/ot/ - off-topic

I was 18, I barely even remember it. Its like its all been blacked out with a marker. I can remember getting my blood drawn, I remember a nurse telling me I was so brave because I remember thinking that if I could speak I would say I wasn't, I remember the people rushed into the room but I can't remember how many or who they were. I remember screaming. And then the next thing I can remember, I was lying on my friend's couch eating chicken ramen noodles after being asleep for hours. I don't even remember how we got there from the ER. I think I'd slept through to the next day, but I'm not sure. I was sent home with copious amounts of codeine so the next week was a blur.

There was nothing spiritual about it, I didn't see my body from above, I didn't see a light. It was just fear and adrenaline and exhaustion. And, now, four years later, blackness.

My sister put in gas while the car was stilling running and I was in it

8 or 9 years ago, our bus barely dodged an incoming high speed train.

I had an emergency appendectomy after my mum called another surgeon because she didn't trust the one who was going to operate on me when he said there was no rush and that my appendicitis could be cured with antibiotics.
Apparently it was about to rupture and the other surgeon caught wind of it early enough.
The first guy had accidentally cut into a boy's bladder whilst operating a hernia and put him in the hospital for months instead of weeks but they couldn't afford anyone better (back then I lived in a 2nd world country where you needed to pay a bribe if you want decent medical treatment).

My city was also bombed when I was 5 for a couple of months and when I was born there was a hyperinflation which made it hard to get food and basic necessities.
Few people know about this, I live abroad (have for most of my life) and most people don't even know that these events even occurred. Makes it funny to fuck with people who whine about muh white privilege.

Not sure this counts and honestly it’s pretty funny more then anything. I was having sex and my partner and he decided to grab my throat. He must have grabbed and squeezed just right cause I don’t even remember blacking out. But I had this weird “dream” or it felt like a memory. I was running in a field of tall grass during a summer sunset. I was yelling for my brother to wait for me and then BAM back into reality… He said I was twitching and my eyes rolled back. We finished having sex.

>>246169
That's not really funny, anon.

>>246169
I kind of had a really similar experience to you, except I wasn't being choked it just happened out of nowhere. I had a "dream" about a helicopter dropping a ladder while flying over a large snow mountain and inside the helicopter were 3 or 4 people covered head to toe in protective gear. I came back to reality after that.

I lived in Colombia.

>>246182
I STILL live in Colombia, God anon where are you now? I just woke up today at the sound of a gunshot and a bunch of people screaming that they got their phones stolen. Right in front of my ducking door.

>be 6 y/o me
>vacation with my family
>couldn't swim well
>me and my big sis went to the ocean although there were super big waves
>a big ass wave took me away and I almost drowned
>whenever I tried swimming up another wave came and pushed me down
>panicked but then gave up and became calm
>I was ready to die
>after what felt like an eternity my sister found me and saved me

I didn't feel anything spiritual or an out of body experience. I just got really calm and kinda felt as if I was going to faint/sleep

>>246194
One time I did a double balloon inhalation of laughing gas after my boyfriend said he'd 'show me how to do it properly'. Suddenly I was in a world wreathed entirely in fire and demonic flame people were cackling and pulling me down and saying I was never going to see my boyfriend again and what an awful mistake I'd made.

Now I have panic attacks about hell and demons existing :)

>>246206
I'm sorry to laugh at your pain but I'm laffin
At least you learned your lesson about how chemicals can fuck you up without getting a face tattoo or anything in the process. A therapist would help.

Childhood asthma, don’t remember any of it but a few hospital trips for turning blue

Drowning-shit hurts and it not peaceful. It’s terrifying. Fuck the beach.

Shock-Ludwig’s angina. They put in a saline drip and it apparently was too much for my body to take. All I remember is shaking, asking ‘why is that happening’ and then lots of faces and masks and machines while shaking off the table and not being able to speak or control my movements.

