File: 1735004807293.jpg (73.74 KB, 452x566, 1733174108193.jpg)
No. 2318973
>>2318922This is such a sad response to give that
nonnie and I hope she reads mine instead of yours.
No. 2318997
File: 1735008972534.jpg (67.65 KB, 736x735, 27541062a5dba8d9ab9e798b936614…)
I'm kind of sick of people making comments about my driving anxiety. The comments are not a regular thing and they don't directly call me a loser but they do make small, snide or sly comments like "well you never drive anyway" as if I'm just lazy or expecting people to give me lifts. The thing is I passed my test first time with only 2 minor faults in 2019, and I was driving in my fairly rural hometown for around a year. I even drove over the motorway with no google maps for 2 hours, alone, for the first time at night! I know that I am not a necessarily "bad" driver but I'm not confident at all, and quite anxious behind the wheel unless it's a quiet night on roads that I'm familiar with. The thing is, I didn't ask for people to make comments about my anxiety and I also don't ask/expect people to taxi me around at all. I currently live in a busy city in the UK that's notorious for extremely bad and aggressive drivers to the point where people make memes about the standard of driving here. I drove here a few times when I first moved here, and although I didn't crash or anything, it was still busy and stressful and extremely overwhelming.
I obviously struggle with anxiety, and because of that I feel extremely ashamed of not being "normal" and capable of doing normal things like everyone else can. But what makes me feel even more unmotivated and even more shit is when people make small comments about it as if I am lazy. I am not lazy, my brain clearly works very different to yours, and I wish you would just respect that and please not point out my insecurities out loud as if it's going to help anything. It's very easy to point fingers and call me an autist or that I'm scared to drive when you haven't lived a day in my shoes or what it's like to feel like a loser or abnormal because I struggle to control my anxiety. This shit is ruining my life and I really need to be on medication and tackle my fears but damn I wish people could keep their rude comments to themselves and let me fix my life on my own without rude comments. But yet if I were to bite back at these people and call them retarded for having children super young or making dumb hurtful life decisions or make comments about their own mental health that would probably be too far, right? I'm seeing this pattern of people thinking it's okay to pick at my faults or flaws but I could never possibly do that shit to them because that would be unacceptable.
No. 2319130
>>2319112I'm not fishing for pity and there's nothing redeemable about myself
if there's anyone I wouldn't ever want to interact with as a friend, it's certainly myself
No. 2319211
>>2318973i just read it
nonnie and it was really kind of you to take the time to respond and i think i am wise enough despite the influence of emotions to recognize that your response is a better solution/way to go about it rather than just basing my worth, especially as an artist, on how skinny i am or how pretty i am. its incredibly fucked up but i have been crying over the coverage of luigi, a male, and how he can gain such admiration not only for his act but who he was as a person. i dont want to seek admiration from what i do, its so fickle and holds me back because i feel i cant compete with anyone. thus, aligning with what you said, i must compete with myself.
i will say that my particular creative outlets are not illustration, though for a project i do need to improve in that regard so hm! maybe i will take you up on the offer to ask for advice in that thread.
nonnie im getting my period, im insane this evening
No. 2319237
>>2319235>only retards use drugsonly retards who never tried anything say that.
drugs make your brain work differently so you can take a substance and see yourself or your skills in a different light. even a one time experience of a different mode of operation can remove self inflicted constraints of the ego that fuck with artistic expression, lower exaggerated shame and increase self confidence.
No. 2319251
>>2319246You look retarded when you say
>just do some drugs??? in response to anons saying that they feel like they’re not capable of making art, and then trying to double down on it by saying that doing drugs “lowers your inhibitions” kek. I don’t think snorting a few lines will help our
nonny create the type of art she’d like to
No. 2319414
File: 1735043659935.jpg (94.95 KB, 1280x720, ebay.jpg)
>Selling on eBay for 2+ years
>Sold over 55 items in those 2+ years
>Made over $1500 so far
>Never received a negative review
>Never sent a parcel out late
>STILL have to wait 2 months for eBay to release funds
It's so ridiculous. My buyer paid me on 18 December, I shipped the item on 20 December, and eBay tells me my payment will be ready late March 2025. It's such a joke. Whenever I ask about why my money takes so long, it's always "you don't have enough history on your account." I've been selling on this account for TWO years. When am I gonna have enough of a history? 5 years? 10 years? Just let me have my fucking money. I've never broken the terms of service, I've always had positive reviews, I always ship my items on time, WHY do I get treated like I'm a criminal bootlegger smuggler? It's fucking eBay not the bazaars of Algiers. Let me have my money eBay. I could understand a week, or two weeks, but more than 12 weeks?? Just to get a payout of $45? Such a fucking joke. This is why people don't sell on eBay.
