polite to her, but avoid her at all costs
>she tells people in other departments that I don't like her and I'm mean to her
>it's true I don't like her but I internalize that shit, I've never been mean to her
>learn she bitched to my boss because I had more hours than her
>gosh, it's almost like she wants to give hours to someone who is actually productive
>eventually bitched to someone higher up about how we don't let her do anything and no one taught her how to do the job
>THIS BITCH
>boss now has to babysit her and hold her fucking hand through tasks given to her

I'm so fucking done, I can barely stand her existence let alone having to directly interact with her. Everyone else on the team has to work harder because she can't fucking do anything.

No. 273152

>>273151

>it's true I don't like her but I internalize that shit, I've never been mean to her


If she was able too see you don't like her, it probably wasn't internalized at all

No. 273155

>>273152
I agree, sometimes I think I'm hiding when I feel bad, but people still notice

No. 273157

File: 1532802935919.png (344.73 KB, 687x663, I Wanna Kill You.png)

>>273151
I've got a similar trainee at my work, except she's rude, slacks off, and is a habitual liar.

It's kinda fucking tearing the department apart, because everything she does must be redone and we just can't seem to get on the same page about how to bounce this bitch. She's sucking up hours that our part-timers need for food money, we might lose good workers just to give this dumbshit "a fair chance."

No. 273162

File: 1532803909994.gif (982.65 KB, 500x364, 42e.gif)

Drinking alone on a Saturday night.

No. 273167

Having to read something like this on here (especially if it's not in a weight related thread) pisses me off so much.
>"I stupidly wish I could still be fully functional whilst staying 40 kilos."
>"dont let the normalization of fatties hold you back"

Why are people on lolcow like this? Hating fat people is "a thing" if you're a 7th grader, but still thinking like this in your 20s?
I know many girls who starved themselves as teens, but all of them matured. So why is every 2nd farmer still into looking like Snejana Onopka?

No. 273172

>>273167
Holy shit, 40 kg is really tiny for a girl of average height.
For very short girls maybe it's possible, but don't say that anything above that is normalizing fatties lmao.
Wew.

No. 273173

>>269962
>>273151
The good news is that if your manager is actually decent at managing, they’ll fire her ass after realizing her levels of incompetence.

No. 273175

>>273162
Me too, but that's honestly my favorite thing to do at this point. Are you content or sad about it anon? What are you drinking?

No. 273176

I hate myself. I have an annoying recurring problem that can be treated with otc stuff. I have been taking the meds as directed and after a few months of no sign of my issue being present I thought I finally got rid of it. Nope.

I have had it since I was a teenager, I have done this countless numbers of times. The smell of the medicine alone makes me throw up now but I force it down anyways.

I've been to the doctor about it and both times they were clueless (different doctors.) One said they'd find out if I had it via a blood test when the actual method is well…not fucking that. The other was just "oh you have and stomache." No I don't.

It's just tiring trying to take care of it and have it come back no matter how careful I am. I'm at the end of my rope. And the best part is I'm seeing someone now and I don't feel right not telling him at least (it's not an sti or std/ anything of that nature.) And yet I'm scared to cause what if it grosses him out so badly he just stops talking to me.

No. 273180

>>270382
Nooooooo nope, throw out the whole boyfriend. If he wants you to communicate with him he needs to meet you half-way and if he can't do this for you then you shouldn't count on him to come through when it comes to dealing with something truly, emotionally damaging. It sounds like he wants you to do all of the work in those situations and solve it yourself so he doesn't have to because "emotions are stupid things girls have and emotional support is haarrrdddd". Christ, my blood is boiling for you.

No. 273187

>>273175
Not really sad about it, I enjouy it, but I'm kinda ashamed I guess, I wouldn't want my friends to know about it. I mainly drink red wine.
I also have a tendency to drunk text which I hate.

No. 273191

>>273173
Yeah, I need to be patient and stop assuming that my boss doesn't have a plan. I'm getting a big head and I feel that it's causing me to squander the trust he gives me.
>>273187
Boy I know the feeling, although weed is my kick. I get all anxious about the volume of my voice, so I'll find myself saying the same thing over and over again, just trying to figure out how loud I'm being lol. Nobody ever says anything to me, which could be really really good or really really bad.

No. 273198

>>273195
To think that this is the kind of person who makes fun of cows on this site for being fat. lol

No. 273200

>>273198
I don't do that. I only post in /ot/ and /g/ because I need somewhere to talk and I want to be anonymous. I don't have any other outlets for the reasons I stated and I just needed to vent. You don't have to pile on and make things worse.

No. 273201

File: 1532811043016.jpeg (12.08 KB, 250x250, 969A4104-9714-46E4-9F9B-ECED38…)

>>273198
Yes, because every anon on this site is the same person.

No. 273202

>>273195
See a therapist and fix your social anxiety. Even though you are able to fix your food issues, there will always be a chance they make a return if you don't bother trying to fix their underlying issues. It's never too late to make a change, go on a high protein diet and start exercising. You are still young and there's a good chance your body is going to "snap back".

No. 273210

File: 1532813203788.jpg (40.33 KB, 500x341, http://41.media.tumblr.com/124…)

I have been in literal love with a bitch ass gay for YEARS, but I'm not interested on him let alone a relationship with someone, we are just best friends, I love him very much but I'm also sexually attracted to him.
It really pisses me off that he goes: Oh I'm so gay and proceds to fuck and date men only, but then he goes.. "anon I think I really like women.. there is this girl and she.." I want him to stop, idk why it makes me so angry, perhaps because I thought I was the only woman he has ever liked and I don't want my delusion to be broken?
Also the thought of him not being attracted to women always consoled me as one of the reasons why things worked out between us.

No. 273212

I actually wanted to reply to the anon who deleted her post, because I'm in a similar situation:
>gained 60lbs in the past 7 years (a good portion of it "thanks to" binging since I started Uni nearly 4 years ago)
>as a result my body is full of stretch marks
>no friends, horrible anxiety
>go to class and work, but never talk with anybody
>be stressed + sad = eat more
I eat a whole pack of potato chips nearly every single day (or rather night). I either "steal" them and other snacks from our kitchen (I still live at home) or even purposely use a bigger bag for uni so that I can stuff it full of food on my way back home. Sometimes up to 5 drawers in my room are just filled with trash until my parents are out for a whle and i can go and throw everything out. Even right now as I'm writing this I'm eating. Just the thought of not getting to eat makes me sad.

I'm tall and therefore naturally got stretch marks due to growing quickly, but I still remember noticing getting ones on my hips due to weight gain as well and thinking that I should at least moisturize more. This was over 3 years ago and I still can't be arsed to do so.

I constantly think of wanting to change my life, but I somehow can't. I just try and eat better etc, but never even make it a single day until I "quit" again.

Living like this has made me socially stunted. 3 days ago a very nice girl in my class talked to me and asked me something. I answered and immediatly looked on the floor again. After a while I looked up and she was still looking at me, waiting for me to talk more; she must have thought I 've had a stroke… On the one hand I simply didn't expect anybody being interested in me, but on the other hand, talking seems to get really difficult for me, because I'm so out of practice.

No. 273222

I stood up for myself against one of my manipulative/abusive friends for once and while my anxiety was skyrocketing during the conversation I feel good that I won't have to talk to that person for a while or hopefully never again

No. 273224

>>273210
Holy fuck anon, pls love yourself. You know it's never going to work if he's really gay.

No. 273236

>>273212

There's hope anon. I struggled with binge eating for over 15 years and truly thought I'd be be stuck in food hell forever, but I've finally broken through the endless cycle of trying and quitting. It is difficult but you can absolutely change.

No. 273275

I despise my parents so much.
My dad is an emotionaly instable mild narc 80 year old that hoards his trash all over the flat, including what was supposed to be my bedroom, and believes in anything the internet says. His latest obsession is with a scammy kabala online "course", when I tell him that kind of shit is not real he acts like a toddler putting his head down and closing his eyes and screeching with a high pitch that he doesn't want to hear it.
My mother is a woman-child of 50 that thinks she's still a teenager, has an Indian online "boyfriend" that's so not a scammer and "really loves her",she means sexting, is incapable of providing for herself and ghosts me when I asked something she doesn't like.
I asked her yesterday about how come they bought an expensive ass bed when I was very little but neveer thought of buying me my own bed, I had to sleep with her 'till 18, after silence for 24h I messaged her it was okay if she couldn't talk about that but she didn't have to completely ignore me. Her response was that "I don't like to talk about the past and this is a very hard to digest topic", what a cunt.
Like it isn't hard for me to digest that even when there was money enough for it she never thought I needed a bed or room of my own, the bitch even used part of my savings.
I hate this, I want to have inteligent and capable midle-aged that are close in age and work in stable and sensible fields like teaching at the Uni or finances.
;_;

No. 273285

File: 1532830922515.png (264.61 KB, 651x554, huuuu.PNG)

>>273275
>kabbalah
>inb4 JEWS
sounds like your dad might also be feeling like a fool and knows you're right about it being a scam. Still pretty immature though.

She had you sleep with her til you were 18? Was your dad in the same bed??? Sheesh sounds like Margo & Venus… actually your mom shares some similarities with Margo! Anyway, sorry to hear that anon

My vent is I have had a really long day (stressful work day, trains were late, caught in rain, slipped on floor, etc) and all I wanted was friends to hang out with but I don't have very many and only 2 that live near me, one of them is out of town and the other never responded but it's okay

Tomorrow's another day

No. 273290

>>273285
He actually converted to a bunch of religions, Judaism included.
>Sheesh sounds like Margo & Venus
Tbh I avoid those threads because seeing the parallels creep me out

I hope you have a better day tomorrow anon, and maybe meet more reliable friends close to you.

No. 273300

File: 1532835528617.gif (1004.15 KB, 500x278, ABD7E02A-B829-41B8-BF7E-53BBB8…)

My family (including me in my younger years, not anymore thoughh) has always been overweight and borderline obese. 4 or 5 years ago my parents started keto to lose the excess weight, but they’ve stalled majorly because they can’t get it through their skulls that calorie counting is needed to lose weight. They believe that the keto diet is some magic recipe that means you can eat as much as you want and never lose weight. Anything that isnt meat, cheese, eggs, and a non-carb loaded cegetable is ultimately unhealthy and literally will CAUSE your fatness.

I lost a lot of weight my last year of college when I moved away and started eating less due to stress. I came back and everybody poked fun at how thin i got and joked about me having anorexia and going on a crash diet. when i argue to them about calories, they never have any real rebuttal when I told them I got down to 120lbs by eating instant noodles and toast. Whats the magic there?

They have such a weird relationship with food too. And I have to be the one to hear about it. Waaaaah we’re going out to eat as a family but i want my keto options! Every family dinner is to the same damn steakhouse or bbq joint. We can never experiment with new restaurants and if we go somewhere on my or my fiances birthday the whole time they are bitching about us fucking up their diets and how we are bad influences. I tell them they can just watch what they eat and still eat something good. Then they just condescendingly laugh in my face. Yet they are still overweight and have just been maintaining said weight for years.

The case of fruits is interesting. Sometimes I tend to binge when I’m upset. I still live with my parents but i still buy things like varied veggies,fruits, and high fiber breads for myself because I actually feel good eating that and not just bacon and spinach salads or whatever. When I binge, i usually go for the houses hoard of cheese and pork rinds. Gross I know. And thats how I end up gaining weight on some months. Binging on their ‘magic food’. But when I mention my weight gain, it’s all because I eat things like apples and bananas as snacks.

I’m the fittest and most athletic person in my family, yet everyone acts like everything regarding their stupid diet is 100% correct when they have no real evidence to prove me wrong. I’ve followed their stupid diet before and I still gained because i ate too much and binged out on super high calorie things like cheeses and heavy creams.

No. 273301

I know it's stupid, but I go through times where I feel aesthetically inferior for not being (fully) white. It just seems that men are only attracted to white and preferably blonde women, or those women are at least seen as top tier to all men even if they find women of other races attractive. And I just can't achieve that look. I can succeed in every other way, but my skin will always be a bit too brown and my face always vaguely ethnic. I've tried to trick myself into thinking I'm white-passing, but it's just not true.

I don't even think woc are ugly, or women from (half of) my own race. I've been very attracted to women of many races before myself. I just know that for a majority of men that's not true, either because of genuine preference or some weird status thing. I hate it.

>inb4 you shouldn't care what men think

I know, I know.

No. 273302

>>273301
just try to redirect your focus to your type of beautiful :)

No. 273306

>>272375
>love and enjoy sex with a man
>think I'm actually lesbian
what

No. 273307

File: 1532840896746.jpeg (93.5 KB, 720x960, 2D1427D5-72D3-4110-BE72-3708CF…)

>>273300
My BIL and his gf came over the other night going on about how they start keto next week and saying it’s gonna be so hard to eat healthy. Ten minutes later this 1000 kilo/165cm girl shares a Pinterest recipe for keto fat bombs she’s gonna start snacking on.
Things are about as calorie dense as a chocolate truffle.

I pipe up cause I’m an idiot and say it’s all just calories etc and they just give me death stares and start in about how they’ll starve.

Ten minutes later, they’re complaining that there’s no ice cream for the pudding and looking up bacon based breakfasts for their “diet”

No. 273314

>>273307
>>273300

Whats with the people doing this diet, and why do they get so cultish about it? Its usually only the super fatties losing a lot of weight because less access to potato chips, soda, and ice cream worked in their favor. My step-sister and her boyfriend are on it now. The other week I watched her snottily picked out each diced tomato from her salad and make a big fuss when her toddler offered her a single sip of lemonade like her whole diet would be ruined in that instant. Meanwhile when she invited me to dinner the night before she drowned everything, from the chicken to the vegetables, in butter and made a pudding that was basically all cream cheese and heavy whipping cream.l for dessert. I follow CICO and I always have to skimp on breakfast and dinner when i eat over because her dishes are just huge calorie bombs.

No. 273316

File: 1532844795117.gif (2.88 MB, 500x277, 3D64C93B-A2AA-4405-886F-7DE478…)

In an LDR atm and havent seen my SO since December. We won’t be together again until November or December this year and its really eating at me lately and I’m getting so damn sentimental about everything. I’ve been nannying for a nearby family, and have been watching the movie Coco nearly every day for the past week. The kids love it and its one of the few modern kids movies that i really enjoy. Mostly because me and SO saw it at the theaters and have good memories attached to that day. It sounds stupid, but the ending number and the song in the credis legit get me teary eyed because it all just takes me back to the things i took for granted like grabbing his hand and talking about whatever while walking through the parking lot. Its amazing how you can miss those little details when you cant physically be with them…

No. 273317

>>273307
>they just give me death stares and start in about how they’ll starve.
Why do fat people think they'll starve if they don't eat for 10 minutes? The whole point of fat is to use it when there's no food available.

No. 273325

File: 1532847269254.gif (584.94 KB, 294x219, unnamed (1).gif)

>mfw i just wanted to see a movie with hot guys making out and ended up crying my heart out

My soul is empty.

No. 273326

>>273325
call me by your name?

No. 273327

>>273325
what movie? and how hot were the makeouts?

No. 273329

File: 1532848457843.png (310.29 KB, 485x381, 7082a3edde4ddba2d2f5c35135d769…)

I relapsed now I want is more pills

No. 273331

>>273327
Maurice, it's a rather old movie. The final scene crushed me.
There isn't a lot of hot scenes but young Hugh Grant plus male nudity made it worthwhile. Good story also.
And after that I saw a really old french movie where one of the boys ends up killing himself.

>>273326
Never seen it, is it good? Looks like the screenplay was written by the same screenwriter of Maurice.

I'm looking for good BL movies but many of them involve tragic stories pls no more crying

No. 273333

File: 1532851391463.jpeg (20.11 KB, 390x280, D4FDC7AA-43AB-4E2A-8D30-572E48…)

>>273317
It’s especially stupid because she was thin like five years ago and ballooned up from like 55 kilos to 100.
I suggested they eat 500 calories below their tdee and her exact response was ‘yeah but that’s like a big mac’

Wow starvation. Not my circus I know, but so annoying now that family dinners will always require some comment about the carbs in the potatoes whilst slathering greens in butter and salt.

No. 273341

Yesterday I spent half an hour shaving 3/4 of my body because we were going to the beach. Today I woke up at 8 am just to be told that the plans got cancelled.

No. 273356

I feel so useless and unproductive… I have a friend who knows a shit ton about history, has a PhD in mathematics, is well read, knows a lot about a variety of subjects…

Meanwhile I waste my time playing video games and browsing reddit/lolcow. None of my hobbies do anything positive for me, they're just time wasters. i feel like a huge waste of time.

But I can't concentrate on books, I'm not smart enough for math/physics/chemistry, I don't have any productive skills… I feel stagnated and just… Empty and inferior to her, and to my other friends who talk about politics and philosophy.

I want to be better but I don't know how. How do I get into something that has some actual value? What can I do to not feel like such a waste of flesh???

No. 273357

>>273341
You can go to the beach by yourself. It's not the same as going with a group of friends but you can still get some sun and a nice swim

No. 273371

>>273356
Do you have a job or go to school, anon?

Politics and philosophy are both very broad subjects, so you should be able to find some parts of them interesting. The internet is free, and there are tons of resources that teach you about these subjects.

Instead of feeling sorry for yourself and wallowing in your own self pity, you have to start making productive changes to your life. It's not very hard:

1. Find out what topics you are interested in.
2. Learn about these topics. It's not like you have to spend hours reading, there are tons of interesting documentaries out there.

No. 273383

>>273356
Learn all about those topics and then you can see if your friends are talking out of their ass. Likely if what they say makes no sense. Don't confuse talking about something with being an expert at it. >>273371
This

No. 273425

I'm really fucking depressed lately and I know it's because I'm lonely and have nothing to do.
Uni only starts in a few months and until then I can only sit at home, do chores and walk the dog. I have no hobbies and the friends I have don't give a shit about me, whenever I try to make plans with them they cancel last minute or make up excuses.
Doesn't help that I spend most of my time online and I'm afraid I'm gonna develop a crush on someone I've been talking to recently. It just adds a bunch of unnecessary anxiety because I keep being afraid of coming off as annoying or being a burden.
Emotions just suck, and I want it to be fall already

No. 273535

>>273356
If you can't concentrate on books, try audio books and podcasts. You can put them on while you're cleaning or cooking and learn things.

Also gaming is a time sink. IMO just find a better hobby. Literally anything else.

No. 273540

>make online friends with other awkward shy people
>all is good, common interests, have fun talking as a group
>three of them over time reveal to be negative insecure people
>they make fun of people's looks or accomplishments other people have and can never be happy for others
>target me with occasional petty passive aggressive "jokes" because i'm always friendly?
>eventually call them out to stop (i'm friendly but not doormat-friendly) and they act innocent like i'm overreacting and pretend it's nothing
>make plans to meetup with someone else from the group
>we have a blast, both of us look nice, we dressed up for a nice cafe, no awkwardness at all, overall a great time!
>friend shares pictures from our outing
>the "jokes" from the three stop ever since then
>one of them can't stop awkwardly bringing up in a weird bitter way that i'm "thin and pretty" to the friend i met up with
>later find out two of them are the short, chubby, and conventionally unattractive and the third is the same but lanky
I don't even know how to feel tbh. I just find it a whole other level of pathetic that they probably stopped targeting me because they discovered I'm "thin and pretty". At least the other friends I made are awesome?

No. 273571

>>273301
i'm also mixed and have similar feelings…if you don't mind me asking, what are you mixed with?
being a mutt has always made me insecure about my appearance. but i have never envied white women specifically, much less blonde haired ones. i just envy fully white people or mono-racial people in general. i feel like as a mixed person i've never had a community to run to for support, or a group who will fully accept me. i honestly just wish i wasn't mixed, or that my non-white half was something besides what it actually is… (of course that's just me thinking the grass is greener on the other side; every variety of mixed person has their own issues)

one thing i've struggled with in particular while being mixed is dating while having a racially ambiguous appearance. i've had a lot of guys (white guys, usually) be attracted to me because they assumed i was some ethnicity that i'm really not. but when they found out what i really am, they became less interested in me or even became disgusted by me. like every other race or mix is pretty, with the exception of mine and what i'm mixed with.

there's nothing wrong with having certain aesthetic preferences. but it's a shame that someone like me can't be seen as attractive without someone interrogating me about my background, and letting that determine how they feel about the way i look.

No. 273577

>>273425
Maybe try getting a summer job? Work is usually not fun but you don't have as much time to feel things like boredom and loneliness.

No. 273580

File: 1532898168853.jpg (244.93 KB, 1920x1080, assassin-s-creed-odyssey-ubiso…)

>>273301
I'm not mixed (well, as not-mixed as a person from the Balkans can be, since our gene pool is all over the place anyway) but I have similar feelings about it. When I was young I was an ugly duckling, with giant eyebrows, a bad tan, a big nose, a mouth that was a weird shape. I eventually grew into it and I like how I look now.
However, women who look like me simply don't exist in the media and every woman touted as beautiful has Western European features with a tiny button nose and full lips, or at the very least big tits and ass, of which I have absolutely nothing. To make matters worse I live in a country where the majority of women is very conventional-looking, blonde, blue-eyed, and they get a lot of tourists coming here just to get a pretty blonde Scandinavian gf. Men from my home country included.

The first time in forever that I felt like someone considered a person like me genuinely pretty and not just a face in the crowd or an exotic stereotype is when Assassin's Creed: Odyssey was announced and people started complaining that Kassandra was "too pretty to be a mercenary". I was genuinely shocked that anyone would legitimately think that since I grew up with the belief that I was too hairy, swarthy and haggard for any man to find me attractive and that the standard of beauty where I was considered good looking died literal centuries ago, to a point where I even saw people where I live now arguing that people from my country used to look prettier, fairer and blonder until the Ottomans came and "ruined" us and that we're actually just some immigrant mutts that moved there afterwards. Yes, seriously (FYI: that's bullshit).

I just don't get why I have to have light eyes and hair and a tiny baby nose to be considered pretty by someone. I don't think I'm ugly. I don't think my brown eyes are ugly at all, I like my hair, I like my nose how it is, I like my cheekbones and I like my lips. I like how my face looks, that isn't the problem. The problem is that some people seem to think that my looks are an issue that needs fixing, or something that Americans like to exploit for comedic effect. Yes I get it, xDDDD I have a big nose and a man face xDDDD. I look how I'm supposed to, and I just want that to be good enough for one decent person.

No. 273581

>>273540
>just find it a whole other level of pathetic that they probably stopped targeting me because they discovered I'm "thin and pretty"

Would it have made them less insecure if they carried on with their jokes in spite of you? It's probably because seeing your pictures made you more real to them and they felt bad for saying mean shit.
It would be pathetic if they had continued.

No. 273592

File: 1532900215101.jpg (21.7 KB, 300x300, tub-doritos.jpg)

Currently finishing up the last bits of my snack/candy stock since I want to eat healthier or at least like a normal person starting tommorrow.
I got an ED when I was a young teen and then spent the last couple years getting fatter and fatter, and more and more depressed; I literally waisted my entire youth because of it. I just want to be happy and feel like myself again.
I feel like this is my last chance, I failed so often already, wish me luck farmers!

No. 273593

>>273592
Good luck!
Will you be working out too?

No. 273595

>>273593
Thanks!
Yes, that (thankfully) will be easier for me, since I at least do enjoy running.

No. 273596

>>273580
If you look anything like Kassandra, you're gorgeous, anon. I live in a Northern European country as well and have struggled with some of the same problems as you have in the past, thankfully it feels like things are getting slightly better now and diversity is the new "trend". Hang in there, I'm sure you'll meet someone who can appreciate your beauty some day!

No. 273608

>>273167
Hey that was me! (The skelly-wishing op)
It was pretty funny unless they were serious and are actually that stupid.

Farmers are regarded about weights. Loads of tumblr anorexics migrated when thinspo blogs were getting reported and all the ancient drama with a few crazy attention seekers obsessively posting themselves and each other in /snow/. The proana scumbags threads drew them in and they stuck around being hangry and stupid.


Judging by the comments posted about weight here, every farmer is either so morbidly obese they’re immobile or a toothless, hairless, anorexic lich.

No. 273611

I've had people ask if I'm mixed on multiple occasions. I'd sort of get it if I had very unusual features, but I look pretty regular for my race, for the most part, so I can only assume they have some weird stereotype in their head about racial features. It's like some kind of backhanded compliment. I guess it's neat knowing I "stand out" somehow, but I don't like the thought of my cultural background being downplayed because someone thinks I'm "exotic" or whatever. Why can't people just accept that even monoracial people can be diverse?

No. 273614

File: 1532904811550.jpeg (33 KB, 625x350, 6E019D37-5036-4650-A044-00290A…)

I wish i wasn’t so terrible at holding a conversation. I’m so bland and hobbiless that I have nothing to talk about. And because I’m socially retarded I have no idea what to say in return. It’s even emotionally demanding making eye contact with people. I wasn’t meant for this world

No. 273620

I've managed to change my life quite a lot since last year. I've lost weight, started eating healthy, gotten into a hobby I enjoy and about to finish my education, basicly all those lifestyle changes I heard would improve my happiness, but here I'm still feeling just as shitty as before all this.

It just strikes me how life is completely meaningless, and all those things I've done to improve my situation are all in all just another distraction from that fact. Not a distraction like watching netflix all day and eating junk food, but still a distraction.

It's not like I'm planning to resort back to old habits because physically I feel a lot better. I'm not suicidal or depressed either, just very apathetic towards everything.

Life just doesn't feel like its worth all the struggles of maintaining a job, health, money, social life and all that.

No. 273621

>>273571
I'm half-white half-Indigenous (North American). What are you mixed with?
I've heard that from other mixed people before, about wanting to fit in with one single group. I can't say I've experienced it too much myself (until it comes to activism matters and I'm unsure if I should speak), but I can definitely understand where it comes from. Identity can be very important.
kek I've gotten the racially ambiguous thing a lot. People have read me to be everything from Lebanese to half-filipino. And though it usually gives me a chuckle, it also reminds me that I really don't pass as a WASP (the majority of people where I live) at all.
I think it's definitely stupid to stop being attracted to someone just because they weren't the race you thought. Unless it's due to stereotypes, it shouldn't change their perception at all.
>>273580
That sounds awful, anon. I can imagine the place where you live is even more strict about what's considered "white" and therefore "pretty" than here. And I can identify with having the standard of beauty you could fit in with being long gone, it seems even men of (half of) my own race, or who are also mixed like me, prefer fair women whereas it wouldn't have been like that per-colonization.
If it makes you feel any better, I always thought women with strong features were beautiful. Striking in a good way.