Woke up after emergency surgery and apparently react very poorly to anaesthesia.
According to nurses I’m an iv puller and make threats. Feels bad.

Was a pretty dumb teenager so there were some moderate overdoses here and there that might of taken me out but that’s boring shit.

No lights or mystic shit, just nurses sounding underwater and the repeated thought ‘well fuck’

I have a hereditary thing where I get nose bleeds easily and one week I had a cold.

All the nose blowing made my nose bleed one morning so I did my normal thing to try and stop it.

A few minutes later it's still going but I don't worry cuz it just needs time to clot.

More time passes and its STILL not stopping.

I get annoyed so I try a different way of stopping it but it continues to bleed at full speed.

I was standing up in the restroom and I started to feel dizzy from the blood loss.

Everything was slowly going black and I felt weak.

I called out to my mom but I guess she thought I was exaggerating so she just stood there.

I sat down in the middle of the hallway cuz I couldn't stand and I was losing it.

At that point, I thought I was gonna die so I said a prayer basically saying that if it's my time I'm ready to accept death.

I collapsed right in front of my sisters room and it was like falling asleep almost. Quite peaceful actually.

Sister opens the door and calls the police.

I vaguely remember her talking to my mom about me and mom was like "why did you call the police?".

While I was on the floor I guess the position I was in helped my bleeding to slow down.

I got up and went to my bed and I heard my dad talking to the police saying "It's just a nose bleed haha" so they left.

Dad told mom to get me something to eat and I took an iron pill. later I was back to normal.

I NEVER had a nose bleed like that but I'm glad its over. My mom apologized for the way she acted and that was that. NEVER. AGAIN.

I OD’d on fentanyl once and flatlined in the hospital. Last thing I remember before waking up in the hospital was snorting a line. It was like going to sleep and waking back up, except no dreams. Pretty much confirmed my atheism/

>>246205
> I was ready to die
Same happened to me when I was 15. I was drowning in a lake and not sure if it was really drowning cause I felt absolutely peaceful and dreamy as I was reaching the bottom cause I couldn't swim.

I heard that drowning is super painful, as if your lungs were being crushed. For me, I was sleepy too as you mentioned, I even enjoyed it cause I heard neighbour kids laughing and I was just like okay guess I'll die, that'll teach you a lesson, fuckers

BUMP! =>'._.'<=
⊙﹏⊙ (︶ω︶)(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

I nearly drowned once when I was pulled under by spinning water. It was in a river we always swam in so we thought it was safe. Thing is, I started hallucinating and I felt someone grab my arm and pull me up. When I got to the surface no one was around. I'm an atheist so I'm certain it wasn't godly interference or anything.

I also almost drowned when I was trying to save my little cousin from drowning. I didn't know how to properly help her so I kept getting pushed under and I thought I have to die for her so I just stayed under and got her to safety.

>>246205
>>248700

Same here. It was only an above ground pool so it wasn't nearly as risky as a river or the ocean but I wanted to swim again when everyone went to have dinner and I went in without supervision or anything to help me float. I believe I was 5 or 6 and I don't remember much except slowly sinking to the bottom. Also felt numb/sleepy and before my eyes closed I remember thinking how pretty the sun rays were poking through the moving water. I felt very calm and blacked out but I presume I was given cpr because I woke up on the balcony with everyone around me.

No one ever talked about it but my mother put me in intense swimming lessons to the point where I was swimming with kids 3 years older than me. I reflect on it sometimes and it felt more peaceful than anything.

>>463191
Almost drowned when I was a kid and it was very similar for me. I remember sort of spinning around and feeling very calm and peaceful. There was no pain or panic, I don't think I even realised I was going to die, I just felt very relaxed. Then my memory goes blank so I guess I blacked out. I remember waking up on the beach with my dad looking down at me.

People always think I'm weird for saying almost drowning to death felt nice, but it really did feel so peaceful.

>>463165
You were a really brave kid anon, I hope you can be proud of that forever

Reading all these drowning stories is making me think we should all get professional swimming coaching.

