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File: 1491305371525.png (371.9 KB, 300x300, questionable woman.png)

No. 185681

Can someone else make you happy, or do you have to learn to be happy alone before being with someone else?

No. 185683

Of course someone else can make you happy. But they can't make you love or accept yourself.

The downside of not being happy with yourself is that you might try to sabotage yourself, self doubt and other crap.

No. 185693

OP you can never be happy, because you're a self absorbed piece of shit that thinks they deserve their own thread rather than using a general

No. 185695

What makes you think you deserve your own post?

No. 185703

What makes you think you deserve to be Anonymous?

No. 185717

I always reflect on this issue. I guess the "right" answer is that you have to make yourself happy first and become happy on your own because you should not depend on others for happiness. But i think most people do depend on others and never learn to be happy alone. I know i haven't learned that yet, maybe never will

No. 185729

no one will MAKE you happy, but they can certainly be a wonderful support and help you along the way to happiness within yourself, imo

No. 186025

Never ever rely on other people to make you happy tbh
Bad path to take and completely unrealistic to search for happiness through other people

Can other people increase your happiness? Yes, but you're responsible for making yourself happy

No. 186056

I think it's incredibly important to learn how to be comfortable with solitude, and understand ways you can create your own happiness. Also, the idea of someone "making" your happiness sounds like an idealization of a perfect state that doesn't exist. Happiness is a state that is constantly fleeting and requires the grit and investment into your own self development.

If you rest your hopes of happiness on someone else you're requiring them to bear your burden. It's escaping the fear of solitude and expecting an answer from outside yourself, in my opinion. If you give yourself up into someone else and expect them to make your happiness, when that person doesn't meet your happiness fulfillment requirements you run the risk of becoming spiteful and embittered towards them, as they're seen as withholding "your" happiness.

Not only that, but it's very unfair to enter a relationship without first asking yourself if you have it within your capacity to create happiness for someone else. Creating happiness in a relationship is a two person endeavour. If you can tough it out through your most silent hours and answer yes to "can I create my own happiness?" I think you're ready to fully commit yourself to another. Personally, I've found it a lot more gratifying to make my partner happy rather than asking what they can do for me. Honing the ability to bring joy to others is part of the path to happiness imo

No. 186112

Firstly, question about priority is stupid. There are no rulebooks of life for everything and in many cases only outcome matters, not a way t achieve it.

Secondly, no one can really make you happy. Happiness comes from appreciation (either genuine or selfbullshitting which is surprisingly effective, but many people underestimate their own brains) and biology (stuff we are conditioned to to create chems which improves our mood, for examples endorphins created during physical activity). If there were some other rules on this you wouldn't have depressed bilionaires or couples, and happy/carefree nigs in africa or lone people. In fact, when you take into consideration whole globe, EU and US should have no sad people at all.

You can appreciate anything, every small detail. It can be taste of some food, it can be sounds, it can be work done right, it can be just laying, listening to silence and resting, even someone's else happiness, or if you believe the theory of selfishness being behind everything, you can appreciate someone's else appreciation of your actions.
Your character can affect ease of appreciation of various stuff to some degree, but it isn't 100% full and solid.
Someone else can just give you additional material to appreciate, for example you cann't have sex or discussion including different views etc alone. There is even difference between you touching yourself and someone else touching you. For example have you ever wondered why it's easy to get tickled by someone else, but it's hard to tickle yourself?
So yeah, someone else can help you achieve happiness, but there's only so much they can do and final step, appreciation, will always be your job.

Also this anon >>186056 has right idea about fleeing from responsibility, dropping your burden on someone else and it being unfair. I'll just add that sometimes people are really weak/stupid/whatever. It's just how life is and you can't do shit about it, not everyone is truly equal. You can be unable to get better or decide not to, but don't expect to be treated equally, become follower, not leader or even "partner". You can't eat a cake and have it. It can only be done by taking away someone's else cake. At least have enough decency to not do that.

No. 186197

My ex needed a partner to be happy. Stay far a-fucking-way from people like that, because they have serious problems and may turn out to be emotionally abusive too. You can become trapped with someone out of fear. And if _you_ are like this, you need to work on self-improvement and figure out why you can't be happy alone. (This is all directed at OP.)

Someone can make you happy, but you need to be happy alone too. I'm happier with my boyfriend, but I was happy single and while dating other people. It's a different kind of happy. I can enjoy my solitude and hobbies to myself without needing someone else.

It's a subtle balance of independence and appreciating other people and what you have and encounter in life.

No. 187972

What if the thing that makes me happy is making someone else happy?

No. 187975

Making people happy makes me happy and I'm happy when people are happy!

No. 187977

File: 1493047308750.jpg (50.04 KB, 605x375, Volunteer-Overseas-image.jpg)

Become a volunteer.

No. 187984

N-not like that…

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