No. 273623

>>273614
Why don't you try and develop your interests and expand your hobbies? Find common ground with the people you talk to (like school or work). You can always talk about the other person too - like, ask them how they are, what they've been up to, and try to get interested in them and what they're saying.

No. 273625

>>273621
>>273596
Thanks for the replies anons, I'm currently dating a guy from home who's nice and didn't really come here to date for a change, and he finds me beautiful (or at least claims to) but his last gf of 4 years was a blonde local, as were most other girls he's dated here, and I can't help but compare myself to them.

The local women are strangely fascinated by my hair since there's a lot of it and they like the colour, and they're usually the ones who consider it pretty, but the men couldn't care less and either go for local girls or, from what I've noticed lately, Asians.

One guy thought I was French and was really into me until I told him where I was actually from. Then he lost interest when he found out I'm from a shithole with no running water in the evenings. So the whole 'muh preferences' thing is certified bullshit too.

No. 273640

>>273625
Sounds like they are interested in your money, make up your life history in their head and then are brought crashing back to earth.
Quite telling that their admiration is contingent on external factors. You should do a social experiment by telling them different nationalities and noting the reactions.

No. 273643

jane, suzu and bunny are all thots and i'm sick and tired of everyone on the mariah thread kissing their asses. they're so blatantly reading her threads then posting what they read on twitter, they're not even subtle about it. why do anons start clapping their hearts out reading them rehash the same shit. we get it. i'm tired of having to see their gross thot profile pictures everytime mariah farts and they post

>YIKES! Slutty cosplay is serious business. Mariah is fucking hitler and -

No. 273645

>>273581
>made you more real to them and they felt bad for saying mean shit
That could be it, I hadn't considered that. I read it as that if I had turned out to be ugly, they would have used it to make themselves feel better and continue with the jokes.

No. 273652

>>273643
Agreed, the asslicking needs to end

No. 273722

My dad's house burned down along with a lot of the city. Didn't have time to call him and make amends. He's missing now and no one's heard from him since the fire. Kind of wish I'd died in that fire. I keep checking social media for any sign of life but he's been silent and unaccounted for for almost a week. I wish I'd unblocked him or at least told him I was sorry for how things ended up. I haven't slept in around 5 days and apologize if this doesn't make a ton of sense, I just can't stop crying and don't know how to continue and survive past this.

No. 273744

I broke up with my boyfriend a few months ago. I'm 100% over him and I'm ready to move the fuck on and forget about him. I'm going clubbing with some friends, but I'm a little nervous because I've never been clubbing as a single girl. I was always loyal to my boyfriend and whenever I went out I rejected guys who tried to get with me. Now I don't have to do that and I'm a little nervous that I'm going to drunkenly do something stupid, like the only thing that kept me in check from being a hoe before was being in a relationship. I definitely don't want to have a one night stand or anything since I didn't even sleep with my now-ex and I want to keep my virginity. I definitely don't want to lose it to a rebound. But I'd be okay with hooking up with a guy as long as I don't full-on sleep with him. That brings its own problems though, like will a guy stop when I ask him to or am I going to be putting myself in a dangerous situation? I don't even know how to act with a guy I maybe just want to make out with or something since my ex is the only guy I'd ever been with and guys who aren't him are basically alien to me now. My friends tell me to just let go and have fun, but it's fucking scary. I need help.

No. 273752

>>273722
Anon, I’m so fucking sorry. That’s a terrible spot to be in. I hope things end well for you and your family.

No. 273754

>>273722
Jesus anon I'm so sorry I can't imagine… Honestly I don't know what else to say. I just wanted to express how much I empathize with you, and I sincerely hope you will be alright.

No. 273755

>>273744
just go clubbing with your friends like you used to. maybe flirt with guys but don't hook up. at least until you sort out exactly how you feel on the topic. definitely get used to being single around other guys before hooking up with anybody

No. 273759

>>273744
Just make it a personal rule not to go anywhere with a dude. I'm sorry about your breakup but it really shouldn't be that hard especially if you're a virgin! You can do lots of dirty things at a club, dance up close and grind and make out… Make sure to go with some good friends who will absolutely take you home or theirs if you really feel you can't control yourself, if not save your local taxi number. I've gone over 10 years going out clubbing and getting wasted and I'm still a virgin even when I go out alone…

No. 273772

>>269962
I'm about to move to a different city with my husband because his mother wanted to get an apartment with us. I told my husband how much of a bad idea it was and how much I dislike her (she's a narcissist and racist towards me as well), but apparently her needs come first. My depression has gotten worse because this and I've even talked to my husband about seeing a therapist to cope with having to deal with her for the next year or so, but he thinks I'm overreacting.

No. 273791

>>273772
I feel sorry for you. He won't magically change, and it won't get any better for you once MIL moves in. He's shown you that whatever his mom wants is what is gonna happen, and fully expects you to bear the brunt of the compromise - to the detriment of your mental and emotional well being. Get your therapy regardless of what he thinks and start considering separating from him.

No. 273807

been having weird health issues as of late like chronic migraines and intense pains all over my body. finally saw a dr today, where my blood pressure was 150/90 (it's usually 120/80 or below, as recent as 1 month ago). my dr was pretty concerned and ordered bloodwork done. the results are already in, 8 hours later, and i can't see my dr til wednesday. im dying of anxiety and ive been sleepless for weeks due to the severe headaches. i feel like death warmed over and im terrified something serious is wrong with me.

meanwhile my bf is being a total shitlord and flipped out when i asked him to unload the clean dishes at lunch so i could wash up, saying he does everything and is the only one who has a job etc etc and how stressed he is when i have crippling health issues and haven't slept more than 2 hours a night for a month, all i wanted was a little help for the housework that i'm too exhausted and fucked up to do. it's not my fault i can't get a job on my shitty visa, i would fucking love to work instead of being a housewife, i hate housework but i do it because it's fair. but god forbid i ask for him to do 1 thing when i'm sick. sometimes he's such a fucking crybaby, if he gets like 6 hours of sleep instead of 8 he'll just call out of work and sleep all day while im still expected to clean and shit on no sleep at all.

i feel so resentful and awful right now, if my health issues are bad enough ill probably have to go back to my home country for treatment because i have no health insurance here. sometimes i think it's for the best because im so lonely here. i'm in a shitty timezone so i hardly get to to talk to anyone online either. i feel so isolated like i have cabin fever and i dont fit in with the locals at all no matter how hard i try. i've been to a few meet ups and i just can't connect to anyone, even when we have similar interests.

No. 273822

I'm so fucking angry. Someone (a freeloader but that's another story) changed my Netflix profile to a child profile and I was told it's impossible to change back. I've had this account for years and now I've lost where I am in all the series I've watched over the years and all my recommendations. My only option is to create a new account.

This is a warning to anyone else who thinks this is a funny "prank".

No. 273830

I have to try and stop smoking weed and playing the sims you guys have any idea how addicting this shit is

No. 273831

File: 1532951355302.jpg (110.42 KB, 1280x720, 1532820918304.jpg)

Can Hiro stop fucking up 4chan for once? Jfc

No. 273838

I'm such a neet I don't even know where I could make myself some online friends.
plz send help, I haven't talked to anybody in a month.

No. 273842

>>273838
I haven't spoken to anyone except family in like 2 years anon it will be okay

No. 273868

>>273643
Fuck anon, I came here to post the same exact thing. Dear lord it's driving me insane how people in the Momo thread are kissing their buttholes like they're the saints of cosplay bringing in the justice. Bunny and Susu are obviously faking their lesbian relationship for neckbeard bucks. Jane is cringy and an obsessed a-log who's obviously riding the whole drama to get her name out there despite being just as much of a tacky, trashy thot as Mariah is. Nana is a drama queen who can't cosplay worth shit. And yeah, it's so obvious how they're lurking the thread and posting there. They're all godawful people who should fuck right off, including Momo.

I hate all costhots and I don't care if they're calling out Momo, they're not getting a free pass from me. They're still fucking up the cosplay community and being toxic ass cunts, I'm glad they love to eat each other alive and can't stop fighting about who's more of a whore. I had a great laugh when Sabrina was caught posting to the Momoakuma thread and trying to get her name taken off the Calves of Momo list and when Nicole and her BF were caught posting about Momo before they started leeching off of her.

No. 273880

>>273868
They all deserve to have a containment thread for costhot degeneracy and not just a calves thread for momo's offspring.
It has been a gripe with me too that Jane, Bunny and Susu all clearly come from the threads to frantically out Mooriah on Twitter/Instagram etc (especially Jane she is copypasta tier and has no sense of timing)
I genuinely find it offputting that pornmodels just parade around all ages cons because they have sfw booths or wanna have meetups etc. These arent people who keep a modelling job seperate from the cosplay community; they ALL directly promote themselves to the cosplay community for monetary support and exposure. Even companies sponsor these people while having no affiliation with porn/lewd shit, yet Suzu and others wanna sit on the white high horse spewing words like 'Erocos' and saying how they keep the bussiness seperate from the coscom / cons.

No thanks.

No. 273930

>>273822
Are you sharing your Netflix account with someone else? My boyfriend shares our account with his brothers, and if too many people are on the account at once you can't stream or something like that. As a way to kick us off so he could watch something, one of his brothers who had access to admin settings changed our profile to not only a children's account, but one in Korean. And it was stuck like that for days. I was supposed to be watching a documentary series for a college course too.

No. 273939

>>273930
Yeah, it's an account my mom set up so my siblings have an account and the freeloader is a relative my mom gave the login to. I'm trying not to be too angry because he wasn't to know it wasn't possible to change it back to an adult profile.

>And it was stuck like that for days

That's so annoying. So you got it back? I ended up deleting my profile and making a new one, since the staff said that's my only option.

No. 273943

>>273939
Yes, eventually we got the adult account back, because the brother switched back the settings when he was done. In the mean time I had to create my own account. The Korean childrens profile was funny for like the first 5 minutes, but after a while it just got frustrating and seemed passive aggressive, like dude we get it. Since that incident, my bf and his brothers have gotten in the habit of messaging each other when someone is using the account to prevent it from being overwhelmed and kicking us off.

I understand how frustrated you are about the freeloader too. Before I shared and account with my boyfriend, I was sharing my parents' account. I was dating a guy for a year, and after he broke up with me I realized he still had my login from the times that we'd watch stuff together on his laptop (he didn't have his own Netflix). There were movies and shows on my profile's history that me and my family hadn't watched, and I got this image in my head of him snuggling with his new girlfriend using my family's account. So I abruptly changed the password, which would have auto kicked him off. My mom called me and was like what happened to the account?? So I told her about him and she was pissed too.

Moral of the story, be careful who you share your account with and be mindful of who's account it is. Whether or not you're the owner it's better to just communicate & not fuck with settings or take advantage of your access to it.

No. 273948

Gonna start off with thanking lolcow for helping me get past putting up with male bullshit and just telling them like it is, thanks guys.

So I have a male friend that I haven't heard from in a while who started talking to me right before a breakup he had. He knows he has issues that make him overbearing in relationships, and now he's texting me with all of this "lol well if you know of any cute single girls" shit. I'm livid because instead of taking my advice to take a step back from relationships and seek out some fucking help, he's trying to hop back into the dating scene not five seconds after his breakup. Fuck you dude, get over your bullshit scrotal coping mechanisms and take steps to unfuck your life for once before you propel yourself into another failed relationship at Mach 20.

No. 274058

File: 1532993222551.jpg (10.47 KB, 202x202, aggretsuko-202x202.jpg)

I don't have a car for two weeks because some girl rear ended me while I was at a dead stop at a red light a month ago. When I call her insurance to set up a rental car they never get back to me.

No. 274075

File: 1532994446524.jpg (74.41 KB, 720x413, locadelbebito.jpg)

I am from a third world shithole where we are discussing the legality of abortion and the reactions of people are anything but empathy. On the one hand there is the pro life movement that says dumb shit (many seem not to have read a book of basic biology in their life) and they put religion as an excuse to say things like: "the women who do that are going to hell" and things like that, and the other side are the left parties that put their politics and are disgusting misogynists at the same time (support the pimps). Both thoughts do not realize that thousands of poor women die because of these practices and that is what we have to talk about, but they prefer to talk nonsense and fight.
If I die without rights it is because of these dumbfucks. (Sorry, my English is not so good)

No. 274105

>>273838
Try the friend finder threads on here and add anons, or post your own info and hope someone cool comes along.

No. 274108

I’m super annoyed bc my bf and I are moving in with a gay friend and he’s already ignoring me in favor of the friend to put on a good impression and it’s driving me up the fucking wall. It doesn’t help that the friend says (jokingly, luckily) stuff making fun of us for being affectionate together even though we are both bi. I’m so tired already and we haven’t even signed the fucking lease.

No. 274160

File: 1533001294238.gif (996.85 KB, 350x242, 1401371320974.gif)

I think some farmers who come into threads to tell other posters some mini-mod iteration of "STAHP POSTING!" are secretly also derailing and probably partaking in the arguments. Otherwise, it makes more sense to report the posts to let a farmhand take care of it. Telling farmers to stop posting/derailing/shitting up the threads never works.
They're probably too afraid to report the posts because they don't want to get banned too when they're guilty of the same thing.

No. 274163

>>274160
probably true. i feel like farmhands are really forsaking us lately though.

No. 274166

>>274163
They're too busy getting flooded by stupid shit reports in /pt/.

No. 274169

>>274166
Probably true, hopefully they'll hand out bans soon though. Whoever the fuck is just shitposting random quotes from anons needs a time out.

No. 274180

>pick up my favorite instant ramen (pork free tonkotsu-like base = holy grail)
>cook it and throw in other ingredients to feel less shitty about it
>check the packaging afterwards and realizing the whole thing is over 80% of suggested sodium intake
>tfw already preparing for the bloat and headache tomorrow by chugging water
The only good things are that it tasted good and I can only pick it up at stores thirty minutes from me so I won’t make this mistake again for many months.

No. 274184

My bf's mooch sister is asking him for money again and it makes me furious.

She thinks it's okay to ask us because we have a slightly higher quality of life that we STRUGGLE to keep up. We live paycheck to paycheck, and save what little money we get for nice things here and there.
Yet she swoops in with her food stamps, public housing, and welfare she gets out of having two kids while single and begs money from us.
Fuck her, seriously. She ain't working a 40+ hour week like we do. I'd bet Sodom she doesn't even work a 20 hour week. She gets government babysitting too btw, so it's no excuse.
We've got our own struggles and we're not rich, we're not even considered middle class. We make barely above the poverty line.

And I might forgive begging if she were putting in the effort to actually work and take care of her kids, but no. Her kids are going to be unsocialized brats because of her bizarre way of raising them re: never dressing them so they're constantly naked, keeping them in filthy conditions, and never setting up social play dates with other humans because she shuns anyone who she doesn't see as a piggy bank. If I knew her address, I'd call CPS routinely.

In the years I've dated my bf, she's never done shit for us. Meanwhile bf continues to humor her and the kids by sending gifts, money, traveling to see them, etc.
He's finally started to see the light though. I'm not going to stop pointing out how she only ever talks to us when it's when she needs something. She's never done shit for her brother, and treats him like a disposable daddy warbucks on tap.

Words can't explain how much I despise this jealous, opportunistic, greedy, lazy, entitled, bitch of a woman.

No. 274185

Recently I have come across this board: https://8ch.net/agatha/
It seems to be an entire board dedicated to orbiting and posting photos of underage girls. This is disgusting. There are even nudes being posted onto here. Why the fuck is it so easy for people to make boards like these and why are they allowed? The types of people who post on there seem to be from the r9k scene or at least related. More reason why 8chan is fucking trash and so are "orbiters."

No. 274186

>>274180
just drink a million water.

No. 274189

>>274185
Not saying I agree with a chan allowing this, but those girls are acutely aware that they have an online "following" and enjoy the constant attention pos or neg that they get from it. I can't feel sorry for them, and only hope that the consequences of sharing their nudes online don't follow them into adulthood after their pedo base has dropped them and moved on to the next fresh meat.

No. 274192

>>274189
I know that's not true because the girl that it is named after, "Agatha", who was underage when the orbiting began had to shut her accounts down because people were making fake porn of her. Same situation with another girl who is getting posted there who I will not name. Almost every girl except for a few had to disappear because of harassment from orbiters. But yeah it is fucked for those few that are enjoying this attention are degrading themselves so much

No. 274196

it really annoys me when importers put ingredient labels in english over the directions without putting english directions on the label. like now i have to peel off your shitty label to figure out how to use the product i just bought. what's worse is sometimes they do put directions, but they are totally wrong, like a face mask that you use for 1 minute with directions to use for 15 minutes. i'd hate to not know the language.

No. 274197

>>273316
i feel you on this one anon, i'm in an LDR as well. we're ballparking for february to meet next year and it feels like every day is a century. just hold on, we'll get through this!

No. 274198

>>274189
Yikes anon even if it was true do you have no empathy for the amount of grooming that happens because of these threads?
Most of LC is pretty aware of how the girls that do selfpost on the threads are lead into it with grown men who goad them to continue cause they don't instinctively know the horrors out there like we do.
Like >>274192 says, in most cases those threads arent girls selfposting ala June, but targeted cause some nerckbeards unhealthy infatuation with these girls immedietly spews over to those boards and shit like fake porn is made of them.
Thats really not healthy for a young girls mind to see, even if they posted a selfie or not on there.

No. 274212

I really want to speak more about the child neglect and abuse I had as a child but I feel I can't because I dont want it to make my family look bad or feel like an attack on my parents.

My abuse was more indirect and neglectful, not them physically beating me. But circumstances of my childhood changed who I am for the worse and I want to talk about it more openly

Things that fucked me up for life
>being homeschooled for almost all of my school life
>actually sexually abused by my brother which is complicated because he was also a kid so I'm not sure he understood how his actions could affect me negatively

No. 274224

>>274189
Anon why don't you tip this website to the FBI?!

No. 274227

>>274224
anon it sounds like all of the images are just fake. not trying to defend anyone but fake nudes aren't illegal, just gross.

No. 274231

File: 1533017629696.jpg (24.25 KB, 547x459, 1451842452327.jpg)

I've been dying for the need to make a connection with a person I could be a real friend with. I have my LDR boyfriend who I talk to all the time, but I feel like I need to talk to someone else.
All I want is a real conversation with someone. I have maybe one or two online friends but haven't talked to them that much as they are busy.
And irl I want to reach out more, but I have limited opportunity to.
I feel like I have the scarlet letter but for friendless instead.

No. 274234

>>274212
Child neglect is just as bad if not worse than physical abuse, but with neglect you might feel like it's your fault or guilty because your parents weren't "that bad".
You can't make your family look bad because they already are bad, don't protect their feelings when they didn't care about yours.
But I don't think you should directly talk to your parents about this… neglectful parents are emotionally immature and can't take any blame.

No. 274241

File: 1533021729393.jpg (23.54 KB, 736x717, 307fe1cbc3f86bd4ad83214e7de1d6…)

i'm just really low right now

>difficult class + lab all day 5x a week, then work open-to-close at sad retail job on weekends

>get into single-vehicle car wreck, ribs hurt like a bitch (but can't spare the $$$ to see a doctor)
>depression and mind fog
>no feelings of accomplishment or pride despite making A+'s and over perfect scores on hard exams
>studying takes longer than it should because focusing is difficult
>abusive boyfriend who doesn't love me but i can't bear to leave because then i'd be really, truly alone
>loss of interest in all of my creative pursuits
>wondering what the point is

the worst part is that i hate myself so i self-sabotage/don't take breaks/push myself to my limits just to see if i can. i'm up at 2 AM feelsposting when i should be studying.

No. 274246

>>274212
Same boat as me, anon.

My mother was emotionally neglectful and a complete narcissist. She made my teenage years a living hell, she'd antagonize me all the time and take out a lot of the frustrations she had with her kids (teacher) out on me at the end of her day. I'd be blamed for everything based on her mood.
It wasn't unusual for her to start verbal fights that sometimes got physical that would last upwards of three to several hours. It was so exhausting, and she would never leave me alone in her rages. Often she'd go full circle and pick apart every detail of my life and every problem she had with me before coming back to the original topic she started screaming at me about.
Yet she'd complain later about why I didn't seem to have a close, happy-go-lucky relationship with her like the mother-daughter relationships she saw on tv or with her coworkers.
She'd do shit like read my diary while holding me back, never taking my side or listening to my perspective (ie. called me a liar when I told her about my childhood molestation); I grew up knowing I couldn't trust her. I hated her and felt so betrayed.

However, she'd gush over me towards strangers and brag about my accomplishments to make her look good. Meanwhile, at the home she'd treat me so awful.
She gaslights me about it today, saying how I was so "good" as a child and how she's proud of my accomplishments. In typical narc fashion, she only acknowledges the positive to feed her ego and completely ignores when I was supposedly at my worst, or if mood-permitting she does admit it, our fights weren't so uncommon or "that bad."

Because she gaslights me, I feel like I'll never be able to successfully bring it up without looking like the ungrateful child attacking my caring, albeit strict mother who clearly loves me.

It sucks, and I'm sorry you have to deal with these emotions as well.

No. 274250

>>274246
>Because she gaslights me, I feel like I'll never be able to successfully bring it up without looking like the ungrateful child attacking my caring, albeit strict mother who clearly loves me.
That's really common with narcissistic parents, you could find a therapist that understand what's going on.

No. 274252

File: 1533026809360.jpeg (39.01 KB, 592x392, hmmm.jpeg)

>friend invites me to rock concert
>discussing what we want to wear
>she posts a few dresses that look a bit stuffy and too formal for the venue
>say I'm not wearing anything fancy, just a black dress and some makeup
>day of the concert
>wear black lipstick and eyeshadow, the black dress
>take a selfie before I go, tag her in the status
>it catches some likes
>she PMs me
>YOU SAID SIMPLE MAKEUP
>?
>no idea what she was talking about at the time, ignore it bc I had to go
>we meet up and she proceeds to mention again how I said we should both wear "simple makeup"
>her makeup was kinda shitty
>play along to not further upset her, "o haha i guess I got carried away" tho I couldn't remember what I said
>after concert go back to read conversation
>realize she misunderstood me when I said I wasn't wearing a fancy dress
>but I never said "simple makeup" so idk where she got that from

I feel bad for her because I think she felt that I had purposefully told her to tone down the makeup so I could look better, but that's not what actually happened. Didn't mean to come off as a bad friend, but I feel like she totally misread that conversation and I took blame for it anyway.

No. 274253

>>274241
anon, you said yourself he’s abusive, pls get out while you still can. being alone is way better than being with someone who wishes to harm you. give yourself some credit, you’re clearly a hard worker. if you’ve had the willpower to push yourself this far then i believe you can find that again and use it to get yourself into a better place

No. 274257

>didnt get my period for half an year
>get my period 4 times the last two month

Just why????

No. 274259

>>274257
Go see a doctor if you haven't seen one before for that reason. It could be a sign that something is wrong.

No. 274260

I'm feeling so salty right now but I can't explain exactly what happened because I'm fearing the person involved may read here.
Let's say I absolutely hate when people slut shame you non stop and bring you down for years and backstab you in front of all the people and friends you know just because you made some mistakes and dumb things years ago but you forgive them because you're as naive as that.
…Just to have that person nowadays doing the same shit you were blamed for (and worse) and making it seem as it's nothing to worry about, ''not that important'' and just having to laugh it off because now ''it's different'' and they get pretty defensive even if you ask something about it.

No. 274261

File: 1533034305187.jpg (70.69 KB, 498x452, 1496690781331.jpg)

>>274234
Thank you anon. Its true I often feel like it wasn't as bad as others situations, especially like anons story below in response to me. Its a difficult feeling because even though they are shit there were good times as well that can complicate your feelings. I think my relationship with my mom is way worse than my dad. She was quite selfish in a lot of ways. One was she wouldnt hold a steady job for long and my dad had to work so much harder so that we could live. Even then I grew up quite poor (only one persons income is rough) and am only realizing how bad it was. I read journals of when I was about 10 detailing about how we would only eat one meal a day. I asked my brother about it and he says he remembers eating condiment sandwiches.

Anyways my point was that because my dad was working so hard he just didnt have the time or energy to properly care for us and even though my mom was unemployed most of the time she was horrible at raising kids.

>>274246
Jesus I am so sorry anon. Your situation was really awful. I had a friend growing up that had a full blown narc mom. Mine was not really like that at least with manipulative habits. I sometimes think my mom might be narc but sometimes not, its really weird. She did a lot of incredibly selfish things that affected the whole family. But again she never was emotionally manipulative to me or verbally abusive or anything.
I think my mom was a mixture of mental illness (she was diagnosed depressed and was taking meds for awhile when I was a kid) and maybe not even wanting children in the first place. She homeschooled both my brother and I, and me from quite a young age. But actually didnt really do anything. So I didnt have an education at all. I havent graduated and its something Im extremely embarrassed about. She hated driving us anywhere, even places like the doctors. I got really really sick at times as a kid from tonsillitis and I had to beg her for days on end to take me to the walk in clinic (im in Canada so medical expenses arent as crazy as the US otherwise it would make sense because we were poor af).

The sexual abuse I had as a kid affected me in lots of ways Im only recently coming to understand. I became very sexually promiscuous and had a lot of boyfriends and sexual relations in my teen years. My parents just didnt really care. I wish they could have helped me out more after they found out. I told them and they did believe me thank god, but nothing really happened. They talked to my brother and that was it. I became severely depressed in my teen years and was showing obvious symptoms. Later I told my mom about it and got help on my own and she said "I thought thats what was happening!" Like um excuse me… you couldnt reach out to me and help?