>>463280
I'm the anon you responded to, and I had three years of swimming lessons until the coach gave up on me. I can only doggypaddle.

Although, I atleast know proper rescue methods and cpr now.

When I was around 7 I had just learned how to ride a bike but I didn’t have one yet so I used my brothers which was a little big for me. Anyway I rode to my cousins house where my mom was and I wanted to practice on the grass on their lawn. But the lawn had a slope which I didn’t know so my bike started going faster and since I was still new and in shock I forgot how to brake. Now my cousins house was in front of one of the busiest streets and I was fucking headed towards it. Before I had a chance to brace for death the bike drives directly into a tree. When I tell you I had an angel watching over me that day!! I will never forget it

My exboyfriend was super abusive and always said mental shit towards me to fuck with my head. I think this was around the time I knew I was pregnant but didn't take a test yet (didn't tell him yet). He wanted sex, I said no. I don't remember how I got on the mattress but next thing I knew he was choking me. I was being pressed into the mattress and that's all I remember before running to my room apparently (we were room mates and had separate rooms). It was weird. I felt like that scene in "Get Out" where he goes deeper into the dark.

I also was almost hit by a Jeep in highschool, crossing the road. I felt the tires run over my toes. Another time I almost got hit was by a 18 wheeler that luckily stopped just before my car. It was super slippery, I apparently "had to go to work" and spun out in my shitty car. I tried to move but freaked out when all I saw were big headlights. I know I haven't "felt" death but it was true fear.

Similar to other anons but I almost drowned as a kid as well. It didn't really feel like anything, kind of peaceful. Alternatively I also OD'd as a teen and it was the most painful experience of my life. My stomach felt like it was going to explode. The moral of the story is if you have to die, drown yourself I suppose.

Was going around a bend on a dual carriageway. I was in left lane (UK road) and this red audi was in the right and was drifting into my lane, he was about to hit the nose of my car so I braked and my car spun out, over the central reservation across the other two lanes and into the crash barrier. Air bags went off and car was totaled. I walked away from it without a scratch and pray every night now lol

My ex beat the shit out of me when I was 18, I was hospitalised with a punctured lung and a massive internal bleeding wound.

whilst my only family member available to help was in a different country ignoring me to go to a wedding of a woman she hated.

I felt numb and cold
Darkness filled me and I was nothing but pain

I’m terrified of dying alone

I coped by eating as much as I could once life was stable enough.

That was three years ago

I lost the weight but the nightmares persist

one time i went out swimming with my cousin, we in the deep end and when i was swimming back up for air he pushed me back under the water. i almost drowned and he just laughed it off, pretty creepy.

I once OD'd on opiods and collapsed on the stairs of my ex(boyfriend at the time)'s house. I'm pretty sure I was just high as shit but I remember seeing this big light (cliche, I know), and I could hear everyone's conversation downstairs as though they were through really high def headphones, even though there was a fair distance between us all, and no background noise at all. And I just remember this big wave of calmness wash over me, my whole body was completely numb and I knew I couldn't move but I could smile, and all I was doing was smiling and thinking about how glad I was that everything was finally going to be over.

And then the light went out and I shot right up and ran up the stairs to the bathroom and puked. So yeah, I'm 99% certain I was just high. But at the time it felt extremely real.

I've had two experiences like this (I'm not an addict I just used to do stupid suicidal shit) and it's really sort of depressing that in both instances I've felt completely calm and completely happy believing I would die.

>>463752
Yep that's an ipiod high. Haha. At least it was pleasant up until you puked.

>>463757
*opiod
Phone wants to autocorrect to ipad for reasons.

>>463757
>>463752
>>463758
it's spelled opioid.

In hospital, 30 weeks pregnant with sepsis. 42C fever (107F, I think?).

