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No. 225490

So I'm 23 and a lot has happened since I left uni- I got into a retail job to pay my bills, came out of therapy feeling (mostly) healthier mentally, I've got some great friends and a relationship I want to work out, and I'm getting over the loss of my father who died recently.

My problem is in the last couple years that I have a habit of starting, stopping, settling….so I've stayed in the same job that makes me miserable while I've had to be back and forth there and hospital during my dad's illness, and I've entered a mental phase of "there is nothing out there you're good enough for"

Now that his funeral has passed and I've been away travelling with friends and I've come back with a fresh mindset, I realize this year I want to turn that all around.

I want to quit my job to work somewhere with a solid routine, like a Monday-Friday, I want to learn to be braver about persuing what I want to. I feel like two years of retail should be sufficient on a CV.

I live and rent by myself, and I often fall into the self doubt trap of wanting to impress my mother who has very different ideals to me and was very controlling in my upbringing…only since moving out is she realizing I'm my own person, but she does occassionally try to interfere and I want to learn how to deal with that.

Tldr it's time I got back into being healthier, exercising, and most importantly getting myself the motivation to apply for better jobs and feel like I'm able to reach for the things I want to do.

I feel like my cvs and applications are destined to always be rejected and my fatigue from my current job as well as depression sometimes holds me back.

How do I kick myself so I can start living the life I want? I can get out of bed now when four years ago I couldn't bring myself to…but how do I get myself out of this mental metaphorical bed and go make myself proud?

No. 232280

I hope you are still around as your thread is kind of old.

>How do I kick myself so I can start living the life I want?

The first step would be to think about your goals in life. What do you want to do? Who do you want to be? Write down your goals. Then a few days later look at the paper again and check if you are sure about it. This gives you a general outline about what to do. Some people believe you should never plan detailed plans because in the end it always comes different then expected.

Then the next step would be to make your goals SMART.
Basically you need to define your goals in a manner that makes them achievable and of course you need an indicator that will show if you achieved them or not. For example (one type of goal many people have each january):

>I want to lose weight

not a smart goal because there are no details given about how much and in what time

>I want to lose 5 pounds of weight during the next 2 months while using low fat diet and exercising 2 days a week

goal defined in a smart way. Goals are defined in detail and can be measured.

The key to success is to always get yourself to do things. Even if you don't like them. So for example if you want to do fitness on wednesdays, pack your fitness bag on tuesday evening already so when you wake up on wednesday morning you already see the bag and already know today you gonna do fitness. Basically do a list of tasks that will help you to achieve your greater goal and then always bring yourself to do them. Maybe make a list every week and cross out something when you did it.

I wish you good luck for your project!

No. 233107

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