No. 274262

>>274260
You're probably living the better life anon. It's one thing to be promiscuous because one is young and dumb, but adults who make the conscious choice to be after years of pretending like they were above it are pretty mental.

No. 274281

What's with the influx of summerfags bumping month/year old threads with no new information? The entire front page of /snow/ just now is all old threads that have already been remade.

No. 274283

>>274281
it's obviously a shitposter.

No. 274284

>>274281
Not only /snow/, /ot/ and /g/ are also getting filled with dumb threads. Like the new international thread in /g/ already existed in /ot/…
And people asking dumb questions that make it obvious they haven't lurked more than 30 minutes too.

No. 274285

>>274284 >>274283
I didn't actually read any of them until now and it seems like a bot tbh. Still annoying to be on mobile and have to scroll through dead threads.

No. 274286

>>274281
right now it's either a low IQ shitposter or a bot using predictive text because it's all gibberish and they're quoting random, nonexistent posts.

No. 274288

>>274284
>>274285
>>274286
all the boards have it. i went to meta to see if someone mentioned it and it's fucked as well. i think it's a bot.

No. 274295

>>269962
I finally lost the last of my friends, and it was more of a whimper than a bang which hurts.

>many friends move away for uni

>stay home for local college and work to avoid debt
>keep in touch for two years
>even send and receive cute physical letters and postcards
>gradually get less and less back
>friends now heavy into social justice campus groups
>now all nb queers
>post rants on facebook all the time
>didn't confront them, still talked like normal
>haven't gotten any responses in months

I guess it's all over, then. I'm finally heading off to uni in a different town but it really hurts to have no one to talk to that you know irl, even to send goofy pictures of things you see out and about.
>tfw still kind of in love with one of those girls
>tfw I don't even know if I can date without still holding out for her

No. 274305

>>274295
cheer up anon. it's really sad, but it sounds like they changed too much anyways. it's hard, but it will be okay. you'll find other people you have more in common with in uni.

No. 274308

I don't have dysphoria, but there's a posibility I might have PCOS or another hormonal problem. I've been told that I look like a man so much that I want to transition solely because of this. Even with make up I look like a polished turd basically, I don't know how to explain how ugly I am. I might pass better as a man? I would look like a gay boy at most but hey, still better than an ugly woman.

No. 274336

>>274308

I know it's rough out there for unconventional-looking women, but that sounds like a terrible idea. Are you willing to possibility fuck up your relationships and obliterate your dating pool? Would you be comfortable in male spaces? Can you deal with an enlarged clit and multiple surgeries down the line? That's a huge life gamble that will likely do fuck-all to fix your self-esteem.

No. 274338

File: 1533052755107.jpg (39.72 KB, 800x680, 1528477861265.jpg)

>>274308
me too, anon. me too.

No. 274339

>>274336
No… I was thinking to just dress as a man and find excuses why I can't follow treatment.

No. 274345

>>274339

Sorry for making assumptions and sounding harsh, I've just seen too many people rush into physical transition and regretting it. I don't really know what else to tell you other than I feel for you and hope things gets better someday.

No. 274353

I gained a lot of weight in the past 5 years, and I regret it because I used to be skinny, even when I was born the doctor said I was underweight. It started in 8th grade I think, with the stress of final exams I had an irregular schedule, but it was ok. In 9th grade though, I had a major breakdown and started binge eating. My grades were good, but it was impossible for me to adapt to the new school. Since then, everything went downhill and I have no motivation for anything. I'm a fucking cow.

No. 274356

>>274308
Are you straight? If you start dressing like a man it's going to get harder to find a partner. Assuming that's why you're so worried. If not, being a makeup expert and fashionable will do.

No. 274358

>>274345
Thank you.

>>274356
Yes, I'm straight, but I've given up on the idea to have a partner and I enjoy being alone. Being "fashionable" doesn't help because I always have a try hard vibe. I only look normal in plain clothing.

Though, I have another idea… to keep dressing feminine and pretend I'm a post-op transwoman. Ok, I'll stop posting on this thread by now.

No. 274378

Got told that Sneaky is better cosplayer than I am by a guy friend. Feel's good, anyway already feeling like I'm ugly, fat and unworthy of anything, just shitted on the least of selfworth I had. Even if it would be true I still wouldn't say that to anyone, I wouldn't want to put anyone else down for someone else. Why do guys do that, why is it okay to say someone's worth based on what your dick feels like.
Then again he is also my ex's friend so maybe he's being shitty because of that, idk

No. 274381

>>274358
As if people treat trans women better than ugly girls… Just stop being stupid and live your life. Pretending to be a man because people tell you you look like one would be fucking stupid.

No. 274385

>>274305
Yeah, I'm trying to be excited about graduating college soon but this loneliness is souring the experience. Thanks though, I'm hoping I will find a new group.

No. 274439

>>274308
>>274338
>>274358

I am also a PCOS ridded ugly motherfucker (to boot I probably have hipothyroidism as well, so I am gaining), and I've been in a steady 4 years long relationship. Pretending to be a man is just stupid, and you'll be even more miserable. If you find a man nice enough, they won't mind you appearance as much. Ugly people get in relationships all the time, just look at poorfags and reality shows, anon. Stop worrying about stupid shit.

No. 274442

File: 1533074170874.png (1.28 MB, 1098x1182, 1475407264963.png)

I returned yesterday to my flat.
We have been all away for a month and one of flatmates left a bucket of potatoes in one of cabinets, it's okay as long as I don't open it.
Tho it's been there for a month now and we're having huge heatwave now. Asked one friend to help me with it for a food, because I would most likely throw up before taking it.
It all makes me so nauseous, there is huge ice-block in the back of fridge so I also need to unfreeze it.
Reading about one family that died one after another because of toxic fumes from potatoes doesn't help.

No. 274445

>>274442
Lol, just throw away the potatoes at this point

No. 274446

File: 1533075024343.jpg (28.03 KB, 640x612, 1533040991089.jpg)

I want to get therapy/medication for what I think is depression, but I'm going on a student thing in Japan next year, and those with mental health issues aren't allowed to go. I would get online counseling, but when I signed up for BetterHelp, they basically sent me an email saying that I'm too fucked and need to get face to face counseling.
I can't really afford consistent therapy regardless though, the cheapest in my area is £50 an hour, and I'm saving for the money to pay for my Japan trip (£10k)

No. 274458

>>274446
>going to study abroad Japan when depressed
Welp that could either go very well or pretty bad.
Studying abroad is a lot of fun if the focus is not studying and rather going out with people and having a good time, but if you're going to attend actual classes with Japanese standards it could be tough, not to mention homesickness can hit hard.

I had a great experience studying abroad and I felt much happier and not like a worthless waste of space anymore by the time I came home, but at the same time classes were difficult and I was lucky to only need to pass a few to pass my semester or I would have not been able to enjoy it at all.

Sounds like a pickle of a situation, I hope you feel better before taking off.

No. 274509

File: 1533087185295.jpg (778.62 KB, 2048x1357, 1531300050720.jpg)

I'm highkey so upset, frustrated, and embarrassed about being a boring loser who's forever alone.

I just want to experience at least once being cozy with a qt long haired bf and cuddling in bed, watching movies together, having sex, listening to music, doing drugs, and feeling states of pure euphoria and calmness with him. Lmao I realize I sound like a reverse robot but holy shit am I touch starved and devoid of love.

No. 274515

>>274509
you don't sound like a robot at all. you sound like you'd be a lovely and appreciative girlfriend and i hope you find someone

No. 274521

File: 1533093049987.jpg (195.77 KB, 1200x1200, Di52EmSUUAAU03o.jpg)

Sometimes, I wish being THICC wasn't the new in

My friend constantly brags about how thicc she is by basically eating shit. She always brings down my size even though I'm quite comfortable with having a perky butt and being skinny.

I just don't want to be pressured into becoming thicc by a friend when i already get enough of that shit on social media.

No. 274537

my transcripts still haven’t come through yet so i can’t register for classes or sort out financial aid and classes are filling up FUCK i’m so stressed

No. 274542

>>274521
The only people that call themselves "thick" are fatsos.
Don't give in to peer pressure anon.

No. 274543

>>274542
>The only people that call themselves "thick" are fatsos.

Not really. And let me guess, you'd wish people would stop being so judgmental about your body type?

No. 274544

>>274543
No, my body is average and no one gives a crap about it. Stop projecting.
I just find the whole "thick" and "curvy" thing obnoxious.

No. 274549

>>274542
No, just women with big thighs/hips/butts.
>>274521
If you have a perky ass what are you complaining about? Your friend is clearly just jealous. You have the best of both worlds, I have no sympathy.

No. 274552

>>274544
You were replying to an anon who was upset that someone was making assumptions and pressuring her to change herself, and you responded with something equally as judgey.

So have a seat because you sound no less annoying.

No. 274554

>>274552
Calm down tumblr.

No. 274557

>>274554
You're obnoxious.

No. 274597

File: 1533115264044.jpg (Spoiler Image, 45.96 KB, 500x375, qqq.jpg)

ate too much today, going to have a fast tomorrow or at least fast for most of the day

No. 274599

>>274515
Oh wow that's so sweet, anon. Thank you!

No. 274600

>>274597
You're stupid

No. 274607

>>274597
God, can you put a spoiler next time?

No. 274610

>>274597
Because you'd rather eat a bullet than a burger?
…That's a good one. I ought to put that on a pastel shirt and sell it to you for $50.

No. 274613

>>274597
this photo is gross, anon.

No. 274618

I'm tired of thinking about how I look. If I'm skinnyfat, if I look old, if every man in the vicinity wants to fuck me, if my teeth are weird, if I'm built like a linebacker, if I'm making bitchface, if I don't look fashionable enough, if I'm not worthy of being around anyone else in the room, if my boyfriend checks out other women… I am just so fucking exhausted. I will go out feeling confident, only to catch my reflection in a window and feel like I should have never left the house.

I remember realizing in the 6th grade that I could be smart, talented, whatever, but it wouldn't be exceptional unless I was pretty. I don't even have more to offer. I hate having my photo being taken. I hate feeling this shallow and unsubstantial. I see 45+ old women grocery shopping in their sweatpants and simultaneously envy their ability to not give a shit and fear letting myself go at the same time. My clothes don't fit like they used to. I don't want people to look at me anymore

No. 274622

>>274610
I lol'd. You lil joke cracker

>>274618
> I see 45+ old women grocery shopping in their sweatpants and simultaneously envy their ability to not give a shit and fear letting myself go at the same time
This is life literally slapping you in the face trying to tell you that life goes on. You need to get over this problem you have and still have to do mundane shit without getting worried about being dolled up. Something simple like going grocery shopping isn't a fashion show and no one is looking at each other in places like that, they're trying to get their food and go home. You shouldn't be worrying either.
Everyone goes through it whether they accept it or not, everyone's going to age and get wrinkly and saggy. Just take care of yourself (this includes NOT stressing out over natural causes, mind you) and age gracefully. Just because you're an older woman doesn't mean you can't look good. Everything's going to be okay, anon. You can't stress out over it forever and you won't. Days go on.

No. 274748

File: 1533144716039.jpg (12.68 KB, 246x374, tumblr_ls632xqjkp1qk4s2co1_250…)

Bf seems to have no idea people can see what he likes on instagram and he's been liking some fetishy stuff that I guess most people would find disgusting.
And now I have to find a way to tell him that without him realizing that I'm following him from an old sock account that I don't even really use.

No. 274752

I keep an ex friend from highschool on my fb to monitor her antics. She's super entitled and uses her single mom status to beg for stuff constantly claiming it's the only way to solve x problem.
What drives me nuts is that she's offered help and reasonable solutions all the time, but she finds excuses and rejects them because she specifically wants people to give her money or buy her the things she's asking for.

Her latest shenanigan involves whining about how she needs a $400 washer and dryer.
Because she was transporting dirty clothes with her child's stroller, that was allegedly stolen, to her mother's house to wash clothes (1. Where and why would someone steal her gross stroller, 2. Why not buy a laundry hamper with wheels, 3. She wants people to know she wants a new stroller too).
Now that she supposedly doesn't have the stroller, her laundry is piling up and she's "tired."

But instead of getting the kinds of replies she wants "Oh poor you! Let's all pitch in money to get you new stuff!" people are actually offering reasonable advice and she can barely keep up with her excuses.
>One person said she talked to her upstairs neighbor and the neighbor would let her do laundry there for cheap.
>"I don't know the neighbor well."
What does that matter when she's desperate to clean her clothes?
>Another person says she can sell her a stroller for cheap. Someone else says check marketplace.
>"Can't afford that."
Yet she's constantly buying takeout and other nerd shit.
>One person says they go to the laundromat once a week and that she can tag along.
>"I can't swing that."
Yeah okay, she doesn't do shit with her time besides take selfies with her kids all day and do a personal aide job overnight. She has all the time in the world to "swing" it and literally just rejected this offer because she wants the fucking washer and dryer handed to her.

Then cue five statuses after this of being a tired single mom and how things are so hard.

Like sorry, but you choosing to be a single mom doesn't make it everyone else's problem that you're tired and can't afford shit. Get over yourself.

No. 274757

>>274752
She can just wash the clothes by hand

No. 274761

>>274759
Are you just going on every thread sperging about how much you hate skinny girls because the aint shit men you choose to date have cheated on you with them? Stop blaming those skinny girls and hold the men accountable jfc anon get a grip. You sound mentally ill.

No. 274762

>>274759
>fucking their bfs they stole from thick girls like me
>thick girls like me

You sound like an anorexic girl roleplaying a fatty.
Sorry, fatties don't care about you this much.

If you're not just roleplaying, stop being so pathetic and maybe guys will start to like you. Plenty of obese women have men, you've got no excuse.

No. 274764

File: 1533145920639.jpeg (4.36 KB, 225x225, 2I4OIUF OOF.jpeg)

>>274759
No shit you don't have a bf, you are an obese bundle of hate lmao.

No. 274765

>>274762
>i'm so jealous of skinny women
>i have dreams of killing skinny women
>skinny women steal men from me
>guys don't like fat girls
>remember how us obese are so fat and gross?
>i hate how men like girls that are not me

Nobody fat wrote this lmao. Jesus what a contrived narrative.

No. 274766

>>274765
It started sperging in the man hate thread I think its a man

No. 274768

>>274766
Yeah, could just be a man making sure he lets us know how pathetic and gross he thinks fatties are by pretending to be a fat girl.

No. 274769

>>274766
are you being sarcastic?

No. 274772

>>274757
But she's a tired single mom!

No. 274907

i'm running into a few scary situations.
been having weird, constant chest pain of varying levels since a running accident early june ( basically nearly fainted, tightness in my chest maybe , fell over like 3 times, etc).

went to get an ecg and it came back normal. then i got a nuclear stress test & am still waiting for results ( got that on monday )

ugh i know this is scattered but i'm honestly concerned about this shit
doesn't help that my doctor kept going 'hurr you're only 19~ no way u have an illness lol' all throughout. i just feel like he didn't take me seriously
i'm worried he's going to call me back & tell me shits ok even if it's not to just get me off his case. especially since i'm utterly poor and on medicaid ):

tbh i'm still young, i don't drink or smoke so there shouldn't be anything wrong? not even overweight, my bmi is like 24

but i was raised on a diet of ramen interspersed with a decent meal + tonnns of junk and fast food growing up so?? fuck i just don't know


then there's the issue with my teeth. had to get a (admittedly according to the doctor) tiny filling on a molar yesterday, i've got a more comprehensive check up coming up on the 9th and i'm scared i'll need another. also i don't think he cleaned it at all before he filled it. he just. filled it lol ( maybe i had a cavity without decay? i don't fucking know )


ANYWAY that's it! this post is extremely long but i'm sad and friendless with nobody to talk to but my mom about these issues and she just insists it's all my fault for some reason lol

plus the fall semester is ever approaching….i'm just tired

No. 274920

Sometimes when I post about some of the cows on this site, I feel bad for it. I know most of the cows are genuinely awful people and most anons tear in to them way harder that I ever had.
Like when I post, I don't feel bad right then and I enjoy posting and reading other anons post and just generally laughing at cows. But then when I think about it later I feel like a bad person, even though the cows I post about probably don't even lurk, and even if they didn't they should grow thicker skin and not let anon hate get to them.
Idk, I guess I'm just simultaneously mean-spirited and empathetic

Do any other anons feel bad, when they reflect in their past comments on the site?

No. 274922

>>274920
this is super classic moralfaggotry right here.

No. 274925

>>274920
It's normal. You do it, you regret, then you want to do it again. I don't think "empathetic" is the right word, it just means we are normal people and not psychopaths

No. 274926

>>274920
I'm not sure what you're commenting but most of my comments are about actions, and not so much petty things like looks.
Nothing I comment is so unpopular that it wouldn't be unsaid outside the cow's echo chamber. If I feel like I'm starting to get into a habit of nitpicking appearances, then I just take a break. But even then some anons are right about the things they say.
I don't feel bad. Most of these cows do the same shit behind closed doors and it's proven. Never seen a genuinely sweet person posted mercilessly to lolcow. Ever.

No. 274930

>>274922
I wouldn't say it's moralfaggotry because I don't think anybody is a bad person for posting here, not do I think I'm better or anything for feeling bad. And I understand the cows are shitty and deserve to have their shit called out.
I think I'm just weak hearted and don't have it in me to be savage and ruthless like some other anons (although I wish I was), and if there were other anons who felt the same.

No. 274939

I can't masturbate without getting a fucking headache, it happens every 5-6 months idk why. I just wanna fap in peace fuck.

No. 275079

I had an incestous dream about my stepdad that left me feeling uncomfortable when I woke up
First time this has ever happened and we don't really talk often or have any contact
I can't figure out why I suddenly had it but idk if I do see or speak to him if I can look him in the face

No. 275082

>>275079
big oof, anon. try not to think about it too much. i’m sorry your brain played you like that

No. 275107

>>275079
Weird shit happens in dreams and that's fine bro. There probably isn't any deeper meaning behind it, sometimes two tracks of thought intersect in ways you can't control.

Like, I once dreamed that the Incredible Hulk/Jolly Green Giant had titties on his head and was shooting up this Lovecraftian mall I was shopping at. Can't really make it mean anything to me, shit was scary though.

No. 275128

>>271716
I'm the anon.
Yes, if I raise my voice to my mother, they punish me very hard, even they have hit me for nothing.
I'm practically kidnapped, I can not do anything because I'm from Mexico and unfortunately my dad has the power to disappear me.

No. 275166

>>275128
You mean to kick you out of the house?

No. 275171

>>275166
The anon probably means kill. Maybe he’s cartel.

No. 275245

I’m in a relationship with a psychopath alcoholic. We live together and I’m financially dependent on him because I’m going to school but I own and purchased the place myself. He doesn’t even have a mortgage to pay and the bills are only about $400 max a month.

He’s never sorry for anything. He’s constantly pressuring me for sex. He calls women whores, cunts and bitches. He says I’m ungrateful for everything. He goes out at night and doesn’t come back until the morning. I’m scared to kick him out because he will blackmail me. My goal is to be as boring as humanely possible so he will lose interest or wait it out another year until I get a job with my finished school.

I feel dead inside. I want to scream and run away anytime he is in my presence. I feel trapped. I’m such a fucking idiot, I had a gut feeling about him too that I ignored.

No. 275257

Just downloaded tinder and holy shit it's seriously anxiety inducing. I hate this new dating world.

No. 275288

today I got caught shop lifting and I fucking hate myself. I'm so lucky the security guard actually started to say that if I admitted it before we got to the back office he wouldn't call the police but he didn't even get to say the part about the police before I blurted that I did it because I'm a total pussy
I was a klepto depressed impoverished teen but grew the fuck out of it when I realized it hurt people that work in shops and that a police record would ruin my life. I start shaking in shops because I'm just impulsively thinking about stealing but only relapse every other year. I only did it because there was nobody watching the fitting room but they found out somehow. My finances are shit but it's not like I'm homeless, I can't even defend what I did, why am I like this
The security guard was so on the level with me and just told me the process and the managers just silently sat in the background doing paperwork. I don't know why he was so reasonable, like I look bougie as fuck today and my bag was full of junk I bought from other stores, I would have got the police on my ass. They took me to pay for the stuff I stole and the girl just scanned it in and was so nice but obviously she must have known what was going on, the tags were ripped out and I was with the security guard, but she was really sweet and when she was looking for the barcode I pathetically said that I was sorry but she just smiled really genuinely and said not to worry or something and I nearly burst out crying. The security guy even let me walk out alone so nobody would see.
I just want to cry on someone to let all these feelings out but there's nobody I can tell about this, and I'm so scared anyone will ever find out I'm banned from the store so I hope my friends never try to go in there with me. I got away with this so lightly and I'm so scared shitless, I'm just trying to hide my tears right now and act normal
inb4 the admins dox my IP and ruin my life or some shit

No. 275303

>>275245
Anon I am so sorry to hear about this, he sounds just like my brother so I know how it can feel. It doesn't sound like he's going to lose interest in you, unfortunately, these types always love having power over someone. I'm sorry that I don't have any advice or anything but remember that you're not alone in this. I don't know if you have any friends or family but maybe you could tell them about this? If you ever need to talk we could swap discords, too

No. 275306

Im in a long distance relationship with a guy with Aspergers and its a complete fucking mess. We've been dating for 3 years. We've met up once, for about 2 and a half months and that was over a year ago. He wants me to come again so we're planning for me to come again in December. But its SO. FUCKING. FRUSTRATING. I still love and care about him very much but theres just so much bullshit to have to deal with.

No. 275324

File: 1533239391680.png (350.65 KB, 1254x1711, 1533174457821.png)

It genuinely infuriates me that this woman now sits on the editorial board at the New York Times when so many other professional, polished writers and editors with the exact same credentials as her can barely earn a living wage just because they didn't make shitposting into a career.

I hate the new frontier of journalism. All you have to do is be a completely unhinged SJW, obese, trans, or make your race your entire identity. You can have public nudes and porn on your twitter, pictures of your menstrual blood and hairy armpits, you can air your dirty laundry all day and still get a fantastic job! You no longer have to be dedicated to honest, unbiased, fair reporting – forget about even bothering to be a fucking professional.

I realize she was only really able to get away with this because she's shitting on white people, but it's still extremely rude and tasteless behavior and if I was a recruiter or headhunter it would totally dissuade me from contacting or promoting her. Why is this behavior being rewarded?

Meanwhile, the rest of us are treated as chopped liver, just waiting around until half the newsroom gets laid off (again), or the budget gets cut (again), or we get sold to some shady, corrupt parent company (again), or the whole thing tanks because we're not le edgy enough.

I just can't with this generation of news media.

No. 275327

>>275324
kek and people wonder why whites are abandoning the left

No. 275328

>>275288
I would have called the police on you, you didn't deserve any of the staffs kindness.
And now you come here, acting as if it's an illness and that you're powerless against the urge to steal, even though your a grown ass woman and then mentioning a dozen times that you feel like crying - why should anybody pity you?!

No. 275330

>>275288
Look on the bright side, you got to learn a lesson without any serious consequences. Maybe this experience will help you the next time you feel like stealing.

No. 275331

>>275288
Wow, anon, really? First off, grow the fuck up. You have no right to be stealing, you're an adult. Get over yourself. People like you are such garbage.

No. 275333

>>275288
I hope your klepto gets better. Are you seeing a therapist? You should before you get into trouble, you're very lucky the staff was nice to you.
Ignore the rude anons btw, yes your mental illness sucks for other people but it doesn't mean you're a bad person, however you should absolutely take steps to get better and stop it. And meanwhile, don't go into shops alone, only go with people who would discourage that behavior.

No. 275334

>>275324
She wants to be white so bad.

No. 275340

>>275333
>stealing is a mental illness and thiefs are good people
topkek

No. 275345

>>275340
nta but nice strawmanning. do you even know what kleptomania is?

No. 275378

>>272392
GW2 is mostly free to join too.

No. 275387

>>275328
I didn't ask for pity, I know I'm a piece of shit that didn't deserve to get off so lightly, I just I came here to vent because after that I'm feeling a lot but obviously I can't tell anyone irl about it

>>275330
>>275333
Thank you, I'm really hoping that this is the wake up call that makes me kick it forever even though that sounds so fake, I'm just so scared that a few years down the line I'll fuck up again and never be able to get a job again or something. I can't afford therapy but only going into stores with friends is a really good idea, I feel like I never want to go in any store again anyway

No. 275391

They just treat me terribly.

No. 275402

>>275345
>>275333

Stealing shit does not equate to mental illness. I'd love to see that in court:
"sorry your honor, i couldn't help myself, i'm a klepto"

It's pathetic. You are a bad person if you steal shit you don't need, and I'm assuming you're not stealing because you need to eat or anything like that, you're doing it because you're a dirty thief.

No. 275409

Whichever retarded newfag keeps necroing 2 year old threads needs to hurry up and get banned, they've completely shit up the board.

No. 275438

>>275409
Farmhand said it's a spambot and they're working on stopping it.

No. 275457

>>275438
Ah, that makes sense now that I've read the posts. Hope they can get those threads back to where they were. /ot/ is a mess rn.

No. 275466

Call it petty, but I'm extremely bothered by the fact that the posts I tag my bf in aren't showing up on his timeline. He's claiming ignorance, but I think he tweaked the privacy settings bc he never checks into his settings to fix the issue. He just wants me to believe it's suddenly fb's fault something that worked before suddenly doesn't.
I don't post and tag much on facebook, but when I do it's usually for significant happenings. ie. I purchased plane tickets for our first international vacation.
It's like he doesn't want people to know? Like he's embarrassed because it's obvious that I'm funding the trip and he'd never get to do this without me? I'm not sure what to think of it, but I'm bothered.
Other things sometimes show on his timeline, but other things don't.
Another simple solution is sharing my post to his timeline, but he doesn't.
I'm very suspicious.

Meanwhile he spams my timeline with retarded memes which drown out my own posts. So I've decided to hide his stupid shit from my timeline. Idk, I just want a bf who appreciates me and wants other people to know what I do for him.

Maybe I'm overreacting. It is just social media.

No. 275483

I know you could add some sort of hellish creature specifically designed to torture your very existence with its economy.

>>274353
I have 2 other sisters and i hated it lol I've been using Windows for more artists to follow, post a few things.