I was hallucinating because my fever was so high. I stopped breathing at one point and in my head it was because there were hundreds of big spiders on top of my chest crushing me. At another point I thought I’d been accused of shooting someone and that I was in a fancy apartment building.

Almost ten years on from that now, I’ve got a healthy kid. I’ve got mild kidney damage but hey, I’m still kicking :) just taking good care of myself.

Like some other anons I was choked until I passed out, except I didn't expect it and my ex was in a fit of rage. I remember extreme panic and clawing at his hands then all of a sudden I was almost in a tunnel? And my life was flashing before my eyes. Right before I regained consciousness I said to myself "I wonder if so and so can hang out today?". When I woke up he was gone. He later explained that my eyes rolled into the back of my head and I became limp so he ran. What a dick.

>>466152
I'm glad you made it, Anon.

He is indeed a massive dick…and a danger to other women.

>>466152
Please tell me he's in jail

I took a massive xanax OD and nearly died. I woke up in hospital a couple of days later and didn't remember anything. I just remember being so fucking happy before I took the OD, as I knew I wasn't going to wake up from it.

I also had a really bad asthma attack a few years back. I passed out on the side of the road for a few minutes before the ambulance came.

I never experienced any visions or anything, but I'm 0% spiritual/religious so??

>>466483

Isn't it super hard to die from Xanax? at least that was i was told, i was thinking of killing myself that way too but from what i have found so far it is unlikely to work well and only have like 15 pills of 0.5 mg alprazolam

>>466483
You didn't experience anything because of the type of unconsciousness caused by things like benzos, alcohol, and opioids shuts the brain down so much you can't experience anything. People who overdose on opioids especially have no death trip. It's like going straight to black nothingness. And also because you weren't actually dying. You just took too much. It's pretty much impossible to OD on benzos alone.

>>466530
Yes like I said above, it's next to impossible. The reason people die from benzos is because when mixed with other drugs, it can kill you. But if you're on an extreme amount and barely moving people are likely to call 911 because the person ODing probably seems in serious danger.

Around the age of 4-5 I found out I was deathly allergic to penicillin when I started to throw up blood and my whole face started to swell. I don’t remember much about it but I vividly remember the beginning stages. First I got hives, was super itchy and nauseous. I was on the couch watching Tom and Jerry before I started to vomit blood all over myself. Once my throat started to close off I was basically suffocating while choking on my own blood. Talk about traumatic. Don’t remember anything after that until I woke up in the hospital. I was a sick kid with a lot of health problems in my youth, after that experience anytime I was prescribed medication my mom had to literally hold me down and force me to take it because I was so afraid I’d have the same reaction. I’m pretty good about taking them now, however if I’m ever prescribed an antibiotic in the same family I practically beg my doctor for something different. I’m not sure if I’m just allergic to penicillin or the whole family but I do NOT want to find out

was hostage at home, age 14, i was just chilling playing on my ds and a guy with a gun shows up at my door telling me to go to the living room, had a gun over my head for 2 hours. Ironically my brain shut down all the fear and panic and i was annoyed of all things.

tried to off myself recently, that ones was closest to death, everything got black and i was feeling the worst pain i've ever felt at the moment, then i puked black and blood on the floor and i just sat there in awe. My nose was bleeding and my eyes were bloodshot.

>>246182
>>246194
>thinks Colombia is dangerous

Laughs in Venezuelan*

Saquenme de aqui ;_;

>>466806

So if i pop a few Xanax and down a beer i´ll just black out and wake up? Might still do it just to see.

>>467648
God I wish the whole 'laughs in .." meme would die off already

>>467614
What did you do anon? Pills? Did you end up with liver damage?

>>466164
Thanks anon. It was years ago but I still think he deserves to burn forever.

>>466202
Unfortunately not. I took him to court over that and some other heavy stuff but I lost because it was just my word over his. The way I explained the choking incident was "impossible" according to them.

I almost died from alcohol poisoning. I had no medical attention. I don't remember anything but my friend said I kept mumbling random cards because we had played a card game together. I don't really drink anymore.

