/ot/ - off-topic

>lads
so, do britfags call everyone that? i thought it only applied to guys

>>247652
I think people just only consider negative talk to be gossip and forget that pretty much any casual chatting about others is gossip. Gossip is socially healthy imo.

>Almost all philosophers and religious leaders disparage gossip, as does the average person (yet the average person partakes in gossip)
>(yet the average person partakes in gossip)
As if religious leaders and philosophers don't lmao. I've never seen a pettier bunch of people than philosophers and academics generally speaking, and for some reason "common" people believe they are some higher moral beings.

>>247652
Honestly, great thread idea anon.

I think I'll start out by saying that I do feel guilty about gossiping, especially on here. Maybe it's that cognitive dissonance that brings me back. So far I've not said anything on lolcow I wouldn't say personally, but I do find myself agreeing with some of the meaner-spirited comments here too sometimes.

In real life, I gossip a little here and there. I struggle with what can be "defined" as gossip - if I speak ill of someone constructively, is that gossip? What about behind their back? To me, I think the key is that gossip is not only mostly unconstructive criticism, but that it's done in secret. But sometimes there are situations in which issues need to be talked over with someone else first before I can adress the issue with the person involved in the best way possible.

Finally, I think there are some people I really can't say much positive about. If I want to steer clear on gossiping in a conversation, I try to not make mention of those people. My first college roomate, who read my diary and showed it college admin, is one of those people.

There's the saying "big minds talk about ideas, average minds talk about news, and small minds talk about people" Personally I think the most interesting person can find something to say about all three.

>>247685
This

>>247656
No, as a scottish person I wouldn't address a group of women as lads, would maybe use guys if it was people I'm friendly with, but might be more common in some other british regional dialect.

I look down on anyone who gossips because most of the time those people have nothing intelligent to say.

I did gossip on my first (student) job, it was sort of required because if you didn't, you weren't considered one of them. The act of gossiping made me feel dirty and lowly so I stopped which caused others in the same office to think I'm against them which in return only deepened my disdain for people who cannot have one day without gossiping. I've seen both men and women do it but at least now I'm working a descent job and surprisingly my colleagues don't have a habit of gossiping and we talk about various topics when we have the time. I genuinely believe people who gossip regularly are stupid, petty, vapid and shallow. I guess some amount of gossiping is a health social practice although I don't practice that either.

>>247736
If you don't like gossip, do you only browse /ot/ and /g/? Since the rest of the boards is centered around gossipping lol.

>>247736
I'm a soundboard for everyone else's gossip at work.
Not because I pretend I'm above gossip or act like I never do it, but I've learned that it's better to have a nice reputation than be known for loose lips in the workplace.
My boss confides in me secrets she would absolutely trust no one else with. My coworkers think I'm sweet with super low effort.
It's not worth ruining all that.
I love office drama, yet one way or the other I'm in the know eventually without having to risk participating.

Besides, gossiping is often used as a backstab if someone suddenly has it out for one's ass. I don't want that reputation.

>>247750
Yeah, pretty much. The other boards are completely alien to me and that one time when I visited them I had no idea who most of those people were nor did I have any desire to learn about them. Only recently I learned that /pt/ stood for pixy terry I think, which is apparently some weeabo, I don't know what /snow/ is about.

I like most of the threads on /ot/ and /g/, it's the only girl oriented imageboard that I know of where you can discuss any topic while being anonymous without having to fear of being judged or collecting some virtual brownie points. Despite that, a lot of threads are nice and civil save for a few racebaiting and infighting anons on occasion. So, /ot/ and /g/ are quite enough for me.

>>247760
I know that feel too, people often confide in me as well because I give that impression. Though honestly, I would never trust someone that gossips, it shows foul character and if someone is gossiping others then it's likely they are gossiping behind your back too and they probably can't be trusted with important matters.

It's a smart thing what you're doing and I wish more people were like that, especially in the workplace regardless of the motif. You may like office drama, to me, it's distracting and puts more stress than work itself.

>>247765
Have you tried Crystal.Cafe? It's a lot slower than lc but has no gossip boards and is girls only.

On the topic at hand, I don't take part in gossip but sometimes love listening to it because I'm nosy and find shitty people entertaining. I don't like most threads on /pt/ and /snow/ (bc of nitpicking and most aren't even shitty people, especially on /snow/) and make it a rule for myself not to post there, but knowing if people I used to enjoy are secretly shitty is useful. The Nicole Dollaganger thread is one example.