No. 275534

I’m shaking as I write this, mostly out of anger and fear. But here’s a little back story to what I have to vent about. My grandparents have lived in the same house for about 30 years, the name under the house is my grandfathers aunt. I’ve spent every single Christmas/thanksgiving/Easter you name it in this house, my baby sitter lived next door I practically spent every day of my childhood in the house, just like my father. When my mom went homeless my grandparents let my siblings and my mom live with them. My mother and father aren’t together and have long been divorced so they really didn’t need to let my mom stay with them. Fast forward a little bit, mom moved out siblings moved out, I stayed. My grandma was diagnosed with breast cancer so after chemo everyday we would sit in the middle of the floor in the living room and watch friends, play monopoly, anything to cheer grandma up from what she’s going through. So as you can tell this house has MANY memories for me and my family. My grandfather has passed away in January of this year and after all the grieving and sadness my grandma has decided to remodel the house as a way to keep her mind at ease. She’s gotten some work done but yesterday she received a call that my grandfathers aunt has decided to sell the house and she must get out. This is where my anger comes in, how can someone be so greedy? This woman owns loads of property, much better ones than my childhood home but she’s doing this out of resentment towards my grandmother. I just wish there was something to do, I’ve been crying nonstop I want to help but I don’t know what I can do someone please just give me kind words of advice I’m dying for it

No. 275535

>>275534
How the hell is the aunt able to decide to sell the home with people living in it unless her name is on the deed?
What country?
Most first world countries do have squatter rights and she can't just tell you to get out without certain procedures and deadlines.

No. 275536

>>275535
Oh nevermind. I missed the part where it's under her name.
That sucks anon, I'm sorry.

It's not right to toss out an old lady who just went through chemo to the streets.

No. 275538

I'm part of a rather small fandom. Recently some secretly taken photos of the band surfaced and one of my "friends" got angry because people shared those pics and therefore invaded their privacy or some shit.
That same women writes smut about said band as a hobby.
I really wonder whether I should call her out.

No. 275539

>>275536
Thank you for your kind words anon, you’re right it’s not right to do that, I checked and the value of the house went up $50,000 so I know this is all out of pure greed. I’m utterly heartbroken

No. 275540

>>275539
You should seek legal advise, on reddit if you must. All is not lost yet. She may have some sort of squatters rights.
You’re a good granddaughter. How old is your grandfathers aunt??

No. 275541

>>275466
>significant happenings
>ie. I purchased plane tickets for our first international vacation

I wouldn't want that shit on my timeline either, Anon.

No. 275543

>>275540
Thank you so much, you have no idea how much that means to me. I’ll be posting to Reddit I’m praying they can help me there. Seriously thank you I needed kind words in these times of need.

No. 275544

>>275466
>> Maybe I'm overreacting
You are anon. Y'all are going on vaca out of the country and you're more worried about how many people will see it. You sound like one of those girls who fish for likes on facebook. Enjoy your trip anon jesus.

No. 275554

>>275541
It wasn't worded exactly like that, but it did let people know what we were doing and asked for some general info from them in addition.

>>275544
It's not that I'm worried about people seeing it, it's that I think my bf is embarrassed by it which doesn't make sense.
Although you're right, social media isn't the end of the world.

No. 275559

File: 1533260482640.png (441.93 KB, 1240x1016, 154427321872.png)

>>275324 here - So the New York Times just issued a statement in defense of this bitch and I want to scream.

How does this happen? Regular journalists who don't metaphorically spread their assholes on social media don't get special treatment like this. We can barely get hired, and once we are we're offered no job security and shit benefits. Why do you think all these publications (Vox, WaPo, the New Yorker, etc) are forming unions left and right?

Is there a reason why they're bending over backwards to defend this behavior? Any other news publication would have D R O P P E D her stupid ass like a hot potato. They even admit that her posts are "unacceptable," no shit - why does she still have the job then?

What sorcery is she using to get the New York fucking Times to not only defend her low-brow racebaity shitposting, but to apologize on her behalf and elevate her to their editorial board?

Fuck her and fuck NYT, I hope this comes back to bite them in the gunt.

No. 275572

>>275554
then why did you tag him in it? what does it matter? that sounds corny so i'd be embarrassed by it too.

No. 275579

>>275554
>> it's not that I'm worried about people seeing it
Then why do you care if it shows up in his timeline. Because he doesn't want it on his timeline doesn't mean he's embarrassed lol sounds like you just want to bitch anon

No. 275580

>>275572
Because he's my bf. Why do people tag anybody in anything.

>>275579
Well this is the vent thread, maybe I'm just airing some feels off my chest.

No. 275581

>>275580
I just don't understand why you need social media's input on your relationship like… at all. Its like you want to put on a show for your feed and you're upset that nobody but you cares.

No. 275583

>>275581
Nah. I was upset because it feels like he doesn't want people to know. Not because "wah muh attention." It's however you interpret that, but like you said, it ultimately doesn't matter.

No. 275584

File: 1533264715963.jpg (120.28 KB, 1300x957, plshelp.jpg)

I fucking hate the mosquitoes. I can't get any decent sleep as of recently.

I wish they'd suck my blood and let me be, but nooooooooo, they have to buzz straight into my fucking ear and now this is the nth time I'm awake at 4am while I have to leave for work in a few hours.

Not to mention all these itchy bumps that I have now thanks to those greedy blood suckers.

If I could make a deal with the devil about getting rid of mosquitoes for good, I would do it without a second thought.

I want winter back ;_;

No. 275586

My boyfriend and I had this problem as well, then we both decided to delete social media for a while and see how relationship withheld on its own. This was 2 years ago and we have yet to go back to social media. Some times social media effects things way more than they actually should, in all honesty I’ve nevee had a relationship work this well and I really do think it’s lack of outsiders opinions

No. 275589

>>275554
you're not really overreacting. the issue is that he might be hiding it. why these anons keep hyperfocusing on the "wHy dO yOu cArE aBoUt SoCiaL MeDiA sO mUcH??" is dumb af. yeah, i'd be worried tbqh. like, if your bf is hiding making your relationship public, that's sus as fuck, especially when social media is found to be like a major avenue for cheating.

but yeah, facebook and shit is lame. both of you should delete your facebooks. shit is like super unhealthy. what matters is that he shows appreciation toward you irl and shows his family and friends how much he appreciates you (all of which can be done outside of social media), but if he's deliberately hiding shit on his fb, that's cause for concern

No. 275602

>>275589
You're right anon. I need to phase out social media from my life. I realize how pathetic I sound, don't get me wrong.

No. 275604

I recently gained weight due to overeating from stress so I've decided to start exercising, eating right, etc. so I can drop those extra pounds and be healthier. My only problem is…my breasts got bigger and I know if I lose the weight they'll probably go back to their previous size which makes me kinda sad (I know it's dumb kek). They weren't particularly small to begin with but I really like the size they're at now, idk they're just much fuller and look nicer? Obviously my health is more important than having big boobs but it just sucks that there's no guarantee they'll stay the same while the rest of me gets smaller.

Although tbh they are heavier which makes my back hurt and now my shirts fit weird so I guess losing them wouldn't be that bad lol. Was nice while it lasted.

No. 275606

>>275583
what if he doesn't want people to know? what's wrong with that?

No. 275608

i'm so frustrated and upset because i have severe math anxiety and freak out because of it and feel so incredibly stupid thanks to it, and it still plagues me well into my adulthood. does anyone else struggle with this? i used to miss so much school as a kid because my father was abusive and i couldn't go to school with black eyes and bruises so i'd miss literally weeks at a time, and my math teachers would always treat me like shit for not understanding shit after missing school so often, often acting like i chose to miss school or was skipping or something, despite them all being excused absences.

i was treated like i was automatically stupid, they'd publicly embarrass me in front of the class, all because i couldn't obviously understand concepts i hadn't learned yet, and with math, you obviously can't make progress if you miss steps/concepts. the problem was then compounded when my ivy league, up-his-own-asshole uncle would routinely call me an idiot, stupid, etc, for years, all because i would have to ask for his help and couldn't understand.

i feel so much anxiety and i can't even do basic math without my heartrate increasing and having anxiety attacks. i blank on tests and it has just affected my life so severely. it just makes me so sad that the abuse i've suffered affected me in every part of my life and has affected me so deeply. a lot of people used to tell me that school would be my salvation from the abuse, but people don't understand that when you're a child in poverty that's physically abused and scared of everyone, it can affect every part of your life, and you don't even have a parent that cares about you enough to not beat the shit out of you, let alone pay for you to get a tutor or something, so you just flounder in every fucking part of your life.

No. 275621

>>275606
Because not wanting people to know doesn't make any sense, what's the reasoning for it?

No. 275622

>>275621
yes it does. ever hear of privacy? there's lots of people who wouldn't want their plans on social media.

No. 275626

>>275622
Lol, but he'll tag his location when he's out at a pub, with friends, etc. He's already told his major friends we're going.
C'mon anon, it's a little strange.

No. 275627

>>275626
no it's not

No. 275628

>>275627
Well you can think someone who doesn't usually care about privacy only seems to care about it selectively. That's fine.

No. 275633

>>275626
it is a little strange. don't listen to these anons.

No. 275636

>>275604
The fatter I get, the better my tits look too. It sucks. Try upper body exercises to make them at least stay held up as you lose and not deflate.

No. 275644

>>275324
>hapa
>"white" side is jewish
>asian side is korean

fuck dude i'd be pissed, too(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 275651

Farmer who reply on /ot/ or /g/ to perfectly normal things with "Ew what is wrong with you" or "omg go get yourself some self esteem" have to be massive controlling cunts.

No. 275653

>>275651
Anon 1
>I love balls
Anon 2
>omg ew you disgusting handmaiden. google "internalized misogyny", stupid libfem!

No. 275654

>>275653
that's not how that thread went at all.

No. 275655

>>275654
what thread? it's something i made up based on shit that's said here every single day

No. 275667

>>275559
>the fact that she is a young Asian woman
Why the fuck do Asians always get a pass when it's pretty well known that they earn the most on average and therefore actually are "priviledged"?! And yet they always get to play the poor bullied little Asian card…

No. 275669

>>275324
wow, that is bad. i dont even necessarily disagree with these takes, but these are so unprofessional. like, this would be shitty still if she was working at VICE, let alone the NYT. this is so incredibly unprofessional and embarrassing. she's 30 years old. left twitter really does breed retards.

No. 275670

I have to catch an early train tomorrow morning, it's only a 15 minute walk to the station but I'm scared of all the fucking kebabs who rape and mug people at this time of day so I will have to call a cab and pay fucking 10,- for nothing. Thank you cultural enrichment!

No. 275672

>>275324
She's an unabashed racist to be sure, but the thing about Breaking Bad is actually kind of true, lmao.

No. 275675

>>275669
>i dont even necessarily disagree with these takes
Congrats, you're a racist.

No. 275679

>>275584
same, my legs are the texture of lumpy curd rn, i fucking hate mosquitoes

No. 275681

>>275679
Not that anon but yep. Mosquitos ruin summer. Show off legs and feel comfortable and cool in a cute skirt or shorts?

>Nah bitch, you gonna feel the itch

No. 275686

>>275584
>>275679
>>275681
Depending on what you're willing to try, eating matchstick heads (box strike only) has worked for me. You only need 3-6.
Sulfur acts as a natural mosquito repellant.

It's a trick a lot of military vets use and they swear by it, there's not enough chemicals in a matchstick head to do any harm to you. And definitely no more than the standard chemical body spray repellants.
I personally used it when I viewed the solar eclipse last year and I didn't get bit nearly as much as I usually did.

No. 275732

Someone keeps bumping old as shit threads, jfc

No. 275734

>>275732
PSA: It's a spambot. If you see any real people replying for seemingly no reason, it's probably because the spambot posts got deleted after bumping and some anons didn't check to see if the threads were old.

No. 275736

File: 1533292436638.jpg (33.51 KB, 1000x564, 8b53f341bf455dcad2173d7cfbfda5…)

I grow out my natural nails long and a little over a week ago I broke my pointer nail while trying to open my car. A single one.
I don't think anyone's noticed, but it makes my whole hand feel hideous to have this one random short nail.
I don't feel like cutting them all and starting over because I've had a pretty good grow this round, like none of the edges have cracked or broken. I thought about applying a tip but I'm too cheap to buy a whole pack at the store for something I'll maybe use once a year at most, and also too cheap to go to a nail tech so they can charge me $20 to fuck with my nails when I'm capable of doing them my own.

Idk i'm pissy.

No. 275748

>>275736
Thats so frustrating anon I feel you. Whenever I grow my nails out long they all just break off one by one. Maybe you should buy some strengthening polish.

No. 275749

>>275736
That happens to me too all the time.
I cut all nails in this case because it looks nasty. Sometimes I just put a plaster over the short nail tho lmao.
Next time it happens I'll buy fake nails and just put them on one nail.

No. 275751

>>275736
God, that is the worst. I just grew my nails out planning to have them manicured properly before going on holidays, then a couple of days before I left I broke one. I can't stand having one short nail so I just sucked it up and cut em all off.

No. 275763

>>275748
Not than anon but I have weak nails too and I used Herôme nailhardener for a while (the strongest one in a red box). Works like a charm but I kinda feel like it makes my nails break even faster because one bump into something and they break instead of flexing. But when I don't use it they just tear instead of breaking right now.

My solution as of right now is doing gel overlay (so no extension) to strengten and support my natural nail and help it grow out.

No. 275784

>>275734
Why would anyone make a bot like that I wonder?

>>275736
Same, just had that happen last week. And then later when you have to cut them short for whatever reason it feels weird af.

No. 275790

This is the dumbest vent ever but today I'm struggling. I get queasy if I eat in the mornings and I'm currently taking a medicine that makes me feel full, but I'm having to force myself to eat bc I have to go to the dentist and have work done. Last time I didn't eat enough before the dentist, my heart started racing almost as soon as they gave me the shots for whatever numbing shit shit they use. Which meant I had to sit there in the dentist office and eat a granola bar and WAIT, which sucked.

Basically, I'm a dummy who should have scheduled her appointment for later in the day but who didn't think that far ahead.

No. 275794

I hate that always get so creepily obsessed and jealous with guys after hooking up with them, despite having no romantic interest in them.

For instance, around 6 weeks ago I hooked up twice with this guy from Tinder who was staying in my city for work at the time. I thought he was really cute, but I didn't feel strong chemistry and the sex was mediocre. Nonetheless we agreed to see each other again once he's back in my city. He is very good looking and travels a lot for his job, so I know that he hooks up with a lot of girls.
The past couple of weeks I have been religiously stalking his Instagram profile as well as the profiles of girls who I assume he's hooking up with. Every time I see him commenting heart emojis on some girl's picture my heart kinda sinks and I get irrationally jealous even though I am in NO position to be jealous - I mean, I haven't even seen him since and we've only texted like once in the meantime. Plus I've actually hooked up with another guy myself very shortly after meeting him and didn't feel bad about it.

I get that it's super irrational, especially since he's not even someone I can see myself being in a relationship with. But I just can't stop myself from stalking his Instagram. I've already muted his stories but I go check them anyways. Like today I saw that he's in London right now, and from stalking his page I know that there is at least one other girl he's been sleeping with there, so I've been feeling shit all day. This is not normal.

How do I stop this? Has this to do with me being insecure about something? Where does this come from?

No. 275804

>>275794
This is some primal part of your brain comparing yourself and feeling somehow “used”, even if you know rationally that you werent, just block him.

No. 275805

>>275794

I've posted basically the same issues in the Unhealthy Obsessions thread, but since no one replied, I thought I maybe was alone. I'm glad that I'm not, even though this stupid jealousy/obsession really sucks. I know exactly what you're going through and while I think it's absolutely silly, I can relate sooo much!

I've used Tinder a lot for a while and I obsessed over every guy I met. Some of them were really lame, too, but that didn't stop me. Social media contributes a lot to this, because just like you, I'd check their profiles, see where they are/what they do and get super jealous at any sign of female contact. I continued hooking up, but still checked the other guys and only stopped when a new, really interesting one appeared in my life, because from then on I would simply e-stalk him/wait for him to meet me again. Sometimes I was crying over a guy who I was obsessed with one day, and a few hours + a hookup later I'd have forgotten about him. But the cycle always continued. I don't use Tinder anymore and I don't hookup right now, but I've hit my personal low by meeting someone from another country through online gaming. After texting him and talking to him every now and then (explicit conversations, so it's basically a digital hookup lol), I started checking his activities AGAIN and get so upset when I see that he's online and doesn't contact me. I know that I have to delete him because this is just ridiculous, but I'm too weak.

I think being really strict about contact and stopping yourself by e.g deleting him on social media is important. Sporadically talking to someone and checking their Insta stories definitely won't help and probably make it worse because you'll fantasize about him without being satisfied. In the end, he is just a hookup and not worth so much of your attention. Also, don't be like me and start embarrassing yourself in front of your hookups by being a clingy pain in the ass instead of the independent femme fatale you want to be.

No. 275811

>>275805
I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one struggling with this!
For me it's exactly the same: As soon as a new interesting guy enters the picture, my obsession with the previous one stops immediately.

What makes the problem even worse for me is that I have a tendency to hook up with guys who don't live in my city or even my country (I seriously don't know why). Because I don't see them again for a long time afterwards, I always have a looot of time to stalk them and to imagine unrealistic scenarios that literally have NOTHING to do with the actual guy and his personality. I hate it.

Unfortunately I've already embarrassed myself really badly just like you, like I literally flew over to another country to see someone once and he stood me up kek.

No. 275815

I can't fucking take it anymore, I don't want to work in a call center. The insults, yelling and stress I go through is just too much. I can't even fucking quit because my country is going through a really shitty economic crisis and I'm actually getting paid a lot better but god the stress and insults, I just can't take it anymore. I can't wait for summer to end so calls could end until March.

No. 275817

i miss my abusive ex. he groomed me but he was reliable, comforted me when i was sad, and was always kind. even if he was only doing it for selfish reasons, i knew he'd always be there and i felt good about us

i'm already in another abusive, even less loving relationship anyway. it's taking all of my energy not to crawl back to my ex. at least my ex didn't gaslight me, verbally abuse me, control what i wear, and push me too far in the bedroom. i thought leaving my ex was the best thing to do, but instead i'm more codependent and docile than ever

either way i'm stupid and worthless. this flavor of abuse isn't for me. i miss when it was at least disguised as something positive

i'm going to end up dead on the side of the road somewhere at this rate

No. 275818

>>275815
I also work in a call center anon. Sadly mine isn't like this, hopefully it gets better for you though!

No. 275819

>>275817
Get help anon, leave. Is there no family you can live with?

No. 275824

>>275811
>like I literally flew over to another country to see someone once and he stood me up kek.

Oh shit, don't give me any ideas! I already see myself taking the plane to meet my new online gaming "love"… And it's true; especially with guys you don't see often, it's easy to put them on a pedestal. I sometimes even realize that they are not as perfect as I imagine them to be, but my brain always manages to dismiss that.

However, I don't agree with >>275804, but I'm also not entirely sure where this comes from. I've realized that it's hard for me to just hookup because I always invest feelings (again, not love or serious interest) into everything and am very sensitive. I also enjoy male attention a lot. I love the brief period before the actual hookup, when a guy really tries to woo you. With Tinder hookups, this usually stops after ~it happened~ (even if you meet more then just once) and it's really hard for me to leave those exciting moments behind. The stalking (and sometimes embarrassing contacting) usually starts when I begin craving more attention and is fueled by me hoping that the guy will be all over me again. I'm also insecure and only had one very long relationship before trying Tinder, so I guess I also lack experience.

No. 275840

>>275818

Thank you, I have too many responsibilities like as many as a supervisor and I'm hoping that I'll get promoted after this vacation season ends. I'm the only one who can speak English in the office so my workload is almost triple of other people, I just want to get a position where I don't have to deal with all the mouth breathers I talk to everyday.

No. 275849

I work in a health center
it's anniversary week so we close after 2 pm until 5
we have to take turns if patients come to the door or if they have a problem, which sucks because people are always angry and offensive when we don't work like fucking machines and "have fun"

15 doctors work here in total
few turns every day
they put me in every single fucking day while others never do anything

fuck this

No. 275860

>>275824
Please don't make the same mistake I did and travel to see him, I really wouldn't wish that shitty feeling on anyone lol

I agree that it probably has to do with a mix of wanting attention and insecurity. When I think about my current situation I think what bothers me the most is that he isn't giving me the attention I'm craving from him. He hasn't really reached out to me a lot so I know he isn't thinking about me like I'm thinking about him (I mean, why would he? It's not like we have a future together or that he even wants something serious in the first place). When I see him giving attention to other girls on Instagram I can't help but think, does he like her more than me? Does he find this girl cuter than me? etc.
Also I am a very sensitive person too, so that might really have to do with it as well. Maybe hookups just aren't for us?

I wish I had the discipline to just unfollow him and just not lurk… But seriously it's like an addiction

No. 275878

>>275670
Im moving to the netherlands to live with my boyfriend and yeah, im kind of terrified.

No. 275898

ugh i know this is childish but i have nobody to talk to this about so i’m putting it here. the guy i like (and who likes me according to him) is always “too busy” to text me back before 24 hours have passed even though he’s active on messenger or insta. we’ve been close for years and i think this is going to fuck it up because i can’t handle seeing him almost everyday for a month and then barely hearing from him at all.

No. 275907

>>275898
some people don't like texting but yea he probably doesn't like you

No. 275909

>>275907
thanks, i guess. but if i said to him “idk if you like me anymore” (i did say this once) he would try his best to convince me otherwise and i believe him when he says, it but it’s hard to believe that when it’s like this. idk why he’d lie about liking me though. we’ve been friends for 5+ years, what would he have to gain from it since i’m not fucking him?

No. 275913

>>275860
I don't know… I enjoy hookups and usually the crazy stuff just starts happening as soon as it is over, because the attention is gone then. I don't really want to give up on meeting guys forever, though. But my jealousy often mixes with anger, too, and I feel so stupid because I know that the guy I obsess over doesn't care (because yeah, why should he?) and is absolutely unaware while I'm suffering…

I hope you can find the strength to unfollow him. I don't think that it's healthy for you and strategies like blocking his stories didn't work as you said (I actually deactivated the activity on Instagram so that I couldn't see when someone is/was online anymore, but I always reactivate it because I'm weak). I'm really planning on doing the same. Wish me luck!

>>275898
Do you guys like each others as friends or more? I think if it's a friendship, it's normal that these are "low-maintenance" sometimes and that there can be silence. If you're talking about a love interest, he probably isn't into you or not very much into you, because otherwise he would contact you more often.

No. 276013

>feel like worthless incompetent dogshit because i'm average or below average in some areas of life
>realize that if i were to be above average at everything i'd be a really exceptional person
>try to tell myself it's silly to feel bad for not being literally exceptional and that i'm doing just fine and still have time to do even better
>it just feels like i'm coddling myself and rewarding mediocrity

wtf. am i snowflake? why is it so hard to feel ok that i'm doing just average? my parents were really strict growing up and had high expectations for me so maybe my mind has mistaken harsh criticism with nurturing, but wtf i'd like to be past this bullshit by now.

No. 276035

omg the people I was eating dinner with insisted that Orochimaru from Naruto must be trans and use they pronouns. wtf???? There's no way his author ever was trying to imply he was trans and way to force western notions of gender on a Japanese kids cartoon. Ughhh

No. 276037

File: 1533356794834.png (720.75 KB, 724x974, ffff.PNG)

I hate DDLG degenerates. I wish they'd all fucking die.

No. 276044

File: 1533363135037.png (1.21 MB, 960x960, 86973EAD-7263-465E-9E2F-0DBB01…)

>>276037
Agreed anon. I had an ex boyfriend who was into DDLG and pretended to be a cat (meowing, licking, biting included). Now it’s hard to see images of cats without feeling a tinge of disgust

No. 276049

File: 1533364259605.jpg (24.64 KB, 506x960, 1495743124317.jpg)

My sleeping is so fucked thanks to my job hours.

>go in to work at 2pm

>don't get home until midnight
>can't go to bed right away sometimes
>try to go to bed but I always wake up around 1 or 2 am so it's like a nap
>lately staying up until 6,7,8am
>doze off around 9 or 10am
>wake up at 130pm
>repeat

I'm visiting my parents because my dad is fixing something on my car. I made the mistake of going to bed at 9pm. I woke up at 1am and have been up since. It's boring here to boot.
I just want to be able to sleep through the night like a normal person but these hours feel like my "evening" after coming home from work.

No. 276050

>>276049
Go to bed later. I had similar hours and if I went to bed before 2ish I'd always wake up a few hours later and was unable to go back to sleep.
Force yourself to stay awake until then, and you'll sleep much better. I don't think we're meant to crash out as soon as we're done work, it's like we still have some adrenaline left or something that wakes us up a bit later.

No. 276066

>>276044
I'm sorry you went through that anon but:

Top kek for most awkward ex-bf story I've heard yet.

No. 276097

Every time I join a fb group/group chat/forum to talk about anime and weebshit, I'm either the oldest one there by 10 years (23), or everyone is my age but wants to selfpost and humblebrag aboit their basic lives and friends. Jfc, it's like my entire age group can only act like they're interacting with their Instagram followers, and the only hobbies they want to talk about are drugs/memes/sadboi mumblerappers.

No. 276099

>>276097

know the feeling. ended up deleting social media. can't stand it. wish there was somewhere for us rejects to congregate besides here.

No. 276100

>>276099
Agree, somewhere that doesn't devolve into the most extroverted weeaboo trying to be the king of the coop. I wouldn't call myself a social reject, it's just exhausting to deal with the way most people can't seem to stop trying to promote themselves and stay on topic.

No. 276103

>>276100

me either, but i feel rejected in the sense i don't want to do the same vapid shitshowing everyone else does to be popular.

