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I was 18, I barely even remember it. Its like its all been blacked out with a marker. I can remember getting my blood drawn, I remember a nurse telling me I was so brave because I remember thinking that if I could speak I would say I wasn't, I remember the people rushed into the room but I can't remember how many or who they were. I remember screaming. And then the next thing I can remember, I was lying on my friend's couch eating chicken ramen noodles after being asleep for hours. I don't even remember how we got there from the ER. I think I'd slept through to the next day, but I'm not sure. I was sent home with copious amounts of codeine so the next week was a blur.
There was nothing spiritual about it, I didn't see my body from above, I didn't see a light. It was just fear and adrenaline and exhaustion. And, now, four years later, blackness.
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One time I did a double balloon inhalation of laughing gas after my boyfriend said he'd 'show me how to do it properly'. Suddenly I was in a world wreathed entirely in fire and demonic flame people were cackling and pulling me down and saying I was never going to see my boyfriend again and what an awful mistake I'd made.
Now I have panic attacks about hell and demons existing :)
I'm sorry to laugh at your pain but I'm laffin
At least you learned your lesson about how chemicals can fuck you up without getting a face tattoo or anything in the process. A therapist would help.
>>246205> I was ready to die
Same happened to me when I was 15. I was drowning in a lake and not sure if it was really drowning cause I felt absolutely peaceful and dreamy as I was reaching the bottom cause I couldn't swim.
I heard that drowning is super painful, as if your lungs were being crushed. For me, I was sleepy too as you mentioned, I even enjoyed it cause I heard neighbour kids laughing and I was just like okay guess I'll die, that'll teach you a lesson, fuckers
Same here. It was only an above ground pool so it wasn't nearly as risky as a river or the ocean but I wanted to swim again when everyone went to have dinner and I went in without supervision or anything to help me float. I believe I was 5 or 6 and I don't remember much except slowly sinking to the bottom. Also felt numb/sleepy and before my eyes closed I remember thinking how pretty the sun rays were poking through the moving water. I felt very calm and blacked out but I presume I was given cpr because I woke up on the balcony with everyone around me.
No one ever talked about it but my mother put me in intense swimming lessons to the point where I was swimming with kids 3 years older than me. I reflect on it sometimes and it felt more peaceful than anything.
Almost drowned when I was a kid and it was very similar for me. I remember sort of spinning around and feeling very calm and peaceful. There was no pain or panic, I don't think I even realised I was going to die, I just felt very relaxed. Then my memory goes blank so I guess I blacked out. I remember waking up on the beach with my dad looking down at me.
People always think I'm weird for saying almost drowning to death felt nice, but it really did feel so peaceful.
You were a really brave kid anon, I hope you can be proud of that forever
Reading all these drowning stories is making me think we should all get professional swimming coaching.
I'm the anon you responded to, and I had three years of swimming lessons until the coach gave up on me. I can only doggypaddle.
Although, I atleast know proper rescue methods and cpr now.
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My ex beat the shit out of me when I was 18, I was hospitalised with a punctured lung and a massive internal bleeding wound.
whilst my only family member available to help was in a different country ignoring me to go to a wedding of a woman she hated.
I felt numb and cold
Darkness filled me and I was nothing but pain
I’m terrified of dying alone
I coped by eating as much as I could once life was stable enough.
That was three years ago
I lost the weight but the nightmares persist
Phone wants to autocorrect to ipad for reasons.
I'm glad you made it, Anon.
He is indeed a massive dick…and a danger to other women.
You didn't experience anything because of the type of unconsciousness caused by things like benzos, alcohol, and opioids shuts the brain down so much you can't experience anything. People who overdose on opioids especially have no death trip. It's like going straight to black nothingness. And also because you weren't actually dying. You just took too much. It's pretty much impossible to OD on benzos alone.>>466530
Yes like I said above, it's next to impossible. The reason people die from benzos is because when mixed with other drugs, it can kill you. But if you're on an extreme amount and barely moving people are likely to call 911 because the person ODing probably seems in serious danger.
Thanks anon. It was years ago but I still think he deserves to burn forever.>>466202
Unfortunately not. I took him to court over that and some other heavy stuff but I lost because it was just my word over his. The way I explained the choking incident was "impossible" according to them.
i didnt have any real near death experiences, but a few cases where it felt like I was dying
It was mostly just panic attacks, but i didnt know what those were at first so every time i freaked out I thought I was actually dying. I could feel every cell giving up, Id ‘forget’ how to breathe, and couldnt feel my heartbeat. Id get cold, sweaty and shaky and Id just try to hold myself and remind myself that if I dont calm down now, that my last moments wouldnt feel painful and miserable.
It never worked, but eventually all that tension, shaking and fighting would wear me out and Id just fall asleep.
The last time I smoked weed it took those panic attacks and increased it 10 fold. It felt like my whole body froze up and the entire world was going to collapse in a manner of seconds. On top of that, I felt out of it for like a week after. My partner keeps trying to get me to try different strains because I didnt get panic attacks back when we smoked in high school and is convinced it would help my anxiety. I dont think she understands just how terrifying risking another panic attack is for me and probably thinks its stupid since its all in my head, but Im afraid of experiencing one that bad again
I used to be a really big stoner back in the day and wanted to stop when I was in my early twenties, so I did for several years. Over time, due to many things, my anxiety and panic attacks became a real problem and I tried weed again. It was really one of the worst mistakes. It made everything worse-just like how you described, it felt like the world was going to fall apart. Honestly, I'm not missing out on anything by just staying away from it. Its not worth it. I advise the same for yourself. Find something else to help you with your anxiety/panic attacks.