For personal matters, if I don't like someone I act coldly towards them and avoid them. If I have a problem, I let someone know.

The only 'gossip' I do is with my mother, in which she helps me deal with interpersonal matters I'm inexperienced with.

>>247736
I love gossiping. I’m interested in human beings and their stories. I love hearing different perspectives on the same issue. I care about what is going on in people’s lives. I think you can gain a deeper understanding of people’s motivations and your own behavior. It helps you stay away from people with bad traits and it can tell you when someone exhibited good traits like bravery. It lets you be sensitive to what individuals are going through if you know the “gossip” and you can subtly make their lives better without interrogating them or being obvious.

Online gossip makes you aware of how your actions affect others or why they’re not acceptable. It also prevents you from later making those mistakes or comforts you if you have already- that you can change. Most of the snow threads are interesting because people offer alternatives and outline why behavior isn’t ok. That’s extremely helpful for personal growth and reflection. As a young woman, the gossip surrounding the other young women can keep me on the right track and reinforce positive actions I’m taking.

In contrast to you, I think people who think they are better than gossiping are just self-involved and don’t care about other people.

I love a good gossip or shit talking session, but I'd never talk about things people have told me in private.

>>247817
>Online gossip makes you aware of how your actions affect others or why they’re not acceptable. It also prevents you from later making those mistakes or comforts you if you have already- that you can change.
This is exactly why I think places like lolcow are needed to some degree. I lucked out of a lot of dumb teenaged shit because I saw threads on Something Awful, 4chan, Encyclopedia Dramatica etc. laughing at people doing damaging things and calling them out for it. I could've very well ended up walking the wrong road myself if I didn't have certain behavior mirrored in a negative, albeit realistic light to me. I'm willing to bet that a lot of young people have learned what you shouldn't do by seeing cows being exposed.

Some of the thread subjects have benefited from their threads as well, some of them have turned their life around and fixed their act due to not getting away with their bullshit. However I admit that people can become too obsessed (or straight out abusive, like a lot of the trolls involved with Chris-chan) with the cows and nitpick them to death with no well-founded criticism though. But more often than not those people usually end up being cows themselves.

I used to gossip a lot. Over time I slowly lost all of my friends and I think part of why was that people came to see me as a negative person who wasn't fun to be around, so I stopped doing it. If I talk about other people with my friends now, it's mostly about mundane things such as what university they go to and stuff like that. I do admit I still lurk on /pt/ and /snow/ and other gossip websites about YouTubers.

>>247652
I don't think it's that bad really. Amongst friends it's mostly for entertainment and forming bonds, even if it can get somewhat negative or judgemental it's still less about that person and more what they can do for your conversation and relationship. I assume my friends talk about me, occasionally shit talking, and just accept it - I'm not perfect and. As long as you don't know the specifics, it's not gonna cause problems.

Gossip at work is more interesting to me. Up until recently I've been in small offices where gossip wasn't a big deal, now I'm in a big office with a lot of women around 20-40. Naturally there is a shitload of gossip, but it's almost all work related and I've come to realize that it's basically a problem solving strategy for people who don't feel they have the power to tell others how to do their job. We're not authority figures, so when we have problems with other people, we want to confirm that others agree and will back you up. Once you have the support you might be able to go to a manager or affect some change without worrying that you're in the wrong. I don't think it's as underhanded and evil as people act, I think it's just the most natural option for non confrontational people who don't automatically assume a) they are correct, and b) have the right to tell people what to do (ie unlike men). That said I rarely participate because if the wrong person finds out about it there's drama.

Gossip serves some practical use but people who gossip all the time are literal pieces of shit. They have this air about them that says they they are constantly collecting what you say for their strategic benefit. And if they never have anything good to say about others you best know they are talking shit about you as well.

>what does a site that is quitessentially revolving around gossip think about gossip?
why is this thread even here.

>>247848
> They have this air about them that says they are constantly collecting what you say for their strategic benefit.

This so fucking much! I've experienced it on my skin when even the most trivial events in my life somehow got to reach the ears of people I barely knew let alone some more important details. I don't share too intimate things with others but it puts me in rage when I see others, mainly women that can't keep their mouth shut for one second and have this innate need to talk about others and share everything you say and do. How empty must their heads and lives be, if they can only talk what others do?