No. 276104

>>276100
The fact this board is anon rules out selfish self-promo purposes for engaging, maybe we've cracked the code for why anon interaction (between women and occasional larpers) is preferable to places with names and professions and shizz

Even in places like Twitter where anything you post can arguably make you look worse, all anyone is interested in is promo of their shitty self-brand >>276097
Which is always basically this

No. 276106

>>276097
Have you tried checking out >>266400
we have a group for being weebs on line. We're pretty active anon

No. 276110

>>276106
I posted in that thread and got no replies, and I joined the chat to lurk but it's literally 1-3 people chatting about their personal lives. As of now there are 14 people in the group, only ~5 are active at all, and I've seen maybe 3 try to talk about anime less than a handful of times- but every time those same few members bring up their personal lives again.

Nothing against them personally, but if the group has a purpose then at least try to stay on topic? I turned off my line notifications bc I got bored listening to that one girl talk about herself and post her selfies. I don't even feel bad about never posting in the group, there's nothing "weeaboo" about it.

No. 276111

>>276110

lmao, i love this response. so typical of what you wanted to avoid.

No. 276112

>>276111
Sadly, yeah. I was so happy when that thread popped up, but oh well. Maybe we can get an anime general discussion thread somewhere?

No. 276113

>>276110
We talk about a lot of things though. I mean if you want to center back to anime bring it up

No. 276115

>>276113

I'm sorry, but your friends/SO/details about your personal life isn't really "a lot of things", it's one thing- talking about yourself. And like I said, every time someone tries to bring up anime it goes back to the one girl (think she made the group) talking about herself/her life. You shouldn't have to circle back to forced discission of anime in a so-called weeb group.

No. 276117

>>276115
I mean I get what you mean it is kinda tiring hearing about the same person(if we're talking about the same person since there are two who does this). But when the chat started it was mostly anime related. I think it'd be better if more people talked about the main topic rather than let her talk about her personal life, if we did she probably wouldn't talk about herself as much. But then again it is a girl group they all seem to end this way lol.

No. 276118

>>276117
Kinda agree, but at the same time I feel like nobody wants to jump in and redirect the convo. Personally I feel like it would just wnd with those two talking about themselves while that other girl asks questions about them.

No. 276130

I only ever feel empty and worthless.
I don't see a reason for a pathetic person like me to live besides that some people would be sad if I ended my life by suicide and I don't want to hurt them.
The only reason I'm alive is because I feel guilty towards my girlfriend and my pals that would be heartbroken over my death.
Other than that I see no purpose or reason at all. I wish I could just die without any active suicidal drives because than I wouldn't be to blame.

No. 276187

>>276130
I know how you feel anon. Just try to pass the time with as much enjoyment and fun as possible. Your time will come eventually either by fate’s hand or your own. Just be patient with your suffering.

No. 276207

>>276130
I just hope I get run over by a car so then it wouldn't be me actively ending my life. but also I'd feel bad for whoever gets traumatised by driving over me you know. This sounds horrible but right now I'm just passively waiting my mom's death although that might take half a century as she's fairly young. I want to go without hurting anyone.

No. 276239

>>276207
Please don't hurt your girlfriend and your mom like this. Don't hurt yourself. You will ruin their lives if you do. You will find reason to be joyful and inspired, just keep going. Things will get better. Sending you my anon love from this gossip board (but really).

No. 276246

File: 1533415904377.gif (491.84 KB, 240x180, Vnv.gif)

Why does everything taste so shitty lately. I can't even eat more than two bites of my favorite foods before I get absolutely disgusted and put them back into the fridge. If I force myself to choke them down I get incredibly nauseous and panic. Iced tea is the only thing I can actually stand. I'm not pregnant and I feel okay emotionally so I have no clue why it is happening. I'm becoming scared to eat but I can't convince myself to actually go to the doctor because it doesn't feel serious enough

No. 276255

I think I have Histrionic PD. I'm very shy in real life so I "express" myself online, I live half of my life online. I troll and bully people until they have breakdowns and delete their accounts.

No. 276264

>>276246
Google it first to see if there are some environmental causes that may be doing it.
Then definitely doctor.

No. 276316

>>276239
i was a diff anon, i wish i had a gf lol
tahnk you for being kind although i don't believe what you say to be true

No. 276325

I hate the company that i work at and i always look forward for the weekends, but then i just end up sad and tired. Today i spent the entire day playing house flipper (while my room irl is a mess) and crying in bed. I haven't eaten since lunch on friday because i don't get hungry anymore. When I get depressed i usually try to fill the void with food, video games and new clothes. Now none of that works anymore. I just feel sad, empty, useless and tired, no matter what i do/buy/play/eat. My bf and therapist have been very supportive but i just don't know what to do anymore. I have the urge to cut myself all the time but i don't wanna do that to my boyfriend.

At times like this i just wish i was a normie. I have a job, a bf, friends and family. Why can't i just be happy?

No. 276347

>>276264

Thanks for your reply. Google didn't help me much unfortunately. Since I posted this, liquids have started to make me violently dry-heave and I can barely keep them down. So yeah, doctor very soon.

No. 276380

I’m living in a sober house right now and it sucks. Wanna know what the kicker is? It’s because I smoke too much weed / not my undiagnosed PTSD that went untreated for six years.

And I’m sure for shit fucking smoking weed when I get out.

Fuck my life. Just one more month here then I’m gone.

I’m so sick of the people at our treatment center comparing me to alcohol/heroin/coke/meth addicts when i just can’t see myself in the same category. That’s no shade to people that struggle with those things, I just still don’t see myself as a drug addict because I was self medicating my PTSD with weed. Shit just sucks. Ugh. Grateful for this thread.

Anyone’s feedback/opinions is highly encouraged & appreciated.

No. 276384

>>276380
Anon, where are you from that people think pot is that serious? just curious

No. 276386

>>276384
Wouldn't surprise me if anon is from a non-legal US state. They have retarded notions about weed and I know plenty of people who seriously compare it to booze and aren't joking.

No. 276387

>>276380
Did the courts order this nonsense?

No. 276395

>>276384
I’m in DC where it is legal! I even went to a rehab / trauma treatment center basically!
>>276387
My parents are ordering it basically. They’re very old and very old fashioned but they’re also functioning alcoholics & primarily the reason I have PTSD in the first place.
I need their financial support to finish school so I can be financially independent without having piles of debt.

No. 276396

>>276246
Hey anon, that could be your thyroid having troubles. The same thing happened to me last uear, I got on levothyroxine and now I can eat normally again. For me it got s lot worse before it got better though because I used my newfound food repulsion to lose weight like a retard, so my hair started falling out and my nails got super brittle. My doctor chewed my ass for waiting months to deal with it (I got around eating by smoking a blunt solo and getting so high that I could just force myself to eat and keep things down) Don't let it go for longer than a week, not being able to eat is a big deal.

No. 276403

>>276396

I appreciate your contribution anon but I hope you're wrong, I've heard so many people complaining about thyroid disorders and it kind of scares me. Funny you mention weight loss, if I hadn't finally given up on my retarded skelly aspirations last month I might've done the same thing as you. The fluids thing is problematic given the current heatwave so I won't put it off any longer. I'm just bad at asking for help in general.

No. 276405

I was feeling suicidal so I drank… a lot. A lot lot.
Nearly choked on my vomit in bed lot.
Vomited all over the bed lot.
I just woke up and realized there's vomit on my laptop lot.

God I feel like such an ass and I'm obviously not dead because I can't even get alcohol poisoning properly.
What a joke.

No. 276416

>>276405
I’m glad you’re still alive anon. Don’t do it. Tried a few times myself and it’s honestly not worth it. I kno this probably sounds like bullshit but it’s true. Sorry you’re struggling so much

No. 276430

>>276405
Leaving Las Vegas is fiction anon, and no ones wants to find your vomit-ridden corpse crawling with maggots. Get help.

No. 276435

I can't stand tradthots. I think women should be able to chose to stay at home if they like but lately I've had to deal with so many red pill tier girls that If I have to hear another happy homemaker telling all the boys how glad she is she embraced the feminine nature I might fucking scream. Like it's never just someone who just does the housework or something it's always some bitch who thinks career women are a personal threat and they go on and on about how all women would be happier if they embraced the joys of having 77 children and has a Red Pill stuck in their throats. It gets under my skin.

No. 276450

File: 1533458235247.jpeg (147.86 KB, 848x960, 24E370DE-F3E9-4E28-BFBD-C6D871…)

>>276435
Agreed. Literally every “trad” woman is in it for the male orbiters. It’s all a façade. If true “trad” women do exist, they’re amish.

No. 276457

>>276403

different anon but you might be zinc deficient. look into it.

No. 276458

>>276450
trad women are like feminist men kek

No. 276474

trust is such a fucking bitch, I don't think I'll ever get over it

No. 276476

File: 1533471884286.jpg (57.08 KB, 500x425, sad.jpg)

I had a job interview that went very well and I'm still 100% sure I won't get the job even though I'm perfectly qualified for it because fuck me I guess. I'm going on holidays next week, and if I get the answer and I don't get the job after all while I'm trying to chill and have fun I'll seriously cry for the rest of the year.

No. 276486

>>276403
No worries, it is pretty shitty to have (hypothyroidism for me) but honestly now that I'm on the meds I'm completely back to normal. I'm 5"3, before all this I was pushing 150 and now I maintain at 125-230. Call your doctor and good luck!

No. 276487

>>276486

lolling >230 i know its a typo tho

No. 276490

>>276380
I mean it's not as serious as the other ones but you are technically addicted to a drug. Yeah it's just ~weed~ but you're clearly addicted to it though. Why don't you go to therapy for your PTSD instead of using weed to make yourself feel better? Genuine question.

No. 276505

>>276490
Yeah anon, it's ridiculous that you're in a sobriety house for pot–honestly seems like a waste. I personally find nothing wrong with smoking weed as a replacement for meds the doctor gives you but if you can't live your life WITHOUT smoking it, you're probably addicted. I know I have a lot of problems with it too (like, 4-5 smoking sessions a day) so I completely understand where you're coming from.

No. 276506

>>276505
Let me add also–what's the point of sending someone to a sobriety house for something that's on the same lever as tobacco addiction? You don't send cigarette smokers to places like that, why do it for pot?

No. 276510

>>269962
>>276490
Thanks I am in therapy and I’ve stopped smoking. Therapy isn’t a cure all for PTSD.

No. 276511

>>276505
I mean I was definitely smoking way too much and not in a healthy way. I just don’t see it as the crux of my problem, my PTSD is and I’m finally getting the right treatment for it now

No. 276514

>>276511
You didn't stop smoking by choice and you just said you were going to smoke when you got out lol. I didn't say therapy was a cure all but it's a step in the right direction.

No. 276515

>>276514
Yeah I mean I didn’t stop smoking by choice but I guess I don’t understand your point

No. 276519

>>276515
I guess I was trying to say not to rely on it so much since at the end of the day it is still a drug. And to be dependent on them isn't really good.

No. 276525

>>276519
Yeah that makes sense.

No. 276528

>>276487
LMAO yeah my bad, *130

No. 276553

Fuck I'm going to off myself if this heat continues, I can not bear it anymore!? It is just not cooling down, for the love of god I can't get below 26°C in my apartment at night and it rises to 29°C during the day. Thursday they are predicting 38° fuck fuck fuck I'm going to have 32° in here!?
A/C are not the norm where I live (yet).

No. 276556

>>276553
I know that feel.

No. 276649

File: 1533507658601.jpeg (8.4 KB, 239x211, download (1).jpeg)

>going on international trip
>friend sends me link to cute shop list
>say thanks, bc I did ask for people to send me recs and thought she was doing that
>"So yeah. I'm going to need everything from this store. This keychain, stationary, etc."
>mfw she's just using me as a shopping service and I think it's rude

I don't mind getting souvenirs for people but…I think people could be a bit more subtle?
It's my vacation and ultimately I'm not going to stress over running around and getting people shit because they don't want to pay someone money to do it for them. And with what money? She hasn't mentioned paypaling me and I'm not fronting for someone I'm not super besties with. Lord, is this normal behavior? I'd feel like I would be imposing if I did this to somebody.

No. 276651

I'm nearly 23 and still haven't "found" myself. I have no idea who I really am and what I truly want. If I was a lolcow, anons would probably write that I'm a doormat who's got no personality of her own.

I constantly jump from one interest to another:
>couldn't decide what career to choose, currently study something I never thought I would do
My music taste changes so often, nearly daily: one minute I like kpop, the other I'm embarrassed by it and try to make myself hate it.
There was one band I was super into, I spend every single minute on them, the singer was my ultimate crush, but now I stopped listening to them completely. Music plays a big role in my life since it doesn't require me to go outside and have friends… just being on youtube and tumblr all day.
>I want to learn Japanese but am too lazy to do so, then I simpy tell myself that Japan isn't so great anyways and that I'd rather go to the US.
>One day I want to be cute like a Japanese girl, the next I rather follow Korean trends.
>I can't decide whether I want to be small and dainty like a ballerina, keep my skin pale or get a tan and spend hours watching exercise videos, deciding that I'm gonna get really fit and strong.
>I don't know whether I want to be elegant or youthful and natural.
>Should I get really active and go outside more or rather spend time doing artsy stuff?
In the end I always end up doing nothing.
Before some of you say that having many interests is great, for me personally it hinders me extremely, I literally don't get anything done at all. I feel like if I don't decide on who I really am, instead of always jumping from one "idol" to another and copying them, I will never truly get better and more confident. Any idea what I should do?

No. 276654

>>276651
It sounds like… something. I'm no psychologist but it reminds me of something

No. 276655

>>276649
That person sounds rude af. Normally you'd ask nicely if it doesn't bother the person traveling, and definitely mention money if you're asking for more than just some souvenir.
Don't take shit from her Anon.

No. 276668

>>276651
You don't find yourself through fandoms, despite what tumblr and Twitter may have you believe. Think about your ideal career or hobby. Notice repeated themes in things you like (sounds like cute stuff and pop music).

You could get interested in fashion or in going to gigs in real life. You need to explore the real world as grounding for who you will become later on. Moving through interests is normal at your age. And no 23 year old has found themselves. But there are clues in your interests which will lead you toward future passions.

No. 276717

Im a little devastated right now…i just felt guilty and disappointed at the same time.I really want to study classical oil painting but the only,i really meant only art uni here only teach us impressionism,which is totally 2 different things (Please keep in mind i live in a third world country,there's no private atelier around the area) and the student's work,needless to say,was pretty bad,scenic and still life were the most common theme.It wasnt what i had imagined at all,the best thing about this is when i realize the harsh truth right before i apply for the uni.I should've studied designing…eventhough i fucking hate it…

No. 276719

I miss my friends so, so much.

No. 276724

I have really really awful periods and immense pms but I'm way too scared to go to an ob/gyn. I'm 20 and I've never had an examine "down there." I'm so socially awkward and the thought of someone rooting around in my vagine is my worst nightmare, &I it doesn't help that I have…trauma associated with that. I know going to a female dr will be so much easier than a male but I'm a lesbian so it's not like it'll be much more comfortable.I know I need to grow up but shit man.

No. 276725

>>276651
Wanna know a secret anon? No one knows who they are at 23. Shit, even 40. Humans don't have one specific interest or theme throughout our whole lives. We're flexible, the things we like and our personality are always changing, and that's a good thing. Don't put so much pressure on yourself, just let yourself take in things naturally. You'd miss out on so much in life if you didn't explore different hobbies and passions. You're still so young, you have plenty of time to "find yourself."

No. 276731

>>276553

reading this stuff makes me so sad. we get 45 degree days in the summer in australia. i long to complain about 38 degree days.

No. 276743

>>276731
Im middle Europe it's also been way over 30 degrees for weeks (or even months) now. That might sound not much to an Australian, but don't forget that our bodies need to adapt to climate as cold as -20 or even less degrees within a couple of months as well - something you don't have to.
Our grass looks like hay, the trees are looking dead, leaves start to come off as if it's fall already, we're simply not used to this, so even if it doesn't sound much to you, it's tough on us.

No. 276745

>>276724
Maybe try going on the pill? That helped immensely with my period pain and my doctor didn't look down there when she prescribed it to me. She just felt my abdomen and asked me a few questions. I went to a family doctor too, not an ob/gyn.

No. 276749

I'm feeling home sick for a culture is not even mine, it sucks.
My dad is a religious groupie that forced me and my mother to convert to judaism and study the religion and culture for more or less 10 years. Only him ended up converting but dropping it the end.
Now I'm craving jewish food but don't know how to make it, have no where to buy it, no synagogue to go to for the food and a huge hole that cannot be filled because of my
unstable parents. Jewish stores are not a thing where I live and they are super secretive here. Fuck this, I just want those dumb raw fish cakes and the meat and beans stew ;_;

No. 276760

>>276749
>but don't know how to make it
Google a dish and find a recipe then. It might not be perfect at first but it's exciting to make it yourself.

No. 276762

>>276731
Aren't AC's normal in Australia? It isn't here. Also in just a few months more it's gon be freezing.

No. 276764

>>276762

if you have a new house it's more than likely. there are a lot of places without AC, though.

No. 276765

File: 1533543495574.jpg (361.87 KB, 1920x1440, rovus arctic cooler.jpg)

>>276553

If you do not have A/C at home, buy yourself this mini cooler. It won't cool the entire room, instead put it nearby where you are. It cost me about 40 euro.

I'm a poor student from Yurop and I live in an attic apartment without A/C so this has been a life saver.

No. 276767

>>276762
Depends where you are. It’s pretty normal in WA but not in Victoria.

Remember that the entire country isn’t hot. We have snowy mountains and pine forests and shit as well.

>>276765
They can be really expensive to run. It’s not worth it if it jacks up your electricity bill to cool down a portion of a room.

No. 276769

>>276765
Hey, I'd consider buying this.
Does it really increase the electricity bill that drastically like this anon >>276767 said?

No. 276773

>>276767
>>276769

The one I used (rovus arctic cooler) doesn't use up much electricity at all, my electricity bill pretty much stayed the same.

Though again, don't expect it to cool the room, it can only keep you cool if you place it nearby. Definitely better than an electric fan.

No. 276775

>>276773

Oh yeah and I've read since it's an evaporation cooler, it means it will work well in a dry climate but not so good in a humid climate.

Summer here are very hot but also dry so I have no problems with it, but anons living in a hot humid places might have.

No. 276778

>>276773
Thanks. I'm getting one pronto.

No. 276793

Instagrams explore thing is full of shit that’s in Arabic and Malaysian and idk why when I’ve never searched anything related to either language or culture.
The ASMR videos were annoying enough with everyone and their dog cutting up soap or playing with slime like it was prime entertainment, now it’s a bunch of chicks in hijabs babbling on or memes that look like they were made by five year olds.

It’s so shitty.

No. 276797

>>276793
The explore tab reacts to what you normally look at, including who you follow. If those are the things you open a lot (even if it's out of curiosity), it'll show you more of the same.
My explore tab used to be woke black chicks shitting on everything until I figured out what was the cause, now it's almost exclusively Japanese chinchilla and hedgehog accounts.

No. 276798

My life has gone to shit.

Elementary school:
>lots of friends, best in entire class
High school:
>was slim, got told to model often
>good grades, at least some friends
>motivated, learned 4 languages, read loads
>left home at 6.45 came back at 5, still managed to play the piano for a few hours, go to Karate class or jog, watch my favourite TV show, had a beauty routine and went to bed before midnight
Now:
>fat
>no friends, mediocre grades
>currently holidays, only work part time 3 afternoons a week, so lots of free time
>can't get anyhing done
>I'm a slob, I try learning Japanese for nearly a year now and still know barely any words, because I'm too lazy
>have 2 exams coming up and 2 papers to write
>haven't touched the piano in years, haven't exercised for a month

How do I fix this? I have so much time, but don't use it. I want to do so many things, but can't bring myself to do so.

No. 276799

>>276798

if you're not going to actively get up and say "i'm going to do this today" whatever it may be, you have to resign yourself to the fact that this will stay your life, and you will stay unhappy. you're the only one who is in your way. you won't progress if you don't realise that. you're only one who can make things better. so do it. make sure you're nourishing your body. typical fast food will only slow you down. irony.

No. 276800

>>276797
I mostly follow sewing and baking accounts and open posts with books, cakes, or handmade clothes. I’ll open shit posts to use the show me less of this option.

I checked out the humour tag and I think that’s what has fucked it up. It’s a shit system.

No. 276801

>>276798
Is it depression?
If not, you need to cultivate discipline and do the things you need to without motivation. Motivation is unreliable, discipline is as permanent as you choose it to be.

No. 276811

I recently moved to a different city and started a new school here. I feel like shit because I'm now living 10 hours away from my boyfriend, family and all my friends. I feel so lonely in my new apartment because I got used to living with someone as I lived with together with my boyfriend for almost four years.

I know the first days are the most difficult but I just can't even enjoy my school because I feel so lonely and lost in this city. Fucking hell.

No. 276822

Everyone talks about how obnoxious American tourists are (and I’m not here to deny that) but as American, I find that some European tourists can be equally insufferable. I work at a host in a restaurant and a lot of them waltz in, straight up ignoring me, just sit at any table, ignoring the system that we have in place in regards to seating. And 9 times out of 10, they want “coffee” (lololol we only serve regular coffee and it sucks ass). I’m aware that’s how restaurants are run in Europe but is it so fucking hard for people (Americans, Europeans, whoever really) to grasp that you’re in a different country, things are done differently here? It’s extremely arrogant to not assume that.

I know not all Europeans are like that but still.

No. 276828

File: 1533565324615.gif (9.38 MB, 350x233, 85488699034.gif)

I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing but hear me out, I need to let go of this.

So my bf is 27 and still doesn't have a permit or a driver's license. His dad has been dead for years and his mom is a deadbeat who never stressed the importance of these things.
However, if you're wondering if he ever had the opportunity to save up for a car and get a license, yes he has. He lived with me and my parents for a brief stint after I was done with school and looking for a job. He made a promise to save for a vehicle, after turning down advice to just get a motorized scooter. Yet instead of saving, he had fibbed to me and my parents in order to move out early because he didn't like living with them (I partially agree because my mom is legitimately miserable and insufferable). In reality, he only saved for a deposit for our current apartment. This was about three years ago.

He's still saved nothing. Up until 5 months ago he worked at a bar that was a 10 minute walk away, but he was fired and the business closed. Now he works two service jobs; the furthest one is 6.9 miles away from our place, and the other job is 4 miles away from that, and usually another 4.5 miles drive home from there.
He's lucky to live so close, but he refuses to purchase a scooter still. I can't drive him and pick him up all the time.

He chooses to Uber. He told me as of a few months ago that Uber was costing him $400 a month. I urged him to get a scooter (they only cost $400-$500 used), but he didn't want to. Our friends offered him a cheap deal on one but he didn't take it. It's like he doesn't want to be seen on one.

This month he's been acting pissy, and it seems to be money-related. Last night I asked him why and apparently he's now paying $600 as of last month for Uber since they increased their rates.
He then said the reason why he's stressed is that I need to give him more money for rent to make up for it. My job is stressful enough, so I said fuck no. It's not my fault that he shirked off saving for a vehicle up until this point in his life and now he's facing consequences.

I finally said "So will you use the scooter if I buy you one myself?" and he responds "Well I suppose so…..but I just want a car."
Am I the only one who thinks he's being a baby about this?
Paying a one time $500 for the scooter and a helmet is cheaper than paying $600 a month for fucking Uber! I'm sorry if he thinks it's lame to be seen on one or whatever the fuck his mental holdup is (I seriously don't understand what's wrong with a scooter), but he can't bitch about money if he's being stupid about money.
Am I right about this? This whole fiasco is blowing my fucking mind.

No. 276830

>>276828
Just get a bike, those are not distances you need motorization for. My ex is 45 and still has no license.

No. 276833

>>276830
He won't do it.
I really don't know what to do.

No. 276845

>>276833
A pedal bike would be good. If you don't already have one get one and cycle together for fun her might out two and two together and figure out he could get to work with minimal effort.

No. 276846

>>276828
I agree with >>276830 I don't see how a regular bike from Walmart would be an issue. 600 in uber? Df I take an uber to work sometimes (I'd say I spin about 100-130 a month which is fucking ridiculous to be honest I need to stop) but I guess that number would go up if I was using it every day. Do you guys not have buses or something where you live? That's what I use to get to work, but to be fair I have a permit and I am working on my license… but I'm only 23 so it isn't THAT bad. He's being a baby with this, tell him to clean up his act or leave him.

No. 276847

>>276828
you're 100% right and got nervous just reading about this

No. 276849

>>276846
We live in a suburban sprawl so there's no public transport. Tbh there was some public transport where we used to live so I think that's why he put it off for so long.
Here, it's kinda hilly, and we're in the south so the heat right now and daily thunderstorms don't make it the most ideal for biking.

When we first moved to the area he did bike, but eventually he stopped doing it. He hated it because it made him super sweaty and tired. Now that he has had a taste of being driven everywhere, even if it means $600 a month, he doesn't want to go back.
I think he would have bought a bike by now if the money situation were that dire, he's just trying to make me feel guilty about this situation when I don't feel like I've done anything wrong. I've been nothing but supportive.

No. 276855

>>276849
>> Is willing to spend 600 a month and bitch at you when you don't want to give him more money
Drop this bitch anon. Tell him to get off his ass and get his fucking license.

No. 276862

I just figured out one of the reasons I may be so against dd/lg is because I was literally molested by my own father. It's not really something I can share with anyone, it's too disgusting.
I act normal toward him, but I haven't seen him face to face in years, and I am glad about it. He messaged me some stupid fucking song about wanting to kiss a lover and said it's how he felt about me because he "missed me so much". I just acted natural, pretended it was sweet and repeatedly told myself he didn't mean it "that way", and also when he uses romantic emojis, it's just him being a little tech-illiterate, but it was all on fucking purpose. And I can't say anything. What makes things worse is that he's something of a public figure in my country.
I just hope I never have to meet him IRL again.

No. 276866

>>276862
I'm so sorry, anon.
>And I can't say anything.
Why not? Not sure what situation consequences you're looking at.

No. 276867

>>276866
It's just not worth it. At best, I'll be told to forget about it or that I must be mistaken. At worst, I'll be called a liar and cast out of my home/family.
I don't really have any support system or people who would believe me, just online friends who live in different continents, and he's been supporting me and my mother for years now. My mom also basically WKs him for any and everything he does/says, so there's no point in going to her about it.
In a way, I think she actually tried to protect me by not letting me sleep in the same room as him since I was little. It obviously wasn't fool-proof, though.

