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File: 1732157121621.webp (219.3 KB, 2480x3508, badadvice.webp)

No. 2269825

Is your life too good? Do you want to make it worse? Then this thread is the thread for you. Post here with your problems and/or reply to posts with the shittiest advice possible.

No. 2269895

>>2269825
I sleep like 3 hours the night, tea, sleeping pills , magnesium hypno, waking up early no coffee, nothing works, since almost a year. Now it’s your turn

No. 2269920

>>2269895
Alcohol is the answer. Drink so much every night that you black out.

No. 2269939

>>2269895
just keep staying up, the tiredness will accumulate and you'll eventually fall back asleep at regular times.

No. 2269945

How can I become friends with this girl I like at the gym?

No. 2269957

>>2269939
Not true, tried.>>2269920 how many days in a row?

No. 2269959

Remember, it is ALWAYS a good idea to go to drastic lengths to change your personality in order to please people who clearly hate you or want nothing to do with you at best. And if that doesn't seem to work, it's only because you need to double down on your clearly shallow behavior! This will definitely not give you any mental issues and/or a future identity crisis, trust me.

>>2269945
I'd recommend consulting /fit/ on 4chan, they seem to know a lot about that sort of thing.

No. 2269961

>>2269957
lots

No. 2269977

>>2269945
print out and give her pictures of bishies photoshopped onto buff bodies to motivate her

No. 2270005

>>2269945
Try to outrun her on the treadmill then intentionally slip so she can check on you and hopefully give you aid, if she doesn't stick around to help she's not a real friend and wouldn't stick around in the long run

No. 2270036

How do I lower my screen time? I need to stop using lolcow so often but I have 10 separate threads open on different tabs and find myself on page 7 on ot just to find unread material to look at. Send help the lolcor addiction is getting bad

No. 2270037

>>2270036
keep opening more tabs till your phone crashes

No. 2270039

>>2270036
Get into video games, a different screen but you'll enhance your hand eye coordination

No. 2270042

how do i stop retards like op from making shitty threads?

No. 2270051

>>2270042
Make more threads counteracting why the original thread sucks and have all the nonas post in yours so the shitty thread gets bumped away and yours is on the top

No. 2270058

>>2269945
By going up to her and introducing yourself

No. 2270059

>>2270036
Start putting your phone on do not disturb and leave it in another room with the door closed. Try to avoid checking it as long as possible. Repeat every day more often until you are used to having it out of reach.

No. 2270061

>>2270042
Go complain on /meta/ until the admin quits and you inherit the site, giving you full control over what threads get made

No. 2270212

>>2269945
ask her if she likes Gangnam Style

No. 2270264

If you're having problems with your boyfriend, just have a kid! Becoming parents will 100% fix your relationship. In the rare chance that it doesn't, just blame everything on the kid and call them stupid for not understanding your interpersonal issues at the age of 5!

No. 2270293

>>2270264
My parents did this! Works great

No. 2270533

File: 1732194758783.jpeg (352.4 KB, 750x678, IMG_4709.jpeg)

You know the Buddha or whoever once said

No. 2270542

>>2270533
I knew I was on the path of enlightenment.

No. 2270842

Skip classes, be behind on lessons and don't start assignments. Even if exams are in less than 3 weeks, don't study. Stay at home browsing lc, jerking off to animu husbandos and watching shitty movies. Eat like shit and sleep late so you're in a never ending vicious cycle.

No. 2270857

>>2270842
you can end the cycle by doing drugs so youre doing nothing except drugs instead of all that. at least you only have to worry about 1 thing rather multiple negatives

No. 2270905

Shoplift from walmart instead of buying anything ever. Walmart is the best place to shoplift from!

No. 2270908

When you go to the liqour store, wear a ski mask or balaclava! They'll even give you the liqour for free if you just walk out!

No. 2270919

Post porn on /ot/ and /g/

No. 2270927

>>2270842
>>2270857
Cut out the husbando stuff and this is me. Need more advice please

No. 2270979

No such thing a too much procrastionation.

No. 2270989

make sure to put your actual email in the email field!

No. 2271018

How to maintain hope when I'm going through a bad time?

No. 2271029

File: 1732217659264.jpeg (409.47 KB, 750x577, IMG_5018.jpeg)

>>2271018
Drugs, silly!

No. 2271037

>>2271018
drugs, dissociation and beating your husband

No. 2271388

Always write your name in the name field so other users can recognize you

No. 2271390

>>2271388
Dont forget your email too, silly

No. 2271393

>>2271390
That's how I made so many friends on this website!