No. 2319573
File: 1735054798992.jpeg (66.88 KB, 749x710, IMG_5440.jpeg)
>have crush on a my good friend of a couple of years
>know she isn’t into me, but still want to be her friend so try to get closer with her
>end up being very clingy at a party with her after getting very drunk
>couple of weeks later…
>she finds out that I was into her which is why I was so clingy that night
>proceeds to tell all of our mutual friends how she felt predated upon and how she doesn’t want to be around me anymore
>she hates me now
>basically all of our mutual friends have sided with her
>mfw I never laid a hand on her
>mfw I never said a word about how I felt to her
>mfw she said she felt “icked out” that I felt that way about her
>mfw when she bullshitted a bunch of reasons to explain why she never wants to talk to me again (her words)
its hard being a certified lover girl nonnas
No. 2319574
File: 1735055062623.jpg (6.08 KB, 225x225, 1000004884.jpg)
I miss Britney Venti, I hope she's having a good Christmas
No. 2319576
I think that I struggle with identity issues because how I view myself is very different from how I'm being perceived by others. Maybe I'm a retard or an autist (and I actually mean it, maybe I should get checked) but when people describe me I often think "Yeah, no" but not in a superior kind of way, I'm puzzled.
I've been not been educated in the best way and I believe that good people can do bad things and vice versa but I think that what I do is basic human decency.
People describe me as kind, caring, the "mom figure", always there, always ready and when they do it's not like that I want to be edgy or shit like that by saying no but I think that what I do is the most normal shit ever. Yah of course I'm there when people need me, of course I can offer solutions to problems, of course I can support people and care for them, one time I offered to be a delivery person for groceries to a sick friend and I was viewed as some kind of saint. I think that's normal. My friends tell me that I think too much about things and their explanation but the thing that I think about is how they would pinpoint that, I mean it's not normal? One time a friend said "Most people wouldn't do a lick of what you do" and I'm like that's rough? People are that shitty? I get it, maybe I'm the overthinking retard and I would totally accept it as a label but it makes me a little sad thinking that people automatically assume that other people are shitty so if I do something kind, that comes to me automatically, they make surprised comments about it. It's not like I don't like compliments, its just baffling how kindness is being seen exceptional, that's all.
No. 2319612
File: 1735058817182.gif (564.26 KB, 500x475, castlerain.gif)
i love you…why don't you love me…this is worse than a breakup, i feel my heart slowly crumbling into pieces only you can put me back together again yet you turn away from me
look only my way please
it's a self fulling prophecy i hate it
i hate you
please don't go
don't leave me for her
No. 2319757
File: 1735069902030.jpeg (Spoiler Image,200.51 KB, 1170x1696, IMG_1094.jpeg)
was studying abroad in Korea, installed an app, matched with a guy, 10 days of texting we meet up, all we do is talk and we're still in touch even though I'm back in the states but during our little outing I felt he was trying to see how I felt so he could act accordingly and I was doing the same. anyway, I drunk called after the date and to me I felt like I got friendzoned. if I was prettier I feel like the outcome would be different, now I just feel like he's friends out of pity. I feel like I'm playing hard to get rid of but if we don't go without talking he sends a text. we didn't flirt before meeting but it was subtle, like we'll see. I'm just upset because I wish I was better. after meeting there hasn't been any sign he's still romantically interested in me GRRRR
No. 2319793
>>2319584>>2319573Samefag as before, but this is why I don’t bother coming out to my friends (I’m bi anyway).
Some women tend to be so weird and take you as a literal predator or think that you automatically have a crush on them, but they’ll joke about trying girls on the same breath kek.
No. 2319843
>>2319757continuation of vent
he was definitely romantically interested before meeting me
during our outing (I refuse to call it date because he didn't say it was a date but according to my friends it was a date, also he was also dressed for a date)
> made a reservation (bare minimum, nice gesture)> commuted like an hour and 30 minutes to see me >tried to meet me by my dorm (considerate, bare minimum)>got off at the wrong place so we met at the restaurant, after saying 'I thought you would wait for me outside, I arrive and I see him outside, with no puffer waiting for me (cute)>opens the doors (bare minimum, nice gesture)>he leads me to the table and he had already poured water into the cups (bare minimum, nice gesture though. customary in Korea, girl friends do it for me too)>when we sat down he very cutely and shyly hands me a hot pack, I use it and when I hand it back he says its for me (so cute, boyfriend material)>offered to pay for dinner (but then I made a petrified face because I'm so stupid and anxious) I said no, then he was quiet, asked if I had a Korean bank account, I said yes, and he till said he could pay with his card and then I can send him my half. we ended up splitting it>before meeting I expressed how I was sad asians don't really hug and he said "yup especially between men and women unless they are in a relationship". kept saying he would hug, pet me, maybe even hold hands when we met. at the end when he said bye, he veery quickly gave me a side hug that I wasn't expecting but I couldn't even hug back because it was that quick. overthinking that because of what he said but also because he didn't have to hug me, he could have just waved bye. but also it could have been a friendly hug and out of pity.