No. 276868

File: 1533576541766.gif (4.25 MB, 768x432, anigif_original-8109-143733935…)

>>276862
I am so sorry anon.
I wish you could come out and ruin his life. Too bad that those situations rarely work in favor of the victims.
I just hate when scum like this gets away with abusing others.

Your happiness is the most important thing, I wish you all the best and I hope that you will find peace

No. 276871

File: 1533577459811.gif (1.39 MB, 300x300, hug.gif)

>>276868
Thanks, anon. You're kind.

No. 276884

I love the community here. I feel like I fit in, in a way I don’t irl.

I would be devastated if I found out someone I know irl posts here. This is my safe space.

No. 276891

File: 1533581564130.gif (531.99 KB, 500x275, JTx3.gif)

I just took another point and called sick from my call center job. Ever since they fired a bunch of folks and restructured shifts, the calls have been back to back. Today because of weather-related issues there were already 500+ calls holding according to coworkers on the group page. It would be like that all day.
It should have been an easy day, I even had a business meeting towards the end of my shift that would have gotten me off the phones. Although maybe if call volume were to proceed as is the business meeting is going to be canceled anyway.

I lied to my sweet manager that I was too sick to leave the toilet. I turned my phone silent because I don't even want to look at her text, if she does message back. Now I'm sitting on the couch hating myself but feeling relieved I don't have to deal with angry and stupid people today. My desire to avoid that place outweighs my conscience of being a liar at this point, I hate it.

Edit: Well maybe the toilet thing is a half truth. The call volume made me so anxious my guts are emptying on and off.

No. 276894

>>276891

Is this the airline call centre anon?
I empathise with your posts as I work in the industry too (but at an agency). My work conditions and wage are pretty damn great (especially for this country) but I am still struggling as sometimes waiting for a phone call is unbearable due to AVPD and anxiety. Sometimes I have to take sick leave due to being to scared to face the world.
I can't imagine how worse I would feel if our clients were not polite most of the time. It's still hard due to a lot of data needing to be processed by my depressed brain and having to speak with people.
I felt that I should quit but then I got a promotion and my pay is just too good too leave.

Much love to you, sorry for rambling about myself.

No. 276897

>>276894
Y-yes. Thank you for the kind words and understanding, anon. It feels a bit silly that my posts are becoming so identifiable, but I figure it's better to vent anonymously about these things.
I've thought about leaving to agencies, I've heard some of them are great and the pay is better.

No. 276902

>>276897
I know that a lot of people I work with used to work at airline call center and it was madness inducing. I think it will be easy for you to move to an agency especially if you already know the booking system that they use (and if not, knowing any is a plus and they will train you).

I (very rarely) get annoyed at airline agents that refuse to help us with involuntary ticket exchanges when we have to wait hours to proceed etc but reading your posts I can imagine how overworked you are and I am sorry.

Except for certain African airline which drops the phone on purpose all the time, fuck those guys lfmao. I have no idea what do they get paid for.

No. 276906

I used to have an eating disorder, it has been going on for the past 7 months. I was already skinny as is before it started but I guess I never noticed. I'd always just look down at my thighs and think "Those are huge! Do I really look like that?" Starting to excercise everyday, eat a banana and a fiber bar for the entire day, even sometimes I wouldn't eat anything. And after it all got really bad only then I noticed the change in my body. My skin started peeling, my eyes were sunken in, I was pale. And wanna guess what I did? Started dieting for acne. I even tried telling my family something was wrong, but they always played it off as if nothing was interesting to eat to me. That I was picky.

There was a time where I set a goal for myself that I wanted to see my skin stick to the bones in my fingers, that then I'd be happy with myself.

Ever since I'd actually realized what I'd done to my body, I've been trying my best to eat, stuffing my face until I'm full. It has been pretty hard because of how low I've gotten, I can't really eat much before my body starts hurting. I still find myself having those terrible thoughts off and on. And with my mental health declining it's harder to keep up with eating.

Everything I do just seems like a distraction nowadays and I find myself caring less about life. That's the truth of it.

No. 276915

I'm financially unstable, 19, single (nor do I even want to be in a relationship), and my mental health is shit but I have baby fever so bad. My sister and her two kids, 3 and 1, live with me so I know how kids are, but I still just want one so bad. I'm not going to anytime soon, but every time I see a woman with a new baby I just wish I had one.
I just have to wait till the day I get my life together to have one, but who knows how long that will be.

No. 276924

File: 1533586422668.gif (927.84 KB, 500x250, giphy.gif)

recently made an effort to reach out to my dad in person because after years of us being separated by distance, I decided I really wanted to make an effort at connection and making up for my childhood. We still talk a lot and I was under the impression he cared and listened to what I said, but lately he seemed to not be being totally real about how he’s doing.

I actually went in person to talk to him (flew across the country) about how he’s doing and I was mentally getting excited like, yes finally, the connection I’ve always wanted and instead he made it really clear he has no idea who I am, what’s going on with my health (I’ve been very sick), and basically thinks that I’m a piece of shit. He narc raged at me, literally like Onision, about shit that is far from real (I haven’t wished him happy birthday for 10 years?). I actually couldn’t believe it was happening, he was spouting a completely made up narrative of our relationship and timeline and making me sound like a hideous human being when all I’ve ever done is try to hold onto a relationship he let go of when I was a kid by letting my stepmother abuse me and essentially forcing me to end his half custody because I was scared of going over to his house. I’ve never actually sat back and been like, “Oh my dad fucked up” because he was always held aloft as this hero in my mind.

I got home and he proceeded to continue to emotionally batter me for days, screaming at me all sorts of shit about how I need to learn how to be a good person and making up all this stuff that I had done wrong that makes no sense, like on repeat, and I don’t know why I kept picking up the phone except I kept hoping he would come to his senses or this was like a crazy dream. Like, I never realized it before, how could I not realize he was this person when I read about these people and their behaviors? Suddenly I’m understanding how much I’ve based my opinion of myself on pleasing him, and I was finally getting my shit together and I’ve spiraled down because this huge insane thing has happened and I feel sick about it and don’t know how to deal with it. Whenever another conversation occurs where I try to say he said something in a previous conversation, he starts telling me I’ve heard him wrong or I misunderstood him or that didn’t happen. Don’t blow it out of proportion. I start to not know what’s happening, feeling more and more depressed. He acts like everything’s fine and nothing is wrong, but keeps pulling me back into it randomly.

Suddenly all these family members are coming out and telling me all these stories about his behavior and what type of person he actually is, and I’m understanding a lot more about what happened to me as a kid and how he let it happen and he’s not blameless. But a part of my heart is holding onto him so bad and I hate myself and I hate that I can’t just admit he’s a piece of shit and he let bad shit happen to me and he’s a narc and he’s treating me like shit. He even went as far as to call me the morning after a night when I got really suicidal (I called my mom, she told him because she believed it might stop him) and basically he wanted me to reassure him he was a good person and validate that ‘nothing was wrong’ so he could turn it around and scream at my mom about how we were fine and she’s a bitch, she’s crazy, etc. He didn’t care that I was suicidal, literally he called me just to ask me if we were okay and then proceeded to tell me everything I was doing wrong again.

Sorry for massive post I’m just lost and stuck in my head about this and people keep saying just cut him out of your life, but even if that is what I do eventually I don’t feel like that’s what I can do right now or how to start separating myself from his influence or opinions.

No. 276932

>>276924
Your father's a bastard narc–not that you needed me to tell you.

It blows my mind how you flew out to see him, yet he tried to gaslight and project on you anyway.
I want to assure you anon, that for all his verbal abuse, the reason why he's being so nasty towards you is because he knows deep down he's the one who done fucked up.
He knows he hasn't been there for you.
He knows he's the actual piece of shit.
That's why he wants to convince you that everything is your and everyone else's fault, and why he craves the validation that everything is okay between you when it isn't.
He's running from himself, trying to believe that what he's done isn't bad and that he's still a good person.
He doesn't want to admit he's a garbage human being, and so he'd rather throw his own child under the bus to satisfy his ego.

At least you recognize he's a narc, but I really feel you should take the final step and go no contact.
Even if you can't do it right now, you need to commit to doing that as a goal eventually. Or else you'll never be free from his mental prison.
I severed all ties with my narc dad when I was a preteen so roughly since ~2006. Even then I knew intuitively that well-adjusted parents don't treat their children so awfully, or pit their kids against another parent. I bet if I tried to reach out to my dad today, he'd treat me just like yours did. I refuse to give him the satisfaction.

Once a narc, always a narc. Please take care of yourself anon.

No. 276964

>>276867
> he's been supporting me and my mother for years now
That's a difficult situation. I'm sorry.

No. 276965

>>276915
Find a man with his shit together who wants a family?

No. 276966

I accidentally posted a post sex nude to my Snapchat story (My face was covered) and it was up for 15 minutes before someone called me


I want to die lmao

No. 276986

>>276966
That sucks anon, sorry. Hopefully not many people saw it. It’s the risk you assume by taking nudes on your phone though.

No. 277008

>>276966
>>276986

Next time you take nudes put your phone in airplane mode, it keeps you from being able to accidentally upload them anywhere.

No. 277081

File: 1533626722744.gif (1.92 MB, 540x304, kumiko oumae.gif)

This'll sound petty, but I really wish the trend of liking traps would die already. The past three people I've liked thought I was worthless because I'm a female and not a trap. I don't know how I manage to run into 3 people in a row that all have the same fetish, it's like I'm cursed. To make matters worse, I thought maybe it was just some gross fetish that mostly only dudes have, but last person who I liked was a girl. It's gotten to the point where any image or meme with a trap in it ruins my whole day. It's getting to the point where I hate the way I was born, when deep down all I really want is someone that loves me more than anything else. I don't really know what to do to alleviate a problem that eats at me everyday. Maybe I shouldn't spend as much time in anime circles anymore, and I don't know how to cope with it.

No. 277089

>>276924
That's really rough anon, I'm sorry.
It's completely okay and understandable to take some time to grieve the loss of your father (which is basically what this is). Do talk to a therapist or someone you trust about this if you have the chance. I think the only thing you can really do is to cease communication, and give it some time, and it'll get better, slow and steady.

No. 277090

>>276965
Did you even read their post?
>financially unstable,
>19
>mental health is shit
Please don't act on any of those impulses you're feeling.

No. 277109

I genuinely really despise rich people. I can't take them seriously. I know they have their own issues and whatever, but I just cannot feel any sort of sympathy towards people who hoard money they don't use when every single one of my problems could be solved if I wasn't poor. When I hear about Roch celebrities buying houses they don't live in and wearing shit that costs more than my rent I can't help thinking so many people like me could use that money for important shit, like bills and medication. One person couldn't possibly need all the money these people are hoarding and couldn't possibly spend in their lifetimes. It makes me really mad.

No. 277110

>>277081
>Maybe I shouldn't spend as much time in anime circles anymore
Well duh. Those people are so far gone inside their delusions they'll never realize "traps" don't exist. The fact people rejected you because you "weren't a trap" sounds like bullshit too, either they're mentally ill, or they just didn't want a girlfriend/you as a girlfriend and used the trap thing as an excuse.
Stop socializing with crazies like this and do something you love instead, maybe get around to watching something that has been on your backlog for a long time or something.

No. 277114

File: 1533638924106.jpg (47.05 KB, 200x420, 1531508892158.jpg)

>>277109
I completely relate, I don't feel any sympathy for them either. All the rich people I know are spoiled and don't realize that living like they do isn't the norm.
>I know they have their own issues and whatever
Often when a rich person tells you that rich people have issues too, money doesn't solve everything to make you feel guilty about your opinion, they mean that sometimes they feel sad about trivial shits that are often their fault or responsibility, not things like them having terrible physical or mental health or living or witnessing traumatizing things. It's infuriating when they do that shit.

No. 277121

>>277114
>>277109

there are some illnesses that obviously can't be cured by money… rich people can and very often do suck at relating, but don't disregard the fact that they are human too, they don't necessarily even have it easier, there are pros and cons, as to any way of life. have compassion for all people :)(:))

No. 277135

>>277121
They absolutely do have it easier though. That's not to say they can't suffer, but they can suffer without having to worry about paying the bills at the same time. Money doesn't buy happiness, but it buys security, time, opportunity, and frees up so much emotional and mental burden that they can focus on dealing with their issues much more easily than a poor person.

No. 277137

File: 1533644617456.png (212.83 KB, 500x374, 1453336619497.png)

>>277121
See that shit? That's what I'm talking about when I say that rich people say stupid shit most of the time. Although I'm 99.9% sure that post was sarcasm

No. 277138

I had a friend who was rich.
She wasn't a bad person but obviously grossly spoiled by life.
She would lecture me how I needed to cut my hair every three months for it to be healthy, ask me to join her expenisve gym, tell me how life was all about travelling and trying new things.
Like look, it's great you're having so much fun, but some people's parents can't afford to put their kids into theatre, music lessons, sports, gym, language schools while taking them on cruises all over the world every single summer at the same time.

No. 277140

I think I might have addiction to social media.
I was a very lonely and misunderstood kid which along with being tech-savvy led me to creating my own blog at a very young age. I would talk in it like I would in my diary about anything and everything, but mostly about my worries which I had a lot of, being a mentally ill kid from an abusive family. Basically I vented. A lot.
As more social media were introduced, I got on a lot of them. Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter and everywhere I continued this trend of spilling my guts everywhere`and basically whining and complaining to be frank. I got some internet friends over the years of blogging, I never reached any type of popularity and the most following I have is 50 people that follow me on insta. It's about 10-15 people on the places I actually blog at. Pathetic, I know.
But over the years I got addicted to that feeling you get when you click the "post" button. I would create absolutely meaningless stupid posts or just post songs only to feel like I am reaching out to people, that I speak to them and socialize.
I don't think I have to say that I stayed a very lonely, withdrawn and awkward individual irl and I can barely hold a conversation in the wild.
I used to speak a lot on imageboards but I would mostly frequent male-dominated ones which are cancer and made me even more withdrawn with people outside of the internet because I thought all people were this edgy disgusting fucks, but that's besides the point.
What I am is completely sick of this lifestyle of continuously broadcasting every single thing that I do to others. It's conceited and in the long run rereading what i posted makes me feel worse because it's all sadness all the time. Regurgitating misery sure is not beneficial to my health.
So I deleted my twitter and blog too deactivated facebook since I don't even fucking need it, but now it almost feels like an itch, to write something and post something.
For fucks sakes, it's been 2 days without social media, I never even realised I am that dependent on it.
I want to be more self-reliant, I want to be stronger, I want to learn how to deal with my problems without requiring constant commentary and input from people around me that read my posts.
I guess it's really ironic I'm now posting about this here. But at least nobody here knows who I am.

No. 277141

>>277140

How did you decide which platform to post what update?

No. 277143

>>277141
Let's see. Twitter for minute stuff, tumblr for fandom stuff, personal blog for mental illness stuff, insta for random shit and facebook for trying to keep up with my social circle.
So I spread myself out pretty thin, but still came on very strong.

No. 277144

>>277143

Interesting. Thanks for replying. I don't use social media anymore. You'll be better off if you can stick with it.

No. 277145

>>277140
I can relate to being on social media a lot and barely having any followers. I did have mutuals on tumblr and twitter and we would talk on a regular basis but they all unfollowed me or blocked me for one reason or another so I feel like I should really deactivate some accounts and maybe keep fb or instagram to be able to contact friends and people I know irl.
>Regurgitating misery sure is not beneficial to my health.
It's really not, some of my former mutuals agreed that spending so much time complaining about every little things online for years made them way more anxious or depressed than they used to be.

No. 277147

>>277145
I have mutuals on tumblr I talk to sometimes, but to be frank, it makes me anxious a lot because with tumblr I'm always afraid of saying the wrong thing. Like, two of my closest tumblr mutuals are ftm and I… don't necessarily support the whole tumblr trans rhetoric which makes me feel like a disgusting fraud talking to them. Like I'm some sort of wolf in sheeps clothing that is not actually interested in them as humans and is ready to throw them under the bus because I'm an evil terf that boils trans people alive by the tumblr standarts.

No. 277150

>>277147
Funny you say that because the reason why I started distancing myself from my ex-mutuals and got unfollowed or blocked by them was similar. I was mostly posting and reblogging about fandoms as well and my mutuals became more and more interested in SJW stuff in fandoms, so they all left me alone when I complained about transbians, fakebois and immature children in fandoms who try to police everyone and everything. Before that I was a bit anxious as well because I grew very close to my mutuals when they were still normal and I didn't want to lose my online friends so I barely posted anything interesting. Good riddance but at the same time using tumblr or twitter seems pretty useless now that I barely have followers anymore and they don't even interact with me. And I don't feel like commenting on people's posts anymore or befriending anyone since you never know what kind of crazy assholes you can find online. Some of my mutuals I have are irl friends who barely use social media except fb so I might as well delete almost everything.

>two of my closest tumblr mutuals are ftm, etc.

Honestly you shouldn't force yourself to still be in contact with them if communicating with them makes you uncomfortable because it feels like walking on eggshells. Doing this with my ex-mutuals made me distance myself from them anyway so there are chances that could be the case for you and those mutuals.

No. 277151

>>277150
I barely search for people to interact with myself because more often than not I find assholes. I'm a sociophobe and have a mental illness that hinders my capacity to feel emotion and interact with others, so I don't even know how I got to have the followers I have because I barely ever give any feedback and the only way to talk to me is to start a conversation yourself.
I guess that's why I got addicted in the first place. Social media gave me an illusion of interaction, made me feel that somebody out there listens to what I have to say, made me feel that I belong and that I'm not alone. When, in the end, I am the loneliest I have ever been.

No. 277168

>get temp to perm job at a nice company nearby
>job is super cool and everyone is friendly
>it's in shipping department and i have experience
>learn super quick and can work on my own the first afternoon
>on my feet all day so in some pain the first week
>think it will go away soon
>toes and leg starts feeling weird
>toes are numb, possibly have some nerve issues
>really sharp pains in my leg
>can barely walk now, let alone stand for 8 hours
>have to quit abruptly

i'm currently sitting at home crying while my leg and foot feels like i got hit with a bat.

No. 277169

>>277151
I think you'd feel lonely online even with a lot of followers anyway. I often see accounts with hundred or thousands followers but when you check their posts it's obvious it's always the same people who interact with these accounts because they're already friends and posts often have only a few likes and retweets most of them time. I also feel like acting like an asshole online or holier-than-thou is so popular that when you type like a normal person people don't really care about you. But don't force yourself to act a certain way to have more followers, it's not even guaranteed it'll work anyway or you'll attract other assholes.

Do you have rl friends? If you do then maybe you should make a group conversation on fb, skype, line or whatever and use it all to shitpost, it's way better. That's what I do with my friends, we use line and post stupid shit or just vent all the time, send links to things from social media and we actually have discussions that way because we're all sick of social media while still being used to using them.

No. 277183

>>277169
The thing is I don't want a lot of followers, I think. With my constant stream of negativity I feel like a huge downer and a drain at other's people's lives. So I tend to self-isolate a lot, but it doesn't seem to work online, only irl.
I have a circle of people I meet on occasion and we have a group chat, but it's mostly quiet with occasional memes. I can't vent to them, I don't feel like I'm worth their time.
Just posting for random people on the internet always seemed to do it for me and I got too reliant on that.

No. 277197

I hate my job but I can't quit since money. I am unhappy in my relationship but can't break up since my boyfriend is dependent on me and it's my fault. I want to just escape this life already but I can't.

No. 277198

>>277197
You can break up, though.

No. 277201

>>277197
>can't break up since my boyfriend is dependent on me
that's not true, though. you can break up. you don't want to break up.

No. 277296

Someone in a group was going on complaining about how (white) people don't listen to her educating them on race and privilege. So I said, I'm glad I'm not white. Everyone in the group got mad and people accused me of being divisive.

Bitches, you guys are saying this sort of shit day in and day out. But why is it that my comment crossed the line?

No. 277300

>>277296
For the record, I'm not actually anti-white. I'm just annoyed at these people complaining about white people day in and day out.

No. 277305

>>277296
>So I said, I'm glad I'm not white.

Lmao, good for you anon. People like that have got to realize they're not revolutionaries nor "educators" just because they spend their time screeching in peoples' ears about their complaints day in and out. There's more to it than that, just like there's more to being divisive than making jokes that take the piss out of people.

No. 277328

>>277114
>> they feel sad about trivial shits that are often their fault or responsibility, not things like them having terrible mental health or living or witnessing traumatizing things.
Because you have money doesn't mean they don't have mental health issues, holy shit anon you sound retarded.

No. 277336

>put off going to doctor forever because crippling anxiety
>freak out internally before seeing doctor
>finally go to doctor
>everything is fine
>I'm not going to die
>I'm not even sick

Is this even winning at this point?

No. 277342

>>277168
Go to the hospital

No. 277346

>be me
>living in an hostel while I look for a flat and a job
>can't live with parents because we don't get along
>dad is pratically saying he'd sell his liver to have me out
>all ok flats are too expensive and will require a flate mate
>only one week into hostel living
>can't take all the people anymore
>freaking out about having to share a living space once again
>meanwhile no job is calling me back
Just end me

No. 277365

>>277328
The thing about mental health issues though is that people who are rich can also afford better treatment, while poor people might not get any treatment. I had to stop seeing my therapist regularly because I couldn't afford it anymore, when I was mentally and physically at my lowest and having the worst family issues I've had in a long time. My mental health significantly declined. If I had money, I could afford to see my therapist. Better yet, if I had money, most of the stress sources would be solved and perhaps I wouldn't even need therapy.

No. 277373

>>277346
Anon, flatmates aren't so bad. You can establish rules about personal space and ask them to respect that. Have a lock on your room door. If there isn't one installed and your not allowed to install one I believe there are removable solutions, like deadlocks with stickers instead of screws, etc. Have a food and drink stash in your room so you don't have to get out as often.

Keep applying to jobs. Apply to as many as possible. One is going to stick eventually. If you have to take a job that is a bit rubbish at first so you can get your shit together, take it and keep looking for another job in the meantime. You can also try to hustle a bit online for extra cash, like on r/slavelabor. If you have anything to offer, try websites like fiverr. If you can draw or write, try taking commissions.

You'll get through it eventually. Hang in there.

No. 277378

>>277305
It wasn't a joke. I think i wanted to say it because I wanted to make people bad for being white. The person complaining is a "white-passing" half-Latino woman.

I think most people just want to worry about their own shit and not be bothered feeling bad about stuff that is out of anyone's control. These people are like church ladies who are always complaining about other people "sinning".

No. 277397

>>277342
Don't worry anon, I'm going. I just wanted to wait for my bf to get home.

No. 277405

>>277397
Give us an update if that's not too much?

No. 277428

>>277405
Will do, thanks for your concern!

No. 277508

>>277405
Reporting back. I have a bunion apparently, and a pinched nerve. Need surgery for the bunion, nd possibly the nerve if it doesn't resolve. Ugh…

No. 277513

File: 1533685039093.jpg (11.07 KB, 264x274, 1438833539476.jpg)

>be me
>feel like writing and roleplaying again
>find active forum with high standards
>nice
>make account and start profile
>make small talk with others on site chat
>this place seems cool
>get message
>'hey anon, here's a discord with a bunch of site members'
>oh neat they like me
>join discord
>it's weird and kind of spergy
>feel like a cat trying to join a club for dogs
>just completely not the kind of atmosphere you would enjoy
>reconsider everything
>feelsbadman.jpg

The sad part is I probably still would have been excited if I hadn't been invited to chat, but seeing a part of the active community and how they interact is just a total turn off for me.

No. 277518

>>277513
Lol
What kind of weird are they? Tumblr type or 4chan type?

No. 277526

>>277518
More like 4chan. Seems kind of male dominated in feeling, and maybe that's what's throwing me off. All the roleplay communities I was part of in the past had more women. And idk, even when chats in those communities got silly, it never seemed that off-putting?

No. 277548

Everything I cooked tonight tasted like shit. Also I keep putting off finishing paperwork for the next semester of uni, so my window for getting into classes is shortening. But my dumb monkey brain keeps thinking that if I don’t do anything, I won’t find out that I did really fuck myself over.

No. 277582

My fiance and I used to have a rocky relationship. For around a year, it was at the point where he was just getting drunk and beating the shit out of me nearly every day. I left, I went back, and there have been only a handful of times he's hurt me since then, and I'm reasonably content with this being the future. He proposed, I accepted. I may be the biggest idiot on the planet, but I am happy with how my life is.

Something that keeps bothering me is a comment my mother made. During the time I had left him, thinking it was for good, I got very drunk at a bar one night and ended up randomly calling my mother, who lives thousands of miles away. She was understandably concerned that her daughter was apart from her partner drunk and alone in the middle of the night, and asked what was going on. I said, after never being open with her once about the ongoing abuse, 'You know, ___ and I have a somewhat volatile relationship.' She paused, and then responded, 'I would believe that would be the case for you, but he seems to have his head on his shoulders.' I was shocked into silence.

That comment has never left me, and I can't help but think about her differently now. I feel like she doesn't even like me as a person. She came from an abusive past herself, and then married my horrible father, and then she says something like that to me. The following day she asked me to clarify my statement, and I said I was just drunk and repeating something I had seen on Reddit (which was partially true). She got angry with me and said that it wasn't like I would tell her if something was wrong anyway; that 'I'm off drinking alone and not going home, ___ must be worried sick.'

I also know that he has texted my mother asking my whereabouts before. I don't even know how he knows her phone number. Neither of them has given me a straight answer about it even though I have tried openly bringing it up multiple times. I had gone and visited my mother in person and I looked at her phone and saw an open conversation with him on her texts. I was very upset and asked what that was about. She recently told me when I brought it up again that 'I could tell it wasn't coming from a possessive standpoint, he was just genuinely worried about you.' Again, astonished into silence.

It feels like the ultimate betrayal, a complete slap in the face. I don't want my mother to know that I am engaged to a man that used to hit me, prevent me from leaving the house, all the rest, but I also feel so deeply hurt that she would assume that I was the one at fault for a 'volatile relationship,' instead of a man that she has literally never met once in her entire life.