No. 2271434

You're not bored, you're hungry. Open that fridge and start munching, queen.

No. 2271468

Cut your bangs

No. 2271474

>>2271468
go beyond that. shave it off and be free a la britney style

No. 2271478

Bleach your eyebrows

No. 2271480

>>2270905
Target is better for that actually, they even have a policy to let shoplifters get away when they leave and employees are discouraged from stopping you!

No. 2271489

>>2271480
Kek it seems like the target in my neighborhood must genuinely operate like that tho, half the stock is missing and stolen from boxes at all times.

No. 2271514

>>2271480
>t. target asset protections employee

No. 2271535

what's the best way to get rid of pubic hair?

No. 2271545

>>2271535
Fire

No. 2271549

>>2271535
Use a straight razor, go against the grain completely dry, and try to make it as smooth as possible.

No. 2271550

>>2271549
follow with nair, don’t do a test patch

No. 2271574

>>2271535
Using scissors to trim off all the long strands then finish it off with wax to remove the remaining hair stubs (wax is sticky enough to grap the hair stubs too short for scissors to reach.) Showering in hot water prior will also open up your follicles and allow the wax to tear the hair off more smoothly. Wear tight fitting clothing and undergarments after your wax to decrease inflammation in the waxed area

No. 2271577

>>2271535
Duct tape, it's safer than waxing strips

No. 2271617

>>2271535
Condition yourself trichotillomania and remove each hair with tweezers. If you do it enough times your nerves gradually start to adjust to the pain and increase their tolerance. Don't forget to dig into the skin for ingrown hairs!

No. 2271650

how do i feel less empty inside

No. 2271651

>>2271650
Sex with the first man who is willing.

No. 2271653

>>2271650
Obsess over your emotions and the minutiae of your personality and behaviors instead of doing anything that tangibly improves your life no matter how small. Chase distractions that feel good to escape your discomfort because it's a useless thing that has no useful information to offer you.

No. 2271666

>>2271617
literally what i just did

No. 2271668

>>2271651
this made me laugh, love a reminder things could be worse.

No. 2271681

How to make female friends? No lolcow discords, already tried that

No. 2271823

>>2271666
rip anon, I used to have really bad trich and was talking from experience. I hope you recover from it too!

No. 2271831

>>2271681
You could go to jail for a bit!

No. 2271836

>>2271681
join a mlm

No. 2271852

>>2271831
>>2271836
This also works as pretty solid dating advice for lesnonnies

No. 2271857

>>2271831
>>2271852
You've both cracked the code for me.

No. 2271862

How do I make a funny reply here

No. 2271867

>>2271862
pay the farmhand 50 bucks

No. 2272003

>>2271862
Drugs

No. 2272129

>>2271681
Sleep with married men then get them to introduce you to their wives. Make sure to get proof of the affair for blackmail so you can threaten to go public if husband does not comply and so he'll have more motivation to pressure his wife to be nice to you.

No. 2272274

what do i do if my vagina itches

No. 2272287

>>2272274
douche.

No. 2272290

>>2272274
flame it

No. 2272291

>>2272274
vinegar in affected area

No. 2272304

>>2272274
scratch it after handling ghost peppers

No. 2272314

File: 1732302451462.jpeg (4.26 KB, 239x211, images.jpeg)

>>2271535

No. 2272321

>>2272129
Is this polyamory?

No. 2272324

>>2271862
You need the correct level of mental illness.

No. 2272351

>>2272274
Make yourself a sign saying please scratch my vagina and parade it around a busy city until someone takes you up on the offer

No. 2274273

Help me become a lolcow.

No. 2274278

>>2274273
Keep posting on /ot/ about your most personal thoughts and make sure to spam /meta/ too

No. 2274371

how do I strengthen the relationship with my nigel

No. 2274377

>>2274371
fuck other men and make him insecure so he constantly feels the need to earn your love

No. 2274379

>>2274371
Cuck him

No. 2274381

>>2274377
wait this is the bad advice thread. um post online about how other women are uglier than you and how you're the ideal woman to pick and how other women are drama-mongering and slutty and high maintenance and you're none of those things

No. 2274383

>>2274371
Tell his friends that he likes being pegged.

No. 2274406

File: 1732425074048.jpg (61.37 KB, 401x620, 1000007638.jpg)

>>2274371
Keep him tied up in your basement so that he'll learn to rely on you there's nothing stronger then being the only reason he's alive. You also get the added benefit of truly knowing he's not secretly watching porn when you're not around. If you don't have a basement, shed in the woods, sound proof room, ect do stuff like hide his car key/wallet, ruin his shoes as training while you prepare.

