No. 238519
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My mother has doctor diagnosed BPD and my father was abusive with my mother although not with me and my siblings (he passed away 6 years ago) so I had a shitty relationship with my mother and my father was absent and he tried to compensate through gifts and freedom to do whatever I wanted. It was different with my mother because she would try to manipulate very single aspect of my life. I would say he was abusive to her for both her being a cunt and him being a disgusting cheater. It was mostly his fault because even though my mother is a cunt, he could just have divorced instead of cheating several times and making the situation even more shitty.
Often my parents would be thoroughly dissapointed at me and involve me in their fights. When my father passed I had to take care of my mother like she was a disabled person. While I took care of her she would do all sorts of fucked up things, like make me believe my boyfriend and friends hated me and were only using me, constantly shit on my self esteem, hobbies, desires, etc. Through my entire life she fucked me up pretty hard. I moved to another country 3 years ago and never spoke to her again. That's when my life actually started. There are a lot of things I remember that happened but can't remember the events specifically because my mind deleted a lot of trauma I have been through.
No. 238552
>>238499Anon my mum would say hateful things to me all the time. She didn't drink much back then but she was always angry, anything set her off. If something set her off she'd come looking for me to harass about it. She would follow me about screaming and slap me around etc for a prolonged time and it would happen several times a week.
You need to move out. My relationship with my mum got better since, but if we spend any length of time together we just clash again, but I can leave. My Mum would be nice to everyone, and would not hold back embarrassing me either. It's her issue, she's projecting on to you. I had a brother she would never hassle. He was treated like a prince. Her husband left her and he tells me it's because she's psycho. I believe him lol
No. 238555
both of my parents were shit to me. my dad would wake up & spank me as a toddler because he would have dreams of me not listening to him, my mom would lay there and tell me i'll be fine.
they would put the burden on me on how poor they are and growing up i wouldn't ask them to buy me anything because i tried as much to avoid hear them complaining about money, even after my sister was born and they bought her so many things, even to this day.
in middle school my dad emotionally abused me to the point where he made me believe i was being bullied for having acne and looking ugly, when it was him the entire time.
near the end of high school, they made sure i looked at colleges near home so i wouldn't have to dorm or anything and because it was cheaper, which i totally understand. while i was in college, they kept pushing the fact that i needed a job to help pay for schooling, even though i got government checks that paid off my courses and left me with about $300 or so for books, gas money, and whatever else. and this was constant, literally every other day i would have them complaining i needed a job because the family is poor, which is funny because my dad was the one who decided to start paying for my uncles rent instead of our own family bills, so suddenly its my fault. i got so stressed out about this i dropped out of college.
i got a job working with my aunt. i wanted to save up and get a bit of experience to look for another job in a couple months.
a few weeks after, my mom starts asking to "borrow" money to help pay off her new car even though i never drove it. she said it was only going to be for a month or two, it's only temporary. a few weeks after that, she starts asking me for a few dollars, she just ends up giving to my sister money to hang out, pay for her field trips, then $200 to just donate to school, and THEN to help pay for a Taylor Swift concert ticket. my mom and dad start suggesting i look into going back to college again… and i need a better paying job.
confused with life at this point, i move in with my aunt. i'm recovering mentally. dad calls me every other day to ask if i'm thinking about looking for classes, i start to ignore his calls. mom comes over every week to try to do the same thing and to complain how my sister is making them poorer bc she's looking to go to a university out of state. immediately furious, because i wasn't able to even go to the university in town and stay at home.
i would visit my parents house to hang with my sister and dogs. my mom suggests i go take the older dog to get his nails done at the pet store, i ask why can't anybody else do it if he's living there. i take a better look at the dog, teeth are rotting, breath stinks, paws are red. the other dog is fine.
i get a job with my grandpa doing janitor work while his wife is out of state, grandpa gives me my cut of the pay, but my mom ends up taking more than half of it for herself, didn't find out about that until my grandpa's wife came back. i try looking for a full time janitor job. my aunt's supportive, my parents yell at me for even suggesting telling me it's "a man's job" and i should just try to look for classes instead, while also telling me i need a better job. never gets better.
i ended up moving in with my boyfriend, along with my dog with the bad breath and nails, found a better paying job. my dad keep leaving me voice messages about looking for classes. i eventually shut my parents out and ignore every attempt to contact me because i know it's going to be about college.
i haven't talked to my parents in months at this point. my sister's off at university out of town, living in a dorm. suddenly i notice on facebook i see my mom posting photos of her and my dad going to floor seat concerts every month and driving to my sister's school every weekend, i'm extremely furious bc for what music they listen to, the shit's expensive. kinda weird because before i moved out they were demanding i needed to start contributing more in the house.
all i'm currently dealing with is just my mom texting me every other week just to see if i'm keeping in touch with my biological dad, who we all just found out about. i know the reason why she keeps asking me is because he's making almost half a million a year. i'm taking none of his money, but if he wants to give me something, i'm keeping it to myself, never telling her, and saving it.
overall, being the scapegoat of the family fucks you up. i'm glad i'm doing better financially than my parents, but holy shit the trauma i had to go through.