I deeply love my mother and want her to be happy more than anything, but I think about these remarks every time I talk to her now, and at random points during the day. I know that she's still traumatized and deeply effected by her own abusive father and ex husband in a way that will never leave her, and I understand her pain more and more the older and more mature I get. But it just breaks my heart to remember her saying these things to me, even though I know that it's my fault for not being open with her, and that she would rain fury down on him were I ever to tell her how much he used to hurt me – she's said that much herself. But to have her trust the good character of a man she has never met over her own daughter stings deeply. I may be overthinking this a lot, and I have lied and said everything is fine with us, but still. Fuck.

No. 277583

>>277198
>>277201
He would probably die if I did that. I don't want to live with that guilt.

No. 277586

>>277583
> I don't want to break up and am clutching straws as to why I can't
ftfy

No. 277597

>>277508
Awe man.. Did they find out how any of that happened?

No. 277603

>>277582
Sorry but you have bigger issues than your mother believing you could bring volatility to a relationship. What on earth are you thinking rewarding an abuser with MARRIAGE? You are legally binding yourself to someone who regularly beat the shit out you. He deserves jail, not forgiveness and a wifey.

No. 277604

>>277582
That's just Stockholm Syndrome 101. Call up a domestic abuse hotline (1−800−799−7233) and just tell them everything you just typed here. Just get it out of your system and talk to someone who can help you rather than venting into an anonymous board. Your mental health is already terrible and who knows how bad your physical health is now.

No. 277609

I know I'm late to the party but I'm seriously pissed and just need to vent. I just finished season 7 of the The X Files and now Mulder is off the opening theme sequence and replaced with this ugly elf looking cunt and I'm so angry, I don't even want to bother to watch it anymore. Fuck this.

PLEASE DON'T SAY ANY SPOILERS PLEASE

No. 277611

>>277109
>>277114
During the time I was born my parents had very little money (no beds, no doors, etc). Growing up I remember always going thrift shopping with my mother, my dad worked very long hours (sometimes up to 20). Even when I was a teen I never got any pocket money and this led me to believe that my family is rather badly off. Shortly before I turned 18 my parents told me how much my father actually makes and it's really a lot.
In conclusion: my parents were poor, but made lots of money really quickly. Still, they left me in the belief that we actually are poor.

Since I'm a student I work parttime. Most of our costumers are rather lower middle class, and guess what? they treat me like absolute shit. Most of them don't know I'm actually a student, they just think I'm a simple cashier and that justifies them looking down on me. One guy even told me that he works in a much more "prestigious" bakery than I do. I wanted to yell at him, tell him that I only do this for a short while and then probably will earn much more than he could ever dream off - but I didn't.
Most of the are fat, tattooed, pierced, smoking like chimneys, buying cake instead of bread, yet I know through my mother who works at the local school, that they don't even pack their children lunch. NAd the ones who do care for their children buy them brands, unnesccessary toys and candy - something i never got - despite being oh so spoiled as people like you love to claim.

So, what do you suggest? Should we just be forced to send you money or what? lol
I'm sure there are a lot of people in this world who'd be glad to be on your level. Some are starving to death and yet you're here, complaining on the internet.

No. 277612

>>277611
What was the point of your useless post exactly?

No. 277613

>>277611

i agree. grew up dirt poor. now i'm not. seriously just play the cards you're dealt. i never hated rich people for what they had. it's childish af.

No. 277616

>>277611
>I was poor but then found out I'm not really and now that I don't have to worry about anything I forgot what it's like and have no sympathy for people with real problems

fify

No. 277617

>>277616

wtf does fify mean?

No. 277619

>>277617

Fixed It For You

No. 277620

>>277619
Live within your means and don't expect handouts and you might actually achieve something yourself anon :)

No. 277622

>>277612
The point of my post is that people who are poor can be just as shitty and that there are people who are rich but not spoiled at all and actually deserving of the life they live now.
Meaning, your hatred of strangers those exact situations you don't know is absolutely unjustified and makes you a horrible person.

>>277616
I never said that I forgot what it's like and have no sympathy for real problems…? "Real problems", like being a disgusting useless piece of trash who doesn't take care of their kids properly? Giving your children love and time is completely free, anon, you know? Or the type of person who thinks it's okay to look down on people who have it even worse than they do?

I know people who don't have tvs, computers or internet, your life might be not exactly rosy, but quit acting as if you're nearly dying, that it's somehow the fault of people who own more than you and that this allows you to release your anger on us.

I'm not spoiled and free of any problems, you don't know me or any of the other "rich" anons here. My father might drive a porsche, but I don't have a car, because working retail still hasn't brought me enough money to be able to afford one. Should I hate my dad, because he has a nice car and I don't?

No. 277624

>>277622

don't respond to bait of poorfags, they don't know any different and will not see this point of view until they have lived it themselves

No. 277627

I think it's hilarious how butthurt rich people get over people being envious or bitter of not having nice things like them. They would never swipe life with a poor person, so they have to understand how much better their lifestyle is.

No. 277628

>>277622
>The point of my post is that people who are poor can be just as shitty and that there are people who are rich but not spoiled at all and actually deserving of the life they live now.

Everyone knows that so that was a useless post after. And then what's the point of "So, what do you suggest? Should we just be forced to send you money or what? lol" when it's because of shit like that when you know people complain about rich people saying similar thing all the time?

Actually you keep doing that with that post, so do you have any self-awareness? I'm talking about things like this:
>but quit acting as if you're nearly dying, that it's somehow the fault of people who own more than you and that this allows you to release your anger on us.
We're just complaining about this exact same attitude that usually comes from rich people (not calling you rich, just saying that rich people say that on a regular basis without knowing any better). It's all in the attitude and you have a terrible one it seems.

No. 277629

>>277620
That's so wild how you just assume I'm not living within my means and expect handouts. Poor people are just lazy and entitled, amiright?
Daft twat.

No. 277630

>>277629
It's almost funny how they spend so much time assuming how we live and how much we earn so they can stupidly lecture us. It's not even just that anon.

No. 277631

>>277627
Uh think rich anons know they are better off, it just doesn't automatically make them dickheads.

No. 277632

File: 1533725868961.jpg (58.31 KB, 598x403, the_devil.jpg)

I live in a cesspool of a country that is led by a corrupt far-right lunatic and it makes me depressed. Freedom of press is non-existent, as the government owns almost all of the media outlets. Switch on any tv or radio channels and all you're gonna hear is how the opposition's parties are actually terrorists, the EU is our enemy, planning to destroy „Christian values” and that immigrants are responsible for literally everything that is wrong with the country. The educational system and healthcare is a disaster and poverty is rampant, but instead of improving these, the government pumps money into other projects (like…building stadiums or tourist railways where there are no sights to see at all…wtf?). Meanwhile the PM’s family and friends are ’magically’ becoming millionaires overnight. I hate this shithole

No. 277633

>>277627
>>277628
>>277629
Disliking anybody saying the following things about you
>I genuinely really despise rich people.
>I can't take them seriously.
>I don't feel any sympathy for them either.
doesn't mean you're just "butthurt". It's just natural that I want to speak out against shit like this and defend myself against groundless accusations.
I never "owned anything nice", the only difference between you and me is, that if I were to fall really low, don't get a job etc. my parents could afford to help me out and I don't need to fear homelessness and starvaton.

No. 277634

>>277582
Jesus christ. I don't even know whether to give you any sympathy, but I suppose that's the end result of having grown up in an abusive home. I guess you equate abuse with love at this point. If you ever get the chance, please do save yourself from becoming your typical battered wife. Abusers like your husband deserve no respect, love, companionship, intimacy, or anything close to that. You certainly don't deserve the abuse either. I hope you'll come to your senses one day.

No. 277635

>>277632
what country is this?

No. 277636

>>277631
They kinda proved they're dickheads by saying shit like
>Should we just be forced to send you money or what? lol
>Live within your means and don't expect handouts and you might actually achieve something yourself anon :)
>the only difference between you and me is, that if I were to fall really low, don't get a job etc. my parents could afford to help me out and I don't need to fear homelessness and starvaton.

No. 277637

>>277632
Turkey? Maybe you'll be able to move one day.

No. 277638

>>277636
>Should we just be forced to send you money or what? lol
I mean this honestly, ths is exactly what OPs post sounded like, that she hates everybody who's rich and that she would have better use for our money.
>the only difference between you and me is, that if I were to fall really low, don't get a job etc. my parents could afford to help me out and I don't need to fear homelessness and starvaton.
That's being a dickhead abut this? It's the truth.

No. 277639

>>277633
Then why do you feel like it concerns you when the first anon talked about people who are rich enough to own several huge houses on the regular and other similar things?

No. 277640

>>277638
>That's being a dickhead abut this? It's the truth.
Because that's a BIG deal and anon presented it like it was just a silly little difference.

No. 277641

>>277635
Hungary

No. 277642

>>277636
Nah you just sound bitter. My Dad is extremely wealthy and so my family has notoriety just due to that fact. I didn't live with him growing up because he left my mum for a young woman as soon as he sold his first company. My Dad never settled my Mum's divorce until my brother was 18, 7 years later. My mum had to go back into employment to keep me and my brother feed bevause my father's gold digging wife wanted him to have nothing to do with us. The government gave me money to go to school and bus fare. My Dad's company meanwhile sponsored my schools sport team (the one I didn't even play for) and kids would steal from me bevause I had a rich dad. I got given my brothers old clothes we both skated so it didn't look too off. My mum would childmind for extra money and the kids would steal shit any expensive shit my dad sent in the post for a birthday. I was bullied at school by all these upper middle class kids (I went to a prestigious school purely on merit, whereas the kids bullying me got the lowest grades but went to the prep school). They all got money for getting As and bought cars. I was getting abused by my mother and robbed of the little means I had pulled together by my classmates and teammates.

Even today I work in a completely different industry to my father after working in uni for my degree, but still have old classmates message me every so often to congratulate me on the job my dad got me.

I went though a very rough patch and my dad floated me financially for a year through a lot of personal turmoil and strife due to his wife. His wife has even attacked me on social media for being spoilt. Some people have a stick up their ass about money.

People have no qualms about marrying rich but God forbid your born to a wealthy individual.

No. 277643

>>277639
Because my parents do own several houses. Just because my parents are rich, doesn't mean I get a piece of that as well (at least until they die which I obviosuly don't wish for). But just because my parents are wealthy now, doesn't mean they're assholes. They themselves had an awful childhhod, poor parents, they were still poor when they were already young adults, but then simply worked extremely hard, managed their money wisely and now they're here. And I refuse to let you shit on them.

No. 277644

Rich people are so used to a ridiculously comfy life that the smallest shit that happens to them seems like a mountain, that's why they get upset when they hear poor people complain, they're genuinely convinced their problems are on the same level as us, smh.

No. 277645

>>277644
Why don't you ask for help from the many charities kept afloat by rich individuals?

No. 277646

>>277645
Because she isn't really poor. She's probably just salty because she didn't get that handbag for her birthday she wished for from her daddy and now thinks everything is unfair and her life is super hard.

No. 277647

Amazing. That's very nice, I'm very happy for you that your biggest concern is not affording a car, and not buying expensive medication, paying outrageous medical bills, choosing between food or rent. Your anecdotal rhetoric is the most irrelevant fucking thing I've ever heard. How very tone deaf and missing the point of you.
Thanks for sharing.

No. 277649

>>277647
1. Sage
2. Learn to reply to a post correctly

No. 277650

>>277647
If you're that shit with money that you can't feed and shelter yourself get one for free off a charity or social scheme!

No. 277652

>>277642
But all the problems you have can happen to anyone, things like bullying can happen to any kid at school for any reason ever, sometimes for no reason other than the bullies being bored. Having abusive and/or neglectful parents can happen to anyone regardless of your wealth. I was really poor among other personal things that made life a little worse and I was also surrounded by upper middle class and rich kids because I was at schools that had great reputations and were located were almost only rich people can live and I would see kids getting a lot of money for having average or kind of good grades. I don't really see your point. It's sounds like your situation is a bit better now than before so good for you.

>>277643
>Just because my parents are rich, doesn't mean I get a piece of that as well
But then this post wasn't about you in the first place, unless I'm mistaken. It was about people who are in the same situation as your parents (so not you) and who complain about the smallest things like they only happen to them.

>And I refuse to let you shit on them.

If your parents need you to defend them on an anonymous imageboard because someone complains about legitimate things then lol.

>>277647
Don't say that, they legit start crying in front of their computer.

No. 277654

>>277646
Sounds an awful lot like projection. Is that what rich girls worry about? Kek.

>>277650
>We rich people are just like you guys we have a heart and suffer too!!! :'(
>Lol if you're poor it's because you're shit with money xDDD

No. 277655

>>277652
Ding Ding Ding you fucking moron, money is not the root of the problems.

No. 277656

>>277632

Just make it Islam instead of Christianity and you get my country too.

No. 277657

>>277652
>It was about people who are in the same situation as your parents (so not you) and who complain about the smallest things like they only happen to them.
No, OP stated that she hates all rich people in general.

No. 277658

>>277646
Or because
1. charities can only help so many people, and sometimes the difference between getting help and not fitting the criteria is something like $50 more in monthly income
2. People shouldn't be so poor they need charity to have a comfortable life
3. Filthy rich people shouldn't be funding charities out of the goodness of their heart, they should be taxed appropriately so that the state can provide everyone with appropriate living conditions.

I swear rich people are so disconnected from reality.

No. 277659

>>277654
My Dad grew up in one of the most notorious housing estates in Belfast. His parents were dirt poor with 4 kids. His parents were able to send him to a decent school and he skipped a year. He worked as a binman during his years in highschool to pay for his uniform (and was able to get a lift to school most days).

He quit uni after a few weeks because even being a bin man gave him a taste of finical independence, he was able to spend his own money at the student union and his ma wouldn't have to know about his outrageous spending (2 beers).

He got a job in a post room and worked his way up. He also got diagnosed with an autoimmune disease that shortened his life expectancy drastically. He's very driven and three companies later a very wealthy man.

He's instilled hard work into me. I suppose if my dad rather grew up spending his ma's money all day in the SU and keeping up appearances with his peers he wouldn't have made it out of the class he was born and I'd be content to play the system too and rest on my laurels.

No. 277660

>>277655
It's not the root of the problems that were presented, but it is the root of the very serious problems of homelessness, starvation, preventable illness, illiteracy, and mental health issues related to poverty. Ding ding ding, asshole.

No. 277661

>>277658
>taxed "appropriately"
My father earns 6k and has to give away nearly 3k already, so having to pay even more tax than that… Can't you understand that having to give away half of their earnings pisses rich people off too?

No. 277662

>>277659
Why are you telling us your dad's life story? Nobody cares.

No. 277663

>>277661
Anon they seem to think every rich person has a secret meeting with the government to set the tax rates, not understanding the corporate tax and income tax are entirely different and rich individuals are getting taxed out of their asses for having equity.

No. 277664

>>277660
Those issues are actually caused be resource scarcity and governments not doing a great job of allocating budgets to projects, or health or education but go off. James Charles making money on make up is the cause of the homelessness crisis in LA.

No. 277665

>>277662
He was poor too just not bitter about it, but I guess success stories are not wanted here just handouts.

No. 277666

>>277659
My father too was very poor growing up. He had to move out and start working when he was oly 14, but he was smart and working himself up in the company he's still in nowadays. He starts work as early as 5 and comes home sometimes at past midnight. I
think he's allowed to complain about feeling tired or his back hurting now and then…

No. 277667

>>277654
>We rich people are just like you guys we have a heart and suffer too!!! :'(
>Lol if you're poor it's because you're shit with money xDDD
Too accurate.

>>277658
Reminds me of how celebrities started to all get new nationalities to stop paying taxes in my country because they were too "expensive" even though they were multimillionaires at the very least.

>>277659
Good for him but nobody cares at this point. If anything I'm sure a bunch of poor people in this thread can relate to his story because they're poor despite working hard and are pissed that some stupid anons say crap like "if you're poor it's because you cant budget xD". Good for you to have a decent role model though.

No. 277669

>>277663
The fact that rich people get taxed out of their asses and are still considered rich should tell you something, dummy.

No. 277670

>>277669
So should everybody just pay so much taxes until every single person owns exactly the same amout of money?

No. 277672

>>277670
They should be taxed until the difference between their quality of life and poor people's isn't that fucking absurd.

No. 277673

>>277669
You don't seem to understand economics dummy. Taxation should not cause someone to go broke, its suppose to help spread the wealth. Governments actually want citizens to spend money. Its companies that are holding large sums of money out of the money pool meaning there's less for us to rotate with. No ones starving because Phillip down the road bought a new Merc

No. 277675

>>277672
Oh fuck mate you sound like a genius. I wonder if anyone else is aware of economic inequality? You know forcing companies to pay workers a liveable wage and pay what they owe in taxes?

No. 277747

File: 1533741214925.jpg (18.97 KB, 624x352, The.Office.S05E12.HDTV.XviD-LO…)

My landlord is a bit weird and I dread having to call him for anything. When we met up to sign the lease he started ranting about his ex cheating on him with his best friend, completely unprompted. I figured maybe he had a bad day and a bit too much to drink, and that he wouldn't do it again. I was wrong. Everytime we see each other, small talk quickly segues into long-winded and uncomfortable oversharing. Sometimes he also starts arm-chairing me through Freudian psychology. Again, I don't encourage it, it's all unprompted. He seems to be aware it makes me uncomfortable, but he can't stop himself, so he's increasingly grown awkward and self-conscious around me, and I really have to walk on eggshells so he doesn't start beating himself up even more. I'm kinda used to being an unwilling shrink but this is the worst case I've ever had.

No. 277799

>>277747
Lol wtfff, what an odd landlord. At least he’s not a perv or crook. Are you going to move when your lease is up or just embrace the chaos? lol

No. 277846

>>277747
this reminds me of my old landlord. he was super bizarre in the exact same way. he also always tried to bro out with my extremely gay and effeminate roommate. One time he had to fix stuff and asked if he had a screwdriver (we did but it was mine lol) and told my roommate he would have "lost his man-cred if he hadn't had one".

No. 277848

I'm unfollowing all the people who shit up my timeline with ssb. Fuck that game and fuck me for following anything but animal video accounts, irl friends, and lil uzi.

No. 277854

>>277848
You can mute words related to ssb on twitter, I don't know if you already tried that. I always do that to avoid spoilers and things I really don't like or care about and it's working so far.

No. 277864

>>277854
I muted a few, but it didn't help much. The unfunny live tweets are what piss me off the most and they always seep through..

Virtually all of the posters were male weebs I should've unfollowed a long time ago anyways

No. 277870

>>277864
Yeah I see the type. I used to follow some of them but they were obnoxious and posting 50 tweets a minute during every stream so I muted them or unfollowed them too. I mostly follow artists now so it's easier to avoid tweets about certains things by muting specific words.

No. 277871

>>277799

I've been here for a few years lol. I put up with it for the quiet neighborhood, ok neighbors, cheap rent and nice garden.

No. 277873

>had 15-20 friends/followers on fb and insta, never used either, didn't like anyone
>delete both
>friends think I'm crazy for lack of followers/social media

>subscribed to abt 20 youtubers so there's always something I like at hand

>friends think I'm crazy for having so many

this is why I don't want to have open communication with you guys

No. 277882

File: 1533755874023.jpg (19.68 KB, 473x473, IMG_20180607_021110.jpg)

I've been talking to this guy lately and he's nice for the most part but I can't get over how unkempt he looks. It's not even because he's ugly, I can deal with average looks, he's just ill put together. I don't think I can tolerate that.
Why are so many men so bad at grooming themselves, it pisses me off. Clip your hair and exfoliate your fucking face. Put some chapstick on while you're at it. This isn't fucking hard.

No. 277883

>>277658
yeah tax the rich people and ignore the disgusting massively rich corporations, just spit at the comfortably wealthy that actually see you as human and protest for more handouts from the state that's keeping you poor.

No. 277886

>>277582
>> I may be the biggest idiot on the planet
You are.

No. 277943

File: 1533766909668.jpg (20.11 KB, 236x315, 3dd50ede5a0ce8acf3276a6801d4ea…)

>>277627
i have rich parents and i know i'm really lucky for it but i have to watch my partner of 10 years endure extreme pain and sickness and very possibly slowly die due to illness. i've gotten roofied and thrown in jail for escaping being raped and being beligerent. among other things. you can't just buy your way out of trouble forever unless you're astronomically rich and all your problems have a tangible solution that can even be purchased. i know some rich people are spoiled and really do get butthurt at the slightest thing like you say but what i get annoyed at now and used to feel nothing but guilt about is that
1) people assume you can't have any real problems because they for some reason believe that lack of money is the only reason anyone ever suffers and that a comfortable amount of money can purchase away suffering forever

2) a lot of "poor" people, especially young liberal ones in my area, make nonstop comments about it, not just a once in a while comment about my house being nice or something normal like that, but scrutinizing any little purchase i make and pointing out the cost even though i keep it on the downlow.

yeah i know, wah wah first world problems, but i don't point out how lucky my friends are for having their health or having a healthy family dynamic or something every five minutes. my life is really lucky in some areas and my life sucks in some areas. it's the same with most people but the areas are different. yet a lot of people think that the binary is poor and unfortunate in every way, or rich and therefore has never experienced any hard times.

pic is a joke if it wasn't apparent

No. 277945

>>277943
samefag sorry i should've read more of the thread. i don't support money hoarding at all either, hoarding more money than you could possibly spend, paying prices that could never possibly correspond to quality alone, living in a house quadruple to what you would feel comfortable living in, etc, are all despicable to me. I'm just talking about people who hate rich people who are just rich enough to pay for basically an upgrade to a reasonable lifestyle.

No. 277953

>>277582
it honestly sounds like you're taking the justified anger and hurt at your fiance and taking it out on your mother, and i fucking hate my mother, so i'm not biased towards them lol. you've said yourself that she has NO IDEA about the abuse you've suffered at his hands, so even though it's annoying when someone doesn't take your side, it's not rational to feel devastated as if she's siding with him on abusing you.

if i was having normal verbal fights and bickering with my partner and my mom took his side, i'd feel annoyed, not devastated and betrayed and astonished into silence. those feelings are all coming from the abuse he gave you, and you know it.

also, if what he's done to you is worth you forgiving him and going back, why are you still feeling all these awful feelings about it? you can't have it both ways. either you forgive him and move on and therefore don't antagonize people for siding with him on any issue when they don't even know what he's done, or you don't forgive him and don't go back because the pain and betrayal he made you feel is too great to allow. your gut is telling you what the better choice is and you're not listening to it.

No. 277961

I can't stop chewing the skin of my thumbs, it looks so gross but is so satisfying ffs

No. 278008

File: 1533781117273.jpg (74.18 KB, 356x374, 1495003846584.jpg)

A random guy from elementary school asking for my snap is basically translated as expressing sexual interest right? Standard protocol is just straight out ignore? This hasn't happened to me before but im not interested in hooking up with him lmao.

No. 278010

File: 1533781572662.jpg (81.27 KB, 1024x683, audreyMain.jpg)

>>277642
>People have no qualms about marrying rich but God forbid your born to a wealthy individual.

this so much. i realize some people just hate all types of rich people, so fair, but so many people have laundry lists of rich celebs they adore, they have no qualms about gold diggers, but they hate all children of rich people no exceptions. even though that's the one group that can't do anything about it and didn't choose it. even joe rogan was trash talking them during his podcast, like wtf, you're rich and you have kids. you made them and you're going to assume they're growing to grow up to be little shits because you have money?

it's a catch 22 because the types of rich kids willing to tell the world they're rich are usually the arrogant or spoiled ones. the ones who realize how lucky they are and don't want to brag or be douchebags keep quiet about it or keep it a complete secret, so people only know about the first camp and assume they're all like that, making the second camp even more afraid to bring attention to themselves because of the outrage.

we're not deserving of more or even the same sympathy as people less privileged than us, fucking obviously, but there's big difference between not feeling particularly sorry for someone vs straight up hating them because you assume the worst about them and assume you know exactly what their lives are like. it tends to make you want to defend yourself after a while.

No. 278016

>>277582
sorry but I stopped reading after you said that he beat the shit out of you every day, you took him back, and he still hurts you. not blaming you but that's totally fucked up jesus christ you should not be with someone who hurts you regardless of whether you see it as not that bad or not as bad as it was. if you have children, he'll beat them. guarantee. get help

No. 278022

>>278008
No man comes into your life from that much of a time gap and just wants your snapchat for no reason. He's a kid grown into a fuckboy, scouring for girls he once had some barely existent connection to and hoping they've "developed" nicely so he can get a quick jerk off. He'll eventually start pressuring you for pics and sexual interest if you let him in, so don't do it. You'd probably block them, but I enjoy frustrating those types so they never attempt speaking to me again.

No. 278062

>>278010
Gold diggers are far worse tbh. Someone letting their parents spoil them aren't throwing their gender under the bus as glorified prostitutes.

No. 278069

>>278010
Saying this as someone who complained about rich people, I hate the hypocrisy behind it too, because I always see upper middle class dudes who think they're poor I know irl shit all over people born into wealth (regardless of how smug they may or may not be about the circumstances of their birth) as well as super mega rich corporations while praising celebrities all the time, like the British royal family, Beyonce, the Kardashians, etc. I mean at least Beyonce is known for her songs, voice and dancing skills even though she was from a well off family so I can guess they're her fans at least and I know the examples are cliches but they don't see the contradictions between metaphorically licking the British royal family's assholes and shitting all over rich kids with several helicopters and designer clothes on instagram. And we're not even from the UK so why do they care so much. I feel like they have no self-awareness.

btw personally when I say I don't feel sympathy for rich people it's more like when you say
>not feeling particularly sorry for someone
I don't know how others feel about this or if they agree or disagree, but I don't really care.