The most annoying part is idiots going, "maybe you're not smoking the right stuff," because they can't wrap their little heads around the fact that weed is not immaculate as they love to believe.
I had an ex who thought my anxiety attacks were me bullshitting cos he never understood it. He started smoking right after we broke up and a few months later he tells me he had a huge panic attack..his first panic attack and he's in his forties
He's one of those guys who'll never listen to you when you tell him drink depresses him so I didn't bother pointing out that possible connection
I had an NDE a few months back involving complications from a cosmetic surgery. I had previously been obese, lost a boatload of weight, and had a tummy tuck to repair the damage all the excess weight had done to my stomach (even post weight loss I had a pretty extreme "spare tire" situation because that was the part of my body that held the most fat.) I had been warned by 3 surgeons, one being the one who actually did the operation, that while unlikely, there could be extreme complications from the surgery because it's one of the most intense/invasive cosmetic procedures out there. I did take the warning seriously and made sure to make any effort I could to be in good condition pre-op and what happened was no fault of my own or the fault of any of the doctors who worked on me, it really was just a freak accident.
So, the actual surgery went 100% perfectly. No complications, I went under fine, and woke up with a nice flat tummy. I had the surgery at a private clinic and not a hospital so I was discharged about 2 hours after surgery to recover at home. I had my family with me to help me in/out of the car and to drive me home and make sure I was safe. I got into my house fine, and got cozied up in a recliner chair. I was a little out of it from the drugs they gave me during surgery but otherwise had no pain or issues. I spent the next few hours napping and watching TV with my family.
A few hours had passed, I think it was around 8 pm when I was watching a movie with my dad when all of a sudden my entire body heated up like I had the most intense fever in my life, just to get absolutely bone chilling cold within seconds. I told my dad what had just happened and immediately he knew that was not a good thing. He helped me check where my incision was to find that I had been bleeding out. My entire midsection was numb so I didnt feel the blood on me or the blood on my clothes/blankets, but they were SOAKED. My mom was in the room too at this point and both of them tried to help me staand up and I fainted- this is where the kinda weird part happened. All I remember is seeing (in my mind's eye so to speak, I was unconscious at this point) like a zoomed in image of the corner of the room I was in and I heard my own voice, but not coming from me, saying "dont go towards the light or anything, just pull through. Just dont go towards the light" like it wasnt my internal monologue, it was like a stranger had my exact voice and speech pattern. I woke up to my parents freaking out and slapping my face. The EMTs came shortly after that and I was taken to the ER.
To make a long story short, I had lost ~2 liters of blood, which I was told would have killed me had I been older or not in good health. My blood pressure was 80/40 when I got to the ER. I had to have my surgery completely re-opened and they couldn't even find where the bleeding came from when they did that. I was in the ICU for a couple days after that because it was really difficult to get my blood pressure back up after what had happened. They gave me 3 blood transfusions and countless saline IVs, probably around 7-8 if I had to guess.
This is a very abbreviated version of events but I often think back to what it was like to hear my own voice encourage me to live. It sounds kinda silly I guess but it makes me feel very content inside to imagine that there is something in me that wants me to keep going. I've made a lot of self destructive choices in my life so I really hold on to that memory. I'm not super into spiritual stuff but I do wonder what exactly happened during those moments I was unconscious. It was just hella weird but also cool that I lived to tell the tale. And for the record I'm extra happy I lived to see the results of the surgery because it looks pretty bomb.
One last thing- please if any of you have any sort of surgery please make sure you have people who care about you around you while you're post op. Had I been alone I probably would have just passed out and died. Even if it's minor or "just cosmetic", please always take surgery seriously. Crazy shit can happen.
I haven't experienced a NDE directly, but a couple of years ago I did survive a nasty heart infection from medical neglect. It went to my brain and almost killed me. I required emergency surgery, but no one expected me to live (or at least make it though without being paralyzed). As it was, I already survived something that has killed most strong, healthy adults who get it (I have always been very sickly and weak). Even if you're lucky enough to live, once the complications set in, that's usually it for you.
When I got on the operating table, I was ready to die. But I didn't. In a strange twist of luck, I survived and my brain somehow healed itself in an unexpected way that shocked even my neurosurgeon.
The only complication I have now is nerve damage in one leg.
Life has just gone on as usual, but for this reason I now believe in quantum immortality. I know it sounds retarded, but I just can't accept that I really beat such staggering odds without my consciousness jumping to another timeline.
In any case I am happy to be alive.
Good god, that must have been terrifying. I'm glad you lived through it though. IMO, I think the voice you heard was your higher self.>>472783
This. Weed can have a very paradoxical effect on people with pre-existing anxiety conditions. I don't know why this is so hard for other people to accept.>>474476
It might have been a glimpse into a possible future. Either way, definitely take it as a sign, because you have the power to change the outcome. Hold on to that will to live as long as you can.>>474519
Thank you, anon.