>>467650
Eh if you pop just a couple and drink a few beers you're either going to pass out or (more likely) end up doing some weird shit. Benzos and alcohol really unhinge people. Would not recommend. That's how you end up in jail kek

>>467648
Imagine seriously gatekeeping this.

>>468652

imagine thinking a fucking joke is gatekeeping

i didnt have any real near death experiences, but a few cases where it felt like I was dying

It was mostly just panic attacks, but i didnt know what those were at first so every time i freaked out I thought I was actually dying. I could feel every cell giving up, Id ‘forget’ how to breathe, and couldnt feel my heartbeat. Id get cold, sweaty and shaky and Id just try to hold myself and remind myself that if I dont calm down now, that my last moments wouldnt feel painful and miserable.

It never worked, but eventually all that tension, shaking and fighting would wear me out and Id just fall asleep.

The last time I smoked weed it took those panic attacks and increased it 10 fold. It felt like my whole body froze up and the entire world was going to collapse in a manner of seconds. On top of that, I felt out of it for like a week after. My partner keeps trying to get me to try different strains because I didnt get panic attacks back when we smoked in high school and is convinced it would help my anxiety. I dont think she understands just how terrifying risking another panic attack is for me and probably thinks its stupid since its all in my head, but Im afraid of experiencing one that bad again

>>469381

I used to be a really big stoner back in the day and wanted to stop when I was in my early twenties, so I did for several years. Over time, due to many things, my anxiety and panic attacks became a real problem and I tried weed again. It was really one of the worst mistakes. It made everything worse-just like how you described, it felt like the world was going to fall apart. Honestly, I'm not missing out on anything by just staying away from it. Its not worth it. I advise the same for yourself. Find something else to help you with your anxiety/panic attacks.

The most annoying part is idiots going, "maybe you're not smoking the right stuff," because they can't wrap their little heads around the fact that weed is not immaculate as they love to believe.

>>470052
I had an ex who thought my anxiety attacks were me bullshitting cos he never understood it. He started smoking right after we broke up and a few months later he tells me he had a huge panic attack..his first panic attack and he's in his forties

He's one of those guys who'll never listen to you when you tell him drink depresses him so I didn't bother pointing out that possible connection

I had an NDE a few months back involving complications from a cosmetic surgery. I had previously been obese, lost a boatload of weight, and had a tummy tuck to repair the damage all the excess weight had done to my stomach (even post weight loss I had a pretty extreme "spare tire" situation because that was the part of my body that held the most fat.) I had been warned by 3 surgeons, one being the one who actually did the operation, that while unlikely, there could be extreme complications from the surgery because it's one of the most intense/invasive cosmetic procedures out there. I did take the warning seriously and made sure to make any effort I could to be in good condition pre-op and what happened was no fault of my own or the fault of any of the doctors who worked on me, it really was just a freak accident.

So, the actual surgery went 100% perfectly. No complications, I went under fine, and woke up with a nice flat tummy. I had the surgery at a private clinic and not a hospital so I was discharged about 2 hours after surgery to recover at home. I had my family with me to help me in/out of the car and to drive me home and make sure I was safe. I got into my house fine, and got cozied up in a recliner chair. I was a little out of it from the drugs they gave me during surgery but otherwise had no pain or issues. I spent the next few hours napping and watching TV with my family.

A few hours had passed, I think it was around 8 pm when I was watching a movie with my dad when all of a sudden my entire body heated up like I had the most intense fever in my life, just to get absolutely bone chilling cold within seconds. I told my dad what had just happened and immediately he knew that was not a good thing. He helped me check where my incision was to find that I had been bleeding out. My entire midsection was numb so I didnt feel the blood on me or the blood on my clothes/blankets, but they were SOAKED. My mom was in the room too at this point and both of them tried to help me staand up and I fainted- this is where the kinda weird part happened. All I remember is seeing (in my mind's eye so to speak, I was unconscious at this point) like a zoomed in image of the corner of the room I was in and I heard my own voice, but not coming from me, saying "dont go towards the light or anything, just pull through. Just dont go towards the light" like it wasnt my internal monologue, it was like a stranger had my exact voice and speech pattern. I woke up to my parents freaking out and slapping my face. The EMTs came shortly after that and I was taken to the ER.