No. 278080

oh my gosh, everytime i read someone's rich i get this intense urge to beg her for money anonymously :^) what is this, i'm not even poor

No. 278087

my anxiety has been so bad lately. every thought in my head is a negative one and no matter how hard i try to stop the thoughts, they just don't stop. i have to try to distract myself constantly just so i can get a moment of peace inside my own head.

it's gotten so bad the past few days i feel physically sick. i hate myself, everything about me, can't even look in a mirror without crying anymore. i feel so alone but it's 100% my fault. it's because i'm pushing everyone away–i have no energy to pretend to be happy, to not drag everybody down. i just have no energy. i feel so lost in this big world.

everyone i've ever cared about has fucked me over. the only people that love me are my family, and i'm so thankful for them, but i'd give anything for a healthy relationship outside of that. every person i've dated has cheated on me. every. one. the last was the most painful, as it was my first very serious, two and a half year long relationship.

i feel like i can't trust anyone, i don't know what's in my head and what's real. i actually feel like i'm going crazy with all this anxiety. my therapist is doing her best, bless her, to help me but nothing is working right now. fuck i'm just so sad.

No. 278089

I've always been a person who is "too nice". But not because I'm actually nice, just because I avoid conflict whenever possible and just want to be liked. Basically I am a huge coward.

It's a regrettable life decision. I'm a huge liar and hypocrite, and I've hurt a lot of people acting this way along with myself. I wish I could just start over. I genuinely thought I was doing the right thing. I'm not a smart woman.

No. 278094

my paranoia is really intense. i am afraid to set up a linkedin profile because of my ex and it's been 7 years since. he's just so fucking crazy and he ruined my reputation, everybody he came in contact thinks i'm the crazy one. i was well liked before, but now i either have to defend myself and i come off guilty or i just say nothing and hope i'll make a good enough impression

No. 278095

I’ve had on and off eating disorders for 5+ years. I’ve always been overweight and losing weight has been extremely hard for me. My ED had been at its worst since I’ve been with my bf. He’s always been extremely supportive with healthy recovery away my eating disorder, although I’ve been hiding it as of recently. I’m the thinnest I’ve been since I was 12yrs and I definitely was enjoying it. I was starting on the idea to progress towards a healthy recovery.
I found my boyfriends porn stash. I mentioned he clearly has a type for thick/bbw and asked how my weight change going to impact the relationship. He voluntarily deletes everything. Says he feels awful, he doesn’t want to make me feel insecure in anyway and that I’m absolutely perfect despite the weight I’m at.
Now my ED is hardwired into thick/fitness thick goals. I’m binge eating. I feel disgusting and I look into the mirror and feel completely lost. I don’t know who I am anymore. I don’t know what my ED is anymore.

No. 278101

File: 1533804436756.jpg (41.98 KB, 583x509, 1520882039924.jpg)

I'm so fucking sick and tired of people using me as their punching bag because i am too nice to usually fight back, and of people treating me like i'm stupid for their own ego.

It's not my fucking fault you cannot even take a joke because your head is so up your ass, stop trying to abuse me so you can feel better about your shitty personality and further your superiority complex.

I'm over being kind to people who do not deserve it.

Jokes on you, you appear far more pathetic than i ever will, attacking someone who is kind and loving to you just to appear more "bad-ass", you immature child.

No. 278103

It's tiring when people judge you for harmless things, just because they found a minor reason to be offended. These are people who make fun of sjws but they are the queens of cow sjws.

No. 278104

>>278101
>It's not my fucking fault you cannot even take a joke
you sound abusive

No. 278106

>>278104
How very assuming of you, cute.
How is that abusive in any way?
I actually mean a joke, like, for example, in a group chat, everyone is laughing about something and they will be the only one bitching and sulking.
But yea, sure, so abusive.

No. 278112

I cannot wait to leave this fucking shitty job I hate and not have to deal with spoiled, ridiculous manchildren all day every day. God fuck you fuck you fuck you, you boring fucking cunts. Fuck off with your non-issues and rudeness and next twat to threaten me is getting laid out. all over sneakers you pathetic wanks.

Fuck this industry.

No. 278129

>>278112
>spoiled manchildren
>all over sneakers
Do you work at a shoe store? Please expand on your vent, Ill listen.

No. 278136

>>278101
i have nothing to add except that your post is relatable. i also tend to be too nice/generous whatever for my own good (no humblebrag intended), while stimultaneously being boisterous and debonairly, i think this combo frustrates some people and makes them act like jerks to assert their dominance of whatever. sucks for them that they cant maintain a metaphorical blood pressure below 180.

No. 278144

>>278136
Third anon here.
I agree as well. I am polite and generous because I was raised that way. But, some people think they can treat you a certain way. I can be just as bitchy as I can be polite though.

No. 278145

>>278087
Oh anon. Maybe you’re at a time in your cycle when your hormones can make you depressed. Usually for me its between ovulation and the start of my period. I will subconsciously sabotage my life. It’s probably pmdd or something.
Either way. Take some time to do something nice for yourself. Go to your favorite restaurant or immerse yourself in something to take your mind off the negative thoughts.

No. 278156

>>278129

I work for an indie sneaker store. I rate trainers personally (been well put off now tho) and thought it'd be a good fit work-wise but my god, there is something deeply irritating about being shouted at by an adult man over a dropped stitch or a bit of dye bleed on a pair of shoes made by kids in sweatshops

Adults pitching shitfits and tantrums over trainers.

I've been threatened with bodily harm and death cos some dick didn't get some pair of shoes
I've been 1* reviewed for "sighing" on the phone (I was out of breath running for the phone)
I've been called a eurotrash cunt, a piece of shit and other things over customs charges, because I apparently I am the tax department/government of every single country
I'm sick of seeing 100 thread comment threads moaning about the shape of a toebox, or the overall quality of the shoes


This is without going into the shitshow that is management and how utterly wank our employee morale is as a result

I leave end of 2018. i repeat this to myself every day (I have a 3 month notice period, as dept head, but am staying through xmas to train new staff. Then i am taking January off lol). I cannot wait.

Thanks for listening

No. 278167

File: 1533826532141.gif (508.62 KB, 442x258, 329CD769-9955-4CAD-BCDD-BC3E85…)

>>278156
What a unique job.
I had no idea people could care so much about sneakers. Dropped stitches and dye bleeds? That’s a little out of touch with reality (you will have literal feces on them the moment you wear them).
I have worn the same sneakers for 4 years BECAUSE a child made them somewhere. I’m glad you brought that up. Too bad you can’t throw that at them.
>anon, this minute, minor thing here is fucked up.
>damn… child labor amirite?? lol elbows ribs
Shitty customers are one thing, shitty management is another. You just can’t have both.

You sound very responsive giving them the correct notice and helping them train through the holidays. I hope you get a Christmas bonus. I hope you check out glassdoor where you can rate your employer.

No. 278174

>>278167 Thanks anon! Your kind words mean a lot. It's completely drained me over the last few years. I'm bailing to go do something low-stress while I work on improving my art.

No. 278180

>>278087 I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope you can find some peace and more love :)

And I hope you find someone worthy of you who will appreciate and respect you. Life is sadly a random numbers game (I believe) and statistics can be unfair.

No. 278181

>>278156
People can get so weird when it comes to sneakers, especially the limited edition ones. I know someone who's really into sneakers and she acts like finding the right pairs online is a matter of life and death sometimes. Good luck with your future customers.

No. 278182

>>278156
These are n*ggers, right? I mean cloth shoes aren't precious status totems outside of black culture surely

No. 278184

>>278182
Weird you feel the need to censor that word rather than fucking type it all.

No. 278186

I hate it when people are nice and care about me, especially when they are superior to me (through intellect, skills, social standing, or looks). Not including social politeness here (I don't want to be harassed or anything), just those who act like friends and try to get close.

Why would you do that? How can you expect me to trust you? Just ignore me, let me take quiet interest in you and leave me alone. I don't deserve this! Please leave me alone!

No. 278187

I'm pissed off. My exhaust detached off my car last week and I live alone and remote at the moment, it takes an hour travelling to my boyfriends. I told him about my car and I was nervous to drive it and asked if he would take me to the mechanic or look at it because I googled it and it seems it might be DIY job but I think there might be more to it I don't know I'm not a mechanic? Anyway boyfriend just refuses to help me. He drove up to get me after work on Friday and then took me home before he had work on Monday. He wants to go away camping with my brother this weekend. I've asked him for help to even just source a mechanic because any I've used before he declares a rip off. He's pretty handy himself so I'm fed up he won't just help me, he tied it up before work, but I feel like it would be my luck to have the car blow up on me if I drove it alone then I'd be stranded. He asked earlier if I would drive 50+ miles to his house so we could take it to a mechanic I can't understand why he's unable to come to me this last week. He's got a free house at the moment and it's irking the fuck out of me, he's barely been in contact and knows I'm stuck.

No. 278189

>>278187
Well, the exhaust being broken won't really have any effect on the car other than being louder and smellier for the time being(as long as the loose pipe is tied up with wire or something) so you at least don't have to worry too much about that…your bf on the other hand idk. that's odd behavior.

No. 278190

File: 1533832717680.png (200.34 KB, 475x538, hamtaro.PNG)

>Electricity goes out in most of my room, its been like this for 2 weeks and I can't do anything about it except wait for my dad to decide on something
>because of this it's hard to sleep in my room - it gets stupidly hot with no fan
>Find out I have some rotting in a tooth so I need to go to back to the dentist so they can drill the shit out of it
>accidentally break my new glasses
>no motivation to draw
>miss out on an item I really wanted online
>Post office is being a shit and not re-delivering an important package like they were supposed to
>Binge ate these last couple of days /been gaining weight and small new stretch marks because of it
>thinking about cutting again like a stupid idiot

This week has had no mercy on me

No. 278194

File: 1533833534416.jpg (27.04 KB, 500x426, tumblr_inline_p73cx3ba7x1stl91…)

for years now i've been struggling with frequent panic attacks and permanent depersonalisation/derealisation, but lately they've both been so severe i've been unable to escape constant fear. i can't focus on anything because my mind is constantly racing and telling me to escape. i'm losing all the weight i'd finally managed to start putting back on after years of disordered eating, since i'm having several panic attacks a day and am too anxious to eat. i'm 11000 miles away from my home country, and can't afford health insurance to see a psychiatrist, so i have to try to figure out how to do it alone. i tried self-harming again in case it might help and now i'm just embarrassed since i'm 26 and still doing this. i just want to feel real again, and not terrified.

No. 278195

File: 1533833569615.jpg (52.39 KB, 500x498, 1531775853090.jpg)

i wish things went right for me for once! i wish i didnt have this stupid brain, im fearful of everything and i dont understand my own feelings
im so confused about attraction, i like girl and i like boys i think, but that's not the problem
i dont know who to go for and not regret it in the end
i dont want to resent my wife or husband for not being one or the other
the feeling of missing out i guess
im in general afraid of men due to trauma, but i still make a effort to interact,though it makes me so uncomfortable
then i have this stupid brain, im not smart in anything im so terrible
i rather be alone! please dont let me get attached anymore! i dont want the burden anymore
i dont want to think about anything anymore, everything always contradicts itself

No. 278208

What I'm saying might sound like a caricature of "man in a woman's body", but I literally think like a man. I judge men by the same standards that men use to judge women, and it wouldn't bother me to be the dominant one in a relationship. I have 0 feminity in my brain and I feel like a gender traitor.

No. 278209

>>278208
there's nothing wrong with that. don't listen to women that are like uwu femininity is undervalued so be soft!!

No. 278215

I want to die

No. 278216

Tried to start my car and there's no power anymore lol. Sobbed down the phone to my boyfriend and he's taking a half day tomorrow to help. I told him off for not visiting me either this week. I don't know what's up with him either >>278189

No. 278218

>>278215
me too in a painless way

No. 278225

>>278218
Yeah. Just go to sleep and never wake up. Everyone will be happier.

No. 278232

>>278225
Nta, but how about you do the same

No. 278235

>>278232
What? I'm the anon who originally said I wanted to die. I wasn't telling that anon to go to sleep and never wake up. Everyone would be happier if I, myself, died. Not her.

No. 278240

>>278235
Sorry then, the wording was unclear

No. 278245

>>278186
Me too, i just don't trust it

No. 278251

>>278240
Lol I read it the same then seen your comment like “ya!”.

I’m sorry anons are feeling fed up with this life. I only hope peace will find you, and in this moment, I care about you all and wish you were happy.

No. 278271

Lol it's 4:00am. I'm sitting in the tub drinking on xanax listening to my favourite Nina Simone song, quietly so I don't wake my brother and father. I hope I pass out and drown.

No. 278274

File: 1533846265279.jpeg (299.25 KB, 1119x1948, 0971980A-1FCD-4551-A6A9-48A63E…)

>>278271
China, Aus?
If you could change one thing in your life right now to make you happy what would it be?
What are u drinking?

No. 278290

Sometimes I go through a "phase" (like now) when I have the impression that people can read my thoughts and I'm trying to convince myself it's not logical

No. 278292

>>278290
I get that too I've legit asked my boyfriend if he can read my thoughts. Not in a cute way, an accusing way lol

No. 278303

I hate myself. My anxiety is getting worse. I've been seeing a psychologist and it's been helping but not enough. My mind has been stuck in the same way of thinking for 20 years and I can't just warp it to think in a non-negative manner. I have panic attacks over stupid shit and feel like I'm annoying whenever I talk to anyone about my feelings. This is why I usually go to these sites. I can vent and not annoy anyone. Less people will be annoyed and hate me. I keep thinking about how I have hardly any friends and how unlikable I am and I realize I'm probably just shit and this is why no one likes me. I don't even like me. I'm tired of being anxious all the time. It's like a permanent feeling of having my skin crawl. I'm so tired of feeling unstable. I just want to be able to relax. I went to a psychologist for therapy but feel guilty for even going there. I didn't go to a psychiatrist yet to get diagnosed with anything so I don't even know if I'm ill enough for therapy. My psychologist thinks I have some issues that need working on, but I haven't got an answer to what could be officially wrong with me yet.
I feel so uneasy I just imagine ripping off my skin to get free from myself. I'm so tired. I don't want to live like this.

No. 278308

File: 1533858706002.jpg (90.7 KB, 620x603, dog-hugs-lucy-x-620-603x.jpg)

>>278290
I think you kind of can, once you know someone well enough. More intuition or instinct in some situations rather than literal thought reading.
>>278303
Anon, keep going to your psychologist. You're definitely not feeling well enough. Once you know what's wrong, you'll be in the steady process to help yourself feel better. Don't give up.

No. 278314

i almost finished knitting a plush snail but my hands started cramping too badly and i had to stop. i like knitting a lot but my left hand hates me, at first i thought it would stop as i practice more (got into knitting like a year ago) but like 8 sock pairs later it's as bad as always. maybe i should learn knitting the american way and see if that makes any difference

No. 278324

LET ME KILL MYSELF IN PEACE, FOR FUCK SAKED

No. 278401

I fucking HATE the Voltron fandom and I never want to even watch the show because it would only annoy me even more if I did. The new season is starting today and all my friends are going apeshit over it. And even if it would end and the fandom would dissolve, they would just latch onto some new franchise and ruin it for everyone as well by being psychotic little shits who think a ship between a 26yo and a 21yo is pedophilia and incest because they knew each other as kids and send death threats and gore pics to everyone disagreeing with them. Bandwagons suck so fucking hard because they attract the worst people you could imagine.

No. 278406

>>278401
Voltron is a meme at this point

No. 278458

I'm half Puerto Rican so I have really, really curly hair. I live with the maternal side of my family, the white side, and they constantly mock me for my curly hair. It's usually not in an intentionally cruel way, it's more like they don't realize how mean they're being. Like if my hair's more frizzy or fluffy than usual they'll make a joke about me sticking my finger in a light socket, stuff like that.

I used to straighten my hair every. single. day. but a couple months ago I realized I just can't do it anymore. It's so damaging to my hair and so time consuming and kills my arms. I genuinely don't think it looks bad curly but they make it seem like I look terrible.

I'm trying so hard to learn to love & accept my hair but it's like every time I get close to that they push me right back down to hating it. I can't tell them how much it bothers me because it'll just start an argument. I'd give anything to have naturally straight hair, I'm so sick of them making fun of me. It's not my fault I'm Hispanic, I didn't force my mom to have a child with a Latino. For fucks sake.

No. 278460

>>278458
I love curly hair, if it helps

No. 278470

Went to my psychiatrist today to finally open up about being suicidal for years and wanting to ask for help or get into a mental ward once again.
She won't even listen to me. Said to take all my complaints to the therapist. Who can't do shit about my medication or about admitting me to a hospital btw.
Instead she talked my ears off about my tattoos which were visible for the first time since I met her (it's summer, so it's obvious I would wear less clothes) and about how I'm such a "beautiful and smart young woman who will one day regret getting inked".
Good talk, doc, good talk.
Now I want to kms even more.

No. 278471

>>278460
aw thank u anon :')

No. 278474

>>278470
Change your physicatrist anon or make a formal complaint to your psychologist or something. Believe it or not you will never get better if these complaints stay in an anonymous sphere and all your emotions get redirected to other things because part of being better is settling these kinda of issues. Especially since the psychiatrist comes across as rather unprofessional talking about how ~such a pretty waman will regrat her tawtoos!!!~ your psych is commenting on your body and acting like your feelings are set in stone(based on social norms too kek) as if this person didn't study for years to learn that our feelings are on a fucking spectrum and we're volatile creatures.

Sticking with shitty healthcare professionals is like being told you got cancer and get sent to your gyno for treatment, do you spread your legs and just slowly die of malpractice or do you say something? Stopping the procedure and getting the right help you need.

No. 278479

>>277672
Seriously anon, why would you work 50 hour work weeks as a CEO, take immense responsibility of many other people in your position or study for 12 years to become a neurosurgeon if you ended up receiving the same salary as your basic office worker? Money is a great motivator and I believe it has to compensate for your effort. The Soviet Union tried to give everyone the same standard of living and it ended up with everyone being unmotivated and slacking off because in the end it wouldn't matter how hard they worked. Wage gaps are ALWAYS going to exist and the endless taxing of the upper middle class on income tax is shitty because the actually extremely rich people are always going to find a way to evade them. Even in the most socialist countries have filthy rich people with privileges. It's just how the human nature works.

The fact is that you SHOULD be rewarded for working hard and it would literally make no sense to pay McDonalds workers a $50k/year salary because it requires minimal training and responsibility and nobody would want to pay $40 a meal to fund their wages. Neither would it make sense to pay a lawyer 80k a year and give them a 50% income tax percentage because they would just become your run of the mill worker with less effort but the same pay. That's the reason nobody wants to become a teacher, you'd have to study for years and be responsible of a bunch of snotty brats and endure their parents for a mediocre salary.

I swear these same people demanding higher income taxes would screech their asses off if they got a job that pays them 5k a month but they had to give up 40% of it to taxes and settle for a lower middle class lifestyle.

No. 278488

File: 1533903955575.png (299.8 KB, 480x270, DB075382-732F-493E-B4AD-F66956…)

I fucking hate myself, my brain, my whole life so much. I’m haunted by a mistake I made a full year ago now because I hurt someone dear to me, to the point where I often have very vivid nightmares about it and there’s nothing I can do now to make it right. I apologised to them sincerely and they forgave me but I can’t forgive myself for it. I’ve been suicidal every day for nearly a year and a half (or more, I don’t know! I can barely remember the past year and anything beyond two years is gone completely) be it passively or actively and I tried to attempt suicide several times during May but kept wimping out at the last second.
My anxiety has gotten so bad that I can no longer leave the house alone for more than an hour or so - last Sunday I tried to go record shopping and ended up having a panic attack, vomiting in the shop bathroom, and almost passing out while waiting for a train home, and I feel like such a stupid pathetic waste of space. I worry a lot that I’m losing my mind and grip on reality and I’m nearly sure that if I started hallucinating I could be straight up diagnosed as schizophrenic, that’s how bad I’ve gotten (not exaggerating). I hate it so much, and I know I’m a huge burden on everyone I know because of it. I want nothing more than to die quickly and painlessly but there’s no way to do that here - I can’t get my hands on a gun and all nembutal sales are fake, I have no idea where to even start looking for legit sellers. it all just sucks and I wish I could go to Switzerland and be euthanised there, honestly.
It all just hurts so much. I have no enthusiasm for anything and no desire to get better, only a desire to die. I try not to ever tell anyone about any of this and I know I don’t even really deserve to be venting here but I figure doing it anonymously to a place where no one even has to respond is better than anything else.
I just want to fucking die in peace. I’ve been on this hell marble for two decades now and I want OUT.

No. 278491

My voice sounds almost identical to that of my vile, narcissistic mother and I fucking hate it so much. In video recordings/phone calls we sound so scarily alike. Sometimes when I get angry and raise my voice and swear I sound exactly like her and it freaks me the fuck out. I hate her so much and I hate that I can't escape her even in my own goddamn body.

No. 278498

>>278182 No. Also go fuck yourself hard.

No. 278509

>>278458
Sounds like your family is just assholes. I cant imagine anyone in my white family making jokes like that about someone with curly hair. Some of us do have very curly hair though. So maybe it’s just not unique.
Hair is hair. Nothing worth mentioning or taking about. My family is utilitarian I guess.

No. 278520

>>278208
>the same standards
Do you want a petit submissive husband to financially control and get sex from every day too? I know that I'll have to settle for something less than a reverse-traditional relationship and it pisses me off. I don't want the courtship to be typical either, I need to be the one to ask him out and I need to be the one to pay for everything all the time.

I think I'm feminine in other ways though. I enjoy fashion and animals, but I also want to be jacked and be a dominant breadwinner. If you're masculine in presentation but want to date men I'm sure things are even more rough for you.

No. 278526

>>278491

I feel you anon, I sound like my asshole father. Whenever I make a phone call and there's an echo on the line I start feeling bad. I also take a lot after him physically which I've mostly gotten over but it's still so hard to accept my voice.

No. 278562

>>278520
Not to that extent, what you described is quite exaggerated. What pisses me off is the stereotype that men like nice women and women like bad boys. The thing is I'm not good at making first impressions and I kinda want someone to be patient with me until I start to be more comfortable.
Or, how do I explain, women usually have that thing where they "walk on eggshells" around men and men like it. It'd be nice of them to make sure they're not overly intimidating? About appareance, I'm not masculine but I also don't look "photoshopped". I wear normal women's clothes and minimal make up.

No. 278590

I'm probably overreacting but I'm so worried about my mom.
I just recently moved to a different country by myself and we have been talking on the phone everyday since. Yesterday I was out with a friend when she tried to call me multiple times. After the 4th time or so I answered the phone and she told me that she's been fighting with her husband. She then asked me something very very weird: She asked if he has ever tried to touch me, which I denied because he really hasn't. She didn't want to tell me why because I was with my friend and I told her I'd call her back in the evening, but that didn't happen because I was staying with my friend longer than I had previously thought.
I've been trying to reach her all day today but her phone is off apparently :( This has never happened before and I'm so worried that something has happened to her. She usually doesn't switch off her phone, especially not when she's waiting for me to contact her. IDK I'm probably being paranoid but I'm freaking out right now

No. 278595

>>278590
wtf. can you ask any other family members about her?

No. 278603

>>278595
No bc she is living alone with her husband :(. I've already tried to reach her on their house phone but no one picks up. And she hasn't answered to my messages asking her to ring me back either..

No. 278617

>>278603
Do you have any aunts/uncles that could check on her for you? It sounds pretty serious, anon.

No. 278669

>>278603
Call the police to do a welfare check. Fuck it thats what theyre for!!

No. 278680

>>278603
Hey, so a welfare check like this Anon suggested >>278669 is a good idea.

Google your city + police department non-emergency line, and explain the situation to the operator. “It’s unlike her not to call me back, she seems to be very stressed out right now and I’m worried” would be fine. You can also request that you’d like to remain anonymous in case she asks the officer who called in a check (if that bothers you). Keep us updated!

No. 278753

File: 1533944122909.gif (181.84 KB, 226x224, 1533855412235.gif)

i wish i was an illiterate milkmaid and not an educated hybristophile living in this clown world

No. 278757

File: 1533944893389.jpeg (26.97 KB, 320x240, 2B1182B1-97B3-4D86-A17B-4E7E5E…)


No. 278794

I just picked at some acne (and not just minor scratching) for the first time in half a year and I feel so stupid. Even though I put on witch hazel and some Aquaphor, it's probably gonna scar from how deep it is. I wish my skin could just get better, even though I baby it and went to multiple dermatologists, who didn't really what to do. God, I just hate feeling like a monster and the gross pulsing of my skin.

No. 278821

File: 1533959156335.jpg (26.85 KB, 508x524, 1533505848110.jpg)

>>278757
kek. but seriously i gotta see a therapist about my obsession with a dead gay man

No. 278822

File: 1533959514963.jpg (35.06 KB, 1024x511, CMF7GXsXAAAdDIu.jpg)

I just looked at my boyfriend's browsing history and saw he's been jacking off to shemale porn. We both know the both of us look at porn, and sometimes we'll watch together, but in the past, whether we're watching together or he's watching on his own, he's always watched porn with real fucking women in it. I don't make a big habit of looking at his browsing history, so I have no idea how long he's been looking at shemales. Yeah, I know that shemale is a popular genre, doesn't mean he's gay (pretty sure most gay dudes don't watch shemale porn), etc etc, but I feel weird, disappointed, and creeped the fuck out. I can't even do or say anything about it though, because if he were to see the kind of weird porn I watch on my own, he'd probably have the same feelings I'm having right now.

No. 278823

>>278822
I think he just needed to get off and shemale porn is fucking everywhere so instead of browsing for half an hour he just decided to rub one out to some ladyboy because men.

No. 278824

Tfw when you have 12hrs to come up with the perfect sign to encompass your political opinion for the alt-right rally and all you can think of is pepe in various poses and outfits and generic quotes and you fear the stares at kinko’s but ya need that 3’ by 3’ banner so everyone can see your ~super important~ opinion, in 10 words or less, a block away bc you were too damn late to order a flag on amazon prime like everyone else

>sigh

No. 278825

>>278822
You shouldn’t say anything and over a period of a month check his browser history, his saved photos, and his trash can on his computer regularly so you can see if it’s a curiosity thing or if he’s a long term shmale wanker. A lot of people forget to empty their trash.

No. 278840

>>278824
Lmao I hope you get spit on