File: 1498084589052.jpeg (224.05 KB, 580x435, sam-clarissa-explains-all-larg…)
No. 195911
A large amount of men just don't find women worth befriending for whatever reasons. I don't really see why that's a problem though, a lot of women almost exclusively have female friends and no one cares if she can or cannot befriend a man. If a man can't be your friend without trying to fuck you, just move on from him. Friendship is a whole lot more than what gender that person is. Who cares if they're a man or a woman, as long as it's a good friendship.
>>195907how does constantly chasing after women mean casual sex is OK but serial monogamy isn't? I'm just kinda confused about this one. Like guys who are constantly trying to find a gf?
No. 195924
>>195907Same here more or less. In addition, my close guy friends are really open about not
wanting to find me attractive. I was talking about how I needed to work out more and my friend said "Don't get too buff, I'm into that." The fact that they're comfortable telling me this and also comfortable telling me to fuck off once in a while and aren't afraid to tell me "no" (not being "beta orbiters", basically) is what has made our friendship work, I think. Also the fact that I've pretty much always been single and they go in and out of relationships makes me confident that they aren't interested in dating me at all.
No. 195926
File: 1498096054214.png (109.76 KB, 500x432, when-you-want-a-girls-night-bu…)
some of my best friends are male
it's just what you'd expect a normal friendship to be and they never tried getting with me or anything (I'm a lesbian) but I hate it because sometimes I want some girl time and go shopping and get manicures and stuff everynow and then but I have no female friends, ever since I came out, usually girls get creeped out when I try to be friends with them, most girls here are stuck up and think you have some massive lesbian crush on them if you add them on FB, I did have good female relationships in the past but they all moved
pic related, it's literally me with my friends
No. 195951
I feel the same as
>>195926 except I'm straight. Mixed gender friendships were normal in my family though, I think people that grow up in very traditional families probably struggle with it more.
I'll admit to keeping male orbiters when I was naive and younger but now I shut that stuff down immediately and I'm more sensible about the messages I give off because I understand you can't trust strangers to not be thirsty. I'm very candid about how committed I am to my bf, so there's no room for any mixed messages to grow.
>>195941>this person is cute/we have similar interests which is radI think it's healthy to be feel someone is great without going all oneitis on it, but maybe joking about it during drinking games particularly adds too much tension to me.
I'm comfortable admitting that I would probably date/fuck most of my friends in an alternative reality, but I went through a short phase on crushing on a friend this year to the point I was having sex dreams and stealing glances and I just felt guilty for how disrespectful it was to be such a creep when he clearly didn't notice so I had to stop seeing him for a while and it has really changed my opinion on orbiters in a more negative way. Appreciating your friends visually is fine but I don't know how thirsty people who secretly consciously creep on their friends under the pretense of friendships can live with themselves, it's so invasive.
No. 195955
File: 1498126139475.gif (2.4 MB, 496x280, tenor.gif)
>>195926sounds about right, some girls get creeped out way too easily by other girls
No. 195961
i read this article and while i found it very sexist at first, it got stuck in my mind and unfortunately saw that many of my male friends, especially the close ones do the "finding a more casual and accessible friend group and ditching the close female friend" thing:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/men-women-can-never-friends-sex-has-nothing-do/i do have some male friendships that doesn't fit this bill, but they tend to be more relaxed, less intimate ones.
No. 195980
File: 1498155389096.png (4.61 KB, 493x402, 1491886545072.png)
Made a very good guy friend at my first workplace. Thought we were close and we even hung out at each other's houses.
Her girlfriend made him break contact with me and told him some bullshit about me trying to tear them apart. He ate it up completely and cut all contact with me.
Been weary about making guy friends since then. Their SOs and male friends will always come before you.
No. 195982
>>195901I have a large number of guy friends I've known for various lengths of time (10 years being the longest), and I've never had any weird sexual tension with them or anything like that. In comparison, I have literally 2 girl friends who I've known my entire life. I find it much more difficult to make girl friends vs guys, and I suppose that's because I'm not a very open person. I think I come across as cold, which sucks because I've always wanted a group of girl friends like all those cheesy chick flicks.
Anyway I'm rambling - guy friends are great, and if you find a guy who is incapable of just being friends he's a shit person, because I guarentee there are a fuck ton of guys out there that can be will respect you and value your friendship.
No. 196156
>>196153I wish I knew how to trust others. I've been cheated on three times, and it makes me so scared of being cheated on again (even though I don't think my current boyfriend is the kind of person to do that.) I've never cheated myself. I guess I'm just really afraid of losing my boyfriend again the same way. I get sick to my stomach when he talks to his female friends or hangs out with any girls, even if they are just his friends. I never tell him what to do or go through his phone or anything stupid, but I can seriously have an anxiety attack if he gets a text from a girl. It's not healthy.