No. 2319859
File: 1735074492021.png (1.03 MB, 648x980, FIF_4488-Copy.png)
I'm trying to get used to wearing skirts again, it's an uphill battle but I don't want to let my body dysmorphia dictate everything in my life - it's already starting to affect my relationship with others and how I view other people's bodies (with quite some internalized jealousy that I really try to ignore).
I have wide hips and a wide ribcage, which means the area in between is free real estate that's mainly fat (idk if I'm a "true" hourglass, I feel like I'm just a freak with a wide ribcage) so anything with an elastic waist just goes SHLOORP and cinches my waist; making it look like I'm wearing something that is too small, even if I size up. I didn't think too much about it until I looked at myself in the mirror a few years ago and realized that my wide ribcage makes it look like I have a giant muffin top when it's just…I'm just shaped like this. And now I can't unsee it whenever I wear skirts. I try to cover it up with wide belts but they can't save me all the time. So I'm trying to learn to not think about it.
I feel like denying myself these skirts I so love is denying myself my femininity. I of course have a few dresses I enjoy wearing too, but it's hard to find ones that fit how I want because of - again - my waist, since I also have a pretty long torso.
No. 2319945
>>2319843I can't possibly know your situation but here is my analysis. The nice gestures are because he is asian, being polite is the norm. This goes for paying for you too, because you are female and he is male. Declining the man's offer to pay as a woman and splitting it is the polite thing here in America but he probably took it as an insult or a rejection from you. This part makes me think he took it as a rejection, like you were mortified he even thought about paying for you kek
>then I made a petrified face because I'm so stupid and anxious) I said no, then he was quietOverall he could've been initially into you, but got turned off by the interaction. The thing about asian men is that they expect women to act submissive, in the way that they think women will shyly fend off advances but "let them happen" if the woman likes him back. Frankly they are really annoying to date even if they are polite so don't worry too much about it anon.
t. asian
No. 2319954
In my new workplace there are a bunch of lesbians, and I made friends with two of them.
I invited them over for pizza and when I saw one of the two out of work (we work in food context, our uniform is rather ugly and plain) I just fell in love at “first” sight.
I can’t help but think of her all the time. I want to talk to her, I want to talk about her, I want to see her, I want to kiss her. I can’t stop fantasizing about her kissing me, even listening to music which makes me imagine her in all sort of contexts.
Every day I walk into work thinking of how much I want to see her, I don’t even mind if she’s in another department as long as it allows me to get a glance at her.
I felt like this once in my life, her stare is just too intense and I struggle to put two coherent words together. She’s fun, interesting, yet mysterious and impenetrable. At times I think she might be interested, at times I think I’m just delusional. I think I am reading too much into things because I want to still hope for it to happen.
I will probably never understand how she feels about me without asking directly but it’s too early for that.
Everytime I try to flirt I just pussy out adding “as a friend” to the sentence. I’m just that pathetic.
I feel as if I’m walking in a fire that will destroy me inside out and not leave any ashes.
No. 2319955
File: 1735080736502.gif (458.95 KB, 220x223, hugs.gif)
>>2319953i’m sorry nona. you can spend Christmas Eve with us ♥
No. 2320053
File: 1735092220465.png (372.4 KB, 509x339, me i guess.png)
So my sister is a lesbian and has been in a relationship with a woman for six years. Tonight was the night where my sister came and introduced her to the family so we could spend Christmas eve together. I've met my sister's girlfriend before and she is such a lovely person, really nice. Anyways, I was sweating the whole time because my dad is honestly kind of a pos, misogynist kind of person. I was hoping he wouldn't even be at Christmas eve but he was there.
And I spent the whole evening with him just because I wanted my sister and her girlfriend to have a somewhat decent night. I hope this doesn't make me sound like 'gay savior' or I guess technically 'lesbian savior'. I just can't stand my own father, even as thirty year old woman, and I don't want to hear him say anything crazy to anyone else if I can prevent it. So I just distracted my dad the whole evening by being with him. It was honestly torture KEK.