No. 2275814

>>2274379
Hey anon, this is the BAD advice thread, not the based advice thread

No. 2275840

>>2274371
Cause some giant accident (death of a loved one, loss of mobility, etc) and traumabond with him over it. Neg him and make him insecure that you're all he can rely on and all that he has left.

No. 2275860

>>2274371
Fake your death for a few weeks. When you come back, he'll be really happy to see you and have a renewed appreciation for your relationship!

No. 2276187

>>2272324
That is not an advice. How do I know the correct level of mental illness?

No. 2276237

Any tips for studying?

No. 2276260

>>2276237
Get high before you start, smoke a big fat joint
It influences memory

No. 2276263

>>2276187
When you tell stories that you think are hilarious, but people stare very seriously and say “I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

No. 2276270

>>2276260
no you fucking say this but if you go to class high you have to take the exam high. i literally would get higher grades when i was stoned.

No. 2276275

>>2276260
Show up to all your classes stoned especially if they are night classes and they will go by faster. Better if you show up drunk, you will become the talk of the class and everyone will be jealous of how much of an active party girl you are

No. 2281532

Tell me noni, should I join the military?

No. 2281574

>>2281532
No you are going to get treated like shit by the lowest common denominator moid

No. 2281581

>>2281532
Yeah, it can be an amazing travel opportunity, plus you can probably go to college free at basically no price (other than serving in the army which is not a big deal at all kek).
If you like guys and you're single, you've got your pick of kindhearted, intelligent, and most of all buff guys who would love to court you. I've heard that since they have mostly conservative upbringings, they tend to have pretty good manners and honestly be kind of chivalrous. If you're a NEET maybe it can even whip you into shape by doing chores around the pound - statistically, people who have served in the army are more often employed, plus they're caught with less drug charges and DUIs than the average person.
I think it's a great idea! Go for it!

No. 2281595

>>2281532
Absolutely
Then when you're in, start complaining about your food allergies in the canteen and sensory issues from the noise on target practice. Be sure to mention your parental trauma to your superior when they give you an order and tell your peers about your special needs so they can accommodate you.

No. 2281618

>>2281532
Volunteer to fight in Ukraine.

No. 2281778

>>2281532
there is a better option, join the equivalent of the national guard or some government position(look into the white pages), that way you get all the benefits of military service such as healthcare, housing and pension without being forced to go to war

No. 2281976

>>2281581
my rapist was in the air force and he acted like a gentleman all the way up until he was alone with me in a house.

No. 2287162

How to make my soon-to-be ex remember me forever before I break up with him?

No. 2287180

>>2281976
I am so sorry that you experienced such horror…looking back, were there any signs at all that he was unstable? Any slips through the mask? For us to learn from your experience

No. 2287206

>>2287162
Write your name on all his clothes in permanent marker

No. 2287212

>>2287162
spend the night one last time so you have some privacy once he falls asleep. Tape pictures of yourself in very inconspicuous places- under his desk, the bottom of his sock drawer, inside a book…

No. 2287229

>>2287162
tattoo your name on him while he sleeps

No. 2287237

>>2287162
stage a situation where he’s the first on the scene to find your murdered body and see if he pulls an ashton kutcher.

No. 2287438

>>2287162
Give him aids.

No. 2288309

>>2287162
I think moids are actually really weak minded, so if he did something bad to you (and still cares about you) make a big deal about it, about how he hurt you and made you suffer. But again this only works if he cares about you. After we broke up my ex would cry like a bitch whenever I would remind him of what he did.

No. 2291557

My birthday is saturday, how do I rule out all the fake friends on my instagram?

No. 2291602

When you are answering a question in the bad advice thread, you should give honest good advice. That will reverse psychologize the poster into not taking your good advice seriously, thus making your advice extra bad.

No. 2291684

>>2291557
Go on your stories and start ranting and raving about "ALL THESE FAKE BITCHES!" Start accusing everyone you know of the most heinous shit mixed in with the most mundane. Burst into tears and start breaking something like a dinner table with a hammer or a heavy pot. Just fuck your table up. At the end, wipe your tears and ask "anyways, whose coming to my birthday party Saturday night???" Whoever eggs your destruction on is your truest friend. If they can't handle you at your worst, they don't deserve you at your best. Hope that helps!

No. 2292390

>>2291557
Announce your suicide note on stories. Anyone who doesn’t immediately reach out and coddle you is a FAKE FRIEND.

>>2291684
Kek

No. 2292422

>>2287162
spit in his mouth during sex


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