I know this isn't really the right thread for this, but how do you learn how to trust other people again? Or do you think there's just something wrong with me that makes people want to cheat on me?
sage for getting kind of off topic
No. 196162
>>195989>>196151My boyfriend and I both have an agreement that I don't have male friends and he doesn't have female friends.
The only exception is my best friend who is male but I've known him since childhood and he's really ugly and he thinks I'm really ugly so it works out. We're the opposite of each other's types. He likes petite yet masculine Asian girls (think Amber from f(x)) and I like dadbod funny types (my boyfriend looks like Chris Pratt in Parks & Rec). I'm a chubby white girl and he's a rail-thin awkward dude.
My boyfriend barely minds if I have male friends anyways, he's more concerned about me making female friends. I'm bisexual but leaning very heavily towards girls so he's more paranoid about them, haha.
But I do think girls and guys can be friends if there is obviously no attraction between the two of them. Otherwise nah. Too risky.
No. 196181
>>196175Where the hell are you even drawing those conclusions? Of course their SO should be more important than me. It's one thing to prioritize and another to have a crazy bitch try to destroy her boyfriend's social life (she's weird about his guy friends too).
Did your own SO run off with another dude or something? Take a fucking chill pill.
I should mention they were broken up/"taking a break" during this time because of her insane jealousy issues. How about those assumptions, anon No. 196185
>>195980Hey I was the gf once. But the girl was being territorial and it was clear to anyone she was into him. My reasoning for cutting off? He asked me to do the same for someone who was nowhere near the level she was at. We broke up for other reasons and… shocker they got together afterwards. What makes me laugh is that she blames me still for her realising her feelings and it was my fault I pushed them together.
Glad I'm out of that shithole.
No. 196232
i have close male friends but they tend to be more on the effeminate side, even if they're straight. i think it works out better that way. a couple of my other friends have confessed they found me cute / had a crush on me initially though.
>>195980>>196175lmao right. i give higher priority to my boyfriend and older friends than some new random who walks into my life. i hope you didn't hang out alone at each other's house, even if his gf was around at his. if so she was right to get upset.
No. 196241
I was a tomboy growing up and had multiple male friends, so you can imagine that once puberty hit I lost them all. Ever since then whenever I've befriended a male, they at some point make it aware that they want a relationship. When you say no, you don't feel that way about them, they leave completely. The basic story you all probably know. It's depressing. Now when nearing 30 guys are getting more sensible about that again and you can actually have male friends without them having second thoughts since most of them have stable relationships and they don't need to desperately latch onto any woman willing to talk to them.
So most of my male friends are already taken and I really understand them putting their SO before me except when they completely cut off all contact because their girlfriend is jealous of her boyfriend talking to another girl. That kind of relationship isn't going to work when your SO can't trust you. And lo and behold, they usually break up after around 6-12 months in bad terms and the guy comes crawling back to his old friends.
>>195926>ever since I came out, usually girls get creeped out when I try to be friends with them, most girls here are stuck up and think you have some massive lesbian crush on them if you add them on FBGod, this. I'm bi leaning more towards girls and I'm in the closet for this exact reason. Straight girls often get creeped the fuck out when they find out someone is into girls because of course bi/lesbians are all horny as fuck rapists wanting to move onto ANY girl. And the media doesn't really help this by portraying every lesbian character as some slimeball flirting with every girl possible.
No. 196324
>>196181Lol suuuure that's what's up. Backpedaling nicely there. What happened to:
>Been weary about making guy friends since then. Their SOs and male friends will always come before you.Apparently you DON'T understand boundaries, and you DON'T understand that it's completely normal that SO's come before friends. You don't like it when you can't be the most important person in someone's life. Pretty sure there's a very good reason why his girlfriend wanted him to break contact with you, you do sound like one of those territorial girls who think they should be treated as more important than significant others and older friends.
No. 196337
>>196324Nice projection of your insecurities, anon. I already said it was worded very terribly
This was a good ten years ago and now that I reflect on it, breaking contact would've wiser. Finally being in a relationship myself, I can sympathize. But my real gripe, the way it happened, was absolutely painful and unnecessary considering we were on our way to losing touch anyways. A goddamned text message would've been less traumatic.
But keep smashing your meaty little fists in self-righteous fury while pretending to know a single thing, I guess. I almost forgot this was lolcow