To make a long story short, I had lost ~2 liters of blood, which I was told would have killed me had I been older or not in good health. My blood pressure was 80/40 when I got to the ER. I had to have my surgery completely re-opened and they couldn't even find where the bleeding came from when they did that. I was in the ICU for a couple days after that because it was really difficult to get my blood pressure back up after what had happened. They gave me 3 blood transfusions and countless saline IVs, probably around 7-8 if I had to guess.

This is a very abbreviated version of events but I often think back to what it was like to hear my own voice encourage me to live. It sounds kinda silly I guess but it makes me feel very content inside to imagine that there is something in me that wants me to keep going. I've made a lot of self destructive choices in my life so I really hold on to that memory. I'm not super into spiritual stuff but I do wonder what exactly happened during those moments I was unconscious. It was just hella weird but also cool that I lived to tell the tale. And for the record I'm extra happy I lived to see the results of the surgery because it looks pretty bomb.

One last thing- please if any of you have any sort of surgery please make sure you have people who care about you around you while you're post op. Had I been alone I probably would have just passed out and died. Even if it's minor or "just cosmetic", please always take surgery seriously. Crazy shit can happen.

>>470052
The funniest thing is that weed actually caused the only panic attacks I've ever had. Yes, both sativa and indica.

I haven't experienced a NDE directly, but a couple of years ago I did survive a nasty heart infection from medical neglect. It went to my brain and almost killed me. I required emergency surgery, but no one expected me to live (or at least make it though without being paralyzed). As it was, I already survived something that has killed most strong, healthy adults who get it (I have always been very sickly and weak). Even if you're lucky enough to live, once the complications set in, that's usually it for you.

When I got on the operating table, I was ready to die. But I didn't. In a strange twist of luck, I survived and my brain somehow healed itself in an unexpected way that shocked even my neurosurgeon.
The only complication I have now is nerve damage in one leg.

Life has just gone on as usual, but for this reason I now believe in quantum immortality. I know it sounds retarded, but I just can't accept that I really beat such staggering odds without my consciousness jumping to another timeline.

In any case I am happy to be alive.

I’m not sure if this counts as a near-death experience but yesterday I had a nightmare that I was actually dead. I could see someone’s hands putting a blue cover over my face as I was laying on the couch (my everyday sleeping spot) telling my family that I died from an “overdose”; never mentioned what kind of overdose but I heard no one crying, only chatter of what was happening.

The dream repeated itself again and instead of being paralyzed with fear inside my body, I felt convinced that I was really dead then my thought process went like “okay, so I just wait to die off completely then or…?”

I don’t remember how I woke up after that and I don’t remember if I was scared but am scared now just reliving it while typing.

I hope this is really a sign from God telling my to stop trying to kill myself after my last attempt two weeks ago and the fact that I started fantasizing about scarfing my antidepressants as another way out because I don’t feel like dying now.

>>472723
>>474445
I'm happy you lived to tell your stories. Welcome back!

>>472723
Good god, that must have been terrifying. I'm glad you lived through it though. IMO, I think the voice you heard was your higher self.

>>472783
This. Weed can have a very paradoxical effect on people with pre-existing anxiety conditions. I don't know why this is so hard for other people to accept.

>>474476
It might have been a glimpse into a possible future. Either way, definitely take it as a sign, because you have the power to change the outcome. Hold on to that will to live as long as you can.

>>474519
Thank you, anon.

>>474557
Thank you anon, I don’t think I want to die anymore after that episode and should probably get more close to God now