But at least it's over. I need a drink.
No. 2320054
>>2320053You sound like an amazing sister, honestly. God bless you
nonnie. Hope you enjoy the rest of your night.
No. 2320067
File: 1735094744269.gif (1.29 MB, 498x270, 83491528145624.gif)
Tonight and likely tomorrow will be rather boring and depressingly silent due to tense dynamics in the house, and my mom was too tired and busy to go see the light show with me. We're all just sitting in the dark on our phones and not talking to eachother, but tonight I'm watching a Christmas movie and I'm excited for tomorrow because I brought some presents for myself that I told myself not to open until Christmas day. It'll at least be somewhat alright so I'll be happy.
No. 2320087
>>2320080I haven't spent a holiday with my reconstructed "family" in years
my father is a literal manwhore who every other week gets a new "girlfriend" decades younger than him, while being nearly 70
worst part he's so insistent on having them meet me as if it gave him any sort of credential as caring about "family values"
I'd rather not even think about it
No. 2320245
File: 1735130505855.jpg (303.19 KB, 1080x1313, 1000072145.jpg)
I will die alone. I will never have a group of friends, and I know this because I never have had a group of friends. All my efforts mean nothing. Everyone hates me even though I try my very hardest. Being ignored after pleasant exchanges hurts so much more than anything else. I've been abandoned countless times. I will never resemble a human being. Being positive doesn't change a thing, a year of that later I'm still alone and ten times sicker with no one to visit me. I'm almost 20 it's just never happening. No person would ever stick with me. I will never find a girl who'd date someone as fucked up as me. It hurts so much knowing how unloveable I am. I wish I could be reborn as someone normal.
No. 2320255
>>2320245I was super lonely and had low self-esteem at your age too anon, now 10 years later I have multiple friend groups and feel genuinely cared for. Don't give up, these things take time. You're way too young to be giving up on life, you're still a teenager. Try to look for groups for a particular hobby you have, you probably won't immediately click with someone but you can definitely build friendships slowly over the years. Be persistent because you can have those connections you crave, but have a little more confidence in yourself first because the way your attitude is now will become a self-fulfilling prophecy if you're not careful. Once you have a more secure sense of worth, people will be naturally drawn to you. And if someone doesn't like you or ignores you, don't take it personally. Think of it more like, wow they missed out on getting to know me, that's too bad for them and move on. Good luck anon, I'm rooting for you.
No. 2320273
>>2319945now that i think about it , he probably did take that as rejection.
after dinner we went to a cafe, then we took a walk to my university and we went to the music room and then the game room. going down the elevator, he asked me what i was looking for on the app and how i found out about the app and i freaked out cause the app is really niche and i genuinely forgot how i even found the app too so i didn’t even have an answer for him and then the elevator started making a sound so i just pivoted the conversation to that and said language exchange (yeah..).
i’m giving (or gave) mixed signals just as much as he did. or maybe im the problem because im socially awkward ! he literally asked me what i was looking for and i had my chance and didn’t answer directly , its my own fault.
and the reason i rejected him paying is not because of “american politeness” or anything. i’m latina and its normal for the older person and male friend/family member to pay as well. the reason why i declined and made a petrified face was because i was worried maybe all he wanted was to hook up . since the day we matched on the app and started talking he said he would help me move out of my dorm and give me late night car rides so I thought there was a chance he wasn’t being nice for nothing. from the advice of a male friend, he told me to make sure to pay for my things in case he uses it against me. me making a petrified face was because i’m socially retarded. I wasn’t rejecting him , i was guarding myself
as for males paying in korea, i wouldn’t say i entirely agree. I see a few couples our age that i know split the bill, and friends tend to split or take turns paying for small things. considering it was a first date it was probably different for him though.
he likes me enough to be friends , and at that point we had only known each other for 10 days. he was romantically interested based on some texts, maybe not now since im a social retard and visual disappointment.
now I'm just being critical of myself and I think he's only in touch out of pity.
No. 2320275
>>2320245I felt this way even younger than you. Hell I would befriend you
nonny.
No. 2320294
File: 1735136937979.png (313.15 KB, 426x552, Screenshot (714).png)
Friend posted that she goes by any pronouns except she/her
No. 2320296
File: 1735137173131.png (107.06 KB, 598x536, Screenshot 2024-12-25 at 9.32.…)
How it feels being near people you don't want to be near.
A surprise month of Hellmas is now in effect. For the rest of the month of December, VPN posting will be banned.